#and I got horrendously depressed

[cherubchoirs]

Michael, the Ruined Prince

Michael, having used all of his power to seek out God, had failed as the Prince of Heaven. He had abandoned his people, absent for centuries on a fruitless search filled with unheard, increasingly desperate prayers and an unrelenting, bone-deep exhaustion that is now permanent. His grief grew day by day, and an angel in isolation begins to wither, to warp – they must be with one another lest they twist into their extremes, retreating into their divine purpose until it becomes self-destructive parody. And Michael had already been scarred long ago by his role in banishing Lucifer, by God’s own ever-mounting wrath that ate away at the mercy he was meant to feel alongside it. Michael had already been insular, something had already pulled at the seams of his soul, and now centuries of failure consume him. He would return to Heaven with nothing for his people. Nothing for the siblings he swore to protect.

So his final thought in a deeply troubled mind urged him to try one last time. That if he could not find God, then he must bring God to himself. He must sin, he must beg for punishment, and then God will come to deliver it onto him. Just as He once did to Lucifer. It disgusted him, to think he had to debase himself to be as the sinners he held nothing but vile contempt for ever since he couldn’t cope with the guilt of the first fallen angels. But his prayers have failed, his days of weeping have failed, he moved Heaven, Earth, and all of Hell to come up with empty hands. Less than that. Not even a feeling. So Michael, even as a Cherub who could not, did everything he could to replicate his memories of when he had witnessed God Himself tear the light from His angels. Michael had seen it every time, it was he that had to bind any fallen angel that survived it to their place in Hell. He knew, implicitly, what the ritual was even if God seemed to enact it in one beautiful, elegant motion. And he did just that. Imperfect pantomiming, flawed execution, but the same ritual as best as Michael could copy it. All to himself.

But only God and the high Seraphim can sever an angel from their light.

His soul was rent from his body. His light was torn to shreds by his inexperienced hands. The agony that it screeched resounded all the way back to Heaven in unintelligible, muted whispers of nauseous grief no one could understand. Michael felt himself die, but it was incomplete. He was left in a corpse, a body destroyed and succumbing to all it meant but with him still inside of it. God did not come, and Michael was trapped a ruined body, bereft of a soul, of his light, giving way to rot and deterioration yet fully functional. He could do nothing but take this as a sign from God, one that he will not be punished no matter his crime for being such a loyal servant. Even as his body falls apart, as plants begin to burst from his remains, he believes himself to be blessed – see how he grows God’s garden. See how his crown remains pristine. He adorns his exposed bones with gems and finery, ostensibly as thanks to God for keeping him alive, keeping him sinless when he had so despised his impending fall from grace. But. Michael is, in the back of his mind, highly aware of what he’s become. He knows he is rotting, he knows he is in a dead body, he knows, somewhere, God had nothing to do with it. It was just a mistake, it was just his own foolishness with catastrophic consequence. He is more noxious than a fallen angel now, a botch job shambling numbly back to Heaven when he feels the death of Gabriel.

Upon his return, he largely attempts to hide the rot of his body, at least from the citizenry – he cannot hide it from Raphael or Uriel, nor does he try. To Michael, it proves his devotion, it shows God’s still present love for him, and it is a testimony to how he cannot fall, that he can never lose his place in Heaven. Raphael begs for him to be healed, Uriel pleads reason to him, but neither had ever been as strong as Michael and ultimately, he is their leader. No matter the state he returns in, he is the Prince of the Archangels and truthfully...they both fear him now. He is not the Michael they loved, not the one that had been quiet and stoic yet still loving in return. The Michael that would have done anything for them, that never wanted to lose another like he lost Lucifer. He commands them now to join him in binding Gabriel, his tangible grief the only thing that seems to be left of who he had once been.

Internally, Michael sees their fear, he feels the crushing guilt of Gabriel’s fall, he is violently ill with one true look at himself. He had gone wrong a long, long time ago, when he lost Lucifer, and now all of that was being made manifest, but he can’t face it. As flesh falls away, he covers it more and more with jewels as if that could hide the decay he can feel spreading night and day, the only thing he feels now. He must retreat into his purpose, he must not allow such devastating failure to be his legacy. So he turns on Gabriel. Gabriel, whose light had been severed. Who walks freely in an abandoned Hell. Who still has a living, breathing body. Michael’s vitriol toward the damned hones in on Gabriel, consumed with being sure he is left nailed to the lowest pit in Hell for his treachery. All the love he once had turns to hatred and in it, the other three can see that Michael has been left shattered, that nothing in him truly believes God made him this way. God’s most loyal, left to rot.

Additional information:

Michael now always exudes the Odor of Sanctity, but there is a distinct undertone of mold to it

The opalescent webbing that runs through his body is the angelic brain - normally it is iridescent and transparent with a strange glow, but Michael's is opaque and dull

Michael now prefers walking, something noted as unusual when he returned to Heaven, but it's simply due to the fact that his body has been left entirely numb and so it's difficult to maneuver in the air properly

He is very protective of his crown and dragon-skin bag, as they seem to be the only things left uncorrupted on him

[mereelskirata]

Me by the end of October:

[tleeaves]

THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME AND MORE OMFG I LOVE IT

I am utterly captivated by this video series that Taryn Delanie and friends have been making on TikTok

[queercatboyrights]

totally not me having one of the shittiest mental health crisis known to man for like, the last week

[littlestarprincess]

#humans don't even talk about our pheromones that's probably weird to other species

Humans don't even realize how extensive our scent based communication is.

Sexual arousal can change the chemistry of our breath within seconds (both with onset of arousal and like. Offset? Do you call it offset???); anxiety and depression both have distinct smells (know someone who regularly smells sour and disgusting despite looking clean? They might not be doing so hot mentally! DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH SMELLING GROSS WHEN YOU'RE FRESH OUT OF THE SHOWER?? It might be your mental health rather than something inherently wrong with you or your body!) and babies secrete a scent on the tops of their heads that is what new moms are talking about when they can't get enough of smelling their kids heads. That new baby smell is literally there to encourage caretaking.

Pheromones are not even just a sexual thing. They permeate our day to day lives, and humans have no fucking idea how much information they're picking up on other humans through smell because so much of these scents are like . . . invisible to our conscious minds.

Okay so hear me out. Alien who is very close with their human crewmate, and is used to you smelling like the various products humans use for personal hygiene. This is perfectly fine, maybe they even grow an attachment to your preferred brands of deodorant and lotion, but it leaves them completely unprepared the first time they smell your unmasked body odor and realize oh yeah, humans are very sexual creatures and produce pheromones accordingly. It's the alien equivalent of seeing someone you already like half-naked and having an "Oh no they're hot" moment, except you don't even realize the effect you're having on them because you just got done training or woke up from a very sweaty nap and just want to shower.

[plutoasteroids]

PAC How Will Your Future Spouse View You

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

DISCLAIMER THIS IS A GENERAL READING TAKE WHAT RESONATES AND LEAVE WHAT DOESN'T.

Strictly for entertainment purposes.

PILE 1

So, before I get into the tarot bit of the reading the overall vibe I am getting is that you and your future spouse will be that couple that are still doing cute stuff together even in old age. You know those older couples you see on TikTok on dates still happy and very much in love, yeah like that. One word I can use to describe it is cozy, just very warm and affectionate basically feeling like this person is your home. It's going to be like 'I'd rather come home to you then be anywhere else'.

On to the tarot bit, Your FS sees you as someone very confident and optimistic (even if you don't see yourself that way). They see you as being positive and very wholesome. Again, before I pulled cards I channelled and I still got the warmth.

Oh my gosh, if any of you have read The Song of Achilles that's basically it. Before anyone points out to me they were a same sex couple .Yes, I know but I am talking about the relationship dynamic between Patroclus and Achilles.

You may have gone through a difficult time in your life and your future spouse will admire how strong and resilient you are, how you're able to adapt to challenges and changes in environment. You may be the type of person who is connected to both their divine feminine and masculine and they truly find that attractive.

They certainly view you as their other half and I know its cliche to say soulmate but that's all your future spouse is saying. You just give them so much happiness and emotional fulfilment.

'They are my home, my soulmate, my forever'

PILE 2

Ugh Pile 2 your spouse will literally worship you😩. Like you'll tell them your insecurities and they'll just sit there kissing every scar, mark, dimple anything you're insecure about they'll adore. If you're a female or a feminine reading this and you have thick thighs I heard them say 'Come here and crush my skull with those sexy thighs'. Whoever you are you have someone's poor child down horrendous for you.

I think they may be the type to just watch your social media whether you are getting to know each other, dating, engaged or married your social media pages, pictures and videos will always be on their phone screen and they won't go to sleep without listening to a little voice message you sent. Once they get attached baby there's absolutely no getting rid of them, I heard 'You'll have an easier time getting rid of bed bugs'.

When you meet them, they may be a party animal or a player.

Disclaimer it's not toxic obsession more like they will let you be your own person but at the end of the day they are yours and you are theirs, you are their spouse, and they are your spouse and they will forever put you on a pedestal not to the open where they will neglect themselves.

They see you as a prize (again not in a creepy way) You may have options when you meet this person but best believe they'll make sure to stand out and win you over. They see you as the best the world has to offer in terms of what a wife/husband/spouse should be. Your person may have had a few letdowns when it came to love and just know that they see you as a dream come true and again, I know that's very cliche but trust me when Isay they view having you as a spouse as their biggest accomplishment and they want you to know that they'll prove to you every day they are worthy to call themselves your spouse. They feel like you have gone through a period of depression and sadness, and they want you to know that they acknowledge it and they see you as strong every day.

The couple I channelled for you guys is Queen Charlotte and King George from Bridgerton.

PILE 3

First thing I heard 'Sugar Daddy'. This person will spoil you but love you even more. Yes, they may have money and give you gifts but this person truly does love you, care about you and respect you.

They may be older than you that's why people may think that they are your glucose guardian which is not technically wrong and not technically correct either. I feel like that will be a long term joke you two have about them being your sucrose supplier..

They will definitely view you as delicate, I want to say that they are the protective type but not protective to the point of you feeling suffocated by them. They want you to be comfortable and have what you like 'If my spouse wants that watch I'll get it for them'.

They will view you as fun loving, yet you have this air of power to you that they love. Sure, they view you as delicate and they want to protect you, but they also view you as strong and beyond capable of taking care of yourself and those around you basically your spouse is saying 'they want me, but they don't need me'. They know that you can walk away from them anytime and they like that you're always in your power no matter what.

Your spouse admires how you don't need them to feel whole or for financial gain they see you as a breath of fresh air, a change of pace, an adventure.

He may touch you a lot with your consent obviously, like a hand on your waist, shoulder or they may steal little quick kisses. Also, there may be a lot of friendly banter in the relationship.

The couple I channel for you guys is Fallon and Liam from Dynasty.

[kopilot-pop]

[Tired] pt.2

- Le Sserafim x 6thMember!Reader

Summary: After a harsh criticism from one of your teachers, you started to fall into a bad habit again. You started staying overnight at the company, your knees are always bruised, and you probably shouldn’t have 3 cans of Redbull everyday… Thankfully, your bandmates have easily recognized your behaviors and decided to put it to an end.

Warnings: overworking, self-hate, depression, suicidal intentions (very minor), fainting, hospital, needles,

a/n: sorry for the long wait. This is a bit shorter than I expected, but I hope you guys still enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The horrendous amount of caffeine started to take a toll on you.

During one of the last practices for your comeback, Chaewon stared at you worriedly.

But you were too busy staring at your shaky hands to notice.

After chugging another can of Redbull, you finished the practice and finally turned on your phone. Several missed calls and notifications from your group’s chatroom covered your phone.

You didn’t have the energy to care.

You fell asleep on the couch in the practice room.

You have a comeback tomorrow after all.

-----

Furious is an understatement.

Chaewon is absolutely mad.

The 6 of you gathered at the studio for Music Bank on the day of the comeback. While getting ready with makeup and outfits, you could tell the girls wanted to talk to you but were too busy to.

When you all finally got up to the stage, the jittery feeling became more intense. As the second verse started your stomach started to churn, your throat closed up - you almost missed your lines-

and once again you couldn’t stop staring at your shaky hands with bloodshot eyes.

Until you froze.

Your eyes met Zuha’s. And you watched in slow motion as she ran towards you, barely catching your body before it hit the ground, and the spotlight in front of your eyes shut down.

-----

“…..ays-… y..… med…-”

You finally woke up with a pounding inside your head.

The moment you could blur out the bright light above your head, you could see Sakura’s face and feel the cool cloth on yours.

She was carefully wiping away the sweat on your head and quickly noticed your eyes open.

“Y/n! How are you feeling?”

At the same time, you could hear a loud crash on the other side of the room.

“Y/n unnie woke up?!”

“Y/N ARE YOU OKAY-”

“G..guys… calm down..”

The three younger girls ran up to you, seeming to have been lounging on the couch together.

Eunchae, with teary eyes, pulled you into a tight hug.

“Hey! She’s not stable yet!! Don’t push her around!!”

Your leader walked through the doors to pull down the three puppies from you.

“Thanks..”

After a few moments of awkward silence, Chaewon finally started.

“You passed out on stage Y/n.”

“Chaewon, don’t be too harsh.” Sakura tried her best to keep the situation calm.

“I know unnie- Y/n. You fainted due to malnutrition. When’s the last time you ate anything?”

“…I’m not sure..”

“Of course you’re not sure. The only thing you’ve been putting inside your body was energy drinks-”

“Unnie..”

“No- We were all thinking so I’m just gonna say it- We thought you were gonna die Y/n.”

She said it so matter-of-factly that you could almost laugh. Almost.

“Why would y-”

“You were barely home, working like a slave every fucking day, starving, and depending on pain meds- so yeah, OF COURSE WE THOUGHT THE WORSE!!”

You finally gained the courage to look up at her teary eyes.

“Do you understand the amount of fear I felt when I saw you drop to the ground yesterday?! How terrified we felt when you didn’t wake up when Yunjin screamed your name?!!”

“I-..”

“Kazuha carried you to the hospital because she was too scared that something might happen to you if she let go!! Can you even imagine being that scared?!”

You looked down at your lap, fiddling with the needle(IV drip) inside your hand. Sakura gently held your hand to stop you.

“That’s enough Chaewon.” She said.

She’s never stern, but this time she was. Sakura gave you this look, something just like the one your mother always gave you.

Worried, angry, but somehow warm.

“We were scared Y/n.. More than the fainting, I was scared of losing you just like last time…”

Last time? Oh yeah. You almost killed yourself during debut.

“We care about you. You know that. All 5 of us love and cherish you, sometimes even more than anybody else in the world. And watching you slowly fade away like that just…”

She started to choke up. It was rare to see her like that, so you instinctively shot out to pull her into a hug.

Holding onto you, as you might just fade away, Sakura softly sobbed into your shoulder.

When you felt another weight on your back, you turned around to see the youngest also snuggling into you. Probably the person you mostly didn't want to catch you in such a depressing state.

"I...I'm sorr-"

Yunjin, with the same teary face all the others choked out;

"It's not your fault."

She slid next to the edge of the bed, gently holding onto Sakura's hand right on top of yours.

"I wanted to be better. Good enough to stand by you guys. I just wanted to-" You felt the tears finally fall free from your eyes as Chaewon with the same frown (albeit a bit softer) held your face.

Gentle. God, they were all so gentle with you.

"You are. You are good enough. You are good."

Watching you sob out, Kazuha finally joined into the pile, right next to Yunjin as she dries your tears with her old sweater sleeves.

You let out another ugly cry as you feel the 5 girls' warmth trap you. You forgot that you were good enough. You forgot how loved you were.

But just like always, they were there to remind you once again.

"You're loved Y/n. By us, always."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[maxphilippa]

i need people to focus on the other stuff on the episode that isn't taco/mepad like yes i get it they're the main thing but there's also so much shit going on aside from them?????? knife literally became a protector and left his "jerk" persona behind and we got confirmation that he did it because of mic (he genuinely cares about her + changed for her). suitcase and baseball went through an genuinely horrid moment for their friendship despite the fact that they were working on it in episode 14. suitcase genuinely wants to talk about everything with bb and bb fully knows he wants to focus on suitcase. lightbulb recognized her mental health was terrible (which is a big achievement for you know, a severely depressed woman who struggled HORRENDOUSLY with toxic positivity) + the closure of her arc ended with the phrase of "we're proud of you, no matter what". HELL steve cobs was once again showed and it was literally just heavily implied that he might be the big plot point on the next ep. mephone4 went back to being horrid because he's still scared of everything even though he's motivated to fix things now. microphone is shown to be on a safe and happy enviroment. mic and pickle are friends. like so much shit happened on the ep why are you guys only focussing on taco like i get it she's the star of it but also a LOT of important shit happened aside of her????

[vanillaanillav]

Something I’ve been thinking about is that Till and Ivan knew from as soon as they got the layout of the bracket that they would end up against each other. And while we know what Ivan’s plan was—he would likely throw their match—what the hell was Till thinking? Was he trying not to think about it? His focus in the first round was to confess to Mizi, but he also Very forcefully ensured his success by pulling the rug out from under his opponent. 

Of course they both knew Ivan would win his match. Did Till think he had a chance, or did he think he’d lose? Before Mizi went missing and he suddenly got super popular, was he planning to give his all? I imagine he must have been. Maybe justifying it with the idea that Ivan would win anyway, so he’d go out with a bang, as was his pre-depression philosophy. 

There’s still so much we don’t know about Till’s feelings about Ivan—I think a purposeful move from the creators. I know they chose specifically to make Ivan’s feelings unrequited to contrast Mizisua, but they were friends! And if not friends anymore, there was some sense of comfort and familiarity in just knowing each other. Till acted aggressively to Ivan, but all in reaction to what he thought was intentional provocation (see: cheer up comic). And despite that, he let him follow him around.

In the scene where Ivan touches the cut on his face, he initially reacts aggressively and then sees that it’s Ivan and… calms down? Or gives up? It’s bizarre, I don’t think he’s scared of Ivan exactly, but in these tiny windows we see into how he feels about him, it’s very mixed. I wonder if he feels guilty about turning back when they were kids. Or he doesn’t know how to process Ivan’s attention or what to do about it. 

It should be clear that Ivan is like, embarrassingly horrendously terribly in love with him, but when Ivan kisses him he’s SO shocked. He pulls away, but after the second kiss he looks like he starts to realize that like, oh, this is for real, and there’s just a tiny moment of that before he thinks Ivan is trying to kill him and he gives up. 

There’s something to be said about how he just accepts that Ivan is trying to kill him after he kisses him. After going through what he went through with the aliens—there’s the split second of confused realization, and then he accepts it as just someone else taking something from him, violence and physical intimacy irreparably intertwined. 

I wonder what he thinks when Ivan gives him that last small kiss. If he took the other kisses, this one he gave, this one a gift, a tiny reassurance. I wonder what he thinks after all of it—it’s so much to process in such a short time. I would pay a hundred million dollars to know his thought process in that moment like holy shit man. 

Also, in relation to Ivan’s dislike of Sua and then his later hypocritical sacrifice, a lot of people have talked about how he wasn’t being a hypocrite because she was leaving behind a lover and he was leaving behind the object of his affection, not someone with a mutual feeling. And I think that’s true. I imagine he knew he was going to do the same thing as her and lashed out partly as a kind of projection. Partly out of jealousy that she Had a lover to leave behind, while he thought Till wouldn’t really care about his death.

But I also think (based on the Stage 6 comic) that he gets a brief moment of clarity at the very end where he realizes that their situations aren’t so dissimilar after all, hence the “I shouldn’t have been so hard on her.” He really cocooned himself in the idea that Till didn’t care and would never care, in a way where it almost became comforting to him. But, in those final seconds, after choosing to be selfish with the kiss and then be selfless with his sacrifice, he did realize that Till will be affected by this. Hence, thanking him for being the victim of his fragile feelings. 

It’s such a sad idea… only being willing to contend with the possibility that someone cares about you in some capacity when you’ve already made your exit. It’s cowardly and I think he knows that, but I also think it’s part of that final indulgence he takes. He gets to kiss Till and gets to avoid a world without him. Till gets to live. It’s hard to say which is the better path.

[valley-of-headcanons]

Could you write some headcanons for Sebastian comforting his spouse who has anxiety and depression stemming from a less-than-stellar upbringing? I tend to need assurance people aren't mad at me and I avoid conflict cuz it tends to make me cry. Got to wondering how he'd handle all that lol.

rest your head, love || sebastian x farmer oneshot

after getting into an argument with haley, anxiety courses through your veins. but, sebastian is always here to help you through it <3

warnings: reader fights with haley (sorry haley lovers 🙏), hints towards abusive parenting but nothing outright described. nothing too dark, simply a comfort fic :)

requested by: anon! hi, i'm so sorry this took so long to come out! another one requested before my unannounced hiatus 💀 anyway! i love this request, this is probably one of my favorite things to write about, i love comfort fics 🙏 thank you so so so much for the request! also changing this into a fic because i believe the format would be easier :)

Stepping through the doors of your home, the expression on your face showed that you're absolutely defeated. Your demeanor was clouded by anxiety, and Sebastian could tell. As he rose from his computer and walked closer to you, he wore a worried expression. “Love, are you doing okay ...?”

You softly shook your head, sitting down on the bed and staring off into space. “I-I ... I got into an argument- ... with Haley. And ... I just feel like I ca- can't really breathe, y'know ...?” you stuttered out, putting your shaking palms against your face.

Sebastian sat down beside you and rested a hand on your back, rubbing circles with his thumb. “You can't take anything Haley says seriously, she's just insecure. She's just a bitch,” he mumbled to you, although it didn't seem to help. He knew that this was deeper than Haley, it was something much deeper.

Kissing your temple, Sebastian softly took your hands in his. “Hey, I want you to listen to my voice. Exit your mind, it's too dark of a place to be in right now. Would you like to sit in my lap?” he asked in the softest voice he could, offering his comfort.

As you crawled into his lap and wrapped your legs around his waist, you felt his arms caress your back. Tears started flowing from your eyes and you buried yourself in the crook of his neck. “I-I just hate arguing, and she said- she said so many things that I-I've heard too many times before and- I thought that I got away from it all! I'm just so- ... I'm upset and I can't help it ...”

Sebastian removed his hands from your back and cupped your face, wiping the gentle tears from your cheeks. “It's okay. You are away from it, I promise. Nothing's gonna hurt you here, not even Haley. You're none of the things Haley said, not a single one of them, do you hear me?”

You gave a silent nod, leaning into his hand. “... not even when she said I was annoying? Or boring? Or- ... anything?” you said, attempting to take deep breaths between your shuddered exhales.

“Yes, dear. You're none of those things. You're not annoying, why else would I even be here? You're not boring, you actually interest me more than any of the people in the town. You actually have a personality, you don't seem as 2D as everyone else ... you're everything to me, so please don't think stupid things like that. The people who say stupid things like that just don't get it. Now relax, let me take your mind off of it for a little while,” Sebastian said in a stern yet comforting tone. He held you tight to his chest, rubbing your back while he rocked softly.

He knew all about your past. He knew the horrendous things that you've witnessed, you've heard, you've felt. He was hellbent on mending that part of you, even if it meant a small bit at a time. He'd stay up all night with you if you needed, but you had fallen asleep in his lap soon after you felt safe enough to. He laid back on the bed, pulling you close and wrapping the cover around you both. He could finish his work tomorrow, nothing could beat these soft moments with you.

Pressing another soft kiss to your temple, he whispered to you. “Goodnight love, rest your pretty head,” he muttered, before closing his own eyes. He slept soundly next to you, holding you close the entire night. Nothing could beat this.

[rebtr1bution]

"little" rant

thinking about how much potential dylan (klebold) had genuinely pisses me off. i can't read his diary anymore without wanting to punch my monitor in.

dylan wasn't cruel - at the end of his life he was, he took innocent lives and created a tragedy that even today people cannot get over nor understand fully, but that wasn't who he was. this was the same boy who took over his friends (erics) shift at work when his dog was sick and wanted to spend time with him, this was the boy who cried when one of his cats got loose due to fearing that the cat would die, this was the boy who struggled with depression, and ultimately the depression took his life. while some people may argue that, to do what dylan did, you have to be cruel, i don't agree. not in the slightest. i think to do what dylan did, you have to be battling mental illnesses that go unchecked because being a man in the 90s meant to be strong. to not let your emotions best you, and when you got bullied you were to put your head down and continue on. people nowadays have normalized speaking out about your mental health, to get help, and this is great! but also, it makes looking back on tragedies such as this hard, because our first question would be: "well, why didn't they just get help?" while they could've, 90s culture was still very much shameful of mental health, especially in men. it's still a problem to this day. and, actually, eric had gotten help - he had seen a therapist and had gotten perscribed Luvox to help. but it didn't work. infact, this medication is now known to increase suicidal/homicidal thoughts and increase depression. back onto my point, dylan wasn't "the monster next door", he was a kid struggling with mental health. he was a kid who was horrendously shy. he was a kid who was lead astray by a toxic mix of his own dark thoughts, parents who weren't aware how bad mental health could really be, a toxic culture at his school, and access to guns and pipe bombs. i feel as though if dylan had gotten proper help, he could've gone on to do great things - he was incredibly smart, getting into a program for gifted students when he was young smart. sue (klebold) has even admitted that she should've been more aware of mental health (or "brain health" as she likes to call it) while raising dylan and byron. while sue isn't to blame for what went on, i think that her parenting style certainly played a part into why dylans mental health got to the point where it was. sue mostly focused on getting byron help during the time dylan Really needed it, and when the van break in happened, sue gave dylan the choice on whether or not he needed therapy - obviously, he said no. i think that she gave dylan too much freedom and trusted him way too much on things that mattered, like therapy for an example. but, there's no perfect way to parent, and i am in no way whatsoever trying to say that sue was responsible for what dylan did!! i will close off by saying, while dylan definitely had potential and Needed help, and it pisses me off that he didn't get help, i am no way condoning what he did nor saying that he was "justified" in any way. he was struggling, sure, but he shouldn't have taken it out on innocent people. i am also in NO WAY supporting the "dylan was a follower" theory, i think it's fucking bullshit and eric and dylan both "followed" each other - i think their friendship was more codependent, and they hyped each other up to the point of no return. they are both at fault for what happened that day, and should both be held accountable to the same levels. thank you for reading if you've gotten this far!!! sorry i yapped so much i was expecting this to be WAY shorter lolol

[somewhereincairparavel]

hiii, can you pleasee do a rivals to lovers jason grace x daughter of thanatos 😫😫😫😫😫

ghost girl x golden boy!

warnings: slightly ooc platonic nico, the reader has no social skills and kinda fumbles but it works out rlly well in the end <3 I enjoyed writing this a lot more than necessary lol

jason grace x daughter of thanatos!

you and jason always butt heads. it was no secret, everyone knew. the feelings of rivalry and hostility initially only came from your side. As the daughter of thanatos, you naturally pulled away from sunshine-y personalities. You convinced yourself that it was because you hated seeing people so cheery and annoyingly bright. But, it was because you were convinced that if anyone even remotely bubbly stood next to you, they would lose their light. but that was only part the reason, the other half was simply because you enjoyed seeing the sunshine-y jason get riled up only because of you.

You'll admit that you had a slightly sadistic pleasure in seeing that boy angry.being cold rivals with jason was rare, jason never actually disliked anyone from camp.

Hell, he didn't even ‘hate’ octavian, he just avoided him because they wouldn't get along but never actually cared much about fighting with him, since octavian was a lost cause. so the fact that you were one of the unusual ones to be able to get on his generally calm nerves really intrigued people. Heck. It even intrigued jason sometimes. Well, that was when he actually tried being nice to you, after your regular episodes of horrendous uncalled for attitude towards him, the mere mention of your name would have his icy blue ices hardening.

In the initial time he tried being nice to you, hoping that he could form a friendship with you like he did nico, you would harshly push him away, glare at him for no reason, and comment on his insecurities as insults, hoping that it would drive him away from you. Nothing worked apart from the insecurity jab that got so far one day that it was successful enough to hurt him after the constant insults getting hurled his way. One has their limits. Even nico wasn't as mean to jason initially as you were, so jason begun to genuinely dislike you, which was well deserved on your part, in your opinion.

Now during camp meetings, you two would always argue over the silliest things, like cabin renovations. You would start the fight, obviously. Jason tried to avoid you, like he did with octavian, but he couldn't, since you always ignited the disputes. So he chose to get into spats with you. And only then, did you realize that you were mistaken about jason being ‘sunshine-y’. He was actually quite sarcastic and sharp tongued when he wanted to be. You’ll admit, you were quite taken aback by the blunt and annoyingly witty responses you got whenever you argued. alright fine. you were starting to find this newfound trait of his, insanely attractive. which was secretly the reason why you chose to pick fights with him almost every day. you wanted to see that side of him more.

You were training when you saw the blonde boy at a distance, in the nymph gardens.. laughing… with a girl?... oh.As the golden boy of both the camps, it wasn't uncommon for him to be asked out by people left and right. he would politely decline all of them with a sympathetic smile. But you never actually saw him being all over-cheery with one of them, which was probably why you never bothered being envious, until now. It did NOT help that the girl was so ethereal.

“seriously y/n? you were being mean to him because you found him hot when he's mad? you're hopeless.” nico rolled his eyes as he painted his nails in a depressing shade of dark gray. “you don't get it Di Angelo. we'd never be a thing, I swear he doesn't even want to look at my direction.”“yeah, and I wonder who's fault is that. Yknow you could've at least let him befriend you when you had the chance. That boy tried HARD for months. you could've taken it slowly and somehow you wouldn't be here, moping like this” nico grumbled.It was understandable why nico was annoyed. One, because you were, indeed stupid, and two, jason is one of his closest friends, so you being rude to jason all these months kinda bothered nico more than he let on.

“Look. I'm the kid of the god of darkness. I'm basically a walking grim reaper, I'd have had no chance with Mr golden boy, who has such a high reputation with gorgeous people lining up for him to date. So it's not like I'd have stood a chance even if I'm on talking terms with him” you said miserably, realizing how stupid you sounded. nico was right. you screwed things over with jason because of self hatred and doubt, and now the realization only hit after you saw him being with other people. mission failed successfully.

“woah okay. you sound just like me when I used to talk about will. I know I'm like.. the last person who should talk about self love and acceptance. But, we were wrong about ourselves, y/n. us being the kids of darkness doesn't mean we're not worthy of love. I was the one who asked will out, not thinking he'd accept, but look how that turned out. Our biggest sabotagers are ourselves.”

“you recycled will's sappy poetry lines to come up with this one, didn't you?” you expected nico to look offended, but he smiled slyly.

“yep. and it works like a charm, everytime.” He replied, before his face contorted to disgust. “but ew, I don't know how Apollo kids do it, I had to sacrifice my dignity and ‘mysterious’ reputation to give you sappy self help encouragement that I am equally bad at myself. Don't make me do it again. ever. and not a word to will” he said, shooting you a death glare.

This had you genuinely break down laughing.

Here you were, in your depressing cabin. so, because of nico’s erm.. insightful advice. you plucked up the courage to go to jason’s cabin. it was empty, so you grumpily chose to leave, that is, until something caught your eye.his glasses were on his bedside table. Typical jason. Too busy to even notice that he forgot his glasses before running off for camp duties.without even thinking, you picked them up, and dashed to your room before his admirers came into his cabin to leave him love letters or something like that, which happens on a daily basis.Soon enough. You heard aggressive knocking on your cabins door.

You opened up, only to see the son of jupiter glaring back at you icily. He thrust his palm out and said angrily, “hand them over.” “Hand what over?” You asked, feigning innocence.

“You know what.” He shot back coldly You took the glasses out of your pocket.

“Looking for this?” Jason stared back at you with a stoney expression. Which, you admittedly found more cute than scary, because you were used to seeing it all the time.“okay look.. I'll give it back to you… if you listen to what I have to say first..” you begun slowly. It was either now or never. I mean, what's the worst that could happen right? gods of olympus, nico's sappy advice transmitted through will to you was really starting to have an effect.

jason’s expression was now filled with a mix of confusion, confliction and irritation, before he curtly replied. “just get it over with. my head aches, from both talking to you, and not wearing my glasses.”

He raises his eyebrows as you gazed into his icy, calculating eyes, eyes that would mirror the beauty of the morning sky around other people, but would go back to being cool around you.

“I am sorry. for everything. for being mean to you when you never even deserved it. for pushing away your advances when you tried forming a connection with me, and just ruining your already stressful days by arguing with you. I-” you stopped for a few seconds trying to collect your thoughts, so you formulate your words correctly so you don't fumble before you said the next few words.

You took a peak at jason's expression, and his previously icy expression starting melting into shock.“I only did all that because I didn't know any other way to hold a proper conversation with you. Irritating people is the only time where I don't turn into a nervous, bumbling mess of a person. It's the only time where I sound cocky and confident, even though I'm just a pool of darkness and grim energy that nobody wants to be around with. I guess what I'm trying to say in this roundabout way is that I like you, Grace.”

Your face turned bright red before you even bothered gauging his reaction, so out of instinct, you thrust the glasses into his still open palm, and half slammed the door in his face out of embarrassment. But jason held the door with his hands before they could fully close.

He stepped inside.

shit.

You turned around abruptly, ready to shadow travel yourself out of this mess, but jason caught your arm, turning you around and gently tugging on your hand to prevent you from going anywhere.

“look at me.” he said you shook your head stubbornly while keeping your eyes shut.

“fine.”

A few seconds later, you felt his lips on your nose, and eye lids.That shocked you enough to get you to open your eyes. you found him slightly grinning at you.

“what-”

“Y'know, if you wanted to go on a date with me so bad, you could've just told me, instead of being such a headache all these months, we would've been a couple a long time ago” he said, still smiling amusedly at your expression.

“you like me too?” you asked, unable to comprehend the abrupt change of atmosphere or the smile he was directing at you.

“um.. yes? why else do you think I wanted to get to know you so bad a few months earlier? It was you who chose to give me the attitude and attempt to drive me away, making me return the sentiment.”

“But how could you like.. me? when you have so many pretty and kind people lined up to date you, like the brunette you were laughing with in the garden, was that a demeter kid, by the way?”

jason stared at you for a few seconds before chuckling. You literally never heard him laugh like that in front on you.“oh her? she's one of thalia’s acquaintances from camp, she told me that thalia's birthday was coming up soon and gave me ideas on what I should give her, she didn't confess to me, y/n..”

oh.

“and even if anyone did ever confess, i would've turned them down. because, you're the only person I enjoy arguing and debating with. whether you realized it or not, the only reason I even bothered spending hours reciprocating your silly fights, was because I knew that's the only way you would talk to me somehow. so, we're even after all, ghost girl” he said smiling slyly, before he pulled you in for a long kiss, your hands on his face and all.

that's how Nico Di Angelo, the most unlikely person to ever give love advice, actually ended up being your final nudge. dam him and will's sappy poetry.

[zelphin124]

Dust x YN Short Story

You simps... this is the result of this poll.

Uh, yeah... Here we go I guess.

THIS IS YOUR FAULT @kuuuuro YOU BIAS LIL NUGGET /lh

I swear I have motivation somewhere-

~o0o~

Twenty weeks.

You started to lose count of the days as you circled your cell. The sun was setting again, so your evening meal would arrive soon.

Nightmare had kidnapped you not so long ago. All you could gather was you were being used as a bargaining chip. If your friends didn't make enough negative energy in your AU, you would die.

Depression would be achieved either way.

You heard tales of the negative king. You know that he had a brother who was the positive opposite of him, you also heard fantasies of him having a soft spot for people, wanting to just have a time of rest.

None of those were true at all.

He was the definition of evil. He was cruel and treated everyone poorly to feed off it. He didn't care about anyone, not even his own employees, who were the ones that brought you food. He laughed in the face of requests and always got what he wanted, one way or another, often making others kill for him.

This led your train of thought to the various employees. There was Killer, the smiley, toxic one. He never shut up and obeyed Nightmare like a dog. He was the one who wanted to cause you the most pain. His addiction to blood and knives didn't help with that. You found it unsettling how much black ink dripped from his eyes when he looked at you. You knew he saw you as an object, nothing more. He has threatened to do horrendous things to you to please his boss... but... he hasn't laid a hand on you yet.

Horror was the second employee. He appeared to be the polar opposite of Killer in personality but equally as unsettling. He would stare at you for long hours, his bulging red eye unwavering and not blinking. You have overheard many conversations that he wanted to save you for a meal. Whenever he was hungry, he lingered not too far from you. If it weren't for the negativity he gave off when he was unable to eat you, you were sure Nightmare would've let him already.

Then there was Murder Sans. He was the quietest, and the one who didn't say much, if at all. The entire time you've known him, he lurked in conversations and only gave off nods, shrugs, and head shakes as communication. The other two employees were terrified of him; they often talked about his LV levels and how he could kill them easily. Although all of them were murderers, he was the only one reluctant to do it again.

Especially to you.

When he came to give you food, you didn't have to cower in the corner or tell them to leave. He barely said anything to you, but he's whispered enough words to tell you his voice was rasp and aloof. His eyes never narrowed at you, and he didn't stare like the others. If you caught him staring, he would respectfully look away, going about his business. He always ensured that you got the best food and that none of it dropped before it reached you. Sometimes, he would take the food that he got and give it to you. His coworkers always said he acted weird when he saw you, but you couldn't quite tell why.

You couldn't tell anything about him, in reality.

The door to your cell opened. You pressed yourself against the damp, cold, stone bricks of your cell, the chains around your ankles clamped tight. You prayed that it wasn't Killer again; you didn't want to fake happy feelings in your heart for Nightmare to come take him away.

You couldn't tell which coworker it was until their entire body walked down the stairs. They all wore the same clothing, and the only difference they had from one another was their faces.

You saw the hooded employee holding a candle in one hand and your food in the other. You sigh in relief, the pace of your heartbeat slowing down tremendously. His red eyes glowed softly as his gaze shifted towards you. He looked more tired than usual.

"Your food," he raises it up before setting it down by your feet.

You were starving. Before he could say anything else, you gulfed down the food before him, delighting at the taste of mashed potatoes and green beans. Although you used to be picky, prison has taught you to like every form of food. Anything that Dust brought you tasted good.

He watched you eat before sitting down in front of you. You didn't notice until your food was good. Thanking him for the food, you lay back down on the paved floor, hoping that you wouldn't get back pain as you slept.

Murder traced his hands across the floor before he looked back up at you. "It's boring in here, do you wanna watch a movie?"

At first, you were confused. Did you want to watch a movie? Of course you did; anyone would take that over sitting in a cell again all night. Heck, you haven't been out of the cell in weeks, and you started to smell, let alone go crazy. You nod, telling him you wish to, but you couldn't because you were chained-

The bones that flew through the chains around your frail body shattered as bones shot up from the ground. For the first time, the weight of the metal was off your skin, setting you free. You reach down and rub your ankles and wrists, which you were unable to touch weeks before.

As you were distracted, you felt hands wrap around your waist and legs. Your eyes widen as he hoists you up into his arms and carries you out of the stall. You yelp from shock, asking him what's going on.

"I need a movie partner. Horror doesn't want to watch movies with me anymore," he explained nonchalantly. "And call me Dust, please."

You were about to ask more questions but kept your mouth shut as he carried you through the castle and up the stairs. You passed the dining room where the rest of the castle inhabitants were.

"Pass me the sauce Horror!" Killer cried.

"No, I'm using it." Horror dumped a large amount of sauce onto whatever he was eating.

"You're going to eat it all!" Killer whined.

"Both of you shut up," Nightmare twirled his food around with a fork, looking slimy as ever.

Despite being so close to your kidnappers, they did not notice you and Dust. Not even Nightmare caught a glimpse of the silent worker carrying you up toward his room, as if he had years of practice slipping away...

As he opened the door to his room, you were greeted with a heavy scent of forest pine. His windows were open and a soft breeze blew into his room. It wasn't the most tidy room, there were a few hooks and a red scarf lying across the floor. His bed was massive and faced a TV, which was on its home screen. There was little to no light besides the gaping moon outside.

Dust set you down by the bathroom door. "Shower, clean, whatever you do I guess," he scavenged through his dresser. He pulled out a hoodie and some sweatpants. "I just washed these, will these work?"

The clothes he gave you looked so comfortable, and nothing would do besides the rags you were in currently. You didn't waste time and headed into the shower, finally cleaning yourself of the prison stench you had become so accustomed to. Despite Dust's appearance, it was clear that he took good care of himself. He seemed to have a higher respect for himself than the others.

As you walk out, you barely put on the hoodie, finding Dust on his bed scrolling through different videos. He glanced you up and down and patted the bed next to him. "Do you have a movie preference?"

You inform him of one of the movies you used to watch. Dust shrugged and pulled it up on screen as you sat beside him. Although you tried to keep your distance out of respect, he pulled you closer to him and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. A single pillow was what kept you from being buried in his chest.

You felt the blood rush to your face. Why was he being so nice? You were a prisoner, yet he treated you like a comrade, if not like royalty. He offered you popcorn and watched the movie in silence, asking only two questions throughout the show. He was polite, and he made sure you had enough blankets to keep you warm, and he offered his hand to squeeze when you got scared at certain parts.

When Killer came banging on the door, Dust gestured to you to stay quiet as he changed his voice, barely talking to Killer through the door and telling him to go away. However, he seemed very tired when he sat on the bed again... and fell asleep on your lap.

At first, you panicked. What happens if someone barges through the door? If someone sees you, what will you say? Would they finally kill you?

But something else told you that there was a reason why you weren't dead yet. Perhaps Dust advocated for you and kept you alive behind your back. Perhaps he didn't want you dead. After all, he did want to watch a movie with you.

You gasp from surprise as Dust's arms wrap around you like he is hugging the most treasured thing in the world. His face was buried in your shoulder, and he breathed slowly. If you hadn't fallen for the skeleton and all the kind things he's done for you yet, you sure did now. He was so peaceful as you stroked his head, not moving so he could sleep. He was so kind to you, giving you food and finally freeing you from prison.

You couldn't figure out why but decided not to think about it as your own eyes got droopy. Despite your situation, you had no trouble falling asleep in Dust's arms.

Maybe you'll wake up from this wonderous dream.

Or maybe you'll find out that there is good in everyone after all.

[juniperdugong]

Perfection Pt.6; Rising Tides

Pairing: mortician!mingyu x corpse!fem!reader

Genre: Mortician!au, Horror!au || Fluff, Crack, Romance, Angst || Inspired by Frankenstein and other undead media

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts || Depression || Minor wounds || Mentions of death and corpses (Nothing in-depth and nothing intended to disturb) || Mentions of suicide || Necro-romance, aka romantic attraction to a corpse. || {Please let me know if there are other warnings you would like me to add}

WC: 4.1k

Songs that inspired this fic

Series Masterlist

The ride home was long and silent.

After you woke up and got your bearings Mingyu carried you to the car, he moved to drive on instinct but Wonwoo insisted that the two of you take the backseat while he drove. As confused as he was, Wonwoo could decipher Gyu's worried face from a mile away. So - at least for the moment, he was willing to put his curiosity aside for your comfort.

Gyu held your hand the entire way home, doting on every slight movement you made with a look of concern. You on the other hand were quick to drop your gaze whenever he held it. The embarrassment taking over all other emotions. Every so often you would catch Wonwoo's eyes in the rearview mirror, the look was cold.

Mingyu always wore his heart on his sleeve with you but Wonwoo was a different story - it was near impossible to tell what he was thinking by expressions alone. You wondered what he thought about the situation - you wondered what Gyu thought of the situation, your one secret was revealed within days, and danger was now at an all-time high in your mind.

While thinking about your worries, you hadn't noticed the way your hand squeezed Mingyu's so tight the entire drive, your fingers picking at his nails like a habit. He wanted to say something to soothe you - he wanted to press his lips to your fingers to ease any of your negative thoughts… But he understood if you needed time to settle after everything that had happened and he knew that he would probably be crossing a line, especially with Wonwoo practically inches away.

Wonwoo sat across from you and Gyu in the living room. The air palpable with the tension being held. The only thing cutting the thickness being the muffled sound of the TV behind Woo. It felt like some sort of trial had begun and you and Mingyu were the suspects of a horrendous crime… And technically you were. Thankfully, this isn't a courtroom though.

Sunlight was just beginning to peak through the blinds. Everyone's eyes revealed the lack of sleep and at the same time, everyone was on high alert - well at least you and Mingyu were. Wonwoo stared both of you down, his glasses dropping so you could see his intense gaze - it felt like you both were a bunch of prey that had been caught trying to escape the grasp of a dragon. Gyu attempted to lighten the mood with some giggling - no doubt out of nerves but nonetheless, it failed as Wonwoo remained as stoic as ever.

"So…" Woo started.

"Listen! I- I can explain!" Mingyu nearly jumped from his seat. "Just- Let's just talk about this me and you Wonwoo. Let her rest, please." It sounded like a plea - and how could Wonwoo say no to one of his longest friends?

"Right." For the first time, Wonwoo turned to face you, "I'm so sorry, y/n. You've been through a lot today. The sun's already up, you should go wash up and rest.", a gentle smile landed on his lips as he spoke to you, the harshness of his demeanor suddenly fading away.

"Wait- but-" everything happened so fast you barely had time to interject.

"It's okay. I think it's better for me to try and explain the situation…" Gyu gave your hand a reassuring tap as he motioned for you to head upstairs. You felt a bit helpless - they want to speak alone but the subject of their conversation is YOU, so you should be present, no? After an exchange of looks to both of the men that conveyed something along the lines of "You're talking about me and you have the audacity to leave me out of the conversation?!" with a huff you stomped your way upstairs. Oblivious to the lovesick look on Gyu's face at your frustration and the look of reluctant understanding as Wonwoo observed Gyu observing you.

You honestly couldn't tell if the water was steaming from how hot you had it or if the excess annoyance made your body so hot it could pass as a boiler. Either way, once you finished showering your anger had only slightly subsided.

As you dried your hair the sun was now settling its rays over every inch of the streets. You took a moment to recall what you'd experienced while you were out - the overwhelming darkness of depression, the lowest you've ever been. The heat of the blow dryer burning a hole into one spot on your head snapped you out of your daze, putting it down you couldn't help but wonder why the only things you can remember seem to be your darkest days.

Soon your anger faded into curiosity. Exiting your room you could hear murmurs as the boys continued their conversation. You know you wouldn't be able to sleep if you didn't hear at least a small bit of what the boys were talking about - that's right! Completely justifiable to listen in for just a second to ease you own worries, right?

Creeping ever so slowly down the stairs you made sure to keep close to the wall - the closer to the wall the less of a chance of creaking floorboards. Peaking through the living room entrance you could see just a sliver of Mingyu resting his elbows on the coffee table, despite the limited vision you could tell he looked relieved. You couldn't make out most of what they were saying unless you focused intently on just listening, so you pressed you ear as close as you could to the wall.

"Sorry, it's just hard for me to understand, Mingyu."

"I know. It's a lot."

"She's technically dead…"

"I know."

"What do you plan to do next time something like this happens?"

"Take her back to the mortuary and-"

"Mingyu. I know she's important to you but it's not like she can stay here forever."

"What are you talking about?"

"Listen." Wonwoo took a deep breath in before continuing, "I don't know how to put this exactly… but sometimes- most of the time, things die for a reason."

"Wonwoo, I know you're looking out for me but-"

"No no no, Mingyu. Listen to me, she doesn't belong to this world anymore."

"But she's here, isn't she!? She's here. She's upstairs right now! I know you think that this can all be cleaned up with base reason and logic but it can't, it's beyond life and death, it's a miracle. For now, all I can do is continue living in this ignorance, okay? I don't know what'll happen next time, I don't know. But I will continue to love her until whatever happens happens." Mingyu's rapidly speaking so Wonwoo can't get a word in, you can't help but clutch at your chest as your heart begins to sting.

"You've only known her a couple of days."

"I don't care."

"Mingyu-"

"I don't care!" He sounds breathless, "I know it's crazy. I know that. I'm not stupid. But let me have this, let me have her, even if it's just for a moment. It's so fucking crazy but- Right now I can't think straight. I can't think of a future without her. So I won't even encourage the thought until I have to face it head-on."

Wonwoo stayed silent for a long while. You took another peak into the living room and saw the two men just staring at each other. Wonwoo looked as calm as the ocean in his contemplation of Gyu's words. You couldn't see Gyu's face from this angle but as he began to catch his breath you could almost hear silent pleas being said with every exhale.

This was all too much. Of course, the danger of all of this was apparent to you but maybe the severity of that danger should've made you more on edge. Maybe you'd gotten too comfortable with Mingyu and with this entire situation. You felt your heartbeat rise, an anxious rhythm. You clutched your chest feeling a sudden panging, like a small needle being pierced through you - bearable but not painless. What would happen the next time you suddenly faint? What if all your memories came back? What were these past few days in the expanse of your entire lives? Maybe you shouldn't have come downstairs.

With all of this swirling inside you, you quietly made your way back to your room. You didn't know why but tears began to fall. Resting on the pillow you thought about your memories and about Mingyu; In this second chance at life, which mattered more?

Finally, Wonwoo stood up. Mingyu quickly scrambled to his feet to meet him. One glance is all he took towards Gyu, he nodded his head, "I still don't understand but you're obviously passionate. I can't force you to do anything at the end of the day but- Just be safe. For your sake and hers. I really hate seeing any of you guys (referring to their friend group) get all twisted up like this."

Mingyu walked Wonwoo out, the weight on his chest easing with every step and every word said after the conversation. A weight lifted but there was still an unease in his stomach - Wonwoo knew but he didn't understand. How could he understand something that came to Mingyu like instinct? How could he know about the ache in Mingyu's chest every time you aren't in his sight? The type of connection, the type of attraction, Mingyu holds for you is something like worship and he understands the unhealthiness of it all but it's not like he can help himself. He's become content with his imperfections and obsessions - as long as you're able to take him as he is then he's happy.

A sigh of relief comes from him once the door closes. He basks in the shadow that it casts - the coldness it provides amongst the heat of all the tension from before. He drags his heavy, tired legs upstairs and to your door. A few gentle knocks to see if you're still up. He presses his ear up against the door and waits for far too long a time before deciding the coast is clear and entering your room. Soft sunlight warms your face but he can still see tear stains as he sits at your bedside. "Pretty girl, why were you crying? Was it a nightmare?", he questions knowing he won't get an answer, bringing his hand to gently trace your cheek. He doesn't say it but just knowing that something caused you pain puts him on edge, he knows he shouldn't pry but how could he rest when you're hurting?

Exhaustion caught up to him as he left your room. Not bothering to wash up or even close his bedroom door, he flopped onto his bed unceremoniously and knocked out within the minutes following.

Sunday came and went. Honestly, the following week went by like a blur.

After all the hectic stuff had passed Mingyu seemed to give you your space. That coupled with you avoiding most interactions with him if you could help it made for, for the first time since you've been awake, an unwelcoming atmosphere in the house.

It's not that you didn't want to see Mingyu, if anything it was quite the opposite. But your heart never settled around him and your thoughts always ate at you like sharks. Is this right? What if I'm not good for him? What if I'm only holding him back or keeping him in harm's way? He doesn't deserve to be hurt.

So you resolved to walking on eggshells, at least for the time being. If he clung to you even more than he already has there's a higher chance that he'll be hurt in the future. That's not what you want for him. You want only good things to happen to Mingyu, he's already done so much for you! He's, quite literally, done nearly everything for you. At your beck and call if you asked him to be. But that's not right - that's not fair to Mingyu and that's not how he should be living. You had your time… It's time for him to have his.

Mingyu on the other hand hated this. He hated seeing you lock yourself away. But he understood that you needed space. He didn't know what had happened when you were passed out but obviously, it left some sort of toll on you. It took everything in him not to shower you with praise and love when you entered a room he was in, his all was put into making you feel comfortable. He was absolutely restless, sleep became an afterthought as you occupied his mind. He wondered if he should say something or do something to show you how much he cared but his pondering only made him seem more distant. Unknowingly he was building walls… just like he had feared he would. But this was for you, right? This was what needed to happen for you to be better, you needed time, at least that's what Gyu had thought.

The days were filled with text messages about leaving for work, food left in the fridge, and idle talk about less-than-trivial things - all of this initiated by Mingyu of course. When he would come home he'd simply wash and make dinner. At the table nothing more than a few sentences were exchanged with the excuse of focusing on whatever was on the TV, as if it really mattered to either of you. A quick glance at each other before saying goodnight or that you were gonna wash up first was all that you could manage before bed.

It felt like torture.

"Hey, y/n…" Mingyu sauntered up to you in the kitchen. It's the first time he's approached you directly in days. You'd been lucky that he'd had work all week so that you could easily avoid him but tomorrow was Saturday, you'd be a fool to think you could get away from him this easily on the weekend.

Mingyu was completely entranced by your visage the moment he stepped foot into the room. The way you leaned back against the counter, your hair still messy from waking up, and in house clothes - Oh god… You look so good right now. His throat began to dry up-

"Mingyu?"

Right, back to reality Kim Mingyu…

"The boys have been talking about getting together, I hope you don't mind but my house is the best for gatherings. You don't have to come down or anything but I just wanted to let you know…" His words came out before he could process them, the only thing on his mind is the way your fingers picked up the strawberries on your plate and brought them to your plush lips- Holy shit Mingyu! Get it together man!

"Okay, I don't mind."

"Huh? Oh!" Once again he's brought back down from the alien spaceship (of love) that he was on, "Alright, they'll come around tomorrow by the way, I'll let them know that they have the green light." He took out his phone and began typing. He licked his lips in concentration and suddenly your brain turned to mush. Have his arms always been that big? A blush adorned your face like a wildfire in the California summer, quick and red hot.

Good god if this is how you two act facing each other after a week of little contact… Maybe you truly are crazy for each other.

You had foolishly assumed that the Kim Mingyu only invited 4-6 friends like last time. So imagine your surprise when you hear the doorbell ring… and keep ringing every. 5. Minutes. For. An. Entire. Hour. Jeez does no one carpool?

You didn't know exactly how many people had come around but to your untrained ear you could guestimate anywhere between 10-20 people, all of whom seem to be men but you aren't completely sure. He did say "the boys" but what does that even mean? Rolling that pearl around in your mind suddenly a loud growling came from below, dang, I'm really hungry. You wondered if you should go down to get something to eat. It was around dinner time but was it worth the risk of running into one of them?

After the talk with Mingyu, you guys avoided each other around the house like the plague. Even dinner was had separately, which was a first for the both of you. At first, your distance all week was out of hesitation and fear but now the distance was purely made out of embarrassment and awkward blushing, like over the course of a minute conversation you both had gone back to square one. Oh, the effects of mutual crushes and pining… sigh.

The impact of the previous week and all the contemplation wasn't lost on either of you but the weight of living under the same roof and not so much as smiling at each other was making you both stir crazy. Like your hearts, minds, and souls begged to be nearer and nearer and the time apart only made them grow "fonder" or perhaps more ravenous…

You cursed yourself for not grabbing at least a snack from the kitchen earlier. You had all the time in the world but… God that Kim Mingyu! It was like he was standing guard in that section of the house all damn day! The two most traveled places in a home are the kitchen and the living room. And both of them were occupied by the one other person in the house, the man you couldn't face right now. You knew that he was just preparing for tonight but you couldn't help but feel a bit slighted by his actions. As if he were taunting you by staying there all day.

The way he'd smiled devilishly at breakfast and lunch but not so much as a word being said between you when you got your food and brought it back up to your room. It felt like he was saying, "Come join me y/n… Or are you too scared?", you shook the image from your head. Then there was the TV, the TV that you know is set at a constant 38 volume, the perfect volume to be heard from the kitchen but not so loud that it would reach upstairs. But suddenly you can hear the muffled sounds of what you swear are rom-coms playing from down there. And finally, the haunting sound of him singing along to cheesy songs about romance made your heart churn like it was your stomach. What was he hoping to gain?

The answer, well… your attention of course. While you spent your day brooding in your room, thinking of all the ways Kim Mingyu was trying to tear you down, Mingyu was busy setting the mood. He made foods that you expressed a liking for since your time with him, plated them extra pretty, and even gave you the sweetest smile while handing it to you. So why in the world was he met with your face full of disgust?! He mulled over it the whole time he marinated the meats for the party, while he filled the coolers with ice, even while he prepared the side dishes from Seungkwan's mom. He couldn't believe it, every time you looked at him like that he could've sworn he felt his little cartoon heart break just a teensy bit. He put on romantic movies to quell his emotions… but that only made him even sadder. All these happy couples in love hmph while my girl isn't even my girl yet and ON TOP OF THAT SHE'S MAD AT ME! If anyone saw him in this state they'd have thought someone took away his PlayStation or something. Oh, and the singing… Of course, the only rational thing to do in a situation of complete and utter heartbreak at the hands of your unrequited crush is to belt out lovelorn songs like your life depends on it! How could he do anything else?

And he continued with that up until the doorbell rang. Then everything went silent for a time, you listened diligently to get a lay of the land. There was some movement, then chattering, and then the noise and voices just continued to multiply until you were certain an entire class was invited into your home now. It didn't help that you had a nice view of the backyard from your room and opening the window invited the smell of BBQ into your space. Your mouth salivated at the thought of stuffing yourself full of whatever they were having down there. You could also hear them, the conversation was as lively as you'd expect and all of them seemed like such good friends. At some points, you even heard mention of yourself but Mingyu would shut down any attempts to pry into you - it's funny, although you couldn't see his face, his tone definitely conveyed something a kin to a guard dog protecting its owner. The thought made you smile as you propped your elbows on the windowsill.

That's it! You've finally had enough! You can smell the food, you can hear cans popping open, and the worst part, you can hear everyone's mmm's and ahh's at Mingyu's cooking! It's as if he's a five-star chef getting compliments at his restaurant. Of course, you know Mingyu can cook and he can do that damn well, but did they have to say all this while you're sitting up here on an empty stomach looming over them like a starved hound? No, you're fed up! And you're going to do something about it!

You hastily put on a random sweatshirt that Mingyu had bought for you on your shopping trip and tip-toed your way to the stairs. Most of the party was outside shooting the shit right now so you knew you were able to get away with being slightly less cautious.

Like before you kept close to the walls, no creaks of the floor to be heard beneath your feet. Getting to the kitchen entrance you pop your head out just enough to scan the area. "Haha don't worry Hyung! I'll get it!", you quickly retreat as someone walks in. It's a young man, with fluffy hair, and a boyish smile - ah! That voice! You've heard before in the background of some of Mingyu's calls, this must be Chan, the Crematory tech.

Your heart's pounding after almost getting caught. Minutes pass as you make sure that absolutely zero people are walking into the kitchen while you get something to eat. You make your way out of the safety of the shadow and into the warm ambient light. All of them are outside and you can't help but notice how comfortable Mingyu is. All that tension he's been holding erased completely by their presence.

You were a little envious of how many close friends he had at his age, but the thought of envy was quickly replaced with thanks, a part of you feeling as though you should thank these men for sticking by Gyu's side. You took your time daydreaming about Mingyu, so much time that you didn't notice as a shadow growing over your body from behind.

"Excuse me." You're shaken to your core by an unfamiliar voice, frozen in place out of fear.

Unmoving from your spot, firm but gentle hands rest on your shoulders and give you a nudge to the side. You move willingly but aren't able to turn and face what feels like impending doom. Doom however walks ahead of you and when you do eventually come face to face with doom it's actually a lot nicer than you'd expected.

Doom doesn't look like a devil tricking you into the arms of Kim Mingyu. No, not at all! Doom looks like a very nice man, shorter than Mingyu but built like a brick house (lovingly), with a smile that could kill and dimples to boot! His hair covered his eyes a bit but the kindness shone through. He gave a gentle pat to your shoulders as he let go. "Ha ha, sorry. I'm Seungcheol, one of Mingyu's friends. You must be y/n!", he felt warm, a similar aura to Mingyu but more distant, less comfortable.

You grew a shy smile as you met his eyes, his unending charm shining through and making you blush.

"Woah y/n! Nice of you to join the party!", you hear the condescending tone of Boo Seungkwan's voice as you become aware of all of the eyes on the two of you right now. Every single body turned in confusion and curiosity at your presence.

All of this terrified you to your core but perhaps the scariest thing was the seething heat of rage you felt emanating off of Mingyu's gaze. Boring holes into your body with his eyes alone. Oh no oh no oh no oh no. He's jealous.

A/N: I'm back~ And with more perfection! This was actually the cutest little thing to write. And guess what? I actually took my time to write this! A whole 3 days for 4k words. (Usually, I rush lol) But let me know what y'all think... I would love to hear some opinions people!!! Seriously though, I missed y'all~ Did you miss me?

Please Reblog and Comment (They act as power-ups for me)

Taglist (OPEN): @jjin-kun @mydolle-dd @sojuxxi @zimzalaminho @hollxe1

[eeriexbb]

Hazbin Hotel Men🍃 Headcannons

MINORS DNI

Warnings: Weed, Sexual content

Which characters i think would smoke/are 420 friendly

★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★

Angel Dust

◆ Smokes occasionally, on particularly stressful days dealing with Valentino or on sleepless nights

◆ Prefers to smoke from a bong when he does

◆ Gets very cuddly and affectionate when he's high

◆ A glutton for pleasure, would crave sexual touch and be somehow even more outwardly horny

◆ Prefers sativas, for that happy, uplifting high

◆ Has a major sweet sweet tooth when high

Valentino

◆ Smokes daily to relax , it's hard being this cruel, ya know?

◆ Prefers blunts/joints

◆ Craves sensual sex when high, would probably make you go down on him

◆ Often ends up couch bound at the end of a long day

◆ Prefers a relaxing full body high

Husker

◆ Doesn't smoke, but is 420 friendly.

◆ Would encourage you to get crossfaded

◆ Makes fun of you when you smoke, especially if you cough.

◆ Would, although begrudgingly, bring you drinks and snacks when you get the munchies

Alastor

◆ Also doesn't smoke but finds it VERY amusing when people around him do

◆ Would laugh when you start to green out

◆ If you get paranoid, better hope this man isn't around, he would play into into your paranoia and purposely make it so much worse for his own entertainment

◆ Would bring you edibles when you get the munchies and sit back and watch as you get higher.

Vox

◆ Smokes regularly with Val

◆Becomes one with the couch

◆ Mostly smokes for the vibes

◆ Prefers dabs, even though he coughs aggressively every time, which annoys the absolute fuck out of Val who's just trying to vibe

◆ Watches cat videos while high, and bursts into laughter every time

◆ Would bully you horrendously if you got too high around him

Sir Pentious

◆ Doesn't smoke but was unknowingly given an edible by angel once (A few times) and thought he was dying.

◆ Big texture guy. Absolutely loves soft/fluffy textures when high

◆ Cuddly af when high, wants to be close to anyone who will let him

◆ Brings you snacks when you're high and makes sure to check in on you every so often to make sure you're doing okay.

Lucifer

◆ Smokes nightly, in a depressed, divorced dad kind of way.

◆ Gets in his feels when he's high, only to bounce back moments later

◆ Solitary smoker, mostly keeping his smoking habits on the low, especially around Charlie.

◆ Prefers bowls/pipes

◆ Kind of likes the way the smoke burns his lungs, until he's coughing seconds later, looking goofy as hell.

◆ Would be overbearingly caring/protective over you while you're high, checking on you constantly and asking if you need anything.

◆ The mom friend archetype when other people smoke around him

★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★

Thanks for reading!