#and I just I can't keep fighting it
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I need to get out of here before I kill myself
#I'm so tired of being belittled#I've noticed I have such a warped idea of who I really am#I'm just constantly treated like I'm dumb and ugly and absolutely everything else you can think of#and I just I can't keep fighting it#I keep talking to myself#I feel fucking insane repeating to myself I'm pretty I'm smart I'm stronger than myself every day#and I hate that everytime I gather the strength to say it out loud I just hear a snarky remark about how untrue it is#by the ppl that are supposed to love no less#and I get out of here and ppl are kind and tell you're this you're that#only for it to be reckoned as soon as I come back#this house is killing me
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woag .. otp
#fma#royai#riza hawkeye#roy mustang#talking to user chrysopoeias reminded me of this doodle i posted on twitter ages ago#im too dumb to make analysis textposts with my opinions so you get (checks notes) royai experiencing post nut clarity#about how funny i think it is that riza bases all her self value into how useful she is or isn't being#while roy is like wow.. i love riza can't believe she still by my side after all i've done ..#in the hospital scene after the lust fight where roy is scolding her there's a part he says he's going to keep trusting her with his back#and she looks genuinely surprised as if she really expected him to just throw her out because she failed and lost her utility#when he's mostly angry because riza gave up on life so easily and he doesn't want her to die. he can't live in a world without her#riza babe ur so mentally ill <3
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invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)
[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."
Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”
Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.
At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.
"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.
Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”
Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."
In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]
Credits for ID here and here
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because#it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has#given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably#since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc#of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:)#in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun#but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots#he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at#the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is.#mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax#but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe#the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww#u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww#ruporas art
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meme redraw ft captain hunnicuck
the thing about hawkahy is i think it presents a wonderful character development opportunity for beej once he accepts that his waifish wifeable roommate picked a shorter, sweeter, quieter, poorer partner over the big man on campus who took him for granted enough to punch him in the face and then act like nothing happened, because it turns out hawkeye values honesty and empathy over whatever the hell is going on with bj. maybe eating his own heart out is the first step to getting over himself
#this one goes out to the Beejdunking Brigade#i want bj to get better but i know he's just going to keep fighting it forever. if a warzone can't kill his ego idk what possibly could#peg takes the house and kid and dog and bj goes to maine as his backup plan and is greeted by mulcahy looking happier than ever#maybe then-- MAYYYYBE-- he can finally realize that there are consequences to shitting where you eat#art#mash#m*a*s*h#hawkahy#hawkeye pierce#father mulcahy#meme redraw
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as much as ridiculous he is, I appreciate Pen who found me passed out after 3 AM in the middle of desert & brought me home
a l s o, smart kid fhsdhdhsh
#fsdhdh i literally forgot the kid was there in the first place he really knows how to not get tangled up in adults fight#my time at sandrock#mtas#mtas pen#mtas logan#mtas builder#mtas andy#mtas unsuur#mtas justice#i broke up with unsuur just so i can read his friend status dialogues#HE IS TOO BORING WITH ONLY HIS ROMANCE LINES like HE HARDLY TALKS ABOUT HIMSELF ANYMORE#he is already very flat THE ROMANCE LINES ONLY MAKE HIM INCREDIBLY FLATTER THAN FLAT#even Pen ENDED UP MORE INTERESTING to listen to THAN UNSUUR FHSDH#i keep thinking the way unsuur runs or holds our hand and walks LOOKS LIKE TOYSTORY WOODY FSHDHSH#h e l p that man#Logan really lock on target on us SCARY fshdshd#he can't be fooled he knows the game will be over if he ends us first fhsdshd
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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what's weird about the fantasy high drama is that like. it seems to me like people forget d&d is primarily a) a game you play with your friends and also b) luck based.
I mean it's fine to say that "nothing felt like a challenge" and "they just dominated everything and there weren't any stakes" but like. it's not as if they weren't up against huge threats. they lost the mall fight. the last stand was an onslaught of enemies. they fought a dozen dragons from an airship. the fights were hard. they're just really good. they've had very good dice luck in general this season and are all very high level and highly specialized. fig is gonna beat deception and performance checks. adaine's gonna figure out the arcana. riz is gonna succeed investigations. like. for some reason their strategical competence and wisely picked abilities are. a downside? a disappointment?
the thing about d&d that you need to remember is it's first and foremost a game. it's mostly random and it takes you down weird paths and you're playing to have fun with your friends. the dice are literally telling the story that it's their time, it's their year. they've struggled enough. they've trained enough. they're good at what they do. and in my post about the academic/domestic/personal stressors being the focus, d&d doesn't have any other system to work them out than rolling different skills. that's what d&d is. brennan set specific challenge levels for different tasks and the players strategized to prioritize which abilities they were strongest in. the challenges were there. and the players rose to them. they were both smart in their delegation of responsibilities and lucky with their dice rolls. of which, both are foundations of d&d.
don't mistake them being good players and getting lucky with there being no hardship. just because they smashed through the wall, that doesn't mean the wall wasn't strong. they were just stronger.
#i know some people are disappointed from a storytelling perspective. but you have to understand.#what was brennan supposed to do. he threw things at them both at and above their challenge level#he created a whole system to simulate academic and person goals and stress throughout the year#he gave them plenty of chances to fail#he set DCs high.#the players just knocked it out of the park#you can't tell any story but the ones the dice want you to#if he had manufactured more danger or difficulty where there was none it would have felt cheap#and do you not remember the night yorb fight#like. the whole point of the year was that it wasn't hard. it just never stopped#they can do it they're capable they're smart. but the hustle and the stress and the fighting and the working never ends#that's why nothing 'had stakes' or 'felt challenging'#it's the slog that gets you. it's how long you're willing to keep going.#how much life can break you almost to your last breath but you get through it and you keep going anyway#but. i digress.#and i say all this with complete and total respect to other people's opinions#i feel no hate and wish no bad feelings on anyone who disagrees with this!#it's just my personal view on the whole thing#sorry if im being annoying i just have. opinions.#fantasy high#d20#dimension 20#fhjy
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DP x DC Prompt #43
Cujo was a good boy. He was! He promises! He just didn't want to sit still when Danny asked him to. How could he! There were so many scents to explore, so many spirits around, too many things to do to sit still!
Unfortunately, Cujo got lost. And scared. It's a big city, and he was told he wasn't allowed to turn big and go on a rampage or else he wouldn't get to go on trips with Danny anymore. So he wanders, trying to get back to where he was.
Then, a young boy runs across Cujo. He speaks softly, is kind, and doesn't seem off put by his abnormal coloring. So, Cujo decides to go with the boy! Danny won't be that mad ... right?
#finemeal prompt#dp x dc#cujo dp#dp cujo#cujo#damian wayne#damian has his father's adoption habits#but with animals instead of people#can't stop won't stop#damian sees a lost animal#and is like#“this animal is now mine”#batman can't stop him#especially if damian instructs cujo to stay hidden while he tries to convince his father to let him keep another animal#and cujo just straight up turns invisible#damian would think cujo would make an excellent companion in crime fighting#damian can and will fight danny for custody over cujo#cujo who comes and goes as he pleases#damian is fighting for custody#and danny's like. i didn't even know i HAD custody#damian is just mad cujo prefers danny over damian#sorry damian danny's got senority#you can still hang out with him though#cujo will love you with all his heart
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uncle cody took leia shopping while obi wan was at work
bonus:
#art by hyung#codywan#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#leia organa#i just thought obi wan needed something to keep his hair out of his face before he has lightsaber fights#the man can't see
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Rangi just doesn't....have any rights in this house. u_u
#featuring sneak peaks of gremlin!Rangi animation :D#the one with glowing eyes has been around since april.....that ikki animation.....tbh I just put it on hold it's a lot TT0TT#rangi#rangi sei'naka#rangi seinaka#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#chronicles of the avatar#silly draws#silly edits#also a sneak peak of the gremlin!rangi's I drew during a meeting#she's pathetic your honor! ;w; I love putting her in situations~! uwu#i'm rangi's biggest bully#kirima has to fight me for that crown jksaljf#It's either this or immortal!rangi angst she can't escape#i wonder if people have connected the dots with one of these pictures#bully rangi hours#bullying rangi hours is 24 horus a day 7 days a week uwu#gotta keep her humble *pray emoji*#oh wow the draw/edit ratio is exactly 50/50! go me! \TT0TT/
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Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.
He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.
That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).
Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.
50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"
Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.
They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.
This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.
Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.
#iwtv#iwtv character analysis#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand#loumand#amc iwtv#iwtv s2#iwtv season 2#don't be afraid just start the tape#Gotta feel bad for Louis for winding up falling in love again with someone ruled so much by their own undealt with shit#making him once again the victim of abuse for it#But at least I guess Lestat values his independence? And Louis to an extent.#Theres a lot less co-dependancy going on between them but it's still like ... there#I'm so serious tho when I say I really want IWTV to go in the direction of 'vampires all dealing with their shit and breaking generational#cycles of abuse' because THATS so IT too me. That's the juice tbh.#because a thing with immortality is that you can't partition away from dealing with shit through knowing you or someone is going to die#You have to confront it you're forced to or else its just FOREVER literally going to be there#Louis (or really Claudia) being the first to really confront that (chef kiss)#which is an interesting thing to depict because technically we all carry the burden of eternity w/in us. Our impact on the world lasts and#what violence we allow in the world without fighting or working against it will never change either.#We have to confront the truth and find reconciliation with all of it or it is just without end there is no bottom to it#theres a lot of discussion on it but I think Louis considers himself a survivor. He's lived to this point and will keep living.#He probably cares too much about the why he ends up a victim (the undealt with shit he can't blame them for) to admit otherwise that he is#Too an extent too he cares and loves the people he's been with to really view it that way. But also this survivor perspective is very#'immortality' accepting. Naming a victim sort of is like naming a kind of death that can't go on from there.#Might make these tags into their own post at some point
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Previous // Next
Oscar: So… [Robin sighed dramatically; he could’ve guessed where this was going even if he wasn’t privy to his father’s thoughts] Oscar: What’re you gonna do, sue me for not believing you? Robin: [snorts] He’s not bothering me, dad. Oscar: So, why don’t you talk to him-.. or anyone else at school for that matter. Robin: People don’t usually care what you’re saying, they’re just waiting for their turn to talk. Oscar: C’mon, not everyone’s like that. Robin: Okay.. but what if they don’t like what you say? Like, I say something and they think – oh, that was weird – and then I’m like, wow I wish I hadn’t said that and it’s super awkward and cringe. [Robin fiddled with his fingers, intent on convincing Oscar that anxiety was the culprit. It was easier than explaining the truth; that he could barely think straight amongst everyone else’s thoughts, that couldn’t be arsed, didn’t see the point, found people boring, yada yada] Oscar: Y’know people don’t usually think that whilst you’re talking, right? It’s mostly in our own heads. Robin: Okay, dad. Oscar: Wow, can’t imagine where you get that sarcasm from… Robin: ‘Course not… They do though-.. think that, y’know. Oscar: I think that’s just the social anxiety talking, spud. Robin: And? Oscar: And, you’ve gotta work on your fear-… Robin: It’s not a fear, it’s a fact. [Oscar rolled his eyes as Robin sloped off; it was like arguing with himself] Oscar: Robin… Robin: See, you didn’t like my response so.. point proven, huh? [Robin hovered by the doorframe, wearing a smirk so similar to his own that Oscar couldn’t help but chuckle fondly] Oscar: Tch, get outta here! Robin: Love you, byeeeee. Oscar: [snort laughs] Love you too, bud.
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#oscar finch#robin finch#ksdjskdj#are we feeling any sympathy toward sid yet mr oscar??#your son snakes his way out of your concerned little talks before u even realised it?? neverrrr.. where'd he get that from#ahahhadskj#😂#it must be so tiresome for robin tho.. wanting to fight off everyone's concern all the time#but at the same time realising it's preferable/easier for ppl to think it's just anxiety ough#he can't just turn around n be like oh i hear/see too much and my brain hurts and most ppl aren't worth talking to anyway so.. ✌#like.. i don't think i'd wanna be around someone too much if i knew they could hear/see/feel everything i did#can't blame the guy for keeping it to himself
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What's so funny about Jinx smelling Vander's jacket to me is not even that it's inconsistent with the story at this point (i. e. Vander is alive so there is no reason for her to smell his jacket, plus she didn't have a close relationship with him anyway), but because we already had a coat for her to interact with that was established IN SEASON 1 FINALE. SHE TOOK SILCO'S COAT OFF OF HIM. WHERE DID IT GO????? And most importantly why Jinx doesn't care about it at all despite her still coming to his office to "talk" with him? Like. You would think that Jinx, who still keeps keepsakes of her lost loved ones, would take some of Silco's things to remind her of him, but nah. We need a stupid thing with Vander and Silco's jackets where she doesn't even properly interact with the right one.
#also it's a personal pet peeve of mine that they should've given Jinx his cravat. because it represents his trauma (being strangled by a-#close person) and how he's coping with it this way. showing that nobody can do this to him again. but then Jinx kills him and. yeah#albeit unintentionally but it's just a throughline with Silco that he always suffers the most at the hands of the people he loves the most#so if jinx took it it would both serve as a keepsake and a reminder of what he's gone through and that despite thas he never gave up#and that she must keep fighting as well. no matter for who of what. the main thing she should always remember is to fight and survive no#matter how badly you were hurt or by whom. your goals your love and who you are at your core shouldn't change no matter what#keep going. keep fighting. keep being yourself my dear daughter because you are perfect#and yeah his coat should've been implemented in her design too you can't imagine how pissed off i was when i saw her costume and blimp at#the end of s2. yeah yeah screw me specifically i guess whatever#arcane critical#arcane season 2#arcane#silco arcane#silco#jinx arcane#silco and jinx#upd: oh yeah i forgot. taking his cravat from him would also mean that despite his efforts to nevel let his affections for others hurt him-#he still couldn't control this because. well. you can't really choose how much you love someone and trust someone. it just happens#it would add so much sauce and flavor to his tragedy#guuyyyys i'm insane about themmmm
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As much as I enjoy picking apart and having Emotions TM about Little's many low points - his failures and the indignities he suffers at the hands of fate and his fellow man - that darkness just can't hit the same unless you consider the light too (and I think many out there do fail to consider that light).
He isn't compelling to me just by how many times he gets knocked down, he's compelling for the fact that he gets back up again.
#I've said it 1000 times before but it always bears repeating - if ever there was an explorer made of hope it's Little#He's always moving forward - hoping and trying at every turn to do what he thinks is right despite it all#(And to be clear I'm not saying that he always succeeds or that he always does the right thing)#(Doing what he thinks it right is not always the same as doing what is right objectively)#I dunno#It does just chap my nips sometimes to see that side of him willfully ignored when there's so much more nuance to be found#'sad weak wet paper bag of a man who can't do anything right and folds at the slightest provocation'#LIKE NO#He takes everything life can throw at him and he keeps moving the fuck forward - fighting against impossible odds until his final breath#He's the very last of nearly 130 men left standing ffs if that's not strength I don't know what is!#Ok rant over I'm normal now#The Terror#The Terror AMC#Edward Little
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see everyone worried and fretted and panicked and yet quesadilla island looked at pepito and went
#qsmp#qsmp pepito#this post is not about roier's parenting i PROMISE you don't need to defend your cubito#this is literally about pepito being bobbled between caretakers#bad etoiles foolish forever bagi pac and more that i just haven't seen#just. people who have shown an interest and desire to hang out with pepito and keep pepito safe#pepito went to find parents and look!! look!!!#listen. listen. to me the qsmp is about love. not mystery not roleplay not drama not plot.#the qsmp is at its ABSOLUTE best when it is People Talking To Each Other#purgatory was AMAZING for me as a bolas viewer bc if bolas was in the server THEY WERE IN A CALL they were CONSTANTLY talking and i THRIVED#people adopting each other into their fake families in the most middle school childlike wondrous form of love there is#when you like your friend so much they're your fake spouse. your fake child. your fake parent. your fake sibling.#eggs and parents that's LOVE tubbo and fred that's LOVE tazercraft and walter bob that's LOVE; cellbit and roier; phil and missa#baghera and bad and forever; bad and bagi; pierre and maxo; maxo and EVERYTHING his son his daughter his partner the theory bros#favela six that's LOVE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SERVER EVEN ELENA WHO WE'VE KNOWN FOR AN HOUR IS ABOUT LOVE. HER PARTNER IS HER DRIVE.#jaiden's story is driven by LOVE the hole from the love of her son and chasing cucurucho's 'love' in return it's LOVE it's UNDERSTANDING#there's so much love and i'm biased to my povs but holy shit i will repeat it until y'all roll your eyes seeing me on the dash#like NOT THIS ANIME POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT AGAIN no i'm right u can't fight me#block game brainrot#shut up vic
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tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.
but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.
#qsmp neg#qsmp crit#discourse#<- for blacklists#im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight#and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense#its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses#so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter#but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy#and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one#and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over#and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear#and it starts getting messy#but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition#and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it#but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun'#then i think there are ways to build better win conditions#anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes#jk im too busy to apply#but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it
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