#anakin's weird masculinity

[ohgodmyeyes]

something that endears me to anidala (and that probably also turns some other people off of it) is the completely unnecessary-yet-unabashed manner in which padmé indulges anakin's broken masculinity and deep-seated fear of inadequacy.

she lets him hold her to his chest and make all kinds of weird promises, acting for all intents and purposes as though he's her chief protector… when, in reality, he's pretty much the farthest imaginable thing from that. (*probably the most ineffective physical security she's ever had, actually, if we're thinking about it in those terms.) at no point does she ever actually need his protection, but she accepts the idea of it anyway — and she does that solely to preserve his sweet, beautiful, fragile little ego.

not because she's subjugated or because he's abusive (she's not, and he isn't), but because she loves him. she knows how damaged he is — how fleeting/precarious/turbulent his own confidence in his identity really is — and so she's willing to nurture what little genuine self-assuredness he has, just to make him happy: even when it's annoying, embarrassing, or dangerous for her.

she only (finally) puts her foot down when he loses his marbles and takes it way too far… and even then, she still tries her damnedest to give him a way out by offering to take him back to naboo, forget about what he did to all of those other people's kids(!!!), and let him be a husband & dad in spite of it — as if stopping right then means he's somehow not going to have to experience the consequences of his actions.

she loves him enough to want to shield him from practically anything, even if she has to use her own self to do it. she believes she can, because she knows she's strong: but anakin is still anakin, no matter how much anybody loves him... and so of course it doesn't work forever.

it can't, and it never could.

but that's why i love them so damn much.

[gladiatorcunt]

- # GIVE A FLY SOME HONEY !!

all roads lead to death valley

cw: southern setting & accents, sui ideation/thoughts, protected sex (are you proud of me), dead dove ending and undertones, sort of ambiguous, virgin cowboy!anakin x virgin afab!reader, ROTS coded!anakin, r2’s a horse, the force is in place of the christian God and is referred to as such at times, star wars being a fictional franchise in a star wars au fic, weird mix of a farm and a ranch, spanking, clit slapping, biting, reader’s inner freak has some crazy thoughts, mentions of humiliation and collaring/choking, anakin murders somebody (one scene of violence), what a heat advisory and the south’s sex education does to a mf, implied plus size and neurodivergent!reader, kidnapping????????????, mention of drugs, reader has a lot of internalized shame about where they’re from

wc: 4.2k (unedited)

what if instead of star wars it was called 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 wars

consider commissioning me!

Your unlucky streak rears its ugly head yet again. June was already shaping up to be a hot month, and your junkyard car wouldn’t start. You’re used to driving long stretches of road with nothing but livestock in fields to gawk at, it comes with the territory. But you couldn’t afford gas and decided to push your luck on the way back home, nevermind that the drive would be at least 20 hours. Moving to the city had its drawbacks, the road trip to and back being one of them.

“No, no. Come on, please work. Do you need me to fucking sing to you or something?” You groan, fruitlessly twisting your key in the ignition over and over.

Nope, “Tough shit.” Your engine mocks, death coughs sputtering out one after the other.

“ ‘You havin’ trouble?” A masculine voice shouts from behind you.

You get startled by the sound and gracefully slam your head up into the roof of the car as you turn around. You must look like quite the sight, clutching your now throbbing head and stumbling out of your broken down hand-me-down car on a long open road. Once you’ve blinked enough to adjust to the harsh sunlight, your eyes land on a tall muscular figure riding a horse. The clip clop of the horse’s dirty hooves on the gravel pierce your ears but the gentle sway of the man’s fluffy hair softens the blow.

“Um…. yes, sir. I am actually. My…. my car won’t start and I’m all out of gas.” You burn with embarrassment as you get through your explanation, trying your hardest not to throw up from the sheer social anxiety.

“Well that ain’t no biggy, I think I can help with that.” The man cocks his head and hops down from the horse, a white stallion with a few faded black-gray spots here and there. “Stay here, R2.”

You’re standing there dumbly, ignoring the tiny rocks digging into your shoes and the pounding in your skull as the cowboy wanders up to you. The sun bounces off his dark hat in a way that gives him a sort of halo, and you gape like a fish when he tips it down at you in a silent greeting, reaching out to shake your hand after. The silver spurs on his boots reflect sunlight directly onto your face, so you miss his open palm the first time.

His hand is rough, you can feel numerous old scrapes and cuts when you accept the gesture. But it’s so much bigger than yours, and there’s strange heat coming from his skin that you’re hesitant to pin on the southern summer sun. Too handsome, in a way that just can’t be possible, you quickly swipe a fingertip over his ring finger during the handshake and The Force must be looking out for you because there’s no ring. Not that you’re seeking anything out, but in the town you’re from, you’re lucky if anyone makes it past 18 without having a baby and getting hitched as a result.

Anakin tinkers away at your car for over an hour, finding more problems than just a lack of gas. Eventually he determines that you’ll die in this heat before you can back on the road, so he asks you to accompany him back to his ranch and he’ll send out one of his employees to bring your car around. You try to show him that you’re listening by ‘hm’-ing and nodding every so often, but it’s hard to rip your eyes away from a very attractive man bent over and sweaty while he’s fixing your car. You definitely do not want to cry when his flannel lifts up as he wipes the sweat on his forehead away with his greasy hand, revealing the slight softness over his muscles.

Since your car was no longer an option, Anakin grins as he gestures towards his horse, “R2’s a good horse, won’t give you any trouble. He likes to make a lot of noise and has an… acquired sense of humor, but I reckon we’ll get back just fine.”

He has you practice getting off and on the horse for a good while, the next step is letting you adjust to the feeling of being on one. You’d be embarrassed that Anakin’s having to teach you how to ride but his hands curl around your waist, keeping you steady and whispering in your ear to not be so stiff. Horses can smell fear after all, it’d suck to not only have your car be broken but your bones too. It’s a scene straight out of a cheesy romance novel, the kind that’s a tiny yellowed book sold almost exclusively in run down gas stations with a cover not far off from a porno.

Your cheeks are burning the entire way to the ranch, you relax as much as you can on an animal that’s a few hundred pounds of muscle with a searing hot body pressed right up against you from behind. It doesn't take long to get to your destination though, and before you know it sprawling fields bracket a mid size homey wooden building. There are some smaller pens for the cows to stay in and you follow their movement as an employee unlatches the gate and leads them out towards the left most field.

“They gotta switch pastures every so often.” He informs you, urging his horse into an energetic trot, “And it’s a good rule of thumb to have about an acre per cow.”

You tighten your hold on the reins and try not to focus on your fear of falling off. The pace of R2 isn’t one that you struggle to match but then again this is the first time you’ve ever ridden a horse in a long time. You’ve always been too skittish to do it regularly, and when you moved you got rid of the hobby entirely. You take a deep breath and let the horse’s movements travel through you, coming to enjoy the gentle jostling as you go. Anakin keeps his hands around yours on the reigns, making sure you don’t panic and seize up. R2’s not really beginner friendly unless he likes his rider, he has a tendency to just whinny and take off when the spirit moves him.

“The Force has done me good and given me a nice house on nice land, but it don’t mean nothin’ if i’m all by my lonesome. Ever since my dad passed and my ma’ died a few years after that, the workers and the cows are all I got, plus R2 of course.”

All right, he sinks into the jargon a little too much, but the way the sun accentuates the scar on his cheek makes it a charming quirk. You want to lick his teeth when he smiles, you think, before blaming it on an oncoming heatstroke. You’re no better than a man in this moment, and if you had seen him soaking up all of the attention in a crowded room in a bar you’d have no business being in, you like to think that you could pull him. You play with the slightly waxy feel of the leather reins, allowing the sensation of coarseness in the stitching to overpower any coherent thought.

“Why’d you name your horse R2?” You ask, ducking your head as you feel him guide the animal towards the stables.

“Oh uh, I was real wild over these sci fi movies from back when I was a kid. The hero had this robot called R2-D2, and I guess it just stuck with me.” He answers you with a shrug and a mild blush, curving his fingers around yours.

Your stomach warms at the feeling, but you refrain from returning the gesture, he probably isn’t even thinking that deeply about what he’s doing. He’s not obsessing over every square inch of skin that comes into contact with his own, not like you. You’re already missing the comforting weight of Anakin’s herculean body when he’s pulling the reins to stop R2 and hopping off, clamping his big hands around your waist and helping you down. You wobble for a bit and find your footing before you can pick up on how he momentarily froze in front of you, anticipating an easy opportunity to touch you again. Force, you really are stupid, bless your heart.

You glance up at him and start to say something but then you hear rustling in the bushes, Anakin must hear it too because before you can tug on his sleeve and tell him, he’s pulling his revolver out from its holster and striding off towards the sound. You’re quick to learn that he has a bit of a one track mind, especially when it comes to indulging the serpent twisting in between his ribs like a switchblade.

“I’ll be damned…”

You’re supposed to head inside and awkwardly linger around until your car is in good enough condition to get you back to Coruscant. The only thing is, you’ve now found yourself without your new security blanket, and your curiosity agrees with how much you don’t fucking want to speak to any of the people here without Anakin to hide behind. R2 loudly chuffs at you from his stall in the stables, either saying “That’s just how he is, leave him be!” or "What are you doing? You should obviously go after him!” You choose to believe it’s the latter, so you wander off into the distance, following Anakin’s lead.

You catch up to him quicker than you thought you would, and you have half a mind to scold him like a child if you weren’t catching your breath. All you can see is his wide shoulders because he’s hunched over something, your heartbeat quickens when you spot his gun being pointed at something. You circle around him to find a man squirming on the ground like a toddler, twitching every so often. Anakin seems almost enthralled by the desperate display, so he doesn’t notice you until you gingerly place a hand on his shoulder, soft and looking to soothe. Later you won’t remember the blood on the man’s temple or the matching stain on the muzzle of Anakin’s gun, because you didn’t witness that part.

He snaps out of it, turning his head to nuzzle his nose against your knuckles, “ ‘s alright, sweetheart, just a meth head too out of his mind to watch where he’s goin’. Had a knife with him, probably lookin’ to rob somebody blind.”

Your eyes flicker between him and the man, fully aware of how common stuff like drug addicts trespassing is and the old fashioned black and red ‘Trespassers Will Be Shot On Sight’ sign. You’ve grown up around guns, you’re more used to hearing them in a hunting or taking shots at beer bottles kind of way, but it’s not like Anakin’s the only one to have that kind of self enforced rule when it comes to his property. Still… killing a human man is different than making use out of a successful deer hunt, right?

“Maybe we should call the cops, he can’t hurt nobody like that…” You try to reason, casting a pitiful glance towards the cowering man.

There’s a scratch on Anakin’s face that’s still bleeding from the knife the guy had used before Anakin took it, it just barely missed his right eye, he could’ve lost it. You’ll ask to help him with it when you get back to the ranch, but you know that there’s no seeing to it right now. You don’t want to risk an infection just so you could brush your thumb across the wound, you’re not even sure why you want to, it’s like the urge just materialized in your head out of thin fog. Anakin gently shrugs your hand off and uses his free one to pull you against his chest, and it’s like you’re back on his horse, that same fear entwined with exhilaration like barbed wire. Your hearts are beating at the same pace, some folks say that’s how you know it’s love, that’s how you know it’s fate.

“You don’t got the stuff in ya to be a killer, that’s just fine, darlin’. ‘Cause I sure do.” His words dissolve into a previously unknown to you cold sneer.

Anakin clamps a burly, sweaty hand over your eyes as he empties the entire magnum into the tresspasser’s skull. The bright sun bounces off the brim of his hat, casting a shadow over his stormy eyes. He may not have let you witness the massacre, but you will never forget the sickening yelps the poor bastard gave to Anakin like prayer. And then he got put down in a more inhumane fashion than if he were a rabid dog. To your gracious host, there’s probably not a whole lick of difference. Between a wanderin’ sap and a deranged mutt, that is.

But there’s a far off expression on his face, maybe he was once at risk of having two bullets in his temple at the hands of someone unforgiving.

“Welp.” Anakin exclaims, making a point of slapping his thigh as he holsters his pistol. “Better head on home now, I reckon. Come on, honey, don’t want to lose you to the coyotes.”

It’s said like “kai-yohtes.” You balk at his teasing and obediently trail after him, a vulnerable duckling staying in line. The storm is hitting hard by the time you’re out of the woods, and you briefly wonder if the Angels up in heaven are gonna start bowling soon. A saying that got passed around in your family, when you and the ones before you would stare up in wonder and shiver in fear at the thundering purple skies as kids. You remember being surprised that one of the Angels’ bowling balls never fell down to earth, maybe it’d be somethin’ like a meteorite.

As is the case with many things, it’s easy to lose sight of the fresh corpse in the dry grass. Once you turn around and thread your finger through Anakin’s, dirtying them, it’s almost like that man never existed. There must be something wrong with you, sure the situation is so unimaginable that it would be hard to cope with, but shouldn’t you be feeling more guilt than you do? You feel bad, of course, but ‘easy come and easy go’ has always been the way of things in these parts. God giveth and God taketh away.

You’re back where you should be, a narrow dirt path going under a wooden fence to the ranch. Grand trees line the road forming a moss green canopy. A few workers are goofing off and playing a very amateur game of football, blissfully ignorant to the fact that Anakin can obviously see them from his place next to you.

It would be a peaceful place to die, a bright and clear afternoon-evening in the way that the world can only be when you’re about to leave it. That’s how you’d want it to feel, like you’re rowing a boat across the lake you used to go fishing at to see people you’d never thought you’d see again waiting for you. Fall leaves, blinding pale sun, a serene and calming quiet. You’d be the happiest you’ve ever been, skipping even though you never could as a kid. There’d be no sadness, only relief and a memento of everything that’ll only make sense when it’s someone’s turn to see you again. No buzzing from mosquitoes or chirping from crickets, only little lightnin’ bugs. Maybe you only get that kinda ending if you’re good, in the godly sense, if you come from something worth remembering.

Anakin raises an eyebrow and gently jostles you, and just like that your train of thought is derailed. He chalks it up to shock, and nods his head towards a clearing behind the building. A change of plans. You follow, as you are wont to do.

“That rat bastard had it comin’ to ‘im, hun.” He tries to reassure and squeezes your hand, imploring you to see reason. “The Force decided it was his time, sweet thing.”

You shake your head, not disagreeing, just in utter disbelief. “I just… most everyone in my life I've known that’s died did it when I wasn't there. I’ve never had to actually be there when they… you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” And that’s all he says, regardless of the truth.

It’s what you need, somehow he just understands exactly what that is. You’re starting to think that you certainly don’t have a damn clue. You look up at him again, really drinking in every facet of his entire being that you can latch onto and obsess over. You’re remembering why you were so anxious to get out of this sinkhole, it’s a miracle you ever got out of it in the first place. His hair’s all messy, dark curls strewn about like a windswept bale of hay. A storm is brewing in his eyes, like he could Earth to rotate in the opposite direction if he wanted it to. He works his jaw around in a weird way to get rid of the soreness after grinding his teeth.

It’s tantalizing, being the hand holding a man on the edge back from wreaking his God given havoc.

You dot a quick peck on his cheek, scrunching your nose up at the barest hint of prickly stubble.

His eyes widen, and the sun itself shines brighter. The cutest light dusting of pink spreads across his face, so he one ups you by pressing your lips together. It’s exactly how a first kiss should feel, a simple gesture that leaves you breathless and with more butterflies than a flower garden swarming in your tummy. There’s no fireworks, but you can hear wind chimes and birds singing as your lips glide together, the meeting of your tongues is so natural that you won’t be able to remember when his slipped through the seam of your mouth. You want to keen as he maps out your teeth, his spit has to have some kind of aphrodisiac in it.

Anakin works your jeans open and off your legs completely, his pupils expand when he sees your thick thighs in all their glory but he keeps himself from slapping them and acting like they’re the only part of your body. There’s an ever growing to do list in both of your heads, your combined inexperience brings a flurry of perverted ideas and porn scenarios to recreate with it, and you’re sad that you’ll very likely leave with none of them being fulfilled.

He yanks the collar of your tank below your chest, immediately leaving over to bite your cute breasts with all the grace of a rattlesnake. He doesn’t try to make any marks, he just wants to bite wildly and with reckless abandon, like he’s using your tits to self soothe. You’d do the same if he let you at his pecs to be fair, his chest is practically as big as yours if not bigger.

“This means somethin’ to me, hear that? ‘m always gonna remember my first.” He spits, clutching onto your bruised tit like he’s a split second away from sinking his hand into your viscera and dumpster diving for your heart.

He pauses pawing at your tits to reach in his back pocket and pull out a condom. It’s crumpled and the packaging is worn by rubbing against the denim of Anakin’s jeans, you can tell that he’s excited to finally put it to use. You’re glad that there’s some safety measures being taken, but your heart swoops in disappointment at the dose of reality. It’s the kind of thing that calls for the most diabolical, unhinged, strings of goopy fluid hanging from his balls as they slap against your rippling ass, raw sex. You don’t let yourself pout, Anakin’s making good use of the only working brain cell between the two of you. You scoot back on his lap to give him room to pop to button on his pants and whip his dick out. It makes a heavy ‘thwop!’ as it slaps against Anakin’s abs.

Your mouth waters at the sight, so thick with the just right amount of curve, it would scratch your throat perfectly. His hands shake harder as he rips the condom’s packaging open with his teeth and rolls it on his twitching length. You take a deep breath, finding comfort in the tense muscles on Anakin’s shoulders through his warm flannel. He curls a hand around the base of his cock and grasps it tightly, positioning it right under your empty hole. You’re lucky he didn’t have to tell you what to do, because working yourself down every inch would’ve been much more painful if you already needed to be taught a lesson. It’s weirdly sweet, the chaste pecks he presses along your nose and jawline as you adjust to what feels like a tree log forcing your tender folds to stretch around it. Your slutty body tries to twist itself in a pretzel with the way you’re swiveling your hips, trying to get more of Anakin’s dick inside of you when you’ve miraculously already swallowed him to the hilt.

“I want this pretty pussy weepin’ for me, I’m awfully sorry honey but i’m not stopping till it’s gushin’ all over me.” He speaks in between wet kisses up and down the column of your throat.

“Mmm- It’s okay, I want it like that, Ani. Promise- oh my god, so big.”

You make him feel like a man trying to outrun a forest fire only to get swept up in a tornado. Like there’s a fever in his brain that’s gotten into his blood, black tar dripping into his liver. Drives a man to drink so he can have a sliver of that feeling, that scalding need not even God could give you. There’s no finesse or coordination to anything, his lips frantically scurry along random spots on your upper body. His upward thrusts are heavy hitting and wrangle your breath out in stuttered gasps, he moves as if he were riding a horse, following only the imagined scent of old blood. Anakin’s cock is so big your walls could rip if he wasn’t always keeping a sharp eye on how much he’s bullying you. He doesn’t try anything crazy like fucking your cervix, it might shock you so much that you remeber exactly how long it’s been since he’s had your car “taken to the shop”.

His spurs dig into the dirt as he slaps your ass, the material of his gloves adding an extra bit of ‘umph!’ to the resulting sting. Anakin’s jeans are so warm against your ass that it takes a few more spanks before you really get the urge to bend over his lap and tell him to just have at it until you sob. You’re on an ecstatic high, living in the present with a near stranger’s dick balls deep inside of you. His eyes gleam gold when you make eye contact, and you find it so easy to fall down the rabbit hole, letting this man burn away all your responsibilities until he’s the last one left standing in a sea of ashes.

You don’t mind that he stops talking eventually, switching to gruff grunts and harsh yells. ‘Don’t be so stiff, let the movement roll through you.’ Anakin digs his fingers into the meat of your jiggling ass and delivers a final smack to both cheeks. You sigh in relief, but then you snap out of your cockdrunk haze to yelp at the cruel hit to your swollen clit.

“Need ya to keep squeakin’ sweets.” He orders. “Don’t want the townsfolk to think I fucked your brain out your ears.”

It’d be polite to make conversation with the people you meet when Anakin parades you around with his hat on your head later, something of a pre engagement tour. If the Force is good, you’ll be willing, because rope burn isn’t something you want to become your new normal.

“Chin up, buttercup,” He says almost bashfully despite how hard he’s pounding your puffy cunt, “We can get some ice cream at the fair after if ya like, make it a cute little second date.”

You whimper and harshly pull his hair, earning you a throaty moan and another slap to your clit, saying yes to him like you’ve already done a million times. You thought that the pure social anxiety of being around so many of Anakin’s employees would be nerve wracking, it’s nothing compared to having to speak to them AND keep their boss’s cum from oozing down your leg. Anakin’s discarded belt catches your eye when a sharp thrust sends your head falling back, and you picture the scuffed up belt buckle as the O shaped ring of a more traditional collar. The black stains from working on your car only add to the appeal, it scares you exactly how much you’d let the man fucking you with a cheap gas station condom get away with. You’ve already heard him kill a man, finding yourself in a relationship is pretty much the natural next step.

When he cums deep inside with a hoarse growl, there’s the sound of a bear trap slamming shut on an unsuspecting bunny rabbit. Your simultaneous orgasm is the tiny squeal it makes before it dies.

“I forgot to ask, hun, what stuffed animal do ya want me to win for ya?”

- faetreides 2024. do not repost, translate, or put my works into ai

[skygirlstars]

❤️🧡💛🏳️‍🌈 for unpopular asks game!

yayy thank you for the ask!! this was so fun. it's yappin' time

❤️: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

this is a tough one because there's so many lol. Barriss (not a villain), Han (not a player), literally SO many of the Jedi, the list goes on. but I think Luke is one of the most interesting cases because I feel he's mischaracterized in different ways by different sides of the fandom. there's the dudebros who think he's just badass, which he is, but nothing else. his most important character trait is quite literally his compassion because it drives the plot of the whole OT. he's a kind and empathetic person, not some embodiment of toxic masculinity bullshit. on the other hand, there's the poor little meow meowfication and infantilization of him from another side of the fandom. yes he's a ray of sunshine but that doesn't mean he can't be tough too!!! he's nice but he also has zero tolerance for bullshit, is headstrong and stubborn, and the furthest thing from shy. many people (myself included) headcanon him as gay or bi and that characterization of him also enforces really harmful stereotypes and narratives about queer men. so in summary, a lot of the fandom mischaracterizes him through a lens of either toxic masculinity or harmful stereotypes. not fun. that got way longer than it was supposed to be, whoops 🙃

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

in-universe: that Padmé was somehow manipulated into loving Anakin, whether by Anakin subconsciously using the Force, or by Palpatine, or whatever. nope, my girl Padmé just has horrendous taste in men (case in point: my least favorite SW character, Clovis 🤢). she saw the red flags and decided red was her favorite color. stay delusional queen. out-of-universe: DISNEY LUCASFILM IS NOT GOING TO RETCON THE SEQUELS FFS. that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard sorry not sorry. Disney admitting they made something not good??? not possible. I can't believe people still honestly believe this. the sequels are not my faves either but with the amount of money made off them anyway, a retcon is not happening

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

do we consider Reylo popular??? it's very divisive so idk if it counts. but I hate it lol, it's the yucky toxic BookTok type of enemies to lovers. bro deadass tortured her. me personally, I wouldn't let that slide. they also feel like Force cousins or something in a weird roundabout way...? we've already had one incestuous kiss in SW, don't need another. also Rey is lesbian imo. if we're not counting Reylo as popular, I quite dislike Sabezra just because I see them very much as siblings. honestly, any ship where I see the characters as siblings feels icky to me -- Anisoka, Rexsoka, Obikin, etc (although siblings vibes is not my only complaint with those examples, unlike Sabezra).

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

quite honestly I think this is the hardest one for me because I headcanon so many characters as queer HAHA. my personal philosophy for fictional characters is bi until proven otherwise lol. maybe Ben Solo/Kylo? idk how much he's HCed as queer but I think he and Hux are shipped fairly often and I just don't see it lol. that's a straight man, I'm afraid. but he's really the only one I can think of off the top of my head, though I'm sure there are more

here's the original ask game if anyone else wants to have a go or wants me to answer any others (please send me asks I love asks I love yapping)

[phoenixkaptain]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

I think I have answered this question before, but I don’t mind because I like talking about ny favourite characters!

(And my favourite characters change hourly, so-)

I can’t rank them, I love them all equally, but my current favourites:

1. Luo Binghe from Scum Villain Self-Saving System. I can’t help it. Fanon likes to paint him as comical, at times, but I love how competent he is! He just… would like to be a housewife. Preferably his Shizun’s housewife… and, he is, as Shen Qingqiu says himself, the type of person to smile to your fave while sliding a knife in your back and I love that for him

2. Quan Yizhen from Heaven Official’s Blessing. He throws a bed at Pei Ming. He’s obsessed with his shixiong and beats up his own followers for badmouthing him. He’s smart enough to realize that everyone thinks he’s stupid, therefore he can use obvious tricks because nobody thinks he can fool them. There’s a scene where Xie Lian and Quan Yizhen both praise something for being beautiful (I think it was the Brocade Immortal’s fighting) and even Ling Wen is like “You know I’m trying to kill you right?” He’s great :)

3. Tim Drake from DC Comics. The third Robin, the one most similar to Batman, the world second greatest detective. Can sneak up on Superman and managed to stalk Batman. Was going through a lot and tried to clone his best friend. The quintessential perfectionist. I headcanon that he plans his dates out on corkboards and no one will convince me otherwise. Also, his relationship with Ra’s Al Ghul in his Red Robin run was comedy gold.

4. Artemis Fowl from the books of the same name (I’ve never seen the movie and like to pretend it doesn’t exist). Fakes his own death multiple times and steals gold from fairies and is altogether a criminal mastermind. There’s a scene in the first book where Holly Short (the other main character) tells him to stay put and she’ll bring him back a lollipop (mocking him). She leaves and he mutters “But I don’t like lollipops.” Also gets made fun of for having a girly name, which I can relate to since I was made fun of for having a masculine name.

5. Shen Qiao from Thousand Autumns. God, he’s just the best. He is absolutely infuriating. He has the patience of ten thousand men. Began the book waiting for him to snap, then realized that I didn’t want him to lose his temper because that would make Shen Qiao sad and Shen Qiao deserves all the happiness in the world. His martial brother pushed him off of a fucking mountain. Yan Wushi names a deer after him. Have you ever seen baby Shen Qiao? Qiao-er?? The cutest little fella, the sweetest bean, has never done anything wrong in his life.

6. Marth from the Fire Emblem series. There’s a scene in the remake of the first game where, after you recruit one of the characters during a fight, Marth can talk to him. The character is like “I understand if you don’t trust me.” Marth: “Why wouldn’t I trust you?” “I literally tried to kill you fifteen minutes ago.” Marth: “The past is in the past.” Marth is just the most polite boy. He was the first male character to be included in the FEH Bridal Event and he is… so cute…

7. Mara Jade from Star Wars. Specifically Mara Jade in the Thrawn trilogy. She is loyal to Karrde because he was nice to her. She wants to kill Luke so bad, but she can’t because if she doesn’t find out why he’s so weird before she kills him, she’ll never be at peace. Darth Vader’s coworker. “Who’s this “son of Vader” you keep mentioning?” -Mara Jade, while sitting next to the son of Vader they keep mentioning. Mirrors Anakin and I just love that for her (especially since he went good -> evil and she went evil -> good, they mirror each other babeyyy) She’s like “Are you sure you don’t want me to murder this creepy old guy?” The straightman in her and Luke’s relationship and it is so funny that the literal ex-Dark Jedi is the normal one.

8. Hiwatashi Nazuna from BNA. She is in love with Michiru. Anyone else: “Your agent is weird.” Nazuna: “Shut up you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Michiru: “Your agent is weird.” Nazuna: “You make a great point and I’m going to start distancing myself from him right away.” The trickiest trickster to ever trick trickers. She is willing to kill for Michiru and it’s honestly very relatable.

9. Kudou Shinichi from Detective Conan. The dumbest man alive. Also the most dramatic man alive. Obsessed with Sherlock Holmes and infodumps about him constantly. Is terrible at pretending to be a child, literally nobody is convinced, but Conan is so cute, how can they say no to him? Has the strongest moral compass of any character (aside from maybe Shen Qiao) and the world is lucky his moral compass is so strong, because if he decided to be evil, no one would be able to stop him. My favourite moments are the ones where innocent little Conan-kun smiles and says horribly dark things that even make the murderer scared. Absolutely terrifying, at seventeen and seven, good for him.

10. Tianlang-jun from Scum Villain Self-Saving System. I know it’s another character from Scum Villain, but hear me out. He is absolutely insane. He decides to destroy the world because everyone thought he wanted to. He barters with Su Xiyan over how attractive his face is. He asks Zhuzhi-lang if he thinks he’s ugly. He is a pure-hearted innocent maiden and also the most powerful character in the book. He only loses to Binghe because he was stuck under a mountain for over a decade, and his body is rejecting his demonic qi and falling apart. He makes a coffin look like a throne and is intimidating as fuck, then asks Shen Qingqiu to help him up and his arm pops off. And he just says “Dang. It happened again, Zhuzhi-lang.” My favourite red herring of all time, I just want to pat-pat his head.

These are the current ones. Shout-out to Yan Wushi from Thousand Autumns, who spends the entire novel fucking with Shen Qiao then has the terrible realization that he fell in love with Shen Qiao. Also, he made a very convincing woman. Also also, as I was looking through my notes on Thousand Autumns, I was reminded that he has the truly remarkable ability to ruin Shen Qiao’s reputation without even being present. Amazing! Second shout out to Bai Rong, also from Thousand Autumns, who gets a crush on Shen Qiao and offers to become his sugar daddy. A lot of characters try to seduce Shen Qiao, but Bai Rong was my favourite because she was just so… cute about it.

I like a lot of characters… Thank you for your ask :)

[maeve-on-mustafar]

I love the idea of goth!Anakin using goth culture to combat toxic masculinity. Maybe in this timeline, he becomes such a social sensation that he gets on the Council via popular demand?

@lamaenthel Mace’s weird edgelord nephew is back!

Based on this post https://www.tumblr.com/galactic-rhea/748939265180860416/you-know-what-would-have-fixed-anakintm-if?source=share by @stealingpotatoes because it was TOO FUNNY to not do something about it NKJLSDFSDF

Hold on here because now there's more

[speechlesslili]

“I thinkkk it would be weird,” I nod a little, “to her. But thank you.” I rub his shoulder gently and then head inside with him.

“Mé?” He calls, looking around to make sure she didn’t leave anything out that could reveal their… recent activities. Like her bright pink strap-on that she completely took his masculinity away with. Several times. And then left it out for her dinner party guests to ogle over.

Padmé comes out of the bedroom in a flowy gown, giving you both a soft smile. “Hello. What are you both doing here?” She was just expecting Anakin.

[starwarsshippings]

i’m sorry but clone wars anakin looks 35 with 3 kids at home

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I dislike it when Anakin stans try to defend the PT and Anakin specially by crapping on masculinity and calling it “toxic”. That’s not it.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Dear Elanor

I have a question about hair. I know you are the foremost expert on not being an expert about hair and so I'm choosing to speak to you instead of people who have studied this subject far more in depth than you and most certainly me. You see I have Celtic ancestors on one side and the Germanic ones on the other and for a very brief period in secondry school I had lovely, wavy auburn in the right light hair. And then everything went odd??? I believe there to have been a war somewhere in my genes and barring all evidence to the contrary have settled on this as the only possible reason. My hair has gone straight. I've tried all the CGM things and stolen my wife's bristle brush and my hair resolutely refuses to be anything but thick and occasionally poofy (when the brush is involved I end up looking quite like a tribble held up to a balloon) and even more confusingly settled itself on a sandy blonde that had I not already worked on my toxic masculinity issues would lead me to a life of a very successful Dean Winchester cosplayer. But there were three delightful years when I had Anakin hair a la revenge of the sith. Minus the grease. And I can't for the life of me figured out what happened or how to get the fun wibbles back. Even when I tried growing it out again recently it was just like 'ah, no, you see, we shall be the only straight thing about you and you shall suffer under the weight of it and force yourself to do an even more confusing gender thing and buy hair clips because we as the collective on your scalp have come to a common agreement without you,' and I'm just wondering, if you maybe know something in the deep magic not at all rooted in any kind of science because if I go to Actual Hair People they will tell me science things and I am not interested in their science that comes seriously and with no hint of long suffering or tangents and also products that I'm sure cost a great deal of money. Do you know, Elanor? Do you know what witch or ghost or ancestor I have somehow upset/wronged/accidentally pleased somehow? Things I have attempted: - going outside, turning around three times and spitting - asking the cats to intercede on my behalf - not washing my hair at all for a month and seeing if that shocks it into behaving (look, isolation got weird and my hair only got straighter,) - writing a letter to my dear departed irish gaelic professor in hopes that he might know something only to feel terrible about writing the letter in english because i never actually learned how to be literate in class - observing a oujia board from a distance and nodding solemnly - staring at the bottom of a quarry like the vast abyss of stone might somehow do A Thing. It did not. It did, however, unlock many thoughts. - the bristle brush - a return to asking the cats who were less amused this time than they were the first and gave me a great deal of their hair as though I should somehow be pleased and honoured with this gift. it got up my nose and I was neither so I'm beginning to suspect their involvement My sympathies to you upon your receipt of this message.

Hmm. Okay.

You need to buy some good cheese, probably three wheels, and maybe some good white bread to be on the safe side (bonus points if home-baked, but don't go trying to make it super soft or super hard). Then you need to find a faerie-infested Welsh lake. I'd recommend Llyn y Fan Fach, probably, because it has a pretty good hit-rate with water fey, so the odds are pretty good. Go at dusk, when the light plays tricks on you. Bring no iron or salt. If you see a faerie ring, DO NOT STEP IN WITH BOTH FEET.

Drop a cheese into the water - and the bread if you brought that - and ask for your curls back. For bonus points you should probably do it in Welsh? Maybe demonstrate at the water by curling a lock around your fingers for good measure. Tell them the cheese is a gift.

Return on the second night and do it again. Drop a cheese in, ask for the curls, tell them it's a gift. NO IRON.

On the third night, do it again. If it's worked, this is the night they'll reply. Most likely they'll give you a comb, or an oaken rod about which to wind your curls, or a faerie ointment, or some other thing. Listen carefully to the instructions, though, and don't deviate from them. Also Welsh faeries almost always add that you shouldn't reveal where you got their gifts from, and if you tell ANYONE they will take them back and fuck you up, so that's pretty likely. Whether it works or not, tell everyone it didn't.

If it doesn't happen on the third night, then it's Request Denied, I'm afraid. The origin of your curse is likely not Welsh (that or you bollocksed up one or more steps; it's easily done.) I wish you luck, friend.

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

When You Weren’t Looking — pt. 2/?

PROFESSOR!OBI-WAN KENOBI x READER

PART 1

an au where you and you literature professor realize you both have things to learn about love, and yourselves, outside of class. (as we all know, this can only be done through a big scoop of angst and a smutty cherry on top)

summary: you and obi-wan have begun to enjoy simply spending time together in his office

warnings: language maybe, tb to filler sentences i actually used in my essay rough drafts

a/n: not my fav but it’s little bit of a set-up for the next chapter which is when things get real interesting hehe. also i didn’t edit a lot sry :/ but if the spacing is weird it’s bc of tumblr not me lol

words: 1,342 once again a lil short

It had been a couple of weeks since you’d begun to show up to Professor Kenobi’s office after every one of your classes with him. Your initial purpose for being there was just to file papers and organize things in his surprising very messy office. You had pegged your professor as someone who preferred for things to remain immaculate at all times, his beard always trimmed so neatly and his shirts always pressed to perfection. The more you thought about it though, the more it made sense.

It was a known fact, mainly due to his impromptu rants during class, that he loved what he taught. He breathed in knowledge and books, a true intellectual, and the articles scattered on every surface of his office were probably objects of comfort. The books, mugs drained of tea(many of which had horrendous puns), and various trinkets and collectibles such as labeled kyber crystals, all reflected his interests. He was familiar with his passions and it made his office safe and pleasant for him to be in.

While you still spent some of your time cleaning, most of your two hours with the professor ended up allowing you to rewrite your essay and finish assignments for other classes. He even let you grade some small homework assignments for him.

Anakin you’re out of a job

Professor Kenobi also felt that it was important to make sure you knew he was always there if you needed help. There was a sincerity to his offer that you appreciated. On occasion, he would even ask you for your opinion on something he had just read. The idea that he valued your opinions which could be considered amateur, flattered you immensely. These little here and their actions always spawned an engaging conversation—before he made you get back to work of course.

“fair enough,” you shrugged in response one time after he told you to start “dusting or…something” again. He let out a small breath of a laugh that made you feel warm.

Part of you felt like he always stopped the conversation when you had both begun to be truly invested in what the other was saying. That point usually came with neither of you finding the desire to break eye contact anymore. Sometimes you thought of his gaze for hours after you saw him, the gaze that you had committed to memory by now.

Your preferred spot in the office was a seat adjacent to his, a large oak desk in between you two. There was something about the way he leaned over that large oak desk though. He sat in a wooden swivel chair that presumably came with the table, to which he added a small back pillow. His glasses had slipped slightly down his nose, tie discarded in favor of unbuttoning the top of his collar. He looked exactly like the idea of a classic professor. You found something appealing about it. it didn’t project overt masculinity, and yet somehow it made him seem strong and whole, like he was made of the same polished oak. You couldn’t deny that noticing the maturity he wore was attractive.

Not to be a traitor to your generation, but the men your age weren’t men to you, not in a classic sense anyway. They were closer to your idea of boys, lacking the confidence and the thoughtfulness that showed in everything that your professor did.

You weren’t afraid to admit that it was a little bit hypocritical of you, seeing as how you weren’t exactly the most studious individual either. You didn’t think it was cocky to consider yourself smart, as did many of your teachers, but you were also pretty easily distracted and had to take a break from staring at your screen once you had begun to get too fidgety. Today you were pacing slowly around the room, the tips of your fingers reached out to glide along a surface or a book.

As long as I get my work done, which I always do

“I think you’ve done a few miles by now,” Professor Kenobi said. You could see the small upward tilt of his lips.

“I can't walk in here?” you asked playfully.

“Please, by all means, do what you like, but I can't help but ask, well, aren’t you tired of it by now?” He had turned to face you by now.

“busy thinking I guess,” your mind was in fact reeling at the moment.

“about?” he inquired.

“wouldn’t you like to know.” a teasing smirk on your face. You had grown bolder with each conversation you had with him. He had become more relaxed, easier to joke with. He had a dry and sarcastic humor. another thing you didn’t expect but found that it fit him.

“I would actually. I can never tell what you’re thinking, darling, but I’ve found it’s always something compelling,” That was a recent development. He had taken to calling you darling casually. You assumed it was just…British. They called each other “love” all the time in movies. He could call any woman darling, it was just an endearing term. Still, it made you feel special like you weren’t just another student, and you couldn’t deny that it always caused you to look at the floor in case the heat you felt was in fact a blush. But, that train of thought, of any…attraction, was a dead end you wanted to avoid, and yet you always failed to do so.

“Was that a compliment from the Professor Kenobi?” you pressed your hand to your chest in an exaggeratingly flattered expression.

“If you’d like it to be,” there was a tiny glint in his eye that you would’ve missed if you weren’t already studying how blue they were.

“Well then thank you, Professor,” you added a subtle tilt in your voice when you addressed him. you would never intentionally flirt with him, but it slipped out in such a way.

His cheeks had a fresh tinge of pink and he shifted slightly in his chair before clearing his throat.

“I do have another compliment for you though,”

“Oh I like this,” you laughed lightly.

“I’m already regretting this,” he jokingly rolled his eyes.

“Aww,” you responded in false disappointment.

“But y/n, in all earnest, you’ve made immense progress, and I’m very proud,” he smiled at you with such softness.

You smiled, filled with pride by the praise that had come from someone who you admired. That smile quickly dropped when you realized, how could he have read your essay? You had shown him some of it but that was at the very beginning when you had barely changed much.

“How could you know?”

“You do know I have access to your document since you already submitted it before don’t you?” Your eyes widened in horror as you thought about the very thing he started to mention.

“I do enjoy the filler sentences though,” he looked down at his laptop, presumably at your essay. He cleared his throat. “blah blah insert bullshit or quote later—“

“Oh my maker! That’s a total invasion of privacy!” You ran around to his side of the desk to look at what part of your essay he was on. You only realized few moments later that he had turned his head towards you as you leaned over his shoulder. His face was so close to yours, and his lashes so long that you swore they could brush up against your skin if you leaned in a bit further. Neither of you moved for a moment until… whatever that interaction was… was cut short by a buzz coming from his phone. He hesitated to turn away from you for a second before picking up his phone. saying hi to whoever was on the other end.

You noticed the clock behind him signaled that it was time for you to go. You gathered your things quietly and whispered a quick goodbye, to which he shot you a smile and a light wave. You returned the smile, and it stayed on your face as you walked out the door and all the way down the hall.

PART 3

[the-far-bright-center]

I hesitated to share my thoughts on this because, despite the fact I can be quite critical of TCW at times (mainly for certain uneven tonal and writing choices, and issues I have with specific episodes and dialogue), I am actually in agreement with the final two posters' comments. When I have more time, I want to write a huge separate post regarding why I feel this way, but for now I just have to speak up in agreement. I think the problem is that certain film!Anakin fans are attached to an idea of the character that is not quite...expansive enough to factor in all his various facets. People forget that Anakin was first portrayed not only by the Original Trilogy actors (James Earl Jones, David Prowse, and Sebastian Shaw), but also by Jake Lloyd in TPM. TCW Anakin has a great deal of TPM's little Ani in him, and I personally don't mind that at all. ('Skyguy' can even be seen as a reference to 'my, my this here Anakin guy' from the Weird Al 'The Saga Begins' song.) Please don't mistake me: Hayden's performance in AotC and RotS is iconic. I adore it and I will always staunchly defend his Anakin, who remains my own personal favourite. However, I think some fans misinterpret Hayden Ani and have this idea that PT Anakin is nothing but a perpetual sad-boi who is openly crying all the time. It's simply not the case. It may come across that way since we mainly see him at pivotal moments in AotC and RotS. These are huge turning points in his arc, when all his intense emotions boil over and spill out. But a) he is not like this every moment of the day, and b) he is not supposed to be a static character. Anakin changes greatly between AotC and RotS, that's kind of the point. He grows in capability and confidence (with regards to his own abilities as well as his interpersonal relationships), and in his Force powers, too. It's like people forget that Anakin Skywalker is CANONICALLY an extremely powerful Force user as well as a highly competent starpilot and capable and charismatic general in the Clone Wars. (Ok, sometimes the TCW series makes him seem a tad too buffoonish for comic relief, but we also see moments of his true military daring and brilliance.) The RotS novelisation even portrays him as such. That famous quote about how he is the best there ever was and he knows it. Also that observation Mace makes that Anakin walks and moves and has a 'presence' like the Holonet hero he is. And indeed, the fact Anakin is known as 'The Hero With No Fear' shows that he has a very dashing 'persona' that he is known for publicly but which merely masks the inner turmoil he's experiencing. We see more of that inner turmoil in the films simply because, as the viewers, we are there to observe his private moments with Padme, who is one of the few people he actually expresses his emotional struggles *to*. Traditionally-masculine heroes are supposed to be stoic (not overly emotional) and self-sufficient (not needing to rely on anyone other than themselves). Ironically, this is what the *Jedi* want him to be. And Anakin's tragedy is that he's struggling to fit into the Old Order's mold and adhere to it....when in reality it's not what he needs. He needs the space and permission to openly feel and express his intense emotions before they overwhelm him. Likewise, he is repeatedly shown to desperately need the presence of his loved ones around him in order to hold onto the best parts of himself. A male character being portrayed as *needing* others at all in the first place is the very first sign that he's not just some male power fantasy.

All in all, the idea that TCW Anakin is solely reduced to a 'macho' ideal is not accurate. I still see him very similarly to film!Anakin: as a commentary on how attempting to mold a loving young boy into an obedient slave Jedi weapon of war will ultimately backfire when that young man is eventually consumed and enslaved once more by the very darkness he was fighting. While the literal shedding of his tears may not be shown on-screen during the TCW series, the intensity of his emotion is. The desperation he feels to hold onto his loved ones at all costs absolutely comes across. And, like film Anakin, I would argue that TCW Anakin is portrayed, not as aspirational, but as a pathetic figure. (‘Pathetic’ as in the word pathos.) The sheer amount of times he is tortured and tormented on screen, shown to have various flaws and vulnerabilities, and the amount of times the audience is repeatedly reminded that he will eventually meet a tragic fate, all attest to that. The point of the Clone Wars series is to illustrate the famous line that Yoda speaks in the Original Trilogy: 'Wars not make one great.'

*grabs megaphone* MOVIE ANAKIN IS A COMPLEX, EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE CHARACTER WHO FREELY CRIES AND SHOWS EMOTION, THE TYPE OF MALE CHARACTER WHO IS MUCH TOO RARE IN MEDIA. TCW ANAKIN IS THE MALE POWER FANTASY FANBOYS EXPECTED YOUNG DARTH VADER TO BE AND THREW A HISSY FIT WHEN THEY DIDN’T GET IT IN THE MOVIES.

[twoheartsoneclara]

As much as I enjoy a good twin swap au as much as everyone else, I think it’s incredibly reductive and overly simplistic to say “well Leia should have been the Jedi and Luke should have been the diplomat” because Leia is more “angry” and Luke is more “kind”. This argument is often derived from analysis in which they are compared to their parents and in these analyses it comes down to “well Leia acts more aggressively” like Anakin which is then read as masculine, whereas Luke tends to get read as feminine due to his similarities with his mother. That’s not the point of this post though, but it does have some bearing on the following, as the concepts of masculinity and femininity in Western culture and in its fiction come into play. 

The point of this post is that saying “Leia should have been the Jedi because she is aggressive and Luke should have been the senator because he’s soft and sweet” erases a lot of the character depth that they have.  Instead of saying “well Leia has a lot of typically masculine traits and therefore should be a warrior”, what does it mean for her instead to be a diplomat and senator?  To have someone with a hotheaded temper and used to getting things done, her way and on her own, to have a job where she has this necessary give and take in negotiation? We never see her interacting with other senators in the OT given its dissolution at the beginning of ANH, which only serves to highlight her role as “princess” in the trilogy.  Crucially, we also never see her on her home planet or with her parents (also royalty), so this is more about the archetype in fiction than her actual position, but again: what does it mean?  What does it mean to have a princess brazenly insult people to their face?  To have her constantly sniping with a man well below her station and yet to have it presented as a conversation between two equals?

Conversely, Luke gets a lot of weird fanon characterization that reduces him to just this “uwu soft boy” when that doesn’t actually match up with everything presented in canon.  At the start of his story, he’s an impatient farmboy who yearns for something more but settles for complaining and glumly sticking it out in space Arizona.  He scoffs at Han and calls the Falcon “junk”.  However, Luke’s contradictions are a little more straightforward than Leia’s as they actually get addressed through his character development and the themes of the story.  By the time ESB rolls around, Luke’s actions to save Han and Leia are still treated as impulsive and brash, but he knowingly walks into the trap, but things go poorly for him.  In ROTJ, Luke is very cognizant of strategy and knowingly walks into the trap, but by this time things go well for him because of his character development, his relationship with his father, and the ultimate thesis of the OT.  So, what does it mean for Luke to be trained by the last of warriors in a specific culture and to become a warrior himself, only to choose forgiveness and love over killing someone in battle?  What does it mean to have a hero grapple with a legacy of darkness?  What does it mean for him to disregard tactical advantage to prioritize saving others, regardless of whether those others are considered to be good or evil in the narrative?  What does it mean to show the hero experience a dream sequence wherein he kills the evil of the galaxy only to find his own face inside of the mask and find the evil exists inside of himself?  What does it mean to show the audience an impulsive young man who experiences great pain and loss and show him choosing kindness even as he goes down the path to become a warrior?  What does it mean to have a knight throw away his sword when he could be striking the killing blow?

By switching their roles in the narrative, a lot of character and thematic depth gets sacrificed for a fairly reductive reading of gender.  Even though Leia is a woman, by saying that her “masculine” traits make her better suited to being a warrior, it removes the idea of a princess that both George Lucas and Carrie Fisher had a hand in deconstructing and deconstructing femininity.  Similarly with Luke, reducing him to his “feminine” traits erases the entire development of his character and only knowing him as the “finished” state of character that he appears in at the end of ROTJ, while also getting rid of the deconstruction of warriors and revenge that is so central to the entire trilogy.  

TL:DR; AUs where Luke and Leia switch places are fine (and fun!), but accepting the idea that the OT is weaker for not having them be swapped is a subpar argument and has no critical basis, and is in fact a subtle, reductive and simplistic superposition of gender roles onto a text where gender roles are already being subverted.

[clonehub]

god wait lets recontextualize Rex's can do gung ho for Ani attitude. lets consider the fact that TCW!Anakin is nothing like PT!Anakin.

the anakin we see in the series is like. macho baritoned god of confidence. when he gets angry his voice gets deeper and gruffer and they clearly made him to be more masculine. but PT!Anakin (movies) has a distinctly soft spoken voice. he "whines" and he cries and he says weird shit all of them time. I reblogged a post about it but even their senses of humor are totally different. and PT!Anakin is awkward enough that he can't flirt. he doesn't sound sane. but TCW!Anakin is as close to a sex god as a TV-PG-V children's show can get.

so looking at TCW!anakin, we can see why people would follow him. its like that famous guy affect. He's teh Chosen One, yeah, but he's also got charisma and energy and verve and all that good stuff. So Rex and some other people jsut going along with the stuff he says can be taken as that celebrity/cult of personality (?) effect.

but imagine if TCW!Anakin had stayed as PT!Anakin. The mumbly guy who spoke a little formally and couldn't flirt and made it very clear when he was on the verge of tears. Rex and everyone else following him til death do them part just looks like they have a lot more faith in him. Like a lot. Like this guys' sorta off but there's something about him that makes everyone believe in him even though he just told Senator Amidala to her face in front of dozens that she was glowing like the lava pits of mustafar.

oh oh oh wait we can make combos of this. I already think of rex as a more reserved guy with some older sibling syndrome going on. so we can have a PT!Anakin/awkward Rex duo, a TCW!Anakin/confident rex duo, or a PT!Anakin and awkward rex duo. and they'd all be hilaruous because the only response I can see ppl having to them in-universe is "jesus how did these two end up together"

but let me get back on track. Rex always believing in Anakin looks totally different when you see that they also changed anakin's personality to be more typically hero like. what if they'd kept it. I think Rex's faith in his general would seem more genuine if he was PT!Anakin because there's clearly something wrong with him, but the capable trained soldier by his side insists that he's the best guy out there.

[lesbiradshaw]

Genuinely interested in what you think about Bucky being perceived as female-coded in some parts of the fandom. I read that thread years ago and agreed with because it sounded logical, but now I'm not so sure. Recently found out about the existence of this Tony Stark meta essay called "Tony Stark as the most female-coded superhero" and they use the same arguments: loss of agency, playing the damsel in distress role more often than their counterpart, etc. I can't take "fm-coded" seriously anymore

oh boy ...

idk how long this will end up but to preface whatever we do end up with: 1) im a nonbinary lesbian so my perception on what it means to be a woman and femininity in general is not going to be what a lot of other peoples is and 2) im a few months out from getting a degree in gender studies. take that for what you will. no i will not be arguing about this in my inbox.

to be frank, in my opinion, bucky being female coded is bullshit. not only is it bullshit, i have seen it used as a weapon by so many white women and terfs that even if it were true, i wouldnt care! whoever came up with the term “woobify” (which i have most often seen used in reference to how tony stark is treated) needs to tell bucky stans that they aren’t exempt. a lot of them see bucky being a victim as something that needs a continuation into every other part of his life, hence why he’s so often put into these weird dynamics with his ships and given traits he’s never displayed on screen.

i keep thinking of disclaimers to make in anticipation of people coming to my inbox crying so here’s another: if you are a woman or someone who feels a close connection to certain parts of womanhood, me saying bucky isnt woman coded in no way takes away from you identifying with him or parts of his story. that is personal. a woman’s personal relation to him is not reliant on “woman coding” as i’ve seen a lot of white women and terfs suggest, not does it strengthen the existence of such coding. coding is created within the original media, not within the fandom.

i also just realized ive been using the term woman coded rather than female coded, but i think subconsciously there is a reason for that that ties into one of my main points pretty well: the mcu stan’s definition of “female” coding relies on stereotypes, not about female roles, but about what it means in their opinion to be a woman. the issue with this is they take traits they think only exist in (cishet) women and use them to deem these (cishet) male characters as woman coded when in fact these traits are not exclusive to women and enforce weird standards upon people who are women that might not be cis or het or share these traits!

tony stark being short and bucky having long hair is not what would make them woman coded. bucky being rescued by a man while woozy is not what would make him woman coded. bucky being submissive to pierce when LITERALLY BEING BRAINWASHED is not what would make him woman coded. and perhaps a harsh wake up call: bucky’s story hinging around loss of agency issues and trauma in no way shape or form is what would make him woman coded. does it perhaps make him easier for many women to relate to? yes. but is this something exclusive to women? no. a vast majority of trauma victims are going to relate to him, and chalking up trauma to being something female makes me feel really funny.

i know exactly what thread youre talking about lmfao and its right up there on my shit list next to the childlike bucky post. theyre actually very similar now that i think about it ... but anyways. now that ive listed my woes about what doesnt make a character woman coded, what actually would! AND HERE IS WHERE WE GET INTO AN ACTUAL CASE OF WOMAN CODING! mr prequel series anakin skywalker aka my shakespearean downfall dilf. why is he seen as a valid example of woman coding? i will tell you.

the thing about woman coding is that its meant to subvert heteronormative tropes while remaining self aware of that to exploit and emphasize the change. DO YOU HEAR ME? SELF AWARE! anakin is given many of these stupid stereotypical traits i mentioned before, but they arent reliant on physical appearance at all. they are reliant on roles. padme is the levelheaded senate leader, the one with power and stability, while anakin is hotheaded and frankly a bit whimsical while he struggles for his own type of power and control. another classic example of woman coding (which i actually wrote a paper on last semester in my men and masculinities class) is heathcliff from wuthering heights, whose counterpart to his coding is cathy. both men have that whimsicality in common that contrasts heavily with how we would expect them to act. bucky does not act like them at all.

the reason that this is different from bucky and steve’s ‘damsel in distress’ argument is the self awareness i mentioned before. not to mention the weird heteronormative standards being applied as requirements for their gay relationship to be seen as valid because it “fits the narrative” but .. anyways.

anakin and heathcliff both have their subverted traits played up in a way that shows off how ridiculous the women usually written in their roles are forced to act. its tongue in cheek, because woman coding is not only about individual traits, but about how the character interacts with the story because of this as a whole. bucky is often seen as woman coded because he is put into these situations where he is “rescued” by someone that half his stans see as his love interest (steve my baby im sorry) when hes really only rescued maybe twice? at azzano and from the water when the helicopter crashed. only one of those is a real damsel in distress situation. all of the others are cases where hes fighting his own way out ????? bucky doesnt just sit around waiting for a “real man” to get off his ass as that post suggested but i digress.

anyways. mcu stans lack any self awareness that would be required even if bucky and tony were woman coded. calling them woman coded does not count as self awareness! the real self awareness comes with recognizing that woman coding doesnt actually make these characters women and it doesnt mean they forever belong in these “female” roles. mcu stans take the stereotypes they pick out at face value and use them to say “look! bucky is a bottom!” or to continue taking away his agency by ignoring all of his other actions and traits that dont fit in to this mold theyve made around the idea that he needs a man to save him or boss him around. his story as a whole is the only thing that would make him woman coded and seeing as there is no self awareness of this shown, no attempts to subvert, he displays little to no traditionally feminine traits, and loss of agency on its own is not something that only applies to women ...

in short: in my opinion, bucky is not woman coded. mcu stans just like rolling with stereotypes that rely around cis bodies and straight relationships. the end.

[communistkenobi-archive]

If you pull together specific Jedi beliefs & practices (namely: a focus on balance, “all life is sacred”, the ability to form Force bonds, and Force connecting all things together), I think you can make a pretty good case for the no-attachment rule that is actually coherent and isn’t just A) a butchering of Buddhist non-attachment beliefs, B) a weird shorthand for emotional suppression (but only sometimes?) or C) masculine ideals of “rationality” and non-emotionality, all of which the movies give really confusing and mixed messaging on.

So re: Force bonds and the Force connecting everything, if the Force is an actual network - ie it is the sum of all its connections, similar to a spider’s web but with no centre - then the advantage to being a Jedi is being able to see the network and consciously tend to and influence those connections. This would make them something akin to like, spiritual ecologists, with the Force being a mimic of organic ecosystems (and this would account for non-living things being part of this network, too - water and soil and other “non-living” entities form the bedrock of organic ecosystems). Hence “all life is sacred”.

And a part of maintaining that network is balancing those connections. Jedi being highly attuned to the network, they can consciously (and unconsciously) form Force bonds with other people - much stronger and more overt versions of the regular connections that everything forms in the Force. Focusing too heavily on specific connections or bonds destabilises the network and is harmful not only to the people directly connected, but to every other adjacent connection. This would have a domino effect if the bond is overpowering enough (like we see with Anakin). So the no-attachment rule isn’t simply a self-discipline thing, but is actually a very important practice with potentially existential consequences if not properly observed. I think Anakin is a special case, being the “chosen one” and also being groomed by an actual Sith, because a single Jedi being overly attached isn’t enough to bring down the entire network. It’s something they collectively need to maintain and serve, with each doing their own part. It’s also why love =/= attachment, because the Jedi obviously love, they just can’t tend that connection to the exclusion of all else.

And I know people have mixed feelings on the Rule of Two for the Sith, and admittedly I don’t know a ton about its history, but it would make sense that Sith would limit themselves to such an extent under this model, because their purpose IS to centralise the network, with them forming for centre. In contrast, Jedi may form localised centres or nodes in the network (whether through attachment or, more likely, through being highly connected in a community they’re serving), but seek to keep it as de-centralised as possible.

There’s also a lot of talk in the lore post-Order 66 about how the Force changed drastically after the death of the Jedi. Setting aside what killing ~10 000 people simultaneously would do to that network regardless of who you actually killed, the fact that they were all Jedi means that there are no stewards left to tend to that network. The Force would “bleed” with all those excised connections, and the web would destabilise in really drastic and terrible ways. That may also explain why surviving Jedi seem to be a lot more low-key with their powers and abilities post-Order 66, aside from them closing themselves off to the Force generally.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Thank you, I actually didn't even try to write the dialogue believable, thanks for pretty high mark XD... Anyway, may the massacre begin. Analysis of the star wars top characters. (I will discuss it in parts since it is quite voluminous + I am not so familiar with the entire franchise as some people tbh)

To begin with, it is worth noting that the top Lily itself contains characters from completely different sources. Prequels, sequels, kotor and swtor. This is a complete mess, the universe of star wars has hundreds if not thousands of characters and placing them in one top does not seem to be the wisest decision. This is the first thing.

Second, what criteria does Lily use to judge good and bad characters? How well written they are, or how nice of a person they are? Well, more on that later.

5th best. Anakin.

I'm surprisingly agreed. The main problem of his character is in his perception, whitch is, Lucas's writing and Hayden's acting (for which Lucas is also responsible). Seriously, the main reason he is called a whiner because of Kristiansen's voice. In my native language he was made more masculine and emotionally stable, so many people still don't understand the anger and hate of English speakers about Anakin.

5th blandest kyle katarn

Sorry, I'm not familiar with the character, but if Lily's description is correct, I wont protest.

5th worst ezra bridger

In fact, I can understand Lily's opinion, but I cannot understand the location of the character in the top. Look, he is a fairly typical protagonist, he has no particularly remarkable characteristics (compared to Anakin's fall or Ahsoka's arc, etc.), but this is why I have another question... why put him in the top worst? Isn't it more logical to mark him exactly as bland, since he is a fairly ordinary protagoniste? What is his worstness? Ordinarity? Bad witing work? Thats actually important question for the future.

(By the way, there was also a mention that Ahsoka's story should already end and I ... let's just say i laught a little. If the character is good, then they, even having gone through their major changes earlier, can either drag the plot as a supporting character, or to be something like a superman, a character whom everyone (the audience) wants to be like, while the attention of the audience is riveted not so much to their development as to the situation in which character find themselves)

Well, it's a pretty good start, i was expecting worce tbh. To be continued.

Now that I think about it, she doesn't really set up any guidelines, does she? I don't think a lot of her fans have that much of an interest in Star Wars past the films, and maybe a few tv shows, and she doesn't talk about any of the supplemental material on her channel outside of Kotor and Swotor.

I think we both have things to say about how little she actually explains herself, but like you, I'll hold off on that.

Anakin being number 5 on the best list wasn't surprising, as I knew she really likes him. For me, I found he was only really good in the last movie (but that's because he was held back by bad writing and directing.), in terms of a tragic hero though, I can see why people like him.

Kyle Katar for blandest was weird to me, because I never heard of him before, and all this tells us is that the blandest list may just be full of filler characters from parts of the Star Wars universe that many casual viewers won't know about, and thus can't argue against. Outside of that, it's a shoulder shrug.

As for Ezra Bridger... it seems he just isn't popular. A lot of people who watched rebel found him annoying. I think Rebel's had some general writing problems though, so what should have been a pretty generic (if decent) protag, quickly got on peoples nerves. Though it seems most people want to know if he's dead, so who knows what happened in that show. 😂

And honestly, Ahsoka is fine. They use her sparingly in other media, and it's mostly because she's one of the few Jedi that the audience knows about that survived order 66. It makes sense to use her over anybody else, and it was fun seeing her in the Mandalorian.

I can't wait to read the next part!