#and I have a great mechanic that respects me THANK GOD

[katarh-mest]

It's shitty but this applies to almost every aspect of our lives.

People take men more seriously.

Doctors

Contractors / repairment

Car mechanics

Salespersons (of any kind)

Lawyers

When we have a new company come out to do an estimate of services on the house, I make sure I schedule them to come out at a time when my husband is going to be available. Not because of bullshit ideas of safety or anything. Not because he's more knowledgeable about the problems (he's an academic that only does routine maintenance on things because I make him.)

But because simply by him being there, I will be taken more seriously by proxy.

Whenever we go out to do something, we do it as a pair - he needs me because I'll actually do the work, and I need him because he's my Please Take Me Seriously buddy.

I wish that this wasn’t necessary and the world cared more about women’s health.

[strwbrymlkshake]

who up praying for downfalls 🤨

[peppermintquartz]

The views in Sydney would be great if it would just stop fucking raining.

Seriously annoyed, Rocker strides back to the lobby. He nods at a handful of Aussie cops from the Tactical Operations Unit (TOU) that led the seminar today and spies Deacon scrolling through his phone.

"Deac, hey. It's still pissing out there and I'm already starving," Rocker tells him.

Deacon sighs. "Room service?"

"Can we charge it to LAPD?"

"They already cut costs with us sharing a hotel room," Deacon says, smiling, "so they better cough up the money for a proper meal."

There are other officers from the States, but Rocker isn't all that into socializing at the moment. He is still jetlagged to hell after four days of workshops, presentations and demonstrations. Tomorrow is the last day, full of speeches and thank yous, and Rocker is bored just thinking about it.

At least it's Deacon out here with him. Hondo can be preachy and that gets on Rocker's nerves, while Luca is a horrible person to share a room with. Tan, Rocker's first choice, is currently preparing to take the sergeant's exam.

And back home, what does Rocker have to look forward to outside of work? His apartment, his painting, and his Russian literature. God, life as a divorced man is depressing.

Deacon is someone Rocker wants to become: steady, calming, assured. Sure he has his flaws, but Deacon doesn't try to talk down to Rocker even if he has every right to do so.

Besides, Rocker knows that he's 50-David only because Deacon dropped out of consideration, and ever since then, Rocker has actively sought out Deacon's advice whenever he can. It's created a strong bond between them, the two former 2ICs to a couple of SWAT legends. He doesn't like having to follow Hondo's orders sometimes, but Deacon? He'll follow Deacon right into hell if Deacon asks him to.

Rocker doesn't want to think about what that says about him.

---

They had dinner at the tiny table in the room, and then they open up the bottle of wine they were given by one of the sergeants here as a welcome gift.

"I'm just saying, if they make me ride that horse again..." Rocker says, about three-quarters through the bottle, while Deacon laughs at the memory of the Mounted Police picking Rocker to try a couple of horseback riding maneuvers. Despite Rocker's best attempts, the horse just did not have any respect for him.

"Oh, you didn't have any dreams of being a cowboy?" Deacon teases.

Rocker scrunches his nose. "I'm a city boy through and through. Sure, kid me wanted to ride a bucking bronco, but I'm not four years old anymore."

The image of Rocker riding one of those mechanical bulls flashes into Deacon's mind. And he keeps his mind there for a moment.

"You'll look good doing it," he says at last.

"That's because I make everything look pretty," Rocker says, grinning, his cheeks pink from the wine. Deacon can't disagree; Rocker is stupidly attractive with his dark brown curls and strong features and that buff body. Unaware of Deacon's train of thought, Rocker sighs. "I like getting out of LA for these sort of trips, but the jetlag sucks."

Deacon agrees. "I'd like it more if we could go around the city or maybe venture out further. Seems such a waste being stuck indoors." He thinks about it. "No, I take that back. Running around the city means I'm actually on a case."

"Ha, I heard about Thailand. You guys have the worst luck."

"It's all Hondo, I swear."

Rocker raises an eyebrow. "But you're loyal to him."

"I'm loyal to my team," Deacon corrects. "No matter who leads it."

"Even if it's me?"

Deacon narrows his eyes. "Are you trying to poach me over to 50-squad?"

"Stevens would kill me if I swapped him out for you," Rocker says, and then he sighs. "I like working with you though. You're so... graceful. Contained."

"You're not too bad yourself," says Deacon. He reaches over and squeezes Rocker's biceps. "I mean, all that beef on you. And you're very easy on the eyes. Plus, don't tell anyone I said so, but I like when you smile so wide your whole face scrunches up."

"Really?" Rocker asks, smiling in that exact way now, as if he's been given a gift he wanted all year.

Deacon doesn't remove his hand. He likes the way his tanned skin contrasts against Rocker's paler complexion. As if looking through a screen, he sees his thumb rubbing over the patch of skin, and Rocker's muscle jumps under the caress.

"Deac?"

"Sorry," he murmurs, about to draw back his hand when he looks at Rocker again. And he stops moving. Stops breathing.

The downpour outside becomes louder. The heavens seem to want to drown out everything other than this room, render the passage of time meaningless.

Rocker swallows and licks his lips. Deacon's gaze snaps to the tip of the pink tongue peeking out, and everything in him screams for him to taste it.

The next thing he knows, he's got one hand in the back of Rocker's head, his fingers digging into short hair, and his mouth is locked over the other man's lips.

Rocker doesn't even resist, tilting his head as his thick arms go around Deacon's waist and back. He actually whines when Deacon pulls away briefly, but Deacon doesn't leave him for long; he straddles the younger man and resumes the kiss, one hand tangled into the short, damp curls of Rocker's hair and the other cradling his lightly-stubbled jaw. When he settles his weight on Rocker's lap, he encounters a heated hardness.

Gasping, Deacon pulls back from the kiss. What am I doing?

Below him, Rocker's blue eyes are blown dark, his fair cheeks pink and rosy, and his lips swollen and wet. He blinks up at Deacon, a soft, inquiring sound emerging from his throat. His hands - massive hands, always so sure and confident - tremble where they're placed on Deacon's body. He licks his lips again.

Deacon's pulse races in his chest while his own cock thickens with desire. He's done this. He's done this to Rocker, who's always, always confident. As if to test his theory, Deacon rocks his hips a little, and Rocker moans, lips parting, his broad chest heaving.

"Please," Rocker whispers, his voice so quiet and broken that Deacon can't tell if Rocker meant to say it at all.

He pulls off his own shirt and then removes Rocker's. A dull pink flush spreads over Rocker's chest. Deacon rubs his thumbs over the erect nipples, making Rocker whimper and rock up. The sensation causes every single nerve in Deacon's body to feel like he's been shocked with electricity.

He wants more of it.

"Just this once," he finds himself saying. "Just once."

"Okay," Rocker agrees too readily, and pulls Deacon close.

[fandom-puff]

Anything Ned Stark. Second wife, first wife, fluff, headcanons anything. 💚❤💚❤💚 -Maris

Omgg!! Haven’t written much for Ned and haven’t written game of thrones in a while so I rlly liked this one!! I went with 2nd wife HCs for this one.

Being Ned Stark’s second wife would include…

Warnings: AU where Catelyn dies, reference to death, political/arranged marriage, age gap, reference to smut, but it’s skipped over

Gif creds to owner

Almost a full year after catelyn had passed, Ned decided that Winterfell needed a new Lady, and his children needed a maternal figure

Of course, no one could replace Cat, who was the mother of five of his children and kept Winterfell running smoothly while he tended to his duties as warden of the north

So after much deliberation in the Godswood, he visited Lewin’s Solar and had ravens drawn up to the northern Lords

And one to King Robert himself.

it takes several moons, but soon his new bride arrives at Winterfell, accompanied by your Lord father and two of your brothers

The wedding itself is a small affair, with your vows said in the Godswood before the old gods

The children are in attendance, and the eldest among them seem aged beyond their years following the death of Lady Catelyn.

The feast afterwards is quiet, the music played quietly, the guests not yet rowdy.

You sit at the head table at Lord Eddard’s right side, your shoulders weighed down by the great grey cloak of House Stark, and the new responsibilities of the Lady of Winterfell

Soon the children are herded off to bed, and it’s time for the bedding

Your mother had discussed what would happen in the marital chamber in scant detail, so you knew the mechanics

Your father had only told you to do your duty to your house, his jaw tense

But when a rowdy fiddle player tried to liven up the festivities with his bawdy hollering and calls to strip you through the halls, Eddard stood from the table

A cool look from his stern grey eyes was enough to silence the musician

“You may continue the festivities,” he addressed the wedding guests. And although his voice was low and quiet, it commanded respect from all in the Hall.

He then offered his hand to you, and when you slipped your hand into his calloused palm, he guided you up and then down from the platform, through the hall of well-wishers, all bowing their heads to the Warden of the North.

The walk to your new chambers was silent, but not uncomfortably so, and when Eddard held the door open for you, you thanked him in a quiet voice.

“These are your chambers,” he said lowly, gesturing.

They were beautiful, in a rustic, comforting way. The fire crackled, casting flickering shadows over the furnishings.

“In here is your sitting area, with your Solar just ahead. Your bed chambers are through that way. Your things have been brought up already, but you have plenty of time to sort all of that out. And you’ll have help, of course,”

You smile gratefully as he explains that you are free to change the appearance of the chambers as you please.

“My own chambers aren’t too far from here,” he adds with a small smile, and you notice the way his eyes crinkle as he smiles.

Together you sit before the fire, sharing a cup of ale, talking of not much at all, but easing into one another’s company.

“Thank you,” you say, setting your cup down. When he looks at you quizzically, you expand. “For before. My younger brother teased me before I came here, telling tales about bedding ceremonies. I knew you wouldn’t allow it, you didn’t for-“ you catch yourself. “You defended the Lady Catelyn’s honour. And I am thankful that you defended mine too, Lord Stark,”

Eddard watches as you talk, the way you handle talking about Cat, his Cat. There is no scorn, no resentment at being a second wife, at being a replacement, at knowing that he did not love you

Not yet, at least

“I would never dishonour you, My Lady,” he tells you, and you smile gently.

He is silent for a moment before clearing his throat. “I will not make you consummate this marriage tonight My Lady. Not if you don’t want to. We can proceed in the coming weeks, if you would prefer,”

“What if I want to?” You asked. “I must do my duty to House YLN and now to House Stark as well. You and I both know this marriage cannot go unconsummated, otherwise our houses are not formally allied,”

Eddard surveyed you for a moment, relieved he had wed a Lady with a wise head on her shoulders, and not a skittish young maid.

“Then I will go at your pace, my Lady, and you must tell me to stop should your mind change,”

You nodded your head in agreement, and together you made your way to your bedchamber

He keeps his word, and the marriage is consummated slowly, dutifully, gently

Afterwards, he holds you, never leaving to return to his own chambers, and had a servant bring wine for you

But when he returns to your bed, he finds you asleep, snuggled into the fur, your face serene and your hair mussed up

With a gentle smile he slides back into bed with you, though it takes him much longer to fall asleep, killed by your gentle breaths

[in-a-bucket]

Project Eden's Garden CH 1 thoughts

hey so this probably isn't gonna be coherent at all cause i just finished the chapter and it took my like 12 hours to finish it so i have not slept but i just need to get my thoughts out lol

uh anyway major spoilers for the whole chapter you have been warned

so for the chapter as a whole i had a great time playing it! you can really see all the love and care put into this project. that being said, this chapter was CARRIED by it's deadly life/trial section, at least in my opinion. the daily life wasn't like terrible by any means it just didn't feel like a whole lot happened? the days felt really short, like the day you explore the new area is literally, wake up, meet in the dining hall briefly, explore the new area, and then go to bed. i was like ????? how is the day already done what. and then when the motive was introduced it was a bit lackluster, the concept was really cool with the pictures and the vague messages for the blackmail, but then we barely find out what anyone's information and the few people we do find out isn't super bad (expect for wolfgang kind of, maybe?), hell damon is not once concerned about the motive and none of the other characters seem all that concerned about it either which i think kinda brings the tension and stakes down. it's pretty evident when you find out the killer's motive as nothing to do with the blackmail and they weren't even concerned over their own blackmail so they have to create an entirely separate motive with the whole traitor perk thing, and it's not like that came out of thin air cause you're told about the secret prize from the get go i just don't get why they didn't use the motive they already made instead of revealing it all at the end of the trial from tozu.

ok whoops getting kind of off topic there but yeah daily life, it just felt like there could have been more, maybe it just has to do with the kind of guy damon is, but it kind of felt like we were dragging our feet from time to time idk maybe im just insane.

as for deadly life, holy shit they made some ballsy decisions here. can't really say whether they were good ones yet or not since we still have 5(?) more chapters but i have to respect the devs for who the first victim and killer ended up being (i'll get to them later). i remember thinking (man this is a pretty long investigation lol), although it probably didn't help that it took me forever to find the blood in the hallway i was genuinely so confused as to what i was missing I went back into all of the storage closets and like triple checked i had exgauhsted all dialogue, and then i was trying the move my mouse all over the place to see if there was anything else to search and then i finally found it.

the trial was so fucking fun, as devastated as i was due to who the victim was it was a ton of fun figuring out the crime and i genuinelly thought it was gonna be diana and i was gonna be done with the trial in about 2 hours and only to hit and intermission and realize i hadn't used like half my evidence yet. the mechanism of the crime was really cool too and i had a lot of fun solving it, even if i did start to lose the plot when it came to the stuff of the cord and the vent but that might've just been me being tired. I will say i did not enjoy the bullet hell argument whatever it's called at the very end, the artwork was really cool but it took me FOREVER to beat it, and myabe that's just cause i'm bad at video games but ti was so frustrating getting to stage 3 multiple times then loosing all of my health and having the start all over again. i think it would have been better if you run of of health you have to start from the beginning of whatever stage you died on but hey maybe i just suck at the game idk.

okay now on to some more character specific stuff, first of all WOLFGANG AKIRE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GAHHHH

ugh i'll admit it, i'm actually devastated he died first like seriously thank god the trial was as good as it was cause i might have stopped playing if it wasn't lol. in all seriousness though i was so excited for how he'd handle someone killing and all of the reprecussions with that only for him to die first lol. i really hope that this isn't the last we get to hear about him though, like i hope he's not just like a passing thought in ch 2 and then never mentioned again kind of a thing like hopefully he'll be plot relevant in the future or something idk i just want more wolfgang he's my fav BRING HIM BACKKKK. maybe we'll get to learn more about him through grace cause i'm now like 99% sure they knew each other before this whole mess lmao i mean come on grace wanted to be roomies with him and she was so fucking devastated by him dying and didn't want people poking around his room like come on.

and just everything you find out about his situation in the trial is just devastating oh my godddd. i was really worried they were gonna pull the whole "omg guys wolfgang was killed in self-defense and he was actually terrible this whole time and you all should have believed me(damon) cause i was right all along memememememe" and they didn't thank god. just that whole scene where diana reveals their confrontation was just so good like that is one of my top fangan scenes of all time now. just all the stuff he was saying revealing stuff about his character that might NEVER BE ELABORATED ON CAUSE HES FUCKING DEAD NOW WTFFFF WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. and the voice acting was fucking incredible holy shit NAD THE FUCKING SPRITE WORK OH MY GOD THAT SHIT WAS AMAZING. the sprites for wolfgang and eva (i'll get to her later) were so fucking good i mean just look at this shit

LIKE THIS IS DEVESTATING TO ME LIKE HOLY FUCK BRO I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN UR HEAD AND NOW I NEVER WILL CAUSE UR DEAD UGHHHHHH

it's really funny cause i actually ended up doing all of his FTEs not knowing he was gonna die

now let's talk about eva cause holy fuck girl. i remember after the prologue she was one of my least favorite characters, cause it felt like her whole personality was "ooooo look at how mysterious and cool I am ooooooooo", but then you get the reveal that she lied about being the ultimate liar and you get her normal talent and she actually shows an actual personality and is a video game nerd i was like "omg yes i'm loving the p:eg team's take on this!" and she was moving up my character tier list ranking very quickly, and then she was revealed as the killer and she tried to pin everything on damon and then her reasons for killing wolfgang in the first place and she went right back down to the bottom LMAO. not because i thought she had bad writing or something but at the end of the day her motivations for taking the perk were pretty selfish and while i agree that wolfgang shouldn't have been trying to isolate her like that she kind of put a target on herself for no reason by lying about her talent like girl what did you think was going to happen lol. also her execution was fucking brutal, it looked incredible but damn was it brutal, she didn't need to go out like that omg.

as for some other characters, always gonna love my girls grace and cassidy they were a delight as always and i look forward to seeing more of them, diana went up on my tier list and i'm looking forward to seeing where her character goes from here, i'm also really loving jean a lot but he feels a little too helpful so i fear he might die next chapter lol.

i feel like there's more i have to say but im so tried lol so yeah have whatever this is lol. overall i had a great time playing and everyone did an amazing job working on it (even if i am really upset you killed my fav), i look forward to whatever the next chapter brings!

[bugsinshoes]

ok so i just watched @fordtato and @hkthatgffan 's respective videos about their interview with THE alex hirsch and i wanna just say OH MY GOD like SERIOUSLY

im gonna put my thoughts under the cut so theres no spoilers if you havent seen it already (BUT GO WATCH THEM NOW PLEASE !!!) + its gonna be LONG so BEAR WITH ME

ok, so i have MANY thoughts so sorry if none of this is coherent 😭 (this is not in chronological order of when the questions were asked, just me spewing out my totally normal thoughts about this interview so apologies for that)

starting off:

THE BABY IS SHERMIE?!?!?!? IM SO SO GLAD WE FINALLY HAVE CONFIRMATION WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS TO REST !! I WAS RIGHT THOUGH SO HA !!! ACTUALLY SCREAMING !! TIMELINE BE DAMNED (also another thanks to hana, your timeline video is genuinely awesome. i never shut up about it. ever. any time i talk to my friends abt gf and i need to refer to the timeline i go: "IN HANA'S VIDEO-") anyways, i do understand it was a last minute decision on the writer's part of "oh. dipper and mabel need a grandfather, its not ford, and its sure as FUCK not gonna be stan sooo... third brother?" and i do understand alex being like, "oh, this is about ford and stan only having eachother" so i think making shermie younger was a GOOD THING? like, stan and ford had 18 years of just them so shermie wasnt in the picture, so stan and ford technically grew up on their own so ig it works? also, when stan got kicked out, he never got to see shermie grow up, probably only saw him at events when he had to pretend to be ford (post-1983) and as for ford himself, he was too busy in college and gravity falls to really visit the family so... it works! (despite everything)

that aside, lets talk about THE CRUMBS??? like i have some quotes here because i have a LOT to say:

"theyre both so damaged and they desperately need each other" - alex hirsch (talking about stan and ford)

LIKE SUIUHUSHUSH i HATE these brothers SO MUCH (LIES) i cant actually properly express my thoughts because WOW like its clear that they both have their own trauma and they NEED to address it but theyre both too STUBBORN to do so. theyve both been alone for 40ish years so of course they need each other. they grew up by the hip, so theres no surprise that they both need each other (whether they like it or not)

"[ford's] grateful for the forgiveness he thinks he doesnt deserve" -alex hirsch

ford thinks so lowly of himself at times it HURTS. like the lines in the journal about "only then would the freak return a hero" or about his guilt with bill and everything its just so important to his character im so glad we got so much ford content in this interview. like i am EATING ALL THIS UP RN

"[ford] has to always have a mission in front of him, because if he doesnt have a mission in front of him, hes thinking how have i treated people in my life?" - alex hirsch

ford distracting himself with things instead of facing his problems. probably something he had to do a lot, especially with his time in the multiverse. but it really hurts because i can imagine in the 60s, they never had any great coping mechanisms? so i can assume ford was just conditioned to distract himself from stuff so he never learned how to deal with things. and i KNOW in the journal hes like "i meditate!" and im sure that does help somewhat, but it doesnt address the issue itself soooo... sorry ford, but you cant just breathe your way out of everything

ALSO alex calling ford and fiddlefords falling out a "BREAKUP" (air quotes used) BUT A BREAKUP??? this is just adding fuel to my fiddauthor-infested brain rn. i CANT

and alex saying mcgucket is thinking like, "oh i gotta be a better partner" is HEART SHATTERING like the whole talk about fiddleford being "the building guy" who is kind of just there to make machines and please ford. its honestly so heartbreaking because fiddleford loves ford so much he'd leave his wife and child to go to absolute nowhere, oregon and the fact ford is too arrogant to see fiddlefords admiration and overall love for him its just IUIUAHHAS

and i do wanna say, i KNOW bill played a big part in this, by stroking fords ego and buttering him up with his kind words because he knew exactly what ford wanted to hear and that really affected how ford and fidds' relationship was like but THATS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME. all i know is that ford isnt entirely to blame, but he still is a massive arrogant asshole and he wasnt the best person to fidds at times (love him tho <3)

but im actually so happy because this interview sheds SO much light onto FORD bcs we BARELY got to know him, and hearing it from MR HIRSCH HIMSELF is just so good because we KNOW its a reliable source because its coming from ALEX YK??? like he wrote ford so he probably knows "oh yeah, that man is guilt-ridden as FUCK" and im so glad we get some crumbs of this guy i cant get enough of him !!! (impatiently waiting for the book of bill)

ANNNDD THE TALK ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A SEA GRUNKS SPINOFF/MINISERIES??? I WOULD EXPLODE GENUINELY ANYTHING WITH MY FAVOURITE OLD MEN PLEASE !! i would genuinely love to see more of their dynamic and how everything is after weirdmaggeddon and like dealing with trauma and UGHHH i would kill for stan/ford content PLEASE

also...

hippie ford.

hippie. ford.

i am never getting over this (im internally SCREECHING)

ANYWAYS THAT WAS MY RANT ABT MY FAV THINGS FROM THE INTERVIEW THAT WAS A LOT GODDAMN

im genuinely so happy with all the questions that got answered, as well as getting some deeper insight into characters and stuff. IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE AMOUNT OF FIDDAUTHOR CRUMBS YOU GUYS

im gonna end this by saying another MASSIVE thank you to hana and hk !! you both put so much effort into your respective videos and it was super super cool !! this was totally worth the wait !!! :D

[paradoxmimzy]

Shapeshifter HRT

Day -394

I go in to the doctor. Doctor T.H. Arian. The name is a little suspicious but his treatment of my wife has been favorable.

"I thought about this for a long time doctor. I want to be a shapeshifter."

His face gets serious. "Do you know how many people that come in here and ask for that? What do you really want to be? We do offer polytherian treatments if you just can't decide between a few."

So I list them. Every single one. Cat, dog, fox, mouse, snake, bird, hermit crab, angel, devil, elf, vampire, unicorn, hamster, ferret… and others… forms that don't have names but I describe their anatomy in great, sickening, detail.

"If I tried to go through all of them one at a time it would be too complicated. Too much for me to keep track of and what happens if I want to change into something I haven't listed yet? Please doc, if I had to be one thing it would be a shapeshifter."

He removes his glasses and sighs.

"There is a treatment for it." He says.

I can't contain my squeaks of excitement.

"But." He cuts me off. "The substance I'm using is a lot more controlled. I can guarantee the things that it will do to your body will be worse than what your wife went through."

"I still want it… If you got anything that basically makes me like Venom that would be ideal."

"Will you be changing into anything mechanical or robotic?"

"Probably not."

"Okay. I will put in the request now, but do not hold your breath. A government agent will eventually contact you and mail you the paperwork that you need to fill out."

- Day -96

6:21 in the morning. My phone was ringing and with my wife still asleep I answered it.

"Hello this is Officer Mitchell. I am here with Agent Duress. We're here to ask you some questions about this… medication you are requesting?"

My local sheriff, with some guy from the government. Great.

"Yeah I made a request sometime last year and hadn't heard anything."

"Yes, well. There had been some policy changes 150 days ago about the substance you're requesting. Everyone who filed a report had to do so again."

"And I'm just hearing about this now??"

"Your doctor had been informed about it two weeks ago and resubmitted all files that needed to be submitted. He requested we handle this urgently so that is what we're doing, ma'am."

"I'm not a ma'am. Please use Sir if you can."

"With all due respect, ma'am. You take this medicine it's going to turn you into something that I don't even want to think about. Gender ain't gonna mean much to a freak like you."

"I can still use whatever damn pronouns I want."

"Okay, okay. No need to be so sensitive about it. I just gotta sign this thing that says I'll keep an extra eye out for you if you decide to start doing crimes."

"Oh my god."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to be everything all these stupid fucking things. Ferret, angel, hermit crab? Really? If any crimes are done from species in any of these lists you're gonna be on the suspect board by default."

"Fine. I'll consent to it."

"Alright, good. Next is understanding the exact risk of this substance. Has your next of kin been notified?"

"My wife is fully aware yes."

"Your parents, darling. I'm asking about your parents."

"Dad died 3 years ago and mom's never had custody of me. I am nearly 30 fucking years old, why are you asking about my fucking parents?"

"Standard procedure. Normally we have underage people asking for this stuff. So what age would you say you were dysphoric as a… 'Mono-formic being.'" He sounded out each word bitterly.

And so the questions went on and on and on and on and on. Until finally a voice different from the sheriff's came in.

"Thank you for your time. It will be under consideration."

And then it hung up.

"Ugggghhhh." I groan to myself.

"If you wanna go to the diner I could search for a shirt that fits me now." My cow wife says.

"It's fine. I'll just hang out on the internet. All I can do is fucking wait after all. From email or carrier pigeon I guess!!"

"Too loud."

"Sorry. I'm just mad."

"Do you think they hire pigeon therians into the government to carry messages?" She asks,

"Derpy Hooves is definitely a pigeon therian." I reply back,

"So true OP…" She yawns and slips back into sleep.

- Day 0

It was a text message. It was ready at the pharmacy and all I needed to do was go pick it up like any other medicine.

Doctor T.H. Arian gave me information on how to apply it and what to expect for the low dose they start me on.

He was very insistent I record my emotional state through this and that he would be prepared to stop the treatment if it made me 'worse.' Though he refused to define what worse was.

The medicine itself was just a little black goo in a bottle. I had been informed that it could be applied just on my skin, but that carried a risk to my partner and her own HRT procedures. So I opted for injection instead.

[crehador]

brother crab's fall 2024 parting thoughts: uhhhhh basically everything

doing these all in one batch because i have been falling behind big time this season orz

long post under the cut

acro trip & kabushiki gaisha magi lumiere: the two magical girl series i picked up this season, both delightful! my only gripe is i wish acro trip had also gotten a season two, but thrilled to have more magilumi coming eventually

sengoku youko: after the wreck that was biscuit hammer THANK FUCKING GOD THIS WAS GOOD, and it was really. really. really good. it's not the, like, shiniest thing you'll ever see in 2024 in terms of animation, and the story isn't exceptionally unique or anything, but it's a great, classic adventure fantasy that has a really nostalgic feel to it

haigakura: ummmmmmmmm the less said the better. let's move on

tasuuketsu: was it good? no. was it compelling? also no. did i watch all 24 episodes? well. man idk the beginning was a mess, and not even the fun sort of mess, and the situation did not really improve. however i do feel like there's some potential in the characters and death game mechanics here, just fully unrealized potential, which is just... frustrating. anyway. do not recommend

touhai: this one's rolling onwards into a second cour but this is the fun sort of mess. it delivers on its gritty-dark premise in all the ways that yakuza fiance (i'll get to that) doesn't. do i even necessarily like its gritty-dark premise? ehhh... but i do respect it for being just. balls to the wall ridiculous

raise wa tanin ga ii: mannnnn this one probably warrants its own post because i could go on and on about what i found lacking here if anyone wants to hear it, but the tl;dr is i just don't feel like they committed to the yandere-ness of the yandere relationship quite enough. but i did love yoshino and i did love kirishima... 's voice (basically picked this up solely for ishida akira lol) so it was fine. whatever. it was fine

rekishi ni nokoru akujo ni naruzo: surprisingly decent villainess series! for a while it seemed like it was going to fall into the boring old trap of actually the villainess is Good and the heroine is Evil. while our aspiring villainess is clearly not Evil in this, she's at least going about her supposed 'villainy' in a somewhat interesting way

kimi wa meido-sama.: i... i don't know. i think overall i did enjoy this, i remember it having a really strong start, the main characters were both really charming and fun, but it sort of fizzled out for me. i don't really have a problem with the flagrant wish fulfillment-y vibe here, it's just i guess i feel like it didn't really strike a steady balance between the romance, the slice-of-life bits of yuki trying to lead a normal life, and the looming hints of her ominous history. it's not that these things can't all coexist, the show was just a little clumsy about balancing them imo

kamonohashi ron no kindan suiri s2: honestly i don't think this has gotten worse, i think it's just gotten to be not my thing. when ron said "this is the last case i'll ever thought" i said out loud "promise? 🥺" so... i probably shouldn't continue if they make another season. but they did just get suwabe in here so. we'll see

blue lock s2: lol. lmao even

goukon ni ittara onna ga inakatta hanashi: an absolute delight! all the characters wound up being really fun to follow but for me fuji and asagi absolutely stole the show. they were just too good

maou 2099: this has one more episode to go, but i can't imagine my thoughts on it changing much. and my thoughts are it was fun! nothing mindblowing in the end, but solidly fun. you can feel the hpmi all over it

natsume s7 & bleach tybw cour whatever & beastars final season pt1: lumping these together since pretty much all i have to say on them is it's more of the same, which is a very good thing. bleach and beastars quality is staying up, and natsume is still the same natsume we know and love which is exactly what i want it to be forever and ever

dandadan & ranma 1/2 & ao no hako: grouping these together because they're clearly the big names of the season (well idk about ao no hako but i certainly hope it's one, because it deserves to be) and there's not much i can say that hasn't already been said. they look great and were/are (ao no hako is continuing into a second cour) a delight to watch. dandadan does a great job of portraying not just kids being kids but weird kids being weird kids, which is a somewhat rare delight. ranma 1/2 and ao no hako are both peak romance. ranma is also such a visual joy to watch

of the three... ough... i feel like i have to give anime of the season to ranma because it was just such a pleasure to watch, but i have such a soft spot in my heart for ao no hako right now. it's just gorgeous, and the characters feel so wonderfully real. the only thing knocking it down a bit is i don't enjoy love triangles in general, but like if there has to be one, ao no hako's is not (currently) that annoying

anyway this is not my anime of the season post so more on that later

i think... that's... everything? maybe? chi and slf s2 are both excellent, but more on those after their second cour. the one thing i will say about slf s2 for now is nothing has topped the wethermon fight for me yet and phew. it's gonna be tough because that fight was peak

tsumasho, mecha-ude, and murai no koi i've already made separate posts on. some other two cour stuff i'll also save comments on for next season

oh wait

kinokoinu: this was cute but not all the memorable i guess, as evidenced by the fact that i. just. nearly forgot it lol

anyway! i'd say overall this was a very solid season with some seriously underwatched sleeper hits like mecha-ude. anime of the season is... going to be fun to think about. much to consider

[lightwise]

TBB S3E7 Reactions

Alright, in lieu of an analysis this week, you guys get some extra long reactions from me. Spoilers for Extraction under the cut!

- Of course the operative is still alive after being completely buried by rocks

- You okay there Rexy boy?

- Aww, Crosshair helping him up

- “There’s always another way” feels like foreshadowing

- CX does sound awfully like Tech when he’s grunting. Either that or DBB has only one way of making groaning noises 😂

- The rim lighting in this episode is such a pain for making screenshots but so satisfying for watching

- The modified clone theme when Wolffe lands 😭

- Wolffe was really getting 3PO flashbacks there with that disgusted sigh

- Isn’t Hilo a canon commando?? Or is he from legends?

- I will never get over how realistic light looks in this show

- There’s no way that CX just caught himself with his hands

- “We’re waiting on you” they’re not leaving Crosshair behind this time 🥹

- Lol Batcher. Licking cute clones faces. Always the priority

- How is this CX such a good shot??

- Oh Wolffe definitely has a constant headache. Idk how he’s actually put up with being in the Empire this long.

- This purple atmosphere is so pretty

- “I’m much worse” — SCREAMING. And the little tilt with his helmet to make his point clear? This man can have me however he wants. Anytime, anywhere. Call me, baby (I hope someone laughed at that lol)

- So Hunter does hear the ships. I wonder if his senses are more tuned for mechanical vibrations and animal life than people

- Lol Howzer is this really the time for a heart to heart?

- “Loyalty meant something to me” 🫡

- Lol that TK Trooper sounded like a mid-Atlantic 50s movie star

- How is the operative this nimble? Seems suspicious

- Smoke bombs are CF99s signature

- Interesting that for once the stun bolts are being used ON the Batch instead of by them.

- Wrecker and Batcher are a great team

- Hunter just dropping that TK and then Crosshair taking out their ship. Phew

- Also not suspicious at all that they’ve neutralized all the TKs and left the clone troopers for later.

- How did Crosshair sense the operative coming up behind them?

- RIP Nemec 😓

- “Too bad” 😩😩😩

- Oh Cross, you know you’re not the best at hand to hand combat. This is a very bad idea

- That waterfall is pretty though

- Dear lord why did they have to make these scenes so dark

- Oh fuck. I can’t even tell who threw who off the cliff

- The whole squad going after Crosshair even though he told them to get to the extraction point 😭

- CX obviously knows Crosshair and has beef with him. Again, for the millionth time—WHAT THE HELL DID HEMLOCK DO TO ALL OF THEM

- “You had your chance to be one of us. You chose the wrong side”. Really can’t wait for this to be explained.

- Crosshair’s reflexes are so fast for being all gangly limbs

- Okay I seriously almost had a heart attack here (this is a rewatch so my reactions aren’t immediate but holy cow I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing watching Crosshair almost drown. Don’t you dare do it Jen!)

- It is v suspicious how fixated on Crosshair CX is even after he’s neutralized him

- Thank GOD for Howzer

- Okay, I can breathe a little again

- That’s…an awfully long fall for someone to survive

- The TBB team took the water scenes from The Crossing in season 2 and said, yeah, how about we just make that a million times better 🤯

- “That’s not Echo”. No, no it is not

- Good to know that Rex is still considered dead by the Empire (although that honestly seems strange that CX in season 2 knew who he was). That’s heartbreaking that Wolffe thought he was dead this whole time though

- Wow. The respect these two men have for each other

- “Oh I did. Lost a lot of good men that day” *cries in TCW season 7*

- Idk how Rex keeps going honestly

- His voice may be gentle but his face means BUSINESS

- Rex 🤝 Omega - believing the power of friendship can save anyone and anything they come across

- Fuck your orders Wolffe

- “I’ll make sure you’re given a fair trial” you really have no idea who you work for Wolffe do you

- Hunter being willing to stand down when Rex asks him to

- “I know you. As your brother, I’m asking you to do the right thing” the brotherly reunions this season are just paralleling all over the place

- Gregor the handsome fellow that you are. I swear his pauldrons get bigger every time we see him

- “Let my people go” the Exodus vibes are strong here too

- Guess we’re gonna be finding out what makes this CX so special. Still can’t believe he survived.

- Rex just lost almost all of his men again 😣😭

- The sheer respect and care that Hunter and Rex have for each other. The hand on the shoulder. The losses that tie them together. The worry and earnestness in Hunter’s face and tone when he tells Rex he can’t win. He doesn’t emote this much to people he doesn’t consider family.

- The ways Hunter still is hesitant to do anything but run and hide, and Rex still can’t give up. Not quite yet.

- How Hunter won’t be able to either until they know what is really going on with Omega.

[vendettasfanfictioning]

I need more fics framing The Rupture as something necessary for destiel—it hurt like a fucking bitch, sure, and it was a low blow for Dean to hit Cas exactly where he knows Cas hurt most (in being the problem or a burden), but also. Looking at it from Dean's perspective, it really did feel like a move that old, early-seasons Cas would do; withheld information, acted on his own, took risks that could cost others.

And when it all piled up? From Jack's soulless behaviors directly killing Mary, to the deal with Belphegor in hell costing them Rowena. Again, hard agree that it was one of the most painful lines dropped in the show (especially so if you remember that this is post-Empty deal), but context guys, context.

Plus, I believe this separation wasn't only long-time coming but also a pretty important addition because what is destiel if not a pair of stubborn idiots who can't communicate. That's not to say an argument is necessary to talk (it can be, in certain situations, sure) but they've been on different pages since Cas came back in S13.

The center of their disagreement seemed to mostly lie in their belief in Jack. I can't remember a time they really sat down and smoothed things out so much as they avoided talking about what happened during the Widower arc altogether, and that's when the wound really began to fester. (It didn't help that they had to deal with so many problems all at once; the Brits, Asmodeus, Apocalypse World, Lucifer, then AU Michael...)

Here is what we know that Cas believed (from the canon narrative): Jack formed a bond with Cas, even before he was born he somehow showed Cas a possible future; paradise. It's the same power, perhaps a protection mechanism with nephilim seeing as God labeled them as Abominations, that turned Kelly as well. What we know Cas saw (from the deleted scene/script): Cas' paradise consisted of everyone he loved, his family, being safe. This included Sam, Kelly, and Dean on a beach, with more focus on Dean as he tells Cas, "thank you."

From what we could see that Cas did not, Dean had enough resentment against Jack that wasn't going to magically go away overnight. Jack hadn't formed the same bond with Dean that he did with Cas.

What happened before Jack was born: Heaven and Hell both sought out Jack for their respective goals, an innocent woman was going to die from the sheer magnitude of giving birth to a Nephilim, and Cas left by what Dean assumed was delusions and manipulations. What happened when Jack was born: Mary fell into a portal to a different universe—a rift that only opened due to the anomaly and power of Jack's existence—Kelly died, and Cas got stabbed right in front of him.

And this isn't to discredit Dean's love for Jack, when he did allow himself to love him or see him as family, but you can love someone and still resent them or feel bad about them. Moreso during extreme circumstances, however unfair or illogical it may be. Again, did they ever really talk? Maybe my memory is failing me but I'm pretty certain they didn't, or at least never in great detail, or came to an agreement about it.

Dean and Cas... just had so much dirty laundry and Rupture made sure they aired it all out. But I think we, as a society, would benefit greatly from not framing Dean as the big bad villain here or Cas as some poor innocent bean. Supernatural's theme was never about brotherhood or family, it's about how shit could have been so much easier if they just communicated.

[river-in-the-woods]

Good day/night! do you keep your western and eastern practices separate and parallel? or have you found some way to reconcile them together into one more "personalized" path maybe? how does that work for you? I'm kind of struggling with this as of late, as someone with mixed heritage, and I thought maybe you'd have some advice. Thank you.

Good day or night to you too!

In general, I keep traditions and techniques separate, unless it makes sense to put them together. It's difficult to advise on this without specifics, so perhaps you can provide a little more context for me 🙂 Let me go through a few key points, and hopefully at least one of them will provide some clarity.

Essentially, it's important know the mechanics of the practice you're doing, how it works and why. And to understand that, you have to receive adequate instruction, and engage with the practice according to its respective tradition to an adequate level.

The only personalisation I've done, is that I do the practices I want to do. But I do them according to how they are taught, and I don't mix and match unless I have a solid and well-understood reason to. There is plenty of religious and spiritual syncretism throughout history, and there are new traditions being born all the time, but the successful ones are formed with an understanding of all the influences they draw upon.

I think people's desire to overly personalise their practice very early on can end up impeding their development, or even have adverse effects depending on how they do it.

If you really want your practice to be something that helps you grow and develop as a person, you have to sometimes be willing to do things differently to your own preference.

If you go to a class – whether it's on martial arts, music, archery, biology, gardening – whatever it might be, it makes sense to follow instructions and not to assume you know better than the person teaching it. There can be room for experimentation once you've grasped the basics.

When it comes to spiritual and magical practices, there are additional stakes than just taking e.g. a pottery class. Spiritual practices have a lot more in common with medicine than they do with a casual hobby.

Practices like yoga, qigong, meditation, energy work and so on will have effects on your subtle body, which then affects your health when practiced for long periods of time. This is what those practices are created for. And they are subtle, which means you may not see an impact immediately.

If you stretch your body in a bad way, you feel immediate pain and know that you shouldn't do it like that. But with practices that affect the subtle body, it might take much longer, and the effects are not necessarily as direct and precise as they are with physical exercise.

If you do leg exercises, you pretty much only strengthen the legs. It is direct and precise. But the impact of a spiritual practice affects multiple aspects of your life: emotions, physical health, relationships, fortune, wisdom...

And of course, interfacing with spirits and gods can affect your fate in all of these ways.

There are insidious ways you can mess up your health and well-being if you don't practice properly. Otherwise, at best, nothing will happen and you'll just be wasting your time. Maybe it makes you feel cool – a lot of people get into spiritual practices because it's aesthetically pleasing and they're just looking for ways to reinforce a particular identity.

Again, that is not what these practices were created for, nor how they operate best.

I'm not saying that LARPing as a... I don't know... a dark tantric priestess of Hekate, Morrigan and Kali and 7 other gods, is going to ruin your life.

But I do see how people become obsessed and infatuated with their personal image, chasing the thrill of the aesthetic, and the thrill of self-categorisation. (It's a great marketing strategy, haha...)

As a mixed race person, I understand your position. I have had identity issues all my life. Part of why I got into all this was because I struggled deeply with who I am, where I belong, and what I'm even doing in this world. Caught between different countries, families, cultures, ideologies. I wanted something that was just for me, instead of feeling constantly torn in multiple directions. But which side does a bridge belong to? Does a bird belong in the sky or in the trees?

I don't think this is something you can reconcile by forcing two different worlds to integrate. I mean, maybe you can do this with two different cultures in the same region, or even on the same continent. But in my case... England and China are very, very different. Rather, I find more success to be found by choosing what influences to draw on at any given situation.

If you want genuine change – if you really want this path to empower you and help you feel at peace with yourself – you will trip over yourself if you try to make this about your identity. A big portion of spirituality is about deconstructing one's identity and ego, to realise that the world is far greater and more intricate than we know, and that there are no simple answers to life's great endeavours.

If anything, you have an advantage in this regard.

You will have to learn to be nimble, and resist the temptation to find the 'perfect' social-cultural-spiritual space to fit yourself into. Be nimble and learn to walk between worlds, and belong comfortably to all of them at the same time.

I hope this long ramble has been helpful to you 🌿 Good luck on the path.

PS: I recommend Consorting with Spirits by Jason Miller. It may further answer your questions on how to work with multiple traditions and pantheons.

[plasmometer]

Hi this is possibly gonna sound weird but I think your art may just be the most relatable one (to me personally, of course) I've ever seen. I'm a child of two STEM folk (machines and computers, respectively) so seeing the way you draw machines, with wires like veins and metal armature as bones is rather comforting - probably because I was raised on the stories of how the mechanical innards of factories work, and how computers sunder our complicated human processes into simpler code-based ones. It feels a little like being understood, somehow. That, and I find that your /work, pain and me/ comic and the /carpal tunnel syndrome art/ resonate with me immensely. I do not have carpal tunnel syndrome but I have, for the past 4 or so years (longer, perhaps, but before I do not remember my life from before that well. It's rather strange, how I don't know when it began but suddenly, one day, my body just started failing me) been in basically constant pain. I've done check-ups, hospital visits, and an awful amount of humiliating tests, all to prove nothing. No matter what I do, it always comes out that I'm as healthy as one can be. At least on paper, because physically I'm still in pain. Seeing the frustration, the anger at your body breaking apart before it's supposed to, before anyone else you know experiences it - the hurt and betrayal of not being able to trust your own self any more, because at any given point it might just stop working is very... Cathartic, I suppose. It's good to know I'm not the only one. It's good to know that people like me exists, and that people like me can still do great things. thank you

that ask kinda resurrected me. thank you! my father is an engineer, but i fell in love with industrial when i visited chemical factory/oil refinery. oh how my eyes opened when i saw all that. that moment, my whole life has changed. i believe that i made a contact with something big, and it continues to support me, in exchange for my eternal work. i hate gods and prayers, but mutual support sounds good for me. about pain, i am really sorry you feel that way. human body is fucked up and we don't know all about it. i have to deal with constant headaches in addition to carpal tunnel issues, and sometimes the only way is to move despite it. most of my life have been 'despite' everything, really. lastly, i am really glat that my art makes people think and feel, it is the only way for me to speak, after all. i am glad that somebody hears that

[lamarckianenterprises]

On Alledgely Intelligent Machines

All of this reminds me of like, two to three years ago when AI Dungeon 2 was this hot young thing and 'respectable' gaming news sites were posting opinion pieces about the wild unrestricted adventures they were having on it and how it would change the way they roleplayed forever, even though it was this bumbling, lawless thing that could barely find the plot to lose most of the time.

And then fast forward a year or so and we find out that the algorithm isn't magic, and that prompting it with 'the end' specifically outputs a 'thanks for reading, please donate to my patreon' message lifted from all of the thousands upon thousands of poor schumcks who had the misfortune of deciding to share their work online for other people to freely read.

All of this 'AI is progressing too rapidly and will one day very soon develop into real AGI that will change the world' malarkey is just jingling keys. I think it's called Longtermism, they want us to fret and fuss about how this will affect the lives of our great great great grandchildren commutting to Mars 200 years from now, and not about how this is affecting real people today.

"Think about how neat it would be to have an AI that can answer all of the questions left in the universe for us" Sam says, as his company hurriedly cuts ties with the underpaid Kenyan workers manually sorting and tagging the database his LLMs are based on.

"Look at how well it rhymes now, this will definitely distrupt the Poetry Industry which definitely is a thing that exists in real life I am a real scientist I know these things," his employees say, in a research paper hyping up their own product while they improve its ability to deepfake images that gradually erodes any trust we still have in our society.

All the while touting the most mediocre, average examples of just about any creative field as proof of its rapid, inevitable and perpetually explosive growth as if it was the figurative Antichrist heralding the coming of the Son of God and the Kingdom of Heaven.

I miss when we just let these things run rampant without a single care for consistent style and realism because we enjoyed witnessing what utter insanity it came up with, I miss when it was just a 'neat tool' that could maybe provide a freaky background or add trippy dogfaces to your clouds, I miss when we were wondering about what all of this weirdness said about what understanding language and having pattern recognition means when it's divorced entirely from reality instead of wondering how quickly we can refine and normalize its output well enough to mechanize all forms of artistry.

And above all else I miss not hearing about it, because honestly it still isn't that good. The slightly uncanny photos, mass art style plagiarism module and extremely resource intensive shorts are neat and all but, when it comes to prose, and DMing?

Well let's just say that AI Dungeon 2 crawled so that ChatGPT can sorta aimlessly waddle around in those babywalker things that seem neat and helpful, but are actually deathtraps that can cause long term health and developmental issues by actively preventing your child from spending the time they need to crawl around and develop the motoric skills and musculature needed to stand and fail repeatedly at walking. (Which is why they have been banned in Canada since 2004.)

_____

Maria D.R./Lamarck is an Indonesian writer whose boomer mother has talked about how great AI is to me and everyone in her social circle every damned day since ChatGPT was released.

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

Hey! For the ask game: 🌿🌻🍄🍰🍓👒

Hope you’re having a good day!

Hey! Thank you for the asks! I hope you're having a good day too!

🌿 who is your favorite character you've ever written?

That's a great question and arguably I want to say Hollis (Robots & Gardens). My technological know how is limited. I did robotics for like two years in high school and was obsessed with shows like How It's Made and Mythbusters. And other bits and pieces of information I've absorbed. So I'm really proud when I write a scene with her and it doesn't sound stupid as fuck. XD Wing that shit with the finest. Arguably this is why I love Digits too. Because her tech/prosthetics are ass it allows my mediocre mechanical and electrical and biological engineering status to be what it is. Hot garbage.

🌻 least favorite character / hardest to write

Cosma and Greeter (Space Don't Dictate Fate Characters) are so unbelievably hard for me to write. It was difficult in the original and it seems to be getting more complicated in the rewrite. Arguably Greeter is more difficult than Cosma for me. They elude me in the worst ways it's hard to just write from the gut with these fuckers. Something always feels off.

🍄 name a song that represents your mc

I'm just gonna pick one main character from each wip. Cosma (Space Don't Dictate Fate): Trying by Orion Sun Green (Robots & Gardens): Heartsink by Blood Red Shoes Saz (Fucked at Five): It Was a Monstering by Everything Everything

🍰 where you like to write

Anywhere the inspiration strikes really. As long as I have something to write with (phone, laptop, my notebook, sticky notes, etc.) I usually can't be stopped unless I am preoccupied or lack the motivation.

🍓 worst thing you've done to your characters

XD Ummm just one? Arguably the worst thing I did to them was create them and put them into their respective worlds. But I mean Greeter is getting tortured by a space god so RIP Greeter you would've loved pre-workout powder and jongs (jean thong please look it up XD).

👒 nicest thing you've done to your characters

Digits gets to experience the best kind of relationship, platonic. Digits gets two close friends out of the whole thing. She's friends with Peace and Green too she's just closest with Donnie and Hollis.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Important Side Quests

Playing a little bit of catch-up.

YESTERDAY

Back to base. I guess there are worse ways to wake up than morning coffee and cutscenes.

Aww. Erend. You and Kotallo are getting along. (No, really; you are. You would know if you weren't; trust me.)

One thing I've been asking - and I don't know if I can ask GAIA about ... I mean, we have reasonable prosthetics even in our now; they must be better in this version of the future, if they can create whole machine creatures. Can we not ... get ... Kotallo a prosthetic arm, or something? If he wants one?

Varl and Zo are so cute. ...Okay, who's gonna die?

No, but seriously, Varl ... you can't just tell someone to throw out their gods and build new ones. We will fix their gods.

Hi, GAIA. Here's AETHER. How're we doing on--?

Beta. I ... kind of get why everyone's a little side-eyeing you, but I guess the person who finds the "this will not work" in every plan does help refine the plan. Still, could you please give some positives--?

Ah. Okay. Yes. Thank you. No, don't worry, I can can deal with the Quen. I made friends with the Tenakth, didn't I?

...Can we? Now? Fix the land-gods?

YES!

Ah, Kotallo already asked about prosthetics! Great! I will definitely help with that!

Side quests ahoy but with all the cutscene, I don't have a lot of time. So over to Cinnabar Sands to free a land-god.

Aaaaaaaand hunting. No big.

...Is ... is that Burrower literally hiding from me? Instead of the other way around? It will not come out from behind that rock. Oh well. Climb rock. Silent STRIKE. And done.

(Like, literally; need to get to work.)

TODAY

Right. To that little pond where I did sort of free that land-god, but before I had the reboot code--

Aaaaaaaaand there's a Snapmaw.

...You know what? Fuck it. C'MON AND FIGHT ME, YOU MECHANICAL PAIN IN MY ASS!

And ... you will ... apparently stay in the water while I POONK all your weak spots. Win!

I'm loving the little bits of lore Zo's giving about the festivals to the various land-gods. I'm a sucker for world-building.

Aaaand over to Plainsong and-- Huh. Fane. Hi. Ah, dumping seed pouches from Kel and her apprentice because they can't be allowed to grow in Plainsong again. Sucks, but I can see the necessity.

Hi, Zo. I know, finally, right? I've been waiting to do this for ages and--

...Awwwwww. This is ... actually really beautiful. And I like the whole thing where ... I guess Elizabet Sobeck insisted that GAIA (and by extension the subfunctions) be ... at least somewhat human. GAIA didn't just build machines, but machines that look like creatures, because ... c'mon, wouldn't we? We anthropomorphise everything anyway. And if the Plowhorn land-gods have to have a reboot sequence? Have it sing; why not? Utilitarianism isn't the be-all and end-all, and what's life without a little joy, even in the supposedly utilitarian things?

Right. Onward to helping Kotallo pick up prosthetics bits.

If he decides he prefers the challenge of only having the one arm, I ... will respect his choice but be a little miffed at having to fight Spectres and things for him.

...Then again, I wouldn't want him to feel obligated to keep it if he's uncomfortable with it, even if I did go to a lot of trouble.

Right. I'mma let him go back to Base and ponder. Thornmarsh or Tide's Reach? Thornmarsh or Tide's Reach?

*checks quest log*

Thornmarsh. I have hints of issues in Thornmarsh, but no actual quest. I at least want the quest active in my journal.

Hrm. Poisoned water. I have time.

Dam made of machines, and more rebels? Gods, where do they all come from? I took out so many camps!

Climbiiiiiiiing...

Hangiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing... Stupid Fireclaw.

Right. Fireclaw goes first.

Oh, pity's sake, I am standing right here, rebels. Does my hair blend into the yick in the river? What.

Theeeeeere we go.

Well. All of this is just plain gross. Rebels are assholes.

Teamwork! ...And I can boot up my work machine while I wrap stuff up!

I ... don't even have time to check what my reward for this was; I gotta get to work fast!

Right. Yes. Worktime. Ugh, they've left the long shit for me again. I hate my colleagues.

[thevoidscreams]

@ask-lorgar

it is finally done. I had to stop myself from going further, but honestly, if there's interest, I will throw in the smut later.

Pairing: Lorgar x Special anon (or reader)

Things get just a wee bit spicy, but nothing too explicit....unless

I know staring is usually considered pretty rude. But can you blame me? He's so handsome, the best-looking man I'd ever met. Yet he wasn't really a man. He was more than any other human I'd ever encountered. Calling him human almost felt degrading. Even if he looked like a human being in the most basic of senses. There was that aura of authority and inhuman power to him that denoted him to being more than that. Not to mention the horns.

But all the same, his smile made my heart jump into my throat anytime I saw it. And Gods have mercy when he directed that rare glowing expression of happiness at me. It nearly made my knees buckle. I'd never thought I'd be so lucky as to be where I am now. To be perched upon the primarch and to have his fingers stroking a slow path up and then down my back. He always had some little gesture like that to remind me of my place. At his side. Or lap as the circumstances would have it.

Lorgar's lap was warm even when his armor was on. But without it, he was like a toasty furnace. His voice was such a deep rumble against my cheek as he spoke to one of his sons, a techmarine, if I wasn't mistaken. 

Lorgar had been making an effort to be more open and available to his legion, and they seemed to jump on the opportunity immediately and with great desire to be noticed by their gene sire. He was the only father most of them probably ever had. It was a touching and heartbreaking sort of relationship. I could see the gleam in the eyes of the word bearers as they heard the announcement. This marine ,I was certain, had been no different.

They'd been speaking on one subject or another for well over an hour now. It was nice to see and hear the underlying warmth in both men. I had always assumed tech marines would be like the mechanical and cold tech priests who'd taught this old marine his craft. But there was still a great fondness in him for his primarch.

"Thank you for seeing me today. I have enjoyed this time, Father."

"Of course, my son. I know I have been somewhat absent in the past, but I promise that will no longer stand."

The marine gave a respectful short nod to his father and exited his private office.

A brief moment passed in a comfortable silence as his fingers slowed and his hand came to a stop on my waist. I shivered, imagining all the other scenarios in which his hands might find themselves on my waist. 

"That was the last request I received for audiences today." I turned my gaze up to him and melted under the weight of it. His eyes were never so soft as they had been before he'd taken my advice to reconnect with his legion. He seemed happier now. Truly like a father with his sons. 

"You seem pleased by that." I noted, finding it a bit odd that he would seem glad to be done with his visits. I sat up straight and faced him.

"Yes, but I have missed your company all day." He murmured quietly and sweetly.

"We've barely been apart all day, Lorgar. Only when I went to retrieve our lunch." 

"True, but we haven't had the chance to really speak with one another. " He pulled me back against his chest and sighed. 

"Well, I'm not sure there's much to say considering most of it was silent in your lap." I teased, and Lorgar  chuckled. "I don't suppose you had much happen whilst retrieving our lunch."

I debated telling him that Erebus had said something rude to me again. I didn't want him to be angry with his son, though, so I decided to leave that bit out.

"No, nothing out of the usual." It wasn't a lie, Erebus was often cruel to me.  I was used to that. It was when he wasn't being an ass that I felt the need to worry. 

"But I did almost fall up the stairs because someone polished them and didn't tell anyone." A sudden look of worry struck his face, and I could see that he had not seen the humor in the situation the way I had. "But I'm fine. I didn't trip or fall. I caught myself." He heaved a sigh of relief and stood up. I made no move to do the same as I knew his arms would encircle me and keep me from falling. They did, big and strong, the way they always were. I found it almost unthinkable that he had ever been considered the weakest of his brothers. He adjusted me in his arms as he began walking away from his desk and towards the door to his private chambers.

Not that I had many examples to compare and contrast with. Just Lorgar. But honestly, how could any person stand in his presence and call him weak? I couldn't understand.

That train of thought was derailed as I felt the warmth of lips against my cheek.

"What do you think of when your eyes become so far away?" The question was asked in such a soft tone, but I caught the current of insecurity under it.

"Sometimes I'm just unable to think about anything but you. And when you pick me up, I'm reminded of just how strong you are." I returned the peck, mine far closer to his lips than the one he placed on my own cheek. It was like a challenge to him. Some days in the brief periods between tasks, we'd kiss each other, one on the high cheek, the next slightly lower. Till we were but mere millimeters from actually pressing our lips together.

I enjoyed this game, but I'd be a liar if I sometimes wished we could skip it and just get to the good part. But we never rushed it, there was much to do during the day and we couldn't spend all that time with our lips locked. I'd dreamt of it, in vivid detail, sometimes so real I was unsettled and confused upon awakening.

Those dreams never just stopped at kisses. 

I shivered and wrapped my arms around the large man's shoulders. He met my challenge, just as I had hoped he would. Kissing me just below the spot on my cheek where I'd kissed him. 

"What do you have planned for our quality time?" I inquired. "I thought we might relax and read or talk. I still know so little about your life before you came to me."

And for good reason. "And I know so much about you. I do suppose that is a bit unfair."

He pushed open the door to his room, and the smell of books and paper was heavy in the air. Texts on all manner of topics were piled high on most of the open spaces aside from his bed and some chairs.

I anticipated being set down,  but instead, he held me tight as he went for his bed. I tried to recall him mentioning sleep. It had most likely been a decent while since he'd actually slept.

"Having you here," he whispered against my neck, "It's made my life warmer and brighter than at any point I can remember."

My throat felt tight at those words. They were so sincere, and they should have made me smile, but they just made me want to cry. I made him happier than he'd been maybe ever. It hurt to know he had gone through so much. There was so much he didn't deserve. So much I wish I could scrub away from his past and steal away the pain he'd endured. My sweet primarch, I'd do anything to see him happy. Anything to make him smile. 

"My dear? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He cupped my cheek, and the tears fell more rapidly.

"You're happy, and it makes me so happy. But I know that I only make you happy because of all the awful things that have happened to you." I wrapped my arms over his shoulders and hugged him. 

"No. That's not true." He affirmed as he held my shaking form. "I love you, and no pain from my past has any effect on that. True, you have been unyielding in your affection and kindness, which have been two things greatly lacking in my life. But that lack is not what led me to love you. I love you because you are a beautiful soul who puts others ahead of your own self. Do not believe for a moment that my past could darken the love we share."

He pulls away, and I can see the sincerity in his eyes, I can feel it in the warmth of his voice and the touch of his hands as he guides me back to him. But he doesn't hug me, not like before. He leaned forward so close that I could lift my chin and meet his lips if I wanted. 

"After all, what is a dark past to a bright future?" 

Gently his lips press to mine. Almost as if he was inviting me to deepen it. I did. 

I pressed into him harder, as my lips parted and his mouth did the same. The warmth of his tongue caressed mine as we poured our passion into each other. My tears and fears were forgotten in that moment, banished by his reassurance. 

His hands ran down my body again, and stopped at the hem of my shirt.

"If we do not stop now I fear we may be here for the rest of the day." Lorgar panted as I also tried to collect myself and settle my breathing.

"Well I don't have any plans if you don't." I returned, smiling up at him.

"Oh Darling," he breathed excitedly, "you know I don't."