#and Commoner Ice Cream Salesman

[kira-kui-n]

thank u mama

[spamtonloversanonymous]

🧃🪐: Hello, May I request a Spamton x reader where the reader dated him since he was a Addison (little theory, ya know?) But broke up when he became a [[bigshot]] BUT HAPPY ENDING! They get back together when Reader offers him a place because he lives in a dump :)

ok this got very long for this blog’s standards but it was a lot of fun to write! i only stopped it when i did to keep it somewhat short, i could probably write a part 2 of this if there’s interest. here u go:

you’re just cutting through an alley to dodge the crowd, and of all the people you were expecting to meet today -

“spamton?”

you recognize him immediately; how could you not? he’s changed a lot, but it’s undeniable: the short stature you had always found so charming, the dirtied messy hair (with sad vague suggestions of attempting to slick back or style) that he’d dyed black sometime around everything happening, those weird-ass glasses you recall from ad posters that had depicted a stranger you’d used to be so familiar with. you used to know spamton so well, and then it felt like you didn’t know him at all, and then it felt like nobody ever knew him — and here he is before you, the opposite of everything he was becoming when you broke off. digging through a trash can like a raccoon and muttering to himself about kromer and phone calls.

of course, not a moment after you say his name, his head snaps up and he ejects himself from the bin, as if you might not notice he was ever in there if he distances himself quick enough. his face is panic-stricken — is that just the face of a former success story humiliated to be seen at such a low point, or the face of someone startled to see his past lover? does he even recognize you?

“spamton,” you repeat, approaching him.

after a short pause, probably registering your presence, spamton takes only an instant to shake the deer in headlights look in favor of an overzealous salesman persona that would be painfully familiar to you if he wasn’t playing it so… oddly. it’s adjacent to the “big shot” that had been too “big” for little old you, but so, so off. it’s kind of unnerving, kind of sad; he’s not unlike a broken child’s toy.

“WELL WELL [Well]!!!” he booms in a voice you can almost recognize as spamton as you knew him. “WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE ?? IS THI5 THE [[Humble Small-Town Beginnings]] OF THE [[Watch This Heartwarming Reunion]] OF THE CENTURY?!?”

well, someone’s picked up some bizarre speech quirks since you last saw him. it takes you a second to process and make sense of what he just said.

“what?” you say. “spam..ton,” you hesitate in the middle of his name, the second syllable an addendum to save you from calling him by the nickname that came back so naturally, “you…” you have a million questions. “…are you okay?”

the facade he’s just thrown on is already cracking. the stretched-too-wide smile is fading from his eyes, his bold posture is receding back into slumping. his voice still has power behind it, but it’s more urgency than it is confidence: “iT S BEEN [[A real long time]] SINCE Y0U AND I L4ST [Click Here To Chat] !! YOU GOTTA GIVE ME THE [[LArge Ice-Cream Scoop]] ON HOW LIFES BEEN TRE ATING YOU”

he’s avoiding the question. even before… everything, spamton’s always been a little too prideful to admit the embarrassing, so you take that as not meaning well.

you want to be mad at him — he’s finally before you after all this time, after he just kind of disappeared from everything as almost soon as he made it big, but you can’t find it in you. he’s clearly not in a good place in any sense of the word, and you’ve always privately wished for a chance to reconnect with him.

“wanna catch up at my place?” you offer all too casually, despite every shred of common sense in your brain urging you to do, uh, not that.

he looks like you just told him he won the lottery. “IF YOUD BE!! WILLING TO LET ME IN2 YOUR [[Quality Living Space]] I WOULD LOV E TO”

“…and it wouldn’t have to just be for an evening or anything,” you add. “spamton, do you — do you have anywhere to stay?”

the deer-in-headlights expression flickers across his face for a moment, but he gestures to the dumpster in the alley with all the gusto of a used car salesman, telling you, “I HAVE A TOP OF THE LINE [[No Place Like Home]]”

“…spamton, that’s not…” you don’t want to kick his pride while its down; you choose not to finish your sentence. instead, you simply say: “i have a guest bedroom.”

“………REALLY?”

“do you want to.. stay with me?”

“CAN YOU PROMISE [[Not Clickbait]]”

“i’m being serious. promise.”

there’s a pause, and then:

“I COULD CERTAINLY [[Consent to the terms & conditions of]] !!!!! ….IF YOU. WOULD HAVE ME. OF COURSE.”

“spammy,” the name just slips out, “i wouldn’t have offered otherwise. now come on.”

[travelwiide]

7 things that astounded me when living in Vienna, Austria

7 things that astounded me when living in Vienna, Austria 

What astounded me the most when I moved to Vienna, Austria? I've needed to expound on it for quite a while. I went through a year in Vienna and this experience showed me a great deal and in some sense changed my perspective. I concede I didn't encounter any social stun because Austria and Poland share a considerable amount for all intents and purposes. In any case, there are a couple of things that astounded me when living in Vienna, Austria. Here are some of them.

1. Snow-capped spring water in a tap. 

One of the principal things that astounded me in the wake of moving to Vienna was the way that there was an extremely little choice of packaged despite everything water in the close-by grocery stores. Following a couple of days, I discovered that it is because everybody is drinking faucet water here. Maybe for some of you, there will be nothing peculiar in it, however in where I originate from, it isn't so self-evident. Drinking faucet water without bubbling it or sifting it? No chance! altered my perspective when I was clarified that Viennese water originates from Elevated mountain sources (look at: Where the Alps start and Climbing in the Viennese Alps). Springwater is provided to Vienna by a 120 km reservoir conduit, which, as I heard, was worked for the Sovereign and his court, yet later it was chosen to make this gem understood water accessible to others. What's intriguing, the watercourses through the hydroelectric force plant, delivering 65 million kilowatt-long stretches of vitality, which is sufficient to cover the power request of the whole city of Vienna! Smart, right? I need to concede that Viennese water tastes great. Also, there is nothing more invigorating than having a glass of cold water on a sweltering summer's day. You don't need to place it in the ice chest, toss ice 3D squares, etc. You simply turn on the tap and drink. Furthermore, there are sources in the city where you can empty drinking water into your jug. It's something I miss when I don't live in Vienna any longer.

2. How the Danube stream looks these days. 

Let me come clean with you. Before I moved to Vienna, I had never been there. I knew this city just from photographs and I had some thought about what the city would resemble. I'm certain the majority of you know the well known three-step dance "The Blue Danube" formed by Johann Strauss II. Each time I heard this song, I envisioned a blue, wide stream that streams stately by delegate structures and noteworthy dwellings. I don't have the foggiest idea, possibly I believed that the Danube in Vienna looks somewhat like in Budapest. What's more, truly, what I saw shocked me a piece. Nonetheless, I imagine that Johann Strauss II himself would likewise be stunned on the off chance that he perceived how the Danube looks today. Over the previous century, the Danube has been controlled and is currently totally not at all like the stream it used to be. It is somewhat further from the notable focus of the city and separated by a portion of land into two troughs: the Danube (Dunau) and New Danube (Neue Donau). The water that streams close to the old town is the Danube Trench (Donaukanal), the arm of the Danube. Likewise, there is additionally the Old Danube (Alte Donau). No big surprise a few voyagers are somewhat befuddled. The Danube Waterway, which streams close to the old town, additionally looks very explicit. The dividers are painted with spray paint, there are gardens where individuals develop vegetables, flower child bars and some road fine arts. Try not to misunderstand me, I like the vibes of this spot and when I lived in Vienna I frequently strolled there, however it's simply not what I envisioned, so it totally amazed me.

3. The island in the city. 

'I will be on the island this evening. Will we meet someplace at Depressed City or Copa Cagrana? I heard that they have great beverages in Sansibar. What do you think?' Did you comprehend anything about this? Provided that I hadn't lived in Vienna for some time, I wouldn't understand what it was about However, let me disclose everything to you. Indeed, in the focal point of Vienna is an island with seashore bars, grill territories, bike and roller ways, and even nudist seashores. Danube Island (Donauinsel) is now and then called 'Spaghetti Island'. This is a direct result of its shape: it is limited and more than 20 km long! It was made because of the waterway guideline and partitions the Danube into two troughs: the Danube (Donau) and New Danube (Neue Donau). You can likewise find out about it in my blog entries: Fascinating realities about Vienna and 5 elective activities in Vienna. The island, which was worked to shield Vienna from floods, has become a most loved recreational region in the city and a gathering place for local people. Depressed City and Copa Cagrana are particularly well known in summer nighttimes. It is the waterfront with various bars and cafés associated by the Ponte Cagrana barge connect. Some bar names are very entertaining, as Sansibar. If you have additional time, make certain to visit this clamoring and laid-back spot in Vienna.

4. Spittelau and some other peculiar looking structures. 

One day when riding the U6 metro I saw the brilliant arch of Spittelau over the structures. I thought it was a castle or a sanctuary. I could never have thought it was only a city squander incinerator! Even such common things can astonish you in Vienna. As I found a workable pace city to an ever-increasing extent, I began to stray from the generally accepted way to go. At that point, I found other bizarre-looking structures like Hundertwasserhaus, KunstHausWien, Willa Wagner II, Vienna Harmony Pagoda and that's only the tip of the iceberg. You can find out about it in the blog entry: Top 10 most odd structures in Vienna.

5. Proficient titles all over. 

Dipl. Ing., Mag., MSc, Mama, Dr. and the various expert titles. There is a great deal of them and now and again it is hard to make sense of it. Likewise, in Austria, they are composed all over the place. So on the off chance that you are a guaranteed engineer (Dipl. Ing.), you will have this title composed in reports like a graduation endorsement as well as on such inconsequential things as a metro ticket or even your IKEA card. Same with the ace, specialist, and the rest. Additionally, proficient titles are likewise composed by the names on the radio board, at the passageway to the apartment. Consider the possibility that somebody lives in a disconnected house. At that point frequently a sign is joined going back and forth or veneer of the structure saying that an educator, specialist, ace or confirmed architect lives here. On the off chance that in my nation somebody, aside from perhaps a clinical specialist who has a private center at home, would do something like this, individuals would discover it, in any event, bizarre and neurotic. Be that as it may, in Austria, this is flawlessly typical and nobody is astounded.

6. Contrasts between standard German and Austrian German. 

The contrast between standard German and Austrian German is a broad theme. Furthermore, there is likewise the Viennese vernacular. So on the off chance that you just considered Hochdeutsch, you might be a little astonished how individuals talk in Vienna and not see a portion of the words. I never considered German at school and when it worked out that I would have the chance to go through a year in Vienna, I started to concentrate all alone. I purchased books, introduced a few versatile applications, and attempted to discover some new information consistently. All things considered, my language abilities were immediately checked the following morning after moving to Vienna. I went to the market to purchase something for breakfast and heard Grüß Gott rather than Guten Morgen. At the point when I needed to purchase rolls and requested Brötchen, the salesman said they had Semmeln in Austria. I additionally recall that when I needed to purchase cream, I was unable to discover Sahne anyplace. Later I discovered that there is Sauerrahm (harsh cream) or Schlagobers (sweet cream). There are numerous instances of contrasts between standard German and Austrian German. At the point when I understood that what I realize all alone now and then isn't valuable in Austria, I tried out a German course at the College of Vienna. There, aside from Hochdeutsch, I was likewise trained the Austrian rendition of the words and I could generally inquire as to whether I had any questions. Since some interesting circumstances have happened frequently. I recollect one day I needed to purchase frozen yogurt in Tichy and I saw that there is another taste called Weichsel. Inquisitive, I composed the word in the interpreter on the telephone and saw the name of the Vistula Stream in my country Poland. I needed to purchase this frozen yogurt to discover that it is sharp cherry. I could make reference to a lot increasingly such contrasts, perhaps some time or another I will expound more on it on my blog.

7. Drinking matured grape juice. 

Toward the start of pre-winter, soon after the grape gather, the Viennese race to the close by vineyards to attempt Sturm. What is that? The sort of mixed beverage I previously expounded on in the blog entry about Top 10 activities in Vienna, Austria. In the Czech Republic and Slovakia, it is called burčák or burčiak, in Germany: Federweißer, Super, Sauser, Neuer Süßer, Junger Wein, Neuer Wein. Sturm is a semi-item made during the creation of wine, which can be expended only a couple of days after the beginning of the maturation of grapes. So at the end of the day, it's never again grape juice, not wine yet. What's more, not Beaujolais. Sturm isn't yet clear, has a wonderful sweet taste and is marginally shimmering. It is hard to decide the liquor substance of this beverage, it is generally 4–10%. In Vienna, you can purchase both white and red Sturm. By and by, I incline toward white, however, it merits attempting the two adaptations. Visiting a winery is the best thought, however, if you don't have a lot of time, you can purchase Sturm even at the general store. It is sold in plastic containers that are not curved (the item is as yet aging), so it's better not to place it in a bag! Did any of the things I referenced here additionally shock you? Have you at any point lived or live someplace abroad? What astonished you in a remote nation?

source https://www.travelwiide.com/2020/04/7-things-that-astounded-me-when-living.html

[chroma-asks]

Out-of-Context Chroma System Quotes

(Good luck guessing who said what if you don’t already actively know)

-Motherfuckin’ Spaghetti-O rectum

-Candied baboon ass

-You wouldn’t happen to have a blow torch, would you? (Followed by) The fuck do I look like, an inventor?

-Would you care for some hot grapes…?

-Pls don’t snu-snu the puppet

-Carbonara bananas

-A meme cowboy who says “Yeetthot”

-What if we had an alter named Bacon

-Skyward Sword isn’t bad, it’s just that the boy’s nose is stupid

-Weiss needs more buttcheeks to fill in for her many assholes

-You ever sit and think that battering rams were probably actually designed to look like dicks but history books didn’t like that?

-Fuck me vibrating spider

-It has a daddy kink and hit on Cthulhu, I’m gonna call it what I want

-I put the romance in ‘necromance’

-Go eat Donald Trump’s toenail clippings

-If you say ‘hachacha’ one more time I’m ripping off your dumb nose to put ice cream into

-Hail the Irish, bitch.

-Yes, please don’t ruffle my onesie, it’s Gucci.

-Stop eating all the orange flavored candies you pathetic weenie

-That’s like eating a burrito on Taco Tuesdays

-How are you doing that you have no pupils

-So If Orion walks around without a shirt, he’s completely naked

-You know your house has thin walls when you can hear grandma farting in the bathroom

-So the plural for tooth is teeth like foot with feet. So why isn’t the plural for boot…. beet?

-Gwen puts the “tit” in “competition”

-(in reference to the crusades)Ye Olde Mosh Pit

-Considering Damon’s been harkin’ Harold’s balls all week, I’d assume the latter

-We’re going on the road to El Dorito

-61 vagànias

-What’s this, the Cryptid Lottery?

-That’s it, I’m calling CPS…….Clown Protective Services

-They are seriously playing Blurred Lines in this old people dance club

-Make your ballet shoes 99.9% better by installing syringes filled with chemo in the back

-Black holes are like the Cotton Eye Joe of space. Where do they come from and where do they go

-Wouldn’t it suck if hurricanes and tornadoes were 96% gas?

-Imagine if Vague’s name was pronounced “vagoo”

-PAKA YOU CANNOT NICKNAME JELOSE “JELLO HENTAI” I SWEAR TO GOD

-Anything is mayonnaise when you put your mind to it

-Hhhhhh smells like gonorrhea

-So wait if YOU’RE me, and I’M me, then who’s piloting the flesh jaeger???

-It’s Meat Time™️

-I dance like a freshly peeled lizard

-If I punch a blunt out of someone’s mouth does that make me a weed-whacker?

-“If we get mistaken for an anime enough do you think somebody out there might write an Mpreg fanfic about Damon” “Dear god I hope not”

-I am become symbiote

-If Naraku can also spin webs can he knit a sweater too????

-REPTILES ARE ASLEEP DO ALL THE THINGS NOW

-Beans beans the good for your heart, the more you eat the more you…… love your girlfriend

-Silence you lesser potato

-So I know beefcake is supposed to refer to really muscly dudes but what is it actually like is it a cake made entirely out of beef or is it a cake shaped like a beef

-My love for cheese is canon

-TASTEY MAN

-That really peels my grapes

-Mom said it’s my turn on the flesh jaeger

-Fish-slapping has an entirely new meaning when it’s Damon and Mero going on a date

-Hello would you like to purchase some salmonella

-You must add the phlegm

-Please don’t put your dick in the Christmas water

-The fuck is a ceviche

-By process of elimination…. you are a bitch.

-You are the Mac to my cheese

-It’s the cloaca.

-SOMEBODY HELP TORY’S BEEN HIT WITH SEXY BITCH DISEASE

-Hey just poppin’ in to let you know the Bethesda thing is happening again, k thanks I love u

-Because stabby stabby blood freezy

-sumfin smlel liek toileeeeeeet

-do you want the beesing phuckchurger or not

-I vote we get a pole cause I wanna be the Lord of the Dance 2, Stripper Edition

-don’t forget to water your Satan

-funky funky chunky chunky, monkey butter pet a bee, beep beep sheep sheep, I’m a baby don’t bite me

-No you absolutely canNOT name my theme “Icy London Icy France”

-What is a serial killer but a humble door-to-door death salesman?

-“Deep-fried for your pleasure” “Only the finest of dildas for our resident slut~”

-Take me down to the paradise city where the cows are green and the grass has tiddy

-“An all nutter” you mean a bukkake

-They gonna make us eat at home like some dirty commoner???

-What was that one Disney movie? Humpback of Notre Dame?

-There is no Iceland, only California 2, Electric Boogaloo

-What if the Earth wasn’t actually rotating, it’s all just water currents pushing the continents at a steady pace

-“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s gasoline”“what the fuck”

-What am I, a BDSM version of a Tickle Me Elmo?

-Fanmade STDs

-Naraku, or as I like to call him; Prime Minister of Sluttington

-Take my gratitude and shove it up your ass

-The inside doctor listens to your insides, the outside doctor listens to your outsides because he forgot to use anesthetics

-Like and subscribe to die instantly

-Have you accepted Beefus as your lord and savior

-Go eat one(1) entire lettuce you fuck.

-up the shut slut

-Where there’s a will, there’s a gay

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN POODLES AREN’T A TYPE OF SHEEPDOG?? THEY’RE THE SHEEPIEST LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE DOG WORLD

-I don't know if I wanna do the smashing or the mowing. Either way, your ass is grass

-Treat him gently, he’s just a meatball

-I refuse to believe I know big words

[xeford2020]

“America’s Most Famous Dessert”

Recipe Booklet, “Joys of Jell-O,” circa 1962 THF294490

As Project Curator for the William Davidson Foundation Initiative for Entrepreneurship, I research objects within The Henry Ford’s collections that tell entrepreneurial stories. Most recently, I delved into the Recipe Booklet Collection, which includes recipe booklets and pamphlets from 1852-2006. In researching the many companies represented within the collection I became intrigued by the recipe booklets, and the entrepreneurial story, of the much beloved dessert: Jell-O.

Colorful drawings in the recipe booklet, “Jell-O, America’s Most Famous Dessert,” 1916 THF294400

For more than a century, Jell-O has been served at family gatherings, pot-lucks, and barbeques, becoming an American icon.

Jell-O is made with two primary ingredients: sugar and gelatin. Gelatin is made by extracting collagen from boiled animal bones, hooves, and tissue. Known for its binding capabilities, gelatin has been used as a recipe ingredient for centuries, particularly for molded desserts. Originally, gelatin dishes were most common in wealthy households where servants could be tasked with the time-consuming and unsavory work of making gelatin.

Gelatin is odorless and flavorless, always an added ingredient to a recipe and never a stand-alone dish. Advances in gelatin production eventually led to its packaged powdered form – an innovation that erased the time-consuming preparation and made the product available to nearly everyone. Still, sugar and spices had to be added by the maker. In 1897, Pearle Wait, a carpenter and patent medicine producer, combined fruit flavoring and sugar with gelatin powder to create a pre-packaged fruit-flavored dessert that just required boiling water and some time to cool and set. Pearle Wait and his wife, May, were amazed by the delicious result and the couple believed it would thrive in the packaged food business. May is attributed with having given the Jell-O name to the new product.

Insert within the recipe booklet, “Jell-O Ice Cream Powder: Doesn’t That Look Good?” circa 1910 THF294409 The name “Jell-O” followed a trend at the time of adding an “O” to the end of product names.

With a catchy name and what he thought was a product full of potential, Pearle Wait attempted to sell his new product door-to-door. Unfortunately, Wait lacked the resources necessary to market his innovation, let alone hire salesmen. Less than two years after creating Jell-O, Wait sold the rights to the product and name to a fellow patent medicine competitor, Orator F. Woodward, for $450.

As owner of the Genesee Pure Food Company, Woodward had already experienced success with his health drink, Grain-O. After acquiring the rights to Jell-O, Woodward quickly created advertising for the promising product, but he too struggled to make a profit. He was so frustrated by his lack of initial success that he offered the Jell-O rights to one of his employees for $35. The man refused, which turned out to be extremely fortunate for Woodward. By 1902, his struggling Jell-O business had become a quarter-million-dollar success.

Some believe that this slow start was due to the fact that homemakers prided themselves on their homemaking skills. Ready-made products, such as Jell-O, were looked down upon as too simplistic, requiring no skill. Ironically, the product owed its success to recipe booklets, which provided creative uses for this ready-made product. As early as 1902, booklets were distributed by finely dressed salesmen who went door-to-door on distinctive wagons drawn by well-groomed horses. Once every household in a given area had a recipe booklet, a salesman would go to the local grocer and advise him to stock Jell-O to meet the impending demand. The recipe booklets were a huge success. Jell-O became a household name as homemakers across the country marveled at the “magic” dessert that could be transformed into a colorful dish for any occasion.

Page from the recipe booklet, “Jell-O, America’s Most Famous Dessert,” 1916 THF294401 Jell-O booklets included recipes for a variety of desserts. Some recipes called for additional ingredients of whipped cream, or fresh or canned fruit, while others suggested homemakers use a gelatin mold or specialty serving dishes for a beautiful, sophisticated presentation. 

Recipe Booklet, “The Jell-O Girl Entertains,” circa 1930 THF294510

Jell-O introduced one of its most successful marketing strategies, the Jell-O Girl, in 1904. She helped reinforce the idea that children loved Jell-O and proved that it was easy to make – so easy a child could do it. In this booklet, the Jell-O Girl tells readers that she’s hosting a party and wants to serve her favorite dessert, Jell-O. The booklet includes the Jell-O Girl’s favorite party recipes and describes tips every hostess should know.

Back cover for the recipe booklet, “Polly Put the Kettle On We’ll All Make Jell-O,” 1924 THF294438 Heavy advertising contributed to Jell-O’s success. For some marketing campaigns, Jell-O enlisted prominent artists, including Norman Rockwell and Maxfield Parrish, who designed the image featured here. 

Page from recipe booklet, “Jell-O Secrets for the Automatic Refrigerator,” 1929 THF294522 Although Jell-O became known as “America’s Most Famous Dessert,” it was also suggested as an ingredient in appetizers, molded vegetable salads, and entrées.

Cover and page from the recipe booklet, “New Jell-O Recipes Made with the New Flavor Lime,” Circa 1930 THF294532 In 1897, Jell-O was sold in four flavors: Strawberry, Raspberry, Orange, and Lemon. By 1906, the Genesee Pure Food Company introduced Cherry and Chocolate, with Peach following soon after. Lime Jell-O debuted in 1930.

Page from the recipe booklet, “Polly Put the Kettle On We’ll All Make Jell-O,” 1924 THF294430. Jell-O became a sensation, with factories producing over 1,200 packages per minute by 1924.

By 1923, Jell-O sales had far surpassed the Genesee Pure Food Company’s other ventures, prompting the company to formally change its name to the Jell-O Company. Two years later, in 1925, the Jell-O Company Inc., was sold to Postum Cereal Company, Inc., which would later become part of the large conglomerate General Foods Corporation.

Samantha Johnson is Project Curator for the William Davidson Foundation Initiative for Entrepreneurship at The Henry Ford. Her favorite Jell-O recipe is for what her mother calls “Raspberry Fluff,” made with cottage cheese, Cool Whip, and a dry Raspberry Jell-O package.

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[yetanotherbuffyblog]

Let’s talk about the trippy dream episode, part one

So I finished season four. What was the actual finale? The trippy dream episode.

I’ll not go into too much detail about the dreams until my notes. Then I’ll dive head-first into interpreting what the eff it was all supposed to mean.

So after defeating Adam’s plan and the Initiative being shut down, the Scoobies decide that they’re going to relax with a well-earned movie night at the Summers house. Riley’s going to testify about the Initiative to the government, so it’s just Buffy, Giles, Willow and Xander. Joyce wonders if they’ve slept since the whole thing, but the Scoobies insist that they’re too hyped-up from everything to sleep. So as Joyce goes to bed, the gang puts Apocalypse Now into the VCR and...immediately fall asleep.

The rest of the episode takes place almost entirely in their dreams, going from Willow, to Xander, to Giles and finally to Buffy. Their dreams reveal their insecurities, their fears, and their confusions. But worse than that, there’s something hunting them through their dreams, some kind of monster; it sucks the life from Willow, rips out Xander’s heart and cuts open Giles’s head. It appears as some sort of primal figure, with clawed hands and a painted face. Of the first three, only Giles is the one who actually figures out what it is, but he’s too late.

Buffy’s dream goes much the same, but she is the one who finally speaks with the being hunting them. Turns out that this whole thing is a side effect of the Enjoining Spell they used on Buffy to defeat Adam. The point was to put the attributes of the other four (Willow’s power, Xander’s heart/strength, and Giles’s mind) into Buffy’s body, by calling upon Sineya, the First Slayer. And now the spirit of the First Slayer is haunting their dreams.

The First Slayer confronts Buffy and communicates to her (through simple speech and using a dream version of Tara as a mouthpiece) that the Slayer is meant to be alone, to be a primal killing beast to destroy the evil of the world. But this obviously doesn’t work for Buffy, who is the best Slayer we’ve seen because she’s not alone and has her friends. And Buffy doesn’t overcome the attack of the First Slayer as much as ignore it. By refusing to accept the idea that she’s meant to be alone, she defeats the nightmare, and wakes up.

Oh and there was a weird Cheese Man in all of their dreams?

But the interesting bits aren’t the Plot as much as the dreams. So we’re going to talk about them! What could they possibly mean?

Person: Well I think--

Shut it! I listened to Joss Whedon’s commentary, fool! I have all the answers MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay well not all the answers but let’s talk about some things.

Person: You cheated.

Well suck it.

Notes!

-Willow’s dream opens with her in a room with Tara, talking about not knowing the name of something. Willow seems to think they’re talking about their new cat, but they mention something about it ‘revealing its name to them,’ so I have my doubts? But I don’t want to throw that out entirely. Tara is also laying on the bed without a shirt and Willow is painting something on her back. I was curious if she was actually writing anything, as it looks to be ancient Greek letters--in the commentary Joss confirms that it is, in fact, a Greek poem by Sappho; specifically, “Deathless Aphrodite.”

Now Sappho, for you history/literature nerds out there, was a famous female poet from the island of Lesbos that wrote tons of love poetry. Historians assumed Sappho was a man for the longest time because many are directed at female lovers, but nope! She was a woman. And that’s where we get the word ‘lesbian.’

No really.

-The idea, explained in the commentary, was that Willow’s place of comfort was in Tara’s room with her. And that the idea of ‘letting the thing name itself’ is more feminine than the male ideal of conquering and imposing a name on it (which reeks of 80’s mystical feminism to me, but whatevs Joss). I think we could also talk about how Willow is, at this point in her life, still discovering who she is. In fact she’s been doing it the entire show. And instead of trying assert who she is, like Xander (who utterly fails at this), or having who she is handed to her forcefully, like Buffy, she has a better time of it when she lets herself work it out naturally.

-There’s a bit where Willow is in the hallway of the college and is going to drama class, and she talks to Xander and Oz. I don’t think there’s that much to this bit, though it has Xander give a joke about thinking lesbians are hot after Willow walks off, which Joss admitted wasn’t very dream-like, given that Willow’s not experiencing it.

-Willow shows up at drama class, but it’s the opening night for a play. Specifically, Death of a Salesman, where Harmony (their classmate who became a vampire and was briefly Spike’s girlfriend) is in a weird Bavarian costume, Buffy’s dressed as a femme fatale from a noir film, and Riley’s a cowboy. And Giles is director. They make jokes about Willow stepping on cues, and say that everyone Willow knows, including themselves, are in the audience, and Willow’s family looks angry. The bits of the play we do see don’t make sense, because Riley’s character says he’s come to the small town hunting down a salesman to kill. Or something.

Behind the curtains Willow expresses her confusion about it all to Tara (BEHIND RED VELVET CURTAINS GET IT BECAUSE LESBIANS). Then something starts clawing through the curtains, and she escapes, to find herself in an abandoned high school classroom. Buffy is there to help, but demands she takes off her “costume” which is just her normal clothes. Buffy rips it off, revealing...season one Willow, who has long hair, and dresses much more conservatively (read: like a nerd). And everyone is there, Oz, Xander and Tara laugh at her as she tries to read a book report of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and then she’s attacked, pinned to the floor by the First Slayer, and the life is drained out of her or something.

-Joss said something like the play that you haven’t rehearsed is a common dream, but I haven’t had it?

-Also the Cheese Man is there saying he’s made space for the cheese slices, showing a table with a dish and all the slices of cheese laid out.

-Also there’s a lot of hints that Willow is scared about the people around her knowing who she really is, and the red herring you’re supposed to get is that she thinks people will judge her for being in a relationship with another woman. But it’s actually not that at all--it’s that she’s worried people will think of her as the same shy, nerdy kid she was before all her character development. And that deep down, she still feels that she is that way.

-In short Willow’s dreams are all about identity; not knowing who she is, and worried about others knowing who she is. I think there’s also something in that she’s writing Greek poetry and performing a play, both of which are hallmarks of ancient Greek culture. And given that she’s going further and further into the ancient traditions of witchcraft, maybe we’ll see something of that in the future?

-Xander’s dream starts with him waking up on the couch with Willow asleep, and Giles and Buffy watching Apocalypse Now. Except the movie on the screen has crappy green screen and the guy on it exclaims every war movie cliche in the book. And Giles thinks it’s a stupid movie. Xander gets up to go to the bathroom, and goes upstairs, where he meets Buffy’s mother Joyce. Joyce acts like she’s trying to seduce him, asking if he wants conquest, and Xander responds that he’s like a conquistador, though Joyce then says he looks like he wants comfort, and Xander calls himself a “comfortador.” He then finally goes to the bathroom and is about to start peeing but then looks over, and the rest of the bathroom is the underground area of the Initiative, and all the soldiers and scientists are watching him, with the dudes in labcoats writing on clipboards. He decides to go somewhere else and leaves the room, goes across the hall and finds himself...outside in a playground.

-Alright so Joyce’s comments that he wants comfort and not conquest--that’s loaded. Because Xander is explicitly a character who’s way too into sex, but it’s never gone well for him. And he tries so hard to force what he wants, whether it be hating on Angel, or getting a job, or a sexual relationship. He doesn’t want sex, even though he’s convinced himself of it, he wants comfort and tenderness, because he lives in an abusive household, as past episodes have indicated.

-Joss said that the Initiative watching him is just the common dream of someone watching you go to the bathroom, which he says everyone has, but I don’t know if I’ve had it? I don’t remember having that dream. In any case, if we want to we could interpret it another way. The Initiative being an intrusive part of their lives, invading their most private times. They were just some guys, but then it turns out that Buffy’s dating one and they became a huge focus for each of them, even though aside from Buffy, the Scoobies were all very wary of them.

-There’s also a bit where Joyce says something but her lips don’t move, which Joss said was a dream thing. I dunno.

-In the playground, Buffy is playing in a sandbox. Giles and Spike are both wearing tweed suits and are swinging together having fun in the sunshine, and they say that they’re training Spike to be a Watcher because he’s like a son to Giles. When Xander tells Buffy to be careful of the sandbox, as it’s bigger than it looks, there’s a shot of Buffy sitting in the sand of a massive desert, and she says, “It’s not coming for me yet.” Xander looks over to see the ice cream truck he used to drive, and he’s the one in it giving out ice cream, and then he’s driving the ice cream truck with Anya next to him.

-I...don’t know what to make of this? Arguably that he sees Buffy as in over her head as to what she’s doing, or that she’s seeming of the same world as him while being in a completely different place in every way. He might also be disturbed about Spike becoming a sort-of member of the group, thinking that it’s weird and out of place.

Also the ice cream truck he sees himself in is distant from everyone else.

-In the ice cream truck he talks to Anya about where he’s going (which he doesn’t know), and Anya says she wants to get back to being a vengeance demon. Xander opposes, thinks it’s dangerous. Then in the back, Tara and Willow are there, very skimpily clad, and start making out (though the camera doesn’t show it, only Xander’s reaction, which Joss says the network made them cut shorter). They ask if he wants to join them, and Anya lets him so he goes to the back...crawling through an absurdly long back of the truck, over boxes and things that weren’t there before, and when he gets to the back...he stumbles into his parents’ basement, where he lives. Someone is knocking on the door very loudly and angrily. The Cheese Man tells him that the cheese won’t protect him.

-The conversation about not knowing where he’s going is kind of a no-brainer. Skip.

-Joss points out that Xander tends to view all the female characters sexually at some point or another and does not apologize for it. It’s just...Xander. I think it’s also telling that while his dream shows plenty of the female characters, and some of them sexually, he never actually interacts sexually with them. Joyce just walks off while he goes to the bathroom, and Tara and Willow aren’t there when he gets to the back.

-Joss also points out that he ends up in the basement again, which he doesn’t want to be in; he just ends up there.

-Xander takes another door and finds himself at the college, and see Giles. He asks Giles for help, if he knows what’s going on, and Giles tells him to calm down and starts to communicate what to do...which then switches to French. French that doesn’t match with his lip movements. Anya also comes over talking French. Xander doesn’t understand them, and they get increasingly agitated… when the student population swarms him, and drags him away… and he finds himself in front of Principal Snyder.

-the French dialogue, btw, is this (taken from here):

GILES (in English) The others have all gone ahead. Now listen carefully. Your life may depend on what I am about to tell you. You need to get to --

(switch to French)

the house where we're all sleeping. All your friends are there having a wonderful time and getting on with their lives. The creature can't hurt you there.

XANDER What? Go Where? I don't understand.

GILES (still dubbed in French) Oh for God's sake, this is no time for your idiotic games!

Anya rushes to them, worried. And dubbed.

ANYA (dubbed in French) Xander! You have to come with us now! Everybody's waiting for you!

GILES (still dubbed in French) That's what I've been trying to tell him.

XANDER Honey, I don't -- I can't hear you...

[Anya grabs his arm, starts dragging him.]

ANYA (dubbed in French) It's not important. I'll take you there.

XANDER Well, wait. Where are we going?

-The Xander being dragged away scene is supposed to be a shot-for-shot scene from Apocalypse Now, as is the scene with Snyder. Joss said the crew watched the scene over and over to get it right. Not having seen that movie, I couldn’t tell.

-The scene with Snyder is taken from the scene with Kurtz in AN. Snyder tells Xander his time is running out, and that when asks him who he is, Xander says he’s a comfortador. Snyder tells him that he’s neither that nor a conquering; he’s “A whipping boy, raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.” Xander tells him that he’s glad that Snyder was killed by the Mayor at the Ascension.

-Joss said they explicitly didn’t want this to be a parody, at least not played as one. So the tone is dead serious.

-Snyder saying he’s “raised by mongrels” could be reference to the abusive household Xander was raised in. “Set on a sacrificial stone” is a bit more ambiguous, but possibly in that Xander still thinks that his friends see him as nothing more but a waste of space? To be used?

-Also Xander said to Snyder that one day he’d give him an honest comeback, and he never did. Except in his dream, where he told him he was glad he got killed.

-Xander runs through several scenes: Giles’s house, where the Scoobies are arguing about something, then the dorm hallway, then Buffy’s room. He goes into the closet, digging through and finds himself...back in the basement. The door that someone was banging on finally opens, and it’s his father, who’s angry. Xander’s father insults him and calls him useless. He then turns into the First Slayer and rips out Xander’s heart.

Alright that’s it for Part One! I’ll talk Giles and Buffy’s dreams in Part Two!

[autodidact-adventures]

Culinary History (Part 39): Ice Cream

The technique of adding salt to ice to lower its temperature was discovered in India around 300 AD.  Salt lowers the freezing point of ice (potentially down to -21°C).  By the 1200's, Arab physicians were adding saltpetre to water to make artificial snow and ice.

European visitors were astounded by the chilled syrups and sherbets available in the Middle East.  Pierre Belon (French) travelled there in the 1500's, and was amazed by the sweet cold drinks.  “Some are made of figs, others of plums, and of pears and peaches, others again of apricots and grapes, yet others of honey, and the sherbet-maker mixes snow or ice with them, to cool them.”

In Persia, sherbets were made from lemon, orange or pomegranate juice.  The fruit was squeezed through a silver strainer, sugar was added, it was diluted with water, and finally ice was piled in. Texture-wise, it was between a lemonade and a slush-puppy.   In 1813, Lord Byron wrote, “Give me a sun, I care not how hot, and sherbet, I care not how cool, and my Heaven is as easily made as your Persian's.”

By the 1600's, Europeans were making frozen water ices in Paris, Florence and Naples.  By the mid-1700's, sweet ices were a common food.  Sorbetto sellers walked through Naples, selling ice cream in all sorts of flavours, including sweet orange, bitter cherry, muscat pear and jasmine.  It was made & carried in a sorbettiera – a tall container with a metal lid, inside a bucket of ice & salt.  The salesman would spin the sorbettiera around inside the bucket every few minutes, to keep it creamy as it froze.  Every so often, they'd stir the ice with a wooden spatula. Sorbetto was the catch-all Italian word for ice cream back then, rather than gelato.

Mrs. Marshall ran a cooking school at 31 Mortimer Street (central London).  Her first name was Agnes, and she was a mother of four children, living in St. John's Wood (northern London).  She set up her school in 1883.  Not long afterwards, she opened a shop which claimed to equip an entire kitchen with everything that was necessary, from knife-cleaners to ice-cream molds.  She sold essences and food colourings, as well.  And she wrote cookbooks (two on ice cream, two general), which had advertisements for her own products at the back.  Her 1888 cookbook included a recipe for “cornets with cream”, which may be the first publication of the edible ice-cream cone.

She was known as the “Queen of Ices”, and she patented the Mrs. Marshall's Patent Freezer, which boasted “Smooth and Delicious Ice produced in three minutes.”  This is a pretty wild claim, especially since the best ice-cream makers today take up to half an hour.  And hers was by hand.  But it was actually (nearly) true – her machine took less than 5min to make a batch of ice cream, so long as it wasn't a huge amount.

Agnes Bertha Marshall.

In 1998, only five of her machinese were known to exist, three owned by Robin Weir, Britain's leading ice-cream historian.  Ivan Day owns another.  It looks very similar to the classic American hand-cranked ice-cream machine, invented by Nancy Johnson in 1843.  In Johnson's machine, a metal container sits inside a bucket, and like with the sorbettiera, you pour the mixture in the metal container, and ice & salt into the bucket.  The lid is put on, and the handle cranked, which turns the dasher inside, scraping the ice cream from the sides of the metal container as it freezes.  This can be done in 20min on a not-too-warm day, if you've put as much ice & salt in as possible.

Mrs. Marshall's machine is better because it is so wide and shallow, thus providing a greater surface for the ice-salt mixture to come into contact with.  The ice & salt is only packed under the container, not around the sides.

It is different also in that the central paddle stays still, and the crank turns the metal container around.  In all other domestic ice-cream makers (electrical or not), it's the other way around.

The one problem is that Marshall made her machines out of zinc, to save money.  But zinc is poisonous, although Robin Weir does eat ice cream out of his, because the toxicity is miniscule at below-zero temperatures.

In Ices Plain and Fancy: The Book of Ices (1885), Marshall gives recipes for many flavours – apricot, burnt almond, cinnamon, gooseberry, greengage (a type of plum), orange-flower water, pistachio, quince, tangerine and tea.

She published a weekly magazine called The Table from 1886 onwards.  In a 1901 article, she suggests another ice-cream idea:

By the aid of liquid oxygen...each guest at a dinner party may make his or her own ice cream at the table by simply stirring with a spoon the ingredients of ice cream to which a few drops of liquid air has been added by the servant.

She probably got the idea from a scientific lecture on liquefied gases at the Royal Institution, and never tried it herself.  A few drops is unlikely to be enough to freeze a whole bown of ice cream. But she was very much ahead of her time.

Mrs. Marshall also sold a range of “Cabinet Refrigerators” with “all modern improvements” during the 1880's.  But they were just free-standing wooden cupboards with a couple of containers at the top for ice (so basically ice-boxes).  She died in 1905, having never recovered from falling off a horse the year before.

[engl699readingjournal-blog]

after my initial time spent in Berlin, I wanted to see all the friends I had made (miraculously) again as soon as possible. the fall semester was a real special kind of dismal – at some point before studying abroad, I remember thinking how dumb it sounded to feel “culture shock” or any kind of adjustment period when coming back into your own element, your home, your comfort zone. what was the big deal? I’d go back to school the next week and catch up with my Maryland folks and pick up where I left off. I thought that anyone who felt culture shock re-immersing themselves into the culture in which they were raised, and which they only left for about six or seven months, was surely being overdramatic.

I did not pick up where I’d left off. for all intents and purposes I went on with my senior year as expected, because the academic calendar does not stop or slow down to accommodate your mental breakdowns. there was the matter of getting off the bupropion, which took seven more months to accomplish – at one breaking point I flushed all the pills down the toilet and proceeded to have an extended withdrawal period that I refused to go to the doctor and talk about precisely because I didn’t want to admit to flushing the fucking pills down the toilet. the “what are you going to do after you graduate?” question started to assault my conscience from all angles. the stories I came back with about my new friends, my experiences, some absolute disasters, felt increasingly not worth sharing. none of the people I told them to were there, they had only experienced filtered pictures of streets in Prenzlauer Berg and weird shit displayed at the Schwules Museum through my Instagram. they knew very little of the manic episodes and the hospital visit, which were things I unsurprisingly decided not to broadcast. some friends noticed my tendency to be up tweeting at times when they should have been in bed and chalked it up to my becoming some kind of Berlin night denizen. I did spend a lot of nights out late, but the fact is that most of those tweets were probably posted from my bed where I sometimes sat among enormous boxes of Aldi cereal and sacks of stale rolls and huge mineral water bottles for 36 hours at a time without moving.

there was nobody to talk about that with. talking about that would have required backstory; letting someone from home in on an inside story or anecdote that involved a Berlin friend would have involved me explaining everything from how I met this or that person up to the circumstances that got us into this or that situation and why it was funny in the first place, and that was exhausting, so I just didn’t bother. I thought the solution to this slump was to go back as soon as I could and throw myself back into the life I had created for myself there, for whatever reason not really considering that the obvious common denominator when it came to all my Big Life Issues was me. so I went back for the New Year and stayed with one of my closest friends there for the entire month of January. during the spring and summer we had spent a lot of time hanging and visited London together in July. I think to them I was sort of an interesting figure; I had sort of materialized in their life right when they were at the end of a nine-year relationship and when I guess I made it pretty clear that I was not interested in That we became friends. I think they were very intrigued by how fucking far away I lived; at the beginning, when I was invited somewhere, I showed up, having somehow found my way to the location, then just vanished when the night was over. I don’t know what kind of questions were asked about me or if anyone asked any questions at all, but I guess that superficially this strange artsy American student with sunken eyes and skin the color of white asparagus vibe was attractive. by the time I went home, we had become very close, and I was in good standing with their whole gang, I didn’t think about how shitty it is to be trans every ten minutes, I didn’t have a dining plan or a fucking RA, I felt like a God Damn Adult.

I was not a God Damn Adult. I don’t think it was that I felt more mature than I actually was, but mental illness makes you feel that way. when you are depressed, it is sometimes hard to remember that you can’t keep a routine because you are sick, not because you expect other people to do your laundry or cook for you. when you are anorexic, it is sometimes hard to remember that you aren’t eating because you are committed to not eating, not because you are too irresponsible to go grocery shopping. when you have anxiety, it is sometimes hard to remember that you won’t go into a packed bar or board an overcrowded train out of self-preservation and not because you’re too shy or sheltered to face the Real World. I have faced many aspects of the Real World. sometimes I prefer to limit my intake of it.

something about returning to Berlin for the winter break felt like returning home after being called away by an inconvenient business trip. my friends in Berlin had seen parts of myself that my friends and even family at home did not – not really because I trusted them more, but because various illnesses manifested themselves differently while I was away, new illnesses developed, some illnesses worsened. it wasn’t so much a matter of me letting them in, but that it was all very plainly visible and impossible to avoid discussing. it was good to be back around them. the semester had been draining and I was content to sit in my friend’s apartment scowling at and defacing Siegessäule magazine, watching movies, sitting in the same two cafés within a block of the apartment. I had plans to go to museums and exhibitions, but forgot I didn’t have the money to do that. I was still using my expired student ID from the F.U. to take transit. David Bowie died that month and I spent an entire week with another close friend, sitting in Neues Ufer and moping. I bought soy milk, black bread, and mango-curry spread and ate these breakfasts with great ceremony when I woke up at noon. I contributed rent money, bought toilet paper and cleaned the apartment when I felt it was cluttered, I tried my best to leave no traces of my existence as a guest because that to me was what a good guest did. apparently it was not good enough.

two days before I left, this friend and I went to brunch at a place around the corner and shared a large Mediterranean brunch plate. I remembered this place from the summer, when the floor-to-ceiling windows opened outward and the seating overflowed onto the sidewalk. now it was perpetually slate-grey and snowing. later I learned that this friend hated Berlin in the winter, so maybe I wasn’t entirely responsible for their decision to lay out every flaw in my personality onto the tiny breakfast table like a door-to-door curtain salesman might fan out swatches of fabric for a housewife’s consideration. but that’s what happened. not five minutes into the meal, which was an obscenely large arrangement of brightly-colored fruits that felt absurd considering that we were seated against cold foggy glass through which I watched people in 35 pounds of layers bike past. a small park across the street was frozen over – I remembered eating ice cream there a few days before flying home in August. now it was littered with trash and petrified dog shit preserved under a layer of frost – my friend asked if I had enjoyed myself.

yes, definitely, I said. I had had a really awful semester, I was glad to be away from home in January. January, I explained without feeling the need to go into excessive detail, was historically the worst month of the year for me. if someone died, it was in January. if I wanted to die, it was in January. I wasn’t feeling that way this year. I felt rested. some things needed to be taken care of when I got home, like the extended bupropion withdrawal and the panic attacks, but I was nonetheless very happy to have seen everyone. I had enjoyed myself.

this didn’t seem to be the answer they were hoping for. I guess they were hoping I would say something along the lines of: “well, you know, I realized that I’m unmotivated to pull myself out of a minor funk by forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do,” or, “well, you know, I realized that I’m moody and deal with increasingly confrontational conversations with friends by going silent,” or, “well, you know, I really wish I had done more.” because that’s what I ended up learning about myself in the next thirty seconds – that I made little effort to feel better when I was down, which must have meant I didn’t want to get better in any facet of my life. that I spent days at a time content with sitting in a café instead of going to museums and theaters the way I had planned on doing before arriving.

well, I said, I didn’t realize how tired I was. I had more in mind for myself than I wanted to do.

but you really didn’t do much at all. you spent most of the time in the apartment.

no, I really don’t feel like that was all I did.

it just seems to me that you are maybe – not so independent.

this I found really odious and began raving. fuck the giant fruit plate that sat between us uncomfortably, big as a pottery wheel. not independent?

well, I remember back in July –

fucking July?

when we were in London. you said you might not have done much at all if I hadn’t initiated our days out. and this month, for example, when you had to go to the grocery store sometimes, you asked me if I wanted to come too. and if I said no, you wouldn’t go either, instead of just going by yourself.

fucking July? the grocery store? I got there eventually, didn’t I, each time? nobody ever shat without toilet paper, did they? I walked around about six cities by myself, hadn’t I? was it not clear that I meant our ideas of visiting a city were different – I took walks, they liked museums?

and that sometimes I was slow to react, as if I spent more time in my head than in reality. I did not take initiative. I drank tea but never made it. I only helped open the windows to air out the room when they were already up doing it.

I only drank the tea because it was there and I knew you weren’t going to drink two liters of hot lemon water with chunks of ginger. I never thought to open the windows myself because I thought it was a pointless exercise in making a room 7 degrees and no less stuffy than before.

not independent? I flew into a complete rage. did they know that when I spoke about how January was historically bad it was because of a high-school suicide attempt that stained the entire month for me, that when I said I was content with my January for once it was because it was the first January in five years in which I wasn’t close to doing that again? I didn’t want them to know all this, but it ended up that way. why do people not point things out to me as they happen? why compile a dossier and then present it to me like an airing of grievances or the way a court clerk reads a docket aloud to the judge at an arraignment? I told them I would never do something like this to anyone I called a friend and went silent. the still-hot cup of black tea was to be unfinished, a roll I had ripped in half was left on the heap of stupid fruit and hummus. fuck you, I thought. eat this entire ridiculous plate yourself. I wondered whether it would be a good idea to spend my last two nights in a hostel, if this whole thing was that big of a deal. they told me that they hadn’t expected my reaction and were only trying to help. I said I was done eating and started counting Euros to pay them back for half the cost of the plate. I had to walk to a friend’s nearby apartment to pick up the bike I had borrowed and ridden once and drop it off with its owner, another few blocks away. I would see them back at the apartment.

in many of the conversations between Isherwood and the two Landauer cousins – Natalia and Bernhard – I feel reverberations of the conversations I had with this friend, who is still a friend. many instances of “why are you asking me this question?” and “what are you thinking about me based on this answer I’m giving?” many small spats that end in silence that is sometimes just as explosive as the argument that should be had. many feelings that conversations were more judgment than lively discussion, comprising many topics that I didn’t feel like talking about but would have been met with a “why?” if avoided: why wasn’t my position against parents beating their kids’ asses stronger? I don’t know. my parents beat my ass on what I felt was probably the proper occasion. was it possible that I was attracted to men since I wrote stories about men who were attracted to men? no. how did I know? why wouldn’t I get a soup? I ate a Kinder bar from the fucking vending machine on the train platform and didn’t want anything. why? many whys. many back-and-forths like this. many signs that both people are carrying around too much baggage associated with the fucking month of January. at the gloomy winter excursion to the Landauers’ Wannsee country house, Isherwood enters, at Bernhard’s invitation, into a space of memory and tragic association for a reason that he does not quite himself understand. why is he the one privy to Bernhard’s entire life story? what exactly is the nature of this relationship? why do months pass before they speak again? in Isherwood’s crafted world of innuendo and suggestion, we do not know just how intimate this relationship is. at a closer look, holes open up in the narrative that could easily be filled with the obvious. as with the famous ellipsis in The Great Gatsby, one moment Isherwood is being led to Bernhard’s bedroom with Bernhard’s hand on his shoulder. the next morning they are having breakfast. I have such holes in my own memory but I am sure none of them involve sex. depression eats away at your brain cells, its effect much like that of self-censorship.

in June, during my study abroad, I went to the hospital for a panic attack. as with most panic attacks, I thought I was going to die, and when I explained to the E.R. doctor that I had a laundry list of pre-existing psychological conditions I was put into a bus and rerouted to a mental health clinic on the Wannsee (after we made a really unnecessary detour through Charlottenburg which added an entire hour to the journey). there, I spoke in English with a woman whose job was apparently to stay up all night and receive nutjobs like me at 3 AM in her small, inviting office. she asked me if I wanted to stay there. that sounded terrifying. I had work to do and nineteen credits to earn. no, I did not want to stay there. yes, I would start eating. yes, I would take care of myself. she told me I was brave for being here all alone with all of the things that I was dealing with, and that it took a great deal of strength to take all of your problems abroad with you – many people foolishly thought that going somewhere meant somehow that those problems would not come with them. I did not see myself as brave or strong. I saw myself sitting in a consultation room at a psych clinic while the sun rose. I wondered whether I would be forced to stay on some grounds, whether saying “yes” to an invitation to stay was the only right answer. but “no” was accepted. I walked out with a business card, saying goodbye to the man at the reception desk like I was leaving a Holiday Inn. I walked a few miles until I decided it was time to get on a bus.

(this was not something I tweeted about)

[poppun-chan]

The Year of Keroro Challenge Update 4 (Yes Sir)

Goodness, even though I mentioned looking forward to this one it took quite a while to write it (this has been a difficult week)in terms of watching I’m almost finished with the first season, actually, one strange thing I noticed was that the valentines episode actually lines up with valentines day. But before we get started Jlucy pointed out to me that the scene from episode 21 with the car is specifically a nod to “Castle of Caliostro” with the drivers being based on two of the main characters and the car being a nod to the Fiat from the movie. Actually I wonder if the writers for the dub had this in mind when they were writing; in the English version the driver mentions he was renting a car because he didn’t want to use his Fiat.

Either way I had planned to wait until there weren’t any text pieces to translate, but I have at least one more of these non-episode specific notes to do before we reach episode 65, so a bit on name origins (The ones for the Human characters will probably be less familiar, but still....)

Keroro-Kero, the noise a frog makes (I’ve always suspected this is actually a really common name)

Tamama-Otamajakushi, meaning tadpole (I really find myself wondering about his family background that his parents gave him a name that assumes he’s going to look like a child for a long time)

Giroro-Giro, the onomatopoeia for glaring at someone/something

Kururu-Kuru, it’s used as an onomatopoeia, a noun, and a verb, either way it refers to something twisting, spinning or turning (which is why his resonance creates a loop)

Dororo-It’s best known as a reference to the Osamu Tezuka manga Dororo, which takes place in the feudal era, it also works as a play on Doro-Doro which is the sound of something dripping

And the plan count:

Serious Plans: K66:16 D66:1 MMK:1 TMM:1

Funding Plans: K66:1

It’s a plan, I Swear!: K66:5 (I’m throwing the sports day mission in here too)

Oh look! Progress!: K66:3 

And the marker board from episode 27:

Episode 22: Now first of all I’ve always enjoyed this episode, the absurdity, the cute break down Tamama has at the end, the completely impractical but still fun plan (actually I think Tamama only comes up with three plans over the course of the entire show and they’re all more or less the same basic concept). Plus the little stealth pun when Natsumi gets angry about the shower; she shouts “Kora!” which is an interjection that can be used as a reprimand, but it’s pronounced similarly to Cola.

Actually, speaking of this part I have to admit I sort of agree with Tamama’s point that Fuyuki could just serve that cake in the fridge instead of making dinner....Actually even the bit about accounting for nutritional balance could sort of be refuted; Baked goods often contain grains and eggs, not always dairy but ice cream and cheese cake covers that, his plan allowed tuna as an exception so that’s meat covered, plus many desserts are made with fruit and there are some made with vegetables (carrot cake, anything with pumpkin in it, corn cake), sure most people would probably either stop eating before this point or simply die trying, but theoretically it IS possible to get normal nutrients that way....Yes I’ve seriously thought about this; there are quite a few characters that can be explained this way.

Finally no discussion of this episode would be complete without bringing up the infamous letter, so I’m going to try and cover this in more depth since I have the luxury of making this a separate note. First of all, it’s written really oddly; everything except the word “leader” is written in katakana which you normally wouldn’t do (hiragana only is a different matter, but in modern times it’s considered a bit childish). One big issue with not using kanji is that it’s much harder to tell what you’re trying to say, plus katakana itself is a bit sticky since some of them strongly resemble each other or other kanji (one relevant to this is katakana ni resembling the kanji for two which is often pronounced the same way). The revealed part admittedly seems phrased a bit simply, but it says “Taichou wa Tamama ni” or “Tamama’s Leader” while the full message is “Taichou wa Keroro ni Makasetamama ni” or “Keroro will be left as the leader” I suppose the closest thing in English would be if the letters were a bit more spaced apart instead of grouped together

And fun fact; Etsuko Kozakura, the woman who provides Tamama’s voice, also did the voice of Puppetmon/Pinocchimon from the original Digimon series. I just thought I’d mention this since I noticed a few....similarities between their management styles (Though Tamama just imprisoned people who crossed him instead of....deleting them)....actually watching the episode and knowing this made me look into Digimon again, did you know one of the newer series has a Puppetmon who is one of the friend Digimon that shows up every now and then? Really. They have his nose grow when he lies (including to himself) and give him some really charming moments....and he shares his English voice with Keroro, hm.

Episode 23: And it’s the clone episode! I have to confess, the bit about the clones not having a star always makes me wish there was a video of the original Keroro singing the song from the Sneetches, the one where the starred Sneetches are roasting marshmallows....I know it’s a strange association to make, but....Come to think of it, I don’t think this was a manga chapter, I’m not completely sure and I know most of the season one episodes were based on the manga, but I know a few stories were anime exclusive and I believe this was the first one, either way it’s hilarious to see Keroro being the responsible one and getting annoyed by the behaviour of his own clones (still, at least there was an easily visible way of telling them apart, which is better than what happened with Pinkie Pie, some people still theorise that they kept the wrong Pinkie).

Now for a bit of a sticky area, especially since I’ve been putting up with my grandfather’s preoccupation with this particular time for most of my life, but I noticed something a bit odd. Even now, a lot of people seem to be weirded out by the “clone salute”, but they actually switched two of the syllables in the Aliens’ name for Earth because the original term from the manga was associated with the Sino-Japanese wars (I’m not sure which, there’s two major ones and a bunch of smaller conflicts, but the second big one was during the world war) and was banned from television. I’d be curious to find out what it is that makes one war reference more acceptable than another (maybe because calling Earth “Pokopen” alludes to much longer standing conflict with a specific country? I have to admit I always wondered if the best way of handling “touchy terms” would be to find a positive, unrelated use for them so they take on a new meaning and the old one eventually falls out of use; you often hear about the power of words, but it’s actually their meanings that have effect rather than the words themselves)

Episode 24: Oh dear it’s 556, I have to admit I’ve never liked this guy (though I will admit, I like the instrumental version of his song on the Christmas album) I know for a lot of people felt the same way with Joriri eventually replacing him, but it didn’t work the same way for me.

Actually, one thing I love about this episode is how when Keroro wonders about the emotions he’s feeling watching 556 fighting “monsters” they immediately cut to Tamama; it’s almost as if the cinematography is saying “Let’s ask your resident expert, shall we?”

Actually I recently looked at the Japanese version of the full character page again, I think there’s one surprising one on there; I know 556 and Labbie are references to Space Sheriff Gaven and a character named Annie from Space Sheriff Shaider, but the character page lists their relationship as Gukyou-Kenmai or “Goofy Older Brother, Wise Younger Sister” which was the original title for a T.V. series called “Otoko wa Tsurai yo” or “It’s tough to be a man” which later became a huge film series of the same title (Often called “Tora-san” after the main character, Torajirou), spanning 48 installments and nearly three decades (only ending when the actor playing Torajiro died). The films followed a similar formula of Torajirou the traveling salesman going home to his sister’s family, walking out after getting into an argument and meeting a distressed young woman in the next town he goes to and offering to let her stay at the family’s sweet shop if she needs it. Eventually this happens and he falls in love with her, but in trying to win her over indavertantly ends up setting her up with another man and ending up disappointed, but putting on a brave face and wishing her the best before journeying to another town in hopes of getting over her and eventually becoming somebody his family can be proud of. 

The first movie was actually made to please fans of the original show who were upset that Torajirou died of a snakebite in the final episode, it also took quite a bit of convincing from the director to get the first movie made. Incidentally, the working title for the original show came from the final caption in another piece Torajiro’s actor played in

Episode 25: And here we have a Nishizawa family quarrel....which is appearently not considered complete unless enough money is spent that you could buy a small town and heavy weapons are nearly used (that’s the second time Keroro’s nearly let to Earth be destroyed only to be stopped at the last moment by the realisation that Earth is the official “Gunpla Planet”). Still there are some nice little moments (though I wonder if they ever did make that video, as long as they cut out the bits where they start to lose it could work)

Episode 26: Sports Day fun times ♪ Actually, has anyone ever noticed that whenever a show wants to slow down a sports day they usually target the scavenger hunt? Though now that I think about it, the cruel irony of all this is if they hadn’t tried to help, Aki probably would have made it in time to run in the race (or at least, the combined effect of accidentally speeding up the 100 meter dash and ruining some of the manuscripts). Though I do admit that I miss the parts from the manga where Momoka is running a race and the newspaper article at the end “Freak in tights crashes sports fest” I find it strangely hilarious the way they worded it. Also it’s amazing the things that become relevant later on, let’s see who remembers what I’m talking about.

Episode 27:  First of all, I love the way Keroro offhandedly compares renewing interest in the invasion to reviving the dead (He already knows it’s a lost cause), it’s especially interesting considering they come across the remnants of a failed invasion later on. Actually I sort of want to see a spin off about those past invaders; not necessarily a big, dramatic, action-y thing mind you, honestly I expect it would be more or less the same thing as with Keroro but in ancient times, perhaps with the human characters being the ancestors of the current ones.

Also they use the pun of kaeru meaning both “frog” and “to return” quite a lot in the series. Though I have to admit I can relate to Keroro’s feelings a bit here; all of the women in my family have been quite formidable, especially for their time, and my mother is crusading to change the child welfare system in Canada (even though she’s never been in it) and doing all of these things for political change and I sometimes feel I can’t really measure up to that, even though I don’t plan on going into a related field. Plus because of her work I’m a bit burnt out on people issues, I focus more on environmental ones.

Episode 28: This one was a bit tricky, though I always thought the effect of the cold weather on the Keronians sounded more like windburn than all out frostbite. As for the second part this officially marked the beginning of the odd sort of dynamic of Mois & Kururu, I don’t remember how much it was explored in the show apart from her sometimes being who they went with when they needed a girl to associate with Kururu, though I remember a few moments from the manga that built on it, such as the “Angol Stone” chapter.

[evancarmichael]

✎ If you're looking for ways to be a visionary, get rid of limiting beliefs, and have absolute certainty this video is for you. Grab a snack and chew on today's lessons from a man who went from making $20,000 a summer selling ice cream at the beach and wanting to be a dentist, to becoming the Wolf of Wall Street and a motivational speaker. He's Jordan Belfort and here's my take on his Top 10 Rules for Success Volume 2! ★★★ SECRET BONUS VIDEO ★★★ What is the One Word that is most important to Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, will.iam, Oprah Winfrey, and Howard Schultz? Find out here: http://ift.tt/2yEDhU2 ❤ HELP TRANSLATE THIS VIDEO ❤ If you loved this video, help people in other countries enjoy it too by making captions for it. Spread the love and impact. https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_video?v=W350BU1vue4 ★ MORE RECOMMENDED VIDEOS FOR YOU ★ If you enjoyed this video, you may enjoy these other videos from Evan Carmichael: • Jordan Belfort's Top 10 Rules For Success - https://youtu.be/xnwCUaOriJs • Become unconsciously COMPETENT - Jordan Belfort - https://youtu.be/2btMzkvqT_w • "Play FULL OUT!" - Jordan Belfort - https://youtu.be/AaVzByZ23q4 -= BELFORT'S RULES =- 1. Be a visionary 2. Get rid of limiting beliefs 3. Learn to influence & persuade 4. Manage your state 5. Do what you love 6. Have absolute certainty 7. Learn new skills 8. Manage your standards 9. Hustle 10. Always be prepared -= BONUS =- * Market properly * Get money * Learn to build rapport ✎ Before completing high school, he earned $20,000 selling Italian ice from styrofoam coolers to people at a local beach. He was a door-to-door meat and seafood salesman on Long Island, New York. He grew his meat-selling business to employ several workers and sold 5,000 pounds of beef and fish a week. A family friend helped him find a job as a trainee stockbroker at L.F. Rothschild. He founded Stratton Oakmont as a franchise of Stratton Securities, then later bought out the original founder. He also runs sales seminars entitled “Jordan Belfort's Straight Line Sales Psychology”. He acted as a consultant to more than fifty public companies. When he first began speaking he focused largely on motivation and ethics. His life story has been turned in to a major motion picture starring Leonardo DiCaprio and directed by Martin Scorsese. His two bestselling memoirs, The Wolf of Wall Street and Catching the Wolf of Wall Street, have been published in over forty countries. ✔ SOURCES ✔ https://youtu.be/G3K92uugO9o theroomlivecom https://youtu.be/eS5fLPvDHSQ Joe Polish's Genius Network® and Piranha Marketing, Inc. https://youtu.be/om1FNUWg4yo Tai Lopez https://youtu.be/CQRkfghOF8w Telecom Consulting Group ♛ BUY MY BOOK, CHANGE YOUR LIFE ♛ Some used the ideas in this book to build multi-billion-dollar businesses. I'll give you the simple-yet-powerful formula that they used (and you can) to realize your dreams. Get yours. http://ift.tt/2auuYKa ✉ JOIN MY #BELIEVE NEWSLETTER ✉ This is the best way to have entrepreneur gold delivered to your inbox, and to be inspired, encouraged and supported in your business. Join #BelieveNation and feel the love. http://ift.tt/1DyhRRs ⚑ SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL ⚑ If you want to do great things you need to have a great environment. Create one by subbing and watching daily. http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=Modelingthemasters ¿ COMMON QUESTIONS ¿ • What is #BTA?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsY8bmTUVP8 • How do I get one of Evan's t-shirts?: http://ift.tt/1VBOMjE • Why does Evan look like Nicolas Cage?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZHRniTcRwo • Why does Evan make so many videos? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEKxGA8xr1k • How do I vote for the next Top 10 video Evan should make? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0arZb0xLIDM ツ CONNECT WITH ME ツ Leave a comment on this video and it'll get a response. Or you can connect with me on different social platforms too: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/evancarmichael • Facebook: http://ift.tt/1t8ruBM • Google+: http://ift.tt/1wAY1Ex • Website: http://ift.tt/LfsMJ5 • Livestream Channel: http://ift.tt/2j1vZP7 • #BelieveNation Forums: http://ift.tt/2jsqFn6 .: MORE ABOUT ME PERSONALLY :. • About: http://ift.tt/1wAY43c • Speaking: http://ift.tt/1wAY1UU ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for watching - I really appreciate it :) Cheers, Evan #Believe

[topicprinter]

I made a couple of posts a while back and they got me thinking.Ive become quite introspective recently, probably because Im going through a lot in life including a major home renovation while trying to bring up 2 young kids, a couple of changes in my business/career and running another business which sells online in another country.As I mentioned briefly in those other posts, I’ve learned mostly from direct experience and practise but also from observing those others I have worked with and for. I learned a little from books but I advise mostly against it now if Im being honest.Don’t get me wrong, books are invaluable and learning from the past experiences of others is the only way to truly learn about and navigate our way through life and business without taking too long about it. But that said- not one of the people I know reads business books- I know these guys very well and know it for certain (helped by the fact that a couple of them CANT read!)Todays little post then is just to provide some advice that relate to a common theme I’ve seen on here and others more so than usual recently.Instead of asking ‘Which Business(es) Should I start’….. ask yourself ‘What Strengths and Skills do I want to build and use for the rest of my life?’Well let me start by saying that while wanting to start a business is both a noble and worthy aim- I think you’re better off trying to figure what skill set you would like to develop AND THEN go and start the business.There is no one particular industry that you will fare better in over an other when you boil it down. My own successes and that of the people in my social and proffesional circles are quite varied and have changed over the course of our lives so you can probably really just choose any other than something that is obviously in its sunset years.I try to avoid using specific examples of high achievers but when you look at successful people across all the spectrums from 100k a year mortgage free guy through to billionaire, many of them have had their fingers in several pies over the years and have often had success in a couple or more different industries.What they mostly have done is developed a particular skill set- they figured out at some stage (not always early on either) what they could make money from. They didn’t always enjoy it and they weren’t always that good at it (trust me- several of the most successful people I know are not the best at what they do by a long way but they nearly always have a good work ethic and they don’t mind asking for the higher price- Im going to cover these and a few other mental models in another post)- One of them is a marketer and has made millions from selling waste removal services- he’s never driven a truck or emptied a dumpster by hand but he knows how to find people that need it doing and get someone there to do it for them. He learned his trade as an employee for a bank. He wasnt a marketer at the time but he became one and got good at it. He often says all successful banks do is market themselves better than the rest at their ideal customer.- One of them is a salesman- he can’t market for toffee but he will gladly turn up at peoples stores and restaurants without an invite and get them to buy the ice cream he sells. He then turns up a month later and gets them to buy some more.He drives the freezer van himself and loads the customers freezer by hand. He’s now in his fifties and became a millionaire from it in his early forties. He used the difference between his credit line from his suppliers and his cash on delivery terms with this customers to buy properties in the mid to late 2000’s. He sold some of them at the peak and used the funds to pay some of the others off. He still rents the rest out to this day. He learned his trade from a national wholesale company and left to buy his own first van in his twenties.- One of them is an accountant, a bean counter. He’s bought and sold several businesses- his recent venture was a haulage firm, he’s in his seventies and this is likely his last one. He bought a large share of it with no money of his own down for around a couple of million. He sold off the trucks and leased them back.He used the cash to buy a rival in the lower half of the country and did the same with that one. He then stopped supplying services to the bad payers/ too much hassle accounts and used the spare capacity to do more work for the better ones- He sold his share to a bigger rival a not quite 3 years later and made 2 million profit for himself. He doubled the wealth of the remaining partner in 3 years!His first 20 years of work was schlepping up the ranks of a mid sized accountancy firm.- One of them is a programmer- He used to write/ edit automation software for manufacturing/ oil and gas companies and charged as much as he could on each job. He saved hard and put the money into shares and houses. He became a millionaire in his forties and then sold the company. He now works a few hours here and there and charges 1k a day when he does. He now plays a lot of golf but again spent his first 10 to 15 years working for an employer- skilling up & refining his programming skills.- One of them is a logistics guy that specialises in chemical storing and transport. He started out at the floor level of a chemical company and left about 5 years later to work for one of their customers. Just before he was about to leave he had the idea to suggest to the owner of the company he was going to that he would remortgage his house and put up half the capital to start a small offshoot company providing the service to his new employer but as half owner.The owner agreed and they started the company- basically storing chemicals for theirs and other companies. He also became a millionaire in his late thirties/ early forties. The previous owner and he have started several other ‘offshoots’.He’s uneducated and relies heavily on accountants etc- he’s a logistics guy though and knows it inside out.One of them is an engineer- He’s dyslexic and doesn’t use email/ smart phone etc. He’s just retired after doing his last job on site. Its my pleasure that I was on that job with him and it is to him who I owe a good chunk of gratitude for my own success. Its his business that created the opportunity for me to create mine.He worked hard and charged for it for 4 decades- he’s now hanging up his tools and is living from his stocks, pensions and property income- he is a low singles millionaire. He lives in a small but nice house in a nice area and spends most of the year on holiday with his wife. He’s a very happy guy.His first 15 years were working for others in the mines and steel mills. He started out on his own when one of the big recessions hit (80’s I think) and he was let go. He approached his own mill to work here and there as contractor and did the same with others in the region. He built a steady customer base and served them and others around the country for the next 40 years.I could go on to write about 30 or more people I know either personally or proffessionally (a lot more through business etc) but it would more or less be the same for all of them- they have a strength and use it.The only difference between them and the rest of the people I know is:They know and use their strengths wisely- all of them do this consciously I think.They own the business they work for and hence get to keep the profit margin.They are ‘good workers’. ie They do long days and put work first. They dont hide or shy away from the dog work, they just get it done and out of the way every time.When I see people say things like ‘should I start an amazon/ drop ship/ other ecommerce store’, or should I do pressure washing, should I open a store/ coffee van etc etc etc- My first thought is ‘What about that do you want to do?’If you are thinking of starting something online, I seriously think you could do well with just about any product you cared hard enough about to learn about- but the main point is what skills will you apply to you online business.What you should be thinking about is: What are you personally going to apply to the problem as your own particular advantage. Are you going to be an excellent marketer/ logistics guy/ accountant/ purchaser/ salesman/ engineer etc.You can only do so much yourself so what are you going to do and what are you going to farm out?Choose this ‘skill set’ (or let it choose you over a few years) and take it from there- that’s my advice.

[lulufeca]

Let´s love fanfics masterpost

 Hi, I am doing this because I sometimes I get lost on my own reviews hehehe

1) Girls like dollies 

2) Little Light 

3)  An Unusual Kiss

4) I belong to you

5)  I found a fox, caught by dogs

6) Death of a Salesman 

7)  There is thunder in our hearts

8) Glasnost 

9) Barn burner

10) A ticket to anywhere 

11) All for you 

12) Here you come again

13)  Make love its free

14)  9 to 5

15)  Postal Management

16)  Belle Femme

17)  Milky Way

18)  California Summer series

19)  Honey and Yarrow

20)  Her name is Rio

21)  There’s beauty in a work in progress

22)  The Ghost of Room 203

23)  Little plastic castle

24) Love Shack 

25)  Baby, you a song

26)  Sunshine, and glory too

27) La belle epoque

28)  Bestie

29)  Coffee Grounds

30)  Getting By

31)  Little Pink Dress

32)  Body Like a Back Road

33)  Ruin the Friendship

34)  Pink is a shade of red

35)  Twelve Feet Deep

36)  Coming home 

37)  Say Cheese

38)  Peaches and Cream

39)  High on You

40)  A Night at the Library

41)  Seriously?

42)  The Things Trixie Likes

43)  Welcome to Burlesque

44)  We were born to be free

45)  Whiteridge

46)  Across the Hall

47)  See you around

48)  Closet monster

49)  What Can I Get You?

50)  These Heart Adore

51)  Turns Out, Depression

52)  Saviour

53)  Just Kids

54) The start: a simple touch

55) The knife thrower’s assistant

56)  There’s beauty in a work in progress

57)  Sk8er Girl

58)  Call me an amenity

59)  Contact

60) Here comes the rush before we touch

61)  The limit does not exist (deleted)

62) Hi, I’m The Emotionally Repressed Girl Who Ran From Her Latent Homosexual Feelings for Ten Years, Trixie Mattel!

63) Office Hours

64) Auxiliary

65) Busted Saddles

66)  A Philosophical Anthology of Fucking

67)  Two roads diverged

68) Home Run

69)  Come sail away

70)  Falling too fast

71)  Witching Hours

72)  Rose Soap

73)  Woman’s liberation is a lesbian plot

74)  Are you good?

75)  Church of the Poised Mind

76)  IQ Kitty Stripper X Sugar Mommy Katya

77)  Loving Katya

78)  Hello?

79)  Something new 

80)  Something familiar

81)  I put a spell on you.

82)  woudnt you love to love her?

83)   Under the Mistletoe

84)  Two hearts

85)  One more night

86)  16 reviews of HerGirl14´s fics (some deleted)

87)  Here comes your man

88)  Dinner’s ready

89)  Pretty in Pink

90)  In deep trouble

91)  Barbie Driver

92)  Hush

93)  Ex-Gratia

94)  Nothing wrong with a good woman

95)  They dont make ‘em like they do in the country

96)  Dina’s fun aunt

97)  Dina’s Fun Aunt Holiday Bonus

98)  She Wears Shorts Skirts (I wear them too)

99)  Show you all the bad if you know me

100)  Vanilla

101)  Honey and Smoke

102)  A cactus and a lily find a common pot to grow

103)  Chatterbox

104)  New Year

105)  Rental

106)  Wait for it

107)  Moonlight

108)  Gibraltar

109)  Yellow Flicker Beat

110)  More than you know

111)  Powdermill lane

112)  Take off your pink cowboy boots

113)  Jigsaw ice cream cones

114)  Both hands tied

115)  Home is where you make it

116)  It only takes a taste

117)  Possible, maybe

118)  Follow your arrow

119)  Gone tonight

120)  Like never before

121)  Five foot three