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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 2 days ago

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@zepskies

Oh boy, I am ready for the angst *rubs hands* and the dancing!!

You considered the picture, its bent corners and slightly grainy black and white lens. You’d worn your mother’s wedding dress, and you stared up at your new husband with the rosiest of smiles. He stared into your eyes then the way he always used to—like a man ready and willing to drown in them.

First I want to say that I am here for the reader rifling through Michael's drawers, YES girl, channel Daphne for Dean!! But I really love this little bit here because of the way you described Michael's gaze on her. Yes, we hate Michael... but goodness it was such a wonderful poetic line and all I want is that 😭

Also I love the little detail of Dean going out with a girl named Vanessa and especially the part where he thinks that she would:

"twitter on about frivolous things, so much that he couldn't really remember much of what she said..."

It's so good because my mind immediately shot to the idea that Dean is already subconsciously comparing the women/girls he's going out with to the reader. And on the inside I was doing this:

“I’d like you to leave me be. How about that?” you said, grabbing the edges of your hat and tilting it back down. “You’re distracting me.” “Oh, I’m distracting?” You met his gaze to give him a hot reply, but your words failed you. Just then, faced with his perfectly handsome, roguish face, you finally noticed how green his eyes were. Holding the gleaming reflection from the crystal chandelier above the bar, they briefly dragged over you again, like he was a starving man, and you were the very last morsel held in front of him. It was indecent, you thought, but suddenly your mouth had gone dry.

The boys running into the reader at the club was so wonderful, and there's really something beautiful about the way you build the scene with the dancing, the drinking, the people playing cards, and the description of the outfit the reader wore is stunning! I love the dark lipstick, dress, hat combo that shields her face is just everything I want- but above all, I really loved the banter you had between the reader and Dean.

The give and take with the dialogue is beautiful. This piece especially, because I literally needed to take a moment after reading it and the way Dean looked at the reader. 👀

Dean smoothly guided you even closer to him by your waist, until there was hardly any room between your chest and his, between your face and his. Your hand curled around the back of his neck on instinct, the edge of your nails just barely grazing through his hair. You wouldn’t know how it elicited a hot zing of sensation down his spine. “Your husband really is blind, and even dumber than he looks,” Dean said, glancing down at your face. “I clocked you in five seconds flat, just by those pretty lips.”

Oh my word IT'S HAPPENING!!! The tension! 😱

Also, I'm a complete sucker for a dance scene. I've written them a few times, and there's something so magical and intimate about them. You wrote this one between Dean and the reader so beautifully, because you made it filled with attraction, but you also made it a little melancholy when the reader is remembering a part of her life when she was happy in her marriage. The almost kiss is KILLING me lol

“Dean, please. You don’t have to do this just because you feel sorry for me,” you said. “I don’t feel sorry for you,” he said. It earned your attention, your confused and hurt expression. Dean met your gaze steadily. “I feel sorry for him. Because he doesn’t have a clue what he’s just lost.” Your breath stilled in your lungs.

Alright, it's official Alex my soul has left my body. It's been nice knowing you 🤣 I knew this would happen someday when I read one of your fics lol

Ohhh my word this chapter was so good! The historical fiction vibes are just so impeccable, and the entire scene with the reader and Dean in the club is going to live rent free in my head the rest of the year! Cannot wait to revive and read the next chapter lol!! 💗

BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 2

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. He’s visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where he’s beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.

AN: Before we tune back into some 1940s drama, I just wanted to thank you all so much for your wonderful responses on Part 1 of this series. 🥹 It’s my first time doing a story like this, so I’m very happy you liked the jumpstart here. 💖💖

Prompt for @jacklesversebingo: Historical Epic

Song Inspo: “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” by Frank Sinatra

Word Count: 3.7K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, hints of PTSD, flirting, dancing…

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Part 2: Devil May Care

After you got home from work the very next day, your apartment was entirely empty.

Predictable. Michael was still out.

This time, you counted it as a blessing. You rifled through every corner, cabinet, pocket, and drawer in search of evidence—anything you could use to prove, without even one shade of a doubt, that your husband was the unfaithful scoundrel you knew him to be. You knew it, deep in your gut. In your very soul.

You even rifled through Michael’s desk in his office, through every single folder, drawer, and booklet. You’d never done such a thing before because he was a particular man about his things, and you respected his privacy.

That was done now. In your search, you found a useless ball of rubber bands and old coupons. You took his father’s old collection of fountain pens, which you knew Michael was precious about, and threw them haphazardly onto the desk to make room for your seeking hands through the rest of the drawers.

You even came across a small, crumpled photograph from your wedding day. This one made you pause.

You sighed and let the picture fall from between your fingertips. It swayed onto the desk’s mahogany wood surface, and rested there. You shook your head and returned your attention to your task at hand, holding your hands to your hips.

The problem was, you didn’t see anything incriminating here…until an idea finally occurred to you. You went into Michael’s closet. You sorted through the suit jackets he still needed to get drycleaned and pressed again.

In one of the pockets, you found a receipt.

You brought it to Sam Winchester’s office the following morning before work, along with some documents of your household expenses. Like you did the afternoon before, he identified the receipt as one for the Cotton Club, a nightclub in the Upper East Side. You had never been there in your life, but you heard it was one of the new go-to spots in town. It was the kind of place you used to wish Michael would take you to, once in a while.

“It could be a lead or it could be nothing, but I’ll check it out, along with these,” Sam said. He gathered the financial documents you gave him as well.

“Okay. Thank you, Mr. Winchester,” you nodded.

“You can call me Sam if you like,” he said, kind, but still professional. You smiled. Unbidden, it reminded you of his brother.

“Please,” you said, your eyes briefly closing. “Just…call me by my name. My first name.”

Dean slowly smiled. “Perfect. I like your name better anyway.”

This time, your smile in return was genuine, if tinged with amusement.

“Goodnight, Dean,” you replied.

Biting the inside of your lip, you gave into the urge to ask the question.

“It was nice of your brother to walk me home last night…what is he up to today then?”

“Ah, well, he’s out to lunch with a young lady he met last night,” Sam replied, with a somewhat wry, but still amused tone to his voice. You frowned.

“Last night? Does your brother meet a lot of women after 9:00 p.m.?”

Sam chuckled. “He’s not usually wanting for company.”

“I see,” you said flatly. You should have known. The devil-may-care grin on that man was too charming to be anything less than the mark of a shameless flirt. Maybe even a scoundrel. Lord knew you couldn’t take any chances either way.

Dean returned from his day out with Vanessa. She was a nice enough girl, a knockout blonde too. She was smart, studying to be a schoolteacher. But she also tended to twitter on about frivolous things, so much that he couldn’t really remember much of what she said. She did look good doing it though. Not to mention, she let him feel her up while they kissed in one of the alleys, between the ice cream parlor and a drycleaners.

He predictably found his brother whittling away life in his office. Dean dropped his coat and hat on the hanger with a flourish. Sam raised his head from his work with an amused smile.

“Had a good day, did you?” he remarked.

“I can’t complain,” Dean agreed. “Especially when a beautiful woman’s involved.”

Sam shook his head. Before September, he hadn’t seen Dean in three years. Yet some things just didn’t change.

“You gonna see her again?” Sam asked.

Dean made a noncommittal sound. “We’ll see. The day is young, brother.”

Sam raised a finger. “Speaking of which. Mrs. Milligan came by this morning. I’ve been looking through her husband’s finances.”

“Oh really?” Dean sobered as he approached his brother’s desk. “What’d you find?”

“Overall, things seemed to be in order, until I noticed something strange,” Sam said. Dean lowered into the chairs opposite his brother at his desk, and they went over it all together. Sam appreciated another set of eyes on this, with the understanding that Dean would keep the information to himself.

Starting roughly eleven months ago, there was a check signed to a Mr. Johnson for a moderate sum. Three weeks later, another check, this time a bit larger. For the past few months, Michael Milligan had been making these payments at least once a month, sometimes as much as three, albeit in different amounts.

“He might just have a gambling problem,” Sam said. He rubbed his chin in contemplation.

“Or it could be what she’s worried about,” Dean pointed out. “The name could be an alias. Maybe Mike’s paying for someone’s services…or paying her bills, if you catch my drift.”

Sam slowly nodded. “That’s a possibility.” He checked the dates on the documents again and shook his head. “Mrs. Milligan told me they got married about a year ago, here in the city. It would mean this guy started stepping out on her a month after the wedding.”

Dean both could and couldn’t believe it. He might not have been a saint himself when it came to the fairer sex, but if he went through the whole ordeal of marrying one, let alone a straight-shooting woman like you, beautiful, clever…

“Geez,” he muttered. “He could’ve at least waited until the ink dried on the certificate.”

Sam nodded in agreement. He picked up the receipt to the Cotton Club, and he shot his brother a grin.

“Wanna go to the club tonight?”

A wall of sound. That was the Cotton Club—the band on stage playing jazz tunes, loudly, if skillfully; the clanking of glasses as drinks rolled past; the clamor of heels and leather shoes as couples swung on the dance floor; and the added layer of people raising their voices to compensate. The room was filled with the smell of cigarette smoke, fighting against perfume and cologne and musk and sweat.

It was a bit overwhelming for Dean at first. He tried to ease himself into the scene with Sam at his side, even if he did jolt at the cork of a champagne bottle popping open. Sam noticed, but he mercifully didn’t say anything. He thumped a hand on Dean’s back to steady him under the pretense of a brotherly pat, adding a smile for good measure.

Sam was there to keep a lookout for Michael Milligan. Dean would help, but it wasn’t like he was being paid for it. He was largely aiming to have some fun while his brother was all serious, focused on the work. Dean was here for the community nightlife.

The beautiful, beautiful community. As a matter of fact, there were lovely ladies everywhere. One sultry blonde was singing an upbeat, jazzy tune at the mic. Dolores Daye, said the banner above the stage.

Dean’s attention shifted from the stage to the scattered round tables outside the dance floor, as well as the chair lined up at the bar. His gaze caught on someone familiar—on you, sat at a table by yourself. His eyes widened. He slowed to a stop while Sam went on ahead.

You were stunning, almost unrecognizable in a shimmering black dress that hugged every lush part of your figure, with sleeves that draped off your shoulders. His eyes drew down your crossed legs, the sheer pantyhose, leading to a pair of tall, shining black heels.

You wore a hat and partial veil that covered half your face, but he knew it was you. Those lips of yours were familiar on sight. Now they were painted red, dark and luscious.

“Dean?” Sam questioned him. He’d turned back when he realized his brother wasn’t keeping up with him. Dean subtly pointed you out. Sam raised his brows, but then he noticed what you were doing. You had a glass of wine in hand, and you seemed to be watching someone.

Every now and then your gaze would travel across the room, where your husband Michael was sat at a table filled with other men and women. They were laughing, drinking, playing cards.

Sam and Dean shared a conspiring look, one that said they had the same thought. They went over to you.

Sensing you were being approached, you looked over and found the pair of tall, familiar men with a widening of your eyes. That pretty mouth of yours fell open in surprise.

“What’re you doing here?” you whisper-hissed. You beckoned them to sit down so they weren’t standing out so much while talking to you. Both Winchester men were broad-shouldered and tall as oaks.

“The same thing you’re doing, apparently,” Sam said, once he and Dean were sitting across from you at the table. He showed you the camera he had hidden in his coat pocket. “I’m going to see if I can get a read on what your husband’s up to, maybe collect some evidence.”

You let out a rush of breath. “Good, thank you.”

“Until then, maybe you’d be more comfortable at home,” he suggested.

Dean knew what his brother was getting at. This wasn’t the kind of place for a woman to be hanging around…unaccompanied. Not a respectable one like you, who clearly wasn’t used to being in a roaring nightclub. Plus, if Michael did slip up here, it wasn’t exactly going to be pleasant for you.

You still shook your head stubbornly. “No. I want to see it with my own eyes.”

Sam almost sighed, but Dean shot him a nod. Right then, they had an understanding. Dean would stay and look out for you while Sam tried to get closer to Michael. Sam left you and Dean together at the table thereafter, and Dean ordered a drink for himself. You sipped at your wine.

Dean glanced at you in appreciation. You really were beautiful…and not just tonight. Though he had to smile at your “disguise.”

“You think that getup is gonna fool your husband?” he remarked, gesturing at your form.

Your lips pursed, but you kept your head angled towards him, so that your hat and veil continued to hide your face from Michael’s direction.

“It has so far,” you retorted. “And this isn’t a getup.”

You smoothed slightly self-conscious hands down the skirt of your dress. Dean smiled.

“All right, I’m sorry. Poor choice of words,” he said. He dropped his chin and raised his brows, earning your gaze under the hat. “It’s quite a dress, sweetheart.”

I’d like to see you out of it, he thought, even though he immediately stamped it down. You weren’t exactly available, no matter how delectable you were. The interesting part was, you didn’t seem to realize it as you fidgeted in your seat, a little self-consciously.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” you snipped.

His lips tugged at a smirk. He tilted your hat up a little so he could see more of your frowning face.

“Want me to do better?” he teased.

“I’d like you to leave me be. How about that?” you said, grabbing the edges of your hat and tilting it back down. “You’re distracting me.”

“Oh, I’m distracting?”

You met his gaze to give him a hot reply, but your words failed you. Just then, faced with his perfectly handsome, roguish face, you finally noticed how green his eyes were. Holding the gleaming reflection from the crystal chandelier above the bar, they briefly dragged over you again, like he was a starving man, and you were the very last morsel held in front of him.

It was indecent, you thought, but suddenly your mouth had gone dry.

“How about this,” Dean said. He finished off his whiskey and held out a hand to you. “Dance with me. You’ll have a better vantage point to spy on Mike over there.”

“Keep your voice down,” you shushed, glancing around.

Dean just smirked. He beckoned you again with a raise of his brows.

You hesitated, but you still eventually dropped your hand into his. He stood before you so he could help you to your feet. You allowed him to escort you over to the dance floor, and all the while you fought off your nerves. You were only doing this because he had a good idea; this would help you keep an eye on Michael without looking so out of place, a woman drinking alone at the table.

The band was playing a moderately paced song, which was good. You weren’t in this to be swept into the air.

“Relax,” Dean whispered, once he had you in his arms. His hands were respectably placed on your waist and in your hand. You knew you did have to relax though. Already you were too stiff while tentatively holding his hand, your other resting on his shoulder.

“I haven’t danced in—in a while,” you admitted. You were a little nervous as you began swaying with Dean, letting him lead you. He turned you about with ease, even twirling you under his hand.

“See? There’s nothing to it,” he said, welcoming you back into his arms. “When’s the last time you had some fun?”

You tilted your head as you thought about it. You and Dean shuffled about the dance floor in more complicated steps as the song increased in tempo. You were breathless in a good way. In a way that you couldn’t even remember needing to breathe as the golden lights sparkled in the corners of your eyes.

“He took me to a club like this once, about…I’d say month or so after we got married last year,” you admitted between spins. You had to hold a hand to your head to keep your hat on.

You were distracted enough by it all—the spinning, the laughter and tinkling glasses, the flashes of spotlight in between sultry dim shades, the heady smell of this man’s cologne, and his every touch, however brief on your body, but just as confident and measured. You actually told him the truth.

“I’ve been dying to get out more ever since, but…” you trailed as he spun you again, then winded you back into the growing familiarity of his arms.

“Your husband really is blind, and even dumber than he looks,” Dean said, glancing down at your face. “I clocked you in five seconds flat, just by those pretty lips.”

You lowered your eyes, but not very far. They landed on his plush lips in contemplation. When your eyes met his again, Dean had a conundrum. He just didn’t think he cared all that much about the consequences.

His head began to bow towards yours, just when the song slowed to a stop. Almost without realizing it, he pressed his hand a little more insistently on the small of your back. You found yourself accepting that guiding pressure. Half-lidded eyes and heavy, mingled breaths in between…

“Let’s hear it again for Dolores Daye, everybody!” the host called out.

You snapped to attention and glanced over Dean’s shoulder at the singer. She waved goodbye to the crowd with a sensuous smile on her ruby red lips. Then she walked off stage in her glittering golden dress, and she grabbed hold of a man’s tie. That man was your husband.

Michael wore a wide smile on his face as she led him to his feet by his tie. He stood, his form looming over her, though she didn’t seem to mind—especially when his arm wrapped too familiarly around her waist.

It wasn’t the kind of embrace you would see between strangers, even for the sake of a good show for the crowd. Their faces became impossibly close, but it was just shy of a kiss as she laughed, a sound like fine crystal bells.

Dean noticed why you froze. He turned to look over his shoulder and his expression faded, becoming grim. He led you off the stage, and while keeping a discreet eye on the scene, he lingered at the bar in the center of the room. His arm stayed around your waist. He could tell himself it was to stay in character, but really, he just wanted to keep you grounded…that right now, you weren’t alone.

Here by the bar, it was far enough that Michael likely wouldn’t notice you, but close enough that you both could hear what was happening.

The host stepped down from the stage and joined Dolores and Michael, laying a heavy hand on your husband’s shoulder. Yet another clue that Michael showed his face here all too frequently. The host waved over his entire table of friends, Sam included. He’d managed to get himself invited to sit with them.

“Come on. Join us out back,” said the host, gesturing behind the curtain.

“Where to?” Sam asked.

“For a card game or two, a little smoke, a nice little drink,” Michael said, grabbing Sam’s shoulder. “You in?”

Sam nodded. He glanced over and found Dean across the room with his eyes. They shared a brief, but telling look, after which Sam followed Michael and Dolores past the curtain discreetly. Meanwhile, you were already pulling away from Dean’s arm.

“I’m sorry. I’ve got to go,” you murmured.

You went back to the table to collect your purse. You left the rest of your wine there with a few bills on the table to cover it, and you were off, walking brusquely to the front doors. Dean followed suit, laying some money down for his own drink before he followed after you. The clerk at the front brought you your coat after you handed over your ticket, and Dean did the same.

“Hey, why don’t I take you home,” he said, having to raise his voice even here over the noise.

“No, thank you,” you said thickly.

After you had your coat on, you hastened to the closest bus stop outside the club. It was late, it was dark, and it was cold. You saw your fragile breath on the air as you stood there in your tall heels, and you held yourself for more than one reason as you fought off bitter tears.

You bit your lip and blinked against the burn, but you still had to swipe a few droplets quickly from your cheeks. You tried to even out your shallow breaths. It felt like someone had reached into your chest and started squeezing whatever they found. Whatever was left.

Dean sidled up to you with his hands in his pockets. You heaved a sharp sigh, recognizing him just by his shadow casting beside yours under the streetlamp. You kept your face away from him as you wiped at your tears.

“Why do you insist on watching me be miserable?” you asked.

“Aw, come on, sweetheart.” He shook his head, carding a hand through his hair. “I know you’re upset. I just want to make sure you get home safe, that’s all. …You don’t even have to talk to me if you don’t want to.”

You slowly shot him a glance, but you didn’t budge. Your frown deepened along with your furrowed brows.

“Dean, please. You don’t have to do this just because you feel sorry for me,” you said.

“I don’t feel sorry for you,” he said.

It earned your attention, your confused and hurt expression.

Dean met your gaze steadily. “I feel sorry for him. Because he doesn’t have a clue what he’s just lost.”

Your breath stilled in your lungs.

His words touched you, more deeply than he probably realized. Part of you still wanted to give a sharp retort, that you didn’t need a chaperone. You didn’t need him to swoop in and collect you like broken glass…but a larger part of you craved the company. You didn’t want to be alone.

Soon enough, the next bus pulled up at the curb in front of you. The doors opened.

Dean gestured with a sweeping hand towards the bus’s steps.

Ladies first.

With another small sigh, you climbed up without a word. You even accepted his helping hand as you did so. Dean stepped up after you, and the doors closed behind you both.

AN: Welp, Happy Valentine's Day! 😅💜 Quite literally an angsty ride here, but what should happen on this bus going nowhere...

Next Time:

You admired his hands as they rested casually in his lap. They were larger than yours, with long fingers. His hands look strong and capable, like the rest of him, even though they were always considerate when they touched you.

“Then you should do something you like doing,” you said. “Fixing cars! That’s good, honest work you can make a living out of.”

Dean looked over at you. “You think so?”

You nodded your encouragement, smiling bright. “I know so. You might be a bit of a flirt, but you also look like someone who can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.”

When those words slipped free from your mouth, you realized how he might take that little accusation, let alone how overeager you sounded. Your gaze fell away from him as you felt your face getting warm in a blush.

Dean’s smile slid into a smirk. “I’m a flirt, huh?”

“Well…” You bit the inside of your lip and tried your hardest not to look at him for a while. “At least you’re an honest one.”

Dean laughed freely at that.

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 3

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bettystonewell · 3 days ago

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BLOWTORCHES, BOOTS & BUGSPRAY

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Aussie!Reader

Summary: Blowtorches are perfect to exterminate spiders. Even Dean agrees.

Word Count: 1.1k words

Tags: established relationship, strong language, potentially Aussie slang (tbh, I don’t know, I just went with the flow and didn’t think too hard about my word choices this time)

A/N: If you knew me from AO3 or Wattpad first, you might be familiar with my first fic/series Abducted, and my Aussie!Reader, Glowworm. Well, this reader is her, and this is all thanks to Erwin the spider (named after Schrödinger), and his friends who think it’s okay to set up shop in my house rent free.

This is purely self indulgent - just a fun little thing to get me in the mood to write because I’ve been struggling lately so I haven’t tagged anyone.

If you happen to be feeling homesick or hate creepy crawlies or just need a Dean cuddle, this one’s also for you.

“Fuck off, you cunt!” You swatted at the large-arse spider on the wall for what felt like the hundredth time. Okay, not quite, but your arm sure hurt because of the fucker and Dean’s left boot you’d been holding above your head.

It wasn’t the same as a thong, but it was bound to do the job better. As long as he never found out.

The little spindly legs scurried under your arms’ shadow as you launched the heavy sole a couple inches ahead of the bastard. Didn’t work, of course. The fucker seemed to sense your every movement.

Or maybe it smelt Dean’s feet.

He’d done enough running to sweat up a storm on the last hunt, and the stench had wafted into your nose. You just ignored it.

It was his boot or a pair of yours.

Your fingers flexed over the ankle cuff and you raised your arm further back behind you. A real good swing oughta do it, if you could just find the bastard.

“Where the hell did you go?”

Your eyes scoured the walls. With so many nooks and crannies and guns to hide behind, the little shit could be anywhere. But dare you try to move them? Would Dean chuck a fit? Would you?

You still shuddered at the thought of touching your own gun most days, much less his. And the thought of sleeping with them another night and IT would drive you mad.

So you dropped the boot to the ground with a glorious thud and flinched your eyes back to where Incy Wincy had last been seen.

Nope. Nothing.

“You know the spiders we have back home would put you to shame! ‘Least they have the decency to wait in the toilet or behind the windscreen. Not where we sleep!”

Yes, you were going bonkers, talking to spiders now, but you had a point, and you reached for the closest shotgun. Damn thing was heavy, and you were extra careful, even knowing Dean never kept them loaded, least not the ones on the wall.

And that’s where he found you some ten minutes later, taking down the last of those that remained since you’d started moving in. His prized machete in your grasp.

“What the hell?” he said, freshly showered, hair disheveled. Half a beer still in hand. His towel held up ‘round his waist by the other.

His eyes scanned his bed where all his toys now lay, then flicked to you and back. “What’re you—”

“Spider,” you said, a little breathless. “Little cunt.” Your fingers squeezed together to mimic its size.

“And you needed to take everything off the wall?”

“It—” Your own eyes scanned the room. You’d taken them all off and nothing, which meant he was somewhere else.

Your fingers darted for the next thing you could reach. The old phone on the desk Dean had moved for you when you’d chosen a side.

“You ready to take the full plunge, huh?” He sauntered to the closet, ignoring your dashes and darts to find the little shit. “Moving in tonight?” He chuckled, but you continued to ignore him.

Even the towel dropping to the floor and his naked arse-cheeks hadn’t deterred you in your plight. Sure, your eyes might’ve taken a peek, but you’d get back to him later. He could’ve been helping!

Where is it? Where is it? You shifted the chair and dragged its legs back, arousing Sam’s suspicions from down the hall.

“What the hell’s going on?” he said, much like Dean, only without the towel.

Luckily, the latter had put on boxers and a tee by then. “She’s looking for a spider. Little cunt.” He chuckled again, and all Sam could do was scoff.

“Weren’t you gloating to Claire about our bugs being nothing?”

His attempt at your accent quirked a brow. But for the most part, you were civil. You had to find Charlotte before she started forming words with the dust bunnies you’d just discovered under the vintage desk.

Yeah, you were going through this place with a dustpan first thing tomorrow, assuming there was anything left.

“You have a blowtorch in the boot, right?” you said.

“In the—Okay, first of all.” Dean swooped in and grabbed a wrist, pulling your back flush against him. “Don’t insult my Baby. She has a trunk. A trunk.” He enunciated slowly the second time to which you rolled your eyes.

“And second?”

“There’s one down the hall in 8B.”

“Dude!”

His chest rumbled through your spine. His arms wrapped ‘round your waist. “Relax, Sammy.” His breath tickled your ear. “Go get the bug spray, would ya? I’m gonna round up Dundee here before she hurts herself.”

“I’m not gunna—”

“You took all my guns off the wall, sweetheart.” Dean reasoned. “There’s nothing left.”

“On the walls,” you snarked, twisting in his arms to face him when you realised he wasn’t letting go. Finding his stupid grin and a peck to the lips soon after. “My brother pulled apart his whole room for a huntsman once. Those fuckers can jump,” you added through pride and a lump that tied your throat and tongue.

Not only had you completed another successful hunt two days prior, but his birthday had come and gone that week, and Dean took that clue and ran with it. You knew it by the way his brows raised, and his dazzling greens shot at yours, even in the faint lighting of the bunkers evening ones.

“You haven’t mentioned your family in a while,” he said, and your gut did a flip.

Hands found their way to smooth the fabric they found between you and his firm chest. Had he worn his usual flannel, you’d have smoothed your fingers over the button holes, too, but now they searched his heartbeat instead, beating steady as a drum.

“I guess so.” You nodded, finding his bare toes below you. “Just a coincidence with the spider.”

“Yeah.” The pop from Dean’s lips pouting was loud enough to hear, but he didn’t say anymore; simply squeezing your sides and pulling you in further so that your nose and no longer dry eyes could hide in his warmth.

And like that, you stayed for a minute, maybe more. His soap and still steady heart, a comfort to your clouding mind.

Until he had to go and ruin the moment with his soft timbre, and, “Son of a bitch. That thing just jumped.”

That thing?

“You saw him?” You pulled back and spun around to follow the direction of his gaze to his pillow and your little friend sitting smack bang in the middle of it.

“Sammy! I’mma need that blowtorch!” he bellowed, but you were too busy reaching for his discarded boot from earlier.

The fire would get the guts out.

#dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x you #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester #spn reader insert #x reader #spiders #aussie!reader #aussie slang #one shot #quick fic

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actuallysaiyan · 3 days ago

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The First Time(Aka How Nanami Kento Lost His Virginity)Chapter Eight: Nevermind The Trailers, Here's The Main Event

warnings: smut, vaginal fingering, kissing, sending nudes through text, love confessions, semi-public fingering pairings: Emo!Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader summary: the two of you are navigating the waters after your last encounter. Nanami surprises you during a date and it ends with the two of you officially cementing what this relationship means for the two of you. a/n: HERE IT IS! The next chapter! We have love confessions and then some! More to come sooner than later, I promise!

taglist: @cherryblossombankai @kenpachisbrat @benkeibear @harlekin6

@brokennerdalert @marikuchanxo @gennaray

@sugurusprettygirl @hazzelle-kento @pixelcafe-network

Masterlist

The following weeks sees you and Kento spending almost every waking moment together. It’s known on campus that you two are the cutest couple ever. Most girls watch you in awe as you have the most romantic man charming you every time he’s around you. Even the girls who caused you problems during the party seem to be jealous.

On Kento’s side of things, not only does he feel more confident with your relationship being more stable, he also feels like things are looking up for him for the first time in so long. The thoughts of returning to the sorcerer world are pushed aside for the daydreams of a future with you. He fantasizes about maybe having a family with you once you’re both done with school.

Things couldn’t get any better, really. And now that you two were both comfortable in your positions at school and with each other, it was only going to get better from there.

Kento spends a lot of time with you in your dorm. He’s happy to shower you in affection. He’s so much more layered and complex than you previously could have imagined. He shows you parts of himself that even he keeps tucked away from himself. He’s honest and kind, always wanting to talk to you about all kinds of things.

The only thing that sort of lingers between the two of you is his virginity. You know you’d love to go that far with him, but you still want to tread comfortably. You two have just gotten together for real recently and to push the subject could make him uncomfortable. So you decided to just continue the way it’s been going and see where things go.

For the first time, Kento is now debating on whether or not to send you a nude. He’s got picture messaging on his phone and you two have been official for a few weeks now with nothing else going on. He wants to show you that he is, in fact, still interested in pursuing something sexual with you as well as romantic.

He’s pacing around in his room. Over the summer, he regained a bit of muscle mass. He had been going to the gym regularly to occupy his time. So he knows he doesn’t look bad. It’s just…how do you even take a good picture to send as a nude?

He groans as he tries different angles, but he thinks he looks stupid in every single one of them. After about twenty deleted pictures, he throws himself on his bed and whines. It’s frustrating to try and be sexy. He knows he doesn’t have to try too hard, but he wants to. He wants to look good for you.

Then he decides to take a shower. Once he’s got his clothes off and the bathroom is nice and steamy, Kento realizes just how perfect this set up is. Finally, he grabs his phone and snaps a picture of him with his shirt off and his cock in his hand. Looking at it, he finds himself actually impressed.

Your phone vibrates as you sit in your dorm studying. You smile when you realize it’s a text from your boyfriend. When you open it, your eyes widen. You don’t know that you’ve ever seen Kento so confident as he looks in this picture.

The thought of him taking this photo for you has you really riled up. You settle on your bed, your studies forgotten for the moment. You push your pants down and tease yourself through your panties. With your free hand, you snap a picture of your panties pushed to the side and your slick dribbling down your thighs.

Miss you.

He sees the message before going into the shower, and he gets even more confident. He strokes his cock a few times, squeezing the head gently to make some precum pearl at the tip. Then he sends you a picture of that.

See you soon, beautiful.

The next time you two see each other, you’re both blushing. It’s a shared secret. Something that only the two of you understand. And it makes you feel even closer together. Soon, he’s talking about taking you out on a date over the weekend.

He meets you in the parking lot outside the dorms. You look so adorable, dressed in a plaid skirt and a band t-shirt. His eyes widen and he smiles when he notices it’s the shirt he forgot in your dorm one time. You grab his hand and the two of you start walking towards the movie theatre.

“I’m really excited for this,” you say softly.

“Me too. It’s been a while.”

Ever the gentleman, Nanami pays for the tickets, the snacks and he carries everything to your seats. It’s in the very back of the theatre. It’s nice to have these dates. It reminds you of why you really fell for the guy in the first place. He shows you his charming side, when everyone sees just this brooding, moody emo kid.

The trailers begin and the sound is booming as the screen shows you previews for a romcom first. You both laugh at how cheesy it is, but it still seems funny enough for the two of you to wonder if you’d like to come see it. The next trailer is a gory slasher flick, which piques both of your interests. Following that are some ads for some bank, the snacks at the concession stand and then there’s one last trailer for a historical piece before your movie starts.

At first, the movie was very captivating. You and Kento can’t look away, even as you munch on some hot, buttery popcorn and sweet chocolate. Then halfway through, the movie shows its true colors and you realize that it’s going to be very disappointing. You whine and rest your head on his shoulder, and Kento chuckles at just how cute you’re being right now.

One thing leads to another, and you kiss him. He kisses you back, letting you take the lead on this for the time being. He’s not wanting to press things, considering you’re in a movie theatre and getting caught would really suck if you wanted to return for another date.

But the thought of you teasing yourself in those panties when you sent that nude has his blood boiling. It’s been a few weeks since the two of you had any kind of intimacy. He’s growing hard with every little kiss you give him. It’s almost like you’re trying to tease him on purpose.

He looks at you slyly as he pushes your skirt up just a bit. Then you bite your lip to hold in your moan as he begins to rub your clit through your panties. You were wearing silky ones this time, just to spice things up for your date.

The gasp you let out when he pushes them aside and parts your folds has him chuckling. You glare at him, but you’re spreading your thighs even more. He’s so much more confident now than he’s ever been. You remember the first time you two kissed, and how he was such a needy guy back then. Now Kento was calling the shots and you were loving it.

“Try to be quiet, baby.” He whispers in your ear before kissing your neck.

Two of his fingers slip into you, making you let out such a cute little moan. Thankfully the theatre is nearly empty and you’re sitting far away from everyone else. Kento begins to thrust his fingers into you, curling them against your sweet spot. His cock is throbbing but that’s not what’s important here. What’s important is that you see stars.

His thumb rubs your clit in time with his slow and meticulous movements. Every second is agonizingly pleasurable. Your eyes roll back in your head and you begin to hump his hand. It feels like so long since you were able to get off on his long fingers. Kento smirks when he sees just how needy you are right now. You’re just a mess, dripping all over his fingers.

“Cum for me,” he whispers before capturing your lips in a sensual kiss.

He keeps your moans muffled as your walls begin to pulse around his digits. Kento keeps kissing you, drawing out every little bit of pleasure from you. Then slowly, he pulls out of you and brings his fingers to his lips to lick them clean. You pant as you try to catch your breath. You’ve got a few minutes to clean yourself up and straighten up before the credits begin rolling.

He grabs your hand and guides you out of the theatre. The night air feels so good on your sweaty skin. You feel so giddy. Your heart is racing and your tummy is still full of butterflies. You kiss him over and over, and he smiles sweetly.

“Be mine,” you say. “Be my boyfriend.”

He blushes. “I…I would love to.”

You grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him so deeply. Kento wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. You’re both tucked away on the side of the entrance, away from the rest of the world. The rest of the world could disappear and none of that would even matter to you and him.

“I love you,” he finally says once more.

You smile. “I love you too. I have for a long while now.”

It feels so good to finally say those words out loud with the person you love. It’s so natural, but it feels like this explosion of emotions has gone off inside of you. You feel like you’re shaking, and Kento feels similarly. He can’t quite wipe the stupid grin off his face.

“I want you,” he whispers in your ear. “Want you to be the one who takes my virginity.”

This makes your heart skip a beat. The words sound so sensual, even though he hasn’t really said anything dirty. You look up into his eyes and you notice just how dark they are. He looks very serious too, like he didn’t just ask you to be the first person to fuck him.

“...I want you too. Whatever you want, you can have that with me.”

He kisses you again, this time it’s a lingering kiss. His thumbs caress your cheekbones. He holds you close to him, like you are the only thing in this world that has any kind of meaning to him.

“I will always love you.”

The words feel warm inside of you. They make a warmth blossom so deep inside and it’s visible on your face. Kento smiles now too, loving the way you look at him like he is the only man who could ever make you smile.

“I will always love you too.”

With your fingers intertwined, Kento walks you home under the twinkling stars.

#bacon.writes #kento x reader #nanami x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #kento nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami kento smut #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #kento nanami x you #emo nanami #the first time aka how Nanami Kento lost his virginity #dividers by adornedwithlight #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader

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silverynight · 2 days ago

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Oblivious heart

Izuku is too focused on checking his email to see the crystal door on time; he realizes he's going to collide a little bit too late. It's not that bad, it won't kill him or injure him, but it'll probably hurt a little bit.

However, his face doesn't bump into it; Katsuki takes him by the waist and moves him out of the way like he weighs nothing while pushing the door open effortlessly.

"Thank you, Kacchan!" Izuku beams immediately; he forgets how strong Katsuki has gotten in the past few years.

"Be more careful, nerd," the pro hero grumbles, narrowing his eyes at him with more concern than irritation. "Besides, it's the weekend. I fucking know you're checking your email, you should be not thinking about work."

The young teacher blushes, basically confirming what Katsuki just said.

"Some of my students already sent their homework."

"You can check it on Monday."

Izuku puts his phone back in his pocket, mostly to appease the pro hero. Katsuki smirks triumphantly before putting an arm around his shoulders. The teacher is aware that people are watching them.

They decide to have breakfast in a cafeteria and talk about their respective jobs a bit. Sometimes, a couple of people approach them to ask them both for an autograph. It's been a while since the war, and Izuku knows young people know more Katsuki than they know him, so sometimes he thinks they ask him for his autograph not to make him feel bad. Or maybe because if they don't ask for his, pro hero Dynamight gets all grumpy and refuses to talk to them.

But sometimes, Katsuki also gets irritated when people approach him and talk too much to him, especially if they're the same age as he is or a bit older.

It confuses Izuku sometimes.

"You're amazing!" The young man says after a while; listing all the things he likes about Izuku the most, his courage, his determination and his selflessness until he makes the teacher blush to the tip of his ears. "Can I get you something? A coffee? Something to eat? Maybe we can go somewhere else–"

Katsuki, who just got back with their food, places Izuku's latte and the croissant in front of him, as well as his own breakfast on the table. He sits quite aggressively next to the teacher and puts an arm around his shoulders.

"Who the fuck are you?" He hisses, clearly irritated at the fan still standing next to their table.

"Kacchan, be nice!"

"Pro hero Dynamight!" The young man pales, looking from one to another, deflating immediately. "I didn't know you were hero Deku's–"

"I am. Fuck off."

Izuku scolds him then and tries to apologize, but the man is gone in the blink of an eye.

Katsuki pulls him even closer and looks around at the people watching, like he's daring them to approach their table. None of them do, obviously.

"This is why you're constantly dropping ranks. Kacchan, you have to work on your charisma a bit if you want to be number one!"

"I don't care."

That also confuses Izuku; Katsuki used to be so competitive when they were in high-school.

"Stop pouting because of me. I'll be fine, nerd."

Katsuki urges him to drink his latte before it gets cold, and that's the end of it.

***

Things change considerably after Katsuki gives him the hero suit. Izuku can't quite believe that he planned it from the moment they graduated from school. His friends helped too, and he's very thankful for it, but he knows Katsuki was the one in charge of the project.

Now that Izuku has been working as a pro hero for a year now, Katsuki seems more eager to become the number one.

It's fun to have someone always at his side, challenging and competing with him.

They're a hero duo now, just like they always wanted to be.

Even though they're together most of the time, Izuku is surprised Katsuki doesn't seem to get tired of him. Whenever they have free time, the other pro hero makes sure to hang out with him.

It's good that they both have their respective apartments though, no matter how much he misses Katsuki when he's not there because Izuku doesn't want to risk it.

Part of him thinks Katsuki will eventually get tired of him.

However, Katsuki doesn't think the same, for the past weeks, he's been trying to convince Izuku that it'd be more convenient for them both if they move in together.

They have just finished their patrol when Katsuki brings the topic up again. He does it after Izuku softly declines his invitation to dinner because he's honestly too exhausted to move. He just wants to lie down on his bed or maybe even the couch for a while.

"You should move in with me."

It's always tempting; Izuku likes his best friend, more than he should actually, but that's one of the reasons he refuses. Besides, Katsuki's apartment is amazing; the pro hero worked hard for it, especially because it has a great view of All Might's statue.

Fortunately, a reporter interrupts their conversation to make them a few questions. Katsuki grimaces at the sight of her, while Izuku makes an effort to focus on what she's saying, even though he's clearly exhausted.

When Izuku thinks she's done, a couple of other reporters approach them. He doesn't think he has the energy to answer their questions. But he can try.

At some point, Katsuki gets so irritated that he stops answering the questions directed at him and places himself in between Izuku and the reporters.

"Enough. Can't you see he's exhausted? Have some fucking consideration!"

Before Izuku can apologize on his behalf, Katsuki takes him in his arms and carries him away. The pro hero with green hair is so tired indeed he doesn't even tell him to put him back on his feet.

He had no idea his eyes were closed until he opens them again and finds himself in the passenger seat in Katsuki's expensive car.

"Are you hungry? I can make you katsudon if you want."

Izuku hesitates, he loves Katsuki's cooking, but at the same time, the thought of having to go back to his own apartment after dinner is so tiring already.

"You can stay with me tonight."

Part of him thinks he shouldn't; it'll probably make it more difficult to decline Katsuki's offer to move in together, but at the same time he really wants to have a sleepover with his best friend.

"Sure, Kacchan."

Katsuki looks way too happy about it. It's kinda endearing.

***

Only a month later, Katsuki manages to persuade Izuku into moving in with him. His apartment is huge so it's more than enough for two people.

They argue and fight as usual, but they manage to fix it every single time, and despite Izuku's fear, they don't seem to get tired of one another.

But of course, that's when the rumors get even stronger; their fans already talked about them being more than friends (which is not true) but now they seem convinced Katsuki and Izuku are in a relationship.

They claim that, since they both make enough money, there's no need for any of them to be roommates and just moved together because they're taking the next step into their relationship.

It doesn't help that every time Katsuki gets asked about that, he refuses to say a word or changes the topic like he's hiding something.

Izuku does deny it, but for some reason his answers are not that convincing for anyone.

"Just one last question, please!" The female reporter begs, looking very tempted to grab Izuku's arm to prevent him from leaving. "Are you dating pro hero Dynamight?"

Maybe it's the fact that Izuku always blushes when he gets asked that particular question or the fact that Katsuki approaches him whenever he hears his hero name and sometimes places his arm around his shoulders or waist.

"N-No! We're just friends!" Izuku stammers, hearing Katsuki's chuckle next to him as he pulls him even closer.

"Sure," the reporter mumbles, looking at them both with disbelief. "Thank you for your time, Deku-san!"

She's finally gone, but Izuku is sure there'll be lots of posts with the interview and screenshots of Katsuki with his arm around his waist to "prove" the exact opposite of what Izuku just told the reporter.

Even their friends have grown really curious about their relationship.

It doesn't help that whenever they finally have the time to hang out with some of them, Katsuki is always touching Izuku somehow. Izuku has convinced himself it's because his friend is more physically affectionate now, at least around him.

But he can tell Uraraka is getting tired of the both of them.

"I know you," she says the moment Kirishima and Kaminari manage to drag Katsuki away from them. "You cannot be purposely cruel, so the only reason you haven't finally kissed that poor man and ended his misery must be because you don't know he's in love with you. But honestly, that says a lot about you, Midoriya. I thought you were smart."

"Uraraka!" Izuku immediately blushes to the tip of his ears; he's not sure what got him so flustered, his friend saying that Katsuki loves him or the image of them kissing on the lips.

It's probably both.

"Don't 'Uraraka' me!" She rolls her eyes, clearly getting irritated. "I haven't seen anyone so devoted as him in my entire life! I thought you were going to realize it after finding out about the hero suit!"

"I know that he was in charge of it, but you also–"

"He dedicated eight years of his life to make it happen," she cuts him off. "Maybe he has never told you this, but he worked his ass off and made sure everything was perfect for you to have your dream back."

Having her saying it like that gets Izuku emotional again, and he immediately starts tearing up. Uraraka sighs but pulls him into a hug.

"I'm sorry he had to–"

"My point is not trying to make you feel guilty," Uraraka interrupts him again. "I just want you to realize how much he loves you because even though you two are clearly more happy now, I can tell you both want more."

"But what if... it's just too good to be true," Izuku finally blurts out. "I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"You won't, trust me."

"Izuku, are you crying?"

Katsuki's voice startles him, especially because he's suddenly next to him. Uraraka lets Izuku go as the other pro hero kneels in front of him and takes his hands in his.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Izuku can see the concern in those red eyes and the devotion, the clear adoration that he can't hide anymore.

"I'm fine, Kacchan," he mumbles, tearing up again, prompting the blond pro hero to start wiping the tears off with his thumbs.

"Did he drink too much?" He asks Uraraka then.

"He's just emotional."

"I'm alright, Kacchan!" He assures him, grabbing him by the sleeve to get his attention back. "Let's go home."

Katsuki nods immediately; there's no hesitation in his eyes, and after thinking about the last few years, it occurs to Izuku that he could ask anything and the other pro hero would give it to him. But that particular thought makes him blush to the tip of his ears and tries to shake it off immediately.

Even though Izuku assures him he's alright, Katsuki takes him in his arms and carries him out.

"You'll thank me later, Bakugo!" Uraraka says out loud, prompting Katsuki to narrow his eyes in confusion and Izuku to blush even more.

"What the fuck is she talking about?"

"I-I don't know!"

***

It's only after they're back in the apartment and Izuku has a cup of tea in his hands (that Katsuki made for him) that he decides to finally have a serious conversation with him.

Or at least say how he feels and hope for the best.

"Kacchan."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Katsuki drops his own cup of coffee, and although he manages to catch it before it hits the ground, the liquid inside falls all over his shirt. It's a good thing it wasn't that hot anymore.

Although he doesn't seem to give a fuck about any of those things.

"Kacchan, are you–"

"What did you just say?" Katsuki rushes to his side, cradling Izuku's face in his hands softly.

To prevent another accident, Izuku leaves his tea on the small table in front of the couch.

"Uhh..."

"Can you say it again, please?"

He can tell Katsuki is desperate to hear it again and Izuku is not going to deny him something like that at this point.

"I love you, Kacchan."

Cheeks turning slightly pink, the blond pro hero smiles almost in disbelief.

"Am I dreaming again?"

Izuku would like to know how many times Katsuki has dreamed about something like this, but maybe that's a conversation for another day.

Instead of answering, Izuku gives him a quick kiss on the lips.

Katsuki's hands move; he uses one of them to grab his waist and the other slides to the back of Izuku's neck. He uses both of them to pull him closer before kissing him.

But Katsuki's kiss is not quick or light; he kisses Izuku like he's been waiting for that moment for years, and Izuku kisses back with as much enthusiasm.

They both end up lying on the couch, wrapped around each other, pulling apart to breathe for a second before pressing their lips together again.

"I love you so much, you oblivious nerd," Katsuki whispers, voice turning deep as he starts kissing Izuku's neck and chin.

"I know. I know now, Kacchan."

"It took you a fucking long time, Izuku."

Izuku chuckles before kissing his boyfriend on the lips, making a mental note to tell Katsuki it was actually Uraraka the one who made him realize it.

They'll have to thank her later.

***

Patreon

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya

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pokemonshelterstories · 2 days ago

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Hey! Greetings from Floaroma, Sinnoh! Kinda need some advice.

I found a really large Aron in my garage, eating my partner's motorcycle and some ewaste we had lying around. When I say large, I mean, huge. Larger than any Aron I've seen in my life. Yamaha(the Aron) now refuses to leave. My partner got mad at me for naming him, and wants him out, pronto. Yamaha's taken a liking to not just me, but my Umbreon Nightlight and my Sylveon Monster Truck. I've put Yamaha out of the garage, even took him in my pickup to set him free a ways out of town, but he keeps coming back. I adore him, and he very clearly enjoys the presence of me and my current Pokémon, but I just can't keep him because of my partner. It's caused a rift between me and my partner, who already wasn't pleased when I said I had two Eevee. (He'd even previously asked me to give one up- Nightlight has been with me since I was 12 and Truckie was a transition gift from my brother, who bred me a shiny male Eevee. Obviously, both are still with me, but my partner was very hard pressed to accept that, even after 3 years!)

How do I get Yamaha to stop coming without breaking his little heart? I feel like he's telling me he's chosen me, and I've always wanted to train an Aggron, but my partner can't forgive him for eating his motorcycle. Yamaha gets so sad when I leave him or kick him off our property and it makes me feel evil, honestly. He's not anyone's Poké, I avoid actively feeding him so he's not encouraged to stay, I drive him farther and farther away every time but he keeps finding his way back to my house. He's such a goofy, loving Pokémon and I feel bad I can't take him in. I'm a little afraid to take him to a shelter, mostly due to his size and the fact that he's very much a wild Poké, I don't want to take him and then he ends up hurting the staff or they don't have the resources for him. What do I do? Do I hand Yamaha over to the Rangers?

-a very sad Eevee dad

hm. sounds like yamaha is probably a human-bred and released pokemon. aron usually live out in mountains with rich ore deposits and aren't particularly inclined to approach humans when they're wild-born. sounds like he's having a hard time finding proper food sources if he's been rooting around in your garage. to be honest, i don't think you're going to prevent him from coming back without sending him very far away. they're not easy pokemon to deter, which is why they're considered pests in a lot of regions with metal infrastructure. i think your best bet is to get him to someplace that takes problem wild pokemon.

a shelter may or may not take a wild aron depending on their resources, but if you talk to the rangers, they can find somewhere that's equipped to handle him. i really do think he's either a released pokemon or at the very least highly human-habituated; if you were to bring him to the artazon station, for example, we would place try to place him with a home rather than have him released back into the wild. if you decide not to keep him, the rangers are the best place to take him.

that being said...i mean, i'm not a relationship counselor, but is everything good between you and your partner? i can get not wanting to keep a random aron, especially one that ate something important to him. the fact that you named him after a motor company when he ate your partner's motorcycle is honestly kind...mean-spirited, i guess? at the same time, him wanting you to rehome a beloved pokemon is also kind of a red flag. ultimately it's not my business, but if i was having that kind of conflict with paulo, i'd want to go to relationship counseling. might not be a bad idea for you two?

#charlietalks #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #pokemon rangers #uh. best of luck. i guess?

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jjkarmy091 · 21 hours ago

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Second Best- Jungkook (part 10)

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Warning: strong language

Wordcount: 8.5k

Author's note: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Give me your thoughts. I love you all !

P.S : I'm sorry for any mistakes. English is not my first language!

Y/n wasn't always insecure about herself. Early in life she was a lively, extroverted and free spirit person, but life is unfair and unpredictable. Having the trauma of seeing her father abandon her and her mother for another woman, saying she was the reason why he stopped loving and caring for her mom, left something inside her that it was never possible to mend no matter how hard she tried, making her more focused on studies and goals than boys and dating while growing up. For her, love was an illusion and she wouldn’t make the same mistake as her mother.

Thinking about it now as she heads inside the apartment she shares with Lisa, she never gave anyone an opportunity, but as soon as she saw Jungkook she was drawn to him immediately without any explanation for it. Independence was her thing and she never thought she’d be capable of feeling the way she feels about him right now. Even if that meant that her friendship with Sewoon had to end.

Looking back she knows Sewoon was never a good friend to her and she deserves better. Despite knowing their personalities were completely different from each other, Y/n accepted her anyway. After all, Sewoon had been her first friend, the first person to defend her when necessary and for that she was truly thankful for her. She also knew a little about her past and even though their priorities were different, they understood each other like that.

Sewoon wanted to live life, have fun, go out, drink. Everything a teenager is supposed to do. She lost her virginity at 16 to a boy three years older than her who she met at a party. At the time Y/n asked her how was she able to do something so intimate with someone she had only known for a short time. Her best friend replied no one cared about that anymore. Truth to be told, after that she changed. A lot. Maybe that was when they started to drift apart a little bit. Y/n didn't like this change, not when she tried to do the same to her. Sewoon would share her experience regarding sex, how she did it, what she did and how good it felt. She was sexually active and made sure everyone knew about it, bothering Y/n. It was a subject that she didn't feel confident or comfortable talking about, however Sewoon pressured her to go the same path as her and that pissed Y/n off, but she would let it slide.

Maybe that was the main problem, letting it slide too muc. She never thought they would get to the point they are at today and that's sad. Now, Y/n was envious of all the experience she had acquired over the years, because with Jungkook it worked. He was so enthralled by Sewoon's beauty and comfort around guys, not to mention the way she won over boys, the subtle way of touching and talking to them when she tried to conquer them. Honestly, she admired the way she could make people who weren't interested in her focueds on her so quickly. Y/n knew she would never reach her feet in that way.

Everything that happened today with Jungkook was just one more thing to confuse her. What if she was imagining things? As far as she knows he could flirt like this with everyone else. What if he thought she was easy just because she had feelings for him and he was in need of more than she could give him? She has known him long enough to know he wasn’t part like this but still... One never really knows someone, right? Sewoon is living proof of this.

Walking in her room, Y/n went to change clothes and do her skin care, she had cried so much during the day that her eyes were swollen. She washed her face with cold water and dried it and putting a facial mask on. It was a very cold night but the moonlight helped to alleviate the darkness outside and she took advantage of being alone to go to the living room with her favourite book in hand, sitting in a chair next to the fireplace. The Y/n from a few days ago would be unable to tell Jungkook how she felt, yet both yesterday and today she had already confessed twice and had even confronted Sewoon. She never thought she would be able to raise her voice the way she did.

She somehow feels that Jungkook came into her life to break down all these walls around her heart with his sweet gaze and magnetic smile. She fell in love with him, but didn't have the courage to admit it (to him or herself), which ended up in her best friend dating him and yet she continued to desire him. Damn, she was so happy to know they had broken up, so she could rekindle her friendship with him and although knowing this was not something a good friend would do, at that moment Y/n doesn’t regret staying close to Jungkook, otherwise the moment they shared today wouldn't have happened at all. For that she also has Lisa to thank. God, she was very upset with her, but she ended up opening a path she never thought she would have with him.

Suddenly, she heard the main door open, announcing Lisa's arrival. Lisa hadn't even noticed her since when she arrived it was all dark. When Lisa heard a voice calling her in the distance she screamed and now it was Y/n's turn to laugh. Lisa put her hands to her chest and threw her keys at her in protest.

“You really scared the shit out of me Y/n. What the fuck are you doing with every light turned off? Are you a vampire and I didn’t notice it?” Lisa throws herself on the couch “Huuuuufff finally home! I've never had a day as long as this one. Meetings after meetings, just boring shit. How was your day? Was it a nightmare or a cool one?” Y/n gave a half smile

"Initially it was shitty, but it ended pretty well" Lisa raised her head and made a suspicious face.

“That means something did happen. Oh my god, is it Jungkook related?”

“Yes and no” Lisa was confused. “Last night before going to sleep I sent a text to Sewoon, trying to talk to her about the things I found out on that trip regarding Tae, but she didn't give me an answer so I didn't think much about it anymore. Today, it was almost time for my break when I saw her come in. I told Sana that I was going outside and would be right back, but the conversation didn't go as I expected. She was horrible Lisa, she said tons of shit that affected me a lot. I never met this person before. I saw a person I didn't know existed.”

“What did she tell you?” Lisa whispered and Y/n lowered her head, sighing.

“She basically said that she was happy I had disappeared without telling anyone, that the only bad thing was that Jungkook was constantly wanting to know my whereabouts and not even with the pictures she showed him did he calm down. Ohh and that she prayed for news to arrive that something bad had happened to me. She also mentioned that I had stolen Tae from her and that she’d do everything to be with Jungkook, especially since they had already been together a few times, so she had no doubt that he would choose her over me. A bunch of shit.”

“SHE SAID WHAT? God that girl needs a punch to bring her back to reality I swear the next time I see her I’m gonna end her. Who does she think she is f--” Y/n interrupted her

“It’s okay Lisa. Actually, I need to thank her. After that, I was so upset that Sana told me to leave, I needed to clear my head and you were working so I decided to take a walk. Somehow, I ended up in front of Jungkook's workplace, he ended up seeing me and went after me and insisted on bringing me home, however, I told him I had to make a stop by La Dolce Perla and we ended up having dinner there. Although things were VERY tense at the beginning, by the end of the night I ended up letting some things out and he didn't judge me or anything, quite the opposite, he kept me calm and respected me. There was something in the air you know? Something that was pulling us closer to each other. We almost kissed” Lisa squealed in excitement but then stopped and made a funny face.

“So why didn't you?”

“I - I don’t know... I guess he noticed how nervous I was. We were saying goodbye and then he told me he’d wait for me. I don’t know what kind of waiting was he referring to but somehow that gave me comfort, but I’m not sure it’s a good thing, I mean it gives me hope for a future for us but with Sewoon in the picture I--”

“Why don’t you talk to him about Sewoon? A real and open conversation where both of you get all the answers to your questions. You guys have a lot of connection, don’t miss that over misunderstandings.” Lisa said while hugging Y/n, excusing herself to get ready for bed. She had a very busy day in her company and she was wrecked. Y/n was tired too, so she went to her bedroom, did her routine and fell asleep, or at least she tried to.

On the next day Sana wouldn’t be there so she’d be with the new guy. She never got to make a full shift with him and she was curious to see how it’d go. By the time her alarm went off Y/n was wide awake and ready to star her day. She had the weirdest yet the best dream ever. It was about Jungkook and she was enjoying it so much that when she woke up she cursed her neighbor for making so much noise at 08:15 a.m.

She was going to make a double shift. She hated when her boss asked her favors like these but she really needed the money, that’s what kept her going. Getting there she saw Namjoon cleaning tables. Sana wouldn’t stop gushing over him, how cute he looked or how mature he was for someone his age. Even though Sana didn't have the courage to admit her feelings for him (yet, according to her) there was a palpable chemistry between them. The few moments that Y/n witnessed, made her think about her example, how much she thought she and Jungkook understood each other until Sewoon appeared. The day was passing by very peacefully. Right now there were only two customers so she and Namjoon took the opportunity to get some things done earlier. While at it, they got to know each other better and when they finished what they were doing, they ended up engaging in a deep conversation.

Okay, she had to agree with Sana, he had a great view on life and knew a lot for a 20-year-old. They were so absorbed in their conversation they didn't even notice the arrival of a new customer. Hearing the chirping of a throat in order to draw the attention of the two of them, Y/n was surprised to see Jungkook there with a look she couldn’t describe. Namjoon must have felt the weight of Jungkook’s eyes on him because he used some lame excuse to get out of there as soon as possible, leaving her alone with him.

“Jungkook, hi! I – I wasn't expecting to see you here at this time of the day. Usually you come a little later... Is everything okay?” Jungkook took a whole minute to respond, glancing between her and the door Namjoon had «escaped»

“Yes, everything’s fine. I hmmm- I was around and I-- I know it's almost your lunch time so I passed by to see if you wanted to have lunch with me.” He looks at Namjoon when he sees him walking out with some boxes. “But if you’re busy yo-”

“Imnotbusyatall” she answered so quickly Jungkook didn’t understand a thing so she had to repeat herself, calmer this time. “Sorry. I meant to say I’m not busy. I have two hours for lunch since I'm working double shifts today. I just wasn’t expecting to see you so... early. I mean, for someone who usually shows up around 9pm, it's quite surprising” She smiled, turning her attention to the door, only to see Namjoon walk in again looking at her and Jungkook. He gave her a thumbs up, she flipped him off surreptitiously. Jungkook, on the other hand, was paying attention to all these actions. He's never seen this guy before, maybe he didn’t pay much attention to him. They seemed to have hit off pretty nice and for some reason he didn't like that at all.

“I finished the morning session earlier than expected so I Ieft early as well. It's 10 minutes to 1 pm, can I stay here waiting for you or do you think you’ll have problems with that guy?”

“With Namjoon? Naah, he’s cool. I'll just tell him to come replace me so I can change clothes and we can go. I’ll be right back.” As said, Y/n went to warn Namjoon and went towards the locker room. She left after 5 minutes, seeing Jungkook waiting for her near the exit. Weird, he usually used to wait for her at the counter where she and Sana usually stay, where Namjoon currently is as well.

“Why are you waiting here? It’s not your normal spot you know? Joon won’t bite you for standing there” Y/n said laughing while approaching Jungkook. Seeing her, he adjusted his coat and smiled, opened the door motioning for her to go through it first, leaving behind her.

“I didn't like him, that's all, so I preferred to wait here. Besides, I didn't want to cause trouble. "

"Why would you cause trouble? It's not like this is the first time you've come in here or waited for me to leave. And what do you mean you didn't like him? Do you know each other by any chance? Where's the Jungkook who says we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover?” Y/n was teasing him and he knew it, answering with a little shut up. About five minutes away down the road there was a small burger place. It wasn't the first time they went there to eat, she loved the burgers there and the space was heaven. When they sat down, the waiter took their order and went to get their drinks, returning two minutes later. They both said thank you, giving some sips on their coca cola’s. Jungkook broke off the silence first.

“So..you and the new guy seemed pretty close. Cool guy hm?”

“His name is Namjoon and yes we got along quite well. You wanna know a fun fact? it was our first day working together officially. He started when I was on vacation and he’s been doing more day shifts with Sana. But yeah, he’s pretty nice. I was surprised, he’s younger than us but he’s pretty mature for his age and he made me laugh a lot today. It made my double shift a lot easier.”

“Ohhh”. Jungkook gave a few sips on his drink. “Glad it only took him a few minutes for you to be able to feel comfortable with him. It took me ages for you to look at my face. No one would tell it was your first time working together. You must have really liked him” Was he jealous?

“There’s nothing going on between us if that’s what you’re trying to know.” Jungkook chocked on his drink and tried to look everywhere but her. “We made a great team today but that’s it. He’s not my type. Besides, Sana has a crush on him. I’d never do that to a friend of mine”. Jungkook understood the hint. When he was about so speak, the waiter came with their orders. He waited for him to leave again so he could say what he wanted.

“I’m sorry” Y/n frowned.

“Sorry? What for?”

"It was bad of me to come between you and Sewoon. It's a long story and I have to tell you all about it, but at the same time I want to respect your space and time. I should have talked to you as soon as I realized something was going on, but I was confused and--” Y/n interrupted him.

“Were you happy? While you were with Sewoon I mean. Did she make you feel happy?” For the first time Jungkook didn't know what to answer because he genuinely didn't know. Looking back, he knows he was never in love with her, it was just a momentary thing. He realized this too late and now he’s paying for it. Y/n noticed his discomfort so she changed the subject. “This place is without a doubt the one with the best burgers. This is my second favorite place, I really enjoy coming here and this is sooooo good or maybe it's just me being so hungry.” She said, laughing at her own words. Jungkook laughed too. One of the things he never felt with Sewoon: lightness and tranquility. With her, everything was always a competition and based on image. Very controlled, very fake, very rehearsed.

During their meal, they talked about basic things related to life, work and dreams, ordered dessert and drank coffee. Jungkook paid their meals and even though Y/n refused he didn't listen, telling her to pay next time. When they got outside, Jungkook took out a cigarette and stayed like that, grabbing it. Y/n looked at him with a questioning face.

"How come I didn’t know you smoked? I mean every time we went out I never noticed. I was so surprised to see you smoking the other day”

"And you said you hadn't noticed me." He said laughing. "I don't smoke much, usually after coffee or when I'm nervous/anxious. I've always tried not to smoke around you because I know you don't like the smell, so I avoid it."

"Is that why you haven't lit your cigarette yet?" Jungkook looked at the hand that had the cigarette between his fingers. "Maybe" he said wrinkling his nose, looking at her with those sweet bambi eyes. God help her because she can't stay away from this man much longer. During their way back to her work she expected him to light the cigarette, but at no point did he do so. She even told him that if he needed to smoke to do it, that she didn't have to be an obstacle simply because she didn't like it, to which he replied that there were priorities and at that moment smoking wasn't one of them. She didn't say anything back but Jungkook noticed the blush on her cheeks and the shy smile on her face.

“I wasn’t happy” Y/n looked at him wondering what he meant by that. He keeps talking. “You asked me if I was happy with Sewoon and my answer is no. Everything was a facade between us and now I can see how dumb I was to call it love. There were no feelings between us, only physical attraction and illusions. I know I messed up bad by getting together with her Y/n and I wish I could take it back. Even though I didn’t know your feelings for me but it was wrong and you have no idea how bad I feel for hurting you, even without meaning to. I’m truly deeply sorry.” Y/n felt so bad for him. It was a mix of emotions and she just wanted to comfort him so she stopped walking, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, hugging him tight, whispering

"You're not to blame for anything. If anything I'm to blame because I was the one who didn't speak up." He moved away a little, although they were very close. "We don't control our feelings. It's not your fault that I fell in love with you just as it's not your fault that you felt something for Sewoon, just as I don't blame her for having something with you even though she knew about my feel--” She stopped talking when she saw his shocked face. His face changed drastically when she said Sewoon knew about her feelings, he was angry and you could see it. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Sewoon knew? She knew and you still insisted on pushing her to me?!” He was mad.

“What was I supposed to do? You’re my best friend and I was afraid of ruining it with you, then you wanted to meet her and I just couldn’t say no. I knew you two were perfect for each other. I- I didn’t want to be selfish- I -”

“FOR ONCE Y/n. Just for once you should’ve been selfish! Do you have any idea of how hard this has been for me? just to know that you were the one who gave me to her just like that? Was I not enough for you, was that it?”

“Jungkook, no... Wh- What are you saying? I was the one that wasn’t enough for YOU. That’s why I introduced you to her.” At this point Jungkook had already moved away quite a bit, running his hands through his hair.

“You were more than enough Y/n. You just didn't bother to face what was in front of you. Why do you want everything to be given to you? Is it really that hard for you to take control of your life for once? You would’ve avoided so many things Y/n. But you know what? I'm glad it was this way, maybe you and I weren't meant to be after all and we’re just realizing this now.” He sighed. “C’mon, I need to go and you have to go work as well.

The last minutes felt like hours. Y/n hadn't realized how things had gotten to that point, it wasn't possible to understand. She thought it was unfair that he was blaming her for not opening up, even though he was upset, but even so. When they arrived Y/n grabbed his arm once more.

“Jungkook, you can’t leave like this. You can’t drive being all raged up right now. Talk to me, please. I know I should’ve been more honest about things but I was scared and- and it’s not like you gave me any signs of any feelings either. I wanted you to be happy desp-” he released himself from her grip.

“I did gave you signs Y/n! I fucking did!That's why I'm so messed up. I - The only reason why I approached Sewoon in the first place was to have a reaction from you and to know things I knew I couldn't ask you directly.” It was Y/n’s turn to be shocked. What? “I know you avoid relationships and everything related to boys because you’re scared. If I told you how I felt or what I wanted I was scared you'd run away from me like you always do so I kept giving you signs Y/n but I had no reaction from you at all. I knew who Sewoon was from some pictures on your Instagram so when I challenged you to introduce me to her I was testing waters, however, your indifference remained there. It's not just my fault. I took you on dates and you would dismiss it, saying it was just two best friends hanging out. I left work every day and waited for you every day. In my free time I would come here to keep you company and be close to you while I sketch things that I could easily do at home. I have a cafe in front of my store and yet I’m- Always- Here- You can't be that oblivious Y/n. You were the one to put a label on us every goddamn time! You say you’re in love with me? No Y/n you’re not, otherwise you wouldn’t have given up so damn fast and give me to your best friend like a damn trophy the moment she asked. Hurts to know that I didn't deserve a second thought.” Y/n could only look at him. He looked so damn honest and he was so disappointed in her. There was hurt all over his face and that was killing her. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t so she did what she always does: let him go.

She shouldn't have let him go. The rest of the day was fulfilled with anxiety and guilt. Every day she discovered new things and every time she thought her and Jungkook were stepping forward, they took five steps back. She was ruining everything good she had ever dreamed of with her cowardice and lack of communication. She should've gone after him, yet pride got the best of her.

Like always.

After the argument he got in the car and left. At first she tried not to think about it too much, but then she felt the guilt consume her. When she was alone with just a few clients, she sent several texts to Jungkook, apologizing for the way things happened, for them to talk and clear things up once and for all.

No response.

Lisa was going to spend the night out, so once again she found herself alone in that giant apartment. Without thinking she called Jungkook, going straight to voicemail all the six times she tried. The only positive thing was that the next day it'd be her day off and she’d try to talk to Jungkook and clear things up.

Hopefully

The next day Y/n woke up with a huge weight beside her bed. When she opened her eyes she saw Lisa looking at her with a smile from ear to ear.

"Good morning, sunshine. I'm going to do something crazy and I want you to come with me. Hurry up, get even more pretty and let's go. If I’m late and loose my turn I'm going to kill you.”

That's what consisted being friends with Lisa: waiting for her to wake her up at 9:30 in the morning for something that had popped into her mind out of pure spontaneity was just an example of it. She was adventurous and left nothing undone or unsaid because, according to her, you only live once and she would rather regret what she didn't do than everything she tried and failed at.

That's how at 10 in the morning Y/n found herself in front of the tattoo shop where Jungkook works. The only thing she wanted to do was turn around and leave. Gosh, he's been ignoring her attempts to contact him, how could she just walk in there like nothing was happening? She remembers talking to Lisa about getting tattoos. She never had courage for it, besides, Sewoon would tell her all the time they wouldn't suit her, thus she gave up of the idea. Lisa encouraged her, saying that when she did hers Y/n would do it too, but now, her stomach was churning and it seemed like the only thing that was going to come out was vomit. When they arrived at the entrance Y/n stopped.

“I can’t go in with you. I’m sorry”

“What do you mean you can’t? You can’t leave me alone at it. Also, I booked you a session so you have to show up.” Lisa said innocently.

“You knew Jungkook works here, didn't you? You little bi--”

“Hey hey hey. There’s no time for that my friend. We're about to get hotter and have something marked on us. Let’s go.” She was fucked. Lisa linked her arm with her and they walked inside. It was a very peaceful place, with drawings on display, music playing and a diffuser. Of course. Jungkook was addicted to smells and very weird about them too.

The first person they saw was the red-haired lady Y/n had seen close to Jungkook the other day. Seen up close, she was even more stunning. Since Lisa was the one scheduling the session, the red-haired who introduced herself as Athena went to talk to Lisa to see what was she interested in. As she talked to her about the type of tattoo she wanted, presenting some sketches too for her to choose, Y/n looked around, praying she wouldn't see Jungkook while being there.

“What about you? What kind of design did you think of?” She asked Y/n, giving her a genuine smile. "First time? You don't have to stress about it honey, it's most likely for you not to feel a thing"

“Ohh I didn’t think of anything... You see I was totally caught up on this. I didn't know I was coming so I didn'--- "

“Her idea was to make a semicolon on her wrist. Something simple. Y/n, babe, we talked about this. You’re not gonna chicken out right?” Y/n looked at her friend and her answer shocked herself more than anyone else in the room. “Okay. Yes you’re right Lisa. I’m already here so why not?” Lisa opened her mouth, closing it up immediately, smiling. Change comes with little steps.

One step at a time

Athena showed Lisa some ideas until she finally chose what she liked the most. She was getting a sternum tattoo and the sketch Athena did was a piece of art, all those lines and details were just too perfect. She then excused herself to pick something up, disappearing for about 2 minutes, that's all it took for disaster to happen. While they were waiting for her to return they saw Jungkook walk through the door with two coffees. As he placed them on a small table in the entrance, Y/n realizes he didn't see them there, at least not until Athena returned to the room and spoke to him, causing him to look up where they were standing.

"Yooh Jkaay I'm glad you got here. Can you finish this design for me? I have these two pretty ladies here and the client will come by later to see if the drawing is ready but there are some parts I'm having trouble getting right, can you help me with this?” As soon as Jungkook looked up, he met Y/n's gaze, which was already focused on him. He had no reaction. “Hey lover boy. I know they’re pretty but I’m kinda waiting for an answer here”

“Hmmm.. Oh yeah- yes. You can leave it there I’ll be sure to give it a look.” his gaze was intense as it met yours but didn't say anything, as if he didn't know you. Athena thanked him and directed the two of them to a large room. While her friend took her shirt off and laid down on her back, Athena settled everything on the sterilized table. Y/n was inspecting the drawings on the wall, realizing Jungkook's signature on the end of all of them. After placing the artwork where Lisa wanted Athena grabbed the tattoo machine, filling the room with the sounds the needles working and Y/n got scared. She was sure that was gonna hurt. 10 minutes in there's a knock on the door. After Athena replied, Jungkook walked in the room with what Y/n thought was the drawing she asked him to check.

“This is fantastic Kook. If the idiot doesn't like it I'll have it myself. It's incredible." Jungkook smiled and looked at Y/n and then at Athena again. "This is going to be a lot of work Ath. It's full of details and has such a thin line. You have to be careful not to smudge as you clean it."

"I know, I hadn't realized that. It's going to be a challenge but it'll look cool on her body. I still have her friend to tattoo but that’s something small and quick.” Jungkook looked at her way.

“I can do it. I’m free and won’t have any client until noon.” Y/n froze in the moment. No fucking way.

"I can wait. It's okay, really." Jungkook looked at her, picked up some still-closed material and opened the door. "Come on, I'll take care of it." And for a second, Y/n didn't know how to breathe anymore

Jungkook was waiting for her to follow him. When he noticed she wasn't moving at all he called out for her name again. Unconsciously, Y/n ended up getting up and going after him but she didn't leave without looking at the place Athena and Lisa were, noticing the strange expression Athena made. Had Jungkook ever mentioned her?

He went ahead, taking her to a more private room which was on the first floor. It was quite far from all the other rooms and common area. When they arrived there, he motioned for her to sit in front of what she assumed was Jungkook's desk. There were photos of several people, she doesn’t remember meeting any of them until one got her attention: it was a picture of Jungkook and Sewoon together. He was wearing white and she was wearing a black dress. She remembers this day very well- It was in the beginning of their relationship and Sewoon was having a party with her agency and Jungkook was her date, they were both so pretty and cuddly and looked so into each other. Jungkook was treating her like a princess and it was the first time Y/n felt anger towards her best friend. She cried all night after getting home, spying Sewoon's instagram and all the love-dovey pics she was posting. What a night

He sat on the chair in front of Y/n, behind his desk to sketch what she wanted to tattoo when he noticed where her eyes were wandering at, grabbing the picture and putting it in a drawer. She didn’t say anything, looking everywhere but him.

“According to Athena you wanted just a simple semicolon on your wrist, right? So I did sketch want you wanted but added something more. If you don’t like it or want it you can say it and I'll do just what you initially wanted okay?” Jungkook showed her a design of a semicolon with a butterfly wing around it. It was honestly so beautiful. She remembers saying to him one time she identified herself as a butterfly, because no matter the situation she was going through she could always adapt herself and learn from it. Did he remember that?

“I- I love it Jungkook. This is so pretty and personal, I- Thank you, this is amazing. I’ll have it that way”

“Are you sure? It’s gonna be there forever”

“I’m 100% sure. Start this before I lose my courage” Jungkook gave her a nod, taking the paper and putting it on her skin with some wet liquid. He could tell she was nervous so he told her when he was about to start. “If you need me to stop let me know. We have time okay?” Y/n nodded

“You have amazing sketches here. Not that I didn't know but you're super talented, I feel grateful that it’s you doing this on me. When you become a world-renowned artist I'm gonna brag about it, I’m already warning you.” After their fight yesterday, Y/n was trying to ease the tension between them but he was making it hard. She missed Jungkook and wanted to clear things up with him. She was done with all the confusion and misunderstandings, however, Jungkook remained in silence. “Please Jungkook I’m trying. I miss you. I miss us. I don’t even understand what happened yesterday and I’m sorry for hurting you in any way. I’m tired of this! You're driving me crazy by leaving me in this void. I'm not like this Jk, you know it. I don't care about boys but just the thought of losing you is killing me. That's the effect you have on me!” He wasn’t paying attenton to her at all, or maybe he was just ignoring her on purpose, either ways she was getting more and more frustrated and did her best to keep her tears to herself since she couldn't get out of there. With her free hand, she surreptitiously wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve. What she didn’t know was that Jungkook was paying attention to all her movements.

“I’m sorry. I talk a lot with my clients for them to relax a bit but with you... I feel like if I talk I'm not gonna be able to concentrate and I don’t want to mess this up. You make me nervous just with your presence. That's the effect you have on me Y/n. When it comes to you I can't separate things”

"I could’ve waited for Athena to do it. Actually I think it’d be better, given the situation we are at right now. Damn Jungkook I put my guard down for you and now you're treating me like this, what for? You criticize me for avoiding things, yet you're doing the exact same thing, it's not fair. You can't say whatever you want, make me feel bad and then do the same to me. I know I messed up somewhere. I know I should've been braver, but you are such a special and necessary part of my life that I was afraid of you not feeling the same way, could break everything we built so far, which is stupid right now because that's exactly what happened. There is no way we can go back to what we were before” By the time she ended her speech, Jungkook was already putting the final touches on the tattoo, being done with it. Both of them remained silenced until he had picked up the tattoo protection to place it around her skin.

“Let’s do it then. Let’s put everything on the table and be honest because honestly I can’t handle this anymore too. Where do you want me to start? From the day we first met? I had the shittiest day ever it was raining so much. That’s what made me stop at the coffee shop. Then you looked absolutely gorgeous standing there looking at me and when you noticed I was staring back and pretended to have lost an earring, that caught my attention, how innocent and naive you looked. Then I started to get to know you better and it was it for me. It was so hard not to fall for you. I kept taking you out to places but you always friendzoned me somehow, I would tell you about non existing dates to see your reaction but you always had the same posture, I came to terms that it was a one-sided thing. Then Sewoon happened. When you introduced us, honestly I was very straightforward with her. I asked her about you, if you liked someone if you ever talked about me, you know, something to give me hope. But the answers she gave me weren’t the ones I expected to hear and I was so disappointed.” Y/n's system was soon on alert.

“What- - What did she tell you?” Jungkook took a while to answer which was making her impatient. She was about to lose her mind.

“She told me you were seeing someone and it was getting serious. That she was sorry but wouldn’t get in the way. After that, we kept talking a little more and when I was about to leave she was the one asking me to go out with her. Just a simple date so I said yes, maybe that would help me take my mind of you. Then things happened and time skipped and we broke up and yeah I didn’t take that well because no one likes to feel they failed at something, but I’m so glad we did. We didn’t align in anything, we fought a lot behind doors. Then came the party you and Sewoon went. I was already there remember? You looked so sad and the first thing I remembered was the guy you were supposed to be seeing. I was hoping you were long gone with the dude but the way you were acting and how you were talking to me ended up confirming Sewoon’s words about you and that special someone and I--- I lost my mind.”

“So you ended up kissing Sewoon to relieve all that anger, right?” She got up and slowly turned her way towards the door when Jungkook grabbed her arm.

“That was a terrible mistake. As soon as I realized what I did I stepped back immediately. After that I looked everywhere for you, but I didn’t found you. When I did, you told me you were leaving with someone and that was it. I tried talking to you all night but your phone was either out of reach or you wouldn’t respond.” There's this awkward silence until one of them spok again.

“That night broke me Jungkook. You broke me. I was there, I was hurt and you noticed something was up but all your eyes were looking at was Sewoon. I wished so many times it was me you were kissing, holding, touching. I'd see you with her and all I imagined was us. That was so toxic of me, that's why I left, because I couldn't see you leave with her knowing the next day I'd know everything about it."

They didn't realize how close they were until they felt each other's breath hitting their faces. Y/n doesn't know when things changed, but since the night at the restaurant there is something that pushes them towards each other. She gets a strange feeling in her belly, in her chest… down there. It's strange, she never felt something like this for anyone and it was confusing her. She knows if he asked her something she'd do it on the spot. It seems like Jungkook could feel the tension either because the hand that was previously on her arm was now around her waist, while the other caressed the right side of her face tucking some hair behind her ear. It was then that she felt the distance between them getting shorter and shorter, when all of a sudden they heard someone knock on the door, opening it, revealing Athena's slightly confused figure.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, I heard voices and came to check if you were okay, as it's not usual for you to bring anyone here. I-- hmm- just wanted to let you know that I finished Lisa's piece and we're downstairs drinking some coffee and talking in case you'd want to join us when you finished whatever you were.... doing, but no pressure, make yourself comfortable, I didn't see anything. Use protection, okay? You still have a life to enjoy before any surprises." Jungkook made a desperate sound looking at Athena and throwing something at her

"Don't be an idiot, it's not what it looks like and you know it. Anyone hearing you talk would think you see me doing a lot of dirty things here. Work is work and I take it very seriously." Jungkook paused, glacing at Y/n, just to speak again. " We'll meet you downstairs in 10 minutes, I just need to finish explaining how she should handle this in the next few days." Athena hummed, giving them a nod before leaving. However, they heard her tell Lisa that - they were busy and would probably take longer to joy them- They knew she spoke loud for them to hear. Jungkook went to a drawer and took out a cream, handing it to Y/n.

"For the next three days you must avoid direct sunlight on the area. This protection should last for 24 hours, then you can remove it in the shower or by wetting the area with warm water, drying it well and applying the cream two or three times a day. If you feel any itching, that's normal, but if you see red spots around it let me know so I can check it out. But in principle, everything should be fine." Y/n nodded and thanked him, grabbing her wallet, heading towards the door but stopped halfway and turned around, facing Jungkook.

"Did you sleep with Sewoon here?"those words came out faster than Y/n could control. Why the hell did she ask that. Jungkook wasn't expecting that either, because his mouth opened and closed several times, not knowing what to answer, a little embarrassed. This gave Y/n a feeling that maybe the answer was yes. "Never mind, sorry, I don't know why I asked this. Forget it." She turned around again ready to open the door. She was about to do so when a hand above her head slammed the door shut again with a bang.

"Why do you always put me in difficult positions? It's past and - aiish- No Y/n, I didn't. This is my office, my space, my privacy, I don't bring anyone for anything more than work, not even Sewoon. This wasn't exactly the space she liked to frequent the most" Y/n nodded.

"I don't know why I asked, I'm sorry. Being here knowing that you and her were- you know- that would be just weird and gross. I mean, who knows what kind of "things" would be around here and-- Okay, nevermind. How about we go down? They're waiting for us and will start thinking stuff about us being here."

"So? Let them think what they want to think.. I'm not bothered at all. Are you?" When Y/n was about to answer, the door opened without warning revealing an excited Athena again, but she didn't realize that when she opened the door she had hit Y/n with it. "Shit Ath be careful. Knock before coming in. Jesus"

"Dude, I don't know what the situation is between you two, but behind the door is definitely not the best place. Been there, done that. It's interesting but not comfortable. Also, why are you so bothered by the knocking thing all of a sudden? That was never a rule. Just put something on the door handle to when you're busy doing other things. That's what I do with your broth-"

"Aiiiishh Athena. I'm not really interested in what you and my brother do or don't do, How disgusting. We were just talking! Stop being nosy and up on my ass. What's the matter with you today? why are you always coming here thought? You never care when I’m upstairs”

“Well you’re always by yourself, there’s nothing for me to pry on. Either way, I came here to tell you that the client you had for noon called to inform he’s no longer able to come. His wife went into labour, so you’re free for now”

“Well at least is for some good reasons. I’ll call him up later to reschedule.” Athena would steal glances from Jungkook to Y/n with a funny look, trying to see something she could pick up to tease them more “Anyway, I think I’ll grab lunch with Lisa. She’s pretty rad. Do you wanna come?” It was Y/n’s turn to speak

“I actually have some things to get done, but you go and have fun. Maybe we can grab a coffee later?” All she wanted was to run. After that stupid question she made she just wanted somewhere to hide.

“Of course, just give me your number. It’ll be easier” they both switched numbers and Athena gave a final goodbye to her, giving her a hug and winking to Jungkook, whispering behave before shutting the door completely. What the hell.

“So... The girls are leaving and you probably have things to do too so I should get going as well. I have to meet up with Joon, he asked me if I could stop by so hmmm, yeah. Thanks for your time. If - if I have any questions I’ll pass by. Thank you once again." This was her cue to leave. Uttering those words she was out of the door, running down the stairs getting closer and closer to the main door but when she reached it, it was locked.

Goddamn it!

She was thinking about calling Lisa to turn around and wait for her when she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't dare to look back but in question of minutes she felt Jungkook's chest against her back, hearing him whisper

"Why are you always in such a rush when it comes to me? What are you so afraid of?" Jungkook turned her around to face him. "Let yourself go Y/n. For me, for you, for us. We've been over the friendship thing for a while now, don't you think? No matter how much you try to deny it, the attraction is here" He was so close to her she could feel his heartbeat.

"I can't" She whispered. "Everytime I look at you I get myself reminded of how you used to be with Sewoon. There was her before me and I can't compare. I can't erase that image of my head. I- I want to forget, but I can't"

"I'll help you forget. Let me help you forget, but mainly let me show you how there's no comparison between you and her" They were so close and there was so much desire so she let herself go and feel all she wanted, grabbing Jungkook by the hem of his grey shirt and closing the distance between them. The response to the kiss was automatic. Y/n felt Jungkook kiss her back as if he had already been waiting for this moment. Slowly at first, like they were testing each other, until he slowly pushed her against the door, placing his hand behind her neck, deepening the kiss. She never had a kiss like that. At this point she felt the entire zoo inside her and she was aware of everything around her: of how Jungkook's hands were hovering over her body, how their mouths were thirsty for each other, the way their bodies were so close yet so far.

It was just them and their desire for each other. And at that moment that was all that mattered.

Bonus: The famous tattoos made

Lisa’s OC'S

You're welcome ;)

Tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995 @blueberriesm @darkangelfei

#jungkook #angst #bts #jungkook imagines #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #fluff #imagines #kpop romance #kpopangst #tattoos

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raayllum · 1 day ago

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Lissa as Soren's Shadow Self

Intro

So sometime after S5 I talked about how most of the main cast had a 'shadow self' walking around—another character within the narrative that represents a bad end or dangerous/alternative path they could walk. Callum has Viren, for example, but also Finnegrin (both men are trapped in 5x08, both seek dark magic to free themselves from their perceived captors, albeit for different reasons, etc). Ezran was going to have Harrow's anger and the Orphan Queen; Rayla has Runaan's bow/duty as an assassin, and Kim'Dael, etc.

Someone who has already had a tragedy of some kind befall them versus their present day counterpart who will be twisted into repeating their choices while also, occasionally or ultimately, making better ones.

At the time, it felt like neither Soren nor Terry really had one. Claudia could suffice for both of them, to an extent; Claudia was very much repeating the cycle of use and dark magic and violence of "Viren to Claudia" to "Claudia to Terry and Sir Sparklepuff," with Terry fitting into the spot of who Claudia had been in the past: goofy, loving, non-corrupted. This is, admittedly, made more textual in S7, with Terry able to see the map whereas Claudia no longer can, contrasted parallels of the bird in 2x09 being not the first time Claudia uses someone (that'd be Callum in 2x02/2x03) but the first time she uses someone to get dark magic ingredients and earns her first white streak... vs the birds in 7x04 being what makes Terry realize he is being used, and one of the big things (symbolically) that represents and reinforces his decision to leave.

Soren also had parallels to his sister as a foil—both Viren's children, both manipulated by him, but Soren left whereas Claudia stayed—and to his father, as of arc 2. Both had their physical situations fixed without their input (Claudia healing Soren's paralysis and resurrecting Viren), leaving Claudia confused and frustrated when the situations emotionally changed them. Just as Soren had realized he was on the wrong side in arc 1, Viren was steadily learning that too, although it hadn't quite come to fruition yet.

Terry too, likewise, has very strong textual parallels to Lissa thanks to season 7. Like Lissa, he is used by his partner ("young Terrestrius has what we need" / "I needed her tears. Something so simple and easy") and leaves. In many ways, his dialogue with Claudia directly clarifies / invites insight onto Lissa's feelings ("Because you didn't trust me to make my own choice" -> "she shook her head. She said no"). Claudia most notably even frames their rationale the same way.

I think she had to leave for herself, to be happy somehow. (2x09) But he had to leave. For himself. (7x04)

Within the narrative and Soren's own family dynamic, however, Lissa being Soren's shadow self I think is still the primary usage of the device for each of them, even over Terry and Lissa.

And here's why.

The Semi Obvious

There's the obvious parallels, of course. Soren and Lissa are both blond; they both leave the family, and leave the family specifically with mind to the fact they no longer feel safe.

SOREN: I don't want to do this. (3x07)

This is different as to why Terry leaves. While all three leave to preserve a sense of identity, this motivation is only stated outright for Terry by himself ("[and if I stay] I'm not sure I can really be me anymore / but I love myself the way I am"). For Lissa it's implied, thanks to her parallel to Terry, and for Soren it's symbolic: leave, lest Viren change/turn him into a 'literal monster'. Terry too resists the idea of changing for the worst, but Lissa and Soren frame Viren (their shared 'changer,' whereas Terry has Claudia and Aaravos) in far more critical terms. Whereas Terry believes even after leaving that Claudia can be saved (is still 'good'), Lissa and Soren do not think the same.

SOREN: You've seen what's going on. You saw what Dad turned Kasef into [a monster]. What Dad turned into. (3x07) VIREN: She saw my face and she trembled. She said, "You've become a monster." [after the assault] And I knew she was right. (6x06) SOREN: That's a villain. My dad is a villain. [...] The only way to stop this is to look evil in the face and say no more. (3x08)

This turn from Viren, of course, causes all three to do the same thing: leave, even if that means leaving Claudia, but more on that in a second. First, I want to make a pit stop at what I call

Narrative Weight

Being alive and feeling things are two of the most complex things that can exist, with human existence being just a shit ton to conceptualize even just as individuals, nevermind when it comes to other people or strangers. Therefore, all stories have an aspect of condensation—condensing concepts or feelings into things we can conceptualize and understand within a fictional narrative in order to make it relatable or communicative. We go for personal details and personal relationships.

An example in TDP could be how while Janai and Amaya face a political clash of human-elf cultures in season 4, Rayla and Callum face an interpersonal one. Obviously there are going to be broader cultural differences than just mourning rites, but it's grounded in something familiar and often sacred; likewise, Callum and Rayla figuring out where they fall after that clash split apart their relationship takes centre stage in season four. Both of these couples are made up of individuals, but their relationships symbolize things—a fresh start for the Sunfire elves, the reconciliation of elves and humans and the continent.

Narrative weight.

And Soren carries Lissa's.

This is largely due to how closely interwoven the two become as we get the backstory in season 6. Lissa was violated by Viren in order to save Soren; after she left the family, Viren blamed Soren for it. In many ways, he likely felt like he'd traded her for his son, and found the balance lacking. And when tasked with Viren being presented with treating another family member as spell parts, even now with that family member's consent, he refuses.

Soren and his request/willingness provides Viren the chance to take the weight he placed on Soren over Lissa and her leaving off Soren's shoulders, narratively and symbolically. However, the two are linked not just through Viren, but also through Claudia.

First, a side note:

Inversion

The other big interesting psychological underpinning, I think, is that as of season 7 there's no way that Soren has finished processing his feelings about Viren, or Viren's apology/amends... yet he clearly believes now that his father did change and that they were effective, because illusion!Lissa repeats more than a few of them verbatim.

The choice to have illusion!Lissa's apology mirror Viren's is interesting to say the least, and a look into Soren's psyche at least partially. It shows that while some things from Viren did resonate enough for Soren to think they'd be effective with Claudia, and also possibly things Soren thinks his mother would never say otherwise.

Part of this is because, as stated, Lissa and Soren are inversions of each other. The inversion of one offering consent but being refused vs not offering and being violated. There are also smaller parallels, such as Viren routinely going after Soren's intelligence versus the one descriptor he has of his wife.

SOREN: Dad is so smart, so I figured there must be a good reason. (2x07) SOREN: Wait, I know I'm not the smartest, but I know what you said. (3x03)

Inverted parallels of staying and leaving. Of Soren being angry at his mother (and Terry) for doing—in some ways—exactly what he did to Claudia. Making her choose, and leaving her when she won't.

With that in mind, let's round back to Claudia, and how she links Soren and Lissa to one another.

Claudia

Season seven in some ways hammers home both Lissa as a representative for saving her children's relationship, and why it fell apart in the first place. Let's talk about the second facet first.

For example, one of the crucial things that Soren learned and internalized from Lissa is that Claudia doesn't make her choices.

CLAUDIA: And Soren chose Dad. How could I choose? How could I do that? Then my mom looked at my dad and she told me to stay.

This is why Soren has to wrestle with new aspects of his dynamic with Claudia in season 7 in such a difficult way. In prior seasons, he and Viren could both blame Viren for Claudia's actions and choices, and did so.

SOREN: Dad is dead, Claudia. You don't have to do what he wants anymore. (4x07) VIREN: I know I have set my sweet, brilliant daughter down the wrong path. I have led you by the hand and I have led you by my example. (6x01) VIREN: I have watched Claudia walk down such a dark path, Soren. And I set her on it. I am to blame. (6x05) SOREN: Put down the staff, Claudia. Dad's staff. (7x06)

This is why after Claudia asserts her own agency and choices ("Okay. Follow me" / "No, [the staff] is mine now") that Soren doubles down on his previous sentiments: "If you won't stop, then I will stop you" (4x07) to "we have to stop her" (7x08). It's taken a long time, but he's unlearned the idea his mother passed down, and can see Claudia is culpable and responsible for her choices — even if that strips away the defenses he still had up in regards to being unwilling to hurt her.

However, Lissa still represents / carries the narrative hope of the siblings reconciling for two clear reasons. One is the shot below, which is about as on the nose as you could possibly get.

The other is because of the contrast the broyals provide in 7x09 that also harkens back to 2x09 directly:

CALLUM: I said I hated you, and would hate you forever. And Mom said it was okay to be angry, but that I couldn't let the bad feelings stick. Because we were going to need each other. Because we're brothers. I still need you, Ezran.

CLAUDIA: And [Mom] told me to stay. She said that I had to stay with Soren, that this was my home, and that my brother and I needed each other.

Lissa is also an important tenet for Soren, because in order to confront and deal with his lingering anger towards her for abandoning them, he has to also come to terms with his own feelings and recognize Claudia's about him abandoning her. Once they work through that, they can work their way back to other from the brink, because their mother was right. They need each other, and they always will.

Because Lissa is Soren's shadow self, and in some ways, Soren is his mother and sister's light.

#tdp #the dragon prince #tdp soren #soren #lissa #analysis series #morally ambiguous fam #arc 2 #multi #analysis #knight sibs #arc 3 #s7 #s6

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marithempressz · 1 day ago

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Pick a Card - March 2025

I hope you can enjoy this reading :)) If you're interested I make personal readings and also energetic work. Choose the pile that your eyes and intuition calls the most and don't forget that's a general reading.

Deck used: Rider-Waite Tarot

Choose your pile!

pile 1

pile 2

pile 3

pile 1

Judgement. End of the deck: Ace of Wands.

It’s time, wake up! There’s a collective waiting for those messages, I feel that good news is expected to show up. The Judgement is a card which portrays the dead arising. If you were bed rotting or something like that, waiting for a miracle, expecting for things to taste less bitter than it is right now, then March is giving you a chance to feel better.

This pile must be for the light workers. I don’t know if you’ve been feeling a bit depressed for those past two months, but 2025 beginning was not so gentle with us in general. For all humanity, actually. This is an important year for expanding our spiritual side, so those feelings are quite normal when things are getting to change. This “change” we are talking about is a big one. For the same amount of darkness we’re going through right now there’s the opposite nature, light, waiting for us.

For today, we’re having the New Moon in Pisces. It's important for us to make a ritual for the following year. We’re ending cycles and giving perspective for new ones, the portal is open so you can put your magic on it. For March, we’ll have Venus retrograde in Aries. That's why The Judgement is here so you can make good decisions related to your own worth, the way you see abundance in your life, your relationships and how much your passionate side is connected to your life. I recommend you to go and see what area of your life Aries is placed in, so you can understand more clearly what’s gonna happen. There’s more work ahead for us light workers, but I have a good feeling about it. Not just because this will build something for us in the future, but there’s also a favorable energy with this Ace of Wands, you’ll probably feel more energetic, optimistic with the work you’re doing and passionate. Wish you a great and magic month!

Pile 2

Knight of Wands. End of the deck: The Fool.

We’re getting closer to Aries season, there’s some movement here, just like pile 1. Maybe the movements are mostly in your head? I feel a bit of a headache, are you taking care of yourself properly? I also felt like there’s too much work involved, maybe you’re giving too much of your energy to work, maybe you’re an Aries or other fire sign. Usually those natives can be workaholics, pay attention to what your body is telling you. There’s a lot of tension here, a feeling that you can’t move a lot, a big pressure over your body.

I don’t know if this is a present feeling or if this is a future situation, but with The Fool, I feel like it’s time for you to be a bit more “irresponsible”, to free yourself from this prison. By irresponsible I mean that this is the perfect time for you to give zero fucks about what’s society’s expectations related to work. Not just society, but maybe an authority figure from your life that you might think you should please or something.

Get some rest, it’s time for you to break free, make decisions that are in alignment with yourself, with your limits. Know your limits, don’t let anyone use your ignorance about yourself for their own purpose. Your life is more than working. Wish you a relaxing and rebellious month!

Pile 3

The Emperor, Two of Cups.

I shuffled and those cards fell out, so I won’t look at the end of the deck. So, when first looking at The Emperor I felt a bit of disgust and also a feeling on my stomach, like fear. It wasn’t a good feeling, I felt my guts cold. Maybe there’s a masculine presence in your life that evokes those feelings in you? And this is probably something related to the masculine in general in your personal life. I feel like this is someone specific here, because of the Two of Cups, maybe you’re or were involved with this person. They don’t have to be a man, but they carry a more intimidating energy, like they have some sort of power here, maybe over you.

Whatever this situation is, March is giving you a chance for you to choose again. Choose what’s best for you, this person or this type of person is not what’s good for you. The Emperor here is not only talking about this person but also showing what aspects are willing to be used in you, they exist in you. This power this person seems to have over you it’s actually the power in you that’s being misused, so you could start using it by deciding what you want in your life. It’s cliché, but you’re the emperor of your own life. Wish you an empowering month!

#tarot blog #tarot brasil #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #pick a card #astro observations #pac #tiragem #march 2025 #general messages #spirited away

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haologram · 3 days ago

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get to know me! 🍀

i was tagged by many people, but only remember @seungkw1 atm LOL note: if you were tagged and are looking for it, it is likely at the bottom! feel free to scroll past to see what was pinged for you <3

what's the origin of your blog title? i love xu minghao. that's about it <3

favorite fandoms? unfortunately, i have been neckdeep in fandomland since i was a kid, and i've been across many different ones. currently: enhypen, seventeen, stray kids, ateez, got7, monsta x, bangtan...lots of 'em 😭 but i am also into some games, a lot of show fandoms and such.

more under the cut!

otp(s)/shipname? oi vey...i am BALLS deep in jeongcheol land 😔 however, i do love wonchan and i am an avid enjoyer of verkwan. i just like people having fun i guess...if they kiss that's their business and idgaf !! (and you shouldn't either 💘)

favorite color? contrary to the color i've chosen for this tag game, i am a purple fiend. i love purple and i've loved purple since i was 5 years old. borahae, putas.

favorite game? video game wise, stardew valley! everything else...idk, i like jenga. i like...uno. monopoly. i fuck bitches up at monopoly.

song stuck in your head? million years ago by adele, my i by svt junhao, pink pony club by chappell roan

weirdest habit/trait? uhhh i'm not sure! probably that i make a lot of weird little noises for no reason

hobbies? writing, singing, dancing, drawing, makeup, cooking, baking, sewing...i just like making stuff LOL

if you work, what is your profession? i currently work at a pharmacy! but i am also a med student :)

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? a novelist, or a songwriter.

something you're good at? making people laugh

something you're bad at? driving 💀

something you love? music. my faith. my family, the homies. i also love shoes and fashion.

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff? southern barbecue. have done it before, will do it again!

something you hate? i am incapable of hatred (people who refuse to change after issuing bullshit apologies.)

something you collect? photocards but not currently. i also like collecting jewelry and blankets!

something you forget? nothing. i have a very good memory, which is both a blessing and a curse.

what is your love language? i like to recieve & give gifts. however, i am also very fond of quality time and often indulge in parallel play with my friends. physical touch and i are not very good friends but if i am dating someone, it is very important to me.

favorite movie/show? so many! law & order svu, 2 broke girls, bob's burgers. as for movies, i love it, brave, mulan...the list goes on. i love films.

favorite food? anything my mom makes. i am a very finicky eater and i rarely eat at other people's homes.

favorite animal? cows!

are you musical? yes! i come from a very musical father, he loves to sing and dance and i am the same, however it is a very big part of my personality and i love to involve other people in singing with me and such.

what were you like as a child? i wanted to be cool :( i wanted people to like me! but aside from that, i was a very loud kid with introverted interests. i read a lot of books, i used to do speed reading competitions, and i struggled with a lot of things outside of the realm that i am willing to talk about. however, i was also a very anxious child who wanted to be liked and did everything she could to make that happen. as i grew older, i was bullied a bit but there is a lot of dynamics that play into that that i don't really want to get into. but, i wish little me knew she'd grow up to be pretty cool, anyway.

favorite subject at school? art and biology!

least favorite subject? math. i have dyscalculia.

what's your best character trait? funny, honest, confident.

what's your worst character trait? talks too much, anxious, selfish is 50/50.

if you could change any detail of your day right now, what would it be? nothing! i'm about to go to bed! :)

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? my grandparents.

rec your fave fanfics (spread the love!): i will never shut up about favorite coworker by @sescoups (I'M SORRY JOSIE I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!) other fics i love and never stop reading over and over: - fake it til you make it by my angel tara @diamonddaze01 - orbit & perspective by my beloved tomogotchi @tomodachiii - hi (i love you) by my sweetest rania @wheeboo - rivers & roads by my dearest @miniseokminnies

tag others to complete (no pressure!): @wonuwoe @heechwe @be-my-sunrise @hanniesbrat @c-oupsie @wooahaeproductions @wqnwoos @bitchlessdino & whoever else wants to do it! say i tagged u <3

#hgz.txt #just talking!

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silkenwinger · 3 hours ago

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Soap's been having fun lately. Lots of gym, swimming. Eating his heart out. He misses the action, but his condition has finally improved enough that he can at least enjoy life's simplicities. He greets the old people in his complex, takes on small jobs to keep busy while he mostly lives off the pension until he finds something more meaty to get his hands on. He doesn't have a dryer back home, and he hates hanging clothes, so every Friday he gets to the laundromat, pays for his washing and sits there waiting for it to be done, sketchbook in hand. Every time he goes there, the same arrangement of people finds him: older ladies, some eternal bachelors, and the sweet younger thing that lives just upstairs from the laundry.

It's not his fault he tends to monopolise the attention, you hear him? Classmates would roll their eyes when teachers took him under their wing just because he was funny. Everyone there knows all of his business; his inside voice never really developed outside of life threatening situations. He announces he has an interview for some construction worksite ("they do interviews nowadays?") and that he's excited to have a full time job again. The pensioners wish him good luck. You, instead, invite him for a drink together back at your house.

You're lovely, really. Pretty, funny, the whole package. But, um. He's still not fully recovered from the incident. He's afraid he won't be able to perform at his best. He also thinks you deserve to be with someone a little less scarred, someone who can share a general life path with you. Not someone whose dream is already over. Not someone like him.

But he still has pride. A male part of him simply doesn't think he has any right to refuse your invitation. And it doesn't necessarily mean that you want him that way to begin with, he shakes his head. You have a generous nature, he can tell. Maybe you're a bit lonely in this big city and just need someone to talk to.

The two of you have a lovely dinner together, actually. You cooked the lamb meat tenderly, just as he likes it without even knowing it. He's just about to tell you that he's had a great time, but that he should really go back home, because the interview is tomorrow and he has to wake up early...

He starts feeling weird. Lead in his legs, his head throbbing where he was shot, blood pooling behind his eyes. He sees you get up from the chair before his vision goes dark.

He wakes up some time later, his head full of cotton. His back is on a soft surface and his limbs immobilized, still caged even as he shakes, full force not recovered yet. Hearing him struggle, you slither in the room, immediately coming to his bedside. Even as he yells and convulses, desperately trying to set himself free, you don't speak, just try to pet his hair through the shakes. He decides to shut up for a moment then, still not totally sure of what's going on, if this is a joke. You speak then.

"Oh Johnny," you sigh, looking at him with so much pity he's only getting more confused, your hand still in his hair, "you didn't think I would let you be in danger again, right?"

#for the collection. why is only ghost allowed to keep soap as a pet? It's My Turn Now!#also if you like this concept. i recommend phantom thread. or misery but it's not as romantic lol #i just think reader should be allowed to be crazy too sometimes #soap x reader #cod #call of duty #cod x reader #johnny soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish #john mactavish x reader

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nabi-unveiled · 23 hours ago

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Catching Up: Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Ep 3)

Ep 1 React Ep 2 React

So fun facts....I haven't found a place to buy garlic ice cream locally, but there are A LOT of recipes for garlic ice cream on the internet. I do own an ice cream machine. We make homemade ice cream a lot in the summer. I sense an experiment coming up soon.

Anyways, onto episode 3. I am not doing a live reaction for this one. I had to wait over two hours for an oil change and decided to go ahead and watch episode 3. Controlling my facial expressions has never been harder. Although maybe I didn't need to try. Half of the people I know think that I'm a robot anyways. LOL. Anyways, I FELT like I was making a lot of facial expressions because...well just look at them!

There are no more qualms about sharing saliva. I love it btw that Dohoe keeps showing up with his chapstick. These kinds of small details are what make characters seem like real people. I'm known as the person who always have sunglasses (safety glasses really) on my head. No, I don't need them for work. It's just a habit. I'm also LOVING the color-coding. I haven't dove into the posts about this show, but I guarantee there was talk about them being color-coded.

THIS is what I want from a date sequence in a show people. THIS RIGHT HERE. GIVE ME MORE. I said in one of the BL Challenge posts that I frequently fast forward through the dating montages. Because typically they DON'T add any narrative or even show your characters really deepening their feelings. I want dates that FEEL like dates. This was it, and there was ice cream too! I should've just stopped the episode right here.

But alas, I didn't. And somehow, I'll still have to get work done today.

We got confirmation that Sunshine got expelled for fighting.

We got confirmation that Dohoe REALLY hates violence.

On the surface, this line SEEMS sweet. It IS sweet. But it's a bittersweet. Because what Dohoe is admitting is that he loves Sunshine enough to compromise his morals. And just like he didn't want to care to begin with, he will be conflicted about it. It WILL be a problem for him down the line. Because even if you're willing to overlook something, it doesn't necessarily make you feel good about doing it.

And we know that promise will be broken. I knew he would get in trouble for violence before this episode ever started. The foreshadowing has been strong.

Just like the foreshadowing on this line is strong. As soon as they said it, I was like crap. We're not going to be together. Either one or both of them is going to get their plan screwed up royally. My biggest fear was that Dohoe would be the one left behind. Because Sunshine? As much as he SAYS he doesn't have options, he really does. His family may have "abandoned" him, but they are still financially supporting him and calling him every day. Dohoe? Nada.

The watermelon is great here. I LOVE how much food is depicted in this show. This was a cute scene and reminded me that I need to finish my deep dive into soccer/football positions/rules before the next episode of FC Soldout. It also immediately made me think about the World Cup scene in Wild Chives and Soybean Soup.

It's a het drama that I don't recommend. Them as teenagers was great, but the rest was not. I guarantee it has aged poorly. However, I enjoyed that flash from the past. I looked it up. Apparently that drama was 10 years ago. Eesh. The feelings in both of these scenes were similar in that they are very young love and people just not sure how to handle it.

I love that they're training together and having secret meetings in the van. Everything about this feels SO much like what two teenagers in love would do. I squeed internally way too many times.

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but the amount of food in this series makes me SO happy. Real people eat. Real people making connections eat together. It's probably personal, but eating a meal with someone is a BIG deal to me. Many of my best memories with both friends and my children are over shared meals. Oddly enough - that doesn't include my husband. We don't enjoy the same foods and he eats super quickly. Fine, I'll revise. MOST people build connections by eating together, and these two DEFINITELY do.

Whoever chose RED for the phone understood the color assignment.

This guy has a problem. I'm assuming we'll learn more later about why this friendship went so badly south. Still...choices HAVE been made. Do-hoe is being a lot more civil than I feel he should; however, that seems in character for him.

It was at this point that I knew we were headed for trouble soon. Anytime the word "always" gets used, that's a red flag for me. Plus, look at HOW happy Do-hoe is at this moment. It shocked Sunshine, and you KNOW he was wanting to pursue that kiss further.

I'll be honest. I haven't figured out why we're seeing Sunshine in a school uniform just yet. The bike was when Do-hoe said he could succeed here. The other was in the scene where Sunshine was being beat, and it LOOKED like he was actually holding the Dad back. Was Daddy Dearest going to try to stop Do-hoe from taking the exam? Or am I reading too much into it. Either way, you can tell that Sunshine snapped.

Which led to our frenemies in the snow. Snow has definitely been a running parallel throughout the show. Typically, it's been hope, connection and even innocence. But it feels like the hope has been tainted through this scene. It also feels like this means we're getting a new beginning for these two frenemies. I can't be sure of that though.

My only question here was "WHO THE FUCK TOLD HIM?!?" Let the boy FINISH the exam before telling him anything. Whoever told him - you are on my hitlist.

We got new information that Sunshine was adopted. That's interesting. It could explain some things about why he so desperately wants his parents to be proud, but I don't have enough evidence. It's not uncommon for kids to want to please their parents after all.

This camerawork is SO good. Do-hoe has scared himself. He's seeing his reflection while his dad leaves the shot. It's him and his rage left behind. Plus, he doesn't like this reflection. This is NOT going to go well. Because THIS? This will scare him. He'll begin to think he could become his dad, and that's going to get all kinds of entangled with his feelings about Sunshine. It's real world feelings depicted well.

And now we have HISTORIC cold. And yes, it snowed. But everything is messed up.

And while I generally dislike time skips...

This one feels appropriate. This is when a time skip SHOULD be used. Based on where they were in life, the technology in that time period, and the situation that has occurred, this time skip makes sense. It'll be interesting to find out where they are now in life.

We know Sunshine is smiling. But sunshine characters often smile even when in pain (he's already done that frequently). We don't see Do-hoe. That feels purposeful. In some ways we knew sunshine would be okay. (I'm not saying emotionally okay.) It's Do-hoe, who didn't finish his exam, who had no other options, who is stuck. He's the unknown. Hopefully, he found a way out. But he's going to be scarred either way. I'm hoping now that we've had the time-skip that the rest is them overcoming the past and growing together as mature adults. We'll see.

AHHH. Why do we have to adult? Can't I just take a day off and binge-watch? This is infinitely more interesting than what I need to write this afternoon. Oh well. Bills must be paid.

#let free the curse of taekwondo #korean bl

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aaronymous9 · 1 day ago

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Various T4T Kaimon headcanons!

Warning: These are mostly SFW, but I will be talking about genital changes that come with T because I have been on T for 1 and a half years and I think that discussion should be normalized and non sexualized so those are the ways in which I will be talking about it, if that bothers you feel free to skip this one! Also I’ll be talking about body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria so. Heads up.

Damon has very supportive parents, who are just a little anxious about medical transition things. They do a lot of research and always make sure to check on Damon to see how he’s doing with everything, but sometimes they embarrass him a little.

Damon was set to go through puberty around 13, so by the time he realized he was trans ( he probably realized a bit earlier because you know this kid has a good vocabulary and understanding of the world, stuck his nose in books since he could read ) he had put together a powerpoint for his parents on why they should let him go on puberty blockers after he had come out to them, he was probably nine years old at this point. His parents did some more research and they let him.

In turn, Damon switched schools to a different district in between Elementary and Junior High to avoid any bullying, got bullied anyways because people just assumed he was a late bloomer cis guy because he was still really short and had a squeaky voice.

Also his parents got his name changed legally before he changed schools at Damon’s request, his name actually being one he asked his parents to pick out for him since they have such a close bond. His mom also made sure to change her passwords from his deadname to his legal name ( Damon insisted she didn’t have to but it just “didn’t feel right for her” )

Since Damon’s family was really broke, he couldn’t start T until he had made some money from debating, even though his parents insisted upon getting the money to pay for Damon’s hormone therapy because broke parent pride he still paid for it anyways. Additionally it also took until recently for his parents to agree to essentially retire early with the money Damon made.

Damon doesn’t plan on top surgery because of his puberty blockers and switching to T, he pretty much has zero breast tissue.

His voice changing was a hard transition with debating but eventually he started to win even more with his more confident voice. ( He has various feelings about it, Damon Maitsu has lots of thoughts about how his debate skills are praised in comparison to his cis girl counterparts but he pushes it down )

Damon is however very uncomfortable with his sexuality and views it as a waste of time so the only side effects of T that bothers him is his bottom growth, finds it to be a pain but knows it’s necessary for bottom surgery ( he just really wants to be able to pee standing up )

As for Kai, Kai had early onset puberty and didn’t really realize he was trans until he was 14. He’s very much a binary trans guy like Damon, but he just didn’t experience much social dysphoria until he started going through puberty and that made people treat him differently.

Kai’s parents weren’t so supportive when he came out and neither were most of his peers, part of the reason why most of his friends were girls was because guys thought he was weird or tried to flirt with him. The only thing his parents really let him do was go by Kai at school, cut his hair and wear boy clothes but they wouldn’t let him change his name legally or start T or anything.

Kai worked fast food to buy himself a binder instead of the ratty sports bras he was always wearing at work, which in combination with his voice would get him misgendered at work a lot. Spent a lot of his time doing voice training with free videos online.

Kai has very complicated feelings towards his parents and family despite their lack of support, he still loves them but it’s more of a distant respect than love anymore, especially in the present day.

Kai saved up all his money so he could get… maybe slightly illegal HRT, because his dysphoria in relation to his body is REAL BAD. He had to keep this a secret from his parents, but by the time his voice dropped and his fat redistributed and he was becoming an Influencer, they probably figured it out but pretended not to notice.

Kai presents himself as cis online, and one of his biggest fears is being outed online simply because he knows the hate would get SO MUCH WORSE. So everyone in the cast thinks he’s cis. He gets pretty nervous sharing a room with Damon at first.

Kai switches to legal HRT the moment he turns 18, the doctor knows he was on illegal T and scolds him for it but doesn’t report him and gives him his prescription. He also gets on a top surgery waitlist at this time but of course, he is in the killing game before that can happen.

Damon also never clocks Kai and also gets nervous, both of them insist on changing in the bathroom. Damon never really had any friends, besides cis guys who debated trying to buddy up with him ( all of which he ignored because it was a waste of his time ) and Kai only was ever friends with girls and he just has a general distrust of cis guys.

Tozu supplements everyone’s medication, so they eventually find out when Damon finds Kai’s T in a cupboard in the bathroom. Damon never brings it up but feels more comfortable around Kai, so he subtly doesn’t hide his own T as much so Kai finds out and is more excited than Damon and just comes out to Damon casually. Damon pretends he didn’t already know.

Kai is only comfortable offering to share the bed at this point, as normally he would wrap himself in 1000 blankets when leaving the bathroom after taking off his binder because he was worried Damon would clock him.

Part of their bond forming is at least on Kai’s end, because he knows they’re both trans. Damon doesn’t really care. Damon knows nothing about trans community and has never bothered to join GSAs or his local PFLAG because he thinks it would distract him or ruin his image as a debater. Damon knows way more about lgbtq history than Kai though, just because he read a lot about it before coming out to his parents.

Kai also casually brings up the idea that he knows Damon likes men at some point and is surprised when Damon seems more offended by this than when Kai casually brought up the fact he knew Damon was trans. ( As I said, Damon is uncomfortable with his sexuality, he is well aware he likes dudes, but has not bothered to interrogate whether he likes girls or not. He keeps it all bottled up though because he views attraction as a distraction to his talent. )

Kai is also not very open about being Bisexual, he refuses to talk about his sexuality online, especially after people started insinuating they thought he was gay because he didn’t want to deal with homophobia AND biphobia.

Also side note: Kai had to do injections with his DIY HRT because it’s all he could get his hands on, until he switched to gel when he got on it legally. Damon on the other hand has always done injections but does it bi-weekly because he dreads it. Not because he’s afraid of needles but because it takes him out of his routine.

#aaronymous ramblings #p:eg #project eden's garden #damon maitsu #kai monteago #kaimon #pjeg #project edens garden #this is mostly projection btw if you couldnt tell #i projected onto both of them

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bm571158 · 3 days ago

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Free Now LN4 (Part 37)

The weeks that followed were a painful realisation for Lando that she really wasn't coming back. The first couple of weeks, maybe even the first month, there had been at least part of him that was sure she was coming back, that she was going to change her mind and reappear on his doorstep and things would go back to the way that they had been. Every time someone knocked on his door, or he saw someone who looked vaguely like her in the street, his heart would skip a beat, his stomach twist with excitement and then there would be the disappointment when he realised it wasn't Lottie and she wasn't coming back.

He had tried repeatedly to trick Flo into telling him where Lottie was, thinking maybe he'd just show up there and he could fix it all, but Flo had refused to tell him. If Lottie wanted to see him then she'd call him had been Flo's argument, and while it might be true it wasn't what Lando wanted to hear. It also hadn't stopped him from asking every time he spoke to his sister.

"Lando." Flo gave an exasperated sigh. "I've told you a million times, I'm not going to tell you where she is."

"Just... is she okay?" He asked again. It was the same question that he asked Flo every single time. Every time she assured him that Lottie was doing okay, it was hard to believe it without seeing it for himself.

"I haven't seen her for a few weeks." Flo told him. "But she sounds like she's making really good progress."

"What does that mean?" He asked, it wasn't the same repeated of course she's fine stop asking that he usually got.

Flo was quiet, and for a moment he thought that his sister had hung up on him, but then she spoke again. "She's been in an inpatient physio sports rehab kind place for a couple of weeks. She finally got the funding approved. She's having a real good go at getting herself back to normal, thinks she might even get back to riding if she carries on."

"Wow is that... should she be doing that?" Lando asked. "I didn't think that was even an option."

"Neither did I, I don't think Lottie did either... but the physios there seem to think it might be. We'll see." Flo answered. "I'm going to go up there to visit her next week, it'll be interesting to see how she's doing I guess."

"Where is this place?" Lando asked.

"It's... oh, no... I see what you did there. Still not going to tell you." Flo laughed. "You nearly got me there."

"Worth a try." Lando shrugged.

"Aren't you supposed to be going away for summer break anyway?" Flo pointed out.

"Yeah, but..." he'd cancel all his plans in a heartbeat if he thought he could go and see Lottie, they both knew it.

"No." Flo reminded him. "Go and do whatever it is you're supposed to be doing. I can't remember where mum said you were going, but just... go do your thing and leave her to do hers."

"But-" he protested.

"But nothing." Flo told him firmly.

"I miss her, Flo." He sighed. "Can you just... can you tell her I miss her?"

"You've got to stop doing this Lando." Flo sighed. "Just go and spend some time with your friends, enjoy the fact it's been a really good start to the season."

****

It was a week later that Flo made the drive to go and visit Lottie. She was curious to see how she was getting on, they'd kept in touch by phone fairly frequently and she had to admit it was the most upbeat and positive she'd heard Lottie sound since the accident had happened. She sounded almost like her normal self again,

"Hey! Look at you!" Flo grinned, wrapping Lottie in a hug as she walked over to greet her. "You look amazing!"

It wasn't an over statement either, not like when they'd been desperately trying to convince her to keep going and that every little step was an improvement, this time she genuinely did look amazing.

"Hey, Flo." Lottie smiled, hugging her back tightly. "Thanks for coming, I've missed you."

"Not as much as I've missed you. Are you sure you don't wanna come back and live with me again? The place seems so empty without you."

"Ah you don't mean that, you were probably sick of me after all that time." Lottie joked. "Shall we go outside and go for a walk or something?" She pointed to the door behind them.

"Sounds good." Flo nodded, still watching in amazement as Lottie walked in front of her, only the slightest trace of a limp now as an indication of what she'd endured.

"Lottie this is honestly amazing." Flo squealed in excitement. "Look at you!"

"I'm getting there." Lottie agreed. "It's been really, really hard work but yeah... I'm getting there."

"So, what's next?" Flo asked. "What's the plan?"

"I've got a couple more weeks left on the programme here... then I guess I see how I am and go from there?" Lottie told her. "I could probably use a bit of a rest to be honest. They're working me pretty hard in here. I don't think I've ever spent so much time in the gym in my life."

"Well, whatever they're doing, it's clearly working." Flo pointed out. "This, this is amazing..."

"I honestly can't believe it." Lottie agreed. "I was about ready to just give up, though I was going to be stuck like that for the rest of my life. And now... I don't know, now it feels like maybe everything will be okay?"

"I'm so proud of you." Flo grinned, pausing mid step to wrap her in another hug.

The two of them walked in silence for a moment, Lottie plucking up the courage to ask the question that Flo knew was coming.

"How's.... How's Lando doing?" Lottie asked.

"He's away with his friends, it's summer break." Flo told her. "He's doing okay, I think. He's been better when I spoke to him."

"He's been doing well, on the track." Lottie agreed quietly.

"You've been watching?" Flo asked, although she wasn't exactly surprised.

"Of course." Lottie nodded. "He's going to do it, isn't he?" She asked, referring to the championship, Lando extending his lead significantly in the run up to the summer break.

"I mean he threatens to kill me every time I mention it." Flo laughed. "No one's allowed to talk about it, but yeah... I think he actually might this year."

"He deserves it." Lottie said softly.

"He's calls me, at least once a week to check in on you." Flo told her hesitantly.

"I've thought about texting him to say good luck a million times." Lottie admitted. "But I just..."

"You just what?" Flo asked.

"It's not fair on him." Lottie said quietly. "He was nothing but good to me, none of it was his fault I just... I can't."

"Lottie." Flo sighed.

"Don't." Lottie shook her head, she knew from Flo's tone of voice what she was about to say. "You never wanted the two of us anywhere near each other. You told me about a thousand times to stay away from him, you should be happy."

"I'd be happy if I thought that it was actually what either of you wanted." Flo reasoned. "I know what I said, and at the time I meant it but now... you might not want to admit it, I'm not even sure I want to admit it, but you two are meant to be together. I'm sure of it."

"No, we aren't." Lottie shook her head. "You just said he's fine. He's doing great without me, he doesn't need to be worrying about me and all my baggage."

"Yeah, he's doing fine as in he's not stressing mum out that he's about to have a nervous breakdown every five minutes. It doesn't mean he doesn't need you." Flo sighed. "None of us have ever seen him like he was when the two of you were together, Lottie. He loves you."

"I know he does." Lottie said quietly. "It was never about that. I'm just... I'm not what he needs. It's too complicated."

"Life's complicated, Lottie." Flo pointed out.

"Can we just leave it?" Lottie asked. "He's fine, I'm fine... we're both doing okay for once, let's not ruin it now."

"Alright." Flo agreed reluctantly.

****

"I'm going to tell you something, and you can do with it what you will..." Flo said slowly, still trying to decide if she was actually going to do it or not. She wasn't sure she wanted to be getting herself in the middle of any of this, but they weren't leaving her an awful lot of choice.

"Why are you being so cryptic?" Lando asked. "What's going on?"

"Lottie got home yesterday." Flo told him. "I'm... I don't know if this is the best idea, but I'm texting you her address. It's up to you what you want to do with it."

"You're... wait, what?" Lando spluttered. "You told me that she didn't want to see me."

"She doesn't." Flo agreed. "Well, she says she doesn't anyway, but I don't know... I cant promise that she won't just slam the door in your face and possibly never speak to me again."

"Then why are you doing this?" He asked curiously.

"Because, as much as I didn't want you two getting involved in the first place, you were really good together and I don't know... maybe I've watched too many rom coms." Flo joked. "Just... don't get your hopes up, okay?"

"Do you think I should go?" Lando asked quietly. He wanted nothing more than to see Lottie again, but the fear of rejection quickly settled over him. If he had to hear her tell him for a second time that she didn't want to be with him then he thought that it might just finish him off. At the minute he still had the delusional belief that she might change her mind and come back at least.

"I really don't know, Lando."

"Well... there's only one way to find out I guess." He mumbled. "Thanks, Flo."

He had to be back in Woking in a couple of days time anyway, having to head back to MTC to get back to work, the second half of the season now looming in the not too distant future. So he changed his flight to get him there a bit earlier, hiring a car and entering the address that Flo had given him into the satnav, his stomach churning with nerves as he wound his way down the narrow country lanes on the approach to the address.

He pulled up outside the cottage, heart pounding in his chest as he tried to work up the courage to get out of the car and go and knock on the door.

The noise of his shoes crunching across the gravel of the driveway seemed too loud, his heart in his mouth as he approached the door, raising his hand to knock hesitantly.

The doubts that had been plaguing him the whole drive there resurfaced as his knuckles tapped on the wood. Was she going to slam the door in his face? Tell him to leave her alone? Was he going to end up driving back to Woking missing that he'd never made this stop off in the first place, that he'd just left himself wondering.

There was no answer though when he knocked the first time, and he found himself raising his hand again, knocking more insistently this time. How many times did he knock before he accepted that she was probably in there and she just didn't want to answer the door to him?

He knocked again, waiting another couple of minutes and there was still no answer. His heart sank and his stomach twisted as he turned around to go back to the car. He never should've come here in the first place, the not knowing was better than this.

As he reached the car, opening the door to climb in a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

"You came all the way here and you're going to leave without saying hello?" Lottie asked.

He spun around to the front door in confusion, but it was still closed. Then he whipped around as he realised he could hear her footsteps on the gravel as she walked up her driveway from the road.

"Wait..." his brain suddenly clicked into gear. "That was you I drove past earlier? You're running?" He asked in utter disbelief. He'd struggled to overtake someone running down the narrow lane on the way there but he hadn't even given her a second look, it never occurred to him that it might be her.

"I am." She smiled, walking the rest of the way up the driveway towards him. "Slowly, but it's still running."

"Lottie... this is... this is amazing." He choked out, watching her as she walked towards him. Flo had told him how much better she was doing, but it was something else entirely to see her with his own eyes.

"Don't cry." She joked. "It's not that exciting."

"It is." He grinned. "It's... it's amazing."

"Do you want to come in?" She asked quietly as she approached the front door, pulling her keys out of her pocket.

"Did Flo tell you I was coming?" He asked, curious as to why she didn't look at all phased by his sudden unannounced appearance.

"She may have called and confessed that she'd given you my address." Lottie told him, holding the door open as she followed her inside. She kicked her shoes off, dropping her keys on the side. "I wasn't sure if you were actually going to go through with it and show up though."

"I wasn't sure you'd want to see me." He mumbled. "I was a bit worried I get here and you'd just shut the door in my face."

"Well, you're here now." She smiled. "It's... it's good to see you."

Her eyes searched his face as he stood in front of her, taking in every last detail. The dark circles under his eyes, that seemingly permanent frown line that had been etched on to his forehead was gone. He looked lighter, happier.

"I can't believe how much better you look." He repeated in disbelief as he followed her through to the kitchen.

"Would you like a drink?" She asked, putting the kettle on. It felt bizarre having him stood there in her kitchen, within arms reach, and she didn't quite know what she was supposed to say or do.

"Sure, thanks." He nodded, burying his hands in his pockets to stop himself fidgeting awkwardly. He kept reaching out to touch her automatically and then stopping himself, it was force of habit and one that he needed to break.

She made them a coffee each in relative silence, and he just watched on at how easily she moved around the kitchen, only the occasional slightly uneven step here and there to ever suggest that anything had happened to begin with.

"So..." She said awkwardly. "I don't think you came all the way here just to see if I could walk yet?"

"I uh... I don't really know why I came here." He admitted. "I guess I just wanted to see you, make sure you're okay. I miss you."

"Lando..." she sighed. "Don't, please."

"Don't what?" He asked, taking a step closer to her.

"You know what I mean." She told him. "Just... don't."

"I miss you, Lottie." He repeated. "It's not the same without you."

"You look like you're doing pretty well to me." She told him.

"You've been watching?" He asked curiously.

"Every race." She nodded, although she wasn't entirely sure if that was something she should be confessing to. "I told you that you could do it."

"It's not done yet." He pointed out. "It's a long way from done."

"You can do it. I know you can." She smiled.

"I miss having you there to cheer me on." He whispered. It wasn't nearly enough to convey quite how much he missed her, because he missed her in everything he did, not just her company on a race weekend, but it was the best he could do it out it in to words. He just hoped that she would understand what he was trying to say.

"You don't need me there, Lando." She shook her head. "Look at you, you're doing amazing."

"It's not that I need you there, I want you to be there." He whispered, taking another step towards her. "I meant what I said, Lottie. I love you."

"Lando, I'm literally just starting to get back on my feet and figure things out." She sighed. "I'm not... I know you think that this is what you want, but I'm all over the place. It's not that simple."

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy." He pointed out, putting his coffee cup down on the kitchen counter and taking a bigger, more purposeful step towards her this time. "It might not be easy, but it would be worth it. I love you, Lottie."

"Lando." She mumbled, her hand landing on his chest as he approached in an attempt to keep some distance between them. Everything she'd been thinking in her head that she would say if he showed up seemed to have vanished. Her resolve was crumbling now that he was actually standing there in front of her. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and let him hold her.

"Why are you still trying to fight it?" He asked softly. "Why are you putting so much effort in to trying to convince yourself that we shouldn't be together?"

"I'm not... I'm... I'm trying to be sensible." She told him. "One of us needs to be sensible."

"Do we?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"This isn't going to work, Lando." She shook her head. "I can't be the person you need me to be."

"The only person I need you to be, is you." He took another half step towards her, and this time she didn't push him away, a look of indecision crossing her face as she looked back at him. "I miss you, Lottie."

#f1 fanfic #f1 fic #formula 1 #formula one #lando norris #romance #angst with a happy ending #fanfic #angst #recovery

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