#im right about all of these btw if you try to argue youre wrong

[bearieio]

ellie w. hcs :3

bc im seeing them everywhere and i need to put in my 2¢. thank you. (also not proofread :P)

⋆ biggest hayley kiyoko fan for like 3 years (the intro to ‘girls like girls’ was her ringtone when she was 14). would beg joel to take her to random record stores that they passed by just to see if they had any hayley kiyoko cds.

⋆ because of joel, she listens to a lot of 70s-90s dad rock. 

⋆ can’t drive for shit. like literally she’s not allowed to drive without her glasses

⋆ she needs glasses btw. she doesn’t wear them because she’s already too much of a loser. but when she does where them, you tease her endlessly about them. 

⋆ can and will sleep on the floor whenever prompted. no blankets, no pillows needed. just her and the floor.

⋆ isn’t allowed to drink any sort of energy drinks on account of a previous incident that had to do with about 3 cans of redbull and 2 large cans of the ‘Java Monster.’

⋆ isn’t allowed to own small pets (like gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters, etc.) because she’d definitely forget about them. 

⋆ owns big dogs. great danes, newfoundlands, irish wolfhounds, mastiffs, st bernards, YOU NAME IT, SHE HAS IT (or has had it)

⋆ when she’s older, i feel like she’d be like one of those white people who has 192793999 dogs for no reason 

⋆ since her mannerisms are so much like joels, you guys argue playfully all the time about how things should be done, often bringing others into it too. 

“jesse, tell her!” he flips her phone screen around to reveal a very tired jesse, “it’s 1AM, ellie-“ 

“TELL HER!” 

⋆ i feel like at random times, she’ll just grab your boob(s). i don’t know why and you’ve never said anything about it, so she hasn’t stopped…… very handsy….

⋆ audibly goes “honk honk!” almost every time she gives ‘em a squeeze.

⋆ she’s a really sloppy kisser. not like boy-sloppy, but like the hot, messy, girl sloppy bc that sounds better and honestly i think her kisses would be the best.

⋆ she was one of those kids who’d eat dirt and find bugs all the time

because of this, she’s the designated bug killer/bug-getter-outter…. idk

⋆ she’s the worst drunk you know.

like literally sssoooooooooo messy oh my god. but you love her nonetheless :)

she’s soo clingy, and, touchy (like more than usual), but also much more emotional and sensitive than usual when she’s drunk or when she’s sick.

⋆ ellie tends to be quite difficult when she’s sick. BUT! you make it work bc you love her and she loves you :>

when you bring ellie her favorite drink from her favorite coffee shop, you literally have to fight her to be able to get out the front door. when you get up to serve her lunch, you’ve got to peel her off of you because she refuses to let you leave her side. when you go and get the medicine she says she doesn’t need…. you guessed it, she fights for you to stay in bed next to her.

“babe, what if i die right here, when you leave- like- BABE PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME-“ she bewails, crossing her arms and huffing at the sight of you leaving her.

⋆ when you catch her playing her guitar, she sometimes gets all shy and plays the wrong chords n stuff. 

“don’t LOOK! >:(” she says, gripping the body of her guitar, glaring in your direction.

“oh!- okay” you say, throwing your hands up in a playful manner, giggling. 

⋆ but the times where she’s not shy about playing in front of you, she’ll ask you if you want to play.

“do you uh- maybe wanna play? i could teach you” she suggests, gesturing toward the stringed instrument.

but then after, she’d tease you about your finger placement :(

“i said the fourth fret, girl, not the second, or, the third!” she says, in between laughs.

“well fourth from the top or the bottom?!” you scoffed, looking at her, still puzzled.

she knows your trying your best but it’s still fun to poke at you when she can >:)

constructive criticism is appreciated !!!

[graysnetwork]

Hiiii I saw your Keegan work and I must say I love it and I was wondering if you could write something with Keegan where he and s/o having an argument and how they make up

Hi!! Ty for the compliment 🤭🙏🏼 this was such a good idea!! 🫶🫶

(Not my gif obvi) (but my man)

So usually you two don’t argue, it’s very rare, but it’s doesn’t happen sometimes

He would probably get upset with you if you had done something a bit risky, like being close to an edge of something with no railing,

or almost touching fire by accident, things like that

But one day you found his guns and you checked them out and one of them was loaded in case of an intruder

And you didn’t realize and Keegan found you and got mad that you were snooping through his things

You started getting mad at him for not telling him about the guns

You two were obviously just mad in the heat of the moment and you weren’t that upset you just wanted answers

He cut you off in one of your sentences and said “y’know what, im leaving, I’ll be gone for a while” or “I can’t do this right now sweetheart. Im leaving” and he would give you a quick peck on the lips hoping you would get distracted

But it only made you even more upset

He left for a few hours so you made dinner and put some food in the fridge for him

While he was gone mid drive to the park to cool down, he realized how dumb the argument was and he wanted to apologize to you for not telling you, cause you were right (ofc u were)

But Keegan’s really awkward about all that stuff cause he’s “always right” and he’s “bratty” as you say

So he wouldn’t really know how to tell you “I’m Sorry, you were right”

So he went out to go get you flowers and a card, cause he’s better at writing then saying it to you (he’s better at saying how he feels in letters and card then saying it to you cause he shy and doesn’t know how to articulate anything)

And then he went to the park to let himself cool down and think for a while

When he got back home you were just coming out of the shower so he left your flowers and card on the kitchen island

He decided he would try to apologize to you, face to face, but when he to your guy’s room you completely ignored him

“Don’t ignore me sweetheart” is what he’d say but you just continued getting ready for bed

He just sighed and accepted that you would act like this since you were upset, so he went to his last resort… in the kitchen

….

He tightens the jars in the kitchen so you have to ask him for help

It’s the only way he get you to talk to him when your mad at him but it works every time

And you never realized which he’s so great full for

And then the next day you wake up, go to the kitchen and read the card Keegan wrote

“Y/n, I realized you were right and I’m sorry about not telling you about the guns, the only reason I have them is incase something happens and I just want to be safe. I just never thought that you would need to know about them, and it was stupid of me not to tell you, because you could someday need to use it. The argument was stupid and I was wrong, im sorry honey, can we please just talk and work this out? Please forgive me sweetheart”

Btw he’s a very good writer, he loves writing

Anyways

Back to the head cannons

You smiled at the letter and the flowers he got you, but you weren’t going to wake him up yet, so you decided to make breakfast.

And you needed help unscrewing the pancake batter (like the one that u shake)

So you had to go into your guy’s room and ask him for help

You shook him by his shoulder till he finally woke up “hm? What’s up” he said rubbing his eyes, you held the mix out and said annoyed

can you open this for me” and he took it and opened it for you, to put some dramatic affect you crossed your arms

You weren’t mad at him but you wanted him to think you were cause you weren’t gonna let him off that easy

“Thanks” you said when he opened it and left the room, he just smiled to himself, hoping you would cool down soon

He sat up in bed and grabbed a bright pink sticky note off of the night stand, it read “hurry up and brush you teeth, so you can eat with me handsome”

You had made a note for him and left it when you came into the room ☹️🫠

[lovemyromance]

Can people stop saying Elriels are changing Elain & Azriel's personalities to make their ship work?

First of all, SJM wrote a bonus chapter and 3 books of buildup in the background for Elriel already. We didn't just make up the fact that they're very into each other - SJM literally wrote that in the books.

We don't have to change anything about them. They are already attracted to each other and interested in each other in the text at this point.

Could we sit here and argue that Azriel sitting in the garden with Elain, Azriel sensing she's missing and in danger when the Cauldron kidnaps her, Elain looking to Azriel for comfort, Elain getting him solstice gifts, Azriel wanting to beg on his knees for a taste of her, Azriel giving her truth teller, Elain kicking the hounds off him, Azriel making everyone wait for her to eat dinner - We can sit here and argue and say those things are "strictly platonic" or "he's an incel who only lusts after her" (not sure how both can be true but okay). We can do that - but it won't change the fact that it is ON THE PAGE. THEIR MUTUAL ATTRACTION is IN THE TEXT.

Cool? Cool.

Next Point: Nobody is changing shit about Elain or Azriel.

It's like the antis saw one post about "oh Elain could be a cool warrior" all the way back in like 2015 and have held onto that like that one grainy af Elucien Facebook comment that one account keeps posting as responses to elriel posts (y'all know who im talking about right 😂).

Allow me to give you a refresher: It is currently 2024. Nobody is trying to make Elain be a warrior. I think most Elriels are of the opinion that we do NOT want ACOSF 2.0.

What we do want to see, is Elain potentially as a spy. AGAIN - not a warrior. This is not changing her personality. She is already a Seer - it is not a stretch to want to see her delve into her powers in the next book to use them to SEE and gather information. Elain is ready to help, she literally says "Find me when you wish to begin."

If people are complaining about fan arts where she's holding a dagger - I'm like 99% positive that dagger is truthteller and you cannot be complaining about an actual canon scene where she has been the only other person to touch that knife in 500 years, apart from Azriel. Not even Mor, his one time love, has touched that knife.

And Elain holding truthteller is in the official ACOTAR coloring book - BTW. So if you have an issue with Elain being depicted with a dagger - take it up with SJM's team.

Let's talk Azriel:

Genuinely not sure what people are saying we are changing about Azriel to better fit Elain?

People bring up the "oh he's too dark for Elain she will shy away from him" um. No. It's literally in the text how Elain calls his scars beautiful and does not balk from him.

Also .. what darkness? I did an entire post on what the hell is Azriel's darkness even and still, nobody had an answer for me because ??

We can't be reducing this man down to a job he took very very reluctantly and clearly hates. He doesn't like torturing people for answers, guys!! Y'all make it sound like his love interest can only work if she's his literal torture assistant or something 😭😭

"Hi azriel, you have a 11 o'clock coming in for the usual water boarding treatment." <tucks hair behind ear and nods earnestly> "and then afterwards, I will wash the blood off your knife and accept your darkness?"

Is that what y'all want 🤨🤨 don't be weird smh

Azriel says it feels wrong to touch Elain because HE FEELS UNDESERVING OF HER?? Have you never read a romance novel? The tortured hero being so reluctant to even touch his love because he's afraid his sins will taint her goodness??

Please people. Listen to like... a Hozier song before you try to understand this man because maybe then you might get a crash course on him. This man is so Hozier coded, it's insane to me that people think of him as some fuckboi incel.

Nobody is changing anything about Azriel and Elain. They are drawn to each other and understand each other without having to say a single word. Their love story is already starting out to be the healthiest: friends to lovers. They have been given a title: death & his lovely fawn.

Their very names mean Azriel "God is my help" or "Angel of Death" and Elain means "Light" or "Fawn" or "God has answered my prayers"

It's already on the pages and if you can't see the writing on the walls, perhaps it's time for a reread my friend.

[2knightt]

Ok ok I got an idea for smth🙈 so basically like y/n is sodapop’s twin sister and we have a thing for dally but we gotta keep it a secret obviously 🤭 but dally also has a thing for us so like we’ll sneak around and stuff and go secret dates😍😍 BUT GUESS WHAT DARRY, SODAPOP AND PONYBOY FIND OUT😱 I’ve had this stuck in my head all day

Btw I love your work so much🙏❤️

↳hey lolita, hey!₊˚✧

➬ dallas winston x curtis!reader

a/n;THANK U SO MUCH ANON OMFG🤍 also, im inlove with this idea.i went overboard..again.

you’ve had a crush on dallas winston for god knows how long.

well—that’s what the gang thought.

in reality, you were just nervous to be around your boyfriend when your relationship can spill at any moment around the gang.

two months you’ve been sneaking out behind your brothers backs to go see dallas.

two whole months of this secret, you’ve basically become a natural at this!

one night, dallas told you to meet him at this cute little bar, the two of you always go there.

nobody would think thee curtis sister would be anywhere near a bar, so, you thought you’d be totally safe!

darry, soda, and ponyboy were fast asleep by 10PM.

so you left at 11, just to make sure!

you left through your window, making sure to leave it open—just a little bit, though. you still had to get home!

when you got out, you ran to the bar to go meet up with dallas.

when you got there he was outside, leaning against the wall, smoking.

you walked up to him and greeted him with a smile,

“hey dal! i’m sorry if you were waitin’ long..”

“it’s fine, doll. come n’ have fun with me, huh? everything’s on me.”

you tilted your head and smiled at the last sentence.

nothing’s ever on dallas, that just means the two of you are gonna have to run when you’re done with whatever you’re gonna do in the bar.

the two of you spent all night, laughing, fake arguing, and kissing. like how normal couples do!

“dallas! do you think other people can’t hear you?”

“when the bar’s this loud, i don’t think people can hear their own thought, y/n!”

by 3AM, you were freaking out.

you never stay out this late, you’re normally home by 1, but never 3AM!

you tugged at dallas’s jacket whilst he spoke to the bar tender, probably trying to get another free drink.

“huh? what’s wrong, y/n?”

“it’s 3AM.”

“…so?”

he asked, his eyes squinting as if he was confused on what you meant.

“are you forgetting who my older brother is?! if he finds out i snuck out, i’ll never be able to leave the house again! let alone sneaking out to see you, dal!”

shit, you’re right.

darry can get quite scary, not even dallas wants to face him when he’s angry.

darry’s big, tuff, and smart.

he ain’t stupid, he could hear you coming in at 3AM.

“shoot…you want me to walk you home? it’s dangerous for a pretty girl like you to go walkin’ home by herself.”

you smiled at the compliment and nodded your head. maybe dallas coming for a walk to your house could calm you down.

well—that’s what you thought. until you notice, three houses before your own, you saw the porch light was on.

you stopped walking and the smile you previously had on your face faded as you let go of dallas’s hand.

“what’s wrong, doll? what happene—oh fuck.”

“you see that?! we ain’t never gonna hear the end of it!”

“you mean YOU ain’t gonna hear the end of it.”

“no i mean we. if i go down, so are you.”

dallas sighed at your stubbornness, he knew once you set your mind on something, you ain’t never changing your mind.

but that’s what he liked about you, so he couldn’t do anything but continue walking you to your house.

he tried to lift the mood with jokes, but you immediately shut them down.

“so, how long you think you’re gonna get grounded for?”

“how long do you think darry’s gonna kick the tar outta ya?”

“jeez okay, just ruin the mood.”

your heart started to beat faster as you took a step towards the stairs.

each step you got closer to the door, the heavier your foot steps felt.

dallas had walked ahead of you to peek inside of the window, and sure enough, two out of your three brothers were sitting there.

sodapop and darry were sitting down, soda on the couch and darry in his recliner.

dallas turned to look at you with a scared face.

even he didn’t want to get a lecture from either one of ‘em, let alone a possible beating.

“what do we do??”

“why are you asking me like i’ve done this before, y/n?”

“because you’re fucking dallas winston! i wouldn’t be surprised if you killed someone!”

the two of you whisper yelled while crouching down, trying to avoid being seen.

dallas shook his head while you started to bite your nails.

“should i just walk in?”

“maybe they already know, doll. they just think you have a crush on me…it ain’t that bad!”

“when they thought i had a crush on you, i got a 30 minute lecture by darry on why i shouldn’t date you.”

“oh. maybe you should’ve listened.”

he joked, shining his famous smile in your direction.

you giggled, elbowing his side as if you were warning him to not joke around like that.

“should we just go in?”

“yeah, we really can’t avoid this.”

“yea… hold my hand, dal. too scary to do it alone.”

dallas’s eyes softened at your request. you showing your vulnerability always made him smile, made him feel tuff, and trustworthy.

like he wasn’t just a hood, that he can be more than that.

he grabbed your hand as the both of you stood up.

you took a deep breath in and opened the door.

darry was the first one to react, he stood up and immediately darted his eyes to you and dallas’s hands being intertwined.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing? you come in here at 3AM, holding dallas’s hand like you’re a couple!”

“holy shit, y/n and dallas are dating?!”

darry turned his head to face sodapop and that immediately shut him up.

“seriously, do you think i’m stupid?”

“c’mon darry…”

“no no, don’t ‘come on, darry,’ me, y/n. what were you and dallas doing?! are you two actually a thing?! what’s with the hand holding?!”

“and if we were..?”

you said, making an awkward face.

darry’s face flashed with anger, but then he took a deep breath in, and out.

“and if you were, i’d kick the tar out of dallas.”

“darry, don’t say that! dallas and y/n are cute!! i’m glad our little girl is growing up!”

you scrunched your face at sodapop, and darry did the same.

you heard dallas chuckle to himself when sodapop said that, too.

“soda, so god help me.”

“yea—i’ll shut up.”

darry took a step closer to you, looking scarily calm.

“answer my question, y/n. what were the two of you doing?”

you looked at dallas and he shrugged back.

he didn’t wanna get in the middle of this, and neither did you.

goddamnit.

“we were hanging out…can i not hang out with dally?”

“no, you can. just, not holding hands that’s for sure.”

he answered, crossing his arms.

you turned to face dallas once again and asked,

“should we just tell ‘em?”

dallas thought for a moment and nodded.

he leaned in and whispered in your ear, if you’d like him to tell them himself.

“well, darry, im uh— i’m datin’ your sister.”

“what.”

“yeah…”

darry’s eyebrows were raised as he slowly turned to look at dallas.

“how long?”

“twoo—ish months?”

“TWO MONTHS, OF SNEAKING AROUND? Y/N CURTIS.”

“darry! i knew you’d react like this, c’mon. just hear me out. i ain’t a child no more! i can take care of myself, plus dal hasn’t done nothin’ to hurt me, ever!”

you shouted, pleading with darry to hear you out, just this once.

you squeezed dallas’s hand tighter for comfort, and he returned it back. he held your hand harder, like he was trying to let you know he was still there.

“please dare, i really like him. just give him a chance, please. that’s all i’m asking.”

you begged your older brother.

darry sighed and looked at dallas,

“if she comes home crying, i’ll kill you. now get to bed, y/n. it’s 3AM.”

he said, waving you off to your room.

sodapop jumped off the couch wirh excitement and rushed to dallas.

that exciting aura faded quickly as he put a hand on dallas’s shoulder.

“if she tells me ANYTHING bad about you, i’ll make sure you can’t eat any solid foods for a month, dal.”

dallas’s eyes widened before laughing.

“yeah right, soda.”

“AYE, I CAN BE INTIMIDATING TOO!”

“can you?”

you laughed to yourself as you entered your room.

you were about to close your eyes when you heard your door open.

you looked up and saw ponyboy with his face scrunched up.

“dallas? seriously? you couldn’t pick anyone else, y/n?”

you smiled at your younger brothers frustration.

“cherry valance, really?”

“HEY THAT’S DIFFERENT!!”

“no it ain’t!”

may 28th, 2023. 9:20PM

[inhibitionfreewriting]

Omg can you elaborate more on gaming with hasan? i loved that Sims 4 ask

just to throw it out there, if @the-phantom-author hadn't answered that ask, my brain would NOT have started going so blessed be their existence and their writing, so please check our more of their stuff (if you haven't already devoured their blog like i have 💀)

hasan definitely feels like a guy who has two specific gaming with his partner vibes, on stream and off stream.

on stream - if it's a co-op game, you are still against one another and it's more fun for that. bread and fred? you are lucky if you make it past the tutorial without laughing to the point of tears. he will not anchor when you tell him to and is consistently inconsistent with his jumps. chat is blaming him (when you are on stream, you are the monarch, no ifs ands or buts about it) and he's trying to gaslight chat into thinking that your counting is off or bad. the goal of the game could be "keep the garden alive" and all you have to do is click on the sun and a rain cloud, and you two would be turned against one another.

if it's not a co-op game and it's like a regular multiplayer, my brain immediately went smash brothers lmao, no matter how bad either of you are at the game, gloating is not off the table but there will also be a lot of quiet soft moments of "no you're not clicking the right button, its x". he may want to be on top and kick your ass but playing the games together are not fun if you don't have the same foundation as him or anyone else that's playing.

if it's something like the sims 4, it is bicker city. you two can't even play stardew valley without arguing about where something goes. you tried the "new" (its like 10 years old now oh my god im aging myself) sim city and he spent 20 minutes lecturing you about the taxes in your city being done wrong and you just stared into the camera like you were on the office. chat was losing it at how exasperated you were. you have lost track of what he's saying but you do know that you are doing the opposite of what he's told you to do (chat is tattling on you for taxing the lower class bracket at the highest and basically not taxing the rich at all)

off stream? i don't know if you've ever lounged around with someone on a couch and played a console before but. let me paint this image for you.

you're both on the couch playing mario party, propped up on pillows as you lean, your legs stretched out on his lap. when it's not his turn he's got his hand on your legs or his arm around you, this man fidgets with your body like you are made of fidget spinners. it's getting late, there's food on the table in front of you that's on the verge of getting cold but. you two are comfy and egging each other on, but it's not nearly as loud and over the top as it is when the stream is on.

there's one night where you're both laying on the couch and he's on top of you with his head on your chest, tired from just being THE hasan all day, and you are playing animal crossing, controller above his head. sometimes clicking through dialog or taking a moment to just stroke your fingers through his hair.

the peace btw never lasts for long because Kaya senses it and will jump on top of you both when you're not paying attention and knock the wind right out of you.

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked and had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

[corrodedcoughin]

Omg thanks to your "Eddie throws himself a funeral party" post I literally cannot stop thinking about Stripper! Steve. (absolutely no pressure to do anything with this btw! I'm just aaaa! at your idea)

Like omg. Did Steve get into stripping bc he got cut off and disowned by his parents and desperately needed any job that would take him? Did he seek the job out bc he thought it'd be fun? Why should he be ashamed of exercising, entertaining, looking hot, dancing, and then getting paid to do it??? Fuck yeah

Side note the image of best friend Robin stealing a pair of Steves clean tearaway pants bc she wants to know what it's like to rip them off is very funny to me. She has them on over her jeans. She's had a glass or two of wine and is standing in the middle of Steve's living room awkwardly trying to rip off a pair of tearaway pants that are far too big for her

AHAHHA!!! Please come join me!!! There’s enough stripper Steve for everyone! Funny story Robin actually got the call handler job first through a college friend but obviously platonic soul mates cannot be separated so Steve applied for a job there too. He wasn’t fussy about position, just handed his CV in and hoped he’d get to keep working with Robin.

The employers took one look at Steve when he came into the office and told him he has hired. As a stripper. He took a moment to adjust but thought if it means he gets to work with Robin, he’d do it. (That’s what he tells people, the truth is the ego stroke at the immediate job offer was enough to sway him. He thought it would be a fun job and he was tired of retail).

And Robin plays with ALL the stock! She’s got horrendously ugly nipple tassels that she stuck to Steve’s chest and they both ended up almost crying trying to take them off him without waxing his chest (Robin tears might have been from laughter shhhh). She’s got a feather boa that she loves and wears in the office because she feels it gives her a ‘better phone voice’ nobody’s argued with her yet.

As soon as Steve finished any gig he’s on the phone to her, giving her the run down of any drama or funny stories. She gets a little worried when she doesn’t hear back after the Munson party, tries to call the person who booked and gets Eddie on the phone ‘hello, Eddie’s fun funeral, Gareth speaking’ and Robin thinks she must have the wrong number, she must have written something down wrong but all her records tell her she’s right???

‘Hi. Um…im sorry, this is going to sound so insensitive and im so sorry but…did you hire a male stripper for your event?’ Robin is smacking herself in the face as she says it. Knows she’s going to get in trouble from her manager

‘Sure is! Can’t spell funeral without fun! He’s a little busy with the man of the hour though’ she can hear laughter and loud music through the receiver. Steve is stripping at a funeral, for the dead guy?

‘Ummm I’m sorry but I don’t think company policy allows for stripping for corpses. I’m going to have to refund your booking. Please send Steve back’ Robin is way out of her depth. What the fuck is going on? How did she let this happen?

‘Ah no dude he’s alive, very alive by the looks of things. And sos your employee. I dont know who’s having a better time to be honest’ Gareth sounds sane but Robin doesn’t know if she can really make that call over the phone for a guy who books strippers for funerals where people aren’t dead.

[dykeyote]

obviously i know of the wonderful real and true lesbian hermie but i would still like to hear ur thoughts on her :3

HIII :3 thank u for the excuse to explain because truly i feel so strongly abt this . here is my extensive reasons as to why hermie unworthy could never be anything but a lesbian and ur hcs are all wrong and this IS a personal attack on you btw <- thats a joke this post is very silly and not meant to be an Actual Theory but i DO feel strongly

lezzermie realness: a manifesto

REASON 1!!!!!!!!! again . WHAT WAS THE BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM THING ABOUT . and this isnt "actor character randomly dresses up as kiera knightley from bend it like beckham for no reason" which to be clear . would still make me raise my eyebrows . HOWEVER hermie isnt just any kind of actor shes a SPECIFICALLY DC ACTOR . she ONLY does dc characters . the ONE other time is when she's dressing up as scary for like a Real Reason . this is not a real reason its not even a musical or a play or smt its not even theatre kiddy . what are you trying to say hermie others will silence you but i will let you speak

REASON 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! further reasons will be predicated on the assumption that scary marlowe is a: a lesbian and b: that her crush on hermie is lesbianistic in nature . this can be proven simply w the line "im not like other girls i dont like ned or earl but when im with you my heart shatters or smt along those lines i cant be bothered to check verbatim" . abt hermie . oh so youre not into GENERIC MASCULINE NAMES like OTHER (STRAIGHT) GIRLS but hermie is different ...... this is successfully✅ proven . also she compared her and scary to the joker and harley ..... and scary STILL had a crush . i dont think anybody could tolerate that unless it was from a lesbian 🙏

REASON 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with this assumption presumed ....... now i know what you were thinking in reason one when i asserted hermie only broke dc those tow times . "val thats not true he was jack on the titanic" . to that i say YES ...... she did an overdramatic romantic scene riffing on an iconic straight couple from a historical movie with (as we have 100% proven) a lesbian w a dykey ass crush on her . whats more lesbian than that . thats the butchfemmiest shit

REASON 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hear you cry from the crowds . but valentine ur MISSING something . ur WRONG . because NORMAL!!!!!!!! to which i say normal is so obviously a girl to everyone but herself lets be real . the eldritch beast she has this deep connection with and empathizes with immediately is fixated on being a bad girl? she has a whole arc where she tries to be a normal son and boy to appeal to her parent who doesnt approve of how she chooses to express herself and picks a masculine name to go w it in contrast to . um . i mean i guess an adjective is gender neutral??????? hermies a lesbian FOR normal not DESPITE normal ......... also lesbians can be mlm and have complex genders too . me for example . bigender swag which hermie absolutely has

REASON 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if we assume normal's arc is transgender THEN we must observe the parallels with hermie and come to the same conclusion of girlmie (or boygirlmie but bigendermie is a convo for another day) realness . both created to be a specific type of son (normal well Normal, hermie a joke machine) both Not Quite Right in a way they cant shake both reaching out for a new more fitting identity which in hermie's case EXPLICITLY includes gender nonconformity (we will discuss next bulletpoint) . and if we prove girlmie by way of her crush on scary (and as previously stated normal) we prove lezzermie

REASON 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dressing up as poison ivy isnt necessarily lesbianistic because she dresses up as other dc villains HOWEVER!!!!!! i will argue that the way she goes about it is uniquely suggesting of dykery . a: she flirts with normal .... THROUGH poison ivy . distinctly RELATED to poison ivy . this is lesbian behavior and reinforces my prior point and b: she REPEATS poison ivy ...... which she rarely does with others she goes through Eras with the rest of them but abandons them after HOWEVER!!!!! she does poison ivy sexy and gets sort of interrupted . THEN does batman in the spiderboyz intro . THEN goes back to poison ivy in hell........ why does she only repeat the known lesbian 🤨

REASON 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERMIE unworthy ... HER MIE .... like her and me ...... instead of her man (heterosexual in nature) she chooses herMIE . normal holds her face and goes YOURE HERMIE (her x me) . think about it guys . think about it ........

ok anyway thats enough of my ramblings . this post is very silly if u cant tell but i am a #believer

[s0m3b0dy2u]

https://www.tumblr.com/s0m3b0dy2u/771579345917591552/httpswwwtumblrcoms0m3b0dy2u77151989926266470

baby you are loud and wrong!! it’s okay!!

and here’s your answer:

https://www.tumblr.com/salemlunaa/771681172879212544/exactly-i-always-think-takes-like-this-are-dumb

okay, okay, first of all T-T

don't call me baby. like, thats to everyone. its one thing if my partners or friends are saying it, but otherwise it feels mad condescending

second of all, what are you doing in my asks? like fr just leave me alone, i dont fucking like arguing, this is actually so fucking stupid.

like im genuinely in a bad mood as it is and probably shouldnt even be posting right now but i can not take this passive aggressiveness holy fucking shit bro

third...

what am i wrong about? /genq

like actually??

in this post all im saying is that shiftblr (particularly people like you) can tend to be mad toxic (emphasis on tend)

(which, btw: pls stop proving my point T^T )

shiftblr likes to claim its so pure and claim its better than other sides of the community, and its really annoying!!

i know why you might think youre better, you dont spread as much misinformation, you try to be helpful, uhm... oh, wait, those are... kinda the only differences.

im not saying shiftblr is a bad place, but the... shiftbr supremacists ig (idk what else to call it) make it a really uncomfortable space for me so here on my blog, im saying it.

ive... kinda seen as much good advice on here as i have on shifttok, HOWEVER, im not looking for advice: i dont read advice posts and i dont watch advice videos so i genuinely wouldnt know.

the thing with shifttok is to find good people, you have to know where to look. but you dont look. you take the example that proves your point and run with it (which is the same thing all fucking haters do. for example: are trans people really indoctrinating your kids? most of us arent. maybe one or two, but transphobes see that one or two and label that whole community as such.)

i have to state, also, i wasnt on the internet until 2022 and i wasnt on tiktok until 2023, so i definitely wasnt on 2020 shifttok...

there is harsh motivation everywhere, and toxicity everywhere: welcome to the internet

yeah, i think thats that.

this post doesnt "answer" anything. all it does, for me anyway, is reinforce how toxic some people are

ive read that post before, its a reblog of one of my own posts, picking apart the post but not really. it only talks about one moot point id made, the repetitiveness, which was not the point of that post at all.

salemlunaa opens by calling my take "dumb asf" without, apparently, knowing what my take even was. maybe i did a bad job at arguing my case though, because multiple people seemed to take the same thing out of it???

i do think shiftblr is probably equally toxic, although a completely different kind of toxic.

the repetition isnt a problem, its telling people that "ITS YOUR FAULT" and calling them stupid, that's the problem. it hasnt bothered me, but it has bothered others, and i wanted to say something about it.

also, while we're here, what do they mean when they say "idk what to tell you but i guess you’ll be in this community for a long time."??? /genq

this line is more confusing the more times i read it.

anyway, i have nothing else to say as the rest of it is salemlunaa being mad i compared shiftblr to shifttok

on top of that, i said i was done making posts about this and i really fucking mean it

the whole internet is toxic and nobody is better than anyone else!!!

[transcharliekelly]

top ten genders in it's always sunny

(number one being the most gender and ten being the least, relative to the rest of the list)

starting off strong with number ten we've got the duster

modeled here by one mac mcdonald. i just feel like if my gender were a hamburger wearing this would sorta be like ketchup.

for number nine we've got mac and dee's outfits in 03.14

bonus points awarded for the raging bisexuality i feel when looking at this image.

number eight brings us the one and only special agent jack bauer

i'm expecting this one to be the least relatable on the list and yet i feel no shame in adding him, nor do i intend to explain myself

number seven is dennis' ridiculous gay little construction outfit

look at that. love that little fruit. he looks like the gay neighbour your dad had in the eighties that he shows you a picture of and tells you "oh, yeah, this was burt. he lived with his roommate next door to us for thirty years". and then you're like, "dad, they were gay." and he has a moderately sized crisis about that and it's a whole messy thing

number six! i present to the judges: charles kelly

"why has charlie managed to evade the specificity of the rest of this list?" you ask. "he's an entire character. you couldn't narrow it down even a bit?". to that, i say this: get your head out of your ass.

bear with me here we're about to get a little weird. for number five, the fumigation tent from the world series defence.

i dont actually know how to explain this one but i know im right. i was actually going to put it higher but i felt like i had to be at least a little reasonable, so it sits at the midway point and you all get a small glimpse into the abyss that is my gender identity

number four is, again stick with me, frank's spider man outfit

if you follow me on twitter (@/bl00docean) you've likely heard this tune before, since i cant shut the fuck up about it, but i feel it's justified.

before we get into our top three, let's hear some runners up:

- bill ponderosa's goth child

- dennis' chemical toilet outfit BUT specifically when he goes to charlie's apartment afterwards and has jeans on over it

- whatever that guy charlie was in love with in dennis and dee's mom is dead had going on

- mac in mac and charlie: white trash

- charlie in mac and charlie: white trash

great! home stretch! thanks for sticking with me, folks. number three is this screenshot of mac and charlie in macdp1

look at that. obviously the gender is off the rails in this whole scene but this image is just... i want to take the gender here and bottle it.

number two! coming in hot we've got mac's chemical toilet outfit

incredible. no notes. rcg you've commited plenty of crimes and good god is having him only look like this for one scene out of the whole show one of them.

and finally, in first place, we've got the disgusting men's bathroom at paddy's

wow. high likelihood of contacting a venereal disease if you breathe in too much of the air. heinous checkered floors you could drown in. i could write an essay about the trans-ness of the yuck puddle alone. perfection.

[moongumi]

Cause like I have a request of my own... what if the sister found out that Satoru slept with the sister? I love this 🤧🤧🤧🤧 sips tea ☕

tree tops (beach days part 2)

pairing: gojo satoru x reader

⟶ cw. camgirl! reader, age-gap, infidelity, cheating (gojo cheating on your sister with you), gojo is a warning, public sex, fingering, choking, mentions of virginity, manipulation, oral, deep-throat, cum play, cum eating, 18+ MINORS DO NOT READ

sypnosis: request, gojo approaches you about a video you posted online and then he couldn't keep his hands off you even though he belongs to your sister, and all this whilst you're all on a family vacation.

part sypnosis: after the eventful day you ignored his texts for a couple of days until you're forced to hang out with your sister and him, satoru can't stop playing with you even when his girlfriend is two feet away from you

⟶ wc. 5.5k (WTF IS WRONG WITH ME)

a/n: i got too invested, this is so fun to write i hope it's fun to read! please lmk what you think!!! reblogs and comments are EXTREMELY APPRECIATED, lets me know if you like it and want more or not! btw i hope the open ended endings arent annoying, i like leaving it like that : P could make another part who knows.

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST!! i love the username :)))

part 1 // part 2

The plush hotel pillows felt lush on your cheeks, pressing your face against the fabric more the break of a sunrise peeks through the sheer curtains in your room. You groan turning away from the bright light wanting to just sleep longer since you barely had any sleep for the last few days.

Gojo Satoru did not leave you alone, not with your Snapchat at his fingers. He had sent multiple photos of himself, his privates, and just plain texting you─no he was spamming you, only because you never gave him the attention he wanted. You knew he was annoyed, ever since that day somehow your parents and sister have been arguing so for the past few days she’d been sitting with Satoru at a different table during meals.

“Dear, would you ask your sister what’s wrong? She’s been ignoring us for days,” Your mother asks, reading the news or her phone or something, “This is a family holiday after all.”

You groan, dropping your book in your lap, “Mom, why don’t you? You guys are the ones that made her mad, I wasn’t even here! I only heard something about you not liking Satoru and well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before inviting him to a ‘family’ holiday!”

You were so over it, seemed like he’s everyone's problem these days. Your mother sighs, speaking to your father instead.

In the corner of your eyes, you see Satoru’s eyes stealing glances at you, his fingers tapping on the back of his phone noticeably, signaling. You roll your eyes, picking up your phone and looking at his text.

3.25 am

satoru: reply to me

satoru: are you sleeping??

satoru: sneak out and see me

satoru: helloooo im bored

9.45 am

satoru: do your parents still hate me?

satoru: i know you saw my text

satoru: i literally see you looking at my text

satoru: answer!!!

You sigh, dropping your phone in the pocket of your shorts. He had such a creative username, you rolled your eyes at it. “Do you guys have something planned?”

Your father nods, “We’ve got a spa day, you could join us? Or I think your sister’s off on some sort of tree course thing─”

“Ah yes, I think you’d enjoy that,” Your mom adds, “Treetop challenge and ziplines I think, that’s what was on the ad.”

You didn’t really want to be in his presence but it was either that or joining your parents in spa─which meant they’d be kinda naked around you and vice versa. You smile, totally okay with the choices you were forced to choose from. Last night your mother had also mentioned how you weren’t making the most of this vacation, just sitting around as you could back home. You didn’t want to argue with her right after her fight with your sister so you just had to pretend you’d try, and now you had to execute the lie.

“Okay, I’ll go with them.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“Let’s go pretty girl.” Satoru slaps the back of your helmet and almost yeets you off the side of the platform.

You gasp, grabbing your head whilst your legs shake, “What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

He smiles, picture-perfect and all. He seemed too overjoyed that you joined them when he should be smiling with your sister but wait─where is she? You look around only noticing her a few courses back.

“Hurry up!” You shout, waving at her.

Your sister had her new dress on, big mistake, struggling with literally everything, especially the little pieces of wood she had to walk on to make her way closer to catch up to you two. “I’m trying! Why did you make me do this, ‘Toru!”

You chuckle, seeing her struggle was lowkey satisfying. Satoru shrugs at her, “Babe, you told me to pick whatever I want. Come on, or else we’ll leave you behind.” He looks back at you, his eyes glimmering with something different. You had a disgusted look on your face.

You always seemed to have that disgusted look on your face when he’s around he’s noticed. He couldn’t tell if you actually thought he stunk or just disliked him, but hell, he knew you didn’t dislike him to not fuck him. What he did like were the same shorts you wore, maybe you only brought one pair, he could see the straps of your bikini top through your tank top. He bites his lips thinking of all the things he could do to you right now if your sister wasn’t so nearby, but she wasn’t near enough for him to not grab your ass.

“The fuck!” You shriek, slapping his hand away, “She’s literally right there you freak.”

Gojo smirks, not letting you go, he slips his warm and sweaty fingers prod under the hem of them feeling those bare cheeks of yours that peaked out of your shorts, “Is that the only thing you find wrong about this, that she’s right there? Not because I’m trying to finger your ass right now?”

“Shut up,” You huff, moving away from him trying to ignore the weird feelings below your hips. You attach your safety hook on the next zipline, “Just wait for her, okay? Fuckface.”

“You cuss way too much for your age.” You hear him say while you zip away, you turned around in the seated position shooting him a middle finger as his arrogant smile begins to fade from the distance.

When you got off, your phone buzzed. You checked, in case it was your parents to see your sister messaging you.

(sister’s name): i hate satoru

(sister’s name): what is this stupid ass place he brought us

(sister’s name): ive got moss all over my legs!

You: just wipe it off

(sister’s name): it stinks here

You: stop breathing then

Before you put your phone away another text immediately pops up on your screen and your finger accidentally open it, Snapchat.

satoru: the more you run the more i wanna stick my dick in your ass

satoru: did i make you wet?

You grunt.

You: your existence makes my pussy dry asf

satoru: wow

satoru: rude asf

satoru: btw your sister keeps complaining

satoru: can i push her off the next ledge i see

You laugh, he’d be doing you both a favour.

You: fucking do it, i dare you

satoru: i’ll fucking do you in a second

You: someones a pussy.

satoru: i aint going to jail

satoru: you know what they’d do to a guy like me in jail

You: you’d drop that soap so fast

You: you seem like the type to become someones bitch for a packet of ramen

satoru: wow

satoru: im literally gonna fold you when i see you

satoru: little bitch

Instead of allowing yourself to get distracted by him anymore, you get on with the course, completely ignoring anyone anything around you. Luckily you had your extra pair of earphones and pop them in before shutting out the world.

Satoru groans, his eyes fluttering with despair. He clicks his tongue watching your body swoop a few courses ahead, without a burden like your sister holding him back he’d be able to catch up in no time but hell, he can’t just ditch his girlfriend right now. Definitely not when she was holding his hand and making him guide her through every little thing.

During the wobbly bridge, he purposely jumps behind her making it shake and buckle under their weight. He laughs as your sister cries out, jumping back into his arms, “Babe! Stop it, I’m scared.”

If he could roll his eyes without her seeing he would. It wasn’t like he disliked his own girlfriend, he did after all choose to date her from all the candidates on that dating app. Yet, his mind couldn’t stop flashing images of you into his brain. He imagined if it were you that showed up on his tinder would he have chosen you? But then again, his age range is nowhere near that low so he’d never actually come across your profile, wait did you even have a dating profile? He wonders what you’d put in your descriptions, what pictures you’d use, it made him annoyed thinking of all the rats that would flood your DMS.

“Go on first, Satoru,” Your sister offers, “I needa’ fix my sandals.”

He nods, telling her he’d wait for her after the long zipline. He was still confused why she decided to wear sandals and a dress even though he’d told her last night about the treetop course. He notices you on the zipline ahead of him, clearly enjoying yourself without anyone with you. Somehow he found it strange someone could enjoy being alone, but then again you were one of those book nerds who can go days without talking to anyone.

Satoru gets to the end of his zipline and looks back, squinting in hopes to see his girlfriend. Nothing. He sighs, leaning against the barrier, they were so high up in the trees at this point and probably near the end as well. He didn’t want it to end, because then you have no reason to hang out with him anymore.

He thought about it, wait for his girlfriend or chase after you. Well, clearly he chose the latter because here he was right behind you.

“Ah!” You shriek, fixing the straps that kept pinching the side of your buttcheeks, “Where’s my sister?”

“Uh,” Satoru smiles, shrugging, “No clue.”

Eh?

You sigh, still trying to fix your problem and make yourself more comfortable.

Satoru notices and asks, “What’s with you?”

“This straps digging into me.”

He nods, pushing away your hand. You eye him but his eyes were focused on the sides of your bottom. He notices the rolled-up and twisted strap, “Don’t flinch.”

His large hands grab your ass and turn you, facing you away from him. Somehow you find your cheeks getting warm, after all, your ass was facing him now. He gets down, his hands were wet from the course since it was a tropical treetop adventure. It felt cold, you had to resist flinching from it.

His hands are huge, you remembered them, they were also really soft and pretty.

You gulped feeling his fingers slip underneath the strap, wedged between your jean shorts and it. He wiggles and manages to untangle it with ease moving on to the other side. “Did you really ride that entire thing with a buckle between your cheeks?”

You shift, clicking your tongue, “No, it just moved when I was doing the plank jumping.”

His face felt really close to your body, you could feel his breath against the back of your thigh. You look back behind you, eyes widening when you realise he’s been looking at you waiting for you to turn around.

“What?” You huff.

He smiles, it wasn’t fair that he’s hot. “Nothing.” His pearly whites on display, you knew why your sister talked so much good about him with her girlfriends whenever they’d come over to stay.

“Just hurry, I wanna get going.”

Satoru shakes his head, “Come on, let’s take our time and enjoy ourselves.” Somehow that felt like it had more than one meaning but you move on.

His fingers prodding at your exposed buttcheeks against making you jump, “Hey!”

“Sorry, it’s just stuck in there, can you spread your legs or something?”

He’d love that, huh?

You did as he asked. Satoru was enjoying it, maybe a little too much. He liked the way your body melts under his touch even if you were trying to resist him. He pulls at the buckle and gets it away from your asscheeks. He bits his lip when his eyes catch the way your jeans are tucked and folded in between your ass, god, it was plump and right in his reach.

He proceeds to get back up, purposely running his hands up your body, resting against your left buttcheek. His fingers curled, molding into the crease of your ass. You gulped, feeling him squeeze.

What surprised you the most was his breathing, it somehow changed, erratic. He presses his large frame against you, pushing you forwards slightly. It felt like his hands were burning through your clothes, he breathes a quiet moan into your ear, “Fuck. You really think I haven’t noticed the way you keep pulling your shorts up?”

You gasp when his fingers slip under the hem of your shorts, threatening to slip into your bikini bottom, “I wasn’t doing it for you.”

“Yea?” Satoru hisses, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, “You were doing it for that boy that was following you? You want his number or something, I fucking swear to god if you get anyone's number I’m going to push them off this fucking tree.”

He practically just marked his territory, to you and only you but you were too stubborn to just let him do that so easily.

Somehow he manages to get you to the edge of the empty platform, it was near the end therefore there weren’t many people who started the challenge with your group here at the moment since you literally tried to speedrun it.

He pushed your body against it, making your hands hold onto the railing. He bends you so your ass was perked up perfectly for him. His eyes trailed only to the curve of your body and the way you tried to look anywhere but at him, finding the trees more interesting.

He holds your waist in both of his hands, slowly thrusts himself into the nook of your butt. You muffled a moan with a bite of your lip, he can’t have the luxury of getting that out of you in public. “Keep pretending you don’t enjoy this, we both know you’re soaking wet.”

“I told you, looking at you makes me as dry as─”

Satoru cuts you off, “Shut up, stop being a brat.”

His cock erect inside of his shorts easily brush against your warm-clothed cunt, it wasn’t like he could just take off these tight-ass shorts right now but hell, he wanted to. His body felt heavy even though he was only just pushing against you, his large hands holding your waist were the only thing you could focus on. Does the trim his nails every day or something they’re so neat.

He leans over your body, pressing his chest against your back, head resting against the crook of your neck, “You think she’d kill us if she saw us? What do you think she’d do, blame me or you? Break up with me or fuck your relationship up…to be honest, she’s so in love with me I bet she’d forgive me in a heartbeat but you? I don’t even know what she’d do with you.”

“Stop it then,” You grabbed his hands, trying to pry him off. You turned your head to meet his blue eyes, you only noticed now that he’s not been wearing his sunglasses, “We’re not doing this.”

“Why not,” He whines, smiling ear to ear, “I wanna.” Satoru thrusts into you again, whatever you tried didn’t work, his grip was too tight. His dick bulging through his pants fit so snugly in the gap between your legs, perfect fit.

His lips engulf your earlobe, he sucks on it practically moaning in your ear, “I’d do anything to rip your clothes off right now. Fuck, I miss how tight your pussy is.”

It was hard to resist but you didn’t even know where your sister was, she could literally be right behind you and she might actually push you off to your death if you were caught with the love of her life. You wiggled around, slipping out of his hold to only be able to turn around and face him, hands on his chest pushing him as far as your arms could. It wasn’t much, he was leaning in trying to catch your lips with his.

“We can’t.”

Satoru groans, throwing his head back, exposing his veiny throat to you. “You’re so difficult.”

He wouldn’t reveal this to you but his cock was throbbing in his pants right now, practically dripping with precum. He loved the way you talked, argued, and fought against him-you hated him and god, he wanted you. It wasn’t like you couldn’t feel his cock, he wanted you to but he didn’t want you to know the things you could do to him if only you would ask. You were too bratty to ever ask, only demand.

“Would you push me off if I fingered you?” His lips trailed down the side of your neck, his hair brushing against your face. His thick fingers tapping against your inner thigh, trying to pry them open, “Don’t you want to just, feel them? Feel my fingers inside of you?”

You swallowed, hard. Your legs wobbled, you had to reposition them and he noticed, smirking again. Satoru slides his finger up between your legs, past the barrier of the hem of your shorts. It is a tight fit but it made it all the more interesting, his fingers felt the soft fabric of your bikini bottom and he moves them aside.

He heard you choke on your breath, his eyes meeting the blushed expression on your face, shy and worried but you never stopped him.

It wasn’t like it was hard, there wasn’t much between him and his goal and well, his goal was soaking wet as he predicted. Your small whimpers, moans of pleasure, like a song in his ears. Finally.

It was slightly uncomfortable, just the position and the way your shorts restricted his wrist. His fingers could only go so deep, only two of them fit through and lapped up all your wetness, he doesn’t hesitate to plunge inside, feeling the way it suctions him in. “Dry as a desert, huh?”

He teases you again, he always does, whether it be with his words or his eyes. You arched your back, hoping he’d have room to go deeper. A hand gripping onto the one he’s using to fuck you, holding him in place.

“You can’t just─” You bellowed, a whimper leaving your lips, “Fuck, that feels really good.”

Satoru groans, nodding at your response. He curls his fingers, trying to reach for the depths. There wasn’t any more room for him to penetrate, it wasn’t like he could easily finger you either, all he could do was stay fully penetrated and feel for what he wanted to use, abuse and oh, there it is.

You bite your lip so hard it nearly bleeds, the hand on his wrist brightens the colour on his wrist-probably going to bruise it. You choked, “Sa-Satoru, fuck, that’s it.”

He smiles, his lips return to your neck, resisting the urge to bite down on it, “I told you, with age comes experience. That guy over there wouldn’t be able to find your soft spot so fast.”

You nod, you don’t really know why but you were too delirious. Maybe it was the thrill, knowing anyone could just walk over that platform bridge and bust you. Even below, a hundred meters below someone could just look up and see you soaking down your legs.

“Are you going to cum you fucking brat?” Satoru growls, sensing how you tighten around his fingers, he works harder trying to get you there, “Come on, be a good girl and cum.”

Damn it. Why did he have to sound like that, his voice was groveled, deep, and lewd.

You unraveled, simply and easily. The dangerous thrill, his voice, and just his being in front of you caused all this to be so fucking simple. You came so hard, your legs shake the platform-you wanted to scream out, loudly and just let him know but hell, you could imagine the look on people’s faces after realizing a girl just got finger-fucked on a tropical adventure park.

He pulls out, looking at his glistening fingers. He smiles, pleased with it. “Open.”

You do it, why not? He shoves his fingers into your mouth, passing your swollen lips from all the biting. He flattens it against your tongue erotically, rolling it, cleaning it. He couldn’t resist going a bit deeper, holding the back of your head with his other hand he tilts your head back.

“Shit, you don’t have a gag reflex?” He moans, “Fuck, that’s so hot.”

He feels the back of your throat easily with his long fingers, he could practically bust with a lustful expression on your face, eyes hazed from your orgasm and lips parted like a good girl for him.

He hears a piece of wood creak and pulls out quickly, accidentally nudging your tonsil, and you cough. “Ow, what the fuck.”

Then, his eyes widened he didn’t even need to turn around to know. “Yea, what the fuck indeed.”

Your sister stands across from the two of you. Oh god, your face heats up and your heart drops to your stomach. Satoru’s still got his left hand wrapped around your neck, your face flushed.

“Satoru, did you just─did you just try to touch my sister?” Your sister yells, running over and grabbing his other arm.

Satoru still in shock has to play it off or else they’d be done for, “Oh, uh─no. Babe, why would I do that?”

Your sister scoffs, finally getting him off of you, seeing the red mark on your neck. “I know you’re a man-whore but my fucking sister? My innocent little sister, Satoru!”

Oh, somehow you felt a sense of relief. She assumed he was about to do something.

“Are you okay?” She asks, seeing you hold your throat still trying to recover, “I can’t believe you choked her so hard she’s coughing!”

Well, sister, it wasn’t exactly that but you weren’t going to argue. “Baby, I promise I wasn’t trying to hit on your sister─”

“Yea, but you were clearly hurting her!”

Your eyes flicker towards Satoru, his eyes are large and unsteady. He grabs your sister by her waist, trying to soothe his way out of this, “I was just playing, baby.”

“Playing what? Choke your girlfriend’s sister to death, or were you trying to hold her down and kiss her? Huh, tell me.”

He rolls his neck, stressed, “I wouldn’t kill your sister.”

“Oh, so you wanted to kiss her?” Your sister crosses her arms, you wished you could disappear from this moment. So you try, moving over a little.

Your sister doesn’t let you though, “Stay still, I need to make sure he won’t hurt you again.”

You pucker your lips standing behind her as she tries to protect you.

Satoru's eyes flicker between his girlfriend and his girlfriend's sister, thinking which lie would suit this situation more, fuck it. “Yea, I was.”

“Oh my god! Are you drunk? I swear to god, I can’t ever leave you alone. Just because we look alike doesn’t mean you can just try to kiss her, okay?” Satoru wanted to disagree, you two didn’t look anything alike-it was like night and day. His girlfriend was this bright, confident, and extroverted sun and you were this mysterious, moody, and introverted moon but still, the way your eyes are looking at him-seductive, dirty, and arrogant. He found you so much hotter.

“I’m sorry baby.”

She huffs, taking his hand, “It’s fine, let’s just get going. My feet fucking hurt.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You couldn’t believe your sister was so chill about Satoru trying to kiss you. Maybe it was something he did often, did he cheat on her often or something? This finally hit you that you were an accomplice in Satoru cheating on your own sister.

If your pillow could suffocate you, you would do it.

You nearly jump out of your skin when your bedroom door opens. Facing the direction you knew it to be the familiar white-haired cunt.

“What do you want now?”

Satoru pouts, “Not happy to see me?”

He makes his way towards your dimly lit bed, the only light was from the television you had on playing something random as background music whilst you were scrolling on your phone. He doesn’t even say anything when he pulls back your blanket and jumps in.

You send him a weird look, “Erm, what’s this?” You move over from the center of the bed to the right more, away from his warm nearly naked body. It wasn’t until he was near that you noticed he was shirtless and only wore his boxers.

He leans back, putting his arm over his head, his biceps popping as he does. Satoru cocks his head your way, “Your sister kicked me out of bed.”

“I wonder why,” You say, pulling the sheets up to cover yourself, “She didn’t dump you?”

Satoru chuckles, “Nah, she loves me.”

His face is illuminated by the light from the tv, you’ve never been in such a position with him. The last time you were in a room with him alone, some things happened and well, there wasn’t much talking at all.

“She said anything about me?” You ask.

He shakes his head, “Nah, she loves you too I guess. She blames me, says I needa’ stop trying to kiss everyone thats pretty.”

“You do that often? Cheat, lie, manipulate, take advantage-”

“Aight, I get it,” He cuts you off, his blue eyes glistening, “I don’t cheat on your sister, like ever. You are the first okay? I just have a bad track record, before I met your sister─I was as your sister says─a man-whore.”

“But why are you in here?”

He smiles, “Because, she kicked me out and you’ve got a comfy bed.”

“Is that all?”

His eyes glimmer now, with excitement, “No, I wanted to see you.”

“Whore.”

He acts hurt, “Ouch, offended.” His smile brightens, he bits his pink-hued lips eyeing you.

“Honestly, you should just forget me and go back to her, I’m sure if you kiss her or something she’d take you right back in her arms,” You suggest, watching the video on your phone.

Satoru groans on your side, within a split second he throws your phone onto the bed and holds your jaw with his hand, “I don’t want her, do you need me to keep repeating this?”

“Well, you can’t have me so, fuck off.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing you down into the bed as his body rolls over the top of you caging you in underneath him. His predator-like stance over your prey-like frame. He puts his hand over your mouth, “Could you just shut up for once in your life.”

Your muffled voice sends back a response and he just smirks.

“I can’t hear you but I guess that’s a good thing. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, your fucking mouth I just keep imagining my dick inside of it. How do you not have a gag reflex, for a kid like you─”

“I─am not. I’m not a vi-virgin─you, you fuckface, I─wasn’t one when we first fucked either.” You choked out under his hand.

He chuckles, his voice vibrates through you, in a dark room with nothing but yourselves it somehow felt different, “Obviously, virgins don’t know how to ride cock the way you do, but then again I never made you cum around my dick so I don’t even know if you cum like a virgin.”

“Have you got some weird virgin kink, because that’s plain weird─” He’d let you talk for a second.

Then close his hand over your mouth again, “I fucking don’t, now just shut up again.”

“I just find it kinda fun, how you’ve barely had any experience yet, somehow I just have this gut feeling that you’re a freak. I wanna know how you take cock in your throat.”

With the look, you could’ve easily had him wrapped around your fingers, he hopes you’ll never find out. He sits on the bed hands laced between strands of your messy hair that he’d tug and pull at making you moan stuffed with his cock inside your mouth.

Satoru’s cock was shaped like it was made by gods, molded like the picture-perfect dick. It curves beautifully, no wonder it feels so good. Its size is beyond average, he’s impressed with how much of it you could take inside of your mouth. Before long, it hits the back of your throat, and when he’d think you couldn’t take anymore he feels it go deeper into the ridges of you, his nose hitting his crotch. Fuck, when was the last time a girl had his entire cock inside their mouth.

His head thrown back, he couldn't even playoff how good he felt. He could tell it was stroking your ego, you knew how to suck dick.

You moaned purposefully, the vibrations caused his dick to twitch. He hisses, breathing through the waves in his stomach. His eyes were barely open, he wanted to see it.

He wants to see your watery eyes, choking on his cock. Fuck, so the no-gag reflex was an actual thing, he’d do this all day if he could.

You drag your tongue around the underside of his cock when you pulled back, rolling your tongue around his velvet tip, swirling before prodding at the leaking cum. “Hhm, you taste good…for a prick.”

He laughs darkly, voice deep from all the grunting he was doing, “You lied right? You’ve gotta have been with more than five guys.”

You licked your palm, eyes connected to him the entire time and you saw him gulp. Using the palm to pleasure his veiny rod. You shake your head, smiling, “Nah, I didn’t lie. I’m just talented. You forget that I’m a camgirl.”

“Fuck, uh-fuck, yea you-you are so fucking ta-talented. Dirty fucking, camgirl.” He could barely hold back when you took his tip back in your mouth, as you fisted his cock, the double stimulation making him thrust into your mouth, “Let me, fuck, let me cum in your throat pretty girl.”

“Beg,” You pulled out, smacking your lips, wiping away the drool, “Beg me and I’ll let you. I’ll even swallow.”

His eyes lit up and his lips stretch ear to ear. “Fuck─yeah, please, let me cum in your throat. Please, (y/n), I’ll do anything.”

You hum, pleased with his obedience, for a guy like him you thought it was so fun to be like this. Honestly, most men in this position would do anything to bust in your mouth.

“Do you beg my sister?”

Satoru perks, “Huh?”

“Do you beg her, for her to let you cum?”

Satoru shakes his head, “Fuck no, only you.”

You liked that answer.

Taking him back in your mouth, he nearly screams. The euphoria he feels, he doesn’t even regret begging, god, he never fucking begs.

His dick was so hard it could explode, you could tell he was near his end. It throbs in your mouth and you take it completely in, resting it in as deep as it could go. You dragged your mouth in and out, sucking on it and rolling your tongue as you could.

Satoru can’t hold it anymore, he bites his lip, moaning your name. He grips your hair hard, making you meet his eyes. “Fuck─shit, I’m gonna cum─”

During this, the entirety of it he was loud like extremely loud to the point that when your sister came looking for her boyfriend walked around everywhere she could think he would be, and ended up at your bedroom door. She doubts that he’d be in there but only with one step past it, the noises coming from the door made her freeze.

He was moaning her sister’s name, her little sister’s name. She drops down next to the door, listening to all the sweet shit he says to you. How he’s obedient, talkative, and listens to you. He’d never been like that with her, he’d always been a fuck and go kinda guy so what’s changed.

She was angry but she wasn’t going to walk in, and curse her eyes with the sight of him fucking you or whatever what happening in there.

Satoru’s fucked out eyes beamed at you, his gentle hand paws at your cheeks. He tells you to open your mouth, you opened them. His fingers spread your lips as he looks down your throat. The overload of his cum fills it to the brim, he feels his stomach flip. The sight that, oof.

“Swallow, all of it,” He urges, you close your lips and swallow as he says. Satoru leans towards your swollen and overused lips, attaching his to it. He sucks and pulls on it, sloppy, he was drunk on the taste. “You’re such a good fucking girl.”

He stayed in your bed, even spooning you. If only he knew, that your phone was blowing up from a certain guy who did give you his number on the course.

Megumi: i’ll take you up on that

You tap the screen of your phone, thinking of a response.

You: you're still awake?

Megumi: can’t stop thinking about you

Seems like all the guys around you think the same.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

© moongumi 2022. all rights reserved, do not copy and publish my writing anywhere else.

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[vaguely-yandere]

me 🤝 poised darling

chami love fanclub (IM THE PRESIDENT BTW.)

also these asks got horny real quick lol (not that i have a problem w it!) but lmk if you want me to talk about anything else :D

i just got back from hanging out with my friends!! we did an escape room, i think it would be funny to be trapped in a room w a yan who’s forced to work with you to escape; you’re trying to figure out how the hell to get out of there while they’re hyperventilating having to be in the same space w you for a whole hour HEHE

(what did you do today :D)

- sunny!! <3333

my favorite fan club!!! <3333 although some of my fav yanderes would fight for the spot of president lol. and i dont mind horny asks! i think its fun, esp since i usually dont write smutty things!

i think childhood best friend yandere would go great in the scenario. they arent as sensitive and reclusive as sensitive yandere, not as clingy as ceo yandere, and not as uncooperative as big bad yandere or rival yandere!

i can already see them purposely ignoring clues, hiding things from you, pointing you in the wrong direction... this situation feels a lot like when they kill people who get too close to you! (or a detective darling...?) and they just find it so so cute seeing you struggle to figure it out, try to find something they hidden, get confused when stuff doesnt add up and meanwhile, theyre having the time of their life getting an entire hour with you uninterrupted. usually, someone tries to call you away or you have to text someone on your phone or do homework or you wanna watch a movie but now... its just you and them and you have to engage with them! no excuses! theyre in heaven!

rival yandere would be a good choice at first, all that time they spend trying to be better than you actually comes in handy! theyre a mastermind!.... when you arent around. when youre near them, their IQ drops rapidly and they spend the entire time arguing with themself and you, refusing to see the fact that you're right! but if you act all innocent and confused, you bet theyll bust you out in record time and basically combust when you kiss their cheek and praise them for being oh so smart!

ceo yandere would just pay the worker to leave you two undisturbed for a few hours and just follows you around, praising you for everything, trying to help, etc etc and you end up escaping at the end of the day when you started at the start of the day. something about being around them just slows everything down! and sensitive yandere wouldnt be able to do it. an hour with you in an enclosed space? talking? nope! no! they cant!

girly yandere would have the time of their life though! as long as you two are alone, that is. if theres an actor or friends in the room, you know theyll stick right by you side and doubt everything that comes out of others mouths. and when you figure it out all by yourself, they take you out for frozen yogurt as a treat! so sweet!

[honey-milk-depresso]

Can i request diasomnia characters headcanons babysits darling's younger sibling and reactions towards sebek and them have an agruement.

Dont agrue with me.

But youre wrong.

Dont agrue with me!

But youre wrong!

Thats why youre the slowest in the class!

Thats why my sister dont wanna date you!

... Im about to end your whole career, yk santa claus isnt real, right?

...what? What?!

Why would you say that?!

Because he/she had it coming-

Sis, SIS!

NO DONT CALL YOUR SISTER NOW-

Darling is already back at sebek with a baseball ready to beat the fuck out of him. (fem reader btw)

This one was funny for me :')))

TWST s/o's sassy younger sibling (that fights with Sebek-)

Malleus Draconia

Delighted to know your younger sibling feels comfortable around him, albeit during earlier introductions were they a little nervous.

But that's being put aside as the Prince of the Valley of Thorns impresses your sibling with his magic, eating ice cream together (or just hanging out with them at some sort of eatery-), and so on!

Malleus is just as amazed by your younger sibling as they are amazed by him, showing him some interesting human culture and internet culture everyone's into nowadays like "memes" and "edits".

Malleus adores them as much as he adores you, and he's glad his peers like them as well as how they could get along with you!

But um... Sebek... not so much-

Every day with Sebek and Silver, he sees them hiding behind Silver while sticking out their tongue at him, as Sebek gets offended and argue with them over... something, he doesn't know either.

Could you perhaps help these two? He's not quite sure how to help- <3

Lilia Vanrouge

An expert in taking care of children, your sibling easily got along with him the fastest,

and Lilia knows as well of how to make children warm up to his own peers, so much was fine (MUCH-).

Lilia loves letting them wear his long, oversized coat, just like how you would do that too!

Oh, aren't you two just adorable?~

Lilia also likes letting them levitate around, playing with the instruments he play in his light music club, meeting his friends over there, and just having a blast with him!

They just don't like his cooking is all-

Bonus if you and your sibling can cook and you help Lilia to the best of your abilities to cook together.

How fun!

Although, he's very amused by every time your younger sibling fights with Sebek, followed by Silver who looks so done-

He'll sit back and watch, maybe intervening just so you wouldn't be so worried. No need to worry now, they'll get along soon~ <3

Silver

Aww-

He likes them too.

He's very chill, and he also likes to show off his swordsman skills to them too.

Silver lets them warm up to animals that surround him all the time, and he laughed along with them when a little bird took interest in your younger sibling, giving him some deja vu when you also experienced a little bird taking interest in you and he pecked your cheek afterwards HGDHH-

Silver would protect you two with everything he has!

...Just-

Could you help him with your sibling and Sebek? I don't think these two are very friendly-

And he's especially done with being a literal wall to both your sibling and Sebek when they argue and chase each other around-

He still loves you both of course <3

Sebek Vigvolt

*inhales*

He loves you- yes he does-

but-

oh mY GOD YOUR SIBLING IS JUST DHDJDGJHDHD-

STOP PESTERING MEEE DHGDHHDDG

Your sibling just LOVES to roast him-

"I don't understand why big s/o likes you, you stinky crocodile man!"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

Triggered my dudes-

Eventually, you told him to just relax, and just be lighthearted with your sibling like how he is with you (somewhat- most of the time-)

Well, he may not like your sibling now, and doesn't know how Malleus, Lilia and FRICKIN SILVER could get along with them but-

he'll try for your sake. <3

[nyazai-osameow]

btw the take of “Dazai is very remorseful of those he’s killed and his history in the PM (which is why he’s a good person, actually)” is a take that literally spits in his, as well as the whole of BSD’s, face. in this essay i will

its a bad idea to try to make this post right now because MAN disorganized thinking and speech is kicking my ass currently. so heres your warning. but i must speak. the truth deserves to be spoken

first i want to make it clear that the take itself is not inherently wrong or ““problematic”“ (please bear with me accurate and precise words are not in my vocab rn). because i mean... who fucking knows with Dazai and his feelings. he COULD be remorseful of all that. or he could not. i mean more evidence points to the lack of remorse than feeling remorseful, but this post is not about that.

what then makes this take so Bad is when its argued for the SOLE purpose of trying to defend him and convince people that he’s a good person actually and deserves to be where he is.

whether or not Dazai feels remorse for everything he’s done literally doesn’t matter. and trying to put so much importance on this also flies over the point of so much of BSD and its characters. its not a prominent point brought up ever BECAUSE it does not matter. its not supposed to matter. and the watcher/reader must recognize that this is deliberate to help you come to the point that is trying to be made with so many characters.

the message that is trying to be broadcasted is: "it's not about who you are, but about what you choose to do". its about your actions in the present moment. what you are choosing to do NOW is what matters.

and hes choosing to work for the good side and help people. “but that’s only because Oda told him to--” NOPE DOESN’T MATTER! the reasoning does not matter. the motivations for the actions are not supposed to matter. its the actions themselves.

Oda himself’s whole deal was this. the one person that Dazai at that time saw as unarguably a good person. he was choosing not to ever murder people again. not because he felt bad or any remorse for having taken those lives, but because he literally just wanted to become an author. that’s it. that was his sole reasoning. that seems like an absurd motivation to anyone not him, and that’s what makes him such a good character and good guy. he was not trying to atone for his past. he just wanted to be able to write a book.

did this reasoning make Oda’s choice of refraining from killing any less sincere? no, it didn’t! it was still 100% authentic and everyone could see that.

the first major arc of BSD as a whole was about this message. Kyouka, who had been working as an assassin for the PM and had so far killed 35 people, decided “hey, i don’t want to kill anyone anymore actually”, and with the help of Atsushi made the decision that she’d help people from then on and would try not to resort to violence and hurt people again.

then again in season 2 after Dazai encouraged her to not let her past define her, she made the decision to use the last bit of freedom she thought she would ever have to save Yokohama from being destroyed by the Moby Dick.

the antagonists in BSD are the antagonists because they are continually choosing to cause harm in the present moment. even if they were good or neutral in the past. they are doing harm NOW which makes them a problem.

STORMBRINGER SPOILERS

in Stormbringer Chuuya makes the choice to give up what he and everyone else thought was his last hope of finding out for sure whether or not he’s truly human, because it doesn’t really matter as long as he’s continuing to live as himself. he’s Chuuya because he can strap Dazai to a lamppost and spin him until he gets sick. he’s Chuuya because he gets to have tea with Kouyou. he’s Chuuya because he visits The Flags’ graves every so often.

STORMBRINGER SPOILERS END

ok im tired but i think you get the point.

change da world my final message. Goodb ye

[sscoutregimentss]

I was gonna make a request based on your Eren x Gamer Reader post but then I saw you take poly requests... Erejean x Gamer Reader? (She/her pronouns btw ^_^)

sure thing anon! your brain is huge. i started a one shot which is now sitting in my drafts bc i literally dont know how to finish it. maybe i'll post it later but for now here you go headcanons woohoo

eren and jeans dynamic makes it look like its impossible for them to share a girlfriend but it actually? works surprisingly well?

arguing is kinda their love language in a very strange weird way. if theyre not fighting somethings wrong but their like constant bickering actually is rlly important to you three's relationship lmfaooo a lot of communicating is just eren and jean fighting and then you pick up on something they say and you three talk it out. plus its gets all their energy out at the end of the day... like when puppies run around in circles bc they didnt go on long enough walks

jean is the planner of the couple, always making sure you guys get tickets to see this that and whatever, always figures out how ur gonna get places and when everyone will be picked up, makes sure everyones schedules are free and that theres no big game release that you'll miss and eren doesnt have work and jean isnt volunteering

in terms of nerdiness jean is a decent middle ground between you (who says "ummm actually..." unironically) and eren (who thought dungeons and dragons was a kinky thing) because he lives with connie so he gets roped into playing stuff like rainbow six seige and watching battlestar galactica into late hours of the night. also he's an only child who was prone to boredom as a kid so he played video games like any other only child. that being said he has a more extroverted personality and aptitude for sports so he just never got as absorbed in it as you did

this kind of makes eren jealous tbh because he thinks jean has more to relate with you then him. but jealousy is like a natural feeling and despite his feigned reluctance jean is happy to share his knowledge with him.

plus eren realizes that what he lacks in video game and movie knowledge he makes up in anime bc jean is clueless on that front. once you went on this huge rant about how sailor moon would decimate goku in a fight and jean just goes "gokus the pirate with the fox spirit, right? hes trying to become number one pro hero right?"

speaking of eren eren and jean are on the same volleyball team (i hc they play volleyball bc theyre tall but i think theyd be cute on any sports team because im weak hearted) and you become their fave cheerleader <3 they look for you in the stands before each game and have their own little ritual for good luck. when he spots you jean jumps really high (despite the team captain, levi screams at him to save it for when the game starts) and makes a heart with his arms and blows you a kiss when he gets in the air and its so embarrassing so eren just dogpiles the embarassment but giving you an over exaggerated wink its the worst theyre gross

jean gets you into connie's discord server after you complain that people are really rude to you in online games and eren is quick to demand an invite too even though he literally plays nothing and has no idea how discord works. he will log in and ping you to show you a meme and even though connie's server is really chill with rules (like 10 ppl max, just some friends hanging out) he has always wanted to say "no memes in general" so he does it every time. you have to show eren how to use private messages once connie jokes abt eren being his discord kitten.

cuddle pile while watching movies... jean is a film buff so you three have movie nights rlly often. its usually you sandwiched in between them with jean behind you and eren in front of you so you can play with his hair. jean's movie taste is actually really broad and you and eren both find a ton of new favorites through him.

they both really like listening to you ramble. you can explain soooo much lore abt your fave series and theyre both really invested. eren is more invested in the characters while jean is more focused on what happens next, but theyre both listening rlly well and making sure you know they care. they kinda care in different ways though? while eren is just passionate and because he's so passionate he must know about all things you like, jean is either interested or just likes hearing your voice. of the two jean is more likely to give you short answers and he'll be more dozed off so he's good to go to when you just want to rant. eren is going to ask you more questions and get wayyy more confused so he's good to go to when you want to explain or flesh out your points.

jean finds eren's jealousy of fictional characters sooooo ridiculous. whenever eren is pouting about some new video game guy youre in love with jean is rolling his eyes because of course its eren jaeger he's just looking for things to get angry at. "what are they gonna do idiot, come out of the tv?" but then one day there's a character that looks a lot like eren and suddenly he understands everything. but he realizes you have a thing for guys with long hair. he'll keep the mullet around for a while

they both really like having you sat in their laps and (unbeknownst to you) in order to avoid conflict they created a system. cozy game? eren. reading? jean. watching anime? eren. watching something live action? jean. playing a game on your phone? eren. watching an analysis video for your favorite franchise? jean. just messing around on your computer? rock paper scissors, best of three. eren likes to hug you tight and rest his head on your shoulder while talking to you. when it gets quiet he'll nuzzle his face in your neck and give you small kisses there. while jean likes to put his hands under your shirt and rest it on your stomach while you two chat. he's puts his head on your head or throws it back depending on your height and kinda just likes letting his hands wander, like rubbing up and down your arms or tickling you lightly.

you: i hate this stupid game

eren: yeah babe that game fucking sucks (has never played it in his life)

jean: then stop playing it?

you and eren, at the same time: what? no.

all in all they are good boyfriends 10/10 would recommend.

[literaphobe]

i love your opinions go on

i think in mcc red rabbits battle box all of them were right about some stuff and wrong about some stuff (ultimately it doesn’t matter and isn’t like any major flaw on any of their parts bc it was a live event they played in front of hundreds of thousands and they r all best friends) but the one who was the most correct was george and the least correct was bbh and this was mostly because of the leaf staircase he made and defended making in round 8 of battle box

not because it was necessarily wrong to make a leaf staircase but upon review it was so unnecessary especially because they were getting wooled every round so time was very much of the essence and even if someone had gotten knocked off it would’ve been faster for them to partially leaf block back up the four block high platform with ladders at the sides (it could be hard to understand if u don’t see it visually) and the likelihood of dream sapnap and george three of the best pvpers in the event needing a well constructed staircase to get back up faster than they would’ve on their own was low like it might have been a good idea on another team that was at less risk of getting wooled with players less capable of maneuvering around but not… dream team

also ifl watching this vod bbh is like. its hard to tell bc he’s always so like. Not cursing. so its harder to argue with him than it would be with someone whos saying GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! but rather he’ll be like fine i was partially wrong! but you see if you understand why i wanted to do that i was right. And you were wrong. And even if he was like fine i was wrong! He’d go back and talk about how he was feeling in the moment and how bc of that he wasn’t wrong for wanting to do what he did. but in a way where he doesn’t say suck my dick so its just so hard to fight against that and dream and punz were literally telling him why something he did was just a bad strategy (aka the leaf staircase) over and over again and it took him so long to relent and be like fine it was a bad strategy! staircase for life 😊 LIKE ?!,!.!;!/&:/!:?3

i also realized (BTW NONE OF THIS IS /NEG ITS JUST FUNNY) bad’s whole thing during that battle box was like as he said like whenever he did something and he failed and died he’d immediately think that the team’s entire strategy wasn’t working and that they should change the whole thing and so that was why he kept saying ‘we need a more decisive strategy’ however he would just like usually wind up doing no damage/start trying to take more action/combat the enemy once all his teammates were dead and it was honestly like. the whole thing was an amalgamation of a bad map for flanking, miscommunication, them getting wooled almost every round, and like i won’t lie bad should not have been taking the punch 2 bow for as many rounds as he did bc he was missing so many shots and barely doing damage and he should’ve told george to take it but george was taking THE FUCKING EXTRA LEAVES bc george is rarely assertive when it comes to battle box kits and just takes what people tell him to take/what people don’t want

honestly im so glad that in mcc22 when dream offered george the stone sword after a couple rounds george acknowledged and asserted that he liked the crossbow more so dream continued taking the stone sword like yasssss growth im so proud of all of them