#and I have decided that I fully don't care

[dinosaurcharcuterie]

The reason the high tops work is that the canvas and the lacing limit "wobble". If you need more support, look for a shoe with a firm/hard counter (the hard, half moon shaped bit that goes against the heel). It's like stabilizing a house's foundation instead of the listing upper floor. You can still combine this with an ankle high shoe of any kind, but if your lower legs swell, you can get a low sneaker or even ballet flats that will stabilize you. Th!nk, El Naturalista, Wolky and Rollingsoft/Gabor are a few brands that have this feature on durable shoes with a modern design. Gabor does widths. If you find the top of the counter is cutting into your skin, go to a cobbler and kindly ask if they could run a hammer over the sharp edge a few times. No shoes are worth bleeding for.

If you've got chronic diarrhea, a bidet will be kinder to your backside than toilet paper. If you can't access even a travel bidet, or forgot it at home while traveling, I once got the advice "at some point you just take care of the worst of it and take a shower". Not only is this true, but 10 minutes of hot water on your lower half while breathing in warm, moist air tends to also calm down (at least a little) whatever in your belly has decided to run on horse software today.

One good thing that came from covid is that the TP shortage magically revealed unto recycled TP manufacturers that they can get quilty TP money by making quilty TP. If you do find yourself using a lot of toilet paper, look into finding some high quality 100% recycled stuff. Less because of saving the rain forest, or the lacking logic in buying new material with the intent to throw it out, but because it's less likely to clog your toilet. If you're running to the toilet every ten minutes, you are not having a day where you will have a good time with the plunger, or concoctions involving dish soap and boiling water.

If you're the kind of person who can get away with wearing dresses: you can hide a lot of bloated tummy under an A-line dress. Also, people think you put effort in your appearance if you wear a dress. I've got a few in knit jersey with flutter sleeves for days when I need to see a doctor for a vaccine, blood sample or BP reading. I've also got a few ankle length dresses if I don't have wfh days left but can't fit into anything but oversized jogging pants. You can sneak the jogging pants on underneath if it's cold.

If you've got a really bad bloat day and your underwear won't fit, but going commando is not an option... Adult diapers are surprisingly accommodating to waist fluctuations. Most supermarkets and drug stores have them near the period products. They are fully plastic, so either make sure you have times where you can let your skin air dry, or look into ways to prevent diaper rash for your skin type. They're also good for anxiety about soiling yourself if you've had accidents when sick/exhausted/in too much pain.

Sometimes you need a pain killer. Sometimes you need a spasm reliever. Ask about this to your doctor if you have cramps or muscle pain that has the same response, or less, to ibuprofen as it does to m&m's. Some of them work on smooth muscle, like in the GI system and uterus, others work on skeletal muscle, like those in the abdominal wall and limbs.

Pregnancy pillows are a friggin godsend for sleeping on your side after abdominal surgery or if you're prone to joint pain. If those are too expensive, too difficult to find or too heavy... I've used an Ikea Blåhaj in a pinch. The big, 100cm one. Put a cotton T-shirt or pillow cover over it in summer if its polyester body gets too warm.

Endocrine system making you feel like you're overheating even after everything has been checked out and deemed fine? Sweating a lot? Get some natural fiber clothes or underlayers with a high linen content. Or hemp. Or ramie. These are fibers from plant bast cells (instead of cotton fluff or pulped plant waste, like viscose or bamboo), and are better than their already comfier brethren at absorbing and wicking away sweat. They're also great at slowing down BO. You'll still feel hot, but not being sticky, stinky and hot will help. They don't have to be woven clothes or fancy clothes. My 55/45 hemp-cotton blend T-shirts from Up-Rise usually go for standard-affordable slow fashion prices... But they have decent promo codes at least three times a year, so at least half of my shirts were bought at "will not immediately dissolve" fast fashion prices.

The best medical aid or medication is the one you can use. Talk to your doctor/pharmacist/ortho tech if something isn't working for you. That's telling you doctor how bad side effects are, sure, I've mentioning I couldn't take a liquid medication on time because I needed to be near cutlery I could sanitize to take it, and got switched to the tablet formula. My compression wear compliance in hospital skyrocketed by being switched to knee-high ones as opposed to thigh-high. I've found out my tech can separately bill my insurance for the orthodic shoe inserts prescribed, and me for the "medically unnecessary", extra thin, carbon fiber witchcraft that means I can buy off the rack shoes.

I've been disabled for almost 29 years. Here's what I've learned.

Tablets sink and capsules float. Separate out your tablets and capsules when you go to take them. Tip your head down when taking capsules and up when taking tablets. Liquigels don't matter, they kinda stay in the middle of whatever liquid is in your mouth.

If your pill tastes bad, coat it with a bit of butter or margarine. I learned this from my mom, who learned it from a pharmacist.

Being in pain every day isn't normal. Average people experience pain during exceptional moments, like when they stub their toe or jam their finger in a door, not when they sit cross-legged.

Make a medical binder. Make multiple medical binders. I have a small one that comes with me to appointments and two big ones that stay at home, one with old stuff and one with more recent stuff.

Find your icons. Some of mine include Daya Betty (drag queen with diabetes), Stef Sanjati (influencer with Waardenburg syndrome and ADHD), and Hank Green (guy with ulcerative colitis who... does a bunch of stuff). They don't have to be disabled in the same way as you. They don't even have to be real people. Put their pictures up somewhere if you want; I've been meaning to decorate my medical binders with pictures of my icons.

Take a bin, box, bag, basket, whatever and fill it with items to cope with. This can be stuff for mentally coping like colouring books or play clay or stuff for physically coping like pain medicine or physio tape.

Decorate your shit! My cane for at home has a plushie backpack clip hanging from the end of the handle and my cane for going places is covered in stickers. All of my medical binders have fun scrapbooking paper on the outside. Sometimes, I put stickers and washi tape on my inhalers and pill bottles. I used my Cricut to decorate my coping bin with quotes from my icons, like "I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se" and "I need you to be angrier with that bell".

If a flare-up is making you unable to eat or keep food down, consider going to the ER. A pharmacist once told me that since my eye flares can make me so nauseous that I cannot eat, then I need to go to the hospital when that happens.

Cola works wonders for nausea. I have mini cans of Diet Pepsi in my coping bin.

Shortbread is one of the only things I can eat when nauseous. Giant Tiger sells individually-wrapped servings of shortbread around Christmas or the British import store sells them year-round. I also keep these in my coping bin.

Unless it violates a pain contract or something, don't be afraid to go behind your doctor's back to get something they are refusing you. I got my cardiologist referral by getting in with a different NP at my primary care clinic than who I usually saw. I switched from Seroquel to Abilify by visiting a walk-in.

If you have a condition affecting your abdomen in some way (GI issues, reproductive problems, y'know) then invest in track pants that are too big. I bought some for my laparoscopy over a year ago and they've been handy for pelvic pain days, too. I've also heard loose pants are good for after colonoscopies.

Do whatever works, even if it's weird. I've sat on the floor of the Eaton Centre to take my pills. I've shoved heating pads down my front waistband to reach my uterus.

High-top Converse are good for weak ankles. I almost exclusively wear them.

You can reuse your pill bottles for stuff. I use my jumbo ones to store makeup sponges and my long skinny ones to hold a travel-size amount of Q-Tips.

Just because your diagnostics come back with nothing, it doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Maybe you were checking the wrong thing, or the diagnostic tool wasn't sensitive enough. I have bradycardia episodes even though multiple cardiac tests caught nothing. I probably have endometriosis even though my gynecologist didn't see anything.

You can bring your comfort item to appointments, and it's generally a green flag when someone talks to you about it. I brought a Squishmallow turkey (named Ulana) to my laparoscopy and they had her wearing my mask when I woke up. I brought a Build-A-Bear cat (named Blinx) to another procedure and a nurse told me that everyone in the hall on the way to the procedure room saw him and were talking about how cute he was. Both of those ended up being positive experiences and every person who talked to me about my plushies was nice to me. If you don't feel comfortable having it visible to your provider during the appointment, you can hide it in your bag and just know it's there, or if you're in a video appointment, you can hold it below frame in your lap.

Get a small bucket, fill it with stuff, and stick it in your bed (if you have room for it). I filled a bucket with Ensure, juice boxes, oatmeal bars, lotion, my rescue inhaler, etc. in October 2023 in anticipation of my laparoscopy and I still have it in my bed as of January 2025.

If your disability impacts your impulse control (e.g. ADHD, bipolar disorder), you should consider setting limits around your spending -- no more than X dollars at a time, nothing online unless it's absolutely necessary, and so on. Or, run these purchases by someone you trust before committing to them; I use my BFF groupchat to help talk sense into myself when I buy stuff.

Feel free to add on what you've learned about disability!

[ebsmind]

⏾ SOMEWHERE IN THE HAZE, GOT A SENSE I'VE BEEN BETRAYED | jack hughes x singer!reader

summary : how y/n found out vince cheated the first time

word count : 1.3k

warning(s) : cheating (poor baby y/n ☹️), arguing, mentions of k wording Vince, Vince is a fucking asshole (sorry lol), crying (i hate to see my baby sad)

a/n : AHHHHHHH okay okay this is my first written part and I hope I did it justice bc as much as I love angst, it's hard to write it! anyways, I'm glad I decided to do this because it challenges me to not only go deeper for yall to understand reader it also kinda makes you see what she had to put up with (what the fuck vince) okay that's all I had to say! send me asks about this series bc I love talking about teehee OKAY BYE ILY

series masterlist

The stars glisten upon the midnight-colored skies. The clock that sits on your nightstand on the right side of the bed, has officially struck midnight, signifying a new day. You turn a page of the book you're reading, And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie, a re-read. The early January winds whip through the city of Seattle. Draped upon you is a lavender-colored fuzzy knitted blanket. Handmade by Vince's mom, Tracy.

In the far distance, you can hear the water leaving the showerhead; Vince is taking a shower. The thought of joining him crosses your mind, but you shake the thought away and continue reading. You go to turn the 129th page, but Vince's phone dings before the next page is revealed. It takes a small fragment of a moment for your eyes to find where it sits. Once you do, you make a B-line to its location. You don't notice how his phone was placed face down until you reach the dresser.

Your eyes burn holes into the back of the phone. The clock is ticking. The more time passes, the less time you have to decide whether or not you're going to snoop through your boyfriend's phone. Your internal dialogue fights between two actions: Pick up the phone and read the text messages waiting for a response, or ignore it and continue reading your book. The little devil on your right shoulder wins the battle.

Before you even think about any consequences if Vince were to catch you, you find your right hand already reaching for the phone. The screen illuminates your face, reflecting against the blue lenses that sit across the bridge of your nose. The first thing you notice is the time, 12:34 am. Who in the hell is texting him at this time? The second thing you notice is how Vince no longer has you as his lock screen. Instead, you're faced with a picture of him on a golf course with some of his buddies. If it weren't for the worry about who was texting Vince this late a night, you probably would have cared. The third and final thing you notice is the simple "D" that had given him a notification four minutes ago. You don't have to unlock Vince's phone to read the message, FaceID recognized your face the moment you picked up the phone.

D

goodnight, can't wait to see you tomorrow 💋

*one image*

Waves of anxiety hit you like a tsunami. You reread the text message over and over, thinking that it'll change every time your eyes scan the last half of the message. It's imprinted into your mind, no matter how hard you try, it will never go away. The thought of pressing the message to fully see the picture makes bile rise up in your throat. Knowing it most likely contained some type of nude picture. Whether it was a picture of some nice expensive midnight blue lingerie, maybe even clear water teal, or a picture of the girl's tits, it was going to taint you for eternity. You weren't stupid. Things like this happen to stupid girls, but not you. It couldn't.

You don't hear the water coming to an abrupt stop or Vince walk into the room until he questions what you're doing. "Why do you have my phone?"

Your head whips up to where Vince stands, at the door frame that connects his master bedroom to the master bathroom. His light caramel curls rest on his forehead, beads of water drip down his chest, and his right hand rests on the knot in the towel that's wrapped around his waist. You don't realize the tears that started falling just moments ago until Vince asks, "Why are you crying?"

The gut-wrenching sadness you once felt slowly simmers down and a deep rust color of rage clouds your vision. Without delay, you chuck Vince's phone at his chest and scoff.

"Why do you fucking think?" You wipe the tears that stream down your face with the sleeve of your cream-colored cotton long sleeve, mascara ruins the once-clean shirt. Vince contemplates whether he wants to deny or openly be truthful with you, he unfortunately chooses the first option.

"Babe, come on!" He looks away from the lasers that are practically coming out of your eyes. He knows deep down he's screwed.

"No, Vince! You fucking listen to me! You better be so fucking grateful that I leave first thing in the morning because I'd probably kill you if I didn't!" Lungs working overtime so you can get all of that out in one go. Vince still stands at the doorframe, he doesn't plan on moving anytime soon.

"Who is she?" The question leaves your mouth under a breath, afraid of the answer that might leave Vince's mouth.

"I'm not telling you that." It leaves Vince's mouth at lightning speed, but you move even faster. Your feet carry you rapidly to where Vince stands, once he's in arm's reach, your hands start hitting his chest. You switch between curling your hands into a fist and punching, to slapping his chest. Uncontrollable sobs leave the depths of your chest, and tears cloud your vision to the point where you can only make out the silhouette of the man you never would have thought would betray you.

"I lo-lo-loved you! An-and you d-d-do this to me?!" Your sobs interrupt your ability to say the sentence in one go. Your body finally begins to feel the heartbreak. Your chest and nostrils burn, your head finally starts to pound, and your legs start to feel like jelly. Letting the sobs control your body and legs giving out, you finally accept defeat.

Your eyes close and you start to drop to the ground, this is a fight you aren't going to win. You wait for your body to hit the ground but it never comes, instead you're met with Vince's damp hands on your arms. He steadies you, "Woah, hey there. You're okay I got you."

Wasting no time, you shove the 6'0 man off of you, and before he can say anything else you spit out, "Don't fucking touch me."

Vince puts his hands up in defeat, "Okay! okay, I won't." Following Vince's response, you dash your way to the front door. The professional hockey player follows hot in your trail.

"Hey hey hey! Where are you going?" He tries to grab a hold of your shoulder to turn you around, your reflexes do you wonder and you shove his hand with all the willpower you have left. Disregarding Vince's question, you take your purse and suitcase -which had been placed right next to the door after you finished packing before you got into bed.

"I'm staying at a hotel for the night." Exhaustion hits your body, a bed -not Vince's- sounds amazing right now.

"No, stay. You leave in the morning."

"I'd rather be in some cheap hotel than spend another night with you." The backhanded comment leaves the boy stunned, you take it as your chance to finally leave. You unlock the door and guide your suitcase to follow you out the door. Vince never intervenes. You don't even bother looking back when you slam the door in his face.

Adrenaline courses through your veins, it doesn't dissipate until you're sat on a hotel bed. The mattress is hard, but you've gotten used to it when touring throughout your career. You take notice that the comforter won't do you any justice during the night but that isn't the first thing that's disappointed you today. Tears that stopped falling start to pour again, your chest aches and your heart feels like it's missing. You take a moment to finally acknowledge everything that had happened 25 minutes ago, and once you forcefully come to terms with it, you fall into a deep sleep. Not noticing the 64 missed calls and messages from Vince.

[binarystarhero]

Dunno if this has been asked already but what was Haley's life like growing up? What led them to become a burglar?

I am actually surprised I have never talked about Haley's backstory. Anyways, here it is 💕

Haley, (whose birth name is Harini) was raised as the eldest daughter (nonbinary now) in a Desi (Tamil) family, growing up Haley always had numerous hefty expectations placed on their shoulders without much reward for their efforts. Haley was raised in Chennai, but when accepted into a prestigious university program abroad (where our story takes place), their parents pressured them to enroll. This program was at a top university but extremely expensive. Despite being somewhat pressured into the decision, Haley didn't want their parents to have to worry about money, so they lied and said it was a full ride scholarship.

Haley still needed to pay for the program. So they decided in this new place they would go by a fake name to create a degree of separation between their identity and what people around them knew them as. This name 'Haley' was chosen when their younger sister referred to them as it as a joke about becoming westernized. Using their ability (which they discovered and honed from a young age) Haley would burgal what they needed to make tuition payments, always doing extensive research into the targets and proper fences before taking any action. Eventually, their work was noticed by the general public for it's mystery and flawless execution. Never greedy, always a perfectionist, always picking the best targets that were never sympathetic figures in the public eye, Haley never made a mistake, they were raised not to, so of course they would excel at this too.

They have since graduated from the program where for a few years after they worked at a local coffee shop and then eventually opened up their own. They have since become stable enough to not need to burgal, but then became headhunted by Miles's family to train him into a villain (something Hal couldn't exactly say no to).

One of my favorite things about Haley is their 'reluctant helper' aspect of their personality. For example, if there is a stray cat they say that it has to be owned by someone else so they won't take care of it, but they still feed it, and if it's there tomorrow they will feed it and make it a little shelter, and if it's there for another day they will let it inside... and so on until they are basically fully caring for it. This is kinda how Haley ended up being close to MC. Despite Haley giving off an 'I don't care' vibe, caretaking is in their nature and they can't help but to take responsibility. But they still may feel frustrated or slightly bitter that THEY are the person that had to because others either push it on them or aren't competent enough to trust.

Haley also has one younger brother and a youngest sister.

[spiderb00]

- FAM OUT #5

Sophia Laforteza x reader  fam/kids out masterlist

“on a quiet night, no one expected it, but something was wrong with Yoonchae. And now, you and Sophia will face it together” 

Genre – fluff, angst?        Warnings – no one knows who Evie is 

Now playing – Unstable, by Justin Bieber Ft. The Kid LAROI 

The moonlight coming through Yoonchae's window was the only thing that allowed her to see in the dark room, and even though it wasn't much, the maknae still didn't care. To tell the truth, Yoonchae wasn't even fully aware of where she really was. Was she at home? Was she at the Kats'? Was she at Yn and Sophia's? She had no idea. The pain and fever spoke louder than her thoughts.   

Getting out of bed with some difficulty, Yoonchae tried to walk to the bedroom door. Holding her stomach, the younger girl moaned in pain, stopping walking and leaning on the bedroom walls for a moment.  

“Mom...”   

It was the only thing that echoed off the walls of Yn's house, all the rooms extremely quiet except for the moans and complaints of pain coming from Yoonchae's room.   

“Mom, please...” Still without an answer, Yoonchae continued walking, opening the bedroom door and trying to walk down the dark hallway.   

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, you were resting your back comfortably on the counter, drinking water. Thirst had caught you in your sleep, and as quiet as the whole house was, you could have sworn you saw someone muttering something. Deciding to see if everything was all right, you left the empty bottle on the counter, Scooby following you faithfully while Max stayed in bed with Sophia.  

Starting up the stairs, you heard another moan of pain, which sounded a lot like Yoonchae, and before you could even hurry, Max's bark echoed through the house, signaling that he had gotten up to investigate what was wrong, just like you.   

“Mom...”  

That was all you needed to hear to know it was Yoonchae's voice. Hurrying up the stairs, you found the girl at your bedroom door, slightly bent over as if in pain.   

“Yoonchae?” You said, coming close to the maknae, putting your hand on her shoulder.   

“Mom, please, my belly hurts.”   

Not even having time to think about what the girl had called you, you put your hand on Yoonchae's forehead, seeing how burning she was.   

“God, you're burning up with fever, Yoonchip.” As soon as you closed your mouth, the younger girl's body fell apart around you.   

“YOONCHAE!” 

Quickly taking the little girl into your arms, you opened the bedroom door, placing her in the empty space of the bed. Max and Scooby were barking, as if they knew exactly what was wrong in the room, and you quickly tried to wake Sophia without taking your eyes off Yoonchae.   

“Sophia!” You tried, shaking your girlfriend lightly, and trying to keep Yoonchae awake. “Come on baby! Yoonchae, don't close your eyes!”   

It was all too much, and you didn't want to panic. No, you had to stay calm.   

“Mom, please, my belly hurts a lot.” Yoonchae said, her voice hoarse, like you'd never heard it before.   

“I know baby, I'm waking Sophia up.” You said, trying to calm the girl down and trying to wake up the Filipina, who seemed to be very far from the real world in her sleep.   

“Sophia!” Calling out once more, you moved a little away from Yoonchae, walking over to your girlfriend's side of the bed and shaking her harder.   

“WAKE UP!” Stunned, Sophia woke up in a jump, seeing you standing next to her on the bed. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, Sophia narrowed her eyes, the digital clock reading 02:34 in the morning.  

“Baby, we have a problem.”  

Returning to the side of the bed where Yoonchae was, you grabbed the younger girl's forehead again, begging the heavens that her temperature was more normal.   

“ Damn, she's still burning.” You said, putting pillows under Yoonchae's head and looking at Sophia. “Baby, Yoonchae's burning up with fever, I've been calling you for a while. We've got to get to the hospital,” you said, barely having time to breathe.   

Quickly getting out of bed, Sophia finally understood what was going on. She took Yoonchae in her arms and felt her temperature with her hands.  

“Mom, no hospital, please.” Yoonchae said to Sophia, making the older woman look questioningly in your direction, seeing you shrug and go into the closet to put on clothes other than pajamas.   

“Stay down, baby. I'll be back in a minute.” Sophia said, leaving Yoonchae lying down and walking hurriedly towards you.   

“She called me 'mom'.” Sophia said, as she entered the closet you shared, watching you take off your old hoodie and put on a more presentable sweater.   

“I know, she called me that too, I think she's delirious with fever.” You said, finishing putting on your sweater. “We have to get her to hospital as soon as possible, baby.”   

“I know. Can you take her to the car while I pack a bag with our stuff?” Sophia asked, putting on one of your sweaters and exchanging the shorts she was wearing for pants.   

“I'll wait for you outside.” You said, giving Sophia a kiss and heading towards where Yoonchae was.   

Carrying Yoonchae bridal style to the car, you gently placed the girl in the back seat of the car, trying to remember if she had eaten something wrong, or done anything that had left her in this state. You were stressed, you knew the girls were working hard for their comeback, but you didn't want to think of it as exhaustion, you didn't want to have to shout at anyone for overworking a seventeen-year-old girl.  

“Mom?!”   

“I'm here baby, it's okay. Sophia will be down in a few minutes.” You said, running your hands through Yoonchae's hair as you tried to get her to be quiet.   

“Are we really going to the hospital?” The younger girl asked, her eyes downcast, and if you could, you would transfer everything she was feeling to you.   

“I'm sorry, sweetheart, but your fever is too high.” You saw a small tear run down Yoonchae's eye, and wiping it away, you kissed the maknae on the forehead. “Hey, don't cry, I'm here with you.”  

“Can I call Evie when I'm there?” Yoonchae asked, making you look confused. And before you could ask who 'Evie' is, Sophia was running to the car, telling you to drive. 

“Sophia is with her, I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on.” You said into the phone, Yoonchae's parents on the other side of the line. “The doctors have given her some medication, just enough to bring down her high fever and they're investigating where the stomach ache is coming from, but it looks like it's just something she ate.”   

Walking back and forth in the hospital hallway, you had your phone stuck to your right ear, Yoonchae's parents were calm on the other side of the line, a stark contrast to how you were a few minutes ago. Despite everything, their calmness made you start to calm down too, and thanks to the hospital, Yoonchae had stabilized and stopped “ delirious”.  

“I trust you and Sophia, Yn. Just keep sending me updates and if she doesn't get better we'll buy the first plane ticket to Los Angeles.” Yoonchae's mother said, hearing your tired sigh on the other end of the line.   

“I just... got scared. I try not to show it to Sophia, or to Yoonchae, but I was so scared.” You said, tears welling up in your eyes.   

“Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. I know, it's scary, but it just shows me how much you care about my daughter, and I wanted to say thank you, to you and Sophia. Thank you for taking such good care of my Yoonchae. You'll be great mothers one day.”   

A solitary tear fell from your eyes. Maybe life really was preparing you and Sophia for the future. Damn, you couldn't wait for the future.   

“Now go and get some rest, and don't forget to text me.”   

“I'll tell Yoonchae to call you when she gets better.” You said, starting to say goodbye to Mrs. Jeong.   

Hanging up the phone, you leaned back against the wall, your head falling back against the wall as you let out a big sigh. It was 4:23 AM and you had never driven so fast in your entire life. You were tired, sleepy, but you were so relieved, Yoonchae was safe, and you would do it all over again if you had to.   

Sitting in one of the chairs in the hallway, you waited. The doctor had said that it was best for only one person to go in with Yoonchae, and Sophia offered so quickly that you couldn't deny it. Just as your eyes were about to close, you heard the door in front of you open, and then close with a satisfying click.   

“Her fever has gone down considerably, and the pain is gone.” Sophia said, taking a seat next to you on the left. “She finally managed to sleep, so I came to see how you were.”  

Giving your girlfriend a slight smile, you grabbed her right hand, where the ring you gave her - when she was still at the Dream Academy - rested.   

“I've called her parents, and also the Kats, everything will be fine.” you said, leaving a kiss on Sophia's hand, on top of where the ring rested.   

“I know. When you're with me, everything works out. You give me strength, Yn.” Sophia said, lightly dragging the chair closer to you and resting her head on your shoulder. “I always manage to stay calm because you're always there to calm me down.”   

Looking at your hands together, you thought about how much you loved Sophia, and that you wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. You hated things like that happening, but when you had Sophia by your side, everything seemed to soften, and that despair disappeared, you simply became a thousand times stronger when you were with Sophia. And while she thought you were her strength, only you knew that your strength actually came from her. It was inevitable, you completed each other.   

“Do you want to see her?” Sophia asked, lifting her head from your shoulder before she fell asleep right there.   

Shaking your head, you both got up, going to the room Yoonchae was in. Opening the door, you both tried not to make a sound, but failed miserably when the door creaked open and woke the younger girl.   

“Sorry, baby. That was just the two of us trying to be discreet.” Sophia said, making Yoonchae laugh slightly.   

“Hey, are you feeling better?” You asked, coming close and smoothing Yoonchae's mussed hair.   

“Yeah, I don't know what that was about, but I hope I never have to go through that again.” The younger girl said, relaxing into your caresses on her head.  

“Yeah, you gave us quite a scare. Do you remember anything?” You asked.  

“I was very confused, but I know I called you both mom.” Yoonchae said, her cheeks immediately turning a shade of pink. “Sorry about that.”   

“Yoonchip, you don't have to apologize.” Sophia says, reaching over and taking the maknae's hand in hers.   

“It's just... I love you both very much, and you're always looking out for me. I just think I projected a bit...” Yoonchae said, putting her free hand on her face to cover her red cheeks.  

“We love you very much, Yoonchae.” You said, taking the hand that covered her face. “You'll always be our daughter.” You said, in a playful tone, making Sophia agree.  

“Thanks guys.” 

“All right, how about I see if there's anything for us to eat for breakfast, huh?” You said, moving away a little to go towards the bedroom door.   

“I'll be back soon, Fam.” You said, making a peace sign - which made Yoonchae laugh and Sophia sneer at you - before walking out the door.   

And for a minute, thoughts of a family took over your mind, maybe you should start planning your wedding to Sophia, maybe look at engagement rings, it doesn't matter if it's too soon, you wanted everything to be perfect.   

Taken by these thoughts and the whole situation, you forgot one important detail...  

Who the hell is Evie? 

Hi guys, how are you? I hope you're all well.

Evie is closer than you think!!!

I missed writing for Fam out so much, I wrote this chapter in two hours (I think). But I hope you all like it as much as I did.

Actually, the plot of this chapter came from one of my anons, <3 anon, here's the request, if you're interested in reading it.

<3 anon is a very frequent anon here on the blog and even helped me create Evie, so much love to this anon!

I feel like I've said too much, so I'll end here. I'm excited to write the next chapters, but for now I'm going to put off some other requests.

xoxo, spider.

[everestgale]

Skeptic for the ask thingy? :D

I'm getting through these so slowly 😭 Sorry for the wait! Time to ramble about everyone's favorite detective bird-

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

favorite thing about them

Weirdly, it's the contrast between how intelligent and logical Skeptic is as a character vs. how absurd and irrational the Construct is. The way Skeptic fights and seeks universal singular truth in a world that, by design, does not have any... which was so masterfully highlighted in the Cage and the new Den. I remember genuinely exclaiming "SKEPTIC NO, STOP-" when the tunnel began collapsing (though in fairness, Hero is the one who started it). And the way Skeptic blamed himself for not "thinking it through," because that's how he thinks the world around him should work:

"Why for the love of everything did I not think about the stability of the tunnels?! I'm supposed to be smarter than this! I'm supposed to have a plan for everything."

And the entire dialogue with Hero following that line, too-

...Long story short, there is something very tragic but incredibly appealing about putting a character, who is all about facts, logic, and deduction, into a world that shifts based on your perception where nothing is certain. Sorry Skeptic, love you Skeptic </3

[What's up with all these asks getting so long... more under the cut </3]

least favorite thing about them

Rewritten and deleted lines from the Prisoner. Hands down. It's one of the few things I dislike about the DLC, and I choose to not accept it as canon. I really, really miss that triumphant "I knew it!" followed by "She couldn't tip her hand to Him. He wouldn't have let us leave." It really highlighted Skeptic's intelligence, along with an innate desire to trust the Prisoner, to think of her as someone with a plan. She wouldn't just cut off her own head like that, and he knew it.

I understand that this was done to make the lead-up to the Cage easier / more natural... but I feel like there were other ways to do it! Hero is right there, and he just watched Prisoner cut her head off, he could be disturbed and panicking about the whole situation and really want to leave, which would feel quite natural too! And then perhaps Skeptic was sure that Prisoner had a plan, but after you choose to leave her behind... he isn't so sure anymore, which could lead to him slowly losing his mind and devolving during the Cage. That would've been perfect, at least in my opinion!

Honorable mention goes to the fact that, even after the Pristine Cut, he still feels a little underutilized to me. I talked about it in my Paranoid character ask, but Deconstructed Damsel -> HEA should've had Skeptic instead of Paranoid (T v T)

favorite line

"You have the attention span of a fly. How are we supposed to unravel the mysteries of this place if you're so easily distracted by empty promises?"

Honestly I feel you, Hero, I also have the attention span of a fly-

And of course, how can I not mention: "Yes, yes, don't believe a word she says. Just go in, take the knife, and do what you're supposed to. Wink."

brOTP

I already talked about how I really like the Grey Brothers (Skeptic + Smitten) dynamic in Smitten's post, it's very fun to imagine these two as very different people who have very little in common... but who still care about each other.

But I also want to mention Skeptic + Hunted. I liked the idea of them being comfortable in each other's spaces even before the extended Den. And with them working together so well in the Den post-Pristine Cut, I think they would have a pretty close friendship.

Everest trying really hard to explain a dynamic they like, without resorting to just "they cool. me like them"-

OTP

For the record, I HC my Skeptic as aroace (or demiromantic asexual, I haven't fully decided yet). That will not stop my QPR-Skeptunist from completely taking over my brain <3

There is something very appealing about their dynamic - Opportunist is trying to get on Skeptic's "good side" and is interested in how intelligent Skeptic is (and how he could utilize that intelligence for his schemes), while Skeptic is curious about Opportunist and that rat brain of his (/aff), trying to see what's beneath those layers and layers of masks that Oppy likes to wear. In a way, they are both almost trying to outsmart one another, but from a place of curiosity... which could lead them to slowly enjoy each other's company :]

Also, this ship is really funny, and it's hilarious to imagine all the stupid scenarios they find themselves in- OH, and I wrote this on them like a month ago:

"I do genuinely feel like they would, not always but often, enjoy each other's company and yap - we all know that Skeptic is listening to Oppy's endless rambles to understand that gremlin mind of his, but I feel like he would come to like Oppy's weird plans and logic as a sort of 'new perspective' - and Oppy really appreciates someone acknowledging 'his genius,' and maybe in turn, he would also listen to Skeptic's esoteric rambles on stenography (it feels like they would be interesting, and depending on the topic, Oppy could actually be genuinely interested in Skeptic's yap in like a "oh, this would be helpful for my next scheme" kind of way)"

...I like this ship way too much for how little they interact in the game (which is "not at all")

Honorable mention almost goes to ParaSkep, courtesy of @/wintergrofyuri and @/itsonlypolite. It's so close to clicking with me (it feels like a dynamic I would like, I want to like them)... but it's just barely not it, I don't know what exactly, but something is missing / just not quite clicking with me (T v T)

nOTP

Don't think I have any nOTPs for Skeptic! I haven't seen any ship with him that I disliked :]

random headcanon

I already mentioned like 3 headcanons in this post: the fact that my Skeptic is aroace (or demiromantic ace), the fact that my Skeptic knows shorthand (and writes exclusively in it), the fact that Skeptic is actually a yapper who likes to explain and go in-depth on the topics he finds interesting... /silly

Let's add another one! I like the idea of a linguistics nerd Skeptic, who is really into the etymology of words (I talked about it in this post where I talked about voice's hobbies!), sounds like the kind of thing Skeptic would be interested in.

Are any of these HCs based on anything from the game? Nope! These are all entirely based on ✨ vibes ✨.

unpopular opinion

To be honest, I don't know what counts as an "unpopular opinion" for Skeptic. I don't think I have any? At least none that I feel strongly about, most of my opinions about Skeptic are either directly based on the lines from the game OR are completely irrelevant silly HCs based on nothing but my own likes lol

song i associate with them

I very rarely listen to just instrumental music (outside of lo-fi and a couple specific artists)... but none of the songs I listen to really fit Skeptic. And so my first instinct is... the original Objection! theme from Phoenix Wright-

Also Open the Game by Jiro. Not the kind of music I usually listen to, but a friend suggested it to me as "music that fits Skeptic" a while ago, and I agree with my friend, I think it really suits him in terms of musical style :]

favorite picture of them

...I'm going to be honest, I'm currently debating if I should give Skeptic a major re-design (because something about his current design just irks me). But if I had to pick an image for Skeptic that I made, it would be this-

...I don't think I shared this before (I probably will in a doodle dump of "voices in dresses" sometime in the future), but this is Skeptic in Alice in Wonderland's dress. A few friends and I joked too much about how awful of a time Skeptic would have in Wonderland, and so this was born!

[trifargo]

proposing some kind of alternate 2/2, where the thieves decided to check on joker just to make sure he's not tempted by maruki's deal, barged in to the cafe, and found out that akechi's life on limbo. more in cut

so if you ask me, i actually enjoyed their rivalry relationship a lot! but i also think it's placed in an awkward situation: the thieves don't hate him, especially because he wasn't fully at fault, but also i'm sure some of them will hold grudge or mixed feelings about him (and i think this bleeds into the writers too*). or in case of royal trio (which interactions i also enjoyed, but have a catch:), it's kinda funny how sumire doesn't actually know what happened to akechi in depth.

it makes sense for their relationship to be more "secluded/secretive" from the team, but also this is why i find it to be rocky if their relationship continue further, be it platonic or romantic, whatever you prefer. i can't imagine how will futaba feel if she found out, for example – given how much she seems to not care much about akechi**. and the game (understandably, for pacing reasons) keeps on avoiding to explore the nuance of akechi-joker's relationship effects deeper in the game.

the concept is not only for joker to be even more torn seeing his friends arguing & akechi's fate, but also to see the polarization among the thieves, akechi being conflicted between disgusted and teammate care (boiler room but worse?), and maruki regretting seeing that he's not making things any better or easier for everyone, especially joker (hoo may be interesting to see how the thieves feel about maruki too after this).

well, i still wish for a P5RST game that reunites them all, one of them because i want this to be explored..... oh well. i know his arc has a closure already, but... yeah. i'm honestly more of a platonic akeshuake guy because of this (i've also always been a platonic guy in general, though), but i also don't like the crowd who thinks the PT hates him and thinks they only see them as a killer. and i think resolving the awkward situation between the PT and akechi could make more players open up about the dynamics between them that can be explored, instead of being stuck thinking the extremes.

* a prominent example of this was ryuji. ryuji brought up akechi a lot as one of the reasons upon confronting shido (he even banged the boiler room door), but then said "uh it was for joker" when akechi thanked them for taking shido down in 3rd semester mementos. while i think this is possibly because ryuji has a bigger affinity for joker because well, he's the team leader, close friend, and akechi is still at wrong, i thought it was a bit... backlashy tone wise? i was under the assumption that he did it both for akechi and especially joker, but the mementos dialog made it sound like he only did it for joker. just felt kinda rough in showing the nuance on how he feels.

** like the talk when they all found out the effects of maruki's reality wearing off. when the topic was about realizing akechi "dies" once again, she ignored it and brought up about her mother instead. though, i think this is still more of the consistent examples in writing how each thieves feel about akechi. she has always been bringing up about her mother more often in shido arc, while still can understand where akechi came from.

[fogged--mirror]

I am so normal about the two Jesters in the kingdom's card deck! (owen and clown). Rewritten lore analysis time!!!

Real long analysis thing under the cut, you are warned. /Some "spoilers" for both of their povs/

Funny/non analysing - both jesters have a very specific addiction that haunts them every day they are on the server (owen - trial chambers, clown - enchanting/grinding)

More serious lore stuff under the cut!

Less silly - their relationships to the kingdom is really interesting.

Surprisingly it's more similar than expected. Owen has a high position in the kingdom (royal advisor, jester /and accountant ig lol/). He is happy but feels bad after he is disregarded by the king in some way (listening to clown more etc). Was going to betray the kingdom due to this but after king's death decided to fully commit to being a part of it and help yellow.

Until something happened erm.. So it turns out his full plan was mostly set after thinking of killing the king. He wants to tear the kingdom apart (reason? hell if I know man) and his taunts against the other factions are somehow probably part of it (disband the kingdom and make the server hate them because yellow operates in - you mess with one you get the whole pack angry at you, making it difficult to like be friends with other factions?). The blue vs yellow conflict was started by him, the bridge thing was also by him.

Clown also has a high position (archmage, kinda jester). He likes his title but feels bad about being disregarded in some ways (example - Owen being more of a jester than he is so he kinda started hating him off the bat after they first met). Initially even before joining planned to betray, but after everything red has done committed to being more serious about helping his faction.

And he actually stuck to that! He fought with tr!Mocha for Ros and for everything he has done against the kingdom and won. He doesn't have anything against his faction members, tr!Sneeg and tr!Ros are his closest allies. It does not mean his loyalty to the entire kingdom but he most likely will stay if they do. He considered wiping all of green faction after tr!Mocha's death if they were going to retaliate against Ros after all.

As a character both of them are evil creatures who greatly enjoy violence and doing things for their own fun. (The whole red team joining day, Clown immediately being down to kill Pili, Owen setting up a murder plot and poking other faction being like "dang I wonder why they hate me" after). Sure they do care about the kingdom but violence is a need they always will partake in regardless of what happens after.

For both of them consequences don't exist. Owen doesn't care for his own death and loves instigating others. (it bites the whole faction back but dude does not care). And for Clown - he is capable enough to defend himself and those he cares about. Owen is all bark and no bite and Clown is all bite and no bark essentially lol.

Relationships with their kingdom members!! This is when they start to differ significantly

Ros

With Owen - he noticed the change that happened (being more murderous) and was against it at first, not fully understanding what led to it. He still thinks that Ros who wants to kill people is not her. He is wary of Aimsey and Ros's friendship and wants to make sure she is still loyal to the kingdom. His first priority is the kingdom and it's prosperity above his friendships. I personally don't think he cares all that much for tr!Ros, he saw her being close to tr!Aimsey and saw it as a liability and wanted to drag her back to the kingdom (or away from it from today's stream idk man what is wrong with him)

With Clown thought - he saw the change and was encouraging if Ros truly wanted to go all the way with it. He doesn't exactly care if her murderous nature is truly her, he would just support her if she wants to kill, he is excited for her but doesn't push her to it if it makes sense. He was surprised that she killed Aimsey or the falling out if yellow and blue faction. But still his first priority is Ros. Despite being loyal to the kingdom he values his friendship with her significantly more. If Ros straight up leaves after the shit tr!Owen pulled there is like 90% chance tr!Clown would ban tr!Owen off the server and join Ros in wherever she goes next.

Foolish and Sneeg

This is a fun one. Two people closest to them (for Clown after Ros but shh)

Foolish and Owen - King and royal advisor! Gonna be honest probably tr!Owen's closest friendship in the kingdom. For good reason but still, he respects his king and holds him in high regard. But also he knows the king is swayed easily and wants to reel him in most of the time to focus only on their faction instead of the whole server. Tr!Foolish is incredibly skilled in solving things diplomatically or lowering the tension in the room. Tr!Owen is a polar opposite, he wants conflict and chaos and due to tr!Foolish's nature he pushes him to be less forgiving.

Sneeg and Clown - Theeese guys. They are pretty similar in their grinding addiction so they get along well and descended into banter after the alchemy grind. Most recently I think tr!Sneeg is tr!Clown's other closest friend. He asked for his help for if the aftermath of the fight with tr!Mocha went wrong and trusts him more than the other kingdom members. Honestly if tr!Ros left I think it could drag tr!Sneeg to be with the two of them on wherever tr!Clown and tr!Ros go next (please please please I would be so sad if not, Clown please bring a guy you got divorced from with you and Ros on the "Owen got what he wanted so we are leaving" field trip please)

Clown and Owen's relationship with each other!

Despite barely interacting (Clown stop eating bottles please log in and hang out with people once I am begging on my knees). They are basically each others least favourite person in the kingdom.

The kingdom of fools is known for their loyalty and protectiveness of each other, it's basically their whole thing, if you beat up one there is a 90% chance the others will hold a grudge too.

Except Clown and Owen. Sure if Owen got killed Clown would most likely kill those who did if the kingdom wants it, not for tr!Owen but for the faction (or the love of killing people for fun yknow). And if someone is mean to tr!Clown tr!Owen would just instigate with them or don't help, let's be so real.

Their fundamental differences are - the power they possess (Clown's is the physical ability to protect himself + being not that involved in the drama, mostly just going along with his faction, Owen's is mostly his words and influence in the kingdom despite being the weakest in terms of physical strength). And the relationship to the kingdom. Owen puts it above personal relationships and Clown is the complete opposite.

tr!Clown's goals are - Protect people he cares about first and everything else after, he would not care if the kingdom disbanded tomorrow, he would just grab the two people he likes and don't ever look back, there is not much there for him. He barely cares for control over the whole kingdom if at all. Yes he likes bloodshed he can cause by slaying the enemies of the kingdom but he can do the same if it wasn't there. He doesn't care for anything other than the people he holds close and he wants to do his best to protect them. He is chaotic, yes, but it is a heavily controlled chaos, murder is fun for him but I doubt he would do what tr!Owen does when trying to cause it. He doesn't really care about mind games and is the first to jump to violence, it's the thing he knows best and can use to his advantage easiest.

tr!Owen's goals are most likely (I don't know what this man is planning so I am taking a best guess I have) - Power and control over the kingdom above the people in it (if he has to get rid of those who don't listen to his words blindly - he will, no hesitation). Or just chaos he can cause to have his fun. He is not weighted down by his relationships with others. Yes, he appears friendly to his faction but he is not that close to them. He doesn't care for death either and can do whatever he wants with no downside, his loyalty to the kingdom is mostly him playing cards he was given. If the kingdom disbanded tomorrow he would lose a lot I think. His strongest suit is his words and manipulation and by god does he use them.

They started out more or less the same (only different in the weapons they use) but it changed completely after a certain time. Two jesters in the kingdom's deck! One is loyal, the other wants to tear it down.

\silly rambles part - Also if they ever teamed up it would be so over for the server (a person with nothing to lose who would be extremely down to taunt anyone without a care for what comes after. And a person who wants to protect those he cares about and who could back it up if it's ever needed by destroying anyone who fell for a taunt). This has a REALLY LOW, next to 0 chance of happening but I am begging on my knees for it to happen, it would be so funny, jester duo come back to me I miss you.....\

\realistically tr!Owen kinda does not need close allies to get what he wants and tr!Clown cares for tr!Ros and would beat tr!Owen into paste because he was mean to her before ever trusting him enough to be protective over him lmao\

Thas kinda it idk how to end it. Erm subscribe for more bangers, I am usually this normal about characters who barely interact on a cube smp yerp.

[fireproofheart]

They never listen

[the-crow-binary]

Going on the "castlevania" tag is soulbreaking and honestly tiring, but the "akumajou dracula" tag? Guys. Guys it's so healing. It's so cool. I feel free, finally. Away from the untagged/badly tagged NFCV shit. Every game fans in here need to use this tag. It's a breath of fresh air. Y'all have no idea how great scrolling through CV content without being interrupted by a fanart of Lenore is before you try it. You'll go on the akumajou dracula tag and the most popular post of the moment will actually be smth from the game. Holy shit. Absolutely divine.

[poswiecenia]

( 🖭 ) THE PROXY NEEDN'T look the Champion in the eye to know that her movement was agonizing enough : she could have committed worse sins than just moving her butt in an enticing way .. but she relented ; both were having a nice little game of playing multiplayer kirby. chewing the inside of her cheek to withhold any sort of noise that may have burst from her lips as lighter adjusted himself and giving back in the same vein she simply expressed her comfort by leaning back more into his chest.

OOPS. THERE GOES his kirby -- at least he didn't fall off the side or something and lost a life like she had. finally she looked up at him with a cheeky grin sitting 'pon her lips 'fore giving his thigh a light pat. there there , it could have been worse.

❝ SHE SURE TOUCHES alright .. funny how much more lively its become once our pinkette friend decided to find an alternative method to pay us that one time. its ridiculous but super fun. ❞ double entendre for sure but the dark blunette knew that lighter would understand what she was insinuating completely ( who could forget what the three of them get up to ).

WITNISSING LIGHTER'S KIRBY get pretty much nuked off the map for a moment caused her to laugh , grinning that her teasing totally worked ; though she had to make it up to him later on since he did lose a life again. his laughter was a relief to hear after just an hour ago he'd woken up in a panic of sorts. she still worried but she could relax a little.

EMPLOYEE OF THE month .. employee of the month. no .. it doesn't ring a bell unfortunately. sounds really interesting though : possibly very basic or retro maybe ? ❝ I HAVEN'T BUT .. kinda sounds like night of the consumer ? both sound like horror pilled retail games -- kinda silly but also like ..

something that'll make me fully glad that i don't work in a supermarket or something. video store is good enough for me. ❞ among her more secret job but she didn't count that so much .. though it being more in the vein of customer service.

( WHICH IN HINDSIGHT could be just as soul crushing )

WITH THE LEVEL finished she shifts , putting the controller down as she now turned to face him while on his lap , nosing under his chin 'fore stealing a bold kiss from her fire's lips , cupping his cheeks as she did so with care. ❝ APOLOGIES FOR DISTRACTING you how i did ~ ❞

"Thaaaat--" Oh. That welcomed variant of unexpected briefly makes any words of his to be rendered into static. Eyes briefly wide, that brief motion in itself of a cheekier end getting cozy upon it's thrones prompts him to draw in a breath. Giving an idle roll of his hips, it was a split of returning that same energy, while ensuring that the coziest adjustment was made in spades. That delighted shudder was as dazing as it is pleasant. Focus Lighter, focus!

Meanwhile his Kirby wound up getting smacked directly in the way by one of those cyclops Waddle-Dees.

"To, Ahem, answer that question of yours. Yes. Who's been nothing but pleased looks and touches of mischief whenever she slides on by."

A winded sigh spills away as a measure of heat finds itself charging through his face. To Belle's credit, she managed to throw the best sort of sucker punch with that gesture. "Zombies can certainly be on the table, depending on how it's carried out. But if I'm talking about a silly horror game.. Hm. ! Pffft--" Wait, Slenderman is actually one of those titles that he knows. That forwardness of just calling it mid promised that his kirby was also doomed, getting blown up by some wayward laser as he's laughing against her shoulder.

"Ever heard of an online one called Employee of the month? Someone on Inter-knot talked about it once, so curiosity got the better of me. That is the type of flavor. Though if we're talking horror? Any generation is on the table."

A thoughtful hum follows as he presses a kiss upon her cheek, the action itself helping that brain of his keep that electricity running.

"In terms of game generations in general? More of a super nintendo era kinda guy. The game boy color, or poppin' up a Sega? 2D knows how to sweep my ol' heart away."

Thankfully his Kirby was coming back in for the support! Finding the sword power up, he was slicing through the last few foes before the next level found itself finished.

With a merry Kirby dance to boot.

[beevean]

the hallmark of Peak Fiction is shoehorning a very serious conversation about a very serious past conflict in an unrelated scene, in the form of snarky banter played for laughs, so that the writer can pretend they listen to audience feedback, while not needing to fully think of addressing the issue and fully sweeping it under the rug because it would be inconvenient to paint the involved characters as dumbasses/vile. Bonus points if it literally goes nowhere and it can be removed from the scene without affecting the flow of the dialogue.

And if it makes me want to eat my own bones because I feel the urge to beat the involved characters to death with a nailed bat, that's just a plus :)

[22degreehalo]

One thing that I always go back to when I get to thinking about machine-generated art

When I was in primary school, a friend of mine was really good at art. Like, not 'can carefully copy the Neopets Uni artwork' good, actual 'winning awards for her art piece' level good. (Look, for a horse girl back then I think that was not nothing of me!!)

And one time, when we were in year 5 or so - meaning the early 2000s - she entered an art competition with a beautiful picture of a bunch of African animals eating at a table together with the sort of cartoony, whimsical style you could easily see in a published kids' picture book (or so I remember it, anyway).

But during one of our classes, a guy came to the door to speak to her. And then she came back into the class to her cubby, awkwardly and embarrassedly carrying her picture.

Why? Because she's coloured it digitally, which (unawares to her) was against the rules.

She'd carefully sketched out the piece and drawn the linework physically, on A3 paper. And everything - the composition, the art style, every little detail - was her decision.

But she'd used a computer instead of paints or pastels or colouring pencils or whatever. And to the runners of the competition, that was 'cheating.' You weren't doing it yourself. All you had to do was click a few buttons and the computer filled it in for you, automatically.

Even at the time, that seemed wrong to me, though maybe that was just my inability to believe that my artist friend could've ever been wrong about art. But as I got older and tried out my own digital artworks and colouring... yeahhh. It's a hell of a lot less easy than I thought it'd be, if you want to make something look like how you can imagine in your head. To this day I think that my decades of doodling and anime art have made me okay at lineworks, but I never learned shit about colouring and it shows.

And it's just. I don't want to perpetuate the mistakes of the past, you know? Learn from history. The new technology is always going to seem scarily 'too perfect' and 'too easy' and unskilful and dangerous because What About All The Real Artists Who've Struggled Hard To Perfect Their Work? But digital colouring didn't kill traditional methods. They're just different.

(and requisite statement that I'm not thrilled about artists losing jobs but also by and large these would be the dead-end generic boring bullshit jobs nobody would be excited to do anyway soooo this is 99% a jobs and economic issue that has already happened before with countless past technologies and there is absolutely nothing to gain from hyperfocusing in on ai instead of, like, UBI or something to actually fix it.)

[haarute]

something i realized in the recent years is that while my mom is a very nice person and i can understand why she is the way that she is sometimes, she had a history of always dismissing and throwing away things that were important to me, and in hindsight that certainly had an effect on both my trust in her and how much i was willing to ever share, and also just turned me into a dumpster goblin because i just gave up on ever having nice things so why bother ever caring about my personal space at all ✌️ i'll just live in the filth because we'll never have anything better after all !!

[zestials]

" i needn't remind thee of the peril. " spoken as a warning but void of the threat that often twined with the words. zestial's seated across from his fellow overlord , cards fanned out in a clawed hand. he wouldn't indulge his gambling habits , far too calculating to chance being bested by conditions outside of his control --- so he'd implored him to play a different game. the prize ? loser bought the next round of drinks. when asked for threes , a sharp tug of lips is the only tell he gives in the low light of the hall. zestial had all but cleared the other players with his very presence. lime green eyes rise to lock onto his companion , " go fish , @gamblins . "

[the-casbah-way]

since the fandom has collectively decided that jamie's from motherwell i tend to just write it that way too but jamie is not a motherwell lad to me. he's definitely from one of the wee lanarkshire church towns where you have to wait around for two hours for a tiny rickety country bus driven by someone's half-senile grandfather to drive you to motherwell or glasgow to get a little peek at civilisation. i can't explain it or prove it in any way. but this is the truth. to me

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.