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Thinking about guilt in whump.
The guilt of a whumper, who realizes what they've done is wrong.
The guilt of a whumpee, who thinks they deserve what happens to them.
The guilt of a caretaker, who thinks they didn't do enough to protect the person they care for.
The guilt of whumper's aides, who didn't stop their doings.
The guilt of a rogue caretaker, who might have gone too far in their mission.
The guilt of a whumpee, who blames themself for not fighting hard enough.
The guilt of a caretaker, who gave up.
The guilt of those, who just watched.
Guilt.
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That thing in fanfic. Omg. Where the characters do things that they definitely wouldn't do in canon[1], but the dialogue and the thought processes are so emphatically, perfectly-written, and so profoundly true to those characters that it's just utterly convincing. Where a writer will take the characters down incredible byways but they know them, oh goodness they know those characters, they know them inside and out, so you'll follow the story anywhere. :D
Right now this is brought to you by that delightful Cabin Pressure fic where Douglas and Martin get together while being fake-married in Saltzburg (it's brilliant, all fellow Douglas/Martin shippers who like sweetness and filth and humour and a bit of hurt/comfort you are so missing out if you haven't read it yet :) ), but honestly I could have been moved to make this post by so many fics I've read, in every fandom I'm in and some I'm generally not. :-)
Honestly this is one of the greatest things fanfic does, and we should feel very good about that. :) <3
[1] Hugging each other, fucking each other, adopting a kid, actually talking about their feelings for once, running a florist or a bakery, selling one of their books for once, leading a werewolf pack, going to see their friend-on-the-force play rugby and cycling all the way home, becoming pregnant, becoming a spy... oh, you know the drill.
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What was the Rebecca pulling out the green matchbook with the army man intertwined in it versus Ted pulling out the green matchbook and the red and blue magnets
What was that for
#ted lasso spoilers#ted lasso#tedbecca#im not even a hardcore tedbecca shipper#but all these interviews with the cast going oh i dont understand how anyone could think tedbecca would be canon#if not WHAT WERE THESE FOR#in a show where the writers insist on being so meticulous about so many details why include this DIRECT parallel between the two#among so many others
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2 things ive learnt learning french:
i know a LOT of english words
i use a lot of them wrong
#and 3. a couple hundred of french words i suppose#this is Terrifying but im pretty happy with it#i feel like a bABY in french#it's actually kinda nuts i spoke english for like 8 years before i started writing in it#of COURSE my french isnt gonna be as good after like 2 months#but i cant WAIT for it to be good enough that i can start writing in french#theres like. a whole new world to explore#anyway translated this fic#most of it anyway. not the last scene bc the way i use english there i cant do that in french yet#but hopefully i can add that in a few months#also thank you to all the english speakers whove gracefully seen through the fingers (dutch idiom hi) and forgiven#all my wrong uses of english words#did you know i use 'startle' wrong? i totally use startle wrong#among so many others#thanks for pretending you didnt see it thats so nice of you <3
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binging drawtectives... have u seen them. have u frickin seen them!!!
#drawtectives#grendan highforge#drawtectives turns out to be perfect to draw fanart for bc all I do is putting characters in costumes like dolls anyway#grandma I love u.... york & rosé I love u too I will get to u soon babes#I genuinely love that theres no like. interpersonal conflict among these three at all like their stories just have none of that#everyone is so rude to them but theyre besties and they sleep in the same bed and none of them can stay mad at the others#its great. high comedy great choice#halfway thru s2... cant wait to chew thru the rest of it#Im so show rich rn got so many things to watch. Im happy as a lark
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Pokeattorney AU x 15th anniversary skit because I take great personal enjoyment in making fun of Edgeworth
...just as much as Phoenix does. The video in question :
youtube
_ pokeattorney AU tag
Btw just for the record whenever I mention the unnecessary feelings bit keep in mind that I didn't bat an eye when I first saw it, but in restrospect it's hilarious and now I just really like to make fun of him for it. Unconfortable Miles hides and/or says things in the most convoluted way possible adding in further embarassment upon himself. And I like to make fun of him for it <3
#ace attorney#narumitsu#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#wrightworth#pokemon#periwinkla#pokeattorney au#I had this as a wip for something like 2 months#I have so many wips you don't understand....#this was file n.43 of 2024#for reference the nrmt poster was n.36 (started with the layout way earlier than necessary bc I has sudden layout-inspiration ahahah)#and I have reached n.47 rn.... (which is the 14 page-travesty of a comic)#btw this was also an experiment bc I'm trying to figure out how to render the 14 page travesty#since there is no way I'm using BW coloring#it's just not for me - guess I'm allergic to BW (you might have noticed)#...I like it in other people's art but just don't like using it myself#I don't even use BW for rough sketches#not even when I drew traditionally#....always colored pencils even for sketching#btw among other things I also have a pokeattorney AU x T&T gang wip just post the BTTT dinner.... when will I ever finish that? whoknows
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based on what fukuchi said regarding the one order, fyodor can't use it. the one order has already been configured to fukuzawa. it's not clear that fyodor knows this (although it's explicit that fukuchi didn't trust fyodor).
it's also telling that fukuchi comments that fyodor wouldn't be able to interfere. he doesn't clarify with what fyodor wouldn't be able to interfere. (such as, for example, fukuchi reconfiguring the one order against fyodor's conception of the plan.) it's also relevant that fukuchi says "no one else could have thought it up," indicating he understands, to some degree, fyodor's genre of strategic reasoning. surely, then, he's picked up on fyodor's overt blind spots regarding others' capacity for trust and subversion based on trust.
that fyodor can't command the one order renders fyodor's threat moot, although nevertheless informative.
because if the one order coordinates all of the users' subordinates, then anyone subordinate to fukuzawa could be commanded by fukuzawa. bram, shortly before fyodor took him, pledged himself as a knight to aya, even forsaking his prior title to subordinate himself to her.
his subordination to aya is so deeply ingrained that fyodor even still calls her princess and affirms that the vow remains.
in other words, all aya has to do to give fukuzawa control over the vampires. is subordinate herself to fukuzawa. vow with her whole, fierce heart that she is his to command. or, fukuzawa can reconfigure the one order to respond to her voice; if fukuchi was able to transition the authority he was granted to use it to fukuzawa, then fukuzawa should similarly be able to do the same.
tl:dr, the one order is useless in fyodor's hands, and, together, fukuchi's love for and trust in fukuzawa and bram's love for and trust in aya are a chekov's gun.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd 115#bsd theories#bsd bram#bsd aya#also like i know fyodor is holding the one order but kunikida and junichiro are loose and have had time to recover#this is nothing a wire gun and illusion cant fix#among many other options#fyodor worked SO hard to get bram's body and idiot doesnt even know what love and trust do to a man
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Yes, because all women are just so desperate to write about how a 14 yo girl ends up in a relationship with a grown man who’s 11 years older than her, just because he can wield a “laser sword.” That totally doesn’t sound at all like self projection rather than actual facts, and the idea overall totally doesn’t sound drenched in “male gaze” either. Yup. Totally. (Something’s wrong with your vision.)
I don’t know about you, my love, but don’t group the rest of us women with your type.
Btw, did you ever consider that maybe the reason why Padmé wasn’t impressed by him in TPM is because her standards aren’t as low as yours?
#star wars#anidala#pro anidala#padmé amidala#anakin skywalker#anti ob****d*la#haters dni#like never speak on me#i among many other women would not write the story this way.#anyway#anidala is the superior ship#+ canon lol#like we know how badly jealous of anakin they all are and would just love to get rid of him#but like… that was never gonna happen anyway lol#saying this to spite anakin’s character is so immature#like who are y’all tryna get at?? anakin and padmé are literally married and died loving one another endlessly.#be so fr
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So I caved, and I made a Simpsons OC, because of course. I blame my friends for having too much fun getting silly with them (ily).
Ann-Doreen Dale is just your usual Springfield resident, getting tangled in the many shenanigans of everyone else, usually a victim of circumstances rather than a driver of them.
Most of her episodes revolve around her 'housewife community' (my friends' OCs), and her sham of a relationship with Snake.
This woman was born to fail at life.
#the simpsons#oc#ocs#ann-doreen dale#my art#this is my housewife oc. who gets a divorce in her introductory episode. to be used as lesson to marge and homer ofc lmao#i should really write those ep ideas down somewhere lmao#anyway i have so many more drawings of her and my friends' ocs also. among other things#and many more ideas for the future#i also have plain old fanarts and not only oc stuff!! which is notable for me#it's been a while since i've had this much fun#simpsons oc
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the sheer unfaithfulness of laudna's argument of, "i gave you a bruise, you gave me gashes" in trying to undermine orym's validity as if she wasn't the REASON he had attacked her, thinking she was an enemy because he couldn't SEE her after she cast darkness and she wouldn't SPEAK UP to assure him that it was her and she REFUSED to back down after he woke up and chose thievery and lashing out and risking his life AND his trust instead of COMMUNICATING, left me completely and utterly FLABBERGASTED at the AUDACITY
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#laudna#orym#yeah there were moments where laudna was absolutely correct#i.e. when chet said that she hadn't experienced loss like the others#and her feelings about the sword in general#but oh man that moment was NOT one of them#definitely a moment that pissed me off#among many if not most other moments in that argument#i.e. orym calling out laudna's hypocrisy for “relying” on a dark force#like ooooo he called her out so haaaaard#like yes circumstances are vastly different#but she can't call the kettle black as an argument#and not expect to be told that the pot is also black
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hate it when there’s already enough characters & they bring in a new one to take up all the attention from the already interesting characters. like ok. no one asked
#I usually end up warming up but I do seem to often hafe new characters#I hate Harry’s ex wife fr she’s so annoying like omg who caress#how many love interests does Harry need#like he has enough. this is too many. what was the point of her showing up. go away & stop causing drama there’s enough going on#with the alien plot & all the other love & family drama among the characters#this just feels so pointless. what’s the point of her#I’m watching resident alien btw#sorry I’ve been silent so far I’ve just been casually liking it#my toxic trait is I only comment on stuff I don’t like lol#tv tag#resident alien
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to shreds, you say... [from (x), id in alt!]
DON'T LOOK AT THE HAND look at the lil stickers instead <3
+ blood-free version
#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#kazuma kiryu#majima goro#kazumaji#kiryu kazuma#goro majima#goromi#yakuza fanart#contra art#rgg#fanart#rgg fanart#ryu ga gotoku fanart#i don't practice/study anatomy/fullbody stuff very often so i keep feeling like the dress is way too short#(among many other issues but WHATEVER!!! i'm a hobbyist i can be free [said while bashing myself in the face with hammers])#but yknow what.#the dress being too short is fine actually it can all just be out there. it can alllll just be right on out there. heart.
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Kudo is actually such a kind, soft-hearted guy that had to toughen up because he cared too much
He looked at AFO's rule, and even though he was weak, he had that glint in his eye that has been referred to as the "will of a hero" to oppose him. A hopeful glint shared with Midoriya, Bakugo, and Hawks
He even parallels Hawks when they talk about that particular look in their eye
From a glimmer in the eye, to which eye is shown, how much of the face, a similar angle of the face, and placement of text questioning the existence of that light,
He stormed to kill Yoichi with Bruce, but couldn't, once he saw the state Yoichi was in. Even knowing he was the enemy, he still reached out his hand and never let go, even when they were running
When Yoichi died, even though they'd only been together for two months, Kudo still cried and froze up.
This is a reaction from a man who repeatedly used lives as a stepping stone for his own goal.
Kudo said himself, that victory was life, and defeat was death. He had killed and seen his friends killed over and over, but still cries when it happens again. And to someone he only knew for two months, at that.
Kudo gathered allies under his cause, and they were loyal enough to die for him. Bruce cries (still smiling tho) facing AFO, tried protecting Kudo when he froze up at Yoichi's death, and we see all Kudo's comrades dead in the end. Maybe Bruce was suicidal when he went to face AFO, knowing he'd die, but most of his comrades (and Kudo) were already gone. Their cause was snuffed out, but the will persisted.
Kudo is a bit like Aizawa.
A bit crass and blunt, doesn't like beating around the bush, but he can clearly see what kind of person you are. He's not openly kind, but you know he cares so much, but has also lost too much once. He's seen his friend(s) die, and shouldn't it have been him in that spot? Shouldn't he have died instead, but was forced to continue living for that dead person's sake?
His speech about why we call Abilities "Quirks", recognizing people's intent over raw power is the real power. (Ch 369)
He's blunt and goes straight to the results rather than beat around the bush, but it doesn't mean his heart is frozen and he doesn't care about you. (Ch 408)
He cares so much, and that's why he has to do so much. (His whole Resistance thing, figuring out how Yoichi's Factor works to make sure Yoichi and his will can live on in some way)
He recognizes that Midoriya isn't driven by duty, but that he genuinely adores Quirks too much. (Ch 414) He could look at Midoriya, read that immediately, and even though he looked through his memories, Midoriya's character was his takeaway. Not that Midoriya is an idiot for letting himself be stepped on, or that this kid was bullied, but that Midoriya could see the goodness in others.
Like how Aizawa saw that Midoriya was relying on the reason [It can't be helped] whenever OFA broke his bones and told him he can't always break himself just because he could be fixed (Midoriya's recklessness that showed itself on the first day of school). He called out something that was an underlying, innate belief to Midoriya, that was so normal to the teen, and no one else had brought up as wrong to him.
The first thing they perceive is a person's character.
When Aizawa tied up Midoriya on the first day of school, he wasn't telling him off over his Quirk destroying him being a PR thing or too gruesome for the public. It was out of the fact that his Quirk shouldn't destroy him, because it's dangerous for Midoriya.
Aizawa came off antagonistic, but he was looking out for Midoriya. He didn't want him to keep breaking his whole arm, he didn't want him to get stuck in the mindset that he had to get hurt to use his Quirk, he was looking out for his wellbeing from the start. A kid he didn't know personally until that day.
Kudo did a similar thing. He turned his back, and refused to help, because they were putting their hopes in a delusional boy who would go too far. When the vestiges realized their gathered Abilities and Quirks were letting Midoriya have the freedom to do as he wished, Kudo already knew, only saying "His path is the right one". He could relate to having to run full-sprint to see your goal realized, even if everything opposed him, but didn't want Midoriya to go through that same path alone.
If he were alone, he'd be like Nagant. He had to have comrades to be like Kudo, able to continue and stand for their beliefs, but having comrades to fall back on, or pull him back when it's too much. That's why he follows up in that moment with, "But, if there's something Midoriya does need..."
Kudo and Aizawa could see themselves or their comrades in others, and knew how to approach those character flaws that were normalized to others and said person.
Kudo could see others for who they were, and I think it's this, and his caring nature, that he gathered so many allies with him. He knew when to be blunt, when to show kindness, that the truth hurts but needs to be seen, was actually very logical and witty, and when to step aside and let people do their thing, even if it wasn't the best move (like saving All Might). Because that was what was best for that person.
It's not like people would join someone so wholeheartedly without conviction and being left unseen by that person. So many people were willing to die with and for Kudo, and Bruce believes in him so much.
When All Might's vestige was fading and becoming more solid, Kudo had to look away. They knew it meant All Might was dying in the real world.
Kudo was telling Midoriya not to intervene with Gearshift there. But once he saw All Might genuinely dying out, he couldn't look at him, and kept quiet. He stopped hanging onto battlefield logic of necessity, shut up, let Midoriya do his thing, and it saved All Might. It saved Midoriya from seeing his idol die in front of him, and Kudo didn't have to see another ally die beside him.
The chapter is literally called [We Love You All Might!!]. Even if it's just meant to focus in Bakugo and Midoriya, and only has 2 exclamation marks, it can't discount the world is watching. The vestiges care about All Might too.
When the vestiges come up with the plan to forcibly transfer themselves to deal damage, Kudo volunteers himself as the test dummy. Sure, he backs it with a lot of reason too, but he didn't want anyone else to go first as a test drive
He, with a Gearshift Ability that resembled a manual car, was the test drive. Ha ha pun- *gets shot*
En tried going first. Kudo rejected him, saying he would go first.
"Part ways with Gearshift [me], and you'll be free of the crippling recoil too."
Too. TOO.
KUDO JUST WANTED TO GO AND BE DESTROYED FIRST. HE PUT THE FREEDOM OF RECOIL DOWN AS AN EXTRA BONUS SO THEY'D AGREE WITH HIS CHOICE.
I'd cut the image so it looks better, and I can use Bruce's words elsewhere, but this is an image limit, so,
- Kudo refused to let anyone else go first. This was before giving reasons to convince them he should leave first
- En gives reason to why it can't be Kudo. Kudo just says, "Listen." and reminds them of now.
- Look at Kudo's face when he says that. The guy knows what he's doing when he cuts off En, and would probably be a horrible liar. He might as well be pulling this out of his ass.
He's said "The world will end" "You have to or else" "Five minutes" "You're going to die" a few times in this fight already. DUDE STOPPP
(Terrible liar and a guy who purposely eggs you to torment? What a great friend he would be [yknow, when u make ur friends freak out by being ominous or reminding them of stuff. Like Toast to Lilypichu in a game of Observation Duty])
- "Too."
- Bruce's trust in him, but knowing when to pull Kudo back from going too far
Also, when he's transferred, he smiles to Midoriya. He knows he's about to die again, but the last thing he does for Midoriya is
1) Take away the recoil of his existence as a Factor on the boy
2) Reassure him that it's okay, so it doesn't weigh on his conscience
Even if only in thought, STILL!
KUDO LOOKED SO PROUD OF MIDORIYA!
I bet Kudo is suuuch a sentimental fool
> [Be me and watch your new friend die]
> [I have Yoichi's Factor]
> [It's like I carry his will now]
> [Have a glint of opposition in my eye that drives the Demon Lord and my comrades (Bruce) crazy]
> [Hey Bruce, let's figure out how it transfers]
> [Bruce's common sense VS my rabid ideas]
> [I win]
> [Bruce was unwilling the whole time and still ends up with the Factor]
> [The Factor is named One For All, after something in Yoichi's favorite comic book series]
> [We pass it on to the future to carry forward]
> [Even as everyone else and me dies, I make sure Yoichi and his will are safe from his Demon Lord brother that locked him up]
> [Decades later, my sweet vaulted friend reminds me of when we met]
> [I turn around and give my whole-hearted support to believe in some 15-year old boy because Yoichi believes in him too]
SEN - TIM - ENT - AL!
When Shinomori was stolen by AFO, Shinomori pushed everyone away before they could really notice the invader. Kudo called out for him.
Everyone is in shock, but I don't think it's a mistake that the text bubble calling out for Shinomori is pointing from Kudo.
All For One made it through and is ready to steal them, but the first thing Kudo did was call out for the one at the very front.
[On the post I made that mentions Shinomori pushing everyone away] What if Kudo wasn't pushed away? What if this was him at the front, realizing the danger and turning around, but being unable to do anything for Shinomori when he saw?
Like Bruce, Kudo communicates. He doesn't expect you to just follow or understand him. He actually lays it out and makes sure you keep up.
He explains
- the transfer of vestiges, and why he should go first
- his Quirk
- why Quirks are Quirks
- reports to Midoriya what's happening and what's next
- to Yoichi why they couldn't trust in a delusional boy. In a way that wasn't Bruce's roundabout "we lived in a terrible era and a leader gathered us"
When En panics, he barks at En to keep up. By barking at him, rather than any other way he could've used his tone, it shuts up En in his frantic babbling. Kudo also lets Vestige Might put in his thoughts to understand better, and uses it.
Eye reflection. Kudo can really see people for who they are, and understands others, and himself.
I can't repeat the pics cuz image limit, but look at previous panels here. For example, Kudo saying Yoichi's will lives in him, and when AFO reflected in his eyes
It's something I learned from Re:Zero. When a person in reflected in one's eye, something something that person can see the true core of you, of what you really are underneath everything. The eyes are the window and mirror [glass] of the soul. I finally see the true you.
AFO never reflected anyone.
But Kudo reflected AFO when the man accidentally killed Yoichi. He saw that AFO wasn't seeing anything, so later, Kudo smiled and mocked AFO at his own death.
"Yoichi?"
"He's gone."
"You killed him, Demon Lord."
And AFO hated that reminder.
Kudo was reminding him of what the truth was. Kudo saw it himself, and AFO blocked it out from the get-go. Kudo already knew what AFO was, what he was seeing, what he was doing to himself by blaming Kudo instead of himself.
And then, Kudo's eyes reflected his own hand when he realized Yoichi's Factor was in him.
Kudo clearly saw himself, and in himself, Yoichi. Nothing distorted it. It really was a clear mirror.
He really perceived Yoichi's will was living on, and was right. Otherwise, his eyes wouldn't have shown it.
Kudo was right about AFO. It's even implied back when he and Bruce had their backs turned; Kudo knew what AFO's real goal was. That was back when AFO preached unity and division under him.
Kudo could always see right through AFO. He really understood people from the start. And he never tried making up truths to justify what he was seeing, facing it head-on.
Kudo's lying about the world being black and white.
Kudo and Bruce saw the world as black and white. This was mentioned in the void.
Kudo also says, "Victory meant life. Defeat meant death."
But it's the Resistance. It's when Japan and the world was at their lowest. The world wasn't black and white; there's lots of gray.
Kudo and Bruce would've seen this. Kudo even admits that there's gray, just not directly.
Kudo says Yoichi knows, how he killed and trampled so many lives, to get back at AFO. He knows it wasn't right, or an amazing choice. Later, he says that when your back is against the wall, you have to make callous judgements. These hint at gray moments.
Kudo and Bruce have faced and been in the gray. But it's too hard to make the right choices, and there are times there is no right answer.
Historically, soldiers would convince themselves the enemy were monsters. They wouldn't be able to fight and kill them otherwise. They wouldn't be able to live with themselves without believing in this so badly.
Kudo and Bruce had to have been the same way. They were Meta Humans [Monsters] in a time they were viewed as diseased humans. The monsters were real. And they had a Demon Lord. Kudo and Bruce literally dressed up as soldiers.
Even if they were monsters to society, being Meta, Kudo and Bruce were still human. They knew this. The ones who tried believing in only black and white were inhabitants of the gray itself.
But they have to protect themselves. Kudo is so adamant that the world is only black and white, because he can't stand the gray. What it makes him do, what it means, that he's too weak to do anything.
Yoichi is an example of that gray area. The mortal enemy's younger brother, was actually locked up and sickly. He's just a comic book nerd. And it humanized the other side Kudo opposed so vehemently.
Kudo says victory is life and defeat is death. And Yoichi asked why he reached out to him then. He reminded Kudo of that gray area, and Kudo opened up.
Kudo might avoid the gray area because it's a matter of the heart and a moral dilemma, but it's what makes him human. When there's no right answer in the battlefield, he decides on his feelings instead.
He wishes the world was black and white, because it'd be so easy. But it's not.
Yoichi reminded him of how entering that gray area led to OFA ("when you reached out your hand to me"), and it had been the best choice in the end. The gray area is real, and Kudo's left a bare man with only his emotions when he's there.
Kudo is actually really kind and understanding. He's too soft for his own good. Thanks if you made it this far, I hope it makes sense (tag and image limit)
#KUDO IS UNDERRATED NEEDS MORE CONTENT RECOGNITION HES THE KINDEST WITTLE BOY EVER#my thoughts#i think ppl who write resistance stuff should also consider that not everything was black and white#there will be moral arguments where you cant decide. and the resistance has faced those sorts of things where There Is No Right Answer.#kudo is really kind tho. exactly because he cares so much he does all these things and tries to harden himself#but like exoskeletons work - its only an armor to protect the soft squishy insides and keep them from drying out#i woke up and had to put this stuff down#me: *picks up a sentence note in my fic notes* *puts it down here and elaborates*#the line was in relation to putting down stuff about the vestiges to remember dynamics#[Kudo is the kindest despite appearances]#kudo seems like he would be fiercely protective over ppl he cares about. exactly because hes seen so many of his comrades die over and over#kudo#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#spoilers#ofa#one for all#bruce#bruce is the meme of “*chuckles* I'm in danger” and its just. Kudo w/ his new crazy idea chasing him down with Gearshift and Yoichis Factor#hikage shinomori#en tayutai#yoichi shigaraki#ive been thinking he was kind for a long time but never elaborated why. if u look at his actions words and thoughts it all makes sense#theres underlying kindness in there. he wants to be kind but the world would scorch him if he didnt have a stick up his ass#also adding on to the prev tag of kudo and fiercely protective- because in their times comrades were everything. otherwise you were alone#the world sucks resources are limited and youre a diseased human [Meta]. but you have someone willing to walk with you.#also about the [Kudo is the kindest] note among the vestiges- i dont think any of the other vestiges would do what kudo did#calmly volunteering himself rather than it being in panic. extending a hand and saving what shouldve been his mortal enemy. yknow
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I just think not enough of you use Taking Back Sunday lyrics in your toxic ship posts
#'the truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt' is perfect for it#among many others#to be fair i've never actually looked for toxic ship posts so maybe you already do lmao#i just listened to this song though and had that thought#mike rambles
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on tonights episode of critical role:
- how to tame your dragon
- fey-man painting interrogation
- braius fucks a hag with two faces
#quite literally what has happened#among other things but those are unimportant (theyre important theyre just stressing me out do we press ignore)#imogen#laudna#braius#fearne#chetney#dorian#orym#ashton#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#chetney pock o'pea#dorian storm#braius doomseed#nana mori#god so many characters to tag#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr#cr spoilers#crit role#critrole#crit role spoilers#c3e108#reamblings
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I always think a lot of Mickey’s trauma that he buried pretty deep will hit him really really hard post canon.
He’s been in survival mode his whole life so he suppressed a lot of what happened to him just to get through life. He didn’t have the option of dealing with it.
Post canon, things will likely finally slow down for him - less money worries because they have their business, no threat of Terry coming after him, not doing many illegal things so less constant fear of getting caught for something and going back to jail.
So he’ll finally be able to relax a bit and, in his mind, start living and enjoying things in life.
But I think once life slows down, all the trauma from his childhood all the way to adulthood will hit him like a truck. Even things he hasn’t thought about in years will really start affecting him.
And I think he’d get frustrated with himself because he wouldn’t be able to understand why he’s doing so much worse when things are finally good.
But that’s actually why he’s doing so much worse. Because he doesn’t need to constantly prepared for something going wrong, so there’s space for other things in his mind, so everything he’s buried would come right to the surface.
I feel like he’d go through a pretty hard time before he can start to get better because he’ll have to face things he’s suppressed head on, because he won’t be able to bury them any more.
#I see it manifesting in intense flashbacks and panic attacks and nightmares#among other things#I think it would get to the point where he’d have no choice but to get help#he’d probably go kicking and screaming but he’d need to do it#I’m not a psychiatrist but always thought he’d have PTSD#i also think this is why so many people don’t understand his character in the later seasons because they expect him to be this#perfectly healed communicative adult#but in reality he’s still very traumatized and in survival mode and therefore hasn’t truly dealt with anything#and that has a massive impact on his actions even though he doesn’t realize it#mickey milkovich#gallavich#shameless#shameless us#Mickey Milkovich meta#similarly I think when Ian realises he was groomed by Kash and ned he’ll have to deal w all that and it’ll be hard#I travelled for 10 hours today and this was all I wrote lol
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