#an ideal announcement would be the faves coming back but i will take ANYTHING

[mistbornthief]

when will my husband (news about alice in borderland season three) come back from the war

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

my worst fear is demetri and hawk getting together, but through an outing or cheating storyline. theyre very common tropes and i know yasmine is definitely gonna pose a problem to their relationship at some point.

I know right!!! Like I’m not a big Yasmine fan (still not really inclined to forgive her for all that shit she pulled in Season 1 just because she’s like...being slightly nicer to Demetri, and no one else?), but it kinda sucks to think about even HER getting mixed up and hurt in the mess of these two boys very much convinced they’re Big Straight finally coming to terms with their sexualities. Like I get realizing you’re gay or bi can be messy, ESPECIALLY at a high school like the kids go to where you can get picked on for literally ANYTHING, but no one deserves to be essentially used as a Beard, even if it’s unintentional. And having Demetri cheat on Yas with Eli would just be so...ugh, for so many reasons. Like for one, they’re already DONE the cheating thing with the whole Robby x Sam x Miguel x Tory thing...we don’t need ANOTHER cheating storyline just to create interesting romantic drama. And it’s not like gay cheating is all that different from straight cheating at its core, so it’s not like it would be that fresh or interesting of a take on the whole cheating plotline anyways.

Besides, the cheating plot often just...isn’t very fun to watch a lot of the time, because you’re just facepalming at all these characters just making very dumb and selfish decisions instead of like...communicating? Like I love these characters but it’s harder to root for them when I see them cheating on their SOs, since that’s just like...such a shitty thing to do, even if said SO isn’t my fave. I can kinda forgive the Samiguel cheating thing, considering they were both drunk and all and it was a bit of a spur of the moment deal, but consciously and repeatedly cheating on your girlfriend with your best guy friend just because you’re too scared to admit to yourself you’re gay??? Nah, fuck that. Like you don’t have to publicly announce you’re into guys or anything, but leave leading girls on out of it!!!! If you’d really rather secretly bang/kiss a guy, then dump your girlfriend and then continue to secretly bang/kiss said guy!!! It’s just...SO crappy to use someone as a cover-up like that, and it would make me lose a lot of sympathy for Demetri if he did. And it would FRUSTRATE me too, like??? If you want Eli so bad, break up with Yaz then??? Sure, it might lose him some of the popularity points he seems to enjoy, but that’s better than staying with someone you’ve lost the spark with just so you can go behind their back.

I’m honestly hoping if Yasmine is used in a Demetri/Eli plot, she’ll be there to kinda represent what Demetri THINKS he should want vs. what he ACTUALLY wants (i.e. Eli). Like Yasmine’s the ideal girlfriend, social status-wise--gorgeous, popular, sexy, doesn’t take shit from anyone since she’s at the top of the food chain (or at least seems to still think she is). In a way, she represents everything Demetri has ever wanted--acceptance, adoration, the respect of his peers, the power that comes from being near The Top, wherever “The Top” really is. So when he starts dating her, he just has to wonder why he feels so...unfulfilled? Why he’s not as happy as he always dreamed he would be when the day finally came that Yasmine looked his way? And he hates himself for it, but he finds half the time he spends time with her, listening to her talk about manicures and dresses and designer bags, he wishes he was with Eli instead, watching Doctor Who. It makes him wonder if being with a rich girl isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And that little tingle he gets in his chest whenever the newly-mellowed-out Hawk/Eli starts excitedly rambling about “nerd shit” again, just like he used to...is that normal? Why does he find himself caring more about Eli’s opinions of him than his own girlfriend? It’s fucking weird.

After a while of finding himself more and more focused on Eli, and rapidly running out of things to actually TALK about with Yasmine, Demetri does like...the practical thing, and ends things with Yaz, realizing he liked the idea of her better than he actually liked her. Yaz is probably pretty fine with it, too, since I imagine at this point, she’s realized her and Dem don’t really have enough in common to keep a relationship going. Like Demetri is a smart guy--it might throw him off to realize he only liked Yasmine because of the idealized picture he painted himself of her, and the pedestal he put her on, but I think he’d come to terms with this sooner than people think and wouldn’t just like...be in such rampant denial about not actually liking Yasmine that much that he refuses to break up with her. Self-denial is Hawk’s thing, not Demetri’s XD Demetri has always more or less embraced who he is, geekiness and all, and hasn’t ever really felt the need to deny who he is. He often makes a point of saying exactly what he thinks and feels, no matter how unwise, so he’s pretty in-touch with himself. I feel like if he realized his relationship with Yaz wasn’t everything he’d hoped for, he might be a bit bummed, sure--it always sucks when something you’ve been striving for for a long time doesn’t meet your expectations, and turned out to be better in your mind. But ultimately, if Demetri realized he wasn’t that into Yaz, I feel like he would eventually just accept that as a part of himself and move forward with his life accordingly.

And literally ALL of this introspection can happen without him ONCE cheating on Yasmine with Eli, ffs

I think it would be nice if dating Yasmine is a way for Demetri to have to question what it is he really wants, and what he’s actually looking for in a partner. And, of course, question whether he ACTUALLY even likes girls...because why is being with this hot girl barely doing anything for him at all??? Why isn’t he constantly filled with excitement and unending horniness??? What is going on here??? But even then, like, there’s just...NO reason for him to cheat. I feel like realizing you’re gay provides enough angst and drama in of itself without having to have a gay love affair behind your girlfriend’s back. Throwing in cheating to the whole gay realization would almost make it like...comedically overdramatic, because it 100% reads as “Oh, look at this dramatic thing! What if we made it even MORE dramatic??? For...DRAMA???” Besides, I just really don’t want them to make Demetri into a cheater For The Drama. He’s a good, loyal kid who drinks Respect Women juice every day (I mean...Moon and Sam are two of his closest friends, ffs! And he’s never once been creepy with or tried to hit on either!), so him cheating is a no from me, dawg.

Like Cobra Kai, if y’all wanna use Yas/metri as a means of pushing us closer to eventual Hawkmetri, fine. But please do it SMART. Yasmine absolutely doesn’t need to get cheated on for Demetri to realize within that relationship that he’s not (or not JUST) into girls. Dare to be different, Cobra Kai!!! Say “no thank you” to the Gay Cheating cliche and “yes thank you” to Demetri realizing he’s gay (or bi) in a more interesting, nuanced way that doesn’t totally screw Yasmine over for no reason!

[penwieldingdreamer]

The best Award is at home

So in honor of Keanu’s appearence and presentation at the Oscars last night I’ve decided to give you guys a bonus oneshot to the “Best Friend”-series. It will be a repetitive pattern, so I hope you’ll like it. If you want to be added to the taglist let me know. Have fun reading

Warnings: loads of fluff and sweetness, extra long

Words: 3136

Masterlist

Keanu was just about done putting the bow tie on, dressed in his black tux, when you walked into the bedroom. He was going to attend the Oscars for the first time in a while and you felt that slight nervous energy he gave off. Ever since he had gotten the invitation to attend and present Best Screenplay, he was excited and there was nothing else on his mind...well, besides the birth of your third child that is.

When you had felt the first contraction, Keanu was up and out of bed like The Flash. Hastily he dressed and woke his mom Patricia, who had agreed to stay with your kids until they could come to the hospital. You never would have believed, that his mother would like you, a woman younger than him by a good shot and with a kid that wasn't even his. But when she saw the love for you shining in his eyes, you both knew it was going to last a while.

At the hospital you were brought to your room, your husband never far from you and making sure you had everything you wanted. The time, when you gave birth to your first daughter, Keanu was present as well. He sat next to you, holding your hand the whole time through and taking it like a man when you squeezed his hand hard due to the contractions. It was a long night, but worth it all as your daughter was laid into your arms. You watched the actor carefully, tears brimming in his eyes as he looked down at the still wrinkly and bloody baby, but the smile on his fave was everything to you. In the heat of the moment the dark haired actor leaned in and kissed you, like he had never done anything else. Still shocked you hadn't been sure what to do, but now you were married with three kids and the best husband you could want for.

“You sure you don't want to come with me?” your husband asked you, lovingly stroking the dark hair of your newest family member. Ella had been born three weeks ago and with the baby weight still on your hips, you hadn't felt to confident to attend with him.

With a smile you shook your head, looking at his molten brown eyes so full of love. “I don't. Your mom's a great substitute for me and she's got a better form than me right now.” you joked, laying a soft kiss on his neatly trimmed beard.

“You just gave birth, darling.” he told you, giving you a stern look when you mentioned your figure, knowing the harsh beauty ideal of Hollywood. “You're not supposed to be like a stick when you pushed out this wonderful little thing only a few weeks ago.” Keanu laid his fingers under your chin and closed the distance between your lips, pressing his own on yours in a gentle kiss.

Once he moved away you turned your eyes down to the sweet angel sleeping in your arms. All the commotion in the house today didn't bother her at all. Ella was just like your other children, sleeping even in the loudest surroundings. “Still, I wouldn't feel good out there.” you started, feeling his hand on your shoulder. “My hormones are going crazy, I'm crying all the time and blotchy everywhere. My breasts are huge and if I can't get Ella fed I'm leaking. It would be so embarrassing.”

“Oh, my darling, you'd still look beautiful.” Patricia came into your bedroom, pulling you into a tight hug. She was dressed in a white tux and didn't even look like her age, a trait her son had inherited from his mother, too. With a smile you leaned into your mother-in-law, making sure to not squish your baby girl between you.

“Thank you, Patty, but this time you both enjoy it.” you softly commanded. “I guess there'll be a next time when I am good enough to walk the red carpet.”

“Will you shut up about this?” he stressed, pulling the jacket of his tux down again and making sure the cuff links were fixed. “I married you after you had Ava and you think I'd not want to show you to the world.”

Patting his cheek, you kissed him. Knowing he wanted you to be there, but you couldn't take the scrutiny from everyone right now. Not with the way you were feeling at the moment. “I love you, baby. Have fun out there.” Keanu kissed you again and stroked Ella's dark tuft of hair.

“I love you, too. I'll try to call before the kids have to go to sleep.”

Nodding your head, you walked down the stairs to the hall. Eric Gabriel told your husband and mother-in-law to stand by the window and photographed them. Jeanne Yang was so proud of herself as she stood next to you, beaming from ear to ear.

“He looks really handsome.” she said, clapping her hands as mother and son posed for the camera. “You know, I would have found something great for you to wear, too.”

With a smile you patted her shoulder. “Thank you Jeanne, but with the little one I'd rather sit this one out.”

The stylist returned it and clapped her hands, signaling the duo that it was time to leave. Keanu came over to you for the last time that night, kissed you and the kids goodbye, his mother doing the same. Standing in the door way the three of you waved at them and the limousine drove off. Now you'd just have to turn on the TV and wait for your husband and his mother to walk down the red carpet.

»¤«

“Calm down, darling, Y/N will be fine. It's not the first time she is alone with the kids, she can handle it.” his mother patted his leg as she saw it moving nervously up and down.

Raking his fingers through his hair, knowing his mother was right, but he couldn't help the nervousness that swelled in his belly. “But now it's three kids and not just”

“Kim and Karina are with her, so is her mother.” Patricia grabbed his face and made him look at her. “She is not alone. Remember when you told me about her?”

Nodding his head as best as he could, Keanu watched his mother's face turning from stern to loving again. “You told me that you've met that incredible woman, alone in a new city and pregnant. I knew you were going to fall for her the moment you said that and you knew it, too. Just like you knew it with Jenny.”

Tears gathered in eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall. Jenny was the love of his life, but somehow Y/N had snuck into his life and into his heart. She had the ability to heal his broken heart and give him back the smile he had thought he lost the day his baby and Jennifer died. Now he had a family, three wonderful kids and wife to call his own. “You're right, mom.” His mother grinned at him, raising her eyebrow and the actor rolled his eyes. “As always.” he added, earning a kiss to the cheek.

“Y/N can do it, she's going to be fine. Besides you'll be home with her later tonight.” the costume designer smiled. “And now let's get out, we're here.”

The car door was opened and instantly one of the crew asked both of them to move along. They were ushered along the red carpet, photographers and fans gathered on the sidelines and everyone that was important in the business posed and strutted along the way. Every step of the way, Keanu made sure to keep his mother by his side before they were asked to pose in front of the cameras.  

He linked his mother's arm with his own, making sure everything was all right with her and posing for the fans and photographers, occasionally giving them a wave or a bright smile. “I told you it was going to be fine. We should have fun tonight.” Patricia whispered in his ear, earning another smile from her son.

»¤«

“Mommy! Mommy! Look there's daddy and granny.” Ava cried and pointed to the TV where the reporters just announced the arrival of Keanu and Patricia. They posed for the cameras and smiled.

“Dada.” Charlie, your three-year old went to the TV and clapped his little hand against it. Your mother smiled rocking Ella in her arms while Kimm, your sisters-in-law sat next to you, laughing at the excitement the two older children showed when they spotted their father.

“They're so happy.” Kim acknowledged, sipping the wine you had opened for the three guests in your house tonight. Karina was still in the kitchen and fixing chips and dips for all of you, when she spotted her older brother on the TV. “He looks hot.”

“Oh your mother does, too.” your own mother commented, earning laughs all around. She always had an open mind to your love life and the fact that Keanu was older than you didn't bother her. Your mother was happy, as long as you were happy with your choices. And by the smile grazing your lips whenever she saw you, she knew that your life was the best you had so far. “You all got your looks from her.”

Smoothing down the black locks that were growing out on Ella's head, she grinned at the two older kids who were still glued to the TV waiting for the next time their father would appear. And just as Karina sat down next to you with a bowl of chips and grape juice for you, Ryan Seacrest announced your husband and mother-in-law. You shushed everyone and leaned forward, watching him smile as he commented on the chaos of the Red Carpet. The reporter asked him about Toy Story 4, the movie you had watched together with your kids. They absolutely loved it, even though their father wasn't seen anywhere.

“So Keanu, you recently became a father again, how are you doing?”

He smiled that smile you fall in love with every day anew, waving his hand towards the camera. “It's amazing. I love my kids and our little baby is just” he stroked his beard trying to think of what to say. “I wouldn't change it for the world, my wife and my children are everything.”

His mother watched him, her eyes alight with love for her son. “All three kids are a blessing to us. My son is the happiest I've seen him in years.”

“And who's on diaper duty at night, you or your wife?” Ryan asked with a grin on his face.

The dark haired actor grinned and pointed at himself, which was true when he was at home. “Usually it's me, Y/N has the kids during the day so I offered to take the night shifts.”

Nodding his head the reporter turned to Patricia, asking her about the upcoming Matrix movie and if she already had insight on them. Your mother-in-law laughed and shook her head, she only knew about the three other movies, to which Ryan commented, that Keanu had trained her well. A bit embarrassed he only muttered a 'yeah' and thanked Ryan. Before they left your husband turned again, kissing his fingers and waving at the camera. “I love you guys.”

Ava and Charlie both raised their hands and threw kisses at the TV, a gesture they had picked up from their father, while you sat on the couch, feeling the tears of joy and love filling your eyes. With that, the duo of mother and son moved along on the carpet and inside the theater, waiting for the show to start.

»¤«

The ceremony was just how Keanu remembered all those years ago. Filled with old and new faces in the business, he watched the show unfold with jokes, live performances and presentations for each category. He, too, was supposed to present the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay together with his former co-star Diane Keaton, who he had been working with on Something's Gotta Give. He was excited and nervous at the same time. When it was time for him to go, Keanu leaned over to his mother and let her know that he would be backstage.

Patricia smiled and handed him his phone. Y/N had given it to her, because she already knew her husband would want to call and make sure everything was going fine. He took it and thanked her, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “I'm just going to say good night to the beans.”

“Do that, darling, I know you already miss them.” his mother grinned and pushed him out of his seat.

Returning the grin, the dark haired actor made his way backstage, his brown eyes alight with happiness. Diane was already there, talking with other co-stars from previous films and part of the backstage crew. When she saw him, the older actress waved him over.

“Keanu, dear, how have you been?” she asked once he had joined her side, pulling her into a tight hug. “I'm so glad you could come.” Diane added, patting his tux clad shoulders.

The actor returned her smile. “I'm great and I'm really happy to be here again, without Y/N, my wife, I wouldn't be.”

“Oh really?” the actress inquired, watching him with a raised eyebrow.

He nodded his head, raking the fingers of his free hand through his longer hair. “Yeah, she actually threatened me to come here or I'd have to sleep in the guest bedroom for the next four months.”

“She didn't.” His co-star giggled, putting her hand over her lips to suppress the oncoming laughter. “She sounds like she's keeping you on your toes.”

With a grin, Keanu shook his head. “Actually, we complete each other. I wouldn't change it for the world. My wife and our kids are the one thing I need.”

Diane smiled, already knowing his past and softly patted his arm. “Do you have pictures of the rascals? I mean the last time we really met it was for the movie and it's been a while since then.”

“Sure.” He pulled out his phone, looking for the recent pictures of Ava, Charlie and Ella. It was the week after you were able to leave the hospital and the first thing he did when you all got home was take a picture. The four of you settled on the large couch on the patio, Ella in your arms and Ava and Charlie sitting next to you, beaming at the camera.

The older actress smiled, pointing out at the children. “Are all those yours?”

“Well genetically speaking only Charlie and Ella.” he motioned to the boy and the baby in the picture. “Ava is Y/N daughter, her boyfriend left her when she told him she was pregnant, but well, we fell in love and I've raised her as my own. Besides she doesn't know anyone else, her real father didn't want her.”

“You have a beautiful family. Is Y/N with you tonight?” Diane would have wanted to meet the woman that finally stole Keanu's heart but she saw his smile fade a bit.

He scratched at his beard, clearing his throat before he continued. “Unfortunately not. I would have loved to introduce you, but Y/N feared with her only giving birth three weeks ago, she wouldn't make a good form on the carpet.”

“Oh, that's really unfortunate, but tell her that it's the most natural thing in the world. Y/N shouldn't feel bad about it.”

Pecking her cheek, Keanu thanked her, holding up the phone again. “This reminds me that I wanted to make a quick call before we have to present.”

“Well than, go on and maybe we'll meet up some time.”

Nodding his head, the dark haired actor moved along to a corner that was a bit secluded and quieter than the rest. He took his phone and dialed your number, hoping it wasn't too late. After the second ring you answered, instantly switching to the FaceTime function on the phone so you could see each other.

Ava and Charlie were the first ones to appear on the screen, waving excitedly as they saw their father. “Hi daddy!” “Dada!” He missed them already and waved at them like he did every time he was away filming.

“Hey bubble beans, what are you still doing awake?”

That's when your face came into view behind them. “Hey, baby. I promised they could stay awake until you presented and then they'd have to go to bed.”

“Okay.” he nodded his head. “I'm due to go out on stage, so wish me luck.”

“You'll rock it, baby.” you grinned at him. “You know that every woman is in love with you and every guy has a secret crush on you.”

Laughing, Keanu shook his head at your comment, but deep down he knew you were right. “So, is everything all right at home?”

Leaning back, you took the phone and showed him around the living room. His two sisters sat on one side and his mother-in-law on the other side of you. “We're all great. As I said, once you're done the kids will head off to bed and I'll be waiting for your return.”

“It shouldn't take us too long with how fast the ceremonial parts go, I guess around one in the night or something.” he told you, scratching absentmindedly at his beard. “I try to get back as soon as I can. Mom will be probably tired, too.”

“I'll wait for you.” you declared. “Tell Patricia she looked really great on the carpet, even mom thought so.”

“Mom looks hot, brother dear, and so do you.” Kim called, having gone to the kitchen to get herself something to drink.

You saw the blush creeping onto his cheeks and smiled at him. “You're adorable baby.” In the background you could hear someone calling him. “You gotta go, I know. I'll be waiting.”

“I love you, darling.”

“I love you, too. Ava, Charlie say good night to daddy.”

A chorus of Good Night was heard over the phone and with a last wave and I love you's he ended the call, ready to get this show over with so he could return to his family at home. All theses people that were winning may be able to take an Oscar home, but the best award was sitting in his home waiting for him to get back.

@a-really-bi-girl​ @meetmeinthematinee​ @fanficsrusz​ @ladyreapermc​ @ficsnroses​

[thehudsonator]

I LOVE ROCK & ROLL || Fiona + Sugar

TAGGING: @acuppasugar @thehudsonator

DATE: Thursday May 24th. 

PLACE:  A Cup

NOTES: Fiona and Sugar run into each other between sets.  They finally find some common ground when it comes to music.  They air jam to some Joan Jett before the final act takes the stage [COMPLETE]

SUGAR MOTTA

Just as Sugar expected when 80s night was first announced, it was going amazingly. It seemed like everyone was into the theme and music, and while it was a competition, the sense of togetherness was very strong. It was probably what she loved most about these nights. After getting a new drink and waiting for the next set to start, Sugar turned to be met with a certain tall women she had become somewhat familiar with. Still, Fiona being right there surprised her, "Omg, you scared me." Sugar exclaimed, putting a hand over her chest, "Don't sneak up on me like that." she stated, now taking a look at Fiona's outfit. It was that punk 80s look, and while Sugar didn't go the same route, she knew it was perfectly Fiona, "You know, you do pretty good at working with these themes, Hudgrid! You look way rad. Bitchin, even."

FIONA HUDSON

Fiona lived for Battle of The Bands: the energy, the music, cheering on her sister.  It really felt like they were apart of something special, like participating in their own little Woodstock or something.  Tonight was a little more special than the others though, tonight had a theme.  The 80s's!  Though Fiona was a 90's baby through and through, the music of the 80's would always hold a special place in her heart.  Marley was being pulled away by Unique for a dance between sets and Fiona took it upon herself to get them some fresh drinks.  Fiona approached the counter, but took a step back as she seemed to startle another guest-- none other than Sugar Motta.  "I wasn't trying to sneak up on you I didn't even see you there.  Probably 'cause you're so  tiny," she chuckled.  Fiona looked down at her own outfit, honesty it was something she'd wear even if the night didn't have a theme, but she was comfortable.  "Thanks!  You totally got that like 80s teen movie vibe going for you too!"

SUGAR MOTTA

Sugar rolled her eyes at Fiona calling her tiny, but she actually mind it, "I may be tiny, but I am mighty!!" She pointed out with a smile and pride in her voice as she took a drink from her cup. She loved her outfit for the night, having bought it and literally waited for the perfect night to wear it, "That's TOTALLY what I was going for. Kind of Romy and Michelleish but when they were actually in high school." She boasted, posing for a quick moment to continue to show her outfit off, "I love the 80s so much. It was such a fabulous time. The movies, the clothes, the peeps... and the music, especially. Some of my faves are from it."

FIONA HUDSON

It was no surprise to Fiona that Sugar was going for the 80's teen movie look.  The Warblettes were sporting a Heather's theme, so it made sense one of their biggest fans would follow suit.  Fiona was about to get the server's attention to order a couple drinks, but her attention was pulled by Sugar's enthusiasm for the 80's, it just so happened to be something Fiona loved too!  To Fiona it seemed like her and Sugar came from two different planets, so it was pretty cool to find some common ground. "I love the 80s too!  I think most of my favorite movies were made then, and you're spot on about the music.  That era was awesome!  Who are some of those faves?"

SUGAR MOTTA

Sugar and Fiona did not hang out much in person. They did the first time they met at Sugar and Serena's apartment, but it wasn't exactly a situation to make a friend during since Fiona got lost in the apartment after having a one-night only event with Serena. After that, they only saw each other when there was a third party still there as a buffer of sorts. The only buffer they had right now was the drink in Sugar's hand, but somehow, the conversation was still going smoothly, "I have lots!! Madonna, duh. Cyndi Lauper. B52s. Tiffany." Sugar started, thinking about the artists she loved, "OMG how could I forget THE Joan Jett and her punk chick vibes."

FIONA HUDSON

Fiona nodded enthusiastically as Sugar listed off her favorite 80's icons.  She was a little surprised Sugar didn't come dressed as Madonna, but maybe that would have been a little too predictable for her or something.  Then Sugar mentioned Joan Jett, and she was instantly speaking Fiona's language.  "Yes!  Joan Jett was like the queen of the hot punk chicks.  What are some of your favorite songs?"  Fiona had a hard time picturing Sugar get down to anything vaguely punk rock, so her curiosity was getting the best of her.

SUGAR MOTTA

Sugar jumped and clapped a little as Fiona matched her enthusiasm for Joan Jett. It was exciting to find a common ground with Fiona. The two were so different that despite the fact they texted with each other still didn't make them think they were actually friends, "Oh my gosh, I know!! Like how can you not respect a women who started her own record label to produce her own music. Such an amazing power move." Sugar gushed, "her music is so iconic. There's Do You Wanna Touch Me... The French Song... You Don't Own Me..." She shifted the weight on her feet as she listed songs before the most important one popped in her head, "And of COURSE I Love Rock N Roll. Everything about it is timeless and amazing. Even just the guitar chords, which sound amazing on vinyl. They're just so..." Sugar's hands raised into an air guitar kind of fashion, her face contorting to a rocker expression as she used her mouth to make the sounds of I Love Rock n Roll's intro.(edited)

FIONA HUDSON

Fiona could respect that Sugar knew more about Joan Jett than just a handful of hits, but it really didn't surprise her too much the more she thought about it.  Sugar seemed to be really into business and junk, so how could she not know even a little bit about the business of music?  "That song like launched her career with The Blackhearts," she gushed along with Sugar, "And like it was a cover too!  Can you imagine loving a song so much that it helps launch your career?"  Fiona was taken back by how Sugar allowed herself to get lost in the music of her own making, she joined in stomping her foot to the simple beat of the songs intro, adding in some air drumming for good measure.

SUGAR MOTTA

"Exactly!!! Like her Power was just so strong it transcended into every time she played it. It's such a rightful hit!!" Sugar continued. She was in incredibly good spirits that night. She was part of a totally amazing night, she looked rad, she and Jessi saw each other before the show, Nicola was there... really, the whole night was rather ideal in many ways. So maybe she drank a little more since she felt so relaxed, and thus felt a little more at ease. Plus, the energy Fiona gave off was very non-judgmental, even if she was an enigma to a sober Sugar. As Fiona and her played the beat, she felt lax enough to even start singing despite her voice not being anything comparable to their entertainment that night, "I saw him dancin' there by the record machine/I knew he must a been about seventeen/The beat was goin' strong/Playin' my favorite song." Sugar said with a certain twang to her voice to match the low, strong voice of Joan Jett herself

FIONA HUDSON

Once Sugar started singing there was no way Fiona couldn't join in, they were mostly being drowned out by the tunes playing over the loudspeaker anyway.  "An' I could tell it wouldn't be long / Till he was with me, yeah me, / An' I could tell it wouldn't be long / Till he was with me, yeah me, singin...'" Fiona paused a beat like in the song and couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the moment as the continued into the chorus together.

SUGAR MOTTA

Sugar knew Fiona was a drummer but she still was surprised by how she kept the beat perfectly. At least as perfect as she could tell given the commotion around them. But what she definitely enjoyed was Fiona singing right along and she even prepared for them to sing the best part together,” I love rock n roll/ so put another dime in the jukebox baby,” Sugar sang, her head bobbing and hand still air guitaring in a way that suggested it wasn’t her first time doing so. “I LOVE ROCK N ROLL,” Her voice jumped a little higher as she took that part over but she looked right at Fiona to indicate the next line was all her.

FIONA HUDSON

"So come an' take your time an' dance with me," Fiona enthusiastically finished out the chorus.  The song over the loudspeaker faded out almost taking them out of the moment.  Fiona chuckled as she realized it was only ever at Battle of The Bands surrounded by music that Sugar and her could understand each other.  If on a musical level was the thing for them to bond over, Fiona would live with that.  A friend to bond over music with was a good friend to have in her book.  "I did know you were such a pro when it came to air guitar!"

SUGAR MOTTA

Sugar danced to Fiona belting out the last bits of the chorus and also couldn’t help but laugh once they were done. Money and music were two of Sugar Motta’s favorite things, and both were very universal. Fiona didn’t seem to share her love of money but a love of music was a good runner up. Especially considering they ran in such similar circles. Sugar bowed her head, appreciating Fiona’s compliments for her air guitar skills, “It’s one of my many many talents,” she reveled, popping a shoulder out to really sell the point, “You make a p good Joan Jett. I might start calling you Fi-jona,” Sugar instantly laughed at how dumb that sounded, “Or maybe not.”

FIONA HUDSON

Fiona couldn’t help but laugh at the silly nickname. Between Kitty and Sugar it seemed like Fiona was collecting quite a few nicknames these days.  “Hudgrid works too,” she shrugged.  Even if Fiona hardly ever knew where she stood regarding Sugar, she knew the nickname was meant to be endearing. She caught Marley’s gaze from across the coffee shop, her girlfriend was excitedly waving her over, that usually meant she saw the closing act getting ready to take the stage.  “I should grab those drinks and get back.  We should totally air jam again sometime.  I bet you’d kill it to Bad Reputation.”

SUGAR MOTTA

Sugar’s laughter died down and the between sets music hadn’t started up which tended to mean the next band was about to start. Sugar knew she needed to find Nicola who she thought snuck off to have a joint with Lara. Hopefully she wasn’t getting herself into more trouble in alleyways though. And it was clear Fiona too needed to get going which was no big deal, “I def would, except I do give a major damn about my reputation.” Sugar playfully stated with a smile at Fiona as she stepped out f her way so she could go towards Marley and Sugar could go off in the direction she last saw her friend, “Be sure to keep your air drum sticks handy. Tell Marley she looks totally righteous for me!!”

FIONA HUDSON

Fiona chuckled as Sugar mentioned giving a damn about her reputation, it was a very Sugar reply as far as Fiona was concerned.  "I'm always ready to airdrum.  I carry a pair with me wherever I go," she joked.  "I will," she nodded.  "You should come say hi during the set, I'm sure she'd be happy to see you.  I'll see you around, Sugar."  Fiona waved as she skipped off in the direction of Marley and the stage.  It wasn't much but thanks to Joan Jett and the power of the 80's maybe Fiona and Sugar understood each other a little bit better.

[darkartandcraft]

Trapped in the Dream of Death - Interview with Illustrator and Tattoo Artist Revolting Worship

We were honored to sit down and talk to Columbus, Ohio resident Nate Burns, aka "Revolting Worship" about his artwork, his transition to the tattoo realm and a little bit about his success with social media. 

So, can you tell us the story behind Revolting Worship? Why did you decide on that handle? How long have you been revolting worship?

The pen-name “Revolting Worship” was birthed mostly out of my entrenched metal nerddom; sort of harkening back to the history of artists/musicians of the genre utilizing pseudonyms to “brand” their creative output. It was a fun exercise that honestly ended up sticking more than I imagined/intended it to. 

Please summarize your illustration style in 3-4 words. 

Line & texture obsessed canoodling. 

You saw pretty prolific growth before Instagram started tangoing with their algorithm. What sorts of actions do you attribute your success?

Lots of time spent drawing to always have something at least halfway worthwhile to show for the efforts. Basically pouring in time to honing my craft was the primary goal (as it always should be as far as I’m concerned) but it just so happened to work in my favor that the old social media algorithms benefited those with speedier working processes ie. always working means always having something you could show means being pushed into feeds more often. The constant flux in algorithm changes hasn’t effected my working process or the amount of time I’m working, however. 

Did you always want to be an artist? What made you decide that's what you wanted to be?

I’d say in some form or another, yes, I’ve always wanted to make art for a living. Some of my earliest memories were drawing my own bootleg Batman and X-men comics, haha!

Okay, so here's one of our topical questions but get into it. Who are your top five greatest influences into your artwork (not that we can't guess some of them - cough DORE cough)?

Haha, well, Dore is in there for sure. Dürer, Harry Clarke, Joseph Clement Coll and Bernie Wrightston would probably have to round out the rest of that line-up. 

What creators should everyone reading this article follow on social media? 

Ooo hmmm. Some personal faves are Henrik Uldalen, Becky Cloonan, Little Thunder, Allison Sommers, Mike Moses, Brian Ewing, Randy Ortiz, Brandon Holt, Mike Sutfin, James Jean, Eric Fortune, Michelle Konczyk, Allen Williams, Adam Burke, Alessandra Maria, Jeremy Hush, all the artists I have the pleasure to work with in my American Crow family, the list goes on. 

How long have you been illustrating? About three years ago, you began tattooing. Why did you decide to do that? 

I’d say I’ve been illustrating in a professional capacity for about 7 years now? Looking back, I’m hesitant to call anything from the first few years very professional but I suppose that’s the ever present “your own biggest critic is yourself” that a lot of artists have haha. 

As far as making the leap into tattooing; it happened pretty organically. I had been getting tattooed for years and developed a friendship with the David Boggins, whom had been doing the majority of my tattoos at the time. We had had art nights every once in a while together so he became acquainted with my illustration style, etc. and over the years of getting tattooed and becoming more and more exposed to other artists and the industry in general, I started finding the idea of tattooing more interesting. I ended up asking David if he was interested in taking on an apprentice and it all started from there! 

How has tattooing influenced your illustration work and your illustration work influenced your tattooing? 

They’ve both influenced my drawing style subconsciously. The way I make marks and compose things has definitely changed (for the better, I believe) the more I started approaching a piece from the perspective of tattooing. Now, the only glaring difference between how I handle an illustration vs. a tattoo project is that when it comes to an illustration I can cut loose on a lot more detail, etc. simply due to working on paper and it’s possibilities compared to flesh. 

Has tattooing affected the amount of illustration commissions you take on? If it has, how has it made you selective and what are the projects you take on now as a result? 

Its definitely made me more selective on what illustration projects for the sake of finding the time to work on it.

How has tattooing changed your artwork? Now that you tattoo, do you find yourself exploring different subject matter or imagery than you did when you just illustrated

I’d say its influenced the sizes I like to work at? I’ve found myself really enjoying working larger and “stretching my creative legs” when I get a chance. 

What are some of your favorite illustration projects you've ever done for yourself? For someone else? 

I’m really excited about a personal piece I’m working on currently for the gallery show at the upcoming Midnite Communion in November. I really enjoyed the “Wraiths” series I had a chance to do last year; 13 5”x 7” pieces that gave me a chance to explore creating different environments, etc. 

Favorite project done for someone else? Hmm. If I really had to boil it down; I had a lot of fun with and enjoyed the end results for the album art I had a chance to do for Chrch’s “Light Will Consume Us” as well as Northern Widows’ “ Way of Suffering.” 

What would be your ideal commission? 

I pretty much love any chance I get to make gross, macabre shit for bands I really enjoy. I know that’s pretty vague but there’s nothing quite as satisfying as making some filthy art for equally filthy music. Filthy being a pretty subjective term here. 

Okay let's talk about your upcoming travels and artwork. What are some of your upcoming guest spots so people can get some of your tattoos? 

I’ll be visiting Ritual Tattoo Gallery in Denver this June from 5th-7th and White Willow Tattoo in Pittsburgh on July 29th-30th, both of which are currently booked up. So that’ll be a lot of fun! As mentioned earlier, I’m currently working on a large (for me) 11”x14” illustration for Midnite Communion in November our in Long Beach, CA. Hoping to possibly have another piece ready to go for an unannounced Chicago show in October. 

How can people buy your original artwork or prints?

I will sometimes post original pieces for sale on my social media but, otherwise, interested parties can  contact me and inquire as to what I have around. As far as prints go; I normally always have some availed at the shop (American Crow Tattoo) and sometimes will upload a small number of them for sale via online, it’s just a matter of watching my IG for announcements. 

How has digital media affected your artwork and your ability to be a professional artist?

Digital media has definitely made it light years easier to get your work out there and viewed by a wide audience. Having prints and merch made has also never been more seamless. 

What are Revolting Worship's top three points of advice to younger, less experienced artists?

 If you have time to complain, you have time to draw. You get out what you put in, meaning; you can always be improving on your work. The more time you pour into your craft, the better your skill set will be. 

Finding your style takes time and unfolds naturally as long as you’re putting in the work mentioned in the previous point. Learning what you like about certain types of art, artists, techniques, etc. and WHY you like what you do will subconsciously guide you. Don’t get too caught up on/stress out about finding your style, it will happen organically. Be more focused on learning. 

There’s a big difference between “taking inspiration from” or “emulating” and completely ripping off another artist. Please don’t do the latter. By all means, learn from the artists you admire but please become familiar with the difference between learning and stealing. 

What do you want people to know about you and/or your artwork? 

I feel beyond fortunate that people give a shit about what I do and allow me to do it for a living. Everything I do is made possible by the supportive people I’ve surrounded myself with and whom continue to be my patrons. All of my work is hand drawn and it warms my heart that the time poured into the traditional methods of making art still have an audience that appreciates it and are more available to see it in an increasingly digital world. 

Make sure to give Revolting Worship a follow on Instagram.

[gothify1]

If you were to analyze my sweat as a product-obsessed beauty editor and hoarder (my vanity, desk, and car have officially reached maximum capacity), you'd probably discover the elemental ratio as follows: 50% coffee, 25% water, and 25% essence of Sephora . Despite the fact that countless brands and retailers send me products daily, nothing gets my heart racing in excitement more than entering the magical realm of Sephora —be it online or in person. It's been my favorite shopping pit stop since middle school when I first discovered beauty products, and I have a hunch it will remain my favorite until my dying day. Currently, Sephora (which debuted in North America back in 1988) has over 460 stores across the Americas, and that's not including an additional 660 locations tucked inside JCPenney locations. Impressive, right? Sephora stores open at a fairly rapid rate globally, and earlier this year, the retailer announced it will be expanding its U.S. trajectory with 35 new locations—one being a clutch location in the heart of Palm Springs, which opened just last week. "I find mists incredibly refreshing, and they are a great way to give my skin light doses of moisture throughout the day. I will admit I may be a little addicted. I mist myself constantly! "This one from Glow Recipe is one of my faves. It smells incredible, balances the skin, and combats that dry look you may get after touching up your makeup with powder. Something I love about Glow Recipe is the careful selection of ingredients that make their products so skin-type inclusive. Watermelon is known for its natural hydrating properties, hibiscus extract contains natural AHAs that smooth texture, and apple cider vinegar helps to balance excess oils. All these ingredients work together to create the ultimate crowd-pleasing spritz." "Hydration is the solution to so many skin and makeup woes, no matter your skin type. I have oily skin, but I dehydrate easily due to my eczema, so this mask from Farmacy is my go-to when I need serious moisture. Honey is a humectant, like sugar or agave, which naturally draws in moisture. I also recommend exfoliating before you do any hydrating mask (shout-out to my bestie, the Kora Organics Turmeric 2-in-1 Brightening & Exfoliating Mask, $48, shown below!) and removing it with a warm washcloth for amazingly soft skin." "I love using this to exfoliate my skin before I mask with the Farmacy Honey Potion above!" "I recently jumped on the whole 'new year, new me' train and started making a conscious effort to take better care of myself. I definitely saw some great results and even lost a bit of weight, but I was still bloated. I found it difficult to find something for gut health that fit into my travel-full lifestyle. Everything I liked had to be refrigerated. That’s when I tried these digestive enzymes from Hum. My tummy was flatter, and the overall discomfort of bloat was reduced. These are a daily must for me. I even have everyone I know taking them because I love them so much!" "A great introduction into the wellness life is this complete collection from Moon Juice. It gives you a chance to try six of their most popular blends of adaptogenic super-herbs so you can discover your favorite. As the name suggests, adaptogens adapt and give you what you need based on how your body handles stress. They’ll do something different for everyone, making it a cool, unique experience you can share with friends. They also make a great gift for your foodie friends because you can add them to your favorite treats. "My current favorite concoction is a Sleep Dust turmeric latte right before bed: Sleep Dust, turmeric, raw honey, and warm almond milk. It’s calming, anti-inflammatory, and gives me the best night’s sleep." "I’m 33, and I’ve been using firming eye creams since I was 19. I can’t say for sure that this is the reason I don’t have any wrinkles, but hey, I don’t have any wrinkles! I love the texture of this eye cream from Fresh because it’s super creamy, de-puffing, and wears well underneath makeup. The fermented black tea, or kombucha, it contains makes my eye area look smoother and immediately brighter." "Every makeup artist has a weakness, and dark circles are certainly mine. It’s always this push-and-pull with covering them completely or dealing with an overly cakey under-eye; it’s a very delicate balance. This concealer from Charlotte Tilbury has been my saving grace in this department. I can perfectly conceal anything on the face with no cakiness or texture emphasized. It can even be used as a foundation in a pinch because of how seamless it is. The only explanation for how Magic Away Concealer works is Charlotte Tilbury being an actual magician. It’s magnificent!" "I’m pretty selective when it comes to my lipsticks, especially my red lipsticks. Sephora Collection’s Cream Lip Stain Liquid Lipstick in Always Red 01 ($14) is the perfect shade of red. The color is truly universal, lasts all day, and the formula wears comfortably on the lips. I like to adjust the depth and undertone of it by using different lip liners to get a customized shade. My favorite pencil to pair it with is Make Up For Ever Artist Color Pencil in Limitless Brown ($18). It makes it more of a brick red that’s more harmonious with my warm undertones." "I love to pair this lip pencil with Sephora Collection's red lip I mentioned above!" "These Duo Chrome Top Coats from Natasha Denona are my secret weapons when I want to fool everyone into thinking I put a ton of effort into my makeup. The formula is a beautiful, creamy, translucent glitter that you can swipe on with your fingers. The duo chrome shades shift as you move, so everyone will be mesmerized by all the different shades they’ll see. The sheer formula can also be layered on top of a fully pigmented shadow or eyeliner for a totally different look." "I’m an all-or-nothing kind of makeup wearer. It’s either full glam or sunscreen slathered on my bare face. But on those natural days, I do appreciate a nice feathery brow. I love using this gel from Anastasia Beverly Hills because I can get fully sculpted brows with just one product and a few swipes." "Not only are these blushes from Kaja the most adorable way to apply blush, but they're also one of the most natural. The texture is weightless and blends beautifully onto cheeks for an incredibly skin-like flush. Saucy is a gorgeous all-purpose peachy-mauve, and Coy is a super-delicate, light peachy-pink shade that’s perfect to pair with a bold eye." "This product is a super-nourishing, balmy cream that really packs a punch as far as hydration goes. Its weight and texture make it ideal for naturally coarse hair, and a little goes a long way. It contains castor oil, olive oil, and vegetable glycerin, which are all ingredients my curly hair loves." "I avoid the sun as much as I possibly can. I also try to take great care of my hair, so it didn't make sense that I was being inconsistent with SPF on my curls. This primer from Bumble and Bumble is a great way to ensure that I get adequate sun protection without weighing down my hair with unnecessary product. It also has heat protectant for those days that I diffuse my hair and six different oils to ensure hydration." "This shampoo-and-conditioner duo takes some of the drudgery out of my long wash day. I typically steer clear of shampoos because they can be drying for my coarse hair, but this one from Briogeo is very gentle, lathers up beautifully, and smells amazing. Its conditioner counterpart is deeply hydrating and allows me to quickly detangle my hair while still in the shower." "This Tonic Lotion from Bumble and Bumble is the natural hair girl's version of dry shampoo. The spray contains tea tree oil to refresh your hair, soothe your scalp, and rid your hair of unpleasant smells. It was actually formulated with men in mind as a styling primer, but it has been a staple of mine for years. It also works amazingly well for the itchy scalps that often accompany box braids." "I came across this fragrance while doing a YouTube video for some of Sephora’s newest niche fragrances. I instantly fell in love with a scent that I didn't even know I needed. Berdoues perfectly captured the feeling of fragrant black tea leaves, citron, and sandalwood with Assam of India. It's incredible, and I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a teahouse every time I experience it." Next up, see everything 2019 Carrie Bradshaw would (theoretically) buy from Sephora.

[lair-of-books]

Hello Hello Book Lovers! I’m a bit past the mid-point of the year but I was reading some FAB books I couldn’t put down & risk them not making this list. I’m pretty sure there are still some new faves out there I’ve yet to read but I’m also very happy with the ones that did make the cut in this tag. The fact that we’re still finding joy in a hobby we love in such tough times is a blessing in & of itself. This tag took me just about a day to work through but while working on it I caught up with some Booktube videos as well as my binge of The Cold Case Files on Netflix.

Best book you’ve read so far this year

Without a doubt the honor goes to All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson! (My review) this book will forever stay in my heart & soul as a genuine collection of stories (essays) that are raw & powerful. George gives us a intimate look at life growing up as a queer black man in America. At times it was very hard to listen to & others I felt like an honorary guest at the kitchen table. Race, gender, sexuality, and socio-economic differences are all explored here. Poignant & life changing, this is a book you want to have read Luvs!

Best sequel you’ve read so far this year

Out of all the prompts in this tag, this is the one I can say was the reason for this tag going up past the month of June. I was honestly holding out to read a few more sequels that I’m pretty certain are going to blow my mind but for now I have selected Ruthless Gods by Emily A. Duncan! (My review) This was 10 times darker than Wicked Saints & I was sort of anticipating this since I follow the author on Twitter. This book is more focused on Serafin but overall the character development was *chefs kiss* & the set-up for the final book which btw will be driven by a Malachiasz POV…was just A+! slower paced sequel & worth every page 😉

New release you haven’t read yet, but want to

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson (Goodreads)🖤 First off I’ll start by saying that I love reading all things witchy, even before I had read the synopsis this book was in my cart. Described as a feminist fantasy with gothic vibes that takes on race, misogyny, religion and homophobia to name a few. I received my copy in the mail about a week ago & will be reading it in August!

  Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

Wayward Witch (Brooklyn Brujas #3) by Zoraida Cordova the final book in a witchy series I absolutely fell in love with! This book will be following the youngest of the sisters Rose as she comes into her newfound powers. This is the third & final book so I’ll just leave it at that cause spoilers. If you’re looking for more Latinx Representation, Zoraida Cordova is such a talented writer who has become one of my top 3 favorite authors!

  Biggest disappointment

This is the year I’ve re-discovered my love for reading & that’s partly because I’ve made it a priority to only read what my spider senses detect will be a hit. I’m sort of riding the wave between mood reading & arc timely reading if that’s even a thing. No disappointing reads to report as of yet and a gal is crossing her fingers it stays that way 😉

Biggest surprise

You Had Me at Hola by Alexis Daria (Goodreads) When I first saw this book announced I knew that I had to read! not only for the Latinx representation but also because it’s centered around telenovela stars which I figured would be pretty nostalgic for me. This book was more than what I expected in the best of possible ways. We see two Latinx characters cast in a major telenovela that is set to break barriers & stereotypes for the Latinx community. This is also the first time I read a book with Latinx characters where the Spanish in text is not italicized which gave me a more organic reading experience. I have a review in the works but for those that are interested, some of the content warnings are PTSD, anxiety, talk of loss of a parent, Cancer, alcohol as coping mechanism.

Favorite new author (Debut or new to you)

I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole with buying all of anything written by Sylvia Moreno-Garcia with ZERO regrets! I read Mexican Gothic (review coming) this month while at the beach & was just teleported to High Place with its Gothic/Horror vibes turned all the way up! I’ve legit started collecting Moreno-Garcias books since I plan on binge reading for a future blog post. One thing I have noticed about this author is that she isn’t boxed into any particular genre. So far I’ve seen books she’s written under the Horror, Sci-Fi, Urban Fantasy, Historical Fiction, Mythology, Magical realism genres. The one thing that makes Moreno a favorite for me besides the A+ writing is that her characters are all Latinx. I’m really looking forward to reading all of her back-list books.

Newest fictional crush

Artwork Credit: Hellhoneyy (Click on photo for artist website)

I’ll admit I’ve never had a fictional crush but then Talia Hibbert went & changed all that with Zafir Ansari in Take a Hint Dani Brown (My review) he is the perfect balance between sweet cinnamon roll & a knight in shining armor. Not that Dani needed one at all but he’s old school & seeing to his ladies needs/wants is at the top of his priorities. Zaf is attentive & nurturing, he’s also super supportive. To top it all off, he has. foundation where he helps young boys shed toxic masculinity by providing a safe space where they can talk about their feelings. Zaf has my heart!

Newest favorite character

Artwork Credit: Melanie Tranchemontagne (click on photo for artist Instagram)

House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City #1) by Sarah J. Maas (my review) was the last book I purchased before Quarantine in NYC & I LOVED it to pieces! There are so many stand-out characters but one in particular stole the show…Lehabah the small & curvy Fire Sprite. Lehabah is bashful & loves watching Fangs & Bangs. Her love for Fangs & Bangs is only rivaled by her love for our MC Bryce Quinlan. Lehabah fretted over Bryce & I just adored her!

Book that made you cry

This may come as a surprise but the book that made me cry was House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City #1) by Sarah J. Maas (my review). If you’ve yet to read this one I’d suggest steering clear of the Goodreads synopsis since it’s VERY spoilery & in my opinion also takes away from the emotional reaction it may illicit. However, I will say what I loved most about this book is the awesome ride or die female/female friendship at its core.

  Book that made you happy

Take a Hint, Dani Brown (The Brown Sisters #2) by Talia Hibbert (My Review) was THE book that made me smile & just radiate happiness all over! Between Zafir being the ideal love interest & Dani king this independent bi-sexual witch Goddess, I was LIVING for their story! the body positivity & acceptance of personalities and differences is #GOALS If I’m being honest for favorite new to me author it was a tie between Sylvia Moreno-Garcia and Talia Hibbert. Love them both so much! but this is the book that put me in a happy place.

Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received)

Mexican Gothic by Sylvia Moreno-Garcia is STUNNING!!! Noemi our MC is serving 1950’s glamor with a Gothic/Horror Vibe on the cover with what looks to be dead flowers in her grasp. I LOVE this cover & story so much that I have it on display on my bedroom shelves. It is legit a source of inspiration for some upcoming paint/artwork I have planned for my bedroom walls.

  What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

There are SO many wonderfully Diverse titles as well as some highly anticipated sequels hitting our shelves in the second half of this year that I absolutely can’t wait to read. These are just a few I plan on reading THIS year in an attempt to deliver my Top 20 of 200 by the end of the year…

🖤FOLLOW LAIR OF BOOKS🖤

Instagram: @LairOfBooks

Twitter: @LairOfBooks

Goodreads: LairOfBook

2020 Mid-Year Book Freak Out Tag Hello Hello Book Lovers! I'm a bit past the mid-point of the year but I was reading some FAB books I couldn't put down & risk them not making this list.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTES: So this fic was a loooooong time coming. Sailor Moon was my first anime, waaaaaay back when there were maybe three anime on TV at all, and one that remains extremely dear to my heart. As with so many of my faves, I always feel a little gunshy about attempting fic in that genre, which is why it's taken me until now to take a walk through the Moon Kingdom. It was very satisfying in many ways.

These outtakes were a lot of fun – this whole fic was! Thanks to all the reviewers again (especially those who also love Makoto - thank you for the validation)! Hope you guys liked it, and liked celebrating Hanukkah with me! Stay tuned for Yule, and eventually Christmas!

Jessex

Act 6. NG (outtakes)

Usagi felt her heart pounding as she walked into the kitchen, where Ikuko Tsukino was standing by the stove. Somehow, the woman looked different than usual. Her eyes were distant and forlorn, mouth turned down in a worried frown. The way her tone had sounded calling for her was what got her adrenaline rushing behind her ears; her mother never sounded worried like that when she called for her.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"Usagi…" Her face was a little flushed as she raised the magazine to show her the page it was open to. Usagi's cheeks darkened to the same shade, and surpassed it into an even deeper rouge. "Can you please explain this to me?"

Swallowing hard, she turned away, trying her best not to think about how much her face was burning. "M-Mom, I didn't think… you went through my room? And found it?"

"You left it open on your table. All these dog-ears in the pages; you're not just flipping through it. This is something you're into. I didn't… I mean, this isn't usual. Is it? Your mother is a bit old-fashioned, but…"

"No, no, you're right; I don't…" In a whisper, she said, "Don't tell anybody? Please? I know it's weird, but I'm not ready for all my friends to know I'm like that."

"Well, I… I mean, were you planning on exploring this sometime? Of all people, I didn't think my own little girl…" Her hand gestured to the page, a weak laugh falling from her lips. "This is just very strange to me, and I'm not sure how it would even work for you."

It took a lot of bravery for her to whisper, "Actually, Mom… I wanted to try it with you."

"What?" The roundness of her eyes hurt Usagi; she didn't think this would ever come up, let alone be talked about in such detail! But the cat was out of the bag now.

"Like you said, I'm not sure how to do that. Really don't have any clue. So if you could help me… teach me what you know…" She approached hesitantly, hands coming up, pulling back, then finishing their movement to rest on Ikuko's forearm. "You have to be better at this than me. I mean, look at the proof!" She gestured to herself.

"Usagi…" Her hand came up to cup her daughter's cheek. "This is very unexpected, but I can't deny… I'm very curious. And interested."

"You are?! I thought you would… laugh, or be ashamed of me."

"No, no. Well, it's very strange to me, but I suppose I don't mind trying something new. With you."

Ikuko leaned closer and pressed her lips into her forehead, and Usagi sighed, thinking it had been so long since she felt the softness of her mother's kiss. She sighed, leaning up into it, heart soaring on wings at her mother's acceptance. Sometimes, your parents really could surprise you.

"Alright. So, um… I guess you saw the jeans are pretty basic, might have to dye them turquoise? Orange socks, I can borrow those from Minako… gloves shouldn't be a huge problem, or the shoes; I think I have some like those. But I don't know about the little black vest. I mean, do they sell those?"

Leaning over the counter to look at the page with her daughter, she said, "I'm sure we can alter a normal-sized vest. I just… please, please tell me you aren't going to cut your beautiful hair just to look like this manga character. I know children like to dress up for parties and things, but that's too far!"

"Well, it's cosplay, Mom." Seeing the obvious confusion, she went on, "It's not just for children; I know that's probably why you were so wigged, but I promise, lots of grown-up people do this, too. And Naru and I want to go to one of the conventions, and… I dunno, I thought I might look good in this!"

"As I said, I'm not going to judge you," she said in a carefully patient tone, still looking a bit embarrassed. Maybe it was secondhand, or maybe she had felt slightly ashamed that her daughter was seriously contemplating doing something she thought to be immature. "And if you really want to do this, I will support you all the way. Unless you cut your hair!"

Smiling at her mother's concern, she reached up to pat her shoulder consolingly. "No, no, I was going to try to style it that way without cutting it. Like, maybe some bobby pins? I think we can do it. And if not, there's always wigs."

"Are you sure you couldn't cosplay as someone more wholesome? She looks like some kind of loose woman…"

"Actually, she's an android! Do you wanna know her backstory? She's pretty rad!"

Ikuko clearly didn't. But she did listen patiently, and helped to plot how they would fashion the costume with her daughter. Maybe it wasn't the ideal way for her, and Usagi felt the same way, but they were both glad of an opportunity to reconnect after feeling such a gulf between them — especially now that she had a secret identity that her mother could never know anything about. At the very least, this was something they could do together as a family.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Serenity, I've waited so long to find you," Tuxedo Mask breathed as he swept in through the window to land deftly on the carpet, slowly removing the white eyemask and revealing himself. "It is I, Mamoru Chiba. I know I have deceived you, and for that, I'm sorry… but now, I have at last remembered our past. You and I were destined to b-"

"What?"

His eyelashes fluttered as he saw Usagi's head raise from where it had been pointed down at a shojo manga, legs gently kicking over her back as she lay on her stomach. Apparently, she had been so absorbed in the reading material that she had missed part of his announcement. "Well… I've remembered something. We were destined for each other. I, Prince Endymion, and you, Princess Serenity. Our reign over the… I'm sorry, am I distracting you from something?"

"Yeah. It's just getting really good." Her finger poked at the pages as she looked back down at them. "Dunno, I think the grandma might be coming back. Really gonna shake things up!"

"Usako, I'm trying to tell you that I'm in love with you."

"Oh, that? Yeah… no thanks. I'm a lesbian."

"What?!"

"Lesbian. You know, yuri? Girls' Love?" Her index and middle finger pushed against the corners of her mouth and her tongue flicked out and flailed up and down. It was lewd, but it got the point across. "Get it? Nothing against you, Chiba-san, but I'm not buying what you're selling. Sorry!"

Clearing his throat, Mamoru glanced between the window and the bed where Usagi was lounging easily. His mind seemed to be taking its sweet time absorbing this new information. Then he tried for a patient smile. "Oh. Well… I beg you to reconsider. Our destiny…"

"Whatever, bro. Destiny doesn't get to tell me who to date, and I can't pretend to be attracted to you if I'm not. Biology doesn't work that way. Also, isn't it kind of creepy jumping into a junior high girl's bedroom in the middle of the night? Somebody should call the police."

"Well, uh, it's not creepy if you wanted me here! But if you don't, I suppose I'll… get out of your way…"

"Thanks. Oh, but hang on!" Hopping up from the bed, she pranced over to him with a small smile. "Actually, there is something you could do for me."

"Yes, my love?"

"Teach me that thing where you throw roses! Like, she'd really flip her lid if I could do that out of nowhere like you do, and it might be enough to get me to second base!"

"Ehrm… with who?" But when her finger wagged back and forth, he guessed, "You're… not going to tell me?"

"Can't risk you blabbing, now, can I? Gotta try working my magic first! Anyway, thanks for stopping by — and think it over! We can still help each other out saving the world from the Dark Kingdom and all that, right?"

Laughing, he scratched the back of his neck as she began gently shoving him toward the open window. "Yes, of course. The Legendary Silver Crystal is of the utmost-"

"Yeah, yeah, crystals. I'll put in a good recommendation to one of the other Senshi; some of them like boys, so hey, keep hope alive!"

Then she was slamming the window shut behind him. Tuxedo Mask only spared himself a moment to shake his head out, trying to rid himself of that dazed feeling before he took off into the night.

                                                            ~ X ~

Never before had a hand so strong caressed Usagi's face the way Haruka Tenou's was. It shouldn't have been possible; not even Mamoru's touch soothed her this way. What was happening in her brain? Every atom of herself was alive, her heart thudding against her chest like a fist pounding on a door. If something didn't happen soon…

"Haruka… are you a man? Or are you a woman?" That was one thing she needed to know.

"Man, woman…" Haruka leaned down to bring their faces closer, messy blonde hair swishing in front of her eyes, lips twitching into a lazily confident smile before she spoke again. "What difference does it make?"

That clenched it. There was no point in saying anything like that if she were a man; most boys she'd ever met would say something like "I'll show you I'm a man!" in response to a question like that. Fragile masculinity wouldn't let them be labelled a woman for even an instant. Besides…

This close, she could smell her. Maybe she wasn't as sweetly perfumed as her friends, or her mother, but she definitely used a floral body wash. Even her sweat seemed feminine.

And she tasted equally feminine when they connected. What a kiss! It mixed her up inside, feeling soft lips being pushed so firmly into her own, the strength and the tenderness blasting her with conflicting signals. She was kissing a girl! But it still felt like a boy-kiss! Maybe that was because she was the same height as Mamoru, and probably stronger. Her hands slid up Haruka's jacket lapels and tugged her closer, opening her lips to prove that she was not afraid, was ready to be kissed like this. What on earth was this feeling…?

Then she felt the connection being shifted to one side. Usagi tried to lean with the motion, to maintain their tryst, but eventually she couldn't, so she was forced to open her eyes and find out what was the matter.

"I'll tell you what difference it makes!" Michiru shouted at Haruka as she dragged her away by the ear. "You know that tonight is our date night — you were supposed to take me out for French cuisine! And instead, I find you Frenching another girl!"

"Ow, owowow!" Haruka protested, finally wrestling out of her girlfriend's grip. "Hey, I still had plenty of time! We weren't supposed to meet at the restaurant for five hours!"

Michiru folded her arms and glared up at her. Even though she was five inches shorter and more petite, and her soft waves of teal hair made her seem like a benevolent sea-goddess, at that moment she looked more like a towering force of nature to be reckoned with. Like a tsunami.

"I don't care if you play around with children, Haruka. It's a little unseemly, but if that's your hobby, fine. But you could at least save it for a day when we're not supposed to be together later that night! You're the only woman for me, so you could at least make me the only woman for you within a single day!"

Together?! Not only was Haruka a woman, but she was with Michiru! Like THAT! Not that it should have been much of a surprise, but Usagi had been a little too wrapped up in being kissed so sweetly to have given any thought to Haruka hanging around with Michiru all the time. What their 'friendship' might really mean.

"O-oh!" she burst out in sudden realisation. "Lesbians! I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean t-to interfere, I'll just…"

The smile on Haruka's face when she glanced back toward Usagi was a bit wicked, but mostly fond. "Maybe we could bring her with us tonight. Double our fun and excitement."

"Hmph," Michiru scoffed, turning her face away. "One would almost get the impression that one wasn't that important to you anymore if you already need to spice up our relationship with a third wheel."

Usagi felt her ears going red. What were they discussing?!

"Baby, don't be like that," Haruka said earnestly, kneeling at Michiru's feet and clasping one of her hands. "You know that at the end of the day, no one else could hold my attention the way you do. I'm yours for all eternity."

Both Michiru and Usagi melted and cooed "Awwww!" Hearing she hadn't been alone, Michiru did briefly glare at Usagi, but then when she turned to see her lover was still gazing only at her, the glare softened and she reluctantly smiled.

"Alright. I suppose… Usagi is rather sweet, for a baby gay. But look, don't touch. She has the Earth Prince, remember, you homewrecker?"

"I'm not a baby!" Usagi muttered, mostly to herself. "I'm barely two years younger than you guys!"

"Oh?" she giggled, casting her dazzling blue eyes in Usagi's direction. The thrill that shot through her body was not a subtle or a moderate one. "Then you do want to come along tonight? We should probably warn you, after dinner, things are likely to get… a little intense."

About five minutes had passed before Usagi could move or think again. By that point, both of the mysterious Mugen Gakuen students had long departed, leaving her a quivering mess of burgeoning homosexuality.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Miss Haruna?" Usagi Tsukino whispered hesitantly as she edged into the classroom. "I… know I'm a little late for my detention, but I can explai-"

"Oh, you ravishing creature."

"H-Haruna-sensei?"

Slowly, her voluptuous frame turned, long waves of auburn hair bouncing lightly as she faced her student, hazel eyes shimmering with emotion. "How many hours I have stared across the room, wishing to take your hands into mine and kiss them… to show you the depth of my heart. But circumstance holds us apart from one another! Oh, cruel fate, why do you thwart me so?"

Usagi was frozen just inside the door. This couldn't be happening. Her teacher, Haruna Sakurada, was really confessing her feelings? It was so unexpected! Especially since she had literally never spent a single moment entertaining the idea of any romantic connection between her and the dazzling instructor. On the other hand, she was passionate, and beautiful, and not that much older than her for a teacher…

"M-m-m-miss Haruna, I… y-you really feel…?" Her face was turning slowly redder as she backed up to the wall, heart thudding in her throat. "B-but we're both women, and I'm y-your student, and we-"

"Hm?" The teacher's expression clarified, and she blinked a few times. "Miss Tsukino, what are you doing here?"

"Huh? B-but I have detention today, don't I?"

"No, it's tomorrow." Then she suddenly took a long step backward to sit on her desk. "Wait, how long have you been standing there?!"

Squeaking in alarm at the sharpness in Haruna-sensei's tone, she said, "I d-dunno, a minute?"

"NO! You can't have overheard my rehearsal!"

"Rehearsal?" Glancing at the desk, she saw a stack of printed pages, stapled at one corner and folded back. A script? "Wh-what…?"

Now it was Haruna's face that was red, and she was pushing her hands into her cheeks. "Please never tell anyone! I'm auditioning for a local production, it's… oh, I'm so embarrassed!" Turning away fully, she snapped, "Y-you can consider tomorrow's detention taken care of if you promise to keep this a secret!"

"Y-yes, of course, Haruna-sensei! I will!"

All the way down the hallway, Usagi felt like a complete idiot as she sprinted on flailing feet. How could she have possibly thought those words were intended for her?! How conceited her poor bun-head was! The sooner she could forget this whole incident, the better.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Yes, Usagi Tsukino," Dark Lady purred as she reached out to grasp Sailor Moon's face, caressing her tear-stained, flushed cheeks. "I was once your pathetic Chibiusa. But now… I have transcended that form. Thanks to the power of the Black Moon, I can now remove you from my life. Take Mamoru for my own. And you are powerless to stop it."

Usagi had to swallow hard to keep her heart from racing ahead of her. She found herself leaning closer and closer to the gorgeous face above her, breathing, "Chibiusa…"

"My name is Dark Lady now, Moon Face." But their lips were getting closer and closer. "W-wait, what are you doing? Stop, don't you understand your position? You've lost! Both your love and y- STOP IT!"

But Usagi was already blowing into Chibiusa's nose. The taller, glamorous version of her future daughter squawked and tried to push her away, but it was no use; Usagi had latched on and formed a perfect seal around the tiny nose, which was causing a harsh razzing noise to issue from her open mouth, since the air had nowhere else to go.

"AAGH!" she finally gasped out when she had freed herself, both hands rubbing at her nose and her mouth to rid them of the lingering discomfort. "That's disgusting! How dare y- wait, let go of me, let go!"

Bending her over her knee, Usagi shouted, "And THIS is for thinking we didn't love you! Silly little brat, you can't marry your father and destroy the universe! If you take him away from me, how are you even gonna be born? That doesn't make any sense!"

Every time her hand crashed into Dark Lady's behind, she called out "AH!" or "NO!" until the tears began to fall. Not long afterward, her slender supermodel body began to shrink down into the chubby child that Usagi had come to know and find annoying.

"There, there," she whispered gently as she drew her up into a tight hug, letting her bawl into her shoulder. "It's okay, Chibiusa. It's okay. Mommy's not going anywhere."

"You're not M-Mommy! You're just a dumb… dumb Bun-head I… I'm s-so sad and my b-butt hurts!"

With a little chuckle, she kissed the side of her head. "I know, I know. Your mom from the future's a thousand years older and probably way smarter… but I'm still her. We both love you and want you to be happy. And if you think killing me and everyone else is going to do that…"

The tears only got louder. Somewhere in all her blubbering, Usagi heard the word "sorry" being screamed, so she smiled to herself as she cradled Chibiusa close.

"Shhhh. It's alright, sweetie. Everything's going to be alright."

Well, once they took care of Wiseman and the Black Moon, of course. But things were already looking up. How difficult could they be?

                                                            ~ X ~

"Actually, I'm serious. You have Sailor V right here, in your room, ready to listen. What have you always wanted to tell her?" Turning around, she caught sight of the comfortable bench in front of Usagi's vanity and took a seat — though she kept her posture erect, hoping that was how a "superhero" would sit. "Go on."

"Well… no, I couldn't." But Minako didn't flinch, or do anything other than sit patiently. So eventually, Usagi sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her knees. "You really want to hear all that?"

"Of course. Sailor V fights to protect the world in the name of love and justice! What her fans think of her is very important, too."

The blush was coming back now that they weren't tittering so much. After a few seconds of kicking her legs back and forth, toes skimming over the pink area rug, she finally whispered, "I… oh, this is so lame! I'M so lame!"

"You're not. I promise. Come on, tell me anything."

"Well, alright." Clearing her throat, she straightened her back and forced herself to be brave. "I'm actually not Sailor Moon."

"What?" Minako's eyes narrowed behind her mask. "I mean… what are you talking about? Of course you are."

"Actually, I just start the transformation sequence flashing, and then I call for my stunt double. Serena?" Another blonde with pigtails emerged from inside Usagi's closet, waving bashfully. "Look how cute she is. Seriously, can you believe how cute?!"

One of Sailor V's fingers raised, then lowered again as her mouth opened and closed. No, she definitely didn't have the words for this. So she asked the only thing she could think to ask right off the cuff: "Where… does she live? Like, you can't seriously expect me to believe she just sits in your closet until the world needs Sailor Moon?"

"Ohhh, don't be silly! Okay, look."

They both got up, and Serena seemed more than happy to slide the closet door aside for them to peek in. Behind the clothes was a somewhat comfortable-looking chair, a book light, and a few trashy magazines. Most of them were in English, which Minako knew Usagi couldn't read very well.

"Is she, like… not from Japan?"

"Hey, we don't have actual magical girls here, do we?"

"What about Rei, and Ami, and Makoto?"

"Okay, besides them," she whispered, waving a hand as if that were an unimportant bullet point in an otherwise flawless presentation. Meanwhile, Serena was examining her nails and waiting for them to get done with this show-and-tell. "Anyway, I bring her snacks, and she has weekends off unless an emergency comes up. Those days when I look really wimpy and can barely do anything against the enemies? That's because I have to wear the suit myself. Just not nearly as great at the job as she is, but I mean, I'm the Moon Princess. Not an actual Senshi."

In a weirdly stilted dialect, Serena said, "Yeah. Moon Princess. She is so beautiful, and good! I want to be…" In English, she said, "God, I'm never gonna get this. The tapes aren't helping."

"It's okay!" Minako replied in the same language. "We can speak English if that's easier."

"Thank GOD. Normally, I try to stick to the lines Usagi coaches me in, but like, WOW is it hard to remember the conversational stuff." Then she smiled a little wider. "I like fighting alongside you guys! Y'know, when I can. Too bad we have to keep up appearances or I'd just fight with you and the Princess."

"Now, now, that would just get confusing," Usagi said reasonably, her own English not quite as good so she stuck to Japanese. "Besides, the whole point was to keep me out of danger, and not make you do the stand-in work, right, V?"

"Oh yeah! In that case… yeah, thanks, Serena."

"Anytime," the double said with a huge grin. "Y'know, we should all go out to eat! I mean, I still don't really know much about Japanese food besides rice and ramen…"

Warming to the subject, Usagi bounced over and looped her arm through both Minako and Serena's elbows. "C'mon, let's go right now! I mean, I'm not busy if you're not — you'd just have to do something about that hair so we don't raise suspicions by looking too alike."

"Yeah… hey, why not?" Mina said with a slowly-growing smile. "We have all this time to ourselves, and I think we could all be awesome friends! Blonde Brigade for life!"

"Yes!" Serena said, again in Japanese. "The friends for us to be!"

And away they skipped to find a decent restaurant. Right after Minako de-transformed, and the stunt double stuffed all her hair up until a giant hat, to keep her from being recognised; wouldn't want their connection to the Sailor Scouts to be that public.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Luna, no one understands me!" Usagi burst out as she threw herself down on her bed. "Rei is so mean all the time, and Tuxedo Mask acts like I'm not even alive…. Wh-what do I do?"

A paw came to rest on her head. "Don't worry, Sailor Moon. I'm always going to be here for you. Even when they all turn a blind eye to your inner pain, I won't. Even though I'm hard on you sometimes… it's because I care, and I hope to make you better than you are. To show you the path to your best self."

Her hand came up to rest gently against the back of her feline companion. "Oh… oh Luna, you're so sweet…" Her lips moved forward, and pressed into a tiny muzzle. "If only you were Tuxedo Mask… someone as kind and caring as you would be way better than that selfish creep. All he cares about is the Silver Crystal and throwing flowers! Not like my Luna, who sees who I really am… who's so soft…"

The room was mostly silent for a moment. Then Luna muttered, "If you start trying to make out with me, I'll scratch you blind, Bun-head."

"What? Oh, sorry; I wasn't going to, I promise!"

Usagi flopped over onto her side and curled up with a pillow, feeling bad that she made Luna uncomfortable on accident. Maybe she needed to start chewing ice, or exercising… anything to take the edge off these annoying desires.

"You ought to go and see Koan," Luna suggested with a large sweatdrop over the crescent moon symbol on her forehead. "After all, you seemed to get along fairly well with her, and her hairstyle resembles cat ears. Vent your strange urges on her and leave me alone."

"Ehh? Luna, please, you really don't-"

The small feline face now bore a smirk. "I've heard you calling out her name in your sleep…"

Blushing to the roots of her hair, Usagi curled a little harder against her pillow. It was true that she was very glad Koan and her sisters had been saved from Black Moon's influence, given a new chance to live honest lives, but she hadn't realised the tall, glamorous woman was on her mind so deeply. And it was true that she liked her, and looked forward to seeing her…

"Maybe I will." When Luna chuckled, she sat up and grabbed her pillow to slam it down on the cat. "TO SAY 'HELLO', kitanai neko!" There was a lot of squabbling and flailing underneath it as Usagi stood and stomped toward the door. This was the last time she would ever trust her cat-shaped companion not to tease her over nothing.

                                                            ~ X ~

"So which of us is it gonna be?!"

Usagi backed up shakily from the glares of the five women in front of her, hands held up to ward off their negative radiation. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"We can't all be your girlfriends," Ami told her reasonably, arms folded over her chest. "Be rational."

"Yeah!" Makoto chimed in. "Isn't it hard enough being a lesbian in Nineties Japan and taken seriously? Just make up your mind already!"

"But I'm only dating you guys in separate 'verses!" Usagi protested, backed against the wall by now. "God, I don't even know how you guys found out about it — technically, it's against the laws of physics!"

Rei slammed her hand against the wall next to Usagi's head. "Doesn't matter, bubble-brain! You can't two-time us, and you sure as hell can't five-time us! That's just too far!"

Unable to help herself, Usagi muttered under her breath, "Sheeeeeze, when you or Makoto act so strong, I get chills…"

"Um," Naru put in nervously, scratching the back of her neck. "I feel a little out of place here for some reason. Maybe I should just go…"

"That'd probably be for the best," Minako confirmed.

"Wait, don't!" Slipping out from behind Rei's arm, she ran over to grasp her old friend's arm, clinging tightly. "Don't go, I can't let you leave thinking that you're not as important as my new friends!"

"New girlfriends," Makoto corrected, sounding jealous but also hurt. And Usagi's heart was breaking.

"Alright," Ami finally said after having spent some time typing into her miniature Supercomputer. "There seems to only be one logical course of action. Usagi should spend time with each of us, and reach a decision as to which woman she wishes to date. If she can reach no such decision within an appointed trial period, she will forfeit all dating rights."

As the others were all pondering that, beginning to nod, Usagi slumped. "But I told you, I'm not dating all of you. Not really! It's like, five different Usagis are dating you, not just one for five girls! You get that, right?"

"Shut up and decide!" Rei snarled. "And it better be me — you've seen me naked!"

"Hey, that's not our fault," Minako protested, hands on her hips. "Just because you're some kind of slu-"

"OH!" Naru burst out, hopping up and down with an index finger raised. "How about a kiss-off? Best kisser wins!"

Before Usagi knew what was happening, they were all muttering their agreement and pressing in closer to her. Their lips were puckered, all vying for the attentions of her own, and she felt sweat break out over her forehead. Suddenly the bed was rising up to meet her back, and all five of them were atop her, warm bodies pressed in close, kisses being left all over her face, she couldn't get away, couldn't breathe-

The blare of her alarm clock woke Usagi from the feverish dream. It took her several seconds of heaving breaths before she realised… it had been a nightmare. The sheets were somewhat coiled around her, and a thin layer of sweat coated her entire body. Also, she felt warmth blossoming in her face.

"All five of them?! I must be crazy…"

"What's the problem, dear?"

Rolling over, she curled around the presence beside her in the bed. "I had this bizarre dream. All of my friends were coming onto me — girls, I mean. No more coffee cake before sleepytime!"

"Oh, Usagi-chan…" Rolling over, Gurio Umino adjusted his glasses as he leaned closer to her face. "Too much time spent on the Internet. Leave that to me! Maybe I can find upskirt pictures of them for you in one of my newsgroups?"

Usagi Tsukino was still screaming, even as she woke up from the nightmare that had been sandwiched around the other nightmare. The first thing she did was throw her sheet and duvet aside, making sure she was alone in her bed. Then she pinched her own leg; success. She was actually awake this time.

"Phew… there's a bad dream, and then there's a horrible nightmare. I'd rather be mauled in the first one!"

"Usagi!" came the call from outside her bedroom. "You'll be late for school if you don't hurry up!"

Still a little dazed, she called out "OKAY, MOM!" as she got changed and raced downstairs. Another day of school awaited. She only hoped she wouldn't feel too awkward around her friends after such dreams as the ones she had been plagued by the night before.

"Seriously, all five of them?!" Usagi burst out as she raced down the street, fuku flapping behind her in the wind that her speed was creating. "You're out of your mind, Sailor Moon!"

                                                       THE END [for real this time]

[northshorehealthandfitness]

Friday Faves

Hey hey! Happy Friday! What are you up to this weekend? We’re heading to Orlando, and I CAN’T WAIT. (I’ll be sure to share the adventures over on Instagram.) I’d love to hear what festivities and fitness events you have happening! Other than our little road trip, we’ll be spending time here at home getting ready for next week. I get to help out with Livi’s school Christmas party and we’re having a girls’ night. Lots of fun stuff on the way.

For now, it’s time for the usual Friday Faves party! It’s always a blast to share some of the things I’m enjoying each week and hear what you’re loving, too. Please shout out a fave in the comments section if you’d like to join in. 

(P’s first hot cocoa ever! It rocked her world.)

(At the local Christmas tree farm!)

Fitness and fashion:

Fabletics Polly leggings.

These leggings are buttery soft, not see-through (<— critical), and super inexpensive for the quality. I’ve been wearing Fabletics gear a lot lately – we have limited athletic stores in town, so I order pretty much everything online, and the quality has skyrocketed over the past year. These pants have a fairly low-key mesh panel in the back and are ideal for barre class and strength training.

Nordstrom just knows me and sent an ad for this dress, and now I can’t get it out of my mind! I have zero things on the schedule that would need a dress like this but UH. It’s beautiful. 

House + holiday:

We’ve had our Christmas decor up since before Thanksgiving – I wanted everything looking festive before we left for Tucson so it would be here waiting. It makes me holly, jolly, and extra happy. Most of our decor is pretty much the same from San Diego: 

(the mantle and new garland up by the TV)

the tree, which somehow feels smaller each year that we open it (we’ll probably hit up post-Christmas sales for a new one),

centerpieces on the tables,

festive nook where we keep our holiday cards (so fun to see them start to arrive!)

 and some new holiday pillows. Bella approves.

It’s really tempting to go crazy and get ALLTHEDECOR, but since we never know where we’ll be in two years, and each house is different, it keeps me in check.

Now I’m scared to watch Elf. 

The stories behind some popular Christmas carols.

Speaking of the holidays, I opened up one of my little gifts early. I ordered a Dyson cordless vacuum on Cyber Monday and you guys. I don’t know how I lived without it for so long. I never knew it was possible to love a vacuum this much.

It’s been a little more challenging to keep up with the house lately – the girls can be tornadoes and laundry NEVER ends – but there’s something that drives me bonkers: dog hair and crumbs on the floor. Like if I’m walking around barefoot and feel anything but wooden panels under my feet, you know the vacuum is coming out (#freak #iownit). There is something magical about being able to quickly take the vacuum out and blitz around the house. It’s glorious. 

Good reads:

Realistic birth announcements.

This was fascinating! I’m overly excited about the new royal couple. 

Recipes and eats:

These gluten-free crispy onions. I originally bought them for a green bean casserole, but instead, I used them for the best chicken that’s ever come out of the kitchen. I’ll share the recipe once I can take some pics!! They’re from Whole Foods, and also make a delicious little chicken or salad topping, and I may or may not have snacked on some directly out of the container. 

My favorite chocolate coconut protein bars have a new video! Check out the full recipe post here. I’m going to make a batch to have on hand this week.

And, just for funsies because we’re already sprinting towards 2018, leave a comment below and I’ll pick a lucky winner to receive either an Erin Condren planner (<— gives you $20 off your first order. I’ve used these for years and love them!!) or a Kit Life planner (a newer find; they’re sturdier with a unique design). 

Happy FriYAY.

xo

Gina

The post Friday Faves appeared first on The Fitnessista.

from North Shore Outlet - Health and Fitness http://ift.tt/2B2qE60 via IFTTT

[survivorjohto]

Ep. 10: “Who Better To Fuck Shit Up Than Despairsaac?” - Isaac

MADE MERGE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PI HALLELUJAH

I want CP SOOOOOOO 

 Im ready for this merge because the villains? Mostly dead to me. Like I love Isaac, Karen, and Jordan M. But DO I TRUST THEM?!?!?!?!! FUck that no they can go. But do I trust any heroes? Duncan, I trust him. I'm hoping there's a way Jordan Pines and I can get with a few heroes and vote the middle and get our way. I just don't know.gif

Okay, so I made merge!  Yay me!  This is the first time I made merge as myself without having to return in a redemption twist.  Thank GOD.  And Allison won Malibu? True kink!  Honestly, had Andrew or Carson won, I woulda been happy, but I (proudly) voted for Allison twice, so it was like a mini-victory right there, especially considering the only time I didn't vote in the minority post-merge in Malibu was when I got Luke, my one shot at not fucking everything up, voted out. l o l 

 Anyway, I don't really trust anyone on the villains side, but I love my hero guys.  They're beautiful and faves, and I will trust them for now. :,) I know Drew and Billy 100% will have my back, and I assume Duncan, too... Mitch will be loyal to Billy, but he tried to throw my name out to Ash last vote sooo... don't really trust 'im!!!  I'm his 5th, and that does NOT make me happy. 

 I can't win this game, but I will try my hardest to make it to the end.  What we need to do is play up using the villains that wanna flip.  We need to make them think we have a clear target, so even if the vote goes 5-4-1, we still have majority as heroes.  And in the case of this "sapphire idol", the person with 1 vote goes.

I love tea, especially when it's scalding tea.

 Billy told me that Isaac told him that he used this power revealer, and now Billy knows that Mitch has a super idol.  Ugly?  Yea.  That means we can't really touch Mitch, which wasn't a plan right now anyway, but he does need to be the first of the 5 to go, in my opinion.  Like he can't be around.  If he uses it on someone like me or Billy or Drew or Duncan, aka any of the other heroes, I mean... we should survive the round, and we should have numbers because they won't be able to out-do a super idol, so????  I don't know why he has to be so fake unless it was in case we blindsided him pre-merge which LOL wish I coulda done. 

 He already threw my name out there for Ash last vote, so I'm not surprised if he wants me at the bottom of the 5.  That's weird that he's like that considering how I'm the WEAKEST member of the 5, and he has people like Drew and Billy, who are both strong in the game (Drew for physical strength and Billy for strategic value), who he won't betray because... of reasons I don't know.  No matter what, we should be getting through this round okay, but.... I gotta hold out some hope.  It better not be my name that comes up.

Ok so we merged and I hope the villains can destroy the heroes because the villains are better and will always be ;3 also I hope our plan with the idol works and the villains get numbers but I don't know if it will work

Honestly, the Villains sound like one messy ass tribe.  Not saying the Heroes are any better, but like... they're in 2 factions, and they just want the Heroes gone first... like Y I K E.  I hope they try to use me .3. 

Fuck I'm probably talking too much 

They're probably gonna beat me up for thinking too far ahead like I did in Sri Lanka I'm so dumb dslkfjsdlkfsd 

me: I should stop talking 

me 5 minutes later: 

GUYS WHY DID THEY PUT A LINK TO JOHTO IN THE IMMUNITY POST http://i.imgur.com/N1lx7db.png 

So I've been contemplating flipping for the past few days. The only issue is that Jordan Pines is unwilling to flip unless a hero is voted out. And Duncan doesn't want to do that. 

 The ultimate problem is I've said to the heroes I trust that I want to flip. If I don't flip I'm going to become the person who always says they'll flip and then doesn't. And look where that got me in Malaysia. However I will still be badly perceived if I flip alone. I feel like if two people make a flip it's seen as a big move, but if only one person does, they're a flipper.

 I just don't trust Karen and Isaac at all. They've been after me since the start. And I'm certainly ready to make my move, but I'm not sure if it's viable yet.

1:20 AM. Time for a confessional. 

So voting out Ash was kind of hard. It sucks that I ended up on a tribe with people who are early premerge boots, because I felt even worse about reinforcing the fact that that's almost where they're destined to stay? Although Chrissa made FTC in another game, Brandon got pretty far in Canary, and Ash got 4th jury member in PI All stars. I hate that they had to die for our sins, but there's not much I can do if I don't want the vote turning on me. Speaking of the vote turning on me, I'm so grateful and amazed that I didn't get a single vote for me premerge. I knew being positive and being useful to my tribe would give them a good impression of how trustworthy I can be, but I didn't think it would work that well. People just kind of go along with what I say and it's nice. I feel like the heroes trust me, and I trust them. I hope in my heart of hearts that's the truth, but you never know when Billy or Brian or Drew will decide it's not a good idea to let me near the end. 

So merge happens, and the heroes immediately decide we need to make an alliance chat to discuss votes, which is great. I'm glad Drew took the initiative on that. I feel like Ash's unanimous vote really made us a cohesive unit, and we drop tea, discuss votes, it's a cute community. Our first night we discussed how this vote might go, and about all the legendaries that have been caught and all the powers that go with them. We learned Jordan had Entei and a vote burn and used it on Karen, Jay has a Suicune and the power to freeze someone's vote (we're not sure what that means), and Jordan also has Lugia and a sapphire idol. We don't know where Raikou is or what it really does (Billy was kinda vague about that, suspicious maybe?), Celebi apparently had nothing, and the heroes speculated on what Ho-oh could have.

 Of course I already know what Ho-oh has. Speculation happened on what it could be, so I pretended to have this moment of grand realization where Ho-oh has a super idol because it's a phoenix and it symbolizes rebirth. That and several other comments probably strongly hinted that I have it, but as far as I know, Billy and Brian didn't think much of it. However, I did know that Drew and Duncan could pick up on what I said because I told them Ho-oh gave me an idol before. Drew figured it out pretty quickly, Duncan took some guidance (he's been really tired lately, I hope work isn't dragging him through the mud.) I don't regret letting them know either; Duncan is my #1 ally as always, but Drew knowing I have the super idol means he can't turn on the heroes (me) without getting caught. I'm pretty sure he's smart enough to figure that out. It's an olive branch and a warning. 

 This super idol is my ticket to defending myself or defending the heroes, and I'm super glad I have it, because I think I'm the person with the most potential to use it in a game-changing way. Everyone knows I'm a threat, but everyone is focusing on other people to take out at the moment. That's not to say I'm getting out of this tribal with votes, I'm guaranteed at least one for sure, but I think some things are changing with the villains that can give the heroes and I the upper hand. I want the heroes' success, more than my own. As long as a hero wins this game, I can come out of this game feeling like I did something, which is bring my tribe to victory. I dread having to turn on each other at final 5 (ideally) because I know my ass is probably grass at that point unless I beat Drew for immunity. Or I could vote him out before then and not worry, but we just don't know.gif 

Ahh, I'm suddenly thinking about Final Tribal Council. I feel like I have a good shot to go really far with this super idol. Can you imagine me getting to the end without having to use a super idol? I'd be a nicer and more likable Tony Vlachos. That's an ugly comparison. I already feel more narcissistic. 

Anyway, let's move on to merge. The heroes are a tight group of 5 (Five Guys Burgers and Furgers Drew calls it) and the villains are something else. They seem like they're all over the place, and not as kumbaya as the heroes are (seem to be?) Within the first 2 hours of merge, Jay immediately comes to me and starts spilling tea like a clumsy butler wearing greased loafers. He tells me Jordan has a Sapphire Idol, that Lily, Karen, and Isaac have been targeting him since Stevie's vote-off, that he has a Suicune, and that he desperately wants to vote off Karen or Isaac, to the point that he's willing to join the heroes' camp to do it, and that he'll even drag Jordan Pines over with him. Score one for the heroes I guess. 

 AH yes, so let's expand on this a bit. Jay wants to create a heroes/villains alliance of me, Jay, Jordan, Drew, and Duncan (OK, assume whenever I say 'Jordan' from now on, assume it's Pines. Means is a sleeping fish who doesn't do anything socially) While I'm not opposed to the idea, the thought of turning on Brian and especially Billy makes my stomach flip. I'll let Jay and Jordan believe this alliance is legit, but ultimately I'm going to let my gut decide this much later. 

Of course, Jordan Pines complicates things like he always does. His existence in this game... basically scares the shit out of people. Billy is dead afraid Jordan will beat him again, while Jordan proudly announces on call that he wants to vote out Billy purely because he's about to have played more days than him in PI (Billy was not on call, 'twas Isaac, Drew, him, and myself.) Brian probably just feels whatever Billy feels? Duncan doesn't want to deal with him. I think Drew stands where I stand. 

 Where do I stand with Jordan Pines? Mutual respect. Sure he can be a bit off the wall, hell I'm scared of his unpredictability at times. But the very first time I met Jordan Pines, I went toe to toe with him and won, even knowing his chaotic background. That's not to say he can't kick my ass too, quite the contrary. But he and I are challenge rivals, puzzle rivals, we're like two sides of the same coin. I'm playing the heroes game, loyalty and all. He's playing the villains game, trickery and chaos. And I can respect him for that. And in a weird way, I think it would make us a powerful duo to be reckoned with. Of course, in an ideal situation he'd be a meat shield (Why vote off the person who has showered you with love and support over Jordan Pines, who is known to deceive and trick like he was born doing it [or so he says]) but for now I think he could be an incredible ally for the heroes. 

 Is this what he does? Does he brainwash people with mutual respect? I always hear people saying he's always condescending, but he and I don't have that banter? It's strange, I can read him and yet I can't describe him. The thing is, I have been blindsided by Jordan Pines before (not in Survivor, TAR rather) and I have also blindsided him (by turning his ego against him, Happy Jordan Pines Day) So I feel like I have a sense of when Jordan strikes. Right now I think he's telling the truth about wanting to vote out Karen/Isaac, but I'm very on the fence, like 55% truth, 45% lies. Like, look at this conversation, this is the beginning of our talk today: 

[3/6/2017 7:50:44 PM] Jordan Pines: hey how did you do on immunity for johto btw? 

[3/6/2017 7:51:09 PM] Mitch: To be quite honest, I saw it was a flash game and kinda gave up hope knowing you were playing it lmao 

[3/6/2017 7:51:16 PM] Mitch: I only had 3 hours to do it anyway

 [3/6/2017 7:51:26 PM] Jordan Pines: okay thats incredible i was debating giving up assuming you would do the same 

[3/6/2017 7:51:33 PM] Jordan Pines: cause flash games are between me you and drew realistically

 [3/6/2017 7:51:38 PM] Jordan Pines: but i ended up playing for a decent while [3/6/2017 7:51:40 PM] Jordan Pines: so i hope i win 

[3/6/2017 7:51:54 PM] Mitch: I wouldn't be surprised if you did honestly Me? Scaring Jordan Pines into almost quitting immunity? Holy shit. Wow I did not mean to turn this into 3 paragraphs of me being confused over Jordan Pines. Anyway. So right now I think the vote is in a weird spot. Everyone's afraid of merge votes. The sapphire idol is in (arguably) the most chaotic player's hands (And he's actually afraid to use it! That's amazing to me, that an idol's power is keeping him from doing something with it) and he's immune. Of course this could be a facade and Jordan's going to play the idol while he's immune to eliminate the risk of him getting voted out with it. See? I'm already confused about this, ANYWAY. The heroes are 5 strong, we need a direction to go in. I think turning the vote toward Isaac would be smarter, according to Duncan he's better at challenges than Karen. If Jay votes with us, we could easily have 6-4, and if Jordan joins in, 7-3. The alternative is splitting the vote in case Jordan plays the sapphire idol for fun. 6-3-1, 5-3-2, 5-4-1, so many possibilities. I'll wait for new information to come tomorrow before talking it over with the heroes. I'm excited for the possibilities of this vote, because I'm not gonna be merge boot one way or another. Praise the Ho-oh. 3:20 AM. I got distracted with videos about the Switch. 

Oh, here's a quick assessment of the villains. 

Isaac - Went on call with me, Jordan, and Drew, and proceeded to spill small but crucial details about the villains tribe dynamic, talking about Karen and Isaac's votes for Jay out of fear of the sapphire idol. An interesting character, but I think he could gain ground if he goes farther. Ideally he goes home now. 

Karen - Surprisingly quiet, hasn't messaged me with a "Bitchell" yet. I'd like for her to go sooner than later, for voting Jay, but also forgetting to vote in Palau and sending me home in the process. (I know, I told myself I'd seperate games, but come on, she had ONE job.) 

Jordan M - Listen, the only thing I know about this kid is how many memes he spreads in the tribe chat. He's playing almost no different than he did in Hawaii, I'm surprised he's lived this long without falling off a cliff. He votes early and goes to bed like always. Ideally? I'd give him 8th place again, only this time I'd actually be voting for him. 

Jordan Pines - Please just read what I already wrote. I've talked about him enough. 

Jay - One of my best friends in the community, but I have played TWO games with him now and being aligned with him has screwed me over very badly. I'm not looking to repeat that. I love him to death, but I will vote him out in a heartbeat (Sorry Jay, please forgive me if I do anything nasty to you in the future) However, he is a CRUCIAL source of knowledge, and he clearly trusts me enough to come with it in the first two hours of being on a tribe. I will certainly use my connection with him as much as I can before letting Billy and Brian eat him or something.

 Current Pokemon Team: Cardamom the Crobat with a vote reveal Vec the Tyranitar Klaus the Deliberd Shimmer the Ho-Oh with a super idol Dawn the Sunflora Bloom the Bellossom Badges obtained: Zephyr Badge Hive Badge Plain Badge Fog Badge Storm Badge Gonna clocc Jasmine with Shimmer/I might pick up a fighting type Gonna clocc Pryce with Shimmer/Dawn/I might pick up a fighting type Gonna clocc Clair with Klaus/I should get a Dragon type?? 

I love messy bitches with messy plans, considering I'm the messiest bitch usually and have the messiest plans usually.

 I need more info because otherwise I'm a chicken without my head, and that's of no use.

It's finally that time... we merged. And as soon as it happened I turned by back on the original five guys. Karen Isaac and I made a pact that we are getting Jordan out ASAP. We have Drew and Brian with us, who are also two people I trust more than anything.

 I also found the merge idol. So I guess I am as good as I thought.

 Jay has suicune, and Isaac found out about Mitch's super idol. So now I know where all the power lies. And we're going to have them wasted.

 ISAAC DID THAT AND EXPOSED IT AND NOW JORDAN IS TRYING TO SAPHIRE IDOL ME OUT. YOU THOUGHT HUH? We're breaking the Saphire Idol tonight. And jay should be the one leaving. Plus if it is me, I have all my advantages. If I sense anything funny I'm playing my idol. I'm not fucking around. Jordan WILL NOT beat me this game. No way, not this way.

 Plus once Mitch sees that their plan wasn't what we said it was, he'll be with us 100%. No more Jay to feed him false information. 

 Jordan has every reason to be scared of me. I'm not a light player. But yo come after me this way, after I just dealt with all this shit in my personal life is a low blow. So get fucked. You better hope you win all of the immunities from here on out. Because you're GONE next chance with no idol to save you.  And I know you have none, because I have the only two real idols and Mitch has the super idol. Surprise bitch.

hehehehehehehehehhe - my thoughts about tonights vote if it works boooooooooooooooooo - my thoughts about tonights vote if it fails

Okay so we've merged which is fun and I'm in an alliance with Karen, Drew, Brian, and Billy and we're working together to fuck shit up™ And I thought to my gay self "Who better to fuck shit up than Despairsaac?" So I let him out and he exposed Mitch having items and now everyone knows about all the powers in the game with the exception of Jay having suicune and Billy having Raikou. Honestly this vote is so messy I can't put into words the strategy that's gone behind it. It's just fugly.

How does it feel to be in a game full of powers with absolutely zero powers? Pretty good. Pretty good. Anyway I'm so ready to die. Maybe Mitchy will save me with his super idol, probably not.

ok so ill gve u a summary of today: 

-villains come up with a 3-1-1 plan in which billy and mitch are both the ones and billy gets elimed 

-me billy isaac add drew and brian to our alliance -i scream 

-billy brian and drew all tell me the jp and jay have told them that theyre on the bottom, in which i yell bc its not realistic like what kind of crack 

-jp comes up with the plan to say that him and jay will "flip" on the 5-5 revote that the heroes think will happen 

-jay basically reveals that hes close with duncan and mitch 

-isaac exposes mitch about the super idol and vote revealer 

-everyone pretends to be (me billy and the others in the alliance)

 -the villains try to work the vote bc of the super idol -it is confirmed that mitch and duncan are gonna be voting for me billy comes up with a 3-3-2-1-1 in which i get 3 votes, frank gets 3 votes, jay gets 2 billy gets 1 and mitchum gets 1, hopefully this plan works with and without the sapphire idol being played, i should be kept if the vote ties and jay gets clocct with the sapphire idol if jp does play it 

-isaac is gonna expose jay? 

-tribal is happenin and im gonna be sicc

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[survivormyanmar-blog]

Ep. #2 - “Yeah Sure, I’ll Vote With You, Strange Lady” - Brett

After voting off Caroline, Maranda returned to camp pretty upset; accusing the other tribemates of lying to her.  The second immunity challenge was announced and it was a somewhat confusing version of Rock Paper Scissors.  The Fans put a lot of thought into how to prepare for the challenge and submitted a strategically thought out list.  The favorites did random.org and ended up winning.  All of the favorites got to go to The Cave )except Christian chose not to) and Amanda ended up finding a challenge advantage that had to be used pre-merge.  At Tribal Council, it was a unanimous vote to take out Maranda as the other fans were worried about the possibility of her flipping at a tribe swap.

Best way to turn a voting bloc into an alliance is by 1) pulling off a blindside and 2) just saying the word alliance. When you say alliance and say I like you guys it’s hard to say no. The best way to keep it going is to make sure each and everyone of them is comfortable with me. I don’t know or care if they like each other but they need to not turn on me. Last thing I need to do is pass over leadership to someone like Brett or Adrian. I can’t be the voice of the alliance because that’s who they soon turn on.

IM BAAAAAAAAAAAACK YAAAAAAAY https://secure.static.tumblr.com/d70e452b5eb08e05fcd0fda9b654cbb9/zt9ruhl/yotoad3b7/tumblr_static_tumblr_static__640.jpg I’m doing this again, I hope i dont hate myself and regret it later. So lets get started with the confessional shit woo! So me and Steffen started talking immediately cause we’re friends we’re good but ive played with him before and im not stupid ive seen him play so i know i gotta watch. https://media.giphy.com/media/VTksCTQMHrody/giphy.gif Not miss me already having an alliance forming. I’m trash. Lmfaoooo So during Maldives me and Gaston would talk so much on our original tribe but we never solidified anything and literally right when we both were gonna try to work together we got swapped to opposite tribes and then I got voted out right before merge so we never got to align and i remember the night after the season ended i was talking to the hosts and telling them about how much i wanted to work with him and how if i got to merge i was gonna trying and work with him and they were like flipping out because they said if the two of us worked together it would have changed to game completely and that gives me confidence that us working together is a good idea. SO THAT BEING SAID, Gaston and I talked a bunch today and he wants us and Richie to make a Maldives alliance. I’m down tbh, people are probably gonna assume it’s a thing since there’s 3 of us so we might as well make the most of it. So stayed tuned for a chat of that coming soon! https://media.giphy.com/media/cbVCKn5SwfwwU/giphy.gif AT THE SAME TIME THOUGH I KNOW HOW SMART THEY BOTH ARE SO I HAVE TO WATCH THEM TOO https://67.media.tumblr.com/401449fbc05ae1dd4335d410ff964f4b/tumblr_mzcqkp8SDh1s8n9o2o1_500.gif ALSO MY FAVE BITCH LEAH IS ON THE OTHER TRIBE. BLESS OWEN AND TREVORS HEARTS FOR THINKING IT’D BE SMART TO PUT US IN THE SAME GAME HAHAHAHA I’m so proud of her for surviving her first tribal!!! She’s literally one of my favorite people in the world and I’d be so excited to get to a tribe swap or merge with her. If we get there together you better be ready for some good tv! http://67.media.tumblr.com/623e0414a2f59564d202f4e5a6484d97/tumblr_n4pu1kDbnL1tv3r8go1_400.gif http://66.media.tumblr.com/fa304474a1b1383500e2308b0032a28f/tumblr_n4pu1kDbnL1tv3r8go3_r1_400.gif ANYWAYSSSS i’m gonna record a video talking about the cast this week so get excited. I’m really excited to be back so I hope this season goes better than the last one.

Mata at their tribal last night: https://media.giphy.com/media/10FXOtXjvWu0Ja/giphy.gif

Tribal went perfect as Caroline is gone like I wanted. Now I have to get Maranda back on my side. She’s not mad at me but 4 people who lied to her all day. She knew who I was leaning towards voting so I think we can work off that. If we win immunity that is. If we loose I think she can easily become next target.

Okay, so on the subject of alliances. It’s still super early in the game and I want to be significantly less Crackdt than I was in my last game, but I also want to make sure this ass is safe in case we lose this challenge. I think the biggest mistake I could make at this point would be waiting until we lose to make an alliance, since that alliance would almost 100% be based on scrambling and paranoia instead of actual relationships.  So, since  I’ve been talking game with Steffen and Tommy, both of whom I really genuinely like, I think I’m gonna try to play with them, making an alliance with Tommy (and ideally Ashley and Ting Ting for a solid four, who we both like but aren’t that threatening) and keep Steffen and Sam in the loop for votes. Lowkey, I wouldn’t mind if we lost, just so I could figure out where the lines are for future reference. Ugh.

So, after that rather interesting tribal, the voting block of Nehe, Krysten, Adrian, Brett and myself that orchestrated the Caroline vote off formed “The Official Five”. It’s honestly a stupid name for an alliance but at least it’s the majority alliance on our tribe. However, within that alliance, Brett and myself are a tight pair, and have been since the beginning. And no one knows that. We plan to keep it that way. We’re in a bit of a power position, unbeknownst to everyone else. If we play our cards right we could easily maneuver ourselves very far in this game.

Day 3 (or last night) I’m learning as the days pass who I think I can trust and how conditional that trust is. There’s so many different layers of trust. Do I trust you to work in tandem with me? Do I trust you to not go after me? Can I trust you to speak when you should and to shut up when you absolutely should. The alliance of Day 2’s challenge participants (ADRIAN, KEEGAN, KRYSTEN, NEHE, and me) is strong, but each member has their strengths and weaknesses. The same goes for the outer periphery that thinks they are fine even though I believe they are in the bottom half (CARLOS, LEAH, LINUS). And as for MARANDA? I understand that my goose is cooked when it comes to the prospect of potentially working with her. So within the core alliance, KEEGAN and KRYSTEN are the two I trust the most because they’ve done astoundingly well at keeping their mouths shut. My loyalty is the most firm with them. Very very slightly behind is ADRIAN–he has an incredible heart, but he absentmindedly slipped to CAROLINE that there was “another side” to the tribe forming against her. Not smart. Of course, CAROLINE starts spinning out and I have to calm her down for the better of the tribe. It might be to my own detriment because I’m sure CAROLINE And MARANDA feel the most betrayed by me as we just blindsided CAROLINE 8-2. MARANDA has already expressed her sadness at my betrayal. I attempted to sidestep by telling her I thought she was in on it to because of how obviously crazy, intense, and paranoid CAROLINE is and I definitely think she’s not buying it. Should we go to the next tribal council, I’m expecting a vote from her. When dealing with these same ladies, NEHE was approached and he doesn’t have the wherewithal to just lie to CAROLINE and say “yeah sure, I’ll vote with you, strange lady,” and that set off a number of red flags with CAROLINE and MARANDA. So I really just need both ADRIAN and NEHE to be careful with how they deal with people. I can trust both of them when it comes to my life in this game, but they both have loose lips. And speaking of loose lips, hi CARLOS! Oh my God. I really like CARLOS and I know CARLOS really likes me, but in what world is it okay to say at a public tribal council that I am the tribe leader?! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that. So I think our personalities jive, but I am not certain he’s playing our partnership (however loose it is) smartly. Now a target is on my back and I’m not excited about that. I don’t have much to say about LINUS other than that he’s sweet. LEAH concerns me. I would almost want to get LEAH out before MARANDA because she’s transparently playing really dumb when she obviously knows more than she lets on. It’s painfully obvious. She told me I’m the only person she’s talked to, really. I know that’s definitely not true. She’s active and she’s a host of a Big Brother game (they’re not all that different from Survivor). You have to talk to everyone and I’m sure she’s putting face time in with plenty of people. I’ve got my eye on her and I’m worried she has friends on the other side, too. I missed tribal council from doing a live show with former Survivor alumni Corinne and I was shocked that a challenge had already started while I was in the show! I wasn’t able to participate (so ironic given how my alliance formed), so hopefully no one gives me shit over it. I really hope we win this challenge so we can tie it up with the favorites and see one of them get eliminated. Until next time.

aye. we won again! and we all get to party it out in the cave! woot woot! gr9

After Immunity: Another loss…. fuck this. It’s beginning to feel like Ulong. And it’s just gonna elicit more negative feedback and negative emotions…… just great.

I am so happy that we won our second immunity in a row. Not having to go to tribal has really helped all of us settle in and start to connect with each other. I really like Jay, we totally connect and she gets me. Ting Ting is another person I like as well, she is super sweet and hilarious. I am in love with Tommy tbh. His snapchats keep me alive and we honestly just click…. So hopefully some alliances can come out of these connections soon and we can really start playing, just hope we don’t lose the next challenge.

Second immunity loss in a row. I’m trying to keep calm but our ship is starting to sink. The only bit of light in this situation is the Official Five alliance. We have the power to vote out whoever, so I’m not worried about going home at this tribal. We have a difficult decision to make. Do we get rid of Carlos, who doesn’t give off good vibes, or do we axe Maranda, who is feeling betrayed and alone after the Caroline vote? If there’s a tribe swap, voting off the wrong person could doom all us fans.

At this stage I’m only in my host chat and tribe chat. I’ve spoken to some people 1 on 1 but nothing really interesting has transpired. I’ve yet to have that moment where my interest is sparked and I begin to invest myself in the season. I’m trying not to be too worried about that though. In Maldives I had no social/strategic game until I hit the merge and then the dynamic was interesting enough that I started to play. I just have to hope we keep winning because I think I could easily be a first boot on our tribe for my lack of socialising. I forced myself to start a tribe call. I am not having a good time.

Well, round 2 happened and yet again my team did the whole challenge before I even got on which leads me to question why they think a 24 hour challenge has to be done asap. On that note I’m actually lowkey hating my tribe. The majority of them have made it abundantly clear that Im very low on the totem poll, and even those I’ve tried to basically say “LOOK, TELL ME HOW TO VOTE IM AN EXTRA VOTE FOR YOU” aren’t responding very positively (Obviously I say it with more tact then that :P ). I’ve never been one to flip, team togetherness has always been my number 1 most important thing in survivor. Maybe its because in the past 2 games Ive been in I’ve given everything for my alliance just for them to take me out, but Im almost wanted to just jump on my tribe the second I get the chance. It’s not in me to be a liar, and I do still firmly believe that although deception can get you short term power, whilst honesty can get you far, but maybe this time I have to just be careful with who I give that honesty to. Right now the vote sounds like it’s on Miranda, so yay I guess. I heard Carlos’s name was also discussed so woohoo, I guess that can maybe buy me two rounds.  I just don’t get it, you can tell these people are new because they aren’t thinking ahead though. I have it on good authority that it is indeed Miranda, so like, why not pretend to include me and make me feel safe to use as a number later. This is one of the most amateur mistakes in the world and I honestly don’t like it much at all. As for alliances, Adrian/Drew is the the person feeding me all the info right now. We know each other from the facebook community, and even are co hosting a game there so I guess we bonded off that (Even though I know in games in the past we’ve been against each other so it’s surprising me that he was wanting to work with me so much xD). Right now he’s the one person I would use an idol for if I had one, and he is kind of my savoir in the game. If I am to think about flipping I will definitely talk the idea through with him first. I’ve also been trying my damndest to get in with Brett, and man, he knows what he’s doing. Brett is great at the game, and he is the one other person not acting like Im totally on the outs, even though Im well aware that he knows Im not in a power position. I’m really trying to push to him that I want to work with him because if the way he comes off to me is the same for other people, I have a feeling he could be the unofficial leader of the majority. So right now my main strat is the Brett ass kiss maneuver xD.

First confessional of the season and I have to say….I. Don’t. Connect. With. Any. Of. These. People. I love Ashley to death so obviously I know I always have her to talk to, and she felt the same way when the first tribe call happened a few days ago. I went on. Awkward silence. No one was talking. And then I left. Why are you guys so boring. I’m not used to that on calls. But then I’m friends with steffen, and I really like jay a lot. But everyone else so far…..GTG real fast. I’m busy with another game that’s taking up my time right now, so I try to be as active as possible on my tribe. The first immunity challenge I was M.I.A. So that’s why I was so active and gave my input in the second immunity in case we lost and had to go to tribal. I talk more one on one with a few people, which I think helps me out for now. I suck in challenges so I have to rely on my social game. I don’t really have any strategies in mind right now. I’m just going to lay low, and once merge happens or the first tribe swap I’ll start playing more. At least I wasn’t first boot. So that’s one thing crossed off my list. I think our tribe is really good comp wise, even though second immunity was more luck based in a way. I think I just miss all my best friends in the big brother community!!! :( I’m so lonely. I wish Julia had been casted, because I at least would have had her. Oh well. I’ll be fine.

okay this game is so crackedt. I WANNA PLAY like people are still sending my pleasantries. PLAY WITH ME. like i don’t wanna wait until we lose to have to play survivor. That’s not how you play survivor. This lack of game talk can only make me think that others are constantly plotting against me–but I actually don’t think that’s the case. Jay and I were talking and she goes “oooh what if it’s a sudden double tribal” like I would actually shit a brick.

ok so i got a flashlight from the cave so now I can tell ghost stories around the fire at camp

So, I went to the cave. It was dark as fuck and I’m tired from all that climbing, but at least I got a little tea. No idol or advantage or anything, but at least some knowledge and some bonding. Tommy and I are gonna search together (not sure yet how honest I’ll be with him about my searching) and I know for a fact that at least two people on the tribe have gotten something from the cave because a) Sam told me he has a ~flashlight, which may come in handy later~ and b) the spot I went to looked like something had once be there, but nothing was there now. So now I’m nervous, obviously. Sam is a huge long-term threat and knowing he has an advantage makes me very nervous. And if Richie or Gaston got an idol or advantage, it’s definitely dangerous as my alliance is eyeing them for first boot on our tribe. Trevor says we should stay up late tonight after tribal, so I’m just praying it’s something unexpected and not the tribe swap we’re all starting to anticipate.

The as yet unnamed Ting Ting-Ashley-Tommy-Jay alliance is a go. I’m so hype.

So “operation be Brett’s bitch until a better oppertunity arrives” was a success I think. I asked him about working together and he agreed and even wanted to pull more people in, so hey, if that does work maybe I’m not as in the outs as I thought I was! Right now the people we are discussing to bring in are Keegan (who may claim to be a guy, but has a girls name and Mari is his profile pic, so I got my eye on him/her >:( ), Drew and Kristen because she and Brett who both love running. Don’t ask me how a common interest in moving your legs at fast speeds constitutes a grounds for working together, but if it gets us 5 then I ain’t complaining and I’ll just let those jocks do jock things.

Did you know that studies show people who enjoy long showers and baths tend to be the loneliest? So next time your in the shower for more then 10 minutes keep in mind that it’s probably because the waters heat is a subconscious replacement for human contact!

We’re safe again we’re safe again WOO WOO WOOOOO hahaha so we won immunity again. We literally random.org-ed the list and then i said to swap me and Christian and we sent it and we won so that was super cute. http://68.media.tumblr.com/6351a345904ecad9853f857eb9c0f52e/tumblr_ohjo3qEWMB1vaedr6o1_400.gif I should probably talk about the cave huh? Well i’ve been there twice now. The first time I found a flashlight but i have NO IDEA what it does yet hopefully it will be helpful later. Maybe it’ll help me search for an idol in the cave or something? who knows. Then I just went back a second time and I found an advantage for a challenge pre-merge YAAAAS i’m so happy it can come in handy so so much. http://68.media.tumblr.com/04808dd803fb9f6e43b1d6e5ac91780d/tumblr_oag5pixF561vaedr6o1_400.gif I don’t wanna get comfortable because thats when shit hits the fan but I really hope we keep up this immunity winning streak. I don’t wanna go to tribal any time soon.

OMG so much has happened recently! I think I’m in an alright position for the time being. I’m part of a 4 person alliance called “The Golden Girls” formed of Myself, Jay, Ashley, and Ting Ting. I feel as if Jay is running the show because she’s the one who is being really lowkey about everything, making shifts in the sand and has all this previous tea on everyone because she knows so many people. (That’s part of my problem, because I haven’t played since 2 years ago so I barely have any previous tea on anyone!) So I definitely think she’s playing the “mastermind” role, I’m gonna keep letting her do that. Eventually it’s going to come out that she’s a snake and it’ll be her time to go if she keeps playing this way. My plans are to continue building good social relationships with everyone on the tribe and just chill out a bit. This way later down the road I will have more options as to what I want to do in the game and maybe not have as much of a target as all these people who are coming across really intimidating. NOT THAT I DON’T LIKE THEM, BECAUSE I LIKE THEM IT’S JUST THEY ARE PLAYING REAL HARD. I mean playing hard is good but I don’t know if playing hard right now when it’s only Final 19 about to be Final 18 is such a good idea. Also Ting Ting is my #1 ally as of right now just because I feel she isn’t as intense as everyone else but she still wants to play the game, like me. I feel that we are probably the most trusting to each other which will benefit us both when it comes to staying in the game and getting information. Lastly, I think there’s gonna be a tribe swap tonight and I don’t know if this is good or bad for my game, but it’s almost the same as starting over. If there is a swap, I hope I don’t get screwed over. Cheers to Final 18.  

This round has been fairly easy.  We formed an alliance, The Official Five, and all worked really well together in the challenge.  We lost, but have decided as a group our next vote.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXMVh_McwU0