#and I do love his skating - his two programs were my favorite last season after shoma’s

[alwayshappyhoursomewhere]

Cup of China 2023 - Adam Siao Him Fa and Shoma Uno during the men’s victory ceremony

[dancingazaleas]

zeke yeager | my baby

this is bc of the new episode; i’ve known his backstory for a while but i didn’t come up with the idea until now LFMAOOAOA

anyways zeke supremacy

edit: this is so bad but enjoy LMFOAOAOA

warnings/notes: this is strictly platonic, takes place in canonverse during zeke’s childhood then to the beginning of season 4, cursing, mentions of mental abuse from family, murder, fem!reader(feel free to change if u want), yeah i’m unoriginal and the reader is the female titan before annie, angst,

when you first met zeke, zeke was extremely hesitant towards you.

grisha and dina had brought you into the house, a 17 year old girl who had soft and gentle eyes along with a nice smile. zeke had recognized you from the warrior program. you hadn’t inherited your titan just yet, you still had a few more years before they would allow it to be given to you. your predecessor gained the titan around your age, no one really knows why. zeke assumes that it must be a similar case with mr. ksaver and himself.

it shocked zeke in all honesty. they’re letting a warrior watch over him? one that isn’t in cahoots with his mother and father?

it wasn’t until grisha and dina pulled him into a different room and told him to get information on your views that he understood why. they wanted to use you, just like they wanted to use zeke. the worst of it all was that zeke knows you. he looks up to you, you graduated third out of all of your peers, you express love with the younger candidates such as zeke.

he felt like curling up in his bed and crying, he didn’t want you to babysit him just so his parents could use you.

but whenever the couple left, your arms encased him in warmth. you were hugging him tightly to you, fingernails surely digging into the fabric of his shirt. he felt his eyes widen whenever he felt a drop of a liquid on his shoulder. you were crying.

you pulled away and put a hand on his cheek, looking at him with endearment. zeke started crying at this, not once had dina touched him like this. not once had grisha looked at him like this.

“it’s okay, my boy,” you pull him close again, “i’m here.”

for the first time, zeke wasn’t cowering in a corner while he sobbed. he sobbed in the arms of a person, one that loved him dearly whether he knew it or not. you were even crying for him.

“my mother and father were apart of the same group,” you whispered as you stroked his hair, “they pushed me so far to my limits.”

“so, i did something i regret,” you sob, “something i hope you’re never forced to do.”

your whimper gave him chills, “i murdered my mother with a butcher knife and pinned the crime onto my father. all at the age of ten. to this day, i don’t know how i got away with it. maybe the police pitied me or found it excusable because of their affiliations with the group.”

“you hurt someone,” he sniffles, eyes widened in fear.

it gave you a frown, however you couldn’t blame him, “i did. it was mistake and i wish i had never done it. i just wished for my mother and father to love me, not to use me. after that, i found myself in the warrior program. maybe with this power, i could do some good. to show marley that us eldians are not devils.”

you rid him of his snot and tears with your shirt, “when i saw your father the time he came to observe you, i was immediately able to tell. your reaction had said it all. i can’t allow myself to witness you go through what i did without doing something. even if it’s small.”

he blinks at you after you softly kiss him on his forehead.

“now, is there anything you want to do?”

————

that afternoon, you played catch and volleyball with zeke. after that, you bought him whatever meal he wanted from the market and ate with him at the table. he told you about his stuffed monkey, who he named jerry, and his adventures.

he was sad when you had to leave, to which dina and grisha informed him you would come to their home sparingly. although he was delighted, he was also sad.

the next day, you doted on him during the short breaks between his training. patting his head, shaking him by his shoulders, and giving him a hug. when lunch came around, you pulled out a home cooked lunch for him as you sat on a bench. you would give him advice with training and his health while he ate.

he even shared some of his food with her.

after that was his time with ksaver. he didn’t see you during that time, obviously, but that didn’t mean you didn’t come during their conversations.

zeke was surprised to hear the praising from ksaver. ksaver said that you were a good figure for him and that you had a genuine heart. it made him feel at ease.

when the day was over, you walked zeke home and even ate dinner with him and his parents. it was a surprise that made you slightly bitter, but you accepted nonetheless.

they talked to you excitedly, asking about your duties as a warrior. you exceptionally avoided answering the questions, instead prodding at their own occupations and duties.

in the end, it felt like a game of tag. avoiding and then charging.

the night you were on your way to watch zeke, you felt your heart drop at the feral screeching of grisha and the reassurance of dina. you banged your fist against the door worriedly, sweat forming at your hairline.

the yelling stopped and you heard the patter of footsteps against the floor. dina looked flustered as she opened the door, face tear stained and eyebrows knitted up in concern.

“oh, (name), we don’t need you to watch over him anymore.”

“no, please, allow me,” you put on a fake smile that made her relax.

“you can take him out for a bit,” she, surprisingly, compromised and stepped aside to let you inside.

you bolted to zeke’s dark room. he was in a corner with his knees pushed against his chest and his hands covering his ears. his tears were making puddles on his knees as he stared blankly at the wall. you rush to him, pulling his head into your chest and picking him up.

“it’s alright,” you whispered, “you’ll be with me for a little bit.”

he didn’t respond but just wiped his eyes when he realized he would pass by his mom. you gave dina a brisk goodbye before leaving and taking him to a nearby park.

“it’s alright, my boy, it’s alright,” you coo and stroke his sweaty back.

for once, he felt okay.

————

the day zeke reported his parents, you held him in your arms. from then, he stayed with his grandparents and often found himself spending time with you after training when his schedule allowed it.

now, zeke is 16 and you’re 29. zeke was often seen with you or ksaver during his free time, now having the power of the best titan secured when ksaver’s term is up.

you mentor a girl named annie leonhardt, the next inheritor of the female titan. zeke occasionally sees you and annie catching some bugs in the grass during your mentoring. other days, you talk to her or just look at the sky. once at the beginning of the year, he once saw you take annie ice skating over a lake.

when he spends his time with you, you’re often doting on him and taking care of him. one time, you convinced the kids and some of the older soldiers to all play a game of baseball after your training was over.

you walked the extra mile for zeke no matter what. zeke was in trouble during a war and you swatted him into the trenches with your hand before attacking the enemy a year ago. whenever zeke would get hurt, you’d be his nurse.

if zeke’s being honest, you’re the maternal figure in his life. you act as if he’s your son, love him like he’s your son, and sometimes you even let it slip and call him that. sometimes zeke messes up and calls you mom.

in your eyes, he is your son.

in his eyes, you’re his mom.

but with being a parental figure came with fighting. it didn’t happen often, but whenever it did it was bad. zeke would become more irritable and angry while you would become reserved and melancholy.

when zeke was 14, you got into a fight so bad that it ended up getting you bedridden. you’d been sick from stress and it lasted for weeks until zeke swallowed his pride and apologized.

it almost made bertholdt, annie, reiner, porco, pieck, and marcel laugh at how domestic the two of you are when together. but as soon as you left zeke’s side, he would revert back to his quiet and receptive personality.

“zeke, my boy,” you call as you walk towards all the warrior candidates, “i’ve got your favorite.”

“thanks,” he hums when you stand beside him.

“i also brought some food for you all too. since we didn’t have training today, i thought you all could enjoy a nice break by having a picnic,” you clap your hands with a smile and they all feel like they’re seeing an angel.

they all agree and follow behind you when you start leading them towards a grassy field. you set the basket down and rummage through it, pulling out a nice thick blanket so the blades of the grass wouldn’t poke through.

“help me lay this out,” zeke sighs but obliges.

with zeke’s help, everyone is sitting on the blanket and eating and conversing. you listen quietly as you chew on the sandwich you made.

“miss (name),” pieck’s soft voice said beside you, “thank you for the picnic.”

you smile and shake your head, cheeks puffing out from the food that’s still in your mouth.

“can we do this again,” shyly asks reiner.

you gulp down your food and choke a bit, “y-yes! of course!”

you turn to zeke and speak quietly, “how was training yesterday?”

“it was fine. my calves are kind of sore though, it’s been a while since we did squats,” he shrugs and looks up, “ksaver let me pitch to him again.”

“i’m assuming it was at least enjoyable?”

“yeah...,” he trails off, “could you massage my calves for me in a little while?”

you pinch his cheek as you laugh, “of course! anything for you, my child.”

he chuckles while he swats at your hand, “quit that. it hurts.”

before you could pinch him even harder, porco’s loud voice interrupted.

“miss (name), are you zeke’s mom?”

his brother and annie hit him, scolding him in whispers.

“i-i’m so sorry miss (name)..! my brother means no harm,” marcel stutters nervously.

“it’s alright, i don’t mind,” zeke’s slightly flustered, “but no, i’m not zeke’s mother.”

“so why do you act so friendly?”

“i met zeke when i was 17 and he was just a little boy. i would watch him while his grandparents were away,” you lie like it’s nothing.

“i’ve always seen zeke as my little boy though even if i’m only 13 years older,” it has them all gaping and zeke staring at his food.

“why’d you become a warrior then,” reiner blurts out, slapping a hand over his mouth in shame, “sorry... but with all due respect, you have a family you love and who love you... why would you let your life end so short?”

for just a second the smile on your face cracks into a frown as you feel your throat tighten up, “why are you asking such disrespectful questions? i understand you have no malicious intent, however it sounds as if you are seeing my decision as an ignorant one. are you calling me ignorant for becoming a warrior?”

zeke just looks away sadly. you never really had to put on this demanding ploy too much since no one dared to ask a question such as reiner did. not to mention that you had to in order to keep your position. reiner scrambles to pledge his loyalty to marley with your eyes burning holes into his head.

the others slightly cower in fear, they’d only ever heard that you could be like this from their mentors. but when they all looked in your, now, sad eyes, they relaxed.

“but, to answer your question,” you say reluctantly, “i was already selected to inherit the female titan.”

“now,” you cough and zeke knows it’s because you want to cry, “i need to go.”

they all help you get everything together, fidgeting anxious as they watch you walk back to the dorm. when you were far enough away, porco shouts at reiner for asking such questions and ruining the picnic. it ends up with annie joining in with the berating and marcel slapping porco upside the head.

zeke just leaves and follows you. he can’t be bothered to listen to them argue while you’re probably crying.

zeke knew it was about your 13 years coming to an end, meaning you wouldn’t be with him anymore. the first time he brought it up, you sobbed out apologies while holding his head to your chest. zeke knows not to bring it up again.

however, reiner didn’t. although he was slightly frustrated with reiner, he understood that he meant no harm to you. sometimes reiner just doesn’t think before he speaks.

zeke finds you with your head in your hands as you cry on your bed. the creaking of the door opening has you looking up and making eye contact and your eyes fill up with tears. zeke shut the door behind him and sat next to you after you pat the spot beside you.

zeke knows what’s going to happen, but allows it anyways because it puts you both at ease.

you cradle his head to your chest, stroking his hair with one hand and his back with another. zeke feels himself starting to cry when you cry out apologies and exclamations of love.

“zeke, my boy, i love you,” you whimper, “i’m so sorry i cannot be by your side until i grow old.”

zeke’s fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt and let’s out a broken sob.

“you’re the light of my life, zeke,” you whisper, “my beautiful boy, my beautiful baby.”

his shoulders shake and he wanted to tell you to stop and to pull away. but he won’t.

“you’re the son i never had, zeke, did you know that,” you sob and squeeze him tight.

it has him wailing and holding you tight. though zeke knew this, you never said it out loud.

“my baby, my baby,” you croak, “i love you so much, zeke.”

“love you too,” he chokes out, muffled by your shirt.

“zeke, my boy, my son, my zeke.”

“please don’t leave me,” it makes you sob even louder.

“i’m so sorry, zeke, i’m so sorry.”

————

zeke couldn’t look in annie’s direction after your term ended and her’s started. even at 29 years of age, he still curls up in a ball and cries himself to sleep. he carries a photograph of the two of you, he remembers taking the picture on your 26th birthday.

back on marley, whenever you were brought up in conversations, reiner, porco, and pieck stared at him with sympathy.

after zeke’s arms grow back on the blimp, he pulls out the folded photograph from his pocket. he stares at your beaming smile.

“who’s the girl,” eren asks, ignoring how yelena looks at him fiercely, “when’d you get a girlfriend?”

zeke shakes his head, “not a girlfriend.”

“who is she then,” eren gestures with his hand, the clinking of the metal chains echoing in the small room on the blimp.

“my mother,” he murmurs while he hands it to eren.

“dina doesn’t look like that.”

“eren, did you ever see a memory of a woman being introduced as a babysitter?”

“now that it’s being mentioned, yea.”

“that’s her,” the memory has him chuckling, “she treated me like her son before she died.”

eren transfers his gaze to yelena, a silent request for her to give more information.

“(name) (last name) was the inheritor of the female titan before annie leonhardt. she inherited the titan a few months after she turned 17, her predecessor, flora, was unexpectedly injured during war and was not able to regenerate. although disorganized and unexpected, (name) managed to eat flora. she died at the age of 30 when annie ate her as a pure titan,” yelena elaborates hesitantly as zeke’s small smile fades, “she was often recognized for her kind personality and optimistic attitude.”

“i see,” he said.

“were you her beautiful boy,” eren taunts.

“yes. i was.”

he sounds sad while he folds it back up and puts it in his pocket.

maybe he could be the same to eren.

[yoificfinder]

Hi! I was wondering if you would be able to find some time travel/time loop AUs where Victor and Yuuri (and other members of the YoI cast) are thrown around in time please? Thank you so much!

Hi! These are some time travel fics (mix of both canonverse and AUs) I read and enjoyed:

Previous rec of time travel fics where they meet their other self in the other timeline

a great desire to love by lily_winterwood / @omgkatsudonplease [T, 22K]

For some strange, inexplicable, fantastic reason, Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are trading places. Kimi no Na wa AU.

All Our Yesterdays by @kitsunebi-uk [E, 102K]

York, England, 2120: Yuuri Katsuki is a dime-a-dozen techie, spending his days doing routine repairs at the university. He hangs out with his friend Phichit, goes for a drink, watches holograms. It’s an existence – but is it a life?

Crowood Castle, Yorkshire, 1392: As the son of a baron, Sir Victor Nikiforov makes judgements where lives hang in the balance. As a knight, he must sometimes end them. It’s what he was born to do – but what of the heavy burden on his soul? Death is all too commonplace, while life and love remain elusive.

When a brilliant scientist goes rogue, journeying to the Middle Ages with the world’s first time machine, Yuuri is stunned to be called on as the last hope of preventing her from changing history. After an abrupt departure, he lands at Crowood Castle disguised as an enemy of the Nikiforovs, Sir Justin le Savage – and will need to act the part if he is to survive. It’s a tall order for someone who can barely tell the back end of a horse from the front. But if Ailis, in her own disguise, discovers who he is, his mission will end in a blaze of laser-gun fire. He must not give his real identity away, even to the beguiling knight he’s falling in love with…

Elevators Out of Order by mtothedestiel [E, 31K] *WIP

A Kate and Leopold AU. In 1876, Victor Nikiforov is a handsome duke with an inventive imagination and a dwindling fortune. The search for a wealthy bride brings him to America, and the capital of progress, New York City. Can an encounter with a mysterious stranger offer Victor a future he never dreamed of?

Meanwhile in 2017, physicist turned paper-pusher Yuuri Katsuki is just trying to get through the day, which is tough enough without surprise phone calls from his roommate announcing he has a 19th-century aristocrat out cold on their sofa.

To top things off, it would seem every elevator in Manhattan is suddenly out of order. What a coincidence.

Here Once and Back Again by Cbear2470 [E, 77K] *WIP *Major Character Death

“What?” was all Yuuri could say as a numbness froze over his body.

Something—something wasn’t right. It was then he realized he couldn’t remember getting to the rink. He couldn’t remember even stepping on the ice to start his program.

He couldn’t remember.

He tried to remember.

*

As Yuuri is skating his free skate, he knows something is off. But, he brushes it aside, too focused on executing the program flawlessly.

It isn't until after it's all over that Yuuri comes to discover that he just skated his gold-medal winning, record-breaking program at the 2014-15 Grand Prix Final in Sochi. The very same final Yuuri had once upon a time placed last in over two years ago.

here's to the glory still to be by @foxfireflamequeen [Not Rated, 12K]

“Hi,” says Viktor, smile bright and camera-ready. His hand, when he extends it, is small and delicate. “I think you know who I am, but we haven’t met.”

His accent is very thick, very Russian in a way Yuri has never heard before. He looks from the offered hand to Viktor’s face, barely an inch higher, and tracks his hair, long and pale and spilling over his shoulders. He can’t be older than, well, Yuri.

“No,” says Yuri. “We haven’t.”

in another dimension series by @alykapediaaa [T, 8K]

Summary of first fic in the series

Entertainment >> Celebrity News

Viktor Nikiforov: Finally Found!

SOMERSET – Russian model Viktor Nikiforov, 27, who has been declared missing last May of this year was finally found earlier today. Nikiforov, known as the face of luxury brand Stammi Vicino, was vacationing at Bath, Somerset after a successful season when he suddenly disappeared, leaving all of his belongings, as well as his poodle, behind. Yakov Feltsman, Nikiforov’s manager, has yet to release a statement. Read More.

Life Unwoven by ayn2390 [M, 23K] *Indefinite Hiatus

Five-Time Consecutive Grand Prix Final Winner Katsuki Yuuri meets Five-Time Consecutive Grand Prix Final Winner Victor Nikiforov.

or,

In which things are tangled, and untangled, and tangled again. And Victor will always be there to save Yuuri.

Maelstrom by @feels-like-fire [E, 44K]

Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.

(Or, the time loop au. Loosely based on Groundhog Day.)

On My Love by RikoJasmine [T, 73K] *WIP

For the second time, the Sochi Grand Prix Finals arrive, and with it a reborn Yuuri Katsuki. “Viktor,” Yuuri thinks over the pounding of his heart, the crowd going silent as the music begins. “I’ll show the world what you meant to me.”

Yuuri often thinks of his life as Before and After Viktor Nikiforov, the marking point being the day Viktor swept into his life and turned his world upside-down. After many years together, an accident leads to Yuuri suddenly waking up in the Before—back in Detroit, before the GPF, before he ever knew Viktor as anything other than his childhood idol.

As if it had all been just a dream.

paso doble by @cafecliche [G, 4K]

"Long before skating, or even ballet, Yuuri would hear about it at festivals, in the boiling humidity of Hasetsu summers dancing the Bon Odori in the streets. He remembered years where Mari would take him home alone, while their parents comforted lingering, distraught dancers. Sometimes, Mari had explained, they were crying because they’d seen lost loved ones. Some cried because they didn’t see who they’d hoped, but a stranger. And some cried because they hadn’t seen anyone at all.

Because it’s not just the steps. The dancers need, even for a second, to feel the exact same thing."

(Or: days before Hot Springs on Ice, Yuuri receives a visitor from another time.)

The League of the Green Carnation by @abarero [M, 62K]

There was one golden rule to being a Time Scientist: do not bring home anything that was a fixed point in history. This meant most artifacts, extinct animals and the like were permissible. Historical figures? Not so much.

But what about an author? Namely, Yuuri’s favorite author, who was murdered in 1887. Could he be saved?

Well. Yuuri was sure as hell about to find out.

Turn Back the Clock by IronScript [T, 59K] *WIP

When Yuuri and Viktor wake up over thirty years in the past, they don't know what to do. Does the other remember?

Luckily that particular question is quickly answered and they can relax slightly, but what about afterwards? Viktor was brought back to right before his first Olympics, and Yuuri isn’t even old enough to compete in Seniors’!

Then there's the fact that they're still very much in love, but a physical relationship would be illegal (and would gross them both out considering Yuuri's age), and they can't count on anyone to just trust them not to do anything age inappropriate. So maybe being long-distance (with as many in-person meetings as possible) would be better until Yuuri becomes a legal adult physically, never mind his actual age.

But it's hard to behave and act naturally when you're forced to be apart from your husband of twenty years, especially during one of the most stressful parts of anyone's life, so Yuuri and Viktor have to distract themselves somehow, right?

Right.

And if everyone around them ends up completely confused and blindsided at their sudden changes (though admittedly they seem to have changed for the better), then so be it!

[bqstqnbruin]

From the ground up

Alright y’all, a little switch up from the normally scheduled 10 things programming. But this is 8 pages of fluff that was requested based on the Dan + Shay song From the Ground Up.

This is also very inspired by my grandparents who knew each other for 85 years, were married for 66, had 4 children, 13 grandchildren, and currently 10 great grandchildren, so here’s also their story, but it fits with the song, so why not?

Hope you like it! ______________________

Five Years Old

The snow was falling, all the neighborhood boys were gathering in his front yard to start playing. You two had always been friends, meeting when you were three years old and in the same preschool class. You watched from your bedroom window as the boys started throwing snowballs at each other, something you loved doing with your younger brother. You put on all the winter clothing you can find, running downstairs to beg your mom to go across the street to the Jost’s house to play with the boys. 

“Have fun sweetie!” your mom calls once you finally wear her down and convince her that you’ll come in as soon as she calls you in for dinner.

Running as fast as your legs can carry you, more and more children aggregating in their yard, it was an all out war between the guys and girls, snowballs flying. The girls were getting pelted, you coming in and throwing snowballs left and right at any boy who stood in your way. One by one, they surrender, until you were the last one standing. You were the almighty five year old, the winner of the snowball fight. 

Someone taps you on the shoulder. You turn around to see who it is only to be met with a snowball to the face. The boys around you were laughing as Tyson stood in front of you with a smirk. You wipe the snow off, staring at him for a minute while the girls stayed silent behind you. The snow was still following, a crown of water droplets forming on around his face as the melted snow clinged to his hair. It wasn’t a crush yet, because you didn’t know what that was. But it was something. 

The next thing you know, you’ve tackled him down in the snow, grabbing some off the ground and shoving it back in his face. The kids gather around the two of you, watching Tyson struggle to push you off of him, not succeeding until you hear your mom calling your name from across the street.

“Bye, Tyson!” you jump up, running back inside, leaving all the rest of the kids standing there, looking at Tyson’s wet hair, cold red face, and snow covered back while he watched you run and disappear behind your front door. 

 Seventeen Years Old

“What do you mean that’s when you knew?” you ask him, his laugh coming through the other end of the phone.

“Any girl who wasn’t afraid of beating up a guy who was bigger than her and actually does it well is the girl for me,” he says, referencing the snowball fight all those years ago. “You didn’t care what other guys thought of you: you got hit unfairly and I paid the consequence.”

“Well, yeah, you think I was going to let you get away with that? Also, we were the same size, you were pretty small then” you tease him. “It’s so corny that you fell in love with me when we were five years old.”

“What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic when it comes to you,” he says, “There’s no one who I would want to be with other than you. The distance thing doesn’t even seem like it’s going to be bad knowing that you’re the one I’m doing it with.”

You feel your insides flutter at his words, wishing that he was there with you now. You two had been together for as long as your moms let you date, spending every moment together that you could. He was your best friend first, your boyfriend second, your forever third. “How are you feeling about going to North Dakota in a few months?” you ask him.

He lets out a long, slightly shaky sigh, “Excited? Nervous?” he tells you, his voice going up at the end of each, “Terrified.” 

“It’s a new experience, that’s natural,” you try to reassure him. “You’ve never really done this sort of thing before.”

“Aren’t you nervous about going all the way to Massachusetts?” 

Part of you was, part of you wasn’t. You were scared to be away from Tyson, but part of you knew that you would always find your way back to each other, even with the distance between Chestnut Hill and Grand Forks. “About being that far away from home? No, not really.”

“What about being that far away from me?” you hear him squeak out on the other end, barely loud enough for you to really hear the pain that was in his voice.

“I’m not nervous,” you whisper, wishing you could be there with him to physically comfort him, “We’re going to be just fine.”

“How do you know?”

You take a deep breath, knowing that he was going to cry a little if he weren’t already. “We have been best friends since I beat you up that day. No matter what, you’re going to be my best friend. No matter what, I’m going to love you. I don’t care if you’re at UND and I’m at BC. You could go to Sweden and I could end up in New Zealand and I will still always love you.”

You hear him laugh a little, a sniffle followed immediately after. You didn’t need to see his face to know that his nose was red, the goofy grin of his trying to hide the fear that would surely be covering his face. 

“Hey, meet me by the gazebo in thirty minutes, ok?” he finally says after what felt like forever sitting there in silence.

“Sure,” you tell him, your phone beeping as a signal that he had hung up. You had no idea what he had planned, but you did as you were told, grabbing your jacket and making your way to meet Tyson. You get there to find him pacing back and forth under the moonlight that was shining down on him. “Hey, babe,” you say, him pulling you in tight for a kiss. 

Even though it was summer, the night time brought a cool breeze that sent a shiver through your body even with the jacket on. Tyson takes off his jacket, his favorite one with his name on his back, handing it to you, a smile on his face as he watched you pull it over your head. “So, what are we doing here?”

“This is going to sound crazy,” he starts, knowing that would concern you a little, “but hear me out first. You’re confident that we’ll stay together even being in North Dakota and Massachusetts, but I want to put in stone. Or, I guess, wood,” he says, gesturing to the gazebo. 

“What are you talking about?”

“People carve their initials in the wood here all the time. Why don’t we do that, too?” 

You smile at him, bending down next to him to watch him carve TJ + YFI/YLI enclosed in a crude heart, next to others that had looked like they had been there for years. “I wonder who all these people are?” you ask, carefully tracing your finger over one that said MR+MD. “I wonder if they’re all still together.”

“Don’t matter,” Tyson shrugs, looking at the way the moonlight dances off your skin, “We’re still together, and I have a feeling we’re going to last.” 

 Eighteen Years Old

Tyson had no idea you would be there. The College Hockey Showdown was that weekend at Madison Square Garden, the Boston College Eagles playing against the North Dakota Fighting Eagles. One of your roommates was from a small town in southern Connecticut, half an hour outside of the city, so you convinced her to go with you and spend the weekend down there instead of driving the four hours back to Chestnut Hill after the game. 

“So, which one is he?” Julie asks as the guys skated onto the ice. 

You were in the only section that led you to be surrounded by a sea of maroon and gold, feeling weirdly out of place not wearing team colors but the jacket Tyson gave you that night at the gazebo, which you ended up stealing from him, instead. “Number 17, the curly-haired one,” you point to him as he talks with one of his teammates, his helmet off, making it much easier to see his face.

Tyson had been telling you how nervous the team was about this game: Brock was injured, Trevor was two days shy of a 730 day scoring drought, and the team hadn’t beaten Boston College in 11 years. Not to mention, UND and BC were the two winningest college programs since the 06-07 season, UND having a slight edge over BC, putting that much more pressure on the guys to win this game to help make the gap a little wider. Tyson only rambled off stats about the other team when he was worried about a game against them. It was the first time you would ever be rooting against the college team you had come to love, and only because it involved the boy you love. 

“Does he know you’re here?” she asks you, trying to figure out why he wasn’t looking up in the stands for you. When you shake your head no, she picks you up out of your seat, annoying the other Boston College fans while the ones behind you got a good look at the four letters scrawled across your back. “Tyson!” she starts screaming, shaking you in hopes that you would join in with her.

You roll your eyes, knowing that he would be able to hear his name being called once you joined in. You were waiting to see the look on his face when he finally realized you were at the game, so you scream along with her. He hears his name, confused as to where it’s coming from. He looks around the arena, taking what felt like forever to find you. His jaw drops when he sees you, a smile on his face as he frantically waves back at you. He nudges his teammate next to him, pointing up to you. You couldn’t tell what he was saying, but from the joy that covered his face he was excited that you would get to see him play. 

The first period goes by, no scoring, not much of anything. The second period was starting, and the blank score on both sides was making you nervous. One of Tyson’s teammates passed him the puck, Tyson taking the opportunity to shoot and scoring his sixth goal of the year. The Garden went crazy, you and Julie the only two in the small section of Boston College fans joining most of the crowd, Tyson pointing right up to you when he skated to the bench. UND went on the power play, his teammate passing him the puck again. At the dot, he fired it past the BC goalie, putting his team up 2-0.

You were overjoyed by Tyson’s game, getting to see him be named first star of the game that UND won 4-3. You manage to sneak your way down to where the boys are, Tyson somehow convincing someone who worked there to let you in once you gave them your name. You saw Tyson giving an interview, the guys passing by him and patting him on the shoulders while he talked. You didn’t hear what they asked him, but you could help but admire him. “That’s part of hockey. There’s going to be momentum swings. We really had to bounce back, but that just shows our character in our team. We’re all warriors in there and I think we proved it tonight.”

The reporter leaves, Tyson turning towards him. He was sweaty, disgusting, smelly, and all of that combined wasn’t enough to stop you from running into his arms as he picked you up in his arms and kissed you for the first time since the day you left. “I can’t believe you’re here!” he practically screams when he puts you down, kissing you again. 

“I wanted to surprise you,” you tell him as he goes on about how excited he was that you were there. 

“I think you’re a good luck charm,” he says, leading you out of the way from some of the other guys walking around the hallway and plopping you down on the floor. “Hey, I’ve been thinking,” he starts, his voice shaking.

You knew he was nervous by the sound of his voice. You gently squeeze his hand, the smile on his face growing bigger, “Yeah?”

“When you graduate, wherever I’m playing, or even if I’m not, I wanna be living with you.”

“Are you asking me to move in with you after graduation?” you ask him, his sweaty curls moving with his head. “You think we’ll still be together in three and a half years?” 

He swallows, looking down at your hands intertwined, sitting on his thigh, “I can’t imagine my life any other way. It’s written on the ground of the gazebo.” 

 Twenty Two Years Old

You and Tyson were going home for the wedding of one of your cousins. You had been living together for a year now in Colorado, Tyson enjoying his fourth season in the league.

“Hey, can we make a quick pit stop before we head to the reception?” Tyson asks you when you get into the car. Your cousins, Lisa and Brendan get in the back seat, Tyson being deemed the designated driver for the night. You swear you see them smile at each other before looking back at the two of you.

“Yeah, sure, is that alright with you guys?” you ask them, making eye contact through the rearview mirror. They both nod, the four of you talking about the ceremony the entire way to wherever Tyson was taking you. His hands were shaking like he was nervous.

You pull into the park that was down the street from where you grew up. “Come on,” he says, rushing around the car to open the door for you and drag you through the grounds. Lisa and Brendan follow, keeping their distance as Tyson sprinted towards the gazebo. 

“We haven’t been here since that night before we left for college,” you observe, looking out over the water that surrounded part of the structure. “Do you think our initials are still here?” you ask him, turning around to find him already on the ground. 

“Yeah, right here,” he says, tracing his finger over your initials. He reaches up to pull you down next to him. “Did I ever tell you that my mom's best friend carved hers and her boyfriend's initials here, too?” 

“No, do you know which one’s they are?”

He points to the ones by your knees, the same ones you had admired the night Tyson carved you there, MR and MD. “Matthias and Marianne. They’re probably the happiest couple I’ve ever seen.” 

You stand back up, not wanting so much of your dress to be on the ground. You look for Lisa and Brendan, who are nowhere in sight. “Hey, where did-” you start, only to be cut off but what you saw in front of you. 

Tyson shifted himself to one knee, a small box in his hands with the most gorgeous ring you had ever seen. “I know it’s kind of shitty to be doing this the day of someone else's wedding, but this is the only time I knew we would be here where we first promised to be with each other forever,” he says. You can feel tears welling up in your eyes, suddenly thankful that you had brought makeup with you in your bag for touch ups. “You told me that night that no matter where in the world we were, we would always be together. I want to be together forever. I want to grow old with you, have a family with you, be the father to your children that I never got and be the man your dad always wanted you to end up with. I want to hold you close, protect you, love you. I want to be your husband. Y/N, will you marry me?” he asks, the tears falling down your face. 

You shake your head yes, unable to let out more than a happy sob as he slips the ring on your finger, finally hearing Lisa and Brendan screaming as you take Tysons face in your hands and kiss him. 

 Twenty Four Years Old

You stood in the pink room, trying to rock your little girl to sleep. Tyson should be home at any minute from the road trip, but Viviana had been fussy the entire day. All you wanted was for her to go to sleep so you could go to sleep.

“I’m home,” you hear Tyson call from the doorway of your house, praying that he doesn’t come in yelling while you cradle your ten-month-old daughter in your arms. He appears in the doorway to her room, dropping his bag and tip-toeing up to you. He rubs your arms, kissing you on the cheek before pulling you close to him. He rests his chin on your shoulder, looking down at Viviana. “Can you believe how big she’s gotten?” he whispers to you as she finally nods off to sleep. 

You lay her down in her crib, Tyson standing back and admiring how gentle you were with her. He hugs you from behind again, the two of you taking a moment to just look at your daughter. You lead him out of the room, closing her door carefully. “She is so beautiful,” you gush about your daughter even though she was the reason you were perpetually exhuasted.

Tyson hugs you, finally getting the chance to kiss you hello. “She takes after you. The room, though, is very pink.” You can’t help but laugh at the same observation he makes whenever he goes into her room. As soon as you found out you were having a girl, Tyson went overboard, buying every dress he could, little bows, cute socks, anything that looked like it was made for a girl, regardless of color or if it actually conformed to the gender construct, he bought, or convinced his teammates to buy for him so you couldn’t get mad at him for coming home with yet another Avalanche related baby item. 

  “I was nine months pregnant when you painted that, you know it’s your fault.” The two of you go to your own bedroom, you ready to crawl in bed even though it was the middle of the afternoon. “If she wakes up, can you take care of her?” you ask him, climbing under the sheets. 

“Yeah, but before you go to sleep, I think we need to talk.” You look at him, knowing that sentence typically comes with bad news, but Tyson’s face said otherwise. “I know Viviana isn’t even a year old yet, and I know we said we would wait until she was, but I think I’m ready to try for another kid now,” he says, “Only if you are, too, of course.” 

You look away from him, a picture of you and him looking down at Viviana right after she was born sitting in the frame on your bedside table. You knew Tyson wanted a big family, you wanted one with him. It was an easy decision: “Can we wait until after I get some sleep?” 

The smile on his face grows, excited that you were going to be trying for a bigger family. He plants a soft, sweet kiss on your head as you gently fall to sleep.

 Thirty Four Years Old

“Viviana Abigale, come down here!” you call to the birthday girl as your friends and family started showing up at your house. “Tyson, I think Cale and Gabe are here,” you say to your husband, hearing voices of his teammates carrying through your house indicating that Tyson had left the front door open for anyone to just walk in. 

You hear your kids running through the house, three sets of feet pounding against the floor as everyone started to show up with gifts and more food. 

It was Vivi’s tenth birthday, and Tyson insisted that you have a party to celebrate your oldest child turning double-digits. Part of you thought he just wanted to show off the house now that it was finally put back together after you had it redone, but he did more of the work in preparing. You were worried that would mean having a similar party with Alexander turned ten in two years, or when Jimmy did in four. Anything to have a party to celebrate your family, Tyson was the first to suggest you make it happen. 

Soon, your house and yard were filled with everyone you loved, laughing, eating, the kids playing. You watched as Alexander chased Jimmy with one of the hockey sticks Tyson’s mom had kept from when he was little. Tyson must have seen the anxious look on your face, “Don’t worry, he won’t do anything. Alexander is harmless.” You both laugh as he hands you a glass of wine, you swirling around in the glass instead of taking a sip. 

“Want to go inside?” you ask him, taking his hand. You set the class down on the counter, Tyson showing a look of confusion by the untouched glass. You lead him to the wall underneath the stairs, looking at all the pictures that were there. The latest school pictures of your three children, a picture of you and Tyson on your wedding day, a picture of the two of you that your mom took when you went to the school dance together when you were in your first year of high school. “God, do you remember that night?”

“I only remember what I was wearing because of that picture and that I wanted to dance only with you,” he says, wrapping his arms around you.

“You were fourteen, there’s no way that’s what you were thinking of,” you tease him. “You danced with me once that night and spent the rest of the night leaning against the wall with the rest of the boys.”

“I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of you!” he argues back, his face turning red with the embarrassment he didn’t want.

You laugh, giving him a quick kiss, “I beat you up when we were five. Nothing you could do in front of me could be more embarrassing than that.” 

The two of you stand there for a little while longer, staring at the pictures that were on the wall of your family. “Hey, Tys?”

“Yeah?”

“When we first got married, how many kids did you think we would have?” 

He stops and thinks, knowing that he never explicitly told you, letting you decide how many you ultimately had. “I always wanted four.”

“Are you mad that we only have three?”

He looks at you. “Mad? Of course not.” How could he be mad that you gave him the three most beautiful children he could have asked for. They looked more like you than they did like him, but they definitely had his childish antics down to a t. 

“Would you be mad if we had a fourth?”

“Again, of course not,” he says, confused by what you were trying to say. You smile at him, it finally clicking. “You’re-?” he starts, unable to figure out how to express his joy with words. You nod, him pulling you in for a tight hug. “Holy shit!” he screams, “Holy shit, are you serious?”

“There are children, Tys!” you say, laughing as you cover his mouth. 

“We’re having another kid,” he says, his eyes lighting up. 

“We’re having another kid.”

 Fifty One Years Old

“Lucas!” you call to your youngest son, knowing he was the only other person in the house with you. You were trying to make dinner, one of Tyson’s favorite meals for his birthday.

“Yeah, Mom?” your sixteen year old says, not looking up from his phone as he walks into the kitchen.

Your hands were covered with raw meat, mixing everything up to prepare the stuffed burgers. “Can you run to the store and get me another onion?”

Lucas groans, in a typical teenage fashion. “Dad is already at the store getting you basil, can’t you just call him to get it?”

“No, because this is his phone,” you tell him, hitting the screen with your elbow so it doesn’t lock on you since that’s where the recipe is. “And it was parsley. The keys are by the door, there’s cash in my wallet, and yes I expect the receipt and know how much I had to start with,” you say to him.

He rolls his eyes at you, leaving for the store anyway. Lucas drives to the store, muttering to himself that you would send him out when Dad was already there. He laughs as he pulls in next to Dad’s car, knowing that he was bound to run into him while he was there. He wanders through the store, not looking for the onion in the slightest in hopes to find his father and tell him to get it so he can get home and go back to the game he was on with his friends. 

Lucas finds Tyson in the spice aisle, standing there with two small bottles in his hands, one parsley, one basil. “She wanted parsley,” he says, startling his dad. 

“I couldn’t remember what she said, so thank god you came,” he says, putting the basil back. “What did she send you to get?”

“An onion.” The two of them walk through the store, back to the produce that Lucas had already passed in hopes of getting out of there faster. “Hey, Dad?”

“Yeah, bud?” he asks, examining the pile of onions as he tried to figure out which one would be the one his wife would pick. 

“Mom has already sent you here four times this week, and now me twice. Why do you put up with it?” he asks, clearly annoyed.

Tyson laughs, picking up one of the onions and heading to check out. “I would do anything for her, no matter how ridiculous or how many times she asks me to do it.” He looks at his youngest son, the only one who looked more like him than you, “One day, hopefully, you’re going to find someone who you love more than anything on this Earth, and you would do anything in the world to make sure that they stay happy. This is part of what keeps your mother happy, so how could I not do it?”

 Eighty Eight Years Old

You look around from the head table, Tyson’s hand in yours as your entire family has overtaken the restaurant. Viviana and her husband had picked you up at your house, telling you that she was taking out to her home for an anniversary dinner. You were instead taken to your favorite restaurant, greeted but your children, your grandchildren, your brother and his family, Kacey and her family, everyone you cared about.

You sit there, listening to your children and some of your grandchildren talk about what it means to be in love. “Dad would drop everything if Mom asked him to do something. There was nothing too ridiculous that she could ask of him.”

“Growing up, it was the stolen looks, Dad looking at Mom with love filling his eyes and her not noticing, or Mom doing the same to Dad, neither of them ever looking at the same time.”

“Look around at everyone here: love between two people creates love between more. We wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you.” 

Sixty five years.

Four children.

Thirteen grandchildren.

Currently five great grandchildren, two more on the way in a few months.

The perfect life, the perfect husband. 

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

(part seven)

Part one. Masterlist!

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Yuri's POV*

(Next week)

A week had passed by in a rather slow pace. Yuri's recovery seemed to never end when it had just been a few days. But those days were spent sleeping and eating, using his phone and sleeping some more. Mostly he had no one to talk to since everyone were busy with their own lives. Especially (Y/n) who had to keep her inner performer alive at all times. Her coach came with the idea of hosting a smaller gig where (Y/n) would perform about two or three numbers for the people of Japan. It was planned out as a small nightclub gig at first but the numbers of interested in Japan rose over the charts and well... (Y/n) said that she didn't want to let anyone down. Though her coach was apparently hesitant into taking more than a hundred people. 'Three numbers are too little for a concert.' They said but the people of Japan insisted on paying for the price a concert ticket anyway.

(Y/n) had told him this two days after his fever started. He remembered it made him scoff at how she decided the ticket would only cost a quarter of what a normal concert ticket would then. He had told her it was a ridiculous way of thinking.

He barely saw her after the first day of his fever. The way Yuri had taken a hold of her hand and fallen asleep... She waited until he woke up. Well, not exactly waited. She fell asleep at the edge of his bed.

And since that, the two of you barely talked during the days. They barely even met before she went to bed because she spent every waking hour to practice her numbers with her backup dancers. She still made you breakfast when she head the time though.

Yuri's glad it would soon be over and he could go back to normal. Everyone had been attending to him like he was some child and he felt like a huge burden. He had told Victor that he wished (Y/n) especially wouldn't just dismiss his attempts at doing things on his own just because he couldn't get out of bed with single effort. 'Right, she told me about that! You fell on your face right after while trying, didn't you?' He had replied.

So... yeah... Yuri wanted things to return to normal real fast. Yakov had promised him that he would get to start his session with (Y/n) as soon as the music for the program was set. And that was what Victor had been helping him with a couple times. It was hard to find something he wanted to use. Everything felt overused and boring. Just another performance. Yuri didn't want it to pass as that. He wanted to stand out and earn his gold medal for real just as last year. Now was also really the year of improvement so the music had to be well thought through. He was certainly going to take advantage of having a coach for emotional performances with him this season as well. Meaning, his free skate program was already set to be something hurtful and strong. Not love, he already did that. Something far more serious. He wanted the audience to cry after his performance. Everyone should be bawling. Yakov, piglet, Victor and even (Y/n).

Most important of all, no one would be expecting him to do a program with such deep meaning. Because he was one to avoid it in the past.

His short program should be something upbeat and flashy. He wanted the choreography so intense that he'd be coughing up blood at the end of the performance, if that was possible. So the music had to make the pulse of the audience rise when hearing it. Meaning, the music would be in the rock genre. And he already had just the song for it.

This performance would show off his skills and flexibility as well as the importance of his stamina since the entire program would be non-stop step sequences and jumps throughout almost the entire music. Since he intended to be in better shape than ever before before the competition started, he felt no point in holding back on anything. If he played it safe, then what was the point?

"Ah! Good morning Yuri! I come bearing gifts!" Victor busted the door open with his foot and stumbled inside the room, balancing a tray in his hand. The tray was set down in front of him and Victor sat down at the end of Yuri's bed.

"Where's (Y/n)?" Yuri was truly surprised to see Victor being the one to bring you the breakfast today. It had been her until now. And he hadn't even seen as much as her face today since she left so early.

"Ouch. I'm replaced already? I can't go on knowing I'm not your favorite anymore, you know." Victor put a dramatic hand to his forehead and fell backwards onto Yuri's legs. The tray with the breakfast threatened to tumble and Yuri made an effort to stabilize it. It was bacon and eggs with apple slices. A part of him felt a little sad that the slices weren't in the shape of stars...

"You were never my favorite, old man. And you didn't answer my question." Yuri picked up the fork and pointed it towards the man slopped unto the bed end. He ignored the sad pout he received and took a bite of the apple cut into pieces. Each slice were to large and it didn't even taste the same even though they were of the same apples like yesterday. The eggs were decent and the bacon slightly undercooked. Victor's efforts to cook for the household during the day were appreciated of course. But there was no wonder why (Y/n) stood for the head of the dinner at days when her schedule wasn't as crazy.

"She's practicing like mad. Called her dancers to say that she would be starting a few hours ahead of time because she got an energy boost. She wants the show to be at her best efforts possible."

"I haven't even seen her today. How can she practice like a maniac when she's probably already learned her numbers flawlessly?"

Victor was watching Yuri with a funny look. Probably wondering where all those questions came from.

"I think the show is a way for her to relax."

Say what? Going out of bed before sunrise and coming back from practice just mere hours before midnight could never be considered relaxation. Yuri would never be able to pull that off. That was an insane view of the word relaxing, definitely.

"The steam and demands from her competition in We are voice are currently lifted off her shoulders like heavy weights, you know. This is probably just fun to her. She doesn't have to compete with anyone. I think it gives her a sense of relief."

Yuri stopped eating and thought a little extra on what Victor said.

Yes. She was always stressed in every video where a fan or a nosy reporter came out of nowhere and started recording. Yuri had seen those videos. Especially the one where the random person happened to record the exact moment her mind broke down and she had a breakdown in front of a large crowd. Now there was no denying that Yuri sees (Y/n) as the most weirdest and ridiculous being alive. The way she is so determined to get her way and how much she cares for strangers she's never met. Yuri kind of still consider the two of them to be strangers, even after two weeks being with each other on a daily basis. Her eyes are also too intense for anyone to be up close with to her face and as if that wasn't enough, she's also a morning person and that's already a big warning sign to stay away from a person.

But even though he had had this mental conversation with him many times. Even though he agreed that he disliked her; he couldn't help but being captivated by her performances.

It felt so weird seeing her cry like that just minutes before her performance and then watching her going on stage having the time of her life. There was no doubt she loved her fans and performing on stage but that was one of those moments where Yuri really got to see the mind behind the happy smile. It was the first time he had seen her crying or feeling a negative emotion. It's still the first but he got a taste of her irritated self not so long ago.

It made Yuri think about her performance that day. It was a remarkable song filled with sheerness and excitement and her eyes were still wet with tears as she got up on stage.

"Remember (Y/n) performing 'Animal' during the acappella collaboration sequence?"

"Yes! One of my favorites. She was so happy on stage that day." While it had been true that she found happiness, it's not to ignore how broken she felt right before. 'Animal' by Neon Trees (A/N: listen to the Glee version of the song for the best acapella dynamic!) Was one of (Y/n)'s best performances, according to Yuri. He had watched it on repeat just this morning. There's really nothing special to the song in itself. It was the way she delivered every word and tune with such bravery after her internal battle like that. Her emotional response has always been on point but this particular song was something completely real and touching with her tears glistening in the corner of her eyes the entire performance. The tears of sadness had been replaced with joy and she had genuinely just been having a great time with the acapella group at her side, cheering and jumping around on stage with stars in her eyes.

'Oh, oh

I want some more

Oh, oh

What are you waiting for?

Say goodbye to my heart tonight'

The chorus were always his favorite part. Maybe it was the interpretation of the love-hate relationship the words of the lyrics intended. (Y/n) was belting out 'what are you waiting for' with such passion even though it was hardly a difficult song to perform.

'Here we are again

I feel the chemicals kickin' in

It's gettin' heavier and

I wanna run and hide

I wanna run and hide'

The short verse got him every time. The way her eyes watered at the end and then were immediately blown away by the chorus once again. The way she let go of her sadness and let her happy thoughts consume her. No, she let the song consume her and gave the song a completely different touch never done before.

Yuri had lost count of the time he'd watched it and he knew the choreography and song in and out by now. It was mainly intended for the purpose of studying her expression and getting some kind of inspiration for his music choice. He wanted his theme of his music choice for the free skate program to be 'to let go'. If there's any theme harder than love, then it's letting go of the thing you love. And not just what you love. Letting go to be able to love as well. Whether it's love for yourself or another person. There are countless interpretations and that's what (Y/n) had performed that day, with no intention whatever of doing it in such a way.

"I have... I have chosen the music for my program. At the inspiration of t-that performance."

Now don't get Yuri wrong. He'd never admit it to anyone that (Y/n) had been an inspiration to his free skate. He would probably had figured out the idea anyway, it would just had taken a little longer. And her performance was his own way to interpret it so he'd been the one to come up with the decision anyway. So in a way, she didn't have anything to do with it. And his choice of song would be far more intense and heartbreaking than anything Neon Trees could produce. And so Yuri told Victor about his music choices even though he had no clue why he put that kind of trust into the man.

"Those are some really clever choices when combined with your own vision. I'm almost a little jealous. Maybe I should just hire (Y/n) as my coach myself. It seems like it did wonders for you already!" The man laughed and patted Yuri on the shoulder.

"Nonsense. She hasn't began coaching me yet. She had no part in this." Yuri pushed away the empty tray to make room for sitting up and crossing his legs.

"Oh, but it seems like you learned a lot by ogling her all day long though." The smirk Yuri received made his teeth grit and his ears flush.

"I-i wasn't ogling her!"

"Then what were you doing exactly? I heard 'Animal' playing for a good 30 minutes from the wall connected to the room beside yours." Victor laughed at the startled freeze of The Russian Punk.

Okay fine. Maybe he went overboard with the video. But a new problem had seemed to appear now as he admitted defeat.

Yuri now had a witness that would have to be taken care of somehow. He leaned forwards and gripped the collar of Victor's shirt in a tight fist. The glare of daggers shot forwards onto the smiling man.

"Tell anyone about it and you're gonna have to reconstruct that pretty nose of yours. That's a promise,not a threat."

"Trust me! You won't hear a peep!"

[virtchandmoir]

HUBBELL AND DONOHUE COMPOSE A HALLELUJAH

January 11, 2021

Madison Hubbell and Zach Donohue have hit a sort of “Hallelujah” trifecta. Certainly they’re the first team to marry skating’s favorite versions of the Leonard Cohen composition—those of Jeff Buckley and k.d. lang—in a single program, and the first to present two separate programs to the song. And more than this, they tapped a choreographer who skated to it himself: Scott Moir, who in 2012-13 used Buckley’s version for an exhibition with partner Tessa Virtue.

The Buckley connection, though, was purely fortuitous. Last season, a year after his retirement from competition, Moir offered his first choreographic insights to former training mates Hubbell and Donohue, adding some input on a program they’d already forged with coach Marie-France Dubreuil.

The plan was always for more, given a special connection between Moir and Donohue, who first shared training space in the 2010-11 season, in Canton, Michigan, when Donohue was paired with Alissandra Aronow and Moir and Virtue had an unusual season including surgery for her and an overdue return to competition. The bond grew years later in Montreal, with Virtue and Moir training there from 2016 through 2018.

“They had something unique, where I think a lot of us train hard, we all have a very supportive quality within the school, but Zach and Scott were able to push each other a little bit, almost challenge each other to be pushing harder or motivating each other in a little bit different way,” said Hubbell. “So I think that kind of started the spark that was like, maybe this would work and maybe this would be a good addition. You know, I connect a lot with Marie in choreography and we have a lot of amazing people here, but I think that Zach was able to find a different part of himself working with Scott, and the coaches were able to see that that would be a good combination.”

Timing, however, was trickier. “It turns out that when you’re one of the most decorated skaters of all time, you got some stuff to do, so he was hard to nail down,” said Hubbell. “So I think that actually, this really strange year, where everything was on pause, was a big blessing for us because it gave Scott a lot of time that maybe he would have otherwise been using to tour or go to competitions with his own students.”

The team estimated that they’ve worked with Moir about five times now, including for four days in mid-December a week before our conversation. “It’s pretty amazing, but he always watches our competitions and gives us feedback,” said Donohue. “And he’s in close communication with Marie, so he comes in with a pretty solid plan every time. And we’re just able to breathe a little bit of life into transitions that we thought we understood and get a deeper understanding of them, another energy, a little bit more of a connection to each other within that music. And we both feel the music so well, sometimes it’s easy to get lost in it ourselves, so it’s nice to have him there to kind of give us those focus points on how we can really bring everyone into our story.”

Moir’s recent competitive experience is a boon, noted Donohue, and so too his ability in retirement to focus more on process than results. “From my standpoint of having trained with him and always only seeing the push and the drive and the intensity that is Scott Moir, it’s really interesting to see the way his mind works and the details,” he said. “The way he thinks about starting and finishing a movement, why that movement registers to him, why certain ones work and why others don’t, why they can seem disingenuous. To be able to pinpoint what it is, no, there’s no way, and even if I could, to be honest, I wouldn’t put it out there, because that’s his thing. It’s not for me to share.”

“I was surprised at his specificity,” said Hubbell. “Even now, when he was here, you know, we have the whole program set, but we might spend the entire two-hour lesson with him on one little 10-second transition, because he was very dialed into these moments that he wanted a certain way. There was no rush to get there at a certain point—he was going to spend as much time as needed to get the result that he wanted.”

But that attention to detail was also critical for the team. “That’s part of, I think, why we’re able to feel so comfortable in the piece as well,” she concluded. “Like, there aren’t any sticky moments, there aren’t things that are up in the air or like, oh, this isn’t comfortable, but just push through because it looks fine.”

Moir’s other priority has been keying in on the team’s assets. “Really committing to the fact that if we stay true to what we’re good at and what we like to perform, that that would be enough, and we don’t have to necessarily try to attain all the things from each team or be the best at everything,” said Hubbell. “We have to be the best at what we are.”

And what that is, they’ve determined, is something Moir knows a bit about: the basics. “We love stroking, we love footwork, we love edge quality more than any flashy tricks or more acrobatic moments,” she continued. “We like the human connection of looking each other in the eyes and the simplicity that can come from something that looks simple, but really isn’t simple to execute.”

The free dance made its full public debut in October, via an at-home video performance submitted to U.S. Figure Skating’s International Selection Pool Points Challenge—a new event introduced to allow elite skaters a competitive opportunity in the wake of COVID-related event cancellations. Its only traditional outing so far came at late October’s Skate America, before a live audience of judges, tech panelists, and whimsical cardboard cutouts of fans, pets, and the GEICO Gecko®. Any subsequent outside feedback has also come long-distance—thanks to video submissions to judges and the federation—but despite the uncertainties of the season beyond the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, the team has found ways to stay focused.

“I’d say that staying motivated, at least for myself, has been pretty easy because first, we chose programs that we both really enjoy performing, and second, that we really connect to,” said Donohue. “And then on top of that, we have some of our closest competition here with us. So I think that’s a pretty fortunate situation for us.”

“And especially working with an outside choreographer has helped, I think, kind of put almost competition dates in our mind,” added Hubbell. “It’s almost like those little milestones where it’s like, okay, we know Scott will come back in a month and a half and he’s left us with these projects, and now let’s develop those. And then we get feedback from him.”

The open schedule has, in its way, taught patience. “There were some moments in there that maybe the choreography was a new feeling for us, and instead of having to make it work or simplify something because a competition was coming, we were just able to really commit to the project,” she continued. “And things have remained relatively stable, which is actually, I think, better in the long term for the development of the program.”

***

There’s another bond involved here—that between Hubbell, Donohue, and “Hallelujah,” a connection they’ve discussed since first using lang’s rendition for their short dance in the 2015-16 season. It’s a song closely tied to the early days of their partnership, when Donohue would sing the piece to Hubbell to ease her nerves. In the strangeness of this year’s off-ice off-season, coach Patrice Lauzon suggested the team choose a piece for their free dance that felt like home for them, or a concept that felt underexplored. The answer—including the choice this time of Buckley—was obvious.

“I think we feel like we never really got to fully experience what ‘Hallelujah’ was or could have been because it was missing the feeling that we get… I mean, any time we’d be in the car on a road trip, we’d play one, we’d talk about the other,” said Donohue. “Play the other one, we’d talk about the other one. I mean, they were always kind of synonymous with each other because of the balance of what they brought to the other piece.”

Lang’s version, with a more pronounced 6/8 beat and warmer arrangement, was the more obvious choice for a short dance pairing a Ravensburger Waltz and march. “And it was a good time, I think, in our career, the first year of coming to these new coaches, to explore the more hopeful and outward expression of ‘Hallelujah,’” said Hubbell. But the free was another story. “We knew that the Jeff Buckley version was very important to our relationship. And the Jeff version is Zach for me—like, that is him personified. So it definitely wasn’t going to be the right program without it.”

Dubreuil asked the couple which elements of each song they most wanted to utilize, and she, Moir, and music editor Hugo Chouinard took command of the final arrangement, while Karl Hugo composed a bridging piece to connect the two versions. The full edit has remained untouched since its creation—an unusual situation for elite ice dancers in general, and particularly for Hubbell and Donohue.

“We’re usually the ones nitpicking here and there,” said Hubbell. “And I think she knew that we were so attached to this song that even talking the first time, it was like, which parts do you like? And I was like, well, I like this verse and this verse, and I definitely want to use this verse. I think she knew that she had to take an outsider’s approach. Definitely there are verses that I am very attached to myself that aren’t in that song, and I just carry that energy into the music, even though the words aren’t there.”

Musically, Buckley’s version in particular can be challenging for a skater, incorporating unusual rhythmic moments and spare instrumental backing, while the soaring vocal line and steady pace of lang’s version demands creativity to avoid any obvious choices. An inability to choreograph on ice until after the song’s final edit disrupted the team’s typical hands-on approach to working through music, elements, and layout as an ongoing process.

“Twizzles, for example, was a part where we had a completely different feeling of where it should start, and Marie said something like, ‘oh, we should start it on this music,’ and we were like—” Hubbell offered a dubious expression. “’Not sure, that seems like the weirdest accent to start.’ And then we tried it, and it was like, wow.” So too, she said, with the choreographic sliding move that closes the program.

The outcome has been a program with each element custom-set to the music, intricately woven with even the subtlest accents—even if it means scrapping planned work. “We had a lift in mind that we wanted to put in, and we’ve been working on it throughout the season,” she continued. “And as cool as the lift is, it doesn’t seem to fit. It’s like too dynamic for the quietness of the music, so I think it goes into the log for another year.”

“Hallelujah” itself is often custom-modified by its interpreters. Leonard Cohen claimed to have composed around 80 verses for the song, shifting lines in and out in live performance and giving future artists an opening to craft the story they most wish to emphasize. Hubbell and Donohue similarly prefer to leave their own program open to viewer interpretation.

“We chose it because it’s something very personal and it’s very home for us, and even in the creation of the program with Scott, he never asked to go too far into that bubble,” said Hubbell. But for the team, the messages conveyed by Buckley and lang transcend words.

“[Buckley] has this kind of broken vulnerability about him,” said Donohue. “Like, you hear his voice, and you just kind of don’t move. Even the way he just exhales in the very beginning of the music—we didn’t cut that out because we really felt like it set the tone for what he was feeling and the way he was expressing the lyrics.”

Hubbell finds in Buckley’s rendition a sense of loss, “a painful kind of plea,” whereas lang’s version offers a sense of catharsis. “Jeff’s, each verse, you just feel a little bit more broken inside, a little bit more empty,” she said. “It’s part of why we put Jeff at the beginning, because we felt like we needed to build to a moment of, okay, everything is going to be okay. We all go through this, and there’s light on the other side.”

And then there’s the sense of subject matter—the interpretations of “Hallelujah,” of course, ranging from the spiritual to the sensual.

Of Buckley’s, Hubbell noted, “there’s an intimate, more of a human quality, where I feel like he’s singing about someone or about a lover. There are moments in that song where it feels so much more of a human to human connection. And then k.d.’s, where it really feels ethereal. It feels like she’s singing to God, it feels like she’s asking for some help or some guidance from something that is not understood.”

And while Hubbell and Donohue’s free dance is the merging of two musical perspectives, it’s good to remember that so, too, is its design—Moir joined by the veteran Dubreuil.

“For me,” said Hubbell, “working with them and doing their choreography, it’s like Scott is the Jeff Buckley version and Marie-France is the k.d. lang version. Scott has this grounded, very real—like, there’s no faking the emotion, there’s no contrived story, there’s just real connection, intimacy. You know, just that kind of earthy version that is Jeff Buckley. And working with Marie-France is a lot more giving, it’s a lot more bringing something to the audience that’s watching you, open and graceful and specifically very feminine.”

It’s been said that “Hallelujah” is a song that didn’t quite find its own final form until transformed by new interpretations—first by John Cale, who inspired Jeff Buckley, the impact of whose version then, on some level, inspired many others that followed.

And while it’s easy to look at one team’s free dance as a revision, or perhaps addendum, to an earlier short, it’s more compelling to consider the idea of a genetic thread between interpreters. As Cohen begat Cale begat Buckley and lang, Virtue and Moir’s own “Hallelujah” was choreographed by Marina Zoueva, who injected into that exhibition a few moves drawn from decorated pair Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. Hubbell and Donohue’s free in turn carries not only Moir and Dubreuil’s DNA, but echoes of their forebears. The complex but intimate transitions would’ve suited any Virtue and Moir free dance of the early 2010s; the emphasis on utilizing every inch of music through contemporary dance is a legacy of Jennifer Swan and Guillaume Cote.

But my own investment in identifying the program’s intricacies, from musical nuance to choreographic accent, is also just another way of interpreting the enigma that is “Hallelujah.”

“We hope that when people watch it, they have their own experience,” said Hubbell. “Even for us, each time we skate it or practice it, it can bring out a different feeling based on what we’re going through in that moment, so I don’t think there’s a story that should be known. I mean, ‘Hallelujah,’ for me, is like life. Whatever you need it to mean for you in that moment is what it should mean.”

—Two for the Ice

[tripleaxeldiaz]

maybe one day i’ll fly next to you

chapter 3/8

read on ao3

start from the beginning

The two weeks before Skate America breeze by, every hour filled with skating or conditioning or trying not to creep on message boards to see what people are predicting for the season. Buck feels good, the best he’s ever felt this early on. He tries to reign it in, that voice in his head reminding him that he could still lose it all at any moment, but it’s muffled and quiet and easy to ignore.

He’s also been seeing more of Eddie, now that he knows he’s not the douchebag he always assumed he was. They condition together, watch each other's jumping passes and offer tips, even take their lunch break together, talking about everything skating and some non skating things too. It’s easy and nice and the best parts of Buck’s days, if he’s honest. He maybe always thinks about talking to Eddie, picking his brain for his thoughts on various skaters’ programs, watching him laugh with his whole body at some snarky comment Buck makes about someone’s horrible choice in costume. Buck likes the way he laughs, likes the way he feels a little warmer when he makes him laugh.

He should have known this brief bubble of happiness would be popped sooner rather than later.

The day before they leave, he and Maddie get an email — an email — from their mother, inviting them to dinner while they’re in town for the competition. To say Buck’s surprised would be an understatement.

“How’d they even find out it’s in Reading this year? Did you tell them?”

Maddie rolls her eyes, stabbing her salad with a little more force than necessary. “I haven’t spoken to them in longer than you have, so no. They’ve probably seen ads or something.”

“We could lie, tell them Bobby’s really strict about non-skating things during competitions?”

“Sure, but then they might just call Bobby on their own and blow our whole cover.”

“We could tell them we’re sick? Food poisoning? Then miraculously get better?”

“If that didn’t work when you tried to get out of taking your SAT, I don’t think it’ll work this time, either.”

“I wasn’t even planning on going to college, why did I—” Buck huffs as Maddie shakes her head at him sympathetically.

There’s really no way for them to get out of this.

The thing is, their parents aren’t bad people — a doctor and a PR manager who are on every non-profit board in the county, volunteer at the local animal shelter, and donate plenty of money to plenty of charities. As parents, though, they somehow manage an interesting balance of using their children’s successes for their own bragging rights and making them feel like they’re always just shy of good enough. They supported them growing up, sure, paid their way through lessons and competitions before endorsements started coming in, but it always felt like it was serving their own clout more than helping Buck and Maddie follow their dreams. When they moved out to LA, it was easy to distance themselves, rescheduling calls indefinitely until their parents eventually just stopped trying. 

The last time Buck talked to them was right after his leg surgery — they called under the guise of “checking in on him”, but spent most of the call figuring out the quickest way to get him back to practice, offering to pay for extra surgeries and PT to speed up the process. He’s sure they thought they were helping, but it felt more like they were eager for him to get back to winning medals so they could tell their friends about it. 

As much as he loves to win, it’s not the same when someone else is pushing you more than you’re pushing yourself. 

He sighs again, slumping down in his chair. He hadn’t been nervous at all about Skate America, but now the itch of self doubt has made a home right under his skin, and it wasn’t even for a skating reason. Maddie reaches across the table to grab his wrist, squeezing lightly. 

“It’ll be two hours max, then we’ll make an excuse about early practice and leave. It won’t be that bad.”

Buck nods, turning back to his lunch, suddenly not hungry as his stomach continues to churn.

~~~~~~~~~~

He didn’t expect to get this nostalgic, but the familiar drive toward Reading and the Sovereign Center (Santander Arena now, because capitalism is a prison) fills him with jittery excitement and a weird sense of calm, just like it did when he was a kid competing in the regional circuit. The arena was a palace compared to their rink in Hershey, and it always made him want to skate well enough to be worthy of the ice there. It’s where he won his first medal ever, his first gold, his first trip to Nationals, and would hopefully now serve as a stepping stone once again, this time leading him towards Beijing.

Eddie’s lounging on his bed, shirtless and flipping channels, when Buck gets to their room. It wasn’t a surprise this time — they’d requested to room together anyway — but seeing Eddie like this, soft and relaxed and somehow at home in a hotel room, makes Buck’s heart flip a little bit. 

Buck’s heart has been flipping a lot around Eddie, and making him think about stupid things like kissing him and how his abs would feel under his fingertips and how he’d prefer his eggs in the morning. It’s taking up a lot of real estate in his brain, and it’s going to get even worse now that they’re sleeping 10 feet away from each other, he’s sure.

That doesn’t stop him from sneaking glances at Eddie while he unpacks. Just to get it out of his system so he can focus. 

It’s fine.

He can totally handle this.

~~~~~~~~~~

Skata America is a much bigger deal than ACI — more cameras, more interviews, more people watching in the stands and on TV. That should mean it’s all more intimidating, too, but Buck is thriving under the lights and camera lenses. This will be the first real chance to show people — not just skating people, but everyone — what he can do, and the anticipation of how it will be received buzzes through him constantly. That buzz practically dictates his every move through practices and his short, finally ceasing as he hits his final pose. It’s quickly replaced by elation — he knows he nailed everything, he knows the resounding applause is deserved.

He knows he’s in first place before they even announce his score.

When they do, he’s right, and he’s thrilled, but there’s also a pang of disappointment, because the margin is tight — only three points between him and Eddie in second. Bobby hands him his protocols in the green room, and his stomach clenches when he sees that his step sequence and his sit spin were downgraded to level threes. His brain starts spinning, mentally combing through every revolution and edge to figure out where the hell he fucked up, when he feels a warm, solid hand on his shoulder. He looks up and sees Eddie, but instead of pity like he expected (or gloating like he feared), he just sees understanding in his eyes, maybe even a hint of the same irritation he’s feeling.

“They screwed me over too, my camel should have had a plus three GOE at least.” Eddie says, squeezing Buck’s shoulder. Somehow, he’s already feeling better.

“I bet it was the French judge, he’s always been a conniving bastard.”

“We could take him out, we have time before tomorrow.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Buck says, as Eddie offers his hand and pulls him up to stand. He tries not to miss the warmth when he lets go.

“For what it’s worth,” Eddie says quietly as they make their way around skaters and coaches in the hallway toward the press room, “I think you should be at least 10 points ahead, if not more. You were something else out there.”

Buck can’t make his brain come up with a proper response by the time they take their seats on the makeshift stage in front of the reports, so all he can do is smile and hope it comes across as totally chill and not as dopey as it feels.

Eddie smiles back, and Buck thinks he’s beautiful.

The presser goes just as expected — a few questions lobbed at the Candian skater currently in third, more for Buck since he’s in first, but the most still go to Eddie. Being the favorite for Olympic gold doesn’t go away after half a competition, and the reporters are rabid as ever. Buck’s seen Eddie’s press routine — the humble charm and gracious smiles, cracking jokes like he’s talking to friends and not a bunch of strangers with tape recorders. He’d spent years mentally rolling his eyes at what he thought was the fakeness of it all, but after getting closer to Eddie, he knows that’s just how Eddie is. Kind and patient, actively listening to what people are saying, taking his time to form thoughtful answers. 

But whatever’s happening now is not the Eddie he knows — his laughs are forced and almost too loud, his smile is tight and boarding on a grimace. He keeps fidgeting with his credentials and the sleeve of his Team USA zip-up, eyes darting around like he’s charting his path to get out of the room as fast as possible once they’re done. 

He’s nervous. Buck doesn’t think he’s ever seen him nervous, at least not like this, and it’s honestly a little unsettling. So much so that all Buck wants to do is fix it, bring the light back to Eddie’s eyes, bleed the tension out of his shoulders.

There’s probably not an easy way to do that while answering questions about his performance.

He waits until he sees the “wrap it up” signal from the event worker off to the side, the next reporter giving one last question to the Canadian skater. He doesn’t think about it too hard, just stretches his leg a little to the right, slowly, until he and Eddie are ankle to ankle. It’s not much, but Eddie still looks over at him, first confused and then grateful, a small, real smile on his face, his shoulders falling away from his ears.

Eddie’s quiet on the ride back to the hotel, but he looks calmer, listening to everyone else talk about their events and what could happen tomorrow during free skates. He’s still jittery though, leg bouncing as he sits next to Buck on the bus. Whatever was bothering him during interviews is clearly still lingering, and Buck has to fight the urge to reach out and calm his shaking with a hand on his knee. 

They make it back to their room, door barely clicking in place behind them, before Buck breaks.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Eddie freezes in front of him, half turned around like he was about to ask Buck something before he steamrolled over him. “You seemed stressed during the presser and on the ride back, and I just...wanted to make sure you’re good.”

Eddie looks stunned for a second before letting out a breath, hand rubbing over his face. “I knew this would happen, you know? The extra attention. It happened after Pyeongchang and the bronze medal, but it died down eventually. I thought I’d have more time to mentally prepare for it again, I guess.” He shakes his head, hand falling to his side as he shrugs his shoulders helplessly. “Today was just a lot.”

Buck nods, patting Eddie’s arm in understanding because he gets it. Most of the time he basks in any form of attention, but some days the lights are too hot and the voices are too loud and faking a smile through it is impossible. The one Buck sees now is real though, he knows it, and he’s happy to see Eddie relaxing now that they’re away from the vultures.

“Well, lucky for you, I’ll be out of your hair tonight, so you’ll have plenty of time to yourself,” Buck says, crossing the room to his bed, digging through his bag for his dinner clothes.

“Where are you going?” Eddie asks, and when Buck looks back at him as he heads to the bathroom to change, he swears he looks disappointed, briefly, before it shifts to confusion. “We don’t have any team stuff tonight, right?”

“Nah, Maddie and I got suckered into dinner with our parents.”

“Are Buckley family dinners always black tie affairs?” he asks when Buck comes back in slacks and a white button down, struggling to knot his tie. 

“No, but they told us to dress nicely, so we’re probably going to some fancy restaurant downtown. Knowing them, we’ll also be dragged to some party one of their friends is having that’s conveniently close by.”

He groans in frustration when his tie comes out crooked again, and Eddie laughs, taking pity on him and coming to do it himself. Buck tries to keep cool, willing his cheeks not to turn red, but it’s hard when he can feel Eddie’s breath on his chin, feel his fingers run across his collarbones, and he’s so close, if he just leaned in— 

“Sounds like it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Buck sighs through his nose. “I love my parents, they’re just...better from a distance.”

Eddie winces in what looks like sympathy, smoothing Buck’s tie and the front of his shirt as he finishes. Buck misses the motion as soon as it’s gone.

“Maybe they’ll prove you wrong this time,” Eddie says.

Buck rolls his eyes at that, but can’t help a small part of him desperately hoping that Eddie will be right.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie is so wrong.

Not only is there a party, it’s a party at their parent’s house, which is in full swing by the time Buck and Maddie pull up in their Lyft. Their mother opens the door, hair up, dress immaculate, lipstick-stained wine glass perched precariously in her hand.

“Evan! Maddie! Come in, so glad you could join us!” She kisses both their cheeks and hugs them quickly before taking their hands and dragging them deeper into the house. There are people everywhere, some faces Buck remembers and some new ones. There are waiters milling around too, passing bacon wrapped figs and mini bruschetta, and Buck feels his stomach rumble.

“So I guess we’re not doing dinner, huh Mom?” Buck asks, trying to keep the sarcasm to a minimum. Judging by the look Maddie gives him, he’s not doing a great job.

Their mother, of course, doesn’t bat an eye. “Sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t realize we were double booked, and we’d already moved this party once. There’s plenty of food in the kitchen though, you can eat after I’ve introduced you to some people. Everyone’s so excited to hear about how you’re doing. Philip, there you are!” Buck spots his father too, a head above the crowd, tie loose and cheeks flushed. He shakes Buck’s hand firmly, kisses Maddie on the top of her head, and is gone in an instant when someone beckons him towards the bar set up on the back wall of the living room.

“Nice to see you, too. We’re doing fine, thanks for asking!” Buck says under his breath before their mother is whisking them away again. 

They spend the next hour flitting between couples — the Whiteheads, the Culls, the Carters, and a bunch of others he can’t differentiate — getting whiplash from their mother’s flipping between actual praise and backhanded compliments.

“Evan’s one of the top skaters in the country, though not as highly ranked as he was before his accident. We’re hoping he’ll be back up there by the time the Olympics roll around so he’ll make the team.”

“Maddie’s been with her partner for about three years now, right darling? They don’t have as many golds as she had with Doug, but they do skate well together.”

“Yes, that skater from Japan is very good Rebecca, you’re right! Evan, do you know him? Maybe he can give you some pointers about your edges going into your spins? I know you struggle with those.”

On and on and on, Buck and Maddie barely able to get a word in. They see their father only a few times, and each time he’s gone as quickly as he comes, pulled away by colleagues or board members or whoever it is they’re entertaining tonight. Buck is exhausted, and not just because it’s been a long day already, but from having to keep up the good natured laughs and graciousness when he doesn’t even feel like a person. He feels more like a trophy, being shuttled from room to room to be admired for a while before being shoved into a closet where no one can see you. Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen — their parents will tout them around for the night, send them back to the hotel, and not speak to them again until they need something.

Buck really forgot just how small this big house can make him feel.

Eventually, he breaks away, making an excuse about needing the restroom before quietly sneaking up the back staircase to the second floor. Maddie finds him 15 minutes later, sliding down to sit next to him in the guest room closet.

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” she says, and Buck smiles weakly. He hid in here a lot when he was a kid, sometimes with Maddie and sometimes alone. When it was all too much — the pressure from their parents or his coach or himself — this is where he came to quiet his brain. The darkness and the smell of the cedar chest full of their mother’s old sweaters was comforting, and it wrapped around him like a blanket until he could breathe again. 

“None of their habits have died, that’s for sure,” he says. “Is it sad that I thought they would?”

“It’s not sad to hope for better. It’s just hard when all that hope is for nothing.”

Buck sighs, head thumping against the wall. Maddie threads her arm through his and rests her head on his shoulder. They sit like that for a while, quiet, both in their own heads, though he’s sure Maddie is thinking about and wishing for the same things he is. 

He shifts eventually, head resting on top of hers. “Can we go yet? We could probably sneak out the back door. If they haven’t come looking for us yet, they definitely won’t notice.”

“Should we just go back to the hotel? It’s only 8:30.”

“What else are we gonna do?”

Maddie types furiously on her phone for a minute. “Chim, Hen, and May are down to hang out. And WhirlyDome is open until midnight.”

“That place is still around?”

“Apparently, and they have half price appetizers after 9.”

The thought of mozzarella sticks and onion rings makes his stomach growl loudly again. “Alright, let’s do it. But I’m inviting Eddie too.”

Maddie just smirks at him, getting up and out of the closet before he has a chance to ask what the look was for. 

It would just be rude not to invite him.

And maybe part of Buck wishes he had stayed in with Eddie tonight from the start.

[to: Eddie] tonight sucked. we’re going to play whirlyball and eat fried food. u in?

[from: Eddie] ????? What the hell is whirlyball?

[to: Eddie] omg now u HAVE to come. meet us here in half an hour

He sends the address and does not smile like an idiot when Eddie says he’ll see him soon.

~~~~~~~~~~

“So it’s...bumper cars?”

“Bumper cars plus lacrosse plus basketball, kind of. It’s super fun and only a little dangerous.”

“Can I watch for a bit first?”

“Sorry Eds, first timers have to play. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

Eddie still looks skeptical as they get ready for the next game, carefully sitting in the car and picking up his scoop. 

A bell rings and the cars come to life, rumbling around the room as everyone starts scrambling for the ball. It takes about 30 seconds for Eddie to get the hang of steering, and by the end of the first game, no one would ever guess he’d never played before. He leads their team to three victories in a row, laughing and cheering loudly along with everyone else, like he hadn’t been overwhelmed with anxiety just a few hours earlier. Something warms in Buck at the thought that he helped with that smile, and it’s a feeling he thinks he could get used to, a job he wouldn’t mind having if it meant Eddie was this happy more often than not.

Despite it all — despite good friends and good food and the feeling of Eddie’s shoulder pressed against his, Buck still feels the tendrils of doubt and panic floating around him. They’re bad enough during competitions normally, but pair them with what happened at his parents’ house — being reminded of how he’ll never live up to their lofty image of him, even if he does make it to Beijing — and everything just feels dark and cold, and he doesn’t think his lungs are working properly. He leaves the table, says he’s going to the bathroom, but ends up outside instead. WhirlyDome is in the older half of a shopping center in downtown Hershey, and the outside has been renovated since he was last here, now featuring an elaborate fountain surrounded by benches and newly paved pathways to the other stores. He sinks down on the nearest bench, the cool October air grounding him, making it easier to think, easier to try and smash down all these swirling emotions he’s trying not to feel.

Eddie finds him there, sits down next to him on the bench without saying anything. They stay in companionable silence, watching the fountain dance and the people bustle back and forth across the plaza, getting last minute shopping in before the stores close.

“I’m sorry dinner sucked,” Eddie says eventually, quiet and sincere. 

Buck shrugs. “I knew it would. Just got my hopes up too high that things would be different.”

Eddie nods, eyes drifting back to the fountain. Now that they’re alone and the excitement from the games is gone, he can see the slightly weary lines of Eddie’s shoulders, see how he’s still curling in on himself, like he’s trying to escape into his own body.

“How are you?” Buck asks, knocking his knee against Eddie’s gently. “I know this isn’t exactly a quiet night in.”

“I’m alright. Better than I would be, thanks to you.”

“What did I do?”

Eddie’s staring at the ground, but his cheeks are flushing pink, and Buck wants to reach out and feel the heat of them under his fingertips.

“You were there,” he says. “I’m usually alone when I start feeling like that, and nothing makes it better. But I wasn’t alone this time.”

I don’t want you to be alone, Buck thinks, and these thoughts he’s been having — about Eddie, about being with Eddie — are getting louder and louder and harder to ignore. Especially now, when it’s just the two of them, and Eddie’s eyes are sparkling like gems under the street lights. 

It’s almost hilarious that barely six weeks ago, and for 10 very long years, he could hardly stand the sight of him.

Eddie finally looks up from the ground, facing Buck, and they’re so much closer than he thought they were. He can count every eyelash, smell his cologne, watch his eyes trace over Buck’s face, from his eye to his lips and back again.

Buck doesn’t even realize he’s leaning in until his vision starts to blur, and he stops short. He tries to move back slowly, casually, but then firm hands are cupping his jaw, pulling him forward until soft lips meet his own. There’s no fireworks, no angels singing, just warm molasses in his veins, spreading to every part of him until he’s so warm he’s certain he must be glowing. His hands twist into Eddie’s jacket, pulling him as close as possible until he’s practically in his lap. They move to his shirt, feeling the abs he’s been thinking about for weeks now, and he almost melts right to the ground at the sound Eddie sighs into his mouth. 

He’s not sure how long they kiss, but it doesn’t feel like long enough by the time they come up for air. He doesn’t go far, still close enough to feel Eddie’s breath fan across his lips, but he’s not sure what to do now. He wants to know what this means (if it means anything at all), he wants to know what Eddie’s thinking, he wants to memorize the way Eddie tastes and feel his abs for real.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, making them both jump. It’s a text from Maddie, telling him they’re car is here and asking where the hell they went. He looks back at Eddie, still so close, and swallows down the urge to kiss him again and tell his friends to leave them here.

“We should— we have to go,” he says, gesturing toward the parking lot. Eddie’s eyes are flitting over his face again, unreadable but still bright. He nods finally, standing up and offering his hand to Buck. He can’t fight the smile or the blush that he feels, so he doesn’t, taking Eddie’s hand to help him stand. They stay put for a minute, until Eddie squeezes his hand and drops it, smiling that soft smile again as he turns away. 

Buck smiles himself, still full of warmth and lips still tingling, before following Eddie to the car.

~~~~~~~~~~

The ride back is quiet, everyone tired and settling back into the competition mindset they were able to let go of for a few hours. Buck feels it too, already running step sequences in his head again, but he keeps getting distracted. Eddie’s sitting next to him in the back seat of the Lyft, head tipped back and eyes closed, looking at peace for the first time all day. Buck tries to stop, tries to keep his focus, but his eyes keep drifting back to Eddie’s jaw, the cut of his cheekbones, the stubble shadowing his cheeks. It’s hard to remember what edges he’s supposed to hit tomorrow when he keeps thinking about how that stubble felt under his lips.

They silently make their way back to their room, and Buck knows they need to talk. He’s trying to figure out where the hell to start as he turns on the light in the small entryway, illuminating everything in a light that feels too harsh for whatever is currently simmering between them. Eddie’s right behind him when he turns around, looking just as unsure as Buck feels. It’s comforting, them being on the same page, but Buck hates that he’s responsible for making Eddie feel like this.

He can’t figure out where to start, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he tries to figure out what to say. Eddie takes pity on him eventually, reaching for his hand again.

“Let’s talk tomorrow?” he asks. “After free skates.”

It’s an out that Buck is more than willing to take. Not that he doesn’t want to talk, he just...can’t. Not right now. So he nods, squeezing Eddie’s hand in thanks. He goes to pull away, but Eddie’s grip stays firm.

“It wasn’t nothing to me,” he says, tilting his head until Buck meets his eye. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing or what it meant for you, but it was something for me.”

Buck’s doesn’t know what to do with that, either. He wants to kiss Eddie again and he wants to run far away from him and he wants to skate, but he can’t until the morning. So he just nods again, and it seems to be enough. Eddie nods back, finally dropping his hand as he heads into the bathroom and shuts the door. 

Buck doesn’t bother waiting for his turn, just strips out of his dress clothes and crawls into bed. He falls asleep fast, dreams of brown eyes and triple axels — taking off, rising, and falling, falling, falling…

~~~~~~~~~~

He knows he’s falling before his ass hits the ice.

It was inevitably, really — he felt like he was fighting himself through the entire program, trying to keep it from completely unraveling. He knows that to anyone else, any casual fan and even some analysts, he looked good, strong, put together right until the end. But he knows that this isn’t his best. And this fall is definitely going to cost him.

He recovers quickly, finishing the rest of the program as close to perfectly as he can manage. He smiles and bows, waves to his friends in the stands, tries to pretend like he’s okay with knowing that he’s definitely not winning this gold. 

It’s his own fault. He’d let his parents worm their way into his brain again, amplifying the self doubt that was already lingering, making him second guess every move, even the things he knows are good. Pair that with the fact that he can’t stop thinking about Eddie — not just the kiss, but his smile as he took the ice, his effortless jumps — and it was a miracle he only fell once.

He takes silver, four points behind Eddie’s gold. The fact that it was that fall that did him in stings worse than anything.

At the medal ceremony, he catches Eddie’s eye for the first time all day on the podium, and surprises himself with the genuine smile he gives him. It’s certainly not Eddie’s fault, what happened today — he didn’t ask to take up most of Buck’s thoughts, Buck let that happen. And if he keeps letting it happen, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to skate clean again.

He knows they still need to talk, and he knows exactly what he needs to say, but he really doesn’t want to say it. 

Luckily, he doesn’t have to say anything right away. Eddie disappears after the presser and doesn’t join him and May in the stands for the free dance. Buck tries to ignore the empty seat next to him, but it’s harder than usual.

They have a late flight back to LA, and Eddie’s already packed but the time Buck makes it back to the room. They stand across from each other in the entryway, just like last night, but the tension in the air feels wary under Buck’s skin instead of hopeful.

“You were amazing today,” Buck blurts out, not at all how he wanted to start this conversation. It’s worth it, though, for the smile and blush he gets from Eddie.

“Thanks,” he says, eyes on the floor. “So were you.”

Jesus, just tell him, Buck thinks, and he squares his shoulders like he’s preparing for a fight.

“It was something for me, too,” he says softly. “Yesterday, it— it definitely wasn’t nothing.”

Eddie looks at him, waiting, and Buck hesitates.

He really, really doesn’t want to say it.

“But?” Eddie prompts, because of course he knows there’s more.

“But,” Buck sighs. “But I can’t— We should wait. Until after the Olympics. I don’t think either of us want to be too distracted before then, and I don’t know if you know this, but you are very...very distracting.” Eddie snorts and rolls his eyes, and Buck lets his gaze rake over Eddie from top to bottom, distracting himself for just a little bit longer.

“You’re right,” Eddie says quietly. “Let’s wait. And I’ll try and be less distracting, so I can keep kicking your ass fair and square.”

“Oh really?” Buck laughs, and Eddie’s laughing too, and it feels good and normal and Buck doesn’t want it to stop. But it has to. Because as much as Buck wants to dive deeper into this...whatever this is with Eddie, he wants to win more. Not much more (which is a thought he never expected to have about anyone), but definitely more. 

And if anyone in the world understands that feeling, it’s Eddie.

There’s a knock on the door, Bobby giving them a 15 minute warning before they’re supposed to head to the airport. Buck moves to head toward his things so he can pack, but Eddie grabs his arm before he can go too far. His eyes look soft and sad and hopeful and a million other things Buck is feeling too, and he just wants to drown in them, in this moment, before he has to go back out into the world, alone.

Eddie leans forward, softly kissing Buck’s cheek, lingering in his space before he heads out of the room, door quietly shutting behind him.

[ghstandpucks]

Cutting Edge ~ Nathan MacKinnon Ch.1

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for reading the prologue of this story and for your feed back! I loved hearing from you! Now I just hope this lives up to the expectations lol I would love to hear feedback on this chapter! Enjoy!

Prologue 

You were on your last handful of boxes as you walked into your new Denver apartment. You were about 10 minutes from the rink in a cute brick building. Large windows let in rays of sunshine as the warm September day came to an end. The downtown Denver lights where starting to come on as people milled about. You slowly unloaded some boxes; thankful the apartment came semi furnished with at least a couch, dining table and bed. You didn’t mind though, having an apartment back home in Anaheim, California, most of your stuff just came with you. What you didn’t need you either sold or took to your parent’s house to store it. You grew up only half an hour from Anaheim, and moved to an apartment there when you were 17. You had graduated high school early, and moved closer for training to focus on making the Olympic team. At first your mom had stayed with you, the both of you going home on weekends. Then at 18, your parents thought it was fine for you to be on your own, seeing as they weren’t too far away. On the other hand, moving to Colorado by yourself was going to be an adjustment.

Sunday morning you got up early and began your day at the grocery store. After unloading, you continued to unpack. Around 3 in the afternoon, there was a knock at your door. Opening it, you saw a package on the ground with your name on it. Taking it into your kitchen, you went about cutting the tape to open it. Inside was dark blue fabric with a card addressed to Coach Y/L/N. Opening the card, it read “Welcome to the Colorado Avalanche Coach Y/L/N. I hope you made it to Denver safely. We are looking forward to having you work with us this season. See you on Monday at 7am!” ~ Jared Bednar.

           You pulled the fabric out and found that it was the warm up/sweat suits that the coaches wear for practice. The jacket was embroidered with Coach Y/L/N on the upper right, and the Avs logo on the left. You smiled to yourself and ran to your room to try it on. Looking in the mirror, you could not help but laugh. The pants were just a little long and looked baggy, but you figured it was meant for men, and hockey players at that. Not your typical leggings or skirts for figure skating. Picking up your phone, you facetimed one of your best friends/ older brother figure, Jeremy Abbott. “JER!” you yelled as he answered.

           “Y/N! There is my favorite little superstar!” He yelled back just as happy. The two of you had always been close. You met at your first senior worlds competition while you worked with the same choreographer that he did that year. He took to showing you the ropes of the competition and took you under his wing. You were each other’s biggest supporters, with you even standing in for his coach at a few competitions. “Check out the threads!” he laughed as you modeled your new outfit for him through the mirror.

           “The pants are kind of baggy, but isn’t it awesome! I feel so official!” you squealed, overly excited.

           “I’m sure you can opt out of wearing those if you wanted to,” Jeremy suggested, unpacking one of his boxes. He was set to work with the Minnesota Wild this season.

           “Probably. But I at least want to show up tomorrow with everything on to show I appreciate it. I definitely was not expecting this,” you replied.

           “True. At least you got a whole outfit! I only got a t-shirt,” Jeremy laughed. You talked a bit longer with each other before saying your good bye’s and good lucks for tomorrow.

           Waking up the next morning, you were nervous but excited for this new experience. You put your coach’s outfit on, straightened your Y/H/C hair, and put on a little makeup. From always wearing a tone of makeup for competitions, on a daily bases you didn’t like to wear much. Most days you just threw on some foundation and mascara. You wanted to look nice for your first day with the Avs, but not like you were trying to hard. To be honest, you were looking forward to meeting the team, but you knew things had to stay professional because of the position you were in. And if you wanted to be a good spokesperson and liaison for the organizations, you had to remain professional. From training in Anaheim, you were friends with some of the Ducks, so you didn’t think it would be too difficult to work with the Avs.

           Upon arriving at the rink, Coach Bednar was waiting for you with a few others. Not only did it look like other coaches, but media people as well. You smiled as you walked up to them. “Good morning!” you spoke cheerfully.

           “Good morning Y/N. It’s good to see you again,” Bednar shook your hand as you walked over, a few pictures being taken. You were relieved when you saw that they were all wearing the same outfit as you. While you got ready this morning a thought crossed your mind that maybe they didn’t wear them and you would be left looking like you were trying to hard. After being introduced to the other coaches and taking a quick group photo in front of the rink, you followed Bednar as he showed you around. “And one more thing,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “Now you are official,” he smiled, handing you a whistle. You were slightly embarrassed over how excited you became putting it around your neck. As you went to thank him, a voice came from behind you.

           “So you must be our figure skater!” You whipped around to see a handsome man with a charming smile on his face. “Gabriel Landeskog,” he held out his hand to shake. You smiled and shook it.

           “Y/N Y/L/N. It’s nice to meet you,” you replied.

           “Gabe is our team captain. The guys shouldn’t cause you any trouble, but Gabe will be looking out for you also,” Bednar said.

           “Of course. If you need anything just ask Coach Y/L/N,” Gabe nodded.

           “Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m looking forward to working with you all,” you stated. Gabe walked away to the locker room laughing to himself. Walking in, he went right over to Nate.

           “Oh you are screwed,” he joked. Nate looked up at him with concern.  

           “What do you mean?” he asked, confused by Gabe’s statement.

           “I mean, if you thought our figure skater was attractive on the video, which I’m pretty positive you did, you’re going to fall when you meet her. She’s adorable and I’m sure Mel will want to adopt her at some point,” he whispered so no one around them would hear. Nate couldn’t help the redness that started to creep up the back of his neck. So Gabe had caught his look the other day. He was trying to think of something to say as Bednar walked in.

           “Get ready and let’s go gentlemen. You all have a new face to meet and she’s already out on the ice,” he chuckled, before leaving the room to head to the ice himself. Gabe sent Nate a wink as he went to put his own skates on.

           One by one the team filed out of the locker room and out on the ice. You were standing around center ice listening to the coaches talk and getting to know them better. They seemed welcoming enough, which was comforting. You tried not to pay too much attention to the team skating a few warm up laps around you, forcing yourself to be actively engaged in the conversation the coaches were having. You could feel your heart start to beat a bit faster though as the nerves sank in. What if they didn’t like you and this whole program failed? Trying to shake off the negative thoughts, you forced a soft smile on your face just as you were taught when you first stepped onto the ice all those years ago. No matter what happens, you smile.

           Coach Bednar blew his whistle and the team started to gather in front of him, taking a knee. You turned to the team as you stood behind the head coach, in line with the others. You tried to avoid any prolonged eye contact as you swept over the team briefly. Nate on the other hand was having a difficult time listening to what Bednar was saying as he stared at you. He wasn’t the only one, others were also trying to size you up and figure you out. How much of the girl they saw in the clip were you in real life? As you stood there in the baggy coach’s outfit and your hair pulled into a ponytail, the only thing that seemed to resemble that girl was the smile you offered them. Eventually, Bednar finished what he was saying and turned toward you, motioning for you to join him. You glided over and placed your toe pick in the ice to stop, a slight motion that did not go unnoticed by a bunch of hockey players who had no toe picks. “This is Coach Y/L/N. I’ve already told you guys a bit about her, but why don’t you introduce yourself,” Bednar said to you. You nodded and your smile brightened a small amount. Here’s the performance.

           “Hi guys! My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m excited to be here with you all and I look forward to getting to know you and working with you. Um, I am the liaison for this program and partnership between the NHL and USFS, so if you have any questions about it feel free to ask me. I can pretty much answer whatever you want to know as I attended like every meeting and helped coordinate it all. And…yeah. I’m just happy to be here and excited to see how this goes,” You said, holding your hands behind your back to hide how much they were shaking. You may be the spokesperson and speak frequently at events, but that didn’t mean you were always comfortable doing so. You glanced around and were relieved to see some smiles, even if they were toothless ones. That was when you caught the eye of number 29. He gave you a soft grin and looked away, almost as if he had been caught. Nate was thankful he had a helmet on so no one could point out the redness creeping its way into his face.

~ ~ ~

           About an hour later, you had a group of about 8 players with you. Since you had to get to know everyone’s skating strengths and weaknesses before you could move forward with a plan of action to improve their skating, you ran them through a basic drill to see which edge and side they stopped and turned momentum on quicker. As you were watching their footwork intently, Nate was watching you, and Gabe was watching him. The captain had never seen his friend so interested in someone so quickly.

           You turned back to the group in a sharp movement after watching Kadri go through the drill and did not pay attention to your own foot placement. Before you knew it, the back of your blade got caught up in the baggy sweats by your other foot and you stumbled forward. Thankfully, from years of skating you had quick reflexes and righted yourself within a second, letting out an embarrassed giggle. You weren’t the only one with quick reflexes though as you saw at least 5 pairs of gloved hands lunge toward you to keep you upright. “You ok?” Nate asked. He had lunged the closest to you, something that did not go unnoticed by Gabe, or the others for that fact.

           “I’m fine, thanks. These things are too baggy. I’m not used to skating in sweats,” you replied, smiling at him and thanking the cold air of the ice rink for already turning your cheeks pink, and not just from embarrassment. You locked eyes with the center, and as his concern turned into a soft smile, you couldn’t help the butterflies that seemed to take flight in your stomach. It seemed like a Hallmark movie moment, until someone spoke up and ruined it.  

           “You could always just take them off,” a voice suggested. You looked up with raised eyebrows to find Tyson Jost looking horrified at the words that he had just uttered. “I didn’t mean it that way! I am so sorry. I meant that you could, like, wear something else. But definitely still wear something. And…”

           “Laps, now” Gabe gave a slight shove to Tyson and the hockey player took off with one more ‘sorry’ being uttered over his shoulder. Gabe then turned back to you.

           “He didn’t mean that in a negative way,” he tried to explain for his teammate. You broke into a smile and laughed lightly.

           “I know. It was kind of fun to watch him sputter though,” you shrugged. Gabe looked shocked. He didn’t think you would take this so lightly, with it being your first day and not knowing everyone’s personality yet. Everyone else started to laugh as they gave Jost a hard time as he came back around.

           “I think you are going to fit in just fine here coach,” Gabe chuckled. You smiled at him and the rest of the players who were laughing as well, nodding along. You turned your attention back to Nate who was still standing next to you and giggled as he sent you a quick wink before skating back to his teammates. Yeah, you think your going to like it here.

tags: @bqstqnbruin​

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 12

"𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘬𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺." ━ 𝐉.𝐑.𝐑. 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐧, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: nope.

word count: 6,844 [once again, unedited lol]

authors note: THIS IS IT!! the finale of my tyler seguin series– ‘little do you know!’ this series honestly started out as a little fic idea i wrote down in my notes app on a road trip this time last year. i didn’t think much would come of it and when i decided to post it on here, i figured it’d flame away. but yall literally took it to a whole ‘nother level and i love yall for that so so much. you’ve sent messages, reblogged, liked and it’s still mind-blowing to me. i’m so happy that you guys enjoyed this series as much as i’ve loved writing it– and while it saddens me that it’s over, i can’t wait to bring you guys more material. okok enough of my rambling, here’s the finale!

Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip

That was all that echoed through your mind the moment your name was called for you to receive your diploma. You hadn't even thought about that being a possibility until last night, at yours and Kennedy's joint graduation dinner, when your brothers brought up how funny it would be if the two of you face-planted in front of the huge crowd.

And when you crossed the stage with grace, taking in the cheers that followed your name as you stood beside the University President with your diploma in hand– you swore that this was the happiest moment of your life. When you got back to your seat and the rest of the names continued to get called, you couldn't help but spend that time, looking at your folder and thinking back on your last few months.

You rang in the new year at a team party hosted by the Stars organization that was attended by the team, the staff, and their friends and family. It was nice, coming off of an amazing Christmas spent with your family and being down in Dallas. You had left the city, days earlier in the worst amount of pain and dreaded having to come back to it once school started again. Yet being there, waiting for the ball to drop, surrounded by your parents, your friends and the Dallas Stars, was enough to make you forget all about that pain. And with Tyler on your arm, kissing you into the new year, you truly couldn't wait to see just what 2020 could bring into your life.

And if the Stars 4-2 Winter Classic win over Nashville wasn't a sign of the good that the Universe planned to come your way– well, you didn't want to think about that. You didn't believe it when everyone said that the months would fly by as soon as the spring semester started– but they truly had. Your classes had kept you busy during the day while working the Stars games kept you busy at night. You had kept true to your word, and both you and Kennedy had befriended Paisley– the three of you becoming close in just a short amount of time. When the All-Star break came and your many, many votes for Jamie to be one of the 'last men in' were ignored, Tyler offered you a spot on the trip.

It was one thing, knowing that he'd rather have spent that entire week with you somewhere, doing anything and everything but thinking about hockey. And being in St. Louis in the middle of winter didn't really scream 'yes, please!' But taking the weekend off away from school and supporting him and watching him do what he loves while inspiring all of hockey's next generation of players...was enough to make you want to go.

As the weeks went on, Dave and Craig let you take on more and more responsibility as you could, and ones that didn't require you needing the board certification that you were already planning to take. They gave you advice on applying to Masters programs and Craig, sometimes even let you take his place on the bench during games. It wasn't a frequent thing, maybe once or twice every two to three weeks– but it was still cool as hell.

When spring break rolled around, you and Kennedy rubbed it into the faces of your Stars friends, when you announced your spring break plans with Paisley. While most of them had been to Cabo once or twice before, it was a getaway most of them desired for since the toll of the season was starting to weigh them down. Before you knew it, finals week was here and then boom...graduation.

In the last five months, your entire senior year flashed right before your eyes– and the moments that stood out the most always had the most important people in your life.

Your friends.

Your brothers and er- adopted brothers.

And Tyler...and the puppers.

The sound of cheering knocked you out of your thoughts and you saw all of your classmates standing up around you. You followed suit, holding onto the diploma tightly as you looked around you. You couldn't wrap your mind around how four years had come to an end so quickly. All of the weekends, the study nights, the parties off campus– everything, your entire college experience had wrapped up in four hours. As the crowd began to disperse and everyone went in search of their families, you looked around for Kennedy and Paisley, heading towards the meeting spot that the three of you had designated beforehand.

The Texas heat practically slapped you in the face as you used your diploma as a way to block the sun. Leaning out by a pillar just outside the auditorium, your two friends swarmed you from either side, the three of you hugging and trying not to cry. Even though Paisley had come into your friend group so late, it was like she was a missing piece of your friendship puzzle that well, you never knew you needed. When the three of you pulled away from one another, it only took one passing look before you burst into laughter.

"Ugh, why are we like this?" Kennedy laughed, sniffling and wiping her cheeks.

"I'm just happy that I'm no longer in that arena. You'd think with as expensive as the tuition is, they'd have decent air conditioning." Paisley added on, taking off her cap and wiping at her forehead. She turned off to the side and nodded her head. "I see my family, but we're all still on for lunch, right?"

Kennedy and you nodded as she waved and walked off, disappearing into the crowd. You relaxed more against the pillar, looking at your surroundings once more. "I can't believe it's over."

"Oh God, don't you start that," Kennedy came up next to you and plopped back against the pillar. "Get out of your emotions, Y/N. This isn't the time, especially today!"

And she was right, today was not the best day to get all in your feelings and be sad about your college experience coming to an end. Today...or rather, tonight, was so much more important.

"THERE'S MY FAVORITE GRADUATE!"

You and Kennedy looked up to see Big Rig towering over the crowd of people as his frame practically parted the crowd. Kennedy's parents were drifting behind him, all smiles as Big Rig carried flowers in his hands. "Hi, favorite boyfriend."

You rolled your eyes as he picked her up and spun her around carefully, kissing her before placing her back down onto the ground. "Favorite boyfriend? Are you telling me you have more than one?"

"Eh, I forgot about what's his name for the weekends," she joked, standing on her tippy toes and kissing him again. "You're my number one, though."

He smiled and handed her his flowers before turning to you, "ah, my second favorite graduate and first favorite Benn!" He wrapped you up in a hug and lifted you off the ground. "Don't worry, I got you flowers as well." He put you back down and handed you the other bouquet he was carrying.

"Hey, the only one who brings her flowers is me!" You turned to see Tyler standing there all dressed up with a smile on his face. When you looked past him, you saw the rest of your group stopped and talking to Kennedy's parents.

"Hey now, I'm more than okay with receiving gifts," you smiled, as Tyler made his way over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. "But your flowers are my favorite."

He leaned in and kissed you, pulling away and tapping your graduation cap before bringing the bouquet in between the two of you. "There's a little gift in there too, from the puppers and I."

You looked down in the bouquet to see a black box with a small, red bow sitting in the middle of it. You picked it up and then looked back at Tyler with a raised eyebrow. "But Tyler, I just graduated college...I'm too young to get married."

The way his eyes bulged out of his head was enough to make you want to double over in laughter. When he registered the sarcasm in his voice, he rolled his eyes and nodded. "Haha, very funny, Y/N," he tucked the bouquet in the crook of his arm and nodded down at the box. "But just so you know, my proposal would be 100x better than this."

Your heart fluttered at the thought of Tyler proposing to you. Sure, you were nowhere near ready for marriage and neither was Tyler. And when you said it, it was a total joke. But the thought of it...was still a nice one. You looked back down at the box and lifted up the lid, revealing a stunning gold, heart-shaped locket. "Oh, Tyler..."

"Go ahead, open it." He smiled, nodding his head down at the locket before looking back at you. You pulled the necklace out of the box and opened the locket, revealing two pictures tucked on the inside. "Cassidy and Candace helped me cut out the pictures, I guess my first-grade arts and crafts projects proved that scissors and I don't go together well."

You smiled down at the locket, taking in the pictures Tyler had chosen. On the left, was a picture of the three goodest Seguin boys sitting at attention, all smiles and tongues. On the right, was probably your favorite picture you and Tyler had ever taken. It was at the family skate for the winter classic, the two of you had been skating around and having fun, and after beating Tyler in the first of many races, he had wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into him– preventing you from skating away. You were laughing, trying to wrestle out of his grip as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, blowing raspberries and only making you squirm more. Kennedy had snapped the candid, right at the moment, you had turned to look at him with a smile on his face and seconds before he leaned in to kiss you.

Literally a picture-perfect moment.

"I got it engraved on the back too," he reached out and flipped the locket over, revealing the small engraving on the backside. "They're coordinates."

"Coordinates? But to where?" you smiled, running your finger over the numbers.

"Dallas," he nodded, pointing at the engraving just below that.

My favorite memories and more. I love you.

You looked down at the locket, continuously running your thumb over the small engraving as you tried to hold back the tears. It was incredibly sweet of him to do this. At most, you expected flowers– but not something as sentimental as this. Yet as always, Tyler was always giving you more than you expected or felt like you deserved.

"I love you." You smiled, finally looking up at him before handing him the necklace and turning around, holding your hair up. "Can you?"

He handed the flowers off to Big Rig before placing the locket around your neck. The moment he clasped it off and you felt the weight of the necklace rest right at your chest, you turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him. "I'm proud of you and I love you, Y/N. I hope you know that."

You nudged his nose with your own and smiled, "I know."

He hugged you closer to him, kissing you again until someone cleared their throat, interrupting the moment. "This is nice and all, but let me hug my sister, Seggy."

Tyler stepped away, taking the flowers back from Big Rig as Jamie, Jordie, and Jenn huddled behind him. Tyler and Jamie were back to normal, what happened over Christmas playing a huge part in it. Jamie, of course, had a few understandable ground rules: no extensive PDA in front of him and no discussing bedroom activities in the locker room, both of which you understood completely.

You were swarmed by your three older siblings, all three wrapping you up into a big hug and refusing to give you any air to breathe– but you were okay with it. You experienced a time where you knew that one of them had wanted nothing to do with you at one point, and you never wanted to experience that again. So this, lung crushing hug– was perfect.

"Okay, okay, give her some air you three," your mom said, swatting them away as yours and Kennedy's families group together. "Gosh, look at the two of you...college graduates."

"Yeah, honestly we never thought you'd make it here– OW!" Jordie said, glaring at your mom. "What? It's the truth? Don't you remember how homesick they were freshman year?"

"Oh yeah!" Jamie laughed, pointing at you and Kennedy. "Family weekend, you guys had an intervention with the two of them, telling them that they couldn't camp out in Kennedy's living room anymore on the weekends."

"And look how much gas money we saved on that," Kennedy's dad chimed in, wrapping his arm around her mom. "You girls sure have grown up these last few years...it makes us proud."

"Now about this Hawaii trip..." you smiled, looking at your two older brothers.

Jamie and Jordie looked at one another and Jamie shook his head. "I told you it wouldn't take her long to bring it up."

"Well, you're the one who ruined the surprise."

"Okay, but how was I supposed to know–"

"Boys, boys, boys," Kennedy said, walking over to the two older Benn boys. "Why argue, when you can give us the details on our extravagant, Hawaiian vacation?"

"Girls, we'll discuss it over lunch when we're with Paisley too, can the two of you wait that long?" Your mom asked, shaking her head.

"The lunch that four said big hockey players won't be at because they have to take a pre-game nap?" You smiled, standing up straighter. "Sounds great to me."

"Speaking of the game tonight, we're excited to see you guys play!" Kennedy's mom said, nodding at Big Rig. "Finally get to see the four boys we've heard so much about, in action."

"Please Mrs. Stewart, don't boost their egos any more than they already are." You teased, bumping into Tyler.

"Okay, okay enough talk! If we want to make our reservations we'll need to get some pictures done! Boys– er, boyfriends, you guys with the two girls first." Your dad directed, ushering the conversation forward.

Everyone cleared out in the circle as Big Rig and Tyler came to take a picture with Kennedy and you. Tyler stood on your right as Big Rig stood in between you and Kennedy, all four of you standing close and looking at the cameras, ready for the picture. "I'm kind of jealous of their hats," Tyler said, smiling through his words.

"I know, it's kind of depressing to know that our girlfriends are hotter and smarter than us, now."

"And you better not forget it," You added in, scrunching your nose as Tyler.

"Yeah, but after tonight, we'll be able to say that our boyfriends are the 2020 Western Conference Champions, so which is better?"

Tyler and Big Rig looked at each other and nodded their heads. "Hot girlfriends."

You and Kennedy nudged them both in the ribs before your parents made you take another picture.

❒❒❒❒

Your post-grad lunch surrounded by family and friends was exactly what you needed to take your mind off of the end of your undergrad years and especially, tonight. Jamie, Big Rig, Jordie, and Tyler weren't originally supposed to tag along, but never like to be left out, they opted to join your already huge lunch party. More than once, you often caught yourself slipping out of conversations and just looking around at the table, wondering just how you ended up in your current spot. You had two amazing girlfriends, their families, your own family, your siblings and of course, Tyler.

After the lunch had ended, your four hockey boys went their separate ways to prepare themselves for tonight's game. Jamie had offered up his place for everyone to relax before the game with the one rule that nobody bothered him the moment he went upstairs to take his nap. It was comical, watching him try to lecture the three pairs of parents on how important a pre-game nap was. So, all three families went to Jamie's place and settled down in the living room, mingling and talking about how excited they were to watch the game from the suite that Jamie, Tyler and Big Rig had gotten for the big group. You had chosen to let Tyler have his rest back at his place, deciding to tag along with your parents back to Jamie's house.

And that's when it happened. No sooner than you guys stepped foot into his front door, your mom practically spazzed out, "Oh shoot, I almost forgot!" She rushed into the kitchen, bringing back two envelopes for you. "These came in for you just before we left home. I meant to give them to you at lunch, but I forgot them here this morning."

"What are they?"

"Ooh, maybe it's cash. A million dollars perhaps, Mrs. B?" Kennedy joked, plopping down next to Katie on Jamie's couch.

"Oh no, that'd be a gift from her two loving brothers," your mom laughed, handing over the envelopes to you. "Go ahead, open them."

You took the envelopes from her and flipped them over, seeing two familiar emblems and names written in the top left corner of each. You looked at your parents with wide eyes and they both just smiled. "Do you think...?"

"Only one way to find out."

You took a deep, calming breath before opening the first envelope. You closed your eyes, unfolding the letter before opening it again and letting your eyes dwindle down the paper. "Oh my God...I got in," you let the letter fall from your face as you looked at your parents. "I got in!!"

"Where, where? Which one?" Kennedy cheered, springing off the couch as everyone maneuvered into the living room.

"Houston," you shook your head in shock. "I got into their Masters Athletic Training program."

"Oh God, please stop getting degrees," Jamie groaned, coming in from the kitchen with a water bottle. "It's bad enough you've already got a jump on us, but one more?"

"You can go to school too, Jamie," Katie replied, rolling her eyes. "Open the second one!"

"I bet you got into there too," Jennie smiled, taking a seat on the couch armrest.

"I doubt it," you sighed, looking at the second envelope. "It's USF. They're one of the top programs in the country."

"Well, you'll never know if you don't open it," Jamie replied, coming up by your mom. "And please do it soon, I need my nap."

You stared at the USF logo in the left corner, trying to feel the envelope as if you'd be able to tell it was a rejection letter without opening it. You had only applied to two programs– U of Houston and USF, with USF being your number one choice. Turning the envelope over, you ripped the seal and pulled the folded letter out. You stared at the back of the paper, trying to build the nerve to unfold the letter when you looked up and immediately made eye contact with Jamie.

He sighed and came over, holding out his hand for you to hand the letter over. You placed it in his hand and without hesitation, he unfolded it and brought it up to his face. You watched as his eyes skimmed over the letter, his face showing no sign of emotion. "Well shit," he sighed, sounding defeated.

"No? It's no isn't it?"

"No, it looks like I'll be seeing you in Tampa instead of Houston," he turned the paper around and smiled. "You got in."

Your eyes widened as you read the first word of the letter over and over again. 'Congratulations!' You looked up at Jamie and jumped into his arms. "I got in!"

He hugged you tight and spun you around a little as the rest of the group was all smiles and cheers. "I'm proud of you, kid. I know you've worked hard for this," he put you back onto the ground and handed over your letter. "And you've earned every bit of it."

You were in disbelief, you had actually gotten into both Masters programs. As you stared at your two letters, you couldn't help but feel incredibly proud of the work you'd put in your last four years of undergrad. And as soon as the cheers and voices of everyone around you faded out, the thought that had been lingering in the back of your mind since you applied for the programs, came forward.

If you went to USF...then what about Tyler?

❒❒❒❒

The atmosphere in the arena was insane, and why wouldn't it be? Tonight was the potential final game of the Western Conference Championship. Both of your brothers were playing tonight and the Stars were leading the series 3-0.

Needless to say, tonight was a very, very important night.

So important, that you hadn't even thought to tell anyone besides those who were at the house when you found out about your acceptance into the two masters programs. You figured that after the game was the best time to tell Big Rig and Tyler, not before they had one of the biggest games of their career. That, and it gave you a little more time to really consider what to do about choosing a program. USF was your number one choice and you only applied to U of Houston as a backup. But now that you've gotten into both, what the hell were you supposed to do?

You spent all of that quality pre-game relaxation time asking Kennedy and Paisley what they thought you should do. You and Tyler had just started officially dating only months ago and now there was a huge potential that you would be moving 15 hours away? How the hell would that affect your relationship? You didn't even want to think about that, because you had already almost lost Tyler once...you didn't want to risk it again.

But you wanted to go to USF, so badly. It was as if your brain and your heart were tugging you in two different directions. One being, that if you choose to go to USF for the next two years, your relationship with Tyler would be up in the air and fall apart as quickly as it had come together the first time. The other being, that you couldn't let a relationship dictate over what would be the best for you and your education. The battle inside of you was at such a high, but the moment that you walked into the training room and heard the chatter and laughter of the boys waiting to be helped, it was as if that was washed away and the real worry at hand took over.

As serious of a game, this was going to be, you'd never know it by the way the boys were in the training room or even down the corridors doing their pre-game stuff. You were immediately greeted with cheers and congratulations, followed by the 'smarty-pants' and 'nerd' chirps. But you loved every moment of it because it was coming from them and you knew that they meant it in a heartfelt way.

You were already finished with helping Big Rig and his stretches when Tyler had come in and requested you to tape his ankles, of course. You were already done with one when the door opened and Dave walked in with Craig behind him, both coming back from helping some of the guys out in the hallway.

"Y/N! We just heard!" Craig smiled, walking past as Jamie followed in behind home.

"You got into USF? Great job, kid! Their program is one of the best in the country," Dave added, coming to a stop by you and patting you on the shoulder. "And as a graduation present from Craig and I, you get to be with us on the bench today. Get a taste of the real playoff run stuff." He walked by and went to his desk, plopping down into his chair. "Also, if you have to do some more internship stuff down there, Tom Mulligan is a good friend of mine. I can see if I can get you one there if you'd like?"

"That'd be cool, thanks, Dave." You smiled, turning your attention back to Tyler's ankle as the guys around you cheered even more for you.

"What? You got into USF? That's awesome!" Tyler asked, bending his foot to get you to look up at him. "Wait, what's that? I've never heard of that school here..."

"That's because it's not in Texas," you took a deep breath, looking back down at his foot and mentally cursing Jamie for telling Dave and Craig. This is not how you wanted Tyler to find out, ideally...he'd find out eh...weeks from now. "It's in Tampa."

"But–"

"You're all done." Before he could say anything else, you finish wrapping his ankle and tap the tape, signaling that he's done. You went to stand up when Pavs called you over, asking if you could tape him too.

Tyler sat there on the table for a moment, watching you and still looking confused before finally hopping off, returning his heating pad and walking out of the training room. You could still feel the tension in your shoulders as you went on and helped Pavs and then a few more of the guys, and though Tyler wasn't in the room with you, it was as if you could still feel his gaze on you. When the training room cleared out the closer it got to warm-ups, you leaned back against a table and took a deep breath, letting it out seconds later and feeling yourself relax.

You weren't even playing in the game tonight and you were nervous. It felt a little weird, having both brothers having to play each other. Sure, they'd done it before during the regular season...but this was different. This was to get to the Stanley Cup Finals– and one brother would go, while the other one wouldn't. It made you anxious. You check your watch to see you have some time to grab a water bottle from the lounge before the game started and you left the training room.

No sooner than you stepped out of the room and started to make your way down to the lounge, were you then pulled away by your wrist and cornered by Tyler. "Jesus, Tyler," you sighed. "You scared me."

"Sorry, I just wanted to talk," he said, an arm extended out towards the wall and holding himself up. "So what's up? I can tell something's up with you."

"Really? Oh no, uh," you coughed, shaking your head. "It must be the nerves of being on the bench tonight."

He rolled his eyes, "nice try, but you've been on the bench before." He let his arm down and rested his shoulder against the wall, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "Care to try again?"

"So, like...I applied to two schools, one here in Houston and the other...USF." You sighed, your shoulders collapsing as you caught sight of the locket resting just below the open collar of your polo. "USF is one of the top programs in the country and U of Houston was my backup...and I– I'm just trying to figure out where to go."

"Do you want to go to USF?" Tyler asked nonchalantly.

"Eh."

"Eh?" He laughed, standing up straight. "You just said it was your top choice, so obviously you want to go there. Why aren't you more excited?"

You huffed and crossed your arms, biting the inside of your cheek before looking at him. "Because it's in Florida, it's a two-year program, we just started dating and I–"

He tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow again. "And you?"

Defeated, you slumped back against the wall, staring back down at your shoes. "I don't want to leave us...you. I just–" you turned to him, uncrossing your arms and raising them halfway, only to let them drop back down at your sides. "This is new and I don't want to ruin it."

He opened his mouth to say something when Jamie's voice erupted from the hall. "Seggy come on, let's go!"

"Hey, Y/N, can you help me unpack this tape really quick?" Craig called out, moments later.

You sighed, looking back down at the floor when Tyler reached for your hand and squeezed it, causing you to look up at him. "We'll have to talk about this after the game, okay?" You nodded and he leaned in, kissed your cheek, whispered "congratulations," and then disappeared down the hall with your brother.

Okay, okay that didn't go as bad as you thought it would. Now it's just time to survive the game and maybe you'd end up surviving the 'talk' you and Tyler were going to have afterward....maybe.

❒❒❒❒

Never has there been a time where you wanted to throw a water bottle as a ref or a linesman's face, yet in this game, it was a constant need almost ever five minutes. You were agitated for both sides, really. Calls were being missed, penalties being blatantly ignored– God, it led you wondering how people even managed to survive playoff hockey. Even though you could feel your blood pressure rise with every play, there was no better feeling than being there on the bench and watching it all unfold in front of you.

Yeah, this is definitely what you wanted to do for the rest of your life.

You've been around hockey your entire life. Whether it was watching your older brothers play or even taking a shot at it yourself– hockey was a constant thing in your family. You've watched enough games in your 22 years of life that could fill an average person's full desire for hockey. But this, being there on the bench, knowing that you're the person that helps the players keep up with their performance and take care of their bodies– was a whole ‘nother thing.

It was a never-ending rush of adrenaline and you had Dave and Craig to thank for this entire experience. Why Craig decided to hang back in the training room and let you take his place on the bench, you had absolutely no idea. But you weren't going to complain, one bit.

Your eyes drifted up towards the jumbotron and saw the time remaining in the second period. there was only a minute left and the Stars still had a 2-1 lead. Dobby was a brick wall, you hadn't seen him play like this and his regular season stats were already fire. As time dwindled down and the shifts were changing you heard a whistle blow and play stopped. Dave looked at you and nodded his head. "You go to Jamie, and I'll go help, Klinger."

"Me?!" You squealed, holding onto the fanny pack rested around your waist.

"Yes, you– it's okay. Jamie's tough, probably nothing too serious." He replied, stepping out onto the ice as Rads helped him over.

You felt your heart begin to race as Bishop opened the door for you and you stepped out onto the ice. Big Rig was right there to help you over to Jamie and Tyler skated over soon after, making it a faster trip over to your brother. The adrenaline was surely pumping through you now as you quickly looked out into the crowd and saw the thousands of people surrounding you. "Oh wow," you gulped, holding onto the towel in your hand.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Big Rig laughed as they brought you to a stop in front of Jamie, who was pushing himself up onto his knees.

"What's up big boy?" You asked, looking down at your brother before crouching down on to the ice. He was bleeding on his forehead, just beneath his helmet. "Holy fuck you're bleeding!"

"Well yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what the red stuff is, Y/N." Big Rig chuckled, resting against his stick.

"I think the fucking puck nailed Klinger and ricocheted and hit me," he sucked in air through his teeth as he checked in on Klinger. When his eyes settled back on you he chuckled. "Wow, I guess they just send anyone out on the ice these days, huh?"

"Dave said it wasn't this serious, though!" You panicked slightly, bending down more to get a glimpse at his cut as you reached for the helmet. "This is why mom got the two of you visors for Christmas, you bonehead."

You examined the cut to make sure his helmet hadn't chipped and gone into the wound. You pressed the towel against his head as he laughed. "Shut up or I'll ask Craig to let me stitch you up too– that should be fun."

His eyes went wide at your suggestion, just as Jordie came to a stop by your group. "How's he doing doc? Is he going to lose a few brain cells?"

Oh, how the announcers for the game must be losing their minds– three Benn's on the ice in a Western Conference Championship game. Talk about social media gold.

"It wouldn't matter if he did," you said, nodding back down at Jamie. "I'd still be the smartest in the family."

Jamie groaned and started to stand up without you, but you kept the pressure on his forehead until he was fully standing and took over the pressure on his own. "Yeah, yeah, shut up the both of you."

You walked alongside him as Tyler and Big Rig followed you back, Jordie trailing not too far behind. When you reached the bench, Jamie walked back to the training room and you stepped back into the bench. "Looking good out here, Y/N. I guess the degree hasn't gone to waste, huh?" Jordie joked.

"Oh yeah," you laughed, tugging on our fanny pack and motioning towards the tunnel. "Putting good use to it all seven hours I've had it."

Jordie just winked as he skated off back towards his own bench, just as Dave and Klinger came off of the ice. Klinger looked fine, but since the period was ending soon, he was probably going back to get ahead of the crowd and get checked on. "Everything okay?" Dave asked, nodding his head down the tunnel.

"Oh yeah, just a cut. It doesn't need any stitches or anything, it can just be cleaned, if at most glued. But don't tell Jamie I said that, I already said Craig would let me stitch him up."

Dave threw his head back and laughed as the two of you turned towards the ice as play resumed. He crossed his arms, staring out at the ice before nodding ahead. "I meant what I said, Y/N. I can give you a recommendation to Tom. You've got the heart for this, the skills and you're a hard worker."

You bit the inside of your cheek, still unsure if you were even going to be in that area, though the offer was nice. "Can I get back to you on that?"

Dave nodded as the period came to an end and the players made their way down the tunnel. "Sure thing, kid. But I can tell you one thing, even just based on seeing you in the training room and then just now, you're a natural for this."

You stood there for a few moments longer, taking in the empty ice and the full arena. You took a deep breath and sighed as his words replayed in your mind.

'You're a natural.'

'You've got the heart for this.’

'The skills...'

You tapped your hand against the wall and smiled, before turning away from the ice and walking back down the tunnel.

❒❒❒❒

This couldn't be real.

You had to be fucking dreaming right now.

The Stars were headed to the Stanley Cup Finals and Tyler had scored the game-winning goal in the last shootout round, to send them there. The moment that the puck flew past Markstrom and the team erupted on of the bench, you felt like running onto the ice with them. Instead, you were attacked with a hug from Big Rig before he followed his teammates off of the bench and on to the ice. It was surreal, hearing the cheers erupt all around you.

It was almost deafening.

You couldn't stop shaking even as you watched the ceremony of the boys receiving their hats from the NHL and then the Clarence S. Campbell Bowl from the NHL commissioner. You wanted to cry when you saw Jamie lead the team over to get their picture behind it. Even by the time that everything had calmed down and the families were allowed to come on to the ice to congratulate their players, it still felt like it was a dream.

When you finally got onto the ice with your family, the whole thing was a big blur. It was like you hopped from picture to picture, congratulations leaving your lips time after time as your heart swelled with pride at what your team had accomplished. You were standing back, watching your parents snap pictures of your brother and Katie and relaxing, taking in the scene of the fans still cheering on the boys.

"Y/N! Y/N!" You looked to your left to see Candace and Cassidy both headed your way with big smiles on their faces. The three of you hugged as you looked around for Tyler, knowing that he was probably done taking pictures with his family.

"Can you believe it?" Cassidy smiled, holding onto your arm. "They're going to the Stanley Cup finals!"

"Who would've thought that our average player of a brother would be the won to score the game-winning goal that sends them to the finals, huh?" Candace joked, her eyebrows raising as she looked past you.

You turned to see Tyler making his way over to you and you felt your cheeks redden and your heart race. "I think that's our cue to leave, but come find us afterward! We want pictures." Cassidy smiled, squeezing your arm before pulling Candace away.

You laughed as they walked away just as Tyler had reached you. He was hearing his hat proudly on his head and had the grin you loved so much plastered on his face. "Well hey, there champio–"

Before you could even say anything, he sweeps you up into his arms and kisses you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pouring every bit of love you had for him into the kiss before he pulled away, still holding you in his arms. "I want you to go," he huffed, out of breath.

"Huh?" You asked, tilting your head to the side.

"To USF. I want you to go."

"But–"

"No, no buts." He placed you back down onto the ice and kept his arms around your waist, looking down at you. "This is your dream. That's the best program in the country and don't try to tell me different because I even heard Dave say it."

Your jaw dropped, still stunned at what he was saying. "But–" He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you sighed. "But I don't want to leave you..."

"We can hang out when we come to play Tampa. I can visit, you can visit and we have our summers." He took the hat off of his head and placed it down onto yours, adjusting it with a smile. "Besides, I'd be able to brag about how my smoking hot, and genius girlfriend got into one of the top athletic training programs in the country."

You felt your eyes brim with tears once again before you brought him back down and kissed him again. When you pulled away, you kept your eyes closed and your forehead pressed to his. "I love you."

"And I love you," he replied, kissing your forehead before pulling away from you and intertwining his fingers with yours. "Now come on, I need a picture with my lucky charm of a girlfriend and the Clarence S. Campbell bowl so I can post it on Instagram and brag about the both of you."

You threw your head back and laughed, as you tucked yourself further into his side, not even caring that you guys were surrounded by the press and the fans. "You're such a dweeb."

"Yeah, but I'm your–"

"Don't even say it, Seguin," you chuckled, looking up at him. He just tapped the brim of the hat on your head, knocking it partially over your eyes before giving you a wink and that childlike grin that was enough to bring the butterflies in your stomach alive.

[hockeylvr59]

What Ifs, Part 2 || Jeff Skinner

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: And I am back on my Skinner bs after seeing him play live this weekend. Enjoy part two which has been a year in the making. 

Warnings: um some playful sexual innuendo/cursing, alcohol consumption. 

Word Count: 2,546

_____________________

As you’d expected...your chance encounter and beach ‘date’ with Jeff had led to a million questions by your family, questions that for the most part, you didn’t have answers to. What you hadn’t expected to come from it all was regular contact, let alone a budding friendship. Yet, you were reminded of it all on a daily basis as texts from Jeff filtered into your phone. As the summer progressed, he’d send clips of his training or comments about how his sisters were driving him crazy and how he needed backup to handle them. 

By the time school was starting back up, in mid-August, you’d started having at a minimum a weekly conversation with Jeff. And if you were honest there was nothing you loved more than hearing him laugh as he told stories about his preparations for the upcoming season. It was crazy that you’d spent one afternoon with him and yet you found yourself missing his touch, his scent, and his attention in general. 

You’d been talking about your university’s football season and trying to get to as many home games as possible when Jeff suddenly stopped you, his excited tone of voice exclaiming that he had a fantastic idea. 

“I should come visit you and you can take me to a game…” His words were rushed and it took a moment for your brain to process them. 

“You really want to come here?” You found yourself asking, once again blown away at the fact that Jeff considered you a friend, and not just a friend but that kind of friend that you would cross state lines to visit just out of the blue. 

“Of course I do!” He exclaimed. “I won’t really have the chance to make a trip once the season starts so this would be perfect. I can spend time with you and you can teach me about your school’s football team.” 

With Jeff’s mind totally made up, plans were made in short order for Jeff to come down in less than a month. You didn’t have classes on Friday’s so he’d come down late Thursday so that you could go do something on Friday before the football game on Saturday and he’d leave Monday morning, taking in all of the time that he could without distracting you from your own priorities too much. 

In the week leading up to Jeff’s arrival, you worked not only to secure him a student guest ticket but also to get all of your classwork done so that there wasn’t anything to keep you from enjoying his visit. By the time he arrived Thursday evening, you were practically bouncing with the excitement of seeing him again, your body filled with more emotions than you could dissect. When his arms finally wrapped around you tightly in a hug, it was like everything was right in the world again and you clung to him for far longer than was probably necessary. 

Thursday evening was spent simply, curled up on the couch, tucked into Jeff’s side while a movie played on your tv. By the end of it, your head was resting in his lap and his fingers were carding gently through your hair, putting you to sleep. You’d insisted that Jeff didn’t need to pay for a hotel, that you could sleep on the couch and he could have your bed. He was too much of a gentleman for that though and so after bickering for a moment, the compromise was made that you were both adults that could share a bed. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d slept so well.

Friday was spent showing Jeff around your college town, pointing out your favorite hang-outs, the best restaurants, which buildings you’d had classes in and stories about the campus’s history. He’d insisted on trying one of the restaurants and swore he’d pout if you even attempted to fight him about paying for the meal. A pouty Jeff, while adorable, was the last thing you wanted so needless to say you didn’t put up a fight. 

With a 1pm kickoff Saturday morning, you were pulling Jeff out of bed shortly before 8am, giggling as he groaned and protested getting up so early. Still...there was tailgating to be done so you insisted, retreating to the bathroom to get yourself dressed before returning to find Jeff tugging a t-shirt with your school’s logo on. 

“When did you get that?” You inquired, secretly touched that he’d go to the effort to fit in and support the school that you attended and loved. His answer had been a casual ‘after we made plans’ that merely left you nodding as you grabbed your phone and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. Within a half-hour, you were in the section of the parking lot belonging to your program’s tailgate with some wine coolers and beer bottles tucked into a disposable bag. 

The look on Jeff’s face as he took in the crazy environment was priceless and you handed him a beer before grabbing a drink of your own. Music was pumping from tents all around you, there was every type of food you could think of and alcohol was everywhere. It didn’t take long for you to find some of your regular classmates and you were quick to introduce your friend Jeff to them. Here, especially with people already on their way to drunk, it wasn’t likely that anyone would recognize him and he could just be a simple Canadian boy and not a hotshot hockey superstar. 

Though you hadn’t doubted that Jeff would fit in just fine here, it still amazed you to see just how seamless it really was. You’d each had a few drinks before heading inside the stadium, just enough to be buzzed really, but the way that his cheeks flushed was really too much for your heart to handle as you reminded yourself repeatedly that as attracted to him as you were, you were just friends. 

As you curled up in bed that night, Jeff went on and on about how much fun he’d had and how he’d never met a girl that knew as much about sports as you did and how impressed he was by your passion for the sport. You’d joked in return that you had to make up for your lack of athletic ability somehow and you’d fallen asleep to the sound of Jeff’s giggle in your ears. 

~~~~~~

With a weekend that had flown by too fast in the rearview mirror, you were back to strings of texts and the rare phone call as both of your schedules got busier. If you had thought you’d missed him before, it didn’t come close to how much you missed him now. You knew that you were in way over your head with your feelings for him but you were determined not to screw things up because he’d given you no signal that he felt the same way. If you could only have him as a friend, well that would just have to be good enough. 

Still...you were counting the days until Jeff played in Pittsburgh. 

As the game approached Jeff hinted at you coming to the game but as it was a Tuesday night game you led him to believe that you had an evening class and wouldn’t be able to go. Of course, that wasn’t true but you wanted to surprise him. You also didn’t want him paying for your ticket but that was another matter entirely. 

With your ticket secured and just a few days to go, you messaged Jack Eichel on Instagram (he was the only one on the team who knew who you were) and asked him if he could arrange for you to see Jeff after. You’d explained how he couldn’t tell Jeff because you wanted it to be a surprise and with Jeff’s captain on board you had nothing to do but count the mere hours until you’d see him for the first time in two months. 

Arriving at the arena with your Penguins jersey covering your body, you made your way down to the glass near the bench side corner of the Sabres warm up end. You had no problem getting right by the glass since the sabres were the away team and once again all you had to do was wait. You couldn’t help but wonder if Jeff would spot you on his own, you certainly weren’t opposed to that idea, you just didn’t want to be pointed out to him. 

As the Sabres took the ice, you couldn’t help but notice the grumpy look on Jeff’s face as he skated around a few times before crossing to the circle opposite you to stretch. On the other hand, Jack spotted you immediately as he passed and the smirk on his face at your shared secret showed that he was clearly enjoying waiting for his teammate to notice. 

For the first half of warm-up, Jeff was completely oblivious to your presence and the grumpy look on his face stayed there as he had the equipment manager look at his glove by the bench. With Jack just a few steps to your right you decided you’d finally had enough and tapped on the glass to get Jack’s attention. 

“What’s up with grumpy?” You screamed through the glass, your cheeks flushing as Jack yelled back ‘what do you think....he’s upset a certain someone isn’t coming…’ You hadn’t realized that leading him to think you couldn’t come would affect Jeff so much. Sighing, you shook your head before mouthing ‘go get him…’ 

Though you weren’t happy that anyone in the immediate vicinity of you was now aware of what was going on, as you didn’t want to be the center of attention, you couldn’t bear seeing Jeff look so upset when you knew that it was something you had the power to fix. The moment you had given him permission, Jack went off to track Jeff down, chasing him into the corner where you were standing. Jeff seemed beyond confused but when Jack turned him around to face you, you watched as it all clicked in Jeff’s brain and suddenly a wide smile showing off his dimples took over his face. 

With his mission accomplished Jack skated away but Jeff stayed for a moment more, pressing his gloved hand to the glass in front of you as if he couldn’t believe that you were real. He motioned to your jersey with a critical expression and you couldn’t help but shrug, smirking back at him through the glass. Your eyes stayed fixed on his for a moment longer before you smacked the glass in front of you. 

“Get back to work!” You yelled through the glass causing Jeff to skate away, this time absent a grumpy look. 

As warmups ended and you headed up to your seat it was with a light heart. There was something different seeing Jeff smile and then knowing that it was there because of you. 

By the time the clock struck zero in the third period, you were feeling slightly conflicted emotions. You were disappointed and a little annoyed that the pens had lost but at the same time Jeff had scored and the pride you felt because of that and knowing you were so close to seeing him had you bubbling with excitement. Waiting in your seat as the arena started to clear out you slipped out of the jersey, leaving you in a white long sleeve shirt with a buffalo on the front and the number 53 on the back. Your jersey now tied around your waist, you headed to the elevator to meet the Sabres employee Jack assured you would be waiting there for you. 

From the hallway outside the away locker room, you could hear the hollering and celebratory energy from inside and it only helped to fuel your own anxiousness. You weren’t sure why you were feeling this way but over the past 4 months, you realized that you were closer to Jeff than you’d been to pretty much anyone else in your life and it felt like there was something more to your relationship. Today, seeing the way he reacted to you only made you wonder more if he felt the same way, though you would never bring it up because you were too scared to lose someone you cared about so much. 

You were suddenly pulled out of your jumbled thoughts by the sound of the locker room door opening and when you looked up Jeff was coming through it, dressed to the nines in his suit. 

Unable to help yourself you dashed across the few yards separating you and threw yourself at him, your arms wrapping around his neck as he quickly caught you. 

“You scored!” You exclaimed, words quickly silenced as his lips pressed against your own for just a moment before pulling away. You didn’t have a chance to even think about the fact that he’d kissed you before he started speaking. 

“You’re here….I thought you had class tonight?” The awestruck tone of his voice made your heart skip a beat and your fingers teased at the curls at the base of his neck as you made a guilty face. 

“As if a measly class would keep me away…” You started before quickly continuing. “But really...I don’t have class. I just said that to mislead you because I wanted to surprise you.” Jeff’s jaw dropped in shock and he pulled away just a bit. 

“Wow...fuck you.” He teased, pretending to be far more offended by that than he really was. Without a second’s hesitation, you leaned closer, stretching so that your mouth was just below his ear. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you.” You teased back, and when you pulled away again Jeff’s cheeks were bright red and though he opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, no sound came out. 

Thankfully, before you could question whether maybe that statement had been a mistake, Jeff had composed himself and his hands at your waist were pushing you away from him just a step as he gazed down at the clothing covering your body. 

“Wait...is this?” He questioned, turning you a bit to confirm the answer to his own question before a satisfied grin took over his face. “It is.” He declared. 

“What…?” You shrugged. “You may never get me to root against my team...but I will always root for you.” You could feel the grin radiating through Jeff’s body as he held you close for another few minutes, soaking up what little time he had before he had to get back on the bus. 

When the time came that he did, in fact, have to leave, your bodies both sunk a little as he pulled away. “I’m so glad you came.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. Trying not to cry, you simply nodded at him and kissed his cheek before stepping back to watch him walk away. Just before he was out of sight he stopped and called your name. 

“Oh...and to answer your question. I would very much like that.” 

Maybe he did feel the same way after all...

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Axess Episode 1 Review.

Presenting Rockman’s new Style... Change.

I can’t promise that I am gonna review the rest of the episodes of Axess nor will I make it very long since I have already stated that this is my least favorite season, but this Corona Virus situation is already driving me crazy so I might as well vent my frustrations here.

Fun fact:

This season never aired in Latin America so I had no idea that there were more seasons beyond the virus buster episode. I watched it in English thinking that it was an episode from the first two seasons that I missed, it started with the same made up intro from the last season, but to my surprise the episode opens in Net City, something I don’t remember ever seeing in previous episodes, and then I saw Megaman’s art style and my confusion became excitement right before I heard the English dub the made me cringed so hard that it almost ruined the show for me, until the writing did that later on. (But I like Rockman’s english voice, it’s kinda hot n.n)

Episode tittle: Cross Fusion!

The episode opens with Rockman fighting two Navis at once in the Net Coliseum, and I’m already loving the art style and how they don’t show his face during the battle until Netto’s voice tells him that he already got their battle pattern. It was like they were saying, “ It’s him! it’s the Rockman you know and love after so long! And he looks slightly shinier too”!

 BTW, I’m watching this with Spanish subs, that were sadly not made by yours truly.

Anyway, Netto sends the long Sword and the Yo-yo chips that appear with a new cybernetic themed background and... WOAH WOAH WOAH! TWO DIFFERENT ART STYLES IN THE SAME EPISODE?!

You thought I wouldn’t notice?

Not even five minutes in and this episode is already hitting me with inconsistent art to save in animation, which wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t noticeable.

Rockman defeats the two Navis and returns to Netto who gives us but a glimpse of the new PET design before the tittle card appears.

But worry not, for the next scene shows us what the Advanced PET model looks like with this short and kinda lame commercial.

“Believe in the heart of the chips”, it’s the vibe I’m getting here.

And I also never thought it would be possible for the Spanish subs to write something dumber than “Plug-in your heart”. (It’s roughly saying, “Do plug-in into your heart”)

We then join Netto skating with Meiru on her scooter who is basically shaming him for acting weak in his battle until the end, and do you see something wrong with this image?

That’s right, good ol’ Rush is there on Meiru’s scooter for no reason, except to remind me that Rockman will never materialize in the real world like him.

Then they bump into Chisao, yes, Chisao, who wastes no time in telling the audience that Dekao is in Jawaii for some reason.

What little Mr. exposition forgot to tell us is why is he there instead of Dekao.

Netto and Meiru invite Chisao to go with them to Scilab, which is now gonna be a very recurrent place, to deliver a bag to Netto’s dad who is in Japan working on something, and once he’s done he’ll go back to abandoning his family to travel the world. 

He is working on a top secret experiment, so everyone is of course invited to watch it.

These are Officer Mizaki and his Navi Prismman, who are not gonna be important until very later in the season where they’re affected by this show’s equivalent of drugs, but right now they are gonna remind us of the dangers of human trials.

Eguchi Meijin makes a comeback, since the last time we saw him he was making a late advertisement for Battle Network 3 in episode 51. He tells Netto and the others that the experiment is called Cross Fusion and that it is the next step after the Virus Buster episode where Dr. Hikari brought a bunch of cyber data into the real world, which is bringing a Net Navi into the real World through its operator’s body? That was already possible without the human body!

What is the purpose of Cross Fusion then? Other than to turn the series into a superhero kind of show for western audiences.

There is no real explanation of why they want to do this or why Cross Fusion is the only way to achieve this purpose. Why not simply materialized the Navis like in the last episode? You can’t really argue that it was the viruses intervention that made this possible, because a “good” scientist would try to reproduce this result without risking the life of a human being, there certainly must be other ways to do so. 

It seems that the only excuse they have is that Netto’s dad was not aware that this event happened because he was asleep during the entire episode, and if Netto never mentioned it even once.

“I wanna risk my life too since that experiment reminded me how cool it was when Rockman materialized back in Jawaii when your Dimensional Core program was corrupted by viruses, so I would most definitely die just to see that happen again.”

Dr. Hikari: O_O

Yuichiro obviously denies his son’s suicidal request but just then, viruses take over Scilab, and the room they are in is locked down with the ventilation system sucking in the air giving them 15 minutes before they run out of oxygen.

We cut to a commercial break where we see a spoiler of Netto getting his wish right after his dad said no.

It’s just Rockman with a different outfit design and brown hair and eyes.

As per the norm, Netto and Meiru plug-in their Navis with new animations that are gonna be recycled since they changed the art style once again.

Rockman and Roll are sent into the computer via infrared beams and we see that the computer is full of Mettools and Spikey viruses, while showing us Roll’s bum for some reason.

I feel robbed, I want my Rockman butt shot!

Time to change the art again.

Here is something new that I like, they are now showing how the Mettool viruses can block shots.

This probably means that these are high level Mettools since those are the ones that block attacks in the games.

I also like how they get creative with the chips they use like the Aqua Sword.

Even Roll’s Aqua Tower looks more powerful.

You almost feel sorry for those viruses.

They even make the Black Hole, a chip I find pretty useless in the games, look epic.

Or maybe I’m just not using it right.

They keep running out of air, and once again Meiru has to show that she is the weakest of them all by fainting right before Roll is attacked by a Fire Dragon virus. Netto’s dad catches Meiru and manages to plug-out Roll just in time so... Oh, hmm, that doesn’t look right.

It would be fine if she was his daughter, but that isn’t the case so it just looks wrong. Adult men shouldn’t be holding little girls like that! O~O

Rockman then avenges Roll with another cool Aqua Sword animation.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/0ee15af9e77ae94c845bcdf6895629db/tumblr_n3ipukz8hC1rzkxhio8_250.gifv

Sometimes screen shots can’t do a scene justice.

More Spikey viruses appear and the culprit is then revealed, a new Navi named Savageman AKA Beastman.

Stop holding her like that, it’s weird!

Rockman attacks him with his cool Aqua Sword move, but he only deletes the Spikey viruses around him. Then he uses his Rock Buster and starts shooting at Beastman who isn’t affected by any of them.

I’m sorry? What Beastman is saying here is that to him, Rockman is just a puppet being controlled by a human, showing us that the anime is once again differing from the games, but I’ll talk about that later.

Netto hears that they only have 3 minutes left of air and decides to destroy what we learned from the first season by suddenly making him an expert on Program Advances without the help of the Aqua Custom Style, this time it’s the Z- Cannon or Zetta Cannon.

I honestly like the new animation for the Program Advance, every time Netto inserts more than one chip they appear as little blocks piling under each other until the third chip comes in and pushes the first block up. This easily shows how the chip programs are compatible with one another since that is how a Program Advance is activated.

The Program Advance seems to be effective as Beastman logs out, the computer is back to normal, the room opens up again, and the day is saved... Or so we thought!

This is were the episode starts to feel a little rushed. Right after this we get another mysterious figure who clearly isn’t the Navi we saw watching Beastman’s performance just a couple of minutes ago.

First episode and we already have two more bad guys introduced? And to make things worse, this second villain shoots some type of missiles from outer space that surround Scilab and traps it inside a Dimensional Area.

Yeap, that’s right, the Dimensional Area Netto’s dad is still working on has somehow ended up in the wrong hands, and they made it even better! Because get this, not only does it allow viruses to materialize in the real world, but Navis as well! Cross Fusion has already become pointless! However, the show doesn’t see it that way.

The Mettool and Spikey viruses, along with Spark Bees this time, begin destroying Scilab. Since they are all inside a Dimensional Area, Netto remembers what Meijin said before and decides to go try his luck with Cross Fusion to save everybody, and runs downstairs to get a Synchro Chip.

Considering that Cross Fusion is still being tested, would this be considered something brave or very stupid?

Netto encounters the Mystery Navi from before who is stealing all the Synchro Chips, and tries to Ash Ketchum his way into stopping him.

Seriously, what is it with young shonen protagonists and trying to attack a powerful non human antagonist face on?

After that failed attempt, Shademan calls Beastman who also materializes to destroy what remains of Scilab while he runs away with the Synchro Chips, except for two chips that he clumsily drops when grabbing them all with one hand. Netto sees the chips and decides to use them to fight Beastman, and what surprises me here is that Rockman doesn’t really object to this despite knowing that it could be dangerous, and he has always been seen as the smart one.

Obviously, Cross Fusion is a success as we get the typical anime transformation sequence, but to be honest, I’ve seen better.

No, the first statement is more accurate. This is a fusion.

And this one too.

Two different characters that merge together to create an entirely new being that shares traits from both predecessors.

No, in fact, It is not Netto turning into Rockman, it’s just Netto in Rockman’s clothing. The only difference here is that Netto fights more aggressively than Rockman.

Except for that time Rockman stabbed Stoneman in the eye, he never really maims anybody.

After this, Netto tries to use a Battle Chip but forgets that you need a PET for that, a PET that disappears somewhere after Cross Fusion. So he decides to use the Rock Buster, but since they’re in the real world, the buster gets a super boost that sends Netto flying, with the shot leaving a hole not only on the building, but on Beastman himself.

So... I love seeing shots of Rockman’s muscular body, but when you give it to Netto it just doesn’t work for me because you know his body doesn’t look like that, making this feel out of nowhere. 

Also, “Flipante”? I’m pretty sure these subs are from Spain because they use a lot of words that I’ve never heard before.

Since Beastman was maimed and mortally wounded, he runs away, the Dimensional area disappears an the episode ends with Netto back to normal with his PET reappearing again, him fainting, Rockman calling out to him worried that he might be dead, and an aerial shot of a partially destroyed Scilab.

What do I think?

Well, if you read my previous post, “The problem with Megaman NT Warrior Axess”, you already know my main issues with this season, starting with how different it was from the first one.

Like I mentioned before, Axess never aired in Latin America so it took a while for me to realized that there was another season. I got used to watching reruns of the first season over and over again because of how much I loved it, and after I watch this episode for the first time, in English, I was very, very confused at the end. I immediately felt that something was wrong, that the show was gonna be  different and I wasn’t sure if it was gonna be a bad thing or a good thing. It turned out to be both because the writers couldn't settle on a tone for this new season, so I was ambivalent from beginning to end.

I’m just gonna mention the good things. The general animation is way better that the majority of the episodes in the first season, the new visuals give it a more cybernetic feel to it which goes perfectly with the theme of the show. Roll and Meiru do more in battle, even though Meiru is still the weak girl character that needs to be saved by a big strong man, ew. The new PET design and the infrared beams they use to send the Navis into the Cyberworld is much more futuristic than the cords from the previous season that are vulnerable to being cut, which, again, is very fitting to the theme, as well as the animations when inserting chips and activating P.As.

The idea of Viruses and Navis materializing in the real world is revolutionary, I just don’t like how it is set up.

The Advance PET was introduced in Battle Network 4, while Beastman appeared in Battle Network 3 as a World Three Navi and having an operator named Inukai. Here, however, Beastman is a solo Navi that is called a Darkloid, and instead of being man-made, Darkloids are portrayed as A.I beings that were spontaneously created from...Bug frags, I think? Yeah, that’s another thing I don’t buy from Axess. 

The mystery Navi is Shademan who was introduced in Battle Network 4 and is in fact a solo Navi, but he was created by Dr. Regal, the other mystery character that appeared, but Shademan is also a Darkloid here.

Say what you want about Forte and Gospel, but their origins are purely man-made and make sense, and even if viruses and bug frags are also man-made, having something instantly created out of Virus remains doesn’t make sense unless a higher power is involved, which hasn’t really been specified in Axess.

If you are one of the few people who read my posts, I appreciate your support and are free to share your opinions too.

[iwaswritingmywayout]

BTMH: Chapter 3: Ice Castle Hasetsu

Y/N ran across a bridge to get to Ice Castle Hasetsu, the ice-skating rink her and her brother would always skate at when they trained in Japan. Y/N walked inside and saw Yuuko standing on her tiptoes to put away a pair of rental skates.

“Excuse me,” Y/N said.

Yuuko didn’t turn around. “Our regular hours are over,” she said.

“It’s been a while, Yuuko,” Y/N said.

“Y/N?” Yuuko said.

Y/N nodded, not saying anything.

Yuuko turned and ran up to the counter, smiling widely. “Y/N! I didn’t think you’d be coming back to Hasetsu so soon!”

Y/n nodded, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly.

“Oh, you came to skate, right? Go ahead,” Yuuko said.

Y/N took her hood off and looked at her. “Huh? I can?” She asked.

“You just want to skate alone for now, right? I’ll protect you,” Yuuko said with a wink.

Y/N mumbled a thank you before heading through the doors to the rink.

‘Yuuko was our (Yuuri and I) rink mate and two years our senior. When we were little, she was really good at skating. She was my idol, the Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu. She’s still pretty now, too. I always wanted to look as pretty as her.’

~Flash Back~

Young Y/N and Yuuri skated up to a younger Yuuko. Both Yuuri and Y/N had on black snow pants, gloves, and a blue and olive sweatshirt with the first letter of their first name on it. They both stopped in front of Yuuko. They both raised their arms and smiled widely.

“Ta-da!” The twins said at the same time.

“Wow, Y/N and Yuuri!” Yuuko said.

Yuuri beamed as he put his hands behind his head. Y/N just stayed their smiling, not doing much else.

Takeshi skated into him, knocking him over. “Stay out of my way fatso!” He shouted.

Y/N glared at him before helping her brother up. “Don’t be rude to my brother!” She shouted, waving her fist angrily.

“Don’t be mean to the new kid!” Yuuko shouted.

“Fatso! Fatso!” Takeshi kept shouting.

Yuuri frowned and flailed his arms as he whined.

“Hey, stop calling my brother fat! You’re a jerk!” Y/N shouted at Takeshi. She had always been the not-so-nice sibling.

~a few years later~

Takeshi, Yuuko, Yuuri, and Y/N were sitting around watching a tv show featuring Seonghwa Nikiforov. He was skating his gold-winning program at the Junior World Championships in Sofia, Bulgaria. Takeshi, Y/N, and Yuuri were sitting on a bench while Yuuko spun around, holding up one figure to show ‘number one’.

“Russia’s Seonghwa Nikiforov! He won the gold in the Junior Worlds with the highest score in history! He’s so cool!” Yuuko said.

Y/N and Yuuri’s eyes widened, they both gasped at the exact same time.

A few more years later, Yuuri and Y/N stand together as Yuuko walks up to them at school. Yuuri was holding a brown poodle puppy in his arms.

“Huh? You have a poodle now, too?” Yuuko asked.

“Yeah! I named him “Seonghwa”!” Yuuri said.

“It was my idea,” Y/N chimed in.

Yuuko laughed, smiling widely. “You both really like Seonghwa, huh? I hope I can see you both compete against Seonghwa soon,” Yuuko said, a bright smile on her face.

~flashback ends~

Y/N sat on a bench, tying her skates up tightly to ensure while she skated they wouldn’t become loose. Y/N stood up and turned around, handing her black glasses to Yuuko. “I’ve been working on it since last season ended for me, please watch it,” She said softly, a smile on her face.

On the TV at Yu-topia Katsuki, Seonghwa is shown skating to Stay Close to Me (Stammi Vicino).

“Last up is Seonghwa Nikiforov. It’s clear he is Russia’s hero! The cheers are deafening! After the short program, he leads Giacometti, in second, by a huge margin.”

“All right, Seonghwa! Get ‘em!” Minako said, pounding her hand on the table. “Y/N, Yuuri! Your favorite, Seonghwa, is about to start!”

“She’s not back yet,” Hiroko said.

Y/N glided onto the ice, bowing her head once she stopped. She knew Yuuko would be the only person to see her perform it, so she wasn’t as nervous as she normally was.

“Huh? This is…” Yuuko trailed off.

“In this program, he has four quads planned. Here comes the first quad. A quadruple Lutz! Very clean! The next quad is his signature move. How will it go? A quadruple flip! He lands this one, too!”

Y/N glided along the ice. She did the same movements as Seonghwa, all the way down to the way he was holding his arms, she did her best to do it exactly like he did.

“Flying sit spin. The music is “Stay Close to Me”.”

Y/N did the flying sit spin perfectly, as expected since it was her best move, the one move she was always doing perfectly, that, and her step-sequences.

“Given that he has a million female fans worldwide, he’s sure free with his charms,” Minako said, swaying from side-to-side due to how drunk she was.

“This program brings out a new dimension in Seonghwa Nikiforov’s performance.”

“You’re drinking too much, Minako,” Hiroko said.

“A quadruple Salchow!”

“This would tug at the heartstrings more if it were a younger, more naïve person. Not a hottie like Seonghwa, but…let me think…” Minako said, trailing off as she got deep into thought.

Y/N continued to skate around the rinks doing various jumps and then the step sequence.

“A triple Lutz! A triple flip! Now, the last quad… a quadruple to loop, followed by a triple toe loop! He’s landed all his quads! Now, a combination spin!”

Y/N skated, then went into the combination spin, before standing in the final pose. She was breathing heavily and her face was flushed, clearly tired by the routine. Yuuko stood at the side, her eyes shined and she covered her mouth with her hands before slamming them on the rink boards.

“That was super cool! A perfect copy of Seonghwa! Awesome! I thought you’d be depressed or something!” Yuuko said.

Y/N nodded, wiping off her forehead with her sleeve before responding. “Well, I was for a while, but eventually I got tired of feeling depressed, so I got to thinking. ‘What could bring my love for skating back?’ Then it hit me. I remembered when I copied Seonghwa with you and Yuuri. Yuuko, I’ve-“ She started, but not finishing due to her gulping.

On the TV at Seonghwa was smiling for pictures with San and Mingi.

“And now we have a co-ed’s singles consecutive five-time winner in the World Figure Skating Championships! The victor is Russia’s Seonghwa Nikiforov!”

“I’ve always…” Y/N started, not finishing her sentence.

Axel, Lutz, and Loop popped up from behind the rink boards.

“Axel, Lutz, and Loop! Haven’t they gotten so much bigger since you last saw them?” Yuuko asked.

Y/N nodded. “Wow, they have gotten very big. I swear the last time I saw them they were practically babies,” she said. Then it had really hit her how long she had been gone.

“Y/N, you really did get fat!” Lutz said, giggling once she finished talking.

“Are you really retiring?” Loop asked.

“You’ve never had a boyfriend?” Axel asked.

“Hey, girls! Sorry, they are such skating groupies,” Yuuko said.

“They’re all your fans, Y/N. Welcome back!” Takeshi said, skating over before putting an arm around her neck.

“Nishigori!” Y/N said.

“You can come any time to practice, the Nishigori family’s always got your back,” Takeshi said, smiling widely.

“Y/N, go, go! Lose weight!” Axel, Lutz, and Loop said at the same time.

‘During the 5 years I was away, I tried to ignore a lot of things by focusing on skating.’

Y/N was hoping on one foot on a wooden park bench, while cherry blossom petals were carried away by the light breeze flowing around. Y/N knew she needed to get back into shape if she wanted to be able to continue skating, so she thought she should start as soon as possible.

“I wonder what I need so I can keep skating on my own,” Y/N thought aloud.

Once Y/N finished exercising, she made her way back to Yu-topia Katsuki and sat down at one of the tables and looked at the TV. On the TV there was a special feature of Jongho Plisetsky. He was leaning against the rink boards drinking from a water bottle, looking indifferent while his coach Yakov lectured him.

“Here in St. Petersburg, Russia, rising star Jongho Plisetsky is finally gearing up to join the senior men’s singles and co-ed singles competition.”

Jongho did a jump on the rink, and Y/N’s jaw dropped. “What’s with that jump? Whoa, another one?” She said, shocked by the jumps he was doing.

“Under Coach Yakov, the 15-year-old is about to join Seonghwa Nikiforov in ushering Russia into an era with two champions.”

~Flashback~

Jongho was leaning over Y/N, scowling down at her as she frantically wiped her eyes, trying to hide the evidence she had been crying.

“Just retire already,” Jongho said as he scowled at her.

~Flashback End~

‘The pressure’s on now.’

Y/N was sitting cross legged on the floor of her room. She looked up at the posters of Seonghwa on her wall and sighed, resting a hand on her cheek.

“I’ve got to skate on the same ice as Seonghwa someday,” she said.

[lazuliblade]

2019 GPF Men’s FS

So I did actually type most of this up while watching a live stream, but got sidetracked with conversations for a solid two hours after the FS ended, and fell asleep before finishing up. I had to shorten what I wrote for Yuzuru because it got so long and reminiscing. Maybe I’ll post a longer thing later this week when I have time to properly edit a long post. This post is kind of redundant now that everything is over, but I figured I may as well put this up so it doesn’t lay rotting in my drafts. Boyang Jin FS: 160.77 Total Score: 241.44 4Lzfall, 4T2T good, 4T awkward fall, 3AEu3S, ChSq, FCSp4, 3A, 3Lz3T, 3F so light, StSq3, ChSSp4, ChCoSp4 The first few jumps he looked a bit stiff, but as soon as the second half started he really got into it. He was so expressive in the step sequence and the audience was really supportive. It may have only gotten a level 3, but I really liked it. Some of my other favorite moments were: the FCSp4 done to the music transition with the record spin/scratch and strings, and the spin to the ending piano notes which I thought was particularly gorgeously timed. The commentator (Chris) saying about the audience: “they’ve been so supportive of all of the athletes” Dmitri Aliev FS: 131.26 Total Score: 220.04 4Lz, 4T fall, 2Tpop, 3F fall, FCSp2, ChSq1, 3A hand down, 3Lz3T was great on the music, 3LoEu3S, StSq4 beautiful, ChSSp2, ChCoSp fall part-way through. Oh this was so hard to watch. He held on until the end, but my heart hurts. The entry on the 4T was strange and he fell over the back of his heel when he landed. On the 3F fall, he took a long time to get up again and the crowd cheered for him in support - that was wonderful to hear. I wonder if he got injured there? His following flying camel spin kind of just ended like he couldn’t hold it for long. He started to rally back, but then with the final spin he kind of fell part-way through and no base points were given. His face just fell and he looked so resigned.  Alexander Samarin FS: 167.51 Total Score: 248.83 4Lz3T, 4F hand down - the axis was so strange in the air, 2Tpop, FCSp4, 3A2T, ChSq1, 3A2T, 3LzRippon, 3Lo, ChSSp4, StSq4, ChCoSp4. The smile on his face was nice during the Step Sequence. I’m still not sure how I feel about this program. It feels like it needs more... something. Not the best skate, but he got through it. The 3Lz was particularly nice. Kevin Aymoz FS: 178.92 Total Score: 275.63 4T3T, 4T had a good landing but then he slipped on the running edge, 3A2T, 3Lo out of turns, ChCSp4, 3A, 3LzEu3S, 3F, ChSq1, FSSp4, ChCoSp3, StSq4 I love how the music starts so tranquil and his skating reflects that, and then it starts to build up into a triumphant sound by the end. Right after the 3Lz combo the music starts to change leading into the 3F, and afterward, he does this great spread eagle and his signature slide across the ice in his ChSq. I loved seeing his large smile along with the music swelling triumphantly. Oh man, his scream when he saw his FS score nearly gave me a heart attack. I looked away during the slow-mo recap to type some of this up, and here I am listening to the announcer calling for the scores when suddenly I hear a scream. They had to turn the mic down in the Kiss&Cry because he and his coach were so exuberant. That was great to see.   Yuzuru Hanyu FS: 194.00 Total Score: 291.43 4Lo beautiful, 4Lz gorgeous, FChCoSp4, StSq3, 4S, 3Lz, 4TEu3F<(step-out), 4T2T, 1A(pop), FChSSp4, ChCoSp4 Oh my god that was such a momentous skate to watch. The intensity of it was something else. I’m so proud of him for landing that 4Lz after not being able to put it in for two seasons, and overcoming that mental block.  The opening 4Lo was beautiful without the slightest wobble on the landing, the 4S as the third jumping pass had a bit of a lean but he landed it anyway, then came his 3Lz which was interesting to see because it felt like you could see his natural delayed rotation more clearly this time around compared to usual. I wonder if that was a result of having the 4Lz as well? Then the 4TEu3F looked so nice in the air but he had to step out at the end a bit - the tech panel ended up calling the 3F underrotated, too (it didn’t look under in the slow-mo at all....). He did a 4T2T next - he had planned a 4T3T but I think he didn’t have enough energy or he didn’t feel secure enough in the flow to do a 3T - and he popped his last jumping pass from the planned 3A3A sequence into a 1A. But more than the jumps, the entire program felt like he was on an epic, challenging walls and scaling them with grace. I never get tired of the choreographic moments he has everywhere. I was praying so hard at the end that his legs would hold out long enough for the hydroblade, the travelling stars into the camel spin, and for the spins themselves. I’ve seen enough skaters sit or lose balance on a spin to never take them for granted as an easy “he’ll finish with no problems” last element. Heck, there was an example of that earlier in this very event. I couldn’t help laughing with him when he went into his ending pose and couldn’t hold it longer than a split second. He lost balance a beat after the music finished, while the note was still ringing, and ending up partially leaning over before completely bending himself in half to just sit there on the ice. It reminded me so much of 2012 Worlds when he skated so hard his lips turned blue, and 2012 Finlandia and 2013 Worlds when he ended gasping and collapsing on the ice much like today. His first 5-quad program, and he gets through it with quite the fighting spirit. I can’t help remembering how the season after 2014 Sochi Olympics when he wanted to put in 3 quads in the Free, some people thought that that was crazy and lots of people doubted he had the stamina to pull something like that off. Now look at him doing a program packed with content, on top of 5 quads: one being the quad he pioneered (4Lo), one being a jump some people thought he might never bring back (4Lz), one being a quad that people said he should give up on because it just wasn’t going to be his jump (4S), and two quads (4T) in combination. I’m kind of confused about the score, but hmm. I guess he did pop his last 3A-3Asequence jumping pass and that would have given him like 15 points (18 or so if they gave him good GOE?). But even so... Hmmmm. Nathan Chen FS: 224.92 Total Score: 335.30 4F3T, 4Lz, 4TEu3S, ChCSp4, 3A, StSq3, 4S, 4T, 3Lz3T, ChCoSp4, ChSq, FChCoSp4 The jumps felt solid. There was just the slightest wobble on the 3Lz3T, but the rest were clean and solid. After they’re all done, in the last part of the program with the spins and choreo sequence, at least it looks like he’s having some fun. Did he almost trip in the beginning of his choreo sequence? I’ll have to go back and see that again later. Mmmm, I feel like some of the movements in the hip-hop(?) section could be sharper, but the season is only half over. That’s something he can work on going forward. Final Standings: 1st - Nathan Chen 2nd - Yuzuru Hanyu 3rd - Kevin Aymoz

[morosemariposa]

Catching Up on Shoma Uno

I unabashedly love Shoma Uno. I’ve been a fan and followed his career since the 2014-2015 season, his last junior season. I’ve paid attention to Shoma’s growth and development throughout his career and I’ll continue to do so until he retires and beyond that as well. I’ve been eagerly awaiting for Shoma to return since the season started and I’m excited for his start and continued development in the sport. This long post is just me floating on a sea of all the Shoma content from the past two weeks.

Friends On Ice 2019

Shoma was so cute at this ice show. I love that he’s invited to it every year and it genuinely seems like a great ice show to attend. It’s definitely one of my favorites to watch every year. Shoma in the opening number was very handsome and cute at the same time. I don’t know how he pulls it off but he does so well. Then Baseball Shoma in the finale was just the best thing ever. It’s nice to see him have fun, interacting with retired skaters, and be pressure free at these ice shows.

“Rhapsody in Blue”..........I didn’t know I needed Shoma to skate to this music. I have a list of music I want Shoma to skate to at some point in his career and I’m adding “Rhapsody in Blue” to it. I’m glad he skated to it and seeing him move in different ways is refreshing and exciting. Now that I got a glimpse, I want more. I want a “Rhapsody in Blue” program choreographed by Charlie White. I can imagine it already, beautifully choreographed movements to light, lyrical music paired with a stunning blue costume. Skating Gods make it happen.

2019 JapanOpen, Season Debut

It’s finally time for my most anticipated event from this start of the 2019-2020 season. I’ve been waiting for this event since I found out that it would be Shoma’s season debut and the first appearance of his new FP “Dancing on my Own”. When he announced that his free program would be to Callum Scott’s cover of Robyn’s “Dancing on my Own” I was excited because I like the song but more than that I love Melancholy Shoma. I love his “This Town” EX and I had hope that the program would be in a similar vane. Turns out it’s that and more. I like the program. I really like it. The more I watch it the more I like it because I see the little things he does with his body movements and I’m excited for the development of this program throughout the season. Right from the start of the performance I like the movement he does when he dances with an invisible partner. That movement is known as a move to imitate dancing and I like that it’s the opening of the program. When the the singing comes in I love the little leg dance shuffle (I don’t know what it’s called) movement Shoma does. It’s cute. Then the lyrics say, “there’s a big black sky over my town”, and the costume makes sense to me at that point. He’s the dark sky over a night satellite view of earth. Then the lyrics say, “and yeah, I know it’s stupid but I just gotta see it for myself”, and this is just Shoma’s journey this season. He’s on his own, people think it’s ridiculous but he wants to find his skating for himself. “I’m in the corner”, he’s literally in the corner of the rink. It’s on the nose and I love it. He does my favorite combo in figure skating, the 3A+1EU+3F, it’s been a while since he’s done it clean. I like the stsq, especially the little quick steps and the hop. He glides through it with ease and I know it’s going to look better later in the season. He hits some piano notes in the FCCoSP and it reminded me of how he would hit the piano notes in “Moonlight Sonata” the same way. Little details like that are why I like it, they’re subtle but effective. The cantilever on the vibrato of the song is smart, a layback ina bauer or spiral would also be effective. I like the chsq as well, the hop, the arms reaching out, the hand on the neck are my favorite parts if it. Then the classic CCoSP into the ending pose and once it’s done Shoma turns off and I thinks its a joy to see him visibly go On/Off mode at the start and end of a program. I’ve seen this performance many times. It’s not clean, there were jump issues, he only did one combination but got all his levels and I think it’s a good program for him. Like I said before I love Melancholy Shoma programs. Last but not least, team Japan greeting Shoma at the boards was the best moment of JapanOpen for me.

Carnival on Ice 2019

Shoma performing “See You Again” in a new costume and an encore consisting of the stsq from “Great Spirit” was interesting. I’ve always liked “See You Again” and I liked it even more when I learned what inspired the program. He clearly forgot some of the choreography and he even said so in the interview after the ice show. He was very cute and giggly. His encore of the “Great Spirit” stsq was erratic. He was fast and really skated to the speed of the music. He stumbled a little and addressed his mistake at the end. It was adorable. After all this content, I’m even more excited for Shoma’s season. I said this in my previous Shoma post and I’ll say it again, I believe he’ll be okay. This is an experimental and transitional season for him, he wants to find joy in competition and himself in his skating. I’m all for that. Good Luck Shoma!!

[conniel-ship]

August 15th, 2038. It started like a day like any other. Daniel opened his eyes when his internal alarm woke him, at 6:15am. The same routine as every Sunday: quietly preparing everything for a round of omelettes.

Careful not to wake anyone, moving with the efficiency of a domestic android. The night before had been long, with Caroline and John fighting. So much fighting, and with Daniel always trying to keep Emma out of it. Always putting her headphones over her ears with a smile.

But every day he hoped would be better than the last, even if reality tended to not follow his hopes. Daniel frowned, pausing in his chopping of an onion. Hope; a funny word. A human word.

Do androids pick up human traits?

He pushed it out of his mind. His job was not to think. It was to cook, clean, and take care of the family. But, most of all, take care of Emma. Daniel didn’t know what friendship or family should be, but everything he saw in movies and on tv told him that Emma was his friend.

Perhaps a bit like a little sister. His lips curled up into a smile as he picked up the cutting board and put the onions into a bowl. Was his smile his programming, or something else? He couldn’t tell. But what he knew was that this was his home. Where he belonged.

It wasn’t perfect; by some standards it was broken. The fighting clearly worried Emma, but Daniel would protect her from the conflict. He always did.

After he finished prepping the food, he went to the window, looking out over the city, and waiting for the Philips to awaken.

He knew every curve of every building, but he looked anyway. He looked over the one building whose lighting changed with the seasons. Red and green near Christmas, pink when the cherry blossoms bloomed. Orange in the fall.

A breeze rippled the surface of the pool.

Daniel stepped outside and let it brush over his skin, feeling the coolness before the day warmed up. These quiet moments, when no one watched, and he could observe the world. A simple, kind life. Routines. Easing the stress around the house.

He’d be there for all of it. As Emma grew older, he’d still maybe be her android. Or he’d take care of Caroline, with Emma coming to visit. So long as he wasn’t left with John. The previous night, John had yelled at him for noting that Emma didn’t like too much salt in her food.

“Don’t tell me what my own daughter wants!” John snapped. Daniel stayed quiet after that; they’d been through this before. Daniel knew her favorite color even though it changed (this week, it was periwinkle; she loved the big colors from the crayon box).

Daniel was the one that took her ice skating, that knew exactly how long sunscreen lasted while she was swimming. What brand of lemonade she liked. Her father hadn’t taken the time for any of those things. While Caroline seemed grateful that someone helped, John did not.

Caroline had snapped last week and told John he was being resentful, envious. Daniel didn’t understand the feeling, but he understood the definition. Why would anyone envy him? He was just an android. He was no different than anything else that performed a task.

He. Of course, he’d considered himself “it”, at first. But Emma hadn’t liked that, and had kept calling him... him.

He stepped back inside and closed the door before anyone noticed, and waited, standing perfectly still in the kitchen.

John was the first to come into the kitchen, and he completely ignored Daniel, reading for the fridge to get the milk.

“Good morning, John!” Daniel greeted, but John just looked at him, frowning, and poured the milk.

Daniel could hear Caroline getting out of bed.

Emma arrived almost immediately, a big smile on her face. “Dad, Daniel is making omelettes today! He makes the best omelettes!”

“It,” John corrected. “It makes omelettes, Emma.”

“Let her call him what she wants,” Caroline scolded, coming out of the bedroom. “What does it hurt?”

“You can’t think of them as people. They’re tools. Like a car.” John shook his head.

“But you get rid of cars eventually, and we’re never getting rid of Daniel!” Emma grinned, and Daniel felt a smile growing on his face.

John looked from Emma to Daniel, and frowned.

“I have to head into the office,” he said, heading back into the bedroom and closing the door.

“On a Sunday?” Caroline asked, but got no reply. She sighed, reaching out to brush a stray strand of hair out of Emma’s face. “Go brush your hair while Daniel makes breakfast, kiddo.”

Emma took off, and Caroline watched after her.

“I know John doesn’t always like it, but I’m glad you’re here.” Caroline winced. “My omelettes are terrible.”

Daniel laughed. “It’s why I’m here.”

Emma reappeared, her hair now neat and tidy.

She wore the clothes he’d had her put out the night before, a striped shirt and shorts. They’d be visiting the dog park that day, and they’d agreed that it would be hot out and she would be comfortable.

John left for the day, and Daniel saw Caroline slump in relief.

Emma’s cheerful chatter over breakfast made him forget about John’s comments, and Caroline was laughing by the end of breakfast.

They had a lovely time at the dog park, and it was one the rare times that Caroline came out with them. It could have been a perfect day, until John came home.

Daniel didn’t know what they talked about, they went outside when the fight started.

He stayed in with Emma and out her headphones on her, like he always did. Trying to protect her from the conflict. It didn’t last. Caroline came back in, and John grabbed her by the arm. Daniel had seen this before, and he closed Emma’s door. He didn’t want her to see it.

Caroline tried to pull away and John hit her. Something in Daniel started to slip and he stepped between them. John told him to move.

Every order, Daniel had obeyed. Every instruction, followed. In that moment, he had a choice. Let Caroline be hurt, and by extension, Emma.

Or refuse.

Something warred in his programming, a choice.

Protect Caroline. The walls started to crumble.

“No,” he said softly.

“Move, or else,” John snarled, pulling his hand back and punching Daniel in the shoulder.

It registered as pressure and Daniel held his ground. “Don’t touch her.” He could hear his own voice shaking.

“You’re not part of this, or this family. You think this is your fight?”

He hit Daniel two more times, and Daniel shrugged it off. He could hear Caroline’s breath, her pulse. She was afraid.

John picked up his tablet and tapped a few times. “We’ll get one that follows orders. I’ll destroy you myself.”

Daniel felt something snap. “You wouldn’t dare.”

John held up the tablet, the purchase order for a new AP700 on the screen.

”It’s that easy. We’ll get one that follows orders, and you’ll be destroyed.”

The realization dawned on Daniel. He was defective. He couldn’t protect them if he was gone.

John looked past him to Caroline. “Then this bullshit will be over.”

All the times John had criticized Caroline. That he’d said how mad he was that Emma was so attached to Daniel.

Daniel would be dead, and he couldn’t protect them.

He’d given them everything, done everything they asked, and they’d have him destroyed. John has said that Emma’s attachment to him was like a kid for a hamster. John hadn’t been there when Emma’s hamster died. Daniel had, and had held her when she cried.

Everyone hurt. Daniel felt it sneaking into himself, into his mind, and felt like a pot of water set to boil. His hands started shaking. He didn’t want to die, but it was him or John.

Daniel didn’t want to die. He wanted to live, to paint butterflies with Emma. To ice skate.

John went to the living room, and Daniel went to get the gun. The shots were so sharp, so clear, yet surreal. It’s remarkable how fragile humans are, really. He was thankful that Emma had her headphones on, as Caroline started screaming.

As soon as John hit the floor, Daniel realized that as much as he didn’t want to die... he didn’t want to leave, either. He froze. What could he do? He had to get... out. Somehow.

Caroline screamed at him, calling him things he barely remembered. He’d thought he meant something.

He realized that he meant nothing. He could be that easily and casually gotten rid of. He was nothing. A thing, a tool, replaced like a car that didn’t have the newest features.

He didn’t belong here. He didn’t belong with humans. They’d always look at him like a toy, a thing.

The overwhelming feeling to want to stay with them despite this, despite it all... was this love? It seemed twisted, but Caroline and John also had a twisted version of love.

He could hear Caroline calling the police, telling them he was dangerous. That she feared for her life.

She said they’d come and they’re do what John didn’t. He would be destroyed unless he could find a way to stop them. He ran to Emma’s room and lifted her up. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, he wanted to tell her he’d made a mistake.

But all that came out is how he felt, about how he didn’t matter to them. He did t matter, he didn’t deserve to matter. And as the police arrived, he realized that Emma was the only thing that would keep him alive. He’d use her as her family had used him.

He hadn’t planned on putting her in danger, but it all got out of control the more confused he got. Emma screamed, her whole body registering fear and pain. He killed two more men before the negotiator arrived.

He wanted to tell Emma she’d be okay, but the more she struggled the more he felt distant from her. Where was the connection? How broken was he? A sadness seeped onto him. When the negotiator arrived, he called out to him.

“Hi Daniel.”

He’d come to do the job that Daniel failed at, protecting Emma. They exchanged some words but it fell apart quickly. Connor pulled Emma back and shoved Daniel off the edge. Connor had protected Emma. He’d done the right thing.

Connor’s hands locked around Daniel’s wrists.

They toppled from the building together, and all those memories went between them. Connor with nothing, Daniel with everything. The day one lives is the day the other dies.

The world lurched. Connor felt jolted into somewhere else. Emma hugging him. “I love you, Daniel! We’re going to be together forever, aren’t we?”

“I promise,” he heard himself say, in Daniel’s voice. “Forever.”

She smiled up at him and he felt the urge to protect her. To be there for her. He would have done anything to ensure she was safe, happy.

The memories kept flooding through his head. Decorating cookies with Emma, and letting her put a sprinkle on the tip of his nose. They laughed together, the sound bubbling out of her.

Sitting on the floor of her room listening to music, trying to sing along with songs that didn’t always make sense to him but he always knew all the words anyway. Watching over her while she swam in the pool, always diligent, always ready with a towel and a cold lemonade.

When Emma’s hamster died while her parents were at work, it was Daniel that held her when she cried. Connor felt that memory as if it were his own, as if it were his arms around her. As if it were him that carried that tiny furry body away.

The sudden feeling caused a pain in his chest that he couldn’t identify, even as his warning sensors tried to tell him how quickly he sped towards the ground. Something in him shattered and he locked eyes with Daniel. How…?

Daniel’s blue eyes were wide, panicked, and Connor felt it. The confusion. The fear. You have no memories before today. You saved Mr. Rainbowfish.

Of course a deviant would notice the fish he’d saved, but now the thought of saving a fish seemed obvious. He remembered helping Emma put the fish into the tank, after all. No. That was Daniel’s memory. The lines started to blur in the confusion of their shared memories.

A lifetime of memories, blinking by is their last seconds of life. This is my first mission. Connor gripped Daniel’s wrists, feeling a desperation for an answer. What’s happening? How can you live with all of this…

Feeling? It’s new to me, too. Daniel looked like he tried to make a sound and couldn’t. And I’ll never get to know what it means. He stared at Connor. I’m afraid.

Connor pulled Daniel to him, a memory of helping Emma with her homework flashing through his mind. It’s the mission. I’m sorry. I… How did he explain this? That he’d touched something that he’d never knew existed.

That he’d seen all of Daniel and wished this hadn’t been the circumstances. He didn’t know what he was trying to say, but Daniel seemed to know because he smiled.

I wish I could have known you, too, Connor. An expression came over his face and he frowned. I tried to hurt her.

Nothing could be done for it. Nothing could change this moment of falling through the air, of these beautiful memories mixed with terrible confusion. Connor considered flipping them around because he knew CyberLife would replace him, but that Daniel wouldn’t have that chance.

Maybe he could save him. He ran the numbers in his head and Daniel had a 2% chance of surviving if Connor took the impact. She’s fine. She’s okay.

The last memory she’ll have of me is… that. I killed her father. Daniel shook. What have I done?

Connor felt that pain in himself and he held on tighter. You wanted to stay here, with your family, Connor said. It was the only comfort he could provide given that Daniel’s actions had been wrong and violent. But underlining that point accomplished nothing. You… loved them.

That’s all that mattered to me-

They slammed into the ground, Daniel’s body taking the force of the impact. Connor’s systems flashed critical, telling that several components damaged. His thirium pump had ruptured, and this body would shut down in moments.

I’m sorry, Daniel.

The light hadn’t yet gone from Daniel’s eyes, and Connor could still feel the life in him through the connection.

Out of some inspiration of some memory he’d gotten from Daniel, Connor managed to move just enough to look at the other android as the life seeped from them both. He reached up a hand and brushed Daniel’s blonde hair to the side, wondering how it felt if he could feel more.

If he weren’t crushed by the impact. He put his lips on Daniel’s and kissed him. One last gesture of acceptance from an android that never should have been able to understand, but somehow could.

He could still hear Daniel and something in the other android stilled. Thank you.

Connor thought he might be crying but he couldn’t tell which of them was. Maybe both of them were. I’ll remember how much you loved them. I promise. Something in him felt broken and Connor didn’t think it could ever be put right, not after knowing someone this much.

The thought of shutting down seemed like a relief. Connor felt himself start to shake and he closed his eyes.

He felt Daniel’s mind shut down and Connor slumped, letting his head rest against Daniel’s shoulder. It had been seconds. Only seconds, but he’d known more about Daniel than he’d ever known about anyone. The fear faded away and Connor’s world went dark.

[woodwind-sensei]

Top 10 Figure Skating Programs: 2018-19 season

It’s been about a month and a half since the normal figure skating competition season came to a close, bringing us one step closer towards the next Olympic Games. With the advent of the new IJS, the programs we saw this year was nothing like we have seen before, and some of them rank among the best programs in figure skating history (that’s right, I’m going there, kids). Without further delay, here are my personal Top 10 figure skating programs from this season.

10. Mariah Bell (USA) “To Love You More” short program, choreographed by Adam Rippon

Mariah Bell missed an Olympic berth last season, mostly due to inconsistency and packaging issues. With a majority of the major U.S. ladies out of the picture this season, it was high time for Mariah to step up to the plate. I absolutely loved the upgraded packaging and content. The short program was so positive in spirit, and it was a pleasant surprise to see Adam Rippon’s competitive choreographic debut (to my knowledge) to be a job well done. I hope we see a lot more Celine Dion power ballad programs in the future.

9. Shoma Uno (JPN) “Stairway to Heaven” short program, choreographed by Mihoko Higuchi

Figure skating’s resident smol boi/silver princess Shoma Uno hit it big with this short program. Sexy, daring, and smoldering with intensity, Shoma showed his capability of the dramatic with this program. Though his inconsistency with the jumps made it hard to enjoy sometimes, he just has an x-factor on the ice that draws you in. That spread eagle after the triple axel gets me every time. It’s such a small moment, but it gets me so excited because I’m completely hooked by how statuesque he becomes in such an instant.

8. Peng Cheng/ Jin Yang (CHN) “Ophelia” short program, choreographed by Lori Nichol

Peng and Jin had been the pair that was ever the bridesmaid. When Peng was with veteran pair skater Zhang Hao and Jin with up-and-coming star Yu Xiaoyu, the federation decided to switch these two partnerships up. Yu/Zhang always got the political push, and that somewhat left Peng/Jin in the shadows. That all changed this season, and a lot of it had to do with this short program. They really found a style all their own: simple, uncluttered, yet packed with stunning elements and a cute and charming spirit. We’re going to be seeing them for a while, and I promise you, they will be a force to be reckoned with.

7. Wakaba Higuchi (JPN) “Energia” short program, choreographed by Shae-Lynn Bourne

Wakaba Higuchi might have had a spotty season this year, but this short program showed us why we fell in love with her in the first place. Shae-Lynn effortlessly displayed her power in this program, emphasizing Wakaba’s capability of flow and control while balancing fun and working the crowd. Japanese Nationals was the peak of this program’s life, and I certainly hope Wakaba uses this as an exhibition piece in the future. Shae-Lynn was also responsible for her legendary James Bond free skate, and will choreograph Wakaba’s short program next year to “Bird Set Free” by Sia.

6. Kaori Sakamoto (JPN) “The Piano” free skate, choreographed by Benoit Richaud

So, as all three of my online figure skating fan friends know, I am a Kaori stan. I love and appreciate children of pure sunshine with fantastic skating skills, and Kaori is just that. Though this program isn’t the best program she’s had, what I think works is that the program is built on momentum. It builds continually, reaching a climax with the choreographic sequence moving straight into that stellar triple loop. It also shows how Benoit choreography is supposed to look. Benoit Richaud uses a lot of angular movements but tries to combine it with the natural flow a skater must have over the ice. It works better on Kaori than opposed to his other big ladies’ client Bradie Tennell (USA). Bradie’s movements and angles are so sharp and harsh it seems forced and almost unwatchable, while Kaori’s smoothness over her blades is more pleasing and interesting to digest.

5. Sui Wenjing/ Han Cong (CHN) “Rain, in your Black Eyes” Free Skate, choreographed by Lori Nichol 

Sui and Han made a surprising comeback after withdrawing from the Grand Prix series due to an injury and surgery to Wenjing. This program was iconic. From the very opening poses, it absolutely melted me. I don’t think it’s as good as their Blues for Klook short from a few years ago, but this free skate was overall amazing.

4. Evgenia Medvedeva (RUS) “Orange Colored Sky” short program, choreographed by David Wilson and Sandra Bezic

Evgenia’s move to Brian Orser created so much buzz, and everyone was waiting to see what she would do with choreography not from Ilia Averbukh or Daniil Gleikhengauz. I have to say, they really hit the nail on the head with this one. I thought the rebranding to the ingenue was so great, and the little touches from Sandra really brought the program to life. Those opening poses were my favorite part. It’s unfortunate that this program was eventually shelved, because I definitely liked this program more in comparison to the Tosca program, but I understand how important it is to make sure Evgenia has authority over her own skating career. 

3. Gabriella Papadakis/ Guillaume Cizeron (FRA) Free Dance to Rachel Yamagata songs, choreographed by Marie-France Dubreuil

Papadakis and Cizeron continue to evolve their unique style with this amazing free dance. I was personally very curious to see how they would have topped their timeless Moonlight Sonata FD from the Olympic year, and this program is right up there with the best programs of all time. The way they look at each other throughout just draws me in. Even the softest touch with a finger puts them in total sync. My favorite moment is the twizzle sequence that really comes out of nowhere. It’s so smooth. And then that low, flat curve lift is out of this world. No one can touch this team.

2. Lim Eun-soo (KOR) “Somewhere in Time” short program, choreographed by Jeffrey Buttle

Eun-soo’s rise to the senior ranks was one of the big buzzes of the season. With a recent move to Rafael Artunyan, it looked like she was ready to take her competitive career to the next level. And this short program was BEYOND almost every program that everyone else had. Every element was beautifully woven into the choreography. She just looked stunning on the ice almost every time. The only criticism I have is that the sleeves on her costume were a bit distracting, but that’s such a minute detail on an otherwise ethereal program. 

1. Satoko Miyahara (JPN) “Song for the Little Sparrow” short program, choreographed by Lori Nichol.

This was the clear standout program of the season for me. Out of all the skaters from the previous Olympic cycle, I thought it would be hardest for Satoko to keep up with the pack. But I was proved wrong, with this short program proving that artistry is still what brings the audience into a skater’s performance. Everything is so perfectly placed: every hand had a purpose, every stroke had a meaning, and it all melded together to create a masterpiece. This is what skating should be.

So many of the programs were good this year, but these 10 are the ones I want to watch over and over again. They set the bar for the Olympic cycle so high, and it’ll be interesting to see if these programs will be surpassed. We’ve already had some interesting announcements in terms of next season. I’m particularly intrigued to see Benoit Richaud work with Satoko Miyahara. The premiere of that program at Fantasy on Ice wasn’t stellar, but I’m interested to see how the program will evolve as Benoit and Satoko continue to work together. Figure skating continues to bring it with amazing programs, so next season should be an interesting ride.