#and I as an artist want to draw these scenes but I cannot bring myself to draw a cake doing this shit

[darc-la-farse]

Lou and Zac did a great job playing divorced characters

[starlightguh]

An Artist Always Signs His Work

Word Count: 1,879

Tags: inappropriate uses of paint, Oral f!receiving

AN: 18+ Smut !MDNI¡ I started working on this before the Rafayel banner announcement and wanted to finish and post this before the new card dropped! I’ve truthfully not been the biggest Rafayel girly but lately he’s shown up in some spicy dreams of mine so I hope this does him justice 💕

I was taking my time doing my hair for a little outing with Tara that I had planned, when my phone started buzzing. I pause my hair routine and see Rafayel’s picture with his contact name: My Sushi <3 light up my screen.

I answer with a cutesy ‘Hellooo’ and am met with a disgruntled groan from the other end.

“I can’t do it! I won’t do it! I simply cannot draw anymore no matter how much Thomas threatens me!”

“Woah, slow down what happened?” I stifle a laugh at his dramatics.

“They expect me to have a new painting for that gallery by the end of this week and I just can’t! No matter how much I’ve painted nothing is giving that inspiration I need….You have to come help,” his voice sobbed on the other line.

“Rafayel I can’t, I have other engagements today I can’t just drop everything to help you with your art,” I sigh at his drama.

“Oh so you hate me. I get it. Well I see how much you care about me and my dying wishes, so I’m hanging up now,” his voice was full of sass as he then hung up on me.

I let out a long exasperated groan and gave Tara a phone call, “hey girl I might have to rain check on our tea date.”

“Oh that’s funny you called first! I actually ran into Dr.Greyson and am kinda caught up with him right now…We’ll definitely touch base and reschedule when I see you at work! Bye girly!”

Well that was easy. I continue to finish getting ready to go see my dying artist…

~~~~~~~~~

Im buzzed into Mo art studio with no problem. I didn’t bother calling Rafayel back since I knew where he would be whether I showed up or not.

“Knock, knock,” I call out as I open the doors to his studio space.

“Studio’s closed, I'm busy passing away…” Rafayel, whose clothes were covered in various paint colors, was laying on the floor with his arm covering his eyes.

“But I came to revive you.”

He lifts his arm away from his face and he lets in a sharp little gasp as he takes in my appearance.

I was a bit dressier than usual in my shiny short white dress and my hair and makeup done. I smiled down at his stunned expression as the pupils of his eyes darken.

“I think I’ve found my inspiration,” he says with a bit of a confident smirk.

He slowly lifts up his torso and smiles up at me before holding out his index fingers and thumbs to create a frame of me in his vision.

“Oh so that’s why you wanted me to come here, you needed a muse?”

He stands up and his taller height makes me lean my head back a bit to glance into his deep sea blueish eyes. Rafayel placed his hand under my chin and moved my face from side to side, appraising my facial features.

“Not necessarily, but your beauty has striked my inspiration. Come here while I paint,” he takes my hand and drags me to the center of his studio.

He has me sit on top of a stool in front of the background of his flowing white curtains as he sets up a canva and easel in front of me.

I sit a bit awkwardly, unsure of what to do with myself. So I kick my feet a bit as Rafayel is pouring the paints he wants to use on his wooden pallet.

His eyes are scanning the scene before him as a mischievous smirk crosses his face, “I think the subject needs more color.”

I look down at my white dress and frown, “Well I didn’t exactly bring anything else.”

He wordlessly strides over to me, and with a paint brush he slashes a stroke of blue paint on my bare arm.

“Hey! Rafayel! What are you doing?!” I shout as he laughs while splashing my skin with more paint.

“I'm just painting on my lovely canvas,” he smirks and then dips his hand in some of the paint on the pallet.

He places his forehead against mine while letting out a shaky breath as his paint covered hand slowly and sensually caresses down my bust to my waist. As his hand is the paint brush that has now ruined my dress, he stops at my waist and grips it.

“Raf,” I whisper as I glance at his plush lips. His eyes were now dark and intimate as he no longer stared at me like his muse, but rather his meal.

He lets out a huff and leans his head down to place a soft kiss at my pulse point in my neck. The only sounds I could hear was the smacking of his lip’s against my skin and the shakiness of my own breath.

I felt his nose drag up against my neck as he then brought his lips to my ear to whisper to me, “You know, when I paint, I prefer to paint subjects in their most natural state…”

He purred in my ear and pulled away a bit as he dipped his hand in his pallet and proceeded to set it down as he covered both hands in colors.

“Rafayel,” I said in a warning tone as he now has both of his hands on my body and ruined my dress with shades of blues and purples. “You owe me a new dress.”

He looks down at the paint covering my arms and seeing his hand prints on the dress he hums and nods, “You’re right….Let’s get this canvas to her natural state then.”

Before I could process what he meant by that, he had unzipped my dress and removed it off my body. I let out a yelp as the cold air touched my now exposed skin.

“This too,” he grumbled and popped my bra off immediately.

As I sat on this stool naked in nothing but my panties with wet paint covering my arms, I looked at him annoyed as my face with hot with embarrassment, “Shouldn’t you stop fooling around and actually work on your painting?” My eyes glance to the now abandoned easel he had set up.

His hands were all over my skin, his soft fingertips gently tracing paths around my breasts and sternum, leaving color in its wake. “But I am working on my painting dearest, it’s already beautiful,” he says in a whisper before leaning down to capture one of my plump mounds in his mouth.

I wrap my legs around him and let out whimpers as his tongue swirls around my sensitive bud. His face is now getting paint on it from the trails his fingers left behind earlier.

As he pulls away from my breast with a smack he stares up at me as he goes to give the other one attention. My face contorts as the feeling of his lips breaks my composure. His deep eyes are drinking in my expression as his mouth works on me and I close my eyes and turn my head away to hide from his intense gaze.

Rafayel pulls away and moves my head to face him, leaving more stains of paint as he does, “Look at me.” His voice sounds deeper than his usual teasing tone and is full of command.

I open my eyes and as I do he leans in and kisses me with a fierce intensity. His hands cup my jaw and I wrap my arms around him as his tongue parts my lips and dances in my mouth.

I drag my fingers into his purple hair as he groans into my mouth. When he pulls away I’m panting as our lips are still connected by a strand of saliva. He licks his lips with a smirk and he bites his bottom lip as he takes in my panting and flushed form.

“This is almost the vision I have,” he says as he crouches down to get more paint on his hand. He slides his hands that are wet with fresh colors up my legs as he parts them to have me sit in a straddle pose on the stool. “Beautiful.”

His hands grip my thighs as he stares at the small wet patch that’s dampened my teal cotton panties. Rafayel, like a man possessed, slides his hands underneath both sides of my underwear to slide them off me. My legs follow his path as the cotton is now cast aside and his hands are holding my painted thighs apart to expose my wet center to his vision.

“Now that I’ve painted my canvas, it’s only right that I sign my work,” his voice rumbles as he gets closer and closer to my center and he gives a lick on my slit.

“Raf-“ I pant and go to grab the back of his head, but he stops my movement with a grip on my wrist, “Don’t move or you’ll ruin the portrait.”

He lets my wrist go and dives into my center, drinking in my dripping essence with his thirsty lips. I can’t help but grip the sides of the stool and lean my head back with a moan.

The contrast of his hot mouth on me in comparison to my cold body covered in wet paint made my mind melt. I was drowning in pleasure as I could hear the lewd squelching and smacking of his mouth on my dripping pussy.

I could feel more than hear him growl as I placed my legs on his shoulders and my toes dug into the fabric of his white shirt.

“Gods Rafayel…I’m gonna,” I squeal as I close my eyes and feel his tongue on my clit.

As I focus on my breathing I can feel his tongue make what feels like the shape of an R on my slit, followed by an A then F….

I could feel my lower body tighten and heat up as I was close, “Rafayel please I’m-I…” I sputtered out as he made it to Y in his name.

He pulled away for a moment and his voice was filled with lust, “Come. Let go for me.”

When he went back to my clit and quickly finished spelling his name he then slid his tongue inside my needy hole and I instantly came undone on his mouth with a high pitched moan.

As I was breathing heavily from my orgasm, Rafayel pulled away with half of his face dripping in my juices. He smiled and licked his lips, “Perfect stay like that.”

He stood and rushed over to the actual canvas and quickly began trying to immortalize my pleasure in a painting on his canvas.

Needless to say he had to repose his muse with a few more orgasms to ‘get my expression just right.’

The finished product was me covered in paints of blues and purples and completely fucked out of my mind, while his actual portrait depicted a naked woman being swallowed up by the sea. I was too embarrassed to acknowledge that her pleasured face was what Rafayel saw as he expertly pulled out of me over and over again that day.

~fin~

[pansy-picnics]

First off I need to just mention that your Uknighted dream art is top tier elite and i am in love. Like you have no idea.

Okay, now thats said, do you have any soft ot3 headcanons/scenes that you can imagine happening but can’t figure out how to write etc etc.? 💕

God is all of them an option bc the answer is all of them

I SWEAR I. HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND THOUGHTS TAKING UP SPACE IN MY BRAIN (Both for ukd and for the entire family tbh) that i just CANNOT bring myself to draw or write or anything. If i had the time to be able to draw everything that popped in my head it would be OVER for yall i stg. And then theres my in progress fic i have up right now which i last updated in like (checks notes) January but i swear i’ve been THINKING about updating it again and that counts right

- Ummm. this is just something i find very funny but i absolutely love the idea that before they “Formally” announce their relationship, the public have just been spreading rumors left and right about the princess’s “affair”. cass and rapunzel somehow NEVER notice this but for a while it seems like eugene cant go ANYWHERE without someone either awkwardly being like “Soooo how are things going with the princess ^_^;;;” or just straight up asking “Hey is your wife cheating on you?” with no hesitation.

and eugene, being the attention whore he is obviously just Went with it and was like “Well yeah duh. Who do you think set them up”

EVERYONE GOES CRAZY.

before long literally EVERYONE has heard about it. rapunzel’s fucking Parents have heard about it. people in other KINGDOMS have heard about it. Meanwhile eugene’s having the time of his Life. He’s got disguises just to go in and listen in on the servants’ gossip. at this point he’s just started Making shit up and every day he’s spreading a proposition thats somehow even more absurd than the last. Most of them don’t even make sense. Like “Oh yeah no the reason rapunzel and cass are always sneaking off together isn’t because they’re having a steamy love affair it’s actually because they’ve been making blood sacrifices to the underworld to make sure zhan tiri never returns. Just girl things yk?”

“No see you’ve got it all wrong thats not cassandra at all. That’s shorty. He and rapunzel are having a book club together. It’s not going very well because shorty keeps eating all the books.” Or his personal favorite, “Wait you thought RAPUNZEL was the one having the affair?” gets them EVERY TIME.

Cass and rapunzel finally declare things officially only for everyone to become even MORE confused and they finally realize eugenes been fueling the fire for the past 3 months and he had just Assumed they were already aware of it

eugene: ….Wait you guys didnt know about that?

raps: i

raps: NO????

eugene:

eugene: um. Oops

cass: THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “OOPS”?????

- this is kind of random but i PROMISE its going somewhere bear with me. In my head eugene is NOT the captain of the guard because a character becoming a cop is literally a fate worse than death. instead i like to imagine he does some kind of social work and is also an author…Eugene has a rlly strong connection to literature and is a great storyteller, hes got a flair for the dramatic and a strong imagination and seeing how much the flynn rider books meant to him in his childhood, i think he’d absolutely want to create something like that for other people 🥹

Anyways one of my favorite ideas w them is a modern au where rapunzel and eugene are both starving artists who are making a webcomic together…Eugene is still trying to publish his first novel and is writing for the comic in the meantime. theyre aspiring towards turning it into a graphic novel. Cass is literally just forcing everyone around her to read it. You’ve already read it? Read it again /J. She’s their number one hypeman but she’s trying to act sooo chill about it to keep up her Cool stone cold butch aesthetic. She’s like going to cons with them and hands out business cards and helps sell merch and she has a side account on twitter where she gets into heated arguments with anyone who hateposts about it.

Bonus points: it’s a fantasy comic about a lost princess, her knight girlfriend and her rogue boyfriend and is loosely a reference to the events of the canon show

- OH OH something that DEFINITELY fits this category has to be the girls taking eugene to the lagoon for the first time…….I think cass and rapunzel still spend a lot of dates there just the two of them, and no matter what it is very much Their Spot ™, but after things become official it just. Doesn’t really feel right to keep it exclusively between them anymore. i have a LOTTTT of thoughts on this…..rapunzel bouncing around and showing everything to him and cass just being dragged along for the ride…picnics together by the water while cass and raps are eagerly telling him all the stories of what he missed out on. it’s their quiet place i think they escape to whenever they don’t want to be bothered at the castle LOL. eugene officiates the cassunzel wedding there….. not to mention if/when they have kids 🥹 Augh. They make sooo many memories there i think🫶🫶🫶

- Not a specific scene so much as just a silly hc but rapunzel LOVES it when they “fight” over her. Usually it’s just a playful thing and rapunzel finds it so cute and endearing. They have the exact same banter every time and the same fake “duel” for her hand and raps will NEVER get tired of it

- oh and SPA DAYS. God cassandra’s self care routines by herself have always been SHIT. I love that girl but i think she absolutely reeks. Her hair looks like something died in it and whenever it gets too long she just grabs the nearest sharp object and cuts it off in one swoop. Eugene and rapunzel are UTTERLY horrified by this and they do not let that shit fly as soon as she’s living with them. They have little self care nights at least once a week, sometimes just with the three of them and sometimes the rest of the family gets into it too, it depends on the day. eugene helps do her hair for her and they pick out all sorts of fancy products for her skin and her curls and just absolutely SPOIL her. at first shes kinda whiny about it but once she realizes how much better she feels on a day to day basis she reluctantly apologizes for ever doubting them

[tavyliasin]

Fanfiction and Profit

Hello loves~ I’ve seen this pop up now and then, about fanfiction and commissions, profit and whether we can pay someone to write the fic we want to read. Unfortunately, I have to be the bearer of bad news:

You absolutely, unequivocally, cannot and should not pay or be paid for fanfiction.

Why not? Well, let’s go over this topic with a look at what fan works are, how we can use them, and where these rules came from.

Why can’t we profit from our hard work? Is this fair?

There are a lot of reasons, and I want to start off with saying this is not about whether it is fair or right, it is a simple statement of the rules by which our hobby, our passion, is permitted to live and thrive. The law does not consider fanfiction to be transformative enough to be legal to profit from, and you will find that AO3 itself explicitly does not allow payment, commissions, or any direct payment sites to be linked on the platform.

I’ll say that one again - it is fully against AO3’s Terms and Conditions to advertise any paid work on the website. You will be warned by moderators if you’re found doing this, and may risk entirely losing your account.

It’s essentially legally complex. The only reason we are allowed to write and share fanfiction at all is because it is non profit. We can’t be sued for making money from someone else’s intellectual properties if we’re not making any money from it.

Why are fan art, songs, and other mediums allowed to profit when we can’t?

This is another piece of nuance for you, which not everyone will agree with. Art is considered to be more transformative, and is generally viewed differently as a medium.

But I will also say here we can look at it purely from a business angle, the legal side that the IP rights holder will be viewing it from too: Fan art can often attract people in to a fandom, to find out who this interesting character is or what the source of the art was. It adds profit to the original creator by bringing new fans to the table.

Fanfiction, on the other hand, is almost exclusively read by people who have already consumed the original media and are looking for new stories. I would argue it is exceptionally rare for someone to read fic before they’ve engaged with the source material. Fic often relies on the reader knowing the characters and stories already, so we can shorthand the exposition and everyone understands what’s going on and why.

When did this become the rule?

The “Elders” of fanfiction will give you a thousand yard stare with this one, because it largely comes back to JRR Tolkien’s estate and Anne Rice. Both were very unhappy with fanfiction existing at all, and are the reason why you might well still see disclaimers at the top of some fics mentioning that all characters, worlds, etc belong to the original rights holders and the work is one of fanfiction that the author does not profit from in any way. Tolkien’s estate and Anne Rice both set legal challenges against fanfic writers, threatening the entire hobby and setting legal precedents at the end of it for what we can and cannot do. What we can do? Write transformative works, based on existing IPs, and share them for free with no profit or money exchanged at any point.

But what about exchanges?

You can offer to exchange fic for fic, or swap art and fanfic. This isn’t getting paid because you aren’t profiting from it, but if you want to encourage someone and be encouraged in return, that is a potential way to do it. So an artist might draw a scene, character or pairing that you love, whilst you write a fic for them. It’s swapping a gift for a gift in that way, and although you could assign monetary value to commissioned art, you aren’t actually exchanging money. It might seem like a bit of a loophole, but it is one that rights holders shouldn’t be able to be upset by really. I can’t see myself how a legal challenge could be raised for damages on that basis, so it should be safe. If you’re not an artist yourself but do want to see something specific from a writer, you could offer to commission art on their behalf in exchange for the fic. It’s imperfect, but in the end you’re supporting both an artist and a writer in that exchange, even if the writer is only gaining a product instead of money, as long as they're not selling it on again.

What if I want to commission someone to write something I want to read?

Well, unfortunately, if you want them to write fanfiction, that’s not possible. You may find some writers are willing to take on prompts, though! Tumblr can be a good one for that, as writers sometimes specify that their ask boxes are open for fic prompts that they might consider writing. You can also try approaching a writer who has written in a style you like and as if they would be willing to write a piece based on your idea or pairing, though you should double check what pairings and topics they’re comfortable writing first.

Isn’t there anything I can do with my writing skills?

Plenty of things! You can use fanfiction as a way to warm up into writing skills in general. Get some practice, feedback, and validation to know you’re on the right track. It’s a wonderful low pressure way to get a feel for fiction writing in general and work out what kinds of stories you’d like to tell.

In some cases, you might be able to take a fanfic you have written and rewrite it to become something original - this might need a lot of work in changing enough names and details for it to become removed from the IP that it was initially based on, but this is certainly something people have done in the past. Most famously, 50 Shades of Grey (my opinions of which are astronomically low for so many reasons, but this is not the place for those) began life as a Twilight fanfiction. 

Writing original fiction will always have its own unique challenges, and is a different experience to fic. For one thing, you need to establish your setting and characters because your readers don’t know them yet. Another that many find tough is going through the writing process without any feedback from beta readers or getting kudos from published chapters. Then, of course, publishing is its own beast… But if you want to profit from writing, then you need to either have a paid role as a writer on a specific IP project, or you need to write your own works and look at getting them published (the main 3 options would be self pub, indie publishers, or trad pub - they all have their pros and cons for different things, so it’s something to do proper research on before committing to any one path).

I found someone offering paid fic, what should I do?

I recommend gently warning them. Not everyone is aware of the risks, so giving them a kind heads up is probably the best bet. You can even direct them to this post if you like, to save re-explaining it all. If they don’t listen, then unfortunately you may need to report their account to AO3 so the moderators there can give them a more formal warning that might be taken more seriously. I have no doubt that the AO3 mods will be able to explain it more clearly and concisely than I can, too.

I have taken payment for fic in the past, what should I do?

First, I'm not here to blame you. Not everyone knows the rules or history - that's why I'm here to share the explanation for anyone who didn't know~ But what you need to do now is immediately stop any offers to take commissions for fanfiction. Scrub your AO3 of any links to payment sites, and remove any reference to "commission" or "paid work" in your writing wherever it is shared. Clean everything up so you are safe from any legal repercussions, and you may need to refund any incomplete commissions. Take a look at the other ways you might be able to earn from your writing, or options for exchanges you might be happy with for writing something bespoke for someone else. We can't change what has already been done, but we can move forward when we know better so we can do better.

Conclusion? Where are we with fic and profit?

The bottom line is the same as the top - for the safety of our fandom communities, we must never accept or offer payment for fanfiction. Doing so not only risks the individual author, but the entire community as a whole. We might not agree with it, and that’s not the conversation I’m here to have, but this is the way things are. It’s not something that can be changed, so we should respect the playground we are in and take care not to end up having the whole place torn down. Fanfic writing is a hobby, and one that brings us a whole lot of community, joy, creativity, and a way to extend the love of a franchise far beyond the ending of the canon content. We get to create and play with all kinds of toys in the toybox in whatever ways we like - that’s special, and I feel we should respect and protect that.

So, we’ll end it here - go, have fun writing, build your skills and style, find and delight your readers, just keep in mind everything that got us here and everything in the future that we want to preserve~

[allyheart707]

The honest answer is just... years of practice. With this comic as well, I have been improving so much because I have had to draw SO much and I challenge myself to draw things I may not be as good at such as action scenes or weird angles/positions.

As for suggestions on anyone else making a fanfic/AU, my advice would be to JUST DO IT!

Make it! No matter how bad your art is, or how stupid your idea may be. It will bring new things to a fandom that is already so full of life and creative and make it alive-r and creative-r, and will help you improve (so long as your willing to challenge yourself and accept criticism). Even if this story/au isn't perfect, it will teach you how to make your next one better!

Not getting views or interaction is discouraging as hell so if you EVER have anything you want me to look at/interact with- please send it my way! (I cannot promise I will keep up with it with how busy I am, BUT I will try and comment/like it and give it the love it deserves!)

I love seeing new artists start their journey and explore ways to tell the stories they want to tell, or old artists falling in love with a new project- so I would love to see whatever it is- no matter the skill level!

So- in conclusion-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

DO IT! SLAM THAT MARY SUE TURTLE OC / WELL THOUGHT OUT AU / NONSENSE ADHD DOODLES OF YOUR IDEAS ON MY DESK IMMIDEATLY AND LET ME LOVE IT!

ps- doesn't even have to be turtle related, could just be fun completely original characters/stories-

[rinion-b]

since we're about to hit the end of the year soon, and since i've been too busy with dev work to draw much recently, i've been putting some of my thoughts together on my relationship with art, social media, and all that.

like a lot of kids, i did some drawing and painting during my middle and highschool years. unlike a lot of kids, i was homeschooled. not having a social circle to pick up interests from meant two things: i rarely had to deal with people on a day-to-day basis unless they were my family (yay), and my life felt very boring (not yay). the art subjects, and being forced into a dichotomy of acrylic and watercolor as my main options, did not help.

it took me until the middle of college to start drawing for real. that year was the start of a lot of things for me, and tbh a big part of it was simply having other people that i didn't mind being around, even if i never truly connected with them. anyway, i made some assets for a tabletop game, and at that point i was following enough artists to know at least vaguely the kinds of things that i wanted to draw.

if i look at my files, i've been drawing for a bit over 2 years now. and there's undoubtedly a lot of improvement from when i started (i can only stand to look at like 2-3 drawings from back then, aside from the studies).

i do still want to go back to painting things like this eventually, but for the life of me i cannot figure out how to render a character or a full scene like this.

anyway, that's year 1. i started posting some stuff to twitter, and did mostly fanart or studies where i could find the time. i definitely noticed that i had a bit of an unhealthy relationship forming already with social media (i may not be diagnosed with ADHD, but the way notification indicators make me behave is a big reason i suspect i have it). i also started to fall off of drawing fanart of large, popular vtubers because, well... i'm not sure actually. the artificial interaction inflation from a vtuber fanart is definitely one part of it, but i also started to make friends within an indie vtuber's fanbase/friend circle which made me realize i was being a bit parasocial about one or two larger vtubers and hit the brakes there.

also, this was from an event from an art server where we did blind/telephone style chara design iteration off a picture of jewelry, and that opened my eyes to how much fun having an OC can be compared to being constrained by an existing design. (i do still have issues with fanart because i don't entirely understand how to adapt an existing design to my style the first few times i draw it.)

now, to take a slight detour, all this was happening on twitter or discord. i had used tumblr back in the day, but i barely posted anything and never really kept up with the popular stuff happening. until recently it was also still sort of weird memories because i never the friend group i had from back then... not going into detail, but there are some interesting types out there, and we all kind of grew apart until the group fractured and just sort of fell apart.

coming back here to start posting, even if all i have at the moment is reposting older art, is super comfortable and a bit nostalgic. that return also fell at a time where i had time and a proper idea for updating my personal site, and i do think that i'll be implementing a bit of a blog there as well. i don't mind getting personal on social media, but it's impossible to do easily on twitter and even here i'd prefer to never get notified that people i don't know interact with my more personal posts.

so that sort of brings the story to the current year. having a job makes it pretty hard to keep up with the friends i've made the way i want to, but i don't see myself ever going fully freelance because of how easily i burn out from outside pressure to create. i have a few OCs that i want to continue to flesh out, and i think my main goal for the near future is to evolve my art more with their designs until i can really say i like my ability to render a character and a scene at the same time (i have some ideas, but i need the time to tackle them, and to do a lot of studies).

next year, i want to focus on streaming at least a couple times a month after i get some graphics finished (or even before, and just work on those on stream). i want to just get a lot better at art. illustration is a lot of fun once i can get out of the sketch phase, and i also have dabbled a bit in animation, but 3D is also on the table for game dev purposes and also just character modeling (it's really cool i want models of my OCs and i'm a very DIY kind of person). oh and VR too.

basically, i guess next year is my year to push for being a little more "self-sufficient" and also self-indulgent, i suppose. also been picking up the guitar again recently, and might be buying a bass soon. the more time i spend having fun/working on things and the less time i spend looking at socmed notifications, the better it is for me.

[maadhyam333]

15th Of March

Friday

Black lines cannot be hidden by silver linings.

Pink and Yellow is still showing wherever I go. There is something beautiful in coloring the world in your colors, I have learnt again and again to look at colors wherever I go. Black and White when I was a child, Grey when I saw within. In the friends I made, the flowers I picked, opaline pastels in my lovers and Red when with my blood.

Why must I brush apon every moment? I don't recall a master teaching me the intricacies of watercolor, I do recall a drawing I made of hills, a sun and clouds. The sun was purple, the grass was blue. I don't remember what the clouds were, clouds change their colors every hour. Colors never made me feel much either. Beauty I could behold and the 7 billion shades that walk our earth have tones i keep noting each time, even they could barely reach inside places of my heart.

How do I paint on top of black? Coats of primer stop black from bleeding through but a trained eye will tell you the difference in the color on top of it. Is that why I find it hard to hide black when it occurs? I try to admire the whole piece instead of the single shade, color theory told my brain to admire the visual aesthetics and appreciate the depth behind an artists choice. But does the color of a scene equate the totality of A Hero's Journey? We are more than the colors we paint in the world around us. And throughout my entire life, I've never managed to find what color it is that the world paints upon me?Thoughts tell me sometimes that I could be a shade of black layered again and again by coats of primer and the thousands of colors these 'broken' artists leave apon my soul and when I wrote this out another thought showed my soul akin to that of a dove fleeting from the ground away from thousands of hands trying to sign a color on my body! Oh god am I tired of painting each instance, and not a single part of me wants to break away. Colors have made my life seem akin to a moment in the Isles of Bliss. And when I have left this body I shall know I tried to bring my pink and yellow wherever I went :'), but my brush shall never run out of paints. The polychromaticness of a brain dulls any black I see, and my bliss of ignorance for my color suffices for now. The art of a life lived in color can never truly end, I tell myself

[not-so-secret-poet]

I just want to be an artist.

I want to be an animator. I want to be an artist. I want to be part of these gorgeous fictional worlds, I want to create these worlds. I want to help these worlds grow. I want animation to be part of my life, I want to be a voice actor.

I want to be a musician, I want to do all these things. But I'm no good at any of it. I can't draw, so I hate drawing. I'm terrible at art, so I hate anything that involves panting.

I've wanted nothing more than to be part of the animation scene, I've wanted to be the one who holds the pen. The one who brings vibrant stories to life, the one who colors each frame, the one who shades every shadow. The one that watches it back over a million times to check that I've gotten it right.

I want to be the one who participates in this monotonous task. I want nothing more than to be an animator. Whether it's for a company or just my projects. I just can't draw. I'm awful at it, I want to create beautiful pieces of art.

I want to draw so badly, and I know I can always start learning. But it's difficult because I feel like I'll never live up to the standards I've constructed for myself. I want to put in the time, effort, and love for this gift.

Yet I just can't bring myself to do so. All my life art has been someone else's "thing", their forte, not mine. I used to draw when I was younger, and the amount of backlash I got was detrimental. It's not fair, all I've wanted was to be part of creating movies, shows, and media.

I want to make something that makes people pause and think, I want to make something that makes people wish they could do the same. I want to be a child's inspiration, I want to be the gateway to a child's love for animation.

I want children to look at my work and believe that they can do the same. No matter what age. I want teens to feel moved and motivated, I want adults to think about their philosophy. I want elders to think that their time on earth wasn't so bad.

I want people to see me and my work and say something about it. I want them to feel something because of it. I want them to appreciate each breath they take. I want to bring entertainment, love, and pure unadulterated freedom to their hearts.

Yet, I am too old. It all goes downhill from here. In a few years, I will be taking care of corpses. I'll be guiding them to their grave, and watching them descend. Always reminded that I will be next. I will die, never achieving my dream, my passion, my every purpose.

I cannot be okay with that, but I am. I'll be on my deathbed, knowing my story will forever be unfinished. This is the bed I've made for myself. Only not willingly, it's the path I was forced to take. And there's nothing I can do about it. I do not feel like I can do it, I'm too self-critical.

I can't live with myself if I fail to reach my expectations. I am too scared to try because I know I can't handle the heartbreak. It would hurt too much for me, and it's easier to feel unfulfilled than to be let down.

It's not like I don't enjoy this career I've chosen. This isn't what I envisioned for myself. Since I was a child, I always saw myself as an artist. I don't know when that exactly changed, but I do know that I don't wish to care for the dead for the rest of time. I just want a stable living, I just want to be safe.

I don't want to be imprisoned by my stupid mistakes. I don't have an out here, I have nothing to fall back on. I'm too far deep. It physically hurts to think about this, my chest aches, and my tears keep stinging my eyes. I'm panicking.

I always come back to the hope that in one universe, I am an animator. Even if it's not this one. All I want is to bring love and entertainment to the masses. I'm scared to grow up. I'm not made for this.

[ronaldanthony4]

I brought my digital art skills to new heights by creating another breath-taking masterpiece. This time, I decided to delve into the world of my beloved original characters, Arlon and Liliana. These two figures hold a profound significance in my heart as they symbolise the epitome of romantic love in my imagination. With every brushstroke, I poured my emotions onto the canvas, capturing their passionate connection and intricate details. Building upon my previous artwork, where they were portrayed in exquisite prom attire, Arlon looked dashing in a sleek black tuxedo, while Liliana radiated elegance in a mesmerising white ballgown.

In this new artwork, I decided to capture them in a different light. I portrayed them engaged in a graceful and gentle sway dance, the kind of dance that symbolises the deep connection and harmony between two people in love. Their bodies moved effortlessly together, and their eyes locked in a tender gaze that spoke volumes of their love for each other. The soft brushstrokes and delicate colour palette added an ethereal quality to the painting, emphasising the timeless beauty of their bond. This dance is the cornerstone of a series of artworks I plan to create, all centred around Arlon and Liliana's beautiful sway dance.

My inspiration for this series draws from the enchanting dance scene in the Studio Ghibli film "When Marnie Was There." In that film, the characters Anna and Marnie share a dance under the moonlight, a scene that left a lasting impression on me. The way their movements flowed seamlessly together as if they were one entity, captivated me. I wanted to capture that same sense of unity and grace in my artwork, using Arlon and Liliana as my muses. Additionally, the soft lighting and dreamlike atmosphere of the film inspired me to create a similar ambience in my paintings, transporting viewers to a world where time stands still and love is eternal.

I am thrilled to be working on this series and cannot contain my excitement. Originally, I planned to start creating these artworks in February, as it coincides with the month of love. However, I was struck by a burst of inspiration and simply couldn't wait any longer to bring these creations to life. The colours and composition of the film have also influenced my artistic style, pushing me to experiment with new techniques and perspectives. As I immerse myself in this project, I can already feel the emotions and stories behind each painting taking shape.

Alongside my creative endeavours, I've also been crafting a story based on this scene. It's deeply inspired by the Studio Ghibli masterpiece that sparked my imagination. However, I've chosen to keep this narrative close to my heart for now, sharing it only with a select few friends, pending their permission. The process of crafting this story has been a cathartic experience, allowing me to explore my own emotions and delve deeper into the themes present in the painting. I believe that once it is ready to be shared with a wider audience, it will captivate and resonate with others who appreciate the beauty and complexity of art.

Life, though, has its share of challenges. As an artist, I find solace and joy in my work, but I'm also preparing to address some important personal matters. I'll soon be visiting a mental health centre to assess and support my autistic mental health, a journey I'm both anxious and hopeful about. Navigating the complexities of life can be both exhilarating and daunting. As an artist, I have found solace and joy in my work, using it as a means to express my emotions and explore the depths of human experience. This upcoming visit to a mental health centre fills me with a mix of anticipation and hope, as I anticipate gaining valuable insights and finding the necessary support.

On top of that, my creative flow has been interrupted by a technical issue. My trusty Android tablet has started to act up, with its screen flickering unpredictably for an unpredictable length of time. It's a minor inconvenience, but it's amazing how such small disruptions can throw off an artist's rhythm. To resolve the technical issue with my Android tablet, I'm planning to buy an HDMI adapter for it. This will allow me to connect my tablet to a larger screen and continue my creative flow uninterrupted. I am hopeful that this solution will restore the smooth functioning of my tablet and help me get back into my artistic rhythm.

Looking ahead, I'm determined to find a balance between my artistic passions and the demands of employment. I hope that my job won't consume all my time, allowing me to continue devoting myself to the world of art. With the series of Arlon and Liliana's sway dances on the horizon and the promise of personal growth, I eagerly anticipate what the future holds for both my art and myself. I believe that finding this balance will not only enhance my creativity but also contribute to my overall well-being. By prioritising my artistic pursuits, I can maintain a sense of fulfilment and continue to explore new avenues of self-expression.

In conclusion, my personal life and my artistic pursuits are deeply intertwined. One particular series that holds a special place in my heart is the one featuring Arlon and Liliana's tender sway dance. I am filled with excitement as I anticipate bringing their story to life through my artwork. I really want this artwork to be in motion, as it will truly capture the magic of this couple's graceful and loving dance. This artwork will serve as a testament to the enduring beauty of romantic love, even in the face of life's challenges. I invite you to stay tuned for the unveiling of this enchanting piece, and I extend my heartfelt gratitude for joining me on this creative journey.

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

BTS DRABBLE-Jungkook

When your vampire boyfriend admits that he doesn’t know what he looks like, you’re completely flabbergasted. I mean, it makes sense, he doesn’t have a reflection. But you’ve never thought about how he just hasn’t ever seen himself-not in a mirror, or a picture, or even a passing car window. And suddenly, you have an important mission-though you’re no artist, not by any means-you’re determined to draw him as you see him. So he can see himself for once, even if it’s just through your eyes. 

Tags: BTS. Bangtan Boys, Bangtan Seonyendan, Bulletproof Boy Scouts, Beyond the Scene, BTS Drabble, Fluff, Vampire!BTS, Vampire AU, Vampire!Bangtan, Boyfriend AU, BTS x you, BTS x reader, Jeon Jungkook, Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook x you, Jungkook x you, Jeon Jungkook x reader, Jungkook x reader

Genre: Fluff

Title: Through Your Eyes

“Wait, wait, wait.” You sit up, eyes wide, mouth still open, voice laced with honest and shocked surprise. You glance down at the boy still lying on the living room floor beside you, watching you with a slightly amused expression on his beautiful features, and cannot believe you head him right. “So you really honestly have no idea what you look like.” 

Jungkook shrugs casually, as if it’s no big deal. “Nope.” 

But it is a big deal. 

“So you’re telling me-” You cross your legs beneath you and stare down at him hard, trying to compute what he’s telling you and how he’s so relaxed about it all. “You’ve gone your whole life never seeing yourself.” 

“Correct.” Jungkook does that cute, quick little nod of his head that you love, the one that purses his full lips and sends his dark hair bouncing into his caramel eyes. “Vampires don’t have reflections, babe.” He grins at you, the smile lighting up his face, as if he wants to laugh that you haven’t realized this and put two and two together. 

“I know, I know.” You wave your hand in an agitated motion. “I’ve heard that. I know that. But-” You stop for a minute, brows furrowed and lips pursed as you continue to mull over what your boyfriend has just told you. “I’ve just never actually thought about what that meant.” 

Jungkook sits up beside you now, a slight smile still curling his pink lips, and mirrors your position, crossing longs beneath him as he faces you, reaching out to take your hands in his own as he squeezes your fingers reassuringly. “It’s fine, babe. It’s not a big deal. I’ve never been curious enough to care.” 

You cannot believe him. 

Not wanting to know what you look like? Impossible. 

And yeah, maybe you care a little bit too much about what others think about you, but still, Jungkook is being way too nonchalant about this. Right? 

“But you’re so pretty.” You blurt out before you can stop yourself, admiring the way his black hair falls across his forehead, the perfect flow of his flawless tan skin across his bone structure, the contrast of his white straight teeth and pointed fangs against the rose, plump skin of his lips. 

“Ahhhh, babe.” Jungkook replies teasingly, reaching out to poke the end of your nose with his pointer finger, as he flashes you another white, blinding grin. “You think I’m pretty?” 

“Shut up. This is important.” You snap back, and he tries to hide the smile behind a dramatic serious expression that has you fighting back your own desire to giggle and grin. 

A light bulb clicks on in your brain, and has you scrambling to your feet, leaving Jungkook looking after you with a slightly surprised expression on his beautiful face, as you dart down the hall to the bedroom, calling over your shoulder, “Hold on. Stay right there.” 

You reemerge a moment later, a notebook and pen clutched in your hand, and settle back onto the floor facing him, movements determined and focused as you whip open the book to a clean page of paper and click the pen into a ready position. 

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, thoroughly bewildered. 

“Shhh.” You hush him, and reach out to take his chin in your fingers, positioning his head in such a way that it’s easier to see all his features in the sunlight coming in through the apartment window. “Hold still. Don’t talk. Don’t move.” 

Your boyfriend does as he’s told, clamping his jaw closed and sitting as still as possible. 

There is silence in the room for what feels like hours, as you attentively focus on the page before you, swirling the pen across the blank canvas, and only sometimes glancing back up to your muse before you resume your work. 

Jungkook-to his credit-doesn’t ask anymore questions, and is actually a pretty good model-remaining in the same position-until you finally click the pen closed and sit back with a sigh. 

“Done.” You announce, hiding the page from his view, as you glance once more over your labor of love. 

You’re not an artist-not by any means-but as you let your eyes flick from the page to the boy in front of you, even you have to admit, you didn’t do a half bad job. 

The drawing on the page is most definitely one Jeon Jungkook

“Shit, I thought my jaw was gonna clench up if I had to sit still for one more minute.” Jungkook lets the words explode from his mouth as he releases the breath he had been holding, reaching up to massage along his sharp jawline with his fingertips. “Are you gonna tell me what that was all about?” 

“You’ve never seen yourself.” You say mysteriously, and bite back a smile as Jungkook rolls his eyes in a good natured sort of way at your vague statement. 

“Right.” He leans back on his hands and stares at you, one dark brow raised in your direction in an obvious expression of bemused exasperation. “We’ve established that.” 

“So-” You glance down at the paper once more, held close to your chest, before you sigh and push it in his direction. “I wanted to draw you. So you can see yourself. At least once. Even if it’s just through my badly rendered impression.” 

Jungkook’s large eyes widen even further if possible as surprise flashes across his face, long fingers brushing yours as he reaches out to take the shyly offered piece of paper. His mouth parts slightly-revealing the sharp tips of his fangs-as if he wants to say something, but can’t think of the words, so he simply lets his gaze drop to the drawing instead. 

You watch him carefully, feeling your cheeks flush slightly, as he intensely studies your caricature in pregnant silence, dark eyes sweeping slowly and meticulously over each detail. 

The large, doe eyes-almond shaped and rimmed with dark lashes-that you love so much, because you can see every emotion he’s ever felt swirling within the black of the blown pupil-as if they’re a window to his heart and soul. 

The perfect slope of his nose that ends just above his full, plush, pink lips-the same lips that part to reveal white, gleaming teeth. 

The same teeth that are one of your favorite parts of him, because when he smiles, they push forward like an adorable bunny, a testament to his happiness and the joy he feels in any given moment. 

The dark, thick hair that falls across his forehead like he has been sculpted by marble-soft and shiny and so fluffy that you always want to have your fingers buried in it-only slightly softening the sharp angles of his high cheekbones and knife like jawline. 

Your heart is pounding now, because it’s been several moments of silence, and you’re worried suddenly that Jungkook thinks you’re crazy, drawing him in such a way that clearly and loudly screams Hey, I’m insanely in love with you!

“Do you-” You start to say, and your words stutter to a halt, because he looks up at you sharply, as if he’d forgotten you were there. You force yourself to continue, swallowing hard. “Do you like it?” 

“Yeah.” He nods, and the word is muted, as if he can’t quite get it to leave the tip of his tongue. He glances down once more at the paper held carefully in his hands. “Do you really see me like this?” 

“I mean-” Your cheeks flush hot and red, and you flick your gaze away from his own as he meets your eyes once more. “I did my best to be accurate but I’m not an artist and I’m not sure if I did a good job-” 

“(Y/N).” 

Your eyes startle upward to his at the serious use of your first name, and it is so rare for him to say it, that you have to remind yourself to breathe as your eyes meet his own dark, unreadable ones, fingers twisting nervously in your lap. 

“Yes?” 

He cocks a brow at you, and holds up the drawing, and you can barely bring yourself to look at it now. “I didn’t ask if this is accurate. I asked if this is really how you see me.” 

“I-” You try to think of how you can play it off, how you can make it into a joke, but the way he’s looking at you makes you answer simply and honestly. “Yes.” 

There is another brief pause in between the two of you-as if the world is holding its breath-and you know, you just know in your gut, that Jungkook is going to call you out, going to acknowledge the fact that the drawing-still held in his hand-lays bare all of your unsaid feelings for him. 

But instead, his eyes crinkle, and his lips part, and his bunny teeth emerge in a large grin, as he glances once more at the picture, before saying lightly, “Wow. I really am pretty.” 

You laugh-and it’s breathless and slightly relieved-and nod. “See. I told you.” 

Jungkook stands, reaching out his free hand to help you up off the floor. “I love it. Thanks, babe.” He leans over to press a kiss to your lips, and you let yourself relax into him for just a second, content in that moment, that he knows everything now, including what he looks like. 

“You can throw that away.” You say shyly, cheeks still warm, as you glance down at the paper still held in his other hand. 

“Are you kidding me?” Jungkook glances over at you with wide eyes. “This is the only portrait I’ll ever have of myself.” He tugs you toward the door, already reaching for the car keys where they hang on the wall. “Shit, we’re going to Hobby Lobby right now to get this masterpiece framed. I’m gonna hang it on the wall in our bedroom.” 

You laugh and he shoots you that adorable grin you love, all front teeth and fangs, and you’re giddy almost, with the fact that Jungkook seems to be happy with the fact that he has now finally seen himself. 

Even if only through your eyes, and the love that lives there. 

[sandycookie]

So... did you like it?? General opinions? Fav moment? Tell me everything, I loved your ep 1 analisys :D

Well, my thoughts are still a bit scattered, but hey i'll dump a bunch of shit down here.

Glad you liked the nose hair clipper analysis! The production of my boredom stricken mind for sure :)

(Prepare for a rather big dump, if I do say so myself)

Ofc, Arcane has been one of the best shows i've watched, period. I wouldn't say it's my favorite (YHH has the spot), but it's getting there.

my favorite part of Arcane has to be the characters. All of them are so well written and detailed, even the side characters, that they all deserve deep dives. Best of all, I can't decide who I want to be my favorite. I love Jinx's antics, Vi's rough and tough demeanor, Caitlyn's stalwart sense of justice, Jayce being a pure hearted dumbass (ironic that from what I've heard, his LOL counterpart is an asshole), Viktor please stop overworking yourself, Ekko bringing epic drip to the table, Heimer being the old wise mentor who ends up being a boomer and it’s one of the best subversions of that troupe I've seen, etc. Yeah, I like all of em', but these are the characters that I can say are contenders for my favorite. Arcane wouldn’t be the same without any of these guys. 

I found that Arcane’s story manages to be complex while being easy to follow. Every story beat seemingly flows together perfectly.

 The runtime of each episode is used very well, and there wasn’t an episode where I felt that any thing really needed more time. 

And the animation?! This is movie quality! I love what they did with the character models especially. It's not low res like a video game character model would be (not those triple A titles ofc), but it's not like those high res character models you'd see from Disney and Pixar. It feels like something in the middle. And it's perfect. Best part of the style is how it all feels like a moving painting. As for the animation, it was a brilliant approach to mix 3D with 2D. The 3D allows for a lot more dynamic camera movements. Even simple camera movements like a shot rotating around a character is something that is absolute torture to animate with pure 2D (it's why AOT uses CGI backgrounds for certain scenes, why the Soul Eater OP is an insane technological wonder because it uses a 3D camera in pure 2D). And then by having things such as character eyes and special effects be 2D allows for a lot more character to shine through it. When it comes to 2D animation, you can pretty much draw anything, so long as you have the artistic ability. Plus, the 2D details aren't as expensive if you say, made them 3D. And it just looks really nice and it's just a gorgeous piece of eye-candy. And the little details too? gimme more. Also I learned that the scene where Vi and Caitlyn go into the brothel and then the ‘you’re hot, cupcake’ thing...apparently the wall slam wasn’t in the original script. it was added in by the animators. Welp, good job them. This is the first ship in a while that I think is rather neat. 

OH GOD THE WORLDBUILDING. I know nothing about LoL other than clicking constantly is engaging gameplay for a ton of ppl, Teemo is considered a menace, it’s got great cinematics and music, and somehow even I can tell this Seraphine person is for cash money and this KDA thingie. But guess what. I didn’t need to know anythingggggggg about LoL. Arcane’s worldbuilding is excellent and so subtle. There isn’t much use of exposition, rather, it leaves the viewer to piece together the little bits and pieces provided through environment and character dialogue and interaction. Arcane’s worldbuilding is soft, and it can be something hard to juggle lest you leave your viewer watching without knowing all of the pieces of the puzzle, but Arcane still manages to do a spectacular job in spite of that. On this, I really cannot give the background artists enough credit. The writers too, ofc, but god i cannot give the enviroments of Arcane in general enough praise. I’ll leave it at: how can something this amazing be crafted. Since I already talked about the nose hair clipper already, a small detail I really love is Caitlyn’s Enforcer uniform. She doesn’t have full sleeves and her thighs are exposed. Yes, this could just be fanservice. But this subtly conveys the privilege of Piltover even more. An Enforcer of all occupations, can show skin, when they should be covered and armed to the teeth. 

I’d also like to mention the voice actors. They blew it out of the park! Especially Jinx’s and Powder’s VA, those two are my favorite performances. Mostly because it sells that she needs a hug and emotional support to overcome the insane amount of trauma she’s had to live through. *cough* i’ll stop

I think one of my favorite moments in all of the series is when Jayce is about to give his speech. He wants Viktor up with him, but Viktor declines, and Jayce doesn’t do much to persuade him. Then, it’s time. Jayce drinks his coffee, and the scene ends with a coffee cup of his face slamming on a table, with Viktor in the frame covered up by it. This 1. Shows that Jayce is beginning to become disconnected from the core of Hextech, and how he’s becoming more of a public figure now 2. Viktor is the one who’s putting in the work on the science. The last one in particular is what I want to talk about. 

I view it as a allegory for how the company name of something is the one given praise to, and the creators themselves muttered in passing. Like, how often do you read or watch a review and when is it ever mentioning the creators outside of general credit? At least when it comes to the casual reviews on YT or something, yes. Not to mention how once you pitch a show or something and get that big company money, even though it’s your own creation, that company ‘owns’ it in a legal sense. IMO, I think that Hextech wouldn’t be anything without Viktor, and not just because he stopped Jayce from committing suicide. Viktor is the one who comes up with the equations and method to get the crystal to stabilize, and with that knowledge Viktor was most likely the main brain behind the safe-use Hextech gemstones, and Viktor was the one who was actively researching the Hexcore. Of course, Jayce is the one who built the foundation, but it was Viktor who went and gave it insulation, stone, and the finishing touch. Yet, it’s Jayce who owns Hextech, who is the public face of progress, who is filthy rich (well, ok, I’m sure Viktor made bank too), who everyone acknowledges. Viktor is always the partner, the back bone. 

But at least with Viktor, he isn’t abused, and he and Jayce are very close friends. And he isn’t being exploited. However, that moment really did help me sum whatever thoughts I had about that. 

Oh, and that ‘Get Jinxed’ scene? Fucking love it. Silco being an angry dad while Jinx just ignores him and vibes is amazing, not to mention it shows how Silco cares for Jinx both through the fact he doesn’t use physical force on her to get her attention (he stands in the background calling her name before silencing the record), and the look on his face when she hugs him. On Jinx’s part, it mostly just establishing what we already knew about her: chaotic, enjoys destruction, boom boom, and that she’s younger mentally (her age is ~17-18 for reference). But what it also does is show that she cares about Silco’s opinion of her. From when he yells about the enforcers to her reaction be an eager nod with a wide open mouthed smile especially. And the hug seals the deal. Yeah, Silco may have failed Jinx in multiple areas (her trauma for one, though it is obvious he does try to help, such as the ‘You need to let Powder die’ scene...I wouldn’t say he’s great at it. also it’s very likely the whole murderous chaotic thing was fed into by him), he does care for her immensely, putting her over Zaun’s independence, because he knows what it’s like to be betrayed. And then the last line of ‘You’re perfect.’...man. I’ll admit I was trying to convince myself that all Silco was doing was manipulating Jinx so he would have a nice destructive puppet. While, yeah, that is partially true IMO, he did have a genuine love for her. Silco is both a bad and great parent. I did like the scene where he talks with Vander’s statue. “There’s nothing more undoing than a daughter.”

Jayce is a really cool character. Like. I love what he functions as. Jayce himself? Not a bad guy at all. But he ain’t a politician. But against his wishes- d’oh! Council member now. His gradual shift in Act 2 is what really makes his character for me. At first, he uses his power to shut down the illegal act of the other Council members and high ranking families. But as we can see, that only works against him. It’s only because of Mel that he was able to stop opposition. However, that entire scene, where he gets more and more comfortable with shaking the hands of this greedy people is a begrudging acceptance I feel. In order to do good, Jayce must become a politician. And to be a politician, most of if not all the time, is to be slimy. I have more to say, but this whole thing is mostly just floating around my head in scenes begging to be put together. 

Finally...to end all of this: the theme of class division. I don’t have much to comment on it, because I feel by just watching Arcane you get a good enough idea of what you’re ultimately being told: privilege isn’t bad, but how often does it actually help? A lot of topsiders are ignorant to the struggles of Zaun, and indulge in their arts and sciences. And plenty of them have a lot of prejudice against the undercity, no matter how terribly founded those beliefs are, no matter if they’ve never met a person from there and stepped a foot in there. Yeah, it’s pretty obvious what the parallel here is: rich people and people stuck in poverty. The rich and privileged from birth look down upon the people who are born or fall down into poverty with a variety of reactions: but a common sentiment would be “I’m far better.” But are you? The man who plays with a children’s toy at a Council meeting? And then much of the time, the fault is put upon the people in poverty, not the system. To the eyes of the rich, the ones in poverty are in there because they are lazy, criminals, and deserve it for their actions. Meanwhile, while there are people where this is the case, a large part of it would be they systems and society created to allow this many people who merely were down on their luck be this poverty stricken. There’s a lot more to say about this, but I feel this topic is much to intricate to sum up in a paragraph or two. 

And there you go. These are most of my general thoughts on Arcane. 

[bitchin-beskar]

Spidey Sense

Fandom: The Old Guard

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: So the original prompt for this was something along the lines of: "hey, what if Joe and Nicky keep pictures of each other in their wallets to remind them of why they're doing this whenever they have to be apart" and this was born from that. Enjoy!

Tags: @theocatkov, @cosmicbug379, @marydjarin @perropascal

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Gazing down at the image of the love of his life, forever immortalized by his hand, never failed to bring a smile to Joe’s lips. His drawings would never be as magnificent, as breathtaking as looking at Nicky with his own two eyes, but whenever they were apart, he had to make do with images drawn by his hand. 

Slipping the small slip of paper back into his wallet, Joe flipped it shut and slid it into one of his many pockets. He hated going on missions without Nicky, but this particular job had required his expertise in infiltrating one building while Nicky’s skills as a sniper were required four blocks away. It was unfortunate, but not the first time it had happened, and it likely wouldn’t be the last. 

When Copley had informed them of the job, he’d made sure they knew that he’d been unable to get any estimates on the number of guards they’d have to deal with. It made Joe uneasy, but they’d gone through with it anyways. Some tech company was trying to use their software to hack into the Pentagon to steal the locations of missile silos located all over the US. The government was very concerned about this threat, and so Copley had called them in.

Joe was supposed to create a distraction at the main headquarters, drawing the company’s attention and thus, allowing Nicky to eliminate guards at the warehouse that housed the company's main servers, which would then allow Nile and Booker to get in and plant explosives. Boom! No more servers, no more threat.

Nicky had been worried about Joe causing a distraction when they didn’t know the amount of guards, but Joe had tried to soothe his beloved’s fears as best he could. 

“Habibi,” he’d said, hand resting on Nicky’s waist, holding him close. “I will be fine. And if anything were to go wrong, I know that you will not allow them to hold me for long.”

Nicky had leaned his forehead against Joe’s, one of his many, silent, I love you’s that he bestowed upon Joe throughout the day. “I would prefer it if nothing goes wrong.”

“As would I.”

***

Nicky had been right to worry, and Joe knew he would never hear the end of it. There had been twice as many guards as Copley’s estimate, and even with Joe’s healing, and centuries worth of experience, he’d quickly been overwhelmed. They’d knocked him out–although, perhaps they’d killed him, Joe wasn’t entirely sure–and when he woke, he was chained to a metal chair, bolted in the middle of an all white room.

His first thought had been something along the lines of how poor of a choice it was to put him in an all white room, as it undoubtedly would become quite the grotesque scene when Nicky arrived. Blood clashed so horribly on white walls, and Nicky could get quite ferocious whenever Joe was threatened. 

His second thought was on the fact that even while bound, he could tell that his wallet was no longer in his pocket. That, in of itself was of no consequence, practically everything in it was fake–it was hard to have valid ID’s and such when you were an immortal warrior born nine hundred years ago–but there was one precious item in that wallet. 

The drawing of Nicky was one of many, but that didn’t mean it was any less special. Joe had saved every single scrap of paper he’d ever drawn Nicky’s likeness on, and while some had aged beyond recognition, he hadn’t had the heart to let any of them go. He knew that Nicky similarly had many, many photographs and paintings of him. Nicky always professed that he wasn’t as artistically inclined as Joe, but every time Nicky sketched him, Joe could see the love and care that went into each piece of art, and he fell in love with Nicky all over again. 

He was jolted out of his musings by the door opening violently, slamming against the wall. He didn’t react outwardly, instead analyzing each of the men that walked into the room. Ten men entered, the last, an older man with grey in his hair, shut the door behind him, making a show of locking it. Joe wanted to scoff. These men didn’t intimidate him in the slightest, and they would have to try a lot harder if they wanted to get a reaction out of him.

“Who sent you?” 

Joe laughed. So this is how they were doing this. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The man scowled, the expression twisting his features into a mask of hatred. “I don’t like your attitude, kid.” 

Joe laughed even harder at that, his body shaking with mirth, although his eyes were cold as ice. “I’m not quite as young as I look,” he chuckled under his breath, watching as the other men shuffled awkwardly. They clearly feared the older man, and he could see in some of their eyes that they feared for him if he continued to antagonize their leader. 

There was a sharp crack, and Joe’s head snapped to the side, the backhand delivered with an impressive amount of force. It might’ve hurt, if Joe hadn’t lived as long as he had, and had experienced far worse. Still, he kept up appearances. The longer these men were unaware of his healing and his immortality, the better. 

“Who sent you?” 

Joe grins, the perfect picture of innocence. “Who says anyone sent me? Perhaps I decided to come all by myself?” He probably shouldn’t be antagonizing this man, but he’s having too much fun. 

The man snaps his fingers, and one of the other men rushes forward to hand him something. Joe recognizes it as his wallet, watching as the man flips through it, pulling out his driver’s license. “Joseph Jones? Is that even your name?” The man scoffs. “Why were you trying to break in?”

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to break in.” The man looks confused for all of two seconds before Joe opens his mouth again. “I’d already broken in. Your men found me after I got in.” Joe can’t help but brag a little, because, well, their security was shit, but also because he was trying to stall for time, so that Nile and Booker could get in and out without any issues. “You really shouldn’t have picked white walls you know, white stains so easily–”

He gets another backhand for his efforts, and the man in front of him actually growls. He goes back to pawing through Joe’s wallet, and Joe can feel his heart stop when the man pulls out Joe’s drawing of Nicky. 

The man looks at it, and it’s clear he doesn’t know what to think at first. He studies the drawing, and Joe can feel sparks of anger igniting in his chest, although he tries not to show it. The man suddenly laughs, and it’s a cruel, mocking laugh. He shoves the drawing at one of the other men before turning back to Joe, a cruel smirk on his face. 

“How cute,” he sneers. “Mr. Jones keeps a picture of his boyfriend in his wallet.” The man spits on the ground at Joe’s feet. “God, that’s disgusting.”

Anger clouds Joe’s vision, bubbling up in his chest like rising magma before bursting forth from his mouth before he can stop it.

“Boyfriend? Boyfriend? Nicolo is not my boyfriend,” he spits, fire burning in his eyes. “You are a narrow-minded, childish, little man. Nicolo means more to me than all the stars in the sky. He has been my light, my heart, for over nine hundred years, and he will continue to be my light and my heart for nine hundred more. I have fought a thousand battles by his side, I have gone to war to protect him just as he has for me. There will always be those who try to separate us, those who cannot possibly understand the depth of my love for that man, and yet,” he pauses, a dark smirk on his face as some of the men step back in fear. “Those who try always end up dead. No, Nicolo is not my boyfriend. He’s all and he’s more.”

***

Nicky was in the middle of dismantling his rifle when he felt it. It didn’t even take him a moment before he recognized the feeling. It was the feeling he always got whenever Joe would make grand declarations of love, which, admittedly, happened quite often. While Nicky was more reserved when it came to lyrical speeches, Joe had no such qualms, and would gladly shout to the heavens–and had done so, multiple times–about his love for Nicky. 

Just as he was reaching for his phone to call Copley–because clearly something had to be wrong if Joe was waxing poetic about Nicky when Nicky wasn’t even in the same building–the phone buzzed.

Nicky didn’t even have time to greet Copley before the man was launching into an explanation. “Nicky, I’m sorry, there were too many guards, Joe’s been captured. They’re holding him somewhere in the building, but I don’t have eyes inside.” 

“I’m on my way.” 

Sending a quick message to Nile and Booker, informing them of what happened, Nicky finished packing up his gear quickly, leaving his spot on the roof and descending the fire escape as fast–and safely, he’d be no good to Joe if he executed a swan dive off the fifth story–as possible.

***

Joe could feel his mouth filling with blood, so he leaned forward and spat some on the ground. Apparently the older man hadn’t been too pleased with being insulted, and he ordered his men to get answers out of Joe, while he watched. 

The beating, while not one of the worst he’d experienced, had not been pleasant. Thankfully, the men hadn’t seemed to realize Joe was slowly healing from their attacks, but sooner or later they would get suspicious. He hoped one of the others would get here before that happened, he really didn’t like dying alone.

He’d just been punched repeatedly in the stomach when the man doing said punching stopped. Joe was confused, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain about a reprieve. 

“What?” Barked the older man, pushing himself off the wall and stalking forward. “What is it?” The younger man shook his head, looking around. 

“Did anyone else–?” 

He cuts off when a loud bang sounds from outside the door. All of the men turn to look at the door, missing as a smile spreads across Joe’s bloody lips. Another bang sounds, louder than before, closer than before, and some of the men jump.

“What do you think it is?” One of them whispers, and before anyone can answer, something heavy slams into the bolted door from the outside. The whole door seems to shake in it’s frame, and it’s only made worse by the sudden scream of pain. 

There’s a sudden onslaught of noise, bangs, screams, gunshots, and crashes and–was that a cat screeching? The men all back away slowly from the door, hands on their weapons, but nothing could have prepared them for the way the door was blasted off its hinges, flying into the room and taking out two of the men. 

There’s a sudden burst of gunfire, taking out three more of the men before they can react. Watching their companions fall around them, the remaining four men all aim for the door, shooting wildly at a target they can’t even see. The older man, the leader, unlocks Joe’s cuffs only to pull him upright, pressing a knife against his neck, using Joe’s body as a human shield.

Joe rolls his eyes. If only this man knew how ineffective Joe would be at being a human shield. He watches with interest as the men stop firing, only for a knife to fly through the air and embed itself in one of the guard’s skulls. The others start firing again, but even though it's three against one, they’re no match for a furious Nicolo di Genova. Bursting into the room in a flurry of movement, Joe watches, fascinated–and more than a little turned on–as Nicky becomes a whirlwind, attacking violently with his longsword, cutting down the three men–with violent efficiency–who stand between him and Joe. 

The older man presses his blade tighter against Joe’s neck, but Nicky doesn’t even blink. Joe stomps on the man’s foot, and Nicky puts a bullet in his brain, quick as you please. The knife cuts Joe as he moves, but it’s certainly not life-threatening, so he’s unconcerned. 

Joe looked around the room, taking in the blood and guts and gore that decorate the white walls and floor and ceiling. “I told them that white was a bad choice, blood stands out far too much–” Nicky strides across the room, and kisses Joe hard, before he can get another word out. Joe grasps Nicky’s face with his blood covered hands, bringing him even closer, moaning as his beloved steals the breath from his lungs. 

Nicky pulls away, but only just, his forehead resting against Joe’s. “Yusuf, amore mio, are you badly hurt?” His eyes rove over Joe’s face, checking for any and all injuries.

“No, habibi,” Joe sighs. “The marks those men left are quickly fading. I am alright.” Nicky kisses Joe again, uncaring of the fact that Joe’s lips still taste of blood. 

They stand there for longer than they probably should, and when they finally part, Joe asks the question that had been pestering him since he first became aware of Nicky’s arrival. “How did you know so quickly, Nicolo? They’ve had me for less than an hour.”

The look on Nicky’s face is one of fond exasperation, one that Joe has been privy to many, many times. “You were being incurably romantic again, weren’t you?” 

Joe grins, his eyes shining as he looks at his love. “They dared insult you in my presence, hayati. Besides, you love it.”

Nicky sighs. “I do.”

Joe cups his face once more and kisses him, pouring nine hundred years of love and affection and desire into the kiss. He would defend his Nicolo to the ends of the earth, against anyone and anything that dared try to come between them. 

***

“I do not understand, Nile. Why do you keep referring to me as a cross between a human and an arachnid?”

“You have spidey sense Nicky, of course I’m going to call you Spiderman! Except instead of sensing danger, you sense whenever Joe’s delivering a love speech worthy of Shakespeare!”

“Hey! Do not compare me to that jumped-up English playwright–”

“Shut up, Joe!”

[zkfanworkweek]

ZFAW Content Creator Interviews: OwedBetter

Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!

I’m super excited about this one! For the sixth (incredibly delayed, I’M SORRY) interview in the cycle, we have Jo, aka @owedbetter. Best known for the absolutely iconic Zutara fanfiction “I’m Still Here,” Jo’s works can be found at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12312357/chapters/27990618

Tell us about how you came to ship Zutara. What does this ship mean to you?

To use one of my favourite lines from Jane Austen, "I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." I started watching Avatar: The Last Airbender when I was just a tiny little baby child at 10 turning 11 years old. I do know for a fact, however, that Zutara had simply always been it for me from the very beginning. I believe it was during "The Storm" that I just knew that there was more to Zuko than what was at surface level. As a brown girl trying to make her way into positions of leadership as a child, Katara's strength, rage, and bravery paved the way for me to survive in the way I have. As a survivor of child abuse myself, Zuko remaining kind and gentle and good was of paramount importance. Together, they were the joining of two souls that met in conflict and chaos but through merit, equal standing, and forgiveness, they were exactly what each other needed. They are not opposites nor two halves of a whole; they are the sky and between them is only the world. Everyone has the need to feel truly seen and understood as they are by another, and Zuko and Katara do exactly that. Other stories come and go, but they're the story I come back to and will continue to call home every single time. I will never tire of them.

2. What inspires you to create Zutara fanworks?

 I've been a professional writer for the last ten years. It's my job to imagine and create stories. I also love consuming stories through every medium possible. The well never dries when you keep it full to the brim. When you do the work I do and you consume as many stories as I do and you've lived a long enough life and paid attention to the life around you as I have trained to do, to be inspired is second nature. For Zutara, however, these are voices that have lived in my brain for fifteen years. When I get an idea for a story, literally any story, it's like my subconscious is naturally attuned to their dynamic that every prompt I come up with is automatically a Zutara prompt. Such is the way. If I ever publish a novel and/or lead my own show/movie, you can bet that it's probably Zutara if you squint.

3. Be selfish - if you could request one fanwork based on your own art/fanfic, what would it be? What would you absolutely love to see someone create? 

To this day, "i'm still here" is probably the single greatest thing I've ever done in my whole stupid life. It would be the greatest honour to see my work interpreted visually. Genuinely, I'd love to see certain scenes as comic panels or something. Katara's realisation at the beach over who she is and she thinks about Yue, her mother, and her grandmother. Zuko and Katara's mutual understanding. The scene that started it all: baby Zuko taking care of baby Azula at the beach. Katara and Iroh talking in Chapter 7. Toph meeting fear for the first time. The entire ending of Chapter 6. As of writing this, I haven't updated the sequel yet but I would love to see visual interpretations of incoming Original Characters because they've been fun to create. I don't even know. If anyone wants to draw something from "i'm still here", I would like to see it. Please let me see it. I will cry. But also, I would like to see visual interpretation of Zutara in my modern quarantine pandemic AU because I would like to see long haired 28 year old Zuko wearing autumn-wear in a public park filled with flowers with 26 year old Katara basically wearing anything I wear because I am projecting in that story for a reason. 

4. Any words for people who are new to the fandom and/or nervous about sharing their work for the first time?Buddy, we're all just a bunch of nerds who are creating things for our enjoyment and the enjoyment of likeminded individuals. Do things for you and because they bring you joy, first and foremost. Everything else can be ignored if you want to ignore it. You're doing great. 

5. What is your favorite Zutara-related thing you’ve made and why is it special to you?

 Again, "i'm still here" is literally the greatest thing I've ever done in my life. Something I get commended for a fair amount with ISH is how I handled Zuko being a child abuse survivor, and his conflicting emotions with his violent abusers because he's still a child who wants his family to love him. That comes from an extremely personal place for me and it means the world to know that other survivors out there resonated so well with it. Also, Masterchef Zuko with that chicken adobo meant me getting a LOT of people saying they tried out the recipe themselves and I can feel my grandmother radiate with pride over knowing I'm so great a cook that I can convince people to want my dish just by writing about it. I'm so proud of everything I did with ISH. I worked really hard on it and I'm so happy to know it means a lot to other people too. 

6. What’s an idea for a fanwork that you have but haven’t gotten around to making?

I have this one modern AU involving dogs that I've put on the backburner since 2017. One day... one day!!! I'm a bit of a workaholic, though, so most of the things I want to do, I just do 'em. 

7. Are you participating in ZFAW? If so, want to give us a hint as to your plans? 👀

I am! I have a draft ready based on one of Hayley Foster's animatics and I'm very excited. Tumblr user hayleynfoster, I owe you my entire life. 

[pumpkinlass]

This might be a stupid question but if you have adhd how did you manage to stick with drawing so long that you got so good?

No stupid questions! It’s an Interesting question with a vaguely interesting answer? I wanted to just message you back privately, but the message was SUPER long so I’m just going to post it-- I hope you don’t mind!!

Warning. Long Ramblings below

TLDR: I needed to do well in school because otherwise I would be a ‘failure’ and the only way I could focus was by doodling, so by doodling all my life and just copying styles I saw online as I saw them ‘oh neat, lets do my eyes like that’ I have come to be able to draw ‘good’ (-ish) I haven't actively practiced at drawing the way that people practice other hobby skills like sewing or painting or stuff like that. I just... draw ! And I guess now other people like how I draw too

Okay! So right off the bat! 

1. For me, ADHD manifests in a lot of ways. I have difficulty prioritizing tasks, I’m incredibly forgetful, I lose focus on conversations easily, I have intense difficulty regulating my emotions, I have trouble beginning tasks and trouble ending them. (I won’t start drawing some days until 11pm because I just... can’t bring myself to start. but then I get into it and I won’t be able to put down the pen until like 3 or 4 in the morning.)  I spend entire chunks of the day straight up daydreaming. 90% of the time I am exhausted and frustrated even though I’ve done nothing :/

There’s lots of things in my life I didn’t ‘stick’ with, painting, piano, guitar, animation, etc. etc. but doodling has always been present and if you doodle enough and just copy things you see eventually you just... draw Idk how to explain it LOL. 

2. I don’t consider myself good at drawing lol! Like hmmm how do I say this. 

 I just have certain things I like to draw and that I’ve become ... consistent at. Specifically drawing characters and bright colors. When I see my own art ... I just see what’s lacking. I don’t like drawing scenes, or backgrounds or complex things or interesting poses or...you know doing anything mmm you know ‘art-like’ stuff that like other artists I see do!! I hate shading, I struggle with coloring inside the lines and I hate making line-art.

Because [ADHD section now I guess lol]

3. I was, and still am, a very very fidgety person that had a very hard time staying focused on things or not zoning out. I was also though aware from an early age that I needed to do well in school. (blah blah strict parents w/e) And the only way I found that I could stay focused on anything and retain information, was by drawing.

From 6th grade (honors math because someone that that was a good idea LMAO) to 9th grade

All the way up to undergrad:

This was the only way I was able to get through school lmao.

If I’m doodling or moving my hand (at places where I can’t doodle I’ll do other things like wrap a hair-tie around my fingers in knots for hours or fold paper... crumple paper. tape my fingers together... ) I’m able to focus on what I need to be doing. Like listening or taking notes in honors classes --> undergrad --> grad school --> work meetings + professional development.

It’s a way for me to focus.

I literally cannot stress this enough: For 20 years I’ve just drawn characters facing forward or sideways again and again and again lol.

I’ve been actually feeling very nervous and self-conscious about posting my art because I just seem to lack the ability to get in there and make it ... ‘presentable’. 

My drawings are filled with fuzzy shaky lines because I don’t like going back and making it ““clean”“ I don’t have the attention span for it (and am SUPER jealous of all those amazing artists out there with clean vectors and sharp beautiful lines and shading) My work is also filled with color bleeds because I also struggle with going back and doing that as well.

And it’s the reason that I’ve stayed away from posting my art online for so long because I can never seem to finish anything! 

90% of my “art” is just this. Unfinished sketches and doodles. I struggle to finish anything lol.

and if I do color it’s lazy like this:

And it used to be that if DID attempt backgrounds (which was very rarely.) they looked like this:

I’d get bored halfway through and leave. I’d say most of my ‘’’art’’’ art is just me getting bored and leaving.

But like the things that I do keep ? The things that I’ve always done is just draw characters again and again and again:

From 2005

To 2016

And recently I’ve just found that people like to see this kind of stuff as much as I like to make it!

That is to say, I don’t see this all as “sticking to drawing” it’s not... really a conscious decision of mine. I can’t be a 100% sure, but it seems that you consider drawing like an active process that requires commitment and attention. And you’re of course right in that, but for me, I am a flighty non-committal person, and drawing is just a hobby of mine. And over time, it just happened that I got ‘better’ at it

I mean, lol, right now! I’ve spent the last 2 hours trying to answer this and ONCE AGAIN failing to start the commission on my to-do list :/

I hope some of these ramblings made sense. 

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Brooke Lewis Bellas

Brooke Lewis Bellas can currently be seen in the film The Mourning. She also brought her talent to the role of Pam Deluca in the comedy ½ New Year, about a tight-knit group of friends letting loose at their annual Half New Year Party. Brooke is a veteran of the horror genre and is returning to those roots with a role in the upcoming zombie film set in 1950’s Hollywood, The Day of The Living Dead. Her other film credits include the critically-acclaimed films Psycho Therapy, iMurders, and Sinatra Club, opposite Danny Nucci. Brooke’s TV credits include Fox’s Quintuplets. She will next be seen in the steaming series Red Rooms, which she also produced. Alongside her acting work, Brooke is a life coach and author of Coaching From A Professed Hot Mess, is a Celebrity Ambassador for the Breaking The Chains Foundation, participates in LA Mission Feed The Homeless, and is a staunch LGBTQ and AIDS Activist.

You have worked extensively in the horror genre—what is it that draws you to that particular genre?

I have always embraced my inner detective and have loved solving mysteries. No wonder I have been a huge fan of Alfred Hitchcock and Brian De Palma most of my life! I was also obsessed with vampires as a young girl and loved the ‘80s horror films when I was growing up. I have always been drawn to the darkness, unknown, mystery and escapism that horror offers. I also love how the horror genre embraces women of all body types (and curves) and offers strong roles for women!

If you could, is there anything that you would want to change about the horror genre?

If I could change anything about the horror genre, it would be the mainstream and public perception. Horror is often perceived as B-movie quality, evil, cultish, or less respectful than comedy or other genres, and that can be a false perception. There are many mainstream movies that we have all loved throughout the history of cinema and these are the type of horror genre films that I grew up watching. I have never been a fan of gratuitous horror and I could reference my favorites, from Alfred Hitchcock to Agatha Christie to Stephen King to Brian De Palma to the current thrillers and mainstream entertainment brought to us by Blumhouse or Jordan Peele, that are timeless. I wish people would understand how smart some of these screenplays are, the subtext of the stories being told. I wish the judgment and stigma of a lot of horror would be removed.

What would you say makes for a good scene partner?

I have been fortunate to act opposite some veteran greats and brilliantly talented actors, and I would, humbly, say that the most important components that make for a good scene partner are generosity, vulnerability, and openness—a partnership in which we listen and support each other. I have worked for over 20 years as an actress in this crazy industry, and there is little I have not experienced. I cannot say that working opposite the most “talented” or trained actors have necessarily been the best scene partner experiences for me. But working opposite generous actors who give and who support you, as you do for them, and you become like a well-oiled machine where the parts work better together...those actors who want you to succeed, who want to bring out the best in you, and you and them, a give and take—that is when movie magic is created!

1/2 New Year is a comedy, so can you tell us what drew you to the project? Can you tell us a little bit about the role of Pam?

½ New Year is an indie film with heart about a group of young people in their 20s who come to Hollywood, not necessarily for the entertainment industry but to live the life…live their best life…live their dreams…live that excitement that we all grow up seeing in movies, and yet, it is not always that simple. And, it is not always that glamorous or fun. We see how these relationships and people are glued together. I think the tagline sums it up best: "Friends are the family you get to choose." So, it is about a group of friends that go through the ups and downs of young life in Hollywood, and they learn that all you really have is love and friendship. I play Pam DeLuca, the big sister of Reed DeLuca (Drew McAnany). The film displays how sometimes we have family out here that is far away from our biological family, and it is what we go through, and the support we need to get from the worst of times to the best of times. It is very 80’s throwback and I think that's what I love so much about it. I met our star, writer, and producer, Drew McAnany, in Hollywood over ten years ago. Drew originally started out hosting in LA, and he was working at E! Entertainment when he interviewed me on the red carpet. He asked me about Philly, and we quickly bonded during that meeting, so he really became like a little brother to me. Like so many young actors in Hollywood, Drew was fighting to get a break for himself as an actor, so he created ½ New Year as a vehicle for himself to star in. He also wrote the role of his big sister, Pam DeLuca (from Philly), for me to act in. We had worked through a few years of table reads and different directors and producers, then Georgia Menides jumped on board, did the re-write on the script, then became the producer who made it happen. Along with producer Zach Block, they hired Tom Morash as our director to creatively guide this project.

I am honored and grateful to have had Pam DeLuca written specifically for me. I think that is something every actor and actress wants in their career. Pam is in her 30’s, and a bit older than her brother Reed and his friends. They are Italian from South Philly, so they argue, but are very close. Pam is part of the gang, but she is like the "mother hen" to them. Her journey is about protecting her brother and giving guiding advice to the girls they hang out with, including the gorgeous leads, played by Bo Youngblood, Shanley Caswell, and Rebecca Vinagro. She also likes to have flings with Reed's young, handsome buddies, including Marty (played by Jermain Alverez Martin). Pam is an on-screen example of what we go through in "Hollywood life”: She is single and all about her career, she loves to party and doesn't want to grow up! The film released in the USA on all TV On Demand and has just been released on Amazon Prime and Tubi TV.

What’s the funniest/weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you on a film?

Oh, I have had many! I truly feel that being an actor and producer in the independent film world involves a whole other level of funny and weird experiences! When you do not have big budgets to deal with, you have to get creative in other ways. So, one funny story that I would love to share was my experience of being one of the producers on a film titled Sinatra Club, that I was fortunate to get to act in, opposite Danny Nucci from Titanic, Jason Gedrick from Iron Eagle, Ellen Hollman from Spartacus, Michael Nouri from Flashdance, and the list goes on and on, with an incredible cast of talent we assembled. And, what was so cool was I found the script in 2004, we filmed in 2009, and it was distributed in 2011, so it was a very long and challenging development period for an indie project, but one of the wildest memories I have was the fact that the story is based on a true story about the night John Gotti became John Gotti, so for all of the mobster history and movie buffs who are reading this, I was so fortunate to be a part of history in the making with this film. This film is based on Sal ‘Ubatz’ Polisi who went into the witness protection program for releasing information on John Gotti and his crew, and when he came out of the witness protection he wrote the story of his life in the Mafia. It was so wild to work on a project for so many years where we would literally meet at 10 o’clock, 11 o’clock, 12 o’clock at night in privacy and secrecy at the Sportsmen’s Lodge in Studio City, California, in hotel suites and we would hold our production meetings there!

You actively support many varied causes, how did you get involved in activism?

I was born with a philanthropist's heart and have always been a supporter of giving back in whatever way we can. I was spearheading events in college to run around Philadelphia and feed the homeless with my sorority sisters. Now, I am so grateful to have whatever little “celebrity” status or recognition I have that can help make a difference. I feel blessed and responsible to give back through my artistic endeavors and through my work. I am a believer in activism and I typically work with numerous charities at a time. I am a celebrity ambassador for the Breaking the Chains Foundation that cultivates healing through art for those who have experienced eating disorders, self-esteem issues, and body image issues. I am active in charity work with the Los Angeles Mission on Skid Row and helping to feed the homeless. I have been active in several Breast Cancer charities and events, as I have lost people whom I loved to breast cancer over the years. I have also been active in quite a few charities and philanthropies to support AIDS research. I authored and have donated my book, titled Ms. Vampy’s Teen Tawk: There’s A Lotta Power In Ya Choices, to support teen girls. And, in giving back to the world, I find that it brings so much fulfillment and gratitude to my own heart.

What does your allyship mean to you?

My allyship means everything to me, both personally and professionally. My empathic heart has always been wired to help others. I do not perceive myself as a person with power or fame, but I am incredibly grateful that I have been afforded the opportunities throughout my career to give back, to take a stand, and to help those who have been marginalized in some way. I am a proud philanthropist and activist, and I feel it is my duty to serve. Throughout my life, I have often felt misunderstood or that I did not belong, and I have dealt with my own challenges and struggles, so I am known to “fight for the underdog” and support those in need.

You are a certified life coach, what’s the best advice you have ever received, and, in your opinion, the best advice you’ve ever given to somebody?

As an actress and life coach, I am a huge proponent of having a strong support system of professionals in my stable. I feel that all creatives and health professionals should have their own support system and professionals to turn to. At the end of the day, I have received such incredible advice from my professionals—my life coach of many years, Lori Bertazzon, and my actress empowerment coach, Michelle Colt. One of my favorite pieces of advice that Lori Bertazzon has given me occurred a few years back when she supported me in creating my own set of personal commandments at the beginning of the year. These are commandments that I consistently refer back to, that help to empower me and help to create breakthroughs when I am having breakdowns in my life or career. Michelle Colt has also given me unbelievable advice and support in her workshops to strengthen my soul as an actress, and I have to reference a recent funny one because I love it so, and she knows me so well: our mantra, “No more shenanigans!”. It is something that I hold near and dear to my heart daily. 

Humbly, I think the best advice I have given over the years was born from my Ms. Vampy web series for teen girls, where I created a catchphrase that I cherish: “When faced with fear, dig deep inside, find your inner Vamp, and… Vamp It Out!”. To this day, my now-adult cast will send me messages that they used this catchphrase. I use it as an adult (you do not have to be a teenage girl to appreciate it) and when I am fearful or trying to have a breakthrough, I dig deep inside and I Vamp It Out! My other favorite catchphrase advice was so powerful for me, I actually named my life coaching business after it: “Be You… And, Be Fearless!” 

Has your training as a life coach ever helped you to prepare for a role/project? How?

I really love this question, because one may think that different careers or skill sets cannot help the other, but I have found that my training as a board-certified life coach has helped me tremendously to prepare for a role or project in a few ways. First, I am now very mindful and aware of the “mind chatter” and I am more able to catch myself in it. When I enter a space of fear or anxiety, I am able to coach myself off the ledge. Even more compelling, is that when I went to school at the Life Purpose Institute to become a board-certified life coach, I learned early on that a very important component of life coaching is “listening without an agenda”. This has helped me exponentially as an actress, because when you are acting and you're truly in the moment, you need to be listening without an agenda, as well. A true response should come from your instincts and that is so wild to me because now I am able to catch myself when I am preparing for a project and I am anticipating what the character will say to me next, and I can catch myself listening with an agenda of what they will say, and I know that I'm not in the moment as an actress.

How can mental well-being and self-care help to sustain activism/advocacy/allyship?

I cannot stress enough how strongly I believe that mental well-being and self-care can help to sustain activism/advocacy/allyship and our own personal strength—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I actually speak about this in my book Coaching From A Professed Hot Mess: “When you give to yourself and allow yourself to replenish, you have so much more to give to others and will feel so much stronger inside.” I am still working on this, diligently, but when we learn to take care of ourselves and focus on our mental, spiritual, and emotional strength, we understand what it means to feel and give from our hearts. We become inspired to give back and to support people, causes, and have a passion, purpose, and mission, outside of ourselves.

What can you tell us about your latest projects The Second Age of Aquarius, Stripped, The Mourning, and Red Rooms?

At a time when the world is upside down and we do not really know where our next jobs will come from, I feel very blessed that I had acted in, and produced, a few projects that wrapped prior to COVID-19. My Psycho Therapy (Amazon Prime) film director, Staci Layne Wilson, wrote a film with Darren Gordon Smith (Repo! The Genetic Opera). Those two are so crazy talented. It is a fun indie gem. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but it’s The Second Age of Aquarius. It is a comedy, with a little bit of a Sci-Fi twist and a lot of music. It’s really sweet and clever. I’m an Executive Producer and I act in it. I play Tawny Stevens. She’s a young mom, stuck in the eighties, as an eighties, New Jersey, rocker mom. Wait until you see my hair, my make-up, and my leopard pants. I did the Jersey accent. I can’t wait for the film to come out! We also wrapped a TV pilot Stripped. It is a Comedy/Drama. It is a TV pilot that was written and directed by Marc Clebanoff, who also directed the film The Mourning, which stars Michael Walton, Louis Mandylor, Dominique Swain, and Larry Hankin. I was both an actress and a co-producer. The Mourning is a cool Sci-Fi/Love Story that just released on the new Tubi TV streaming channel. Stripped was a passion project. I was also one of the producers with Marc and Frank Krueger (also stars in it). I played Jules, the publicist to the star, Chris Cameron, played by Casper Van Dien. It was created by Mark Clebanoff and late actor, Kristoff St. John. They had created the concept before he passed on, which is such a sad situation, but Marc wanted to carry on his legacy, and he did, and we did. It is such an incredible cast, and series, we are all proud of. Lastly, at the start of COVID-19, my creative instinct kicked in and I knew I had to create to stay somewhat “sane”, so I spent most of the quarantine producing and filming a virtual streaming series. Red Rooms was conceived and completed out of “isolation inspiration”! Joshua Butler and I had been in development on a project and had been reminiscing about our favorite industry days of yesteryear when we met on the horror film circuit. I had already been a superfan of Joshua’s work for years. In 2019, we shot a proof of concept for our project, which paid homage to his hugely successful film VLOG (2008) from the producers of SAW, which went on to become a hit TV series. When COVID-19 hit Hollywood and we were all in isolation, I called for a production meeting, then suggested we use the footage we shot and attempt to experiment by filming each character virtually from their homes. Red Rooms stars horror film and TV veterans Brooke Lewis Bellas (iMurders), David Alpay (The Vampire Diaries), Suze Lanier-Bramlett (The Hills Have Eyes), Ricky Dean Logan (Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare), and Noah Blake (Teen Witch). We are currently working on post-production and cannot wait to see where we end up!

Thanks for taking the time, Brooke! 

Photographer: Birdie Thompson | Hair and Makeup: Allison Noelle

[lady-plantagenet]

Unsolicited Book Reviews (n2): Death be Pardoner to Me

Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Even before I had an account, I tended to go to tumblr to see people’s opinions before buying a histfic. Certain books are either severely underrepresented, where I feel like there needs to be something on them, whereas others, though talked about enough, something more can still be said about them. So for my quarantine fun, I have decided to start a series where I review every medieval historical fiction novel I read. Hopefully, it will either start interesting discussions or at least be some help for those browsing its tag when considering purchasing it.

TL;DR: Since the author claims this book is written through her channelling of George Duke of Clarence, I don’t know if I should approach this as a historical fiction review or otherwise. Regardless, well-written and very balanced. The voice throughout was similar to how I pictured the real George of Clarence. Nevertheless, I deduct one star because I have noticed some innacuracies. Whether this discounts the veracity of the author’s claim - I leave it up to you. Despite how dodgy this book may appear, it has gotten very good reviews online and I do assure you it is not trashy or melodramatic at all; it is high quality compared to most modern histfic and other genre fictions in its prose and psychological insight.

Plot: So what essentially happens is, we get a fictionalist account (albeit a very short one) of George’s life. The book’s chapters are split between 1st person (where he (George) intimates what he felt and what thought during an event) and 3rd person limited POV. The author claims that the entire book is told in his own words but I suppose the background descriptions and such in the 3rd person chapters were her own words. We get basically every major event in his life (birth, childhood, marriage, rebellion and death) and some in-between. The in-between moments were by far my favourites as they are what added depth to what is essentially this character analysis (because we all know what he did, we are now interested in why). I was happy to see a lot of little details in this book were confirmed by my research (Caxton dedicating him a book, his penchant for fine clothing, his suffering of headaches (maybe after suffering the recorded head injury at Barnet) etc), his gift for legal arguments (I obviously squealed when I found that out) so I did end up learning something.

On the other hand, I would have wanted an account of the time he spend with Louis XI, Margaret of Anjou, Anne Neville and Jasper Tudor and what he thought and said. I would have also wanted more insight into the whole Burdett and Stacey debacle, not to mention his relationship with Sir Roger Tocotes: the old friend who though was apparently part of the whole poisoning Isabel scheme, Clarence could not bring himself to execute. Warwick surprisingly doesn’t feature very heavily either, nor does Isabel enough. But I’ll take what I can get when it comes to his particular historical figure.

Characterisation/ Historical Accuracy: As I’ve said, since the author claims to be a medium (I shall not comment on this as I myself am undecided on where I stand) any incongruency cannot be taken as merely artistic licence. So, the voice of George (which I suppose has been transcribed into our contemporary speech so we can understand what he says) feels very true to the character. His attitude towards things definitely sounds like a man from the 15th century. He is more reasonable now, than he would be if he were telling us his story during the action itself, because a lot of the book is told through the spirits (?) hindsight. Nevertheless, you do feel as if you were with the character while everything unfolded. The portrayal is more sympathetic than in other novels, nevertheless, he is no Gary Stu or major victim. He is portrayed as someone with genuine principles, intelligence, capable of some love towards other while also being deluded by his own self-importance, sometimes irrational and judgmental. So more or less a real and complex person.

On the other hand, some claims in this novel are quite bold but though unsubstantiated are not strictly speaking innacurate (I won’t spoil here, but if anyone has zero plans of reading this book but regardless wants to know what I mean PM me). One thing that made me deduct one star was this one blatant innacuracy: Ankarette Twynyho’s portrayal as a young woman, when we know that by the time she reached Clarence’s household she had a grandson (John Twynyho who petitioned Edward IV for a posthumous parson). There was also the implausible suggestion that George would not allow for in his household to be said that Richard of Gloucester married Anne Neville for her money (which though spirit George may in retrospect believe he loved her, 15th century George would at worst have been the one starting those rumours and at best, would not have cared). However, the latter unlike the former isn’t disprovable beyond doubt - but still I can somehow feel the Richardianism from the author seep in a bit. It actually has quite blatantly in a couple of instances. For example the suggestion that Richard visited him in the Tower (which I am 90% sure could not have happened). I do believe George and Richard loved each other in some weird twisted way since they were raised together and brothers, but I genuinely don’t believe it was so conscious on either’s part. Also, Isabel Neville was described as very ill from the birth of Richard of Clarence, but as we all know she was actually really well after the birth, she did not die of childbed fever. This is precisely why Clarence thought poisoning could have taken place. Isabel and George’s relationship as a whole was rather sad, and a part of me hopes this is all a hoax just so I can hope they were happier together in real life.

Prose: You may be surprised to know that the prose is actually still better than the vast majority of historical fiction novels. It flows well throughout, the dialogue is engaging and realistic, the descriptions of places and things (what in my opinion is essential for a period novel) is really well done but not too embellished. Certain scenes seriously gave me the feels (happens rarely), but then again it is hard to know if my reaction is more to do with the draw I have towards George in general than the author’s craft - regardless, I still think it is better literary wise than anything Weir or most popular histfics ever wrote, though obviously does not hold a candle to Jarman, Lytton-Bulwer or Scott. But then again, this was not even intended to be a novel in the classical sense. This is where half of the stars come from whereas the others come from insightfulness (as it did give me some avenues of research). There is also a semi-mystical theme throughout (as you would expect from a medium) but it is very subtle and not at all TWQ-esque, an honestly - it is plausible as we do need to keep in mind that medieval people did all believe in Angels, spirits and such. I think this added a nice flavour in some scenes.

Overall, this novel believable or not was much-needed. Too much is written about Richard III and the others. When a mutual told me of it I obvs could not resist haha. Since it was so short (around 200 pages with fairly large font) I think I might go ahead and purchase her Anthony Woodville one too (imagine my luck: two of my favourite historical figures got books).