#ancient race come to destroy us all

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

1968 [Chapter 8: Demeter, Goddess Of The Harvest]

Series Summary: Aemond is embroiled in a fierce battle to secure the Democratic Party nomination and defeat his archnemesis, Richard Nixon, in the presidential election. You are his wife of two years and wholeheartedly indoctrinated into the Targaryen political dynasty. But you have an archnemesis of your own: Aemond’s chronically delinquent brother Aegon.

Series Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, character deaths, New Jersey, age-gap relationships, drinking, smoking, drugs, pregnancy and childbirth, kids with weird Greek names, historical topics including war and discrimination, math.

Word Count: 6.2k

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Is it a story worth telling? I think so. It’s better than nothing. It’s better than watching raindrops slither down the cracked concrete walls until the prison guards come back to bloody us again.

Today I’m sending John McCain taps in the shape of the tale of Io. John has a hard time tapping back—they’re doing something to his shoulders, they’re destroying him—but he likes to listen. He’s getting it a lot worse than I am; perhaps even the North Vietnamese fear Aemond’s retribution if I die here. They should be afraid of him. He thinks he owns everything he touches, and he’ll snap bones to keep it.

So anyway, Io was a king’s daughter, a mortal who Zeus saw and wanted and took when her father kicked her out to avoid the god’s wrath. That’s easily half of Greek mythology, right? Zeus appears, irrevocably fucks up someone’s life, vanishes in a plume of clouds and thunder. He leaves human rubble behind him: ribs, nerves, disembodied hearts that leak blood from torn ventricles, minds broken in two. Zeus impregnated Io and then turned her into a cow to hide her from his wife Hera, ever-watchful, ever-vengeful, an aspiring mass murderess. When this disguise failed, Hera condemned Io to wander ceaselessly through the wilderness, tormented by the constant stinging of a gadfly. Eventually, Zeus returns Io to human form and she pops out a few bastard kids, as if Zeus needs any more of those. Then he ditches her and she marries some Egyptian dude. There are other details that I’ve forgotten. I don’t think John McCain will know the difference.

I’m sure you’re wondering how I acquired all this fabled trivia. I don’t seem like the type to lie around under trees reading folklore from religions that died thousands of years ago. You’re right, I’m not. But Aemond is. He would tell the stories, and Helaena would embroider scenes on quilts for us to burrow under in the winter, and I would dramatically act out the best parts (mostly murders), and Aegon would scribble comics in jagged black pen strokes. He has all these notebooks down in the basement filled with his new versions of ancient myths: Poseidon as a horny dolphin, Aphrodite as Marilyn Monroe.

Wait, I remember what I skipped. While Io was roaming across the globe, she bumped into Prometheus—chained to a rock for giving humans the gift of fire—and he cheered her up somehow. I guess meeting a guy who gets his liver continuously chewed out by a giant eagle would make me more appreciative of my circumstances too.

I have a lot of time to myself here in solitary confinement. My social circle is microscopic. I tap to John through the wall, I have dinner dates with Tessarion the rat. And I think about my family. They’re fucked up, but I miss them. I miss going to Monmouth Park with Fosco to bet on horse races, I miss getting hammered with Aegon while he sings Johnny Cash or Beatles songs. I miss my mother and Helaena and Criston. I even miss Aemond’s wife, though I only met her a few times before I deployed. She’s sharp, she’s hilarious. She’s mean as hell to Aegon, and sometimes he deserves it.

At first I wondered why Aemond hasn’t gotten me out yet, but I understand now. It sounds a lot better to have a brother being tortured as a prisoner of war than one who received a Get Out Of Jail Free card. It’s the kind of thing Aemond would consider. He understands which stories are worth telling.

I feel kind of bad for her. Aemond’s wife, I mean.

I don’t think she knows about Alys.

~~~~~~~~~~

On a chilly mid-September morning cloaked in fog, Mimi is laid to rest in the Targaryen family mausoleum at Saint George Greek Orthodox Cemetery in Asbury Park, New Jersey. Most of the golden plaques already have names chiseled into them: Viserys and Alicent, Fosco and Helaena. Aegon will one day be interred beside his wife. You have a spot reserved next to Aemond. All of you have already lived and died and been entombed; all of this was predestined by the stars eons before you had blood or bones.

Ari’s vault—an unnaturally tiny drawer, less than half the size of anyone else’s—is located just above yours. You can’t stop staring at it. You can’t hear anything the bearded priest in his black robes is chanting. Then Cosmo squeezes your hand and you look down at him. Mimi’s other children are somber but seem to be coping well enough—they are used to being raised by consensus, they would probably be more affected if one of the nannies died—but Cosmo always wants to be near you. He gazes up with those vast, wet, murky blue eyes, so much like Aegon’s, and you offer him a sad, reassuring smile. Cosmo smiles back. And you think: Life goes on.

Alicent is sniffling noisily; it echoes off the walls of the mausoleum. Criston—a man with no plaque assigned to him—is trying to console her. Aegon is watching you from across the cold granite chamber, grim and red-eyed in his black suit, the first time you can remember seeing him in one since your wedding. He wears no small gold hoops, only a row of stitches in his right ear. He wants to say something, to do something, but he can’t. Aemond is beside you, a hand heavy on your waist but muttering something to Otto. Back in Omaha, Otto had spent a few hours alone with the medical examiner, and when the death certificate was issued it revealed that Mimi died of a heart defect, a perfectly blameless sort of misfortune, an innate impending disaster. And so that’s what the newspapers printed, and any gossip to the contrary is confined to salacious rumors, untrustworthy and unproven.

When the ceremony is over, journalists are waiting to scavenge for photos and quotes under the guise of expressing their sympathies. It’s a shameless display, though they at least have the decency to wait by the cemetery gates. Aemond and Otto go to meet them. Alicent, Criston, Helaena, and Fosco, protective of the children, keep them far away from the feeding frenzy, hungry-eyed reporters like sharks without fins. Ludwika is reapplying her lipstick. Aegon is smoking a Lucky Strike and talking to his oldest son, Orion, a stilted exchange that holds the promise of turning warm with time.

You sit on a stone bench and Cosmo curls up beside you, rests his head in your lap, dozes off as you thread your fingers through his wavy blonde hair. In the mist there are shadows of gravestones and trees that turn skeletal as they shed their leaves.

“He is okay?” Fosco says as he ambles over, meaning Cosmo. He has his hands in the pockets of his slim black trousers that stop at his ankles. His suit is velvet, his eyeglasses speckled with drizzle from the slate-grey sky.

“He’s alright. He’s resting. Are you okay?”

“Oh,” Fosco sighs mournfully. “I keep thinking someone is missing. We came into this family together, Mimi and I. We got married six months apart. I have never had to do this without her. And I know she had her problems, but she was different when she was younger. She always liked a party, that’s why she and Aegon got along so well at first. But she was so loud and so funny, always telling these long stories, and everyone in the room would be grinning as they waited for the good part. Viserys loved her. Otto loved her. And then she had all those children one after the other, and that was hard, and Aegon self-destructed when he was the mayor of Trenton, and that was worse, and she was supposed to fix him and she couldn’t, the harder she tried the farther he ran from her. She started drinking her Gimlets before dinner, and then after lunch, and by the time you showed up it was never ending. But that wasn’t who she really was. She was like a moon that got smaller and smaller until the only thing left was a sliver.”

This family breaks people. This family kills people. “We’ll make ossi dei morti for Mimi tonight. I’ll help you, and we can teach the kids.”

Fosco smiles, swipes a tear from beneath his glasses, squeezes your shoulder with one wiry hand. “I am very glad you are still here.”

“I’m not trying to race you to that mausoleum.”

Fosco laughs. And then he says as he spies Aegon approaching: “Um…I will go avoid the paparazzi somewhere else.”

“You don’t have to leave, Fosco.”

“It is no trouble. And I suspect you enjoy your very rare privacy.” Fosco gives you a knowing glace and then heads back to where Helaena, Alicent, and Criston are lingering with the rest of the children. Now Ludwika is fluffing her blonde curls with her French tips, a smoldering Camel cigarette tucked between two fingers.

Aegon comes to you through the mist, plops onto the bench, and looks fondly down at Cosmo—now fast asleep, his face smooth and peaceful—before he speaks. “I can’t grasp that she’s really gone. We barely spoke for years, but she was always there, you know? Christ, she deserved better than this. She could have been happy somewhere else.”

“Your children need you.” It’s not the first time you’ve said it, but it’s the first time he believes you. He nods, staring out into the fog. “They have to get away from this whole circus for a while. And you have to learn how to be a real parent.”

“I’ll have time to work on it. I’m staying here. I’ve already been informed.”

You are alarmed. “What? By who?”

“Aemond and Otto.” Aegon says. “When the rest of you fly west, my kids and I will be at Asteria.”

“They’re getting you off the campaign trail,” you realize.

“They’re putting me on house arrest.”

Not seeing Aegon, not being near him? How long can I stand that? “I’m sure you’re relieved. You hate the grandstanding and the media.”

He shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I won’t be alone. I have Fosco and Ludwika.”

“I’ll talk to them.”

“About what?”

“About the fact that they need to look out for you.”

“Aegon, I’ve been doing the political wife thing for over two years.”

“But it’s different now.”

He’s right, it is.

“You’ll call, won’t you?” he asks. “You’ll let me know how the trip is going, you’ll tell me if anything bad happens? Because I can always get on a plane and meet you wherever you are. Otto might pay someone to murder me, but I’d risk it.”

“Of course I’ll call.”

“Hey.” Gently, he turns your face so you can’t hide from him. “Will you be okay without me?”

I have to be. I don’t have a choice. Instead you reply: “I’ll miss the weed.”

The tension breaks and Aegon smiles, and then he pats your cheek twice with his open palm. “Behave yourself.” He waves Ludwika over, interrupting her meditative chain smoking.

“What, what?” Ludwika says. “Are we leaving soon? Yes, it is so sad what happened to Mimi, but us standing around in the rain won’t resurrect her. And I look terrible in black.”

“I can’t be there for the last leg of the campaign.” Aegon points to you. “I need you to pay attention and check in with her at least a few times a day.”

“This is a common request. I should get a degree in it so I can charge people.”

Aegon furrows his brow at her. “What are you talking about?”

Ludwika smirks as she puffs on her Camel. “You are not the first person to ask me to keep an eye on her.” She nods subtly towards Aemond, then sashays off to give a quote to the journalists.

~~~~~~~~~~

In San Diego, Aemond meets with residents of a new public housing complex to hear their concerns about neighborhood jobs and infrastructure. In San Jose, he visits labor activist Caesar Chavez—being treated for debilitating back pain at O’Connor Hospital—and expresses support for the ongoing boycott of all grapes produced in the state. In Sacramento, he attends a Jimi Hendrix concert and receives a standing ovation from the audience; the next day he joins high school students protesting for a more inclusive curriculum. In Oregon, he makes a speech at Portland State University acknowledging the tremendous cost of the Vietnam War—in money, in time, in blood—and pledges to begin dismantling U.S. involvement as soon as he is sworn into office in January. Aemond talks about hope and despair, the bleak reality and the American Dream, and he is so overwhelmed by the crowd that he doesn’t even notice when someone takes his cufflinks as souvenirs. His lack of concern for his own safety exasperates Criston, but Aemond can’t be convinced to increase his security or his distance. If he expects the disaffected masses to carry him to the White House, he has to be real to them.

“What if another Wallace supporter tries to shoot you?” Criston demands. “What if a Nixon stooge stabs you or a crowd tramples you?”

“No one can kill me,” Aemond says, grinning wryly. “I’m not supposed to die yet. I’m supposed to be the president. It is God’s will.” And how can anybody disagree when that appears to be so true?

The earth dies as you drive north, summer withering into autumn. That familiar brisk cuttingness reappears in the air. You shake thousands of hands, smile for countless photographs. Mothers and wives of dead soldiers sob into your shoulder as you embrace them; teenage girls ask how they can get a good man like Aemond. Only one thing is missing from his glorious pilgrimage: something he wants desperately, something he cannot have (though he’ll never know why), you conceiving his child in time to announce it before Election Day. Each morning you sneak a pill and every night you bite the bullet. As often as you can, you duck into Dairy Queens to order lemon-lime Mr. Mistys.

George Wallace is in the South, galvanizing segregationists and accepting the endorsement of the Ku Klux Klan. Richard Nixon is working his way across the Midwest. He has chosen a politically moderate Greek as a running mate, Spiro Agnew; this does not strike you as a coincidence. He even shares a name with Aegon’s second son.

Nixon promises “peace with honor” in Vietnam, which means no immediate end to the draft. He makes speeches about “states’ rights” and “law and order,” ambiguous euphemisms designed to attract Wallace’s white supremacists without alienating too many suburban moderates. He commiserates with those lamenting the proliferation of sex, drugs, and divorce. He says he will return the nation to a more moral time. You wonder what he means. You can’t think of any such refuge in the bloodletting, spine-crushing history of mankind.

A kindergarten teacher tells you in Olympia, Washington, her eyes alight with reverence usually reserved for heroes, saints, gods: “People are voting for Aemond, but they’re voting for you too.”

And you find yourself thinking as a thousand miles roll by beyond the glass of limousine windows: How many people will I condemn if I don’t help Aemond win? How many lives is mine worth?

~~~~~~~~~~

The Hotel Sorrento in Seattle insists on giving you and Aemond the honeymoon suite: a retreat from the breakneck campaign, a romantic oasis for the future president and first lady…according to half the country, anyway. You are in the impractically large pink bathtub, surrounded by snowy dunes of bubbles. The wall to your right is a mirror, foggy around the edges; just a few yards to your left is the king-sized bed. In the top drawer of your nightstand is the card Aegon gave you in July. You aren’t sure where Aemond is, and you don’t especially care. You are relieved to be alone.

There’s a passion-red phone built into the rim of the tub, conveniently located for sudden room service revelations, champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries, steak and lobster. You have a different idea. It’s 7:15 p.m. here, so after 10 on the East Coast. On the steam-slick keypad, you dial the number for the main house at Asteria.

Eudoxia picks up and demands gruffly: “Geiá sou? Ti?”

“Hi, Doxie. Is Aegon around?”

“Where else would he be? Making himself useful somehow? Killing communists, driving a rocket to the moon? No. He is a burden as always.”

“Please be nice to him. His wife just died.”

“And so he cannot put his empty cups in the sink?” Without waiting for a reply, she sets the handset down on the kitchen counter with a clunk. There is distant, muffled shouting in Greek; she seems to back and forth with somebody. Then Eudoxia returns. “Antio sas,” she says, and hangs up just as a phone elsewhere in the house is lifted from its cradle.

Aegon answers with something halfway between a groan and a yawn. “Yeah?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Hey!” You can hear it riding the wire like electricity: a rustling as he sits up, a fresh clarity in his skull. His voice is deep, hushed, still husky with sleep. “What’s up, little Io? Any interesting happenings to report from your neighborhood of the solar system?”

“I just left a riveting tea party. Apple cinnamon scones and smoked salmon sandwiches. We talked about what kind of couches I should get for the White House and I wanted to kill myself. Are the kids okay?”

He’s smiling; you can tell. “They’re alright. I could have used you this afternoon. I was trying to help Spiro with his math homework. Trying, not succeeding.”

“Well he’s in middle school and thus beyond your skill.”

“How’s Jupiter?”

You know who he means. “I don’t want to talk about Aemond.”

“Okay.” Aegon says, curious. “So what should we talk about?”

A few seconds tick by, silent and perilous. “Where are you right now?”

“In my lair. Like a beast.”

“Alone?”

A transitory pause. “At the moment.”

“On the shag carpet or your futon?”

Now he’s very intrigued. “Futon. Why?”

“I just want a visual.” Beneath the water, your free hand is resting on the velvety inside of your thigh.

“Where are you?” Aegon asks.

“You wouldn’t believe it.”

“Maybe I want a visual too.”

You chuckle, peeking over at yourself in the mirror. Your skin is dewy with steam; stray wisps of hair stick to your face. “I’m in a gigantic pink bathtub. It’s ridiculous, it’s shaped like a heart and everything. They have a phone installed right here in case I find myself in desperate need of filet mignon.”

“Oh.” And then he hesitates, like he’s afraid to say the wrong thing. “Big enough for two?”

“More like five. You should get a tub like this for your basement, it would delight the campaign staffers.”

“My basement’s been pretty empty recently.”

Softly, vulnerably, glass offered for him to shatter: “You aren’t seeing other girls?”

“Nah, babe. I want something they can’t give me.”

You picture him, messy hair falling over his forehead, drowsy eyes that gleam with clandestine wisdom. You can smell the smoke and rum that bleeds from his skin. “I wish you were here.”

“In Seattle?”

“No. Right here.”

Aegon exhales shakily, swallows, takes a few seconds to collect himself. “How’s the water?”

“Extremely hot and full of bubbles.”

“So I wouldn’t be able to see you.”

“No,” you say, baiting him.

“But I could touch you.”

“You already have.”

“Not enough,” he murmurs. “Nowhere close to enough.”

“Do you remember what I felt like?”

“Oh God,” he whispers, and you envision him closing his eyes, rubbing his face with the open palm of his left hand. “Yeah. Of course I do. I can’t get it out of my head. But I’ve been trying not to…you know…it felt wrong to think about you that way unless you were cool with it. Like I was betraying your trust or taking advantage of you or something.”

“No, I want you to think about me.”

You can hear Aegon moving around on the green futon, repositioning himself, yanking down a zipper. When he speaks again, his breathing is quick and jagged. “Where’s your other hand, huh?”

“Under the water,” you reply coyly.

“You bitch,” he says, laughing. “I miss you so fucking much. The house isn’t right without you in it. You belong here, you belong where I am.”

Beneath the veil of bubbles and steam, there is no scar on your belly, no infidelity, no campaign, no distance of almost 3,000 miles separating you and Aegon. Your fingers slip between your legs, finding slickness the water can’t wash away. It’s a familiar sensation, though you haven’t felt it in a while: rising steadily until you hit a plateau like a jet reaching cruising altitude. From here, it will either glide along smoothly until it dies out, or eventually turn sharp and painful. “Tell me about you,” you pant.

He can hear it in your voice, a needful surrender that sets him on fire. He can’t believe this is happening; he never wants it to end. “I mean, I’m…I’m insanely hard.”

“Stroke yourself, imagine it’s me. I wish it could be me.”

“Oh fuck,” Aegon whimpers. “Okay, okay…I want you. I want you with my fingers, I want you with my tongue, I want you to beg for it, and then…”

Impossibly, incomparably, your own pleasure is climbing faster than you can reconcile yourself to it, no longer a hunger but a violent aching, a crushing gravity you can’t fight against, a ship being dragged to the floor of the ocean. What’s happening? When will it end? You moan into the phone, amazed yet petrified. You can’t get enough air; it feels like drowning, like dying.

“I need to see you,” Aegon says. He’s close to the climax that you know men experience, he has to be; he’s gasping. “I need to be with you, let me give you what you want.”

“I want you to finish inside me.”

“Io…babe…oh my God, you’re gonna kill me…”

There are sounds out in the front room of the suite: a lock clicking, footsteps, keys and a wallet tossed onto the kitchenette counter. You’re so consumed you almost don’t notice. Aemond is back. Aemond is back!! And every ion of your ascending euphoria evaporates. “Gotta go, bye.”

“Wait—!”

You hang up just as Aemond is opening the bedroom door. He walks in—immaculately tailored dark blue suit, polished black leather shoes trampling soft pink carpet—and turns to you. He has already taken his glass eye out and put on his eyepatch. Vaguely, fleetingly, you wonder where he’s been. His gaze darts to the red phone, your fingerprints in the condensation. “Who were you talking to?”

“My parents.”

If Aemond doubts this, he doesn’t show it. He crosses the room, sits on the edge of the bathtub, peers down at you with an omniscient metallic glint in his eye. He’s always been less a man than a force of nature. “I know this year has been hell.”

You envision Persephone being stolen by Hades, Orpheus searching for his dead wife Eurydice, Charon ferrying souls across the River Styx. “You haven’t made it easier.”

There’s a flash of something in his scarred face, blazing and instantaneous like lightning, and then it fades. He reaches out to touch your hair, swept up and neatly bound with clips and pins. “We can’t forget everything we’ve accomplished together,” Aemond says. “I still need you. You’re my Aphrodite.”

He’s going to tell you to get out of the tub, to lie down on the bed, to open yourself so he can fill you. You distract him, forestalling the inevitable. Each morning Prometheus dreads the return of the eagle that pecks out his liver; as every summer ends Demeter mourns the loss of Persephone. “Any luck with Nixon?”

Aemond sighs, furious, brooding. “He still won’t agree to a debate. Wallace is onboard, he’s rabid for it, he’d show up if we held it in the fucking asteroid belt, any opportunity to spew his idiocy. But not Nixon.”

“Because he knows standing on the same stage as you can only hurt him. People thought he looked bad in 1960, can you imagine now? Television has gotten so much clearer. They’ll be able to count his sweat drops from their living room couches.”

“So how do I get him to do it?”

You look up at Aemond. It’s not a hypothetical question; he’s really asking for advice.

“I have to debate Nixon,” Aemond insists. “It’s close in the polls, which means it will be even closer on Election Day. I’ll underperform whatever is projected, my coalition is less likely to show up when it counts. College kids, hippies, transients. That’s just a fact. But the old people vote. The suburban housewives vote. Nixon’s resting on his political experience and accusations that I’m a communist, an agent of chaos. But I could slaughter him in an hour on ABC.”

You think of the mutilated Vietnam veterans waving their signs and screaming at LBJ from the other side of the wrought-iron gates of the White House. “Challenge him in public. Say that the American people deserve to see the candidates debate, and do it where everyone can hear you.”

“What if Nixon still refuses?”

“Then you call him a coward. You say he must have something to hide. You ask how he’s supposed to square up with the Russians and the Chinese if he can’t even face you.”

Aemond grins admiringly. “You’re vicious.” And he lifts your hand from the rim of the tub so he can kiss your knuckles. Once you licked up drops of his approval like Tantalus, cursed with eternal thirst. Now it is poison that turns your veins black.

“If there’s a debate, everyone should go,” you say, seized by sudden inspiration. “We should have a united front, including Aegon. It can be his return to the public eye. A month will have passed since the funeral, the timing is right. He can pose for a few photos with the kids to show the nation that they’re doing well and distract from any lingering rumors about Mimi.”

Aemond isn’t grinning anymore. He’s studying you with his cold blue gaze; no, he’s trying to intimidate you, to overpower you. “Otto and I will decide what to do with him.”

“He’s a Targaryen. He should be with the rest of us.”

Aemond stands and motions for you to follow, a snap of his wrist like a man calling a dog. “It’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

Panic, tension, an iron sinking in your belly. The water is only lukewarm now, but you don’t want to leave it. “I’m not done yet.”

“Yes you are.”

There’s nothing else to say. Legally, a wife’s flesh is one with her husband’s. You slip as you step out of the bathtub, and Aemond grabs your forearm. Not like he’s helping you; like you’re something he owns.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two knocks, swift and forceful. “Hey, it’s me. You ready? Everyone else is downstairs in the lobby waiting for the limos.”

You hurry to open the door, almost twisting your ankle as you stumble in your heels. They’re an inch higher than what you’re used to. Aemond chose them, and your dress too, and your sapphire teardrop earrings, and the silver chains around your wrist and throat, and your future and your past, and your life itself. It’s mid-October, and the night of what will almost certainly be the sole presidential debate of 1968. Aemond’s retinue is staying at the Hotel Saint Louis. It’s harvest time, the fields beyond the city being reaped of their soybeans, wheat, corn, cotton, and rice, the beef cattle culled in mechanical underworlds. Aegon’s flight must have just landed.

As soon as he sees you his eyes drop, wide and bewitched, ensnared everywhere except your face. You say: “Can you help me zip this, please?”

He blinks a few times, then shakes it off. “Sorry, what?”

“The zipper’s stuck. I need you to get it.”

“Yeah. Sure.” He steps into the suite and stands behind you. The gown is a vivid blue like the Greek flag, gorgeous and shimmering but a size too small. It wasn’t tight a week ago, but now it is, and you aren’t pregnant just always gaining and losing weight in new places, first the baby and then the pill, and it wouldn’t bother you if Aemond didn’t seem so confounded by it. Aegon says as he tugs at the zipper: “I don’t think it’s gonna fit, babe.”

“It has to fit.”

“Even if I miraculously get this closed, you won’t be able to breathe.”

“Do whatever you have to. Just…just…” You push every last molecule of air out of your lungs, suck in your belly, and you hear the triumphant squeal of the zipper. “Yes!” Oh, but Aegon was right: you really can’t breathe. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“You’re not gonna last the whole debate in that. You’ll be sweating more than Nixon.”

“I’m fine.”

“Io…”

“I’m fine. Come on.” You snatch your matching purse off the coffee table by the couch, check your makeup one last time, and hobble in your heels as you walk with Aegon out into the hallway.

At the Kiel Auditorium a few blocks away, the Targaryen children—Aegon’s five and Helaena’s three—are presented for photographs before being escorted back to the hotel by the nannies. And even in the few weeks that have passed since you last saw Aegon’s kids, there have been extraordinary changes. They talk to their father, and he talks back, and he ruffles their hair and rests his hands on their shoulders and asks them about what they’re learning from their private tutors. Cosmo tackles you before he leaves—a powerful bear hug, though he can only reach your legs—and he says he hopes you’re coming home to Asteria soon.

“Me too, kiddo,” Aegon tells him, and then smiles at you; but above his gleam of teeth his cloudy blue eyes, like the Atlantic in a storm, are gloomy and troubled.

As the audience takes their seats and the journalists are poised to capture the best images and quotes of the night, the three candidates and their wives (minus Wallace’s dear departed Lurleen) meet briefly backstage to exchange the perfunctory well-wishes. Pat Nixon is introverted and bookish, though she tries to hide it; but Aemond reels her in like swordfish until her eyes are filled with him. George Wallace gets one glimpse of your venomous glare and escapes, claiming to need one last trip to the restroom before the debate begins. But Richard Nixon beckons you to accompany him to a quiet, discrete corner of the room.

“I tried to call,” he says. He’s a remarkably normal man: medium height, receding dark hair, rough voice, weathered skin, not a god but a mortal, and—you have the impression—more aware of his flaws than his fiercest critics will ever be. “But no one at that damned beach house would ever put me through to you.”

You aren’t sure what he means. “Oh?”

“I never got the opportunity to tell you how sorry I was for your loss in July, Mrs. Targaryen,” Nixon says with unglamorous, plain, genuine compassion. “Pat and I, when we heard, we wept for you. We truly did. And for your husband to be clear across the country…I can’t even imagine. It must have been awful for you. A parent never gets over something like that. It stays with you like a scar.”

“It does,” you say softly.

“I lost two brothers. Arthur died when he was seven, tuberculosis killed Harold in his twenties. God, it just about destroyed my mother. You’re a remarkable woman. You’re lightning in a bottle for Aemond, do you know that? You’re like one of those Kennedy gals, but even better. More personable than Jackie. More intelligent than Ethel…although, to be frank, who wouldn’t be? And you’re not afflicted with any ghastly vices like Ted’s wife Joan. What would Aemond do without you? He’d lose, that’s what he’d do.”

Nixon’s smart, but he’s wounded. He’s capable, but he’s so desperate to prove it. Power could ruin a man like this. “You’re very kind, sir. You did some great work under Eisenhower. Self-made like my father was, a devotee of the American Dream. I believe you have an important role to play in this country…” You smirk, a bit mischievously. “Just not as the president.”

Nixon chortles. “No matter what happens tonight, rest assured that I hate Reagan more than I could ever dislike your husband,” he says, meaning the Republican governor of his home state of California. “You know that bastard tried to primary me?”

“Actors don’t belong in politics.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Nixon says, and then bids you farewell as the lights turn blinding and the curtain begins to rise.

As soon as the adrenaline begins to fade, all you can think about is that you can’t breathe. You take your seat in the audience between Aegon and Ludwika, who won’t stop making jabs about Nixon: “He looks like a troll,” “He looks like a sasquatch,” “Do you think Pat makes him wear a  Creature from the Black Lagoon mask in bed so she is not so repulsed by him?” The most you can offer is an occasional distracted nod in response.

“You alright?” Aegon whispers.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t look alright.”

“I’m great.”

“Sure,” he says, and he acts like he’s teasing, but there’s something tremendously sad underneath. He can’t save you from this. He can’t save you from anything. What must that feel like?

On the debate stage—broadcast to a national audience—Aemond performs brilliantly. Nixon salvages what could have been a bloodbath with a handful of clever retorts that Aemond pretends not to be rattled by. The real loser of the night is Wallace, who is brutally attacked by them both: Nixon because Wallace is commandeering some of his voting bloc, and Aemond because of his near-assassination back in May. After an hour, the contest concludes and the candidates descend to the main floor to pose for photos and get lassoed into brief interviews with various journalists. Everyone in Aemond’s entourage besides you and Aegon flock to his side. By now you’re gasping in shallow gulps, close to tears and in agony from your ribs to your wobbling feet.

“I told you,” Aegon says. And then: “Come on. We’ll take the first limo back.”

In the front room of your hotel suite—one yellowish end table lamp glowing dimly, the rest of the space like twilight—Aegon wrestles with the zipper as you struggle for every breath, trying not to pass out. “Ow,” you whine. “Oh fuck, this was so stupid…”

“Don’t let him make you wear shit you don’t want to wear.”

“I have to do what he says, Aegon.”

“He doesn’t own you.”

“Legally, he does.”

He’s tugging futilely at the jammed zipper. “Are you planning on using this again?”

“I believe that would be wistful thinking.”

“You probably look better out of it anyway.” He grabs his Zippo lighter from the pocket of his emerald green suit jacket and flicks it to life. “Don’t move, okay?”

“Okay.”

“At all.”

“Got it.”

You can feel heat, intense but not painful. Aegon has pulled the edge of the fabric as far away as he can from your skin and is singeing it until it turns black and charred and brittle. Then he tucks the lighter back into his pocket and with both hands rips your dress down to the small of your back. Cool air rushes to meet the ridge of your spine; goosebumps prickle all over. Aegon is marveling at you; you can see it when you glance over your shoulder at him. Then he lays a palm against your bare skin, leans into you, inhales everything you’ve ever been: smoke and sex and starlight, strategies, shadows, secrets.

The others will be pouring into the hallway from the elevator any minute. Aemond. Aemond could find us.

“We can’t,” you whisper, hating yourself for it.

Aegon kisses the nape of your neck—so slow, so kind—and then goes to the doorway. You wait for him to leave, but he doesn’t. He’s looking at you as you hold up the ruined gown so it covers your belly and your chest. You gaze back helplessly, wanting him, needing him, a moon chained to another world’s gravity.

We can’t, we can’t, we can’t.

“I’m so sorry,” you say.

And only then does Aegon vanish.

[fieldofdaisiies]

Whispers of the Forgotten | pt. 2

pairing: azriel x reader | type: angst | words: 2,6k words | masterlist

"And what now?" The general's voice is still tinged with the shock from the earlier happenings, his breathing ragged.

"The box won't open without…I don't know. Without what?" Cassian looks at Nesta and only wants to wrap her into his arms, keeping her safe. Nesta holds Ataraxia tightly in her hands, face displaying nothing but strength and determination, but when her eyes slide to the box, completely untouched and closed, on the table in front of her, in the middle of Rhysand's office, disappointment passes over her features. It makes the former determination disappear and her shoulders slouch. Nesta looks exhausted, even a little sad and Cassian just wants to hold her, tell her she did her best, that she did everything she could and it is enough. 

"We need magic. A greater force," Nesta breathes, gaze not wavering, trained on the little onyx box. Vassa, the clever fire bird, managed to steal the box Koschei always kept with him. They need to destroy it in order to destroy him, but right now it seems impossible — they can't do it. At least not with the tools at hand. 

Even Amren is clueless. What should they do? How should they go forward? 

Silence, palpable and heavy, falls upon the room and for a moment everyone seems clueless until—

Amren taps her fingers against her chin and then opens her mouth. "There is one person that I know that could be able to open this box." 

The temperature in the office cools at least five degrees, a chill coursing through it. Amren moves towards the desk, fingers tracing a line over the box, eyes squinted. "She has power beyond our knowledge." Amren inhales a deep breath. "And you, boys, put her in the Prison many years ago. Many centuries ago." She looks over her shoulder, dark hair shifting with the movement. "Azriel, Cassian."

A cold shiver cascades down Azriel's spine. A Prison inmate would be their solution? It can't be—

"We can't free a prison inmate," Cassian says, voice strong. 

"Of course not, we can also let Koschei destroy us." Amren's statement is gleeful, almost mocking of the general. Cassian only narrows his eyes at her, fighting the urge to flip her off. 

"I mean, how can we be sure she is loyal to us and not to…Koschei. Or that she doesn't try to murder us the first chance she gets?" Cassian looks a bit scared and Amren frowns at him. 

"Why should she be loyal to Koschei?" she asks in a bored voice. 

"If she is a creature that has to be kept in the Prison the connection for her to be loyal to the Death Lord or any kind of evil spirit is not too far fetched," Cassian says and lifts his arms in despair. 

Nesta takes a step back, moving closer to her mate, her heart still racing with the former actions. She was the one who tried to open the box, but failed. The power that held it close is just too strong. Alone the trial left its markings on her skin, on her body. She is shivering, goosebumps spreading all over her body. The ancient force having fought against her, fiercely. 

"Remember where I come from, boy," Amren snaps and throws Cassian a deadly look. "I've been in there once as well. And I know her. I know about her. And I know that she will help us and isn't loyal to Koschei."

Rhysand, formerly having been calm, silently observing the situation, now steps in, Nyx cradled to his chest. "Can we truly trust her, Amren?" His voice is deep and strong, bouncing of the walls of his office. 

They can't risk anything and freeing someone from the Prison can be deadly and cause more problems than they already have.

"We can." Her statement is steadfast, like nothing can shake her belief that the female in question can truly be their life saver. "She might be a little out of practice after being locked away for centuries, but I know she has the kind of power and magic to open this box. After all she was part of…them."

"Of who?" It is Gwyn who asks this question, her voice hushed, almost like whispering about a secret. 

Amren turns her head to the priestess, smirking. "Of the Wild Hunt. Not their leader, but the second-in-command." 

Silent gasps rumble through the room, and surprise flickers over Gwyn's young face. She has heard about the Wild Hunt, read about it, but she had no idea that someone who was apart of it was locked away in the prison. 

Shock takes root in Azriel's chest, rattling his very bones. He has to grab the backrest of the chair in front of him to keep from tumbling. There is only one female this description fits. A female he locked into the prison himself. A female who promised vendetta. A female he loved once. You. 

His throat works on a swallow, shadows nervously swirling around him. Azriel isn't the type to be scared of most things, but you? You are a different kind. A different breed. Something otherworldly. Something - a being - that indeed scares him. 

"We can use the Harp to enter the cell," Nesta suggests and earns herself a round of agreement and planning immediately starts. But Azriel is unfocused. He thoughts return to you. Always. His body feels weak and he is shaking on the inside. For centuries he has been thinking about you, and now…

"Azriel, you will get her." The shadowsinger wants to say no, but he can't. He has to do it. If someone frees you, it has to be him. So, he only bows his head in silent agreement and already moves towards the door. 

"I'll return with her," he says as a matter of good bye, his mind too distressed, his body still in shock, to answer anything else or to do anything else. 

───── ⋆⋅ ☽☾ ⋅⋆ ─────

The prison still looks the same. The same dark stone walls, the same mossy smell. The only thing that has changed is Azriel himself. He no longer is this young boy that would do anything the High Lord tells him, without the blink of an eye. He has grown now, and he knows that what he did to you back then, was wrong. The situation — you — should have been handled differently. But he can't take back his actions. But maybe, maybe there is a chance for him to explain it all to you. 

His steps hollow through the dimly lit halls, prison cells on either side of it.

He still remembers your cell. It is a memory imprinted on his mind, but one that has been locked away for hundreds of years. 

A cold shiver curls around his spine, just like his shadows curl around his body.

He had clamped down on the pain for so long, for centuries, but now that he is here again it all comes back and nearly breaks him. Now, he can't believe what he did. He can't believe he hurt you like this.

Why did he not try to fight? Why did he not choose another option.

Because there wasn't one. It was the only option to keep you safe. To protect you. And your safety was always his priority. Even if it meant locking you in here and ripping his own heart into shreds.

───── ⋆⋅ ☽☾ ⋅⋆ ─────

"Hush little baby, don't say a word, Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing, Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns to brass—"

Your voice catches in your throat, when your nostrils flare, taking in the new, uncommon scent. Someone is here. Someone that hasn’t been here in a long time. The scent is not fully unfamiliar, but you also don’t remember its owner. Until—

A nest of shadows is the first thing you see when the door to your cell opens. The black mist clears and reveals a male of ethereal beauty. A male you've come to loathe even more with every passing century.

"Shadowsinger." A vicious grin spreads over your face, showing your elongated canines. "We meet again."

Alongside the general of the Illyrian armies, the spymaster caught you and put you in this Cauldron-damned prison. It had been centuries ago. But you haven't forgotten. You never will. But why he returned is a mystery….

Before he can so much as blink, you lunge at him, chains clattering on the cold stone floor, covered in dirt and mould. You want to claw at his throat, at best rip it out. The fire of fury inside of you has burned for centuries, wasn't diminished once. And his presence alone added enough fuel to make your weak and broken body move. The sound of the chains reverberates through the dank, musty air, your long, elongated canines gleaming with a feral snarl. 

"I'm going to kill you." But you can't. Technically, you can't kill him while in here. Magic binds your power and you are restrained, also by magical chains, that keep you from moving too far or too close to him. But that doesn't stop you from trying. 

Hatred, raw and powerful, fuels you and makes you blind with the only thing on your mind being to end his life. He condemned you to this wretched, soul-crushing place. He never cared that you had no choice other than being part of the Wild Hunt. You didn't choose your fate. So, he had no right to do so either. 

"You think these chains can hold me, Azriel?" Your voice is a venomous hiss, each syllable dripping with disdain as you strain against the biting restraints, the cold metal spikes digging into your flesh. "I'll tear you limb from limb! I'll rip your throat out and watch you bleed out until the very last drop."

Azriel, his demeanour not giving away the whirlwind of emotions within him, stands in a stance, Truth-Teller clasped in his scarred hands. He seems composed and not afraid and that angers you even more. And so does his voice, cold, low, velvety. 

"I'm not here to fight you," he says, his voice steady despite the storm brewing inside the Prison cell and within both of you. "I am sorry for—"

"Stuff your apologies up your pretty ass!" With a guttural roar, you hurl yourself at him again, driven by an insatiable hunger to destroy him. Memories of the centuries that have passed, of degradation, and the pain you suffered reach the front of your mind and drive your anger forward. 

But the chains hold you back and Azriel swiftly side-steps you. It isn't even necessary. If he doesn't get any closer, there is no chance for you to reach him. 

You bare your teeth again, the thin, white nightgown clutching to your body like a second skin. You shiver, but not from the cold, rather from the rage blazing through your veins. "What do you want from me? Why did you come back? Why did you come back now?" you demand, but he leaves you without an answer. 

"I don't want to hurt you," Azriel repeats instead, a note of regret tinting his voice.

"Hurt me?" You sneer. "You've already destroyed me! You broke me and you left me broken. Bloody and cold. I lay in my own puke for days, bleeding, wounded."

A pang of hurt hits Azriel right in the heart. He only followed what Rhysand's father had told him to do. He had no other choice. Everything else would have meant your death. He couldn't have risked it. 

"I come here because I—because we need your help."

His eyes drop to your hands, scars also marring them. Your pointed nails are still sharp, but brittle, almost like you have been clawing at the stone walls. 

Memories flash in his mind of how you sunk them into his skin. How you scratched them over his skin. And how…simultaneously your lips met his, mouths dancing, tongues toying—

"You betrayed me," you seethe, "and now you want my help?"

Azriel's expression looks pained, torn. His eyes drop anew, to the chains binding your feet to the wall. Your hands, though, are free and you can't wait to sink your sharp nails into his neck. Your fangs as well. 

"Only over my dead body!" you scream, fury clouding your vision like black haze. 

Only for you to realise it is not fury that clouds your vision. He is using his shadows to do so. You can't see anymore and it makes you panic. And this panic makes you lose control. You forgot about your former target, the darkness so looming and scary it makes you scream. 

Chains clatter to the ground, but you are too caught in a stupor to move. To run. To attack. 

With a swift and calculated manoeuvre, Azriel is behind you and secures handcuffs around your wrists, binding you. Binding you…binding you…You are restrained again. 

"I'm sorry, but I have to do this." His voice is softer, but it hurts you. You don't want to hear it. Don't want to see this side of him. Because it isn't his true self. His true self hurt you. Broke you. Destroyed you. 

You hate him so much, it almost hurts. You can't allow the pain. You will never allow it. You only allow anger. 

Blind rage surges within you, a thunderstorm of emotions brewing. And then he does the most unforgivable thing. He knows about your past. Knows about your fear of the dark. And yet, darkness swallows you wholly — a blindfold tightens over your eyes. Helplessness makes the content of your stomach sour and burning tears dwell in your eyes. Rage simmers beneath your skin, but it is the pain of betrayal that nearly gains the upper hand. The sort of pain you have been pushing away for centuries. 

You scream anew. His name. Curses. Noises. 

"Forgive me," Azriel whispers from behind you. "Forgive me, please."

But you wouldn't even imagine doing so. Never. Only over your dead body. 

"You'll regret this." Your voice is not strong. It is hoarse and broken. "I will never forgive you."

Azriel moves swiftly. In his hand, he holds Nesta's harp, the key that allowed him to enter your cell.

"Forgive me," he says again and his hand lands on your hip. 

You resist, squirming against his grasp, frustration and anger lacing your voice. "Let me go!" you demand, a mix of desperation and in your voice. But he is stronger. 

Ignoring your protests, Azriel gathers you in his arms, scooping you up with ease that is beyond you, cradling your frame against his chest. He adjusts his hold, ensuring you're secure and you feel that something cold, and metal - you can't quite tell- is placed on your belly. The Harp, but this knowledge is unbeknownst to you. 

"Stop fighting," he growls. "I'm taking you away from this place."

"Only to lock me up somewhere else." Your tears wet the blindfold. 

You struggle again, but it is useless against his strength. Your voice turns into a seething growl when you feel cold air brush you. Azriel rises. You rise. He is flying. And he is taking your with him. 

With a powerful surge of his wings, he gets airborne, leaving the prison behind. When air and wind swirls around you, you continue to squirm and strain against his hold.

"I won't let you imprison me again!" you seethe, fear and anger loud in your voice. 

He stays calm. 

Gradually, your resistance lessens, your body relaxing slightly against Azriel's chest, tension and pain still coiling inside of you. But you are tired. Exhausted. You only want to sleep. And that for ages. 

As you fly farther from the prison, towards Velaris, Azriel's embrace remains steadfast, his eyes brushing over your body from time to time. His actions are the only reason for you to hate him so much. And it hurts him as well. 

"Forgive me," Azriel breathes into the chilly night air, but you don't hear him anymore. 

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[superectojazzmage]

X-Men works best, I feel, when writers understand on at least some level that it's really basically a cyberpunk/biopunk horror story that just happens to also be a superhero comic.

X-Men is the story of the world entering a new epoch where any random person on the street might randomly get superpowers - ranging everywhere from green hair to mind control - simply because they happened to win(?) a genetic lottery as part of a cosmic process programmed into humanity in ancient times by ineffable star gods. All around you are people who are ostensibly still people, but are also inhuman entities with alien powers who are gradually developing their own subculture that tells them they are the future dominant species destined to replace mankind. Many of them are just normal folks... but just as many see you the same way ancient homo sapiens saw neanderthals.

X-Men is the story of fear and hatred rising in the hearts of men in the face of that new epoch. Corrupt humans and mutants alike use bigotry and xenophobia to divide the two peoples, pushing them into a war not just for politics, but for evolution and the planet themselves. Mankind begins altering themselves and building machines of death to keep up with the mutants, in the process creating a third race of humanity; transhumans and robots, that in time come to be no different from the mutants, superpowered monsters of society's own making that see the humans as flatscan wastes of genes at best, oppressors to be destroyed at worst.

X-Men is the story of humanity fighting amidst themselves in their senseless darwinistic war while their world tumbles through a swirling universe of terrifying eldritch threats. Out in the stars and spiritual dimensions are alien empires once like us now advanced beyond comprehension, legions of magical wonders and nightmares in equal measure, lovecraftian machine hive minds that eat planets, demons that feast on our sin, cosmic entities that have as much in common with us as we do ants.

And above it all, X-Men is the story of how recognizing each other's humanity, of embracing love instead of hate, may be the only thing that ensures even a hope of survival in the face of the unimaginable, mind-breaking horror of a world entering a new era whether it's inhabitants like it or not... or perhaps, the only thing that decides whether or not we deserve to survive.

The best X-Men writers are the ones who recognize this. Chris Claremont, Johnathan Hickman, Grant Morrison, Kieron Gillen, etc.. The writers who recognize that there's something profoundly and utterly, existentially TERRIFYING about what the series really boils down to (a self-defeating war between mechanical and genetic evolution with normals caught in the middle that may be the extinction of all three races) and reflect that in the aesthetics and tone by emphasizing a cyberpunkish vibe.

Emphasizing that this is a world where people - willingly or not - alter their bodies like mechanics alter cars and any random person you see on the street might be a mutant or Sentinel or something that can kill you with a look, and that random person is probably hiding from something even worse that wants to kill them just for being born.

[catulhu333]

Khaine and Khorne being directly stated to be the same

While this is an often discussed theory, or that the two are at least closely connected, and many hints of it in lore/fluff, there are at least two instances in canon were this was directly stated. First one is very old, from the 1988 article "Witch Elves!" in White Dwarf #108: "The Kryrnaa are an ancient order, founded during the early dark days of the building of Naggarond. They had turned from the worship of Slaanesh soon after their exile from the Elven Kingdoms, and, still drawn by the allure of Chaos, took the murderous Khaine as their new Master. For many centuries the Krynaa were a secret order, their name heard only in the whisperings of dark passages, but their numbers slowly grew. And as the Krynaa increased in strength, there came the inevitable conflict with the Dru Perim. For Khaine is that aspect of the Blood God recognised by the Druchii, and the Blood God, known to other races as Khorne, is the sworn enemy of Slaanesh."

The second time, is much newer excerpt, from 2006's Liber Chaotica:

"Of Pleasure And Rage

Behold! For I speak to you from the Shadows - the Great Darkness, that gives meaning to all Light. At the heart of this Realm, shrouded and unclear, stands the Powers of Chaos, locked in each other's embrace, hated lovers and eternal companions.

These Four are like points upon a compass - none are close and some are opposite. War and Pleasure are two such opposites, facing each other across eternity, hating and warring, two ideals seperated by an impassable gulf of Belief and Purpose. For Khorne is discipline, hardness, suffering and rage, while Slaanesh is indulgence, beauty, ecstasy and lust. Their opposition is carved upon the knucklebones of fate and conflict can be their only recourse.

Yet how mightier is Khorne than his delight-filled sibling! Oldest of gods and greatest of warriors, Khorne's armies stretch from infinity to infinity to infinity and the Pleasure God may not rival Him. But this was not always so. For in the days when the Slaanesh, Last Born and Most Beautiful, strove for existence, His power waxed stronger than all other gods, be they seperate or together, and it seemed as though His spiteful triumph would destroy the Balance in the Warp.

But as is ever the case, Khorne was there to stem the flow of Delight. He saw the growth of His youngest sibling, and hated Him even before his birth. With His mighty arms, Khorne sought to crush the life from Slaanesh before He had even left His womb, but the war god had not counted on the passion of Slaanesh's creators, and the harder He squeezed the greater the pressure became to drive His arms apart.

The war god fought on. He sought to give all mortals time to bring an end to their corrupting decadence - the decadence that fed the nascent Power that was Slaanesh. But mortals are weak as gods are not, and though some used the time bought for them by Khorne to learn from their wicked ways, many others did not and sank ever deeper into indolence and debauchery.

Slaanesh's tempermental screams and self-tormenting nightmares echoed through the Aethyr, and insanity bloomed on every world. Terrible storms raged throughout Heaven and Hell, and rains of fire lashed across Khorne's back, but His grip ever stayed firm around His embryonic sibling. Freezing winds tore at His face and floods of poison crept up His legs, yet still the War God would not let go.

Then His brother came upon the scene. Decay stood there beside War.

"Give up," sighed Father Nurgle. "Give into what must be. It is the nature of things that morals decay and cultures must rot. Mortals cannot leave their destined path."

Khorne turned away from His brother and grasped His wrists all the tighter. Then a gust of coloured light brought there to the brothers the Changer of Ways, and Tzeentch gazed upon the War God with amusement and disdain.

"End this," he hissed. "For it must come to pass. Change is the constant that cannot be changed. We Three must be Four, so the Game has demanded. Be it now, be it later, our sibling must come."

But Khorne would have none of it. He rorared His fury until the universe shook, and the foundations of All That Is, All That Was, and All That Shall Be, threatened to crumble. His brothers left Him then, one with a sigh and one with a chuckle, for both knew that the ending was close.

Upon the Mortal Plane the wars had all ceased. All morals and laws had rotted away, and the change to conceit was almost done. The Three wavered as decadence took hold, and Slaanesh expanded beyond size and beyond measure. But Khorne, unable to see defeat, hung on to His charge though his arms were bent back and His body near-crushed. Then with a scream of release that ripped through the Warp, Slaanesh threw off His eldest brother and burst into being.

Such was the Event of Slaanesh's birth, the metal body that had contained Khorne's essence since He had slain Khaelis Ra, shattered into a thousand pieces that scattered across the dimensions. But though His soul had been freed from its silver prison, Khorne had not the strength to strike a counter blow against exultant Slaanesh, and so the Pleasure God was left to reap the souls of His mortal creators and set His Throne alongside those of His brothers. So it was that the Three became Four and the Eternal Pantheon was complete.

From whenever 'then' was, until wherever 'now' is, the gods have continued their unending dance, twirling each other through the minds and souls of mortals. First one leads and then another, each keeping step in this pavane of peril, a stately measure played out to the beating of human hearts.

None of these powers can ever truly win against its brothers, for, as the Great Conspirator did say, it is the nature of things that change is the only constant - and nowhere is this more true than within the shadow place that is Chaos.

Yet still the gods dance and their bellows of delight shake the universe.

from the 'Liber Maleficarum'. Restricted distribution 2405- I.C. by order of K. M. Eisel, Witch Hunter Captain"

(written down by Dreadnautilus on reddit, as the fragment was in handwriting in Liber Chaotica).

As seen in the fragment describes Khorne fighting and destroying K(h)aelis Ra (the Nightbringer), exactly like Khaine was described in lore from the same period (the short story, and in-universe Eldar myth "The Birth of Fear"). And being, or rather Khaine/Khorne's shell being shattered by Slaanesh.

Does it mean Khorne and Khaine are the same? Not necessarily. Even the fluff from Liber Chaotica implies they are no longer the same, being split by Slaanesh. It's also hard to tell if this fluff/lore is canon, especially seeing multiple elements from the White Dwarf #108 were directly retconned. Still, it does show there were instances were the two gods of war and blood were stated to be same.

combined artworks of Khaine by Jes Goodwin and Khorne by Ian Miller

[radiolore]

venture x childhoodfriends!reader

heeeyyy soooo.... I watched that one episode of mlp where twilight meets and reconciles with Moondancer and it inspired me to write this 😈😈

ALSO MY FUCKIN DRAFT OF THIS DIDNT SAVE SO I HAD TO START OVER RASGDHFJXKSN

also I haven't written a fanfiction since like.. middle school and for reference I've already graduated so I'm sorry if it's not that good 😭🙏

Sloan Cameron, also known as Venture. a now very well known archeologist, talon fighter, and the occasional overwatch agent. needless to say, their strength, wits, and discoveries has put them in the news and a few articles a good number of times.

right now, believe or not, they're not on some site looking for ancient relics of the past. or, in some way they could be. right now, they're at home looking through old photos of their childhood. they had recently moved after their previous apartment had been destroyed in an omnic attack.

for hours, they had been giggling to themselves, reminiscing old memories.

"awww, that was when I dressed up as a mummy for Halloween! I got called a nerd so many times.." they cringed briefly at the teasing they used to face. not like it was their fault that nobody else seemed to care about having a historically accurate costume! well... nobody except....

"wait.. who's that?" Sloan grabbed another photo, one of them in high school standing next to someone. they scratched their head as they tried to remember who this mystery person is.

"oh! that's y/n!" they finally remembered. their victorious smile faded as they started to remember you. "wow i... completely forgot about them.." they furrowed their brows.

they started to look for more photos of you. the more they saw, the more they remembered.

and the more they remembered about you, the more they remembered what they did to you and the pain they caused.

you and Sloan were best friends. from grade school until high school. the two of you met in grade school, both sharing a passion for dinosaurs, and you were inseparable since. you did everything together. you had a passion for art that matched the passion Sloan had for archeology.

Sloan remembered how you always said that you'd become an infamous artist, creating art for all to see and relate to or empathize with. they thought to themselves... well, if you were as passionate as they were, as they remembered, they were sure they could look you up and find countless of articles and online discussions about you. it would be easy to get in touch with you.

so Sloan pulled out their old cracked phone, and started to do some research on your name.

but... nothing. not so much as an online profile appeared. they blinked, confused. what happened? where were you?

their mind was filled with conflicting thoughts about why they couldn't find you online. they didn't doubt your ability to become successful, but maybe... you have an underground succession thing going on?

after not coming to a satisfying enough conclusion, Sloan shook their head. then they had an idea. even if you don't have an online appearance, you two used to be childhood best friends. it wouldn't be that hard to find you.

Sloan didn't know why, but they felt compelled and determined to find you.

actually, that's a lie. they do know why. they just don't want to think about it.

~

Sloan's nerves were through the roof right now. they started looking for you in their old hometown, and, surprisingly enough, you never left. so after some asking around, they found the apartment you supposedly lived in.

Sloan felt nervous as they stood at your door, feeling like an unwanted guest. well, they kinda are, but you'd be happy to see your old friend, right? who wouldn't be?

taking a deep breath in and puffing their chest out to feign confidence, they finally mustered up the courage to knock at your door.

after waiting dreadfully for a few seconds, the door slowly creaked open. Sloan's heart raced with anticipation for seeing your face again after so many years. and, from what they heard from the people who live here still, it seems nobody else has really seen you that often either.

eventually, the darkness inside your home filled with some light as Sloan was finally able to see your face. wow... you looked.. different. but still just as beautiful.

you styled your hair/hijab differently now, you were wearing more casual clothes (assumably resting at home), and.... you had bags under your eyes?

Sloan stood there awkwardly, watching your face go from confusion to shock. they lifted a hand and said, "hey..." while looking off to the side, unsure of how to greet you after so many years.

"uhm.. do you remember me? it's me, Sloan! we used to be friends? I just moved recently and I found some photos of us, and I thought of you so I wanted to-" they started rambling a bit, before they got interrupted.

"what are you doing here." Sloan's heart dropped as they heard the slight venom in your tone and they looked at your expression, only to find an emotionless, yet slightly bitter face. it wasn't the face they remembered... you used to be so sweet and caring, never letting a sour expression on your face. so why are you so different now?

"er- well.. I wanted to reconnect. I know we haven't talked in years, a-and I'm sorry for not reaching out before! but I got so focused on my work that i-" they were interrupted yet again as you scoffed, looking away.

"right. I know you were. I see you all the time on the news." you sighed. "look, it was real nice of you to stop by, but I'd rather be alone right now. goodbye." you shut the door.

Sloan stood there, shocked at your words and reaction.

meanwhile, on the other side of the door, your hands shook as you gripped the doorknob still. your heart ached as you just slammed the door in the face of your old friend, and... your old love.

way back when you two were still friends, as you grew up, you grew to like Sloan. like, really like them. they were everything to you. they meant everything to you. that is, until..

you shook the thought away, not wanting to remember. you let out a shaky sigh, trying to clam down from the flurry of emotions flowing through you right now. you held your head in your hands, overwhelmed. another knock at your door snapped you out of your thoughts. feeling anger build up again, you opened the door again, narrowing your exhausted eyes at your ex-friend.

"why are you still here? what do you want from me?" you spewed at them, feeling annoyed at the sight of them still at your door.

"listen, I know that we've- I've been gone for a long time, but I really want to reconnect with you. I want to be friends with you again." they pleaded, hoping you'll agree to their request.

your heart winced at the word "friends". you bit your lip, closed your eyes and sighed. "no thanks. I don't need anyone else, and I certainly don't need you." you closed the door again, this time with the intention of ignoring them if they tried knocking again.

Sloan stood there yet again, not knowing what to do. you were so... angry. and they knew why. and they knew they had to make it up to you. they did try knocking again, but after you didn't open the door again after the third knock, they left. they were still just as determined as ever to make it up to you.

you on the other hand, was determined as ever to push your feelings away and forget about them. you thought you had moved on, but seeing them again just brought up so many old memories, feelings, emotions, and heart break.

you sat on your couch, going through your phone. finally finding your and Sloan's old messages, you scrolled through the countless unread messages you had sent. tears welled up in your eyes as every emotion you felt then made themselves known again.

you remembered the heart ache you felt. the betrayal you felt. the sadness, the anxiety, the frustration, and the anger. you felt so.. distraught. you didn't know what to do with all these emotions.

after what happened, you became a shut-in. you closed yourself off from everyone else. you never left your hometown, never having enough money to do so and no goal in mind of where you would even move to if you wanted to. the sheer pain Sloan had caused you ruined you.

you had spent countless nights remembering them. so many nights wasted on laying in bed awake at 3am crying your eyes out over them. after a while, you convinced yourself that you moved on and that they weren't worth your time or emotions. nobody was worth your heart anymore. and you weren't going to mope around anymore hoping someone would change your mind. and you certaininly weren't going to let Sloan give you that hope.

~

Sloan felt defeated as they continued on their walk throughout their old town. every idea they had seemed like an idea that wouldn't work or go well.

almost considering giving up and going home, they paused as they saw a flier on a telephone pole. it was an advertisement for an art show coming up, which happens to be the next day. face lighting up, Sloan had an idea, it may be a dumb one, but most of the ideas they had were dumb, and those pretty much always worked out, so why wouldn't this one?

grabbing one of the fliers, they started to make their way back to your home, remembering your door had a mail slot in it.

~

you were sitting on your couch, sketching in your sketchbook to calm yourself down from earlier. even after what happened all those years ago, you still pursued art as a hobby.

your ears perked up as you heard something go through your mail slot in your door. curious, you got up to check what it was. you opened up the folded piece of paper, and saw it was an ad for an art show coming up tomorrow at the local museum. you felt a little excitement run through you at the thought of going to another art show. you enjoyed going to shows like this, seeing other artists' work. but that excitement was short lived as it was replaced with confusion.

"why am I getting mail at 8pm at night...?" you mumbled to yourself. opening the door, hoping to catch the culprit who gave you this ad, you looked around but found no one in sight. you just shrugged your shoulders and closed the door.

around the corner, Sloan was hiding behind a corner, silently celebrating that didn't seem to find out it was them who left it there and, fingers-crossed, were going to the art show the next day. their heart raced again that day as they prayed that you would show up.

~

sure enough, the next day came and you dressed up in some nice clothes and showed up to the art show. but, as you were arriving to the first steps to the museum, a familiar face stopped you dead in your tracks. Sloan.

"what are YOU doing here?" you asked, irritated.

Sloan took some steps towards you, "well, I know how passionate you are for art, so I thought I'd invite you here! we could walk through the exhibits and all the art together and catch up!" they excitedly explained, reaching their hand out for you to take.

they looked away for a second, finally being more honest, "look i- I know I hurt you. and I wanted to make it up to you. so please, let me try." they pleaded, looking back at you, flashing that famous smile at you that you loved.

your eyes wavered, considering taking their hand for a brief moment. but then you swallowed your feelings and pushed their hand away.

"and.. you think this is going to make up for everything?" you questioned.

"uhh, yes?" they said, full of hope.

"oh, so, you're gonna invite ME to this art show, when you couldn't even bother to show up to the last one?" you felt your emotions begin to rise up.

"what after this? you're going to leave? are you going to leave me again without even saying goodbye?" tears started to well up in your eyes.

"everyone was expecting me to be able to make a name for myself at that show, to finally start my successful career in art like I said I would! and i completely bombed it! I felt absolutely humiliated!!" your voice started to rise as you finally started venting all your feelings about what happened to them.

"I spent the whole event thinking about you: 'where's Sloan?', 'where are they?', 'maybe they're just late!', 'where's the person that i love?'!" your voice cracked.

"I felt like I didn't matter to you! it was the biggest opportunity of my life and I needed you there, and you! DIDN'T! SHOW! UP!" finally being overwhelmed by your emotions, you stormed off, tears rolling down your face as you ran off back home.

Sloan stood at the entrance of the museum, unaware of the people staring and just focused on your fleeing form. they were absolutely mortified. they knew they had hurt you.. but they didn't know it was this bad. or maybe they just didn't want to accept that it was this bad. they let a few stray tears go down their face before wiping them and coming after you.

~

you were at home, feeling as embarrassed and exhausted as ever. you felt empty too. tears were still coming down your face as you heard a soft knock at the door. you knew who it was. you briefly contemplated ignoring it, before getting up and opening the door, avoiding eye contact with the tall figure.

"y/n... can- can I come in?" Sloan stammered, unsure if you'd actually say yes.

you didn't even care at this point, you nodded and opened the door enough for them to come inside.

Sloan looked around your home, various art pieces and papers scattered around. they watched as you sat on your couch, following suit.

"hey.. about what-" they started before getting interrupted by none other than you once again. except this time it was much different than the last times.

"im sorry." you croaked out. Sloan had a confused expression on their face.

"i-im sorry for yelling and making a scene like that at the museum. I'm sorry for being so cold to you before when you were just trying to make amends." you genuinely felt guilty. you started to realize that, as much of a horrible friend they were for leaving you, you were just as bad for treating them that way.

Sloan shook their head, "no, I should be the one apologizing." they paused. "I abandoned you when you needed me. and... I never even said goodbye. I left. and we never spoke for over 10 years." Sloan started to feel their own guilt begin to rise up in them as they confessed.

"the reason I left... well, we were 16 and I had gotten accepted for an internship with the wayfinders society. but... it required me to leave to wherever they needed me, whether it's Cairo, Petra, Egypt, anywhere. it was the biggest opportunity of my life... and I knew that if I didn't accept it, I'd miss out on having my dream job." they smiled a bit as they remembered their early days as an archeologist. you started to look up at them, listening to their explanation.

Sloan frowned again, "but... the day they needed me to get on the plane and leave.. was the day of your art show. I had to choose. and... I'm sorry. I couldn't let this opportunity slip by me. so.. I got on the plane and left." their voice started to waver. "i.. I'm sorry I never even said goodbye. I wanted to but... I didn't know how. I knew it'd hurt you. and after you started texting me so much, asking me where I was and why I disappeared and left, I didn't know what to do. I was scared." there were now more tears coming down Sloan's face as they finally confessed how they felt about that whole situation. ever since it happened, they had never told a soul about what they did. they had too much guilt ridden inside them to ever tell that to anybody, especially you.

you reached over to hold their hand, hoping to comfort them, just like you used to.

"im... I'm sorry you had to make that decision. I know it must have been an incredibly difficult one. but you not showing up and leaving without a word really did hurt me a lot..." you swallowed nervously, preparing to say your next words.

"the truth is... the reason why it was so important to me for you to be there was because.. I was going to confess to you afterwards." you closed your eyes, not wanting to see what Sloan's reaction to that was. "i... I had a huge crush on you for so long, and-and i had planned for months how I was going to confess, and after I heard about the art show and applying, I had a whole plan to invite you and confess to you afterwards." your cheeks started to flush a little.

"so... when you didn't show up.. and you left... it completely broke me. I felt abandoned, I felt like you hated me and didn't care about me." your voice started to crack again as tears threatened to spill.

Sloan's own cheeks heated up a little at your confession. you.. liked them? suddenly little behaviors you exhibited way back when started to make sense in their head. seeing that you were about to start crying, they brought a hand up to your face and caressed your cheek with their thumb.

you jumped a little at the sudden feeling of their hand comforting you. it had been so long since you've felt a comforting touch like this, let alone from them. you naturally leaned into and actually begun crying again.

"y/n.. I had no idea you liked me that much.. I'm sorry for not realizing sooner." they paused to think... they knew they never really had feelings for you like that. but... that was over 10 years ago. both of you were completely different people.

"do you think maybe.. we could start over?" Sloan proposed. they still wanted to make things up to you. hurting you was the last thing they ever wanted to do.

you sniffled as you looked up at them through blurry vision and teary eyes.

"i.. I'd like that." you finally smiled. the smile that Sloan loved.

"great.." Sloan cleared their throat as they stuck out their other hand to you for a handshake. "Heya! I'm Sloan, also known as Venture, it's nice to meet you! that's your name?"

you giggled at their silliness, but after calming down, you gently took their hand and shook it. "hi, I'm y/n. it's nice to meet you too." the both of you sat in comfortable silence, smiling at each other.

neither of you knew what your own respective feelings were for the other.. you didn't know if you loved them still. and Sloan didn't know if they'd ever grow to love you the way that you did. but either way, neither of you will ever be abandoning each other. you're here for each other.

~

HOLY SHIT I FUCKING FINISHED IT JESUSSSSS

anywayz

I hope at least one of u gooners liked this even tho I yap a lot 🙏🙏

also not proofread cuz it's like 5am and I've been typing for hours and I'm not gonna read allat 😭🙏

anywayz

hope it was good enough considering I hadn't written for years lol

Bai Bai :3

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi FAQ

Before you send an ask consider checking this FAQ! I'm trying to compile some of the most common questions I see in my notes and inbox. Feel free to send me an ask anyway if you find anything confusing!

But first just some things about asks... I read all of them and feel kinda bad when I don't respond but I can't really respond to everything so:

Most likely will respond:

Requests for sources/images

Requests for links to other posts

Questions about the story or characters (as long as they haven't been repeated in a short while)

Questions about my opinion on canon content/speculation based on canon

Most likely won't respond: (usually cause idk what to say to it)

Headcanons/Shipping

Jokes

Discourse/Rants

Questions that have been repeated in a short time

FAQ under the cut (there's spoilers)

FAQ

First of all just a disclaimer that I don't actually know everything I try to put sources on the posts but if you see anything wrong here please let me know!

Q: Where is this extra/information from?

A: Dungeon Meshi has several worldbuilding details and extra comics in different publications. You can check this post with the places where the extras/information sources

If you wanna know the source for a specific extra don't be afraid to ask!

Q: Have you ever posted about [subject]

A: I haven't posted about everything related to dungeon meshi but please check my pinned post! I have a list of tags there, if you don't find specifically what you were looking try to search for it on my blog, I do my best to tag stuff so it can be found. If you still have trouble just send me an ask and I can link you the tag!

Q: How old is Thistle?

A: Who knows! Mostly likely he's under 80 (16 in tallmen years) my best guess is that he's 14.

Q: Is there a post Canon Melini Map?

A: Not really (Spoilers)

Q: Isn't Izutsumi a cat that was transformed into a human?

A: That's not a very accurate description, Izutsumi is a beastkin who was created using ancient magic by fusing the soul of a 6 year old child with the soul of a cat monster known as a greater cat. She's not "A cat that was turned into a human" nor a "human that was turned into a cat" as my understanding goes she was both and now she's still both, spoilers but the plot twist of the Lycion extra is that she can never be fully human again (there's more monster than human so she can't transform between the forms like Lycion)

I made a few posts about it

Q: Are fairies made of Jizz? How do females make them? How come Mithrun's doesn't look like him? Can other races make them?

A: Yes. They probably borrow some. Another person feeds it blood. Probably? For better answers please check the fairy tag LOL

Q: Are there monsters outside dungeons?

A: All points to yes, dungeons just seem to have a higher density of mana which allows more monsters to survive in a higher population.

Q: Is resurrection possibly in any dungeons or only in The Island?

A: According to the adventurer's bibles most man-made dungeons have the revival magic active. Here's a post all about resurrection and healing magic:

Q: Why did Fleki get brain damage when her Familiar got destroyed and Marcille didn't?

A: Probably has something to do with the complexity of the familiar and the strength of the connection, lots of people sent some theories pleas check the familiars tag if you wanna read up.

Q: What does the tattoos mean? What do Magic Tattoos do? Only beastmen have tattoos?

A: Those are Magic Tattoos, they work as a supplement for magic, I assume similar to magic circles or magic runes they use in other places in the anime, they aren't necessarily only for beastmen

Q: How does Mana/The Winged Lion/Dungeons work? (and related questions)

A: I made a post about dungeons you might wanna check, haven't done specific posts for the greater demon/winged lion but you can check the tags for some theories/other asks!

I think that's it for now? I'll add more things later if I see more common questions

Mini FAQ about the person running this blog (cause I get a couple of questions sometimes)

Q: Whats your pronouns? Are you brazilian? What do I call you?

A: There's a tiny about me section at the end of my pinned post I'd rather you use she/her or he/him, but they/them is fine, I'm very brazilian and you can call me whatever, Cyan is just a suggestion. You can also check this side blog, it's me

Q: What do you think about [headcanon]/[ship]

A: I probably think it's neat but cant elaborate cause either I'm being socially anxious or I'm afraid of saying something that will generate discourse on my notes LOL

Q: Could you tag [thing]

A: Yes! Please tell me if you'd like me to tag something, both cws or just something you think would be useful to search for. I'm very unaware of what can be upsetting ngl so I often forget to tag 'obvious' triggers, I'm also forgetful and have trouble expressing myself, so feel free to tell me if I said something weird but be nice pwease

[sleepanonymous]

REVELATIONS NEWS ❖ COMMENT ❖ HEAVY FUCKING METAL HOT NEW BAND

Sleep is not just for the weak, according to Vessel and co

STAY TOKE The gimmick may be goofy, but Sleep Token’s music is no laughing matter

“My favourite 90s album is Fantastic Planet by Failure. It’s devastatingly bleak in a way that resonates into our deepest self.” – VESSEL (VOCALS)

SOUNDS LIKE an intriguing and shadowy blend of atmospheric post-rock and tech FOR FANS OF Meshuggah, Bon Iver, Explosions in the Sky LISTEN TO Calcutta 

Over the years Metal Hammer has heard all manner of bizarre sonic coalitions and watched bands emerge from the deepest, weirdest corners of our scene, yet mysterious collective Sleep Token are up there among the most unique and ‘WTF?’ propositions so far. Not only is their music a fairly unclassifiable fusion of brutal tech-metal and atmospheric post-rock, but the band, driven by masked and cloaked frontman Vessel, claim to live in thrall to an ancient deity called Sleep. OK…

Much like Ghost’s Nameless Ghouls, the remaining members of Sleep Token have chosen to remain anonymous in order to retain their shadowy presence— only agreeing to answer our questions via email.

“They go hand in hand,” explains Vessel when we ask if the band’s sound and image are simply an exercise in gimmickry. “Sleep Token serves to add a visual dimension to our journey. A world without texture isn’t a world at all.” The story goes that Vessel first encountered Sleep in a dream where he was promised glory and magnificence in return for his worship. “He is the oldest God, a primal majesty that has endured the ages unperturbed by the morality of a flawed and chaotic human race,” says the frontman helpfully. “He is everyone. He is you. There’s a power in music that binds us all, every note relates to another. He showed me a vision of a world filled with depth and texture.”

OK, so their ‘backstory’ is silly. But as far as the music’s concerned, Sleep Token are an undeniably intriguing prospect, inhibiting a sparse world of heart-breaking beauty and intense heaviness where start, and sometimes sinister skeletal soundscapes build to throbbing climaxes with mesmerising effect. Recent single Calcutta, which premiered on Hammer’s website, builds like a storm: violent, djent-tinged destruction erupting amid Vessel’s ethereal and vulnerable Bon Iver-esque vocals.

“We sculpt, build and craft these sounds with an aim to deliver the emotional magnitude of His words,” says Vessel. “Destroy and rebuild over and over until what is left is what His followers shall hear. The influences come from the physical and emotionally charged world at large. Dreams are textural, so is music and much like life; they bring both darkness and life, beauty and ugliness— it’s our job to translate and convey those complexities as best we can. Each of these songs is an experience, but to find the real details you’ll have to explore them yourself. The music will ring out and people will continue to follow, for that’s what people do best. Follow. Stay with us and we’ll show you the whole world through His eyes. What a magnificent sight that is.”

“WE WORSHIP THE OLDEST GOD, A PRIMAL MAJESTY”

SLEEP TOKEN’S NEW EP, TWO, IS OUT NOW VIA BASICK

METALHAMMER.COM

(This is in my Google Drive also, here.)

[ms-scarletwings]

This Single Oversight Will Bring Irken-Kind to Its Knees

I have a little riddle for you.

What does an ant nest, a computer, and the ancient city of Troy have in common?

While you ponder the significance of this question and consider your answer, there’s a few things I want to analyze about the worldbuilding of Invader Zim.

We may have heard it said before, least I have (and agree), that the fate of the IZ universe appears to be a rather bleak picture.

Through our lens of focus, being upon Earth and an oh-so specific nutball waging his battle upon humanity, we often don’t do as much thinking about the larger cosmic war taking place meanwhile. Not between the Meekrob and Tenn, not between the Tallest and every dumb luck threat they are thrown against, but between the Irken Armada and all life in the entire universe, sentient or not.

Their intentions will not be made any more clear, between outright eradication or eventual enslavement of every lifeform they set their sights on. While they have alliances and neutral treaties, those agreements seem few and far between, as well as born from temporary conveniences. The cards have already been dealt, and all available evidence has indicated that every planet they are aware of is doomed from the moment The Massive was operational.

Though littered with inefficiencies and incompetency that could suggest an empire in internal decline, the development of the control brains and other centralized command crutches of the species suggests the Irkens can still keep a well oiled machine running, no matter how many mishaps happen along the way. At least, that machine and their plundered resources will definitely outlast the survival of their enemies, for sure.

To speak of their enemies, there has not been a single competitive race within the show that demonstrates any credible threat to Operation Impending Doom II- only those that can resist the conquest a little bit longer than others, or those who survive by appeasing Irk (or evading its detection). The fall of Vort, which stood as the homeworld of the only aliens with the technological ability to match the armada’s firepower is…. Really bad news. That’s to say the least of comparatively primitive, TINY planets like Earth or Blorch, standing zero chance in the way of what’s eventually coming. This is a war that has continued despite the death of two.. FOUR Almighty Tallests if you follow the movie’s events… and Irkens wholly are still thriving for it across the Galaxy.

So, given all of these facts, and the perception that the Irkens (like any invasive species or colonial force) don’t seem to be a society that will make responsible and/or sustainable use of their ill-gotten territory… it seems like this is how life across the universe ends in Invader Zim one day: Not with a bang, not with the whimper of heat death, but through screams muffled under the bloody boots of a dominant predator- a predator that is, itself, doomed to cannibalize its own once it hits the carrying capacity of all existence.

Bleak, concrete, and horrific as that may sound, there’s still a “however” here to consider!

Yep, that’s me about to point one of my big fat fingers to the sky and protest- Irk just might be,

Not so Undefeatable, after all!

And not only have I figured out exactly what sort of countermeasure you need to destroy these invaders, I have reason to suspect it’s a plan already long ago set into motion.

Let’s break it down,

An Irksome Achilles’ Heel

True, individually, the bug bastards are irritatingly tough to kill through conventional means. True, collectively, they are nigh impossible to outmatch. And more than most anything else, they owe this tenacity to two things: numbers, and R&D. Possessing some of most state of the art pinnacles in transportation, communications, and military equipment, the Armada found a knack for being able to steamroll most lesser planets before it.

The genius of the individual PAK unit grants each and any one Irken a theoretical path to partial immortality itself, by route of consciousness archiving. I strongly believe that kind of cybernetic progress was also one of the stepping stones that led to the creation of the Control Brains. Nonetheless, this very same strength of the Irkens’ has also proven to be the source of their greatest vulnerability.

Paks, Paks… Oh Paks. The entire race’s civilization revolves around such technology the way we do around our own brains, our own hearts, and our communicative network. For all intents and purposes, and as I’ve gone on about ad nauseum in my other spills about the show, a PAK is all and at once

• Synonymous with the holder of their soul, consciousness, being, whatever you want to call their personhood.

• Able to have their data repurposed by future generations, in the result of an Irken’s permanent death.

• A universal necessity shared by the entire population.

• Susceptible to alterations, sometimes by intelligent enough individuals (as demonstrated by the Zimvoid comic arc), but usually by a Control Brain, directly.

In addition to that last quality, there’s another way the code in a PAK can be changed, for better or worse- Via evolution. Though I am talking about digitized neurology, the actual data in a PAK is a lot more comparable to biological DNA or a “self-learning�� AI than it is a rigid computer program. By this, I mean that its code is subject to certain changes over time, perhaps both directed and completely random, particularly during the recycling of its information back into the Smeeteries.

And this is actually good design on the control brains’ part, the same way not reproducing Irkens as genetically identical clones was. Genetic and digital diversity are desirable goals to keep in mind if you want a healthy and versatile stock of workers, engineers, soldiers, and everything in between. We’re talking about highly sentient, highly intelligent, and emotional organisms here. A static drone mindset is going to offer them inadequate ability to adapt to their lengthy life experiences or be unique persons. How else would social mobility have purpose in their world? How else could the cream of the crop rise so far above their peers? That positive was deemed worthy of an obvious risk, however: computational errors.

When the Bugs Get Bugs

 IZ does not clearly lay out what it means for an Irken to be defective, but it gives us a general idea. Defectiveness is not something diagnosed from a code scan for this missing value or that incorrect variable. It’s not judged by one specific character trait or quality that’s abnormal for an Irken to display. “Defective” is a judgement stamp, wielded by the Control Brains when they gauge the total sum value of a life’s contribution to the species. And it’s not one given to Irkens which are merely incompetent, no. Anyone proven to be unfit for their standing is given generous opportunity for redemption or simply reassigned a more suitable occupation. If it were based on likability, we’d have seen Skoodge sent to Judgementia years ago.

Rather, it’s given to those who are viewed as so twisted that they are proven to be an existential danger to their brethren. Irkens that are so destructive to the essence of the collective that their memory must be purged from the record and their identity erased.

I adore the enthusiasm behind fans who want to view this as an analogy for disability or neurodivergence against a conformist society, but the metaphor I’m seeing is one of extreme antisocial behavior. A defective Irken screams less “adhd/autism” to me than they do serial murderers (of their own) or outright traitors. Pardon the use of a gross phrase, but it’d seem we were talking about an Irken equivalent of what the outdated gens would have dubbed the “criminally insane”. No one on screen has ever shown Skoodge or Tak the sort of concern that would get them sent to the Spike of Judgement, but when Zim was in that hot seat? NO one was doubting what his verdict would be.

^ courtesy of “The Trial’s” transcript

I think about the 40 shmillion mistakes a lot.

It’s such a vague quantity. But it sure sounds like a hell of a big one. And what mistakes… what did the lil squirt even have to compare them to? There’s no standard one person an Irken can be. Every presentation of the flaws in that code to the control brains hasn’t ended up a flaw to him.

I only started writing this because I really couldn’t stop thinking about the 40 shmillion. There’s no chronological room for bad self-modding to add up to that so quickly.  DNA replication, nature’s own sloppy and random process of creating new life, can be excused around 120,000 hiccups when duplicating with a 6 billion pair-long protein. But this kind of shuffling is under a futuristic AI’s precise eye. Yes, defects happen, but as bad as him? From birth??? How could you possibly get that many detrimental deviations from the mechanical fucking god-queen(s) of their entire homeworld?

And then it hit me.

You don’t. Not from Irk.

The hot take I’ve been charging for this entire time is thus.

Zim is not defective by any random accident. In fact, I smell the tampering of foreign sabotage.

Not only is this guy the thing his kind fears more than any else, they have every right to be shaking in their stance.

That puzzle i posed at the beginning of this journey, have you seen what I’ve seen yet?

Because the answer I was looking for as to what similarity connects an anthill, a PC, and a city from Greek legend was a most effective tactic for taking them down.

Do you know the best way to deal with a bad ant infestation? Cuz you can lay down all the raid and crushing action you want, but you won’t really be getting anywhere unless you target the pests directly at their queen. To that end, liquid ant baits are marvelous inventions- a sweet substance hiding a small amount of slow acting poison. Poison to be peacefully delivered by the stomach of an ant to the rest of her colony, poisoning her kin, who sicken more members, on and on until the queen is destroyed and the entire nest perishes. An insidious toxin to do all the work while its user never lifts a finger, pretty ingenious.

And when it comes to computers, we also have ways to attack entire networks at source, from quietly and far away. “Trojan” was a category of malware responsible for 64.31% of all cyber attacks on Windows systems in 2022, and they still make up a majority of active malware hits today. The concept is deviously simple. The malicious code is hidden within an innocent looking program, maybe even within a legitimate software that does what it’s supposed to. Once the stowaway is invited into the system, it can get down to it some sneaky, nasty, destructive work on your device. As for what those acts could look like, well, malware exists to do all kinds of things. Mostly something involving trying to get money/information from you or hijacking your computer for whatever its creator wants to use it for. And some of them will just up and wreck your shit, disable your antivirus software to open you up to more infections, disable important operations, wipe your data. Use your imagination.

And as for Troy.. well, where do you think Trojan programs got their name? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, Irkens have their Armada, bionic drones, and homeworld- in other words, the thriving swarm of army ants, the billions to trillions of computers they so rely on, and their nigh untouchable fortress, always at war.

And some damn crafty bastard(s) in the stars said

“Here is their sugar-bait,”

“Here is their cyber attack,”

“Here is their wooden horse.”

And one particular race is going to be getting the last laugh before long.

Nerds That Are GOATed With the Sauce

That’s right, I thought about this all the way through to finding our prime suspect. And let me tell you, NO ONE in the Galaxy reeked of fish like the Vortians did. Get over here and lemme show you my whiteboard with all the red circles and polaroids on it.

- The Means

In a way of tragic irony, Vort has contributed more than any else to the same Irken conquest that turned on them in the end. A natural talent for cutting edge engineering and technical development actually does not seem to be what Irk already came into the ring with. For how mighty and superior they view themselves, the greatest achievements of their military can actually be owed to Vortian outsourcing. When we would have gotten a look at Tallest Miyuki’s very own “finest minds” during her reign, notice something interesting about these guys below,

Zim there is the ONLY Irken to be found! Yes, transferred there because of the punchline explanation of ‘he breaks everything he touches so maybe he’ll have an affinity for weapons research’ but damn right he actually did! And still does; I don’t want it to go unsaid that Zim has shown MUCH more technological skill and innovation than near any other Irken we’ve seen.

Another fun thing to note about this is that Lard Nar was also part of this lineup, and in the transcript he was in the process of working on the blueprints for The Massive. (which leaves you with the cursed knowledge that Zim, Prisoner 777, and Lard were all familiar coworkers long before the events of the show) And that brings me back to what I’m saying about the real reason the Vort natives were enslaved and imprisoned instead of outright sweeped after conquering. The Armada needs their skills, because Vortian advancement is something their own scientists couldn’t come close to. Left to their own devices, Vort could have easily outmatched them at an earlier point in history. It’s a people that figured out infinite power sources and potentially wormhole technology, while PAKs were something a disfigured human tween with a lot of time on his hands was able to crack. If anyone could outpace and outsmart the defensive measures of the Control Brains, it’s going to be them. And what better, cleaner way to sabotage the enemy than from within. 

The very same strings of inserted code that cursed Zim with his delusions, paranoia, lust for destruction, and horrible tactics may also have blessed him with a determination and intellect higher than almost any creature alive. The saboteur gave Irk the most powerful racecar in history, and then fitted it with bicycle brakes. No matter how hard Zim tries to conform to what will give him admiration, no matter how competent he is at keeping himself alive, it’s as if he is instinctually compelled toward whatever actions will cause the MOST damage to his allies in the process. Dib may think he’s the bulwark against the invasion when, ironically, he’s fighting against the one being that’s predetermined to be the arrow that strikes Irken leadership right in their dumb, green heels. (There is also an instance in the comics where Dib figures out that Zim is the ace in the hole for total Irken eradication but that’s another fun story.)

Oh, oh HO HO, and that’s only what he’s capable of doing before the empire’s actual immune system against defects like him wakes up and notices!

Three planetary blackouts, two dead generals, and a whole swath of dead invaders was just the fucking warm up, babey! All that is merely the kind of loud disruption that you need in order to fulfil the real thing this Trojan horse exists for in the first place.

What a celebration of hubris the Spike of Judgement was. Yeah, let’s take our method of filtering the corrupted data from the hive mind, and completely centralize it on a single planet! As well, let’s have the very purging agents also be the same ones to perform the evaluations themselves, I’m sure that it would be unthinkable for any outsider to design a worm that could make it through the brains’ firewalls. Goddamn spectacular. Like inserting an infected USB into your laptop, the Tallest never realized what kind of beast they woke up by plugging that PAK into the Spike’s mainframes. Those brains were meant to handle an expected spectrum of deviation when it came to defective Irkens, never a sleeper virus of this complexity.

From here it probably won’t even matter if Zim survives much longer on Earth, his virus has already spread to the very thing relied upon to keep things like him out of the data pool in the first place. With the Judgementia brains corrupted and no higher authority to overrule them, the firewall is effectively broken, and you know what that means? Bigger cracks for future defectives to start trickling through, both spontaneous and artificial. The ideal scenario is one where a degenerating and glitched population accelerates the incompetency of the empire to the point where it just implodes on itself; nevertheless, even a disease that only slows down Operation Doom could be a game changer, by giving the rest of the little guys more time to band together a coalition strong enough to strike back when the time is right.

- The Motive

The history of these two races’ alliance is something I lament us not having more lore to pull from- how far back it goes, what the character of the Vort was like during that time, what the Irkens had offered in return- a few among dozens of questions it rears.  The implication behind how it ended lies in Zim’s creation that slayed Tallest Miyuki. Interestingly, the Empire never received the memo of what exactly went down, or, perhaps, stubbornly denied the account of the other scientists who were there that day. Neither Red/Purple nor the Judgmentia Brains had any idea that Zim’s actions led to the death of a Tallest. So, makes sense that the Vortians became the unintentional scapegoat (no pun intended) for the incident, and the rest is history.

Note: It’s also in the realm of possibility that Vort was actually the one to withdraw from the alliance instead, given that the same blob that devoured Miyuki (purely the fault of their Irken transfer) also went on to cause untold amounts of devastation. Red’s reaction to the real story stuck out to me as more telling, although.

But why am I even talking about this? Zim was decades old before war was declared on them, and either people’s regard to each other seemed strangely… respectful, if anything.

But, was Vort really a monolithic bunch? Irk was already an empire by this point, and diplomacy with those they needed something from did not mean they weren’t otherwise an aggressive force in the universe. For all we know, the alliance itself might have been coerced, or result of depraved leadership among the Vortians.  Any citizen with a conscience who could see the writing on the walls would be disgusted by giving so much aid and brown nosing to such a menace, no? I know who would have seen that writing before anyone else. Brainiacs who are smart enough to build something like The Massive and all its bells and whistles would know better than anyone just what it was all capable of in the wrong hands. The collateral damage against your own people might be a sacrifice worth making in the face of the alternative.

- The Oppurtunity

So.. that’s all well and good, yeah? A why, and a what, yet this is actually the tricky part of saving the galaxy,

Sneaking your StupidifyIrk.exe file onto the assholes’ homeworld without alerting either them or your own treacherous, weak, collaborator superiors to your actions. Infecting and releasing a random Irken alive would be far too dangerous, far too noticeable to the point where they could just be destroyed outright before given a chance to wreak real havoc.

But what about releasing a dead Irken? 🤔

PAKs are only screened for criminal flaws when errors begin to affect their body’s behaviors in destructive ways. A fully competent scientist, or soldier, or navigator performing a lifetime of loyal service to the empire and then meeting an unfortunate end? Their minds’ shadows can be accepted back into the data pool no questions asked. That’s only business as usual.

That almost makes new smeets something of a reincarnation of their ancestors. Personally, I see it kind of like replaying a video game and re-rolling your stats, even if you’re reusing your character’s name and general play style.

Either way, we come full circle to my theory about Zim’s actual origin. Maybe not “our” Zim, but the previous iteration of data that was shuffled to create his person. Whoever they were, I’m convinced that they were also an exceptional individual. They were probably pretty arrogant, but it was a more earned confidence, and they were a prodigy genius, the likes of which that was drawn to work alongside Vortian allies, as another researcher. Then, an untimely demise befell them. I couldn’t say they fell victim to some unfortunate accident, considering the cockroach durability of their body. No, I find it a lot easier to imagine they met their end in one of the more embarrassing ways for an Irken to die- A PAK stolen, disabled or forcefully detached by an assailant they might have allowed a little closer than they should have. To the homeworld, it’s a small matter. One more PAK recovered by the natives of the friendly planet, brought back home to be repurposed by the smeeteries, right?

Well, that’s what one smartass might have been hoping for.

And they really were a clever cookie, because that scheming seed is fruiting beautifully.

[enchanterium-fan-account]

There’s only one fire sign left to go, and I know you’re excited to see them. First we had steampunk Aries, and then we had Kitsugi Leo, and now get ready for zebra-style Sagittarius!

The two random prompts this time, zebra and Ancient Greek, were chosen by Barb and Alex throwing darts at prompt filled balloons, (and missing) but eventually they each hit one and then it was off to the customizing races!

“I was hoping to pick a wolf or a cat to have some fun with the design, but zebra is okay. Zebra is from the same family as horse, so I’m going to use Area Trotter doll. Another rare doll destroyed by customizers!” *evil laugh*

“This doll’s not getting big mods, so I thought she could at least have some chest augmentation like Taurus. She has a big horse booty, so why not give her a voluminous chest?”

“Now let’s paint the horse. I’m keeping the purple color, but you probably can guess it, I want a gradient. Come on it’s like a tradition at this point.”

“I thought maybe straightening the hair would help me dye it, but then I thought that was a stupid idea.”

“I don’t want to flip all of this (the hair) so I’m just going to swish it side to side and hope that covers it all. And I am fighting the urge to use what’s left on my own head.”

To wrap it up we have the clothes, which is mostly Barb ranting over how to make a toga that I feel is best conveyed through photos.

But she figured it out like she always does, and the doll ended up amazing! But why take my word for it, when you can see for yourselves?

I hope you guys enjoy this video as much as I did! Up next I’ll be posting the Gemini video, ideally I get the post up before the new year so we’re all caught up and ready for Capricorn season.

If you like the content consider subscribing to the Enchanterium YouTube channel! 💚💙💖

[wolven91]

The Human Problem

Humans.

'Late to the party' as they would say, were only discovered after many of the other sentient races had already discovered one another for thousands of years. That wasn't unusual. Space was big, very big. There are records of many species and races living in old territories of one another and not knowing it simply because of how big space was.

What was unusual, was how the draconians, were not surprised by the human appearance like the other races were. Furthermore, the draconians already had many stories of humans, or at least, something that could match the human appearance according to their archivists and philosophers. Although, to the draconians, 'human' wasn't the correct name.

According to the literal hundreds of draconian stories and even one or two ancient texts; humans, were called the fae.

All three rings of the draconian government were present for the debate. The inner circle, the chaotic aquatic draconians swam in the mighty pool at the centre of the auditorium. These were the artists and creatives of the draconians. They celebrated the humans as a great tiding and new life being breathed into a stagnant and dying universe.

The outer circle, the quadrupedal dragons clung to the rafters and in the upper stands. They suspected the humans; they knew what the stories of the fae warned. The outer circle of government was the military arm of the draconian people, it was their honourable duty to protect the draconian way of life. Humans represented chaos and new dangers.

Finally, the middle circle of their government, the bipedal draconians. These were the even hand of the draconian people, the ones who were the outward face and considered all sides before acting. They... did not know how to handle a part of their history come to life. Humans or Fae, they were fantasy, they were myth. It was as if the draconian children's imaginary friends were all suddenly wished into being.

How does one handle the magical suddenly made physical?

The fae, were described as 'Without, feather, fur or scale...' by an ancient text dated several tens of thousands of years ago. At first, it was assumed that it references ghosts or spirits. Likewise, their exploits were just as fantastic. As folktales began, the spirits gained flesh. They were given a name.

Fae.

Shorter creatures that lacked feather, fur or scale. Fleshy creatures that gave off warmth unlike the draconians. They lacked direct advantage in a fight, no claws or sharp teeth or even wings, but a bite from them would always become infected. They were either a great ally, offering boons or sound advice, or they were merciless tricksters, fooling the rude and cruel to their dooms. Often using a draconian's greatest desire against them.

The golden rules to dealing with a human was to be polite, never threaten them or theirs and to never, under any circumstances, offer them your full name.

"The ancient texts are incomplete!"

"We all know what it was going to say! 'Without feather, fur..' and the final portion was to be 'without scale'!"

"That is a guess! The piece is missing!"

"And the folktales? They all complete the saying."

"We have no knowledge of where they began, there's no written beginning to the folktales."

The debate raged on, while several of the more serious bowed out from the discussion, a consensus would not be found here. A purple draconian with a serious expression stalked the halls back to their quarters as they considered the situation.

Humans were a problem. The fae were rightly destroyed. Killed as technology was discovered. No one needed magic back in the universe, least of all an entire race that could destabilise the draconian rings of power. The humans were few, this was a good thing. A few credits given to the select few and many of these humans could suffer accidents or simply disappear in their travels.

No one would miss them, and the status quo would return, but they would have to reach out to like minded others amongst the ssypno, taurian, ursidain and others...

The loathed races would cooperate again to resolve the human problem.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Timeline (New and Improved)

Finally got around to creating a new, from the ground up UF timeline, including all pre-story events, UF, UF2, and UFF and even beyond (aka MK2 or at least the start of it). Bear in mind that nothing in this timeline is finalized or official until it is actually written into UF proper, everything here is subject to change and shift around, and spoilers are abundant for all three stories, but there are some that I think are too spoilery that I've blocked out for ya'll. So with all that said, enjoy! (below the cut bc this is EXTREMELY LONG)

Ancient History

Pre-History

The Axolotl comes into existence, presiding over time and space

Bill Cipher is born in Euclydia to Euclid and Scalene

In an attempt to "liberate" Euclydia from the second dimension, Bill ends up destroying his home dimension and everyone in it

Bill conquers a slowly decaying dimension known as the Nightmare Realm and forms his gang of Henchmaniacs

The universe is born along with its countless lifeforms. (Humans and Gems included)

Bill sets his sights on Earth, wanting to merge the Nightmare Realm with it and conquer it as his own

Eons Ago

White Diamond, acting as the leader of all Gemkind, constructs the Gem Homeworld society

White Diamond creates Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond to aid her in colonizing other worlds

White emphasizes the importance of perfection, creating Homeworld's caste system, bans cross-Gem fusion, and punishes Gems deemed "imperfect"

Under the Great Diamond Authority, the Gem race expands and cements their control over 43 planetary bodies and two star systems through colonization

Pink Diamond is created as the last of the Diamonds, coming out smaller than the others

Fluorite, Rhodonite, Padparadscha, and the Rutile Twins are considered "off color" by Homeworld standards and remain in hiding underground in an abandoned Kindergarten to avoid the Shattering Robonoids

Pink Diamond is given Pink Pearl, who she ends up damaging in a fit of rage; after this, White Diamond takes Pink Pearl away and takes control of her

Pink Diamond is given Spinel as a playmate and Pearl is given to Pink to replace her old one

Over 6,000 years ago

Ruby, Sapphire, Bismuth, and Lapis Lazuli are created on the Gem Homeworld or one of its colonies

Gems arrive on Earth, their first scout ship crash landing in what would eventually become Gravity Falls, Oregon; the impact of their ship's landing forms a deep valley

Pink Diamond is granted access to colonize Earth; she abandons Spinel in the garden to focus on running her colony

Gems begin to emerge in the Prime Kindergarten; Structures such as the Lunar Sea Spire, Communication Hub, Sky Spire, Moon Base, and Sea Shrine are constructed; Amethyst is formed (but does not emerge) in the Alpha Kindergarten

Pearl inspires Pink Diamond to disguise herself as a Rose Quartz so she can explore the Earth; while on Earth, Pink becomes fascinated by the beauty of the planet and realizes that her colony would destroy all of it

Pink contacts the other Diamonds to tell them that she does not wish to complete the colony and instead wants to preserve the life on Earth; in response, Blue Diamond creates a Human Zoo for her and she along with Yellow Diamond kidnap humans from their families and stored them inside the Zoo

Over 5,750 Years Ago

Pink Diamond decides to use her Rose Quartz alter-ego to make a stand that her fellow Diamonds could not ignore. She originally intended to use Rose Quartz to scare away other Gems

Pink Diamond (as Rose Quartz) and Pearl defect from Homeworld and form the Crystal Gems

The cut of Rose Quartz is thereby recognized as a threat and every Rose Quartz is removed from service, specifically from Pink Diamond's entourage; they are bubbled in the human zoo

Blue Diamond and members of her court arrive on Earth and oversees the removal of the then-forming Rebellion

Sapphire is sent to Earth along with three Ruby guards at the request of Blue Diamond; after Rose and Pearl launch a direct attack, Ruby and Sapphire accidentally form Garnet for the first time

Rose tells Pearl how fascinated she is that two completely different Gems fused. Pearl attempts to fuse with Rose but fails. Rose and Pearl run into Garnet where Rose tells her to never question who she is, recruiting her to the Crystal Gems

Over 5,500 Years Ago

Pink Diamond tries one more time to persuade Yellow and Blue to end colonization, this time using Rose Quartz as an excuse. The other Diamonds continued to ignore her pleas

Rose meets Bill Cipher for the first time; he offers to help her save the Earth from the other Diamonds and the two become friends, eventually developing feelings for each other

The Gem War officially begins

Bismuth is recruited to Rose's cause, outfitting the Crystal Gems with weapons; she creates Rose's Sword

True to his word, Bill assists the Crystal Gems' cause by possessing Homeworld Gems, using them to shatter their comrades before forcing them to shatter themselves; Rose is largely unaware of this but over time, Pearl becomes suspicious of his motives

Rose and Bill's romance continues as they fuse for the first of several times, forming Druzy Quartz

Humans begin to become involved in the Gem War; wanting to protect them without raising suspicion from the other Diamonds, Pink Diamond commissions the creation of Ambers, a new cut of Gem specializing in organic preservation, claiming they're meant to work at the human zoo; Rose ends up recruiting most of the Ambers to her cause

Over 5,300 Years Ago

Lapis Lazuli arrives on Earth to visit for a short time and is caught mid-war and poofed by a Bismuth-type warrior Gem

Lapis Lazuli is then collected by a Homeworld soldier and was mistaken for a rebel. She is imprisoned in a mirror to be used as a source of information

Over 5,000 Years Ago

The Beta Kindergarten is established mid-way through the Rebellion in haste to create more troops; Jasper is created among these troops

Bismuth presents Rose with the Breaking Point, a weapon designed to shatter Gems, specifically the Diamonds. Disagreeing, Rose poofed and bubbled Bismuth (upon Bill's suggestion), later storing her in Lion's pocket dimension

Pearl presents her worries about Bill to Rose; Rose attempts to contact Bill to set things straight but he refuses to answer her for unknown reasons; Realizing they're on their own, Rose and Pearl develop a last-ditch plan to save the earth

Pink Diamond and Pearl plan a ruse to stage Pink Diamond's shattering. Pearl, shapeshifted into Rose Quartz, "shatters" Pink Diamond by poofing her after she has swallowed fake gem shards

From then on, Pink Diamond permanently identifies herself as Rose Quartz and continues leading the Crystal Gems in the Rebellion

In grief over Pink Diamond's 'shattering' the remaining Diamond Authority makes a deal with Bill Cipher to get revenge on the Crystal Gems and the Earth

Homeworld officially enters Era 2

White, knowing Pink is Rose Quartz, makes a separate deal with Bill to return Pink's gemstone to Homeworld so she can be (spoiler)

Earth is deemed an unviable colony by Homeworld, commencing Forced Fusion experiments using the gemstone shards of fallen Crystal Gems; The Cluster is embedded in the Earth's core at some point as part of these experiments

Blue Diamond takes over Pink Diamond's Zoo in her absence

During a battle between Rose and Hessonite, the Light Prism is lost

Over 4,500 Years Ago

Homeworld Gems are commanded to evacuate Earth

Lapis Lazuli's mirror is abandoned at the Galaxy Warp and her gemstone is trampled over and cracked during the evacuation. Many Homeworld Gems such as Centipeetle get left behind

A flash of light is set off by the Diamonds, corrupting all Gems caught in it; The only known Gems who were unaffected are Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz, Pearl, Garnet, Bismuth, and Lapis Lazuli

Following the corrupting light, Rose begs Bill to restore the corrupted Crystal Gems; Bill rebuffs her, however, claiming that his true intentions were to drive Gems off of Earth so he could take it for himself as their "relationship" officially comes to an end

Bill changes the conditions of his deal with Rose and desires her gemstone as payment for his "services" during the war; Rose refuses to give it to him and Bill retreats for the time being, promising that he will return to take what's his eventually

The Galaxy Warp becomes inactive

Unknown

Era 2 of Gem production begins on Homeworld

Jasper is transferred to Yellow's court

Amethyst is found in the Prime Kindergarten and joins the Crystal Gems

Unnatural anomalies and strange creatures begin to congregate in the area that would become Gravity Falls

Peridot is formed and receives her limb enhancers on Homeworld

Pearl finds Lapis Lazuli's mirror at the Galaxy Warp and stores it in her Gem

Rose and Bill continue to encounter each other throughout the centuries, opposing each other each time they do

1000 AD

Bill attempts to trick a shaman named Modoc the Wise into building a portal between the Nightmare Realm and the Earth, though their deal falls through when Modoc prophesies an apocalyptic event involving Bill

Gravity Falls' native population evacuates the valley under fear of the land being cursed following contact with Bill Cipher, leaving pottery, blankets, and remnants of their language behind

19th Century

1837

Quentin Trembley wins the 9th Presidential Election of the United States in a literal landslide. However, his many silly and embarrassing policies lead him to be forced out of office, and William Henry Harrison is declared the 9th president of the United States

1842

8½th United States President Quentin Trembley discovers the valley of Gravity Falls and subsequently founds the town

1843

Drawn to the valley due to its odd properties, the Crystal Gems arrive in Gravity Falls and begin to investigate its anomalies

The Crystal Gems construct the Gem Temple near the Floating Cliffs

1859

Pioneer William Dewey and the settlers accompanying him on the Oregon Trail to Gravity Falls are rescued from a gem monster by the Crystal Gems; however, Dewey is falsely hailed as the town hero due to a misunderstanding

1862

In order to cover up the fact that President Trembley founded Gravity Falls (after he freezes himself in peanut brittle), Nathaniel Northwest deemed the founder of Gravity Falls and William Dewey is dubbed its first official mayor

Nathaniel Northwest tricks the lumberjacks of Gravity Falls into building Northwest Manor of the false promise of allowing them into their annual party; they contract the Crystal Gems to help oversee the safety of the project

1863

The first Northwest Party takes place, however Nathaniel Northwest breaks his promise and locks the townsfolk out; the Crystal Gems attempt to intervene over this injustice but are ultimately too late; the lead lumberjack is killed in the ensuing Great Flood of 1863 and vows revenge against the Northwests in his final breath

1860s-1870s

Rose Quartz begins traversing the Desert with a pride of lions

Buddy Buddwick leaves Dewey's crew to begin his career as an explorer and author; he records his research of Gem locations in his book

One of Rose's lions dies and she resurrects him

20th Century

1901

The Anti-Cipher Society is formed, dedicated to defeating Bill Cipher; when Rose meets them during her travels, she secretly assists them by supplying them with Gem weaponry

C.1953

Identical twins Stanford and Stanley Pines are born in Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey to Filbrick and Caryn Pines

1960s

Stan and Ford start rebuilding an old ship they found in a cave

1965

Greg DeMayo (Universe) is born

1972

Stan is disowned after ruining Ford's science project, costing the family potential millions

After being rejected from West Cost Tech, Ford enrolls in Backupsmore University; during this time he meets Fiddleford McGucket

1972-1982

Stan, now a solo drifter, travels in and out of the United States as a salesman and impoverished conman; he goes to prison at least 3 times

1973

Ford is accepted into the doctoral program 3 years ahead of schedule; he receives a research grant of $100000 for any field of his choice

1975

Ford arrives in Gravity Falls and begins documenting his research of its anomalies in Journal 1

Ford meets Rose Quartz and the Crystal Gems; realizing their similar goals, Rose and Ford become partners in researching Gravity Falls and its anomalies

Before 1981

With the Gems' help, Ford is able to document extensive notes on Gem fusion, culture, history, biology, and weaponry

Rose takes Ford to her hidden armory under Gravity Falls' cemetery

Rose also shows Ford the remains of the crashed Gem scout ship buried underneath Gravity Falls (which he dubs Crash Site Omega)

Rose entrusts one of laser light canons with Ford, who helps her hide it in a dense forest maze

1981

Rose and Ford hit a wall in their research; at this point, Ford finds the cave drawings that depict Bill Cipher and summons him, hoping he will give him the answers to the mysteries of Gravity Falls. Ford and Bill become partners and start work together; Ford keeps their partnership (and relationship) a secret from Rose and the other Gems

Ford begins to write Journal 3, six years since beginning his research in Gravity Falls

Bill gives Ford plans for the Universe Portal; Ford and the Gems begin construction on the portal

Ford asks Fiddleford McGucket to visit him in Gravity Falls, to help him with building the portal

Ford, Fiddleford, Rose, and the Gems journey to Crash Site Omega to salvage a hyperdrive from the ship (Crash Site Omega)

Disturbed by his encounter with the Gremgoblin, Fiddleford constructs the Memory Gun, much to Ford and Rose's shared concern

To protect their research, Ford, Fiddleford, Rose, and the Gems begin constructing an underground bunker; Rose and Ford hatch the shapeshifter and raise it as a pet, only for it to turn on them and go rouge; they are forced to freeze it in a cryogenic tube

Rose gives Ford the mirror for later research, but he never gets around to it, storing it away instead

1982

Ford allows Bill to possess him so he can complete calculations on the portal; Rose encounters Ford in this state and becomes increasingly concerned

Fiddleford implores Ford to give up on the portal and instead publish his already existing research, but Ford is adamant; at the same time, Rose confides in the other Gems that she has worries over the portal herself

Fiddleford is nearly sucked into the portal and quits the project; in order to erase his mind from the horrors he's seen, he founds the Society of the Blind Eye; his mind begins to deteriorate due to extensive use of the mind erasing gun

Fiddleford also entrusts the Crystal Gems with a spare memory gun, just in case

Rose and the Gems also break off from Ford after the portal accident, all of them horrified at the danger it could pose to the earth

Ford breaks off his deal with Bill after finding out that he had been deceived; as a result, he becomes increasingly paranoid and isolated; Bill continues to possess Ford, becoming increasingly destructive with his body each time

Rose encounters Bill Cipher again, this time as he's possessing Ford; after a brief skirmish, Rose vows to stop Bill's ambitions, no matter what the cost; following this encounter, Ford confides to Rose about his ill-fated deal with Bill but Rose remains silent about her own history with him

Ford entrusts Journal 3 into Rose's care; she later hides it on the temple hill; Ford hides journal 2 near the local elementary school

Ford contacts Stan, who comes to Gravity Falls in response; Ford attempts to entrust Journal 1 to Stan, but is sucked into the universe portal and is lost in the multiverse for 30 years

Ford encounters Bill in the Nightmare Realm and makes a narrow escape along with a group of interdimensional Refugees

Ford begins to travel across the various dimensions to learn all he can about Bill in the hopes of defeating him once and for all

Rose resolves to make sure that the other two journals remain hidden to prevent Stan from reopening the portal, even if its for the sake of saving Ford

Stan begins running the Murder Hut, later renamed the Mystery Shack, in Ford's house

The government begins to take notice of odd readings in Gravity Falls due to the universe portal

Ford becomes an outlaw in a number of different dimensions

1984

Greg DeMayo drops out of community college and changes his last name to Universe to become a professional musician and tour the country under his manager Marty

1986

Greg holds a concert in Gravity Falls, and Rose Quartz is the only one who attends; Greg decides to stay in Gravity Falls with Rose and the two soon fall in love (Like a Comet)

Greg begins working at the Murder Hut under Stan

1988

Bill tricks Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl into allowing him to possess them so he can finally claim Rose's Gem; Rose manages to fight him out of the trio but their minds are essentially left broken as a result of his possession (Triple Crossed

To fix the damage done by Bill, Rose uses the memory gun to erase the Gems' memories of Bill, the portal, and even Ford (Triple Crossed)

1990

Jesus "Soos" Ramirez is born

Stan and Amethyst form an unlikely friendship and begin to go on weekly "Revenge Trips" with each other; they continue this trend for 8 years

1990s

Ford encounters the Oracle, Jheselbraum the Unswerving in Dimension 52; the two coerce over their shared desire to vanquish Bill Cipher once and for all; Jheselbraum installs a metal plate into Ford's skull to prevent Bill from interfering with his mind any further

1997

Wendy Corduroy is born

To earn extra money, Greg takes up a second job babysitting with Rose's help; after this falls through, Stan helps Greg out by giving him a loan to buy the car wash

1998

Stan and Amethyst finally get arrested on a Revenge Trip; Rose and the other Gems break them out of prison and Stan and Amethyst stop hanging out

Rose leaves her other laser light canon in Greg's storage unit

Rose writes a letter of farewell to Ford containing hints as to the location of the Gems' memories in the event of his return; she entrusts this letter with Greg

Rose leaves two tapes for her unborn child behind, one at the remains of Pink Diamond's ship and the other in Lion's mane; she also hides the Crystal Gems' lost memories there as well

Rose Quartz gives up her physical form to have Steven Universe with Greg

1999

Twins Mabel and Mason "Dipper" Pines are born to Aaron and Allison Pines

Connie Mahaswaran is born to Doug and Priyanka Maheswaran

Pacifica Northwest is born to Preston and Priscilla Northwest

Early 2000s

2002

Gideon Gleeful is born to Bud Gleeful and his wife

Soos begins to work at the Mystery Shack

Pre-2012

Ford travels to a parallel dimension where he is given plans for a Quantum Destabilizer by a parallel version of Fiddleford

Steven moves in with the Gems after Greg completes the house in front of the temple

Gideon finds journal 2 in the schoolyard of Gravity Falls Elementary

Gideon steals a telepathic Gem artifact from the Crystal Gems

Wendy starts working at the Mystery Shack

Allison and Aaron Pines begin to have marriage troubles

2010s

2012

Steven summons his shield for the first time

Steven and Connie meet and become friends

Pearl is damaged and poofed by her holographic counterpart and reforms two weeks later with a new design

Steven meets Lion, who follows him home and becomes his companion

Universe Falls

Season 1 -Early June

Dipper and Mabel arrive in Gravity Falls for the summer; they meet Steven and Connie and together, the kids fend off a group of gnomes; Dipper discovers Journal 3 on the temple hill (Tourist Trapped)

The Crystal Gems defend the Mystery Shack from Centepeedles and meet the twins; Steven summons his shield once more (Gem Glow)

Pearl and Amethyst fuse into Opal to rescue Steven from a robotic lake monster built by Old Man McGucket (Legend of the Giant Woman)

Amethyst and Garnet form Sugilite to break down the Gem communication hub (Strong in the Real Way)

A Homeworld vessel appears on Earth for the first time in 4,000 years in the form of the Red Eye; Steven, Dipper, and Mabel help the Crystal Gems defend Gravity Falls against the Red Eye by utilizing Rose's laser light canons

Bill Cipher and Yellow Diamond begin planning their final stages of their deal

Gideon develops a crush on Mabel and attempts to get rid of Dipper and Steven in order to be with her; he is subsequently defeated by Mabel; the kids return the Gem artifact Gideon stole to the Gems (Lil' Gideon)

The Gems recover Hessonite's Light Prism; Steven accidentally unleashes a light army through it, which the kids track down and defeat across town; Steven encourages the Prism that it can be whatever it wants (Attack the Light)

Steven discovers he has healing spit after Amethyst is nearly fatally cracked; he also accidentally cures Connie's eyesight (An Indirect Kiss)

Steven uses his Gem to access Rose's Room for the first time; the Gems discover Journal 3, and though they are bewildered by its contents and information concerning them, they allow Dipper to keep it (Gems and Journals)

Steven, Dipper, and Mabel free Lapis Lazuli from the mirror; she subsequently steals all of the water in Lake Gravity Falls in a desperate attempt to return to Homeworld (Mirror Gem)

Lapis's cracked Gem is healed by Steven and she returns to Homeworld; the lake is restored (Waterfall Gem)

Season 2 - Early - Mid June

Pioneer Day is Celebrated in Gravity Falls; Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Connie unfreeze President Quintin Trembley from his frozen state; the Northwest coverup is revealed and the kids discover Rose's secret armory (Irrational Treasure)

Pearl, Steven, the twins, Stan, and Greg attempt to build a space ship (Space Race)

Steven discovers he has the power to create sentient watermelon look alikes; Gideon nearly takes the Mystery Shack by shrinking Steven, Dipper, and Mabel, but he is ultimately thwarted; Steven sends the Watermelon Stevens off (Measure Up)

Garnet reveals her future vision ability and Dipper uses her intel to break Wendy and Robbie up; Mabel adopts Waddles the pig (Future Vision)

Amethyst takes Steven and Dipper to the Kindergarten she was made in (On the Run)

Steven discovers the tape Rose left behind for him in Lion's mane (Straight to Video)

Stan and Amethyst go on a revenge trip to get even with Gideon, narrowly avoiding arrest (Revenge Trip)

Gideon summons Bill Cipher to invade Stan's mind to acquire the code to the Mystery Shack safe; Bill is defeated by Dipper, Mabel, Steven, Connie, and Soos (Dreamscapers)

Gideon takes over the Mystery Shack by force and the Pines temporarily move into the temple; the Crystal Gems fuse into Alexandrite to save Steven and the twins from Gideon's robot; Gideon exposed as a fraud by Stan and is subsequently jailed (Gideon Rises)

Ford ends up on Homeworld, where he is quickly captured by Yellow Diamond's forces

Season 3 - Mid June

Government Agents Powers and Trigger come to Gravity Falls to investigate strange readings coming from the town; The Pines fend off zombies with the help of the Crystal Gems (Scary-Oke)

Peridot arrives on Earth at the Galaxy Warp on a scouting mission; the kids later confront Peridot at the Prime Kindergarten (Marble Madness)

Dipper, Mabel, Steven, Connie, Amethyst, Garnet, Soos, and Wendy investigate the author's underground bunker and refreeze the shape shifter and recover the laptop; Amethyst is poofed three times and regenerates into a new form (Into the Bunker)

Lapis arrives back on Homeworld but is soon apprehended and interrogated by Peridot; she is subsequently imprisoned and meets Ford; the two plan an escape, but they are ultimately thwarted; Lapis flees back to Earth while Ford is pulled away from Homeworld, back into the Nightmare Realm

Steven and Connie fuse into Stevonnie for the first time (Alone Together)

Steven and Mabel fuse into Maven for the first time (Together Forever)

Steven and Dipper fuse into Stepper for the first time; he fends off Peridot's attack robinoids (Forever Alone)

Soos and Melody begin dating (Soos and the Real Girl)

Lion retrieves Rose's Scabbard from the Strawberry Battlefield (Rose's Scabbard)

The Pines and Universe families attempt to impress Connie's strict parents (The Dinner Shack)

Dipper discovers that Lapis has returned to Earth and is taking refuge in the waterfall cave; the two form a close friendship; Lapis warns the Crystal Gems that Peridot is returning with reinforcements (Dipper and Lapis)

Gravity Falls is evacuated; Stan stays behind and Dipper and Mabel return to help Steven and the Gems; Peridot and Jasper arrive on Earth and take Steven and the Crystal Gems captive; Garnet is poofed; Dipper and Mabel stow away on their ship to rescue them (The Return)

Ruby and Sapphire re-fuse into Garnet; Garnet defeats Jasper; Peridot flees from the Crystal Gems; Lapis and Jasper fuse into Malachite; Malachite is trapped at the bottom of Lake Gravity Falls (Jailbreak)

Season 4 - Late June

The citizens of Gravity Falls begin repairing damage caused by the Gem Warship (Full Disclosure)

Steven, Dipper, Mabel, and the Cool Kids discover Peridot's escape pod, which is then apprehended by the Crystal Gems; Robbie and Tambry start dating (Joy Ride)

In trying to find out the password to the laptop to rescue Lapis, Dipper makes a deal with Bill Cipher and is possessed by him; Bill's plans to destroy Journal 3 are thwarted thanks to Mabel, Steven, and Connie (Sock Opera)

Dipper and Connie begin taking sword training lessons from Pearl (Do It For Them)

Pearl entrusts Dipper with the Ancient Sea Blade; the Crystal Gems discover Peridot's location. After she escapes, the group happens upon a nest of forced fusions created from pieces of shattered gems (Keeping it Together)

The kids, the Gems, Soos, and Wendy discover the Society of the Blind Eye and help McGucket recover his memories from them (Society of the Blind Eye)

The Northwests hold their annual party; Dipper and Pacifica work together to break the curse on the manor; Steven and Connie defeat a group of Gem mutants; Steven entrusts Connie with Rose's sword (Northwest Mansion Nightmare)

Ford goes to face Bill himself in the Nightmare Realm once more

Stan is arrested by the government agents; Dipper, Mabel, Steven, Soos and the Crystal Gems discover his shadowy past as well as the universe portal; The portal opens and Ford returns after 30 years, though he is unable to defeat Bill before he does (Not What He Seems)

Ford reunites with the Crystal Gems, who have no apparent recollection of him (A Tale of Two Stans)

Season 5 - Early July

Ford receives the letter Rose wrote to him; Steven discovers the memories that Rose took from the Crystal Gems in Lion's mane and returns them (Lost and Found)

Garnet and Pearl fuse to form Sardonyx to destroy the Homeworld Communication Hub after Peridot rebuilds it. Amethyst and the kids learn that Pearl has been lying to Garnet about subsequent repairs to the Communication Hub, presumably done by Peridot, to keep fusing with her (Cry For Help)

Ford dismantles the universe portal, however doing so creates a rift in space and time, which Ford manages to contain 

Stan, Mabel, and Steven rescue Dipper, Ford, and Pearl from Probabilitor the Wizard; Pearl and Ford rekindle their former friendship; Ford creates the Sword of Seasons for Dipper and confides in him about the Rift (Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons)

Garnet unfuses into Ruby and Sapphire after a falling out between the two of them over Pearl's deception; the two eventually re-fuse (Evergreen Inn)

Stan runs for Mayor of Gravity Falls against Bud Gleeful and wins; however, due to Stan's extensive criminal record, Mayor Dewey ends up resuming his mayoral position (The Stanchurian Candidate)

Garnet and Pearl forgive each other and the Gems repair their friendship with Ford while trying to capture Peridot (Friend Ship)

Steven discovers his ability to venture into the dreams of others and uses this to communicate with Lapis; However, amidst this he's countered by Bill, who makes his intentions of taking Steven's Gem away clear to get his end of his longtime deal with Rose (Chille Tid)

Mabel, Connie Candy, Grenda, Wendy, and Pearl collect unicorn hair to protect the shack and the temple from Bill Cipher; Dipper and Steven discover Ford's history with Bill; Ford tells Steven about the rift (The Last Mabelcorn)

Peridot wanders the wilds of Gravity Falls where she encounters Bill, who offers her a chance to get back to Homeworld in exchange for helping him take out the Crystal Gems; Peridot declines but Bill claims the offer is on the table any time and also informs her of his alliance with Yellow Diamond (Peridot in the Wild)

In a fight against the Crystal Gems, Peridot agrees to 'fuse' with Bill to become Pyrite; Pyrite is ultimately defeated by the Gems and Peridot is poofed by Steven and Dipper and bubbled (Pyrite)

Steven and Mabel free Peridot, who escapes again and takes refuge in the shack's bathroom (Catch and Release)

Season 6 - Early - Mid July

Steven, Connie, Stan, Ford, Soos, and Wendy go camping; Garnet and the twins track down an escaped Peridot who has teamed up with an escaped Gideon (Split Up)

Peridot reveals to the kids that a massive Cluster composed of millions of shattered gems is incubating below the earth and is due to form and destroy the planet (To Con a Clod)

The Crystal Gems and the Pines use Greg's family barn as a base to build a machine that can stop the cluster; Ford and McGucket reunite and reconcile (Bot Battle)

Stepper is formed again to aid in Ford's research; Stepper fuses with Mabel to form Dipevebel for the first time; Steven discovers his floating abilities (Three's a Crowd)

Pacifica assists Dipper and Peridot in collecting Titan's Ore for the construction of the drill (Peridot and Pacifica)

Steven turns 14 (An Undisclosed Dance)

The Crystal Gems travel to a Homeworld base on the moon where Peridot reveals the Homeworld's original plans to colonize and drain the earth of its natural resources; Peridot confronts Yellow Diamond and defects from Homeworld, becoming an official member of the Crystal Gems; the Crystal Gems and the Pines learn of Yellow Diamond's alliance with Bill Cipher (Message Received)

Bill convinces Yellow Diamond to come to Earth during Weirdmageddon, revealing that "Rose Quartz" is still alive

Dipper tags along with the Gems to confront Malachite and rescue Lapis Lazuli; Malachite is split up and Jasper goes missing (Out Too Far)

Steven, Mabel, Peridot, and Ford use the drill to travel to the cluster, where Steven is able to contain the geoweapon by bubbling it (In Too Deep)

Season 7 - Mid - Late July

Steven and Dipper help Lapis adjust to life on Earth. Lapis reluctantly moves into the Barn with Peridot, but eventually warms up to her (Same Old World)

Dipper and Pacifica start dating (Mismatched Making)

Stevonnie, Maven, and Stepper take Kevin and his friends on in a street race; the kids meet the speed demon Zoom (Gravity Falls Drift)

Steven further develops his mental powers by accidentally taking over an unwitting Stan (The New Stan)

Jasper returns and nearly forces Lapis to fuse with her once more before being thwarted by Dipper (Alone on the Lake)

Small interdimensional rifts begin forming around Gravity Falls

Steven and Dipper end up getting trapped in the Nightmare Realm and form Stepper to take on Bill; Bill severely cracks Stepper's Gem; Stepper makes a deal to give Bill his shield journal in exchange for returning him home (Rifts)

Stepper's gem his healed but his memories of Steven and Dipper are gone; Mabel attempts to restore Stepper's lost memories; the Pines and the Gems plan their stand against Bill to recover the shield journal; Ford tells the Gems about the Rift (Memories)

The Pines and the Gems face Bill in the Nightmare Realm; Stepper recovers Steven's half of the shield journal but Bill burns Dipper's and possesses him once more; Steven rescues Dipper and everyone escapes from the Nightmare Realm; In trying to defeat Bill, Stepper ends up tearing wider holes in the dimensional fabric that lead to other parallel dimensions (Dimensions)

Season 8 - Late July - Early August

Ford details the secrets behind Gravity Falls' strangeness to Dipper; Steven, Mabel, and Connie discover that Jasper is amassing an army of corrupted Gems; Mabonnven is formed for the first time (Theories of Weirdness)

The kids discover a dimension where Steven is Yellow Diamond's son and the twins have used magic to practically take over the town (Played in Reverse)

Amethyst is poofed by Jasper, who is defeated when Steven, Dipper, and Connie fuse to form Convenper for the first time; Lapis and Peridot adopt a kitten, which they name Dippurr (Crack the Whip)

The kids happen into a dimension where their personality traits seem to be completely switched around and where Lapis, Peridot, and Jasper are the Crystal Gems (Opposites Attract)

Steven and Amethyst fight before reconciling over their shared shortcomings; Stan and Garnet attempt to teach Mabel boxing (A Rock and a Hard Place)

Steven accidentally releases Bismuth from her bubble inside Lion's mane. Bismuth reconnects with the surviving Crystal Gems and provides upgrades for their weapons. The kids learns the reason for Bismuth's imprisonment and defeat her, but ultimately leave her in self-imposed exile in her forge (Bismuth)

The Pines and the Gems travel to a dimension where the kids are adults and the adults are children; Ford and the Gems reconcile (Its All Relativity)

Stan and Amethyst bring Pearl along on a Revenge Trip; Pearl meets Mystery Girl; Gideon briefly escapes prison but is thwarted by Steven and the twins (Revenge Trap)

Steven and Connie officially become a couple; Pacifica is nearly tricked into making a deal with Bill, forcing Dipper to reveal what he knows about him to her (Double Date)

The kids, Stan, Amethyst, and Peridot track Jasper to the Beta Kindergarten; Amethyst and Steven form Smoky Quartz for the first time while fighting Jasper. Jasper becomes corrupted after attempting to fuse with a Gem Monster and is subsequently defeated by Peridot (Beta)

The Ruby squad arrives on Earth, looking for Jasper; Amethyst (disguised as Jasper) convinces them to take herself and the other Crystal Gems and the Pines to the Moon Base. There, they learn that that Rose Quartz shattered Pink Diamond. (Back to the Moon)

Maven and the Rubies become stranded in deep space; Mabel reveals her feelings for Steven to him; After some time, Maven is saved by the Crystal Gems and the other Pines, having hijacked the Rubies' Roaming Eye ship. (Bubbled)

Season 9 - Mid -Late August

The Pines and the Gems find a dimension where Steven is a normal human and the twins are both half Gems (A Swap of Fate)

Steven, Dipper, Mabel, and Connie fuse to form Stonipbel for the first time (Mindful Education)

Lapis and Pacifica meet and are forced to team up to rescue Dipper from the siren Marina (Song of the Siren)

The Pines and the Gems find a dimension where Earth is a colonizing planet ruled by Bill and Homeworld is a peaceful safe haven (The Home in Homeworld)

(Spoilers) (Time Tangled)

Steven attempts to "connect" with his mother inside of her room; meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel start to grow further and further apart (Storm in the Room)

Dipper, Ford, Connie, and Peridot investigate Crash Site Omega to find a sealant that can repair the cracked Rift; Mabel recruits Steven and the Gems in helping her plan for her and Dipper's upcoming birthday party; tensions continue to grow between Steven and Mabel

Dipper and Mabel have an immense falling out after Dipper agrees to be Ford's apprentice and stay in Gravity Falls; Mabel unknowingly hands the rift over to (Spoiler); Bill breaks the Rift and Weirdmageddon commences (Fear of the Future)

Season 10 - Late August

Weirdmageddon begins as Bill easily takes over Gravity Falls; Yellow Diamond and her forces arrive to make good on the deal between the two; Steven is captured by Yellow Diamond and the Crystal Gems are scattered; the journals are destroyed, Ford is turned to gold and captured by Bill; Mabel is captured by Bill and kept in a dream-inducing bubble; (spoilers) (Welcome to Weirdmageddon)

Dipper wanders the apocalyptic Gravity Falls alone for three days before being found by Lapis; Lapis (spoilers); Ruby and Sapphire and Connie team up to rescue Steven from Yellow Diamond; Dipper and Lapis run into Wendy, Soos, and Pearl and face off against Gideon and his cronies in an attempt to rescue Mabel; after having a change of heart, Gideon lets them through to Mabel's bubble (Alone At the End)

Amethyst and a group of other survivors take refuge in the bunker where they encounter both McGucket and the shapeshifter, who they take down for good  (Out of the Bunker)

Dipper convinces Mabel to leave her self-created fantasy world behind; Bill realizes that he is confined to Gravity Falls thanks to a weirdness barrier; Amethyst and her group make it to the Mystery Shack, where Stan has been hiding out on his own  (Escape from Reality)

 Peridot helps Ruby, Sapphire, and Connie rescue Steven; Stevonnie faces off against Bill and the group escapes Yellow's ship (Love Like You)

Dipper, Mabel, Pearl, Lapis, Soos, and Wendy reunite with Garnet, Steven, Connie, and Peridot; Steven (spoiler); the entire group reconvenes at the Mystery Shack where the kids rally the townsfolk to fight back to free the town; they begin converting the Mystery Shack into a giant robot to confront Bill and Yellow (Take Back the Falls)

Bill attempts to coerce Ford into revealing the secret behind the weirdness barrier so he can take over the entire world, revealing (spoilers) ; The resistance takes both the Henchmaniacs and Yellow's forces head on in a massive assault; a small group manages to sneak into the Fearamid in order to rescue Ford; Bill and Yellow (spoilers) (Of Diamonds and Demons)

While their allies are captured by Bill (Lapis and Peridot are poofed), Steven, Dipper, Mabel, and Connie form Stonipbel and confront Yellow Diamond, (spoilers); Stan tricks Bill into entering his mind, where he is ultimately defeated when Ford erases his mind; Weirdmageddon ends and Yellow Diamonds' forces retreat (The Universe Falls)

The statued remains of Bill Cipher are lost in the forest of Gravity Falls; the town begins to recover from Weirdmageddon; The Mystery Shack gets reconstructed. Stan recovers his memories with the help of Mabel's scrapbook and old home movies of Ford and Stan's childhood; McGucket becomes wealthy and buys the now-ousted Northwest Mansion and Bismuth moves in along with him so they can begin an inventing business; (Spoilers); en route back to Homeworld, Yellow Diamond begins planning a new bioweapon initiative involving humans (Everything Stays)

Dipper and Mabel celebrate their 13th birthday with all of the townsfolk at the Mystery Shack, Stan retires and gives ownership of the Mystery Shack to Soos; Connie, Lapis, Peridot are entrusted by the Gems to (spoilers); Dipper and Mabel leave Gravity Falls to return home to Piedmont; (spoilers); the Kids promise to meet up again in Gravity Falls the following year (Somewhere in the Woods)

Between Stories

(spoilers)

Stan and Ford set sail to hunt down anomalies all over the world together

Bill is confronted by the Axolotl, who sentences him to the Therapism for his crimes; Bill immediately begins plotting his escape (Overture)

Dipper and Mabel return to school but largely keep the details of their summer in Gravity Falls to themselves; their parents' marriage continues to suffer

Yellow Diamond's human-bioweapon initiative kicks off, with humans from Pink Diamond's zoo being utilized as subjects; all of these subjects end up failing however, due to the severity of the process (Overture)

Yellow Diamond commissions the creation of an Amber to oversee the biological status of humans utilized in her project; she also appoints Hessonite to serve as the supervising commander

Bismuth begins reconstructing the Crystal Temple with McGucket and Peridot's help

Pacifica forms a friendship with Candy and Grenda while the twins are away; due to her family recently falling out of money, she takes up a job at Greasy's Diner to pick up the slack

Soos hires Melody on at the Mystery Shack and begins building a secondary house attached to the shack for the Pines to stay in when they return

Steven, Connie, and the Gems visit Dipper and Mabel in Piedmont around the holidays; the Mystery Kids spend their Christmas together

2013

Magical creature hunter Alwin Weidmann arrives in Gravity Falls and begins hunting its anomalies for sport

The forest sprites prophesy that a four-armed, four-eyed hero (Stonipbel) will emerge to save them from some great danger

(spoilers)

Universe Falls 2

Season 1 - Early June

Dipper and Mabel return to Gravity Falls for the summer; (spoilers) Mystery Kids reunite; Stan and Ford are the last to return and a celebration is held to kick off the beginning of summer (Back to the Falls)

Inspired by Ford, Dipper begins writing his own journals to document the new summer (Journal 4)

Soos and Melody get engaged (Prior Engagement)

Gideon seeks advice from Steven, Connie, and the twins about being a "normal" kid; Gideon and the MK properly reconcile for the events of the previous summer (Normal Kideon)

Zoom and the MK team up to race against Zoom's sister Dashley (Speed Demons)

The kids form Stonipbel and defend the forest sprites from Weidmann, who develops an intense dislike for the Gems and the Pines as a result (Fusion Foretold)

Weidmann happens upon Bill's statue in the woods, shaking his hand and freeing him from the Therapism; however, his power is limited and he is forced to work from behind the scenes to repair his powers and restart Weirdmageddon; the Pines and the Gems begin working on a way to defeat Bill for good (Trust No One)

Season 2 - Early - Mid June

Ford, McGucket, the Gems, and the kids return to the bunker, searching for old notes on Bill (Back into the Bunker)

Stan and Amethyst bring Wendy along on a Revenge Trip (Revenge Tour)

Steven and Pacifica fuse into Stevifica for the first time (A Shoulder to Cry On)

After Steven begins having strange dreams, he and Greg travel to Korea along with the twins and Stan to investigate, despite Garnet's warnings; there, Blue Diamond abducts Greg and Stan, taking them to Pink Diamond's Zoo (Steven's Dream)

The Gems and the Pines set out for space to rescue Stan and Greg, leaving Connie, Lapis, Peridot, Pacifica, Wendy, Soos, and McGucket in charge of protecting the town in their stead (Adventures in Light Distortion/The B Team)

The Pines and the Gems arrive at the human zoo; while the Gems distract Holly Blue Agate, Ford searches the facility on his own and the kids are dragged into the zoo, where they rescue Stan and Greg (Gem Heist)

Amethyst befriends the facitlity's other Amethysts, the kids, Stan, and Ford witness as Yellow Diamond confronts a mourning Blue Diamond; Yellow Diamond devises a plan to abduct more humans from the Earth, both to appease Blue and for the sake of her human bioweapon operation; the Pines and the Gems successfully escape the human zoo and head back to Earth (That Will Be All)

Season 3 - Mid- Late June

Soos and Melody get married (Tie the Knot)

Steven and Dipper fuse into Stepper to investigate another one of Rose's secrets (Alternate Ending)

Navy returns to Earth posing as a defector; in the end, she ends up stealing the Roaming Eye and retreating back to space to rescue the other scattered members of the Ruby Squad (Room for Ruby)

Aquamarine and Topaz arrive on Earth and begin abducting humans under Yellow Diamond's orders

The kids go on a stakeout with Doug (Doug Out)

Stan and Ford are confronted by Aquamarine and Topaz, who captures Ford, leaving Stan to inform the others about other townsfolk being captured (Brotherly Shove)

The kids and the Gems confront Aquamarine and Topaz; Connie is captured while Dipper hands himself over, hoping to save the others and figure out their plan (Are You My Dad)

While Dipper's plan briefly succeeds, Aquamarine and Topaz recapture him, Connie and Ford; the Gems, Steven, Mabel, and Stan arrive to rescue them, discovering their true purpose in coming to Earth; to save his friends, Steven claims to be Rose Quartz and turns himself in; Dipper and Mabel force him to fuse with them so they can tag along with him as they depart for Homeworld (I Am My Mom)

The kids arrive on Homeworld, where they are put on trial by Blue and Yellow Diamond; while Blue focuses on Rose Quartz's crimes, Yellow demands justice against all the kids for her defeat during Weirdmageddon the previous year; during the trial, the kids realize Rose may not be responsible for Pink's shattering; the kids attempt to escape on Blue's palanquin, but Dipper stays behind to ensure Steven ad Mabel can get away (The Trial)

Though Yellow promises Blue that she'll send Dipper to the human zoo, she instead imprisons him with the intent of using him as a subject in her human bioweapon project

Steven and Mabel fuse into Maven, escaping from shattering robinoids alongside a group of Off-Colors; during their attempt to steal a ship to escape, they are confronted by Emerald; ultimately, the Off Colors and Maven escape Homeworld on separate ships (Wanted)

Season 4 - Early July

Steven and Mabel return to Earth without Dipper; the Pines and the Gems immediately begin plotting on how to get him back from Homeworld; angry with Steven for what just happened, Connie breaks up with him (Within Without)

After being interrogated on "Rose Quartz" by Yellow Diamond, Dipper's left arm is cut off by Squaridot and her fellow engineers, officially beginning the "process" as he is placed under Hessonite's watch and into Amber's care

Tensions continue to rise between Stan and Ford and the Gems as Greg brings everyone along on a brief vacation to help everyone reset; Mabel and Steven have a brief falling out (Gemcation)

The Gems and the Pines begin repairing the damaged ship Maven used to return to earth in the hopes of using it to rescue Dipper

Yellow Diamond attempts to condition Dipper into serving her, but her efforts are resisted, forcing her to more extreme measures; during this time, Dipper and Amber begin to bond

Kevin invites Stevonnie, Maven, and Stepper to his party, but only Steven, Mabel, and Connie go; Mabel briefly reunites with Gabe Bensen and harshly refutes his advances toward her; Steven and Connie reconcile and get back together (Kevin Party)

Dipper's attempts at escaping Homeworld are thwarted by Hessonite

Noticing Yellow's frustration with Dipper's resistance, Bill intervenes, offering his assistance; they are both confronted by White, who also wants a piece of this plan and advises Yellow to use the Diamond's Aria as a control method; she also strongarms Bill into assisting (by invading Dipper's dreams) by promising (spoiler)

Under these new intensive methods, Dipper slowly begins to break as his resistance falls apart

Allison and Aaron file for divorce back in Piedmont

Mabel takes over writing in Dipper's journal, hoping to use it to fill him in on all that he's missed while on Homeworld once they get him back (Rainbow-Colored Recap)

With Amber's assistance, Dipper records a farewell message for his friends and family back on Earth

Unable to resist any longer, Dipper succumbs to the conditioning forced upon him by Yellow Diamond and becomes "Stonemason"; he is outfitted with a shapeshifting metallic arm and is sent to hunt down "Rose Quartz" and capture or shatter her

Work on the repaired ship is finished and, unable to wait any longer, Steven, Mabel, and Connie sneak off on it to try and rescue Dipper on their own; the untested ship ends up crashing on an alien moon (Spaced Out)

While on the Jungle Moon, Steven and Connie are separated from Mabel; Stevonnie has dreams about Pink Diamond's past; Mabel is encountered by Stonemason, who briefly uses her as a hostage until she is rescued by Stevonnie; the kids narrowly manage to escape on their damaged ship, which barely makes it back to Earth  in one piece (Jungle Moon)

Work on the ship is forced to begin again as Steven, Connie, and Mabel all struggle to cope with the idea that they may never see Dipper again (Mindless Education)

Stonemason arrives on Earth and begins hunting "Rose"; he confronts the Pines and Gems, who initially believe him to be a Gem sent from Homeworld (The Assassin)

Mabonnven ends up unmasking Stonemason, revealing his true identity as Dipper; despite attempts to get through to him, Stonemason continues in his mission to capture/shatter Steven; the Gems and the Pines begin plotting how to free Dipper from Yellow Diamond's control (The Mask)

Season 5 - Mid July

Stonemason continues attacking the Pines and the Gems; Steven and Pacifica (spoilers) (Deep Cut)

After several more encounters with the Pines and the Gems, Stonemason begins to doubt his mission and questions his identity; those questions are quelled when Yellow uses the Diamond's Aria to condition him again (Lullaby)

Yellow Diamond commands Stonemason to attack Gravity Falls in order to lure "Rose" out; he does so, damaging much of the town and harming several civilians (Crash and Burn)

Maven goes off alone to search for Stonemason; upon finding him, they manage to briefly break through to Dipper, only for Stonemason to forcefully suppress him once more (Forever Together)

The Pines and the Gems receive Dipper's supposedly final message to them and are inspired to continue looking for a way to save him (A Final Farewell)

Steven goes into Stonemason's mindscape and finds Dipper, trapped and slowly fading away altogether; while in the dreamscape, Steven is briefly encountered by Bill, who offers to set (spoilers) (Hide and Seek)

After several violent encounters, Stonemason is captured by the Gems and the Pines; Steven, Mabel, and Connie enter his mind in a last-ditch effort to return Dipper to normal (Find the Key)

The group is confronted by Stonemason, and a fight ensues, but just before they're defeated, Dipper breaks free and defeats Stonemason, finally reclaiming control over his mind and body (Break the Chain)

Season 6 - Mid - Late July

After returning to his sound mind, Dipper struggles to recover physically and mentally from what happened to him on Homeworld (Yes, My Diamond)

Dipper is met with resistance and anger when trying to reintegrate himself into Gravity Falls as a result of the destruction Stonemason caused; Gideon defends him and convinces (most) of the townsfolk to calm down; Dipper discovers Stonemason is still present inside of his mind, communicating with him frequently (The Golden Rule)

Dipper and Pacifica reconnect following Dipper's absence (Shelter from the Storm)

The Off Colors arrive on Earth and start to settle in the forest of Gravity Falls; Garnet tells the Off Colors the origins of Rose Quartz and the Rebellion (Your Mother and Mine)

Garnet has a brief crisis over her future vision missing significant events; she adopts a one-eyed kitten and names it "Cat Steven" (Pool Hopping)

Lapis leaves Earth once again and takes the Barn, not wanting to get caught in the middle of another war with the Diamonds; she nearly takes Dipper with her, but ultimately ends up leaving him behind, despite his pleas to escape from Yellow's range (Raising the Barn)

Dipper discovers and tames a dragowl, which he names Luna; Stan and Ford defend Dipper against Weidmann and several still-angry townsfolk; Steven, Mabel, Peridot, Amethyst, and Soos attempt to bring some life back to the Kingdergarten (How to Train Your Dragowl)

Hessonite and Squaridot on Earth, reclaiming the Light Prism while also reawakening Stonemason, forcing him back into obedience under her; Squaridot is poofed and bubbled; the Pines and Gems confront Hessonite and rescue the prism and Dipper, forcing Hessonite to retreat back to Homeworld (Save the Light)

The term behind Bill's deal with the Diamonds changes, as Yellow demands Stonemason is returned while White wants "Pink" back in person as opposed to merely her gem; increasingly desperate to reclaim his lost power, Bill agrees, planning (spoilers)

Steven turns 15; Bill return and strikes a deal with a guilt-ridden Steven to (spoilers) (Knock, Knock)

Dipper discovers Bill's plans and (spoilers) (Alone Forever)

In retaliation, Bill drags Stepper into the mindscape and reveals his history and his relationship with Rose to him; Stepper doubts whether his claims are true (Golden Petals)

Stepper (spoilers) ; infuriated by his continued failures, the Diamonds officially cut their ties with Bill as Blue and Yellow prepare to travel to Earth themselves (Dimensional Duel)

Season 7: Early - Mid August

Sometime during this period, Allison and Aaron's divorce is finalized

Driven to near madness, Weidmann launches a full-scale attack against the Pines and the Gems, who ultimately drive him out of town once and for all (The Hunter and the Hunted)

The kids discover Lapis has taken refuge on the moon; she refuses to return with them, further fleeing into space after Steven has another dream about Pink Diamond (Can't Go Back)

Steven goes inside Pearl to find her phone and discovers that Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond, which shocks Garnet and Amethyst, and the Pines (A Single Pale Rose)

Garnet unfuses and Sapphire becomes mad at Ruby, believing that Rose Quartz lied to them and leaves, upset; Dipper also leaves, outraged that all of the torture he was put through was essentially for nothing; Steven, Pearl, Stan, and Ford check on Sapphire and Pearl tells Steven and Sapphire the story of how Pink Diamond became Rose Quartz; she also reveals the original deal Rose/Pink made with Bill, making Steven wonder if Rose really was involved with Bill romantically after all (Now We're Only Falling Apart)

Upset by the uselessness of their shared suffering, Dipper and Stonemason reach an agreement that they will work in conjunction with one another towards the eventual goal of shattering Yellow Diamond as revenge (Reconnect the Chain)

The kids find Ruby, who eventually returns and proposes to Sapphire (The Question)

The Pines and the Gems begin preparing for Ruby and Sapphire's wedding; Steven asks Bismuth to be the maid of honor, officially reintegrating her back into the Crystal Gems and (spoilers) (Made of Honor)

Ruby and Sapphire marry and re-fuse into Garnet; Yellow and Blue arrive on Earth and attempt to unleash the Cluster, which partially emerges and fights back against them; the Pines and the Gems confront Yellow and Blue; Lapis returns to Earth and joins the fight; Steven reveals that Rose was Pink Diamond to them (Reunited)

Steven implores Blue and Yellow to heal the corrupted Gems, which they can't do without White; the gang uncovers Pink's leg ship in the desert and the Pines and the Gems travel to Homeworld alongside the Diamonds; White "welcomes" Steven to Homeworld (Legs from Here to Homeworld)

While Steven tries to reach out to the Diamonds for their help, Dipper (and Stonemason) reel from flashbacks from his time on Homeworld; Dipper reunites with Amber as he and Stonemason continue plotting against Yellow (Familiar)

Steven throws a ball for the Diamonds, which celebrates the start of Era 3; upset that White didn't attend in person, the kids fuse into Stonipbel, enraging Blue and Yellow, who poof the Crystal Gems and imprison Stonipbel in Pink's old tower; Steven uses a watermelon Steven to contact Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot for help, meanwhile Dipper escapes the tower, claiming to go get help from Stan and Ford (Together Alone)

Dipper and Stonemason confront Yellow, who tries to get them back under her control, though the song doesn't work this time; they fight her, attempting to shatter her as revenge for what she did to them; meanwhile, Steven, Connie, Mabel, Stan and Ford persuade Blue to release them; while Blue and Yellow get into a fight over Steven, Steven and Dipper fight over his revenge plan; ultimately, Steven convinces Dipper to give it up while Blue convinces Yellow to help the Gems and the Pines; Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot arrive to help, but White takes control of all of the Diamond's ships, as well as Blue and Yellow, refusing to listen to reason (Battle of Heart and Mind)

Steven fuses with Pearl to form Rainbow Quartz 2.0, he also fuses with Garnet to form Sunstone, and with all three of the Gems to form Obsidian as everyone attacks the Diamond's ships; the Gems and the kids enter White's ship, but the Gems are taken over by White as is (spoiler); White removes Steven's gemstone (which Bill is present to watch), but instead of reforming as Rose or Pink, it reforms into a pink version of Steven; Steven reunites with his gem half and confronts White, forcing her to realize her own imperfections for the first time (Change Your Mind)

Season 8 - Late August

The Gems and the Pines return to Earth with the Diamonds, who begin healing the corrupted Gems (including Jasper); the Gem empire begins to dismantle, allowing Gemkind to live freely; plans for a "Little Homeworld" on Earth new Gravity Falls get underway (A New Era)

Allison and Aaron both arrive in Gravity Falls, discovering everything Dipper and Mabel have been through and revealing their divorce to the younger twins; though they attempt to separate them and take them back home, they're met with swift resistance from Stan, Ford, and the Gems; as a result, the Pines parents are forced to stay in Gravity Falls longer than anticipated (Meet the Pines)

The Pines and the Gems confront Era 3 anarchists Demantoid and Pyrope with help from a reformed Hessonite (Unleash the Light)

Dipper begins looking for ways to free Stonemason from his mind and help him become his own individual person (Without Within)

The Axolotl (spoilers); meanwhile Aaron, desperate to bring his family back together, (spoilers) (The One Who Watches)

(spoilers) sets the Mystery Shack on fire; the Pines narrowly escape with help from the Gems and together,(spoilers) (Ursa Minor)

(Spoilers) Stonipbel, Alexandrite, and Stan and Ford all confront Bill together (Ursa Major)

With help from the Axolotl, (spoilers) (Polaris)

Aaron makes a stand against Allison, deciding to file for custody of both Dipper and Mabel so they can stay in Gravity Falls full time; work begins on rebuilding the Mystery Shack as work on Little Homeworld also properly begins (Mystery and Magic)

Dipper and Mabel turn 14; Now together full-time, the kids reaffirm their bonds as they look toward a bright future together (Encore)

Between Stories

Late 2013

Dipper and Mabel start high school in Gravity Falls alongside Connie and Pacifica

Aaron's custody appeal goes through and he gains full custody of the twins; he officially moves in with his uncles and his kids in Gravity Falls

The Mystery Shack is rebuilt; the temple house is also renovated during this time

Stonemason decides to live in the woods but still maintains regular contact with the Gems; likewise, Jasper moves into the woods of Gravity Falls

2014

Steven continues working alongside the Diamonds to dismantle the empire; Gems are allowed to express themselves freely and many of them start moving to Earth, settling into Little Homeworld

Steven turns 16

Dipper, Mabel, Connie and Pacifica turn 15

Universe Falls Future

Spring 2015

Steven and the Diamonds make an announcement to all former Gem colonies, explaining what happened to Pink and that all Gems are now free under the new system; Steven returns to Earth for a long break alongside his friends (Happily Ever After)

Spinel hears Steven's message and, infuriated by Pink's betrayal, arrives on Earth, intending to destroy it; she uses a rejuvenator against Steven and the Gems, before Steven uses it on her, poofing all of them except for Steven (Other Friends)

The Crystal Gems and Spinel reform with their memories wiped while Steven discovers he has lost most of his powers; the Pines attempt to help them restore their lost memories but are unsuccessful (Your New Best Friend)

After Ruby and Sapphire reform Garnet, Steven and Stan help Amethyst recover her memories (No Matter What)

After Ford's attempt to help Pearl fall through, Steven and Greg form Steg for the first time, helping Pearl recover her memories (Independent Together)

Spinel's past is revealed as she regains her memories; Steven and the twins convince her to come to Earth to help them (Drift Away)

 Though Spinel briefly calls off her injector, though her anger is soon stoked against them again as she uses it to damage much of Gravity Falls; Garnet recovers her memories as the Pines and the Gems work together to protect the town (True Kinda Love)

Steven confronts Spinel, regaining his powers in the process; Spinel's injector is destroyed and she is defeated (Change)

The Diamonds arrive on Earth and invite Spinel to live with them; she accepts as the Gems and the Pines begin working to repair Gravity Falls from the damage done to it by the injector (Found)

Summer 2015

Work on Little Homeworld is completed; Gemkind begins interacting with the magical creatures of Gravity Fall (Gems in the Woods)

Allison returns to Gravity Falls, trying to get Dipper and Mabel back onto her side, but fails as the twins finally confront her for her failures as a mother (Mother Knows Best)

Little Homeschool is established to help Gems adjust to life on Earth

Steven discovers Jasper living in the woods, but upon failing to convince her to come to Little Homeschool, he discovers a destructive new power (Little Homeschool)

The recently-healed Tiger's Eye falls for both Stan and Ford; after a number of misunderstandings, she realizes they aren't interesting and becomes friends with them instead (Crushed)

Steven and the twins attempt to get Gems out of their comfort zones by giving them jobs they're ill-suited for, despite Amethyst and Stan warning them against it (Guidance)

The kids hear from the Axolotl, who informs them how their interdimensional counterparts are doing across multiple dimensions (Interdimensional Pen Pals)

Amber moves to Little Homeworld, but struggles to fit in with recently healed Era 1 Ambers, despite Steven and Dipper's help; she ends up bonding with Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth instead and officially joins the Crystal Gem (Sunshine Gem)

The Zoomans, now in control of the human zoo, arrive on Earth with a handful of unbubbled Rose Quartzes; the Pines and the Gems awkwardly befriend them, still haunted by Rose's past (Rose Buds)

Sphene arrives on Earth and encounters Maven, inspired by their sense of fashion as they roll out a new fashion style for Gems living on Earth (Fashion Maven)

Dipper founds Pines Productions and begins his online documentary series "Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained", showcasing the oddities of Gravity Falls; it quickly gains popularity (Pines Productions)

Steven turns 17

Dipper, Mabel, Connie, and Pacifica turn 16

Fall 2015

Steven fails to heal Pink Pearl's injury, and upon traveling to the Reef, learns that Pink Diamond was responsible for it; Pearl and Pink Pearl fuse into Mega Pearl to rescue the kids and Ford (Volleyball)

Stepper fuses with Stonemason into "Stepping Stone" (Stepping Stone)

Bluebird Azurite, a fusion of Aquamarine and Eyeball, shows up and attempts to show she's turned over a new leaf, before turning on the kids, attacking them; upon being defeated by Alexandrite, Aquamarine and Eyeball flee (Bluebird)

Steven recruits Pacifica, Gideon, and Peridot in trying to get Jasper to turn over a new leaf, but their attempts at convincing her are met with resistance (Redemption Squad)

Aaron meets Dipevebel; Convenper teaches self-defense to magical creatures; Mabonnven hosts a Halloween party in Little Homeworld (Trifusion Traditions)

Winter 2015

Steven, Dipper, and Lapis travel to a distant planet, where they meat Nice and Mean Lapis, who both want to continue terraforming planets; Nice Lapis is convinced to come to Little Homeworld by Lapis (Why So Blue)

The Gems recruit Dipper and Mabel to join them against Steven in a round of "Steven Tag" (Snow Day)

Winter 2016

The kids are cursed to share each other's pain after finding an ancient artifact in the woods; they reach out to Blue Diamond for help but ultimately have to work out issues with each other to break the curse (Sharing is Caring)

A graduation ceremony is held for Gems in Little Homeworld, though Steven soon realizes that his friends may be starting to move on without him, kickstarting (spoilers) (Little Graduation)

Spring 2016

Mabel is offered an internship at a prestigious art program in New York, which she accepts upon encouragement from Dipper; Steven, however, is upset when he realizes their group will be torn apart (Artistically Challenged)

Steven takes up gardening, accidentally bringing a cactus to life that he vents his frustrations to; after the cactus turns into monster, the Gems confront it, but it is ultimately allowed to leave as Steven apologizes to it (Prickly Pair)

Steven's nightmares have him fearing that Bill isn't really gone; Dipper and Ford take it upon themselves to convince him that he's truly gone, but they have to confront Rose's past with Bill in the process (Equilateral)

The kids go roller skating with Bismuth and Pearl; Stevonnie wins a skating contest after Steven awkwardly meets Connie's other friends; Dipper and Pacifica plan to travel together during the summer (Bismuth Casual)

After learning Connie will also be leaving for the summer to tour colleges, Steven's (spoilers) , it's discovered by Stonemason, who agrees to keep it a secret from the others (Upheaval)

Desperate to keep his friends together, Steven tries to convince Connie, Dipper, and Mabel to stay in Gravity Falls with him:

Using the events of RMD as a jumping off point, Steven attempts to guilt trip Dipper into fusing with him, only to result in a falling out between the two (Never Alone)

Steven confesses he does have feelings for Mabel after all, but, upset by how late he is about it, she rebuffs him (Never Forever)

Steven tries to propose to Connie so they can stay together as Stevonnie forever, but she gently turns him down (Never Alone)

As Steven's powers and his corruption worsens, he visits Dr. Maheswaran, who helps him confront the trauma he went through when he was younger; Connie convinces Dipper and Mabel to make amends with Steven, but things are still not entirely repaired between them (Growing Pains)

Greg takes Steven on a road trip, where he learns more about his father's side of the family; upon learning that his father and mother have too much in common, Steven angrily destroys Greg's van (Mr. Universe)

Stan attempts to cheer Steven out by taking him along for a Revenge Trip, only for the two of them to wind up in jail; (spoilers) they're bailed out by Greg (The Stan with a Plan)

(spoilers) Steven runs away from home, but Dipper follows him; in a blind rage, Steven destroys Dipper's metallic arm and flees before Stonemason finds Dipper and takes him back to the Pines (Night Shift)

Steven seeks out Jasper's help in controlling his powers, but he ends up shattering her; he returns home to heal her as she vows her loyalty to him; Dipper realizes he'll have to go to Yellow Diamond to repair his arm and Stonemason agrees to go with him (Fragments)

Steven flees to Homeworld, seeking help from the Diamonds; Steven nearly shatters White after taking control of her and quickly flees as his corruption continues to become more apparent; Yellow Diamond repairs Dippers arm and attempts to reconcile with him and Stonemason but she's rebuffed; upon realizing that Steven was there and that he's still in trouble, Dipper and Stonemason prepare to return to Earth alongside the Diamonds (Homeworld Bound)

Steven temporarily (spoilers) by shifting into a more "perfect" form; he desperately tries helping out around Little Homeworld but only ends up causing damage; when the Gems and the Pines attempt an intervention, Steven breaks down (spoilers) turning into a massive monster (Everything's Fine)

Lost to his corruption, Steven begins a blind rampage through Gravity Falls; the Diamonds arrive on Earth alongside Dipper and Stonemason, and they join the Pines and the Gems in trying to calm Steven down; Connie, Dipper, and Mabel show their unconditional love for Steven, finally returning him to normal (I Am My Monster)

Summer 2016

Steven begins to heal from his meltdown over the next several weeks with the help of his family, friends, and therapist

Mabel leaves Gravity Falls, heading to New York for her summer internship

Connie sets out with her parents to begin touring colleges across the country

Stan and Ford return to sailing, searching the sea for more anomalies

Dipper and Pacifica set out on their summer travels the same night Steven leaves Gravity Falls to travel the country on his own in order to discover himself (Facing the Future)

Post-Canon

Summer 2016

The kids reunite with each other and with the Gems several times throughout the summer

Steven turns 18

Dipper, Mabel, Connie, and Pacifica turn 17

Late 2016

The kids eventually all reunite in Gravity Falls as a new school year begins

Spring 2017

Dipper, Mabel, Connie, and Pacifica graduate from high school; Connie moves onto college while Mabel enters an art program in New York; Dipper and Pacifica go to a local college together and move in together at the shack

Stan and Ford return from their adventures and settle back into Gravity Falls, both of them officially retiring

~2022

Dipper and Pacifica get married

~2023

Steven and Connie get married

Lisa Universe is born to Steven and Connie Universe

2025

Twins Avery and Abigail Pines are born to Dipper and Pacifica Pines

2027

Comet Universe is born to Steven and Connie Universe

2029

Tyrone Pines is born to Mabel Pines

2030

Rebecca Universe is born to Steven and Connie Universe

2035

Alexander Pines is born to Dipper and Pacifica Pines

[metamorphesque]

imo i don't think we live in a time without true artists, i think that the way a true artist is able to express themselves in a meaningful way has changed dramatically.

and that it quite often overlaps with entertainment.

we're no longer in a world where we as a race have the time or the means to luxuriate on art like the long-ago past, or even as recently as 100 years ago. our mozarts, our bacchiaccas, our platos, our bashos, our michaelangelos, our vivaldis, our sapphos - they are out there right now, but they aren't going to be recognized the way we're used to.

the vast majority of those the world reveres are true artists come from times when the global population was in the millions, not billions. a radical voice will easily stand out in a village of hundreds or thousands. a radical idea will catch on in a small community. once upon a time, these people were legitimate threats to those in power because it wasn't all too difficult to tip the scales of power.

even the artists of the more modern world, within the last century, are from a very distinct *before* time. before globalization, before the population skyrocketed at rates never recorded in human history, before digitization was integrated into every tiny aspect of our lives, before we discovered the means to destroy ourselves a hundred times over and then some, before the heavens and stars were a tangible destination, before american branded capitalism ruled the world, before everything was immediate and always on, before every second of every day belonged to everyone except you.

literacy and attention spans are in a nosedive, the world is on a perpetual edge of plunging into another global war, and we are at every hour of the day and night blasted with the worst news - and every day is more horrible than the next. we're living through catastrophes that, in ancient days, would have signaled the end of the world because a handful of horrible unfathomably wealthy individuals are killing the planet. we are not lacking true artists by any means, but we're lacking ways for their work to make waves in the kind of world we live in today, which is so extremely hostile to the artist but even more hostile to the people meant to perceive them. about one of the only surefire ways will be through some form of entertainment, as that's about the only thing that capture's humanity's attention and will be seen and heard and absorbed, will be archived and studied.

it's going to take a lot more scrutiny than before to find them, but they are out there right now. i promise you. they may not even be recognized til after their deaths, but their mark will be left and felt. i've seen it, i've heard it, i've felt it. they're among us, all over the world. never stop looking for them.

Before anything else, I want to thank you for engaging with my previous answer. I have to say I love conversations like this — they’re truly engaging and stimulating! I also want to express my admiration for the ways you phrased your thoughts; your "ask" was a real pleasure to read.

Now, to the point: while I agree with much of what you’ve said — particularly about the state of the world and the fact that true artists do still exist, even if they’re harder to find — there are two key points where our opinions diverge.

You mention that [we are not lacking true artists by any means, but we're lacking ways for their work to make waves in the kind of world we live in today, which is so extremely hostile to the artist but even more hostile to the people meant to perceive them. about one of the only surefire ways will be through some form of entertainment, as that's about the only thing that capture's humanity's attention and will be seen and heard and absorbed, will be archived and studied.]

Let's follow the logic that in order to be perceived by society nowadays, art must be, in one way or another, diluted or transformed to align with society’s decreasing attention span or capacity for introspection. Doesn't it sound like "a quiet drift away from True Art" or "a fade into the shadows of entertainment"? Let's add arbitrary numbers to make everything more tangible. If we allow art to be diluted by 25% to fit within the entertainment industry's framework, what will happen if in future audience engagement continues to decline? Will art need to simplify itself to 50% or 75%? At what point does it cease to be considered art altogether? If art continues to compromise to meet audience expectations and preferences, we risk erasing its ability to change and transform altogether. By conforming to lower expectations, we’re not just diluting art — we’re also diluting the potential for critical thinking, intellectual growth, emotional depth and personal introspection. The danger in following this path is that we make art indistinguishable from entertainment, stripping it of the very qualities that give it meaning. It will be a descent, through artistic mediocracy, to artlessness.

Another issue I have with the argument that art can only make waves through entertainment is that it shifts the responsibility away from the people who engage with the said art. Great art has never been a passive experience. It has always required effort from its audience — as it should. To say that art must be entertaining in order to capture attention or be archived is to suggest that people are incapable of rising to the challenge that true art presents. It’s a way of excusing people from engaging with complex or challenging ideas. But true art thrives on this complexity. It’s not meant to spoon-feed us palatable truths, not in a world like this. It’s meant to demand something from us — our attention, our introspection, our willingness to be uncomfortable. By framing art as something that needs to conform to entertainment, we are letting the public off the hook. Art should demand more from its audience, and the audience should demand more from themselves.

[xenocorner]

Here's the concept for one of my Strange AUs :D This has been sitting on my WIPs for months now, and today I finally decided to get it out :']

Info dump of this AU ahead for anyone interested, because I need to get it out of my system orz close ups below too

In this a AU, Stephen is raised in Asgard after his home planet (not Earth) is destroyed during a terrible war. Here, Donna is his older sister instead, and she was one of the soldiers who fought and died in said war (the sword he carries was hers).

He was taken in by the Asgardian army when he was around 6, and was raised collectively by them as part of the ranks. He is trained as a swordsman and excels at it.

He meets both Thor and Loki at that young age, and he develops a very close friendship with Loki, both of them growing up together and getting in all kinds of trouble (although Stephen was usually the one to get them out of it). But not all is fun and games with this two, as Stephen also becomes the person Loki confides the most in and viceversa. As they grow, this often leads to Odin sending Stephen to look for Loki whenever the god disappears after a family fight.

He becomes one of the best swordsmen in the 9 realms, and takes command of the Asgardian army when his mentor, the Ancient One (a commander in this AU) dies in battle.

During a battle in which he was perhaps too careless and cocky, he is gravely injured and his hands are irreparably damaged, leaving him unable to wield a sword.

Stephen has incredibly deep self worth issues, and since he isn't Asgardian by birth and also feels incredible debt to Asgard for taking him in when he was all alone, he is always trying to prove himself of his worth to be called Asgardian. So when he is left useless as a swordsman, he goes into a really dark place. This leads him to study magic instead, trying to still be of use to the throne and able to protect Asgard. He pulls through, and with a similar journey of the MCU Stephen, becomes one of the most proficient sorcerers of Asgard. That along with his previously good reputation with Odin grants him the position of Head Sorcerer in the court.

Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of distancing himself from Loki, being too focused on proving himself since the loss of his hand function. Of course, the god is resentful of this. They go through some shit to salvage the friendship and maybe even make it evolve into something more, but I won't go into that now as this lore dump rambling is already way too long lmao.

Also, he may or may not be part of a race that uses music as magic to affect the world around them too, but that's just deeper lore stuff 👀

Close ups to the head shots because I just adore how much softer and elegant he looks with the wavy hair, tiara thing and earring orz I want to do a better render of him like this so bad-

Plus the full body on its own too :] I would've loved to polish it more but I've got more stuff to do and just needed to get it out of my WIPs already o(-(

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

Sending in this ask to say !! I would LOVE to read a ramble about the Polyverse plot and I am prompting you to use this ask to ramble /nf

FNF Polyverse plot is very convoluted because as I've said before. It's an RP run by like 7-8 people and we don't stop eachother from indulging. But I suppose I can explain it >>;

Ramble under the cut!

Our story begins YEARS before the actual events of FNF take place. On a computer owned by a really talented coder we named Admin for short. Admin is really good at what they do- they even made their own firewall.

What they didn't realize was the firewall was so well made it was actually Sentient.

Admin for unknown reasons, abandoned their dream of being a coder for a really long time, leaving their sentient firewall all on its own, and it gets really really lonely- deciding to act on its own according. It catches a virus- but instead of getting rid of it, it let's the virus stay- and eventually through contact to the firewall, the virus also gains sentience.

These two are Chaos and Order. The Virus and The Firewall.

Together, the two of them used the code leftover on the computer to make their OWN world. A game world. Their own personal Earth. On this Earth, they made a race of beings called The Ancients who had the ability to change their appearance by will alone. They were shape shifters! And for a awhile things were great.

Until The Ancient Civil War.

Half of The Ancients so closely followed Order's teachings of law and right and wrong that they thought the whole of earth should value Order more, the other half saw Chaos' teachings of self control and freedom as more important, and when their wills so strongly aligned, they would shift to look like Angel and Demons respectively.

Despite Chaos and Orders pleas, Angels and Demons fought long and hard- they killed eachother- destroyed the earth in the process. Till eventually the sides realized they were at a stalemate. Angels and Demons chose to flee- with EVERY Angel fleeing to a plane above Earth they created called Heaven and with MOST of the Demons fleeing to a plane far below it, called Hell.

The Ancient Civil War was put on hold- and while the two sides were away, Chaos and Order began to put earth back together. This time with more species and varying beliefs. Humans- robots- ectect. The demons were still there because of their whole "freewill" thing but it wasn't an issue without The Angels.

This is obviously where a lot of the plot splits off, as with more creations and the earth fully healed up like this, it's obviously where different arcs come into play with the other people RPing. However my arc was BFs.

The Angel's were PISSED that the demons were still occupying earth. They felt as though the stalemate wasn't really a stalemate and vowed to destroy them all- however how to do that? How to break a stalemate with a creature that's biologicaly as strong as you? New weapons.

So a good half of the angels gave up their form to create this giant biblically accurate angel toothpaste lookin ass glob of power named The Collective - in order to CONDENSE huge peices of their code to make more powerful bio weapons.

The first three failed as you might have guessed- the 5th was SO perfect, their PERFECT Hero, that they stuffed the 4th one that was being made along side him into a robot body to go down to earth with him.

This as might have guessed, was BF. or Keith as we call him.

Keith is the Angel's perfect angelic bio weapon, destined to be sent to earth to grow up and then slaughter everyone on earth the Angel's deem unworthy to be there.

But while Miku is off getting money to keep the two of them fed and happy as her programming is designed to do- Bf falls in love. With a lot of people. A Demon girl named Lucy, Aka Gf, who the collective would obviously not approve of as a demon, A flawed murderous man by the name of Pico, who's acts of violence outweigh many of his good deeds, and a Ghost/Demon hybrid named Eric who had been stuck in a video game for so long he honestly is an abomination.

But BF LOVED them. For their flaws. For their personality. Every part of them was something he cherished. So when Miku brought him to The Collective to explain his purpose, he turned them down. Refusing to be Their Hero. Insisting that Demons and Angels didn't have to fight like this.

But The Collective had been stuck together for so long that it corrupted them- they had no room to doubt their choices and ended up chasing BF and his partners out of heaven in this epic violent chase sequence- where it then tripped, and fell off the side of the plane. Falling deep into the code when Chaos and Order dismantled it.

Leaving the 4 Poly pals to love eachother on Earth among the other angels and demons who changed their minds.

All of that though is BFs arc! There's a few other arcs like how Skid and his dad The Eyes of The Universe needed to make up in order to stop Eyes from dismantling the whole code of the game- which is how we have so many duplicate modes characters like the remixs and aus, because Polyverse is technically filled with a bunch of Holes from The Eyes. And the Eddsworld arc where BF helped Tord reconnect with his friends. The Omori arcs where he got new siblings who adopted him from the crew of FNF characters. Ectect.

We did a lot. We're technically still doing things. That's how Silly Billy/Yourself was added recently. Every new mod is a new addition to Polyverse! ^^

[physalian]

On Writing a Compelling Fetch Quest, as told by TFP

Save for a single recap episode, season two of Transformers Prime is one long high-octane fetch quest, gunning for weapons and tools and eventually the keys to restoring Cybertron.

See this post where I’ve already gushed about this show but I just rewatched season 2 and it does absolutely everything right when so much of the tension could just come from the macguffin of the week.

Full Spoilers Ahead.

—

Season 2 begins with an amnesiac Optimus convinced he’s still best buds with “Megatronus” and that he’s still Orion Pax, factory reset to before he became a Prime with no knowledge of the war or Autobots or Decepticons. In this version of the lore, he was an archivist, the skills of which come into great use as he can decode ancient encryptions that Megatron’s had sitting locked in a vault and unable to crack for, seemingly, eons—unknowingly helping the enemy murder all his friends.

The information contained in this “Iacon Database” prompts the fetch quest that takes up the entire season. After the three part season debut (6 part if you count the 3 part season 1 finale as one long movie) where Team Prime ventures on their own fetch quest to restore Optimus’s memories, the board is nearly set. But first, a couple other episodes catching up with C-tier villains and bringing in some shiny new characters.

In these episodes, Megatron’s second-in-command, Starscream, who’s been rogue for quite some time, loses his ability to transform after trying to screw over Bumblebee. A “loose cannon” for Team Prime returns not quite as a main character, but more present than his lone episode in season 1, and Starscream’s replacement, Dreadwing, makes his debut. And, the other rogue character, Airachnid, is temporarily disposed of.

The board is now set: Autobots, Decepticons, and Starscream.

We begin at episode 11, where Megatron decides it’s a grand idea to infect his ship with zombie fuel to speed up some repairs, and the ship gains a life of its own, decoding the rest of the Iacon Database that Optimus left sitting behind, a job left to a different ‘Con, Soundwave, who’s no Optimus but doing his best. In that episode, the humans of Team Prime sneak aboard the wayward ship, steal the only four coordinates of the Fetch Quest that are available, and get the heck out of dodge.

Episodes 12-15: Four whole episodes occurring simultaneously, everyone available on both teams, every major player, Starscream included, all racing to these four locations to pick up either mystery weapons or tools of varying mass destruction. Each episode is intercut with dialogue and details from the other units, all coming to a head with the near-death of the Team Prime “Tank,” Bulkhead.

What’s in these four episodes is just a taste of the tension that the rest of the season will take on, kind of like a tournament arc pitting unlikely foes against each other over the MacGuffin of the day. My favorite is Wheeljack (robot cowboy samurai) and Ratchet (grumpy medic) vs Soundwave (aforementioned decrypter replacement who does not speak). The episode is visually gorgeous with a showdown on a cliff at sunset with the most beautiful golden hour for the fight (pictured above).

Every MacGuffin brings a new twist to the fight of their episode, of the four, 1 goes to the Bots, 1 goes to the Cons, 1 goes to Starscream, and 1 gets destroyed.

In the Wheeljack episode, Ratchet comes up with an idea to sneak a virus into Soundwave so they can steal the rest of the Iacon Database from the Cons, which proves a success.

Enter episodes 16-19, where we take a break from the pacing of the fetch quest to bring in another new character, Smokescreen, let Bulkhead heal up, let Wheeljack almost get murdered horrifically by giant bot beetles, and teach a little girl about how revenge does not bring peace. Oh and do away with the C-tier villains, they (almost) all die.

Episodes 20-23 are the last five coordinates for the quest: A fancy new sword to sell toys for Optimus in an absolutely badass episode where he cuts a whole mountain in half, and the 4 literal keys to restoring Cybertron.

The new tension comes from both making sure that Team Prime gets all four keys, and making sure that Megatron does not find out how important they are.

Team Prime gets 1, Megatron gets 1, Team Prime gets another, and then Starscream comes in out of nowhere to steal the 4th, and then sneaks into the base of Team Prime to steal the other 3.

I cannot remember the exact quote but after a yell of absolute anguish and frustration, Optimus collects himself enough to say: “The fate of our world now lies with Starscream, whatever his intention.”

Because, Starscream can’t do shit alone. He just has a very powerful bargaining tool to either buy back the Bots favor, or buy back his place with the Decepticons. Underscoring the importance of who has the keys is this: Whichever side restores Cybertron will have effectively won the war, able to then brand the other side officially as traitors, for a whole new reign of absolute authority. The stakes could not be higher.

Episode 24: The second and far superior flashback episode taking a look exclusively at Starscream’s role throughout the series and all his fabulous shenanigans, as Megatron puts him on trial to decide whether he should just kill his traitorous little SIC.

While these flashbacks are being displayed literally on a screen like they’re connected via HDMI cable, Dreadwing (Starscream’s interim replacement) finds out that not only did Starscream get his twin killed way back in season 1, but then raised his corpse and left the zombie wandering around the fifth dimension, and Megatron knew about it, and lied. (Dreadwing is a fantastic lawful evil character, this post is just ridiculously long already without giving everybody bios)

The episode ends with Dreadwing betraying his whole side to give Team Prime intel, and a magical MacGuffin hammer (that they initially lost in the earlier stages of the Fetch Quest) to level out the playing field, he then goes back to his team and monologues a bit too long before trying to kill Starscream himself (as Megatron still won’t) and gets murdered for his efforts, when he was absolutely right.

At this point, Starscream is back with the Decepticons, they have all they keys (but not yet the knowledge of how they work or where they go to), and they believe that they have a free shot to fly back to Cybertron as the Autobots don’t have any way to get there themselves.

Enter the finale: Episodes 25 and 26. We’re almost there.

The magic MacGuffin hammer Dreadwing gave the Bots can fix or craft almost anything (with limited uses) and they use it to make their wormhole portal into a much beefier version—a space bridge—to portal themselves to Cybertron with every single weapon they’ve collected over the course of the Fetch Quest in their arsenal.

This is a mission they’ll either win, or die trying, they have to steal back the keys and reach the lock before Megatron does, and Megatron just figured out where the lock is.

The Bots manage to do it all, get the keys, take out hoards of faceless minions in their way, they’re a the lock, all they have to do is turn it on.

When out of seemingly nowhere, Megatron executes his backup plan: The whole season, he’s had Soundwave quietly scoping out the Bots’ secret base, and the homes of their human allies. Due to a grave mistake on Ratchet’s part, those humans are not protected at the worst time possible, and they get kidnapped.

Megatron delivers an ultimatum: Cybertron, or three human children?

Rather controversially, Optimus chooses the children, but destroys the lock so Cybertron can’t be revived by either side.

Episode 26 then ends with the reveal that Megatron discovered the location of their base, and as they all scramble to different corners of the earth, Megatron nukes it, and Optimus with it.

—

What I think TFP does really well with the MacGuffins is that, by and large, they themselves are never the point of their episodes. The writers knew audiences wouldn’t be sated with just the objects themselves carrying the story, which is what every fetch quest story should be:

The MacGuffin itself does not mean shit to the audience, 9 times out of 10. It could be swapped out for something else and largely not impact its purpose in the story. What matters is what it means to everyone who wants it, and what they’re willing to do to get it.

In TFP's case, these MacGuffins cannot be replaced. Several show up more than once to give unique advantages to different fights or become incredibly useful 11th hour tools—the setup and payoff with them is fantastic.

Yes, some of these “relics” are dangerous weapons, but in the background of the whole season there is so much subtext. Optimus’s guilt and Megatron’s manipulations over what he did while he had no memory. Various rivalries between sides coming to a head. The Starscream wild card that continued to take everyone by surprise again and again. Optimus’s increasing impatience to finally end this war and set aside the rivalry to try and kill Megatron for real this time, several times.

Regardless of who had what item, the balance of power between both sides was shifting constantly. The Bots would get a slight advantage, and the Cons would match it immediately. The Cons would win a battle, but then infighting would cost them the next one. Optimus’s fancy sword was shattered the very next episode when Megatron made his own using a stolen hand of a dead Prime to power the magic creation hammer—a nice bit of commentary on mutually assured destruction. Megatron never would have gone that far if Optimus didn’t get his own uber powerful weapon first.

Nor was every battle over the MacGuffin-of-the-day the same. Different players, different environments, different rules at play depending on the power of the MacGuffin itself, or the ulterior motives of either side.

And there were consequences, too, as this series is pretty mature. Dreadwing dies pretty graphically, a different dead Bot gets turned into a ghoul and his (totally canon) husband loses his shit over seeing a filthy human wearing his metal skin around.

If you won’t watch this show because you think the franchise is lame, I can’t change your mind, but if ever there was an entry into the franchise that proved how good it could be—and there is a time and a place for the camp of G1—TFP would be it.

[floralcavern]

Magical Girl world lore

Teen girls gifted with Charms that give them super powers have to defend the world from an alien invasion while also fighting off a rogue magical girl.

The Uzbuis

The Uzbuis are a race of aliens from a relativity small planet several light years away. They are from a solar system with 10 planets, 4 of which are inhabited with life (their’s being one of them, of course). 

The Uzbuis wanted to travel the world and galaxies, especially since one of their neighbors, the powerful and dangerous Gevays, seemed to be rather… war hungry. 

So, the Uzbuis surf through the galaxies, the closest one that is inhabited with life being the rather early with human life, Earth. 

Two aliens, human names being Flake and Raineth, are leaders of this missions. They help humanity develop, helping build the pyramids and whatnot (wow, Ancient Aliens was right all along!)

But the two of them begin to realize that humanity is… dangerous. They come from a rather peaceful planet from a naturally mellow race, so seeing humans constantly fuck things up for themselves intimidates them. Especially since they tried exploring the galaxies because of their already violent neighbors. 

So, the rest of the research group decides to leave, thinking it’s just not worth it. However, Flake and Raineth decide to stay. 

The two use the most powerful substance they have, stardust, to forge what they believe shall help humanity. 

The Charms

These charms are to turn humans, specifically women, into super powered beings who can protect humanity. Now, they did only make 4 because they didn’t really comprehend that Earth is way bigger than their planet. And, why only women? It was actually Raineth’s idea! They saw how human women were treated by these societies and they were horrified. So, they decided to make it to where only women have the ability to use the Charms. 

There’s the Heart Charm. This grants the user laser vision and the ability to control people’s heart rates. This Charm’s failsafe is granting the holder wings to escape from dangerous situations when the user is weak. 

There’s the Diamond Charm. This grants the user light reflection and shields. This Charm’s failsafe is earthquakes to drive enemies away when the user is weak. 

There’s the Lightning Charm. This grants the user electricity and the ability to create deafening sounds. This Charm’s failsafe is attracting anything magnetic to the user to serve as shields when the user is weak.

There’s the Star Charm. This grants the user flight and explosions. This Charm’s failsafe is granting the user invisibility when the user is weak. 

And finally, there’s the Rain Charm. This grants the user water and ice manipulation. This Charm’s failsafe is shutting down any nearby enemies’ heartbeats by controlling their bloodstreams when the user is weak. 

Once the Charms are bonded to a human, it sticks with them, the Charm unable to be used by anyone else until that human is dead. 

Now, Raineth and Flake’s plan was to only offer these Charms to those who are worthy. But once humans learn about the power they hold, they try to do everything in their power to take them for themselves. At one point, the Star Charm had been taken by humans, using it to cause mass destruction and even nearly successfully taking over that side of the world. 

Once they successfully stop them and get the Charm back, Flake and Raineth realize how dangerous these charms are and that maybe humans just.. really aren’t worth it. But Raineth wants to persist, much to Flake’s dismay.��

Raineth decided to protect the Charms for the rest of their life, waiting until they finds the perfect potential users. But once humans learn that Raineth has them, they kill them to get to the charms. 

Flake, seeing them dead, slaughters this entire race. He decides ”fuck this” and goes to destroy the Charms. Now, these are made of literal stardust. So, he needed a lot of great power to do that. He stumbles across a volcano and realizes that it’s perfect!

So, he drops the Star Charm into there. And before he could destroy the others, the volcano suddenly starts becoming very active and very dangerous. He realized that if he were to drop any of the Charms in there, it would destroy the whole Earth. And, he’s tempted to do it, but knows it’s not what Raineth would want. (Yes, Flake is responsible for Yellowstone) So he decides to go into hiding, using his shapeshifting ability to hide amongst humans and live a quiet life. Since he’s from a world literal light years away, he ages much slower. And he can’t go back because his rocket rides on stardust, which he has none of. 

By the time it’s the 21st century, it’s only been a few months back on Flake’s home planet. 

Flake hacked into NASA documents to keep track of anything suspicious and when there’s signs of what is most likely Gevays coming to Earth, Flake sadly has to bring the Charms out, much to his dismay. 

Except, well… Flake is still kind of living in the past, not realizing that humanity has changed way more than he can ever realize. So, he gives the Charms to very young girls. Like, 2 in highschool and 1 in middle school. He wasn’t really used to the idea that humans live longer than their 20s.

So the Diamond Charm goes to famous model with a heart of gold, Ellery ‘Ellie’ Collins. The Lightning Charm goes to delinquent with a soft center, Kiazzu Dekker. And the Rain Charm goes to lonely and anxiety ridden River Oliveira. 

The Heart Charm? Well, it accidentally got into the hands of the wrong person, who’s using it to spread mayhem and destruction under the name Heartstopper. 

Later, an alien named Kavinnth from Flake’s planet shows up to warn him about the invasion. But, her ship was destroyed along the way, so now she’s stuck here too. 

Uzbui Race

The Uzbui race doesn’t have ‘sex’. They have no genitals and they reproduce asexually. Pronouns mean nothing to them. Flake goes by he/him because he disguised as a male centuries ago because his overall demeanor fell more into that category of stereotypes and it’s just kind of stuck now. 

But there are 3 what could be considered ‘genders’ for the Uzbui race. 

Coararams

These are the scavengers. They have retractable claws and very strong tails that they can use to hang from trees. They can also imitate noises to damn near perfection. Their roles are to gather supplies and make sure the environment is safe. They also have the ability to shapeshift. 

They tend to have scales in this color

Flake and Kavinnth are both Coararams. 

Savavs 

These are protectors. They have horns and back spikes, incredible strength and extremely strong jaws and sharp teeth. Their roles are to fight off any potential predators and threats to keep their families safe. 

They tend to have scales in this color

Evedens

These are the caregivers. They have antennae that can soothe the mind of whomever they are touching. They also are the ones who have the ability to produce food for babies. Their roles are to keep the family and home safe, taking care of children. 

They tend to have scales in this color

Raineth was an Eveden.

Now, it is very common for Uzbui’s to be polyamorous. Specifically by threes. It is part of their actual biology to be naturally inclined to mate this way. 

Flake and Raineth were the strange ones for being completely closed off for only one another.