#and I don't want to hate working what I enjoy doing

[seb-boo]

Highlights from Seb's Interview with Sky Germany (Jeddah 2025):

Seb's kids don't want him driving (cause they like him home so much)

He regretted that when he got the chance to ask Michael a question, he asked about what he did to stay fit

He apparently hates swimming?

He recently broke his finger doing handy work

His son has started to ask about his career

How self-doubt played a role in his career and ultimately poor results were not satisfying to him in the end, especially when he could have been spending time with his kids

He was surprised at his first drivers' briefing how catty everyone was—this later, in addition to safety, was a motivator to reform the GDPA and actually have community amongst the drivers

He feels that Multi 21 made him and Mark closer (ala Baku 2017)

He is open to the idea of taking over Marko's job and discussed how their approaches are very different

He texted Lewis after his China sprint win

His projects allow him to be involved with F1, but keep enough distance to feel comfortable

His favorite thing to do is psychoanalyze the drivers (he also thinks reading people is his greatest gift)

He is struggling with grasses and herbs at agricultural school (but seems to do well on an impromptu quiz)

He's a control freak (he trusts his choice in restaurant and music over everyone else in F1 for a party—oh, and he would pay)

Direct quotes ↴

"I would say, well. It's my own perception, but I think pretty well. The, how do you say, the family peace still exists. [You're not annoying at home?] *laughing* I don't think so. I am still wanted. The kids also said I shouldn't start driving again because it's so nice that I'm there. That's great to hear something like that."

---

"When I imagine myself as a little boy, I can remember the key moments when suddenly Michael was standing there, maybe said something, and the question I asked was, 'what do you do to be fit?' And then you think afterwards or later I thought again, I should have asked so many other things. And then he told me that he does this and that and swims and so on, and I thought, 'oh no, I don't like swimming at all!' These are such small things, but yes, it meant the world to me at the time[...] because my hero listened to me in that sense."

---

"It's about intuition and what really drives you and what you really want, and yes, I think I might not be able to fully answer that question for a long time, or ever, but that's also what triggers curiosity somewhere. But to feel it and, yes, to develop more intuition, I think, was a big point for me and perhaps still is. And it's exciting to get to know yourself again like that. I don't know why I had this drive, after stopping, not to commit myself to a task or a job or, I don't know, partnership XY, but to be free first, for myself, to then feel myself and see, okay, what do I want at all, where is my journey going, and how do I deal with this, in quotes 'emptiness first,' before I immediately jump into the next project?"

"Agriculture has kept me quite busy in the last year with the training that I am now hopefully successfully completing and passing, and I have learned a lot of new things. Yes, there is always something to do around the house and things that have maybe been left undone in recent years, where I am still, yes, skilled. It's relative, I recently broke my finger, but yes, I do a lot and try a lot, and so the days actually pass quickly. I enjoy that. I enjoy the time as well, and this other life, but of course, I watch and follow what is happening and how the guys are doing, and I am still in contact here and there, so yes, it is a big part of me, and it will remain so."

[So the identity as a racing driver will remain. How is that now, for example, at home? For the children, they are 10, 11, I think, then six or so, five?] "Yes, five." [Do they also ask about moments from your career, or is that not a topic at all?]

"Yes, it's funny. We were watching recently, just now, the race in Bahrain or qualifying, and then when it was finished, my youngest said something like, 'I would like to see where you were driving.' Then I said, 'Okay, I have to look first.' I couldn't find anything quickly in the media library, I had to rummage around, but yes, it is interesting. The girls, I think, have taken it in and perceived it a bit more. He was still too young. Yes, it would sometimes be interesting to know what the children think. Here or there, they notice it when we are out and about and perhaps meet people who remember and you stop for a moment and have a chat. But yes, my own perception and then the perception from the children's point of view is very interesting. I think we are coping well with the situation and of course we are trying to give the children a childhood similar to the one we had, in a normal sense, really."

[I also looked at how you have developed as a personality over the years, starting with your time in Formula 1. If you look back at your early years at Toro Rosso, maybe also a bit of the time at Red Bull, how would you describe yourself then?]

"Well, I think very focused, very goal-oriented. I knew exactly what I wanted. I had a very clear vision of where I wanted to go, and then of course I had this incredible time, the years when it felt like everything went well for me. Then with the move to Ferrari, of course, a big challenge, but also a lifelong dream that I could fulfill. The big success, the very big success that I had firmly set my sights on, the title, did not materialize. Now, of course, you can talk for a long time about why and how and why not, but I believe that in retrospect, the time was much more important, the people I met, the experiences I had, and the lessons as well."

"From, I don't know, a certain insecurity, self-doubt also played a big role, then to the last part of my career where I think I opened up more and also came out of myself more in the sense that I not only talked about racing but also addressed other topics and topics that were important to me, and so I gave room to a new side of myself and could develop. And yes, of course, I had a great privilege associated with it, that I was in a position where people might have listened to me or perceived me in that sense, and I actually had very, very many positive experiences with that. Of course, there were also people who said, 'That doesn't belong to you now, and you shouldn't focus on that, and rather focus on driving because things aren't going well there,' and so on. I think there was also a lot of humility in the sense of, yes, when you have a good run at the beginning and then everything picks up speed and you are in teams where things are always moving forward and faster and in big teams, then in that sense, I don't want to say falling behind, but switching to a team that is in this building phase and getting the momentum back was a nice time. "

"But of course, in terms of results, it was a very tough time, a tough pill to swallow, because suddenly you are, I don't know, not in oblivion, but from my point of view and own feelings, you have slipped to results that no longer matter, that are no longer relevant. Whether I was 8th or 12th or 14th, was for me, insufficient for me. Especially when you have already been at the very top, then that is no real fulfillment. But also dealing with that and getting to know that side of myself, I think I have matured extremely in recent years and knew more and more what I wanted. And then in that sense, that I see and want other things in my life and want to have time, especially for the children. Time is limited, and then I had the courage, I think, to say, okay, I know I can do more and I know maybe more is yet to come, but yes, I want to have time for other things and get to know other sides of myself."

---

"And I think our society has changed, that yes, young people or generally, that you now address certain topics and don't stop before certain topics anymore. And that you have to take a position in a certain way. Perhaps a piece of the freedom to withdraw has been lost, but I think that has a very positive overall effect. When you address topics in sport that are perhaps more political or play a role outside of sport, I think it has a lot of impact. So if the values are the right ones that you represent and it is good topics that you address, of course, it's not for me to judge what is good and bad and right and wrong, but I think if you stand up for others and draw attention to things, then that is a good thing."

---

"I remember my first drivers' briefing as a Formula 1 driver. I was somewhat shocked that no one was talking to each other, but rather talking about each other, sometimes with a bit of arrogance, and this difference in status, "I am here, you are there." Yet in sport, in Formula 1 or in life generally, our passion connects us, and then to seek points of attack instead of the things that perhaps distinguish us, I find much more sympathetic, because even if we weren't the best friends in that room of 20 back then and still are today as drivers, even if we weren't the best friends, there was still this great connection and the passion that we all shared or cared about, right?"

[Or I mean, towards the end of your career, you brought the drivers together, but this is now commonplace, right?]

"Because I simply thought or felt that this community was missing, and also to help establish the GPDA, and I went to Alex, to Alex Wurz, who is still involved, and said, 'Alex, we somehow have to manage to bring the drivers together.' Of course, safety is a topic that connects us all, but also generally, let's talk about the other topics when we feel that something is wrong, or that we simply get into an exchange. I think the space is good that you can, apart from statements you have heard about others, find this space to also go out for dinner in the evening and exchange ideas and get to know each other better. You spend so much time together, it feels like, and at the same time, everyone is so absorbed in their team with meetings and, I don't know, meet and greets and appearances here and there, that you actually don't have any time together, and that is really a shame."

[With Multi 21, for example, with Mark Webber back then, such an action, how do you see that now, from your past, do you say that was totally okay, or do you think it was difficult?]

"Especially, I think, that our relationship was strained until then. Or very, yes, we were very big competitors, so Mark. Of course, then also within the team, but I think that ultimately, clearly, it wasn't a nice event, but I think it led to us understanding each other much better today and having much more respect for each other. So, we talked afterwards, I told him what I didn't like about it and why I felt it was unjustified. He expressed his opinion, and yes, even if you don't completely agree with and adopt the other person's opinion, that's not what it's about. It's about talking to each other in the first step, and we were much better at that afterwards."

[Sebastian, when you look at the situation right now at Red Bull, it's funny that your name came up today because I was talking to Ralf about what you yourself once mentioned as a potential successor. Is that a role you could fundamentally imagine?]

"I think there is only one Helmut, and his role, clearly, is his. But yes, I think that generally, the exchange is also very inspiring, and of course, you have the experiences you have, and Helmut is similar in a way. He also grew up in motorsport, a completely different time, but the wheel still turns the same way in a way, and the similar and same things matter today as they did, I don't know, how many years ago, even if Formula 1 has changed significantly."

"Yes, I think there are many things and perspectives or parallels or things that one could pass on. Whether that will be something in the future, we'll see. I am still in contact with him, I also asked him a few years ago how much longer he wanted to do it, and he said not much longer, and he is still here. *laughs* So as long as he still enjoys it and feels up to the job, I think, yes, he is in a unique role, especially with the experience and the team dynamics. He knows that best, and from the outside, it is always difficult to judge, and perhaps you sometimes wonder here or there how this happened or what's the point, but of course, he has a completely different perspective and completely different experiences. And yes, it will be a shame when he leaves or steps down from the position at some point, but of course, then, yes, it has to develop in a new, different direction."

[I visited him recently in Graz, he had just come from the forest, it was 11 in the morning, he said he had already been there for 3 hours, and then he said he talks about it often with you too because you are also a forester and you have different approaches, right?]

"Yes, completely different views, but we both have respect for each other. He is more of the old school. I am more of the modern perspective, that you sometimes leave the tree lying there, and thereby cultivate or promote the beneficial insects, or in his view, pests, and thus ensure balance. But yes, neither of our views is just right and just wrong."

---

[I also said recently, after three races we say someone is great, and then they make a mistake again, and then they go down again. So this patience also to have with development, for example, with Lewis Hamilton. I think you wrote to him after the sprint victory in China, didn't you?]

"Yes, of course."

[Yes, he was probably happy because you texted him. How do you see that? I mean, you also made this move from Red Bull to Ferrari. What is this big adjustment that you need as a driver, and why does it take so long, maybe half a year, as Ralf, for example, said?]

"Well, maybe it takes even longer, depending. I think so many things depend on it. I think the car was less of a change for me back then. Everything was different. The car drove completely differently. But yes, I was able to get used to it quite quickly in that sense. But of course, it's other people, a different environment, a different language, a different culture. So I think the whole thing overwhelms you, and everyone is different. One person might need longer, another less long with one situation or another. I don't think there's any doubt that he can drive. There's no doubt that he can do all the things that are now demanded of him. But it's also completely normal to need a little time. And I think nothing is lost there either, in that sense. If the development suddenly takes the right path, then I think Ferrari is in a completely different position again. They were very strong last year, narrowly missed the Constructors' Championship, so you shouldn't write off the whole team and the two drivers now."

---

[If you could choose a role again in Formula 1, I know that you were, for example, in Monaco, we saw each other very briefly there, you came out of the Red Bull hospitality, you had an appointment with Stefano Domenicali. When people see you now, also with your experience regarding social projects, everyone would ask, why isn't Sebastian integrated into Formula 1 anymore with his past? What's the answer to that?]

"I have many, but would you like to do that? I am in contact with Stefano, we are talking about it and perhaps still refining and tinkering with what it would look like exactly. Yes, but I also don't want to push myself in any way. I think ultimately it has to fit for both sides. I don't know. I mean, I follow the sport with great interest, and now also with enough distance that I don't feel like it's a problem anymore. The first few races were perhaps a bit more difficult, but now after a relatively long time, it is no longer a problem."

"Yes, I don't know what it could be in the future. Of course, it would be nice to see that the goals that Formula 1 sets for itself are realistically approached and achieved regarding the future and regarding responsibility. So whether it's climate neutrality by 2030 or certain projects and aspects to use the impact of Formula 1 to really live, exemplify, and bring about good change. On the other hand, of course, as I said, staying close to the drivers in a certain role, I don't know what kind of role that will be in the future, is certainly something one can imagine, which I can also imagine."

[Simply because you have had so many experiences that you couldn't evaluate during your active time, but now I think with more distance, you see many things.]

"I watch the races, of course, I see the same things as everyone else, which tires, which strategy, and so on. But I think what tactic or what mindset is behind it, what is going on in the driver's head, I think I already have more insight, perhaps not better than everyone else, but more insight. And of course, yes, because it's perhaps still so fresh, I can still draw more from it. 'Does he feel comfortable now, and where is perhaps the problem? Maybe it's not the tire set or the strategy, but perhaps something else.' That's what I find interesting, the person behind it."

[I just wanted to ask you a few quick short questions at the end, including a quiz question about your training. I'm curious if you can answer it. Perhaps first, what are you learning right now that you are not yet good at?]

"Grasses and herbs."

[Okay...alphorn playing?]

"Alphorn playing! I still remember that, I put it aside but haven't completely given up. I heard something again recently and thought, oh yes, I must get it out again."

[What is your greatest gift?]

"Of course, you could talk about racing because I had some success there and so on, but I think, yes, this reading people, it sounds a bit much, but I think I can sense what is going on in people and in certain situations, and then, of course, when it comes to sport and performance or results in that sense."

[Looking back at your Formula 1 time with all the people you met, regardless of who they are, a really good evening, a final evening, perhaps. Who chooses the restaurant?]

"Me!" [Ja?] "Ja!"

[Do you have good taste?]

"I don't know, but I think I have learned over the years that, yes, I really enjoy doing that. Let's put it that way."

[Who is responsible for the music?]

"Also me. If I'm throwing the party, then at least the food and music. Music can either be right and you don't really notice it, it's in the background and it fits. But if it's wrong, it's already too late when you notice it. So, yes."

[What do you like to listen to? What's your favorite?]

"Everything. But when eating, yes, it has to be something calmer and something that fits the time and the setting."

[Yes, who pays?]

"I would also like to, I wouldn't have a problem." *laughs*

[Who leaves first?]

"That depends on how many people are there."

[But who would be the one you'd say, yes, okay, the slightly grumpy one.]

"Christian always left first!"

[Okay, okay, okay. And who locks the door at the end?]

"Adrian."

[Really? Such a party person?]

"Yes, well, there are others there too, but yes, he always had fun anyway."

[So Sebastian, the last question now. Now I'm curious. I hope I'm not putting you on the spot. So you are doing your training now in Switzerland, right? Agriculture? I think you are in the vocational school in Pfäffikon. Did I pronounce that correctly?] "Ja." [Watch out, now I have picked out a question. So, which plant is often referred to as "green gold" because it improves the soil and serves as animal fodder? Is it A) Wheat, B) Clover, C) Corn, or D) Rapeseed?]

"It's clover because it's a legume and the only plant that can store nitrogen in the form of nodule bacteria on the roots. You can even see them with the naked eye, and it's not only good for the soil and the plant, but also good for the animals."

[That's great. You passed the test!]

[dameronspector]

Getaway Car (Part 3)

Pairing: Manny Alvarez x GN!Reader, Joel Miller x Platonic!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

Summary: Manny stayed back, you saved Joel and safely returned to Jackson. He’d beg on his knees for forgiveness, but would you forgive him?

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort from Joel, Joel is a father to Reader, Reader misses Manny so much, Mentions of Depression and Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Death, Blood, Gore, Joel Miller Is Saved, Reader hates Abby and the group, Manny begs for forgiveness, reunions, domestic Manny, that’s all I think!

AN: mwah I love these two I love manny I love joel I love Tommy I love Ellie just..yeah 🩷 enjoy! This is the final part!

PS: I don't know anything about the game, my characterisation is based off the wiki information, the show and my own imagination. Plus, I headcanoned the QZ where they first met as Miami because that's Danny's hometown.

The more he thought of it, the more he knew that he wanted to stay back with you. He’d do what he had promised himself 5 years ago- beg on his knees for your forgiveness.

He raised his tear-filled eyes and looked at you, doting on Joel and Ellie. You had called her your sister. You had a family. And he’d be lying if he didn’t want to be a part of your family. He wanted you to love on him and care for him. Nora took one look at him and patted his shoulder, him turning around to hug her and Mel for the last time. “Take care of Abby. And…please, keep her away from (Name)”, Manny whispered in a pained voice. Nora offered him a terse nod and departed from him, leaving him to stare at you with longing in his eyes.

You didn’t notice the others leave. You didn’t notice Manny being the only one who didn’t leave. Your entire body was dialed onto Joel-all you could think of, was how to help him. You carefully straightened his body, making him lay on his back and he let out pained whimpers, hands tightening around Ellie’s.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I need to check your injuries, Joel”, you soothed him. Ellie was staring at him with her cheeks damp and face red due to her crying. “El, can you check if there’s a stick or something for his leg? We gotta-”

“Here.” You snapped your eyes up to look at-

“Manny?”, you whispered in disbelief. You noticed the way he swallowed and simply extended a broken table leg to tie around Joel’s injured knee. “Wrap this below his knee and straighten his leg, I’ll tie it up”, he mumbled to Ellie and got to work.

You stared at the scene in shock, Ellie’s face mirroring yours. He had stayed back.

“This is gonna hurt”, he warned you and you immediately went to ground Joel. You looked down at his bloody face, one of his eyes swollen shut.

“Hey, Joel? This is gonna hurt but we gotta do it to help you, okay?”, you gently cooed to him and held his hand tightly in yours, him responding in painful grunts.

Manny slowly straightened Joel’s leg and Joel screamed in agony, causing you to shut your eyes tightly and look away, Ellie doing the same and letting out a cry. Your body shook with sobs, Manny watching you closely, his heart hurting at that state of you. Directly or indirectly, he was the cause of your pain.

Finally, Joel stopped screaming and Manny announced that he was done. You brought your tearful eyes back to Joel and beckoned Ellie to come closer, her snuggling up to you and laying a hand on Joel’s chest- which was thankfully moving.

You brushed Joel’s damp hair away from his forehead and looked at Manny. “Thank you”, you managed to croak out, your eyes expressing your genuine gratitude for his help. Manny simply nodded his head and looked away towards Dina. “I’ll-I’ll help her. Do you wanna try calling someone for help?”, he offered in a careful tone.

You gave him a terse nod and he brought over the comm to you, his fingers brushing against yours. Your stomach flipped in excitement at feeling his touch after 5 long years.

-

After trying to radio Jesse for 20 minutes straight, the door to the room burst open and Jesse arrived on the scene. By now, Joel was just resting his eyes, exhausted from the blood loss and everything. You and Ellie kept a vigilant eye on him. Manny stayed by Dina, trying to keep her warm by shifting her near the fire while occasionally darting his eyes to you.

His chest hurt at how heartbreakingly beautiful you looked. He missed seeing you in front of him.

Your head snapped towards the sound, body deflating in relief at Jesse’s arrival. “Jesse-”, your voice broke off by another wave of tears. Jesse looked horrified but he masked it, not wanting to freak you or Ellie out.

“It’s okay, we’re going home now. Come on”, he soothed you and helped you and Ellie up, you held onto his arms tightly.

Manny’s stomach twisted in jealousy.

“Where’s Dina-”, Jesse questioned and turned to look around the room before his eyes fell on Manny and Dina. “Who are you?”, he asked Manny sharply, eyes assessing him.

You grabbed Jesse’s arm, “I know him, it’s alright. You two, help Joel. We need to find something that will make it easier for him and us to travel. Ellie and I will help Dina, go”, you reassured him before making your way to Dina. Manny looked at you and nodded his head in understanding, making his way over to help Joel and Jesse.

-

After finding a sledge somewhere deep inside a closet and strapping Joel in, the five of you made your way back to Jackson. The blizzard was over now, thankfully, and your horses could walk properly again, which helped you reach Jackson earlier.

Because Manny didn’t have a horse, he had to sit behind you and you were trying your best not to lean against his body heat, his hands twitching to hold your waist and bring you closer to his chest. The whole ride back to Jackson had your body tense and stiff, trying to maintain a safe distance from Manny.

You reached Jackson and almost fell off the horse. The town looked like it had endured a massacre.

The gate was broken down, a pile of infected bodies lying on top of each other in front of it, the wall was completely destroyed, smoke and ash curling in the air, a few living fires making the snow melt and the roads slippery. The insides were just as bad-- houses and shops were broken down, bodies of your fellow townspeople lying around, some of them being executed because they were bitten and in between all of that was Tommy, trying to help the fallen. He had a cut on his face, eyebrows deeply furrowed, face contorted in stress and eyes shining with tears.

Your chest twisted in pain at the sight of your home being torn apart like this. You hurriedly got off Max and ran towards Tommy—Jesse and Manny staying back to help Ellie, Dina and Joel.

"Tommy!", you cried out and ran towards him. Tommy snapped his head up and his face contorted in relief at seeing all of you return, though he couldn't help but notice Joel's absence, his heart skipping a beat.

"Oh, thank Christ, you're all okay", he breathed out and brought you in a bone crushing hug. You hugged him just as tight, your face smushed against his shoulder and eyes shut tightly.

Tommy broke the hug and held you at arms length, eyes searching behind you, "Where's Joel, Kid?", he asked breathlessly.

Your eyes filled up with tears and you managed to choke out, "Later, we need to treat him first. What happened here, Tom?"

Tommy inhaled sharply and shook his head, "Horde attack. Broke down the wall so we had to flame 'em- hence the fires. Destroyed all the buildings and shit." Your eyes widened at that.

"Get Joel to the clinic. I'll meet you there soon", Tommy instructed you and you departed with a terse nod. You made your way back to where Jesse and Manny stood and helped them pull Joel towards the clinic meanwhile Ellie helped escort Dina.

They took in Joel immediately after looking at the state he was in. You let out an exhausted sigh and crumpled down on the corridor floor, burying your head in your hands. You were running on pure adrenaline for the past few hours, not getting a chance to properly come to terms with what had happened and now that you closed your eyes, all you could see was Joel's bloody face and the way he screamed in pain.

You felt your breath hitch, chest constricting painfully and you groaned weakly, hands clawing at your chest to get rid of the feeling. In your panic, you didn't notice someone crouch down in front of you, their hands grabbing yours and putting them on their chest, near their heart.

"Breathe with me, c'mon", a voice called out to you, your brain fuzzily registering it. You felt their chest go up and down as they took big breaths to encourage you to do so. You managed to inhale shakily, letting the oxygen inflate your chest before letting it out. After doing this for 5 more times, the weight on your chest slowly disappeared and that's when you realised who helped you- Manny.

His brown eyes were looking at you in concern, a frown pulling at his lips and hands still holding yours against his chest. You stared at him blankly before snatching your hands away from his, getting up in the process. He followed behind closely, trying to get you to talk to him, "(Name)-", but you cut him off, not in the headspace to talk to him yet.

You still had to wrap your head around the fact that he was alive and breathing, and the fact that he had betrayed you even after you gave him a choice to not to.

"Don't. Not now", you stopped him from coming near with a hand extended towards him, swallowing thickly while your eyes focused on your shoes. Manny paused and squeezed his hands in a fist before reluctantly nodding his head and giving you space, his heart breaking apart in a million pieces at the distance between the two of you.

-

You've lost track of time by now. Spending your entire time helping the fallen and keeping track of Joel's health, your mind and body working like a machine. You were thankful for the distraction because it made you forgot about the fact that Manny was here, breathing the same air as you.

It's been almost 3 hours since they took Joel in. Tommy, Maria and Ellie joining you outside the room that he was being operated on. You hugged Maria as soon as you saw her, asking her if Benji was okay and she reassured you that he was. You breathed out in relief, glad that your family was alive, even though today will leave long lasting effects on their psyche and marks on their body as a reminder.

Maria left to check on the others and Tommy addressed you and Ellie in a serious tone, "What the hell happened out there?", you exchanged a nervous look with Ellie, who hadn't spoken much since you got here, choosing to stick by your side and observe everything silently.

"Tommy, they were Fireflies. Wanted to kill Joel for Salt Lake", you confessed quietly, Tommy's eyes widening in realization.

"Fuck", he whispered and ran a hand across his face. "They hurt you?", he asked curiously.

Joel had discussed about your past with Tommy in confidence before, not wanting to hide anything from his brother and so that a trustworthy person would be aware to keep you safe. Tommy took it better than you expected, with him being an Ex-Firefly himself, he understood your helplessness. Though, you still hadn't told Ellie, scared of her reaction and scared that it'll strain her and Joel's relationship further.

You shook your head no and Tommy asked you the dreaded question, "Who's the new guy?". You froze, unsure of how to explain to him about your situation with Manny.

You cleared your throat before confessing, "He uh-he was in the group. With me. And the others. We were...together before I came to Jackson", your voice shy and low. Tommy's face flashed with realization and he let out a sigh, understanding that this was a conversation to be had later.

"Alright, you guys get some rest. You're barely standin' straight", you opened your mouth to protest but Tommy stopped you, "I'll personally come to inform you if he wakes. Don't be so damn stubborn, go rest", he chided you, his southern drawl suddenly sounding stronger than before. You let out a huff of frustration and punched his arm lightly, walking away with Ellie bundled up in your arms. Tommy watched you go with a sad smile on his face.

-

You took Ellie home, putting her on strict bedrest and she went down with no protest, too tired to even argue with you. You decided to wash up, the events of the day taking a toll on you-your joints cracked and muscles spasmed with the smallest of movements.

After putting on fresh clothes, you decided to get yourself a glass of water, your throat parched and you heard a knock on the door. You let out a sigh and carried the glass of water with you to open the door. You almost dropped the glass.

"Hey", Manny greeted you hesitantly, his hands nervously stuffed inside his jacket's pockets. You gulped the water harshly before mumbling out a 'Hey' in response.

Nails tapping against the glass, you spoke up after a moment of awkward silence, "How'd you find my house?", your eyebrow quirked up in question.

"Uh-I asked around...they said the house with the cherry blossom trees belongs to Joel, so, thought I'd find you here", Manny responded quietly and shrugged.

"Okay, did you need something?"

Manny looked at you in disbelief, "Need something? Angel, I haven't seen you in 5 years. I'm here for you", his voice cracking towards the end, eyebrows furrowed in distress.

You stiffened up before going back to put the glass on the coffee table and ushered Manny out of the house, closing the door behind you. Gesturing him to follow you towards the back of the house, you stood in front of him with your arms across your chest. You licked your lips and shook your head in frustration.

"Manny, why are you doing this now?", you asked him in an exhausted voice.

"I-I want to be with you, (Nickname). You have no idea how miserable I was-"

"No idea? No idea-", you scoffed in sarcasm and spread your arms out in exasperation, "I was the one who travelled alone to Jackson while feeling severely depressed because my boyfriend betrayed me for his- insane friends, and even after I found myself a family here, I still wanted to die because my mind wouldn't stop imagining said boyfriend here with me, and I'm the one who has no idea?", you rambled furiously, your eyes staring daggers at Manny.

He flinched at your outburst and turned his head to the side in shame, his neck shaded with a red tinge and veins popping out in strain.

"What do you know, huh? You had a whole group of people around you, catching you if you fall. I had no one. Even when I was with you, I was alone. You heard her, didn't you? That I was the odd one out?", you questioned him, leaning closer to make him look you in the eye.

Manny shot his head up at that, "No- don't say that, please. You weren't alone. I loved you then and I love you now. I just-", he broke off abruptly to swallow in guilt.

You grimaced, "You just what? You couldn't let go of your ego? Your desperation for vengeance and to prove that all of you are a strong unit? Even if you knew that Abby and her father were wrong?", you accused him, jabbing a finger into his chest. He stumbled back, his face crumpled in emotion, your harsh words hitting him straight into his heart.

"Yes, Yes! I was wrong, I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry-I-I knew you were right from the moment you told you me, I knew we were wrong. I just- i was so blinded by the fact that someone had caused pain to one of my closest friends, I wanted to see him and Ellie suffer in the same way", he admitted shamefully, his face damp with tears and eyes bloodshot, hands clenched so tightly into fists that his knuckles turned white.

You stared at him in disgust, "Manny, are you hearing yourself? What happened to you? She was a little girl-a fucking child. Joel was saving his daughter and that's what made you guys lose your minds? Not the fact that your friend and her father were committing the murder of a child?!", you glowered, your voice hoarse, face heated in anger and your breathing laboured.

You were hyperventilating, years of pent up frustration and sadness pouring out of you.

Manny sensed this and tried to soothe you, "Baby, you're panicking, please-", he came closer to hold your elbows and you shrugged him off.

"Don't touch me! I'm-you broke my heart. It's like I never knew you. How can you be so...heartless? You even participated in- in the sick torture that Abby was inflicting on my---on my dad. How could you, Manny?", you cried out, your voice strained with sorrow and heartbreak.

Manny felt like someone had stabbed him 10 times into the chest. Hell, he'd prefer being stabbed over being the reason for your tears and pain, wishing he had died instead.

His face twisted in pain and he got down on his knees, his hands holding yours and pressing his forehead against them, "I didn't, I swear I didn't agree to that. None of us did. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, angel. But, I'm here now. I've left all that for good. I can't take anymore sleepless nights without you next to me. I want a home with you--a family, and I promise that I'll get better. If I don't, I'll happily die from your hands. Just-please. Give me one chance, please. I'll do anything you ask me to", he begged into your hands, pressing desperate kisses to them and his tears dampening them.

You were too tired to react to that, choosing to limply hold his hands and stare into the distance, thinking of what to do next.

Just as you were going to speak up, Tommy came rushing into the backyard and paused to stare at the scene. He schooled his face into a neutral expression and called out to you, "Kid, Joel's awake", he announced in a breathless voice.

You snapped out of your trance and looked at Tommy in surprise. He nodded at you and you dropped Manny's hands to run all the way to the clinic. Tommy stared Manny down, observing his kneeling form closely and went over to stand by him.

From the corner of his eyes, Manny caught sight of a hand extended in front of him and he hesitantly grabbed it before the man pulled him up.

He came face to face with a tall man, who looked like he could've been his brother in another life- they had the same features and the same hair. The man ran his gaze over Manny in judgement before speaking up, "Let's get you some food. Then, we have lots to discuss", he instructed in his heavy southern twang and patted Manny on the shoulder, firmly.

-

"Joel?", you called out softly, walking over to stand next to his bed. One of his eyes was still swollen shut, the cuts on his face stitched up and the blood cleaned from his face. His knee was wrapped and elevated to keep the pressure off from it and you knew Joel would complain about it.

But he was breathing, his good eye fluttering behind the lid and his fingers twitching. He let out a groan and licked his lips to get ride of the dry feeling on them, his good eye slowly opening to focus on you. "Hey, kiddo", he mumbled in a scratchy voice.

You smiled sadly and offered, "You want some water, Pops?". Joel grunted in annoyance before whispering a 'yes'. You cradled his head in your hands and helped him sip the water before he asked you to lay him back down.

"You scared us to death, Joel", you confessed in a wavering voice and pinched your nose between your fingers. Joel looked at you with a sad expression on his face and lifted a weak hand for you to hold. You looked at him with tears in your eyes and grasped his hand carefully in both of yours.

"Sorry", he murmured guiltily, his face twisting in pain and from the efforts to control his tears from falling. "Thank you for saving me", he shot you a small smile.

You chuckled lowly and patted his hand, your chin wobbling from the tears lodged in your throat. You sniffled and wiped your eyes before clearing your throat. "Did Ellie come to see you?", you asked him curiously and he nodded lightly.

"Yeah. Didn't say much but... held my hand", his voice cracked with emotion and he smiled tearfully.

Your eyes welled up with tears of happiness for Joel and you brushed his hair back. "That's good. Baby steps, yeah?", you encouraged him and he nodded in agreement.

The room was quiet for a moment before he spoke up, "The one who wrapped my leg...that your man?", he teased lightly.

You paused, eyes widened and you felt your cheeks warm up, "How the hell did you see him?!", you sputtered out in disbelief.

Joel let out a huffed laugh, "So, he is. Easy on the eyes, I'll give ya that."

You groaned in embarrassment, your hands covering your face, "You're so annoying, Miller."

He chuckled softly before wincing and you scolded him to shut up. "Ya'll talked it out?", he asked you, referring to your situation with Manny.

Your face turned glum, eyes focusing on a loose thread on your jacket, "He asked me to forgive him...on his knees and everything", you mumbled.

Joel's face expressed shock as best as it could with all the cuts and one less eye. "Damn...and what'd you say?"

"Blasted off on him. I was so frustrated and hurt and angry...I just...took it out on him."

"That's a good thing. Now that the anger is out of your system, ya'll can finally have a mature conversation", Joel comforted you in that fatherly manner that he always does.

You furrowed your brows, "I don't know what to do, Joel. I-I'm so hurt. But-"

"But you love him a lot and wanna stay with him."

You let out a big sigh, "Yeah. I waited so long...he deserves to live in peace, too", you confessed, your lips set in a frown.

"Then listen to your heart. We've all done bad things, Kid. Can't pick and choose who's the better one, not in this world, at least. If you're gettin' a chance at happiness...grab it and hold it close", Joel suggested, his voice coated with longing.

You swallowed against the lump in your throat sniffled, "Thank you", squeezing his hand in gratitude. Joel gave you a half smile and squeezed your hand back.

-

Ellie took over your place next to Joel and your stomach cramped in hunger, realising you haven't eaten anything since morning. As you made your way to the eating hall, your mind kept replaying the conversation you had with Manny.

His tearful face and desperate kisses against your hand almost broke you. You thought about what Joel said, that nobody in this world was good anymore. You've all done bad things to survive, Manny just happened to go a little more extreme. But, did he not deserve to live peacefully with you? Did you really want to see him suffer? Could you live without hearing his voice or feeling his touch again? The answer was a plain and simple No.

He was the one who saved you, he was the one who taught you how to survive in this fucked up world, and he was the one who protected you from the evil around you. Maybe, now was the time to allow him to slow down, to let him have some peace, to let him enjoy a hot cup of coffee on the porch of your own house, to let him have a good night's sleep, to give him another chance. Because you were always sure of one thing, you would forever hold a special place for Manny Alvarez in your heart.

You found him in the eating hall, holed up into a corner table with a plate of food in front of him but he wasn't eating. He was cradling his head in his hands, pulling at his hair and staring at the table. You know he was feeling overwhelmed, not used to so much commotion around him. After all, you had been like this too, on your first day in Jackson.

Tommy spotted you across the hall and gestured you over, leaning against the bar counter. He was looking at Manny the whole time.

"He's not eaten a single thing since I brought him here. Been starin' at the table for the past half hour", Tommy informed you lowly.

You sighed and looked at Manny with pitiful eyes. "I know. He's probably overstimulated."

Tommy looked at the yearning look on your face and chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. You looked at him in confusion.

"A damn apocalypse out there and we still got fools in love over'ere", Tommy teased you.

You groaned loudly and slapped his shoulder, "You and your brother think that you're comedians or something."

Tommy's chuckles receded and he nudged you, "Go talk to him." You looked at him and frowned, nodding weakly before making your way over to where Manny sat.

You silently slid in the seat in front of him and scooped up some soup in the spoon, holding it up before clearing your throat. Manny snapped his head up and froze. His curls were sticking in all directions, eyes and face red from all the crying he did and mouth agape, as if he was not expecting you to sit in front of him. He truly looked at you then, how you looked so stunning even after being so exhausted.

You shifted uncomfortably, "My arm is hurting, are you gonna eat or not?", you murmured and shifted the spoon closer to his mouth.

He finally moved then, leaning closer to the spoon and closing his mouth around it before gulping, his eyes still fixated on your face.

"I-" "No. Eat first, then we can talk for as long as you want to. Do you wanna eat somewhere else?"

Manny blinked in surprise at your offer and how you sounded much more calm now. He simply nodded his head and you got up to pack his food into containers, him following you around like a lost puppy.

-

You settled down on the outdoor seating in Joel's backyard and let Manny finish his serving. You missed seeing him like this- alive and whole- in front of you. After he was done, he finished the glass of water you had set down for him and awkwardly shifted in his seat, not sure what to expect.

"You sure you wanna stay here?", you asked him suddenly. He tilted his head like a puppy and his brown eyes widened. "Yes...I-I want to."

"I'm not forcing you, you're still free to walk away and go back to Seattle. I don't want you to be here just for the sake of me."

"No! No, (Name), I came here for you. I told you that before, and I mean it. Please, give me a chance. I wanna- I wanna live with you", he sputtered out.

You assessed him closely, "If you try anything while you're here, I wont hesitate to kill you, you know that right?", you threatened him casually. He nodded his head vehemently.

"And you'll make up for your mistakes? Be kind to my family?", he nodded his head yet again, "Yes, I swear", he conceded in a sincere voice.

"And-..if I give you a chance, you won't betray me again?", your voice broke and your eyes welled up.

Manny froze when he realised what you said, "Wait. You- Yes. Yes, a thousand times, yes. I promise, I'll make it up to you our whole life", his voice shook with emotion, hands itching to hold you in his arms.

"Okay", you sniffled and nodded in agreement. Manny let out a content sigh and whispered an 'okay'. He'd do everything and anything you'd ask him to win you back in his life.

-

Jackson, 2031

You woke up to the sound of muffled chatter from the street and the chirps of little birds. Warm sunlight was pouring through the curtains, bathing your bedroom in a shade of yellow. You then registered the heavy arm around your middle, the sunlight making it look like it was painted in gold, the skin smooth and soft.

The breaths hitting your neck tickled you slightly and you turned around to face him- your Manny- still sleeping soundly with his mouth slightly open, giving you a view of his crooked lower teeth that you adored. His clean shaven face was glowing, the tiny moles scattered across his face like constellations and his cropped curls appearing soft to the touch—making him look boyish.

It’s been a year since Manny won you back. He’s been working so hard on proving himself to you by helping around the community, making amends with Joel and Ellie, trying to leave behind his past and harmful tendencies behind. He was much more calmer now, less brash, slowing down and enjoying mundane domesticity with you.

Truthfully, he didn’t need to do much. All he had to do was be himself. You never fell out of love with him, just upset with how far he’d let himself stray. But, Manny was home now, sleeping in later and waking up by loving on you—his day starting and ending with worshipping you. He was still the same Manny when you were both 20 year olds- overprotective and fiercely loyal. Except now, he let you do patrols only with him, Joel, Ellie or Tommy as your partners.

Tommy and Joel had surprisingly taken him under their wings, teaching him construction work, encouraging him to help around in the community and utilising his shooting skills to protect Jackson Hole. They were impressed with how agile and what a graceful fighter he was.

They never missed a chance to tease you whenever you admired him working around the town. You’d act annoyed but deep down, your heart would be soaring with happiness to see your family accept Manny with open arms.

Although, Maria and Ellie were the last ones to come around. Maria got used to Manny a little earlier, as Benji was so enraptured with him that she came around quickly. Manny had taken it upon himself to teach Benji football and they would hang out day and night, the adorable sight making you cry always.

Ellie, on the other hand, she still held a slight grudge against him (rightfully so) so she maintained a safe distance from him. Manny confessed to you that she lowkey scared him and you had laughed at that, telling him that he should be scared of her.

Another person that held grudge against Manny was Jesse, for the way he handled Dina and you excused that too, but Manny and Jesse seemed to have a silly testosterone fight going on and you steered clear of it, not interested in it in any way. Dina kept Manny on his toes, annoying him like a younger sibling and it was so entertaining for you to watch him be grumpy around her.

The elder townsfolk absolutely adored Manny and you- the abuelas cooing over him while pinching his cheeks everytime he charmed them and spoke to them in Spanish, and taking you by your hands to their houses to feed you their homemade dishes. Manny always had a goofy smile by the time you returned home, enjoying the attention. And you laughed in adoration, loving the fact that you got to see that shy and bashful blush across his cheeks more and more often.

A shocking thing that happened to Manny— in the entirety of you knowing him, you’ve never seen him unsure, shy or hesitant about anything. That changed as soon as he stepped foot in Jackson and you saw it in the dining hall, with him sitting in the corner, away from everyone. In the beginning, he’d enter any room without turning on the light, forgetting that Jackson had electricity. You’d lightly come up behind him and turn it on, his body tensing and his face flushing with red when he realised it was you.

He’d jump around the loud noises, as Jackson would get rowdy during meal times or events, he even refused to sleep with his back to the door, wanting to stay vigilant and alert at all times. After spending your whole life looking over your shoulder, this was bound to happen and your heart broke for him, wanting to reassure and comfort him every time he felt like that. Watching him look at everything in child-like wonder made your chest hurt with love and the feeling of wanting to protect him forever.

“You’re thinking so loud”, he mumbled sleepily, arms tugging you closer to him. You blinked, smiling gently and cradled his cheek into your hand, caressing it with your thumb. “Good morning, Em”, you replied softly and pinched his cheek.

He flashed you his half-smile and slipped a hand under your shirt, pressing a kiss into your palm, “Mornin’, angel”, he finally opened his eyes and they shone like earthen pools in the sunlight. The urge to go back to sleep was strong, the bed sheets warm and comfy with your shared body heat, Manny’s body soft and sturdy against yours and his hand under your shirt gently rubbing your bare back. But you had to get up and start work or else Maria would be upset for the whole day.

“C’mon, we gotta get up, baby. You’ve got to help Joel with the restoration today.”

Manny grumbled and slid down to bury his head in your chest, legs trapping you against him. “No. 5 minutes more, please.”

“Manny…you know how Joel gets. He’ll do everything on his own even if his joints lock up. C’mon, let’s get to work”, you cooed at him and rubbed his back gently.

Joel was fully recovered now, but the doctors told you that his knee injury would give him chronic knee pain, which made sitting or standing for longer hours difficult for his aging body. Manny, Tommy and Jesse tried their best to take off the burden but Joel Miller was nothing if not stubborn. “You’ve to teach the kids as well, let’s go.”

Manny groaned, the sound vibrating against your chest, “Swear to god, you Millers stress me out on purpose”, and he squeezed your waist.

You giggled and slapped his back lightly before he propped himself up on an arm and admired you with doe eyes.

You shifted in unease, “Stop looking at me like that”, you mumbled and tried to close his eyes with your hand. He grabbed it and rested it on his chest.

“Hey, I’ve gotta make up for lost time. I missed seeing your beautiful face next to me for five years”, he replied in a quiet voice. You exchanged bashful smiles and he leaned in to press a loving kiss on your lips and murmured, “I love you”, against them.

You looked at him with your eyes shining in tears and jutted your bottom lip out. “I love you more, Em”, Manny giggled and squished your cheeks in between his fingers, your combined joyful laughter echoing in the still room of your own house— the house that you shared with Manny and would be sharing until you were both greying and wrinkly.

Fin.

-

AN: AAAA im so happy for them pls…I love domestic Manny so much. Hope y’all liked this mini series 🥹🩷 please like and reblog!

taglist: @taylorsroxy @parkersjoy @aomi-recs @serendipity-29 @lucycarlisleswife @laurenjbb @onmyknees4kai @groovycass @spideybrie @yvonne-dump @monselxo @this-girl-is-tired

[skellyrose]

The third post here is the most accurate description I've seen of why AI usage baffles me so much. Like, I'm an artist, a writer, and a game developer, I have 60 ideas for games, a few ideas for webcomics and books, and HUNDREDS of things I want to draw, and I haven't done a lot of it yet, but, y'know what, that's okay. I want to do it. I'm going to do it. I will ENJOY doing it. Why in the actual living FUCK would you want a soulless machine to do that stuff for you? It takes all of the joy out of it. I don't make art because I want to see the end result (that may be a part of the reason, but it's nowhere NEAR the whole), I make it for the love of the craft and the process of doing it. It makes me so happy to see other people's art, writing, music, etc, because I know a HUMAN did this. I can FEEL that a human did it. The more we make AI write/make art/make music like humans, the less we, as humans, get to do. They are engineering an age where human work, talent, and skill is undervalued and underappreciated.

Using AI means hating humanity.

I can think of no better way to say it

Edit: clarification for this, actually. AI CAN be a really useful tool that can help humanity a shitton, but the use case for AI is not making art or other creative works, the use case is jobs that humans either don't like doing, or shouldn't have to do. Automation can make human life so much easier. An ideal future would be one in which all the shitty jobs are handled by AI and other automation tools so humans have more time to do what they actually want to. AI should be taking jobs that no one wants to take, but, instead, it's taking jobs that are ENTIRELY about human expression, and the worst part is that it's just copying the homework of actual people. AI is trained on humanity, often against the will of the humans.

a writing competition i was going to participate in again this year has announced that they now allow AI generated content to be submitted

their reasoning being that "we couldn't ban it even if we wanted to, every writer already uses it anyway"

"Every writer"?

come on

[signfromeywa]

Statement and realtalk:

I have to adress something open to you, something that is going on on bluesky atm.

It is one of the reasons why my chronic illnes is flairing bad up and noramlly I would not adress this on my blog, this blog is not about drama but I feel forced to do it:

(also I don't want you to harass anyone I mentioned in this post, I just want to view my side before they try to ruin my reputation even more. I want you guys just to know my side.)

I got accused of stealing the design form Ava from other artists, coz she has a white suit on and red curls. I proofed afterwards with a statement that she exsisted LONG before I joined the Avatar fandorm. But they don't stop talking openly about my name in bad manners, dragging my name to the mud. So here is my open statement I posted on bluesky already:

Just want to say: I see you, and I see your bullying behavior towards me. How you speak about me being evil while you call me a copycat and an entitled European. You step on me even though I just PROVED that my OC is not stolen. You never stop, even a person is already on the ground. You are evil. I'm not going to stop drawing a character in a white Lab coat just because these people don't like it. I can only advise you: if you see people publicly trashing other people, keep your distance from them. Don't support bullying. I didn't do anything wrong by having my character wear a white suit in a sci-fi franchise. It's a common trope in sci-fi, just like Ghost in the Cell and Alita: Battle Angel—just examples. Pinterest is full of such examples. So why shouldn't I have a character with a white suit? It's obvious in a sci-fi movie. Why can't my character have red curls to look like me? Is that forbidden now, too? Am I no longer allowed to have red curls?

Ava is a cloned human with a cybernetic spine. She doesn't even have a kuru. She's a test subject and won't have much to do with the suit once she's out of the lab. One of the core aspects of Avatar is the aspect of artificial bodies, so its also not really something only one group of people can claim, as their "IP". I hate to openly discuss this and address it. But I won't let the perpetrators continue to bully me. They'll just continue to show their true color by continuing to publicly drag my name through the mud. I suggest we just leave each other alone from now on. I'm working on my sick note, and she's working on hers. You two should just start behaving like adults again, not like 10-year-old elementary school bullies. My proof that I designed Ava before I joinded the fandom: bsky.app/profile/ritr... Her character sheet with more infors to her origin story outside of the Fandom: bsky.app/profile/ritr... I don't know what else to say, except that I want you to stop, because I'm not going to stop drawing Ava. Just leave me alone to enjoy myself. I've been warned by so many people independently of these people, and I always form my own opinion. But they've clearly shown me that it's true: they systematically exclude people, publicly drag their names through the mud, and bully them. This has to stop. I don't want anything more. And because my name was also publicly dropped, I'm now also publicly speaking out names: It's about the bullies: Celbizarro, kingsevil, hypodriive, mapiezaddy, sabasquatch I could drop more names, but I'll leave it at this point. These people are together on an Avatar AU Discord and are united against one person. It's an echo chamber of bullies, and I want people to understand that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm peaceful and just drawing a red-haired woman in a white suit. Inspired by many sci-fi universes out there. People need to understand that similar concepts that aren't even that original, like a simple white suit in a sci-fi universe, red curls, or a clone in an Avatar universe, don't necessarily mean that anything was stolen. No attempt was ever made to clarify this with me privately or to ask about it. Why do people embrace my idea of ​​painting cloned creatures and humans? Quite simply, because it seems to have been forbidden by a certain group, and you can't forbid something so simple. It's meant to prove a point. side note: I didn't encourage anyone to be inspired by my AU. These are just people who support my idea, and I'm not saying it's unique, but I'm not going around accusing everyone of stealing it either.

here again my screenshots, that I had ava since 2018 and designed her suit 2023:

(If you wonder about my screenshot. I have a German PC I had to translate it with Google lens so everyone can understand. So I added the original and the translated version. Also the created status is newer than the last edited, coz I moved all my files to a new storage. But edited means, when I worked on it the last time in my art program. Last acces is when you view a picture in big.)

I have more old pictures and artworks from her to prove my point. I never ment to steal anything and I never did. It looks similar coz Avas look is a common look in the sci-fi franchies.

Here is also pictures, that shows that I drew white suited characters quite a while already:

Its just a trope I really enjoyed already since ages.

And here my OWN design for an adapter for her cybenetic Spine:

Also more proof how old Ava my OC is already

Even with her new suit already:

The oldest pictures I have from her:

I joyined the Avatar fandom 10 month ago on tumblr and bluesky btw (my bluesky acc is older than that, but I was not active or part if the fandom.)

The thing is, I just want my peace and I want you guys see this before you hear their bully words from somewhere. I want you to know my side. I never wanted to do harm or have a fight. I am a chronic ill person and this blog is my safe space.

I just want to be in peace!

I blocked all these people above and just want them to let me alone. They don't need to like me, but they should stop dragging names from others through dirt. Thats the worst behavior and they call ME evil and I am just trying to defend myself and try to have fun. Nothing more than that.

I hope you are not mad about me, that I shared this openly on my blog this time and I hope its the last time I have to do that. What else can I do more than just proof that my OC Ava is an old OC of mine that I've now turned into an avatar AU to have a little fun with it. Without any ulterior motives, without stealing anything, because I didn't need it, I already had the design finished, yeas ago.

I hope this is enough for me to get some peace and that I finnaly can enjoy the fandom now and they let me do my own thing. I just want to have fun with you guys drawing about my characters and enjoying the fandom. Nothing more.

Thanks to everyone who read this long post till here. I know its silly that I was even presured to adress this childish behavior of these people. Stay save and happy.

Signfromeywa/ -> RiTroxart.

[mhfkah]

I have to ask: what exactly are you hoping to accomplish with all this Viv criticism?

Trying to get through to stans is like try to break through a brick wall with a plastic bat.

Viv has said several times that she's not going to take criticism from randos online. (personally I think that's reasonable because it's just her setting personal and professional boundaries but I digress)

and if Hazbin getting approved for 4 seasons right off the bat while Helluva is also getting picked up by streaming services proves anything, it's that the critical community may as well be shouting into the void with how much effect they have on Vivziepop's success.

Like what's the end goal here? Is this just amusing to you? Is making hatred your identity really the path you wanna go down? It's never a good look...

This might come as a shock to you, but people enjoy engaging with media critically outside of HH/HB. I quite like writing altogether and find critique, dissection, and general discussion of media incredibly entertaining. I’m a writer who cares about the quality of both my work and the fidelity of that I’m engaging with— passionate critique does not equate to hatred.

I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate that I don't want to hate either show, but find it incredibly hard to enjoy either due to how senseless the writing is in both of the series. It’s cathartic to voice my opinions and concerns, regardless of if the creator actually wants to listen to criticism.

Speaking of which, your fanbase does have a direct baring on your success. Isolating yourself from any opinions from them that might be slightly negative is never a good look. The overall number of viewers and merch sales are down; this can be attributed to her refusing to listen to criticism. Even if she doesn’t want to listen to, ‘randos on the internet’, published reviews have been scathing (in regard to the writing) as well. If she isn’t going to listen to her fans directly (even though she has no problem snapping at them on Bluesky), then who is she going to listen to?

If you want the simple answer: I’m doing this because I love it. I’m passionate about the media I’m into, and will voice my thoughts whenever I feel it’s necessary. This is not the first time I’ve been so harsh on something I liked. I am not the type to baselessly hate; my critique comes from a place of care.

[perseephoneee]

you always did like clint eastwood [kol mikaelson x f!reader]

↳ masterlist  ↳ ship exchange information ↳ taglist

synopsis: you and kol get stuck in 1800's western america

cw: era typical violence, surface level wild west research

authors note: this fic is for my friend (who wishes to remain anonymous) as a delayed birthday gift hehe. love you darling.

Understanding Kol Mikaelson was like a rainbow; sometimes it happened, but rarely ever. And when you really saw him, you found a sort of beauty people would never see. Today was not a rainbow day. Today was actually a really, really bad day. 

You're tired of being the Mikaelson's go-to witch. All it does is ruin your day and cause you too many bumps and bruises. And then there's Kol…Kol, who enjoys teasing you but will never let you get close enough to see what's going on beneath. It makes it hard to trust him. But you really need to trust him, especially right now. Because the latest spell in Klaus' hair-brained schemes has caused both you and Kol to end up in 1800s western America. Right in cowboy country. 

You really could kill him. 

If he hadn't distracted you, this portal spell wouldn't have sent you here. Instead, it would've brought something useful to you. But now you're stuck in an era where they really hate women, and they really hate witches. 

"I'm going to kill you," you hiss out. You're blinking back at the sun shining high above you. You're standing under the entrance of 'Willowbrooks'– a western town from Kol's understanding. The dust swirls around your feet and gets in your throat, not helping your sour mood. It didn't help that the name sounded familiar; you were trying to think about why.

"It could be worse," Kol laughed. He put a hand over his eyes as he observed a vulture flying overhead. "I never had the chance to be a proper cowboy."

"Probably for the best. You'd be a nightmare."

"I take offense to that," Kol smirked. "C'mon."

"To where?"

"This sign might be here, but that town is still a while away. We should get there before nightfall," Kol started walking without you, and you groaned as you ran to keep up. He would occasionally whistle, which would only aggravate your mood. Sometimes, he shared a joke that would make you wish for a quick death from wherever you were heading. Your walk took the rest of the day into the evening until you eventually entered an old western town. You both stuck out like sore thumbs. Kol, ever the lover of breaking the rules, immediately went toward a clothesline at the back of a building. He tossed you some articles of clothing haphazardly, with you barely catching them. 

"What are you doing?" you whisper, afraid to raise your voice. Kol starts undressing before you, and you quickly avert your gaze. 

"Blending in," he replies. You catch a glance at his body, abdomen toned in a way that wasn't entirely fair. Your cheeks burn as you look away. Standing around waiting for him to be done seemed foolish, so you find another place to hide as you quickly dress. The clothes didn't exactly fit, but you made it work. It was just a simple blue blouse with a long tiered skirt. You kept your combat boots, hoping that no one would notice. You didn't want to worry about locating your shoe size as well. By the time you went back to Kol, he was also clothed. Between the dark blue tunic and the black vest, he looked like the kinda devilish character that you'd want to avoid in one of these old Western movies. But to you, he was the safest thing around. 

"If anyone asks, darling," he gives you a look. "You're my wife, and we're visiting on our way to see family."

"If I'm your wife, don't expect me to be too nice about it," you smile. He just grins, fangs flashing. 

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Going to a saloon seemed stupid and cliche, but the only inn in Willowbrooks happened to be a saloon. You followed behind Kol, and despite his cavalier attitude about your adventure, he kept close to you and seemed to be observing everything that moved. He didn't feel safe here either. 

Unlike the movies, the saloon didn't come to a grinding halt when you both entered. A few stares were thrown your way, but fortunately, it wasn't as dramatic. You forgot that Kol lived in this time, which you guess was helpful because you probably would've gotten yourself killed if you were alone. He sidled up to the bar with no problem and requested a room, slipping into a western drawl that you didn't realize he had in him. You tried to observe your surroundings without being suspicious. Above the bar, a piece of paper advertised the special as a drink called "coffin varnish," which sounded as appetizing as one could imagine. The smell of the establishment left a lot to be desired and made you miss the glory of modern plumbing. But the thing that caught your eye was the glittering sheriff badge on a man sitting at the other end of the counter. He was in hushed conversation with another, maybe a deputy or just a friend, but you still managed to overhear some of it. 

"That damn Foley coven is getting on my nerves," the sheriff sighed, taking a swig of dark liquid. "Especially Elizabeth. It's bad for business."

"Lincoln already freed the damn slaves; what else do they want from us?" the other man shook his head, looking at his cup. 

"Easy. They want our heads," the sheriff chuckled, but it was an empty laugh of a tired man. 

"Whatcha going to do?"

"What I always do," the sheriff finished off his drink. "Take care of it."

You jolted as Kol wrapped an arm around your waist, distracting you from your eavesdropping. He raised a brow but didn't say anything, and you gave him a look that you'd tell him later. He took the hint and nodded towards the stairs that led to the rooms, with you following behind. The floor creaked beneath your feet as you ascended to your room, a tiny thing at the end of the hall with a washroom across from it. You sighed as you saw the one bed, but didn't have the mental capacity to deal with it. 

"This must be like one of your romance novels," Kol snorts as he takes in your tiny room. You sat down at the edge, undoing your shoes and ignoring him. "What, no witty comeback?"

"What if we're here for a reason?" you question, the thought circling your brain since leaving the bar. 

"What reason, this was a spell gone wrong," Kol leaned against the wall, looking at you inquisitively. 

"The sheriff down there wants to take out a coven of witches in the area, the Foley coven," you sat forward, hands on your knees. "I thought the name of this town sounded familiar, and now I remember why. The Foleys wanted to free the rest of the slaves on the western frontier, in addition to giving women more opportunities to work. But the town of Willowbrooks didn't want that. They ended up burning the head of the coven and set the two parties into a civil war. No one knew what happened to the Foley witches, and even today, if you visit the town, it's a ghost town. Literally."

"And this concerns us…?" 

"What if we're here to stop the fight from happening, to save a witch?" you looked at him, hope and fury in your eyes. "What if that's how we get home? By righting a past wrong?"

"You read too many stories," Kol sighed, running a hand over his face. 

"I don't know if we can save the witch that burns, maybe we aren't meant to. But I can't shake the feeling that we're here for a reason, and my witch's sense hasn't led me wrong yet." Kol continues to look at you with hesitation and tiredness. As you know, it wasn't in his nature to help. You were going to make him do it anyway. "Please?"

The internal battle waging war in Kol's mind made his eyes cloudy as he thought about what you said. He swore under his breath and ran a hand through his hair. 

"We can…talk to the witches tomorrow," Kol said. "But we might not be able to change anything. Okay, darling?"

"Okay," you smiled, without malice for once since landing in this shitty town. "And Kol?" He looked at you. "Don't get handsy in the bed, or I'll cut them off." 

He grinned. 

~

Kol didn't touch you during the night, although he snored, which was fairly annoying. You woke up to the sight of him curled into a tight ball on the other side as if he was stopping himself from intruding on your personal space. It was the most respectful thing you've ever seen him do. 

By the time he woke, you had gotten dressed in some clothes you had stolen from another room (sorry, unsuspecting patron) and used the wash basin across the hall. You still felt dirty, and the heat from outside wasn't helpful, but it was better than nothing. You wish you could have a toothbrush, though. You also ventured downstairs to the main saloon. You tried to be inconspicuous when asking where the closest food place was. Fortunately, they had a kitchen right in the establishment, and you were able to eat some eggs, beef, and beans. You even had coffee, even if it tasted like dirt water. You debated saving something for Kol but remembered he wouldn't want any. 

You came back up the stairs to him, still lounging in bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Planning to stay here all day?" you inquired, leaning against the doorframe. He smiled at you, not as flirtatious as usual. "What's wrong?" you narrowed your eyes. Kol wasn't usually this silent. 

"It's…strange," he shrugged as best he could while lying down. 

"Strange?"

"Being in the past," Kol sat up a little bit. He had taken the vest off before bed, and the blue shirt underneath was crumpled with sleep. "I've forgotten so much of it."

You take pause at that statement. "Do you remember much of your life?"

"Bits and pieces, like anyone looking back on childhood, I suppose," Kol played with the bedsheets between his fingers. "I… don't think I was very nice during this era."

He sounds so sad about it, and the feeling leaves an uncomfortable ache in your chest. Was it regret in his voice? Or just commentary about who he was. Sometimes, you couldn't understand whether Kol was warning you away from him or explaining his actions. His statement also came with the startling realization that of the Mikaelsons, he was the one you feared the least. Strange considering his reputation, but it was knowledge you tucked deep inside for later. 

"I think you're nice," you shrugged. Kol looked at you with barely veiled surprise. "I mean, you kept to yourself while we were sleeping. That was pretty nice."

Kol grinned at that, and it made you smile. There was the devilish vampire you remember. 

You departed quickly after that, making your way to the outskirts of town. Relying on your own sixth sense, you allowed yourself to be drawn to the magic farther past the confines of Willowbrooks. Kol made up for his somber morning mood by singing 'Cotton-Eyed Joe.' It was the first time on the trip you wished for a white oak stake so you could stab him. 

You stopped atop a hill and narrowed your eyes at a dilapidated building below. 

"That's where the witches are," you pointed. Kol put his hands on his hips. 

"Well, darling," he sighed. "Let's meet your brethren."

You walked up to the building, the sun beating against you. You felt sweat beading on your forehead, rolling down your cheeks and not helping your already disgusting appearance. When you approached the door, you did what any sensible person would do– you knocked. 

"Very polite," Kol murmured. 

"Shut up."

The door opened, but no one stood behind it. You cautiously entered, taking in the darkness. You gasped as all at once, hundreds of candles flickered to life. A small group of women huddled in the corner, their faces illuminated by the flames. The one closest to the door, an older woman with braided long white hair and eyes the color of storms, stepped forward

"We've been expecting you," she smiled. 

~

The woman was revealed to be Elizabeth Foley, the one the sheriff (who you learned to be named Sheriff Dunn) had complained about the day before. Apparently, one of the witches foretold the two of you showing up that day. You should really be less surprised. 

"There has to be a way to stop this before too many innocent lives are lost," you said, sitting at a wooden table with Elizabeth. She ground a mix of herbs with a mortar and pestle. 

"Innocent lives will always be lost as long as men are involved," Elizabeth said, glancing at Kol. He stood by the wall, watching the other witches work around him. He seemed uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry for bringing a vampire into your home," you apologized. Elizabeth grabbed your hand, squeezing lightly. 

"I do not fear him, neither should you."

You didn't know how to respond to that. 

"I will go into the town tomorrow and talk with the Sheriff," Elizabeth returned to grinding her herbs. 

"He'll kill you."

"Perhaps," Elizabeth shrugged. You found her to be rather calm despite the circumstances. "But this town isn't lost yet. Perhaps it will take someone like you and your friend to convince them of that."

You went back to the inn by nightfall, finding yourself staring up at the ceiling instead of Kol this time. Maybe you both had issues with dissociating. Kol flopped on the bed next to you a second later. 

"What do you think she meant by 'convincing the town?'" you turned to look at him. His hands were tucked behind his head, causing his shirt to slide up a bit. You ignored the sight. 

"Get them to stop the sheriff? Who knows" Kol quirked a brow. 

"But it might not stop a witch from dying."

Kol had nothing to say to that, and you didn't expect him to. You chewed your lip in thought. Eventually, you turned on your side to face him. 

"Thank you," you murmured. He glanced at you.

"For what?"

"For helping me."

"I just want to get home," Kol snorted.

"I don't believe that," you replied, shaking your head. Kol looked at you, warmth in his otherwise dark gaze. 

"You always see the best in people, don't you?"

"I have to," you glanced away. "Otherwise, no one else will."

Kol turned to face you, brows furrowed in thought. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen across your face, tucking it delicately behind your ear. The warmth from his fingers made you close your eyes. His hand went to your neck, grazing the collarbone before dancing over your shoulder. You tried to keep your breathing even as he lightly touched you.

"Do you see any good in me?" he whispered as if afraid to ask the question. You opened your eyes, looking at the furrow of his brow to heavy lashes as he refused to make eye contact. 

"I do," you hummed. "When you let me."

That seemed to settle something within Kol, who leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. It was barely anything, but you leaned into it, and that was enough to let him get rid of his reservations. His hand cupped your face, disrupting the hair he had been so gentle to tuck away. Your hand went to his waist, feeling the skin you had pretended not to eye earlier. You let out a gasp as his teeth nipped your lower lip, deepening what was already becoming something you knew you wouldn't want to run away from. Kissing Kol felt like a slow fire burning within you, growing in size until the only thing you could feel was his touch and his tongue on your body. His lips traveled along your jaw, kissing the delicate skin of your neck. Your mouth parted as blunt fangs dragged along the skin, nipping at your collarbone. You wished he would leave a mark. 

Kol couldn't stay away from your lips for long and returned to them with a fervor that insinuated that he'd been waiting to do this for some time. You let yourself be pulled on top of him as he rolled onto his back, his lips never leaving yours. You parted to breathe, nose nudging his and safety flooding your body as his arms wrapped securely around you. 

"Kol," you whispered. He hummed thoughtfully. Your hands brushed through his hair. "I've always seen you."

He grinned, kissing your cheek. "I know, darling. I know."

~

Unlike the night before, you let Kol hold you that night. You woke in warmth and a sense of belonging you'd been hoping for for a while. You didn't know what to expect today about the town of Willowbrooks, but you knew you wouldn't be alone through its trials. 

When you stepped outside, the town was already waiting with bated breath. Elizabeth stood facing down Sheriff Dunn, her skirt billowing around her ankles and her gaze steely. Sheriff Dunn glared. 

"Let this go, William," Elizabeth said. She seemed unhurried in her approach. "This town has suffered enough."

"Suffered because of creatures like you."

"No," she smiled, a faint thing. "Because of people like you."

The town shuffled uncomfortably on their feet, unsure what to do. You and Kol circled closer. 

"Elizabeth Foley, I charge you with crimes of disrupting the peace, and punishment must be served," Dunn announced, reverberating across the desert. Elizabeth didn't look shocked by this at all. You watched as Dunn removed his belt, wrapping it around his hands. Elizabeth got down on her knees, and you started forward. Kol grabbed your arm, yanking you back. 

"What are you doing?" you hissed, his grip a vice.

"You can't stop this, not by running forward."

"She's going to be tortured."

"It'll be worse if you intervene," Kol looked around at the people around you. You looked as well and took in the faces of horror and fear flickering across everyone's expressions. A half-baked idea started to form in your head just as the first whip sounded. Elizabeth didn't scream, even as the blood started to show on her shirt. Not even as Sheriff Dunn hit a second and third time. You watched the townspeople flinch, people of different backgrounds and colors watching with a tension that only came with disagreement. You wrenched your arm out of Kol's grip and approached the citizens. 

"Are you really going to stand by and watch as this man continues to hold your freedom hostage?" you exclaimed, voice loud. People looked at you in shock, Kol included. "When this woman is fighting for all men and women, regardless of circumstance, to have the same rights as the white man?"

"She is ready to take the belt if it means protecting people like you, people who never protected her," Kol yelled, joining you in your protest. He sent you a wink as he faced the other side of the town. 

"You have the power to do something! You have the power to put your foot down!" You walked closer, making a point to look at each person individually. You saw a few nods, and you let your voice get louder. Each exclamation between you and Kol drowned out the held-in whimpers of Elizabeth and the sound of the cracking skin. You watched the light ignite within more and more people and, for once, started feeling actual hope. 

It wasn't until Elizabeth was a heap on the ground, barely holding herself up, that the sound of a rifle being cocked reverberated throughout the courtyard. One of the men was aiming at the sheriff, who looked at him in shock. 

"That's enough, William. Let her go."

"Let us go," another man said, his own belt off and wrapped in his hands. More people kept joining in, saying similar sentiments. Sheriff Dunn hissed, stepping away from the approaching mob. He reached for his own gun, but the sound of several others being pointed his way was enough to set him running instead. As dozens of townspeople chased after him, you watched in satisfaction as metaphorical pitchforks arose. You spent only a second in that feeling before rushing towards Elizabeth. You slumped on the ground, pulling her into your arms. 

"Elizabeth," you gasped, your hands covered in the blood seeping through her clothes. She looked up at you with dazed eyes, her hand coming up to cup your cheek. 

"You did it, sweet girl."

"I-I didn't do anything," you stammered. 

"You brought hope," she coughed. "The most precious gift of them all."

Kol ran up next to you, biting into his wrist as he skidded to a stop next to Elizabeth.

"Drink," he demanded. "Let us help you."

"I don't need your blood, Mikaelson," she chuckled. You don't remember telling her his name. "My coven can heal me just fine. It's time for you two to go."

"Go? How?" you inquired, looking at Kol. He shrugged. 

"Take care of her," Elizabeth said to Kol, nodding. 

You couldn't get another word in as you felt your body dissipate into sparkling atoms. By the time you re-materialized, you were back in the Mikaelson compound. Rebekah startled from her place on the couch, glancing at the two of you, hand-in-hand on the ground. She took in both of your outfits and snorted. 

"Well, Kol," she drawled. "You always did like Clint Eastwood."

[loganofthenorth]

I KNOW RIGHT!?!

People are like: Remember when we were kids and our biggest problem was what to choose as our favorite colour?

And I'm like: ???

I don't know what your childhood was like, but I remember having zero autonomy and getting in trouble when I tried to figure out where we were going when my parents dragged me places

Like imagine if your land lord told you to get in the car and would pick you up and place you into the car if you refused

And most of the time they just like bring you to target or whatever

(I was Autistic and disabled however so that brings new flavours of hell into my childhood but I'm not talking about that rn)

But sometimes they brought you to a small white room where a stranger would proceeded to poke you for five minutes with various tools before talking to your parents for an hour while you had to sit there, often alone with your own anxieties, and wait

Or sometimes it was to their friends house where you don't know the rules and you have to stay still and we're only going to be here for a few minutes so don't sit down and the friend has a cat that's trying to get attention from you but you're allergic to cats and afraid of them so you step away and your parents tell you not to worry it's fine then one hour later they're still talking and you're still avoiding getting your already sore legs scratched up by this cat you don't know

And I was lucky and had parents that loved together and worked relatively well together. There was the common occurrence of one parent getting mad at me out of nowhere for doing something the other parent told me to do, which was frightening and frustrating, but I've known kids with divorced parents and that adds a whole new layer of stress.

Imagine being dragged around by two separate adults and the law now has a say in what house you're spending what nights at and you have like no say in the matter until you turn twelve.

And then when your family moves to a new place and you're just expected to completely drop your life and get a new one

Like you have no control over your life as a kid

Choosing a favorite colour as a kid was not your biggest concern

It was the coping mechanism

Trying to find out who we are as people is the one thing we have control over as children. Unfortunately some kids don't even get to have that, because they might like colours or toys or stories that they aren't 'allowed to' because of their gender, race, etc.

Like don't get me wrong, shits hard right now. I'm in a mental health rut at the moment so I often feel restrained in my room while the world moves around me and I hate it.

But if I had the energy, I could get a job, and start saving money to have a place of my own one day.

I can talk to people I want to talk to and no one is going to force me to hug a stranger if I don't feel comfortable around them

I have more resources and knowledge to work with than I used to and it makes it far easier to communicate with others

And you can still think about your favorite colour as an adult

I hate that people put age boundaries on fun.

You don't have to be dragged around by adults anymore. Get a colouring book of your favorite characters or something and watch your favourite shows. Have something you enjoy eating in your meals.

The world is on fire, capitalism has us on a choke hold, and burn out is the fucking worse. But I still prefer this flavour of hell over the one where I am at the mercy of the whims of the giants around me, who actually have no idea what they're doing either btw. I know that now that I'm one of them and it's fucking terrifying.

My favourite colours are blue and yellow btw

What are yours?

A friend has once again brought it to my attention that it is unusual to have an intact chronological memory of life prior to age 12 and you know what’s weird to ME is that the rest of yall forgot how to sing the clean-up song

[fuckedupfate]

𓂃 ۶ৎ   ﹕ WELCOME BACK , ANGEL.

leading roles ﹕ dean winchester , sam winchester , ange (aka angel!reader)

notices ﹕ none .ᐟ (don't think you're safe from the smut takeover though. you'll never be.) author's entry ﹕ quick little fic for the comeback season of my writing *everybody screams and cheers*. i'm going to be feeding you guys SO many fics this week (and maybe even next week 🙈) i'm soooo happy to be able to provide for you all again!! and i've been meaning to add another part to the angel!reader series since i began it, so here we are!! (i'm cooking up some more as well) credits ﹕ i owe the layout credits to the lovely @deansbeer , you need to stop cooking so hard with the layouts because i cannot handle them!!

you have been with the winchester’s now for a few days. you had stayed with them in a motel room, throughout a mission, and despite dean wishing you hadn’t, it was harder to tell her to leave that he had hoped for. you stayed inside the room, sitting naturally and unmoving in a chair, not at sleeping—dean and sam knew that you wouldn’t, as angels don’t sleep—but it was unnerving. to live the same period of time which they had with castiel at the beginning of meeting him, again. but with a different angel. a new angel. 

but now, instead of being with them in a crappy, dingy motel, you’re in their bunker. after a long, but short, argument between sam and dean, dean finally caved. allowing you to come with them to the bunker, but only if you kept out of their business. which meant no hunts. just stay inside the bunker, and keep out of everything. 

listen, it isn’t as if dean hated the poor girl. no. he was just.. used to angels being absolute dicks. complete—and utter—dicks. so he was—and is—wary around her. making sure you’re not conspiring anything. not whispering stuff into the angel radio about them. but you’re not. you’re just as confused, intrigued, and interested, about how the human world works now that you’re on it. now that you’re amongst humankind, and an youl, you’re trying to figure out the differences between the two worlds. between the homosapiens and the celestial beings. 

now sam, well.. he was more welcoming to you. much more kinder, more gentler, than dean. he was more than happy to explain how certain objects and gadgets worked, especially the ones in the bunker, along with the ones out in the world. more than happy to explain the sayings that humans say, along with the references of shows, movies, and songs, dean and he happen to make. and, plus, he enjoys the curiosity and confusion that fills your expression and eyes as you look at him while he’s explaining something, or when someone has said something that you don’t understand. it’s cute. really. he enjoys it. he enjoys talking to you, explaining to you about what something does, or what something means. and he enjoys the softness you bring. he feels calm around you. 

you’re like a newborn giraffe. stumbling and learning how to walk, but with.. everything the human’s have to offer. you were staring at dean in complete awe as he made burgers. looking at him like he was some sort of wizard. well, to you, he was. he was doing something you haven’t ever seen before. the process of cooking. amazing and never seen by you. and when he turned to see you standing right beside him, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, head tilted. of course at first he was stunned to see you standing right there, not having expected it, but then he just gave a slight smile and a raised brow. asking you simply, “what’re you staring at, huh?”, while your eyes then just flicked up to him. “how did that…” your words trailed off but he saw the way you looked to the raw patty which was sat on a plate beside him and then to the cooking one, which were two completely different shades, even though you were sure that they were the same items. though despite knowing what you were trying to say, he wanted to play with you instead. “how did what?” he coaxed, a small smirk on his lips as he watched as you tried to gather your words on how to explain it. “that was… that—it was.. pink and now it.. isn’t?” he stops himself from just laughing at your confusion, knowing that’ll get you even more confused on why he’s laughing at her. “it’s called cooking.” is all he had said, simple and short. earning a more confused, though curious, expression to form on her face. “...cooking?” you questioned back, looking at him expectantly. and he knew what exactly what he was about to retaliate with, a now cocky smirk forming on his lips. “yeah. sam’ll explain more about it. why don’t you go ask him?” he said, smug and cocky. and he knew exactly what you were going to do.  you heard those words. 'why don’t you go ask him?' it was a smart idea. you all but nodded and happily walked out, prancing your way out of the kitchen and beginning to find sam. and when you did you asked about what cooking was, which left him a tad confused at the sudden, and slightly random, question, but he understood why you were asking when you mentioned that dean had been doing it and said that sam would explain it for you. which, of course, had him subtly rolling his eyes at how dean just sent you over to him to explain, but he couldn’t deny that he very much enjoys explaining things to you.

tag, you're it ﹕ @littlesoulshine @h8aaz @multiversefanfics @blossomingorchids ⟆ transportation ! ∿ missed the openers? don't worry, read them here! ∿ quickie back to the hub ∿ be in charge of a fic! ∿ join the game of tag!

[fabbyf1]

There's another argument on Twitter about the fact that Lestappen don't have a lore and that's why fanfiction with them is boring and in general the people who write it are delusional 😭 How do I stop reacting to this?? You seem very collected and calm, maybe you have some advice???

oh lord...

i think my number one advice on how to be unbothered by things like this, is to rememer that it literally doesn't matter what anybody thinks of your hobbies, your interests, your fascinations, etc. you can like something that nobody else likes. you can be interested in something that doesn''t have a huge following. but more importantly, it works in reverse.

i know a lot of people think it's "uncool" to like popular things, but i am here to tell you: LIKE THE DAMN THING ANYWAY. who cares if it's the most popular, bandwagony thing to do? if it brings you joy, fuck what anybody has to say. listen to the most popular music. read the best selling book. make the number 1 tv show and movie your entire personality. who the fuck cares?

life is so short, bestie. you gotta like what you like, and be unapologetic about it.

if someone doesn't like what you like, you gotta let it roll off your back. it leaves more space for you to enjoy the thing. if you like something, that's all that matters.

if reading a thread on twitter is bumming you out, log off.

if someone is sending you anon hate on tumblr, turn off your asks.

if someone is shaming you in real life for liking popular things, tell them to fuck off (only if it's safe to do so. don't put yourself in harms way just to defend your hobbies. if you feel physically unsafe to tell someone off in real life, just smile and ignore it and know that it literally doesn't change how you feel about The Thing)

tl;dr log off twitter and like whatever you want

[triptuckers]

lighthouse - cassian andor

Request: nope Pairing: cassian andor x reader Summary: after an undercover mission nearly ends very badly, you and cassian finally come to terms with what you are to each other Warnings: fighting, blaster shots, injuries, bruises, angst Word count: 3,2K A/N: listen. we need more cassian fics that aren't smut so rejoice !! my andor obsession is back in full force and I also read a book that shook me to my core so this is inspired by my love for cassian and a line I read. enjoy!

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you and cassian have been... something for a while. you don't know exactly what, but you're sure you're not just fellow rebels. it's in the lingering glances, the brushing of his fingers against yours, how he sometimes looks at you so intensely but never ends up saying anything. you'd learnt he wasn't a man of many words, but the ones he did speak always rang true.

you keep telling yourself you'll talk to him. after the next mission. then you'll pull him to the side and speak with him about whatever you were to each other.

but there's always another one. always a next mission. the rebellion is fast paced. people are sent off to the very ends of the outer rim, you learn to sleep when you can, and you're always looking over your shoulder.

but you know what you're fighting for, and you want to do your part.

luthen, who recruited you a while back, has noticed how well you and cassian work together, so you're often sent on missions together.

even though you know you shouldn't want this many missions, you'd rather see this war come to an end, you couldn't help but be at least a little pleased you could do them with cassian.

today isn't any different.

once again you tell yourself after this mission, you'll talk to cassian. about what's going on in his head when he can't tear his eyes off of you during a briefing.

your mission is simple. you and cassian are to infiltrate some fancy invitation only event, make your way one of the countless offices in the building, find a string of passcodes, and get the hell out without getting yourself shot at.

you'd done it a thousand times before. this wouldn't be any different or any harder.

how wrong you were.

it started well, despite your uncomfortable shoes. you hated dress codes but you had no choice this time. you would stand out in your comfortable clothes - very recognisable as a rebel or at the very least, someone who did not belong at such an event.

you only got distracted by the art hung on the walls for a short while.

when you were younger, you were very fond of your uncle. he'd travel the galaxy and come back with stories. as a child, you'd promised him that one day you'd collect stories of your own.

for a while, you did. you'd hear stories from people you'd meet, they'd tell you about their cultures, their art, their traditions, their history. you loved hearing those stories and passing them along.

cassian often listened to them when the two of you were traveling to the next mission.

when you slowed your pace walking past an interesting looking sculpture, it was cassian who nudged you to keep on walking. your time window was short, and there was little room for stalling.

once you find the right office, cassian keeps an eye out while you sit at the imperial's desk to find the passcodes. thanks to some good intel, it doesn't take you long to find them.

you quickly copy them, then join cassian at the door. the corridor appears to be empty when cassian looks around the corner. nevertheless, you bend down to get your blaster out of your leg holster.

'put it away.' says cassian.

'you've got your blaster out.' you observe.

'yes because I can tuck it back in my pants.'

'and?'

'and you can't very well subtly bend down to put yours back, can you?'

'I could if-'

'no time. put it away.'

other people would get offended by his sharp tone, but you know cassian. he's focused on the mission now. on getting out quickly and efficiently.

you make a show of putting your blaster back in your holster. telling him if you get shot because you can't return fire, it would be his fault. cassian merely rolls his eyes at you as he exits the office.

you follow him out, forcing yourself not to run. if anything would be suspicious it's two people suddenly breaking in full sprint.

cassian walks ahead of you towards the hangar where you'd stashed your ship. as he rounds a corner, you nearly bump into him as he suddenly stops walking.

you're confused for a moment when you catch him hiding his blaster, then see the imperial officer in front of him.

'you two are far from the party.' the man says.

you're quick to walk up to cassian's side and wrap a hand around his bicep.

'is there a problem, sir?' you say, choosing to play the part of confused partyguest.

'this corridor is off limits to guests.' says the imperial officer.

you give cassian's arm a quick squeeze, letting him know not to interfere with your plan.

'we're so sorry, officer, my husband and I were looking for the washroom.' you say, smiling at the man.

but instead of waving you off, he narrows his eyes at your hand on cassian's arm.

'I don't see a ring.'

'it's not part of our culture.'

'and there are clear signs pointing to the washroom.'

'there are? we must have missed them.'

'I'll ask again, what are you two doing this far from the party?'

you notice cassian tensing up beside you. it wouldn't be easy to convince this man you're supposed to be here.

the imperial officer takes out his comm device to alert someone else but cassian acts quickly, swiftly punching the man in the nose.

'there goes our last chance at this being a stealth mission.' you sigh, following cassian as he takes off.

you watch as cassian pulls out his blaster again. you quickly bend down to retrieve yours as well, stopping for a few seconds, then run to catch up with him.

while rounding a corner, you nearly twist your ankle. you loudly curse your forced choice of footwear. meanwhile, cassian is ahead of you.

'hurry up!' he yells over his shoulder.

'you try running in four inch heels!' you snap back at him.

as you're barrelling your way through countless corridors, forgoing all attempts at stealth, you nearly fall again.

you groan in frustration, shoot a look over your shoulder and deem it safe enough. you could take off your shoes quickly. it'll only be a second.

'are you fucking serious?' cassian shouts as he sees you yanking off your shoes.

'would you rather I break my legs?' you yell.

cassian reaches out and pulls you up as you duck to avoid blaster fire. the imperials had caught up with you.

you're so close to the ship, you push yourself a little faster. you're on cassian's heels as he enters the ship.

right as you enter the ship, a pair of blaster shots hit their mark. you feel a searing hot pain across your ribs as you hit the button to close the door to the ship.

cassian, who heard you yell out in pain, worriedly looks at you but you wave him off.

'fly the ship!' you yell.

your priority right now was to get the codes to the rebels. it wasn't your life. it was the brutal reality of the rebellion.

cassian seems to realise this as well. he takes one last look at you, before taking off towards the cockpit.

you press a hand to your side as you lay on your back, focusing on your breathing.

you close your eyes. you know that's not a smart thing to do, so you permit yourself three deep breaths. then you'd open your eyes again. you feel the humming of the ship beneath you as cassian flies away from imperial territory. you breathe through the pain, not daring to move, in fear of making your injury worse.

suddenly you feel a hard shove and open your eyes. cassian's worried eyes look into yours.

'I thought you died.' he says.

'good morning to you, too.' you grumble. 'I closed my eyes for a second. why aren't you flying the ship?'

'we're in hyperspace.' cassian says. 'that wasn't a second.'

you frown, then try to sit up to look at your ribs. immediately, a sharp pain shoots through your body and you fall back again.

cassian goes quiet as he runs off to get a medkit.

unceremoniously, he uses a knife to rip a part of your dress off. in any other circumstance you'd be appalled. but this was war. everyone needed to act quickly all the time, there was no time for modesty.

your eyes focus on the ceiling of the ship as cassian works on bandaging your ribs. you feel him poking around, checking your injury. you wince when it hurts too much and cassian mumbles an apology.

you close your eyes, but cassian pokes your cheek with his finger. you make an annoyed sound.

'don't sleep.' he says firmly.

if you were anyone else you would have found his harsh tone rude. but you've known cassian for a while now. you detect the undertone of worry.

'i'm okay.' you say, but you feel yourself slipping. a nap did sound very good.

cassian pokes you again.

'cassian.' you grumble.

'stay awake. I mean it.' he says. 'I'm nearly done.'

you're desperately trying to stay awake, when cassian speaks again.

'count down from three.' he instructs.

'why?'

'do it.'

you sigh, then count down.

when you're at two, cassian firmly secures the bandage around your rips, making you cry out in pain. you'd been shot before, but this was much more painful than any other time.

you let out a string of curses as cassian checks the bandages.

the sharp pain had weakened to a dull, throbbing pain. it was annoying and consistent, but hurt less than before.

'you need rest.' says cassian.

'i'm fine here.'

'you're not sleeping not on the ground.'

'i've had worse.'

'no.'

cassian leaves little room for argument.

you feel how he carefully slips one arm behind your back and the other under your knees. he may not have a very muscular build at first glance, but he lifts you without much visible struggle. the movement intensifies your pain and you try to blink the feeling away.

you desperately try to stay awake, to commit this feeling of being in cassian's arms to memory. but your eyelids are just so heavy.

cassian carefully sets you down on one of the cots on the ship.

'now you can rest.' you hear him say.

you want to thank him for taking care of you, but you're already asleep seconds later.

the journey back to base takes a couple of days. cassian has to take a creative route to make sure you're not leading imperials to the rebels. occasionally, you wake when cassian comes to check on you. he helps you drink water and you try to eat something, but most of the time you just sleep.

cassian is being even more silent than he usually is. you can tell his mind is racing. you want to ease his thoughts, but there never seems to be the right time to talk.

when cassian wakes you a couple of days later, you've made it back to base.

he helps you sit up. you insist on being able to walk on your own. but one attempt at pushing yourself up from your sitting position shows you can't.

cassian supports the biggest part of your weight as he slowly takes you from the hangar to your room.

you had a private room, which was a luxury. people you pass in the hallways send you worried looks, but they know cassian would explain it all in the debriefing.

with a series of practiced taps, cassian unlocks the door to your room and helps you inside. he carefully puts you down on your own cot and turns around to leave so he can give his debriefing of the mission as quickly as possible.

'cass.' you say, nearly asleep already.

his ears perk up. you've rarely called him that. the first time you did, it caught him off guard and you interpreted his surprised look as a sign he didn't want you calling him that. quite the opposite. he loved it.

'what's up?' he says softly.

'thank you.' you say.

'of course.'

'did I ever tell you you're my lighthouse, cass?'

he frowns at your words. what is a lighthouse? but before he can as you about it, you've fallen asleep. he decides to let you. he knows there's people waiting on him, and you need your rest.

cassian walks back to the room he's expected to give his debriefing of the mission. he thinks about your words on his way, but forces himself to think of the mission when he enters the room.

the debrief itself is short. he passes the copied codes along to someone else, so they can work with them. cassian updates everyone on your condition, and has a medical droid sent to your room to check on you.

then he sets off to find brasso. he's convinced he would know what a lighthouse is. but brasso can't give him an explanation, only his best guess. bix also doesn't know.

just as cassian is searching for will to ask him about the term, he runs into luthen, who has a new mission for him already.

cassian knows you'd be irritated with him if he'd stay back for your sake. you both know the importance of the rebellion. he doesn't want to leave you behind, but he does as he's asked.

the mission doesn't take him very far. he's joined by a handful of others. though he's only gone for a couple of days, he worries about you.

so when he returns, he immediately goes to your room, letting someone else handle the debriefing this time.

but when he opens the door, something's off. your room is empty and it smells of cleaning supplies. the bed is made way too neatly for you to have done it.

panic seizes him as he quickly makes his way to the small medbay.

one of the medical droids says you haven't been in since cassian left for his mission. they don't know where you are.

it's one of the new recruits that tells cassian you're probably outside.

their current base is located on a forest planet. the trees provide cover for your ships and base. cassian knew it was similar to your home planet, and you missed it dearly. you often spoke about your childhood home, and the big garden you loved when you were a child.

the feeling of panic slowly disappears as cassian makes his way to the back of the base, where the forest was blooming and green.

sure enough, he finds you sitting in a patch of grass rather than one of the benches. steam rises from a cup of tea in your hand. your head is tilted upwards, catching rays of sunshine on your face.

he closes his eyes and sighs softly. you were alright. just reconnecting with nature.

cassian walks up to you. you've got more color on your face than the last time he saw you, a good sign.

he wants to tell you he's so glad you're okay. he also wants to scold you for not being in your room when he got back, scaring him like crazy. but instead, a questions comes out when he speaks.

'what's a lighthouse?'

'you're back!' you say, turning around and then wincing, pressing a hand to your side. it seems you hadn't completely healed just yet.

cassian walks up to you and sits down beside you, accepting your hug. he looks at you with another one of his piercing gazes.

as you look at his face - searching for any injuries - it takes you a while to register his question from before. you'd been sleeping the pain off a lot, and sometimes your mind was a little foggy.

'I never told you?' you say.

cassian shakes his head.

'well. I was going to tell you all of this eventually. after the next mission, I kept telling myself.' you say, glancing at the trees ahead of you. 'but I thought that blaster shot would be my last.'

'it takes more than a few blaster shots to take us down.' says cassian.

you smile at his words.

'a lighthouse is a tall building on the edge of an ocean.' you explain. 'I saw the ruins of one once.'

'so I'm a tall building?' says cassian, not understanding.

'it was meant for sailors. if a boat would be out on sea and it was dark, the lighthouse would guide them back to dry land. keep them save, bring them home.' you say.

you sip your tea as cassian lets your words sink in.

'this war is intense. the rebellion is intense. it's hard to find your footing when you're never in one place for long and you don't know when you have to pack up and leave again. but I know, no matter where I go, you'll be there. you'll guide me home. so, in a way, you're my lighthouse.' you say.

'your lighthouse.' cassian echoes your words. 'I like that.'

you turn your head to look at him, not surprised to find him looking at you already.

'I had a feeling you would. how did your mission go?'

'alright. got what we came for. got back home.'

'you've never been a man of many words, have you?' you say, smiling.

he shrugs. 'sometimes you don't need many. how are you feeling? how are your ribs?'

'better.' you say. 'the medical droid said you did a good job at bandaging me up. though it still hurts. I sleep a lot. I was just going to take another nap.'

cassian frowns. 'why didn't you? if it helps with the pain?'

'I was waiting for you to come back.'

'you were?'

'I never really sleep well when you're out there and I'm here.'

cassian stands up and offers you his hand.

'where are we going?' you ask, allowing him to gently help you stand.

'to take a nap.' he says.

you smile and allow cassian to lead you back to your room, never letting go of his hand. he helps you when you lay down on your cot. you surprise him by gently tugging him down with you.

'you look like the mission was intense. you need your rest as well.' you say.

cassian nods, then takes off his boots and jacket. he lays down next to you, careful not to touch your ribs in fear of hurting you. you move closer, only wincing a little at the movement.

'do you have to go soon?' you ask him, feeling tired already.

'no.' says cassian, wrapping an arm around you. 'not for a few days.'

'good.' you mumble, burying your head in the space between his jaw and his shoulder.

you're nearly asleep when cassian whispers your name.

'yeah?' you say softly.

'you're my lighthouse, too.' he says.

you smile at his words. 'I know, cass.'

A/N: thanks for reading! everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. please do not copy, translate, plagiarise or repost my work! some of these are requested by other people and I spend a lot of time and effort on my works <3 much love, marit

[zenfiii]

My favorite ships of all time.. but as lesbians‼️‼️+ why i love these ships

Why i love these ships: they're stupid together

Anyway hope you like my designs!! Even if some are barely noticeable 🫠

(I'll be adding the qijiu drawing later!!)

(real reasons under the cut)

Clarification: they are not listed according to which one I like the most‼️ I have also only chosen the one I like the most, but there are many others ships that I enjoy as much as these! It's just that these have a special place in my heart (not to mention it's like four in the morning and I'm not going to draw more lol). With that said, let's see why I like these ships 😯

Torisai: Watching the series, Toritsuka became my favourite character because of how funny he was and especially because of his relationship with Saiki. Already when Saiki threatened him in the bathroom and half kabedoned him the gears in my head started working.

These two ironically are very close. Throughout the whole series Toritsuka has been very clingy with Saiki and even though Saiki himself despises and insults him, he actually cares and trusts him enough to do something as important as the volcano problem. They have this hate-love-hate relationship that I love, because Tori practically praises him while Saiki treats him like a germ, but, in the end, whether he wants to or not, he gives in (that's a lie, he doesn't, but let's pretend he does).

Saiki is practically a god to Tori and Tori is more of a problem to Saiki. They can't stand each other many times but they need each other's help on many other occasions. I love them I hope they get run over.

(I know I'm not saying much, but it's been a while since I've seen the series. If I rewatch it, I'll probably write this again with more details!!)

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ ·

Zensung: For many years my otp was yooran, BUT I discovered that this ship actually existed and OMG. I've always been a multishipper, I believe that love is the solution to everything, and for a long time I was exploring other ships but this one I had never seen, when I did everything changed, seriously.

Their dynamic, their chemistry and their relationship both inside and outside the canon UGH. They've always had that big brother/little brother type of relationship, very adorable and all, but what happens when one of them starts to have feelings for the other? Then everything becomes more complicated because these seemingly innocent acts can suddenly have a different meaning. Going over to each other's house unannounced suddenly isn't so comfortable, being so close is suffocating, and the touching is too much to bear.

On Yoosung's part the problem comes more from the fact that he is his friend, and not only that, his incredibly attractive friend. And on Zen's part there is the fact that he is a man, and not only that, a man he actually finds very cute. So they have this awkward dynamic of not knowing how to approach each other properly and it's so delicious. I could read thousands of fanfics where it's just them trying to figure out what's the best way to just accept these feelings. Very cute, hopefully they kiss mua.

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ ·

Xiaoven: When I wasn't playing genshin yet I came across some very nice art of them on Instagram. When I started playing Venti quickly became my favourite character. Shortly after that I got to know the pairing he had with Xiao and I found it. So cute. I did some research and saw that there was a lot of stuff around them and thought "wow, that's cool!! From so much content I'm sure a lot of people love it". Er. What a surprise when I realised that for a long time it's been one of the most hated ships in the community and I was like ???? I couldn't understand why, and to this day I still don't understand why it's so hated jksjdks.

Anyway. Why I like it is very simple. They're cute together. Xiao who has been isolating himself from everyone and everything actually has someone he holds dear to his heart because not only has he saved him, he constantly helps him and keeps him company. A pure soul who is there and embraces him with all that he is. And on Venti's side, although it doesn't seem like it, he actually is pretty much alone, all his friends, most of them, dead. And it's not like he can visit the ones that are alive. He is a free soul but, essentially he is lonely. He spends his nights with Xiao because he is someone he can trust, and secretly Venti hopes to spend more nights with him. Ayyy my kids how I love them, if I could I would put them in a little box and keep them away from everything bad in this world.

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ ·

Ivantill: My lovely kids! I love them because they have this whole complicated story, how Till loves Ivan but doesn't show it, and how Ivan wants Till to look at him but does it with violence because he doesn't know how to express it normally!! Well none of them know how to do it normally but uh, yeah.

Quite recent, but their story is very good! Although to be honest I don't really like angst and prefer to draw them happy, so I'll stick with au's!! I'd rather shamelessly cover my eyes and think they're happy than see how they've really ended up lol. Although that has its own beauty too, I just prefer the adorable stuff.

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ ·

[fly-sky-high-arts]

I do want to talk about sharing art online from the perspective of a hobby freelancer but before that I'll just toss this tidbit I mentioned on my main

Reblogs are not numbers. Reblogs are meant to share and pass on artwork that someone may like. NO ONE is forced to reblog anything BUT it is a core of engagement in a space like tumblr. Engagement is what brings in interest after all and it's one piece of what makes it important for freelance artists here.

When you look at the numbers and the notes, we need to stop viewing them and comparing them with likes (me included) or total in general. It doesn't help.

Artists do self rebloging to both show or remind folks they've done some work as well as to nudge people to reblog their stuff. Tags are nice and comments in them are a nice way to engage too but passing on the work, especially to help someone to get noticed, is a good way to just work the site as intended.

It will always be about luck because we can't guess who wants to engage with what online. You also can't blame yourselves for this. Don't use the internet mentality of "content" (eugh!) and "flopping" and go about it that way. People find stuff I drew years back and find ways to engage with it now. It's really about luck.

There are things that can help but I'll go about it in another post.

One more thing. Don't be shy about "shilling". Advertise your open commissions, your patreons or ko-fis. I promise it has nothing to do with how big of an artist you are. Remember that you're doing that within your own zone so "bothering" followers is hardly the case, it's your house. Make a tag for it if it helps your mind. I say as someone with social anxiety.

[necrotic-nephilim]

i personally have very complicated feelings on the Gotham Knights video game and the routes it takes with characterization. i think it has a charm to it and it goes in an interesting direction with everyone (especially within the confides of the plot of the game) but it does have certain moments that veer painfully fanon for me. (such as: the dialogue where Tim drinks too much coffee) it's an interesting story for what it is but i don't view it comics-based for characterization and therefore don't care to interact with it much for like. fanfic purposes.

that *said* though. i do have to give the game some kind of credit for giving one of the top five JayTim moments that lives rent free in my mind. every since i played the game, the cutscene lives in my mind daily. it's the specific cutscene where Jason and Tim are arguing about whether or not Jason's non-lethal bullets are too dangerous for the field, and the argument leads to TIm *standing in front of the target* Jason is shooting and telling Jason to shoot him. it lives rent free for me. i never stop thinking about this.

the absolute certainty Tim has that he is in no danger standing in front of Jason, who has a loaded gun pointed at his face. the way Jason *hesitates* for just a moment before lowering the gun. he thinks about it for just a second. Gotham Knights JayTim seem to get along very well and can rely on each other, but Jason still clearly holds a bitterness about his death and Tim that flickers through in some lines of dialogue under the guise of jokes. especially since this game deals *heavily* with concepts of Pit Madness causing an altered state of consciousness, i think it's believable that occasionally, Jason fights the urge to fight and hurt Tim for the feeling of being replaced.

i like their tension so much in this canon. they get along but you can *tell* Tim is afraid of addressing Jason's trauma or even addressing Jason head-on, and Jason leans into spooking Tim about it. which isn't very comics feeling in their dynamic, but it is an interesting way to place their dynamic if you're playing with a more timid Tim who's newer to the role of Robin. (which he seems to be in-game) he really doesn't want to offend Jason, or worse, piss him off. but he'll still face Jason head on for things like this, while completely aware of what Jason could be capable of.

and Jason seems very protective of Tim and respecting Tim as a Robin in typical Jason fashion. if Tim pushes, Jason *will* relent. he knows this is a kid who's proved himself and should be treated with equal respect, sometimes even more than Dick and Babs do in-game.

so for all that to culminate in Tim stepping in front of Jason's loaded gun that he *knows* is on the edge of being too dangerous, just to force Jason to listen? it's the most unhinged way Tim could've gotten his point across in this scene. he was literally daring Jason to hurt him and playing with a very dangerous fire. but he did it anyway bc he believed he could make Jason heel just at the thought of hurting Tim. and he was *right*. they're gay and i'm feral ty.

[bylerpining]

Red Flags:

fear of being seen/fully authentic: first off, everything prev said abt airport mike is way too spot on, like wow (and im just now remembering that I got airport mike in my own 'which mike are you' uquiz sooo uh). I think in public I give off rbf and am just generally not the most approachable-looking bc of my anxiety, and I've always been like that as long as I can remember. I'm always hyperaware of my expressions, how I walk, my body language, what people are doing around me, etc., so it's hard for me to be that relaxed, open, totally authentic person. that is who I want to be, though, and I'm always trying to actively work on that and stop blaming past trauma for putting up a kind of defence, I guess. I like to think I've improved a lot within the past year.

being emotionally open: it takes me a lot more effort and time to open up to people emotionally, which again goes back to the fear of being seen. the biggest thing for me is needing to feel completely safe and in an environment with no judgment that allows me to open up without being self-conscious. this is part of the reason I absolutely despise dating apps and they don't work for me; they feel so surface-level and there's just no room for authentic connection because it gets boring too quickly, but I also hate the idea of rushing into going on a date with someone when they're practically a stranger?? I need to build that emotional connection in a natural, no-pressure environment first.

Green Flags:

remembering the little things: I tend to remember and pay attention to little details about people, like what kind of scents/flavors they like, their style, or when they mention wanting or needing something in a throwaway comment. I'm pretty good at gift-giving :)

open-minded: I'm always willing to change my opinions about things and admit when I'm wrong, especially when I don't feel that I'm knowledgable enough on a certain topic. I'm also a firm believer that you can't police others' feelings; sometimes I'll never fully understand something because I've never experienced what that person is feeling, and that's okay, but it's not my place to judge.

What I Look For:

I think shared interests are huge in a relationship. if you can't talk to that person about your passions and share in the excitement then what's the point?? I'd love to be into some of the same things so we can bond over them and have lively discussions about them.

similar values/family goals for sure. political views and what you want in a family life isn't something you can compromise. I've never wanted a traditional family unit; never saw the appeal in getting married and don't want kids, and there's no way I'd force myself into that.

feeling safe and comfortable with someone is what I primarily picture when I imagine love. not feeling like you need to hide any part of yourself and feeling like you can be truly relaxed and vulnerable, because you're seen and protected by them.

Love/Intimacy:

this was really interesting and the first deeper sort of tag I've done, I really enjoyed it! love learning more abt u guys too :)

npt: @robintheoriedbyler @sylviethewise @yourlocalbadgerscales @tupanaraul

let’s play a question game because i’m tired and i like talking about myself + i’m curious about you’re guys’ answers

Rules: State 2 of your red flags, 2 green flags, 3 things you look for in a partner / life companion and make a collage of 6-8 pictures about what intimacy and love look like to you <3

i’ll go first

2 Red flags

1) High standards / Loses interest really fast. In general, i tend to get overly excited at first when i meet someone and im very eager to get to know them, but the moment i sense something not clicking i shut them off and distance myself. I’m nervous about being disappointed and slightly scared of intimacy. I mostly need to feel understood, like on a philosophical and psychic level (i feel like a goddamn book character, sue me) so if that isn’t the case, i’m not interested.

2) Overthinker / minimal self-confidence. I’m pretty insecure and feel like everybody hates me so it’s pretty difficult for someone to convince me that they genuinely like me as a person and they’re not in fact disgusted by me (trauma babe <3). I also tend to over-explain things and i get too into my head, being suspicious of everything and everyone. I also apologise like- a lot. Must be tiresome.

2 Green flags

1) Emotional intelligence. I feel like one of my best qualities is my ability to listen and at least try to understand other people. I’m very considerate and i always confirm my love for my beloved ones via poetry, art, physical touch and words of affirmation. I’m also a very sensitive person so i don’t judge and try my best not to make others uncomfortable.

2)Always has something to say. Yep, im a yapper and a nerd to the bone. I have plenty of interests and i’m a very curious person who always looks for meaning in things. Im also very animated when i speak, which may be annoying to some, but it’s certainly entertaining, for better or for worse.

3 things i look for in a partner

1) Communication skills. I feel like communication is the basis of a healthy relationship, without which there can’t be trust, sincerity and depth. Someone who’s willing to reach out, to talk things through and not give up immediately, to express their love, fears, dreams, things i could do on my part to strengthen our bond. Someone who makes their boundaries clear and asks whenever they are uncertain about things.

2) Intelligence / Interests. To be clear, by intelligence i do not mean “ Straight A’s, PhD, successful, NASA FUCKING APPROVED”. Nope. I mean in general, someone who thinks for themselves and has opinions, someone with interests and passions, real passions that give meaning to their life. Someone with a high EQ (emotional intelligence) because i could never be with someone emotionally unavailable.

3) A strong ethical compass. Someone who stands up for what’s right and whose ethical values align with mine. Someone brave and outspoken, who doesn’t tolerate bigotry, insensitivity, ignorance. Someone kind and gentle.

What is intimacy?

No pressure tags <3 @robintheoriedbyler @bylerfiles @justwhenbluemeetsyellow @miwihearts @miwiromantics @yourlocalbadgerscales @star-41306 @nommereranger @somewiseoutthere + anyone who’d like to join

[once-more-with-anxiety]

messy mathbook Sasha!

(ft. terrible lighting, me not knowing how to draw eyes, and a shitty attempt at glasses)

[abusivelittlebunny]

I miss this blog before you become full toxic Carlos fan. RPF'ing is one thing, but actually agreeing with these parasocial freaks who post essays at anti Charles tag is crazy. I'd like to ask you to stop shipping Charlos and move into Carlando instead.

Lmfao girl smoke a joint, call your therapist and go fuck yourself ♡

It's literally not that deep you guys are taking shipping way too fucking seriously- asking me to ship something else is making me howl with laughter here and you're talking of parasocial freaks like- ????