#and GETTING FUCKING AUDITED (not me a client)

[scary-senpai]

So I was working on a little something for @wanpanmas...

What you must understand about me, is that I can never be normal about anything, ever.

Anyway, the prompt was supposed to be hot chocolate.

"What force, what brutality!" "Her power is surely on par with Tatsumaki's." "Thank God she can only manipulate desserts."

From the safety of HA Headquarters, Sitch and Sekinger surveyed the skirmish from every possible angle as it streamed across multiple televisions screens.

High up in the summits, the battle raged on—between the battered, beleagured heroes and the behemoth Swiss Maid that had somehow achieved sentience, and was now intent to wreck havoc across the snow-crested alps of K-City.

With a blood-curdling cry and a shake of her pigtails, the Swiss Miss dug her claws into the earth, ripped up a stretch of topsoil and began to wrap the earth around itself, layer by layer—as if storing a yoga mat, or a fruit rollup of some sort. Tanks, armored cars, entire infantry divisions—all abruptly squished together and immobalized like so much cream filling.

"A Swiss roll attack," Sekinger said. "We should have guessed."

"Metal Bat. Garou. Come in," Sitch spoke frantically into his ear piece. "Are you still there?"

"We're still here." Badd's voice came through, but barely. "We got lucky."

Garou's connection wasn't much better. "How's the backup situation?"

"I'll have to check." Sitch's assistant switched the video feed—bad news, all of it. Every city was beset by its own mascot disaster:

- Q City: Overrun by malevolent Tropicana Oranges. Watchdog Man, trapped in an endless game of fetch.

- A City: Plagued by Coca Cola Polar Bears. Zombieman was rapidly losing limbs.

- In Smelly Lid Prison, the Kool-Aid Man barrelled through wall after wall of reinforced concrete. Most of the prisoners had been freed, but Puri Puri had been buried under several cartloads of rubble.

Sekinger and Sitch looked at each other grimly. Their silence spoke volumes.

"Don't everybody answer at once." Garou's disdain was evident.

"And what about Caped Baldy, huh? What's he up to?"

Sitch cleared his throat. "We don't know. Nobody can reach him."

.......

While the K-City Alps were in shambles, the city below was fine.

Shielded from the fracas by several picturesque mountain ranges, the citizens went about their normal holiday preparations—stringing lights, decorating trees, and exploring the scenic Christmas Market that had popped up in the City Square.

As always, the line for hot chocolate snaked halfway across the block. It wasn't Saitama's idea of a good time, but Genos finally had a day off, and this is what Genos wanted to do with it. So Saitama had tagged along, for support.

Besides, it was nice to see the kid get excited about something other than murder, for once.

Saitama switched his phone to "silent" and mentally prepared himself for another lecture on wave machines.

"Wave mechanics," Genos corrected. "The Hot Chocolate effect is a phenomena of wave mechanics wherein—"

"—face it, Gen. It's a cool idea but that chocolate's never getting out of the swimming pool. It's way too sticky to put in a wave machine.”

"…indeed." Genos deferred to his sensei with a polite nod, and then gently changed the subject to something more accessible.

"Thank you for accompanying me today, Sensei. Are you sure that the Hero Association does not require your presence? They are often short-staffed during the holidays."

"Oh yeah," Saitama said, checking his pager. "I'm getting all these messages about the Swiss Miss. Isn't she supposed to be neutral?"

"Switzerland is a famously neutral entity," Genos confirmed. "Perhaps they refer to the Swiss Guard."

"That would explain why they’re Threat Level God,” Saitama murmured. “Well. I’m sure the Pope can handle it.”

Saitama promptly slipped his phone back into his pocket and went back to thinking about chocolate swimming pools.

[to be continued]

---

Author's note:

Maybe one day I'll write a fic without footnotes, but today is not that day.

The Hot Chocolate Effect

The Swiss Guard

[ubiquitousdoctorstrangelove]

A MASSIVE assortment of the various clown looks I did throughout 2014, starting after I auditioned for Barnum and Bailey. By this point I had been doing clown for a few years (and been interested for MUCH longer without pursuing it), but it wasn't until Barnum and Bailey put out that casting call that I really considered doing it professionally. When I auditioned I originally wanted to apply as a fire dancer, however they told me they were only auditioning clowns, so I took 3 seconds to think about it and was like "Fuck it, let's do this" I landed the gig, and they told me they'd call me in 2 months to let me know when and where I'd meet the train to join up and go to their clown school. I spent those two months learning everything I didn't already know about being a circus clown; I practiced acrobatics and pantomime, I learned balloon twisting, face painting, and the Barnum and Bailey style makeup methods, I picked up juggling on top of my other object manipulation, and I really spent just about 24/7 doing everything I could to be prepared when the time came around. But after two months I still hadn't heard anything back, and I started calling and trying to figure out what was up- Then I emailed my auditioner, and it bounced back as an invalid email. I was a bit devastated thinking that I had been passed up, however as it turned out they had been having financial issues and the auditions I went to as a whole amounted to nothing, for any of us, as Barnum had decided they couldn't afford to train and hire new clowns as they were on the decline. So, instead of taking this as some devastating news and issue, I decided to look at everything I'd learned and just go for it Solo, as a party clown and balloon artist- I was already doing parties as a firedancer, so this was really just an expansion, and now I was doing it all as a clown! It wasn't long after this decision that I landed on the name The Ubiquitous Dr Strangelove, and stepped away from the joke name Kato The Clown that I had previously been using, and things just went crazy from there. __________ Some notes regarding clowning as it pertains to the looks I did this year: First off, the Rainbow Afro (Images #10 and 11 in this post)- As I said in an earlier post I had to get this wig for a client who specifically requested it. I did not know yet that the wig was problematic or the history of racism and bigotry that the wig represents- I went into much more detail about this already, but you can never belabor the point when it comes to these things, and just like I wasn't aware then many new clowns today are also unaware; But these wigs tie themselves directly to the early 1900s Minstrel Shows, and were integrated into clowning and color changed from black to rainbow to be more appealing to younger audiences- They then blew up and became the Status Quo in clowning with people forgetting the history.

Never forget the history, be aware of it, and show respect to the marginalized peoples that early- and mid-century clown culture was mocking and dehumanizing by just not fucking doing it. The Black/White split face (Images #19-20 in this post)- This one isn't necessarily a problematic look, in my opinion- but I don't really think MY opinion is the important one. I originally did this look as a means to represent the idea of Dichotomy through my clown, and the longer this look is in my history the more gross I feel about it. No one has ever reprimanded me about it, however it is a bit too close to blackface for my liking and current sensibilities- and I would urge ANY clown who wishes to do a similar look to keep that in mind, as Blackface is a massively problematic stain on the history of clowning, that also comes from the Minstrel Show culture stated above. It was never my intention to represent this look as blackface, and anyone looking at it can probably see that- but that doesn't mean the parallels aren't there or that it isn't an issue that I treaded into.

Brown Clown #2 (image #24 in this set) - At first glance this image probably doesn't seem problematic and my intentions behind it were actually aimed at supporting marginalized groups- but just like the split-face look, the longer it's in my history the more problematic I feel like it is. This look was what I decided on for a Thanksgiving party I was hired for. Being someone who has NEVER celebrated thanksgiving, and who stands with the Native American tribes and sentiments, and opposes the ideas of colonialism and genocide, I wanted to do a look for this event that honored Native American cultures- and so I went into the vaults and referenced a spiritual figure from the Sioux and Great Plains tribes known as Heyoka. Heyoka is known to us White Folks as a Sacred Clown, and I have loved and respected the stories of Heyoka most of my life- however as a white dude who is not part of those cultures and who does not know enough about the implications of this figure within them, this look was an ill-advised attempt at honoring Heyoka and Native Americans. And not least of all because I had no way of actually speaking on these topics as I wore the look, to actually spread awareness and combat the mindsets of White America that makes them to this day still take MASSIVE issue with only bad-mouthing Thanksgiving or Columbus.

What I have learned since then is that in general, your clown should never represent a race or spiritual figure within a culture or closed practice, and that even while the intention behind it may have been admirable it is still problematic of me to have done. But, you learn and you grow, and the only thing you can do is try to pass on what you've learned through mistakes you've made.

[mpregeminem]

I READ THE ANGEL KAMES FIC …. ough 😭 such a shame it’s unfinished. the fact that all of that went on in the span of 5 days kinda blew my mind like you’re telling me 100k+ words and it hasn’t even been a week? this is the slowest burn to ever burn. anyways do you have anymore fic recs 🫶

HI HIIII im so glad you like it yessssss!!!!!! and literally the way they make you wait saur long for them to even like eachother in any capacity had me climbing the walls that night...... and the WINGS bro......bro what if i wanted you to keep me safe and warm in a cocoon of your own flesh forever.. haha i mean-

and i doooo :) i've been saving this ask because i wanted to do a thorough list from my laptop, but i'll rec some of my favorites so far right now, and maybe some i've been meaning to read, but haven't yet

i have read and rec:

We could take it to the highway by skyline

kendall has to go back to minnesota and james offers to travel with him through the states. REALLY nice i loved skyline's writing and depiction of the boys' inner struggles. very grounded to the show's pillars and their dynamic really hit with me. i rec this to everyone who will listen because i liked it a lot lol <3

How to stop a haunting also by skyline

supernatural universe kames baybayyy. honestly all of skyline's works are so worth it, i still have a few of theirs to read but i strongly recommend the author in general (i rec more fics of their below but there's way more, i don't want to make the list too long hehe)

Lost without you by mintrosy

ANOTHER instant fav author. the guys suffer a shipwreck and kendall gets badly hurt. and they have to cauterize the wound and so on. very nice and sweet despite that description i just gave skdjsh

mintrosy also has a kames omegaverse series, lost bets (porn lol, kendall in lacy and james going apeshit), Sharing is caring, Dude (short and sweet fic about the four of them sharing outfits <3). honestly they have a tonn of fics so you can go to their profile and go bananas

Never did run smooth by ItsyRoyal

the first btr fic i read this year i think? so it has a special place in my heart <3 pinning kendall and oblivious james, very in-canon

Patrón on ice by skyline

james/camille/kendall because jamille is my guilty pleasure lol. very funny, james has a date with two beauts and doesn't know what to do with himself.

now for fics i haven't read yet but intend to:

Sweet people by xAnimaniac (50k words)

Kendall is a lawyer, always determined to stick to business. And even after losing his husband three years ago, he's not looking for any kind of relationship. Then he meets his new client James, who is a druggie accused of murder, rude and flirty and absolutely everything Kendall never thought he'd be into. So why does he like him so much?

I tell you I'm lost here (awaiting reply) by jaded_jane (30k words)

Gustavo allows James a second attempt at an audition and offers to make him a star when he likes what he hears. James jumps at the chance, and once he's gone to L.A., Kendall's left to hold everything and everyone together. As days go by, Kendall forces James a little further back in his mind, especially as contact goes from limited to non-existent and promises aren't kept. It's only then that Kendall realizes that the people he loves, leave him and never look back.

It's so hard to breathe by skyline (11k words)

“So you let Dak Zevon fuck you,” James says, and this time he doesn’t bother amending his word choice. “Interesting decision.”

right now im rummaging through EpicallyObsessed's ffn page but haven't read anything yet. they have a looot of long kames fics, mostly AUs.

Same with RainbowDiamonds, the author of the angel kames fic in question <3

hope this helps!! if you want let me know if you end up reading any of these ♥️

[runningfrom2am]

all my ghosts - (d.s)

an ‘on the one screen in my town’ oneshot

summary: drew gets cast as the love interest in mason's newest music video.

this is set after 'kinda famous' but before the rest of the plot! this was also a request from @winterrrnight and i cannot disappoint my girl duh

watch the mv i based this on here!

wc: 1.2k

tags/warnings: none!! unedited?? intentional use of lowercase?? also a heads up that i did not come up with this song any of the lyrics or the music video!! all credits go to the original artist and her team (lizzy macalpine!)

requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)

nav/masterlists

series masterlist

"do you know who they casted yet?" este asks, brushing back mason's hair away from her eyes to pull it up in to a messy bun for the opening shots.

"no, no clue." mason replies, watching her friend in the mirror and trying to stay as still as possible.

"don't you get to make these decisions?" este laughs, throwing the bun loosely into a scrunchy and reaching for her bobby pins to secure it.

"nope." mason giggles. "but i trust my team. i just said someone who gives kind of a 'boy next door' vibe but in a very relaxed way, who's taller than me, and doesn't look like he's forty."

"jeez, lower your standards." este chuckles, shaking her head. "i'm sure they found the perfect person. it'll be so, so good."

"i'm a little nervous." mason admits. "it's my first single after the last album, after the breakup- i don't want to disappoint anyone. you know?"

"i get it." este nods. "but this song is amazing, the video will do it justice. i know it." she assures her friend, leaning down to get a better look at her hair in the mirror. "i think you're ready! just don't throw your hair around too much. it takes a lot to perfect a messy bun."

mason smiles and turns her head to look at her makeup and hair, grinning in satisfaction. the bags under her eyes were emphasized and her brows darkened, but the rest of the makeup was meant to look very minimal. "i'll be careful." she assures her friend, standing up and stretching out.

"mason! we're ready for you." one of the producers is sticking her head in the door of the trailer, and the star quickly adjusts her costume, sweat shorts and a tank top before following her out, waving goodbye to her best friend who is already getting ready for her next client; mason's costar.

mason goes out and shoots a couple casual shots, walking into the corner store and browsing at a few different aisles and coolers. they don't know what will make the final cut just yet, but they'll gather an array of footage just in case.

"okay, we're going to get you guys together now, just act natural, have a look around and be very casual but definitely make it your own. it'll make it real- but we can always try again." the director says and mason nods, looking past her as the bell on the door rings and they bring in her costar.

mason stands on her top toes to look over the shelves in front of her, and smiles wide when she sees who they had casted. "drew! hi!" she grins, quickly making her way over and dodging cameras and mic's to give him a hug.

"hey, mason." drew smiles, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"oh my god!" she laughs, quickly pulling away. "i didn't even know you auditioned!"

"well, i thought i wouldn't tell you until i got it. it would be embarrassing if i didn't, hey?" drew chuckled. "and then i figured i'd just see you here."

"of course you would get it, are you joking?" mason smiles, hugging him quickly again. "i'm really glad you're here. this will be fun."

"it sounds like it." drew nods, that ever lovely smirk present on his lips.

"basically, we're just fucking around and they're filming it. minimal acting required." mason shrugs as drew slips an arm over her shoulders.

"perfect- let's do this." he nods, quickly pressing a kiss to the side of her head before moving away.

"okay we're ready." the director says, grabbing their attention. "whenever you guys are, just act like we're not here."

"somehow that makes the pressure worse." mason giggles, shaking her head slightly and avoiding eye contact with him now.

"you know all the words, right?" drew asks, a teasing smirk on his face as they walk down the aisle, followed behind and ahead of them by cameras at different angles.

mason gasps, gently shoving him. "how dare you! i wrote every word myself. of course i know them." she giggles.

"okay, well, what's it about?" he asks, grabbing something random off the shelf and turning it over in his hand for just a moment before returning it to its spot.

"you haven't heard it? ouch."

"of course i've heard it. i just want to hear it from you."

"okay," mason nods, continuing to walk beside him slowly as she thinks it over. "it's about falling in love again after being heartbroken, i guess. like, everyone has something that has happened to them in their lives that kind of... haunts them. that they can't let go of, but you can grow around whatever happened and be happy again."

"i see." drew nods. "i get that feeling. it's an amazing song, by the way."

"thank you." mason says, pride evident in her voice along with a slight nod.

it only took a couple of days to shoot the whole thing, most of it just pulling random clips of drew and mason talking and giggling outside of the clips she filmed herself, dancing and singing to the lyrics of her own song.

the last one they filmed together had been the wedding scene, and drew was smiling like an idiot the whole time. the finalized clip only lasted a few seconds, but as he looked her up and down in the white dress, something in him had changed. usually acting to him was no big deal, he could compartmentalize himself from his characters, but this shoot had been entirely different with the producers pushing on them over and over to just 'be themselves'.

"okay! that's a wrap for drew." the producer called as they cut the cameras, the two of them standing face to face at the front of the church.

"thank you so much." mason smiles, reaching around him with the bouquet in hand to give him a hug.

he gladly returned it, gently rubbing her back. "thank you for having me. this was so fun."

"anytime! seriously." mason says, pulling back from the hug after a moment. she's in a bit of a rush to get out of this slightly itchy wedding dress, so she's already stepping down off the small preachers stage.

"hey, wait," drew calls after her, following on her heels as she turns to look at him. "are you free this weekend? to grab lunch or something?"

mason is taken a little by surprise at this, pausing in her step toward the costume tent. "i.. yeah! i would like that. maybe not this weekend, but i'll call you, yeah?"

"okay, yeah. whatever works for you." drew nods, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress pants.

mason's cheeks are flushed as she looks up at him. "sweet. okay. i've got to get going, but i'll see you soon."

"yeah, see you soon." drew smiles, shifting his weight back onto his heels.

he lets her go, walking the rest of the way down the aisle dressed fully as if she was getting married today. he's quick to lift his hands and rub his palms over his face when he encounters the thought that one day he'd like to see her like this again, be marrying her for real. is he crazy? god, he hopes he isn't crazy.

as she passes off the bouquet to the prop girl, giving her a polite and grateful smile, drew knows he can't wait to see mason again. whatever that may take.

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @alimaythings, @chenslucy, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @suzyheartsrafe, @maybankslover, @redhead1180, @lovelyxtommy, @thelomlisrafecameron, @realwifeofjackharlow

[transparentlyfallingasleep]

7. How do you choose which POV to write from? (Especially for starbucks)

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

aw wow! People never ask me questions on here.

let’s see number 7. Honestly I tried to come up with a better answer than this but it’s just the vibe of the thing. The first story was really just a response to “Clint Barton shows up 15 minutes late with Starbucks” insert Troy with the pizza meme that was out in the ether post his absence in Winter Soldier. I decided to try making myself write from Natasha’s perspective after the Clint heaviness in marketplace etc but in the Starbucks sequel I just wanted to imagine/ write down the Robert Downey jr voice in my head reacting to spy kid 3D. And then they all joined in. Clint’s voice is my most comfortable place to be Natasha, Cap, Maria, Jarvis the least but I think that’s because being that fucking competent seems heptapod level alien.

25: I wish people read unfinished business more… it was my first story in the marvel space and my second fanfic ever. And I still kinda like imagining it’s running in the background of the avengers… and it could have too if not for that pesky Joss Whedon. I also I’m proud of my Game of thrones fic. It was an attempt to self sooth and I think it turned out rather well all things considered.

26. I’m not sure I do wild rides I’m definitely not much of a plot writer. I tend to focus on small intimate character moments. Probably because I suck even more at the other stuff, possibly because being a speech pathologist I’m better at getting voices of characters ‘right’ than I am at making things happen. But I am proud at how I salvaged age of ultron for the rewriting in Market Place and how much I was able to reuse, reduce, recycle might be surprising to readers.

39. So my clinic shut down suddenly in September. If you are Australian I will just say this about it. The NDIS and in particular the Government have been making it harder and harder to work as a paediatric disability clinician and hell bent on telling our clients that it’s because we are rorting the system. I didn’t want my clients to loose their therapeutic alliance and a speechie that has known them most of their lives so I started my own sole trading. It’s long hours, crazy stress and I don’t even know if I will be able to afford the audit come 2025 but for now my kiddos are safe and getting therapy. All the govt has managed to do is privatise the old block grant system and lie about choice and control and that’s all I have to say about that. As a result I’ve got no real WIPs but I have this… you can see that I write dialogue first.

If you’ve come to tell me I’ve besmirched my honour, that the castle is in an uproar… I care not. 

Your grace. 

Ser Davos I am no princess. 

The laws of the realm say

So Tyrion Lannister crowns my brother and frees the north for my sister and now I am smothered by titles? I knew I should have killed that-

Id never really thought about it like that Milady. Allow an old man a small courtesy? I accepted my title for services to Stannis Baratheon. Plenty of times I thought better of it but I did it for those who came after me. Lord Gendry well he doesn’t say, quiet sort that he is -

Surly 

As you say, but i think I’m right in saying he had similar thoughts. I don’t think either of us thought that there might be others on the other side of it. Born to the titles and the power and wanting none of it, wanting to be rid of it. 

He is a good lad lady Arya. Give him longer. He can’t stay this angry for long. 

I can’t stay ser Davos

Forgive me but I’ve lived longer on decking than I have on dry land or had till your brother made me hand. The tides they come again. Like circles they are. Why not tarry even if he’s determined to make himself unpleasant. 

He doesn’t have to put effort into that. He’s had it mastered for years. You are married Ser, children? 

Aye My Lady

[robinruns]

I'm going to fucking scream.

I out of the goodness of my heart volunteered to come in a bit this weekend to help get things caught up at work. I spent 4 hours on Saturday morning getting things updated because the auditing team is so behind that the files are basically rotting on the vine so to speak. What thanks do I get for it?

"Why havent you processed any apps this week?!"

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET THESE OLD FILES OUT WHICH YOU SAID WAS THE FUCKING PRIORITY!!!! DO YOU THINK PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY RESPOND TO MY EVERY EMAIL?! NO!!! I HAVE TO FOLLOW UP MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!

Now I've got clients yelling at me while I'm trying to get things updated because of how long its taking. "Explain to the doctor why it took you so long to do this file." IT DIDN'T!!!! ALSO I DIDN'T DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, THE LADY WHO DID GOT FIRED!!!!!

And then my boss is sending multiple emails "trying to understand what's going on" oh my god I'm gonna scream and/or cry YOURE DISTRACTING ME THATS WHATS GOING ON!!!!!!!

And my mom is texting me about my cousin and her phone and potato salad and the intense overwhelm I felt last night is back and I hate it oh my god I hate it

[jamiesfootball]

was really expecting that leverage au idea to go a different direction & was honestly pleasantly surprised by the jamie + zava positioning. but i thought i'd share what i thought was going to happen!

roy's getting old, so the rest of the current team is trying to find sort of an apprentice for him to train to be their new hitter and then he can eventually take over for ted as mastermind when ted magically gets suspicion off of him and can go back home to be with henry.

they find jamie. and they're like this guy is perfect. he's got that doggedness that you have roy. you could kill him and he'd still get up and kick your ass. he's perfect. and roy's like no he's a fucking prick. he can't do this job, he's only good for the old shit i was doing. he doesn't fit with this team, he's too volatile and he doesn't think with his heart. so they let him go on his not-so-merry way, but ted and beard keep an eye on him and keeley also keeps an entirely separate, secret third eye on him.

[nebulous in between times]

they get jamie back and roy starts training him, and while roy is still not fully warmed up to him is when jamie almost ruins a job by taking time out to Solve some random kid's Problem dad.

idk who would be hacker in this case though. but nate (shelley) is sterling lol.

*Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins*

See yes yes- I also began this idea thinking like, well if Roy is the Eliot stand in (and obviously like who else would he be), then Jamie would make the perfect sense as the Quinn. The up-and-comer bruiser who thinks he can take on The Roy Kent. He does well when he catches Roy off guard at first but then we have the iconic Quinn line-

“Why won’t you go down?!”

So yes I started there but then it occurred to me: the sass, the clothing, the obnoxious quality to talk at length, the younger guy who looks at Roy in a ‘no really are you an antique?” way. The one who can’t believe the cops are using cassette tapes for surveillance. The one who is casually charming and makes friends and enemies whenever he’s undercover. The one who lied about stealing Roy’s sandwich and feels no shame (it was a damn good sandwich).

(“D-E-D dead baby.” “D-e-a-d.” “I know how it’s spelled. I can hack a bank, I can spell ‘dead.’”)

It’s Jamie.

But the BUTTER ON THE BREAD THE THING THAT SEALED THE DEAL FOR ME IS THAT THIS MEANS JAMIE WOULD GET TO RUN THE BRIEFINGS. IN THAT ACCENT. WITH HIS UNIQUE BRAND OF TALKING.

“Now our client’s ex is this posh twat named Danthony. He’s worth eleventy billion dollars and his taste in classic cars is a fucking joke. The good news is his shell companies are messier than Roy’s chest hair, so it wan’t hard to find where he stashed the money. I also found some embarrassing footage from when he auditioned for Love Island *plays video* it was not fire.”

[v-the-nomad]

Holy fucking chrome, chica!

I just had a face-to-face with the one and only Dexter DeShawn. Can you believe it? My head's still spinning like a malfunctioning cyberware. It was nice. Surreal, but nice. Right now, I'm riding a high that makes Black Lace feel like kiddie candy.

Dex is… well, he's Dex. Smooth as synth-silk and cooler than a Militech cryo-unit. Just being in his ride felt like my street cred doubled. But don't worry, chica, I ain't lost my edge. Dex might be offering us the world, but he's still putting us through our paces.

First up, we've gotta deal with Maelstrom. You know, those chrome-crazy gonks who look like they're auditioning for "Adam Smasher: The Early Years." We're supposed to snag some military hardware from them - a bot, to be specific. Sounds simple enough, right? But here's the kicker - if we pull this off, Dex wants me to meet the client. Me, Persia. And not some random middleman, but the actual, flesh and bones, client.

You getting what I'm laying down here? This isn't just some run-of-the-mill gig. This is our ticket to the big leagues. One small step for V, one giant leap for nomad-kind, or some shit like that.

Jackie's already out there, sniffing around Maelstrom territory like a bloodhound on a scent. Me? I've got a date with a Militech agent. And chica, this might just be our golden ticket. This agent? She's pure corpo, Persia. All clean-cut suit and sharp edges. Haven't met her in person yet, but even from the brief pic I've seen, you can practically smell the ambition and corpo stink. But here's the real juice - she's been chasing a ghost for weeks. A whole Militech convoy, poof, gone without a trace. And guess who's got the missing goods? Our chrome-dome amigos in Maelstrom.

Now, Militech's still in the dark about their missing toys, and this agent? She's getting desperate. Weeks of searching with not even an enny to show for it. And you know me, Persia. I can smell an opportunity like a scav can smell fresh chrome. I'm thinking we can cut a deal - we feed her some intel on her precious convoy, and in return, she greases the wheels for us to snag that military-grade bot Dex is after. Two birds, one stone, and a whole lotta eddies.

It's a delicate dance, sure. Corpo types always are. But if we play this right, this buttoned-up Militech suit will be putty in our hands. We could come out of this smelling like roses and swimming in cred.

I can feel it, almost taste it, Persia. The eddies, the respect, the power. Night City's about to learn that us nomads aren't just dust and tumbleweeds. We're the fucking storm. Hear me roar.

delta and out, V

[intosnarkness]

So IDK if any of you are interested, but I felt the need to write a sort of DVD commentary for Adding on Weight talking about easter eggs and inspirations.

General

Working title was "Die a Boring Death" but I decided that it didn't make sense past chapter 5.

I spent a lot of time trying to find something about longing, about wanting someone to want something. About wanting to be wanted, or wanting in general. I never found it and I'm not sure I like the title I landed on. 

(The song after the chapter is where the title is from.)

Chapter 1: Dial Drunk, Noah Kahan

I moved the timeline of the book because I wanted everyone to have more time to feel consequences. Kaz gets happy years before he gets imprisoned. Matthias is in Hellgate for longer. Everyone has a long enough time to actually work through the grief because I don't have to write YA where they're 17 years old.

Sir was originally 2 characters; a heavy and a talky guy. By the time I got to chapter 5 and knew what was going to happen when Kaz escaped, I knew I had to cut them to one. So we lost the talky guy and Sir just became more odious.

Kaz eats an apple because this is his Kobyashi Maru

The assignment was originally to wipe out the principal of the debt. Once I did math, that wasn't going to be near enough of an impetus.

The chef Kaz works for is named Kooken, which is just the Dutch word for "cook"

Chapter 2: Afraid of Heights, boygenuis

The party was not the original idea here, at the point of writing this chapter I didn't have the inciting crime totally figured out (originally Jordie just lost money he was carrying, but that wasn't good enough later to imprison and brutalize Kaz) and so I had this idea that he'd been breaking into the office of the brothel and doing like… audits that got him attention. And Pekka was going to send him to a Mercher's home to get their financial information. I scrapped that when I decided Pekka was going to be our major villain.

The entire point of this chapter was to get Kaz in eyeliner

No actually, the idea of Kaz being forced to sit on Pekka's lap and count cards came extremely early in the process, as did the idea of it being where Inej sees the potential. Originally she was going to be a Dreg lieutenant but I didn't want to have to deal with Per Haskell, so I gave her a gang of her own.

The tattoo knife thing would absolutely not work in reality. 

Card counting is not that reliable. 

The tray of glasses was a very late addition to the story, but I fell in love with the idea of Kaz having glass stuck in him that no one will help him with but Nina.

I always think the trope of a person sitting in the shadows waiting for another person is ridiculous because it implies that they broke in and sat in the dark for hours waiting. Doing fuck all. I still made Inej do it.

Chapter 3: Afraid of Heights, boygenuis

The chapter that boygenuis wrote, this whole thing is a mix between revolution 0 and afraid of heights

I just want to know/who broke your nose/figure out where they live/so I can kick their teeth in

There's been a run of fires downtown/On half-built construction sites/I know you never liked a townhouse/I've seen you climb a crane at night/If they ever catch you at it/I know you'd want me to be proud/That you took a rich man's dream/And brought it with you on your way down

Kaz thinks the Jam Tart House is a stupid name because I do. Who names a house that? But it's in the book!

They're drinking fantasy Strongbow at the night market.

Kaz crawling into Inej's bed is, to me, the saddest scene of this entire fic.

Chapter 4: Stick Season, Noah Kahan

A deck of cards and book of tricks gets left in Kaz's room, but he doesn't stop to think about who left them there. This is Inej, wanting him to want things.

"Good days" here is lying in wait for Jesper's question six chapters later. 

The client Kaz kills was an early idea, that he'd be set off by the word "daddy". Mostly because I am. 

The Floating Place is pure dissociation. Brought to you by my mental illnesses.

"So break me. Or buy me." is one of my favorite lines.

Kaz makes more than $1,200 a night. At the end of 8 years, assuming no days off and no fines, he would have made $3,504,000. He has paid off his principal 54 times. 

We learn later that his debt is held at 500% interest, which means at the end of 8 years with 0 payments he would have owed $221,709,240,000.

Kaz is getting fucked by the interest.

"Young, dumb, and down for everything" was originally "young, dumb, and full of come" but I couldn't bring myself to put that in a story.

Inej's story changed a few times, mostly her age at the time of the raid. At first she was 14 when it happened, but I needed more time for her father to drink himself to death and her to hunt down slavers before getting to Ketterdam. So now I imagine she left Ravka on her mission around 14.

Chapter 5: Afraid of Heights, boygenuis

Kaz's birthday is canonically in December or January, so I believe my exact idea for this scene was December 20. That's my mom's birthday.

Kaz's Kaelish is actually the gaelic for "you are an excellent lover"

Jesper's comment about using the curtains to hang youself is due to the way Margret Atwood describes Offred's room in the Handmaid's Tale. 

Getting them in year four would mean Kaz was 17, so after the leg, which he refers to as "breaking him beyond repair" later.

Kaz doesn't put on shoes because I wasn't sure he would own a pair. Why would he?

The Sir fight scene was originally much shorter, but I liked the idea of Kaz getting a little beat up.

I kinda regret killing Sir here. I should have done it after chapter 8, it would have meant more to the audience.

""No," he says. "I'm right here." was originally the last line of the story.

And then she's gone/And then he's alone is a reference to Come From Away and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Kaz hiding under the bed is inspired by the one scene in The Haunting of Hill House that I have never watched, where the Tall Man comes for his hat.

Inej brings coffee because Kaz wished for coffee in chapter 1 as a luxury he didn't get. She doesn't know it, but I do.

Chapter 6: Harmony Hall, Vampire Weekend

Going to the exchange to see his debt posted was a night before publishing add or I would have written the entire scene. I should have.

I had to think of a reason for Inej to be painting. In reality, I think she just finds Ketterdam ugly and needs the beauty in her life.

"Wool socks" is inspired by that viral Danny Pudi clip 

I imagined Inej did a lot of the "hanging head first in a canal while the tide comes in" type murders because then she can tell herself that if the Saints want them to live, they will.

"Don't come into my club and refuse my hospitality" is based on something my grandfather would say if we came to his restaurant and weren't hungry. You could order a plate of nothing, but you had to order something. 

Kaz mentions that he should learn people's names here. By chapter 14, he will know the name of every Razorgull he meets.

Chapter 7: Dial Drunk, Noah Kahan

I forgot about the first tattoo knife for a long time and had to go back and write it in. I believe Nina had it with her on Heist Night.

Kaz's back being scarred from beatings was a decision I made because I needed him to be damaged in ways people didn't know about to echo his insides. 

This is the only time the word "rape" is used in the entire fic.

The private room where they have dinner is based very specifically on one at the Palm that my parents rented out for my dad's birthday once. There are fewer caricatures in Kaz and Inej's.

"Secret for a secret" was the only way I could make Kaz talk in this scene.

Chapter 8: revolution 0, boygenuis

Is the whistle Inej uses (and Wylan does later) the conflict motif from West Side story? I'll never tell.

Inej in the meeting with Pekka is heavily inspired by a specific Space Pirate RP Pixy and I did 12 years ago. "I didn't do it and you can't prove it" was her character's MO there.

$60,000 at 500% for 40 years would end up being $1,764,509,279,127,346,261,335,823,263,022,972,928 with 0 payments. 

We know Kaz makes more than $1200 a night, and works 7 days a week. Assuming he never had a day off and never incurred a fine, he would make $17,520,000 in 40 years. 

He was always fucked. 

I very nearly cut the leg breaking scene because it was just that brutal. I expected more people to be disgusted with Sir afterwards, anyway. This is why I shouldn't have killed him so early. If he was in the room for Kaz's flashback it would have hit harder.

The style of the leg breaking is deeply inspired by my friend Ruby, who writes such beautiful horrors.

Chapter 9: Afraid of Heights, boygenuis

Kaz counting his kisses starting over is something I borrowed from Natasha Romanoff fic. It doesn't count if you had to do it.

I also do not know how to make dry coffee be wet coffee but that's because I hate coffee.

Inej gets to show her smarts here, she knows what Kaz saw even if he still doesn't. He never mentions two sets of books, but she recognizes the behavior and names it.

Inej does angry dishes as a homage to my college friend Elle who used to clean my dorm room when she was pissed off.

Chapter 10: revolution 0, boygenuis

Originally Nina was going to be able to control dissociation a lot better until I reread her intro in SOC and she specifically says she can't control the brain. That's when I invented plan B for the heist: fantasy roofies.

Jesper and Kaz are flirting while picking locks and I ship it.

"You've been through it" is in fact the most insane way I could think of to respond to "I wish I could have picked locks so fewer people would have assaulted me," which is in itself a BUCK WILD thing to say.

The affidavit was a late addition. I needed Kaz to be more afraid.

"Torpor of constant terror" would be a good band name

Originally the painting had a representation of Kaz and Inej in it, but that felt too obvious to me.

Chapter 11: revolution 0, boygenuis

Inej is wearing a fantasy Sari. Kaz specifically got 9 yds of silk for it.

It is raining because something has to go wrong in a heist and it can't be something that the characters could have planned for. Adding it allowed me to slow down the escape from Pekka's office later (sealing the tray) and also set Kaz on high alert so he'd be more susceptible to the panic later

Chapter 12: Cool About It, boygenuis

Describing a person as "built like a ship- wide and low" gave me great joy.

The cloche tray was one of those happy accidents I wrote in that turned into a gift. Initially it was just a tray. Then it had a fork. Then it was a ledger containment device. But that all happened organically.

Originally Jesper left the code in his pants in the ceiling, but I decided that was a stupid mistake to make and I didn't want him to look incompetent.

The guards absolutely smell the acid and that's what brings them into the room.

Chapter 13: Harmony Hall, Vampire Weekend

The chapter of badass lines

There are 0 hits on google for the phrase "upstanding young criminal", which I was sure I stole from somewhere.

The tattoo knife being Kaz's weapon here was planned from chapter 2. I loved the idea of Kaz stabbing Pekka with a knife made of the ink Pekka put on him.

Maybe someday I will write a story about Dime Lion Hostage girl, because I love her an irrational amount.

The hero/corpse line gave me so much joy that I told it to my roommate who also thought I plagiarized it. I did not.

I knew Kaz had to think something happened to Inej, but I was disgusted at the idea of actually hurting her in a sexual way. In the first draft of this scene, I still didn't know why Pekka wanted to get her alone and I wrote a whole monologue about them joining forces and it was extremely bad.

I considered having Kaz tell Pekka that his son had already signed a contract to be a closer analogue to the book, but it just didn't make sense for this Kaz.

Chapter 14: House By The Sea, Moddi

Do not jump out of third story windows. I did a lot of research about this, you will injure yourself.

Here we have the first hint that Kaz has actually integrated into the Gulls, even if he doesn't know it yet. When he bursts into the guard shack Dael (who I also love?) speaks to him, and not Jesper.

The guardroom questions between Jesper and Kaz are my least favorite scene in this story. It feels like plain exposition to me, but it needed to happen and I never figured out how to make it better.

"You should see the other guy" is what Jesper said back in chapter 4 when he got stabbed. It was my brother's go-to response when he was hurt after wrestling matches in high school and college.

"I've been worse" is what Kaz told Nina back in chapter 2 after the beating. It's what I tend to say when someone at work asks me how I am.

Kerstan, the Razorgull who gives Kaz a blanket, is roughly 9 years old. I know his backstory vaguely (he is Dael's little brother), but mostly he's meant to invoke feelings of "what the fuck" in Kaz

I went back and forth about the scene with the caning scars. I almost cut it, but in the end I wanted Inej to assert that she loved Kaz, and I wanted Kaz to be able to tell her that he wasn't ready for her to love him that way, but he wanted to be.

Pekka in draft 1 was the captain of the ship, but if he was running the Dime Lions when Kaz was 9-13, that would only give him a few years to get to that position. So I adjusted him to the owner. 

Chapter 15: Harmony Hall, Vampire Weekend

I had the worst time with this chapter, it got rewritten about 90 times

This piece of paper (below) reads "Open before fall/house by the sea/contracts" as the three things I needed to remember to keep in it through the drafts. It was taped next to my computer.

Inej is talking about the Ice Court when she talks about the big job

This is the only chapter that was NOT finished when I started posting. I didn't know what the last line would be, but I knew I'd find it in editing. 

[shummashum]

Klaus Goldstein Ch12 [11~14]

the inside is cleaner than I thought

so you're saying he does a lot of really shitty things behind, huh this group is fucking suspicious is it okay to have this group as a client? it's not an exaggeration that you could be kidnapped without even realizing it

his attitude is unspeakable but his ability is great? really? for real? I mean, why does someone who is considered exceptionally good at work leave work to students

Anyway, as Zeus and Al were wondering how to talk to that Thana guy…

what on earth is that artificial intelligence? GLaDOS?

oh... that means it's making a sound like dentures right now

well his words are remarkably short and it ticks me off but I understand, not showing even the slightest courtesy to others is one of the characteristics of boomer

Anyway Klaus reported the stolen items to Thana.

progress? of course there's no way something like that exists! all they did was lovey dovey stuff (laugh)

oh right at least a single progress exists

familiar? why tho

At that time, Thana called Zeus' name.

oh… right, that happened a long time ago well my liking for him is on a sharp upward curve again! this guy's chart is fucking roller coaster I felt he was a goddamn trolling artist in Ch7, but he feels like a very friendly and admirable type now it'd be great if he stayed like this

where did that guy who complained Klaus not to waste time go but I understand, words not align with actions is one of the characteristics of boomer besides I think there must be a reason…

fuck you asshole I think you're mistaken; they're students of the academy, not slaves or henchmen that you can use as you please right now the only person you can manage here is Klaus the academy isn't under the Ministry, so what right do you have to discuss their whereabouts? besides the Ministry has a bunch of employee, I saw lots of them earlier the Ministry pay and hire them, why didn't that bunch of idiots just use them

speaking of paying, are the Ministry going to pay our S6 comrades the right amount of compensation? or are they going to give them a bonus when they apply to the Ministry in the future? it's not the case, right? they were just planning on doing it for free in the name of fame, I can see well their intention

you guys are truly motherfuckers this is what you should be in charge of in the first place hah bunch of trash leeches who only sucking taxes must be abolished immediately after a government audit

and look, he cut the connection right after saying his words I get it, someone like this is considered "competent" within the Ministry the height of incompetence

Anyway, Zeus said that what Thana said bothered him as they left the office.

well since that guy is his boss, he feels like it's even more shitty yet that's a competent boss? this group is really a bunch of scum sighsigh

and he's slowly trying to start the engine but I won't stop him from trolling at the Ministry rather I want to encourage it

no it's you be honest with yourself. you think this workplace sucks, right? now you have an excuse to troll, so why throw it away? if it were me, I wouldn't miss this opportunity

honestly it's true that it's a reckless plan beyond measure, but I've decided not to care about that anymore anyway Hiro is gone now anyway the brakes are off now go Zeus!!! show everyone your troll power!!!

-Ch12 End-

[drkcnry67]

SPN Kinktober day 2

Size doesn't matter, all that matter is I love you

Pairing: Dean x reader

Prompt: size kink

rating: 18+

Tags: body conscious female, plus size reader, making out, kissing, not going out in public due to being body conscious

Summery is nope

kinktober masterlist

you went through the city looking for a dress, this dress had to be special, this was the dress that would be on your body when you go to the first show of your life.

but something was wrong, i mean something was always wrong. but you had always been conscious of your size. you knew you werent thin or skinny, but you had never fit in anywhere.

yn(to self): i look like a whale no matter what i wear why on earth would me becoming an exotic dancer yield any different results.

you finish saying that as you finalize the purchase of your now plus size lingerie. you were the first plus size dancer that would grace the halls and rooms of this new dance club.

you went back to your little apartment and felt the tears sting your eyes as you now were staring at your form in the mirror, the words of people said in past were ringing through your mind now.

"fatty" "ugly" "stupid" "dinosaur fatty" "egg boat"

you slunked down against the wall and now let the tears fall freely. it was still a few hours before you had to be at work... you didnt want to eat right then you knew you would eat later.

a few hours passed and you left the house for work... your first shift as a exotic dancer. this was not the profession one should choose if they be body conscious

but never the less you were now ready to get out there and shake what your mama gave you. but now getting all dolled up you knew you would have to change your personality to one of not giving in to your already pervy boss, not caring about your body, not giving a shit about the people that would be watching you.

but that first step onto the stage you locked eyes with one man who just couldnt take his eyes off you... now your boss however couldnt understand why you werent acting like the other girls and fauning over him.

but when your boss caught this man starring at you and you starring back at him, his blood boiled he needed to have you and didnt care who he hurt to get you...

you swung round the pole as the horny drunk men in the room threw money on stage with each article of clothing you removed. you were very sure that when the man who had captivated your attention was talking to the waitress he was wanting to get you alone.

but your time with this man would not be just you 2... for unknown to you, your boss was gonna try his damndest to get you to be his like he had with all the other girls in there...

but upon getting off the stage after your set you arrived back to your room to find a note to go to private room 4, to meet your client... you freshened up a bit before you went and made your way over to the room. you arrived to the room and was greeted to the sight of a green eyed man sitting on the couch...

dean: that was quite the performance out there

yn: thank you... i wasnt expecting to get asked away to a private room on my first day and given my size too...

dean: honey come here, sit with me...

you did as he asked after locking the door... and this man turned to face you making your core heat up and he hadnt even done anything yet.

dean: i could see it in your eyes when you were dancing your scared of something arent you...

yn: its just my boss he gives me the creeps.

dean: has he tried anything to you

yn: no but he was just starring at me while i was dancing and he personally oversaw to my audition and it just creeped me the fuck out

dean: well whatever happens ill be here till your done and then ill personally escort you home hows that sound

yn: that sounds perfect. but your not scared of my size... usually i turn men away with how

dean just heard enough of that and he reached over and brushed a hair from your face and you nodded to his advance being welcomed.. you caressed his cheek as well and your lips locked in a fierce kiss.

meanwhile your boss was watching this through the security camera... no sound to be heard but your boss was watching as you now kissed this guy...

furious he stormed out of his office and went to the waitress demanding to know the name of the man with you in room 4, she answered with wedge antilis

this was not what he wanted, he didnt like when his new ladies didnt comply with his unspoken rules and demands. he didnt appreciate when men would come in request a private with his new ladies and he didnt like it when the new ones were more responsive to the other guys than him.

your boss was about to intrude on a very heated makeout session. but unknown to you your boss was more dangerous than he had led out to be.

the door broke in, you shrieked as you were pulled out of the room by your hair across the stone cold floor and then it was heard clear as a bell someone screaming your name.

dean(screaming): guards let me go... it is illegal to hold a federal officer whether or not on duty... now let me go before i have this place raided and you all arrested for assault.

the guards backed up... and your boss holding you by the throat now backed against the wall... as dean strides himself out of the room, the guards not making any movements as dean held his gun toward your boss, no description could ever describe the look of fire and anger in deans eyes.

dean: christo

your boss screamed and twitched his grip getting tighter.

yn: dean help....

dean: yn stay calm i promise ill love you for the rest of your life once we deal with this slimeball... now demon let the lady go

demon: no, she belongs to me she signed a contract upon her starting work here.

dean points to the first guard he sees and sends him to fetch the contract... the guard runs off and dean moves a bit closer to you and your captor.

dean: im not gonna say it again. let her go

the man holding your throat doesnt show any signs of relent, you were the one person that revealed the truth about this club owners true intent...

dean: then you leave me no other choice... for you see i had my suspicions upon entering here and laying eyes on this woman, her safety now is all that matters, she will not be the next to feel your seed, you will let her go or i will take her from you and send you back to hell.

the demon just laughs and eggs dean forward. you were now locked in gaze once more with this man you known barely an hour... yet it feels like you have known forever.

yn: dean help

dean: its okay dont worry im almost done with this scumball.

dean then speaks once more at the demon and this time with full blown anger after he steps a few more steps quickly and snaps the demons arm thats holding you back, and dean pulls you against him and lets his voice carry.

dean: exorciamous te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregato, insectas diabolica, ergo draco malidicte, ecclesia secura tuam facias libretatum, te regamos, audios bitch

black smoke filled the air and disappeared into the floor. you hid your face in deans chest and let your tears fall freely soaking his shirt as he proceeds to cover you with a blanket he had in his hand.

dean: make sure that this man is taken to hospital for a checkup and if he has any questions about what happened you dont tell him anything.... and wipe the security footage its not to be seen at all by anyone. now i take this lady and our leave...

you were now whisked back through the club and out the door, you were not sure what had just happened and not sure what would happen but you were loaded into the passenger seat of a classic car, dean then drove the car to a motel outside of the city...

upon arrival dean came round to your side of the car and helped you into the motel room. you felt his hands grasp your own as you sat down on the bed and let dean put you into one of his teeshirts.

now letting you breathe a bit you finally find the words to speak.

yn: yn, my name is yn...

dean: well i love you for whats on the inside not the outside, looks dont matter, size doesnt matter and anyone who tells you otherwise now has to answer to me.

yn: thank you for getting me out of there... im sorry i caused you so much trouble.

dean comes to sit beside you, he takes your hands in his and smiles at you...

dean: you need not apologize, just lay back and let me hold you... its been a long night you need rest...

dean and you fall back on the bed lost in eachothers embrace his hands tracing every inch of your form. the soft moans elicting from your lips as you slowly drift off to sleep against his chest.

[xltribe]

XL Trailblazer Of The Week Jelani Maleeq

This weeks XL Trailblazer Of The Week is Jelani Maleeq. Now I opted to do thing a little different because I wanna highlight great people with great storys. 1. How did you become a personal trainer/life coach? Studying theater and dance predominantly from elementary to college days an entertainment career was always my main focus. I learned quickly that auditions aren’t always landed and there are definitely dry spells so, I started off teaching what I knew between performing arts schools and gyms. I taught mostly dance fitness to adults and taught dance fundamentals like ballet, modern and jazz to kids. As I progressed with the gym circuit I got into a lot more forms of fitness and acquired about 5 different certifications. The gym circuit was convenient because it kept me in shape to maintain the much needed endurance a musical theater actor needed to have and of course leaving for tours or shifting my class schedule around was fairly easy when I would be in show and I knew I had that job to return to if things would dry up again! Becoming a personal trainer and life coach followed a few years later and I’ve been a wellness professional all together for about 10+ years now slowly starting in 2006.  2. Whats been your favorite part of your entrepreneurial journey?  Unchecked depression is real serious. After a terrible injury (breaking my foot and then having to undergo surgery for a severely ruptured appendix 2 weeks after) way back in 2010 The “healing time” was LONG AND BRUTAL and when I came back to work after almost a year things were really different for me. I went from a very fit 225lbs to very unhealthy 310lbs and I felt like I was useless. I wasn’t able to perform in the gym, I wasn’t landing auditions and I felt like love wasn’t happening because I was so unattractive (I didn’t know better then) I went into a terrible depression and ultimately made an attempt on my life that was the realest light in the dark moment I ever experienced... I found myself again after learning black men can benefit from therapy, learning I truly am the master of my own happiness and when I returned with a different purpose and attitude, the messages I got from clients about how I was able to use the new tools I had to get them through their own struggles sky rocketed me into understanding what it is to truly LIVE ON PURPOSE! With that being said I learned to do things with more purpose and my mission as a personal trainer, motivational coach, wellness pro, etc is so much more than “looking better” it’s about being and doing better ON PURPOSE. And I fine tuned the little things I learned along the way and created MoFo lifestyle (Moving Forward LifeStyle) to empower, improve not only physical health but, improve mental health as well and boost one’s confidence the same way I continue to learn myself everyday. I have learned to love this big ole body that I once hated ... I am finally doing something that I LOVE!  3. If you could swap styles with one celebrity who would it be and why? That’s a tough one to be honest, I have come such a long way where I love my own personal style so much that I don’t think I would want to swap with anyone especially since I’ve learned to get over a lot of silly gender specific rules I used to adhere to from not wearing pink cause I’m a guy, being afraid to wear thing too form fitting for fear of judgement or not wanting to be “too flashy” cause if you are shining brightly enough you shouldn’t worry about someone dimming your damn light, I can just throw out a few who I think say fuck the rules ... Solange, Jidenna, Erykah and Lil NasX (meanwhile they ALL slim so I can’t fit the shit they wear). Next question, lol!  4. Where do you see yourself in five years and how do you see yourself accomplishing it? I definitely see myself relocating (preferably ATL but, still not opposed to NOLa) I don’t see myself teaching so frequently as I would like to make more time for just being creative maybe giving

y’all some new music (like Soul Searching 2012 available on iTunes), definitely doing a lot more amazing collaborations especially with XLtribe cause I love the fuck outta y’all and what you represent! Definitely doing more keynote speaking because I want you all to find the same peace, joy, clarity and happiness that I have found like I’m high in life without THC. Last, really pushing these new skin care products I am working on under the umbrella of fitness and style platform MoFoLifestlye ... it’s called BaeShea and the first product is a blended all over the body/hair butter. Keep an eye out because in 5 years I definitely expect it to be on shelves helping you get that glow that only a bae can give you!!  Real Quick, I just wanna say:  Life is fleeting, I promise you there will never be a way that you can turn time backward! Explore yourself to find your personal happiness, live on purpose and for BLACK MEN THERAPY doesn’t mean you are mentally ill, it’s a way to fortify your mental stability! Being alive is a special occasion so whatever great idea, cute outfit or bottle you are waiting to open needs to just go ahead and happen! Live your ENTIRE best life and never forget “a hug can change a life!” Follow Him On Instagram @jelani_maleeq

[whatbigotspost]

Oh ho ho, what do we have here! An opportunity for me to call out the bullshit entity that is all of fucking Hollywood… Being only truly familiar with the indie side of filmmaking through my partner’ career, I just wanted to add, so often the people who act as “representation” work for giant entities that have a vested interest in all the things that related to profit. They’re not only thinking about silly shit related to like what reputation might make them the most mainstream… They’re also thinking about how they can maximize the money they get from their 20%.

You actually have to have quite a bit of power and success to be able to super heavily affect higher representation to act the way YOU want in your Hollywood career.

Traditional talent firms hold so much more power than anybody who is early in their career. They will drop you at the top drop of a hat if you don’t play the game the way they want you to. They hold the levers to the auditions that open the doors that get you into the projects that actually give you any level of stability. They’re probably more examples of folks getting screwed over by their representation that we could ever possibly articulate or count.

If someone’s agent decides that a project is beneath them basically because the paycheck that comes with it is too small, that can be just as much about how that agent wants that person to keep that time open so that they can go work something much more high profile and lucrative that will get them a higher payment for their 20 percent cut.

In this space involving all the studios and most powerful casting folks ultimately… Of course they’re going to keep information from their clients that might result in them doing things that don’t directly benefit the “business.”

It is never about the art in Hollywood I need y’all to understand that. 

So Prismo got recast in the Fionna and Cake show cuz Kumail Nanjiani's agents didn't let him know the crew was trying to get him back to reprise the role

[megan-rambles]

27.5.24

After actually having a few good days at work on Friday/Saturday I log in today (despite telling myself not to because I knew I’d regret it) and seeing that I have to complete my “client care week” which I would have done of course anyway but before I was like if I don’t get all my GP letters done it’s no big deal as long as I have the handover documents ready but now I have the stress that I’ll be fucking audited 😡

AND a client that I literally haven’t seen in months (that likely will be presenting with intense grief due to the very high likelihood her father has died) just booked in for tomorrow because I had like one bloody cancellation and so I have to have the conversation like ok this is a one off session I don’t have capacity for any more which I sincerely hope she’s aware of!

Thankfully I have 2 weeks left and I wish I organised this better so I wasn’t so stressed towards the end however a. I had no idea how difficult it would be to just finish up with cases and b. I do feel like I was pushed to work even longer/harder than what I think is reasonable with this whole idea of taking someone on with the “assumption” that 6 weeks of therapy is enough and thankfully it’s worked out ok but I honestly think things needed to have slowed down a lot sooner.

Whatever, just got to get through these 2 weeks and once I wrap up everything i will feel calm -it still feels like an eternity and stressful because I feel like clients just seem to keep wanting to come back or just keep needing things and I just want people to stop needing things from me just because they can. Its my son that actually needs me so everyone else needs to fuck off!!

Anyway, a message to future Megan, DO NOT check halaxy or your emails under any circumstances at home, only at the clinic or in library on my admin days!!

Plan:

Print client list -label discharge or handover as I see them

and write GP letters for all those without future appts -basic without going into presentation, stating no future appts, will be going on mat leave

Write basic scaffold GP letters for clients left and have an option for discharge or handover - basic without going into presentation and stating: 1. Mat leave 2. Handover/discharge

Do the handover summaries as I go but on Tuesday the 11th finish up any handovers left and send off GP letters

Prioritise this over my training because worst comes to worst I can finish it when Bub is like 2-3 months before it expires

[roeisanerd]

i kept getting cc'd in a reply chain of my audit engagement partner fighting the client we're auditing and their bank bc the bank fucked up their confirmation statement and it's so fucking funny watching them shit their pants out in professional turn-based combat while the engagement partner and i just laugh our asses off together lmao. someone bring me my popcorn

[sylviazem]

FFXIV Write 2023- Prompt #25: Call It a Day

"Ah", Stella noticed Maple escorting her client down the stairs. "I trust ya had a good time, darlin'?"

"Oh, absolutely wonderful", the client smiled and leaned against Maple's shoulder. "She was...wow. Just incredible. So eager, and...considerate."

"How lovely to hear", Stella took the key from her. "Now, I hate to flatten the mood but I need to collect yer payment."

"Of course", she handed over the gil. "I felt inclined to put in a little extra..."

"My..! How generous of ya, ma'am", Stella quickly and carefully counted the amount. "Truly happy we could provide the quality service we strive for. We do so love our regulars; perhaps next time, I could personally satisfy yer needs, mm? It would break my heart if we never saw yer beautiful face grace the establishment again..."

"Oh, you..!" She giggled and waved coyly as she walked out the door. "Thank you again!"

"...Well?!" Maple excitedly leaned against the reception desk. "Are there more clients for me?!"

"...Doll", Stella leaned back on her chair. "Ya been workin' nonstop. Don't ya think it's time ya called it a day?"

"What? No way", Maple did a happy little twirl and finished with the signature Starlet Pose. "I've still got plenty of energy left! I'll just go wash up a little, and-"

"Girl", Stella stood up and put her hand on Maple's shoulder. "You go freshen up an' take a nap. An' that's an order. Ya done enough for today."

"Aww...all right, ma'am", she disappointedly hung her head. "It's just..."

"Hm?"

"I've never felt so...alive", her face was absolutely beaming with happiness. "Thank you so much for letting me work here!"

"...Yer really that happy, about bein' a sex worker?"

"Absolutely! I mean, I get to have sex with all kinds of beautiful girls all day, talking with them about things, eat Cherry's delicious cooking...What's not to love? Getting paid for doing it is nice too, of course, but..."

"Well, good", Stella smiled with an unusually soft expression. "I'm glad ya feel safe and fulfilled. Really. An' I hope ya keep workin' hard, too!"

"Yes, ma'am! As long as there's girls to please, I'll keep doing my best!"

"Yer startin' to sound a bit like Cherry there, darlin'. Her peppy attitude been rubbin' off on ya?"

"Maybe", Maple giggled. "Truth be told, it's not the only part of her that has rubbed off on me recently, if you don't mind the implication."

"Ho?" Stella raised her brown in surprise. "Yer so insatiable, yer fuckin' other Starlets too, luv?"

"I-I mean...I'll stop, if that's a problem, ma'am. Of course."

"Naw", Stella laughed. "Just surprised, is all. Ya really burst out of your cocoon after yer audition, it warms my heart to see ya thrivin'. As long as it don' mess with either o' yer work, fuck around to yer heart's content, I say!"

"Thank you, ma'am", Maple bowed. "Cherry is a real sweetheart...I owe her my life, really. And to you too, of course."

"Any time, doll."