#and I did make the book cost basically nothing lol

[mangledmouth]

SEVEN YEARS OF POETRY IN A BOOK

HELLO ALL! I've been working on this project for a while; copying a lot of poems from my blog that had broken formatting from the old days, collecting the ones that I was the proudest of, adding in a number of poems from the archives that never saw the light before; and the result is this, DETRANSFORMATION, an extremely transgender anthology of forty-nine poems, which is 7x7, which I literally only realized now. What can I say, I went for quality over quantity over the years.

Do you like horror movies? Fairy tales? Complicated feelings about Lovecraft? Do you have familial trauma? Depression? Long slow years of regaining life? Do you like it when poems are about a specific ass situation? Do I ever have the loosely grouped into five sections that create an arc that's about 7x as clear in real life poetry ebook for you!

Gumroad was the easiest platform to upload to, and set a 'pay what you want' price of $1 and up; I wanted to prioritize people being able to read it if they want, with room to be more generous if you feel like it and can afford it. If you don't/don't want to use Gumroad, or want me to get the money without Gumroad fees, I've done my best to make the thank-you email for my Ko-fi a link to download the epub; the base price of a 'coffee' is 1$, so you can set your own price from there on up. This is my first attempt at both making and distributing an epub, so if anything is broken or inaccessible you can get in touch with me on here. If all else fails I will literally email it to you. I will convert it as needed. We will make this work.

that's it! I wrote a lot of poems and put them together (and made the cover! look at it it turned out so good!) and I hope you check them out. 🪦💚

[drakaripykiros130ac]

“The Greens are political masterminds compared to the Blacks.”

How many times have you heard this bullshit?

Their political incompetence is exactly what cost the Greens their victory in this war, and what gained Otto Hightower the gold medal in the “worst Hand in the history of Westeros” Olympics. And if you ask me, Criston Cole should have the silver for that one.

So, we’re talking about a faction who has been plotting to usurp the rightful heir, Rhaenyra Targaryen, for many, many years. They had so much time to prepare, and so many advantages: Alicent being queen and Otto being Hand, not to mention Rhaenyra and Daemon were away on Dragonstone for many years.

The Hightowers could have swayed things in their favor before Viserys’ death, and failed. They had to shuffle about, beg the Tyrells, send Aemond to Storm’s End with marriage promises etc. all after Viserys died. Lol. What have they done during those 10 years Rhaenyra was away on Dragonstone? They sat on their asses and did nothing. Not even prepare their puppet, Aegon Hightower.

Now, let’s list the Greens’ many, many mistakes:

1. Usurping the throne, instead of minding their own business and returning to Oldtown. Alicent doomed her entire line (children and grandchildren) with her schemes and thirst for power.

2. Not having Aemond and Daeron married by the time of the Dance. Boy, they really blew it with this one. Aemond was 20 when the Dance started and Daeron was 16. They could have been well married by the time Viserys died, and the Hightowers could have secured great alliances in time.

Rhaenyra’s sons were much younger than Alicent’s, and yet years before the Dance, she had Jacaerys and Lucerys betrothed to Baela and Rhaena, securing the Velaryons (a great power House) on her side for good. And certain people still have the nerve to say she did nothing.

Not having Aemond and Daeron married by the time of Viserys’ death, was a missed opportunity, which proves Otto and Alicent’s stupidity. They had the power, and Viserys was easily swayed, and they still screwed up big time.

3. Failing to get the support of their own liege lords, the Tyrells.

4. Failing to get the support of the Red Kraken and by extension, the Iron Islands. I mean, so few people realize that Daemon was the politically savvy one, knowing how to turn the Red Kraken against the Greens by appealing to his thirst for bloodshed. The Greens offered him the position of Master of Ships and he refused them, in exchange for a chance to stick it to the Lannisters. So basically, Daemon offered the Red Kraken nothing, compared to the Greens, and still managed to sway him to his side. That must have been so embarrassing for the Greens 😂.

5. Killing Lucerys. *claps* Well, done, Aemond One-Eye idiot. Before this, Rhaenyra was still determined to make peace with her half-brothers and half-sister, despite the usurpation, but not after they shed first blood and murdered her son. Hell no. Even Alicent and Otto were angry with Aemond for this one, because they knew how badly they screwed up.

The problem is that both Otto and Alicent lacked the intelligence to keep a bloodthirsty, idiotic maniac like Aemond in line. Not to mention that the one on their team holding their only ace-card, Vhagar, was this bloodthirsty, idiotic maniac.

6. Aegon Hightower choosing Criston Cole as his Hand. 😶 When I first read this part in the book, I was shocked. Definitely did not see that coming. Dismissing Otto as Hand (for the second time), I understand, considering that he really exudes incompetence. But what exactly went through the usurper’s puny brain when naming Cole as his Hand is beyond me. He is a military man. He is no political mastermind. Far from it. He is dumb as wood. He spent his entire career life kissing Alicent’s behind and only rising in ranking because of his hatred for Rhaenyra (because a young girl of 14 refused his advances).

There is a reason why Rhaenyra chose Corlys as her Hand, and not Daemon (like everyone expected her to).

Criston Cole led his forces in the Riverlands and got himself killed when facing the Winter Wolves. He didn’t even use his position as Hand. He just wore the pin.

Seriously, this has to be one of their dumbest moves. If I were in this usurper’s position, I would have chosen Tyland Lannister as my Hand, certainly not the overly subjective and creepy Incel who kisses my mother’s behind for a job.

7. Burning the Riverlands…for no good reason. *claps* Once again, let’s applaud Aemond’s idiocy. Basically, he decided to burn the Riverlands because their lords sided with Rhaenyra. That’s it.

Because of his stupidity, he basically secured the entire Riverlands on the side of the Blacks even after Rhaenyra’s death. The Riverlords fought for Rhaenyra’s son instead of agreeing to make peace with the Greens.

8. Choosing the Triarchy as an ally. What exactly made them think that they would gain any points by allying themselves with a great enemy of the people of Westeros? These are foreign savages that Daemon and Corlys have been fighting for years, and the Greens got in bed with them. Bringing an army of dangerous foreigners in a civil war is high treason against the Realm.

9. Burning Bitterbridge. The Reach was the Hightowers’ home, and not only did they fail to gain the support of the Paramount House there, but they also turned many of their bannermen against them. Well done. *sarcasm*

10. This one is one of my favorites: trusting the Goldcloaks. Otto Hightower knew perfectly well that the Goldcloaks were Daemon’s men, and despite making some changes and putting his son, Gwayne, as second in command, Otto still managed to get played and the Goldcloaks turned on the Greens when Daemon arrived in the capital.

The smart thing to do would have been to disband the Goldcloaks when the usurpation happened. The decision to keep them lost the Greens the capital.

11. Proposing to call a Great Council only when realizing that they were losing. So, once Rhaenyra took the capital, only then, did Alicent propose to call a Great Council. Why couldn’t she suggest that before usurping the throne? Alicent’s stupidity got her the nickname “Queen of Chains”.

12. Trusting the Dragonseeds who betrayed Rhaenyra. Seriously…how stupid could they be? Don’t they know that people who betray once have a tendency to do it again??? The Two Betrayers wasted no time and turned on the Greens soon after because they wanted the throne for themselves.

13. Trusting Larys Strong. This creep got his own family killed for the sake of power. He has no morals and is just like Littlefinger. Once he realized that the Greens were losing, Larys turned on them and most likely participated in poisoning Aegon the Usurper.

14. Refusing to name Aegon the Younger heir and sue for peace with the Black armies after Rhaenyra’s death. This basically guaranteed the Greens’ permanent defeat.

15. Trying to convince her eight year old granddaughter to kill her husband lost Alicent any freedom rights after she lost the war, and she spent the rest of her life in isolation and madness.

So, seriously, people who say that Otto and Alicent are politically intelligent need to get a clue and read the book.

[petalkitshadow]

Talking About: Appledusk

So, Appledusk is a character who my interpretation of probably gets questioned the most by readers. Which is understandable! He's not really an antagonist in MV; or, at least, the reader is supposed to understand in MV that while Mapleshade views him antagonistically, the narration is biased into her favor due to the story being from her POV. But the role he takes on in PkS is quite actually antagonistic to Petalpaw and her struggles.... so I thought it would be interesting to dive into it and explain my thoughts behind why I wrote him the way I did!

So - I want to start out by saying that Appledusk is a fictional character. It doesn't bother me if you like Appledusk, or view him differently than I do. I just happen to dislike him, which I think is pretty clear from how he fits into Petalkit's Shadow, lol. But even if I dislike him, I still wanted him to play an interesting role and serve his purpose, which involves making him as frustrating as possible!

When coming up with ideas for how characters will be in PkS, I often don't have much to go on. Mapleshade is really the only character from the cast who has a ton of focus in the canon books. Appledusk is one of those characters who falls a bit in a middle ground. He has enough going for him in MV that you can get a basic idea for how he is, but you still gotta do a lot of legwork on figuring out deeper aspects of his character. for PkS, I look at the characters' actions and go, "what kind of person would do this?" and then write the kind of person who I think would do that, basically.

Appledusk, he struck me as being very focused on self preservation. When he's with Mapleshade in private, he has no problem being loving to her and the kits. But the moment he might face repercussions - repercussions Mapleshade is already facing, he becomes detached and cold. What stuck out to me is how Mapleshade kept thinking that Appledusk never asked the kits' names. Now, Mapleshade as a narrator is biased. But she's right - Appledusk never asks what the names of his children are. He gives no outward signs of grief when faced with their death, and he makes no attempt to speak privately with Mapleshade after the kits drown. Of course, anger is a very valid form of grief, as we all know from Petalpaw. but Appledusk then going on to throw Mapleshade under the bus, and not show her a shred of sympathy even though he is currently suffering from the exact same prejudice that cost Mapleshade everything, speaks to me a lot about his values. When faced with his supposed loved one at her lowest, with nothing left to lose, his reaction is to distance himself from her as much as possible in the hopes that he will be punished less. It's cowardly, it's infuriating, and makes him seem so, so cruel to me.

And then, there's Reedshine. Reedshine in canon irks me a lot, in a meta sense. She's been hurt in similar ways as Mapleshade. Appledusk cheated on her too! But she immediately forgives him, and shows no conflict about Appledusk's actions. She's given no room to grieve or to hurt, she has to immediately come to Appledusk's defense. Reedshine and Mapleshade were both made to bear pain that Appledusk had no interesting in helping them shoulder.

To me, it really felt like Appledusk took the women in his life for granted. Why else would he have an affair, and not confess to it until literal, physical, damning evidence was put on display for everyone to see? Did he consider his own feelings, his own wants and desires, to be more important than that of Mapleshade, or Reedshine's? Mapleshade, with her penchant for cold-blooded murder, is definitely a worse person than Appledusk. But Appledusk's cruelty, I think it gets more under my skin because it feels real. How many serial killers do you know? probably none. But how many indifferent men who think women are just too emotional do you know? how many half-rate, self-absorbed fathers do you know? probably a small selection, at least.

So, when coming up with the basics for PkS, I imagined in the wake of this fiasco, Appledusk would be most focused on his own image, like he seems to be in canon. He wants to go back to being an esteemed, respected warrior. What's the best way to do that? Is it to step up, and be there for his traumatized daughter, offer her guidance and try to to fill the void left by losing her other parent?

No, of course not. Because to Appledusk, his daughter is a constant reminder of the mistakes he's made. He doesn't want to reckon with those mistakes, and he doesn't want to consider that he did something wrong.

In a way... he is a lot like his daughter. (Petalpaw would kill me if she could read me typing this, lol). They both are set in their ways, and very, very stubborn.

So, tl;dr... Appledusk in PkS is an extrapolation based on what I interpret from his character. But he's a character with so little to go on I think there are many ways to interpret him. This is just my thought process about him!

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

What To Get A 19 Year Old Boy For His Birthday...

Pairing: Platonic! Peter Parker & Reader; Reader x Bucky (but that's not really plot relevant)

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none as usual, you yell at Strange lol

Genre: super fluff

Summary: You happen to be the only person who still remembers Peter Parker exists and you are not about to hang him out to dry. So what happens when you take Peter in and basically become his guardian? Well- nothing is simple where super-teens are involved, but you and Peter can certainly handle whatever comes your way. Right?

***

You from to yourself, feeling like you're forgetting something even though you're just watching TV with Bucky. There's nothing to forget that you can-

"Oh shit-" You gasp sitting up suddenly. Bucky grabs the remote and turns the volume down.

"What?" He frowns shifting to look at you.

"I just realized Peter's birthday's next week and I haven't even thought of what to get him or what to do or-"

"Take a breath y/n. You still have a week." Bucky reminds you with a hand on your shoulder.

"What do I get a nineteen year old boy for his birthday?" You turn to him.

"Why are you asking me?" He blinks.

"You're a guy!"

"I'm a hundred and seven?! I haven't been nineteen in like eighty years, do you really think I would have any idea what a modern teen would want? I can guarantee my interests at nineteen were far different." He scoffs.

"Well what did you want at nineteen?" You ask.

"To avoid another world war?" He shrugs and your mouth drops open.

"I can't fucking stand you." You laugh shoving him lightly.

"Oh come on, how could I resist?!"

"You're so irritating! Be serious." You say fighting giggles.

"Alright, alright, what's the kid interested in?"

"I dunno, comic books, video games, nerdy stuff?" You shrug.

"I've never seen him play video games before." Bucky frowns.

"He plays them on his computer."

"He doesn't have a gaming system of some sort?"

"No?"

"Do you own one?"

"No."

"So get him one of those and a couple of games." Bucky shrugs.

"That's a great idea! And you said you wouldn't know what to get him." You smile.

"I'm sure you could've figured that out."

"You'll come shopping with me won't you? I have no idea what games to get for him honestly."

"How about you take care of the system and I'll worry about the games. Split the cost of this birthday thing."

"What do you mean you're going to worry about the games?" You frown.

"Just trust me. How much is the system anyway?"

"Probably three, maybe four hundred dollars. Depends."

"Sheesh. That's- pricier than I expected honestly." He hums.

"Yeah they can get pretty up there." You shrug.

"Alright then if you buy the system I'll take the kid out and get him an equivalent in games."

"You really wanna spend $600 on his birthday?" You blink.

"I mean he's lost his entire family and he never goes anywhere or talks of friends, we're probably the only people he's going to get gifts from. We can take some of the money from the Stark account." Bucky says. When Tony died there were a couple of accounts set up in your name to take over Avengers related expenses. One to be used for the team's avenging related tasks and one to help the team with personal affects- mostly Thor since he'll likely never have a job here but he's not here that much these days anyway.

"I don't want to get into the habit of using that money, in case of an emergency." You say.

"Baby, you're a witch and I'm a super soldier I can't imagine there will be many emergencies where that money is our only solution. Stark died and we ended up with enough money to change our tax bracket. Six hundred dollars would hardly make a dent and if ever we're in a situation where we do have to use that money for an emergency and we find ourselves $600 short I'm sure neither of us will look back and say 'if only we hadn't given that kid we're responsible for a great birthday gift he loved'." Bucky says.

"Very well, we'll use the Stark account and do it big for him." You say.

"There- now you can stop panicking about his birthday." Bucky pulls you back into his side and turns the volume back up on the TV. You don't point out to Bucky how it seems he's bonded with Peter a bit. At least to some degree since he's suddenly advocating for a big birthday gift for him. You know he'll deny it if you bring it up so you simply smile to yourself at the thought and settle back into his chest. You'll head to the store tomorrow to pick up a console and some birthday supplies.

*~*~*

"Bucky can you grab the candles from the bedroom please baby? They should be in the bag on my desk." You shout while carefully removing the plastic covering from Peter's birthday cake.

"On it!" Bucky calls back from the living room. Moments later, he hands you the opened candles.

"Thank you for opening them." You kiss his cheek and carefully stick the 1 and 9 on the cake without disturbing the Happy Birthday Peter written in blue frosting.

"How long do you think it'll take him to come back?" Bucky asks.

"I only asked him to get some salt, he should be opening the door any minute now." You shrug. "Do you think he suspects anything?"

"Nah, I'll bet when you didn't wish him happy birthday this morning or make anything special for breakfast that he assumed we didn't know or weren't going to make a big deal about it."

"Oh- I hope he's not moping through the streets thinking we forgot." You frown.

"I mean I don't-" Bucky stops suddenly. "He's coming down the hall, light the candles." He tells you. You grab the lighter and quickly light the candles, lifting the cake just as the handle turns.

"Hey. Got the salt you asked for-"

"Happy Birthday Peter!!" You shout when he enters the kitchen.

"Happy birthday kid." Bucky nods.

"You remembered my birthday?"

"Of course I did sweetie! Make a wish." You walk the cake over to him and hold it out for him to blow out the candles. He looks between you and Bucky a couple of times before closing his eyes and blowing out the candles quickly.

"Yay!" You say setting the cake on the counter.

"Thanks guys- I- I kinda thought you'd miss it."

"Nonsense! How could I? Oh and before I forget, your gift." You float the prettily wrapped box from behind the island, into the Peter's hands.

"What is it?"

"You know the point of wrapping a gift is for you to unwrap it in order to find out what's in it." Bucky tells him.

"I know- but I thought maybe you'd tell me anyway." Peter shrugs.

"No way! That ruins the surprise! Open it." You clap excitedly.

"Alright alright." Peter says. He quickly tears off the wrapping paper and his mouth drops open when he fully reveals the box. "You got me an Xbox?" His voice is full of disbelief but you can't say for sure if that's good or not.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"A-are you kidding?! This is like the best gift I've ever gotten!" Peter says throwing his arms around you. You hug him back relieved that the gift was a success.

"I'm glad! Bucky and I had no idea what to get you." You chuckle.

"You did great." He says.

"This is only the first half of the gift technically. A console needs games, so I'm taking you out to buy some." Bucky adds.

"No way- you don't have to this is already plenty I-I mean these things aren't cheap I don't wanna take advantage of-"

"It's not a question kid, we're going. After lunch." Bucky cuts him off.

"Really? Today?" Peter blinks at him.

"You wanna be able to set that thing up or not?"

"We'll go after lunch." Peter nods. "Are you coming with us y/n?"

"I can't hon I've got some errands to run." You say.

"I hoped we'd all be together for my birthday."

"Don't worry, we'll all be back for dinner together."

"Oh, okay, that's fine then."

He's probably nervous about spending extended time alone with Bucky but you think it'll be good for them to find common ground that's not contingent on you. Obviously, they're capable of coordinating if your anniversary is any indicator. You want to give them the chance to build on that.

In the meanwhile, you have something of equal importance to take care of. You push open the heavy doors to Stephen Strange's lair. He doesn't call it that, and he rather hates it when you do, but that's basically what it is.

"Strange!" You shout.

"Y/n! Hello, to what do I owe this visit?" He asks floating down to meet you. You walk up to him and smack your palm against his forehead. "I guess this isn't a friendly visit then." He hisses rubbing his forehead.

"Not quite." You roll your eyes. A quick succession of hand gestures completes the spell that unlocks Stephen's memories of Peter. He takes a sharp breath as his memories return.

"You know- there are less painful ways do that spell." He says after a moment.

"There are also more painful ways to do that spell be glad I just tapped your forehead." You say.

"Tapped is a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"

"I wanted to beat your ass. Count your blessings I didn't come in here and do that."

"I assume this is about Peter, then?" Stephen sighs.

"Help me with the math here, a 17-year-old comes to you and says 'I want to alter reality' and you don't consider- not doing that?"

"Well hang on I definitely warned him it was a bad idea but he was insistent that it was ruining his life."

"Dude he was 17. A 17 year old will think the world is ending because his best friend moves away before senior year of high school. Granted he's dealt with some pretty intense adult troubles but he's still just a kid and you're like pushing 50 he isn't the responsible party in that situation." You say.

"Watch it, pushing 50 is an exaggeration." Stephen points.

"Not. The point. You altered the very fabric of time and space not once, but twice at the behest of a child."

"It wouldn't have been twice if he hadn't totally screwed up the first one."

"You're the sorcerer not him. It was your spell. Your responsibility." You say.

"Hey he kept adding caveats in the middle of my casting and magic is tricky enough as is without that."

"I know how tricky magic is, which is why I wouldn't have an untrained teenager be part of casting a spell of that magnitude in the first place! It was a bad decision on your part and in the end you got to walk away as if it never even happened. And that might be even more egregious, you completely abandoned the kid after all that chaos."

"Well not completely, I knew the probability of you being unaffected by the spell and thus stepping in was almost 100%."

"Almost 100 isn't 100 and that's still abandoning. The moment you decided to do that spell for him you took on a responsibility." You say.

"So what was I supposed to do? Simply take him in?" He scoffs.

"Well when you take away his entire support system with a spell that is the least you can do Strange."

"He knew the consequences, and it all worked out fine. He's got you now." He shrugs.

"I wonder if you just don't hear yourself speak or if you truly struggle with emotional intelligence so severely." You take a moment to really look at him as if the answer will come to you if you stare at him for long enough. "Whatever, I didn't come here just to yell at you."

"Really? I couldn't have guessed that."

"Today is Peter's birthday. I came to fix your memories so you could send him a birthday card." You say.

"Why would I do that?" He frowns.

"Because your botched spell resulted in the death of his only remaining living relative? We're all he's got."

"Hey I fixed that situation to the best of my ability."

"And it didn't bring his aunt back. It also cost him every relationship he's ever developed. Send him a damn card. Today." You spin around and walk back towards the door. "Be glad I won't drop him on your doorstep. He doesn't deserve that punishment." You scoff, waving the doors open and heading back towards your own apartment to get started on dinner. 

"So how did game shopping go?" You ask Bucky and Peter once you're all sat eating dinner.

"Oh we got way more than I would've expected. Mr. Bucky was overly generous I just hope it's clear how greatful I am."

"You've thanked me at least 10 times in the last hour. You've been more than clear kid. It's your birthday so you can stop now."

"I'm glad you had a nice time." You chuckle.

"What did you get up to while we were out baby?" Bucky asks.

"Just some errands nothing interesting." You shrug.

"Nothing interesting?" He raises an eyebrow.

"A little of this a little of that. My to-do list never ends really. Some shopping, I hit the bank, made some visits. You know how it goes."

"I dunno about you but that sounds rather suspicious to me Peter." Bucky turns to him.

"Definitely." Peter nods.

"I clearly made a mistake letting you two spend the afternoon together." You roll your eyes grabbing yours and Peter's now empty plates.

"We will discover your secrets y/n." Bucky warns.

"Good luck with that." You chuckle kissing Bucky's temple before walking the dishes over to the sink.

"Oh no you don't, you cooked, I'll do the dishes." Bucky wraps his hands around your waist and moves you from in front of the sink.

"Fine fine, Petey you want help setting up your Xbox then?" You ask.

"Sure! Is it okay to set it up in my room?"

"Of course it is. It's your thing. Plus if you end up playing all day long I don't want you taking over my living room." You tap his shoulder.

"Cool." He chuckles.

It doesn't take you long to set up the system in his room, it's just a matter of plugging in it and then the rest is for him to do on his own, make an account and such. You're just about to leave his room when a small portal appears in front of him.

"Peter. Happy birthday." Strange says reaching through with a card. You hold back a smile as Peter takes the card with obvious shock on his face.

"T-thanks Mr. Strange." Peter says. Stephen nods and closes the portal without another word.

"I didn't think he remembered me." Peter blinks at you.

"The world works in mysterious was huh." You ruffle Peter's hair. "I'll leave you to get used to your new toy." You add before exiting his room and joining Buckyin the living room.

"Okay, so where did you go today? Really?"

"Honestly I had to go yell at Strange for some magic related things." You say.

"What did he do?"

"It's complicated. Let's just say it'll be a while before I leave our timeline in his hands if ever again." You muse.

"Ah is that why you didn't bring it up at dinner? So the kid doesn't ask about Strange?"

"Yeah basically." You shrug. You're sure Bucky means in terms of Peter not knowing that you're an Avenger or whatever but seeing as you can't explain the real reason you didn't want to talk about it at dinner you see no reason to correct him at the moment. Eventually you'll give him all the details, but today has been good for all of you, you'd like to end on a high.

***

Tagged Users: @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @buchi91

[elliepassmore]

His Majesty's Dragon review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: historical fiction, dragons, historical fantasy, alt history

I actually got two copies of this at a book event nearly 10 years ago, never read it, then gave both of them away in 2020, only to come back and read it and love it, lol. Admittedly I like this cover a lot better than the one I had, so it's probably a good thing.

This book is set during the Napoleonic Wars, and everything is roughly as it was in actual history, except there are and have been dragons, which obviously changes some things. I'm not an expert on the Napoleonic Wars, but the broad strokes of it seem to be the same, with Napoleon facing down Britain's navy on one side and a flagging Austria on the other. Tensions are high and everyone is worried about an invasion. The battle of Trafalgar happens with, I think, only a couple notable differences (spoilery, so I won't say).

I haven't read a ton of alt history books (I think the Lady Trent memoirs might be the only other?), so I really enjoyed seeing the differences between what I know of history and what played out here. It's also interesting because it's less of a "what if X won Y war instead" alternate history, and more of a "what if we've always had dragons" kind of alt history. There are a lot of changes to the basic setup of things because dragons are a known thing and have been for a while, so obviously certain accommodations have to be made and some things play out differently because how could they not?

Will Laurence is an upright navy man faced with the end of his Navy career and the beginning of his Aerial Corps one. I did feel bad for him in the beginning since he seems to really like his life and he has a nice setup for getting married soon, but over time as he and Temeraire bond more, I feel less bad since he also feels less bad. Laurence is one of those people who believes in Duty, Honor, Country, and generally thinks they're the same thing. It can be annoying, though it isn't here yet, so I'm interested to see in how things play out in later books. I liked seeing how Laurence bonded with Temeraire and I'm glad that the two of them not only get along but seem to genuinely love each other. He does things a little differently than most riders, but it's to the benefit of his dragon. I also liked that Laurence was open to the little ones and willing to help them learn.

Temeraire is a rare breed of dragon who ends up partnered with Laurence. He's exceptionally smart and is quick to learn new things. I enjoyed his thirst for knowledge and love of reading and having intellectual conversations/debates. He's got a lot of natural curiosity that I enjoyed. At the same time, Temeraire is also compassionate and extremely loyal. He feels for other dragons and riders when something goes wrong, and at times bad things happening to others puts him in somewhat of a depression. His loyalty is to Laurence, which causes some friction when he wants to protect Laurence potentially at the cost of others/England's defense, which I feel like makes sense considering what Temeraire knows at this point in his life. I do think he gets 'duty' a little more at the end of the book, when they're faced with a big battle.

Considering this is the intro to the world and to the Aerial Corps, I feel like we don't totally get to know the other characters all that well yet. There's Catherine Harcourt and Lily, the leaders of the formation Laurence and Temeraire are in. Lily is also a young dragon, but doesn't have too much page time, and Catherine is much younger than a lot of the other characters. She clearly loves Lily, but we don't get a great feel on her yet. Same with Matthew Berkley and Maximus, but they do get a little more page time. Berkley and Laurence hit it off right away, despite things seeming rocky at first.

We get a little bit more page time with Rankin, which ends up being interesting. I'll be honest, and this has nothing to do with the series or the author, but the author of the main source for the research project I'm working has a last name of Rankin and it did bring me out of the story a little every time I read his name. Besides that, Rankin and Laurence hit it off quickly, albeit not for long, due to their similar interests and the fact that he's one of the few Aerial Corps people who isn't annoyed Laurence got the fancy dragon instead of one of their own.

Granby also gets a decent amount of page time, surprisingly. He appears friendly at first, but becomes more antagonistic when he learns what dragon Laurence has. Most of his other appearances for a while are him being petty/antagonistic toward Laurance. However, after spending time on Laurence and Temeraire's crew, Granby softens up and seems to recognize that Laurence not only takes good care of his dragon but also that he's a good leader. I ended up liking Granby and Laurence's relationship and how they came to rely on one another.

Overall I enjoyed this book and liked seeing an alternate history of the Napoleonic Wars if there were dragons. It's a somewhat slow book, but I enjoyed getting to know the characters and learning about the world and dragons.

[mcalhenwrites]

I am still alive but have no spoons to directly reply to anyone right now. I'm working on stuff with roommate and therapy, but... unless the money situation improves, my life won't. There are no good days to return to. The problem is, I have a collective 39 years that have added to nothing. And I have still tried to be optimistic. To work through the chronic pain to write, work, and be there for my friends when they need me. (But it all gets harder the more time that passes.) When people still say I'm a good friend, I'm baffled. I don't see it. My writing isn't working out. I need it to, or I will not survive financially, and it just seems a little cruel to ask me to hold out and hold out for something that's never going to happen - all so I can die the hardest possible way in the end, bc I fought like hell to still be at the bottom. I'm not currently suicidal, but I'm pretty much just going day-by-day, trying to find improvements and realizing it all comes down to the same issue: I have no money. And the issue isn't "fix health to work more at a job that isn't writing" - I can manage fibromyalgia and IBS, and the latter costs money to obtain the correct food to do so. I qualify for medicaid; I don't qualify for food assistance now that I work a job! I quit crochet and people threw a tantrum, and if you want to see my self-defensive "I CANNOT DO THIS AND WILL NOT AND FUCK OFF" as a tantrum... go ahead. I do not give a fuck. I love writing. I did it even when I knew it was awful, bc I figured the more I did it, the more I would improve. I worked hard. It just isn't good enough for the world. That's okay. I have always been a loser at everything. Everything ties back to writing: I need to do it for my comfort and therapy. I want my stories out there bc I want to be able to offer other people that comfort. Too many of us come from abusive households, and some of us had it shape our mental health and our sexualities. I need to publish to make money to survive, bc I can write while bedridden. I can write while most of my body is sore and my eyes are half-closed and I'm bored but unable to play games or read or clean or anything else due to physical pain/exhaustion. (And yes, there are times writing is also impossible, and I'm crying in bed bc of the pain intensity levels.) Unless you have a chronic pain issue coupled with comorbidities, I don't want your lectures or assumptions. I don't want to hear that there is "help" while I watched the system try to push my autistic brother into a goodwill job that falls below min wage, and when he wasn't able to handle the responsibilities, they've basically refused to help him otherwise. Even though my brother is capable of many things, he is "disabled" in the system, and they want to insert him into a fixed situation they put all disabled people. I'm doing better than him financially, but when my parents go, he has no one. And I can't be that person, ever. I can't even get my dog back right now. I can barely afford to visit him, but I'm going to anyway soon bc I need to hug him or I really will fucking off myself. I need a lot of support to get my writing off the ground, and I'm never going to deserve it. If I did, it would have happened by now. My roommate wants me to keep trying, but... I don't have hope it'll work out. Right now, I'm so overworked I can barely get any writing done. And I'm working about 15 hours a week. At a low-demand job where I sit most of the time, and cleaning maybe takes 40 minutes at its WORST. Yeah. I'm pathetic indeed. I can't help but feel that way. And when I give myself a little treat to survive the next day, it's at a steep cost to my future. I can buy a book and go to the library, but at the end of the day, that's all time and money that should have been spent on work and saving. Life is punishing, and I just don't know if I can keep being punished. I'm not even this kind of masochist lol

[scarafrisbee]

–and they ask, is he your boyfriend? -> thoma x gn!celeb!reader

syn: you're a famous celebrity on the red carpet, signing for fans until you encounter a certain someone...

/ cute stuff, fluff???, kisses (ish), modern au, lower case intended, not proof read, pet names? (angel, love)

/ i'm back (like anybody cares) (the last time i posted a fic was almost a year ago) (idek what happened to me nd my crush) (lol not rlly they gave me a love letter earlier today) (valentines special??? lol)

the lights are bright enough to blur your vision; if you were new to this industry that is. walking on the red carpet, the fans scream your name and all eyes are on you. you're all too familiar, really. and of course, with fame comes with its own hurdles— like people prying into your personal life, invading general privacy or trying to figure out who the hell you may or may not be dating.

of no surprises, there's fans and other people on the barricades sticking out arms with items for you to sign. plenty of people screaming you, your name and whatever they can to catch your attention. nobody in particular catches your eye as you approached and signed their items with a smile, until you see him.

his endearing green eyes, charming smile— and who else would it be, none other than thoma? you adore him like nothing and nobody more. he's like the honey to your bitter tea, making everything better.

at this point, you've signed plenty of things. books, posters, even some people's phone cases or something. fans will always find a way to make your brain spin, don't they?

thoma smiles right at you, his hand out with a simple novel. "angel!" he blurts out with a silly lovestruck grin, "how have you been?" thoma asks, succeeding at painting a silly grin on your lips.

— he's your rock, staying with you all times. through now, then and every second he can in the counting future.

thoma looks at you with equal adoration, his eyes crinkling into a smile. "better," you responded with a quiet chuckle.

with the marker you held and signed a plenty of items with, you took the novel and signed it. thoma acts as though he was a regular fan, and not like your boyfriend.

looking upon the book before giving it back, it was one of those silly romance-centric works. cute little rom-com with no hopes and dreams crushed! wow. you could describe your dearest thoma that way, no? unapologetically loving, and all too generous.

very generous. and very sappy.

much so as he pulls you in with a smile, your heart fluttering upon a simple kiss on the amidst the flashing lights. cameras everywhere catch the moment as you shimmy off thoma with a laugh— "hey love, hey- not here!" you said in a whispery tone, gently rubbing your cheek.

your attention goes on elsewhere; you continue down the scarlet path, and like all events, reach the entrance to disappear into the depths of these rich companies and their events. you bid goodbye to those who border the barricades, walking in within the walls of many could only dream of coming inside.

all the while you enjoy your party and wine that would cost the regular person a lung, you encounter more people. interviewers, people with practically hearts in their eyes and the soft chatter of other around you.

the night is relatively peaceful after that, thankfully. nothing irregular could happen after, surely.

— what a ruckus you have made.

peace or chaos, whatever it is, it's basically a whole phenomena the day tomorrow. you wake up to posts about you and thoma, and that little cheek kiss he gave you the previous few hours before.

no wonder your phone's been blowing up all night and day. what is happening to the world?

"love? did you check twitter?" you asked thoma later that day, tilting your head in slight confusion. you're not exactly sure what's going on in the internet as of current...

"yeah, i said i was your boyfriend." thoma continued as he chuckled, "your fans just need you to confirm it."

note;; wowowow after a decade (10 months) and a difficult period in my life (i was just too busy) i finally post smth !!! wow. aaaaaa this was js to my get writing going again, i hope to post moree

[spicybees]

congrats on getting top surgery soon! May I ask how the process went for getting the consultation and all that? And what sort of options you had going into it if it’s not too much to ask… I’m hoping to get top surgery myself in a couple years and I don’t know where to start. Thank you so much!

THANK YOU SO MUCH I still can’t believe it’s happening I keep having to pinch myself. I’ll explain below the read more because it gets quite long but I’m more than happy to answer!

Okay so first of all I live in Australia so the process is drastically different than other countries like the US (sorry if you don’t live there either lol) but I can share my experience of the Australian process!

I could have just called up a surgeon without a referral if I chose to but if I did that I wouldn’t receive a Medicare rebate (which takes about 1k off the surgeons final price) so I went to see my GP first and asked for top surgery lol. Keep in mind I had not brought up my chest dysphoria at all to my GP in the 18 years she has been my doctor so it was quite a shock to her. And idk about other states but in Queensland they do require a year of supporting documentation to be considered for top surgery. But I got my way around that with sharing photos of me wearing a binder from when I was 14 LOL. That and my psychologist knowing a tiny bit but really nothing more that I was unhappy so mostly the photos.

I don't have private health so this was done uninsured which means I pay out of pocket for everything but honestly it wasn't too bad all things considered (private health wouldn't cover this anyway so I wasn't losing much) it totaled to about 9.3k for the surgeon, 2.6k for the anaesthetist and 2.8k for the day hospital. That with my rent and bills and food on top totalled to about 17k overall, but it would be much cheaper if you don't need to take as much time off as I do. I get a rebate from Medicare of about 1k (maybe more for the anaesthetist I don't know yet) so when I get that back in my account I would have only spent 16k.

I got asked some basic questions such as if I had any other parts of my body I was unhappy with in a similar way but it really wasn’t that invasive or much. I got my referral and received a call from the surgeons office the next day booking in my consult for the following month! I got asked if I had anyone specific in mind at my gp appointment and before I even replied she suggested the person I was about to say lol, turns out they were in the same year at medical school!

At my consult I explained what I was there for (she was unsure if she had it right bc I do identify as a woman socially and that’s not going to change) but she was amazing and understood exactly what I was looking for! She let me know I needed a psychiatrists letter of approval within 3 months of my surgery date just saying I’m like.. mentally stable and making an informed decision but I knew that already so I had my psychiatrist booked in the following day! I also had my surgery date booked the day of the consult (consult was 29th of August and surgery date is 25th of October) which was tentatively locked in until I got my psychiatrist letter. I also received my estimated cost for everything on consult day.

When I saw her the next day it was my last sorta time I had to explain like yes I’m a girl yes I know what I’m doing which had at this point become kinda annoying but luckily she was cool with it and wrote me the letter. I emailed that to my surgeon and then I got sent my admission paperwork and a bunch of forms I needed to return lol. I also got my pre op appointment booked and got told when I needed to pay by.

At my pre op appointment (earlier this week) I got measurements taken for my compression binder I have to wear 6 weeks post op and I also got pictures taken (awkward), and I was able to ask as many questions as I needed about the process. I suggest writing down a little list because you will forget in the excitement of it all (I had my best friend Shannon come with me for my pre op appointment to ask questions as well because they are going to be my caretaker post op).

Since that’s done and I’ve paid my surgeon I just need to pay my anaesthetist and hospital but that’s done closer to the surgery date. All future costs related to my surgeon such as post op appointments are all covered by the initial cost I paid, but if I need revision surgery that is an additional cost later down the line.

Now for procedure specific things..

Because of my breast size I was able to get keyhole and periareolar as well as double incision as options. I did end up going with double incision purely because I do not want to keep my nipples lol and the scars are meaningful to me. I was happy to know I had the options though! Felt really nice. She explained the options for scar placement and shape and asked whether I wanted to achieve a flat look or more a pec like look too. It was nice to work with someone who understood exactly what I am going for in this and it was really euphoric.

My surgeon does do drains BUT they do not need to be emptied or ‘milked’ as some people say online. She laughed and said that was an American thing and that I just need to monitor the output once a day. She also said I’ll be pretty tender but honestly won’t feel too shitty after and that I don’t need to worry about doing T rex arms lol, and to just work within my bodies limits. If my body hurts I don’t do it essentially.

As for time off from work I do work a physically demanding job that requires me to do heavy lifting, so I needed at least 6 weeks off. I ended up taking 9 off because it was leading up to Christmas and I don’t want to risk stretching my scars. I am going to be very short on money because of this but my health comes first. My boss was super chill about it and I have already sorted out a replacement for my hours since I am a manager and do need to be covered consistently lol.

Outside of that it’s really just waiting now! Shannon is taking 3 weeks of work themself to care for me but I really don’t think I’ll need their help physically for longer than a week, but the moral support is everything. My friends are also helping me out food wise the first week or so :3

I’m happy to answer any other questions people may have but do keep in mind I haven’t actually had my surgery yet so.. I only know so much right now.

[katies-anonymous-post-box]

its my sisters birthday in two days, and i was thinking about what to get her. but the thing is i think im the only one, and i've been kinda in charge of gifts for a while now. my parents kinda have stopped.. thinking hard about presents...? i dunno. for the past year or so from my sisters reactions the gifts i get and pick out for her are her favorites. its not that my parents are bad gift givers; they got my sister a cute notebook from her last birthday and she's been using it all year for her drawings. and they just booked a hotel water park thingy for her birthday which cost a lot, so they do care!! and there's a school camp trip thats in two weeks that she's going too (and im going to help out thanks to a program at our school) but so far all the gifts that i had to argue with my mom to buy were all from me. yesterday i had a small argument with her about gifts. she told me that she had an ideas, and that was to get her a bracelet. i asked her what else. she was quiet for a good 10 seconds and then i asked again, and she got all kinda mad and said 'i dont have to tell you everything' and i think i speak for all kids is that thats the reaction of a parent who doesnt know. its the same as because i said so. i've found two other gifts for her that are on sale and i hope that my mom will get them for her. she told me that 'i cant do everything for her' and yeah well i wouldnt be if i knew that you were already doing so.

i remember when i was in fifth grade, me and my friend were talking about our birthdays since they were on the same day, and after she told me about what she did she asked me what i did. i told her i went to a trampoline park. she asked what i got. i said i didnt get anything. she was shocked. my teacher asked us what we did too, and when i was answering she asked what else we did. i was quiet for a few seconds, and she asked if we went out to a restaurant. i lied and said that we did, that we went to a fancy one. she asked for the name and i said i didnt remember. we were actually supposed to go to one of my favorite places. it was simple and nothing fancy but i really liked their burritos lol. we didnt go tho, my mom (kindly may i add; i feel like i've portraying her as bad but i swear she's good) asked if she could just make salmon at home instead because it was easier. i said okay, because yeah i would have prefered to go out but i liked the fish she made. to my memory though she didnt end up making it. my mom actually got mad at us that year, so none of my siblings or i got any gifts. it was okay though. we still had fun though.

two years ago, a week ago my mom had to fly back to her old home because my grandpa (her dad) died. i cried in the front of the whole class for a bit when i was called to leave early. but basically my mom was leaving and was going to be back on my birthday. when she came back, we welcomed her and all. i was waiting for her to say happy birthday to me. i tried to tell her and get her to say happy birthday excitedly, but i dont think she did. she gave me a smile and nod and turned back to my dad. tbh it was valid. her dad died a week ago and she hadnt seen her family back at her home in a year and us in a week. i think i still cried a bit in the car ride form the airport though. we waited until saturday to do something for my birthday. but like, it wasnt all that bad though. she brought back gifts, and i got two, maybe three extras vs my siblings as a birthday gift. they were really nice. we celebrated my birthday two days after on a saturday, with cake and happy birthday.

but yeah. this al got really off topic. hopefully my mom listen to me about my sister or gets her some stuff on her own.

dunno if this counts as one of your weird anons, but yeah. praying i dont come off as selfish im just getting my thoughts out. your my new therapy inbox if thats okay. thanks.

-bad at feelings anon (help im writing this and listening to gracie adams and some ttpd there were some tears at some point)

It’s ok I can be your therapy inbox if you’d like

[pallases]

hi leigh!! i hope you're well :) saw your post with asks and decided i would combine lots of them lol so first thing is tell me abt whatever's bothering you!! i hope nothing's bothering you obv but still.

also i am asking you for book recs. i haven't been reading a lot of proper books lately so any recs are welcome but i kind of feel like some fantasy would do me good. but like good ones? The last couple of years i've been picking up some popular fantasy standalones hoping they feel like a fantasy book you read when you're twelve and they end up being the most mid thing i've ever read. like help. i'm planning to read some robin hobb books so hopefully they're good.

also i've started listening to mitski (talk about being late lol) and i'm really liking her songs i was wondering if you have any particular recs? Or any music recs? what've you been listening to?

sorry this ask is all over the place lol i guess i'm chatty today. i hope you're having an amazing day!! <3<333

ORLA!!!! i hope you are doing well too <3 one thing that is bothering me is school is starting again bc i have gotten virtually no break </3 also that apparently the english class i’m taking doesn’t have any required books i was looking forward to reading actual books not whatever mini readings ig they’re going to be giving us instead ☹️ also also that i did Not in fact get my license like planned this summer bc during the singular week i was home a bunch of stuff suddenly came up and it became no longer my priority and now i will need to renew my permit Again bc it expires in early september and im not going to be able to make it home before that so. <3

as for book recs!! i have tragically had the same problem lately re fantasy books and honestly mostly just books in general BUT i don’t know if you’ve read any ve schwab ive really loved what books of hers ive read. vicious was my favorite, but the monsters of verity duology better fits the “feels like a fantasy book you read when you’re twelve” vibe!

for non-fantasy recs if youre feeling poetry i reallyy liked margaret atwood’s morning in the burned house. also just finished hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy which was v fun! got many laughs out of me, i did not however know before starting it that it’s a series so now idk how to proceed bc i only have the first book agdjfk

OH ALSO fantasy shoutout to strange the dreamer duology 🫶🏻🫶🏻 lovely writing style and world, fascinating antagonist, i was not a big fan of the romance but otherwise big rec on that. definitely not for everyone tho some ppl find the pacing too slow, i remember when i first read it i mentioned that in my review too that it took a bit for me to really get into although i personally wasn’t bored in the meantime like others, i was just chilling enjoying what it had to tell me abt everything

MITSKI RECS!! i love strawberry blond sorry for being basic. square too but specifically square solo piano version which they took off of spotify (idk what you’re listening to her on). because dreaming costs money my dear is also a veryyy hard-hitting one. fond of circle, a burning hill, goodbye my danish sweetheart, nobody, washing machine heart, and class of 2013 as well. that was a lot i will stop now 🫡 also must admit i am quite behind on mitski’s recent releases so i can’t speak for any of her newer albums/songs. except for working for the knife musically it doesn’t hit as much as other songs of hers for me but lyrically it makes me go crazy

as for random music recs my most recently liked songs are unsweetened lemonade by amélie farren, army dreamers by kate bush, numb little bug by em beihold, would that i by hozier, the milk carton by madilyn mei, and comme des enfants by cœur de pirate. i have not really been “listening” listening to anything lately! though that will change in a few days with wisdom saga >:)

— sleepover saturday sunday!

[thedawningofthehour]

I remember a Chinese youtuber who was a history buff described the art of war as something that was given to nobleman officials who knew nothing about war just so they would at least know the basics, it was their equivalent of 'war for dummies.'

They also recommended the romance of the three kingdoms, mentioning how one general sent a dress to another on the enemy's side as part of psychological warfare.

Oh yeah, a lot of it was super basic common sense shit like not marching when the sun's in your eye and feeding your goddamn soldiers, but you have to factor in the time and culture that produced it. Ancient China was better educated than most of Europe at the time, but the majority of people were still illiterate. These soldiers were mostly peasant farmers and the like who were given spears and very little training before they were marched off to die. The generals were mostly highborn sons of politicians or other generals, and while did have some amount of education they had very, very little real-world experience and were severely lacking in common sense. Sun Tzu's book was meant to teach them the basics so they didn't get peasants killed by being a moron or forget to feed them. Because that shit did happen.

But there's still some thought-provoking shit in there. It's really interesting reading up on old history lately, we tend to think of the people of the past as being super brutal and heartless, full Game of Thrones burning and pillaging with their countless wars and nobody gave a damn-but people have been weighing the cost of war and warning against it for thousands of years. The Mahabarata talks about the fallacy of a just war and sets rules on what can be done in war and what circumstances justify war at all-and stress that a war is only just if all means of settling the conflict peacefully have been exhausted. Even back then, they had rules about treating the wounded and prisoners of war, against targeting civilians or using disproportionate means. I think some of that stuff is worth a reminder, in this day and age where a lot of people view war as an inevitable act of justice, or means to an end.

I did a lot of reading on Chinese history and philosophy a little while ago, mostly to cement Tigerclaw's backstory but also because it was really, really interesting. There's just so much of it. Part of the thing is, China is just freaking enormous, and it really only began to take on its modern size a few centuries ago, for most of history what we think of 'China' was mostly eastern China. (which makes sense, that's where the river deltas and plains and the Sichuan basin is, that's where people could get fresh water and grow food most easily) The rest of China was very mountainous and more sparsely populated-but that also means their culture and way of life was quite different. China is very old, very huge, extremely varied and they kept great records. It's just so easy to go down rabbit holes that have no bottom to them. It's a lot and I kind of had to stop for my own sanity lol.

You guys see why I decided to make the Hidden City the last city of its kind, right? Inventing more of these would have literally killed me.

[moveslikeanape]

hey! i'm sorry you've been so busy lately, i hope things calm down for you soon. though i know the holiday season can be a busy time for a lot of people. also, i agree that it's really surprising to me that there's no little mermaid art book. several other films have gotten either brand new books or rereleases of their existing ones to coincide with live action remakes or anniversaries, for example i was finally able to buy the mulan book when they rereleased it because of the remake in 2020, and i have the snow white one that was released in 2012 for that film's 75th anniversary! but there's nothing for the movie that started the disney renaissance and basically saved the company back then.

i actually did recently buy the book "the little mermaid: the full film script", and it has some interesting production notes and concept art... however it's only 150 pages or so, and they're small pages. the actual dimensions of the book are much smaller than any other disney/pixar art book i own, so it's not as easy to see the details in the art and its 150 pages contain nowhere near the same level of information and artwork as the art of frozen's 160 pages do, if that makes sense. not to mention that the reason it's called "the full film script" is, of course, that the script of the movie is also printed throughout the book, taking up space on the pages. it only cost me $15, so i ended up considering it worth it for the price, but i really wish there was a full art of book for the little mermaid in the same vein as the others!!

do you own the tarzan chronicles book? and if so, i'd be curious to know what you think of it! i saw a review of it that made it sound fascinating to read, and mentioned that it had a section detailing the research trip the creators took to africa while working on the film. the art of mulan also had a section about that that i loved reading.

-🌟

Thank you so much! It's mostly just work being crazy and way to many projects at home on the go, lol.

You're lucky with the Mulan one! I bought the first edition maybe 6 or 7 months before they rereleased it. Oh well, it's so worth it!

I have the TLM Full Film Script too. What's in there is nice, but I completely agree with you it's no match for a proper art book. Hopefully someday Disney will give that movie the art book it deserves…

I do own it! I bought it back in 1999 (was actually bought with my first paycheck from my first job!) Haven't read through it in ages though, but there's so much brilliant stuff in there. The section on the research trip is wonderful, lots of great photos and sketches too. I've been hoping to find a cheap copy of the book that I can take apart and scan. It's such a big book, and too heavy and awkward to scan… plus I'm worried about damaging my current book. (Also, someday I need to get my hands on the LE signed version, but it's always way too expensive!)

Will definitely give you a heads up if I ever find a decently priced copy!

[lonelywhalien22]

I love our long messages! Don't stop LOL :')

Yoongi is also my favorite rapper in BTS!!! AGHAKDFJDKF 🤣😂 I definitely feel you with Hobi - he carved out his own little niche in the rap world! My mom actually really likes him because of this!

I'm the same way when it comes to theories and stuff LOL - when I was deep into the fandom in 2018 and everyone was trying to piece together HYYH + LYS storyline, I was so lost - I just enjoyed the cinematic MV's 🤣😂

Omg yay!!! 'Trigger the Fever' is one my favorite songs ever from them! It just makes me really happy 🤗 You're correct! It was one of the songs on the latter part of the setlist before the (multiple?) encore!

Omg omg 'Golden Hour' LOL - I have so many thoughts 🤣 Given the teasers with the bigheaded characters and Mark's furry mask, I literally went in thinking this would be awkward and quirky as hell LOL. When the song started, I was genuinely impressed and I was like "Mark getting out of his loser era . . .???" UNTIL THE DAMN "I CAN'T MAKE EGGS" line LMAO - I had to pause for a minute because I was laughing so hard. My friend thought it was corny, but I actually liked the talking interlude part - Man's had a point :3

I feel you about the extra umph with Kpop! My parents keep wondering when I'm going to phase out of it, but I don't think I ever will frankly. So much effort is put into this beyond music. No judgement - you jam out to 'Sticker' if you like it 😂 We need fans like you too <3 How was The Link tour? Ten is my NCT ult too (as much as I simp about Renjun 💀😂). I also have a soft spot for Yangyang and like . . . lol a 'thing' for Xiaojun 😅

Bestie! You're booked and busy this year, huh?! Tbh, I don't know a lot about ATEEZ 😅 I tried to get into them a while ago, but idk, nothing was really clicking. They have a few songs that I do like though! If you have more suggestions, I'd be open to them :) I'm so so happy you got to see them twice!!! Crossing my fingers for the best that you get to see them again 💙

MOTS was supposed to be my first ever concert too 😭💔 My mom got tickets for us LMAO and she actually managed to snatch AMAZING seats too (it was like level 100, second row or something really close). Honestly, I don't think I will see them in this lifetime - I have bad luck with BTS concerts even before they were super mega popular :') I tried for AGUST D (even bought the dang membership again LOL) and didn't get into the ARMY presale. My friend did manage to get VIP, but I'm terrified of the GA for her 😬😅

You'll have to keep me updated about all your concert experiences to come!!! Amidst new jobs, moving, etc., I can only afford one more concert this year (since I have to travel for most of them and that's an additional cost 😞) and I'm banking all my money on SVT 😭 They are my ults and I wanna see OT13 before the m-word starts 😥

Otherwise if timing doesn't work out well with my new job and I don't get to see them, I think I'm going to try for LSFM or Red Velvet. Do you like any gg's btw? I totally forgot that Baekhyun is having a world tour too????? Besides B.I's Waterfall album, BAMBI was definitely my most played album of 2020 🤣😂 CHEF'S KISSES - he never fails to surprise us just when I think something is his best work yet.

SZA must've been something else!! I've only heard good things about her shows. We'll see about Ed Sheeran and if time/money allows! I'll keep you updated. I don't doubt Taylor Swift will have another show!! Rooting for you~

@twogyuu I’m still highkey embarrassed/ashamed of the length of what follows but you said you didn’t mind the long messages so…

Yeah in terms of kpop being a phase - I told myself that for awhile and I tried so hard not to fall into it more after BTS but there are just so many amazing groups and songs out there. And when c*vid hit I had way too much time on my hands, so yeah...me and kpop are basically trauma-bonded now lol 😂 But for real it’s only increased my love of music and creativity in general so I’m happy to have come across it!

Friend, I’m so sorry you experienced the trauma of the MOTS tour as well. And oof don’t break my delusional heart…I still stupidly have hope that somehow BTS will give us one more OT7 tour after the military 🥺. Even if they can’t do the choreo anymore and I’ve become an actual adult by the time it happens (🤣) I will still wanna see/hear them with my actual eyeballs and ears lol. I have to believe I’ll have another chance to see them all together. And omg, sending well wishes for your friend…I’m a short girlie and one thing about concerts for me - I absolutely cannot do GA, ever. I won’t be able to see and I gotta deal with people all over me...That mosh pit scene in pretty lies was literally just me randomly writing out one of my greatest fears lol…nope nope nope!!!

The Link tour was fun, getting to see them and all, but I was honestly sad that they didn't perform much of any songs from their newest album - I think it was literally only 2 Baddies (the title track) and Faster 🙁. This newest album of theirs is one of my absolute faves they've released (almost no skips) and I really wanted to hear more of it live, especially Gold Dust and 1,2,7 (Time Stops). But I loved seeing Mark and Taeyong riff off each other during rap songs, Doyoung's voice was absolutely beautiful during his solo songs, MOON TAEIL also slaying vocals, Johnny shirtless lol (but for real - the entire performance of Focus from that set to the choreo was one of the most memorable parts, everyone killed it vocally and performance wise <3), Yuta's amazing Butterfly solo performance, Jaehyun being effortlessly flirty, Jungwoo looking gorgeous irl. And they did a lot of their hits so I really can't complain (faves live were Kick It, Cherry Bomb, Lemonade, Touch, Highway to Heaven, FAVORITE (my fave hehe), and of course Sticker lol 💀). It was a total party! Also Taeyong talking to the audience was too f-ing cute, like I can't - he's actually so soft irl lol 😂

And are we sharing the same braincells??? Because I was originally gonna say this in the last post but didn't wanna sound like I was being selective but like…besides being in awe of Ten, I'm specifically trash for Yang Yang and Xiaojun of WayV 😳😂 For Yang Yang - time of death was when he and Ten released Low Low. The song is such a bop and when I saw his smile at timestamp 0:12 in the mv I was like…yeah I want him. And then his entire part in the first verse of that song like...ugh I totally fell for those lyrics (ik embarrassing) lol. Like the deal was basically sealed after that. Idk what it is about him but he just has this inexplicable charm…like whatever “it” is, he has it. Idk I don't make the rules. And Xiaojun? He is p r e t t y, ok? I am basic. Like do you see how thick his eyebrows are??? But like also his voice and he’s so soft and idk ok imma stop ALKJDLFKF. But for real I gotta see them all live because I just know their concert would be a total party. Sooo many b.o.p.s.

Also don’t feel bad if Ateez isn’t your thing!!! Funny story but the first song I ever heard from them was Wave and I was like oh this is cute, lemme check them out, and then I randomly chose HALA HALA out of all of their mvs to watch as an introduction and I was like - tf??? 🤣 And then I literally didn’t look into them again for like 6 months to a year bc I just did not get why that song was so popular and like now it’s one of my favorites 🤣 They do tend to lean darker for their cb tracks and if that isn’t ur cup of tea, that’s totally cool! I just can’t stop myself from bringing them up in any kpop convo bc I l*ve them lol. But if you really want recs from their discography, idk what kind of sound you gravitate towards so i’ll give you a mix (it’s also bc i love talking abt them and their music so indulge my Atiny brainrot for one last time hehe)

*IF I STAR IT LIKE THIS THESE ARE MY PERSONAL FAVES OF EACH VIBE BUT I LIST MORE AS WELL BC PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES LOL*

If you like softer/more chill/comfort I’d check out - *WITH U*, My Way, *Wave*, *Illusion*, *Sunrise*, *Aurora*, Dancing Like Butterfly Wings, *Promise*, If Without You, *THANK U*, *FEVER*, *Turbulence*, Twilight, *One Day At a Time*, Light, Stay, *Better*, *Time of Love*, Celebrate, *The Letter*, and All About You.

If you like emotional ballads I’d recommend - *Be With You*, *Star 1117*, *Turbulence*, *Not Too Late*, and *MIST*.

If you wanna hear fan-faves/powerful/iconic performance/choreo/hype type stuff (what made me stan them basically) I’d recommend - *Say My Name*, Answer, *Deja Vu*, ROCKY, *The Real*, *Pirate King*, *Treasure* *HALAZIA*, *HALA HALA*, *WONDERLAND*, *WIN*, *Guerrilla*, *INCEPTION*, and *Fireworks* <I’d def recommend watching the mvs for these recs.

Spicy recs if ur into that hehe (watch mv/vid performances)  - *Inception*, *Cyberpunk*, *The Ring*, *Fireworks* (ESP. the beginning of the mv), *Deja Vu*, Sector 1 (once again, specifically the beginning lol).

And then if this is getting a little tldr (ik it is i’m so sorry) and I could only choose 5 6 7 songs that define Ateez/songs to inject into my veins I would choose Pirate King, Say My Name, Star 1117, Aurora, HALA HALA, Wave, and The Real.

Did I literally spend a disgustingly long amount of time happily categorizing the bulk of their discography? Yes, yes I did. And I very much enjoyed it 🤪

Also, you don’t have to do this immediately (or ever) if it’s a hassle, but I am still quite new to seventeen’s discography (yay!!!) so if you ever wanna share your song recs (some faves from what I've sporadically encountered so far are Darl+ing, Left & Right, Fear, Do Re Mi, Cheers, *DON'T WANNA CRY omg*, Ready to love, Rock with you, _WORLD, Home, Chilli, Anyone, and Thinkin' about you) + any other content that made you really really like them I would absolutely love that <3 bonus points if the other content involves mingyu, wonwoo, vernon, and/or seungcheol bc i need bias receipts 😏

But enough about MEN. Heck yeah I listen to girl groups!!! Actually, before I found BTS or even knew what the heck kpop was, I remember listening to Taeyeon (before I knew SNSD lol) and Red Velvet. They were my true gateway into kpop. It was like 2016 or 2017, and I was dabbling in Korean R&B (I could go down a whole rabbit hole of recs in this genre too, but i won’t here - feel free to ask more if ur interested in that genre), and I remember really liking Eric Nam’s Interview album at the time (esp. the song Good For You <3). And so I was pouring through his discography and fell in love with this song called Spring Love that he did with Wendy (love Like Water btw). And then from there I learned she was part of a group and I found Red Velvet!!! I played the heck out of their songs, and I could literally list their entire discography, but some of the first gems I ever heard where I was like oh yeah they’re special were One of these Nights, Would U, and of course the iconic Bad Boy. Those women can sing. The harmonies??? The vocals??? Total queens. When they released their most recent album I was playing Feel My Rhythm nonstop in the car for a few weeks - like the people in my passenger’s seat hated me lol but like...the key change at the end??? How can you only listen to that once??? And then the song In My Dreams…my hopelessly romantic, pining heart approves. And like Seulgi??? She’s so cool bruh lol. Loved her song Who Are You with BamBam, and her solo album was so great!!! The cover image for that album is just so iconic to me for some reason. I absolutely loved the entire concept. I am praying they announce US tour dates for Red Velvet 😭 For Taeyeon, 11:11, I Blame on You, Fine, and I (ft. Verbal Jint) were in regular rotation. Her voice is absolutely stunning and it’s like she’s singing straight into your heart or something. Just gives me the feels - like I begin feeling whatever emotion she’s putting into the song. Ugh. And she continues to spit out bops - What Do I Call You, WEEKEND (literally feels like a Friday when that one comes on <3), Can’t Control Myself (obsessed with this song + concept such a vibe), INVU (the way I memorized that little hand movement of the letters that she does in the chorus 💀). Heck - Hotel del Luna is literally on my list of kdramas to watch purely because of her beautiful song from the soundtrack (I think the translated title is All About You) 😭😭😭

And there are so many other great girl groups in kpop!!! Can’t list them all but dangit if I’m not gonna try - first of all I gotta shout out my girls StayC (stayc girls, it’s goin down.) Probably my fave of the newer gen groups and for me their discography is like no skips, esp. their YOUNG-LUV.COM EP. Then there’s Everglow with their insane choreography (the song First like omggg that ones prob my favorite besides La Di Da) and their hypnotizing pre chorus mottos. Like idk how they do it but they always have like some insanely catchy little saying or something right before they go into the chorus or like the chorus is crazy catchy like what the heck lol. Got into WJSN after Queendom, and their most recent release Last Sequence - like omg…the chorus and post-chorus of that song is like a literal d r u g. I gotta catch up on LSFM releases but the way Fearless had a chokehold on me for awhileeeeee. Aespa - once again just mindbending vocals/harmonies. Love Winter and Ningning esp. And the way I still try to do that crazy flat hand thing from Next Level 🤣 and I also weirdly love how that song is like two songs squished together - like ok SM they actually pulled that off for me somehow 🤣 The way both the bridge and the ending sequence of vocals at the end of Savage are absolutely insaneeee and I love hearing it every time it comes on. NewJeans literally releases bop after bop (🎵attentiooooooon🎵) like I don’t know what kind of magic sauce they’ve got going on over there. Weeekly is such a gem as well and I have been following/rooting for them ever since their debut song After School blew up! Their music is full of wonderful melodies! Can’t wait to see where they go! Fromis_9 is great, Oh My Girl, (g)i-dle (MINNIE esp. AHHHH), Hyolyn (straight b.o.p.s.), Viviz is great. I keep hearing buzz about the group XG and am planning to check them out soon when I have some time! Currently loving Kitsch by IVE and am excited to check out I Am. Also Cupid by Fifty Fifty??? (literally know nothing about this group but this song is just a total bop). So many other ggs/female acts old and new that I haven’t listed here, including some obviously super big well-known ones but like it’s a given I listen to songs of theirs as well so I wanted to give some love to my fave faves and some hidden gems <3 So yeah, the kpop girlies are out here doing it and leaving no crumbs. We stan.

Lastly, adulting is a drag lol. I hate transitionary periods and also had my own recently so I’m wishing you the best and hope that once all the logistical stuff is settled, better/great things await you on the other side! And priorities!!! Definitely save your coins for Seventeen and make sure you see them all together!!! Ed is likely to tour again, and I am rooting for you too!!!

[monstersinthecosmos]

idk why this post was resurrected in the night but now that it's been some time and calmed down a little, that IWTV zine was nothing but fuckin red flags guys lol.

First thing you need to do if you see a zine you wanna join and/or buy, is check out the mods. Absolutely step one is if they do not have their mods listed, run. Do not walk. But once you identify the mods:

Have they modded zines before? (if yes, how did it go?) (if no, try to ask some very basic questions about their plans, their mod roles, what they plan to do with finances, etc. Some people might have real life work experience and can handle it, or have done their research, even if they've never done a zine yet.)

Do they regularly demonize fans in the fandom bc of what they like? (ie: instead of posts like "this is why that thing in canon was gross" they write things like "fans of this thing in canon are gross". I know this sounds petty and like it's about silly fandom politics but there is a history of doxxing in situations like this, and these types of people in fandom are always 1 or 2 salty posts away from suggesting that the people they don't like belong on a list. Tread carefully, stay safe.) ((This is also because mods need to be people wranglers, too. You're managing a project that might involve 40-50 people. You are HR, you are the babysitter, you are the mediator. If the mod is posting "fans of this character are GROSS" etc on their blog every other week, how is fan of that character supposed to DM them for zine stuff? Zine mods need to be mature and able to navigate different types of people who are not like themselves.))

Have they even PARTICIPATED in the fandom before? Or are they conveniently popping up to make money off of you? If you can't find posts about them demonizing people, that's a good step, but if they haven't posted in your fandom AT ALL like, who are you? Why are you here?

I think there's a lot of really valid discourse and conversation out there right now about the current landscape of zines and the high production small businesses they've turned into, vs the original DIY anarchist meaning. I think it's valid to say that "zines" today should be referred to as "art books" or "anthologies" when they're professionally printed. I also understand that we don't have word to use so they're all being lumped together right now.

It doesn't mean that these high end art books or anthologies are not fun to make, or fun to have. I have several! I head modded one myself! But if you're showing up out of nowhere, not even a fan of the thing, not someone who feels warm & fuzzy about having a physical copy of your fav fanworks, I gotta ask if you're just here for money and clout.

These books cost money, they just do. You can always make an old school zine or do digital only for no overhead. But if you DO want a shiny book to have on your shelf forever, it costs money. And I'm personally extremely wary of folks coming into fandoms with capitalistic interests. A community project that we do for the love of fandom and love for our fellow creators and love of fanworks is different from some unaffiliated stranger popping in and asking for your time & money.

Even smaller projects bring in thousands of dollars. As a contributor you're giving them hours of your own labor, and as a customer you could be spending upwards of $100. This is not a small thing.

And like, the problem here too is that zines aren't necessarily profitable for the mods, compared to the hours they put in. So I'd be really fucking careful trusting people like this, because it's happened TOO MANY TIMES that a mod disappears with thousands of dollars and never even intended to order any of the product.

It's just sketchy as fuck.

And with VC in particular there is a long and fraught history of why we didn't monetize fanworks, and I think barreling out of the gate the way they did was irresponsible as fuck, especially with so many rookie mistakes. And when asked extremely softball questions about their policies and how they planned to screen people (ie, are you going to waste everyone's time 6 months later when you decide they're the icky wrong kind of fan), they shut down and couldn't answer.

Be careful! Ask questions! Be harsh if you need to. Do not trust flaky creeps!!!!

I don't have time to get into this right now and I'm happy to expand on it later when I have a minute to sit down, but: Do not give your money to zines runs by antis.

Do not participate in zines run by antis.

Do not trust people who have never participated in your fandom until they show up trying to make money off of you.

ZINE DRAMA is not ~fandom drama~. Zines are independent small businesses. Any time money is exchanged, you risk sharing your legal name. Any time physical media is purchased to be mailed, you share your home address.

Do not trust antis with your personal information. It is not safe.

I really try not to engage in drama and bullshit on here because I think it's irresponsible and wastes everyones time, but when this type of money and personal safety is involved I think it's absolutely crucial to be aware of it. This is not drama, it's very basic safety.

Especially in this fucking fandom, with its history. There is a reason we have not had zines, and they would know that if they actually spent time here before trying to monetize your work. I say this due to their handling of it and also in case fandom folks around here don't have zine experience and don't know what red flags to look for, since we haven't had any. There is a mature and responsible way to navigate this new territory and this is absolutely not it.

[rebeccakitty]

“He will Never touch you again”

Eddie Munson x Reader

Wanted to write an Eddie Fanfic for awhile. However, It’s been YEARS since I wrote anything. Be kind. I know it’s rough. I’ve been way out of practice. I don’t know what i’m doing, but I wanted to write something for Eddie since I am obsessed and in love with him. He’s basically the one thing that has made me happy through a difficult time in my life right now.

Also I will note TW for Physical Abuse. There’s no sex, as I wanted to write a protective Eddie scene first. I hope it’s good enough. I had fun writing it, though as I stated, I’m WAY out of practice. This is the first thing I’ve written in 10+ years. Just be kind. lol 

*********

You have been dating Eddie Munson for a couple of months now in secret. You knew your parents would disapprove of you hanging out with the town’s declared freak and from their view, outside looking in, they would view Eddie as a Satanic cult leader. Your family wasn’t overly strict or religious per se, but they did eat up any overblown propaganda they saw on the news. You had intended to avoid Eddie yourself at all costs, but One day when you had to sit next to him in English class and had a group Book project to do with him, that’s when you started actually getting to know the real Eddie.

He may have looked Scary and intimidating on the outside, but you quickly warmed up to him as he constantly made you laugh. You then started to sit next to him and his other nerd friends during lunch. You never heard of Dungeons and Dragons before, but you couldn’t help but loving every second of Eddie and his friends talk about their campaigns. It wasn’t soon after that that the two of you had started dating. You started going over to Eddie’s trailer under the guise of tutoring or Group projects as your excuse to anyone who may ask.

Needless to say, you were surprised when you walked home one day to find that your parents were both waiting for you in the living room and they didn’t look happy. “Hey, mom. Hey, Dad.....uh, Is something wrong?” You asked, nervously. You saw your mom nervously shift around in her seat. She wasn’t very confrontational. Your dad, However......

“We have heard very disturbing rumors going on about you hanging out with that Munson boy!” You father roared, standing up from his chair. “What? No! No! I only tutor him occasionally. It’s purely...” “DON’T YOU START!” Your dad shouted, cutting off your prepared lie. “We didn’t want to believe it either, but then we found this in your room!” He then pulled out a bag that you had stored under your bed. You knew it wasn’t the perfect hiding spot for it, but it was better than nothing. He threw the bag on the coffee table and opened it and inside were DnD books that Eddie had let you borrow. They were beginner guides to help you understand the game more. “Can you please explain to me why my daughter has these Satanic cult books?! Did he give him to you?! Are you joining his little cult?!” Your dad was furiously.

“They aren’t C-cult books, dad! It’s just a G-game!” You stuttered out, frozen in fear. Your dad often had really bad tempers and you knew back-talking him and trying to correct him would only make him more angry, but you had to try to defend Eddie. “No! You listen here! These books, This “Game” is Sinful and I will not have my daughter partake in it. I won’t have you be learning how to summon demons for the Devil” He said. You then tried to lunge for the bag and it’s contents off the table, but your dad was quicker and grabbed it out of your reach. “Didn’t you hear me?! I said NO!” He shouted. In one quick motion, he threw the bag and the books in the fireplace, a roaring fire already burning. “DAD, NO! Those were Eddie’s! He let me borrow them!” You cried, reaching out towards the fire.

In another surprising motion, your father struck you across the face. You fell from the force to the floor, landing on your backpack you still had strapped over your back. “Richard!” Your mother cried, finally speaking up during this whole shitshow. “Richard, you said you were just going to speak with her. Now you have gone too far!” She continued. “Too far?! I’m trying to save our daughter’s soul from this heathen. I will do whatever it takes” He said, turning to face your mother. “Y/n, Go upstairs to your room. I’m very sorry that everything has led to this. Go upstairs and I will talk to your father” Your mom said. You stood up, hand covering your reddened cheek. You quickly ran upstairs to your room and you shut the door behind you. You heard your parents resume talking to each other, your dad still very loud.

You rushed over to the window and pulled it open, frantically. There was no chance in Hell that you were going to standby and wait for your parents to return. You had never gone out the window before, but you were desperate to get to Eddie’s. He was your safe haven in this moment. You carefully put your legs through the window first, tried to steady yourself, and then jumped out. Your fall was a bit clumsy, but you didn’t injure yourself any further. Then you started running towards the Trailer park with only your boyfriend in mind.

------

You were panting heavily as you reached Eddie’s trailer. You knocked several times before Eddie’s uncle, Wayne, answered the door. You had only met him on some occasions due to the fact that he always worked late, but he always treated you kindly.  “I’m sorry, but Eddie’s still out right now, Miss Y/n” He said, noting some concern in his tone. In your haste, you failed to notice that Eddie’s van wasn’t in front. He was still at School. ‘It’s hellfire night tonight’ You remembered. The tears had rushed in before you had a chance to stifle them. Startled, Wayne helped you inside. “Is everything alright? What’s wrong, Miss” He said. You shook your head. “Can I just wait until Eddie comes home please?” You asked through your sobs. “Yes, that’s quite alright. I’m going to have to leave for work soon though, so help yourself with whatever you need while you wait.” He said, kindly. “T-thank you” You cried, trying to give him a small smile before you turned and walked down the hall to Eddie’s room.

You laid on Eddie’s bed and held his pillow close to your chest. It smelled just like him and it began to comfort you as you just cried into it. You were going through everything that had just happened. Trying to process all of it. Your dad was never physically violent with you. Ever. Sure, He got mad, a little hotheaded even. But it never....The memory of the slap just kept haunting you. You falling to the floor. Eddie’s books burning. You felt awful about everything. ‘How am I going to tell him when he gets home?’ You thought.

********

Meanwhile, Eddie was playing a Campaign of DnD with Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and the others. “11! That’s a....MISS!” Eddie jeered, smiling freakishly at Dustin’s failed attempted to fireball a monster. “GODDAMN IT!” Dustin shouted. Eddie laughed maniacally on his throne. The game continued on for another couple of hours, the campaign having to be continued another night as it was already getting quite late. Eddie got in his van along with the freshmen and he decided to drop them off home at each of their houses.

By the time he got home himself, It was almost 9:00. He knew his uncle would be gone by then, already at work. Eddie walked in his home and noticed a note on the table.

 “I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to check on your girl. She came over and seemed really upset by something. It seems like something must have startled or hurt her. She should be waiting for you in your room. -- W”.

Eddie scanned the note twice over, but as the information actually hit his brain, He rushed toward his bedroom. Sure, enough as he opened the door his girlfriend was there, tucked in his bed holding on tightly to his pillow. She fast asleep. He cursed himself that his campaign took so long. If he had known that you needed him urgently, for whatever the reason, he would have been here. Come Hell or High water. He didn’t want to have to wake you. You looked so peaceful right now, but he was worried about what had happened to have you come all the way here. Your relationship was a secret he knew and it didn’t make any sense for you to come here tonight. He gently sat down on the bed next to you. He looked you over. You didn’t seemed injured to him. He carefully reached out a hand and shook you awake. “Y/N. Y/N, Wake up, princess.” He said sweetly.

  *******

You shuttered awake and recoiled away from the sudden sensation of touch. You were frightened. “Whoa! hey, hey, now Princess. It’s only me. It’s Eddie. Your safe.” Eddie said, responding to your sudden movement as you awoke. You relaxed as you remembered where you were and as your eyes focused on Eddie sitting across from you. “Eddie!” You cried as you tackled him down hugging him. The tears began again, all messy and snotty. You backed off of Eddie. “Oh, I’m sorry. Your shirt” You said, as you tried patting the area where your tears and snot had made a wet patch in his Hellfire shirt. His most prized Possession. “Hey now, No. It’s just a shirt, babe. What’s wrong? What happened? What is that on your face?!” Eddie asked, now suddenly noticing the bruise that was forming on your cheek from where your father hit you. All the memories of your welcome home flooded back in. You didn’t know how to begin.

“I-i went home right after school and my parents....well, they know about us, kind of....” You started. Eddie just stayed there, patiently listening and waiting for you to continue whenever you took a pause. You saw the concern and worry in his eyes though. That’s what you loved about him. “My dad found your DnD books. The ones you let me borrow.” You said. Eddie’s eyes slightly widened at that shock. “Did he hurt you?! over a couple of books!” He exclaimed. You nodded your head and began crying. “He threw your books in the fire! I tried to save them but then he slapped me! Eddie, it was awful! I’ve never seen my dad so angry before!” You sobbed. Your breathing became uncontrollable. You were heaving as Eddie grabbed you and held you close to him. “Shh, it’s ok, Y/n. It’s ok” He said, quietly in your ear. “I’m sorry about your books” You cried out. “Forget the books! I don’t care about them. I only care about you. What else did he do?” He said, still holding you close. “Mom sent me to my room after that. I don’t know what happened. I left.” You said. “Wait, how?” Eddie asked, leaning away to look into your eyes. “I went through the window” You said, looking back at him. Eddie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, Babe. Did you just say you jumped out the window? Oh my god.....Maybe I am becoming a bad influence on you” He laughed, a wide grin forming on his pretty face. “Shut up!” You said, playfully hitting him in the shoulder. “I had to leave. I couldn’t stay there. I wanted you.” You said, tearing up again.

Eddie stopped laughing and gently held your face. He wiped the tears forming in your eyes away. “It’s alright, princess. I’m right here” He said. You went back to hugging him close to you. He was warm and soft. He petted your head, his fingers brushing through your hair. “Everything’s going to be ok” Eddie promised. He kissed the top of your head. He made you feel completely safe as your eyes started to fell heavy once again with sleep. “I feel like kicking the shit out of your father. I’ll refrain, though if he ever touches you again....” He trailed off as he noticed that you had fallen asleep again right there on his chest. “He will never touch you again. I’ll make sure of that” He said to himself, holding on to you tightly.      

[bbybaku]

can you do more BNHA college boyfriend content? I really loved the Shigaraki one (sorry, english is not my first language)

anything for you anon

(also youre english is perfect and so are you)

def gonna make this 2 parts lolol

mha college bf head cannons

shinso

sfw 

probably majoring in something finance related 

wants to take care of you 

as in you two go shopping like every other weekend

has a ton of money from investing in crypto currency and getting lucky 

yall also go out to eat all the time 

and not like fast food like nice sit down places

you two spoon constantly 

like sleeping face to face limbs intertwined

he loves to sit with his head between your legs while watching tv

or when you two are laying down and you hold his head into your chest and hee holds your hips

you both have apartments but he likes yours because its better deccorated than his

has an amazing taste in music 

makes you playlists all the time 

uses old spice deodorant

mr hitoshi is a man who always smells good 

has amazing hygene 

you talked him into growing his hair out

now hes always asking you to play with it  

is very good at school without even trying

which drives you crazy because he always talks you out of studying 

scares off a lot of people with his scary features

which makes his insecure and needed a lot of reassureance at the start of your relationship. 

but these days he owns your ass 

nsfw 

tpyically a soft dom

is huge 

took you a while to get used to how big he is 

likes to put you in stressful situations just so he can reassure you

“shhhh hey its okay im here” 

“this will stop if you use the safe word, hmm oh whats that you want to keep going?” 

“good girl” 

stressfull situations as in he over stimulates you every god dam time. 

nothing makes him harder than you crying from pleasure 

he spoils you

once spent $200 on toys just for you because he was going out of town for a week 

his gifts for you do come with a cost

shinso goes ferral for blowjobs

and he wants them all the time 

you have def given head in an alarming amount of public restrooms 

very into roleplay

almost jizzed his pants when you put on cat ears once 

same thing when you bought a maid outfit 

in case you were wondering, yes his pubes are purple too. 

sex playlist 

homeboy loves period sex

is very into aftercare

like reads womens magazines about it 

has a sexy voice and knows it

has a mirror in front of his bed because its all about eye contact 

definition of intamacy with this man 

knows how to treat his partner 

aizawa 

the thing about aizawa is he isnt your boyfriend he is your husband 

probaby in grad school for like english 

so a lil older 

but thats okay 

he makes up for it in being hot 

and he has cats 

with very obscure names like katsu and mochi 

since he was older he invited you to live with him 

you said yes of course 

the cats liked you right away 

apartment full of books and windows 

shouta drank wine almost every night 

would grade papers for the class he assisted in 

loved holding hands everywhere 

not the biggester spooner 

but would hold you really close on the couch while you two watched films while wine drunk 

he was an introvert so you two spent most nights in 

and when you two did go out it was always something interesting 

like trivia night, or seeing a band play, or going to a dinner party

was the kind of boyfriend who was really good at co existing with you 

like what is awkward silence 

the vibe is just so positive 

and you two are so comfortable with each other

nsfw 

mr aizawa is a kinky mf behind the scenes

he does not have sex he fucks

very good with ropes 

loved controlling you 

could fuck all day 

like man had stamina 

when you two went out to dinner he would push your underwear to the side finger you under the table 

and whisper other times hes humiliated you while you squirmed under his grip  

gotta call him daddy

or sir

or master

he is the type to tie you up with your arms behind your back and put a vibrator on your clit then just disappear for an hour

also big on choking

like real big on choking

he’ll just rest his hand on your throat while you two are doing mundane thing

also asserts dominance constantly

like holding your hips at the grocery store

kissing you in a crowded place

extremely possessive

probably has a few paddles

likes to spank

really likes to brat tame

you say “make me” and you are in for a wild night

man will wear rings when he fucks you

fingers you

and chokes you

you usually come first

unless you’ve been bad

then aizawa will edge you for hours

bakugou

sfw

the definition of “i hate everyone but you”

like once you figured out how to communicate with him

best bf ever

history major

lives in a house with like 6 of his friends

but don’t worry he has his own room

always at the gym

since he’s very muscular he rarely wears a shirt when you two hang out

and he always wants you to lay on top of him

like imagine him being the ceo of picking you up and throwing you on the bed

then jumping on you

kisses. bakugo would want to make out a lot

very temperamental

like if he’s hungry or sleepy or too hot he will snap at you

but you know by now not to take it personally

also would have a ton of funny nicknames for you

examples : headass, stinky, the first letter of your name or ugly

but he would say it in a loving way

❤️ hey ugly❤️

you loved his friends

didn’t know how he scored them with how mean he was

you two spent a ton of time just lounging in his bed

liked to play fight

and bicker

really liked deep convos too like he would push you to think harder and tell him more about yourself

he didn’t say it a lot but he really liked you

nsfw

katsuki bakugou is an ass man.

big dick energy

he’s the type who wanted you to ride him all the time

but he would be in control when you rode him like death grip on your hips

he also liked to hit if from the back

likes to slam into you

the way you jiggled made him harder

not the type to hold in his grunts and moans made a lot of noise during sex

his roomates hated you guys for how loud you were

def likes his girls a lil chubby

grabbed your ass every chance he had

found porn stars that look like yours make jerking off more fun

loves fingering you.

also big degrader

you two had a lot of angry sex and a lot of make up sex

got real cranky when he was horny and couldn’t have you

took videos of you during sex to rewatch later

you got so turned on when he snapped at you

it drove him nuts

basically you two fucked a lot lol

masterlist