#and Dennis comes home and tells Mac how he feels

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

I sincerely think if Dennis Reynolds and Jeff Winger were to makeout, it would benefit them both immensely, in fact, it’d be good for their health

[a-a-a-anon]

absolutely fascinated by young dee who is criminally under-discussed so here is my dissertation on what happened in her college years (ft. dr. gainer, setting her roommate on fire, being institutionalized)/my idea for a fic that I will almost certainly never write/my way too serious take on a few throwaway dee lore lines

timeline background: we know that dee majored in psychology ('charlie got molested') and got "three fourths" of the way in (meanwhile dennis finished his psych minor.) assuming this was a four year program, I'm gonna guess that in her third year she got institutionalized and most likely had to drop out ('gun fever too: still hot'.) we also know that she had her back brace until she was twenty ('underage drinking'), so I'm guessing that means she got her back brace off in her third year.

we know that dennis fancied himself a psychologist since he was young, but I think dee did too. in particular I think she was wary and interested in her brother's psychology; she seems very aware of his psychopathy and bpd in 'making dennis reynolds a murderer' and 'psycho pete returns.' in my head she's been interested in dennis' psychology since they were kids and she saw him snapping crows necks. so instead of forcing her way into acting school, she studied psychology to better understand her brother (and also deep down, herself, who is very much the other side of the same fucked up coin.) it also meant she could tell herself she could study her characters even better when she became an actress.

i think she put in (her version of) genuine academic effort to get in, fuelled kind of by spite (remember the way she studied that thick medical book in 'hero or hate crime' or her very quick math in 'boggs: ladies reboot'). she studies books and gets cricket to quiz her and she still fails to get into penn. but frank always pitied her (i think she was his favorite of the twins-remember "let your sister into the gang", "that's my girl!", "i'm sorry the grift didn't work out, sweetie") so he shells out cash to get her in, but also to get her away from home so he has to deal with her even less.

dennis wants to do anything dee does but better and he wants to keep her close by (to watch her crash and burn, and also because he's weirdly possessive-see 'the gang broke dee' "i'm your select!"). and obviously he's barbara's favorite. so barbara gives him money to get in too. she also gets him into a frat and pays for his classes and his rent and everything he needs. dee has to live in a dumpy dorm with a female roommate.

but college presents dee a chance to moult her previous place in life where she was known as a monster (remember how insistent she was that "people can change!" in 'franks pretty woman'. I think dees always wanted to believe she can shed that feeling she's inferior, but she never has). in my head her female roommate is basically normal-has real friends of her own, mentally stable, attractive-which is exactly what dee craves. dee wants to be popular and well liked and she wants to infiltrate her roommates life, imitate her, be in the Cool group. and she places all her hopes on a friendship with the roommate but dee has never navigated real female friendships before, not with someone like her. deep down she also wishes she found what dennis found in mac, whatever it was, because ever since dennis met mac he's never been as close to her. and i do think dee is some flavor of queer. and the roommate is well liked in the way that dee admires and envies. so there is that blurriness between wanting to be her and wanting to be with her. in my head her roommate looks like the woman from dee's fantasy in 'the gang saves the day' (and they both represent that promise of escape from dee's shitty life).

dee is so desperate for the roommates approval and her love and her life that she goes insane, copying and flattering and competing with her. ever the shitty actress, she tries to emulate her, but comes off as manic and creepy. and maybe her roommate is nice enough to not completely shun her, recognizing that she's struggling. maybe in dees mind they actually are becoming friends when her roommate asks things like "are you okay?"

and dee has to talk about her plan with dennis because he's the only person who would Get It. and she makes it sound like it's almost working. dennis feels jealous and worried and threatened that maybe dee might actually be seen as normal, especially when she gets her back brace off in the third year. so dennis fucks her roommate, more of a show that he owns and controls each and every pathetic part of dee’s life than anything else. and so that dee knows she'll never be as good as him, she'll never as easily charm people as dennis does. (or at least he tells her he does).

to prove that To Someone dee is Good Enough, and so desperate for attention, dee (who's been groomed all this time) enters a sexual relationship with her professor dr. gainer. she tells herself she has the power in it, that she seduced him ("he didn't molest me. i had sex with him 'cause i wanted to.") and she has a mental break, because the thing she told herself held her back from being loved (her back brace) is finally gone by now and yet she still feels like a monster, and the only scrap of "love" she can get is from her professor.

and then she can't take the fact that she can steal her roommates clothes, can emulate her sexual prowess (in dee's own fucked up, delusional way), and still neither be well liked like her nor be loved by her. so maybe dee will always be a monster. so dee tried to burn her roommate in her bed, because she represented the promise of change and popularity, and that promise was a lie and dee's effort was for nothing. and she's institutionalized.

and i think there was kind of a falling out between the twins and their parents, because barbara wants to abandon dee but dennis can't help but visit her. and frank doesn't even step foot in a place that reminds him of his traumatic childhood, and avoids dee even more than he used to because she is his childhood mirror image. so the family becomes even more fractured and estranged.

and maybe dee becomes medicated and slowly crawls her way halfway to normal by the first season (her acting classes are so well-adjusted, taking part in healthy hobbies of her!). until her father comes back into her life and everything falls apart <3

side note, even though dee is crushingly lonely-"I just got a cat 'cause I wanted something to hang out with. I don't have, you know, a roommate or anything, and I don't really have anyone to talk to..."-AND she struggles to pay rent whenever frank cuts her off, i hc that she refused to ever get a roommate in particular female roommate again after this because both her internalized misogyny got worse and she was afraid of what would happen (what she would do) again.

[teagballs]

how about dennis taking care of a sick reader? maybe the reader's got a cold or a migraine or a broken leg or something.

or vice versa! dennis would be truly insufferable if he were sick or had a migraine.

sick days

a/n: hihihi love this idea so much oh my god. i hope i did it justice 🤞 dennis would be the WORST

experimenting with a new layout AND doing imagines/headcanons today !! woo !! lmk how u guys feel abt it. reblogs appreciated greatly. love ya

word count and formatting: 758 words, imagine format, lowercase

fic under the cut

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when you're sick:

- dennis isn't entirely sure how to act when you tell him you're sick.

- as your boyfriend, he knows he should be concerned and doting and attentive. but as dennis reynolds? he doesn't want to get sick too, ew.

- you know him, you know he won't want to be infected by your disgusting horrible disease (a common cold), but you are bedridden and ask him to pick up a few things for you.

- and he can at least do that for you. he makes his way to your apartment, a plastic bag stocked with pills and soup in hand. but when he swings open the door, he crumbles, finding you curled up on your sofa.

- you tell him to go home and to not get sick but suddenly he's a nurse and he's tying back your hair and pushing the strands that stick to your sweat coated forehead out of your pretty face and cooing about how gross you look.

"you should've called me if you were this bad. this feels like neglect." he says as he turns off whatever stupid reality tv show you were dazedly watching and raises his cold, cold hand to your scalding forehead. you hum at the sensation. "you look like you're near death. did you eat? of course you didn't." he talks to himself, blocking out any protests you might have.

- he'd rummage through your cupboards until he'd find a suitable bowl to microwave the soup in. you'd watch in dazed amazement, still ensure if this was some sort of sickness inflicted hallucination.

- you knew he'd feed the goddamn broth to you if you didn't take the spoon from him.

- he rambles about how your sickness is a result of "not having enough vitamins in your system" and you "need to take care of yourself" and how tomorrow he'll bring down some of the supplements he has to fight the cold.

- you try to tell him that it is only a cold and it would disappear in a couple of days, but he only argues back about how he didn't want to get himself or anyone else infected.

- but truly, he hated to see you suffering. it broke his heart when he heard your nasal-ly tone or when you'd shiver from being too cold. and frankly, he'd do anything to ensure this never happened again. even if that meant force feeding you omega 3 supplements.

when he's sick:

- dennis being sick is hell. whiny, lazy, sniffling hell. he would be denying the fact he is sick - not wanting to appear weak, of course - while also begging for you to come help him.

- unlike when you're sick, he'd immediately call you complaining about how he'd caught something, how he felt like he was dying, and how he needed you to come nurse him back to health.

- used to his theatrics by now and also feeling a little guilty hearing his stuffy pathetic tone on the phone, you make your way to his apartment.

- mac had long evacuated the apartment. now that you were in the picture? his days of dealing with sick dennis were over, good luck to you.

"what the hell took so long?" dennis groaned from his bedroom. you walk in and gesture to your tote bag of supplies.

"i don't get sick, ever. i'm perfectly well," then after a moment of silence, "i think it's something like the flu or pneumonia," dennis coughs.

"i think you just have a cold baby," you say blankly. he tuts.

- he whines when you get up to leave. he whines at you to get stuff when you stay. he whines.

- in fact, all he has done is whine. he has made zero effort to get pills for his raging headache, possibly still in denial he was sick. so you grab him a small glass of water and set the painkillers in his lap.

- he would be so slow and dramatic. just staring at the glass before him.

"i'm not helping you drink the water, dennis," "no, i know, just give me a second."

- he eventually takes the tablets, groaning when the taste lingers on his tongue.

- he's even clingy when he's sick, not wanting you to leave again. he'll claim you have to stay over and watch him in case something horrible happens while he's sleeping.

- you make yourself comfortable by his side, stroking his leg over the duvet to lull his to sleep. you have to keep up the petting motion in one hand while the other scrolls on your phone as you wait for him to wake up and start yapping again.

[badnew2005]

actually i’m still feeling insane thinking about dee and dennis and the presence of frank in the gang. if you’re raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. you escape, you run. to university where i’m meant to be a Real Person, This is how we start again, and we run away to the real world. but you can’t make it. whatever. we couldn’t stick out college. dee set her roommate on fire. you will find him even when he is not there. run back to those losers from high school. you start again as Them. it’s just us and this bar, invincible, invisible to the world, just living where We matter. bringing in a new life at paddys. but then he comes back. mom died. no she didn’t. i hate you. dad, dennis, dee. mac and charlie love him, he moves in with charlie even. don’t you remember? the angry man. no, you hid it too well, you don’t need to tell the world your business, but surely mac and charlie knew. why we stopped having sleepovers at home. why we ran away. ran to them for safety. a life where your dad didn’t exist. or he was locked away. but he’s back and i hate you. dad/dennis/dee. back to acting out his wars, but moms not here for my station my home base my target. it’s just me and you. and mac and charlie. and he’s not even our dad. but if you’re raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. he’s just a man. and you’re right he wasn’t always Angry. i’m just being stupid and looking for pity you’re right. i wish he was angry more. i wish he didn’t only tell dee he loved her. i wish he cared about us enough to be Angry enough that we can remember. he might be charlie’s father. oh. why does charlie get his love. i Hate you. you’re too much like mom / like him. this was meant to be some faraway land without fathers. a solstice. if one day you find that there is no angry man in your house. i can’t be successful i can’t love you. it’s impossible to pass his test. frank sets sweet dee on fire. i can’t be a Person with him Watching. so i hate you. you will go find one and invite him in. roller rink it’s their foggy memories and fantasies, frank ruined me, He’s the evil twist in fate that ruined me, it was all Him.

[thegcng-arch]

i really do think dennis wanted to be a proper parent to brian jr. i think when he left for north dakota he wanted to try and stick it through for the rest of brian's life. before he decides to leave he's sitting in paddy's watching the gang dance around and do what they always do, and the thinks about his life. he realizes that this isn't really what he wants to do for the rest of his life. he wants change, he wants to settle down, he wants to have a family. he also thinks about how he was raised, the kind of father frank was. he thinks about everyone in the gang, their parents or absent parents, and he realizes that brian jr doesn't deserve that. ultimately i think the real reason why he returned so soon after was his fear of vulnerability and the lack of trust that he has in himself, as well as his codependency with the gang. in order to be a parent you need to be vulnerable, you need to be honest. i truly think that dennis does not believe that he can be a good father. i think he's too worried that frank sunk his claws in him too deep and he will end up hurting mandy and brian jr in the end. he's too scared to confront what is wrong with him and fix it so he goes back to philly. he goes back to what feels comfortable, what feels easy. and putting his mask back on is exactly that. dennis has lived the last twenty-something years of his life with the gang, and most importantly mac. yes he is close with the gang and codependent with them, but mac has been his roommate for that whole time. they've gone out to dinner every single month, shared a car, shared a home. mac takes care of him, peels his apples, gives him massages, makes sure he eats, make sure he sleeps, watches out for him. without mac what is he? i think another big reason why dennis came back was that need for mac. he couldn't imagine existing with out him and shit, he didn't want to exist without him. even if dennis refuses to admit it he enjoys mac's company and he cares about him. when dennis returned from north dakota he tried to jump back in like nothing was wrong and nothing happened. you can tell after he gets back from north dakota he is ... tense. more so than usual ( i will acknowledge that part of this is due to robs ideal version of 'dennis' as a character and enjoying the more 'creepy serial-killer' behavior. i however am going to ignore all of that and focus on the deeper implications ). he's pushing all those feelings away because he doesn't want to admit it. he is ... much more harsh towards mac and mac's affection after he returns from north dakota. i feel like he's lashing out on mac and projecting his anger with himself to what he views as the source of the anger. dennis would have a really hard time talking with mac about why he left and why he came back. i feel like he wouldn't. if ever asked about it he'd brush it off or push it away. i could however see him admitting to it eventually but to be honest i can't see that happening until way later. probably post season sixteen after everything that happened with johnny, more guilt that he feels for his shitty behavior and manipulation. i can see it all kind of compounding and coming out eventually, most likely when he's incredibly drunk.

[boysareouttonight]

lately ive been seeing some ppl on sunny tumblr/twitter spreading the agenda of ryan reynolds dating mac n dee n also dennis banging him and it reminds me of this fic idea i had for a while but i dont think i'm ever gonna make it so i might as well just say it

dee brags about having a date with this really hot guy who's at the bar n mac immediately feels smth between them the guy starts making eye contact and he just knows there's smth there so later he comes up to dennis n asks him for help to steal him from dee. he wants him to help sabotage their date thats happening tomorrow n dennis says yes bc he doesnt care if mac wants to bang ppl, dennis does it himself n he knows it doesnt mean anything plus pissing off dee is a bonus. so the next day he goes to dee's apartment pretending he wanted to hang out, puts some laxative in her drink n she obviously doesnt go to the date. ryan reynolds goes to the bar to meet dee n surprise whos there? mac. so they go out n dennis is "fine" with it. until he notices for weeks how mac is always with his phone n won't stop smiling n not coming home until the next morning so dennis asks him whats this all about n mac tells him "remember that guy dee had a date with but he was obviously more attracted to me? so we've been seeing each other all this time n i think we're going steady. i think i might actually like this guy" dennis is shaking n almost throwing up n then mac says "i wanted to thank you bc if u hadn't helped me sabotage their date we wouldn't be together so yeah thanks dude". then dennis has his kendall roy breakdown in the bathroom. then he does everything in his power to break them up he inserts himself in their dates he takes macs phone to delete their texts making them miscommunicate n mac is pretty oblivious about it but his bf isn't n dennis feels he kinda asked mac to distance himself a little from dennis and now hes going insane he has no resources anymore. so he does the only thing he can think of: hits on ryan reynolds who ends up being a cheater n they fuck. dennis tells mac like it was the most natural thing in the world saying he got suspicious about him being a cheater n just wanted to check, hoping mac will accept it, breakup w him, move on n everything would go back to normal. but he doesnt. he gets rlly upset n goes "what the fuck is wrong with u??? u're not even attracted to men n u banged him just to ruin my first long term relationship" he obviously wouldn't put 2+2 together that dennis wasn't straight n not even cross his mind that he might be jealous. dennis tells him he did him a favor that he was looking out for him and says "now that i clarified everything will u just breakup n we all move on from this? bc its starting to annoy me". but for dennis' surprise mac doesnt let it go n gets to the conclusion that dennis wanted to break them up just bc he wasnt a priority in macs life anymore n wasnt doing stuff for him like he used to n that he couldnt control mac anymore. he gets rlly hurt about this but deep down also bc dennis had gay sex and it wasn't with him. dennis wants to tell him the truth that he was just jealous bc he loved him n it was supposed to be him dating mac not ryan, that no one could understand mac better than he did n that everything was so clear to him now but he doesn't. he doesnt say anything n just lets mac think that bc he doesnt have the guts, bc its easier to let mac hate him. mac walks out the door and now the cliffhanger n angst is settled. dennis has to do the ultimate big romantic gesture to get him back

[s6dennis]

In another universe, Dennis never cries himself to exhaustion on prom night when he goes home early, humiliated and alone. In another universe, Mac smiles up at the priest without his heart hammering in his throat, waiting to jump out and betray his secrets. In another universe, they meet younger, or older. Frank doesn't exist. Barbara doesn't exist. Luther doesn't exist. Dee exists, but she isn't angry or hurt, and they stick together.

In another universe, Mac teaches Charlie to read instead of skipping English class to get high under the bleachers; he wears sleeves, but only in winter, and a cross, but only under his shirt. In another universe, Dennis studies at home at his rickety desk with Dee wandering around him offering distractions, and never steps foot in the library. In another universe, Mac eats Christmas dinner with three generations of family and they might not have money but it doesn't really matter. In another universe, Dennis complains about how ridiculous holidays are but always stays for seconds of dessert anyway.

In another universe, Mac reads books about dinosaurs and spaceships and cool orcs and no one says anything about them being for little kids. Charlie comes over and they listen to music and Charlie draws and Mac karate chops in a way that's almost dancing. Dee sits on Dennis's bed and they laugh at how stupid their cousins are and how they get too much homework and she passes him the pack of strawberry laces until they run out.

In another universe, they graduate and choose forgettable year book quotes and get their shirts signed by people who barely spoke to them but wanted to be remembered by them anyway. Mac and Charlie decide to go on a trip to the East Coast in the summer with an old truck Mac fixed up. Dennis tells his therapist he's feeling okay, really actually okay, and remarks how good it is that this coincided with him leaving for college. She agrees.

In another universe, Mac goes to college and lets Charlie crash in his dorm all the time and they go to random classes and parties and he still drinks too much but he doesn't drink alone, ever. He's never alone. In another universe, Dennis studies drama with Dee and the Reynolds Twins become well known around Penn; Dennis likes acting, might even love it, the way it feels to be so many things at once, and there's no pressure on him when he's not him. Maybe their parents cut them off for whatever reason, but they don't care.

In another universe, Mac meets a guy in a calc class who takes him for waffles and Charlie's waiting up for him when he gets home and he can't really say anything but he can't stop smiling either. In another universe, in a game of truth or dare Dee and Dennis discover they both want to ask out the same guy, and it turns out he doesn't like drama kids much anyway so it's more funny than anything. Dee finds a med student. Dennis makes her mixtapes to give to him so he thinks she has good taste.

In another universe, Mac changes churches three times before he finds the one he's looking for, and he wears swimshorts to mass and has nothing to confess. In another universe, Dennis wears t-shirts, and when someone say something he disagrees with he clenches his fists by his sides and shuts up til it goes away; Dee gives him a thumbs up across the room. In another universe, Mac is cool with not having great ambitions - he just wants to hang out with his friends, his boyfriend, have a good time.

In another universe, he graduates college just fine anyway, and the only thing he regrets is giving up his student membership to the library for Charlie to check out huge art books. Dennis decides he doesn't want to be an actor and Dee takes it well. He still gets front row seats to her shows but graduates with a major in math, because it makes sense to him, and it's easy, and he wants easy.

In another universe, Mac works as a mechanic and then in a Wawa and then he sees an ad for a bartending job. Two, in fact. He calls Charlie. In another universe, Dennis shoves his savings into a bar on the west side of the city. He could own it, start from the ground, and Dee could work there too around her auditions and things. He likes having his name on official documents. He likes being the boss of people.

In another universe, Mac thinks it's probably a bad idea to ask your boss out immediately after starting the job, despite what movies would have you think. In another universe, Dennis supposes he can always fire the guy if it gets weird. Luckily Dee doesn't fancy him, and has actually started seeing some girl from the coffee shop down the street. In another universe, Mac lets himself smile at Dennis with his eyes too, and holds the door open for him when they go into the back office to discuss his application. His cross is light on his chest.

In another universe, Dennis is twenty three and fresh and ready to start his life, really, properly, and feels like it was incredible good luck to stumble across a guy two months after graduating that looked at him like he could do anything. In another universe, they go to Guigino's and Mac orders spaghetti and wears two colognes and Dennis finds him hilarious but sweet, and Dennis overtips and bullshits his way through the wine list and Mac thinks he's beautiful in the candlelight, especially when he smiles, which he does a lot.

In another universe, Dennis gets nervous walking home, and Mac kisses him on the doorstep and Dee spoils the moment by hollering down from the window so that they break off laughing, Mac resting his head on Dennis's shoulder for a moment as he composes himself. In another universe, Charlie's still waiting up for him when he gets home and this time he can talk, because everything feels exactly the same but turned a notch brighter, like this is how it was always gonna be.

In another universe, Dennis gets to work every day with his three best friends, and they have loads of free time and meet lots of interesting people and Dee spends weekends in New York and Charlie goes with her to slum it backstage and Dennis and Mac always stay at home, at the bar, chopping limes and singing Phil Collins and coaxing the last-call customers to tell them their life stories.

In another universe, they move in together one month in and Charlie doesn't mind; he moves in with Dee and her girlfriend and everything goes on how it was going except Dennis doesn't sleep alone now and Mac has someone to lean into on the couch. In another universe, Dennis thinks Mac is the best thing that's ever happened to him and he can't quite wrap his head around what life would be like without him being right there.

In another universe, Mac rings home and tells his mom he met the love of his life, and she says: When can I meet him?

[officialbillhader]

GOOD NEWS @selkiestars heres your angst after only 6 days!! Soulmate au where person A feels the pain person B is experiencing and vice versa

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When Dennis's appendex almost burst, that's when Mac realized they were soulmates. He had spent a portion of his life thinking he had no soulmate and trying to convince himself that this was a good thing. He reasoned that soulmates weren't always good. Charlie was soulmates with the Waitress, but he made her life miserable, and she reasonably wanted nothing to do with him. They'd be better off with no soulmate. Mac was better off with no soulmate.

But when he was in a lot of pain with no actual cause, he was confused. The pain meds didn't help, eating didn't help, walking around didn't help. It didn't seem bad enough to go to the doctor, but it certainly did keep him home from the bar and laid out on the couch instead.

Until he realized that he hadn't seen Dennis for the day yet and he almost certainly should have seen him by now. It hurt to walk, especially after being still for so long, but he did it anyway to get to Dennis's door and tentatively knock on it. Dennis specifically told him not to come in, so he walked right in.

"Holy shit, dude," he said.

Dennis was sweating and pale and crying and curled into the smallest ball he could possibly curl into. The covers were thrown to the end of the bed, he was gritting his teeth, and it looked like his knuckles had grasped onto the bedsheets and had been there for hours.

Mac's first thought was, Dennis is dying.

Mac's second thought was, Maybe this pain is from his soulmate. Maybe we both have soulmates.

"I need to go to the hospital," Dennis managed.

"I'd say so," Mac responded. "You look like shit."

"My stomach is tearing through my skin."

That didn't make much sense, but Mac understood, because that's almost how it felt for him. Definitely not as bad, though.

"Why did you tell me not to come in when you look like this?" Mac asked, instead of making a move to help him off the bed.

"Not thinking straight. Take me to the fucking hospital."

"Ok, dude, calm down."

Dennis, of course, for good reason, did not calm down. Lugging Dennis out of the apartment, coupled with his own pain that only got worse the more he walked, was not easy, but Dennis's bitching only made it worse. Mac had no doubt that the pain Dennis was feeling was bad enough to make him want to throw up, but he had his own pain as well. He didn't have as much patience as was necessary for this situation.

Luckily, the ER nurses did, and before Mac knew, Dennis was being whisked into the OR. They shouted something about his appendix, how he was minutes from dying, how he needed to be cut open right this instant. All Mac knew was Dennis was about to have an unfortunate scar, and the pain in Mac's stomach was getting almost bad enough for him to think that his appendix needed to be cut out as well.

Until, suddenly, the pain disappeared. It was instant. There one second, gone the next. Mac was relieved to say the least, but also very confused. It only confirmed that the pain was from a soulmate, because he certainly hadn't done anything to relieve the pain, and, even more weirdly, it lined up exactly with Dennis's pain. By now, he'd be under for the emergency surgery, unable to feel the pain, blissfully unaware to the incisions made into his skin. As a byproduct, his soulmate would have no clue either. If one does't feel the pain, neither does the other.

But as perfect a coincidence as it seemed, Dennis couldn't be his soulmate. For one, Dennis was a man and neither of them were gay. For two, they've been together so long that either of them should have noticed by now. For three, it was impossible. Because he said so. He'd know.

Some time passed, a long time probably, and a doctor came out asking for him. He stood up, more nervous than he thought he was, and he was prepared to hear that Dennis was dead, no matter how unlikely that seemed. People just die at hospitals.

"He's not dead," he heard the doctor say, even though, in reality, the words were more about how the surgery went well, he was still under, he was in the recovery room, blah blah blah. "You can come sit with him." And he was beckoned to follow through hallways and hallways until he was placed within a recovery room.

Dennis looked pretty peaceful. His face was relaxed, his skin was flushed pink again, his features were softened. The doctor told him he'd probably be awake within an hour, and Mac took that to heart as he continued to wait and wait.

His brain wandered, though. Wandered to soulmates. If they were soulmates, how could they not know? It had to be impossible. They had been together, almost nonstop, for over ten years and never had Dennis noticed anything, and Mac certainly hadn't.

When Dennis woke, the first thing he did was smile at Mac, and wasn't that a sight for sore eyes. It's not as if Dennis didn't smile, especially for Mac, but after the day they had had, it was nice to know that smiling was still possible.

Dennis was loopy and he was told it was because of the medicine used to put him under, and then add the painkillers on top of that. Despite the surgery, Dennis was in pure bliss.

Dennis demanded that Mac take his hand, and he tried and failed to squeeze it, so Mac made up where he failed. Their hands stayed together, more for Mac's benefit than Dennis's, but it kept the both of them grounded. And with how high Dennis was acting, it was needed. He was loopy at best, out of his mind at worst, and it should have been entertaining, but instead Mac had that nagging feeling in his gut.

Was Dennis the one? Was he there the whole time?

"Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac," Dennis repeated, and Mac managed to ignore him for a couple minutes, but the man wouldn't quit, so Mac snapped and asked him what he wanted. "Did you know I just had surgery?"

"Emergency surgery," Mac responded, and Dennis laughed.

"What the fuck?" he said.

This would be the only time to ask Dennis. If they were soulmates and Dennis knew, this is the only time he'd admit it. Mac clamped harder down on Dennis's hand and ignored the comment Dennis made about his grip.

"Are we soulmates?" he asked, his heart beating out of his chest.

Dennis stared at him for some painfully long moments, then he started laughing. Full body laughs that came and didn't stop, but didn't make sense either, and there was no why they were good for him because he had brand new stitches, so Mac did everything he could to get him to calm down.

Who knew knock out medicine affected him this strongly. He could probably ask Dennis anything right now and he'd answer truthfully.

"Of course we're soulmates, idiot!" Dennis eventually burst, around the same time he snapped his mouth shut and pretended that he wouldn't say anything more.

"What?" Mac whispered.

Were the last fifteen years of his life a waste? Was he holding on to the hope that maybe he did have a soulmate for nothing? Had his soulmate been in front of him this entire fucking time doing nothing? Had Mac really lived with a constant ache in his chest only for Dennis to be the solution?

"Why the fuck wouldn't you tell me?" he almost yelled, and Dennis looked like he was going to match his energy, but then he smiled.

"Because I don't want to be your soulmate," he stated.

Everything around Mac dropped, falling to the floor in pieces, and it was all in a pinhole around his eyes, because he'd been living a lie. Ten years ago. Ten fucking years ago. Dennis knew. And yet--yet he still got drunk with Mac and said, "I don't have a soulmate, you probably don't either. It's easier without one." Then he listened to Mac bitch for hours because of course he has a soulmate. Everyone has a soulmate!

Then, after constant berating by Dennis for a year, he gave up and figured he didn't have one.

He truly was a fucking idiot. He should have known Dennis would do something like this to him and not even care.

He can't imagine knowing your soulmate, making an intertwined life with them, convincing them they didn't have a soulmate, then getting high and revealing it all in one simple sentence.

"I can't believe you, Dennis," he gritted out, trying to jerk his hand away from Dennis. Somehow, Dennis gained the strongest grip he's ever had, and all Mac managed to do was pull Dennis a few inches towards the side of the bed.

"I was scared, Mac!" Dennis admitted. "I realized that I'm so good at hiding pain, you never would notice! You didn't even notice when you broke your arm! Holy shit, that hurt a lot. But it's not my fault that I don't want to be your soulmate. It's not my fault. Please don't go."

Mac didn't have the time or patience to unpack any of that right now, so this time he succeeded in getting his own hand back and he didn't dare look into Dennis's eyes as he stormed out.

He didn't know how to deal with any of this.

[transcharliekelly]

top ten genders in it's always sunny

(number one being the most gender and ten being the least, relative to the rest of the list)

starting off strong with number ten we've got the duster

modeled here by one mac mcdonald. i just feel like if my gender were a hamburger wearing this would sorta be like ketchup.

for number nine we've got mac and dee's outfits in 03.14

bonus points awarded for the raging bisexuality i feel when looking at this image.

number eight brings us the one and only special agent jack bauer

i'm expecting this one to be the least relatable on the list and yet i feel no shame in adding him, nor do i intend to explain myself

number seven is dennis' ridiculous gay little construction outfit

look at that. love that little fruit. he looks like the gay neighbour your dad had in the eighties that he shows you a picture of and tells you "oh, yeah, this was burt. he lived with his roommate next door to us for thirty years". and then you're like, "dad, they were gay." and he has a moderately sized crisis about that and it's a whole messy thing

number six! i present to the judges: charles kelly

"why has charlie managed to evade the specificity of the rest of this list?" you ask. "he's an entire character. you couldn't narrow it down even a bit?". to that, i say this: get your head out of your ass.

bear with me here we're about to get a little weird. for number five, the fumigation tent from the world series defence.

i dont actually know how to explain this one but i know im right. i was actually going to put it higher but i felt like i had to be at least a little reasonable, so it sits at the midway point and you all get a small glimpse into the abyss that is my gender identity

number four is, again stick with me, frank's spider man outfit

if you follow me on twitter (@/bl00docean) you've likely heard this tune before, since i cant shut the fuck up about it, but i feel it's justified.

before we get into our top three, let's hear some runners up:

- bill ponderosa's goth child

- dennis' chemical toilet outfit BUT specifically when he goes to charlie's apartment afterwards and has jeans on over it

- whatever that guy charlie was in love with in dennis and dee's mom is dead had going on

- mac in mac and charlie: white trash

- charlie in mac and charlie: white trash

great! home stretch! thanks for sticking with me, folks. number three is this screenshot of mac and charlie in macdp1

look at that. obviously the gender is off the rails in this whole scene but this image is just... i want to take the gender here and bottle it.

number two! coming in hot we've got mac's chemical toilet outfit

incredible. no notes. rcg you've commited plenty of crimes and good god is having him only look like this for one scene out of the whole show one of them.

and finally, in first place, we've got the disgusting men's bathroom at paddy's

wow. high likelihood of contacting a venereal disease if you breathe in too much of the air. heinous checkered floors you could drown in. i could write an essay about the trans-ness of the yuck puddle alone. perfection.

[cat-in-da-wall]

day 10 of sunny-tober :)

self-decided prompt: the gang and rainy weather

charlie kelly loves rain! the best part of childhood days for them was when it rained. mom never let him out of the house, called it downright dangerous and told him he'd hit his head. but he managed to sneak out, introducing mac to this later on. he jumps around the puddles, splashing in them and sometimes rolling around in them. something about the water calms him, like he can focus on the sound unless if the thunder gets too loud, then he usually scrambles under the nearest shelter, normally to hide from the sound. as he introduces it to mac, they do a lot more stomping than splashing in the puddles. one of his favourite things to do when it rains is go out and scoop frogs. he'll pick them up and look at them— which is how he learned the difference between what frogs were poisonous and what weren't. it's the first animal he learned about! sometimes, he'd take them home and try to take care of them but they usually ran away or died.

mac doesn't mind the rain. it's there, it isn't, he doesn't care. unless he has to go out, then he's mad. umbrellas are inefficient for moving and often slow him down or block his vision, which leaves him completely unprepared for attacks from anywhere outside the 180 degrees. but the other alternative? raincoats? they suck. they cover up his muscles and make him look like a shapeless blob, which he hates. how is that threatening? how is he supposed to protect anyone? he used to try crafting clear raincoats with charlie from plastic bags and other forms of trash, but they often ended up being one or less than one use only. it wasn't until dennis bought a clear raincoat for him that he felt like he could enjoy the rain again.

frank reynolds could not care less about the rain. sometimes they annoy him, he can't go outside without traffic or some dumb idiots waiting for the rain to pass because they weren't prepared. what he does hate, though, is his clothes getting all wet with no payoff. at least in the sewers, he's going through them, exploring places. but the rain? he has to face it. being short also means he can get mistaken for a kid when people tell him to move and he's got an umbrella. he loves the thunder and lightning though, they sound like a sign from the gods and truly make him feel alive most of the time.

dennis reynolds is a peculiar case. now, he usually pretends that the rain isn't there. he tries to ignore the pitter-pattering that almost drives him mad some days, something about the way it all happens at once and yet never ends. as a kid, he used to be terrified of the rain. well not necessarily the rain, but what it meant. that lightning and thunder were going to come and he hated that. the thought that loud and bright attacks were going to come? he would often hide under his covers, refusing to even step out of the room regardless. dee usually picked up on this, building him forts where the two of them played stupid board games until the rain passed. now? he tries to get mac to distract him and they usually watch a movie, where he ends up falling asleep and so does mac. in one way or another, the rain ends up being good for him.

dee reynolds despises the rain. when she had the metal back brace, that thing rusted like shit, so she wasn't able to do anything outdoors the second the drizzling began. she was basically stuck indoors with nothing to do, usually resulting in her trying to read or dance before getting bored and ending up eating or doing something completely stupid. thank god for dennis' fear of thunder and lightning, or she'd have had terrible childhood rainy days. now that she's older, it's just another bad day. somewhat bad ones. the depression is worse with the rain, it's true. she just feels downright sad and ends up isolating herself from people, unless she's already at the bar or with the gang. then she's usually able to distract herself from it. it wasn't until pretty recently when charlie introduced her to running around in the rain that it turned into something somewhat therapeutic sometimes, though only when she wasn't alone.

the gang has probably all gone out and run around in the rain with each other at least a couple times

[deadhousep1ants]

Anytime You Need Me, I’m Right Here:

Description: Since Dennis left to father his kid, Mac has felt alone, missing his friend more than anything else. He’d been spending the night in Dennis’ room to try and counter his sadness, but he never anticipated that Dennis would end his trip prematurely.

——————————————————————————

Mac was having a bad day.

He’d spent the entire day just pacing around the apartment looking for something, anything that would make him feel better. He typically would seek solace in the fact that Dennis was there to listen, but Dennis just wasn’t there. He had been gone for upwards of a month, hanging out with his kid and being a present father.

As more and more time passed, though, Mac had become increasingly jealous of this child, a child that had done nothing wrong except steal affection from who needed it most. Besides, it wasn’t like the kid would remember Dennis being there or not.

Part of him knew that Charlie would always listen to him talking, but he didn’t want to bug him.

And besides, he just wasn’t Dennis.

No one was Dennis.

That’s how he got himself trapped in this situation to begin with. Mac knew nothing compared to his best friend, so he decided that the next best thing to seeing him was surrounding himself in all things Dennis Reynolds and that meant having a one person sleepover in his room.

There he was, just the same as he’d been every night lately, lying atop the almighty Golden God’s bed with only a thin blanket covering him. He didn’t dare get under the duvet, knowing this was probably already too much overstepping of boundaries as it is.

Dennis had come home unexpectedly a few minutes earlier, placing his luggage down outside of his closed bedroom door and walking to the fridge, presumably looking for a beer. He was yelling about something that Mac couldn’t quite make out (damn Dennis’ soundproofing) and milling around, clearly anticipating a response or welcome back of some sort, but none was going to come.

Mac was too embarrassed to tell him why he had been crashing in his room when Mac had a perfectly fine room of his own.

Another muffled hell came before he heard the dampened footsteps approach the door. This was his absolute worst nightmare: being caught doing something he was most certainly not supposed to.

He used to think this would only apply to what he did under the shadow of the night with men, but even since he had come out, he had become far more concerned with freaking his friends out.

Mac kept completely still as the dull, thudding footsteps nearer, wishing nothing more that he could disappear because how in the good lord’s name was he supposed to explain this? Taking a deep breath as the door knob turned, he prepared himself for the worst possible outcome, for the yelling and fighting that would happen, for the scratched cheeks he’d have, and for being called a perv and kicked out.

Most of all, though, he braced for losing his friend.

“What are you doing in my bed, dude?” Dennis asked gently, far from the angry man he had grown accustomed to, as he flicked the lights on, “have you been crying?”

Mac self consciously rubbed away his tear tracks with the blanket, covering his face with his hands. He hadn’t anticipated being embarrassed by his feelings, but here he was.

Feeling the bed dip down a bit, he peaked through bjs fingers. Was he acting child-like? Sure he was, but he knew that he would burst into tears the second that he took his hands off of his face.

“Can I touch you, Mac?” He was always good at asking for his consent before touching ever since Mac had begun feeling uncomfortable with them. For someone so generally creepy to most people, he had become more considerate of his friends.

Mustering a small ‘yes’, he felt arms wrap around him as the clatter of a pair of shoes hitting the ground startled Mac, causing him to flinch.

Dennis just held him closer, one cradling his head into his head into his chest and the other rested on the small of his back, “I’m sorry. I forgot that loud noises can startle you. You’re safe, though, Mac. You’re safe with me… always.”

Uncovering his face, he wrapped his arms around Dennis’ waist, burying his head in the dark blue button up. He was still scared of Dennis seeing him cry. It was his first back, he shouldn’t have to deal with his shit.

“M’sorry for invading your space, Den,” he mumbled, holding his friend closer.

“No need to be sorry. You can come in here anytime, whether I’m here or not.”

Smiling lightly, he slowly began tracing shapes on Dennis’ back, enjoying the feel of the shirt. Texturally, it was one of his favorites.

“What if you have a chick over?”

Chuckling gently, he pressed a kiss to Mac’s forehead, “you’re more important than a random chick to me. Anytime you need me, I’m right here.”

[megz-and-peaches]

I don’t think MacDennis is ever gonna be canon (although like who knows as this point) but I really hope that they like... address the change in Mac and Dennis’ dynamic? Properly?

Personally what I’d like to see is an episode where Mac goes off on his own and tries to spend some time apart from the rest of the gang. Like, we know from previous episodes (Misses The Boat, Gets New Wheels, Break Up, Gets Divorced, Chokes, Makes Paddy’s Great Again) that the gang pretty much can’t function without each other, right? But I actually think Mac would be... fine? At least, for a day or two? Not long term obviously but for a little bit.

So, say Mac finally gets fed up with everyone calling him annoying all the time and decides to get some new friends. He starts talking to a guy at his gym, asks if he’s interested in getting a drink sometime, the guy says he’s going to go see a Phillies game with his friends and he has an extra ticket, Mac could come along, maybe?

And Mac says sure, they go, Mac talks about how he’s always had a crush on Chase Utley, the guy is like “wait... you’re gay?” and Mac is like “Yeah, is that a problem?” and the guy is like “No, uh... the opposite actually” and they end up hooking up.

Meanwhile, Dennis is losing his shit. He tries to dye his own hair and he does a terrible job. He asks Dee if he has any wrinkles and she tells him he looks awful and super old and he ends up putting on three times his normal makeup. He forgets to eat all day. Frank starts manipulating him into doing things. He and Charlie go to play some pickup basketball, and Dennis ends up twisting an ankle because Mac didn’t rub down his calves or tape his ankles or any of his usual bullshit. Charlie doesn’t know how to help, and Dennis ends up screaming at him and scratching him the way he would do with Mac. Charlie eventually just leaves and tells Dennis to call someone who can actually help.

Mac and the guy from the gym are hanging out in bed talking. Mac is like “How did you know you were gay?” and the guy is like “Oh, I fell in love with my best friend... oldest story in the book” and Mac’s like “Yeah, I might know something about that.” They talk for a bit, and then Mac gets a call from Charlie who tells him that Dennis hurt his ankle and Mac should go pick him up.

Mac’s like goddamnit, but he explains to the guy at the gym that it’s an emergency and says he’ll call him. And he goes and finds Dennis, who is moping and crying his makeup off.

Mac’s like “See, this is why you need me around to keep you safe.” He scoops Dennis up and carries him home.

Later, they’re sitting and having tea, Dennis’s ankle is wrapped in a tensor bandage (Mac learned first aid because “saving people is totally badass” and also because people kept dying in the bar and it was becoming a liability issue). Mac is telling Dennis about his day, and Dennis is like “wow I can’t believe while I was having the most terrible day in the world you were going to see the Phillies with some hot guy” and Mac is like “you’re the only hot guy I want to see the Phillies with” and Dennis is like “Mac we’ve talked about this” and Mac is like “We should talk about it more”

And then they like. Have a conversation. Where Mac is like “I like you but I know you don’t like me back, I’m gonna try and see this guy again, if you really want more space from me I can try and spend the night at his place sometimes” and Dennis is like “I don’t want more space from you... I just want things to be normal” and Mac’s like “Yeah, sure. I get it”

And they just... move on and Dennis acknowledges that he needs Mac and Mac acknowledges that he’s probably not going to end up with Dennis, but things are still gonna be fine between them? This turned into like a whole episode pitch and maybe a little ooc sorry I just have a lot of feelings

god i hate to say it but..... honestly? This seems like an organic ending to their relationship (in terms of pining idiot and repressed idiot).

I feel like since mac came out he’s allowed himself to have crushes. like before, at least in my headcanons, mac had a crush on dennis since they met but as with pretty much all queer kids, crushes get confused with just wanting to be their friend really badly.. and now that mac’s out he’s like a middle schooler or something, finally allowing himself to feel giddy and realise that he’s actually in love with dennis.

and for dennis, i think he sees that mac is crushing on him and he doesnt know what to do with himself. because ever since he was a kid, his understanding of love is warped as a result of all his issues surrounding sex. to him, love is sex, and sex is power and control and unloving. and the last thing he wants is mac to love him, because that means mac will control him and hurt him. so he doesnt want love from mac. he just wants to be mac’s friend and throw himself around mac with the understanding mac will never try anything,

So they’re kind of at a standstill with each other, not really sure how to move forward with their relationship. And the only way to resolve it is just as you said: mac moving on from dennis and dennis realizing that he can still have mac around without all the strings attatched.

Anyway wheres my fic about this

[macronalds]

For Reasons, I recently found myself rewatching “The Gang Chokes” in order to examine Mac’s behavior and reasoning therein.  I ended up writing a stupidly long, probably stupidly stupid, essay about it, and had a lot of fun in the process, so I wanted to post it here for posterity.  Below the cut, please find in adapted form my argument for Why You Can’t Call A Plan Desperate If It’s Working.

ETA: The Reasons were helping the amazing @weareintheblankbit with the fic Add It Up.  Even if you make the right choice and skip this monstrosity of a post, don’t miss her excellent story.

——

To me, Mac doesn't seem predominantly panicky or fearful in this episode.

     His actions overall, here and in the later “The Gang Texts,” look like a purposeful abandonment of ego in contrast to similarly obsequious but more objectively pathetic behavior in “The Gang Escapes” (I have feelings about the sadness of season 13 and the dividing line of Mac Finding His Pride between then and the next year, but I can't work out how to figure those ideas in and keep this even close to a cogent essay).  Here, as in the opening “The Gang Gets Romantic,” Mac has a plan that he's constructed and is following - and while he does sometimes get stuck in the execution of it, on the whole he's successfully sticking to a throughline. For instance, when Dennis rebuffs his query at the start about what he will be eating, he doesn't get flustered about it, he just keeps on doing what he's decided is the thing to do.  "Again, Dennis, what am I to be having?"  And like, that's not really floundering.  It was obviously Dennis's idea back in the day to order everyone's meals for them (”The Gang Gets a New Member”); Mac's just trying to harken back to it.

    (Talking about back in the day, I have a whole thing about how the central "problem" over the course of their friendship, through like season 11, was that they pretty much were in a nascent "gay relationship.”  As long as they didn’t call it that, it worked for them.  The snag: Mac was afraid of being Gay, and Dennis was afraid of committing to being in a Relationship.  Mac, now, has finally become comfortable with himself - Dennis isn't there yet.  The story of season 14 for me is that Mac wants to return to the unnamed state of absurd closeness they had back then, but is trying to take the lead from Dennis in making it happen.)

    The thing is, I think this plan (to make Dennis happy in their relationship again) is mostly beginning to work here.  He really seems to have hit on something close to what Dennis wants: to be taken care of.  Dennis approves of many of Mac's actions in this episode.  For instance, Dennis is IMPRESSED that Mac remembers his dairy "allergy."  He's EXCITED for Mac to be his food gatekeeper, and waits expectantly for him to continue rejecting the rest of that pizza.  Mac has correctly identified a role that Dennis wants him to take on; it's just that he's bad at it, and that (the not remembering Dennis's problems with the other ingredients) is what gets Dennis's goat.  You see, although Mac is deeply caring, I think you can make a factual statement that his ADHD qualities* make him a bad schemer, and yeah, he is also fundamentally needy, and checks in for guidance too often for Dennis's comfort.  The points at which Dennis gets frustrated in Chokes are when Mac's ability to contribute what he wants from him in the relationship is compromised by his incompetence, leading to Dennis fearing that he can't really rely on him (and therefore anyone, because he doesn't come close to trusting literally anyone else).

*I refer to this sincerely, not in a glib way; please note however that I am not a mental health professional. I just want to refer to the traits he has that are associated with this diagnosis without proclaiming that I know he has it for sure.

    And that brings me to the question of: does a plan count as desperate if it's working?  It looked to me like Dennis wanted Mac to massage his muscles and tape his ankles, wanted Mac to warn him about pollen and carry him home like a princess.  He got back in Mac's arms twice after being dropped, for god's sake.  I don't think he's merely succumbing to Mac's fussiness for Mac's benefit, although Dennis may not want to admit that to himself.  Dennis always wants to feel like he's in control.  Micromanaging all of his friends helps keep him from spiraling out.  HOWEVER: quote: "With real power comes real responsibility, and I don't want any of that shit.  I just want the money and the illusion of power" (”Sweet Dee Gets Audited”).  I see a lot of utter exhaustion from Dennis in season 14, and I think stems of it lie in accidentally having convinced [Mac, himself, IDK] that his power and therefore his responsibility are real, and in feeling like he's alone in controlling his struggle of a life.

    So he falters in playing along with the intricate rituals.  He's afraid it's the wrong choice.  Mac's solution to this: aight, guess I'ma have to poison him and make it not a choice!  Mac states his opinion at the end of the episode that Dennis will inevitably see through all ruses, and potentially be impressed by Mac's devotion nonetheless, and I think that assessment includes the pizza shakes.  What's more, I think he's right.  We see Dennis looking curiously at the tumbler of protein drink on the basketball court, smacking his lips and turning it side to side.  I think it's obvious that he can tell straight away that it's made of pizza, which he has just reminded Mac that he's intolerant of, yet he drinks it anyway and shortly goes all faint.  When they get to the final restaurant trip, Dennis tells Mac he's feeling better, no thanks to his efforts.  Then, when a shake appears, he immediately decides he needs it anyway.  Again, there is no way he doesn't know Mac's making them out of pizza.  He's just so excited to play this damn game!  Dennis wants to depend on Mac, he likes being taken care of, and if he's been "poisoned," no one can fault him for not staying in control like he purports to want.  He just needs to be carried home again, goddammit.

    For me this episode is Mac is trying to take his cues from Dennis, to read the signs from him on what Mac should be doing as a good friend to him.  He's just not great at it.  Dennis is a complicated man, but also, Mac has never done subtlety well.  He needs to refine his approach, and in taking responsibility for his actions, including the ~fussing~, back off Dennis's shoulders, I think he succeeds.  Look at Dennis's face at the end of the episode: game, recognize game.  

     In conclusion, this is why I don’t think "fear and anxiety" ring true as a read for Mac’s motivations in Chokes.  Nerves definitely happen when he finds himself incurring Dennis’s ire in the course of his plan - a strong need for approval has been seared into the bones of this man - but the gestures of care and affection themselves aren’t born of desperation.  He knows what Dennis wants.  If he can get Dennis to let himself have it, he knows they can both be happy.  His plan is born of hope, and I think that noun just hits different.

the end :)

[badnew2005]

mac + the record by boygenius becos i love doing big posts like this :D

without you without them. found family of All Time. charmacden and the gang as a whole. the thousand billion different forms the gang has taken. it’s always them. mac growing up so neglected and lonely, desperately craving any mimicry of family and love he could find. and here comes this messy smelly kid who’s actually a couple months older than him but looks years younger. cat <3 mac 4eva . spending christmas throwing rocks at trains. it’s us against the world as long as we’ve got eachother we’ll be fine. and then come these rich bratty twins who act like they’re so much better than you but you know you and charlie are the closest thing they’ve ever seen to god. i want to hear your story and be apart of it. the gang unpicking their pasts unpicking what makes them Them. learning what you don’t Have to talk about, how to make life bearable. “a love letter to the mortifying ordeal of being known, written in a pandemic world that violently reminded us how much we need each other”…… that’s them baby!!!

20$. i’m stuck how longs the chevy been on cinderblocks as macden mac gaining/taking back independence and mac driving vs dennis’ sense of control being seen within the range rover. but just. oh this is So mac. it’s a bad idea and i’m all about it. long live project badass. whatever the idiots he loves suggests he’s there !!! i want to know more macden road trips. driving charlie around philly. driving to visit den in college. i cant summarise it well yet further than. ITS SO MAC !!!!! song about the “wanting to poke the bear impulse” hello mac. nice to see you here. having so much passion being ride or die for whatever ur friends want picking a side and dying on it no questioning. the subtle breakdown of that devotion. bickering. i Know you have twenty dollars. macden living together for Twenty Years. ran out of gas out of time out of money. the loves still there but they’re twenty years older and it can’t sustain itself running on nothing for this long. wanting a bit more. wanting to run back in time

emily i’m sorry. the cars !!!! can be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac. waking up inside a dream full of screeching tires and fire. the storm. the apartment burning down. all the wars mac and dennis are each fighting inside their heads that are keeping them from eachother. (again macden road trips i know you exist i want to hear more about you) suburbs maybe. and i feel myself becoming someone only you could want. that’s them. macden and the gang. someone only you could love. i’m sorry i just make it up as i go along. again both mac pov ab den and den pov ab mac. it’s their first time being this person coming out and everything that comes with being Them. sure they’re forty they should know better but. it’s their first time. i’m not ready! we could run away be other people. macden most comfortable acting as other people hiding behind fake identities. i’m sorry.

true blue. similarly could be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac but i’m sticking with mac pov. knowing dennis so well behind his lies and walls. loving him so passionately despite everything. the first two verses are just So let me tell you about dennis. den running away to college to north dakota fucking around to find out who he is calling mac confessing everything and nothing. and i wasn’t surprised! AND IT FEELS GOOD TO BE KNOWN SO WELL !!!!! I CANT HIDE FROM YOU LIKE I HIDE FROM MYSELF. they know eachother. too much. it feels Good from macs perspective. terrifying from dens. they’re on opposite ends of journey of coming out. even before mac started weathering the storm, dennis Knew him. ofc macden moving in together. straight after college or dennis slinking home from north dakota back to mac. it’s scary. he can’t live without him. YOU ALREADY HURT MY FEELINGS THREE TIMES IN THE WAY ONLY YOU COULD. again loving dennis so passionately, despite everything. i remember who i am when i’m with you !!!! your love is TOUGH your love is TRIED AND TRUE BLUE !!!!! it hurts ! and it’s ugly ! but i love you !! i do !!! i cant stop. i don’t want to stop. dependable and alarming and loyal never ending. YOUVE NEVER DONE ME WRONG EXPECT FOR THAT ONE TIME THAT WE DONT TALK ABOUT BECAUSE IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE WHO WON THE FIGHT I DONT KNOW WERE NOT KEEPING SCORE !!!!!!!!!!!! there’s nothing to say. it’s him.

cool about it. the dive bar. paddys <3. i’m trying to be cool about it !!!!! i love you !!!!! feeling like an absolute fool about it !!!! i love you too much !!!!!!! wishing you were kind enough to be cruel about it. times up. it’s never gonna happen. it is. talking himself into i can live without dennis without this love. i cant. wanting dennis to apologise. to be Real for once. to not run away. to shout and scream at him and everything he’s ever done. loving him Despite it. to validate macs feelings and experiences. absolution and all it’s religious connotations. religion woven into this love you can’t escape it. dennis as the golden god. dennis as a thousand sins, the ultimate temptation. wanting so badly to just forget about him to be able to walk away like dennis seemed to be able to do so. once i took your medication to know what it’s like and now i have to act like i cant read your mind i ask you how you’re doing and i let you lie but we don’t have to talk about it i can walk you home and practice method acting ILL PRETEND BEING WITH YOU DOESNT FEEL LIKE DROWNING tellin you it’s nice to see how good you’re doing even though we know it isn’t true. again. nothing else to say. that’s them. all tied up.

not strong enough !!!!!!!!!!! i know i have done a thousand not strong enough posts but surprise surprise the search function isn’t working. another jumping around perspective jumping around timeline. IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MAN. mac and the storm. mac getting so so so strong while dennis was in north dakota getting so so so strong to come out physically and emotionally. to find his pride. black hole opened in the kitchen their midnight teas inflate peeking into the kitchen. theyre drowning stuck in that apartment. but it’s also a lifeboat! the double i’m not strong enough to be your man i lied i am / i lied i am just lowering your expectations. i Am strong enough to come out, but you’re not. don’t expect much from me i don’t know if i can deliver it. I DONT KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM !!!!! i don’t know why i’m like this. i cant stop it. the bossiness the obsession. ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD !!!!!!!! the storm !!!! the storm !!!!!!!! no matter how hard he tires that war is never ever ending!!! gods never gonna come say ur alright mac it’s okay.

revolution 0. macs crippling lonely upbringing. whatever the fuck macdennis is. it’s not real. none of it is. whatever he thinks the love between him and dennis is. if it isn’t love then what the fuck is it. just let me pretend !!!!!! angry and violent child screaming for love and attention never quite learning how to stop, because love never found him! the storm. dennis vs god. maybe they’re the same. he would like that. being stuck forever the only people who have stayed Hate you and they won’t shut up about it. if you’re raised with an angry man in your house …. go and invite him in etc. i wish he was angrier. mom too. i wish they cared enough to shout at me. give me Something other than indifference. even if the gang hate me at least they tell me they’ll scream and shout and laugh and punch me. at least they see me.

leonard cohen. macden driving forever !!!!!! listening to dennis’ stupid music forever. trying to read into it to see part of him between the chorus and the verse. if you love me you will listen to this song. of course i love you dennis. i’ve been listening to rick astley since i met you. i promise i will never give you up. or let you down. or run around and desert you. even if you do it to me a thousand times (you will). you said i might like you less now that you know me so well. I MIGHT LIKE YOU LESS NOW THAT YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. cause i know you man. right after mac came out. I Know You. that’s terrifying. so he ran (around and deserted mac)! i think that’s true. telling stories we wouldn’t tell anyone else. the comfort of driving. den’s flimsy sense of control. not having to look eachother in the eye. music playing on the radio you can pretend you didn’t hear. “there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” sunny is a love story. and i am (not) an old man having an existential crisis at a buddhist monastery writing horny poetry. turning their apartment into a church. macs room a place of worship. i never thought love would happen to me i never thought You would happen to me

satanist. a satanist an anarchist a nihilist with me. let’s run away and hide and be someone else. they can’t catch us. i’ll go against god i’ll be a Satanist as long as You’re with me as long as i have you. please can we run away. do you want to be in my life a long time? i want you there. macden and hiding behind these fake personas. everyone else has talked ab this phenomenon a thousand times better than i am today. at least until you find out what a fake i am. i’m sorry i don’t think i can actually leave god behind. he’s the only person who loves me. we both know you can’t let yourself love me. honey and vinegar. you wonder if you can ever be seen from so far away a slow pull a seismic drift leaning over the edge of the continent. it’s so hard to come back!! you hang on until it drags you under.

we’re in love. they’re in love !!!!!! you could Absolutely break my heart. that’s how i know. loving dennis Despite everything. and i told you of your past lives, every man you’ve ever been, it wasn’t flattering boy you listened like it mattered. he’s trying at least. again a thousand times mac and dennis Having to hide behind aliases and masks. if you rewrite your life may i still play a part. dennis trying to run away to Be someone else but always having to come crawling home to mac. in the next one will you find me i’ll be the boy with the pink carnations pinned to my lapel who looks like hell and asks for help. that’s them. that’s always been them. there’s something about you that i will always recognise. we’re in love. it’s stupid and ugly and wrong in all the right ways and right in all the wrong ways. it’s us and it’s love!

anti curse. OUGHHHHH. i have already done a line by line mac analysis of this song ITS SO. it’s the storm! he’s drowning !!!! everybody else knew mac was gay but he’s Still drowning. making peace with my inevitable death drowning on the boat, mac coming out and abandoning god - the gang begging him to ask god for help, and when the heavens open and god answers they all climb and kick and push mac down to the bottom. and he drags them back down. he was ready to die with the gang. to go to hell. the gates opened god listened to him God Heard Him Say He’s Gay. being ready to die to be swallowed by this storm. i guess i did. alright considering !! macs relationship w his parents. with the gang. tried to be a halfway decent friend wound up a bad comedian. they all hate me. he’s spent his whole life begging for his parents to love him this moved onto the gang. but they all hate him. he’s a joke. was anyone ever so young? all they are is children begging for love and attention. unpacking god in the suburbs. meeting dennis. never being able to go back. i’m swimming back !!!! learning to weather the storm !!!!! dad. i’m gay. he’s not drowning!!! controlling the war holding your own little peace summit at the eye of the storm. you don’t have to make it bad just cause you know how. dennis begging and screaming for him to just go back in the closet. no! writing the words to the worst love song you’ve ever heard. loving them all despite everything. sunny is a love story. love in its foreign characters an incantation like an anticurse (or even a blessing!!!!) mac being the only member of the gang Not cursed in the gang gets cursed. he’s finally on a string of luck ! but fucks it up anyways

letter to an old poet. OH MY GOD. oh my god. i cant stop i just cant. you all know my s16 theme was macs anger!!! wanting to confront dennis but not wanting him to run again. it’s all bubbling. it’s coming. i said i think that you’re special you told me once that i’m selfish AND I KISSED YOU HARD IN THE DARK AND IN THE CLOSET you said my music is mellow maybe i’m just exhausted YOU THINK THAT YOURE A GOOD PERSON JUST CAUSE YOU WONT PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH . AND I LOVE YOU !!! I DONT KNOW WHY I JUST DO. but !!! you’re not special you’re Evil ! you don’t get to tell me to calm down. you made me feel like an equal BUT IM BETTER THAN YOU ! and you should know that by now. when you fell down the stairs it looked like it hurt and i wasn’t sorry !!! i should have left you right there. with your hostages my heart and my cat keys. YOU DONT KNOW ME !!!!!!!!!! i wanna be happy I’m Ready To Walk Into My Room Without LOOKING FOR YOU i’ll go up to the top of our building and remember my dog when i see the full moon. I CANT FEEL IT YET. BUT I AM WAITING. there’s nothing else to say. explaining it would just be patronising. he’s there!!!! he’s weathered the storm and he’s had enough of dennis fucking around. had enough of everything ever being about dennis. i’ve actually been through shit i deserve it dennis. i should beat you up. leave you out to try. i shouldn’t have let you back in. but i did! because of course i did! you stole my parachute blindfolded me span me around and pushed me out of a moving aircraft. but i survived. built my own campsite all alone. you made me cry you said goodbye you told countless lies and hurt me. that’s all you ever do. i don’t think you deserve to live blameless anymore. i want to hold you accountable. but you’ll just run away again won’t you. make everyone hate me for no reason other than you’re scared how much i know you. come on. you fucking coward. celebrity booze mac is calm and collected confident ab his outfit while dennis is almost falling apart. the argument on the plane. everyone else is scared. mac was taking notes. he’s not stupid he knows dennis was johnny. but he can’t Say it he Can’t scream and shout and beat dennis.

[gotta-get-back-to-hatchetfield]

The Gang Peddles Horse Pills

It was a quiet morning in Paddy’s Pub when Dee, Charlie and Mac found themselves sat round the bar chatting, while Dennis poured them out shots as a reward for their hard labours of scaring off any potential customers.

Just as he was beginning to pour out another round of some forgotten, nasty liqueur they had ordered for Halloween several years back, Frank Reynolds walked into the bar with a wide grin on his face and a literal skip in his step.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Dee, as he dragged round a stool to sit with them.

"I just came up with a brilliant scheme that's gonna make us a boat load of cash!” Frank announced expecting excited faces and rapturous applause, but instead was met with sighs and eye rolls.

“So I accidentally bought a bunch of these pills called Ivermectin off my friend Duncan,” he began to explain, undeterred by their scepticism, “I was trying to buy cocaine, it’s a long story, but anyway there I am thinking what the hell am I gonna do with all this crap, and then it hit me. You see I’ve been going around on all the local news stations and ‘free thinking’ podcasts, you know the sort, telling them that this shit cures covid but the liberal yahoos and deep state don’t want you to know about it, and people have started buying it like crazy. So, I bought up all the supply in town, now I control the prices and I am making big, big money off this thing.”

"Okay Frank, and what is this Ivermectin actually?" Dennis asked pointedly.

"Horse dewormer!” Frank answered as he helped himself to a shot from the bottle on the table, “yeh, you give it to horses to make them shit themselves. It’s really nasty stuff actually.”

"Frank, no one’s going to want to take a literal horse shit pill to cure coronavirus, when the vaccines are literally free,” Dee exclaimed turning back to her drink.

"Oh yeh wanna bet?” Frank turned to Charlie, who seemed more open to the concept than Dee and Dennis, largely because he’d been struggling to follow the conversation. “Hey Charlie, you wanna try some Ivermectin?” Frank asked.

"The horse stuff? Nah you're good man, I've already got a ton back home, I’m actually struggling to get through it all."

Dennis did a double take, as he was once again blown away by the state of his friends. "This is insane, Charlie do not take that stuff it doesn't cure covid and it’s almost certainly bad for you."

"Nah it’s fine man, I've been taking it for years now and once you get over the chest pain and excessive bleeding it’s actually a very positive experience."

"I'm sorry, you've been taking horse dewormer for years?!" Dennis snapped back, as Frank began to do a little jig and rub his hands with glee.

"Well yeh!” Charlie answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You know how like ketamin is horse tranquiliser and that works really well on humans, I thought hey why not try out other horse medicine, and so far it’s worked out pretty well for me.” He looked at the ceiling with his brow furrowed in concentration before concluding, “you know maybe man is horse."

"Man is horse? What the fuck are you talking about Charlie!” Dennis retorted before taking a deep sigh to try and calm the rage of the golden god that was burning within him. “Okay just as long as we're all vaccinated and none of the rest of us are drinking horse dewormer," he looked pointedly at Charlie who simply shrugged, "then we should be fine, you are all vaccinated right?"

"No dude what the fuck of course I'm not," Mac answered looking disgusted at the very thought, causing Dee, who has been sitting next to him, to move over a stool to distance herself from him.

"What do you mean you're not vaccinated?" Dennis asked incredulously.

"Dude those things are really dangerous!"

"What are you talking about?” Dennis snapped back, “Is this about 5G because you definitely don't even know what that means."

“No they literally give you covid," Mac answered defiantly.

Dennis rolled his eyes, as he began to explain the very basic premise on which a vaccine operates. "Yes that is literally the whole point, they give you a weakened form of the virus so your immune system can learn how to fight it off, that's why I make a point to take every vaccine I can. The golden god must always have a perfect immune system, and thus I must consume that which would seek to destroy me so I may absorb its strength."

"No dude," Mac said shaking his head, "Vaccines give you covid because when you get a vaccine you are telling the lord you no longer trust his almighty power, thus incurring his wrath so that he may well see fit to smite you down with covid.”

Even Charlie seemed confused at this point as Dee responded, "well I don't even know where to begin with that one."

Frank sensed an opportunity to peddle his horse pills, so put his hand on Macs shoulder in order to exploit his weakness for fatherly affection. "Listen if you're worried about covid you can always take some Ivermectin to help make sure you're protected from God's wrath. Plus, I'll give you a discount if you can sign up a friend too.”

"So this is a pyramid scheme too now! Great!" Dennis exclaimed sarcastically.

"I don't know is that stuff safe?” Mac asked, “It is supposed to be for horses."

"Anything that's safe for horses is also safe for humans,” Frank reassured Mac “I used to have a friend who was a top lawyer, and he always used to say to me 'you know Frank, man is horse'." Mac still looked sceptical, so Frank added "Also, I heard it helps you build muscle.”

"Oh really, where can I sign up?" Mac responded instantly, looking around for a clipboard.

"Oh come on Frank that's my trick," Dennis declared smashing his hand against the table.

"You know what Mac?” Frank asked, ignoring Dennis and massaging Mac’s shoulder with his hand, “How would you feel about becoming a social media star?"

Mac, who craved validation from father figures above all else, grinned at the prospect as he excitedly confirmed his interest.

"Oh Mac come on, he's obviously just going to make you peddle his horse laxatives for him. And seriously Frank? The people don't want to see someone hideous like Mac, they want someone handsome and charismatic like me!"

"He'll play well with the evangelicals. Come on Mac, I've got us a 2pm slot, we better go and get ready,” Frank said as he dragged a very excited looking Mac out the door.

Dee moved back to her original seat, feeling relieved Mac and any germs he may have been carrying were now gone, as Dennis stared at the door they had left through with his lips pursed in anger.

"Okay whatever, and you two?” he asked turning his attention back to Dee and Charlie, “You two better be vaccinated, because I cannot have unvaccinated people running around threatening the golden god's immune system."

"Yeh of course I’m vaccinated," Dee said sounding affronted.

“Okay well I'm surprised the needle wasn't snapped by your stupid pointy bird bones. And what about you Charlie are you vaccinated?"

"Against what?" he asked innocently.

“I'm sorry, 'against what'?” Dee asked incredulously, “Charlie why do you think you’ve had to spend a year locked in the house with Frank?"

"I'm not sure, I saw something about people were trying to inject us with bleach so we had to stay inside so they couldn't get us, and maybe the nightman was behind it all or something."

"Charlie please tell me you have at some point this whole entire year watched the news?!" Dee asked in abject horror, as Dennis looked seconds away from giving up.

"Listen a lot of things happen on the news, I can't be expected to keep track of it all. Besides, it literally changes every day, so there’s not really any point watching it because tomorrow it’ll be about something different"

They both starred back at him blankly for a while, as Dee wondered why the hell she still hung out with these guys and several options for ways to graphically murder him passed through Dennis’ mind.

"You are going to get vaccinated now, and I don't want to see you back here until you've done it." Dennis declared, as Charlie began to walk towards the door.

He paused looking back in confusion, so Dennis said, “Go on, shoo!” as he and Dee mimed shooing gestures, and Charlie tentatively made his way out of Paddy’s Pub in search of a vaccine.

[sunnykeysmash]

mac and dennis’ breaking point

Or, a continuation of the analysis of the development of Mac and Dennis’ dynamic, starting from season 9 all the way to season 14.

I’ve been thinking about this post, this post and this post for quite a while now, and since the OP of the first post, @softhowerton​, never continued the analysis post as far as I’m aware, I wanted to continue it myself and throw my two cents in as I believe there is an actual, clear point that shattered the relationship as we know it at least until season 14, and it isn’t just hero or hate crime as the post suggests, in my opinion. Spoiler alert or tldr: it’s Suburbs, click read more to understand why I think so.

Ok so, I’ve been rewatching sunny casually, trying to figure it out, I’ll admit I haven’t rewatched all of them so this is only gonna be a partial analysis up until hero or hate crime, after which I’ve rewatched all episodes, but anyway I still think I have enough proof on my part. I’ve had a little bit of a journey so I’m just gonna go through it in this post to make it comprehensive. 

Sure, in the past Dennis had said he hated Mac, but it was in front of the gang (Mac Day), and even so, his actions still seemed to contradict it, and especially Mac had not noticed any significant change in behavior on Dennis’ part despite all of this. Besides, it seems his hate was born out of Mac’s tendency to seek other people’s validation and change himself in the process, which we know is something Dennis hates. 

Anyway, see Flowers For Charlie for reference of their relationship still being fine here, the You’re The Inspiration scene. We can assume Dennis saying he hates Mac to the gang in Mac Day is not when he actually starts growing distant, quite the contrary, he cares a lot, as his outburst near the end when he demands Mac to be true to himself indicates.

So at first I thought the breaking point was Boggs, the season 10 premiere. It made sense as the episode ended up being very relevant later on and it’s the first instance of Mac letting Dennis go and accidentally hurting him, plus symbolically speaking, the episode right before it is Squashes Their Beef, where the macden apartment burns down.

However I thought more about it, looked at episodes after that, and Dennis still seemed to be very close to Mac. Especially considering them not having an apartment and sleeping on Dee’s floor (presumably close to each other) as pointed out at the start of Suburbs, they did have problems and yes Dennis had already began to shift his attitude, but they were still close, a breaking point had not been reached yet, post Boggs.

See The Gang Group Dates, the episode right after Boggs, where Dennis admits to giving star ratings to his own sex tapes for Mac (and Charlie) to make it easier for them to watch the best ones.

Or see The Gang Spies Like U.S., where they share their porn recommendations together and allegedly also jack off together. In fact, if anything, it almost seems like sleeping together in Dee’s apartment has made them closer, they’re back to being attached at the hip around these episodes, so again the crack of which we are witnessing the fallout to has not happened yet.

No episodes in season 11 ring any bells in terms of major conflicts until, you guessed it, Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs.

And if we take this entire episode into consideration, it’s clear that they had not had a breaking point prior to this, prior to Dennis snapping and saying to Mac that he hates him right in his face.

I took the liberty of screenshotting some moments prior to their big conflict in Suburbs that really highlight how close and comfortable with each other they still were.

No episode after this one has them be this close anymore.

I don’t think I need to point out that the breaking point is in fact Dennis saying to Mac’s face that he hates him.

For Dennis, it’s a build up, he has been silently collecting reasons to be pissed in general and at Mac during the whole episode, for Mac it comes all at once, with the realization that comes with Dennis outright saying it. Nevertheless, this is when their dynamic experiences the fracture, and it’s especially detrimental that it happens in the episode where they’re framed as a stereotypical heteronormative couple, roles they’re obviously not meant to fulfill, at which they fail miserably, and which plant in Dennis’ head the idea that they might not be meant to live as a couple at all (which will later play a role in his decision in DDL), and this living as a couple while not being one and failing contributes to the overall stress.

Let me explain what I mean by Suburbs framing them in stereotypical heterosexual roles since I’m at it, it’s quite simple, it follows most tropes you’d expect.

Dennis is the typical husband; he goes to work and provides the money, he has no time to provide emotionally for the wife, and contributes nothing to the home life, while also not letting the wife experience fulfillment in other ways, out of jealousy. Despite this, he himself does seek fulfillment elsewhere, reflecting the typical husband who acts jealous while also cheating.

Mac is the typical wife; cooking, cleaning, fixing. His work is hardly acknowledged at all, so he feels underappreciated. He feels cooped up and lonely because Dennis is emotionally unavailable, and all his attempts to cope with it are met with anger, possessiveness or frustration because they’re not what the husband allows.

Finally, they get a "reparatory child" in the hopes that it’ll fix the situation, and of course it doesn't work.

Keep all of this in mind for when I’m gonna tackle DDL later on.

Furthermore, speaking of Dennis saying he hates Mac, in the episode right after Suburbs, Being Frank, we get this dialogue:

Mac: “Hey, Frank? Do you think that Dennis hates me?” Frank: “What?“ Mac: “I just want him to think that I'm cool, you know? And I just feel like- is this a little bit lame? I just feel like I can talk to you about this kind of stuff.” Frank: “Yeah? Oh, yeah, you can tell me anything.” Mac: “Really? Oh, well, honestly, I just feel like...” [...] Mac: “You know what I mean?” Frank: “Yeah, yeah. Totally, totally.” Mac: “Yeah, okay. Well, look, if you could just casually, off the cuff, mention that I can bench-press [...] I think that he'll respect me.”

Now, I might be mistaken since as I said I haven’t rewatched every episode, but as far as I remember, Mac has never asked to anyone or himself if Dennis hated him prior to this moment. Aside from all of this, it suggests a correlation between fitness stuff and impressing Dennis for Mac, which makes Mac being ripped at the start of season 13 all the more tragic, and is again reinforced when the doll shames him and he starts doing crunches in response to it.

Again, I wanna stress that Dennis and the gang knew about Mac being gay before he came out, of course it’s said in Mac Day, but we’re reminded of it yet again in The Gang Goes To Hell pt1, with the dialogue:

Mac: “There are two guys in this church that are gay.” Charlie: “Who's the other guy?” Mac: “I don’t get the joke.” Dennis: “What’s wrong with that [anyway]?”

And later when Mac actually comes out, we’re reminded by the reactions.

All this time, and especially in Mac Day, it has been implied heavily that Dennis dislikes Mac when he’s in denial and desperately trying to be someone he’s not, yet, as soon as Mac actually comes out for the first time in The Gang Goes To Hell pt2, Dennis becomes outwardly angry, defensive and distant. It’s no wonder that in Tends Bar Mac seems to think that Dennis acts like that because he’s uncomfortable with Mac being gay, as the two elements seem to coincide perfectly every time, but as Charlie rightfully points out, he already knew, so that can’t be it.

The Gang Goes To Hell pt2 actually has some interesting dialogue relating to all of this.

Mac: “Welcome to my first ever dinner party. I'm gonna have lots of these types of functions in the future, you know, with my new lifestyle.” Dennis: “Wow, you're really just diving right into that, huh? Just, stereotypes and all.” [...] Frank: “So get rid of my dog?” Mac: “Yeah, no dogs. [...] We do not allow dogs in our house, right, Dennis?” Dennis: “Wh- Our house? Wh-Why's it our house?”

A couple of interesting bits, such as Dennis getting suspiciously pissed about Mac supposedly stereotyping his own sexuality, despite it not being Dennis’ place at all to get offended.  Mac saying that dogs are not allowed in their house, one could assume because of the Suburbs incident, so again, another reference to that conflict. And finally Dennis somehow being surprised that Mac would call it their house despite the fact that they have lived together for 20 years so it’s only natural that he’d say that. Again, Dennis gets defensive.

It’s hard to pinpoint why he would, if we stress the fact that they were all always aware of Mac’s sexuality. It might be because when Mac was closeted, it was never an actual discussion, but now that he’s out he’s always mentioning it, and in general we have enough proof in the show to say that Dennis tends to get defensive at any mention of gay that could be traced back to him, even if not related to Mac at all. Remember how offended he got on Mac’s behalf in The Gang Texts when Dee called him the f word, and then how abruptly he changed the subject.

This is interesting, as the dialogue that I included from part 1 would have you assume he has no problem with the subject in general, only when it can be traced back to him, when he feels exposed or when it’s been talked about negatively. So we can assume Dennis feels uncomfortable being perceived as non-straight, and this still rings true as of season 14, to a lesser extent.

So we arrive to season 12, and what stands out to me is that Mac keeps noticing how Dennis has started to act pissed towards him all of a sudden and for seemingly no reason. Remember, both of the times Mac acknowledges it in any way before Tends Bar (which are, Being Frank and Making Dennis Reynolds A Murderer) happen when he is not out yet. So despite Dennis acting pissed in Goes To Hell pt2, he has no clear reason to be distant as of yet if we don’t consider Suburbs the breaking point, because Mac is not out yet in those two episodes.

In Making Dennis Reynolds A Murderer, we get this dialogue, after a short bickering between them with Dennis acting annoyed about their new movie night antics which Dennis insists are not funny, while Mac insists they are:

Dennis: “Are we done with this? Can we be done? I'm tired of saying the same things over and over again.” Mac: “Well, wait. Wh- hold Dennis, d-don't leave without me. I mean, dude, look, are you mad at me?”

As we know thanks to Texts, Dennis supposedly hates repeating himself. It seems there’s some communication issues at play, with Dennis constantly saying some things and Mac misinterpreting them, which deeply resembles Texts’ conflict as a whole. 

Dennis is mad about something;

Mac senses that he’s mad about something, is distressed by it which leads him to either avoid the situation or confront it directly, in this case he asks him about it. The distress also makes him insecure, which Dennis dislikes.

Dennis thinks Mac is not genuine about his distress, that he’s not actually sorry and just wants Dennis to stop being mad. Mac becoming defensive and lying, hesitating or doubling down doesn’t help his case. Mac’s track record in misunderstanding Dennis doesn’t help either (see, Dines Out, when Mac didn’t get the speech was for him, or Suburbs, when Mac didn’t get that Dennis was implying he got him a dog until he literally had to tell him). Mac does not perform well when subtext is involved, either positive or negative. Dennis only communicates in subtext, again both positive and negative. This creates a discrepancy.

Anyway, because of this, Dennis does not come forward with the reason he’s upset at Mac. He just keeps being upset.

Dennis at this point thinks Mac never listens and never gets him and is never remorseful for his actions, so he has stopped trying to communicate his hurt to him, resorting to suppressing his feelings of anger instead.

This dynamic started with the Suburbs conflict, but I need to go more in detail to explain why I think so.

Let’s take Dines Out as an example of their ideal, usual dynamic.

How do Dennis and Mac behave usually when one hurts the other?

For Mac it’s:

Dennis is hurtful to Mac (laughs about the karaoke machine)

Mac demands respect and confronts him directly

Dennis doesn't take him seriously

Mac almost goes away

Dennis reveals his feelings/apologizes to keep him from leaving

For Dennis it’s:

Mac is hurtful to Dennis (not recognizing the speech was about him) 

Dennis snaps

Mac apologizes

It used to be like this, but then Suburbs happened, and suddenly Mac is afraid that if he stands for himself Dennis will hate him, and Dennis thinks Mac doesn’t care about his feelings.

So now, post Suburbs, it’s like this.

For Mac it’s:

Dennis is hurtful to Mac

Mac doesn't say anything because he doesn't want Dennis to hate him

Dennis keeps being hurtful to Mac because he’s unaware he’s doing it 

For Dennis it’s:

Mac is hurtful to Dennis

Dennis doesn't say anything because he thinks Mac won't be genuinely sorry or won’t care

Mac keeps being hurtful to Dennis because he’s unaware he’s doing it

So it started with the explosive conflict in Suburbs, and Dennis has been clearly distant, or mad, since, as the episodes seem to point out, and it only got worse, eventually becoming exacerbated with Mac coming out and risking damaging Dennis’ public image, but not starting because of his coming out.

Dennis is also not mad because of the dog or for what Mac did, necessarily, of course that hurt him but he’s mad more in general about Mac’s inability to recognize when he has hurt Dennis and own up to it and apologize. We have seen it time and time again, that’s usually when Dennis scratches Mac, and in Texts it’s especially apparent when he comes up with an excuse instead of apologizing. Aside from that, he’s also mad at Mac’s constant need for attention and validation that was also showcased in Suburbs, amongst other things, with the terribly oppressive visual gag of Dennis opening the closet only to be inundated with Mac and Cheese boxes, symbolizing Mac’s overflowing need to please Dennis and receive praise from him.

As of Chokes and Texts, it seems that both of these conflicts have found a resolution. 

Chokes resolved Mac’s problem in dynamic, letting him once again stand up for himself even against Dennis. Texts on the other hand resolved their problems of miscommunication but specifically Dennis’ problem in dynamic, letting him know that Mac does feel sorry when he hurts him. Again, all very positive developments.

So, getting back on track, the episode right after Making Dennis Reynolds A Murderer is, in fact, Hero Or Hate Crime.

Despite saying that he hates Mac at the end, which I interpret to be entirely performative, he still makes the very nice gesture of proposing that they let him have the rest of the day to feel happy. 

Not only does this clearly show that Dennis doesn’t hate Mac, even post Suburbs, it shows that he cares about Mac’s feelings to some extent, and it also shows that he’s happy for him that he came out. He’s not reacting negatively, he’s not lashing out at Mac. He might’ve been deeply impacted, as we see in his expression and behavior, but he does not hate Mac for the choice of coming out. I’d go as far as to say that he’s proud of him. And it checks out with what we know thanks to Mac Day.

PTSDee doesn’t give us more insight on his relationship with Mac, but he doesn’t go out of his way to try to include Mac at all.

The episode after this, The Gang Tends Bar, is a clear example of the argument I was trying to make. Dennis ignoring his feelings and acting like everything is fine, until he no longer can, he’s cornered and he snaps.

Everything I can say about this episode has already been said better by the post I linked at the beginning, but still, notice the dialogue:

Mac: “[Dennis] is acting, like, so weird, especially towards me. I think it's because I'm gay and he's, like, totally uncomfortable with it.” Charlie: “Yeah- Well, no, 'cause he's known that forever, so it's, you know...”

The episode itself does not show us Dennis being particularly distant to Mac, so we can assume that this is meant to be taken in general. Again reaffirming what we know.

All in all, Dennis wants Mac to care about him and his feelings, wants to feel loved by him, but is not ready to be perceived as non-straight, so he ends up pushing Mac away, which comes easier considering how he’s still mad at Mac at this point in time.

Although, more than mad, as Dennis’ Double Life happens, I’d say he feels hopeless, that’s what his final stare communicates to me.

As the RPG, the symbol that represents romantic love and the possibility of a romantic relationship with Mac, sits on the counter right at the end, as the apartment is fixed like nothing ever happened (which reinforces the concept that Mac tends to sweep conflicts under the rug in Dennis’ eyes), he wonders if maybe what he has with Mac is truly unfixable, and decides to go away and try to seek what he truly desires (romantic love and to settle down) with someone else, but not before hesitating at the door, hoping Mac will care enough to stop him.

By going away, he’s in part trying to rebuild a life for himself like he wants, and in part hoping that the drastic gesture will lead Mac to care, without realizing that he already does. As the title suggests, a true Double Life.

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that Dennis’ Double Life deeply parallels Suburbs.

Starting from the obvious, the trend of the names of Dennis’ serious lovers starting with “Ma” continues.

Maureen, Mandy, Mac. 

Yes Mac is not a lover as of yet, but the implication is clear, and it doesn’t end there.

Check this dialogue:

Mac: “You got me a dog?” Dennis: “Yeah.” Mac: “Oh, Dennis, Dennis. I'm gonna name him Dennis. You're Dennis. He's Dennis Jr.” [...] Dennis: “You with me, buddy?” Mac: “I'm with you. I'm gonna raise this guy like he was our own son.”

So, metatextually, Dennis has a “son” with Mac in Suburbs, that Mac names with Dennis’ name + Jr.

And then, in DDL, it’s discovered that Dennis had a son with Mandy, which she called Brian Jr. His perceived name, Brian LeFevre + Jr.

Making a parallel this clear leaves me to assume that Dennis’ “double lives” mirror each other in every aspect, including his potential relationship with Mac being that of a couple.

And with the RPG, which again symbolizes their romantic love (it was inside the crate, which Dennis remarks “is always empty, there’s nothing in it”, because he has “opened crates” all his life and never found love, which is, as he says, “the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the entire world”; so, as I said, a loving relationship where he can settle, like he was trying to build with Maureen, and like he tries again to build with Mandy, failing both times as there is no love on his part), again sitting on the counter in DDL as Dennis leaves, it seems that the only thing standing between Mac and Dennis and a relationship at that point in time is the conflicts born because of Suburbs, which were still unresolved during DDL. And so Dennis leaves.

What happens from this point forward is shrouded in mystery to me.

The entirety of season 13 is vague, ambiguous, and I can only give my personal interpretation of it, so that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Verbally, and in public, Dennis keeps pushing Mac away. Of course, they’re still mad at each other because the ND incident has scarred them both and they’re hurt, plus they haven’t resolved their issues, but surprisingly enough, Dennis shows no problem with inconspicuous intimacy. He holds Mac by the shoulders when they’re alone in Escapes, he keeps his leg uncomfortably close to Mac’s in Times Up and even shares complicit glances in Time’s Up the likes of which we haven’t seen since Suburbs. He also outwardly seeks Mac’s attention in New Wheels (you could argue he seeks the gang’s attention, but the framing of all the shots make it look like he’s talking only to Mac), and wants him to come to the concert in Bathroom Problem.

Mac on the other hand is letting Dennis have full control, but it appears that he’s no longer walking on eggshells trying not to get Dennis to hate him, he’s not avoiding saying when he’s hurt when he has to. He doesn’t protest often, but he does do it, in Bathroom Problem for example, or when he asks Dennis when the photo of him he shows in Time’s Up was taken, or when he ignores him at the start of New Wheels, so the reason for Mac not saying anything most times must have changed. I don’t know what it would be, possibly just not to hurt Dennis if he can help it.

At the same time, Dennis is going out of his way to be mean to Mac, by lashing out where he knows it hurts. The first thing he says to him as he comes back is “Hey, Mac, did you gain a little weight?”, and in Time’s up, again “Well, guess what, pal? You are ugly, and it doesn't matter how much you work out. It's never gonna change that fact.”

Actually, let’s take Time’s Up.

His whole rethoric and speech towards Mac falls apart at face value the moment you actually recognize his message.

Dennis: “But guys, I got some good news for you. Okay? It's not a crime to be ugly. But you can't be ugly and sloppy.” [...] Dennis: “I got the documents to prove it, so don't try coming at me. But some of you you just haven't been careful enough. So you're asking yourself, "What can I do to save myself now?" You got to clean up your act. Otherwise, you're going down, and you're gonna take me down with you, and I ain't going down.”

When it comes to the others, it makes sense, what they do is recurrent criminal activity, and if they get busted he gets busted. But in which way does this apply to his very personal rant to Mac? How is Mac being affectionate the way they’ve always been in the past going to bring him down, especially considering he never had a problem with it in the past and especially considering he has not done anything particularly unusual that we could see in recent times? 

Continuing:

Dennis: “I'm just saying we need to be more careful so we don't get accused.” Mac: “And we should probably stop harassing them.” Dennis: “Uh, well, you know, I don't know. One step at a time.”

Dennis’ point was never “stop doing what you’re doing”, it was don’t get caught doing it, have proof that you didn’t do it, that you weren’t complicit. What’s his proof? The public rejection he just did.

Dennis: “You know, you got to stop kissing me, man. I don't want it. I don't want you touching me at all. Okay, it's never gonna happen. All right? Not willingly.”

By publicly stating this, he’s constructing a clear alibi for himself in case he gets caught, but his intent was never to ask anyone to stop what they’re doing, just to stop being sloppy with it.

Which is why this whole episode, coupled with the subtext in Escapes about “keeping it between themselves”, is very confusing to me, as a whole, for their implications.

Either way, in Bathroom Problem it’s shown that Dennis still feels insecure in his sexuality or uncomfortable with being mistaken for non-straight, going out of his way to point out time and time again how much of a heterosexual male he is.

Skipping Clip Show’s moment of realization (”Dennis, everyone knows that the most annoying person in the world is Mac. So why would you ever want to live with him?”) since it’s unclear what exactly happened, this leads us to Mac Finds His Pride.

Nothing of note here, except for Dennis supposedly feeling claustrophobic driving the pride float, and Mac saying he’s “not ready for a relationship”.

And that is pretty much it. Despite everything, aside from Chokes and Texts, there isn’t much indication of what’s going on between them in season 14.

They seem to be back to being reasonably close, and there seems to be something that is making Dennis progressively angrier as the season advances, but it’s left mostly unclear what that is, especially considering that he’s still unbelievably mad in Global Warming, Jumper and Chop, despite the conflict between them being already resolved by that point.

Dennis is somehow shown to be “uncomfortable” sharing a bed with Mac, despite having slept next to him on Dee’s floor for at least a good year in the past, but he’s not against physical contact, he has no problem stretching on top of him in Chokes, or letting him massage his pecs after a workout (although that’s in private). He looks happy when Mac winks at him, and he even winks at Mac himself while saying “smash test” in Jumper, whatever that implies.

All in all, they’re comfortable with public touching and vicinity again, and the problems that stemmed from Suburbs should be resolved, so it must be something else making Dennis mad and frustrated, and whatever that is it has something to do with Mac failing to do something. Thanks to Chokes, Global Warming and Jumper, we know it seems Dennis wants Mac to do something, but what that is hasn’t been revealed in text yet, so we can only assume.

Still, Dee Day seems eager to remind us about Dennis’ Feelings, with the dialogue:

Dennis: “Today of all days, and now I'm being forced to listen to her feelings? I won't do it. And who cares about her feelings anyway? Nobody, that's who. What about my feelings? Now, that's interesting.”

So I’ll leave it at that. Either way, if season 15 does happen, it seems the direction their dynamic is headed towards is very much promising. Fingers crossed.