#and I be sitting there nodding until they stop bc god forbid I ask them to quit their rant

[milaskrypte]

It's definitely not the same thing but this is why I find gossiping and badmouthing other people so uncomfortable. Aside from being rude af, what are you getting out of it? A sense of superiority? Why do you feel like you need to compare yourself to people you have deemed as lesser or meaner than you, to prove your worth to those who share your same values?

can we please be more productive with our online time

[ohbabydollie]

some schlatt n latina reader hcs bc i can and i’ve never seen them done and it js makes sense in my mind

he absolutely loves celebrating holidays with you, especially in the winter time

“cut a small piece schlatt” you warn looking at him “but i want a big-” “i swear to god, if you get the baby” you threaten as he cuts a large chunk and starts eating it with his chocolate abuelita before suddenly stopping as you raise a brow at him

he spits something into his napkin

“le tocó el bebé! (he got the baby!)” your tía cheers as you stare at him

“you should’ve eaten it” you huff jokingly

he will speak to your family in spanish and understands them which is a first from a partner of yours and they like it very much

he’s loves the food

especially caldos y sopas

n stuff made mostly in the winter time (100% asks for caldo de pollo on the hottest day known to man)

now refuses to drink regular pack hot chocolate after drinking chocolate de abuelita and makes you make it for him when he’s craving some

like will eat 2-5 bowls of pozole if given the chance with tostadas

“mamá ya, he’s had enough to eat” you say picking up his bowl of pozole before your mom takes it “pero míralo, tiene hambre(but look at him, he looks hungry)” she says serving him some more “no le das de comer o que? (you don’t feed him or what?)” she asks placing the plate down as he grins making you roll your eyes

your tias y abuelitas LOVE him from how much he eats and how he’ll sit around gossiping and talking with them for hours

your younger siblings or cousins absolutely adore him, from gaming to playing soccer with him and will ask for him when he doesn’t come with you to a dinner or party

yk how they rent out bouncy houses for birthday parties

he’s helping the kids tipping them over and will unplug the bouncy house to mess with them as they start to yell

“why are you here? did jay come?” your nephew asks looking up at you as his mom smacks him on the head “pide la bendición primero menso (ask for blessing first dumbass)”

some of your family didn’t really understand his career at first until after he explained that making and posting videos makes him money along with his other businesses

“soy muy trabajador y tengo dos negocios (im very hard working and i have two business)” he explains as your family nods, especially your tios, in approval

speaking of tios, they didn’t like him at first

kinda standing there judging him silently, beer in hand until they offered him one and he responded in spanish

now they’re asking when the both of you plan on getting married, especially after hearing how “hard working” he is

has a love-hate relationship with the crusty white dogs or chihuahuas your family has

they will bark, bite and nip at him until he stops trying to pet and hold them

god forbid one of them claimed you as their favorite person because he is not allowed in your vicinity at all

“be nice, es tu papi (he’s your daddy)” you say, the dog growling at schlatt while schlatt gives it the cockiest grin “soy tu papi nuevo (im your new daddy)” he says going to pet the dog as it tries to bite his finger

makes jokes about you using him for a green card, money, etc. but won’t push your boundaries at all

“it’s either bisexual or bipolar and i chose bipolar when it comes with a fat ass in forbidden pants” schlatt tells the chat as you come in, handing him something to eat and walk out as he watches you, “yeah the red flags are looking green when you’re seeing them from behind”

likes your attitude, just the witty comebacks n stuff

especially when you’re around his friends and say something in spanish that will have him flustered while they ask for him to translate

if he ever genuinely makes you upset he’s at your feet, apologizing

“please please please please” he begs, on the floor “jay, it’s fine” you say crossing your arms in the way he knows it means its not fine “POR FAVOR (PLEASE) Y/N, ILL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT” he begs, pulling out his wallet

is probably the biggest simp known to man for you

will use anything as an excuse to show you off, like anything

even gifts, he’ll take a photo of the gift and post it along side a selfie you sent him just to show you off some more

flexes you to everyone from his friends to chat

“what does the schirlfriend look like?” he reads off, immediately grabbing his phone to show off the new lock screen he has of you “hot as fuck, i’ll tell you that for sure”

might write some more if u guys want it :3

[orphic-osamu]

Hello can I request “You bake when you're stressed and sometimes you give me cookies, but recently you're giving me whole baskets each day, now I'm not complaining but are you okay?" au w/Akutagawa? Congrats on 800 🎉🎉😊!

title > fresh cookies

genre > fluff

wc > 1.3k

song > out like a light ii

a/n > hello i’m so sorry i took so long. few things about this: imo it’s vv sloppy n frankly i think i shouldn’t have posted this but i didn’t wanna keep this sitting in my inbox for longer. akutagawa is ooc here? bc ngl don’t feel like doing a whole mafioso vibe for him rn, so he’s a soft boy here. i will fix the template of this post tomorrow

— AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE —

when akutagawa first made cookies, they were quite horrible. some pieces were burnt, some tasted like rocks, and some had hardened into a weird, melted shape. he’s never cooked or baked, let alone make a full batch of cookies. however after meeting you, the cute baker across the street, he figured he’d try it out to impress you. the first try made him scowl for days after gin giggled and told him that they were barely edible.

the second time akutagawa made cookies, gin had invited you over without him knowing. you caught him in the midst of trying the treat fresh from the oven. his face twisted in disgust and he rushed to spit out the remnants of the cookie. he didn’t even see you reaching to grab one off the tray. when he realized, it was too late. grimace was written all over your face as an awkward hello slipped out of your mouth. akutagawa flushed red. how was he supposed to impress you now?

“i don’t think you put sugar, akutagawa-san.”

from across the room, gin laughed at your comment. “he’s been trying to bake cookies over and over again, he just can’t get it right.”

akutagawa wished that the ground would open up and swallow him whole right then and there. he was already so embarrassed and gin just loved to make it worse. he expected you to laugh at him, call him stupid for not being able to make such a simple delicacy.

“would you like me to teach you?”

there was visible surprise struck across his face at your suggestion. his fingers pulled on the edge of his sleeve as he fiddled with it back and forth.

“o-okay,” he stammered.

the third time akutagawa tried to bake cookies was the morning after his embarrassing encounter with you. he stood anxiously by the kitchen counter, his fingers dancing around to ease his distress.

“where’s your apron?” you asked, reaching into your bag to wear your own.

“apron..?”

akutagawa couldn’t bring himself to say he didn’t have one. you smiled knowingly at him, pulling out an extra you had. “it’s not like you have to wear one, but it puts you in the spirit, y’know?”

he wasn’t sure if he agreed. especially when the one you gave him was frilly, streaked with red and white flowers. nonetheless, he wore it. perhaps the apron was the secret to making a successful batch of cookies.

“do i look silly?” he asked, seeing your grin turn teasing more than assuring.

“mm, a little, but you still look good.”

his body flared red. admittedly, it was flustering, but if it meant seeing you smile, he supposed it was worth the trouble.

you hovered over his shoulder throughout the entire baking process, helping out here and there (like saving him from switching up the salt and sugar). until finally, all that was left was to leave them in the oven to bake.

“so, why’d you suddenly go on a cookie craze?” you leaned against the counter, trying to rest your body whilst waiting for the timer to go off. the boy fussed around with the straps of the apron, itching to take it off.

“uh, it just seems like a fun thing to do.” it wasn’t entirely true, but it’s not like he could openly say he wanted to make you a batch and pose as an expert baker to possibly strike up a conversation with you. though after you taught him, he decided that baking was enjoyable, and was definitely something he’d do again.

after that, you two settled into comfortable conversation. drowning in laughter and stories to the point where you hardly heard the timer going off. the cookies looked decent and akutagawa could only hope they tasted decent as he watched you take a bite. your eyes lit up in excitement, taking more and more bites off the cookie.

“is it good?”

you nodded, pushing him to try it too.

the next time akutagawa baked, he did it to take his mind off work. his blood was boiling and taking it out with the use of violence didn’t seem to help. his movements were harsh and rushed as he mixed the ingredients. his mind was clouded with red and he barely stopped himself from pouring an entire bowl of salt into the mix. once he caught himself, he sighed and pushed everything aside.

his eyes shut as he took deep breaths to calm himself. he already learned how to make this exact same recipe from you, he didn’t want to mess up again. his mind drifted of into thoughts of you. the way you teased him by making him wear such a girly apron, to the soft tone in your voice as you reminded him to put sugar instead of salt.

feeling the haze clear up, he picked up the spatula and resumed, movements more relaxed and calm.

the fourth, fifth, sixth time akutagawa baked, was for the same reason as the last. with every time going almost exactly the same. rage making his hands tremble until he thinks about the sweetness in your aura when you helped him. and for every time, you and gin were the only people he gave the cookies too. with every batch came a conversation with you. and soon you learned the pattern.

whenever he’d have a rough day, he’d come and give you a freshly baked batch of cookies. pretty soon he begun baking other sweets. cakes, donuts and the list goes on. and you were there to try everything, to provide him with constructive criticism.

you didn’t mind at all. if this was his way of relieving stress, then so be it. not only did you get treats from it, but you also got the baker behind them to come and talk to you. it’d happen at least once a week, usually on a sunday when he’s finished for the week. thus, you’ve learned to keep your sundays free just for when he comes by.

however one day, he baked a cake for you. and it wouldn’t be a problem if the following six days he didn’t come to give all sorts of things. he hardly noticed how drained he looked, and he would’ve gone baking for weeks straight if you didn’t ask him about it.

“are you alright? i know you use baking to cope, but you’ve been giving me so much every single day.”

“i am?”

the frown on your face tugged on his heart. you invited him in to sit down and relax for a bit, to talk about anything that was bothering him. but when he sat down, he couldn’t find the words. having you near him made everything dissipate into thin air, and suddenly nothing was wrong in the world.

“so? what’s wrong?”

he shrugged with a sheepish smile, “don’t quite remember.”

you sighed and shook your head. “but it helps when you bake, right?”

he nodded before averting his gaze from yours. all it once it hit him how close you were, and how he was sitting on your couch, in your cozy little place. his cheeks were painted red in embarrassment, causing him to shuffle away from you.

“and you don’t wanna talk about anything? you just wanna bake?”

he nodded again. another sigh left your lips. you tugged him off the couch and into the kitchen.

“well then, what are you waiting for? let’s bake. hmm, i saw this recipe and i wanted to try it out...” your words trailed off as he looked at you admiringly.

god forbid he say anything now. but maybe one day he’ll tell you. he’ll tell you about how baking isn’t so much of a reliever, and instead it’s the memory of you baking with him that came with it. maybe one day he’ll tell you that it wasn’t about making cookies, but rather seeing you get excited after he gives you a batch. that it wasn’t about learning new things, and more about the time he got to spend with you.

[calumance]

Ok but the family going to the beach and one of the babies (either one of the 3) are still breastfeeding and so mama feeds them bc obviously they’d get hungry/tired and cal is just so amazed by it and he thinks she looks so good doing it. And if you wanna spice it up maybe some random person comes up to mama and tells her not to do it in public and mama goes OFF ON HER

Story time: I used to work in a customer service position (now I work kind of behind the scenes) and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched women hide in the bathroom to feed their babies. Listen, if your baby needs to eat, feed them. I will fight anyone who says otherwise. 😤😤😤 

        The weather was absolutely beautiful, at least for it being in the middle of the summer. The sun was out and with the sprinkling of clouds in the sky, it wasn’t too hot. Logan and Aiden were running around the house, chasing each other. Bailey was asleep in her bouncer that was still on the automatic setting. Calum was sitting on the couch with his headphones on and a notebook in his hands. You placed your chin in your hands and popped a grape in your mouth thinking that it was way too nice out to be stuck inside.

        An idea sprung into your head and you pushed yourself away from the table and walked over to Calum. You tapped his shoulder and sat next to him. He took his headphones off his ears and let it hang around his neck. “We should go to the beach.” You said before he got a chance to say anything.

        He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, “Maybe we should, we haven’t gone to the beach in a long while. If you want to wrangle the kids, I’ll pack a bag.” Calum never turned down a beach day, he loved sitting out in the sun and then dipping into the cold ocean water. You just loved it because of how much your family enjoyed it.

        It took very little to convince the kids to go to the beach. Almost immediately, they ran to their room and changed into their swim suits. While Calum packed the bag you pulled Bailey out of her bouncer and into the nursery to change her into her little swim suit too. She giggled as you made faces at her and tickled her little tummy to keep her happy while changing her. Once you were done changing Bailey, you hoisted her onto your hip and helped Calum get everything loaded into the car.

        The beach was crowded, but not so crowded that you couldn’t find a place to sit and relax. For a while, Logan sat with Bailey and played in the sand. Aiden went into the water with Calum, and you laid back onto your elbows and enjoyed how the sun felt on your skin. Calum and Aiden made their way back to the spot and as Calum sat down, he kissed your forehead. “I’m so glad you suggested going to the beach, this is much better than sitting at home.”

        You smiled at him and nodded. Within a split second, Bailey started to get fussy and started to cry. Logan took that as a time to go to the water, and asked Aiden to go with him. As if on cue to Bailey’s cries, your breasts started to hurt, and you knew it was time to feed her. You pushed yourself off your elbows into a sitting position and grabbed Bailey before she started screaming. “I need to feed her, did you bring my cover?” Calum nodded and reached for the bag and started rifling through it as you started to unclip the strap of your swim suit. Calum handed you the cover and you slipped it over your head and adjusted yourself and Bailey until she finally latched on.

        Calum had always been blown away by how amazing you were at feeding the kids. Even when Aiden was a baby, he would stare and tell you how beautiful you were when you fed him. It didn’t change with Logan, and it didn’t change with Bailey either. You looked away from Bailey and over to Calum who was looking at you with admiring eyes. You smiled at him and leaned towards him to press a soft kiss to his lips. “You always look so amazing to me when you feed the babies.” He whispered only centimeters away from your lips. He kissed you again, and placed his finger tips on your jaw line.

        You parted lips just in time for a woman around the same age as you to walk by and give you a disgusted look. Your eyebrows pulled together as you shot a dirty look back at her. Seeing your dirty look, she stopped in her place and scoffed, “Maybe you could’ve walked to the bathrooms and done that in private.” She used her finger to draw an imaginary circle around you, referring to you feeding your child.

        The anger surged through your body, and your blood started to boil. You tried to keep your anger at bay, so you chuckled and looked over at Calum whose face was also twisting with anger. “I’m sorry this bothers you so much, but my baby was hungry and I needed to feed her, just like how when you’re hungry, you eat too.” You shrugged and looked down at Bailey whose eyes were closed and she was gently suckling to get her fill.

        The woman scoffed again, “Yeah, but this is a public beach, there are people here who don’t need or want to see that. If you need to breast feed, you should do it in private.” She placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow.

        You raised both of your eyebrows and looked down at yourself, which was one hundred percent covered by the breast feeding cover that was on top of you. “I’m sorry, but technically I am in private. I am one hundred percent covered, and I am sitting in my own space with my own family. It’s you who is invading my privacy by coming over here and starting a fight about doing something that is completely natural.” The anger started to boil over and Calum looked at you, silently asking you to not cause a scene, but you will always cause a scene when it comes down to your babies. “You know what, I’ll give you something to be mad about.” In one swift motion you took the cover off and tossed it to the side. Bailey was still latched on, but she was nearly asleep. “There you go, the whole boob is out, go call the cops because god forbid a woman feed her child!”

        The woman’s cheeks flushed bright red as she stumbled away from you, embarrassed and angry that she had to witness something completely and utterly natural, such as feeding a baby when they’re hungry. Your heart was beating so fast that you felt like your head was going to explode. Once the woman was out of sight, you grabbed the cover again and put it over your head, allowing Bailey the time to unlatch. Once you adjusted yourself and clipped the strap of your swim suit you hoisted Bailey over your shoulder and started patting her back. Within a few seconds of starting to burp her, an older woman came over. She started speaking before you started chewing her out, too, “Hi, I’m sorry to interrupt your family time, but I just wanted to let you know that you have every right to feed your baby right where you are. Babies need to eat, which mama’s need to feed them. Good job telling that lady how it is.” She nodded and waved her hand before continuing on.

        Calum cleared his throat and you turned your head to look at him. “You are an amazing woman, I love it when you stick up for yourself and our babies.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. “I’m so lucky to have you.” He kissed you again and your smiled against his lips. You were never going to let anyone tell you or your kids what you should and shouldn’t do.

************

Tag list: @mantlereid @notinthesameguey @viiirg0 @wheniminouterspace @thinkofmehlgh @another-lonely-heart @limer-encia @itsmytimetoodream @babyoria @treatallwithkindness

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

BTS as FWB

Hyung Line

My sister and I were talking about this yesterday so I thought I'd do a post about how bts would handle being a fwb (spoiler alert they all catch feelings eventually)

**Also I take requests for BTS and maybe Monsta X so hmu in my asks, fam**

Hyung Line (Maknae Line coming up bc this got Loooong)

Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol tw

Word Count: 1,779

Namjoon (RM)

If it was your idea, he would be so down like "yeah of course who needs relationships?" but low-key he wanted to confess to you 5 seconds before you suggested an arrangement

Puts that mouth to WORK

Likes it a little rough but nothing that would leave bruises or hickeys that's for amateurs

He has a downright filthy mouth this boy will have you clutching your pearls with the nasty shit he'll say (you love it)

Late night convos, this boy will text you at 3am not for a booty call but just to talk to you

He's more of an emotional booty call than just sexual, he'll come to you when he's stressed or upset

Don't get me wrong, he'll fuck your brains out but expect lots of pillow talk, especially if he's been drinking

Takes you out for coffee, will buy you breakfast, insists to his friends he isn't dating you since he doesn't take you out at night

You're the only one he's fucking, though he flirts a lot

If he runs into you at a club and you're dancing with someone else, God help you

He won't be mean just stupid charming, doing his best to lure you away for a night of crazy sex

If it doesn't work though, he'll be high key salty, pouty, whiny

You'll get texts until daylight because he'll keep drinking, imagining you with someone else

He might show up at your door at 6am, shitfaced, honestly

"Did you bring that clown home? No, I'm not jealous, I just wanted to talk to you."

You're weak so you let him in and he spends all day at your place recovering from his hangover

He will only admit he's caught feelings if you do first or if he thinks you're getting serious with someone else

If you go on dates he'll pick a fight with you about nothing and when you're yelling at him he'll just kiss you senseless.

"I love you, ok?"

You start dating him before you even know what's happening the smartass manipulative little shit

Jin

The biggest fuckboi of the group don't @me

He's a pro at this

After he got cheated on all his relationships are fwb arrangements and they always catch feelings first

Not you, though, you know he's a fuckboi and you know what you're in for

This boy will make you laugh during sex he's never serious he'll make you come while you're giggling over some stupid shit he said

Sexts, sexts, sexts

He will never stop dirty texting you while you're in an inappropriate place like work or dinner with your family

God forbid you tell him you're going on a date, then dick pics and sexts galore

He's not jealous, he's territorial, he wants to be the best you've ever had (he is but you would die before you'd admit that)

This boy is not even a little exclusive with you, at least not at first

He'd invite you over to meet his friends and be shook at how well you fit in

You start playing video games with Jungkook and when Kookie starts looking at you with stars in his eyes Jin goes all possessive puppy

All over you at all times he's not ashamed of you he just isn't ready for a relationship

Like Namjoon he will use you for emotional comfort too, although his pillow talk will be mostly jokes and flirting

Your convos don't get too serious unless he's had WAY too much to drink

Then he tells you about his ex and shit gets real for a second before he wakes up the next morning his flirty self again

He gradually stops texting the other booty calls he has on lock, just telling himself you're better in bed, that's all

Finds out you have another fwb when he comes to your house at 3am drunk

He is SO salty, there is less salt in the Pacific ocean

He's whiny and pouty and shading the other dude constantly

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous I'm just wondering why you bother with him, he's ugly."

But if he hung out with you and the other guy would not let on ONE bit. Makes friends with him, I easy going even if he's a bit touchy feely with you

But low-key stares at you like a kicked puppy when no one is paying attention

His friends are all like "what did you do to him?"

YOUR friends are like "what'd you do to him he looks so heartbroken"

He only admits to catching feelings when you get so fed up you say it's done and you are over it

He gets mean when he sees you with the other guy on a real date and says some cruel shit

You are D O N E

Block his number done

He will 100% show up drunk at your house

He's cute so you let him in and he really does look like a kicked puppy

Honest with you for the first time bc he's scared of losing you

"I still don't know if I can trust anyone enough for a relationship but you make me wanna try it. Don't cut me out."

Yoongi (Suga)

He would only agree to a fwb arrangement if he had some feelings for you

He's not the type to fuck around with a girl he can't see himself dating

Definitely the fuck and run type at first zero pillow talk

Absolute master with his hands and fingers LORD

Not too vocal during sex but it makes him crazy when you are if you want him to nut fast you just gotta moan his name

Won't say anything non sexual unless he's drinking even then it's low key like "You look pretty tonight."

Texts you for booty calls like "hey dumbass wyd"

Will not take you for coffee or be seen in public with you, bc he's worried you're ashamed of him, not the other way around. Otherwise why wouldn't you date him?

You have no clue he likes you. Absolutely none he barely talks to you unless he's horny

He loves it when you booty call him he's so smiley and sweet when that happens

He's so soft to you when you get too drunk at his house party and throw up

He sits behind you as you hug the toilet and strokes your hair for hours

You're shocked to wake up in his bed since he has a strict no overnights rule

Scolds you for drinking so much but brings you breakfast in bed and is low-key a sweetheart through your hangover

You: shook. Your heart: full

You don't tell him you're seeing other people until he point blank asks you. When you say yes, he just nods

"Good we always use condoms then."

Will ignore you and be kind of a dick when he finds out but that's not uncommon so you are still oblivious

If you wait on him to admit to catching feelings you will die waiting

Only one way you will find out

One of his dumbass friends lets something slip when they're drunk (It's probably Jin)

You're complaining about how he's ignoring you at the party

"Bitch he's so whipped for you his lockscreen is your selfie."

You cannot believe it

You think it's bullshit

You end up sleeping in Jungkook's room that night bc you fell asleep whupping his ass at Mortal Kombat

The next morning somebody is slamming every door in the house and throwing dishes around.

Jungkook's door is open so he saw you cuddled up to the maknae

He big mad

When you finally get him to talk about it (probably days later)

"I just don't want you fucking my friends it's messy."

You only find out the lockscreen shit is true when you grab his phone by accident

He knows you know he fucking BAILS

Books it outta your life for like a week

The only way you pin him down is by texting him a paragraph about how you like him too

He kisses you so sweet when you see him next and he's all smiles and affectionate

You're dating now, that's it, no need for discussion

RIP Kookie tho he'll never trust him again despite you telling him a thousand times nothing happened

Hoseok (J-Hope)

He agrees because he is literally down for anything

Definitely a good time this boy is so much fun in bed

Will try anything once and I mean ANYTHING

You wanna tie him up? Definitely. You want him to eat whipped cream off your tiddies? Tell him when and where

The world's biggest switch don't @me

Has a thing for public sex, loves to finger you on a dance floor

Y'all do everything together, everyone thinks you're just dating

He's a big goofball with you in public, v affectionate

He's your best friend and you're his

Y'all don't take anything seriously when one of you is upset you text each other dumb selfies and fuck it out next time you hang out

Never drunk dials you you won't even know he's out until you see him on the dancefloor with some girl

Y'all compete to see who can dirty dance with the most people before you go home together

Feelings? He's never heard of them

Least likely of all the boys to catch feelings first

Would take him FOREVER to realize he actually likes you

I'm talking y'all have been fucking for MONTHS before he catches on

If he gets jealous he'll just think it's bc he's competitive

If you make him sad by not hanging out with him he'll think he just wants the attention

Feelings hit him like a brick when he finally realizes

You're in his car jamming to his latest track and you're singing and dancing like a fool with your hair flipping around and all of a sudden it's like the sun shines only on you

The boy is SHOOK

He gets real quiet

Scary quiet

You think he's mad but when you ask him he blows you off with a smile saying he's tired

You don't hear from him for a couple of days

He's pacing around his place and trying to process, talking to friends and trying to decide what to do

Everyone tells him to just tell you ofc

Confident boy is not used to feeling insecure he's hesitant.

"What if she doesn't love me back?"

There's no dramatic reveal

He really just asks you on a date

A REAL one

Nothing much changes, honestly, he has always been your bff and being your bf is just a bonus

[spookyold-saintjm]

Aaaa saw you were taking requests. Reader x Wilford where the reader hates Christmas bc it's never been fun, so Wilf makes it fun for them???

OKAY SO I had been working on a longer piece for a WHILE now that I was gonna post that has a very similar element so I’ll just post it here. Hopefully that’s okay! It’s technically Dark x reader but it’s a lot of Wilford being an absolute cinnamon roll baby too so. Enjoy x

Spirit of the Season

Darkiplier x reader, platonic!Wilford x reader

Warnings: alcohol consumption

Word Count: 2,239

—

You frowned at Dark from across the room. His back was to you, but you glared at his face reflected in the mirror that he stood in front of to adjust his tie. 

“So you’re really going to work today instead of helping me decorate.” You tilted your head, waiting for an answer. 

Dark let out a soft sigh, but you saw the flicker of exasperation in his eyes when he looked back at you in the mirror. “Darling, I have things much less…juvenile to take care of today.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “The holidays aren’t juvenile. They’re about coming together and enjoying being with people you care about,” you replied, crossing your arms. 

“…You know my feelings for you.” Dark replied, staring back at you flatly. 

“That’s not the—“ you dropped your hands to your sides, letting out a short breath. “You know what, never mind. I’ll do it myself.” 

You stormed out of your shared bedroom, taking a moment to close your eyes and take in a deep breath once you stood alone in the long hallway.  

God forbid you and Dark spend time together. There were the occasional dinners, the nights spent wide awake under the sheets when he hungered for the feeling of your body beneath his own…

Beyond that, you hadn’t even seen him all that much lately. Maybe it was sufficient for him, but for you it was only enough to bring tears to your eyes. You missed him. 

You’d made efforts to get him involved in the holiday hype, telling him more than once about the day you’d set aside for decorating the house, and when he’d replied with short nods and small smiles of affirmation, you’d assumed that meant he was going to be there to help when the day came around. 

Now you were realizing how wrong you were. He likely hadn’t even given it a second thought. 

You wiped the corners of your eyes, and with another deep breath turned to head down the hall, then down the staircase that led into the room you’d planned to decorate, the boxes of sparkling red, green, silver and gold stacked against the far wall. A few were things that had been lying around from previous years spent there, others from the shopping trip you’d taken a few days prior and loaded up on everything you could possibility need to bring the holiday spirit into the house. You were new to this place, and you wanted to make it special. And you decided you would, with or without Dark’s help. 

You weren’t working for too long before you felt another presence in the room, well, heard another presence, anyways. A heavy thud followed by a string of cursing caused you to spin around, nearly falling off the step stool you stood on to assemble the tree in the corner of the room. 

“Who put these damned boxes in th—oh, y/n!” Wilford grinned up at you, flipping away the hair that had fallen in his face when he’d nearly tripped over one of the decoration boxes. “What’re you up to over there, my friend?” 

“Hey, Wil,” you answered lightly. You stepped back down onto the floor. and looked over to him as you dusted off your hands. “I was just doing some decorating. It’s that time of year, you know.” 

“Oh, do I ever!” Wiford’s grin broadened as he looked down excitedly at the contents inside the boxes you’d now spread throughout the room. You couldn’t help but smile a bit at the light sparkling in his eyes. 

“Say, I figured ol’ Darky-boy would be with you today?” he asked with a tilt of his head.  

Your smile instantly dropped. You shrugged and turned your head to pretend to search for something in another box, hoping that he hadn’t seen the sudden shift in your posture as the thought of your morning with Dark came flooding back. “Not today, he’s…he’s busy.” 

You could have sworn Wilford paused for a beat to consider before replying. “Well that’s a shame, he’s going to miss out on all the fun we’re going to have!”  

“…what kind of fun?” you asked, unsure of what he meant. 

Wilford gestured to the boxes surrounding the both of you as if it were obvious. “Well there’s no way you can do all this by yourself, right? Where do you want me to start?!”  

He was practically jumping out of his skin with excitement, and this time your smile remained on your lips when you answered him. “I was just getting ready to decorate the tree.” 

— 

“How does it look?”  

“A little to the left.” 

“So here?“ 

“OTHER left, Wil!” 

You withheld the giggle threatening to escape your lips, half-worried that if you laughed any more in one day your lungs would give out. You stood behind Wilford as he was perched on one of the higher rungs of a ladder, attempting to hang a large wreath over the stone fireplace on the opposite side of the room. 

“Riiiiight….there! Okay stop! I SAID STOP!”  

“I DID STOP!” Wilford shouted back at you, nearly losing his balance as he, too, started to laugh again. He, carefully as he could, placed a hook, then eventually the wreath itself, onto the wall.  

About half an hour into your decorating, you both had decided it was also a good time to break out some of the wine you’d bought a few days prior. It had originally been reserved for your next dinner with Dark but…well, when would that even be, anyways? 

Wilford rushed down the ladder to take a few steps back and stood next to you to look at his work. He dramatically flipped his head, flinging the white ball of the Santa hat he was now wearing to the back of his head.  

“Looks good!” You stated with an approving nod. 

“Looks great!” Wilford replied, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, only slightly stumbling when he did so. “We make a great decorating team. Say, we should start our own business! We’d make a fortune, I mean look at this place!“ 

You nodded, your head swiveling around the room with a warm sense of satisfaction. “You’re a genius! We’ll get started right away, you know, when my vision isn’t, uh, doing what it’s doing.”  

You rubbed your eyes in a vain effort to knock out the faint swimming of your vision. “Actually.,.” you quickly added, “I’m gonna sit down for a sec. I’m a little dizzy.” 

Wilford chuckled and followed you as you collapsed back onto the couch and took a moment to close your eyes. You let out a quiet sigh when you opened them again, slowly admiring the warm glow of the room once more, now covered in lights and colors, stars and snowflakes, candy canes and snowmen. 

You noticed Wilford doing the same just before he turned his head toward you, his own eyes slightly foggy from the wine. “Did you used to do this sort of thing…where you’re from? Where you grew up?” 

“Well…” you shook your head slowly. “Actually, no. My family, well, ‘kind of’ family I guess, didn’t really do this sort of thing. Ever.” 

A small frown appeared on Wilford’s face. “Well, that’s no fun at all.” 

You shrugged. “It never bothered me too much. But I wanted to…give it a try this year. There were just times when…I don’t know, is it weird to miss something you’ve never had?” 

“Hm,” Wilford considered, scratching his chin and staring up at the ceiling in thought. “I don’t think so.” 

“Thanks,” you replied. You smiled slightly at him. “Thanks for making me feel more welcome here. Dark wasn’t sure me being here was the best idea at first…” 

You paused, wishing you hadn’t brought up Dark. The pain of feeling so distant from him lately began to poke at your stomach. You reached for the wine glass you’d set down onto the side table next to you. 

Fortunately, Wilford cut in. “Are you kidding?! Everyone adores you! Things were starting to get a little boring around here, and that’s the last thing we need. Besides, you put ol’ Darky in a much better mood.” 

“I’m not so sure about that right now. He…” you put the glass to your lips and took a sip of the warm liquid before you could keep going. “He hasn’t been…around, lately.” 

“Oh, he can be an absolute ass, of course!” Wilford replied, curling the tip of his mustache around two of his fingers, “But give him time to come back around. He has his reasons." 

You put the glass back down on the table and nodded slightly. “I hope you’re right, Wil. Thanks.” 

“S’what friends are for, y/n,” he grinned, wrapping you into a quick, tight hug. 

The two of you sat for a few more moments, enjoying the last of your wine and planning what you might do to decorate other rooms in the house, when a faint ringing suddenly registered in your ears. Which could only mean one thing. One person, to be specific. 

“Oh, hell, here he comes.” Wilford muttered. 

Dark stepped from around the corner, a faint black mist trailing behind him but quickly vanishing as his full form materialized into the room. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the sight of a very tipsy you with a very tipsy Wilford.

“Helloo, old friend!” Wilford waved at him lazily. “Care to join us?” he picked up the bottle resting on the coffee table and gave it a slight shake. “I think we’ve finished off most of this one,” he looked to another bottle, “and ah, well that one is long gone, but there’s—“ 

“No.” Dark’s voice was low when he finally spoke. His eyes met yours, and you felt like you could shatter on the spot. “y/n, a moment?” 

Wilford quickly rose from his seat, turning to you for the quickest moment with a slight, reassuring smile and a sly wink. 

“Alright, I can take a hint. I’m going, I’m going! Don’t worry, pal.” Wilford made his way across the room, patting Dark on the shoulder before stumbling around the corner into the next room. Dark visibly stiffened at the touch, but said nothing until Wilford’s footsteps had faded into silence.  

You hadn’t moved other than to stand from the couch. The room should have been tilting and wobbling around you, but seeing Dark, being in the room with him again had somehow sobered you enough to make your vision clear as ever. Yet you felt frozen in place as his stare seemed to hold you down in the spot. 

“I see you had some…help, today.” Dark stated. His eyes quickly flickered around the room before meeting yours again. 

“I did,” you replied carefully. “Did you finish your work?" 

“No.” 

“Oh.” 

A beat of silence passed between you, but before you could think of something else to say, Dark was near you, one of his hands grasping one of yours. 

“Sit down,” he commanded. You nodded and returned to the couch, Dark following to sit down beside you. Your bodies turned toward each other, Dark let out a slow, heavy sigh. 

“y/n” he started, “I know I haven’t been…near, lately.” You straightened, preparing for wherever this might go. 

But Dark’s voice was unusually quiet, oddly gentle, when he continued. “I have been at war with my mind, with…” he paused, searching for words, “with whatever semblance of a heart I may have left. And in my struggle to face what has overcome me, I have been vastly unfair to you, someone I swore to protect not only in their time of need, but far beyond.” 

Your own heart was now thundering inside your chest, your stomach in knots. “Dark, please just tell me what you’re trying to say,” you muttered, closing your eyes and shaking your head. “I can’t—“ 

“I love you, y/n. I think I’ve loved you for some time now.” Dark’s hands again reached for yours, pulling them onto his lap. “I didn’t know what it was, I don’t understand how in this body I can feel this. But I know I do. And I understand if, after all this time, you wouldn’t feel the same…” 

Maybe it was the wine, but you went against all instinct and all but threw yourself onto him, your lips connecting in a long, slow, silent kiss. You had one hand tangled into his hair while the other rested on the back of his neck; his arms wrapped around your body, his hands pressed on your back and urged you closer.

“I love you, Dark. I do. Of course I do,” you muttered, resting your forehead against his once your lips had parted. “I’ve loved you for so long.” 

You stayed like that, for how long you weren’t certain, each taking in the closeness of the other. When you finally pulled away after a final, softer, kiss, you slowly reached down into the floor, where a small box contained a large, gold star.

“Do you…” you tilted your eyes up to meet Dark’s, almost embarrassed to ask at this point. “I saved this, for the top of the tree, in case you, maybe…" 

In a rare moment, Dark smiled at you. “I would be honored, my love." 

—

taglist: @veryobsessivefan thanks for the motivation to finally finish this lol @aheistwithyaboi @wilfords-pink-afro thought you might enjoy this :)

[presleepthoughts]

Hi dude :) if you're still taking prompts, I have one! All of Chloe's relationships with all the guys she's dating go south bc of her and beca's "platonic" relationship

Sorry, I haven’t written this story until now. I had it in my inbox for a few months. But I’m trying to get back into the swing of things and start writing again frequently. 

I hope you like it because I had a fun time with it. Thanks for the request.

This may have been the third or the fourth time this has happened. The first two times was in a coffee shop, the third was in a movie theater (which was more awkward then when her father showed up to Christmas with her new girlfriend unannounced last year) and now in a restaurant. 

Chloe is possibly buzzing in front of her with excitement and Beca can’t possibly understand why. 

It became a routine of some sort. Chloe would date a guy for a month or two before inviting Beca along to “get to know” him. They would sit there silently while Chloe chatted along, trading stories back and forth about them to the other. Beca would dutifully observe the guy and at the end of the day would give her opinion. 

Usually a bad one.

 And for some bizarre reason, the guy wouldn’t last for another week. 

Chloe’s smile can’t be bigger when the guy finally shows up and Beca grimaces when she kisses him deeply. He’s tall, blonde with blue eyes, masculine with broad shoulders. Basically a walking Ken doll. And Beca can’t even deny the fact that they look good together.

He introduces himself as Colton before they sit down and Beca tries to smile. 

“So, umm…” She speaks up, trying to think of one of the questions she usually asks. “What do you do?” 

He answers with a nod. “I’m a professional surfer.” 

Of course he is. Beca snickers internally but keeps a straight face. 

Chloe grins and pats his arm, before turning her attention to Beca. The waiter walks up to the table and the three of them grab the menus. Beca orders some pasta, keeping it simple but before Chloe can open her mouth Colton interrupts her with a smile. Beca notices his hand disappear under the table and probably settling on Chloe’s thigh. 

“I’ll get it, babe.” He says with a charming smile, way too confident.

Beca would crawl out his eyes. She hates when people try to order for her. Jesse tried to do it one time, in some kind of lame attempt to be romantic but when Beca “joked” that she would stab him with a fork, he stopped. 

His eyes skips along the menu before he turns to the waiter. “She’ll have a shrimp salad - “

“She’s allergic to shrimp.” Beca says unexpectedly and Colton frowns slightly at her. 

“Tomato soup.”

“Hates it.”

“BTL?” Now the question mark at the end of the sentence amuses Beca. It just means he lost his confidence. 

Beca frowns judgingly. “Dude, she’s a vegetarian.” She suddenly questions if he actually knew Chloe or if it’s their first time meeting. 

The guys looks ashamed for a second before nodding. “Right, right, I always forgot.” He grins clumsily at Chloe like he’s trying to play it off as goofiness and Beca’s jaw clenches when Chloe smiles back uncomfortable, forgiving him in an instance. 

Beca may not be the best at expression her feelings for people, especially to her friends but she won’t let anybody take advantage of them either. Chloe’s an amazing person, who’s compassionate and loving - sometimes too much for her own good - and it attracts douchebags like that jellyfish eater in front of her. She just opens her mouth to unleash some perfectly crafted sarcastic comments on his ass when Chloe’s hand sneak across the table and settles on her hand. 

Beca’s eyes shifts to her and scrunches up her nose when Chloe’s eyes practically beg her to stay quiet. Beca doesn’t miss Colton’s eyes zeroing on the action. She raises her eyebrows in amusement and throws gasoline on the fire by turning Chloe’s hand over and swiftly intertwining their fingers. Chloe’s brows draws together but she smiles pleasantly at the surprise.

The waiter’s subtle cough makes them realize where they are and Chloe lets go of her hand before smiles apologetically at him. “Sorry, I’ll just have the house salad. Without tomato, please.” 

The boyfriend - Beca wants to gag - orders bass with potato chips. Can he actually live without the ocean or is he a mermaid? Either way, Beca longs to throw him back. 

“Aright, Beca. What do you do?” He asks with a light tone, pretending that he can still manage to turn this thing around. Beca’s ready to prove him wrong.

She purses her lips together. “I’m a music producer.” She keeps the answer short. 

“Cool.” He nods, his bottom lip in a pout like he’s impressed. “What studio? Maybe I’ve heard of them.”

Chloe chimes in. “She’s freelancing at the moment.” Colton looks at her before turning back to Beca.

Beca’s jaw clenches at the reminder. “Yeah, my last job didn’t really work out like I’d hope it would.” 

Colton nods and Beca notices his arm moving up and down Chloe’s thighs and she wants him to stop. 

“It must be hard not having a job right now. Especially in this century where being financial stable is the most important thing.” He explains and Beca fights  the urge to wait until he’s finished. “Plus, I wouldn’t imagine that spinning records would quite pay the bills.”

“Yeah because surfing on water is a stable job. God forbid there’s a shark and - “

“Yay, the food is here!” Chloe jumps in before Beca could continue but the brunette’s eyes flashes with fire as she swallows her words. Chloe gently kicks her in the shin and warns her through her eyes to play nice. Beca takes a deep breath and keeps her mouth shut, only speaking when spoken to for the rest of the dinner.

“Shut up.” 

These are Chloe’s first words when the pair walks through the door at the end of the day. Beca grins teasingly at her and she can see that Chloe’s trying to hold back a smile as well. 

“I didn’t say anything.” Beca protests as she takes off her shoes and falls back on the couch, watching Chloe from the living room. 

Chloe points an accusing finger at her as she rounds the couch and settles beside Beca. “But I know you want to. I know you too well.” But she’s smiling and Beca takes that as a good sight. 

Silence wraps around them for a second before Beca makes her last comment.

“Did you fish him out or somethi - “ 

She let’s out a belly laugh when a pillow hits her square in the face. 

The End.

[cold-iron-burns]

We're living with my partner's family. He and his brothers all have (what is obv to me as an ex MH pro) heavy signs of emotional abuse. They are all back living with their parents (economy is a factor for sure, but their trauma reactions are a massive factor in this case) and one of them was never able to leave (imho there's a ton of completely untreated MI and unsupported autism here and it makes me feel devastated on their behalf that they were/are prevented from getting support; my partner only started getting support for his shit after like a year of letting him know that it's okay and he's not weak for asking for help--and he could reach that place only because he was away from his family for a while and during the initial couple years we were together).

Being in this house is keeping us off the street, but I'm no stranger to emotional abuse; I spent decades in therapy trying to fix my own family of origin abuse and medical neglect (and the two degrees I got trying to pass it forward).

I try to stay out of the way, invisible, which is basically how I spent my childhood (though I am not expected to be their maid, which is different and makes -relatively- pleasant in comparison). When I first moved in here almost a year ago I tried to engage, just to get shut down and shit on about how everything I did wasn't what the father or the other brothers wanted. Provide and prepare a meal? "I don't like this kind of tortilla." "This isn't the brand I eat" "Yes I like shrimp but I don't want to eat it every week!!" (specific foods are a common thing, which I'd be cool with if anyone owned their autism [I'm autistic too, not shitting on situation people here, just lamenting that the entire household is like this and just learned passive aggression as their main communication style and have no idea or don't care that it's kinda garbage to just complain but not, idk, offer any of that info ahead of time or have an actual conversation, even in text, to clarify anything? It's honestly just the delivery/passive aggressive shit that gets me, it's how my mom raised me and I spent fuckin' 20 years unlearning it] where was I? I cleaned wrong (and not bc cleaner choice, I hate strong chemicals), I cooked wrong, buying my partner's mom flowers emasculated his father, apparently wrong (no one has bothered to replace the now months-dead flowers, even though the ones I bought and prepped a few times made her actually fucking smile and talk). So I just fucking stopped trying. It's bad enough that even when they're not being shitty my brain likes to pop flashbacks of csa (mostly bc the father, I can handle the brothers in reasonable doses). Intellectually I'm fairly sure I'm safe, but the parts that remember that stuff can't rely on things like people/adult parts telling them they're safe.

My partner's mom is very sick (which honestly I relate to the above factors, imho she's just ready to check tf out after being a domestic slave; I want to be more supportive of her but honestly I kept getting attacked and I have to take care of me), so this year the men were scrambling to figure out food for Thanksgiving. My partner tried to initiate planning weeks ago, because he knows that they're terrible at this kind of thing. Didn't matter, they still waited until Tuesday the week of to call cracker barrel to cater; of course that didn't work bc that's not how any of this works.

Who planned, sourced, bought, prepared the food? Me and my partner, ofc. But one of them bought a ham and they all fought while prepping it, so I guess they're the saviors of Thanksgiving.

Had to get or make two versions of a bunch of things bc god fuckin forbid they have to eat the GF things that make me less sick. Other households adapt, but sugar and wheat are basically what they live on, so I'm just slowly putting together a mini kitchen in my and my partner's living space (there's no running water, so kudos to him for running 3 gallon containers most every day so I don't have to deal with the men).

Sweet potato, half marshmallow half the way I wanted it (because I'm fucking eating this food too?)

"Ugh, is that coconut? WhO eAtS cOcOnUt On SwEeT pOtaToEs?!?!" This man is like 70, y'all, and he acts like a mean lil brat and everyone just bows to him like he's their fuckin warlock patron.

Who eats coconut on sweet potatoes? The person who decided to buy the fucking sweet potatoes. I'm grateful to my partner for actually putting the topping onto them, because the ire was directed at him and not me. His response was a champion "Half is just marshmallow." Deadpan. Factual, obvious, fuckin statement.

When leaving other partners I realized I missed their family more than I did them (there was one in particular that made me overcome my hatred of holidays while we were together) but this relationship is completely different. Great partner, garbage family.

I wanted to just vent, but also to applaud myself for just not engaging with bullshit or trying to justify anything (in fear I tend to go into lengthy overjustification mode). I waited until everyone got a plate and left, went in the kitchen to get my plate, and fucking went back to the basement (that my partner and I are trying to shape into a workshop and is mostly boxes of shit they haven't looked at in 15 years with our shit on top of them but at least they don't come down here now). I watched youtube. Ate the food my partner and I made. Enjoyed my solitude. As I told my partner, solitude is safety. I didn't force myself to sit at a table with grown ass men who just bitch about everything to be berated about my decisions that had to be made last minute because of their inability to do anything domestic.

If I wanted to sit at a table and smile and nod while getting my head bitten off I'd have called up my family of origin.

Not ideal circumstances, but I took care of myself today. I don't even care if they think I'm a selfish bitch. I'm 36 and I'm finally starting to do things for myself that prevent suffering instead of just having to patch myself up post-abuse.

[imaginegfriend]

gfriend as your girlfriends: [ 🦊 sowon 🦊 ]

g e n r e: f — for fluff

HOW YOU GUYS BEGAN DATING:

you were hanging out with her and the girls at the dorm one night

they had all gotten back from a schedule and you and umji were cooking a meal for everybody bc they were all tired but umji is the only one who would help lol

and sowon runs over to you showing you a picture that she had taken of you from across a table previously on her phone saying “i’m such a good photographer look you look so cute!”

you grabbed her phone and smiled, agreeing with her and sending the photo to yourself. “oh is this from that cafe we went to last weekend? i didn’t know you were taking pictures, creep.” she laughed and slapped you on the arm, “yeah i take almost everybody i know there, it’s the best one around here to go to.”

umji interjected (since she was right there anyways), setting down her cooking utensil with an accusing look on her face, “you never took me there!”

following that, a round of “me either!”s came from the living room and a special comment from sinb: “why do you always take ______ to the good places? is she your favorite or something?”

sowon snatched her phone back with a nervous laugh and a rose color stained on her cheeks, turning around to face everyone else, “shut up! you guys don’t know how to behave and that’s why i never take you to the good places.”

later on, as the mood started to settle and everybody was getting tired from their stomachs being filled to the brim and playing around with each other all night, you were preparing to sleep on the couch as sowon walked in while tying her hair on a bun

“you know you don’t have to sleep on the couch every time, right?” sowon suggested, taking the spare blanket you laid on the couch and beginning to walk back toward her room. “i know the bed isn’t that big but you could at least sleep with me.”

you shrugged and followed her quietly and climbed into her bed directly after she did. both of you were facing one another and she chewed her bottom lip, something obviously on her mind.

“you know how i always buy you those things?” she broke the silence with a whisper as you nodded, suddenly feeling guilty; you never wanted her to, but she always insisteid on you taking her gifts. “like the purses and jewelry and stuff that i always hear you talking about?

“yeah, what about them?” you asked, nervous to hear where she was going with this. she reached for your hand under the covers and your body instantly warmed up.

a shaky sigh left sowon’s lips as she began speaking again, “i’ve just been thinking... and you might not get what i’m trying to say but, maybe you are my favorite. and i know you’re close with all of us, but i was hoping that i was your favorite too?”

she was right; you didn’t get what she was trying to say. of course she was your favorite, you spent most of your time with her; she didn’t see that? “i’m asking you if.. you would want to be with me?” she whispered lower this time, but you still heard her.

 you smiled softly and brought your interlocked hands up to your lips, kissing her knuckles, “well, duh. i was wondering when you were gonna stop fawning over me long enough to ask.”

she tried her hardest to hold her laugh in so she didn’t wake anybody else up as she slapped your arm, just like earlier before pulling you in for a soft, sleepy kiss.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER:

if you’re taller than her, she’s really excited about that because she’s used to being one of the tallest people wherever she goes

when she tries to flirt with you she says “i’m gonna climb you like a tree”

if you’re shorter than her she calls you her little oompa loompa even though you hate it but she thinks its endearing

she even told you to dye your hair green once

and you call her rice krispie because her bones are always snapping, crackling, and popping

she still spoils you like there’s no tomorrow, esp. during a comeback or during awards season because she feels bad that her already minuscule time with you becomes even smaller

she tries to take you on cute, secret dates to low-profile restaurants that have amazing food

but it ends up being less romantic than it is hilarious because she sends her food back 5 times before fully eating it then leaves a rating for it on a napkin

and obviously since she has $$$ but she’s still a scammer she negotiates getting the food for a cheaper price since she had to send it back so many times

since she’s mostly busy during the day, she calls you up late at night to do weird shit like go tandem-bike riding in a park or do an ikea scavenger hunt for your future apartment

“aren’t your old, brittle bones too fragile to be riding bikes sojung?” “okay you’re being really ageist right now so i’ll call you back when you can respect your elders.”

drops hints about wanting to live with you and having a future with you all. the. time.

like she’s always sending you links to sleek apartments for sale with a “👀” attached

she’s used to taking care of everybody else but she loves when you guys are all alone and she’s tired from practice or a schedule and you take care of her for once, cuddling her and running your fingers through her hair

even so, she still catches herself having those moments where she acts like an overbearing mother: “don’t forget to wear a jacket today because if you catch a cold all you’re going to get from me is a hot bowl of ‘i told you so’ noodle soup”

and she would be petty enough to buy alphabet soup and make sure to spell out ‘i told you so’ with the letters

she hates when you hang out with sinb, yuju, and umji for a full day because you always come back to her acting like this

but honestly you could say the same thing about her

she knows she’s sexy but gets super flustered if you tell her that she looks good in something; if she tells you though, and you get flustered, she keeps saying it until you vocally acknowledge how good you look

wont allow you to say you’re cuter than her but she’s allowed to do it whenever she wants

“ugh i look so good today, you could never” “i already did... and twice yesterday”

she always talks about romcoms that you guys watch together on vlive and her face goes like 😧 when people comment stuff like “why are you watching so many romcoms lately are you in love lmao”

then she changes the subject

and one day while they’re at a hotel, yerin walks in their room saying “y/n’s on the phone for yooouuuu” in a teasing voice bc she didn’t know sowon was on vlive

and thats how you guys ended up going public lol but sowon wasn’t upset because even though the members and the company knew, she got tired of lying to everyone else

after this she tries to go everywhere with you to show you off because why wouldn’t she?

the other members refer to you guys as the senior citizen couple because you never want to do anything fun and are homebodies

and you feel bad because you’re the homebody and sowon is the extrovert but you always convince her to stay with you lmao

if you guys are able to spend your anniversaries together, she takes you somewhere in europe for a weekend because she thinks its romantic and obviously she loves the food

and she wants to spend the whole day sightseeing together but STILL wants to be up all night talking to you. halfway through she ends up talking to herself though because you fell asleep lmao

the last day she tries to be extremely romantic to make up for dragging you around the whole time (even though you didnt mind) with breakfast for 2 in bed and a warm bath together with rose petals and stuff in it

if you guys are apart because she’s in a different country or she just can’t see you that day, you guys try to text all day but her heart breaks when she hears how sad your voice is over video chat

when you call some other famous person that you’ll literally never meet in a million years cute she gets jealous. like really jealous

“yeah they’re cute but cute is always going to get demolished next to gorgeous. like they’re cute but they’re not me or anything”

when you meet her family they love you because they say they thought she would never find anybody as crazy as her and she’s like “what do you mean crazy?”

when you guys finally move into an apartment together, she insists on you guys and the members moving the boxes because she wants to prove to you that her bones aren’t weak and fragile

halfway through she’s sitting in the bedroom on the lone mattress ordering a moving team and a some food because she can’t take it anymore

oh yeah you guys finally got to go on that ikea scavenger hunt lol and it’s a relatively cheap store but she managed to pick out the most expensive things in there

almost everyday she wakes up to you about to burn the entire apartment down because “i just wanted to make you breakfast because you’ve been so tired lately”

and she tells you that she’s going to put padlocks on the drawers in the kitchen and the fridge if you can’t manage boiling water without evaporating it on the stove

“i think meonji likes me better than you” “i like you better than me too”

sometimes you guys just stand in the middle of the living room, holding each other and looking into each others eyes and kissing a little

she still gets upset if she sees rice krispies and/or rice krispie treats in the cabinets and she’ll hide them from you

ever since her first fashion show she tries to put together your outfits because she thinks she’s a high fashion mogul now

“we’re just going grocery shopping why do i need to get this dressed up?” “do you want to embarrass me in front of the fashion world? they’re always watching.”

you catch her introducing the products she’s using in the mirror all the time like she’s a beauty guru on youtube

and god forbid she gets a little alcohol in her she’s like sojung 10.0

her hands are everywhere on you and she’s saying stuff to you thats making you go 😧

and those are the times you’re thankful that you have your own place together lmao

“but sojung don’t you think the other girls would want me to watch their fancams too?” “oh i wasn’t aware we were in a polyamorous relationship”

if you guys get into a big argument she’ll impulsively grab a pillow and a blanket from your room and try to sleep on the couch but halfway through the night she climbs in bed with you anyways

“don’t think i’m not still mad at you but this is half my bed too” and then you both apologize in the morning because going to bed mad is the worst thing ever

she almost jokingly doesn’t accept your apology because you tried to make her breakfast again

she’s corny and cute so she got you guys promise rings

“i know i can’t marry you right now but i definitely want to spend the rest of my life with you. if you want to do the same with me.. promise me?”

of course you said yes.

and now she can’t stop taking those pictures where her hand is always in the frame so everybody can see the ring

a/n: okay so i know the first part is kinda like a fic instead of just short or medium length bullet points but i didnt realize that until after i finished so i think i’ll just do the “how you guys began dating” section like that for all the girls

[maynardtrash]

The List~Oli White

A/N: ya girl’s back and better than ever bc i moved and now im p settled minus the fact that some of my stuff is back at my old place but i have a bed food and wifi and thats all that matters. btw this is sort of different from my usual writing style so i hope you guys like it especially the person who requested it

     Jack, Connor, Josh, and Oli were making the usual challenge video. This time it was a good old game of Would You Rather. As they played, Oli had revealed he had never met up with a girl he matched with on Tinder. When he said this, the cogs in Conor’s head began to turn. Never a good idea. As time went on, Conor compiled a list of things Oli did not drink to.

      After filming, Conor went to his brother, Jack. He smirked, and Jack’s eye widened. “What’s up?” Jack asked suspiciously.

     “I think Oli needs our help.” Though the brothers were a year apart, they had a type of twin telepathy. Jack’s eyes immediately lit up. As the night went on, the boys came up with a plan. Oli was an especially trusting friend, a little too trusting at times. Unfortunately he was so trusting all of his friends knew his passcode. When Oli was busy in his kitchen, Jack and Conor went to work. They went through his matches, trying to find the perfect girl.

     “What about her?” Conor asked as his brother searched through.

     “This one?” Jack asked. “(Y/N)? Yeah she’s cute. Good job, funny bio. Yeah let’s message her.” They went to work, somewhat catfishing her. But they got to their goal. They set up a date with her at a local cafe that Friday. “Now how do we get Oli there?” Jack asked.

Oli’s POV

     I continued to switch my attention from my phone to the door. “They should have been here by now,” I thought. I was supposed to meet up with Jack and Conor fifteen minutes ago. Then I saw a familiar stranger. I had matched with her on Tinder about a week ago, but I was too nervous to say anything. She looked around the room, then her eyes settled on me. Her face lit up and she waved in my direction. I looked around, making sure she was waving to me, confirmed it, then waved back. She began to approach my table, and I approached an anxiety attack. I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t know I’d see any of my Tinder matches here, let alone her. I normally like my Tinder matches like my nuclear explosions: the farther away, the safer I feel.

     “Oli!” she exclaimed. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

     “Uh, yeah...” I replied, still very confused. “You too.”

     “After not starting a conversation, I was worried we would never speak.”

     “Pardon?”

     “Are we not having a lunch date today? I normally come into this cafe on my break so I may have gotten the dates confused. If so, I’m terribly sorry.”

     “No, it’s fine! I was just waiting for-” I began to say, when everything clicked. I wasn’t here to have lunch with Jack and Conor. I was there for her. Those bellends. “I was just waiting for you. You were a little late and I began to worry.”

     “Oh gosh! You’re right! I’m so sorry I got caught up in my work. Let me make it up to you with a chocolate pastry? They’re amazing here.” As we talked, early afternoon bled into afternoon, which bled into evening. Before we knew it we were getting kicked out since it was closing time. She was truly amazing. Everything she said and did was so animated. So bright and fun. She lit up a room with her personality and smile. She attracted attention without trying, but in the best way possible. She was a beautiful human, inside and out.

                                           *Two months later*

     (Y/N)’s POV

     Tonight was like any other. After work, I was going to my boyfriend Oli’s place. Except tonight I had a fun game in mind. It didn’t take long for me to get introduced into Oli’s life, and same with him. We introduced each other to our friend groups and family, and we got along with everyone. A few weeks ago, I was left alone with his friends Jack and Conor. I was told they were mischievous, but I hadn’t realized until I found out about the list. I also learned that I was a check mark on it. 

     Now, normally this is part of the story or movie plot where the girl gets mad and she just can’t believe she was duped and she was nothing more than a challenge. But I wasn’t mad, I was intrigued. I wanted to know more. This is what led to Jack, Conor, and I to get Oli very drunk and him waking up in a parking lot with nothing but his underwear and phone that miraculously was not stolen. Now came another time to check off another item: getting called out for having a boner in public. 

     The buttercreams and I were going out to eat and grab some cocktails. This was my time to shine. We entered Wagamama and made our way to a table. I made sure I was right next to Oli and I had Jack or Conor sitting on the other side. God forbid another one of the boys sat next to him and saw what I was doing. We were also conveniently in the corner so there was no added embarrassment from any other stranger. As we began to peruse the menu, I rested a reassuring hand on Oli’s hand. He smiled, placing his hand on top of mine. I almost felt bad as he had no idea, but the prospect was too exciting.

    A couple of minutes later, my hand began to wander. “(Y/N),” Oli muttered. “Please.” I only gave an innocent tilt of the head and asked, “Are you alright?” He glared, but did nothing. I continued to do my work, just subtly enough to not raise suspicion in the rest of the boys. A tent began to pitch and I was like a giddy school girl. Though it sounds sadistic, the more he squirmed, the happier I was. When he was completely upright, I stopped. He clearly groaned in frustration when Caspar looked over. “Is everything alright, buddy?” he asked, genuinely concerned. Josh, who was two seats away, looked over and began to laugh. “No, everything is not alright!” he chimed in through his chuckling. “He’s at full chub!” 

     The boys began to look over and laugh as they saw Oli’s situation. I beamed with pride at my accomplishment. “Check,” I said, giving Conor and Jack a high five. “You were in on this with them?!” Oli asked, slightly upset and angry. I shrugged in response. “Sorry, babe.”

     The night came to end, and Oli and I drove back to his place in silence. He was clearly upset, and I was too stubborn to apologize. We got into his apartment, and, as I thought he was about to start an argument, he slammed me against the wall and began to kiss me passionately. He immediately started to rub me through my pants, still pinning me to the wall. Without saying a word, he took me to his room and we continue to make out on his bed. We teased each other through our clothes, then removed them quickly. Before I knew it, Oli was on top of me, ready to thrust himself into me. I nodded, giving him consent, and he began to slowly push himself in and out of me. He quickened his pace over time, and we were both moaning each other’s names into the night. He came quickly, then pulled out.

      I whimpered at the lose of friction, but Oli quickly began to rub my clit rapidly. I came quickly as well, and Oli collapsed back from exhaustion. “Thank you,” he said after catching his breath. 

     “Anytime,” I replied with a wink.

[ylla]

Friday Night Gurus - Chapter 1

Series: JJBA Ships: josuyasu (others will eventually happen too, but im tagging as i go) Tags: au where theyre famous, modern au, pining, josuke is a hot mess and has exactly 0 chill Rating: T (for this chapter only, bc eventually there will be sex/smoking the devil’s lettuce)

AO3 link

reeeeee so i’ve been in and out of the doctor’s office with a sinus infection so intense, i’ve been to the ER due to pain. fun shit. i came up with this AU while listening to music while waiting for someone to come smother me with a pillow to put me out of my misery.

this unbeta’d because i wrote this on my phone while waiting. i plan on keeping up with this idea because it delights me. next chapter will follow shortly too, because i’m trying to break this up into smaller chunks as i hammer it out on my phone (which fucking sucks, lemme tell ya). if you notice anything weird, tell me about it so i can fix it!!

The first time Josuke Higashikata meets Okuyasu Nijimura was because of a fuckup in a magazine photo shoot schedule. The shoot in question was for a feature in Rolling Stone; award season was coming soon and they wanted to feature the current Biggest Names in Music. Some poor intern (who was probably promptly fired) fucked up EVERYONE’S schedule, so all the bands and singers had to come in during the same hellish week in June. It was a nightmare for all involved.

Of course, the cover would feature the biggest name in the industry which, naturally, was Josuke. Discovered at sixteen, with two world tours, four albums (two of which went platinum), and at least 20 different awards, he was twenty-four and still going. His latest album dropped too late for Grammy consideration last year, but he was feeling real confident. This was his year. He’ll get that fucking Grammy, even if he killed him.

Josuke still considered himself to be a chill, down-to-earth kind of man despite his superstardom; able to roll with the punches whenever they came. He got that sometimes things just didn’t go your way, but he still couldn’t help it when his precious time off gets thwarted by some dumb idiot.

“What the fuck, Koichi?” Josuke whined on their way to the shoot, “Why couldn’t have this happened literally like, last week?”

Koichi Hirose was his manager, agent, PR guy, and truth be told, the only person beside his mother and grandfather who truly knew him. “Stop whining, it’s not the end of the world.”

“Dude, this was supposed to be my first week off in forever—“

For someone who was 5’3 and weighed 110lbs soaking wet, Koichi could be intimidating. He gave Josuke a look before parking and turning off the car, “Can’t be helped. They wanted to do the cover shoot last since there’s two of them.”

Josuke made a face. He forgot that this would be a dual cover. Him on one side, some band on the other. “Who’s the other band?”

Like he was still in school, Koichi started rattling off some facts, “Arrowhead, they’re a metal band. Comprised of four members. Skyrocketed up the charts this past year with their second album. You guys fought over #1 album and singles on Billboard on and off all year.” Koichi was the type of guy who always did his homework, “Now come on, you’re gonna be late.”

The shoot was operating in some random ass warehouse in some backassward part of Los Angles. Josuke and Koichi waltz into some giant room that was getting set up; a group of 4 people huddled in a corner eating what appeared to be a large quantity of Taco Bell with a sharp dressed man standing near them. Josuke’s kind of people.

“Oi! Tonio!” Koichi called out with a wave, before gesturing at Josuke to follow him over. Josuke barely restrained an eyeroll; his hair was up in a ponytail and he was wearing some worn-out sweats with an old t-shirt, not exactly looking good for first introductions.

“Koichi,” the finely dressed man shook Koichi’s outstretched hand, “good to see you.”

“Josuke, this is Tonio Trussardi, we work at the same agency.” Koichi gestured at Tonio, “And Tonio, this is Josuke Higashikata.”

Josuke held out his hand and got a firm handshake, “Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Tonio’s eyes sparkled. He let go of Josuke’s hand and gestured to the group of people sitting behind him, “These are my charges, Arrowhead.”

He started with introductions, pointing to a man leaned up against the wall, who had sleepy eyes and a face Josuke would find attractive if it wasn’t for the tattoo on his chin, “Yuuya Fungami, drummer.” Yuuya nodded in greeting. Tonio pointed to a pretty girl with long black hair who was intently staring at Koichi, “Yukako Yamagishi, lead guitarist.” She didn’t even acknowledge Josuke, but held out a hand for Koichi to shake (which he did, if a little hesitant due to her staring). He swept a hand towards a man with impressively tall hair and two braids, “Keicho Nijimura, bassist.” Keicho gave them a cold stare and said nothing. “And last, but not least,” Tonio clapped his hand on a scarred man who had been too busy slamming a taco the entire time and didn’t notice people had walked up, “Okuyasu Nijimura, lead singer and rhythm guitarist.”

Okuyasu jumped a little, before turning a little pink and waving, “Sup?” His voice sounded he had came out of the womb smoking like a freight train.

Josuke was taken aback when he got a good look at the guy. The symmetrical scars running parallel on Okuyasu’s face did nothing to detract from how goddamn hot he was. Square jaw, angular face, black and silver hair pulled up into a ponytail, three piercings in each ear, ripped arms that had tattoos snaking up them, good God almighty. The first thought that entered Josuke’s mind when looking Okuyasu in the face was Oh no, he’s hot. The first words out of his mouth were “Those tacos smell so fuckin’ good.” Real smooth.

Without another word, Okuyasu offered him one. Josuke ignored how the blonde guy glared at him, and took the proffered taco, “Thanks dude.”

“S’no prob.”

As Josuke started chowing down, about to start chatting up the cute guy, when Okuyasu unceremoniously got up and walked away. Trying not to look so bitter, Josuke turned towards Koichi, but Yukako was asking him incredibly personal questions about his life, while Tonio started ushering Yuuya to hair and makeup, “Photographer’s not here yet, but you need to be ready since you’re the first up.”

“Yeah yeah, stop pushing.”

Keicho’s cold stare was unwavering and was starting to give Josuke the heebie jeebies, “Oi, Koichi. I’m gonna have a smoke.” Josuke didn’t bother to listen for Koichi’s stammered reproach before heading outside (which might have been a strangled cry for help). Truth be told, he really didn’t need a cigarette, he just kind of wanted to go pout. But luck would have it, when he went outside, Okuyasu was sitting on the curb with earbuds in, watching some video. Nosy as shit, Josuke hovered over his shoulder to see what he watching, “Are you watching Real Housewives of Atlanta??”

Okuyasu nearly jumped out of his skin, phone fumbling in his hand, “Oh shit!” he whipped around, wearing glasses he didn’t have on earlier, unlit cigarette dangling from his lips, “Uh, I can explain.”

Oh no, he’s so fuckin’ cute Josuke hollered inwardly. He held his hands up in defense, “Sorry man, didn’t mean to scare ya.” Pulling out his own pack of cigarettes, he sat down beside him on the curb, “Don’t gotta explain anything to me, I love trashy reality shows.”

“You ain’t makin’ fun of me, are ya?” Okuyasu asked, scowling.

“What? Nah, reality shows are the shit. I love binge watching them.” Josuke fished around in his pocket, “You got a lighter?”

As if Okuyasu was trying to divine if Josuke was lying, he stared at him for a few seconds before handing over his lighter, “Jus’ asking. Keicho gives me shit for watching them, but they’re hilarious.”

Josuke lit his cigarette, “Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.” Inhale. He gave Okuyasu a serious look, speaking on the exhale and handing his lighter back, “Fuck what he thinks.”

Okuyasu was quiet while he lit up and took a drag. For a moment, Josuke was worried that he had already overstepped his boundaries with someone he literally just met. God, no wonder he didn’t have any friends.

He was snapped out of mentally kicking his own ass when Okuyasu spoke, holding up his right earbud, “Wanna watch with me?”

“Hell yes I do, which episode are you on?”

“The one where Ridickulous shows up—“

“THAT’S MY FAVORITE ONE—“

“DUDE, MINE TOO.”

They ended up talking while watching, not really paying much attention to the show until Ridickulous showed up, which was met with raucous laughter. Josuke learned that Keicho was Okuyasu’s older brother, that the only thing better than chocolate or strawberry ice cream was strawberry ice cream with chocolate chunks, he smoked his cigarettes like he did his joints, he smelled insanely good, most of his tattoos didn’t have much more meaning than “They looked cool as shit when my dude drew them”, and that Okuyasu Nijimura was the most genuine person he had ever met. He was sweet, eager to please, loud, and friendly. Josuke was already dangerously enamored.

Josuke hadn’t even been aware of how much time passed until Koichi came out, “They’re looking for you guys. Keicho’s almost done, so you both need to go to hair and makeup.” Yukako hovered in behind Koichi, her eye’s sliding between Okuyasu and Josuke with a blank expression on her face.

“Shit, I hadn’t even realized,” Josuke stood up and held a hand out to help Okuyasu up, “Let’s go before we get murdered.”

With a grin, Okuyasu took his hand and hopped up, “Yeah, god forbid we disappear for a minute.”

It was hilarious watching Okuyasu, who had never had makeup put on him in all his life, grimace as his face was caked. “This shit smells weird.”

Josuke couldn’t help but cackle while he did his own hair, “Get used to it, dude. This is your life now.”

Makeup finished, Okuyasu got started on his own hair, “Josuke, the least surprisin’ thing you could ever tell me about yourself is the fact that you don’t let anyone else do your hair.” He was fighting with stubborn strands that didn’t want to stay still, “The pomp is cool, you pull it off.”

A quick glance in the mirror told Josuke that he managed to keep his blush to a minimum, “Thanks dude, you got some slick style there yourself.” The shy, pleased grin that crossed Okuyasu’s face was an image he wanted branded to the inside of his eyelids.

Okuyasu was up for pictures first, looking anxious and green. It was clear to Josuke that he had no idea what he was doing. “Dude, just relax!” he shouted, “You’re looking fine!” What he didn’t say was that he meant that two ways. With a slight nod, Okuyasu relaxed slightly, and his pictures started coming out better. Josuke was trying to go for the somewhat disinterested watching, but damn, he couldn’t help but stare. This dude was cute. Out of the corner of his eye, Josuke caught Keicho staring at him again. What was that guy’s deal??

He couldn’t ruminate on an answer, because as soon as he thought that, Yuuya suddenly sat down beside him, causing Josuke to yelp in a totally manly way, “Jesus! You scared the shit out of me!”

“Sorry dude,” Yuuya was eating a leftover taco, “Busy watchin’ the show?” He tilted his head toward the photographer fussing at Okuyasu, shit-eating grin on his face.

Josuke did not like that smug look Yuuya was sporting, “He looks nervous. Jus’ tryin’ to help him out.”

“That’s just how he is,” without looking over his shoulder, Yuuya tossed the taco wrapper behind him, hitting a trashcan, “He doesn’t know how to chill out.”

They sat in silence few a couple of minutes before the eyes Josuke felt on his back were getting on his last goddamned nerve, “Why is that guy staring at me like I murdered everyone he’s ever cared about?”

Yuuya eyed Keicho for a second before shrugging, “That’s just how he is too.”

Before Josuke could even ask what the fuck that even meant, Keicho punched Yuuya’s shoulder as he walked by, “Come on, asshole. It’s time for the cover.”

“Ow, that fuckin’ hurt, dickhead.” Taking his time, Yuuya stood up and stretched, rubbing his punched shoulder. “By the way, Okuyasu’s single,” Yuuya said casually, as if he was answering a question that had been posed.

Josuke sputtered, his face scarlet, “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK—“

Yuuya pointed at his nose, “I got a nose for romance,” and then he dead ass winked at Josuke before walking away. Josuke wondered if he was that obvious. Perhaps that explains why big bro Keicho stared daggers at him. Maybe he needed to work on being subtle, but Higashikata’s were never, ever subtle (thanks mom).

The cover shoot didn’t take too long, much to Josuke’s surpise. Not a whole lot of time passed before it was Josuke’s turn. Okuyasu was dragging his feet, watching intently, while Keicho was demanding they leave. Tonio, bless him, told them that he needed to speak to Koichi about business matters before they left (mercifully saving him from Yukako’s question of “What do you look for in a woman?”) Josuke didn’t know if Tonio was picking up on something, or just making assumptions, but he appreciated it.

When the pictures were mercifully done, Josuke ran to the bathroom real quick to reorient himself, muttering under his breath, “Okay, Higashikata. You got this. You’re cool, suave, and undeniably handsome.” Josuke applied a quick coat of lip gloss before heading back out there, “Get that cute guy’s number.”

After leaving the bathroom, Josuke was greeted to an almost empty room. Okuyasu was nowhere to be found. In fact no one associated with Arrowhead was there; Keicho had muscled them out of the door as soon as Josuke left the room, Koichi helpfully explained, patting Josuke’s shoulder as he felt his confidence leak out of him like a sad balloon.

Josuke pouted the whole way home, and Koichi couldn’t tempt him out of a foul mood. “Josuke, what’s the problem??” Koichi asked, finally fed up with his huffing and sighing, “Why are you like this?”

“Koichi, I’m gay,” Josuke said, head leaned against the window.

“I know this, you’ve told me before. What does that have to do with you sighing like a moody teenager?”

“I was gonna ask Okuyasu for his number, but they left before I could.” He felt like a fucking fool, why did he have to run to the bathroom like a scared baby? It was taking a lot of effort to not punch his own face in. “That Yuuya guy told me he was single and everything. Was I that obvious??”

As they sat at a stoplight, Koichi patted his shoulder, tactfully choosing to not answer the last question, “Don’t sweat it, Hollywood is small. You’ll run into him again.” Actually, Koichi could easily get Okuyasu’s number, but he knew better than to offer. It would only hurt Josuke’s pride.

Josuke shrugged and changed the subject, deciding to throw a pity party for himself later, “So about that Yukako chick…”

Koichi grimaced, “She followed me around the whole time. Asked me how I got such a high powered client when we’re the same age! And a bunch of personal stuff like my underwear size and what kind of man did I consider myself to be.”

“At least she’s cute?” Josuke offered, an apologetic smile on his face.

“She is that…also intense. Very…intense…”

“Did you get her number?”

Koichi sighed as he pulled into Josuke’s driveway, “She took my phone, put her number in it, and then texted herself.”

“Damn,” Josuke snorted with mirth, “Hey man, you might end up getting laid before my dry spell ends. I’m rooting for ya.”

Josuke didn’t need to look at Koichi to know that he was getting a look. He hopped out of the car and waved goodbye as his friend pulled out of the driveway. Upon walking through the front door, he greeted an empty house. “I’m home!” he called out to no one. Josuke really wished his mom hadn’t moved back east, but after his grandfather had that heart attack and refused to move to Los Angeles, someone had to stay with him. He could use advice, and was tempted to call her. No, he was grown ass man. No advice from mom, you die like a man.

…He’ll just call her later.

One shower and ordered pizza later, Josuke laid on his bed, booted up both his laptop and PS4. It was time for Netflix and Learning As Much About Your Crush As Possible. With Netflix on Worst Cook’s in America, pizza in one hand, and beer in the other, he typed in Arrowhead into Google and got to work.

Two hours later, he laid on his bed, hands folded across his chest, and stared at his ceiling, Netflix and pizza forgotten. Arrowhead’s second, self-titled album had been on repeat for the last hour. Metal was never his cup of tea, but Okuyasu’s husky, rough voice made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and chills run down his spine. If he didn’t have it bad for Okuyasu before, he certainly fucking did now. Josuke briefly wondered if this is how he sounded when he woke up in the morning, or when he was needy and wanted—

Josuke promptly rolled over and started screaming into his pillow. Why was he like this?

You’re a fucking mess he thought to himself, You have it bad for a dude who you barely even know, just because the way he sings goes directly to your dick.

“He’s also really hot and nice,” Josuke mumbled aloud. He paused before tearing out of bed, determined to shower, do anything that would get his mind off of Okuyasu. “I also need to stop talking to myself!” he said, ripping his clothes off, jumping into lukewarm water.

After a long, somewhat cold shower, Josuke steeled himself. He was gonna get that fucking number.