#wow this is so long oops

[thecollectionsof]

Multiples of 7 that you haven't already done <3

hi eli !!! sorry it's late!! thanks for sending some in <3

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

here's a summary of one!

It’s been two months since her boyfriend left her, and Gigi still misses him more than she ever thought possible. It’s not like it’s her fault, or so she justifies to herself—she had thought that she was going to marry Michael one day, as long as her coming out as trans went well. But before she even got the chance, he was gone. He left with nothing but a note, or so she thinks, but when she comes back to what used to be their apartment to find a stack of postcards from around Mexico, she decides that there just may be more going on than she ever expected.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

at the local library by the computers (but using my own laptop), in one of those fun little spinny chairs :)

21. Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

oooh oneshots, definitely. i love pressing the post button so i love just writing something and then finishing it not long after <3

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

god so many?? i think the biggest thing is pacing, i'm absolute shit at pacing. i just get frustrated and want to be done :p but i also want to work on when and where to use descriptions, like i'm having an issue where a few fics don't have much dialogue and i'm struggling to keep tension and interest without it, if that makes sense? i don't know, a lot of areas.

42. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

leave the light on :) it was actually supposed to be leave the lamp on, based on a spotify playlist, but i messed it up (i still like it so it's ok <3)

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

i had to hold off on answering this until posting it but i think that confessing like penguins do has a lot of voice and personality (and also is a small fic with a kinda mundane premise that’s also friends to lovers. which is very my type of fic)

56. Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

oh definitely! some of my earlier fics just feel a bit immature, like i'd want to add a few more lines and change them to feel more practiced. but i was new to writing then, so it makes sense!! i'd also change crystal's commenting, i think that it's one of my least favorite fics i've written. even if i think it would actually be my worst nightmare, it feels almost self insert or like. i was hoping that would happen? to me? which leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i just think it wasn't very well written or thought out, so that's one that i'd have to change a lot more or just scrap altogether :p

63. What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]?

i'm gonna just do the thing that's being the hardest to write in lots of my fics right now: ANGST. aaaahhhhh it's so hard !!!!! i want them to be happy and in love but "angst makes the fluff more impactful and keeps the story interesting" or whatever

70. Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

yeah!! @gggoode of course, and @junosjukebox, @hannahlovesdance07, @goodemethyd, @sweetestberryofthebunch, @lady-assnali, and there are definitely more that i'm not remembering right now </3

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

i love storytelling, and i love hopefully making people happy with my stories !!! also i’m such a reader so i’m happy that i get to be a writer and provide stories like the ones i love <3

[thedaythatwas]

on nagito komaeda and love

I just think it’s sort of funny that for a character whose (arguably) most well-recognized CG is this: 

komaeda’s narrative so heavily centers love. and I don’t just say this because I’ve had komahina brainrot for years (though this is true!!). even if you don’t care about komahina, it’s tough to deny komaeda is a walking tragedy in large part because of the role that love plays in his life. his characterization is driven by the way his luck has denied him love, and how he seeks it out regardless. in that sense, I think that without understanding komahina as at least one-sided, you miss out on one of the juiciest, most miserable pieces of komaeda’s character development.

tldr; a love-centered reading of komaeda makes sense, recognizing komahina as “a thing” in DR2 (whether you ship it or not) is pretty important to understanding how komaeda operates, and I’ll try to prove it right here under this page break!!

Part 1: Komaeda’s Love Life (or, his life without love)

I think it’s safe to assume that if you clicked here, you know about komaeda’s absurdly miserable, tumultuous childhood, but I’ll do a quick recap just in case! meteor kills his parents on a plane, he inherits a ton of money. he’s kidnapped by a serial killer, he finds a winning lottery ticket in the garbage bag he’s thrown out in. he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer and dementia, he gets into hope’s peak.

in his free time events, komaeda *explicitly* frames his luck cycle as something that takes away the people he loves. it only “takes action” against him after his relatives have died (for the sake of this essay, let’s assume that komaeda loved his parents, or would have at least been hurt by their passing). by way of other close connections… well, his wording here implies that by the time of his diagnosis, he didn’t really have anybody in his life. 

either komaeda didn’t allow himself to get close to anyone after the meteor incident, or he did, and they were taken away by his luck. at some point during his childhood, komaeda learned he should view himself as a death sentence.

so, how does this loss of love shape the komaeda we know? I’ll talk about this in terms of four of his defining (and connected!) traits in DR2 canon – the ones that really make his actions make sense: his self-loathing, his hope-seeking, his learned helplessness, and his certainty that his existence poses a threat to those around him. komaeda’s experience with loss makes him view himself as a source of death, which in turn fuels these tenets of his character. ultimately, his loss and the complexes that arise from it give him good incentive to push people away.

his self-loathing

komaeda hates himself. he views himself as worthless outside of his potential to serve as a “stepping stone” for the hope of the ultimates. he claims that this is driven by his beliefs around talent, which are in turn linked to the way his worldview rests on viewing hope as “absolute good.” the talentless (himself included) are only good for advancing the hope of the talented. still, his self-loathing is a bit more personal than that. take what he says and dig just below the surface, and it’s a clean cut trauma response all the way down. which leads us directly to…

his hope-seeking

komaeda is willing to do literally anything to serve hope. on the island, this (in short) means dying. this is where I prod at komaeda’s reasoning a bit more: komaeda’s willingness to act the way he does in canon also stems from his belief that his dying would be a net good for the world. his existence kills the people around him. his illness will kill him anyway. he has less than no value, and hope is invaluable. to go out for the sake of hope would give his wretched life purpose; it’s his dream come true.

and it’s no mystery why komaeda cares so much about hope: again, it’s a coping mechanism! komaeda’s belief that all bad luck is a necessary precursor for good luck and that hope will always triumph over despair is (as he himself says!) the only reason he’s managed to stay alive. I’ll say it again because I really can’t emphasize it enough – komaeda thinks that just by existing, he kills the people he loves. ouch!

learned helplessness / his existence as a threat

komaeda has, essentially, learned to submit to his luck cycle. all bad luck is good luck in the end – isn’t that amazing?! almost paradoxically, he’s hyper-vigilant about the negative impact his luck has on those around him. this is a tricky one. I make sense of it this way: komaeda’s perception of how much his luck impacts the people close to him isn’t inflated, like, at all. the supernatural way the world bends around komaeda to screw him over really does pose a danger to himself and others, and he takes measures to minimize that danger. his stated acceptance of his luck cycle is… well, again, he’s coping. 

if komaeda really thought that all bad luck is ultimately good luck, he wouldn’t try to protect his classmates from his bad luck. but, as we see in island mode, he does!

but really, who could blame komaeda for lying to himself? I’ll restate the facts. komaeda thinks that luck is absolute power. he says that he’s powerless against it. his luck has taken his family, and it’s left him with nothing but money that he doesn’t want. he’s certain he’s a curse, and there’s no end to that in sight: so long as komaeda exists, he’ll keep on losing – murdering – everything he loves. 

in the face of all of that despair, what can you do but abandon your self-esteem and pray for something good to come out of all of it? how else could somebody possibly survive carrying that burden, truly believing that load will never be lightened?

tldr; komaeda thinks his existence is a threat, and a big chunk of his personality is a frankensteined way of surviving the pain that comes with that. still, we should question how much of his worldview komaeda has really internalized without inner conflict. 

Part 2: Enter Hajime Hinata

we get some answers on that front when we see that despite the clear and obvious danger it poses, nagito komaeda still finds himself falling hard for hajime hinata. that’s really, really loud.

I’ll preface this part by saying that you don’t need to actively ship komahina to understand what I’m trying to get at here. this said, I’ll be recapping an argument you’ve almost definitely seen before: komahina is definitely “a thing” – at the very least as a one-sided thing. to this, I’ll add the (perhaps bold?) claim that without recognizing that much as true, you’re missing out on a big part of what makes komaeda so interesting.

komaeda’s FTEs make it abundantly clear that komaeda has feelings for hinata. apart from his famed failed love confession, the fact that komaeda is willing to allow hinata to get close enough to learn about his views on hope and luck is telling. 

(the smoking gun here hinges on trusting that komaeda was telling the truth during the time you spent with him; in so many words, that he only lied about lying. so, for the sake of argument, let’s assume this is true! there’s good proof for it, anyway.)

if you read his final FTE as komaeda flashing his soul to hinata and making a decision at the very last second to retreat, turning to old coping mechanisms to protect hinata from his luck, it’s sort of a komahina bombshell. that capitulation spells out for us that komaeda understands sharing his life experiences with hinata to be one of the most intimate things he could possibly do.

he recognizes the exact moment he lets hinata get too close – when his life story is finally told – and he does what he’s learned he needs to do to get them both out of that situation safely: he tries to make hinata hate him, and tells himself (and hinata!) that he did it for the sake of hope.

(and yet, komaeda let hinata approach him every FTE, knowing damn well that they were both playing with fire… very interesting.)

now, let’s say you don’t consider the FTEs to be integral to canon. I mean, you can really easily miss out on all of komaeda’s content if you choose not to hang out with him in chapter 1! so, for the skeptic, in the unskippable main story, komaeda tells hinata this:

komaeda cares about hinata despite everything. and I really, truly mean despite everything. at this point in the story, the fact that he still cares about hinata calls into question basically every single one of his core beliefs. he’s read his final dead room prize – not only does hinata not have a talent, we can presume that komaeda also knows hinata became ultimate despair along with the rest of them. 

hinata has continually sought out komaeda’s company, even though komaeda knows himself to be worthless at best, lethal at worst. komaeda was willing to let him get closer, even though he knows how dangerous that is for hinata. he can’t help but let hinata try to know him. 

isn’t he awful? to want what he knows he can’t have, even though that wanting has never done anything but cause pain? he’s really the lowest of the low, to love someone who destroyed the world, who makes him question the views that will allow him to do the only good thing he’s ever been able to do for it: to die for hope. 

and yet, it’s a nod to how incredibly capable of love komaeda is that he’s still willing to reach out for it, no matter how many times it’s burned him in the past, and how much it hurts him in the present to want it. he understands more than anyone that his feelings can only result in disaster. reading komaeda as someone who can’t help but go on loving anyway makes his story hurt so much worse. 

but, you miss a whole lot of that without an eye for komahina. seeing hinata as the eye of komaeda’s emotional hurricane (and keeping tabs on their connection accordingly) allows us to glimpse past the cracks in komaeda’s front. we see that komaeda’s worldview is less stable than he presents it as – hinata is where komaeda’s coping mechanisms, for better or worse, run up against a wall. that tends to be uncomfortable for a guy who’s just barely coping in the first place. then again, growth is supposed to be uncomfortable, isn’t it?

Part 3: The Future He Chooses

so, all of this considered, I think one of the most interesting ways you can flesh komaeda out post-canon is by asking how he’d find himself willing to accept love. whether that love is from hinata or the ultimates, whether it’s platonic or romantic, love is the thing that komaeda wants AND fears in equal measure more than anything. it’s the source of his self-loathing and his obsession with hope. it’s the reason he’s lived the way that he has for so long – lonely, and afraid of being anything but.

getting into a relationship wouldn’t solve komaeda’s problems for him, and that’s a good thing. it would force him to confront old ones, and probably create dozens of new issues for him, too. writing him through that makes for great character study!

hinata (or anyone else, for that matter) can’t love komaeda into loving himself, but he can give him a shoulder to cry on while he works through 22 years of fear and sorts through the wreckage of a worldview that’s long since stopped serving him. I don’t think his progress would be linear. but, I think that he could do it. komaeda learning to accept care is what his healing looks like. 

(well. and physically recovering from cancer and dementia. but that’s neither here nor there!)

a post-canon komaeda learning to love narrative is also in line with the themes of DR2. hinata leads the survivors out of the neo world program because he makes the decision to choose his own future, creating a new version of “hope” for himself and his classmates. likewise, komaeda can make the decision to save himself. that is, if he trusts himself enough to actually touch and hold the thing that he’s never been able to stop reaching out for, anyway.

after all, hinata is lucky too. (and if it turns out he isn’t… y'all like angst fics, right?)

(shoutout to @cynopter for looking this over and confirming that I'm not spouting nonsense <33 thank you for reading my thesis of the week <33)

[thecurtainswereblue]

oops my hand slipped

[jellicle-chants]

It’s very interesting (read: confusing) how modern Cats designs have reacted to improvements in lighting technology, better ways to have dependably-colored spotlights, etc. by *reducing* the colors they use in some of the costumes? Like, designing with the color of their main song’s lights in mind… without considering how they will look without that light on them?

Example 1: Ann-Marie Craine as Jellylorum

Example 2: Jesse Chidera as Tugger

[hiphopcherrrypop]

55! My lucky number

lalalalala i like u!

this one uhmmmm.. halloween even tho it's december josuyasu 👍

except i realized too late that i was thinking of lovey dovey mv LOL.. but whatever they can be roly poly too i guess

[coconut530]

BITTERSWEET REUNIONS

[incorrect-finding-frankie]

In the tags.

[moeblob]

Karen: LMAO every guy I meet reminds me of my big brothers that's so funny except if Paul is already my brother and you're also a brother that's a bit awkward, huh Hot bartender: THATS MOVING REALLY FAST AND I LIKE YOU AS A PERSON BUT - Karen: having my brothers date would be SO WEIRD Hot bartender: Well on the bright side I literally cannot speak more than five words to him so we aren't dating because he's so cute

(Everyone else: that is somehow the most depressing bright side we never want to hear)

[heart-of-ep]

So deep in my Elvis feels right now. Literally sobbed my eyes out and now it's 3am and idk what to do with myself. 😭

[gauntletqueen]

wow is superstars really That Bad?? :(

In my opinion, kinda yeah :< (here I go writing a fucking essaybecause just listing complaints as bulletpoints isn't gonna get my thoughts across shafghghaf, this is all based on personal experience and opinion of course!)

(first off, the game uses Denuvo anti-cheat which eats a stupid amount of processing power, slowing down your PC, which is bad because there are better alternatives but SEGA keeps insisting on using this one) On a base level, the game is fine. The characters feel pretty good to control, the graphics are nice, I like that they brought back Fang and introduced Trip whom I love! About half of the soundtrack is very good too! But I just find so many problems that build on that base.

The level design, while fine overall, has a tendency to make you run or jump directly into obstacles a lot, partially because the camera is much to close to the player character. There is just no way to see these obstacles coming until it's already too late, or the enemies will shoot projectiles from off-screen, giving you no warning either. This also means it's harder to see jumps coming, making you fall down a lot. Not necessarily in bottomless pits, but it can be a bit annoying all the same to fall down to a lower route. The game also features several special powers you can activate, and the game wants you to use these at specific moments, but most of these aren't build into the levels fluidly at all. Instead they usually halt the momentum entirely just for a small gimmick that'll be over in a second and, in my experience, never adds anything, aside from the water power which lets you swim freely, which makes for a nice change of pace, but it's only applicable in water stages and using it anywhere else is totally useless. Most of the powers are like that, far too situational, to the point where I kept forgetting they existed unless the game reminded me. I will admit I am just forgetful so maybe this is a me problem.

The game's main selling point, the multiplayer, also makes these problems even worse. The camera seems to choose entirely at random which player it wants to follow, swapping at random as well. The moment a player leaves the screen, they despawn. Given that this game is about running fast, this means that you will despawn constantly. After despawning in this manner, rather than dying, you can press A to respawn next to the surviving player immediately, so it's not the worst, but still incredibly annoying when you can never get into the flow of the game. But it gets worse when one person falls into a bottomless pit, and the camera decides to follow that player. The other player is pushed offscreen, dissapears, and the first player falls to their death, thus killing both. These kinds of problems are a constant and make the multiplayer incredibly frustrating.

The bosses are a big gripe for me as well. In previous Sonic games, Classic especially, if you could hit the boss in their weak spot, you could hurt them. That sounds obvious at first, but a lot of games aren't like that, where you need to wait for a specific attack to leave the boss vulnerable or something. Most bosses in Sonic games don't have that, if you can duck and weave between the boss's attacks and get close enough to land hits quickly, you can really speedrun a boss and feel great about it! In Superstars, bosses can only be hit at certain points, which often isn't visually indicated, causing you to either bounce off of them, or take damage, despite the boss looking no different than when you can hit them. When you hit them, they flash white, indicating their invincibility frames, another common thing for bosses in games, but their invincibility actually lasts much longer than the flashing, which results in the player trying to attack them too early and bouncing off or taking damage again. This already drags bosses out a lot, but on top of that, a lot of bosses take a ton of hits compared to most Sonic games, which, again, breaks the game's momentum. The bosses end up feeling so tedious and long that I started dreading having to fight most of them.

But okay! You can just play the main game in singleplayer! The levels are usually fine and some bosses actually work well! It's not entirely unfun. However, there's more once you beat the main game. (spoilers ahead, though I refrain from talking about specific story elements)

After beating the main story, you unlock a second story. This story is just as long as the previous one, because it's all the same levels, but made harder. This includes the bosses, which were already a pain before, some of which become like torture now.

At this point, the game becomes an endurance challenge, just suffering through harder and harder variants of the same levels and bosses, which, at least in my opinion, stops being fun pretty quickly, since all the earlier issues compound. No new story is learned through this mode either (it's even difficult to understand whether it takes place before or after the main game until the ending which seems like an easy thing to do), so it really just feels tacked on to stretch the game length. and I've been told by a friend that the final boss is so stupidly difficult that it took them like 6 hours to beat. Considering how frustratingly unfun and difficult the game had gotten by the 8th stage, I can believe it! It was, in no small terms, one of the most soulcrushing experiences I've ever had with a video game. It just made me really sad and dejected.

After finally beating it, you unlock a shoddily integrated True Final Boss which comes out of nowhere, and that's a shame because I feel it could've been something neat, and I understand where they were going with it, story-wise, but just needed to be introduced better.

Overall the game has a great basis for a good Sonic game, but ends up getting more and more frustrating and demoralizing as it goes on, and ends up being one of the few games that's actually less fun in multiplayer! Impressive. I really can't say who's at fault here either, since there's so many choices here that I feel can't be due to executive meddling, and it's important to remember that these are the same devs as Balan Wonderworld, Yoshi's New Island and Hey! Pikmin. They don't have the best track record, yknow? Perhaps we'll get a huge patch someday that fixes all of my issues with the game, or maybe the fans will mod it, or maybe not! Whatever! There's better Sonic games to play! Play Mania or 3! Or fan games!!

okay thank you for reading <3

[panhelleniios]

Name: Hercules Panhellenios 

Nickname(s): Herc, Herak, you know. Any of the names he's had in the past, within reason. Just not Heracles, thanks.  

Relationship Status: Verse dependent. Single, typically, unless otherwise established. 

Gender: Cis man

Romantic Orientation: Biromantic / Bisexual / Polyamorous

Preferred Pet Names: None, really. Call him whatever, and he tends to use partner's names rather than any pet names. 

Opinion on True Love: Absolutely believes it's real. Pretty certain it's what he had with Megara and he chases that feeling. Their relationship wasn't perfect — far from it, really, being back in ancient times and all that. He’s not sure he's had true love since then, but he wants to feel it again, even if he won't admit it out loud. 

Opinion on Love at First Sight: Attraction at first sight happens plenty for him, but love? Really only with Megara because of how smitten he was with her from the start. The fact that their marriage was arranged has no bearing on that — she was the first person he ever tried to settle down with, and he did try. 

How 'Romantic' are They?:  Once a relationship is established, very.  He'll still get affectionate and sweet on someone he's seeing casually, no doubt about that — but the lines between friendship, romantic love, and sexual attraction all blur in his head in some ways. Certain people he will only think of as platonic, and it's sort of instinctual instead of actually thought out not to cross any lines with them, but once the physical attraction is reciprocated — even without romantic intent —  he tends to get a little sappy. Even if you’re just his friend having a casual bit of fun with him, he’s likely to start being a little more sweet on you.

Ideal Physical Traits: This is a tough one to call, because Hercules doesn't entirely have a list of traits he thinks of as ideal. He can find just about anything attractive on anyone, given their personalities mesh well — and even when they don't. I'd like to say physical strength is up there, though. Confidence? An ability to stand up against him in a fight, even one just for fun? 

Ideal Personality Traits: Again, it's difficult to pin down properly. He's been with so many people that it's such a wide range — he knows he likes confidence and steadiness in battle, someone who can keep up with him and enjoy the fight at the same time. But he's also had plenty of lovers who stay far away from battle that he likes to dote on and take care of. So long as the person he's eyeing isn't downright cruel, he's bound to find something to like. There's also the matter of his tendency to like people who are smarter than him, someone who can bring a little bit of balance to his recklessness — even if you don't manage to stop him from doing something stupid.

Unattractive Physical Traits: He’s not picky. I mean, he fucked a drider once. He was also a drider in that moment but the point still stands.

Unattractive Personality Traits: Cruelty, really. That's about all I can think of — again, he's taken so many lovers over the years, but his taste does tend to veer toward the ‘morally good’ side of things. But he's had casual sex with people who have tried to kill him. Good way to cut the tension or be a distraction, I guess? (no let's be honest those interactions are solely the result of mutual sexual attraction.)

Ideal Date: Is it clear yet that Herc isn't picky? He'll consider fighting monsters as a date, but he'll also be more than happy to have casual nights out. Or in. As long as he gets to spend time with the person, he's happy. Though if he can manage to wrangle someone into taking a trip to Greece with him, he'll jump at that chance.

Do They Have a Type?: So this is something I've actually been contemplating for a bit and I'm not sure there's necessarily a word for it, but Hercules' type is … reciprocation. He can be physically and emotionally attracted to someone and keep it to a normal level of flirtation and interaction, but once it's reciprocated is when he gets really into the thought of it. 

Average Relationship Length: That's hard to gauge with a man who's thousands of years old. He's had flings, one night stands, relationships that last decades or centuries — there's no average for him. But he does cherish them. Just because he outlives someone doesn't mean he just tosses that relationship into the back of his mind forever — he'll keep mementos and cherish the memories for as long as he can. 

Preferred Non-Sexual Intimacy: A lot of touching. Cuddling, sleeping near someone, just being able to feel another person next to him. 

Commitment Level: As of his sobriety, he wants something a little more serious — more than just a one-night stand, maybe not something that winds up in marriage, something in-between. Before that it was an anything goes sort of deal. He's gotten married, divorced, and been a widower for people he's known for short amounts of time. He’s slept with people and left them for no reason other than he got bored. At times he’s been shallow about relationships, and at times he’s been deeply committed to people just because they’re nice to him. 

Opinion of Public Affection: Hercules loves it. He'll gauge based on what his partner is comfortable with, but he gets very affectionate very fast. Before his sobriety he’d gotten in trouble for public indecency, but these days he’s definitely far more conscious and a little smarter about all of that. Nonetheless he’s the type of person who wants to be touching, holding hands, an arm around a shoulder or waist, and he will bring up how impressive his partner is at any given moment. The displays of affection don't all have to be physical, after all. 

Past Relationships? Too many to count. Of course the most well-known is Megara, everyone knows he's been married before, he had kids — but that ended badly and left him a little intimidated by the idea of ever having a family again. Deinaira, Queen Omphale, Hylas, you know the drill — he was an overzealous bisexual in the ancient world who would sleep with anyone who offered. 

More modern days, his list of partners isn't any less impressive — Black Widow, She-Hulk, Snowbird, plenty of other heroes in various levels of commitment —  unfortunately the comics really used to disregard his bisexuality aside from little jokes about it (some that REALLY didn't age well at all) in some of his runs. Thankfully they've picked up on it in recent years. Noh-Varr being his latest and what seems to be a pretty decently balanced relationship is nice to see — even if they're ‘on a break’, according to some newer issues. 

And of course for 12025 verse Hercules — I can't forget him ever — he's a little more complicated. Banned from being with mortals, I don't think he even had Megara.  But he does have his Wolverine, and they're committed to a point that not even death can break them up. 

tagged by: @snkts

tagging: just steal it from me it's fun to do crime

[gayhoediaz]

me throughout my entire life: going out in public and talking to people and interacting takes a lot of energy out of me.

literally everyone including supposed mental health professionals: mhm. because you’re shy and have a lot of social anxiety.

me: uh. no. zero social anxiety actually. not shy. have no issue talking to people it just makes me tired afterwards.

them: mhm. but there must be a rational explanation so it’s because you’re anxious. you must practice.

me: i have practiced my entire life it just created burnout, it’s not gonna change, this is how i work. i could get up on a stage in front of thousands of people and give a speech it wouldn’t make me anxious at all, i’m just tired after.

them: mhm. so you have social anxiety.

———

me throughout my entire life: *is quiet*

literally everyone including supposed mental health professionals: you’re so shy

me: actually no, i just like to listen and reflect on what’s being said, and i like to think things over. whenever i have something to say, i have no issue saying it, i just naturally examine things from every angle and i want to make sure that my words are a valuable contribution to the conversation.

them: shy <3

———

me: yeah so my dad kind of traumatized me, he would gaslight and invalidate my fee-

therapists and psychologists: you’re too sensitive <3

me: …and i’m afraid his new kids will also struggle with-

therapists and psychologists: they’re probably not as sensitive as you don’t place your experiences and emotions onto other people

———

me: i’m depressed

therapist: go to a spa <3

———

me: you make me uncomfortable i’m not ready to talk about this specific assault that just happened to me please don’t push it

psychologist: therapy is difficult <3 it’s okay to be uncomfortable <3

me: okay but i’m uncomfortable with you - like as a person. and i never agreed to this therapy.

psychologist: therapy is difficult <3 it’s okay to be uncomfortable <3

me: i-

psychologist: listen to the only song that brings you any kind of comfort while i stare at you <3 im sure it won’t ruin the song at all <3

———

me for 5 years straight: i feel exhausted all the time i feel like a zombie

psychiatrist: hm lets increase the dosage of this extremely heavy anti depressant

me: i don’t think i was ever depressed i think it was burnout but these meds just don’t make me feel good. i’m still exhausted i can’t get out of bed.

psychologists and psychiatrists: lets increase the meds and also you can’t just rely on medication, sweaty, you have to try also.

me: i am tryi-

psychologists and psychiatrists: no <3 try harder <3

———

me: yeah a few years ago i slowly decreased my anti depressants by myself under the supervision of my family and i feel like i woke up after 5 years in a coma and i am still catching up in life because it was all paused but i feel so much better since quitting therapy because it was just giving me so much extra trauma and frustration with constantly being invalidated and misunderstood. i completely support medication and therapy when it’s necessary but i think it’s harmful to look at professionals as if they’re gods who can’t do anything wrong. i do not, in fact believe that everyone should go to therapy.

everyone:

[4giorno]

oh my..... omg. ventis birthday art is so beautiful. YOUTUBE let us download community pics please!!!!!!

[darkclouud9]

I may have thieved some colours....

drew what I'm wearing but HELLA simplified

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

I suddenly wish to post about my genshin oc. The main one at least (looks at the 12 others...) djskfjfk

More under the cut cause this is gonna be long af

But it's as they grow closer to Kabu that they realized they grew attached, regret filling their head when they remembered the events that are supposed to take place. Should they change them? Can they even do that? Well it wouldn't hurt to try.

-

So they are someone who was isekaied into genshin, but during the time of Kabukimono. They essentially showed up on island with only the clothes on their back. Of course they're confused as all heck, barely recognizing their surroundings. It's only when they're found by the people of Tatarasuna and see Niwa and Kabukimono do they realize where they are. And very much as expected they freak out internally, thinking over many options they could choose for how to handle their situation.

They were a fool. It did hurt in the end, for they died alongside Niwa. Their heart placed into the box by the doctor and framed as being killed by Niwa himself. They couldn't save the boy (not puppet, they never considered him one) from his fate.

It's only when they wake up near Narukami Shrine do they realize their situation further. They can die in this world, and be returned to the living. From there they decide to wander, since they had no hope of finding the boy once more. They didn't even know how much time had passed since their death. They traveled through the nation of electro exploring what it was before the events they were familiar with.

So more time passes on, and they eventually find a way onto the mainland. They experience more deaths, but more so from them being clumsy and not experienced with dealing with the monsters of Teyvat. It never bothered them, for they knew death wasn't something to truly be afraid of. What more so bothered them was how embarrassing they were when recounting them.

Many years go by before they received word of the traveler, just arriving in Teyvat. With baited breath they slowly followed their footsteps, awaiting for when they could potentially help. While they had learned their lesson in messing with the fate the Heavily Principles had set, they at least had learn they could help with improving the course to such fate.

By the time they arrived in Sumeru, the final fight against the fatui harbinger, now named Scaramouche, was done. Quick to use this opportunity, they rush to speak with Kusanali. While it took some effort to sneak into her chambers, they were greeted with the sight of the little god tending to the unconscious man.

While talking the outlander had asked of the god to potentially erase any memory of them from the man, explaining the regret they held over not being able to help him.

Kusinali, while understanding, had refused to do so, explaining that if they truly regret it then they should attempt to make up for it in the proper way. Instead of running away. This seems to get through to them, so they agreed. Though they weren't surprised when the man had cried upon seeing them before him, rushing to comfort him. And this is where their companionship began once more, with too many small shenanigans of their bonding and blossoming relationship to list off.

-

That's about as much as I have in my head in terms of story. I mainly prefer to think over their bonding moments. Also yes it is a romantic pairing, just making that clear in case it wasn't.

Honestly I have like several versions of what the confession scene could look like, but also same with so many almost confessions. I just love these two sassing each other and it just turns into this easily readable tension that anyone could fucking see besides for them, or at least the Outlander doesn't see it dhskdjf.

They're so oblivious to Kuni's (what they call him, because they wanted to give some respect to the name he gave himself over the names that was given by others) feelings, they genuinely at first thought he only saw them as either an older sibling figure or a parental figure because of how maternal they were over him during the Kabu days. Meanwhile Kuni is practically this close to screaming in their face he's been in love with them since then, but of course he would refuse to do so because of his own dignity.

[lokh]

that dead mom trope comic (book?) sounds so good!! i know you said you're not gonna write it but just the the idea and outline (?) was really interesting and inspired

omg thank u 🥹🥹🥹 !!!! i appreciate hearing this 😭😭😭