#an absolute delight to write even if in a slightly unhinged way

[shitpostingkats]

Okay okay okay, since you are at the start of season 2. I need to ask something rq.

What do you think about Soulburner and Flame so far? Soulburner is my favorite personally from the entirety from Vrains, but I also love Flame. So I am very curious to hear what you think about them so far!! SORRY I AM JUST EXCITED GO HEAR PEOPLE'S OPINIONS OF STUFF I LIKE-

Excitement is always welcome in this house, bestie.

I'm having a BLAST with Soulburner, in exactly the way you sometimes look at characters that seems almost suspiciously tailor made to your character tastes. What do you MEAN he's a happy love filled shonen boy with fire and explosions???? AND he's an awkward socially blunt weirdo by day???? Who leaked the file of Spk's Favorite Character Types and decided to throw that into a blender????

LOOK AT THIS SCARF.

How much in-game currency do you think he paid for an animated accessory with a custom particle trail? I'm obsessed.

He's got such a good dynamic with Yusaku, both capable of laser focusing on the task at hand, but Theo does it in such a different font. The only bad thing I can say about him is that I am not capable of following the rapid fire flow of information that is Salamangreats, and my word association brain finds it very weird that the archetype has yet to show me a single salamander monster. What do you MEAN this isn't an archetype based on lizards???

(Literally my only complaint. I understand that it's silly but I really like lizards okay. Kagetokage was peak and I miss him every day. But I am coming around to salads.)

Flame is such a delight as well. Instead of the passionate idiot that you'd normally associate with Fire (Soulburner has that base covered), we've got this cool and collected british dude who you think has it put together until he opens his mouth and you realize he's a little bit insane actually. I just met a certain little green fella and am slowly coming to realize that all the ignis are just Like This. And it's GREAT. And totally makes sense for the weird road to personhood these lil guys had, but mostly I just love that they're all unhinged and slightly wrong in the head. Icons, the lot of them.

But most importantly, the thing that absolutely endears Flame and Soulburner to me is their dynamic together. Friend shaped cheerful shonen boy who just wants friends but also lights himself on fire on the reg, and his six inch tall little weirdguy whose snippy and sarcastic but gives friendship speeches to his human buddy because he openly shows that he would burn down the whole world for this guy. Just like Ai and Yusaku, they've got this ever-so-slightly-unhealthy trauma bond going on. (Which is great. Again, praise be to the writing that this show makes such a complicated dynamic come across even while not directly addressing it, just in little day-to-day conversations and incidental remarks.) But unlike the other two, they're also so openly affectionate and casually ride-or-die. They laugh at each others jokes! They gas up each others bits and have honest conversations! They're freaking besties and it's so funny when they're standing next to Mx. Yusaku "I have never learned what a normal healthy social interaction is in my life" Fujiki and Mr. A "I grew up on the internet and have a weird understanding of social norms so I just make jokes and think that constitutes a friendship" i.

I knew I'd love them when Theo sat down and tried to explain human social rituals to Flame through their shared special interest, I knew I ADORED them when Soulburner asked "Why are you acting like we're going to lose?" and Flame replied "For dramaaa~"

[serenityhime1]

White and brown for the ask game! For brown, how did you get into writing generally? 💖

White: I got asked this a few times, so I'm answering differently each time. Moar. Queer. Content. It can be inherently difficult to add queerness into stories, especially when your OTP is a straight-appearing couple, but damn if I'm not absolutely delighted when people add in queerness to their stories, even in an offhanded way. People are complex and nuanced and I want more of that in everything I read.

Brown: I was a voracious reader as a kid. I can't place exactly when I started writing, but it was pretty darn early. I know for sure that when I was around 9 I entered a writing competition at school and did well, but when it went beyond the district level people got mad because they didn't think a kid had written it without help. This was the same year that I dressed up as Polgara the Sorceress for a book report.

I think it was around the same time (maybe 8 or 9) that I decided to write a book the first time. It was about a warrior named Crystal Light. This was hysterical to my mom and grandmother, because while I thought it sounded cool it was also the name of my Grandmother's favorite tea/drink mix.

I've just enjoyed writing as long as I've enjoyed reading. I started writing fanfiction in high school, and I have no idea what triggered that except that I can only assume that I stumbled across it and realized I could just write whatever I wanted about shows that I loved (I'm sure you can guess my first fandom from my user name). I think I mostly stopped writing after college, except for some stories about LARP characters here and there.

Most recently I started writing fanfiction again when my wife got me to start watching DBZ Kai again and I realized I needed to know what happened between Bulma and Vegeta. I started reading fanfiction, and I realized I could write it, too. Stepping back into writing has been immensely fulfilling and it scratches the creative itch for me.

I'm also glad to have found an awesome community of artists and writers here on Tumblr that make me feel welcomed and slightly more normal for my unhinged ideas haha.

I do not apologize for this long-winded answer. I've done it before and I'll do it again.

[freneticfloetry]

Hi Courtney! 7, 9, 19 and 21 for the writer asks please 💗

Hi, D! Thanks for taking an interest in little old me.

7. What's the story or fic that you're most excited to work on or share next year?

You guys, I got so wrapped up in the TiMER fic that I was wholly unprepared for how the same in every language would absolutely invade my brain. I’ve mentioned a few times that I am not the world’s most natural smut writer, but something about the delightful little slut (affectionate) that is TK Strand has flipped a switch in me, and my snippets are suddenly all smut, all the time. Well, smut and feelings. But smut. So, so much smut. It got to the point a few weeks back that I had to take away the “Five Times Fic” aspect, because there are so many more times than five. (That said, I’m still super excited for the TiMER AU, and to explore the exploits of a certain little someone in the to build a home followup.)

9. What's a scene you wrote this year that you're particularly proud of?

As Tay can attest, the We Need to Talk About Iris scene in to build a home just about gave me fits until I had a little eureka moment about Carlos’ headspace — I’m really happy with how that one turned out. But the hospital scene post-kidnapping, with Andrea and Iris and Owen and those conversations with Gabriel and TK — all the people Carlos has ever called home — is the one that inspired the whole fic, and despite it being almost ungodly long, that’s the one I go back to and feel the biggest sense of accomplishment.

19. What was your favorite comment, or piece of feedback this year?

This is the fic version of Sophie’s Choice, I swear. It’s like asking an author to pic their favorite fic baby. @lemonlyman-dotcom left a slightly unhinged four-part comment on the last chapter of tbah that will hold a soft spot in my heart forever, and @heartstringsduet’s words on the first chapter shared that Iris’ depiction had touched on something personal for her, which was extremely touching for me (plus she called me a “wizard of specificity,” which is going to be a random point of pride for as long as I live). But I think @never-blooms’ comments across the board, with all their lovely little details and all the things they pointed out that no one else really knew to, resonated for me, in the context of the fic, at the precise frequency of the story itself and the way I set out to craft Carlos’ origins, and struck me in a way I can’t quite explain but made writing the fic feel even more worthwhile. Flowers for you, Beth! (And randomly, there was also this one, which called out my constant and frankly ridiculous use of alliteration as a good thing, and made me sort of wanted to hug it.)

21. Not a question, but a challenge! Say something nice about your writing!

Um… my tendency toward alliteration is not actually that ridiculous!

[mmvalentine]

Hey. Can you write a canon divergence where feyre runs into Issac when she visits her family in acomf and jealous Rhys👀

A little 'fresh mating bond' feysand? Oh yes. Yes I can.

We're All Just Animals

We arrived in the human world a day before the meeting with the mortal queens. Now that we were mated, Rhys was voicing a new interest in the village where I grew up, and wanted to spend a day walking around my old town. More importantly, we wanted time to walk around with each other in a place where we didn't get stopped every other minute to be congratulated by doting citizens. With the bond so fresh we... weren't always up for being around other people for extended periods of time and avoided being caught in casual conversations.

So there we were, wandering the market place like newlyweds. At home, I had put a stop to Rhys buying me lavish gowns and precious jewels. Leave the hoarding to Amren, I always said. But here I let him spoil me with trinkets from local vendors: wooden rings, pressed flowers, and spun sugar in the shapes of birds.

To our great satisfaction, no one approached us. No one knew who we were or wanted to make small talk. I supposed I looked very different now to what I used to- where I had been a pale, dirty starveling last I lived here, I was now fae with decadent meals every day and months of Illyrain training. If I walked past nineteen year old me, I'm sure she wouldn't recognise me.

But Isaac Hale did.

"Feyre?" he called.

"Isaac!" I beamed. Since Rhys and I had been mated, it felt like everything delighted me. Despite the looming tensions with Hybern, I was just so deliriously happy, and the feeling was as intoxicating as it was unfamiliar.

Isaac? Rhys echoed in my mind. He knew exactly who Isaac was.

"How are you?" I asked him. "Where's your lovely wife?"

"I'm good. She's at home," Isaac said, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to not stare too hard at me. I remembered how it felt to be dazzled by the beauty of the fae, and I felt a little sorry for him.

"I'm supposed to be bringing home a bag of salt and a few other spices," Isaac said. "Should we walk together?"

Ice crackled into my veins, starting where Rhys's hand held mine and shooting through my arm to my heart. I glanced at him, and if his grip hadn't turned vice-like, you couldn't tell that he was bothered at all.

The mating bond was a strange thing. The ever calm, ever suave Rhys I knew was consumed by the possessive instincts of evolutions past, and I wondered in the last few days where his reasonable self had gone to. I was all too aware of his absolute intolerance of males around me- even his own brothers, sometimes.

"Sure," I said, smiling beatifically at Isaac.

Then again, maybe the mating bond did strange things to me, too.

We turned and strolled down the street together, and as we did, Rhys's hand slipped from mind and slid round my waist instead. Tugged me into his side, and dug a little too hard into my flesh.

"So," he said, his voice perfectly light. "Isaac is it?"

"Yes," Isaac blinked, as if only now becoming aware of Rhys. My smile grew slightly wider, while Rhys beside me only got colder. I couldn't deny the rush I felt when Rhys got like this. When I could make Rhys like this. "I'm an... old friend of Feyre's."

"Funny," Rhys said casually. "I'd never heard of you."

Liar, I shot at Rhys. His talons scraped against the shield of my mind, found purchase and latched on. I shivered.

Isaac chuckled good-naturedly. "Ah, well, I suppose that makes sense, given... ah, our relationship." Wrong answer.

The talons twitched tighter, and the edges of my vision blurred for a second. I swatted at them, and they loosened again.

"It's been a long time," Isaac said quickly, noting the way Rhys and I walked together, the way Rhys was holding on to me.

"Too long," I purred. "We were going to stop by the tavern for a drink, if you'd like to join us." Rhys stopped dead in his tracks.

Feyre, he murmured, dangerously low.

"That would be lovely," Isaac said, and only noticed a second too late that Rhys's expression had lost all pretense at civility and was now openly hostile.

Rhys, I mimicked.

"Fantastic," Rhys said, eyes sparking. "Lead the way then." He gestured dramatically out in front and Isaac, now wildly uncertain, glanced at me before walking ahead of us.

What are you doing? I asked Rhys.

Going for a drink with your ex-lover, apparently, Rhys replied. A muscle jumped in his jaw.

He's an old friend, I reasoned. Don't kill him.

Rhys's eyes slid sideways to mine. Feyre I know you what you're doing.

I blinked innocently back at him. I don't know what you're talking about.

I pried his talons off my mind primly, and they sulked away.

I hadn't been to the local tavern since leaving the human world. It was dark and dingy just like I remembered- although my fae nose now picked up scents that I really didn't need amplified.

There were tall barrels dotted around the room that stood in as tables, and in the centre of the space were a couple of worn couches. We picked up our mugs of ale and sat down on one of the latter. I had Rhys on my left, and I leaned my back against his shoulder as I turned to Isaac. Isaac set his drink on the low table, and sat down on my other side. Moved a little further away when a low warning growl emanating from Rhys as soon as his backside hit the cushion.

"How are your sisters?" Isaac asked, now clearly uncomfortable. Rhys's arms slid around my middle, and his chin rested on my shoulder.

"They're doing well," I told him. "They're much more comfortable since my father's trade has picked up."

"Yes, I've been glad to see your family's good fortune return," Isaac said. He reached for his mug, which happened to be near my knee. Rhys's teeth snapped loudly next to my ear, and I slapped his thigh lightly.

"Behave," I said mildly. I reached up and stroked his hair without looking at him, and he moved his head to touch his nose to my palm.

Isaac, on the other hand, was looking at Rhys with wide eyes and had snatched his hand back so fast you'd think the tankard was on fire. Without a drink, he rubbed his hands together awkwardly. I picked up my own mug, and slid Isaac's across to him at the same time. The taste was sawdust on my lips now, but Isaac drank his down quickly.

"See the Archerons often, do you Isaac?" Rhys asked lightly. He was now circling his nails on my knee, and they were just a bit too sharp. I could feel it all the way up my legs. A craving for more, more, more of Rhys's touch stoked in my belly. Isaac blanched a little at how Rhys's mood seemed to be lurching.

"Uh, no, but the family is well known around town, of course."

Dear gods, I thought. His hands are actually shaking around his ale.

Rhys saw this too, and his gaze went straight to them.

"I see," was all he said, and then he pulled me right into his lap. I would have objected, it was far too intimate for this public setting. But then his hands squeezed on my hips and I realised he was hard beneath me, and all thoughts emptied out of my head. I shifted my hips automatically.

Isaac tipped back the rest of his ale, and stood hurriedly.

"Well," he said. "It has been a pleasure seeing you again, Feyre."

I held out my hand and he touched my fingers. Rhys went deathly still around me, and as soon as Isaac turned to leave Rhys was up and walking me roughly across the floor. Down the hall toward the staircase that led up to the rooms, where the shadows were dense and we were away from the main room. Then he spun me roughly and pushed me toward the wall, where my hands caught me and my breath came fast. Rhys threw up a shield so hard it cracked the beam on the ceiling, and then he had his lips on the back of my neck and his hands pushing up my skirts.

"Mine," Rhys snarled in my ear. His nails raked up the backs of my thighs and I gasped at the sensation. "You're fucking mine." And then with no further preamble he yanked my hips back toward him and sank himself inside me.

I cried out with the sudden movement, and then a wild little laugh escaped me.

"Oh so you think it's funny, do you?" Rhys asked, and started fucking me with his hands tight on my hips.

"A little," I said breathlessly. "Are you jealous of a young mortal man?"

"No," Rhys growled, and one of his hands landed on the wall next to mine, bracing as his pace increased. "No I'm not jealous of that boy."

"Then what's- oh, mmm what's wrong?"

"What's wrong is you're my mate and no one, fucking no one gets to touch you but me." He punctuated his sentence with sharp thrusts of his hips. I arched my back to get him deeper, and his teeth gripped my neck at the junction of my shoulder.

"Well make me yours then," I said, and the words set Rhys off into a frenzy. His hands slid over my chest and squeezed my breasts on top my clothes, and he was fucking me so hard I could barely breathe.

"You wanna be mine?" Rhys panted. "Fuck me back." I moaned and tried to keep up with the hurtling pace he had set. "That's it," Rhys said. "Fuck me back and come on my cock."

Indeed the pleasure was piling fast now, and I gloried in this unhinged, savage version of Rhys that so rarely got let out. Now, mating bond in hand, I had its collar on the end of my leash and I loved it.

My head fell back against Rhys's shoulder and caught my ear lobe between his teeth. My hand reached for my clit, but Rhys stopped me and put both my hands firmly on the wall in front of me. Then his own fingers slid between my thighs and his tongue continued under my ear in time with his hand.

"Come on my cock Feyre," he said roughly. "Do it. Do it now."

And my body knew who it was answering to. My climax stuttered out of me and I spasmed in the cage of his arms. Rhys tightened around me as he fell into release too, and we were shaking and shuddering and coming apart against the dull wood of the tavern.

Rhys rested his forehead on the top of my shoulder while we caught our breath, and then he cleaned us up with a wave. The sounds of the crowd floated back in as the shield protecting us dissolved, and Rhys grinned against my beck as he hugged me once more into his chest.

"Such a wicked, cruel mate," he purred. I turned my head to kiss him, far too pleased with myself, before walking back out in front of him.

I ran straight into a man with as much ale on his breath as was left in his mug.

"Oh hello sweetheart," he said.

And Rhys stepped up behind me and gave such a feral growl that the man backed away very fast.

"Home," he gritted out, and I kissed him hard on the mouth as he winnowed.

****

It occurs to me that I could also have done a whole bit about Rhys reading Isaac's memories of Feyre in the barn, but also it's 11.24pm you get what you get 😂

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @philosophorumaurum02 @story-scribbler @allthecolorsneverseen @asteria-of-mars

[starvels]

From the anon the prompted and loved your “AI Tony and Ghost Steve have an argument about souls” fic, comes the question,

Ghost Tony and AI Steve have an existential crisis together

Aka, Tony get confirmation that he had a soul this whole time, and Steve gets to be mad that someone (Ultron? Doom? Red Skull, Tony?!?!??) digitized him to this extent. (Maybe it was punishment, maybe it was the answer to a crisis and this was somehow a solution, maybe someone couldn’t let do)

(Not a prompt so much as a brain tickler)

hi darlin'! i hope you are well :')))

you have the funnest ideas! this is a delightful role reversal.

my question is, WOULD tony take this as confirmation of a soul OR WOULD he take it as proof of eternal suffering that he's earned, to never be at actual peace? or maybe both, okay he has a soul but its still not...allowed to end, to rest at the end of things?

i feel like ghost tony would absolutely be at his UNHINGING END with his lack of ability to affect the world around him in any tangible way. not able to touch, to problem solve, to be heard even - would render him so helpless? no chance of fixing his own cataclysmic fate, just kinda doomed be an inactive particle floating along other people's choices. seeing people suffering, unable to do anything for them.

i firmly believe that stagnancy is a circle of hell for tony stark.

for AI steve, i totally agreeee. he'd be hornier than a puffed toad. full sense of betrayal, definitely lashing out at ghost tony, but also i think bowled over by the cognitive differences that being an AI engenders in him? protocols, look-ups, wet ware connections? does he have an LMD? is he amorphous? he would struggle with both having a fake body and not having a body at all.

he'd probably be a bit terrified and distraught that tony is dead and that means potentially there is no one around to 'fix' him? is his body still around actually?

two wild possibilities have occurred to me, writing this:

steve always was a form of AI. his brainwaves were somehow copied and pasted onto the super soldier body the US army grew in a lab.

tony wakes up a ghost after having discovered this, seems conclusively killed because of this knowledge and now has to break it to steve, who is anything but amused by this joke. but the more and more time steve spends as an AI he realizes the truth and an existential crises hits him like a brick to the face. meanwhile, tony is trying to manage steve, keep him going instead of shutting down, and also try to figure out how this was possible in the 1940's, AND maybe slightly more importantly - who exactly killed tony for knowing steve was an AI and who stuck steve in a computer terminal?? can tony catch a fucking break?? he's already dead, how much worse can it get, etc. mystery, intrigue, plot, yearning, maybe a happy ending?? can tony please get a waffle??/

OR

tony has to teach steve how to code/engineer/build a new body (with as little mech or as much as your brain thinks is sexy, obvs) for himself because steve refuses to stay as a hologram.

its all endless time together without the need for sleep or basic human functions like superheroing interrupting them and they get to talking about all the things they both have forgotten and remember and blah blah they fall in LOVE, ALREADY WERE, NEVER HAVEN'T BEEN, ETC. BUT IT;S DOOMED bc tony is dead for good :)))) and the more they share, the more at peace tony feels and the further he fades into the afterlife. and steve realizes this and cries, etc. and tries to sabotage his own body and tony stops him and says i want you to live on, that's what i need to be at peace, i know now. and steve's like, that's such an asshole thing to put on my shoulders, i hate you, don't do this to me. and tony says i need you to live. steve says i need you to be alive and tony says, only one of these things are possible, steve. so it's! unhappy ending?? magical intervention?? pain either way? :) pain either way.

ANYWAYS. good prompts buddy ✨👌

[newtonsheffield]

I’m almost embarrassed to admit how many hours i’ve spent going over your headcanons 🙈 they are so delightful! I’m wondering if you are interested in writing something about Ben and Sophie, Ben wanting to move in sooner than Sophie is comfortable with (cos of the money and all the jazz that the Bridgerton name brings). How does Ben convince an insecure Sophie?

Oh Lord! Hours?! I feel like I’d give up after a few minutes with a little shake of the head and a  My god, she’s absolutely unhinged But thank you for having the guts to do it tbh!! I truly appreciate it! 

Ben+ Sophie+ moving in together and the awkwardness of wanting to share your life with another person but being unsure if they want the same thing? When You asked so nicely how could I refuse?

No matter how ridiculous it seemed, Benedict Bridgerton could not pretend he hadn’t been in love with Sophie Beckett from their very first date. And when, after 4 weeks of dating she’d finally sighed and said “Because it looks like this.” When he’d asked why she’d stayed at his house, but he’d never even been in hers, She’d taken his hand and tugged him upstairs from the stoop he usually left her on, biting her lip the entire way, eyeing him carefully as she swung the door open to a tiny flat that was smaller than the bedroom he’d had as a child, his heart had threatened to break. Because Sophie Beckett deserved the best of everything, and none of the circumstances of her life and truly been her fault, but here she was picking up the broken pieces anyway. Benedict had forced himself not to scoop her up, and carry her back to his house and force her to stay forever. Instead he’d settled himself on the edge of the bed and said  “I like knowing things about you, Soph.” And though she covered them quickly, he’d seen the tears in her eyes.

He’d been fighting the urge to ask her to live with ever since, but he desperately didn’t want Sophie to think he was trying to save her. She was an independent person by necessity, and he’d heard from Kate how she’d asked for an invoice after Kate had told Sophie’s step mother exactly where she could go (Kate had wrapped her arms tightly around Sophie and said I haven’t had an argument that satisfying since I stopped pretending to hate Anthony I should be thanking you), And even though her new job at a restaurant Lucy had happened to know was hiring paid her rather a lot more than Penwood House had, their wealth disparity was still rather huge. But when she’d sighed a little this morning and said she had to go and sign a new lease for her flat later today Benedict had known it was time. They’d been together for nearly seven months after all, that wasn’t odd right? Anthony and Kate had practically been cohabitating since they started dating though Kate had maintained that No they didn’t live together until they’d been together for 9 months. Though Benedict had eyed the little sofa that had suspiciously appeared in the corner of his brother’s living room after a month embroidered with Newton rather dubiously.

So here he sat, staring at his girlfriend calmly reading a book as though he were a lunatic desperately trying to figure out how to delicately raise the subject with her.  “Do I have something on my face?” Sophie’s calm voice broke through his reverie, startling him a little. She was looking at him a little curiously, her hand frozen midway through turning the page of Vanity Fair. Benedict shook his head quickly “Sophie, I want to talk to you about something, I’m just not really sure how to bring it up?” He said as calmly as he could manage though the end of his sentence tilted upwards as though it were a question. Sophie’s reaction was immediate. Her posture stiffened, her eyes were suddenly harder, as though she’d shut a door in them, her book closed sharply, and her voice wobbled only slightly when she said. “It’s fine, Ben. I get it, this was probably a little too good to be true anyway.” She smiled sadly and made to get up from the sofa next to him, and panic clawed at Benedict’s chest. He’d thought she might be hesitant but this reaction he had no idea what to do with. She was halfway across the room by the time he could force himself to react. “So you, don’t want to live together?” He said quickly, his words coming out as a jumbled mess, falling over each other. Sophie froze again, and then turned slowly back towards him, her mouth slightly open. “Live together? So you don’t want to break up?” Her voice was tiny when she asked it, barely floating back to him on the couch. Benedict bolted from the sofa his heart in his throat, wrapping Sophie in his arms tightly. 

“I love you, Soph.” He said firmly, and he heard her sharp intake of breath and felt something suspiciously like tears on his chest “I love you, and I want you to move in with me so I can keep loving you in a place that’s ours.” Sophie pulled back slightly her eyes still a little hesitant her voice cracking when she spoke. “I want that too Ben but... I don’t think I can afford your rent?” And Benedict’s heart broke again. “Sophie... I don’t pay rent? Or a mortgage. And I know that makes you uncomfortable but I’m not going to take money from you when I don’t need it.” Sophie shifted a little uncomfortably and was silent for several seconds. Benedict felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, and then finally

“Okay.” she said, her voice still small though a smile was forming on her face. “Okay?” He said, excitement creeping into his voice, into his whole body “Okay. Let’s live together.” And Benedict picked her up and spun her around the living room, laughing brightly.  “I love you too.” She whispered in his ear later that night, in the bed that was now theirs and Benedict thought he’d do everything he could, for the rest of his life to keep her right there beside him.

This got so long I’m so sorry! 

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Hello 👋🏼, sorry if I’m bothering u but ever since the recent chapters of BNHA I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Todoroki family. Not many of my friends are into this anime and I just couldn’t stop myself from sharing this with you because I need to let this out.

[SPOILER ALERT 🚨!!! IF U DONT READ THE MANGA THEN U CAN JUST IGNORE THIS]

First of all:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

(I’m still screaming as I write because the backstories RUINED me.)

Poor Touya having this horrible obsession over heroics and having his father acknowledge him but ever since his quirk started reacting against his body the whole family got negatively affected by it.

Rei and Enji wanted to stop at two kids but with Touya’s sudden disadvantage and the latter’s craving for power, Natsuo and later on Shouto was born (the youngest getting titled as the perfect heir from the moment he was born). I got torn seeing Touya’s eyes succumb to absolute madness at the birth of his younger brothers.

What scared me the most was how when it was just Touya and Fuyumi, the two hardly interacted despite being only a year apart in age. Touya claimed that ‘girls just don’t get it’ this small foreshadowing was later brought to light in the most recent chapter where he once again rejects Fuyumi’s company in favour of ranting to only Natsuo and where he disregards his own mother— another ‘girl’ that doesn’t understand his obsession passion for surpassing All Might and someone who plays along to the acts of those stronger than them. Touya saw his mother as a weak person who had no choice but to marry for the sake of her family and have custom children. Little Touya firmly believed his very existence depended on getting acknowledged my his father and defeating All Might but it sadly didn’t come true😭😭

Also..... LOOK AT THE BABIES!!!! They’re all so CUTE!!!

Chubby Fuyumi!!!

Natsuo with a running nose

And Baby Shouto with a meme like face since the day he was born🤣🤣🤣🤣

So ADORABLE!

And another thing. FUYUMI WAS EVEN YOUNGER THAN I THOUGHT TO HAVE STARTED ACTING LIKE A SECOND MOTHER TO HER BROTHERS!! Look at the way she defended Natsuo when Touya went on a rampage and tried to attack Touya! And during moments when Enji and Rei fought the two most notable heroes were Shouto and Fuyumi; the former fighting on the frontlines to face his father while the latter stood behind to once again care for her remaining family that though weren’t involved in the fight, they still needed emotional support to get through it.😭

I AM SO SORRY TO BE GETTING TO THIS SO LATE ANON BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

TW: Spoilers, Brief Mention of Child Abuse (Physical, Emotional and Mental), General Fandom Wank

So, like, SO MUCH HAPPENED in those chapters and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALMOST ALL OF IT! There’s obviously all the things you mentioned above that were just amazing to see and learn! I know that a majority of the fandom has been absolutely livid about the reveals involving Touya being drastically different than what fandom thought they were all this time, but I think it honestly highlights how smart Horikoshi’s writing really is.

In Shoto, we see the effects of physical and mental abuse on a child, and how easily he could have ended up going down a troubling road much like Touya. Shoto’s saving grace is facing off against Deku in the Sports Festival, giving him an outside perspective and makes him realize that he can choose to be better, but that doesn’t just magically fix all of Shoto’s problems. Shoto still struggles with his feelings towards his Father and how he is perceived by simply being Endeavor’s son. We see that in the Provisional License Arc, where Shoto is so thoroughly rattled by Inasa. It’s even further pushed through how Shoto struggles with his feelings about Endeavor trying to better and whether or not he should forgive him. I feel like Shoto’s arc is incredibly strong and that his struggles are very realistic, which is why people love him so much. This whole concept is another thing I could rant about but I’m going to leave it here.

Meanwhile, with Touya, we see the effects of mental and emotional abuse on a child and how it can completely destroy them. I think people that act like Horokoshi “down played” and “ret-conned” Endeavor as a character to make him more sympathetic/ redeemable or that he’s simply writing Touya as “always being a bad seed” are missing the mark. This is, admittedly, something you see a lot when it comes to victims of abuse in the real world as well; the idea that if you weren’t physically or sexually abused on top of emotional or mental abuse, your abuse is somehow less “valid.” Now I’ve seen more voices speaking out against this mentality - which is relieving and positive - but it’s still a problem. The way Touya was abused is no less valid or scarring to himself as a person as what Shoto has been through was. Touya and Enji clearly had a deep bond as father and son. Hell, the fact that Enji is sobbing and saying he “can’t fight his own son” in regards to Touya, but clearly had less issue training Shoto until he got ill or passed out says a lot.

Touya was put on an incredibly high pedestal by Enji’s constant praise and attention. He was the apple of his father’s eye until the limitations of his Quirk were discovered. Enji had filled his head with promises and goals for what his future would be, essentially selling him what turned out to be a lie. We see Rei herself tell Enji that Touya “knows you expect something out of the kids.” Touya’s whole life up until that point was being told of all the great he would someday accomplish, and equating that to being deserving of his Father’s love, attention and affection.

And then he couldn’t live up to that expectation. And then his parents had two more kids following that revelation. The idea that Touya doesn’t realize that Natsuo and Shoto were meant to be his replacements - unbroken models that “deserved” Enji’s love - is clearly not missed by him. It’s evident in the way he looks at Natsuo after he’s born. He sees this as a sign that he is no longer deserving - no longer worthy - of love or support from the parent he absolutely adores.

We see this mostly from Enji and Rei’s perspectives, so we know the reasons they did it, but it’s clear they didn’t stop to think about the way this would be interpreted by Touya himself. This whole matter is only worsened by the fact that Enji refuses to make sacrifices for the sake of his oldest son. He pushes Touya to live a life outside of Pro Heroics while Enji himself refuses to do the same, thus setting a positive example and showing solidarity with his son. He instead pushes him away and distances himself, loses himself in focusing on Natuso and, once his Quirk turns out to not be what he wants, Shoto. Touya continues to push himself despite his limits in a desperate bid for Enji to look at him the way he used to; with pride and love. 

What caused the fire that “killed” Touya? His anguish over being neglected and abandoned - left unloved - by his father yet again. It’s clear that Touya’s mental health is in need of some real focus that he has never gotten - due to both his parents negligence as well as the fact that mental health is highly stigmatized in Japanese society - and pairing that with the emotional and mental abuse he suffered at Enji’s hands broke him.

So many people are claiming Horikoshi is trying to make Enji “more redeemable”, but how do you get that? Enji abused Rei, his own wife, physically and emotionally and mentally until she had a psychotic breakdown, hurt their youngest child, and then robbed her the right to mother her children further by having her locked up in a psych ward for the next decade or so; built their oldest son, Touya, up only to then emotionally and mentally abuse him to the point he damn near killed himself in a frantic bid to garner Enji’s support only to return years later completely unhinged and looking to murder his entire family out of spite; neglected Fuyumi and Natsuo to the care of each other and hired help; alienated Shoto, his youngest son, from his siblings for his entire formative years, physically and mentally and emotionally abused him, groomed him to accomplish a task he never wanted, put him through such extensive physical training that Shoto would get sick or pass out.

Enji was a shitty father. He has a long ass road to continue walking if he ever wants redemption. The fact he didn't physically hit Touya doesn’t mean that Enji didn’t abuse his son and it doesn’t make Touya any less of a victim.

* End TodoFam Rant*

On a slightly lighter note, I also like all the information with Hawks’ past and all the parallels we’re seeing develop!

I’ve rambled briefly about this in other places the Huwumi discord but I want to expound upon this a bit more here.

I feel like Touya/ Dabi and Keigo/ Hawks are meant to be parallels to one another.

Back to back, we had proper name claims by these two characters. We had Dabi reveal his true identity as Todoroki Touya and then we have Hawks choosing to abandon his hero name to instead step up to fight as Takami Keigo.

I feel like “Dabi” was always a mask, of sorts. Dabi is typically pretty calm, cool, composed with the occasional bites of snark and cruelty. Meanwhile, we see Touya emoting and moving in a manner more akin to himself as a child, dancing about in manic delight over revealing his true identity and intentions. The pair of them are two drastically different people when you stop and look at it. “Dabi” was the mask he wore to gain ground to enact his revenge, and now that he is there? Now Touya can burn everything tethered to it down to ground.

Meanwhile, we have "Hawks” as he was forced to become as per the Hero Public Safety Commission. We had it revealed quite a while back that Hawks was a man of many faces, jumping from laid-back and chill to serious and focused quite frequently. “Hawks” is the presentation for the public and the Commission, groomed to be the perfect little canary in the mine that was Pro Heroics. The reveal of his true heritage, however, is not the killing blow Touya wanted it to be. Instead, it allows Keigo, the one who wanted to be a Hero to help people, the chance to truly dedicate himself to that. In being freed from the cage of “Hawks”, he is given the change to really soar as Keigo.

Now, I feel that “Dabi” and “Hawks” are most certainly parts of Touya and Keigo as well, respectively. Even though those titles were masks, they were masks made from parts of the men who wear them. I think what we’ll see going forward is the true elements of those masks bleeding back into the whole, and seeing the truest forms of each character.

For better or for worse. 

[gloriousmonsters]

I am going to be silly and ask for your top 5 Su She Ships. (I assume number 1 will be SuYao)

....you assume correctly

1. su she/jin guangyao

I was in no way prepared for the amount that this pairing Came For Me. I mean, I really should have been, considering on how many different elements and tropey things i love are embodied in both characters & their relationship in just the tiny bit we get to see--and then there’s so much offscreen to think about--but yeah, this pairing just Gets Me in the best way.

without like. writing a whole ship manifesto, I love it both as a ship and because it functions as Wanting Nice Things for both characters? like I want sms to have someone who recognizes his strengths and appreciates him, and I want jgy to have someone who’s wholeheartedly on his side and cares for him with the same devoted intensity that he tends to care for other people. suyao fulfills both those things!

2. lan xichen/jin guangyao/su she

to poorly quote a post i half remember and can’t recall where i saw it (source originally @madtomedgar) it’s time for lan xichen to get pulled into an ill-advised throuple with someone he hates as karma for the 3zun thing

in all seriousness, i love the potential of this trio. xiyao and suyao are both Good Ships already and the sms-lxc dynamic is potentially fascinating--not quite enough to get them a solo spot on the list, but still great. there’s the fact that in cql especially, sms is one of the only people lxc just... does not like, which i find delightful because half of my desires re: fic are ‘make lxc confront having negative emotions’; especially since it has that element ‘if I don’t like him, but jgy does, what does that mean’ etc. sms, on the other hand, has a whole tangled mess of emotions in regard to lxc. there’s the ‘head of the sect that i got kicked out of/left’ thing, the ‘official boyfriend of the person I care for more than anything’ thing, ‘foremost example of perfect cultivator manhood that i’m continually being reminded i fail at’ thing (the ‘guy i was desperately in love with as a teenager and eventually realized he barely knew i existed’ thing...)

literally i’ve tried to write this a dozen times and each time it gets too long lol i just have a lot of excited feelings about this ship

3. xue yang/su she

this is more of a vitriolic broship, but I have to count it just due to how much it delights me. interactions between these two keep sneaking into unrelated fics I write because they’re just so fun to play off each other; xy fucking with sms until sms finally gets enough nerve to fuck with him right back (which gives xy a solid minute of going ‘i have experienced a. workplace harassment??? i just feel so attacked right now??’ before he settles down) and the two of them absolutely embodying the dynamic where two characters are definitely smarter on their own but somehow reduce to having 1 brain cell when you put them together

(spinoff movie that’s just xy and sms in a ‘what the fuck did we do last night’ style comedy when)

4&5: I have no more like. Actual Ships with him, tbh. I know people ship him & lan wangji but like. even if I think sms had a crush on him at one point (like. i’m pretty sure you were assigned a crush on him by default if you were a teen in the gusu lan at the same time as him) unlike lxc which has a lot more nuance to it, lwj and sms just. seem to straight up hate each other, and not in a particularly sexy way. probably the closest I’ve come to the ship is thinking idly about how murdering jin zixun could conceivably be played as proxymurder of lwj, especially with the donghua’s slightly more delightfully unhinged sms; so honorable mention I suppose, and maybe I’ll come around to it more in the future?

aaand that’s all I’ve got at the moment

[doomstypewriter]

sorry things have been crazy but im back and maybe i should start using a signature or sth but:

firstly: could you elaborate on the carnival idea? because it sounds cool but im not fully sure what to imagine (bear with me ive only seen the phantom of the opera once several years ago) unless you think that would give away too much

leaving dead animals and destroying the chandelier and effectively half of the palazzo would certainly be very much in typical remus fashion sksksk

secondly again you dont have to use anything (let alone multiple things) i say but: i cant stop thinking about patton and romina awkwardly being each others beards and virginia and janus standing off to the side laughing at them

i also love the idea of them creating their own slang like ""talking"" and ""token of friendship"". if they made references to that i would laugh very hard

pirate intrulogical! pirate intrulogical! pirate intrulogical!

logan being a mad scientist of his era! suggesting outlandish things such as the earth revolving around the sun!

logan being perfectly respectable and janus thinking 'finally. someone normal' only for logan to turn around and be completely unhinged when he goes into science mode

remus essentially dreamily going 'i like your funny words magic man'

perhaps an an awkward "in a different universe were married" type of moment between rem and pat

patton deserves to be a little shit. as a treat.

maybe he could bond over it with his ex fiance

janus offering to nudge ppl down a flight of stairs and everyone screaming 'no' except for remus

janus making off with some costly vases or something and not even being discreet because 'what are you going to do about it romina? tell them im not really your fencing instructor and get both of us in trouble? thats what i fucking thought.'

patton returning the vases

me: i like prinxiety but i dont Love it

fem!prinxiety: exists

me: 👀

so like if they could have a tender moment or have a crumb of hurt/comfort, my gay little heart would probably implode

tbh i just generally need more of virginia sksks

and also if all of them were friends in the end id give you my first born

thirdly: how about "🏳️‍🌈🕰️" for my signature to symbolise my emotional investment in this gay history au or sth? idk sksk

Hi again!!! 

I am going to start addressing the signature, and yes! I love the pride flag and the clock. If you’re okay with it, I shall address you as R.C. (Rainbow Clock), given that finding the emojis on my laptop would be slightly impractical. 

The carnival, yes, I was thinking about having them go to Venice during the carnival to socialise, announce Patton and Romina’s engagement... When I say Phantom of the Opera I am specifically referring to two things: the mascarade scene and the part near the end when the giant chandelier of the theatre falls. 

In essence, the carnival would be an excuse to play with obscured identities and use them as a resource for characters to be able to sneak on each other. I would, of course, first have to check the timeline and origins for Venice’s carnival. I am also thinking about including Poveglia island as a location seeing that it was inhabited around the time the story is set and that could be useful.

I have ideas for what the dead animals could be for, like sending a message, but I’m thinking maybe I’ll subvert that and make something cooler and plot-twisty, we’ll see. 

 I intend to mercilessly milk their attempt at heterosexuality for laughs, so I’ll certainly have Virginia and Janus mentally laughing their asses off at them trying to look like a couple. Perhaps this can also be used as a way for Virginia and Janus to bond. 

I can make references to them talking about “talking” and sharing “tokens of friendship” and I will, you have my word. 

I’ll have Logan just go ahead and calculate the curvature of the earth, heck, I’ll even have him make the renaissance equivalent of the Antikythera mechanism because he’s worth it and because he can. The Kraken? Logan will be the first to suggest it may be a dork (slightly nsfw link so proceed with caution), yes, the whale kind, while the entire pirate crew is panicking thinking they’re about to be devoured by a giant monster just to go “huh” at his theory, and, yes, Remus will be absolutely delighted. 

To be honest, I love that Janus is relieved by Logan only to find him unhinged, but I’ll do you one better and have Janus not understand at all how Logan does some stuff. It must have an explanation (and it does, it’s science) but he can’t find it. The rest are inclined to believe it’s magic. 

Yes, it is going to be clear why Remus fell in love with Logan when he goes into science mode. And also!!! I am planning to write how they met, just say it involves saving someone from drowning and immediate fighting after that. 

The “we would be married” moment will happen and I’ll make it extra-awkward for you, with some comedy sprinkled on top. 

HMMMM. Patton and Remus teaming up for plot reasons seems very tempting. My mind is already coming up with stuff. Tension-building stuff. 

But, what if the solution ended up being nudging someone downstairs? I think Janus should get that, as a treat. (I’ll have them go “no” though, it can all fit). 

I’ll make the vase controversy happen. 

Well, would you care for some hurt/comfort prinxiety where one tends to the wounds of the other? 

Virginia is going to be the best character. Like, I can’t help it, whenever I write this AU she’s just the best thing going on, it’s what she does! 

Then I think you’ll owe me more than your firstborn because I have plans. I’ll settle for more of your lovely asks, though. 

If you have doubts about anything or any more ideas, ask right away. 

As always, thanks for the ask!!!!

Previous ask

Fic that's a prequel to this

[writinglionqueen]

My King | Port Wine

The night was coming to a close, the sky was changing colors in the window you looked to. The sun was laying to rest beyond the hills and the sky was growing in color. You looked to your husband as he was finishing up his roast from his plate.

You couldn’t help the smile on your features at how easy it’s been getting comfortable around the king. Drew made it easy. From the moment he took your hand in marriage, he had been nothing but soft and gentle with you. The man had allowed you breaks from his people when you felt they were due and had given you gifts that never faltered in bringing a smile to your face. 

His sweet gestures and kindness never felt like they would cease or end anytime soon. It felt as though he had a lot to give, and you were happy to receive his gentleness as well as give some of your own. 

Sometimes, it’s gentle touches and him holding you close and you reciprocating his tight hold. Sometimes, it’s just cuddling or drinking as the two of you share stories that leave the two of you smiling in content, happy to be together. And sometimes, it’s slow sex that leaves the two of you breathless and you curled into his side.

Nothing he’s ever done to you had been ill-willed or even remotely close. You have seen him angry before but his anger usually leaves him when you grip his hand, hold his face or, even press you body against his larger frame. Having you close to him calms him faster than anything. You knew it was because he could never think about hurting you, never think about yelling at you, and never think about making you afraid of him. He knew how to ensure you were never afraid of him. And you were grateful. 

Your last servants had said awful things about the way men are....but Drew had never come close to the horrid stories of beast like men who cared nothing for their wives. Instead, Drew had shown that your last servants only had an ear for gossip and mischief. And your servants here, they never had anything bad to say about their king. They did know of his strength, courage, and bravery as well as his brutish nature to things that displeased him, but they also knew of him when he had been wedded to his previous wife. They knew he was caring and nurturing of things that were his. Which now meant you. 

The thoughts of Drew being so kind to you had made you smile and look up at your king. The Scotsman gave you a smile taking a sip of his wine before he settled his fork down on his plate in finality. He captivated your attention when he went to stand up, walking around the length of the grand table to stand next to where you were seated. You peered up at him. Curiosity rested in your mind but...knowing Drew, whatever he was doing or planned to do, you’d like. 

Drew’s large hand reached for you, resting at the top of your spine. He toyed at the skin above the neckline of your dress. His hand skimmed your shoulders and you had to suppress a pleasant shiver. 

“My queen,” Drew murmured, settling his glass of wine down besides yours so he could lean in and kiss your lips in a slow, sweet kiss. 

“My king,” you murmured after, a pleasant hum lifted your voice to hear his deep timbre speak to you softly. 

“I have a present waiting for you in our room,” he said. Your quirked your brow at that, intrigued as to what it could be.

“A present?” you asked. Drew only smiled as he stood to his full height once more. He held out his large hand for you to take. 

“Come,”  he murmured. Your teeth toyed your lip as you laid your hand in his, allowing your king to lift you from your chair and lead you towards your shared quarters. You followed with a smile. The trek wasn’t far from the grand hall. Your excitement made the distance seem shorter. 

The grand door was before you in a moment and your king used a large hand to push it open. He allowed you to enter first. 

The sight within had you smiling. The fire was lit and crackling in it’s hearth. Its light made the room glow in an orange light as well as the candles that were scattered about the room. A bottle of your king’s reserved port wine and two glasses were settled beside a grand tub, all ready and waiting for the two of you as its steam wafted above the water. 

You couldn’t help but to gasp at the pleasant sight before you. Drew chuckled as his large arms wrapped around your middle. 

“Care to join me, little one?” Drew whispered into your ear. You shivered in absolute delight to hear him speak to you like that. Your lips had been absentmindedly playing with your bottom lip until you spun in your husband’s arms to peer up at him. 

“I’d love to,” you murmured to him before you reached on your tiptoes to give your king a kiss. He hummed as your lips connected pulling away to smile at you. 

“I’m glad beloved,” he whispered. His large hands toyed at the laces of your dress, right against your spine. “Now, let’s get into the tub before it gets cold.” You couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out of you at your husband’s teasing nature. It verged lewdness but didn’t overshadow the caring and soft version of him. It never overshadowed that part of him. 

He helped you out of your dress and fastening, cursing in Gaelic at the amount of ties it takes to keep a women in a dress. You giggled nonetheless as he was able to get your bare for him. You eased him out of his clothes in turn.

There was no need to fret over being seen naked or seeing him naked anymore. It didn’t make you hot in embarrassment anymore. Instead, it made you heated with lust to see his furred chest and the strong muscles of his thighs. 

The man was quick to lift you from the ground; one arm under your knees and the other was under your back. You yelped but laughed as you wrapped your arms around his neck and he carried you to the tub. 

You looked down at the water, smiling. 

“The water looks hot,” you commented. Your king lifted a leg to place into the tub. Though he tried to put on an unfazed front, he did grimace slightly.

“Yeah, the servants just filled it,” he muttered as he settled another foot in the tub before sitting. The water was indeed very warm. You frowned a bit as it touched your skin. “Is it too hot?” your husband was quick to ask, freezing before he lowered you in any more. You shook your head. 

“Not unbearably,” you said. Even with that, your king eased you slowly. He relaxed back against the side with a sigh. One of his hands reached for the wine, already open so all he had to do was pour the two of you a glass. He handed you yours and you took it gratefully. 

You rested back against your husband. A comfortable silence fell over the two of you. A smile graced your features as you sipped your wine and watched the fire dance across the logs. You reveled in the feeling of Drew drawing patterns across your skin with his fingertips. 

“This is nice,” you said to him. Drew hummed. 

“Indeed,” he said, his large hand rested against the jut of your hip, his fingers toying at the skin between the apex of your thigh and hip. You eyed his hand, smirking to yourself as you craved the hand to dare venture lower. Your king didn’t move though. So you needed to do something. 

You reached for his hand with your unoccupied one. You slotted your smaller fingers between his before curling them around your husband’s hand. He was none the wiser as you, slowly, started to ease the hand down to where you wanted it. 

It made your heart pick up speed, your breath stutter, to feel his fingers slip closer to the apex of your thighs. To lead him there by your own doing...it made your head spin. 

You could call it daring. It could be liable on your newfound confidence. An attribute of your time here with Drew But you’d place your blame on the port wine...because this courage wasn’t new. It was just suppressed until now. 

Tag: @adriennegabriella @amariemoore @andie01 @annoyingasian @artemisapalla316 @aspiringhorrorfilmmaker @balorstrowmanblackmurphy @biforbecky2belts @blackmoonrising @br0th3r-n3r0 @burning-coco @calicina @calwitch @claymoreme @darlingambrose @dcnmarvelgamergeek @demonqueen29 @desstehhnee @detectiveramen @drewmcintyreinarefereeoutfit @finnsauroraborealis @fireyegale @fivefootxo @flawlessglamazon @haharollins @hardcoresweet45 @harringtonsbaseballbat @homeorbust @i-have-saracasm @itsicantbelievethis666 @kalliravenne @king-drew-mcintyre @lilred91 @littledeadrottinghood @littlesuperstar @lolorockstar101boom @madamaholmes @meishaabae @mermaidqueen @moxleysbaby @moxley-unhinged @moxtiel @neversatisfiedgirl @new-zealand-chic @nicolewool @nothinginlifebutgreif @number1120 @queenofthearchitect @reigns420 @rollynch-roman-empire @sassymox @sassyspacedust @savemeroman @scuzmunkie @shieldgirl18 @softmoxymuffin @southsidebucky @superrezzy00 @taryn-dibiase @the-beastslayers-queen @thehoundsofjustice @thewrestlingwarehouse @theworldofotps @trashofambrolleigns @trent7thirsting @twistedbeautifully @unprettypeony @voidstrugh @writing-reigns @writtingrose @xbreezymeadowsx @xladyxfatex @xprincessofthefallenangels @yaint-me @youcantreignonmyparade 

[pickyperkypenguin]

Recently I remembered that Mabel podcast exists. As I had an upcoming journey, it seemed like a perfect occasion to renew my interest in it, and to get to know how the story of Anna Limon and Mabel unfolds.

(Disclaimer: I am writing all this after listening to twenty five episodes. I don’t exclude the possibility that I’d change my mind, had I listened to more, but for now this is what I think. Also, I had no idea I’ve had so much to say about Mabel podcast, so the length of this text is a surprise both for you and for me. tl;dr: I love the idea of this story, execution could be better.)

What I realised after listening to a couple of episodes after a long break (and the natural break in the narrative, at which point I initially finished), was that it’s, like, Really Bad. But, you know, sort of in a good way.

The general premise is something that a person ( I, the person. When I say we or a person I mean I, but it’s too late to care about my phrasing now) wishes badly to exist. Who doesn’t want a queered fairy tale, dramatic and tragic lesbian romance, the kind that somehow feels like in every single scene the heroes (heroines, in this case) are standing over the edge of a cliff, their ripped white shirts barely covering their chests, their bodies shivering from the wind, and somebody is about to kill or kiss the other person. You know, the romantic as in the historical period kind. Everything over the top, but better, because it’s not subtextually, but screamingly textually queer.

And it works at certain points, really – the queerness of the heroines queers the structure of the story, it plays on the archetypes and sort of fulfils the desire to appropriate them for the queer self for once. It’s a pleasant feeling.

The descriptions are flowy and opulent, the romance goes how certain type of straight romances would go – assuming that the listener will assume the same stuff about a queer couple, as about heterosexual one. And it provides the portrait of an unhinged, feral, burning and at times tender  love I see so rarely in queer narratives, because it often would be considered “problematic” (again, it would not, was it a straight romance, but we do tend to have higher expectations for queer romances) or simply botched (it often is in straight romances). It’s the love that’s not really supposed to be nice, and that’s based on imagining and idealisation of the other person more than the reality of the connection (and it goes both ways, as we see after finally getting Mabel’s POV). It is indeed for the most of time disconnected, here by literally a wall between the worlds, but not as the finishing scene, but by the duration. The sun and moon type of romance (and the podcast seems self-aware of all that, I think the creators are delighting in the fact that they can construct it like this).

And I think that till a certain point it all sort of works out more or less, minus the details I’ll be complaining about. When it comes to the luscious descriptions creating the atmosphere of a fairy tale in vivid detail, they are really over the top, bordering on purple prose (or sometimes just plunging right into it). The repetitions and flowery adjectives have their own charm and work in small amounts. I thought – maybe it was not made for binge listening? But no, on the other hand the structure of plot is slow to unfold and convoluted enough, that were I listening to it week-by-week, I’d get nothing from it, really, and would probably be discouraged by the fact that it’s not as much that I don’t understand anything, but I can’t see the larger plot that’s supposed to be unfolding. It’s a mystery-based podcast at first, and I would probably forget what would be considered as base-level unusual in-world, and it would not make an effective impression on me with the increase of oddity.

Another explanation of the purple language – maybe it’s Anna Limon’s character? Maybe she is that kind of girl – after all, for what we know she might as well be going crazy in an old lady’s house, fixating on mysteries and family history that’s not hers for the lack of anything to do? The voicemail “letters” (for a lack of better word, but it has that feel of XIXth century love letters, you know) charm at first. Well, at least me. (Same went with Alice Isn’t Dead, with the main character constantly addressing her wife that she misses – that was I think the first time I encountered a wlw affection showed like this, and I liked the idea very much).

Unfortunately, the formula starts breaking when the first arc of the story ends, and we get to know Mabel’s point of view and Mabel’s character. Here the similarities of that language start grating: Mabel is a not-really-a-girl-what-does-human-mean-at-this-point who has been isolated for a long time in the Kingdom Under the Hill, where concepts work in a slightly different way than in the real world, and she could be this over the top just from the isolation and existing for a long time among this non-euclidean post-death plant-gymnastics.

Both Anna and Mabel could have their own reasons to be speaking like this (speaking! That also changes the feeling of it, it read distinctively different in text form). But when those reasons are so different from one another, and yet the language stays about the same, it’s just obvious that it’s the writing of the show, and unfortunately, as I said, in larger quantities, in it not being a distinctive characteristic but how the script is written, and also because it’s all spoken, it starts charming and ends up jarring. It’s becomes too over the top, if I can say it like that, and it doesn’t work as it should, also because – and here we come with another thing – it takes itself so. damn. seriously.

The Mabel podcast does not joke, but it contains a lot of unhinged, wild and hysterical laughing, giggling and sobbing. Maybe it’s the fault of the voice acting (and sorry if it’s rude, but I’m afraid I think the voice acting is really not good overall), but at a point it just started getting on my nerves. The show never stops to give itself a breather, but rides the high C all the time, and there is no rest. That cheapens, I’m afraid, the moments that are supposed to be impactful and end up less so, because they have no chance of shining brighter than the others, as everything tries to shine at once.

I also think that the voice acting itself is annoying me more than it should. I don’t really find the cadence of the voices pleasant – especially Mabel, who is unfinishing her sentences a lot but in a way that sounds artificial. It’s like amateur actors who know they are supposed to not finish a sentence, because it has been written in the script that another character will interrupt them. So, they go off from their way to facilitate that, and there is the minuscule but noticeable pause that just sounds stupid for the spectator. It’s even worse when there is no other character to interrupt, just one person abandoning a sentence – but they have long ago known they will abandon it in the first place, oh my god, it doesn’t make sense. Sorry, I think I really didn’t like Mabel’s way of talking.

I mean, at first it was sort of incredible – I remember the impact it made on me when I finally heard Mabel’s voice! And she was so angry! She was angry at Anna for switching places without asking her if she even wants that, and she didn’t fit in the real world acutely, and she has had a lot of pretensions and grievances. She was yelling a lot and hitting things. It was awesome. And then, sadly, it all lost the impact, because I then started noticing everything that I listed above and all this became just a baseline communication for her, and nothing had the time to reverberate. Her appearance was the best and the worst that could happen, because it could be executed so well, but instead has basically destroyed the formula of the show that seduced me in the first place.

And the formula was this – one sided relation from events we don’t know if they are actually happening, or if it’s a portrait of a person losing herself and going insane. The distortions instead of voices when the worlds were colliding and the other world and its inhabitants were communicating was absolutely selling that ambiguity. It was providing a certain foundation to Anna’s self-doubt if she isn’t going insane, and at the same time giving us the structure of the narrative that we’re familiar with, because we’ve been (I was, in Central Eastern Europe) raised on it. It was (and is, I stand by it) an amazing choice for showing an encounter with the Other, with strangeness that the modern world (and its recording devices) is not equipped to handle, and the heroes are barely able to as well. I do believe the only way to scare us at all in the XXI century and the time of incredibly realistic special effects is to leave us guessing, because only then we’ll be able to scare ourselves. The theatricality will work out where the gore fails, and here it worked spectacularly. I still don’t know who exactly was speaking in which moments, if the house was speaking at all, if it was maybe Luna Thorn or the King. Who the fuck knows, and what a delight it is.

But the story started to fall apart, as I said, when we finally had both girls actually talking to each other, and then them speaking of the other as if she was not theoretically right next to her. In the exact manner as when they were apart, divided by the veil between the real world and the fairy kingdom. The distance disappeared, we got both points of view, and that should be the moment of losing the gravity, and I think it would kind of saved the show. Unfortunately, I say as a mantra here, even though the attempts were made – bravo for Anna, expressing her desire for Mabel to just fucking talk to her like a normal person and to co-exist, be in the same spacetime. To which we got a counterargument that oh, of bloody course Anna wants normalcy because that’s her fetish, and Mabel is not normal because she’s barely human and did even Anna love her all this time, can she love her after confronting that otherness of Mabel? Aaand there it went. I mean, it does make narrative sense a lot, but it also prevents from riding out the narrative high C, and so we are still listening to an equivalent of ten hour version of the last phrase from the Phantom of the Opera theme song.

The romance starts showing its imperfections, and normally it would be good, because it would lead us to the protagonists deepening the connection, going from the abstract, ideative one, to one forged in the fire of just being in near proximity, and in situations where they are supposed to work out compromises to rely on each other, instead of making decisions for the other and expecting gratitude. At the point which I listened to last, they confronted that issue, but didn’t seem like it was going anywhere (yet?). Which leads me to a point, that I will probably listen to at least a couple more episodes, both because I sort of want to give it a chance and to know how it will unfold, and also because I have another upcoming journey and what you expect me to be doing on a train?

Yeah, that’s about that. Gods, what the hell, I had no idea I would write this much. There might be several grammatical mistakes in this meta, because I am not a native speaker and there is no way I am going to go over 2k of words that nobody may even read, and I should seriously be going back to what I should be doing instead of this. Though I admit, right now I will try to go to the gym, because I am highly caffeinated (have you noticed???) and I, like, cannot really do caffeine. At all. Why did I do that? Oh yeah, I had to because I was working on some stuff before. Oh gods, how will I even fall asleep today.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Homicide: Life on the Street season three full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

65% (thirteen of twenty).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

32.96%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Three (episode three ‘Extreme Unction’ (40%), episode sixteen ‘Law and Disorder’ (52%), and episode eighteen ‘In Search of Crimes Past’ (43.47%)).

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Two (episode eleven ‘Cradle to Grave’ (18.75%), and episode seventeen ‘The Old and the Dead’ (19.04%)).

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Fifty-nine. Seventeen who appeared in more than one episode, three who appeared in at least half the episodes, and ZERO who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Ninety-four. Twenty-four who appeared in more than one episode, seven who appeared in at least half the episodes, and five who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Strong. The show maintains a powerful awareness of the society it is situated within and the varied experiences of those within it; the analysis of racial issues - systemic and individual - is particularly impressive, and though it is not the subject this blog was created to explore, it seems wrong to talk about this show at all without acknowledging the good work it is doing on that front (average rating of 3.1). 

General Season Quality:

While not quite as strangely, darkly real as the beginning of the series, it’s still good, compelling, and meaningful television, and it does make the most of itself in terms of telling new stories which enrich and expand the world of the show; it does not rest on its laurels and repeat the same narrative patterns as earlier episodes, and it is the better for it. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

For the record, I regret the decision not to write individual episode posts for this show. Not quite enough to go back and write them after all, but enough to complain about how I’m not doing it. This is a note to my future self, in case I try to convince myself that summary-only is a good idea after all: it isn’t. It’s just a way to guarantee that you’ll end up leaving things out and being less thorough than you want to be. It’s a dumb idea. Don’t do it.

To business: the season literally opens with Bolander watching a love scene on the tv in the break room and complaining about all the gratuitous sex on tv shows these days, prompting a conversation with Lewis and Munch about how ‘the networks make them put that stuff in’. It’s essentially a written-in apology to the audience for the fact that there are romantic subplots in this season; they might as well have broken down the fourth wall completely and had the characters look straight into the camera, that’s how transparent they are about it. The network demanded sex appeal as a condition of renewing the show for a third season, and the writers were NOT happy about it; I appreciate both their convictions, and the fact that they made this slim compromise which gave us more of this wonderful show to enjoy, even if there is a bare minimum of unnecessary sex in there. It’s a worthy trade. (the sex-on-tv discussion segues into a prediction from Munch about how the future will include a trillion different channels to watch, everyone communicating online, and never having to get out of your chair for anything. Bolander then says that he wishes they’d bring back Hawaii 5-0, which of course has since happened. It’s eerie).

Anyway; the sex mostly involves Felton, whose slightly-unhinged (and, in mercifully one scene only, gratuitously undressed) wife Beth has kicked him out of the house at the beginning of the season, to which Felton has responded by promptly jumping in bed with a new woman: that is, with the new woman, Megan Russert, whose presence in the main cast brings us to a grand old two women in the regular rotation. The show gleefully ditches the Felton/Russert romance three episodes in (but not until after we’ve been subjected to Daniel Baldwin in his little nineties underwear:

cheers network, I hope that’s what you were aiming for when you demanded more sex appeal), and the whole business manages to play out with relative grace, being blatant network-service but avoiding the common pitfall of useless hetero romance wherein the female character ends up seeming like she only exists to be sexy. 

Russert’s introduction isn’t entirely smooth - and the romance angle doesn’t help there - but despite being a much more traditionally-feminine and traditionally-attractive character than Howard is, and despite having the confrontation of sexism in the workplace laid on a little thick in those introductory episodes, Russert is still successfully established as a person in her own right, and not defined by her womanhood any more than Howard is. Like Howard, Russert can’t escape the way that the department and the men within it treat her gender as a conspicuous and dominant trait, and like Howard, Russert is not interested in letting the preoccupations of other people impact the way she goes about her work; unlike Howard, Russert refuses to engage with the idea of being a good example for other women because she feels that doing so means participating in making gender an issue when it shouldn’t matter in the first place. Howard - delighted to be working with an accomplished woman who meets her personal standard of conduct, and willing to openly defend Russert’s service record against her sexist detractors - is affronted by Russert’s refusal to fight the good fight on behalf of her gender, but the show wisely does not take a side. Both women’s approaches to their womanhood have merit, and neither is perfect; rather than pitting them against one another over their differences, the show acknowledges that Howard and Russert are, each in their own way, doing the best their  with a situation that has been stacked against them and in which there are no absolute ways to ‘win’, only ways to play. 

This season is much stronger on women than those preceding it, as evident in the statistics: over 12% better in the female:male ratio, and 57% better on the Bechdel (they were doing shockingly well with that one until they went and failed in the last four episodes all in a row, but still. This is far, far better than I had expected). It takes a broader, more detailed look at the way women exist (and are forced to exist) within the structure of society, and there is evidence of clear comprehension of the imbalances, the contradictions, and the illogical expectations and judgments that come with that. The serial killer Annabella Wilgis from the opening trilogy of the season asserts that she murdered eight women because she blames women in the workplace for ‘ruining everything’ by upsetting the strictly-gendered status quo of Wilgis’ childhood; Howard catches a killer back in her home town because the guy was so much of a sexist chump he wouldn’t wash his own shirt to get away with murder (as he is arrested the guy screams at his wife for not ‘doing her job’ and washing his shirt for him, and the lack of self-reflection is as bizarre as it is believable); the fantastic ‘Every Mother’s Son’ sees two women - both unaware that they are at the police station for the same case, one’s son having been murdered by the other’s - commiserating about the state of the men in their neighbourhoods and the lack of good father figures and role models for their boys (both women are black, and as they discuss also the number of funerals they have attended for their early-teen son’s friends, the conversation serves as a double-whammy observation of both gender, and systemic racial inequality. It’s powerful and sobering); Russert intervenes in the private life of her former detective partner when she discovers that he’s been beating his wife, and takes no excuses from either party about ‘the stress of the job’ or any other such tragically familiar lines; Beth Felton’s behaviour, while erratic and hurtful, finds some sympathy from Howard and Russert as they consider the dire lack of options open to Beth as a potentially-single mother of three small children. With the exception of Wilgis the serial killer, there is altogether an underpinning thread of women understanding and supporting each other, a factor which helps to give the women’s narratives a sense of their own gravity through recognition from outside; something particularly important when set against the ignorance and even complicity which can arise even from seemingly forward-thinking men.

Network-mandated sex brings us Emma Zoole, and with her, reflections upon the attitudes of some of our male characters, some of it good, some of it bad. Lewis makes a pushy fool of himself trying to chat her up, but he’s harmless enough and once he plays out his chance and is rejected, he respects Emma’s choice and declares unequivocally that he will not pursue her further (a declaration prompted by Felton suggesting that he just needs a new strategy). That said, there is a possessive streak at work when Lewis learns that Bayliss has hooked up with Emma instead; if Lewis didn’t feel some sense  of ownership for having called first dibs on Emma, he wouldn’t have anything to feel ‘betrayed’ about. For the most part, laughs are had as Bayliss literally falls over himself and clutzes around Emma’s apartment in the least-sexy way possible - it’s funny, it’s realistic, and it’s a solid fuck-you to the network - and the fallout as the entire workplace learns of his exploits (”what is a cuffoon?”) is a great time. But, on the other side of it all, things are less bright. Lewis is smothering his sorrows by eating cous cous, and Felton delivers a diatribe about how the idea of health food and men thinking they need to watch their weight is all about ‘women trying to dominate men’ (a double-standard view if ever there was one; at least Lewis ain’t buying it). Meanwhile, it turns out Emma has a boyfriend named Andy who takes it poorly when he hears about Bayliss; Andy knocks Emma down - Bayliss is aghast when Emma tells him, and his anger does feel like it is at least mostly coming from the right place, but under the circumstances one also wonders if there’s an extent to which he goes out to give Andy what-for as a possessive pissing contest and not in genuine concern. Emma breaks up with Bayliss for interfering with her relationship with Andy, and Bayliss...goes off the deep end and robs a convenience store at gunpoint after he comes up eleven cents short trying to pay for beer and cookies. Pembleton bails Bayliss out so that he winds up not suffering any significant ramifications for his actions, and the comedic tone of the whole piece feels decisively off, as if the writers have hit a major blind spot wherein they think men lashing out dangerously when a relationship falls apart is normal and understandable on its own, and therefore not worthy of harsh scrutiny. I mean, if the guy hurts or kills his former lover, that behaviour is condemned, but if he just threatens to shoot a store clerk for voiding a sale, that’s funny, right?

The idea of that unscrutinised blind spot is reinforced throughout the rest of the series so far; while none of the other central male characters have reacted quite as wildly as Bayliss, they do form a cohesive track record for refusing to do their own emotional labour in working their way through romantic disappointments. Felton is a slightly different case since his relationship woes are also tied up with custody of his children, and as such his spiralling alcoholism is not necessarily a consequence of the end of his marriage itself so much as it is about the messy way that plays out (it is very, very messy, though, and he does lean on the other women in his life throughout rather than taking control of his situation himself). Bolander was a total bear throughout the first season after separating from his wife, and Munch I already flagged in my previous review for his attitude toward his now-ex Felicia throughout the final ups and downs of that relationship. Lewis may just drag himself off to eat some cous cous all alone, but he still wallows over a relationship that never even began; Gee does the same thing after being rejected by Russert’s friend Amanda (though there is an additional factor there in which Gee - this guy:

- feels that Amanda - this lady:

- has rejected him because he’s blacker than she is, sparking what remains the only discussion on colourism within the black community that I have ever seen on tv. It’s an illuminating subject that deserves discussion, though we never find out if it really is the reason for Amanda’s rejection or if she was just not interested in Gee for any number of other, completely legitimate reasons). As Bayliss forgoes all self control, as Felton spins his ridiculous opinions on health food, and as Bolander commiserates with Gee about how ‘the way a woman feels about a man, that’s the way he’s going to feel about himself’, there’s a consistent theme of this notion that women have a responsibility to prop men up and protect their fragile egos, and it’s a theme that the show - for all that it is mostly very self-aware - doesn’t seem to challenge at all. 

While I’m griping, there are more imperfections this season than there were last time around: Munch makes a lot of jokes about women, not necessarily in disparaging ways but definitely in an othering fashion which lends itself to a perception of women as objects of desire rather than, um, people. His nihilistic attitude about pretty much everything combined with his regular gendered commentary can make him pretty hard to enjoy as comic relief, especially when you’re viewing the show with a deliberately critical eye (he also makes a joke about prison rape at one point, and rape jokes of any kind are a surefire way to vault straight into my bad books). Pembleton gets embroiled in a political quagmire involving one Congressman Wade: a closeted homosexual, Wade has filed a false police report to try and cover up his affair with his male assistant, fearing that said assistant might expose him by filing assault charges after Wade beat him up. While everyone involved rightfully agrees that being gay should not end Wade’s political career, they all kinda ignore the fact that committing assault probably should, and I’m not ok with the way that detail gets shrugged off. And the episode ‘The Last of the Watermen’ not only uses the cliche of having a character just-happen to catch a case while on vacation, it also repeats the cliche of having a former flame of Howard’s as a suspect, something we already did in season two (less than ten episodes ago, to make it even more egregious that we’re doing it again); the show is better than that kind of contrivance. 

To wrap this on a good note though, there were also some real gems in the piece: the episode ‘Colors’ delivers a great guest star in David Morse and tells a confronting story about the insidiousness of subconscious racism; it’s very easy for shows to do stories about racism that acknowledge it in a very obvious surface-level way (i.e. this person treats that person badly because of the colour of their skin, and that’s wrong), but it’s more difficult and more important to explore the subtleties of the ways racism can manifest both individually and systemically, and that’s what this show does so well. On the topic of great guest stars, Steve Buscemi is used to magnificent effect in ‘End Game’ as a character who is so very, very wrong in such very, very obvious ways, and yet so superciliously convinced of his correctness that he’s impossible to argue with (we all know at least one person exactly like that). Buscemi’s turn comes at the culmination of the three-episode arc surrounding the shooting of three of our detectives, which is masterfully handled both in the immediate shock and the ensuing tension, as well as in the complicated miasma of emotional fallout for the rest of the squad as they struggle and rally. The fallout from that arc continues to permeate the rest of the season, in much the same way as the suicide of our beloved Steve Crosetti does at the beginning of the season: the episode ‘Crosetti’ is the highlight of the season despite fierce competition, and watching Lewis bawl his eyes out while Bolander holds him still gets me every time, but it’s nothing compared to watching Pembleton provide a one-man Honour Guard for his fallen comrade at episode’s end. The heaviness of the episode has some serious emotional staying power, and while the ditching of Crosetti was another network-mandated dick move designed to up the show’s sex appeal, the writers well and truly made lemonade by crafting the loss into a powerful narrative which emphasises and reinforces the core of the series itself: the horror and the battle to overcome the darkness of a truly thankless job, and find the good glimmer of life that lies beyond it.

[musingsofanangryginger]

31 Days of Horror 2017 Round up

Hello and welcome to the fruits of my labour. Below is a list and mini-reviews of each thing I watched during my 31 days of Horror. Some reviews are a bit beefier than others but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

Day 1: The Invisible Man:

So I decided to start my horror by going old school…very old school, like 50 years before I was born old school. Back the 30’s Universal had a chain of monster movies which by today’s standards might be considered a bit on the tame side but from what’ve seen of that era and this one, this film stands up. So unlike the big-budget remake Hollow Man (come on now it is a remake), there is no transformation scene but instead, we meet our character after the damage has been done and we join him through his journey and his descent into madness which is excellently portrayed by Claude Raines.

Day 2: Shaun of the Dead: 

After telling a few folks at work about watching this as part of my 31 days of Horror they immediately claimed it was horror. I respectfully disagreed, at least I think it was respective. Yes, of course, it falls way more into the comedy genre but it’s very clearly a horror comedy. I can’t imagine that there are folks that have yet to see this film but for the uninitiated, Shaun’s life is going nowhere fast, content to frequent the same pub over and over, stuck in a dead-end job (Pun count 2) his lady kicks him to curb. Turns out you need a good zombie outbreak to give you that motivational boost. Directed by Edgar Wright and penned by Simon Pegg & Wright and what’s delivered a genre comedy which wears its love of that genre on its sleeve. Hilarious, Gory with some emotionally powerful punches throughout. If for some reason you’ve been in a bunker with the Mole Women your excuses are limited as to why you’ve never seen this slice of fried gold.

 Day 3: Gerald’s Game:

 King’s back in a big way thanks to the success of IT and so it seems there appears to be some clambering to get his work adapted, this one such effort being a Netflix offering. Directed by Mike “Oculus” Flanagan we’re treated to minimalist horror which takes place for the most part in a single room with some passionate naughtyness goes tit’s up (Pun machine). This is bolstered by two great performances by Carla Gugino and Bruce Greenwood. Unsettling and just that little bit harrowing this was an enjoyable surprise. I don’t want to elaborate too much on this one as I feel that going in blind is the key. I will say that Mike Flanagan has the uncanny ability to creep me out with violence. What I mean by this, is that I’m so ridiculously desensitised to film gore and violence that media would probably label me and some kind of mental. In 2 of Mike’s films to date, I’ve shuddered and shivered one being this and the other the aforementioned Oculus which is also brilliant. I also completely recommend Hush as well.

Day 4: Red State:

Again another debateable horror. I firmly plant this in the horror genre as it completely uses so many of the tropes. There’s the young high school guys looking to get laid and it going badly. By badly I don’t mean “oops an std and a paternity test” no I mean kidnapped by fanatics and faced with their deaths. Where this is different is that it twists all over the place it hardly gives you time to catch your breath. I loved how Kevin Smith described writing this, he said that each time the plot got familiar he skewed off in a different direction to what would be expected and it shows. Fitting in with the “this is horror” claim by myself there is an extremely unsettling vibe in the first half of the film that is perpetrated by the late great Michael Parks. Good god, his sermon monologue is downright terrifying. Brrrrr. One of Smith’s best films and a genre I think he should revisit….well of course there is Tusk. Ha ha Tusk.

Day 5: Ash Vs The Evil Dead (Episodes 1-3): 

 I had seen the first 2 eps a while back so decided to get some of this watched again. This harkens back to the brilliance of Evil Dead 2 (more on that later). Here the idiotic but pretty capable Ash sets loose the deadites once more to the gratuitously gory delight of fans and newcomers alike.  It’s hard not to love Bruce Campbell, He’s a genuinely charismatic presence. This is a show I desperately need to catch up with and feel there’s no excuse that I haven’t. I’m sorry!

Day 6: The Autopsy of Jane Doe:

It may be creepy to say, it may be weird to say, but I’m in love this film. These days you’d be very hard pressed to come across decent horror films which is sad. It’s a genre that has been limping along since the 70’s. Every once in a while though you get that gem that one in a thousand film that comes along and says “Boo” and you squeal. This is not one of these films. “But Mark” I hear you say “You seem to have bigged this film up” Why you backtracking. Oh contraire readers of mine, this here is the finest examples of the genre in last several years. The point I’m making is that it relies very little on the “Jump scare” formula and instead treats you a murder mystery with Horror along for the ride.

In wake of a horrific crime a body is found with no Id and who has no real ties to the crime that can be ascertained. It’s up to the Coroner and his son uncover why she was there, I will say no more. I felt that going into Gerald’s Game completely blind was the way to go, Jane Doe, I'd recommend a sensory deprivation tank of ignorance before going near this. Don’t even read the back of the dvd/blu ray case or google it. No trailers nothing, just rest in the knowledge that this film is entirely worth it. Creepy and gripping throughout with scares and revelations coming in equal amounts. Trust me when I tell you, you’ll want to know how this wraps up.

Day 7: The Scream Trilogy: 

20 years ago this series of films kicked off (technically 21 but who’s counting…oh wait I appear to be sorry!) 20 years since the immortal “What’s your favourite scary movie” line became engrained in popular culture. The premise was simple a killer who had seen waaaaay too many horror films went a bit of a slaughter. Their knowledge of movie trivia is used against unwilling victims…crap, this person sounds a bit like me. Don’t worry folks I use my trivia for good or at the very most to annoy folks slightly. So with the decline of the horror movie genre or more accurately during its current dip Scream was released in an attempt revitalise the industry and to be fair it did. It spawned 3 sequels (with 4th coming out way later) and a current TV series. Like the killer, this franchise stayed alive longer than it should’ve. While 2 was probably my favourite of the original trilogy, this was due to the fact that I owned it on VHS and watched it constantly and that, of course, Sarah Michelle Gellar was in it (What can I say I had a crush on Buffy), I also really like the first one. 3rd is a bit pants but has its moments, notably Parker Posey playing Gail Weathers is hilarious and Kennedy’s cameo is also great. It’s clear though that quite ironically that by the 3rd this franchise was pretty stale. Doesn’t seem to be able to stop it though!

Day 8: The Void: 

This film is absolutely MENTAL. A clear homage to the body horrors of the 80’s with the clearest being references to Hellraiser I felt, this starts off relatively sane and then skips down Insanity Drive, Crazy Avenue with a brief stop-over in Gross-ville. The films kicks off with a bloody bloke popping out the woods conveniently in front of a Sheriff’s car. The Sheriff takes him along to the local hospital where the weird begins. Cultists stop the folk from leaving and from there; well I won’t say too much more.  I will say right out of the gate that this is most certainly not for everyone, most notably my good lady Evonne. She hated it with the passion of a fiery star. I, on the other hand, enjoyed the unhinged nature, body horror creepy vibe. Give it a bash if you’re looking for some nostalgic originality.

Day 9: Slither: 

Before James Gunn was fanboying the crap out of Guardians of the Galaxy he made a horror comedy called Slither. This stars the always likable and charismatic Nathan Fillion as a small town sheriff having to deal with an alien invasion. Much like The Void, this seems to homage the body horror of old with truly Cronenbergian creatures, but unlike The Void this is flat out hilarious. All characters stretch their comedy legs keeping the laughs coming thick and fast but the stand out character for me is Mayor Jack McCready played by Gregg Henry. His intro as a crass a$$hole (there really is no better way of describing him) is comic gold and each time he’s on screen he kills it. I feel that this is a film that everyone should see once because it’s brilliant. Yes, there is a lack of articulation in that sentence so let me just say, It’s gross, a bit violent but extremely funny.

Day 10: Cannibal The Musical:

I want you to read that title again and know a few things. 1. It is not made up and 2 and one of my favourite things, of which there many, about this film, is that it is based on the True story of Alfred Packer. On their way to seek riches in a Colorado gold mine, a party lead by Packer end up being snacks for the would-be guide. Or so it would appear. I know what you’re thinking, this doesn’t sound funny. What if I was to tell you this was made by the guys responsible for South Park. I first caught this on Channel 4 back in the late 90’s as part of a Troma film season. It played late night and with good reason, within the first few moments, the blood and gore flowed in gratuitous and over the top fashion. Of course, that was nothing compared to when the songs began. Much of this can be considered a blueprint of the tropes that would end up furnishing the long-running and widely popular South Park. Poking fun at almost everything in the genre including but not limited Alfred Packer’s lost love Leighanne, it gleefully bashes all kind of clichés, notably of the musical numbers and horror variety. With musical earworms, you’ll find harder to get out of your head than human flesh out your teeth and many numerous comedic moments this is worth your time… or at the least is certainly worth mine, again!

Day 11: Dawn of the Dead (2004):

Oh man do I remember the uproar when this was announced: “Arrrrgh you can’t remake a classic, rah, rah rah etc.” Of course Hollywood was like “Shut it, ya pr!cks” but no doubt in a less Scottish vernacular. What we were presented with was a remake that paid homage to original but was in its own right also original. First off there is no shuffling but full pelt Zombies tanking it after folks, to the point where this out of shape chubby ginger bloke would be a Zombie entre, and while 28 Days Later may have had the same trope 6 years prior Danny Boyle is adamant the 28 Day’s Later is NOT a zombie film so Kudos to Zack. There is a larger group as opposed to original’s 4 which makes for a better character dynamic and there is care when likable characters go bye bye and catharsis when the bad characters join them. This is fairly relentless from the get-go, takes less than 10 minutes to get to speed and opening scene sets you up for a great movie. Potentially get some flak from DC folks over this but I maintain this is Zack Snyder’s best film. It’s Violent, Gory, Action packed as well as funny and emotional at all the right bits. Enjoy!

Day 12 Curve, Night of the Slasher, Blinky & Breathe: 

On the 12th day of Halloween, my true love gave to me 4 GOLDEN SHORTS. Yes I know I’m off on the song and the lyrics but I just can’t seem to care! So I’ll break these down Short by short without going too much into depth because too much means “why would you watch it?” 

Curve is the story of a girl who wakes up Clinging to a smooth, curved surface high above a sentient abyss. What more do I have to say about this that doesn’t have you intrigued; let’s just say that despite the simplicity, it’s very very tense. 

Night of the Slasher is shot in a single take and follows a young lady looking to violate the code of horror by committing all the sins in order to confront her would be killer. This wears its John Carpenter influences all over its blood-soaked sleeve. 

Blinky is the only Short I’d seen prior. The story a young boy and his robot who “just wants to be your friend”. Only he might be the most stable of friends, pretty sure we all have a fair share of those (if not you're obviously the mental one) I do love this short immensely. Emotional and a bit sad and pretty creepy.

Finally Breathe a very short piece in which a ghost who a young gentleman is enamored with, only appears when he holds his breath. Given how short this is I won’t say too much, but I will say it’s quite effective for the runtime.

Day 13: The Babysitter: 

This dropped on Netflix on the same evening and I thought I’d give it a bash. The film follows your standard nerd, bullied, disliked, my childhood before I became the cool hip awesome bloke you all know and love etc etc. The only person who treats him with a modicum of respect is his hot too good to be true, nerd sympathising Orthodontist....pffft, of course, it’s his Babysitter. On a standard evening of Babysitting our Nerd-do-well spies some truly nefarious dealings which features his favourite babysitter and things go pear-shaped. Hijinks and some pretty gratuitous violence are unleashed. A film that doesn't take itself remotely seriously and quite fun. The only pitfall is the shite acting, but I’m not sure if this is a stylistic choice or laziness. All cards on the table I enjoyed this film, though a bit silly, it was a good laugh.

Day 14: Christine: 

How many folks reading this have films that make you smile, that warm you no matter the genre. The equivalent of a comfort blanket? This is one such blanket for me, This here is one of my favourite Carpenter movies and Stephen King adaptation. This is a childhood classic for me and yes I was no doubt way too young to watch it but I’m so glad I did. This just your age-old typical tale of Boy meets car, boy falls in love with car, car turns out to be sentient and evil. No of course on paper this sounds guff and not too dissimilar to King's disastrous foray into Directing “Maximum Overdrive”, though trust me when I say this isn't that. What sets them apart is the creepy vibe present in Christine which is achieved by the acting talent with particular note of the leads decent into madness. The special effects are awesome and practically done and despite being 34 years old have aged better than me. My favourite of these practically done effects is the Flaming car scene. This still rings out a chorus from me screaming “HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS DONE?” The neighbours are not as appreciative as you might think. The final thread that ties this gem together is John Carpenters score. A cherished childhood memory and a long-standing favourite of mine which is yet to get old.

Day 15: Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension: 

Ahhhh the never-ending gravy train that is the Paranormal Activity franchise. By this point I assume Oren Peli is surprised that this franchise just wont rest, yet it endures. Its a very hit and miss series of films with none really capturing the originality of the first. So far I’ve not liked one of them, which was the third. The latest entry is by no means good, in fact its predictably flawed but there is an inherent difficulty keeping things fresh. This one attempts the whole 3D thing, but to be fair that is probably just an obvious attempt to squeeze that little bit of cash. Thankfully I watched it on Netflix and so I didn't have to deal with the 3D. I did however liked the explanation, in that the 3D was due to a modified camera designed to catch spectral energy. Bit flimsy I know, but better than just ignoring why a found footage series is now 3D. The story is one of those predictable flaws mentioned earlier and is on the generic side. The scares are decent but of course because the film is devoid of score builds up a background noise rumble (if you've seen any of the films, you'll know what I’m talking about) which is that cue that basically is telling you when to be scared. I hate this trope in horror films which is usually marked by the rising music. “Get ready to get scared people, woooooooh” Its false tension. If a horror film is well done it doesn't need to rely on this cheap trick. But I digress. The film was enjoyable, there’s something very gleeful in being able to see the spectral entity that the characters can't. Even if looks a tad mucus-y

Day 16: The Sixth Sense: 

A film, like the original Planet of the Apes, that everyone knows ending of. However if for some reason you’ve never managed to see this gem, I shall remain spoiler free here. So why would you watch this a second time despite knowing how it wraps? Well because it’s a very well put together creep fest and a hell of a debut from M Night Shyamalan. Yes that guy who ruined Avatar the Last Airbender. It's hard to imagine but there was a time that he was held in pretty high critical regard, his first two movies are masterworks and The Village is critically divisive but I believe its one of his most underrated films, that's right I said it, come at me, bro, and by bro I mean the internet! Also in recent years The Visit and the excellent Split has Shyamalan on a pretty clear comeback. But back to his feature debut. For those cave dwellers, the film centres on the relationship between Broken psychologist Malcolm Crowe played by Bruce Willis back when he gave a shit and Cole Sear a troubled child with the darkest of secrets. Malcolm see’s Cole as his redemption case and Cole just wants to be helped and to be rid of his curse. You see Cole is visited by some pretty darned scary spectres and he just wants to not be, which is fair enough. The two leads work very well off each other and feel for both but it the relationship between Cole and his mother that really sell this film, at it’s hear despite all the creepiness you have this Mother/son relationship which is not only believable but filled with emotional heft, I challenge you not get overwhelmed by the scene between the two in the car. Another re-watch point is absolutely fantastic score by James Newton Howard, The scares though generic these days are still quite unsettling but what makes this different from other horrors is the aforementioned emotional depth from all involved. This is a movie I’m happy to revisit.

Day 17: The Final Destination: 

This series is an extreme guilty pleasure for me. There is not much in the way of the story of depth and all follow the same generic formula, Big disaster happens or supposedly happens as standard character get the old bit premonition and stops him/her and bunch of other him’s and her’s from being part of the disaster. However given that they’ve gone and wound up Death and he’s like “NO, I’M NOT HAVING IT, THAT’S JUST NOT ON” the survivors are dispatched in creative, over the top and pretty darned gruesome fashion. This entry sees the main disaster set piece taking place at a Nascar race and after all the carnage takes place, shock, our would be protector warns a group of folks off. The deaths come thick and fast after which. This film is probably the worst of the bunch but was put on due to the relative “brain switch offedness” if afforded. There is a few highlight, the swimming pool scene, and my particular favourite Red neck + Tow Truck but this is very much a meh movie. Marred by the whole 3D inclusion the death scenes look a bit pats and very CG’d but it’s enough to switch off and enjoy.

Day 18: 30 Days of Night: 

Imagine a town where once a year there is a month of no sunrise. Now that might be unsettling in its own right but imagine that vampires discover this place exists! Buffet time and humans are the snacks. The isolation and the threat at the heart of this are simultaneously brutal and subtle. Yeah, there are some pretty spectacular set pieces but the film decides to go down a route where the fight for survival is more central. The build-up is quite slow and creepy with strange occurrences happening before we're introduced the Vampires. Carnage ensues but We spend more time with the survivors to in their claustrophobic hideout feeling just as powerless as them. The vampires are dealt with is suitably terrifying fashion, totally selling the predatory habits and ancient lineage. Very few lines of English dialogue is uttered by them, instead opting for the use of an ancient sounding language. These days in the wake of Twilight, it's hard to think of Vampires as scary creatures, this film harkens back to a time where you know you’d sh!t yourself coming face to face with one these Scary b@stards. You should also check out the source material written by Stephen Niles and drawn by Ben Templesmith. Sorry, Niles but it’s Templesmith's artwork that always draws me back, which is not to say the writing isn't good, but pick it up and you'll know what I mean.

Day 19 Holidays: 

An anthology piece around certain yearly holidays Starting with Valentine's day and culminating in New years. There are some truly dark and fuckked up shorts in this film probably taking the cake for latter is St Patrick's day & Easter. The standouts for me were Fathers Day, Valentine's day and Christmas Day. As with most anthology films there are hits and misses and a couple fall short but all in a decent little bunch if segments, like an evil Chocolate Orange!

Day 20: Fist of Jesus: 

Tonight was Games night and so I introduced my friends to the wonder of Fist of Jesus. Now, this sounds like a very dodgy title but it's not that kind of sacrilegious, it's sacrilegious in a completely different. After Jesus performs the miracle to resurrect Lazarus, things go south in an undeady type of a way. It's then up to Jesus and his bestie Judas to dispatch these strolling corpses...with lots of fish. But don't take my word for it, here are quotes from watchers:

"Made me convert to Christianity"- Archie

“Too tired, for this pish Mark!”-Evonne

“I’m at Church every Sunday now”- Liam

This is definitely worth 15 Minutes of your time!

Day 21 The Blackcoats Daughter (February): 

The danger these days with horror is to make a relentless 90 minute to 2 hour Jump scare fest and therefore make the film ultimately forgettable at its conclusion. The horror films that stick with you are the subtle slow burners that will build atmosphere throughout and only employ the jump scare periodically. You see this with the likes of The Innkeepers and It Only comes at night and in this case with February (Aka The Blackoats Daughter). From the outset, there is already something not entirely quite right and the unsettling undercurrent continues to wash over you until the film's conclusion. Often showing very little and allowing you to imagine the scenario that’s unfolded just out of eyeshot. The premise see’s a couple of young girls left at their boarding school for a winter break due to the parent’s “forgetfulness” to come and collect them in time. There is an age gap between the two ladies with youngest of the 2 going through some unsettling changes. I feel in terms of giving a synopsis that this should be enough. I suggest just going in and watching without much prior knowledge. If you prefer your horror atmospheric and slow-burning then this is the gem for you.

Day 22: The Love Witch: 

This film is stunningly shot and immediately gives you the impression you’re watching 70’s era hammer type film. While not your typical horror, it brings you in with a captivating lead and Rom-Com type of premise. Elaine (Played by Samantha Robinson) just can’t seem to make love stay. More accurately every man she falls for kind of ends up not alive, it’s pretty unlikely. Being a practicing Witch she uses her oh so considerable power and allure to reel in the unfortunate gentlemen until of course, she meets the “right” one. She then does everything she can to get him to love her back. This is a gloriously mental, at points funny kind of horror. There not full on gore for those violence hounds and there isn’t an awful lot to be scared about. It skirts the edge of “horror” very well giving you a unique experience that is likely to linger Not for all and I suspect some folks, particularly the horror aficionados may not rate this quite as highly as I do but I suggest giving it a try, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Day 23: Evil Dead 2:

Oh man, this movie fills me with a genuine sense of giddy glee whenever I think about putting it on or previous viewings that have some pretty happy memories for me. Cheesy as it sounds Movies serve for a lot of my happiest memories, taking my mum to see Marvel films, my girlfriends and I’s first date and the source of many others and my collective entourage viewings where I drag a group of my friends to see the big releases or even the tiny ones. Evil Dead 2 has particular significance in my growing up and memories with my Aunt. A day many years ago, two young folks with horror in their hearts trawled the Jack Kane centre park where a car boot sale was taking place. Through the hubbub a young Mark spots Evil Dead 2 on VHS split seconds before his Aunt Claire does and before she knows it he’s bought it from a guy, who let's be honest, shoulda checked the young Marks Id. Claire's frown slowly fades as realises what our afternoon now entails of...we’re bloody gonna watch Evil Dead 2.

I watched these films in reverse order having been shown Army of Darkness first but this is my favourite given its history. That day, as Claire and I sat in front of her tiny TV and watched this splattering of genres was a day I fondly remember and as a result will get just slightly giddy when I hear the narrator say “Necronomicon Ex Mortis, roughly translated “book of the dead” or when Ash has his maniacal laughing fit, or Henrietta in the fruit cellar or the Iconic “Groovy” and punch the air moment. Each of these moments, as well as the rest of the film, will get me goosbumpy. For those who haven't seen this (and come on if you haven't, have a word with yourself) Ash played by the always brilliant Bruce Campbell takes his lady for a romantic getaway in an isolated cabin in the woods. Of course now one draws a line in the fucking sand and Ash reads the Latin, or the latin sounding words. Either way, it's a dead language (been a while since I punned, was getting the shakes). Anyhoo this awakens something dark in woods and what follows is a blending of some excellently brilliant slapstick comedy and genuine moments of terror. It's a mix that should never work, the serious dark tone of the horror and the outlandish ridiculous humour. But man does it work and work extremely well, there's gore, dismemberment, pratfall, hands with evil intentions and a laughing mounted deer head. It's hard to express praise any higher than I already have for this film. It has a special significance to me which will won't dissipate.

Day 24: Happy Death Day: 

Groundhog Day with stabbing. Oh, you want more than that, gosh needy lot are you not! Tree Gelbman wakes up on her Birthday in a strange blokes room and goes about her standard college (University) type of day. Goes to classes, get's off with folks she's generally not supposed to until, when on the way to a party, she’s brutally dispatched. Well maybe not brutally, as the violence is pretty gosh darned tame. She then wakes up in the same boy’s bedroom...at the start of her Birthday. TIME LOOP YAAAAAAS! This rinses and repeats until the film wraps. This film could've been standard plop if not for a charismatic lead played by Jessica Rothe. She is having an absolute blast and you're along for the ride! This is a lot of fun and made me smile. My only real criticism is the lack of gore being that it's a PG-13 in the states. Now neutered horror can be good, this is a prime example but I feel my bloodlust could've been pandered to  Just a little.

Day 25: Halloween: 

Remember what I said about Evil Dead 2? I mean how could you not, its the largest chunk in this. Well, Halloween is another of those memory makers but don't worry I won't gush...too much. So yeah Black Christmas may have come first but this film is almost predominantly responsible for the slasher Horror subset of the genre, it was in the wake of this that Freddy & Jason came along (more on them later). Michael Myers is the Grandaddy of horror villains and despite treatment in recent years, started his tenure as a bloody terrifying presence. John Carpenter uses his bogeyman sparingly first, building suspense before the inevitable slaughter-fest. He stalks the poor babysitters, with Jamie Lee Curtis center stage. It still stands up because of its subtle build up, creative dispatches of those horny teens and that score. Carpenter’s scores are all pretty much iconic and sound excellent live. If you haven’t, watch this film which I was obviously too young for when I first viewed!

Day 26: Jigsaw: 

Let's get this out the way, the first Saw film is an excellent isolation thriller with a gripping story and engaging characters and with the notable exception of the 2nd film the rest of the franchise is pure shite. The films central core is completely overshadowed in the previous entries by the increasingly elaborate gore creating traps and the convoluted ways the keep using to tie each entry into it's predecessor. None have been as clever as the first. The second comes close but it is ALL downhill from there.

So was Jigsaw any good? Well it's premise is suitably intriguing with Jigsaw murders kicking back off 10 years after the franchise villain John Kramer has gone to the trap creating factory in the sky, or perhaps more likely the ground. There are obvious clues pointing to Kramer's unlikely return but something is not quite right. That is   where the smartness ends as the film find it hard to decide what it's gonna do and therefore the big "reveal" is pretty much "saw it coming". Despite my misgivings, I did enjoy this film but more in an " awwww look it's trying so hard to be as good as the first". If you want to capture that previous macabre magic of the first, strip down the budget, the location and characters and tell what seems like a simple story. I suspect there's a Hollywood exec thinking of doing the complete opposite which is why this film and any subsequent entries will ever be as good as the original.

Day 27: Tucker and Dale Vs Evil:

You know the old horror genre trope of those backward Hillbillies being those to avoid horror films cause you'll be "doomed" if you cross them? Well, prepare to have your prejudices reversed. Tucker & Dale Played by Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine respectively are off to fix up their summer cabin when these pesky kids start dying all over their property. The film pokes all kinds fun at those standard genre cliches by flipping them on their head and keeps poking fun until the end. It's violent but only in over the top to prove it's commitment to its irreverence. Laugh out load throughout and quite heartwarming at others. This is a particular favourite of mine and I'm glad I included it.

Day 28 Stranger Things Season 2 (Episodes 1-5- at the time but. season complete now): 

So we paced this. I firmly believe that binge-watching is not a good habit to get into. It's so easy to sit for 8/9 hours, or higher, straight and tank a series thanks largely to Netflix's model. The problem is that once it's done in record time...you have nothing for a year. Ordinarily, I prefer to watch 2/3 eps at a time over several days or sometimes weeks. Restraint means better enjoyment, so despite having the whole the season at your fingertips pace yourself. So now my rant is over on to How good was Stranger Things S2...VERY! Before I start gushing I'd like to address the Demogorgon in the room by saying Episode 7 haters gee yerself peace! There was absolutely nothing wrong with the episode and it's placement, Jesus they establish the fact that this will be addressed in the very first episode. It gives some much-enjoyed character development to Eleven and despite claims that it kills the pace I think it gives a needed breather, especially if you are binger. Also, anyone else I've spoken to in person very much enjoyed the episode so there is that. So this season kicks off a year after the events of the first. Will is still having a rough time of it with it being claims of him struggling with PTSD but something more sinister is present. Joyce is dating Samwise Gamgee and Nancy and & Jonathan are pretending they don't love each other and so on. Look the story is great and I could outline plot thread by plot thread but lets put it this way if you want to sit through a compelling nostalgia trip with some of the best ensemble of talented child actors to grace the screen in many years then this is your cuppa tea. There are some pretty great stand out moments, Farrah Fawcett Hairspray anyone? I'm curious to see where the Spielbergian Steven King by a jaunt through Silent Hill goes next and will be like the rest of you. Eagerly anticipating Season 3, which just in case you were in speculative doubt has just been greenlit! Can't wait.

Day 29: Brain Damage:

 Saw this back at Dead by Dawn a few years back, it's certainly a film. I have quite the fondness for this schlocky tongue in cheek affair in which Brian awaken one morning not feeling the best. it turns out that this is because he has a new companion in a smooth-talking symbiotic parasite known as Aylmer. Aylmer's friendship is not free, in exchange for some mind-expanding chemicals that Aylmer excretes, Brian must hep his new friend acquire Brains...human brains to be exact. Not to Brian's credit, he remains fairly oblivious to this for the most part due being trashed out of his gourd.

This film is more comedy than horror but there some pretty gratuitous moments of gore and the films core concept means that there is a whole of lot creative ways to dispatch the brain buffet's and I mean creative. For those who have seen this film, You'll know exactly what scene I'm referring to and those who haven't well go ahead and give it a bash. A great but insane 80's offering.

Day 30: Freddy Vs Jason: 

God this movie is stupid. I mean really stupid. But let's put some of the old bit perspective on this bad boy. Before the MCU, before WB was struggling with the DCEU we had a crossover that horror fanboys were geeking out over as much as I did watching the Avengers: Infinity War trailer. This was the showdown that was eagerly anticipated since Krugers Razor accessorised glove dragged Jason's Mask to depths of hell 10 years prior to the closing seconds of Jason goes to Hell. Was it worth the wait, well probably not but I was still excited to see it, to the point I nearly elbow dropped a boy for spoiling it while I was up a ladder adjusting a Finding Nemo banner. Reckon I'm going to leave that there with no hint of context. As stated the film is stupid but sets it's self up is sort of clever SORT OF. Freddy is in a bit of a funk as now he's all but forgotten due to a plot by local police to hide the truth about the previous murders (yup, that's not made up). The irked Kruger decides he'll dispatch a would be slaughterer for hire and goes about waking Jason up from his rest and sets him loose on the Elm st kids taking credits in a bit of a dick move. When Jason won't come to heel, well that's when the old "Vs" comes into play and the scraps take place in Freddy's dream realm as well as in the real world, and I have to say the set pieces are pretty cool. It's not the best film, hell it's not even a good film but it brainless as the "teenage" fodder in the film and pretty darned enjoyable.

31. Train to Busan: 

And finally, my horror films came to a close for the month with this South Korean cracker. A father escorts his young daughter to Busan by train to see her mum for her birthday. A journey the young girl insists she's capable of going alone, you'll be glad the Father decides not to listen to her as all hell breaks loose when some of those pesky living impaired board the train with a lack of tickets and etiquette of the biting of humans. The rest of the film thunders from one tense set piece to another ensuring the sphincter remains puckered throughout. There is some also very surprising emotional heft throughout and moments that make me test my manly non-crying limits. Director Sang-ho Yeon is definitely one I'll keep an eye out for.

So there you have it. Took me a month to write, next year if I do this I'll be sure to write the reviews as I'm going along. I would appreciate any feedback, comments or discussions you want to have as I require constant validation. This includes suggestions for 2018's 31 Days of Horror. If you have made it this far, thanks and I hope you enjoyed this Macabre Madness.