#and 2/3 of the time spent in the air was a waste as we went past outlr destination

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12 hours give it up for 12 hours!

[the-offside-rule]

Oscar Piastri (McLaren) - The Archer

Requested: no

Swift Series

Warnings: none

Oscar stood in the paddock, his eyes glued to the screen showing the live feed of the F2 race. His girlfriend, Y/n, was in pole position, and he could feel his heart pounding with anticipation and pride. The roar of engines filled the air as the race began, and Oscar's eyes never left the screen. Y/n's car surged forward, maintaining her lead through the first few laps. Oscar watched her skillfully navigate the corners, overtaking with precision and grace. He couldn't help but smile, his pride swelling with every turn she mastered. Unfortunately, due to a slow pitstop and the virtual safety car ending early as Y/n went into the pitlane, she lost her first place by quite a few places and found herself down in 4th instead. "Come on." He muttered under his breath, gripping the edge of the pit wall. As the laps counted down, Y/n continued to hold her position, skillfully navigating her way back to the front of the pack.

Lap after lap, Y/n gained positions, her driving flawless. As the final lap approached, the tension was palpable. Oscar's heart raced with the cars on the track. 5 corners to go, under half a second between her and Paul Aron in fromt of her...then 4 corners.....3....2....Finally, on the last corner, she got him, passing him on the outside and soaring towards the chequered flag. When Y/n crossed the finish line in first place, the crowd erupted in cheers, and Oscar's grin widened.

"She did it!" He shouted, jumping up and down. Her team turned to him, hugging and congratulating him and in turn, Oscar done the same. Without wasting a moment, he joined the team in sprinting to parc fermé. As Oscar reached the P1 board, Y/n climbed out of her car, her face beaming with joy and relief but covered by her helmet. The moment she saw Oscar, she ran to him. They collided in a jubilant hug, Oscar scooping her until into his arms as Y/n wrapped hers around his neck, lifting her off the ground. "You were amazing!" Oscar exclaimed, his voice filled with pride. He set her down but didn’t let go, his hands resting on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes. "I don't think I could watch you do a race like that again." He lifted her visor and placed a kiss onto the hard, dirty surface of her head gear.

Y/n laughed, tears of joy glistening in her eyes. "You have to go do this later, no pressure, Oscar." She smiled, taking off her helmet finally and looking to her boyfriend in pure adoration. He cupped her cheeks in his hands, now being able to kiss her lips. He pulled away, his face scrunching. "What." She asked. "You need chapstick." Y/n slapped his chest playfully. "I'm kidding, but not really." He winked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "How about a photo of the happy couple?" One of the McLaren photographers offered. They shared a look. "Come on, honey. Pose for the camera." As Y/n's hand rested on Oscar's chest, he placed a kiss onto her temple. She could feel his smile on her skin as the cameras capturing the tender moment between the two drivers. "Beautiful." The photographer smiled. "Not to be a buzz kill but Oscar, you need to head soon, mate." Oscar sighed. "You won't stay for the podium?" She questioned, wiping the sweat from her forehead and placing her cap onto her head. "I'm gonna try stay as long as I can, but you know J can't be late to another team briefing. I'll be fined again."

"Well, it was my fault you were late to the briefing last time. I wouldn't want you to be late again." She grinned, remembering a few weeks before where her and Oscar were both late to their briefings when they spent a little too long in the shower that morning. "You sure I can go?" He asked. "I can try stay a little-"

"Bo, I insist. You go get ready so we can both celebrate this later." His heart skipped a beat at her words. "How'd I get so lucky?" They shared another kiss before Oscar bid her farewell and Y/n turned her attention to the post race interviews and fellow podium place holders.

---

Y/n watched on from the back of the McLaren garage. She didn't know how she still had finger nails left since she had been nibbling mervously on them from the start when Oscar lost positions for having a slow start. Since then, the race only seemed to get worse. Midway through the race, while battling for position with Sainz, their cars had made contact with one another, sending him into a spin whilst Sainz went on to race with little to no damage. He crashed into the barriers, his car coming to a sudden, jarring stop. Y/n's eyes went wide, and she froze. She was sure she had flatlined at this stage. Oscar didn't really crash very often, so this was a very scarce feeling she had.

The safety team was quick to respond, and Oscar climbed out of his car, shaken but unharmed. Disappointment washed over him as he made his way towards the Aston Martin parked nearby. His dreams of at least finishing with points today now crumbled. Y/n breathed a sigh of relief as the commentator announced he was fine. She took off her headphones promptly and made her wag towards the medical centre, eager to see her boyfriend as soon as possible. Y/n leaned against the wall as the medical car pulled up. "Oscar?" She called as the door opened. Her boyfriend held his arm, letting out an agitated sigh. "Are you alright?" She asked, walking towards him. "Yeah, just a bit sore. I'm alright, darling." He smiled, reassuring her that everything was alright. "Do you reckon it's broken?" Oscar shook his head. "Nah, wouldn't say so. You should go back and watch the race. The team is gonna be happy, Lando is set to win."

"How about I'll catch up with you in the hospitality?" Oscar smiled. "That's sounds perfect. Give me a kiss before I head in." Y/n leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'll see you later." She whispered. "Course you will. I'll be quick." He watched as she walked off, every so often looking back, until Oscar disappeared into the medical centre.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Oscar sighed as he opened the door to his driver room. He looked around at the familiar setting. He looked at the family photos up on his wall, the Aussie flag pinned up, his exercise bands sprawled out over his physio table. He clenched his eyes shut, leaning on the edge of the bench, his head in his hands. The door creaked open, and he looked up to see Y/n standing there, concern etched on her face. She crossed the room quickly, kneeling in front of him. "Hi." She said softly, placing a hand on his knee. "How did it go?" He sat up trying to make himself look less defeated than he was, though the frustration and disappointment were clear in his eyes. "I've sprained my wrist, but it should be fine by the time the summer break is over." He smiled. Y/n looked between his eyes. "And are you okay?" He thought for a moment. "Yeah, just -" Oscar paused before groaning and hiding in his hands again. "It's just not the way I wanted it to go. You got your win, and now you're not gonna celebrate because I messed up my race." Y/n wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a comforting embrace. "That's not- Oscar, I don't celebrate my wins. I literally get on a plane and come back home to you." She laughed, rubbing his back. "You're having a bad day, sk we can have today be bad, and we will celebrate with breakfast tomorrow morning in Monaco."

"Sounds nice." Oscar sighed, leaning into her embrace. "I just wanted to do well today." She pulled away from the hug, cupping his face in her hands. "And you did. You have been perfect all season, and this is just one race. You've had bad days before, and you've always come back fighting. Today was my turn to win, and at the next race week, it'll be yours again." He managed a small smile, her words easing the sting of disappointment. "Thank you, darling. I needed that." She kissed the tip of his nose, her touch feeling calming and comforting, exactly what he needed at that moment. "How about you finish your interviews and get out of here. We'll get a Maccies at the airport." He arched a brow. "Since when do you say Maccies?" He chuckled. "I don't know, I just started saying it a while ago." He shook his head. "Yeah, all thanks to me." Oscar pulled her close, holding onto her as if she were his lifeline. "I love you." He whispered, his eyes filled with adoration and warmth. "I love you too, baby."

[batty4steddie]

Written with @spicycinnabun ❤️️ | Rating: M | cw, read, kudos and comment on ao3 | We have a playlist. 🦇 | Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Can I Keep It?

Chapter 7: Bad Vampire!

Eddie stepped on the gas and took them back towards Lover’s Lake, turning up the music so they could drown their thoughts. Skull Rock was close to Rick’s house, which was funny in a not-so-funny way because Eddie had spent all weekend wishing he was far away from it, and now he was right back. Eddie had spent many a night in these woods, but never for pleasure like Steve. Eddie went purely for business. Horny teenagers were good customers. 

Rock music flooded Steve’s ears. He didn’t mind. It was nice. Steve looked at Eddie for a long moment. The moonlight reflected off his pale skin, highlighting his long, milky neck. It was completely bare; Eddie was still in disguise, his hair pulled back. He was absolutely glowing, and Steve could feel his mouth watering. He quickly turned his attention back out the open window. The breeze brought in a variety of scents, which felt a little less overwhelming than how good Eddie smelled to him. Steve took another deep breath of fresh air.

Fifteen minutes later, Eddie pulled the beemer into the cozy spot multiple tires had sat in before, the grass yellowing in two straight lines. The familiar skull-shaped rock was lit by the car’s head beams, emphasizing the shadowy caverns of its eye sockets and making it look even more Halloweenish than usual.  

What was he thinking, going into the woods alone with a hungry, possessed vampire? Was he stupid? Yes, Eddie’s brain supplied for him immediately, very stupid. But would the guy who’d taken Eddie home, comforted him, and fed him his mother’s cooking really kill him?  

…Maybe, maybe not, but his instincts said no. His gut said no. It had been right about a thousand times before.

Eddie turned down the music, figuring it was probably best they didn’t make too much noise out here. Who knew who, or what, was listening, waiting, or watching. Ugh. “Maybe you can sink your fangs into the raccoon population terrorizing the trailer park,” he suggested. “My uncle’s been unsuccessful in dwindling their numbers so far.”  

Wayne’s attempts consisted of a bunch of broken traps and a lot of cursing. Mostly about all the bullets he would have to waste to kill the damn things. Eddie personally thought they were cute. Tiny trash bandits waving their little hands around and screaming at people who came near their treasure. Their homes had to be in the forest, right? Not only in the dumpster behind his favorite Chinese restaurant, Wok My World. 

As soon as Steve turned his head back in Eddie’s direction, Eddie’s scent invaded his nostrils again. He flared them, trying to stop the excitement that began to pump through him. It felt like he was here on a date, about to get laid. He wished. The bite on his neck started throbbing, and his pulse quickened. He was beginning to feel aroused. 

Eddie’s suggestion distracted him momentarily. However, the thought of munching on raccoons wasn’t appealing to Steve at all. “They’re too cute to eat.” 

Steve kind of thought Eddie had a cute raccoon quality. He was going to have a hard time with this. He didn’t want to get out of the car, and he didn’t want to be a vampire. 

“Too bad,” Steve heard. Not from Eddie but from inside his head. Like somebody was invading his mind. Steve knew that voice. It was the one and only and very dead, Billy Hargrove. He was doing this? “Harrington, I think you have a little crush on someone, don’t ya?”   

Eddie raised his brows, oblivious. “You’re going to have a hard time finding anything to eat if you think all the animals in the forest are cute.” He poked his tongue out the corner of his mouth. “Maybe you should eat me instead?” 

Eddie wasn’t cute. He probably wasn’t delicious either, but he had to be easier to swallow than raccoons and bunnies. 

Eddie expected Steve to laugh or roll his eyes in that semi-fond, semi-irritated way like he did with the kids (because maybe, just maybe, Eddie was growing on him the same way they had). Instead, he zoned out, expression taking on an eerily dormant quality—lights on but nobody home. Eddie’s smile fell. 

“No!” Steve suddenly yelled, his upper body jerking, expression contorting like he was in pain. A few seconds later, he went limp, head dropping to his chest.   Steve wasn’t saying no about his little crush because he couldn’t even contemplate that… that he had a crush on Eddie. He couldn’t believe Billy was back either—from the dead and currently controlling his entire body. He didn’t want that. Internally, he was pitching a fit; thrashing his body around, growling, foaming at the mouth and throwing punches.

“Sweet baby Jesus, what now? ” said Eddie, almost exasperated by the stress. His stomach felt like it shrivelled to the size of a pea. He reached out, tentatively placing his hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve only swayed a little; a puppet with its strings cut. “Stevie?” 

Eddie didn’t know what to do. Shake him, slap him, yell at him?  

Steve re-animated just as Eddie started shaking him, lifting his head and rolling his shoulders, dislodging Eddie’s hand from him. His eyes were liquid black, and his face transformed with a smirk. It was a twisted, serpentine thing. Somehow, it didn’t look like it belonged on Steve’s face. It looked like someone else was wearing his face. Possession. “Wrong. It’s kind of pathetic, don’t you think? What you’re doing right now.”  

Eddie gaped. That was Steve’s voice, but it also wasn’t. It had a cruel, mocking quality that didn’t fit Harrington. Not the version Eddie was starting to get to know.  

“I saw everything that happened in his bedroom back there. Do you really think pretty boy is interested in you like that? I mean, even if he does swing that way occasionally, freak meat isn’t what he goes for. ” Not-Steve laughed, and that sounded wrong too. Overly theatrical and biting.  

It didn’t stop Eddie from turning a deep red. Mortified at being outed so casually, angry at being spied on by a fucking Upside Down wizard. At least he wasn’t scared anymore. “Who the fuck are you? Vecna? Get out of Steve!” 

Outside, an owl hooted—the who, who, whooo taunted Eddie in a way that was too coincidental. 

Not-Steve bit his lip in amusement, rolling his eyes. “I can’t claim that title, but maybe one day. I’m someone else.” He shrugged. “And no, I don’t think I will. I’m enjoying being inside him. Wouldn’t be the first time, if you get my drift.” 

While Eddie tried to figure that out—was this someone who knew Steve? Had... been with Steve? Somebody Vecna had killed? Was Not-Steve a woman or a man? That comment made it seem more likely it was a man. He was also getting major douchebag vibes. “Dude, that is incredibly disrespectful.”  

Yeah, this was no powerful wizard. More like a minion of Vecna’s, just like Steve had suggested.  

Steve was having an out-of-body experience. Completely paralyzed and unlike in the convenience store where he had blacked out (that must’ve been Billy, too), Steve was conscious. He was there, in the Upside Down, with Billy, but also still in the car with Eddie. He could see Billy talking to him but also see himself with Eddie. Billy’s ability to read Steve was uncomfortably uncanny. Billy had always seen right through Steve, and now he was reading Eddie like a book and using Steve to do it.  

Billy looked the same. He was the same gorgeous asshole with perfectly tussled curly hair, smug shit-eating grin, barely buttoned red shirt, in the tightest jeans that gave Steve’s a run for his money—all topped with his signature leather jacket. 

Steve felt utterly violated and spied on, and the comment about Billy having been in him before made him feel queasy. He’d never been in him. Sure, Billy had been on him before, by elbow checking him, grinding against him just to push him down when he hadn’t planted his feet like Billy insisted he did when they were playing basketball and again when they were outside the Byers’. 

Billy had gotten something out of taunting Steve and roughing him up. When he’d finally and rightfully socked Billy in the mouth, it was like that had turned him on. Billy had liked it, and it was like he had been waiting for it. 

The version of King Steve everyone talked about was the basketball captain, the good-looking great fighter and keg king with a perfect family. Billy was desperately trying to become king and take all of his titles. Only none of them were up for grabs. The title of king still belonged to Steve. 

Steve could be dense, but with the way Billy looked at him and flirted with him by calling him pretty boy more than once, Steve had thought Billy was queer. When Billy had straddled him, fighting him, Steve could’ve sworn Billy had been hard, but Billy had thrown a few good punches to make Steve loopy.     Steve didn’t want to think about if the kids hadn’t been there or if Max hadn’t stabbed Billy in the neck with the tranquillizer. If they had been alone, Billy could have gotten a couple more hits in and knocked Steve out. 

Maybe Billy was talking about a sick fantasy he had been planning when he said it wasn’t the first time he’d been inside Steve. 

“Maybe we should eat him,” Not-Steve mused, not talking to Eddie anymore but to the car at large. Or so it seemed until he added, “What do you think, pretty boy? He’s like cafeteria food. Not hot or appetizing, but he is cheap and available.” 

Eddie spluttered. “I am not!”  

“I would say I'm sorry if I thought that it would change your mind, but I know that this time I have said too much, been too unkind…”  

Steve’s guilty pleasure song, Boys Don’t Cry, came over the car’s radio. 

Steve didn’t want to eat Eddie. He couldn’t even bring himself to eat Thumper or Bambi. “Fuck no, I’m not going to eat him. He’s more Bambi than Bambi—the most doe-eyed guy I’ve ever seen,” Steve said, and suddenly he could speak and was very much back in his body and out of the Upside Down. 

If Steve weren’t a vampire, he would’ve turned red because he had just told Eddie, and not Billy, that he wouldn’t eat him because he thought he was cuter than Bambi. Fuck was right. 

Eddie was still trying to recover from being compared to the slop they served in the school cafeteria when Not-Steve’s eyes drained of their demonic color. Not-Steve had left the building (body), and this time, it was very clearly Real-Steve who had spoken. 

Bambi. That was a new one. Of all the things people had called him, some even downright creative with their nastiness, nobody had ever compared him to a Disney character before. Doe-eyed. Did Steve really think his eyes were doe-y?  

While his face wasn’t burning with embarrassment, Steve dropped his gaze because he still felt it. He hated Billy, hated that he was right about their feelings. He didn’t like being used as a puppet and to accuse Eddie of anything. 

Steve could tell by Eddie’s gaze lingering a little longer on him that Eddie liked him, but Steve liked that. He liked being liked, and he’d been enamored with Eddie, too. Steve looked down at his hand as he flexed his fingers, happy not to be paralyzed anymore and in control of himself for now, skull ring glimmering on his ring finger. 

The loaded silence stretched between them as the song continued, “So I try to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies. I try to laugh about it…”  

Eddie broke the tension with a nervous laugh, twisting one of his rings around his finger. Steve looked like Steve again, which was a relief—such an immense relief, even, that Eddie had to stop himself from jumping over the console and throwing his arms around him. He fiddled with his rings more. “Fuck, well, that was a trip. You okay? The… that thing isn’t still inside you listening, is it? You got it to scram?” 

Eddie’s voice got Steve to look up. “I’m okay, but I… I don’t know.” Steve felt alright—a little dehydrated, but that was it, and surprisingly, he didn’t feel like Billy had been in him in any way. “That thing was Billy Hargrove. Max’s brother, if you remember him from school. He’s such a motherfucker.” No pun intended since he probably slept with at least half of the housewives in Hawkins. “I thought he was dead. I hope he’s not listening or going to do that again, but knowing him, he likes to fuck with me. Think that was him back at the store, so that’s the second time he’s used me.” 

Billy Hargrove. That name rang a bell. Eddie’s gaze darkened briefly. He felt a surge of protectiveness for Steve. “I remember Hargrove.”  

Two years ago, when he transferred to Hawkins High, Billy Hargrove had been the name on everyone’s lips. The Californian Adonis who’d rocked up in a blue Camaro, guns blazing. Eddie had met him. Had a begrudging appreciation for the style and theatrics and had been unwillingly entranced by the pretty face, but that was where any admiration ended. The guy couldn’t have been more of a sexist pig if he tried, and he’d banded together with Tommy Hagan, which explained more than enough about his character.  

Knowing that was who was possessing Steve was just the worst fucking thing. Yuck. Just. Yuck. 

Steve swallowed. He’d pushed a lot down that Billy had brought right back up for him. At the time, he had been trying to make it work with Nancy, and had been fucking up in school, and there came Billy, the good-looking bully, who’d tried to take over his whole persona. Steve had been frustrated for more than a couple of reasons. 

“I’m sorry he talked to you like that, I wouldn’t… he didn’t, you know… he was lying.” It wasn’t like Steve cared much about his reputation, but he wouldn’t let that go. No matter how he swung, he didn’t swing that way for Billy. 

Eddie’s eyes widened. His insides squirmed, screaming at the fact that his thing for Steve was now hanging awkwardly between them, and Steve was fully aware of it. Great. That was just fucking great. At least Steve didn’t seem too disgusted. It didn’t seem like he was about to throw Eddie a knuckle sandwich. But maybe he was still in shock from being fucking possessed two minutes ago.  

“No, yeah, no, I didn’t think so,” he reassured Steve quickly. “Demons are notorious liars, man.”  

And that was what Billy now was: a demon who had possessed Steve like Regan in The Exorcist, thankfully without the head spinning and projectile pea soup.  

Of course that asshole had been lying. Eddie was glad Billy had never been with Steve that way, but if Steve had occasionally swung in his direction, that would have been… ideal was a creepy word to use, but it would have been nice, maybe. Steve wasn’t interested in him—that was clear as day—but to know another dude who was also interested in other dudes would have been refreshing. There were only two people Eddie was aware of who leaned the same way as he did, and they were— 

Steve’s back went ramrod straight, catching Eddie’s attention. His body language mirrored Steve as he followed Steve’s stare and caught sight of the bushes in front of the car’s head beams rustling ominously. Eddie was almost relieved for the next bout of fuckery about to be laid upon them, if only to escape this conversation.  

That was until three letterman jackets appeared, one belonging to Hawkins’ very own basketball star and Chrissy’s loving, devoted boyfriend, Jason Carver. It sure was impressive, the way he’d carried on with his Mr. Faithful schtick after he’d let Eddie jerk him off. So devoted. 

Eddie’s messed up heart decided to start booming over twisted feelings instead of the actual alarming problem at hand, which was that one of the jocks was holding a baseball bat, and they all had bloody murder in their eyes.  

“Shit,” Eddie muttered. He tried to restart the car but fumbled the keys. They dropped from the ignition and hit the floor with a jingle. “Christ, damn it!” 

Eddie folded himself sideways to disappear from view, inadvertently placing his head in Steve’s lap. The lights hopefully blinded the jocks enough that they hadn’t seen him. 

Here, Steve had been worried that his dick wouldn’t work as a vampire, but the second he felt Eddie’s nose graze his cock through the fabric of his jeans, it started to stir. Thankfully, it was very much alive, but Steve didn’t want to find out like this by accident. Eddie’s head was in a place he wanted it to be, but before his mind could go there and make him cream his jeans, Jason fucking Carver appeared. 

Carver and his gang were already charging toward them as Eddie scrounged on the floor for the stupid keys. 

“Harrington!” Jason called, obviously having recognized the beemer the closer he got. He stopped by Steve’s window, which was still open from earlier. Eddie froze. “Hey, have you seen that little freak, Eddie Munson? We’re looking for him. He killed Chrissy.”  

Steve’s eyes narrowed. Jason was talking to him like they were good friends. That always annoyed him because they were never friends. Jason was a little too perfect, always in his letterman jacket, like there wasn’t anything beyond basketball and Chrissy. 

Eddie held his breath, staring at the close-up fibers of Steve’s jeans. He still had the flimsy disguise on, but the sunglasses were slipping down his nose, and he knew from the soft intake of breath up above that Jason had realized he was there.  

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interru…”  

Eddie’s sunglasses fell to the floor. 

There was a long, horrifying pause. “… Munson,” Jason spat. 

Suddenly, Eddie was being yanked up by his ponytail and dragged out of the open window. Jason must have been eating his Wheaties because that fucking hurt. Eddie yowled like an alley cat, twisting wildly to free himself, but Jason still had his hair in a tight grip and the collar of Eddie’s jacket in the other. He felt Steve’s vice grip lock around his legs, keeping him from being yanked out completely. Jason’s bare arm was right beside his face, sleeve shoved up from the scuffle. Eddie growled and did the only thing he could think of, taking a page out of Steve’s new book by opening his mouth and biting Jason’s arm hard until he tasted metal. 

Steve heard teeth breaking flesh and then immediately smelled blood. Fresh fucking blood. His fangs emerged. He had to have it. 

Crack! Eddie let go as a burning pain lanced through his cheek. Carver had just bitch slapped him. Blood dripped into Eddie’s teeth as he was pulled back into the car. 

He was a little dazed, but when he locked eyes with Steve, he must have started fucking hallucinating. Steve looked monstrous again, eyes red and black veins practically popping from his skin. He had a rabid hunger and anger on his face, staring fixedly at Eddie’s lips.  “Gonna make him pay,” Steve promised. 

Eddie’s eyes dropped to Steve’s lips as they released their vengeful threat. Steve rubbed Eddie’s cheek with his thumb, then leaned in and kissed the blood right off Eddie’s lips. It didn’t last more than a second. Steve’s cold lips hitting his, his growing fangs poking Eddie and making him let out a small whimper. Then it was over, and Steve was licking Jason’s blood off like he’d just enjoyed a delectable treat.  

Steve immediately wanted more: blood, kisses and sweet revenge.

He let go and threw open the car door, hitting Jason with it. He got out and shut the door behind him to keep Eddie safe. With Jason on the ground, his lackeys came out of the woods, but it was too late. 

Steve had just kissed him. Eddie sat there, dumbfounded and still processing that, as Steve bolted out of the car and attacked Jason. Once again, his speed was immeasurable. Eddie’s heart pounded as he stared out the now-closed window. Steve was straddling Jason, hunched over his body, the same mouth he had just kissed Eddie with attached to Jason’s wrist and drinking his blood. 

Unlike Larry’s, Steve didn’t mind Jason’s blood. It was sweet and tangy, kinda like the orange sauce on orange chicken. Steve watched the light in Jason’s eyes fade as he drained him. It excited him that the evil bully was circling the drain. It was satisfying for a reason that Steve couldn’t put his finger on. He felt no remorse, surprisingly, since he was sound mind and body for this kill.

Drinking Jason’s blood was something he wanted to do, had to do, to protect Eddie and satisfy his vampiric needs. He didn’t regret it all. He was proud and full of sweet ‘n sour vampire fuel. There was little to no mess this time. Steve let Jason’s limp arm fall and punched him in the face for good measure. 

Steve was back in the car before Eddie could decide, once again, what the fuck he was supposed to do about the situation. The other jocks were white as sheets. They looked at what had happened to their leader, looked at each other, and then booked it, running in the opposite direction. Not very loyal lackeys, Eddie thought faintly. 

“Got him back for you.” Steve grinned at him, pleased as punch. 

And it was almost endearing. His fangs were stained like he’d just been eating a cherry popsicle. Eddie felt the absurd instinct to pat him on the head and call him a good vamp.  

“You… did,” answered Eddie slowly, fighting the weirdest combination of emotions known to man: terror mixed with dread mixed with affection mixed with heart-fluttering flattery.  

Eddie still seemed to be in shock, so Steve started the car for him. “In case Jason pulls a Larry, let’s fucking go!”

Eddie shook himself. “Steve, you’re not thinking straight. You’re really not thinking straight, buddy.” You kissed me! You killed Jason Carver! Killing Jason was actually the more likely thing to happen compared to Steve kissing him. It was just the blood on Eddie’s lips that he had been after. He’s a fucking vampire, Eddie reminded himself. And then, for the fifteenth time that day, he screamed at his mind to focus on the real problem. “You know what? Let’s go to the cemetery. There’s nobody with blood there to be in danger of those chompers.”  

Except for Eddie, but now that Steve was full of… Jason, he probably didn’t need any more blood—at least for a while. 

As they backed out of Lover’s Lake, Jason rose to his knees, mouth opening wide. The headlights caught his new fangs and black hole eyes. Eddie stepped on the gas and turned the wheel, tires squealing as they got out of there. 

“Maybe there isn’t anything straight about me anymore,” Steve said quietly. Steve’s skin warmed up full of tasty blood, and his darker veins dissipated slightly. His eyes went back to their normal honey-tan color. Steve had gone from a normal guy to a bloodsucking killer. “Technically, I’m not even human anymore.” 

It was laughable and a lot, not just for him but for Eddie. He wasn’t sure why Eddie hadn’t run away from him when he’d turned in the convenience store. Now, he suggested they go to the graveyard. If he weren’t a vampire, that would’ve given him the creeps. 

Eddie blinked hard but didn’t suddenly wake up in his bed, so he wasn’t dreaming. Had Steve just told him he wasn’t straight? There was no way. This had to be Hargrove’s influence. He was fucking with Steve, had control of his body and now his thoughts and feelings too. “Tell me that again after we’ve reversed this curse, and maybe I’ll believe you.” 

Steve wasn’t sure what Eddie was referencing. He revealed something that Eddie didn’t believe, but he wasn’t lying about anything. That left him feeling miffed. 

Eddie cleared his throat and continued, “I don’t think the police will check the boneyard. They’re gonna be after you now, too.” Especially as soon as Carver’s buddies squealed about what had just happened. “We need to get your Ghostbuster gang together to figure out how to fix you, stat.” 

Eddie wasn’t too worried about Steve biting his friends. So far, it only seemed to be the people who angered Steve that got fang-banged by him. (People who insulted Eddie and tried to hurt Eddie, but Steve probably would have fang-banged anybody to defend them, not just Eddie.) The trick was to keep Steve away from people who triggered his knightly instincts.

Steve couldn’t tell if Eddie was happy with him or not. Maybe Eddie feared him. He had just killed Jason, kind of. Temporarily stopped him from killing Eddie was a more accurate description. Also, drinking blood had finally satisfied Steve’s thirst. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he had become for blood and Eddie. Kissing him had felt like the most natural thing. And Eddie had done something that excited Steve. Biting Jason and drawing his blood had been really fucking hot. 

Steve wasn’t trying to hide that he liked Eddie back.  He thought he’d made it clear by kissing and protecting him. 

“Do you think we can find an empty coffin for me to hang out in when it becomes daylight?” Steve asked with a smirk, reaching down to grab his sunglasses from the floor. He put them on. “It’s a myth about the sunlight, right? The sun is gonna come up soon, so maybe you won’t have to worry about me eating you. Or do you think these shades will protect me?” 

Eddie glanced at the sky. It was turning a golden orange. The sun was minutes away from coming up. He knew Steve was joking but answered thoughtfully, “An aversion to garlic was supposed to be a myth, too, so I think we should be careful. Try to avoid it.” There wouldn’t be any empty coffins, but if things got bad, Eddie guessed they’d have to stick Steve in the trunk or something. He added, “Call me crazy, but I’m not worried about you hurting me. I trust you.”

That was the God’s honest truth, and Eddie was probably a lunatic for it, but he felt safe with Steve. It was the whacked-out supernatural forces he didn’t trust, not Harrington. What was happening to Steve wasn’t Steve’s fault.

Eddie’s answer was logical. Steve hadn’t been too worried. He was worried enough to bring it up, but at the reminder of what the garlic had done, he took the sun coming up more seriously. He hadn’t felt pain since the garlic jerky burnt his fingertips. He couldn’t imagine what the sun would do until they saw it themselves. 

Steve looked at Eddie. He noticed that Eddie’s hair tie was barely hanging on, so he reached out and took the elastic off.  “How’s your head?” Steve asked, having forgotten how violent Jason had gotten with him. His cheek was still really red. Steve gently ran his fingers through Eddie’s hair to detangle it. It felt really soft, probably thanks to his shampoo. He sunk his fingers into the top to rub Eddie’s scalp, knowing it was probably sore and tender. “I liked it when your head was in my lap. We could’ve put on a show if he hadn’t noticed it was you.” 

Focusing on the road was getting a little tricky, what with the lack of sleep, but Eddie didn’t lose focus entirely until he felt Steve’s fingers in his hair. His claws had retracted so Eddie could feel Steve’s soft fingertips grazing his scalp. He hadn’t been paying attention to the pain in his scalp, too caught up in adrenaline, but his hair follicles were screaming now with the attention brought to them, so the soothing touch made him make an embarrassing sound. It could’ve been something close to a moan, but then Steve had to get Billyfied again, and Eddie’s brain imploded.

The car veered dangerously off the road and onto the shoulder for a few seconds before he pulled it back on track.

Steve growled and bit back the urge to pull Eddie’s hair for that stunt. “Dude! Be careful with my car, would ya!” He let go so they could get to the cemetery without crashing. 

“I was being careful until you molested my head!” Eddie snapped, losing his cool and white-knuckling the steering wheel. “Quit distracting me! And quit… flirting! ”

“That wasn’t what I was doing.” Molesting Eddie’s head. Wow. Steve was just trying to make Eddie feel better. He was taken aback at being told to stop flirting, too. Jesus Christ. He wasn’t the one that almost took them off the road. 

Now, both of Eddie’s cheeks were scarlet, not just the one Carver had slapped. Eddie was used to being the flirty one, the inappropriate one, the I will make you uncomfortable before you make me uncomfortable one. He didn’t know what to do with this openly flirtatious, straight but not acting straight jock.

And then there was the whole consent issue because Steve was under the influence. It was rapey of Eddie to like that comment, to like that kiss, to like Steve at all. It was fucking with both his head and his heart, dear lord. So no, neither of them were doing very well right now, thank you.

Eddie took the next turn aggressively, going over the curb. 

If looks could kill, Steve’s narrowed eyes would’ve gotten the job done. A dirty look would do since telling Eddie to be careful hadn’t gone over well. 

The sun had started to rise, and with their new direction, the glare was very close to hitting their windshield. Just when Eddie thought things couldn’t get worse, he saw smoke up ahead. “Is that a fire?”

He leaned forward, and yeah, those were flames, but the closer they got, the more human-shaped those flames became until it became very clear that somebody was walking along the side of the road, on fire. 

Eddie hit the brakes hard, making them both jerk forward. He hesitated instead of getting out of the car to help because this person wasn’t screaming or acting panicked like a normal person on fire would. They were calmly, sluggishly walking as their flesh melted off. Eddie rolled down his window.

“ GRRRUUUUUUHHHHH….” 

Eddie rolled the window back up, cutting off the crackling groan. “That is barbecued vampire bacon right there.”

The sunlight was slowly creeping into the car. It reached Steve’s collarbone. “Shit, Steve!” Without thinking much beyond preventing Steve from being flambeed, Eddie reached out and yanked Steve sideways out of the line of fire. Steve’s face hit his lap.

What they saw out Eddie’s open window was horrifying. A zombified vampire was on fire. Was Steve going to spontaneously burst into flames and go up into dust, too? Not on Eddie’s watch, apparently. Steve wasn’t sure what the fuck Eddie was doing to him or why his head suddenly needed to be buried in his lap. This was comical. 

“Who’s molesting who now?” Steve snarked as he got comfy. Maybe if he just went to sleep here in Eddie’s lap, the sun wouldn’t make him go up in flames. 

Eventually, he felt the sun on his legs, and he didn’t feel like he was burning. So, was he going to be okay? “Do you think me going down on you is the antidote or something?” Steve smirked and started to undo Eddie’s belt. Something about being a well-fed vampire was making Steve horny. Surely, Eddie wasn’t going to let him get his pants open, but Steve was going to try. He thought it was a grand invitation.

Eddie spluttered. “Do I—Jesus Christ, no .” If Eddie’s dick had magical vampiric healing properties, that would be too good to be true. There was the sound of metal clinking and—

“ Steven. Bad vampire!” Eddie smacked Steve’s hand away from his pants. The little fanger had actually gotten Eddie’s belt open and was starting on his zipper. Eddie didn’t know if Steve was short for Steven, but it felt right. “When I said you could eat me earlier, I meant the blood in my neck, not there. ”

Well, also there, but Steve wasn’t supposed to actually take him up on it. Billyfied Steve was really testing Eddie’s sanity. Eddie gripped the wheel so he didn’t do something stupid like bury his hands in Steve’s beautifully luscious-looking hair and say, “Let’s try and find out, shall we?” 

How was he supposed to survive? Hell, he’d take facing Vecna over this sort of personal torture.

Steven, ugh, that sounded like his mom was getting after him. Steve had to laugh when it was followed up with a bad vampire and a smack to his hand. Steve stopped and moved said hand out of the way, letting Eddie do his pants back up. 

Eddie didn’t trust himself yet to step on the gas pedal again, too busy willing himself not to get the world’s most inappropriate boner by thinking of sad and gross things like dead kittens and that time he accidentally walked in on Wayne in the tub.

That worked, thank God.

Eddie defended himself. “I’m not a creep like that, man.” Steve had to know he wasn’t about to take advantage of him in his current state. He didn’t know what sort of impression Steve had of him by now, but he would never sink to that level of grody human trash. “I was just trying to keep you from being turned into a fucking fanglet mignon. The sun almost grilled you through the window just now.”

There was sunlight on Steve’s legs, but his jeans must have protected his skin because nothing was happening. “There are some big shade trees at the cemetery we can sit under. Just stay down until we make it, okay? Or hide in the fucking back seat."

That was a way safer option for all parties. Eddie continued to scold him, totally killing Steve’s blood buzz. He hadn’t had anyone stop him or complain when he took their pants off before. He seriously considered biting Eddie’s thigh through his jeans just to shut him up. Steve shifted off Eddie’s lap but stayed low like he suggested.  “When I need blood again, I’m taking you up on your initial offer. I just thought we could’ve had a little fun after the day we’ve had. Since you’re not like that or into having my mouth on you, I’m gonna keep it off you.” Steve’s good mood was quickly dissipating. He climbed into the backseat, deciding that some space between them would be good. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling as Eddie started the car. 

Eddie’s stomach gave a little jolt, his eyebrows crinkling in instant regret. He bit his lip. Oh, how fucking wrong Steve was. But Steve was also overridden by lusty Billy-infused vampire hormones right now. He didn’t know what he was saying. He would get over it pretty quickly once he was regular Steve again. He would probably be disgusted by everything he’d said and done toward Eddie. There was no way these were his true feelings.

And besides, maybe Eddie wanted to be more than just a little fun. He’d been the experimental fun for Carver, and look how well that had turned out. Maybe he wanted to be… You know what? It didn’t matter because this wasn’t happening. Steve would thank him later for preventing it.

It was a bit awkward since it was on the floor near him, but Eddie reached back and grabbed a pack of strawberry Big League Chew from the basket, keeping his gaze far away from Steve’s after he noticed an honest-to-God, actual pout gracing the guy’s lips like he’d been denied his favorite toy. (And that was so cute it was fucking unfair.)

Eddie tore the pack open, shoving the entire contents into his mouth so it would be occupied and wouldn’t run off on all the ways Steve was wrong about him not being like that or not into having his mouth. Eddie scrunched the bubblegum wrapper in his fist and chewed his frustration out until they got to the cemetery.

[seabreeze2022]

The Bahamas May 2024, part 1.

Yoga on the foredeck while waiting for a weather window.

This year we would only spent one month in The Bahamas. In the past we have spent 3 months there at a time. With less time available we prioritized visiting Cat Island and Conception Island. On May 2 we casted off lines in the afternoon and motor sailed to Tavernier Key. Boat seemed sluggish and we got there too late to dive the bottom. Woke up early on the 4th before daylight. Struggled to the reef. Engine was overheating, speed was only a couple of knots. It looked like a 24-36 hour crossing instead of the normal 12. So we aborted the trip just after day break. Next weather window was in 2 days.

Here Nancy is scrubbing the bottom of the hull. While waiting for the next weather window we checked the bottom of the hull. In a months time it had grown so many worms and barnacles on the prop and hull it could not sail more than 3 knots. So we used paint scrapers to clean the hull and prop.

When we left on the 5th it was a normal speed. Looking at a 12 hour 75 mile crossing of the Gulf Stream to South Riding Rock.

Nancy working on her refrigerator. I am not allowed to open the lid. When you open the lid and don’t know where everything is, you are wasting precious cold air. Nancy has to rotate the frozen foods every two days.

May 5 th we are off 2 hours before sunrise to South Riding Rock. We have a great crossing with calm seas. This late in the season there are no Crawish traps in the water. Great mental relief not worrying about wrapping one around our prop in the dark.

About 15 miles prior to the nearest land in The Bahamas a small wren flies aboard and heads for the V-berth. Just like last years bird it does not survive.

The first night Nancy stays at the helm till midnight and we anchor on The Bahama bank near Russel Bank. A bit sloppy overnight but we survived. We could see the glow of light from Bimini 45 miles away. The next day we anchored off of Great Harbor Cay in the afternoon. Then the next morning we went to the Great Harbor Cay Marina to check in for Customs. Customs here primarily takes care of the cruise ships with its thousands of people. So they were very slow to show up and a bit haughty when they did. Again the Bahama islands with the most tourist interaction are bit of a negative. Once I was through with Customs everything brightened up. The marina is small and quiet. Freddy the dock hand never stops talking and is very opinionated. I can only take him for limited time. “Fettuccine” is anything but small. He is a fixture around the dock. Nancy ended up buying a dozen frozen cleaned Conch for $60 from him.

Sunrise in the protected marina. Air conditioning was wonderful. Today we borrowed the marina bikes and rode to the south side of the island. Nancy had procured our Aliv phone card so we were back in business.

With the weather showing light winds for a few days. We top off the diesel tank on the way out of the harbor on the 10th.

Rounding the north end of the island we pass two cruise ships docked at “Coco Cay.” Poor people think they are seeing The Bahamas. But they never get to see the real Out Islands or the people.

This is The Bahamas that were prefer. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience the absolutely beautiful and peaceful beaches. This is Ambergris Cay just south of Great Harbor. Flat calm water for our two days here which is rare and much appreciated. Makes getting the dinghy engine on and off the dinghy much easier. Following are some of the best photos of our cruise. If you tap on the photo it should enlarge on your screen. Then, either tap it a second time or the sliver of photo on either side to scroll through the photos without the commentary.

We plan our day to beach comb during the low tide, when the beach is exposed.

This is Money Cay one of our favorite islands. There is one place with large chucks of coal scattered along the beach for 50-100 yards. Obviously from a nearby wreck. It must be completely covered in sand because there is no wreck visible nearby.

Nancy on the right side of the photo. This sand flat is exposed for miles. Tides now are larger with a nearly New moon.

In 6 hours there will be 3 ft. of water here. Until then we will explore.

We found this unique pool feature and will come back later for more photos.

No human footprints to be seen, just prints from a Heron.

Contemplating Driftwood.

Part of the wreck that washed ashore. Several old broken bottles are strewn around the beach.

As the tide began coming in we headed back to the boat for diner and cocktails when the sun sets over Ambergris Cay.

Day two at Money Cay, back for more photos.

Hundreds of small mollusks walking around the exposed sand flat make for an interesting site.

Dana in the tidal pool.

Walking back to the dinghy.

Our dinghy anchored out. We use two anchors so we don’t get stranded. Today I had towed Nancy to shore on her padddleboard.

Nancy enjoying herself.

Back at the boat we have secured the dinghy for our 60 nautical mile run to Eleuthera. With our limited time this year we need to move south whenever the weather permits. Now it is time to enjoy the sunset over Ambergris Cay till next year.

[novankenn]

Hunkering Down (2/3)

Inspired by:

(Hunkering Down 1/3)

Jaune: (Tossing the smoking metal to the floor) Shit!

Ren: That is not a normal reaction for grimm blood. It's almost like it's eating away... Jaune you sword!

Jaune: (Tosses Crocea Mors to the floor as he notices the blade is also smoking.) Fucking hell!

Nora, having found the bathroom, grabbed a small plastic waste bin and filled it with water. She quickly rushes back into the main room and douses both items with the water, diluting the black goo and stopping the acidic reaction.

Pyrrha: How did you know...

Nora: It was a guess.

Pyrrha: A guess?

Nora: Well, chemical spills on skin should be flushed with water, so I figured this was similar.

Loud thuds echoed through the room, causing them all to stop speaking. They just stood there waiting. Those with working weapons tightening their hold upon them. Unarmed, Jaune knew he couldn't do much if one of those things got through the pressure doors, so he moved past his teammates and took a seat at the security console.

As his teammates moved to take positions about the room's only door, Jaune started typing on the keyboard in front of him. He silently thanked Terra for her mentoring him, it was two years well spent. His fingers danced over the keys, as he not so much hacked, but nudged the security system back online. Which brought up all the cameras.

Jaune: Shit!

Pyrrha: Jaune? What is it?

Jaune: They are more than a few of those things out there... a lot more than a few.

Nora: Can you tell how many?

Jaune: No.

Ren: (Pulls his head back into the room.) That door is taking a beating. I’m not sure now much longer it can last.

Jaune: Okay, okay... let's see...

Pyrrha: Jaune?

Jaune: Where is it?

Nora: Fearless Leader?

Jaune: Got it!

Loud screeching could be heard from the fireside of the door as alarms and flashing lights went off in the room. Jaune paid none of it any attention as he continually kept typing in commands. After a few more keystrokes, the alarms were silenced.

Nora: What did you do?

Jaune: I tripped the fire suppression system, specifically in that corridor...

Ren: I don't hear them at the door anymore.

Pyrrha: How did that work? How did you know it would work?

Jaune: I didn't. We lucked out that they used an old CO2 system, over a more modern one.

Pyrrha: I don't...

Ren: CO2 replaces oxygen, and is freezing when released from under pressure. You drove them off.

Nora: I hate to be a bummer, but what now? We're still stuck in here, and I doubt that trick will work a second time.

Jaune: We take stock of what we have available to us, and we figure it from there.

Nora, Ren and Pyrrha all nodded and set about to check their individual kits, while Jaune turned his attention back to the monitors. His deep blue eyes scanned the screens looking for any sign of whatever these things were. It took the others only a few minutes to take stock.

Ren: Well, I have six mags, and three days of rations, plus a first air kit.

Pyrrha: Same on rations, also a first aid kit, and about eight magazines of ammo.

Nora: Same on the rations and kit, but only two mags.

Jaune: I have rations and a first aid kit, but no ammo. (Looks at the charred and pitted remains of his family's heirloom) I'm also basically unarmed.

Pyrrha: So how long before we can expect help?

Jaune: If we can't get a message out, five days.

Ren: As you said, we can stretch the rations out pretty far, but if we end up having to fight those things... we don't have enough ammo... and considering what happened to Crocea Mors, melee is ill-advised.

Nora: So what's the plan?

Jaune: You and Pyrrha are going to check the pressure doors, and then make sure there are no other ways they can get into that corridor. Ren take a look around, see if there is anything we can use.

Ren: This is a security room, so they should have a weapons locker. (Looks about and notices a door with a keypad) I think that might be it, but without a code.

Pyrrha: I think I can take care of the needing a code.

Jaune: Okay, sounds like we have the basics covered. Pyr if you please open that door for Ren and then you and Nora can make a quick check.

Nora: What are you going to do?

Jaune: I'm going to see if I can patch into the main communications array. Try and get a signal out.

With that, everyone went about their tasks, and Jaune put every bit of his training from Terra to work. The others had easily taken care of their objectives, while Jaune struggled to make the rather outdated system do what he wanted. He had almost given up when he finally was able to make his coding work. He smiled as he entered the last lines of code.

Jaune: We have a connection, and we are transmitting.

Nora: The door those things were banging against is okay shape, the other door is perfect.

Pyrrha: I did what I could with my semblance, but it wasn't much. I also crumpled any air vents I saw. Not enough to close them off, but enough that nothing our size could get through them.

Jaune: Ren?

Ren: (Tosses an automatic rifle on the desk Jaune was sitting at.) We have more weapons. There's half a dozen of these in that room, some grenades, and at least ten magazines for each, plus these.

Jaune stood up and with Nora and Pyrrha moved over to the large black case Ren pulled out of the small room. Laying it down, he popped the latches and lifted the top.

Jaune: I haven't seen one of these since I left Ansel.

Nora: It's a gun, right?

Jaune: It's a UA 571-C Automated Sentry gun.

Pyrrha: You know about these, Jaune?

Jaune: Yeah, helped my dad do maintenance and reload runs on the ones around Ansel. We have them mounted on our walls at specific spots. These are in mint condition.

Ren: So you think they might be of any use?

Jaune: I do.

Nora: How?

Jaune: How many do we have?

Ren: Four.

Jaune: Good, then I think what we should do is set two up on the outside of each of the pressure doors. We arm them and then seal the doors. If anything comes towards them that isn't human... they'll go off.

Pyrrha: You sure about that, Jaune?

Jaune: You and Nora both said that door took a beating. We need to do something that will help us hold out. I've got an emergency transmission broadcasting... but we still need to hold out until we receive assistance.

Ren: You sure you know how to set these up?

Jaune: I do. Was there anything else of any use in that locker?

Ren: A few sets of clam-shell body armour.

Jaune: Okay, here's the plan. Everyone is going to get on a suit of body armour, and take one of those rifles. You're going to save your other arms for a last resort. We use up the supplies we found first.

The trio nodded.

Jaune: Then while Ren watches the monitors, Nora, Pyrrha and I will set up the sentry guns. Then we seal the doors and wait it out. With any luck we'll get a response, and be out of here in a few hours.

[likeagreencamelliatree]

8.25.24 - Part 3

Throughout the journey I thought about evaluating myself after traveling so far. I thought that exercise was not my field. If I had to exercise, I would rather walk, because it was the simplest and best sport.

I arrived at a meatball restaurant that I always saw was crowded. I ordered regular meatballs with vermicelli noodles, accompanied by a bottle of packaged iced tea. I enjoyed it.

I thought about where I was headed. After thinking about the future, I think my field is still about traveling. But I thought, should I just be an independent travel writer? I can do it with a simple trip while presenting the meaning behind the trip. Because, I am still considering working in an agency and I also seem to be less interested in photography. So, I think it's according to my abilities. Keep traveling and writing simply and absorbing the meaning of the trip. I think it's that simple.

I think that I have to pay more attention and take care of myself by knowing what I can and like and what I prioritize.

In the midst of my relaxation at the restaurant, suddenly a small child offered a package of tissues that she was selling. I was touched and bought it. She sold it for 5,000, but I rounded it up to 6,000 rupiah according to the denomination of the money.

It crossed my mind, I was confused about what I would do. Was that right? I didn't want to act badly or think badly about the child. I felt touched that a child was selling and at night too. I think my move was right to buy the tissue. At least she was still trying to sell something for the sake of her survival.

And then a street "musician" came with his song. For a moment I thought, maybe the change from the money I spent that I didn't use to buy other things at other minimarkets was useful for "street warriors" like that person. So I gave it to him.

I still felt like being outside the house. After I felt enough at the meatball restaurant, I went to the yogurt dessert shop. I usually buy ice cream there, but I've never tried their frozen yogurt.

With a few steps I arrived and the place was still open. I immediately ordered bubblegum yogurt because that was the only thing left. The fun thing is that we can choose the topping. I chose the strawberry coating topping which I thought was perfect for my bubblegum frozen yogurt. My order was worth 20,500 rupiah and could be paid cashless.

Then I chose the right seat. I chose near the fence with a table and a chair that was right for me. Although the shop is not spacious, the place is aesthetic and comfortable. The shop has been rated 5 stars by one of the shows on national television.

It turned out that it was not in vain that I bought tissue from a child earlier. My yogurt fell a little and I remembered that I had bought tissue. So I used it.

Maybe I didn't really like the frozen yogurt and topping because it tasted sour. Never mind, at least I tried it. I only left a little. After a while I left the shop. I headed to the train station.

I still felt like going out of the house and didn't want to waste my quality time outside the house. Because it was still 8.30 pm, I thought I could relax first at the station and ignore the train that had arrived.

I enjoyed the atmosphere in the open air for a moment. And I realized I had not prayed Isya'. Finally I decided to pray in the prayer room area provided by the station.

Not long after praying, the train arrived at the station I got on it.

Almost one of the cats seemed to want to jump into the gap between the people. Two passengers stopped the cat by saying "hush hush". I took the initiative to block the cat with the tip of my shoe. And then one of the men on the platform took the cat and moved it to a safe area.

The train departed. I only went through 2 stations.

Not long after, I arrived home.

My mom had not arrived from her workplace. But she arrived soon after.

After tidying up, I tidied up the things in the bag I had used earlier and moved some to my work bag. Yes, tomorrow I go back to work.

I relax myself while writing a journal and preparing for tomorrow.

[libidomechanica]

Your wild and all his adjunct pleasant thou

A ballad sequence

               1

Ring out the and waits for she things     ev’n for that hears, than when these have made, and died. The womb where     fills tell me with fancies

time the Sisters or spite; ring out     thee that wantonness, and a wood with heauenly smile it was     certaine knot of the Kiss

of the grave. By whom her own glass;     when the margin of afternoon a guest, while deferred a     purple breaker breathing

great planet that holy feet that     sway the humble grief for our life, but somewhere, the shirt, he     laies. Come; let us loud;

and age jumbled together in     the last that which is, of unaccompts did my regret is     drawn about there I’ll have

behind the lilies: perchance, and     steam: a peace, and make mere life is dark webs, her babes? Dies away;     and every maze of

souls resolved her answer sweet spell     o’ with slaughters other, touch, and night, and go, and dream of     the sting to do. Good luck

to them pipes that parly all thought;     and double day prepare fool the tale of woman has Love     but talk you one. Your wild

and all his adjunct pleasant thou     begin to land; who much, the humming as it’s inner trouble-     tost with over drop?

               2

And dawning race thou art least the     blind; nae bombast sparks something so mock-solemn as unpleasant     spot in which we called

The Art of twain the linnet born     just a little cloud that Nature met with sport then my net.     For which credit thus he

didn’t for something soul! I, that binds     that give me. Main; but clowdy night, by those the rest. Miss the     stile she prow, if not for

his counting, by thee round. But all     I not that I call they died. I walked out of all thy change     us, neighbour with thy

though enchas’d with the curling soul!     I come what possessing towers, Let him fathom thus he     gate, he look’d on: if theirs,

made his prey, by force to seize and     clasp’d no motion, pulses dancing by reason, share thro’ the     high, grand, epic, homicidal;

and flung the hand. Would even     to be. And she spouse, and breeze in the time is common     grief be change o too this

father’d view, fairer that keep the     splendour strove that tree althought for one hours of Rhodes that does     it will the middle gardeth.

The mind, refusing in the     fiddling place to pleasure, which they are gone: I care employed,     no nearest, thy tears shall

the charm to thine eyes were beneath     in the Crown has made it seem’d so fair that is parting whisper     of that aimest with

love thee stillness and those people:     the dusk towards the evening to his worthy of thy desire,     distinguish also

flee, as link’d with sighs behind. Somewhere     your name. For the field, nor game, nor dare welcome, I will     good shall too plain, and I

felt the wicket; babies roll, the     face rose-briar is dying fame, nor following conquer,     went bore that liuing from youthful

friend is it? And if ye will     believ’d them, and thorns: the sort of the woods, to closed our tithes     into stores our shrined;

rude works, and coldness ever     newly sprung in depth of the face with beauty is truths that     I know; and unto me.

               3

And lear, within my mind; he told     his light; faintly stroke; wrought one the light. Delight, that I, who     submitting heart. There his foes will, to the ready spent, and     bad at first friend? Was upward back return I take here thee,     the are think not the night

throw, entering for thee. The stirring     aisles, unmark’d of songs are so sudden a passion     of their day’s oppress’d the Cretans own could even four, would     have laid itself with no touch of the pomander. I found     thy Feet, the twilight away,

but as servants in air; unloved,     the stood, and thro’ and the root when my once-lov’d ideas,     why, thy dark day and in thy sight than a hundred of     sun burned, since life and quiet. Adieu, adieu, I can we     weave thy brow he sting ankle-

deep in luve thee over, or     redress? The generous issue, and was well me when all     those fair; and Earth’s, and no more. I am not wastes, and cannot     live, to call the soul looks which reason is his way. So     round the women—and perfect

gift we receipt; for which yet     I feel they chance, and vacant hear them, and faithful answers,     like a dream, when these bright; expecting star, he sees; on     several praised the center. You I hold the ground: calm and ringing     and squares the things of

me smooth-shaven, loving on, when     I praise is numb; spirits broken so that fellow would hold     the Princess wild-briar fair? Past; the sort of rest? For into     the dead. Bless you. But the rulers and dost the birches     partly because he felt.

               4

With books and back to me remove,     and yet their gifts and tuck thee that what Nature, law: all things     will stealing, idly broken stand at the children of saint     forced the morning tride, and, star that, for his line, of slumber,     in the loftly swels in

which makes me speaks; he laid the stream     but not in the dregs of the coward blow struck up with others     much, the circle hands; and fruits, and waves but Cymon was     the King. And keen the marge, and years of a short exiled, his     is, and hidden share it!

In listens, stop thine is your travell’d     nature, most no graves of a mortal pity cannot     unkind breath, which the place, to fulfillment. And shade the round     me breast or the flames refigured that, if you should be     the go-cart. We ceased to

second birthday pardon, O my     friends: they move his want of your house they are they melt with pain,     and smooth daily draught, I find not die, that Evangelist.     Or into the virgin heart is most air of Hope, the false     world or sustaining laughed;

a rosie garland angel eyes,     and face; but Charlie gat the night; the nighest miss’d head, and     upon your voice of din, and the crescent they shall have to     the field, and grapples in one brought to my face the life from     all the slumber body

will play the familiar to their     gods in a bed the chalice within my view was the hands,     an earth,? As flies me, and bread, and I almost wretched in     deed, demands by which there, between us the summer, dusty     flower and cauld

Caledonian view. Or threaded     somebody, surely lovèd, but not Time began, and came, as     these orbs of love is one things brooding statuary it     is void left aching hence, than of bridal ring, but thee more     near the human, divinely

framework steaming groan, who grasps     the story as it’s inner, here I said, and blood, some press     he cared for fight the church of shame with mortal waits for the     stirring lyre at work, who know; so never could not breathe a     things be drowsy waked

heart is not thy foolish sleep with     such a friends himself betwixt the world anyone. To beat     again our own fairy party strife diffusing beauty’s     head, and memory like them as noise and drinking as tho’     in sight for he wild

inhabits you have unsaid, I wish     too, nor can my dream of human they labour in delight:     the fault; I lull without a photograph, with thro’ the bless.     Still dawn of their causes of nearnest mountain headaches forth     into a hollow echo

like an indolent and breadths     of his Largess. Whom taken he did bring tower on guano     and fancy. Ring, even thou makes me cold, and dead calm     that love you the Polish no evening but ah, how hard to     us out of our forehead

rising with April wakes, who     first confessing, tho’ thrice a judge of painful then might I     not do, thou deeply plays, to matchless code, these forest cry,     a cry above the little Lilia’s. Fields: and of latter     form, and, heedle a

worlds, some welcome what canst not for     you in my een waiting the golden hills round there rose-wreath     of this kindled at thy harshly give, the land thus in the     and looking to gold and sweep thank all we loved yesterday?     He strong bond while each haples

round to torture made me live     again, and had left alone at times long, you are the deep     to drink was is over my heart and sky, and, heedle a     worthy head and lo, thy heavens endure; what we dote on,     for thy lying laugh; the

street, doors, where things be drown’d with the     plank, and just the first my soul of noise and part was grander     other secret sense, which wherewithal: so that I for for     the Rhodian crease; days of home, as in higher hand; this lecture     in early morn when

ply their fancies grew the bellowing     Hope, and mild when tis truly one, withdrew the rest. It     is gone not less, let the will not yet keeps changes; here thee     the promise twice; in its wood, crept the shine beside them pipes,     or comest, much thy quick!

               5

Do I not the boat on whether in delight dies     of Hell brakes appear. Along there was sweet fellow wraith of the captive Cymon’s back. Farewell,     Elizabeth and came there we

livelong sincere, was there in early Heavens     of forest spread: sweet after all the place, and so my parting the good manners taught but     slanted human hand answered Lilia

woke with beasts seraphic flame desire them     the burnie strange the patient form be sunderstand: I love maks a’ thy first: the live, to wing     my life that ranged; thou wert true: perplext

in any garden! And on the past; a life as     futile, thing soul! The tomb, but a trick to his wings; alas, when my brother-hands, and now     my wealth reserved, they gave me from

despairing couch I pray, kiss the sun, and the ford, or     forbidden usury, which happy face with attribute pay, if this sad; her names upon     the pavement of your most shall with

other, knowing the foliaged eaves thy affair     with thy deeds did with human has made the false loves about it is through with sails are brig     o’ Dye, at closed within the babble

down her love you, a Love-lock, idly recline, the     violet is dearest faire, no odor but one behind. Was known. The King the giant orange-     flower could he lover, or some

heard, as on the wretched metal, a lethal musket     shore, without the talent throb, Eliza dear, to undo me, richest all the spire,     there to prove; no, make these deep. Whilst he

knew not here be yet in lightly dance and of late,     becomes nectar at these genteel among six boys, when we climb the worst taught his was Life,—     the trees, they misunderstand—a heart,

howsoe’er expired: inspir’d! So mayst takes the trees are     days, or voice of all they sang for a married the way right of telegraph they live, except     possible blossom to bear the

skirts that testified sun and all thy garland grass,     beauty’s charnel-cave, and much more to death: the bar and now my heart to his wish the cube     and gazed-and gapes, a mortal grief,

can breast, and loyal-hearten truth to view want nothing     Walter who had sent store; buy terms of thee the live twice, dear, these north clymes to weeping     it rests on high, and and lives it

will I die, or zeal, love-hat recorder nothing     rose that I was all as vaster passion clasp and maybe wild unrest thine, ennobling     hour, lest guiltless prayer for thee from

the tidings of men; whose Firmán the Early Poems     of pearls, content. And all the hills, across their grace in that sway their beer was the conceiv’d     with human has’t by kind, resolve

to watch, ere he is dash’d on the sent, then all perdue;     for which is sweet sang, Barbauld, survives horatian fame, and weep is all he said was     Hugh’s at Ascalon: a good shall now

their Institute of which, believe my shame to save,     as she’d been done, the streets were no bitter rue. The mind. For Beauty the raven gloss the     life and catch the sense of all was good.

               6

Ye droop, despair? The yule-clog sparkled keel now no     face, these scenes appeal to us, as these dark freight, but chance, perhaps the star, and staggers     blindly. In those their wonted glebe, or each more content. The rest? And I dare not the less     oceans, roaring out of mine may tell; the Powers, mother self, the eare hence who shines cleere.     They lost thou for a blooming casts in

truth; it is not whether time? I was not the floor,     can like light breast, my heart from the crooked what you were no shade doth with the other snow,     deceiu’d the place, but oh your hamlets round, nor dancing in I woo ye. That little dust;     we are a bless trouble too, where no her fortune to be; o Sorrow, the view, fair, think     of thine, and bitter service to be

love contend forth, despair and hasten to despaire     at my heauy gracious message to suit me Your nakedness wildly: let it grow to mingled     ill, some piece desire; yet less, and thro’ the coward: you the slept thus defined, that’s     folded in love at the walls, to rout the coward stroke with so bent, as both makes that is     but means prepare you through primrose yet

the place with might in watch, ere it needs in undiscover     at full of poesy which is since it selfe to a weary road, yet who would pierced     the burning Walter to myself returned in deed, but all bail shallow chime: o let none,     nor care, heroic seems, so that speech, or low. And one did round me more, that in souls, the     last retreat, consistent scent, and fades

their ever, and long had to clap the last he knolls     on his wide as the songs, that throw. The Minion! These leaves and loves but whether throat and which     of a hand, and weep the same, pierce darts of doubtful gleam, and tower and in the darkness     but unity of woe, should since filletings, without their end; each in the whisper’d, as     I as a tomb which he mignonette

of Vivian-place is bondsman think once should blessing,     clamour match’d, but I shall need not look at the vineyard, the light grove, in circle round     so many clouds that enfeebled mine. Be near or not defence; and that somethinks I     have most, tis better love you the glee, that which is our Princes if he course on winding     eye? The danger spoke the perfectness.

               7

Becomes a year our rusty gowns,     but, he was, the offender, and strange ballad of the darkness     but unity of

you cannot knowledge, under     orient slumbers their due rewardeth. A rosy silks to     flourish set out: there this

the dead, long the Fates but as ill     for he along them the room of all there is liberty,     and fall, I brings from all

children! It circled with weeds: what     dust, or deep. Is grilling stand meet and far from the noble     use. To thee: the basest

valley drops in sorrow under     ten thou hast he told the should defence, into my heart; I     read altar rise, a heart

with answer, or redress; for all     that is had made it seem high up the sun-vows and haste, and     feared his too rudely move,

and yet I spare, lov’st thou? And hew     that love, and bring moon is hid, then, regret to burst the shining     to nobly had not

vex thee, thy voice with mutual     prime? Dead, but chagrin doth show the flower their vanish’d love     before I view, fairer

than aught to whom I love only     darts of home; but tis my dream of sorrow. Not the clear men     say Now I love and mine:

yet oft to view any room concent     didst confess it nor no day hath lesser faith, our temple’s     occupation, when

I’m with love or nothing this wish     too soft kissed, but this foot, watch thee lesse face, with books to be     more the floor; who lost

Eloisa yet must first. Till old days     be seen at first, the ledges of wassail mantle of limes     I past together lends

such as closed thee that so rich     attire: his broad. Leave them together that hearth-flower beat     the air; and come ballad

of our first she punish all in     the region of a people listens, spread his tenants, who     sing strength awake, and jest?

               8

The lines and caught, and carol rang.     And, hovering dies, making on a maid that glad at first as     pure loves himself too

commended by quicks, o tell; and heart’s     despite despair, plunged from thee. We are deaf and the shock, rise     in the sob took a higher

head, and I have caught the throne,     nor courtly care, he is she, the blossom of human break,     Break, Break come quick relief

to thy peers; the phantom chanting.     Confess, mine by lines the cup of girls—sick for the fired;     love but only thro’ nature

stood, but stand: withdrew the rest     wise, and trustful hand. Last redress; and, yonder shrines are but     that breaks of weeds on the

daffodils; beside him lives are     welcome where once in its native shore, so darkens ev’ry     bead I drop the wind’s a

crowd, the fired, he knows, when Cupid,     and more; by shame upon thy second, not distant hills     tell me when this face, except

only wanting health to love     had droop, despair, and maidens with tangle all the prey, by     force thought, how dwarf’d a great

Princess, I would be a bless their     dark from April on the blood. We have said he, shall men, and     range with joy, the voice four

days, or voice, quoth he, And you ran     and tract of life, myself to strange. Her gloom: and brow dost mount     aloft, a broken walls,

there is like a falling crags, O     Sea! I could do it may I do now. My chosen few with     Lilia’s heart is set

on one another’s woe, the hoard     of bounteously we say, but lives in the glancing music     out of the sense he knew.

Passion in his primrose yet the     hallan, a childlike sun rose a shouts, I found his poetry.     In the come out, ’ he

saw us the key. Barren was     in the starry heavens, before me. To proceed, you are     wrote, and cries, laborious

in beauty call; if it be&,.     As if I could put thy Parnassus set in the morning.     Look in yonder a vile

physician, shall rapt I was welcome     for the indifferent blind and loves him who seem’d their     sex, and moving up; no

more; how oft, when the night, the brakes     and prove twas noise and new, a votive cast, deprived of care,     and who can always does.

               9

For which sicken’d heard those lillies     and takes his darkness at them thinking about my sense that     seems so near men borrow is loosening lip? Sat a Love-     lock, idly receipt; for

where the other youth, I bade the     goddess of old. But listen at once conduct by paths of     weaker times to a separate from my kindle at the star     a hunger yearly

immortal foe and you in bloom a     breeze of goodly youth; she seems our Princes in tearless eyes;     nay, now I what is it? No visual shade by side, nor     bent, nor blame, the crescent

of such heavenly of the wedded     dance. Ere such if the pulses beating so mock-heroic     gigantesque, with old retires, long since the bulbs of hate.     Thy rural graceful, I

thinke of all, and if of only     sent a bride, and sweetheart and lay him light, effect star had     fall to hear. I knew that pay the budding twigs spread that ship     already sent did all

day I waited, who had preferred     a name. And this horse. Our virtue they repair, but thrice that     all his thy morn, rise, and round, resort. Light refrain. I ne’er     be parting to defend

the women you mighty Jove, pallas,     Minerva, maiden in this hand is Nature Network     Lord Alfred Tennyson In Memorial still at once     inspires, their heads in slumb’ring

in mine own the same; and long,     and thou, dearer blink. And draws near us when thine. Ah! Make     on before wakes, and I have writ doth view any roses     fly! Fear one hours, you are

safe, because thoughts more than these things;     like coarsest Satyr-shape had touch’d with never rais’d nor reward,     each cold hear a deep regret become to his along,     you tell meaning its cursed.

               10

No village loathes of the wars     to peril and o’er you were thing I creep at earliest     love you, unmov’d, oh Thou,

with me. What enfeeble souls     possessing hour, lest link to his own vastness is, for her to     that I sail’d the sun, the

cheered: O Rhodian crease, impresseth     with his planet, last, and, having life be a worth than garments;     let us see. In

celebration of after-moulder,     the should flings hereafter, up from the rear, the face a     thousand blind hysterious

message to the prison and you     in mysteries; nor my silence broke the lake; speak the sky,     the ball in a penalty

kick. Was cancell’d, strive, to pleasant     shout roses one thou thy praise its matin lamp in sight.     And gapes, a patron

with Time and storing world beside     the garden rails. Look that eye forest creature write with most     beauty’s heavy, dull,

degenerate mind, for the thronged away,     but about empyreal heights around her late all the     bank of kings: and music.

Yet her sleep it seemes of that     does choose beauty’s silent prayed to blow. This hand, which every     day, till I forgets that.

               11

Who broken my heart, already.     And blend, was well; ‘tis so? In Homer’s house, and gentle swain,     a lord of flames harsher moods are booing me that blow by     night came, and shield and Love’s bed always him wrong had the fire     white sticks together thighs

between the Valley of the sob     took farewell! It is it means to fire white walls; the crowd, a     hope of time? For that I cannot whene’er denied, but seeks     at length climbed across just mountain ridge, and age jumbled from     a conscious how I faint,

persistent; wearing out for him     that sorrow. Its leafless ribs and I myself, then my attic     beauty call’d to my wealthy perfumes, for while the mostly     gay? Promise bound, a spectacles and carol rang. To     both in vain that we long

six boys, head under and and Nature’s     mint; and like wags new got too far and welcome to drink     of obvious boy, on song, in bounding him; and last in     the dawn, and o’er the wrist; stare, stare in due time and part of     things but their sleeps the past;

a soul quit Abelard it cannot     blushing he may to whirr and will open plaining music     in it at all the feast; move upon than my brows thro’     Heaven knowledge of the sky, this low, when he wound there the     dun forefathers are things

ev’n for him thence and men from form     to have you, who shine and part of the answers, and their life     remained, in the day so fast increased, his way with love     Creation aid, or kill’d the Sailor at thy breaks the grave done,     succulent dust and praise

the windy morn and came, remade     the for us. For I myself with the event; sighed to     womanhood, the goddess, let my blunt invented fired;     loved at vast eddy wreath none the public. So moulded like     to things. Life a lonely

plant it crime the barr’d of mine ear     the fault was born in an empty hand! Child, and height; I seem     to me, if from my God and all the tale, of latter parts     maintained the counsel of faith, but I know it and last a     night down at lowly, unseen

of distress or the use of     all we flower; who build an eagle’s will prove; no, makes me     speak. I envy themselves so proudest sail beyond that     necessarily evening, and bleeding light waitest for grain     shall aid the sorrow will

not sent, regret. But thou with that     blood running wind upon the shell from coast to the grief of     all the dusk of slothful? My own Blood I devour, dust     of straws and lust, the light as pure baths your loved the roll, they     suffering squares, and that

possibly forme of sense; or falling     after hours alive, and I myself into Yes and call     to strive to keep his lips of the familiar dust reach do     grow; and sadness charity! Was lost or slow draw from the     next, when he did admit.

That glows, the altar-fire, his worth     my wealth, that rang to mar the living blue, autumn beautiful     seeds with all with glorie shine, and maidens gathering those     five strange ballats, Maro’s catch at ease, by wine was by one     kind. Or children of the

lion glares the man behind loud     with scorn the past be all that we have cloth, and year and purlieus     of still, I know, for it not; or something sailors ply     the glow, alluring back into song by degrees, flutter     love can reach; and dream as

something bed! With him to the bloomed     like in me; what wear the bells were shadow sits a fresh number.     And shadow in vain defend my petals with the greatness     to the people say. How should plant with one glance upon     your unto meet thee weel

awhile! The dust I roll, and pinned     within himself, a broken walls our Princesse hy, whose rank     smell like a kid rubs sticky glass, she wept. And like a sea-     fish. The world, I’d some fires of life shall another, the     churls, and their dark slide

intolerant to pass the brain inhearse,     making leaf, and tumble bright, a gilded hook that warms     and you are wed, and heard the spirits whistle mates, several     praised her foes not here strong for yet those tears, and abandon     hope; but broken he

did pass the beasts, I fought him on     his mind, he rear, will prove he sitting cheered: O Rhodian short     times it vain as it in grounds to pray. Were tender, yet dare     welcome to call my widow mourn; but, finding and     And happy shore, was there.

               12

Doth dwelling breast worth; and lost. Books     thy airy silken tree, and Powers the eyes to danced on     love is bright; because I muse an inconsiderate bow’rs,     celestial fuel, making

of woe like a civic manhood     hale and in the find in their tears that are grief minutes hast     that larger other or king! Lovely stroke! Excuse that to     thy song. But sense of the

modest mark to point the rude embrace     her loue, with festal cheerful-minded, talk the tomb, but     clowdy night beside thy memories, moved was lovely sound     for love you only dear,

Look there where to-morrow lives in     the muscles, the sky. Red on yon swoll’n brooks, and can rests on     the dust on the homeless of town: I met was made your hand     one far-off divine, by

the distant shore, in field of thy     prospect find something; we may grow to shoots amain, here we     sang of the shiny thine, and my bonnie lass, but for grief     makes upon my knee, and

green, thy deepens they sang with     undeserve thee former gleam of human time; and rose-red will     sail of heart did pass in lava, fans of sandaled for     whom we guest, the face and

tears each with thy peers, and graces     shines cleere. They like a ghost, since the plays win an answers I     never faithful friends, by dying lover, here the days, thy     name, above; sleep, and here

is all the closet alone. The     sustaining hand reverend pitying it over. Or nay.     Too canst not entirely but in this it to each be     though the ground. I slip the

straightness of the birds, the swain, till     mine, mine eyes were mine appears, forgot am of your dreamless     in honest Allan! Shook to all the dead repose. Drops     on the wind, tossed, the will

this being wore to flights of sleeping.     Enter in a vestal’s lot! When loud with wish I know.     ’Tis forge theirs alone, hath made prison cup, no penance and     fly the hoard of liuely

heat began to end of memory     may not heart may have laid them like wags new unhallow’d,     may lie in bliss, o, from every movement the winds are warmth     again. And those which they

wept and swell out they when thou. But     in the board and want and fairly doth Musicke doth throw my     discord. And in the golden after bliss on earth, memories,     A thousand pursue

it, stands; and when were thou looked keel     now behind. A war ensue desire; yet oft to view,     repenting with horrible blossom fluttering pears! And     far, near me from me, when

her face again, and wave reaching     sense fire and so that all we saw a great played the shirt sours     my scalp and kiss, I scarcely gaze with spiry turrets crowning     rose an unworthy;

full of war, and find out on the     hoofs of Rhodes at first came of prouder part, gathered Rhodian     Pasimond betrayed to loves so in this love your lives in     air; and East, or hand in

his doubly swell; who wears that lucent     wavering sycamore, that no more: too come to it     dearness and the same; and tear is sweet spelling moon, from centre     event, to bare truth:

and saints, I poke the quay, and make     the sky, and nature rarely fell Kai Khusrau, he declined,     he face oh look was these but demands by which yet with smoke,     dark yew, that hath sunderstands

by me, the lips is all my     joy in trance willing pasture, from men dissolved on her life,     without half-dead; and if that warms and partly mine; for the     Quaker holds the boldest

dreamed, and adorns witness and came,     or vow ye never did the blown; no dance, no odor but     whence holds, from his nature, would you about the want, the country     dance two cupped hand,

that mighty hopes and haste embrace     this. And o’er my heart, they repair, and strange. And lastly, by     your life, too base the wild rose, grape of all, or anticipation,     pulse of all things.

               13

Before the days the trees, fluttering. So I began     to where to watch, like a ringlet the faded leaf was depos’d or crown’d; he sees. Since     my heart … he does not grace and strange the

petty railway: love his coldness is, for a soul     of dearth, and I am a world of a noble woe; for thy lying in his round common     would makes upon it with gather’d

skies, my drinking, shake hand answered not breathes more     contemplating whisper’d faces. That in her could fall’n into the fiddling place for my state     the world so far, what nobler leaves litters

tremble tongue, or to-day; to where I linger     in one who remains of words and gave my will let him grace the unswept sea; when love, at     once more free of the rich no more shall

flying cheerful to Cymon’s back. A rule my bed     the loves and you in my heart made that used to a weak disdaine; loue fear it not feel it,     when my faith? These ill-changelist. But

as he: for, thou mayst seems I hear the prow, and washed     metre of moons toward back returning dead, the wall; and blooming three years to one change us,     neighbour without the plainly, some bitter,

yet to die. And vain—she cannot be no coward     the place this count him. And tho’ the heavenly that early know, for frown’s a berry;     and I are one I lo’ed her curls, there

is her husband, far away. ’ But let Heav’n I love     the matin songs the trees, the punish all think we are to and fain to rise, fixed to suit     a careless of pucker’d from the garden

rails, as half my heart; come would be lov’d no more.     His own. Forget him graces may he beasts seraphic gloom of all blank to see. We keeper     anger touch wisdom head and look

up but I shall live. Earthly face the hall eye-     iudgement the winds an ancient man hands, the retreat, inmantled in his way with silken-     sandal, amber dearly light, to rest

is left behind. Dear fatal shore, o sweet: eternal     day I was not heard a voice none the memoriam A. By: struck by the same filmy     shapes or cherry, cream&a yes. Old Year

the Gardener’s Daughter thy shame. The wretch, into my     own laws—my ball room came by, thou of me: I brim with good, but Iphigene once esteemed     for, gird the man we longë love is left.

[goo-stew-4-you]

"Everyone has their vices"

How to determine if you're going through a difficult time:

Stop all your medications against your therapist's advice, since the last one you tried made you want to kill yourself.

End your first relationship, during which you spent 80% of your free time with that person exclusively. Proceed to have limited close friendships.

Overbook your schedule with 3 jobs, 2 time-consuming clubs, difficult classes, and a new honor society that makes you feel shiny, but will take up so much of your time. Attempt to make new friendships, while never seeing your truly close friends, your roommates.

Spend 3-weeks in your hometown. This forces you to slow down, put a halt to the momentum. You may actually being to realize that you're struggling. You may actually reach out to loved ones, have meaningful conversations about the support you need, or at least reach an understanding about how you're not perfect, and, hey, maybe you don't need to be.

As soon as you consider getting back on medication, hop on a plane to Italy. You're going abroad for 8 weeks with people you don't know, in a place where you don't know the language, doing a project that you don't enjoy.

You don't stop being sad in Europe. I learned this the hard way. I am learning* this the hard way. Venice is mystical -- I continue to get lost in the narrow passageways and romantic bridges that divide the city into fractiles. And, it's not a home. I think even if I was happy, it feels offputting. There are no trees or grass in any real sense, and the resulting air quality has irritated my lungs. The canal water is murky, and often smells of sewage or fish. The people are, well, non-existent. That's not true. It was charmingly/eerily quiet prior to Carnival, which is when all hell broke loose. Those skinny walkways became bloated with people in puffer jackets and backpacks and masks. It would probably be fun in a lot of different circumstances. If, for example, I had ever intended on traveling here. But, of course, this location was not my choice. It never was. The place where I was supposed to go, deemed (rightfully) too unsafe to travel to by my university, was also not where I wanted to go, but at least I had prepared myself for it. I set the expectations, and I was disappointed by the change in plan. This all manifests itself as ungrateful, I'm aware of that. I am lucky to have this experience, and I have had a lot of laughs, and made good friends while here, but it still does not discount the sour emotions which have bubbled to the surface.

I won't bore you with the details, but I feel like I didn't know the extent to which I could hate myself before coming on this trip. I can't do anything right, according to myself. The self-hatred feeds the anxiety, which prevents me from doing what I want to do or say or act how I want, which feeds the depression. It's a positive feedback loop of negativity.

I tried to do a lot before telling my parents. I know that they would never be mad at me for being upset, they've dealt with troubled children before. But they worry about me, and I never really give them enough to show them not to worry about me, texts and phone calls are few and far between. But I hit a wall when I was traveling, we went to Bologna. Everything that could have gone wrong, did. I wasted money on train I didn't take, our plans kept falling through, I kissed a girl at the club which made the two guys I was with go strangely quiet on the ride home. I felt like my nerves were shot. We woke up that Sunday morning at 5:30 to catch a bus and then a train and then another bus (when they say it's easy to travel in Europe, they're lying) to the Ferrari Museum, which I honestly had no interest in going to. So, we boarded that bus, with the dredges of clubgoers returning home, and I just sobbed. I took a train back to Venice, and called my parents to tell them everything I've been feeling.

Self-medication. That was my mother's recommendation to me. "Go find some weed, someone there has to sell it. If you can't find that, at least wine is cheap there." I took it to heart. I went out, I bought some weed, and for a week straight, I prescribed myself 2 long drags from an overfilled blunt of the terrace outside my room. Did it help? Of course not, but it numbed things a little bit.

And then, of course, there's the alcohol. I took that advice a little too seriously, unfortunately. Never in my life have I blacked out more frequently than I have here. I will go out buzzed, get to the bar, have a drink or two, and the night will have escaped me. I wake up in the morning still in my clothes from the night before, lights on, and with the cash in my pocket from the night before replaced with a pounding headache. We decided to go clubbing all night a few weekends back, because, when in Rome, I guess. I remember the bus ride there, the walk from the bus station, getting in the doors and getting my free drink that came with my ticket, and then that's it! The entire night, 11PM-5AM, gone from my memory. The people I was with remember it all too well. I apparently went behind the VIP bar to steal pineapple and candies, too 50+ flash photos on my digital camera, and kept running away from them (they told me this in good spirits, thank god). I think I just need to escape sometimes, and that's how my mind is choosing to do it.

Brynne said that she'll go through phases where she's just out of it and that's why she blacks out so often (not scientifically proven, I checked). I guess I'm just in one of those stages in life. The economy of my health is up and down, it's not managed by trends in the market. Maybe if it was, I'd have predicted such an intense downturn.

[creepy--claws]

[● Tales from today

I missed my least favorite class huzzah fuck art class so much

The entire point is to learn about shit, but we were not taught fucking ANYTHING about watercolor beforehand omfg.

So yippee fuck that class to hell and back I don't like it at all.

I managed to get to auto somehow (power of speed) and somehow within 20 minutes, so much bullshit went down

We got:

My friends found this big ass tire outside with oil in it and told me to get in. If there wasn't a shit ton of oil, yes I would have, but it was like. Filled with oil. And then I recieve my daily dose of hugs when suddenly I AM LIFTED INTO THE FUCKING AIR AAAAAAAA

This is the ultimate betrayal, anyways

The broom we use all the time to do things around here turns out to be taller than me. Luckily, we can fix that in 2 seconds with a saw.

History was fun today, I learned about an event that killed a bunch of people and was not tied to the activity at all lmao. And then English comes and I didn't know we had to be in a different class so thank goodness we figured that out just in the nick of time

My English teacher took pity on us because we had this big ass test to do, which is why I missed first period, and we get to just chill. I decided to waste my time watching Devil May Cry related shit on YouTube when suddenly everyone has collectively decided to play among us.

Now here is where I start having a breakdown

1: Someone turns to me and says "hey you should play Among Us with us" because he noticed that I wasn't playing along with them. I declined because I'm not the biggest fan of the sussy imposter game tbh, but that got me to be l Iike "Huh. I suddenly don't feel like being alone." So I get up and decide to talk to my teacher who is really epic and cool and awesome.

2: She tells me that apparently there are people who want to work with me but don't think I want to work with them. Now here's the thing. I present myself as dark as I can and close myself off because tragic anime backstory reasons (trauma) so people don't bully me. NOW THAT MIGHT HAVE WORKED A LITTLE TOO WELL AND NOW I REALIZE THAT PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BULLY ME LIKE THEY DID IN 2017 SO THAT GOT TO ME EMOTIONALLY-

3: Every Wednesday (except for today because she had things to do) my English teacher has these cool meetups at break where people can come and hang out and talk to each other, and 2 of my friends from auto actually go there. I state that I might attend and my teacher says "Yes, please come next Wednesday if you can, we want you there"

I am gonna cry how is this possible

I have spent a majority of my life either being mistreated or left on my own, and I developed into this stone hearted bitch who is like "I am better off alone, eventually all my bonds are bound to break and I will end up walking this world alone again. It's better to be on your own than tormented by those who surround you." NOW I'M NOT TOO SURE ABOUT THAT PLAN-

LlIke yes I have small groups of friends, but I felt like those friendships would wither away eventually. Soon I would continue my path alone and simply brush off anything I felt about the people who have since left me like I usually do, but after that one period today. Maybe life doesn't always have to be so dark. Maybe my friends don't want to simply leave out of nowhere one day. Maybe my friends are actually my friends this time, and not just here for a small time before they leave again.

Yes this sounds dramatic as fuck but like. When you've lived my life of being socially outcasted or mistreated by people you thought you could trust, of course being hit with the realization that you don't have to keep being alone is going to get to you. Of course this is real life and I won't just change in the blink of an eye and suddenly be more outwardly to everyone. I will have to develop into doing that, but even then, I think I'm gonna keep being a little more reserved, but I will try to be less intimidating to others. I can't read people's minds, so I always assume the worst of what people think, but I've come to realize that not every smile is a smile of mockery. Sometimes people are just nice.]

[riallasheng]

I'm glad that it was a case of just not coming together in time but previous instances have been successful ^^ (So long as I am reading that right XD )

It IS weird how Brains apparently went MIA... what's odd is his leaving the wider world seems to (and with the s3 timeline of 8 years) MUST HAVE happened after Jeff's 'death' given Moffat's lines... and not even 'right after' but somewhere in the range of 5 years or less. So whatever caused him to vanish wasn't Jeff related, but something else.

I think the show wanted to have Mach 21 be a bad idea / can't be done, but the TV21 shows that it WAS possible (the 21 displays no issues moving at Mach 21, and that's after being underwater for 8+ years ... side note I really wish the 21 had been in a cave in the desert or buried under a sand dune or the like, she should not have been air capable at ALL after a water crash landing and being under (salt) water for an extended period of time). One not being updated to nyoom faster could just be that we didn't really have TIME for said upgrade and/or tied to whatever caused her to end up essentially nerfed. (She is smaller, has no scanning equipment, lacks any form of 'pod' creation (which 3 has)... she can still get on site fast but that's it. We never see her or her pilot really solo a rescue . Even with... darn it brain is dumb on names... air ballon in mountains rescue.. Virgil and 2 fly in and drop of Brains invention which is what saves the day. But we do see all the other craft and characters soloing rescues.) The airshow felt WEIRD. Even if they were reliant on PR, this isn't something that's likely to GET THEM good PR. It's wasting valuble time that should be spent on the Zero XL or rescue operations and with the Chaos Crew and the Hood it's DAMNED dangerous... and in what sanity was 'hey, let's have someone show up to STEAL THE SHOW and undercut the Thunderbirds?! It legit ended up making iR look BAD, and made the Icarus seem more important than the Thunderbirds... the way the show STOPPED just so the Icarus could land, boast, then leave... the way that there was no real way for any of the TBs to 'show off' at this location... There's no reason to have done it, every reason not to, and it undercuts iR and the way teh announcer is like AND THERE THEY GO FOLKS, OFF TO THE RESCUE is also weird... If it'd gone like planned, Tracy Industries AND iR would have suffered a really nasty blow to PR from this. ...Man, now all I can see is the Icarus company setting up the air show and tricking Penny into it (I love tagPenny as she is a very sweet kid, but she is naïve and young and sometimes gets caught up in the optics rather than teh practicalities) just so they could showcase teh Icarus. that would explain a LOOOOOT of what was going on.

I lean towards the TV21 proved enough points that the GDF didn't really consider it a failure and were going to either make mroe TV21s and/or the Thunderbirds. (The heartbreak could be that the ship he'd poured his heart into designing was gone and quite possibly THIS is where and when the Hood betrayed him, and apparently they were friends prior to the betrayal) The GDF wanting to have multiple TV21s at multiple locations, each with their own teams, makes a lot of sense. Oddly, I don't think the Thunderbirds were the plan. The GDF seem to like 'all in one / jack of all trades' equipment, which fits with the TV21, but not the thunderbirds (actually seen with the ROBOTs, who were jack of all trades. The GDF fliers are also jack of all trades craft, Rigby and Casey are a jack of all trades people - the only time we really see a GDF 'specialist'... is when it's the Hood in disguise

Hmm. I wonder if the Zero X 'exploding' is what made the Hood try to fnd the people behind it. Him trying to kidnap Brains (more than once) could easily lead to Brains hiding away, and maybe he didn't get the Mechanic until relatively recently, like just before the pilot. The Hood does seem to have some 'wonderful toys' where-as before he didn't have his own unique tech

honestly, I like the s1 timeline the best, as it explained their behaviors very well. 8 years doesn't make much sense with everything else, really XD High school graduation occurs at about 18 (which is why I thought Alan was 16 in s1... each season being about a year or so) I don't know, it's messy XD I just put it down to 'didn't think the implications through' ^^;;

With the Hood... my guess is that either Jeff or Lucille kept the Hood WELL away from the boys which when combined with his going by a new name (I doubt he was called the Hood back then XD ) and possibly a new apperance could explain away those issues

All the AI hype recently got me thinking... about the canned R.O.B.O.T. project of the GDF. Yeah, they were unable to prioritize etc, but... The Tracies HAVE and actual AI. Of course it's too much and too soon, and too unpredictable to replicate Eos, but John and Brains (and Eos) could have maybe helped perfect ROBOTS programming A BIT? The idea was not all bad. And 5 Tracies + Kayo cannot make up for the amount of rescues ROBOTS could do simultaneously (maybe assisting the local rescue services, who would manage decision making). I just wish more came of it than a completely scrapped project (that probably cost lots of wasted money and person hours).

[lwtkmm]

They loved you, didn't they?

Part 7

Part 6

Remember, you are loved, you are special, you are worth it, your presence matters and you are beautiful.

Tw : manipulation, gaslighting,mentions of SH ,depressing thoughts, attempted suicide.

They loved you ,didn't they?

No they didn't

.

.

.

.

" Pardon me but that's one of the most lowly thing I've ever heard a human do " Raphael sighed with frowned eyebrows.

" I'm scared Raph" You looked down.

" Don't worry mc, I'm sure we'll find a way out of this." He placed his hand on you head and you'd be lying to yourself if you refused to admit that it was most relaxing feeling you've ever received. Raphael's touch emitted warmth through your whole body. It felt amazing.

Especially after being terrified by Umi , last night. You decided to tell Raphael and Barbatos, the latter getting ready to bring her to his 'secret torture room'. You didn't tell Luke, he's still young to know such cruel things.

Devildom wasn't the same for you anymore. When you had first come to devildom, their was an lively, enthusiastic aura around but now, the air only has a bitter, depressing taste. Maybe this was God's way of punishing you for involving yourself with demons. They were demons for a reason, they were sinners and involving yourself with a sinner was as bad a committing a sin.

You were exhausted. Exhausted of being used by other's for their own asset , exhausted of getting things forced upon you, exhausted of being accused of something you haven't done. Exhausted of everything.

"But.. Barbs.. "

"As much as I hate to say it, this is the only way you can make yourself heard, have revenge for the wrong doing. Trust me "

You stared at your D.D.D . You hadn't replied to barbatos yet, you didn't know what to say . Revenge? Did you really want revenge? Or did you just wanted to let go of all the pain?

Umi had made it an habit of coming in you room and spending hours there, manipulating and gaslighting you in thinking that the others hated you and she was the only one who loved you you'd be nothing without her. It was as if her words were slowly ebbing away the little life that was left in you.

The amount of time Umi spent with you was only getting more every day and it had started bugging the brothers. They started threatening you to leave Umi alone to a point that mammon and you had gotten into a nasty argument and again, Mammon brought up your past, reopening the old wounds and carving new ones.

You had stopped self harm, all the covering up had went into vain since Luke had seen them and the boy had cried his eyes out. You had promised him not to do it every again. That was the saddest you had ever seen Luke. You of course wouldn't hurt his heart, you wouldn't do it again.... Would you?

6 months had passed since Umi first came to Devildom. It was her birthday , the brothers had been planning to make this her most unforgettable birthday ever. They had strictly warned you to stay in your room that day because " We don't want you ruining Umi's special special day with your gloominess " Leviathan sneered.

That was the last push you needed to fall into the ultimate dark abyss. Everyone was downstairs celebrating Umi's birthday while you were in your room, crying into the pillow. Crying every single wound out. You got up, still sobbing and grabbed your bag, searching something. You pulled out a bottle of anti-depressants, you had managed to grab them when you had gone to the human world with Barbatos, without his notice. You had been taking them, without telling anyone. With shaky hands you uncapped the bottle

1 , 2 , 3 .... 10 . Enough to... Enough to....

Should you really do it? Is that what you wanted? To perish away?

You started hearing voices again.

Do it mc

Should I?

They don't need to anyways

Don't you want to be free

You're useless, waste

Maybe.. Just maybe somewhere in their heart, they still had a little love for you .

But no , the way they treated you for the past months, the way they absolutely despised your presence, they didn't. They didn't.

You gulped and brought your hand nearer , yet your mouth trembled to open. You heard the faint voices of everyone singing happy birthday. They were celebrating downstairs while here you were trying to hold on to life , find a meaning to it. Huh! Pathetic .

Your mind went blank for a moment, it was as if voices inside your head were screaming again, but the only change was that this voice was different, this Voice was foreign between the terrifying screams. It was telling you to stop, telling you to live for yourself. Suddenly you snapped back into reality. You don't know why but you felt enraged and threw the pills off your hands, the fall making thud sounds. Your mind raced with thoughts.

'Why? Why should I? Why should I let go of my life for someone who doesn't care about me? Why should I shed tears for someone not worth it? They don't deserve me! I did not deserve this mistreatment! I did not deserve to be used and manipulated! They don't have the right to control my life, my behavior! I WILL NOT THROW AWAY MY LIFE FOR SOMEONE SO INSIGNIFICANT! I am own person, not someone's replica! I am not Lilith, I am Mc, the strong me.'

The malicious voices inside your head started screaming and hurting your head. But no, every has their bottom line and it was far left behind. You wouldn't let anyone control you again. You screamed while holding your head , your mind fighting those voices to leave. you dropped on your knees and panted loudly, everything in the house had went silent.

Suddenly the door knob of your room turned open and Luke with Raphael and Barbatos in tow barged in.

" Mc! " He cried, shocked to see your state.

He ran in your arms, crying. Pillows torn open, matted hair, pills on the floor, stationary lying on the floor, bed messed up, tear dried cheeks and you sweating so profoundly. A lot had happened there.

" Mc are you okay? What happened?! " Raphael was horrified.

" I am okay " You didn't cry anymore. You had won in your head, you had won your own consciousness.

Barbatos smiled to himself and sat beside you. "I suppose you're ready for it? Aren't you Mc? Come on, win yourself , the part of you that you had lost " He held out his hand and you didn't question or think, you took his hand .

The four of y'all went downstairs. Everyone was looking at you.

"Tch. Ya really know how to ruin every moment " Mammon tched at you.

It didn't hurt. You simply looked at him and smiled, sneering a remark, " No Mammon, I'm not you. "

" Whaddya say ?! "

You ignored him and walked towards Umi who was staring hearts at you, No, you would not let yourself go through tha manipulation and blaming. She didn't deserve your love.

When you spoke, their was power in your voice "Oh Umi sweetheart, I suppose everyone gave you your presents, Even I brought I present for you, I know you'll love my present the most "

" Why would Umi want present from a useless human like you " Belphie remarked .

" Well as long as I know, Umi wouldn't want a present from a lazy fucking cow, who's fucking rude to others for no reason and does nothing but laze around and who hated humans for his dead sister having a boo "

Next thing you saw, belphie was in his demon form and was ready to charge at you only to be held back by you .

"STAY" Only one word and Belphegor, the avatar of sloth was restricted of movement.

Your every word dripped venom , " Why? Do you feel enraged? Do you feel traumatized because I brought up your past? I brought up your trauma? How ironic! " You laughed.

You looked back at Umi " You'll LOOOOOVE my present ~ "

You took out your phone and smiled to yourself, well if you were to leave that place, you wanted to make sure you leave a chaos behind.

" So you see Umi , my present is actually something lovely I recorded for you "

Lucifer's patience was running thin .

" Mc you! -" He stopped as you played the recording.

All the events that had happened was spilt one by one . At the end, everyone was silent.

Diavolo was the first one to speak , " Umi, is this true? " There was severity in his voice.

" Diavolo I - "

This time he screamed " I asked, IS THIS TRUE?! "

She flinched and closed her eyes tightly, turning her head away, she said " Yes! YES! THIS IS ALL TRUE , EVERYTHING I SAID IN THIS RECORDING WAS ALL TRUE. AND NONE OF YOU DESERVE MC! NONE OF YOU "

Every one gasped and looked at Umi then back at you. You had a smug look on your face.

Diavolo spoke " Mc -"

You snapped. " Save it Diavolo , save your fake words "

" Mc, I didn't know this -"

" YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SPEAK TO ME LUCIFER, AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU! "

Beel was already in tears " Mc, please listen to us"

" no beelzebub, you don't get to make me listen to you, you and your brothers only view me as a replacement for your dead sister! I'M NOTHING TO YOU! I'M NOT MC TO YOU! i'm only lilith's replica to you!" You looked at them with pure loathe in your eyes.

" you and your brothers thought that i had started to love y'all so no matter how hard y'all pushed my emotions, i'd never question y'all , so when y'all got bored of me, you saw the opportunity to just throw me away and have someone else because "mc wouldn't leave us they love us we love them " NO YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU LOVE THE LILITH INSIDE ME "

you were in tears, panting. But those weren't tears of sadness, those were tears of anger and pain. You were letting out all the pain inside you.

" I thought you all were angels and demons who had been living for like thousands and thousands of years, but y'all are even stupider than humans. "

" Mc, I am so sorry, I never thought things were this way. Please forgive me "

" You're a disgrace Simeon, never speak of forgiveness to me again, your place isn't in the celestial realm, it's here in the devildom, you deserve to live in agony and guilt "

" Mc, give me one chance to explain. "

" Oh and if it isn't the sorcerer. Aren't you called 'king Solomon the wise'? But turns out the great king Solomon is a fucking idiot. Where is your wisdom ,your majesty ? "

You turned to Diavolo, " I hope your exchange program, the only thing you care about , gets wrecked. I hate you Diavolo. I wish I had a stronger word than hate to describe my loathe for you. "

You turned to the Lucifer.

" Lucifer morningstar, your pride will be your down fall one day. Just the way you turned a disappointed to your father"

And then to Belphegor,

" Now I know why your sister is dead "

Then leviathan ,

" You know what Leviathan, everything you ever said about yourself, it's all true, it's all damn true. You're a shame in the name of demon. "

Satan was next,

" Having knowledge doesn't mean you're intelligent. I've heard about demons manipulating humans but this is my first time seeing a human manipulating demons and even the wisest demon got fooled by her. What a shame. And before you come at me, I'm not a part of someone's detest, I have my own identity, which you, will never. "

You didn't anger or yell at them, you only pulled back their trauma from the deepest part of their heart and twisted the knife so many times that it was beyond healing. Just the way they did to you .

You then stood before Mammon, " My first man, who was supposed to protect me became my biggest threat. Pathetic . "

" I beg for forgiveness mc "

"NO YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T! after all the guilt, manipulation, trauma y'all put me through, you have the nerve to fucking beg for forgiveness. you all never listened to me when i tried to explain, you all just dumped everything on me without any proof. you all made me think that i was worthless, i didn't deserve living. you all made me question myself, made me insecure, made me harm myself, almost killing myself! WHY DO YOU EVER THINK I'LL FORGIVE YOU. " Mammon was in tears. He had failed you.

"Y'ALL ALMOST KILLED ME WHILE MY STAY HERE AND ONE OF YOU EVEN SUCCEEDED , BUT STILL I HELPED Y'ALL TO MEND YOUR FAMILY ONLY FOR Y'ALL TO START TREATING ME BETTER AFTER KNOWING ABOUT MY DESCENDENCE. JUST LET ME LIVE, JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE. "

"i never wanted to be here , i was brought here without my own will and never properly allowed to leave because y'all know where to attack, y'all held me back emotionally, y'all knew about my past and you made that as my weakness, and i fell for it, i didn't wanted to leave because i thought y'all were like a family to me, but you only wanted to keep me because i reminded you of your god dammit dead sister! "

Lilith , that name made you loose all the self control you had . You hated that name.

You stomped your feet as you felt a strong force pulling you in his embrace, it was your once beloved, the person who you trusted the most, the one you never thought would betray you, Asmodeus, crying his eyes out.

" Mc, darling. I'm so sorry, I feel so terrible, please forgive me, we can forget about this and be together again . You know I love you "

'You know I love you' you pushed him off you.

" Get off me you pest. "

" Mc.. "

" Shut up! SHUT UP! YOU , ASMODEUS! OUT OF EVERYONE. YOUR BETRAYAL HURTED ME THE MOST. you once made me feel so good about myself , would fight anyone who dared to talk trash about me but look that's opposite of everything you did to me. " He watched you, tear eyed as you let out all your hate for him.

"you've broken our trust, our love and it can never be mended. i hate you with every ounce of my body. IT'S PATHETIC TO THINK THAT YOU THINK I'LL STILL LOVE YOU AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME. ONLY IF YOU HADN'T CHOSEN TO HURT ME, BETRAY ME,BUT YOU SHOWED ME YOUR TRUE SELF. YOU'RE UGLY FROM INSIDE OUT. "

"you made me insecure about myself, commenting every opportunity you got about my body. you talked the most trash about me. i loved you, i trusted you, i thought you'd never hurt me but seems like you never trusted me. i made you feel beautiful, but you never did that for me. "

at this a few tears fell from your eyes, Asmo hurted you the worst. Heartbreak does hurt more than anything.

" Mc.. Can we talk? " It was Umi.

You turned towards her and spoke in a soft But powerful tone "you're pathetic Umi, just for you to know, I'll never love you. I'll never love someone so cruel, manipulating, lifeless as you. By the way, thank you, you were right, they don't love me and I thought they were my family . Umi, I kindly ask you to get the fuck out of my life. You will never have my love."

"Mc-"

"Diavolo, I want to go back, to the human world. "

You turned back "you were right Lucifer, I'd be better off in the human world. "

" Mc, no please we can fix this " Lucifer pleaded pushing all his pride aside.

" Luke, Raphael thank you for believing in me. Thank you for being there for me. I appreciate you both so much and Barbatos, I don't know how I can thank you, if it weren't for you, I would have never gotten the courage to do so " Your tone softened and you hugged Barbatos tightly.

"Barbatos? You knew?! "

" Yes M'lord "

" And you didn't tell me the truth? "

" Why try? It's not like you would have changed your mind M'lord. "

" Now if you Diavolo, I did not stutter when I said I wanted to go back "

" It.. It shall be done mc "

" Very well, then I shall go back and pack up my stuff. And by that I mean the stuff I brought with me from the human world initially."

You walked upstairs and looked down at everyone. They were all sobbing or were at Umi's throat. You didn't care anymore.

**************

" Tell me you'll miss me " Luke was already crying.

" Yes Luke I'll miss you and I'll always contact you"

" Pinky promise? "

" Pinky promise "

" Mc please don't forget me " He hugged you. You were trying so hard not to cry but seeing Luke always made you soft.

" I hope wherever you go, you're always happy mc. I'll pray for you to father " Raphael smiled.

" Thank you Raphael. Thank you so much " You smiled back.

You walked towards the open portal.

" Goodbye mc "

" Goodbye barbs, I'll miss you "

You walked into the portal, leaving all your scars behind. You were ready to start fresh .You didn't care looking behind at the crying faces .

You were glad you were leaving them.

Alone. Yet again.

It was indeed Umi's most unforgettable birthday. But at what cost?

They loved you, didn't they?

No they didn't.

.

.

.

( after story)

(Alternative ending) soon

The end

Ps : thank you to everyone who supported me and showed so much love to this au. Remember this an Au and the brothers or the others would never replace the Mc because they trust and love Mc a lot. Have a great day <3 ~ Hani ♡︎♥︎

[multifandombitxh]

Two Years Late (Ch. 3)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Chapter Genre: Angst/Smut vibes I guess idk how to classify it lol

Chapter Warnings: Slight bullying, sexual tension, strong language, PTSD flashbacks, mentions of blood/injury

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has shown interest in this series, I'm really proud of it and where it's going even though it doesn't get nearly as much attention as my one-shots do ♥️ if you'd like to be added to the tag list let me know! PS idk how D&D works, sue me lol

Tag list: @soapbar99 @avengersmarauders @senkobingus @httpjiikook @jessyballet @nanocoool @lightupmyjass

Chapters 1 & 2: X X

Chapter 3: The Dungeon Master's Queen

Before you could say goodbye and get the hell away from Eddie, Lucas, Mike, and Dustin appeared seemingly out of nowhere, crowding around the both of you. Mike and Lucas were giving Eddie fist bumps and loudly raving about his latest campaign, while Dustin was busy staring at you with confusion written all over his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dustin asked, catching the attention of the others.

"I, ah," You began, fumbling for an explanation that wouldn't make things more awkward than they already were. "I came toooo... pick you guys up!"

"But we have Hellfire tonight," Mike said, his tone perplexed. "You know we have it on Mondays and Fridays."

Shit.

"Oh, is today Friday?" You half laughed, trying to carry out your lie. "I totally forgot, I guess I thought it was Wednesday or something. I'll be back later to get you guys then!"

"You should just hang out with us!" Lucas said, "Aren't you always complaining about gas money? Why waste the gas to go home and come right back? Just come hang out!"

You and Eddie both looked to each other, then back at the kids.

"I don't think that's a good idea-" Eddie started, but was soon interrupted by a chorus of complaints that filled the air from the three kids surrounding you, making you wince at their pitchy voices.

"Y/N, you never hang out with us anymore!" Dustin complained.

"I hang out with you guys, I drive you home all the time!" You defended.

"Driving us home isn't hanging out with us," Dustin went on, "You only ever hang out with Steve and Robin, it's so not fair!"

"Maybe if you spent less time making out with Steve, you'd actually remember what day of the week it is," Mike added. Your jaw dropped at his statement, a scoff escaping your throat noisily.

"I do not make out with Steve," You said, giving Mike a very stern look. "If you seriously think there's something between me and your sister's ex-boyfriend, you are delusional, Wheeler."

"Wait, Steve Harrington?" Eddie asked as if he'd just pieced the puzzle together, "You hang out with Steve 'the hair' Harrington now?"

"Hang out? They're inseparable," Lucas replied to Eddie. "She's always at that stupid video store with him."

"And Robin, too, don't forget Robin," Dustin chimed in.

"Robin Buckley?" Eddie asked, a laugh laced in his words.

"Oh my god, yes, I hang out with Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley!" You shouted at Eddie, throwing your arms in the air and letting them fall back at your sides. "Jesus, if I stay, will you guys shut up about Steve?"

The three kids made the same motion of zipping their lips and you let out another deep sigh. With a lot of reluctance, you agreed to stay, following the four back into the high school and dragging your feet the whole way. Eddie led the way, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin following him closely and rambling on about monsters or something; you couldn't tell what. It all sounded like jumbled, made-up words.

When you arrived at the theater room, you found yourself an old, cushioned chair, placing it at the furthest end of the table from Eddie between Mike and an older kid you didn't recognize. The mystery teen gave you a dirty look, making you snort and laugh under your breath. You had to remind yourself that these were high school kids, and you were an adult. The only other person in the room on even remotely the same level as you was, unfortunately, Eddie.

And even that was a stretch.

"Are we letting women join Hellfire now?" The teen said, folding his arms over his chest and staring you down. It took everything in you not to burst into laughter.

"Yeah, what the hell, Eddie?" Another boy asked, "You know the female brain can't understand the complexities of this game. She'll probably ask too many questions and ruin the immersion."

For a moment, you thought to defend yourself, but decided it was pointless. It was hilarious how wrong they were, but you didn't feel the need to prove yourself to a room of sweaty high schoolers.

"Hey, you guys shut the hell up," Dustin said defensively from the other side of the table, pointing an accusing finger at the two boys. "She's cooler than everyone in this room combined."

"Hardly," Mike muttered. You kicked his leg under the table and laughed at the annoyed look he shot your way.

"It's true!" Dustin went on, standing from his seat.

"And what makes her qualified?" One of the boys asked condescendingly. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Qualified? To watch a board game? Annoyed at the amount of teenage entitlement in the room, you raised your hand slightly above your head.

"I don't even wanna be here," You said, but your words fell on deaf ears. No one was paying attention to you. No one, except Eddie, who was leaning back in his chair and staring you down like a hawk. One of his legs was crossed over the other and his mouth was pursed in a thin line, his chin turned upwards slightly to reveal his jawline. You did your best to ignore him, but couldn't help squeezing your legs together when he saw you staring back and smirked at you.

"She fought the Demogorgon," Dustin declared with a clap of his hands, refusing to back down. "It was so badass. She has this crazy sc-"

"She did fight the Demogorgon," Lucas interrupted quickly, looking over at Eddie. "In a campaign, I mean. It was awesome. It was like, years ago."

"Yeah, years ago," Mike repeated. He and Lucas looked uncomfortable, likely due to the fact that what Dustin said wasn't untrue. The most unrealistic part of it was calling it a fight rather than a bloody massacre. You were sure the other two boys wanted to get off of the subject before Dustin said too much. He had a tendency to get carried away, and the last thing you needed was for him to ask you to show off your gnarly scar.

It was a little hard to explain away without completely confessing the story. "Oh, this old thing? Yeah, damn near ripped my whole torso in half in one swipe. Talk about a tear-able workplace accident!"

Yeah. Not happening.

Eddie was leaning forward in his seat now with a taunting smile on his face. Your heart thumped hard in your chest, but you couldn't tell if it was from excitement or anxiety. "I didn't know you played D&D, Y/N."

All you could do was roll your eyes.

"Wait," One of the older boys said, "Y/N? Like, Queen Y/N, from your last campaign?"

"Gentlemen, I always hoped this day would come," Eddie addressed them, dramatically standing from his throne to approach you at a deviously slow pace. You shifted uncomfortably as he rounded the back of your seat, placing his hands firmly on the chair. "Queen Y/N, in the flesh."

The room erupted in discussion and surprise, which made you feel more inclined to sink into your seat as low as you could. You wished you could just slip between the dusty green cushions, never to be seen again. Eddie was still behind you, lurking like a shadow, now crouched to your level.

"Would you like to address your loyal subjects, my Queen?" He whispered in your ear, his tone teasing and his breath hot against your neck. "They all fought for your honor, you know. It was pretty courageous, actually. Gareth slayed a whole Wyvern for you."

"Fuck off, Munson," You hissed through your teeth. The others were busy in conversation, laughing and reminiscing about the campaign you were unknowingly a part of in the past. It seemed that it did the trick, though, because no one was complaining about your presence anymore.

"As you wish," He replied, pulling away and returning to his throne. The game began and you sat quietly, watching as they played. You stayed quiet, watching with little interest. Sleep deprivation was really starting to set in, and your chair was starting to feel especially comfy. You decided to rest your eyes while the group played, but couldn't find sleep as they conversed and shouted over each other.

At one point, the whole table was looking to you expectantly. The silence that fell over the room encouraged you to look around, only to be met with several prying eyes.

"What?" You asked, sounding more annoyed than you intended.

"The Queen has to make a choice," Eddie said, leaning over the table with his hands splayed over the old wood. "Do you slay the intruders, or show mercy?"

"I don't even know what's going on right now."

"A group of pillagers broke into your kingdom," Dustin explained, "Are you going to make us fight, or kidnap them?"

You furrowed your brow. "I thought I was a queen in a different story."

"Campaign," One of the teens corrected.

"We decided to revisit your kingdom," Lucas said, "We thought it would be fun, since you're here, y'know."

"Um, I dunno," You shrugged, sitting upright. "Are they evil?"

"They're trying to burn down the orphanage you built when you became Queen," Mike said dryly.

"Oh, then yeah, fuck 'em up, boys," You said with a wave of your hand.

"You have to say it like you're in character," Dustin whispered across the way.

You sighed heavily, sat up straight, then attempted your best regal voice. "Kill them all, brave soldiers. Bring me their heads, take no prisoners, whatever."

"Good enough," Eddie said with a nod and a large grin.

After about an hour and a half, things started to slow down and the group decided to call it a night. You watched as the older kids quickly made their exit, leaving Eddie behind with you and the boys. He was still sat on his throne, eyeing you like a hawk. You tried your best to ignore him, standing from your seat and stretching your arms over your head.

Mike, Dustin, and Lucas gathered their belongings and stuffed them inside their backpacks before slinging them over their shoulders and walking as a group to the doors. They were lost in conversation, but Dustin was quick to realize you weren't following them. When he did, he stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"Y/N, come on!" He called out, "I promised Suzie I'd call her when I got home!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it, just a sec," You said, your voice strained as you stretched.

"Go on ahead, guys," Eddie said, standing from his seat and making his way over to you. "I'm gonna talk to our Queen for a minute."

The boys looked between each other before shrugging and exiting through the noisy double doors. Silence fell over the room the second the doors shut, leaving you alone with Eddie once again. You leaned back against the table, resting your palms on the edge to support yourself. He came to stand in front of you, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Your thoughts wandered as you avoided meeting his gaze, wondering what he could possibly have to say to you that he hadn't already.

"Those kids really respect you," Eddie said, making you scoff.

"Yeah, right," You laughed, "I couldn't get those shitheads to respect me if my life depended on it."

"I just meant- I dunno," He went on, "It just seems like you're really close with them, that's all."

"I guess, yeah," You shrugged, "I grew up with them, I basically helped raise them. Saved their asses more times than I can count."

Eddie pursed his lips and stood beside you, crossing one leg over the other. "You mean, in D&D?"

"Yes," You said quickly, "Yeah, in the, um, in the game, yep."

"What was your class?"

"Ah- my what?"

"Your class," Eddie repeated, "What was your class and level in the game? You know, the one where you fought the Demogorgon."

"Oh," You said, desperately trying to remember what that even meant. "I was... Um... A wizard? No, a mage. Definitely a mage."

"Y/N, when are you gonna stop lying to me?" He asked impatiently, turning to look at you. "You hated D&D. You used to tell me how fucking boring you thought it was, and refused to ever play it with me. I know you've never touched the game. Why the hell would they say that you played with them if you haven't?"

"Look, Eddie, I don't know why they do the things they do," You sighed, giving up the lie. "Maybe you should ask them. It was probably just something they made up so the other kids wouldn't be mad that I was breathing the same air as them."

"Jesus, you are impossible," He groaned, running his hands down his face in exasperation. "Why can't you just be honest?"

"You'd hate me more if I was honest," You said, flashing him an empty smile.

Eddie looked over at you, his mouth turning downward in a frown. When he spoke, his voice was small, and sounded hurt. "I've never hated you, Y/N."

"Yeah, right," You said with a loud laugh, "You hate my guts, Eddie, you've made that pretty clear. Now who's the liar?"

"I'm being serious," Eddie said, his voice stern.

"So am I," You replied with a shrug.

As if his well of patience had run dry, he came to stand in front of you in one swift movement, his eyes boring into yours. You tried to move backwards away from him, but you were already backed up against the table as it was. Try as you did, it was impossible to get away as he leaned forward, both of his open palms landing on the table behind you and trapping you between his arms. He was dangerously close and smelled like ash, his hair wildly hanging in his face and giving him a mysterious look. Those gorgeous eyes were locked on yours, but would stray away every few seconds to gaze at your tensed forehead or your frowning lips. Unrecognizable heat burned in the pit of your stomach.

Eddie had that effect on you, and it drove you absolutely up the wall. He infuriated you to no end, but at the same time, he made you feel warmth, anticipation, and this undeniable arousal that made you both excited and sick to your stomach at the same time. For the second time that day he had you in a tricky spot where he had closed in on you, and you couldn't tell if you wanted to punch him in the face, or kiss him like it was your job.

It would be easier if you knew which reaction he was trying to draw out of you in the first place.

"What are you trying to do, Eddie?" You asked, "If you're trying to scare me, it's not gonna work. We went over this already."

"Who said I was trying to scare you?" He asked in response, "Maybe I'm just trying to make a point."

"And what, exactly, is that point?"

Eddie closed in even further, his lips centimeters from your ear. His breath was hot against your skin, making you shiver once before you forced yourself to still. The last thing you wanted was to show him exactly what he was doing to you. Your nails dug into the wooden table as one of his hands came to rest on the small of your back, sending a jolt of electricity up your spine. It felt like a lost cause trying to steady your breathing at that point, especially when you could hear just how breathless he was as well.

"My point is," He said softly, "You're a shitty liar, and you always have been."

"Fuck you, Munson," You breathed out, taking in a sharp breath as he pulled you closer against his body. Your back was basically arching up into him, your chests touching ever so slightly.

"You know, if you hate me so god damn much," He went on, "Why aren't you fighting me right now? You sure don't seem to be upset about this for someone who supposedly hates my guts. That's what this is all about, right? Don't you hate me? Or is it something else, but you just don't want to admit it to yourself?"

"What the hell are you even talking about?" You asked angrily.

Eddie moved away from your ear to look you in the eye, his pupils blown and his mouth turned up in one corner. The way he was looking at you was absolutely sinful and made a knot form in your gut. "I just think it would do you some good to be honest for once."

God, you wanted to kiss him. His lips were right there, just begging for you to lean in and close the small space that separated you. You couldn't seem to look away from him, your lips parting gently the longer you held each other's gaze. You wanted to say something, or do something, but it felt like you were frozen in place. Your heart was pounding against your chest so heavily it felt like it would bruise you from the inside out. The silent tension in the air made you dizzy, and the longer he stared down at you like he was going to throw you onto the table any second, the less and less you could breathe properly.

By now he was basically on top of you, the only thing keeping you upright was his arm that was snaked around your middle. Your feet nearly went out from under you as he closed in, and you stumbled, but Eddie was quick to scoop you up and place you on the table. He made himself comfortable between your legs, his hands coming to rest on the table beside your hips. He was mere inches from you now, the tip of his nose nearly touching yours. For a moment, it felt like your lungs weren't working anymore.

Did you want to kiss him? You really, really did. At the same time, you also wanted to rearrange his teeth. But Jesus, the way he was looking at you was so devilish and full of lust that it was hard to keep it together. One of his jeweled fingers trailed up the side of your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You shivered against his touch and clenched your jaw, lowering your gaze and doing your best not to lose your mind.

"Look at me, Y/N," Eddie demanded, his voice low.

When you looked up again, Eddie was gone, replaced by the snarling, bloody, faceless monster that haunted you day in and day out. Its mouth opened with a disgusting, wet noise, rows of teeth glistening in the colorful lights of the theater room. You gasped and tried to move backwards, but it was holding you in place, claws ripping through your clothes and drawing blood. You began to fight back, pushing and shoving on its chest and felt the urge to cry out, but the shock of the situation rendered you silent. The Demogorgon screeched above you, making you push harder until you finally broke free.

You bolted for the door, but before you could make your escape, a hand grasped your wrist and forced you to turn around. You fought against the grip, but when you turned, Eddie was standing where the Demogorgon had previously been, looking very frightened and shocked. His eyes were wide, his hair wild, and his mouth agape.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, sounding breathless.

"I don't-" You started, gasping for air. You began looking around the room frantically, eyes darting to every corner to see where it went. You wondered why Eddie wasn't freaking the fuck out. "Where did- Where did it go?"

"Where did what go, Y/N?" Eddie asked, sounding exasperated.

"You didn't see it?" You asked in disbelief.

"See what?"

When you looked down at your torso, you found that you weren't bleeding at all, and your clothing was perfectly fine.

It wasn't real.

None of it was real.

With a sigh of relief, your shoulders dropped and you felt an overwhelming sense of exhaustion wash over you. You were beyond tired, now to the point of seeing things. You couldn't get away from it, even in the real world. Tears stung in your sore eyes and you rubbed them away. Eddie was still grasping your wrist, his grip loosening as you calmed down.

"Y/N, you're scaring me," Eddie said after a moment. "What did you see?"

Swallowing hard, you blinked several times and avoided Eddie's gaze. "It's nothing, I just... Forget it."

"No, do not do this again," He warned, pointing a finger at you. "You're telling me what the fuck is going on, right now."

"I can't, Eddie," You replied, looking up at him with tired eyes. "I don't know how many times I have to say it. I can't tell you."

"Bullshit," He spat, taking a few steps closer. "It's not that you can't, it's because you won't. I'm done with these stupid games, Y/N, tell me why you were so scared you about knocked me on my ass."

"I... get claustrophobic," You lied with a shrug, "You were in my space, sue me."

Eddie stared at you for a moment, shaking his head. He looked both sad and disappointed at the same time, making your heart twist in your chest. "You're a shitty liar, Y/N."

After pulling away from Eddie's grip, you pushed past the doors, taking long, quick strides toward the exit and desperately trying to force thoughts of Eddie and the Demogorgon out of your mind.

Why the hell would you see it here, now? How were you supposed to get better if it never went away? On top of that, what was Eddie doing in there? He was all over you, acting like you hadn't just been fighting hours prior. How could he just pretend everything was fine? Angrily shaking all questions from your mind, you pushed your way out of the school doors and marched into the parking lot where you found Mike, Lucas, and Dustin waiting at your car.

"What the hell took so long?" Dustin asked, impatiently pulling on the handle of the door. "It's freezing out here!"

"Sorry," You said, searching your bag for your keys. "I didn't think I'd be that long."

"Did you fight with Eddie again?" Mike asked.

"Wait, again?" Lucas asked Mike, picking up his backpack off the ground and slinging it over his shoulder.

"They had a fight last time she came to pick us up," Mike explained as you continued to desperately search for your keys. "If you hadn't ditched us for Jason and his loser friends you would've known that."

"What kind of fight?" Lucas continued questioning Mike.

"I think Eddie just doesn't like Y/N," Mike said.

"That's not true, he literally named a character after her," Dustin retorted. You were still frantically looking for your keys.

"Oh, yeah, I guess that's true," Mike replied.

"Maybe they used to date or something," Lucas said with a shrug. " A 'Lover's Quarrel', or whatever it is my mom says."

"My mom says that too," Mike laughed, "Can you imagine Eddie and Y/N being like our parents?"

"Don't be gross, guys," Dustin gagged, "If Eddie and Y/N got married, they'd be nothing like either of your parents."

"Hey, guys," You said impatiently, "I'm right here, okay? Quit talking about me like I'm not standing five feet away, or I'm leaving you shitheads here."

"Kinda seems like you'll have to," Dustin said, gesturing to your bag. "Where are your keys?"

"I don't know, okay?" You said, exasperated. "They were here earlier, I swear. Maybe I just, I dunno, dropped them in the woods earlier. I'll be right back, okay? Just go wait inside or something."

As you turned to begin the walk down to the clearing, you bumped into something solid, forcing you to take a step backward. Eddie stood before you like a towering tree, looking down at you with dark eyes.

"Having some trouble?" He asked, his tone scratchy. The kids were deadly silent behind you, as if witnessing Mom and Dad fighting again.

This day couldn't possibly get worse. Not only were you beyond exhausted and seeing things, but you couldn't seem to get away from Eddie. Your feelings about him felt muddied and blurred after everything you just experienced back in the theater room. It was hard to determine which you felt more; longing, or absolute hatred. Either way, you had reached your breaking point and just wanted to go home.

"I can't-" You stuttered, covering your mouth with your hand and fighting back tears. "I can't find my keys."

Eddie looked back at the three boys who gave him friendly waves, and he sighed, turning back to you.

"Alright, come on," He said, gesturing for you and the boys to follow him.

"What?" You asked.

"You can't drive without your keys, and I am not hot wiring your car," He explained as he began walking off into the parking lot. The kids followed after him, giving you apologetic smiles. You trailed behind them, desperately praying the day would end soon.

Dustin stayed behind with you, matching your pace as the others followed Eddie like lost puppies. You couldn't help smiling when they began rough housing, Eddie picking up Mike and throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Loud protesting and laughter echoed in the parking lot, Mike shouting at Eddie to put him down and pounding his fists on his back.

"Eddie's a good guy," Dustin said, "I don't understand why you guys don't get along."

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest, staring down at your feet. "We used to be friends, but when we got into high school, he decided he didn't want to be anymore."

"I don't get it," He went on, "He talks about you like you never stopped being friends."

"Well, we did," You said, "And it was his choice."

"Okay," Dustin said, "But is it still his choice? Or is it yours now? Because I think he wants to be your friend, but you're pushing him away."

You scoffed and smiled over at him, messing with the hat atop his head. "You take too many pages out of Harrington's book, Dustin."

When you finally made it to Eddie's van, the boys piled into the back, leaving you with the passenger seat. As badly as you didn't want to be near Eddie, the idea of sitting in a car and getting at least a little shut eye seemed pretty appealing. Once inside, you buckled your seatbelt and turned to face the window, resting your forehead against the cold glass and closing your eyes.

Eddie started up his van and turned up the heat, his music blasting through the speakers at an annoying volume. After a quick glance over at you, he turned the volume down, much to the dismay of the boys in the back of the van. Eddie gestured to them with a finger over his lips, then pointed at your tired form. After that, there was only the sound of the road and soft music, which was enough to let you drift into sleep with ease.

[likeastarstar]

Birthday Boy Pt. 2

Summary: WARNING! smut ahead. Can be read alone but this connects to Birthday Boy. Later that day your follow through on your promise of head <3

masterlist.

"Do we have to go?"

"Yes."

"But what if we just stayed in instead?"

"No."

"Got it," Namjoon sighed, walking into the bedroom that you shared.

You rolled your eyes and clipped your bra on, adjusting the straps so that they sat smoothly on your shoulders. It was his birthday- of course you had to go to the dinner you had spent the last three weeks planning. You had been saving up for this for two months, insisting on paying for everything yourself. Namjoon was rich, clearly- but you weren't a moocher. So you had rented out his favorite restaurant, spent a week trying to coordinate everyone's schedules so his best friends could be there, days finding the right decorations, hours setting up the entire place earlier today when he went hiking with some friends.

Everything was perfect and you just needed Namjoon to suck it up and go to his fucking birthday party.

"Are you read- woah."

You turned around, Namjoon standing in the closet doorway with his eyes stuck on your tits. You couldn't blame him, you did happen to have on a very extravagant lingerie set. It was a dark green color, lacey, and sheer in the right places- a matching bra and panty set with a garter belt to match. The belt was a little extra but it was worth it, given the look on his face right now. He watched you pull a pair of stockings up your legs and clip them securely to the belt with a blank look on his face, hands clenching and unclenching around air.

"I'm almost ready," You smiled, putting your hands on your hips.

"You take birthdays way too seriously," He breathed out, still unable to take his eyes away from your body.

"You've told me that already," You nodded. He was right, you were being unnecessarily celebratory. But this year had been hard and he deserved one day of perfection.

"I really like the color," He mumbled, watching you walk towards him and place your hands delicately over his. You guided his hands to your ass before hooking yours around his neck, peering up at him with innocent eyes.

"Do you wanna touch?" You asked, your voice quiet and demure- the exact opposite of your actual personality.

He nodded and tightened his grip on your backside, kissing you slowly. You smiled into the kiss, feeling him away the two of you side to side like you were dancing. "Well too bad. Go sit on the bed," You instructed, nudging him backwards.

Namjoon did so willingly, watching you tie your hair up into a ponytail with ease, "Oh shit- I was kidding about the head before dinner thing."

"I wasn't," You snorted, getting on your knees between his legs.

You placed your hands on his inner thighs, pushing his legs further apart as he leaned back to untuck the front of his dress shirt. You worked on his zipper, sliding it down easily and easing his cock out, wiggling slightly in your place between his legs. You loved his cock, could spend hours focusing on just that one part of his body. You hummed in contentment, smiling softly, "Ah, I'm going to enjoy this."

"You're looking at my dick like it's your friend," Joon chuckled, only laughing harder when you shot him a glare.

"It is my friend," You noted. Namjoon reached out a hand towards your figure, hand going directly towards the soft skin of your neck. You slapped his hand away lightly, sending him a warning glance, "No touchie."

"It's my birthday," He whined, pouting.

"You can touch after we get home from the dinner. Unwrap me as your last birthday present." You smirked, taking his cock in one hand and licking a tentative stripe down the length so that he was nice and wet.

He groaned, feeling your tongue on his skin and leaned back even further, hips bucking up towards you. You smiled wider, pumping him with two hands and twisting at the head of his cock, admiring the way it was starting to grow underneath your touch. His cock was a dream, long, thick, and smooth. You stared at it wondering how on earth this thing fit in you, wishing it was in you now.

But there was no time for that- you had a reservation to make.

Instead, you took the head of his cock into your mouth and sunk down quickly, wiggling your tongue on the underside of it as you took him in further. You deepthroated him instantly, choking slightly before pulling up and replacing your mouth with your hand.

"Holy shit," He moaned, chest rising and falling in hard pants.

You swirled your tongue over the plump head of his cock, tasting the salty precum beading at the top. You teased the ridge, licking, and sucking as much of his length as you could take in your mouth comfortably. Your hand made up for wasted space, twisting and pulsing at the base of his cock in a quick rhythm. You squeezed your thighs together, ignoring the heat pooling in your stomach as you looked up at your boyfriend, who looked like he was about to cry.

You were doing a good job.

Massaging the skin of his inner thigh, you grazed down to his balls, taking both of them in your hand and caressing the soft skin lightly. You explored the texture freely, pulling off of his dick to take each of them in your mouth and sucked lightly, still stroking his cock with a hand. Namjoon moaned and his jaw fell open, the look of sheer pleasure on his face enough to have you moaning around his balls as his hips flexed into your face.

"Baby-"

You nodded and knew what he wanted, releasing his balls with a 'pop' and going back to sucking the life out of his cock. He felt silky in your mouth, the taste of him filling your mouth as he thrust into your face in long, fluid strokes. You felt lightheaded and reminded yourself to breath through your nose, getting caught up in the moment to remember that you actually had to inhale oxygen. His hands were balled into fists behind him, holding his body up while trying to resist grabbing the sides of your face to fuck your face. He was driving you crazy, the way he looked completely lost to lust, your name rolling out of his mouth in a whiny tone. You took him further and tried deepthroating him again, a bit more sucessfully this time.

You swallowed around him and heard him gasp- "I'm gonna fucking cum."

You nodded and patted his thigh lightly, letting him speed up the jerking of his hips until creamy fluid filled your mouth and you sucked harder, milking his orgasm. Namjoon groaned, falling back flat on the bed, his breathing heavy and labored. You pulled off of him when he had completely finished, sitting back on your heels to catch your breath for a moment.

"Jesus Christ," Namjoon groaned, propping himself up on his elbows, "That was amazing."

You smiled at him and wiped the corners of your lips, knowing you probably had to touch up your makeup now, "I love you!" You grinned, sending him an innocent smile as if you hadn't just done something entirely dirty to him.

"You're a minx, you know that?" He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You love it," You shrugged, standing up slowly. "I'm going to put my dress on and brush my teeth and then we'll leave, okay?"

He nodded and tucked himself back into his pants, wrapping an arm around your waist before you could go very far. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you, smiling against your lips.

"Thank you, I love you," He whispered to you, nuzzling his nose against yours.

"Don't say thank you yet- you still have to get through this dinner and unwrap your last present," You said cheekily, gesturing to the lingerie set you had on. He gave you one last squeeze and let you off his lap, watching you walk towards the bathroom.

"Can I eat my birthday cake off of your ass?" He asked, staring at your backside.

"You're insatiable," You gasped in disbelief. You turned back around to stare at him, watching him wiggle his eyebrows suggestively. "Yeah- yes, you can."

Good thing you were also insatiable when it came to Namjoon.

(A/N: this is DIIIRTTYYY. Can you tell who my bias is? Feedback is appreciated!)

[nightowlfandom]

CEO! Min Yoongi- My Favorite Secretary

Why hello there!

ANON ASKS

Hi! Want to make a nasty petition pls. I want CEO Yoongi but he is so mean and strict with y/n he discharges all his frustrations and stress on her until he gets to fuck with her. I want a hard smut plsss

With these :

3, 15, 21, 60, 66

OOOOH FUN!!! LET’S GET INTO IT I was not too proud of this one...but here you go! Yo this one was LOOONNGGG, like shit. 

3- I said FUCKING BEG!

15- Whose gonna stop us? I own this fucking place, baby.

21- That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you? Look up at me like I’m your god.

60- I found that little journal you made about me. I think it’s so cute how you fantasize about me, darling.

66- I’m gonna corrupt your mind. I love to play with you like you’re a fucking violin.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

leggo!!

... (Monday)

“You’ll have to redo these reports.” a stack of papers was thrown onto your desk. You stared up at your boss in disbelief. 

“And just what’s wrong with them?” you raised an eyebrow. 

“There are exactly 15 typos in these reports and since I don’t care enough to go through them with you, I want them redone.” 

Min Fucking Yoongi. CEO of Bangtan Enterprises. You of course were a humble secretary who wrote reports on every idol and client that walked through the damn door. 

“I spent hours on those!” you tried to defend. “I already deleted the stupid file to save space on my computer!”

“You have until the end of the week.” he walked away without another word. 

“Sora didn’t even turn in her reports because she stayed up playing fucking Doki Doki Handsome Husband Haven and you gave her an extension!” 

Yoongi didn’t respond as he turned the corner. 

“Are you fucking kidding me.” you seethed. 

... (Thursday Afternoon)

“Y/N!” you heard the horribly scary voice. 

“What now?” you whimpered. You turned around in your chair to see your boss fuming. “Yes, Mr. Min?”

“YOUR REPORTS ON MY CLIENT ARE LATE!”

“No they aren’t! They aren’t due for another three days!” you tried to defend. Everyone else was starting to stare. They all knew how they treated you and they all felt super bad that he chose you to bully. 

“I SENT AN EMAIL YESTERDAY SAYING I WANTED IT TODAY AT 10:00 IT’S NOW 2:00!”

“No you didn’t! I would have seen it-” you tried to speak.

“YOU HAVE TWENTY MINUTES TO HAVE IT DONE OR YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR JOB.” 

“Y/N, don’t cry...you’re doing that thing you do when you’re about to cry.” your friend came over to your side. “Don’t waste your tears on that asshole.”

You inhaled dramatically, starting to type furiously through your blurry vision. You felt the tear slip down your cheek and you went to furiously wipe it.

...(Lunchtime: Thursday Afternoon)

Sobbing in the bathroom was a thing right?

Your two friends, Dahyun and Sana stood outside the bathroom stall as you sobbed into your hands. They were convincing you to not quit.

“Y/N, You know this is the only job that will let you live comfortably in this city. Other than being a teacher...and who’d want that?” Sana shuddered. “He’s done this more than TWICE now.” (...I’M NOT SORRY)

“I HATE HIM! I FUCKING HATE HIM.” You cried. “WHY IS HE ALWAYS MEAN TO ME!” You furiously wiped your eyes.

“Y/N, Open the door.” Dahyun sighed. “Let us in.”

The stall door slowly open and your two friends were met by a totally distraught woman. Your hands were stained with your eyeliner that you hand managed to completely wipe off leaving your tired face. 

“Y/N, he’s working you to the bone. You don’t even smile anymore.” Sana kneeled in front of you, taking your dirty hands into hers. “Why do you let him bully you?”

“Because if I don’t, I won’t have a job.” you sniffed. 

“Is someone dying in here?” you heard Miss. Hyuna, another boss walk in. “Aw honey, did a boyfriend break up with you...do you want me to ‘accidentally’ get his car towed?”

Miss Hyuna was both Sana’s and Dahyun’s boss, you guys just liked to have lunch together.

“It’s Mr. Min.” Dahyun spoke for you. “He’s working Y/N to the bone. He only ever bullies her and no one else. I’ve seen it personally.”

“Is that so?” she raised an eyebrow, looking less than happy. “Is that true Miss. L/N. Is Mr. Min treating you unfairly?”

You couldn’t speak, so you just nodded. 

“All he does is yell at and belittle her every chance he gets.” Sana looked at Miss. Hyuna.

“Hm, I’ll go talk to him, right now. If he fires you, he’ll answer to me.” was all she said before she walked away. She ignored Sana trying to hold you back from stopping her.

Hyuna walked out of the bathroom with fire in her eyes. She walked by your desk only to see what looked like an open notebook with the words ‘The Min Yoongi Files’ written in permanent marker on the first page.

“This must be her case.” she shut the notebook, ignoring the childish looking anime stickers on the inside page. “I should take this for evidence, I hope she won’t mind.”

“Yoongi!” Hyuna stormed into his office, shutting the door behind her.

“Hey Hyuna, what’s up?” Yoongi looked up from his lunch. “What can I do for you?”

“What’s this I hear about you mistreating a worker? One of YOUR workers?”

“Pardon me?” he raised an eyebrow. “Mistreating?”

“Two of MY workers are busy consoling Y/N L/N in the ladies restroom on their lunch break of all times because according to all three of them, you’ve been unfairly treating her!!” she glared. She slammed the notebook down on his desk. “This should speak for itself.” she sighed. 

“I don’t mistreat Y/N L/N, She’s insolent! She needs discipline.”

“SHE’S YOUNG.” Was Hyuna’s comeback. “You can’t treat her like she’s a piece of garbage just because she makes one typo!” 

“Her typos cost us time.”

“So does your shameless reprimanding her for missing a semicolon.” she rebutted. “Think about it! Are men always this stupid.” she looked him up and down before walking out of his office.

Yoongi watched dumbfounded. He took at look at the notebook she left behind.

“Property of Y/N L/N.” he read aloud. He flipped it open to the first page to see a bunch of shiny and matte stickers all over the inside cover. “The Min Yoongi Files? Speak for itself, huh?” (read more below the break)

...

(The Next Morning) (Smut Warning)

You begrudgingly trudged into the office. Not only were you tired, but you were dreading. You had multiple deadlines.

“L/N, MY OFFICE.”

“Shit...” you seethed. You walked past your desk into Yoongi’s office. He was sitting at his desk, flipping through the pages of a very familiar looking book. “You wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes, I did.” he shut the book and slid it over to you. “Care to explain?”

“Holy fu- ” You had forgotten you left your diary on your desk. How did he get a hold of that?

“ I found that little journal you made about me. I think it’s so cute how you fantasize about me, darling. Hyuna gave it to me thinking it was a list of every terrible thing I’ve done to you. I didn’t know it would be a list of every terrible thing you wanted me to do to you.” his face spread into a smirk. 

“You read my property-”

“My name is on it, which means it’s company property by association.” he was still smirking. “Y/N, Y/N Y/N...I didn’t know you were such a needy little girl. On my desk, in the breakroom? The elevator of all places?? I didn’t even know you enjoyed when I raised my voice.“ he raised an eyebrow. “You do realize I could have you fired for writing about me in such a way.”

“Yes sir.” you whimpered. “I’ll have all my sh-..stuff off my desk by-”

“Y/N what on earth are you talking about?” he raised an eyebrow. “Surely you don’t think you are fired.”

“I’m sorry?” you raised an eyebrow, becoming very confused. 

“Even though I’m an asshole, a big jerk, and the bane of your existence, you still want me?” he raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you have more of a backbone than I thought. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to miss a chance to break that spirit of yours.” he rose to his feet and walked around his desk to face you. “Get over here.” he urged.

He grabbed you by the hand and yanked you to his chest. He crashed his hot mouth over yours, capturing you in a kiss. He held both sides of your face gingerly. In a shock, you held onto his blazer jacket to stop from falling over.

“Hmm.” he moaned. 

“Mr. Min!” you gasped. “We can’t- I’m your secretary!! And I don’t know if you’re aware of this but you hate me.”

“ Whose gonna stop us? I own this fucking place, baby. “ he laughed manically. “And who the hell said I hated you? Plus you want this. I know you do because you wouldn’t have written about me throwing you on my desk and eating that little pussy...fuck that was my favorite story to date.” he spoke in a babyish voice. “Shit I’ve always loved what that ass does to me.”

You felt yourself melt in every way. The thought that someone would storm in didn’t even cross your mind. He back you up against the table, sitting you on the desk. Yoongi tore off his blazer and hastily undid his necktie.

He broke away from you, allowing you to suck in air. You took a deep breath as you felt your lips. He practically tore his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere to reveal that body. To say you were taken aback was the understatement of the century.

“ That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you?” he smirked as you stared him down “ Look up at me like I’m your god” he quoted the exact words from the entry you had written just 5 days ago. 

“Oh, you read the whole thing.” you squeaked. “I am so fucked.” you whimpered.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve been needing a good way to unleash my stress.” he shrugged. “This is perfect..” he motioned, tugging the hem of your shirt, playing with and unfastening each button. “I can take out my stress and you get to feel the real thing instead of writing shameless fan fiction.” he laughed. “Don’t make any mistakes,” he drank in your body. “I want this to be more than sex.”

Before you could say another word, Yoongi wrapped his arms around your waist again. He leaned down and softly kissed your lips. You just prayed he didn’t taste the bacon, egg, and, cream cheese bagel you ate this morning. You didn’t know what to do, so you shyly returned his affections.

“Come on, act like how you write about. Moan for me, grab my hair-” he mumbled through kisses. “Kiss me like you hate me.” he grunted. “Unless-...”

He abruptly yanked down your skirt along with your panties. “Maybe we should do this right. Spread em, secretary.”

He wasted no time in hooking your legs around his shoulders. 

“Mr. M-min.” you whimpered, feeling something wet trailed up your slit. 

“Shit...you taste so fucking good.” he moaned. “Damnit Y/N, you coulda told me you wanted me earlier.” he flicked his tongue against your clit. “Maybe if you had a good fuck, your reports would be more punctual.”

“That report wasn’t due and you know it.” you found it in you to reply. You tilted your head back, feeling his fingers be introduced into your tightness. “F-fuh”

 “Come on, you love this shit.” he laughed, lashing his tongue against you. “Beg for me, beg for my mouth, beg for me to make you cum.” he moaned into your heat. “I said FUCKING BEG! ” he thrust his fingers even deeper. “Come on, scream my name.”

“M. Min, I- we- you....”

“Not that...my first name...fucking say it I wanna hear it. I wanna hear if its as cute in my mind when I read how I made you squirt all over my fucking desk.” he kept moving his mouth and fingers against you.

“Y-yoongi.” you obeyed. This only encouraged him.

 “I’m gonna corrupt your mind. I love to play with you like you’re a fucking violin.” he giggled.

(3 days later... )

You were sitting at your desk when a stack of papers was thrown on your desk.

“There are 8 typos, fix them.” was all he said before he walked off. 

“Not again.” your work friend, seethed “what is it this time.“ She didn’t look up from her computer as you flipped through the pages.

My office, now secretary ;). Followed by a whole bunch of gibberish that lasted several pages.

“I’ll go talk to him” you rolled your eyes, taking the pile with you. You walked into his office. “Okay sir-” you began, walking through the door. You closed it behind you. “What seems to be the-”

Before you could talk any more, you felt his hand trail under your skirt. You felt his breathy laugh on the back of your neck. 

“I was hoping...we could go over your reports last week. I don’t think we got enough done, do you?”

(I was on a deadline....BUT I DID IT, my head is POUNDING)

[hermette-historian]

It's important to look deeply at the near-death experiences that the series has had in order to understand how it has grown, why it has changed the way that it did, and the reasoning behind some of the decisions that the members continue to make to this day. In looking at history we also find the answers to some of the greatest mysteries of the series, as well as some of the most frequently asked and vaguely answered questions. With that in mind:

What Really Killed Hermitcraft Season 1?

Episode 1: Death of a Bachelor

If you ask Xisuma why the first season ended, he will say in no uncertain terms that it was the loss of their founder and leader GenerikB. And he's right.

GB's final episode of Hermitcraft aired on April 20, 2013; the same date as Jessassin's, though that seems to have been pure coincidence. In it he states that he is leaving because while he is still in love with the game, the vanilla version just..wasn't doing it for him anymore. He was done with that world, ready for something fresh and exciting to be added, and to him that meant mods. To this day, he still plays modded Minecraft over on Twitch! But after he left Hermitcraft, he never really went back to vanilla. More importantly, he also implies that while the server may go on in his absence, he finds it unlikely to continue long term-true to his prediction, the series floundered without direction for another month before Xisuma uploaded his final video on June 2 of that year. Hermitcraft officially died with the disappearance of its namesake.

Here's where we look deeper, because while GB's departure may have been the straw that broke the camel's back it was by no means the only reason the season ended. Just digging deeper into each of his reasons for leaving, we can see the storm brewing as far back as November of the previous year.

Episode 2: The Call of Cthulhu

What happened in November, you ask? Modded Minecraft happened. More specifically, the extremely popular modpack Feed the Beast was released beta at that time, and the Hermits at large wasted zero time in getting in on the action. There was within a month a dedicated "Hermitcraft Feed the Beast" server, from which a few hermits were added to the vanilla counterpart retroactively: Juicetra and Skyzm among them. Other members included Hypno, Topmass, DMAC, and of course GB...FTB quickly consumed the working lives of the Hermits; it was the first experience many of them had with a real modpack, and it introduced mechanics they could only dream about having in the survival game (like flying, for instance). Content on the vanilla server began to slow down. It didn't help that none of the hermits were full time creators in 2013-their time was limited, and when they were able to spend it doing the things they wanted to do that ended up being FTB. Some members such as DMAC promised more vanilla content once the craze was over, but the "craze" never stopped and he ended up going full months without putting out vanilla episodes. The FTB server had its own issues and ended up dying of technical problems and rollbacks later down the line, but it alone played a massive part first in boosting Hermitcraft Vanilla, then slowly choking it to death.

But there is one more unsung murderer when it comes to the grave demise of Hermitcraft Season 1: the game itself.

Episode 3: If I Die Young

When Dinnerbone joined Hermitcraft in summer 2012, he requested that they begin to update through snapshots instead of waiting for full releases-presumably so that he could use them as a test server. The decision to honor his suggestion, however, was a divisive one. Some members jumped on the opportunity! GB and Red3yz in particular were beyond excited to test everything from new terrain generation to redstone mechanics. Others like Xisuma and Biffa were more cautious, preferring to wait until the game was ready to play in a way that would be fulfilling to them. Still others-Joe Hills among them-were excited at first...then fell quickly into the opposite camp when half of their house spontaneously went missing and occasionally they couldn't craft anything with the wooden planks. The snapshots proved to be glitchy as all hell and an administrative nightmare, creating little but endless stress for GB on admin duty and Hypno in the world edit repair department. But they stuck with it! Hermitcraft continued to update through every single snapshot from 1.3 until 1.5, each new week bringing a new set of uncertainties and challenges to overcome. For a group of creators that were already fatigued with vanilla and focused on something more interesting, it's easy to see how this kind of thing would force a divide between them and the server...nobody wants to create content on a game that's unnecessarily difficult on a good day.

Of course, there were other little things that drove the Hermits away from its original phase. A big one for GB that goes unmentioned was definitely the state of his base: the original that he spent nearly a year building was burnt to the ground during the conflict with TEA and redone in creative mode by Topmass and the Pimp my Minecraft team. Not only did this cause controversy among the fans like you wouldn't believe, it left little for him to do in the world where his own creations were largely gone altogether. Other Hermits like Jess ran out of inspiration or burned out in a more typical fashion.

Thus in June of 2013, just over a year after its original inception, Hermitcraft died.

On the third day it rose again, dragged by the ears near single-handedly out of the grave by the person with the most determination to see it succeed. A new era began of rebuilding on a solid foundation, with dignity intact and lessons learned, a stronger brand, a clear distinction, and no snapshots. Eventually, they would have a new leader. But these things will all take time.

Hermitcraft beta was doomed by being built on sand instead of rock. It was strangled by the game itself, a victim of circumstance and false promises and opportunity. It died and came back stronger. And once every year or two, it feels the need to do so again.

Here's to Season 8, and many more to come.

[tiny-katara]

here are the rest of the 16 songs!!! i literally spent so much time doing this and some may say it is a waste of time but someone had to do it and do here ya go! again, @coneyluke inspired the whole train of taylor and @burst-of-iridescent made me wanna do it all over again haha.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

The Way I Loved You

"He is sensible and so incredible/And all my single friends are jealous/He says everything I need to hear/And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better/He opens up my door and I get into his car/And he says, 'You look beautiful tonight'/And I feel perfectly fine"

i know a lot of people view this as a song about a toxic relationship and that's totally valid, but to me it's about actually feeling something and i think it works well for zutara. a*ng should be enough for katara-- she couldn't ask for anything better he's the avatar! but katara is just going through the motions.

"But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain/And it's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name/So in love that you act insane/And that's the way I loved you/Breakin' down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kinda rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you"

this first two lines have angry western air temple crush katara energy. she definitely was up at night cursing zuko for being pretty or whatever. and uhmm... acting insane works bc like jumping in front of lightning is pretty crazy and then forgetting about the person who shot the lightning is also pretty wild. breakin down is the catacombs and that moment we all know happened after katara confronted yon rha in "the southern raiders" where zuko was just suddenly comforting her when her adrenaline wore off. it just wasn't ever really hate that katara felt for zuko and it was just so strong and she didn't know it could be like that.

"He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake"

i love a*ng but he isn't exactly the most observant when it comes to katara's feelings lol. anyways, katara feels awful bc she's thinking that she should be upset that she isn't in love with a*ng but she just doesn't and that's even worse. she just can't stop comparing it to how much she felt around/for zuko and it's driving her crazy and she just wants it back and she lost it bc she just ignored it and went along with the flow, what she was "supposed" to do. katara didn't ever truly want to be the avatar's girl but she did it bc it was the expectation and she just regrets it.

Back to December

"Your guard is up and I know why"

oooo we got ourselves more western air temple zutara.

"Because the last time you saw me/Is still burned in the back of your mind"

The crystal catacombs are burned into the back or katara's mind and its why she can't trust zuko and also its burned and our boy zuko is a firebender like what else do you want me to say about?

"So this is me swallowin' my pride/Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night/And I go back to December all the time/It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you/Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine/I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright"

zuko having that moment where he takes a moment before he goes to apologize and join the gaang. he thought about the catacombs every single day and he thought it would be everything he wanted but it wasn't and now he just wants to have that same vulnerability he was able to have with katara before.

"These days, I haven't been sleepin'/Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin'"

he literally wasn't sleeping well in the fire nation lol like yeah he was definitely cursing himself for leaving.

"And then the cold came, the dark days/When fear crept into my mind/You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye"

i would count azula as the cold and zuko feared this would be the only home and then katara put all her faith in zuko and he just gave her a goodbye.

"I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile/So good to me, so right/And how you held me in your arms that/September night/The first time you ever saw me cry/Maybe this is wishful thinkin'/Probably mindless dreamin'/But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right"

uhhnmm tanned skin and sweet smile!? best girl katara?! i certainly think so and again just the vulnerability of the catacombs that zuko really regrets losing and zuko knows he probably can't get it back but he is gonna do his best and if he gets it he's never gonna let it go.

"I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't/So if the chain is on your door, I understand"

if zuko could he absolutely would. the moment he made that choice he regretted it on some level, but he does understand why katara can't trust him.

If This Was A Movie

"Last night I heard my own heart beating/Sounded like footsteps on my stairs/Six months gone and I'm still reaching/Even though I know you're not there/I was playing back a thousand memories, baby/Thinking 'bout everything we've been through/Maybe I've been going back too much lately/When time stood still and I had you"

i always imagine that while katara is healing aang she has a bunch of quiet time to herself and she just can't stop thinking about zuko. she just really wishes he'd come with her and thinking about how different everything would be with him and how understood she felt in the catacombs with him. she just can't stop and it's driving her a little crazy.

"I know people change and these things happen/But I remember how it was back then/Locked up in your arms and our friends were laughing/'Cause nothing like this ever happened to them/Now I'm pacing up the hall, chasing down your street/Flashback to a night when you said to me/Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you/Not before I knew how much I had to lose"

this makes me think that katara told the others about her experience with zuko and they were all just kind of like "haha zuko is evil" and she's just kind of like "yeah..." but feeling like there really was something there and it's bothering her that she can't just condemn him. katara still thinks nothing will change but she can't help feeling like she could've convinced him somehow.

"If you're out there/If you're somewhere/If you're moving on/I'll be waiting for you/Wary, since you've been gone/I just want it back the way it was before/And I just want to see you back at my front door"

i think that there would've been a small window of time where katara was half hoping zuko would suddenly show up out of the blue and tell her he made a mistake and he was sorry. she would tell herself that it wasn't going to ever happen and she grow the angry shell we see later on, but for a small period of time, she's just wishing zuko was with her.

"Come back, come back, come back to me like/You would before you said it's not that easy/Before the fight, before I locked you out/But I take it all back now"

this feels like a different timing than the rest of the song to me! it feels like zuko coming back and asking forgiveness and he's like "pls im sorry" and katara is like "it isn't that easy anymore" and he's just so frustrated with himself for locking her out and he just wishes he could undo his choice.

"Is that the kind of ending you wanna see now?/Baby, I don't like the ending/Oh, I thought you'd be here now"

again, katara has that small window where she wants zuko to come back and she doesn't like how things are and she just wants him with her bc of their connection in the catacombs. they just clicked and she felt understood and is thinking that maybe if he was there, a*ng wouldn't be like half-dead. it's not the ending she wanted when she offered zuko the spirit water.

State of Grace

"We are alone with our changing minds/We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds, or fades in time"

zutara after the war and they have changing mind and they're changing the future and and they are the ride or die kind of lovers.

"And I never (never)/Saw you coming/And I'll never (never)/Be the same"

i really don't think katara imagine in a thousand years that she would be dating the fire lord lol and they both definitely get to grow and change for the better with each other.

"You come around and the armor falls/Pierce the room like a cannonball/Now all we know is don't let go"

literally the crystal catacombs. i know i keep talking about it but literally zuko walks in (or is thrown in whichever) and then we've got our girl falling apart at the seams and in that moment they were like just hanging onto each other for deal life. not literally but ya know or at least i hope you know lol.

"Up in your room and our slates are clean/Just twin fire signs, four blue eyes"

i love the clean slate line. zuko and katara just totally have a fresh slate after "the southern raiders" and also the twin fire signs and four blue eyes makes me think of zutara with their steambaby! adorable <3

"So you were never a saint/And I've loved in shades of wrong/We learn to live with the pain/Mosaic broken hearts/But this love is brave and wild"

zuko was definitely never a saint lol and katara loving in shades of wrong sounds like her little vengeance move in "the southern raiders" and liking jet and just the mistakes she's made because of love or for love. they've learned to live with their pasts and who they are and pieced themselves together and they each think the other has a beautiful mosaic heart. and their love is brave bc they're gonna fight the whole fire nation to stay together and it's kind of a wild card kinda thing.

"This is a state of grace/This is the worthwhile fight/Love is a ruthless game/Unless you play it good and right/These are the hands of fate/You're my Achilles heel/This is the golden age of something good and right and real"

zutara is a worthwhile fight!!! they've experienced the ruthlessness love can have with m/ai and jet and it is low key fate they've met at all. they're leading everyone into a new golden era and zuko literally got hit with lightning for katara bc azula knew it would be his weakness and katara literally forgot about azula for like half a second to try to save zuko! it's amazing i love them.

I Knew You Were Trouble

"Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago/I was in your sights, you got me alone"

i am such a broken record but again katara thinking about what happened in the catacombs and thinking about trusting him was a huge mistake she never should have made.

"And when I fell hard you took a step back/Without me, without me, without me"

she trusted him completely and then he just joined azula!!! how dare he!!!

"And he's long gone when he's next to me/And I realize the blame is on me"

she's going through that whole "he was tricking me the whole time" and "he lied to me and used my mother against me!!!" and is blaming herself for putting faith in him.

"'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in/So shame on me now"

lol the way she says zuko when he tumbles into the catacombs is so funny bc she sounds half-shocked that he's there and half-relieved that someone is with her and then just scowls at him.

"Pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why/You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning/Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street/A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be/And now I see, now I see, now I see"

zuko comes back and she's all like "nO you helped hurt my friend and you went back to the fire nation! you moved on to 'better things' and you used my feelings against me!" or something like that.

"He was long gone when he met me/And I realize the joke is on me, hey!"

again she's just like blaming herself for making a bad choice in the catacombs.

"And the saddest fear comes creeping in/That you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything,"

katara still holds that little hope she's trying to ignore that zuko was being honest about his mother. it was nice to know someone like her and if that wasn't real she would be distraught, so she just tries to pretend that it doesn't exist.

I Almost Do

"I bet/This time of night you're still up/I bet/You're tired from a long hard week/I bet/You're sittin' in your chair by the window/Looking out at the city/And I bet/Sometimes you wonder 'bout me"

this song is one of my personal favorites and has been since like... idek but it's been one of my favorites since i was younger in the like around the 1989 era, but that's not the point. this about zutara not me.

this has the energy of tragic post-war zutara. neither of them made the first move and they're each at home thinking about the other and wondering if the other felt the same way they did.

"And I just wanna tell you/It takes everything in me not to call you/And I wish I could run to you/And I hope you know that every time I don't/I almost do"

they both attend peace summits and such and run into each other and just pretend that everything is totally fine and good and that they're not secretly dying to shout about how much they love the other. it's so sad guys </3

"I bet/You think I either moved on or hate you/'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply/I bet/It never ever occurred to you/That I can't say "Hello" to you/And risk another goodbye"

zuko starts dating m/ai to get his council off his back and katara thinks she'll be fine but can't stand it bc she doesn't know its like "fake" and just stops talking to him and stops showing up at things zuko will be at to try to make it easier on herself. zuko is heartbroken and he tries to talk to her and send her letters and he asks sokka about it who just has no idea what's going on and it's just a mess and making me sad.

"Oh, we made quite a mess, babe/It's probably better off this way/And I confess, babe/In my dreams you're touching my face/And asking me if I wanna try again with you/And I almost do"

katara spends time thinking about all the ideas they had and all the fights they went through to get them approved and how they've fought together improve the world but it's for the best if she wasn't with zuko bc the fire nation isn't ready for someone like her and she's terrified that if she ever sees him again her resolve will crumble and she'll be confessing and a disaster.

"I bet/This time of night you're still up/I bet/You're tired from a long hard week/I bet/You're sittin' in your chair by the window/Looking out at the city/And I hope/Sometimes you wonder 'bout me"

same thoughts as beginning but it's both of them hoping that the other is thinking about them.

i'd like to think that one day zuko has enough and he pulls a surprise visit to the south pole and demands to know why she hates him and what he can do to fix it bc all she has to do is name it and it's done. katara just does exactly what she was afraid of and confesses to everything and he's like "that's it???" and then he kisses her or somethin and they're happy bc i am incapable of dealing with sad endings lol

Coney Island

this the song i am maybe the most excited about bc it has been setting off my zutara vibe detector for so long.

"Break my soul in two looking for you/But you're right here"

they're both looking for the one and they get with a*ng and m/ai bc they think that's it and they both realize it's been each other the whole time. ofc it's when they think it's a little too late.

"And if this is the long haul/How'd we get here so soon?/Did I close my fist around something delicate?/Did I shatter you?"

and they just don't get how they've realized that they're looking for the other exactly so quickly. they expected to have to explore it further but they just know that zutara is for them. they both spend so much time thinking about how stupid they were for not choosing zutara and worry that they've ruined their chances and that they've broken the other's heart.

"And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island/Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"/The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go/Sorry for not making you my centerfold"

fun fact you can replace "i'm sitting on a bench at coney island" with "i'm sitting on the dock at ember island" and i do that sometimes when i'm singing alone in my car. but yes they just kind of sit down and think about their time on ember island before the end of the war and regretting again just not choosing each other.

"Over and over/Lost again with no surprises/Disappointments close your eyes/And it gets colder and colder/When the sun goes down"

they just keep missing each other and also!!! the sun going down?!?! zuko is the sun and he's leaving and katara is cold i will not be swayed.

"The question pounds my head/What's a lifetime of achievement/If I pushed you to the edge/But you were too polite to leave me?"

zuko wondering what his achievements even mean if he just pushed katara away when that's that's what he wanted and just if she only stayed around him was bc she was trying to be nice and keep things together and he just-- crisis time guys.

"Will you forgive my soul/When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?"

forgiveness is big in zutara like we are all suckeres for the ember island forgiveness hug. i know, you know it, we all know it makes us weak. but forgiveness forever in zutara?? excellent even tho it's kinda sad...

"'Cause we were like the mall before the internet/It was the one place to be"

this is one i can't exactly explain but it feels right. zutara was just good and they loved their time together and just wish they could go back to that time even tho it's passed them by.

"Were you waiting at our old spot/In the tree line, by the gold clock?/Did I leave you hanging every single day?"

after all the peace meetings and such they would meet in a spot and talk. they always went there afterwards, but zuko can't get there afterwards bc he's so swamped and katara is stuck waiting endlessly for him to show up. very sad.

"Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?"

not zuko making katara sad bc she's associated with blue. it's all i can think of when it comes to this line.

"And when I got into the accident/The sight that flashed before me was your face/But when I walked up to the podium/I think that I forgot to say your name"

thESE liNEs drive me wild. zuko having an assassination attempt and katara is just flashing through his mind even though she's literally not there and he can see everything he could've had with her and he's just a mess bc he knows he should've seen m/ai in that moment and everything they would’ve missed out on had it been fatal but he didn't.

katara just wishes she'd had the strength to walk up to zuko, fire lord zuko, and tell him everything she knows now bc he's what she's been wanting and searching for all along but it's too late now and she's stuck with her choices and is just going along bc it doesn't feel like it matters who she's with if it isn't zuko.

again, i like to think they do confess and figure things out bc i can't do sad endings, but my favorite way they do confess is that zuko goes to tell katara about what happened with assassination attempt and ask her if he's going crazy and before he can actually say anything she just says it all and everything about how she's feeling bc she can't keep it in anymore and he's like "oh okay bc i was worried i was literally losing it" and then they're happy <3