#an absolute fucking dumpster fire lmao

[meowmeowmessi]

chelsea fans moving like true coolers during the burofax drama icl

[catenary-chad]

I like how my human AU Electra knockoffs just keep on shrinking. Might make my new one a sub-5 footer because I keep describing her as being “two sauces tall and looks like, 12”

Little Shit Electra has just been on my mind lately and I’ve just had an itch/concept to make one based on those rare London Mykalectra pics where he looks like a scrunkly lost kitten. Maybe I just want a kind of unhinged runt who’s less angry and feral than Joule and just want to bounce off the walls and attempt stupid things.

[visforvengeance]

pepsi cola

requested by: abbbbsolutely no one lmao

notes: hey y'all. so this has been sitting in my docs since challengers came out and I just finished like at 5 am this morning. i have 2 or 3 other wips for challengers too lmao. but pls absolutely no hate to tashi. i love mean women ok ok.

warnings: alla them. cursing, significant age gap, cheating, double penetration, pleasedontmakemeincludeeverynastythingiwrote, just please read at your own risk!!!

song

you felt your eyes rolling to the back of your head for the 6th time this class period. if you didn’t need this course to graduate, you wouldn’t be here. there was 20 minutes left until you could leave and go practice with your incredibly attractive tennis coaches, the famous art donaldson and patrick zweig. your father had been a big fan of tennis, even partaking in a few lessons in high school. so, when he found out that you’d be playing in college, he was elated. 

as tennis was a big part of your life, there’s no way you didn’t know about art, patrick, and tashi. you’d been to a few of their games, even met them once. how you got two of the best tennis players in the country as your fucking tennis coaches bewildered you. they’d been teaching since your freshman year of college. let them tell it, they found you through one of your games, saw the potential you had, and wanted to teach you how to be the best that they knew you could be. 

that was only the partial truth, though. they did find you through your games, but to be honest, they didn’t really give a fuck about how well you played. they were really just two pervy old men who happened to stumble across you. something about you made them want you. they had to have you. art battled with his attraction towards you, he was a family man. and, old enough to be your father. but, he couldn’t help himself when he watched the way your tennis skirt flew up in the wind. some days you’d be wearing shorts and other days you weren’t. either way, he loved seeing the plumpness of your ass. 

patrick, on the other hand, fully embraced it. he nearly came from the feeling of your ass pressed against him while he was “fixing” your form. it took everything in him not to start rutting against you right then and there. he didn’t try to hide the fact that he ogled the way your tits bounced with every movement. don’t even get him started on your grunts. sometimes, he wondered how you’d react if you knew that he thought about them while he fisted his cock at night. 

you weren’t allowed to have a boyfriend. not that you cared for boys anyway. not the ones at your school, at least. when your mom asked if anyone had caught your interest yet, you couldn’t say that it was your hot 40-something-year-old coaches who interested you. certainly not that one is married and a father to a beautiful little girl. and the other is a washed-up, nymphomaniac trust fund baby. so, you’d say no. and, she’d smile and tell you how important it was to focus on school. but how could you focus when you thought about being fire and ice’s personal cum dumpster all the time?

when your professor announced that class was over, you all but rushed to your dorm. you threw your things down, rushing to get ready for your lesson. you showered with your good body wash and your cocoa butter body oil. did your light skincare, styled your hair, and doused yourself in vanilla perfume. you checked yourself in the mirror, making sure that your lip combination was perfect. you always found yourself wanting to look the very best for your men. when you were satisfied, you shot art a text letting him know that you were on your way. 

when art received your text, he immediately told patrick. they had been debating on if they should make their attraction known to you. patrick, of course, was all for it. he had been basically trying to fuck you since he laid eyes on you. but, art wanted to be respectful of all parties involved. “we can’t just spring this on her, you know that, right?” art looked over to his already drooling best friend, hitting his leg to get his attention. 

patrick smirked at art’s nervousness, he’d always been shy when it came to beautiful fucking women. he thought back to when they were both trying to pursue tashi. he, as always, was more forward with her. however, art, the respectable gentleman he is, took his sweet time. until tashi had chosen patrick over him, and at first he was a bit heartbroken. then, he realized that just because they were dating that didn’t mean he couldn’t have his turn with her. patrick never minded sharing, not if it was with art. 

they shared clothes and food. and, women. and, sexual fantasies. and, their attraction for one another. there had always been some kind of connection between them. it wasn’t strictly platonic or romantic. it just was. and, it’s still that way 20 years later. art was more accepting of it, he embraced it without fear. but, patrick had a hard time doing either of those things. it wasn’t because he was embarrassed, he could never be embarrassed of art. but, no one was there to teach him about bisexuality. it was more taboo than even being gay in his household. the idea wasn’t even a thing until he met art. 

he’d dealt with internalized homophobia, but never felt shame when he was with his best friend. it confused him, but it wasn’t something he’d rather talk about right now. instead, he’d rather talk about you and the way your tennis dress hugged your body. your smell filled the space before you were even standing before him. he stood to pull you into a hug. he fought the urge to run his hands along your sides, massaging and caressing them. 

art was more stoic. he hid his emotions very well. you could never tell if he was displeased with your technique, not even from his tone of voice. patrick didn’t let his emotions slip but he was a little more direct. you’d know if he was slightly disappointed with how you were playing that day. but, that didn’t mean art wasn’t creaming his pants at just how fucking good you looked and smelled. he could just eat you up. 

you paused by the patio door, turning to look at the two men. you looked between them, feeling a tad bit self-conscious at their gaze upon you. your last session didn’t go too well. although, it wasn’t your fault, you were on the receiving end of their brutality. you had overheard them talking while you all were taking a break. tashi had said something to art that he didn’t like again. 

he said that he was tired of the way she treated him. like she was punishing him for retiring, still. you heard him question why they were still even together. if all of this were true then you were questioning why too. but, being on the receiving end of art’s anger excited you a bit. he was dominating. and hard. condescending, not mean. he talked to you like a father would if they were disciplining their child. calm and calculating, art donaldson was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

patrick’s anger was more explosive. antagonistic. he pushed your buttons, made you want to push and shove him. slap him, take all of your frustrations out on him because he lived for that shit. he was a spoiled brat who threw tantrums when your and art’s attention wasn’t on him. patrick zweig brought out one’s worst inhibitions. they really lived up to their names. 

art looked at you with hard eyes, like he was analyzing you. “we have to work on your backhand,” his voice was soft. slightly teasing and alluring, a stark contrast from how he watched you. like he was judging. he wasn’t judging, though. he could never judge his pretty girl. 

patrick watched the interaction. he always watched how art interacted with you. it made him hard thinking about how he was showing his true nature now. yes, arthur can be shy and awkward at times. but, mostly that was a facade. and he has changed. he had gone through too much shit to still be that soft and caring boy from college. whatever revelation art had, patrick was so into it.

you began to pout, shifting your weight to your other leg. “but mr. zweig said that it was perfect.” patrick lied, sue him. he just wanted an excuse to get up close and personal with you. art looked at patrick, who was smirking behind you. you turned to look at the brunette man, frowning at the smirk he wore. fucking patrick. “yes, and patrick isn’t a famous tennis player with an even more famous tennis player as his wife. so.” he stood in front of you. he was so close that you could see the blues and brown in his eyes. 

he stood over you, strong and intimidating. he had his hands behind his back as he bent forward. his lips caressed the shell of your ear as he spoke, “who do you think you should listen to, doll?” your breath hitched at the nickname. usually with art, he’d call you by your name. you didn’t know what changed this time. his eyes moved to patrick who watched from afar. that fucking smirk plastered on his face. 

patrick could see the chill bumps sweep across your skin. maybe he could join in on the fun too. he moved so he was behind you, closer than art was to you. you could feel the girth of his semi-hard cock grazing your back. he looked up at art who was already looking at him. “why’d you lie to her?” art asked. patrick shrugged, allowing his fingers to dance across your hipbone. “she was having a bad day. that fucking professor failed her. i wanted to make her feel better. is that a crime?” 

the air surrounding you was a mix of art and patrick’s scent and your own. it was intoxicating to say the least. but you crossed your arms, turning to face patrick, who looked down at you with that ridiculously handsome face of his. and, that damn smirk. “i’m not some child, you know? you can tell me when i’m doing bad,” they couldn’t take you seriously with that adorable pout on your lips. 

patrick had the audacity to chuckle. without a word, he walked over to the sliding door, leaning against the frame while art talked. “except you are. you throw a tantrum when you don’t get your way, you have never worked a day in your life, you’re 21 and you have people buying you whatever you want.” he laughed softly as he shook his head. “lily doesn’t even act this way.”

you scoffed looking up at him. “i thought you liked playing sugar daddy, though. that wrangler out there sure didn’t come from my father.” it was art who was smirking now. he liked that you were sassy. a little narcissistic, too. he wished he could wipe that fucking smile off of your face. “we won’t be working on your backhand today. instead, you’ll be watching patrick and i, since you can’t fucking play well enough.” you whimpered at that, your pout had made its way back onto your face. “you’re so mean, art.” 

you turned away from him, making your way towards patrick. “yeah, art. that was kinda mean. you ok, pretty baby?” he was mocking you, the bastard. patrick was usually the nicer one, even if there was some underlying reason. art was the more ‘tough love’ kind of guy. he’d chastise and discipline you. and that’s when you’d run to patrick and he’d kiss all of your booboos and comfort you like the spoiled princess you were. 

you rolled your eyes as you pushed patrick away and opened the patio door. you heard him giggle before you set your things down and took a seat alongside the court. truthfully, you loved watching them play. the intensity of it was addicting. whatever bad history they had came to light when they played each other. but, the sexual tension was prominent too. it was enigmatic. no one could reach such intensity like art and patrick. 

it turned you on greatly to see it. their grunts and your already present attraction made you undeniably wet. uncomfortably so. you’d end up showering at art’s place, using the excuse of not wanting to be sticky and sweaty before you went back home. you feared today would be no different. 

you gave them your undivided attention as you watched them. it was unusually hot in new york today, you could visibly see the beads of sweat dripping off of the two men. you wished it was dripping on you instead. the look of seriousness etched onto art’s face was almost enough to make you clutch your pearls. but, it made you clench your legs instead. patrick was less serious. he’d been less serious about tennis since breaking up with tashi and since he’d retired also. 

you learned nothing as art talked to you while he played. you were hardly even registering that he was talking. you must’ve looked like a fool with your legs crossed so tightly over each other, aching for some kind of release that your thighs just couldn’t do justice. you knew what you needed. you knew exactly what it was. you needed art and patrick, desperately so. 

you couldn’t rely on the boys at school to fuck you the way you knew patrick and art could. even when you spent countless nights trying to please yourself, it never satisfied you. 

they talked amongst themselves as they took a break. you tried distracting yourself with your phone while they did so. 

“you know she’s turned on, right?” patrick knew because he observed you. he studied everything you did. how sometimes you twitch when you’re too relaxed. or the very particular brand of lipgloss you use. he knew you when you were anxious and he knew when you were ovulating (because you refuse to be alone with them in fear of not being able to control yourself). art paid attention to you too, but not as much as patrick. 

art could sense that something was bothering you but he didn’t know what. but, the more he looked on he could see your leg bouncing. how you tried to control it by crossing your other leg over it, your obvious avoidance and sudden interest in your phone. 

art finally saw that you wanted them as much as they wanted you. he’d spent so much time battling with his morals for nothing. he didn’t want to wait longer if this is how you were acting. he walked over to you, taking a seat next to you with patrick following behind him. 

you could feel their heat radiating off of them. you were too distracted to be annoyed by it. more focused on the fact that they were caging you in between them. and, then you felt the skin of art’s thigh touching yours. patrick’s too. they were trying to intimidate you and it was working. you listened as they rambled aimlessly about how hot it was as if they weren’t practically on top of you with how close they were. 

then, you felt patrick’s hand on your inner thigh. he was rubbing small circles into the smooth skin. his fingers moved up and up until they felt the fabric of your underwear. patrick was nearly shocked at the dampness of the fabric. he hadn’t expected you to be this wet just from watching them play. but he continued with rubbing small circles, just into your clit now. and, his eyes locked with art’s. they were silently communicating. the looks on their faces said,

“dude?” (art)

“dude.” (patrick)

or however men communicate, but that’s what you assumed they were saying anyway. then suddenly all of their attention was back on you. they only ever dreamed of having you the way they do now, with your legs spread and your hips stuttering against patrick’s arm as you try not to cum. it reminded them of that one time at stanford with tashi. except, you weren’t ashamed to want them both. tashi wanted to maintain her reputation as the good girl of tennis. but you?

you had no reputation to maintain. not like tashi did. you weren’t there yet. but, when the time came for you to shine like the slut star you are, you’d have art and patrick to look out for you. they knew the ins and outs of the tennis world and they knew how to make sure that no one would ever find out how you let them spitroast you.

until then, though, patrick and art will fuck you right here in art’s tennis court. patrick had slipped his fingers inside of your underwear by now. he’s fucked tons and tons of girls in his lifetime, but none of them came close to the wetness that spilled out of you. he just knew that he wouldn’t be able to control himself when it came time to stick his dick in you. 

he carried on playing with your clit until your pushed his arm away from the oversensitivity of your orgasm. now, you sat wet and sticky between two incredibly hard men. if only your father could see you now. 

art removed your drenched panties so that he and art could take a look at the pretty little mess between your legs. and they were in awe. something about seeing art on his knees before you made you clench around nothing. you could’ve sworn you heard a moan come from the stoic man, but your ears are still ringing so you’re not too sure. 

he leaned forward and ran his tongue from bottom to top, collecting his juices on your tongue. this time you were sure you heard a groan coming from art. the taste of you drove art crazy. he wrapped his arms around your thighs, locking you in place, and went to town. he did completely disregard that patrick had already made you cum because he stopped caring about your well-being the moment he got his mouth on you. 

this was for him. art ate your pussy for his sake. you cumming from it was just a bonus. so, he lapped at your clit like a madman. licking and slurping and then tongue fucking, all of it was for his enjoyment. but, he did enjoy the way your legs wrapped around his head as you practically humped his face. he encouraged it. he wasn’t entirely selfish. 

patrick sat beside you still but this time with his dick in his hand. he jerked himself off as he watched patrick eat you out. your moans had become louder now, uncaring of who heard. somewhere in your daze, you managed to wrap your hand around patrick. his eyes traveled up your body until they met yours and you watched each other while he moved both of your hands up and down his cock. the sight of the other added on to the pleasure you both were receiving. 

it wasn’t long before you were both cumming. the warmth of patrick’s cum spreading over your hand triggered your second orgasm. art allowed you to take control while you rode out your high on his tongue, pressing his face into your pussy. patrick watched you like his cum off of your hand with lidded eyes and whimpered at the sight. and, he was hard again. just like that. 

the way you managed to make them feel like horny teenagers again blew their minds. they did fuck other people during your mentorship with them. but, no one made them feel like you were making them feel, rock hard and each ready to pump you full of their cum. 

you hadn’t realized that art came while eating you out until you looked down and saw the wet spot on his shorts. it was your turn to whimper at the sight before you now. after the three of you had shared your glances of realization, there was a rush to get all of your clothes of off. you tried your best on wobbly legs after two orgasms, but you managed to get it done. then, immediately you were all a mess of body parts. all hands and lips were one each other. the three-way kissing quickly turned into two as you removed yourself from the pair. you sat back and marveled at the two men while they tongued each other down like no tomorrow. 

then your hands were on each of their cocks, jerking them off. they still hadn’t realized they were kissing each other until one felt a pair of lips on their neck, placing soft kisses alongside it. patrick pulled away when he realized he was kissing art. then art looked at you at patrick looked at art and you looked back and forth between the two, smiling. still jerking them off, you giggled. “what? like you haven’t done it before?”

you knew something happened between the two men when they were younger. but, they never specified. so you used your imagination. 

your hands moved to caress their faces. you kissed both of them each time while pulling them closer and closer until all three of you were kissing again. your lips moved in sync with the others until they broke away and were both leaving kisses along your neck. their hands squished and squeezed each of your breasts, massaging your nipples. you moaned while they each left love bites on your neck. 

you could feel their precum dripping down your body, you needed to have them inside of you one way or another and they wanted it just as much as you. they helped you onto your hands and knees. one in front and one behind you. patrick lined up with your entrance. you could feel him entering you, slowly at first, then he pulls out. almost fully, and bullies himself back in. not gently but not too rough either. you were well prepared to receive it either way. art allowed patrick to build up a rhythm before he slid himself into the warmth of your mouth. he bottomed out until his cock was well in your throat. 

there were so many noises, one would say it was straight out of porn. the wetness and skin slapping of patrick fucking you from behind. and that ‘schlick!’ sound and slurping as you deepthroating art. and the moaning, too. you were being spit-roasted by two men 20 years older on their not-so-hidden tennis court. it may as well be a porn. 

you could hear them talking about how good you felt and all you could do was moan. patrick had such a grip on you hips, and art held onto your ponytail while he fucked your face. you were so turned on by all of it, you started to cream all over patrick’s cock. and then once his fingers found your clit again, you were squirting around it. your clenching around patrick uncontrollably made him cum. he fucked you until he had nothing left to give. art held you down while he came deep inside your throat. “goood girl,” he moaned as you swallowed all of his cum. 

you hadn’t expected to be fucking your coaches today. but, you’re glad you finally got to experience your true dream. 

[the-one-who-lambs]

Putting my friends and mutuals in my cult went about as well as expected...

First to be indoctrinated tonight was Ru @xmajordumps. Not really sure how they got here, they were available to indoctrinate when I booted up the game and, uh, sorry, you'd been stuck in limbo for like 2 months. Don't worry tho I rescued you. Ru's the little brown rat praying by the statue. Cosmi @cosmica-candy is (because what else could she be?) a cute little yellow starfish I rescued from Helob and Wart @cultoftheswag is my little pogchamp snake from Silk Cradle (both praying), and Sara @bamsara is being fucking useless in this screenshot because they arrived elderly so I immediately sacrificed them and revived them lmao.

Why were you mad about this tho.

Once again, Sara, I have no idea what the hell you are but you're fukin purple.

We were off to a pretty great and uneventful start until Cosmi, still a fucking infant, asked to go on a mission. I gave her the one with the highest chance of survival.

Wart is a seafood lover. Here's a closeup of your little silly.

GIRL PLEASE. You haven't even been here a week.

Since that was a depressing loss, I decided to kiss my catboy wife to make myself feel better. He doesn't really seem to know how to kiss. I love him so much he's so fucking useless.

Damien @lordiedams has been here for a while, but he decided to become invisible and haunt the crops, just.. standing there ominously.

Next day rolled around, and Sara asked me to recruit some dissenting asshole that became Deli @delirisse. Look at him. Look at how much of a piece of shit he is. Fuck Sara for gifting me this three-negative-trait follower and fuck Deli for sucking absolute donkey dick /lh.

In conclusion, y'all should cultify your friends/mutuals it'll be a dumpster fire.

[the1975attheirverybest]

(Cabin) Pressure

A/N: This is probably unnecessary and super indulgent, lmao. I just have this impossible urge to baby him, OKAY? he's so....UGH!! anywaysssss!!! As requested by quite a few of you, here's part 2 of the flight one-shot. on a scale from 1 to absolute dumpster fire, lmk how bad it is, lol. Honestly I’m so conflicted about posting it, I might end up deleting later. AND YES SMUT COMING TONIGHT, I PROMISE. Just can't be writing smut at work in case one of my students comes to my office.

Read Part 1 here.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, depiction of panic attack.

----

The guys hurried ahead to give her and Matty some privacy. She felt Matty's hand stiffen in hers as soon as he watched the automatic doors of the Departures Terminal open and his bandmates walk right in. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his breathing quickened.

She squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to his body. "Hey," she looked up at him. "You're gonna be alright, yeah?"

Matty gave her a weak smile, nodding slowly. He wasn't sure he believed her. He wanted to. Desperately. But he couldn't control it. It was like his body reflexively reacted to his surroundings before his mind could step in and control how he felt. He could physically sense the tension seeping into his body, right on cue.

"Well, shall we?" he turned to her.

"No pressure. Take as long as you need. We've got time. We'll go in whenever you're ready."

"But the lads-"

"Matty, look at me...there you are. We'll catch up with them at the gate, yes? It's okay." Her free hand moved to touch his face, the sensation grounding him.

"Right, sorry, I'm being silly." he smiled timidly. "Okay, think I'm read. Let's do this."

"Lead the way."

She kept her eye on him as they made their way through the airport, watching his body for any signs of stress.

Matty stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw the airline counters at the end of the hall.

"Fuck! My passport! Don't think it's in my bag! I don't remember seeing it-"

"Oh, god, sorry! I- I took it." she winced and looked apologetically up at him. "Sorry, I- uh, I thought if I kept track of the tickets, paperwork, and passports it...would give you some wiggle room so you didn't have to worry about sorting that stuff out...It's all with me! I have them here..."

To her surprise, and relief, Matty burst out laughing. "I think by thinking so hard about not panicking, I'm startin' to stress myself out. Alright, deep breaths."

She watched Matty close his eyes and take two deep breaths. Inhaling slowly, then opening his eyes as he exhaled.

"Okay, I'm all good now." He smiled, genuine this time. "And, thank you, baby, that was really kind of you to do." He dipped his head down to give her a quick kiss.

She rummaged through her bag, pulling out their documents as they approached the counter. "I can do it if you'd like..."

"No, it's okay. Think I can handle this. But, umm, keep holdin' my hand?" He blushed as he heard his own words leave his lips.

"Of course. I'm right here. All the way until security physically separates us."

***

With check-in and security now behind them, they wandered the airport in search of their gate, and the rest of their group. Matty seemed to relax a little, so she took the chance to suggest breakfast.

"Hey, wanna go over there and get something to eat?" she point towards the express version of some chain restaurant.

"Too anxious to eat. Afraid I won't be able to keep anything down."

"Please, baby? the nausea's probably worse when you're operating on an empty stomach. Let me buy you a little snack? you don't have to eat it right away..." She noticed Matty's attention shift from her gentle pleading to something else, something right behind her. "What're you looking at?" she frowned at the faint smile on his face. Turning around to check what was behind her, she saw a pair of young women, roughly in their early 20s, eyeing him hesitantly and struggling to contain their excitement.

"do you mind waitin' a bit? Think I'll go over there."

"Matty, are you sure? You know you don't have to do that if you're not feeling it."

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, my love. Put yourself in their shoes...you're tellin' me that if we bumped into, I don't know, Harry Styles, right now, you wouldn't go up to him to say hello?"

She giggled and shook her head. "I- I wouldn't expect HIM to be the one to come to ME."

"Oh, so now you're telling me that, if Harry Styles were right here, right now, you'd actually have the courage to go up to him yourself?"

She couldn't help but smile. At least, the fact that he took the opportunity to tease her about her celebrity crush was an indicator that he was in a good enough mood. "Alright, let's go say hi." She relented.

"I appreciate you watching out of me." He placed his hands on her cheeks, kissing her, and giggling against her lips bit at the sound of the girls squealing behind him before he went over to greet them.

He sweetly introduced himself as Matty and gave each woman a hug, whispering "nice to meet you, Darlin'" as he pulled them in. He signed the backs of their itineraries, agreed to FaceTime a friend, and stood for pictures with them.

"Do you wanna take it or do you want me to take it? Actually, you know what? My girlfriend, here, can take it...Babe?" He gestured for her to come closer, "do you mind?" handing her the girls' phones.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and whispering in her ear as they walked away, waving the girls goodbye and wishing them a safe trip.

"I never said it would be bad! I was-"

"Just trying to take care of me, I know." He kissed her cheek. "But I'm okay. Really. Cuz I've got you."

***

The flight seemed off to a good start, with her and the guys taking turns at sitting with, and distracting, Matty from his thought spiral. Take off was a bit rough for a moment; he visibly broke a sweat and almost crushed her hand in his while the plane settled into altitude. She quickly brought him back the a calm enough state after that, though. They argued over which film to watch, eventually agreed to each watch their own choice, before Matty petulantly abandoned his screen and begged to watch whatever she was watching instead. This, of course, meant that she had to pause and explain the plot to him, bring him up to speed. She pretended to be annoyed with him, but secretly, she was glad for it because, the more that she actively participated in distracting him, the less likely it was that he'd let his mind wander and start overthinking.

Her plan seemed to be working, until it wasn't. 7 hours into the flight, Matty's senses were overwhelmed. He could no longer block the anxious thoughts away by steering his attention towards her, his friends, or whatever forms of entertainment were available to him. He even got out his laptop, tried to do some work to keep his mind occupied, but as time went on, his anxiety sucked more and more of his energy, until his will inevitably weakened, and he succumbed to the catastrophic thinking...

His eardrums pounded with the sound of his own heartbeat, the sounds of his surroundings being reduced to a faint, persistent whisper. He felt the air get sucked out of his lungs, panting and sweating as his eyes scanned the tight quarters. The voice inside his head screamed for him to leave the airplane, but he was aware enough to know that it was physically impossible to escape. Both sides of his brain locked in an impossible battle, the result was a near-complete paralysis. He lost the feeling in his limbs, his vision going blurry. Even breathing became a consuming conscious task. He felt like he was drowning underwater.

"M-matty? my love, what's the matter?" She was immediately alarmed when she'd glanced away from her book to check in with him. "You look like you're gonna be sick...Do you need me to call for someone?"

With great effort, Matty shook his head, looking helplessly at her.

"Talk to me, honey..."

"P-panic attack." he stuttered, short-winded and struggling to breathe.

The words brought instant tears to her eyes, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed by how quickly his pain had crushed her heart, but she wasn't about to make this about herself.

Delicately, she reached around his neck, loosing his tie. "I'm gonna take this off, okay?" explaining each of her movements as she did them so as not to startle him with anything unexpected. Matty's scattered brain was, of course, much too overwhelmed to process anything that she was saying to him, but the softness of her tone somehow made him nod anyway. She stood up, looking a few rows behind her, for George. They'd made an agreement that she would signal to him if she needed his help. Unfortunately, though, George was sound asleep, from what she could tell.

Shifting her attention back to Matty. "I'm gonna undress you, okay?"

She unbuttoned his button-down. "Honey, are you with me? need you to take off your undershirt, okay? it's much too tight."

When he made no effort to follow her instructions, she reached over and took it off for him. “Okay, I’ve got a better shirt for you in my bag. I just need to get it from the overhead bin, alright? I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Matty might as well have been asleep; he made no movement or attempt to acknowledge her, which broke her heart to a million pieces. 

She hurried over to George’s seat kicking it roughly to wake him up. 

“He needs you.” She simply stated as soon as she saw George’s eyes flutter open. 

George cleared his throat several times. “R-right. I’m up; I’m up. I promise.” He stood up, peaking ahead of him to wear Matty was seated. “He’s…naked?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I’m getting him clothes. But I need you, you gentle giant. Help me get my bag before you sit with him? Just need to get his stuff…”

George sprung into action, following her commands swiftly while she went through her bag to find a 1975 crew neck that was two sizes too big on Matty, and a pair of his joggers. She’d packed them when he insisted on wearing his shirt and tie to the airport, hoping she’d use them under happier circumstances, but right now, she was just glad she’d thought ahead. She went over to the flight attendant and grabbed him some water to go along with the sleeping pills. 

By the time that she’d made it back to their seats George, had somehow talked Matty into reclining his seat, closing his eyes, and apparently leant  him some headphones. “What- how-“

George, ever the wizard, just shrugged. “It’s all I could think of, alright?”

She broke into a smile, kissing her friend’s balding head. “You’re an Angel, George.”

“Hmm.” George hummed, smirking. “Listen, I’ll go get a coffee to wake myself up. Give me a shout if you need me, yeah?”

***

Matty got through the reminder of the flight relatively alright. While he didn't manage to fall asleep, despite the sleeping pills she'd given him, nor did he manage to eat any real meals, the first class reclining chairs were comfortable enough for him to close his eyes and focus on an audio book for a couple of hours, and he did nibble on a piece of buttered toast while wrapped himself up in the blanket she'd bought him and shuffling through her especially curated playlist. The anxiety never completely left him, but he was happy to endure a lower-level persistent anxiousness instead of the sudden panic attack that had gripped him earlier.

At long last, they'd touched down and began their journey out of the airport. Matty always wondered if the arrivals terminal is universally more difficult to get through, or if his impatience to finally be done with the travel part always made it seem so, regardless of where in the world he'd found himself.

At baggage claim, the stress of the journey seemed to catch up to him. He wrapped his armed around her waist, burying his face into the side of her neck and breathing in her scent. Just when he'd closed his eyes, hoping to catch a breath while they waited for the couple of items that they could neither ship ahead of time, nor bring in their carry-ons, to appear on the carousel, he became aware of a couple of people catching on to his presence.

"No, Matty, please." her hand grabbed onto his arm around her waist when she felt him slip away from her, getting ready to greet the fans.

"It's fine, Darlin'" his voice was heavy with sleep, as were his eyes.

She sighed, this time, she couldn't be supportive of his decision. As she spotted his guitar and got ready to retrieve it, she overheard him apologize to a few people for "looking sweaty" and mumbling something about jet lag. Ross stepped in to help her with the bag, listening silently and nodding in agreement as she whispered her complaints about Matty's lack of boundaries. If she'd let him get a word in edgewise, he'd have said "you should've seen him when our career first started, he was acting like he was every fan's best mate." George joined Matty for a moment, saying a quick hello to everyone before politely excusing himself and pulling his friend away. "We've gotta go, Matty, c'mon."

Though George had succeeded in extracting Matty away, his victory was short-lived. At the airport gates, the guys were surprised to find a group of more than just a handful of fans waiting for them. Phone cameras flashed as soon as the gates opened, the crowd calling out and vying for the band's attention.

Adam was the first to jump into their designated car as it pulled up by the side of the building. Ross and George followed shortly behind him. Matty, on the other hand, was quickly separated from them when he paused momentarily, slightly thrown off, by the presence of people on both sides of the gates.

She rushed over to him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the car. For a moment, Matty let her lead the way, trailing behind her with a hand on her hip to keep from losing her. He kept his head down, but closer he got to the crowd, the louder they were, and the faster his heart beat. His palms were beginning to sweat and breathing was getting difficult again. A voice in the back of his head told him to stop, to take a look around and stop staring at his feet, and when he did, he saw the faces of the people looking at him and he couldn't help it. He let go of her hand, walking over to one group, while the other screamed out his name.

She attempted to call out his name, but her voice was drowned out by the phones beeping, cameras flashing, and excited chatter. She stood there, astounded as he smiled and hugged a few people, apologizing that he couldn't sign someone's phone case because he didn't have a pen on him.

He turned around to the second group, "I promise, I'll get to all of you if we don't cause too much trouble and security doesn't get involved. could we...maybe just move away from the gates?"

She sighed, exasperated by the lengths he was going to. He was practically behaving like a event organizer, ushering people away from the rest of the public.

As well intentioned as his plan was, it did not work out quite as he’d imagined. the moment that he moved people away from the airport gates, everyone naturally formed a circle around him, a few people elbowing their way to the front. He was trapped.

Matty froze in place, fighting to keep his expression straight and suppress the fight or flight response that had kicked in. What had he done? The illusion that he had any control at all over the situation was quickly blown away. She could see his hands shaking by the sides of his body as he struggled to regulate his breathing. She couldn’t take it anymore.

She squeezed her way past an appreciable number of people, trying to get to Matty. “Excuse me, yeah, could I just- get through. Thanks.” She grabbed his hand. “Hey, you,” and leaned into his ear “Matty, whatever you think you’re doing, it’s not smart. Let’s leave.”

“Just a second. Almost done.” He whispered, fully aware that there was no way people weren’t listening to their conversation.

“You’re not feeling well, let’s get in the car, please?”

“A few more people-“ she pulled him by the arm dragging him away from people and towards the car. Matty waved apologetically at groaning people who were mumbling how unfair this was, dipping his head low and rushing to keep up with  her. 

The chatter between the guys in the car fell silent as she and Matty climbed in. They settled into the backseat with Matty instantly clinging to her and resting his head on her chest as the car drove away. Her hands reflexively found his hair, running her fingers through it and kissing his forehead.

“Baby? Could I just say something?” Matty spoke, finally breaking the dead silence, once they’d made it onto the highway. 

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She said firmly.

Ross and Adam exchanged a look of surprise. Clearly impressed with, and in support of, her new tone.

Matty lifted his head halfway off of her looking up at her. “But I’d just like to explain-“

“I said I don’t wanna hear it. Can we not talk about it right now?”

He replaced his head back on her body, her hands resuming their soothing motions through his hair. “Can tell you’re angry.” He mumbled. 

“No shit! Of course I’m angry.” He heard her heartbeat rise as she spoke. Her hands still comforting him though her tone was definitely sharp. 

“I just wanna-“

“I said I don’t want to have this conversation right now, and yet, you keep fuckin’ pushing. Look, I know you love your fans. You’re grateful. And, honestly, it is one of the greatest joys of my life watching you interact with them. The knowledge that you can be so tender and compassionate- not just with me me, not with your family, the boys, your friends- but with complete strangers as well…that’s what makes you a man in my eyes. So, trust me, Matty, I don’t say this lightly, but you have absolutely no boundaries. You’re a pushover!”

Matty was quiet for a moment, taking in the gravity of her words. “Okay, I can see why you’d think that.” he opened his eyes, looking up her through his hair. “But could I just explain my side of things?”

“There is no ‘your side’! You are mentally and physically exhausted. Matty- you were literally shaking. And, this wasn’t a professional event! This wasn’t a signing or a meet-and-greet!”

“That’s exactly why l-“

“My point is, it wasn’t safe! What if someone’d gotten hurt? What if you’d gotten hurt? There was no security to control the situation. Nobody to help or be held accountable! There’s a reason everyone else was sitting in this car, and not out there with you.”

“I get it.” Matty conceded.

“We were all bending over backwards to make sure you’re okay, then you go and willingly put yourself in a stressful situation that would trigger you. I mean,” she shook her head, speechless. 

“I just- I’m sorry.”

“I know. Let’s just not talk about it anymore. Alright?”

Matty’s arms squeezed around her waist as he nuzzled his face deeper into her chest, kissing her skin in a silent apology.

The car fell into another silent lull, until, several minutes later, George peaked his head from the passengers seat and told her and Matty not to check Twitter. 

“Oh, god. What’d you have to say that for? You know Matty’s gonna wanna see it now!” Adam groaned, chastising George. 

“What?” George shrugged. “I said ‘whatever you do, don’t check Twitter,’ I didn’t say to hurry up and check it.”

“I’ve literally been biting my tongue this whole ride.”

Matty, who’d been  half asleep in her arms, pulled out his phone, blinking rapidly to adjust to the light of the screen. 

Just as he’d suspected, photos of him being dragged away from adoring fans were already circulating the internet. All captioned with dramatic out of context narratives. 

“Matty Healy and gf argue in the middle of airport parking lot”

“1975 front man  physically dragged away from fans by possessive gf.”

Comments embellished the description using every colorful name in the book. From “jealous” and “immature” to “frigid witch.”

Matty set his phone down, neither one of them said anything. They spent the remainder of their ride to the hotel in silence. 

***

“How’re you feeling?” She emerged out of the bathroom, walking over to Matty’s slumped over figure on the bed. 

“I’m sleepy, and hungry, and tired, and I smell like airplane.” He mumbled. “I’m also sad.”

“Why’re you sad?” She bent down to kiss his nose. 

“Cuz you’re mad at me. You don’t seem to understand- the fans…they’re like the most important thing. Unless I’m physically tied down, I will always go out there and meet them. Never gonna be dismissive. Never gonna make them feel like they don’t matter to me.” Matty sat up in bed, taking her hands in his, and pulling her closer to him. “You can’t put out the kind of music that I put out, and then pretend not to want anything to do with the people who listen to it.” She nodded, attempting to signal that she was on his side. “There are ways of saying ‘sorry, not today guys.’ Without being dismissive or rude.”

“I hope you know, that’s never gonna be me. I’d never say that to them. It’s just not who I am.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to suddenly change. I just hope you don’t expect me to either. Cuz I’m still gonna worry about you and try to protect you when you’re in over your head.”

Matty smiled at her with droopy eyes. “Deal.” He kissed her lips. 

“Sorry they’re saying mean shit online.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve wanted to be a witch since I was a little girl!” She giggled. “Now, c’mon. I ran us a bath.”

“Wait…us? Like you AND me?”

***

“You had a really rough day today, huh?” She whispered as she snuggled into him, getting comfortable in their hotel bed. 

Matty turned on his side to face her, the smell of her freshly washed hair calming his mind. “Couldn’t have gotten through it without you.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby.”

“Could we just…stay here, in this bed, for ever. Just you and me. Where it’s safe, soft, quiet.”

“Sounds like a great idea. Yeah, let’s do that.”

[andy-clutterbuck]

LACEY! I just finished watching towl and WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK. I knew I could come to your blog for all the good Rick stuff and that this would be a safe space to thirst, lmao. Like, I knew he would be fine in the episode but MY GOD. If I still had a way to gif and wasn't out of practice, I would be all over it. So I concur with that one anon, if you can, PLEASE give us a gifset of just that shoulder holster thing. (Also, it's been awhile. I hope you're doing well :D)

KAY!!! MY FRIEND!!! 💙💙 The dumpster is absolutely on fire and open for business, everyone can pull up a chair, get warm, and obey their thirst. And legit yes lmao that was me too. Like, "yeah Rick's hot, I didn't forget-OH MY LORD???!?" *GLASS BREAKING* *SIRENS WAILING* *DOGS BARKING* *CASH REGISTER NOISE*

[sapphire-weapon]

The absolute dumpster fire that wouldn't happen of they ever gave Leon a surprise blurry-mothered child would be iconic. Not a trope I'd LIKE to see, but having people tear each other apart like rabid animals because of little beckys hair colour, eye colour and fighting style is CLEARLY indicative of so and so being the unnamed mother, would be fucking hilarious.

I'm joining team "Unnamed President stole his sperm to make a super soldier, and Leon found only out because the math that comes from a fifteen year old daughter, and not being laid in thirty years just isn't... mathing. Chris went to hunt down the mysterious stork that he still believes in."

i want the kid to come out biracial because hunnigan's the mother because that is guaranteed to piss off every single shipper in this fandom LMAO also leon and hunnigan together is hot idc what people say

but then again i don't want that for hunnigan because you know she'd basically be a single mom because leon's a deadbeat

but on the other hand hunnigan would be an awesome mom so idk

[runninguplenorahills]

Lenora you’re back!!!!!💕💞💕💞

How have you been?

Heyyyy✨🌞

I’ve been doing pretty great honestly. I got through my finals and I actually did quite well :)). I didn’t take the biology exam though because holy fuck I can’t even do simple math and we were supposed to do crazy equations, no calculators allowed💀. So yeah, didn’t study at all and woke up in a cold sweat like three days before the exam and quickly set myself on inactive because I would’ve definitely fucking flunked it. But English went great, got one of the best grades out of the entire course for my presentation I was sweating buckets over beforehand, linguistics went well as well and the rest was just pass or fail and fortunately I passed but I’m still waiting on a feedback for my pedagogy portfolio. Speaking of waiting, I spent weeks in February working on my art portfolio and applied for art school and I’m waiting for a response to that, too.

I also finally read “The song of Achilles” but it sadly didn’t earn its place next to my favorites, like, it was actually only three stars for me if I’m really honest. Currently I’m reading “Persuasion” (I’m about half way through) and that books actually pretty great but the first like 80 pages are just like, set up lmao. But after that it quickly gets better!!! I haven’t continued reading in a couple of days though which I should absolutely do soon because the new semester starts in two weeks and then idk how much time I’ll have to read. I’m actually taking British and American literature classes in the new semester which I’m pretty excited about!!!!

Oh boy, I also finally watched s5 of Miraculous and the alternate universe Paris special and the movie and bro, s5 was an absolute dumpster fire…. Actually fucking insane. But the Paris special was kinda entertaining lol, and I can’t lie…. the movie was pretty good. Like… it was honestly great hahahah. I also watched Cars btw! I have watched the first part before but never the rest and then my sister wanted to watch Cars so we did and yeah, Cars is amazing ofc. I also finally watched But I’m a Cheerleader which was all over the okays but it was funny and I loved the ending. I’m trying to remember what else I watched but I don’t remember anything else… hmmm… Oh!! Omg, I watched Christopher Robin and I didn’t not except that movie to be as good as it was. I was in genuine tears over fucking everything and yeah, very enjoyable. I also watched The Sixth Sense which was good, did not see the plot twist coming though, Like, spoiler! I literally remember thinking “oh.. so he survived I guess” when it says “next fall” like a fucking idiot 😭. I don’t think I watched any other movies though.

Wait, I also read the entirety of Jackson’s diary on webtoon and it was a fucking roller coaster.

Other than that I’ve been hanging a lot with my friends, especially those who moved to another city for university. There’s this café we always and in the past two weeks we’ve gone three times and you can borough games to play and we usually play scrabble which is always sm fun!

Oh and holy shit, I turned fucking 20!?!?! Absolutely batshit insane, I cannot believe it.

Also, I just kinda left tumblr very like, impulsively because I had finals coming up and thought it’d be distracting, but also, tumblr tends to suck the life out of me sometimes so I thought taking a break would be worth it either way. After finals where over I then had to work on my art portfolio and I have a huge procrastination problem so I stayed off tumblr because I knew it would make it worse and so I just left and didn’t reply to anyone, which, I’m sorry, I missed you and the other mutuals so much but I also don’t think that many people even noticed that I took a break in the first place. Anyway,I’ll probably dip when Uni starts again as well but I thought it’d be nice to catch up with y’all before that happens.

How have you been doing :))💓💗💓💗💓

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

If you’re never going to change your mind, and only going to become more myopically hateful/hostile wherever anybody call you out on it, why would you make your terrible fucking media criticism public in the first place?!! If you're always going to wrongly believe your idiotic opinions about cartoons are the only correct ones that a person could possibly have, what’s even the point of giving people the CHANCE to point out how fucking terrible they actually are??!!!

My god, I certainly have very strong opinions about certain movies, TV shows, video games, etc. that I’ve watched and played, but I would never get THIS irrationally fucking angry about them. Let alone wail and scream like a child whenever anybody comes along to my PUBLIC POSTS about them to argue with me about them! Healthy disagreement is absolutely ESSENTIAL to have when it comes to developing a good method of media criticism, but this level of just petulantly lashing out at even the MILDEST disagreements with what you say leads to media criticism abilities becoming incredibly malformed and often just. . . .broken as a result. Although, considering the type of company that you keep, I suppose it really shouldn’t be THAT surprising that your media criticism ‘skills’ are as massive of an utter fucking dumpster fire as hers are!

Oh so this is about me hating the Gravity Falls finale! Lmao watch more shows idiot not my fault you’ve got bad taste

Anyways if you’re looking for some quality animated media to relax to I would recommend Big City Greens or perhaps the new Total Drama. You probably wouldn’t like them though. They’re good without the use of copium.

[shivsghostinthemachine]

So who do YOU as a writer love her most with?

Now thats a genuinely hard question lmao

All the ships i have for her have their own things i love about it

Buuuuuut honestly? Its gotta be johnny

I love jackie, i LOVE takemura

But my god the dumpster fire that is johnny and ghost is riiiiight up my alley of writing

The enemies to friends to lovers, but not quite lovers but some fucked up other thing they have no name for

The angst, the rare tenderness, the fucked up decisions her feelings for him make her do, or is it because theyre becoming one? Who knows, no one knows, i dont even know!

The fact she looks at johnny and feels nothing but gut twisting adoration and need, need for him to be there and to stay forever cos she cant go through that kind of loss again, and she would rather blow up the world than to spend a single second of her life without him (tho i suppose blowing up mikoshi is good enough)

The fucked up dynamic between the 2 that is absolutely toxic in every way cos of the codependency is just smth i enjoy writing and thinking about a lot, which im sure will earn me some serious side eyes

Writing for me is a big outlet, always has been my way of venting, which is why u’ll rarely see me write happy stuff that stays happy, its a way for me to channel my pain (so edgy, i know), and it brings me a lot of enjoyment to do that

[anti-anti-vents]

Props to you OP. The rest of the thread is so gross, how do people see “LGB” and not realize they’re TERFS lmao? And I thought one of the big TERF things was saying they’re LGB but NOT queer? Did that change or is it just convenient for them to ignore it right now so they can dogpile a trans woman?

And not that one account saying that queer means “odd” or “not normal” as if that’s not fucking proving your point?? Are kinks perfectly normal and accepted in society now? Get real.

And I’m pretty damn sure if you actually understand what kinks and consent are, there’s no danger in acknowledging the huge overlap of queerness and kink! However, it’s certainly dangerous to equate necrophilia, pedophilia, and beastiality with kink! Especially since that correlation doesn’t go away even if we don’t label it as inherently queer! Not like these people care, if they don’t even care about trans people they definitely don’t care about kinky queers. Just the good little assimilationist queers, right? Anybody who you think makes you look bad you throw under the bus, right? May as well throw life-ending accusations at them to while you’re at it. God. “But what if accepting kink makes pedophilia okay!1!!1!” Go absolutely fuck yourself. I’d ask you to educate yourself but you clearly don’t have the capacity.

What a dumpster fire of a thread. Sorry for putting this on peoples blogs but like what the fuck. So infuriating.

i will repeat, for no reason in particular

taboo kinks are inexorably queer. as it stands, it is queer to grow up physically or sexually abused, to have your sexuality disorganized instead of understood and reinforced. it is queer to suppress your attraction to kids your age and instead develop a complex around your abusive parent that you feel weird about. it is queer to have notions of consent be corrupted by ritual shame and humiliation. we cannot all be perfect victims of cisheteronormative society, saying otherwise is placing your own feelings of disgust over reality.

[louislyrics]

x

[asingularshieldmaiden]

Can people stop using canon jiang cheng tag for pro jiang cheng content. It’s the anti tag so instead of trying to flood it and interact with the antis it would be better to just block and ignore the tag and same w the anti accs… the risk is them coming back to the mainstream tag bc their echo chamber is no longer an echo chamber.

It’s a separate ecosystem and yes it is annoying that it’s called canon jiang cheng bc it’s not actually canon behaviour but like if u block it you shouldn’t care because you won’t see it!!! The antis get off on interacting with the stans so if you stop interacting with them it becomes boring for them as they can only fume in silence and yell to each other. They are not going to go away and start magically liking jc. They aren’t going to read your insightful essay and go “yeah they actually have good points” bc if they are posting to canon jc they’re past the point of no return already!!!

It’s a delicate balance. It’s a good thing that they have their own tag bc the shit content is on it and easily blockable. We have the good stuff on the actual jiang cheng tag as should be. If you are posting to canon jiang cheng and it is pro jc content you are losing a large part of your possible audience bc seasoned jc tumblrs have made their peace with it and just blocked it. Tumblr’s unofficial communal policy is block and move on so please please just do that :-|

[unclefungusthegoat]

Well... guess who ended up re-watching the whole of Musketeers season 2 in the end lmao

It’s just... him... he... 

[cleromancy]

YEAH LIKE... I DON'T THINK THERES ENOUGH EXPLORATION OF JASON AS SIR NEVER-MET-A-FIRE-HE-COULDNT-THROW-KEROSENE ON. the makes it worse guy!!! bc like Jason CAN be so completely earnest but thats on rarer occasions, most of the time he's an absolute cunt. and he is playing mind games like you wouldn't believe, jason would be winning the chess match even WITHOUT eating the pieces but baby he just does it for the love of the game!!!!

and honestly im really interested in like. the juxtaposition btwn that and jason being a little bit obsessed with tim in the way where. god, post-resurrection jason is SO lonely and SO unwell about it. and like i said originally all these comics are bad to the point where I don't necessarily expect other people to incorporate them into their interpretation of jason so if someone wants to be like "actually i think jason should think tim sucks and be deeply unimpressed with him" ykw thats fair. but i mean. god. okay i mentioned all of these in my original post but im going to actually post panels now to talk about hang on. (atp im less in conversation with the person im reblogging from and more just rambling again lmao, sorry)

but god i do think its SO funny that canon post crisis jason actually thinks pretty highly of tim, the guy he repeatedly wipes the floor with

teen titans:

like. okay so first of all I understand that jason having delved into fucking tim drake lore to find this out was not an active characterization choice, it was bad writing. jason knows this bc the reader knows it. but in-universe this is not like. common knowledge. talias opinion on tim drake begins and ends with "spends too much time on those computers of his." he could access various peoples files on tim but to extrapolate this level of *correct* information from what ppl would feasibly write down or even know in the first place? HES THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT.

AND HE DOESNT BELIEVE ITS POSSIBLE BC HE THINKS ITS JUST SO. VERY. IMPRESSIVE. its so goofy like its sooooo goofy!!!!!

compels me though.

gonna be honest. i just don't think jasons capable of being normal about that. and then he ends the comic being like "well im just going to think about this a regular amount." let me know how that works out for you baby

"hes good" [footage not found]

like...when did you suss that out jay? was it before or after you beat the ever loving crap out of him?

robin:

this is also like. immediately before and after two things im just like heehoo i dont see it. (the first being wanting to use kids as fodder and the second being tim saying jason thinks like a blunt instrument, although the second one honestly i can still work with. tim thinking jasons a moron is funny, honestly, and itd be fun to see a version of robin 177 where tim gets his ass royally kicked for underestimating him after YEARS of mentally rewriting his understanding of jasons robin years so his imagined narrative conveniently supports Jason not being good enough). god honestly this arc was almost as much of a trash fire as bftc. fucking ulysses pulled the red robin suit out of the dumpster jason left it in to go harangue tim, which i had completely forgotten about

anyway

jasons so fucking annoying. god bless.

(side note: i love that "still." like. jason is taking the adoption and name change *exactly* as seriously as it deserves and also zeroing RIGHT in on a weak spot. classic jason.)

bftc:

and tim proceeding to hit jason with the crowbar... this is a good fucking ship. i fucking wish these comics were good

AND I MEAN-- i only read as much into the picture wall in lost days as i do bc i already ship it but like. its there. it sure is fucking there.

anyway what we have here is like. the Jason-Liker's Dilemma, where its like we have to cherry pick through bad comics and massively inconsistent characterization to decide what we'll incorporate into our personal canon and this is really one of those where. even though the actual canon is pretty clear that jason thinks highly of tim and keeps seeking him out im not going to argue with anyone who wants to be like "postcrisis jason hated him actually" bc like. whos to say, maybe the comics youre pretending exist would have actually been good instead of bad.

but to ME these instances took root in my brain and now im just like. jason todd wants to crack tim open like an otter with an oyster jason wants to crawl inside him like a tauntaun jason needs to get RIGHT UP IN THERE and figure out what the fuck his deal is. and i think it is very interesting to contemplate how he would go about doing this if given the opportunity.

this is getting way too long....... im just going to send it. lol

the fact that preboot jason never found out tim took jason red robin costume once he "got fired" (-tim, only in the privacy of his own head)/"graduated" (-dick, well-meaning)/"got thrown out with the other garbage" (-damian, hilarious)/"left" (-tim out loud, ignoring them both)

the way tim (reliable narrator) was like. yeah this costume is already tainted and i have to be willing to do morally gray things to prove bruce is alive. so thats why im wearing it. because its tainted. this is the most logical course of action and also the only reasonable explanation i retroactively landed on for a decision i already made

tim also having no way of knowing what the universe jason GOT THAT COSTUME IN WAS LIKE OR WHAT BRUCE DID FOR JASON IN THAT UNIVERSE

and its like well MY interpretation is that. yeah of course he wants to take on one of the outcast's identities to bring bruce back. and then of course hes going to just hang it up when bruce comes back because hes going to stop feeling like an outcast just as soon as bruce comes back and everything goes back to normal. This definitely doesnt signify a major change in the status quo or his role in the family (he *is* still family they signed the papers and everything, they gave him the name, it wasnt just pity its real hes still family he *is*, he hasn't been cast out, he *hasnt*) or his priorities or-- its temporary. when bruce comes back everything is going to be better and he wont need this suit anymore and hes going to hang it up just as soon as he stops feeling this way and everything is going to be fine.

smash cut to bruce upon his return doling out one (1) hug and immediately fucking off on a globe trotting vanity project and Tim just left staring after him like Oh. okay

(and like bruce was never like. going to be able to magically fix anything even if he *had* any interest in doing so. this was not a reasonable expectation tim had. some of the shit tim is losing his absolute marbles over does not actually even *need* to be "fixed." to be excessively clear.)

anyway i think jason "do you really think youre that good" "so work *with* me" "join me. be my robin" todd deserved the chance to really gleefully dig his fingers into every single one of those sore spots. GO FOR IT JASON. MAKE HIM WORSE

also like. god battle for the cowl was so unserious on every possible level but can you imagine if dick at the time had been like "i still cant figure out how he GOT OUT OF PRISON. he used the jla codes! how did he even get those!" and tim (guy who gave jason the fucking codes in robin 182) was just like

yeah. weird

[aleximustd13]