#analysis friday

[dungeons-and-dictions]

Musical-loving Americana Cannibals AND the cesspit angel getting his comeuppance? Why thank you!

SPOILERS for Hazbin Hotel Ep. 7-8

What I suspected with Lucifer’s reaction was true; most demons just don’t know exorcist features well enough to recognize an angel without wings.

Also, I have wondered because Vaggie and Carmilla look similar - is Carmilla also an angel? Her eyes and facial features especially made me wonder, and may explain her gathering up of weapons and refusal to start a war.

It was cool to see these two have another duet, this time face-to-face. It matched the theme of protecting who they loved, and without being a reprise!

And now… the big stuff!

Alastor unhinged! Loved his lack of voice when his cane broke, and his reaction. But ooooh boy, I really fear for Charlie with his meltdown. Her favor’s going to be devastating with how Alastor is taking his almost death. Also due to a note below, maybe he isn’t owned by Lilith after all.

Imagine still arguing 10,000 years later over your ex-wife (and maybe ex-wife to both?). Love the little white auras around them.

Short Duck Daddy better make good on all the caviar mountains promised! All the revamps and coverage is about to make this place lit.

Why???

Oh.

Because.

Congrats, Sir Pentious! An excellent run as a lovable, ascended extra. I hope we get more of him though!

I mean, I’m hoping between seasons this is reported on like crazy. The hotel took on Heaven, sent them packing, got a giant update, AND Charlie’s redemption theory is true?! What sinner wouldn’t want that?

A few interesting implications so far:

A sinner can only go to Heaven upon a death in Hell, aka judgement only occurs at death. This makes it analogous to the situation people on Earth face.

Death via a noble cause is what grants you entrance to Heaven. This could be another way some questionable people end up there

Angels and demons may be the same race, only affected by the respective environment in terms of powers. Sir Pentious has very minor changes when we see him redeemed.

Death in the afterlife is not the end if you now qualify for the opposite team?! A crazy loophole if this is true.

Who is excited to see Adam, who died, rejudged to Hell since he died again? Bonus points if he is in the hotel or cavorting with the BIG baddies in Season 2.

And Emily is the cutest thing ahshsjaisd

This will be fun to see progress. I wonder if we’ll get to see God or a big good in this series. Also, maybe Emily is Eve? Idk there’s so many possibilities and we really could have had 20 more episodes.

Finally, Adam had a deal with…

Lilith?! And Lute’s going to be first in command of the exorcists now.

Also, we don’t actually know where this lovely beach is. It feels to me like a private beach, in-between Heaven and Hell, tucked away in an inconspicuous corner that was always there.

So, did Lilith leave Lucifer for Adam? Maybe she decided that our depressed duck demon was too much and at least gritting her teeth and being by Adam’s side was productive? I expected Lilith to show up, but not with Lute knowing about a deal she made.

Now to hunker down and await Season 2! Vivienne and Co., it’s been an honor to analyze and theorize with all the fun goodies. Thank you for making this dream come true and sharing it!

[bluemoonscape]

Actually devastated by the central theme of the Io and Till comic.

Io loved him and yet she knew she couldn’t protect him. She couldn’t keep him. In this world, she doesn’t have the luxury of keeping something as precious and fleeting as Till. He’s a tool and she is his maker. She brought him into a world where she fears he will only suffer. And Till has suffered. Till has suffered so much.

But Io wanted him to be loved. Prayed that someone could ever possibly love her baby as much as she did because she knew one day she couldn’t offer him love anymore. All a mother can hope for is that someone will love you like you deserve when I’m gone.

And someone did.

Someone loved Till. Someone protected him. Someone’s entire life was driven by love for her baby.

Someone on Twitter pointed out that Ivan’s name means “gift of God.”

Ivan was Io’s gift from whatever being she desperately prayed to.

Ivan didn’t think he mattered to anyone, but look.

He was everything Io ever hoped and begged the universe for for her child.

[rockrosethistle]

I'm thinking about the implications again.

The numbers that the hive mind performs aren't random. Both the lyrics and the choreography will often boil down to to one purpose: to cause pain. (Pokey is ruthless.)

Sometimes it's physical, and that's easy to spot. The cops spend half of their song just kicking and pushing people to the ground. Join Us And Die literally ends with Ted getting beat up.

And when the choreography doesn't allow for it, the lyrics are specifically trying to elicit an emotional response. The hive uses Alice to torment Bill. He's watching someone he loves die in front of him. It does the same for Charlotte.

Okay, the hive gets a kick out watching people suffer. That's not new information. But the implications...

Look at Inevitable. It's a pretty significant shift from the rest of the numbers. Whereas those seem tailored for pain and fear, Inevitable seems to be comforting? Just look.

Paul walks out, and the first thing he does is hug Emma. Which doesn't seem significant at first, but think: Did Bill get that same courtesy?

Alice's first line is meant to taunt Bill. Paul's is almost consolatory; " Emma / I'm sorry / you lost." I won't dissect this completely, the theory is that this first line is genuine. Paul is actually sorry that their plan failed.

And when you take a look at the choreography, it becomes clear that it's a lot kinder than the other songs.

We see Paul waltzing with Emma and kissing her hands. And even though he's not letting her get away, he's not trying to hurt her. He's not even trying to intimidate her. He's shown more than once bending down--getting on her level, like you would to a child--as opposed to towering over her.

The lyrics aren't messing with her either. Whereas Sam is manipulative and Alice is spiteful, Paul's lyrics are reassuring.

"I'm still the man you trust," is a lot different than "Don't you twust me?" when you get right down to it. It carries with it a connotation of 'I'm okay, and you will be too.'

"What if I told you I made it?" actively contradicts the 'I killed your loved one' narrative that Alice used with Bill.

It's not like Emma is buying any of it. She's still terrified. Paul doesn't need to hurt her or taunt her in order to scare her, just singing was enough. But it's clear that he's not trying to.

The hive mind gets a kick out of watching people suffer. Emma is the leading lady. You'd think that she's the one who should have the most brutal song. But she just doesn't. It seems like her song is trying to be the kindest.

We know it's implied that once they get infected, people are still conscious inside their musical doppelgängers (source: the line "your own body is your front row seat" as well as Sam breaking through its control long enough to say "Charlotte" before falling back under).

I think Paul was conscious during Inevitable. I think he knew that they weren't escaping this. I think he knew he was eventually going to kill Emma, and there was nothing he could do about it. But I think he didn't want her to suffer.

Instead, I think he resolved to give her as kind a death as he could. He would lie. He'd tell her he was happy and that she was safe. He'd be as gentle as the hive mind allowed. She was running out of time, so he'd love her with every second they had left.

(but that's just a theory...a musical theory... and cut)

[fenrichaita]

thinking about how the monster of The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals isn't aliens, or some higher god, it's conformity. Thinking about how TGWDLM illustrates the many ways that society asks us to conform --- toxic positivity, workplace culture, the threat of force, the threat of authoritarianism. I'm thinking about how so many of us have that fear of inevitability, how many of us are told we will "understand" and appreciate the cruelties of our society as we grow older. I'm thinking about how conformity presents as a sort of death of personality, of something fundamentally human being erased. I'm thinking about how the hivemind forced Mr. Davidson to forget his desires for his wife because it recognized they made Paul uncomfortable. I'm thinking about how Paul ultimately defended those desires to the hivemind because he recognized that they were fundamentally human. I'm thinking about the way that conformity invites us and promises deeper connections with others, connections that characters like Charlotte and Bill both wanted and were ultimately betrayed by via the hive. I'm thinking about the way that the characters in the play treated the hive like they would a B movie monster, and ultimately failed to destroy it, because they only destroyed a meteor and that's never where the hive originated. Like how the threat of Black Friday was "made in America", the hive was made from our culture.

[automaticheartcrusade]

What I like about Lex Foster is that she doesn’t treat Hannah like a burden. In Black Friday, she expresses her frustration about how she never even got her life started since she had to act like an adult at a young age, taking care of her alcoholic mother and getting a job. Then when Hannah was born, Lex had to take care of her too, practically being a mother figure to her and take her away from their actual mother who didn’t want to take care of them. And yet Lex doesn’t take her anger out on Hannah for this. Hannah if anything, is the best thing that ever happened to Lex, without her her life would be so much more miserable. Lex definitely isn’t perfect or innocent, she’s closed off, has a history with drugs and alcohol and canonically has been to jail before, but she loves her sister SO much and is willing to do whatever it takes to make her safe, even if it means giving up her own life or sacrificing her own happiness. And it’s the fact that she feels like she isn’t good enough for her sister that gets me. She has so much self loathing, part of her feels like Hannah would be better off without her, but the other part wants to be her protector and not let her go. I love the Foster sisters so much.

[antimony-medusa]

Feeling some kind of way in my emduo feelings about Phil confirming last night that HC phil being c!phil and q!phil is a multiverse situation and not a literal timeline, which means that as it turns out, a constant across all the universes of this character is either the presence or the references to Technoblade.

[fridayyy-13th]

btw, i firmly believe that if Jon and Martin had met under different, more normal circumstances, they would've gotten along like a house on fire

literally the only reason they were at odds was bc Jon was already stressed about being underqualified for the head archivist position, and that was exacerbated by the Dog Incident and the idea that Elias was waiting for him to slip up & had assigned Martin to the archives to keep tabs on him

hell, i think if they got along from the start, there's a damn good chance Jon would've fallen for Martin first. not by much, given; they're both the type to fall fast and fall hard, but still. (but it would probably take Jon longer to identify his feelings, so maybe it evens out)

[anodymalion]

The hero's sword arc of Frieren is only a single chapter but it's probably the chapter I think about the most... You have the classic sword in the stone that can only be pulled by the hero who is destined to save the world. So of course Himmel, the legendary hero, is the one who freed it.

Except: he didn't. He failed. He couldn't pull the sword from the stone. He wasn't the prophesied hero who would save the world.

And he went, okay, well, people really need a hero right now. So I'll just pretend to be one anyway. It doesn't really matter if I'm a fake or not if either way we're helping people.

And he did. He was a pretend hero. And they saved the world.

And now eighty years later there is no one left to remember that he never pulled the sword from the stone at all. It's easier to believe that he did, because he saved the world, so he must have been the destined hero. But he wasn't. The sword saw him and rejected him, and he simply went on anyway, because he wanted to help people, and that's what it takes in the end to be a hero, really. The four of them saved the world, and the true hero's sword sits quietly in a cave somewhere, rusting away, forever, unneeded.

[blackblooms]

I just really wanted to talk about VS yourself from the Hit Single Real mod of Friday Night Funkin.

It does a great job of communicating the essentials of its story through the way the song is presented. At first, boyfriend is meant by a creepy figure, which players would assume is some kind of evil doppelganger, but as the song progresses, you start to connect with yourself and eventually come to understand what he really wants as the song reaches its climax. Everyone of course talks about the amazing vocal part, but i think an underrated part of the songs are those brief but very hype segments where Yourself and Boyfriend begin singing and moving in sync. It's an obvious fit for the mirror imagery but i think it's also a great way to symbolize Yourself and Boyfriend managing to connect for a moment. Knowing the lore of Yourself definitely adds to the experience, but i think the essential part of the story is perfectly communicated through the song itself. Simply someone reaching out to an alternate version of themselves, seeking to find a voice that can empathize and relate to his pain and allow him to feel understood...

[bookwyrminspiration]

sisyphus moanin about that boulder when he doesn't even have to write a research essay with three strangers

[dungeons-and-dictions]

It’s another Analysis Friday, about Hazbin Hotel’s Lucifer and those pretty, pretty wings!

(Spoilers for Season 1 abound)

Did you notice that the angels have slight glows around them?

What makes this an Analysis Friday post is that Lucifer also has a glow! How does Short Duck Daddy have a glow when he fell from Heaven and created Hell? We all know he’s fallen, but what does that mean in the Hazbin world?

Lucifer speaks of angelic power and sacrificial lambs, pummels Adam as you would expect a powerful entity to do to a human, and keeps those amazing wings. There’s no way this is a true Hell form.

But we have more evidence to consider!

When Sir Pentious arrives in Heaven, he has a color palette shift and minor tweaks to his appearance. The same form is kept. This also makes me wonder if, had Lucifer been killed, would he have undergone changes too?

If you think about it, Lucifer makes complete sense. He’s not Hellborn like his daughter, and perhaps to strip Heavenly features would mean to kill them. Lucifer is also very good-natured. He never hits first, literally or metaphorically, for one. Lucifer seems to always just end the problem.

I personally also find him endearing because we have similar strains of depression - still functional, kind, and trying, just internalizing shame to the point it seems the world is against us always.

All of this lends evidence to my theory that only the environment and expectations of it determines whether someone is an Angel or a sinner. And by another theory of mine, being in Heaven or Hell has a lot to do with your mindset, too.

Despite creating Hell millenia ago, Lucifer has never fallen to the typical Hell stereotypes. He created it for one, making his analogy to Charlie in Episode 5 an exact comparison. Because he never had those connotations of what Hell should be like, he retained his Heavenly powers and features.

I’ll even bet he just reflavored to the pentagram visuals to separate himself from normal Angels!

And of course, this whole analysis begs a final question: how did Lilith gain her horns if she fell with Lucifer and not by normal human means?

[ferret-does-stuff]

IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM

[rockrosethistle]

I actually fucking hate Mr. Jägerman here's why

Mr. Jägerman is a character in the Hatchetfield universe who is never onstage and only mentioned in 1 (one) line. This was enough to ignite my rage.

It's because in this one line, so much is revealed about Max's character. So let's dissect that.

Max is mean. We know this. The very first thing established about him is how threatening he is. But I think his character often gets lost in the 'bully' identity, because just like every other Hatchetfield character, he is layered and complex.

We also find out two other things about him pretty much immediately: He has a crush on Grace (we'll come back to that) and he needs to feel in control.

There's a lot of evidence to support this. He repeatedly refers to himself as the 'god' of Hatchetfield High. He creates arbitrary rules around who his friends can date. He creates arbitrary rules around where the nerds are 'allowed' to go. And the moment someone implies he is not as powerful as he thinks he is, he retaliates violently.

This isn't just Max being a jerk. These are all signs of someone who is almost certainly deprived of control in their home life, which forces them to find it elsewhere. Max likely has little to no say in what happens to him at home. He's clinging to a sense of control wherever he can find it. And that line basically confirms that his home isn't a safe place for him.

Back to the crush on Grace, when you look objectively at the actions Max takes in the show, you'll find that he's not really a bad person, he's a mean person. He's a little shit that processes his need for control in the entirely wrong way, but people are shaped by their surroundings. The actions that come from him are different.

His crush on Grace only supports this. Every other bully in every piece of media sees the girl they like and whistle and say "yo lemme hit that." And if the girl rejects them, they resort to "tease bitch." Not Max. The first thing he does is start a conversation with her, laughs at (what he thinks is) a joke, then offers to carry her books. Like, I wish my highschool bullies were that nice to their own girlfriends.

When she rejects him, it's true that he continues to pursue her and calls her "dirty girl," but that once again comes back to his need to feel in control. But he doesn't get aggressive, he doesn't do anything that screams 'bully.'

We don't get a lot of scenes with pre-ghost Max. But when we do, they're interesting to analyze. Like, have you ever noticed that when he finds Steph in the Waylon Place, his very first instinct is to tell her, "Get behind me, I'll protect you" from, as far as he knows, actual ghosts? He feels like his life is in danger, but he's still putting Steph's safety first, despite having no interest in her romantically. That's huge.

There's even some evidence to support that Max terrorizing the nerds is, from his perspective, not so one-sided. When he finds out they were the ones who pulled the pranks, he says "I thought you guys hated me."

And he's open to change. He's not stubborn, he's not brutal. He doesn't continue hating the nerds just because it is what it is. Moments before his death, he is showing signs of opening up to them, and actually seems like he's coming around.

And none of this is meant as trying to defend Max's actions. I know he's the antagonist. I know he treats people unfairly. But all of this has to come from somewhere. I'm trying to say that there was clearly a foundation of a good person underneath all that cruelty. So what toughened his shell?

Mr. Jägerman. Max reveals in that one line that if he were to go back home from the 'party', his dad would call him a 'little cuck.' "can't even fight off one lousy skele'uhn." In this, he reveals his dad is demeaning to him. He's the kind of man who would hear that his son was in a life-or-death situation, and instead of comforting him, he would have made fun of him.

What must that do to a person? As someone who grew up in a home where Dad wasn't always a safe person to be around, I know that when I was younger, a lot of my bad bad behaviours were something I learned from him.

The prank meant to scare Max was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for him.

I think a lot of what happens in NPMD is indirectly Mr. Jägerman's fault. "Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein is the doctor, wisdom is knowing Frankenstein is the monster" type of shit. It is directly because of his actions and the way he treated his own child that any of this happened.

or maybe I'm reading too much into this. But I fucking hate Max's dad so much.

[ninjamelissajulien]

I'm gonna rant about Zane for a moment so bear with me

Zane's Motif is Humanity and Betrayal.

From his first conversations with the group, to his chapter book, to Night of the Nindroids, to Tournament of Elements, to SOG/Hunted/MOTO, to the Ice Emperor, to Crystalized, and now Dragons Rising- there is a repetition of Zane not being human. 'He's not like us'. 'He's weird... no, he's weird weird.'

Going into the Pilot Era (Season 0 through S1E6 The Snake King), Zane was always different in how he spoke, acted, and almost existed. Part of this is the brilliant voice acting by Brent Miller- he/Zane speaks very eloquently, a bit monotone but still full of emotion. "Yes. It was a joke. Ha, ha." "The Golden Weapons have left this realm and are now in the Underworld. The end is drawing near." Zane is blunt in how he speaks, yet internally he's in pain. He doesn't know where he comes from, where his family is, or who is family is. One of my favorite lines is from the early chapter books, Kai: Ninja of Fire. "I envy you." "No, I envy the fact that you know they're gone." Zane, at this point, is orphaned with no memory of his family. Kai decides to drop everything to help Zane find his old village and look for any sign of his past (fun fact: Zane and Kai are drugged in his book, I'm dead serious). Although, they do not find anything to help Zane and his past, it allows the pair to bond and grow closer.

In Zane's own chapter book, he is tempted by Garmadon for information about his past. If he gives up the Golden Weapons (and betrays his friends), Garmadon would tell him about his family and their whereabouts. This is the first of numerous instances of someone in power tempted Zane with something he desires, but to achieve it he would have to betray his friends. Zane is tempted. He misses the idea of what his family could be, the false idea of where he came from. Zane, of course, doesn't fall for it, but it's a lingering wonder of is Garmadon telling the truth? Did he really know who Zane's family was? Were they still alive, looking for him?

My favorite graphic novel, (other than the first volume, The Challenge of Samukai), is Night of the Nindroids. This book, taking place between the Art of the Silent Fist and Blackout, focuses on Zane and his feeling of isolation. Yes, he's a ninja, but he's a nindroid. Is he truly on the right team, or should he be with his own kind? In NITN, Zane is separated from the team and brought to the Overlord (Garmadon calls him a "toaster with attitude").

"What are you afraid of? Or can a collection of nuts and bolts even feel fear? No, you can't. Not fear, not hate, not even love, just imitations of those feelings. You are a robot. But I have the power to make you more! Defeat the other ninja for me, and I will transfer your mind into one of their bodies! I will make you human!" the Overlord to Zane.

On a side note: Night of the Nindroids is an incredibly fucked up concept. Zane would get to choose who's body he would take over, inevitably killing the original person. He chooses Kai, meaning (if) he went through with it, he would be living in Kai's body while Kai himself is dead. :)

Back to the point. Zane is tempted with the idea of becoming human. Of feeling emotions, of being able to get hurt, of "feeling the sun on your skin", of being normal. And, he does agree to work with the Overlord (as mentioned previously, choosing Kai's body to inhabit). He, single-handedly, takes down Cole, Jay, and Kai. Zane, though, doesn't want Lloyd anywhere near the events so he sends him away to bond with Sensei Garmadon, but he also sends Nya on a mission. He knows that Nya is intelligent and needs her out of the way for everything to succeed. Even the cover itself shows Zane's separation from the team; while Kai/Jay/Cole are caught, Zane is in front with his internal systems being revealed. He's even in his damaged appearance, showing the mechanics under his false skin. I won't spoil it, because it is a fantastic graphic novel, but it shows that Zane by himself is incredibly strong and powerful.

Tournament of Elements is the death of Human!Zane and the introduction of Titanium!Zane. In his previous appearance, he was able to pass as a human, unless he was drastically injured, but now, in his titanium form, it's even more obvious that he's different. He has PTSD and panic attacks from his encounter with Death. Zane, at this point in time, is the only one who's died and come back, further separating him from being human. But, I feel like, this could aid in his desire for humanity. He knows how precious life is, he knows how easily things can go from bad to impossible. His whole reasoning for living is "to protect those who cannot protect themselves"- from an outside perspective, it's a way for him to be a hero. But, on a deeper level, its almost a suicidal way of seeing things. He was built to face the danger so others wouldn't. Now, that's just my perspective on that.

The Oni Trilogy brings in Zane's cloaking. A way for him to be human again, while still being himself. He's able to switch between blending into the crowd in plain sight versus being himself. Though this does not change how he acts, it allows him a cover especially for when he needs to be hidden (Snake Jaguar).

Now. The Ice Emperor. Arguably the opposition to Zane himself. The Ice Emperor is what could've happened if someone found pre-pilot Zane and used him for their own selfish desires. Both start out as someone with no memories, no compass, just a lost child. Zane, pre-pilot, finds the village he later lives in and allows himself to be aided. Here, he is given things to do and ways to help others before being given the chance, by Wu, to find and better himself. The Ice Emperor is turned into a weapon. He's not allowed to think for himself, every decision is made and manipulated by Vex. The dialogue between IE and Vex is repetitious. The Ice Emperor is stripped of his humanity, betraying himself in the process. His powers are used to cause pain and suffering, killing Krag's family, freezing the Formlings, and causing a realm-wide ice age.

Even how the Ice Emperor sits on his throne shows how captive he is to Vex. Every time that IE moves from the throne, he has to shatter the layer of ice that forms over his arms/body. He's constantly asleep/powered down, possibly due to the amount of energy the Staff is demanding (especially for holding it for so many decades).

Crystalized is the closest Zane gets to voluntarily losing his humanity. the Ice Emperor was forcefully stripped from him, but Crystalized has him choose to lock his emotions away. He doesn't know how to deal with the grief of losing Nya. Even being with Pixal and Cole can't get him out of his depressive funk. It takes an outside perspective of allowing emotions out for him to see that its okay to be emotional, that being emotional is being human.

[automaticheartcrusade]

I’ve been thinking about Tom Houston a lot recently. Just imagining the night of the accident, it’s literally Christmas time, everything is going so well, until flash…bang. And he’s disoriented, but his first instinct is to check if Tim is okay, but when he looks to his right, there’s Jane, dead body just sitting there. And Tom can’t even process anything, it all feels so unreal. The cops come to aid and ask questions, but Tom is just trying to wake Jane up and she won’t budge. Then she’s rolled off away by the cops and Tim is probably shaking and crying.

And after that it’s all hell. He quits shop class, he quits being the Nighthawks coach. Emma comes to Hatchetfield at the announcement of her sisters death and funeral, and Tom probably can’t even face her at first, knowing that she might be boiling with rage. He then can barley eat or sleep, and when he does he’s having constant nightmares, or swearing he sees Jane at night. Not to mention he can’t even look at a car for some time without shaking and triggering his PTSD. Their house is stone cold quiet for weeks and it drives Tom to utter insanity. There’s so much unspoken yet visible pain that he gets a therapist for Tim, and maybe for some time, Tom goes to get therapy himself, but it doesn’t help. Thinking about the amount of times he and his son have sat in painful silence, how he desperately wants to help him but feel he can’t reach him. Like they’re sitting at the now quiet dinner table, and Tom wants to say something….fucking anything to comfort his son, but he can’t. He sees the sadness and loneliness in Tim’s eyes and it breaks him, he can’t take it. The guilt gets to him, he ruined his sons life, he ruined Emma’s life, he ruined Jane, he killed her, he killed his family, and he’s nothing without Jane. For awhile he wonders if Tim hates him now, and that self loathing part of him wishes he did.

Tom then just gets more miserable and depressed by the day. He starts putting walls up and begins to grow angry and bitter, pushing people like Emma away cause he feels he doesn’t deserve anyone, not even Tim. And I feel like Tim is also trying to reach him, trying to tell his dad that he needs emotional support and WANTS it from him, but Tom is so caught up in self loathing that he can’t notice, he’s so scared and worried, worried that he isn’t what Tim needs because he isn’t doing anything right and making things worse, yet he doesn’t know that he’s exactly what Tim needs. And it takes SO long for Tom to get back on his feet again and actually feel alive, feel like he WANTS to live instead of wishing he was the one who died instead of Jane. I just know it was an incredibly painful amount of months for everyone after her death.

[victoriadallonfan]

Rereading Ward, it’s very interesting how Victoria desperately wants to put on this facade of statuesque calm and implacable manner. Even without spelling it out, it feels like she subconsciously wants to be Brandish or Alexandria or Chevalier or arguably Scion: people who don’t break who don’t show any of their emotions and are steadfast about keeping to the job.

Except, that’s not true for them. Brandish, Alexandria, Chevalier, and Scion all break down at various points from the stress, all of them feel hampered by this facade more than anything, and it ruins nearly all but one of their lives.

And it’s especially not true for Victoria. She doesn’t like being this stiff upper lip person, despite her thinking it’s what she’s supposed to do.

Victoria is a passionate person: she likes making jokes and innuendos, she likes pulling pranks and having people pull pranks on her (in good fun), she likes being excited about nerdy shit and movies and music, she loves to hear people talk about their artistic passions, and she craves being able to help those who are dealing with traumas like herself.

She wants to be able to cry and love and hate.

And we see that it’s this side that compels her team to basically adopt her into their therapy group, it’s what helps Fume Hood find the confidence to stay a hero, it helps Ashley feel like she belongs and Kenzie like she can be loved. Rain feels like he actually has some on who will have his back, Sveta has a newfound sister, and the Capricorn twins feel she treats them with dignity and respect.

It even works on some of the villains she fights. Moose is basically her friend who can’t resist her passion for doing the right thing, Prancer finds her amusing but also identifies with her wanting something better than a life such as this, and when she’s trying to rescue the Old Man from the other villains - it’s her removing her mask and making herself more human, joking with them, that allows them to relent and play along.

Even in one of the darkest moments of the story, where Sidepiece is mocking Victoria for her rape, none of the other villains join in. Victoria is hurt, she’s offended, and she’s hating herself because of the comments said to her, but she notices the none of the villains think this is funny or seem comfortable with it. They don’t do anything about it, but it seems pretty clearly signaled that seeing this happen to someone who is visibly hurting is not something they agree with either.

And of course, her friendship and divorce with Tattletale, a person whom Victoria hated for her role in her wretching, but when they put aside the masks and bravado they find a commonality and love to people close to them.

And stranger still, they find themselves recognizing that they each sort of fill gap left by others in their lives, and grow to become deep friends even if it’s of the snarking kind. It’s Tattletale seeing Victoria broken by her power and Victoria seeing Tattletale broken from her trigger event that the first big steps to that friendship are made, and the deal is sealed when Tattletale confides in Victoria her own fears and vice versa.

Being this indomitable and implacable force of nature isn’t strength. It is arguably part of why the Simurgh was the final opponent and so terrifying. Human but not, a mere statue taking action with no care or concept of caring beyond The Mission.

Victoria being able to express her humanity and be vulnerable is what matters and what inspires people around her. And it’s very fitting that Chevalier, a person who, Victoria tried to emulate several times, realizes that maybe it’s time to follow what Victoria is doing and just… be human and vulnerable.

To rest and self care, and acknowledge that you need it.