#and I love my slutty blorbo

[dongbangskies]

Re: INKODE, Jaejoong, DBSK, and all of the Cassies who still hold AKTF.

Before we start: I just want to point everyone to the "bio" and handle and be very clear that DBSK was the thing that caused this blog to exist in the first place. Back in the late 2000s. DongBangSkies? DongBangShinKi.

I was there when the announcement of the JYJ lawsuit and the end of DBSK hit Allkpop.com. I remember running home from school ready to watch another live performance on YouTube and seeing that article instead. And I remember hoping and praying they just settle it normally, knowing full well it was the end. Because thats just the nature of boybands rights? They make it big and split. And either they all fizzle out or only one person gets really famous.

Even back then, the DB5K Cassies all said the only way they would come back is if someone needs to have their own label, buy back everything they ever released and come back in 10 years after they all establish solo careers.

And even in 2009, I said Jaejoong was going to be the only one that could do it. Make enough money as a solo to make a company or be able to buy back what he spent 9 years working on.

Its been well over 10 years. and he has fought and clawed his way back despite getting blacklisted at the height of his career and spending his remaining hot-topic youth years without broadcasts. And he fucking did it. He has his own label.

Is it still a pipeline dream that Yunho and Changmin will leave SM or do a partnership with Jaejoong after all these years estranged? Is it kind of impossible for a DB5K comeback with Yoochun cancelled for drugs? Yes. 100% yes.

But I've kept the faith for this long. And I won't be stopping any time soon.

To my Cassiopeia community, regardless of where you are now: Hi. I miss you. I want you to know how important you were to my teenage self and hope to meet you under the Red Sea again someday.

[cozylittleartblog]

character practice doodle i really liked! he is looking in a mirror.

[prettyinpunk]

whats sluttier a man with no shirt or a man in a tiny tiny shirt

speedrun congrats gift for a very special girlie, beloved loml @originofpwoper 💖💖💖

[blorbocedes]

styling wag!nico for monaco grand prix based off his actual outfits~ with a little razzle dazzle

[remyfire]

Being an erotic romance author means that I get through stressful work days by running smutty scenarios in the back of my head that I don't want to forget to write later on, but the fun thing is that Christina is the only one who gets the joy of receiving said scenarios so I can get her opinion on them and if they're worth writing out in full, and anyway that's how she just received five full paragraphs where the punchline is just "something something Beej who has had sex with One (1) woman in his whole life learns very abruptly what squirting is on accident during his first foursome."

[damn-that-really-happened]

[sunnymimis]

Some of my main OCs as One Piece characters now that I caught up!

[arcanechariot]

lucien and anselm

or why i dont think theyre the same person

specifically for @faretheeoscar and i figured @wilder-fangirl might be interested (also @iolaussharpe-24 id love to hear your take)

disclaimer

i dont think that people who have this theory are wrong or stupid or anything like that. im just saying this bc i know people are v protective of their blorbos and i get that but me putting my theory forward doesnt have to go against you having your own theory

you do you. this is just my interpretation 💛💛

also im not an expert on any of the stuff im about to talk about. im just a guy with access to the internet and a qualification in media studies and psychology (and overanalysing things)

also also i havent seen the entirety of bbg so im mainly going off anselms scene (and my quick scrub of the movie)

1: time periods & ages

so at the veeeeeery start of ticky tacky we see lucien being a silly horny boy

after checking, i can confirm that this is the playboy issue from april 1970

he uses a record player and seems to prefer more vintage-style interior design though this isnt entirely telling of the time period as, on his desk, he has what looks to be a voip phone so we might be able to place ticky tacky around 2008

as a rule, i tend to age characters (unless explicitly stated or if they seem de-aged/aged up) at the same age the actor was at the time of playing the role. oscar was about 35 playing lucien and i think he looks about that old. so 2008-35=1973. id have lucien being born around 1973

whereas (to me, at least) anselm seems a lot older than the 43 oscar was at the time. as stated in my nsfw a-z for anselm, i have him pegged at around 60

we see sams hospital room at the very start of bgb and this looks pretty modern to me so i wanna place the main plot around late 2010s to early 2020s? say 2018?

sam does use a tape recorder and a typewriter but i think these are a more stylistic choice and the time period of those two things dont match the apparent time period of the above hospital room

2018-60=1958. i see anselm being born around 1958

so anselm born in '58 and lucien born in '73

2: differences in character

anselm does this slutty pouty thing with his lips and i dont think i clocked lucien doing it

anselm is also like naturally flirtatious and sexual but i see lucien as more of a silly easily-excited emotional boy

ofc theres the issue of the accent which lucien doesnt have

lucien admits that hes never killed anyone before but anselm seems to have no qualms shooting his cousin for just being annoying

anselm has that horny old man energy™️

lucien takes care with his crime (lining the floor with plastic, using leather gloves as to not leave fingerprints on the pistol, etc) but anselm literally gives no fucks and goes in raw

ofc the injuries would still make sense if anselm was lucien but thats assuming that lucien literally has no sense of selfpreservation and just chooses to burn inside his study and then suddenly decides to crawl out which doesnt make sense to me

i made a hc for anselms injuries in my nsfw hcs; correct me if im wrong but we dont find out why anselm has his injuries. as thats the case, im just going to make a little hc for that too. i feel like he was probably involved in gas explosion (possibly when he was a kid). that would account for the burn scars, the one blind eye (from heat or flying glass), his crippled leg (from a structural collapse pinning the leg) and occasional breathing difficulties (from lung scarring due to prolonged smoke inhalation)

3: the cousins

this is the same man (tim rock) as the cousins of lucien and anselm respectively. i find it very odd that, if anselm was lucien, he would just so happen to have two cousins that look exactly the same. i mean ig they could be identical twins but like in that case why would you then go and gleefully work for the man who killed your brother?

4: conclusion

i have literally no beef with people who think anselm is just an older lucien but, to me, theyre two different people

besides why have one rich dilf when you could have two?

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

[cepetriwrites]

Alicent Reverses the Hourglass Ch 47 Memes Part 1

Witch: you’ve failed to change your fate

Alicent: WTF? Everything is so different. I didn’t marry the king

Witch: but you’re married to a future Targaryen?

Alicent:….

Witch: and you’re pregnant with Aegon

Alicent:….

Witch: how’s your relationship with rhaenyra?

Alicent:

Okay but you sent back Slutty McSluttFace as the only person who knew about their past live except Criston. Of course you’re going to fuck the only person who understands what you’ve been through!

& it’s Daemon! His two moods are fight and fuck and he ALREADY KILLED HER.

Be so fr rn

The poetry of Alicent’s children’s souls being tied to her. Finally someone chose her, and it’s the children she never wanted. Her father never chose her, her husband never chose her, but her children did. In spite of all the tragedy they suffered, they choose her. They want to try again. Maybe this time they’ll get it right.

Let me be your mother again, I’ll love you right this time

Let me be your child again. I’ll make you proud this time.

I’m on my knees. A+ poetic plot reddish

Alicent’s Vagina hearing she’ll have all her children again

Now I’m just sitting here wondering if that’s the reason.

Alicent trying to get Daemon to understand why he should help out his vassals

That’s my low empathy / developmentally & emotionally stunted / narcissism as a maladaptive coping mechanism due to childhood abuse blorbo

(Fun fact: Did you know that NPD (not saying Daemon has that) is typically caused by abuse received during childhood. Them cycles of abuse keep on cycling smh)

Memes Masterpost

[peace-hunter]

OMG have you seen TFP I think u would love it!! Especially the third season!

sorry for the late answer! but i wanted to wait until i finished season 3 and the movie which i did as of five seconds ago! and god i'm gonna throw up OTL (affectionate)

i did in fact love it! a lot! way too much! i'm fucking sobbing i cannot believe it's over already 😭

TFOne will always have a special place in my heart for being the piece of media that got me into TF but i think TFP will definitely take the place of my favorite one! like. it's unfair how good it is. jesus fucking christ.

my only complaint is that this series is way too tragic. like god please let my guys have a fucking win i'm begging OTL. but even that it's not even a real complaint as much as me being so fucking sad all the time for them. especially optimus. my blorbo went through so much for so fucking long. and after everything he did, after how hard he fought, how long he tried, he still wasn't allowed to heal and learn to live again. but at least he got see megatron return to being the old friend he'd lost so long ago o(TヘTo)

it's still a great ending for a great series. i just wish he could've gotten the peace he deserved in another way.

(i am for now ignoring TFRID. if i don't see it it doesn't exist)

but yeah! tldr: i have and i do love it! 10/10, one point docked for crimes against optimus' slutty waist but restored for giving us perhaps the tastiest version of megop OTL

[swampstew]

𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓢𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓗𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓳𝓮𝓬𝓽 ~ 𝓤𝓷𝓿𝓮𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓭

October is for ghouls and treats! I am excited to announce this collaboration with my amazing friends who have graciously volunteered to help me bring some seasonal fun to the fandom. Let's have a costume contest but make it One Piece!

𝐵𝓊𝑔𝑔𝓎'𝓈 𝒮𝓅𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓉𝒶𝒸𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓇 𝒮𝓅𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁

Our favorite blorbos are being put in situations - this one being signed up for a costume contest. Every Sunday in October, 2 blogs will post their costume contest story submissions for fandom to enjoy. Dates are: October 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, and 29th. All stories will be linked back to this announcement for easy reference.

On October 29 - after the last story posts, a voting poll will be posted for fandom to vote on their favorite character's costume to "Win" the contest. The poll will run for 24 hours ONLY. Don't worry, we'll add everyone's story links to the poll too if you need a refresher before you vote!

On October 31st, the winner will be announced along with a special treat! Won't spoil what it is so you'll have to vote and see👀

Your authors:

@swampstew @quinloki @zoros-sheath @icy-spicy @writing-yarn-goblin @mew-ya @bulle-d-bulliver @sanjis-all-blue @leakyweep

Note: this collaboration was pre-planned and organized. We are not accepting requests for costumes or character suggestions. Do not harass the writers. Love your writers. Support your writers. Reblog writers' stories.

Costume Entries:

October 1: Swampstew - Eustass Kid - Slutty Sauron | Quinloki - Marco, Ace & Reader - Full Metal Alchemist October 8: Zoros-Sheath - Zoro, Kaku & Reader - Little Red Riding Hood | Sanjis-All-Blue - Diez Drake & Reader - The Princess Bride October 15: LeakyWeep - Doflamingo & Reader & Rosinante - Twilight | Icy-Spicy - Killer - The First Man October 22: Writing-Yarn-Goblin - Bartolomeo & Reader - American Gothic Painting | Mew-ya - Katakuri & Reader - Frankenstein's Monster October 29: Bulle-D-Bulliver - Kin'emon & O-tsuru & Reader & Kiku as the 4 Musketeers | Quinloki - Buggy the Red Nosed Reindeer

VOTING IS NOW LIVE

The Winner

[dead-fandom-society]

New blorbo alert and bodies spoilers ahead. Can any bodies fans here talk about how ICONIC Karl weissman is??? Holy shit. I have no idea why tumblr isn’t all over this guy yet. He’s the perfect dark murdery bastard that wears dapper suits and has slicked back hair with a slutty curl and a pencil moustache and a COCKNEY ACCENT and he is really witty and sometimes really mean I love it. The insults??? Omfg. We need men to be slutty 1940s detectives again. I love him. I am so feral for everything he does. The reluctant bachelor becomes a father figure archetype that we get for like two episodes. Can we also talk about how iconic his deaths are in the two timelines where he dies??? 1) resigns, breaks into Harker house, shoots Polly, shoots Harker/Mannix in the face (and looks so sexy while doing it) and then knows he’s about to be arrested and faces execution so he lights up a smoke and gets drunk off of Harker’s booze while waiting for the cops. Iconic. And in 2) he does the same murders but this time runs to the bar to hide the record (also asks Hasan for a pint in his carving), fires his gun in the air to get everyone out, STAYS THERE AND LIGHTS UP A CIGAR AND POURS OUT A SHOT, and refuses to come out before the police fire, literally saying “nah.” LMFAOOO. Oh my fucking god. Oh my fucking god. I could talk about his character for hours

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I'm mostly just gonna copy paste my real time conversation with @hotasfahrenheit here, with a free added bits of thoughts:

My Stand In episode 2 thoughts

I wish they translated the title song, because it's tonally confusing

I love when the makeup team adds hickeys

I definitely watched some of this second episode, but I do but remember how far I got, so I'm just rewatching all the crazy

I really need this orgasm-sneeze to be the thing that tips Ming off

I need it

Joe, baby, you've known this man for five seconds, please do not tell him where your spare key is

Ming stop being so fucking awkward challenge

Ugh, Tong is such a dick

Why does anyone hire him? He's always late, he complains about having to do his job and threatens to need weeks off if he has to do one (1) thing....

Ming: "I'm feeling jealous, so I'm gonna be petty about it and hurt Joe's feelings"

Joe: "yeah, I should've expected this"

Ming: are you bisexual (accusatory) or banging the makeup guy?

Joe: I have friends???

(Mia: Listen Ming doesn't have friends so he doesn't understand what those are

Me: oh, that's very clear. Gee, I wonder why that is 🤣)

I love that Ming dresses exclusively in $500 shirts 🤣

Wait, is this girl supposed to be set up with Ming 🤣 He's such a bitch 😆 I love him (forgot to tell with Mia about his slutty little rich asshole silk robe, but bless him and the slutty little rich asshole robe)

(Mia: Ming doesn't know how to function as a person but he does know how to look like a rich bitch)

Joe translating his anger at Ming by being hard on his trainees... Oh baby, no

He's really just "I'm asking for a friend"ed 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, I love this girl actually

Joe with the sex puns, lmao

Ming smiling and then immediately suppressing it is so sad actually

Get therapy, my dude

THE SHEETS ARE WET I AM SCREAMING

THE SNEEZES OH MY GODDD

Also, the work bathroom hook up cut with the training session was *chefs kiss* (the way this built tension and also narrative, and like, showed Joe's inner thoughts? Incredible.)

(Mia: Pepzi, our queen) FOR REALZ

He knows Joe's coffee prep

This is so domestic? (This makes me feel crazy, actually. And Joe's genuine awe at being seen in this small way breaks my fucking hearrrt)

Joe. Baby. Again, it has been five minutes and three orgasms, you cannot invite him to move in

He's being so nice to the stunt men today 😂

Ming:

The way he said Joe's name while staring at Sol like "okay bitch, watch this" killed me

He knew Joe would go to him and he wanted Sol to know real bad

Sol is ready to Fite

Listen, I knew he made him sleep on the floor OF HIS OWN HOUSE, bit it's still deeply funny to me

And then, he's just staring at him while he sleeps waiting for him to wake up so he can give him the bitchiest look known to man

Ming: *is jealous AF*

Joe: you jealous bro?

Ming: No, who would even like you?

Joe: *is the world's saddest puppy*

"sit ups break my back, live breaks my heart". Baby, no.

Lovesick Joe= drill Sergeant

Post orgasm Joe = kindergarten teacher

Sad Joe = bad poet who can't do a sit up

(Mia and I had a conversation about how sometimes, very drunk people want to be on the floor in a blanket, and she is very correct)

Wait.

...

Did Ming go home and make himself the same ramen Joe made for him? (Because he was jealous and bitchy and ran away after making the boy he likes Dad on purpose)

THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE, ACTUALLY?!

Okay, considering Ming is in love with his sister's boyfriend, they actually have a really sweet sibling dynamic, and she is actually The Best.

Why can't we go to a movie and eat fondue? Why did Thailand get movies so much better than we do? Let me watch a movie in a bed or eat fondue while I watch my favorite blorbos.

But also, he clearly just needs like, so much therapy

Like, his thought process is "I love him, no one else can have him, I'm gonna kidnap him". Which is .. Not Normal People Thoughts

"even if I could be happy, I shouldn't be"

THERAPY. THERAPY FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

Sol: " I will flirt by kicking his ass and hoping he kicks mine back"

Oh shit, Joe really just fucking knocked him out 🤣

Ming having a crisis hearing Joe talk about what love is, and then that little smile when Joe said he wanted then to be a couple... (Joe's like, pathological inability to let himself experience emotions is... Several Problems)

This man is insane

Listen, if I'm supposed to hate Ming, they shouldn't have had Up play him

NOW HE'S AT JOE'S HOUSE PLAYING HOUSE HUSBAND. (WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?)

Rip curry

It's the ramen of suppressed feelings again

JOE STOP MAKING ME CRY CHALLENGE

Look, is Ming:

LADY AND THE TRAMP AND THE GRIP YOU HAVE ON THE THAI BL INDUSTRY

They're so cute that it's actually a crime that I know Ming is a whole red flag parade

The way Joe did the cutest little "please, tell me, please please please, I wanna hear you say the things we both know (you jealous baby)" and Ming was like "yeah okay, I will hum a quiet affirmative and we will never speak of it again" was so fucking cute. I am prepared to cry and scream and have my feelings hurt, but gosh do they do this well.

Okay, I have like, real actual thoughts about this, but also I do not. I am obsessed and too deep in it right now to words, but AAAHHHHHHH

[zzoomacroom]

For the ask game: how about one each for Hob, Dream, and Death?

Oooohh, excellent ask, thanks anon!

Hob:

First impression: wow, this guy is kind of obnoxious. Cute, though.

Impression now: my sweet beloved blorbo, the love of my life, I think about him 24 hours a day

Favorite moment: 1789, just that whole scene. But especially his reaction to the drawing ("I look terrible. You look worse"), and when he breaks a teacup over that guy's head

Idea for a story: the wip I'm currently working on is about him being the last man on earth and going on a road trip with Delirium and Barnabas

Unpopular opinion: I think he probably just has an average-sized penis 🤷‍♀️

Favorite relationship: we don't see much of his canon relationships, but if we're talking non-canon then of course it’s dreamling. I also kind of like the idea of Hob/Johanna(/Dream?)

Favorite headcanon: I've posted about this before and the wonderful @delta-pavonis wrote a fic about it, but I firmly believe that in the Sandman universe, he was the inspiration for Nick Bottom. Think about it: low-born guy who always has to be the center of attention and acts like a jackass, but somehow won the queen's favor. Hob was salty because Shaxberd had Dream's attention, but Shaxberd was salty because Hob had the queen's attention.

Dream:

First impression: this dude is kind of pathetic, I desire him carnally

Impression now: my babygirl, my everything, my beautiful, ethereal, majestic, all-powerful loserboy. I love him so much 😭

Favorite moment: it's so hard to choose...in the show, I loved his battle with Lucifer and what he did to Rick Madoc (his dispassionate fury in defending Calliope was chilling). In the comics, I love all his interactions with Delirium. Also when Death throws the bread at him and it goes "bip!"

Idea for a story: um...well...don't judge me, but I have a retired!Dream mpreg fic I'm working on, which the amazing @kydrogendragon and some other lovely folks on discord (idk if they're on tumblr or i would tag them) helped me develop.

Unpopular opinion: hmm...I've seen so many opinions about him and I'm not sure which ones are considered unpopular. I think maybe he's a bit more slutty than we give him credit for, based on how he was immediately down to clown when Bast jokingly propositioned him

Favorite relationship: of his canonical relationships, I find Calliope the most interesting. For non-canon, dreamling all day every day forever. For platonic relationships: Lucienne (i just don't see them as romantic, sorry morphienne fans), Death, Delirium, Matthew

Favorite headcanon: based on recent conversations I've seen/taken part in on tumblr, I like the idea of him getting freaky with his helm (the helm stays on during sex). @tryan-a-bex wrote a great little ficlet about it

Death:

First impression: she's amazing and I love her

Impression now: she's amazing and I love her

Favorite moment: when she throws the bread at Dream. Also, not exactly canon, but in the "At Death's Door" manga by Jill Thompson I love when she teams up with Despair and Delirium and catches souls in a baseball mitt:

Idea for a story: admittedly, I don't currently have any ideas for stories with Death as a main character, but she does feature heavily in my post-apocalypse fic. I would like to see more of her days she spends as a mortal. We see some of that in "Death: The High Cost of Living," but I bet she gets up to some crazy shenanigans

Unpopular opinion: I don't think she's as perfect as a lot of people think she is. She's one of my favorite characters and I love her, but I think she's as flawed as the rest of her siblings and has her own struggles that we only get glimpses of

Favorite relationship: canonically she doesn't have any romantic relationships that readers see, but I love her relationships with her siblings, especially Dream. For ships, I kind of like the idea of her with Johanna, but I haven't explored it much

Favorite headcanon: I think she's a lesbian and nothing can dissuade me of that belief

[apoptoses]

hello it’s #VCsmuttysunday and today I’ve got a real special one for you-

In TVA Armand mentioned that Lord Harlech taught him some ‘real gutter tramp English’. But what is 15th century gutter tramp English and how would one use it in a sentence? I’m gonna show you with five great phrases Armand could degrade and humiliate his lovers with.

[disclaimer: slut is used with love here! this is for kink and not actual shaming ♥]

Salted Bitch <- this is telling someone they’re so slutty and horny they’re like a dog in heat

“Daniel, did you have any idea you arch your back like a salted bitch whenever you feel my teeth?”

Wittol <- like a cuck, but worse! A cuck doesn’t know their lover is having an affair, but a wittol sinks so low as to help their lover hook up with others!

“Daniel, do you find that man handsome? Are you so desperate you would have me be your wittol and help you take him home?”

Hairless Quean <- someone who is such a slut they had to shave themselves to get rid of any crabs they picked up on their horny adventures, a totally humiliating type of personal grooming in the 15th century when bush was in and a brazilian marked you as a trollop

“You’ll allow me to shave you, won’t you, Daniel? So that when I find you a partner tonight they’ll know you for the hairless quean you are?”

Prattling Trull <- a slut who never shuts up

“Lestat, you really are such a prattling trull. Whatever will the neighbors think, hearing you go on like that?”

Slovenly Jade <- a double insult, in that a ‘jade’ was a horse for hire should someone need to ride to the next town over. So a slovenly jade implies that the receiver is a messy slut who is happy to be sold to be fucked.

“Lick up your mess, Daniel, I won’t stand for you being some slovenly jade.”

So go forth, indulge your blorbo’s humiliation fetish and have Armand sling some 15th century slang next time they’re in bed 😌

[windsweptinred]

10 Characters/10 Fandoms /10 Tags

Thank you for the tag @two-hands-toward-the-sun, this took me on a deep delve of my fandom past! Time to roll out my gaggle of glorious bastards again...

1. Ken Ichijouji - Digimon 02

Babies first blorbo. Puppy kicking, whip weilding antagonist who giveth not a shiteth. With a soul as black as his gloriously groomed locks. Who, by the power of love is transformed into the soggiest little puddle of twink you ever did see. Tragic backstory ✔️ A smorgasbord of issues ✔️ A realtionship with their rival/best friend so obbsessive, you're going to have a harder time proving this ship isn't a thing than it is. ✔️ Ken Ichijouji came with everything a young, naive millennial needed to make their first glorious steps into the world of fandom.

2. Ryou Bakura/Yami Bakura/Theif King Bakura - (Same body, they count as one!) Yu-Gi-Oh

Ryou Bakura - Adorable British cupcake with the soul of a traumatised lovecraftian cultist. Staring into the abyss while having afternoon tea. Gothic horror in a cream knit.

Yami Bakura - Actual murder floof, the walking personification of a horror podcast. In his wake trails body gore, supernatural mystery and gay subtext. Part demon, part Egyptian theif, 100% bringing sexy back. (bonus points: Florence)

Thief King Bakura - Traumatic back story maketh homicidal rogue. Wears red, has a social circle made up of ghosts and snake monsters... Is this not prime husband material?

3. Starscream - Transformers

Darling little duplicitous second in command of the Decepticons. Not just any 'Little Shit', THE 'Little Shit'. Simulatiously the dumbest and cleverest bot in any room. And that, my friends, takes a particular breed of talent. Negative traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Postive traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Repetitive attempts to off Megatron, play of either the power or fore variety. Not sure which, could be both.

4. Darth Maul/ General Armitage Hux- Star Wars

I will not and cannot choose a favourite between them. Instead, watch with wonder and awe as I neatly compress them into the same blurb...

Sad meow meow with self-worth issues does galactic war crimes to prove 'daddy' wrong. What do you mean my fixation with thwarting my archnemeis can't be classed as a hobby/career goal/life ambition? My voice can launch a thousand ships... Different circumstances, same truth. Such a pathetic little sausage, you'll want to sit them down and feed them soup. But they know atleast 101 ways to kill you with the spoon... So best not risk it.

5. Crowley - Supernatural

The diabolical king of cunt serving. Me and my athletic calves are doing this right thing for all wrong reasons...And you can't prove other wise! Alignment: Risk it for a biscuit. Four step program to deal with all life's problems: 1: flirt at it, 2: shout at it, 3: throw (please pick your chosen Winchester or, if pushed, tailor) at it. 4:... Yell bollocks and follow with a whiskey chaser.

6. Desire/Destiny of the Endless - The Sandman

Again, not picking. Desire, my darling little hell kitten. Destiny, my inglorious bastard in brown...

This is my world, you MFs all just live in it!

My emotions... Which I do not have, are the route cause of everyone else's problems.

Ah humanity, the dust bunnies upon which I sneeze.

Even in a glorified bathrobe, I'm still better then you, and you know it.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that Dream of the Endless is a f*cking dumb ass.

7. Remy Lebeau (Gambit) - Xmen, Marvel Comics

Marvel looked at their collection of motley mutant misfits. And realised they had a morally dubious, disaster bi shaped hole to fill... And there Remy Lebeau has been for for 30 slutty, slutty years and counting. Sex in fushia pink spandex. Single handily keeping thievery in Americas top 50 kinks. Slowly exhausting the world's supply of playing cards... Must be considered a traitor to the cause atleast once a decade to keep his street cred. Must be considered a secret Summers brother atleast once a decade to keep his ego in check.

8. Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) - Batman (DC)

Scythe wielding, reigning and defending Trick or treat world champion since 1941. The physical attributes of a Giacometti sculpture with the rustic aesthetic of the folk horror genre. Grumpy old man syndrome dialed up to eleven. Pets: Craw the crow, Nightmare the raven... Edward Nygma. Built a life manifesto based on a gothic novel... Oh captain, my captain.

9. Alfie Solomons - Peaky Blinders

All hail the great arisen god of Margate. Who looked upon Tommy Shelby and called him smol. Weilds tomfuckery like a pepper spray straight up the jacksie. Views betrayal as a bonding exercise. Somewhere in his words are the the meaning of life. Still awaiting the lab results as to whether this man is the anthropomorphic personification of chaotic neutral. Not even part of the egg and spoon race. Will still manage to win with a watermelon and a novelty spork.

10. Elias Bouchard - The Magnus Archives

(art by @felix-krain and @caligosatchel)

Cluedo character brought to life by malevolent eldritch entity for sexy end of the world shinnanigans. I suspect either Proffesor Plum or Reverend Green, professional opinions vary. Maintains the inability to move more than one square at a time when enacting nefarious schemes. Still has a preference for homicide by kitchenware. Comes with all the British, arch dilf energy of an Agatha Cristie villain. Taking the horrors from the hands of privileged elite and unleashing them on unsuspecting white collar workers. Eye, chin and tits first.

Whelp, that's my ten fictional characters/fandoms. Men folk (and Desire) addition. When I say I like them on the morally grey dulux colour chart. I'm not exaggerating. 😅

I'm tagging, at your pleasure @mashumaru @aisalynn @bobbole @tickldpnk8 @writing-for-life @marvagon @missingrache @rriavian @jazzy-a and @ibrithir-was-here