#and Finn having a straight up breakdown!!

[this-is-snekky]

Got a little too silly; couldn't resist drawing this very silly drawing by @deer-diary-from-hell

Teeeheee!!! Gave them some bandages and a few extra details to really emphasize how battered and broken they are, hehehehehehe!!!!!!

[fandoms--fluff]

The Things I’d Do For You

Older Mikaelson sister reader x Hope Mikaelson

Summary: Hope distances herself away from you and everyone so you go to her school, and comfort her through a breakdown about your dead family members and her fears and guilt and everything

Warnings: mentions of death, swearing

A/n: very fluffy but angst at the same time i think? And of course had to incorporate Alaric bashing. Currently working on more hope content!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some would think with the mass age difference of six hundred between you and your younger sister, Hope, that the two of you wouldn’t be that close. But it’s the total opposite. Ever since Hope met you and you guys have bonded, you’ve been closer with each other than anybody else. 

You may have different mothers, both are dead, but you still feel close to one another either if you were half sister like now or full sisters. 

Your mother abandoned you when you were very young, and even when she was there, she wasn’t ever the best mother anyways. You crossed paths with your father, the original Klaus Mikaelson, when you were in England in 1492 after you were turned almost a century prier from being killed by ironically, a vampire, when you were 19. He was on his journey to just about complete the sacrifice with Katerina Petrova in some little days when you showed up. He automatically could tell you were connected to him in the first couple minutes of talking. Something about you seemed so similar. 

That’s when he got you to open up about your past that you both put together what had happened. Starting when your mother and him had a long relationship until she ran away one day with no trace to follow. Like she evaporated out of existence, fell off the face of the Earth. She was pregnant with you, their daughter and obviously hadn’t wanted Klaus to find out about you and tried to do everything in her power to get rid of you, not knowing you’d be a first born Mikaelson witch-tribrid when you were born. 

It was the first time in a while that Klaus had openly showed affection with anyone, but with you, he didn’t skip a heart beat. After meeting for the first time and connecting with your father, you guys had went your separate ways, Klaus not wanting Mikael to find out about you. 

You had kept in touch with each other, meeting all your aunts and uncles, besides from Finn until Mystic Falls in 2010 and Freya later on after you came back to New Orleans because a call from your uncle Elijah about something he shouldn’t tell you over the phone. After that, you quickly packed your things and left Mystic Falls after saying goodbye to your friends, Caroline, Stefan, Bonnie, and Damon. 

After everything that had went down over the years when Hope was growing up and learning how you were her sister and about your past. She always made it clear that she looked up to you and wanted to be like you, someone who’d drop everything to help her family. You didn’t know how to feel about that when she first told you after you read her a bed time story when she was six, but after that, you knew how special you are to her. Even your dad and Hayley pulled you aside to say how grateful they were to have you stay in Hope’s life even though you had every right to not want to. 

She had started sneaking into your room at night when she was supposed to be asleep when she was seven. It woke you up straight away when you heard the doorknob turn, but after a while you knew how to tell it was her. You’d always welcome her into your arms and let her cuddle you to her hearts contents. 

It slowed down for a couple years when she was entering her teenage years, thinking that she was too old for it, but caved a couple times. 

It picked up greatly after your guys’ dad and uncle Elijah died, plus her mom, Hayley, who you were starting to consider a mother figure yourself. And it hadn’t stopped or slowed down, not that your complaining though, it’s just when she was younger she’d always tell you when somethings wrong or if she just wanted cuddles. Now, she barely opens up, and when she does, it’s when she’s on the brink of a meltdown and you calmly pull her out of it. 

-

Like right now, you’re really worried about your baby sister. She hasn’t phoned or texted you for a couple days now since going back to the boarding school after winter break. You’re getting anxious about what might happen, considering everything that happened with the boy that she was dating and he had died the previous year. 

You’re pacing back and forth in your room at the abattoir when you feel a presence in the doorway. “What are you doing here Marcel?” You stop your pacing and turn over to look at the younger vampire. 

“I just wanted to check in on you, I haven’t seen you out in a couple days” he says and comes into the room, standing in front of you. 

“I’m just worries about Hope, I haven’t heard anything from her in almost a week and she hasn’t been answering my phone calls or texts. I’m trying to figure out if I did something to make her mad at me, or if I forgot about something and she’s mad about that” you rant to him. 

“Hey, take a deep breath, I’m sure everything is fine. How about you go visit her, and if your nervous, you have friends there that can also give you a helping hand about it, right?”

“Yeah, thanks Marcel” you guys quickly hug before he leaves and you start packing a bag. 

-

Once you get to Mystic Falls, you were about to turn around from the school and just go over to see Damon, but before you can, you get a phone call from an unknown caller. Sighing, you answer it, not having any reason not to. 

A voice quickly starts speaking, “Hey Y/n, I’m Lizzie, Hope’s friend- kinda friend? from school. I know from what Hope had told me about you that you dont like to be disturbed, but I think you might want to know about this.”

“What happened, is hope alright?” you ask concerned. 

“I don’t know, she hasn’t left her room besides for necessaties and won’t talk to any of us. I was wondering how fast you can get here, I know it’s far from New Orleans but I’m worried about her. It’s as if she’s turned off her emotions even though she hasn’t activated her vampire part” Lizzie quickly tells you, worry evident in the girl’s voice. 

“Hey, hey, sweetie, calm down, it’s going to be okay. Believe it or not, I was just on my way to the school, I’ll be there in five minutes, okay?” You soften your tone. 

“Okay, thanks” she says, clear that she’s taking deep breathes before hanging up. 

You put your phone down and immediately step on the gas, breaking more than one speed limit getting to the boarding school in record time. As you step into the school, you see a tall blond girl leaning against a wall, waiting anxiously. 

You walk over to her, and place your hand on her shoulder. “You must be Lizzie, right?” You say.

“Yeah, sorry about the panicked phone call, I didn’t know who else to phone” she murmured, calming from your gentle touch.

“It’s alright, I know you’re worried, is Hope in her room?” You asked, already knowing the answer. “Um, yeah. The last time she came out was to take a shower last night” she tells you. 

“Okay, thanks Lizzie. I’ll see you later” you smile and squeeze the siphoner’s shoulder before making your way to your sister’s room. 

You knock on her door, not getting an answer, but you know she’s in there from her breathing and heart beat. You memorized how they sound when she was younger in case anything happened. 

Unlocking the door with your magic, you walk into her room. Her back is facing the now closed door and you, “I thought I made it clear I didn’t want you Lizzie” Hope sternly says, not noticing it’s you and not her blond friend. 

“Good thing I’m not Lizzie then” you tell her, crossing your arms over your chest. 

Hope immediately freezes, realizing who is in her room. It’s definitely not her frenemy, but her big sister. The same sister who she’s been ignoring for almost a week. The same sister who she knows was worried the second she made her phone calls go to voicemail.

She doesn’t know what to do, but she does turn around, which she doesn’t know if it’s a smart move or not, seeing the stern and worrisome look you have. 

“Y/n” she mumbles. 

“Hey Hope, I want you to know that I’m not mad at you” you tell her, slowly making your way over to her. She lets out a breath of air she didn’t even know she was holding in. 

“All I want to know is why you’ve been pushing everyone who cares about you away” you crouch down in front of where she’s sitting on her bed. 

She shakes her head, trying to avoid eye contact with you. 

You look over to her nightstand and see pictures and small trinkets laid out in a haphazard manner. Looking closer, you notice the pictures are the ones you printed for her when she was 12. They’re some of her, you, your guys’ family, both of you in selfies from when she was really young. 

You reach over and pick a handful of them up. “I remember this day, I took you to the zoo and you wouldn’t leave the lion exhibit because you were waiting for Simba to come over to you and have a conversation with him. I’m pretty sure Hayley despised me for allowing you to watch Lion King all those times, she said one day you’d drive her crazy with how much you sang the songs” you hand Hope the photo. 

She chuckled, tears forming in her eyes. “I remember, I kept begging mom to go back to the zoo with you after. I was committed to try talking to a lion” she looked back up at you with a sad smile, remembering the day more clearly. 

You see the emotion in her face, you smile knowing you’re getting somewhere. Digging another one out of the pile. “Oh, this was a fun day. Dad took us to the ice cream place and allowed us to get whatever we wanted. By the end of the day you had, I swear, the biggest sugar high ever.” 

Hope took the photo handed to her, it shows a picture that you’re taking with your phone with your guys’ dad across the table and her beside you with ice cream all around her mouth. “Mom yelled at dad the second she saw me” Hope’s smile widened. 

“Yeah, boy did he get a talking to. But even through all that, you still somehow fell asleep in my arms, and ironically it was during the loudest part of it” you say, making you both chuckle. 

You sort through the pictures in your hands, pausing after seeing a specifically worn out one with light yellow aging on the outline.  

“Hm, now where’d you get this one?” You say with a risen eyebrow, lifting a picture of you from the 1840s. You’ve been looking for it in your room at the abattoir but you had a hunch of where it went, and it seems you were right. 

Hope pauses for a second, realizing she got caught with something. “...I may have taken it from your room. It was after m-mom died and I couldn’t find you, but I saw this on your dresser. And I thought you looked to so pretty in it, I took it because... I don’t know really. I guess I was scared that you were going to leave too and maybe having something close to you from your history made me think that it help with my paranoia.” your younger sister slowly explained, thinking back to when she took it. 

“You were really scared, weren’t you?” You softly say more than ask.

“Mhm, I thought you’d be next. But then it was Dad and Uncle Elijah. I’m so scared you’re gonna leave me too” Hope sobbed, finally breaking after not talking for so long about it. 

You immediately put the pictures down and lean forward from where you’re still crouching and pull her into your arms. One of your hands lay on the back of her head, rubbing your finger tips in slow circles. It’s something you used to do when she’d come to you with nightmares. 

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry you’ve felt this way. You don’t have to worry, I’m not going anywhere, I won’t let anyone make me leave you ever again” you tell her and kiss her forehead. 

You wrap your arm tightly and securely around Hope’s lower back. After a second, you stand up, carrying her. Her legs automatically wrap around your torso and she clings to you tighter than before, letting her emotions out as she cries into your neck. 

“E-everyone around me d-dies. I th-thought if I distanced myself from everyone then n-no one else would die” she explains her actions to you through her sobs. 

You start walking around the room and slightly bouncing her as if she were a baby. Some may find it weird that you’re doing this with a fifteen year old but it’s starting to calm her down, so screw what other people may think weird about it. 

 “Baby, that would seem like the best choice at the moment, but after a while you’ll feel so alone until you don’t feel at all. Think of it as a human humanity switch. No one, especially me, wants you to go through it, it’s horrible” you tell her, your own eyes starting to water from how your sister has been feeling. 

She clings to you, her arms wrapped around your neck, like a koala. She doesn’t want anyone else she loves to die. “I want them to come back” she whimpers through her crying. 

“Me too, me too. If I could just wave my hand and have them appear, I would.” You go back over to her bed and sit down on it with Hope now sitting on your lap, not wanting to let you go.

“I-I miss Mommy and Dadddy and uncle ‘Lijah” she mumbles, trying to blink her tears away. 

"Oh I know you do, I know sweet girl" you comfort her, rubbing your hand in circles on her back. You feel horrible for not realizing it sooner, how she felt on the inside about all of this. But who can blame her, she's only fifteen and lost so many important people in her life, and now scares that by getting close to anyone will send them to their death beds aswell.

She nuzzles further into your chest and scrunches up fistfuls of your shirt in her hands. Looking to the side, you see the simba stuffed animal you got Hope for christmas when she was eight in front of her pillows.

You unwrap one of your arms from the fifteen year old and grab the stuffed animal. Kissing Hope's forehead, you slowly start to move a couple inches away from her, earning you a whine of protest. Before she crashes back into you, you press the stuffed animal to her chest.

"You still have this" you say softly. She looks down and slowly unwraps her arms from you, noticing what you're talking about.

She picks Simba up into her arms and snuggles him after a couple back and forth glance between you and the stuffed animal. "Would never get rid of him, you gave it to me" she pouts at how you dare would've thought that, behind the lion's head.

-

“Well now I know where all my things are going” you softly chuckled, noticing the reason why the sweater Hope is wearing looks so familiar, it’s yours.

"You're clothes are just comfier" she mumbles into your chest, the lion held tight in her left arm.

"Is that right?" You ask with a teasing smile on your face. "Mhm."

"You're not gonna leave. Right?" She looks up at you with widened puppy eyes. "I'm not going to leave, I promise" you brushed the hair out of her face. You get an approving nod, before laying back into her big sister.

"I think it's time I move back into our old house" you say and she looks up at you with confusion. "Oh, right you've never been there, have you?" You ask. She shakes her head.

"Well, our dad built-actually got hybrids to build it, but that's whatever, a mansion just outside of town, and I'm pretty sure everything's still there. All I have to do is pack some things and get the keys to it from New Orleans before moving back in. I can't believe Alaric never told you about it- actuay I do believe that, he's an ass" you tell her.

"Wanna know a secret?" She whispers into your ear like she's seven again. "Of course" you whisper back.

"I think he's an ass too" she smiles, getting an affirming smile and nod from you. "Now you're speaking my language" you kiss the top of her head.

"I love you, y/n/n" she tells you.

"I love you too, little sis."

[eddieydewr]

I have actually seen people say his career is on rapid decline 😂. These sweet little innocent babes are so very sheltered lmao. A 19 year old drinking is not a story. It's nothing. Who the fuck doesn't act like that when they are college aged? Besides that, he has been on the receiving end of nothing but made up shit for months and people just believe yet another story with zero evidence. Let's recap the fake shit people have said about him: - He hates Palestinians - He's a racist, genocidal maniac - He fights with his co-stars - He got dropped from brand deals - He had a mental breakdown on set - He is a pedophile - He's being isolated from his co-stars on set and they won't talk to him - He's being written out of the show and they changed the story And now - he got drunk at a bar and made a scene. At a time when things have been going well for him and the haters are pissed all of the things listed above are proving over and over again to not be true. The best they can come up with now is that he was drinking. Because they are that easily scandalized. Even if it is true, who the fuck cares? It would be the first true thing people have said about him in months. These stories say nothing about Noah and everything about the people who make them up. I'm not even surprised by the amount of people having a mental breakdown over this. This fandom is full of dumb drama. But people need to realize that the only reason that anything on that list above got so much traction is because they kept talking about it. So if you feel bad for Noah that all these people are constantly coming after him and making things up/dramatizing things, don't give them fuel and instead ignore the dumb shit they say. Rumors mean nothing when no one is discussing them.

rapid decline 😭 if finn quit acting to focus on behind the scenes stuff and his music, they’ll say it’s part of his trajectory but if noah does it, they will be like HAHA FLOPPED. even though noah always said he doesn’t plan on acting full time and is interested in doing everything he possibly can, which is already evident with his lifeguarding and volunteering work, setting up businesses, working with brands and sponsorships…

not to be dramatic but i rly think they want noah to kill himself. they just don’t realise the full effect of their words and actions. because they just say it on the internet. them, of all people, should understand what it’s like because i see them get angry at rowling for her part in endangering trans people… on twitter. noah has his own beliefs but he clearly isn’t genocidal, doesn’t hate palestinians, and he’s simply living his life but he’s somehow the worst person to live. their behaviour reminds me of young millennials when they hated on justin bieber. they thought it was funny to make rape and murder jokes about him when he was a kid, way before he started doing stupid stuff. the same happened to noah before 10/7. they’ve always hated him for being “cringe” aka jewish and possibly gay (or straight but simply a melt like bieber). and millie with the homophobic memes.

i know it’s best to ignore shit and not add fuel to the fire but i think the whole culture needs to change. especially when they claim they’re doing it because they care about a certain cause, like palestine. like besties, no. you’ve wanted noah dead for years because haha, memes.

[callsign-cacti]

Okay, it's bed time

Pairing: Finnegan x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: COLLEGE WORKLOAD, Finn being sweet

Summary: When Finn comes over to your place to study, he doesn't expect to actually have to study. And he really doesn't expect the breakdown that ensues because of the studying.

Nevertheless, he finds himself staying...

Notes: This is extremely self indulgent, and was written during a breakdown after I realized exactly how much I have to do before sunday night. So of course, instead of actually doing the work, I wrote this.

Tagging my fellow Finn lovers

@sebsxphia @lorecraft @topguncortez @veritable-trash @callsignspark @callsignvalley

----

“Alright, that’s it! You’re done for the night!” Finn declared, reaching across the bed to pluck the textbook and your notes from your hand.

“No, just a few more minutes!” You cry, shifting away from him.

“Yeah, that’s what you said ten minutes ago.”

“Well, I haven’t really gotten this concept.” You flip the page, glancing back and forth between your textbook and your notes, brows furrowed in confusion.

“It’s an important one…” At this, Finn leaned closer to glance at your notes, hoping that maybe he help explain it to you so that you would finally set the goddamned books down.

His brows furrowed, leaning closer. You were a diligent note taker, hell, he couldn’t count how many times he had stolen your notebook for a night to copy down his own notes from yours instead of actually listening in the lecture. But these, these weren’t even on the topic you had outlined at the top of the page. They were barely even in English.

He moved quickly, knowing that the element of surprise would be the best way to go with you, because you had a damn strong grip when you wanted to. Plucking the books straight out of your hands, he tossed them behind him. They landed with a thunk on the floor, causing you to look up at him, confused as to what the sound was.

It took a few seconds for what had just happened to click, looking down at your lap only to find it empty.

“What the hell Finn?”

“Honey, you’re exhausted. You need sleep!”

“No!” You lunged as you protested, but Finn was quicker, and you were slow in your exhaustion, and he caught your shoulders, gently pushing you back onto the bed.

“Your notes barely made sense. You have been studying literally all day, you’re exhausted, and you don’t need to study any more tonight!”

This afternoon, when you had invited Finn to study with you after class, he had readily agreed, positive that it would be fifteen minutes of studying before he had you in his lap. But when he had barged in after his practice, book in hand and condom in his pocket, he had found you on the floor with papers surrounding you, angrily muttering to yourself as you shuffled through your physics textbook.

So he had plopped himself down next to you, and together, the two of you worked your way through the homework that had you practically tearing your hair out.

He was positive that he would be rewarded for helping you, smug as he thought about all the ways you could thank him as he watched you organize your notes, only to pull out another textbook and plop yourself down at the desk.

Since then, Finn had taken a nap, and raided your snack drawer, finished four chapters in his book, and had two beers. He was getting up to get the third when he noticed you swaying in your seat, eyes glazed as you stared down at your notes.

“Don’t tell me what to do Finn. I’m not fucking done, that exam is in two days, and if I don’t pass this then…”

“Your grade drops, and so does your GPA, and if your GPA drops, then you won’t get the internship, no internship, no job, no job no life. Yeah, I heard it the first ten times you told it to me, and every time after that. But what you’re doin right now isn’t helping, it’s hurting. You need some sleep and you can study in the morning!”

He knew he had lost you halfway through his little rant, your eyes sliding from him and back to your textbook. And then, you were up and out of the bed, darting across the room in an attempt to reach your stuff before he could grab you, only to trip over your legs.

But Finn was faster,launching himself off the bed, wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling you back to him.

“Little clumsy there, aren’tcha!”

You could hear Finn laughing, but it seemed like your head was filled with cotton. You needed to study more. Because failing wasn’t an option.

When he was met with your silence, he stopped laughing. Tears were falling down your face, lip wobbling as you desperately tried not to break down in front of him.

“Hey!” Gently, Finn placed you back on the bed, planting his hands on either side of you, and ducking down to break your gaze away from the textbook.

“Listen, you got this in the bag honey. You know you’re gonna ace this exam, second only to me, of course! But hey, not everyone can be perfect all the time, right?”

And that seemed to wake you up, because suddenly, you were shoving him off of you, sending him stumbling backwards.

“Fuck you Finn!”

“Woah, what…”

“Fuck you! Fuck you for barely even having to crack open a book and still get better grades then those of us who bust our asses. And you don’t even fuckin care. You don’t care about anything, except for going to fucking nationals and getting pussy and getting high and just having a great fucking time at college. Cause it should be fun right, why stress about it when you know you’ll probably waltz right out of this goddamned town and get some great job and be set for life!”

You pause, taking a deep breath, and Finn cautiously takes a reaches for you, but your far from done.

“Fuck you for trying to tell me that this doesn’t matter, because it does! This isn’t a joke Finn, this is my life!”

And then, he puts his foot right in his fucking mouth. “But it’s not your life, it’s one exam.” He knows it the second it comes out of his mouth. He doesn’t even have to see your eyes narrow, mouth dropping open as you fully absorb what he just said.

It’s not even like he had just threatened to kill a kitten or commit a murder, but with your reaction, he might as well have just said something equally as outlandish.

“One exam, just one fucking exam huh! Yeah Finn, it’s one exam that is worth forty percent of my grade. You’ve made it very clear that I have made it very clear that this is not just an exam, this is the exam. And sure, maybe I say that about every exam, but that’s only because every single fucking exam I take matters. Every single test or quiz or homework assignment I have done here matters, because if I do not work as hard as I possibly can, then I will have nothing.”

Finn was used to your anger. You got angry at him all the time. What Finn was not used to, was the tears that were currently welling in your eyes.

“I can’t fail this exam Finn! Because if I fail this exam, then it means I failed. And not just figuratively, literally. The last time I failed a test was in eighth grade. Do you know what my parents said to me Finn. Why didn’t you study harder, this was an easy test. What are you going to do better next time. The only reason I failed that exam is because I had another one that morning that I pulled an all nighter studying for. But they were so disappointed in me, and I hated it. Because it didn’t matter that I had not only passed the other exam with an A, but that I was the only student who had passed that exam at all.”

You took another ragged breath, the tears now falling freely as you kept ranting.

“And it’s not just academics, I make one misstep, make one bad decision, and it seems like everyone see’s it, and it never seems to go away.”

You trail off, not even realizing that you are literally swaying side to side. Tenatively, Finn steps to your side, sitting down next to you, and then you are collapsing into him, openly sobbing into his chest.

“You think I want to be like this. I am so, so fucking tired Finn. I’m tired of it all, and I just want… I just want…”

Finn moves then, reaching for you and hauling you onto his lap, hugging you into his chest, running his hand up and down your back. Your crying so hard that you can barely breathe, hardly registering the comfort that Finn is trying to give you.

“Hey, it’s okay!” He tries again.

“Fuck you Finn!” You scream at him, trying to push out of his lap.

“Honey, when was the last time you slept?” And he honestly doesn’t know if you’re ignoring him or if you can’t hear him over the sound of your sobs. One of his hands slides into your hair, gently undoing the ponytail and raking his fingers through it, pausing only to lightly scratch at your scalp.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, rocking you back and forth, one hand skimming up and down your back, the other tangled in your hair, but eventually, you calm down, the sobs turning into sniffles.

“Baby?”

At this, you tense. That was new. He had never called you that. Gently, he untangles his fingers from your hair, sliding it across your cheek to tilt your chin to meet his gaze.

“Hey, you are not a disappointment.” He barely gets the sentence out before your moving to try and tuck your head back into his chest, but he won’t let you.

“You’re the smartest person I know, which, I mean, we go to STU, so…” And with that, you are no longer trying to burrow into him, but trying to push him away.

“Ok, bad time for a joke. I get it now. But I’m being serious honey. You are so goddamned smart,” He plants a kiss on your forehead. “And funny!” Another kiss, but on your cheek. “And strong!” He switches cheeks, before moving down to your jaw. “And so goddamned sexy!” He tilts your head again.

“And you are going to go so, so far in life, because you are smart and driven and everything anyone could ever hope to be. But you cannot study any more tonight. It’s…” He pauses, glancing at the clock on the wall, “3:27 in the morning, and you need sleep. You were literally swaying like a scarf in the wind a few minutes ago. And before you yell at me again, if you go to sleep now, I’ll help you study in the morning. And before you yell at me for that, no, not the way I helped you study last weekend, although I will go to my grave swearing that it’s the best way to study!”

And now you were giggling, the tears still shiny on your cheeks as he reached up to wipe them away. Your eyes flutter closed, leaning into his hand on your face.

“So what do you say honey? Bed time?”

You crack your eyes open to find him staring at you with a soft expression that you are to tired to decipher at the moment.

“Yeah Finny, bed time.”

Notes: This is extremely self indulgent, and was written during a breakdown after I realized exactly how much I have to do before sunday night. So of course, instead of actually doing the work, I wrote this.

Tagging my fellow Finn lovers

@sebsxphia @lorecraft @topguncortez @veritable-trash @callsignspark @callsignvalley

Also, I have the first few parts of a new Finn series almost up and ready to go! The first part should be up Friday!

[faofinn]

Day 20 - Breakdown

Part 1 | Part 2

@mediwhumpmay

Steve finally appeared in the basement, frowning at the sight. “Finn? What’s going on?”

The drugs had given Fao a split second of relief before the pounding of his heart was back. He whimpered, feeling again on the verge passing out, darkness tinging his vision. 

"I can't do this. He needs cardioverting. You're gonna have to do it."

“Hang on, slow down. Talk me through what’s going on.” He said, moving to check the monitoring. 

"Just look at it." Finn grumbled. "I've sedated a bit, given some pain relief, but you need to do it."

“Have you given adenosine?” Steve asked, keen to coach Finn through it rather than just completely take over.

"I've only done dc cardioversion before. There's so many risks with adenosine…" He looked to Steve, so overwhelmed.

“Okay, but it’s risk management, yeah?”

"It's Fao, Steve. I can't do this."

“Of course you can.” Steve told him. 

"Steve, I can't."

“Yes you can. Come on, we’ll do it together.”

"Please."

“Take a moment, go and sort the drugs out.”

He gave a heavy breath. "Okay. Are…are we doing adenosine?"

“Yeah, we’re going to need to.”

"I can sort it."

“Thank you, Finn.”

"Is he gonna be okay?"

“Of course he is.” Steve busied himself doing his own checks whilst Finn sorted the meds. Fao was still struggling, in and out a little not just because of the sedation. It was hard to concentrate on anything, as much as he tried to listen to what they were saying. He couldn’t remember Steve arriving. Had he been there the whole time?

"I've got the adenosine."

“Perfect. Do you know what you’re doing with it?”

"Giving it to you." He tried.

“Or you could just give it.” 

"Steve."

“Come on, give it. You know what you’re doing, we don’t have time to waste.”

He did as he was told, his hands shaking and his own chest tight. Resentment only grew as Steve continued to push him, unable to separate work from family. 

“Good. Now we just have to watch and wait, keep an eye on that monitoring.” 

The sedation Finn gave had been enough to keep Fao hazy, but not completely out of it. As the drugs went in he whined, feeling the effect of it. It was awful, the overwhelming sense that he was going to die. It felt like he was dying too, as it suddenly became more difficult to breathe. 

"You're okay, you're okay." Finn moved to hold Fao's hand, stroking through his hair. "It won't take long."

He gripped Finn’s hand, panic in his eyes. It felt wrong.

"It's gonna make you feel shit for a bit. You're okay."

He wasn’t okay, he was the opposite of okay, and nobody was helping. He struggled against the blackness at the edge of his vision, terrified if he gave into it he wasn’t going to wake up again. 

Finn’s eyes didn't move from the monitors, watching the rhythms carefully. There was a pause, snd Finn’s own heart almost stopped. Sure enough though, it kicked back in, and straight back into the tachycardia.

Steve swore from the end of the bed. "Finn, we need another dose."

Once the feeling like he was going to die had passed, there was a moment where things eased for Fao and he felt like he could breathe. But nearly as soon as it had happened, it was gone, and he groaned, gripping Finn’s hand desperately. 

"We need to go elsewhere." Finn's voice wavered. "They can do more."

Steve shook his head. “We don’t have time, Finn, and we’ve done too much already.”

"Then you do something! It's not working!"

“Finn, breathe.”

"I'm trying but nothing is working and you're not helping!"

“We just have to follow the protocol, another dose and see how that goes.” Steve told him gently. “This is all they’d do in ED.”

[littlemoneytoes]

Has Foxy or Bonie ever had a breakdown? If so, how did everyone react?

yes they have Goldie and Freddy: try to calm down their lovers and let them cry it all out ( it would be the first time Foxy ever has a break down) Chica and Dottie: give them breathing space and listen to them talk and give some comfort snacks and drinks toy Freddy and Finn: will do their best or end up having a break down with Foxy or Bonnie or both Mangle and T.C: will do what they can to help them calm down Mari and ( I forgot B.B silly me): will give them comfort and let them talk it out and spend time at the prize corner or in mari's box toy Bonnie: just try his best to not say lame Shadow Freddy: wouldn't care and just straight up ignore them ( unless it's Pete) Pete: will try his best and just either pet or brushed their fur to soothe them ( this works with his siblings but mostly on Finn) Mike and Henry: will hug and cradle them for comfort and let them cry it all out Welp that is all thank you all for the questions :D

[ghost-town-story]

Hello and happy STS! :D This would be especially hilarious for The Astral Chronicles, but feel free to choose which WIP you inflict this question onto. ;) If your main characters were sucked into our world, The Devil Is a Part-Timer-style (i.e., dropped into our world without the resources/status they had in theirs, transformed into basically human with no powers, and the only thing they've got are the clothes on their back and their memories), how well would they fare? What would they do to survive, who's failing at adapting and how, and most importantly, who is working at McDonald's?

Oh my god this question is great

The funny thing about this for Astral is that I actually have a half-canon storyline where this actually happens. And considering Aiden is from our world, the answer ends up being "find Aiden and enlist his help in getting back to Astral"

If they're tossed into our world with no way of getting back tho, hmm... Rose would be doing her best to adapt, but also be having several breakdowns of "oh god I left my brother behind D:". Jared would absolutely get fired from most minimum wage jobs because he has a problem with authority, but he also has the energy of "will scavenge garbage cans if that's what it takes."

Will and Finn would be the ones to end up working at a McDonald's, as an "ok, this is what we have to do to survive I guess." There would definitely be a lot of I'm so done with this shit looks happening between them though. Customer service yo *jazz hands*

I also thought of Space Pirates for this question, because there's a lot more differences between that world and ours and it's very entertaining, so here goes:

Reizora, Artemis, and Deva adapt the best. Reizora spends the first hour or so straight up crying because Artemis has her body back, then she kicks Artemis onto bed rest and starts figuring out how the hell to make sure she and her crew survive this new world.

The answer is basically the same way they survived their world: Robin-Hood-type piracy XD They'd end up with a reputation for fucking with corporations and helping out the local community of wherever they end up.

Artemis would accept the bed rest mandate for maybe a week before she gets tired of Reizora's overprotectiveness and insists on joining the shenanigans. There are things she misses about her old world, but she can't deny she likes having a body again and seeing that associated guilt lifted from Reizora.

Syl (the Medic, alien with many tentacles) and the Engineer (unnamed so far, round and fluffy with many arms) are both annoyed with their lack of appendages. The Engineer will use her mouth and feet to hold things instead.

Aeryz has the hardest time adapting. She has a hard time adjusting to the fact she can't shapeshift anymore, she hates not being amongst the stars, and depending on where they all end up, she might not even be able to see them. She really just wants to go home :(

As for the Imperial kids, I think it would be really funny for Caelan and Rossano to be working at McDonald's in this scenario. I just have this image of Rossano as a wannabe influencer who's always like "I'm gonna quit the second I get enough followers, just you wait." Meanwhile Caelan is just like "ya know what? This is 10 million times less stressful than the rest of my life has been. I'm content staying here forever."

[robronrewatch2023]

June 8th summary

We watched from 2014/12/01 to 2014/12/16.

Someone has a prang with Moira and she has to go to hospital. The guy brings his car to the garage, asking Aaron to sort it, but then it goes missing. Aaron thinks Ross might have taken it, but he denies it. Cain puts the fear of god into the guy for hurting Moira.

Chrissie asks Aaron to find a flashy classic car for Robert. Robert blows hot and cold with Aaron before faking a car breakdown and kissing him. He backs off quickly but later finds Aaron at the garage and they have sex. Despite this, Robert claims he is straight and says that Chrissie doesn't need to know everything about him. Aaron invites Finn for a drink but spends the whole time staring at Robert before telling Robert that he has bashed his car up. Robert goes out to look at it before coming back to confront Aaron; they get angry and physical before kissing and going upstairs to have sex again.

Diane gives Jack's wedding ring to Andy, which Robert is upset and hurt by. He goes for a sulky walk when Aaron picks him up and they end up in Bar West where Robert is freaked out to be there and seethes silently for 45 minutes before ranting about the rings; Aaron thinks he's overreacting. They have a bit of an argument then Robert storms out. After Katie has a go at him too, Robert phones the jewellers, asking if they can do inscriptions inside the rings.

Adam gets out of prison and is adorable with Aaron (I friendship them a lot). Chrissie recognises Ross's voice as being one of the people in the fake burglary; Robert manages to stop her phoning the police by saying he'll go and talk to Ross, then pretending he beat him up enough to get in trouble himself if Chrissie phones the police now.

[lizisshortforlizard]

Living Dangerously - Chapter 22

Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster?

A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs.

But would they die for it?

Jurassic Park Novel/Jurassic Park Film (1993)

Viewpoint: 3rd person female oc

Warnings: light swears, relationship breakdown, butt-load of angst

Wordcount: ~65.7k (22 Chapters) [incomplete]

Tagging: @heresthefanfiction @howlingmadlady @arrthurpendragon @ocappreciation

Read on Ao3

Chapter 21 | Chapter 23

How’m I Gonna Sleep - Tim Finn

“You’re joking.” Lizzy objected flatly.

”Do I sound like I’m joking?” Muldoon didn't back down.

She shook her head in bewilderment, face like a smacked arse. “Why?”

“Your skills are required. I can’t say any more just yet.”

”I thought you were on my side.”

”And you have a job to do. You’re going. Pack your bags.”

Lizzy didn’t say another word. She turned around and walked straight out of his office before she told him exactly where he could shove that idea. What the Hell was happening?

Richardson might be the one to pull a fast one on her like this, but Muldoon?

She felt betrayed more than anything. She'd thought they were friends. He didn’t even ask her if she’d consider it. Just told her.

Pack your bags.

What exactly had she done wrong?

***

Tom was outside, in front of the still-incomplete visitor centre, doing shirtless pull-ups off a tree branch, all while smoking a cigarette.

“…Seven…c’mon, come to Daddy…eight…Hey, Liz!” He stopped and dangled, sweat dripping off him, when he saw her heading his way. “Betcha can’t do more than three of these!”

No answer. Huh, that was weird. She’d normally leap at the chance to prove him wrong.

”Where ya goin’, lady?”

She kept her head ducked, hurrying along. Tom didn't like that at all. He dropped down from the branch and picked up his shirt, mopping his brow.

“Liz! Talk to me."

Still nothing.

Tom frowned and stubbed his cigarette out, pulling his shirt back on before sprinting after her.  

***

“Armstrong, come in Armstrong, over.” Arnold sounded supremely fed up as he tried to reach her. Kathy and Rico were beside him, tracking the weather systems for the next few days and working out how their dinosaur care plans might be affected.

"She isn't in the park." Kathy called to him. "She went to Muldoon's."

"Then why the Hell is she not answering, huh?! Somethin's goin' on, I'm tellin ya!" Arnold threw his radio down and spoke into his phone instead. "No, no, nothing's wrong, buddy. It's a big island, that's all."

Tom's voice drawled over the radio. "Dr Armstrong isn't feeling well, can I take a message?"

"She with you, Kennedy?" Arnold asked grumpily.

There was a break as Tom clearly consulted with someone off-air. "...who wants to know?"

"Her New York man's on the phone. It's important, apparently. Needs to get her butt down here, now. Over and out." Arnold clicked off and yelled to Kathy again. "I told you this tie was a mistake, Kitty-Kat! I am not a messenger boy!"

***

An important call from Simon. Something awful must have happened. He'd only rang her yesterday, when he'd agreed to visit.

Lizzy wasn't sure she could take any more bad news so close together. Sorry she whispered to Ray as she hurried in, he was glaring at her furiously.

“I'm here. Who died?" She asked abruptly as she took the phone.

“Huh? Nobody died, Liz! I just have some good news. Some really great news, in fact. Gonna make your whole month, babe. Couldn't wait until I saw you in person."

“Out with it then!" Maybe a little snappy, she realised.

“Uh, okay, well since I was promoted to partner at the law firm, my folks gave me a bit of money. Rather a lot of money, actually, and Liz-“ Simon paused for effect. “-we’re getting married in a year. A year next Tuesday to be exact. I did it. I booked the Plaza.”

“Oh.” Lizzy didn’t know what to say. “I, uh-…” She should be excited. But dread was rapidly filling her from the toes of her boots upwards.

Kathy, Rico and Ray had stopped conversing and were quietly watching her, sensing something was wrong.

“And my mom’s picked out a dress for you. Isn’t that great?”

What?

She fumbled for whoever’s hand was closest and grabbed it before sinking down in a chair.

“Hermana?” Rico was immediately concerned. “Lizzy?”

Suddenly she was struggling to take a breath. Her chest felt like she was being crushed inwards by a boa constrictor. Kathy stared at her hard for a moment before scurrying off to source a glass of water.

”Liz? Isn’t that great?” Simon repeated.

She didn't really hear him. She was back in Africa. Standing in the pink dawn glow, looking out to the horizon, listening to the waking calls of animals and birds echoing across the plains.

New York was crowded, and cold, and a different kind of noise. The grey kind.

Then she thought of Costa Rica, her new home. African animals replaced by dinosaurs bellowing through the hills. Her job, the job of a lifetime. The countless doors that had opened for her and her research because she was working at Jurassic Park. Simon had never understood why she just couldn’t stop, couldn't give it up, and he would never try to.

It was all so very clear now. Whether he visited or not, they just weren't going to work. They had both changed, no longer two kids in New York City, too different now.

“Uh, hello? Liz? Say something, please.” Now Simon sounded worried.

“You should have asked.” She replied quietly.

“Sorry, the line broke up just then. What did you say?”

She suddenly felt unbearably hot. The control room was so stuffy. Her breathing was shallower, she felt like she couldn't breathe out, only in, and that her ribcage might burst from the pressure.

Lizzy had always wanted a family. A real one. Ten years ago, when she first met Simon she had thought that meant a husband and kids. A Volvo and a house you paid a mortgage on. Picket fences. The American Dream. But her friends on Isla Nublar, Jeff back in Africa, that was her family.

Falling into fits of laughter with Kathy when they tried and failed to toast marshmallows on the stovetop without setting off the fire alarm. Gerry making her coffee just right. Ray's sarcastic comments that always made her laugh no matter her mood. That was home. And Simon wasn't going to ever be part of it.

She couldn't, wouldn't get married. She didn't want it, and nobody was listening to her.

“That’s very generous of them-“ She blinked hard to keep the tears in check. “But I told you, tried to tell you, I don’t want a big wedding.”

“Yeah, but this way you don’t need to worry. It’s taken care of. It’s happening.”

It’s happening. He hadn't even asked her. Africa had never seemed further away. And now Isla Nublar was being ripped from her, twice in the same day.

“Babe...aren’t you excited?”

“Simon!” She started to panic. “There isn’t going to be anyone on my side of the room in New York!”

There was a long pause, and she knew she was in trouble.

“Mom said you’d be like this.” He told her flatly. “You’d find a reason to hate it.”

“I thought we were talking about getting married in Africa-“ She tried to pacify him.

“Well, it isn’t always about what you want, Liz!” Simon was clearly upset. “I’ve waited long enough for you. We need to start having kids, before-“

“Before what?”

“Before you’re too old!”

“What did you just say?” Lizzy raised her voice, and for once, Simon didn't back down.

“You know what I mean! We’re thirty-four, and well…no offence, but time’s running out.”

“What’s happening?” Tom walked into the control room. "You havin' a team party without me? Nice, real nice." Kathy hushed him.

“I can’t do this.” Lizzy couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth.

“What do you mean?” Simon’s tone became negotiating when he finally realised she was genuinely upset. “Look, if it’s that big of a deal to you we can postpone, again-“

“No, we can’t.”

“It’s fine. Maybe the year after next.”

It wasn’t fine. Nothing was fine.

“No. I can't do this. I don’t want to get married. To you…I don’t want to get married to you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

She didn't deny.

“Lizzy? Tell me you don’t mean it.”

“I can’t-“ Lizzy gulped and crushed the life out of Rico’s hand. “I don’t want to anymore. You and me. I’m so sorry-“

The disconnect tone sounded. He had hung up.

She slowly put the phone down herself, and realised what she’d done. Regret, pain, and most worrying of all, relief, filled her to the brim.

Arnold spoke first. "Baby girl, I'm so sor-"

Lizzy held up a hand. She wanted quiet. Her mind was going off the rails.

"Shit..." Tom wasn't much help.

Kathy pushed the glass of water towards her. "What do you need?"

"Si, hermana. Anything."

Lizzy got up from her chair and took off. She didn’t know where she was going, just that there were too many people staring at her and it was too much for her to stand. She ran out into the park.  

***

”Lizzy, hun!” Kathy screamed into the trees. She was getting desperate. It had been hours. The sun was sinking low, Lizzy wouldn’t stay out all night…would she?

Damn, but the island was a lot safer than the middle of the Namibian bush. It was still warm enough to sleep out. Lizzy was sure as Heck stubborn.

But accidents happen. She might have tripped and broken her ankle, and be lying unconscious at the bottom of a valley.

“Where are you, girl?” She whispered. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Want me to round up the guys for a search party?” Isaac asked her. “We could check the motion sensors too?”

“Worth a shot, but she might not be moving. Cameras won’t pick her up.” Kathy groaned.

“Well then, what do we do?”

“We don’t need a search party.” Kathy turned to walk back towards the lodge. “Unless it's a party of one."

***

Kathy made a shooing motion and nodded towards the door. "Go on, get out there. Do what you do best. Go hunt."

"It's a bit more complicated than that. And why wasn't I informed before now?" Muldoon asked gravely. "Have you been making decisions again, Baker?"

"Tom told me what happened. Between you and Lizzy. That she didn't take the idea of moving to Sorna very well." Kathy answered quietly.

"She did not." Massive understatement. Although at least he wasn't the main reason she'd done a runner. In a rather interesting development, Armstrong was no longer engaged. Which meant that his plan for Sorna had gone awry. But Muldoon couldn't worry about that yet. At this moment in time, she was a missing person. His priority was to retrieve her, and quickly.

"Well, she's not back, it's dark and we're out of options. Can you find her or what?" Kathy demanded.

"Almost certainly. She won’t get very far, at least." Muldoon grumbled as he headed to the door.

"Need some help, boss?" Tom offered.

"Hunted more vicious things than her, I'll be fine." Muldoon answered. "Maybe I should take a shock prod though, what do you reckon?"

Kathy just stared at him, open-mouthed. Even Tom looked stunned.

"I was joking." He muttered. "Christ, that bloody woman."

***

Think like Armstrong.

Damn, now that was a scary notion.

At least they were on an island. Even so, thirty square miles was a massive search area. He had to narrow it down.

So, let’s go about this logically. If he knew her, which he did of course, then this disappearing act was her way of saying she needed help. She just didn’t know how to ask, and she hated appearing weak in front of the lads.

Meaning, she wanted someone to come and get her, bring her back. She had to know it would most likely be him, since he was the only person on the island that could track worth a damn, except for Kennedy, perhaps.

So where would Armstrong go, that only he might think of?

Muldoon braked hard and put the Jeep in reverse, going back on himself to take the other turning that led towards the tyrannosaur paddock.

Of course that’s where she is.

He was certain she would be perched on the very same tree she’d riddled with bullets not long ago. A place not obvious to just anyone.

Fortunately, Muldoon wasn’t just anyone.

He chose to kill the ignition and stalk the last few hundred metres. Headlights and engine noise might scare her off, if she thought she was in trouble.

Muldoon was actually enjoying himself. Out in the park alone, at night, was a rare opportunity. Good to know he hadn’t lost his touch. It had been a long while, since he had needed to hunt for…anything, really. And this time, he had no weapon.

Because he was hunting for a wildcat. He found the clearing where the fallen tree was, without much difficulty.

”I know you’re here, Armstrong.”

He hadn’t heard her, yet. Just a feeling. That from somewhere close by, he was being watched. And his feelings, instincts, call it what you will, were very rarely wrong.

“Hurry up and say something, woman, before I trip over you.” No girl this time. He did value his life, somewhat.

If he remembered correctly the tree was off to the left, in the direction of where the tyrannosaur was rumbling around in her paddock.

Muldoon reached for his torch and scanned the ground in front of him.

Ah, there it was. He had been right all along. Boot prints tracked away from him through the mud. Looked about a size seven US. Yes, she was definitely here, definitely wanted someone to come and get her. She knew better than to wear her distinctively small boots in boggy ground if she was trying to hide from him. The prints were partially filled with water, and the surface wobbled every few seconds. Rexy was on the move.  

“Over here.” A small Scottish voice finally spoke up. “How’d you know?”

Muldoon pointed the torch in the right direction. Sure enough, hazel eyes were staring back at him in the beam of light.

“Because I know you, daft bugger.” He went to sit down next to her on the tree trunk. “Can’t hide from me.”

They were silent for a few minutes, until his radio hissed, earning a quick grunt from the startled tyrannosaur.

“-uldoon, give me some good news. Can’t see you on the monitor anymore, over.” Arnold complained.

“Found her.”

”Oh! Oh thank God- Is she-“ Kathy started babbling away until Muldoon answered she’s fine curtly and switched his radio off. They could wait.

”I had to leave, it was all a bit much.” Her voice was hoarse. She’d been crying. “Just needed some space.”

“Nobody can hear you scream out here. Except the tyrannosaur.”

”That was kind of the point.” She let her head flop back, staring up at the stars.

“Still a bloody stupid thing to do. Running off like that.”

Away from her problems, yet again.

”You must be fuming.” She stated unhappily.

“Baker’s the one who’ll crucify you when we get back.”

Just glad you’re safe. He thought the words but didn’t say them. “Did you ever pull a stunt like this with Blacklaw?” Distracting her was a good move.

“No, but he grounded me once.”

Muldoon turned his laugh into a cough. The thought of his mate attempting to ground an unrelated woman in her twenties who wasn’t much shorter than him was quite funny.

“What on Earth did you do?”

“I called Sarah Harding a c-, er…the c-word. To her face.” Lizzy grimaced. “Apparently it’s much more offensive in the States.”

“Practically a friendly greeting, back in Glasgow, I’d imagine.”

”That’s what I said!” Lizzy groaned. "Thought she was going to bloody bite me."

"Wouldn't put it past her."

"At least I won't run into her anymore if she comes to visit Gerry, since I’m meant to be packing, I suppose.”

Muldoon shifted uncomfortably. Ah, Sorna. Now he had his wits back about him, maybe he had been too hasty about sending Armstrong away. He’d acted out of spite, hadn’t asked, just told her.

”Don’t worry about Sorna at the moment.” He said eventually. “We’ll talk about it properly in the morning. When we’re both more rational.”

”Really? Do I get some input this time?” That seemed to cheer her up a little.

”You can plead your case.”

She sniffed loudly and nodded.

“Shall I give you a lift back?” It was more of a threat than a question.

There was the faintest scuff of gravel as she planted her feet further apart. Was she really about to give him the runaround?

Oh no, he wasn’t having that.

“Careful. If you think I won’t drag you back inside that Jeep just to get Baker off my case, think again.”

She was silent, the cogs were turning. Trying to figure out if she was faster than him. In the dark. Without her glasses.

Not a chance he thought.

Was she going to bolt? Or just feeling well enough now to wind him up about attempting it?

He liked either choice, to be honest. Both meant she’d forgiven him.

“Don’t do it, Armstrong.” He warned. “Don’t you dare run.”

I’d catch you. And it would make my day.

She turned to him with a tiny smile. “Yeah, okay, you win. Let’s head back.”

***

On the journey back, Lizzy took off her engagement ring.  She rolled the Jeep window down, looked out at the jungle, down at the band, debating, then rolled the window back up again, still with the ring in the palm of her hand.

”Say you lost it. Believable enough.” Muldoon offered. He’d seen the state of her bedroom.

”Better not. It was his great-grandma’s. Survived a concentration camp. Makes me a complete arsehole.” Lizzy decided. “I’ll send it back.”

”Shame, that rock would probably put my daughter through university.”

”How is she?” Lizzy was grateful for the change in subject.

”Thoroughly enjoying being the class elephant expert, thanks to you.”

She nodded, pleased. She’d spent ages on that book. Good to know her efforts were appreciated.

Lizzy felt guilty now that Muldoon had gone to all this trouble for her. She would've come back of her own accord, eventually.

She didn't remember running from the control room, or even what direction she went in once she left the building. Only that she somehow reached the tyrannosaur paddock at twilight just as the quartz lights were coming on, all over the park. Her favourite time of day.

It had seemed a good place to stop. Not too far from home, but quiet, where she wouldn't be disturbed. She'd found the fallen tree and sat for a long time as the darkness drew in around the island, listening to the bugs buzzing around and the stegosaurs lowing like cattle as they gathered together for the night.

And then Muldoon had found her. Lizzy surprised herself with how glad she was to hear his voice in the darkness, despite their falling-out.

She was even more relieved, yet  surprised he didn’t have Kathy in tow, the renowned over-thinker. Lizzy didn’t want to analyse every detail of her break-up right at that minute. Maybe never.

What did it matter? It was over now.

Muldoon put the Jeep in neutral and idled out of view of the visitor complex for a minute, turning to speak to her. “I can drive you around the other side, if you’d rather. Sneak you in through the garage. You don’t have to face everyone just yet.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. Can’t avoid them forever.”

He nodded and they moved off again. Kathy was waiting for them on the steps at the sound of the engine in the distance, hopping from one foot to the other, trying to see if there were two people inside the Jeep.

As they drew up Lizzy spoke again.

”Thank you.”

”For what, exactly?”

”Just for knowing."

He had a feeling she didn’t mean how he'd worked out exactly where to find her. Lizzy got out of the Jeep and walked straight into Kathy's arms, holding her tightly in a hug long after the vehicle moved off again.

Muldoon ended up sitting in the parked Jeep by himself for a while, doing some thinking of his own in the garage.

Armstrong was single. It hadn't really sunk in yet.

Since she’d floored Richardson with that technical question within the first hour of her first day, he’d fancied her something terrible. And it was only getting worse the more time they spent together.

Simply put, she was brilliant. And she wasn't the only one who wanted a challenge.

But in a way, this was worse, much worse. Before, she was completely off-limits, for obvious reasons.

Now there was hope, but Muldoon's hopes had been dashed before. He wasn’t sure if he could take much more of it.

***

Thanks for reading!

The chapter title song is one that Tim Finn wrote just before he and Greta Scacchi split up in 1989. Greta in the 90s is my faceclaim for Lizzy. The song seemed fitting for this one 🖤

And Lizzy and Simon are through. A comfortable relationship isn’t always a happy one, unfortunately.

[x-authorship-x]

ngl I'm not into Star wars but watching your breakdown has been a riot >:3 take this as permission to talk ig :^)

WELL IM GLAD YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, ANON 🤡 (/jk)

Literally I get it though because I have no clue where this came from, I was so uninterested in the movies as a kid and the new trio? Comically shit plotlines all round and now I'm actually in superhell 🙃

It's funny, I've been going a bit insane but I'm not sure I have much in the way of words for it? I have a lot of words in WIPs tho, if that counts lol

I think what's got me is this idea of Knights... serving this idea of peace and goodness, swords and pseudo-parents and vows and magic included, alongside men who were bred for war but deserve gentleness and respect... And SO MANY opportunities for fix it Fics, to straight up bulldoze canon (my favourite past time) and let's not forget world building and different cultures to explore like the Mandalorians or the Clones or the Stormtroopers or the Togruta etc etc like....hell yeah (I love a world with great potential AND shit canon choices to steamroll)

I just- I love Obi wan, Cody, Finn, Din and Luke... a lot :') I will write them stories and they will have such visceral fight scenes and overly descriptive prose and brooding introspection and transcendently delicious hurt comfort 🤌✨

[hawkinsp0st]

💛🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️💛

so this post is stuck in my mind and somehow spurred a hellfire club mike wheeler/cali mike wheeler breakdown! i’m really excited to talk about this one bc it appears so intentional! and i get to combine 2 of my truest loves: costume design and gay ppl.

let’s discuss.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

from 4x4 thru 4x8, i think we’re lowkey seeing… single mike, right? like, he thinks him and el are basically done? so during this post, keep that thought in ur back pocket like eddie’s black handkerchief <3

~~~🌵❤️‍🔥🌙~~~

something i find striking about the burying the body/top of car desert scenes, during this period of “yeah me and el are prob broken up,” is that mike is back in his hellfire color scheme—he’s wearing black&white, with red, orange, gold and metallic tones everywhere.

there’s no red/gold/metallic tones on mike (except his silver belt!!), but it’s everywhere behind mike & will, especially as they dig the grave. the shovels they’re holding have metal handles; the rusting cars behind both mike and will during their staring shots are red & orange; the desert sand/hills behind mike are red-orange; will’s color palette for his cali crew outfit is yellow/gold; i even noticed on first watch that byler’s cheeks/lips are super flushed during that triple take moment.

tldr; key byler scene where they stare at each other for several shots, and they also open up to each other. hellfire mike color palette everywhere, and it’s the only time in the show we see mike associated w these colors except for 4x1 and 4x8. coincidence? no way.

~~~🏴‍☠️🕷📓~~~

let’s take a trip to 4x1. hellfire mike, my beloved.

i love hellfire mike bc he was so Himself. i don’t even think that version of mike, even tho it was only a day apart, would’ve snapped at will in rink o mania. it’s literally just when mike is trying to force himself into his cookie cutter straight relationship, wearing pastels and shit, that he gets frustrated. “shitty knockoff” mike wheeler, not his authentic self.

i could talk about eddie and hellfire’s impact on mike all day. it’s not explored through substantial screentime the way dustin’s bond with eddie is, bc it’s a different bond, but visually it’s clear the connection they wanted us to make—mike is evolving into a mini eddie.

from a costume/hair/makeup design perspective, there’s certainly a reason joe quinn has long, dark hair and a pale, fresh face in the cafeteria scene just like finn, and that same black&white color scheme as mike does w the hellfire shirt (just w a jean jacket over top and jewelry on, the only major differences—mike doesn’t have all the embellishments yet bc he’s just coming into himself—still getting used to not wearing “whatever his mommy bought him from the goddamn gap”. i find it interesting that clothing specifically is brought up in this scene; they want us to notice).

and then that night at the hellfire game, eddie doesn’t have his jacket anymore, so he and mike have essentially the same exact visual, w the exception of eddie’s tattoos, rings, and other jewelry (long dark hair, bangs, hellfire shirt. it’s giving clones). eddie even wears a black watch :-) basically, they are trying to show us that aesthetically, mike is growing into eddie but isn’t quite there yet, isn’t quite as unhinged and bold.

this visual parallel contrasts dustin’s bond w eddie; dustin wears that colorful/bright white shirt over his hellfire tshirt, blocking out most of the black sleeves, and they put him in his blue and white “thinking cap” hat rather than a black or red one. this is bc dustin’s bond w eddie is more emotional and bright, while mike is inspired by eddie’s darker look and vibe in an aesthetic and personality sense, and i think we’re supposed to notice that because their looks are designed so similarly.

like, they could’ve put joe quinn in any wig to be eddie, but they gave him one that reminds us of mike wheeler. i’m pretty sure they even straightened finn’s hair this season, which they weren’t doing as much previously (remember how fluffy it was in s3). i mean, look at this pic. this is the exact same queer mf and their token straight best friend.

~💥🍒🎸~

mike under the influence of eddie/hellfire is his truest form and you can’t convince me otherwise:

he takes risks. he doesn’t listen to his parents, doesn’t care if he stays out too late playing hellfire (it’s giving bathroom stall graffiti mike wheeler from s2). he goes around school and asks everyone & their mother to play hellfire, barging into science labs and wrestling team practice and the school newspaper. he puts himself out there, passionately, talking with his hands about the game he loves, which he didn’t even want to play last season when el was around—growth and a return to his more authentic self thanks to hellfire.

he talks about “bullshit media propaganda,” which is something we just watched him learn from eddie in the cafeteria scene. he’s vibing hard with eddie’s values. this is not the mike wheeler we see arriving in california or snapping at will in rink o mania, but it is the one we get a glimpse of again in the desert.

🖤♥️⭐️ hellfire mike = hawkins/dnd dungeon master mike vibes. the mike that will fell in love with. ⭐️♥️🖤

mike + will + hawkins/dnd = mike’s happy place—“it’s not the same without you.”

~♟♣️📞~

back in the desert in 4x5, the use of this color palette shows us that mike feels at home and like himself again, because he’s with will. the longer he’s away from el, the more he’s shedding this artificial skin…

…until will mentions “what if they don’t like the truth.” that resonates with mike and he gets scared of what that means. he retreats. he covers back up, goes back to wearing Ted Wheeler Turquoise™️

but we almost reached something there, in the above pic. (i also like the green plants & 7up can—green = byler reconciliation in sight 🌿)

~🚨🪓🩸~

the next time we see red associated w mike wheeler, it’s the painting scene.

and of course the bright red resonates with him. of course his smile can light up a room in this moment, of course he finds it stunning—this is who he is. the dragon is bright red. the shadows and outlines are black. the crown on the shield is gold. and the weapons are metallic…

💔▪️👑 hellfire colors. 👑 ▪️💔

this visual thread suggests that mike feels truly like himself, and truly at home, when he sees will’s stunning canvas. (god i feel like i got punched in the throat, that’s so fucking beautiful.)

not to mention we’ve got tons of green in there for the forest background, which we can think of as not only a byler reconciliation symbol, but also the forest is a major symbol of hawkins—where will was kidnapped, where el was hiding out, where we see eddie and jason run to when they’re in distress. so this forest imagery calls back to hawkins mike, dnd dungeon master mike, looking for will in the woods mike, “it’s not the same without you” mike.

💛🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️💛

in conclusion: s4 uses the hellfire club color palette—black, white, red, gold/flame orange/yellow, & metallic—to show us that mike looks up to eddie munson and is starting to form independent, subversive ideas—“bullshit media propaganda.”

🍭🧢🚙🍬 = ❌❌❌👎👎👎

it also shows us (via mike’s cali outfit and the bright, candy colored rink o mania setting) that this self actualization of mike’s only regresses when he tries to be el’s boyfriend.

🌲🌲🌲🏡👾 = 🎱🖤🏴‍☠️‼️💌🐝🌼☀️

mike’s only place he feels he can be himself is playing dnd, in hawkins, with will—but based on what we saw in the s3 fight, there’s some elusive reason mike doesn’t let himself have all 3 at the same time. he clings to his relationship with el, but it only holds him back.

and based on the desert scene, the with will aspect is the most important part. the callback to the hellfire color palette in the desert w/ will & in the painting scene shows us that mike can feel at home anywhere in the world with will—hence the soft looks in the van scene, hence thanks, i needed that.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[just-a-bit-of-a-nerd]

The thought of losing you

Request from @realjennyshelby :45 & 59 Poe Dameron. I need the hurt/comfort of it all :>

45:They watch you get tortured

59:You lose your baby

Author’s note: Damn girl are you trying to make Poe fans cry?? This is def an angst.

Warnings: Torture, death, cursing, some blood, and a future breakdown for anyone who reads this :)

Summary: Poe broke a promise that he needed to keep. So he makes a new one, and if he breaks this one...

Here he was...Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance, the most cool and collected person that you know, your husband, the person who was supposed to be the father of your unborn child. A sobbing mess in front of you while you screamed from the overwhelming pain you felt throughout your entire being.

It’s been a really bad day.

It started off normal. You and Poe were as happy as ever. Just 2 weeks before this you told Poe the great news that you were pregnant. The joy on that mans face when he found out was contagious. He spend those whole 2 amazing weeks of happiness bragging about how his amazing wife was going to bring life into the world. He told everyone at least 3 times that you were carrying his future boy or girl. The excitement in his eyes when he told Finn that as soon as he or she could walk he’d take them straight to his x-wing and teach them how to be a better flyer than he is. 

“Ya know, once the war is over, the General is gonna wish they had someone like my future kid to fly their planes,” he’d brag to anyone who had the attention spam to listen.

Both of you were a little worried about having a kid in the middle of the war but Poe assured you that he’d keep you and his little pilot save from anything that would want to harm the two of you.

Boy was he wrong.

The General had one small mission for you. Even though you were pregnant you could still do small missions to do your part, you where only 2 weeks along. And although Poe didn’t like the fact that you had to go to this one  you told him that you were only going to pick up some supplies for the Resistance. That it was only a one day trip. That you’d be home and just fine before he even knows you were gone.

Boy were you wrong.

The mission went smoothly the whole time you were collecting everything that you needed. It was the trip back that took a turn. 

Some how the dark side tracked you down. How you still have no clue. Took you and everyone your traveled with hostage. Thankfully one made it out. Some pilot who’s name you never cared to learn but you will once you get home. If you get home. She informed the General who then informed Poe. 

“Hey buddy the general wants to see you now, she says it’s important,” Finn told Poe as he was cleaning his x-wing.

“What is it?” He questioned a hint of worry flowed into his tone of voice. His mind went straight to you thinking the worst, and he wasn’t really wrong, “Is it Y/N? Is everything okay?”

Finn shook his head, “I don’t know man but she sounded...scared, I’ve never heard her use that tone of voice.”

If anyone thought Poe was panicking before, he definitely was now. He ran with Finn to find the General with worry spread all over her face.

“Poe...” she hesitated, at that point he knew it was about you. And whatever it was with you it was bad. Finn was right, he’s never heard this much worry in the Generals voice. “I’m so sorry, but somethings happened to Y/N and her team,” she said, witch broke Poe into a million pieces. Just knowing that the love of his life, the woman carrying his child, the person who he intended to spend the rest of his life with was in danger. Witch brought the thought of, ‘will I get to spend the rest of my life with her?’ 

“What’s happened?” He questioned, tears forming in his eyes getting ready to fall. And he hasn’t even heard the worst of it yet.

“Her and her team somehow flew right into a trap,” she started, “The dark side must’ve found out where they were heading and kidnapped all of them but one pilot. We’re lucky she made it here or we’d have no idea that all this had happened,” she explained to Poe. They worry never leaving her tone or face and making Poe’s worry bigger, “We are creating a rescue team as we speak to go get them. And I don’t think I’d even have to ask for you to lead it,” she finished.

Poe’s heart was racing. The things that he thought were happening to you were far from pleasant, “You bet your ass, when do we leave?” He questioned with determination in his face and tone. 

“No later than 10 minutes,” she reported, “be ready to leave.”

And as that left her mouth, Poe left Finn’s side as he made he way to his x-wing to prepare. He kept telling himself that you were okay. That the baby was okay. That you both would make it home save and sound. And at the end of the day he’d cry in your arms and fall asleep with you by his side. 

Poe was the first ready to leave and as he waited he thought of ways he could get you out of there without hurting anyone besides the bad guys. Witch he was very open to that thought. He wanted to be the one to save you, to take you in his arms and carry you to his ship. To hold you while you told him what happened. He wanted to be the first to see if you were still alive. 

After a little while longer of waiting they were off. It was him, Rey, Finn, and about 30 other random people he didn’t care to list in his head at the moment. He trusted Finn almost as must as he trusted you. And he knew that Finn cared about you enough to give his life for you. Not that you or Poe would ever ask him to do that. And Rey, well the reasoning for Rey was self-explanatory. Her power of the force was a huge upper hand and Poe wanted as many of those as he could get. 

Poe and the team made their way to the base five of the team members shot at the ship for a diversion as the other 28 on them flew in. Him, Rey, and Finn got out of their ships grouping with the others. 

“Everyone here knows who their teaming up with and who their looking for. Remember, this is a rescue mission not an attack. Try to stay unseen and quite,” Poe ordered. He was in General mode. As he always was on missions but this one he multiplied it by 100, his desperation to find you as soon as possible was taking over him.

The team agreed and split into their groups, his team being with Rey and Finn of course. They were off looking for you. They quietly made their way through the hallways of the huge ship. Listing to anything that might give away where you are. After about five minutes later, finding nothing they ran into a group of storm troopers. They were all getting ready to attack when Rey spoke up.

“You will put your weapons down,” she ordered in a forceful tone.

“We will put our weapons down,” they repeated obediently placing their guns of the floor.

“One of you will tell us where you are keeping Y/N while the others stay still,” she ordered once more in that same forceful tone.

“One of us will tell you where we are keeping Y/N while the others stay still,” they all repeated while one walked forward.

“Keep down this hall and she will be on the second door to the left,” he informed us.

“Thank you,” Rey replied with a cocky smile on her face as the three passed the storm troopers. 

They quickly found your room and right on time, tons of machines came charging at them.

“Poe, go get Y/N me and Rey will handle this!” Finn shouted.

Poe didn’t need any further instructions. He shot the lock off the door and ran inside. Finding not only you, but also, Kylo Ren.

Poe was about to call for backup but Kylo reattached the door with his power of the force, “Shit,” Poe whispered under his breath.

“Funny,” Kylo started, “I was just about to come looking for you, you have some information I need.” Without warning Poe felt himself lose control of his body as he came to a complete still. He was moved closer to you, seeing the pain in your face, the blood that was coming out of your temple, his heart broke. 

“Now Poe I don’t think I’ll have to introduce you to my little guest here, I’m pretty sure you have a close relationship with her already,” Kylo started. Poe could hear the smile behind that mask.

“What do you want from me?” Poe asked, fighting the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks.

“Oh you know, I only need the map to Skywalker,” he told him, smirking under his mask, “And I need you to tell me where that little droid is that has it.”

“Poe don’t tell him anything,” you  spoke up. It was a desperate plea. Somehow, someway Poe’s heart broke even more, the ace was becoming to much for him and he started shedding silent tears.

“Aww how cute, the wife begging her love to keep the secret that they spent so long protecting,” he laughed, “in exchange for her well being.”

“Well being?” Poe questioned, if Kylo was planning on hurting you to get him to talk then Poe knew he wouldn’t last long.

“Well,” Kylo started as he held his hand out facing you, “you tell me where the droid is,” and then it started. The first agonizing scream out of your mouth, and it broke Poe to hear it, “and I’ll make this stop,” Kylo finished.

“DON’T!” you screamed, “POE DON’T TELL HIM ANYTHING!” you cried again. 

“STOP!” Poe yelled over your cries, “PLEASE STOP IT NOW!” he begged.

“Only you can make this stop Dameron,” Kylo stated calmly.

“Why don’t you just look in my head?!” Poe questioned, unable to hold back the sobs.

Kylo laughed, “Oh Poe, because this is much more entertaining,” he simply stated.

Poe wouldn’t just sit here and let this happen, no matter haw much you begged. You are the love of his life, the carrier of this child- wait. His child, not only was this son of a bitch hurting you, he was hurting your baby, “Okay, okay!” Poe shouted, desperate to make him stop, “BB-8 is in the ship with six other team members,” Poe confessed, “Now leave her alone!” He begged.

Kylo let out an evil laugh, “Poe Dameron, did you really think I’d be that merciful?” He asked and laughed harder.

Damn. He was played. Kylo was never gonna stop this, he was going to make Poe watch him kill her and their child in front of him. 

“Please, please, please no!” Poe begged, Kylo laughed even more as your screams got louder, “PLEASE I’LL DO ANYTHING!” he yelled over your pain. More and more tears started to fall every second. Poe could see the life drain out of your eyes slowly, as he felt pain that he never thought he’d ever feel before.

Here he was...Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance, the most cool and collected person that you know, your husband, the person who was supposed to be the father of your unborn child. A sobbing mess in front of you while you screamed from the overwhelming pain you felt throughout your entire being. And there was nothing anyone could do.

Just as all hope seemed lost, he heard the door bust down behind him and he fell to the ground. 

“Let them go!” Rey yelled as she charged at Kylo she and he pulled out their light sabers and started fighting. The screaming stopped. You were quiet. Finn ran up to Poe to see if he was okay but Poe ignored him hand ran to you, taking off the restraints that held you back. You were barely breathing, but you were still breathing. That’s all he could ask for as of right now.

“Y/N? Y/N, honey please look at me please. Let me see your beautiful eyes please,” he begged you to wake up, to look at him. He needed you to more than you could ever begin to know.

“Hmmm,” you hummed as you slowly opened your eyes, “Poe baby...”

“Hi sweetheart, your okay your gonna be okay,” Poe promised.

“No Poe,” you sobbed, “No it’s not okay.”

“Yes, yes it is,” Poe tried to convince you but you just shook your head and started to sob even harder.

“Poe it’s the baby, we lost the baby,” you cried.

At that moment everything stopped. He hates to admit it but after what he saw, him just being grateful your alive he forgot all about the baby. But then he took your words in, no. No, no, no. There’s no way. You can’t lose the baby. You can’t. But you can, and you most likely did. He tried to shake that thought out of his head and tried reassure you and himself.

“No, no. Don’t say that the baby is fine,” he tried, but even he wouldn’t believe that. Not anymore.

“No Poe,” you sobbed, “I felt it, they’re gone,” you continued to sob.

And then something lined up in his mind, when your screams of pain suddenly got louder, it wasn’t just pain. You were mourning, looking back you could see it in your eyes. You knew they were gone as soon as they died.

At that, Poe couldn’t hold it back anymore. He started to sob harder than he has all day. Witch he didn’t think was possible but at this point, anything could be possible. 

As you two cried together Finn had to speak up, the fight between Rey and Kylo was getting heated and you needed to get BB-8 out of there,”Guy’s I’m so sorry but we need to leave,” Finn said with sorrow.

Even though Poe didn’t want to leave, he just wanted to sit there and cry in your arms, he knew they had to leave. Still crying, Poe picked you up and carried you bridal style out of the room and him and Finn ran to the ship while Rey held off Kylo. 

Once they made it to the main ship Poe lied you down on a bed then asked another pilot if he could fly his x-wing back home so he could stay with you. The pilot agreed.

A few minutes later Rey ran into the ship and then they were off. The whole ride Poe sat with you as you cried and mourned for the loss of your baby, other than that the ship was silent. No one dared to make a sound.

One they made it home Poe rushed you to the med-bay immediately, just to make sure that nothing else was wrong with you, and to confirm the baby’s death. As Poe waited for the doctors to come out and tell him if you were okay or not, he couldn’t help the useless hope that maybe, your baby was still alive, maybe they can save them.

But it was to late, that’s what Poe told himself, that’s what you told him, and eventually that’s what the doctors told him. As he walked up to your bed he couldn’t help the sobs as he saw your tired body that was once carrying life, now mourning over the child that you both loved but never got to meet. Life that he was so ready to bring in this word, life that he still wants in this world, but will never have.

You slid over and patted the side of the bed, calling him to sit next to you. He did. He laid next to you and held on to you tight. And than when you started sobbing he did to. He sobbed with you in that bed for hours, no one bothered you. Although Poe was devastated to hear and know that his baby boy or girl were not gonna be who he dreamed them to be, to know that their just not gonna be, he was happy he had you. You were the only thing keeping him alive now. You were the only one who felt what he was feeling. You were the only one who could really make him feel better about everything. And he made a promise to his baby, that he’d never let anything bad happen to them, and he broke it. He broke that promise before he could even meet them. And you were the only one who could heal that hole that it made in his heart. Because you would always be there no matter how bad he fucked up. So he made a new promise, but not to you or him. To his baby, his baby that was in a better place now, where ever that may be. He made a promise to him or her. That he would do everything he could to protect you, even if it made you hate him, even if he hated himself. You were going to live a long happy healthy life or his name wasn’t Poe Dameron. If he had to die right now just to make sure that happened then he would. And if he every broke that promise, he would. Somehow if that promise was broken he’d find a way to rid himself of the galaxy. 

Because you were his everything. And what could one do without their everything?

[enbymike]

going to be completely real for a second: the reason why i’m so confident in byler being canon is the absolute amount of hints and the trail leading up to the idea. it’s a combination of a lot, but specifically two major things: the will sexuality plotline in season 4 combined with the milvn relationship breakdown plotline to show how mike cannot admit he loves el, and the constant mentioning of byler by noah, finn and the marketing team (hello netflixgeeked??? it’s insane????)

i cannot say all this without acknowledging the very real elephant in the room – the possibility of queerbait. it’s been done before, and i’m a veteran to it. but this time around, it feels different.

i cant explain it, but a lot of shows and movies that utilise queerbait use it sparingly and subtlety, with things only lgbt people themselves would notice and pick up on, but easily flying under the radar of the cishets. To make it easy to gaslight queer people about it and claim they were just ‘seeing things’. but netflix, and stranger things as a whole, have NOT been doing that with byler. it’s been straight up in your face (how many people have told stories about their conservative families immediately picking up on will being gay this season? many of us had noticed from season 1 onwards after years of media analysis under a queer lens, but this is the first time, at least to me, that it’s been so overt even cishets have noticed properly)

listen. i could be putting my clown wig on again on july 1st, but i’m really, really hopeful. i don’t think i’ve ever been this confident in the canonicity of a ship before. i have no idea why they would set up byler only to do nothing with it… other than pure malicious intent. (can we all promise to wreak havoc if that’s the case?) but honestly, i don’t think it’ll come to that. let’s hope stranger things pulls off this ambitious straightbait of the century. they’ve done it once, let’s hope they can do it again right.

[tuiyla]

How do you headcanon Quinn figuring out brittana were a thing?

Ohh good question.

So like for pretty much everyone else in the Glee Club I think it's a process rather than one moment in particular. I think Brittana started their making out party trick end of freshman year and Quinn rolled her eyes, given her upbringing and how carefully she cultivated her own reputation. Then during the summer and beginning of sophomore year they continued and amped it up and maybe Quinn chewed Santana over it, told her they were all supposed to be in Celibacy Club and all. Santana called her a stuck-up bitch and pointed out that Quinn was pretty much the only virgin in Celibacy Club. Plus, Santana reasoned, it got guys super worked up and increased their overall popularity. Quinn raised an eyebrow over why Brittana felt the need to do it so frequently but she accepted that the innocent church girl was her look, not her friends'.

I also think she was irrationally grumpy about it on a lot of days but she internalized all that instead of giving it a voice like Santana would have. By 'irrationally' I mean that Quinn didn't quite know why it bothered her, because despite her upbringing she wasn't approaching it from a homophobic perspective nor did she think it was anything too serious. She did realize sooner than perhaps Brittana themselves that it went deeper than a party trick, though, and that's what bothered her closeted ass. But then everything with Puck and Finn and the pregnancy happened and she had other things to worry about. After all that she could also rationalize her envy of Brittana as them still being cheerleaders instead of, ya know.

In junior year Quinn was mostly busy trying to pretend sophomore year didn't happen and having her rivalry for the Alpha Bitch position with Santana. I think she might have caught Brittana glances in the locker room, lingering touches, generally the two of them being, well, Brittana. Quinn had her suspicions that this really was something deeper than what started as a joke in freshman year but once again she had other stuff to think about. That was, until Landslide happened and she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt. She'd known earlier but that was when she knew, you know? When she realized it wasn't a joke or a phase or anything of the sort. And I have a Quinntana scene in mind that I wish had happened here, more on that in another ask.

The face of a girl who knows feat. Mike Chang

In my mind Quinn tried to talk to Santana about it (because it was Santana who started crying, Santana who was like a ghost of herself afterward, Santana whom she'd been having a rivalry with) but it didn't go well, exactly. So Quinn knew but unlike certain people she was smart enough to know it wasn't her business, and she was also busy with her life falling apart as everything that had happened caught up with her and she had her mental breakdown. Then beginning of senior year she was once again busy with her own shit, but nonetheless she was pissed off when she heard about The Outing. I'd like to think that even though she had other things going and she never had The Talk with Brittana, she went feral whenever a creep approached Santana in the hallway or was any kind of shitty to Brittany.

So like I say it was a process and I have to factor in the myriad of things Quinn had going on in her own life. I think she initially had issues but that was all about image and her own repressed feelings, and once she realized Brittana's feelings went deeper for each other she was rooting for them to make it. With Quinn it's complicated ya know, because she does have her own issues (girl is not straight herself idc that it's never outright said on Glee) and I'm sure gay people in general were not looked upon kindly in the Fabray house. On top of that, Quinn feeling excluded because of Brittana's connection, maybe holding a bit of resentment because of that even though she does want them to be happy. And it being this long process until she's finally 100% sure it's the real deal and her friends are in love, and even then the journey until they're an official public couple. Quinn's in a unique position for all of it, both because of who she is and who Brittana are to her. Which is friends, btw. #UnholyTrinityWasReal

[thepeakyfckingblinders]

Never Again || Thomas Shelby x reader

credits to @saralou23​ for the gif

⤠ MASTERLIST⤟

Anon requested/summary: “can I request a fic where the reader is found unconscious or faints in the shop or something and tommy freaks out? I just find protective tommy so ❤️💓💟!! Thank you, your writing is absolutely INCREDIBLE” (Thank you so much honeybun, you’re making me blush, pls, forgive me for being late ❤️)

Warnings: swearing, bossy Tommy, basically Tommy freaking out and being overprotective, me always loving him with all of my mangled soul

Author’s notes:

I hope you are okay darlings, I love you, please stay safe ♡

I’m so sorry for being this late, I have no excuses, forgive me. Also the end sucks, but I’m struggling with my writing lately, so, sorry again.

I love protective Thomas so much, he’s an ass, but he’s a softie, and I’m gonna lose my mind some day.

Behind each one of these works there are sleepless nights and something really close to multiple mental breakdowns, so, please, take a minute to send me a message about it, I need actual actual feedbacks to understand how to improve my skills and grow ♡

If you want to be added to my tag list, please, directly message me

I’m Italian, English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for every possible mistake I made. Also, please, help me improve my writing by telling me if there’s something wrong

ENJOY!

Birmingham’s gelid air hit your sensitive skin with no mercy as soon as your red mary-janes crossed the doorway of the Garrison, only to disgracefully sink into the greyish muddy loam in which the whole of Small Heath seemed to be covered.

Your fingers felt like rigid appendages burdening your already wearied arms, while you tried your best to wrap them around your coat’s edges, in a disperate effort to keep that warm tissue on your bulging clavicles left exposed by the woollen dress you were wearing. No matter how many heavy clothes you decided to put on, that implacable cold still succeeded in making you feel constantly out of forces, debilitated to the core; it had always been that way, since you were nothing more than a little girl obliged to spend one every two months confined in your bedroom, afflicted by incredibly high fever and sometimes even bronchitis.

Truth was that your body had never got used to England’s humid weather, yet, even though you poor healt had previously put you in danger, for your sake, thanks to the enormous progresses made by medicine in the past fifteen years, it was now easy to fight against the ruthless chill of those endless winters. Plus, since the earliest days of your attendence, your wardrobe had been perpetually refreshed with high-quality pieces perfectly in step with the times, for your fiancée had been literally covering you in furs and duvets of all kinds, concerned as he was that you could’ve eventually caught another bad fever, whose deathly consequences he had already experienced on his own thick skin. And for no reason in the world he would’ve even risked to lose you too.

So, as everybody could’ve easily predicted, Thomas was perennially paying attention to your wellbeing: the most famous specialists from inside and outside the United Kingdom had come directly to your country house; if one thing could be taken for granted, it was that your medications would always be settled on your side cabinet, together with a glass of fresh water, every day and every night; and, come hell or high water, he would accompany you during your routine visits to the hospital, even when it meant leaving all of his business without any prior warning.

Needless to say, you were perfectly able to do those things on your own -pheraps except for getting a crowd of world renowned doctors in your living room- and you sure as hell had tried to persuade him that there was no need at all for being so preoccupied all the time; still, he was Tommy Shelby, he simply couldn’t help it. 

The concern for his loved ones’ lives kept stealing his sleep, even on those nights when there was no trace of imminent dangers on the horizon, it kept excoriating the insides of his drained brains, to the point that, more than once, you’d had to sleep alone in your immense king-size bed or reach for him in his study, curling up on one of his uncomfortable armchairs, ready to appease his fears as best you could. In short, for as much as you needed him to relax, you were still able to understand his protective behavior, against which, as a matter of fact, no one could do much; thus you at least tried not to give him more reasons to be worried by paying some extra attention to all those small things you could solve without Tommy even knowing about it. Regularly taking your iron tablets, for example. Nonetheless, it had now been already a week since the Peaky Blinders had started a brand new business involving in effect every metalworking factory in and around Birmingham, and the whole family, you and Tom included, had been so turbulently tied up with work to let every other thought and need slither on the back burner. As a direct consequence, your doctor’s latest prescription was unfortunately left lying on the bottom of your drawer, that being the fourth day in a row you’d spent without taking those pills, and, even though everything appeared to be going well until then, that one Thursday morning your period eventually came and stroke the fatal blow, having you feel so faint and aching that, all of a sudden, the few metres separating your side of the street from the betting shop seemed to implausibly dilate right under your blurred vision, a vexing sense of nausea assaulting your empty stomach led you to lean against a lamppost, your skin still crawling beneath all those heavy tissues.  Dizziness and lethargy almost took over your sore mind, before you shook your head with an abrupt move in a bid to dispel those unpleasent sensations; clients would’ve arrived in less than a hour, Esme had taken John’s kids on a brief fieldtrip, Michael was already in his office, the boys were making their usual rounds of the mills, Finn and Isaiah were dealing with a couple folks in need back at the Garrison and Polly was nowhere in sight, which made you the only available blinder for the opening and, with Friday’s race approaching, there was no way the box-office could remain shut. Hence, more determined than ever, you chocked down the knot forming in your throat due to queasiness and just forced youself to put one foot in front of the other onto the dusty road, until you reached the shop door, not without the risk of tripping over multiple times in the process. Your frozen fingers clutched to the small side-wall now carring all of your weight, whilst your lungs tried to let in as much air as possible. And it worked, each plodding breath seemed to fight your sickness, also your heartbeat was gradually slowing down, thus you shut your eyelids and continued to inhale deeply for a full minute, before your trembilng hand managed to finally turn the key in the lock, giving you free access to the place. 

However, the small click produced by the latch closing again did not live to reach your ears, for they were already brimful of ominous hisses, in a scant moment a bulk of hypnotic grey worms prevented you from seeing anything else, they relentlessly squirmed in front of your dilated pupils, that repulsing view sending brutal shooks straight to your clenched stomach, again. And, before you even had a chance to realize what was going on, your brain completely blacked out.

                                                    ~ ~ ~

Words would not be sufficient to describe the fright taking over Arthur’s features the second your inert silhouette entered his line of sight. Just returned from their daily patrol, he had indeed noticed a small crowd waiting outside the office, cursing and fussing because of the lacked opening, and that alone had been weird enough for him to punch and kick his way up to the entrance, profanities spilling from his mustached mouth every time somebody’s elbow digged into his ribcage, inducing him to hit back so to stand his ground, only to eventually find himself powerless in front of that ghastly scene. It took him a while to recover from the shock, yet the eldest Shelby eventually regained control of his limbs and moved towards your shape with a single step.

“Polly! Pol, come here, for God’s sake!” Those hoarse yells filled the room, reverberating through the brickwalls, so loud that they could’ve been heard from the other side of the city, Arthur fell on his knees right beside you, gently placing a hand under your nape in order to lift your head. Blind panic streaming in his veins kept him for thinking clearly, he didn’t know what to do, thus he simply shook you from your shoulders, hoping in vain to see your eyes fly back open, but your neck just bent backwards.

“Where the hell is that bloody woman when I need her?!” he grunted those words in between his teeth while tigthening his grip on you, then his chest raised in a sharp move: “Jesus Christ, Polly!” He shouted once more, this time conveying all of his breath and blood towards his larynx, his abrasive voice shriveled and insisted on the last letters of his aunt’s name, until swift strides frantically hit the creaking steps, announcing Polly’s arrive. Her eyes struggled to remain open, her left palm was pressed against her forehead in a silly attempt to soothe the tremendous headache resulted from the previous night’s booze, she didn’t even have the time to put proper clothing on, since her mad niece was apparentely going berserk. “You, son of a bastard-” cursed words died underneath her tongue when she understood what was going on, soon her feet took on a life of their own, as they picked up their peace, leading her next to your body now held in Arthur’s arms.

“She’s freezing, Pol, she’s a fucking chunk of ice!” Hiccoughs shattered his worried cries, he almost whined, shifting his gaze from yours to Polly’s face over and over again, she, on the other hand, used the whole lenght of her right arm to clear in one smooth motion the closest desk. “Quick, lay her here” The deafening noise produced by those items colliding with the pavement barely grazed her hears, whilst she nodded to herself in the effort to impose some order on her obfuscated head, searching for a prompt solution that was late in coming, to the point that Finn beat it to the draw and stormed in, pointing a loaded gun to each corner of the room with fear in his cerulean irises. “What the hell’s going on?” That hysterical question echoed through the place, even though the young boy was finding it hard to get his breath, due to the crazy run he had made to reach the shop immediately after hearing that insane screaming. Nonetheless, in the space of an instant, he saw you as well and fell utterly silent, violent dismay caught him off guard, his wide eyes hesitated on your motionless figure; all of a sudden he didn’t know what to think, nor he could get the thought of your death out of his brains.

“My God, she’s as pale as death” Finn let his mind talk through that throttled murmur, regretting it right away, for silty goosebumps crawled on his skin under the pungent pressure of his brother’s instantaneous lethal glare. “Don’t talk shit, kid! Just fucking go and get Tom!”

The redhead didn’t waste any time, he somehow managed to recollect his guts and steadily disappeared behind the door previously left open. While struggling for air and internally searching for the right words to say in front of Thomas, Finn covered the whole distance between the office and the Garrison. Labored gasps coming out of his slightly parted lips in louder groans as he slammed the heavy pub’s doors open, using only his strongest shoulder; both Harry and Isaiah watched him run towards the back room where Tommy was going through the books, they did not dare spill a word and, after all, the boy didn’t even look in their direction, such was his concentration. Still, once he reached the place, all of a sudden his tongue felt dry, his well-organised speech faded away.

“Finn?! What’s wrong?” Tom’s icy eyes were now staring at him through his round glasses, the paper he’d been reading was instantly dropped, although his tone remained steady. “Y-you need to come, now! She... she’s-” A frown formed upon Tommy’s marble face at his little brother’s furious rambling, something wasn’t right, that was crystal clear, yet he wasn’t able to keep up with those hasty and stuttered sentences, so he approached him, putting both his hands on Finn’s shoulders in order to give him a little shove and maybe get some decent information. “Breathe, kid, and tell me what’s going on” That deep, adamant tone somehow sounded scarier than usual roaring inside the boy’s head, hence anxiety definitively won him over, gaining complete control of his mouth too. “It’s Y/n! I don’t fucking know, Tom, s-she looks dead!” All at once, time and space seemed to collapse around him, one single second dilated, covering the space of a whole lifetime beyond his vacant blue irises now fixed on an undetermined spot of the white wall behind Finn’s back.   A gruesome, yet familiar sensation raided his petrified body, it felt like having a beast’s fangs gnawing his throat off, lacerating his flesh to the bone, he could sense every little laceration, his chest being plundered, till even his sable heart was eradicated and then mauled. A strangled wheeze barely lived through his plump lips, that being the only sound he uttered, then his black pupils shrinked and immediately twitched, nailing his sibiling’s gaze. Without receiving an order from his brain, his fists violently gripped Finn’s jacket at the height of his biceps, bringing him a span away from his gnashed teeth with a sharp pull. “Where?” He snarled liked a rabid dog, striking, if possible, geater terror in the young man who struggled to spit an almost inaudible “The shop”, before being shoved against the doorframe as Tommy dodged him and rushed out.

                                                     ~ ~ ~

Polly held the bottle of her almond parfume she’d just put under your nostrils as if her life depended on it, Arthur’s rough palm, instead, began to pat your pasty cheek. “C’mon, love, wake up! Don’t play games, c’mon!” The dorsum of that same hand now poking the left side of your face, and then going back to the other, at incredible speed. You started to feel your face again when his nudges grew in intensity, until he was practically slapping you; soon a tremendous metallic taste invaded your mouth, or rather, you finally sensed it, whilst your eyelids battled against gravity to get back up. Arthur noticed it, he detected that brief flinch and it felt like being pampered with a fresh breeze after days of unsustainable heat. “Oh, fuck, I think I’m having a stroke” His tone held extreme urgency as he grasped for air, tugging with two fingers at his shirt collar; sure, he was great at knocking people off, maybe the best, yet, unfortunately, after that he’d never tried to bring somenody back with the living.

Blinding light rended your shrouded eyes, everything appeared blurred to the point that you couldn’t distinguish Polly’s features, although she was right beside you; nor your hearing was working, since the loud thud produced by the wooden door hitting the brickwall, and then your name barked by your fiancée’s coarse voice, sounded muffled to your ears. With a superhuman effort you succeeded in tilting your face towards the entrance, you recognized the navy-blue suit Thomas had chosen to wear earlier in the moring, still those nebulous images reached your brains with extreme delay, it was like watching vague movie scenes stream in slow motion. Your eyelids blinked as if a plumbeous burden was anchored to them, each flutter seemed to last a full minute, so that you perceived Tom coming to you in multiple shattered motions, while he kept calling you. The moment Tommy furiously jostled against Arthur, in order to take his place by the desk, you gradually went back to see and hear clearly, now being able to seize pure dread sailing those mesmerizing ocean eyes. “Thank goodness, y/n” His big palms envelopped both your cheeks, slightly squeezing them as he lift your neck, revealing all of his hidden delicacy that you, and you only, were able to bring out. “Y/n, love, talk to me” That order came out like a prayer, his voice betraying him once too often, his fingers shaking with worry, while one of his hands held your chin and the other went to caress your locks. Those loving strokes brushed against your skin, slowly infusing a little warmth into your gelid body, he touched you with the unbearable fear of watching you pass away in between his arms, having him struggle to breathe properly. “Do you hear me?” a single, salty drop fell from his long eyelashes and poured your lower lip, you heard his voice crack, distorting, until it became nothing more than a faint whine: “Please, love, talk to me” When his forehead pressed against yours, he finally gave in to the tears that had been held back with drastic ostination, shutting his eyes for a few instants he allowed brutal sobs to trounce his already aching chest. However, that moment of raw weakness was soon restrained, so that you returned to stare into his blue irises. Then, a small grin crossed your pale mouth and, even though your throat felt like gasoline on fire, preventing you from pronouncing a single syllable, you managed to guide your tiny hand to cup his sharp cheekbone. A burning kiss was pressed on its dorsum, before Tommy completely leant into your touch, giving you a look halfway between relief and disperation, he covered your hand with his own, holding it tight. “You’re okay, you’re safe” Those soft murmurs escaped his lips, probably aimed to placate the axphyziating terror still intoxicating his veins. Indeed, as hard as it was to conceive for everybody in that room, although you were the one just recovering from a sudden collapse, Tommy was now the one trembling like a fallen leaf, his arms rested on each side of your shape, sustaining his weight, as he barely stood on his own two feet. Slowly, you regained the necessary strenght to lift your bust, leading him to flutter in your direction, promptly enlacing his forearms around your waist in order to support your movements. “Hold onto me, darling, take it slow” His raspy voice was still unsteady and full of concern, he was holding his breath out of fear, gazing at you with wide eyes and tightening the grip on your hips as if to make sure that you wouldn’t vanish in his palms. You, on the other hand, gave him a rassuring smile, caressing his face mutliple times and placing a brief kiss on his mouth. “I’m fine, Tommy, I’m here with you” you eventually spoke close to his ear so to keep that conversation between the two of you “Let go, my love, I’m here” Your lips accidentally brushed against his forehead once he listened to you and abandoned himself to your tender embrace, gradually drowning into your soft chest while his arms clung on to your figure, his fingertips almost piercing the thick material of your dress as your cheek covered his head, totally annihilating the distance. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. Never again”.

tag list: @spidey-pal​, @shadow-of-wonder​, @stassaurus​​, @peachlle​, @livvtheangel​, @myjbphase​, @namelesslosers, @crazyonesarethebest​, @vxxn128​, @keithseabrook27​, @spaghettirogers​​, @writingstudent​​, @hp-hogwartsexpress , @eggingamazinglove​, @geeksareunique​, @cailoleaf​, @simonsbluee​ , @hereforsmutandfluff​, @starxtt​, @jenepleurepasbaby​, @staygold-bebold​, @marvelschriss​, @captivatedbycillianmurphy​

[fruitcoops]

I need something to vent read. If you are up for it could you write something with Sirius freaking out because of a slammed door, loud noises and raised voices? I feel like these things would be triggering to him because when he was living with Walburga (is that spelled correctly? I have no clue) and Orion all of those things meant something bad was going to happen. If you want it to not be as angsty you could add in Remus comforting him and reminding him that he is safe. Thank you! :)

Continuing the angsty vibes, folks! This was a really interesting prompt to tackle since Sirius is so repressed and I didn’t want to romanticize past abuse at all. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for disappointed adults, guilt, past abuse (mentioned, not graphic), and a panic attack

Arthur was disappointed. Sirius hated it when Arthur was disappointed.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Arthur sighed after a moment, shaking his head. “If anyone has an explanation for that shitshow, I’d love to hear it.” A few beats of silence passed and he pressed his lips together. The guilt was eating Sirius alive. “We’re better than this. I know that, you know that, the Cup we won knows that. Do better next time.”

Be better, be better, be better. The words had been drilled into his mind since he was old enough to hold a stick and he swallowed around the dryness of his mouth. “Sorry, Coach,” James said quietly from his stall.

“I don’t need you to be sorry!” Arthur barked; Sirius’ stomach lurched. “I need you all to get your heads out of your asses and into the game! Tonight was a disgrace to everything you’ve worked hard to build. You know that, right?”

“Yes, Coach,” they muttered.

“What was that?”

“Yes, Coach,” they said again, louder.

Down the hall, a door slammed—Sirius knew it was just Moody closing up for the night, but latent fear lanced through him all the same and he gripped the edge of his seat. Deep breaths, Heather always told him. Breathing is the most important thing you can do to stay in control.

Control. He needed control. He thrived on control.

“Black!” Arthur’s voice was sharp and he winced. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Yes, Coach.” Sirius stood up.

“Then answer the question I just asked.”

Frantically, Sirius wracked his brain. Fuckfuckfuckfuck—nothing. He couldn’t think of anything. The alarm bells started to blare as Arthur walked to his stall, still holding onto his clipboard. “I’m sorry, Coach.”

He tapped the front of Sirius’ jersey. “Do you know why you have that badge?”

“Because—”

“Because you’re supposed to be a role model for this team. You hold them together and you lead well. I’ve seen you do it a million times.”

Finn raised his head. “Coach, this isn’t just on Cap—”

“Save it, O’Hara.” Arthur looked straight at Sirius; his eyes flickered from familiar blue to cold, furious silver faster than Sirius could register. He held his breath and prayed the hit would be light. “You disappointed me tonight, Sirius.”

There it was—the kill stroke. “I’m sorry,” he croaked around the knot in his throat. White-hot adrenaline began dripping into his veins and his breaths grew shallower. Hide it. Hide that weakness. It’s worse if you don’t. In his periphery, he saw Remus straighten up in concern.

“I don’t need your apologies.” Another door slammed. Sirius’ hands started to shake. He could smell the sickly-sweet perfume his mother loved. “I need you to step up and do your job.”

“I’m s—” Sirius bit his lip and choked the words down. Apologies never helped. He braced himself. Something crashed down the hallway and a jumble of voices echoed off the walls like wailing ghosts. The red and gold of the locker room became dark around the edges as his vision tunneled.

“You’re still not listening.” Arthur ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ, no wonder everyone was off! I don’t talk just to hear the sound of my own voice, guys!”

“Coach, could you lower your voice a bit?” Pascal asked in an even tone, though Sirius felt his eyes on him. He kept his chin high.

“Pascal—” Arthur snapped his mouth shut and threw his clipboard down with a BANG that rattled all the way to Sirius’ core. He flinched back hard.

“Excuse me for a moment,” he said under his breath, wincing as his voice cracked. He shouldered past Arthur, feeling his chest tighten painfully on the way out.

Public bathrooms were the worst place to have a breakdown, but at least it was dark, empty, and cool enough to quell the raging heat in his head. He crumpled in the joint between a stall door and its wall, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“Come on, deep breaths,” he whispered to himself as salt tinged his lips. “Deep breaths, you can do this.”

If he squeezed his eyes shut hard enough, he could pretend that the trembling fingers combing through his hair were Remus’. That the weight against his side was Dumo, pulling him in for a hug.

“He didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean it.” Again and again, until his voice finally gave out into shuddering breaths.

The door creaked as it opened and Sirius held his breath, curling into a tighter ball. The lights did not turn on as soft footsteps padded on the tiles. “Sirius? Are you in here?”

His chest hitched and he leaned his head against the metal.

There was a gentle sigh and the footsteps stopped; two feet appeared in the gap. “Can you open the door, love?”

Sirius shook his head, not trusting his voice. A few seconds of silence passed.

“Alright.” Something rustled and the person sat crosslegged in front of the locked door. “What level are you at?”

“Six?” Sirius managed as more tears trickled down his cheeks.

Remus made a quiet noise of sympathy, then laid his hand palm-up on the floor. Sirius hesitated for a moment before lacing their fingers together—the comfort was instantaneous. He let out a wavering exhale as Remus covered his shaking hand with both of his own, tracing his knuckles and fingers with steady lines. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“You know what happened.”

“This seems pretty severe for some yelling.”

Sirius cracked a rueful smile in the darkness. “You know me too well.”

“I know you well enough to worry.”

He sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeve. God, he’d kill a man for a shower. “People were slamming doors and somebody knocked a cart over. He’s—he’s so disappointed in me, Re.”

“He’s upset with all of us,” Remus said firmly. “Every game, no matter how shitty, is a team effort. It wasn’t fair of him to yell at you.”

“I’m the captain.”

“You’re a player. Players share blame. Arthur knows that, and he shouldn’t have gone after you like that.”

I’d rather it be me than you, Sirius didn’t say. “How’d you find me?”

He felt Remus shrug and saw his sweatshirt shift. “It’s where I would go. How are you feeling now?”

Sirius closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He was still a little dizzy and more than a bit exhausted, but the alarms in his head had quieted and he could make out actual shapes in the shadows instead of just blurs. “Maybe a three? Two and a half?”

“Can you unlock the door?” He leaned up with his free hand, never letting go of Remus; the stall door opened with a creak and he shifted to lean against his shoulder, snuggling into the soft warmth. “Hey, baby.”

“I hate that this still happens.”

“You’re working on it, though.” Remus pressed his lips to Sirius’ forehead and a little part of him unraveled into a puddle of affection. “That’s progress.”

He sniffled again and tucked his arms against Remus’ chest, toying with the drawstring of his hoodie. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Remus said without hesitation, pulling him closer. The extra muscle he had put on made Sirius feel so safe, like he was in a cocoon of cuddly bliss. Nothing could touch him there. “Whenever you’re ready, Coach wanted to apologize. We can stay here as long as you want, though.”

“In a minute,” Sirius sighed, breathing in the familiar smell. “Let’s just stay here for a bit.”