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awesome-cookies-and-cream · 4 years ago

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Reki and Langa’s dynamic

It’s speculation at my part and a shameless rant on what i like about sk8 just to get it off my chest I’ve been so fixated help

it’s 5am I’m at uni and i have a shit ton to do, am I really gonna make an essay about sk8 instead? yes abso-fucking-lutely. strap on to your metaphorical skateboards kids. this is going to be long ride

this isn’t to call out anyone lol so in case you get that impression I’m sorry. I understand everyone is out to interpret media in whatever they like and that’s fine, but sometimes i feel like either some missed some points of the story? anyway here are my thoughts tho

alright so what i absolutely love about sk8 is how they didn’t make anyone into a genius.Genius is a mockery of the hardships everyone does to attain that level of skills. And no Langa is not a genius or a prodigy which I will explain later. I’ve seen enough shounen animes back in the day and usually it’s ‘annoying heart of gold beginner vs. calm and collected genius’ they usually hate each other’s guts and bicker all the time though secretly, deep down care for each other but would rather die than admit it dynamic. While I’m glad we’re moving past that, I really thought Reki and Langa would be like that so....

imagine my surprise when Langa was the ‘beginner’ in skating. He has the potential to be a second sasuke here lol. (blue, handsome, cool) but no he isn’t. he’s an adorable idiot, an airhead, head empty only skating dude and i love it.

Reki as well. He could have been the usual protagonist. (sucks at his sport, loud, hardworking, and by the power of friendship he suddenly beats everyone else which i think is pretty overused at this point, don’t you think?) some people complain how Reki despite being the MC isn’t given screentime and hasn’t won a single beef. (and sure that’s true. he should have won some and langa lose some but we only have 12 eps so lol) but he’s not the usual protagonist you know? and sk8 isn’t about winning. if it was, I think they would have focused on the techniques. the hows and the what to do.

Idk if you noticed, but sports anime with winning in its goal would often explain in detail certain techniques. (see haikyuu) but shows like Free and Yuri on Ice isn’t exactly talking about how to win that seriously as Haikyuu did. It’s more focusing on the feelings and how their lives are affected with their passion for this sport. it’s about the character development!!! and i think SK8 is something like that too. It explores the character’s feelings rather than sport. (like what i tell my sister, they use the sport as a character device if that makes sense?)

this was literally in the opening lol. it’s really about the feelings you know?

so anyway it’s been pointed out several times that Reki was already feeling insecure about his skills in skating since ep 1 way before Langa came. But he still likes to skate and despite feeling never enough, he still enjoyed it. (some also pointed out that Reki’s reason of going into a beef against Shadow has been because he insulted his way of skating not because he wanted to be the best) so the show from the get go was already hinting at his self esteem issues.

this also implies that Reki has always been feeling like this in a while, added with his tendencies to bottle things up, it makes sense that he’ll blow up at some point and he’ll need to release all of those feelings. (so yeah i think this is just the right amount of eps for their fall out. i see some people complaining shush. otherwise it would also feel too rushed. this is years weighing him)

and i guess it’s also implied in here he’s had days like these too in the past! seriously it’s an ongoing problem he’s been carrying. i think 3 eps is pretty good enough pace to internalize it

so point: Reki was already down way before Langa came. langa just added to that. And don’t go blaming Langa cause the boy did nothing wrong.

Consider that Langa just lost his dad (i think we need more backstory on this though. please sdsjkdksl i need little Langa and his dad interactions) he just moved countries, and the only connection to his dad (snowboarding) is gone cause it doesn’t snow in OKinawa

though one also argues that Langa hasn’t been snowboarding since his dad was gone.

so for Langa, Reki introducing skating to him was revolutionary. You’re someone grieving over the death of what is probably the most important person in your life, the thing you love the most no longer gives you joy (as was shown in the flashbacks and basically Langa going ‘it’s the same’) and you’re in a new country with a language you barely are fluent. you can’t even read or write, and you barely have friends granted you don’t have much back in the day. it’s horrible.

and then this guy you barely know talks to you, befriends you, helps you get a job, and teaches you something you thought you’ve lost and through that you made more friends??

yeah you see why Langa likes Reki. You also see why he’s obsessed with skating. It’s kind of like a coping, a fixation. plus he’s bad with social cues i guess? the interview says he’s likely to get dumped for being too inattentive lmao and that’s what makes him interesting!

also the thing that really surprised me when they first interacted was how supportive Reki is to Langa. it also got to me with how much Langa thinks highly of Reki. Again a deviation to the ‘i say i hate you but deep down i care for you’ trope. they’re full on supportive and protective. i like that. it’s fresh to me. I thought Reki was going to the tsundere ‘hmph that’s not a big deal’ route at the start of ep 2 but he’s really amazed. (kinda also says he’s been very desperate for someone to share skating with but that’s another topic)

so Reki teaches Langa how to skate. and Langa sucks. Which was interesting to me because I thought Langa would be some flawless prince-like character. But nah. He trips and faints at his own blood lol. He’s so uncool and i love it.

Some people say Langa is over powered with a thick ass plot armor which gets him to win (which is why i see people saying he should have won against Joe and I actually agree that Langa should lose some beefs but again only 12 eps, so little time)

but I still wanna talk about it anyway so it’s revealed Langa was snowboarding since 2. That’s 15 years. I think that should be around the same time Joe and Cherry should be skating. and i think if you start earlier as a kid, your body develops differently. (should Langa, “an amateur” win against Joe a pro? the question falls more on whether you can classify Langa as an amateur) i think it’s like Langa being very used to motorcycle tricks from age 2 then suddenly he’s using a regular bicycle, and sure the feeling is mostly the same but there’s just something off. Your body doesn’t easily forget what you know, especially if it did it for 15 years. and so Reki customizes a board for Langa so it’ll feel exactly like snowboarding

So Langa has a customized board that he needed to get used to before he went pro. He really sucked the first few eps lmao. but that’s more of him getting used to the new rules. he pretty much told Reki in ep 2 that he can’t do a skateboard ollie, but he can do a snowboard one bec it’s attached to his feet.

(i may just want to add that one thing i also like about sk8 is that it really doesn’t care what you need for accommodation? if that’s how you do it best, then go for it. When Langa says to Reki he can’t do the ollie without the board attached to his feet, Reki immediately goes his way to accommodate him. usually people in real life might say ‘it’s not real skateboarding if you need a modification etc. but look at Cherry with a freaking AI board and people are like yeah whatever do what you want man. whatever rolls your board.)

so anyway Langa vs. Joe with Langa winning despite being an amateur? if you can even call him an amateur that is. Plus all his tricks are snowboarding tricks lol. everything he’s done is testament to his 15 years of snowboarding?? We don’t even know how good Langa is in snowboarding. Someone make a post about how difficult the snowboarding equivalent of those tricks Langa has done just to show people it means he’s pretty pro (I’ll even argue maybe Langa’s real talent is his creative ways of going around things which kind of why Adam is highkey obsessed, and calls Cherry who calculates everything to the last second boring but that’s a different can of worms I’m opening later) plus Langa barely won against Joe so there’s not much difference in level i think. Should Langa have lost though?

I think some have missed the point of that beef in Reki’s pov. and if the Renga reconciliation is done well, it would be worth it.

that beef got Reki to realize he what he really wants! that it’ll kill him if he can’t skate anymore! that he doesn’t wanna only cheer on for others and be a support! THAT HE WANTS TO SKATE BY LANGA’S SIDE WHICH IS THE REASON FOR ALL THIS INSECURITIES if Langa lost, that cathartic realization might not have happened. He might have gone to Langa and cheered him up, brushed off his insecurities and, made up with Langa halfheartedly without addressing his problems

I’m going to go back to Reki’s insecurities. In ep 6 he’s been afraid of being left behind, and sure Langa came back for him but he still forgot until midway. (will that parallel how Langa got too excited with the idea of skating, the same feeling he thought he lost forever. The same thing that he thinks connects him with his dad, and might have left Reki behind, but later remembers and goes back to chase him? hopefully) in ep 4 it’s obvious he’s afraid of the near death experience Adam gave him, and he’s just realized how different their skills were. in ep 5 he worries about Langa, enough to get nightmares about it. mixed with his friend getting hurt. it’s obvious the feelings are very very muddled there.

So he begs Langa not to skate with Adam.

And what did Langa do? say that he wanted to skate with Adam. (again he’s not the most attentive. he probably thinks he’s just skating with his best friend, all is good then boom. Reki leaves. as a person shit with dealing with other people, i don’t blame him at all) he’s trying to fix it though, but his bond with Reki primarily revolves around skating! how else was he going to warm up with Reki? He also doesn’t know that Reki has self esteem issues that’s always been there since the beginning. He probably doesn’t understand it too because he holds Reki up highly. in ep 6 when Reki was going over his board, Langa thinks he’s pretty cool. he didn’t hear what other said to Reki. He’s earnestly having fun with his friend

We should also note that Reki was never angry at Langa’s skills, he wasn’t resentful that Langa was far ahead. Again he’s been nothing but supportive. He doesn’t want to pull Langa down. He wasn’t like Miya’s friends that lashed out at Miya for being better. in ep 7 he tries his best to follow Langa

it feels like he’s mostly regretful that he can’t catch up. he doesn’t want Langa to slow down, he wants to go faster and meet him where he was. So it makes the realization that all he wants to do was be in equal with Langa more frustrating because he thinks he can’t keep up. (and this only ever started when he heard he’s like Langa’s plus one. there’s that daunting feeling about being pulled around. not being his equal)

if you need further proof, when Langa and Joe were having a beef, he wasn’t aggressively hoping Langa would lose. in fact he encouraged him. He worries deeply He calls him out when he was doing badly. Still very supportive as ever. So really the frustration isn’t to Langa, again, it’s all internal. He wants to be better

so he’s feeling shit and Langa goes to him in the middle of the rain, bless langa for trying, thinking talking about skating (what he thinks Reki loves and would probably cheer him up, not knowing that’s exactly his problem) tells him

which is probably the worst he could say.

THAT’S what got Reki mad, not really Reki being insecure though that’s part of it, that’s what they’re fighting about, Reki is angry he’s breaking his promise. He thinks Langa doesn’t care about Reki, that he’ll easily break a promise between them that Reki obviously cares about just so he can go skate with Adam who is way better than him. It blows to the self esteem. Reki probably also think that if only he was better, langa wouldn’t bother skating with someone that dangerous. it doesn’t help at all.

but langa doesn’t know this. he doesn’t see all this. Langa might have been too up the high of skating like in ep 6, he sorta left Reki behind again.

it kinda makes Langa’s mom’s words hit harder though

and he did just that. he got too engrossed.

It parallels adam, cherry and joe’s friendship then probably tadahsi’s too but who knows? reki and langa, and tadashi and adam might parallel too, the master and the student thingy Adam might have gotten too obsessed. So Joe trying his best to make sure Reki and Langa won’t end up like them hits a little harder in my chest ;’)

but Langa won’t be to engrossed i think

because unlike Adam who’s aggressively looking for his ‘equal’, Langa is just looking for someone who makes his heart beat, to make him feel like he’s skating with his dad again, someone he loves dearly. (there’s a parallel about loves here too between Adam’s and Langa’s. but I can’t write it now) and he probably already thinks Reki is his equal anyway. He just wants to have fun. he doesn’t think much about the skills.

maybe at first he does. that’s why he’s drawn to Adam but from ep 9, it was pretty much shown that skills really doesn’t matter from when he skated against Joe

if Adam easily discarded his friends because he think they’re boring (which was why the whole skateboard to the face thing with Cherry), langa doesn’t think like that

if anything Reki is important to Langa because he only has fun skating with Reki, who taught him how to skate and made his board. (his board that was customized to fit his style btw, and arguably the only reason he could skate that well. without it, he might as well be a beginner once again.) so without reki, langa is left with nothing. especially with his broken board

no fun in skating, no way of skating. He’s only manage to get this far because of Reki and he knows that now. All of it would be pointless if he doesn’t have Reki (and either he gets so obsessed in chasing that feeling again, or he stops completely) but in case you haven’t noticed it, Langa’s motivation revolves around having fun with skating no matter the skill or place. And he’s having most fun with Reki.

But Reki obviously doesn't know Langa’s feelings. He thinks Langa was forever looking for someone better. So he’s still caught up in the idea that Langa won’t want to skate with him (even though Langa has never shown this) and he left S entirely, thinking what he wants is impossible. fucking just talk you two motherfucker

(I also wanna point out that Reki has always been shown from episode one to be good at making boards. And that’s amazing? We need some support recognition and appreciation, seriously) I think maybe most who find problem with Reki not winning beefs like the usual shounen protags aren’t used to the nuance and perspective of being someone ‘ordinary’. Reki’s character is relatable because most of us feel ordinary, never enough, surrounded by geniuses, ‘inferior’. And if we’re being realistic since a lot are saying joe should have won because langa winning is unrealistic and you want realism so bad no I’m not salty at all there will always be someone better than you. ALWAYS. but what’s important is for you to have fun in what you love! in what makes you happy! AND even if you’re not good at one thing (in Reki’s part, skating) he’s also good at other things (making boards) so does he need to stop one for the other? no. He’s shown to enjoy skating with Langa, he doesn’t wanna stop it hurts him so much he quit. But he can also hone his skills in making boards as well as skate. He’s equal with Langa in a way he doesn’t even notice when he made that board for Langa, but even Reki’s presence alone makes Langa enjoy skating the way Reki also wants Langa by his side.

So I think the next ep is the best time to confront all these feelings. And how it happens might be what’s tricky. Like romantic or not, i personally can read it both ways though i prefer if they do become canon. (idk if it’s queerbaiting. i guess friends can care as deeply as that but ngl, these shounen bestfriends having deep connections that are written off as friends while also giving us bland af hetero love interests who did nothing but exist and be straight really is messing with my perception of romantic and platonic love irl) anyway their talk better be done really well, or else all those episodes of tension would be for nothing

It’s a nice perspective to give a shounen protagonist this time. It’s new, it’s fresh. How many incarnations of underdog turned the best at their craft can you take? variety is nice! and if you don’t like it, there are always a dozen other animes like that for you to turn to. to conclude, IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE START: WHAT IS YOUR HAPPINESS???! AND FOR THEM IT’S THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BUT IN A VERY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. FRIENDSHIP DOESN’T SUDDENLY GET YOU TO LEVEL 100000000000 TO DEFEAT THE FINAL BOSS. FRIENDSHIP IS WHAT MAKES DEFEATING THE FINAL BOSS WORTHWHILE

Anyway tldr; maybe the real Eve is the friends we made along the way :D and idk if I’m making sense but obviously I’m head empty only sk8. Renga needs to talk, i can’t believe they have the audacity to make a recap episode as if i wasn’t head empty only sk8 since february, and if there’s more emotional edging to come, i will burn some of the palm trees outside my house

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suki-schiffer · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on Rule of Wolves

A compilation of my raw initial thoughts and feelings after reading Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo, sequel to King of Scars, seventh book in the Grishaverse. I just finished reading Rule of Wolves (RoW) yesterday and wanted to get some of my unaltered thoughts and feelings on paper before they become influenced by rereads and by being exposed to others’ opinions. There’s little rhyme or reason to this, it jumps all over the place, I’m not taking the time to check spellings etc. also, spoilers.

I am probably evaluating all the Grishaverse (GV) books a little too harshly because I can’t help but compare them to the Six of Crows (SoC) series which were the first books from the GV that I read. The whole reason I picked up King of Scars (KoS) last year was because I wanted more of that joy I got from SoC, only when I started reading KoS did I realize that the GV books aren’t just set in the same universe but have intertwining plots and characters at which point I realized I’d ruined the Shadow and Bone (S&B) series for myself but I did go back and read that too even though it definitely would not have been something I would have picked up if it had no connection to the other books. The S&B series wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t my cup of tea, as it truly was a YA series with characters that were pretty one dimensional being driven by pure motives down a predictable plot. Many of these characters make a reappearance in KoS and RoW and while they have a bit more dimension to them now they are still too pure, too perfect, and my feelings about them from previous series still stuck.

I don’t like Zoya. I didn’t like her when I first read about her is SoC and I really hated her after reading S&B. Those feelings were hard to cast off when she becomes a slightly better person in KoS/RoW but the entire time I couldn’t help but think she was undeserving not just of being a main character but of being a member of the Grisha Triumvirate, of being Nikolai’s love interest, of that ridiculous amount of power, and of becoming Ravka’s queen. I felt like her “backstory” was rather forced to try to make us like her more. Like oh, how sweet, she has a secret garden with a plant for everyone she’s lost. She still came off as a bitch. I honestly still don’t know what drives her. In S&B first it’s her desire for power and beauty and the Darkling’s attentions then when her aunt is killed she joins Alina maybe for revenge? But other than Alina asking for her to be part of the Triumvirate I didn’t really know why she was in that role don’t know how or why she agreed to become Nikolai’s general, because she loved him? Or perhaps it’s because she’s still just power hungry wanting to lead the Grisha, wanting to lead the army, wanting to lead the nation?

Disregarding my feelings for Zoya, her power increase in KoS and RoW is ridiculous. How is it that she is the only Grisha (save perhaps the now dead saints) who can break down matter small enough to draw power from every order? You’re telling me that this girl manages to do this after a few weeks with Juris but people like Baghra or the Darkling who are hundreds of years old and significantly stronger and were actively trying to strengthen themselves couldn’t do this? Ilya Morozova, the Darkling’s grandfather, did all kinds of experiments, dabbling in merzost, how is it the Darkling, in all the years he spent waiting for a sun summoner, not at least dabble in the other orders in attempt to summon sun himself? If you were to rank characters by power on a scale of one to ten I would have said the Darkling was a ten but Zoya blows that scale out of the water when she becomes the dragon, a character this powerful just feels wrong. Not to mention she didn’t even really work for this power, she trains with Juris for a bit in the Fold and then makes his scales into fetters, there was no years of study and practice or meditation, no struggle, just bam! Power.

So yes, still don’t like Zoya and I think her character arc, if you will, decreased the quality of the book.

Again, I’m comparing things to SoC but in comparison RoW was rather predictable. There were definitely a few twists I didn’t see coming and a few questions that were left unanswered but with SoC I was constantly guessing at what would go wrong, what the new plan was, I was constantly on my toes. That constant guessing kept me interested, by comparison I was at times bored with this book, if I put a book down (mid-chapter even!) to scroll through Tumblr or watch Youtube videos or do something else for the sake of enjoyment before finishing that book that’s a sign it isn’t all that interesting, and that’s what I was doing with RoW.

It was just too predictable. Like oh no, the Darkling tricked you into meeting Alina and Mal, got his power back, and fled, who’d’ave guessed it? What’s this? Hanne ended up getting too much attention and might be forced to marry the prince, Rasmus, of Fjerda because of it? Ehri’s guards make another attempt on her life? Nikolai weasels his way out of marrying Ehri because his true love is Zoya, no way! Joran, this young Druskelle who is for some reason being punished by having to be Rasmus’ guard is the one who killed Matthias? Oh and why is guarding Rasmus a punishment when he could be the hope of getting Fjerda to end the war? Because he’s an abusive shit who hates feeling weak so he tries to make others feel weaker, didn’t see that one coming, nope, definitely not.

Now for a few of the things that surprised or confused me that I’m still sort of confused about. Let’s start near the beginning with the Fold suddenly, not so much as expanding as just, appearing in different places all over the world with seemingly no rhyme or reason. I didn’t really get how a pocket dimension existed within the Fold in the first place or how the saints got trapped in it but apparently breaking out of it allowed the Fold to take on a will of its own whereas it had previously been stable for hundreds of years. Also the Darkling not having any powers after leaving the Fold was confusing, I shouldn’t necessarily say “any” because he seemed to have been able to make subtle changes to Yuri’s body to make it look more like his own but I didn’t understand how his power could seemingly enter his body granting him control and consciousness but then he not have any power until he gets Mal and Alina’s blood (also wasn’t clear what he did with the blood, did he just have to touch it, did he stab all three of their hands so the blood mingled?). This just sort of felt unnecessary and that it was just a means to pull Alina et al back into the story.

In KoS it was implied that the use and existence of Jurda Parem was the reason Nikolai’s monster came back and the saints now had enough power to create miracles to entice them to the Fold and draw them into the pocket world, this theory is never mentioned again. Can you tell I’m just really confused about everything related to that pocket world?

Speaking of that interaction with Alina and co I was honestly hoping Yuri might have a bit more of a role in the story. Yuri had seemed sort of willing to let the Darkling use him as a vessel and Nikolai discovering he was still in there with the “there’s something in your beard” line didn’t clue me into the fact that there could be more to this because I assumed he was still on the Darkling’s side. But then he tries to warn Alina of what he’s about to do and I thought, oh, maybe he has second thoughts, maybe there’s going to be a fight now for control of the body and Yuri might be able to stop the Darkling from doing something sinister by fighting back at the right moment. Alas, he goes back to singing the Darkling praises. I get that Yuri is a bad guy but I still kind of felt bad for him, not enough to care about his wellbeing, at least not until the very end because as far as I’m aware Yuri was still in his body with the Darkling when the Darkling decided to have a bit of a redemption arc by condemning himself to an eternity of pain to close the Fold and keep it closed. As far as I’m concerned the Darkling deserves that fate, Yuri doesn’t.

Speaking of the Darkling taking control of another’s body another thing I was left wondering about happened in one of Nina’s earlier chapters when the new Wellmother from the convent Nina and Hanne had been at arrives at the Ice Court to accuse Hanne of worshipping the Saints instead of Djel. At the end of this chapter the Wellmother’s eyes are described as slate grey, I’ve only ever heard the Darkling’s eyes be described that way. I really thought that the Darkling was just pretending to be powerless and had actually developed a new power of taking over other’s bodies and he was just biding time by gathering intel and causing chaos this way, I thought this might have also been how he was creating the mini-Folds all over the world (look I know they had a Ravkan name that roughly translated to vampire but I’m not going back into the book to find the spelling and calling them vampires just... no). I was so concerned for Nina, here this woman is claiming to actually be part of the Ravkan spy network and that Nikolai needs her to get close to Demidov Lantsov. This order made no sense because Nikolai knew he wasn’t a Lantsov and the existence of another Lantsov doesn’t mean much, as long as the people think Nikolai is the legitimate son of the former king and queen then he outranks every other individual with Lantsov blood in terms of succession. Also if this were a legitimate request it seems like there would have been much easier and safer ways to communicate this than have someone come from across the country making false claims against Hanne that could put her under suspicion thus limiting Nina’s ability to move. I thought this was therefore some sort of trap to expose Nina, and potentially Hanne, and the fact that nothing came of it left me confused. We never see this Wellmother character again, Nina does not get exposed, when we get the Darkling’s POV in the second part of the book he mentions nothing of this encounter nor is it suggested that he actually has such a power.

I then thought perhaps if the Darkling survived and was now in Yuri’s body perhaps this was his mother, Baghra, come back to life as well. Then we get thrown a random line during one of the Darkling’s chapters where he mentions the existence of a half-sister that was also declared a saint that I don’t recall hearing about before this instance, in fact I’m pretty sure Baghra said something in the Spinning Wheel about only having one child because she didn’t want a repeat of what happened to her and her sister and that she didn’t even remember who Aleksander’s father was so if the Darkling knows of this half-sister we would assume it’s Baghra’s child. Apparently though this sister was referenced in the only GV book I haven’t read being Language of Thorns (just a side note RoW is said to be the seventh book in GV but if you include The Lives of Saints and The Language of Thorns it is actually the ninth). I could be wrong, maybe Baghra never said anything about her son being her only child, or maybe this is another case of Bardugo altering things between series. She did this with Nina’s backstory because in SoC when Matthias talks about courting her properly and having dinner with her family she said that she hadn’t seen them in years since she went to the Little Palace but in KoS and RoW she’s an orphan who grew up in an orphanage and doesn’t remember her parents. Point being, after that line I thought the Wellmother might have been the Darkling’s half-sister since she had claimed to have been a spy in Fjerda for thirteen years which would mean she’d been there since before the events of S&B, if that is true then it likely couldn’t be Baghra. I’m still hung up on this character though, for all the reasons outlined, yet the KoS series is over and she only made one appearance so maybe she just was a spy with slate grey eyes.

As mentioned previously I knew Nikolai wasn’t going to marry Ehri but I didn’t realize Genya and David were going to be the ones getting married, or maybe “renewal of vows” would be a better term. I’m perfectly content to have this come out of the blue, predictable can be boring, but then it started getting weird. I had just assumed previously that Genya and David had been married sometime between the end of the S&B series and the start of KoS as that’s when they start being referred to husband and wife (same with Nadia and Tamar) and I had no reason to believe it wasn’t the wedding they wanted. Then there’s mentions of them having a hasty wedding in Ketterdam and this just felt like yet another attempt to placate and garner hope in readers by referencing SoC. As far as I know David wasn’t in Ketterdam during the SoC series, he was the only one who stayed in Ravka, even if he was there and just wasn’t “on screen” I don’t understand why they would choose to get married then and there. And if not during the events of SoC then when? What reason did they have to both be in Ketterdam outside of the events of SoC and decide they couldn’t wait to have a proper wedding in Ravka? I was angry at this point because a similar thing was done in KoS where lines about SoC kept getting dropped and getting my hopes up that the other crows would make an appearance and they didn’t.

But back to the wedding, running off to his workshop because he had an idea during his own wedding is totally in character for David. Him dying was just evil. Didn't even cross my mind that this was a possibility, one minute we go from Genya digging through the rubble in her wedding dress saying she can’t find him then we are at his funeral. I thought he might have been gravely injured, unconscious for a long period of time, and that he’d had an idea for an invention that would help them win the war and he’d save the day by waking up in time or something. But no. My favourite character from S&B was killed off, just like that. And it was impactful, it made me cry, the fact they had found him pen in hand, fingers stained with ink, in his wedding clothes, the fact that in his notebook he has notes about how to woo Genya and she wants him to have it in death. Beautifully written, definitely salty about it. At this point in time I don’t really see how his death furthered the plot but death in real life is like that to, it’s unexpected, without reason, sudden. And perhaps, like Matthias’ death in SoC, it will be used to later start a new plot for a new story.

Now two paragraphs ago I was lamenting the fact that the mention of Ketterdam felt forced and had the intent of fooling the readers into having hopes the other SoC cast would return but then they keep hinting at it, they talk about contacting Kaz, about travelling to Ketterdam and I’m sitting there thinking please, please, please actually have Kaz meet them, don’t just be letters or some other minor Dregs sent in his place. (!!!! <- there are no words for my excitement!)

I made an audible screech when Nikolai gave money to the beggar because I knew that was Kaz in disguise. I was so pleased to hear that it sounds like Pekka did not return to the Barrel and that Kaz bought the Emerald Palace and expanded the Crow Club. I was slightly disappointed that Inej wasn’t trailing Nikolai and Zoya too or that she wasn’t meeting with them in the Crow Club probably mainly because I just wanted to see her again but there was also a sadness that it sounds like she did decide to walk a different path than Kaz. The fact that Nina had, earlier in RoW, talked about how she hoped for Inej’s sake Kaz had fixed his hair cut by now, contributed to this because obviously she thinks they stayed together. Maybe they are together in a way but long distance relationships without any suggestion of communication technology must be hard, especially when Kaz could be taken out by another Barrel boss or Inej’s ship blown up by pirates (or the Kerch as was implied by Nikolai) and the other might not ever know of their fate and certainly wouldn’t be there to save them, so I feel that due to this they wouldn’t actively be in a relationship. However, I am proud that Inej put her dreams before Kaz’s she could have given up those dreams to stay at his side and continue to be his spider, after all, that’s what he had asked her to do he wanted her and he wanted her to stay, in the Dregs, with him. Wasn’t too thrilled that she’s used as a sort of damsel in distress. Help us Mister Brekker and in exchange I’ll give you a device that acts as an early warning system against the submarines I gave the Kerch (yes they have a different name that starts with an i and there’s a z and y and m in there somewhere but instead of me trying to spell it lets call them what they are, subs) because the Wraith will be blown up otherwise as she won’t be able to get away in time.

I don’t know if it was because this part of the story was written better or if it was just because I like these characters so much more (my darling baby boys!) but I felt like the story finally developed momentum here that it was lacking previously. I love that Wylan and Jesper are living together with Wylan’s mother and acting like an old married couple. I also like that Wylan is trying to keep Jesper away from illegal activities but is also clearly continuing to work on chemistry projects and likely explosives and that Jesper’s love of Barrel flash hasn’t been quashed, Zoya actually even compliments it in her head. I also love how, as soon as Wylan hears this illegal act can help Inej, all restraint is thrown out the window. Kaz was able to pull off so many tricks in such a short time too, I love it. First dressing as a beggar, then pretending the operation will be more difficult than it is in order to drive the price up, then pretending that due to changes in how the goods are being stored at the military base they couldn’t carry out the operation with such a small crew, meanwhile he knew the Suli were there and would connect with Zoya and show them the “backdoor” to the base. Now I completely understand how Ketterdam was built on slavery or, as they like to call it, indentures, so I can see how Suli would have built the place, I imagine some of the Suli are still in Ketterdam, why they returned to the military base that night I don’t know. Also the fact they were all wearing jackal masks, something Inej said is reserved only for holy men, Suli seers, and wearing one was akin to sacrilege if you were not a seer, implies that all these people were the rare seers which seemed a bit unlikely. The fact that Zoya has this encounter and an earlier one made me think that maybe the Suli would play a larger role in RoW than what they end up doing (because this is the last we see of them, they don’t come to fight the battles, they don’t impart secret knowledge to help Ravka win the war, Zoya doesn’t find her father or her uncles or decide to learn more about her Suli heritage).

I was very disappointed with how quickly we leave Ketterdam, Kaz, Wylan, and Jesper. I suppose we do the same thing with Alina and co at the sanatorium where there is no proper goodbye. In one chapter we finish the job/plot point and in the next the main characters have left. At the end of the day I suppose I was just glad we actually had a few scenes with the crows and not just hints, was definitely the most surprising part of the book.

The crows were a positive surprise Nina and Hanne getting together was more of a negative one for me. It was hinted at in KoS but Nina has also been said to have made eyes at a pair of shoes so I had hoped the relationship wouldn’t grow beyond flirting, I feel it just diminishes what Nina and Matthias had. She also doesn’t seem to feel any remorse for moving on so quickly and even though she’s still thinking about him, about her promise to save some mercy for his people and country, and trying to fulfill her promises, she’s also forsaking him by getting together with Hanne.

That being said I, like Nina, really did believe Rasmus had killed Hanne near the end of RoW and while I hadn’t wanted them to be together the damage to the relationship Nina and Matthias had was done and I was thinking “really, you’re going to do this to my girl Nina twice, take away the person she loves, twice, for no good reason?” So that was a surprise and I was glad that Hanne did survive but I really don’t see how she could live as Rasmus and even if she could pull it off I don’t see the Fjerdan people, military, or royalty permitting a prince to marry Mila, a widowed fishwife. Nina was saying something about using her power to get the answers from the dead which I thought was a very weird development for her powers in the first place. In KoS when Nina said that she was hearing the voices of the dead I thought it was more about she was sensing a mass grave and could tell that the bodies were women and the death unnatural. Near the end of KoS I thought perhaps there were some memories left in the brains that she could access, names and how they died. But in RoW Nina is able to reach out to the dead, identify the queen’s best friend and lady-in-waiting and ask her questions and get answers and implies she can do this with Rasmus as well. There are a lot of logistic fallacies with this. One, it implies that people don’t go to the Saints or to Djel or to any kind of afterlife when they die but that they stick around their corpses. It also implies that Nina can probably override their free will, the women and girls at the factory had “called” to her, I doubt Rasmus and the lady-in-waiting would want to share everything so freely. Finally, if Nina can communicate with the dead then how come Matthias’ voice that she heard in the beginning of KoS was just her imagination and not really him? This could also make Nina incredibly powerful, no need to torture or bribe secrets out of someone or try to steal top secret documents, just kill them with a bone dart and demand answers of their ghost.

In regards to Nina’s power I am disappointed with how little she used it in RoW. With the exception of speaking to the dead I believe she briefly controlled two of the newly dead Priest Guard to restrain the Apparat for all of maybe thirty seconds and that was it for the entire book. While Nina has always done undercover work or subterfuge, pretending to be native to find Grisha in hiding, sneaking into the Ice Court pretending to be part of the Menagerie, pretending to be Mila the translator for Leoni and Adrik, she has always come off as a warrior to me so to not see her fight at all in RoW seemed a bit out of character. There was opportunity but it wasn't seized and honestly it left me wondering what Nina actually really accomplished during RoW, she didn't free Nikolai's true father, she didn't free any Grisha or destroy Fjerda's parem or find labs and holding facilities, she didn't help win any battles, didn't actually manage to dissuade Rasmus from war. Zoya took her from the Leviathan, flew her all the way to the frontlines of the north where there was death aplenty, and then flew her all the way back without her ever doing more than cling to Zoya’s back. Surely she could have raised some of the dead just to drive the point home, no?

The one thing I did like about the final battle was that we finally got to see the Darkling be less than perfect, a theme that sort of carried through the book. He started off with no power, mind you his scheme to get it back went off without a hitch, but then he was pretty much on the run having to trade manual labour for food. Yet he had this plan and I had no reason to believe it wouldn’t work out for him, that he’d go to the frontlines, preform a miracle saving Nikolai and Ravka, and manage to get himself declared a saint for his troubles. Instead we see him just as affected by the disk bells as everyone else, we see him try to summon shadow, try to summon nichyvoya (I acknowledge that’s spelled incorrectly, I can’t be bothered to find the correct spelling) and he can’t. I thought it was glorious.

While the Darkling did end up doing some good in RoW, helping Nikolai’s monster stay alive long enough to destroy the disk bells, shutting up the Apparat (why isn’t he dead, his character is a harbinger of bad things to come and he’s a creep, how did Zoya not kill him?) in order to give Zoya a better chance of getting the throne, and finally sacrificing himself to the Thornwood to undo the damage he let loose on the world with the creation of the Fold, I didn’t feel as though he had redeemed himself and for this I was glad. There are all kinds of evil characters in GV and the Darkling likes to pretend that his reasons are pure, that he’s protecting and strengthening the Grisha, but he is a mass murderer seemingly without empathy, he happily manipulates people to get his way, puts Genya, who at the time could be considered a child, into the king’s path, then later mutilates her as punishment for letting Alina get away, all for the sake of his own cause. In the GV I hated Van Eck and Brum and Heleen much more than the Darkling, but I do think he’s the most evil of them all, in part because his unnaturally long life has meant he’s been committing evils for centuries. I’m glad that it sounds like this is the end for his character and that while in the next series Zoya wants to free him from his eternity of agony that freedom will come in the form of death.

Speaking of the potential plot of the next series, I can’t believe that without even doing any research they are able to come to the conclusion that a “heart strong enough” is the heart of Saint Feliks and they intend to send Kaz after this, what if they’re wrong? Also, they finally bring Inej into the story for Zoya’s coronation, don't know what reason she had for being there. But then we’re done dirty because Inej doesn’t get to meet Alina although she catches sight of her, and they are ready to send Inej back to Kaz with a message about finding this saint’s heart but she’s already left so they’re just going to use a plain old flyer instead! You could have at least sent our darling Inej, treasure of our hearts, back to do Kaz the honour of acquiring him a new heart. But no, brief meaningless appearance and she’s gone.

Unfortunately, it seems there was a lot of things I was displeased with in RoW. I think overall the main problem the RoW (and KoS) is that it just became too big, the characters became indistinct because they grew out of character, there were too many references to past stories and characters in attempt to please readers rather than for the sake of the story, there were too many characters and plots to keep track of in general, and due to all this I couldn’t remain suspended in disbelief. I approach this as someone who entered the GV through SoC, I picked up SoC because the story was interesting, I picked up KoS and S&B because they were set in the same universe as SoC not because I particularly wanted to read those series. I had thought I could be interested in KoS on its own because it is more complicated than a typical YA novel and Nina is one of the main characters but now having finished RoW I have to say that if the GV really was just a collection of stories set in the same universe but with no intersecting of series I would have never have read this one. Will I go back and read KoS and RoW again? Yes, of course. Will I sometimes pretend that it never existed when I reread SoC? Yes, of course. But I do think the wait and the hype was worth it even if just for the few chapters with the Dregs again, because let’s face it, that’s what I personally was waiting for.

So I wrote this as a Word document over the span of three days and it’s now over 5000 words long, completely unedited, no order, probably reads like chaos. I want to see if and how my opinion changes over time but I’ve decided to post this because I like reading and watching others react to things I like so maybe someone else out there is like me and will find this and get some enjoyment from this.

#rule of wolves #grishaverse #king of scars #leigh bardugo #six of crows #shadow and bone

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passionate-reply · 4 years ago

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the human league for the band ask 👀👀

Cheeky, aren’t we, Ruby?

FAVOURITE SONG: “Austerity / Girl One”

Where to even begin here? Everything about this song just goes off the shits? It’s long as fuck, it’s a medley of two original compositions for some reason, it has this creepy, minimal synth backing, the lyrics and the narrative are so powerful. I mean, lord knows I have said to people, ”When the best of men take bribes, isn’t it the fool who doesn’t?” and they’ve probably thought that’s in the Bible or some shit. Meanwhile I just sit there, smugly laughing to myself because that’s a quote from a fucking Human League song. Delicious. Runners up: “Rock ‘N’ Roll,” “Darkness,” “Being Boiled.”

LEAST FAVOURITE SONG: “Human”

Feel free to substitute any of those songs they did in the early 90s and miraculously got into the charts with, I forget their names. Late period Human League is messy. Very much disposable pop that I have a hard time vibing with. I mean, okay, the mid-80s stuff isn’t exactly up my alley either, but at least it’s weird, you know? I find it hard to really dislike “The Lebanon,” because I find the sheer absurdity of the Human League doing a political rock song amusing. This later stuff is just kinda boring.

HAVE I EVER SEEN THEM LIVE: No :(

But I would in a heartbeat. I know they’re kind of an 80s flashback cruise-tier band at this point, but I don’t give a shit, I’d see them anyway. For the cred.

FAVOURITE BAND MEMBER: Philip Adrian Wright

Hear me out on this one. The original Human League literally hired this guy specifically to work projection and slides when they performed. What kind of ridiculous job is that? I love it. And then when Marsh and Ware left to do B.E.F./Heaven 17 stuff, he ended up playing synths. He’s basically the only person in the more recognizable lineup of this band who has any actual musical ability. Despite not even being in the band to do music. Iconic! Nobody really gives a damn about him, and disappeared to God knows where in the mid-80s, but here on Passionate Reply, we stan Phil 2. What a legend.

LEAST FAVOURITE BAND MEMBER: ...

Once again there is no obviously bad member of the Human League, but I’m going to use this as an excuse to point out that Phil Oakey literally has no idea what he’s doing and isn’t really a musician in any meaningful sense. Marsh and Ware hired him because they kind of knew him from school, and he was popular, well-dressed, and owned a motorcycle. That’s literally it. Phil is a complete joke. I don’t actually dislike him, though, because he’s living his best life and he owns being a flamboyant frontman pretty well, considering. I wish Phil 1 well, and I hope he still has that motorcycle.

HOW MANY OF THEIR ALBUMS YOU HAVE: 2

Once again, I have millions of digital files. But as far as vinyl goes, I own their debut, Reproduction, as well as their weird instrumental EP The Dignity of Labour, which is a concept album about Yuri Gagarin’s spaceflight. (The early Human League were ridiculously weird like that and I love that for them.) I’m almost certainly going to talk about Dare on Great Albums in the future, but I actually don’t care for the cover art all that much, despite it being super iconic. So I actually might have to do a video where I don’t own the vinyl...

FAVOURITE ALBUM: Reproduction

Easy to guess given that I’ve lavished so much love on the original lineup era here, but there you go. This one is definitely getting a Great Albums video too. It’s just so out-there and experimental. You really get the feel that it’s underground, counter-cultural even. Which is a weird thing to say about a band that eventually became the most mainstream thing on the planet in the 80s. But just look at that cover! It’s downright disgusting, and would very much ruffle feathers today if you tried to slap that on your album!

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kyu-bri · 4 years ago

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Magia Rapport pt 2

@magiarapport

August 24th prompt: What was your favorite event, and why? Is it because of gameplay or the story?

It’s hard to choose so I’m gonna just, gush a bit.

As you can probably tell I’m very biased toward the OG girls, I started Magia Record primarily because PMMM had become my new obsession and I wanted some sort of constant flow of content out of decade old anime lmao.

But another thing I think I hooked onto was Inu Curry’s writing. They really know Madoka Magica and aren’t afraid to really play with them- something the writers for a spin-off gacha game (as with most spin-off stories honestly) can be scared to do. Inu Curry made references, revealed secrets and built upon the story we already know- which lets be honest is what we always truly want from a spin-off series. Magia Record proper does this well by putting more magical girls into the world and letting us see things work out better for them than for the original cast, but what I really appreciated with this story was getting to see that old original cast get to get in on that, and these events managed to do that without watering them down any.

Under the cut is me going on for 3000 words about why I love these three events I’m so sorry. TL;DR at the very end-

I’ll go in release order,

A La Carte Valentine was one of the first if not THE first event I got in on. I was eager to bc 1 Gay Magical Girl Shit Guaranteed. And ofc 2 OG Cast participation.

I want to preface by saying I actually loved all the girls’ stories in this. I was very much still in a state of getting used to Iroha’s gang let alone trying to care about the secondary girls. I knew Tsukasa had this angsty Twins Separated At Birth Deal and liked seeing her home life (also I immediantly stanned Take. Regular well-meaning dude who has no idea whats going on just trying his best and hating his boss). I knew nothing about Ami except Cowgirl Meguca and getting the bulk of her personality in one short even I think really kept me from being absolutely sick of her, she’s just a cute silly teenage girl who could be in literally anything and I was able to just endearingly giggle at that. Hinano managed to do the heterosexual unrequited crush cliché without me groaning or missing any of her regular personality. Also was there a Ren part? I don’t remember because everything Ren does feels like a Soft Yuri Valentines Special. Also I love Momoko. Ok moving on to what I Really wanna talk about.

Madoka is genuinely my Least Cared About of the Holy Sextet. I don’t think she’s bad or even boring- Madoka has a depth to her character, like, really deep- but that’s not something ever really touched upon by the fandom. Even when people like her and make her the Heroine she’s Supposed to be, it’s usually in the context of “Girl who feels nothing but kindness and happy thoughts would cut off her right hand to feed to a hungry dog. Isn’t she so Good????”. And honestly, while I understand the point it was going to make, I wasn’t crazy about her sacrifice in the end of the series. (Team Homura “Rebellion Is Good Actually” ftw) All because I think that I’m an Adult Woman watching this like “You are 14yrs old and need to be home playing Sims and not sacrificing yourself for the greater good you stupid silly little baby girl”

So my point is here near all fan content I encounter tends to emphasize whats sort of my least favorite facet of Madoka. I don’t think she made the ‘wrong’ decision in the context she and the story were given, but it’s still a sad thing to show a depressed(!!!) insecure girl resolving to give away her very existence so that every other girl on earth has a chance to just Dream. Oh and they still usually die young. But that’s ok because then she takes them and lets them sleep peacefully forever in her Heaven Basement (Yes I am bitter stan Homura I would yank this savior complex infant girl out the sky too)

MY POINT BEING (The servers closing let me BLEED OUT ALL MY FEELINGS) This event did not do that!!! It made Madoka…….. EVERYTHING SHE SHOULD BE??? ALWAYS??? Showed her HOW WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW HER??? (Read: Happy and Alive and Confident at no foreboding or sacrifice of anyone else!!!!)

She is Sassy and Surrounded By Friends and Really Funny??? And we get this Ridiculous Oh My God On Crack metaphor about her being this all-powerful apocalypse bringing being which is representing her love for the universe through her Witch form of Wanting Everyone To Be Happy And Safe With Her??? And she still risks herself to save everyone as is her Thing to do but we get to have her do it without erasing her existence as a human being at the end and if that is not some GOOD SHIT????

Ok next:

NGL Sayaka’s (fav character, inarguable best girl, can u not tell) parts in MagiReco til like the last arc have always left me a bit disappointed. She was the only late comer of the OG girls from what I understand and it kind of gives her the air of what a lot of the second(/thirdary?) girls suffer from. You can tell the writers can’t even figure out a trope to apply her to to make her easy and two dimensional to write about so they just don’t know what to do. They definitely try to make up for it (especially in the anime which Praise Be but that’s probably Inu Currys doing) but she’s still lacking like, any of the depth of her personality. Which, I guess I could anticipate. Because most of the fandom tends to as well. (again)

Gonna stop complaining and get on with- That didn’t feel as much the case in her Valentine event. Sure it was still the same formula of “The Issue Is Kyosuke” but that didn’t play out as grueling as her personal story did with “Nine Episodes Of “The Issue Is Kyosuke””

There was one big glaring heart-aching detail of “Mami isn’t really there because SHES IN A FUCKING CULT RIGHT NOW” which kind of jarred the event out of the ho-hum silly valentines sidestory these events usually keep up.

Sayaka has this crisis about Doing Anything Meaningful With Kyosuke which we all know what That’s calling back to, but in this environment we get to have Kyoko come right up and be in a position with her to earnestly and affectionately Push Her To Do It. The lonely little tsundere bitch girl pushes her Not Friend to Give The Bastard The Gotdamn Chocolate Already and for a moment you can only think about What If’s and If Only’s. Sayaka’s is still the weakest of the threes stories in this event but it worked harder to show us different sides of the characters then 6 chapters of Another Story managed to do.

And then there’s fucking Homura.

I will be, eternally grateful for Kuro. As a character that becomes metaphorical for the 2D ways we initially viewed the feathers and just NPCs in games in general, and also like, giving Homura a friend she actually cares about that isn’t the tangled dark web of Bullshit she’s gotten tied up with Madoka in. Please ask me about all my AU’s where Kuro is Homuras first girlfriend.

Seeing Moemura in Magia Record has always been a bit surreal, we never really understand just what stage of Trauma this Homura is in because Multiverses Are Hell, but this event gives us a good chunk of a Homura who still has hope and faith both in the world and Madoka. Theres this wonder to her that while still bogged down by terrible experiences still has the energy to be Trying. And she sees a girl who used to be like her- which when you think about it is probably what Madoka saw in her- and she wants to help. Because Madoka helped her. And Madoka is the best thing in the universe and maybe Homura can be just a little bit closer to that.

Kuro is too far gone though, as is the reality frequently in this series, things don’t work out just because of circumstance. Kuro was a bullied, insecure little girl who realistically shouldn’t have had to become a rampaging monster because of it. We’re reminded of this being the reality of the Madoka universe. Homura, is reminded of this reality. Homura loses this one chance to bring hope into the world like Madoka brought hope into hers.

And then her story ties into the ending of Madoka’s. Madoka saves her life yet again, even as Homura continues to feel miserable and empty. But at least Madoka is with her. The girls then share a quiet, intimate Valentines together. And you sort of understand how Homura fell so far into the darkness that the only thing she was able to still care about and fight for was Madoka’s safety.

That shit slaps. It slaps you right in the heart and causes fucking bruising but then u want it to do it again because you’re masochistic and Meguca Is Suffering.

Anyway I hope Kuroe slaps our hearts more in season2

MOVING ON!!!!

~Nagisa’s Wish~

Ok, I don’t remember what got me so simp over Nagisa, I think it was the heart-aching irony that Mami adopts the witch that fucking ate her. But that is my baby now and I’d die for her. Fandom Charlotte whose pink and silly and loves her mom and is Mami’s cancer-riddled girlfriend is cool and all but she isn’t a tiny Halloweeny baby whose fucking bitter angry and manically obsessed with cheese due to PTSD.

I had saw a summary of Nagisa’s Wish reposted just to quickly explain Nagisa’s backstory, and as such immediately had to search out if that crazy ride was true- so I actually watched this whole event probably before I downloaded the game. It was surreal on its own but replaying it when it came to NA didn’t lessen it any- I got to process more of what I was witnessing and as result stanned Yu pretty hard.

I guess to explain my Emotions here, saving Yu for later- calls for me to just, describe who Nagisa is as a human being and my headcanons surrounding it all with what this event gave us. Whether you consider it canon or not it’s one version of events that we were given and that I am all for accepting.

Nagisa’s Mom was a celebrity, she could have been an actress though I also like the idea of her being an Idol. She met Nagisa’s Dad oh-so romantically and got knocked up- they very well could have been married but it doesn’t seem clear enough. He seems to have left too suddenly for legal matters like that. Nagisa is approximately 11, and while she seems to remember her Father, she doesn’t in the sense of having had a relationship with him or any feelings. Her Mother has to “explain” why he left, so Nagisa was probably still young even if not a baby. What I’m getting at here is the timeline for when Nagisa’s Mom Got Like That. Nagisa can remember her from before she was, and then says that she got sick after her Dad left. So what I’m wondering is did Daddy Momoe ruin this young rich girls life, give her syphilis and then leave her with a baby she was unfit to care for in poverty? I know half of this is running on anime logic but Holy Shit all the possible ways reasons and ideas for why things could’ve gotten This Bad.

Is it ridiculously dark and edgy that the original story we were given was “Girl wishes her dying mother could have her favorite cake but then realizes OOPSIE-DAISY I could have wished for her to Not Die instead!!!!” got turned into “11yr old hates her abusive mother so much she wants to make her suffer in the most symbolic way she can and then goes mental when she isn’t able to do it”??? Yes. But if I had the mental capacity to I have to admit I was in a position to be just as bitter at that age too. I can’t call it unrealistic. I may infact be projecting hard with how much I support and enjoy this backstory.

Anyway Nagisa was in such a state of trauma and distress at a horrifically young age when she died that it broke her mental faculties so severely that even when she came back as a literal Angel of God she had blocked it out so deeply and thoroughly she seemingly regressed to an even younger capacity and hyperfixated on the trait that she has before used to try to bond with her Mother who she had died hating.

And that also slaps u right in the heart.

A N D T H E N !

~Beachside Bonds~

Just the simple structure of this story was so enjoyable and nicely done. We finally get to see the OG girls in a context we wouldn’t be able to in literally any other scenario. They’re going on a summer vacation together and Homura is sentimentally journaling every single second of it. Is this mayhaps because she’s never gotten to be this happy and blissful with these girls she loves so much??? Of course this is are you not paying attention what the fuck. Homura is so optimistic and healed and hopeful she’s acting like what she might actually be doing as a normal teenage girl. (A heartrending contrast to the end of her Valentines Special)

We get nothing short of pure fluffy Slice Of Life shenanigans on the beach which even includes a bunch of the Kamihama girls that the OG crew knows! And they talk about it! And introduce eachother! And their friends commentate on it! Ren gets to see Kyoko Not Being A Bitch and then Sayaka teases her about having made friends and oh my god my heart is turning into cottoncandy as we speak Mom holy FUCK

Sayaka’s existence fucking matters in this story! It’s her families Hotel they’re staying at and she has relationships and memories with the creepy twins that live there and she talks like a fucking person??? And gives opinions??? That aren’t just copypasted “Justice is Good and Bad things are BAD!!!!”

Mami is fresh out of her fucking Cult Drama and she’s still trying to be cool Senpai but then she DECKS Homura in the face and gets scared by the ghost stories and then turns into pudding and waxes nostalgia at Kyoko out of nowhere IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE’S A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL????????

G H O S T S ? ? ? ?

Y U ! ? ! ? ! ? !

(IS G A Y ! ! ! !)

This whole fucking backstory and truly horrifying Romeo and Juliet on Acid love and death story between Yu and her girlfriend and like if I wasn’t fascinated enough by Yu just being the creepy organ harvester before but apparently thats what she became after she literally made some sort of wish that erased all of her memories besides the nickname her sweetheart used for her and coincidentally also added to her the task of killing all Bad People?????

Yu made a wish to be able to get rid of All Bad People preserving the innocent version of herself who grew up with this girl and it was right after a failed double suicide attempt on fucking Doomed Lovers Cliff fucking Lifetime Will You Ever.

It then pairs with Homura whose PTSD gets to shine through a bit in being unable to believe any bad sort of Madoka which how could you try to force her to at this point while Also pairing Homura with Ren in the “Gay Love Saved Our Lives: Traumatized vers & Vanilla vers”

I don’t remember if there was a symbolic finale and tbh I have forgotten a lot of the details with Yu and her girlfriend Whatsherface because that shit was just so shocking and bizarre to read and much too painful to reread in a timely fashion just.

That shit hurted but it was full of so much love and hope both doomed and stolen but still was wrapped up in the comforting concept that This Is The Universe Where Homura Gets To Be Okay This Time.

She’s still scarred beyond comprehension and this ghost drama accentuated it all but at the end of the day this is still the Safe Universe where all of them are alive and the Holy Quintet are friends and they’re all going to be okay (Godoka & Aniplex willing) and so many of us love Madoka Magica because it shows girls fighting through the same pain we’ve been through and keeping their hope alive and here we get to see them actually find peace in a clunkily written fanservicey spin-off mobile gacha game and hey, that made me happy while I got to experience it. Thanks for the ideas and memories and tragic backstories and funny thirdary characters MagiReco I’m gonna take em all and Run.

Akjsladbfalkjfsbslk If you read this all without getting a migraine or blocking me ily thanks for listening!!!!!!

TL;DR

Me likey A La Carte Valentine bc it’s silly and gay and I simp Kuro

Me likey Nagisa’s Wish bc sawft baby is good and so are Tragic Edgy Backstories

Me likey Beachside Bonds bc Gay Ghosts and Our Girls Finally Get To Be Happy Peaceful(ish) Teenage Girls and that’s all I want for them ;w;

Reeses In Pieces ya’ll

1Ten 2More 3Words 4To 5Hit 6(3000 7Words 8Woo 9Boy 10Howdy

#magia rapport #magia record #pmmm

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pocketfulofrogers · 5 years ago

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Haunted Woman, Broken Lover Part 3

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve Rogers is usually a reasonable, ‘think first man’. Throw someone he cares for into the mix and that goes out the window. Now the world is left wondering what the hell Captain America has gotten himself into now.

Notes: Part 3, no warnings. Idk I’m in the middle of moving and freaking out so have this.

Part 1 Part 2

Masterlist

“I think that’s enough for today.” Steve’s voice isn’t what pulls you from an old memory, it’s his hand cradling yours. The soft warmth of his fingertips pressing into your palm. There’s concern in his eyes, a crease in his brow. He closes the file you had all but forgotten about and sighs. “Would you like to talk about where your head’s really at?”

There’s a joke you’re about to let slip, one that would certainly make him blush, but it feels cheap for the moment. “Do you ever wish things were different?” You find yourself asking instead.

Your question surprises him. “Different how?”

“Do you ever wish you weren’t what you are?”

“Do you?”

You’re quiet for a moment. “Sometimes.” You admit.

“Me too, I guess.” You’re shocked to hear him say. “Sometimes I wish someone else could take over. This isn’t really a life you survive.”

“I always thought of it as the sacrifice we make.”

He gives your hand a squeeze before pulling away. “Maybe.” He’s quiet for a long time, and you think you should just leave it at that. “What if we didn’t have to sacrifice anymore?”

You’re about to question him, ask what exactly that means when he makes an out of place joke, brushes off the whole conversation.

Like him with you, you were trying to figure him out, pull back the layers the suit and name had given him and figure out who Steve Rogers really was.

Perhaps you had dug a little too deep.

Natasha finds you just outside the Trinità dei Monti church with a book you’re definitely not reading in your hands. It’s only for appearances as are the dark, round sunglasses and wig you don. Most of your attention is trained on the entrance of the Hassler Roma, awaiting the arrival of a man who uses his art gallery to hide the funding of terrorist attacks.

Quite cliché if you ask her

Tracking you had been the most eventful months of her year so far. She had tried to follow you through the bodies you left, but was always too late, just a step behind. She spent some time roaming Europe, then South America. Even did a week in Canada.

Then Steve had gone missing. Took an armored car and a duffle and never returned.

A tracker put the car just outside of Richmond in a field in Lorraine. The local SHIELD team reported it was intact, no signs of a struggle, but that only makes them more nervous. They tried to trace his footsteps, but lost track somewhere around Manchester.

Two hours later, Natasha was in Steve’s apartment going through everything she could find. She found a file with the name ‘Arthur Yates’ printed on the front in a locked cabinet hidden in a closet. The note you left smoothed out and paper clipped inside.

Her blood ran cold, fear stiffened her fingers and hung heavy on her shoulders. She cursed herself for not knowing, not guessing that of course Steve Rogers would take it upon himself to clear your name. The love sick fool.

Arthur Yates was a man few knew little about. What she did know came from stories you let slip after one too many drinks. You painted a picture of a powerful and obsessed man furious over the loss of his prized ‘creation’.

One day she tried to ask you more about him and what you had called the ‘Institute’, you shut down, disappeared for a few days.

Steve is the one who found you and brought you back.

She never asked again.

You recognize the soft footsteps behind you and groan. “Don’t tell me my Russian is dead.”

“It was a quick death.” Natasha quips.

“What a shame.” You sigh turning to her. “How’d you find me?”

“Tracked your hack, messy job even for you.”

You shrug your shoulders. “SHIELD had Yuri’s contacts on file.”

“Oh, cut the shit.” She bites.

You wince. “I don’t know where he is, Nat.”

She rolls her eyes. “You gave him coordinates. Did you really think he wouldn’t follow them?”

“They weren’t real! I only put Yates’ name on that stupid letter because I needed him to believe they were.” You pause to collect yourself and start again. “He’s a good man, Natasha. Everything you ever said he was and more. He never would have let me go easy.”

“So instead you left in the middle of the night. Why? Cause you started to get attached? Started to feel something real for once? It’s just a name Y/N! You are not some lifeless-“

“Do not pretend you know anything about me.” You hiss. “People who get close to me don’t just get hurt, they get killed. Yates was in DC. He was closing in. I sent Steve as far from the danger zone as I could.”

“Didn’t seem to work.”

The sudden rush of guilt causes you to look away. “He shouldn’t have been able to find anything credible. Yates covers his tracks better than I do.”

“Well he did.”

“Only because he wanted him too.”

That stops her cold, trickles ice down her spine. The thought of Steve at the mercy of a man like that was not something she had allowed herself to think about. But you? It tormented your nights and was the drive behind your days.

“Where is he.” She bites out, but doesn’t allow your response. “You can’t tell me the ‘all-seeing ghost’ hasn’t heard one thing about where Captain America is.”

You ignore her jab. “Did the Russian have a notebook on him? Would’ve been white with gold etchings, did you see it?” You press. She rolls her eyes again and you know there will be poison behind her next words, you don’t blame her. “Just tell me you know where he was staying, please.”

She tells you of a hotel three blocks east and ignore her when she questions your character, your loyalty. She’s scared, she needs an outlet. That’s why you don’t protest when she declares she’s coming with.

The walk is tense, you try to hold your tongue.

“Where did the name even come from?” Steve asks you.

You’re outside a crowded café in the city. High sun, blue sky, light breeze. It had taken him a solid hour to convince you to go with him. Something about fresh air. He said nothing of your disguise when you came out, not knowing why someone no one knew existed needed one, but worked up one of his own in order to show ‘solidarity’.

A local college shirt and a baseball cap worn low. The effort counted; you guess.

You had pointed out it didn’t do much to hide him, but he seemed convinced that, without the suit, it was all too easy to slip under the radar.

Still, you felt uncomfortable so out in the open. The bustling patrons, loud laughter. So many moving parts kept your eyes darting around behind your dark sunglasses. All it took though, was a single touch from him to pull you back.

This time he nudges your knee under the table with his.

You slip back into the conversation and shrug your shoulders. “Definitely not from me. Honestly, I’m not even that big of a fan of it.” He laughs at your admission.

“If you could choose, what would you go by.”

You take a moment to finish your cup while you think. “No name, just an agent.” He raises a brow. “I’ve always been solo; it’d be nice to be a part of something.”

His smile beams beneath that ridiculous cap and you wave down the waitress for refills.

It’s an easy building to get into. Low security, if any at all and old school locks that only take you seconds to open. You try to make a joke about missing simpler days to lighten the mood, but are only met with silence.

The door squeaks open, a testament to the lack of quality, and inside is… interesting. Gaudy red carpet and over stated gold accents. It’s tasteless and grimy and you dread having to search through his things.

Natasha stands in a corner with her arms crossed, silently seething and you’re about to reach your limit.

You find the notebook tucked under a loose floorboard and begin to flip through the pages, trailing your fingers down the margins.

“Is this really your priority right now? Your next target? Unbelievable. Steve is-“

You ball your fists, tilt your face up and close your eyes, trying to tune out her latest insults. “Do you really think so low of me?” You cut her off, voice low. “I get he’s family and you love him and he’s in danger. Alright, I get it. But if you keep coming at me like this, I’m going to kick you to the curb and go get him by myself.”

Your threat surprises her. “You’ve been tracking Yates?”

“No one can track him, but I can track those around him. Yuri had a meeting with him in Valencia two weeks ago. I almost had them both. They were communicating through a message board, coded of course, was hoping this guy wrote down the cipher.”

“Would he be stupid enough for that?”

You sigh, feeling defeated, but then your eyes catch something. “I thought so, but we’ll just have to settle for his login.” You dangle the book before her and roll your eyes when she comments she could’ve hacked that information.

You’re extremely good at what you do, as is Natasha, but one truth remains evident. Cracking a cipher you have no prior knowledge of because it doesn’t exist outside of one very small group of people, is difficult. The lack of privacy in this internet café doesn’t exactly help either of you.

You’re leaned over her shoulder, reading each post she pulls up. Something she only mentioned was irritating a few times.

Knowing you hadn’t purposefully led Steve into the arms of Satan himself, or that you did intend to save him, had only lessened her hurt a fraction. She still felt as if you had betrayed her somehow. At first, she understood why you had to leave, but you hadn’t returned after the dust had settled and that alone had left her reeling. She had let you in, a rare occurrence for the Black Widow.

An hour later, and perhaps Yuri hadn’t been as dense as you originally thought. Each message left was a different cipher from the last, making establishing a pattern almost impossible. Natasha had scribbled through three pieces of paper before you’re ready to tear your hair out.

Just as you’re about to call it quits, a new message pops up. Natasha groans, but you recognize it. You spent three weeks in a dark room helping develop it so long ago.

It starts with a poor attempt at pleasantries, vaguely detailed threats for taking out a partner, but the last line shakes you to your core.

“Come home before America’s soldier is no longer breathing.”

You keep your face emotionless, but know exactly what it means: trade your life for Steve’s. Give yourself up and submit so that he may have a chance of making it home alive. An exchange you are more than okay with.

The only problem was, Natasha would never allow you to do something as risky as this, something that could very well end in your death. She may be pissed at the moment, but you know with absolute certainty that she would knock you out and lock you in a cell if she had any idea you were even considering this.

So, the question is, how do you shake one of the greatest spies to ever exist?

“Look, we’re not going to figure this out staring at a screen all day. This is too complex for him to have not written it somewhere. Can you still access his body?”

Natasha scrunches her nose. “Yeah.”

“You get his phone and anything else that might be useful, I’ll turn the room and see if I can shake something loose, then we’ll regroup latter.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, selling your frustration. “There’s a printer here, right? This place is making me itch.”

Leaving Natasha with nothing more than a goodbye and an empty promise to see her soon, you flash her a smile, silently thank her for all the small slivers of happiness she had brought to your life. She returns it, mutters a small apology for her assumptions and a part of you aches.

You’re on a plane to North Carolina before she’s able to figure out you’ve tossed your burner and disappeared again, this time without a word.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america imagine #natasha romanoff #marvel #mcu #avengers

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supergenial · 5 years ago

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Cindered Shadows was pretty decent

I recently finished the Cindered Shadows DLC and decided to once again write about my impressions, don't worry though, this one isn't as long as the previous ones. Spoilers: I think this is as good as fire emblem is gonna get for a while.

1) No Agarthans, thank GOD

A story as old as fire emblem: There's an interesting human villain with down to earth motivations or obsessions, but in the large scale of the story they're overshadowed by a supernatural being who wants to destroy the world for no reason other than "they're just evil". This is Edelgard and the Agarthans, Arvis and Manfroy/Loptous, Rudolph and Duma, Ashnard and Ashera, Walhart and Grima... you get it. This shit sucks to put it bluntly. Having these stereotypically evil bad guys who are clearly evil is one of the main things that brings down the plot of any fire emblem game. I'm of the belief that they should kick out these supernatural villains and just leave us against the human villains, the one's with actual ideals and beliefs other than "hurr durr, destroy the world".

And then there’s our villain for this DLC. Now yes, it feels like they recycled a certain professor from the Harry Potter series, but I like that he is "The" bad guy for the DLC, he's not being controlled by anyone. He's obsessed with Byleth's mom and in-game this makes a lot of sense. If Byleth, who is incapable of communication, can drive people crazy for them just by existing then just imagine a Byleth who can actually talk. Her "waifu" charms must be off the charts, so I can't blame this guy for being obsessed. More importantly he's not being controlled by the Agarthans, he's not being played by anyone. He's a man who's lived a righteous life, he took care of a lot of people who all love him but ultimately decided to use them for his own gain and his own obsessions. As far as FE villains go... He's good, honestly, great job Intelligent Systems, I expected a lot less.

2) Reduced avatar wanking

Shots fucking fired

Sure, Byleth's mom is a main focus of the plot, and Byleth is the one who sets the plot in motion, but rarely does it feel like the game is going "gee Player, you're so great, you're our god, we all love you and want to marry you". Byleth still plays a large role sure (unfortunately) but it still feels like this is the story of Yuri and his gang with Byleth being their strategist which is, idk, way better than the idea behind the main game? The one where Byleth turns into a literal god, gets every achievement of the army attributed to them only, has every other conversation remind us how glorious Byleth is, etc.

In fact the dlc goes as far as having Hapi constantly belittle Byleth and even make fun of their communication skills by calling him Chatterbox (good job to the localizers, she doesn’t say this in the japanese audio). Get that teacher’s ass girl, destroy them. (Obviously I would hate this behavior if it was directed to someone else, but in this case I'm willing to make a concession).

3) Yuri's backstory

Ashe: I admire and love this man who is my only parental figure but Rhea said he's kind of bad so I killed him Yuri: Church ordered me to kill a bunch of thieves and delinquents and I refused

You have no idea who much I love the fact that Yuri is someone who protested his orders and got kicked out of the church for refusing to kill civillians. This instantly sends him very high in my rankings. Playing through the first half of the game all I wanted was to stop and say "No, Lady Rhea, fuck you. I don't think it's very cash money for the most powerful military force in the continent to eradicate a lightly armed militia of farmers (with popular support in their locality!)" this is what true imperialism is all about! But there is sadly no option for that.

Just by telling us that Yuri is someone who was punished for saying "No, these orders are inhumane, I refuse to carry them out" that is enough for me, the game is saying "yes, we know, have your compensation price". In the end Yuri is extremely loyal to Rhea which is unfortunate but hey, at least they lampshaded one of the most glaring issues I have with the main game, so that's at least something.

4) "You've obtained all information. Proceed with the story, NOW"

Rather than wasting time forever thinking up which activity I should carry out, abyss is simply a place where you talk to the abyssal denizens to get some plot information or speculation, and boom, you're done. No running around forever, no quests, no doors that take ages to load. You can perfectly skip the abyss parts and at most you'll miss out on Edelgard's conversation with Dimiri (which is fucking hilarious) and a few rusted weapons that can be forged but that's it. Upon talking to every resident of the abyss the game will actually say you’ve acquired all information and will prompt you to go into combat rather than assume you want to dilly dally for a while.

I actually rather like this and would not be opposed to it being the philosophy behind future in-between segments between chapters. I can understand IntSys wanting to load in a ton of features like a sauna and fishing to rack up excitement for the game, I know I was excited for fishing, but when these activities have rewards tied to them, replaying becomes kind of a chore, "aw geez, I have to fish 69 fish to reach professor rank A+ AGAIN" (I actually had to when trying to get the piss screen from clearing maddening). Getting only some conversations and a bit of context for the story, that's... pretty good honestly, I liked this better than the monastery and better than My Castle. Throw in some skits with multiple characters at once and I’m gold

(seriously how come there’s no scenes with the three of the bros, Dimitri, Sylvain and Felix all hanging out together, the fact that a third character never shows up in support conversations is fucking bad)

5) Sometimes less is more

I've extensively complained about three houses already but bear with me. Yet another thing that infuriates me about the game is the extensive amount of work it required. I truly do think that if they had released only the blue lions route and left everything else in the plot as mysterious and unexplained loose ends left entirely up to speculation, that'd be a great game on it's own. Instead I have to see all the hard work that went into making the other routes only so that, in the end, they just had me going "well it was ok I guess". Every scene in the game requires work, many hours of coding, writing, voice acting, sound editing, making sure the models don't look too messed up, bug testing, etc. The amount of work that went into three houses was brutal regardless of what you think of the final product, yet a lot of people didn't even bother playing through all of that. So yes, I honestly wanted less, give me a more concise game rather than spreading too wide and ending up thin.

Cindered Shadows on the other hand is concise to a fault to make up for that. The story is pretty straightforward and leaves no loose ends to itself, there's no anime cutscenes, no supports (within abyss, you can support them all in the main game). There's even that very awkward sacrifice scene where some characters are having their life and blood drained from them yet the visual representation we see is just them standing around like normal, with Yuri even doing that hand pose he does all the time instead of squirming in pain or something. It's very awkward looking, objectively not good, but it gets the point across and doesn't make me go "wow you put in all this effort for nothing" because the whole thing is also fairly short (5 to 10 hours in hard mode).

I know, it sounds like I'm shitting on the dlc, but the point is I'd much rather get something short that leaves me satisfied than something like the main game that makes me go "this could've been so hecking gooood if they changed X" for the rest of my life.

6) The gameplay

Chapter 4 is my favorite mission in the whole game

They made Hard Mode good. I previously said maddening was the one difficulty where this game made sense, but this one achieves perfection with just hard mode. This is because the team actually knows what you have. In the main game there's all sorts of variables to account for due to the large amount of player expression that is possible, you can reclass anyone into anything and throughout many lucky or unlucky level ups, maps can be entirely different based on that rng and choices. Here though, your characters already have solid bases starting at lvl 20, and you can't reclass too much so the devs know exactly what you're working with and can plan accordingly. Beating the maps feels incredibly satisfying not just because the objectives have more variety now, but also because you feel like you found the right way to use the tools you were given. This is why the first few chapters of any fire emblem game often feel so good, because the devs know exactly what you have.

Not that I think player expression is bad! It's very satisfying to warp skip chapters and to use broken units like battalion vantage+wrath Dimitri as these things make you feel like you've truly subjugated the game, but it takes some time for those things to really take off. There's a time to reap and a time to sow, and the sowing time can get pretty dull sometimes but that's what makes the payoff feel worth it. Still, for a short experience like cindered shadows is, this style just fits perfectly, plus chapter 4 has quickly become one of my favorite chapters in the whole game, along with chapter 6.

7) In The End

Idk folks, I just like it. If you just want more adventures with the three lords, this is it.

If you’re looking for any excuses to avoid this I'd say the better ones are: maps are reused from the main game (they work much better here though), it's 10 hours at most so it's price-to-cash ratio isn't very good with the expansion pass being $30, and also the Abysskeeper feels a bit TOO winkwink nudgenudge to me, especially since Gatekeeper was popular enough to make it into Super Smash Brothers. Like yeah bro, we get it, we all love Gatekeeper, you didn't have to do this.

I also like that they finally gave Dimitri a semi-problematic quote where he says he kinda likes the idea of poor people living underground out of sight, I think it’s a very rich-white-boy flaw to have and not entirely awful given his life experience up to that point. And yes I do think he has no flaws and is entirely unproblematic in the main game, “feral” as he may look it doesn’t seem like he goes around killing civilians or doing anything other than busting up imperial troops which is kind of justified since they started the invasion, on top that he’s the strongest unit in the game and the most chill and honest ruler once he calms down, so little dent in his record that’s irrelevant in the large picture is indeed welcome.

Overall though, after being so massively disappointed by the Fates DLC, so much I didn't even bother with the ones for Echoes, I certainly like what I'm seeing here and that's a good sign, bravo Intsys.

#fire emblem #cindered shadows #spoilers #review #deep analysis

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toonstarterz · 5 years ago

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BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #163

Ah, summer. The season of no school, bright skies, pools, barbeques, and brief teenage romance.

Okay, so it’s not quite summer vacation yet. But nonetheless, the new season gives way for all sorts of fun shenanigans. None of it ever really enters “drama” territory (as dramatic as this series can be, that is), but as Tomoko’s last year of high school nears the halfway point, we discover that there’s still quite a bit we don’t know about our cast of knuckleheads.

Chapter 163: Because I’m Not Popular, It’s Summer

I think it can be inferred that Tomoko is not a morning person, is she?

I think it can also be inferred that the once-aspiring NEET Tomoko is not a fan of hot weather. Better soak up that Vitamin D, girl.

Parasol Lady Asuka would like to battle!

Are parasols more prominent in Eastern culture? They’re not too terribly common where I’m from, but I imagine that may be a result of Japan having more of an aversion towards anything that would result in darker skin. Though I can also see it as a sort of fashion opportunity as well.

I believe those were umbrellas you used, Tomoko. But semantics aside, It’s pretty neat to see that Tomoko has finally reached that stage in her life where she can recognize her cringy chuunibyou phase. Long live those days of failing miserably at being a cool anime character.

Remember when Tomoko used to slut-shame the girls in her class? I detect a hint of hypocrisy there...

Gyaru!Asuka has already exploded on the imageboards, I guarantee it.

A part of me wonders why Tomoko grouped Kii-chan and Yuri specifically. They don’t have similar personalities or anything, but I see two possible reasons for it. One, Kii-chan and Yuri both got that mild-mannered, “exotic” look going on. But also, it may who Tomoko subconsciously believes she’ll see the most of over the summer.

We’ll, I mean...yeah. They would. It probably doesn’t help that Tomoko, with her lion’s mane, gives the impression of someone too physically active to care much about grooming. But as much as Tomoko derides the possibility of looking like a “sweaty day laborer”, I can’t deny that it’s not a bad look on her.

The reason for that should be dead obvious by now.

The thing that amuses me is that Tomoko had no basis to start insinuating that Yuri’s a pervert. She just did, and has latched on to the idea ever since. While no doubt annoying for Yuri (even if it’s true), it’s kind of sweet if you see it as Tomoko wanting to have a shared interest with her.

I’m sure that compared to your freckled, “crazy lesbo” best friend, it isn’t.

It’s funny how Nemo used to give off an air of someone who’s sexually acknowledgeable (at least to me) by virtue of being semi-popular. Now that we know’s she’s relatively pure, Tomoko will never let her live it down.

Komiyama really is the most two-dimensional character in the series. And you know what?

It works.

In the education industry, we call it the “Perv Curve”.

Komiyama: Self-explanatory.

Hatsushiba: Anatomically-correct BDSM art must have originated from somewhere.

Katou: Yet even more evidence for the almost-openly perverted girl who casually says “vagina”.

Mako: ...wait, what?

I’m so used to perfect scores being a badge of honor in Japanese media that it through me for a loop to see it suggested as anything else. Perhaps it’s an issue similar to Home Ec in that it’s not seen as educationally significant and only those really invested in the subject would master it. Either way, how lewd.

Going back to Mako, I am genuinely shocked. Could Yuri’s oh-so-sweet bestie actually have a dirty side? Just when you think you know a gal! Naturally, she has just enough to shame to be embarrassed when its brought up, and I’m not ready to call out Mako as a pervert just yet. At least she has Yoshida to pat her on the back (ironic given the delinquent is now officially the purest one of the Kyoto Group).

My Pokémon-obsessed mind can only see them as the Haramaku Elite Four, which, given the segment’s title, is highly unoriginal of me.

I’m 97% sure that Kawagoe’s that old geezer teacher we saw during Tomoko’s suspension. We even got that “strict about textbooks” continuity from way back when Tomoko forgot hers.

All signs point to Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 recognizing someone, most likely Yuri, during this little intersection. Curse you, Nico Tanigawa and your wonderful vagueness.

Nope. It’s not gonna work. Nuh-uh. Absolutely not. You aren’t going to make me feel sympathetic for Minami.

...

drat.

All that speculation has finally paid off cause we now have confirmation that Minami did(does?) in fact backbite Tomoko and Yuri. Thank goodness for Tomoko’s mental health that she never knew. But Minami’s got some nerve teasing Yuri when she’s actively Mako’s friend. Even more disturbing if Mako doesn’t realize it...

Between that tiny smile in the last panel and her wanting to tease, it’s pretty much certain that Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 is not a pleasant person.

Birds of the same feather truly do flock together.

Okay, I cracked. Minami’s too adorable (and pitiful) right here.

I find it telling that even Minami’s “friends” know she’s a jerk. But if what goes around comes around, then Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 might not realize she’s a jerk, too. Are most terrible people aware of their own terribleness?

I don’t want to correlate jerkiness with irresponsibility but...here we are.

Man, that’s playing dirty. Suzuki is more than likely not that close to Minami, but any decent person wouldn’t just outright say “no” to a request like that. Of course, playing up her own supposed likeability through other’s basic kindness is Minami’s M.O.

In manga and anime, that sort of haughtiness from cute, snaggletoothed girls is adorable in that “sigh, there she goes again” way.

In reality, it’s just annoying as shit.

At first glance, Kayo’s just making an off-handed question, but my nit-picking mind says otherwise. I’m not sure how insistently heterosexual/romantic Japanese culture is towards male-female relationships, but would most teens show interest in a friend’s opposite gendered sibling? If say, Miyazaki had a little brother, would Kayo even ask Ucchi a question like that?

My theory is that Kayo is subtly trying to ascertain Ucchi’s sexuality. If the idea of Ucchi being gay for Tomoko is already planted in her head, then Kayo is using Tomoki as a “male version” for comparison. Ucchi’s already admitted to the Kuroki siblings being physically similar, so supposedly if she feels nothing towards Tomoki, then it’s Tomoko’s “femaleness” that attracts her.

This wouldn’t even be half as funny if Ucchi didn’t have an emoji face.

If only Komiyama could see this now...

Or, you know what? Maybe gender is irrelevant and Ucchi just has an indiscriminate gross fetish.

Nemo’s ultra-realistic thoughts behind her cheery demeanor are always welcome.

For all those times that Tomoko pokes fun at Nemo for wanting to live out a slice-of-life school anime, she’s not exactly innocent either. More and more we see Tomoko trying to invoke those cliche moments, usually with little fear. It’s a rather far cry from when she’d try to pull anime tropes as a means to an end. Now she tries them out just for the sake of having fun, which is much more endearing.

In this particular trope, however, normally you’d have a guy and girl stuck inside, where they’d ultimately become more attracted to each other through the suspension bridge effect.

Of course, that’s assuming the boy and girl aren’t already together. If they are, then storage rooms are usually used as a hiding place to make out, but that obviously would never hap–

Oh.

FUCK.

If memory serves, this is the same couple who were flirting(?) back in the head patting chapter. A whole lot must of went down since then, eh?

Murphy’s Law.

It’s been quite a long time since we’ve had one of Tomoko’s infamous freakouts. And they say this series lost its roots.

A part of me wants to think that Nemo hears Tomoko but is pretending not to just to screw with her, but I don’t think she’d be that cruel. Even if it would be hilarious.

Just how far is your “it”, Tomoko. Making out? Groping? HANDHOLDING!?

What am I saying–she’s totally thinking sex.

It’s interesting to note that Tomoko just assumes that Yuri and Mako have never had a boyfriend. Sure, it may be implied given we’ve never seen them have this discussion before (that we know of), but it’s still pretty presumptuous on Tomoko’s part. My only reasoning is that Tomoko is trying to ally themselves over supposed “undesirability” like many self-deprecating friends do.

First off, I am not at all surprised given Mako’s personality.

What does surprise me is how totally betrayed Mako sounds. I can only assume that it’s a part of Mako’s past that she’d rather not reveal. While I don’t think Yuri meant any harm bringing it up, that kind of miscommunication goes to show that even though they’re best friends, Yuri and Mako don’t always see eye to eye.

Sounds like dating to me. Or rather, sounds like dating between high schoolers. At the risk of sounding like an old-ass millennial, dating between high schoolers rarely last, despite what shoujo manga suggests. Casual dating is exactly that–casual. They’re attracted to the novelty of dating, but once that initial thrill wears off, cue the breakup.

Side note, I just realized that Yuri loosens up her tie. I love small details like that.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but Mako seems to be suggesting that girls, on the other hand, aren’t as desperate to get boyfriends. While that isn’t necessarily true, I do see that answer as mostly a convenient excuse for Mako, who may simply just not want to be in a relationship right now.

I can see the “Mako is straight/Mako is lesbian(for Yoshida)” War right now...

Boy, it’s been a while since Tomoko has contemplated her own popularity, let alone try to be more popular. I guess it goes to show that even though Tomoko is more or less satisfied with her current status, she still sees herself below the bar of what constitutes “popular”. She does perpetuate feminine “purity” as an indicator of her societal value, but I’ll let it be–reality is not so kind, after all.

One of the more prominent questions that Yuri’s fanboys have is “How come someone as pretty as Yuri isn’t more popular with the boys?”

Well, there you go.

In terms of looks, I never thought Yuri was that unattractive in-universe. She’s in that small niche of “plain and generic, but just cute enough that fans feel they could feasibly ask out a girl like her in real life”. So while it's reasonable to think that at least one person would show interest in her, it's Yuri’s personality that ends up putting them off. She probably isn’t ready to commit to the effort of dating and being someone’s girlfriend. nor does Yuri seem that interested to begin with if her texting habits are anything to go by.

I can’t for the life of me remember the name for it, but I believe that there’s this belief in Japan that says everybody (mostly boys) has that brief period in their life where they’re suddenly attractive and people want to date them. I imagine that Tomoko may actually reach that time in life sooner than she thinks.

PTSD TRIGGERED!! For the readers, I mean.

For real, though. What a comeback. Who would have thought that Kosaka, that guy who was introduced in Chapter FIVE would make his grand return? Normally, making a reappearance this late in the game would feel like an asspull, but it works because he was never meant to drastically affect Tomoko’s growth. He was just the spark, the first hint to show that people could actually befriend her. And for that, we salute you, Umbrella Dude.

It’s been, what? About two years since they last spoke, and he still remembers her? Impressive! Then again, I don’t think you're about to forget the girl who gave you a dogeza.

Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Tell Lies.

These moments where Tomoko is unabashedly a blushing schoolgirl are really precious because she isn’t “perfectly ditzy in that moe sort of way” about it. She gets riled up, sweaty, and unpleasant to watch. Which, ironically, is even more adorable just for how genuine it is.

Yeah, I’m sure the original said “dogeza”, but since there isn’t really a good English equivalent for it, I think “genuflect”...is still an odd choice.

Yuri, who always has her “Tomoko’s BS” meter on high, knows that Tomoko is screwing around when she calls it her “first”. Poor Mako, a now confirmed pervert who still thinks Tomoko is so amazing, thought the girl had popped the guy’s cherry.

Friendly reminder that eventful summers are not necessarily pleasant summers. Though they could be with the right perspective...

So...Yuri vs. Kii-chan Death Battle when?

The most beautiful part about this ending is that there’s no second-guessing. No “maybe I won’t be lonely” or “I wonder if I’ll be lonely”. Just a very affirmative “I won’t be lonely”. Tomoko fully expects that she’ll be spending time with her friends this summer, and that confidence is more than I ever would’ve expected from Tomoko in previous years.

With summer vacation just over the horizon (don’t want to jump the gun), a medley of both happy, unhappy and delightfully awkward moments are sure to transpire. Just about the only thing Tomoko can plan is the unplanned, and I’ll be sure to get a front-row seat to watch it all.

#watamote #watamote review #chapter 163 #no matter how i look at it it's you guys' fault i'm not popular!#tomoko kuroki #asuka katou #yuri tamura #hina nemoto #mako tanaka #kotomi komiyama #hatsushiba #masaki yoshida #koharu minami #emiri uchi #tomoki kuroki #kosaka #I finally get to use that tag #review

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x0401x · 6 years ago

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If you didn't read the last chapter of Tsurune don't read the ask: OMG! I almost get killed in this "Masa-san lightly pinched Minato’s cheeks and pulled them" and in the car scene.I laughed so hard on minato he's really didn't think about hiding his feeling lol. what do you think about the chapter?

Took me almost two full days to reply to this, and if that doesn’t speak volumes about how wild this chapter was, then I don’t know what would.

I’d read spoilers of volume 2 right after it came out so I already knew what was gonna go down, and being very honest, the cheek pinching was something I’d actually expected to see at some point after reading the summaries of volume 1. And rather than wishing for it, I was waiting for it because it seemed so obvious to me that this was gonna happen one way or another. I mean, it’s just so much like Masaki to do something of that sort, lmao. But I admit I expected it to happen in a daily-situation scene and not… like this. As always, Ayano surpassed my expectations on the unapologetically huge amounts of gay.

I’ve mentioned this topic in my post about the differences between the novel and the anime. Minato may keep a lot of secrets from everyone, yet Masaki has been the sole exception to this ever since they met. I mean, look at volume 1. It’s basically Minato hiding nearly every important thing from literally everybody except his conveniently-there-by-narrative-default master. Volume 2′s chapter 3 is basically a massive meme based off this plot device, like:Shuu: *touches Masaki*Minato: Sir, that’s my emotional support coach.Anyway, my point is that Minato doesn’t hide anything from Masaki, ever. Not even the most embarrassing shit.

The chapter was very interesting. It was rather entretaining to see how inept Eisuke actually is regarding himself. The novel often references Amanojaku, so I was wondering if we’d ever get an Amanojaku-ish character, and sure enough, here he is.

Other than that, good God. Minato is such a fucking embarrassment. I adore this walking fivehead so much. Had to put the extent of my love for him and this chapter under a cut because it’s probably the lenghtiest ask response I’ve ever written.

I think I can’t even pinpoint what the best thing about this chapter was. Like, the details are very subtly placed in all the right spots as always, and this is probably what leaves the bigger impressions on me. And by “details” I mean the subtext and symbolisms.

For starters, Ayano knows very well how to fuck with plant language nerds. She’s used a lot of it with Masaki and Minato, and it feels like the bar just keeps going up. First it was oaks (strength and knowledge), then bamboo (inspiration), then azaleas (developing passion), and now it’s freaking bellflowers. What’s more: the ones that Minato stopped by were spotted bellflowers. They’re known for their heart-shaped foliage. In flower language, bellflowers stand for gratitude and unwavering love. And sure enough, Minato doesn’t waver at all before going into that bakery and buying a batch of cinnamon buns (did it really have to be that of all things, omg) for Masaki, specifically.

I can’t stress how wholly, completely, utterly unnecessary that was. There’s no heterosexual explanation to it. I mean, there’s no heterosexual explanation to a lot of things about these two, but the romantic connotation was really heavy on this one. You have to use a fucking magnifier to find the platonic in this bullshit, and it’s still hella hard to ignore the implications. It’s even harder when Minato is berating himself for buying the buns on impulse when he heard that they go well with coffee and thinking about how irritated he feels when Shuu is around Masaki. He doesn’t even try to pretend that he’s not jealous. Be more like any other oblivious sports anime protagonist and let me die in peace, for fuck’s sake.

I’m just trying to pretend that I don’t know cinnamon is associated with romantic love and often used to inflame passion, because that’s too fucking much.

On other news, I’m highly pleased that we get SeiKai hints even when Seiya and Kaito don’t show up together. Kaito mentioning Seiya’s name every two or three sentences and approaching Minato simply because he saw Kuma and thought that maybe Seiya was there was gold, tbh. It was a good break before the mattress fire that happens right after.

The way Minato found out that Masaki meant well and didn’t want him to become like he was in the past was just so priceless. Take this shit straight to the face, son. Get fucking wrecked by how much he cares about you.

It’s also really freaking hilarious to me how everything that concerns Minato’s relationship with Masaki involves shoujo manga tropes. Envious of your rightful rival being too long around your master? Check. Learning the hard way that it was all for your sake? Check. Getting frustrated and shouting like a bitch at the irony of it? Check.

Minato is Minato, though, so of course he acknowledges that he wants Masaki by his side in spite of this. Did he have to do that while lying in bed, though? I think the fuck not.

And cue Masaki texting him immediately while he’s doing that, because Masaki always shows up when he wants to see him, and because this has turned into a romantic comedy, apparently? Love me that age-old cliché where the main character goes to the window after getting a message and finds the person who’d been occupying their thoughts standing there by sheer unadulterated coincidence, and they fucking heard you, you little shit.

This comes in a set with the “first visit and you’re already inviting him to his room” trope because why not follow all the way down with the romcom narration structure since we’re already at it? Double entendrees every three phrases or so because go big or go home.

“Dad isn’t home yet, so should we go upstairs?”

Yeah, lmao, that’s what about every shoujo heroine says before getting lectured on how they “shouldn’t make that sort of invitation to a guy”.

“It feels great. Thank you, Masa-san.”

It doesn’t feel so great not being able to overlook this, Ayano.

“Well, I may not look it, but I am your master after all.”

SHUT THE FUCK UP, JESUS CHRIST.

Seriously, this shit only loses to Fifty Shades of Takehaya and his more than unasked-for lines about “punishing” and “thoroughly training” Kaito. Sure, none of this is on the level of dirty jokes, but the subtleties are still too many.

The fluff is what gets you good, though. Because that was fluff right there. No, it doesn’t classify as hurt/comfort. These bastards fluffy. I just wanna know who managed to stay upright after reading about Minato feeling his heart ache because it had been too long since the last time he’d seen Masaki smile at him, ‘cause I sure as fuck didn’t.

No time is wasted before they off their asses to the place where they first met, which is basically a world of their own at nighttime (it’s named Yata Shrine for a reason; fuck that reason). And of course there had to be your usual load of elusive language in the middle, where the destination is pitch-dark but the road there is all wildlife and stars and this sparkly wave of light at the end of the tunnel. Welcome to the land of bitch, this isn’t a shoujo, stop acting like one.

Or don’t. We’re indulging. Screaming internally the entire time, but still indulging.

The dialogue is so obviously crafted to seem like something else that it’s useless to pretend it wasn’t inentional. I already knew what was coming but reading about the whole thing was an experience.

“I’m happy that you became my coach at Kazemai but I’m also not, because I don’t get to keep you for myself.”

Did he have to say it like that? Abso-fucking-lutely not. But he did anyway, because since when does Narumiya Minato give a flying fuck about ambiguity versus precision?

Six kinds of gay here. And all of them confirm that Minato’s “mixed feelings” when seeing Kaito being so familiar with Masaki from the get-go were, in fact, pure jealousy. It’s not even envy, because that’s wanting something someone has and you don’t. Minato was even closer to Masaki than Kaito was at that point, so it was all just his Masaki-exclusive greed speaking, plain and simple.

This is what gets me about this scene, tbh. It’s so much like Minato to say that, but it’s so alien to read it in a shounen novel. I don’t recall seeing anything so direct and raw in any sports franchise aside from Yuri on Ice. The most we get is “I wanna do [insert sport here] with you”. But this case is a blatant “we’d be doing the thing we like together one way or another and I’d have preferred if no one else were involved”.

And this comes right before we get a reminder that Minato doesn’t like it when Masaki treats him as a child, again. That’s… something. I hate this something a lot.

Also, it feels like the two of them are having completely different conversations with each other. Masaki is talking about his struggle coaching Minato and pointing out the crap he has to deal with in having a student whose last words are probably gonna be something stupid like “oops” or “oh, shit”, and Minato is countering with apparently completely unrelated arguments.

“But didn’t you let Shuu touch your belly, Masa-san?”

The fuck does that have to do with anything? How is that of any relevance to the conversation? What is this gay nonsense?

“If anyone else heard only that, I’d sound like a pervert, wouldn’t I? Did you want to touch it too, Minato?”

JUST DISMISS IT, YOU MOTHERFUCKER. DON’T ENCOURAGE HIS FOLLY. LET IT DIE.

“I’m no pervert, so I’m good.”

And now the moment of crushing honesty is over. Time for lies and derision because we all saw earlier in this chapter that (I can’t believe I’m actually writing this) Minato did, in fact, want to touch Masaki. Boy just called himself a pervert, indirectly. Gotta congratulate him for playing himself for, like, the hundredth time, I guess.

Of course Masaki would get emo in this scene sooner or later, because the fact that he’s dealing with the most reckless character out of the cast is apparently not a pertinent reason for things to have ended up the way they did. And of course Minato was gonna do something about it. It’s almost obligatory by now that they lift each other up.

WHY LIKE THIS, THOUGH?

Like, there’s just too much here that doesn’t translate into a master-student thing. Okay, I can totally see that in the dialogue but the actions are screaming something else entirely. Obviously, as I always say, I’m not gonna label it as romantic. What I’m talking about is: this isn’t the behavior of someone interacting with a teacher, but of a person with another. I mean, no matter how you look at it, there would have been a lot to consider here regarding the minimum of restraint that one should have around their mentor or at least around their elders, but Minato is basically saying “fuck you” to all of this.

Yeah, sure, go reach out to grab his hand and gently brush his bangs off his eyes simply because you can’t help the urge to look into them. No big deal. It’s just the affection of a disciple. Anyone else would have done the exact same.

I JUST WANNA TALK, AYANO. I JUST WANNA TALK.

Not trying to stereotype or devalue the worth of teacher-student relationships. Just back to my previous point: you don’t do this shit to a teacher, realistically speaking. And even if anyone hypothetically had any gall to do that, neither the teacher nor any onlooker would disconsider it an advance. Anybody would find it a little bit out of place at the very, very least.

Also, that declaration? Literally Minato swearing he would have Masaki be the one teaching him for the rest of his life? This after having said similar bullshit like claiming that he would never let Masaki go or that he’d follow Masaki to the grave. The bar just keeps going up. So, in short, “you don’t have to be my master but I’ll be damned if you’re not my master forever”.

Ayano, you’re murdering us. You’re murdering your readers.

“I feel more relaxed when I talk to you, Masa-san.”

No news here but thank you for saying it anyway. There had to be icing on this cake. And the cherry on top was Masaki’s explanation about the word “talking”. Are you telling us that these idiots hand their hearts over to each other every time they open up like this, Ayano? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING SAYING, AYANO?

Love me all of Minato’s non-existent heterosexuality being killed with fire.

I imagine that Minato must have made the cutest face when seeing Fuu again. Fuu, the owl with a heart-shaped face, showing up at the most convenient time. Because heart-shaped leaves weren’t enough, apparently.

The end of this chapter made me feel a tiny bit bad for Shuu, though, because it was one more instance of something that he and Minato and no one else had in common that got overwritten and outshone. It’s definitely a parallel to when they were little kids learning under Saionji and hiding it from everyone until a certain point, yelling at the top of their lungs and being competitive while taking things seriously to an extent. Here, we have Minato and Masaki in perfect sync, reproducing the exact same thing that Shuu and Minato had learned so many years ago but with experient successfulness and also complete harmony. And this time, it’s 100% their secret only, taking place at night without the knowledge of anybody, with no audience, no parents and no teacher.

It’s… too much, lmao. In every sense. Shuu literally stands no fucking chance next to Masaki and I love it. *broadcast lady voice* Fujiwara Shuu. Repeating; Fujiwara Shuu. Your wife Senichi is waiting for you at Kirisaki High.

And of course, the chapter had to be closed with a finishing blow. God fucking dammit. Minato packing coffee to share with Masaki would have been enough, but nay, Masaki also had to bring the fucking oyaki. From the fact that they’ve had oyaki together before at the shrine and that these oyaki are from the bakery where Minato had bought the cinnamon rolls without a second thought, it’s sort of really obvious that Masaki bought them to eat together with him.

I didn’t ask for any of this and now I need to lie the fuck down.

#tsurune #tsurune kazemai koukou kyuudoubu #takigawa masaki #narumiya minato #sfw

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eyecicles · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on canon vs fandom treatment of female characters? Like the source material not having much in the way of female characters in general (at least relatively in the sense that I can count significant/developed female characters on one hand compared to the much larger number of important male characters) and how that translates into fandom treatment of female characters (misa and kiyomi being treated like shit in fanfics, ect). Sorry this is vague I just like your spicy opinions lmao

That’s a very interesting question! …Also a topic I’m very careful with but I do have some thoughts I would like to share nonetheless.

I completely agree that it’s quite obvious that Ohba cares more about the development of his male characters, about making them more unique in their motivations. Large parts of Death Note are about Light manipulating people (not about being accidentally successful and smart because of his ~magical powers~, that’s such an annoying take, honestly). And when you look at how he treats female characters, starting with Yuri, later Naomi, then Misa, Rem and Kiyomi, it becomes pretty clear that both he and Ohba always use the same tactic. Yes, because while writing a sexist character doesn’t make you or your story sexist per se, it’s just the sad truth that Ohba wrote it that way for a reason. (From what I’ve heard about his other works, DN is comparatively mild in the sexism department though)

If you compare that to the much more complex ways Light manipulates male characters, you can see very easily how they’re more developed by default. Not only has Light a much harder time with them, he evades characters like L and Near or even Aizawa, who isn’t a certified genius, by, well, not getting caught until the end.

Actually, I think it’s pretty interesting how characters deal with the fact that Light is Kira. The only female character who figures out his identity on her own is Misa, and she mostly manages that due to her special powers (the Shinigami eyes). Of course Misa is never praised for that and she’s routinely portrayed as dumb, while most of her character is about her obsession with Light… which only poses a problem for a few chapters.

Very popular fanon but fanon nonetheless: Naomi figuring out Light is Kira. She didn’t; Light told her himself and she’s in fact more than a little shocked by it, and of course, already doomed when she finds out the truth.

Kiyomi is told as well, and she’s a Kira supporter anyway, in love with Light, and relatively easy to manipulate - even though we see her struggling with being ordered to kill people. What’s apparently more of a problem is her questioning Light about Misa, but really, he’s mostly just annoyed and her jealously is something the narrative actively makes fun of (confirmed by Ohba himself).

And I agree that that’s mostly why the fandom finds it so easy to reduce especially Misa and Kiyomi to romance- or sex-obsessed dumbasses who are basically only there to be annoying. I wouldn’t defend that kind of treatment ever, but yes, it’s obvious where it comes from.

It’s more mild with Naomi, and Rem might be the only female character whose motivation is her love for another female character, but most of the main female characters have one thing in common: their character arcs being about love. Compare that to main male characters, and you can tell that the narrative treats love and romance as a “woman thing”. (Even Matsuda, who does show interest in romance, gets a surprisingly interesting and even touching arc. His character is mostly about being painfully average (painfully is the keyword here: the narrative shows much less pity for our average women, actually; they aren’t necessarily average, just not as much as smart as Light which is treated as given), about seeking recognition, about being bitterly disappointed by the person he trusted (Light) and his final moments with Light are ridiculously intense and well-written.)

(Soichiro isn’t motivated by personal love per se, but his “blindness” for who Light really is treated as something tragic and relatable. Soichiro dies, yes, but he’s seen almost as a hero for his strong morals and love for his son. Not comparable to Misa and Kiyomi at all.)

I indeed can’t count the fics where female characters only made an appearance to show the reader how much dumber, or even more evil, they are compared to Light’s love interest (which is usually L or a female OC). And while I don’t see Misa as just a victim of Light, it’s disgusting how people take what those characters are mainly about and make it (+ their personalities) worse than they were in canon. Instead of, you know, giving them more agency. It’s fanfiction, guys, they don’t have to be an obstacle for your ships if you don’t want to. Considering that Light shows no real interest in them either way, I find it even more arbitrary to write them that way.

Even though I’m used to see that kind of treatment, since I’ve been in fandoms for almost 15 years, it still shocks me how nasty and spiteful people can be about characters like Misa and Kiyomi. I rarely see male characters treated like that in fanfics, even when the general fandom opinion about them is a negative one. (The exceptions are unlikeable, ugly, comic relief kind of antagonists like Demegawa)

The fandom can be wildly different depending on where you look; on websites like YouTube or Reddit, it’s definitely more difficult to find people who like them, or people who at least try to see past that one trope the fandom likes to reduce them to. I’ve seen people making fun of their deaths or writing their own gruesome deaths for them, I’ve seen people praising Light to no end while hating Misa for being a serial killer.

While on tumblr, I often see the exact opposite of that. I wouldn’t say it’s just as bad, obviously not, but it’s still worth discussing, I think. It makes a lot of sense to try and make characters like Misa, Kiyomi, Naomi, Sayu, or Rem more intriguing and complex. I absolutely love what “Those” did to Kiyomi for example; it shows very clearly what we could have had with a better (or at least less sexist) writer than Ohba.

But if I’m being completely honest, what I’m not a fan of, is people completely taking everything about a character to make them something they’re 100% not. It’s one thing to make someone more complex, but something quite different to make Misa a feminist and mere victim who only pretended to like Light. I guess that’s partly a personal preference, but something about making a female character just a victim, when they’re canonically not, is a bit… icky to me. I think we can treat Misa with more compassion than Ohba did without making her a mere victim.

And some goes for Naomi; her indeed being tricked by Light, her being naive, yes, even in “Another Note”, doesn’t make her less sympathetic or cool. It often feels like we want to put female characters on a pedestal just so we can allow ourselves to stan them just as much as the male main characters.

I can’t see why Light is allowed to be a complex serial killer you can love or hate, while Misa isn’t. It’s telling how even people who like Misa often seem to feel the need to make her an angel, while Light fans often find it more easy to accept that he’s a bastard indeed. (There are Light apologists as well, but they at least rarely try to reduce him to nothing more than a puppet who got screwed over big time)

Even when female characters are very well-written and developed, like Discworld characters, the fandom often scrutinises them way more harshly than the male ones. But yeah, having a distinct difference in the writing of male vs female characters in a story… definitely makes the fandom react in more extreme ways.

I would actually love to read more Misa, Naomi and Kiyomi centric stories where they’re allowed to keep their flaws while getting the development Ohba never gave them. And your ask reminded me that I can, want and should write stories like that too, haha.

#answered #anon #death note #misa amane #kiyomi takada #naomi misora #rem #meta

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skyhopedango · 6 years ago

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I watched the last episode as a sort of Christmas present, and AAHHHH THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN ❤ A gift that could have been only more perfect if Doug & Kirill actually kissed* and/or there was a second season announced. But seriously, please do a second season! Please! I’ll buy everything! (which reminds me, I’ve got to get the manga) I just love this stupid show and these two idiots and the rest of Seven-0 too much to let go!

So the whole thing was a ruse, except for the parts that weren’t except they were (Doug, you’re such a troll :D) and the villain is defeated and Yuri is back because of course she is, and we still don’t know why Kirill’s landlady is such a badass, but anyway, even Stan Lee Random Old Dude is back and things are back to normal and there’s HAPPY END FOR ALL. ❤

Random points of interest:

The whole A part. It’s all one huge cliché after another, except as it turns out that’s exactly the point, and holy crap, let’s all have a moment of silence for the fourth wall that’s been wholly and thoroughly demolished. :DDD

Seriously, just Kirill’s monologue as he’s escaping with Doug. It’s just everything. I’m fairly certain it wasn’t self-destruction that blew up the building, it was simply that it couldn’t take all the fourth wall breaking they’d been doing.

Also Doug’s entire plan was basically “the villain will always take the good guys’ bait” lol, and here I thought Kirill was the genre savvy one. :D

(On that note, dude, Cooper. Had it ever occurred to you that maybe you could have just gotten some blood and tissue samples. It’s not like you need the entire human for that kind of research.)

“You have the right to remain silent. Probably.” :D

“If Doug says he’s gonna save the world he’ll get it done by EOB and then go home” :DDD So true. I love Doug so much.

“If Doug’s a hero then I’m his sidekick!” I love Kirill too, that adorable genre savvy dork. But also that note about whether being the one who needs to be saved makes him the heroine... I mean that would mean he’s Doug’s heroine. Like... I don’t even expect anything from the fandom at this point but still I’d just really really really want to see Doug riff on that.

And then we have an epilogue and everything is great and everyone is great and there are enough sequel hooks for a second season, and then some, and we even get a post end credit joke that also serves as a sequel hook, kind of.

On that note, btw. I keep seeing people being all “wtf was that plot twist about space colonies, what kind of shit plot is this!” and like... look, this show isn’t going to win any awards for story (it kind of crammed two seasons’ worth of story into one, and it shows) but also: 1. this is a silly buddy cop action comedy, if you want to be hung up over the plot, of all things, then be my guest but I think that’s kind of pointless; and 2. the show had been hinting at something going on with the world and things not being what they seemed to be since forever. Sure, the actual development we got was not exactly the one I’d expected, but ever since the reality show parody it had been blindingly obvious that there was a second world somewhere. So yeah.

I could go on but it’s really late and tomorrow I have all sorts of family things to take care of, so I’ll just say that I loved loved LOVED this show, it was my favorite in 2018 TV anime. Thank you everyone who was involved with it!!! I’m going to rewatch this a lot, and keep hoping for a second season.

Until then... well, I guess I still have the recap episode to watch. :D

*Then again... At this point who even needs a kiss? With the way Doug keeps looking at Kirill. Or the way Kirill totally had a DOKI! moment when Doug said he was there to save him. Or that “he’s my hero” monologue (and I’d like to reiterate that he even fleetingly entertains the thought of being Doug’s heroine, even though he decides to be his sidekick). And the way Doug said his name. And the flowers from the hospital episode. And Doug saying Kirill was his hero in that same episode. And making up for not saving him in that one episode when Kirill wasn’t really in any danger, by coming in guns blazing to save him now when he is in danger. Basically they’re just really into each other at this point romantically or not and they just need each other in their lives. Period.

#double decker #double decker: doug and kirill #doug and kirill #they really need to get married #i loved this show so much #second season PLEASE

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missmarquin · 6 years ago

Text

Magnetic, Ch. 4

In the future, romantic attraction is literal: each person is fitted with an electromagnetic bracelet which will pull you to your soulmate. It's hard, wondering who's out there for you. It's harder yet, when you have to come to understand yourself first.

CONTENT WARNING: Smut.

Read here on Ao3, where it’s formatted better!

Polarization

‘Polarization density also describes how a material responds to an applied electric field as well as the way the material changes the electric field, and can be used to calculate the forces that result from those interactions.’

….

This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, Otabek thought.

He’d finally made a choice. He’d finally grown a pair and hopped a plane to Moscow last minute. He’d finally tell Yuri that he loved him, and that he was stupid, and that he’d waited too fucking long to do this.

And then you know, he’d sweep him off his feet, finally kiss him and-- Well, Yuri was supposed to respond positively, because that was the dream, right? It wasn’t like you could deny the destiny bracelets, or whatever.

Otabek realized just how stupid he was, the moment that Yuri slapped on his bracelet, feeling the pull that tugged between them. The look of surprise and utter betrayal that flashed across his face.

Currently, Yuri was stomping around the kitchen, muttering angrily under his breath. Setting about a kettle of water for tea. Otabek watched from his seat at the kitchen table, one leg folded across the other, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck nervously.

Yuri bothered, because Otabek was the one that liked tea. Maybe that meant something. That thought wavered the moment Yuri slammed the pot onto the burner, turning to him suddenly.

“You lied,” he hissed. “How could you--” he started, but then paused, closing his eyes and rubbing at them. Then he let out a frustrated grunt.

“Yura--”

“Are you telling me that yours has been active since mine was turned on?”

Otabek swallowed thickly. “I-- uh… yes.” And Yuri just blinked at him, waiting for him to explain further. Otabek sighed. “I wasn’t expecting it,” he said quietly. “So when it did, I just kind of freaked--”

“Is the idea of being with me so terrible?” Yuri suddenly asked. His voice was about as small as Otabek suddenly felt. Couldn’t Yuri see-- didn’t Yuri know--

Well, probably not, Otabek reasoned. Yuri was incredibly bright, but tended to overlook things quite easily. “Yura,” Otabek said, standing up from the chair, going to him. “How could you possibly think that?”

“Well I--” Yuri started, the answer clearly rehearsed, but then he paused. “Wait, what--”

But Otabek was already pressing a hand against his cheek, his fingers tightened and pulling Yuri down to him. Yuri let out a cry of protest, his hands grabbing at Otabek’s arms to try and stop. Yuri might have had him in height, but Otabek was stockier. He pulled Yuri’s face to his, pressing their lips together.

And just as he expected, Yuri pulled away, pushing at him. Otabek refused to let go of his face though, his fingers still cradling his jaw firmly. “Yura,” he said, “It’s okay--”

“This has got to be a fucking joke,” Yuri said. Otabek could see the tears welling up in his eyes and oh no, Yuri was the world’s ugliest cryer, he didn’t want to see-- “I mean you couldn’t possibly-- you’re making fun of--”

“It’s okay,” Otabek interjected. Yuri snapped his mouth shut, his fingers still gripping his shirt tightly. Otabek rubbed his thumb along his jawline gently, trying to reassure him. “Yura, it’s okay,” he repeated.

“But… but Amita,” Yuri whispered, like uttering her name would somehow change things between them. Like her name somehow meant something, in that moment.

“I think that we both know she isn’t you,” Otabek replied.

“What the fuck does that mean? Beka, you were going to marry her.”

“You know better than anyone how my family is,” Otabek said quietly. “You know, Yura, how I didn’t want to leave. And when they arranged our marriage, how I couldn’t say no. And how--”

“Are you implying that you’ve liked me for what-- years?” Yuri shook his head, disbelieving.

Otabek only sighed softly, pulling his hands away from his face. “What was I to do? My parents have done everything for me,” he said sadly.

Yuri was about to say something when the kettle went off, the shrill whistle cutting through the air. Yuri wiggled out from Otabek’s grasp to pull it from the stove. Otabek watched as he poured the water into a cup, then as he placed the kettle down and wiggled around the tea bag. And then Yuri just stood there, staring at the counter, thinking.

Otabek didn’t like it when Yuri thought. Yuri was dangerous, when he thought. “You know, it’s not fucking fair,” Yuri finally said, letting out a bitter laugh. “I’ve loved you since I was like fourteen, but I’ve always thrown it to the side, because I’ve thought that you would never--” He stopped abruptly, his hands gripping the countertop so tightly that his fingertips turned white.

“But now you’re telling me that that wasn’t the case,” he finished with.

“For what it’s worth,” Otabek said, “I didn’t know until I left.” At that, Yuri turned around, giving him this look and Otabek couldn’t hide the wince that crossed his face. “You were a teenager, when I left,” he huffed. “We were teenagers. I was seventeen, and it was weird okay? I didn’t want to put a label on anything, but then I went back home to Almaty and everything just kind of…”

“Kind of what?” Yuri couldn’t hide the snark in his tone.

“It just lost its color. It was like my world was suddenly gray and the only thing that would have fixed it, was if you were there.” Well, that had sounded better in his head, but Otabek was too far into his monologue to stop. “Because I… well, you know. Love you, and all that.” It wasn’t the most articulate love confession, but it was very Otabek at least.

“Oh.” Yuri sounded like the wind had been knocked out of him. That was a good sign. Yuri slipped his fingers into the handle of the mug and brought it to Otabek, before plopping into a chair at the table. Otabek followed suit.

“But Amita…” Yuri started again, before trailing off.

“She knew.” Otabek’s voice was so quiet, that he wasn’t sure that Yuri had even heard him at first. He cleared his throat and then continued with, “I mean, she uh-- I wasn’t able to really hide it from her, I guess. We had an understanding.”

“You faked it pretty fucking well,” Yuri said.

“It wasn’t… fake,” Otabek’s tone was careful. “We loved each other, but we weren’t in love with each other. If that makes sense. I was still trying to sort things out though, so I was just happy that we worked.”

“But then…” Yuri motioned to his bracelet. Otabek twisted it nervously. The tug was softened to a dull hum, probably because they had found each other. “And then hers…”

“She was the one that broke it off.” Yuri knew that, but his face was unreadable. “But not because of the reason you would think.”

“She did it because of how you felt, didn’t she?” Yuri asked quietly.

Otabek thumbed at his mug for a long moment, before taking a sip. “It’s pretty pathetic when your fiancee tells you to go after someone else. Especially when it’s a man.”

“Otabek, I--” But Yuri paused, biting his lip. He looked so young like that. So young and unsure, and like he was about to burst at the seams. “I’m not actually angry at you.”

“I know you aren't’. If anything, I’m angry at myself.” Otabek sighed as he said it. “I shouldn’t have hid this from you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Yuri agreed, a slight frown tugging at his lips.

“But try to see it from my view.” Yuri looked at him, listening. “I had spent years bottling this shit up, and then yours is activated and-- I mean, suddenly everything I wanted was right there, you know? I had just come to terms with being myself.”

“Yeah, sorry that I fucked that up for you,” Yuri said sarcastically, his eyes narrowing.

“That’s not what I meant--”

“Yeah, yeah, you went and found yourself. And then everything went to hell.”

“Yura, it hasn’t gone to hell--”

“Why are you even here?” Yuri finally asked, crossing his arms over his chest. It was an honest question, his tone carefully calculated.

And Otabek knew that this one answer would be it. His mouth was as dry as the steppes that he’d ridden his motorcycle through. His next words would either make them or break them, and the latter was just not a feasible option.

“Because a life without you, isn’t a life at all,” Otabek said after a long moment of reflection.

Yuri blinked, and then blinked again. And his face turned red, his cheeks splotched and ruddy as his next words sputtered. “Jesus fucking christ Beka, you can’t just say shit like that.”

“What is it that you want me to say?” Otabek asked, trying his best to keep a pleading look off of his face.

“Say it again.” Yuri’s voice was quiet, wavering just slightly, like he was afraid that Otabek would somehow change his mind. That he’d realize that this was a mistake or something, like he was afraid. “Say it again, and say it properly.”

Otabek suddenly realized what exactly it was the Yuri wanted. He wanted reassurance. He wanted Otabek to show him that this wasn’t some joke, that he wasn’t playing him. Otabek pulled himself from the chair and dropped to his knees before Yuri.

“I love you, Yuri,” he said. His hands found Yuri’s knees, squeezing gently, playing with the fabric of his pants. “I’m pretty late to the game, but I’ve always loved you.”

Yuri regarded him for a long moment, and then he said, “Get off the fucking floor, you fool.” Then he stood, holding his hand out and helped Otabek up. Yuri didn’t let go though, holding his hand tightly, rubbing his thumb across the back of Otabek’s hand.

“You know,” he said, “I’ve imagined this scenario a thousand different ways over the years. I never would have thought it’d end with you on your knees for me.”

Otabek could think of other things that he’d rather do while on his knees in front of Yuri, but he forced a crooked smile across his face. Reaching up, he ran his thumb across his cheek, rubbing away the moisture there. Yuri wasn’t crying, but a few tears had slipped free.

“You’ve always responded positively to worship,” Otabek teased.

“Oh? Is that what you were doing? Worshipping me?”

“There are far better ways, I’d rather worship you with, especially if I’m on my knees.” The words slipped from Otabek’s mouth before he could stop them, and Yuri turned bright red, the intent not lost on him.

“You’re an absolute moron.”

“Yes,” Otabek agreed.

“But you’re my moron.”

“Always,” was Otabek’s reply.

“And you’re sure that Amita is okay with this?”

“Amita lives in the United States, married to another man. She has no standing.” Otabek was teasing, of course, but it didn’t stop him from reaching out and brushing some of Yuri’s hair behind his ear. Anything to offer some modicum of comfort, really.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Yuri finally said, stopping Otabek in his tracks. “I’m tired, you’re tired, it’s been a long day. I’m fucking exhausted and this is a lot to take in.”

Otabek dropped his hand sheepishly. Yeah, rest, that was a good idea. There was plenty of time to talk about this. “I’ll take the couch--”

“Absolutely not,” Yuri said. He’d already pulled away and grabbed the mug. He frowned at Otabek, as he poured the tea down the sink. “Bed’s big enough for both of us.”

Otabek swallowed thickly. “Right,” he managed weakly.

“It’ll be like old times.”

Otabake closed his eyes, dragging a hand down his face. “Yura, it’ll be nothing like old times,” he finally said. And he looked back to Yuri, he found the man smirking back at him with amusement. He’d been teasing him!

“Yeah, you’re right. It’ll be like new times,” Yuri said, walking over to Otabek who hummed lightly in response. Yuri grabbed at his hand, yanking him toward the room. He could practically feel the blood roaring in his veins.

But it was a good roar, and it felt like Yuri was leading them to their future.

…

Yuri couldn’t sleep.

This occurrence wasn’t so uncommon, really. A lot of the time he couldn’t sleep-- be it the sore muscles, his aching back, or late-night thoughts of what his life was and could be. But this time, the source of his insomnia was sleeping next to him, snoring gently.

It shouldn’t be awkward. Yuri and Otabek had shared a bed tons of times before. Of course, it’d been a few years, but shit shouldn’t change, right? Except that it had, and Yuri couldn’t stop thinking about it. So, he sat on the edge of the mattress, wringing his fingers slightly.

It was weird, how you could want something and expect to never have it, but the moment that you could, shit get weird. Yuri had waited his entire life, to be able to tell Otabek how he’d felt, and that was good. He was glad.

Now came the added complication of Otabek loving him back.

Which, shouldn’t even be a complication, right?

Yuri jumped slightly when he felt a warm hand press against his shoulder. The mattress sunk under Otabek’s weight as he shifted. “Yura?” he murmured sleepily, pressing his forehead against his shoulder. Still half asleep then, Yuri surmised. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just thinking.”

“You never think,” Otabek said. He shifted again, moving to swing his legs over the side and sit next to Yuri properly. “You always do. What’s bothering you?”

“I love you,” Yuri answered, and he saw Otabek’s frown in the moonlight that filtered in through the window.

“Yeah, I know,” Otabek replied. His hand swept down Yuri’s shoulder and then arm in a comforting gesture.

“Do you though? I don’t mean in a ‘yeah I’ve kind of liked you for awhile’ way. I mean in a ‘my heart literally stops at the sight of you’ way.” Yuri couldn’t help the way that his voice cracked slightly. “It’s one thing for you to say that you love me too, but is it on the same level?”

“Are you serious?” Otabek breathed. Yuri frowned; Otabek’s tone was caught between amusement and breathlessness. The older man couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up from his throat and for a moment, Yuri’s heart clenched that same fear from earlier. The fear that this was some massive and utter joke, that Otabek was just stringing him along until he got tired of it, because there was no way that he’d feel the same about him and--

Otabek’s weight shifted again until he was kneeling in front of Yuri. His hands slid up to gently grab his face and Yuri couldn’t help but lean in. He was taller, this position slightly awkward, but--

“How could you possibly think that, Yura?” Otabek asked, his thumb ghosting across Yuri’s cheek lightly. “How could you even entertain that my feelings aren’t the same? For years, you’re all I’ve ever thought about. Fuck, the woman I was going to marry left me because of my feelings for you.”

Yuri swallowed over the lump in his throat. “Beka, I--”

“I realized it too late,” Otabek said, leaning upwards, pulling at Yuri slightly. “But I’m here now, Yura. I’m here now, and I’m not going away. I love you--”

“Would you just kiss me already?” Yuri snapped in a harsh whisper.

Otabek immediately complied, rising up to press their mouths together. This wasn’t like the soft peck earlier in the kitchen, innocent and chaste, the one that Yuri had pulled away from. This was full of longing, Otabek gripping his jawline firmly as his other hand slid around his waist, pulling Yuri closer to the edge of the bed.

Yuri didn’t pull away from him this time. He pulled him closer, like he was trying to lose himself in Otabek. His lips were soft and chapped, but they felt better than anyone else. And he’d kissed a lot of people in his life. Otabek’s hand moved from his jaw to the back of his head, grasping gently as he changed their angle, running his tongue along the seam of Yuri’s mouth.

Yuri gasped, his lips falling open. Otabek licked into him, and Yuri moaned, and it seemed like all of his blood rushed south. He’d dreamed of this, imagined this in so many different scenarios, but the reality was so much better than he could have ever wished. Yuri responded in kind, his hands reaching up for Otabek’s face, caressing the skin there. Then they flitted over his hair, gripping lightly as he kissed back.

Otabek yanked at his hips, pulling him nearly off the edge of the bed to press their hips together and Yuri panicked momentarily because--

Otabek paused, pulling back. “Yura,” he breathed, the moment hanging between them.

Yuri swallowed, wanting to crawl into the bed and die. It was stupid, how hard he was, so quickly. It was hot, too hot, the room was suddenly sweltering and his pants tented and too tight because he didn’t wear proper underwear to bed. Otabek was there, his eyes dropping to his lap and then back up.

“Yura,” he repeated, looking like a starving man in a desert, his eyes half-lidded with lust and--

Jesus fucking christ. Otabek had palmed him through his pants, the thin material in the way, but no enough to make the touch anything but phenomenal. “Is this okay?” Otabek asked, and Yuri practically whined, moving to grip his hand to keep it there.

“Okay?” Yuri snapped. “You’re asking me if this is okay-- you’re such a moron.” He canted his hips upward. “Obviously.” He moved to pull Otabek’s face back up to his, but the other man pulled away, leaning back on his heels.

He a hand down Yuri’s side until it paused at the waistband of his pajama pants, thumbing the fabric there. The other was still cupped around his hardness, not squeezing but there, just holding him. And if Otabek didn’t fucking do something, Yuri was going to literally combust.

“Beka,” he started, but almost immediately lost his words when Otabek gave him a rough squeeze and let go.

“Yura, what do you want?” It was a sincere question. Not one uttered in sultry tone, during the heat of the moment. It was an honest question, with Otabek peering back at him like he was afraid that Yuri would say no. As if.

“Beka, please,” he pleaded, lifting his hips slightly. Otabek hesitated before helping him slip the pants off. The cool air was like a balm on his hardened length, but then he saw the look on Otabek’s face. Like he was drowning in the sight of him, his lips parted slightly as his hands gripped Yuri’s thighs tightly.

“I don’t get on my knees for just anyone,” Otabek said quietly, and Yuri felt his voice hitch and his heart skip a beat. “I would never do this for anyone but you, Yura.”

Yuri practically yelped at the feeling of Otabek licking up his length, before wrapping his hand around the base. His grip seemed unsure, hesitant, as he tried several different applications of pressure. And then it clicked, what Otabek had meant.

Of course he’d never do this to anyone else, he never had. Yuri would be the first and only, and suddenly his heart swelled slightly at the idea. He reached down, wrapping his hand around Otabek’s, as he said, “Like this, Beka.” Not to tight, but firm, showing him how to pull the foreskin down.

Otabek’s head dipped again, and Yuri felt wet heat engulf the tip of his cock. He hissed at the sensation, his other hand slipping down to sink into the soft curls on Otabek’s head. He usually slicked his hair back, but Yuri liked it like this-- wild and unruly, coiling around his forehead.

Otabek’s tongue swirled around his head and Yuri groaned, barely stopping his hips from bucking upwards. The other man hummed, slipping for of his length inside his mouth, sucking gently and--

Fuck, Yuri was already close, he was already so close and it wasn’t fair. He wanted this to last forever, he wanted this to never end. His fingers pulled at Otabek’s hair tightly, as the other man pulled back, only to dip down again, twisting his hand around the base slightly.

Otabek wasn’t even undressed, and Yuri was reduced to a mess next to him. From the heat of his mouth, to the heat of his gaze he just-- And then Otabek looked up at him, his lips stretched around his cock, his eyes half-lidded and pupils blown wide underneath his long eyelashes. Yuri gasped at the sight, at the pull of his hand, at the way his tongue slid along the underside of his length.

Yuri remembered the first blow job he’d ever given, and it wasn’t like this. It had been awkward and terrible, and his experienced partner hadn’t been patient with him. Otabek was different though. Otabek didn’t even seem to be trying, running on instinct. Perhaps this is what made the difference, this overwhelming feeling of love. Yuri bucked his hips slightly, unable to stop and Otabek groaned around him, and it wasn’t fucking fair how good this was.

“Beka,” he hissed. “I’m so close--” he tried to warn, his grip on Otabek’s hair tightening. The other man doubled down on his efforts, sucking harder, pressing faster. Swallowing him as deep as he could without choking before pulling off. He kissed the tip, sliding his hand up and down, before swallowing him again.

Yuri felt the telltale tightening in his gut, and he crashed over the edge almost immediately, his hips jerking slightly towards Otabek. Otabek moaned around him, swallowing without a thought, and Yuri couldn’t think of anything hotter, he decided.

He hissed at the last lick that Otabek gave him, before pulling off, his lips tracing around his lips as he--

“Fuck,” Yuri groaned, falling back to the mattress in a melted heap. He could feel it, spent all the way down to his bones. The bed sagged under Otabek as he climbed back in, leaning against the headboard, and pulling Yuri’s head into his lap.

Yuri shifted from his grasp though, straddling his hips with ease. Otabek’s hands found his hips quickly, squeezing, thumbing the soft skin there. His face so full of love, that Yuri wanted to paint a picture of it forever. Otabek only proved that he could still wreck him; that he could wreck him over and over again.

Yuri’s hand reached up, slipping just under his shirt, ghosting over the hard muscles he found there. “You’re over dressed,” he said, pulling the fabric up. Otabek helped him ease off the shirt.

“You’re still in your shirt,” he countered, but Yuri hushed him. His hand slipped across his skin, his fingers running along his collarbone and across his chest. Over a nipple, teasing it slightly, and Otabek shifted his hips under him, his hands tightening their hold.

Yuri hummed at that, a small smile crossing his features. “Did you ever sleep with Amita?” It was a question with an answer that didn’t really mean anything, but curiosity poked at him.

And judging by the look on Otabek’s face, the other man didn’t like the thought of it, or him asking. “Yura, that’s not--”

“I’m only curious,” Yuri interrupted. “I mean, she’d be fucking stupid to ignore this,” he said, settling his hips closer, slotting them together to where he could feel the hardness underneath him. More impressive than he would have thought, and honestly his mouth watered with want.

“Yes,” Otabek groaned, and Yuri paused. “What I mean-- er-- Amita.” Yuri liked the fact that such a simple movement could render him literally speechless. “It wasn’t like this, though,” Otabek continued with. “I couldn’t be--”

“Damn right,” Yuri said, leaning closer to him, his face only a hair's breadth away. “She wasn’t me, right?”

“Yura,” Otabek sighed, and he closed the small gap between them, kissing him again. One of his hands slid down Otabek’s abs, dragging his nails across the spattering of hair underneath his bellybutton. And then southward, hesitating at the edge of his pants.

Otabek let out a frustrated grunt, and Yuri practically swallowed it, his tongue snaking out across his lips. And then he pulled back, pressing their foreheads together. “Are you okay with this?” he breathed, his hand cupping Otabek’s length through the fabric of his pants.

“Fuck,” Otabek replied.

“Not yet,” Yuri laughed. But Otabek was already lifting his hips, his hands scrambling to pull down his pants before Yuri could protest. And it wasn’t that Yuri didn’t want to, oh he so did. But he wanted to take his time, he wanted to pick Otabek apart and put him back together. And really, they had all the time in the world.

He shifted his hips back slightly, looking down between them, where Otabek stood at attention. Yuri had seen his fair share of dicks, but this one was perfection. Thick and cut, dark like his tanned skin and already weeping at the tip. Otabek took Yuri’s staring as hesitation, already ready to put a halt to this and--

Yuri wrapped his hand around him tightly, using his thumb to spread the slickness that had already gathered there. Otabek threw his head back so fast that he cracked it against the headboard. Yuri paused to look at him, but the other man didn’t seem to even care, his gaze trained on his hand and what it was doing.

Yuri let go for a moment, licking at his hand, before gripping him again. This time the slide of his hand was slicker, easier, and he twisted his palm over the head of Otabek’s cock lightly. The legs under him tensed slightly, and he could hear Otabek’s ragged breathing. Like he was barely holding on.

“Yura, that isn’t-- I’m-- It’s not fair,” he whined, and Yuri smirked.

“It’s not a contest,” he cooed, “There’s no prize for lasting long.” His hand tugged once, twice more, and then the other went to cup his balls. Otabek bucked his hips into his hand, and with one more twist of Yuri’s hand, he jerked slightly, coming all over his fingers.

Yuri couldn’t help but feel smug about that, he supposed, because the entire thing had lasted maybe two minutes. And it didn’t matter, because it was good, it had been so good.

Otabek shifted, pulling Yuri towards him for another kiss, this one sweet and quick. Yuri grabbed at his shirt, wiping at Otabek-- much to his protest-- before settling into his side. Resting his head against his chest, not caring that the both of them sweaty and tired and in need of a shower.

Otabek’s hand found his scalp, pressing against it gently. Yuri hummed lightly, sinking into the feeling of his fingers carding through the silky strands of his hair. This wasn’t new, they’d done this in years past-- but Yuri had never realized just how much he had missed it. Missed this closeness. Craved it.

“I wonder what Grandpa will say,” Yuri muttered, a silly thought.

“Yura, can we not talk about him right now?” Otabek’s chest rumbled with his words, underneath Yuri’s cheek.

“He’d be relieved,” Yuri continued, not caring for the other man’s request. “He always thought you were a good one.” When Otabek didn’t respond, Yuri pulled away slightly, glancing up at him. “It was hard for you, huh? With your parents and everything.”

Otabek’s hand paused in his hair. “You have no idea,” he said quietly. “I was so determined to make them happy.”

“I know they’re devout and all--”

“Yura--”

“But, if God was so against something like this, then why do we exist?” The question tumbled out of his mouth with hushed urgency. “Isn’t he the one who made us for each other?” Yuri wasn’t religious, and Otabek barely was, but tradition was as thick as blood was, where he came from. “I mean, you aren’t planning on just leaving--”

“I already promised you, I’m not going anywhere,” Otabek said, hushing him.

“But you’ll have to go home,” Yuri said, as it suddenly sunk in. Otabek might have shown up on his doorstep, but he wasn’t from there.

“I would think it’s obvious,” Otabek huffed. “My home is wherever you are, Yura.”

It was such a cheesy line, that Yuri couldn’t help but chuckle. “What a fucking sap.”

“Yes, but I’m your sap.” The words mirrored his from earlier, where he proclaimed that he was Yuri’s moron. Which led to the memory of Otabek before him, proclaiming that he’d be the only one he’d ever get on his knees for. Yuri’s legs were still jelly at that particular display.

“You sure know how to make someone happy,” Yuri sighed, content.

“And are you?”

“Obviously.” Otabek let out a breath of relief as Yuri pulled away from him, making an excuse about setting his phone alarm for the morning.

Yuri [2:13AM]: Your advice was fucking prophetic, Katsudon.

Yuri [2:13AM]: Otabek showed up on my doorstep tonight.

Katsudon [2:14AM]: Otabek?

Katsudon [2:14AM]: Wait, why would Otabek…? Katsudon [2:15AM]: WAIT.

Yuri smiled, imagining Yuuri’s face, as he realized exactly what he meant.

Katsudon [2:16AM]: Is this… are you good?

Yuri had been typing a reply, when Otabek muttered something tiredly. “I know it’s about four years to late, but I love you, Yura.”

Yuri’s toes curled at the words.

Yuri [2:18AM]: Yeah, everything is fucking perfect.

#otayuri #Otabek Altin #otabek and yuri #Yuri on ice #yuri on ice fanfiction #yurionice #Yuri Plisetsky #smut

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wehveechen · 6 years ago

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Shadows of Possibility - Fanfic Trailer

A test for a possible fanfiction that gives us a highly detailed alternate ending to Noblesse, featuring some scenes.

This... is literally a fanfiction trailer, I guess. I am testing the waters with this, trying to see whether people would actually be interested in something like that, since... this would be a big chungus. Giving everyone closure and character development with a whole alternative ending? What I plan would probably be a fanfiction of a real TON of chapters, so... I would hate to start without knowing if anyone would read this, haha.

Anyway... some things you all could look forward to under the cut?

„Unbelievable, isn't it? I stand corrected. I always thought if the werewolves are going to pull a shit move on us, they will do it altogether.“

The First Elder tended to speak faster when he was angry – and though he was trying to deflect it with humor, Third could tell that the recent turn of events was giving him more than just a bit of a headache. Something he was inclined to agree with. For how long had they been watching the werewolves closely, waiting for an opportunity? That opening seemed less likely than ever, now. If the nobles invaded the territory of the werewolves and if the Second Elder weeded out the traitors among his own warrior... Third sat up slowly. Before he could get up, First returned to the bed and joined him with an ungraceful flop and a huff of frustration.

“You know, I always thought... if anyone is going to betray us, it'll be Maduke. The Fifth Elder...” “.... she never really seemed to care,” Third agreed with a slow nod. How strange was it, now, to hear that she has been convicted of treason in the most recent incident involving the nobles of Lukedonia? Just months ago, she had fought them by his side...

The Third's train of thought was disrupted by First's hand running over his bare chest.

“Fuck the werewolves and the nobles,” the blond man said. “Our hour will come, sooner or later. We have waited for so long, we can wait for a bit longer.”

Third hummed, absent-minded. Even though he agreed to ease his lover's mind... Deep down, he felt as though this was just the beginning.

Deprived of sunlight, Frankenstein could no longer tell how much time had passed since the battle, a bloody haze of madness and violence. Emptily, he stared into the magic flame that would keep him company until he, too, died. Like everything else that has been trapped in this dungeon. Dark Spear was gone, where his lover was supposed to cradle his soul with black claws, a gaping pit had formed. He was gone as well. Only a single thought remained on Frankenstein's mind: failure. In failing to defeat his enemies, he'd let them reach his Master... how many had died that day, at the hands of the werewolves? What kind of horrors must the survivors have endured?

This thought gave birth to a spark that set the frayed edges of his soul on fire. There was no point in slamming his fists against the heavy stone that sealed him in Lagus Tradio's laboratory that meant to become his cold tomb.

Breaking furniture, tearing rugs, crumpling pages, he crafted himself a makeshift torch. Humans are tenacious like that – before he would die in this forsaken place, he would have vengeance. Before he stayed here to rot, he would find a way... and if he could not live in peace by the side of his Master, then he would rather die covered in the blood of his enemies.

Taking a deep breath, Frankenstein set fire to the makeshift torch and headed towards the passage that would lead him deeper into the mountain. If there was a way out, he would find it.

The manor felt emptier than ever before. Memories clung to each corner of these walls. This... this must be what torture felt like. Torn between the paralyzing inability to do something and the restless need to stay on the move... How could Raizel sit still when Frankenstein was gone and the Lord in the hands of the enemy? His heart ached at the thought of the Principal's Office, empty, deserted, deserted as the Lord's throne.

A gentle touch upon his shoulder. Raizel did not need to turn his head to know that Garda had joined him. Quiet, silence, such as she always has been.

“I am sorry,” she said softly and he said nothing. The loss they had suffered that day... could not be put into words. The ultimate sacrifice... He should have been the one to do it. This was the burden of the Noblesse: to give his life for the nobles. Instead, others had carried the weight of his duty for him, that day. He swallowed hand and, after a moment, placed his hand over Garda's. There was no need for words- he knew she blamed herself as much as he did.

“We will free your Lord, we will avenge the ones we love... and we will end the reign of terror of the monster who calls himself Lord,” Garda said softly. A slight tremble to her voice betrayed her wavering determination. Slowly, Raizel nodded. “If this will be what takes my life... then so be it,” he said softly, turning his gaze to the sky outside. “... If this will be what takes my life... then so be it. Let vengeance be the last thing I do,” Garda confirmed softly.

They had nothing left but each other and their grief.

“I cannot believe you get to spread the juicy gossip.” Dr. Aris' voice was sweet as ever, yet at the same time, the cadence of her words felt different. Not as grating anymore. She had changed. Or maybe Yuri was the one who'd changed, and he just did not acknowledge it yet. Either way... He cast a glance at her. The way her eyes had lit up at the news... Yuri could not deny that he himself could hardly wait to try his new powers.

With a chuckle, he pushed up his glasses. “Well, remember, you're officially dead.” Aris rolled her eyes. Details, she'd say, but she bit back the comment. “... right,” she conceded with a huff. “... it's not like this won't be all over soon anyway.” “Right. Besides... You're the one getting to foil their plans. I'm jealous, you know. I wanted to test my powers for so long...” “Well, stand in line, Yuri.” Aris pouted. “Dr. Crombel wanted me to do the job, so I will do it. Besides... Tao and Takeo might be there.” Her pout turned into a sunny smile within seconds. “... and I would love to see them again. I am still very angry that they ran away from me, you know...” “... yes.. but Miss Seira would be there too, you see.” “Oh... don't worry.” Aris glanced at him and briefly ran her hand over his shoulder. “I will greet her from you before killing her.”

The cold metal of the handcuffs cut into M-21's wrists. The forest around them was calm – one could hardly imagine the battles that had taken place here just weeks ago. The mere thought of it made his stomach churn. Kentas... Frankenstein...

When he almost stumbled over a protruding root, Ignes' grip on his arm tightened and he steadied himself again. Step by step. He felt the watchful gaze of the warrior who accompanied them burning in his back. He remembered that face just too well. Ignes stopped all of a sudden and thus, he was forced to stop as well.

“Gayare?” “Yes, my Lady?” “I forgot my data folder at the castle laboratories. I need them. Go and fetch them for me.” M-21 tilted his head back to see the warrior grit his teeth in annoyance. “The Lord ordered me to accompany you at all times, Lady Ignes.” “And Your Lady needs her data,” she insisted with narrowed eyes. “Do you want me to tell the Lord you have stood in the way of my work by refusing to get me the data I need?” “I would never -” “Then go. I think I am perfectly capable of escorting a prisoner to the other laboratory by myself.” The werewolf warrior struggled for a few moments – and finally acquiesced. “I will bring your research folders to the other facility, my Lady.” “The blue one. Titled... Stable Fluid Decomposition in.... Limbal Aortas. Now off you go.”

The warrior turned around to head back for the castle while M-21 and Ignes continued their way. “There is no such folder, is there?” “Of course not.” She snorted and stopped. After a moment of thought, she let go of his arm. Her breath was shaky. “... Alright... This is about as close to the border as I can get you without arousing suspicion. Your best bet is to keep heading west, you should hit the shore eventually. Do you have everything?”

M-21 nodded and waited for Ignes to open the lock on his shackles. The scroll with the Lord's Orders and the USB-Stick both were on the interior pocket of the shirt she'd given him, reminding him of the price of his freedom.

“Hey... I just realized... I don't know your name.” “Not just you.” He stepped away and rubbed at his left wrist. “Remember your promise.” She looked... fearful. They both knew what was at stake with this scheme of theirs. “Remember. You must reach Lukedonia and contact the Union. Everyone and everything depends on you now.... so... good luck.”

#noblesse #vees fanfics #i need to test the waters before actuall writing such a big chungus asdfghj #and see whether this is sth people are interested in you feel me?

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itsbenedict · 6 years ago

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No Driver’s License: Session 36

No Driver’s License is a Madoka Magica game I’m running for five players, using a homebrew of Yaruki Zero’s Magical Burst system. It follows five magical girls as they deal with an upheaval in the world’s magic system caused by some strange new three-eyed Incubators. They have to figure out what’s going on, who to trust, and how to put a stop to the cycle of despair.

I post session logs and omakes weekly sporadically, both as a reference for the players and for anyone who wants to follow along with the party’s misadventures.

[adventure log- read from the beginning]

[session 35]

Last time on No Driver’s License, the party managed to beat what should be the final combat encounter. They caused Honoka Midarezaki to witch out, leaving behind only Katou Kimiko, and... well, is that going to be enough? Because... Emiko beat Ibara to snagging Kimiko’s Soul Seed, and the situation might demand further defusing.

So, the big question- are we reviving Kimiko, here?

Emiko vehemently denies any intention of doing so, but... well, Fumi-chan’s still being a little shit.

Ibara points out that they’ve got other options on hand, but Tama-chan refuses to do the reviving, too- she intends to just put her on ice and keep her from reviving indefinitely. And... Nishi’s on her side, here. That leaves zero willing Incubators.

Emiko’s in no hurry, though- she’d rather just have everyone here back the fuck off, please.

There’s more arguing that wants to happen, largely because Emiko and Sakura want to do it- which Ibara is opposed to doing here, now. Yukari and Makoto are more or less behind her, on that count.

Emiko ends up agreeing- she would rather not bring Kimiko back to life here, surrounded by enemies and liable to panic and lash out.

Tama-chan and Nishi try to urge the team to take out Emiko while they have the chance- they sort of haven’t been around for any of the... learning about the cannibals and how they’re maybe redeemable, and just see a chance to put a stop to them. Yukari explains that they want to recruit the cannibals, which... the Incubators are rather surprised by. She explains her plan, but Tama-chan has doubts.

Meanwhile, in the rocket, Makoto and Sakura are catching Hekima up on the situation with the cannibals. She, like Tama and Nishi, is not convinced recruitment is viable- but for different reasons.

Sakura explains that they intend to rewire magic itself to not work that way. Her plan for that, though, is pretty ambitious- her step 1 is “use magic to bootstrap a superintelligence, and have that fix magic for us”.

Answering her questions means looping her in on... the whole Hell Engine thing, and the Devil, and they’re not sure whether to divulge all that right now. An inquiry re: her personal motivations is made, wherein she affirms that all she wants is to survive.

Sakura only then notices Nishi’s presence, and asks her some questions about hacking the Hell Engine to rewire magic.

Hekima keeps pushing to be told about their mysterious source of Grief relief, not allowing the subject to be changed. They’re... still not sure if she can be trusted, though.

Sakura’s ensuing Heart roll is... middling. Hekima doesn’t exactly react angrily to that, but...

Back at the ranch- I mean, back on the moon but like a dozen meters away- Yukari and Tama-chan are still going at it over the cannibal plan.

Ibara tries to get things back on track.

That’s... good enough for Yukari, who tries to cement that stance. If she can prove they don’t need to eat anyone anymore, will Emiko commit to not doing soul cannibalism?

Emiko’s not really ready to commit to anything, and she’s worried everything is a trick, and doesn’t like how Yukari won’t actually explain what the plan is. Ibara tries to put it in plain language, which gets her a little more cooperative.

Yukari and Ibara describe the Hell Engine and the Devil in... terms vague enough to not give Emiko enough information to fuck with them, but enough to give her something to work with. Emiko’s final stance here is... she isn’t going to just immediately go along with it. She’s going to go home, revive Kimiko, and talk with her and Yoshe as a team about whether this is a good idea, before committing to anything.

That agreed upon, it’s time to go home. Ibara goes and checks on the crew in the perfectly functional rocket ship they have, where they’re still trying to figure out Hekima.

WELL I SURE HOPE SO

Meanwhile, Yukari has one last thing to do before they take off. She wants to get Orino to shrink down the Hell Engine so it can be made portable- and more importantly, able to be hidden from the cannibals if they find out what it is. Seina helps her track Orino down with the pre-existing telepathy connection they made when they arrived.

Ibara and the others, though, are getting impatient- and Yukari can just teleport home, right?

So they... sorta take off without her. Sakura rolls a crit on Heart to pilot it home, and Ibara... assists.

That all goes... mostly well. There are some Things that happen when they land, but let’s resolve Yukari’s quest first:

Tama-chan is here chiding her and calling her an idiot, but mainly about the “telling the cannibals about important stuff” thing, and not the issue at hand. Yukari... takes it as kind of a revelation, though.

Yukari has a whole spiel about how she isn’t sure if Honoka still exists, what that relationship will be like, agonizing over that...

She goes on for a while about how maybe she’s broken and intrinsically evil and just ought to embrace her destiny as a plotting villain who doesn’t care about other peoples’ feelings. Tama-chan sort of ineffectually tries to derail that.

Yukari eventually comes down from her self-loathing high, and decides against pressuring Orino further. Tama-chan still isn’t happy about the cannibal plan, but acknowledges that she can’t really stop it, and vanishes. (By “vanishes”, I mean she self-destructs the Kyubey she’s piloting, and auto-recalls her gem to her base, but same deal plus some gold rings for Yukari.)

Meanwhile, on the way to Earth, some stuff happens. First, Makoto gets in contact with a friend:

Before I can show you what happens when they land, though, I need to rewind to a non-player omake that happened simultaneous with the session.

Rather than paste the whole thing: Olivia Gumm is in the bunker, working on her manga. She’s mostly on track to meet her deadline, but then Takamine Mitsuki shows up, and starts to ask questions. Olivia draws a fantasy yuri manga which is supposed to be all-ages, but she’s not sure if the Takamines are traditionalists and isn’t sure whether to explain it to Mitsuki.

Mitsuki turns out to be pretty open-minded when Olivia starts explaining, and from what she says about what her parents have said about the subject, Olivia won’t get in trouble for corrupting their daughter or anything. Mitsuki eventually runs off to ask her mom more about “homerphobia”, and- whoops, then Olivia breaks her pen.

Meanwhile, with Ibara’s delinquent buddies...

After some arguing over whether they’re going to go investigate, settled by Ibara’s sister Nano threatening to sic Ibara on them if they don’t quit making a ruckus, they go and find the source of the knocking.

The delinquents push past the barricade, ignoring Olivia’s horror at having broken Reiko’s rules, and find... no one. She’s missing. (She’s been kidnapped to the moon by the Devil.) Shibu fires off some texts to Ibara:

So, that’s what happened while they were gone. As they re-enter the atmosphere and regain cell reception, Ibara gets those texts.

Sakura lands the rocket in the Gyoen National Garden, the park where Reiko’s bunker is hidden. The thing’s decked out in Somebody Else’s Problem amulets, so they’re fine muggle-wise. Ibara heads down to check in on Reiko and the bunker inhabitants.

As it turns out, Shibu was able to keep Nails from contracting, despite Nails being extremely excited to be told that she has magical potential and could contract. So, that’s a bullet(?) dodged, at least. Everything down in the bunker seems pretty much fine.

Seina also heads down there- with Cho clinging to her arm, in front of her parents, an embarrassing situation that will be addressed in a couple sessions.

After checking on the bunker folk, Sakura is the first to head upstairs and outside, where she meets...

Sakura has... a bit of a breakdown, worrying about her purified trauma tracks. She’s worried about a feeling like life is pointless.

(Sheesh, Hekima.)

Sakura ends up asking Hekima to take a look inside her head, see if she can find out what witching did to her. Hekima is totally up for it, it seems.

They spend a while psychoanalyzing her, through Hekima’s maybe-not-super-reliable lens of pulling on true and false statements and guessing about the underlying neurology. Hekima’s verdict is that Sakura is just... very susceptible to emotional manipulation, prone to mood swings and wild behavior in response to minor stimuli. Hekima, as an old-school magical girl, is more than happy to catalogue her mental weaknesses.

And then... well, Hekima has her mancatcher around Sakura’s neck, and the thing to remember is that this sort of exploratory brain imaging stuff is not the primary function of the ability. The primary function of the ability is to forcibly read someone’s mind. When Sakura says she’s done and asks to be released...

They make contested rolls, and it’s close, but Hekima barely beats her.

(The ability description was cribbed from an unused character sheet Farn made, which I decided to remix a bit to make Hekima.)

So, the result of that is...

She tries to say “I can’t tell you that”, but fails, because that’s a lie- she can tell her that, she just won’t. Instead, she continues on the obfuscation tack.

Then Sakura tries to punch her, but fails her roll.

So... that’s not ominous.

Next time on No Driver’s License: Sakura and Yukari have a heart-to-heart over some curry, and Makoto pays a visit to the cannibals to see how their team discussion has been going. I’m sure this will all wrap up super-neatly.

#no driver's license

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worldofcopperwings · 7 years ago

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#2 “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.” Otayuri

[rating: Teen]

This turned out almost 1.4k words, so I’m putting most of it under read more.

[You can also find all the ficlets on AO3]

Otabek is always so calm and stoic on the outside thatit’s basically his trademark. People know him to be expressionless, alwaysserene and unaffected by anything that happens around him.

Which is why it comes as a surprise to Yuri that Otabek’scalm exterior hides something so vulnerable.

It is months into the thing they haven’t quite labeled as a ‘relationship’ for Otabek to agree to sleep in the same bed withYuri. Yuri’s asked him to stay over multiple times and finally just acceptedthat Otabek likes his privacy when he sleeps. So he stops asking, until Otabekone day scratches the back of his neck and asks if he can stay overnight.

Yuri raises his eyebrows, exasperated. “Are youkidding me? Of course you can stay.”

Yuri loves the feeling of falling asleep in someone’sarms. He loves having something warm and solid to cuddle to, like an anchorthat keeps him safely tethered to his bed. Otabek is kind of distant that nightwhen they go to bed, but he snuggles against Yuri nonetheless. Yuri decides toask about it in the morning.

As Yuri startles awake at three AM, he realizes in arush why Otabek hasn’t agreed to sleepovers before. Yuri flicks the light onthe nightstand on and turns to watch Otabek with anxious fascination as he’s sleepingon the other side of the bed.

He’s not in sleeping peacefully, though. His limbs aretrembling and his spine arching off the bed.

It looks like a nightmare, even though Yuri has neverreally seen anyone having a nightmare before. Otabek starts tossing and turningunder the covers, thrashing around and mumbling incoherently in his sleep.There are no actual words coming out of his mouth, but the noises he makessound distressed.

Yuri doesn’t know how to deal with it. He’s readsomewhere that you shouldn’t wake up a sleepwalker because they might startleand injure themselves or have a heart attack or whatnot, but this isn’tsleepwalking. This is something else entirely.

Otabek’s brow is furrowed and there is a sheen ofsweat glistening on his forehead. His shirt is plastered to his skin as hismuscles quiver, his body tangled in the blankets.

Yuri reaches out, cautiously, and touches Otabek’sshoulder. He’s prepared to jump back at any second, which is good becauseOtabek jerks and swings his arm at Yuri.

Yuri scrambles back on the bed so he’s out of reach. “Otabek?”

The thrashing and mumbling continues.

He tries again, louder. “Otabek.”

“Huh?” Otabek stills, eyes blinking rapidly. Otabek’schest is moving irregularly, breaths tearing in and out of his body. His eyesgaze into nothingness for a moment and then turn, focusing on Yuri where he iskneeling at the foot of the bed.

“You were having a nightmare,” Yuri says.

“Oh. Shit.” Otabek looks away. “I’m sorry.”

Yuri looks at him incredulously. “You’re apologizingfor having a bad dream?”

Otabek sits up and peels off the mess of blankets. Hisshorts and t-shirt are clinging to his skin. “A bit more than just a regularold bad dream,” Otabek mumbles. He gets up and pads into the bathroom. When hereemerges, he’s changed into dry clothes.

Yuri wrinkles his brow at the change of clothing.Otabek brought another set of sleepwear with him. That must mean he expectedsomething like this to happen.

“Do you have nightmares often?” Yuri asks when Otabeksits stiffly down on the edge of the bed.

Otabek lets out a bitter chuckle. “If I’m lucky I canget three nights of uninterrupted sleep in a week.”

Yuri blinks. “Oh. Um. I’m sorry.” He fidgets with theedge of the blanket. “What are the dreams about?”

“It changes. Sometimes it’s finding my sister dead.Sometimes I’m drowning in murky water and can’t find the surface. That kind ofstuff. But there’s always someone who’s behind it. Some entity that’s doing itall, killing my sister, tossing me in the water. It’s frustrating.” Otabekdoesn’t sound frustrated, though. He sounds resigned.

“Oh.” Yuri lets go of the blanket. “That sucks.”

“Yeah, well it’s been like this pretty much always. I’veseen sleep therapists, psychiatrists, the whole bunch. Nothing seems to help,”Otabek mutters. He’s not looking at Yuri. “I guess now you know why I didn’twant to sleep over.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like,” Yuri begins and thenpauses. “I don’t care. I just want to know if there’s anything I can do tohelp.”

Otabek shrugs.

They go back to sleep. Otabek falls asleep prettysoon, but Yuri stays awake until the sky illuminates in a pale glow, listeningto every small shift and movement from the other side of the bed.

Otabek avoids staying with Yuri for a few more days,but Yuri is persistent. He keeps inviting Otabek to sleep over, until Otabekagrees.

“Are you sure you want to deal with it?” Otabek says.

“Yes,” Yuri assures. He’s willing to deal with ashit-ton of nightmares if it means he gets to fall asleep and wake up next toOtabek. “I mean, we’re in this together, right? You and me?”

Otabek stares at him for a moment, then his expressionmelts into a smile. “Yeah,” he breathes. “I guess we are. You and me.” It’s thefirst time they have talked about themas an entity, and the thought makes Yuri smile.

“So, how can I help?” Yuri asks, when they’re gettingready for bed.

“I suggest you back off when it happens,” Otabek saysin a resigned tone. “Otherwise I might end up smacking you in the face, andthat’s the last thing I want to happen.”

The night is calm, though. Yuri is almost surprisedwhen they wake up the following morning and there hasn’t been an episode in themiddle of the night.

“Don’t get too used to it,” Otabek warns. “They willcome back. They always do.”

Otabek talks about his nightmares like they’re realpeople who are out to get him.

The next few times it happens, Yuri wakes Otabek up bycalling his name, staying a short distance away until Otabek blinks,disoriented. It usually takes a while for things to calm down, and Yuri feelsso helpless, watching Otabek face enemies Yuri can’t help him battle.

Otabek tries to keep it his problem, always insistingon Yuri going back to sleep even while his muscles are still trembling in thewake of a nightmare. He always seems reclusive after an episode, and it takesYuri a while to realize it’s because he doesn’t want Yuri to get involved inthe process.

Yuri understands in a sudden pang of gut-wrenchingsadness, that Otabek tries to deal with it by himself, in case Yuri goes away.

The thing is, Yuri is not planning on going anywhere,so he starts to move in to hug Otabek as soon as he’s awake. Otabek resists thecloseness at first, getting up and going to the bathroom, but Yuri is nothingif not persistent.

So when it happens once again, Yuri is prepared. Inthe short span of time when Otabek has stopped tossing but hasn’t quiteregistered he’s awake, Yuri slides close and hugs Otabek to his chest. Otabekis still disoriented enough so he doesn’t pull away from the touch.

“Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore. I’mhere,” Yuri mutters, stroking his fingers through Otabek’s hair. “I’m here,they can’t get to you.”

Otabek blinks as if through a haze, then makes acontent noise and relaxes into the touch. His body stops trembling and slumpsdown, and a moment later Yuri realizes he’s fallen back to sleep with his headresting on Yuri’s chest.

Yuri spends the rest of the night cradling Otabek inhis arms, listening to his even breathing. In the dim light of the bedroom, hewatches Otabek’s features, relaxed in calm sleep. He hopes some day Otabek willtell him if there is a cause, a reason behind the nightmares. Perhaps he canhelp.

Yuri doubts he can completely relieve Otabek from hisnightmares, but maybe he can ease Otabek’s pain a bit. One night at a time.Every night if he has to.

#drabble challenge ficlets #otayuri #otabek altin #yuri plisetsky #hurt/comfort #sadie writes fic

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