#and I hope all my fellow Americans are doing their best to take care of themselves today

[disappointeddyke]

We’re fucked

[darl-ings]

midnight radio | jeon wonwoo

pairing: wonwoo x reader

genre: fluff, college au

warnings: none

word count: 2390

summary: in which you are a new host for your school’s midnight radio broadcast and wonwoo makes a call to the show

a/n: this has been in my drafts since 2021…

“Good evening, everyone. Welcome to KU’s Midnight Radio. The song you just heard was Sabrina Carpenter’s Bed Chem. I’m Y/N, your host for this semester. As you may know, Midnight Radio is usually hosted by Soonyoung Kwon, or DJ Hoshi, our favorite eccentric dance major, but he’s studying abroad in Japan right now, so I’m here to host the show for him until he comes back in January. 

“You know, I’m actually not that nervous right now, even though I’m alone. I don’t know if any of you know me, but I hosted the show with DJ Hoshi and DJ Hong for a bit during last fall semester. I had a great time since I got to chat with my fellow peers during the late hours of the night. By the way, I hope you’re all having a good night so far. The first week has been really hectic for me, so I’m sure it was for a lot of you too. Make sure to get some rest. After the show, of course.”

You winked at the camera filming you, watching as the comments of the show’s Twitch stream began flooding in. You leaned forward, squinting your eyes to read them.

“Welcome, welcome. I see a few song requests, so I’ll make sure to play some of those later. Does anyone want to have a chat? The number is in the pinned comment if you guys want to talk. I get it if you don’t want to though. I’m having a pretty good time by myself.”

It took only a few moments for the phone to light up next to the laptop. A grin appeared on your face as you reached out to answer it, pressing the speaker button before leaning back to get comfortable in your chair. 

“Name and social security number please,” you joked, crossing your arms over your chest as you smiled over to the camera.

“Wonwoo, 738203830,” the voice answered back, causing you to gasp.

“Did anyone get that? Surely someone wrote that down,” you asked, grinning happily as you leaned forward to read through the flood of comments. “Some people caught that number, Wonwoo. Anything to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry to Kim Mingyu for outing his social security number,” the person stated, his seriousness making you laugh. The person on the phone chuckled too. “It’s not his actual number, by the way.”

“I’d hope not. If we’re thinking of the same Kim Mingyu, I’m positive he wouldn’t let you live another second if you gave that information away,” you laughed again, thinking about your good friend, Mingyu. 

“You’re right. Do you know him? Tall, good cook, thinks he’s good looking?”

“I do, but I’m not going to fuel his already big ego by talking about him during the show.”

“Good idea.”

“So, Wonwoo. Tell us about yourself. Anything interesting going on?” you asked, anticipating the stranger’s answer. Wonwoo hummed to himself in thought.

“My name is Wonwoo. I live off-campus with a few of my friends, Mingyu included. My major is--”

“Sorry to cut you off, Wonwoo, but if I have another awkward conversation about majors my head might explode. I said tell me something interesting! What are you doing right now?”

“Oh thank God, I wasn’t ready to have someone ask what classes I take and why I choose KU as my school. I hate when they ask that, by the way. Why do they care so much?” he questioned, making you chuckle.

“They don’t care. They’re just trying to fill the awkward silence with an awkward question.”

“Right. Well, what am I doing right now? Hm, I’m in my room watching your stream and talking to you. Mingyu’s cooking ramen for our other roommate Vernon, so I might steal some of it when he’s done making it.”

“It’s the right thing to do. But also, why are they cooking so late? It’s 11:30pm right now.”

“Vernon skipped dinner to go to the Asian-American club meeting. He’s one of the club leaders so he had a lot to do tonight.”

“That’s the best club on campus, by the way,” you pointed out to the camera. “Anyway, did you want to talk about anything, Wonwoo?”

“Hmm, let me think of something interesting. Should I ask an academic or existential question?” he asked, your eyebrows furrowing as you thought. 

“While I do love existential questions, I think since it's the end of the first week of school, we should talk about academic things. Don’t make it boring though. Maybe some advice?”

“Advice is a bit boring though…”

“I could just ask the next caller…”

“How do you get close to your peers?” Wonwoo quickly asked, making the smile on your face soften. “I mean, maybe we could give a few tips on making friends?” he suggested. You nodded along, clapping your hands gently.

“I like that, yeah. I know a lot of people, including myself, who had or are currently having a hard time getting close to others. Are you the same, Wonwoo?”

“I am.”

“Really? You don’t seem like it. We’ve had a good conversation so far, I think.”

“Yeah, but it’s easier to talk when you’re not face-to-face with the person, you know?”

“That’s true. Maybe that’s why I feel so comfortable talking to a stranger right now.”

“Maybe… Look, I know we said we weren’t going to talk about Mingyu, but he’s a good example for our question. He’s a talkative person, right?”

“Very talkative.”

Wonwoo laughed. “I met him halfway through my sophomore year. He was a freshman but he was more popular than anyone I knew. He came up to me in the cafeteria when I was eating alone and just struck up a conversation with me. I���m surprised he didn’t stop talking to me after that since I was very quiet and gave him short answers. He’s my best friend now, so I’ve witnessed a lot of encounters when he just goes up to someone randomly and talks to them. We went to the grocery store earlier today and he just started a conversation with a worker in the bread aisle…” Wonwoo paused for a few moments, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “I guess I’ve always wanted to have his voice. Not like–not his actual voice, but his ability to talk to anyone and keep them interested.”

You hummed at Wonwoo’s words, eyes on the comments as you spoke. “It seems a few listeners have friends like this too. But, yeah, I get it. My friend Yuqi is very extroverted as well. I wish I could make friends as easily as her, but also, I can tell it’s exhausting for them to talk so much. I don’t know about Mingyu, but Yuqi comes back to our apartment after a party and immediately crashes. She pushes herself to talk to all these people, but it just tires herself out. I’m sure if I tried to be that extroverted, I would probably die.”

“Same. I remember after my freshman orientation week, I slept for twenty-seven hours straight. I was going to sleep for more, but my roommate at the time called the on-campus police saying he thought I was dead.”

“Twenty-seven hours? Jeez, you practically were dead! But seriously, talking to people is so exhausting. Especially during freshman orientation! The amount of people I talked to during then was more than I’ve talked to in my entire life.”

“Of all those people I met, I only talk to one of them today. All of it was pretty pointless, but I’ve heard some people meet their best friends during that first week.”

“Yeah, I met a few of mine during then too. But, anyway, back to the question. How do you get close to people? Well, my advice is to remember that whatever you’re insecure about, whether it's your personality, your body, whatever, it does not matter. When you’re meeting someone, don’t focus on the negative things, like if you’re making a fool of yourself or if you look bad. No one cares that much, and if they do, they aren’t a good friend.”

“This is why it took me so long to make friends. I always felt that no one was listening to me when I spoke, so I convinced myself that I had nothing important to say. But my friends now teach me that my voice matters. Vernon especially. He doesn’t talk much, to begin with, but when he does everyone focuses on him, because we care about what he has to say. And when I talk, everyone looks at me and I feel like they’re listening.”

“That’s important, by the way! Make eye contact when you’re speaking with people. I feel so shitty when people aren’t looking at me while I’m talking. I always trail off and just stop talking. Make eye contact, and don’t multitask when someone is talking to you. It’s rude.”

“Don’t get me started on that. I hate when people are doing other things during a conversation, especially if we’re talking about something deep or important. And I really hate when people don’t listen to me after I just listened to them.”

“Please, everyone, listen when people talk. My self-esteem gets so low when people don’t listen to what I have to say. So please, listen to people and be active in the conversation.”

“Being active in the conversation is really important.”

“Exactly. So, in conclusion, listen, be active, and make eye contact. If you make people feel good while you’re talking, they’ll want to talk to you more,” you stated while pointing at the camera with a stern look on your face. You heard Wonwoo chuckle, causing your hand to falter. “Why are you laughing?”

“You’re just cute,” he answered simply, causing a blush to spread across your cheeks. You looked away from the camera, suddenly feeling very shy. “Wow, really? All it took was calling you cute to stop you from talking?”

“It caught me off guard,” you whined slightly, hiding your face with your hands. Wonwoo laughed at your reaction, causing a wide smile to fall on your lips. You removed your hands from your face, smiling at the phone. “Did Mingyu finish making the ramen?” you asked, resting your arms on the table. 

“Yeah, a while ago.”

“What? Why didn’t you go eat it?”

“Because I was talking to you. But I should go now. I think they’re watching Single’s Inferno without me.”

“Alright, Wonwoo,” you pouted slightly, sighing as you traced your finger on the table’s wood. 

“Don’t sound so disappointed, Y/N,” Wonwoo chuckled softly. It was embarrassing how easily a stranger could make your cheeks redden. The conversation with Wonwoo was the best one you’ve had in a while, and you were sad to end the call.

“I’m not,” you denied, sitting up to scoot closer to your laptop. You read through a few comments before speaking up. “The people don’t want you to leave.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you answered, reading a few more comments. “Someone said you should co-host the show with me,” you giggled.

“That sounds fun. Maybe I’ll look into it for you.”

“Don’t be cheesy,” you muttered with a smile, switching your laptop tabs from the Twitch stream to your Spotify. “Before you go, any song requests?” you asked, trying not to sound sad as you spoke. Wonwoo hummed in thought.

“I’ve been listening to SUHO’s album recently, Self-Portrait?”

“I love that album,” you smiled.

“It’s really good. Could I request a song from it?”

“Of course.”

“Okay… maybe, Let’s Love,” Wonwoo suggested, your heart doing a million flips as you typed the song into the search bar. 

“I’ll make sure to play it next. Thank you for this lovely conversation, Wonwoo. Eat well tonight and get some rest,” you stated. “Tell Mingyu to make me ramen sometime, too.”

“Will do. Thanks for talking with me, Y/N. Goodnight, sleep well after the show.”

The line ended shortly after, a sad smile resting on your face. You sighed, looking back to the camera with a wider smile. 

“Now, I will be playing Wonwoo’s song request. It’s one of my favorites off the mini-album, Self-Love. This is Let’s Love, by EXO’s SUHO.”

You held two more shows on Saturday and Sunday night, silently wishing Wonwoo would call again. You had good conversations with other students, but none were as riveting as the one you had with Wonwoo. It was probably easy to search him up, and you contemplated doing so during your free period between classes on Monday as you sat in the campus cafe with Yuqi across from you. Your finger hovered over the Instagram search button, where you had typed in Wonwoo’s name, but to avoid being a creep, you exited out of the app and placed your phone on the table.

“Dude, found your mystery man,” Yuqi spoke up, causing you to nearly spit out your drink. You looked up at her, raising your eyebrows in confusion.

“What?”

“Wonwoo, that guy you talked to during the show on Friday. He’s in Mingyu’s recent post. They went to some water park,” Yuqi stated, still scrolling through her phone. “They all have really good bodies…” she trailed off, staring dreamily at her screen.

“Are you not going to show me?” you questioned, leaning forward to look at her phone. She giggled at your eagerness, turning her phone to face you.

In the photo, Mingyu was standing next to three other guys, including Minghao, who was a partner of yours in your Photography class. You tapped on the picture, revealing the tags of the others standing with them. There was a person tagged vernon_98, who you immediately identified as the Vernon that Wonwoo talked about during your call. Which meant, the other person tagged as everyone_woo was Wonwoo.

You blinked at the picture, taking in the visuals of your mystery caller. You noted his black hair and his glasses which made him look surprisingly good. You blushed slightly at how the wet suit he wore was tight against his muscles, revealing his large biceps and pecs. He held up a peace sign, your eyes trailing to his hand. He was so incredibly handsome, and you just had a conversation with him like it was nothing. 

“Oh my God,” you muttered. “He’s hot?!”

[playbarbies]

this grief is unlike anything i’ve ever experienced before. i had a major breakdown at 3AM, and i think most people would have thought someone died with how agonized the cries were. but something did die. democracy died. hope died. my faith in my country died. as a disabled queer jew with a reproductive system, i have never been so terrified, both for myself and those i care about, and so disappointed. to my fellow americans, i am so sorry, and i am here for you. my IM’s are open if you need/want to talk. i love you all, please try and do nice things and silly distractions for yourself today. take care of yourself as best you can, and i’m here for you always.

[writingwisterias]

Could I request Piers nivans x European BSAA captain? Where they’re in some way romantic. I don’t know how but let just your creativity run.

As a fellow Brit...I've done this with a British Reader! In mind. Even though us fellow Brits aren't part of the EU anymore...let's not get political tho 👀 I hope you enjoy it! ~ Mads ❤️

You both met on a mission where he was sent to the UK to help clear up a new lab that was recently found. The two of you instantly click and find comfort as you face the living nightmares together.

However like all things your time together came to an end but you kept in contact mainly using Facebook to message (don't hate me there wasn't many options to Dm back in 2012😭)

Eventually he plans to surprise you, booking a spontaneous trip to the UK during winter. Where you proceeded to drag him to all of the winter events

Boy did he pack wrong though! Nothing could have prepared him for the British rain during the winter months. Ended up buying a large coat and other things to keep warm, using you as his stylist

Treat you to dinner at your favourite and expensive restaurants...falling in love with all the British takeaways as well

Lots of movie nights with snugging - this is where you finally admit your feelings for each other

A night full of the best sex you have ever had (I know he's secretly a kinky bastard)

Whilst he's on this trip you are both planning a trip to America, looking online at all the things you could both do whilst you are there

He spoils you rotten, buying to gifts or pretty much anything you touch

When you fly to America he's treating you like a princess, taking you to his favourite restaurants not even caring about the price

He would lay out a red carpet in front of you if he could

Find your accent alluring and hot af (yes even the northern accents 😉)

Once you had been together for a while he offers you to move in, understanding it's a big change and you might need to think it through first

Practically has a heart attack when you agree before you finish the sentence

Constant arguments over what things are called "honey have you washed all my pants?" "No there's some in your drawer with the socks" "no no that's underwear" "Ohhhh you mean trousers! Yes they were all dirty"

You cook for him all the time after being disgusted by the state of American cuisine

Teaching him how to make a proper tea after he absolutely fails the first one he's ever made you

Making him watch British Television with you constantly (Strictly Come Dancing is secretly his favorite)

Mimics your accent if you begin to irritate him

[male-reader-haven]

~That Horrible, Wonderful Feeling~

Author note:

Here is chapter 1 of the project I've been working so long on!! I'm super passionate about this storyline, so I'm hoping you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. As of right now, I have about 4 chapters completed, and depending on how well this is received I plan on posting them as well. Enjoy your Namjoon crumbs, there is SO much more to come!

Chapter 1: Ideal Woman

Namjoon's POV as he deals with prying reporters, stalkers, and some unwarranted feelings that send him spiraling. How can he claim to know and protect his fellow members if he doesn't even know himself? Y/N, one of 8 members of the worldwide popular K-pop boyband BTS, slowly helps Namjoon along in his journey of self-discovery and acceptance, dealing with his own feelings along the way.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x male idol Y/N

TW: Stalking, internalized homophobia, heavier topics, invasion of privacy, slight NSFW, 18+

Word count: 2801

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Now, RM, the fans are dying to know. What are your ideal traits in a girl?” The interviewer smiled and held out the microphone towards Namjoon expectantly. The camera pans over to his face and he forces a smile and glances down.

What a stupid fucking question. 

He is so tired of being asked the same questions. Although he knew it was bound to happen due to BTS being worldwide famous idols, still, indulging reporters and tabloids who are constantly hungry for new content and scandals to feed their prying gossipers is so exhausting.

“Ah, well, you know, we all are focusing on our career and don’t have time for anything like that.” He avoids the question, hoping the reporter will drop it. She doesn’t catch on. She has a smile that is too wide and obviously faked. Honestly, Namjoon is pretty sure this american interviewer doesn’t even really know BTS too well or even listen to their music.

“Come on, everyone has a type. ARMY wants to know what kind of woman is RM’s type?” 

As if you can speak for ARMY.

“Why do you care?” Namjoon snaps. He surprises himself with his response and immediately follows it up. “I-I mean, it doesn’t really matter. As long as they love and accept me, I guess.” He saves it the best he can. The interviewer stares him down.

“Awe, how sweet. Well before you go Namjoon, we just gotta know! There have been rumors going around that you secretly have a girlfriend! Is it true? Should we be expecting an announcement soon?” As she speaks, pictures flash across the screen of Namjoon caught in the street taking pictures with a fan. Namjoon feels frustration bubble up, not only at the accusation but at the lack of privacy and how the tabloids must have been following him around taking pictures.

“Wow. Really? Shameless.” He loses his patience. “I don’t appreciate being followed and stalked everywhere I go, you know. She is a fan and we took a picture. Sorry I couldn't satisfy your gossip.” He can’t stop himself. “Do you guys really get paid for this? Pushing this  scummy, heteronormative agenda on celebrities hoping for a sliver of drama just so you can get a few clicks in by exaggerating and lying? We are people too, just like you. Normal people. So no, you don't get to make assumptions about me or pry into my life.”

“Heteronormative? Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” The woman interjects. Namjoon is fuming.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Namjoon gets up and storms away from the lit up booth and over to his staff, who briskly apologize to the interviewer and team and take him back to the studio.

Namjoon knows he went too far. Luckily his agent made sure that the interview would be scrapped and not published, but that is now an entire news group that BigHit won’t ever get an interview with again. Honestly they didn’t need the extra publicity, since at this point any company would be more than ecstatic to host an interview from BTS, but this was supposed to be a series of solo interviews from each of the artists, which would have no doubt been popular. Still, he didn't feel bad. Too many times have people asked BTS questions about their private lives and tried exposing them with false accusations and start scandals, none of which ever stick due to ARMY being so protective of them, but it took a toll on their mental health sometimes. Namjoon sinks into the back seat of the car as he looks out the window, listening to the patter of rain on the roof and watching the street lights reflect off the dripping window. 

My ideal woman, huh?

He reflects. Everywhere he goes where people ask him these questions, they always say “ideal girl” or “woman,” always assuming he is straight. I mean, he IS straight, but it bothers him nonetheless. It’s not like anyone bothers to ask, they always just assume. He knows that people just want to hear him talk about specific traits and types to fulfill people’s fantasies. It seems people also assume that all ARMYs are straight fangirls. It’s 2023, how are people still pushing heteronormative standards? He takes out his phone to see new messages in the BTS group chat.

WWH: How’d the interview go?

Namjoon sighed and typed out his response.

Me: Horribly. Pretty sure I ruined it for   all of us, sorry guys. JK: How so?  Me: I lost it and kind of snapped V: Dang, sounds like they deserved it then.  No worries man, probably for the best Me: Stupid private questions. I got  too pissed though, it is my fault, but still Y/N: Ew, don’t they have anything better to do? Jimin: Fr. Don’t feel bad, I would have  been short tempered too J-hope: Does this mean we have a free  weeknd? WWH: Nice spelling J-hope: thx dad JK: Hell yeah, let's do a movie night! (read by SUGA, WWH, J-hope, and 4 others)

Namjoon puts his phone away and looks out the window again. 

“Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” 

The woman’s words echo in his head longer than he would have liked. Namjoon has always liked women, that he is certain of. Ever since he was little he had crushes on disney princesses and actresses all the time. He had his fair share in heartbreaks and girlfriends in school too. Ever since becoming an idol, however, everything relating to romance seems to have left his life and been put in the back of his mind. He knows it's because they are idols that they aren't allowed to publicly date. That isn’t to say however that he didn't fantasize about having a partner or being in a romantic relationship. Despite BTS being his family and never truly being alone, he couldn’t help feeling lonely in some ways. These days, Namjoon finds himself stuck in his room working even in his free time. Maybe this weekend becoming suddenly free would be a blessing after all.

Namjoon walks into what he and BTS know as the “safehouse,” which is a large home away from the city where all 8 members have access at all times and their own separate rooms. They usually go to the safehouse when they want to meet up, have events and parties or just whenever they want to get out to somewhere private from their own separate homes. The other members are already gathered around in the dining room as he comes through the door.

“Hey, there he is! Welcome to the finest restaurant in all of Korea.” Hoseok yells over from the table where they are all feasting on what looks like bbq.

“Join us, I slaved away at making this for all of you, congratulate me.” Jin’s bubbly voice calls.

“As if. All you did was order the food hyung, don’t act like you prepared it!” Jimin teases Jin and reaches over to put some beef over the bbq and then dips it in some sauce.

“Ah, perfect. I’m starving.” Namjoon puts away his things and sits down in the empty chair next to Y/N. They all get into food and conversation, laughing and smiling and having a great time.

“I’m curious, what did she ask you that sent you over the edge?” Jungkook quired, sitting back as Taehyung brought over some beers.

“The interviewer started asking about my ideal type of woman, a question which I can usually dodge, but she was persistent. Then they pulled up pictures of me back when I was visiting Switzerland where I met a fan and they tried to frame it like a secret girlfriend situation.”

“They followed you to Switzerland?” Y/N looked up, a disgusted look on his face.

“Guess so. Anyways after that she-” Namjoon cuts himself off.

 “Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” Her words came bubbling up again, making him feel nauseous.

“She what?” Taehyung presses. Namjoon shakes his head.

“Nothing. I just got pissed, snapped at her and left after that.” He avoids eye contact with any of them, hoping someone will change the subject.

“I think you were in the right. I would have been so snarky.” Yoongi speaks up from the corner seat. 

“Yeah, don’t think about it too much man. There will always be more interviews, with better and more respectful people.” Jungkook says, trying to make him feel better.

The conversation shifts from there and as the night goes on, the boys get more and more inebriated. Jin is practically howling from laughter at Hoseok, who is falling over in his chair with his face bright red. Jimin is half asleep, Jungkook is not far behind him, and Taehyung is talking about some nonsense with Yoongi. Y/N and Namjoon seem to be the better off in the bunch, simply making stupid jokes and laughing at the other members. Namjoon speaks up.

“I’m drunk, gonna turn in for the night. As should all of you.”

“I think Jimin is already there.” Jin laughs and points at Jimin, who is face flat on the table.

“I’ll take him to his room.” Jungkook sighs and lifts Jimin up and carries him away. The other members eventually all go to their respective rooms also. Namjoon makes his way to his room. 

Namjoon closes his door and goes to get ready for bed. His tipsiness makes him stumble sometimes, but he manages to get changed and brush his teeth. After getting ready, he practically falls into his bed and crawls underneath the light brown and white covers. He drifts into thought.

Ideal woman… 

Namjoon starts thinking about what he finds attractive. He imagines lean, fit bodies and smooth skin. Silky hair and slightly parted lips. Sparkling eyes and light voices that entice him. He imagines a pair of hands caressing his face, feels the hands move down his neck and to his chest, constantly moving. The hands then become arms attached to a lean and skinny body, a dancer’s body. He feels the body with his own hands, moving to the sides of the person and down to their hips. The person materializes even more, revealing defined abs that lead to a man’s chest and strong thighs that straddle Namjoon’s middle, masculine shoulders that carry beauty and grace. The person is a beautifully built man. The face is blurred, but he can make out plump lips that shine, half parted in a silent breath. The figure leans down into Namjoon, hands on his chest and head as it gets closer to his face. Namjoon is lost in a trance by this beautiful person, and leans in to meet his lips with theirs, when he is met with air. He opens his eyes to his empty room and him in bed.

What a strange dream. 

He winces as he adjusts under the covers and discovers that he is partially hard.

Great, just what I need. 

He doesn’t have the energy to fix it right now, so he just takes a deep breath and ignores it. Eventually, Namjoon drifts off to sleep.

The next day arrives quickly, and the members are all hung over in the house waking each other up and groaning in the living room.

“What’s everyone’s plans today?” Jimin pipes up, cheerfully, as if he didn't get absolutely wasted the night before. J-hope looks up at him from his fetal position.

“How are you a real person?” 

“Yoongi-ssi and I were going fishing if anyone wants to join us.” Jin puts the offer out there, to which nobody volunteers.

“I thought you hate fishing?” Y/N asks Yoongi.

“I do, but it makes Jin hyung happy. And it's more fun with friends.” Yoongi half spoke, half groaned his response.

“Awe, he does have a heart!” Jimin teased. Yoongi curled deeper into his blanket in response.

“I want to go hiking today, anyone want to come with? We can get ramyeon after and karaoke!” Jungkook suggests.

“Oh, that sounds fun! I'll come.” Hoseok blinks the sleepy away from his eyes and nods.

“Jimin and I will come too.” Taehyung holds up his arm.

“Do I get any say in this?” Jimin smacks Taehyung’s shoulder.

Guess that leaves Namjoon and Y/N. Namjoon turns to him.

“Would you be interested in going to the National Folk Museum of Art in Seoul? I haven’t been there in a while.” Namjoon and Y/N both share a passion for minimalistic art and artists as well as art history. Y/N looked up at him and smiled through groggy eyes.

“Sure, that sounds fun!” 

Cute. 

“Sounds like we all got plans then! Get up and get going boys, or these hangovers are gonna take your Friday away.” Jin initiates the march to get ready for the day and get going. As everyone gets up and gets ready to leave, Namjoon also stands up. Y/N stays on the couch for a second before groaning and putting his arms out.

“Help me up hyung, i'm dying.” Namjoon smiles and exaggeratedly pulls Y/N up from the couch.

“I take it I will be driving us?” Y/N teases.

“It’s safer for us and the universe that I don’t.” Namjoon laughs and lets Y/N go upstairs. He trips over the first step, making Namjoon smile.

Was he always this adorable?

Some time goes by and Namjoon gets a text.

Y/N: I’ll be ready in 15, meet me in my car? Me: SOunds good Y/N: Lol typo

He puts his phone away and gets ready. After 15 minutes of looking for a good art museum outfit (he decides on jeans and a hoodie because he couldn't decide) Namjoon heads downstairs and to the parking lot to meet Y/N. He sees the light mint green beetle with its engine on and in the driver’s seat is Y/N, in what looks to be a brown sweater and a green beret with thin circle glasses. He opens the passenger door and buckles his seatbelt.

“You look nice! Perfect for the museum.” Namjoon compliments his outfit.

“Ah, a classic Namjoon look.” Y/N laughs, pointing out Namjoon’s plain outfit.

“Yeah well, I'm okay with being inconspicuous.” 

“You will be my staff as I get all the attention!!” Y/N smiles and gives Namjoon’s shoulder a light punch. Namjoon looks around the inside of Y/N’s car, taking it all in. The interior is light brown and clean, Y/N likes to keep his things tidy. On the windshield mirror is hanging a car freshener that looks like a daisy. Y/N turns on his bluetooth and connects his phone to the radio.

“Any music suggestions?” He asks Namjoon.

“I want to listen to what you want. What are you listening to these days?” Namjoon inquires. It has been a while since he hung out with any of the members one on one. Y/N nods and scrolls through his phone as if it was a super important decision.

“I need to find songs that you wont judge me for.” Y/N laughs, half joking.

“You know I listen to a bit of everything, not much can surprise me.” Namjoon reassures him. Y/N smiles and a song begins to play. Namjoon recognizes it as Troye Sivan’s “Lucky Strike.” Y/N bops his head along to the music and looks at Namjoon for approval.

“I know Troye Sivan. He has a great voice.” 

“God, what I would GIVE to do a collab with him!” Y/N reels, then puts the car in reverse and they set off. The car ride is pleasant and calming as they take turns recommending songs and vibing to them, moments of silent listening as well as gushing about artists they like.

“I wish we could be more open in our music. Like Troye Sivan or Frank Ocean.” Y/N expresses. “I mean, I know we technically can, and there is nothing wrong with expressing your true self through music, but I feel like we have to be so on edge because of how many people listen to our music.” Namjoon understands what he means.

“I get it. We have to tiptoe around certain topics because of how international our reach is.” Y/N nods solemnly to Namjoon's response.

“Yeah. I just wish I could write about what I want without worrying about scandals. We write about girls all the time, I'd love to write a boy love song.” Y/N is focused on the road. Namjoon turns to look at him when he says that, but doesn't say anything. They bop their heads to music the whole way, Y/N making silly gestures and expressions to the music as he drives. A slight burning feeling arises in Namjoon's chest, and upon realizing he is staring quickly glances away and swallows.

Must still be hungover.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaaaaa what did you guys think?!?! I have SO much more written that I'm excited to share with you about this story. If you enjoyed and want to see more chapters please show this some love and tell me what you think below!!!

Stay tuned, Jae loves you <3

[vickyvicarious]

May 24, or: Lucy and the Three Suitors

The first was too straightforward, the second was too jolly, and the last was just right.

...Okay, it's not quite that simple, especially given that Lucy didn't describe Arthur's proposal in detail, but it's still interesting to notice the differences in their proposals and what that reveals about them as characters, or more specifically about their relationship to Lucy. Let's take a glance. (This wound up just being Lucy/Arthur propaganda, basically.)

John 'Jack' Seward

"number One came just before lunch"

"He was very cool outwardly, but was nervous all the same. He had evidently been schooling himself as to all sorts of little things, and remembered them; but he almost managed to sit down on his silk hat, which men don't generally do when they are cool, and then when he wanted to appear at ease he kept playing with a lancet in a way that made me nearly scream."

"He spoke to me, Mina, very straightforwardly. He told me how dear I was to him, though he had known me so little, and what his life would be with me to help and cheer him."

"He was going to tell me how unhappy he would be if I did not care for him, but when he saw me cry he said that he was a brute and would not add to my present trouble. Then he broke off and asked if I could love him in time; and when I shook my head his hands trembled"

"with some hesitation he asked me if I cared already for any one else. He put it very nicely, saying that he did not want to wring my confidence from me, but only to know, because if a woman's heart was free a man might have hope."

"he looked very strong and very grave as he took both my hands in his and said he hoped I would be happy, and that if I ever wanted a friend I must count him one of my best"

Number One obviously practiced for this. He rehearsed it in his head, had a clear script, and only broke away from that when it became very obvious that his straightforward and direct approach was upsetting Lucy. He cut himself off right away once he did notice, to his credit, but still seemed to hold hopes that perhaps this might be just because she doesn't know him well enough yet, or that he might hold out hope for the future. Depending on whether or not you think the suitors all knew they had shared affections for the same girl (I lean towards yes), then the hesitation kind of points towards him hoping it isn't what he already suspects to be true.

He knew he would be extremely nervous and attempted to hide his nerves by carefully and deliberately controlling his actions. But again and again, Lucy saw through him. I think his coming earlier in the day points as well to 'getting it over with', not letting his nerves build up even longer (especially if he knows the others are proposing too and if she says yes he won't get a chance). The way he spoke to her, very directly and clearly, points not only to nerves and trying to stick to things that are simple/difficult to bungle, but also to a more direct approach socially. He's not as comfortable with talking around things, he wants to be clear and direct. This isn't a bad quality but is one that might be difficult for Lucy if he expects the same from other people. She has already made a couple of comments that suggest she has a hard time being honest/direct with her words. If this man doesn't notice her unease until she is literally crying in front of him, he's probably not tuned in enough to be able to get her to admit when something is bothering her.

While he meant only the best, he was unable to easily read her feelings, and unable to hide the depth his own. He left Lucy feeling guilty that she couldn't reciprocate, knowing that by failing to do so she was causing him pain.

Quincey P. Morris

"number Two came after lunch"

"He is such a nice fellow, an American from Texas, and he looks so young and so fresh that it seems almost impossible that he has been to so many places and has had such adventures. [...] I know now what I would do if I were a man and wanted to make a girl love me. No, I don't,"

"he found out that it amused me to hear him talk American slang, and whenever I was present, and there was no one to be shocked, he said such funny things"

"Mr. Morris sat down beside me and looked as happy and jolly as he could, but I could see all the same that he was very nervous."

"'Miss Lucy, I know I ain't good enough to regulate the fixin's of your little shoes, but I guess if you wait till you find a man that is you will go join them seven young women with the lamps when you quit. Won't you just hitch up alongside of me and let us go down the long road together, driving in double harness?'"

"he did look so good-humoured and so jolly that it didn't seem half so hard to refuse him as it did poor Dr. Seward; so I said, as lightly as I could, that I did not know anything of hitching, and that I wasn't broken to harness at all yet. Then he said that he had spoken in a light manner, and he hoped that if he had made a mistake in doing so on so grave, so momentous, an occasion for him, I would forgive him."

"He really did look serious when he was saying it, and I couldn't help feeling a bit serious too"

"before I could say a word he began pouring out a perfect torrent of love-making, laying his very heart and soul at my feet. He looked so earnest over it that I shall never again think that a man must be playful always, and never earnest, because he is merry at times. I suppose he saw something in my face which checked him, for he suddenly stopped, and said with a sort of manly fervour that I could have loved him for if I had been free:—'[...]Tell me, like one good fellow to another, is there any one else that you care for?"

"That quite won me, Mina, for it was brave and sweet of him, and noble, too, to a rival—wasn't it?—and he so sad; so I leant over and kissed him."

"He wrung my hand, and taking up his hat, went straight out of the room without looking back, without a tear or a quiver or a pause; and I am crying like a baby."

Quincey followed right after lunch, right in the middle of the day. Once again, she saw that he looked nervous, but by and large he succeeds too well in hiding his own feelings from Lucy. This is the opposite problem from the last proposal. She notices his charm plenty, but because there is so much of it and because he does it so well, she initially feels that he is less sincere, or at least less vulnerable. Lucy is more moved by Quincey, and thinks he could win her over if she weren't already in love, but she also seems to think his charm is more generally polished and not as specific to her. In reality though, Quincey has been altering his behavior to please her and came with a planned proposal that he thought would make her happy. Once again, it didn't go the way he expected and he had to improvise, but the way he did so was different. He deliberately opened up and let her see how deeply he felt, and then that moved her much more than his lighthearted approach had. But he also noticed her emotions weren't quite matching his, and stopped himself. He noticed sooner, and she again responded to him more, but this was still after he had given his big speech 'before she could say a word', somewhat cutting her off. Once again, the communication isn't quite on a level, although it comes closer.

Quincey is more socially adept but also more likely to hold back his own feelings. He tells stories and jokes to please others. While he's generally more confident, I think the way it takes him so long to bare his emotions also can point to him having difficulty opening up like that. Sure, it was a strategy, but one that speaks to how he usually approaches difficult conversations. He's generally not as comfortable being so direct, at least about his own feelings (of course when he has to face that she doesn't return them, he isn't hesitant/is brave, and once he acts he does so resolutely). He's more similar to Lucy in this way, but maybe too similar, enough that it's hard for both of them to be serious/straightforward with one another. When he got her to take him seriously and it didn't work out, he retreated and she was left feeling guilty once again. Less so than before, I think, as she has more confidence in his ability to handle his own emotions, but that could also just point to her not being able to see him as clearly.

Arthur Holmwood

"Arthur tried twice to make a chance, and I helping him all I could;"

"it was all so confused; it seemed only a moment from his coming into the room till both his arms were round me, and he was kissing me"

"I am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it. I must only try in the future to show that I am not ungrateful to God for all His goodness to me in sending to me such a lover, such a husband, and such a friend."

Less to say here! But let's notice how it contrasts the others. While they had only one successful try, Arthur has taken three attempts to get out his proposal (counting this successful one). This could point to a couple of things - he sees her more often, he's alone with her more frequently but for shorter amounts of time, he's more confident he will be received well, he's having trouble holding his feelings back. I think it's probably a combination of all of the above. They've spent a lot of time together, enough to start rumors. Her mom likes him a lot and wants to spend time with him too, and perhaps thus interrupts them more. Lucy has also been trying to help him make chances, which he's noticed. And lastly, he doesn't even attempt to hide his feelings here.

Earlier, Lucy mentioned that she wasn't sure he loved her back, but it seems like that may be more her doubting herself than him trying to restrain his emotions. Because at least as far as we are told, he doesn't try to control himself at all. He also does not have a speech. Maybe this is down to the earlier failed attempts, and he wants to just get it all out now in a rush. But regardless, in this entry at least Lucy is able to clearly read his interest, and he can clearly read hers in return. Rather than the mistakes made between the others, there is no confusion here. They are both on the same page.

.

Any one of these men could have potentially won Lucy over in different circumstances. They all genuinely love her and they all have good relationships. (I love the way Lucy emphasizes that Arthur is her friend too, as well as the others.) But Lucy/Arthur is the couple we end up with. Partly this is due to pre-existing feelings. But I think timing aside, we also see that there are some communication difficulties with the other two men. Whether it's trouble noticing the other's emotions (Lucy for Quincey, Jack for Lucy), or difficulty communicating the depth of their own feelings (Quincey, Lucy), etc.

The usage of the planned and specific proposal vs. the more spontaneous and confused one illustrates this well. Lucy entries continue to have a focus on the ability to speak freely. Sure, we don't actually hear either of the couple speak directly here, but that actually points to them being so caught up in/openly expressing themselves that it's all just a jumble. There is no long stilted conversation, no one-sided speechifying. They're both involved, both equally caught up in emotion.

Not to get into spoilers, but... I think it's important for Lucy to be with someone who is able to tell how she is feeling, and communicate his own emotions clearly to her. It's a good match for her tendency to downplay or have difficulty expressing herself. While everyone could do well enough, the way the proposals are written set Arthur up as having the best ability to be open/get Lucy to open up as well.

Sure, her mother likes him, and he's rich and titled, but on an interpersonal level I think he is genuinely the best choice for her, not merely a safe one.

[f1ghtsoftly]

I know a lot of women here are anti religion and intellectually, I agree but also like? Im curious how you engage with the older women in your life? Your culture without, at the very least, religious stories and symbolism? And what do we do without that?

Im…somewhat of a practicing Catholic, I really like spending time with older women and I appreciate this sort of shared compassionate space and how people merge folk magic practices in particular with catholic rite and ritual.

Often like, people like to paint all Christian religions as these patriarchal, colonialist institutions and those institutions are what they are-but they’re also often the only cultural spaces, outside of courts, average lay people had any contact with. Catholic schools were the first places women were educated in Europe, catholic priests, nuns and bishops have not all been paper pushing engines of empire, a great deal of the American labor movement, charitable catholic organizations have . That doesn’t sanitize the history and it does not sanitize the brutality, but to forget it? Especially to forget how people worked for their needs and their goals within those institutions. You don’t have to forgive The Church™️ of course you don’t, their colonizing, child molesting fucks. But you do have to sit on the grass and grapple with the reality your foremothers prayed to their god in the back pews of a catholic church, in the din of a tenement or cottage giving birth, maybe even alone. And you very much have to grapple with the reality that for most women the church is a critical part of their social fabric and….idk. I think it’s silly to change that exactly. A lot of older women have interesting and cool theologies if you ask them about it. They don’t necessarily agree with everything the church does or says or believes. Sometimes they definitely do but idk, dig into why, you can usually, not always, find some common ground.

Class, in particular, and then marriage, motherhood and culture bars women from a lot of opportunities that men might not be. It’s not always wise I think to overlook older women or women in more conservative institutions. Those institutions offer protection from men too.

Our foremothers have buried treasure in those spaces. There are women with protofeminist consciousnesses working in church groups right now probably in your local community. Go hangout, do charitable work. Connect to them.

I think, a large part, of my hesitation around radical feminism is it’s ungroundedness and unwillingness to take stock of women’s suffering. The focus on the new is good it’s a right urge but that also needs to be balanced with some grief, for ourselves and for the women who came before us. It is this refusal to reckon with the brokenness of the woman trapped in patriarchy that leads so called radical feminists to their worst excesses. It’s very easy to call a woman a c*****cker when you’ve never been raped as a child, or are busy pushing those memories away.

From this I hope we can gain a greater sympathy for our fellow woman in the past and the present. The violence and loneliness of this trapped existence, this hall of mirrors between the humanity of woman and the “woman” we are supposed to embody/one which almost always allows total violation of the self, presents oneself as a vessel to the worthy male..is extreme. It is enough to drive one into cruelty and madness a million times over. Count yourself lucky, not strong, to have been spared it’s worst faces. No woman, no matter her mistakes, deserves to be shamed, hurt or forgotten.

And it is in a woman’s little work, her lacemaking, garden growing, candlewax making that we can find her again. Don’t denigrate the tiny ways women have historically found spaces for their creativity, genius…. Above all, I want us to carry average working women who taught their kids the best they could, who served their communities, who grew vegetables and braided hair and took care of their daughters with us. Not all reminders of enslavement are poisonous but rather, precious tokens to the strength of our spirit.

Their are aspects of femininity I will likely never give up not because of fear, not anymore, but because I want women to know that I am with them. I do not mind donning the garb of their enslavement because when one of us is enslaved, when one of us is demeaned we are all demeaned. We share that boulder together. I am no better, no tougher, no stronger than she. I want to meet her hands, in prayer, in communion, in laugher in work with a sort of respect and acceptance women are so rarely afforded in a world that treats violence, even verbal, against women as sport. Against men’s eyes, against the world. I want her to see me as an equal and friend. I am reluctant to empathize with a woman who foolishly believes she is better and stronger than other women because it’s not really true-almost no women are.

[sarah-sandwich]

⭐️🎶

Thank you!! ⭐ - share a snippet where a character is the best at something. This is from Blue like don't forget about me. Nash is the best at detailed paperwork and taking care of his sister.

Mrs. Sweet is staring at [Nash's] binder with wide, alarmed eyes. “Who told you that you needed to go to the doctor? That’s not something we—,”

“Nobody, ma’am, but I thought it would reassure… I thought you’d want to know I’m not likely to drop dead from some kinda illness or…” He shakes his head. “I was only covering all the bases. I need you to know I’m a fit guardian. Without question.”

“Hun, this is above and beyond what we— Is this a physical evaluation from the army?”

“Yes, ma’am. Not that I’m going to enlist,” he assures her quickly. “I just thought you’d appreciate seeing an evaluation from a fellow government entity and the recruiters are always lurkin’ around so…”

He shrugs. It was a bit awkward at the end when he declined to enlist and asked that they remove his contact information from the database, but it was worth it to pad out his credentials with something official looking.

“Why…” Mrs. Sweet flips through several pages—his birth certificate to show he’s American born, his budget painstakingly detailed to the penny, and a letter of character attestation from Lori. “Honey, you didn’t need to do this much.”

“Yes, I did.”

Perhaps he says it with too much force because she snaps her teeth together and frowns at him under a furrowed brow.

“You seem to be under the mistaken impression that my mother did anything other than run the diner in town and get plastered at the bar when her shift was up. I don’t mean to imply that we weren’t grateful for the paycheck or the fact that her implied presence kept the government off our doorstep, but nothin’ much has changed ‘round here ‘cept that now I have to prove to someone who don’t know the first thing about me or Jo that I know how to do the things I’ve been doing since I learnt to walk. Jo is in the state she’s in thanks to me. The house isn’t a pile of moldy splinters thanks to me. There’s food in the fridge and toilet paper on the roll thanks to me. That’s the way it's been since—,”

He barely stops himself before he admits he’s been driving to the deli in town since he was ten. He had to sit on the phone book to see over the wheel and could barely work the pedals, but Jo was hungry. What else was he to do?

He can also hear his accent getting thicker as he draws closer to losing his temper and it only serves to fan the flames. He hates the way he sounds when he’s angry. He hates that it gets him dismissed as a dumb hot-headed hick.

He clears his throat. “What I mean to say is, I’ve been taking care of Jo my whole life and don’t mean to stop. As far as I’m concerned nothin’ has changed except that we’re a paycheck short and if you flip to page six you can see I’ve more than made up for it by—,”

She closes the binder. “I believe the tea is ready.”

He glances back at the pitcher. It’s respectably dark, but…

She softens. “I’ve seen all I need to see Mr. Owens. Now please, a glass before I drive back to the city would do me some good. I’ll submit my formal review and you’ll hear the result within the next week or so.” She puts her hand on his forearm. “Your sister is lucky to have someone who loves her as much as you do.”

He spends the following nineteen days holding his breath and waiting by the phone.

🎶 - share a happy moment. ANY happy moment. You must have ONE. This is a sfw snippet from a smutty parkner one-shot about baseball pants 💖

“I was trying to sound hip,” Peter grumbles and crushes down his empty water bottle.

“You? Hip? Darlin’, you said, ‘right-o’ before you went down on me. There’s no hope. Give up.”

“I— No, I didn’t.”

Harley laughs. “I’m not arguin’ about this. You’re a dork and a nerd and a geek all rolled into one unbelievable sexy package. Take the gifts you’ve been given and quit bellyachin’ for more.”

“I’m going to pretend I only heard the part where you think I’m sexy.”

“Whatever craws your dad.”

Peter glowers at him then makes for the passenger seat and yanks open the door. “Don’t start with your weird southern slang.”

“You can’t bridle a horse once it’s out of the barn, sweetheart.”

Peter throws himself into the car with a sound of disgust and only then does Harley allow himself a smile. Somehow Peter hasn’t cottoned on to Harley’s game of inventing silly sayings purely to get his goat, and he’s in no hurry to end the torment.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Rivers :: Caglecartoons.com

* * * *

Two Visions of America on Christmas Day, 2023.

December 25, 2023

ROBERT B. HUBBELL

DEC 26, 2023

President Biden’s Holiday Message.

President Biden delivered a heartfelt Christmas message by video (watch here on Twitter via The Lincoln Project.). I recommend watching the video, but if you are unable to do so, the text of President Biden’s comments is below:

The Christmas story is at the heart of the Christian faith, but the messages of love, hope, peace, and joy are universal. It speaks to all of us whether we are Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, or other or no faith at all. It speaks to all of us as human beings who are here on this earth. To care of one another, to look out for on another, to love one another. Our politics has gotten so angry, so mean, so partisan. And too often, we see each other as enemies, not as neighbors. So, my hope this Christmas season is that we take a few moments of quiet reflection. Find that stillness at the heart of Christmas and really look at one another. Not as Democrats or Republicans. Not as members of Team Red or Team Blue, but as who we really are—fellow Americans, fellow human beings. Worthy of being treated with dignity and respect. I sincerely hope this holiday season will drain the poison that has affected our politics and set us against one another. I hope this Christmas seasons marks a fresh start for our nation because there is so much that unites us as Americans. There is so much more that unites us than divides us. So, this Christmas, let’s spread a little kindness, let’s be that helping hand, that strong shoulder, that friendly voice when no one else seems to care for those who are struggling in trouble and need. It just might be the best gift you can ever give. I wish you—and for you—and for our nation, now and always, that we will live in the light. The light of liberty and hope, of love and generosity, of kindness and compassion, of dignity and decency. So, from the Biden family, we wish you and your family peace, joy, health, and happiness. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all the best in the new year! God bless you all, and may God protect our troops.

Donald Trump's holiday message.

Trump posted his holiday message on Truth Social. I have excluded most of the hateful vitriol in the message. But here is the gist—and the concluding lines:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL  . . . Includ[ing] World Leaders, both good and bad, but none of which are as EVIL and SICK as the THUGS we have inside our Country . . . . [Including the] Woke Military, Russia/Ukraine, Israel/Iran, All Electric Car Lunacy, and so much more, [who] are looking to DESTROY our once great USA. MAY THEY ROT IN HELL. AGAIN, MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

Concluding Thoughts.

We are witnessing two radically different visions of America unfold in real-time. Having just experienced Christmas through the eyes of two three-year-old(ish) granddaughters, I know which vision of America I am hoping will prevail.

[Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter]

[calamitycontrolled]

Being a Trans Student

I consider myself to be very lucky to have a family that supports me through my development, but that is rarely the case for other non-binary and transgender people. The decision to be true to myself was not made lightly, and I find myself in a constant debate between doing what is easy and doing what is right for me. Transgender people are in a terrible position in (American) society today, as many states are adopting anti-trans legislation and conservatives are adopting transphobic rhetoric which has harmful effects on all levels of our society. Misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia are present on college campuses just as they are in the job market and in our government. Transgender students must first overcome the depression, the dysphoria, the anxiety, and the prejudices of society to even begin thinking about being themselves. College is a stressful time for everyone, and being trans is something that can be so threatening and life-changing that many of us repress it instead of letting it free. It takes so much courage to be true to yourself. Many trans or non-binary people find it hard to reach out and make connections with other LGBT people, making college a lonely experience.

It seems impossible to balance the high cost of college, the classwork, employment, and transitioning at the same time. Paying tuition does not even include parking, meals, or housing. College coupled with high costs of living, including rent, utilities, and food, ensure that if you can work, your paycheck is already spoken for. Medical and pharmacy bills are so expensive that you must be covered by insurance, which depends on your family situation. Being transgender means that you are immediately categorized into a group that many people view poorly, and unfortunately means that acceptance isn’t always guaranteed among friends and family. So many of my friends in the LGBT community fear coming out to their parents or have already been cut off for being queer. Without that vital support, transgender students cannot hope to access gender affirming care, mental health support, or even routine doctor’s appointments. Someone I love very much and hold close to my heart is scared to tell her parents of her identity because they have threatened to pull her out of school if she dated another woman. What makes this so difficult is that despite everything- the years of mental health struggles, slowly finding yourself, accepting it, and coming out- you’re left with more problems that need solving. As I said before, college is a difficult and expensive venture for most people. For trans people, this venture becomes a labyrinth.

To my fellow transgender and non-binary friends-

Keep going. Don’t give up! The road is long but there is something to look forward to at the end. Sometimes the wheel turns slowly- but it turns. The best thing you can do is be who you are, love yourself, and seek the support of those who accept you. There are people out there who will love and support you no matter what. Use every available resource at your disposal. College is full of them! Look for clubs that interest you, there might even be one for LGBT students. There is no greater feeling than being yourself, and your success will allow you to inspire others.

[agentnico]

Hello Tomorrow! - Season 1 (2023) Review

Feels like a missed opportunity that this show didn’t once make use of the hit pop song Reach (For the Stars) by staple band S Club 7. Yes, this show is set in a retro 60s, but S Club 7 is fitting for any era of time!!

Plot: In a retro-futuristic world, charismatic salesman Jack Billings leads a team of fellow sales associates determined to revitalize their customers' lives by hawking timeshares on the moon.

Recently I have been trying to validate my Apple TV+ subscription, as in the current day and age where there are a gazillion various streaming services, one has to question which ones are worth the monthly buck. In regards to Apple TV+, the main reason I had the subscription in the first place was due to getting the first year for free with my purchase of the iPhone 11 back in 2020, however that one free year has long gone, and the only main reason having it now is seeing a moustachioed Jason Sudeikis inspire and charm us all in the amazing Ted Lasso series. Speaking of which, my fiancée has just bought me a Ted Lasso Build-a-Bear and I am sorry but I must state that this thing is cute as fudge! It has no right to be this adorable! My sweet Teddy Lasso! Anyway, aside from that, Apple TV+... What is it good for? That’s what I’m discovering, hence why I recently watched the Shrinking show and the Tetris movie. All enjoyable in their own right and feel free to browse my reviews on those earlier on this blog. Yep, that was some shameless self-marketing, and I could not care less. As for my next Apple venture, I have just finished watching Hello Tomorrow!, the season finale of which has just aired, and naturally here I am, your humble servant, talking about my thoughts on the project at hand.

Hello Tomorrow! brings us a retro futuristic world of the 1960s that has been upgraded with very helpful robots that for once aren’t trying to take over the world like in the recent Atomic Heart video game, but instead are only in the background, and more so this is a show about hope and opportunity and dreams. Or at least the single idea of this, as what we have is actually a bunch of con-artists trying to sell to a bunch of gullible simpletons the dream of living in a luxury residence on the moon. Not that I personally see anything appealing about living on the moon, as the grey desert landscape seem to be pretty dull of a locale to look at when walking out of your bedroom onto the balcony, yet these folks seem intent on wanting to go there. Each to their own I guess. Then again this does seem like yet another interpretation on the fabled American Dream - the idea all poor and desperate do their best to strive to, but in turn never reach. In a nutshell we have ourselves a sci-fi critique of capitalism wrapped in a tailored 60s suit. Does it work? Not always. At 10 episodes long, the show does fall into a sense of repetition where we discover early on that the entire idea of living on the moon is all a con, so the show then lingers with the whole ‘will they/won’t they get caught’ case, but without much resolution until the final episode that does offer a multitude of cliff-hangers, evidently in hope of another season renewal. However judging at how Hello Tomorrow! isn’t present on Apple TV+’s Top 10 charts I’m sensing said renewal is very questionable.

The cast are all superb and what make the show so watchable. Billy Crudup’s Jack is simply dripping with pools of charisma and charm as the main salesman and the brains behind the operation. With his wide smile and dapper suits, Crudup is totally believable as a businessman who would totally get folks to belief in this unbelievable dream. Yet his colourful sales team is worth a mention too. Haneefah Wood is immensely likeable as the straight headed righthand woman Shirley, and one that would fit right at home in the offices of Glengarry Glen Ross, where Alec Baldwin would proclaim proudly those famous sales words: “always be closing!”. Dewshane Williams is the ambitious Herb, who is so idiotic and under his wife’s leash that he may secretly just be a genius. And Hank Azaria rounds up the sales team with his usual offbeat persona. Then there’s Nicholas Podany as Jack’s long lost son who gets corrupted by Jack’s sleazy teachings, and their estranged father-son relationship being at the heart of this show. Jacki Weaver pops up in a couple of episodes too as Jack’s wisecracking mother, and Weaver is always a weirdly energetic presence.

Look, Hello Tomorrow! doesn’t break any new ground. Its yet another show about con-men conning innocent gullible people, only in this case the retro setting adds more flair and style to the proceedings. The entire show honestly rides on Billy Crudup’s charismatic lead performance. He’s a sleazebag from beginning to end, yet he manages to convincingly be devilishly likeable and sympathetic, so much so that he manages to get himself lost in his own lie of this ridiculous dream. His Cheshire cat-like grin brings out the ‘character you love to hate’ type, yet one you’re happy to go on this journey with. Jack is a liar and a cheat, but he’s also a dreamer. And in a show that’s all about reaching for the stars, that’s all too relatable.

Overall score: 6/10

[invisiblekatanaartwork]

Artist’s Blog #144 - Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear (1988)

Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear and the Jolly Chimp Toy

Several years ago, I wandered into my favorite thrifting spot for a break from painting. As I was leaving, I went by the glass case to gander at the items they considered treasure. I noticed a retro toy that I had seen on a movie poster. It was an authentic Jolly Chimp toy – the monkey with striped pants and banging cymbals. I had the attendant let me look at it. The creepy toy’s condition was poor but, the box and the toy were there. I paid the $10 and took the piece home for my shelf. Had it not been for the Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear poster, I wouldn’t have even cared about the creepy toy. Get in your wheelchair and read my thoughts on this George Romero oddity but goodity from 1988.

Discover Jason Beghe’s Early Role in Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear

Unfortunately, I don’t live off investments which means like most Americans I have to work a full-time job in addition to having hobbies. This takes time away but, I make sure to invest my most precious resource, time, into my family. One way I do this is by watching at least 2 television shows with my wife while eating frozen grapes. One of these shows is Chicago PD which features Jason Beghe in the lead role of Sgt. Hank Voight. I had no idea until several minutes into Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear that Jason was also the lead role in it. He was much younger in 1984, and his raspy voice is missing. Sometime after Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear, Jason had an accident that affected his voice. This single fact is what I enjoyed most about this movie.

George Romero’s Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear—A Hidden Horror Gem

In addition to having my mind blown when I realized who was playing Allan Mann, the quadriplegic with a trained monkey assistant, learning that George Romero directed Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear was another surprise. Romero, to me, is like John Carpenter. If their name is on a movie, you can bet it’s going to be great. I’ve blogged on Romero’s Night of the Living Dead and Day of the Dead. As for Carpenter, I’ve blogged on The Fog, Escape from New York, They Live, and Big Trouble in Little China. Each title is linked to the respective blog. I said all that to say that I am a fan of both fellows’ work. With Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear added to my list, I have another Romero film under my belt. I was also pleased to know that Tom Savini did the special effects, wow.

Exploring the Unique Horror Elements in Monkey Shines

Ok, folks, I get it. Fan service sells tickets. I have to say though that it isn’t always necessary. A problem I had with Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear was the hook-up scene with his girlfriend. I have no idea what purpose this served. It had nothing to do with the plot, story, terror – nothing. This scene could have easily been omitted. To me, a better way to have presented this would have been at the very end. Maybe a here’s what you’ve been waiting on scene or something. Let me get this out there too. I’m in no way picking on quadriplegic folks or making fun of the challenges they face. I hope that everyone can live the fullest best life that they can. I just didn’t see a purpose for this scene.

Dive into Psychological Tension

Let’s talk about pets. About a year ago, my daughter and I ran into a lady outside a restaurant that had a pet monkey. My daughter wanted to pet it but, the lady wouldn’t let her for fear of the animal getting sick. An uncle of mine owned a pet monkey for a while and I don’t recall hearing good stories. Monkeys are well known for throwing poop and biting too. So, I don’t see how having a monkey as a quadriplegic is a good idea. This is not a typical service animal. Think about it. I own a Rottweiler, and he can get on the counter, all the furniture, and open doors. A monkey can do this and more. Were you to get that one primate that was a hellraiser, you would be in a world of trouble which leads me to my next point.

The Role of Disability and Dependence in Monkey Shines

Thankfully, I don’t face the challenges associated with being quadriplegic. This takes dependency to a whole new level. My Rottweiler is going to become a service animal for me one day. It will be on a very small level compared to the black lab I saw guiding a blind fellow at the polls recently though. Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear’s main character is dependent on this primate for telephone calls, food, etc. Here’s the scary thing. When the animal goes haywire, what could he do to stop it? He can’t fight with it. Shooting it is not an option. There’s no way to call for help. Think about that level of dependency and then put that into the context of a horror movie. This is the leading point that makes Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear great. On to my next point.

Hollywood - Oh Where, Oh Where Has Creativity Gone?

Hollywood – a question for you – where has your creativity gone? Stream a movie because the days of renting VHS tapes are behind us now and see if I’m wrong. Today, Hollywood offers one of three options. Your choice of a remake of something old and actually creative that they typically ruin or completely destroy. Option two is demon this which caused demon that to attack group of people. Third, you got captured and we’re going to torture you in the most realistic on-film ways possible until one of your friends escapes somehow. Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear is none of these. Instead, it is 100% creative and completely unique to the best of my knowledge – a quadriplegic gets an enhanced monkey trained as a service animal that becomes too attached to him. Year 2024’s Hollywood would never produce something like this – it’s way too creative.

Monkey Shines' Movie Poster - Why The Jolly Chimp Toy?

Back to the poster that I mentioned in the introduction – does anyone know how the movie is tied to the chimp toy? I never noticed a Jolly Chimp anywhere on screen. This is one of my personal favorite posters. The poster for The Attack of the 50ft Woman is my favorite. Yes, I have blogged on this 1950’s Sci-fi gem and you can read it here. Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear has another iconic poster though. Once you see it, you never forget it. This poster grabs me and causes my mind to wonder what is this movie about. You would never guess the plot based on the poster and although it certainly has something to do with monkeys, it has nothing to do with the toy it displays. The Jolly Chimp toy is a creepy creation – especially in real life.

Conclusion - Never Watch Chicago PD the Same Again

All in all, Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear is a great movie. The acting is great, the directing is great, the effects are great, the costumes and color are spot on as well as the writing. The realization that the main character is Sgt. Voigt is great and changes how I view Chicago PD – for the good because it’s a great show. I know very little about wheelchairs except that I will occasionally borrow the one at the makeup store when my wife and daughter drag me in there for two reasons. One, I’m lazy, and two because I like to irritate them. My point – the chair that the character uses (it’s vintage now) is amazing. He’s able to steer it with his mouth. I’m sure that chairs now are even more advanced but, this was impressive technology to see.  

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this artist’s thoughts on Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear. I invite you to follow my art journey on social media, visit my website, and consider supporting and buying my work here. If you liked this blog or the movie, please share. Also, feel free to comment, especially if you are a fan of this one. I doubt I’ll watch Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear again anytime soon but, it is certainly enjoyable if you dig 80s horror or just unique stories. Also, Chicago PD fans should watch this to see some old-school Voight. Peace. 

[emoshep]

post-election thoughts

i've spent a lot of time trying to get my thoughts together on how to move forward in the wake of the us election results. after giving it some thought and listening to the advice of some creators, i wanna share some points i feel might be useful. some are more practical, some is more emotional. everything below the break.

the way things are going now, barring something sudden and unprecedented (we're all free to hope and dream of course), donald trump will be the next us president. this is no longer something we can control and we need to accept that. what we can control is our response.

first things first, get some important documents ready, most important being your passport. if you don't have one, get one. if you have one, make sure it's updated. if you're part of any marginalized population or even just a white cishet dissenter (thanks for being an ally if you are), there is a non-zero chance that you may have to flee the country. there are countries out there that will accept americans seeking asylum, that's something to look into and be ready for.

second, get with your community. if you don't have a specific community you're actively involved in, find one and get involved. whatever it is, find something to build community and relationships with others around. whether it's fellow queer people in your area, or civil rights advocacy groups or the local gaming scene or local musicians or the folks in the stands of your favorite soccer team (on that last one: some MLS supporter groups are openly antifascist. not all of them, but some of them. just a thought if you're a sports person). point is, be with a community and be active about forming relationships and building trust with the folks there. both you and they are going to need a support network of some kind, and there's no time like the present.

third, also kinda sorta related to the second, find a political organization and join it. look into the myriad existing organizations out there. join the one that matches your values best and, again, get active and involved. whether it's democratic socialists of america, the industrial workers of the world, the freedom road socialist organization, the revolutionary communists of america, the maoist communist union (cue the mcu jokes), mutual aid disaster relief, socialist rifle association, socialist alliance or whatever. just find an org, join it, get out there with your comrades and allies. minor point: the time for shit talking other leftists over what little differences you actually have has passed. the time for unity is now. not ten years down the road, not within the next few months, not tomorrow. now.

fourth, if you can get away with it talk with your coworkers about organizing a union. unions are good for workers and if what we know about the republican agenda thus far is any indication, we're all going to need a union to back us up. may day 2028 might seem far off but if the uaw plan is put into effect then that'll be an important day for american labor, so the time to organize and make some kind of plan is now. we got about 4 years, make the most of that time.

fifth, and just as important as all earlier points, do not lose hope. the right wants you to feel demoralized, defeated, and alone. don't give them that. whatever keeps you going, be it love or pure spite or the amusement of being an annoying obstructionist and getting in republicans' way, hold onto it. hold onto the people you love and care for. we've lost this battle, but it's neither the first nor last battle for us. hold on, keep your head high, move forward.

last, just remember: you are not alone. you will get through, and you will overcome. the sun will rise on us again. that's all i have for now. check in on your friends, stay safe, take a breath and take breaks as needed.

soon, we're gettin' busy.

[meowstic07]

We continue to live our lives in this crazy world. Despite the suffering, the genocide, the politics, the pollution, the hate, we continue on. This world is full of fear, destruction, and discrimination, but we keep fighting.

I am but a child living a privileged life, what I have been through is but a speck in comparison to the cruel world.

No matter what you are going through, you don't deserve it. You are a valid human being, who deserves a safe place.

I know life might suck right now. I know the world we live in is far from perfect, but never give up.

I wish I could do more to help those in need. But for now all I have are my words of encouragement.

Never lose hope. Never stop being you. Never let them take away your voice.

Some people may be assholes, but don't let them stop you from living your life. I hope that one day I can make a difference in this world, but for now I'm just a kid.

The weight of the world is heavy, but we can bear it together. No one person should have to go through anything alone. To rid this world of hate and suffering would be amazing, but for now we must keep living, we must survive, and hold onto to what we care about. I wish you all the best of luck. I hope you get to live your life to the fullest. I hope for your freedom. I hope for your joy. I hope that one day you won't have to worry about your safety. But for now, keep living, keep surviving, keep on being you. You are amazing and incredible just the way you are. You are enough. Your problems may be big or small, but one day you will get through it. I wish I could say it will all end and be better, but the world continues to be hateful. But I hope we can work together for a brighter future.

From the river to the sea let Palestine be free.

My fellow Americans, vote blue. They may be supporting the bullshit country known as Isreal, but they are still better than Trump. I know it's conflicting, but honestly pretty sure Trump would just fuck up the government that is already a bit screwed. We need people that will support us as we are. It is really shitty that they aren't acknowledging genocide, but Trump isn't either, and if you don't vote, chances are a literal criminal will be in the white house again. Right now I can't vote, so please vote for me. Your voice matters. Your choice makes a difference. Please vote blue.

And to those who are doing well, to those enjoying their lives. I'm happy for you. It makes me smile that despite all the bullshit in the world some people still mange to live good lives. Please don't take what you have for granted. And if you can help out in any way to make the world a better place, no matter how small, please do. If you don't have extra time or money, don't feel guilty. You matter and your needs matter. Take care of yourself, but once you have done that it doesn't hurt to take care of others.

Be the change in the world, that you want to see.

I send you all lots of love.

[missfay49]

My boys, the Flying Tigers

A speech at a dinner in honor of the American Volunteer Group of the Chinese Air Force given by Generalissimo and Madame Chiang in Kunming on February 28, 1942, upon their return from India and Burma. The Generalissimo and Colonel Claire L. Chennault, Commanding Officer of the A.V.G., addressed the gathering before Mme. Chiang spoke.

Generalissimo Chiang's address.

Colonel Chennault, officers and men: To be with you American volunteers here today, to observe your excellent spirit and to hear of your achievements fills me with delight and admiration. The American Volunteer Group of the Chinese Air Force has acquired a world-wide reputation for greatest courage.

It is three months since the Japanese, our common enemy, picked their quarrel with Great Britain and the United States. The splendid victories the Volunteer Group has won in the air are a glory that belongs to China and our ally, America, alike.

I have already communicated the news of your repeated successes to your Government and President Roosevelt. The record of what you have done shows that everyone of you have been a match for thirty or more of the enemy. Your friends and relations will undoubtedly have felt boundless pride and elation to hear of your exploits. The blows you have struck at the Japanese have put you in the forefront of the Allied forces fighting the aggressor. You have established a firm foundation for the campaign against his lawlessness which China and American are united to wage. You have written in the history of this world war a remarkable page, the memory of which will live in our minds forever.

As the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces operating in the China theater of war, I am entertaining you today as my comrades-in-arms and on behalf of my four hundred and fifty million fellow countrymen I salute you, confident that you will continue together with all the Allied forces in Burma to display your valor until final victory is won over our common enemy.

Since you are under my command, I wish to impress upon you your identity with all the other men serving in the Chinese armed forces. Your lives are one with their and mine, your good name is one with their and mine. I act toward you as I act toward other members of the Chinese Air Force. I shall extend to those of your comrades who have given their lives the same mark of distinction and the same care for their families and children. For this I hold myself responsible. I trust that you will perform your duties free from any anxiety on this score. Your task is great. When victory is ours I hope to celebrate together with you our successful issue of the war in Tokyo.

Colonel Chennault's response

Members of the A. V. G.: Never before in history do I know of any military unit such as ours having been accorded the honor such as comes to us tonight. No matter how many decorations we may have bestowed on us in the future I am sure we will never receive more honor than we have received tonight. For five years I have followed the Generalissimo to the best of my ability and I know him to be a leader of the highest principles and greatest determination. He is a leader, not only of China, but of the entire Allied effort. It is easy for us Americans to follow such a leader.

In addition to Madame Chiang's work in aviation, she is also the leader of all the women in China. The orphans and widows of China come to her either directly or through the agencies which she has setup and all receive aid. To me, she is the mother of China.

During this time millions of Chinese soldiers have gone to the fronts and have been killed and seriously wounded. Orphans have been left in the ruins of their homes and in the fields. All of these needed aid and they have been given that aid as rapidly as possible. And how there will be thousands more to feed and educate, to receive medical attention.

One problem, of course, is to provide the money for this. It takes money to do all these things, probably less in China than elsewhere

7

but even in China money is needed to buy these things. Madame Chiang's generosity is boundless. Her shoulders are always willing to take on additional burdens, but if money is lacking to provide the necessities her work must suffer. I would be unable to recite all that Madame Chiang has accomplished; however, one thing I have not yet mentioned. When the organization of this Group was first discussed in America I was asked for recommendations as to how it would be handled in China. The first thing that I insisted upon was that Madame Chiang should act as our chief staff officer; that Madame Chiang should serve as liaison staff officer between the Generalissimo and the Group. And although she has hundreds of activities that require a great deal of her time she consented to this because of her eagerness for China to have effective military aviation. So, even though you are unconscious of the fact, Madame Chiang has been Honorary Group Commander and Staff Officer of this Group since its organization and I would like to present her tonight as our Honorary Group Commander.

Madame Chiang's speech

Colonel Chennault, members of the A.V.G. and other friends: As your Honorary Commander may I call you my boys? You have flown across the Pacific in China's gravest hour on wings of hope and faith. For this reason not only does the Chinese Air Force but the entire Chinese nation welcome you with outstretched arms. The Generalissimo has already spoken to you of the fine and brave deeds you have done and he has called the A.V.G. the world's bravest air force.

I am very proud tonight that I have had a little share in making it possible for you to fight for China. When I think of the life-and-death struggle which China has passed through these last five years I have before my mind's eye the millions of our people who have been killed or wounded and others who had to flee from Japanese cannon, machine guns and bombers. I also see the rivers of blood which have flowed over our territory, the very lifeblood of China's fairest manhood. I think of the tens of thousands of our women whose honor has been violated by the Japanese and the hundreds of thousands of our little children who have been killed and maimed or else taken to Japan to be trained as traitors to their motherland.

8

And now you have come here to vindicate us. We have always been resolved to fight until final victory is ours but we lack the air arm which you are now providing. You have come to fight side by side with us. For this I wish to express our heartfelt thanks.

Colonel Chennault has taken an active part in Chinese resistance during the last five years. You boys know him personally. You know what an admirable commander he is and how very selfless. The only complaint I have against him is that he is never satisfied with his own work. I venture to say, too, that he also thinks that you ought to have more work regardless of how much you already have.

Colonel Chennault has just introduced me as Honorary Commander of the A.V.G. I think I am prouder of this title than any other title I've had because I know that you are not only fighting with your bodies and your skill, you are fighting with your hearts and spirits. Just now Colonel Chennault brought to me two of your very fine comrades who have braved death today in the air. They forgot themselves entirely while fighting the enemy because they knew that although they might have to make the final sacrifice their comrades would carry on the great work which the A.V.G. has set for itself. This Spirit, I feel, is the secret of the A.V.G.'s successes.

I was asked a little while ago by one of my officers, "Madame Chiang, some of the A.V.G. pilots are shooting down so many planes that we won't have room enough on the wings for all the stars which they merit. What shall we do about it?" I told him, "We shall have to provide them with an additional pair of wings." And that is what we will have to do if you all keep up the score.

Although you are here in China I am sure that often your minds and your hearts fly back to your loved ones in America, and for this reason I am glad that American is now realizing that China is not fighting for China alone but for American and for the whole world. You, in giving the best that is in you, are doing it for your own country as well as for China. Time and again your Commanding Officer has dinned into your ears the necessity for discipline. Hateful word, isn't it? Discipline in the air, discipline on the field, and yet without discipline we can accomplish nothing and I, as your Honorary Commanding Officer, am going to din more discipline into you.

9

I would go further than Colonel Chennault. I mean discipline of your inner selves. It isn't enough to observe discipline only. We must have inner discipline so that we may have fully-developed characters. However, I am not trying to make you little plaster saints and I am quite human enough to like interesting people, but I do want you boys to remember one thing: the whole of the Chinese nation has taken you to its heart and I want you to conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the great traditions that you have built up. I want you to leave an impression on my people, and true impress of what Americans really are. I trust and I know that you will act worthily wherever you are in China.

Forgive me for speaking to you like that. Perhaps I should be very polite and say, "Boys, you are just grand. You are little angels with or without wings." But you are my boys. I can speak to your freely. I know that you will understand when I say that I hope every one of you, whether in the air or on the ground, will remember that you are China's guests and that everything you do will reflect credit upon the country which I love next to my own, America, where as you know I was educated and which I always look upon as my second home.

Colonel Chennault just now said something which rather embarrassed me. He spoke to you about my needing money to carry on relief work. I know that money is necessary, Colonel, but I don't want to rope you boys in tonight for this purpose. If I had, this dinner would be very hard to digest, so I didn't do that: but I do want to thank you for what you voluntarily contributed to the war orphans during Christmas. Please don't feel that you have to contribute now, that's one thing I beg of you.

Just one final word. War is not only a matter of equipment, artillery, ground troops or air force; it is largely a matter of spirit, or morale. When I came into this room I felt at once how very keyed-up you are. Now that you have been fighting for a few months, you are full of enthusiasm and pep. That is a good thing. But the greater thing is to gather momentum as each day goes by and not let yourself be discouraged no matter what happens, because as you soar into the skies you are writing letters of flame on the horizon certain eternal truths for the world to see: First, the indomitable courage of the Chinese people; second, the indestructible spirit of the Chinese Army; and third, the deathless soul of the Chinese nation. And so, whatever you

10

do, wherever you are, remember that such is the China which you have come to assist.

I would like all of you to get up and drink a toast to the two great sister nations facing each other across the Pacific. They now have a bond of friendship and sympathy which serves us well in the crucible of war and which will serve us equally when victory has been won.

11

(fourth installment)(sixth installment)

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Chapter 9: Heroes and Villains (Discovery)

Prev

AO3

It wasn’t the toughest akuma that they had ever faced. But even with both of them fighting, it took too long. So long that her family was sure to be suspicious. Despite the fact that she just wanted to portal back to the hotel where there would be far fewer questions, she knew she didn’t have that luxury.

“Kaalki, if I ask to go to an empty room in the manor, can you do that? I don’t wanna pop out of nowhere. I’m already dreading the questions we’re gonna get about Adrien disappearing.” Marinette asks the kwami, rolling her eyes at Adrien’s annoyed huff.

“If you had just taken me with you to begin with-”

“To the bathroom? Adrien, I know you’re not the best with social situations but even you know that’s weird, right? And besides, there’s no way Dick would’ve let you follow me. He’s hovered every time we’ve been alone.” Marinette reminds him, crossing her arms.

“We were bonding over humor!” Adrien argues.

“Sure! But I still-”

“Ladybug, I can do it. As entertaining as all of this is, the Wayne family should not be kept waiting.” Kaalki reminds her, a small smirk on their face. Marinette’s eye twitches at the reminder of her family. Okay. One problem at a time.

“Okay. I’m trusting you. Tikki, Kaalki unify. Voyage!” Marinette calls, grabbing Adrien’s hand and stepping through the portal. She glances around the room, frowning as she looks at everything. None of it made sense. It looked kind of what she would imagine from-

“Is this the Batcave?” Adrien asks, mouth wide in shock as he slowly turns in a circle.

“Kaalki, dismount.” Marinette says, glaring at the kwami the second they’re visible again. “Care to explain what’s going on?”

“You asked to go to an empty room in the manor. I simply took you to the most famous room. It truly is a crime that you’ve never been in here before.” Kaalki hums, zipping around the space.

“I’ve only been to the manor twice! And this is in the manor? Does Batman work for Mr. Wayne?” She asks, desperately trying to figure out the situation.

“LB, what if he is Batman?” Adrien asks, making her pale.

“He’d figure me out so quickly. Oh god, what are we gonna do? He’s gonna kick me out of the family and I was just starting to be able to breathe around them and think about the fact that they are my family and now I’m going to go back to being an only child and even though Dick can be annoying and I haven’t really talked a lot to the others I really wanted to get to know them and now I’ll never get the chance because I’m a failed superhero who can’t even defeat one measly villain and he’s gonna take away my Miraculous and then he’s gonna be Ladybug but then it’ll be weird and he’ll hate me even more because red is not his color but he’ll be stuck in red because that’s what Paris is used to for the Ladybug costume and we don’t want them to go into shock when I’m replaced and-”

“Who the fuck are you?” A voice asks, clearly angry. Marinette winces and turns, eyes wide when she notices the actual (REAL) gun in Jason’s hands.

“We’re not meant to be here. There was a mistake with transportation and-” Marinette starts, stumbling over her words as she tries not to panic even more.

“Likely story. Don’t fucking move. I’m calling Batman.” Jason says, glaring at the two before pulling out his phone. “Hey B, there’s a situation in the cave. Intruders. No, I have no fucking clue how they got in here. Yeah, there’s two of them. No, no it’s not them. Yeah well I kinda can’t fucking interrogate them by myself now can I?” There’s a pause. “Yeah no, not wearing that. Yeah thanks for that. Well I didn’t- Just get over here.”

“So is Batman coming?” Adrien asks, the excitement clear on his face. Marinette looks at him in annoyance. She loved the boy but sometimes, he had no sense of self preservation.

“Yeah, Batman’s coming. Why the fuck are you here?” Jason asks, the angry look on his face not matching the personality she had seen every other time she’d seen him.

“Why are we here? Why are you here?” Adrien asks, poking. Jason’s eyes narrow and his glare gets darker.

“We’re here to ask Batman for help with a situation.” Marinette blurts, shifting so that she’s slightly in front of Adrien since he kept saying things that were pissing Jason off. Jason frowns.

“Why do you need help from Batman?” He asks.

“Ladybug, Chat Noir. I’ll admit I didn’t expect to see either of you here.” A gruff voice states, walking towards them. Marinette’s eyes widen. Holy vigilante, that's Batman. And he’s not looking at her as a civilian who could be scared. Nope. Now he’s looking at her as a fellow hero and possible intruder. Oh this should be fun.

“Monsieur Batman. I apologize for our intrusion. I meant to bring us to Gotham, to speak with you, but I must have messed up. I’m truly sorry for appearing in your home like this.” She says, extending her hand for a handshake. Batman glances down at her hand, seeming to hesitate for a moment before reaching out and shaking her hand.

“As long as you are here, we might as well talk about the Paris situation. It has recently come to my attention and I’m concerned about the possibility of death in your city.” Batman says, getting straight to business.

“I’m sorry, what the actual fuck is happening in Paris? And why haven’t I heard anything about it? Actually, why hasn’t anyone heard about a situation in Paris?” Jason asks, actually glaring at Batman.

“It doesn’t concern you, Mr. Todd. You may leave now. We’ll have our meeting another time.” Batman says, his tone firm.

“The hell it doesn’t. My baby sister lives in Paris, and I’d be damned if I left her alone in some kind of hellscape where apparently there’s the possibility of a lot of death. Now can someone tell me what is going on in Paris?” Jason yells, his eyes blazing as he glares at Batman. Marinette blinks at her brother, shocked at his reaction. Did he really care that much?

“It’d probably be easier to show you. Do you mind?” Adrien asks, gesturing to the computer. Batman stiffens.

“I’ll pull it up. I’m sure you’re referring to the videos of previous fights. I have them in a folder.” He says, walking over and hitting several buttons. Before long, a video is pulled up on the gigantic screen. A video of the fight against Syren. Of course he had to choose one of the most dangerous akumas. Instead of watching the screen, Marinette watches her brother’s reactions. Flinching slightly as she hears his knuckles crack from how tightly he’s clenching his fists.

“How long has this been going on?” He asks simply, his voice much darker than she’d ever heard.

“Almost two years.” Marinette responds, frowning at him. She hadn’t known him long, and she knew it would be stupid as Ladybug, but Marinette wanted to hug her older brother. He looked pissed, sure, but underneath the initial anger, she could see the worry. And how unsure he was. She couldn’t be certain that all of the worry was aimed at her or the Paris situation, but she knew at least some of it was. And she felt bad for making him worry like that.

“And where has the Justice League been?” He asks Batman, almost snarling.

“There’s no lasting damage.” Marinette says. “Even if the Justice League had shown up, they couldn’t have done anything that Chat or I couldn’t. My power is to erase the damage, and death, done during our battles. So Monsieur Batman, you don’t have to worry about the possible death either. I assure you both, it’s fine. We could use assistance to figure out Hawkmoth’s identity though.” Marinette says, trying to move the subject away from death and injury and the rougher parts of akuma battles.

“I don’t give a damn if the damage isn’t lasting. You remember, right?” Jason asks. Marinette hesitates.

“Well, yes. But the akumatized victims don’t and-”

“No. See, I don’t care about the akumatized victims right now either. I care about the amount of death and destruction and pain my sister has had to deal with alone. What about the people who die, Ladybug? Do they remember that they died? Do they wake up after drowning or burning or being crushed to death and just be told to be thankful that it wasn’t permanent? Or do they get to forget too?” Jason asks through clenched teeth. Marinette stops, thinking of all the times buildings have fallen on her. The times she's watched friends die. The time Tikki had to take the earrings and Marinette woke up after the battle, still able to feel the metal in her chest. The time she saw a world draped in white, only one other person left in the entire world. She thinks of these times, and she sighs.

"No. They don't forget." She says, biting back the wave of emotion threatening to push her under. She can't. She has to focus. She can't break right now.

"Then I don't care about the rest of Paris. What are you doing to protect Marinette Dupain Cheng?" He asks, crossing his arms and staring her down. She blinks. She gets that he's worried, as her brother, but why would they have special protection for one person? She's about to ask when Batman speaks up instead.

"No worries, Mr. Todd. My team and I have been made aware and have prepared a security detail for Miss Dupain Cheng once she returns to Paris." Batman says simply. Marinette's eyes widen. No. Oh no. No, no, no, she can't be watched! How's she supposed to protect Paris if an American superhero and his team are stalking her to make sure she's safe?

"As a former Miraculous wielder, Marinette is already under our protection." She lies, ignoring the shocked look Adrien is giving her.

"I'm sorry, what? Former- She was a hero?!" Jason yells, the panic clear on his face.

"Yes, but she was compromised so she doesn't work with us anymore." Marinette says, hoping to calm him down. It doesn't work.

"She was compromised! And you abandoned her? What the hell is wrong with you?" He yells as he starts to pace the room.

"Mr. Todd, it might be best if you-" Batman starts, holding his hands up placatingly.

"I don't wanna fucking hear it, B. You might be okay with watching a bunch of kids run around in costumes and have near death experiences but I'm not watching it. Not again. Now whatever this meeting is can wait, because my sister is currently missing and Batman over here needs to go find her. Because we need to wrap her in some goddamned bubble wrap because apparently this family is a fucking trouble magnet. And if you two are going to be in Gotham, then you can go help look for her too." Jason says, turning and starting to storm off. He pauses and turns back to the group of heroes- vigilantes?- "And her friend Adrien. I'm not sure how we'll fund him, stupid magic light thingy. But Marinette's gonna be pissed if she gets back and her boy toy is missing." He turns and actually leaves this time. Marinette turns to Batman and raises an eyebrow. A silent question on what the next step is. Batman frowns.

"As much as I dislike taking orders from civilians, he's right. Mr. Wayne asked my team to look for Miss Dupain Cheng. I assume the two of you will stay to help." He says. Marinette shakes her head.

"Unfortunately, we're going to have to leave. But we'll be in contact." Marinette says with a quick smile before calling Kaalki's transformation and creating a portal. Repeatedly thinking 'unused bedroom in Wayne manor, she steps through without waiting for a response from Batman, tugging Adrien along. Glancing around, she sighs in relief when she realizes the Kwami didn't take them to another secret lair.

"That was intense." Adrien says, dropping his transformation.

"I need extra Camembert after that disaster." Plagg says with a smirk. Marinette drops her transformation, stifling a giggle at the annoyed look on Tikki’s face.

"It wouldn't have been a disaster if you hadn't convinced Kaalki to do that!" She says angrily. Marinette’s previous humor instantly disappears and she turns to Plagg.

"Plagg, what is she talking about?" She asks, glaring at the Kwami.

"Now, pigtails, don't do anything rash, but the Batcave was my idea." He blurts out.

"I take offense to that. I brought them there!" Kaalki exclaims with a pout.

"Yeah, but I'm the one who found out. And told you and Sugar Cube." Plagg counters making Kaalki roll their eyes.

"Oh puhlease, you wouldn't have known what it was if I hadn't followed you." They say, chin high in the air.

"So apparently Batman is looking for us. What're the odds Mr. Wayne is just working for Batman and not actually Batman himself?" Marinette asks, giving Adrien a hopeful look.

"I think they're the same odds that no one in your family will ask questions about where we were." He says with a shrug. Marinette groans.

"I can't believe my dad is Batman." She drops her head into her hands, taking a moment to breathe before a thought pops into her head.

"Do you think my brothers are the rest of them? Oh god. Damian is totally Robin, and Tim is Red Robin. Which would make Jason Red Hood 'cause Nightwing's hair is completely black. Oh my god. I'm in a family of vigilantes!" She groans, huffing in annoyance.

"What's so bad about that? They'll be even more likely to help us find Hawkmoth." Adrien says, still looking on the bright side.

"That's if they let me out of their sight. You heard Jason, and Mr. Wayne. They want to put a security detail on me and they think I'm a civilian! What’re they gonna do when they realize I’m a superhero too?” Marinette moans, various situations running through her head. She takes a few steadying breaths to try and stave off the panic. They won’t find out, right?

---

Jason kicks a chair he walks past, mumbling under his breath. Bruce hadn’t acted surprised or anything, so apparently he already knew about the situation. Knew and didn’t say shit to anyone else. Of course he did. Jason would’ve cared a few days ago, sure he would’ve. But now he cares. Because now his tiny sister is in danger and he’d be damned if he let her go back to Paris without protection. Hell, he’ll go with if he has to. Anything to keep her safe. To stop her from dying. Or, dying again. And apparently she was a hero in Paris at some point. And she was compromised. And then abandoned. What a pile of shit. Huffing in frustration, he resists the urge to run back to the cave and start shooting. Instead he walks towards his room to grab the keys he’d thrown in there earlier when he got to the manor for dinner. Turning the corner, he freezes in shock when he sees Marinette and Adrien standing there, Adrien gently patting her back as she looks close to panicked.

“Marinette!” Jason calls, running towards her and sweeping her up in a big hug. He didn’t want to let her go. If he let her go, she’d go back to Paris. She’d have to deal with a supervillain and death and horrible things. She was too young for that. He, of all people, would know.

“Jay. Can’t breathe. Please.” She chokes out. Jason lets her down, then glares at her.

“Where the hell have you been? I thought you were going to the bathroom?” He asks, frowning as she grows even paler.

“Uh, er, I was?” She says, sounding more like a question. He narrows his eyes.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Yes?” She asks, eye twitching. Jason sighs.

“If you don’t wanna tell me Pixie Pop, you don’t have to. But you are gonna have to tell B.” He says.

“Batman?!” She shrieks, eyes wide. Jason shakes his head, panic welling up.

“No, why- B’s what I call Bruce. Why would you think I was talking about Batman?” He asks, gesturing wildly.

“Because that’s what you called Batman on the phone!” She counters, freezing the second the words are out of her mouth.

“Wait, what? When did you-” Jason stops, a horrible feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. No. She can’t.

“Wait no, I- oh crap.” She mumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“You’re Ladybug.” Jason says, his ears ringing as he looks down at his sister. Well fuck.

---

Dick sighs, turning around in a circle as he looks at the closing shops around him. Where could Marinette have gone? Why did she leave? If she was overwhelmed they would have driven her back to her hotel. She didn’t have to try and walk back by herself. Especially this late. And in Gotham of all places. His phone ringing tugged him from his thoughts and he answered without even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” He says, trying hard to push down the worry and focus on the phone call.

”Hey Dick. I found them.” Jay says, sounding tired. Dick lets out a sigh of relief.

“Where were they?” He asks.

”In the manor. Look, I think we all need to have a talk. You should probably come home. And grab Replacement and Demon Spawn on the way back.” Jason says. Dick frowns. How were they in the manor? They all looked in the manor, they were not there.

“Okay, yeah. On my way.” Dick says instead. This should be interesting.

---

Marinette tries to ignore the burning stare from Jason as she grips onto Adrien’s hand. This could be a huge mistake, but it could also help them find Hawkmoth. And take him down for good. The idea of that is too great to give up. So no matter how much it makes her want to puke with nerves, she’d tell her family the truth. That she’s Ladybug. She was sure they’d understand, being the infamous Batfamily and everything.

“Sorry about that, Timmy insisted on grabbing some coffee on the way back. Where’s B?” Dick asks, and Marinette winces at the nickname. Why her brothers thought it was a good idea to call Mr. Wayne ‘B’ as both Batman and Bruce Wayne was beyond her. They’d had secret identities much longer (though after today she wasn’t sure how).

“Now that we are all here, could you explain why you insisted on this meeting, Jason?” Mr. Wayne asks, sat in the same chair he’d been in when the evening had first started. Marinette glances around at her siblings, smiling softly back at Cass who seemed to be trying to reassure her without signing or saying anything.

“Marinette is Ladybug.” Jason blurts out, instead of dropping the bomb slowly like they’d discussed. Silence. Just as Mr. Wayne opens his mouth, Marinette blurts out:

“Yeah, well you’re the Batfamily!” Oops.

Next

Tag List: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @imarivers8