#and I don't feel like doing the work to get it back to the saturation levels it was supposed to be at. just trust me besties

[surpriseraisin]

Demon!Stan Au - Eye Under Stan

During one of his summoning for Bill, Stanford's mind kept straying towards Stan. The frustration at the lack of his progress and helplessness turning to anger at the situation brings a familiar burn in his chest and stiffness as he clenches his teeth. As it often does, his mind wanders to what he believes is the root of his troubles, Stanley Pines.

What Standford doesn't know is that in one of the many many meetings that Stanley will having during his bid to make a lot of money to finally come home, Stanley met a being who finds him charming and amusing enough to give him a little gift as a tip. A gift given without much thought and doesn't keep in mind that the recipient of this gift is a mortal human, only that it is a tip given in good faith to a witty serendipity.

__

"For a conman who makes lies into reality, or at least convince reality to play along long enough to capture belief into profit, what better gift than to ascend that skill into a real wonder. For you Stanley Pines, I gift you More. You're meant for the stars, let me lift you there. Get you a real taste of Magic. Anyway, I haven't done this in a while but hey what does A while mean to eternity anyway. Okay stand still, this might pinch a bit."

__

Stanley basically becomes a demon, contract making deal abilities and more. I imagine him to have infomercial like domain, in comparison to bills mindscape thing. Where if Stanley is talking in his demonic form, Tv static fuzz appears around and Old timey infomercial vibes with the saturated but also muted colorscheme. He can also be experience through a phonecall, where like a scam call he gets you with a specific tidbit about you and then proceeds to try and sell you on something. But he's charismatic enough that even people who don't believe him give him the time to finish his schtick. Often these people spread the word as a funny story, and through this Stanley's 'audience' spreads.

__

Anyway back to the summoning, while Standford originally wanted to summon bill to answer his questions, due to his wandering mind the circle latched on to who he was thinking of that can Also be summoned by a summoning circle.

Anyway he got a phone call while his temper started rising because "oh great another not working out for me, what is wrong with today". He picked it up eventually when it wouldn't stop ringing "What could you possibly want, Hello?"

"Hey pointdexter, doing something stupid? Guess without me there to fluff up the cast you had to take on All the roles huh? AHAHA Anyway, before you hang up the phone, i see that finger. Not that hard considering you have 6 of them AHAHA Back to the point, you got something you want? You need an answer i got what you need, all for the low low price of stay on the line."

--

Every once in a while Television and phones are used to communicate with each other, at least now the Stans have an outside source for their needs. And no matter how frayed their relationship is... 'Its you and me' rings true. Little deals and exchanges, more often than not leaving them both frustrated and cutting it short despite the consequences. Stanford lost the ability to lie to Stanley, and Stanley lost the ability to override Stanford hanging up or changing the channel.

The reunion still happens where Stanford ask for Stanley pines' help with the books. Due to the 'safety measures' he made in his house to keep bill out though, it made Stanley feel unwell and not able to flex his full powers. His emotions was also more unstable as in his the deal was he comes to meet his brother to help, and in exchange they'll spend time together as brothers again but Stanford told him to leave.

The sigil gets burned into his back, and makes him even more unwell and lashes out as he feels the sigil burn into his form. His powers snap out, 'punishing' Stanford for 'breaking' his part of the deal and granting him what he asked for, being away from Stanley. He regrets this insanely and throws a last minute deal in "SIXER, STANDFORD I'LL GET YOU BACK. I'LL FIND YOU AND GET YOU BACK I PROMISE."

__

This deal offers Stanford some protection from bill, acting as a sort of jammer against Bills scrying. Sometimes when Stanley has enough juice to do it he messes with what bill sees and 'changes the channel' so to speak.

[theladysherlock]

Photos Taken Seconds Before Casting Dimension Door to Ditch Your Father's Red Carpet Premiere of Fantasy Fast and Furious 18 Because You Want to Hang Out with Your Girlfriend

ID under the cut!

ID: Two people are holding hands and standing on a red carpet. On the left is a blonde half-elf woman with green eyes wearing a green dress and silver high heeled shoes, holding her silver shawl over her shoulder as though she’s preparing to leave. On the right is a taller half-orc man with dark hair and yellow eyes wearing a teal suit with a white shirt. The first few shirt buttons are left undone. He’s also wearing brown dress shoes and a thick leather bracelet. The two of them are grinning at each other. 

Behind them is a wall covered in fake brands. One in a serif font says “Southern Comforts Hotel & Casino.” One in a calligraphy font says “The Crestbrookdale Times.” One in a sans serif font says “fun little drink”. One in a sans serif font and surrounded by a circle says “car brand.”

[sanguineterrain]

how about Jason with the prompt "text me when you get home"? the one time they forget/fall asleep before sending the text and Jay loses hid mind. rushes over expecting them to be dead but they passed out on the couch as soon as they got home

really superbly SCRUMPTIOUS prompt Aud. I love protective jaybird 🥰‼️ thanks for sending something in 🫶

jason todd x gn!reader. worried protective snuggly jason. no warnings really, ya boy is just paranoid and madly in love with you 💓

request something! I rb all fics to @sanguinelibrary

****

As soon as you get out of your last class of the day, your phone rings.

You answer it, wedging the phone between your ear and shoulder as you fish in your bag for a couple of bills. You're already walking to the train station.

"Hi, snookie bear," you say into the phone, slightly delirious with hunger and sleep deprivation.

Jason snorts on the other end. "That's a new one. Hey, baby. Y'heading home?"

"Indeed I am."

"Need a ride?"

You wait and listen. Eventually, you hear the sounds of hitting and grunting in the background. You roll your eyes—only Jason would be in the middle of a fight and then ask if you need a ride home.

"No, I'm okay. It's not dark yet. Plus you sound busy."

"I'm never too busy for you," he says immediately. "And it's gonna get dark in an hour. Are you sure—"

"Yes, Jay," you say gently. "I'm sure. Don't worry about me. I'm going straight home."

You're already at the station. There's a good amount of people, students and workers alike. The university is in a relatively okay part of town, especially during the day. You're not worried. It's not like you traipse through Crime Alley on your downtime.

"Okay." Jason takes a deep breath. "Just—just be careful. Text me when you get home."

You note the hint of worry in his tone. Maybe this week has been particularly saturated with crime. Jason tends to get a little overbearing about your safety when he's had a tough week. You know he had go down to Blüdhaven and help his brother—with what specifically, you don't know.

Most of the time, you're sure you don't want to know.

"I always do," you say. The train pulls up to the station. "Ooh, train's here! I'll talk to you later. I'm thinking of ordering takeout. Too tired to cook."

"Okay, sweetheart. Be safe. Love you. Lock your door."

You roll your eyes fondly. "Yes, Jay. Love you too. Bye."

You hang up as you step onto the train. You pull your headphones out of your bag and shut your brain off during the ride. By the time you get off the train, you've lost hope that you'll be doing any work tonight. You're absolutely wiped out after three back-to-back classes.

It's still light when you get home. You lock the door after you get in, the habit ingrained into you, and dump your bag onto the couch.

Takeout is a no-go. You're hungry now and about thirty seconds away from passing out on the couch.

You change into your home clothes, eat a granola bar, and call it a day. You'll eat more later.

You turn off your phone to bar any annoying notifications and fall into bed, eyes closing immediately.

****

The sound of your deadbolt being teared off its chain wakes you up. You flinch and jump awake, trying to blink through sleep. Your mouth is dry from how hard you slept, and your eyesight is slightly blurry from the sudden flood of moisture.

Your bedroom door swings open, and suddenly you're pulled into warm, heavily muscled arms. You hug back on instinct; you'd know the feel of your boyfriend anywhere.

"Jay, h—"

"You didn't text," he says, voice shaking. "You said you would. I was—I thought you were—"

You tense, guilt knocking into you.

"Shit. Jason, I'm so sorry. I meant to, I was just so tired..."

Jason pulls back to look at you, hands still on your shoulders. His expression is stern.

"I'm gonna pick you up from now on. When are your late days?"

"Jay, no, GCU is across town. You can't possibly pick me up three days a week. That's too much! What about patrol?"

"Somebody else is out at this time," he says stonily. "Crime Alley can wait an hour while I get you home."

His eyes blaze green, a side effect of the Pit. You can tell he's putting every effort into keeping a lid on the worry and fear and anger over your silence.

"Jason." You cup his face. "Honey, I'm safe. I'm sorry I didn't text you. I'm sorry I worried you. But your adrenaline is spiked right now, Jay. Everything feels magnified. I don't need to be picked up. I was perfectly safe coming home. Okay?"

He shakes his head, holding your wrists. "Anything could've happened. I was so—fuck, baby, I was so scared. I-I checked the station footage and the traffic cams, and I didn't see you after you cut through the park, and I thought—I was sure you'd—"

Jason pulls your arms around his neck and buries his face into your shoulder. He supports you by the backs of your thighs, tugging you into his lap. Then he clings tight.

"Oh, Jay," you murmur, petting his curls. "I'm alright. This end of Gotham isn't so bad. And I know you'd have found me even if something had happened. But nothing did."

"Can't lose you," he chokes out.

"You won't lose me, honey," you say. "You keep me safe."

He trembles in your embrace. You kiss the shell of his ear and continue to pet his hair.

"Let me pick you up tomorrow, at least," he pleads. "We'll get dumplings at that place you like. You barely ate anything when you came home."

"Okay, Jay," you say, because you know he needs that reassurance. He won't relax without it. "That sounds good."

You keep stroking his hair. "Y'wanna order in now?"

"In a minute."

Jason lays you both down on the bed. He throws a leg over yours and pulls you into his chest. It's now that you see just how much tension is locked in his shoulders. He's exhausted.

"Jus' wanna hold you for a bit," he says, lips resting on your shoulder.

He's drowsy, the adrenaline finally ebbing. You close your eyes and snuggle into his arms.

"You can hold me for as long as you want," you say, threading your fingers with his. "I'm not going anywhere."

[cordeliawhohung]

UM HELLO?? MOTHER THE GAZ POST??? HELLO?? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THAT???

so what i'm hearing is we want more alpha!gaz and omega!reader yeah?

cw: abo dynamics, omegaverse, i am making everything up as i go along

You're chewing on your pen when he enters your office.

Teeth marks scar the tip of the soft plastic as you gnaw like a dog with a bone. It doesn't taste good, and it's hardly a treat. It's a bad habit, one your mother always told you to break before your teeth did, but it's soothing at this point. Being able to mold something against the shape of you.

LED lights burn into your retinas as you read through the email on your screen. You've tried ten times now to absorb the information, but your brain is too saturated to soak up anything more. You're stuck on the same sentence as you were two minutes ago. Rereading to no avail.

... by Friday morning... file reports directly to... sincerely...

"Constance?"

A voice catches you off guard, and your teeth nearly slice through your writing utensil. Hazy eyes glance over your monitor as you soak in the sight of the man before you. He's handsome; clad in the same battle dress uniforms as every other soldier on base. The green looks good on him. No, better than good. It heavenly contrasts his darker complexion, and you find yourself drawn to his eyes; wide and sweet, like a good dog.

"You don't look like Constance," he chuckles. It's warm, and the baritone of it has your throat growing dry.

"Retired. You're looking at her replacement," you hum.

You breathe deeply as he approaches, hoping for a whiff of something. A gentle redolence; something. You're ashamed of the disappointment that fills you when you catch nothing.

A beta.

"Pity, she was sweet. Though, you're much easier on the eyes," he humors. "I swear her scowl was mean enough to send most drill sergeants running for the hills."

You chuckle at his flattery as you click the tip of your chewed up pen against your desk. It echos hollowly in your empty drawers, the space yet to be filled with scrap paper and stolen library books. You tilt your head as he hands you a short stack of papers. You fight the urge to sink your teeth through his palm. Almost time to go home and he gives you more work to do.

"Suppose you're in charge of this now, yeah?" he says.

Solemnly, you nod. "Garrick?" you confirm as you read the name printed at the top of the report.

"Sergeant Garrick," he corrects with a smirk. "Or Kyle, if you're feeling friendly."

His suave humor is enough to earn him another chuckle as you set his report on top of your keyboard. Tilting your head, you pull at the buttons on your blouse absentmindedly, too on edge to sit still. You fail to notice his nostrils flaring at the movement of your shirt.

"Well, thank you, Kyle. I'll get to work on this," you say, quietly excusing him.

Kyle nods short and curt as he takes a step back. "Thank you, ma'am."

He hardly makes it out of the door before he's clamping his hand over his nose. He almost pinches his nostrils; suffocates himself so that he doesn't have to smell anything at all. Everything spins as if the very earth beneath his feet sways with the desire of the universe. You reek. Nothing but need and exhaustion — you're going into heat soon. He's smelled it on omegas countless times before — the brutal hormone change — but it's always come across as just a fact. Something he can sense. Like a light flickering on. It's not supposed to make him feel like this; too warm to be comfortable in his skin.

Shaking his head, Kyle forces his feet to trudge down the hallway as he fixes his posture and clears his mind. This is his own fault. Just needs to get better about taking his hormone suppressants on time, that's all. He's kept up this facade of being a beta this far, and he's not about to ruin it now. Not over some sweet smelling thing in the main office.

Still, he can't recall if there was a bite mark on your neck or not, and he hates the way his throat grows parched — how his tongue needs to taste your skin.

"Fucking hell," he curses with nothing but the empty hallway to hear him. "Get your damn head on straight."

[pinkchrissysposts]

🐳Stay consistent and persist don't let the 3D fool you🐳

Why some of us "fail" to manifest is because we are slave to the 3d and negative thoughts no seriously. And waiting for external validation is useless because it's giving the answer you want so why keep asking the 3d if you can manifest a car,money again and again,when we already have it in our true reality that is the 4d. We should not get overpowered by this 3d holographic circumstances and this illusionary thoughts which YOU chose to dwell on.

From my own experience law of assumption is a journey where YOU have to satisfy yourSELF not the 3d, everyone is different,everyone have their own personal favourite way to manifest like states,affirming,visualization or whatever you prefer. In my opinion you can start of with affirming,don't directly try to use states(it's not a method) if you are finding it difficult to embody state,just affirm,persist and saturate consistently,NOT to get in 3D but to satisfy your SELF internally.

Be consistent,discipline and persistent these are the KEY to satisfy your SELF, no matter what method you choose,embodying state or affirming,don't let the negative thoughts lead you back to your old self,be strict like an asian parents,and just how they bring you fruit after that yelling at you to study,your desires will also come in your 3d without causing any problem. Be your own parent during your manifestation journey,treat your negative thoughts like those bad influence kids, and when you start looking for movements and wondering how your desires gonna show up treat them like the judgement strangers who question you for everything you do or you have. Don't procrastinate that is when we usually start get doubts just because we aren't doing anything,activate the asian parent in you and scold yourself,and start to affirm and remind yourself who the boss is.

Also DONOT label any of your desires a "big" or "small" desire,they are all same,under you,YOU are on the pedestal not the desire,if you didn't thought about your desire they wouldn't even exist. So why even worry about them. Manifesting seeing a "butterfly" or seeing a "car" with certain "colour" is equivalent to manifest $2000 dollar out of nowhere,dating your celeb sp,having that hourglass body and waking up in your dream life.

When it comes to how you manifest it doesn't matter whether you affirm or embody state or being,SATS,what matter is your consistency because once you continue to persist you'll notice a shift also don't feel bad if you're someone who affirm for hours to saturate your mind but remember it's to remind yourself that you already have your desire in 4D, if you still feel like affirm and persistent will not take you anywhere go see Taylor Tookes insta and twitter post she is a living proof,most manifestation account from where I see success stories are usually affirm and persist girlies and boys like Taylor, Viper and BigDon three of my favourites on Twitter who share they're success story.

Bonus: Do not worry about your self concept,it's good to have one,but as someone who USED to have a good SC yet still couldn't manifest,I guarantee you it's not needed,but you can work on it if you believe it will help you manifest.

My rules are simple💙

☆.BE YOUR OWN DAMN ASIAN PARENT WHEN IT COMES TO MANIFESTING.

☆AFFIRM AND SATURATE TO SATISFY SELF(4D).

☆.YOUR ARE THE ON THE PEDESTAL NOT THE DESIRES.

☆.YOUR THOUGHTS ARE THE BAD INFLUENCE KIDS TRYI G TO GET YOU BACK IN YOUR OLD STATE AND JUDGEMENT STRANGERS MAKING FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING WRONG.

☆.MANIFESTING BUTTERFLY=MANIFESTING CELEB SP IS SAME NOTHING IS BIG OR SMALL EVERY DESIRE IS EQUAL.

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

I know your requests are closed so feel free to ignore this but if I don’t type it somewhere I WILL forget it lol. I’ve been re-binge reading your works and just thought of this…

Civilian reader kills someone out of self defense for the first time. And it’s the whole staring at her bloody shaking hands panic attack what have I done fiasco. And her boyfriend or husband helping her through it and dealing with it all (I can see it with Ghost or Price idk)

But yeah feel free to ignore, I know your requests are closed rn

Love your work! You are so talented!

This has been in my inbox for so long, lmao. Sorry for not answering right away - take a few paragraphs w. soft, worried, Simon in compensation.

Warnings for gore, death, blood, panic attack, etc. F!Reader.

Your body shakes violently, blood dripping down like crimson tears from your hands. The overwhelming sense of dread sits with bullet fragment aggression in the delicate make-up of your psyche.

You weren't meant for this.

Not the blood or the terror. Certainly not the body laying out in the hallway.

"Oh, fuck," you gasp out, shuddering as your throat swells in on itself. Your form had slipped down the wall just across from the door not minutes prior, legs weak and heart pounding like a war call. Now all you can do is stare into the vacant eyes of some random burglar—at the knife you'd stuck in his chest when he'd backed you into Simon's office.

It was a miracle that you remembered where your husband's combat blade had been, seen on some off chance when you'd been cleaning. He tries to keep this all separate, you know.

The blood just keeps slipping out of the corpse. It's a pool now, and you don't know how long you'd been huddled like this until the sounds of rampaging feet and hurried yells of your name bounce off your eardrums.

All you can see is the uncleanable amount of red.

Simon had only gone out to the corner store half an hour ago, getting a quick supper so you both could sit in each other's company. You'd been hesitant to watch him leave so soon after getting home, but he'd sworn he'd only be a few minutes.

None of you had thought too much about the local break-ins. After all, Simon was...well, Simon. And he was home.

S-Simon was home.

There's a loud, barked, curse when the body is discovered, stomping feet that make the entire house shake like it was the epicenter of an earthquake. Your husband's form slashes the front of your vision as he kneels in the blood on the floor. Frantic brown eyes behind his balaclava snap from place to place; taking in the familiar handle and blade in nanoseconds. In his left hand he clutches a pistol, white-knuckled.

But you can't even say anything, because you're as still as stone—breathing in concrete as the gravel shreds your vocal cords and trachea. Reality slips in quick streaks of color as Simon's face flashes into the open doorway.

He sees your wide eyes with a mirroring of his own, bone-deep fear striking in his head with a heated pulse.

"Love!" Simon's rushing to you. Your body can't help but startle back, spine shoving into the wall; fingers still saturated and stained.

Inside your chest, your lungs jerk in a strained whimper.

Your husband freezes, one foot ahead with his widened legs as he fights his mind to rush to you and take you into his arms. Simon puts the gun away with little thought to look for more assailants—all that matters is you.

And you looked terrified.

"Hey," hands reach up to this balaclava, slipping the fabric off as he kneels down slowly to one leg. He tosses it to the floor and you try to focus on the strength of his jaw; those scars and pale hairs as your eyes well with tears. A delicate sob builds. "Hey, now. It's just me, alright?"

Simon speaks softly, hands splayed out and a few feet from you. He wishes to hold you tightly but refrains even as his chest tightens at not being able to calm you. The man can't stand that look on your face.

Your fingers curl into shivering fists, "Simon," you cry, finally able to get a solid word out even if it sounds slurred and ragged.

It's all the permission your husband needs.

Simon jerks forward and takes you up into his large arms; the wide encompassing of his palm on the back of your head and the other circling your waist. He angles you away from the body as he glares into it with hatred and vile curses, hissing venom.

When he found the door busted off its hinges, he'd never felt so panicked. Even now as you release a small wail into his neck Simon's heart races, breath coming in short puffs.

"You're alright, Sweetheart. You're alright. I'm right 'ere." You sag into him, grabbing at his leather jacket with nails digging into the brown material. Simon nuzzles his nose into your scalp, muscles tense, "Breathe, it's over."

All you can focus on is Simon's scent, his words. They're the only thing keeping you from oblivion. Eventually, as your husband rocks you back and forth, you can gasp enough air down to push away the black at the sides of your vision.

"That's right," he whispers, gritting his teeth. "Good girl, keep focusin' on me, yeah? You're doin' perfect." Simon doesn't care about the blood or the screams of sirens in the distance.

For the first time in his life, he doesn't care if someone else happens to see his face.

Your husband pulls his head back and shifts his hold to your cheeks, angling your runny and chilled face upwards. He grits his teeth and his eyes bleed with concern; fear.

"...He do anything?" You can only make out half the words as the sounds all huddle together in a ringing tone, but you shake your head in small flinches. Lips find your forehead—heated and firm. Muttered words. "Did so good, Love, I'm so proud of you. S'not your fuckin' fault, you hear?"

Sniffling, you only whimper once more before lips kiss away your tears; thumbs coming up after to swipe at the remnants. Curling over you, this beast—defined so often as ruthless and deadly—shields you from the image of the man you'd killed in self-defense like a demon of smoke and ash. Holding you as if he can make everything else disappear.

After all, you weren't meant for this. You were meant for your soft skin and your loving eyes. Everything else that Simon tied himself to you for—goodness.

"Simon," you gasp again and shove your face into his chest. For the life of you, you can't say anything else. He knows what you mean.

"I'm here," he repeats. Caressing the back of your head, his hand tenses and softens with leaving adreanaline. "Nothin'll happen to you again. It's all gonna be alright."

You believe him.

[shradsmanifestt]

Ok I wanna manifest something, what should I do?

I'm guessing this post would be helpful for a lot of you. I receive a lot of dms everyday and even more asks and I really can't keep up with it, so I'm hoping this would answer a lot of y'alls questions.

You want something. You know the law of assumption and you want to manifest it into your life. What do you do?

First get clear on exactly what you want. When I say this I mean clear in every way. For eg if you're manifesting an sp and a relationship is what you want then don't try to manifest the lil steps - like getting a dm from him or removing a 3p or anything like that. What do you want? A relationship? Alright then that is what you're gonna manifest. Nope I don't care if you history with him and he doesn't want you anymore. I don' care if he doesn't even know you exist, CAUSE IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER ANYWAYS. A relationship right? So yea let's just focus on that rn.

Since I'm a robotic affirming girly that will be my approach to manifesting this desire. Now if I want a relationship I'd keep my affirmation quite simple ___ and I are in a relationship, He is the best boyfriend ever, he loves me so much he cannot live without me.

If you want him obsessed then stuff like - is so obsessed with me, He needs me , He wants me etc etc. It really doesn't matter what affirmation you use as long as it implies that you already have what you want. So no need for questions like but is this working and all.

Now the thing to note here is - Stop treating manifestation like a process. The minute you decided it is yours , IT IS YOURS. Unless you go back to the old story. Just saturate your mind with affirmations so as to let it sink in the fact that yes it is yours and nothing can change that. Stop treating your 3d as validation for your desires. You don't need to see it in the 3d in the very next minute for you to know it is yours, why? because if you can imagine it/desire it, that is the very proof that it is yours. If it was impossible to manifest you wouldn't be able to imagine it. So sky's really not even the limit at this point. Stop fussing, stop complaining and just put in the work. When you affirm, don't affirm to try to get it or to make it conform in your 3d. NOPE. You aren't affirming out of lack or bullshit. You are affirming to remind yourself that yes it is already done. You are making your mind familiar to the new story that you have chosen for yourself. And that is literally all that you need to do. It is as simple as that. Don't overthink it, Don't complicate it. You have what it takes, just affirm and persist. No matter what.

What if things take a turn for the worse while you're affirming? IT STILL DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. You persist anyways. You persist till it conforms. You don't check the 3d to see if it has come , you just know it is done. When it conforms you'll know obviously without checking right??

Yep this right here is all what you need to know. Also I won't be replying to any dms on here. If your asks aren't being answered then it would be because I don't feel comfortable sharing those/your views are very different from mine/I don't know much about those topics and I only preach about what I know.

Hope that helps!

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part four

authors note: the love and response to this story continues to absolutely floor me. you guys are all so sweet! i was nervous about posting, but everyone has made me feel so happy that i did, so thank you!

couple of hints about things sprinkled through this one. the more i write, the more things are getting fleshed out, so idk how many parts this will be atp, nothing too crazy though!!!

also, some tags don't seem to work for some reason, like when i type it, the hyperlink doesn't appear so super sorry to those impacted by that!!!

warnings: angst, fluff, language, suggestive content

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

word count: 5.8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wonderingfashion @shayaaaaaaa @usoholic @brokenglassslippers @gators-aid @dersha89 @southerngirl41 @empressdede

You couldn't eat. 

Couldn't sleep.

Could barely think straight.

All that consumed you, ate at you, gnawed at your sanity was one thought and one thought alone.

He wanted to take her from you. 

Joe wanted to take your daughter from you, your four year old daughter who still couldn't even go to sleep at night unless she got to see or speak to you.

The daughter who he'd only known existed just recently but was seemingly set on ripping away from you.

That thought destroyed you, made you raw from blistering agony at just the idea of not having Callie with you full time. It destroyed you to the point that you decided to throw some clothes on, hop in your car, and set your google maps for the hotel you knew he’d be staying at. Damn the fact that it was the middle of the night or that you were stupid as hell for being in that situation in the first place. None of that mattered. 

You needed to talk to him, and you needed to talk to him now. 

Joe opens the door with a forceful swing, looking as irritated and disheveled as you’d expect one to look at nearly 1am in the morning. However, when his eyes land on you, confusion meshes with irritation. “Y/N?”

“Hi.” It’s said in a breathy tone. You're struggling to remember the script you rehearsed the whole drive there. “I’m sorry. I know it’s late—”

“What the..….” He sighs heavily and steps aside, motioning for you to come in. “Get in here.”

You don’t need to be told twice, looking around the hotel room that looks so plain and undeserving of someone with Joe’s stature. But, you also know this area isn’t exactly saturated with 5 star hotels, far from it. This is probably the most elite one he could find with such short notice, and it’s not bad at all, just….basic.

He clears his throat, and you return your attention to the man who you just realized is also shirtless. If not for the pending mental breakdown you’re fighting to keep at bay, it would be extremely distracting. Joe is a lot of things, and fine as hell is at the top of that list.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” He sounds exhausted, and you can’t tell if it’s from the argument earlier that day or being woken up in the middle of the night. Probably both. 

“I just—I need to talk to you.”

“Now?” 

Nodding, you continue. “I know….I know I messed up, okay? I should have told you, but I just—I need you to look at it from my perspective. I need you to just hear me out, and if—if you still feel the same way, then–then I’ll have to deal with that….but please.” 

He’s leaning back against the dresser, arms crossed, taking time to answer as he weighs your offer. Finally, he concedes, “you came all the way over here. I’m not just gonna send you away.”

You’re thankful for him being willing to at least hear some of what you have to say. “Callie.....she was conceived the last time we were together.” Not sure if that part was necessary or the best way to start out, you quickly move on to the next point. “I didn’t find out I was pregnant until two months later. And on top of not knowing what the fuck to feel, I barely knew what to do. I was pregnant by a married man that I’d been sleeping with for three years. A married, famous man at that. Who I finally decided I needed to move on from.” 

Revisiting this is harder than you expected, harder than when you rehearsed it on your drive here. “I was scared, Joe, okay? I was scared, so I—I did what I thought was best at that time, and clearly it was wrong. I 100% own up to that, and you get to be angry with me, but you don’t get to let that anger influence your decision making, because it is.” 

This is the part you debated so deeply on whether to say or not say, to potentially poke the already irate bear. But, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t speak up for yourself and your daughter. “You want a legal custody arrangement, and I understand why, but—Joe, your name isn’t even on her birth certificate, but to tell you the truth…..I wanted it to be. I did.” Whether he believes you or not is on him, but it’s true. Because while he wasn't present in her life, he was still her father. Nothing would change that. “They wouldn’t do it without you present and without a paternity test—”

“I could have been there,” he interrupts, sounding more hurt than anything. “I should have been there.” 

“You’re right, but you weren’t, and I’m sorry for that too. I’m not trying to make any excuses here, just lay out facts. And the fact is that you can get a paternity test, you can establish paternity, and you can try to secure joint custody, but we both know there’s no way you can take her on. You work nonstop, Joe, and she can’t be on the road like that. She’s four for fucks sake. Calista needs stability, and she has that with me. You know I’m right.”

And you can see that he sees you’re right, the wheels turning in his head as he takes in your sound predictions.

“And I know you don’t right now, and that’s okay, but I am asking you to please trust me enough to know that I will not get in the way of you getting to know Calista. Trust that I only want what’s best for her, I’ve only ever wanted what was best for her.”

“Why should I?” Despite his words, you can see and hear the crumbling of his defenses, of the brick and mortar wall he'd erected earlier during the first round of this conversation. “What’s different now?”

“Because she asked about you.” This is the part that crushes you the most, that makes you wonder if you’ll ever be able to forgive yourself for even putting her in that situation. “Because she thinks you’re not in her life because she’s not a good girl, and I will not have my child grow up thinking she wasn’t good enough for her father to want to be in her life.”

You won’t let her grow up like you.

Period.

Having this discussion, saying these things aloud, you’re slowly starting to recognize how some of your own unaddressed issues have contributed to this situation. How your refusal to confront buried trauma has bled into another generation. It’s…..uncomfortable, to say the least.

And something you definitely need to revisit, probably sooner rather than later. Just…not right now. 

You’ve got to sort this through first.

It’s after a few minutes of silence that he finally speaks, voice surprisingly calm. “You’re right.” You let out a deep breath, nearly falling back at his words. You knew he was wavering but not to the point where he would yield. “I know….I know our situation is complicated, and I’m sorry for being so cold with you. I just—fuck, I don’t know how to process all of this.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Neither do I, but we can figure it out, because we can’t…..we can’t put her through a custody battle. I won’t do that.” Despite your very valid facts, you also recognize that while he probably wouldn’t win, he has access to the best legal team money can buy and would outlast you in court by miles. 

You won’t say it aloud, not even sure if you can, but you’d soon rather concede than put her through that. You’d give him whatever he asked for if it meant sparing her from that trauma. 

It’s a far cry from your stance hours earlier, but time and actually thinking things through made you realize the pain you’d experience at having Callie taken from you would be nothing compared to what that experience would do to her. You know custody disputes can be long and nasty, and though she was still young, you didn’t want to find out if they would question her. 

You’d sacrifice your soul and surrender. 

You loved her enough to let her go.

“You’re right.” He repeats himself, even and calm. It’s such a stark difference for both of you compared to the blowup from earlier. There’s actual communication occurring, talking with each other, instead of at each other. Listening to hear, not to react. “I—I couldn’t do that to you. I spoke out of anger. My schedule is crazy and she needs stability. You give her that.”

There’s an insurmountable amount of relief that washes over you at his words. It’s night and day from the angry—though rightfully—man that stood before you earlier today. And you couldn’t be more grateful. 

“Thank you.” There aren’t enough words to adequately express the depth of your gratitude. Joe is well within his right to be upset, and like you said, you’ll take whatever that is, so long as the both of you can agree that Callie being with you is for the best. For her, but for you too. You won’t deny that. Your daughter is your life, and the thought of being without her, even for a period of time makes you sick to your stomach. “I–” You wipe your eyes, completely unaware that you’d been crying at one point, the tears starting to dry up. “I’m taking off work tomorrow and keeping her home. You…you can come over once I pick her up from Mariah's."

His eyes light up with appreciation that matches your own for his willingness to look past his feelings to do what’s best for your child. “Yeah?”

You offer a small smile. “I’ll probably get her around 10 and text you when you can head over.”

He nods, and the excitement in his expression warms you. It’s so strange how you can go through so many emotions in such a short time regarding the man in front of you. He always has been able to evoke things out of you that no one else could.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

The way he takes you in, assessing you, it makes you shift your weight from one foot to another. Your hoodie suddenly feels too heavy, warmth climbing up to your cheeks. “I—” You gesture to the door with your thumb. “I should head out.” 

It’s when you turn to leave that he grabs your wrist to stop you. 

“Where are you going?”

Your brow lifts at his tone and words, confused by the quick change and his hand on your arm. “Umm, home?” 

“Like hell you are.” His dismissal is firm and final as he informs, “you'll crash here tonight.” Your face must be painted in defiance, because he explains, “it's almost 2 in the morning, and you look exhausted. I'm not letting you get on the road. Anything could happen.”

“Joe—”

He lifts his hand, silencing you as he points to the middle of the room. “You can take the bed. It's uncomfortable anyway.”

Ironically, a small yawn escapes, further proving his point. You are exhausted, in several different ways. The idea of driving back home right now is not nearly as appealing as sleeping off the day's events. “Okay.” Remembering his comment, you add, “you could have picked one of those fancy hotels ya'll stay in, you know.”

“I don't think there's anything ‘fancy’ within 30 miles of here.” He's not entirely wrong, the town's local steakhouse is considered the definition of fine dining and hotspot for special occasions. 

“There were once rumors of a Hilton being built.”

He looks almost hopeful. “When was that?”

You bite down on your lip. “When I was in middle school.” A small laugh escapes at his look of exasperation. 

“You should take the bed. It's gotta be more comfortable than the alternative.” Truly, because the idea of Joe's big ass trying to sleep on a damn fold out sofa is both hilarious and tragic. “I just need a shirt.”

He looks at you. “A shirt?”

“Yeah.”

“Because…..”

Rolling your eyes, you tug at your old college hoodie. “I can't sleep in this. It's uncomfortable as hell. I dress light at night. You know—” And you stop yourself, because he shouldn’t remember that you always sleep in either a big shirt or thin top and shorts, never more, oftentimes nothing at all when he was in town.

For obvious reasons.

You’re grateful when he turns away and digs through his bag, probably the only one he took with him. He always traveled lightly. He comes back, reaching you one of his black t-shirts. 

“Thanks.” Accepting the item, you walk over to the bathroom, closing the door behind you. Standing in the mirror, you take in your appearance. Joe was being nice by saying you look exhausted, cause you look like shit, every bit of the days events, loud and blaring. Blowing out a breath, you start removing your clothes but pause when you go to remove your bra.

Is that….is that too much? You haven’t slept in a bra in years. Not since puberty randomly hit you over the summer between freshman and sophomore year, where you went from a modest A cup to a whopping D. And post Callie body definitely wasn’t a D anymore. It just seems….it seems indecorous. 

Deciding to go with safe instead of sorry, you swallow your discomfort and keep your bra on. With the hair tie on your wrist, you do your best to pineapple your hair, knowing good and well it’ll be frizzfest when you wake up but not really caring. 

Another yawn leaves your mouth as you walk out the bathroom only to turn into a scowl as you find Joe sitting on the sofa on his phone.

If it wasn’t so late and you weren’t so tired, you’d argue with him why it’s stupid of you to take the bed. He’s at least a foot taller than you. But, you don’t have it in you so just mutter “stubborn asshole,” place your folded clothes on the dresser, and climb into the bed. 

You double check your alarm is still set for the right time and lean across the bed to place it on the nightstand. There’s a comfortable silence between the two of you for a couple of minutes, your eyes closing as you try to sleep, even if for a couple of hours before you have to get back on the road. 

“What is she like?”

Your eyes open at his question, unexpected but understood. You think about it, wondering how to answer, how to explain all of the wonderful things that is your child. Finally, you settle on an answer, soft and honest. 

“You'll find out for yourself tomorrow.” And turning on your side, you murmur, “goodnight, Joe.”

He doesn’t say anything after that.

But while you sleep with the hope of believing that this can be worked out between the two of you, Joe lies awake, taking his turn with mind running a mile a minute.

He knew this would be difficult, knew it was going to get ugly to some extent, but what he didn’t expect was how impacted he'd be by seeing you again.

There was a stark difference between seeing you in photos and seeing you in person. His anger at the situation helped him to not react as strongly, but not as much as he liked or needed it to.

Because regardless of all his outrage, he’d missed you.

Even with your deception, with your deceit and all of his confusing emotions toward you in this whole situation, he missed you. 

Joe might not be ready to admit it aloud, but he’s never gotten over you. And not for lack of trying. He’d had a period where he tried to fuck away his feelings, tried to busy himself in between the legs of other women, his favorite distraction when he was in his twenties. Tried to remind himself that it was never meant to turn into anything anyway, that it wasn’t a big deal. But his efforts were fruitless and a waste of time.

He cared about you, he cared about you, arguably, more than he’d ever cared about a woman. Even….even Jadah.

The night you ended things was still a sore spot for him, still something he plays over in his head trying to make sense of. On the surface level, it’s pretty plain and simple. You wanted more, he couldn’t give it to you, so you moved on. 1+1. He was legally married for fucks sake. He couldn’t blame you for wanting more, but there was also a part of him that wondered why you didn’t just ask him for more.

Then again, that went both ways. Why didn’t he ask you for more?

It’s easy to say it was because of Jadah, because of his marriage, and that was both true and untrue. On his part, anyway. Divorce was easy in name but far from it in every other area. And for him, meant being forced to confront demons he tried his best to keep at bay. Up until two months ago, at least

Joe closes his eyes. This is all too much. 

He came here ready to confront you, and he had, in fucked up way, even if partially deserved. He came here to meet his daughter, to begin to form a bond with her, and he will do that. He just has to push the complicated feelings for you to the side and place them on the backburner until he can sort through that mess.

Calista is his priority right now. Whatever this is between you and him can be figured out later.

Hopefully. 

________

“She can be shy until she gets to know you.”

The day seems to have escaped you, getting on the road early in the morning to drive back and prepare to pick up Callie. She’s thrilled to see you, and vice versa. The two of you spend the beginning of the morning together, stopping at a local diner to share a breakfast before heading back to your apartment. You spend a little more time together, one on one, before texting Joe to head over, staying true to your word. 

Especially since he informed you that he had to fly out tomorrow morning. You expected as such, knowing he’d probably already been gone longer than higher ups liked. He could only push the limits so much. 

You don’t even have to be looking at him to know he’s nervous, an understandable but strange thing. Weird almost. Joe’s a lot of things, but nervous has never been one of them. “But once she gets comfortable, she won’t shut up.” That makes him smile, and you’re grateful for that.  Sure enough, you find Callie in her playroom, which used to be your office space, but the more spoiled she became from your mom, the more you realized her room was too small for all of her stuff. “Hey, Callie Bear.”

Callie looks up, smile bright as she runs over to you. You lean down to meet her hug. She gives the best, loving hugs. “I’m making you something, mommy.”

You gasp. “You are? Well, I can’t wait to see it.”

“It’s a surprise, so no peeking!” She lifts her little finger, wagging it in your face. Laughing, you nod and push back some of her curls. Callie’s eyes then land on Joe’s massive frame standing near the doorway, silently observing. You can see the emotions so clearly on his face: surprise, shock, happiness.

Callie’s smile dims as she moves closer to you, holding you close, her stranger danger kicking in. A small part of you is grateful that even at almost five, she knows to be cautious. Then there’s the other part of you that’s saddened at the fact that the “stranger” she’s cautious of is her own father. “Baby, this is….this is….”

“I’m Joe,” he finishes for you, and you’re both grateful and annoyed. Conflicted because a small part of you wanted to be the one to tell her, but also grateful he ironically took that responsibility off of you. “I’m an old friend of your mom’s.”

Welp.

That’s not….that’s not what you expected him to say, not what you two discussed. It wasn’t explicitly stated, but you were under the impression that they would tell her the truth. His statement isn’t exactly a lie, you did once consider Joe to be a friend, much more than that, but still. Joe’s role in Callie’s life is significantly more than that. 

This seems to ebb away some of Callie’s caution as she asks, “really?” Her eyes fall on you, almost looking for approval. With a tight smile, you nod, giving her the relief she needs to loosen her hold on you. “Do you like Disney?” That causes you to genuinely laugh, something your sweet child definitely inherited from both you and your mom was a love of Disney. 

“I do,” he answers, and you pause. Does he really? Perhaps. Regardless, it’s a smart answer for your Disney loving child. “Do you?”

Callie nods happily, grabbing your arm and twisting it to show the ‘remember who you are’ tattoo on your wrist. “Mommy and grandma have Disney tattoos, and mommy’s gonna get a Moana one for me!”

“Really?” Joe, now crouched down to be at her eye level, sounds genuinely interested, and maybe he is. Callie is impressively charismatic at only four. She’s also his daughter who he’s wanting to develop a relationship with, so it’s not far-fetched that she could be talking to him about the rate at which grass grows, and he would entertain it like he was watching a 49ers game. “You like Moana?”

Is water wet? “She’s the bestest! Right, mommy?” 

You chuckle, fixing her shirt. “She watches it almost every day.” You always found it interesting, ironic even, that your daughter instantly gravitated to Moana, unaware that the voice of freaking Maui is her cousin, that she too had pacific islander ancestry. Through her dad. The dad you kept from her. 

“You know I don’t know if I’ve seen that one—”

Callie’s mouth drops open as she looks at you, “mommy, can we watch it? Please? Please? Pleeeeaaassseeee?”

“Okay, okay, okay,” you relent after pretending to think about it. You like to limit her screentime to two hours, and even though she already watched The Princess and the Frog earlier for the 97th time this month, there was no way you were not gonna allow this bonding opportunity. 

Squealing, Callie surprises you by breaking away and moving over to Joe, reaching for his hand. “Let’s go, Joe!” She pulls on the sleeve of his hoodie, probably to lead him into the living room where Disney Plus is signed in. 

Alone in her playroom, you run over what just happened. You thought you would tell her the truth, tell her that this is the father she was asking about, the one she thought didn’t want her when in actuality, he wanted to know everything there was to know about her.

And for a second, you get pissed off. Why wasn’t Joe honest with her? Isn’t this what he wanted? To be in her life. It’s confusing. He is confusing. But….you try to give him the benefit of the doubt, certain that he must have some reason behind his actions. You just hope they’re damn good reasons.

“Mommy!” You know that tone of hers, the tone that tells you a request is to follow. 

You shout back, “yes?”

“Joe likes popcorn too! Can we have some?”

You laugh and shake your head, shouting out an ‘okay’. Walking out of the room and into the living room, you find Callie near the TV, arm outstretched as she explains every detail of Moana, even the most obvious ones. But, Joe is sitting on the sofa, watching and listening intently. His smile is stapled. 

He looks…..he looks so happy.

Moving into the kitchen, you move around quietly to not interrupt and to get their popcorn made.

Waiting for the popcorn to finish, you hear Callie ‘whisper’ to Joe, “Mommy can’t cook, but she makes good snacks.”

Amid his laughter, you walk near the living room, hands on her hips. “I heard that, little ms. ma’am.”

“That’s what Grandma says,” Callie defends with a shrug of her little shoulders. “She says mommy is pretty and smart and funny, but she burns water.” She looks off, confused, as if it’s finally registering to her that that doesn’t make sense. “Mommy, how do you burn water?”

Joe is on the sofa, hand over his mouth, fighting for his life. You also can’t help but laugh at the absolutely serious look on her face. “Finish your movie.” 

The microwave dings, so you grab two bowls and fill them up equally. Delivering them to both, you place hers on the coffee table as she’s back to narrating. “Popcorn, as requested.”

“Thank you.” Her eyes go wide with excitement as she suddenly asks, “will you watch it with us?”

Damn. You had a feeling she would ask but was hoping she wouldn’t. Disappointing her twice in one weekend felt criminal. “Callie, I'm super behind with work.”

“Pleeeeasssseeee.” She starts with the begging again and then looks at Joe to inform him, “mommy’s a teacher. Do you have a job?”

Joe chuckles. “I do.”

“What do you do?” She asks in a sing-song tone. You give him that ‘I told you she never shuts up’ look. 

“I’m a professional wrestler.”

She’s clearly intrigued, asking, “are you actually good?”

“Callie!” This little girl and her lack of filter sometimes never ceases to amaze you. Your mom swears up and down it’s your payback from how blunt you were as a child. 

You’re starting to believe it.

Joe gives a shrug, clearly loving every bit of this. You can tell he wants her to keep the questions coming. He’ll answer em’ all if it means getting to spend time with her. “I’m alright.”

At that, you give him a look and crouch down to her level. “He’s very good.” You take the remote and quickly pause the TV, adding on, “matter of fact, he’s the universal undisputed champion.” Joe gives you a look, and you can tell he’s surprised by you knowing this piece of information.

You don’t watch wrestling as much as you used to, partially due to what happened between the two of you, mostly because you don’t have the time, but even non-wrestling people know about Roman Reigns and his current, historic title reign. You’re not sure if you’d feel entirely comfortable saying it to him, but you’re massively proud of Joe and all he’s accomplished. You always knew he could do it.

Her eyes widen with excitement and curiosity as she looks at Joe for clarification. “Really?”

“That is true.” 

Head tilted, she moves away from you and climbs on the sofa to sit next to him. Her little legs crossed over as she continues with the questions. “What does undis—undis—”

He helps her out, also angling his body more toward her. “Undisputed?” 

“Yeah! What does that mean?”

You can see he’s taking a minute to decide how to answer. “It means I don’t lose. Ever.”

“Whoooaaaa,” she breathes, obviously impressed. “You must eat a lot of veggies. I don’t like them, but mommy says they make you big and strong.”

“Your mom is right,” he agrees and looks her over. “You’re a very smart little girl. How old are you again? Like 15?”

“No, I’m four!” She giggles and lifts up four fingers. “But, I’ll be five on May 19th!”

His gaze softens. “Your birthday is in May?” She nods, happily. His smile is warm, emotional. “So is mine.”

You still for a moment. You hadn’t even thought about that, that her birthday was just days away from his. There’s something strangely sweet and moving about this fact, both to you and definitely to him.

“Really?” 

And that’s how it plays out for the rest of the day, a combination of Callie’s incessant questions, intermittent viewing of Moana and parts of Encanto. Lunch and dinner sprinkled somewhere in between. You’re even able to sneak off to do your lesson planning, Callie more than fine with just Joe to entertain her.

It warms your heart to see them connect almost instantaneously.

It’s why you wait as long as you can to interrupt, never wanting to do so, to invade their moment. But, you also know your daughter, know that she needs a certain amount of sleep to function the next day. And when you check in on them and catch her yawning, you know it’s unfortunately that time.

Sighing, you enter the living room with your arms crossed. “Callie Bear, it’s time to start getting ready for bed, mamas.”

“Nooo.” She whines. “I’m not tired.” Her groggy voice and scowl would indicate otherwise. 

“Of course, you’re not.” You bend down in front of her and reach for her hand. “Come on, we gotta tell Joe bye. He’s gotta get back to his hotel.” Despite her obvious objections, she climbs off the sofa and accepts your hand but not before looking at him. 

“Will you come over again tomorrow?” She asks with hopeful eyes and a voice of excitement, both things that make being honest with her that much harder.

He obviously doesn’t want to give her the truth, but it’s better than the alternative. With a frown, he answers, “I wish….but I’ve gotta get back to work tomorrow, Callie.”

Her smile drops, and sadness arises. “Why? Do you have to go?” Her quiet voice is comprised of disappointment and despondency. You can tell it hurts him. Her hope is dashed, replaced with sadness. “When will you come back?”

“As soon as he can.” You jump in to assist, hating the way he looks so devastated not having a specific date for her. Truth be told, you wouldn’t be surprised if he won’t be able to get away for another few weeks, if not more. “And you know what, you can use my iPad to Facetime him when he’s available anytime you want.”

Her eyes light up. “Really?” 

“Of course,” he assures. He reaches to push some hair out of her face. “I’ll call you whenever I can.”

She gives him a small smile. “You promise?” 

Joe swallows. “I promise, sweetheart.” 

Pleased and obviously ecstatic at this information, she surprises the both of you by tearing her hand from you to throw her little arms around him for an unexpected hug. You’re not sure why, but the sight makes your eyes water. His eyes close as he gently wraps his arms around her as well. You look away, almost uncomfortable interrupting this moment between the two of them.

When she pulls away, you swear you see disappointment reappear in his eyes. “Bye, Joe.” 

She returns to your side, and you gently direct her, “go put on your jammies and pick out a book. I’ll be right there in a few minutes, okay?” 

“Okay, mommy.” Without protest, she turns and heads back to her room. When it’s just the two of you, you turn to him, “she really likes you.” It feels silly saying such a thing. He’s her father. She should like him. She should love him.

But you also know better than anyone that being someone’s biological parent doesn’t automatically make them a parent. 

“That’s why you didn’t tell her, isn’t it? You want to gain her friendship first.” In watching and participating in the interaction between them, it dawned on you just why he didn’t tell her right away. Joe wanted to first establish a baseline with Callie, wanted her to get to know him just for him, to bond with him not because he was her dad, but because she wanted to. 

And clearly….clearly it worked. 

“She’s amazing,” he whispers. You see he’s still caught up in the emotion of it all, meeting his daughter for the first time, connecting with her as quickly and easily as he has.

“She is,” you agree, suddenly remembering why you’d dismissed Callie. “I–I uhh, I have something for you.” Standing back up—your knees were gonna hate you tomorrow—you pull the thumbdrive out of the back pocket of your jeans. He also stands with you. “I was that new mom who was intent on documenting every single thing my kid did, and I’m kinda glad I did now.” You reach and drop it in his open palm. “I got everything on video. Her first word, first time crawling, first time walking….all of it.” Suddenly uncomfortable with his silence, you add on, “I know it’s not the same as being there, but—”

“Thank you.” he interrupts in a quiet voice, immensely grateful to you at this moment. “Thank you, Y/N.” 

Emotion seems to be the keyword of the day, because yours are also all over the place, for a variety of reasons. It’s an experience that’s both overwhelming and confusing, but also….nice? You can’t necessarily describe it, but there’s something comforting about Joe having a role in Callie’s life.

But that doesn’t equate with your decision to not tell him about her in the first place, hence why you’re a hot ass, confused mess.

He’s making you feel things again, and you don’t like it. 

“I know getting back here won’t be easy, especially with the holidays rolling around. But, whenever you can come, you’re welcome. I mean it.” Thanksgiving is less than 3 weeks away. You’re highly doubtful he’ll be touching down before then. “Christmas is her favorite holiday. I know she’d love to have you here for that.”

“I’ll be back before Christmas and for Christmas.” You don’t know how, but you do know he’s convinced of it, and you don’t put it past him. He seems entirely determined. 

“Okay.” You walk him to the door, unsure why your bodies being so close to each other is an uncomfortable yet pleasing feeling. “Oh,” you suddenly remember something. “You need to make a Snapchat account.”

He scowls almost instantly. “A what?” A small laugh escapes you at his instant disgust. “I’m too old for that shit.”

“We both are, but it’s an easy way for me to share Callie and all her randomness with people. Make it and send me the username. I’ll add you.” It seems all it takes is for you to mention Callie, and he’s sold. He nods in agreement, all distaste washed away with the eagerness of receiving photos and videos of Callie on the regular. You keep your hand on the door, chewing on your lip, murmuring, “Goodnight, Joe.” 

He gives you a look, something unspoken in his eyes. “Goodnight, Y/N.” 

Closing the door behind you, you lock it and take a deep breath, unsure why your stomach is in knots. Not from anxiety or fear but happiness. 

You’re happy to have Joe back in your life, even with all of the bullshit that’s transpired in this single day. There’s something relieving about having him around, and you know it’s for Callie. It needs to be just for Callie, because what you can never do again is allow yourself to fall back into that situation. 

No matter how badly your heart and your head are clashing right now.

No matter how much you're starting to wonder if your heart ever really left that situation.

[moronkombat]

Can you write MK men doing a fatality on someone in front of their s/o and they get a little scared at the sight. (Not scared of the men btw) I think realistically seeing someone die like that wouldn’t be easy to witness at first

Reiko is proud to kill someone in kombat in front of his lover. He would also like if his partner joined him in delivering the final blow

If his partner were to become frightened, he would be confused. Reiko would have a hard time understanding someone who is not fond of the thrill of the kill

Kenshi has been saturated with the sight of death and he forgets that. When he kills in front of his partner, he doesn't even think about what he's done

When his lover is just staring at the corpse of someone who was breathing moments ago he finds himself feeling quite guilty. He'd ask if you're alright and tell you that he shouldn't have made you see something like that so casually

He kills someone in front of his lover out of necessity. He would prefer to avoid doing so otherwise as he often kills foes while in his true form

Tells you to look away, not to watch what's going to happen. He's honestly more worried you'll be scared of his appearance over anything else. Once the deed is done, he is unsure how to comfort the reader. He worries hugging you, while covered in the blood of someone else, will only haunt you

Havik is not one to comfort his partner when it concerns the death of another by his hand. If he notices his lover is shaken up he will get them used to it

He'll cover his hands in the blood of the fallen and drench his partner in it, bathing them in death while wildly proclaiming just how beautiful it all is

Rain is initially very proud of showing off his prowess in front of his lover. However, he would quickly notice that his lover looks a bit stunned

He's quiet for a moment before telling them that the sight of this will get easier even though right now it feels like it wont. He'll squeeze your hand in reassurance and offer you a nod

Shang Tsung isn't a fan of hard work and killing someone can be quite the daunting task so he makes sure to kill them in...exciting ways

He thinks you would enjoy the view but seeing you so stunned makes him realize just how far his mind has gone to think killing is so casual. He pauses and knows he should address the issue. But he can't, he won't. Shang Tsung, instead, ushers you away quickly

Quan Chi likes to get a bit fanciful in how he kills someone and doesn't really see killing anyone as anything heavy. He's seen many people die before

If his partner were to be unsettled he would struggle in how to comfort them. No one had comforted him when he witnessed someone being killed. He'd...try but it comes off as awkward and stiff

Tomas has killed many people before. It's part of being the Lin Kuei. He's grown accustomed to such tasks but recognizes that his partner has not

He is comforting to his lover. Doesn't want them to see him commit the act but he knows it can't be helped. Tomas would tell them that it's okay to be scared and to feel frightened. He knows what it's like to witness the death of others before his eyes

Raiden is still not completely accustomed to killing someone. It's a relatively new concept for him so he is empathic with his partner

He is very tender with them, gentle and kind. He knows they probably need space and time to process what they've seen so he will not pressure them to talk about until they are ready

Kung Lao gets a bit absorbed in the moment and almost forgets that his partner is there until he looks back at them and sees their face

He rushes to them and asks if they are okay without even realizing that he's bloodstained. He repeatedly asks if you're doing alright and that you don't need to worry anymore because it's all over now. Very talkative as trying to reassure you

Never would he want his lover to see the gore that is to take a life. Bi-Han would actively try to avoid exposing his partner to anything like that but he cannot

The only time he'd kill in front of his lover was if he absolutely had to and he is not very tidy about it. He's rageful and consumed by wrath as he murders them and you are only left to watch life cease to be. He feels incredibly guilty afterwards but struggles to find words. In actually, you would end up comforting him because he feels so lowly about exposing you to something like that

Johnny is a showoff and is always doing the absolute most with everything. This includes taking someone out

He thinks he is impressing you and turns to you expecting a big reaction and cheering but he doesn't you just look...zoned out. He asks you what's wrong and didn't you see how high the dude's head went up in air? It takes him a bit to realize that witnessing someone die can be heavy and then he will awkwardly start to comfort you and apologize

Shao is not a comforting lover. To kill someone is show that he is better than them in every way. He enjoys taking down his opponents

If his partner was stunned to see someone die he would tell them that they will quickly get used to see the death of thousands because he will no one standing who gets in his way

Would prefer his partner not having to witness someone die as he knows it can be extremely difficult for someone to witness. Geras is unbothered by the death of others but he is mindful of his partner

He would try to shield your eyes from it. If you saw it he would apologize to you and validate all of the feelings you are experiencing while also promising to help you through them

Liu Kang has been accustomed to killing for many years now and yet he still knows that it will have an impact on you. You are not like him. You haven't been alive for thousand upon thousands of years to adjust to this life style

Killing in front of you is not easy for him but he knows it's much worse for you having to witness it the first time. He is kind and gentle with you and tells you that it is alright and to let him take your worries away

The last thing Kuai Liang wants is to bring his lover discomfort but he knows that is unrealistic to shield you from everything

That is why when he kills someone in front of you, he is quick to be by your side but also give you the space you need. Kuai Liang says that it is okay to not be okay in this moment or even for awhile after that. He speaks on how he will be your strength just as you are to him

Baraka's kills are often brutal and messy even when he doesn't intend them to be but Tarkat cannot be helped

He wants to comfort you, take you into his arms and tell you he is sorry but he can't. Not when he is covered in blood and still feeling the itch from taking a life. It's a difficult thing for him to do but he tries to comfort you as best he can but Baraka struggles with saying the right words that will help

[gwenpendragns]

i was asked by @matthew-macfadyens for a colouring tutorial, so here we go ! i've been making gifs for almost 4 years now and finally feel comfortable and confident in my skills to make a full tutorial on my colouring process. there are so many different ways people colour gifs, and there's no wrong way, this is just how i do it ! i learned to gif by reading so many tutorials and picking and choosing what works for me, so hopefully this can help someone out !

if this tutorial helps you, please considering supporting me ! buy me coffee ♡

TUTORIAL UNDER THE CUT

what you'll need: - photoshop ( i use ps cc 2023 & frame timeline ) - basic ps knowledge ( how to make gifs, how to sharpen gifs, general understanding of adjustment layers, layer masks and blending modes ) - a whole lot of patience

helpful resources:

the beginner's guide to channel mixer by @aubrey-plaza

giffing 101 by @cillianmurphy

gif making for beginners by @hayaosmiyazaki

colouring yellow-tinted shots by @ajusnice

becca's mega colouring tutorial by @nataliescatorccio

@usergif

PART ONE: BASE COLOURING

- step 1: curves - step 2: exposure - step 3: colour balance - step 4: selective colour - step 5: levels - step 6: brightness / contrast - step 7: gradient map

okay so, before we get started, this tutorial is for colouring only. at this point, i've already gotten my screencaps, imported them into photoshop, made the actual gif & sharpened the gif. the above image includes what my typical adjustment layer stack looks like !

STEP ONE: CURVES

a lot of people do the majority of their heavy lifting in curves...i'm not one of those people. i've never gotten the hang of curves and haven't been able to fully taken advantage of everything it can offer. i use curves to mainly brighten up my gif and to start my process.

i use the "auto" button in the curves function - this automatically corrects the curves for your gif ( mainly the brightness / contrast )

you can see that the auto curves has brightened up the gif and evened out the brightness/contrast. i just find this gives a better starting point for the colouring process.

STEP TWO: EXPOSURE

this step is for, you guessed it, brightening the gif more and evening out the contrast and blacks. i don't have any real rules for doing this, the amount i highten the exposure and contrast is different based on the scene and the show, however, i tend to stay around +1 on both exposure and gamma correction.

exposure effects the brightness of the gif and gamma correction effects the blacks and contrast. this step also effects the saturation of the gif, so it's important not to go too crazy. i often end up coming back to this step every now and again to adjust and fiddle with it.

for this gif, i put the exposure at +1.18 and the gamma correction at 0.85

you can see this step serves to add some more brightness and contrast - it also adds some more saturation, that we don't always want, but don't worry, that's what the next steps are for !

STEP THREE: COLOUR BALANCE

i use this step to do a lot of my heavy lifting - i'm a whore for colour balance. this serves to even out the colours and help neutralize the colours for an easier canvas. it's important to understand the basics of colour theory for this, i recommend checking out the channel mixer tutorial i listed above, because a lot of those steps applies to colour balance.

essentially, there's three separate profiles to edit on - highlights, midtones and shadows. in each profile, you have 3 colour sliders. the top one is your cyan to red, middle is magenta to green, and bottom is yellow to blue. the colouring of the scene will decide where to move your sliders.

for example: if your original scene has a cyan tint to it, you'll want to pull your slider to the right, towards the red to help neutralize the cyan. if your scene has a green tint, you'll want to pull it left towards the magenta. as you move the sliders, you'll notice that sometimes it brings out other colours you don't necessarily need, you can adjust the other sliders to help neutralize further.

i always do my main correction in the midtones profile.

since this scene has a heavy yellow tint, my first step was to adjust the bottom slider. i pulled the slider to the right towards blue at +22. you can see this helped get rid of a lot of the yellow, but adding in the blue warmed up the reds and made it more saturated.

to help with this, i pulled the top slider left towards cyan to help neutralize that red.

i pulled the top slider to -28 and you can see this cut out that heavy saturation and redness. it's looking a lot better, but now it's a little too green for my liking. this is where that middle slider comes in!

i pulled the middle slider to -6 towards the magenta to help counteract the green that came in. ( i ended up going back in and adjusting the bottom slider to +10 instead, as it was a little to blue )

you can see this step really did the heavy lifting, helping to neutralize the canvas so that it's easier to work with...but it's not quite perfect yet!

STEP FOUR: SELECTIVE COLOUR

a lot of the same principles around colour theory apply to selective colour! this is where i go to adjust the colours according to what my colour palette is. for this gif, the overall colour is going to be purple, so i'll adjust the individual colours with that in mind.

i only ever adjust my red, yellow, white and black profiles! sometimes i'll do the other colours, but that's only for tweaking the final colour. i normally don't touch them at all.

ps: you'll notice i prefer a cooler toned gif, and almost always go for a more magenta looking red/yellow.

i always start with my yellows:

in the yellow profile, i pull my cyan towards the left to -38 (this helps eliminate the green in the yellows) and my yellow slider to the left to -27 (this cools down the yellows. i top it off by adjusting my magenta slider to -10, to help lower the saturation of the yellows.

you'll notice this step got rid of most of the green undertones - that's because the green was nested inside the yellows, so by taking out a lot of the cyan and yellow, you're left with a warmer yellow as opposed to a cooler yellow.

next i go on to my reds. this step will mainly effect the alys's skin tone, but i'm going to do pretty much the same as above but with much less dramatic of a change. lowering your colours in your red profile too much can lead to a very saturated gif, which is not what i'm going for.

i pulled my cyan slider to -19, magenta to -9 and yellow to -15. you can see this helped add some more cooler tones to the reds.

the next profiles are your white and black profiles. i use white to brighten the lightest parts of the gif. no rhyme or reason here, i just pull the black slider towards the left...usually around -25. for the black profile, i always move the black slider towards the right. anywhere from +3 to +8, depending on the gif. for this gif, i did +8. this darkens the blacks and, in my opinion, helps the gif pop!

you can see this step got rid of the yellow tint, gave the gif a more neutral look and adjusted the reds to better compliment a purple colour scheme !

STEP FIVE: LEVELS

this adjustment has three toggles - i'm not 100% sure what each toggle really does, i just know that by pulling the leftmost toggle to the right, it darkens your gif, and pulling the rightmost toggle to the left brightens your gif.

this step is so hard to explain, but really i just pull the toggles around until it looks good...sorry !

STEP SIX: BRIGHTNESS / CONTRAST

this step is exactly what it says on the tin...it brightens your gif. this step is based on your scene and personal preference, there's no real guide to it.

i always pull my brightness slider to the right ( brighter ) and my contrast slider to the left ( less contrast ).

STEP SEVEN: GRADIENT MAP

this last step is something i learned from @nataliescatorccio ! i add a gradient map to the top of my stack, and choose a lighter colour of what i want my overall gif to be. in this case, i used a very light purple!

i then set the blending mode to "soft light" and lower the opacity to anywhere from 20-30%. for this gif, i did 30%

this step will help make your colour pop once you do your main colouring!

PART TWO: PAINTING & COLOURING

- step 1: layer 1 - step 2: layer 2 - step 3: layer 3 - step 4: final touches

okay, so my actual colouring process is based in 3 layers. for this gif, i'm using a deep purple/mauve colour !

STEP ONE: LAYER ONE

between your brightness/contrast and gradient map layers, add another blank layer. change the blending mode of this layer to "colour" and set the opacity to 40%.

then, using a soft round brush with an opacity of 100% ( size of the brush is your preference, i typically use around 108 ), colour the parts of the gif you want coloured !

you can see this helps us get the canvas to a more uniform purple colour!

STEP TWO: LAYER TWO

for layer two we're going to do the exact same thing. add a layer above your previous, set to "colour" at 40%. we're going to go over the same areas!

you can see this helped get the purple so much more vibrant and closer to what our final colour is going to be!

STEP THREE: LAYER THREE

for our final layer, add another layer above the previous 2, set your blending mode to "multiply" and your opacity to anything from 60%-100%. for this gif, i did 60% !

now, our colouring is pretty much done but you can see that, now that our colour is down, alys's face is still a little too blue/green/yellow for the background purple. the next step, we're going to adjust and add final touches!

STEP FOUR: FINAL TOUCHES

at this point, i went back into my selective colour layer and adjusted my yellows & reds and went back into my colour balance layer to adjust everything overall.

at this point, i'm going to go in and add some adjustments layers above everything - i usually add some brightness/contrast, and a selective colour layer to darken the blacks.

which brings us to our final result:

[its-in-the-woods]

'Down the Rabbit Hole' Chapter 1

Chapter two chapter three Chapter four

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating: None for this chapter future ones will be adjusted.

Slow build like novel damn length okay, Very Fluffy, Pinch of Angst, Relationship Development, Hurt/Comfort, Older man/ Younger(30s) women, Alternative universe, fictional work (IDK WHY BUT I AM PUTTING IT) Probably more as I go.

Synopsis: Working in film as a make-up artist is hard enough, but then Walton Goggins requests you, well it's way too easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Note: they are both single, all for fun.

WARNING I do not have this all written out, I do have it plotted out, but it may be a little slower for chapters to come out. Please bear with me. If you know a Beta to edit please send them to me.

Getting the phone call that you're working with Liz again is surprising. You had encountered Liz several times, mostly as a day call trying to get hundreds of extras through a small window of time. She was well-known in the industry as being a giant pain in the ass. Though you had gotten along somewhat well with her, you had never quite felt like the women would have picked you as a second.

Sitting down in the production office you start to fill in paperwork. There is always so much paperwork. Thankfully this would have you working for the next four months. Four months of not having to fill out forms or wonder when your next job would come. Granted you had made a favorable impression with several other heads of department. But if everyone was honest the biz was saturated with less skilled artists who would bend over backward, or forwards, just to get a day in. You flick over the paperwork refilling the same information for the fifth time. 

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second,” It's Liz, done up to the nines as always. Touches of grey hair starting to show against the dirty blonde. She wears all black with a horrid mix of silver and gold jewelry. 

You follow the woman back, completely prepared for her to tell you that you will not be seconded to her. That you'd be moved to 2nd unit or something much more fitting for someone with just “five years of experience”. 

Walking into the little office you place the paperwork on your lap as you sit across from her. The walls have headshots of cast along with information underneath.  You don't pay attention, if you're working a different unit chances are you'd never see them anyway.

“Nice to see you again,” Liz says, you get a feeling that she was putting on a bit of a show. She’s put on a weird smile that doesn’t meet her eyes, not that you could tell she won’t look at you. 

“Likewise, hope you've been doing well,” You reply, you can't stomach being a kiss ass.

Liz makes a humming noise as she flips through the large binder. One of the the few things you both agreed on, is hard copy beat digital work. 

“At the moment you're not going to be seconding with me, you've been requested by the lead.” She gestures over to the wall.

You look over and see Walton Goggins’ face staring back at you. You chew at your lip, you've worked with him twice. Mostly while doing smaller rolls, he had always been easy to work with and hilarious.  

“Ah, I see.” You reply, trying not to act a little flustered. You'd never had an actor request you, it was probably one of the biggest compliments you could get.

“You and Trevor will be working together with Mr. Goggins. I've taken you've read the script?” Liz looked at you through heavy mascara eyelashes. You nodded at the question. “Good. It's pretty straightforward, anything with large amounts of blood will be dealt with by the FX crew. You're basically babysitting and making sure he doesn't wander off covered in gore.”

You can't suppress the laugh at the comment. You could picture the man getting driven away looking like he had murdered a small town. The Teamster would have a fit about cleaning that.

“Sounds good, I am guessing I can increase my pay and kit rental?” You push, requested or not you knew your kit was far better stocked than most. Whether Liz agrees or not would be a moot point.  You could always approach production for a pay raise. Running it through Liz first just kept accounting from jumping down your throat.

Liz stares at you for a moment, her mouth a thin line. For a second you think she may try to argue the wage. Instead, she flicks her eyes back down to her binder.

“Yes, Production has already approved a pay raise for both. As well as sending in a small request for certain products he’d like.” Liz passes you the paper without looking up. On the top is your wage and kit fee, along with product allowance. It's much more than you anticipate, but you keep that to yourself.  

“You can drop your stuff off at the trailer and then go grab what you need. Start things off slow.” 

***

Paperwork done and handed in, you grab timesheets, start packs and, any other office stuff you think the trailer may need. Driving down the narrow alley you park your little Honda Accord beside the make-up trailer. You unload several bins beside the steps before parking. Inside the trailer is pretty sparse. You set out to fill your drawers, stocking the place with all the necessities. Trevor shows up as you're starting to finish up. 

“Heyyyy,” He chirps, coming in with his own kit. The man is tall, slim, with a wicked smile, green eyes, and a riot of brown curly hair. He is a major flirt who loves to chat about anything and everything.

“Hey, Trevor. How have you been?” You give him a hug. The two of you had both started out at the same time and he was as close to a friend as you had in the industry.  

“Oh yah know, just living the dream!” He rolls his eyes, waving his hands in the air.

“Nice we get some space to spread out. Feels homey” You smile as you place paperwork into holders. 

The trailer was a newer model, with four stations, four chairs, mirrors, lights, and shelving. There was also a sink and hair sink. It was nice to have your own space. Often times you were allotted a small tent and much else. But here you had access to everything and it was warm against the never-ending rain. 

“Not to mention getting requested.” Trevor wiggles his eyebrows. “Like I didn't think that would ever happen.”

You both chuckle at the situation. You finish up and make sure all your bits and pieces are laid out. You’d print any notes for tomorrow and get them into binders. Also, need to make sure you are connected with everyone’s clouds. Digital wasn’t your niche but it was necessary. 

“Do you want me to grab anything for you? I am hitting up the usual haunts for goodies.” You ask, grabbing your purse. Downtown would be a nut house but having all the requested products was important. 

Trevor pauses the comb on his chin. “How about I text you the list I need? I think I need like four things?”

“Yep, that sounds good. I will see you tomorrow for camera tests”

***

You do three days of camera testing and running over lighting making sure everyone looks their best. It’s always a flurry, trying to find an easy groove that you all could work with. Liz took the first chair, Katie took the second chair, you were in third, and fourth was slated for fx. It was tight once everyone was in there and warm, but it worked and that’s really all you could ask for. 

Now near the end of the week came the first shoot day. Liz barely makes eye contact with you besides a ‘Good Morning’. You didn’t care, you knew what you needed to do, a detailed email had been sent out last night. Besides Walton, you had three other actors to take care of. Not surprisingly they were all male, Liz’s actual second was Katie. A petite woman with pin-straight blonde hair, a heart-shaped face, and a big personality. She loved doing anything cute and fun. So you got stuck with the rough end of things, but if you were honest that was your wheelhouse. Bruises, cut lips, red-rimmed eyes, bloody noses, looking a bit more disheveled and run down. Yep, all things you could do quickly and efficiently. Hopefully, the AD wouldn’t be too pushy. The first two men are easy enough, you and Trevor fall into a rhythm. Blasting some 80s music as you both drink Red Bulls and dance away. Katie joins in the fun as you all pretend to sing karaoke

The third man doesn’t show, which is annoying as hair in cream blush. You radio the AD who already sounds annoyed. He tells you he will bring Walton over ASAP to you. You let out a sigh and rub your face. You crack open another redbull and take a deep sip. The trailer ran on redbull, which was the preferable alternative. 

“Stepping up!” Yells a familiar voice. Walton comes in with a flurry, coffee in hand, sunglasses pushed up. He wiggles his way through everyone with polite hellos and hugs. He comes over and squeezes you into a tight embrace. You hug back your cheeks going a little pink. The man is striking both in looks and presence, his aura is calm and confident. His hair was jet black with silver sideburns, deep-set hazel eyes, and an infectious smile.

“Oh, it is so good to be back filming. Finally!” He flops himself into your chair crossing his long legs. He is already in costume well fitting jeans and a green button-up. 

“Nice to see you again.” You smile and get to work, “How’s the day treating you so far?”

“It’s been lovely, though I do miss the sunshine. Does it ever stop raining here?.” He chatters on. 

You finish skincare and get down to covering minor blemishes and making sure his eyebrows aren’t too wild. Trevor chitters back with the man as he sorts his hair into something a little neater than the fluff it was before. 

“There you are looking fantastic as always,” You croon and step away from the mirror. The man makes a shocked sound and inspects his face.

“Darlin’ you always make me look as pretty as a painting,” Walton giggles in a higher feminine voice, looking himself over in the mirror. 

“Oh hush,” You giggle back, “get your tight butt to set.” You shooed him out the door, he wiggled his butt and gave you a kiss on the cheek before swishing out the door. 

“That man is hilarious, it’s going to be a fun show,” Trevor stated with a chuckle as he prepared his set bag. “Do you think number three will show?”

You let out a sigh,” Probably not at this point, the AD is going to murder us if we don’t get to set now.”

***

Number three was standing on set, you felt anger roll over your shoulder. He was of average height with a face that looked as if he had a permanent scowl. At least you had brought an extra set bag. You grab the man’s arm firmly, hauling him away to stand under a set light. Trevor immediately trailed after you. He huffs and stands mostly still. You can smell weed on him, and judging by his red eyes he was stoned out of his mind. You hand him eyedrops, and the man sneers at you but puts them in. Letting some of the liquid spills on his face, you sigh.

“Look, nerves are normal.” You mutter more to yourself than anyone. “But coming here stoned and avoiding makeup and hair is not going to win you any brownie points.”

“I don’t need a lecture from you,” The man bites out, walking away as you tuck your brush back into your bag. You grumble and move over to your chair, you make eye contact with one of the AD’s who scoots over to you. 

“I apologize about Arnold not coming to your trailer, I didn’t realize he was here.” The man lets out his own sigh, “It won’t happen again.”

“He doesn’t like us at all. Going to make things a little tricky.” You reply trying not to call him a complete ass about him. 

AD nods his head, “I know. It will be dealt with.”

You walk over to the video village peering at the screens as you say hello to familiar faces. Everyone looked good, even Arnold, at least his eyes weren’t completely bloodshot. You take a particular look at Walton who seems to be letting himself get into character. Something flits in your heart as he looks up at the camera from under his brow. 

***

The day ends and you cycle through secondary actors, Arnold all but running out the door once he is done. You can’t help but glare at the man, the least he could do was say thank you for cleaning his dirty mug. 

You flop down in the chair as the rest of your coworkers clean their things. The buzz of your coworkers is somehow relaxing, you take a sip of cold coffee and clean your brushes. Another knock and you turn to see Walton walking in, he has run his hands through his hair so that it stands straight up.

You let out a chuckle, “Did you stick a fork in a socket.” Getting up to let the leading man sit in the chair. 

“Oh, this?” He says pointing at his head, “I thought it was supposed to look like this.”

The room erupts in laughter as he makes his eyes cross and sticks his tongue out pretending to be electrocuted. Shaking your head you get to work, skincare was just as important as the actual makeup. You were ever grateful the man thoroughly enjoyed being pampered and preened by everyone. Made your job so much easier. 

*I am definitely nervous about posting this. But I hope it's fun and cute. It's going to be a slow build and a lot of back and forth. But I promise it will be fun cute and a little moody. Just a pinch of angst cause why not. *

Chapter two

[ant111fragile]

MY VOID SUCCESS STORY!!

My Void state Journey+Baby steps

I first came to know about the void state when @gorgeouslypink shared her success story and like everyone else I got obsessed with the idea of having everything at once since I didn't put my all in manifesting and couldn't manifest consciously except for ice cream that shit always manifests lmao. So like I said I was obsessed I started trying like any amateur but every time I'd lay on bed and affirm i wouldn't even realise when I would fall asleep and wake up to the same shit but one thing good about me is i would never spiral.. So for more than a couple months I tried the 10k affirmation challenge for void concept/void state affs cuz everyone was suggesting it but guess what i never actually completed it. I would start over and over cuz I didn't had no consistency and never completed it until last week I FINALLY did!!

What I think worked for me

I actually completed the 10k aff challenge and reached 12000 affirmations on 7th jan It didn't have any specific effect on my mind since I feel like I had always believed in my vc but I think what went right was my brain ACTUALLY REALLY was saturated after the consistent affs I fed myself with. And then at night of 8th Jan I tapped into the void.

Entering the void+experience.

So i went to bed at the usual time I'd always attempt the void and this time I sat upright on bed with pillows to support my back well. I put on the void state/epsilon waves subliminal by slade. From YouTube (this shit is good.)

and did my routine as I had scripted : I counted till 300 with deep breaths but you can count less. I did it cuz it takes me too much to relax and kinda concentrate (Till then I had already experienced the being pulled in feeling and it had went away but I was calm I did not even pay attention to it.) My body was numb by then and I started to affirm "I am in the void state " Bringing back my normal pace of breathing. After a while i started to float and get the usual symptoms like spinning and and an inner earthquake lmao but yeah I tried my best to keep focusing on affs which automatically results in ignoring symptoms. again that ascending feeling of being pulled came back. So I kept affirming and I visualised the black hole kinda shit in my head take me to the void and the next thing I know I'm in a completely feelingless place no subliminal sound and I was damn relaxed but that the same time too excited and even though I didn't like instantly got thrown out I still got out without even affirming I kinda forgot? Sounds funny but might happen. That's pretty much it. So I took a day off to relax and sustain that feeling I'm entering today again to manifest my desired life.

Tips + advice

‌do not follow somebody else's methods if your conditions don't align with the routine or something.

‌try the 10k aff challenge for your vc. If you don't enter at 10,000 try 15k then 20k then 30k and don't fck with me you'll reach by then alright.

‌since it's your own state you just have to tap into it sooner or later you will so don't be stressed and attempt. Just tap into it cause you will.

‌everytime you wake up to your same reality affirm you are one step closer. Or you did enter and you're entering again. Don't repeat the old story.

‌subliminals or music they only serve to relax you only you hold the ultimate power.

‌don't look/ask for methods. There are enough methods already and it's only a matter of time when you'll find your own.

‌chile

All the blogs who helped me with my mindset shift are @uniquelymeandmyworld @rosellesworkshop @fleurlx @konniesreality @gorgeouslypink thank you all so much for everything you guys do it's literally selfless and I can't with the people who throw shade on y'all!!

Also thanks to @voidsuccess they really help with the success stories!!

[itgirl-111]

FOOD FOR THOUGHT #2

I was reading atomic habits, and then i realised that...wait...this can be applicable to your mind as well. Habits not only have to be physical but they can be mental as well right? I mean, there are thought patterns which you associate with every subject or the way you respond to certain situations, and ur default thought in relation to the subject, is your thinking HABIT or ur dominant thought.

If relationships pop up into your mind, if ur default thought is, "love is hard to find, all men are cheaters" that's ur default thought, or should I say, ur default thinking pattern.

Atomic habits are all about the TINY changes the TINY habits that compound into larger returns on investment overtime.

So if we think about it, we have about 70,000 thoughts a day. About 95% of them are negative and repetitive. The way Manifestation works is whatever dominant thoughts u have or id say beliefs/ inner conversations, manifest.

Taking that into consideration, many of us have tried to reprogram our mind with Affirmations, subliminals, etc. Most of the times what happens is, you affirm for ten minutes, then you feel super motivated afterwards but throughout a random time in your day when you're probably scrolling ur phone, you go "ok but where is it?" Or maybe someone is talking about how hard money is to make and you go " yeah it definitely is I'm so broke". Or a when that random relationship reel pop up and you're like "I'm so lonely just when will I get my sp" or when you are looking in the mirror and you go "I don't have my dream body yet tho ".

Do you see a recurring pattern? Do you notice how these TINY moments like these are the ones forming your dominant thoughts? That is what keeps manifesting. You let it slide but then you keep affirming for five minutes and then switching back and forth between "I have it" and "where is it".

The real key lies when you KNOW you affirmed for it, and then NEVER look back. You already accepted it as true. Doesn't mean u stop affirming but what you're thinking OUTSIDE of that affirming sessions are JUST as important as your saturation sessions or visualising.

What will happen if we all started assuming that things will always work in our favour instead of switching to old thinking habits?

What if we just accepted out desire as true now and be firm with it, throughout the day everyday? Manifestation will be instant and you won't even realise the time.

So when you wake up, assume your day is gonna go smoothly, or when u drink water everytime your skin gets clearer or that one teacher that u don't like is gonna be nice to you, money is just randomly gonna find you and so on...

And remember you can affirm about anything, it's not about how many times you affirm but it's knowing u already have it and then never ever looking back, no matter what you see.

[inkabelledesigns]

Belladonna Nightshade - Halloween Dark Fairy

Base Doll: G3 Twyla from Monster High Clothing Pattern: Dollightful's Asymmetrical Dress (read to the end, I have notes about this)

Happy Halloween everyone! Since becoming a doll customizer, my Halloween dolls are usually related to my favorite indie horror game, Bendy and the Ink Machine. However, seeing as I've completed two Bendy dolls already this year, I felt it was time to give myself a break and try something a bit different. My friends over in DollyAnna's Discord server wanted to do a collaboration, so we decided to all make some Dark Fairies for Halloween!

Belladonna Nightshade is a mischievous fae that loves to play tricks and tempt mortals. That said, she's easily bribed with a sweet treat or two, and will usually let you be if you have a little candy or pastry to give her. I haven't decided what I want to do with her yet in terms of a story, but there is a part of me that would love to have her in my Equinox story.

When you consider the fact that most of my other Halloween dolls are black and yellow, it's no surprise she ended up super colorful. XD Would you believe this is my first doll with rainbow hair? Yeah neither did I, but she is! Part of my style is having really colorful and vibrant dolls, it surprises a lot of people that I've never done a rainbow before, but honestly? I'm glad to have finally tackled one! I'm also glad to have worked with another G3. Twyla is very near and dear to my heart, and I was so psyched to work with her mold! You can't see it in any of these photos, but I used glow in the dark varnish on her eyes and neon markings, so that her eyes still glow like the original. I will say, this doll has a lot more acrylic paint than my others, just by the nature of I don't have any pencils in neon colors. It was nice to get the practice in, I feel more confident than I did before in my brush skills. It was also nice to have a doll with dark scleras for a change! I haven't done that since I made Dreamer, it's surprisingly fun to draw on!

I was inspired by a LOT of different things with this one, and I went back and forth on my concepts a lot. Black light skeleton make-up, butterflies, fairies with non-traditional wings, candy, jesters, these were all sources of inspiration, and I think most obviously of all, Dollightful herself. This wasn't intentional, but I ended up using a doll of one of her favorite characters, with a lot of saturated colors which we know she loves, and even her dress pattern! I've been wanting to make this garment for ages, and finally I had a reason to try it!

So those of you who know how this pattern works are probably asking "Kat, how did you make this fit a G3? This dress is supposed to fit a G1 Monster High doll!" Believe it or not, Requiem Arts has a method for easily adjusting G1 patterns to fit G3 bodies. It's as simple as scaling a pattern up to 104% and printing it that way. It's meant for her garments, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work for other doll patterns. So I tried it with Katherine's dress, and I'm happy to say it worked out just fine! I think I probably should have adjusted a bit more on the skirt though. This outfit is essentially two pieces, and the skirt with all the ruffles is a little tight around the booty, it could have used a little more sizing up. So if you own this pattern and want to try this yourself, do keep that in mind!

Do let me know what you think! I had so much fun working on Belladonna, she's so vibrant and fun, I wanna try more fairies like her someday. I also need to try using props more. I got these pumpkins and hay bales on sale, and it was fun using them to craft a little temporary set for photos.

[literally-noone83]

Something Childish

Geto×Reader Nanami×Reader

Warning: None.

Word count: Short.

a/n: Trying to keep my pieces smaller, my ideas more manageable (I have about a thousand unfinished works). Anyways, just some unrequited love, babies. My fav. Enjoy babes.

"Wha- Nanamin?!"

"Wait seriously??"

"You like-"

You slap your hand over Gojo's big mouth.

"Could you say that any louder?" you hiss at him.

Like a child whispering gossip at the playground he repeats himself, "You have a crush on Nanamin?"

You tsk your tongue at him, shoving his face back with your whole hand. His piss-poor attempt to lower his voice make your cheeks flush and your brows pinch in frustration.

"What? It's not like he's gonna hear us." Gojo argues, glancing at the convenient store across from them. You three stood by the bared rail that separated ongoing city goers and the busy roads of Tokyo. You gripped at it tightly, refusing to look at either of Geto or Gojo that caged you, or towards the door of the store you knew Nanami and Haibura were in buying snacks.

"He could come out at any moment"

Geto was silent. He noticed the way you swayed, the way you looked so nervous. You were never this nervous, not even on missions.

"Or hear your big mouth from a mile away"

"I can't believe you like emo boy-"

You smack his arm. "Don't call him that"

Your defence for Nanami wasn't unfamiliar. You often stood up for him, as you did for anybody who was teased or judged. Under new light of information, the boys looked to see it was affection. A sudden feeling of stupidity washes over Geto, he should've known.

"Do you... really like him?" He asked.

"No- Yes, I mean... maybe?" You let out a curt sigh, "I don't know, I've liked him for a while..."

Your two best friends glanced at each other before gazing back down to you, they were thinking the same thing.

Geto began gently, warry of your sensitivity. "How come-"

"And you never told us??" Gentleness goes amiss with Gojo, as his questions is more accusing than worried.

"I- it just never came up ok?! Its not like you guys tell me your crushes or- or any arising infactuations"

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't" You throw an incredulous look at the white haired deliquent. Geto quietly sighs.

"Yes I do! I tell you all my fancies." He crosses his arms.

"You tell me girls you think are hot, not girls you like, dimwit, there's a difference."

"Ok maybe I dont get crushes- but I'm sure Suguru does!" He throws his hands at Geto, and you glance at him. Geto blinks, his face flushing slightly.

"Oh stop it! Jeez when did you guys become to invested in my love life?" You leant on the rail once more in resignation.

"Uh when you started liking one of our friends, fucking Nanamin"

"Saturou"

"What?"

Geto shoots him a silently reprimanding look Gojo knew a little too well. He relents with an eye roll, begrudgingly turning away from you to lean his back on the metal. Geto's gaze softens as he refocuses on you, silence finally settling upon them.

He hears you groan into your arms, evidently regretting ever telling them.

Seeing you this riled up was new. This stressed over a crush of all things he never knew you'd have. Not that he thought you weren't capable of having one, you have feels and emotions, you're a human being, of course at some point you'd like someone, anyone it's just-

Geto blinked away his thoughts. Its just... Crushes felt childish, and you were everything but. You were always pragmatic on missions, meticulous and calculating when it came to every plan and every detail, you scoffed at nearly every romance Gojo tried forcing you to watch with him, you had these walls up; ones that only came down around them. Around him. Because that was just how you were, but here you are, getting embarrassed over something as simple as a crush and Geto couldn't help but feel sympathy.

He places a hand on you shoulder.

"Hey... you know you can tell us these things right? I mean you don't have to but..." Geto lowered his head just to catch your strayed gaze, "We're friends, yea? Nothing to be embarrassed about." His words are soft and sweet, and he offers a smile that's kind and genuine once you finally meet his eyes. The corner of your lips pulls into a small appreciative smile the way he likes to see it, knowing he's got your sweet spot. He always did.

You place a hand over his, that makes his skin tingle with goosebumps, and your lips part to say something,

"Suguru-"

The door of the convenient store dings, "We got snacks!!" Haibura's sing-song voice erupt in the pathway exiting the store with a ding, pulling your attention away from Geto.

Another ding and Gojo jumps towards the shorter second year who's quick to dish out the goods that was requested. Geto flashes a polite smile as he's handed his ongiri, but his eyes keep wandering back to you. You're gaze is elsewhere and he follows it to Nanami who took his time to give thanks to the cashier, holding an extra few treats.

Recognition flickers across his eyes. It's the milky pink popsicle - strawberry, your favourite. The same one he bought you every time he went out, thinking of his friends as always. Thinking of you, always.

He catches the way you two exchange words. The way Nanami rubbed the back of his neck as he gave you the treat, trying his hardest to keep his composure. The way you look up at him surprised, yet quick to blink away your expressions. You avoid eye contact with the blonde before you, and your voice rises into a slightly high pitch than Geto is used to. If he wasn't so caught up in the unfamiliar sight, he would have laughed, teased you. But all he can think about is how foolish he was to not have picked up the signs earlier... not picked up the fact that you liked someone else.

"Ok let's go! Before we miss our train." Haibura chimes. Geto is ripped from his thoughts at the round of 'ok!'s from everyone. "Ok," His delayed response goes unnoticed. Nanami and you lead the group, an awkward walk as you politely chat.

"Wait guys! Wait up-" Gojo grabs Haibura from running up to them, covering his mouth.

"Shhh," He presses a finger against his lips, tightly gripping his jacket to stay between the seniors. "Let them have their moment, yea?" His pats the smaller friend's chest, a stunned look on his face.

"Moment? What do you-" He gasps, "Does Y/n like Nanami?"

"Quiet, Child, they'll hear you."

"Gojo tell me!"

"I made a vow to never tell"

"Gojooo!"

While Haibura pesters Gojo with questions, their words seem to blur and fade into the back as his focus lays on you. He couldn't seem to look away. Even under the sunsetting sunlight, the smile you offered glowed all the more. His eyes traced your lips as they moved, inaudible words Geto silently wish he could hear in that moment. He noted the way the corner of your eyes crinkled, grinning so wide at something Nanami said until your eyes disappeared into moon crescent shapes he loved. Your head tilted the way he knew you to do just to let someone silently know you're listening. He watched as you threw your head back laughing, a genuine laugh he knew the sound of too well, only to count the seconds before you're lifting a hand to cover your mouth - a habit he didn't like. From afar, he still had the reflexive urge to reach up and pull away your hand gently just to hear you properly, but he settles with digging his hands deeper into his pockets.

Gojo was right, this was your moment. But despite tearing his gaze from you, it flickered back to your face. For once he finally took notice; he could see it in your eyes that the walls were, too, crumbling. For someone other than him. It was moments like these, when his heart raced a little just because you smiled and time seemed to slow down as your eyes lit up.

Sometimes, Geto felt pretty childish himself.

[iamthat-iam]

after reading through your posts and other non-dualism blogs i realised that when i was in loa, i struggled so much to manifest as i kept seeking validation from the 3D more than my imagination as i kept relying on my human body, the 5 sense for validation. if i didn't see it in the 3D/ experience it with my 5 senses i would automatically be like "oh i don't see it" then i either continue affirming and persisting or do SATS fulfilling my inner man, or other loa methods. and the cycle repeats again. it's like i know the knowledge i know exactly how to apply but due to the fact that i couldn't stop relying on my human senses to determine what is "real" and what is not. it's so automatic and that's the reason why i was stuck in the cycle and i couldn't get out or actually persist for goodness sake as some point in time id be like "okay this is not working ill try something else" then came the void obsession. i would try so many methods just to get into the void and manifest my desires. affirm, persist, fulfill the inner man, seek validation from my 5 senses and then start all over again and it never stops. everyone keeps saying that the 3D and the 4D are separate which made it even worse as it would be EVEN HARDER to actually see my desires as mine when the physical senses are showing the opposite. no one denies that the physical sense are fake. we are taught that we have every right to feel whatever we want to feel and that our human body is real etc.

then when i left loa and stepped into the non-duality community. it started making so much more sense. everything is an illusion, nothing is real. everything is consciousness/imagination. my trauma, my name, age, height gender etc. NONE OF IT IS REAL. the only thing that is "real" is awareness. even my 5 sense aren't real. so why would i have to rely on it? seek validation from it? i no longer have to "work" to get it in the human experience. NO. there's no affirming to "get" something. there is no "desire". there is no "manifestation". there is no "human body/self/ego/senses" ALL OF IT IS IMAGINARY. self doesn't desire. self has everything. self IS EVERYTHING. there is no "3D" no "4D". these concepts do NOT exist. they are made up and are an illusion. is doesn't make sense to call yourself limitless and then limit yourself to methods, affirm/persist, laws, etc. THERE ARE NO RULES. there is no such thing as "if you don't fulfill yourself, you won't get your desires". desires are from the human ego, the human body-mind has desires. SELF DOES NOT HAVE DESIRES. it doesn't make sense for self to desire when self is everything.

the 5 sense aren't real, never were, never will be. the moment we imagine something it INSTANTLY exists. the reason why we do not "see" is because we identify with the false self/ego hence thinking that it's not real. i remember i saw a non-dualism ig account say this before @infinite.ko.

"You can instantly experience a reality without your 5 senses, only by observing it, if you constantly limit yourself to 5 senses, you will identify with the Body-Mind and go down the "Why isn't it here yet" hole"

the concept of manifestation does not exist. it doesn't make sense. you claim to have all of your "desires" then why do you look else where to search and search for it when it has been within YOU all along? you job was never to affirm 10k times, repeat to saturate your subconscious mind, get into the void to "manifest" or "materialise" your "desires". why would you work so hard to "get" something when all you had to do was realise that it was within YOU the whole time? "manifest", "materialise" only exist because you think that there is a 3D reality for them to show up in. when the truth is, there was no "3D" or "4D" in the first place. there is no imagination VS reality. nothing is real, it has always been illusion VS illusion. your only and ONLY job ever is to simply just OBSERVE. just sit back and watch.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR:

thoughts

feelings

emotions

body

mind

5 senses

YOU ARE AWARENESS ONLY

if you want something simply observe it. imagine it. that's it. once you imagined it you already experienced it. as the observer and awareness you are not even supposed to put in the bare effort to get anything. NOT EVEN AN OUNCE OF IT. why on earth would you want to experience it with the physical senses when you are just the observer and you can experience it by just observing? the physical senses are an illusion. "manifestation" was supposed to be effortless and easy, but the idea of our "thoughts" and "states" manifest and we are supposed to change them is just TOO MUCH. there is nothing to change just observe/imagine/be aware.

if anytime you get thoughts like "why is it not here" "why don't i see it" "why hasn't it manifested yet" you are immediately identifying with your human self. as your true self/ nature would NEVER think/ even say such things. it would simply OBSERVE.

credits to all the non-dualism blogs out there, i couldn't thank you enough for teaching us this. thank you <333

@msperfect777 @lains-reality @consciousnessbaddie @awarenessis @luvcompass @infinite.ko (on ig)

That is so true!! Relying on the human senses will always be our downfall, we can affirm and persist, apply states, do SATS, script, or any method we want, but if we can't accept that it's DONE ALREADY, then it's all for nothing! It really is a vicious cycle.

I'm also guilty of jumping from method to method, I got the most "results" from affirming and persisting, but I wasn't "getting" my "big" manifestations, so I switched to states, which did nothing but stress me out 😂 with the 3D and 4D being separate, fulfilling the "inner man" like it's too much.

Non dualism has given me all the clarity and peace I had been searching for since 2019 when I found law of attraction. I am so happy that myself and other bloggers were able to help you on your journey as well 🥹🫶🏾 I am so happy that you are now in a better place and are out of the cycle of trying to "manifest" and "get things". Such a stressful way to live.