#anchorless bodies
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mergezoszavak · 2 years ago
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ezért a pillanatért élünk, és ezért az életért szenvedünk most mindannyian
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time-is-standing · 1 year ago
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top 10 songs of august
sorry for the long wait, I actually left my job, moved hours away from the capital, moved in with my bf, started working at a new place and it was a lot. so sorry for that. because all of this going on, I didn't really have time to listen to music as much as I did before, so I'll present to you the list of my current favs - not based on the stats. we're going with our hearts today. thanks.
1. Paralellák by Plazúr, Nagy Viktor
this song is by far the first for august & spetember as well. we were so stressed while planning the move and looking for jobs, that I came up with minigames we would play during the more stressful days. one of those were "collect all the Viktors". so we looked through spotify, youtube, the whole internet to gather all the songs Viktor Nagy has collaborated on and we both instantly fell in love with this one. such a great vibe, special, unique song. I said goodbye to my colleagues with the lines "ha görbült a tér, a végtelenben találkozunk" in my head.
2. Sánta Egyensúly by PETOFI
this song. this is a masterpiece. I'm not taking any arguments, this would've been the first if I didn't count in the fact that my bf and I bonded so hard because of that song. this means so much to me. I can't even speak about how close to my heart this song sits. "háromlábú széken sánta az egyensúly. mikor dőlök már el? mikor jön az az egy, aki belém rúg?"
3. Pirkadat by Téveszme
this song actually tells a tiny story from my life, that changed every single thing in my life. there was a friend of mine, who I loved so much, that it was the most toxic thing to ever exist. me (and my issues) made it a hundred times harder to get out of that relationship but I made it out, I'm back to my old self and I'm better than ever. this makes me proud & warms my heart - while making me angry just enough to feel some things and calm down by the end of the song. "érzem nem volt hiába, bármennyire is fáj"
4. Süket füledre talál a vallomásom by PETOFI
this is the biggest masterpiece ever made in history. it's only this low on the list because I've been listening to it for more than 3 years now and I'm still obsessed. experiencing this one live was the most ecstatic feeling in the whole wide world. I screamed every word and somehow still felt like it wasn't loud enough. the singer actually looked right into my eyes and I believe saw all the pain of the world right in there because we shared a few moments together (& that's why I love smaller bands so much, they really love to see the impact they make and connect with people). he actually gave me his just opened beer he took only a few sips out of and I'm still obsessing about it.
5. Pusztulás I by PETOFI, Nagy Viktor
this song... I've said to my bf that I just hate it and cannot find a meaning behind the words on a random tuesday. by the next weekend, this was the only song I've been listening to and I somehow understood it perfectly. every single line has it's own charm & meaning and I'm loving it. (this is also one of the Viktor's that started the whole game)
6. Én már soha többet semmiért nem fogok bocsánatot kérni by Nemecsek
I love this band and don't speak enough about them. I have some other favs but this was the first Nemecsek I've ever listened to. I love how fast this song is, the beats are hyping you up so much while the lyrics are pulling you down to the bottom of a deep dark ocean... yeah, that's hungarian music for you.
7. Harag by Anchorless Bodies
oh, this one. the title means "anger" and as we all know by now, I'm the queen of anger issues. I've stopped seeing my therapist because of the move and I'm curious if any of the methods she showed me will be useful in the future for me. at least I have these songs to get me into a better mindset.
8. Bányák by PETOFI, Kovács Gábor
"lelkem bányájában te vagy a sötétség"
I love how this band mixes poetry with songwriting. this somehow lights my heart on fire. I can't seem to be able to find where exactly, but I'm headed somewhere the exact moment I hear these songs. it's almost like the words give me purpose and motivation, I just need to find where those feelings are leading me.
9. Keserédes by Téveszme
an all time fav! sad, slow, super emotional. I have an unhealthy attachment to this song and I'm always coming back to it whenever I'm in the mood for these songs. actually it's kindof comforting for me, even though it's on the sadder side.
10. Akasszátok fel a királyokat by Counter Clockwise
I don't like it that much anymore but listened to it a whole lot with my bf. it's sadly still real meaningful in our country... I don't wanna get into politics, this page is not for that but some days I'm super scared of what's about to come.
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starlightsuffered · 5 months ago
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Crazy Girls
A/N - based off the song one of those crazy girls by paramore
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Info - toxic relationship, angst, breaking and entering, obsessed reader, some mentions of sex
“Oh that’s so sweet Timothée , I agree we should slow down,” I said, plastering a smile to my face. When he said we needed to talk, I thought he was going to propose. I knew it’d only been a couple months but I was utterly enamoured with him. He was everything I wanted and things were going so well.
We were pretty sexual. We couldn’t keep our hands off one another. Our chemistry in that regard had always been strong and unwavering. Slowing down now would mean more romantic things for us. Long weekends together, cooking breakfast for one another, late night talks under the stars, and much more.
“I agree we should focus more on our connection and romance,” I said and pecked his cheek. He looked astounded. He was quite speechless for a moment. His mouth opened and shut like a goldfish.
“Noooooo…..” Timothe drawled with a quirked eyebrow of confusion.
“You’ve got it backwards,” he said in a stern voice.
“Huh?” I asked. It was my turn to cock my head in bewilderment.
“Okay, wow,” Timothée said in exasperation.
“Baby, calm down,” I said softly. ��Think about our future. We’re gonna be forever.”
As I cooed at him I sauntered towards him. I placed a hand on his chest. I dragged my fingers down his skin. His eyes took on that dazed dreamy look he often had with me.
“No, no, goodbye,” he said shaking his head.
“I’m sorry you’re going,” I pouted. “I’ll be waiting for your text and checking in every 30 minutes. I love you.”
He gave me a withering glance before he closed the door. I waited the appropriate five minutes and then called him.
I called 100 times. I counted of course. He didn’t answer. I was pacing my house. My feet were even sore from it.
Why didn’t he answer? Why had he said those cryptic words before he left. His body language had been off as well. I was utterly anchorless without him. I wanted the security of him.
It was time for drastic measures. I left a voice note on his phone. I told him I was going to visit him, because we’d been apart too long.
I checked my phone every couple times on the bus. To my horror, no message from Timothée. I was finally at his apartment door. I knocked, and nothing happened. I felt an unsettling fear grip me. I NEEDED to see him. I was banging now, I called his name over and over as tears streamed down my face.
I hadn’t wanted to resort to this, but I was getting frantic. I took out the key I’d secretly copied that was for his door. I knew this seemed insane but no one could understand just how badly I needed to talk to him.
When I was finally in, I realised Timothée wasn’t home. I did feel a little more settled. I was in his area, his home, everything here could be added up to create the man I loved.
I made my way to his closet. I huffed his clothes. It felt good, but they were all clean. I needed something even more Timothée.
I picked a sweater off the floor. I sniffed it deeply. I shuddered all over. It smelled exactly like him. His unique scent and cologne had mixed together well. I felt tears well in my eyes.
“I’ll never love anyone else,” I whispered over and over. I didn’t know how long I stood there crying and smelling before the voice I wanted to hear pulled me out of my dream like state.
“Y/n? Why are you in my home?” Timothée demanded.
“Y-You weren’t answering me,” I said weakly.
“There’s a reason for that!” He growled.
“B-but, maybe I can change your mind? What do you want me to do? I love you so much.”
“You’re crazy,” he shook his head.
“N-no I’m not, I’m not crazy. I just love you,” I said emotionally.
“I’m gonna call the police if you do this again,” he said harshly.
“B-But,” I stuttered.
“Out,” he ordered. I was weeping as I took off the sweater and gave it back. As I left the apartment I heard him calling a lock smith. I realised he was right. Now I was one of those crazy girls.
@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming
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b-plot-butch · 1 year ago
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Hug Analysis
I rewatched “The Doll’s House” episode recently and the moment when Rose rushes to Unity and throws her arms around her? GOD. That embrace means so much to both of them.
Rose has Lyta and a seemingly strong social network, which I’m so glad she has, but at the same time I still get the sense that she felt anchorless after the death of her mother, and perhaps an aspect of her desperation to find Jed was she needed someone to call home. And in the midst of her search for him, suddenly she has Unity, too, who’s so ready to take Rose into her life.
And Unity? Who does she have? Maybe some of the nursing home staff who were kind to her and welcoming when she awoke? Her damn solicitor Mr. Holdaway??? Everyone she knew and loved, all her family and friends, are long dead. When she woke up and realised how utterly alone she was in the world…I would have been terrified.
She was so nervous about meeting Rose: you could see it in her body language, the way she holds herself, the restrained excitement and anxiety in her voice. Unity practically radiates warmth, and her family seems to have been a pretty affectionate one—I think Unity was absolutely starving for someone to love.
And she found that person in Rose.
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dawnslight-aegis · 4 months ago
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13. butte
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Kaede sighed as she looked around for Marz. The girl had completely disappeared, leaving Kaede to deal with Hien and Yugiri on her own – never an appealing prospect, but even less so after Yugiri’s stunt that had almost gotten Marz killed by Zenos. Being sent out by Alphinaud to accompany Alisaie on patrol for imperials was almost a blessing, despite it obviously being busy work. Still, she was getting a little worried. Normally she would consider Marz more able to care for herself than Alisaie, but she’d been a bit strange since returning from the Steppe.
Finally, after nearly a bell of searching, Kaede spied a small, dark figure on the top of one of Yanxia’s many tall, flat-topped rock formations – unreachable except by flight or, apparently, by dragoon jump. With their yols still on the steppe, Kaede was forced to hike back to Namai to rent a falcon, grumbling under her breath the entire time. The sun was beginning to slip below the horizon by the time her boots touched the sparse grass at the top of the formation, and she dropped heavily down next to where Marz still sat, motionless.
“What in the Dawn Father’s name drove you up here?” she groused, more concerned than truly annoyed. “I was looking for you for ages.”
Marz exhaled heavily, blowing an errant curl out from in front of her face. “I don’t know. Thinking, I guess.”
“About?” Marz wasn’t normally so hard to get an answer out of, normally too forthcoming with her thoughts and opinions for most people’s comfort, so for her to retreat and require needling was strange, and concerning.
That earned her a sideways glare over the tops of her drawn up knees, but she answered, begrudgingly. “How weird it feels to be here, mostly. I thought… I thought it would feel more like home. But it doesn’t. Especially the steppe. Everyone looking to me like I ought to know what to do and what to say, like I should understand them – yeah, I’m xaela, but my tribe left the steppe generations ago. I don’t know them. And they don’t know me, even if they look like me. Just another reminder that I’m all that’s left.”
Kaede leaned back on her hands, staring up at the stars as they emerged from the dark. “Yeah. No kidding. I don’t have it as bad as you but… I guess a part of me expected to, I don’t know, recognize this place somehow? My ‘ancestral home’ and all that, where my mom is from, and her mother, and her mother before her… But I feel stranger here than I do in Eorzea.”
Slowly, Marz unwrapped her arms from her legs, her posture relaxing a bit as she shot Kaede a small, sharp-toothed grin. “’Least the xaela on the steppe were better than the raen in Sui-no-Sato. I think they’d keep their heads stuck in the sand even if their arses were on fire.”
Groaning in irritation, Kaede slapped her hand over her face. “Don’t remind me. Gods, they reminded me of my father. Selfish arseholes.”
After a few moments of silence, Marz fell sideways, letting her entire body weight rest on Kaede’s shoulder. It might have knocked her over if she hadn’t been subconsciously bracing for it – Marz had a habit of flopping around like a beached fish on occasion.
Her voice, when she spoke again, was quieter, more vulnerable. “Hate feeling like there’s nowhere I belong. Like there’s nowhere to go back to.”
Kaede had felt like that for much of her life, adrift and anchorless, but Marz had grown up with a family that loved her, a tribe that took care of each other, a man she’d wanted to spend her life with. And then it had been ripped away in an instant. There were no words for a loss that big, that painful. Comparison or platitudes would be nothing but insulting, and so Kaede didn’t try at all, just lacing their fingers together as they stared off into the distance.
The Spire had fully risen above the horizon, Kaede tracing its shape in her mind, by the time Marz moved, shoving herself back upright. “Nhaama, this got depressing. Did you come find me for a reason? Are we supposed to be doing something?”
“Nothing pressing. Alphinaud set me to the task of helping Alisaie patrol, but I think it’s just because he saw that I didn’t want to be in the same room with Hien and Yugiri any more than I have to be.” Her voice was nonchalant as she cast her bait into the waters, seeing if it would be taken.
Marz’s face twisted, confirming what Kaede had suspected – something had happened to sour the xaela’s opinion of the Doman prince. “Can’t blame you there,” she muttered, and then added, quickly, “You’ve never liked Yugiri.”
With a wave of her hand, Kaede brushed off the statement, leaning over conspiratorially. “Nevermind that. There’s something up with you and Hien, isn’t there?”
Startled green eyes, glowing faintly in the darkness, caught her own as Marz’s head whipped around. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, please. Don’t act like I don’t know you better than that, Marzanna. You’ve been avoiding him since the celebration after the Nadaam. Where you both mysteriously disappeared for a while.” Kaede raised her eyebrows, waiting as Marz shifted and fidgeted under her gaze.
“Alright, fine – we slept together. And it was weird. And bad. And I really, really don’t want to talk to him about it.”
Unlike Kaede herself, Marz was not particularly free about who she spent her time with – indeed, in the years they’d known each other, she’d only known her to have given into temptation one other time, with a very different man.
Given that she was in the middle of the longest dry spell she’d had since… ever, thanks to the fact that the man she’d recently given up casual sex for was two entire continents away, Kaede was a touch jealous, but mostly just offended that Marz hadn’t bothered to tell her about it, after all the time she spent needling Kaede about her own escapades. Reaching over, she poked the xaela girl in the shoulder. “Spill it. Details. I want them.”
Marz scrambled to her feet, looking into the distance. “Wow, is that Alisaie down there? We should probably go help her, shouldn’t we?” And without waiting for an answer, Marz leapt to the ground below, landing nimbly as only a dragoon could – if Kaede tried to follow, she’d break her ankles at least. Possibly her neck.
Muttering under her breath about annoying, hypocritical, rude women, Kaede slung her leg over her rented falcon and urged it towards the quickly disappearing dark speck in the distance, a large part of her glad to have at least shaken Marz out of her funk a bit.
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selaseldon · 1 year ago
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Viewing Response #10 - Community in Cowboy Bebop
In "The Past Tense and the Future Perfect: The Postmodern Play of Watanabe Shin’ichiro and the Possibility of the Coming Community" by Will Bridges, the topic of "kyōdōtai" or "body of similar sameness" in the anime Cowboy Bebop is discussed. In the section titled "Anchorless Settings and Mise en scène," Bridges writes, "...the mise en scène of Cowboy Bebop not only makes a spectacle of bricolage and pastiche, it enjoys it" (780). I really like this quote because I feel like it really represents my perspective on the three separate episodes we watched in class today. I especially appreciated being able to watch the opening several times as I noticed different aspects of the imagery, like the quotes "tired of conventional jazz" and "they must create new dreams and films by breaking traditional styles," which I feel like very much translate to the mise-en scene of the episodes, specifically the Bebop ship and how it seems like its own character in the episodes we watched, especially the horror/mystery style episode “Toys in the Attic,” and the scene where Spike is wandering around the ship.
@theuncannyprofessoro
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freebooter4ever · 2 years ago
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So im still exhausted. I keep making dumb mistakes and doing stupid shit like leaving charging cords at work or at home. My coordination is gone, im tripping and knocking into things. My eyes feel sore??? All i want to do anymore is lie down and try to sleep. :/
I think i was running on pure adrenaline last week...and now that 'panic' mode is done my body is paying me back for all the stress. :( i barely slept the entire time i was traveling, i regularly drove for like 10+ hrs on next to no sleep which...yeah. I know. Dangerous. The constant tension of whether or not snow was going to make my next route passable, and worry over keeping other people's schedules. And then to get to my grandparents house and to find out they're not moving till may and the 'end of march' deadline was an arbitrary schedule that didnt actually matter. Im not mad, i cant be mad at them they're moving which is stress enough, im just...mourning my exhaustion and inability to function lol. Had they let me wait even one more month the snow and the insane storms would have been gone.
Anyway, just thinking about that feeling of 'safety' or 'comfort' and how precious a thing it is for me (and my sleep) . After my anxiety started growing worse it takes a LOT for me to feel 'safe' with someone or somewhere. My italian grandparent's house would be one, nick's sister's house would be another. And then my friends house in the mountains of oregon, who are just the kindest, most generous people. The two nights i spent there were literally the only times i slept last week.
Back in the fall of 2018, six months after grandpa died and still unemployed, i helped grandma travel by train to ohio, flew back to seattle, stayed with sanjeev for a week ish, and then started south to los angeles because i literally couldnt think of anywhere else to go. And these friends in oregon - they were off traveling at the time - let me stay in their house for over a week. I was so scared about the future, i was still grieving and feeling like a total ghost, still processing my dad's very friendly comment (when i asked him why he hadn't offered to let me stay in his house after i flew back from ohio) about how if i couldn't afford to house myself i deserved to be homeless.
(honestly that wasn't even the part that bothered me - i knew that about my dad from the time when i was a kid and he would point out homeless people to me and jokingly say 'that will be you as an artist!'. Instead of instilling fear in me though this backfired and all my charity work in high school dealt with homeless shelters lol. But no, the part that bothered me was how he tacked another comment onto the end - that life 'couldn't go back to how it was'. THAT was when i broke down crying in front of him because i think stupid me still genuinely believed that if i moved back to seattle my dad would go back to being my best friend and it'd be us against the world again.)(i saw him for five minutes in sac last week - he refused to even have lunch with us)
Instead in 2018 i was anchorless, emotionally disconnected from reality, and instead of comdemning me like everybody else in my family, my friends were like 'dont worry about it, the house is empty, please use it.' And i did! I was nervous at first. But then i started exploring the area - went to a bunch of state parks out in the middle of nowhere hidden in the high desert. Ended up LOVING one of them and collected those tacky tourist maps and just scribbled all my observations and tips on the best roads to drive/things to do/see onto the margins. And i collected all the brochures and compiled a kind of guide, and left it on the counter just in case my friends hadn't found that particular area to explore yet. And sure enough, they hadn't! To this day they still talk about how happy they were to have all these suggestions and things to see, and how that particular area is now one of their favorite places to visit. So what im saying is that's the only place i got any rest last week. Also those pancakes. I need to make those pancakes.
Anyway i'm just so fucking tired, man. This is the second 'vacation' where i've come back more exhausted than when i left, i think i need to do something differently. (also fuck you dad, five years in LA and not homeless once)
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a-drabble-a-dray · 2 months ago
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He arrived with a bolt of lightning.
Sparks followed his steps. The overrun exploration team only watched as he fulminated full swathes of abominations with a flick of his wrist.
Lightning flashes shone right through him. He haunted nothing, anchorless and unbound, face erased by a mask.
It was only when their stunned silence robbed him of a warning that they saw him wounded.
He bled all the same.
The fact his laughter only grew, however, haunted them more than the ambush.
“Anybody dead?”
He stopped. The bodies hadn’t even finished falling yet.
“No? Good.”
He vanished in a thunderclap.
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sunnonymous · 2 years ago
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She crosses her arms, her mouth set in a thin line that could either mean she was trying to hide bemusement or a desire to kill.
"I might be persuaded to believe it. Go ahead, convince me."
Oh. This is dangerous territory. Deadly in fact.
This is over the train tracks, past the ancient minefield, onto the fragile frozen lake as the sun began to rise, heralding the fresh spring thaw.
I feel the shiver of lingering winter lick up my spine in response to the iciness permeating from her frozen scowl.
"Gimme a second."
"Take your time." She leans against the doorframe now, a subtly menacing energy held taught in the lines of her slender body.
Her grey eyes never leave my dangling form, suspended halfway in, halfway out of the window to her second story bedroom.
"Rats."
"The exclamation, or the animal?"
"The- the animal?" I hedge. "There was one up here. I’m uh… I got a part time job. Pest control."
"Nope, try again. More believable this time, if you can."
I scratch at my nose with as little movement as possible, my eyes darting around the room in the hopes I’ll spot anything to explain away my current predicament.
The wooden ledge of the window frame is starting to dig into my stomach, and with nothing for my feet to find purchase on it’d be hard to do much to relocate that didn’t end with me tumbling onto the floor at her feet. I’m not quite so desperate as to put myself in that position. Yet.
"You’re losing credibility." She warns me, as if I had any to begin with, hanging here like a limp towel.
She’s examining her trimmed nails, and I still can’t for the life of me tell if she finds this whole situation amusing or maddening. Both options could leave me in the lurch, though not much more than I already am.
"Alright, fine, I admit it. I’m here for your interior decorating prowess. I’m redoing my room and there’s no one with a better eye for complementary colour pallets than you."
"I’m more inclined to believe the story about the rats."
I huff, slumping deeper over the sill and wiggling my legs uselessly behind me, as though I might kick my way out of this ordeal.
"You didn’t have to maim a poor tree because of me."
"You think that was my idea? Dad went at it with a chainsaw."
I wince. It’s hard to look up at her when I’ve no clue what expression will be waiting on her striking features. "Your dad knows I’ve been over?"
"He knows someone was coming over." Her shoulders hunch, long legs striding forward a few paces till she can sink down onto the end of her bed. "And now I’ve lost my main escape route."
"Well it wasn’t actually a root, it was a branch-"
"Don’t be arch, it’s not cute." The quirk at the corner of her lips makes me think she’s not being entirely truthful. The thought prompts bubbling, dizzying warmth to start fizzling back to life in my stomach. My very cramped stomach.
"You said you wouldn’t come back." Her smile vanished, gone almost as quick as it had appeared, leaving me anchorless.
"I say a lot of things."
"I told you not to come back."
"You tell me to do a lot of things, too." I attempt a shrug, though it must hardly look like one given the angle. "I listen selectively."
She rolls her striking eyes at me. The sight causes a beaming smile to leap onto my face. There are so many things she wants to say, I can see them, floating like a darkened storm cloud between us, waiting for the first lightning strike of her sharp tongue to hit before the torrents release in its wake.
But she was holding back. It gave me hope that maybe, if I was careful, I could make it off the ice after all.
"For no particular reason, could you possibly lend a hand, or… a chair, or something to hold onto, so I don’t plummet to my death?"
"Death’s rather dramatic," she chides my choice of words. Nevertheless, she kicks her desk chair over to window in one fluid motion so I have something to leverage my weight against when I start to shimmy in the rest of the way, "You’d probably just break both your legs."
"No need to- sound so cheerful- about it." Come my muffled gasps between the sounds effort that punctuate my statement. I pull and clamber and wiggle my body fully inside. Once there, I slouch bodily into the chair with a great big breath of relief, rubbing at my sore stomach as a grimace twists my face. She’s still squinting at me, like she sees right through all that I am.
"How the hell did you even make it to the window without the branch?"
"I jumped."
She blanches. "You did what?"
"J-u-m-p. Jump. It’s where you use your legs to push your body through the air-"
"All the way from the tree? How are you not dead?"
"I have good aim." I’m still a little breathless, brow furrowed as I rub over sore muscles, but it’s nothing I can’t manage.
"What if you hadn’t made it?"
"Then I’d have two broken legs." I quote matter-of-factly, nodding along to emphasise how we’re going round in circles, now.
She throws her arms up in frustration and makes a growling sound in the back of her throat, which makes my eyes dart to the slender column of her neck. I gulp. That same fizzy feeling is blooming out to fill my chest with warmth, threatening to pull my focus.
"You need to clear out of here before he gets home, you know."
"I didn’t think anyone was home at all." I mutter to myself, sitting up straighter on her chair in an attempt to gain back some dignity.
"Then why the idiotic acrobatics?"
"Just wanted to check if I could."
"Still not believable."
"I wanted to see you."
"Already said you didn’t know I was home, so that’s a manipulative lie. Strike one and two."
"I miss you." The words tear out of my chest like a sudden car backfire in the night, leaving me ringing from their heavy, hollow echo. They hang in the atmosphere, suspended in the charged air between us. "I miss you, okay."
Her eyes pierce into me, pinning me to the chair like a captured bug splayed under a piece of glass.
It hurts to see such stormy emotions behind the penetrating grey, knowing I’ll never find out what’s going on in there. No longer would she trust me enough to divulge the inner workings of her wonderful mind, nor could I ever discern her thoughts from sight alone.
"It’s time to go." She tells me firmly, leaving no room for argument, despite the slight waver in her tone. I feel a stone drop inside of me, and I wonder if this is what finally cracks the ice beneath my feet. Best not to push my luck.
"Alright. No arguments here. If the real pest catcher is on the way then this rat had better skedaddle." I stand from her chair and turn to awkwardly move it back to its place by her desk. I have none of her grace and elegance, I know, but I try to make do.
My hands dance absently over the surface of her desk, as if looking for other things to tidy. I’m stalling for time, just for another moment to be by her side, and it’s obvious.
The tension almost tips past a breaking point, but before it can I turn for the door, hands sinking into my pockets to keep from reaching for her like spring morning flowers reach for the sun. I’ve just passed the threshold of the door when the silence finally breaks.
"You’re so hard to read, you know."
The sound of her voice makes me startle a bit. Her admission catches me off guard. Blinking in surprise, I glance back over my shoulder and realise… I’ve never expected that she could be struggling with this just as much as I had. "I would’ve said the same thing about you."
"Yeah, I suppose a good liar would."
"It’s not that. It’s something about the two of us that just… we’re too different. Or too alike. Usually people tell me I’m an open book."
"No. You seem that way, it’s true, but it’s a mask." There’s a melancholy gleam to her eyes now, her still-crossed arms shifting to wrap more around her body as though for comfort rather than defensive posturing. "There’s so many layers, but you run off whenever anyone starts trying to dig. To find the real you. It’s so hard to know what you truly mean."
I swallow heavily, gaze falling shamefully to the carpet. If I were to be honest, which I rarely am… it scares me how accurate her assessmen is. Even while it’s still obvious she has no idea why I am this way. "Maybe we’re just both bad at reading people."
"That’s the first believable thing you’ve said in a long time."
"Have a good night." I leave her then, sweeping down the stairs and out the front door as quietly as a mouse, or rather, the rat she surely thinks I am.
The small package I came to deliver is sitting surreptitiously on her desk. I hope that she’ll open it before realising it’s from me. Even after everything, I had to give her the birthday present.
I always remembered. First day of spring, when the ice began to melt.
Not that she’d believe me.
Prompt #962
"You wouldn't, by chance, believe me if I said it's not what it looks like?"
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zhakyria · 1 year ago
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Looming Darkness
Looming Darkness is a collection of stories take place in my Arclight AU which is a melting pot of various Sci-Fi properties, with events, characters, organizations and histories from Farscape to WildStar. This is just my interpretation and fun what-ifs that revolve around my favorite OCs and Canon Characters interacting. Much of it involves Star Wars because right now that is my primary obsession, but there will be references and maybe even some wayward characters that show up here and there. Because this is an AU that includes many different properties, original timelines of events have been adjusted to fit this AU better. Any years listed are in reference to the Arclight Timeline. Ascendancy and Thrawn stuff inspired by Project Compass by DistantStorm, Belonging by amukmuk, and postmortem by furiosophie.
Part 1: Unexpected Variables
Prologue | Out of Time
Galactic Empire | Lothal | Year 4262
The hatch to the bridge opened, followed by blaster shots and the sound of the two death troopers stationed there hitting the floor. Thrawn straightened his shoulders and turned to face his adversary. Ezra Bridger held a blaster trained at his chest. He stood confidently, feet planted firmly with no hesitation in his movement. His gaze focused on Thrawn. 
“Looks like you lose, Thrawn.” Bridger’s voice held restrained anger. Justified anger. How many lives had he doomed? At Lansend? At Batonn? How many times did he choose to do nothing? Thought of them as just Imperial assets?
He could have done more. 
“A momentary setback.” 
He should have done more. 
“We’ll see.”
He admired Bridger’s conviction. The same conviction he’d seen in General Syndulla and in Agent Kallus. They were all warriors, willing to die for their cause, yet they fought even harder to live for it, to see it through to the end. They knew where they stood. Did he?
Could he even consider himself a warrior anymore? He felt lost, adrift, anchorless. It had grown difficult to tell right from wrong. 
There are things in the universe that are simply and purely evil. Words from another time. 
A warrior does not seek to understand them, or to compromise with them. Yet that is what he had done. 
He seeks only to obliterate them.…that uniform has blinded you to reality. He’s standing again on that field outside Creekpath but this time he is surrounded by the burned and broken bodies of insurgents and civilians.
There are evil things in this galaxy; far more evil than the Empire… Hooded yellow eyes stare back at him from the dark, knowing, mocking. Dark hallways close in despite their enormity and grandeur. 
“Sir, several unidentified objects have just entered orbit.” Reality slams back into place. 
“My blockade will intercept them.” Another variable is added to the situation, another brushstroke to the canvas. He catches Bridger’s eye and the corner of the young man’s mouth lifts. 
“They’ve destroyed the blockade. Our ships are just gone.” The officer replies. There was fear in his voice, and in the way his shoulders tensed reading the reports.
“Get Captain Pellaeon.” Thrawn demanded with a touch of anger at the edge of his voice. More lives lost. The noose tightened, time was running out.
“Sir, they came out of hyperspace!”  Pellaeon’s awed voice echoed through the bridge. “I’ve never seen….” Static hissed through the rest of the transmission. 
“Admiral, we have incoming.” 
Thrawn’s eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted in a grimace, before he could regain his composure. More miscalculations. How many more would he make?  
“Take a look.” Bridger motioned towards the view ports with his blaster. Thrawn obliged him.
The purrgils emerged from the pale gold clouds led by the Ghost, on a direct course for the Chimaera and its support ships. He took in a sharp breath, his eyes going wide. The young Jedi proved yet again to be a master of the unexpected. Once more side stepping expectations and assumptions. Purrgils were ship breakers. Even a small one could do significant damage, their thick skulls able to punch through the armor plating with ease. The largest were of comparable size to the Chimaera. 
The lead purrgils slammed into the Chimaera’s support ships, tearing great holes into their hulls and destroying their drives in the first pass. Thrawn closed his eyes and breathed deep. Another promise broken. He snapped his eyes back open, pulled his blaster pistol and faced Bridger. His voice cut through the commotion. “Begin evacuations at once.”
The bridge officers scrambled to obey his command. They were all newly assigned to their positions. His most trusted officers had been re-assigned to a new command under Commodore Faro, just before arriving at Lothal, in order to spare them his fate. The purrgils moved in close to the Chimaera, their size blocking the view ports. Their low rumbling calls reverberating through the bridge.     
This would be the end. A brief smile crossed Thrawn’s lips. “Whatever happens next, happens to both of us.”  
“That’s the idea.” Bridger replied. He narrowed his eyes and shifted his stance. 
The windows shattered. The purrgil’s tentacles reached in and slammed into the stormtroopers standing on either side of Thraw. The explosion of air accompanied the agitated calls of the beasts outside. Thrawn fired uselessly at the tentacles, their tough hide dissipating the blaster fire. The troopers were pulled one by one from the ship. He ducked under one, then charged towards Bridger, to avoid a second one slamming down upon him.
Bridger lifted his hand and with a subtle pushing motion threw Thrawn back into the grip of the purrgil’s tentacles. He managed to maintain his hold on the pistol, and fired it at the softer underside of the tentacles tightening their grip around him.
“Ezra? Ezra, can you hear me? The purrgil, is it you?” Bridger’s comlink crackled to life with Sabine Wren’s voice. 
“Yeah! Pretty good, huh?” Bridger looked away, excitement and triumph brightening his voice.
The tentacles around Thrawn loosened. 
“Well, you could’ve told the rest of us.”
“I wanted it to be a surprise.” Bridger looked up and locked eyes with Thrawn.
The hatch to the bridge opened and Bridger whirled to face the charging extraction squad. His stance remained grounded as he threw out his hand, throwing the death trooper into the stormtroopers behind. Bridger brought up the rifle and shot the two remaining troopers.   
Thrawn pulled the last tentacle from his waist, aimed his pistol and fired.
Bridger stumbled forward a half step crying out in pain, his left arm hanging limp. Then spun around and pulled the pistol from Thrawn’s hand and tossed it aside with the Force. 
Thrawn could never quite account for that variable. There was so much he did not know about it. Did not understand. The sight of rain cascading down a window covered in equations sprung unbidden to his mind.
Bridger pulled his arm back in a familiar move. Thrawn braced himself as he was shoved again against the forward console. The purrgil’s tentacles wrapped around him more firmly. 
Another squad of stormtroopers ran up behind Bridger, who turned and used the Force to close the hatchway on them. He breathed heavily, wincing, but he kept his right hand raised, holding the hatch shut. He turned his attention forward. 
Thrawn struggled against the tentacles, but they tightened around him, compressing his chest; a sharp pain shot through his side. The Chimaera shuddered. The tentacles around him began to glow and emit a low reverberating sound, not unlike a hyperdrive powering up.
“Ezra! Ezra, get out of there right now! That’s an order.” Hera Syndulla’s voice crackled through Bridger’s comlink.
“Hera, I have to see this through to the end.” Bridger lifted his left hand towards the front of the bridge. A low rumble shook the ship and the glowing patterns on the purrgil’s tentacles flashed more quickly. The air stilled around them.
“Ezra, please! Get out of there.” Worry cut through Sabine’s voice.
“I can’t do that.” Bridger’s voice was calm, almost serene. 
The tentacles contracted and rotated Thrawn towards the windows. He winced as the movement and compression cracked a second rib. Several purrgils had grabbed hold of the Chimaera. Alarms blared. Warnings flashed. The integrity of the ship was compromised. 
Whatever would happen, would happen to them both. 
A promise to burn it all down. Broken. 
A promise to return. 
No one is immune to failure. Words written a lifetime ago.
“It’s up to all of you now.” Bridger’s voice broke through his thoughts. The clouds and stars stretched before them as the purrgils picked up speed. The thrumming emanating from their tentacles grew more intense. “And remember, the Force will be with you, always.” They jumped to hyperspace.
/
//message //for commodore faro [ eyes only ] //encrypted //location [ REDACTED ] //sender [ REDACTED ]
Commodore, if you have received this message it means that I have failed and that I am most likely dead. I once commanded your loyalty; I ask to do so one more time. I made a promise to someone very dear to me to burn it all down before I left. It would appear that I am unable to keep that promise.
I understand what I ask of you. I trust you to do what is right. Project Stardust must be stopped. –
//
/
  
Author Notes: This is a re-write of the confrontation between Thrawn and Ezra during the Rebels finale as told from Thrawn’s perspective. Some of this is influenced by the amazing postmortem part 1 and part 2 by furiosophie, and I draw much of Thrawn’s characterizations, thoughts, and past events from that work as it aligns quite well with how I perceive Thrawn and by extension Eli and the others he interacts with.
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metalindex-hu · 2 years ago
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Új dalt dobott a Hænesy az Anchorless Bodies énekesével
Új dalt dobott a Hænesy az Anchorless Bodies énekesével - https://nuskull.hu/hirek/uj-dalt-dobott-a-haenesy-az-anchorless-bodies-enekesevel/ -
Kicsit több mint két éve súlyos hallgatásba burkolózott a budapesti Hænesy, de most végre megtört a csend: megérkezett a Through the Storm of Everlasting Complaints című szerzemény, ami egy másik új dallal együtt a szlovák Autumn Nostalgie-vel készített splitre kerül majd fel. A borongós közösködés Awaking Mechanon címen érkezik június 2-án.
A Hænesy egyszemélyes, atmoszferikus black metal projektként indult, a 2021-ben kiadott Garabontzia nagylemezre trióvá bővült, jelenleg pedig az alapító Sándor Henrik gitáros (As Karma Brings, Mádra) mellett Galántay Tamás dobos (Mádra, ex-Slytract) a másik tagja. A most kiadott dalban Pap Márton (Anchorless Bodies, VLKN) tölti be a vokálos szerepét.
Az Autumn Nostalgie 2020-ban alakult, szintén egyszemélyes zenekarként, majd A.G.-hez (Winterheart, ex-Catharsi, ex-Fekete Erdő, ex-Vinterskog) tavaly csatlakozott dobosként Alastor (Ignominious).
//www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_6DE_IXsi0
Awaking Mechanon (Split with Hænesy) by Autumn Nostalgie
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time-is-standing · 1 year ago
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top 10 songs of july
aka a late & very special edition. as you might know I'm hungarian and I've been editing out all the hungarian songs through the years. it's been more & more difficult lately, but as of the 31 of july, there's nothing but hungarian songs in my top 37 so well... hungarian top 10 it is! also I'll have a hungarian version of this post as well. hope you enjoy.
1. Tánc by Hanoi
Hanoi is one of the bands I've gotten to know on one of my Téveszme concerts. it was the band's officical last concert because they speparated. but in the very moment the singer said "who here has already regretted only getting to know us on our last night together as a band?" and I knew I fucked up. it was so catchy, I love the raspy voice of the singer, I love their band so so much.
2. Hullócsillagok by Mudfield
my bf wanted to attend this band's conxert, I've been hating on them as a joke for months so he insisted we went. when the day of the concert came, I was super hyped, but he was tired so I went with other friends and had so much fun! it was a super energetic concert with great vibes and loads of jumping around. this is one of the sadder songs and I'm obsessed with it (as always, lol).
3. Maradj így by Bagossy Brothers Company
antoher sad song from a concert I never intended to attend. one of my friends here in the big city wanted to go and asked me to join. the ticket was free so I said I'd go and had fun, but this is not one of my fav bands. however this song, this is a masterpiece.
4. Százszorbátrak, viharverők (A gyertya harmadik vége) by Téveszme
Téveszme, my dearest love. I have already told stories of the relationship I have with the band and some old firends, but I'll dig around to find them for the hungarian post. I love this band with so much passion I'm travelling through the whole country to see them. Viktor is the best, and in the latest concert he was super obsessed with my bf knowing every single word of their lyrics so we all had fun lol.
5. Egy garabonicás visszatörölt chat-panaszai by Téveszme
my current fav. it's about a long distance relationship and as of now I'm in a kinda ldr, we have to travel like 3 hours to get to each others and are moving in soon. we can't wait for it to finally happen. I hope we won't end up like the couple in this song.
6. Komorebi by PETOFI
oh, petøfi. I love the vibes, the sadness, the screaming, the messages. this song especially has a super catchy chorus, so I'd a 100% would recommend listening to it. I love it so much, I even made one scene of the videoclip my computer background. this is one of the newer songs but I enjoy everything that comes out under this name. I AM OBSESSED so let's move on.
7. Az idő esete by PETOFI
one of the older songs, I always joke around with this band being given as a present to me because... that's exactly what happened. I was real suprised at my first petofi concert when I ended up sobbing on the floor after screaming the lyrics to this and Süket füledre... such powerful lines, such powerful memories.
8. Kiseper by Anchorless Bodies
oh this is a special one. you have to listen to it to realize but this is the kind of poetry/music I enjoy the most: when not only do we play with words but the tempo, the beat and every single breath we take to give the listeners a message. 10/1000 stars for this one.
9. Az adás megszakad by Satelles
I love the mindset and vibes of this song as well. a random band I don't know as well as the others but this song is quite close to my heart if I'm being honest.
10. Ül és vár by 30Y
superise: I wasn't meant to be attending this cocnert either. I had a huge fight with my bf who left me alone for the weekend and decided I'm not going to cry through antoher night alone so I went to the best sounding concert in my area. I sobbed through this whole song and the speech Zoli gave. I still live by his words "everything we have in life is lent to us by someone".
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bmaxwell · 2 years ago
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My Soundtrack of Life 2 of 3
Alice in Chains - Would?
youtube
This isn’t tied to any specific moment, but this song is a perfect snapshot of my music of that time. I love this song and band. I was a depressed kid in high school (we all are, right?) and Alice in Chains really helped me through some dark times. If I were to make a list of my all-time favorite tunes, this one would be in the top 5.
Nirvana - The Man who Sold the World
youtube
I was a Nirvana fan, but never put them on a pedestal the way a lot of the music world did. Still, I remember the day that Kurt Cobain died. I remember driving home from the mall and hearing on the radio that a body had been found at Cobain’s house.
When I got home and turned on MTV, they had confirmed that it was Cobain’s body. They then played Nivana’s rendition of The Man Who Sold the World from their incredible MTV Unplugged set. That song against that news has stuck with me ever since.
Pearl Jam - Off He Goes
youtube
The transition from high school to adulthood was rough for me. My best friend throughout most of my life was going off to college at U of M, then to go work for Apple. I had no particular plans. A few months into his college life, he came back to visit. He was my same old friend in some ways, a totally different person in others.
This song made me bawl the first time I heard it, and always reminds me of that time in my life.
Mr Bungle - Violenza Domestica
youtube
All through junior high and high school, I was way into music. And that was always, always centered around drums and guitars. Mr Bungle’s Disco Volante is one of the pieces of work that broke me out of that rigid mindset.
I was enamored with Faith No More, and I learned that he was in another band called Mr Bungle. This was before YouTube and Napster, so there was no sampling to be had. I bought Disco Volante from the Harmony House and what the actual FUCK is this? This is not like Faith No More. At all. This is not...is this music? It has musical elements...
Again, I listened to a LOT of music. So I put it on in the background a lot and bits and pieces of it began to stand out to me. What hit the ear as chaos and randomness initially became deeply satisfying with continued listens. Disco Volante taught me that sometime art demands an investment of time and effort from the audience, and that can be incredibly rewarding.
Fiona Apple - Pale September
youtube
I stayed with my high school girlfriend for several years after graduation. We loved each other. We got engaged. It’s easy to look back and see that we stayed together for too long, we lost a couple of years just being polite to each other. Eventually she cheated on me, and I took my stuff and moved back in with my parents. For someone who felt anchorless and lost after school, this was devastating to me. I’m living with my parents, working a nametag job, with no plans for the future and no idea about anything and I am going to die terribly, terribly alone.
I also discovered Fiona Apple around this time, and Tidal is absolutely perfect music for wallowing in an introspective hell.
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epistrefei · 6 months ago
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Artemis, for the first time, struggles to get a good breath in. Never before had she relied on such machinations to keep herself alive, but now she found herself heaving in fruitless inhale after inhale of oxygen in futility to stay her racing heart.
Everything was so frighteningly quiet. She had longed for a silence like this for sometime, but this silence was not only sound, but the sensations within her body. The roots of the Earth did not sing out to her as they did before. She did not attune to the echoes of every animal's thoughts, her kin above all. Artemis was disconnected. Unmoored and anchorless.
Another tremble wracked her entire body, a violent shiver clawing back any warmth she might have left in her body. The fates knew that a great deal of blood had seeped from the gaping wound in her leg, the blood a startling crimson instead of the sparkling ichor they were so used to seeing.
"I am trying," Artemis breathes, stiffening at the touch so close to the exposed muscle and sinew. Her expression screws up into one of clear pain—but Zahrosa's magic begins to stitch it all back together, melding the skin grotesquely but working as intended all the same.
Artemis' dark eyes dart down and stare in silence. Perhaps this was the one resounding answer to what exactly afflicted the huntress.
"Zahrosa," she utters barely above the wind. Her voice catches. Artemis can only repeat with growing urgency, sitting up straight. "Zahrosa." This is not right. Nothing is right. What am I? What is happening? What will happen? What do I do?
Zahrosa can hear the choked quality to Artemis' words, the barely suppressed emotion that does not so much hide beneath the surface as rip the overlaying pretense to tatters. Rosie is not much better, in return, but she will make herself be.
It takes some great strength to focus herself just now, but Rosie is not to be trifled with on matters of the mind. She allows her awareness to sink deeper, through her hands and into her Goddess' body, into her mind in the same moment, filling her up until it Rosie could almost be rushing through her veins and hanging on her every thought and permeating her very dreams.
All of this feels wrong. Not wrong for most, but wrong for Artemis, close as she has been to the woman in various ways, at various times. It does not feel like her.
Rosie knows precisely what it does feel like.
The sorceress lets out a long, slow breath, and cultivates some icy balm within herself so that she might soothe her love. The anger is still there, the fury, but it is held somewhere behind a dam that Rosie will not allow to break. Her hand on Artemis' leg becomes less crushing, and she focuses herself on the torn flesh and seeping blood there.
"Be still," she says, eyes closed. "First, let me fix this."
And if her theory is correct, it will not cause Artemis the strange effects it has done in the past. Their incompatibility will be... irrelevant.
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magpie-to-the-morning · 2 years ago
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Hey Emma! In case inspiration strikes
10. “Spread your legs wider.” with Din or Jack 👀
Bee!! I dove straight into this one. I hope you like it. 😘
Tumblr media
18+ ONLY. Unbeta’d, untagged, but smut with explicit consent. 1k
The durasteel walls are slick beneath your palms, cool to the touch and unforgivably smooth as you scrabble for balance. A chuckle distinctly lacking in sympathy crackles through the vocoder behind your ear.
“Told you.”
You huff, unwilling to admit defeat. “I’ve surfed waves bigger than your ship on Spira, Mando, I think I can handle a little turbulence.”
As if the Galaxy itself is determined to prove you wrong, the Crest pitches violently to the left and sends you flying back against the Mandalorian’s chest. You land with a soft oomph against his unyielding bulk and he steadies you with one arm slung low around your hips.
“Udesii. I’ve got you.”
His thumb brushes lazily against your bare hip, suede soft and leaving a trail of warmth shivering in its wake. You relax into his hold instinctively, the now-familiar contrast of cold Beskar and worn leather as comforting as the low rumble of his voice.
“You sure you don’t want to go back to our - back to the bunk?”
“And let you win? Not likely.”
Over the last few weeks, he’s had you everywhere else on his ship. Straddling his lap in the cockpit as you rode him blindfolded. Face-down on the small galley table while he ate you from behind until you dug your nails into its surface and sobbed. Clinging to him in the pitch black ‘fresher, the only time he’d come to you completely bare, and even then only after a hunt went so badly wrong you thought neither of you would make it out alive.
Most often, you’ve fucked in his bunk but between his broad frame and his reluctance to fully shed his armor, it’s a tight fit in more ways than one. He’d sounded intrigued by your proposal of wall sex, and his wry insinuation that you wouldn’t be able to manage to take him standing up only made you more determined.
Besides, you’ve been thinking about it all day.
“Want you like this,” you pout, half teasing, half sultry. You’re not sure which half makes up his mind but with a few muttered words of Mando’a, he guides your hands back to the wall.
“Atin dala. Spread your legs.” Without waiting for you to comply, he knocks your ankle, forcing you to widen your stance, one gloved hand steadying your hip. He moves your body with a practiced ease and despite the joy you take in sparring with him, submitting brings its own delicious thrill.
“Good girl.”
Anticipation sparks hot along your spine and sends a rush of molten heat straight to your core. You move to look over your shoulder but he catches your chin between his thumb and forefinger.
“Eyes forward, pretty.”
Your toes curl, knowing what's coming next. Sure enough, there’s the telltale hiss and a quiet clink of metal as he sets his helmet down. The lights are fully on and you could easily steal at least a glimpse of his features, to at least catch a fleeting sight of the man you’ve been flying with (not to mention fucking), but despite your curiosity, you refuse to so much as peek.
You know what it’s costing him to open up even this far and besides, you would never break the trust he’s handed you, so you stay still, your eyes fixed on the dull sheen in front of you.
“Jate dala.”
This time his humid breath ghosts past your ear and his words of praise come to you unfiltered. Your breath hitches at the raw sound of his voice, the sweet, deep rumble only you get to hear. The need coiling in your belly hooks you sharp and sudden and you rock back against him in time with your own ragged breathing, unable to stop yourself begging for more.
More movement, more heat. More him.
“Please.”
The desperate plea catches in your throat and he stiffens, then releases you. Doubt sends you reeling, anchorless and exposed. Did you push too far? Let your need for him show too much?
“Mando, I - “
Before your anxious thoughts unspool any further, you’re interrupted by the sound of his gloves slapping against the floor where he’s thrown them aside and then his hands, his large, warm, bare hands are at your waist.
“Din. Ner gai cuyir Din.”
His fingers curl around your sex and when he finds you already dripping for him, he works his cock through your folds, the flushed head pushing past your lips while he grinds the base against your swollen clit. You reach down and grasp him, pumping his stiff length and palming it flush against your heat until you move as one being, slick and gasping.
Just as you’re approaching the blinding edge of your first orgasm, there’s a rough jolt all around you. The Crest lurches violently to one side and even as he curses and braces you both against the wall, the blunt head of his cock slips inside you. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, the sensation somehow too much and not enough all at once.
He holds himself rigid beside you and it’s only the rough edge of his voice that hints at the effort of keeping still.
“You good?”
You nod and manage an only slightly strangled yes. He drops his forehead to the back of your neck while you both adjust to the sudden fullness, the unexpected pressure.
No matter how many times he takes you, your Mandalorian is unfailingly… Gentle is the wrong word. So is respectful, although it hits closer to the mark. Careful comes closest. Like he’s afraid of hurting you. Of scaring you away.
As if he doesn’t realize that his arms are the safest place in the Galaxy and all you want is rest there for as long as he’ll have you.
When you can’t stand it any longer you whine and beg for him to move, to fill you, to fuck himself so deep inside you it feels, just for a moment, like he’ll never leave.
His arm bands around your chest, pulling you flush against him as noses at your cheek, perilously close to letting you catch a glimpse of his face. But you don’t need to see him to know that a smile is pulling at the corners of his mouth as he leans in close and says,
“Spread your legs wider.”
-
Mando’a Translations
Udesii - take it easy
Atin dala - stubborn girl
Jate dala - good girl
Din. Ner gai cuyir Din. - Din. My name is Din.
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krazy-kipo · 3 years ago
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Anchorless
(Based off a snipet I wrote about my o.c Pyro and how far they'd go for Kipo. Only for their sacrifice to horribly backfire. Also the idea of being anchorless was just really intresting to me. Just being lost to yourself and getting stuck in that animal mind set.)
You were falling. Grasping at air as feathers fluttered around you. You had just wanted to help. You wanted Kipo to know she wasn't alone. But now you were dropping, getting further and further from your friends. From the fight. From yourself.
Looking around trying to find something anything to stop your descent you begin to panic as you continue to free fall. Kipo needed back up, she needed support. She needed you! You thought if you did what Emilia did maybe... maybe...
There's a loud caw as the bird above you flaps their wings sending it's feathers fluttering down. Feeling the air leave your lungs as you fall they rise above you and you notice they're your favorite color. They're you.
Closing your eyes hearing the wind whistle in your ears as it throws your hair around, the shouts fade away, and you plummet. Slowly you feel yourself loose control receeding deep into your mind as adrenaline courses through your body. Reaching out hoping to grab something, anything, your head spins. Your grip is slowly slipping from your mute side as it begins to take over. As it forces you to keep falling.
"(Y/N)!" Snapping your eyes open your floating in space. You can't see out of your own eyes anymore but you can see all your old memories. The mute is gone and you stand on nothing. Clouds surround you making you nervous as you begin to wander about trying to find a way to control yourself again.
"..." Unable to speak you walk, footsteps silent as the fog of your mind muffles all sound.
Seeing yourself and your friends you pause hand stretched to grab one but you feel yourself sinking into the clouds. Pulling back from your memories the sinking stops and your left alone and trapped in your own mind. Tears slipped down your cheeks as you open your mouth trying to scream but there's no sound.
Spinning around panicked you couldn't see a way out, you were stuck. You were lost in yourself. The cawing from before gets louder and as you fall to your knees sinking into the fog your surrounded by your repeating memories. Closing your eyes you feel yourself flying.
~~~
"(Y/N)! (Y/N)!!!" Kipo continued calling out to you but you had long stopped responding. Emilia was cured and gone forever, you'd done it.
As she stood there watching you, a mega bird she smiled sadly.
"Come on (Y/N)... Come back..." She mumbles but you don't hear her. You don't have an anchor, you can't change back and there's no more cure.
Shaking as she watches you, Hugo wrapped his arms around her and she began crying into his jacket, slowly sinking to her knees. You'd saved her life. You'd saved Hugos life. All the mutes. All her friends. But at what cost? Was it worth it?
"... Kipo..." Hugo mumbled. He looked up and the Mega Bird you'd become was flapping it's wings looking around confused. It cawed staring at something near them before looking away but it's eyes. They were devoid of intelligence. It was just a hollow husk of (Y/N) and there was no cure and no pre established anchor. If they couldn't find themselves they'd be lost forever.
"Hey Kipo it's okay-" Lio tries to soothe but Kipo shakes her head.
"No dad! No it's not!" Kipo responds. She's shaking as she clutches her brothers jacket. She was so close to loosing him. She already lost YumYan Hammerpaw and so many others. No you too. Please not you too!
"Kipo we can figure this out. We can help them." Song states but Kipo doesn't listen this is all her fault.
"(Y/N) PLEASE!!!" She begs pleading for you to change back. Tears streak down her face and her eyes turn pink as she shakes. They'd lost so much not you too!
"Wait kid you'll-" Jamack tries to warn but it's to late. With a couple flaps of the Mega birds multiple wings you were gone.
You were gone...
~~~
Your body felt heavy. Hand digging into the dirt like claws you were numb. Your entire body... something was wrong with it but you didn't know what. Grunting your eyes glance around, vision blurred.
"... Ugh..." You can't remember what happened. Why you felt this way but whatever you'd been through it made your entire body hurt. Had Emilia smacked you around that much? "... guys?" You call out but your voice is scratchy. When you get no response you slowly push yourself up and look around. The jungle your in is empty. You're alone.
Getting up you teeter before leaning on a tree and vomitting. Shaking after you finish, you wipe at your mouth once your stomachs emptied. A feather flutters from your hair and you pause remembering the hell you endured. Looking around there were feathers everywhere.
Lightheaded and dizzy the transformation being very draining, you begin stumbling in a direction hoping to find home. Minutes blend into hours as the sun falls and the forest becomes dark. Your cold, hungry, and tired but you continue to stumble.
Seeing the Timbercats village your vision goes blurry as you collapse outside the wooden wall. Noises erupt around you and feeling hands on you, you smile before everything fades to black that same voice that brought you back calling your name as you fade away.
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