#and I agree being a woman can fucking suck sometimes

[eureka-its-zico]

I’m taking the day off from college bc being a woman sucks so I appreciate the allowance to continue badgering you. Anywho, I feel like the first time someone calls doc “mom or mama” it’s an accident. Like they were half awake or something and then:

MAMA. Or something to that effect. I feel like someone got hit with something

It’s actually Chopper who says it first.

It happens his first week on the ship. He hurts himself while not paying attention in the kitchen. He was just so excited watching Sanji cook and all the aromas that he wasn’t paying attention to the burner and leaned to close.

Zoro was busy yelling at Sanji, even though he knows it’s not really the waiters fault, because he heard him warn Chopper - he just hates seeing Chopper cry.

Doc is sitting with him in her lap as she is examining the area when he tells her: “I don’t know what having a mom is like, but, I think, if I did, a mom would be someone like you.”

After Doc finishes putting burn cream on the wound to try and take down the pain and lightly wraps it, she goes back to her shared room with Zoro and quietly sobs into her hand.

[moonstruckme]

hi! What about a fic if one of the Mauraders or TASM peter with a reader who's insecure about her big boobs? Like ik everyone thinks it's ideal but honestly sometimes it really sucks when shirts don't fit right or everything looks slutty or u can't go braless or alternatively a fic about their gf overhearing someone say they r an ass man but she has a small butt?

Thank you for requesting!

cw: insecurity around breast size

tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

You’re looking in the mirror, and you want to feel good about yourself. Really, everything looks the way it should. Your hair looks better than it would on an average day, that new eyeshadow thing you tried actually turned out nicely, and your dress fits the way it’s supposed to. 

Just, the way it’s supposed to fit doesn’t really seem right to you at the moment. 

“Peter,” you call in the direction of the bathroom, “if I ask you about something, can you promise to be honest with me?” 

You hear water splash in the shower, signaling your boyfriend is finally rinsing out his hair. In classic Peter fashion, he seems like he’s going to be late to his own banquet. Oscorp is having a formal event to recognize the achievements of their scientists this year. Peter’s done even more than most, and he’s expected to give a speech before the food comes out which you’ll be lucky to make at this rate. You were supposed to get ready together, but he’d spent the majority of the time flirting with you while you did your makeup in your pajamas. 

“Duh, I’m always honest,” he calls back. The shower shuts off. “That’s why they call me your friendly, honest, neighborhood spider-man.” A pause. You wonder if he can sense the dry look you’re sending his way. “Fine, but I’m always honest with you. Shoot, sweetheart.” 

“Okay.” You give yourself one final, disappointed look-over in the mirror before heading towards the bathroom door. “I’m serious, don’t sugarcoat anything, but do you think—” 

The door swings open, and Peter’s right in front of you, beads of water still visible on his torso and a towel wrapped around his waist. 

“—this is too slutty?” you finish, quieter, right as he blurts, “Oh my god.” 

Peter blinks. His head does a tiny shake, as if trying to rid himself of a dizzy spell. “What?” he asks. 

Probably not your best phrasing. “I just mean, is it too booby,” you try again. You have the urge to tuck your arms around your middle self-consciously, but you worry that would only make the boob predicament worse. 

“Baby.” Peter’s still looking at you like you’re speaking another language. “What?” 

You look down at your highly visible cleavage, then back up at him. “You know what I mean,” you say softly. 

“Okay, speaking from a strictly straight male standpoint,” Peter says, unabashed as his eyes dip to where yours just where, “I can’t condone the idea that there is such a thing as too booby. But even if I was, like, a ninety-five-year-old conservative woman, I couldn’t—I would still think you look beautiful.” 

Your heart balloons. It’s not a compliment you got much before you met Peter. Hot, sexy, sure, but not beautiful. 

“God.” The word slips from your boyfriend’s mouth so softly it almost sounds like a prayer. His hands find your waist, skimming down the satiny material of your dress to rest on your hips. “You’re amazing. Is that the eyeshadow trick you were talking about?” 

You nod, cheeks warming. “You watched me do it.” 

“It looks different with the dress on,” he agrees. “Fuck. Not to be corny, but you’re seriously taking my breath away. I can’t breathe right now.” 

A little laugh stutters out of you, and Peter smiles. He’s looking rather breathtaking himself, fresh-faced from the shower with a piece of damp hair still clinging to his forehead. You unstick it and comb it back in with the others already fluffed up after being toweled off. He smells like his shampoo. 

“Can I kiss you,” he asks, “or will I mess up your makeup?” 

“Be careful,” you warn, smiling as you lean in. 

He is, but his hands give away his hunger, bunching in the fabric at the base of your spine to get you closer. He makes a low, needy sound in the back of his throat, and for half a second you wonder if it’s for your benefit but then you remember that he was right earlier. Peter is always honest with you. 

You laugh when you pull away, going to get a bit of tissue paper to blot away the lipstick you’ve left on him. A glance in the bathroom mirror shows that yours is, thankfully, intact. 

“Are you sure this dress will be appropriate?” you ask, less insecure now but still nervous as you wipe at Peter’s upper lip. “Regardless of how much you like it, it’s still a formal thing and I don’t want to be…indecent.” You cringe. There’s no word that sounds nice. 

Your boyfriend’s brows furrow. His hands skim up your arms, and he looks like he’s about to reply when you fold the toilet paper and stick it between his lips. “Blot,” you murmur. 

He does. “Sweetheart.” He squeezes your upper arms, a silent request for you to look up at his eyes. You find them soft and earnest. “There’s nothing inappropriate about what you’re wearing. It is a formal thing, and you’re wearing a formal dress. You look beautiful.” That word again. Your cheeks burn. Peter kisses one of them. “No one is going to have anything to say about how you look other than how beautiful you are,” he promises. 

You let the sincerity of his words seep into you, pooling like a warm drink in your belly. The inside of your lip finds its way between your teeth. Now you’re feeling bashful for other reasons. 

It’s obvious by Peter’s grin that he can tell. He gives your arms another squeeze before moving you out of the way and going to where his clothes are laid out on the bed. 

“Actually, that’s pretty convenient for me.” He discards the towel on the floor, slipping on a pair of boxers and then starting to button up his dress shirt. “You’ve just taken a whole bunch of pressure off my speech. No way anyone’s gonna be looking at me while I’m up there now.”

[konigsluv]

MDNI!! DARK THEMES!!

LOSER!König x Drugged!Reader

Loser!König spikes your drink and fucks you in the backseat of his car.

contains: rape, non-con sex, roofied alcohol, penetration, rough sex, desperate sex, drugged!reader

a/n: this one's a bit long but I hope y'all like it :3

König was absolutely thrilled when you agreed to go out with him. He has noticed you around base, following you around, and getting jealous when you talk to other men that aren't him. Even though you've never talked to him, ever....

It was pathetic really, but he's always been pathetic. Woman have never took a liking to him; they always called him too rough, too disgusting, too fucking creepy. He was a loser when it came talking to them, stuttering over his words, and trying to turn away to hide the growing bulge in his pants. It's why he was so ashamed when he fell for you.

You being perfect.

And such a stark contrast to himself.

Soft hair, small hands, smooth skin, and the way your eyes crinkle at the edges when you smile. It was all so perfect. So can you really blame him for falling in love?

Maybe that's why, when you actually agreed, he was on cloud nine for approximately one minute before his mind spiraled.

Why would he do that?

Now he has to take you out to dinner, talk to you without stuttering, and try and convince you through subtle actions and words that he was a good man for a woman like you. But god, that would prove to be impossible.

You were just too out of his league. You only ever agreed to go on this date because you pitied the poor big fella! König thought there was no way you would agree to a second date, and a third and fourth and so on and after.

Thus, drastic times came for drastic measures. König wanted, just once, to feel your skin on his, to feel your cunt suck his cock in and squeeze it to hell- and he was going to get it.

Before you realized who he truly was...

König pulled out your chair for when you sat down, his hands shaking as he got a whiff of the nice perfume you were wearing. He then sat in his own seat, it creaking from his large stature.

"You uhm- look lovely tonight," He says, a crooked smile creeping onto his face.

You smile politely at him, "Thank you, it's a new dress." you accept the compliment, "I also see that you've cleaned yourself up for the night,"

You know who he is, Colonel König around base, but you never would have suspected he was interested in you. Much less he clean up his look and actually wear something nice.

König gave a small dry laugh to your comment, "Ah, yes, I have....." he then glanced down to the white empty plate sitting in front of him.

This was awkward. He didn't know what to say! Oh god, he's going to ruin the night isn't he?!

You clear your throat and look around, flagging down a waiter and ordering a bottle of wine for the table.

"You okay with red wine? I drink it to ease my nerves sometimes," you say softly, subtly trying to reassure him that's it's okay to be nervous and to loosen up a bit.

König nodded, "Yeah, yea, that's uh- red wine is fine," he's never once indulged himself with the dark red liquid.

Tapping your nails against the table you inhaled heavily, "So, do you come here often?" referring to the restaurant.

"No I," he paused for a moment, thinking about his words so he doesn't stutter, "I don't. But I thought you would like it since it's-" he looked around, "you know, like fancy,"

You laugh softly and didn't even notice his sharp intake of breath as he focused mostly on trying not to get hard. The sound of your laugh sent heat rush to his groin; he wanted to be the one that made you laugh.

"Yes, it is nice in here. I do like it if you were wondering."

König nodded then sighed, bouncing his leg under the table. He was barely listening to what you were saying. He's sorry, but he's got other things to focus on. Like the little bag of pills in the pocket of his pants.

Just then, the waiter came back and set two wine glasses down and poured the red wine into them before setting the bottle between them on the table.

"Enjoy your evening," he says then walks away.

König clenched his jaw tightly when he watched you bring the glass up to your lips and take a small sip. He was so fucking anxious, was his plan even going to work?....

Dinner went on as normal, well, as normal as it could be with a guy like him. With every question you asked he would give one sentence responses. It kind of bummed you out because he was the one that asked you out in the first place. The man didn't seem interested in you at all.

Sighing, and finishing your meal you strand up, "Excuse me, i'm going to go refresh myself," you say then walk to the ladies room.

König watched as you disappeared down a hall then looked around anxiously to see if anyone was nearby and watching him. Once he realized the coast was clear he shoved his hand into the pocket and pulled out the small bag. He fumbled with it, his large fingers making it more difficult to grab and open it. Or maybe it was because he was shaking.

He kept glancing over his shoulder, waiting to see you standing directly behind him and staring at him with disgust. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but schatz, he needed you- and as much as he loved you, he couldn't trust you to let him touch you.

That's why he's somewhat- no, fully obligated to do this.

König leaned over the table, dropping the small white pill into your red wine and watching it dissolve. He then sat back in his chair, staring at the glass with darkened eyes.

He actually felt relieved, he done it without getting caught- and just one sip of that wine would make you delirious. Clenching his fists, he glanced back over his shoulder to see you walking back from the bathroom. God, he was so fucking nervous but also so excited to have you, to taste you.

"I'm back," you say, sitting back down with a small smile, "Have we gotten the check yet?"

König blinks, "Ja, I took care of it,"

"Oh, thank you," you then stand up, patting down your dress for no apparent reason, "Ready to go?"

He panics.

"Aren't you going to finish your drink?" He says quickly. You glance down at the wine then let out a small amuses huff from your nose.

"You're right," you pick up the glass, bringing it to your lips, and he watched with dark eyes as you took two gulps of it before setting it back down.

"Thanks for dinner," you say as he stands up.

"No need to thank me," he replies. After all, he'll be getting his thanks soon enough...

It wasn't long until you two were walking to his car when you stumbled slightly, grabbing onto his arm to steady yourself. Your brows furrow together and you bring your hand to your forehead, groaning.

"Is something wrong?"

Glancing up, there were, what seemed to be two König's staring down at you. You squinted your eyes, trying to focus on one but it was blurry, "I had... had a bit to drink," you say slowly and he nods.

"Come on, let's get you back to the car, then you can rest," He wraps his arm around your backside, firmly grasping your waist as he held you up until you guys got to his car. You slumped against it as he unlocked and opened the backseat.

"Here schatz, ruhe diche jetze aus..."

Your eyes dolled back into your head as you tried to speak, but only quiet slurs of deformed words came from your swollen lips. Your whole body felt like lead as you tried lifting your head to see what felt so hot between your legs.

"so good..." König mumbled into your cunt as he lapped up the slick that pooled out of you, "you're so good liebling..."

His large hands gripped your thighs, kneading them under his calloused palms as his slippery tongue slid in and out of you before grazing over your swollen clit. He sucked the bead into his mouth, savagely moving his head from side to side as he growled into your pussy.

"no...." you mewled weakly, "sst..." you managed strength to lift your hand, but you could barely do anything when you tried pushing his head away. König just groaned into your cunt as he felt your hand grab onto his hair.

You liked this schatz, didn't you?

Why else would you be moaning for him? Grabbing his hair? Getting even more wet when his tongue was doing its best you clean you up?

"so needy," he cooed, spitting onto your pussy and watching the saliva run down your folds, "I'll take good care you of you, schatz. kein grund zur sorge,"

König then pulled away, running his hands down your legs before moving them up towards your entrance. He slipped his middle finger inside of you and groaned at the sight of your cunt sucking him in desperately.

Soft moans dribbled out of your mouth as König slides another digit into your leaking pussy.

"sto...p," you manage to say, your voice cracked and tired. God, you felt exhausted, so fuzzy and dizzy.

It didn't take him long to drive you to an orgasm, your whole body tensing, your back arching up and your eyes rolling into the back of your head- losing consciousness.

It was only when your head bumped repeatedly against the car door as he shoved his fat cock in and out of you that you regained consciousness.

One of his hands was placing at the base of you throat, squeezing, while the other was gripping onto the edge of the seat.

"Oh je, du bist so verdammt eng, es fühlt sich so gut an," he whines as he bucks his hip into you. König didn't even have a technique, just mindlessly thrusting his too big cock into you at a relentless pace. You swore that every other second you blanked or blacked out.

"-urts!" you cried, choked gasps coming from your mouth as you tried to control your breathing, "h-hurts!..."

König groaned as he slowed his pace, now dragging his cock slowly in and out of your right wet cunt. The hand on your throat reaches up and he brushed his fingers against your cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"m'sorry schatz, I didn't think about your head...." he cooed before grabbing your waist firmly and manhandling you into a different position.

Now you were sitting on top of him, his length stuffing you full until his tip was kissing your cervix. It was painful, but there were slight shocks of pleasure that kept your mind blank. You were so fucking out of it you could barely tell what was happening- which direction you were facing....

His hand cupped the back on your head, bringing your face into the crook of his neck as his other hand caresses your bare side.

"is that better?..." he whispered into your ear before grabbing your hips and fucking up into your sloppy wet cunt.

God maus, you felt so fucking good. After this one taste, how was he supposed live normally?

Your body went limp; small incoherent mumbles and whimpers sounding from your swollen lips. König loved it, every second of it. Your delirious state just convinced him that it was him making you feel like this. It was his cock that was causing you to black out from pleasure....

"i'm so close, so close to cumming in you. ich werde dich mit meinem sperma füllen," he says desperately as he bucked his hips up ruthlessly.

It only takes a couple of more clumsy, sloppy thrusts for him to be releasing inside of you- filling you with his creamy seed. There was so much it seeped out of your hole, coating his cock in a milky substance and forming a sticky ring at the base of his shaft.

"I love you- ich liebe dich so sehr, I love you," he whispered, caressing your hair and tangling his hands in it. You were long gone by now, having passed out from the sheer overstimulation- mixed with the drugs of course....

"So good.... did you like it too?" König asked breathlessly and when you didn't respond he simply chuckled.

"It's okay little maus, i'll let you rest.... you probably need it for the amount of times i'll be fucking you."

MASTERLIST

please do not copy or repost on any platforms without my permission

LIKES AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED

[simpjaes]

Have you done a size ranking for Enha’s dick sizes yet ?•_•

not on my blog but boiiiii have i discussed this at length with oomf. let's go ahead and change that tho.

note: i was gonna include pics but tbh i don't rly wanna do that now lmfao sorry. im gatekeeping!!!! you don't have to agree with the sizes im giving them btw, some dude's just have monster cock energy sorry.

★ heeseung:

long and thick. almost too big, sometimes actually too big. takes both hands to jerk him off, and the entire expanse of your throat to swallow him up. honestly, it's so big that you have no choice but to feel each pulse and twitch of it when he's inside of you. the stretch is painful regardless of the position he takes with you, and you're not sure if you could ever get wet enough to ease the sear of it. you don't understand, really, heeseung literally makes you feel like you're being split in half but goddamn does he make it feel amazing at the same time. there are some men out there who have huge cocks and assume that's all they need to pleasure a woman. but oh, oh no no no, heeseung is well aware that you gotta know how to use it too. and boy does he.

☆ jay:

maybe not the longest cock of the bunch but definitely the thickest. for every deep part of you he can't reach, he makes up for it with the way he slams his hips into you, forcing you to feel every thick inch of him. unlike heeseung, you may be able to jerk him off with one hand but it doesn't change the fact that you can't fully wrap your fingers around him, and fitting it into your mouth can be a bit difficult as well. thankfully, jay isn't too worried about teeth when he gets to see you attempt to swallow him up. in fact, the little drag of them scraping the top-side of his cock is something that makes him shiver. he thinks it's cute to see you try and take all of it, actually. never feeling insecure over the fact that while he's definitely not packing anything over 5 to 6 inches, the girth alone is enough to leave a pretty girl calling out his name, begging him to go harder, telling him how good it feels in them.

★sunghoon:

long long long, but not as thick. the reach he can manage is insane, to the point that he'd probably have an obsession with snapping pics of his cock laying between your legs and measuring how far inside of you he's about to put it. visual stimulation, n all that. you can feel him deeper than any one else could probably reach, slamming into your cervix to the point it actually hurts, to the point he could probably have you pregnant in one fuck if you guys wanted to go that route. like that cum wouldn't have to go far at all to reach its goal lmfao jerking him off is easier than anything else, but giving him head can be a bit of a conundrum for you. you can lick and suck all you want with your hand jerking the bottom half of his cock but he's always gonna prefer the feeling of your throat gagging around him instead. he's gonna fuck the whole thing down your throat and adore the way you sound struggling with it.

☆ jake:

a perfect, average, nice cock, for a perfect, not so average, nice man. fits like a puzzle piece and fills you up the perfect amount. enough for it to hurt if he wants it to, enough for him to offer nothing but pure pleasure otherwise. the good thing about jake and his cock is the fact that just about anything can and will get him off, not only because the ease of which it'll fit into you, but because you love every inch of it when he does it. and sure, he can make it feel longer, he can make it feel thicker, all with just a shift of his hips. fr, and he's always shifting them too, trying to reach parts of you he knows he can't. every blowjob is met with gags, of course, because he definitely can't control his hips. every hand job met with the perfect weight in your hand, and every fuck met with a feeling of fullness that renders you capable enough to feel every second of his love rather than having to wince through it and lose your train of thought during certain positions.

[kuethemoon]

iwtv fanfic friday: lesbianism onto the guys

@oldbutchdaniel I'm joining the fun. it's yuri time

two-headed mother by tisiphones // e, 8.6k

"Poor darling," Armand says, and the condescension in his voice is so awful and so offensive and Lestat wants to curl up in it and never, ever leave. "It's okay to let yourself be taken care of for just one night. You can't help what you need." It's Lestat's last night in Paris. Armand makes it a memorable one.

actually world changing. mommy issues galore it's sooo fun and this fic is part of several that got me into armandstat

super graphic ultra modern girl by armanddelioncourt // e, 0.9k

“I want to watch how you insert your tampon.” “Wha—No, you weirdo,” she glanced around the mercifully-deserted aisle. “You can’t just ask me that in the store!”

yummmmmy period blood fic!!! i love period blood fics sooo much and they're so cute

More than Neither by apoptoses // e, 6.2k

Annoying, how hot it is to see Armand kneeling on the dirty bathroom floor like this. Without her heels to compensate for their height difference she looks small, delicate. Her face is on the level with Daniel’s hips and Daniel knows what’s about to happen. Armand has probably been planning for this since they stepped into the store, she realizes. There’s no way she’d catch Daniel bleeding for the first time and let that go. (Daniel gets her period. Armand helps. Written for the Queens of the Damned prompt butch/femme.)

another period blood fic pls bartender! if I tip you can add them being freaky in a public toilet? thank you very much I'll take the lot pls!! the way daniel and armand handle being women and lesbians is so well written. dyke stamp of approval. if you're starting to notice a trend don't tell me

she loves me, she loves me not by IguessIllchangeitlater // e, 2.3k

“Sure,” she panted and raised her head, tried to find Armand’s eyes, but kept focusing on her fanged smile instead. “I will wear that fucking skirt.” Push out, push in, push out, push in, Daniela was going to come just from that, she was going to die. “I can’t-ah, I can’t wear my underwear with that, I would look silly.” Push in, push out. “Yes,” Armand agreed. She rested her head on the mattress, next to Daniela’s knee and busied herself with mouthing the blood that was still there. The blood that she drew earlier. “So, what’s the plan, boss?” Daniela managed to raise herself on her elbows. Armand’s beguiled eyes looked like that of a cat in the light of the night. “For the underwear situation?” “You will wear none, of course.”

butch daniel wearing a skirt because armand said so was an idea that bounced around in my head for a whole week so you know how excited I was to read this. hell yeah they're so bad to each other

sweet things for the sea by ulatraviolet_glow // e, 2.6k

Danielle Molloy, a runaway posing as a young man on a trading ship dreams of a better life, but when her dreams find her falling overboard and into the arms of the woman of her dreams, how disturbed will Dani be when she realises that the woman is not human at all, but a creature of the sea?

siren armand do you know how much you mean to meeeeee I lay awake at night thinking of you sinfully. siren armand...

one of your girls by sleepdeprivedsurgeon // m, 4.7k

“I was thinking maybe I’d go with my girlfriend,” Daniel says. Armand sucks in a breath, a familiar blend of excitement and fever rearing its head inside him. This isn’t new— nothing is, after nearly five centuries— but it’s certainly been a while. Louis doesn’t care what he looks like, what he is, just as long as he stays below him. On his knees in the endless confessional. Marius would dress him up sometimes: Helen of Troy, Cassandra, Mary Magdalene. When the painting was finished he’d push his skirts up and take him there in the studio.

technically not yuri but beautiful feminization + crossdressing armand and I had to put it here. special treat!

[demiesworld]

quick oneshot of this thought i had in my mind of black!fem!reader (lowkey myself) being scouted at a mall by cameraman!gojo and asked if she wants to do something strange for some change. reader agrees to it, and then she's filmed in the mall parking in the backseat of some black van with tinted windows. amateurpornstar!geto is seated in the back, manspreading, looking fine af and is just checking reader out while cameraman!gojo asks her some questions about her. like asking her age, if she ever done this before, and what does she think of geto by first impression. ofc reader says she is legal age, never been on film, and says that she thinks geto is sexy.

"would you let him fuck you though?" gojo asks and reader shrugs her shoulders and says, "i mean only if he wants to fuck me." and bats her eyes over at geto. geto is just smirking like the cocky bastard he is, licking his lips at reader and tells her that he does in fact want to fuck her.

camerman!gojo tells reader to get comfortable with geto while he films geto taking off reader's shirt and pushing her breasts together as he squeezes them. like geto is so nasty with it. he spits on one nipple and sucks on it till it's hard then goes to nibble on the other one and spit on that too. reader is getting wet from this and camerman!gojo is lowkey getting turned on.

skip to when like reader has all of her clothes off and so does geto. she's kneeling above his lap with his fucking huge cock curved right up against her ass. camerman!gojo gets a close up of the reader's slick pussy slowly taking in geto's cock. the shaft already covered in her juices before all of it is even in.

"fuck her pussy looks so good on your dick man." gojo comments from behind the camera. in his head he's thinking, "this is going to make millions of views."

geto has his head thrown back against the head rest and his long black hair is out of the updo he wears. he says, "she's real tight though, satoru, damn... are you sure you're not a virgin?" he makes a joke and the reader is giggling shaking her head no.

soon enough you're riding geto in the backseat of the van like a wild woman and gojo is getting good angles of how you're doing it too. your cream mixing with geto's splatters in the van each time you slam your ass down on geto's lap. he's groaning from how good you're riding him, his hands gripping your ass cheeks and spreading them apart so the camera can see it more clearer. sometimes he spanks your ass cheeks hard, hurting a bit from the metal rings he wears on his long fingers.

you're moaning at each time his thick cock rams into your sweet spot. geto has his mouth attached to your sensitive nipples. his tongue licking, teeth gnawing, and lips suctioning on them. this isn't the first time gojo has seen geto fuck someone, but damn he's getting a little jealous that he's not getting any action from this.

geto suggests to get you from a different angle so he changes positions with you in the back. thankful the van is big enough for him to have you on your back with your legs in the air while he pounds into your sweet dripping pussy. he took the camera away from gojo and records his dick pummeling into you.

you could hear geto murmuring things like, "pussy feels so fucking good," "best pussy i ever had," "quit clenching on me like that g'na make me cum girl,"

geto leans his weight all onto you, folding your legs close to your shoulders and has you in a mating press. he had passed the camera over to gojo for this because of the position. it's a backshot of geto's dick ramming into your pussy and his heavy balls slapping against your ass while he does it.

in the end though geto ends up cumming inside of you (ofc they asked you off camera if you were on the pill and ok with a creampie). slipping his dick out with a wet "pop" and his cum leaking out of your hole in thick streams.

when you're both done fucking, gojo asks you if you would do something like this again and you say, "if it's with him," pointing to geto, "then hell yes." the three of you laugh and then that's when your eyes notice the bulge in gojo's pants and you ask him if he wanted for you to take care of it.

"huh? no, no, i'm fine you don't have to do that!"

you smile and you're like, "you sure? you were sitting there kind of uncomfortable for the past hour," and geto starts to laugh at gojo's red ears.

on pornhub the video has over two million views and it's with the title "HOT SEXXY AND YOUNG BLACK GIRL GETS HER TIGHT PUSSY RAILED BY HUGE JAPANESE COCK AND STUFFED WITH CUM (SHE TRIES TO SUCK OFF THE CAMERA GUY TOO!!!)" hundreds of thousands of comments, over 900k likes and thousands of shares.

notes: yeah this is messy what i wrote but idgaf i wrote smth while in this slump im in rn lol trying to get out from it yall!

[a-certain-romance]

house wife reader pt 3!!! (house wife annon atp)

i wanna expand on shenhe and house wife reader bc i lost my 50/50 for her again

shenhe and housewife reader!!, Shenhe would be troubled to know if her house wife could leave her in an instance. Just so she knows you wont leave her she sometimes bends you over the kitchen counter ripping a hole in her favourite suit to let out her boner to fuck you desperately. She needs to cum in you leave some mark inside you so you get the hint.

She always cums raw inside she always wants your around so if you get an accidentital conception she’ll freak out at first and be confused since are you gonna leave? are you gonna scream at her? But turns out your making a new life with her guess her house wife really is something. she’ll happily learn abt parenting with you just for the slight mistake she caused from her own insecurities

beidou and her house wife reader is really something sometimes you beg along to go into going on the sea trips with her since you cant handle being lonely she reluctantly agrees sometimes but all you can do is sit in her cabin all day

at one point she drank too much and stumbled into the cabin, Full of lust she tears both your clothing off. she first gets you to suck her off getting her already to penetrate your cunt since you both knew how desperate you were for eachother you both just couldnt fuck due to the crew

but i know definetly they can hear that night of intamacy

lets also talk abt the inazuman girls more mainly miko rn

Yae miko is a very busy cunning woman who can only afford to give half of her time to you but that doesnt mean shes highly possesive over you, leaving condoms filled with her cum in your shared bedroom sometimes from how much she wishes she could be there for her house wife or while at night she wants you to rut against her cock and gets hard at the thought of it. All she can do now is rut against your cunt desperatly not trying to wake you up since she knows how hard her house wife works<3

untill she couldnt take it anymore she needed you she needed your tight cunt around her cock

she softly wakes up that night opening your thighs leaving cute bike marks and hickeys with her fangs as a sense of ownership before her buldge from her night suit is finally clear she pulls down her pants down enough for her semi hard cock to appear before slowly inserting the first few inchs

she was intoxicaited and drugged by how good you felt around her cock spasming already to cum inside but she knew she had to make it special she slowly started to join your hips and disattaxh them but honestly she got too desperate and started pouding away till you woke up

“go back to sleep, mommy’s g’nna make you feel real good princess” you knew you couldnt argue with your wife you cook and clean for her everyday and serve her as much as you could

honestly you thought you fsiled as a wife to have theese urges inside of you but turns out your wife was just as desperate as you <3

Dude I lost my 50/50 on her weapon I feel your pain.

Warnings: Smut written by a minor, possessive tendencies (Shenhe, Miko kinda), creampies (Shenhe), mention of pregnancy(Shenhe), power dynamics (Beidou), submission (Beidou), crying (Beidou), blowjob (Beidou), Riding (Beidou), Somno (Miko),

Links to pt1, pt2, & pt3

She’s so out of touch with society that sometimes she’ll get a bit insecure. Wouldn’t you rather want someone who has more knowledge about modern city life? Someone who can treat you to all the things Liyue has to offer? But she doesn’t let these thoughts get the better of her, not when she can do something about it. And that something is you, when she fucks your brains out. Suit be damned, a thin piece of material won’t get in the way of sex. She’s obsessed with the way her cum drips out of you when your pussy gets full of her. She finds it so incredibly hot how you’ve taken so much of her that the only place left for her cum to go is to drip out.

And it’s this same obsession that lead her to this accidental conception. In her time spent with Chongyun, she’s learned a bit or two about taking care of “kids”. And with the help of Cloud Retainer, she’ll try her best to fulfill the responsibilities of a mother.

A small part of her loves it. You’re “ruined” for anyone else. Not that she’s forcing you to stay with her after, but now your lives are intertwined in ways she didn’t anticipate. Her hand holds yours as she pounds away at you during another late night. You’re already carrying her child, so might as well cum inside again.

As much as she loves having you on board, she can’t always protect you from the dangers out at sea. Beidou feels much more comfortable with you safe and sound on land, even though it makes her miss you like crazy. There isn’t much you can do without the proper training needed to be apart of either the Shield or Spear groups so there isn’t a lot to do to pass the hours. There’s drinking of course, and on one of those nights you stop at a few glasses to go back into the cabin.

When she stumbles in with that look in her eye you know what’s about to happen. But here’s the fun part: when she’s drunk, she’s a lot more sensitive. You found this out long before you boarded. And ever since, with Beidou’s consent of course, you use that to your full advantage.

She has the faintest bit of pre-cum leaking out of her cock. You coo at how sensitive she is, aren’t you just so needy? You’ll hold the tip gently in your hand, softly wrapping your hand around it as you guide it towards your mouth. The sound of her whimpers fills your ears as she buckles greedily into you.

“Been waiting so long to have you like this. Damn the crew if they hear us, I need you”

She’s on the verge of tears as you suck her cock almost all the way. Her hand shakily grip the back of your head; weakly helping you bob your head up and down while massaging her balls for leverage. You’re usually the louder once, but when Beidou’s drunk, her breathy moans are hard to conceal.

Her cock will twitch inside your throat. When her eyebrows crease in pleasure and concentration, she paints your throat white with her cum. When you release your mouth from her cock, with a thin string of saliva connecting the two, you replace your mouth with your cunt as you shift to sit on Beidou’s lap.

She tends to sober up quickly after you suck her off, but she’s too overwhelmed to take full control. She’s tends to be the one to dominate and always loves the power trip. When she’s like this for you, she has no qualms over giving the reins to you.

Straddle her and hope there’s no noise complaints the next day.

Miko hates how she can get caught up in her work so easily. It happens a lot more than she would like since there’s always so much to be done. You’re always on her mind however. The image of your tired body cuddled in her arms, or tending to the various chores you assist with, or having your body spread out for her on the sheets. Sometimes in her office she would take her cock out and stroke it until she came. Sure it was a mess to clean up, but she desperately needed the stress relief.

Miko is mindful of your energy. No matter how much she wants it, she doesn’t want to over-exhaust your poor body. And that was how she started to bring up somno with you. You would get your much needed rest, and she would get her much needed release. She’s only settled with grinding but lately she’s been craving more.

Those first few inches felt like heaven. It feels like it’s been so long since she’s had your wet pussy wrapped around her. She was going to make this last. She started slow as she would any other night. A steady pace so your body can get used to the feeling. Her blunt nails dig into your hips as she began to loose control. It’s as if her instincts are being controlled by something else, something primal within her.

She can sense your eyelids flutter open but quietly shushes you before you can say a word. “You’re doing so good, you’re so good for me, princess. Close your eyes and let Mommy use you to get off.” She has big plans for you tonight, too bad you’ll be asleep for most of it.

[la-pheacienne]

Alright I'm choosing violence yet again because that's what we do in this house.

You guys are seriously creepy about adultery. Like. Seriously. It's not even a joke. In the beginning I thought this bizarre attitude was limited to fandom discourse but I don't think that's the case anymore. I think you guys will eventually need to come to terms with the fact that :

1) Adultery is not criminal behavior, at least in the Western world, since... quite a while actually.

2) Married people can and do fall in love with other people and even occasionally fuck them and this is a very real part of human experience that you need to eventually face.

3) Women who cheat on their husbands are not actually whores.

4) Being "the other woman" (funny phrase) does not automatically give you the seal of ultimate shame, depravity and ruined vagina unlike what your grandma may have told you.

5) Nobody is actually going to give you a golden cookie if you're a faithful god-fearing woman in your own marriage.

6) The fidelity of a man is not and should not be a reward for being a "good"/"correct" woman and having a faithful husband is not the Ultimate Badge of a Woman's Worth and Value unlike popular belief.

7) Likewise, having a man cheat on you does not make you Unworthy, Pathetic and Forever Ruined, it just means they wanted to fuck someone else. A man is not and should not be responsible for your value or worth, not even your husband.

8) From the list of all the harmful things a man can inflict on a woman, cheating is actually the least harmful. It is somehow rebranded as the most harmful, for obvious reasons patriarchy, which leads us to the centuries old pervasive mentality of "he's x, y and z (enter abusive, controlling, boring, horrible in bed) but AT LEAST he LOVES ME he's fAiThFuL and has eyes onLY for ME isn't that rOMaNTIC??". No, it is not. A man can cheat on you after years of being a supportive partner, giving you the best sex of your life, being a great parent for your kids, in short, after years of making your life better in all the ways that matter. A man can be blindly faithful to you and also be a horrible lover and a boring, controlling or abusive partner. Fidelity is socially treated as the number 1 undisputed proof of a man's love for a woman and number 1 undisputed proof of his value as a partner and it absolutely should not be so. This is actually a dangerous mentality and you learned it from me today.

9) Marriage vows are not engraved on our skin, they are not the unbreakable vows of harry potter where if you break them you lose your life, they are not the 10th commandments, they are not the vows of the night's watch. Marriage vows are nothing more than an legal agreement between two people and the state, and agreements are sometimes breached. People's genitals are not automatically covered with sealed concrete when they sign the paper, as much as it would like it to be so. People may agree on fidelity for life but they do preserve their bodily and sexual autonomy and free will even after marriage and sometimes they do prioritize that over their agreement because humans are just like that. I get that this very simple fact sucks, I do. But life sometimes sucks, relationships are unpredictable, people change their minds and can't/don't always want to resist on their desires or needs, and things don't always go as planned because as a general rule, you can't control other people's choices. Only your own.

10) Cheating is a morally reprehensible act, but that doesn't necessarily mean that people who cheat are inherently the epitomy of moral depravity or that their faithful partner is the saint in the relationship. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. Maybe they are both problematic, maybe the cheater is the victim, maybe the faithful partner is actually the problem. It fucking depends. In the year of our lord 2024 you need to perhaps acknowledge that this obsession with fidelity in marriage as the Absolute Hallmark of a healthy relationship and the Ultimate Seal of moral purity is actually a by-product of harmful strict patriarchal/religious values, real life is less black and white and the world is not split between faithful partners with a halo over their head and filthy cheating partners that should be lynched. This is bordering on biological essentialism and let's just say that's not the vibe.

11) A big part of the disgust "cheaters" inspire to a certain category of people is simply thinly concealed sex-averse puritanism, rebranded as ethics. Not all of us fall for that.

12) Feeling hurt, betrayed, traumatized, furious or disgusted after being cheated on is a totally valid reaction. Feeling outraged or disgusted on behalf of other people being cheated on isn't a valid reaction. The scarlet letter was published almost two centuries ago. You are still wayy too comfortable talking about other people's sex lives and passing judgment on account of what they are doing with their own genitals. Likewise, you do not have a say on the cheatee's choice to stay in the marriage. Some people do stay in marriages where they have been cheated on, and no, they are not necessarily weak people with no backbone and/or victims and/or financially dependent on their partner and they don't necessarily need saving. A marriage is an agreement between two (2) people and they are free to agree on whatever the fuck they want. You don't know everything that's going on between them.

The sooner you accept the above facts the easier human relationships will be for you, and as a minor but useful side-effect, navigating certain fandom spaces may become less tedious for you and me both. it's a win-win situation.

[alluraaaa]

transgender voltron thoughts. separated by character. voltrans thoughts

this got long so the rest is under the cut

shiro

trans man. he/him. realized it as a tween. like 11

already had the “shiro” nickname from his surname but chose takashi because it’s the name his mom planned to use. his momma was his best friend growing up so takashi is a special secret name only certain people can casually use for him <3

has a model minority complex and thinks he has to be a perfect person and a perfect role model and perfect everything else. he doesn’t think everyone needs to be like this but he does you don’t get it he needs to be perfect in order to gain basic respect

(he has anxiety) (went thru a frat boy phase tho where he let loose a little)

he’s a bear. when he started t and gained weight and started growing thicker body hair he was like “FUCK YEAH”

wanted top and bottom surgery. irl modern phalloplasty can take skin grafts from the arm and for sillies shiro did that. but on the arm he lost. can’t even show off his cool graft scar 🙄 stupid galra

him and adam are t4t. he picked the name adam because his deadname is eve and he’s the funniest ever

keith

trans man. he/him. realized at like 6

randomly walked up to his dad and said “pops i wanna be a boy” and his dad went “okay son :^)” and helped him with picking a new name and pronouns. that’s why he ended up with keith of all names

his dad planned on helping him with puberty blockers and hrt because keith said he wanted it but. he died before keith got to that age :^(

so unfortunately keith had to go thru one puberty and then another. and THEN he gets a weird galra puberty in his 20s. puberties gerog

shiro was the one to help him get access to testosterone and top surgery <3 yay trans brotherhood ^_^

keith doesn’t care about his junk enough to get bottom surgery tho. he really only got top surgery to get cool ass scars on his chest. he doesn’t give a shit about gender essentialism and isn’t afraid to stab a transphobe ❤️

pidge

trans girl. she/her. also realized when she was real young

same as keith she was just one day like “i wanna be a girl” and her parents were the same and immediately accepted her and helped her with transitioning (she had a bit more social transitioning tho because she wasn’t in the middle of bum fuck nowhere)

unlike keith tho she got to do puberty blockers and start e as a tween and stuff. good for her!

she picked the name katie but it’s not short for anything. she gets the question all the time and she always rolls her eyes

detransitioning for the garrison sucked like ass and she hated it but she did it for her family. coming out to the team was a huge weight off her shoulders

she has a love/hate relationship with femininity but i already went through all that in another post so i’m linking it here. smiles 😁

lance

bigender man/woman. she/he. realizes it while with team voltron

THEE most obvious egg ever. also very obvious bisexual but hasn’t realized that either. it’s painful to watch sometimes (send help to hunk because you know he immediately clocked lance)

he likes women so much because he’s straight!!!! and a lady’s man!!!!!!!!! he doesn’t wanna be a girl and even if he did that’s a universal unspoken secret that all boys have but agree to never talk about!!!!!!!!!!!!

once pidge comes out the rest of the team have more casual talks about being trans and lance is so tbh creature at them. hunk definitely gossips about how clear the closet is behind lance’s back #messy

lance never realizes on her own what happens is keith tells her despite hunk saying that that’s rude. he blatantly tells lance that she obviously wants to be a girl and that she can do that if she wants to. and when she says she likes being a guy keith says she can be both if she wants. she can do whatever she wants forever

after that she thinks about it for like a day and then is like “yayyyyy i’m a boy and a girl and i like boys and girls ^_^”

she has soooo much fun with femininity she plays dress up and is so pretty ❤️ she is indeed a lady’s man but also very clearly wanted to be beautiful like ladies are. and she is ladies!! yayyyyy

didn’t change her name because she loves being leandro alvarez-núñez-cuesta-espinosa so so much ❤️❤️

hunk

agender. any pronouns. realized as a teen

just fully doesn’t care about gender. obviously will respect people’s genders but like. gender as a concept is irrelevant to him and he opted out of gender. he’s too autistic for it tbh

use whatever pronouns you want. make up funny pronouns. fuck it we ball

“this is hunk bong’s my best friend i love bong so much” “lance oh my god”

hunk is a childhood nickname and only family (and lance) know his birthname. didn’t care enough to change it when coming out. he likes his name!! why change it!!

he’s a genius mechanic with access to super advanced alien technology so for funsies he invents a machine that can do instant top and/or bottom surgery with no problem. he can mess around with it for funsies or fashion or whatever. and ofc the team has free access to it as well <3 the only one to use it often tho is lance #besties

allura

trans girl. she/her. realized not long before the events of the show

the post about trans allura that inspired this whole post here

was able to use her shapeshifting powers to her transvantage (trans advantage)

her being out for not long before the war is why she was so excited that pidge is a girl. she’s a girl making friends with other girls!!!!!! and that excitement doubles when learning that pidge is earth’s equivalent of trans yayyyyy

in my mind the notion of people fitting into gender roles on altea is the same vibe as the notion of women wearing skirts not pants irl. like that’s an outdated idea but not that outdated unfortunately :^/

i don’t think there was major misogyny or transphobia on altea tho. not sure if it makes sense to anyone else but it makes sense in my mind ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

coran

nonbinary. any pronouns

when allura came out she sat down with her parents and coran (honorary third parent) and talked about her feelings and thoughts on gender as a whole. coran went “oh. is that not how cis people think?”

he’s not a man or a woman but he’s not sure what he is exactly. he’s coran!

he’d make homemade hrt. may or may not have weird side effects

[emisprocrastinatingbywriting]

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 11 Summary:

After leaving Cooper back at the house, Paul takes you back to the one place you hoped to never return to. Hoping to persuade you, he takes you on a trip down memory lane but you aren't the woman Paul thinks you are anymore. Instead of a docile wife, he gets Joel fucking Miller's mate. (Good fucking luck pal) With Joel racing to get to the abandoned camp, can you keep Paul from doing anything brash before the love of your life can get to you? More importantly, can you keep your own anger from getting the best of you?

Warnings: Past Trauma Came Back to Be a Current Trauma, Reader Faces a Toxic Ass Ex, Violence, Threat of SA, Reader Needs a Fucking Hug, Joel Needs a Hug, Panicked and then Happier Reunions, Bits of Joel's Past Trauma Make Him Lose His Shit, Read with Caution

A/N:

Hey y'all! Aaaaand, we back! Hope everyone's week has been good. It is 4am and I have to get on a plane to Spain today at like 7, so let's jump right in.

So, this week is heavy on the violence. Reader is back at her old camp with Paul and they have a bit of a throwdown. Also trigger warning for, because it's Paul and he fucking sucks, threat of SA. Except this time it is definitly realer so, watch it if that is a problem for you. As always, take care of yourselves. Either way, reader and Joel DO reunite in this chapter. It just isn't... how you hope they will. And that is all I will say about that! Enjoy!

Chapter 11/20

Chapter 11: The Breaking Point

When you were five years old, the world had been turned upside down. That day haunted you for many reasons as it changed the trajectory of not only your life, but of the lives of the entire human race as well. However, that wasn’t what kept the day consistently fresh in your mind. Selfishly, it was the afternoon before the shit hit the fan that stayed with you even twenty years later. 

The day had been warm. It was your first year in kindergarten and you loved every moment of it. Learning new things and playing with other kids was everything you could’ve dreamed of. Being an only child, sometimes it felt that the only friends you had were your parents. Despite the usual worries about fitting in, you were quickly taken in by fellow classmates and were beginning to get comfortable in the new environment. 

Nevertheless, you had immediately ditched the group of new friends when your father had rolled up to the curb during recess in his beaten up Nissan. Running and shouting for him, you launched yourself face first into the driver’s side window and were met with boisterous laughter. After settling you in the front seat beside him, a treat that he had made you promise not to tell your mother about, he had taken you for an impromptu ice cream date. 

Even as a fully grown woman, when you remembered that day you could still taste the sweetness of the bubblegum ice cream that had made your hands sticky. Your father had listened to you babble about toys, games, the other kids in your class, and everything that a child’s brain experienced in the run of a day. Never once did he interrupt, other than to comment on the side characters or to agree with some point you had made. For a five year old girl, the day was perfect. 

That was until the sound of a slap had drawn your attention away from the tasty treat that dripped down your hands. Peering over from the picnic bench, you watched as an alpha gripped his mate’s arm hard and berated him in front of the ice cream truck. The omega looked a little afraid but mostly, you noticed that the poor guy just looked exhausted. If anything, you had been more afraid than he. 

In your five years of life, not once had you ever seen an alpha act like that. Your father was a sweet man who spent his time designing the layout of people’s dream homes in his office. When he wasn’t doing that, you had vague memories of him cooking and slow dancing with your mother when she got home from work. Not once had he hit her, nor anyone else, which meant that the sight of another alpha doing so was terrifying. 

“Stay here metuka, I’ll be back in a second,”he mumbled to you, rising from the table to diffuse the situation. 

An argument had broken out between your father and the frightening man, leading to the cops being called and the alpha being taken away in handcuffs. Your father had stayed with the shaken omega, comforting him until an older woman came to pick him up. The entire time, you watched the situation unfold. Half in awe, half in terror, the ice cream in your hand had melted entirely by the time your father returned. 

The vibrant pink treat was stuck to nearly every inch of your skin and clothes. Your father wasn’t mad, he never was. Instead, he had made a joke about it and brought you home for a bath. You remembered how the air was filled with your father’s words as he washed the stickiness from your skin, with him trying desperately to change your mood. It was only when he had moved to wash the suds from your hair that you finally piped up. 

“Why would he hit his mate like that papa?,” you whispered. 

His hands paused before they resumed their work. The shampoo he used was your favorite, boasting no tears for the kids that used it. However, anytime you tried to wash it out yourself, your parents would have to comfort their crying child as it burned your retinas. It was for that reason that you weren’t allowed to use it by yourself yet. Shielding your eyes from the watermelon scented suds, your father gently rinsed it from your hair as he pondered the question. 

“Sometimes alphas can be… Well, they can be mean. It isn’t right but they think they can act like that because they think omegas aren’t as good as them,” your father explained carefully. 

The notion of a world where one was above the other, where omegas were somehow lesser than, was new to you. Growing up, it had been your mother with the high paying job as a lawyer, while your father stayed home with you in lieu of daycare. It was only once you were enrolled in kindergarten that he had returned to his job as an architect. Although, he still only did it part time. With the money your mother was making, there was no need for him to jump back in right away and he preferred to spend time with you anyways. 

“But why?,” you pushed him, still not understanding why an alpha would hurt their mate. 

He hummed as the water finally ran clear, urging you to sit up so that he could wring the errant drops of water out of your hair. After pausing to think for a moment, your father had answered you in a voice so soft that you barely heard him. 

“People are only mean to other people to make themselves feel better. Alphas like that, they feel like they have to be scary or else they won’t be seen as strong. It has nothing to do with anyone but themselves.” 

You had blinked at that, unsure of what to make of such a statement. It was too big of a topic for a five year old. The idea of someone pretending to be anyone other than themselves was too large for the mind of someone who didn’t even know who they were yet. Still, you tried to understand as your father toweled you off, straining against the confines of a child’s mind to grasp the concept. 

“But…,” you paused before trying again, “But you aren’t mean papa.”  

He had laughed at that, looking up at you as he dried off your feet. Watching as his curls bounced against his forehead with his laughter, you felt as though you might start laughing alongside him. He always had that effect on people. As an adult, even as the lesser memories faded, you always remembered how talented the man was at drawing people out of their shells and making them smile. 

“Well thank you bubs but that’s how it’s supposed to be,” he chuckled. 

Reaching behind himself to grab the clothes on the sink, he continued to speak as he clothed you. 

“Promise me one thing, okay? I don’t know who you’re going to be when you get older, alpha, omega, beta, whatever, but just promise me you won’t be that guy. Or, if you present as an omega like mommy, promise me that you won’t be with someone like him. Okay?” 

His eyes had looked at you hopefully, hands pausing their efforts to roll your Little Mermaid socks on. You smiled at him. 

“I promise papa.” 

He nodded, “Good. Kindness isn’t something that I ever want you to opt out of. Whether that be how you act towards someone else or how someone acts towards you. Choose to be kind and choose to surround yourself with people who are kind to you. Do you understand?” 

You had nodded at his request and he smiled, leaning forward to blow a raspberry on your cheek until you giggled. 

“Papa! Stop it!,” you squealed. 

His smile had widened. The look on his face turned mischievous as he proposed, “Come on, let’s see if we can find any of mommy’s sweets before she gets home hm?” 

You remembered the excitement you had felt at that, racing after your father to raid the not-so-secret, secret hiding place where your mother hid Reese’s Pieces and Kit Kats from her family. The next few hours had been perfect, binging snacks and playing with your dad until the world quite literally ended later that evening. 

Even then, it was still okay for a while. Sure, you had been scared at times but your father always held his head high, which made everyone else around him feel like everything would eventually be okay. Despite the impossible odds and grueling circumstances, your father was still making his family laugh well into the first few months of the apocalypse. It was too bad that he had only lasted about half a year before getting bit. 

Unbeknownst to him, even as other memories of him had faded away, the advice he gave you that day remained clear and unaltered. Perhaps it was the gravity of the day, it being the final moments of civilization, but you didn’t think so. No, it was the lesson itself. Through every moment of your fucked up life, the people in it had been judged to that standard. 

Sometimes it was easy, with people like Josiah or Paul being clearly placed on one side of the spectrum, but other times it was harder. It had been hard for you to judge Joel at first, with his crankiness and inability to open up. Nevertheless after a few days with the man, you placed him easily on the opposite end as them. 

Joel might have been hard to get to know, but the wait was worth it. He was soft underneath it all and actually put in a real effort to make you happy. It was everything you could’ve wanted and you knew your father would have approved of the match, despite the age difference. However, somewhere along the line you had begun to wonder whether he would have approved of you. 

Sitting in the passenger seat of the shitty car, next to the man you hated most in this world, you couldn’t see yourself in any of those people. The alpha who had hit his mate did so out of a need for dominance but that wasn’t you. And the omega who had taken the abuse had done so out of duty but you didn’t feel like that was you either. Maybe it had been at one point, when Josiah and his crew had scared you into obedience, but not now. 

Even your father, the standard for what it meant to be kind, was not someone you saw yourself in anymore either. He had been too tender for a world like this one, having literally thrown himself in front of infected for a woman that he didn’t even know. Meanwhile, you had slaughtered the majority of a town to regain someone that had been taken from you. You tried to imagine a world where your father would do that but couldn’t. Acts of violence simply weren't in his wheelhouse. 

That meant that you were something else entirely. An elusive fourth category that you couldn’t quite grasp, despite your attempts at identifying it as the car turned off the road just before the I-80. It was not for dominance, or duty, or for the desire to be good that you had slashed through Paul’s men. None of those reasons held any value to you. 

The fierce protectiveness over the man you loved had propelled you into action back at the cabin. Yet it was an inherited rage that trickled down to you from generations of people who had been taken for granted that kept you going. How dare anyone take him. And how dare they assume that you would lay down and let it happen because of some bullshit myth about biological inferiority. 

Rumbling down the snow covered road, you held your breath, trying to calm the rage that still burned within as Paul carefully followed the tire tracks that led to the old camp. Returning to the place you had spent a good portion of your life in was strange. The homecoming fell flat, with nothing but ghosts to greet the two of you as the car neared the gate. 

“Why here?,” you wondered aloud. 

The question seemed to catch him off guard, you having been silent since the squabble that had taken place just an hour before. 

“Because it’s where this all began, angel.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, “Wouldn’t just shooting me be easier? Why take me to a place filled with infected? Kinda overkill if you ask me.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ve already cleared them out. Knew I’d get my sweet little wife back here at some point. Thought that a nice trip down memory lane might be what she needs to remember her place,” he said pointedly. 

You tried not to gag, staring at the bruise along his jaw before you turned back to the window with a huff. 

Tried as you might to fight Paul, he had tripped you up at the very last moment and managed to tie your hands together. Rather than kill you, as you had hoped he might, the man decided he wanted to go on what he called “an adventure”. It frustrated you. The thought of dying was way more preferable than having to take an impromptu road trip with Paul. 

As the trees receded, you watched as the skeleton of your old camp was revealed. The gate was wide open, beckoning the vehicle onto the empty streets. After passing through the first few homes, you tried not to cry as you passed Jake’s aunt's house. The tiny home where the two of you had swapped contraband books and chattered about teenage crushes was ruined. The majority of the building had been destroyed in the flames. 

“You weren’t there when the dumbasses brought out the molotovs huh? Fucking mess, half of them missed the horde and it ended up destroying most of the town,” Paul commented as he followed your gaze towards the wreckage. 

You looked away from the scenery as the car neared your old home. There was no part of you that wanted any more memories of that place. You had escaped. It didn’t matter that you were at the camp again, it would never have the same hold on you. And neither would Paul. For the remainder of the drive you kept silent, locked within your own mind as he neared the edge of camp. 

“Okay, we’re here,” Paul announced as he parked in front of the old chapel. 

One side of it had been blackened by the flames but besides that, the place where Josiah had preached his poison remained entirely untouched. 

Shame , you thought. If there was one place that deserved to burn, it was the chapel that had sponsored nothing but hatred for years. 

The steeple still held the cross that loomed over visitors, making you feel uneasy as the shadow of it slid across the side of the car. The shutters on all of the windows were shut, though a few of them rattled against the window panes with the breeze. With the snow shoveled off the steps, it looked just as it always had on the evenings when you were forced into prayer circles or grueling all night confessionals. 

Paul wrenched the door to the driver’s side open, pulling you from the chilling thoughts as he stomped around the front of the car. An involuntary yelp fell from your lips as he opened the passenger side with such force that it shook the car. Before you could think to resist, he yanked you from the seat. Fingers pressing into the blackened indents he had left days earlier, your already damaged wrist creaked under the pressure of his grasp. 

“Fucking watch it,” you hissed.  

Paul smirked but ignored your protests, tugging you alongside him as he climbed the stairs. His long strides made it impossible for you to catch up. Stumbling behind him, you fought against the zip ties to free your hands. The plastic restraints left reddened indents on your skin but barely budged despite your struggle.  

The smell of the dusty building made you sneeze and it echoed off the vaulted ceiling. Stone floors gave way to a huge wooden cross hung near the altar. An emaciated man looked down at you from it, wincing at the nails driven into his hands as he hung there. You had always found the display jarring. If people loved this guy so much, you never understood why they thought it was a good idea to depict his death in nearly every place of worship or even with the jewelry they wore. If Paul stabbed you to death today, you didn’t expect Joel to start wearing a blade around his neck tomorrow. 

You laughed at the morbid thought, drawing a confused look from Paul that you ignored. 

No, that would be weird. If anything, you hoped that when Paul killed you that Joel would simply take care of himself. That he would continue to eat, sleep, play his guitar, carve things, and above all, for him to not close himself off again. Maybe Joel would even go live with his brother in Jackson, rather than resigning himself to solitude again. It was a pipe dream and you knew it, but it didn’t stop you from manifesting it into existence. 

Paul stepped before you and swung the basement door open, nudging you towards the dimly lit steps until you haphazardly stumbled down them. The space was as you remembered it, with discarded boxes and books everywhere. You half expected to come across Cooper tucked away in his corner, twiddling his thumbs in the quiet room while the rest of camp busied themselves elsewhere. But Cooper was nowhere to be found, leaving you alone with his terrifying brother. 

The only new edition to the space was the candles that covered nearly every inch of the floor. Some were even placed upon the stacked books. Melted wax stained the paperbacks before it dripped down to the awful carpet below. Half of them were scented, leading to a cacophony of smells that sparked a dull ache in the base of your skull. The only consolation was that the stifling mix of fragrances almost covered Paul’s sickly sweet stench entirely.  

Stepping around a row of bookshelves, you noticed that two chairs and a table were placed in the middle of the room. Wine glasses were set out, accompanied by what looked to be one of the treasured bottles of whiskey that Josiah used to hide amongst the clutter. It seemed that you weren’t the only one who had figured out where he had stashed the liquor before the place fell. 

“I thought I was the only one who knew where he hid it,” you blurted out. 

Paul smiled at you. His eyes were flat despite the expression on his face and the wink he gave you made your stomach drop.  

“I thought a nice night was in order. This is going to be our first night together as man and wife after all,” he sighed dreamily.  

Scoffing at the implication as he led you towards the table, you glared at him while he tucked you into one of the seats. Paul leaned forward and you grimaced as he flicked open his pocket knife. He grabbed your hands, making you hold your breath until he slipped the blade against the zip tie and snapped the plastic. 

“Be good and maybe I’ll keep these off, got it?,” he said, pressing the knife to your throat for emphasis. 

The blade was cool against your skin and goosebumps formed around it. Despite the desire to grab at the hilt of it and drive it into his chest, you refrained. Swallowing your pride, you nodded. Paul pressed it harder for a moment, making you tense up before he finally set it down. Chuckling as he walked to the other side of the table, you watched as he took his seat. 

Silence filled the air as the two of you stared at each other. Paul’s gaze was sinister, while yours was pointed with rage. With you sat in front of him, he looked like a beast that had finally caught its prey. It made you even more annoyed. 

“Well this is… something,” you mumbled cheekily. 

Paul laughed, showing off his crooked teeth as he threw his head back. You recoiled at the sound, the last thing you wanted to do was give this man any bit of joy. 

“My, my, how you’ve changed angel,” he chuckled, “Knew you were a bit disobedient before; the preacher’s sweet stepdaughter who pressed the line when nobody was looking. It was cute, sexy even. But now, you’re downright insolent.” 

You cocked your head. Paul had no idea what kind of insolence you were capable of. 

“You’re goddamn right I am,” you agreed. 

The air was thick with tension. A darkness settled across Paul’s features and you sat back against your seat, waiting for the inevitable torment that he planned to inflict. His eyes raked over your form before they landed on your neck. The mark that adorned it was uncovered, standing proudly against your skin despite Paul’s attempts to sear it off with his gaze. 

“I always knew that your kind were desperate little things but I genuinely thought you were different. That was my mistake, thinking that you understood the rules. I let you prance around until I decide that you’re ready, then you were supposed to be mine for the taking.” 

The words lit a spark in your chest and heat radiated out into your limbs, making your fingers twitch with frustration as you listened to him speak. What Paul was telling you was sick. There was no prancing around the camp, and you certainly didn’t feel the need to apologize for not knowing the rules to some twisted game he had envisioned. You were a child when you arrived at the camp, not some prize for him to win once you reached a suitable age. 

Paul hummed, cocking his head at your silence, “Nothing to say? That’s alright, we’ve got all night for confessions.” 

Rolling your eyes, you sighed, “What do you want from me Paul?” 

He ignored the question and reached forward to uncork the bottle. Despite the strained silence, his hands were steady as he poured the amber liquid and pushed one of the glasses towards you. A bit of it sloshed over the side, staining the perfectly white tablecloth below. Paul huffed and covered the spot with a napkin. He dabbed at it for a moment before he nodded at you to take a sip. The casualness of his actions annoyed you to no end. 

“It doesn’t matter what you do to me. I hope you know that.” 

Paul grinned, “Doesn’t it?” 

“No. Joel is mine and I am his. You can hurt me. You can kill me. Shit, you can even do the same to him but it won’t matter. You. Lost. Nothing can change that,” you snapped at him. 

The words irked him, hardening the lines in his face as you leaned in for emphasis. You laughed and it filled the air, making him flinch despite his attempts to keep his face schooled. 

“Joel is the one who gets to have me. He gets to take care of me, touch me, fuck me, anything he wants and fuck, is he good at it. See, my mate doesn’t need to overcompensate for anything,” you sneered, flicking your eyes up and down Paul’s body as he fumed under the scrutiny.

Paul leaned forward, smelling of rotted candies and sweat as the air crackled with energy. The proximity made you nauseous but you refused to pull back first. 

As if his soul sensed your discomfort, Joel’s presence on the planet made itself known when the mark on your neck throbbed almost painfully. It was unlike any of the other times, when he had been unwittingly calling out for you from his imprisonment. This was sharper and unrelenting, with a deep ache sending jolts of agony all the way to your jaw as you tried to keep your cool. 

Joel was somewhere and he was scared. No, not scared. Joel Miller was fucking terrified. Instincts going wild from the unseen threat poised towards your mate, the muscles in your back tensed as your body readied itself for a fight. It was pointless. There was nothing you could do for him from here. That was all you could think of as Paul stood from his seat.

He grabbed his glass, lifting it in the air as his malicious scowl pierced through you. 

“A toast then, to Joel Miller! The man who turned my perfect, pure wife into a fucking stupid slut. May he rest easy,” Paul chuckled darkly. 

You shifted in your seat, hand cupping where Joel had staked his claim. The corners of your vision blurred as your heart pounded in your chest. Beads of sweat formed along your hairline, the droplets rolling down your face as he smiled down at you. 

“So you do feel each other? I’ve always wondered if that was a myth or not,” he mused, words half muffled as he leaned in to sip his drink.  

That got your attention. Dread hooked into your heart, pulling you back down into a darkness that you had only recently discovered in yourself. With the bond thrumming with Joel’s despair and your adversary leering at you from behind a whiskey glass, you let it take hold of you. It calmed the shivers that racked your frame, slowing your shallow breaths until you were calm enough to grab the glass Paul had poured for you. 

He watched as you downed it in one go and slammed it back down. It burned the entire way down but soothed the hunger pangs that you had been ignoring for days. You hummed at the taste of it, smacking your lips at the notes of caramel and spice. 

“That bothers you, doesn’t it?,” Paul teased, “Bet he’s dead before I even get done breaking you open on my knot. The old man looked pretty banged up when I saw him earlier. I think-” 

“Is this bourbon? I thought it was single malt but no, it’s too sweet to be that. What is it? Woodford Reserve? I bet it is, Josiah loved that shit,” you cut in, dampening the twisted smile on his face. 

Paul blinked, “Is it - What? Did you hear what I just said?” 

You nodded and reached forward, pouring yourself another glass as he sputtered before you. The second glass slid down easier and warmth flooded your face. Emboldened at his surprise, you poured another but left the glass on the table, letting it breathe as you leaned back and stared at the alpha. Paul was furious. A vein popped out of the side of his head as he clenched his fists together tight. 

“He’s going to fucking die, do you hear me?! That fucking prick is dead and you are going to do as I say!,” Paul roared as he launched his glass against the wall behind you. 

It smashed somewhere amongst the candles and papers but you gritted your teeth, remaining steady as warning bells went off in your head. Taking a subtle breath, you simply cocked your head at him as he fumed from across the table. 

“You know, you’re right Paul, I can feel him. Which means that I know that he’s still alive. So threats aren’t really going to cut it unfortunately,” you said. 

Nostrils flaring, Paul rounded the table. Stomping towards you angrily, you gulped as he pulled your chair sideways to face him. Looming over you, his eyes desperately tried to penetrate the barrier you had formed around yourself since the day Joel was taken. You didn’t blame Paul for trying, it used to be so easy to make you scared. 

You sucked in a breath as his thumb dragged along your lower lip, pressing down against the pillowy skin before he let his hand drop. The grotesque mixture of sweat, blood, and dirt caked his fingers, leaving behind a smear of filth that made you gag. 

“What are you thinking, angel? That you can beat me and then go get him all by yourself?,” Paul chuckled and shook his head, “Little superhero are we? Be reasonable.” 

Instead of answering his taunt, you plucked your drink from the table. Taking a long draw from the glass, you sucked back half of it before you looked back at Paul. Splotches of red crept up along his neck, discoloring the already bruised skin with rage. It made you smile. 

“Is this fucking funny to you?,” Paul hissed. 

You nodded, grinning wider at the way his face scrunched up even further. Nevertheless, the amusement was short lived as one of Paul’s hands reached down to his belt and worked it open menacingly. His gaze was fixed on you when your eyes snapped to his face. There was nothing behind his eyes as he ripped the leather from his belt loops and it was terrifying. With his belt flung somewhere behind him, Paul twiddled with the top button to his jeans. 

“Think it’s time for a lesson, wife.” 

It was now or never. 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, husband,” you agreed. 

Before Paul had a moment to register your words, the half emptied drink in your hand was slammed against his head. He cried out in pain as the glass tore open the skin of his forehead. The amber liquid dripped down his face, burning his eyes despite his discoordinated attempts to wipe them clean. 

With Paul occupied, you launched off the chair. The force of your body knocked him over an errant box and sent the both of you tumbling to the floor. The impact of the fall was lessened by Paul’s body but your head knocked against his harshly. The both of you grunted at the collision but it was him that managed to right himself first. 

He flipped you over, slamming you back against the cold floor as his fingers crept up your torso and squeezed your trachea. You tried desperately to pry his hands off. A cough wiggled up from your burning chest but it was halted by the brutal grip. Panic set in as his fingers expertly pushed into the blood vessels, cutting off the supply of oxygen to your brain. Dizzied and weak from his hold, it began to feel like you were fighting against air. 

“Aw, my sweet angel, can’t believe it’s to come to this,” Paul squeezed harder, “Thought it could be like it was before but no, you need some harsher lessons for this to work.” 

Fingernails scrabbling against his arms, neck, and face, you fought as hard as you could. Tears blurred your vision, making it impossible for you to track his movements as he moved one of his hands down to fight with the zipper of his jeans. Paul bared nearly the entirety of his weight against your neck as he worked himself out of his pants until it felt like something inside of it might burst. Crushed beneath him, you could barely react at the feeling of his hardness poking your thigh. 

“Been waiting years for this, since the first day I met you. Such a sweet little fucking tease, can’t wait to fuck any trace of him out of you,” Paul rambled.  

He spoke only to himself. You weren’t even in the room. Floating somewhere between life and death, your head lolled to the side as he released himself from the confines of his boxers. This was it. There was nothing you could do. You blinked deeply, slowly letting the dark edges bleed into your vision. It would be easier this way. Unconscious or dead, at least you wouldn’t have to feel what Paul was about to do. 

A palm cracked down against your cheek and your face snapped in the opposite direction. You coughed as the pressure on your neck ceased. The air was acrid as you sputtered and wheezed beneath Paul. The thickness of the scent coated the back of your throat and tickled your lungs. Despite the grogginess, you worked against the fog to pinpoint the smell but it was nearly impossible as another round of smacks were rained down against your face. 

“Oh no angel, you don’t get to check out for this. I want you to remember everything,” he laughed. 

While the breaths were difficult, with your throat swelling and aching from the abuse, you greedily sucked in the putrid air. There was something off about it but soon your vision cleared and you managed to get your bearings. It only took five seconds after that for your eyes to land on the source of the smell. 

Flames grew from one side of the room, spreading out from where Paul had thrown his glass against the wall. The liquor had acted as an enabler for the flame to tear through the disorganized mess of candles, paper and cardboard. The fire spread at an alarming rate, eating up anything in its path as you slapped Paul’s chest with a renewed sense of vigor. 

“F-fire,” you wheezed, barely intelligible. 

With his length bobbing menacingly between his legs as he worked to pry open your jeans, Paul only hummed at your attempts to warn him. 

“Hm? What’s that? Let me guess, you were trying to say fuck you. Is that it?,” he jeered. 

Shaking your head wildly, you slapped at his shoulders harder as smoke began to force water from your eyes. With the fire slowly taking up chunks of the basement, it seemed the alpha was only focused on one thing. 

The broken, “N-no,”you called out was lost in another round of hacking as Paul ripped the pants clean off of your legs. 

You silently thanked every force in the universe that you had not forgotten underwear. The thought of him seeing a part of you that you had only ever felt comfortable showing one specific person was too much. He reached for the frilly fabric, dodging your legs as you kicked at him.  

“F-fucking idiot,” you gritted out. 

That halted his assault. Reaching down, Paul pinched your face in one of his hands and you winced at the fresh bruises that formed from the grip. 

“What was that slut? Any last quips before I take back what’s mine?” 

You cleared your throat, fighting against the smoke that threatened to clog your lungs to spit out a raggedy gasp of, “Fire.” 

With his hard cock in his hand as he surveyed the room, you watched as the realization dawned on him. Paul’s mouth opened and closed at the sight. The majority of the room was covered with flames. You could tell that he was awestruck at his own blindness and it angered you. This moment of weakness was due to his own sick need to dominate you, and for what? 

Using all the strength you had left to flip him over, you were sobered at the realization that this rage was not new. It had not been born out of your mate being taken from you. For years it had simmered under the surface until it finally boiled over following Joel’s abduction. The anger you felt was more than anger, it was a purely feminine wrath that had been building since you were old enough to understand the incident at the ice cream truck 20 years earlier. 

With your mouth filled with blood and your lungs burning, you snatched the knife from Paul’s belt and slammed it into his shoulder. He screamed in pain and you twisted it around before yanking it out. Obscenities poured from his mouth as you slashed at his cheeks but you ignored them. Blood splattered against your face, covering you in red as you pushed the blade into the other shoulder. Paul choked on his breaths as the blade sunk deeper, his hands trying to slap you away as you ruthlessly sawed it back and forth before pulling it from him. 

This wasn’t just about you or even Paul. It was about the omega who had been slapped that day years before. It was about your mother, the law firm partner who ruled the courts and came home to a loving husband who was morphed into an obedient housewife. It was about Jake and Cooper who, despite their apparent relatively decent bond, had been forced into their roles nonetheless. It was about the generations of people - alpha, beta, or omega - who had been made to obey someone else’s word, regardless of how they felt about it.  

You screamed out, letting years of bottled up rage explode in Paul’s face as the room around you began to collapse. He coughed, eyes unfocused and rolling in their sockets as he twitched at the blood loss. The wounds on his body spurted out short jolts of blood, turning the carpet below him crimson. 

“Please,” he begged pitifully. 

Disgust was all you felt at the state of him as you dropped the knife. It clattered to the floor near his head but he didn’t reach to grab it. You weren’t entirely sure that he was able to anyways. Standing from the floor, you sucked your teeth at him. Paul’s head was split open from the glass, cheeks slashed and bubbling with red as his cock laid pitifully against the outside of his jeans. The wounds on his neck and shoulder gaped and pulsed rivulets of blood that added to the stains on the floor. His desperate attempts to staunch the flow were mediocre at best, he was much too weak to cover the holes in his skin effectively. 

You looked down at him with tired eyes as the room burned around the both of you. The ice in Paul’s gaze melted, making him look like nothing more than a scared little boy as you glowered at him. 

“I don’t know what happened to you that made you this way, but fuck you. You will die here and I am going to keep living. Do you understand me? I am fucking done with all of this shit,” you said coolly. 

A loud crack broke through the moment and you looked up, watching as the ceiling began to concave with the flames licking at the foundation of the building. You needed to get out of here, lest you burn to death in the god forsaken chapel alongside Paul. Sparing him one last look, you shook your head at the pleading look in his eyes. 

“You. Lose. Goodbye Paul.” 

With the last word uttered, you scurried off towards the stairs. The flames roared at you from all angles, closing in as you ran as fast as your damaged body would allow. Just as you reached the bottom step, the building itself started to shift. You froze as the structure groaned. 

“Oh shit,” you swore. 

Flying up the steps, you took them two at a time until you launched yourself through the basement door. The air on the ground level was worse, with the entirety of the sanctuary cloaked in thick smoke that irritated your throat. You gagged, dropping down to your knees as you choked on the poison. Retching against the stones, sweat and tears tracked through the soot that covered your face as all of the whiskey in your stomach was purged. 

You groaned at the way your abdominal muscles ached, trying to force out vomit that didn’t exist. With nothing left to purge and no end to the endless smoke inhalation, exhaustion wormed its way into your body. The comfort of the end beckoned you, luring you in with its promise of rest but you ignored it. Crawling on all fours to get to the door as you hacked up black, you were shocked at your own will to live. 

Despite the lack of evidence, you knew you needed to get outside. There was no reasoning behind this incessant need to get to freedom. It would be easier to give up. Less painful for sure, given the state of your body. The reason for your determination was unfathomable but it pushed you the last few inches.

Fresh air shocked your system, launching you into a fit of forceful coughs that knocked you off balance. You cursed Paul as every ice covered bit of concrete jammed into your ribs on the way down. However, the embrace of the snow was welcoming as you landed in a heap at the bottom. The cold bled into your legs, soothing the burns that you didn’t even realize that you had acquired. 

A voice called to you from far away. It was deep and honeyed with a familiar southern twang. The voice beckoned you to stay with him. You smiled at his request, burrowing yourself deeper into the darkness. Joel was calling to you from the other side, you were sure of it. He sounded so desperate, sobbing as he screamed your name and pleaded. It would’ve made you cry too, had you not already begun to heed his request. 

It was funny. Before today, you had never believed in an afterlife. It was too big of a question and you refused to let it rule your life, preferring to find out when the time came like everyone else. But as Joel Miller begged desperately for you to come back to him, you comforted yourself with the belief that this was your afterlife. You would be with him forever. It didn’t matter that it was through death that the two of you would see eachother again. You would follow Joel anywhere. 

Sinking further into the black, you sighed and let yourself be carried off into the wind. 

 - Joel - 

Joel had screamed. 

The volume of it alone forced the birds from their nests in the surrounding trees. It was a desperate and strangled cry, something that he didn’t even know he was capable of until it left his mouth. 

Joel had raced down the poorly shoveled road, tearing through town after he spied the smoke blackening the air from the gate. It was only when he reached the burning chapel that he realized just how bad it was. The building looked to be on the verge of collapse, swaying as the fire tore through every bit of material holding it in place. 

Ripping himself from the car, Joel sprinted towards the door. Before he could reach the steps, he was met with the sight of you stumbling from the building in a fit of painful sounding coughs. The sight of you had comforted him for a moment, seeing you alive despite the odds stacked against you. 

Joel rushed forward as you fell back against the snow, skidding to a stop and reaching down to gather you in his arms. Your breathing was strained and he begged you to follow his breaths. A sigh was all you responded with. Joel felt it as your body stilled against him and his soul broke open. A hoarse cry reverberated in the open air, heard but nobody except himself. 

He felt like a wild animal as he tore through his mind for any medical miracles he could think of. Suddenly, it dawned on him. The act would probably not work, he knew that, but he had to try. With hot tears streaming down his face, Joel tore your sweatshirt down the middle with his bare hands. 

He started the compressions, choking on anguish as forced life back into your body. Heart pounding in his chest, Joel called for you endlessly.

“Come on baby, come back to me. It’s okay, we’ll b-be okay. Please, please, please…”

Joel felt his hands crack through your ribs and he could’ve sworn his chest ached alongside you. It hurt him to do this, to break open your ribcage in order to get to your stilled heart, but he kept going.  He tilted your head back, pinching the soft part of your nose as he blew two lungfuls of air into your mouth. 

For some reason, he had hoped that the oxygen would miraculously rouse you and he cried out when your body didn’t respond. Restarting the compressions again, more panic seared through his every nerve ending. The rest of the world faded away and it was only your lifeless body, him, and flashes of the other people in his life that he failed to save. 

You couldn’t die. Not like this, not now. It felt like the world had ended again, only this time it felt even worse. It was like one of his limbs had been chopped off. The mark on his neck burned as he pushed into your chest and Joel’s heart sputtered at the feeling. The presence you had on this earth was stored somewhere in his instincts, making him feel you everyday despite the distance but now, he felt it no longer. 

“Please darling, please, please, please! I can’t do this again, I need you. D-don’t go, you said you wouldn’t go…,” Joel sobbed. 

No response. 

Another round of breaths and he was back to cracking your ribs under his hands. He felt like he was going to puke. It was all too much. Joel needed you to live but the longer you remained still, the further away that possibility seemed to be. What was there left for him to do? Even the most avidly trained medical staff before the outbreak would have been hard pressed to bring you back. 

The realization that this was it, this was the end for you,  slowed his compressions. Tears welled up in his eyes at the sight of your lifeless body as he stopped altogether. How could this happen to him… again? What was the point of it all, if this was how it was going to end? Rage bubbled up from deep within his heart and he exploded. 

“FUCK!,” Joel roared, slamming his fist down hard against something solid yet squishy. 

Joel had aimed for the ground but missed, instead slamming his fist against your chest. He reeled back in shock, feeling absolutely disgusted with himself for disrespecting your body like that. Even in death, the thought of ever hurting you was too much to bear and he suddenly wanted to walk backwards into the burning building. However, the guilt was soon replaced with shock as you twitched. 

Eyes rolling in their sockets, Joel watched as began to fight for air as you gagged helplessly on your back. He swore, flipping you so that you faced him on your side. With him petting your knotted hair and whispering encouragement, you puked up a pitiful amount of blackened bile. 

Joel waited until you were done before he peeked into your mouth to ensure that there was nothing left to choke on. Despite the clear airway, uneasiness seeped into his chest as your body remained still. Joel moved his head down to press his ear to your chest, leaning in close to listen. After a second of readjustment, having to switch to his good ear to listen properly, he sighed as he heard the steady thump of your heart. 

A sob of relief tore from his lips. He pressed his face into your chest, kissing the spot where he heard your pulse in thanks. Tears dripped from Joel’s face, landing on your face, neck, and chest as he hovered over you. As life rattled through your body once more, he tried his best not to shatter under the weight of your near death experience. He allowed himself another moment of anguish before he swallowed it down. Gathering you up in his arms, Joel hugged you to his chest and lifted you from the ground. 

He was still crying as he walked towards the car, legs trembling as he slid into the backseat with you in his arms. For a moment Joel thought about driving off, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get far. Not with the way his hands shook, his heart pounding in his chest as he held you tighter. That was close, way too close. Your lifeless body, the way your ribs cracked from the pressure of his hands, it was all too much for him. 

The second that the door was shut behind him, Joel ripped his coat off and covered you in the bulky material as best as he could. The bruises, cuts, and burns that covered your body were a lot to take in. You had stumbled from the burning chapel in nothing but a sweatshirt and underwear. Finger shaped bruises covered your body, making a pit form in his stomach. Multiple alphas had tried to hurt you in the days since he had seen you last. He wanted to kill them all but, it seemed you had already beaten him to it. 

Looking at the marks on your thighs, dread descended over him. Joel felt absolutely helpless. He had no idea where he was, where any medical supplies were, what had happened in the chapel, or when you’d wake. Powerless to the situation, Joel rambled incoherent apologies and desperate pleas as he brushed soot from your body. 

“Oh darling, I’m so sorry. I - fuck - I should’ve been better. Should’ve protected you, been there for you. Oh my god, fuck, this is my fault. I love you. Please, please, please,” he cried. 

He didn’t even know what he was asking you for. Was it forgiveness? Joel kicked himself for letting this happen. The thought of it made him want to rip off his own skin and maybe he would’ve, had he not heard the softest whisper of his name. 

Joel snapped his gaze back up to your face and gasped. Your eyes were red rimmed and glossy, but they were open. It was one of the most beautiful things that he had ever seen. 

“Oh baby,” he cried out as he pulled you up in his lap. 

You went willingly, completely pliant as he arranged you in his lap. Joel heard you hiss as he pressed you into a tight hug and he pulled back quickly. A pinched brow from the sting of his embrace formed a lump in his throat. Settling on holding your face in his hands, Joel watched as you slowly blinked your eyes open again. 

“Ow,” you croaked. 

The noise that came from his mouth was half a laugh and half a sob of relief but he smiled through it. His throat was thick as he pushed errant hairs away, kissing every inch of your face as he fought against the emotions that overwhelmed him. There were no words for what he felt in that moment and even if there were, you were in no shape to hear them. 

The corners of your mouth quirked up when Joel finally landed a kiss on your lips and he did it again. Despite the blood and dirt that covered every inch of the both of you, the sight of your soft smile soothed every ache in his body. He knew that his headache was still there. The bruise on the back of his head was tender to the touch but at that moment, he didn’t feel it one bit. 

Your eyes were open. 

You were alive. 

Nothing else mattered. 

“M’tired,” you murmured and coughed, wincing at the effort before your eyelids drooped again. 

Joel tightened his jaw as your face burrowed itself in his neck, huffing at him until you relaxed. He could tell that you were in a great deal of pain, his instincts sensing every bit of tension in your body. He needed to fix this, to care for you. 

The problem was that Joel had no idea where he was, or where to get medical supplies in the half destroyed ghost town. Even if he could focus his mind enough to drive to the next town, there was no telling what he would find there. 

He thought about going back to where he had left the group but he quickly discarded the idea. Your friends and family were nearly an hour away, IF they were still there, and likely didn’t have much more medical experience than him. 

The cabin was too far and didn’t have half the shit you would need. And Jackson, with the time it would take for Joel to drive his injured mate there, was out of the question. That left only one option for him. 

“Baby, baby wake up,” he called. 

Joel spoke with the softest urgency he could muster, jostling you gently until you roused. Another groan accompanied the glare you flashed at him. In a different situation, he might’ve laughed at it. The exasperation on your face was painfully obvious. He didn't need to ask to know what you thought about him waking you. Are you fucking serious , was written all over your face. 

“I know, I know honey, m’real sorry. I’ll let you sleep but first, you need to tell me where the camp kept their medical stuff. Pills, bandages, water, fuck - anything,” Joel urged.

You hummed, sighing as you scrunched your face up in thought. He knew it was a lot. Asking you questions about a camp you hadn’t lived in for sometime was ridiculous. Especially after he had literally just brought you back from the dead, but he didn’t have the time to tear through half of the homes to find what he needed. There was so much blood covering you and Joel was nervous to find out how much of it was yours. If it was all you, he needed to find the wound and stitch it up fast. 

“Home, probably,” you guessed, “He kept it all at our house so nobody could get into it. If the stuff hasn’t been snatched up by raiders, it’d be there.” 

Joel nodded desperately, “And where’s that baby?”

You whined at his incessant line of questioning and he hushed you, smoothing his thumbs over your cheekbones until you settled. 

 “Shhh, I know you want to sleep but you need to tell me darling. Where’s home? What does it look like?” 

“Green house with yellow shutters. Fucking awful colors, worse than our kitchen,” you murmured. 

The comparison made him huff a laugh as you slumped against him again. As your body stilled once more, Joel couldn’t help himself. Despite the fact that you had just spoken to him, he subtly brushed two fingers up your spine until they landed on your neck. Careful not to aggravate the bruising, Joel pressed his fingers into the side of your neck so that he could feel the steady beats there. She’s just asleep , he told himself over and over again as he readied himself to leave. 

A green house with yellow shutters, he could work with that. Joel had been in too much of a rush to save you when he sped through town, but he was confident that he could find the ugly house. He needed to, so he would. The fear of what might happen if he didn’t spurred him into action. 

As carefully as he could, Joel slid out of the backseat with you still in his grasp. He could have left you laid out in the back. It probably would have been less cramped in the driver’s seat, but he refused to let you go. With what had just happened, he wasn’t sure he would be able to ever let you go again. As he slid behind the wheel, Joel decided that he was perfectly okay with carrying you around in his arms until the day he died.  

After spending an extra few seconds situating you so that you were comfortably cradled in his arms, he pulled out and drove through the quiet streets. Keeping one hand on your chest to feel the rise and fall of it, he kept his ears focused on your soft breaths. The sound of your breathing was the only thing keeping him sane. 

Joel wanted to tear someone’s face off. He wanted to rain hellfire down on any surviving alpha he could find but that wasn’t what you needed. You needed caring Joel, not the Joel that had single handedly destroyed the fireflies. He swallowed all of the things that threatened to cloud his judgment; the desire to pull away, the fury he had for Paul and the other alphas, the guilt he felt for your injured state, all of it was inconsequential.  

He pushed his own feelings away as he swerved around the corner, skidding a few inches before he managed to right the wheel. Letting out a cuss as he pumped the brakes, he held you close as the car drifted toward the poorly cleared driveway to your former home. 

You were right, the paint was awful. It was chipped in many places, yet still somehow managed to be much too bright against the snow covered landscape. Aside from the paint, the roof itself was rotted in multiple places. There was simply no way that it sufficed during the rainier months and he grimaced at the black mold he knew likely lined the inside of the walls. 

The front door flapped in the wind, making him uneasy as he gently tried to unwrap the limbs that were welded around him. He didn’t want to leave you here, but the potential dangers that could lurk inside left him with no choice. There was no way he was putting you in the line of fire again. 

Joel sighed and doubled down on his efforts but it was no use, you were like an octopus. Everytime he managed to pry off one limb, another wrapped around him and pulled him even closer. You kept your eyes closed but he knew that you were awake. With no other option, Joel pulled your head from its place in the crook of his neck. The whine you let out was pained, only deepening the guilt he felt for leaving as he hushed your cries. 

“I need to go check inside before I bring you in, baby. I’ll be right back, I swear,” he cooed. 

He cupped your cheeks, stroking them until the line between your eyebrows disappeared. 

“No,” you answered with a scratchy voice. 

“But I need t-”

A soft pinch was all you gave him in response. With all the strength in your body depleted, it was nothing more than a tug on his side but he got the hint nonetheless. Joel sighed louder at your stubbornness but relented. Although your safety was his top priority, the thought of leaving you for a second was just as painful for him. 

He bit his tongue as he lifted you from the car and trudged towards the entrance. Despite his efforts to shield your body from the wintry breeze with his jacket, goosebumps climbed up your legs and you shivered violently. Hastening his pace, Joel reached the front door and rushed inside. Frenzied from the prospect of cold seeping into your body, he knocked the door closed with his hip. The bang echoed throughout the house and he froze. 

Joel held you closer as he held his breath, straining to hear for any indication of life. He clenched his jaw painfully tight, trying to calm himself as he imagined a horde infected sprinting from a hiding place somewhere within the home. When nothing came, he could have collapsed with the relief he felt. 

With the threat gone, Joel worked quickly. Methodically sweeping through the quaint home, he raided the bathroom and storage closets for any supplies he could use. After finding the stash of supplies in the closet nearest to the master bedroom, Joel moved towards the door before he paused. 

The scents of its original occupants were mostly gone, dimmed with the time that had passed, but notes of your mother and stepfather’s unhappy union remained. He shook his head, turning on his heel to find a more comforting place for you to rest. After pulling open an office and yet another room filled with camp supplies, he finally stumbled upon your old room. 

Even if the walls hadn’t been soaked in the delicious aroma that was solely you, he could have guessed it was yours based on the decor alone. The walls were painted a bland beige but Joel noticed that you had gotten around this by covering them with pictures cut from old magazines, dried flowers, and colorful thread murals. Aside from that, there was a pile of clothes still unfolded on an armchair and pages of notes covering nearly every open surface. 

As Joel carried you towards the unmade twin bed, he prepared himself for another round against his octopus of a mate but you relaxed against the sheets. Perhaps it was the exhaustion that finally eased your half conscious mind or perhaps it was the familiarity of your old home but either way, he could finally untangle himself. Soft as ever, he pressed a kiss onto your forehead and pulled the sheets up to your chin before he tiptoed out of the room. 

Joel backtracked towards the medical supplies and tore through the boxes for everything he would need. He was impressed at the stash, yet slightly uncomfortable at the knowledge that these supplies had likely been kept from those that needed it by religious zealots. The upside was that he didn’t have to go far to find exactly what he was looking for. 

Armed with the supplies, he hurried back to your room. You were laid in the same position he had left you, yet he didn’t miss the way your body sunk deeper into the mattress at his return. Joel knelt by the bed, murmuring sweet words as he pulled the blanket back. 

The coat was open, revealing your beaten body to his eyes completely. Carefully, he peeled the sweater from your abdomen and it was hard for him not to scream at the bruises that stuck out against your ribs. Despite the damage to your ribs, he was relieved to find there was no broken skin anywhere. 

The fingerprints embedded into your thighs and throat threatened to break him but were also not in need of stitching. Given the dark bruising around your eyes and the swelling along the bridge of your nose, there was no doubt in Joel’s mind that your nose had been broken. He ghosted a finger along the swollen bump, pulling it back when your face twitched at the soft pressure. 

Joel shook his head and grabbed a cloth. After soaking the white fabric with the water, he carefully wiped the blood and grime from your body. The more that was revealed, the worst he felt. The darkened patches of bruised skin made his chest burn. You twitched when he dabbed carefully at your neck and he eased up, staying as gentle as possible while the filth was cleared from the top half of your body. 

Steeling himself, Joel moved down to your legs. He sucked in a deep breath as he moved upwards, stomach clenched as he wiped the soot off of your thighs. Despite the bruising along your hips and thighs, he was relieved to find that the damage did not reach your most vulnerable areas. The relief was bittersweet, as it was clear that although they were unsuccessful, someone had clearly tried to harm you in that way. 

Fucking Paul. 

Joel pushed the disgusting man from his thoughts. He needed to focus on you. After delicately pulling the coat from your body, he was surprised to find a bone glaring at him from your wrist. Given the reddened skin, Joel knew it had been dislocated for days. The skin around the bone was taut and his stomach roiled at the pain it had undoubtedly caused you. How the hell were you doing anything with an injury like this? 

Sighing, Joel scratched at his beard as he tried to make a game plan. He knew that the joint needed to be put back in place as soon as possible, lest the entire wrist remain damaged for the rest of your life. However, the pain that the process would involve tore at his heart strings. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to cause you any more pain. But, there was no other option. 

With shaking hands, Joel dug through the pile of goods and pulled out the morphine. He stared at the syringe for a moment, debating again before he ripped open the package and stuck the needle into the vial. The needle sucked up the clear liquid, filling the barrel slowly but surely until a small squirt of it spurted from the tip. Joel tested the plunger and he sighed when it worked. He knew that he couldn’t hold it off any longer.

“This is gonna help honey, just relax,” Joel mumbled, mostly to himself as you were fast asleep. 

You gave no sign of discomfort as the needle slid into muscle. The plunger was pressed down, administering what Joel hoped would numb the process. He waited a few minutes, letting it fully take hold of your nervous system as he continued to remove bits of debris and grime from your limbs. He knew you were ready when your head lolled to the side, with all of the aches in your body soothed by the morphine. 

With the drug clouding your senses, Joel grasped your wrist with both hands. He breathed in deeply, calming his own nerves before he expertly snapped the joint back into place. A sick crack tensed his jaw as your wrist regained its shape and he waited patiently for your response. Aside from a slight shiver, you remained oblivious. 

“That’s it baby, so brave,” Joel whispered as he wrapped the area in a makeshift splint. 

Leaning forward to kiss your face, he murmured sweet words as he pulled the sheets up around you. He stayed in his place at your bedside, kneeled against the wooden floor as you slept peacefully beside him. 

Suddenly, exhaustion pulled at Joel and he laid his head next to yours on the pillow. From this close, he felt every puff of air that left your mouth. Your even breathing was like the ocean, slowly pulling him into a meditative state. There was no possibility of him sleeping, not with a deep seated panic still lurking somewhere in his brain, but he let the obvious signs of life lull him into a false sense of security. You were right in front of him. 

After days of being without you, he had started to think that the morning he was taken would be his last time ever seeing you. With you laid in front of him alive, there was no way Joel was taking his eyes off of you for a second. 

Instead, Joel slid one of his hands into yours and focused on counting your eyelashes as you drifted in a sea of opium. He knew that there were so many things to do. There were antibiotics to be given. There was food likely stashed somewhere in this house that he needed to find for you. There were plans to be made regarding where the two of you would go. All of that needed to be addressed as soon as possible, yet Joel couldn’t bring himself to stand. 

As the day turned to night, moonlight blanketing the room and dulling the hues of purple along your face, Joel remained at your bedside. His eyes were still fixed on you well into the early hours of the morning, continuing to trace over every mark until he was satisfied that you weren’t going to stop breathing. 

- You -

Dreams bled into one another as you slumbered. They were warm, like the smell that carried you through each encounter along the way. The scent was familiar and you chased after it in your disjointed mind but it was always just out of reach. Plus, the scenery kept switching too fast. 

First, you were lying against the soft ground near the lake at home. It was summertime and when you looked over, you noticed Miriam. It took you a moment to hear what she was saying but you realized that she was trying to teach you the melody of some forgotten song. You wanted to listen, it was nearly impossible to pay attention to her with the spiciness of Joel wafting through the air. His scent was everywhere, but he was nowhere to be found. 

“Hey - Did you hear what I said or are we daydreaming today?,” Miriam jested. 

Your head whipped towards her, “Uh yeah, no, for sure, I just… Do you - Do you smell that? Is that - Is Joel here?” 

Miriam laughed but it was off. 

“No, he’s not. Joel won’t be here for some time, surprisingly,” she chuckled. 

Confusion struck you and you moved to get up, only for your wrist to pang as you tried to push up off of the ground. The day shifted, a soft breeze making you shiver as you tried to understand what was happening. When you looked back, Miriam was still smiling and before you could ask her, she was gone. 

The wine that was poured into your mouth was bitter and you choked as it slid down your throat. The communion had always tasted tart but this was way off. It was like the sacred drink had been replaced with a mix of medicine. The bitter sweetness glued your tongue to the roof of your mouth. 

As the cup was ripped away, you were met with the scathing glare of your former stepfather. You wiped the wine from the corners of your mouth and Josiah rolled his eyes. He looked just as he had the last time you saw him, with half of his face hanging off from the clicker that killed him. Blood oozed from the slashes in his face, dripping directly into the glass in his hands and you gagged. 

“What did I tell you? If you would have stayed with the man I chose, maybe none of this would have happened,” Josiah sighed. 

You blinked at his words, unsure of what to say.

“Paul was a fine young man but no, no you have to go and cause all of that trouble. And for what? For love? HA!”

Josiah cackled and you watched as it creased every inch of his face. A fear struck you. If Joel was here but you couldn’t see him, perhaps your stepfather had done something. You wanted to tackle him but it felt like you were chained. As you struggled against an invisible hold, Josiah lifted the cup back up to your lips. 

“Where the fuck is he?,” you hissed into the glass. 

The dangerous tone you used only made Josiah laugh. He shook his head and placed the wine glass down before he turned towards the rest of the congregation. Looking back, a sea of semi-familiar people lined the benches but their faces were blurred. If you squinted, you could guess who some of the former camp members were but most of them remained nameless. 

Without giving you another look, Josiah began his sermon. As he preached to them, his words got more warped until you felt the ground shift beneath you. The sanctuary shook and you desperately tried to get anyone’s attention but your voice was gone. Bracing yourself for the worst, you squeezed your eyes shut as the world collapsed in on itself. 

Instead of the death you had expected, when your eyes opened once more you were sitting in between your parents on the porch swing back home. The two of them had their bodies pressed into you and a children’s book was placed in your lap. You couldn’t see either of their faces as they read aloud from the page but you could hear them. They were both giving awful renditions of the characters, using silly voices until they broke into peals of laughter. 

It was only when the breeze had brushed against your face that you smelled him again. Sandalwood and bergamot tickled your nostrils, pulling you from the memory. The scent shifted your dream and suddenly, you were a fully grown woman squashed between two other adults. 

“Mom, Papa, did you see him? Is Joel here? Where is he?,” you questioned, voice desperate as the panic rose up from your chest. 

Your mother’s face was blurred when you looked at her, just as the congregants had been. The sight of her warped features was just as terrifying as seeing her in person and you jumped back in your seat, only to be met with the solid expanse of your father. Scared at what you might find, you refused to look at him at first but fingers soon grasped your face and whipped your head around. Facing him finally, you were relieved to find that his face remained unscathed. In fact, he grinned easily at you. 

“So grown up now bubs, I hardly recognized you,” he chuckled. 

Moisture gathered along your lash line, threatening to spill over as you smiled back. A silent moment passed as you both examined one another. It had been so long since you had seen him in a dream, years probably, yet somehow you remembered every detail. 

The wind kicked up again and you looked away, scanning the neighborhood for any sign of the cranky man you loved so much. Bits of the street were clear, like the sidewalk you used to play hopscotch on and the doghouse that held the sweet pitbull next door, but the majority of it had been blurred with time. 

You wanted to get up and look for the source of the smell in the house but you had the feeling like moving wasn’t an option. It made you uneasy, to be so close to Joel without the ability to actually see him. 

As if sensing the growing fear, your father grabbed your face. He pressed his palms into your cheeks and breathed in deeply, only letting go once you did the same. You smiled at the gesture, not realizing you even remembered him doing it until you released the breath. It was just like he used to do when he was alive. 

He sighed, “My beautiful girl, it’s been so nice to see you. But he’s waiting for you, bubs. It’s time to wake up now.” 

“What?,” you asked in confusion. 

He leaned forward, brushing his lips over your forehead before he pulled back again. Your father’s eyes twinkled with a familiar mirth as he grinned at you. 

“Alright, now get out of here. I don’t want to see you again for at least another fifty years, do you understand me?,” he jokingly commanded. 

Despite your hesitation, you nodded at his request. Your father smiled widely and pressed his forehead against yours as the world shifted again. Your vision was blurred once more, making you feel slightly nauseous as you tried to hold to the man in front of you. He said something but it was muffled as you were ripped from his embrace. 

-

Opening your eyes was harder than you thought it would be. It felt like the lids had been weighed down with bricks. Nevertheless, you could hear everything around you. There was snow persistently pelting against the window and howling wind made the structure groan before it settled again. However, it was the sound of someone speaking softly in the quiet of the space that lifted the fog from your mind. 

“… Tommy was so mad. His hair was always HIS THING back in the day. Fuck, it still is. Took him ‘bout a week to figure out that it was me that put Nair in his shampoo bottle.” 

The laugh he ended the story with was forced, making your heart pang as you slowly regained feeling in your limbs. The heat of his body was close but he wasn’t holding you like he normally would. It was annoying but you were too weak to voice any complaint. 

As more and more of your senses came back, so did the pain. Joel’s hand coasted over your back, as if he sensed the deep ache that had settled there. Despite the stiffness there, you were forced to hold in a sob at the feeling of his rough hand on your body. It had only been a few days, but it felt like a lifetime. You hoped desperately that it wasn’t a dream. 

No, you thought, it couldn’t be. Not when your throat was on fire. You tried to swallow but the muscles in your airway were tight. To make matters worse, the act of trying to suck in deep breaths not only aggravated your trachea but also the battered skin stretched across your ribcage. Each breath in and out was torture. 

At least with the swollen airway and crushed ribs, you could barely feel the ball of fire that encapsulated your wrist. The fact that it laid still against the sheets made no difference, pain still skittered up your arm and wrapped around your right shoulder. As the agony wrenched you from sleep, you focused on the sound of your mate’s syrupy drawl. 

“... I can’t think of what else to tell ya honey, m’real sorry. I don’t even know if me talking is doing anything but I just…”

Joel took a deep breath, his hand leaving your body to push his fingers through his undoubtedly unruly curls. The two of you were so attuned to one another that there was no need to open your eyes to know what he was doing. If you could’ve, you would have smiled at his exasperation. Contrary to Joel’s own worries about you not being able to handle his moods, the grumpiness was one of the things that made you love him in the first place. 

He sniffed and your heart dropped. 

“I don’t know if I was - fuck - if I was too late, just… Please darling. Please just open your eyes. I’m…,” Joel grunted, pausing to gather himself before he whispered, “I’m scared baby, okay? Please.”

The fear in his voice was evident, his usually even tone getting progressively shakier before it dropped off entirely at the end. With your stomach clenched at his distress, the need to soothe Joel breathed life back into your heavy limbs. The pain was brutal, but it was worth it to ease the mind of someone who had been haunted by loss for years. With sleep gluing your eyes shut, it took three tries before you managed to pry them open. 

The world was bright, so bright that it burned your retinas. The sun poured in from the windows, making your head pound as the light flooded every inch of the space. Sun spots danced in your eyes and you blinked them away, sighing as the room unfolded itself to you. 

A quiet gasp came from your mouth. The bedroom that had aided in your isolation during the most formative years, in the home you hoped never to return to, was where you found yourself. Echoes of thinly veiled threats and constant disparagement rang in your ears as your eyes wheeled around the small room. A shiver racked your body as phantom fingers pinched at the softer parts of your body and gripped at your throat. 

From the rickety bed, you saw that all of the decorations were still hung on the walls and the laundry was still stuffed in a forgotten chair. It was just as you had left it. For some reason, that made you hate being in it even more. It was like you had never left. Like finding your person, finding Joel Miller, had actually been the delusional daydream of the sad little girl that once lived in this house, but you knew that wasn’t true. Joel was yours, that part you were biologically incapable of forgetting, but you couldn’t remember why he had been absent for some time. 

The past few days were a blur. All the blood, the fighting, the adrenaline, the fear, had numbed you to reality. If you kept fighting, there was no time to think about what you were doing. The only thing you were focused on was getting Joel back, no matter the price. He was the only person you absolutely couldn’t lose. The thought of his death was too much. After struggling for years, there was no way you were going to live in a world without him. 

It was only when his teary face clouded your view that you were forced to remember. 

The cabin, Joel being taken, the blood you had spilt, Allie and Cooper, and finally, the encounter with Paul. All of it came rushing back as Joel held your face in his hands. You could barely focus on the words, still too groggy and weighed down with chilling memories to fully listen as he rambled about how worried he was. 

Joel gently caressed your face, looking down at you with so much love as he continued to speak earnestly. It was so sweet that you wanted to try for him, but the aching in your throat reminded you of how Paul’s fingers had dug into the skin. His rapid words were becoming more and more overstimulating as nausea crept up from your gut. 

“... and I knew you needed rest but shit, you’ve been out for days. I didn’t know what to do and I-I’m not a doctor and I-”

Shakily, you reached up and pressed your hand against his mouth. Joel’s eyes widened, looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar before a deeper look of understanding spread out on his face. He nodded, lifting your hand to press a kiss to the bruised knuckles before he placed it back on the bed. 

He reached out, his hands swallowing your left hand in a firm grasp as his big brown eyes looked down at you hopefully. A silence fell in the room but you were okay with it, taking a moment to take in the beast of a man that you had missed so badly. At first, all you noticed was his usual features. The strong nose with the scar across the bridge of it, the plush lips, the scruff on his cheeks, the bald spot on his beard that you loved to kiss, they were exactly where you had left them. However, after a few seconds reality seeped in. 

Joel’s eyes were bloodshot and glossy as they analyzed every emotion on your face. His face was puffy, bruised in so many places that they seemed to run together. Some darkened his skin with a deep purple, while others had already started to fade into a light green. 

“How-,” you stopped to clear your swollen throat, “How long have I been asleep?” 

He sniffed again, hastily wiping at his puffy eyes before he said, “Four days.” 

Four days? At first, your mind rebelled against the idea. There was no way you could’ve been asleep for that long. However, with the stiffness in your limbs and the fog over your thoughts, four days seemed likely. Your mouth was parched, lips cracked as you smacked them together unceremoniously. That flipped a switch in Joel and you started as he jumped up suddenly. He mumbled something about water, giving you a soft kiss before he jogged out of the room. 

His heavy footfalls receded down the hall and you sighed. With Joel out of the room, the walls felt like they were closing in. The thought of being in this place had been bad enough, but with him gone it felt like a nightmare. Any bravery that had strengthened your resolve during the past few days was long gone, leaving you powerless as you awaited his return. 

You waited a few seconds until he had turned into one of the rooms and was out of earshot. The last thing you wanted was to be in this room alone. With nervousness twisting your stomach,  you mustered the strength to pull yourself up. 

Black spots dotted your eyes as you heaved yourself up. Pain erupted from your neck, shooting bolts of electricity down your spine and you hissed. Clenching your jaw, you pushed against the mattress with your right hand. More lightning bolts erupted from your shattered wrist, making you let out a groan. The splint on your wrist did little to help with the pressure as you pulled yourself up against the headboard. 

Despite the brief triumph of sitting up in bed, bile rose from the depths of your stomach and threatened to spew from your mouth. The thirst didn’t matter anymore, not with the way every muscle in your body screamed in agony. The corners of your vision were darkened and you focused hard on breathing. The room had just begun to stop spinning when Joel walked back in. 

“Okay, so I’ve got - Shit! What the hell are ya doing?!,” he exclaimed. 

You smiled weakly, knowing that this wasn’t a good look. A sickly sheen of sweat glimmered in the sun, illuminating the injuries that covered your body. Joel grimaced and marched forward, reaching to lay you back down the moment he got to the bed. 

“What? No! I’m fine Joel, cut it out,” you grumbled, swatting at his insistent hands as he tried to pull you down by the legs. 

He stopped, eyes ablaze as he sucked his teeth in annoyance. Crossing his arms over his chest, you tried not to laugh at how bitchy he looked with his knee cocked out and his eyebrow raised. Laughing at him when he was this angry would only make him more upset. Regardless of the fact that you found it amusing, you didn’t want to put him in any more distress. Slowly, you reached out for him. The weakness in your limbs still lingered, making you drop it back down to the sheets in an instant. 

“Joel,” you sighed, “I’ve been asleep for days, I need to sit up.” 

Joel looked at you for a while, mouth twisted to the side before he finally sighed and nodded. You smiled, noticing how the corner of his mouth twitched at the sight of it. He took the hand you had reached out to him, kissing the back of it as he sat down on the bed. The both of you let out quiet groans, the movement aggravating every ache that burned through your bodies.  His eyes snapped up to yours and he frowned, looking heartbroken as he passed you a glass of water.

The cup was heavier than you expected and you fumbled it immediately. You tried to lift it up to reach your lips but the hefty drop of water that landed on the bed was the last straw for the alpha. Joel swiftly snatched the glass from your shaky hands, glaring at you when you tried to protest his coddling. 

Gently, Joel tipped the glass into your mouth. Tepid water slid down your throat, soothing a bit of the scratchiness that burned so badly. Swallowing was still a harrowing task, but the drink still alleviated some of the pain. You drank a few more times, nodding to him once you were finished. 

Joel placed the glass on the bedside table before grabbing your hand once more. Thumb brushing over the skin, his eyes were full of sadness and longing. He looked like a ghost of himself, with the light in his eyes faded from looking at the state of you. A lump formed in your throat and you fought hard to swallow any tears that threatened to wet your lash line. 

You squeezed his hand, “Baby, I’m fine.” 

He looked away, shaking his head aggressively as he mumbled something to himself. Joel caught your eye once more and underneath all the injuries, you saw a man who was terrified. The corners of his nose were reddened and raw from days filled with tears. You frowned at that, chest tightening at the knowledge that Joel had been crying over you. 

“Thing is darling, you weren’t fine. I should’ve…” he paused and swallowed hard, “When you came out, you were bleeding and wheezing. And I was so happy and then you just stopped breathing.” 

You barely remembered that. All you could remember was hearing Joel call your name through the fog of the pain and smoke. Guilt seeped in from the corners of your mind, making you gasp as you remembered the willingness you had to follow him into the dark. Believing that he was already dead, you had decided to give up, and now Joel was hurt because of it. 

“Joel I-,” you stopped, unsure of what to say to him. 

What was there to say? Sacrificing yourself to save him had come naturally. It was as easy as breathing when the other option was a life without him. Of course if he died, you would let yourself go on the chapel steps. What did he expect? But you couldn’t say that, not to him, not ever. He wouldn’t have it. 

Joel closed his eyes and breathed in from his nose. The anguish he felt pinched all the lines in his forehead together and it pulled a sympathetic noise from you. His eyes snapped open at the sound of your whine, flashing with anger once more as he mashed his teeth together. 

“They took me and you just… went after me? They told me you were killing most of their guards, is that true?” he asked cooly. 

There was no point in lying, you knew Joel would see through it. 

You nodded solemnly, “They took you from me. What would you have done?” 

That shocked him. So much so that he dropped your hand on the bed and raked his fingers through his unkempt curls. The tension in the air grew as Joel tried to find a way to argue against your point. His jaw clicked from the pressure of his teeth grinding but he ignored, too focused on finding a solid argument against your point. The thought of bickering with him was so mundane that it almost made you smile but you held back in light of the circumstance. Instead, you decided to keep going. 

“Alpha, look at me,” you whined. 

It took a second for him to heed your request. Joel fought against his own instincts, looking away for as long as possible before the alpha in him took over. When his gaze finally landed on yours, Joel’s eyes softened and you weakly made grabby hands at him. 

Joel sighed at your request, his anger melting away as he scooted into your space. The lines in his face smoothed out, making him look years younger despite the growing patches of gray in his beard and curls. As always, his body was warm and you hummed at the proximity. A wave of calm rushed over you, his presence making you more level headed instantly. 

“Listen, we’re mates and they took you. I didn’t… Well, if I’m being honest, I didn’t know I had that in me but I’m not sorry. Those guys fucking sucked and they took the love of my life from me, okay? There’s no regrets,” you explained. 

He winced at your words and you tried not to feel embarrassed. It was what he would have done, so why was this any different? 

“What about putting yourself in real danger by getting that close to him? What about telling Cooper not to tell me where you ran off to? It’s like you were trying to die or something,” he spat. 

The tone of his voice made you wince. It was true, you had told Cooper that, but the problem had been yours to finish. Paul coming after everyone was your mess, meaning that it was your job to clean it up. 

The pelting of the snow against the window picked up and you dropped the smile from your face. Suddenly, the sound of a fire crackling and the smell of smoke pulled you from the conversation. Blinking once, then twice, you gulped audibly as you tried to forget the feeling of hands wrapped around your throat. 

“I-I, uh-” 

Joel continued, getting more worked up as he went on, “It’s supposed to be me and you, ain’t it? Me and you, nobody else. Sacrificing yourself is not a part of the deal sweetheart, that’s betrayal.” 

You blinked, throat tightening for a whole other reason. His words stung but you understood his anger. If Joel had done what you did, you would have been pissed. However, the way he looked at you was too much. It was never your intention to hurt him. 

“I c-couldn’t have you dying for me, or anyone else. It’s just - oh fuck - Joel, it didn’t matter what he did to me. I just couldn’t let him hurt any of the people I love, can’t you see that?” you cried out. 

“HURT PEOPLE YOU LOVE?!,” Joel exploded, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HURT ME?! IF YOU DIED! THAT WOULD FUCKING KILL ME! DON’T YOU FUCKING GET THAT?!”

A soft whimper was all you gave in response as tears poured down your face. You were tired, so tired of everything and he was being so mean. Sobs racked your body. The bruises on your ribs protested, aching with each breath, but you couldn’t stop. Not with Joel sat there in silence, biting his lip as he watched you break apart in front of him. That stung. You wanted him to hold you in arms, to kiss your face and rub your hip with his thumb like he usually did, but he was completely still. 

“Joel, please,” you whispered pitifully. 

He sighed and rubbed his face. Although Joel was inches away, it felt like miles as you waited for him to touch you. Looking down at the state of your body, you suddenly felt a wave of self consciousness. He had changed you into one of your old shirts, the formerly baggy material now taut against your chest and hips, but the rest of your bruises were clear in the light of day. More tears dripped down your face, splattering against the soft cotton as you chewed on the inside of your mouth in contemplation. 

“He didn’t… I mean, he tried, but um… It’s still only you, if that’s what you are uh, worried about,” you mumbled as more tears fell onto the comforter. 

You closed your eyes, not wanting to see if he looked at you differently with the admission. Alphas were territorial, you knew that, so you guessed it was that he was worried about. With your eyes still shut, you heard Joel move to get up from the bed. The sound of him leaving the bedside made your heart fall to the floor and shatter. The air in the room was suddenly stifling, making you breathe in sharply as the holes that had formed over the years in your heart widened. You wanted to sink into the earth, to let the cold dirt cover you until it silenced every thought or feeling. 

As you spiraled further into misery, you were surprised to feel Joel move onto the bed behind you. His strong arms pulled you down onto your side, careful to rearrange you so that his face was inches from yours on the pillow. Despite the tears, his blurred face didn’t look angry, just sad. Joel stroked the side of your head thoughtfully before he leaned forward to kiss your forehead. With him seemingly not upset, you tried again. 

“Please, I’m sorry. I just… I love you. I couldn’t let you die and he was going to kill not just you, but others. I didn’t want to go with him, I just-”

Joel cut you off, pressing his chapped lips to yours softly. You stopped, shocked at the contact at first but quickly melting into him. He allowed it to go on for a few seconds, softly pouring his love and devotion into the kiss before he pulled back. As his lips left yours, your dampened eyes fluttered open to see that his had softened. 

“S’okay baby, don’t cry. M’not mad at ya for going with him. Well… Maybe I am a little but it’s not cus of that. You’re lucky you got out but if ya hadn’t, you know that wouldn’t have been your fault right? I woulda been madder than hell, but not at you. Never at you, darling. ”

You sniffed and nodded, scooching closer to him in search of reassurance. He welcomed your proximity, lifting one of his hands to scratch softly at the tangled strands on your head. It spooked you at first, the feeling of someone being so soft with you after days of all out war, but Joel whispered sweet words until you finally relaxed. As if on cue, his scent started to grow stronger to soothe the omega in need and it numbed the edges of the despair. 

Joel nodded back and sighed, squeezing you closer as he mumbled, “I love you, okay? That ain’t ever gonna stop but I just… You can’t sacrifice yourself like that again, okay? Ever. I don’t care whose life is on the line, you ain’t allowed. This - I can’t - fuck… You can’t just do that.” 

“I’m not allowed?,” you rolled your eyes, “Really?” 

He cocked an eyebrow as you laughed at his request. You were about to roast his attempt at direction, but karma got to you first. Instead, the laugh made your throat burn so badly that Joel had to reach over for the glass of water. After a few sips, the coughing stopped and he set it back down. With the hacking at bay, the room grew silent. 

“I wasn’t kidding,” he said quietly. 

“I know,” you answered back softly. 

Joel’s gaze was soft but there was a hint of desperation to it as he brushed his fingers over every inch of your body. It felt good, having him soften for you again. It was like seeing the skies open up with a downpour during a fierce drought. You tried to think of a compromise, anything to get him to back off but you knew he wouldn’t buy it. Joel needed you to say that you would let him die, if it came to it. 

As the relationship between Joel and you had changed back in the cabin, you decided never to lie to him. There was no point, not when the man spent every waking second trying to make you happy and only ever wanted to be around you. Plus, he was a good listener, despite the fact that he forgot people’s names sometimes. However, the broken look on his face persuaded you to break the no lying streak. There was no way you were ever going to let him die for you, but he didn’t need to know that. 

“Fine, no sacrificing. Scouts honor,” you agreed. 

“You were in the scouts?” he scoffed, smiling wryly at the notion. 

“In all honesty, I don’t know what the scouts are. It’s just something I’ve heard people say in books and movies. Is it something from one of those shows you’re talking about? Is that the MASH thing you’re always talking about?,” you guessed. 

It was Joel’s turn to laugh this time and it was beautiful. You didn’t even mind the way it jostled the bed, making a few of your injuries smart with the movement. He looked years younger when he laughed and you smiled at him as boisterous laughter turned to muted chuckles. Carefully, you reached over and rubbed over the mark on his neck with your thumb. 

He sighed at the feeling, “Fuck, I’m old.”

“Distinguished,” you giggled. 

Joel snorted and kissed the palm of your hand. He moved closer towards you, resting his forehead against yours as he sighed. The feeling of him being so close was intoxicating. You basked in his scent, allowing it to draw you into an almost meditative state as you looked into each other’s eyes. 

“M’not strong enough to go on without you darling. That’s not… I can’t do that again, alright? I can’t lose someone that I love again. Please, just… You can’t do that to me,” he whispered against your lips. 

You felt every syllable, both from his soft lifts brushing against yours and in the burn that settled in your chest. Joel had been through so much, all he wanted from you was to stay alive. Of course you would try, but you needed him to live too. 

“I understand Joel. Just… You can’t do it to me either, alright? I know that you’re gonna say that you’ve lived longer or something about being the alpha, but I don’t care. I couldn’t go on either baby. I wouldn’t want to,” you sighed, brushing the curls from his forehead. 

His mouth twisted up and you heard his teeth clack together from the pressure. Joel squinted at you in annoyance, a red flush forming on his cheeks as he tried to work his way out the deal. 

“Honey, I know you love me. It’s not that, I just - I’m 56 years old. I can’t just let you -”

“I’m not telling you to let me die Joel. Save me, but don’t you dare die. I don’t want you to die for me, I need you to live.”

During your time alone, you had missed life with Joel. It wasn’t just the rose he carved, or the meals he made, or the way he fucked you into the mattress, it was the mundane things. You missed the way he looked in the mornings, the way he let you hug him from behind as he cooked something on the stuff, the way he was constantly absent mindedly covering you with layers of blankets or sweaters. The life the two of you had together was short, but you needed more of it. The oasis you found in one another was a once in a lifetime thing, you felt it deep in your bones. 

“No dying for each other, just… Just living,” Joel mumbled. 

You nodded, giving him a small smile. Leaning forward, you gently kissed the side of his mouth. He sighed and pressed his nose into your neck, huffing at the skin there as you played with his hair. It hurt a little, with the area so bruised and tender, but you allowed him to scent you as he wished. Joel had clearly washed your skin the best he could as you slept, but it wasn’t enough to completely block out HIS scent. With your own alpha’s smell overtaking the sour stench that lingered before, a sense of calm filled you and opened the floodgates. 

“I don’t think I want to talk about it yet. Not all of it at least,” you whispered, scared he might ask more about the slaughter or Paul. 

He kissed the flesh below your ear, right over the indents he made with his teeth and you closed your eyes. 

“S’okay darling, whenever you’re ready.”

Joel continued kissing over the bruises delicately as you cycled through your emotions. The smile at his sweetness quickly morphed into distressed cries but he continued. Your shaky hands grasped at the back of his head as he continued his tenderness, pushing him into your skin harder until his nose was squashed. If it bothered Joel, he didn’t say anything, clearly rathering to continue brushing his lips against every inch of your neck. He circled back to your mark every now and again, almost like a reminder each time the crying got louder again. 

Grief, pain, disgust, fear, sadness, and love all brewed beneath the surface. So many conflicting emotions made your head spin as you tried to calm yourself. They were released in the quiet cries, until only the feeling of Joel’s scruffy cheeks tickling your skin remained. Although you went through the full wheelhouse of emotions, love was what you felt at him being near and your throat grew thick with it. 

“I’ve missed you so much baby,” you choked out. 

Joel pulled back, eyes shining as he pressed a longer kiss to your lips. It was still tame, the both of you too injured and traumatized for it to go anywhere, but it was passionate. You poured every ounce of love you had for him in it and in turn, he did the same. When Joel broke away, your face was flushed and he smiled at the way your lips mindlessly followed his. 

He sighed, “I’ve missed you too honey, more than you could ever know. Never stopped thinking about ya.” 

A grin split your face in two, making your cheeks burn as you snuggled into his chest. The thought of him thinking of you, in any context, immediately made you giddy. Without any prompting, Joel wrapped his arms around you and placed his chin on top of your head. Like a practiced dance, the two of you were tangled in each other in seconds. You pressed your face into the expanse of his chest, breathing in his spiciness until it was the only thing you could think of. 

While you were slowly drifting off, lulled by his presence and smell, Joel was still wide awake. You could feel him gearing up to say something, despite the fact that you were slipping back into sleep. 

“We’ve gotta get some food in ya baby, it’s been awhile since you’ve been awake. There isn’t much but some applesauce could be okay on your stomach, I don’t know if -” 

Just like you had before, you reached up and covered his mouth to cut off his rambling. Joel made an indignant noise, trying to shake you off before he settled on licking your hand. The feeling of his tongue against your palm was ticklish and you chuckled, ignoring the jolts of pain that rattled in your chest as you kept your hand in place. 

“Nice try, but you’ve literally spat in my mouth before. Pretty sure I can handle a licked hand,” you sassed, voice muffled by his chest. 

Joel shook his head at your words, his chin brushing against the crown of your head with the movement. You smiled, knowing that his face was undoubtedly twisted into his signature scowl at your wording. 

“Jesus darling, the mouth of yours is as crass as ever,” he huffed in amusement. 

The nod you answered with knocked your forehead against Joel’s chin. The force of the collision was hard and you groaned in unison, which in turn made you both chuckle. He pulled back, looking lighter than ever as he studied your face. 

“You need to eat,” Joel pressed. 

You sighed and ignored him, pressing your face against his chest to ignore him. When he tried to extradite himself from the bed, you quickly buried your fingers into his hair. A loud, almost pornographic groan left Joel’s mouth at the circles you rubbed, making him ease himself back down again. He was a sucker for scalp massages and you knew it, having been crushed by his body multiple times after rubbing his head in bed. 

Begrudgingly, Joel wrapped himself around you again and you smiled at the victory. Although he grumbled to himself, you could tell he was only half as exasperated as he let on to be. It was hard for him to act tough with your fingers working magic on the rubber band he found wrapped around his skull every day. 

“I’ll eat,” you sighed dreamily, “Just hold me some more.” 

How could he say no to that? Joel softened, pressing his nose into your hair to breathe in some of your scent as you burrowed deeper into him. The warmth of his body was intense. You had forgotten how much heat the alpha emitted and it was a relief to finally have your personal space heater back. For days, you had barely slept. When you had, it was brief and the truck didn’t hold heat long enough for it to be comfortable. Without Joel quite literally warming your bed, you weren’t sure you would ever have a good night’s sleep ever again. 

“Feel like I’ve heard that one before,” he argued but there was no bite to it. 

There couldn’t be, not when the two of you fit together so perfectly, despite everything. The bruises on both of your bodies hadn’t healed and there were definitely loads to talk about, but the feeling of Joel against you was enough for now. If he was with you, you were home. That was all you needed.  

“I love you,” you whispered. 

You waited, and almost said it again in case he hadn’t picked up on it, but all you got back from him was the start of a loud snore. Looking back up, Joel was out cold. His mouth was wide open, drool threatening to drip down the side of his face as he slumbered hard. He must’ve been awake since he found you, which would have been about four days. And who knows how well he had slept at Paul’s camp? 

The realization hit you hard as you watched him sleep. Imagining Joel awake, fearful to sleep in case something happened to you was devastating. Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his throat in thanks. His face twitched at the contact, arms drawing you even closer, but he remained asleep. With Joel’s body surrounding your own, peace washed over you. There was no confusion or fear or grieving, as it had been as of late, just complete tranquility in the silence of the afternoon. 

As the day passed, you laid there and allowed him to rest while watching the shadows change on his face. Originally, you had promised yourself that you would stay alert for the sake of your slumbering mate. Knowing Joel, he probably made some promise to himself to never rest again in an insane plan to keep you safe. It was unreasonable obviously, but completely on brand. Nevertheless, as the day passed, you felt yourself drifting away as you saw the beginnings of a reddened sunset in the golden hue of his skin. 

You called out to him quietly, bidding Joel goodnight as you slipped further into sleep with his arms still holding you. The simple act of bidding him goodnight, of pressing yourself against as he slept, forced a soft smile on your face that you knew would linger well into the night. 

Joel was here.

You were with him. 

You were home.

[healingfairy000000001]

Minnie series, witch straw hat, we can spend the night in my dealers house.

Ahh yes, Alabasta the land of sand, belly dancers clothes given to me by sanji and Vivi's country!, but most importantly lizards! tail's for distracting potions maybe a smokey corpse smell, it's eyes for and limbs for stealth ohhh~what I will do~

Ace was looking at her creeped out, she had a creepy aura around her as she looked around the ground,

"Don't mind her she get's like this sometimes" said nami patting his shoulder before continuing walking.

"she won't boil us alive, right?" he asked to conform his suspicions.

"don't worry ace, Y/N is my friend!" comforted him luffy, before they continued there march.

Y/N ignored them but focused on her hunt as chopper stayed by zoro, but vivi got dragged into helping her.

and though vivi was creeped out by decapitating lizard she couldn't bring her self to refuse helping her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the sun sat down and the wind's slowed down the night sky came with the light of the moon and a bit of cold, they found a spot to camp, sanji was cooking a warm meal, zoro was napping by the rocks, nami was comforting a crying vivi from cutting lizards tails and limbs all day, while ussop helped sanji out, Ace and chopper on the other hand were curious about Y/N need for the creature.

"What do you plan on doing with this?" asked Ace looking at her storing them in jars.

"Lot's of things! smoke screens with a heavy smell, it's limbs for a scripture to walk on walls" she explained holding different jars for each purpose chopper seemed more curios about magic looking at her jars before pointing at something

"what's that?"

"dried bat brains" she answered with a huge grin as everyone twitched a bit, except Ussop who looked scared as hell

"WHY DO YOU NEED THAT!"

"greater hearing and night vision"

silent fell before luffy broke it "can I eat it?"

"why would you want to eat it!" scolded both nami and ussop

Y/N was having a good laugh while the rest continued on their work, with vivi trying to calm down nami and chopper helping in storing everything.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As dinner was eaten and everyone was ready to sleep under the star light having a moment of tranquility cut short by Ussop, "DAMN COLD!" he stood up shouting gerly being fed up with the cold, vivi tried to re-explain "the desert is Hot as fire in the morning and cold as Ice in night"

"that doesn't make any sense!" he protested, while nami and sanji tried to deescalate the situation

"well what other choice do we have? suck it up" nami said tierdly

"we can sleep in a whale" Y/N said standing up while opening her bag, her words struck the crew as a joke but her seriousness was evident

"you do realize were like, far away from the ocean?"said Nami as the rest agreed but luffy and chopper got exited,

"YOU CAN SUMMON WHALES!"

"that's so cool!"

as she looked at them she got out a crystal ball blue in color and smooth in texture, "it's my dealer, I buy stuff I can't gather there" this seemed to gather the two interest even more, while the rest had one common thought 'what are those ingredient's?'

"Yeah I can you come here? I need a favor to ask" she spoke to the crystal as it glowed a soft light, "here we go"

a few moment's later a sudden ripple split the air, and with a thunderous splash, a starry-blue whale materialized out of thin air, casting shimmering reflections from its body.

While nami and Ussop were panicking, zoro,sanji and Ace being on guard, the rest were curious

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Gernario mardo evou" she yelled and the while opened it's mouth the woman simply walked in, "WOAH! Y/N why didn't you show us this before!" yelled luffy following in, and though the rest felt reluctant Ace zoro and chopper followed closely.

The inside of the whale was like stepping into a dream; a flat surface of shimmering water stretched beneath their feet, while tiny fireflies flitted around, casting gentle reflections on the liquid ceiling, this seemed to put everyone in awe.

"WELCOME travelers" said a man's voice from deep inside, "what might you need" he asked

"yeah, uncle goerg can me and my friends spend the night here? it's cold outside" using her best puppy dog eyes the man appeared in front of her, with a bold head and a long beard with bare feet he looked at her un-amused

this 'uncle george' was walking and smelling everyone, some pushed him away while some hid behind the other, "those are....Human's" he said the word human with disgust before going back to his customer

"how dare you bring strangers into my domain here, this ain't a hotel, shoo"

as he started to push her and the crew out with strong winds coming from inside the whale with a snap of his finger looking at the witch in displeasure, she pulled out her final card, "I'll pay!"

"no we won't!" protested nami

"I don't need your worthless berries humans"

"no! it's two jars of high quality lizard limbs collected by the princess her self!"

he raised an eyebrow, before she looked at her semi flying before giving up, "and my prized bat's brains!"

taking a moment to think, he looked at vivi and nami then at luffy before agreeing, with a snap of his fingers the wind stopped letting everyone fall to their face as a bedroom was dragged in with a hand sticking out

"You and your lizard limbs, kid. Fine. But keep your humans away from my stash, now give me the jars"

"here" she gave in reluctantly, satisfied with his prize he left them alone, "Y/N-Chwaaannnn~you got us a room for free~" said sanji swooning over the depressed girl

"tell me if you want anything Y/N-chan" even nami was swooning a bit for the 'free' room

soon everyone looked around in peace with the disappearance of the old men with the jar, there were enough bed's for everyone a table of fruit's and a bathroom.

"wait you could've done this before?" asked nami

"yeah, I knew him since I was 7"

"why didn't you do this before!" nami, ussop beat her up in anger "I could've died of the cold!" adde'd ussop

"hey! I lost two of my prized stuff! have some decency!"

"shut up!!"

it was rowdy and chaotic but soon everyone found some comfort to fall asleep.

[leclerced]

Maxoscar where Max teaches Oscar new things. Maybe he and his girlfriend like trying new things in sex so their sex life is rich and they are experienced but then it’s just not the case with Oscar. He knows so little about sex apart for the basics and he never even had an orgasm when he tried with men before so when Max gives him orgasm after orgasm he’s so shocked and he never wants to stop (innocent!Oscar to slut!Oscar kind of thing)

okay but imagine.

max and his girlfriend wanna have a threesome so they ask him one night. can see them getting close to him first, inviting him out to celebrate or out to dinner. subtly flirting with him to test the waters, see how he reacts. if there’s any interest. oscar doesn’t know why the world champion and his girlfriend keep asking to hang out with him, but he’s not gonna say no. especially when he’s pretty sure they’re flirting with him and even if he’s completely wrong about it he likes the attention, he likes the way they make him feel generally speaking, like he fits in there, like he’s not just a rookie. he’s one of them!!

then they pop that question one night and he’s so shocked, he goes silent and they panic thinking they’ve misread signals or something. immediately are like, “sorry never mind, forget we asked! didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” and oscar suddenly remembers to use his words and he’s stupidly like, “um, why me?” his face is so sweet, wide eyes and pink cheeks. she thinks its the cutest thing ever, leans in and says, “why don’t you let us show you sometime yeah? actions speak louder than words anyways, don’t they?” he nods and max tells him to use his words and he stutters out an okay. they wanna talk about it right then apparently because as soon as he says okay, max is asking what he’s into, does he like guys and girls or just guys? what is he okay with? oscar’s heart is racing as he answers all of their questions and they give him their answers back, his mind swimming with all the ideas of what they’ll be doing; majority of which are things he hasn’t ever done before. i feel like he wouldn’t have been w a guy in years, since he was a teenager fooling around and so they agree to ease back into that which he’s grateful for. but also, when they say they’ll ease into it it makes him think this isn’t a one time thing like he thought it was going to be.

the first time they fuck, he doesn’t know what to expect, but even his barest expectations are shattered when he arrives to their place and she’s in lingerie and tells him she bought it just for him. they take him to the guest room and get straight down to business, both of them too excited to wait any longer. she guides him to sit on the bed and crawls onto his lap and asks if she can kiss him, and as soon as they’re kissing all bets are off and oscar’s all in. it’s all a blur in his mind when he looks back on it. max made her ride his thigh and then told oscar to go down on her, and the entire time, max is telling him what to do, what she likes, and she’s praising him for being so good. he’s never experienced anything like that, never had someone tell him what to do, or had praise him the way she is, whimpering his name and telling him how good his mouth feels, begging him for more while she pulls his hair and rocks her hips into his face. he’s gone down on men and woman but it’s a different experience going down on her.

they’d jerk him off and suck him off together, teasing him until he’s begging to cum like she had been when he was going down on her, and then max is taking over and makes him cum twice more, and he can’t think straight anymore. he watches them fuck after he’s came three times, and somehow gets hard again. she rides him after max is finished and she’s full of max’s cum, definitely not on his threesome bingo card but it should have been. he’s so sensitive all he can do is lay there and take it as she works both of them towards one last orgasm. max’s lips find his neck and he starts kissing him and telling him how good he is, and oscar’s just fucking gone.

oscar expects them to kick him out once she climbs off of him and flops down next to him, but max fetches a washcloth and begins cleaning both of them up, then fetches water and then carries her out of the room, mumbling something. he returns a moment to ask oscar why he’s still laying there, asks if he needs to be carried too and holds out a hand for support. he asks what max is talking about, and he’s like, “well i said c’mon didn’t i? we aren’t sleeping in here, obviously.” and oscar just blinks at him before taking the outstretched hand and following him to their actual bedroom and she’s already cuddled up in the middle of the bed and just pats the bed on either side of her for them to join her.

[bernardsbendystraws]

rose bro you can hear me out in this i know it.

cause THIS ARE ACTUALLY good 2025 goals for their channel.

i really think video quality and the thumbnails really suck so bad. it’s their job, not a hobby and at this point they can put some effort into the videos. i know im not they only one that has seen they low attitude in some videos, if they don’t even wanna be there recording that video why i would wanna watch it?

thumbnails are UGLY. simply and direct. ugly, some of the pics they even use, fucking hell i can see the pixels motherfucker. if the don’t want to pay a person that edits and makes the thumbnails they can at least try to learn, IT’S THEIR JOB! so it’s not a waste of time.

Now back to the videos, i hate how they’re random cuts in the videos. literally every time matt or chris are going to say something, the clip cuts after they say they were about to say something. matt and chris have even said before “don’t cut this from the video” this is not hate towards nick, but hello?? i genuinely wanted to know, if you’re not leaving that at least CUT all the part 😭😭 then the new CAMERA LENS, sucks, yes it sucks i can count all the single pixel: some videos we got a good quality others simply suck. BRING THE OLD LENS BACK. Otherwise, the content, they really should be following tendencies as they did with the “hear me out cake “o “she’s a 10 but..” cause IT’S works, if they want views and interactions from a new public they have to do what people wants to see, and yes that’s how social media works.

Then the semi-last point it’s the interaction they’ve with fans apart from them calling idiots the matt girls, or simply insulting us for 15 minutes straight. bro, at least give us GOOD interactions, at the end of the day we’re the fans, i genuinely giggle sometimes but other times im genuinely confused why im being randomly insulted as an interaction. 😭😭😭

THE LAST one, kick out..fire their actual manager, i get laura is close to them cause she’s the mom of blah blah blah. Yes i DON’T CARE. that woman knows nothing about being a good manager; they really need to fire her and get an actual good manager that is willing to work and help them, a manager that would sit down and show them actually good and interesting videos a content ideas.

ex. this woman made a serie of videos giving them stream, car videos, podcast and video ideas:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6C3LJMn/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6C3R2DF/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6C3LvsS/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6Cc7Lpj/

Laura needs to fuck OFF. I hate that woman and I think she's weird as fuck - who has their client move into their house because their 16 year old daughter thinks they're fun? I can't get over it, it doesn't sit right with me at ALL.

They've always called people insane so I'm never really butthurt about it because they're never really talking to me directly - usually they're talking about the actual weird people who are parasocial and shit lol.

I love the complete random cuts lol, my brain stays entertained trying to keep up. I don't know shit about cameras, but I agree that I like their old one better. ( but I legit don't know shit so take that with a grain of salt )

To me, it looks like every other Youtube thumbnail. I don't really care for the thumbnail tho so lmao

I think the attitude is sometimes an issue, but also sometimes not. I really do get it though. But I also LOVE when Nick just starts screaming bc he's so frustrated and he rants about something so stupid that they all end up laughing LMAOOOO

But I totally get what you mean!!!! It's okay to feel that way! At the end of the day, you can't really control it, but RANT AND VENT AS LONG AS ITS NOT HURTFUL!!!!

[igotanidea]

Date gone wrong : Jason Todd x plus-size fem!reader part 2

part 1

Y/N rushed out of the cave and back into her room with the speed no one would even dare to suspect her of having. Tim could barely keep up with her and he was the Robin. Much more trained than her.  The second the girl reached her bedroom she fell onto the soft sheets groaning in frustration and the pillow did little to muffle it.

“Y/N….” Tim approached her slowly, not having enough courage  to sit beside

“You know Tim, sometimes I hate your brothers.”

“Tell me about it. Dick and Jason can be a pain in the ass each but when they are together….” Tim shook his head, understanding her perfectly “for what it’s worth I’m sorry I started this.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s not your fault at all.”

“So….. you’re not sad? You acted pretty shaken out there. I mean, there are still signs of tears on your face.”

“Please” she rolled her eyes and propped herself on the elbow to face the middle Wayne. “It was an act. I was really hoping this would stop them from reading. You did not hear it from me, but tears are sometimes woman’s last resort. Most man get bemused with the sight of it and give up whatever reason caused them. Of course I should have known this wouldn’t work for your brothers.”

“Probably. But you know, it’s ok to be hurt. There is nothing wrong with it.” Tim finally sat on the bed next to his friend.

 “I know. And I was. But it was long time ago, you know. I came to terms with the fact that I’m not the girl who can be the object of interests. And it’s fine. Or maybe not. I mean there are worse and better days, but I’m handling them. I’d rather focus on how I act and behave and my character than reminiscent all the hard words from the past.”

“Some people in this family could really take example from you.”

“Hush!” Y/N  smiled and put a hand over Tim’s mouth “the walls have ears, let’s not give away any names.”

“As you wish. You know, Y/N, I know first handed that being laughed at, mocked and pointed because of who you are sucks. But the world is full of assholes and …. “ he hesitated

“What?”

“I can’t believe I’m gonna say it” Tim rubbed his forehead “but in this case the “fuck them” attitude helps. You just do your thing and people who are really worth a place in your life will appear. “

“How’s Bernard doing, Tim?”

“I… um…. What?”

“Oh, you are blushing. That is just so cute.”

“I’m not…. This is not about…..”

“Hey, relax. I’m the last one who will tease you about it. You two are really good together and you deserve all the best in the world Tim. Don’t worry about me. I’m….. good with my life. Especially since I have a friend like you.” she looked straight into his face “Thank you, Tim. You never fail to make me feel better.”

“Likewise, Y/N” Tim smirked, a crazy plan already forming inside his head “and speaking of friends, Bernard has one friend that I think you would like to meet and…..”

“Oh, damn it!”

***

“Remind me again, why did I agree to this?”

“Cause you could not resist my proposition.”

“Sure, if you can even call it proposition.” she hissed  “blind double date. I can’t believe it. It’s like going back in time.”

“This time it will be so much better, I promise.”

“I trust you with this, Tim. But I don’t really have high hopes. I told you, I’m not Miss America, just the girl next door and that is not…..”

“Hush! Stop it! You look amazing and are a wonderful person and if you can’t see it yourself I’m gonna help you get to the point where you respect yourself and …..”

“Tim?”

“Yes?”

“Did you notice that our friendship is mostly based on assuring each other that we have value outside of work and the things we do? It’s like we are constantly trying to prove each other we deserve good things.”

“The difference is, you were a bit more successful with that than me.”

“Just a bit?” Y/N  raised an eyebrow in disbelief

“Let me return the favor, Y/N. Let me …. Oh, there they are.” The boy turned towards the direction of two man walking across the street towards them.

“Hello Tim.” Bernard came closer and smiled at his boyfriend “Y/N.”

“Hey Bernard. Nice to see you again.”

“Been too long, right? Tim is always so secretive when it comes to his family it seems like I’m being left out. “

“I’m sure he told you enough to get me inside this situation.”

“Right.” Bernard chucked “speaking of that I’d like you to meet Tyler, Y/N. Where is ……?”

“I’m here, I’m here. Sorry, got an emergency call at the hospital and just could not …..”

“Tyler is a doctor!” Bernard interrupted the explanation “he’s very devoted to his work but thankfully, still made it on time. Tyler, this is Y/N, the girl I told you about.”

“Hello, miss Y/N. It’s truly a pleasure to meet you.”

“Um…. Thank you?” that was new for her. She was rather used to being judged for her curves and outlook, but this one here seemed like a really nice guy, who saw more than just the way she looked like.

“Bernard told me you work in tech industry?”

“Not exactly. I have wide knowledge on the subject but I write a column about it for a newspaper rather than invent anything myself and …..”

“With her brain she could be the best pioneer in the state…..”

“Tim!” Y/N hissed trying to make his stop

“But she refused an offer from the Wayne Enterprises saying this would be bad for her objectivity….”

“Really?” Tyler eyed her carefully and she involuntarily blushed under his gaze “This must have taken a hell lot of guts.  Saying no to Wayne? I would love to hear more.”

“Shall we then?” Bernard took Tim’s arm and lead the way to the café the four friends were supposed to spend the evening.

*** meanwhile, at the batcave Jason was sitting in front of the computer searching for the information that would be of use to him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dick finally got to him, relieved his younger brother did not do anything stupid or crazy. Yet.

“I told you, I’m going to make it right.”

“By trawling Y/N’s bad dates from three years ago?!”

“Yes.”

“And then what? Beat them to death? Jason, come on, are you completely insane?!”

“They made a grave mistake of making her feel bad about herself. A one-time mistake.”

“I wonder why are you more bothered by it than she was. If I didn’t know you, I would say you care about ….”

“what? no.” Jay snorted “I just like a good fight that’s it. And it’s enough of a reason.”

“Since when do you need reason, Jaybrid?” Dick smirked and Jason finally turned from the screen to face his brother.

“Drop it, Dickhead.”

“Ok, fine, relax, I’m just saying that maybe there’s more to it then you think….”

“No girl would be disrespected if I can do anything about it! It’s not about Y/n! It’s about making sure that women in this fucking city can feel safe and not abused by some shitheads like those guys she met with. After I’m done with them, they would never say a bad word about any female ever!”

“Calm down, Jay. You don’t know about them. Maybe they have changed? Maybe there’s no need to get this violent and …..”

“I hate your attitude, Grayson. Take a look at this.” Jason pointed towards the screen “I managed to locate seven of the men she wrote about…..”

“What?! How!? Please don’t tell me you dragged Babs into this mess?”

“I joined voluntarily. “ familiar sound of wheelchair echoed through the cave and a few seconds later Barbara Gordon herself came into view “Hi, Dick.”

“I can’t believe it. “ Dick shook his head “This must me some crazy dream. You two working together?!”

“He has a point with this safety for woman rhetoric. Not every girl can protect herself like me or Steph or Cass of even Y/N. So if that means some men have to be taught a lesson I’m more than glad to participate. “

“I can’t…..”

“Ekhem.” Jason coughed impatiently cutting the exchange of words between Dick and Babs “As I was saying we managed to find some information about those guys. Seems like your arguments of their change and becoming better fails here, Dickhead. Just take a look yourself.

Dick sighed deeply and involuntarily raised his head to examine the findings.

“Wait. This is what you found?!”

Photos and extracts of newspaper titles were gleaming on the screen. Some of them coveting the subject of girls being used and dragged into brothels, some other about violent men beating their girlfriends, other about murder attempts.

“I don; think that is anything new in Gotham, but fine. I’ll help you.”

“No one asked you to, Grayson! Stay out of my way!”

“I can’t let you lose, Jay. You will wreak havoc on them.”

“That’s the whole point!”

“This is not….. Wait, what is it?”

A chime on the screen got the attention of three people and much to their surprise a picture of Y/N in a café with some guy popped in.

“Um, Babs? What filer did you use for your search?”

“Y/N’s name, obviously.” Barbara shrugged

“And is that why we are now watching her in a real-time during her date?”

“Most probably.”

“Over my dead body!” Jason hissed “I’m not letting her get hurt again.” and with such words he run out of the cave, in his civil clothes, not caring about anyone or anything else.

“It’s not about her, my ass” Dick smirked

“Aren’t you going to stop him? You were dead  set on it a minute ago.”

“Yeah, but situation has changed. If he does something crazy or stupid Y/N will put him in his place better than I ever could. “

***

“…. And that was when all came running back apologizing for leaving the kettle on.” Tyler ended the joke and Bernard, Tim and Y/N laughed loudly.

For the last hour, he showed himself as a really caring, funny and nice guy with a hell lot of interest and intelligence beyond average. The way he was talking and asking questions about Y/N made her feel both surprised and valued as a person. He did everything to make her feel good and freely in his presence and she liked that. A lot.

“Told you it would be nice” Tim whispered to her, when Tyler excused himself to get some more beverages  “It seems like you are warming up to him.”

“Shut it!” Y/N blushed a bit “he’s just so different from all the guys I know and  it’s nice.”

“Guess you owe me thanks.” Tim grinned

“We’ll see about that.” She smiled back

“Not my place to judge, Y/N, but it’s been a while since I saw you this happy so….?”

“Are you two talking about me behind my back?” Tyler came back and laughed seeing  Tim and Y/N whispering to each other like two gossiping friends in high school

“Obviously.” Y/N kept her cool “all the worst things. I mean, you are so kind and nice, there’s got to be some skeleton in your closet. “

“How about we get out of here so I can show it you?”

“Oh, aren’t you moving fast forward?” despite her best efforts Y/N could not hide the little tremble in her voice

“I’m just kidding, Y/n, relax. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s ok. Just …. Something from the past getting on the surface and clouding my judgement.”

“I’ll be sure not to trigger anything.” Tyler gently touched her hand and her eyes grew wide. That was a sign for Tim to get into action.

“I’ll take you on that offer to get out of here. It’s getting late anyway and we should head home. Busy day tomorrow, right Y/N?”

“What?” she needed a second to get back to reality. “Sure, sure. Busy day. We need to get ready.”

“Very well then. I’ll walk you home, Y/n.” Tyler stood up and once again reached an arm towards her and walking her out the café.

“Aren’t you staying at the manor, tonight? We might need your help with something……” Tim’s voice became a bit concerned.

“ Mhm. Sure, I’ll stay at the manor. From your question I assume you already got us a lift?”

“I did. It should be here soon. We just need to get to the usual picking point.”

“Picking point?” Tyler frowned, a bit confused and Bernard, who was already used to the bats and friends; terminology laughed.

“It’s the place where their driver pick them from” he explained “easy as it is.”

“All right then. I suppose this is goodbye for now?”

“For now?” Y/N asked

“I had a really nice time with you tonight, Y/N. I would love to see you again if you want to….”

“That… that would be nice. I guess. “

“I would call you, but I think it would be best to give you freedom in this area” God, why was he so nice “after all, it’s woman’s choice to give man a chance.” Once again he reached to her hand and with the gentlest of touches brought it to her lips and brushed his lips over it. At this point Y/N was close to fainting but before she could say a single word yelling of her name came from the other side of the street.

“Y/L/N!”

“Holy shit, what the fuck is he doing here? Tim!?”

“I have no idea, Y/N. I’m sorry. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Drake. He’s going to eat you alive!”

“Wait. Who is this guy?” Tyler instinctively came in front of Y/N, covering her with his body “should we run away?”

“The real question is who the fuck are you and what are you doing with Y/L/N?!”

“Jay…..” Y/n’s voice was so cold that it would froze anyone else at the spot. Anyone but Jason Todd.

“Not a word Y/n.”

“Look, dude. I have no idea who you are, but you cannot just talk to her like that!” Tyler became way to defensive for his own good.

“Oh, really?! SO it happens, I am one of the people that protect woman in this city from the scumbags like you!”

“JASON!”

“I told you to keep quiet, Y/N. We are going home, now.”

“You are not the boss of me!” she yelled “I can go out with whoever I want!”

“Is that why you keep me out of your family?” Bernard leaned over to Tim and whispered in his ear.

“Mhm” Tim run a hand through his hair “guys, please don’t make a scene on the street. We all have good intentions here so how about we all calm down, huh?”

“You calm down, Drake. This is none of your business.”

“Actually…..”

“Tim’s right. Enough is enough. I’m sorry Tyler, I’m sorry you had to meet Jason like this. Apparently he is not himself today.” Y/N turned around to look straight into Jace’s face with mix of pain and reproach. “I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/n. I’m just sorry you are being treated like this. Call me?”

“Sure. I’ll call you” she smiled and with a single nod and murderous glance at Jason Tyler walked away chased by Bernard who already said his goodbyes to Tim.

“You really are gonna call him ?” Jason raised an eyebrow.”

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up Jason Todd.” Y/N’s hissed in the most calm voice she could “get into the car, we’ll talk at the manor.”

***

The way home was the most awkward one ever. There was unusual silence, tones of cold stares and palpable electricity running between Jason and Y/N. The second they reached the destination Tim run away from any possible fight between those two, but being found by Dick and Babs who expected explanations of what happened made his attempt futile.

At the same time Jason and Y/N barely made it to the living room when he started his anger fit.

“What the hell were you thinking!?” he yelled “didn’t you learn anything from the past? From all those guys who made you suffer and depreciated you?!”

“Jason.”

“What?! Why?! Why are you doing it again?! I hate seeing you sad, you know it! And this is how its going to end up!”

“Huh! Like you care at all.”

“I care about your sense of humor. Last time you were feeling under the dog I was stuck with Dick’s dad joke and it was a total disaster.”

“Of course, selfish as always.”

“Were you expecting anything else?”

“No. “

“Ditch this guy before he breaks you like everyone else before!”

“Fuck you, Jace! Tyler is a nice one, unlike many others I knew or…. know.”  their gazes met and the fury and ice in her eyes made him shiver. Was that how she was seeing him? “And if it wasn’t for your interference I might actually have a chance with him. But now, he saw your worst side and maybe…. Maybe that will make him back off.”

“He’s not worth your time.”

“Then who is, Jace?! And why the hell are you interested in my love life all of a sudden? What is your problem, here? Tell me the truth.”

“I told you the truth!”

“Bullshit! You got a tell and I know you are hiding something! So what the fuck is this!”

“I want to protect you!”

“Pro…. Protect me?” she stuttered “from what?”

“The pain. The disappointment. All the bad feelings.”

“Jason” she sighed deeply, becoming calm “come here” Y/n patted a spot next to her on the couch “come on.” He approached her carefully “look at me. I don’t need you to protect me, all right? I’ve spend half of my life in a glass cage created by my parents. The walls of it being all the good intentions. Starting from you know nothing about life, you won’t make it on your own, we are trying to help you here, parents know better. Ugh!  The worst thing was that I was listening and believing them for such a long time. It was years till I escaped and eradicated all the voiced inside my head, telling me that it would be better to run and hide. And I’ve lost so much during those years I was under the command. The realization of it still hurts me sometimes. ”

“Y/N….”

“Hush. Let me finish. I don’t want to go back there. Do you understand me?” he nodded “I can’t go back to hiding. And that is why I don’t need protection. I am perfectly capable of handling myself. “

“I just.. I just…..” Jace muttered

“I know.” Y/N smiled and squeezed his hand “ you want to be helpful. But that is not what I need from you, all right? I need your presence, your friendship, your bantering with me, your opinions and thoughts, but not this. I don’t want the aggressive, unhinged Jason. Can you promise me that?”

“I don’t think I can.” he looked down, unable to meet her honest gaze

“Good.” She chuckled

“What?” that was surprising.

“If you did promise me that, I would know you were dishonest. I know you are still fighting your demons, we all are and what you said just proved to me you are trying to be better but do not make empty promises. So thank you.”

“Oh, please. Don’t get all sappy on me. You know I hate that.”

‘So let go of my hand.” She pointed out raising their joined palms.

“Not yet.” He smirked “it’s the only way to keep you here and prevent you from calling that asshole”

“JASON PETER TODD!”

***

“How long do you think it will take them to realize?”

“given the way they communicate with each other might be years.”

“Don’t you think we should do something about it?”

“Do you have a death wish? If any of them finds out we were messing out with their lifes…..”

“I’m willing to take the risk. Come on, it will be fun.”

“You got very strange definition of the word, Grayson.”

“I knew I would lure you in, Timmy.”

“Don’t call me that!”

@pinksirensong @jasontoddsthickbabe

[resident-idiot-simp]

I’ve always hated media interpretations of hope, usually its depicted as an innocent fragile little thing that needs to be protected regardless of what form it’s taken ie inanimate object, animal, human or just a concept. I actually like what they did with hope in the Percy Jackson universe but I won’t into details here for fear of spoilers.

I think Ghost as the God of Hope works really well because he (nearly) always survives regardless or in spite of what it will take to live like when he dug himself out of his own grave. None of it was pretty or kind and there are even moments where he is small and fragile but it feels earnt in the story and hearing still survived Hope has a nasty habit of springing back up even after you’ve squashed it.

I fell like people have a habit of writing Despair as some loud ugly thing that just lashes out and it can be that but it can also be silent and still or even seemingly happy it doesn’t always lead to steaming and crying I have literally seen people so sad they start laughing.

I’ve think Soap as the God Despair works so well as well because people also sometimes mischaracterise him as this happy go lucky guy who not as smart or as good at his job compared to the rest of the 141 and Ghost in particular, he may not be as stealthy as Ghost but he’s more destructive and I would argue smarter in a book sense way.

As Gods I’d say they both have a Grim determination to get the job done the difference being hope fighting for the end and despair fighting till the end.

One of the inspirations for this idea was the story of Pandora and the Alone mission. Soap opens the proverbial jar and lets out the nightmares when questioning graves on his and shepherd’s betrayal. Pandora was curios and opened the jar realising evil unto the world. Ghost stayed to watch over and guide Soap through a city being destroyed by monsters they’d previously helped. Hope was the last thing left in the jar and it stayed to protect and help humanity survive.

When questioned about Ghost staying behind to help Soap in Las Alma’s they both responded together and opposite eachother, Soap in despair felling alone and Ghost resolute always there.

This was supposed to be short lol

Side note imagine 09 Ghost Soap Persephone and Hades

I agree honestly it misses the whole point of hope smh.

OOHHH amazing reasoning absolutely agree with you. God and that is such a powerful connection and example. That even in the worst moments humanity will always succeed and conquer.

I have to it is a sight to see and so telling of the sheer lengths people can go and what they can handle. The amount of respect I have for people who suffer so much and can still smile is beyond words. My mom is disabled and was told she would never work again, but that woman got up and told the world to fuck Itself. She got better It's still hard and there are days she can't get out of bed, but she beat the predictions. She has chronic fatigue and chronic pain with fibromyalgia, she has a heart aneurysm we are keeping a close eye on and just beat breast cancer. She from what I have seen is the embodiment of hope and the strength of the human spirit.

Completely agree as does @azilver we talk about this a lot. People really don't understand Soap's character and it sucks. It's all a mask or if it isn't it is a tool in his arsenal so people don't realize how dangerous he is.

Again, completely agree.

YES, GOD DO YOU HAVE A LINK I NEED TO CONSUME THAT LIKE CRACK!

AGAIN, SPOT ON! That is such a good way to tie that line into the idea as well as a good basis on top of the already solid reasoning!

(HOLY SHIT!!!! OMFG YOUR RIGHT THE LIST IS BEING ADDED TO THAT IS SO BASED)

[sinsiriuslyemo]

For the #100 NSFW/Smut Dialogue Prompts, could you please do number 52 with Doctor Zachary Smith from the 1998 version of Lost In Space?

Thank you in advance

2060

When you agreed to allow Dr Zachary Smith onto the SS Phalanx, you had no idea what you were getting yourself into. 

   After the return of the Robinsons, Major West and Jupiter II, the United World Governments had ordered the production of ten exploratory ships to begin charting more of the galaxy in deep space. The idea was that it would help ensure safe travels for any future expeditions using warp speed. A few months later, you were the youngest woman in UWG history to be named Captain of a midsize exploratory ship: the SS Phalanx — arguably the best day of your life — until your commanding officer informed you that Dr Zachary Smith would be joining your crew as the ship’s doctor. At first you thought he might be joking, but it didn’t take long to realize that he was far from joking. Apparently the traitor doctor had negotiated a plea — save his life from the infectious spider bite on his back, and he would forever be in debt to the UWG. Of course, he was a liar, manipulator and opportunist. There was no way he could be trusted on a fighter ship nor could he be trusted to even run a lab on-planet. The only other options were to either send him to Lastrites, a prison planet where most criminals were abandoned, or to assign him a post on an exploratory ship, a low stakes assignment where he would have little to nonexistent opportunity for sabotage.

   The initial decision was to send him to Lastrites, but apparently Professor Robinson had talked the higher ups out of it. Something about him being manipulative and intelligent enough to gather support among the other prisoners, build or hijack a vessel and attack Alpha Prime. The smarter decision was to keep the doctor under close watch. 

   You had reluctantly agreed, while inside you were fuming. You’d worked your entire life — busted your ass in basic training — to be assigned Captain of one of the new exploratory ships, and yet you were being made to play fucking babysitter?! What was worse was that Dr Smith was arrogant, selfish and one of the most obnoxious men you’d ever met. Not even his good looks made dealing with him on any level worth it. 

   Regardless, you had been given a direct order from your superior, there was no choice in the matter.

   “Entering sector 12b, Captain,” your navigator announced.

   “We’ve been charting new galaxies for two months,” your pilot groaned to himself.

   “Well, that’s part of our job, Stevenson. The whole point of exploratory ships isn’t just to discover new planets, it’s also to map out more of the galaxy and make space travel more efficient so that what happened to Jupiter II doesn’t happen again,” you replied, shifting to a more comfortable position in your chair.

   “With all due respect, maybe having the guy who caused that incident on our ship isn’t the best way to do that, Sir,” Stevenson replied.

   “Not my call. As far as the UWG is concerned, Dr Smith is far too dangerous to be left to his own devices on a prison planet.”

   “So they put him on our crew?” your security officer asked.

   “Well, that’s why we have you, Callister,” you answered, smirking over at her. “Unlike the robot on Jupiter II, you have no operating systems which can be tampered with.”

   “Sometimes I wonder if he even has morals at all,” Stevenson mused as his fingers busied themselves logging their traveled distance. “I mean, apparently the kid said he did technically save him once while they were stranded on Priplanus but was it out of moral instinct or did he do that because he knew it was in his best interest?”

   “Who knows,” your navigator replied, pushing the button on the console that took panoramic photographs of the surrounding stars and constellations. “Maybe when they sucked the spiders out of him, they managed to suck the evil out too.”

   “I wouldn't be so sure,” Stevenson mumbled.

   “Captain, I’m getting a transmission from an unknown planet in the Zeta Centauri system,” Callister said, turning to look at you with her eyes lit up. “It says, ‘Is anyone out there?’”

   You grinned as a bubble of excitement fluttered in your belly, and pressed the com button that would allow you to address the entire ship at once, telling them to prepare all stations for first contact. 

   This was it — the reason you enlisted in the Universal World Governments to begin with. Ever since you were a child, you had dreamed about getting to go out into space and explore new worlds, and now it was finally happening. There was just one last thing you needed to take care of before joining the landing party in the shutter hangar.

   You turned to your first officer sitting in the chair beside yours. “Take the com? I need to have a chat with our doctor and make sure he knows what's expected of him.”

   “Yes, Sir.”

   Standing, you left the bridge and made your way down to the med bay, where you expected to find Dr Smith. 

   You had done your best to maintain a professional niceness with him at first despite the fact that you didn’t trust him as far as you could throw him, something he seemed to pick up on no matter how well you tried to hide it. In spite of being given a second chance of sorts, his bitterness at being ‘demoted’ and assigned to an exploratory ship was palpable and he never missed an opportunity to suggest he was better than his station. If you were being honest, he was likely right, but that hadn’t been enough to simply forget the damage he’d caused. He was lucky to be alive, let alone the head Doctor on any vessel.

   As you turned a corner, the med bay doors slid open when you approached. You walked to the office in the corner of the room and found Dr Smith sitting at his desk, seemingly in the middle of paperwork.

   “Doctor, I’m not sure if you heard the announcement, but we need all hands prepping stations for first contact. You’ll be a member of the landing par —”

   “Yes, yes, I heard you,” he replied, waving a dismissive hand without once looking up at you. 

   “And yet, your team hasn’t begun to prep the med bay.”

   “You’re blaming me for their incompetence?” he asked, finally looking at you.

   “As their commanding officer, it’s your job to —”

   “I know what my job is, Captain.”

   You arched a brow at him. “Do you? Because it seems for the last year that you’ve been on this crew your time has been consumed with sulking like a spoiled child who had his candy taken from him.” You took a step closer to his desk until the edge was barely pressed into the legs of your trousers. “May I remind you, Doctor, that the United World Governments would’ve been in their right to send you to Lastrites for what you did on Jupiter II. As far as I’m concerned, you’re only here due to their willingness to have mercy.” You put a little more bass in your voice. “Now get up and instruct your team to prepare for first contact. I expect you to be in the shuttle hangar in five minutes.”

   The corner of his lips curled into an amused smirk as he looked you over. “Very well, Captain.”

   Turning on your heel, you left his office and went back to the bridge. “Callister, have you had a response yet?”

   “Nothing yet, Captain. It appears the message has been on a running loop for the last twenty years. Harold was able to pinpoint where the signal was broadcasting from.”

   Nodding, you reclaimed your chair and gave the order to your pilot to proceed to your destination. 

   The planet was a solid tan with slightly darker veins weaving all around it. There didn’t appear to be any form of life at all at first glance, something your chief scientist confirmed. After first double checking with your chief scientist that the planet had breathable air and gravity, you collected your first officer, second officer, and chief of security, leaving your chief engineer in command until you got back. As the four of you made your way to the shuttle hangar, your first officer leaned toward you.

   “Everything go okay with Smith?”

   You let out a sigh. “It’s incredible how he acts as if he didn’t try to assassinate an entire family and cause their ship to be stranded on a barren planet. If it weren’t for that little boy vouching for him, he’d be rotting away on Lastrites.”

   “So it went smoothly,” she teased.

   “If by ‘smoothly’ you mean I ripped him a new asshole and walked out; yeah, it went smoothly.”

   Walking into the hangar, you were pleased to see Dr Smith already waiting there with his gear. He tipped his head at you and your first officer. “Captain. Commander.”

   “Doctor,” you replied, walking past him into the shuttle. Once the five of you were buckled in, you took the shuttle down to the surface of the nearly barren planet. 

   “Might I ask why we’re even bothering to come down here when there is seemingly nothing to see?” Dr Smith asked.

   “Oh come on, Zac,” your first officer said playfully. “I thought you’d like getting off the ship for a bit.”

   “My name is Zachary, thank you very much,” he muttered to himself.

   “Harold says there’s a small area of plants growing here,” you said, checking your portable navigation device. “Besides, we already know someone was here once. It’d be good to try to find out what happened.” You turned to look at him. “Any ideas, Doctor?”

   Smith held your gaze for a moment before he looked around at the vast desert-like surface around them. “Well, assuming there was in fact life here, and not just someone that was stranded, my guess would be a lack of rain over a prolonged period, possibly coupled with a lack of other resources. No rain led to severe water shortages, which would lead to drought, crop failures and, of course, economic collapse. They might have been able to survive for sometime, but without the storms and rains, life would cease to exist.”

   “But Harold said there was plant life here. How can that be if there’s been no rain?” your second officer asked as you held up your navigation device, turning in place to find which direction the small patch of plant life was.

   “Maybe they had water reserves that they thought would last until they got help?” 

   “I imagine so, though it certainly would have run out before the plant life that is apparently growing here,” Smith replied.

   “It’s this way,” you said, pocketing your device. “Keep your eyes open. I doubt we’ll find much that we wouldn’t have seen on the scanner, but you never know.”

   The five of you began to walk through the dry, sandy desert until you came to a massive hill. Without much fanfare, you began to climb, your crew following behind, all except one.

   “I think I’ll just wait for you down here then!” Smith called out, one hand over his eyebrows to shield the sun above.

   “No, you won’t,” you replied, looking back down at him. “Start climbing or we’ll be taking one less person back onto the Phalanx.”

   Smith grimaced, stepping forward and pausing for a moment before he too began to climb up the sand hill. You waited for him as the rest of your party continued their journey up, glaring at him as he reached you.

   “We could’ve gone around,” he complained, passing you with great effort.

   “And it would’ve taken us longer,” you answered. “Look at it this way; at least you’re getting in some exercise.”

   He scoffed exhaustedly, grunting as he pulled himself up the hill. “I can think of much better things to be doing for cardio than this, Captain.”

   You didn’t respond, only glancing up at him as you continued your climb behind him while trying not to look at his ass. For as much as you couldn’t stand Dr Smith in many ways, you could admit he was an attractive man. In fact, it was only when he opened his mouth and spoke that your attraction to him dimmed. Still, you weren’t about to give him any sort of upperhand by telling him that you thought he was handsome.

   By the time you reached the top, you were all sweating profusely, each of you taking long gulps from your respective water cans as you took in the view. There was sandy terrain and other sand hills for miles, except for one vibrant green patch not far from where you were. It was a relief to not have to encounter anymore sand hills to reach it, and the five of you set off toward it, having to slide down on your bottoms after the hill became too steep.

   “Well, I’ve got my workout in for the day,” Callister said with heavy breaths as you all reached the bottom.

   “How is this even possible?” your first officer asked, taking a few steps towards the greenery.

   There were some plants that normally grew in the desert; Prickly Pears, Desert Willows, Pindo Palms and others, but some were trees and plants that weren’t in any registry — likely plants that were native to the planet. But without water?

   “As I said, these plants might have very well begun to grow after the society was eradicated. It’s possible this planet has seen some rain in the past few years, though clearly not enough to replenish the entire planet quite yet,” Dr Smith said, wiping beads of sweat from the back of his neck with a handkerchief. “It’s quite extraordinary actually. Most plants, without a water source, will die within a week, some after a few months. In this environment, I would expect the latter. The root will survive for quite a while afterward, but it will decompose over time. These clearly didn’t despite the dry heat and no rain for who knows how long — at least a decade though quite possibly longer. I’d like to take some samples back with us for testing.”

   You nodded to him, reaching for your earpiece. “Harold, there’s nothing here. Just a bunch of plants and trees. Can you check for thermal signatures below the surface? I wonder if some people tried to go underground, away from the heat when it became too much.”

   “Certainly, Captain.” you heard over your com.

   Dr Smith was beginning to gather samples of all the plants, going from one to the other. He was approaching a smaller plant with what appeared to be bright yellow six-petal flowers, and went to cut one off but the stem wouldn’t give beneath the sheer blades. He tried again and again, with no luck. Finally, apparently fed up with trying, he instead took hold of the plant’s base and ripped it from the soil, blinking several times as the dirt beneath kicked up slightly. Sneezing twice, he gave a sniff and pulled out a sealant from his bag, wrapping it around the root, which had come out in his efforts.

   Callister and your second officer were checking the perimeter of the green patch for any sources of water or indication of recent rain while your first officer took samples of the sand to take back to the ship. 

   “Captain, it appears you’re correct. About forty-seven feet South West from your current position, there are two distinct thermal signatures.”

   “Can you tell if they’re human?”

   “Negative. I would advise you to proceed with caution.”

   “Copy that,” you answered, feeling a pair of eyes on you. When you looked up, Dr Smith was staring back at you, his gaze slowly lowering over your frame, as if he was taking you in. “You alright there, Doc?” you asked, slightly dipping your head to bring his eyes back to yours, all while ignoring the shiver that was trickling down your spine.

   Smith cleared his throat, nodding curtly. “Just fine, Captain. Thank you.” He took a deep breath before he gestured to his backpack. “I’d like to get these back to the ship as soon as possible, so could we hurry it along?”

   Rolling your eyes as Callister and Briggs came back, you nodded to them. “Anything?”

   “Nothing that we could see,” Briggs answered. “Though there were some damp patches of ground on the North side of the greenery. It looks like a drying puddle, but no water left. Must’ve rained a few days ago, maybe a week.”

   “It’s like the planet wiped out existing life to make way for new life,” your first officer mused, almost to herself.

   “You say that like the planet is sentient,” you replied with a smirk. 

   “Well, no, obviously it’s not, but… it’s just interesting.”

   “Harold said there are two thermal signatures less than fifty feet from here to the South West.”

   “Human?” Callister asked.

   “Unclear. But if there are people down there, we should bring them back to the Phalanx with us. Maybe we can give them some supplies or just drop them off at the next habitable planet. Callister, you mind taking the front?” you asked, earning a nod of affirmation from her. “Great, Briggs, you and Halster fall in behind us, and Doc?” You looked to find Dr Smith staring at your body again with what you could swear was a lustful look in his eyes. “Dr Smith,” you said again more firmly.

   His eyes snapped up to yours in shock.

   “You’ll walk between me and Halster, copy?”

   He swallowed, nodding once.

   “Alright, let’s move.”

   The sun seemed to be getting closer to the planet, making the air drier and hotter than even the hottest summer you’d experienced back on Alpha Prime. Your skin was beginning to become pink with the beginnings of a sunburn, and for a moment you hoped the Dr had managed to find some aloe that you could use once you got back to the shuttle. Drinking from your water can, you couldn’t help but feel Smith’s eyes on you as the five of you trekked through the sandy expanse of the desert planet until your navigation device began to beep.

   “It should be here,” you mumbled, looking around at the ground, but seeing nothing that stood out. Kicking some sand aside, you started to look for a latch, a lever, anything really to indicate an underground structure of some kind.

   “Captain,” Callister whisper-yelled, waving you over and pointing down at the ground once you looked up at her.

   Taking out your gun, you set it to stun and pointed it to the latch that was peeking out from beneath the sand. Slowly, Callister turned the handle, unlocking the latch with a thunderous snap, and carefully tugged it open.

   “This is Captain YFN of the SS Phalanx! Is there anyone down there?” you called out.

   “We’re here!”

   The distant voice was accompanied by scurrying footsteps that grew in volume as they got closer to the opening. Your trigger finger relaxed, hands lowering slightly as a skinny man dressed in what looked like a burlap sack appeared beneath the open latch.

   “Are either of you hurt?” you asked.

   “My partner — she’s unconscious! Please!” he answered.

   Glancing at Callister, you nodded once and looked back at the man. “Come on up, my security officer will go and get her.”

   You could feel a pair of eyes behind you, staring so hard that it felt as though flames were licking every inch of your skin, even beneath your clothes. Looking over your shoulder, you found Dr Smith, his face and neck glistening with sweat as he appeared to undress you with his eyes. Heat bloomed on your cheeks, a shiver crackling down your frame as his stare met yours and held it. 

   Your first officer and the man were talking but their words were muffled by the intense staring contest you and the doctor were engaged in. It wasn’t until one of them touched your shoulder that you tore your eyes away from Dr Smith’s and looked to see Callister climbing up the ladder with an unconscious woman on her back. Your first officer and the man helped pull her out so that your security chief could climb out.

   “She’s breathing, but her pulse is weak,” Callister said as she closed the hatch back up.

   “Let’s get her back to the ship,” you replied.

   It was another thirty minutes before you were finally back on the Phalanx, and it seemed Dr Smith was slowly going back to his normal, obnoxious self as he and Callister moved the unconscious woman to sick bay, while you and your first officer spoke with the man. Azile was his name, he had apparently been a scientist on the planet you and your party had just left. 

   He and his partner Dr. Shay had anticipated the drought just weeks before the last rainfall. According to him, they had tried to warn people, but their government refused to heed their warnings. They had built an underground shelter and put out a distress signal, hoping to reach someone before their civilization died of exposure and dehydration, but had heard nothing until the Phalanx answered their call.

   “I was sure we would be dead in a matter of weeks if not days,” he said as a nurse checked him over. “We got little rain just last month, and it helped us stay alive a while longer than we would have, but by then everything else had died.”

  “There was an area not far from where your bunker was. Plant life is beginning to grow back, but it’ll be years before it gets big enough to rebuild any form of civilization,” you said. 

   Azile’s eyes lowered, the corners of his lips drooping. “I expect you are correct.”

   Glancing at your first officer, you said, “You’re welcome to both stay aboard the Phalanx. We can take you to the nearest UGW station, where they can help you get settled elsewhere.”

   Azile cut his eyes to you. “You mean leave Copulas?”

   “Is that the name of your planet?”

   “Yes! And we cannot leave. It is our home —”

   “I understand it may be difficult to —”

   “I beg your pardon, Captain, but it is not so simple,” Azile said. “Unless you can take us somewhere where Flaming Blooms grow, we cannot survive anywhere but Copulas.”

   “Flaming Blooms?” you asked, wondering if that was the name of the plant that Dr Smith had taken from the plant area of the planet. 

   “Yes. They grow year round, and are an essential part of our ecosystem. Dr Shay is more knowledgeable of the science behind it than I am, but I do know that without it to permeate the atmosphere, we will die.”

   “What is it?” your first officer asked.

   “Bright yellow Turnera Diffusa.”

   Your first officer gave you a sideways glance, prompting you to clarify, “Flowers. Dr Smith collected a sample of one.”

   “It keeps our air safe to breathe. It is also what allows us to procreate year round,” Azile replied.

   “Captain?”

   Looking over your shoulder, you looked back at Dr Smith, who looked more like his usual self.

   “Dr Shay is awake,” he said. “She’s asking for Azile.”

   “I’m all finished here,” the nurse said. “He’s cleared to go.”

   Nodding to the nurse, you gave Azile a tight smile. “We can take you to see her.”

   After leaving Azile with Dr Shay, you turned to your first officer and Dr Smith. 

   “What do you think? We can’t just leave them here, right?”

   “Not now anyway,” your first officer replied. “There’s no telling how long it’ll take for the planet to become habitable again. They could be in that bunker for years.”

   You turned to Dr Smith as if to ask for his input.

   “It may be possible to leave them with something that could accelerate the plant-growth,” he said, his eyes lingering for a moment on the two rescued scientists. “I’d like to perform some tests on the samples I brought back first.”

   “They said that the flower you brought back keeps their air breathable,” you replied. “Start there.”

   “Perhaps you can leave the science to myself and the other scientists, Captain,” he snarked.

   “Good to see you back to your usual charming self, Doctor,” you quipped back.

   The corner of his lips twitched, as though he’d had an urge to smile but stopped himself. Without another word, he turned and left in the direction of his lab. 

You had contacted the UWG immediately after returning to the bridge, explaining the situation and informing them that you would be remaining in orbit for a few hours while the two Copulians recovered enough to return to their planet. You were authorized to leave them with enough supplies to accelerate the plant growth and begin rebuilding their ecosystem. Just as you were wondering how they would be able to rebuild their society, Harold informed you of three other heat signatures detected below the planet’s surface. In the end, six more Copulians had been rescued.

   It had only been an hour since you’d left Dr Smith to his testing when his voice sounded in your ear piece.

   “Captain.”

   “Everything alright, Doctor?”

   “I’ve found something that you may want to have a look at,” he answered.

   “Copy that,” you said, looking at your first officer. 

   “Go ahead, I’ve got the bridge,” she said with a nod.

   Nodding back, you stood and began to make your way to the lab, where you found Dr Smith leaned over the plant that Azile had identified as a Flaming Bloom. He glanced up at you, looking you over before returning his attention to the flower in front of him. 

   “The other plant life seem to be nutrients, likely what they ate when the planet was fully functioning. This one, however, as you… so eloquently put, indeed is what allows the inhabitants to breathe the air.”

   “How is it that we were able to breathe even though there was so little of it?” you asked.

   “I wondered the same thing, and so I ordered some blood samples and scans from our visitors and ran some tests. It seems that though their biological make-up is similar to our own, they differ in one area greatly. Their lungs have a sort of additional glan, which I believe stores the particles that emit from this particular flower. If they spend too much time without it, their lungs would collapse.”

   “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

   He arched a brow up at you. “While their lungs have the ability to filter and store the particles from this flower, our lungs do not have the gland necessary to do the same. If we breathe too much of it, it enters directly into our bloodstream and triggers a response from the central nervous system, specifically the hypothalamus.”

   “English, please.”

   “The hormone control center,” he replied. “It governs desires, lubrication, and arousal.”

   Your brows shot up above your eyes. That certainly explained why Dr Smith had been looking at you the way he had back on the planet. “Azile mentioned something about it being how they’re able to procreate.”

   “Fascinating,” he mumbled to himself. “I wonder if any of them would be willing to stay and provide additional data for me to study.”

   “You mean become your lab rat?”

   He narrowed his eyes. “I wouldn't put it so crudely, Captain. I’m sure the UWG would be delighted to know more about this new species as much as I would.”

   “Maybe you could ask them if they’ve done any research themselves then,” you replied. “I’m sure they don’t differ very much from humans in that regard.”

   His upper lip curled briefly into a snarl that was gone before it even fully formed. “I suppose that would suffice. In the meantime,” he turned back to the flower and began to try and remove the bud, “I can continue to run tests on this sample to determine what else it may be —”

   A small poof of pollen floated into the air as the bulb was removed, wafting under his nose and causing him to sneeze several times. He screwed his eyes shut and quickly shook his head before he moved it onto a petri dish. 

   “What else it may be capable of,” he said, sniffling once. 

   “Alright then,” you answered, a slight dizzy spell coming over you as the pollen particles drifted toward where you were standing. You took a breath to steady yourself just before a shiver ran over your frame, heat building beneath your collar.

   Your mind kept telling you to go back to the bridge, but your feet would not cooperate, keeping you planted in place as the heat beneath your collar spread to your chest. Your nipples hardened under your uniform as Dr Smith turned to face you with that look in his eyes again.

   “What is it?” you asked as a tingle began to bloom inside you. Your heart pounded in your ears, drowning out much of anything happening outside the lab, and air thickened around you.

   “Captain,” he said breathlessly, taking a few cautious steps toward you. “It seems as though I’ve… inhaled the pollen. Perhaps it’s best that you return to the bridge for the time being.”

   “I can’t.”

   “You…”

   “I think I may have breathed some in, too,” you replied, your voice nearly unrecognizable. 

   As much as you had managed to ignore your attraction to him before, now it was all you could see. The contrast between the brightness of his eyes and the darkness of his closely cropped hair, and the way his goatee framed his lips made you still. As he took another couple of steps toward you, your heart quickened, a flutter of what must have been butterfly’s wings blooming in your belly. Despite your attempts to avoid doing so, your eyes lowered to drink him in, pausing when they fell below his belt at the bulge that was forming there.

   “I insist that you go back to the bridge,” he said, his voice a bit more husky than before. His eyes still lingered on your body as he continued to move toward you, and he slowly licked his lips as he came to stand toe to toe with you, swallowing thickly. “Immediately, before I… Well, I’m just not entirely sure that I’m able to control myself at the moment.”

   Your chest was visibly rising and falling with every deep breath that you took. “I’m not sure it’s the best idea for me to be around other crew members while under the influence of this…” His scent suddenly overpowered your sensibilities, drawing you closer to him until your chest and his were but a hair's breadth apart. “How do we fix this, Doctor?”

   His gaze flickered down to your lips, the pulse in his neck throbbing visibly. “Well, considering that these particles are what allow the Copulians to procreate, I might hypothesize that coitus would remedy the effects.”

   “So if we were to fuck, we’d be back to normal,” you replied, the heat beneath your collar slowly beginning to cool.

   “That or… we simply wait until our bodies burn it off. For you that may be only a few moments. I, unfortunately, inhaled quite a bit more than I did while we were rescuing the Copulians. It may therefore remain in my system for a longer period.”

   You could feel the overwhelming lust leaving your system, still a small amount lingered, stoking the fire in the pit of your stomach that burned hotter with every moment that passed. You realized that although you always pretended otherwise, your attraction for the doctor was beginning to seep through, clouding the annoyance you harbored for him. His eyes really were breathtaking. If he hadn’t been such an arrogant prick, you might’ve slept with him a long time ago.

   “Well, I can’t exactly leave you in this state,” you said, the butterfly wings in your belly still fluttering insistently. It might’ve been the pollen particles that had broken through your stubbornness, but now that your attraction to him had tasted oxygen, it refused to be put back into a box.

   “Well then… perhaps… won’t you help me? Please?” His hands were balled into fists and seemed to be resisting the urge he had to touch you.

   As the corner of your lips curled up on one side, you broke the touch barrier, winding your arms around his neck and bringing him flush against you and your lips pressed to his. He moaned into your kiss, his large hands holding you to him by the waist as he tilted his head and pushed you up against the wall behind you. You could feel his erection pressed hard against your hip and arched your lower back to push back against it while your hands busied themselves with unzipping the front of his jacket. 

“There’s no bed in the lab,” he mumbled against your lips.

   “Who cares? Just fuck me, Doc,” you answered, pushing his jacket off his shoulders and tugging on his shirt next.

   He seemed just as desperate to rid you of your clothes and a few flurried moments later, you were both topless, with your pants down to your knees. His head dipped to encase a hard nipple in his mouth, one hand massaging the other between two fingers. Groaning, you arched toward him, one hand holding his head to your chest while the other slowly reached between you to wrap your hand around his erection.

   Turning you to face the wall, he reached between your legs and groaned against your neck when he felt your slippery folds.

   “Fuck!” he hissed against your neck.

   “Yes, Doctor,” you groaned, rocking back against his hot erection. “Please.”

   You whimpered when his fingers left you, gasping loudly when you felt the head of his cock sliding through your slit, looking for your entrance. Mewling when he pressed against it, you held your breath as he pushed into you, moaning in an exhale as he slid fully inside. He groaned when his hips met your ass, leaning against you until his lips brushed over your ear.

   “Call me Zachary,” he whispered.

   “Oh Zachary,” you sighed as he pulled back slowly before pushing back in.

   He groaned in your ear, his hips building up to a steady pace while his hands moved to grab your hips, pulling you to him. His hips clapped against your ass, growing louder and louder as his thrusts became more insistent, demanding. This wasn’t about exploring the undeniable attraction between the two of you, this was about getting off, as quickly as possible. 

   The thought made your muscles tighten around him as a tingle swelled between your legs. You moaned helplessly, the side of your face slowly leaning against the wall in front of you as your eyes closed and your hips arched back. The cold, solid surface on your cheek did little to cool your burning skin, and sent a shiver down to your nipples. Fingers curling against the wall, you scratched against the surface as your breaths fell in time with each snap of his hips. His thick cock stimulated every inch of your tunnel, exciting the various nerve endings and driving you toward an orgasm quicker than you anticipated. Your walls pulsing around him again, you whined as he sunk all the way inside you, pressing forward until your hips moved toward the wall. You tried to spread your feet further apart, but your pants — still around knees — wouldn’t allow it, making the ache in your pussy build more.

   “Captain, you feel so good,” he purred in your ear, earning another moan from you.

   “Y/N,” you replied weakly, tilting your head toward his. “You need to hurry, I have to get back to the bridge.”

   He groaned in his throat as his hands slid up your ribcage to massage your breasts. “I would love nothing more than to take my sweet time with you, Y/N.”

   He gently pinched and twisted your nipples as he nibbled on your earlobe, his hips grinding against your ass.

   “Later,” you answered, trying to rock your hips back against him.

   Grunting in your ear, he moved his hands back to your waist, using his leverage to move you hard and fast on him. The new pace sparked more nerve endings inside you, quickly building you up toward the edge as a firm, staccato clap joined the sounds of heavy breathing and throaty moans. Flattening your hands on the wall, you tried to keep yourself in place, hoping that in doing so it would allow for his thrusts to hit you harder and send you over the edge. The tingles that had spread to your clit finally reached its peak, and you held your breath in anticipation. 

   One of his hands left your waist and found your hardened nub, rubbing tight circles over it. You gasped, your muscles throbbing with the orgasm that washed over you. 

   “Oh yes, Y/N!” he groaned, quickening his pace and following you into release. 

   He thrust through his orgasm, continuing to stimulate both of you as your tunnel milked his cock. With one final push all the way to the hilt, he panted against your ear, his fingers still on your clit while his erection kept his spend inside you. Your pussy still hugged him, as if trying to squeeze every last drop out of him. If it had been up to you, you would’ve stayed exactly as you were, pressed against each other with his long, thick cock deep inside you for much longer. But after a few blissful moments of riding the aftershocks of release, reality began to set back in. Your muscles squeezed him defiantly at the thought of you needing to get back to work.

   Opening your eyes, you savored the feeling of him filling you completely a bit longer before whispering, “I should get back to the bridge.”

   He nodded against your shoulder, his heavy breaths warm against your skin as his finger grazed your clit one last time, earning a gasp. His cock slowly retreated, making you whimper at the loss as your muscles engaged, trying to keep his release inside you while you bent slightly to pull your pants back up. Turning toward him as you both got redressed, you stared at each other, still catching your respective breaths. Where before, the sight of him annoyed you to no end, now you wanted nothing more than to spend the next several hours mapping the span of his body, of which you’d only seen so much of.

   “Obviously, you’re not to breathe a word of this to anyone, Doctor,” you said, trying to regain some semblance of authority.

   The smirk that appeared on his lips didn’t help. “Of course, Captain.”

   “And use a mask if you’re going to continue running tests on that flower,” you added, tugging at the hem of your jacket after you’d zipped it up.

   “Yes, certainly,” he replied with a single nod. 

   You turned to leave the lab when he stopped you with a hand on your elbow.

   “Um…”

   Turning back to face him, he stepped up to you and pulled you into a firm kiss, humming against your lips before he pulled his head back to look at you.

   “Permission to visit your quarters this evening, Captain?”

   You arched a brow though it did little hide the lust in your eyes. Swallowing thickly, you gave a curt nod and cleared your throat. “That would be fine if you prefer to give me the latest update on your testing, Doct—”

   “Oh come off it, Y/N,” he interrupted gently, the backs of his fingers sliding against your cheek affectionately. “I know you felt what I felt just then. I want you again without having the need to rush.” His fingers grazed down your neck, his eyes following the movements before coming back to look into yours. There was a warmth in them that you never imagined you would see in Dr Zachary Smith, and yet there it was, gentle and sincere.

   Not knowing what to say, you rocked forward and kissed him, humming against his lips when he cradled your face in both hands and kissed you back. Reluctantly pulling away, you silently nodded.

   You took a small step back, breaking your contact. “I’ll see you tonight then.”

   “Yes, Captain,” he answered, one corner of his lips slightly curled up.

   You turned and left the lab, running a hand through your hair as you made your way back to the bridge. When you were back sitting in the Captain's chair was when you felt the evidence of what had just happened dripping onto the seat of your panties, and you smiled to yourself.

*request from this NSFW prompt list