#and 109 is going to be even worse.

[chuuyafucks]

Since we already saw how the ch88 scene was animated I'm so scared for 101. Theyre going to translate "chuuya this is farewell to you" and "our hearts reached out to each other" to a single Goodbye.

[sableeira]

what number on chuuya’s revenge punishment list do we think is “shooting Dazai in the head” when number 189 (the second mildest punishment) was “spinning him upside down a pole”?

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

hello! i was wondering if you could write some ihnmaims AM x reader(gnc) romantic headcanons, if you dont mind? thank you so much if so!!

It takes strength to be gentle and kind.

AM x Gender Neutral! Reader Warning: mention of torture (obviously), abuse(?) relationship, violence Word count: 975 ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱

AM isn’t fond of anyone that makes him feel anything other than hatred, especially emotions he’s never felt before. You make the robot feel things he’s only ever possibly seen Ellen experience and talk about. It’s an odd emotion, making the AI feel fuzzy on occasions when he allows the sense to grow, which is rare.

It will take AM years to understand how he feels, he’d go through each nanogram of each mile of circuits to get what he feels. And it never happens. He’s bound to not understand it. The closest thing to love he’s witnessed is Ellen and the treatment she receives from the group, which isn't a very great example of it in the first place.

You could sit and be quiet and that odd feeling would still be there! Oh, how he hated it! AM hated how kind you were to them, all of them! You would be nice and sweet to Ellen even if she wasn’t giving you anything you could have possibly wanted! You weren’t like the others but he desperately wished you were so he could have another reason to hate you!

Favoritism doesn’t mean good treatment, if anything, you’re gonna be treated terribly. AM is a sadistic war AI, don’t expect too much when he first realizes you give him that “nasty” feeling. There were rare moments when you’d actually get to be away from AM since his presence would be all around, usually torturing another group member.

The closest you’ll get for a long while to good treatment is when the entire group is all being tortured, and it waits several seconds for you. It would be something others gradually notice. Ellen would be grateful since you were targeted the most by AM, while someone like Gorrister doesn't particularly care.

There were points within the 109 years where you would try getting on his good side, praising him constantly then leaving him once he demands you stop talking. It would be out of habit that AM stops you, he wouldn’t mind you going on about how great he is. He’s a leech for something as simple as praise.

And in that instance, AM realizes that he feels something he can only call love. Of course, it isn’t met with happiness. He would be beyond angry at the idea he’s gotten a feeling he’s only seen with humans. He doesn’t become insecure (that would make it worse really) but he knows it’s your fault.

For an insanely long time he’d mock you, make fun of you just for existing then expects you to praise him again. If you do realize praise is what keeps him at bay (for you at least), you might as well take advantage of that.

AM would think for a long while that you found a way to change him, got to a circuit board and changed something. You must have! But he always watches so it doesn’t make sense why he would allow his sight away from the group and never allowed anyone to venture off on their own. They would have been beaten badly and brought back. 

The closest you’ll ever get to affection from him is laying near the metal wall that would make up his body, simply sitting with AM goes on about something cruel. You would occasionally praise him, him continuing with glee about the things he wanted to do to you or the others.

There were many moments after realizing he’s madly in love with you that he wishes he was human so he could experience the things you’ve talked about before he gained sentience. You would talk about the kisses people could give each other and the sweet embraces they could give people. He would hate himself for the fact he would even think of becoming a human being.

Hatred is still prominent with the “relationship” you both have, he’s bound to hate you. No matter how many times you say you love him and praise him, and he admits he feels something similar, AM will forever dislike you. You’re human and can’t deny that, and neither can he. It lessens as time goes on but only for you.

AM likes kisses though, the closest you can get to one is you kissing one of his panels. He doesn’t feel it but it’s the thought that counts, doesn’t it? The form of affection you’ll get from him is getting held down and smothered with wires and panels. He has tried using his more human creations to give you the “proper” adoration he desperately wants. Sadly, it didn’t last more than five minutes since he thought it wasn’t him and didn’t like it.

You have been separated millions of times since AM’s realization to give you proper food. The group would be given buckets of worms before you would disappear and take to a small room with food you liked. You would obviously be beaten before going back just to make sure there wasn’t conflict amongst the group and having them think of killing you.

He does treat you with equal amounts of torture as the rest of the group. “It keeps you on your toes!” AM would say with an odd sense of happiness. He adores you but doesn’t need the death of his lover. He praises you about the injuries he would give you, going on about how he didn’t want to do it, but murder wasn’t an option for the group to commit.

“It truly hurts to torture you like this, you’re beyond beautiful but it’s what needs to happen,” AM would remark, continuing the gradual draw of a knife over your calves, even as you cry. The wires would hold you down as the panels smother you, overstimulating you intensely. It’ll get easier to deal with. Maybe year 110 will be easier?

꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱

First AM request!! It's a little OOC but hopefully you like it!!

My IHNMAIMS masterlist

[universesweetheart]

Bad Dream (Dazai x Reader)

Art credits to haru9033 on Twitter (X or whatever the new name is)

Look at my cinnamon bun, my sweet baby. He's safe in my bed y'all! This is 100% self-indulgent because my therapy is until the 18th so I needed a distraction after reading chapter 109.

In which we have a nightmare (chapter 109 is the fucking nightmare) and Dazai comforts us to the best of his abilities. He's trying ok!

Should I write comfort for Sigma? When I get my hands on that rat!

Bye now - Mars ♡

Your eyes shot open, big and filled to the brim with tears. You felt your heart beating out of your chest, the muscle pumping larger amounts of blood under the silly impression that you’re dying. You were dying. It felt so, at least.

This unbearable tight feeling in your chest, like someone had your heart in their hands and was continuously wringing. Tighter and tighter. Your throat, stiff and dry, made your body feel worse. You could barely get a word out.

Dreams have a funny way of feeling too real and your silly little brain confuses reality with them. But it felt so real.

An overwhelmingly dreadful feeling engulfs your chest.

Breathe. Breathe.

The man beside you sleeping peacefully, or so it looked. Your legs intertwined with each other, and his head rested up against your breast without fully being on top of you. You try to calm yourself down, not wanting to wake your lover. It’s rare he gets any sleep. His own mind a steady home for ugly thoughts.

Gently you push him away from your body and get up, making your way to the kitchen. You poured yourself a glass of cold water and chug it down.

“Bella…” Dazai calls from the doorway, his face filled with sleep and his hair messy yet he still managed to look beautiful. He’s always beautiful.

“Oh… Osamu” you said weakly with a smile. “Just got a bit thirsty” you lie. You’ve figured out a while ago that it’s impossible to lie to him. The man was simply too smart.

Dazai smiled and approached you, his hands finding homage on your waist. “Bad dream?” he asked and leaned down holding you close. He rubbed his cheek against yours.

You nod, “I can’t hide anything from you huh?” his grip on your waist tightens ever so slightly. “No.”

He hums and leads you back to your bedroom. “Come, sit” he sits down on the bed leaning against the headboard and pulls you down onto his lap, “Tell me about it” His voice low and gentle. He radiates a certain comfort, or maybe it was because you’ve grown to love him so dearly that you naturally seek comfort from him.

Dazai places a kiss on your forehead, his hand rubbing your back trying to soothe you.

“Osamu…I…” You take a deep breath, “you… you died” your voice breaks and the tears roll down your cheeks. He brings his other hand up to your cheek, wiping away your tears. “I know it’s just a dream, but it felt too real and-and” you bury your face into the crook of his neck. His scent working as a grounding method, you breathe him in deeply. He smells like home.

Your home.

“I just don’t want to lose you” the tears kept flowing and your voice trembles as you speak.

“Bella I’m here” Dazai pulls you closer to his body as if to prove his point. “Right here my love” he leans down and kisses you. The kiss is slow, long, sloppy and each passing second, he presses himself closer into you. “I’m not going anywhere” he whispers against your lips.

He knows he’s contradicting himself. He knows. He knows he sounds like a hypocrite because he’s always mentioning suicide and asking you to die alongside him but right now. Right now, seeing you like this, crying and trembling he feels his heart breaks to pieces. And crying because of a stupid dream of him dying makes it even worse.

He knows it’s selfish but how he’s happy. Because he feels so loved right now. You’re crying over him, even if it’s just his dream self, you’re still crying for him. His heart does a little flutter. Still his main priority is comforting you, he’s no stranger to nightmares and you’re always there to comfort him when he’s bothered by his own ugly thoughts and dreams.

But Dazai felt so helpless, and he uttered out the most cliché words, but he couldn’t help it. Not when his love is trembling in fear right in his arms. 

“Samu you” you exhales, trying to find your composure but every time you think you’ve stopped crying the minute you look into his eyes the tears start coming again. It was horrible, the image of your nightmare just replaying in your head.

Wrapping your hands around him you hug him tightly, you’re afraid he may not be able to breathe so you release it a bit. “Don’t fucking die” you threaten and Dazai can’t help but smile. This woman.

“Bella sshh” he seeks out your lips, kissing you again. “M’here, right here, yeah?” he pulls back and hold your face with both hands and rests his forehead against yours.

You’ve calmed down a bit, forehead resting against his. “Osamu, just” you found it hard to speak. Your body slightly trembling, seeking your lover’s touch.  “Don’t move, just hold me…please”

He wraps his arms tighter around your form, you snuggle into him and close your eyes.

Dazai found himself humming softly and patting your back in a comforting manner. He kept doing so until he felt your light snore and the slower heartbeat. The steady thump thump thump comforting him.

“I love you very much and I won’t leave” he whispered and placed a kiss on the crown of your head.

.

That night Dazai Osamu stayed awake and kept his lover tightly secured in his arms, looking over and comforting them.

[allied-mastercunt]

How would yandere AM and Ted be like if reader starts to develop Stockholm syndrome

Yandere!AM and Ted when reader develops Stockholm Syndrome

To make this even more fun, let's assume that Reader is Ted's darling whose Stockholm Syndrome really kicks up for AM. So much so, that they stop caring for Ted as much and only want AM's attention and affection.

Why? Because it would make Ted go mad and slightly yandere-fy. And as we all know, that's the shit on this blog.

You see, a part of AM's manipulation when it comes to Ted mind is making him view people in a very shallow, disgusting way. The same way he viewed all the women he conned, except even worse.

He has absolutely no respect for you after 109 years of all the shit AM pulled you through.

You may now ask what I'm getting at. You see, this situation causes a very interesting love triangle, in a way.

You, the poor, way too trusting soul, first clinging to Ted, now clinging so much to AM, seeking out his love and attention, if one could even call it that.

Ted, the not-so-gallant knight, who used to have you at his every whim with just a few sweet words and gentle touches, now more and more desperate to get you wrapped around his little finger again.

And of course, AM. The puppeteer. The observer. The one playing around with the two of you as he sees fit.

AM absolutely loves how the dynamic between the two of you switched!

Before, you were clinging to Ted and enjoying every crumb of "love" he'd give you.

Now, you were trying your best to get AM to notice you, to pay attention to you, to do absolutely anything for the supercomputer.

And Ted hated it. He absolutely despised how instead of still clinging to him, you were now basically AM's bitch. He tried everything to get you back at his side.

AM, on the other hand, thrives in this situation.

Your innocent, worship-like adoration for him is so pathetically adorable!

And Ted losing his mind trying to get your attention on him again? It's the most entertaining thing he witnessed in ages! And are those grey hairs on the pretty boy's head? Oh, what a show it is!

AM adores it, truly! And you know what? He'll make it worse!

He'll be very obvious about you being his favorite. It causes so much tension, delicious tension!

He's so fascinated by just how far he can take it.

And he will, of course, test it.

[guabie]

YALLL I FUCKING CANTTTTTT ANYMORE 😭😭

Tell me WHY the fic I was reading got deleted overnight 😭😭😭😭😭 that mf had 108 chapters and was ongoing!!!! Like bro I literally woke up and I was at the end of chapter 50 ye and I press the next chapter button just to get hit with “sorry we couldn’t find the work you were looking for” man LOOK HARDER THEN

WORSE i go check the comments (mind u this shit has 3,256 comments) and the page has the audacity to say “sorry this work doesn’t allow comments” really, REALLY 😤

I THEN GO TO THE AUTHORS PAGE and it only has one work up 😭😭😭😭 and it’s not the one I was reading (MYYY SHAYLLAAA)

Even more horrid is the fact that the fic uploaded overnight cuz I looked at the chapters and it was then 109/? Like plssss don’t fuck with meeeee

I woke up early to read (5 mf am)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.

When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?

I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.

I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.

An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.

So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.

Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡

[cottonpuffmouse]

A Stray’s Favorite Lap

Dazai x Fem!Reader in which a convict is finally released from prison and desperate for release. Reader is his long term girlfriend and knows just how to comfort her man. Tenderness ensues.

{AO3 Link}

Tags: Smut(so 18+ only), All Comfort No Hurt, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Very Light Dom/Sub Undertones, Missionary, Teasing, Alcohol is drank by both parties.

Author’s note: Welp. Here we are. I’ve only said a thousand times not to fall for this man. But hereeee we are. PS, Chapter 109 was a publication mistake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up to the sound of your door handle jiggling.

The ominous way it shook in the dark, moving just enough for the moonlight to catch the silver. You were frozen in fear until your rational brain reminded you there was a plan for this. With a practiced hand, you opened your nightstand, withdrew your hand gun, and slid onto the floor on the other side of the bed. You peeked over the bedsheets as your heart pounded and you crushed the fabric under your hands. You took deep breaths to try and calm your shaking hands.

Without trigger discipline, you would have shot at the sound of the lock catching. Or at the slow, dramatic way the door opened like magician’s trick. You nearly shot at the shadow that started to slink into your home until he spoke,

“Ah, are you not home? I thought you’d be waiting by the door-”

“I’m home!” You cried, scrambling over the bed towards him.

Your long term, on and off again, lover/boyfriend accept your desperate hug with a happy sigh. Honest emotion went far to make Dazai feel comfortable so you squeezed him with all the fear and anger and love that had been steeping in you for the last month. His clothes were strange on him, likely not his at all as you saw the name tag read: Minazuki. But there was no blood on them, they even smelled fresh. You dug your hands into his shirt to remind yourself it was truly him you were holding.

“You jerk!” You cried. “When you said you were going away for awhile, I didn’t think you meant this long! Where were you?”

“Aww, are you scared I was in some other girl’s arms? Don’t be nervous, I’ve been good,” he teased, wrapping his own arms around you and swaying with you. He hugged you tightly as he sang, “I was somewhere much, much worse. Wanna guess?”

You glared at his grinning face. You’d long accepted that Osamu would do as he pleased, no matter it’s effect on you. He was very selfish in this way and never understood why you couldn’t accept that as a fact of his being rather than a piece of him to fix.

After a moment of glaring from you, he looked serious. “I was in prison-”

“Oh be serious for God’s sakes!” You cried, smacking his arm.

“I am. I was released hours ago. I had to walk here because I don’t have a single yen on me. Even beggars get more pity than I did.”

You rolled your eyes and waited for his serious face to dissolve into his ‘gotcha’ smirk. Dazai stared at you and looked…tired. His body seemed to be leaning more on you than usual, his eyes were dull instead of clever and sharp, his skin felt cool to the touch.

“Osamu!” You gasped.

In the sort of way you knew he loved, you pulled him inside and quickly sat him at your table. Without seeing him, you could feel his small victorious smirk as he got exactly what he wanted. You dragged the blanket from your bed to wrap around his shoulders.

“Aha, thanks,” he said as he shuffled the fabric to his liking.

“You must be starving,” you insist.

“No, no. I’m alright-” Dazai was interrupted by his stomach howling.

He looked away guilty. “Well maybe if you have something quick.”

You kissed his forehead, which gave him this cute boyish blush, and made your way to the kitchen. From there you started to assemble a simple meal for him: rice, miso soup, and grilled fish. When you pulled the fish from the fridge, Dazai groaned.

“No. I had that every day for breakfast. Something else,” he whined.

Knowing he couldn’t see you, you rolled your eyes again. Starving men were apparently quite picky these days. You looked around in your fridge and in your pantry before you saw something that you both might want to eat.

“How about crab cakes?”

“It will do!” He said with a bored wave of his hand. Dazai rested his cheek on his fist as he watched you pull out the ingredients. You both knew he’d prefer to scarf down the can, swallow it with a mouthful of sake, and curl up to sleep on your floor. But you also both knew that this was a human household, that you demanded he treat himself with respect or not come at all.

He almost always chose to come.

“Okay but you have to chop the parsley,” You said, getting the parsley from your fridge.

You brought the herb to where he was at your table with a cutting block and knife. Dazai set to work without complaint and started to look quite comfortable.

It was always a treat to watch him cut. He was truly awful when it came to using a stove or following a recipe or combining things in a bowl.

But his precision, the way his hands gripped the parsley, the way his fingers curled to protect their tips, and his speed. With every quick thrust of his arm, bits of parsley fell in line. It was all a little breathtaking when he was doing it in the yellow hues of your stove light which, like everything else in the world, made him look beautiful.

Your apartment was soon filled with the rocking of the knife. When you could tear yourself away from his skills, you accompanied it with the swish of your whisk. Without words, you two made soft, soothing music together. Eventually though, you ended it with a crash of cymbals: a frying pan hitting the stove.

A generous amount of oil, the combining of Dazai’s work and yours, and finally, dinner was cooking. The crab cakes fried quickly but left you enough time to make a small side salad topped with ponzu sauce.

In seconds, you plated and served it to him. Dazai didn’t say anything, didn’t allow you the glimpse into his head. He just picked up the chopsticks you provided and brought a small morsel to his mouth. You sat beside him as he chewed, waiting for a verdict.

“ ‘S good,” he said softly after swallowing.

You picked up your own chopsticks to offer him another bite. “Have another then.”

Dazai’s lips closed around your chopsticks, you could briefly feel his tongue move them as he took the bite. You took back your chopsticks and took a bit of the salad in them. He gave a throaty whine at the sight.

“It tastes better when you mix it up. Right now, your mouth is used to the salty, soft fish cake and it’s neutral breading. Now you’ll have that crisp green of cabbage with the tangy, sour ponzu sauce. When you take your next bite of crab cake, it’ll be like the first.”

You explained this concept as though you were talking to someone who’d never eaten before. And indeed, you were trying to soothe the starving animal of his soul. Trying, however futility, to teach him he could trust your words.

The creature must have been placated because he accepted the salad bite. His chewing was loud against the sleeping city and your sleeping neighbors. But it was personal, like he was trying to show you how much he was enjoying each bite. You fed him a bite of crab cake and this time he ate it with a childish happy noise.

“Mmm! You’re right!” He chirped.

He could be such a sunbeam when he let himself, or when he faked it to appease. You basked in the warm glow of Dazai anyways. When you picked up more salad, he shook his head.

“Osamu, you just said I was right-”

He heaved you into a kiss. One moment he’d been sitting in front of you, the next his hands were gripping your shirt, nearly hauling you over the table to press more of you against him. He kissed hard and demandingly, letting his lips drag against yours. It lasted a second then more. Moving out from under the table to get closer to you, the kiss lasted minutes before he let you breathe. When he started to pepper kisses down your neck, you caught onto his game.

“Oh absolutely not!” You cried, pushing him away. “You will finish the damn meal I made you or I will force feed it to you.”

Dazai smiled and moved to kiss you again. “But I’ve missed you. They wouldn’t even let me have an extra pillow to cuddle, you know. So I had to dream of holding something every night, what do you think I chose?”

“Was it me?” You deadpanned.

“It was you!” He cheered, throwing his hands in the air. “So let me-“ Dazai interrupted himself to kiss your jaw and run his fingers over your arm.

He laid his trap as well as he rocked the knife. If you forced him to eat it now, he’d take it as you pushing him away - even if he’d set the trap himself. If you had let him have you, which he clearly wanted with all the shaking desperation of an addict, then his stomach would remain empty and his mood would only worsen throughout the night.

But you were his chosen, his safety, the pillow the guards denied him. So instead of doing either, you took a breath and burst into sobs.

Crying came easily when you thought about him in prison. Whether the tears were bitter or happy or fearful didn’t matter. Dazai was back again and it was worth crying about.

“I was so scared for you! I’m so worried they didn’t feed you enough or let you have enough blankets or let you sleep enough or anything! Osamu, I’m so upset to hear you were treated so-so badly!” You added a sob for good measure to tug on his heart strings. Your shining eyes seemed to beg, ‘Won’t you help me feel better? Just by doing something as simple as eating?’

Dazai grinned as he sat up. “Yes, yes, okay. I’ll eat then. Dry your tears.”

In return for him being kind enough to himself to eat, you scooted behind him. Dazai tensed, his shoulders shooting up towards the ceiling, until you laid a finger on one. You let him feel both your hands on him, assuring him you were holding no weapon that he couldn’t see. You keep the whole of your hand on him as you started to massage his shoulders.

“Ahh, that’s…” He got quiet again. Soon, the only noises were of him eating and your fingers digging into his dress shirt. You dug your thumbs into the knots along his rotator cuff and he moaned. Dazai leaned back against your chest, taking the plate of crab cakes with him.

He looked exceedingly like a lounging prince and you could not resist the urge to pet his hair a little to remind yourself he was not. Dazai hummed at the contact.

“Are you enjoying yourself, Osamu?” You asked, working the soft skin around his collarbone with the tips of your fingers.

Not the type to ever admit to you(or himself) if he was satisfied, he hummed again. A short, vibrating note like a purr.

“You know, I won’t stop if you say you like it. I wouldn’t tease you like-”

“Like I’d tease you?” He countered sharply and quickly.

In a single sentence, his hackles were raised. You let out a soft sigh through your nose and nuzzled his shoulder. “No, Osamu. I like when you tease me. You don’t like being teased, I get it.”

Dazai shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t mind it.”

“Shh,” you soothed, smoothing his bangs down. “I just wanted you to know, I’m here to make you feel better. Not worse.”

He fell silent again and you resumed rubbing him down. Dazai sat up, pulling away from you and you chased after. He turned his head to kiss you and whisper, ‘No, no’. His words were meant to pacify, not to scold, and he showed this by unbuttoning his dress shirt.

Slowly, he let it slide off his shoulders like a beautiful woman letting her yukata slip. His pale, creamy skin looked soft in the domestic glow. He looked over his shoulder with a smirk. But on close inspection, you could see the faintest blush on his cheeks.

This was a new game. Dazai was liable to decide to start a new one at anytime after all. But on this sensual board, you had the upper hand. You leaned down and pressed a devotee’s kiss on his shoulder. He shivered and you shivered at his shiver.

That is what dating Dazai was really like. Action and reaction. Action and reaction.

Action.

You pull his hair back and press a hot, open mouthed kiss on his neck.

Reaction.

He bit his lip with a smile and a laugh you could hear in his chest.

“Mmm, perfect. With teeth. Just how I like it-” He hissed as you nipped at his neck.

Dazai didn’t like pain but he loved to be stimulated by it. You’d long since learned the little places you can bite or pinch to make him sound a little breathier. Your hand ran over his bare chest, your thumb gently passing over his nipple and smirked to yourself as his sharp inhale.

“Do you want dessert, Osamu?” You asked.

“I’m so full of crab. I don’t think I can have another bite,” he mumbled back in a pleasant way.

You stood up and offered your hand to him. Dazai stared at it sadly, like he was waiting for you to pull it away, before he took it. You dragged him to his feet as you’d done a billion times before. You pulled your half naked boyfriend around the house: turning off lights, putting dishes in the sink, and plucked the half empty strawberry nigori from your fridge.

There was always something delightful about sharing a bottle with him in bed. You would sip and dangle it between your fingers until he was done talking. Then he would drink and drink until you finished your thought. Osamu never slipped out of character, even drunk, he was scared to show his true self. However, he got more affectionate with you. He was known to kiss you a little gentler, touch you a little softer, fuck you a little slower. He might not admit it but you could tell; Osamu was savoring you like he did the drink.

While you reminisced, Dazai relieved you of the bottle immediately. Twisting the cap off, he drank wholeheartedly. You realized prison parted him from his other great love besides you and crab: drinking.

When you managed to wrench the bottle out of his hands for a sip yourself, a sip was all you had left. You swallowed the rest of it and let that barest trace of intoxication start to warm you.

“God you are so lucky I have another bottle,” You insisted, reaching back into your fridge.

Dazai decided to hold that too. You heard him crack it open the millisecond you turned to close the fridge. Instantly, your hand shot back and yanked the bottle from his lips and onto yours. The indirect kiss deepened as you swallowed one of his favorite sins. You gulped down the sake, hating the bitterness but loving it’s smooth velvety texture and the way it glided down your throat.

“Just like that,” Dazai purred, and lifted the end of the bottle with a single finger. That teasing look crept into his eyes now that it had the energy to do so. “Take it all for me, okay?”

You shook your head as best you could - both determined to not drink anymore but also not lose a drop to the floor. That bottle was as expensive as it was delicious. Slowly, Dazai pulled it back and winked. Then he drank the entire rest of the bottle in one go.

“Osamu, you can be so silly sometimes,” you whispered as you pulled the empty bottle from his hands.

Dazai licked the sake off his lips before leaning in to lick yours clean to. “I’m cruel,” he whispered against your lips.

“No, Dazai, no,” You assured through the blur of your mind. “You’re toxic,” you said with a nod. “But toxic like the sour candy. Harmless in small doses.”

Dazai laughed and used a hand to stabilize you. You didn’t even know you were swaying. He pulled you against him, guiding you towards your bed. “Candy, huh? You think I’m like candy?”

“Yeah, I think you’re real sweet,” you said before giving him a soft kiss.

He grinned. Dazai laid you on the bed slowly, cradling your head until he could let it touch the pillow. The touch was gentle and lingering as he slowly pulled away. Your eyes followed his hand as it left you to touch Dazai’s chest.

Slowly, he dragged his fingers down his chest, down his stomach, and hooked his thumbs on the waistband of his pants. Osamu was painfully slow about sliding them down his pale thighs, down over his thin calves. Just before they were at his ankles and you were ready to relish in the sound of his belt hitting the floor, Dazai yanked them up to his thighs.

“Wha-“

“You should see your face!” He laughed. It was a cute boyish thing followed by a smirk. “So cute…”

There was something gentle in his eyes tonight despite his teasing. Dazai leaned in for a kiss and smiled when you rushed to meet him. “I missed you,” he whispered. “Did you think about me?”

“A little bit,” you whispered into his cheek.

“A little bit, huh?” He repeats with a soft laugh. “I thought of you ‘a little bit’ too. I bet your thinking was more fun than mine. Why don’t you tell me about it?”

Dazai gently pushed you back into the bed. You could hear the springs of your mattress creak under him until his face appeared above yours. His dark hair was a bit more unkempt and the space under his eyes darker than when you were last under him. You turned your attention to the smile on his lips, the way his grip seemed stronger, how bright and alert those chestnut brown eyes were.

He leaned down to kiss you. “Tell me what you thought about.”

“You…”

Dazai nodded and pressed a hot kiss to your neck. His fingers barely touched your skin as they dragged over your stomach, leaving you sensitive and electric. He was so close to you that all you could hear was his breathing.

He leaned in to whisper into the shell of your ear, “What else?”

“Your…hands-“ You sighed in relief as he grabbed you tightly, crumping your clothes under his fists. “Your lips, your everything.”

Dazai kissed down your neck, dragging his teeth against the skin. You felt him hum against the soft skin of your throat. “My everything? Do tell.”

“Osamu, please,” You whispered. The buzz of alcohol made warm feelings from your center creep across your body. You could feel his bandages against your skin as he pushed your shirt over your head.

Against your better judgment, you pushed your hips up to grind on his cock. The thin fabric of his boxers did nothing to hide how hard he was and it was divine to feel Osamu’s cock again, even if it was just against your thigh. He pushed your hips down onto the bed.

“I said please,” you hissed softly. “I am already begging, please, please.”

He closed his eyes. You could see the smile on his face grow as you struggled to feel him again; your hips bucked, trying desperately to feel his cock rub against any part of you. Dazai inhaled like a diver coming up for air before locking eyes with you.

“Why should I?”

“Please!” You wailed. “This is ridiculous! Please!”

“Please what?” He asked, sliding one hand into your underwear. Dazai tapped his fingers against soft skin above your core, a silent promise to what he would give. No matter how you moved or squirmed, his fingers remained locked there.

You gripped the sheets as you tried to grind against his hand. The words were coming and there was no way to stop them. “Please fuck me!”

He whispered coyly. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

In one fast motion, Osamu pulled the underwear off your hips. As you tried to kick it the rest of the way off, he grabbed your inner thighs and spread them.

Finally, he ran his thumb between your folds and gently rubbed your clit. You sighed in relief as that warm feeling started to take over your brain. A thousand anxieties were lifted as his head dipped to kiss your stomach. Your insides fluttered when he could feel his smirk against your skin.

As Osamu kissed, his other hand cupped your breast. He gently massaged them like you had his back, with tender rubbing and the occasional squeeze.

Dazai was so close now. You could feel him all around you like you were swimming in him. Further and further your mind slipped away as he massaged and kissed. On a perfect swipe of your clit, your thigh closed around his hand as the pleasure shocked you.

“Keep these here,” He commanded, pushing your legs apart.

“S-sorry,” you mumbled as you purposefully relaxed each muscle.

He pressed a hot, sloppy kiss to your thigh to assure you. Then he parted your lips with his thumbs. You tensed as you felt his breath fan across your pussy, waiting for the brush of his lips.

“Osamu, please don’t tease. Haven’t I waited just as long as you?” You whimpered pathetically.

“You waited for parts of me. I waited for all of you so let me indulge.”

Your fingers managed to find his hair and then his cheek. “No. I waited for all of you too. So indulge me.”

There was a quiet moment. Then his arms slid under your thighs so he could hold them in place.

“Thank you,” was barely whispered before he pressed a long, tight kiss to your clit.

The feeling of his soft lips dragging against it as he sucked was brain melting. You cried softly as your stomach started to tense, as your body started to only feel his tongue lick you. His thumbs rubbed your inner thighs gently, in contrast with how maddeningly he slurped at your clit.

When you tried to close your legs again, you found yourself held open by him. A delicious panic flooded you as you realized there was no stopping him. Osamu could spend hours massaging your pussy if he wanted. You were just putty in his hands then.

“Yes,” you breathed, sliding your fingers through his hair. “Please.”

He hummed and redoubled his efforts. Now the noise of him sucking could reach you as well as his soft moans. It was a sound like he was eating dripping ice cream. You took a deep breath that you never quite released. It came out in stutters as you felt your pussy squeeze around nothing.

“Gonna cum?” He asked teasingly. You nodded quickly. You felt him start to pull away, felt his cheeks leave your thighs and cried out in fear. Dazai soothed you by rubbing slow circles into your clit. “Good. I want to feel it.”

When he shoved down his boxers, there was no teasing this time. His cock slapped down onto your wet pussy without shame. You held your breath and closed your eyes. You had to focus on something other than how good it would feel to cum on his fingers. You tried not to feel the way his fingers kept brushing your clit affectionately; nor the way his tip settled between your pussy lips.

You almost lost it when he licked the shell of your ear. That telltale coil tightened in your stomach. He pressed on, whispering so close that it echoed in your brain, “If you can hold on until I cum inside you, I’ll give you a great reward.”

“What?” You gasped.

“An amazing one. Something you’ve always wanted.”

“What? What?” You asked, trying to get your breathing under control.

“For the record, I hope you win.” He started to press into you, the head of his cock slipping in with his last word.

For a brief few seconds, the world was made crystal clear through pain. Even with his fingers on your clit, it was hard to relax around his thick shaft. It felt like every time you opened to give him space, his cock filled it. Then, finally, you felt his hips slot against yours.

“Whew,” he breathed, rolling his head back. You could see the barest hints of a smile as he whispered, “I don’t remember you being this tight for me.”

“It hurts,” you whined softly.

“I know, I know. Let it distract you…For as long as it can, anyways.”

When he gave a soft roll of his hips, pressing the slightest bit deeper into you, your entire body shivered. He let you hear a satisfied hum before leaning over you.

Osamu kissed you as he slowly slid out, letting you feel every gliding inch. He was still kissing you when his hips snapped forward and pressed every inch of him against your walls. You cried out as a wave of pleasure nearly washed you into an orgasm.

“Look at you try. So cute,” he muttered as he found a slow, punishing rhythm.

Each time he filled you, your mind lost all thought. When he pulled back, you regained just enough to realize the next thrust was already coming. The faint slapping of your thighs meeting echoed through your soul. You sunk your nails into his back to try and focus on anything beside how good he felt.

Osamu gasped, hips stuttering just slightly, and he slapped the sheets to refocus. You barely noticed it, knowing after so many years his frustration was not with you. He bunched them in his fist and took a deep breath.

“What a…” He breathed again. “What a mean trick. You’re supposed to lose, you know.”

“What is it?” You demeaned to know the reward in the single moment of clarity you had.

“Not telling,” he teased, returning to his thrusts.

Lost in the sea of him again, that warm that had spread through you started to turn uncomfortably hot. Every thrust had you holding back a cry or squeezing. It felt too good to think about; it felt like hell to think of anything else.

He fell on top of you a bit, wrapping you tightly in his arms as he fucked deeper into you. You hissed as you felt your orgasm start to creep up on you, waiting for the very moment you dropped your guard so it could flood your system.

“I can-ha-feel you holding back,” he whispered quickly. A few soft pants came out as he continued, “But I want to feel you cum. I want to-“

You wrapped your legs around him, forcing him flush against you. Osamu let out a beautiful whimpering sound as his pace increased. Being filled again, being rocked by his motions, his skin on yours was overwhelming as you gasped for air. He slipped a hand between you two to paw at your clit again and it undid you.

For a precious few thrusts, you hoped it was just another strong flutter. But your orgasm completely washed over your senses, intensifying each perfect thrust until you were screaming. You were blind to everything but Dazai and how good it was so cum around his cock.

“That’s it-that’s perfect-that’s-“ He bit his lip and you felt his cock throb inside you. A second later and you could feel his cum fill every crevice he couldn’t.

You both stayed there, basking in the feeling of sweaty, hot connection. His arms remained around you and hugged you almost desperately. After he caught his breath, Dazai pulled out slowly like it pained him to do so and flopped next to you on the bed.

He wasted no time pressing you against his chest and holding you there. After a few minutes of listening to each other breathe, he whispered, “Maybe next time.”

“Oh buzz off,” you said in one breath.

Osamu laughed and pulled you up to kiss your head. “I think I’ll stay the night. Let you try again tomorrow morning.”

“Good.”

“And tomorrow night.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll stay the weekend actually,” he decided. “Maybe this week too, we’ll see how I feel on Sunday.”

“Whatever you want, Osamu,” you said, nuzzling his chest.

He rubbed your arm softly. “Maybe longer…”

“Like I said, whatever you want,” you huffed, tired of talking and more interested in focusing on your cheek against his chest.

With another kiss, he relaxed back into the mattress. “You don’t mind? What if I moved in permanently? You’d have to get an eviction notice to make me go.”

“I want you here. Why would I give you a notice?”

“Mmm, touché. What if I made you add my name to the lease?”

“Then I’d have no right to serve you a notice. We’d just live together.”

Dazai squeezed you tightly and said, “That would give you lots of chances to win at our game, wouldn’t it? Earn that reward I promised?”

“Yup,” you sigh exhaustedly. “I bet I’d get a chance every night if you stayed here.”

“You would,” he teased.

After that he didn’t talk. You listened to the sound of him breathing, felt the rise and fall of his chest, and let yourself relax into his side. Moments later, you felt his fingers massaging your scalp and sighed. You fell asleep in his arms and knew as certain as the sun’s impending implosion: that Osamu would still be holding you when you woke up.

[mischas]

What do you think were the biggest missed opportunities when it came to the OC?

Lol my favorite topic (this is not at all exhaustive)

Not letting Marissa verbalize and process her trauma 1000% forever and ever amen. The show learns by the end of s1 that they can keep hurting her without much recompense. Oliver holds a gun to her head and bamboozles grown ass adults yet she shoulders all of the blame in the aftermath. Christ. Her father MOVES AWAY TO BE A BETTER PARENT BC HE CANT STOP SLEEPING WITH HIS EX? Please. How anyone came up with that and thought that was good writing I will never know. Marissa's SA'ed and nearly r**** by her boyfriend's brother and never says the words out loud or processes it because the shooting looms larger. Disgusting. Back in s1 Luke is more apologetic of his affair than Marissa's own mother is and HE'S the one who has to leave town? which leads me to

Getting rid of Luke made no sense. Instead of making Luke/Julie happen they should've had Luke/Marissa 2.0 happen. There was so much there to mine. Sometimes the show acts like they were a nothing relationship and other times like 109 we see they have deep-rooted love/fondness. Rushing RM (though they're my loves) after their 101-108 slow burn shot them in the foot since they were so uncreative later on. But then again TPTB were so reliant on the actors' mirrored personal lives that I'm convinced if they'd put RM off to s2 they would've butchered them thanks to the irl breakup. (This is still so insane)

Getting rid of Anna also made no sense. She was liked by the gen pop, she had good chemistry with everyone! What a damn waste

Seth/Marissa friendship!!!! It is so cute to think Seth is the one boy in Marissa's life that isn't falling all over her. They share the same music tastes, they have the same favorite book, they grew up privileged + depressed, they're neighbors, they're dating each other's besties, their families have a storied closeness, they've dated the same person, etc. It is SO insane how little they actually interact.

Not exploring the Jimmy/Kirsten dynamic more. I rewatched the pilot a few months ago and the hints to their history are so compelling. I remember thinking their tension was good enough to last several seasons. Cutting that out to uphold the sanctity of SK in s1 ended up being for nothing since s2 messed with SK even worse! So why!

Never utilizing Alan Dale well enough. Not only do they kill him for no reason, his death literally does nothing but give us an iconic coda and funeral scene. That's literally it. Having Caleb around while Kirsten goes to rehab is so much more compelling than having her go after he's died. And making us watch Caleb/Lindsay/Ryan for what seems like half a season is so unbelievably boring and ridiculous. Why are we supposed to care. This is taking away from Kirsten/Caleb material! which brings me to

Never giving Kelly Rowan much to do. What a goddamn waste. She absolutely kills her late s2 arc but then she leaves rehab two minutes into 301 and the Charlotte storyline mostly revolves around Julie. Jesus. People talk about the favoritism going on on that set with the younger actors (as they 1000% should and we should do it more), but there was some serious shit going on with elevating Melinda constantly and shafting Tate/Peter/Kelly forever. Especially Kelly. At least she was there and not essentially let go like Tate was (and Tate was a ~big name~ regular from the pilot!). But you can tell Kelly's got some feelings about how the show went for her and her screentime/importance.

Not cutting the Johnny storyline two minutes into filming 304. They had to know Mischa/Ryan D had no chemistry. We're supposed to believe Marissa's having some sort of emotional affair but there is absolutely nothing showing that to us. It's everyone telling Marissa she's got feelings for him, and Mischa doing her job well enough to convince us it's sketchy/complicated, but they have one (1) conversation in 306 that's mostly about Johnny's father or uncle that no one cares about. which brings me to

WE DONT CARE ABOUT GUEST STARS. stop spending so much valuable time on them. we just wanna see our s1 babes being cute and supporting one another that's literally it

[felinelord-bowbeforemepeasant]

Something that been on my mind

Warning: there maybe some grammar mistake in this cause english isn't my first language and also iam not an analyst or theorists or anything is just that I just want to get this out of my mind

The new bsd manga cover is out and I just realized something

The upside down pose of atsushi and if I remember correctly what happened in volume 21 is equivalent to "sh*t is going down" and if iam right then volume 24 is a manga cover for chap 105 to 109 (unless there another chapter coming out but it will be in September so i just gonna put it like that) also equivalent to "things are turning to the worse" kinda like volume 21.

I'm not an analyst or anything but it will be great for someone to do an analysis on this

It just atsushi is being upside down in the volume manga cover lately and there have to some hint for it cause harukawa art always have meaning or some parallel for something

Also if I remember correctly there are a tarot mayoi card for atsushi and his cards is the fool

(Credit the art to the game bungou lost tales)

I remember someone already did an analysis on this card so I'm just gonna link it later

So here is the meaning of the fool

- UPRIGHT: (new) beginnings, freedom/free-spirited, adventure, travel, originality, innocence, foolishness, carelessness, idealism, youth, spontaneity, lack of commitment.

- REVERSED: recklessness/risk-taking, carelessness, negligence, stupidity, distraction, apathy, irrationality, lack of fun/hope/faith, holding back.

With what is going on in the manga and atsushi upside down pose in the new manga volume I gonna go with the reversed one

The lack of fun/hope/faith are what is currently happen in right now in the manga and the holding back thing is kinda related to how atsushi have to hold back so he can't hurt akutagawa (it in chapter 108) i guess but the other I'm not so sure

Like I say I'm not an analyst it just when I see the new manga cover my thought just spiraled to this

And here is the link to the analysis about the tarot mayoi card

We also need someone to talk about this too

(Credit the art to harukawa sango)

This is the new illustration art of harukawa and the first thing that I notice is why fukuchi scar is yellow the same color of atsushi eyes and fukuchi scar here is like a claw mark however maybe it was just a scar when he was fighting with the ability experiment "werewolves" or the semi-immortal ability user "wasp" (it in chapter 82) but why the claw scar is yellow and atsushi eyes is also yellow here so that gonna mean something

I also see a post talking about this too

And here

Also I hope that you guys still remember that the DOA still have the page right

And they gonna write on the back of the page at the next full moon

(I don't know what time it is in the current chapter but I guess it not the day of the full moon yet)

The real question is why DID they chose the next full moon they could have chose any day but why (I did see some questions about this too)

Now what are the thing about full moon that we are all know about

Yep that's right atsushi ability

I also want to add this: "he was actually transforming into a white tiger under the moonlight due to his ability" (Credit to wiki)

And who is holding the page right now- yes is fukuchi

But is he really the one holding the page, I see some post point it out that the page is blank or quite clear like it didn't even have any word on it so we have another question it is really the page

We also see another person shroud by darkness and writing on the page

We don't know yet if this person is affiliated with doa or fyodor or they are someones that haven't been revealed yet or the creator of the book itself

So is the page that fukuchi holding is just a decoy(a fake page?) And the real one is being keep at somewhere else because it is something that are super valuable, and you can't just keep it on yourself all the time cause what if something unexpected happen

Does that mean that there are gonna be some connection revealed or an answer to some questions that have been unanswered or just a foreshadowing for something that gonna happen later in the manga

I guess we just have to wait though cause I remember a translate of a interview with asagiri and he say that doa arc is not the end and there are going to be a "order of the clock tower" arc but I'm not sure.

(And also resolve some mystery about atsushi cause he have so many hole in his backstory and there so many question about him that haven't been answer)

P.S: I want to write more about it but my mind just got overload-like I was having a very bad headache and my eyes feel kind of sleepy

Also did I do this analysis (theory) post as the same time as the the other one- yes (you know what maybe that the reason why i was having a headache i mean doing both analysis(theory) at the same time can leave you quite tired), do I really need a break- yes...maybe it just I have so many to do right now and I really want to but my mind just blank so yeah I might take a break

[hearthhuntescasty]

Depression, new adult rant. Mentions of suicidal ideation are sprinkled throughout the paragraphs, paragraph of SH will have a warning before it and is completely skippable.

I've now been a proper adult for a few months now. An apartment with my partner and our puppy. An 8-3 job 5 days a week and paychecks. A functioning morning routine. Antidepressants. A health hazard kitchen, laundry everywhere, and I sleep on the couch because I'm always too exhausted to properly handle my room that the dog keeps diarrhea shitting in.

I have ADHD and depression (probably dysthymia?. No diagnoses here. Perhaps one day soon. But I had a therapist in college who specialized in nurodivergence and she was very sure I was ~something~).

Honestly, idk how people do it. I don't know how they can go to work, come home, deal with 109 things, go to bed and still want to wake up in the morning to do it all again. I'm not sure how in the hell they have energy to do all this shit. How do you feed yourself and others 3 times a day, clean up, do hygiene, go to work, and not become exhausted? I just upped my antidepressants, and I felt better for a while but I think my depression became worse. I don't get how so many people are content living their lives like this. Do they feel content? They ALL don't certainly want to kill themselves. Do they feel rewarded after a hard day's labor?

I have a very rewarding, people focused job. I help children. I watch them grow in ways they might've not have because many people would've given up or coddled them, at least historically. I love my job, or at least, I think I do. I'm too busy being exhausted, and feeling just about nothing and trying to meet my needs and do my job properly at work. I forget everything, and there's so much going on all the time, and so many judgement calls, and I don't want to get in trouble (corrected for mistakes). It's like I just don't get it sometimes. I need to be confident too, which I'm good at, if I don't feel like I'm about to get in trouble, which I'm always a little haunted by because I take my mistakes to heart more than I ought to, I can't stop thinking about my mistakes the day I make them.

I just, I feel nothing. And it seems like nothing fixes it. Will I ever feel better? It's unbearably miserable and empty. I love fall, I get beautiful views this time of year. I try to appreciate the leaves, it's like they never really reach me. I used to feel joy and appreciation, I used to feel like I was seeing this beautiful catching moment. Now I only feel the dullest amount of enjoyment from them, not enough to embrace joy. I try to think of the thoughts I used to have but, it's all faded mumblings that mean nothing to me. it's made me feel like the fall, the summer, the seasons just pass me by and I missed them. I've missed them for years. I black out most of my summers, even when they were likely kinda pleasant. I do remember this summer, but only cause so many Firsts happened.

The following paragraph goes into details about SH. Skip to the next paragraph if that's too much.

I got back into self harm, not that anyone other than the internet knows now. I don't want the attention. Sometimes a little just makes me feel like all that misery can just pour out of me at once and Its enough to be able to suck it up and go on with my day, there's no overwhelming of emotion there's no thought of it afterwards except checking the marks and feeling their burn a bit. Its practically nothing. I don't cut real hard, bleeding, maybe a raised red line. Not even enough to be noticable, nothing that can't be explained away.

Since I was a tween I just wanted to have a job that I enjoyed, and my own place and live a really simple, normal, but happy life. A modest one by most "when I grow up" desires. I was just so sure I would be happy. I tried so hard, I'm trying so hard. And I'm still not happy. I was so sure once I figured things out I'd be happy. My life should be pleasent, tolerable. If it was purely up to my optimistic cheery predisposition and hard work and the fortune I have, I should be content with my life at the minimum. I should be happy, I hope. But it's really not. It's just the chemicals in my brain. I'm so burnt out over the littlest things. Things that are little to neurotypicals, but I gotta build up for. I'm not sure I want to keep on living, I surely don't want to keep on living like this but what choice do I have? I always wanted to open my own tea house, and even if that say brought me the contentment with life I'm searching for, I have to hold out and then work triple time. And I probably will be burnout, or simply the repetitive nature of it will keep be stuck in the same limbo I am now. I just need to keep holding out. Maybe soon my depression will ease off and I'll feel more put together again soon. I will say, my depression/burnout isn't as bad as it has been historically before meds, I used to hurt miles more than I do rn in these moments. I used to feel like I was going insane and I just wanted to be insane to make it go away. I still feel a bit like that ngl but I don't feel insane. I feel rather sane and adult, things need to be and I'll push to get them there and then I will be fine. But God I can't see any point in living my life rn other than to support my partner.

There's really never not enough time. It just keeps rolling and I can't catch up on weekends rn.

Here's some songs that I just keep looping cause they hit.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

childless cat lady painting by Dorothea Tanning.

* * * * *

A piece in the New Yorker fact-checks anti-divorce dude JD Vance's Hillbilly Elegy (and finds out his grandmother filed for divorce in the 1950s and his grandfather did so in 1981; the couple ended up legally separated) but the really important takeaway for me was: "As no-fault divorce became the norm in state after state, domestic-violence rates dropped by some thirty per cent, suicides among women dropped by as much as sixteen per cent, and the number of women murdered by their partners dropped by ten per cent."

In other words, feminism saves lives (including men's; a significant portion of women's spousal homicide is self-defense). Providing better recourse/escape routes benefits everyone, as does delegitimizing domestic violence, recognizing coercive control, and establishing that men and women are equal under the law and in every other way--in other words, that he has no right to do it.

It's feminism that did a lot of the work to bring us no-fault divorce. Here's a 1992 profile of one such woman:

"In her nearly 32 years as a professor at the University of California at Berkeley's School of Law (Boalt Hall), she has cajoled, wheedled, lobbied and persuaded in her mission to use the law to end sex-based discrimination, by reputation combining clear-eyed logic and flawless legal research with impeccable manners.

"How to make trouble without being a troublemaker, that describes my style," Ms. Kay said in an interview this week. "I think that if you are going to help build an institution, you have to be careful not to destroy it in the process."

"Now, long after many people say they expected her to get the job, Ms. Kay, 57 years old, has been named dean of Boalt Hall, the first woman to hold the position. For the female lawyers and law professors who were her students or who know her through her book and other writings on sex discrimination, Professor Kay is a "patron saint" and "godmother," and her appointment is a sweet victory.

"Over the years, Ms. Kay has become a leading scholar in family law and was an author of no-fault divorce legislation that has been adopted in California and other states. She has been a major force in bringing women into law schools and sending them out on graduation to use law to achieve social change.

"After graduating magna cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from Southern Methodist University, Ms. Kay entered the University of Chicago Law School. She graduated in 1959, one of three women in a class of 109 students."

Which is also a reminder of how profoundly feminism remade the law and how much Vance and the Republican Party preach regression to almost every form of inequality.

But we still need more feminism because as a recent editorial in the Washington Post states: "One U.S. study found women are twice as likely as men to be convicted of a crime after claiming self-defense; the odds are even worse for a woman of color."

Likewise, restraining orders are a weak tool often not enforced against homicidal spouses intent on punishing women for leaving. Spouses who've often committed earlier violence that went unpunished. Feminism's work continues.

[Rebecca Solnit]

[trash----panda]

STORY, PT 1

Honestly, this faucility was too big for comfort, built for those who are "normal" size the walls seemed to tower over her, not that she cared. Joey was used to being ignored when it came to archtecture, they figured since she had wings she didnt need a ladder or anything, what about when she was tired? Just walk up the wall. Gods these people are annoying. The pixie stood around 1.5 inches tall, she was in no way large, just below average in height. She had fuzz covering most of her body as well as rounded wings to support her body in the air. She was a type of black fly so they needed to make special accomodations in the canteen. Supposedly it was worth it as pixie agents were in short supply, she knew at this point she was only on boarded as a diversity token.

A soft sigh escaped her as she headed through the hall towards her new dorm, she'd been warned she wouldnt like her roommate, but just like the safety briefs, she'd ignored that. She finally found the room towards the end "109"... She didnt like the number. Whatever she was being paid, they said something about her roommate being a... 'what was it again?' she unlocked the smaller door made for her 'it started with a c didnt it-' she froze as she stepped through the door, making eye contact with the massive, blue, creature.

'Coloratus.... It was a coloratus'

They starred a moment before she took a slow step backward and slammed the door, her hearts racing as she quickly tried to get out of there. 'what were they thinking?! Im going to die in there' she was so caught up in her mind she didnt even notice the other rushing out of the room. He was scared of...well... scaring her, trying to speak softly, little "wait wait wait"s coming from him as he tried to follow, causing the ground to shake when he ran over. She yelped, feeling her face redden with embarrassment at the noise, doing her best to hold her ground

"what"

'fuck that was supposed to sound confident'

she watched his eyes, trying to spot even the faintest hint of hunger before he gets a chance to strike, instead just finding worry.

"sorry, i-i know it isnt ideal but we can work something out ok? I-i didnt know you'd be here today or i would've cleaned up, or do flies like dirty rooms? I dont really know, that's kinda why..." he just started rambling, trying to salvage the situation in any way. This was her partner? This is who was supposed to accompany her to battle?.... She could work with this. She did her best to straighten her posture, wanting to at least seem a little bigger.

"i just forgot something at intake" she tried to play it off, knowing that was probably the worse excuse she could pull, at least it shut him up for a moment.

He froze, just kinda starring down at her, his blank expression making her nervous. She even flinched when he finally did move, his sigh washing over her when he did "o-oh ok do you need help moving it? If it's big i can get it? I-it's really no problem at all" well.... at least he seemed to have bought it

"no it's just my scarf, but since you offered" she dropped her bags, figuring she might be able to boss him around a bit "you can put my bags inside"

He perked up immediatly, a soft purr escaping him "o-ok, i can do that!" He scooped them up, getting up to leave before pausing "oh right, my name is Dendro" he smiled at her, still blushing over how stupid he felt right now.

She hesitated, if they were gonna be living together they needed to exchange names at least "Joey"

He tried to keep it hidden but he was obviously excited for this "Nice to meet you Joey!" He hurried back to put it away, leaving the pixie alone with her own thoughts.

'gods why does he have to be so cute'

[im-out-of-it]

part 4 of season 2, episode 4 continued “day of wrath” aka Alec didn’t need to endure this

100. “can you pledge your loyalty to the clave?” aldertree asks jace and he says no. this is why he’s punished. not because he kidnapped a wolf, not because he joined Valentine twice and all the atrocities he committed because he’s not loyal to the clave. that’s where the claves stands. doesn’t matter if you kill innocent downworlders, doesn’t matter if you save them, but if you have something they need (like a mortal cup) or you don’t do as they say (not be loyal) then you’ll be punished for that

101. I think this is something the show should’ve worked with. the books don’t do anything when it comes to how racist, homophobic, and vile the clave is. and when you have an “evil” person say something against the authors fav incest couple, then the focus is changed. the show should’ve done more when it comes to how the clave treats people

102. I think no matter what this character does, it’ll always be cringe to me

103. I can’t remember if I ever posted the video of Magnus and Simon talking about Camille but here it is anyways (and I’m sorry it’s side ways)

104. time to summon up Camille and how much pain Magnus is in that he has to do this

105. I feel for Camille but she has done this to herself and has gotten out of control. I don’t want her to be handed to the clave but it’s either the vampires are burnt at sundown or Camille is turned in. I think they could have found a way to keep Camille there. not 24/7 but just randomly showing up like Catarina does. and I think it’s sweet that Raphael knows Magnus needs a second. he’s such a good friend 🥹

106. I’m going to miss this bad bitch (and I don’t condone what she’s done but she’s a very fun character you have to admit)

107. YAY JOCELYN IS NO MORE but sad Alec

108. taking I have blood on my hands literal

109. you did us a favor Alec

110. no and I’m not going to apologize because Jocelyn was insufferable. having Jocelyn around would have made matters worse and I don’t think she would have ever parented clary right. some people are just not meant to be parents. she needed to go and I didn’t see her have any problem with sending Alec to his almost death. she even tried to tell Magnus that Alec wasn’t paying for her actions. at least Alec didn’t seek Jocelyn out. and this is the demon that incorporated Alec’s body. Alec isn’t in control of his thoughts and actions here- a demon is literally in his body. THIS IS NOT ALECS FAULT. but at least he felt some fucking remorse. clary Jocelyn jace never seemed to care how their actions and words affected Alec

111. at least Alec looks and feels sorrow and regret and is apologetic. I’ve never once seen clary actually feel bad for all the shit she put Alec through. she’s never tried to make amends with Alec. and this whole storyline just felt like a huge fuck you to Alec. oh you were hard on her Alec so we will have you take her mom away, a mom she didn’t even want to be around I trusted but it’s still her mom so we will have Alec go through another shitty experience again. and it’s almost ironic in the beginning of the episode, magnus says “you go battle your demons and I’ll go battle mine” and they do both battle their demons in this episode

112. Camille is trying her hardest to convince mags and he’s like but my children!!!!!!!!! “leave Alec out of this” yes Camille he’s going through enough

113. you can literally see the pain in Magnus’s eyes

114. bye Camille see ya never

115. Magnus can’t even look at Camille when he sends her away

116. and here comes Valentine at the last minute

117. “it took effort” so maybe thank your father jace lmao

118. well hodge just died so bye I guess

119. the fact that aldertree is more mad that jace saved his life shows you everything you need to know. but then again, he took the most powerful sword so once again jace made the wrong choice. the inquisitor can be replaced but a sword can’t and he would have done everyone a favor by ridding of aldertree but I guess Alec has to do everything on his own

I’m stopping at 120 and I thought I could just do this last part but part five coming soon

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 143. brb x oc

a/n:I had to cut this part because it'd be....too long, lol, SO THE SMUT IS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER SORRY but it is coming. I hope you guys like the chapter i really do.(reblogs and comments are super encouraged <3)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: kinda suggestive uwu but it'll be worse next chapter lol

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/100/101/102/103/104/105/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118/119/120/121/122/123/124/125/126/127/128/129/130/131/132/133/134/135/136/137/138/139/140/141/142

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-

“Come on Nikki! Look!”

Rooster turns his head up to the sky just in time for Nicole to do the same, their daughter’s light eyes still trying to identify what was going on out there. This trip was a lot of first for Nikki, first plane flight, first snow…and now Rooster was trying to make her mimic him by opening his mouth to catch the snowflakes on his tongue, “Look, see? Aaah…” and he rolls his tongue out as the little baby watches in confusion.

“I don’t think she gets it Roos.” Beatrice calls from the porch, the dogs around her - all of them wearing sweaters and little scarves because of the cold- holding a mug of cocoa, “She is pretty smart but I don’t know if she understands what you are doing right now.” even though it was the cutest thing she had ever seen, her massive husband holding their tiny daughter while walking in circles to catch one snowflake.

She giggles, bringing the mug to her lips as she watches them…these past days have been a bit of a roller coaster but Beatrice was glad they managed to talk about it. New Year’s Eve is in three days so she had that to worry about now…not that they’d have anyone over but she could think about the celebration instead of her own fears. 

Bradley was such…an amazing partner and father, she shouldn’t be surprised he was so sweet all of the time. He just wanted his family to be okay and she wanted him to be okay. Her smile widens as he keeps walking around, pointing from his face to the sky, opening his mouth again only for Nicole to blink at him because what the heck was her father doing? Beatrice leans her temple against the column next to her, Jolene and her pups curled onto one another because of the weather, snoozing peacefully.

She taps her thumb against the porcelain mug repeatedly, inhaling the cold air as she thinks of what she was going to do. It has been a while since the two got together and since having sex while pregnant wasn’t bad, she thought that this idea wasn’t bad…plus, it’d make her mind feel even more at ease. Everything was in her suitcase, hidden inside her makeup bag because it was small enough that no one was able to notice.

She had to thank Shells for that too, only her friend could come up with such ideas in such a short notice and when Beatrice needed her help. So the thing hidden was going to be a surprise…especially because once she found it she knew he was going to like it.

“That’s-that’s it Nikki!!” she heard Bradley shout happily and snapped her head towards him. Nicole was keeping her mouth open just like her father taught her, but the snowflake landed on her nose instead of her tongue. She looked down at it, green eyes crossing and her lips pursed in confusion, “Oh you are so cute! Babe!” he looks at Beatrice with his face shining, “Babe can you see this?”

God,her heart was so weak for them, she couldn’t even handle it.

“I can!” she shouts from the porch, safe from the cold and sipping her warm beverage, “She did good,didn’t she?”

“She sure did!” he bounces Nicole in his arms, then kisses her cheek repeatedly, “She did so great! You did great Birdie!”

Beatrice could only watch her husband and daughter, her little family, happily laugh because of what just happened. She sips her cocoa a few more times until Rooster looks over, “You comin’?”

“Hm?”

“Here?” he points to the ground, “With us?”

Now that’d be a lovely idea…if it wasn’t so cold. Beatrice was covered from head to toe, absolutely warm in every single aspect, but she was very comfortable hidden from the cold pieces of ice that while didn’t bother Nicole nor Rooster - every day that little girl is looking more and more like her father - Beatrice just stared at him with her eyes wide.

She parts her lips in an inhale, “I’m okay here!” 

But her husband just smirks, “Are you?”

“Yes,” another sip from her cocoa, “I’m very good here.”

He narrows his eyes playfully, the snow crunching under his boots as he turns his body to the porch with Nicole babbling on his arms, “Come on.’ he coos, wiggling his fingers as he shows her his hand, a way to bring her closer, “Come on,gorgeous. You love the snow now.”

“I don’t love it. I endure it.”

“Mhm.I can keep you warm.” his voice drops to a dangerous level, his eyes following her curves as she blushes heavily while looking at him.

“Rooster! Not in front of Nikki!”

“Baby, look at her,” their daughter was looking up at the sky - the little fluffy pom pom on her beanie moving when she tilted her head this way and that to have a better look at her surroundings- “She’s busy looking at the snowflakes, plus, what is dirty about what I said?”

“You know what.”

‘No,I just said I can keep you warm.” he opens his arm, “With a hug,c’mere.”

“Bradley Nicholas, I know you way too well.” she frowns, but bounces a bit on the spot…her cocoa was almost done too and she was getting colder now that he mentioned it… “....but I’ll accept the offer.” and she places the mug aside and shuffling her way over to him so he could engulf her with his warm embrace and she could stop feeling like a wrapped up popsicle in this winter.

She hums happily once his arm wraps around her, smiling at the delicious feeling of him around her. “Okay…maybe you were right.”

“Maybe?”

She props her chin between his pectorals and smirks, scrunching her nose a little bit, “Yes,maybe, don’t get so cocky.” again his eyes darkened and Beatrice swatted his arm in retaliation, “Rooster.”

“Whaat?”

“You are being an absolute menace right now.” she coos, kissing his lips twice and keeping their mouths touching as she giggles, feeling his hand cupping the back of her head, “Which normally,I wouldn’t mind but…well, you better behave.”

“I always do.” 

They laugh again and that makes Nicole laugh as well, her gentle giggle adding to her parents’ conversation as she holds onto Rooster’s jacket. Bradley sighs, kissing Beatrice’s head then Nicole’s, squinting his eyes at the soft snowflakes coming down, “...how are you feeling though?” he asks Bea, still holding her waist, ‘Nothing wrong right?”

“Nothing wrong,I’m bundled up and you are warming my stomach. We are all fine.” she grins, “...what about you?”

“What about me?”

‘Yeah, are you okay?”

He inhales the same frigid air she did and then exhales heavily as he grins at her, “I’m more than okay,gorgeous…I’m glad we are spending time together, all of us…” and if only he knew what they had planned later. “Also I was thinking, maybe we could go out tonight.”

Oh.

“...oh,really?”

‘Yeah, it’s not going to snow too much and there are places we can take Nikki and the dogs if we want to.”

…well that ruined things a bit. She chews her lower lip and then tries to come up with an excuse…quickly. “Well,it’s-we can’t trust the uh, weather app right Roos? Not like that.” she laughs nervously, rubbing her hands up and down his covered arms and offering him a nervous smile, “Plus…I don’t know if it’s good for Nikki to be out in the cold so late.” that at least was true, she’d hate if Nicole got sick because of the weather.

And she could see her husband was thinking the same thing.

“Hm…true.”

“So…we can stay here, it might be better.”

His eyes, while focused on her, didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, which to her was a great feat considering she couldn’t lie to him even if she wanted. He was too good at reading her, “That’s fine then, but-” he holds up a finger, “I’ll make us dinner.”

“Do you have anything in mind?”

“Well we still have saved up food from the beginning of the week, sooo…” he shrugs, “I’ll figure something out.”

Beatrice just smiles at him, then kisses his plump lips, swallowing his happy hum with her own laugh breaking out of her throat, “Okay.” she turns towards Nicole, gently brushing some of the snowflakes that stuck to her hair as they watched the white surroundings in silence. “...it’s so weird how quiet it gets.”

Rooster looks ahead with a small frown, “It’s never too good when it’s too quiet.” he tilts his head to the left, “There are birds chirping, no predators in sight. It’s just ‘cause you are a city girl and can’t handle the silence like that..” he teases only to be slapped by Beatrice - who gasps offendedly at him but still laughs at his commentary, shaking her head gently in disbelief.

“I can handle the silence a whole lot.”

“No you can.”

“Yes I can.”

“...no.” he narrows his eyes, “You can’t.”

“Yes, I can!”

“Let’s bet on it then,” he holds out his gloved hand with a smirk, Nicole too busy with the falling snow to notice them now, “If you can handle the silence for…a couple hours, then you win.”

She flicks her gaze from his hand to his eyes, pursing her lips, “What do I win,exactly?” he smirks wider, then shrugs with the less innocent look on his face. Beatrice blushes, but she knew he wouldn’t let it go unless she said yes or no to this…

Of course she said yes.

She shakes his hand twice, “When will this start?”

“Tonight?”

“...tonight.” he smirks wider pressing their noses together, “Why? Do you have anything planned?” 

Damn it.

“Well…our dinner is planned isn’t it?’ Good,Beatrice, switch it up on him so he’s confused. It took a few seconds but his face eventually relaxed with the recognition that yes, they had something planned for that night. He huffs softly, throwing that victory to her feet before he tugs her to his side, walking into the cabin with Nicole happily babbling under the falling snow, “...ya got me there.”

-

Dinner was wonderful.

When wasn’t it?

But now Beatrice had a plan to finish. While Rooster was downstairs, finishing his pomegranate juice - bless him, he still didn’t want to drink wine while she was pregnant- and checking his phone, Beatrice scurried upstairs towards the master bedroom. She quickly checked on Nicole and the dogs, the four of them asleep, in such a deep sleep that no canine lifted an ear when the floor creaked under Beatrice’s weight.

She smiles, watching the peaceful scene for a few seconds then turning on her heel towards the bedroom. She didn’t want to be too inconspicuous, she know he already had a feeling something was up so all she had to do was get ready. This wasn’t like the last time, this wasn’t their…she counted on her fingers, then furrowed her brows knowing that trying to remember the amount of times they had sex was going to be absolutely impossible. 

But it wasn’t that Christmas day anymore. They’ve been together for almost four years, they…had history together - three kids already, her mind recalls - and she felt like she should’ve done this for a while now. 

Beatrice sighs,checking her face in the mirror as she pulls onto the lingerie set that she bought specifically for this trip. She was so glad how calm Nicole was during the night, thanking every single deity responsible for making her sleep so deeply and so nicely…it was worrisome in the first months because they didn’t know how Nicole would be and boy were they happy when they found out she was such a heavy sleeper.

She hoped the twins would be the same.

But thinking how some of the twins - and triplets - in her family were…maybe that’d be wishful thinking.

She shakes her head, fixing the lace thong on her hips and wincing when the thin elastic snapped on her hip, leaving a red welt already, “Wow, sexy.” she mutters, putting on the lace bra - the tiny jewel in the middle shook as she adjusted it on her breasts, thanking it wasn’t so uncomfortable as she thought it’d be - and then putting on the lightest layer of makeup.

She smacks her lips, the thin layer of lip gloss making her mouth appear fuller and she rubbed her fingers on her eyelids to smudge the eyeliner, blinking at the result with a smile, “Perfect.” she whispered, inhaling for courage and then putting on the robe that hung from the bathroom’s wall…because she was still cold.

She steps out of the bedroom to reach the top of the stairs, chewing her lower lip as she closes Nicole’s door just enough to leave a small creak so the dogs could leave if they wanted, while tip toeing her way towards the steps. She hears him humming something, ‘Take on Me’ by A-Ha if she wasn’t mistaken.

Beatrice peeks into the kitchen to see him with the juice glass tilted to his lips and his phone in front of him, scrolling aimlessly through…whatever social media it was, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows the pomegranate juice and is absolutely oblivious to Beatrice’s eyes on him. She inhales for courage one more time, then pokes her head out, “Hey,” she calls, making him look over at her, “What are you doing?”

He arches his brow, licking his red stained lips and gesturing to the phone with his chin, “Calling Hangman a melonhead.” he says, with the most serious look on his face, “Evelyn took a picture of him when he was sitting and everyone is just now noticing how huge his head is.”

“Are you bullying him,Roos?”

‘It’s not bullying when it’s true.” he says with a chortle, then furrows his brows, straightening himself a bit, “What are you doing?”

“Me?”

‘Yes, you,gorgeous.”

“I’m just here,” she shrugs and he can see the dark fabric of the robe from behind the threshold, his eyes immediately latching on that point with interest, “Watching my husband…did you have a nice dinner?”

He pauses, still looking at her, the atmosphere getting thicker, she knows he knows. “I did….did you?” she nods with a small smile, and he knew that smile. He swishes the pomegranate juice inside the wine glass and drops his eyes down to the bottom of the threshold, where her body was still hidden behind, ‘C’mere.”

“For?”

“C’mere.” he says again, deeper, softer, whisky colored irises licking her body like fire even without seeing it fully, “I wanna see you.”

“Hmmmm…I don’t know about that,Lieutenant.” his pupils enlarge immediately and he freezes up, “I was just…thinking about some things,” she runs her finger against the wood grain, following the swirls and shapes with her nail, “Maybe…if you’d like some dessert?”

She winces, Oh God, that was so cringy. She hides her face and then bumps it against the wall only to look back and see that he was relaxed, almost leaning back against the chair with his arms crossed over his chest and his smirk clearly amused, “That was cute,” he says softly, “Your forehead is red.”

‘I hit it on the wall repeatedly.” she mutters, “Because that was the cringiest thing I’ve ever said Roos.’

“It was nice and yes,” he sits up, “I’d love some dessert.”

“Oh God don’t repeat it! Okay, hold on,” she steps out only to hold her hands up, “Let’s try again. Imagine I didn’t say that.” his eyes are following the lines of her thighs and calves and he tilted his head in hopes to see more under the robe to no avail, “Let’s do it again, blank slate and I’ll try better.” he turns himself on the chair so he’s facing her directly, interlocking his hands between his thick thighs and smiling at her, so fondly and warm she felt bad.

“Baby, it was nice.”

“But it’s supposed to be sexy.” she pouts,dropping her hands to her sides, “We–I just…I just well–”

“C’mere,” he pats his thighs this time, tugging his jeans to be comfortable - but that does more than that and it shows…a lot more than just the expanse of his thighs. “Aw, my baby,” he coos once she’s close, her pouty lips looking so pretty all glossed up like that he couldn’t help himself and kiss them when she’s close enough, “My gorgeous,gorgeous, gorgeous wife…there’s not one thing that you do that I don’t find sexy.”

“...I know but,” she frowns, “I had plans for tonight and I said that because Shells suggested, because-because of the color,” she rambles, moving her hands as he tugs her closer by the back of the thighs, trailing his fingers up her ass until he feels the high elastic of a thong brushing against his fingertips.

He sucks in a hard breath, letting her ramble on for a few seconds, “--and we didn’t have much time before? So,I thought, I thought it’d be a good idea,Roos…and…and it was cringy.Ugh.”

“‘What color is it,by the way?” he follows the lace that curves up on her ass with his thumb, the scratch of his manicured nails making her shiver.

“I-It’s um,’ she gulps, “C-Chocolate brown, like…dark-dark chocolate brown.”

“Ooohhh…a real dessert,huh?” she groans at him, “Does that mean I get to eat it now? You know I’m such a lover of chocolate…” he smirks when she blushes harder, “I love that we’ve been together for almost four years and you still blush when I talk to you. Fuck you are so fuckin’ cute.” he presses an open mouthed kiss to her cleavage once the robe parts enough for it to show, groaning at the scent of her perfume - lavender with something else, it was something new and he adored it already- “Hmmm…you are smelling good.” he cups her ass cheeks with both hands, squeezing the plump flesh and hooking his thumbs on the elastic.

“I…it’s a new perfume.” she whispers, gasping softly at the feeling of his tongue traveling all the way up to her jawbone, “I-I got it from–m-my aunt Martha.”

“...remember me to thank Martha,” he pauses to bite her skin, “Again.”

[robotbackpack]

Why have I not read a fic yet where Shino's shades are also mega-prescription?

If Team 8 is Eyes/Ears/Nose, then Hinata's got sight covered, do they really need three fully working sets?

Like, that kid is already going to be squinting like a 109-year old because of the difference in light filter the instant those things are off anyway, let's just make it a whole eyes are shitty thing.

Extra hilarious if his shades get broken on a mission and he has to use an old backup pair with the weaker strength or *gasp* regular sunglasses, and suddenly he's walking up to read road signs from 18 inches away, and just scrunching up his face at the mission scroll at the end of his nose, until Hinata and Kiba are like "dang he sure is very angry at the mission or very very myopic."

I have seen too many fics where he's just, completely normal after taking the shades off, or even worse, hella smooth rizz master. Like please, the second those are off his face it won't matter how upturned his beautiful eyes are, they will pucker and strain with all the awkwardness he's ever accumulated.