#and I did make the book cost basically nothing lol

[mangledmouth]

SEVEN YEARS OF POETRY IN A BOOK

HELLO ALL! I've been working on this project for a while; copying a lot of poems from my blog that had broken formatting from the old days, collecting the ones that I was the proudest of, adding in a number of poems from the archives that never saw the light before; and the result is this, DETRANSFORMATION, an extremely transgender anthology of forty-nine poems, which is 7x7, which I literally only realized now. What can I say, I went for quality over quantity over the years.

Do you like horror movies? Fairy tales? Complicated feelings about Lovecraft? Do you have familial trauma? Depression? Long slow years of regaining life? Do you like it when poems are about a specific ass situation? Do I ever have the loosely grouped into five sections that create an arc that's about 7x as clear in real life poetry ebook for you!

Gumroad was the easiest platform to upload to, and set a 'pay what you want' price of $1 and up; I wanted to prioritize people being able to read it if they want, with room to be more generous if you feel like it and can afford it. If you don't/don't want to use Gumroad, or want me to get the money without Gumroad fees, I've done my best to make the thank-you email for my Ko-fi a link to download the epub; the base price of a 'coffee' is 1$, so you can set your own price from there on up. This is my first attempt at both making and distributing an epub, so if anything is broken or inaccessible you can get in touch with me on here. If all else fails I will literally email it to you. I will convert it as needed. We will make this work.

that's it! I wrote a lot of poems and put them together (and made the cover! look at it it turned out so good!) and I hope you check them out. 🪦💚

[drakaripykiros130ac]

“The Greens are political masterminds compared to the Blacks.”

How many times have you heard this bullshit?

Their political incompetence is exactly what cost the Greens their victory in this war, and what gained Otto Hightower the gold medal in the “worst Hand in the history of Westeros” Olympics. And if you ask me, Criston Cole should have the silver for that one.

So, we’re talking about a faction who has been plotting to usurp the rightful heir, Rhaenyra Targaryen, for many, many years. They had so much time to prepare, and so many advantages: Alicent being queen and Otto being Hand, not to mention Rhaenyra and Daemon were away on Dragonstone for many years.

The Hightowers could have swayed things in their favor before Viserys’ death, and failed. They had to shuffle about, beg the Tyrells, send Aemond to Storm’s End with marriage promises etc. all after Viserys died. Lol. What have they done during those 10 years Rhaenyra was away on Dragonstone? They sat on their asses and did nothing. Not even prepare their puppet, Aegon Hightower.

Now, let’s list the Greens’ many, many mistakes:

1. Usurping the throne, instead of minding their own business and returning to Oldtown. Alicent doomed her entire line (children and grandchildren) with her schemes and thirst for power.

2. Not having Aemond and Daeron married by the time of the Dance. Boy, they really blew it with this one. Aemond was 20 when the Dance started and Daeron was 16. They could have been well married by the time Viserys died, and the Hightowers could have secured great alliances in time.

Rhaenyra’s sons were much younger than Alicent’s, and yet years before the Dance, she had Jacaerys and Lucerys betrothed to Baela and Rhaena, securing the Velaryons (a great power House) on her side for good. And certain people still have the nerve to say she did nothing.

Not having Aemond and Daeron married by the time of Viserys’ death, was a missed opportunity, which proves Otto and Alicent’s stupidity. They had the power, and Viserys was easily swayed, and they still screwed up big time.

3. Failing to get the support of their own liege lords, the Tyrells.

4. Failing to get the support of the Red Kraken and by extension, the Iron Islands. I mean, so few people realize that Daemon was the politically savvy one, knowing how to turn the Red Kraken against the Greens by appealing to his thirst for bloodshed. The Greens offered him the position of Master of Ships and he refused them, in exchange for a chance to stick it to the Lannisters. So basically, Daemon offered the Red Kraken nothing, compared to the Greens, and still managed to sway him to his side. That must have been so embarrassing for the Greens 😂.

5. Killing Lucerys. *claps* Well, done, Aemond One-Eye idiot. Before this, Rhaenyra was still determined to make peace with her half-brothers and half-sister, despite the usurpation, but not after they shed first blood and murdered her son. Hell no. Even Alicent and Otto were angry with Aemond for this one, because they knew how badly they screwed up.

The problem is that both Otto and Alicent lacked the intelligence to keep a bloodthirsty, idiotic maniac like Aemond in line. Not to mention that the one on their team holding their only ace-card, Vhagar, was this bloodthirsty, idiotic maniac.

6. Aegon Hightower choosing Criston Cole as his Hand. 😶 When I first read this part in the book, I was shocked. Definitely did not see that coming. Dismissing Otto as Hand (for the second time), I understand, considering that he really exudes incompetence. But what exactly went through the usurper’s puny brain when naming Cole as his Hand is beyond me. He is a military man. He is no political mastermind. Far from it. He is dumb as wood. He spent his entire career life kissing Alicent’s behind and only rising in ranking because of his hatred for Rhaenyra (because a young girl of 14 refused his advances).

There is a reason why Rhaenyra chose Corlys as her Hand, and not Daemon (like everyone expected her to).

Criston Cole led his forces in the Riverlands and got himself killed when facing the Winter Wolves. He didn’t even use his position as Hand. He just wore the pin.

Seriously, this has to be one of their dumbest moves. If I were in this usurper’s position, I would have chosen Tyland Lannister as my Hand, certainly not the overly subjective and creepy Incel who kisses my mother’s behind for a job.

7. Burning the Riverlands…for no good reason. *claps* Once again, let’s applaud Aemond’s idiocy. Basically, he decided to burn the Riverlands because their lords sided with Rhaenyra. That’s it.

Because of his stupidity, he basically secured the entire Riverlands on the side of the Blacks even after Rhaenyra’s death. The Riverlords fought for Rhaenyra’s son instead of agreeing to make peace with the Greens.

8. Choosing the Triarchy as an ally. What exactly made them think that they would gain any points by allying themselves with a great enemy of the people of Westeros? These are foreign savages that Daemon and Corlys have been fighting for years, and the Greens got in bed with them. Bringing an army of dangerous foreigners in a civil war is high treason against the Realm.

9. Burning Bitterbridge. The Reach was the Hightowers’ home, and not only did they fail to gain the support of the Paramount House there, but they also turned many of their bannermen against them. Well done. *sarcasm*

10. This one is one of my favorites: trusting the Goldcloaks. Otto Hightower knew perfectly well that the Goldcloaks were Daemon’s men, and despite making some changes and putting his son, Gwayne, as second in command, Otto still managed to get played and the Goldcloaks turned on the Greens when Daemon arrived in the capital.

The smart thing to do would have been to disband the Goldcloaks when the usurpation happened. The decision to keep them lost the Greens the capital.

11. Proposing to call a Great Council only when realizing that they were losing. So, once Rhaenyra took the capital, only then, did Alicent propose to call a Great Council. Why couldn’t she suggest that before usurping the throne? Alicent’s stupidity got her the nickname “Queen of Chains”.

12. Trusting the Dragonseeds who betrayed Rhaenyra. Seriously…how stupid could they be? Don’t they know that people who betray once have a tendency to do it again??? The Two Betrayers wasted no time and turned on the Greens soon after because they wanted the throne for themselves.

13. Trusting Larys Strong. This creep got his own family killed for the sake of power. He has no morals and is just like Littlefinger. Once he realized that the Greens were losing, Larys turned on them and most likely participated in poisoning Aegon the Usurper.

14. Refusing to name Aegon the Younger heir and sue for peace with the Black armies after Rhaenyra’s death. This basically guaranteed the Greens’ permanent defeat.

15. Trying to convince her eight year old granddaughter to kill her husband lost Alicent any freedom rights after she lost the war, and she spent the rest of her life in isolation and madness.

So, seriously, people who say that Otto and Alicent are politically intelligent need to get a clue and read the book.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

What To Get A 19 Year Old Boy For His Birthday...

Pairing: Platonic! Peter Parker & Reader; Reader x Bucky (but that's not really plot relevant)

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none as usual, you yell at Strange lol

Genre: super fluff

Summary: You happen to be the only person who still remembers Peter Parker exists and you are not about to hang him out to dry. So what happens when you take Peter in and basically become his guardian? Well- nothing is simple where super-teens are involved, but you and Peter can certainly handle whatever comes your way. Right?

***

You from to yourself, feeling like you're forgetting something even though you're just watching TV with Bucky. There's nothing to forget that you can-

"Oh shit-" You gasp sitting up suddenly. Bucky grabs the remote and turns the volume down.

"What?" He frowns shifting to look at you.

"I just realized Peter's birthday's next week and I haven't even thought of what to get him or what to do or-"

"Take a breath y/n. You still have a week." Bucky reminds you with a hand on your shoulder.

"What do I get a nineteen year old boy for his birthday?" You turn to him.

"Why are you asking me?" He blinks.

"You're a guy!"

"I'm a hundred and seven?! I haven't been nineteen in like eighty years, do you really think I would have any idea what a modern teen would want? I can guarantee my interests at nineteen were far different." He scoffs.

"Well what did you want at nineteen?" You ask.

"To avoid another world war?" He shrugs and your mouth drops open.

"I can't fucking stand you." You laugh shoving him lightly.

"Oh come on, how could I resist?!"

"You're so irritating! Be serious." You say fighting giggles.

"Alright, alright, what's the kid interested in?"

"I dunno, comic books, video games, nerdy stuff?" You shrug.

"I've never seen him play video games before." Bucky frowns.

"He plays them on his computer."

"He doesn't have a gaming system of some sort?"

"No?"

"Do you own one?"

"No."

"So get him one of those and a couple of games." Bucky shrugs.

"That's a great idea! And you said you wouldn't know what to get him." You smile.

"I'm sure you could've figured that out."

"You'll come shopping with me won't you? I have no idea what games to get for him honestly."

"How about you take care of the system and I'll worry about the games. Split the cost of this birthday thing."

"What do you mean you're going to worry about the games?" You frown.

"Just trust me. How much is the system anyway?"

"Probably three, maybe four hundred dollars. Depends."

"Sheesh. That's- pricier than I expected honestly." He hums.

"Yeah they can get pretty up there." You shrug.

"Alright then if you buy the system I'll take the kid out and get him an equivalent in games."

"You really wanna spend $600 on his birthday?" You blink.

"I mean he's lost his entire family and he never goes anywhere or talks of friends, we're probably the only people he's going to get gifts from. We can take some of the money from the Stark account." Bucky says. When Tony died there were a couple of accounts set up in your name to take over Avengers related expenses. One to be used for the team's avenging related tasks and one to help the team with personal affects- mostly Thor since he'll likely never have a job here but he's not here that much these days anyway.

"I don't want to get into the habit of using that money, in case of an emergency." You say.

"Baby, you're a witch and I'm a super soldier I can't imagine there will be many emergencies where that money is our only solution. Stark died and we ended up with enough money to change our tax bracket. Six hundred dollars would hardly make a dent and if ever we're in a situation where we do have to use that money for an emergency and we find ourselves $600 short I'm sure neither of us will look back and say 'if only we hadn't given that kid we're responsible for a great birthday gift he loved'." Bucky says.

"Very well, we'll use the Stark account and do it big for him." You say.

"There- now you can stop panicking about his birthday." Bucky pulls you back into his side and turns the volume back up on the TV. You don't point out to Bucky how it seems he's bonded with Peter a bit. At least to some degree since he's suddenly advocating for a big birthday gift for him. You know he'll deny it if you bring it up so you simply smile to yourself at the thought and settle back into his chest. You'll head to the store tomorrow to pick up a console and some birthday supplies.

*~*~*

"Bucky can you grab the candles from the bedroom please baby? They should be in the bag on my desk." You shout while carefully removing the plastic covering from Peter's birthday cake.

"On it!" Bucky calls back from the living room. Moments later, he hands you the opened candles.

"Thank you for opening them." You kiss his cheek and carefully stick the 1 and 9 on the cake without disturbing the Happy Birthday Peter written in blue frosting.

"How long do you think it'll take him to come back?" Bucky asks.

"I only asked him to get some salt, he should be opening the door any minute now." You shrug. "Do you think he suspects anything?"

"Nah, I'll bet when you didn't wish him happy birthday this morning or make anything special for breakfast that he assumed we didn't know or weren't going to make a big deal about it."

"Oh- I hope he's not moping through the streets thinking we forgot." You frown.

"I mean I don't-" Bucky stops suddenly. "He's coming down the hall, light the candles." He tells you. You grab the lighter and quickly light the candles, lifting the cake just as the handle turns.

"Hey. Got the salt you asked for-"

"Happy Birthday Peter!!" You shout when he enters the kitchen.

"Happy birthday kid." Bucky nods.

"You remembered my birthday?"

"Of course I did sweetie! Make a wish." You walk the cake over to him and hold it out for him to blow out the candles. He looks between you and Bucky a couple of times before closing his eyes and blowing out the candles quickly.

"Yay!" You say setting the cake on the counter.

"Thanks guys- I- I kinda thought you'd miss it."

"Nonsense! How could I? Oh and before I forget, your gift." You float the prettily wrapped box from behind the island, into the Peter's hands.

"What is it?"

"You know the point of wrapping a gift is for you to unwrap it in order to find out what's in it." Bucky tells him.

"I know- but I thought maybe you'd tell me anyway." Peter shrugs.

"No way! That ruins the surprise! Open it." You clap excitedly.

"Alright alright." Peter says. He quickly tears off the wrapping paper and his mouth drops open when he fully reveals the box. "You got me an Xbox?" His voice is full of disbelief but you can't say for sure if that's good or not.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"A-are you kidding?! This is like the best gift I've ever gotten!" Peter says throwing his arms around you. You hug him back relieved that the gift was a success.

"I'm glad! Bucky and I had no idea what to get you." You chuckle.

"You did great." He says.

"This is only the first half of the gift technically. A console needs games, so I'm taking you out to buy some." Bucky adds.

"No way- you don't have to this is already plenty I-I mean these things aren't cheap I don't wanna take advantage of-"

"It's not a question kid, we're going. After lunch." Bucky cuts him off.

"Really? Today?" Peter blinks at him.

"You wanna be able to set that thing up or not?"

"We'll go after lunch." Peter nods. "Are you coming with us y/n?"

"I can't hon I've got some errands to run." You say.

"I hoped we'd all be together for my birthday."

"Don't worry, we'll all be back for dinner together."

"Oh, okay, that's fine then."

He's probably nervous about spending extended time alone with Bucky but you think it'll be good for them to find common ground that's not contingent on you. Obviously, they're capable of coordinating if your anniversary is any indicator. You want to give them the chance to build on that.

In the meanwhile, you have something of equal importance to take care of. You push open the heavy doors to Stephen Strange's lair. He doesn't call it that, and he rather hates it when you do, but that's basically what it is.

"Strange!" You shout.

"Y/n! Hello, to what do I owe this visit?" He asks floating down to meet you. You walk up to him and smack your palm against his forehead. "I guess this isn't a friendly visit then." He hisses rubbing his forehead.

"Not quite." You roll your eyes. A quick succession of hand gestures completes the spell that unlocks Stephen's memories of Peter. He takes a sharp breath as his memories return.

"You know- there are less painful ways do that spell." He says after a moment.

"There are also more painful ways to do that spell be glad I just tapped your forehead." You say.

"Tapped is a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"

"I wanted to beat your ass. Count your blessings I didn't come in here and do that."

"I assume this is about Peter, then?" Stephen sighs.

"Help me with the math here, a 17-year-old comes to you and says 'I want to alter reality' and you don't consider- not doing that?"

"Well hang on I definitely warned him it was a bad idea but he was insistent that it was ruining his life."

"Dude he was 17. A 17 year old will think the world is ending because his best friend moves away before senior year of high school. Granted he's dealt with some pretty intense adult troubles but he's still just a kid and you're like pushing 50 he isn't the responsible party in that situation." You say.

"Watch it, pushing 50 is an exaggeration." Stephen points.

"Not. The point. You altered the very fabric of time and space not once, but twice at the behest of a child."

"It wouldn't have been twice if he hadn't totally screwed up the first one."

"You're the sorcerer not him. It was your spell. Your responsibility." You say.

"Hey he kept adding caveats in the middle of my casting and magic is tricky enough as is without that."

"I know how tricky magic is, which is why I wouldn't have an untrained teenager be part of casting a spell of that magnitude in the first place! It was a bad decision on your part and in the end you got to walk away as if it never even happened. And that might be even more egregious, you completely abandoned the kid after all that chaos."

"Well not completely, I knew the probability of you being unaffected by the spell and thus stepping in was almost 100%."

"Almost 100 isn't 100 and that's still abandoning. The moment you decided to do that spell for him you took on a responsibility." You say.

"So what was I supposed to do? Simply take him in?" He scoffs.

"Well when you take away his entire support system with a spell that is the least you can do Strange."

"He knew the consequences, and it all worked out fine. He's got you now." He shrugs.

"I wonder if you just don't hear yourself speak or if you truly struggle with emotional intelligence so severely." You take a moment to really look at him as if the answer will come to you if you stare at him for long enough. "Whatever, I didn't come here just to yell at you."

"Really? I couldn't have guessed that."

"Today is Peter's birthday. I came to fix your memories so you could send him a birthday card." You say.

"Why would I do that?" He frowns.

"Because your botched spell resulted in the death of his only remaining living relative? We're all he's got."

"Hey I fixed that situation to the best of my ability."

"And it didn't bring his aunt back. It also cost him every relationship he's ever developed. Send him a damn card. Today." You spin around and walk back towards the door. "Be glad I won't drop him on your doorstep. He doesn't deserve that punishment." You scoff, waving the doors open and heading back towards your own apartment to get started on dinner. 

"So how did game shopping go?" You ask Bucky and Peter once you're all sat eating dinner.

"Oh we got way more than I would've expected. Mr. Bucky was overly generous I just hope it's clear how greatful I am."

"You've thanked me at least 10 times in the last hour. You've been more than clear kid. It's your birthday so you can stop now."

"I'm glad you had a nice time." You chuckle.

"What did you get up to while we were out baby?" Bucky asks.

"Just some errands nothing interesting." You shrug.

"Nothing interesting?" He raises an eyebrow.

"A little of this a little of that. My to-do list never ends really. Some shopping, I hit the bank, made some visits. You know how it goes."

"I dunno about you but that sounds rather suspicious to me Peter." Bucky turns to him.

"Definitely." Peter nods.

"I clearly made a mistake letting you two spend the afternoon together." You roll your eyes grabbing yours and Peter's now empty plates.

"We will discover your secrets y/n." Bucky warns.

"Good luck with that." You chuckle kissing Bucky's temple before walking the dishes over to the sink.

"Oh no you don't, you cooked, I'll do the dishes." Bucky wraps his hands around your waist and moves you from in front of the sink.

"Fine fine, Petey you want help setting up your Xbox then?" You ask.

"Sure! Is it okay to set it up in my room?"

"Of course it is. It's your thing. Plus if you end up playing all day long I don't want you taking over my living room." You tap his shoulder.

"Cool." He chuckles.

It doesn't take you long to set up the system in his room, it's just a matter of plugging in it and then the rest is for him to do on his own, make an account and such. You're just about to leave his room when a small portal appears in front of him.

"Peter. Happy birthday." Strange says reaching through with a card. You hold back a smile as Peter takes the card with obvious shock on his face.

"T-thanks Mr. Strange." Peter says. Stephen nods and closes the portal without another word.

"I didn't think he remembered me." Peter blinks at you.

"The world works in mysterious was huh." You ruffle Peter's hair. "I'll leave you to get used to your new toy." You add before exiting his room and joining Buckyin the living room.

"Okay, so where did you go today? Really?"

"Honestly I had to go yell at Strange for some magic related things." You say.

"What did he do?"

"It's complicated. Let's just say it'll be a while before I leave our timeline in his hands if ever again." You muse.

"Ah is that why you didn't bring it up at dinner? So the kid doesn't ask about Strange?"

"Yeah basically." You shrug. You're sure Bucky means in terms of Peter not knowing that you're an Avenger or whatever but seeing as you can't explain the real reason you didn't want to talk about it at dinner you see no reason to correct him at the moment. Eventually you'll give him all the details, but today has been good for all of you, you'd like to end on a high.

***

Tagged Users: @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @buchi91

[mcalhenwrites]

I am still alive but have no spoons to directly reply to anyone right now. I'm working on stuff with roommate and therapy, but... unless the money situation improves, my life won't. There are no good days to return to. The problem is, I have a collective 39 years that have added to nothing. And I have still tried to be optimistic. To work through the chronic pain to write, work, and be there for my friends when they need me. (But it all gets harder the more time that passes.) When people still say I'm a good friend, I'm baffled. I don't see it. My writing isn't working out. I need it to, or I will not survive financially, and it just seems a little cruel to ask me to hold out and hold out for something that's never going to happen - all so I can die the hardest possible way in the end, bc I fought like hell to still be at the bottom. I'm not currently suicidal, but I'm pretty much just going day-by-day, trying to find improvements and realizing it all comes down to the same issue: I have no money. And the issue isn't "fix health to work more at a job that isn't writing" - I can manage fibromyalgia and IBS, and the latter costs money to obtain the correct food to do so. I qualify for medicaid; I don't qualify for food assistance now that I work a job! I quit crochet and people threw a tantrum, and if you want to see my self-defensive "I CANNOT DO THIS AND WILL NOT AND FUCK OFF" as a tantrum... go ahead. I do not give a fuck. I love writing. I did it even when I knew it was awful, bc I figured the more I did it, the more I would improve. I worked hard. It just isn't good enough for the world. That's okay. I have always been a loser at everything. Everything ties back to writing: I need to do it for my comfort and therapy. I want my stories out there bc I want to be able to offer other people that comfort. Too many of us come from abusive households, and some of us had it shape our mental health and our sexualities. I need to publish to make money to survive, bc I can write while bedridden. I can write while most of my body is sore and my eyes are half-closed and I'm bored but unable to play games or read or clean or anything else due to physical pain/exhaustion. (And yes, there are times writing is also impossible, and I'm crying in bed bc of the pain intensity levels.) Unless you have a chronic pain issue coupled with comorbidities, I don't want your lectures or assumptions. I don't want to hear that there is "help" while I watched the system try to push my autistic brother into a goodwill job that falls below min wage, and when he wasn't able to handle the responsibilities, they've basically refused to help him otherwise. Even though my brother is capable of many things, he is "disabled" in the system, and they want to insert him into a fixed situation they put all disabled people. I'm doing better than him financially, but when my parents go, he has no one. And I can't be that person, ever. I can't even get my dog back right now. I can barely afford to visit him, but I'm going to anyway soon bc I need to hug him or I really will fucking off myself. I need a lot of support to get my writing off the ground, and I'm never going to deserve it. If I did, it would have happened by now. My roommate wants me to keep trying, but... I don't have hope it'll work out. Right now, I'm so overworked I can barely get any writing done. And I'm working about 15 hours a week. At a low-demand job where I sit most of the time, and cleaning maybe takes 40 minutes at its WORST. Yeah. I'm pathetic indeed. I can't help but feel that way. And when I give myself a little treat to survive the next day, it's at a steep cost to my future. I can buy a book and go to the library, but at the end of the day, that's all time and money that should have been spent on work and saving. Life is punishing, and I just don't know if I can keep being punished. I'm not even this kind of masochist lol

[scarafrisbee]

–and they ask, is he your boyfriend? -> thoma x gn!celeb!reader

syn: you're a famous celebrity on the red carpet, signing for fans until you encounter a certain someone...

/ cute stuff, fluff???, kisses (ish), modern au, lower case intended, not proof read, pet names? (angel, love)

/ i'm back (like anybody cares) (the last time i posted a fic was almost a year ago) (idek what happened to me nd my crush) (lol not rlly they gave me a love letter earlier today) (valentines special??? lol)

the lights are bright enough to blur your vision; if you were new to this industry that is. walking on the red carpet, the fans scream your name and all eyes are on you. you're all too familiar, really. and of course, with fame comes with its own hurdles— like people prying into your personal life, invading general privacy or trying to figure out who the hell you may or may not be dating.

of no surprises, there's fans and other people on the barricades sticking out arms with items for you to sign. plenty of people screaming you, your name and whatever they can to catch your attention. nobody in particular catches your eye as you approached and signed their items with a smile, until you see him.

his endearing green eyes, charming smile— and who else would it be, none other than thoma? you adore him like nothing and nobody more. he's like the honey to your bitter tea, making everything better.

at this point, you've signed plenty of things. books, posters, even some people's phone cases or something. fans will always find a way to make your brain spin, don't they?

thoma smiles right at you, his hand out with a simple novel. "angel!" he blurts out with a silly lovestruck grin, "how have you been?" thoma asks, succeeding at painting a silly grin on your lips.

— he's your rock, staying with you all times. through now, then and every second he can in the counting future.

thoma looks at you with equal adoration, his eyes crinkling into a smile. "better," you responded with a quiet chuckle.

with the marker you held and signed a plenty of items with, you took the novel and signed it. thoma acts as though he was a regular fan, and not like your boyfriend.

looking upon the book before giving it back, it was one of those silly romance-centric works. cute little rom-com with no hopes and dreams crushed! wow. you could describe your dearest thoma that way, no? unapologetically loving, and all too generous.

very generous. and very sappy.

much so as he pulls you in with a smile, your heart fluttering upon a simple kiss on the amidst the flashing lights. cameras everywhere catch the moment as you shimmy off thoma with a laugh— "hey love, hey- not here!" you said in a whispery tone, gently rubbing your cheek.

your attention goes on elsewhere; you continue down the scarlet path, and like all events, reach the entrance to disappear into the depths of these rich companies and their events. you bid goodbye to those who border the barricades, walking in within the walls of many could only dream of coming inside.

all the while you enjoy your party and wine that would cost the regular person a lung, you encounter more people. interviewers, people with practically hearts in their eyes and the soft chatter of other around you.

the night is relatively peaceful after that, thankfully. nothing irregular could happen after, surely.

— what a ruckus you have made.

peace or chaos, whatever it is, it's basically a whole phenomena the day tomorrow. you wake up to posts about you and thoma, and that little cheek kiss he gave you the previous few hours before.

no wonder your phone's been blowing up all night and day. what is happening to the world?

"love? did you check twitter?" you asked thoma later that day, tilting your head in slight confusion. you're not exactly sure what's going on in the internet as of current...

"yeah, i said i was your boyfriend." thoma continued as he chuckled, "your fans just need you to confirm it."

note;; wowowow after a decade (10 months) and a difficult period in my life (i was just too busy) i finally post smth !!! wow. aaaaaa this was js to my get writing going again, i hope to post moree

[spicybees]

congrats on getting top surgery soon! May I ask how the process went for getting the consultation and all that? And what sort of options you had going into it if it’s not too much to ask… I’m hoping to get top surgery myself in a couple years and I don’t know where to start. Thank you so much!

THANK YOU SO MUCH I still can’t believe it’s happening I keep having to pinch myself. I’ll explain below the read more because it gets quite long but I’m more than happy to answer!

Okay so first of all I live in Australia so the process is drastically different than other countries like the US (sorry if you don’t live there either lol) but I can share my experience of the Australian process!

I could have just called up a surgeon without a referral if I chose to but if I did that I wouldn’t receive a Medicare rebate (which takes about 1k off the surgeons final price) so I went to see my GP first and asked for top surgery lol. Keep in mind I had not brought up my chest dysphoria at all to my GP in the 18 years she has been my doctor so it was quite a shock to her. And idk about other states but in Queensland they do require a year of supporting documentation to be considered for top surgery. But I got my way around that with sharing photos of me wearing a binder from when I was 14 LOL. That and my psychologist knowing a tiny bit but really nothing more that I was unhappy so mostly the photos.

I don't have private health so this was done uninsured which means I pay out of pocket for everything but honestly it wasn't too bad all things considered (private health wouldn't cover this anyway so I wasn't losing much) it totaled to about 9.3k for the surgeon, 2.6k for the anaesthetist and 2.8k for the day hospital. That with my rent and bills and food on top totalled to about 17k overall, but it would be much cheaper if you don't need to take as much time off as I do. I get a rebate from Medicare of about 1k (maybe more for the anaesthetist I don't know yet) so when I get that back in my account I would have only spent 16k.

I got asked some basic questions such as if I had any other parts of my body I was unhappy with in a similar way but it really wasn’t that invasive or much. I got my referral and received a call from the surgeons office the next day booking in my consult for the following month! I got asked if I had anyone specific in mind at my gp appointment and before I even replied she suggested the person I was about to say lol, turns out they were in the same year at medical school!

At my consult I explained what I was there for (she was unsure if she had it right bc I do identify as a woman socially and that’s not going to change) but she was amazing and understood exactly what I was looking for! She let me know I needed a psychiatrists letter of approval within 3 months of my surgery date just saying I’m like.. mentally stable and making an informed decision but I knew that already so I had my psychiatrist booked in the following day! I also had my surgery date booked the day of the consult (consult was 29th of August and surgery date is 25th of October) which was tentatively locked in until I got my psychiatrist letter. I also received my estimated cost for everything on consult day.

When I saw her the next day it was my last sorta time I had to explain like yes I’m a girl yes I know what I’m doing which had at this point become kinda annoying but luckily she was cool with it and wrote me the letter. I emailed that to my surgeon and then I got sent my admission paperwork and a bunch of forms I needed to return lol. I also got my pre op appointment booked and got told when I needed to pay by.

At my pre op appointment (earlier this week) I got measurements taken for my compression binder I have to wear 6 weeks post op and I also got pictures taken (awkward), and I was able to ask as many questions as I needed about the process. I suggest writing down a little list because you will forget in the excitement of it all (I had my best friend Shannon come with me for my pre op appointment to ask questions as well because they are going to be my caretaker post op).

Since that’s done and I’ve paid my surgeon I just need to pay my anaesthetist and hospital but that’s done closer to the surgery date. All future costs related to my surgeon such as post op appointments are all covered by the initial cost I paid, but if I need revision surgery that is an additional cost later down the line.

Now for procedure specific things..

Because of my breast size I was able to get keyhole and periareolar as well as double incision as options. I did end up going with double incision purely because I do not want to keep my nipples lol and the scars are meaningful to me. I was happy to know I had the options though! Felt really nice. She explained the options for scar placement and shape and asked whether I wanted to achieve a flat look or more a pec like look too. It was nice to work with someone who understood exactly what I am going for in this and it was really euphoric.

My surgeon does do drains BUT they do not need to be emptied or ‘milked’ as some people say online. She laughed and said that was an American thing and that I just need to monitor the output once a day. She also said I’ll be pretty tender but honestly won’t feel too shitty after and that I don’t need to worry about doing T rex arms lol, and to just work within my bodies limits. If my body hurts I don’t do it essentially.

As for time off from work I do work a physically demanding job that requires me to do heavy lifting, so I needed at least 6 weeks off. I ended up taking 9 off because it was leading up to Christmas and I don’t want to risk stretching my scars. I am going to be very short on money because of this but my health comes first. My boss was super chill about it and I have already sorted out a replacement for my hours since I am a manager and do need to be covered consistently lol.

Outside of that it’s really just waiting now! Shannon is taking 3 weeks of work themself to care for me but I really don’t think I’ll need their help physically for longer than a week, but the moral support is everything. My friends are also helping me out food wise the first week or so :3

I’m happy to answer any other questions people may have but do keep in mind I haven’t actually had my surgery yet so.. I only know so much right now.

[katies-anonymous-post-box]

its my sisters birthday in two days, and i was thinking about what to get her. but the thing is i think im the only one, and i've been kinda in charge of gifts for a while now. my parents kinda have stopped.. thinking hard about presents...? i dunno. for the past year or so from my sisters reactions the gifts i get and pick out for her are her favorites. its not that my parents are bad gift givers; they got my sister a cute notebook from her last birthday and she's been using it all year for her drawings. and they just booked a hotel water park thingy for her birthday which cost a lot, so they do care!! and there's a school camp trip thats in two weeks that she's going too (and im going to help out thanks to a program at our school) but so far all the gifts that i had to argue with my mom to buy were all from me. yesterday i had a small argument with her about gifts. she told me that she had an ideas, and that was to get her a bracelet. i asked her what else. she was quiet for a good 10 seconds and then i asked again, and she got all kinda mad and said 'i dont have to tell you everything' and i think i speak for all kids is that thats the reaction of a parent who doesnt know. its the same as because i said so. i've found two other gifts for her that are on sale and i hope that my mom will get them for her. she told me that 'i cant do everything for her' and yeah well i wouldnt be if i knew that you were already doing so.

i remember when i was in fifth grade, me and my friend were talking about our birthdays since they were on the same day, and after she told me about what she did she asked me what i did. i told her i went to a trampoline park. she asked what i got. i said i didnt get anything. she was shocked. my teacher asked us what we did too, and when i was answering she asked what else we did. i was quiet for a few seconds, and she asked if we went out to a restaurant. i lied and said that we did, that we went to a fancy one. she asked for the name and i said i didnt remember. we were actually supposed to go to one of my favorite places. it was simple and nothing fancy but i really liked their burritos lol. we didnt go tho, my mom (kindly may i add; i feel like i've portraying her as bad but i swear she's good) asked if she could just make salmon at home instead because it was easier. i said okay, because yeah i would have prefered to go out but i liked the fish she made. to my memory though she didnt end up making it. my mom actually got mad at us that year, so none of my siblings or i got any gifts. it was okay though. we still had fun though.

two years ago, a week ago my mom had to fly back to her old home because my grandpa (her dad) died. i cried in the front of the whole class for a bit when i was called to leave early. but basically my mom was leaving and was going to be back on my birthday. when she came back, we welcomed her and all. i was waiting for her to say happy birthday to me. i tried to tell her and get her to say happy birthday excitedly, but i dont think she did. she gave me a smile and nod and turned back to my dad. tbh it was valid. her dad died a week ago and she hadnt seen her family back at her home in a year and us in a week. i think i still cried a bit in the car ride form the airport though. we waited until saturday to do something for my birthday. but like, it wasnt all that bad though. she brought back gifts, and i got two, maybe three extras vs my siblings as a birthday gift. they were really nice. we celebrated my birthday two days after on a saturday, with cake and happy birthday.

but yeah. this al got really off topic. hopefully my mom listen to me about my sister or gets her some stuff on her own.

dunno if this counts as one of your weird anons, but yeah. praying i dont come off as selfish im just getting my thoughts out. your my new therapy inbox if thats okay. thanks.

-bad at feelings anon (help im writing this and listening to gracie adams and some ttpd there were some tears at some point)

It’s ok I can be your therapy inbox if you’d like

[pallases]

hi leigh!! i hope you're well :) saw your post with asks and decided i would combine lots of them lol so first thing is tell me abt whatever's bothering you!! i hope nothing's bothering you obv but still.

also i am asking you for book recs. i haven't been reading a lot of proper books lately so any recs are welcome but i kind of feel like some fantasy would do me good. but like good ones? The last couple of years i've been picking up some popular fantasy standalones hoping they feel like a fantasy book you read when you're twelve and they end up being the most mid thing i've ever read. like help. i'm planning to read some robin hobb books so hopefully they're good.

also i've started listening to mitski (talk about being late lol) and i'm really liking her songs i was wondering if you have any particular recs? Or any music recs? what've you been listening to?

sorry this ask is all over the place lol i guess i'm chatty today. i hope you're having an amazing day!! <3<333

ORLA!!!! i hope you are doing well too <3 one thing that is bothering me is school is starting again bc i have gotten virtually no break </3 also that apparently the english class i’m taking doesn’t have any required books i was looking forward to reading actual books not whatever mini readings ig they’re going to be giving us instead ☹️ also also that i did Not in fact get my license like planned this summer bc during the singular week i was home a bunch of stuff suddenly came up and it became no longer my priority and now i will need to renew my permit Again bc it expires in early september and im not going to be able to make it home before that so. <3

as for book recs!! i have tragically had the same problem lately re fantasy books and honestly mostly just books in general BUT i don’t know if you’ve read any ve schwab ive really loved what books of hers ive read. vicious was my favorite, but the monsters of verity duology better fits the “feels like a fantasy book you read when you’re twelve” vibe!

for non-fantasy recs if youre feeling poetry i reallyy liked margaret atwood’s morning in the burned house. also just finished hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy which was v fun! got many laughs out of me, i did not however know before starting it that it’s a series so now idk how to proceed bc i only have the first book agdjfk

OH ALSO fantasy shoutout to strange the dreamer duology 🫶🏻🫶🏻 lovely writing style and world, fascinating antagonist, i was not a big fan of the romance but otherwise big rec on that. definitely not for everyone tho some ppl find the pacing too slow, i remember when i first read it i mentioned that in my review too that it took a bit for me to really get into although i personally wasn’t bored in the meantime like others, i was just chilling enjoying what it had to tell me abt everything

MITSKI RECS!! i love strawberry blond sorry for being basic. square too but specifically square solo piano version which they took off of spotify (idk what you’re listening to her on). because dreaming costs money my dear is also a veryyy hard-hitting one. fond of circle, a burning hill, goodbye my danish sweetheart, nobody, washing machine heart, and class of 2013 as well. that was a lot i will stop now 🫡 also must admit i am quite behind on mitski’s recent releases so i can’t speak for any of her newer albums/songs. except for working for the knife musically it doesn’t hit as much as other songs of hers for me but lyrically it makes me go crazy

as for random music recs my most recently liked songs are unsweetened lemonade by amélie farren, army dreamers by kate bush, numb little bug by em beihold, would that i by hozier, the milk carton by madilyn mei, and comme des enfants by cœur de pirate. i have not really been “listening” listening to anything lately! though that will change in a few days with wisdom saga >:)

— sleepover saturday sunday!

[thedawningofthehour]

I remember a Chinese youtuber who was a history buff described the art of war as something that was given to nobleman officials who knew nothing about war just so they would at least know the basics, it was their equivalent of 'war for dummies.'

They also recommended the romance of the three kingdoms, mentioning how one general sent a dress to another on the enemy's side as part of psychological warfare.

Oh yeah, a lot of it was super basic common sense shit like not marching when the sun's in your eye and feeding your goddamn soldiers, but you have to factor in the time and culture that produced it. Ancient China was better educated than most of Europe at the time, but the majority of people were still illiterate. These soldiers were mostly peasant farmers and the like who were given spears and very little training before they were marched off to die. The generals were mostly highborn sons of politicians or other generals, and while did have some amount of education they had very, very little real-world experience and were severely lacking in common sense. Sun Tzu's book was meant to teach them the basics so they didn't get peasants killed by being a moron or forget to feed them. Because that shit did happen.

But there's still some thought-provoking shit in there. It's really interesting reading up on old history lately, we tend to think of the people of the past as being super brutal and heartless, full Game of Thrones burning and pillaging with their countless wars and nobody gave a damn-but people have been weighing the cost of war and warning against it for thousands of years. The Mahabarata talks about the fallacy of a just war and sets rules on what can be done in war and what circumstances justify war at all-and stress that a war is only just if all means of settling the conflict peacefully have been exhausted. Even back then, they had rules about treating the wounded and prisoners of war, against targeting civilians or using disproportionate means. I think some of that stuff is worth a reminder, in this day and age where a lot of people view war as an inevitable act of justice, or means to an end.

I did a lot of reading on Chinese history and philosophy a little while ago, mostly to cement Tigerclaw's backstory but also because it was really, really interesting. There's just so much of it. Part of the thing is, China is just freaking enormous, and it really only began to take on its modern size a few centuries ago, for most of history what we think of 'China' was mostly eastern China. (which makes sense, that's where the river deltas and plains and the Sichuan basin is, that's where people could get fresh water and grow food most easily) The rest of China was very mountainous and more sparsely populated-but that also means their culture and way of life was quite different. China is very old, very huge, extremely varied and they kept great records. It's just so easy to go down rabbit holes that have no bottom to them. It's a lot and I kind of had to stop for my own sanity lol.

You guys see why I decided to make the Hidden City the last city of its kind, right? Inventing more of these would have literally killed me.

[moveslikeanape]

hey! i'm sorry you've been so busy lately, i hope things calm down for you soon. though i know the holiday season can be a busy time for a lot of people. also, i agree that it's really surprising to me that there's no little mermaid art book. several other films have gotten either brand new books or rereleases of their existing ones to coincide with live action remakes or anniversaries, for example i was finally able to buy the mulan book when they rereleased it because of the remake in 2020, and i have the snow white one that was released in 2012 for that film's 75th anniversary! but there's nothing for the movie that started the disney renaissance and basically saved the company back then.

i actually did recently buy the book "the little mermaid: the full film script", and it has some interesting production notes and concept art... however it's only 150 pages or so, and they're small pages. the actual dimensions of the book are much smaller than any other disney/pixar art book i own, so it's not as easy to see the details in the art and its 150 pages contain nowhere near the same level of information and artwork as the art of frozen's 160 pages do, if that makes sense. not to mention that the reason it's called "the full film script" is, of course, that the script of the movie is also printed throughout the book, taking up space on the pages. it only cost me $15, so i ended up considering it worth it for the price, but i really wish there was a full art of book for the little mermaid in the same vein as the others!!

do you own the tarzan chronicles book? and if so, i'd be curious to know what you think of it! i saw a review of it that made it sound fascinating to read, and mentioned that it had a section detailing the research trip the creators took to africa while working on the film. the art of mulan also had a section about that that i loved reading.

-🌟

Thank you so much! It's mostly just work being crazy and way to many projects at home on the go, lol.

You're lucky with the Mulan one! I bought the first edition maybe 6 or 7 months before they rereleased it. Oh well, it's so worth it!

I have the TLM Full Film Script too. What's in there is nice, but I completely agree with you it's no match for a proper art book. Hopefully someday Disney will give that movie the art book it deserves…

I do own it! I bought it back in 1999 (was actually bought with my first paycheck from my first job!) Haven't read through it in ages though, but there's so much brilliant stuff in there. The section on the research trip is wonderful, lots of great photos and sketches too. I've been hoping to find a cheap copy of the book that I can take apart and scan. It's such a big book, and too heavy and awkward to scan… plus I'm worried about damaging my current book. (Also, someday I need to get my hands on the LE signed version, but it's always way too expensive!)

Will definitely give you a heads up if I ever find a decently priced copy!

[lonelywhalien22]

I love our long messages! Don't stop LOL :')

Yoongi is also my favorite rapper in BTS!!! AGHAKDFJDKF 🤣😂 I definitely feel you with Hobi - he carved out his own little niche in the rap world! My mom actually really likes him because of this!

I'm the same way when it comes to theories and stuff LOL - when I was deep into the fandom in 2018 and everyone was trying to piece together HYYH + LYS storyline, I was so lost - I just enjoyed the cinematic MV's 🤣😂

Omg yay!!! 'Trigger the Fever' is one my favorite songs ever from them! It just makes me really happy 🤗 You're correct! It was one of the songs on the latter part of the setlist before the (multiple?) encore!

Omg omg 'Golden Hour' LOL - I have so many thoughts 🤣 Given the teasers with the bigheaded characters and Mark's furry mask, I literally went in thinking this would be awkward and quirky as hell LOL. When the song started, I was genuinely impressed and I was like "Mark getting out of his loser era . . .???" UNTIL THE DAMN "I CAN'T MAKE EGGS" line LMAO - I had to pause for a minute because I was laughing so hard. My friend thought it was corny, but I actually liked the talking interlude part - Man's had a point :3

I feel you about the extra umph with Kpop! My parents keep wondering when I'm going to phase out of it, but I don't think I ever will frankly. So much effort is put into this beyond music. No judgement - you jam out to 'Sticker' if you like it 😂 We need fans like you too <3 How was The Link tour? Ten is my NCT ult too (as much as I simp about Renjun 💀😂). I also have a soft spot for Yangyang and like . . . lol a 'thing' for Xiaojun 😅

Bestie! You're booked and busy this year, huh?! Tbh, I don't know a lot about ATEEZ 😅 I tried to get into them a while ago, but idk, nothing was really clicking. They have a few songs that I do like though! If you have more suggestions, I'd be open to them :) I'm so so happy you got to see them twice!!! Crossing my fingers for the best that you get to see them again 💙

MOTS was supposed to be my first ever concert too 😭💔 My mom got tickets for us LMAO and she actually managed to snatch AMAZING seats too (it was like level 100, second row or something really close). Honestly, I don't think I will see them in this lifetime - I have bad luck with BTS concerts even before they were super mega popular :') I tried for AGUST D (even bought the dang membership again LOL) and didn't get into the ARMY presale. My friend did manage to get VIP, but I'm terrified of the GA for her 😬😅

You'll have to keep me updated about all your concert experiences to come!!! Amidst new jobs, moving, etc., I can only afford one more concert this year (since I have to travel for most of them and that's an additional cost 😞) and I'm banking all my money on SVT 😭 They are my ults and I wanna see OT13 before the m-word starts 😥

Otherwise if timing doesn't work out well with my new job and I don't get to see them, I think I'm going to try for LSFM or Red Velvet. Do you like any gg's btw? I totally forgot that Baekhyun is having a world tour too????? Besides B.I's Waterfall album, BAMBI was definitely my most played album of 2020 🤣😂 CHEF'S KISSES - he never fails to surprise us just when I think something is his best work yet.

SZA must've been something else!! I've only heard good things about her shows. We'll see about Ed Sheeran and if time/money allows! I'll keep you updated. I don't doubt Taylor Swift will have another show!! Rooting for you~

@twogyuu I’m still highkey embarrassed/ashamed of the length of what follows but you said you didn’t mind the long messages so…

Yeah in terms of kpop being a phase - I told myself that for awhile and I tried so hard not to fall into it more after BTS but there are just so many amazing groups and songs out there. And when c*vid hit I had way too much time on my hands, so yeah...me and kpop are basically trauma-bonded now lol 😂 But for real it’s only increased my love of music and creativity in general so I’m happy to have come across it!

Friend, I’m so sorry you experienced the trauma of the MOTS tour as well. And oof don’t break my delusional heart…I still stupidly have hope that somehow BTS will give us one more OT7 tour after the military 🥺. Even if they can’t do the choreo anymore and I’ve become an actual adult by the time it happens (🤣) I will still wanna see/hear them with my actual eyeballs and ears lol. I have to believe I’ll have another chance to see them all together. And omg, sending well wishes for your friend…I’m a short girlie and one thing about concerts for me - I absolutely cannot do GA, ever. I won’t be able to see and I gotta deal with people all over me...That mosh pit scene in pretty lies was literally just me randomly writing out one of my greatest fears lol…nope nope nope!!!

The Link tour was fun, getting to see them and all, but I was honestly sad that they didn't perform much of any songs from their newest album - I think it was literally only 2 Baddies (the title track) and Faster 🙁. This newest album of theirs is one of my absolute faves they've released (almost no skips) and I really wanted to hear more of it live, especially Gold Dust and 1,2,7 (Time Stops). But I loved seeing Mark and Taeyong riff off each other during rap songs, Doyoung's voice was absolutely beautiful during his solo songs, MOON TAEIL also slaying vocals, Johnny shirtless lol (but for real - the entire performance of Focus from that set to the choreo was one of the most memorable parts, everyone killed it vocally and performance wise <3), Yuta's amazing Butterfly solo performance, Jaehyun being effortlessly flirty, Jungwoo looking gorgeous irl. And they did a lot of their hits so I really can't complain (faves live were Kick It, Cherry Bomb, Lemonade, Touch, Highway to Heaven, FAVORITE (my fave hehe), and of course Sticker lol 💀). It was a total party! Also Taeyong talking to the audience was too f-ing cute, like I can't - he's actually so soft irl lol 😂

And are we sharing the same braincells??? Because I was originally gonna say this in the last post but didn't wanna sound like I was being selective but like���besides being in awe of Ten, I'm specifically trash for Yang Yang and Xiaojun of WayV 😳😂 For Yang Yang - time of death was when he and Ten released Low Low. The song is such a bop and when I saw his smile at timestamp 0:12 in the mv I was like…yeah I want him. And then his entire part in the first verse of that song like...ugh I totally fell for those lyrics (ik embarrassing) lol. Like the deal was basically sealed after that. Idk what it is about him but he just has this inexplicable charm…like whatever “it” is, he has it. Idk I don't make the rules. And Xiaojun? He is p r e t t y, ok? I am basic. Like do you see how thick his eyebrows are??? But like also his voice and he’s so soft and idk ok imma stop ALKJDLFKF. But for real I gotta see them all live because I just know their concert would be a total party. Sooo many b.o.p.s.

Also don’t feel bad if Ateez isn’t your thing!!! Funny story but the first song I ever heard from them was Wave and I was like oh this is cute, lemme check them out, and then I randomly chose HALA HALA out of all of their mvs to watch as an introduction and I was like - tf??? 🤣 And then I literally didn’t look into them again for like 6 months to a year bc I just did not get why that song was so popular and like now it’s one of my favorites 🤣 They do tend to lean darker for their cb tracks and if that isn’t ur cup of tea, that’s totally cool! I just can’t stop myself from bringing them up in any kpop convo bc I l*ve them lol. But if you really want recs from their discography, idk what kind of sound you gravitate towards so i’ll give you a mix (it’s also bc i love talking abt them and their music so indulge my Atiny brainrot for one last time hehe)

*IF I STAR IT LIKE THIS THESE ARE MY PERSONAL FAVES OF EACH VIBE BUT I LIST MORE AS WELL BC PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES LOL*

If you like softer/more chill/comfort I’d check out - *WITH U*, My Way, *Wave*, *Illusion*, *Sunrise*, *Aurora*, Dancing Like Butterfly Wings, *Promise*, If Without You, *THANK U*, *FEVER*, *Turbulence*, Twilight, *One Day At a Time*, Light, Stay, *Better*, *Time of Love*, Celebrate, *The Letter*, and All About You.

If you like emotional ballads I’d recommend - *Be With You*, *Star 1117*, *Turbulence*, *Not Too Late*, and *MIST*.

If you wanna hear fan-faves/powerful/iconic performance/choreo/hype type stuff (what made me stan them basically) I’d recommend - *Say My Name*, Answer, *Deja Vu*, ROCKY, *The Real*, *Pirate King*, *Treasure* *HALAZIA*, *HALA HALA*, *WONDERLAND*, *WIN*, *Guerrilla*, *INCEPTION*, and *Fireworks* <I’d def recommend watching the mvs for these recs.

Spicy recs if ur into that hehe (watch mv/vid performances)  - *Inception*, *Cyberpunk*, *The Ring*, *Fireworks* (ESP. the beginning of the mv), *Deja Vu*, Sector 1 (once again, specifically the beginning lol).

And then if this is getting a little tldr (ik it is i’m so sorry) and I could only choose 5 6 7 songs that define Ateez/songs to inject into my veins I would choose Pirate King, Say My Name, Star 1117, Aurora, HALA HALA, Wave, and The Real.

Did I literally spend a disgustingly long amount of time happily categorizing the bulk of their discography? Yes, yes I did. And I very much enjoyed it 🤪

Also, you don’t have to do this immediately (or ever) if it’s a hassle, but I am still quite new to seventeen’s discography (yay!!!) so if you ever wanna share your song recs (some faves from what I've sporadically encountered so far are Darl+ing, Left & Right, Fear, Do Re Mi, Cheers, *DON'T WANNA CRY omg*, Ready to love, Rock with you, _WORLD, Home, Chilli, Anyone, and Thinkin' about you) + any other content that made you really really like them I would absolutely love that <3 bonus points if the other content involves mingyu, wonwoo, vernon, and/or seungcheol bc i need bias receipts 😏

But enough about MEN. Heck yeah I listen to girl groups!!! Actually, before I found BTS or even knew what the heck kpop was, I remember listening to Taeyeon (before I knew SNSD lol) and Red Velvet. They were my true gateway into kpop. It was like 2016 or 2017, and I was dabbling in Korean R&B (I could go down a whole rabbit hole of recs in this genre too, but i won’t here - feel free to ask more if ur interested in that genre), and I remember really liking Eric Nam’s Interview album at the time (esp. the song Good For You <3). And so I was pouring through his discography and fell in love with this song called Spring Love that he did with Wendy (love Like Water btw). And then from there I learned she was part of a group and I found Red Velvet!!! I played the heck out of their songs, and I could literally list their entire discography, but some of the first gems I ever heard where I was like oh yeah they’re special were One of these Nights, Would U, and of course the iconic Bad Boy. Those women can sing. The harmonies??? The vocals??? Total queens. When they released their most recent album I was playing Feel My Rhythm nonstop in the car for a few weeks - like the people in my passenger’s seat hated me lol but like...the key change at the end??? How can you only listen to that once??? And then the song In My Dreams…my hopelessly romantic, pining heart approves. And like Seulgi??? She’s so cool bruh lol. Loved her song Who Are You with BamBam, and her solo album was so great!!! The cover image for that album is just so iconic to me for some reason. I absolutely loved the entire concept. I am praying they announce US tour dates for Red Velvet 😭 For Taeyeon, 11:11, I Blame on You, Fine, and I (ft. Verbal Jint) were in regular rotation. Her voice is absolutely stunning and it’s like she’s singing straight into your heart or something. Just gives me the feels - like I begin feeling whatever emotion she’s putting into the song. Ugh. And she continues to spit out bops - What Do I Call You, WEEKEND (literally feels like a Friday when that one comes on <3), Can’t Control Myself (obsessed with this song + concept such a vibe), INVU (the way I memorized that little hand movement of the letters that she does in the chorus 💀). Heck - Hotel del Luna is literally on my list of kdramas to watch purely because of her beautiful song from the soundtrack (I think the translated title is All About You) 😭😭😭

And there are so many other great girl groups in kpop!!! Can’t list them all but dangit if I’m not gonna try - first of all I gotta shout out my girls StayC (stayc girls, it’s goin down.) Probably my fave of the newer gen groups and for me their discography is like no skips, esp. their YOUNG-LUV.COM EP. Then there’s Everglow with their insane choreography (the song First like omggg that ones prob my favorite besides La Di Da) and their hypnotizing pre chorus mottos. Like idk how they do it but they always have like some insanely catchy little saying or something right before they go into the chorus or like the chorus is crazy catchy like what the heck lol. Got into WJSN after Queendom, and their most recent release Last Sequence - like omg…the chorus and post-chorus of that song is like a literal d r u g. I gotta catch up on LSFM releases but the way Fearless had a chokehold on me for awhileeeeee. Aespa - once again just mindbending vocals/harmonies. Love Winter and Ningning esp. And the way I still try to do that crazy flat hand thing from Next Level 🤣 and I also weirdly love how that song is like two songs squished together - like ok SM they actually pulled that off for me somehow 🤣 The way both the bridge and the ending sequence of vocals at the end of Savage are absolutely insaneeee and I love hearing it every time it comes on. NewJeans literally releases bop after bop (🎵attentiooooooon🎵) like I don’t know what kind of magic sauce they’ve got going on over there. Weeekly is such a gem as well and I have been following/rooting for them ever since their debut song After School blew up! Their music is full of wonderful melodies! Can’t wait to see where they go! Fromis_9 is great, Oh My Girl, (g)i-dle (MINNIE esp. AHHHH), Hyolyn (straight b.o.p.s.), Viviz is great. I keep hearing buzz about the group XG and am planning to check them out soon when I have some time! Currently loving Kitsch by IVE and am excited to check out I Am. Also Cupid by Fifty Fifty??? (literally know nothing about this group but this song is just a total bop). So many other ggs/female acts old and new that I haven’t listed here, including some obviously super big well-known ones but like it’s a given I listen to songs of theirs as well so I wanted to give some love to my fave faves and some hidden gems <3 So yeah, the kpop girlies are out here doing it and leaving no crumbs. We stan.

Lastly, adulting is a drag lol. I hate transitionary periods and also had my own recently so I’m wishing you the best and hope that once all the logistical stuff is settled, better/great things await you on the other side! And priorities!!! Definitely save your coins for Seventeen and make sure you see them all together!!! Ed is likely to tour again, and I am rooting for you too!!!

[monstersinthecosmos]

idk why this post was resurrected in the night but now that it's been some time and calmed down a little, that IWTV zine was nothing but fuckin red flags guys lol.

First thing you need to do if you see a zine you wanna join and/or buy, is check out the mods. Absolutely step one is if they do not have their mods listed, run. Do not walk. But once you identify the mods:

Have they modded zines before? (if yes, how did it go?) (if no, try to ask some very basic questions about their plans, their mod roles, what they plan to do with finances, etc. Some people might have real life work experience and can handle it, or have done their research, even if they've never done a zine yet.)

Do they regularly demonize fans in the fandom bc of what they like? (ie: instead of posts like "this is why that thing in canon was gross" they write things like "fans of this thing in canon are gross". I know this sounds petty and like it's about silly fandom politics but there is a history of doxxing in situations like this, and these types of people in fandom are always 1 or 2 salty posts away from suggesting that the people they don't like belong on a list. Tread carefully, stay safe.) ((This is also because mods need to be people wranglers, too. You're managing a project that might involve 40-50 people. You are HR, you are the babysitter, you are the mediator. If the mod is posting "fans of this character are GROSS" etc on their blog every other week, how is fan of that character supposed to DM them for zine stuff? Zine mods need to be mature and able to navigate different types of people who are not like themselves.))

Have they even PARTICIPATED in the fandom before? Or are they conveniently popping up to make money off of you? If you can't find posts about them demonizing people, that's a good step, but if they haven't posted in your fandom AT ALL like, who are you? Why are you here?

I think there's a lot of really valid discourse and conversation out there right now about the current landscape of zines and the high production small businesses they've turned into, vs the original DIY anarchist meaning. I think it's valid to say that "zines" today should be referred to as "art books" or "anthologies" when they're professionally printed. I also understand that we don't have word to use so they're all being lumped together right now.

It doesn't mean that these high end art books or anthologies are not fun to make, or fun to have. I have several! I head modded one myself! But if you're showing up out of nowhere, not even a fan of the thing, not someone who feels warm & fuzzy about having a physical copy of your fav fanworks, I gotta ask if you're just here for money and clout.

These books cost money, they just do. You can always make an old school zine or do digital only for no overhead. But if you DO want a shiny book to have on your shelf forever, it costs money. And I'm personally extremely wary of folks coming into fandoms with capitalistic interests. A community project that we do for the love of fandom and love for our fellow creators and love of fanworks is different from some unaffiliated stranger popping in and asking for your time & money.

Even smaller projects bring in thousands of dollars. As a contributor you're giving them hours of your own labor, and as a customer you could be spending upwards of $100. This is not a small thing.

And like, the problem here too is that zines aren't necessarily profitable for the mods, compared to the hours they put in. So I'd be really fucking careful trusting people like this, because it's happened TOO MANY TIMES that a mod disappears with thousands of dollars and never even intended to order any of the product.

It's just sketchy as fuck.

And with VC in particular there is a long and fraught history of why we didn't monetize fanworks, and I think barreling out of the gate the way they did was irresponsible as fuck, especially with so many rookie mistakes. And when asked extremely softball questions about their policies and how they planned to screen people (ie, are you going to waste everyone's time 6 months later when you decide they're the icky wrong kind of fan), they shut down and couldn't answer.

Be careful! Ask questions! Be harsh if you need to. Do not trust flaky creeps!!!!

I don't have time to get into this right now and I'm happy to expand on it later when I have a minute to sit down, but: Do not give your money to zines runs by antis.

Do not participate in zines run by antis.

Do not trust people who have never participated in your fandom until they show up trying to make money off of you.

ZINE DRAMA is not ~fandom drama~. Zines are independent small businesses. Any time money is exchanged, you risk sharing your legal name. Any time physical media is purchased to be mailed, you share your home address.

Do not trust antis with your personal information. It is not safe.

I really try not to engage in drama and bullshit on here because I think it's irresponsible and wastes everyones time, but when this type of money and personal safety is involved I think it's absolutely crucial to be aware of it. This is not drama, it's very basic safety.

Especially in this fucking fandom, with its history. There is a reason we have not had zines, and they would know that if they actually spent time here before trying to monetize your work. I say this due to their handling of it and also in case fandom folks around here don't have zine experience and don't know what red flags to look for, since we haven't had any. There is a mature and responsible way to navigate this new territory and this is absolutely not it.

[rebeccakitty]

“He will Never touch you again”

Eddie Munson x Reader

Wanted to write an Eddie Fanfic for awhile. However, It’s been YEARS since I wrote anything. Be kind. I know it’s rough. I’ve been way out of practice. I don’t know what i’m doing, but I wanted to write something for Eddie since I am obsessed and in love with him. He’s basically the one thing that has made me happy through a difficult time in my life right now.

Also I will note TW for Physical Abuse. There’s no sex, as I wanted to write a protective Eddie scene first. I hope it’s good enough. I had fun writing it, though as I stated, I’m WAY out of practice. This is the first thing I’ve written in 10+ years. Just be kind. lol 

*********

You have been dating Eddie Munson for a couple of months now in secret. You knew your parents would disapprove of you hanging out with the town’s declared freak and from their view, outside looking in, they would view Eddie as a Satanic cult leader. Your family wasn’t overly strict or religious per se, but they did eat up any overblown propaganda they saw on the news. You had intended to avoid Eddie yourself at all costs, but One day when you had to sit next to him in English class and had a group Book project to do with him, that’s when you started actually getting to know the real Eddie.

He may have looked Scary and intimidating on the outside, but you quickly warmed up to him as he constantly made you laugh. You then started to sit next to him and his other nerd friends during lunch. You never heard of Dungeons and Dragons before, but you couldn’t help but loving every second of Eddie and his friends talk about their campaigns. It wasn’t soon after that that the two of you had started dating. You started going over to Eddie’s trailer under the guise of tutoring or Group projects as your excuse to anyone who may ask.

Needless to say, you were surprised when you walked home one day to find that your parents were both waiting for you in the living room and they didn’t look happy. “Hey, mom. Hey, Dad.....uh, Is something wrong?” You asked, nervously. You saw your mom nervously shift around in her seat. She wasn’t very confrontational. Your dad, However......

“We have heard very disturbing rumors going on about you hanging out with that Munson boy!” You father roared, standing up from his chair. “What? No! No! I only tutor him occasionally. It’s purely...” “DON’T YOU START!” Your dad shouted, cutting off your prepared lie. “We didn’t want to believe it either, but then we found this in your room!” He then pulled out a bag that you had stored under your bed. You knew it wasn’t the perfect hiding spot for it, but it was better than nothing. He threw the bag on the coffee table and opened it and inside were DnD books that Eddie had let you borrow. They were beginner guides to help you understand the game more. “Can you please explain to me why my daughter has these Satanic cult books?! Did he give him to you?! Are you joining his little cult?!” Your dad was furiously.

“They aren’t C-cult books, dad! It’s just a G-game!” You stuttered out, frozen in fear. Your dad often had really bad tempers and you knew back-talking him and trying to correct him would only make him more angry, but you had to try to defend Eddie. “No! You listen here! These books, This “Game” is Sinful and I will not have my daughter partake in it. I won’t have you be learning how to summon demons for the Devil” He said. You then tried to lunge for the bag and it’s contents off the table, but your dad was quicker and grabbed it out of your reach. “Didn’t you hear me?! I said NO!” He shouted. In one quick motion, he threw the bag and the books in the fireplace, a roaring fire already burning. “DAD, NO! Those were Eddie’s! He let me borrow them!” You cried, reaching out towards the fire.

In another surprising motion, your father struck you across the face. You fell from the force to the floor, landing on your backpack you still had strapped over your back. “Richard!” Your mother cried, finally speaking up during this whole shitshow. “Richard, you said you were just going to speak with her. Now you have gone too far!” She continued. “Too far?! I’m trying to save our daughter’s soul from this heathen. I will do whatever it takes” He said, turning to face your mother. “Y/n, Go upstairs to your room. I’m very sorry that everything has led to this. Go upstairs and I will talk to your father” Your mom said. You stood up, hand covering your reddened cheek. You quickly ran upstairs to your room and you shut the door behind you. You heard your parents resume talking to each other, your dad still very loud.

You rushed over to the window and pulled it open, frantically. There was no chance in Hell that you were going to standby and wait for your parents to return. You had never gone out the window before, but you were desperate to get to Eddie’s. He was your safe haven in this moment. You carefully put your legs through the window first, tried to steady yourself, and then jumped out. Your fall was a bit clumsy, but you didn’t injure yourself any further. Then you started running towards the Trailer park with only your boyfriend in mind.

------

You were panting heavily as you reached Eddie’s trailer. You knocked several times before Eddie’s uncle, Wayne, answered the door. You had only met him on some occasions due to the fact that he always worked late, but he always treated you kindly.  “I’m sorry, but Eddie’s still out right now, Miss Y/n” He said, noting some concern in his tone. In your haste, you failed to notice that Eddie’s van wasn’t in front. He was still at School. ‘It’s hellfire night tonight’ You remembered. The tears had rushed in before you had a chance to stifle them. Startled, Wayne helped you inside. “Is everything alright? What’s wrong, Miss” He said. You shook your head. “Can I just wait until Eddie comes home please?” You asked through your sobs. “Yes, that’s quite alright. I’m going to have to leave for work soon though, so help yourself with whatever you need while you wait.” He said, kindly. “T-thank you” You cried, trying to give him a small smile before you turned and walked down the hall to Eddie’s room.

You laid on Eddie’s bed and held his pillow close to your chest. It smelled just like him and it began to comfort you as you just cried into it. You were going through everything that had just happened. Trying to process all of it. Your dad was never physically violent with you. Ever. Sure, He got mad, a little hotheaded even. But it never....The memory of the slap just kept haunting you. You falling to the floor. Eddie’s books burning. You felt awful about everything. ‘How am I going to tell him when he gets home?’ You thought.

********

Meanwhile, Eddie was playing a Campaign of DnD with Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and the others. “11! That’s a....MISS!” Eddie jeered, smiling freakishly at Dustin’s failed attempted to fireball a monster. “GODDAMN IT!” Dustin shouted. Eddie laughed maniacally on his throne. The game continued on for another couple of hours, the campaign having to be continued another night as it was already getting quite late. Eddie got in his van along with the freshmen and he decided to drop them off home at each of their houses.

By the time he got home himself, It was almost 9:00. He knew his uncle would be gone by then, already at work. Eddie walked in his home and noticed a note on the table.

 “I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to check on your girl. She came over and seemed really upset by something. It seems like something must have startled or hurt her. She should be waiting for you in your room. -- W”.

Eddie scanned the note twice over, but as the information actually hit his brain, He rushed toward his bedroom. Sure, enough as he opened the door his girlfriend was there, tucked in his bed holding on tightly to his pillow. She fast asleep. He cursed himself that his campaign took so long. If he had known that you needed him urgently, for whatever the reason, he would have been here. Come Hell or High water. He didn’t want to have to wake you. You looked so peaceful right now, but he was worried about what had happened to have you come all the way here. Your relationship was a secret he knew and it didn’t make any sense for you to come here tonight. He gently sat down on the bed next to you. He looked you over. You didn’t seemed injured to him. He carefully reached out a hand and shook you awake. “Y/N. Y/N, Wake up, princess.” He said sweetly.

  *******

You shuttered awake and recoiled away from the sudden sensation of touch. You were frightened. “Whoa! hey, hey, now Princess. It’s only me. It’s Eddie. Your safe.” Eddie said, responding to your sudden movement as you awoke. You relaxed as you remembered where you were and as your eyes focused on Eddie sitting across from you. “Eddie!” You cried as you tackled him down hugging him. The tears began again, all messy and snotty. You backed off of Eddie. “Oh, I’m sorry. Your shirt” You said, as you tried patting the area where your tears and snot had made a wet patch in his Hellfire shirt. His most prized Possession. “Hey now, No. It’s just a shirt, babe. What’s wrong? What happened? What is that on your face?!” Eddie asked, now suddenly noticing the bruise that was forming on your cheek from where your father hit you. All the memories of your welcome home flooded back in. You didn’t know how to begin.

“I-i went home right after school and my parents....well, they know about us, kind of....” You started. Eddie just stayed there, patiently listening and waiting for you to continue whenever you took a pause. You saw the concern and worry in his eyes though. That’s what you loved about him. “My dad found your DnD books. The ones you let me borrow.” You said. Eddie’s eyes slightly widened at that shock. “Did he hurt you?! over a couple of books!” He exclaimed. You nodded your head and began crying. “He threw your books in the fire! I tried to save them but then he slapped me! Eddie, it was awful! I’ve never seen my dad so angry before!” You sobbed. Your breathing became uncontrollable. You were heaving as Eddie grabbed you and held you close to him. “Shh, it’s ok, Y/n. It’s ok” He said, quietly in your ear. “I’m sorry about your books” You cried out. “Forget the books! I don’t care about them. I only care about you. What else did he do?” He said, still holding you close. “Mom sent me to my room after that. I don’t know what happened. I left.” You said. “Wait, how?” Eddie asked, leaning away to look into your eyes. “I went through the window” You said, looking back at him. Eddie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, Babe. Did you just say you jumped out the window? Oh my god.....Maybe I am becoming a bad influence on you” He laughed, a wide grin forming on his pretty face. “Shut up!” You said, playfully hitting him in the shoulder. “I had to leave. I couldn’t stay there. I wanted you.” You said, tearing up again.

Eddie stopped laughing and gently held your face. He wiped the tears forming in your eyes away. “It’s alright, princess. I’m right here” He said. You went back to hugging him close to you. He was warm and soft. He petted your head, his fingers brushing through your hair. “Everything’s going to be ok” Eddie promised. He kissed the top of your head. He made you feel completely safe as your eyes started to fell heavy once again with sleep. “I feel like kicking the shit out of your father. I’ll refrain, though if he ever touches you again....” He trailed off as he noticed that you had fallen asleep again right there on his chest. “He will never touch you again. I’ll make sure of that” He said to himself, holding on to you tightly.      

[bbybaku]

can you do more BNHA college boyfriend content? I really loved the Shigaraki one (sorry, english is not my first language)

anything for you anon

(also youre english is perfect and so are you)

def gonna make this 2 parts lolol

mha college bf head cannons

shinso

sfw 

probably majoring in something finance related 

wants to take care of you 

as in you two go shopping like every other weekend

has a ton of money from investing in crypto currency and getting lucky 

yall also go out to eat all the time 

and not like fast food like nice sit down places

you two spoon constantly 

like sleeping face to face limbs intertwined

he loves to sit with his head between your legs while watching tv

or when you two are laying down and you hold his head into your chest and hee holds your hips

you both have apartments but he likes yours because its better deccorated than his

has an amazing taste in music 

makes you playlists all the time 

uses old spice deodorant

mr hitoshi is a man who always smells good 

has amazing hygene 

you talked him into growing his hair out

now hes always asking you to play with it  

is very good at school without even trying

which drives you crazy because he always talks you out of studying 

scares off a lot of people with his scary features

which makes his insecure and needed a lot of reassureance at the start of your relationship. 

but these days he owns your ass 

nsfw 

tpyically a soft dom

is huge 

took you a while to get used to how big he is 

likes to put you in stressful situations just so he can reassure you

“shhhh hey its okay im here” 

“this will stop if you use the safe word, hmm oh whats that you want to keep going?” 

“good girl” 

stressfull situations as in he over stimulates you every god dam time. 

nothing makes him harder than you crying from pleasure 

he spoils you

once spent $200 on toys just for you because he was going out of town for a week 

his gifts for you do come with a cost

shinso goes ferral for blowjobs

and he wants them all the time 

you have def given head in an alarming amount of public restrooms 

very into roleplay

almost jizzed his pants when you put on cat ears once 

same thing when you bought a maid outfit 

in case you were wondering, yes his pubes are purple too. 

sex playlist 

homeboy loves period sex

is very into aftercare

like reads womens magazines about it 

has a sexy voice and knows it

has a mirror in front of his bed because its all about eye contact 

definition of intamacy with this man 

knows how to treat his partner 

aizawa 

the thing about aizawa is he isnt your boyfriend he is your husband 

probaby in grad school for like english 

so a lil older 

but thats okay 

he makes up for it in being hot 

and he has cats 

with very obscure names like katsu and mochi 

since he was older he invited you to live with him 

you said yes of course 

the cats liked you right away 

apartment full of books and windows 

shouta drank wine almost every night 

would grade papers for the class he assisted in 

loved holding hands everywhere 

not the biggester spooner 

but would hold you really close on the couch while you two watched films while wine drunk 

he was an introvert so you two spent most nights in 

and when you two did go out it was always something interesting 

like trivia night, or seeing a band play, or going to a dinner party

was the kind of boyfriend who was really good at co existing with you 

like what is awkward silence 

the vibe is just so positive 

and you two are so comfortable with each other

nsfw 

mr aizawa is a kinky mf behind the scenes

he does not have sex he fucks

very good with ropes 

loved controlling you 

could fuck all day 

like man had stamina 

when you two went out to dinner he would push your underwear to the side finger you under the table 

and whisper other times hes humiliated you while you squirmed under his grip  

gotta call him daddy

or sir

or master

he is the type to tie you up with your arms behind your back and put a vibrator on your clit then just disappear for an hour

also big on choking

like real big on choking

he’ll just rest his hand on your throat while you two are doing mundane thing

also asserts dominance constantly

like holding your hips at the grocery store

kissing you in a crowded place

extremely possessive

probably has a few paddles

likes to spank

really likes to brat tame

you say “make me” and you are in for a wild night

man will wear rings when he fucks you

fingers you

and chokes you

you usually come first

unless you’ve been bad

then aizawa will edge you for hours

bakugou

sfw

the definition of “i hate everyone but you”

like once you figured out how to communicate with him

best bf ever

history major

lives in a house with like 6 of his friends

but don’t worry he has his own room

always at the gym

since he’s very muscular he rarely wears a shirt when you two hang out

and he always wants you to lay on top of him

like imagine him being the ceo of picking you up and throwing you on the bed

then jumping on you

kisses. bakugo would want to make out a lot

very temperamental

like if he’s hungry or sleepy or too hot he will snap at you

but you know by now not to take it personally

also would have a ton of funny nicknames for you

examples : headass, stinky, the first letter of your name or ugly

but he would say it in a loving way

❤️ hey ugly❤️

you loved his friends

didn’t know how he scored them with how mean he was

you two spent a ton of time just lounging in his bed

liked to play fight

and bicker

really liked deep convos too like he would push you to think harder and tell him more about yourself

he didn’t say it a lot but he really liked you

nsfw

katsuki bakugou is an ass man.

big dick energy

he’s the type who wanted you to ride him all the time

but he would be in control when you rode him like death grip on your hips

he also liked to hit if from the back

likes to slam into you

the way you jiggled made him harder

not the type to hold in his grunts and moans made a lot of noise during sex

his roomates hated you guys for how loud you were

def likes his girls a lil chubby

grabbed your ass every chance he had

found porn stars that look like yours make jerking off more fun

loves fingering you.

also big degrader

you two had a lot of angry sex and a lot of make up sex

got real cranky when he was horny and couldn’t have you

took videos of you during sex to rewatch later

you got so turned on when he snapped at you

it drove him nuts

basically you two fucked a lot lol

masterlist

[yesimwriting]

Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?

 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol

also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 

also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 

--

They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.

But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.

The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.

You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.

I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.

"Oh, you're doing that thing."

I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"

"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."

I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."

"Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."

Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"

At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"

"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."

Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"

"That doesn't mea--"

"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"

"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.

Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.

I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.

It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.

The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.

"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."

"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"

"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."

Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."

"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"

Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."

"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"

"He just wanted to sell our cove--"

"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."

Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.

"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"

"I resent that--"

"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."

I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."

"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."

"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."

"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."

He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."

...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."

Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."

"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"

He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."

Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.

Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.

--

I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.

How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.

I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?

Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.

Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.

How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?

I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.

I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 

I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 

The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 

My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 

Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 

The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 

His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 

I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 

A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 

I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 

Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 

My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 

“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 

This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 

Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 

My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 

I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 

No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 

How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 

“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 

“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 

“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 

His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 

...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 

Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 

I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 

“You’re falling asleep.” 

I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 

“You’re impossible.” 

From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 

From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 

Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 

The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 

This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 

At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”

“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 

Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 

“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 

I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 

“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 

We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 

He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 

“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 

I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

[lacheri]

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pairing: switch!Eren and switch!fem bodied reader

content: college au, OnlyFans/sex work, masturbation (m), praise kink, oral (f and m receiving), squirting, penetrative sex, drug and alcohol use, classic college party, Eren is down horrendously bad, I believe in long haired Eren supremacy, minors DNI

summary: when jean finally convinces eren to crawl out from under his rock to join society on instagram, he finds there’s a whole lot more than just pictures of food. there’s you.

wc: 15.4k (I know it’s a long one, hope you enjoy tho)

Eren Jaeger had recently found himself in a very, very deep hole. It all started innocently, when one of his best friends Jean had convinced Eren to crawl out of his hole and create an Instagram to join society.

“C’mon Eren,” Jean had teased over a week ago as they studied out on the lawn of their school. “You have no idea what you’re missing out on. No one even uses Facebook anymore, it’s all for moms who want to brag about little Timmy’s genius for figuring out one plus one equals two.”

“What do you even do on Instagram?” Eren’s brows knitted together in confusion, Jean whipping his phone out to show Eren exactly how to use it.

“You post pictures,” Jean navigated to his profile, tapping and sliding down to show Eren all of Jean’s shameless selfies.

“Of just yourself?” he breathed, not comprehending the appeal at all. Don’t people look at his face enough?

“Well, you can post anything you want, that’s the beauty of it. Plus, when you’re not doing that, you get to see and like other people’s pictures.”

“But it says here you follow, 1,536 accounts? And you have 5,000 following you back?” Eren asked incredulously, surprised about how popular his friend’s online persona was. “How do you even know that many people?”

“You don’t,” Jean shrugged, making a few taps to his home page as posts began to load up. “Celebrities have Instagram, our friends have Instagram, fuck, every attractive person on the entire planet has one.”

“How do you even find these people?” Eren’s questioning never seemed to end, the concept out of his comprehension. Facebook was one thing, he personally knew every single one of his friends and family there, and honestly he really enjoyed people just talking about their day to day ordeals.

That’s when Jean forced Eren to hand his phone over and download the app. Jean snapped a quick picture of Eren, to which Eren had no reaction time to. Before he could protest, Jean had already uploaded the candid with some random song lyrics as the caption. To be honest with himself, Eren had to admit that Jean had taken a very flattering picture. He had his knee brought to his chest while his arm dangled over, back slumped and relaxed while he sat on the blanket they had set down before lounging there, hair in his signature sloppy man bun. It was mid day, so all the shadows casted behind his body as the sun’s rays illuminated every high point and contrast of his stoic face.

After a few follow backs from his friends, Armin and Mikasa, he had accumulated a few dozen likes, and Eren couldn’t help the feelings of instant gratifications wash over him, “Okay? So, now what?”

“Now,” Jean began to instruct him, putting the phone back in Eren’s hands after showing him the basics of social media. “Go to my page, and start following whoever you want from my following list. There’s some really hot girls.”

And when Eren laid in his dorm bed that night by himself, he did just that. He really didn’t want to give Jean the satisfaction of showing him who he followed, or why he decided to. His finger scrolled and scrolled through the following list on Jean’s Instagram, hitting the follow button on a few bands he really enjoyed. But then, his hand stopped at one username in particular. The avatar showed a pretty girl, smiling brightly into the camera, sun’s golden rays blooming behind her hair.

Eren tapped on the username, and the first thing he took note of was the bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas and rock and roll’, he had to smirk at that, what a simple sentence to sum yourself up with. His eyes flickered to the link in her bio, titled, OnlyFans. He titled his head, Jean hadn’t mentioned what OnlyFans was? Did everyone have an OnlyFans too, like Instagram? He tapped on the highlighted link to be met with a page of prices. What the fuck was so exclusive about it that he had to pay ten dollars for a single picture? As he scrolled down a bit more, he noticed the pricing rising to the final payment cost.

“200 dollars for a personal Snapchat and to talk to me every day?” he read aloud, mouth open in disgust. “What the fuck is this?”

He hit the done option in the upper left corner, returning to the Instagram page in question. He tapped on the first photo, the girl’s back facing the camera, completely bare as her hair trickled down the center. She was sitting in a pretty pink bath, floating flowers all around, staring out a window, captioned, ‘wishing you were here’. His gaze lingered on the dips of her waist, before scrolling down to see the girl in some more clothing. This one was a much prettier picture, glasses set on the brim of her nose while she sat comfortably at a wooden table in a library. She stared directly into the camera, a pretty smile on her face while her hands sat perched under her chin. Some books were open on the table, and Eren took note of the quilted skirt peeking out from the under the bottom, her knees tightly crossed. ‘finals week is going to be the death of me, thank the universe for coffee’.

Eren back tracked out of the photo after double tapping, trying to drink in a comprehensive idea of what exactly people were paying so much money to see. He scrolled, and landed on his answer. The girl sat on a stool, phone angled in the mirror to take in her frame, wearing nothing but black lingerie and heels with a smirk on her face, the caption simply, ‘follow me on OnlyFans, link in bio’.

‘Hey Jean, what’s OnlyFans?’ Eren typed a quick text to his now mentor, patiently waiting as three bubbles appeared from his friend’s end.

‘Lol I see what you’re using Instagram for now, Jaeger’, was Jean’s only reply, and Eren could feel himself getting frustrated. Before he could type back an angry text, those bubbles popped up once again. ‘It’s basically porn, you pay for people’s pictures and videos’.

‘Why would someone want to do that? It’s free almost everywhere else’.

‘Because, young grasshopper, girls are hot and I’m trynna see some titties’.

Eren rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. Deducing that Jean was obviously one of these paying customers, Eren felt a little more secure in himself as he tapped the follow button on the girl’s page. What he wasn’t expecting though was a notification informing him she had followed back, followed quickly by another one liking his only post. Eren couldn’t hold back a blush, heart thumping in his chest. Did this girl think he was good looking?

The thought didn’t sit for long as yet another notification popped up, this time a comment. The girl had simply put a heart eyed emoji, followed by a fire emoji. Eren retreated in haste back to her profile, analyzing every picture and caption.

That had been a month ago, and now Eren had a full blown addiction to the website, more specifically her Instagram. Eren was even paying for her OnlyFans now, making excuses that the money he spent would be used for coffees and lunches anyhow, and he really had to nip his caffeine addiction in the butt so he might as well spend his cash on her.

She had just posted a photoset, one of many on her page, completely naked aside from a gold necklace adorned on her neck, a simple initial of ‘E’ rested prettily on her collarbone. It was like she knew Eren was devouring her social medias on a daily basis. It was all for him, Eren had concluded. There was no coincidence that she had followed and liked his own page, it was all fate and meant to be. Eren had figured out how to DM someone, thanks to Jean showing him how to during one of their classes, and he had taken full advantage of the girl’s inbox. Unfortunately with no reply or read receipt to even prove she had received his messages, introducing himself and showering the girl with compliments. Oh, Eren was down bad. He even brought himself to pay out the $50 tier on her OnlyFans for the month, tired of entering his card information for every daily post.

His dick twitched hard as he drank in her form, curvaceous and beautiful and feminine. It wasn’t even like he just wanted to fuck her either, if he needed relief like that he’d just hit up one of the handful of girls he had saved in his contacts. Eren Jaeger wanted to take this girl out on a fucking date. They had so much in common, they were practically soulmates. She liked and followed all the same bands Eren did, posted on her stories all about her favorite foods and her zodiac sign. While he didn’t really believe in that shit, his Google search history of checking if Aries was compatible spoke to something completely different.

And then Eren began noticing something. How the library she frequently posted pictures in was the same library on campus. All the restaurants she went to were in an hour radius of him, half of them being his usual hangout spots. She lived locally, which thoroughly surprised him. Had he seen her around before? No, definitely not, he would’ve definitely remembered her pretty face. None of the girls that he knew looked like her, and if Eren didn’t know what a woman’s body felt like, he would’ve sworn her body was made of plastic.

Eren was practically an expert at Instagram now, and had plenty of opportunities to follow other beautiful women, but he chose not to. He felt guilty one night as he maneuvered through another pretty girl’s pictures, quickly retreating back to the comfort of his favorite girl’s instead. This was one of the reasons Eren had fought getting online for so long, whenever he found something he liked, he got obsessive.

His attention was drawn back to her naked photos, and he slipped his hand under the fabric of his sweatpants as he began to fuck his fist to her pretty image. All for him, he panted as he imagined what she would look like in front of him, beautiful and begging for his touch.

“Thank you so much,” you smiled graciously at the Starbucks employee in front of you, taking your large iced coffee from his hands.

“No problem, have a great day!”

You tossed your hair behind your shoulder as you turned around, the smile still vibrant on your face. Today was a good day, you decided almost as soon as you woke up. After studying for finals for nearly two weeks straight, you finally had a day off to enjoy yourself. Your best friend, Sasha, had convinced you to go on a small shopping day with her. You eagerly agreed that morning, toothbrush forgotten in between your teeth as your fingers rapidly tapped away to schedule a time. You were running out of sexy outfits for your OnlyFans content, and frankly, you really need some new summer clothes. Spring was drawing to a close, and you couldn’t just wear hoodies and leggings all year round, no matter how much you wanted to.

The mall was about two blocks away from the Starbucks, and as you chugged down your coffee, you slid your phone out of your back pocket of your jeans to see multiple notifications from Instagram. Just more people liking your posts, and some DMs, but you just rolled your eyes. You got tired of explaining on your stories that they were broken, and Instagram had no intent on trying to adjust it so you’d be able to view your messages and reply. You sighed, slipping it back into your pocket as you made your way through the entrance of the shopping mall.

Sasha was seated at a table in the cafeteria near the entrance you had just walked through. She jumped out of her seat, a wide smile on her lips as she strutted up to your form.

“You ate without me?” you pouted, smelling the leftover scent of pizza wash over you.

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m still hungry,” Sasha waved her hand. This girl had the fastest metabolism of a person you had ever met, so her statement didn’t really phase you.

“Okay, so, before I spend all my money and forget, we have to go to the lingerie shop,” you stated, stomping your way to the escalators.

“I’m guessing your OnlyFans is doing good?” she asked, knowing just how expensive this certain store was as she lingered behind you.

“Dude, you literally wouldn’t believe it,” you sighed dreamily. “If I had known how much money I’d be making, I would’ve done it way sooner. You should seriously consider making your own.”

“Nah, I’ll just let you have the spotlight on this one,” she snickered as the both of you stepped on the moving staircase. “Are they all creepy old men?”

“No, surprisingly, there’s a few people I have classes with that follow me,” you gossiped. “You know Jean from economics?”

Sasha nodded, eyes widening, “No fucking way, he’s my friend! I’m not that surprised though, he’s always talking to girls and asking for their Instagrams.”

“He’s never even talked to me, right? But he buys every single post I put out! Which is crazy, considering it’d just be cheaper for him to buy the subscription,” you shrugged, stepping off the escalator and walking shortly afterwards into the lingerie store. “That’s what most my viewers do, anyways.”

“Seen anyone else interesting?” Sasha hummed, eyeing the various garments surrounding her in intrigue.

Your eyes honed in on a strappy bright red one piece, “Just a few of his friends, I think. One of them is pretty cute, actually, but he’s only got one picture up.”

“You talking about Eren?”

You nodded, eyes lighting up, “Yeah, do you know him? I’ve never seen him around campus before.”

Sasha was beginning to plot, “Yeah he usually hangs out with Armin and Mikasa, but he goes to a lot of house parties. You know, actually, I think Jean is throwing one soon. He rented a cabin for after finals, you should come!”

“Won’t that be weird?” you scrunched your face, picking up the red one piece and moving onto the next garment that caught your eye. “Like I said, I’ve never even talked to him.”

“Yeah but you know Mikasa and me,” she raised her thumb towards herself. “Eren will be there too.”

“All I said was that I thought he was cute, Sasha,” you laughed her off. “But I’ll think about it. Text me the details and I’ll let you know if I’m free.”

“Something tells me Jean would be very happy to see you there,” Sasha chuckled, you giggling in response to her suggestive comment. The two of you picked through the selection of skimpy clothing, taking it up the cashier to check out.

You walked out of the store together, giggling over small banter. Your trip to the mall was quick after that, and in the end you held a grip full of medium sized paper bags, walking outside the mall with Sasha.

“Oh, hey!” Sasha suddenly quipped, placing her bags on the sidewalk, pulling her phone out of her crossbody bag. “We should take a picture!”

“Sasha I’m not even wearing lipstick,” you half heartedly complained, getting ready to pose next to your best friend.

“Literally, you’re so fucking hot,” she deadpanned, turning her head to look you directly in the eyes. “Shut up and get in, bitch.”

You threw your head back in laughter, leaning in on the left side of her frame, pushing your hair framing your face behind your ear. You smiled widely while Sasha did the same, hearing a soft click of her phone, indicating the photo was taken. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, bringing it out to see a notification stating she had posted it to her story. You’d repost it to your story later after you grabbed food, you decided, the conversation turning to the topic of where the two of you would eat before heading back to your apartment to get drunk in celebration of your semesters ending.

Eren and his two friends sat crowded in Jean’s dorm room bathroom, passing around a blunt. He could hear Connie coughing harshly as it was passed to Eren, the boy taking a deep drag of the backwoods cigarillo. Exhaling slowly, Eren brought his phone out of his hoodie pocket to open it up to change the song playing, his phone instantly opening to Instagram.

Distracted now by his favorite obsession, he glanced at the stories section, her name front in the line, glowing in that now familiar pink and purple circle. Eren couldn’t have tapped faster, and when he did, his mouth hung open.

“Yo,” Eren spoke loudly, shoving his phone in Jean and Connie’s faces. “Sasha knows this girl?”

“Yeah, they’re like best friends,” Connie quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t know her?”

“No, I just saw we had mutual friends,” Eren’s eyebrows knitted together. “How come we’ve never hung out with her before?”

“I don’t know actually,” Jean said, exhaling the blunt after it was passed to him from Eren’s fingertips. “I had a class with her this semester, she seems nice.”

“You’re only saying that because she’s hot,” Connie chuckled. “I bet you’ve never even talked to the girl.”

Jean’s face ignited in a fierce blush as he found interest in the ceiling tiles, “Shut up. It’s harder to talk to girls than it looks. You should know that, Connie.”

“Hey! I talk to girls!” Connie leaned up from his seated position on the floor.

“Idiots,” Eren sighed, rolling his eyes. “Neither of you have any game.”

“Not all of us are as gifted as you are, Eren,” Connie protested, a smirk spreading across his lips. “You could talk to a fucking mouse and it’d figure out someway to talk back.”

Eren rolled his eyes again, harder this time, “You just talk to girls like they’re human beings, it’s not that fucking hard.”

“Oh yeah? Betcha’ won’t be saying that whenever you see that girl around,” Jean teased, finally passing the blunt to Connie in the rotation, Connie muttering something about hogging it.

Eren shifted uncomfortably on the closed toilet seat, “Whatever, Jean.”

“Speak of the fucking devil!” Jean shouted, scaring the very high pair of boys at the suddenness. “Sasha just texted me asking if she can bring her this weekend to the cabin!”

Eren’s heart erupted into a flutter of uneven beats, his face heating up. This girl he had been drooling over was going to be at a party, with him? He suddenly felt like a teenager, the idea of seeing his precious addiction face to face giving him full blown anxiety.

Soft thuds of the bass of the stereo filled the room, catchy pop music drawing Eren out of his stupor to gaze hastily around the room, searching.

“What’s up with you tonight?” Armin had asked him, drawing his attention away once again. “It’s been an hour since the party started and you’ve barely drunk anything.”

Taking note of the full red solo cup in his hand, flickering his gaze between the liquid and his best friend, Eren shrugged and tipped the rim back in his lips, opening his throat and taking large gulps until the cup was empty. “Happy?”

Armin laughed loudly, although only having two strong drinks, his best friend was beginning to feel the numbness of intoxication, “You’re really out of it tonight, everything alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just waiting for the smoke sesh so I’m not cross faded,” Eren smirked, lying easily. “Last time I got too drunk and decided to rip Jean’s bong, I woke up in some random front yard with one shoe on.”

Armin shook his head in disbelief, “You really need to start making better life choices, Eren.”

Eren shook the empty solo cup in front of his friend, “I’m trying here.”

Truthfully, the reason Eren wasn’t halfway to getting shit faced was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the girl of his dreams. She still hadn’t shown up yet, and Eren was getting anxious that she wasn’t going to show. Sasha and Mikasa hadn’t shown up yet either, which gave him a resemblance of hope that the three of you were together, and on your way currently to the party. His heart thudded heavily in his ribcage as he heard the jingle of the front door turn, and his attention was fully concentrated on the door frame ahead of him. His jaw dropped at the sight, his breath caught in his throat.

You asked Sasha earlier that day what you should wear to the party, and Sasha had just waved and told you whatever you felt looked the best. Not exactly helpful, you had just decided on black ripped jeans and a low cut shirt, paired with your favorite leather jacket and trusty Vans. You felt incredibly undressed as Sasha drove to Mikasa’s house, watching her modelesque frame saunter out her front door towards the back car doors.

“Mikasa, you could make a paper bag look hot,” you showered her with appreciation, her face blushing in response as she tugged her long sleeved body con dress towards her knees. “Fuck, should I have worn a dress? How nice is everyone else dressed?”

Sasha couldn’t have given two fucks about how she dressed in front of her friends, adorned in blue skinny jeans and a causal crop top, although her face was beat to the Gods, “Shut the fuck up, you’re one to talk about making paper bags look good. Besides, knowing the boys they probably made minimal effort, probably all wearing sweatpants.”

The three of you snickered at this, and Sasha pushed the car into drive and set out on your 45 minute journey into the mountains. Nerves hadn’t set in until you were face to face with the cabin door, nervous that the girls’ friends weren’t going to like you. Putting a brave face on, Mikasa grasped the door knob and pushed it open, the three of you gliding in.

Eren honestly had wanted to drop down to his knees and kiss the ground you walked on. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Your eyes were searching, for what neither of you knew, until your eyes had finally landed on him. You smiled politely, moving your hand up in a quick wave to both him and Armin.

Eren couldn’t fathom moving any single part of his body, so awestruck by you. Jean shook Eren out of his dumbstricken state with a hard pat to his shoulder, “Why don’t you go introduce yourself, Eren?”

“Fuck off, horse face,” Eren spat, trying to will himself to either make strides towards you or to break his gaze, neither working. “Why don’t you?”

“I’d love to,” he smiled wickedly, inspired by liquid courage to lock arms with Eren and force him closer to the trio of girls that had finally made their appearance. Armin followed behind, Connie emerging out of the bathroom to give his hello’s to his best friend Sasha and company.

Eren could hear his heart beat in his ears as he stopped right in front of you, forcing his mouth closed in a tight lipped grimace. He felt like a fucking teenager with a crush.

“Hi,” you introduced yourself, smiling widely. “It’s so nice to finally meet you guys!”

“Nice to meet you too!” Armin spoke up, oblivious to his friends’ reaction to the fresh pretty face of yours.

Jean and Connie wouldn’t admit it, but they were feeling their own nervousness. Jean’s out of guilt as he scanned your body top to bottom, Connie’s natural shyness kicking in due to the newcomer. Both were able to overcome it though, and offer up their own introductions. Your eyes landed on Eren once again, tilting your head, waiting for his intro.

“I’m Eren,” he swallowed. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you looked down, smiling softly. You raised your hand then, looking up at the boys in front of you, revealing a handle of vodka. “I brought a gift with me too!”

“My kinda girl!” Jean spoke just a bit too enthusiastically. “Shots, shots, shots!”

Connie pumped his fist, chiming in, the rest of the party joining as well as the crowd made their way into the kitchen. Eren purposely hung back, trying to keep as close to you as possible.

“You happen to bring any chasers with you?” he had leaned in, tickling the side of your head with his breath.

“No, I totally forgot,” you sheepishly admitted.

“Looks like we’re all gonna get plastered then,” he chuckled smoothly, sending goosebumps down your body.

“Is it really a party then if at least one person doesn’t have their head in a toilet?” you had easily quipped back, feeling more comfortable now that the introductions were out of the way.

Eren hummed in half hearted agreement, feeling slightly more relaxed himself. Besides, his attention was being grasped by the plastic shot glass being shoved in his hand, as well as your dainty one. The group held up the shot glasses, a few phone cameras capturing the moment to post on their stories, and you all swung your heads back to allow the bitter liquid to trickle down your throats. Eren made a mild face, taking a stolen glance at your own to see your grimace, sticking your tongue out in disbelief at the taste.

Another hour had passed by, and Eren was running out of reasons to follow you around the cabin as you shifted between conversations to get to know the group of friends better. You hadn’t really noticed him trailing behind you, nor did you really care because you were very quickly warming up to Eren. It also didn’t hurt that he looked exceptionally better in person. His hair was lazily swung into a half top bun, wearing a couple of gold chains with his white tee tightly hugging his torso, tucked seamlessly into black ripped jeans displaying his muscular knee caps. Eren was definitely a looker, you shifted your gaze up to his face as he made some witty comment to Sasha, his eyes flickering to your face to catch your reaction.

“Oh my god, there was this one time,” Sasha spoke your name. “She had gotten so high during last year’s spring break, and the two of us and Mikasa came up with the brilliant idea of becoming one with nature. So, naturally, we ran to Walmart and bought this tent on clearance. Turns out it was made for kids, so none of us actually fit inside when we got back to Mikasa’s house. Mikasa and I curled up in a ball, surrounded by snacks, and this smart girl over here decided it was the best choice to just lay out on the lawn and pass out.”

“I wanted to watch the sun rise!” you laughed, trying to quickly explain yourself to Eren’s amused smirk. “And the grass was just so nice that night!”

“The grass was basically straw,” Sasha countered teasingly. “Twenty degrees outside, absolutely freezing. She was MIA for like a week afterwards with a cold.”

You shrugged carelessly, “Worth it.”

Now the two of you had sleeping on lawns in common? Eren scoffed inwardly. Yup, it was official, you were his soulmate. Still though, the topic of why you were so casual in person while your naked pictures existed online tickled his thoughts. He was hoping that somehow it’d get brought up naturally in conversation, saving himself the embarrassment if you were to get offended by his questioning. So far it seemed you liked him, not having said a word about him trailing after you like a lost puppy. Jean had been sending him knowing looks all night, Connie shooting two thumbs up at Eren while Armin looked on in confusion.

Mikasa had strolled out of the bathroom finally, joining the trio who stood casually in the living room, simply stating, “I’m starving. You guys think they deliver pizza out here?”

Sasha’s eyes widened in excitement, “I don’t care if it takes an hour to get here. We’re ordering right now.”

Already ahead of the two, your phone was pulled out in your hands to open up the Dominoes app, punching in the location of the party and placing the order online. Eren watched this all, peering over your hands to see the total.

“Guys, we should chip in,” Eren called out, grabbing the boys’ attention. “We’re ordering pizza.”

“No, no!” you protested, confirming the order. “It’s really fine, my treat.”

“But that’s really expensive,” he frowned, the group all joined together in the living room.

“Don’t worry, she’s got that OnlyFans money,” Sasha waved off Eren’s concern.

“OnlyFans?” Armin questioned, darting his eyes in between Sasha and you. “What’s that?”

Jean hid his blushing cheeks and your eyes flickered to him, then back to Armin, “I sell naked pictures online.”

“So what, a bunch of old guys give you money?” Armin had asked innocently, not judgemental in the slightest.

You giggled, relieved he wasn’t asking in a demeaning manner, “Actually, you’d be really surprised about who you know follows me. There’s a lot of people from school.”

Eren’s blood ran cold as he felt a sudden onset of embarrassment. Did that mean you had known this entire time Eren was one of these followers? If you did, you didn’t let on to it, smiling shyly as the questions ended. Eren hadn’t been done with the conversation, but pride from exposing himself in front of his friends kept his mouth shut.

It was around one in the morning when the party was at its peak. Sasha was being held up by her legs by Connie as she did a keg stand, you and the group cheering the girl on in your own drunken hazes. She tapped the large can, indicating she was finished, Connie settling her down on solid ground as she belched loudly.

“That was fucking awesome, Sasha!” you giggled, throwing your arms up and around her. You were definitely feeling the shots you had been feeding yourself all night, holding your red solo cup high above the girl so it wouldn’t slosh on her.

“You should totally try it!” she encouraged devilishly.

You pouted then, taking a moment to consider, “I’ve never done a keg stand before, what if I can’t do it?”

“I’ll help you!” Eren all but pounced on the opportunity, your smile turning into a tipsy giggle. “It’s not that hard, you just keep chugging until you can’t anymore. I’ll hold you, you got this.”

You lightly blushed, nodding your head at the encouragement, bringing a fist to your chest as a salute, “I’ll do it! We gotta’ put on a cool song though, if I’m going to fail miserably I might as well have a good song to do it to.”

Mikasa volunteered, as she was already DJ, having the best music taste out of everyone in the group. She dug her phone out of her pocket, switching over to a ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ remix. Connie whooped at the choice, and everyone began to chant your name as you hovered by the keg, very nervous. Eren then placed his large hand on the small of your back, leaning in to reassure you once again. You gulped, nodding that you were ready to get into position.

“Okay, so you’re going to lean your arms on the top of the can, and I’ll grab your legs. Like when you were a kid and you’d do that stupid wheelbarrel thing,” Eren easily explained, chuckling lightly. “Use your hands to let me know when you’re done.”

You did as you were told, resting your upper body against the keg as Eren hooked his arms around your calves. He couldn’t help but admire how strong your legs felt in his grasp, and how right it felt to finally have some bodily contact. He had been trying to figure out a natural way all night, and he was bubbling over in excitement, the chance had arisen, glorious in the promise of touch.

You placed your lips hesitantly around the tap, opening it up into your mouth, and began to chug. ‘Chug, chug, chug!’ was chanted all around you, even Mikasa joining in on the fun. Fists bumped in the air, and you felt like the coolest fucking person in the world. Doing a keg stand wasn’t exactly in your goals list, but fuck did it feel like it should’ve been as your ego inflated.

“That’s it, you’re doing great!” Eren’s thumbs brushed the inside of your knees, leaning in to whisper. “Good girl.”

You sputtered around the tap, choking harshly. You removed your mouth quickly to gasp for air, and the tap shot up all over your shirt, jacket long forgotten resting on the sofa in the living room. Eren moved your legs down to the floor quickly seeing this, and wrapped his arm around your waist to steady you as your arm shot out to grab onto something, in this case his other arm.

“You alright?” Jean asked, a look of concern washing over his features as you finally got some air into your lungs.

“Yeah,” you coughed again, blushing in embarrassment. “I definitely made a mess though.”

“I brought some extra clothes with me,” Eren offered quickly. “One of these idiots always manages to somehow spill something within the first hour of drinking. I’ll show you where my bag is at.”

You smiled in appreciation, biting your tongue to accuse him of purposely throwing you off your game with his little praise that had your knees buckling. He unwound his arm, taking your hand and leading you to the staircase by the entryway, your smaller form following behind him as he thudded up the stairs. Three doors greeted you at the top, and he led you into the master bedroom, plainly decorated and lacking personal belongings. You watched as he chucked a duffle bag onto the mattress, unzipping it and going through his clothes. He found a sweatshirt, smirking inwardly as it had been one of his old sports ones with his last name embroidered on the back. Proud he could provide a claim to you, he extended it to you, and you gladly accepted it.

“Well, you did really well in the beginning there,” he chuckled, whisking his stray baby hairs behind his ear. “Sucks about the shirt though. The first time I tried to do a keg stand, I barfed everywhere.”

You laughed lightly, fingering the hem of your shirt, “I guess it could’ve been a lot worse. Still, at least I can check this off my bucket list.”

Eren’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as you lifted your shirt to reveal your bare stomach, and he whisked his body completely around so you didn’t see his reddened cheeks, “You could’ve asked me to leave.”

Behind him, you let a mischievous smirk cross your lips, “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Eren’s mouth fell open at your bold statement, letting his words leave before he could stop them, “You know?”

“Of course,” you discarded the sodden shirt to the floor, sitting on the bed instead of tossing the sweatshirt on. “You’re my favorite viewer.”

He caught your movement in the corner of his eye, and he turned his head to take in the sight. Fuck, you were even more beautiful in person. Your bra was white and pretty and dainty, pushing your tits together, accentuating cleavage that Eren wanted to bury his face in. His gaze moved up to your face, smiling so innocently at him as he let out a dark chuckle, “Is that so?”

You hummed, leaning back to expose your form a bit more, feeling confident from the alcohol, “You like every one of my pictures, you buy all my content, you’re pretty cute, of course you’re my favorite.”

Eren’s ego soared as he turned his body completely towards you, taking a small step forward, “You’re just so beautiful, how could I not? I do have to ask this though, how come you never answered any of my messages?”

“Oh, my DMs are broken. Instagram doesn’t let me view them or respond,” you explained easily. “You know, you could’ve hit me up on OnlyFans, I definitely would have answered you.”

A blush crept up on Eren again as he averted his gaze to the floor, “I didn’t think about that.”

You giggled softly, “What’d you send me anyways?”

“I asked you out on a date,” he admitted, growing more nervous. “Told you that you were really pretty. Y’know, stuff you probably get all the time.”

“Most of my messages are from guys trying to take me out drinking and to get a quick fuck,” you scoffed. “Y’know, if the offer is still on the table, I’d really like to take you up on it.”

“Really?” Eren’s eyes met yours in surprise, you watched his Adam’s apple bob along his throat as he gulped. “You’d want to go out with me?”

“Yeah, who else is going to hold me up when I try to do a keg stand again?” you smiled sheepishly, batting your eyelashes. Eren’s hands twitched at his sides, fuck, you were so pretty.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked seriously, his gaze hardening as he felt a wave of possessiveness. In his mind, you were already his girlfriend. You had accepted his date, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to push his luck further.

Eren had never felt the way he feels right now. He took immediate notice of your blushing cheeks, your confident lean turn into a shy arch as you pushed your body into a hunched over seating position. Eren had experience with girls, that everyone knew as a fact, he was very far from being a virgin. You made him feel like a fucking virgin, heart beating wildly in his chest. All he wanted to do was to grab you and hide you away for his own greedy pleasure, the darkest parts of his mind tickled by the thought. He had laid a claim to you way before he had ever met you, and he wouldn’t let you escape now that he had you here, alone.

You didn’t answer his request, you pushed yourself off the mattress and met his staggering stance halfway. Unknown to his wicked thoughts, his past month of obsessing of you, you leaned up, gently brushing your lips against his. No one had ever asked you this simple question before, instead just taking the action as if they had owned you, and you thought to yourself that you could really love this boy who presented himself so innocently to you.

The soft placement of your lips to his was not enough, and Eren buried his mouth with your own, moving both of his hands to cup your face. He could feel your jaw beneath the pads of his fingertips as you attempted to meet his pace, sensual and passionate. The need for air forgotten for the both of you, sucking in deeply through your noses as the space continued to close between your bodies.

“Gonna take you someplace real nice,” muttered Eren as he pulled away slightly to gaze his half lidded eyes on your fluttering eyelashes, your gaze now hidden from him. “I know you like that one place in the city, I saw your little post of you wearing that tight dress. You looked so fucking pretty.”

Tingles shivered up your bones, a sharp intake of breath as you fluttered your eyes open to take in his deep lustful expression, “I’ll wear it for you, if you want.”

“Wear my necklace too.”

You pulled away completely this time, baffled, “Your necklace?”

“The one with the ‘E’ on it,” he breathed, moving forward to accommodate the sudden distance, his lips meeting the corner of your mouth. You realized then what he was referring to, a small smirk uplifting his kiss. You wouldn’t tell him though that the necklace in question was just some random trinket with no meaning you had purchased, or that you hadn’t even recognized the pretty cursive as a letter. You figured out very quickly Eren’s little crush was a bit more involved than just him attached to your hip at this party. No, it was way deeper than that. All of the likes, the money, the new information of messages made sense to you. Eren had believed you were his, and he had sought out confirmation all night to prove it.

“Okay,” you played along to his fantasy, an expert since it was your job online already to provide this to your viewers. “What else do you want me to wear?”

“There’s this one set of lingerie,” Eren was the one to pull back now, letting his teal eyes trail downwards to your chest, displeased by the lack of skin shown to him in that instance. “The black lacy one, fuck, wear that. You look so fucking sexy in that.”

“You don’t like when I wear white?” you pouted, bringing your hands to rest against the peak of your breasts, framing them like a picture.

“I like anything you wear,” a smirk crossed his features, eyes locked in on your tits. “Or what you don’t wear.”

You were met with two choices then. One, kiss Eren and get dressed and save yourself for your date, or two, fulfill his now present fantasy of his that was beginning to morph into your own. You mentally battled the decision in your mind, feeling the desire curl in your stomach at each option. If you were to give in now, Eren might not want to continue to chase after you, the promise of an actual date forgotten. Not to mention the party of people down stairs, the thud of music softened behind the closed door of the bedroom indicating it was still in full swing. Eren saw your hesitation, and let his hands travel to your elbows comfortingly.

“I know we technically just met,” he started, eyes now locked in on yours in genuine honesty. “But I really like you. You’re all I’ve thought about for the past month, so if you don’t feel comfortable going any further, that’s okay, I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you bit your lip as you watched his teal orbs flicker to your mouth. “It’s just — oh God, this is embarrassing to talk about so soon.”

“Shh, it’s okay, I won’t judge,” he cooed, bringing just a hand up to soothe over your cheek.

“I’m not exactly quiet,” you admitted, gesturing towards the floor. “I don’t really want to be the girl who fucks someone at the first party they show up to.”

Eren hadn’t predicted you to be loud in his fantasies, but he was really wishing he had. He held back a groan at your confession, images of what could be filling his dirty mind, “Fuck, okay, no problem. I don’t have any condoms with me anyways.”

“Actually,” you drawled. “I’m on the pill, so as far as that goes, that doesn’t really matter. I’m clean too, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

Boxes were being ticked quickly off of Eren’s checklist, and he let his jaw hang open, “I’m clean too, I don’t fuck anyone without a condom, to be honest.”

I’m going to fuck her raw, is all that was going through his mind. Treat her so good, take her out wearing her pretty little dress and treat her like a fucking princess.

“Please tell me you’re free tomorrow,” Eren pleaded. “I’ll take us fucking anywhere you want.”

“I am, actually,” you batted your eyelashes.

“Cool,” he muttered, beginning to feel drawn into your lips again. As you began to lean back in, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

“Hey! Everything alright?” you both froze, recognizing the voice as Armin’s. Of course he’d be the only one to dare interrupt, and the party below had discouraged him. Eren had taken you upstairs, and while they were all aware of the possibility of the two of you would be hooking up, Armin was more concerned that one or both of you had gotten sick and were in need of help.

“Yeah, we’re fine! Be out in a second!” Eren shouted, feeling suddenly frazzled from the intense interaction between you two. If Armin had opened the door, seeing the two of you locked in together so closely, making out feverishly, it would be completely mortifying. Especially since it wouldn’t be the first time Armin had accidentally seen his best friend in a suggestive situation.

You pecked his lips quickly then, breaking out of his embrace to throw his sweatshirt over your head. Eren was counting backwards in his head to rid himself of the half erection in his pants, nearly impossible as he thought about how pretty you looked in his clothing.

“C’mon,” you tugged at his hand, urging him to follow you back downstairs. “We have a pizza to eat and friends to convince that we definitely didn’t just fuck for ten minutes.”

The group hadn’t made a single comment when you two rejoined the party, only just knowing smirks from Jean and Connie to Eren. Sasha had wiggled her eyebrows at you, and you quickly pulled her and Mikasa into the bathroom to recap what had just occurred upstairs. The girls clapped drunkenly at your news of a date, incredibly excited that their best friend was finally going out with a boy. The night had ended around three in the morning, bodies scattered throughout the house to pass out wherever they pleased. Eren had continued to stay by you the rest of the night, this time, not shy at all as he stole touches to your back. And when it came time to pass out, you felt smugness as he rested his head on your back while you laid on your side on the same bed upstairs, his arm thrown tightly around your waist. Sasha curled up in front of you, your own head snuggling into her shoulder as the room spun you into a deep slumber.

You sat at a vanity in your apartment bedroom the next evening, applying various makeups to your face. Mikasa had awoken you and Sasha pretty early the next morning, wanting to go home so she could get ready for her job. Eren snored quietly behind you as you tried your best to maneuver out of his grasp, and the three of you cleaned up the cups and plates scattered around the house as a thank you to Jean for the invitation. Sasha had driven you all the way back to your place when you realized you were still wearing Eren’s hoodie, and you smirked. Now he definitely had a reason to get you on this date tonight, you had something that belonged to him.

When Eren had woken up, he truly believed for a few minutes that you had just been a dream. Pictures and videos posted all over Instagram had shown him differently though, the two of you leaning against each other on the leather couch smiling drunkenly on Armin’s story had his heart pounding. His arm was around your shoulders, your head was tilted in the crook of his neck, and then Eren remembered that he was going to see you again tonight. He took a screenshot before the story moved on to a video of the group in a heated discussion about music tastes, a quiet chuckle made its way out of his throat as he recounted memories that would become very fond to him.

He had posted the picture then to his Instagram, a few others followed after that included him and his other friends. Eren tagged all of the people, but most importantly, the picture of the two of you was the first in the line up of the photo set. A few messages hit his inbox after he hit the post button, some classmates asking if you were his girlfriend, because you were wearing his sweatshirt in the photo. He decided to not respond, because as much as he wanted to tell them yes, he knew he’d be jumping the gun. His heart raced as a notification popped up — you had liked the picture, and added a comment, ‘last night was a movie’ with a kiss emoji. When he refreshed the page, your lit up story showed him that you had even reposted his photo set. His ego soared, his affections no longer one sided, and he couldn’t fucking wait to take you out later and show you the best time he could.

Eren had gotten your phone number from Sasha not long before your date, asking for your address and trying to pick out a time to head out to dinner. You tapped a response quickly, and looked at the clock to gauge how much time you’d need to be fully ready. That had been about three hours ago, your body had been scrubbed and shaved, hair curled prettily down your back as you added the final touches of lipstick to your lips. The dress Eren had talked about was laid out on your perfectly made bed, a pretty satin champagne colored fabric, and your apartment was fairly clean, fully expecting his company after the date of all went well. You dressed yourself easily, slipping on black heels when you heard the chime of your phone, letting you know Eren was awaiting you outside.

When the elevator doors chimed open as you walked into your lobby, you saw from the entrance doors Eren leaned back casually against the Uber he had offered to pay for. His attention immediately focused on your form as you exited your building, his gaze flickered all over your body.

“You look incredible,” Eren easily complimented, pushing himself up to stand straight. He leaned in to kiss your blushing cheek as you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’, and he pulled the door handle of the sleek black car, ushering you inside. He slammed it closed after you had positioned yourself comfortably, giving the driver a soft greeting as Eren circled around the back, getting in on the opposite side. The directions were already plugged into the driver’s GPS, and it took less than twenty minutes to get to the restaurant in question.

This gave you enough time to take in Eren’s appearance, and damn if you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to do so, the sight practically mouth watering. His hair hung low in a messy bun, a few complementary strands hanging out to frame his sharp jawline. His torso was adorned in a sheer white long sleeve button up, a small portion of his chest revealed as he had left the top buttons alone, chains hanging against his collarbones, silver in color this time. Black slacks that tightened around his thighs and calves had you biting your lip in appreciation, his legs spread as he took up space in the backseat.

“Staring isn’t very polite,” he had leaned in, taking notice of your devouring gaze.

“Stop dressing like a whore and maybe I won’t stare,” you teased back, chuckling quietly when he swatted your exposed thigh lightly. He kept his hand there for the rest of the drive, enjoying the comfortable silence as the quiet hum of the radio filled in the gaps.

When the Uber had slowed to a stop outside of the fancy restaurant Eren had insisted taking you to, he swung the door open before you had a chance to reach for the handle on your side. He raced to the other side of the car, pulling open the door and extending his hand out for you to grasp onto. You circled your fingers around his palm, and he tightened his grasp as you swung your legs over the flooring, and stood before him. The two of you thanked the driver, and he sped away shortly after. Hand still locked in with yours, Eren led the way inside the opened doors of the restaurant. Inside, a hostess wearing a very classy black uniform greeted the two of you.

“Reservation for Eren,” he spoke smoothly, and your eyes widened in surprise, expecting to have sat and waited for at least a half an hour before you had been seated.

“Right this way,” she smiled politely, two menus in her hands as she welcomed you into the dining area. You followed behind Eren, realizing that this place must’ve been a lot more expensive than you originally had gauged. All the guests appeared in their very best formal attire, and the chatter was soft as the beautiful notes of a piano resounded throughout the space. While you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the music was coming from, you had a strong feeling that there was a physical player somewhere in the midst, it sounded so clear and professional. When the hostess had sat you down in a booth secluded against the furthest set wall, she smiled politely once more and informed you that the waiter would be with you soon.

“Eren,” you hissed as you sat opposite of his smirking form. “This place is stupid fancy!”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waved easily. “I got it, I promise.”

“How are you able to afford this? I’ve got a little bit of money and even I couldn’t go some place this nice,” you questioned, feeling a small pang of guilt. He was going to go broke trying to treat you to a very nice, albeit expensive, meal.

“My dad is a doctor,” he shrugged, picking up the menu and eyeing over their drink selection. “He sends me money whenever I come around and help around his office.”

“Following in the family footsteps?” you tried at the conversation, realizing you virtually knew nothing about the boy in front of you.

“Nah, I’m more into the business side of things,” he smiled up at you then, showing off his pearly white teeth. “What about you? What are you majoring in?”

You spoke of your major, Eren carefully listening in of your passions and your goals for your future ahead. He was pleased to hear that you were ambitious, smiling as he was enamored by your speech. Not that he minded a single bit about your online job, but to hear that you had a legitimate career goal soothed his worries.

A finely dressed waiter greeted you shortly, introducing himself and taking the both of your orders in one go, and stole away the menus. The rest of the date flew by quickly, tipsy from your cocktails and full of giggles as the two of you got to know one another. Although Eren was already knowledgeable about a number of your likes and dislikes and personality quirks due to Instagram, you had the undisguisable pleasure of learning his right then and there.

“So,” you leaned your elbows onto the table, resting your chin atop of your closed fists. “Tell me, how many girls have you taken here before?”

“Not a single one,” he chuckled lowly, passing the black booklet encasing his credit card as the waiter stopped at the table. “This is actually my first time taking anyone out somewhere so fancy. Usually I just hang out at the more lowkey spots around campus.”

“I would’ve been totally okay with going somewhere like that instead,” you frowned, that same guilt flooding back to your stomach. Eren hadn’t even let you see the bill before he had given it away, so you were completely ignorant as far as how far the total rang up. “You really didn’t have to take me out to such an expensive place.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, smirking as he did so, “Had to take my favorite girl somewhere nice, show you off in that gorgeous dress of yours.”

You blushed, moving your fists to hold your cheeks to try and contain the heat, “Fine, but next time, I want to see one of these ‘lowkey spots’.”

“Next time, huh?” Eren mused cockily.

“Yes, I guess I had a really great time tonight, consider yourself honored,” you giggled half heartedly.

“Oh believe me, I do.”

Eren had walked you to the front door of your apartment like the gentleman he was. Really, he was just trying to procrastinate leaving you, not wanting the night to be over with quite yet. Luckily, you were on the exact same page as he stood awkwardly behind you while you unlocked your front door.

You turned, an eyebrow raised, “Well? Are you coming in or what?”

“Say less,” he sighed in relief, following your sauntering frame inside your apartment. He was initially impressed as you flicked the light switch on the wall up, illuminating your precious space. Very clean and organized, he felt a pang of jealousy, knowing his own dorm room was scattered with clothes and empty water bottles. If he had only seen what your living space looked like before you had straightened up, he might have felt better about himself.

“I have some róse in the fridge,” you offered, making your way to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass?”

“No lie, that’s literally my favorite wine,” Eren groaned. “How are you this perfect?”

You laughed loudly, grabbing two wine glasses from your cabinet, opening your fridge and retrieving the bottle. Filling the glasses generously, you left the bottle on your kitchen counter and turned around, Eren a lot closer than where you had left him a moment ago. You extended his cup, which he graciously took and sipped. You mirrored him, gulping down your own mouthful.

“Y’know,” he started, gazing around your kitchen space. “For all that talk of mimosas in your Instagram bio, I really expected there to be a lot more pictures of you drinking them.”

You chuckled once again, “Believe me, I have plenty of orange juice, vodka, and champagne here. We had such a classy dinner, I thought I’d try and match it with some wine. Besides, vodka brings out the worst in me.”

“Ah, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes, swatting his bicep harmlessly. “I get what you’re about at brunch with the girls.”

“If I had a nickel for every time Mikasa had to peel me and Sasha off the pavement after mimosas and scones, I’d be fucking rich,” you giggled once again, raising the glass to your lips.

“I’m really surprised we hadn’t met each other before last night, especially because Mikasa and I have been best friends since we were little,” Eren raised an eyebrow. “She’s basically my sister, and never once did she say anything about you, I only met Sasha because Connie’s attached to her hip and they share the same brain cell.”

“If it makes you feel better, I only knew Jean existed because we had a class together this semester,” you shrugged, purposefully leaving out the part where he consumed your content almost as much as Eren did.

“And of course me,” Eren smirked cheekily. “Because I’m your favorite viewer, like you said.”

“Don’t make me regret telling you that,” you pointed your glass towards him in a fake threat.

“It’s okay, you’re my favorite girl, so it evens itself out,” Eren placed his half drunk glass on the counter top, his gaze much more seductive. “Besides, you wore my necklace like I asked, I gotta tease you a little bit.”

“I wore pretty much everything you wanted me to,” you smirked, copying his actions and settling your own cup down.

“Did you now?” he took long strides to stand in front of you, toying with the necklace that he had laid claim over.

“I can show you, if you want to see,” you leaned up with full intentions of capturing his kiss.

“There’s nothing else I would rather do, pretty girl,” Eren cooed, licking his lips before meeting you in the middle. His arms circled around your waist, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as the pace started out slowly. Gentle was not what either of you wanted though, the desperation seeping in fast as his fingers explored your sides.

“Bedroom,” you gasped as he removed his lips and attached them to your jaw. He had no qualms of fucking you right out here in the kitchen, so he made no effort to move. Realizing you had to take the reins, you moved backwards from Eren, smirking as he groaned from the sudden distance. His eyes followed you predatorily as he began to chase after you, your back meeting the wooden paneling of your bedroom door. He attempted to recapture your mouth, but your hand was faster in turning the door knob, and you began to lead him back until your mattress met the backs of your knees.

“Want you to show me what you’re wearing under that dress,” Eren demanded, playing with the short hem that rested on your thighs.

You nodded, giving him the silent okay to take off the fabric encompassing your frame. You turned so your back faced him, moving your hair out of the way so he could unzip the back. His eyes followed as he fingered the silver zipper, agonizingly teasing himself as more and more was revealed to him. Seeing the straps of the black lace he had requested drunkenly the night before, his patience snapped as he pulled the metal piece down faster. You slid the tiny straps off your shoulders at the sweet feeling of release, and Eren’s dick was rock fucking solid as it pooled around your feet, you kicked the silky fabric to the side and faced him once more.

“You’re wearing everything I told you to,” he stated, drinking in the sight of your scantily clad body. “Good girl.”

You bit back an embarrassing moan at his praise, feeling the heat pool between your thighs. It came as such a shock to you to be so reactive to his words, and it came slamming into you that maybe you weren’t as vanilla as you had previously believed. You had a kink! It all made so much sense, why you felt such pride and arousal from complete strangers giving you their attention and compliments online. You yearned for it, craved the affections, and now that Eren stood in front of you, more than willing to shower you with pretty words, all the moisture in your mouth dried up. You wanted him so fucking bad.

Eren’s hands met the naked skin of your waist as his palms etched over your soft stomach. They met in the middle of your back, leaning your back onto the mattress as he climbed on top of you, a single hand coming up to work on discarding his button up. You rushed to help, pads of your fingers working the buttons open until he revealed his bare chest, his chains hanging above you. He worked his arms out quickly, tossing the fabric onto the floor. He brought his lips to yours, this kiss much more desperate and needy than the previous ones. His hands explored every inch of your body, the tops of your thighs to the swell of your breasts. He tugged on the soft lace at the top, slowly bringing the black fabric down to expose the complete fullness of your breasts. A sight familiar yet somehow new made Eren groan, the pads of his thumbs brushing against your pretty nipples, instantly hardening them.

You moaned lightly, throwing your head back and arching your back into his touch. How many times had Eren pictured you just like this?

“I fucked my fist so many fucking times thinking about you,” he confessed as he pressed slow open mouthed kisses to your collarbone. “You have no idea what your pictures did to me, no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”

He leaned his bottom half forward, pressing his thick clothed erection into the meat of your thigh. You let out a whimper, head foggy as his words made your pussy clench around nothing.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he licked a stripe up your neck, leaving a wet saliva trail as he wrapped his lips around where he could feel your pulse the strongest. “My pretty girl.”

While Eren wanted to talk about what you did to him, all you could think about was what he was doing to you. The want and need that coursed through your veins was like a drug, you could feel him worming his way into your bloodstream, straight to the center of your heart and out to the warmest parts of your body. And you felt like an addict in that moment too, and every moment you would spend with Eren there after. You could feel his kisses as if he was underneath your skin, his entire body pressed against yours. So, so close, yet not close enough.

“Take off your pants,” you demanded shakily, placing your hands at the button of his slacks. He seemed to be on the same page of you yet again, and he followed his instructions without delay. He kicked out of the tight pants with ease, and you were more than pleased to see he had rid himself of his boxers too when you heard the thick slap of his cock meeting his stomach.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes widened. “Eren, that’s not going to fit.”

“Don’t worry,” he soothed your hair back from your face, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose. “I’ll make sure you’re nice and wet for me.”

He started to move south, licking and giving attention to your right nipple as he did so. While the idea of him giving you thorough attention was erotic, you really wanted to please him for your first time together, unknown to you as Eren had thought the exact same thing, wanting to make you feel so good you’d come crawling back to him for more.

You pushed yourself up into a seating position, Eren’s eyes flickering in confusion as you stood up. This look didn’t last for long as you switched positions, pushing his torso onto the bed as you rested atop of him, feet placed firmly on the ground. His mouth hung open in disbelief as you began to return his assault on his neck, sucking and kissing and even biting along the columns. He let out a shaky groan, unable to hold it back as your hands traveled down his chest to his abdomen, feeling over the muscles there.

“What’re you doing, princess?” Eren questioned teasingly, not trying to get his hopes up on what your plan seemed to be.

“Wanna’ make you feel good,” your eyes flickered up to meet the dark green of his eyes, watching as his pupils expanded as the realization hit him like a brick.

“Fuck, okay,” Eren subconsciously widened his thighs then, bringing himself up to lean on his elbows as your kisses followed shortly behind the trail of your fingers.

Your mouth met the defined muscle of his stomach, and your eyes drifted up to catch Eren’s reaction as you neared closer to his aching cock. His eyes were hardened on you, brows knitted together, he almost looked angry. You kitten licked above his navel, and knew the anger was superficial as he threw his head back, letting out a quiet groan. You leaned your body in closer, pushing your exposed chest against his length. He whipped his head forward again at the contact, his lips opened as he inhaled shaky breaths.

Part of you had kind of wanted to hear Eren beg for your mouth, but the thought had quickly left your head as he entangled his fingers into the back of your scalp, massaging gently as he did so. Without a moment of hesitation, you lowered your face so you were eye to eye with his thick shaft. Honestly, you really hadn’t expected Eren to be this big. You had caught a glimpse of his half erect member tenting in his pants the night before, but as it stood to full attention, you were very much intimidated by the sheer size. You gulped, putting on a brace face as you continued on.

The sound of Eren’s groans growing louder as you licked a bold stripe from the bottom of his base to the tip of his head had stirred your cunt deeply. You were on your knees now, feet tucked up under you when you felt the wet patch of your panties touch the back of your heels. You licked a few more times, your right hand trailing down from his stomach to grip him more upright. You pulled all the saliva in your mouth onto your tongue, and wrapped your lips around his tip while your hand secured a purposeful grip at his base. You started slow, only sucking in your cheeks and moving your tongue along the underside of his head, pumping him at the same pace. You could feel beads of spit meet your knuckles, circling your tongue around the entirety of his fat mushroom tip. You smoothly licked along his slit, collecting his gushing precum and tasting the salty liquid.

Meanwhile as you had just started your worship of his cock, Eren was watching you in disbelief as your eyelashes fluttered along your cheeks, mouth prepping yourself to take in his full length. He had pulled himself into a sitting position now to provide you the best angle he could. He was in complete awe, furrowing eyebrows and his mouth hanging open, he knew in that moment there was absolutely no point of return. He would follow you from here on out, whether it be online or in reality, wherever you would go. Soulmates, he reminded himself while he collected your hair into his fist and away from your mouth. You were his fucking soulmate.

You pressed your knees upward, eyes opening. Eren’s pupils were blown out, his breathing irregular, and you wanted to watch him completely unfold as you angled your head to drop lower onto his shaft, hand working just a little faster.

“Fuck —“ he stuttered, eyes blazing into yours. “That’s it, take all of me, you’re such a good girl.”

You moaned lightly at his praise once again, and Eren’s cock hit the back of your throat. You pulled your lips up slowly, tongue caressing the underside of his member the entire time, and quickly brought your unoccupied hand into a fist. This was the first time you would be trying out this trick, reading it in a magazine since your gag reflex was very strong and this helped soothe the impulse. Eren was not prepared in the slightest as you removed the hand gripping him, letting his dick fall forward a bit more. You took a deep breathe through your nose, spit coating his entire cock now, and pushed your mouth fast back down his shaft.

Eren let out a strangled gasp when your nose brushed against his pelvis, “Holy fucking — fuck. Shit, yeah, just like that. You look so fucking pretty right now.”

Tears were threatening the spill over your lash line and you bobbed your head furiously, taking in as much as you could before you gagged. You stared up at him the entire time, watching his face screw together as you lapped and sucked his cock. Your jaw was aching already from his size, minding your teeth placement as you quickened your pace. You returned your hand to wrap and pump whatever your mouth wasn’t able to reach as you set yourself into a more comfortable pattern. Your other hand cupped his balls, swirling them softly in your palms.

Eren’s fingers yanked you back, his dick falling out of your lips in a soft pop, as you looked up in confusion, “Gonna’ stop you there baby, gonna’ make me cum.”

His hand in your hair guided you back up to his lips, and Eren could taste himself as his tongue pushed through your swollen mouth to enter yours. You moaned into the kiss, so sloppy and messy, you took no notice of Eren’s hands wiping away the leftover dribble on your chin. He yanked you back, a bit rougher this time, and you panted, rubbing your thighs together at the force. He eyed you up, your beautiful tits still on display, the fabric of your lace bra folded underneath them.

“Get naked for me, princess,” he cooed, untangling his fingers from your scalp. You did as you were told, practically ripping the lace set off your body as you soon stood stark naked in front of Eren. He pushed his legs up, joining you. You felt very small then as he towered above you, playing with the tips of your hair, he guided you around until you were forced to lay yourself flat on your back on the mattress once again.

Eren caressed your shins as he stood tall in front of you, never breaking eye contact. You could still see the glistening of your saliva on his cock, and heat continued to pool in between your thighs in anticipation of his next move.

“Look at you,” he whispered, wrapping his fingers on the tops of your bent knees, legs closed together. “So pretty, it almost hurts to look at you.”

His darkened eyes shot down, drinking you all in before settling on your closed legs. With his hands, he gently forced them to part, and he let out a quiet moan at the sight in front of him. Dripping in arousal, almost sparkling and shining like the gem you were, your pussy spread open for him, begging for his attention. His gaze darted up back to your face, trying not to get too carried away as he admired your beautiful body.

Eren let out a dark chuckle, stroking his hands to the meat of your thighs, “You have no idea the things I have planned for us, princess.”

You whimpered, unable to voice a single word. His right hand moved towards your center, and you gasped sharply as he gently grazed your folds with the lightest of touches. His thumb landed a hair above your clit, and you squirmed, desperate now. He circled so slowly on your pearl, gazing on with an inflated ego. Eren wanted you to beg for him, to tell you all about those ideas he had going on in his head while he fucked his fingers into you.

He decided to go easy on you though, you had plenty of time ahead of you to learn exactly what he wanted when it came to the bedroom, he cooed, “I’m gonna’ show you off, just like you deserve. Gonna’ buy you pretty things, treat you like the fucking princess you are — gonna’ be my pretty girl.”

“Please, Eren,” you whimpered, attempting to push your pelvis into his hand, failing miserably as his other one gripped your thigh in place. “I need you.”

“Tell me exactly what you need, baby,” Eren smirked.

“Everything,” you breathed out. “I want you to keep calling me pretty, wan’ you to fuck me.”

“We’ll get to that part soon,” he paused, lowering his head to your inner thigh, getting to his knees on the floor. “Just need to make you feel good first, pretty girl.”

Eren licked a bold stripe up your pussy as you mewled, feeling a shred of relief as the tip of his tongue circled your clit. You felt a bead of saliva, probably mixed in with your own arousal, travel down the seam of your ass. Eren was starving, and you tasted so delicious, a sweet tart flavor exploding across his taste buds. He flattened his tongue, and looked up to watch your gorgeous face as his lips engulfed your clit.

You threw your head back, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you attached your hands to your breasts, pulling and tugging on your nipples. He positioned his hands to the back of your thighs then, somehow managing to spread you open even more. The sounds he made in between your folds were wet and sloppy, and he rubbed small circles with the pads of his thumbs into the creases where your legs met your ass.

He never broke away from your face, watching everything unfold before him. Now that you were free from his solidifying grip, your hips were rolling. He watched your ribs expand and fall as you moaned unabashedly, rubbing your cunt into his mouth. Eren had never seen a more beautiful sight, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. His right hand itched closer to your opening, and you trembled at the prodding of his index fingers. His tongue flopped around sloppily, slurping your bud in between his lips as he entered you slowly, cock pulsing at the feeling of your slick velvety walls greeting his finger.

Here he was, on his knees before you, eyes heavy and swirling because of you. You arched your back as he pumped the single digit in you slowly at first. He felt the tight clench of your walls as his tongue flicked at a certain angle, pleased that he had discovered very quickly how he was going to get you to cum. Eren was impatient, and as much as he wanted to stay between the heat of your thighs for hours if you’d let him, he really needed that orgasm from you. The tip of his pointer finger left you briefly, and you whimpered at the sudden loss, quickly becoming breathless and he slammed it right back in alongside his middle finger. They curled inside of you, brushing right against the soft spongy wall that was your g-spot. You were gushing for him, the sloppy noises of his assaults resounding around the bedroom.

“Fuck, fuck,” you panted, feeling your breasts bounce as he fucked his fingers into you at an alarming pace, tongue following the pattern eagerly. “Oh my god, I’m so close, Eren, I’m gonna’ cum.”

He pulled his mouth back momentarily, voice husky and pleading as he told you, “Cum for me, baby.”

You slammed your hips down onto his knuckles, feeling the underside of his palm and your slick. He had been reduced to curling and angling his fingers inside of you, watching in adoration and awe as you bounced yourself on his fingers, rubbing your pretty pussy against his mouth. Eren had just become a bystander at this point, he was pretty much forced to be stilled as you used his mouth and hands so greedily, feeling an unfamiliar swell in your cunt.

And when your back arched, and your walls clenched so fiercely tight around his drenched fingers, Eren found his forever love. He’d do anything, be anyone, whatever the fuck that was asked of him, to see this sight for the rest of his life. You were vibrating, legs shaking so strongly, Eren had to mentally catch up when he felt a gush of hot liquid soak him. He shifted his gaze down in shock, and holy shit, you were squirting.

You swore you had never orgasmed like this before, it was more than stars you were seeing behind your closed eyelids. It was pure black, absolute nothingness as your brain short circuited. It was like your pussy was taking a deep breath, because when the onset of contractions hit you, you thought you were going to pass out. And poor Eren, who stared dumbly in front of him at how intense your muscles were flexing, was already so deeply in love with you and was confessing his eternal devotion to you in his mind.

When your cunt had settled down, and your hips relented in pushing yourself against Eren’s face and hands, you let out a low moan as he slid his drenched fingers out of you. He stared at his hand, shining with your cum, and flickered his gaze up to you.

“I’m going to fucking marry you,” he growled. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”

You let out an exhausted laugh, “Would you believe me if I told you that was the first time I’ve ever squirted?”

“I’m buying you a goddamn ring tomorrow,” he placed a kiss to your inner thigh, moving his body up to hover above you. Eren’s hands wrapped around your thighs once again, propping your knees to your chest. He saw the slight trace of fear in your eyes, and he paused, “You okay?”

“It’s just,” you gazed at the point between your bodies. “Are you gonna’ fit?”

Eren leaned forward, feeling slightly relieved, his face still dripping in your essence, and he placed a sweet, romantic kiss to your lips, pulling away to murmur, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

You nodded your head, letting the worry roll off your body as one of his hands caressed your cheek, never breaking eye contact with him. The other hand reached in between your centers, grabbing his throbbing cock and sliding himself along your pussy. He was soon coated in your juices, and both of you were letting out quiet moans. As he sunk his tip into your entrance though, you were gasping loudly.

Eren really had wanted to be gentle, he had no intentions whatsoever of hurting you, but he had realized very quickly that you were going to be the one to set the pace in the relationship. Because as soon as half of his shaft was anchored in your heat, your hips slammed upwards to engulf his entire length. He bit back a yelp at the suddenness, fisting the sheets by your waist in a tight grip. If Eren didn’t feel like a virgin before, he sure as fuck did now.

You didn’t realize just how prepped that orgasm had made you, or how sensitive. What you had believed would’ve been pain was insurmountable and mind blowing pleasure, and you smiled in pride as Eren’s jaw fell open. You felt his hands fall from the underside of your thighs, and you took the opportunity, leveraging your legs, and thrusted upwards. Eren bottomed out inside of you, and you winced slightly at the mild pain of his tip meeting the wall of your cervix, the stretch of your walls accommodating him as you fluttered around him.

“You’re so big, Eren,” you moaned out, moving your hands to grasp his flexing biceps. “‘Feels so good.”

Eren was fighting an internal war — go as slow as physically possible as to not bust in your heavenly pussy in three strokes, or give you the best two minutes of your fucking life. Because it was absolutely all way too much, your gorgeous face, your soaked core, the way you gripped his cock so tightly. You were a vixen, Eren’s personal vices wrapped up in one human body. He couldn’t help but take notice of how perfectly your bodies fit together, your pussy made for him.

“Eren, move, please,” you whined, attempting to squirm your hips. He shot a hand down to your hip, stilling you as he gave you a warning glare.

“I’m trying really hard not to cum inside of you right now,” Eren groaned, finally moving his hips. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Making it real hard for me right now.”

Little was Eren aware of your pussy still on edge from the mind blowing power of your first orgasm, and you mouth lolled open as he slowly fucked you. If you were to touch your clit, or have any type of pressure there right now, it would be over for you as well. You’d have all the time in the future to have long, drawn out sex with Eren, but the two of you were just way too turned on and aroused by each other to have anything but heavy and fast sex. With a slight hesitation on your end, also not wanting to cum so quickly around his length, you rocked your hips into his fastening pace.

Eren chose the latter of his two options then, feeling the ridges of your pussy pulse and flutter around his cock. He pulled all the way back, tip daring to fall out of your little hole, and he flung himself right back in to the hilt. He repeated this a few times, and you were trying your best to hold back screams. Eren was drooling at the sight of your pretty pink pussy taking him, sloppy and messy from his saliva and your cum. He brought his attention to your bouncing breasts, molding one into his palm, rolling the nipple in the center.

Eren’s thrusts quickened dramatically, and he knew that your warning from the previous night had been true. You were screaming, calling out his name and several swears and ‘oh my god’s. This only encouraged him more, ego pretty much stroking his own cock as he plunged into you at a dangerous pace. He knew he was going to fast approach his orgasm, but Eren wasn’t stupid either. He could feel the clench tightening around him as he fucked right into that pretty spot inside of you, the way your breathing changed after a few seconds of that. Eren would become your number one expert, knowing every tell tale sign of your body, and what you were feeling. From one orgasm, he knew how your breathing changed, and Eren was determined to take you to those heights again.

Keeping the flick of his hips at the slamming pace he was at, he brought his thumb to your swollen clit. At the impact, your eyes screwed closed over the overwhelming pleasure. You felt a twinge of pain, just so sensitive from how strong you came before, but didn’t stop Eren as he rolled your pearl in fast circles, putting delicate pressure on the very top. It took maybe three strokes of his cock and a slight unsteady irregularity in his pattern to get you right where he had wanted you — desperate to cum alongside him.

“I’m so close, Eren,” you moaned out, lower body buzzing in anticipation.

“I want you to cum on my cock,” he demanded, a shocked moan crawling out of his throat at the first clench. “Oh, fuck, good girl.”

You spasmed under him, eyebrows shooting up in a furrow as you arched your back uncontrollably, the wave of your second orgasm slamming into you like a train. You could hear the squelching of Eren fucking your pussy as you contracted around him, or as he tried to. It was pure ecstasy, a feeling of wholeness filling you entirely. Half way through your orgasm, he grabbed the base of his cock, sliding out of you as he pumped himself fast above you. You held your legs open, breathing heavily as Eren watched your muscles contract in astonishment. He had never made a girl cum like this before, so hard and so visually. Your beautiful face, eyes encouraging him to cum, was all he needed. His dick was covered in you, his fingers sticky and soaked. It was all so fucking sloppy, and the thought and sight of it all caught up to him.

You felt the hot ropes of cum hit your belly, moaning at the sight. Eren was fucking his fist, cock thrusting in his grip like he had been doing in your pussy. His head hung forward, eyes drinking in the entirety of you. He shot his load on your lower half, stroking himself down after a couple of minutes, breathing heavily.

He eyed the box of tissues on your nightstand, and grabbed a few, languidly wiping his cum off of your abdomen as the two of you tried to catch your breath, or bring a ration thought back into your minds.

“We just had porn star sex,” you giggled tiredly.

“Oh yes we fucking did,” Eren smirked. “Not to like hype you up or whatever, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Your pride and ego swelled as he finished wiping up his cum, discarding the tissues in the bin on the floor. He hadn’t given you much time to respond, asking where the bathroom was so he could grab a rag to clean you up. You were humbled, affection rising in your chest when he returned to take care of your exhausted body. No one had bothered with aftercare before, and right then and there, you knew Eren was a keeper.

“Thank you,” you yawned out, stretching your legs in front of you. Eren hung around a little awkwardly, not sure of what to do. “You can spend the night, if you want to.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smile crossing his face, “Do you want me to?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself back until your head met your pillows and lifted your comforter, gesturing for Eren to join you. And that he did, pouncing on the offer and sliding into bed with you, not hesitating for a second to wrap his muscular arms around your waist. He kissed you gently, pulling away to place his lips on your shoulder as you began to drift off.

You awoke alone in your bed, the bright rays of the sun hazy as you blinked the sleep away. You could smell and hear the sizzling of breakfast in your kitchen, your bedroom door swung wide open. You threw your legs over the mattress, stealing a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You cringed at the mascara stains under your eyes, taking a tissue and wiping underneath your lashes to look presentable enough for the man looming in your kitchen. You discarded the tissue, and slid on a pair of fresh panties and Eren’s enormous sweatshirt you had yet to return, and padded your bare feet across your floor to join him.

Eren’s back faced you, his form only clad in a pair of boxers as he focused his complete attention to the frying pans in front of him. You smirked, leaning against your counter, placing your chin in your open hands.

“Good morning, Chef Eren,” you teased, catching him off guard as he jumped a bit.

He turned to face you, hair a complete mess as a boyish smile graced his face, “Morning, princess. I hope you don’t mind my mess.”

“It smells amazing, so I guess I can figure out a way to forgive you,” you sighed dramatically. “Only if there’s coffee involved, though.”

“Way ahead of you,” he moved his legs over to your coffee machine, a pair of steaming muga awaiting his hand. He grabbed one, a plain white mug that matched the rest of your kitchen set, and set it on the counter in front of you.

“If you’re trying to earn extra credit, it’s working,” you said, dumbstriken.

“Gotta’ show you I’m boyfriend material,” he wagged his eyebrows, turning back to the frying pan before cutting the heat off. “I couldn’t find your plates, though.”

“Cabinet above the sink,” you directed, pulling out a stool from underneath your kitchen bar. “Forks and stuff are in the drawer by the refrigerator.”

Eren nodded, collecting two plates and the necessary utensils from their designated areas. The sight of eggs and bacon made your mouth water, and you were about to get a key made specifically for Eren to waltz in every morning to cook you this glorious meal every single day. You thanked him as he set your plate in front of you, and you dug in.

“Eren, it’s so good,” you complimented after chewing. “You really know how to treat a girl.”

He simply laughed, and the two of you fell into a pleasant conversation. And then by the time mid day rolled around, the two of you had talked all about where you’d be spending the evening. The night had ended just like the one before in mind blowing sex, the morning after repeating itself, and again, and again.

A month later, you had updated your Instagram bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas, rock and roll, and Eren Jaeger’. And when it had come time to update your OnlyFans content, you were more than happy to have your own personal photographer to use at your discretion. Just as long as you continued to wear his necklace, Eren would take as many pictures as you needed him to, knowing you’d end up in each other’s beds at the end of the session anyways. And he’d continue to follow you, this time though, you’d gladly send him his favorite pictures for free.

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.