#and I don't have much of a specific reason to pick this song for today

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: June 7

"STFU!" by Rina Sawayama

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

How are You Seen and How is Your Style Perceived?

Hey fellas!! This reading is a suggestion from @evaalison72020!!! Thank you so much for your request! The decks used today are The Tarot of the Divine, The Moonology Oracle, and Believe In Your Own Magic Oracle. Take what resonates and leave the rest but always be ready for new perspectives.

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Drop your reading suggestions in my inbox for future PAC. Thank you all in advance! Love you🤍

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PILE ONE

Astrology: Leo, Pisces, Virgo (maybe cancer)

Song: Her Diamonds by Rob Thomas

Vibes: Green, red, yellow, ohi'a tree blossoms, intense emotion, crabs, birch tree, Pele, bow staff, modeling, boho fashion, photography, 999, 4444, swords, lotus root, dragons, monkeys, selenite, howlite

Cards: Queen of Wands, King of Cups, Judgement, Supermoon, Garden

Hello, pile one! I am really digging y'all's energy. You have a very androgynous energy so people have a lot of variety in how they perceive you. I think first I will start with your style and ease into those who know you a bit deeper. So, your style is very earth-toned. How you dress tells people that you are reasonable and balanced. You hate wearing shoes so you don't wear them if you don't have to. You might have a touch of fantasy in your accessories. I see crystal bracelets or pendulum necklaces. You like to wear loose-fitting clothes that make you feel free. I'm specifically seeing a long red skirt. It's about knee length. If a skirt doesn't resonate it could also be a red jacket or sweater that you tie around your waist. People initially see a really free spirit with a whimsical side. People might be surprised by your free spirit but not usually put off by it. You have a very cheerful vibe to you that makes people feel at home. They view you as light on your feet and a positive influence on everything around you. However, occasionally you get excited by something and your eyes narrow in. You have a very intense stare. It can be pretty intimidating.

As for the androgyne tones I was feeling earlier I will now explain a little further. So, you sorta reflect gender at people. This is not to say you are gender fluid or nonbinary but that is a possibility. The vibe I am getting is whatever gender the person perceiving you is, is the gender they see you as. Which can drastically change how people see you, in my experience. Women see you as safe to be around. Men see you as capable and responsible. Nonbinary people see you as a comrade. This also brings in a lot of suiters that get confused by your presentation. I hear many people see you and think, "Woah, did you see them? They looked so cool." These people are always too shy to say anything to you though.

The people who are closest to you view you entirely differently. They know you well enough to see your truest emotion. Your emotions are as intense as the stare I talked about earlier. You have the heart of a dragon. It is difficult to express the deep feelings a dragon would feel through a humans body. It comes out as explosive bursts of immense sensational expression. You are the one laughing the hardest, crying the most, screaming the loudest, burning with fury and jumping all around when you get excited. The people closest to you see you as powerful because of this. They know you are harmless but if challenged you can be extremely dangerous. You are the king of sentiment though so the ones closest never get caught in the crossfire of your emotional depth.

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PILE TWO

Astrology: Cancer, Scorpio, Gemini

Song: Daddy AF by Slayyyer (spirit picked this one... not sure why)

Vibes: Purple, storm cloud blue, peach pink, cranes, wings, bindi, bangs/fringe, sake, green tea, circles, red lips, 222, 555, amethyst, rose quartz, Kali, Lilith, Hekate, Persephone

Cards: The High Priestess, Ace of Cups, Three of Swords, Mirror, Full Moon in Cancer

Welcome, pile two to your reading. You are scene as very mysterious. The public eye doesn't know what to make of you. Honestly, I can see the mystery in the cards but I am also struggling to tap into you. You are very guarded but very beautiful. If you have ever heard of the term kuudere, I think that would be pretty accurate to how to are perceived . If you are unfamiliar with the term it just means you seem very in control of you emotions. So much so that you might come off as cold to some people. You appear to be serene outwardly but on the inside I see you have many different emotions. The style you wear is similar to how your emotions are displayed. Serene and mysterious. I see you could wear spiritual clothing that is meant for spiritual protection. Overall, the public views as an extremely beautiful but private individual that is low-key spiritual.

You have a dark feminine energy to you. This can draw in those who are fascinated by mystery. You don't like to let people close to you though because of painful situations you have been in before. I see you have experienced many heartbreaks and have given many sacrifices to people who did not meet you with gratitude. You honestly didn't let this eat you up inside. You moved forward with confidence and led yourself towards loving yourself. You worked towards the relationship you had with yourself and you resolved a lot of pain that you carried with. Entirely because you were fed up with people breaking your heart. You decided you wanted the person closest to you to stop breaking it too. You.

Those who can even reach the idea of being close to you view you as much softer than the public. They still see you as pretty mysterious but they can see that you are very sweet and accommodating. They have seen you at your worst and watched you kick ass all the way through. They see you as the baddest bitch on the block. It is very rare for you to have people close to you but when there are you are very loyal. You like to invite them over for drinks and thats when you let your truest self shine. You are an absolute riot. You have the wittiest joke and the funniest comebacks even when you are intoxicated. You have allowed yourself to cry on a friends shoulder over drinks too. Alcohol really loosens that vice grip you have on your emotions. I see you really only let your best friend see these parts of you. This person views you as their favorite person on earth. They really truly believe you are an angel. They have supported you through a couple really hard break-ups. I think they will always be the closest one to your heart.

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PILE THREE

Astrology: Aquarius, Capricorn, Taurus

Song: Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac

Vibes: Grey-blue, gold, purple, white, stain glass windows, arctic foxes, wolves, yokai, beetles, sharks, snow, ice, winter, 111, 963, 100, red hair, feathers, black tourmaline, Ares, Hephaestus, Hestia

Cards: 6 of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, New Moon, Shark

Hi, pile three! You have an entirely different impression you often give than how you actually are. Those who see you would not be able to guess how you actually are. You give a very scary vibe off to people. Strangers are intimidated by your appearance. Which is such a shame because your energy is so warm and inviting. :( You are very tall and have a broad figure with wide shoulders. You tower over most people. If you aren't physically tall people still get that energy of intimidation from your energy. People scurry out of your way as you walk past and avoid looking you in the eyes. You also have very strong eye brows which might give you real bad RBF. Those who aren't scared off by you, hold a lot of envy for how much you command attention. I also see you have really long beautiful legs that people comment on all the time. They mostly seem like complements but they probably don't really feel like it. They want to be like you but they just don't understand how much it actually bothers you to be as big as you are. I'm so sorry to you about all the door frames you run into and all the beds you have grown out of. It's tough be a big person.

Despite all your physical appearances, you have a lovely soft feminine energy. It is so nice to be in it feels like the biggest, softest, warmest bear hug to ever exist. You are a wonderful host. I can smell something really good so you might be an excellent cook or baker. I see you love to give back to your community through this skill. Which makes those a bit closer see you as this protective loving parental energy. I see you baking cookies for your neighbors and maybe your church. I can feel how happy you make people feel the closer they get to you. You have such a soft heart with a rough outer exterior. It does throw some of your neighbors kids for a loop at first.

Finally, those who are closest to you see you as extremely generous and kind. They know the world thinks you have sharp claws but they know that they are mistaking paws for claws. They love being around you and working together to help being a safer community. They know you give to charity and work in a place that helps those in needs. They see you as the sweetest, nicest person they have ever met in their lives. They wouldn't trade you for anyone. They trust you with their lives. If they are in any danger or in need they call you first. I think maybe at some point you had someone slander your good name because of your appearances. All your closest community friends and family came to your defense and saved your reputation. They truly, deeply care for you and I think you feel the exact same.

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PILE FOUR

Astrology: Aries, Libra, Sagittarius

Song: Cooler Than Me (Cover) by Ethan Fields

Vibes: Gold, black, teal, white flowers, maximalism, alternative fashion, lily pads, frogs, 333, 4646, leaves, vines, coral, mountains, low gravity, forests, fairies, pixies, unicorns, culture, tigers eye, Zues, Aphrodite, Eros

Cards: Queen of Cups, 3 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Full Moon, Expectations

Hey there, pile four. Welcome to your reading! People outside of your circle see you are drop dead gorgeous. You make everyone question their sexuality or fall to their knees. Even your friends flirt with you constantly. You obviously flirt back just for funsies but thaaat can get you into some romantic fiascos that you never had any intention in getting into. Oops, lmao! I see strangers see you in two different lights. There are people who are stunned by your handsomeness. They are the ones turning their heads to get a second look. ;) Theeeeen there are the people who think you are doing way too much just because you like looking good. Thats dumb. Those people are dumb. Their opinions do not matter. That's because you are one of a kind! No one can match your style and brilliance. No one has the confidence to do what you do and make it look THAT good. AND THE BEST PAAART is that everyone knows it. Even if they are acting nasty about it. I see you like to wear lots of jewelry. Chains on chains on jewels on chains. You aren't addicted to glitter. Glitter is addicted to YOU!!! You love to do stuff with your hair too. I see you might have many wigs that you love to trade out. People are always convinced it's your real hair. Everyday you get more and more admirers. The public can not get enough of you.

Your energy is interesting. It is feminine but it presents in such a masculine way. You have this go getter vibe to you but then everything seems to come your way before you can even step towards it. It's like for a long time you had to fight for what you wanted but now people just hand you things you want before you can even ask. When people get closer to you, they just seem to give you things randomly. They will hook you up with their connections. Literally people are doing your networking for you. The way people see you gives you many opportunities in life. Don't worry about getting the opportunities yourself, baby. The universe loves to spoil you through your admirers.

The people closest to you see that you are a go with the flow kind of person. The universe pushes you somewhere and you just let it push you along like a leaf in the wind. Some of your closest friends think you are nuts but they know it always seems to work out for you anyway. Even if you don't make sense to them. They see you are a surviver and they know how ruthless you can be, babe. They see these as extremely admirable traits. The people closest to you feel like they have been around you since you were young so they like to mess with you like siblings would. It is pretty easy to get close to you though so they might not all be that way. They view you as loyal, kind, fun and unique. They wouldn't have you any other way.

[ghost9whore]

Lightning's Reign and Thunder's Roar VIII

"You look lonely, I can fix that"

"Oh? I'm sure you could but I'd like to leave with my life"

"Why not? It's not like I'll kill you"

"Yes, but with you, my mind will surely be lost" (Caserys' P.O.V)

Fire That's all there was. My father's war with Daemon against the stepstones was fruitful at first but, 3 years later I'm not so sure. We had begun the assault on the Stepstones with Caraxes raining fire on everything in sight. However, the Crab Feeder had another idea to falter towards the sea caves. That way he is away from the fire and we couldn't dip that far in with no foot soldiers. Although my father told me my presence in this war would be required. I fear I'm nothing more than a backup weapon. Daemon and Caraxes hold the most battle time with Laenor and Seasmoke behind them.

I feel this is my mother's doing. I believe she doesn't trust my ability to hold my own which is a fair assessment I have never seen combat before. The crown provides no reinforcements. In fact, today is King Viserys' son, Aegon's second Nameday. We haven't had a bit of assistance in these 3 years. The most I've done was to clear out any remaining soldiers on the back of Rhaeraxes to which he ate the soldiers or clawed them to death. I do fear his breath of lightning, the sands we battle on are filled with water. If he breathed lightning would he shock the entire beach? Would the lightning stretch to the metal armor?

Speaking of metal armor wearing this armor is all too uncomfortable. The different material draped over my body makes it too hard to move. I'm sacrificing my only advantage in battle. After dismounting Rhaeraxes, Caserys removes the heavy armor set allowing his body to feel the weightlessness that's been denied for so long. Shortly after, Daemon's dragon Caraxes flies over the boy and his dragon

"Crap" Caserys began to quickly reposition his armor back to its correct spot but his efforts were in vain. "You know it could be your death if you don't wear your armor"

"I know Daemon, yet I'm not at the stepstones and haven't been out of it in days"

“No matter the setting, your death could be just around the corner”

“Is there a specific reason you sought me out Daemon?”

“Must I have a method to my madness” his face twists into a smirk

“Hm, Daemon tell me how you intend to burn out this crab feeder”

"All will come in time, little dragon. Speaking of dragons why is it out of everyone you always seem to dismount the quickest?"

"Who is everyone? You, myself, and Laenor? It's because Rhaeraxes does not have a saddle"

"It's because of comfort?"

"It's because there is nothing here for me, the only thing I've been allowed to do is pick off the remainder of the armies after Caraxes and Seasmoke clear them out. Rhaeraxes is bigger than Seasmoke and not too far away from Caraxes yet I remain an afterthought."

"It's not that you are forgotten, it's that they fear your dragon."

"What?" I ask my face reflecting disgust at his statement.

"None truly know if your dragon is born of thunder, because you have barely shown it. Yet, they understand your fleeing control. Rhaeraxes is a powerful creature perhaps one day a second coming of the Black Dread but they know his aggression. Even your father and mother fear your inexperience controlling dragons."

"Oh? And what would you have me do? Make a show of power? Instruct Rhaeraxes to shock the entire beach until it's charred?"

"Remember that day I showed you the dragonpit? The day I taught you that song in Valyrian?"

"Yes, what of it?"

"You showed more confidence facing the Bronze Fury than you do facing your own dragon. You might believe that Rhaeraxes listens to you but, you could have your bond run much deeper if you understood why your dragon..."

"Why my dragon what? Is that the end of your sentence?"

"I can not show you if you're not open. Perhaps it's in your best interest, to learn this yourself. Don't despair I already gave you half the answer."

With that Daemon left, probably to find my father and plan out his next course of attack.

But, I can not help but think of his words. He is correct, just because Rhaeraxes doesn't disobey me doesn't me he truly listens to me.

As Caraxes and Daemon departed again for the stepstones, I must speak to Father myself.

"We have 16, perhaps 18, seaworthy ships. Seven hundred foot, some 60 knights. Our food quickly dwindles, save for what we can fish from the sea. I would say we have a fortnight, mayhaps a bit longer with strict rationing. I've made call for Driftmark to send more ships, but they will be weeks away. We are faltering and the Triarchy knows it. We must press the attack, continue sending the dragons." I hear my father say to my brother and uncle as I climb the steps from Rhaeraxes' drop point to their makeshift war tent.

"It won't work, as long we attack him from above the crab feeder will never come out from his caves. The caves that protect him from dragon fire." I begin bringing all attention to myself as I remove the heavy chest plate throwing it down near their meeting table.

"Caserys what is the meaning of this interruption?"

"Forgive me Father but I feel the need to extend my ability to you. Rhaeraxes' ability to spew lightning would yield very different resul-"

"Oh, you mean the lightning no one has ever seen? Every time your dragon has fought it's been with teeth and claws, not lightning. No one doubts your dragon's strength but, a lightning dragon is absurd. I'll hear no more of this Caserys."

His words shut me up. He was right how could I preach about some great ability no one has ever seen not even me. Rhaeraxes did not respond any time I demanded dragonfire.

With great shame dawning on his face, Caserys went back to his dragon. Once finding the beast he mounted Rhaeraxes and took towards the sky in the direction of the stepstones just as Caraxes and Daemon flew back.

"Come on Rhaeraxes" I say looking down at the sand of the stepstones as I instruct my dragon to rise higher above the island inside the clouds.

From the clouds, I can see a figure rowing to the Stepstones but with anxiety in my voice I still say "Just one shock and this can be done, Dracarys" Yet, it falls on deaf ears. Rhaeraxes makes no effort to spew any lightning and I can feel the humiliation set in. I try to push back such feelings as I watch the figure depart from his rowboat and stride toward the Crab Feeder's den waving a white flag. However, it works the Crab Feeder and his men exit the caves none of them can see Rhaeraxes or I hovering just above the clouds. But, just as I believe the silver-haired figure surrenders he fights back. I can't rush in yet though, I need to wait for Daemon to kill the Crab Feeder, or else Rhaeraxes will scare them back into the caves and what I'm assuming is Laenor's plan will have been for nothing. The army of men still rushing from the caves as Daemon falls to the ground. I can not tell if he's injured or hiding from the plethora of arrows raining down. But, as I see Laenor and Seasmoke dip down towards the sands I understand now it's my time to strike.

"One last idea" "Jelmāzma" I say the Valyrian word for storm hoping deep down the word would resonate with Rhaeraxes.

Caserys speaks, and Rhaeraxes responds. Opening his mouth and unleashing a controlled beam of purple lightning his loud hiss spreads as the beam grows divulging into four different beams from Rhaeraxes's mouth. As Caserys dives down with his dragon upon the sound of crackling thunder. The fury of every failed attempt at control amounts to this moment. Instructing Rhaeraxes, Caserys unleashes a full-on assault on this island. The rage imbued in the lightning strikes continued leaving glass sparks in the sand but the purple shock spreading from the point of contact.

Continuing the assault, something changed inside of me. I don't feel doubt in fact, I don't feel much at all. But, once the army before me is dead. I land and dismount Rhaeraxes, admiring the glass shards I created I hear a sentence. "Finally"

A/N Clock this, I'm trying to go quickly.

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC How is the Lion's Gate Portal affecting you?

Happy Lion's Gate portal!

General themes of the messages that came out today:

Addressing the sense of disconnection from being swept up a little too much by the 3D right now, with a focus on the root chakra and resolving stagnation.

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Pile 1:

Your energy right now feels like the color yellow to me—so fresh, energetic, and exciting. This shows that the Lion's Gate portal will help you feel more expansive, like you "own the goddamn world today." It's giving me healthy solar plexus energy, so for those of you who have been healing it for some time now, take this reading as a sign that not only is your solar plexus healing, but it's also expanding, and it's happening quickly 😉✨.

I'm getting a sense of lightness from you during the Lion's Gate period. Anything you were burdened by before August—such as exam stress, financial blockages, or something similar—will be dealt with FAST by the universe during this period, and you'll feel like you can breathe again. At the very least, you'll have a reason to be grateful and feel oh so special about seeing the universe work its magic in your life FOR you ✨.

I love it! I see you receiving a lot of help and support in overcoming any feelings of disempowerment, stuckness, and disappointment. It seems to me that you were trying to manifest something specific, but it just did not seem to get off the ground. That's exactly what this portal will give you a boost towards! Isn't that lovely? You'll feel a rejuvenation in your hope for this "failed" manifestation, and you might even feel the motivation to go at it again in a more planned and helpful way this time :)

Ooh! I also see a major boost in your ability to connect with your intuition, grace, and compassion. If you felt like your emotions went numb lately or you've been doing too much shadow work/emotional healing work and have been exhausted from it, you'll particularly feel an enlivening in your emotional body during this period. You might attract just the right things that will help you FEEL again, but be sure to allow it in 🤓.

Your psychic gifts (if you have any) will definitely grow substantially over this period too, so get ready to be surprised by just how much you can pick up. And it goes without saying that when your gifts are expanding, you need to make sure to ground and clear your energy from time to time to avoid floating away haha.

Side note: Try not to fight your new abilities or try to fit them into a particular box if you sense them coming up. Be open-minded when it comes to your own psychic gifts because everyone has their unique ways of connecting with the non-physical 💜.

Overall, it feels like you're having a spiritual upgrade of some kind this Lion's Gate portal! Congratulations, Pile 1 🎊.

And Happy Lion's Gate Portal!

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Pile 2:

There's always a pile in my readings that I call the "brain pile," and this one is it. You all have a brain/mind that is incredibly active and in some cases a little too active (I'm guilty of that myself 🙃💋).

Lately, maybe your mental body has been wreaking havoc in your world and disrupting your well-being? Maybe you got stuck in unhealthy patterns of overthinking, irrational fears, and intrusive thoughts? THAT'S EXACTLY what this portal is helping you with. It's bringing you divine intervention in whatever form YOU are open to receiving right now—maybe through books, tarot readings (such as this one 🙃), people, quotes, messages in songs, dreams, etc. You get the idea, right? This is to help you snap out of this almost trance-like state that your automatic thoughts have trapped you in. You're being looked after, don't you worry, sweet pea 🥰—that's a huge message I'm getting for you specifically.

Not only that, but I get that this divine intervention will eventually become a 'mental glow-up of sorts,' and it seems to me that you're ready for it now more than ever. You're balancing your mind right now, and you're getting all the help you need with it because, boy, this is a long-standing cycle you're fighting, so Spirit is like, "we need all hands on deck!"

Haha, that's good!

I see so many detours on your path going forward now, which is all part of this divine intervention. You might initially not understand the ways the universe is trying to help you, and you might fall into more chaos (mostly because your mind is resisting the sudden changes), but in due time, you'll not only find your balance but you'll also find a way to integrate your inner child AND all the wisdom you've gathered so far in this life effortlessly. Your mind was busy fighting these other parts of you up until this point, so I guess that's why? I'm so happy for you, though! Such a lovely thing to experience :)

I get a sense that you'll be living a much richer life because of this internal shift.

Wow. Love that 😁.

That was your message and Happy Lion's Gate Portal!

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Pile 3:

Your message is making me tear up, Pile 3. Aw. You're being guided gently to learn how to trust the universe again.

I can see that you've been doing a lot of healing all by yourself, and this work, merging with the energies of the Lion's Gate, is bringing you opportunities to trust in the magic of the universe again. You'll feel supported, less alone, and overall more connected to a greater fabric of existence. You may have slipped into isolation of some kind, and this problem is what's being dealt with on your behalf during this magical period :)

You're going to feel confident in your intuition, and you'll be able to not only listen to your emotions but also trust them deeply. This will build an inner security that you probably didn't know before. If you NEEDED external validation before the beginning of this Lion's Gate period, this time will bring you the necessary ingredients to build that unshakable sense of inner security, fueled from Source itself. Of course, you'll like any external validation that comes your way, but it won't dominate the rest of your inner world :)

Beautiful. This is a beautiful expansion for you, Pile 3.

If you find yourself feeling alone out in the world or feel like you have no friends, that's because of this great big spiritual flush of the old energy you're in the middle of right now. Any energy that wouldn't reciprocate your energy with you, or anything that isn't ideal for you or anybody that's toxic for you, WILL be snatched away like 💨, and you'll be like 😶 but whyyyyyyy.

Spirit sees the bigger picture—things that we literally can't—and is doing everything to keep you on your highest path :) Remember, "rejection is divine protection." It might seem a little frustrating to hear that right now, but it's all for your greatest good. Trust. That's your lesson anyway 🙃😉.

On a more positive note, I see this portal infusing you with so much energy and momentum that you'll be itching to put it all towards something. If you've been stagnant in your 3D life up until, say, July or felt like nothing was changing and it's all the same old same old, then this will change BIG TIME, and you'll be the reason why 😉.

Spirit will be inspiring you directly to make any changes that will bring you a sense of well-being in this important phase of your life✨

That was your message and Happy Lion's Gate Portal!

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[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Message from your inner child"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message from your inner child probably on how to reconnect with them and work with them. reminder that we're plenty of layers and there are also different children's ages inside of us (and teens too, if you're older), so you may need to reconnect with a specific inner child at this moment.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

Your inner child seems to love winter -I heard "best season!"- (maybe you were born in winter too), snow/ice (making snow angels or playing with snow), and Christmas (if applies). You probably loved receiving gifts (it made you feel special) or you not always had what you wanted. Your inner child needs you to comfort them and remind them that they are worthy of anything they want and that they can receive it too. Help them believe in Santa again, or be their Santa ("work" -mostly inner work- so to bring them the stability/safety/self worth they lack so much after having being told many no's). Your inner child is cute and funny but only with people they like. They probably are a bit closed off with other people and children and rather play/stay alone. They are an observer, probably don't talk too much but know and understands a lot. So very sensitive and caring. Probably loved to listen to blues and jazz with someone from your family, or any other type of music (music relaxed/s them).

Someone here (or on pile 3 maybe, but prolly just a few from there) doesn't want to do something they're supposed to do and keep procrastinating/postponing the task ("adulthood... meh"). It's probably cause you feel worn out for some reason, maybe you kept going for so much without giving yourself a break and now your tiredness is hitting you all of a sudden. Or maybe you somewhat "fear" doing that will comport you having to take some type of action/decision (and leaving this current "stagnant" but safe situation) and probably you don't want it, especially unconsciously. It's okay, it happens, do not fight that feeling. Listen to yourself, to your inner child -they probably want to help you understand why it happens-.

Your inner child wants you to take a break, just enjoy a nice walk outside or do anything you feel like, even just taking a nap. They want you to hug them and cherish them, and to give yourself accolades cause of all the work you have done until today. They are better with actions than words, they're so cute. Please take care of them, stay around them and play with them a bit when you can. They need your presence, even if it feels like they are used to be alone. They don't have to (and not even you). Hugs to both.

song: love me | jerry butler

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pile 2

Your inner child is very pretty and elegant (i am seeing them dressed up for a picture, maybe it's picture day at school or a family pic for grandparents). For some of you, they may have been a bit spoiled but at the same time, they may have been idealized a lot as THE child: the one who had to be "perfect", with "perfect" grades, clothes, behaviour... This child is just very sweet but got very pressured into being more than a child. They had to be what they didn't want to be, despite they didn't know what they wanted, except for making others happy and being praised. It may have made them a bit naive or egoistical on occasion, but they never act this way consciously, with bad intentions. They're (you're) just hurt, but don't know how or why cause they didn't do anything wrong. They obeyed the rules. This child has idolized their parents/caregivers too (which is normal for many kids, to see their parents as superheroes and to want to follow them/obey without asking why).

Your inner child needs some support from a different type of adult. A more permissive and a less pretending one. An adult that understands that we all make mistakes, no matter if we are children or adults. And it's fine to make them. They need to remove that little bow tie or the hairgrips/barrette and just go splash in the mud. To cover their clothes in mud, to let things be. They need you to be that type of adult, to teach them how to be their real imperfect self, cause nobody is perfect (perfection is also very subjective). To take them around on a bike and laugh with them if they stick their tongue out to passers-by. No reason, just because. They need you to ruffle their hair and laugh with them at how funny/crazy they look. They need support into being just a child, not a copy of an adult. They need you to ask them about their opinions and to help them form some others, cause they always relied on others' ones and it doesn't have to be so forever. They need to think and see with their own mind, heart and eyes. And they want you to do this for them too. They want to listen to your own opinions and ideas, they want you to stand out and to be yourself. To be unafraid of others' thoughts and reactions about you. To not care if you are not who others want you to be but to know that you're happy to be who you are also thanks to them and all they did and learned in the process.

Still, remember to pump them up on occasion, I feel they still need to feel nice words and compliments here and there. No matter what they do ofc. Just get on your knees and imagine to look at the in the eyes, and compliment them.

song: love your voice | jony

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

Your inner child probably felt very different when little. It was hard to feel like they belonged. Maybe they also had to grow up quite fast. They are very sweet and gentle, nice, lovely big smile (for some their teeth aren't perfect but nobody cares, this big smile can brighten anyone's day and any room). [TW childhood] They probably had to parent themselves at times or kinda act as a parent to their parents or adults (especially if emotionally immature/unstable). They are very welcoming and helping, at times even to a fault. May have been people pleasing, maybe their home wasn't the best to grow up in and had to do it, not just because they felt it as an inner need. Still, it didn't changed their big heart. [/TW childhood]

If you're called to pile 1, you may want to check it (2nd paragraph in particular), cause I feel for some of you too that you don't want to do something you are supposed to do.

Your inner child wants you to sit and talk with them, and tell them about your adulthood and how things are there. They want to know if things changed and they... want to help you too just by listening and being there. It's like you two keep working together as a team, and sustain each other. Be there for them too, I do think they need it a lot. Listen to them rant and talk, and do children stuff like playing or running. Take them with you in a field, sing, shout... make a flower crown or anything really.

And please, if your inner child feels scared sometimes, hug them (physically envision hugging them): remind them you can make it together as you always did. And you can always ask for support to some other adults too if it's too much for you as well. If you both feel lost at times, which is normal after all you had to go through, just talk and ask for support to adults. It's okay. We live in communities, we can ask others and be helped too. If you don't trust other adults to be able to help you, try to breathe and give them a chance. Not all the adults are like those you turned you down and couldn't support you or give you a stable fundation. Also, remember it's okay as adults too to not have all the answer and to not always be in control of everything. I know it feels so scary, but it's what life has to be like sometimes. Just do not let fear take control of you. Remember you can control your decisions and yourself anytime and anyway. Whatever happens. You can do it. You both can.

song: truth is | sabrina claudio

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 4

Your inner child loved adventure, playing with other kids, maybe dressing up as a pirate (for Carnival or not)... they also loved to read story or imaginging living in different worlds/times, being a hero or similar things. A very vivid imagination. I do believe they still love to watch animations, to draw, or to write stories (do you?). The life-of-the-party kid. Not necessaily had many friends, but just by mood they're always hyped and happy (unless they have to go to school? I heard so, lol. How can I blame them). Maybe had a tree house or favorite a hiding place, or could create one in their room/garden. Always busy creating something new, drawing, painting, running somewhere... such a funny exciting energy.

They are asking you to put down in words whatever is going on inside. Especially if you haven't been paying attention to your emotions and feelings. Take some time out and focus on you. Come back to your dear words, let the pen roll on the paper and write down it all. Be it in the form of a journal or a diary or a letter to someone (write a letter to them too, I totally feel like they want to listen to your story since you lost contacts -"but make it funny/adventurous"). Write, write it all until you can't no more, until you've written all you needed to and cannot think about anything else. Until you're so tired you need to go to sleep. And have a refreshing sleep then.

They are a bit concerned about you. They want you to know that they see how busy you are and that maybe you cannot connect with them too often, but they want you to remember that they're always by your side. They want you to remember how it feels to be free. To take time for yourself. It feels like you're ovewhelming yourself with things to do and this is causing you pain, inside out. They want you to take time out and meet with them so that they can take you on a pirate ship on adventure (may it even be doing chores in a different and more adventurous way, like dancing/singing, or better, trying to battle with "Captain Dust"... Idk, something like that, talk with your inner child :'D). Just create a safe space for you two to come together again, even just a few moments here and there during your week. You don't have to always be so serious and busy.

song: hope ur okay | olivia rodrigo

[dangerously-human]

In the latest way I am perhaps slightly Not Normal about my current special interest (but like, I think in a quite healthy way): realized today I'll be celebrating 13 years clean from cutting in five weeks, which is, dude, wild. This happens to coincide with Lockwood & Co Appreciation Week, and as a treat for me, I'm thinking of ways to perhaps weave the two celebrations together. After all, this is the story I wish I'd heard then, although I'm glad it found its way to me now, too: I can't think of themes that I needed more as a desperately depressed teenager than the triumph of hope over despair, light over darkness, meaning over emptiness, life over death. A story where the siren song of the grave is loud, yet love (of many kinds) is ultimately louder. A story where the grief is made tangible and the hauntings are real, where evil has a face, where it all matters, where it's heavy and still, you don't have to do it alone. The theme that day may or may not work well for self-reflective intent, but maybe - it's "favorite underrated moment," and though a lot of my favorite ones relevant to this topic are common favorites, I do love picking at the thematic threads that are easy to overlook, too.

Maybe I won't write anything specific for it, just spend the time pondering, idk. Some years it doesn't feel like much of an occasion to mark, but I hold to it anyway because it's an opportunity to thank God and give him the glory for carrying me through another year safe, like the way the Israelites were instructed to set up a monument of stones after crossing the Jordan River to remind them and future generations of what God did for them. Some years it feels bigger; this is one of them. I've found myself drifting into old temptations, and sticking to my commitment - while still easier than it was when I first quit - feels a little more like a victory this time around. So it might be nice to mark that somehow, and pouring gratitude and reflection into something I love, something that means a lot to me for similar reasons, just seems fitting.

Or maybe. Maybe. I'll finally get a poem out of this; it's been so long. That would be fitting, too; I used to pour out so much of the self-harm experience into poetry, and it would be rather full-circle to address the healing in that format too. Food for thought.

Anyway! 13 years! Wild.

[lixxen]

Since @the-chapmania and @eeternalferret told me I should do this, here is Fall Out Boy (and others!!) songs but I've assigned them to Always Sunny characters/ships because I'm absolutely insane and Fall Out Boy is one of my special interests (plus a ton of other songs that fit them at the end!!)

The first few will be above the cut then the rest are UTC

Disclaimer: most of these are just I think the characters fit the dynamics or I have specific situations and dynamics for the songs. I'll specify some of them. These are all opinions and you're allowed to disagree. A few will repeat!

Charlie

I Don't Care

Novocaine

What A Time To Be Alive

Saturday

Sunshine Riptide (I'm laughing over this one. You'll get it when you see it)

Mac

Sugar, We're Going Down

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years)

Young and Menace

Thnks fr th Mmrs

Dennis

This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years)

Pavlove

Bishops Knife Trick

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea

Dee

So Much (For) Stardust

Fake Out

The Lawyer

You're Crashing, But You're No Wave

CharMac

Alone Together

Fourth of July

Disloyal Order of Water Buffalo

The (Shipped) Gold Standard

The Kids Aren't Alright

Bang The Doldrums

Favorite Record

What A Catch, Donnie

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown on A Bad Bet (Dennis is the husband!!!)

It's Not A Side Effect of The Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love

CharDen

Dead on Arrival (early friendship)

America's Suithearts (could be just Charlie, but has the vibes for both)

Disloyal Order of Water Buffalo

My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon

The Phoenix

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me (early friendship)

Hold Me Like A Grudge

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me (Charlie's POV if this makes sense)

CharMacDen

American Beauty/American Psycho

Twin Skeletons (Hotel in NYC)

Thnks fr th Mmrs

Bang the Doldrums

Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy

Grenade Jumper

MacDen

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) [Dennis POV]

Immortals

Love From The Other Side

Last of The Real Ones

Dance, Dance

Where Did The Party Go

Miss Missing You

Irresistible

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DONT

Heaven's Gate (Mac POV)

CharDee

She's My Winona

Disloyal Order of Water Buffalo

Rat A Tat

Jet Pack Blues

I'm Like A Lawyer In The Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off

DeeStress

Just One Yesterday

Last of The Real Ones

Pretty in Punk

CharStress

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

Last of The Real Ones

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today

Honorable Mention

Growing Up

Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy

Dennis & Dee (Platonic)

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me (cover ourself in cheap perfume and can't cover it up is them fr)

Non-FOB songs:

Panic! At The Disco:

The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage (MacDen)

Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks (Dennis and Frank)

There's a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't figured it out yet (Dennis and Dee)

Nearly Witches (ever since we met) [CharDen or CharMac, pick your poison]

This is gospel (Mac)

Girls/Girls/Boys (Mac/Carmen)

Let's kill tonight (CharDen)

Casual Affair (charmacden)

Crazy = Genius (CharDen)

Folkin around (CharMac)

She had the world (past CharMac current MacDen from Charlie's POV. Charlie is Brenden and Mac is Ryan)

Ready to go (get me out of my mind) [DeeStress or charden]

Bittersweet (CharMac)

Turn off the lights (CharDen)

But Better if you do (MacDen)

Camisado (Charlie)

Spiritbox

Hurt You (MacDen)

Too close/too late (Charlie)

Jaded (Mac)

Lilyisthatyou

RELAX AFTER WORK WITH A DRINK (Charlie)

GRINDING MY TEETH (Charlie)

DANCE (Charlie)

SIREN (Charlie)

Competition (CharMacDen)

INTIMACY ISSUES (Charlie)

The Happy Fits

She Wants Me (To Be Loved) [CharMac]

So Alright, Cool, Whatever (MacDen)

Mary (Charlie)

Dirty Imbecile (CharMacDen)

Moving (Charlie and his mom)

Miscellaneous

Impressively Average by Brigitte Calls Me Baby (MacDen. LITERALLY THEIR SONG!!!)

Codependency by Orla Garland (Charden)

If you ever leave, I'm coming with you by The Wombats (CharMac)

Here comes your man by The Pixies (Charlie)

Alley Rose by Conan Gray (pre-canon CharMac)

[moonspirit]

my hcs on the alliances favourite song/musician:

levi- Elvis. no specific song

he’d lock himself in a room and blast some of his songs, he’d sip a cup of tea and stare out the window while stewing his hatred for that lil monkey boy zeke. the first time he did this onyankopon broke down the door because he thought levi was gonna kill himself. my reasoning is that I think he’s a lil ol fashioned so.. Elvis.

annie- hit ‘em up, 2pac.

she’d LOVE diss tracks, especially this one. she’d sometimes mumble “..that’s why i fucked yo bitch you fat motherfucka..” in her sleep. the alliance doesn’t let her pick the music anymore after falco and gabi arrived for obvious reasons. if she was more public she’d be cancelled for imitating a black accent.. she can’t help it..

armin- nursery rhymes. 

oh god don’t give him the aux.. he would genuinely be listening to “je mappele dolphine” or something like that. do NOT let him find national anthems. (not the lana del rey one.. please let him find that one it’s so good)

gabi- karma, jojo siwa.

you couldn’t water board this information out of her. she pretends her favourite song is also hit ‘em up like annie to act tough but she’s a Jojo siwa fan at heart. she doesn’t let anyone in her room because you’d find every single bow jojo has released, that one mold infested jojo siwa curry sauce, and a karma vinyl she somehow got her grubby hands on. 

connie- con calma, daddy yankee.

our latino king! you cannot stop him from replaying this song, unless you want to go get a rabies shot. if he’s listening to spanish songs while driving make sure to buy car insurance right then and there because connie doesn’t have any! and you’re definitely gonna crash..

pieck- telepatia/melting - kali uchis.

couldn’t decide which she’d like more, but she’s a huge fan of cutesy songs. i can also see her liking prom song gone wrong by lana del rey. (can u tell lana is my favourite?) anyway, she would bedazzle her record player with pink rhinestones and dance around her room to kali uchis. 

reiner- caramelldanssen, caramella girls.

you CANNOT change my mind. he’d try to overdose on crushed up jolly ranchers (someone scammed him, placebo affect go crazy) while laying face down on the carpet with this song in the background. someone asks him to hangout he’s like nah i’m busy today.. he’s just listening to this song while ugly crying about nothing in particular.

jean- maneater- nelly furtado

much like gabi, he’d probably say his favourite song is something like too many nights or big poppa.. but we all know this is what he’d listen to. that and promiscuous (also by nelly furtado. he’s a huge fan) yeah nobody believes him when he says a hip-hop/rap song.

falco- kidz bop version of ms.jackson. (that kidz pop song SPECIFICALLY.)

while other people are stanning loona or whatever artist he’s stanning kidz bop.. like a true alpha male. he’d also probably say shit like “fudge” instead of fuck and yell “language!!” when someone cusses. bless his heart.

hope u know all these songs, they’re very.. diverse. it took a while to get you these headcanons but i’ve been busy lately.

Hiya xD

Gotta admit, I didn't know a lot of these songs so I had to look them up. Had a great time tho!

I like Levi listening to Elvis. He's an old time king, and he's right - old timey songs really do FTW. Nothing like being holed up in your house with some fucking great tea and 50's rock n roll.

Annie tho xD She can listen to ALLLLLL the diss tracks and hard rap she wants to and wear outfits that got drip and swag but she'll never beat the cute allegations. Sorry but that's... That's just how it is.

But Armin - nursery rhymes???!?! Come ooonnnn you gotta give him more credit than that lol xD I like to think he enjoys pop and instrumental a lot.

Gabi, Falco and Jean being like "No! We're tough nuts! In this house we listen to songs that go hard!" And then actually listening to energetic pop and kidz bop lmaooooo. People pretend they don't know so these three can keep their pride intact xD (secretly they're a club of liars)

I listened to Telepatía by Kali Uchis and omg 🥺 I can imagine Pieck vibing to that slow R&B soul in her room. Dancing around her room as the record player plays and plays and plays. Ahhhh that's such a good image!

The best ones are for last.

Connie boy! He's definitely not got a thought in his head with that song as he drives - and it's a pretty GREAT road trip too! All cheer and good vibes!

Reiner listening to Caramelldanssen is the only thing of true value in this post. In true style, he's got the video and everything playing on the largest screen in his house. He knows the moves. He dances, he sings, he cries.

(the others are horrified. Perfect time for Annie to spit some 2pac diss bars).

thank you for sending these in omg xD

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Mention of riize made me want to pick your brain on the current state of kpop. I find the longevity of the 3rd gen boy group popularity fascinating, given how things were for the generations previous. What do you think might be behind the dearth of 4th gen bg kpop musics resonating with the korean public?

I don't live in korea, so I can't comment on the lived realities of music consumption in the country. Given your experiences and music expertise, I'd love to hear your thoughts! My understanding is that 4th gen bg music was not an easy listening experience and the public was turned off by the burning sun scandal??

***

“What do you think might be behind the dearth of 4th gen bg kpop musics resonating with the korean public”

BTS.

And the specific reasons why are linked to a couple other factors.

BTS is still pretty much a wall, even for 5th gen groups. K-pop generations typically last about 7 years, both tied to contracts and the typical life cycle of previous star idols at their peaks. For example, GDragon / BigBang was very popular from 2012 to 2018, for Girls Generation their peak years were 2009 to 2015. Both groups are active till today but even during their peaks, in 2015 and 2018, BTS was out charting both groups.

BTS is ~2 years into their hiatus and halfway through completing their military service and yet, nobody is anywhere near their critical acclaim and charting performance. Like, nowhere in the vicinity.

Like I keep saying, the biggest determinant for BTS’s success is their music. We know K-pop or ‘idol music’ in general is a somewhat niche space in Korea (Korea has its regular pop singers like Gaho, Junny, or Jimmy Brown who certainly aren’t traditional k-pop), but one reason BTS has had the widest appeal to the Korean gp is the quality of their music and lyrics. This is something I’ve talked about before so I won’t go into it lol, but on that note, it brings me to one of the factors I said was linked above.

That factor is song choice. A lot of 4th gen groups have never once not snorted the EDM garbage. You know the ones, the groups who have two hammers: dubstep and trap (EDM), and who see everything as a nail. And that’s before we get into the frankly atrocious writing. Some songs are great to jam out to mindlessly in the gym or the club, but there’s no real substance to it. In my opinion. I also think songs like that have limited (obvious) appeal for the Korean public (with time and exposure therapy they’ll learn to tolerate it).

I think it’s been clear for a long time that most 4th gen boy groups have had to rely on other tools besides music to build up their fanbases. But those kinds of tools result in an increase in dedicated fan girls, not gp support which is what BTS and most girl groups enjoy. And again, a big reason for that is song choice.

Which is why 5th gen boy groups are doing more actual consumable music (thank you NewJeans), groups like Riize, ZB1, TWS, and BOYNEXTDOOR, are making waves and charting higher than Stray Kids or Ateez ever have.

The one leg-up those 4th boy groups have though, is their performance credibility and experience. And that’s what’s going to lead to the resurgence of 4th gen boy groups this year. I actually expect 2024 to be the best year ever for 4th gen boy groups, a modest reversal to the trend so far of the girl groups far outperforming the boys. NewJeans will dwarf everyone else, but overall boy groups in 4th gen will close the gap compared to their peers, in 2024. Ateez and Enhypen (performance juggernauts), Stray Kids and TXT (solid soundscape), The Boyz and P1Harmony (for the really cool kids) will be groups to watch for.

This year is critical for most boy groups because it’s their last chance to gain significant ground with k-pop fan girls (including ARMYs), before BTS comes back.

Because once BTS returns, that wall goes back up reinforced and mutated… it’s going to be so crazy lol.

[captivemuses]

Comfort food(s): If I'm going purely sweets then I'm going to say Thin Mints. I did Girl Scouts for a large portion of my childhood and those were and still are my absolute top tier favorite Girl Scout cookie and I'm not even kidding saying I could polish off an entire box in one sitting and regret nothing.

Comfort drink(s): Hot cup of coffee. Granted I normally drink iced coffee during the summertime for obvious reasons but hot coffee is still my favorite.

Comfort movie(s): Pirates of the Caribbean. More specifically the first three because I heavily prefer those to the fourth and fifth installments. I don't mind the fourth one and I'll willingly watch it if I'm in a mood to binge the series again but I wasn't in love with the fifth one and I just wish certain elements of the movie had happened in earlier installments instead. But I just love the cast as a whole and the soundtrack and I can have it on as the best background noise while I'm doing other things and just be happy. I also have the first three soundtracks at work to use as naptime music and my daycare kids genuinely love the music.

Comfort show(s): Yuri on Ice. I always do an annual rewatch of the show and have done so every year since the show came out in 2016. I'll probably keep doing so just because I'll always love the series even if MAPPA clearly doesn't because the suck-- /gets yanked off stage to not go on an anti MAPPA tangent again

Comfort clothing: Pajama pants. I wear those as much as I humanly can because they're stretchy and comfy, and ngl I'm extremely guilty of wearing them to work a lot only because I'm allowed to wear what I want as long as nothing's stained or ripped or having anything offensive or inappropriate for kids on it. I'm here for comfort not fashion when I clock in to take care of threenagers all day rofl.

Comfort song(s): Anything Lady Gaga. I'm not super familiar with her newest album Chromatica as I am with the previous ones but I'm still a huge fan of hers and I'd 100% go see her in concert again if the opportunity arose, she's worth every penny imo.

Comfort book(s): I don’t really have a set of comfort books to share right now. I might update this in the future with some, but the only memorable story is “You”. I prefer it over the show for sure. The exploration of a man so psychologically twisted that when he finally “settled” and had a kid, he would abandon a son, purely out of disgust, knowing that he would turn out just like him. Also, Guinevere Beck is my favourite. I just perceive her as a human character, somebody with flaws that are outlined clearly, and it was an aspect I really enjoyed. I might even reread the first book, just for her. Side note: the cage is such a cool concept, and I will be taking notes. kidding. not really.

Comfort game(s): Either anything Harvest Moon or old school Pokemon (think Johto region, that's always been my favorite). Those are old school nostalgia for me growing up and you'd have me be happy having to go restart the original Gold/Silver for the 15th time or go start a new save file on Harvest Moon (which speaking of I want to pick up the remake again once I'm out of icon hell and don't have to drag my laptop to work all the time). They're just relaxing turn my brain off games that I love.

tagged by: @iceiclehorned ty for the tag!!

tagging: @gildedsplendors @protectivemuses @reflective-muses @weltenwxndler @ofhope @galactia @crimsononiarataki and anyone else who's been good and hydrated today (and if you haven't you should so you can do this and say I tagged you!)

[princeresnikov]

it's in my nature {Tangerine} // 1

one. the scorpion: better a fruit fly than a clementine.

Chapter Summary: The Scorpion (Clementine) and The Prince board a train that will change their lives forever, and The Scorpion, at least, is non the wiser. The Prince makes sure her well trained but disheartened bodyguard knows her place, and Clementine really hates this goddamn family.

{ Masterlist }

A/N: 2744 words. Lets GO baybee. I've been reading the novel and tried to stylise my writing more to match that because I find the Isaka's writing style really engaging to read. :) also this is kind of a slow burner, as much as a fic that follows the film can be i suppose. also i think The Prince's characterisation might lean a bit more towards her book counterpart, but there's also a reason she doesn't mask her intentions around clementine as often as others. this is mildly edited at best.

Warnings: Don't be surprised when the OC is a terrible person and is implied to have done terrible things along with the rest of them. Chapter specific warnings will be added when necessary so please heed them. There will be smut in the future chapters.

Taglist: @venusthepirate [ always open, just message or comment! ]

-----

When Clementine boards the Shinkansen behind The Prince, she does so with a reverential, bowed head, always shadowing her charge only two steps behind.

"You're thinking awfully hard there, fruit fly," the Prince's tone is almost sing-song, marching through the aisle of the seventh cart to their seat. Of course she was able to pick up on Clementine's masked distraction. Clementine herself grimaces, at the tone, at the name, at her focus breaking.

"Going through dossiers in my head," she says frankly, sitting when directed to, smoothing the pleats of her skirt out against her thighs, eyes still trained down, impractical attire for her line of work, but appearances had always mattered more to The Prince, and hopefully there wouldn't be any acrobatics required today.

The Prince's own outfit is similar to Clementine's, skirt, blouse, though she had a sweater vest where Clementine wore a full sweater. The Prince was in pink, looking all kinds of girlish and innocent, while Clementine was in rich browns and oranges, as if she were able to blend into the wooden detailing and gold lighting of the first class cabin, or into the background of any scene she was party too, far more deliberate than one might assume. Both outfits were far more unassuming that either individual wearing them, for that exact reason. The only truly unique and practical item in Clementine's outfit was her expensive leather gloves, which served to house the two highly advanced prosthetics she required on each hand as she was missing both ring and pinkie fingers.

"Your job is simple, fruit fly, father hired you to keep an eye on me, and that's all you need to do," the Prince crossed one leg over the other, leaning back in her chair before she chanced a glance over her shoulder. Clementine's brow furrowed once more at the nickname, but kept her mouth shut. It had been a long while since she's been properly active in the field, and she'd forgotten how grating it was to be under The Prince's thumb.

The Shinkansen doesn't rumble to life like most other trains, it's take off is glass smooth, and Clementine barely feels a jolt as they finally head out from Tokyo.

"Why are you going through dossiers anyways?"

"Didn't bring a book, ma'am," Clementine tells her, peering out from her seat to scan the aisle, cautious where the Prince's similar movement had been strangely anticipatory.

"I could lend you one," the Prince somehow even managed to sound condescending with a simple offer. Clementine politely declined, and for a few moments they share a calm silence. The kid reads too much True Crime, and Clementine had enough stories of her own to not bother with the sensationalized, publicised stuff. Her mind instead drifts once more, to Cape Town, to Barcelona, to Santiago, to the past year and a half that she'd spent intelligence gathering all over the world. Others like her, hitmen, assassins, trained killers from all walks of life, she had hunted them, practically stalked them at her client's request, spending months gathering every scrap of information she could about them while living in the periphery of their lives. She never had to pull the trigger, no her employer had grander things in mind, things that Clementine need not be privy to to do her job. So she did, never afraid of what lengths she would have to go to in getting everything she needed. In New York -

"I should call you Clementine too," The Prince mused blithely. Clementine's nose scrunched almost involuntarily, "not a fan?" The Prince has always liked watching her reactions; Clementine is a fun toy for the bored teen, if only you knew how to push her buttons, "its even on your necklace; it'd be rude not to." There's the beginnings of a cruel smile at the edge of The Prince's lips, but Clementine composed herself. The dainty necklace around her neck, complete with a tiny, glass clementine, however, feels distinctly heavy.

"Whatever would suit you, ma'am."

"You're so passive," The Prince practically sulks, arms crossed, expression sour as she looks pointedly at the head rest in front of her. The seats around them are far emptier than Clementine had expected, but she's grateful to have relative privacy for this conversation.

"I'd prefer fruit fly," Clementine says carefully, "or cockroach -"

"But Clementine's so pretty," The Prince is clearly teasing. Clementine sits a little straighter but doesn't look up from her hands in her lap, "and you're not even a cockroach anymore."

"I was never a fruit fly, and yet," Clementine finally casts a less than amused look at the Prince, mouth set in a thin line. The Prince seems to be taking this all as one big joke, if the mirth alight in her eyes is any indication.

"Clementine," the Prince tried to school her expression into something more serious, tried to hide her smile when their eyes met, but it's not particularly effective.

"Yes, ma'am?" Clementine tried to remain as neutral as she was able, though The Prince still seemed to see the resignation in her, and was thrilled by it. For all the time Clementine had known her, she'd always known The Prince took great pleasure in inflicting cruelty on others as some sort of bizarre experiment about the nature of humanity.

"You really are tragically formal."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And tragically dull."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Can you not call me that? You make me sound like my mother," and despite The Prince's casual tone, Clementine still frowns reflexively. They both know she said it to cause a reaction; the Prince prides herself on any power she can claim over others, even something as small as that.

Clementine hesitates for a long moment before she dips her head, if only to hide her eye roll.

"Your highness," she doesnt even fight her own rueful tone, but The Prince at least doesn't seem to mind.

"I know you're teasing, but I actually would prefer that," she offers. Clementine gives a non-committal hum, but does not see fit to respond further. At that, The Prince makes a face, propping her chin up on her hand and tapping her cheek with her index finger, as if analysing Clementine thoroughly. Clementine finally looks away from her charge and the malevolent gleam in her eyes, comfortable simply being observed in this moment.

"I can't believe he obsessed over you like he did," there's something cold in the Prince's voice. A muscle in Clementine's jaw twitched. "Was it something sexual?" The question startles the demure mercenary, though years of training mean the only outward display of this is the derisive way her lip curls.

"I don't think this is appropriate, ma'am," Clementine struggles to keep her tone passive. The Prince gives her no reprieve.

"Oh hardly," she laughs, "but I'm still asking. Don't be a prude, Clem," it almost sounds like they're friends, a stranger may mistake them as such. Glancing at The Prince shows the girl's body language to be open and easy, hands and shoulders relaxed, a trap to Clementine's expertly trained eye, who knew the teen far better than to trust her, "come on, I know how easy it is to manipulate someone when you know what they want, and sex is such a base desire," then, carefully, the Prince leans back in her seat, looking again to the empty headrest in front of her, "I've read your reports, I know how you operate." The Prince glances back over her shoulder, down the aisle, before settling further into her seat.

"I don't know why he was obsessed with me," Clementine answers slowly, "though, if I did have an idea about why, I still wouldn't share it with you, ma'am."

The Prince actually groans with frustration, head pushed back against her headrest as she squeezes her eyes shut tightly. Arms crossed over her chest, she looks markedly less relaxed than she had done moments ago. It's the little things in life that Clementine had had to find joy in, and now, the arrogant Prince's frustration is one she'd gladly enjoy. Clementine relaxes her own shoulders, lets the tension drop from her jaw as she smiles; it's a give and take of tension between them, and has been for as long as Clementine's known The Prince and her family, neither made happy from the others joy as much as their anguish.

"Dull," The Prince huffs petulantly, "can you go be dull elsewhere?"

"Is that an order?" Clementine was genuinely confused, which only seemed to irritate The Prince further. The young woman's face scrunches with some kind of put-upon frustration at the question. The Prince often lamented the predictability of the world around her, the way everyone always behaved as expected, but admitted that Clementine often caught her off guard in the most 'deeply uninspiring' way. Again, it was one of the small joys of the mercenary's life. Instead of beratting her bodyguard, however, The Prince sits up a little, but remains looking forward as she speaks.

"In a sense, yes; there's money on this train and I need you to find it for me," the teen says, voice dropping low so there was no chance of any of the few more remote passengers would hear her. Clementine outright scowled at this.

"Absolutely not," without hesitation, Clementine declined. This mission was humiliating and demeaning enough, posing as the tutor for 'The Prince', acting more like the girl's handmaiden, she was not going to encourage the girl's sense of entitlement any more than she could help.

"So quick to judge," The Prince admonished, shaking her head, "it's not like I'm going to keep it, I just want to make sure it's all there."

"Why don't I believe you?" Clementine narrowed her eyes at her charge.

"Because you're deeply paranoid, fruit fly, which is healthy in your line of work, I'll grant you that, but I promise for once I'm being genuine; that money will see its rightful owner," the Prince, for once, sounded mostly genuine, and Clementine sighed, "I think you should start looking in the third car." Considering how little Clementine wanted to remain in The Prince's presence, and The Prince's unfortunately well established, almost supernatural good luck, Clementine gracefully rises from her seat. The Prince smiled toothily at her, "at least you're predictably obedient, good for something I suppose."

"If I come back to any shenanigans -" Clementine hissed.

"Shenanigans? How old are you?" The Prince cut her off with disbelieving glee, which Clementine ignored.

"I'll knock your ass out myself so I can make sure you behave for the rest of the trip," the tick in Clementine's jaw is back at the sight of The Prince's smug little smile in the face of the threat.

"When you come back with the money you can make that judgement call," is all she said. Then holding up her own, little phone, The Prince's smile became wider, almost as if she were trying to convince Clementine of her innocence; it may have worked on someone less familiar with her, "I'll text if I need anything, I promise."

Clementine carefully smoothed her expression to something more neutral, and nodded, about to reply when her own phone starts ringing. The Prince cocks her head to the side, intrigued by the coincidence, and Clementine fishes the phone from her bag. It's The Prince's father, and she tells the teen as much.

"Tell him I'm having a wonderful time," she settles into her seat with a languid ease as Clementine rolls her eyes and takes off up the aisle while answering.

"Your daughter wanted me to pass on that she's having a wonderful time," Clementine tells him almost robotically, in lieu of a proper greeting.

"So you've both settled comfortably on the train?"

Away from The Prince, Clementine allowed herself to relax, tension in her shoulders easing, walking with a well earned confidence.

"It's well lit but not overbearing, everyone's suffocatingly helpful, the leather chairs are immaculate," Clementine rattles off with a detached kind of boredom now, "running an errand for The Prince now but we're in constant contact, not that there should be any problem."

"An errand?"

"A fetch quest for her royal highness; don't worry, she won't leave first class, that's why you've got me here," Clementine assures with a practiced warmth, gliding with ease down the aisles of the train, making sure to look over and catalogue as much detail as she could.

"Scorpion," he uses her code name with such malice, even as he'd bestowed it on her several years before. It's never gotten easier to hear from him, "if a single hair on her head so much as splits, you will no longer have your own, do I make myself clear."

Clementine bites her tongue as the irritation bubbles up venomously inside her.

"As crystal, sir," she mutters through her teeth, stopping at the baggage hold between the third and fourth cars. Peering through the window on the door, the economy seating is just as blue as the she'd just passed, and just as sparsely filled. It's a straight shot to the end of the car, to the baggage hold between cars two and three, and she'd rather start back there and work her way up. She thinks she sees someone catch a glimpse of her peering through the window, analysing the composition of the car, but she's trying desperately to not draw attention to herself, and so ducks back the little vanity area to finish her conversation.

"Nothing will happen," Clementine assures, drawing the curtain across and leaning against the wall, making sure not to catch sight of herself in the mirror. The blonde is new, it's been drawing attention all around Tokyo and it feels too ostentatious, but her boss insisted, and she really doesn't like to refuse him.

"Still, one must always plan for contingencies; unlucky that she insisted on such a public form of transport, lucky that you were available."

"Your wish is my command, sir," Clementine fiddled with her gloves, making sure they were secure, and the prosthetics they concealed were all at full capabilities.

"You have demonstrated your respect and loyalty these past few years, especially after rejecting my family's kind offer, and the incident that followed," as he speaks, Clementine stops fiddling; he often brings up the past in order to hold it over her head, this time felt distinctly different, "once you have safely escorted my daughter to her destination, your debt to me will be cleared," Clementine feels like her heart has stopped in her chest, "you will be free to take on freelance contracts wherever you wish, though you are more than welcome to work with myself and my family at your previous rate."

"You'll rescind the burn notice?" Oh, Clementine hopes he doesn't judge her for the hope in her voice. A pause follows, and a strangely amused chuckle.

"I'll rescind the burn notice," he agrees, "I will re-endorse you to my colleagues and contacts, and -" he pauses for effect, "while your direct payment will still be at your reduced rate, you will be able to secure the remaining amount that will meet your previous rate upon that very train."

In that instance, Clementine feels an almost sickening sense of joy and even fondness for The Prince several cars down. Foolish to think she wouldn't be in on this in some way; she's far too perceptive, even if her father hadn't clued her in she'd still have found out one way or another.

"There's money on this train?" Clementine murmurs, carefully peering out behind the curtain to make absolutely sure she was alone.

"Yes, in a briefcase, I believe my contact who has stored it on the train put a sticker on the handle of a train itself."

"Thank you, sir! I'll find it."

"Scorpion, do not forget the terms of this; this is your only chance." And he hangs up without even saying goodbye.

Clementine's barely containing her glee, she's overwhelming giddy in this moment of solitude, bouncing on her toes. It's the best conversation she's ever had with him, a far cry from the man who took four fingers from her as punishment years ago.

Perhaps she could have been kinder to The Prince, after all, without her help Clementine wouldn't have the first clue where to look for the cash. Finally, with the promise of freedom, she can go back to loving her work, to choosing it for herself, to reminding those in the circles she used to run in that she was still top of her game. There was a confidence now, one she hadn't felt in years.

Until she opens the third car's door.

[thatgirl4815]

I really hope that the lyrics of the song Ray was singing in the record store is not foreshadowing for the finale. I'm a bit scared though because the song lyrics they picked in this series seems to be pretty literal as far. I read somewhere on twitter that the director said no one dies, but there is still the possibility of a metaphorical death if Ray decides to give up on a healthy mental state and just stop caring about being alive in case his relationship with Sand doesn't work. If the creators decide to put in this dramatic turn I would accept if it's executed well and the scenes are coherent and logical, but I would still be sad. Don't have big hopes right now though.

I know that scene with Ray singing at the record store is played for laughs, but I agree that the specific lyrics he sings are actually quite reflective of SandRay's situation...

"If today I have your love to refuel me

I might have enough energy to move forward

If only my heart had been filled with love

I wouldn't have died"

It's also sad because I imagine Ray listening to this song by himself and really relating to those lyrics, especially in the wake of the therapy scene in Ep10.

I'm feeling fairly certain that things will work out alright between Sand and Ray because of the emotional investment that the series has very intentionally built up. Again, if BOEING of all people is the one who breaks them apart and leads to Ray being alone, that would feel like an incredibly cheap ending. Not to mention, I think it would also lessen the impact of that beautiful scene to end Ep10. That's yet another reason why I wish we would've had Boeing enter the conflict earlier--Ep10 feels like peak conflict for Sand and Ray given the weight of Ray's addiction and his acknowledgment of his feelings for Sand. This conflict feels lesser by comparison, which doesn't mean it isn't a valid conflict per se, but in my mind it does not compare to the sheer impact of the apartment fight, the imaginary Sand scene, and the apology scene to follow at the beginning of Ep11.

Also, for me personally, if Top and Mew end up together but Sand and Ray don't make it, I think that would be the biggest punch to the face. Sand and Ray's storyline is, in my opinion, so much more poignant; for it to end on a hopeless note would almost feel like a betrayal atp.

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Fun With Trauma

Hi all -- it's time to talk about my VITD trio again! Specifically, today we're discussing their Traumas! :D Now, "Trauma" in Blades In The Dark refers to a condition your scoundrel picks up when they max out their stress during the course of their adventure -- once they fill up all their stress boxes, they have some sort of mental break, can no longer participate in the rest of the current score, and develop a new specific personality quirk that will haunt them for the rest of the adventures. A character can develop four traumas before they have to be retired from life as a scoundrel (either literally retiring or being thrown into jail as a sacrifice to the Bluecoats). On the plus side, each new trauma is also a chance to earn extra XP -- if your character struggles with the side effects of a trauma during a score, you can mark a point or two of XP for it and level up your character a little bit faster. The book has eight potential traumas for scoundrels to pick up -- Cold, Haunted, Obsessed, Paranoid, Reckless, Soft, Unstable, and Vicious -- but as I've thought about my trio and where I want them to go (and what other systems in the book I'd like to use), I've come up with somewhat more bespoke traumas for them:

-->Alice: Our favorite Cutter actually starts with a trauma -- as I've mentioned before, I looked at the description for the Haunted trauma -- "You’re often lost in reverie, reliving past horrors, seeing things" (pg 14) -- and went "yeah, that pretty well covers her hallucinations of Wonderland." (It's the reason she also gets two starting abilities instead of just one -- trade-off!) As for her next potential trauma, I was initially considering Vicious -- "You seek out opportunities to hurt people, even for no good reason" -- but then decided that perhaps a slightly more logical one would be a tweaked form called Overprotective -- "You make sure everyone knows that what's yours is yours, to the point of violence." Alice is, of course, protective of Victor and Smiler even before she picks up this particular trauma, but afterward, she can get a little overenthusiastic about keeping danger away from them, simply because she doesn't want to lose the people she loves again. That house fire where her family died did a number on her head, after all! The pair probably have to rein her in sometimes to make sure she doesn't accidentally cause them more trouble trying to keep them safe. I don't have a specific scene in mind for what triggers it, but I know it would have to involve Victor and/or Smiler getting hurt and her just letting loose to protect them.

-->Victor: My initial ideas for a trauma for our lovely Whisper were Paranoid -- "You imagine danger everywhere; you can’t trust others" -- as the result of a particularly dangerous score that spooked him badly, or Obsessed -- "You’re enthralled by one thing: an activity, a person, an ideology" -- as the result of him getting a little too much into studying the dangerous magic of Duskwall...but then, while researching the Ritual special ability to figure out how to create new rituals for Victor to use, I found the sample ritual "Portal to the Depths" -- which involves singing an ancient song to open a portal up into the Void Sea, swamping anyone unlucky enough to be in front of it with its dark water filled with mysterious starlight and dragging them into the cold depths. The thing is, whenever someone uses this ritual, along with taking six stress, they must also tick a progress clock called "Seduced By The Leviathan's Song."

Cue me coming up with a scene where Victor, having filled up that progress clock, is with Alice and Smiler at The Docks (yes, this the name of a neighborhood in the city; it is self-explanatory) -- and ends up getting mind-controlled by the song of a nearby Leviathan into nearly walking off one of said docks to either drown or get devoured. Fortunately, this is after the trio have started playing with hypnosis in their private lives, and Smiler and Alice are able to stop him in his tracks by invoking their control over his mind -- but the experience leaves Victor with the custom trauma Phobia -- "You are terrified of a particular person, thing, or place and refuse to be near it." As you might imagine, Victor's terror revolves around the ocean, and he refuses to be anywhere near it if he can -- no more scores involving The Docks for this trio!

-->Smiler: Deciding on any trauma conditions for our cheerful combination Leech/Slide was a bit tricky for me at first -- not only is Smiler a naturally-cheery person who takes a lot of things that would stress out others in stride (see them very casually talking to ghosts in "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of"), they also of course end up in possession of the ability Functioning Vice, which allows them to adjust how much stress they clear when indulging their Vice and makes emptying out that track between scores a lot easier. I really wasn't sure which of the ones on offer would actually fit them --

And then. While reading through the "Changing The Game" section of the book, I stumbled across the "Forgotten Gods" section in "Advanced Abilities and Permissions." Which details what happens when your character opens their mind to a forgotten god -- including access to the ability Glorious Visage, which allows the character to hit everyone in the vicinity with an image of the god's form, costing them three stress and causing everyone around them to at least flee in fear or be paralyzed with dread. The more traumatized the character, the more harm they can do, up to killing a specific person by shattering their mind. I was like "Oooooo, wow, creepy but neat" --

And then I was like "Smiler's already been touched by their god..."

Cue the creation of the custom trauma Vessel -- "Your body is capable of hosting the will of a forgotten god -- and they know it." The way I see this working for Smiler is, the first time they overmax their stress, their god Mar-Mal sees this, is like "!!! Let me help!" and straight-up possesses their body for the rest of the score. Fortunately they do leave once the danger is passed -- helped by Victor and Alice going "It would make us VERY HAPPY if you gave us Smiler back" -- and Smiler recovers from the experience, but the door has been opened in their head, and it's not being shut anytime soon. The trauma automatically gives them access to the customized special ability Joyous Visage -- where Smiler can use Mar-Mal's power to stun people with happiness (it works a bit like the "Hysteria" power in VTMB's version of the Dementation discipline, with people getting completely incapacitated by laughter) -- but every time Smiler uses that power, a die must be rolled. On a six, they use the power safely and only take two stress; on a five through two, they use the power but Mar-Mal takes an interest in the proceedings, forcing them to take three stress; and on a one, Mar-Mal is like "time to take over again!" and possesses their body for the rest of the score. On the plus side, Mar-Mal automatically succeeds at everything they do while in control of Smiler's body (they are a fucking god, after all); on the minus side, when they leave, Smiler has to deal with Level 2 "Post-Possession Exhaustion" harm (because hosting the power of a god is no joke). Smiler has mixed feelings about this whole situation -- on the one hand, they're super excited that they can host the will of their god and not die, but on the other...they are a little scared that maybe, one day, Mar-Mal won't give their body back...

And there we have it -- three lovely traumas for my characters to suffer with! I don't know yet when they'll come into play during all the various stories I have planned, but they are there when I need them! I'm sure the trio are thrilled. XD

[thebreakfastgenie]

Billy Joel songs as mash characters?

Darling this is not a simple question. This is a subject I have been pondering for some time.

Hawkeye - I Go to Extremes

Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm shot Sometimes I don't know how much more I got Maybe I'm headed over the hill Maybe I set myself up for the kill Tell me, how much do you think you can take Until the heart in you is starting to break? Sometimes it feels like it will

This is hard because, a lot of songs fit him. I have, previously, associated Hawkeye with Tomorrow Is Today, Pressure, and Everybody Loves You Now. I also think there's something there for Code of Silence (which could also fit other characters, I considered it for Charles; it's kind of an all-purpose trauma song). I wanted to do something different, which is why I picked this one. I don't see it as being about mood swings, despite the chorus, but the verses really sound like Hawkeye to me. It's that feeling of constantly fighting something and being at a breaking point.

Tomorrow is Today Pressure Everybody Loves You Now

Trapper - Only the Good Die Young

You mighta heard I run with a dangerous crowd We ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud We might be laughing a bit too loud Aw, but that never hurt no one

Look, I know it's basic, but it fits. The melody and beat fit him too! He's might seem a little rough but he has a heart of gold and wants to have a good time! And he's a threat to good Catholic girls everywhere.

Henry - Big Man on Mulberry Street

Why can't I cool out? Why don't I button my lip? Why do I lash out? Why is it I always shoot from the hip?

It's just a vibe! I think the melody and lyrics both fit his kind of anxious everyman thing.

Radar - Get It Right the First Time

I'm not much good at conversation I was never to smooth at comin' on real strong If all it takes is inspiration Then I might have just what it takes If I don't make no bad mistakes and I get it right the first time That's the main thing

The lyrics fit Radar's interest in romance, but the melody as well as parts of the chorus also remind me of how seriously he takes his job as clerk and how busy he always is. Sexually the first time did not last for Radar, but you know.

Margaret - She's Always a Woman

Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants She's ahead of her time Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in She just changes her mind

Look, I know. But it's perfect. It's about a woman in a male-dominated field who was widely hated for being too assertive and generally for misogynistic reasons. She's all these things, but she's still a woman. Plus the vaguely negative vibe to it fits Margaret too.

Frank - Why Judy Why

I never thought that I would need, need a friend But I did, in the end Tell me why, Judy, why

I really puzzled over this one, but I couldn't think of any Frank songs that summed up his whole character, so I chose one that I thought fit a specific part of his story. I don't think Frank ever anticipated Margaret would actually leave him, and when it happens, he's crushed. He does need a friend and he doesn't have any. "Judy" could be Hawkeye and Trapper or BJ, or it could be his mom, depending on the episode. I chose to focus on pathetic Frank, but while he's with Margaret, Blonde Over Blue fits as well. There's also a demo called The End of the World that I like to associate with Frank's fears of Louise becoming her own person.

Klinger - You May Be Right

You may be right I may be crazy Oh, but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for It's too late to fight It's too late to change me

Choosing a song for him was so hard! I think the general vibe of this one fits with the melody and all. Obviously "I may be crazy" is very Klinger but I also think "don't try to change me" conveys his absolutely refusal to be turned into a killer. I also like She's Right On Time as a Klinger/Soon-Lee song.

Mulcahy - All About Soul

This life isn't fair It's gonna get dark, it's gonna get cold You've got to get tough, but that ain't enough It's all about soul

It's a romantic song, but you don't have to take it that way, and I think it describes Mulcahy's role in the group well. They need more than toughness and more than medical skill. They need a heart, someone who can look after their souls.

BJ - Temptation

'Cause I know what all of my friends say There's a danger in wanting too much But she's such a temptation

It's about his baby daughter. It's about overwhelming love, but it conveys a bit of a dark side, too. Being in Korea is even more painful because he loves his daughter so much, so I think that desperation and fear of how strong those feelings are suit BJ well.

Potter - Shades of Grey

Once there were trenches and walls And one point of every view Fight 'til the other man falls Kill him before he kills you These days the edges are blurred I'm old and tired of war I hear the other man's words I'm not that sure anymore

It just so perfectly encapsulates Potter's changing feelings about war as a career soldier who once believed in the romance of it. Billy Joel also has a demo called The Siegfried Line that fits Potter very well because it's about WWII.

Charles - Where's the Orchestra

After all, this is my big night on the town My introduction to the theatre crowd I assumed that the show would have a song So I was wrong

I assigned this to him once a while ago and I'm glad I remembered because it's perfect for him. The melancholy melody... the feeling of getting/having everything you want but something not being right... being out of place in the place you're supposed to fit... and the lyrics are perfect for him because of his love of music and experience with the musicians.

As a bonus, I've previously associated This Is the Time and Famous Last Words with the entire cast!

This Is the Time Famous Last Words

Goodnight Saigon reminds me of MASH a lot too, with the choppers and some of the lyrics, but it's very anchored to Vietnam. And of course I'd be remiss if I didn't mention his two songs that actually reference the Korean War directly, We Didn't Start the Fire and Leningrad.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Badger-A-Go-Go 1989 College Rock / Indie Rock / Power Pop / Avant Garde

I don't think that comps like this really get made that much anymore, either physically or digitally, but all throughout the 80s, 90s, and probably up until the ~mid-2000s, it seemed that nearly every American city, sizeable suburban cluster, and college town had had some sort of snapshot made of its own locally eclectic independent music scene at one point that you could pick up in that locale's own record stores. People who put these things together may not have realized what vital artifacts they'd end up becoming later on down the line, but with this Badger-A-Go-Go CD from the now-defunct brick-and-mortar shop that was Atomic Records—which also operated briefly as a label—we get a nice, little document of what was bustling in late 80s Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Now, inevitably, when you sift through local comps of this type, not everything is gonna slap. A bunch of local bands end up staying local for good reason, and Milwaukee is no exception; a lot of this music, with 35 years of hindsight, is really not that much to write home about. And even though some of these bands did end up making decent names for themselves—Plasticland appeared on a comp from pioneering indie label BOMP! Records; Die Kreuzen were on Touch and Go; and E-I-E-I-O landed on Frontier, which had been home to bands like Circle Jerks, Suicidal Tendencies, American Music Club, and T.S.O.L.—the fact of the matter is that every song that appeared on this album was an exclusive. And that certainly makes this thing a must-have for any die-hard completist fan of any of the bands that are on here, but it's also something that usually suggests that each band didn't contribute any of their A+ material, either.

But with all of those caveats, we still nevertheless appear to have a couple gems on here—one from a band called Dummy Club and another by a group that goes by the irreverent name of Couch Flambeau.

It might strike some as odd for a psychobilly band from anywhere in the US to actually find the bulk of its success in a place like Germany instead, but that appears to have been the case with Dummy Club. Founded in '82, they would end up making their only release in '85 on Berlin label Zensor, and then would make their final appearance in '89 on this very comp, before breaking up and then later re-forming as the Psycho Bunnies. Here, with their amphetamine-fueled and punky Americana sound, they deliver "The American Way," a shouted anthem that not only ironically proclaims that the quote-unquote 'American way of life' actually stinks, but it also smells! 🇺🇲👃😫

And then Couch Flambeau, who both Discogs and RateYourMusic seem to bill as a punk band, deliver something that doesn't actually feel all that punk in "Helvetica," a dynamic piece of flowy indie rock with a wacky and off-key, childlike lead vocal that definitely sounds inspired by lo-fi outsider king Daniel Johnston.

Apparently Dave Grohl has professed himself as a fan of Couch Flambeau too, and guess what? If you actually visit the Atomic Records website, where the business still operates as an online storefront, the first thing you'll see on there is an old pic of Dave playing at a show while wearing an Atomic Records tee! And being that today was the first time that I actually visited their website, I thought that maybe they had just put it up as a joke recently in light of Dave's recent news (he just had a biological kid outside of his own marriage!), but apparently it's been up there for a while now 😅.

Anyway, always love digging into these comps that reflect the arts and cultures of specific pockets of the country from a certain point in time. Most of these kinds of albums expectedly don't end up bearing much fruit, but it's still worth it to learn about local scenes and find a couple sweet and obscure songs along the way 😎.

Highlights:

Dummy Club - "The American Way" Couch Flambeau - "Helvetica"

[joeys-piano]

Writerly Questionnaire

... aka the first bit of writing I've done this week, other than work reports and audit workpapers and burning the midnight oil over with nothing but a red Teams icon. Thank you for tagging me @agirlandherquill! You've no idea what a bright spot this has been for my week.

About Me:

When did you first start writing?

I started officially posting my work December 2011. It was a Vocaloid fic inspired by one of the popular songs at the time.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I don't write much angst anymore because of health reasons. I also don't write much fluff anymore for the same reasons. But it's perfectly fine for me to read it, though 🥰 My writing preferences are heavy introspection, slice of life, and flavors of horror.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

I don't think I have one. Nor do people compare me to other writers. I've been told my writing requires you to be in a certain mood to read it, so there's that.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

90% of the time I write while cuddled in bed, fuzzy under my favorite blanket, and a soft plush just staring at me as I write on my phone. Yes, I'm one of those writers.

Once upon a time, I used to be the writer who wrote on my laptop and at a desk. But life is too short for back, shoulder, and arm pain. So I write in bed, usually while lying down, and chip away at the work on my phone. I'm a faster writer on my laptop, but it's much easier for me to be creative when I'm not on a laptop. And really, at the end of the day after work, after sitting in front of a laptop all day, writing on my phone felt obvious.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Thinking to myself what kind of story I want to read but haven't found a writer who's written it.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Geographically, no. Emotionally, yes.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

I think the most recurring themes are "it's good you found people you can be yourself around" and "it's okay if you're just you". These don't surprise me at all.

The more I write about it, the more I feel comfortable being myself, too.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

If I hadn't followed the path of the writer, I would've been a video editor and would make music video-style edits for things I enjoy. But alas, I picked one or the other because both take a lot of time.

I write because there was this one point in 2014 where I wanted to quit as a writer because I didn't feel like I could write the things I envisioned and wasn't skilled enough to pull the things I wanted to do. In the nearly ten years since then, I've written a lot of stuff 2014 me didn't know I was capable of because the only way I really get better at anything is when I try. I try, and I "fail". But I gave effort, and that means something. Every little thing counts. I think I write at this point, in spite of how hard it is, is because I want to tell 2014 me what I wouldn't have experienced in my journey if I had stopped.

I've met my dearest friends through writing. I've gotten more comfortable with who I am because of writing. I have a career because of writing and get to give back to the creatives I admire and whom I want to see thrive in their art. I wouldn't be who I am today had I quit in 2014.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Comments where people tell me they've reread a work again.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented world builder, as a role model, etc)

"Joey makes you laugh and cry, and sometimes both at the same time."

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Rhythm and vibes.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Others have told me it's my characterizations. It's how I capture a distinct voice through the narrative.

But on an aesthetic note, that my writing is pretty.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question)

It's a foggy mirror after a hot shower and I'm drawing a smiley face to unearth my reflection.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yeah.

It gives me something to talk to.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it's a mix of the two, which holds most influence?

It's a seesaw of both. Ultimately, it's my time I'm spending on a project. I might as well write something I enjoy.

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Tagging nobody but @voxofthevoid.