#american nightmare canon my beloved

[miswaken]

She’d known Serena Valdivia for years — photographers and filmmakers weren’t far removed professions, after all. Serena was the first person Alice thought to reach out to when the idea of a film started itching at the back of her mind. It was just a personal project, a bid for catharsis once the calendar flipped back to September. A full year. Serena was happy to help, advising over phone calls and emails with Alice’s novice editing attempts attached. She even made the trip up to New York a few times, removing herself from her curatorial work in Arizona to huddle over lengths of film and cups of coffee with Alice, and the apartment felt more alive than it had in so long.

Maybe it should have been awkward, given the circumstances. The film was about Alan, after all. About them. But the work was starting to feel less like reclaiming and more like letting go. One evening, after hours spent tweaking the transition between one scene and the next, they were slumped on the couch together and something unclenched itself in Alice’s chest. The sky outside was streaked sunset purple and Serena’s glasses were pushed up into her forehead after focusing for too long, and that’s when Alice leaned over and kissed her.

When Serena kissed her back, it was like the world started making sense again. It wasn’t really about the kiss — or what came after. It was about feeling seen and heard and held again, and remembering how good it felt to carry love in her heart. Her grief didn’t evaporate, but for the first time in over a year something else was allowed to exist alongside of it.

Alice was happy.

Navigating a long distance relationship was a new challenge, but Alice was willing to make it work. The arrangement wasn’t perfect, but it was enough — she wasn’t ready for deeper commitment yet, anyway. The film was, perhaps, just an excuse to keep seeing each other as much as it was something to spark Alice’s creative mind. But slowly it turned into something she was proud of, something with enough artistic merit that Serena was convincing her to show it at an arts festival she was organizing in Arizona. It took a while for Alice to agree, but eventually she relented. It would give her a deadline to wrap up the project and put it away, at least. And the last time she’d traveled anywhere had been… well…

She flew out a few days in advance of the festival and stayed with Serena. They drove around the desert and shot half a dozen rolls of film, ate takeout over Serena’s busted coffee table, and slept bundled under blankets with the ac blasting away the late summer heat. When they went to give an interview with the local radio station, knees bumping under the too-small table, Alice’s sense of peace was broken by the familiar barrage of questions. Was Eddie Rodman judging her for believing what seemed so obvious — that Alan was well and truly dead? Or was it guilt rearing its ugly head again, a reflection of that buried internal fear that she’d given up on him too soon?

Serena’s words were a firm reassurance as she brought the interview back on track, her voice warm with nothing but support and praise for Alice’s work. Her hand, when it found Alice’s under the table, was a silent lifeline. They didn’t speak about the interview or about Alan when they left the studio. After dinner Serena dropped Alice off and apologized for needing to head back to the drive-in so late, but there were still details to perfect and iron out before the festival started the next day. Alice didn’t think anything of it.

Her dreams that night were strange — but, then, they often were. In them she was walking in the desert and the sun was setting, and a figure she recognized was walking a few feet ahead of her. She kept calling his name but he wouldn’t turn around, only walking faster and faster until he was running and she was running after him, screaming his name while he either didn’t or couldn’t hear her. Eventually she couldn’t keep up, or she blinked and he vanished. But then a voice would sound behind her as she stood alone, panting, gasping for dry air — “Alice?” And she would turn and see him, only he was dressed in a pressed three piece suit instead of a faded flannel, his smile too sharp and his eyes too dark, and in spite of the way her lungs screamed she’d take off running again. He would call after her but it sounded like a taunt and not a plea, and just when she felt a hand wrapping around a fistful of her hair and pulling — she’d wake up.

The dream repeated itself three times before she resigned herself to a painfully early start to the day. For the best, perhaps. Her film would debut, appropriately, just after sunrise. Serena had never come back the night prior. She must have worked through the night. Alice drove her rental to the drive-in, stopping for coffee and breakfast to bring along, and found Serena holed up in the front office. She seemed almost surprised to see Alice there. Surprised and relieved. “Thought you’d be someone else,” she said as she accepted the coffee. A question hung on Alice’s tongue, but died when one of the festival techs knocked on the office door asking for the access code to the projection booth.

She never did get to ask what Serena meant.

The film premiere was a pleasant success. Alice hadn’t expected much of a crowd so early in the morning, but the turnout was respectable, even if it was clear a good number of attendees were there only as fans of her late husband’s work. It wasn’t about them, or for them, really. She was content and that was what mattered. Still, she couldn’t shake the way Serena seemed… off. There was an odd distance between them in the projection booth while the film ran, and each time Alice looked over at her, her eyes were locked on the screen. That wasn’t what was odd, though. Her brows were pinched and she was clearly chewing on the inside of her cheek — things Alice could write off as an artist and a festival chair being overly critical of her own work on display, if it wasn’t for the way she was, ever so slightly, shaking where she stood.

At a party that night, sipping on celebratory champagne as she chatted with the other filmmakers and artists from the festival — even Barry Wheeler, there with his latest clients, paid her work a polite compliment — she could almost forget about the strangeness of the morning. Until, back at her place, Serena insisted on sleeping on the couch and leaving her bed to Alice. She was too restless, she said. Didn’t want to disturb Alice’s sleep. Only when Alice got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, every light outside the bedroom was on.

She flew home at the end of the week with a promise to keep in touch, to visit soon, to make up for the distance. Promises that rang hollow. Serena had been pulling away from her since the festival and for as much as Alice told herself the other woman was just busy with her work, the familiarity of an empty bed and the weight of things unspoken nagged at her. Something had happened that night. Something that Serena wouldn’t — or couldn’t — tell her.

They called each other once or twice a week. Serena came to New York just before Christmas, and they walked around Central Park holding hands and kissed under the snowfall. But back in the apartment, Alice found her in Alan’s old office in the middle of the night, mumbling to herself about spiders and darkness until Alice clicked the light on. Sleepwalking. She’d been dealing with it on and off for months and her doctor thought it was stress related. After that night it didn’t happen again. Or at least, Alice didn’t notice.

Time between calls stretched. Texts were less and less frequent. Alice went back for the arts festival the following year, with none of her own work to show but a lingering desire to support someone she cared about. Still — this time she stayed in a motel. But they talked like old friends and Alice stayed over for a night when it was offered. Serena had blown up and framed one of the photographs Alice took of the desert the year prior, and it hung in her living room between the windows.

Weeks turned to months, and then a year. Then two. Then another and another, and Facebook revealed that Serena got married. A Vegas elopement, just her and a woman Alice had seen before in infrequently posted pictures. She sent a card and flowers, received a thank you text and a vague suggestion of meeting up the next time they were in New York.

That was the last she heard from Serena.

[these-detestable-hands]

Uh, I have zero idea about your OCs, their backgrounds, the plot that's waiting for them, stuff like that... But I do love hearing a friend telling me stories, so!

Tell me about your most beloved OC at the moment!

What do they do?

What's their background?

What's their philosophical stance regarding their own life, or the society they live in?

What are their traits, and what trait would you think is the most trademark of them?

What was their biggest regret?

What is their ambition? What sort of person did they wanna be, and are they on their way to it, or is something getting in the way?

What is their role in, uh, whatever story/plot you have in store for them?

If someone (another character) were to be antagonistic toward them, what would be the impetus that caused that antagonism?

What got them excited lately?

What inspired you into creating them? Is it a character from another story/fiction? A person from real life? Your own life experience?

This should make an interesting read!

I love you thank you for asking questions omg. I don't fully understand all of them so I'll answer as best as I can.

1. What do they do?

Ione trapped her son in a fantasy winter hellscape. As for job then idk. Her daughter Delilah is a kindergarten teacher and she destroys the portals that Ione made. Augustus is Ione's son and he's the king of a country called Sletan. He hardly interacts with his bio family in canon but he does kill a bunch of evil artificially created monsters :3

2. What's their background?

Ione is an African American/English woman born and raised in England in 1963. Idk much about the English school system but she's fairly average. She married a man named Gary at 22 then they left and moved to Spain when she 23 and they had a son called Augustus a few months later. Two years later they had Delilah.

Augustus and Delilah both had fairly normal childhoods until 1996. Augustus (age 10) was put in that fantasy world and was from then on tutored. Delilah was obviously horribly messed up by this and took time off from school a lot and fell behind with her education but she caught up again by about age 14.

Gary never recovered and ended up retiring early and still in the present (2021) is extremely depressed and has nightmares about Augustus' "dissappearance". Gary has always been a very normal guy and he never knew about the portal stuff Ione had going on. He loved his kids a lot so it's obvious that losing one would kill him. He still has a good relationship with Delilah though, this isn't some bs like with Rodrigue and Felix.

3. What's their philosophical stance regarding their own life, or the society they live in?

This question confuses me a lot but I'll try my best to answer!

Ione honestly sorta has a god complex. Idk how she feels about the Spanish government.

Delilah is fairly normal as well but still feels guilty about Augustus' dissappearance because the lie Ione told her could have been prevented if Delilah had gone with him. Gary is similar.

Augustus does like his life how it is now cause his adopted parents agree that Ione was absolutely horrible and they treat him well and he resents Ione. He often has feelings of doubt about if his adopted parents truly love him cause his own birth mother didn't, so who's to say some random people do? These feelings of doubt slowly go away during the story though cause not only does he have a daughter of his own but he also ends up loving a crap ton of people. He's a very loving guy and he just realizes his mom was just evil and it is not difficult to love people with your entire heart. As for the society? Ough he's the king lol.

4. What are their traits, and what do you think is the most trademark of them?

Ione is a smiley type of villain. She's very calm and smiles while killing you kinda person. Her defining trait is that she has a very keen perception of time and objects. She can accurately guess the amount of peas on a pile or how long has passed since she ate lunch down to the minute without looking at a clock or even the placement of the sun.

Delilah is very sweet. She's an artist and is extremely good at teaching things to others but can easily get a bit caught up in leadership roles and forgets to listen to the group she's supposed to be helping. Her trademark trait would probably be her patience cause she's so incredibly patient with everyone. For a large chunk of the story, she's forced to work with this obnoxious guy Salvador and she is very good at keeping her cool, even when he says something horribly mean or refuses to help. Don't worry she does get to lose her temper and yell at someone and set a building on fire at the end of the story.

Augustus is a sorta calm and calculating type, think a bit like Seteth or Selena. He loves people a lot but isn't too great at showing it cause he's not huge on being affectionate lol, he often just says things like "I love you with my entire heart and I would be devastated if anything bad ever happened to you" in a completely monotone voice. His defining feature is that he's very very quiet. He does not talk a lot at all and when he does then he doesn't speak very loudly. He's changed a lot since I first made him but one feature that's been a constant is the fact that he's quiet.

5. What's their biggest regret?

Ione is probably getting rid of Augustus cause she doesn't care much for him but she doesn't like not being able to return to that world. She's really shallow and doesn't care much for her family at all.

Gary and Delilah are both that they didn't do something the day Augustus went missing because they think that they could have saved him.

Augustus' is probably that he didn't spend more time with his daughter, Julie, cause she now hates him and he thinks it's cause he wasn't a good dad (it's actually cause Ione ruined everything)

6. What is their ambition?

Ione and Gary don't have much of anything going on. Ione doesn't keep the portals to reach a goal, she mostly just has them for fun and out of curiosity.

Gary, again, is just really depressed and doesn't do much ever. He keeps a kitchen garden.

Delilah is happy with her life. She is trying to learn to play the harp though.

Augustus gave up on ever trying to go home so his main ambition is to kill the artificial monsters that terrorize Sletan.

7. What is their role in the story?

There's two separate stories, one featuring Delilah and the other takes place in Sletan.

In the Sletan story, the protagonist is this girl Melinoe but Augustus is a deuteragonist. Ione and Delilah never show up.

In Delilah's story then she's the protag alone with that obnoxious jerk I mentioned before Salvador. Ione starts out as a normal motherly character and ends as the antagonist. Gary is a side character who doesn't do much at all.

8. If someone (another character) were to be antagonistic towards them, what would be the impetus that caused that antagonism?

Ione gave away Augustus, when Delilah finds out then they become antagonists for each other basically.

Augustus is a king so probably just someone who wanted to kill him or start a revolution.

9. What got them excited lately?

Idk about Ione shed weird.

Delilah probably got excited about progress with learning the harp.

Augustus infodumped to his wife about some book he read.

I do not really know what you mean with this question.

10. What inspired you to create them? Is it a character from another story/fiction? A person from real life? Your own experience?

OOOOOOOOOO Augustus was inspired by King Rhoam from botw. At first he was supposed to be this super sweet and lovely old guy but then I did a 180 and made him evil like Lyon and Valter instead. After a while of making him worse and worse, I decided to make him nice again and he's now mostly inspired by characters like Seteth, the handler and Maximilian Morrel.

Delilah was originally heavily inspired by Edelgard but then she morphed into a normal person over time.

Ione?? Idk wtf happened. Originally I saw pics of a causal suit + crop top combo on pinterest then drew a character like that then decided she was actually evil and 60 and hates her kids.

Gary just sorta popped into my noggin one day cause I decided Ione needed a husband.

And while we're here, inspiration for Juno (Augustus' wife) was from Monica fe8. Julie was inspired by Neimi and Flayn. Salvador was unpaired by gaucho clothing, Zuko and Dimitri

[queeringdiedreiausrufezeichen]

Die Drei Ausrufezeichen Social Media AU

but it’s just them having Tumblr blogs, cause they would! (Might eventually add other social media platforms.)

-

Kim:

Main blog:

thecodesofcrimenovels

Blog title: Solving crimes and the mysteries of coding

Kim - Eng/Ger/Thai - She/Her - coding, writing, crime novels primarily

Die drei Fragezeichen side blog:

justusjonasesautism

Blog title: PB&J my beloveds

Kim - Eng/Ger/Thai - she/her - Die drei Fragezeichen side Blog, my main blog is: thecodesofcrimenovels

Franzi:

Franzi has one blog and one blog only.

thatqueermayhem

Blog title: I survived my ‘Not like other girls’ phase and figured out I’m not a girl at all

Franzi - Eng/Ger - She/He - D3F and Vorstadtwache mainly, occasionally Tatort though I haven’t really gotten into it yet, Queer stuff, Trans stuff, German stuff, just what ever - Trans af, your conservative family members worst nightmare - PB&J warrior first, Human second

Marie:

Main blog:

flowercourtprincess

Blog title: Aesthetics and T Girl Swag!

Marie - Eng/Ger/Fr - she/her, sie/ihr, elle

Die drei Fragezeichen side blog:

rockybeachesqueeryouthcentre

Blog title: Rocky Beach’s Queer Youth Centre

The three investigators/Die drei Fragezeichen Side Blog, Mainly fan art with occasional separate headcanon posts (all my headcanons are integrated into my art anyway haha), main blog is called: flowercourtprincess

Some posts they would make:

thecodesofcrimenovels

Had a writing workshop today and it was great! We had sort of free range to decide what exactly we wanted to do. The premise was to choose a novel of our liking, analyse the writing style and then imitate said style in a completely different genre. So we had some people using the flowery description heavy language of a fantasy novel to describe a mundane day in the real world. Or the creepy dispense of a horror novel used to describe a fluffy movie night between two friends. (The friends were watching a rom-com so it wasn’t like they could somehow match the vibes to the movie.) It was great!

#writing #my posts

Not to be a cliché Trans Girl, but gosh I love coding so much. It’s so much fun.

#coding #my posts

[D3A’s group chat right after Franzi sees that post.

F: Is your Coding club girlfriend finally back?

K: I have no idea what you are talking about and she is not my girlfriend.

F: Not yet. Which is why you should finally ask her out on a date. Or Marie should. You two are so badly crushing on that girl and neither of you have yet to actually make a move. If you take any longer I’ll do it for you.]

justusjonasesautism

Justus Jonas is half Thai! Cause I project onto him.

#Asian American Justus Jonas is actually so canon thank you very much #like what do you mean he isn’t canonly half Thai? #he clearly is #like have you not paid attention? #I will go down with this headcanon! #justus jonas #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #Asian American Justus Jonas is actually so canon thank you very much #<- previous tag #yesss #fight me #spreading the Asian American Justus Jonas agenda #justus jonas #d3f

| #Asian American Justus Jonas is actually so canon thank you very much #<- previous tag #yes! Exactly! Also -> #spreading the Asian American Justus Jonas agenda #funnily enough I’m working on an art piece of him right now #and this is fuelling my inspiration #I’m debating making him Blasian because I just want to #because I do like the headcanon that Justus is Black #but I don’t know yet #justus jonas #headcanon tag #reblog

The urge to write a whole ass essay on the racist stereotypes in the old books and the continued anti indigenous racism even in the newer ones, is so intense right now.

#racism in Die drei Fragezeichen #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #Do it!

The wish to listen to the early cases and the wish to not hear racist slurs and racism filled stories, currently fighting each other. Like please why can’t I just to listen to “Die drei Fragezeichen und das Gespensterschloss” without needing to mentally prepare myself for a bunch of racist stereotypes including the Z-word (the German version of the G-slur). Seriously…

#racism in Die drei Fragezeichen #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #yes it’s exhausting sometimes #also yes unusual reblog I know #not art #reblog

thatqueermayhem

See the reason I relate to Bob Andrews is because he is a trans fem surrounded by trans mascs while I’m a trans masc surrounded by trans fems. We mirror each other.

#he is literally so trans fem ahhh! #trans fem bob andrews #nonbinary bob andrews #bob andrews #d3f

| #I love trans fem Bob Andrews so much as a concept! #trans fem bob andrews #nonbinary bob andrews #bob andrews #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

| #and we love you very dearly! #trans fem bob andrews #nonbinary bob andrews #bob andrews #headcanon tag #reblog

Kelly Madigan my beloved!

#that’s it #that’s the whole post #kelly madigan #d3f

| #so true! #I love you Kelly Madigan #you are the best #kelly madigan #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

| #not something I typically reblog onto here but also yes! 100% #gosh I love the girls so much! They are awesome #kelly madigan my beloved #kelly madigan #not art #reblog

Kommisar Brockmeier is queer. Helmut Grevenbroich told me himself.

#I said what I said #kommisar brockmeier #vorstadtwache #helmut grevenbroich

Would y’all believe me if I said I saw Helmut Grevenbroich kissing a man?

#helmut grevenbroich #true story #I’m gonna tag this as #queer stuff #because I can

[Helmut Grevenbroich was in fact asked if he was okay with the post, before Franzi posted that.]

flowercourtprincess

Todays question is if I’m actually lesbian, AroAce or any of the mspec labels? Stay tuned for the answer. Yes, I’ve been listening to “fall in love with a girl” by Cavetown ft. Beabadoobee. Why are you asking? Blame thatqueermayhem for playing “worm food” on a loop.

#no matter what I’m queer af #if you have a problem with that kindly f^ off #just queer things #my posts #queer #aroace #lesbian #mspec #bi #pan #poly #omni

| Sometimes you gotta be a stereotypical trans masc, what can I say? 🤷 It’s not like y’all aren’t enjoying the songs.

#queer stuff #trans stuff #I love my girlfriends and I also love listening to Cavetown yes these two are related

Being trans is actually so great! Who ever told you otherwise was a big fat liar. Being trans is freaking awesome.

#trans is beautiful #just trans things #trans #transgender #transsexual #my posts #even though there are probably a decent amount of similar posts already floating around on here #I don’t care #you can never say it enough

| #This! #gosh I love being trans so much #reblog #trans things #trans #transgender

| #yes #queer stuff #trans stuff

The romantic tension of being taken care of by your friends after being hurt.

[private conversation after Kim and Franzi see that post.

Franzi: You get hurt and that’s your first instinct? Posting a vague post on Tumblr?

Marie: *shrugs*

Kim: Well, it’s vague enough to just seem like random thought with no real life implications.

Franzi: Seriously??? … What ever.

Marie: I mean people are reblogging it and agreeing.

Franzi: *looking at the post and reblogs* They are assigning characters and ships to it…

Marie: Well obviously.

Franzi:… I don’t even know how to argue with that.

Kim: Franzi. It’s not that serious. You are just stressed right now.

Franzi: Well we are in the freaking hospital after all!

Marie: Wanna hold my hand to feel less worried?

Franzi:… yes.

Marie: *looking at Kim* You too?

Kim: *nods and the three end up holding hands to calm themselves down*

(It’s mainly Franzi that needs calming down, but the others also appreciate it.)]

rockybeachesqueeryouthcentre

Jeffrey Palmer wears blond faux locs. (Cause I want faux locs right now, but I don’t have the time for an appointment and I just got braids done.) He would totally wear goddess locs, cause he doesn’t give a damn about “gender rules” and that’s all I’ll say.

#I’m working on a Portrait drawing of him right now and just head to share that headcanon really quick #jeffrey palmer #die drei fragezeichen #the three investigators #d3f #headcanon tag #my headcanons

| #uhh I can’t wait for the drawing! #and you are sooo right! #jeffrey palmer #d3f

| #jeffrey palmer #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

Unusual post for me but it needs to be said. I feel like the authors of “The three investigators” tend to fall into the “we were trying to be misogynistic but ended up accidentally writing something with queer energy” category quite a lot. An audio drama example: Switching out Kelly for Jeffrey in “Die drei Fragezeichen Das Geisterschiff“. Now you made it unintentionally queer, cause you so desperately didn’t want to include Peter’s canon girlfriend. Anyway thatqueermayhem and justusjonasesautism just had to listen to me rant about the misogyny in these books.

#not art #the way Kelly gets treated by the authors hurts sometimes #Kelly is such a darling and I love her #die drei fragezeichen #the three investigators #d3f #kelly madigan #rant sort of? #my posts

| #reblog #jeffrey palmer #kelly madigan #Die drei Fragezeichen Das Geisterschiff #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #yep #and Kelly always gets the short end of the stick #I love you Jeffrey #but Kelly deserves better #jeffrey palmer #kelly madigan #d3f

If I see one more post of someone claiming “The three investigators” doesn’t have misogyny/sexism, I’m gonna scream. Y’all can’t be serious, when these stories are littered with misogyny/sexism. Like I get it. You don’t want to admit that there are flaws in these stories you probably liked since you were a child, but for the love of it, stop it! They literally wrote out female characters, cause the audience supposedly disliked them. And you are claiming this series doesn’t have misogyny??? Well when there are barely any female characters chances to see misogynistic characterisations are rarer. (Psst they still exist. Like it’s not that the few female characters don’t fall into sexist stereotypes sometimes. And just because you don’t notice them doesn’t mean they aren’t there.)

#not art #rant #die drei fragezeichen #the three investigators #d3f #my posts

| #nothing to add here! #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

-

I was debating cutting the part of Kim mentioning the anti indigenous racism, cause D3A also has (at least) two instances of the I-word being used, but I decided against it, cause it’s something I think she would post. And I personally would like to believe that all the characters (also the characters from the D3F universe) would stop using it if they were made aware of the fact that it is a racial slur.

The only times I’ve seen people claiming D3F doesn’t have misogyny was when they where putting down D3A as so much worse. Arguing that D3F supposedly didn’t have misogyny while D3A had.

Slightly of topic, but I really do want to draw Jeffrey with goddess locs now. Ahh! He would look so pretty with them.

Is this shamelessy plugging some of my personal D3F headcanons? Yes. I don’t care.

Listen if I was immersed in the Miss Marple books, I would have also added posts about that. I am how ever not at all immersed with the stories. (I wish I could do Franzi’s love for the character justice.)

(Planning on drawing this in the future. Don’t know when yet. I don’t know how to do these fake screenshots of social media accounts.)

[bereft-of-frogs]

6, 7, 17 for the fanfic asks

tag thing 3/3

I believe this was from this list, though my answer is super late

6. Have you written any fanfictions featuring OCs? If so, elaborate!

I actually have a repository for my Star Wars OC fics now. Hoping to put some more in there to fill upcoming whumptober prompts, it was kind of inspired by the animated short series Visions, in that it could kind of bend the rules of canon and not have to have anything to do with the main narrative. A good exercise in character development, I think. There are a couple upcoming OCs (‘dark ocean’ has one main one that helps out our MCs and I have this whole long 4 part series planned about a serial killer that spans 40 years, and while 3 parts feature canon characters, the 4th will, in theory, be almost all OCs) and I feel like most fics have to have at least 1-2, right?

And I'm kind of sad that it’s unlikely that I’ll ever finish the ‘Nordic noir’-style fic that was supposed to be the continuation to my main AU series, because Astrid, my first and most beloved OC, was going to make a comeback and play a slightly larger role. She is my most beloved because I was actually really nervous to include her because 1) past experiences especially from my former fandom days back in the 00s made me wary of OCs, especially female ones, 2) she had to deliver a lot of exposition, 3) it was exposition on a sort of controversial topic, 4) yeah I was kind of using her as a mouthpiece for my own ideas about said controversial fandom topic. So I was super nervous but she was well-received and that gave me a lot more confidence to write more OCs into fics.

7. What’s a troupe you love to write?

I am assuming this is supposed to say ‘trope’ but you know me I love an ensemble (though also ensemble casts can be so hard to write). Jk, yeah tropes, idk I like a whole range of hurt/comfort tropes, that’s definitely where I’m most comfortable. Magical exhaustion/magical consequences, always fun. ‘There was only one bed’, classic. I feel like I keep having things with ghosts in them, don’t know if that counts as a trope. ‘___ as death/grief metaphor’. I also keep writing about nightmares, so much that I had to have a little talk with myself on this current rewrite about nightmares and cut like 70% of them.

17. Are there any writers and/of stories that you consider an influence?

I think early writing inspiration came from Tamora Pierce, particularly her Circle of Magic series (see previous post about books that have stuck with me). Definitely turned me on to the idea of like, magical found families. Tamsyn Muir I feel like I have a weird relationship to because there’s a part of me that’s like…mad I didn’t think of it first but definitely once I got over that she’s for sure inspired me to just go so much harder on the death metaphors and the descriptions of corpses, so that’s fun. I’m trying to remember how I filled out this question for NaNoWriMo way back in the day…idk I think American Gods is an influential single-story for me. I can’t think of any other big authors but also in terms of fandom writers who influenced me, I’ll admit to being influenced to loving long, plotty Star Wars fics by ruth baulding, the only reason I still have an open fanfiction.net account, and when I was getting back into writing fic around 2018 or so, I was both inspired and encouraged by @veliseraptor so thank you so much <3

Ok, I have to go clean my apartment now, feel free to send any other questions from this list or from the other ask game thing (see tagged thing 1/3), and I will answer them when I return!

[hadescavedish]

A very quick meta about military culture influences on Callan characters

(First of all I am not British, I will probably make mistakes. And secondly: this is not very formal, but I will do my best to make it clear, also I omitted the part of quoting American movies about war veterans, the way military culture brainwashed soldiers is universal though.)

Callan:

How did he start to experience military culture: To be noted the main character Callan was what we call nowadays "the silent generation"--- the group of children that growing up through The Great Depression and WW2 (in his case he had gone through the second Blitz attack and lost both his parents in result). So war had always played a big part in his life--- I think before ever meeting a war, he would have been always a historical nerd of Napoleonic war era (because it would make more sense if he had always liked soldier models, in the Red File the creator James Mitchell wrote for the TV guide that Callan joined Green Howards as a young adult over Royal Engineer, which is Duke of Wellington's regiment, it would have always been his dream to make him give up normal and ordinary life). But actually experiencing WW2 in a traumatic way made him even more wanting to participate in a way that he deemed positive: if liking Napoleonic war was about glory and mystery, then the nightmare of WW2 would be finally having a chance to "fight for one's country, defend for one's beloved"

Was he a patriotic person in general? I would say he had been very patriotic before season 4's events (particularly the encounter with Irish-Russian spy Richmond). But the general culture influences on war history (the delusion that human beings, the individuals, ever had any control over their own action in the grand picture) or WW2 only did half of the work, the actual experiences of participating Malay war (which you could argue that is actually an imperalist involvement but common citizens are only pawns) made the final movement that forging his mind into the system.

Does he always like the military system: I think he grew to hate it (but his speciality is so shaped into it that makes it inseparable, he onlys knows how to kill, that is the thing they ever taught him) but I think as a young adult he had possibly been hoping of the glory and excitement the history books had granted him (I don't know any actual British textbooks in 1940s or 1950s, but I know model soldiers were such a big thing at the time, there are several old visual documents about it in 1960s). He started to hate it when he realised war doesn't treat individuals as human beings, politicians and the upper class think of them as numbers and targets to remove. The thing he hated most is the reality that the military system especially the British military system was just an embodiment of his lifelong tragedy--- the inequality of the society (British officer's ranks in tradition must be bought, the rule was abandoned in 19th century, but before 18th century centuries they recruited more people from the middle class and beyond--- they lowered the standards because of the increasing need, also Callan is from non commissioned officers, which is the so-called “other ranks” and it is not actually officers at all, because he didn’t go to military school and he didn’t have anyone in the family that would benefit him in any way. This is also one of the points I will discuss in Meres' part, also this is the main reason he dislikes Hunters, Meres, or other people that had been privileged by default before ever knowing them better).

Meres:

Hierarchy: Meres' full background is not revealed too much in the canon but we can guess he is from upper-class society, his dad very likely has a seat at the House of Lords (Richmond's words aren't 100% true, but there is some making sense, others aren’t) I don't suppose he is their family heir (otherwise he won't end up here). But being Eton means he had been taught to obey the hierarchy since day one, (tw: slightly homophobe slang but not actually bc it is only the similar word not really the same thing) fagging is one of the unwritten rules that was once popular in British public school (something like American prep schools, roughly) which was established because they wanted children to obey the society's rules from day one, to serve, to submit to someone senior, someone higher ranks, someone better born. 

Brigade of Guards: I have watched several videos recorded in the 1960s about the Coldstream regiment (Tumblr is a weird place that doesn't allow linked posts showing up in tag search, but these videos you could easily find in Youtube search), you will have a summarised display of what it like being in the place Meres had once been in early 60s, they have extensive and most difficult training in the place, and up to this day, to some people, it is still considered a "glory for one's family to serve the queen" in this place (bc well, they are like a very very privileged group of army, so to speak, but I don't really believe of any glory in military culture). It has not the same extent of influence Callan's experiences had on a person, but it still is a 'brainwashing' (let's call it by its name to make matters simpler bc being in any formal organization you have to be persuaded by their mantra to do the collective thing). Combined with this and the experiences of being in public school (without fagging itself, public schools still used to be a very inhumane place for posh kids, because it isolated people from real society and it also encouraged the hierarchy), it made Meres basically very submissive to his boss, of course, you will notice that in particularly first two seasons.

I stressed that Callan's belief in his own people (his patriotism) and Meres' submissiveness to his superiors were traits more common in early episodes because Callan was so tempted to run away and go freelance with a very KGB agent in the finale episode, and Meres finally snapped at Hunter every so often about some callous decisions. 

[rococospade]

Regarding my characterisation of Laurence, the First Vicar

Okay so anyone who’s had to talk with me for more than five minutes knows I have *a lot of feelings* on the First Vicar and while I’m going to try and keep this to stuff I can support via lore, that will almost certainly bleed over in here and I apologise in advance. I’ll try to stick to things I can support from canon.

Other notes: I will be referencing deleted content for this, and it is a long post because I have a lot of thoughts. So post under the cut, beware of spoilers, so on.

(As an aside, if you read my fics, dear god does this post have spoilers for those too, since a lot of my fic world building is me trying to piece lore together!)

@fishbowlcarnage thanks for getting me to write this. It’s incomplete and unfinished, and I’ll definitely want to add to it as I play through DS3 and the Fishing Hamlet in BB, but I hope it’s enjoyable as it is. Also thanks to Marie for gently pushing back on my assertions so I have to find a basis for them, and to every lovely person who’s chatted with me about lore and this strange and beloved game.

General notes:

Most of this is predicated on a handful of things:

Laurence was probably a Choir member. He stole the Choir from Byrgenwerth, and it’s noted that the church uniforms are based on Byrgenwerth’s. And if you look at it, what does it most closely resemble? Willem’s clothes. So either Willem had disciples’ outfits designed to look like less fancy versions of his, or else Laurence chose an outfit that visually conveyed “I’m taking your job” for himself and his own minions. 

Laurence was not from Yharnum: it comes up in deleted lines that the person who founded the Healing Church was a foreigner. While that line was cut, we do still hear the huntsmen blaming foreigners for their plight, and while I will admit that nationalism and xenophobia are a big part of Bloodborne it would make an… interesting sort of sense if the Healing Church was actually headed by one. Also, Laurence and Willem have different accents to the rest of Yharnum, at least to my ear. I’m also a filthy American, so feedback on this point is very welcome.

Laurence was probably a combatant: this is probably my hardest argument to make because it relies on the most abstract points. Laurence is found with the Gentle Beast’s Embrace rune. That’s a combat rune. Even if he’s trying to heal the scourge, if we operate on the presumption that he did want to help people, and he found a rune that seemed to safely turn him into a stronger bestial form, don’t you think he’d take up arms if he hadn’t already? Aside from that, the clerics use a lot of blood. Now, @msoftserved has pointed out to me that that was probably a religious thing as much as a functional one, but I’m still fascinated at the idea that the clerics could somehow take enough blood to over a long enough period to become giant beasts without also being hunters (since hunters are noted for their extreme willpower, and being able to do things like force themselves to stay awake under the effects of blue elixir). I also suspect the clerics fought, since it’s noted that the Hunters of the Healing Church made the Hunter’s Workshop redundant, and the hunters we see from the Church are dressed like… clergy. I may add to this section later, as my brain is currently refusing to articulate my thoughts in any sort of useful manner.

Actually! Coming back to this, with something a little less tenuous: the Vicar’s Pendant has a blood gem inside for hunting beasts. Why would they have that if they weren’t actively hunting beasts themselves? It’s not on display, you have to break the amulet to get at it. So… if it were purely decorative, you’d expect it to be visible. And if it weren’t, one would expect them to have something support based. But no, it’s an attack up specific to beasts. Which to me implies two things: the amulet could be used for offensive casting/spells, and the owner of the amulet was expected (at least some of the time) to fight.

In addition to this, Gehrman also refers to the Clerics of the Healing Church as “the guardians” of Hunters, and cries out for Laurence to help him in his sleep. Even if Laurence was not a combatant, I found that to be a really interesting detail; it speaks to Gehrman’s belief in Laurence’s competence. Especially once you finish the game. He’s not crying out for a god to save him. He’s crying out for Laurence, and Willem. 

About Laurence’s personality:

I think it’s fair to argue he was probably charismatic. He managed to repeatedly amass a following; first at Byrgenwerth, where he stole Willem’s best students from under his nose (including Micolash, someone who seems to fundamentally disagree with Laurence on how to ascend humanity? Which is pretty wild in and of itself) but also convinced several major characters to help him, including Gehrman (who seems to have had heroic intentions, though he’s of course Not Okay because this is a Soulsborne game) and freakin’ Ludwig (first Church Hunter! First man to organise the hunts instead of having everyone do whatever with 0 coordination! And canonically stated to be from a long line of knights, which implies Ludwig was probably a noble or at least a member of the gentry, but signed on to work with this foreigner. 

Laurence was likely either ostentatious, or found the appearance of being so valuable: dude has a weird skull elevator and I’ve never been able to forget it. I thought it was weird when I found it but wrote it off as typical Bloodborne… until I read “fool me”, which pointed out that the elevator was probably, in fact, something Laurence either designed or commissioned. It was definitely way more expensive than just installing a ladder or stairs… But organisations thrive on symbols. And the Healing Church is rife with symbolic imagery, from the architecture to the decorations to the uniforms. There’s really no functional reason to have the members dress like they do, which means it was likely a case of needing to present a certain image or be immediately recognisable to the public. (On a loosely related note, the Church Giants wearing items from the Black Church Set is… kind of cute in a weird way. Who made the clothes? Who dressed them up? These questions haunt me.)

Laurence may have been capable of miracles or pyromancy: this one is a big stretch, but I’m going to bring it up anyway. Laurence’s attacks in his Cleric Beast form (specifically the ones that leave lava in their wake) resemble a pyromancy from the Dark Souls series. We also see patients from the Research Hall that cast miracles in the Hunter’s Nightmare. Seems like a jump to attribute miracles to Laurence from there, right? Well… the Vicar’s Pendant that Amelia uses to heal herself is noted to have been passed down amongst the Vicars of the Healing Church. Presuming she’s using the ‘heal’ miracle, then the pendant is apparently her talisman. She had to have learned the technique somewhere, and talismans in the Souls series aren’t unique to one caster — anyone with sufficient faith can utilise a talisman to cast miracles. So it stands to reason that if Laurence had the necessary faith, he could have wielded the amulet in the same way. 

Misc notes:

Willem was doing some horrifying stuff at Byrgenwerth. I’m kind of surprised more people don’t seem to address that? Byrgenwerth is the only area with the garden of eyes enemy in the main game. Those things are wearing patient gowns. “What we need… is more eyes” seems rather chilling in the light of that particular enemy, and its official name.

In addition to that, at least two of his prized students turned out to be… you know… insanely charismatic cult leaders. I’m talking about Micolash and Laurence, of course. What are the chances he collected two dangerous twinks that would betray him entirely on accident? Oh, but two’s a coincidence, right? Except… Gehrman. You know, the First Hunter. He was apparently rather attached to Willem too, since he calls him ‘Master’… so that’s… three students of Willem’s that decided, actually, let’s do this extremely morally dubious thing in pursuit of knowledge/power/good of mankind? Oh! And Gehrman amassed a following too, actually. The original Hunter’s Workshop. That’s… That’s definitely a pattern by now. 

The Gentle Beast’s Embrace rune grants reduced fall damage. I ran with the idea from there that cleric beasts (probably beasts in general) have an instinct common to both canines and felines — get the high ground. Now. This is also supported (as much as anything is supported) by where you find Cleric Beasts — the first one is sitting atop a roof over the great bridge, essentially the highest suitable platform in central Yharnum, while Laurence the first Vicar is sprawled dramatically in the arms of a statue over his altar in the Hunter’s Nightmare. So I tend to depict him perching in high places when left on his own, especially once he’s begun falling to beasthood.

[catboy-joyfriend]

river for the ask game :0

I don’t know them / don’t know them but they intrigue me / i hate them / i dislike them / would low key wanna fight them / they’re alright / i like them / i love them / fav character / would die for them / problematic fav / character I love to hate / character I hate to love / too pure for this world / literally on sight

Favorite thing about them: SHE'S SO SWEET BUT SHE'LL KICK UR ASS GOD I LOVE HER. also i love that her existence as a character is a conservative's nightmare <3

Least favorite thing about them: nothing she's perfect fuck u (Before she had her slight redesign it bothered me slightly that she didn't wear shoes but that's nothing against her or even Alex it's just that when I see a character who doesn't wear shoes I get worried their feet will get hurt)

Sexuality: Canon lesbian babyyy

brOTP: FLINT IS HER BESTIE I DONT MAKE THE RULES.

OTP: FLOWER GUARDEN MY BELOVED

nOTP: her romantically with any man obv. I also don't really like her with Diana or Lorelei it has weird age gap vibes

Other Ship(s): I ship her platonically with the whole h crew but not romantically with anyone other than Brook

Fave Line: She doesn't have any </3

Rando Headcanon: Her and Alchemy hang out together all the time. No boys 😌

Unpopular Opinion: uhhhhhhhhh idk <3

Song I Associate With Them: uh *checks ur playlist* american healthcare (glitzy)

Fav Picture Of Them:

[nautiscarader]

Miraculous New York

When I sat to watch this special, I didn’t know what to expect, other than some interesting joined battle between French and American superheroes. 

And instead I got, without a shadow of a doubt, the most mature and adult Miraculous story so far. it is a story I wished was done a year or two ago.

 Spoilers below, duh.

The first half of it is deceptively cutesy and naive, oozing with somewhat cringeworthy never-ending tale of Marinette denying to be in love with Adrien. Whether you like it or not, in my opinion it was too long, and could easily be cut by half. However, I suspect the creators wanted to bet on people who also never watched ML, so the first third is basically a crash-course in the show’s plot, and let’s face it, Marinette’s love quarrels are a bit of an ongoing theme.

That first half, however, introduced us to a new part of ML world we haven’t seen so far (excluding comics, which are non-canon, I suppose): superheroes in other countries. And arguably, USA is the birthplace of them, so it is no wonder that the country is positively teeming with them.

Some of them are parodies of superheroes from the two big comic book houses, with Majestia being an amalgam of Superman, Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel, Knight Owl and “his” sidekick Sparrow being a copy of Batman and Robin and Majestia’s android daughter, Uncanny Valley serving as a teenage Cyborg/Vision. But the few others are sparkling with originality, like the Door Man, who at first was incredibly laughable to me, but turned out to be the key (he he) to the entire story, and of course... the Hot-Dog Dan.

The entire depiction of American superheroes oozes with creativity to me, even if, as I’ve said, some of them are obvious knock-offs. Despite that they still retain a lot of originality and look as genuine superhero characters someone could have come up with for actual books, and not just for a gag.

The most important of them being the teen superheroes - Uncanny Valley and Sparrow, who are delegated to take care of French visitors, and their fight for their independence runs through the second half. 

We have also been introduced to a new idea: Miraculous in other countries. In this case, we are presented with a Native American, Eagle-inspired one that Hakwmoth is after (as well as whole new box by the end of it).       

The entire story revolves around trust and responsibilities, and what happens if one betrays and abandons those. With a few exceptions of slightly more mature finales, ML has never done anything that dark. Because once Chat Noir breaks the promise given to Ladybug, all hell breaks loose. With the apparent death of Uncanney Valley, and Hakwmoth getting his hands on said eagle Miraculous, a series of skyscraper-sized domino blocks began falling, culminating, of course, with American Superheroes betraying their own responsibilities and letting their power loose.

And what a lesson was it. Excessive power, militarisation, control over society, invasions of privacy, overpriced hot-dogs; all the nightmares that so many of us have to deal with are impersonated and imbued in heroes, figures we are supposed to adore and aspire to, showing that they are not immune to them.

The episode is a fantastic way to present a moral conundrum when to break restrictions, self-imposed or not.  

Hawkmoth’s plan was really, really smart. I often joked about him being Rita Repulsa from Power rangers, but here he rose to Lord Zedd’s level (at least from his initial run, as far as my memories go).

And it is up to the younglings, Uncanney and Sparrow to fight them, together with Ladybug and Chat Noir. Sparrow’s story was truly amazing here, mimicking, once more, story of Robin, Batman’s sidekick into a fully fledged (he he) superhero Nightwing. 

In a very weird sense, even though I am a comic book noob, I felt oddly connected to the story they presented there, alluding to an insanely long history of the medium, especially with Knight Owl and Sparrow’s legacy of passing the baton; for the very first time I didn’t look at it as a “sliding time scale”, but as characters that really could have lived in American’s collective consciousness for hundreds of years.

However, the most important aspect of the special is how Ladybug and Chat Noir dealt with them abusing their powers and neglecting their responsibilities. 

This was the one aspect of the show I truly didn’t like. I understood why it was there - the magical “status quo reset” button that Ladybug wields was imposed to maintain the nature of a ongoing tv show. And here for the first time we see her powerless, dealing with enormous amount of guilt. Double so for Chat Noir. 

As I’ve said before, the show has many parallels to previous cartoon Astruc worked on, Code Lyoko. In the show, a group of kids were fighting a virtual reality monster whose powers bled into real world. They also had a magical button that would revert the world to the state from before each attack, like the Lucky Charm. But there was a catch: My memories of it are distant, but as far as I remember, half-way through they learned that using this button makes the villain stronger. And that provided a conundrum: do you let the havoc happen, endangering people’s lives, or do you let lay off your responsibilities, knowing the consequences will bite you in the longer game. 

it’s not much, but it was a very interesting concept for a kids’ show, I remember. 

I wished, I wished that if ML is borrowing so heavily from it, it would take it as well. And, well, it didn’t, for three whole seasons.

Only now we got a glimpse of something akin to that, a limitation to a superhero’s power, and a dilemma they had to face. And sure, there were some cases before but not to that scale, and for that truly chilling moments I am grateful.

...I am less grateful for the fact that the resolution of the Parisian disaster was very, very rushed. Maybe this is something that will be touched in the next special. 

“Miraculous New York” is a breath of fresh air that gives you a much needed, addictive ovygen shock, full of mature story and development of our beloved characters. 

Are we going to get similar level of storytelling in S4? I doubt it, but who knows? Only time will tell.   

[clansayeed]

Bound by Choice ― III.iii. Belief

PAIRING: OC x OC x OC (Valdas x Isseya x Cynbel) RATING: Mature (reader discretion advised)

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Choice ⥽

Before there were Clans and Councils, before the fate of the world rested in certain hands, before the rise and fall of a Shadow King ― there was the Trinity. Three souls intertwined in the early hands of the universe who came to define the concept of eternity together. Because that was how they began and how they hoped to end; together. For over 2,000 years Valdas, Cynbel, and Isseya have walked through histories both mortal and supernatural. But in the early years of the 20th century something happened―something terrible. Their story has a beginning, and this is the end.

Bound by Choice and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].

Note: Choice is the only book in the series not based on an existing Choices story. It is set in the Bloodbound universe and features many canon characters.

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Choice/series tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Some people spend their whole lives looking for something to believe in. They're lucky that they never had to.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Two months later…

Cynbel watches as Ambrose leans against the railing with hands braced on the cold metal. Colder sea spray lashes at their cheeks under the night sky but they pay it little mind. They have, perhaps, had enough heat and fire to last more than one mortal lifetime.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had such a fill in my life.” The American groans, and Cynbel actually feels bad for him.

“There is far more to this life than fighting someone else’s wars. Give it time — you’ll see why we were starving so.”

Together the man glance down to the depths below. Where the foam left in the wake of their ship fades pink from bodies already lost underneath the ocean’s current.

“If y’all eat like that every day I’m startin’ to get it.”

And true enough the last few weeks of travel have been positively lavish compared to the squalor of mine living. Even this limited food supply seems boundless when they remember the rot of starvation in their bellies. But that does not diminish how good it is — how good it feels to be, not unlike the sea, free.

Sayeed held up her end of the bargain, so it was only fair that Cynbel and Isseya do the same. The where of their journey did not matter so long as they were far from Virginia’s shores. The when was with haste — and for good reason.

With none left to lead them the remaining militia of the Order of the Dawn was made harmless. The comparisons of the sides were unfortunately fraught with similarities, some not even Cynbel could deny. As the Order had culled the Old Blood; the vampires who had survived centuries of their fruitless extermination attempts, so had the war turned in their favor. But with only the newly inducted left to lead them — and many with ties that bound them to communities, to families; to vulnerability — their ‘holy mission’ was made second to the more pressing matters of the not-so-United States.

He couldn’t care less about the Godmaker’s plans now, whether he chooses to retaliate against the Trinity’s desertion of him or not. Two decks below his beloveds pass the boring hours with card games and wistful possibilities of when they make port.

He needs nothing else.

Now imagine their surprise at the familiar sight catching the last call to board. His battalion may now be nothing more than ash but there was no reason for Ambrose to turn and run. In fact Valdas had a strong inclination to name him Gaius’ spy and cast him overboard.

With only a matter of days before they find Europe on the horizon… he actually can’t remember why they didn’t.

A life for a life.

In between shuffled decks and lavish feasting and their halfhearted attempts at breaking through the hull by way of their beds, though, the Golden Son has found himself fond of the man. Older in appearance and admittedly wise beyond his years — but still so very new to what this life could offer—would offer, now.

Habit makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand when Ambrose reaches inside the breast pocket of his coat; eases when he sees the tinder box and cigarettes rolled with absolutely no skill whatsoever in his hands.

Ambrose sparks the tinder. Cynbel swallows down nightmares of hellfire. They share a moment of quiet.

“I should have said this before…” Cynbel begins around a mouth of ill-tasting smoke, “but when we make port this — our camaraderie — will come to an end.”

He’s come to expect the long silences in between answers, so much so that it barely feels like any time has passed at all when Ambrose finally does speak.

“I thought as much.” And doesn’t that just make the older vampire laugh.

“Two millennia and only now do we meet someone who understands. Shame and pity.”

“Oh I don’t, not even a lick.” The eyes that meet his, though, contradict Ambrose in every way. Eyes that seem sure and solid despite the rocking beneath their feet. So he continues.

“You three — whatever you’ve got there is… it’s dangerous.” So they have been told, and by lesser men. “But through this whole fight I’ve seen men Turn, live, and die over and over again without even a drop of the conviction you two’ve got for your Maker. I’ll be frank with you, Cynbel. It’s unsettling.”

“It’s love.”

“Is that what love is? I’m really askin’ here. Because I sure as hell ain’t ever felt a love like that. Not in this lifetime or the one that came before it.”

Just like that the conversation takes a turn for the uninteresting. Cynbel draws his attention out to the midnight horizon, where one can’t tell the sky from the sea. “All the more pitiful are you, then. I will not justify what we are for your whims, Ambrose. Not for you, not for Sayeed, not for anyone.”

“You misunderstand.”

“I doubt that.”

“It ain’t your strange-like love I’m interested in, but rather what it makes you.”

The only reason he’d offered Ambrose company was because Iss’ refused to play anything other than rummy, and he’s terrible at rummy. And standing here he can’t help but wonder which is more of a torture.

“You and Isseya nearly died for him. And I think you would have should that have been what you needed to do.”

“Of course we would have.”

“And I couldn’t understand why — not really. Why you’d risk yourselves, risk anyone else, but not him.”

Cynbel doesn’t bother hiding the venom in his answer. “Because He is more than they were. More than Iss’ or myself could ever hope to be. That is the kind of devotion He inspires. Would you not do the same for Augustine? Or your First, to make a finer comparison of it.”

The same long pause — but this one drags out. Thin, fragile between them and quickly unraveling at the seams. Then—

“No.”

“Then you’re wasting time searching for answers when you would not even recognize them when found. We would have died for Him — of course. But that is merely part of it. That is what the rest of the world sees and takes us to be entirely. We are more than the death we bring and would bear for Him.

“No one seems to realize that we lived for him. Just as fiercely — perhaps even more so because we could have died, but we did not. That is what has driven our lust for living; not that we would fall to our knees and take the sword with our necks for Him, but that He gives us the strength to take the sword in hand and say ‘no more.’”

Perhaps it would be nice to be understood for once. For the ages not to seem so ignorant and dull as they always have because one person — just one, that’s all it would take — realizes their love is not about sacrifice. But that it is about survival.

In silence Ambrose takes out another cigarette, more flint. Offers him one but Cynbel declines with a small shake of his head. Four weeks he’s been able to put the events of that day behind him as he had always done. Left it in the past and continued on to a future where they need not worry about being apart.

Four fucking weeks, but that’s all.

Ambrose keeps the cigarette between his lips when he speaks again. “I lived human for forty-some years. Spent my whole young life livin’ just as most did; you understand,” —he marched the breadth of those states just the same, he understands quite well— “and Turnin’ gave me more than just the power to free myself. It gave me — well, I thought — somethin’ to believe in.”

“Immortality?”

“The First.” The way he says her name is wistful enough to strike up a curiosity in Cynbel, much like the small flame struck up on his tinderbox.

Wistful, and no longer so reverent.

“Won’t say I’m the only one, either. There were a lotta boys like me who heard about the First Vampire who rose herself up from false judgment, from bein’ put in chains on another’s lies, and not only struck her enemies down but wanted to make a place where all like her were just as free.”

They are words that draw Cynbel back to Charlottesville, to the barn and Ambrose with his little box of ashes and his little gathering and his little words of worship and meaning in their comrade’s death. Strange that the man from then is the same one who stands before him now.

“Faith does wonders in times of strife.”

“It did — ‘til I heard you two talk about your Maker, your Made-God.”

“And what has that changed in you, hm?”

“The first time I ever heard Augustine tell the story of the First Vampire he made sure we well knew that every death was a piece’a her power going home — just another drop to fill some vessel that would bring her back to save us.

“But you don’t think like that,” Ambrose says it like a revelation; like wool no longer being pulled over his eyes, “and it got me thinking about what exactly I’m keepin’ immortality for. ‘Cause I gotta say doin’ it for a love like that sounds a helluva lot better than staying around just so some day I can die for a myth.”

Cynbel narrows his eyes. “The First was no myth. She was very real.”

“I’m sure she was, Old Blood. To you and Isseya and even Valdas, probably. Just like she’s real to Augustine and Sayeed. But that’s all two thousand years gone now. Who knows if she’ll ever come back, or when. That makes her pretty myth-like to me.”

What does one say to that? He may have propositioned Ambrose for this their night of feasting with a bottle of cheap liquor in hand but it wasn’t nearly enough to bring this kind of philosophical debate out of him. Yet it’s affirming in a way—not that any of the Trinity would seek affirmation for themselves, for their devotion to one another—he didn’t quite expect.

“I honestly can’t tell if you’re trying to confess your love to me or not.”

“Ha!” Ambrose laughs so hard his cigarette tumbles into the sea not half-finished. Deserves it. “In your dreams. Though I’ll start rackin’ up a tally seeing as that’s the second time you’ve propositioned me.”

“You’re being terribly rude. And it’s a terribly long swim back to the colonies.”

But the other man just shakes his head. “Truth be told no one’s ever let me ramble on this long about anythin’. Ended up a little off the tracks.”

“A little?”

“All I’m saying, Cynbel, is you and yours —”

“The Trinity, respect your elders.”

“— yeah, sure. Whatever you call yourselves—that kind of devotion can be inspiring to my kind of folk. A lot more than prayin’ on ‘maybes.’ What was that thing, the one Isseya said in the caravan.”

“Which — oh, while she was eating your man for insubordination?”

There’s a clatter behind them and both men turn towards it. They had found themselves so deep in debate that neither took notice to the young couple stretching their legs under the moon. To the young wife who looks aghast and sullied just for hearing the words and to her young husband suddenly trying to pull her to some imagined safety.

Cynbel and Ambrose take the same moment to watch them scurry along before they resume. A needed break in the tension.

He remembers it of course. Clear as the daylight that had struck them down. Even in their desperation and fear for Valdas’ fate it was hard—literally—not to hear such things from her bloodied teeth and find himself aroused.

“‘I choose to believe in a God who walks beside me. Who will answer when I call.’”

Ambrose nods. “Strange and, pardon my French, fuckin’ insane as she was then, that’s the kind of stuff gospels are made from.”

“So you’re proposing, what,” Cynbel’s disbelief is obvious, “The Gospel of Valdemaras?”

Silence. Real, non-hesitant silence. The kind of silence that forces Cynbel to face the man for answers and finds them in a resolution unfounded in those strange, dark eyes.

Well… one person finally understands. If only he knew what that means.

[thedeaditeslayer]

Bruce Campbell on Austin hipsters, signing an urn of ashes and a favorite scary movie.

If you don’t recognize the name, surely you recognize the chin.

Actor Bruce Campbell is best known for playing Ash, a reluctant slayer of demonic zombies in longtime friend Sam Raimi’s cult classic “Evil Dead” franchise. For almost 40 years, he fought back the armies of darkness in three films and a Starz TV series, “Ash Vs Evil Dead.” After the show ended last year, Campbell said he’s retiring from the role.

The actor’s had a wild career: playing Elvis in 2002′s “Bubba Ho-Tep,” cameos in all of Raimi’s “Spider-Man” movies and a long stint on USA Network’s “Burn Notice.” Campbell has a new memoir out, “Hail to the Chin: Further Confessions of a B Movie Actor.” He’s also coming to Austin’s Paramount Theatre for “An Evening With Bruce Campbell,” which will feature a screening of 1992 film “Army of Darkness,” on Oct. 23.

Below, listen to our conversation with Campbell on this week’s episode of I Love You So Much: The Austin360 Podcast, or read an edited transcript, which has been condensed for length and clarity.

American-Statesman: So, you’re going to be at the Paramount Theatre in Austin on Oct. 23. I saw you tweeted about the low-ticket alert. Have you been to Austin before, and did you know that Austin loved you so much?

Campbell: I’ve been to Austin 400 times. Austin’s a very cool place.

Every state, even if it’s a squaresville state — because most of Texas is squaresville, let’s not kid ourselves — Austin is not. It’s the hipster hideaway, the hipster haven. Every state has a place where hipsters, gays, all kinds of groups go, and Austin is that one in Texas.

That is true. They call us the blueberry in the tomato soup.

(laughs) And you have bats! You have lots of cool bats.

We do have bats. If we had more time, I would tell you how I think the bats are kind of a scam.

Oh really, a bat scam? It’s a bunch of guano?

Yeah, it’s a bunch of guano. It stinks.

OK, well I don’t need to ruffle any bat feathers.

What should we expect from an evening with Bruce Campbell?

The unexpected. These things will go in whatever direction they go in. It’s “Army of Darkness,” I think they’re showing.

It’s fun to come and make fun of a movie that’s 400 years old and enjoy the current relevance of it, or not. You know that movie bombed at the time, but it has flourished in its afterlife. That’s mainly why I still enjoy milking it. A, because it was such a pain in the ass to make; B, because it bombed and now it’s considered, you know, it’s been on American Movie Classics. It’s aged pretty well. It’s worth taking around. Now I get to show it to the new generation, the new people.

And I think some people paid a little more to get a photo and a book. I’m there, honestly, selling books. It’s book sales disguised as an evening with Bruce Campbell.

I’m glad you brought up the book. This is round two of the memoir ride, is that right? Because you wrote “If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-List Actor,” in 2002.

It is, it’s the sequel.

It’s technically part two of the trilogy. The final confessions will come 15-ish years from now. Mid-70s. Feet will be up on the porch, kind of deal.

What was different about this go around?

It’s the mature version of my career, when you start to say no to (expletive). Start to do more of your own stuff and learn what works and learn what doesn’t work. More foibles. More tears and triumphs. I’m reading a George Harrison book right now. Even incredibly famous people, holy (expletive) man, they’ve got ups and downs like crazy. Like even a guy like George Harrison can completely flame out on a tour, his 1974 tour.

He couldn’t even sing. He had lost his voice for the entire tour, and there was no pulling out, no going back.

It’s spooky season. It’s October.

That’s right, it’s my payday season. That’s my Christmas.

It’s your nightmare before Christmas. You’re very famous and beloved for playing Ash in the “Evil Dead” franchise. I know you said when the Starz series went off the air that you were retiring Ash, but I also read reports that you might be producing another film in the franchise and you might be voicing the character in a video game. What can you tell us about your place in the “Evil Dead” world?

Producing, 100%. Just like we produced the Fede Álvarez 2013 (reboot) “Evil Dead.” We’re not really calling them sequels anymore. They’re just “Evil Dead” movies.

We’re going to do a modern-day “Evil Dead,” an urban one. Sam Raimi has hand-picked a talented young filmmaker that we will torment, into hopefully doing a good, scary job.

We think there’s a lot more stories to tell of completely innocent, unqualified people having to save the world. We think those are good heroes. We think the best heroes are the ones who have no skills whatsoever. Then the audience goes, “Well, how the hell are you gonna get out of this?” If you a Navy SEAL, you’d go, “Yeah, come on dude, wrap this up.”

If you were writing the list of Bruce Campbell’s scary movie canon, what are some movies you think people should watch?

The original “Exorcist.” ... It was a great premise, I thought. A priest who���s doubting his faith, OK, let’s have him do an exorcism. His worst nightmare comes true, because he’s not sure if he can do it. Again, unqualified!

I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of stories from people about what the “Evil Dead” movies have meant to them. What are some of the more touching stories, or more memorable?

I signed my first urn full of ashes to a guy who was dead — I signed it to him! Two or three friends brought him to me (at the recent Rock and Shock horror convention in Boston). ... I signed it to that dead person and then gave them their signed urn full of ashes.

It meant a lot to them, so that’s all that matters. The movies were something they all watched together, and now that person’s gone. And that person didn’t have a chance to say hi. Never got to meet me.

I know you got started with Super 8 filmmaking with Sam Raimi and your buddies. Nowadays, we have YouTube and every kid has a camera in their pocket. There are entire feature-length films shot entirely on iPhone. What are your thoughts on the democratization of filmmaking?

I think it’s fantastic. I wish the hell I had an iPhone when I was 18. We would’ve burned the chip out of that thing.

But what it doesn’t change is the ability to tell stories. Just because you’ve got an iPhone, you’ve still got to tell a story. It can be whatever story you want, but it still challenges you to create something, that you tell a story from A to Z. The old days tended to weed out the slackers a little bit. ... You had to really want to do it.

Well, Bruce this has been great. Anything else you want to get out there?

I look forward to coming back to Austin, because they appreciate the arts. Some cities you go to because you have to, and some cities you go to because you kind of want to at the same time.

[mariposalass]

Deep Pain, Deep Sorrow

Summary: The day he died the first time has come, and Philip is having nightmares of reliving the events in his mind. It is not really great, not great at all.

Setting: Mari and co.’s house in Daly City, California, present day midnight; Weehawken Dueling Grounds in Weehawken, New Jersey and the Church family house in New York City, New York, November 20-24, 1801.

Notes: Written up in the last minute in commemoration of RL Philip Hamilton’s death by gun dueling on this day 218 years ago. There are Hamilton musical spoilers and mentions of death, guns, & blood loss along with slight mention of alcohol & hate speech against Alexander Hamilton: if you’re not comfortable with any of them, then skip this and finding something more cheerful instead. Although the ending doesn’t end on a sour note though… Also tagging @husband-of-lucoa​ since I’m basing this on a RP we had on Discord with Marina’s old life dilemma before as a main theme.

Tags: character death, mention of guns, salty language, mention of blood and blood loss, existential crisis, Defying Time, Renewed Potential, Hamilton: An American Musical, Hamilton spoilers, implied mention of alcohol, hate speech, George Eacker bashing (if this is a thing), real life history

It all started with a speech, a goddamn speech on the Fourth of July nonetheless. Bloody Eacker had all the nerves to bash his father like that: no respect to the man who had to work hard from a rough life of illegitimacy and having one parent died & another far away to help bringing a nation out of the shackles of Great Britain’s control, in front of a bunch of people wanting him dead literally or otherwise, poor Theo’s figuratively blind and ambitious father included. Surely, if that fool had known the man personally much longer, maybe it have been less abrasive, but no, he was a foolish twat. 4 months had passed since that slanderous speech and he & an old friend, Stephen Price, had confronted him, both younger men being under some alcohol for some reason, in the Park Theater about that rancid work of words. A verbal fight has borne out of this confrontation and the final straw came in the form of that bastard calling him and Stephen ‘rascals’, which had the young men to challenge him in a dueling match.

Back then, most men, even the smartest and most noble of the lot, wouldn’t simply settle things in a calm and logical manner; with pride on the line, they dealt arguments with small death machines, guns loaded with bullets that could spell death to the unfortunate person on the other side. Eacker would take on Price first a day after, then him on the next day. Four shoots were heard across in Weehawken, but no one died that day. The next day came, and it was him against the foolish twat; with some advice from his father, he had started it with a delope, throwing his first shoot, a move that would ultimately cost him life. Eacker had done the same, for a fool like him, it too was a smart move then.

A minute later, neither one dared to make a move, but then, Eacker aimed for him and shot him above the right hip and into the left arm; he did shot back, but the bullet was useless. The fired bullet from Eacker’s gun was lodged to his arm, spasms came in involuntarily. Everyone was wondering and panicking while Eacker was blindly soaking in this false victory, yet he knew that the victory that fool was enjoying is fleeting and was trying his best to remain calm and collected as Death is slowly arriving at his doorsteps and he was bleeding profusely. Soon, word was spread of the duel and he was then rushed to Aunt Angelica and Uncle John’s house in the city center; Angelica, while still shocked by her nephew’s misfortune, wrote that his attitude during this trying time was unbelievably remarkable for a 19 year old nearing Death.

Horrified by the news of what Eacker did to his firstborn son and rocked by anxiety & worry like every responsible caring parent would, Alexander rushed to Dr. Hosack’s home to ask for medical help, only to learn that the good doctor was already ahead of him at the Church residence by this time, staying with his family to recover before heading to his sister in law’s place. By the time he and Eliza reached him, he was paler than the moon itself, his face ashen from the near loss of blood, almost haggard in appearance.

The older Hamilton was in despair, sobbing and clutching Dr. Hosack by the hand & salted tears running down from his watery eyes, and the middle Schuyler sister, pregnant with her final child at 3 months, even more distraught than she would let on. Pulse was faint, but still heard by Alexander, and yet time was running out for his eldest son. They had stayed by his side all the night along, 14 hours and a confession of faith later however, Death has taken Philip Hamilton away from the world and from his family at 5 AM. Only 19 years old.

He had bolted up from his bed after so many flashes running across his mind, waking up screaming and causing his roommate Ahkmenrah to wake up from his slumber as well. His horrified screams could be heard all over the house, alarming everyone trying to get a good night’s rest. The former pharaoh was startled by the stressful look in his friend’s face and checked if he was okay. Philip honestly couldn’t hide how he was feeling, but didn’t explain it to him fully until everyone else went inside their shared bedroom.

Mari has never seen him this stressed out (beside crunch time on news article deadlines and getting confused over modern day things) in the 11 months they have been together, she had sat beside him and sheepishly held onto his hand as a calming measure. Kirby, saddened to see him in the state he was in, flew onto his bed and hugged him by the side of his torso.

“Hey, what’s happening to you, mate?” Harry questioned him, sensing that there must be something that left him this freaked out.

“Yeah, we want to know why,” Kairi chimed in.

“Come on, Philip, there is never a bad thing to admit it,” Mari gently reminded him, “We’re all ears for you.”

“Nightmares, those nightmares of that duel, agh!” he groaned in agony, “I never thought of reliving those awful memories of it all over again. I didn’t expect it to send my family on a downward slope after that. It was horrible to think about it in your sleep.”

“Well, you told us all about it many times for a long time now, still there is no need to hold back just because of some a-hole trying to peg down your dad like that and shoot you in return,” Mari sighed, not knowing what else to say in return and trying to fight back in tears from her eyes.

“Philip, please don’t feel bad about that. I know that it was very foolish of both you and that Eacker guy to try to shoot each other over a speech and just sort those issues out yourselves, but honestly, I didn’t think that it was all your fault,” Issa tried to reassure him, “Besides, he’s already dead and probably regretting that he shouldn’t harass your father with that speech in the first place.”

“Your father sounds like a very important man indeed, Philip,” Ahk pointed out, “You and your siblings must have looked up to him so much. He have done some messed up things in the past like that affair thing, yes, but never a horribly terrible person at all. I would have loved to ask him questions about how he helped out in freeing and growing this nation and independence with several like-minded men.”

“Poyo...” Kirby sniffed in sympathy as he cried.

“Look, Philip dear. The past is the past, we know that we couldn’t turn back the hands of time to stop it from happening, even the Doctor couldn’t stop it in a couple of cases whenever he goes time-traveling. But it doesn’t mean that you should never be defined by those events. You got this second chance in life and you can still enjoy life even more than ever, so you shouldn’t worry about everything the second time around,” Mari calmly reassured her dearest beloved before remembering something similar that had happened to some friends a year ago, “Funny enough, this whole situation you’re in is quite similar to Marina’s case: Dyl’s friends at the Fortress Team found her unconscious by the sea and couldn’t find anyone willing to pick her up and look after her until Dylan and Lucoa (and later Lady Palutena) stepped in and took her into their large family. Even she was struggling with recovering from her past mistakes for some time, but since you came back and befriended her, she doesn’t have to worry too much about them. She still gets nightmares once in a while, but beyond that, she is doing well.”

“Well, I suppose that I should follow her example then?” he meekly asked her and everyone else in the room.

“I don’t see a problem with that, Pip,” Issa smiled back in response, “She was the first person to reach out to you since you made that public reveal of your return, so she is likely to listen all about it.”

“Since you did in a way helped her recover from her past mistakes and get help from her folks, perhaps we can contact Dylan, Lucoa, and Lady Palutena by morning and see if she can drop by to help you out as well,” Harry added, “Or you can talk to me as well. I have been through a lot of trauma in my life as well, especially with the Killing Cruse, the Horcrux Hunt, the Battle of Hogwarts, and after I disown my canon realm for good. Seriously, if you have some nightmares again, just let us know: we’re all here for you and Mari is always there for you as much as you’re always there for her.

The kind support and reception he is receiving are too overwhelming yet welcoming as everyone gathered around him to give him a warm hug, Mari’s being the tightest of all. He never felt this much closer to home than with this unlikely group of people, animals, and what have you, but it is probably true in a way. It might tempting to ask Ahk to bring his folks back to the world of the living, but that would too much hassle and trouble to ask for. The whole 11 months felt like quite a wild ride for sure and yet it is the most fulfilling he has ever lived through, and he couldn’t ask for more than find his place among these strange modern day waters and have an amazing life with his new unlikely ‘family’ and his beloved darling.

The End

[upontheshelfreviews]

As a lifelong Disney fan I can’t understate how much of an impact Mickey Mouse has had on me. In childhood, he was an icon and friend – instantly recognizable, a source of joy and entertainment, a hero and a role model. I know this is making me sound like one of those cheesy sponsors reading off a cue card, but when you’re talking about a mouse, expect plenty of cheese to be involved.

In the spirit of Mickey celebrating his 90th birthday, I’d like to share with you my 20 favorite shorts he starred in. Why 20? Because I couldn’t narrow it down to ten and I like to go nine steps beyond as opposed to one.

There were only two rules I set while making this list:

Mickey is the main focus, or at the very least he must be given as much to do as the other characters he shares the cartoon with. There’s a lot of great shorts out there that has Mickey’s name in the title – Mickey’s Parrot, Mickey’s Circus, Mickey’s Birthday, Mickey and the Seal, Mickey’s Christmas Carol, etc. – or has his face in the intro that advertises it as his adventure, but upon watching you find they’re really about Donald, Goofy or Pluto or literally anyone else but him.

Shorts only, no segments from full-length films or direct-to-video works. This means no Mickey and the Beanstalk from Fun and Fancy Free or various bits from Mickey’s Once/Twice Upon A Christmas, but sadly no Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia. I thought of excluding any short that ran over the usual length of five to seven minutes to about twenty, but that made my job even harder.

Now before we get to the countdown, here are a few Honorable Mentions:

Mickey, Donald and Goofy in The Three Musketeers – If I were including full-length films on the list, this would be in the top five, bar none.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia – It would easily take the number one spot if it didn’t overlap with the #2 rule.

Plane Crazy – The mouse’s first appearance on the silver screen, though he wouldn’t make as quite a splash until his sound debut in Steamboat Willie a few years later

Orphan’s Benefit – One of my favorites as a kid. It made me laugh something fierce and still does, though a large part of it has to do with Donald and Goofy’s segments, hence why it’s only an honorable mention. Also, did you know that the color one we’re mostly familiar with is actually a remake of an earlier black and white version?

Mickey’s Delayed Date – Pluto and Mickey tussle for attention in this outing.

Haunted House – Spooky and atmospheric. Classic Disney nightmare fuel.

The Gorilla Mystery – Mickey plays Minnie’s white knight yet again as he goes to-to-toe with a dangerous gorilla.

Two-Gun Mickey – An American Tail: Mickey Goes West.

Mickey’s Surprise Party – After Minnie’s dog spoils the cookies she was making for Mickey, he saves the day with some shockingly transparent corporate sponsorship. At least I take comfort in the fact that Mickey’s favorite cookies are the same as mine.

Hansel and Gretel – Mickey and Minnie stumble upon a treacherous witch to the ominous strains of Danse Macabre.

Mickey’s Cabin – Mickey outwits Pete and his dimwitted cousin with a little reverse psychology when they hold him hostage in his winter cabin. Hilarity ensues.

Croissant – Mickey’s first short in the modern style proved you can’t keep a mouse on a mission down.

Yodelberg – Continuing with the previous short, it’s modern Mickey at its most fast-paced and stylish fun.

Shanghaied – It’s up to Mickey to save the day and Minnie again, this time from Pete and his dastardly crew of pirates.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol – Mickey’s first cartoon in 30 years has him slightly out of the spotlight, but still got him back in the public eye for good.

20. Mickey’s Trailer

This gets the lowest spot because the first half mainly focuses on jokes surrounding Donald and Goofy in their cool little mechanical trailer. But when it reaches the second half? That’s when things really kick into high gear. Goofy obliviously unhitches the trailer as they’re traveling through a perilous mountain pass and it’s up to Mickey to keep his vacation from reaching an untimely end. It’s amazingly suspenseful, with plenty of close calls from oncoming vehicles, trains and cliff sides. They still manage to sneak in a few decent moments of slapstick, but not at the cost of any of the tension. My only wish is that we could have seen Mickey and Donald’s response to Goofy’s cheerful “Well, I brought ya down safe and sound, a-hyuck!” at the very end. No doubt it would have been hilariously karmic.

19. Mickey’s Mechanical House

Coming from the Mickey’s Mouse Works/House of Mouse era of cartoons, we get a whimsical story in Seuss-esque rhyme, narrated by John Cleese no less. Sick of the inconveniences of his old abode, Mickey moves into a sleek totally automated house. He quickly learns, however, that easy modern conveniences aren’t what make a good home. Unlike the other cartoons made in this time, the art style goes for a 50’s retro look that pays homage to the likes of UPA. I especially appreciate the cameo from the iconic Mars robot from the famous Disneyland episode Mars and Beyond. That’s how you know this short was made by real old-school Disney fans. The story is charming, the gags are clever, and it earns this spot on the countdown.

18. Giantland/Gulliver Mickey

Yes, I know I’m cheating here due to this being a tie, but I found these two shorts to be similar enough that I felt they were both worthy of the same place on the list. Each one begins with Mickey telling a story to his…younger counterparts? Nieces and nephews? Godchildren? They all refer to him as “Uncle Mickey” and they all look like him so maybe they’re really…no, best not to think of the implications.

Anyway, Mickey makes himself the hero of each tale, firstly in the role of Jack in Jack and the Beanstalk (no doubt somewhat inspiring his future gigantic adventures in The Brave Little Tailor and Fun and Fancy Free), then of him being the giant washed up on the shores of Lilliput. There’s some good action all around, and plenty of creativity in showing the giant’s world, Mickey’s storytelling and how the Lilliputians attempt to subdue their captive.

17. Magician Mickey

Mickey’s putting on a magic show, but he’s constantly heckled by a disbelieving Donald. Little does the duck realize he’s messing with the Sorcerer’s Apprentice himself, and Mickey uses all his mystic powers to troll back at him. Even though it’s arguably Donald’s short as much as it is Mickey’s, he does provide the main source of the conflict, and Mickey does not hold back when providing some good old magical vengeance. He remains the perfect showman throughout, and the tricks he plays to get back at Donald are inventive and hilarious. I admit, I still crack up at the running gag where Donald attempts to go in one of his unintelligible tirades and spits out an entire deck of cards. Just goes to show you don’t mess with the mouse, especially when he’s in magician mode.

16. Steamboat Willie

Ah, the one that started it all. Well, technically it was Plane Crazy and The Galloping Gaucho, but Steamboat Willie was what really thrust Mickey into the limelight. It may be simplistic by today’s standards, but this short is nothing…short of iconic. It establishes everything you need to know about the character of Mickey Mouse – inventive, friendly, helpful, but not without a strong mischievous streak. Being one of the first cartoons to have fully synchronized sound certainly helps. It not only pushed the popularity of “talkies” but introduced the world to what would become one of the most recognizable characters of all time. How could I not include it on the list? I already wrote an entire article on its significance, so if you want to know more, feel free to go read it.

15. The Mad Doctor

When people talk about the darkest moments in Disney animation, there’s a reason why this short is often brought up. The Mad Doctor goes for straight-up horror, and pulls no punches. Mickey must work his way through a creepy castle to save his beloved dog Pluto before he becomes the next victim of the titular doctor’s dangerous experiments. There’s lots of shadows, spooky living skeletons, and booby traps galore that threaten Mickey along the way. It’s perfect fare for Halloween.

Without giving away the ending, it’s the kind I’d normally call a bit of a cop out, but I don’t see how they could have worked their way around it. This short was deemed so scary upon release that it was banned not only in the UK, but in Nazi Germany, which really says something. It didn’t frighten me that much when I was a kid, but there’s a pervading sense of dread that makes it unlike any other Mickey Mouse cartoon ever made. Its impact on the canon was strong enough that the Mad Doctor was made one of the main antagonists of the Epic Mickey video game. And getting to take him out after all these years is one of the most satisfying game moments you’ll ever experience.

14. Around the World in 80 Days

Now for something a bit lighter. Some of the best shorts made for Mickey’s Mouse Works and House of Mouse were the “Mouse Tales”, two-part adaptations of classic novels with Mickey and the gang filling in the roles. This is a simplified but still fun take on Jules Verne’s famous globetrotting adventure. Instead of a wager between high society gentlemen and a robbery caper mixup however, Mickey must circumnavigate the globe in order to claim an inheritance and save his orphanage. Goofy and a rescued native princess-turned-love interest Minnie (there’s no way around some of the more dated aspects of this story, is there?) help him along the way, but they also have to deal with a meddling Scrooge McDuck, who’d do anything to get his feathers on the fortune. They manage to squeeze in some great jokes, usually involving Mickey’s deadpan reactions to Goofy’s cluelessness. It’s a decent retelling that hits all the beats and will probably get kids interested in checking out the original story.

13. Ye Olden Days

Nothing like a good old-fashioned medieval romance to warm your heart. Humble minstrel Mickey attempts to rescue fair damsel Minnie when she refuses to marry foppish Prince Dippy Dawg – that’s Goofy’s early moniker to those not fluent in early Disney – and winds up engaging in a joust for her hand. Mickey and Minnie may not be the most fascinating couple in film history, but their earnest devotion to each other shows why their relationship has stood the test of time.

When I was rewatching this to see if it deserved a spot on this list, I was particularly impressed by how spirited Minnie was – she does not take her arranged marriage lying down, slapping the self-absorbed prince in the face while declaring “Never!” and fighting her captors every step of the way as she’s dragged to the tower as punishment. Plus, it’s her intervening on Mickey’s behalf that saves him from the guillotine and allows him to engage in trial by combat. Mickey, ever the underdog, uses his size and cleverness to his advantage, outdoing the prince in all his regalia with nothing but a spear, a suit of armor fashioned from a potbelly stove, and an intrepid donkey. I really don’t have anything to say other than this short’s simplicity and sweetness never fails to win me over.

12. The Pointer

An expertly animated adventure for Mickey and his loyal canine, even if the idea of the Mouse going hunting wouldn’t fly today. I just love Mickey and Pluto’s interactions; they remind me so much of me and my dog and the time we spent together (though let it go on record that I never have or most likely will engage in hunting for sport). This isn’t a case of the pet being smarter than the master like in future shorts, either. Those always aggravated me because of how they really dumbed down Mickey. Both are on equal footing here, and both get into equal amounts of trouble.

The moment where Mickey tries to talk his way out of an encounter with an angry bear is equal parts tense and humorous. It’s also one of the rare times I can recall Mickey attempting to use his own popularity to escape from a jam (“Well I’m, uh, Mickey Mouse! You know, Mickey Mouse? I hope you’ve heard of me…I hope.”) According to Andreas Deja, animator Frank Thomas incorporated a bit of Walt’s own actions while recording the lines for this scene, giving it a superb bit of what Thomas would call “the illusion of life”.

11. Lonesome Ghosts

Here we have another Mickey-Donald-Goofy venture with shenanigans surrounding the last two, but there’s enough of Mickey in there to make it count. Now tell me if this sounds familiar: a trio of oddballs, one smart if in way over his head, one irascible and sarcastic, and one delightfully naive, go into business capturing ghosts. And yes, at one point one of them says “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts”. It’s a shame Disney wasn’t able to capitalize on this fifty years later apart from syncing this short to the Ghostbusters theme in the DTV Halloween special. Lonesome Ghosts is a spooky jaunt where half the fun comes from the various ways the titular quartet of specters tease our hapless heroes. How the protagonists manage to send them packing kind of confuses me, but it still makes for a good chuckle. Steeped in atmosphere and loaded with laughs, Lonesome Ghosts is a ghoulish good time.

10. Mickey’s Good Deed

It’s Christmas Eve, and Mickey and Pluto are out in the cold with nothing but a bass fiddle that earns them barely enough to eat. A bratty rich half-pint sets his sights on Pluto and goes Veruca Salt on his father, leading to him offering Mickey a fair bit of dough in exchange for the dog. Mickey refuses, until he spies a poor widow and her many children even worse off than he is. This leads to him making a heartwrenching sacrifice to ensure they have a merry Christmas. It’s a short that runs the gamut of emotions. You feel for Mickey every second as he either loses everything he owns or willingly gives it up for a greater good, and there’s plenty of joy to be had when he gets his reward in the end (as well as when that terrible child is given his due punishment). I love watching this every Christmastime, and it exemplifies the giving spirit of the season.

9. Runaway Brain

You wanna know where that infamous image of a demonic Mickey came from? Well here ya go. Fast-paced, frightening and hilarious, Runaway Brain is a wild ride from start to finish. In some ways it feels more akin to a Looney Tunes short than a Disney one. The comic and story beats come right after another, yet leave room for sight gags and references a plenty. There’s even a brief shot that visibly homages The Exorcist. IN A DISNEY SHORT.

Borrowing from The Mad Doctor’s playbook, this time it’s Mickey who’s in a mad scientist’s sights after taking an offer for “a mindless day’s work” at face value, just so he could earn some vacation cash for Minnie. Said mad scientist, Dr. Frankenollie (love the nod there), voiced by Sideshow Bob himself Kelsey Grammar, switches Mickey’s brain with that of his King Kong/Frankenstein-esque creation Julius, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Pete. When the doctor is zapped into ashes by his own experiment – onscreen, mind you – Mickey, now trapped in Julius’ body, must find a way to get back to normal and stop Julius, stuck in Mickey’s form but no less monstrous, from pursuing Minnie. As I said before, the jokes come at you fast and hard. The climax in particular is especially rollicking, with some amazing lighting and coloring choices that pump up the action. As always, Mickey saves the day in the most entertaining – and in this case, bizarre – way possible.

8. The Band Concert

Mickey makes his technicolor debut in one of the first shorts that pits him against a troublesome Donald. All our stalwart conductor wants to do is perform a bit of William Tell for some music lovers in the park, but he’s consistently interrupted by Donald wanting to get in on the action with Turkey In The Straw and an improbable supply of easily breakable flutes. Still, you’ve got to admire both of them for their determination. I’d say nothing short of a cyclone could stop them, but that’s exactly what happens; the climax has them playing through the gale even as they’re hurled through the air! Considering the music they’re performing is appropriately stormy sounding, one has to wonder if they picked up their instruments from Hyrule. The Band Concert is a testament to Mickey’s unflappable perseverance and affinity for music.

7. The Little Whirlwind

Lured to Minnie’s by the promise of cake, Mickey agrees to give her yard a good cleanup in exchange for some dessert. Unfortunately, a playful sentient cyclone has other plans. I’ve never been bothered by Mickey’s voice, but this short shows how he works just as well silently. Much of the action is largely in mime with no dialogue. The slapstick is fun all around. I always did feel a bit bad that Mickey got the short end of the stick in this cartoon; after being tormented by the hellion hurricane, he’s pursued by a giant momma tornado who assumes her offspring was bullied for no reason, and when Minnie checks on his progress he’s blamed for the disaster area that was formerly her garden. I don’t know what the hell she was doing in the kitchen to not hear the two cyclones roaring through her yard but I hope it was worth it. At least Mickey ends up getting the cake – though not in a way he was certainly expecting.

6. Mr. Mouse Takes a Trip

Once more we witness Mickey’s loyalty to his equally devoted canine companion. A simple train trip to Pomona goes off the rails when Mickey must shield Pluto from dog-hating conductor Pete and both find themselves on the run from him. There’s disguises and mishaps galore, and it’s a constant back and forth to see who’s one step ahead of the other. Interesting fact: this short is also the source of the only known footage of Walt Disney recording his lines as Mickey.

5. Symphony Hour

A spiritual sequel to The Band Concert, Mickey once again plays conductor for a classical orchestra made up of his friends. Unfortunately someone thought it was a good idea to leave all the instruments in Goofy’s hands before their big debut, and they’re quickly destroyed. Now poor Mickey has to keep everything together as the concert falls to pieces and their sponsor Pete fumes from his viewing box.

This short… it’s hysterical. There’s no other word for it. Everything from the animation to the music – which sounds like a precursor to Spike Jones – cracks me up. Mickey is pushed to the limits of his endurance as his show crumbles around him. Not helping matters is the attitude of the performers. Sure, Goofy, Horace Horsecollar and the like soldier on admirably, but Donald threatens to up and leave several times. Yet Mickey isn’t afraid to stoop to any level to ensure the show, no matter how terrible, will indeed go on. And the worse it gets for them, the better it gets for us.

4. Thru the Mirror

After falling asleep while reading Alice Through the Looking Glass, Mickey dreams of entering his bedroom mirror and exploring the bizzarro version of his world on the other side. Living furniture, card battles and jazzy dance sequences ensue. Out of all the Mickey shorts on this list, this is probably the best animated. The scenes stick out in your mind long after the cartoon has ended. The size-changing walnuts, the catchy tap dance starting with a game of jump rope with a telephone cord that evolves into a Busby Berkeley homage with playing cards, and the escape from said cards while traversing the dangers of a literal living room? It’s golden age Disney at its finest. There’s not much in the way of story, but that’s not the point of this short. It’s just great animation fueled by years of practice and boundless imagination.

3. Get a Horse!

I remember hearing way back when this short was announced that it was supposedly one from Walt’s heyday which was lost to the ages and recently unearthed. Little could we have realized that it was merely a smokescreen – instead of an old cartoon, we were getting the first new theatrical Mickey Mouse short since Runaway Brain, one that paid tribute to the classic Mickey cartoons of old.

Since I watched Frozen more than once during its theatrical run, I had the privilege of experiencing Get A Horse as it should be: in a big dark movie theater with eye-popping 3D. It gives the perfect illusion that this crazy cartoon with characters jumping in and out and running around the theater really is happening right in front of you. Mickey and friends play around with the screen and the dimensions contained within and with-out in a way not seen since Chuck Jones’ masterpiece Duck Amuck. And having seen many, MANY classic Disney shorts before (if this list hadn’t already indicated), I could even tell where many of the sound bites used for the characters’ dialogue were lifted from. I simply don’t get it when people dismiss this short for “mocking” old school Disney when in reality it does anything but. I think this short is the epitome of what Disney is doing now with their animation, blending the best of the old with the technology and promise of the new. Also, Oswald cameo for the win!

2. The Prince and the Pauper

Talk about nostalgia. I watched this short with the same frequency as my favorite Disney movies on VHS. In fact, due to having no sense of time when I was younger, I thought this twenty minute short was about the same length as those films; it certainly flies by at the same speed. Mark Twain’s tale of royal identity switching has seen its fair share of adaptations, but this one will always be my favorite. We’ve got riveting action and phenomenal voice acting (Wayne Allwine, you were the best Mickey outside of Walt and Brett Iwan can’t hold a candle to you).

It’s also one of the most dramatic shorts in the Disney canon. Pete is at his most menacing outside of Mickey’s Christmas Carol. Scenes like where Mickey attends to the king in his final moments and the prince learns of his father’s passing carry so much weight to them. They’re framed cinematically and let you take in the gravitas. Still, that’s not to say there isn’t any comedy to be found. The Prince and the Pauper has plenty of moments that still make me laugh twenty-eight years later. It’s a short that has everything. Easily one of Mickey’s finest moments.

1. The Brave Little Tailor

If I were to point to one short that summed up everything I love about Mickey Mouse, all you need to know about him, and why he’s so great, The Brave Little Tailor would be it.

Due to a simple misunderstanding, Mickey is thrust into the role of reluctant hero, one who must face down a killer giant no less. But if most of what the previously mentioned shorts have shown, Mickey’s nothing more or less than the perfect underdog. And when he gets into action, he’s like a cartoon blend of Chaplin, Keaton and Fairbanks – not a coincidence as the former two were big influences on early Mickey. Scared though he is, he rarely panics. Instead he relies on his greatest strengths to save the day – his quick thinking, nimbleness from his diminutive stature, and his loyal, caring heart. There’s a reason why I chose this particular thumbnail for this entry. No matter how many times I see this enamored incarnation of Minnie shower her champion with kisses, making him stumble around dizzily and cheerfully cry “Whoopee! I’ll cut ‘im down to my size!” I always, always go “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww”. It’s just too adorable for words. When you’ve got someone who loves you like Minnie does, you feel like you can take on the world.

I could go on about how the scene where he’s telling the story of how he killed seven with one blow (that’s flies, by the way, not giants) has been studied by animation students and enthusiasts to the point where Junction Point Studios aspired to recreate that level of expression and fluidity when creating Epic Mickey, or how Mickey defeats the giant has been homaged in other shorts as well as the airport fight from Captain America:Civil War, or just that wonderful storybook golden age Disney feel it has from start to finish, but I won’t. By all means, seek out the short and see it all for yourself.

No matter how many times the corporate side of Disney has airbrushed Mickey’s foibles to present him as the bland, perfect company mascot, Mickey’s bravery, kindness, and penchant for attracting trouble has never been fully scrubbed away. Different voice actors, animators, story writers and financial visionaries have come and gone throughout the years, and each has presented their own unique take on the character, but there’s no mistaking the world’s most famous mouse, the one who started it all.

Happy Birthday, Mickey. Here’s to 90 more.

Thanks for reading! What are your favorite Mickey Mouse shorts? Share them in the comments and be sure to follow and check out my Patreon if you want to read more!

My Top 20 Favorite Mickey Mouse Shorts As a lifelong Disney fan I can't understate how much of an impact Mickey Mouse has had on me.

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New Post has been published on http://techcrunchapp.com/the-baby-sitters-club-on-netflix-tv-review-variety/

‘The Baby-Sitter’s Club’ on Netflix: TV Review - Variety

For a certain subset of ’90s girls, “Are you a Kristy or a Claudia?” was the original (and completely G-rated) version of “Are you a Carrie or a Samantha?” As each book of Ann M. Martin’s “Baby-Sitters Club” series focused on a different member of the club — from determined president Kristy to artsy VP Claudia to shy secretary Mary-Anne — it let readers take a peek into a tween life that could, perhaps, reflect their own. The books are straightforward and heartfelt, telling stories of smart and ambitious girls on the precipice of growing up that take great care not to condescend to them (like some of the grown-ups in their lives do by default).

Maybe that’s why, halfway through the first episode of Netflix’s “The Baby-Sitters Club” adaptation, I realized I’d been steeling myself for the moment that this modern reboot of a children’s property would turn dark and sexy, as per increasingly typical “Riverdale” standards. But much to my pleasant surprise (and downright relief), Rachel Shukert’s update of Martin’s beloved books is, in fact, a show about young teenagers starring young teenagers that’s entirely appropriate for young teenagers. Such a concept should not be radical, and yet, it’s remarkable that the sweet sincerity of this “Baby-Sitters Club” so closely matches that of its source material while also bringing it into a recognizable 21st century.

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The show begins in a picture-perfect Connecticut town with determined tomboy Kristy (Sophie Grace) starting the Baby-Sitters Club as a way to hang out more with her best friend Mary-Anne (Malia Baker), reconnect with Claudia (Momona Tamada) and make some money while they’re at it. New girls Stacey (Shay Rudolph) and Dawn (Xochitl Gomez) quickly join in, bringing perspectives from New York City and California, respectively. Believable tensions crop up as the group evolves; nothing hurts quite like a middle school friendship fight, after all. But “The Baby-Sitters Club” isn’t as concerned with drawing out drama as it is with underlining the unshakable fact of the girls’ affection for each other. And as becomes even clearer when glamorous high schoolers try to invade their turf for the sole purpose of making quick cash, everyone in the Baby-Sitters Club actually loves and reveres the job of looking after children, whom they always take seriously — even when they’re being total nightmares.

As in the books, the series’ Kristy struggles to adjust when her mother (Alicia Silverstone) gets engaged to her much wealthier boyfriend (Mark Feuerstein); Mary-Anne works to convince both herself and her protective widower father (a perfectly cast Mark Evan Jackson) that she isn’t a child anymore; Stacey hides the severity of her chronic illness before embracing it as an intrinsic part of who she is. There are, however, some pointed updates to the canon. Dawn, for one, is no longer a blond flower child but a Latina budding activist who attends new moon “sharemonies” with her crystal-loving mother (Jessica Elaina Eason). Mary-Anne learns to use her voice when her new babysitting charge, a young transgender girl, goes to the hospital only to have her harried doctors carelessly misgender her. (The way in which Mary-Anne comes to understand who she is and immediately goes to bat for her simply because comforting a child is the right thing to do makes it one of the season’s best episodes.) And Claudia —who, when Martin first introduced her, was an instantly iconic Japanese American character at a time when vanishingly few existed in young adult literature — has to contend with the fact that her beloved grandmother Mimi (Takayo Fischer) has been quietly carrying the trauma of being in an internment camp since she was a child. Each actor, a young teen herself, carries each storyline with dual innocence and gravitas, a deceptively tricky task.

While some may call these tweaks an attempt to be more timely, watching them unfold makes it obvious how timeless these stories really are. All are rooted in character; the lessons learned are direct and compassionate; the explanations are clear in a way that acknowledges children’s capacity to understand and empathize. So much of this new “Baby-Sitters Club” speaks to the care that went into it. (The costumes alone, from Cynthia Ann Summers, are crucial to each babysitter’s characterization; Claudia’s wardrobe in particular deserves its own “Teen Vogue” spread.) It’s true that, again as with the books, most of the conflicts introduced per episode get wrapped in a neat bow by the end. Every parent, no matter the issue, is loving and understanding. Every heartbreak, no matter how devastating, can be healed with a hug. Even when that doesn’t always ring entirely true, the palpable warmth underlying each resolution proves irresistible.

“The Baby-Sitter’s Club” premieres July 3 on Netflix. (10 episodes; all reviewed.)

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Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

This is the fifth and final part in my five part series about romantic StuckyNat, the story of Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Natasha Romanoff falling in love with and wanting to be with each other. This part picks up in the middle of Captain America: Civil War, as Zemo is evaluating Bucky in his cell. It ends with the end of the movie. I’ve worked hard to keep the series canon compliant, so there’s no speculation about anything beyond the tags at the end of the film. ( I’d be happy to speculate in another post, just ask in the comments!)

Bucky couldn’t believe his ears as he heard the things this psychiatrist was saying to him. He’d known something was wrong even before the fake doctor had pulled out the red book and started reading his code words. Bucky panicked and started pounding his way out of the cell, as he felt himself disappearing inside his own mind again. He was left to watch helplessly as he hurt the two people he loved most in the world, again, nearly killed Howard’s son, and dozens of others. This nightmare would never be over. Even buried deep inside himself, barely aware, he was devastated. It didn’t matter how long he ran, or hid, or tried to avoid anything or anyone that could control him. He’d always be found and used. It was a relief when Steve finally knocked him out. He wanted to stay that way forever.

When he woke up, Bucky wasn’t sure where he was, only that his arm was restrained in an awkward position and he wasn’t back in a cell. Once again, he didn’t even try to get free. If the red book was back in play, it was better for everyone if he was contained. Steve looked like he didn’t know who Bucky was any more. Like Bucky had already used up all of his chances to prove that he was still Steve’s Bucky. Bucky himself wasn’t sure if he was Steve’s Bucky anymore.

Then they started talking. Bucky realized that the combination of Steve and Natasha’s presence, and that last cognitive recalibration, had restored a flood of memories he hadn’t had access to before. There was no time to sift through them all now, but he felt a rush of warmth at how much more familiar Steve felt to him. He’d known all along that he loved Steve, but he hadn’t had all of the memories to help him realize why, or to read Steve’s body language. Now much of that had come back to him, and it was like finally coming home. Even though he also realized that Steve didn’t quite love him back in the same way, Bucky still knew he’d lay down his life for Steve all over again.

Steve listened in on Bucky’s psychiatric evaluation while he continued to look for an opening to get Bucky, along with Sam and himself, out of the hands of the authorities. He’d given Tony and the system a chance, but it was clear that Bucky was being found guilty without anyone bothering to even look for evidence. He would be executed long before an investigation could be completed, if they even did one. There was something corrupt in this situation, but Steve didn’t have time to ferret it out right now, not with Bucky’s life at stake. Natasha was too caught up in her own anger to see it, Tony too caught up in his own ego and what he wanted to get out of the accords for himself. Ross had played Tony perfectly.

Then there was T’Challa. Steve didn’t know much about him, or Wakanda, but he did know that T’Challa had somehow managed to get custody of Bucky over the US. Letting Bucky disappear into a small secretive nation that blamed him for the death of their beloved king was not something Steve was prepared to do.

If Bucky said he didn’t set off the bomb, Steve believed him. He still knew Bucky better than he’d ever known anyone else, even after a separation of 70 years. Bucky certainly deserved to be questioned with his lawyer present, and given all of the other rights due an American citizen and returning Prisoner of War. The reminder that Steve himself was viewed by some as US government property, just as Bucky had been viewed as HYDRA property, steeled Steve’s resolve to take matters into his own hands.

Then the lights went out. Thank goodness they had Sharon on their side, and she sent him and Sam straight to Bucky. Who knows what they were planning to do to him under cover of darkness.

When Steve and Sam got to the floor where Bucky was being held, they discovered that the psychiatrist had activated the Winter Soldier. Their suspicions that something wasn’t right were correct. Now he just had to get Bucky under control again before there were too many more injuries, and use the chaos to escape.

At least Bucky didn’t shoot him this time. Wrestling with a helicopter hadn’t been ideal, but Steve wasn’t letting Bucky out of his sight. Bucky was getting cognitive recalibration and they were leaving together, even if it nearly killed the both of them. Disappearing into the water would slow the search down and hopefully knock Bucky out cold long enough to reset him, so Steve pushed the helicopter in, hanging onto its side as they went.

Once Steve and Sam had gotten Bucky hidden and safely restrained, Steve thought about his latest encounter with the Winter Soldier. Something had been different this time. He was still a fighting machine, but his eyes weren’t as flat and lifeless as they’d been 2 years ago. Something more of Bucky remained in them. He’d been easier to stop, too. Maybe Bucky had been able to hold the Soldier back from the commands a bit.

When Bucky woke up, Steve couldn’t help but be wary. Was he still the Winter Soldier? The lost, skittish Bucky who hadn’t trusted Steve in Bucharest? Would Steve be able to get through to him at all?

But as they talked, Steve realized that he could finally recognize his Bucky in the man sitting in front of him. There was a warmth in his eyes that Steve hadn’t seen since Bucky fell from the train. Steve wanted to bask in it, to find out if Bucky could still love him, even to just hold Bucky again, but now was not the time. They were on the run, and the world needed to be saved, again.

Starting with getting their gear back from Sharon. She was a better friend than he had any right to expect. He hoped Bucky wouldn’t take it the wrong way when Steve kissed her goodbye. There had been some attraction between the two of them, but the timing had never been right, and now it never would be. They both knew it. That kiss was them both saying goodbye to the possibility of anything more. Steve already had Bucky, and possibly Natasha, if he hadn’t lost her because of this clusterfuck. When this fight was over he’d tell them both how he felt and what he hoped they could have together.

As for Bucky… he just. Well. While he’d known Steve wasn’t obligated to wait for him, he wasn’t prepared to have the evidence that Steve hadn’t waited thrown in his face at that moment. Not when he’d just fully remembered his own feelings. He knew Steve had never loved him back in the same way, but he’d had a small kernel of hope that once they found each other again, now that it was legal for two men to be together, Steve would realize what he was really feeling. Best to put that dream aside and try to find a way to go on then. Bucky tried not to let his face freeze in a grimace when Steve turned to look at him. Steve was putting himself in danger again for Bucky. Bucky could be happy for Steve, whatever choices he made.

Look at the framing on that shot. No dialogue necessary.

The last 24 hours had been an emotional roller coaster ride for Nat. Bucky had somehow been activated as the Winter Soldier and carried out an attack. Then he’d escaped with Steve and Sam. Before that she’d overheard Sharon and Steve develop a convincing theory about Bucky being framed for the UN bombing. But Bucky still didn’t recognize her. While that was difficult to face, she was a big girl. Even if he never did, she’d survive. Ross was now not only ready to kill Bucky on sight, but Steve as well. There were more important issues to devote herself to than her emotions. Her boys needed her professionalism more than her love right now.

 Then the fight at the airport had gone horribly wrong. She’d felt she had no choice but to help Steve and Bucky escape before they all ended up seriously injured or dead. She wasn’t so sure she was fighting on the right side any more anyway, after everything that had happened. When Natasha left Tony with Rhodey at the hospital, she knew it was time to rethink everything that had happened since Lagos. She’d find Steve and Bucky once they were done with their current mission to Siberia. If she was going into hiding, she’d go with them.

It killed Steve to stand on opposite sides from his friends like this, staring down Tony, Natasha, and the rest as if they were enemies. But he knew he was doing the right thing. Saving Bucky and Wanda from the effects of the Accords, clearing Bucky’s name, and stopping Zemo were important. He hoped Tony and Nat would be able to see that someday. Steve had given up everything to do the right thing over and over when it came to helping others and saving the world. This was the right thing for him to do now.

Steve could tell by the way they fought that almost everyone on Tony’s side was very angry with the Avengers on his side. They needed to end this quickly before anyone got seriously injured. He was proud of the way Wanda and Sam performed during the fight and utilized their training. Leaving the rest of the team behind while only he and Bucky escaped was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Steve was grateful that Natasha saw reason and helped them escape at the last minute. He knew she would face consequences for her loyalty to him.

Bucky wasn’t sure he wanted to fight at all any more, but if he did, he wanted it to be at Steve’s side, for a cause they both believed in. He could see how hard it was for Steve to fight against his friends, and appreciated that Steve would still do that for the person Bucky had become.

It was hard for Bucky to see Natasha there and still not say anything to her. He wanted a moment with her so badly. Even if Steve had moved on, perhaps Bucky and Natasha could still at least be close friends. But he didn’t want to blurt something out in a situation like this, and he assumed she didn’t either. The Red Room didn’t train its operatives to wear their hearts on their sleeves. Once this was all over, he’d find her, eventually, when it was safe.

On the quinjet, when they finally had a quiet moment, Steve tried to reassure Bucky that the devastation that had followed him for 70 years wasn’t his fault, but Bucky didn’t think either one of them actually bought it. Steve wouldn’t even look at Bucky when he said it. Bucky would need to find a way to keep the people he cared about safe from the Winter Soldier, whatever it took. If nothing else, he could slip away and go even deeper into hiding somewhere isolated where no one would ever find him. Steve and Natasha had each other and brand new lives, they’d be fine without him. It looked like Steve had Sharon if he wanted her, too.

Steve felt so guilty that he couldn’t even look at Bucky when they talked in the quinjet about the things Bucky had done as the Winter Soldier. It was all Steve’s fault, not Bucky’s. Steve should have gone back for Bucky when he fell from the train. Steve should have made sure Bucky never fell. Steve should have loved and taken better care of Bucky when he’d had the chance. He hadn’t figured out how to say any of that to Bucky yet, didn’t know if Bucky would even want to hear it, and now wasn’t the time anyway. So he said what he could to make Bucky realize that Bucky wasn’t the one to blame, no matter what. Someday he’d find a way to make the rest clear to Bucky. To make things right between them again.

Bucky armed himself with some of Natasha’s weapons once they got to the missile silo in Siberia. It was a small way of feeling close to her again. Then Steve brought up an old childhood adventure at Coney Island. He lit up inside, hearing Steve remind him of their pre-battle ritual of sharing an old memory. Bucky felt stronger and more wanted than he’d felt since he’d jumped onto that train in the Alps in 1945.

But as they walked into the silo, for Bucky it was like going back into the scene of his worst nightmares. Suddenly, Tony Stark was there, a man he couldn’t bring himself to trust, truce or no truce. He remembered how tenacious Howard was. Tony didn’t seem any different. He’d bet anything this truce was very temporary.

 Bucky’s apprehension only grew when they discovered that the other Winter Soldiers were already dead. Zemo had probably killed them in the cryo tubes to put Bucky on edge. Being killed while helpless in cryo was another nightmare scenario. A jumpy, off-balance Winter Soldier would be easier for Iron Man to incapacitate, leaving only an angry, over-emotional Captain America to fight. And that had been Zemo’s plan all along. Lure the three of them here, then goad them into killing each other. Once again, Bucky and Steve were merely pawns in someone else’s violent game.

At first, Bucky started to leave when Steve told him to run during the fight with Tony. It was second nature to follow Steve’s orders, even when he didn’t want to. He was so used to doing as he was told, especially here in this place. But he’d eventually realized that Steve needed his help, no matter what his orders were. He’d die for Steve as many times as it took. He’d give up his metal arm. It was a reminder of the worst parts of his life anyway. Zemo and Tony were not winning this one.

When they’d arrived in Siberia, Steve had tried to reassure Bucky that they were a team again and that he wouldn’t let anyone activate the Winter Soldier. He felt nauseous thinking about what had happened to Bucky here, but he and Bucky both needed to put that aside and stay alert. Zemo was waiting for them somewhere inside. Steve only grudgingly trusted Tony when he arrived at the silo. It was a fragile truce.

Steve was already upset that Tony had detained Wanda, his surrogate daughter, as if she wasn’t even a person with rights, and that Tony didn’t have any respect for how important Bucky was to Steve. He was much more than the “war buddy” Tony kept trying to reduce him to. Now Tony wanted to kill Bucky over something Bucky would never have done on his own. Bucky would never kill a friend like Howard. Tony had seen the Winter Soldier files. He knew what they’d had to do to Bucky to force him to commit these assassinations. What the hell? Steve understood how hard it was for Tony to find out his parents had been murdered. Steve knew what it was like to try to deal with big emotional shocks, but murder wasn’t the answer. Steve would die before he’d let Tony have Bucky. The way Tony was fighting, it might just come to that.

Then Tony had the nerve to compare his friendship with Steve to Steve and Bucky’s relationship. Like the few short years of tumultuous, acrimonious friendship he and Tony had shared could ever compare to the lifelong everything that Steve and Bucky had been to each other. Steve knew Tony was stunted emotionally, but he had no idea how limited his understanding of love and relationships was. How many times had he and Bucky died for each other? It was in the fucking history books they taught in school, for fuck’s sake! Even without their romantic love, their friendship was celebrated as one of the truest, most devoted friendships ever. And Tony thought Steve should have chosen Tony over the man who’d nursed him back to health more times than Steve could count? Who’d saved his life more times than Steve could count? What planet did Tony live on?

By the time the fight was over, Bucky had lost his metal arm, and all three of them were beaten and bloody. Steve wasn’t even surprised that Tony was petty enough to bring up the shield again. He’d dropped it without a second thought. The time when he’d felt like he was fighting for something important as Captain America was long gone. Now all they wanted Captain America to stand for was control and the restriction of rights. That wasn’t something Steve Rogers was going to do.

But, in exchange, he’d gotten something so much more precious. Bucky, who was still the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen, even after everything. Steve held him as close as he could as they walked back to the quinjet. Steve felt Bucky clinging to him, even though Bucky was reeling from his injuries. He wasn’t sure where they’d go. One of the countries that didn’t sign the accords would have to do for now. They’d recover a little and make plans to rescue the others that they’d left at the airport.

Suddenly, T’Challa was standing in front of them. Would this day never end? Steve started to pull Bucky behind him while he explained that Bucky was framed for T’Chakka’s murder. T’Challa stopped him immediately. He told Steve that he had heard Zemo’s confession, and had captured Zemo and left him for Tony Stark to find. T’Challa actually apologized for blaming an innocent man without waiting for an investigation and due process, then offered them sanctuary in Wakanda.

Steve was floored. He appreciated what it took for the king to admit his mistake. They immediately took T’Challa up on the offer of sanctuary. The country’s secure borders made it the perfect place to hide.

Once he’d settled in Wakanda, Steve sent Tony a letter. He doubted their friendship would ever be the same. He didn’t even know if he wanted it to, but they had to coexist and most likely cooperate in this world. It would be best if they could learn to work together again. Communication, as always, would be key in rebuilding trust.

After resting and healing for a few days, Steve and Bucky headed to The Raft to break out the rest of their team. Steve was reminded strongly of Azzano. He’d never thought he’d be liberating team members from being held in such unfair conditions by his own country. It made him sick to see what they’d done to Wanda. She was barely even a chronological adult.

Bucky wasn’t surprised to see how the rest of the team were being held. He was much more familiar with how the governments and prisons of the world worked than Steve was. Pierce, and most of his other handlers, had been high-ranking government officials, leaving him with few illusions. Bucky was just glad that they could get everyone out and back to safety.

Once they’d returned to Wakanda, Bucky finally approached T’Challa about either deactivating his code words or going back into cryo. They decided to set up a committee of doctors, psychologists, Wanda, and anyone else the committee felt might be helpful to try to solve the issue. Bucky would go back into cryo to wait for the solution. He knew Steve wouldn’t like this, but Bucky was just so tired of fighting and killing. He couldn’t take the chance that someone would slip into Wakanda and trigger him the way they had in Berlin. He couldn’t repay T’Challa’s kindness that way. He couldn’t take the chance that Steve or someone else he cared about would be killed by the Winter Soldier this time. He just couldn’t.

Steve knew and understood Bucky’s reasons for going back into cryo immediately, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t breaking his heart. He hadn’t told Bucky his feelings yet because it felt wrong to burden Bucky with Steve’s issues when Bucky already had so much to carry. So Steve tried to stay strong, to let this be Bucky’s choice. He wanted so badly to wrap Bucky in his arms and never let him go again. Instead, he grew more and more despondent as he watched the ice envelop the love of his life. He knew it meant an escape to a peaceful rest for Bucky, but it would never mean anything but a cold, suffocating, lonely death to him.

And now he was alone, without Bucky, once again. All he could do was try to keep Bucky safe from anyone who might try to take him. He was having his own nightmares of the other Winter Soldiers, killed in their cryo tubes in Siberia by Zemo, frozen and unable to defend themselves. Steve would help Bucky’s doctors find his cure any way he could. He’d try to keep himself from burning down the world that had done this to the person he loved more than life, when, without Bucky, all he knew how to do was fight. Or die.

He’d do his best to keep breathing this time. Sometimes that was the hardest one of all, without Bucky.

Steve wondered where Natasha was. It was time to find a way to get in touch with her. She was undoubtedly lying low, after helping them escape from the airport. Between himself, Clint, Wanda, Sam, and T’Challa, it shouldn’t take long to find her. Or for her to find them. Steve needed her more than ever now.

Bucky disappears into the icy mist of cryo, finally getting the peaceful rest he’s needed for decades.

As Natasha prepares to leave Tony’s side, we can see her reflection behind her. She still wants to bring both sides together.

Steve steps back into the shadows, as T’Challa steps forward. Steve can’t be the front man right now, since he’s a wanted criminal. He’ll need to work behind the scenes.

The last shots that we see of Steve, Natasha  and Bucky in CA:CW before the movie ends.

A Brief History of Romantic StuckyNat Part 5: Captain America: Civil War from Berlin to Wakanda Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four This is the fifth and final part in my five part series about romantic StuckyNat, the story of Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Natasha Romanoff falling in love with and wanting to be with each other.

[itsfinancethings]

November 29, 2019 at 07:00AM

List season has hit particularly hard this year, as the end of our first full decade of social media immersion has culminated in a multi-month spree of ranking and revisiting the likes of which humanity has probably never seen before. So I feel compelled to open by thanking you, the reader, for giving yet another highly subjective hit parade your attention.

My hope is that along with a few of the zeitgeisty critical darlings (Fleabag, Watchmen, Succession) you’re sure to find in every other top 10 of 2019, this list will point you in the direction of some equally wonderful series (Vida, David Makes Man, Back to Life) that haven’t gotten the shine they deserve. What you won’t find here, incidentally, is anything from the initial slate of shows on brand-new streaming services Apple TV+ or Disney+. Whether that disappointment turns out to be a pattern or a fluke, only time will tell.

10. Back to Life (Showtime)

Few characters have embodied the saying “you can’t go home again” as fully as Back to Life creator Daisy Haggard’s Miri Matteson. Out on parole after spending half her life in jail for a crime she committed at age 18, Miri returns to her small English hometown—not because she’s missed the place, but because she has nowhere to go but her parents’ house. While enduring harassment at the hands of neighbors who will never forget what she did, she struggles to find work, companionship and peace. From the producers of Fleabag, this quieter, gentler traumedy weighs Miri’s crime against the less extreme but more malicious transgressions of her family and friends. It poses the question of whether anyone who pays their debt to society really gets a fair chance to start over—and it suggests that you can tell a lot about a community by getting to know its scapegoats.

9. When They See Us (Netflix)

Ava DuVernay is the rare popular artist fueled by an irrepressible optimism about building a better future as well as righteous anger about the past and present. She brought both of these defining traits to bear on this four-part drama about the Central Park Five—whom her miniseries rechristened the Exonerated Five. Along with exposing how and suggesting why a broken New York City criminal justice system was so eager to vilify blameless children of color in the aftermath of a monstrous act of sexual violence, DuVernay and her stellar young cast worked with the real Five to create multifaceted portraits of regular kids with hopes, ambitions and communities that suffered as a result of their incarceration. And she found echoes of their story in the current movement against mass incarceration and in the presidency of Donald Trump, who stoked public fury at the boys. When They See Us celebrates the righting of a grievous wrong while acknowledging that no vindication, or remuneration, could fully heal such deep wounds.

8. Watchmen (HBO)

For those of us who haven’t enjoyed our culture’s never-ending superhero craze so much as endured it, the news that the most prestigious of all prestige cable outlets was adapting a DC Comics book sounded kind of like a betrayal. Et tu, HBO? But we should never have doubted The Leftovers creator Damon Lindelof’s ability to make Alan Moore’s brilliant, subversive 1980s classic resonate more than three decades later. Instead of revisiting the Cold War, Lindelof set his Watchmen in an alternate 2019 where the events of the comic are canon, Robert Redford (yes, that one) has been President for decades and a white supremacist group called the Seventh Kavalry is slaughtering police who are loyal to the liberal administration. Into this mess rides masked vigilante Sister Night (Regina King, in the would-be hero role she’s long deserved), a cop who is supposed to have retired from crime-fighting. There is (or should be) enough carryover from Moore’s original to appease its cult fandom, but the show is at its best when contending with our confused, misinformed, politically polarized current reality. And in that respect, it’s every bit as intelligent, provocative and mysterious as it is entertaining.

7. Undone (Amazon)

Fans worried that BoJack Horseman mastermind Raphael Bob-Waksberg would turn out to be a one-hit wonder could take comfort in this wildly imaginative sci-fi dramedy that he co-created with Kate Purdy, about a disaffected young woman (Rosa Salazar’s Alma) who narrowly survives a catastrophic car crash. In hospital-bed visions tied to her sudden physical trauma and preexisting mental illness, Alma reunites with her long-dead father (Bob Odenkirk), learns that he was murdered and allows him to guide her on a time-travel mission to prevent the crime from happening. Yet Undone is more than just a high-concept mystery; it’s a journey into human consciousness, a beautiful example of Rotoscoped animation and a subtle meditation on family, identity and spirituality.

6. David Makes Man (OWN)

The success of Moonlight sent ripples through Hollywood, elevating writer-director Barry Jenkins and a cast including Mahershala Ali, Jharrel Jerome and Janelle Monáe to the highest echelon of their art form. It also opened industry doors for MacArthur honoree Tarell Alvin McCraney, who wrote the play on which the film was based. This year he unveiled David Makes Man, a lyrical drama about a smart, troubled 14-year-old (Akili McDowell, astonishing in his first lead role) in the Florida projects who’s struggling to get into a prestigious high school and avoid being drafted into a gang, while mourning a mentor. Though it shares a lush aesthetic and many themes—black boyhood, complicated role models, queer identity—with Moonlight, the expanded format allows McCraney to explore the people around David. His privileged best friend (Nathaniel McIntyre) suffers abuse at home. His gender-queer neighbor (Travis Coles) takes in runaway LGBT teens and plays a delicate role in the local ecosystem. And his single mother (Alana Arenas), an addict in recovery, holds down a degrading job to keep the bills paid. This isn’t just the old story of excellence and poverty battling for the soul of one extraordinary child; it’s the story of a community where both qualities must coexist.

5. Lodge 49 (AMC)

At least once a year, a series too smart for prime-time gets canned even as network execs re-up long-running bores like NCIS for 24 more functionally identical episodes. In 2019, it was Lodge 49 that ended up on the wrong side of the equation. A loose, semi-stoned account of a young man (Wyatt Russell’s Sean “Dud” Dudley) treading water in the wake of his beloved father’s death, the show expanded over the course of its first season into an allegory for the isolation of contemporary life. The Southern California landscape around Dud, an affable dreamer, and his self-destructive twin sister (Sonya Cassidy) had been scarred by pawn shops, breastaurants, temp agencies, abandoned office parks. Refuge came in the form of the titular cash-strapped fraternal organization, where Dud found two precious things late capitalism couldn’t provide: a sense of community and a mysterious, all-consuming quest. Both propelled him and his cohorts to Mexico in this year’s funny, bittersweet second season; perhaps sensing the end was near, creator Jim Gavin’s finale provided something like closure. Still, the show—which is currently being shopped to streaming services—has plenty left to say. Here’s hoping the producers find a way to, as the fans on Twitter put it, #SaveLodge49.

4. Vida (Starz)

In its short first season, creator Tanya Saracho’s Vida assembled all the elements of a great half-hour drama. Mishel Prada and Melissa Berrera shined as Mexican-American sisters who come home to LA after the death of their inscrutable mom, Vida—only to learn that the building and bar she owned are on the verge of foreclosure. It also turns out that Vida, whose homophobia destroyed her relationship with Prada’s sexually fluid Emma, had married a woman. Meanwhile, their angry teenage neighbor Mari (Chelsea Rendon) raged against gentrification. These storylines coalesced to electrifying effect in this year’s second season, testing the sisters’ tense bond as they found themselves in the crosshairs of activists who saw their desperate efforts to save the family business as acts of treachery from two stuck-up “whitinas.” Thanks largely to the talented Latinx writers and directors Saracho enlisted for the project, Vida brings lived-in nuance to issues like class, colorism and desire—yielding one of TV’s smartest and sexiest shows.

3. Succession (HBO)

Right-wing tycoons and their adult children have gotten plenty of attention in the past few years—most of it negative. So why would anyone voluntarily watch a show in which the nightmare offspring of a Mudoch-like media titan (Brian Cox) compete to become his successor? A rational argument for all the goodwill around Succession might point out the crude poetry of its dialogue (from creator Jesse Armstrong, a longtime Armando Iannucci collaborator), the fearlessness of its cast (give Jeremy Strong an Emmy just for Kendall’s rap) and the knife-twisting accuracy of this season’s digital-media satire (R.I.P. Vaulter). But on a more primal level, one informed by the increasingly rare experience of watching episodes set Twitter ablaze as they aired, I think we’re also getting a collective thrill out of a series that confirms our darkest assumptions about people who thirst for money and power. It’s a catharsis we may well deserve.

2. Russian Doll (Netflix)

To observe that there was a built-in audience for a show created by Natasha Lyonne, Amy Poehler and Leslye Headland in which Lyonne starred as a hard-partying New York City cynic might’ve been the understatement of the year. But even those of us who bought into Russian Doll from the beginning could never have predicted such a resounding triumph. In a story built like the titular nesting doll, Lyonne’s Nadia Vulvokov dies in a freak accident on the night of her 36th birthday. The twist is, instead of moving on to the afterlife or the grave, she finds herself back where she started the evening, at a party in her honor. Nadia is condemned to repeat this cycle of death and rebirth until she levels up in self-knowledge—a process that entails many cigarettes, lots of vintage East Village grit and a not-so-chance encounter with a fellow traveler. Stir in a warm, wry tone and a message of mutual aid, and you’ve got the best new TV show of 2019.

1. Fleabag (Amazon)

Fleabag began its run, in 2016, as a six-episode black comedy about a scornful, neurotic, hypersexual young woman caught in a self-destructive holding pattern of her own making. The premise didn’t immediately distinguish creator and star Phoebe Waller-Bridge as all that different from peers like Lena Dunham, Aziz Ansari and Donald Glover. But the British show’s execution was sharp, funny and daring enough to make it a cult hit on both sides of the Atlantic—and to anoint Waller-Bridge as TV’s next big thing. She went on to helm the exhilarating first season of Killing Eve, giving this year’s second and final season of Fleabag time to percolate. It returned as a more mature but, thankfully, no less audacious show, matching Waller-Bridge’s somewhat reformed Fleabag with an impossible love interest known to fans as the Hot Priest (Andrew Scott). The relationship offered a path to forgiveness for the kind of character most millennial cris de coeur have been content to leave hanging. By allowing Fleabag a measure of grace without sacrificing her life-giving vulgarity, Waller-Bridge conjured the realistic vision of redemption that has so far eluded her contemporaries—and closed out the 2010s with the decade’s single greatest season of comedy.

[d-and-s-are-bord-blog]

Better Late Than Never: 19 Must-See Movies from 1999

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From 19 movie lovers to one other, here are some of our favorites from 1999.

We get a lot of emails here at Film School Rniejects, and while most of them are split pretty evenly between people curious if Kieran Fisher is a “real” person and others asking Christopher Campbell, Esq. for nudes, some are actually complimentary enough towards the site to count as fan letters.

One such example came to us recently from a young woman in the UK hoping to celebrate turning 19 years old with a writing project about movies released in 1999. Her plan was to watch or re-watch films from that year and then write about each of them whether she connected with the movie or not. As a fan of FSR and One Perfect Shot she asked if we could offer a few suggestions as to what we consider to be the must-see movies of 1999.

“Hi, I figure this email is a long shot but I’d really love your help. My name is Ellie, I’m 18, a complete film geek and I could not live without Film School Rejects or One Perfect Shot. I’m starting a project that involves me trying to watch new or rewatch 19 films from 1999 by the time I’m 19 on June 2nd and I would really love any suggestions that I can add to my list. I know its small, but this project means a lot to me and I’d love to complete it and write up about all of them, whether I’m passionate about them or whether I detest them. It would mean the world to get some help on this.

Thank you thank you thank you!

Ellie

London, United Kingdom”

The smart, easy, and nice thing to do would have been for one of us to dash off a quick list of 1999’s best films so she’d have it in time for her birthday. Unfortunately, we here at FSR prefer to complicate things and miss deadlines whenever possible, so instead of a short list we’d like to present Ellie with 19 picks from 19 members of our team. Some might seem obvious, others less so, but it’s most definitely a broad spectrum highlighting not only our staff’s eclectic tastes but also the absolute wonder that is cinema’s breadth and scope.

We write about movies because we love movies (and because Disney pays so damn well for positive Marvel coverage, but that’s a bit off topic so forget I even said it), and we’re equally excited by any opportunity to share that love with others. There are so many amazing films out there, and like everyone else, we’re still discovering new favorites every day.

So happy belated birthday Ellie! We apologize for the tardiness of our reply, but hopefully you find something new to appreciate from our picks and that they add to your already growing love for the movies. (And, yes, we did add a bonus pick for an even twenty to get a jump on your 20th birthday…)

10 Things I Hate About You (directed by Gil Junger)

Perhaps the last great teen movie of the 20th century, 10 Things I Hate About You made its debut in 1999. It’s essential viewing for any rom-com fan, but especially for young women. Kat (Julia Stiles) is a badass feminist lead unlike many we see in romantic comedies who accepts an invitation to prom from class mystery man Patrick (Heath Ledger). There’s miscommunication, true love, and a Shakespeare enthusiast. The soundtrack is the perfect time capsule of 1999, but it still rocks today. It’s a fun and adorable movie I adored when I was nineteen! – Emily Kubincanek

All About My Mother (directed by Pedro Almodóvar)

Us film writers have a bad habit of using “melodrama” like it’s a dirty word. The thing is, melodrama is most often used as a crutch—blatant appeals to viewers’ emotions made in an attempt to distract audiences from other shortcomings. It takes a skilled filmmaker to remind us of how wrong we are in conflating melodrama’s potential with the underwhelming contents in which it is most often seen, and Pedro Almodóvar is perhaps the preeminent master of melodrama working today. Todo Sobre Mi Madre (All About My Mother) is stuffed to the brim with plotting straight from a soap opera, expertly condensing the twists and turns one might expect from an entire television season into less than two hours. Gorgeously vibrant and filled with innovative cinematography that will stick in your brain long afterward, the film is a much-needed reminder that melodrama and great cinema can absolutely be one and the same. And that you should always look both ways before crossing the road. – Ciara Wardlow

Analyze This (directed by Harold Ramis)

What is the best way to understand film genre? Apart from actually sitting down and immersing oneself in its finest examples, the answer is clear: genre parodies! An overlooked classic is Harold Ramis’ Analyze This. One sentence summary: Robert De Niro plays a mob boss and Billy Crystal is his psychiatrist. It’s a ton of fun! Also, it’s a thoughtful satire, one that raises deep questions about our understanding of masculinity, especially in films about Italian-American men. In Goodfellas, De Niro plays a mobster completely devoid of emotion; here, he plays one who struggles to admit he has emotions because he believes doing so would make him weak. It’s well-worth your time, plus, if you like it, there’s a sequel! – Will DiGravio

Audition (directed by Takashi Miike)

By the time you read this, Takashi Miike’s filmography will have surpassed 100 directorial outings and some change. The Japanese maverick is a workaholic who’s willing to make any project he gets offered, though when you look at the eclectic array of titles in his oeuvre, what you see is some of the boldest and most daring cinema of the last 20 years. Audition, which is based on Ryu Murakami’s novel of the same name, is one of his foremost masterworks, as well as an example of J-horror at its smartest and most sadistic. It tells the story of a widower who’s looking to get back into the dating game, but he gets more than he bargained for when he meets a woman with a mysterious past and a willingness to go the extra mile. Part romantic comedy, part stomach-churning nightmare, Audition serves as the perfect introduction to Miike’s demented world, and it’ll either make you want to delve in further or avoid it forever. – Kieran Fisher

The Blair Witch Project (directed by Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez)

Found footage movies get a bad wrap. Look, I get it. After the – ahem – foundational film The Blair Witch Project made its splash debut at Sundance Film Festival, screening at midnight to an unsuspecting crowd, studios every year have attempted to cash in on this low-cost way of filmmaking. But when done right, this POV format elicits a cinema verite quality that we so rarely see in the horror genre. And that’s what makes Blair Witch work so well. It just feels real. And in a time when the internet was just becoming what it is today, it was easy for the studios to really capitalize on that and make audiences believe that it was real. From the website that the filmmakers set up to the Sci-Fi Channel “documentary” The Curse of the Blair Witch that ran the week before the film released, they essentially made not only the first Augmented Reality game but also an immersive experience. Watching the film you feel like you are in the Black Hills Forest with Heather, Mike, and Josh slowly losing your sanity as the claustrophobic woods send chills down your spine. And when the woods finally come alive, the terror feels real. In a decade that was full of glossy excess, the simplistic DIY quality of The Blair Witch Project made it a breath of fresh air. This film didn’t have beautiful 20-somethings, pretending to still be in high school, running away from a hook hand or a ghost mask, this was a fear of the unknown. What’s right behind the door, or down that dark corridor. What we can’t even begin to comprehend, for fear we go mad. Often imitated, but never duplicated: The Blair Witch Project is real old-school horror. – Jacob Trussell

Dick (directed by Andrew Fleming)

After nearly 20 years, I still can’t believe Dick hasn’t become at least a cult classic. This movie has so many hilarious performances from its mix of Kids in the Hall and Saturday Night Live cast members, including Bruce McCullough and a not-yet-famous Will Ferrell as iconic journalists Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward. Ryan Reynolds is here pre-fame, as well. The political satire mashed with teen comedy stars Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst on the edge of their transitions from child actresses to Oscar and Emmy worthy talents, and that’s a perfect spot for them to be in while they play bubbly girls in the midst, almost Forrest Gump-like, in one of America’s most notorious scandals. It’s a hip, lampooning introduction to the Nixon Administration and Watergate for young audiences with a wonderful portrayal of Tricky Dick by Dan Hedaya, and it’s a light and entertaining take on political corruption and the well-worn story of becoming disappointed with heroes and leaders. – Christopher Campbell

Election (directed by Alexander Payne)

Hear me out: Tracy Flick did nothing wrong. Over the years, Reese Witherspoon’s portrayal of an uncannily chipper, type-A teen who will stop at nothing to become student body president has been hailed as both a cultural icon and monstrous villain – but as a profoundly dorky and overachieving teenage girl who first saw Alexander Payne’s Election when I was Flick’s age, I’ve always felt a deep kinship with her. Matthew Broderick is disarmingly convincing as its (unreliable) protagonist, a beloved teacher who can only see Flick as a vindictive seductress after an affair with his married colleague (a situation we’d recognize today as statutory rape). In retrospect, it seems to occupy a strange in-between era of teen-media canon – its sour, biting portrait of high school politics takes after the pitch-black wit of Heathers, and yet its earnest idiosyncrasy also recalls later, weirder works like the great American Vandal. It’s the rare kind of comedy whose sense of humor is dazzlingly sharp and yet never feels mean-spirited. – Aline Dolinh

Eyes Wide Shut (directed by Stanley Kubrick)

Stanley Kubrick’s final film is a salacious peekaboo exploration of the sexual desires hidden within the minds of our significant other. We recognize the deep, dark secrets that lurk inside our own fantasies, but we dare not ask our partners what delights they crave. What’s the password? You do not want to know. Eyes Wide Shut peels the curtain back on the lust that fuels humanity. The film is made all the more dangerous by casting real-life married couple (at the time anyway) Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in the roles of the husband and wife reeling from the revelations laid bare after one admits their carnal wants. Their bedroom confrontation is an exposed vein that the audience both recoils from and salivates towards. We should not be privy to such horrendous intimacy. Kubrick’s passing and the prudish controversy surrounding the centerpiece orgy marred the initial response to the film. The longer I’ve sat with Eyes Wide Shut, the more time it has wormed its way into my relationships. Don’t wonder what’s going on in your lover’s head. Ask. Or suffer the torment. – Brad Gullickson

Fight Club (directed by David Fincher)

Before it became a stereotypical Film Bro signpost, this fantasia of runaway masculinity was a pulsating, bloody, controversial revelation. An essential entry into the filmographies of Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter, it was also the movie that gave David Fincher his biggest early push toward his current label as a modern auteur filmmaker. Love it or hate it, Fight Club is a pop cultural touchstone, referenced for its quotable dark humor, brutal offhand violence, anti-Capitalist ideology, and above all else, its wildly surprising ending. First and foremost, though, I think Fight Club is an example of what filmmaking can look like at its most technically brilliant. It was the movie that made me fall in love with the aesthetic side of cinema, the technical aspects which separate film from other mediums of storytelling. As with Fincher’s later works, Fight Club makes use of sounds and sights, colors and cuts that flow seamlessly together, fluid and visually dynamic, to create a rich and distinctive moviegoing experience. – Valerie Ettenhofer

Galaxy Quest (directed by Dean Parisot)

1999 was a simpler time on the verge of being more complicated. It undeniably had its eye to the future, but its special effects and grasp of a swiftly changing technological landscape haven’t all aged amazingly. Galaxy Quest actually holds up surprisingly well, but it does make for interesting viewing 19 years later. In 1999 the internet was still a new phenomenon, not yet a place where everyone and their dog had an opinion on your favorite sci-fi show. The film’s main plot, that an alien species have mistaken a tv show for reality, is inherently clever and funny, but seen from 2018, when all-consuming fandom is more visible than ever, it doesn’t feel quite so… otherworldly. That’s what makes it obligatory viewing for the end of the millennium — now officially older than its long-canceled titular show, it offers a prescient view of the world that it almost certainly didn’t intend. It’s a time capsule of accidental speculation. It’s also a fun space adventure with a lot of heart and Alan Rickman, so if you’re not in the mood for reflecting on how the world has changed drastically since your birth, you can still have a great time. – Liz Baessler

Girl, Interrupted (directed by James Mangold)

There truly aren’t many films exploring the motives and psyches of teenage girls, but alongside other 1999 releases such as 10 Things I Hate About You and The Virgin Suicides, Girl, Interrupted furthered the presence and dimensions of young women on-screen. In classic Winona Ryder style, she undertakes the role of an interesting, intellectual, and misunderstood adolescent, namely Susanna Kaysen, an eighteen-year-old who has found herself admitted to a mental institution following an overdose. She finds the women around her (an incredible supporting cast in the form of Brittany Murphy, Elisabeth Moss, and Clea DuVall) both relatable and frightening, revealing the inner prejudices she holds within herself. The real challenge Susanna faces, however, is the charisma and allure of sociopath Lisa Rowe (Angelina Jolie’s Oscar-winner, and an icon on every teen’s Tumblr dashboard circa 2012). Underneath the powerhouse cast and vivid identities, however, is a focus on mental illness and coming-of-age that makes Girl, Interrupted a seminal piece for anyone trying to navigate their place in the world. Susanna is the narrator of the story in place of the audience’s inner monologue, skipping with us through the highs, and tugging us out of the lows. It shows, frankly, that with therapy, recovery is possible. It also emphasizes the importance of friendship and the solidarity of women, providing a depiction of troubled teenage years with an absorbing and truthful force. – Anya Hudson

The Iron Giant (directed by Brad Bird)

When Brad Bird’s directorial debut about a boy and his giant robot from outer space hit theatres on August 6th, 1999, it was a critical success. But Warner Brothers hadn’t had the first idea how to advertise it, and it opened in ninth place at the box office. And in all fairness, The Iron Giant doesn’t exactly fit into a marketable mold. That’s one of the film’s strengths. It’s based off a children’s story that Ted Huges wrote to comfort his children after the suicide of his wife, Sylvia Plath. It’s a Norman Rockwell-inspired political parable about a young boy befriending a metal monster who, despite his programming, doesn’t want to do harm. It had something to say about fear-mongering, violence betting violence, and the cost of peace—and it said all these things without talking down to young viewers. At its core, The Iron Giant is a story of empowerment, not as myth or destiny, but as a choice. You are who you choose to be. You can be gentle, you can defend, and you can be kind. You can be superman. – Meg Shields

Magnolia (directed by Paul Thomas Anderson)

Magnolia is significant in the 1999 canon for several reasons. It is arguably Paul Thomas Anderson’s best film. It has an ensemble cast that rivals some of the best actors and actresses of our time. And frankly, it contains one of the best performances from Tom Cruise. That alone would be a feat, but Magnolia is an untraditional epic that proves that nothing is written in stone. Anderson uses a short story to present audiences to the idea of strange phenomenon. An unsuccessful suicide turns into a murder by the most unlikely circumstances. That is the theme that runs through Magnolia, unlikely circumstances. Donnie Smith (William H. Macy) was a former quiz show winner whose moment of fame passed him by. The man who hosts that show, Jimmy Gator (Philip Baker Hall), has his own issues as he is slowly dying from cancer. And these two are connected to other members in the cast through coincidences. Anderson has waned back and forth on whether Magnolia is his masterpiece, but regardless of opinion, there is no denying the power of the film. Add in an iconic score by Aimee Mann — and did I already mention Tom Cruise’s performance? — and you have a movie experience quite unlike any other. – Max Covill

The Matrix (directed by The Wachowskis)

Notice how in almost every action movie there will be a slo-mo fight sequence where the protagonist is dodging bullets left and right? You can thank 1999’s The Matrix for that. Though, admittedly, later films may not exactly do it justice. Moving past those iconic visual effects (known more familiarly as “bullet time”, undeniably made most famous by The Matrix though it can be found in its predecessors) this movie is a wild ride that defined the action genre for years to come. The use of sophisticated fight scenes, heavily featuring a martial arts fighting style as per its Hong Kong cinema influence, along with incredibly complex and unique worldbuilding, The Matrix has firmly secured its spot in pop culture legend. What’s more, Keanu Reeves shines as hacker-turned-rebel against the machines, adding sci-fi badass to his already notable film career. His journey as Neo takes you from sympathizing with his 9 to 5 struggles (a good juxtaposition, as the side gig as a career cyber-criminal was probably less relatable) and seeing apart of yourself in a character going through the gray-tinged motions of a salaryman, to wanting to be him. Who wouldn’t want an alluring, mysterious stranger to plunge you into the realities of a dystopia, introducing you to a cyberpunk cult who gives you the choice to change your perception of the world forever? It seems much more appealing in The Matrix, I promise. The Wachowskis’ most famous achievement, this is a film much better viewed than dissected, particularly at the risk of revealing an amazing semi-plot twist. It’s more than just a pop culture phenomenon, still able to stand tall in 2018 as the perfect combination of action film technique and sci-fi storytelling prowess. While the gothic, cyberpunk look of the costumes and character style may admittedly date itself, the core and general appeal of the movie hold strong. Where else can you find Reeves entering a technological-underworld, filled with the expected futuristic elements coupled with a grungy exterior⎯ while also battling cryptic agents and practicing kung-fu. – Kendall Cromartie

The Mummy (directed by Stephen Sommers)

Two sequels, four Scorpion King spin-offs, and an ill-fated reboot may have diluted the Universal Mummy brand, but Stephen Sommers’ original summer blockbuster is still as ruggedly charming as its lead. Brendan Fraser is at the peak of his dopey charm here, and Sommers rips off Indiana Jones with freewheeling ease, forgoing scares in favor of all manner of swashbuckling adventure, complete with a climactic sword fight with an undead army. There’s no sweaty cinematic universe-building to be found in The Mummy, just good old-fashioned grave-robbing fun. – John DiLillo

Peppermint Candy (directed by Lee Chang-dong)

There are plenty of light and fluffy movies I love, both from the US and elsewhere, but my heart belongs to darkness. (On the screen at least… I’ll stick with light and fluffy in real life.) South Korean cinema is better than most at scratching this particular itch, and Lee Chang-dong’s beautiful but devastating look at his own country’s recent history does it in brilliant fashion. Like the more well-known Irreversible from three years later, Peppermint Candy magnifies the story’s drama and emotional effect by playing out in reverse chronological order. We start with a broken man screaming on a train track as the locomotive rushes toward him, and we work backward through his life to the young idealist he once was. It’s a personal tale of one man’s disappointment, but the events he experiences also tell the story of South Korea’s own growing pains as a young democracy. It’s a smartly crafted punch to the heart, and it’s one of 1999’s best films. – Rob Hunter

Ratcatcher (directed by Lynne Ramsay)

Too often in conversations of a year’s best films are international works forgotten. For this reason, if you’re looking at 1999 in movies, Scottish writer-director Lynne Ramsay’s feature film debut Ratcatcher is a must-see. The film is set in 1973 and tells the story of James, a young boy living with his family in a run-down housing scheme in Glasgow during the city-wide garbage strike, leaving the already dilapidated residential units in worse conditions ever. By exploring the minutiae of the sensitive James’ daily life, Ramsay creates a film that delivers an incredibly thoughtful and powerful meditation on ever-relevant themes of poverty, guilt, secret-keeping and human connection. – Madison Brek

Ravenous (directed by Antonia Bird)

It’s been a slow climb to respectability for Bird’s 19th-century cannibal classic. Universally panned on its release – the film was called a ‘stupid black comedy’ and ‘material that’s often better suited to a Monty Python skit’ – Ravenous has slowly risen in the esteem of horror fans and earned a spot as one of the better horror films of the last 20 years. And for good reason: not only does Ravenous feature the kind of onscreen talent normally reserved for high-profile chamber pieces, it also contains one of the most memorable soundtracks of any decade, a pop-infused cacophony of period instruments and chanting (co-written by Blur and Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn). Equal parts black comedy and superhero-horror hybrid, Ravenous is the kind of movie that was meant to get better with time. Here’s to the cavalcade of anniversary pieces already scheduled for next spring. – Matthew Monagle

The Straight Story (directed by David Lynch)

There’s art-damaged David Lynch, there’s network TV David Lynch and even big studio David Lynch, but what if the best David Lynch is the one that Disney randomly bought at Cannes the summer of ’99 and which remains the director’s only G-rated entertainment? Shot along the route that notable Iowan Alvin Straight took by lawnmower to see his brother over in Wisconsin a few years before, The Straight Story tells this tale with the kind of look-in-your-eye sincerity that Lynch had for so long only been able to perform in various tediously ironic costumes. Richard Farnsworth, a stuntman who once played Matthew in Anne of Green Gables, is Straight, exalted here as an ordinary joe stubborn to the progress of time and old wounds. One finally triumphs over the other when Straight decides to reconcile with an estranged brother two states away, who appears, as-who-else but longtime chum Harry Dean Stanton. Because of Straight’s decimated vision, the local Man tells him he can’t drive and god knows no All-American will be caught dead on a bus in those 49 states, so Straight hitches up a lawnmower from the local John Deere affiliate and off he goes, with longtime Lynch collaborator Angelo Badalamenti scoring this to an ambient take on that era’s popular The Oregon Trail 3rd Ed.-music. What follows is an epic Odyssian tale that offers Oscar-nominated real pain and real country patois. It was perfect for the comedown from the summer of Woodstock ’99, and it’s perfect for right now, the clouds gathering and you can see them far-off if you look, before another summer of infinite bleakness. – Andrew Karpan

The Virgin Suicides (directed by Sophia Coppola)

Sofia Coppola is known for her vested interest in girlhood and female experiences, and she’s been committed to this since her debut film in 1999. The film is haunting and achingly beautiful in its depiction of the events that led up to the Lisbon sisters taking their own lives, all before they turned eighteen. It is intimate and empathetic, characteristics that Coppola frequently employs well, but unlike her other films that take the perspectives of her characters as they grapple with loss and disillusionment, The Virgin Suicides never fully breaks through to the Lisbon sisters, leaving them as mysteries without answers, asserting how difficult it is to know each other but how important it is that we try to. Every time I revisit the film I find a new detail that reminds me how much I love Coppola as a filmmaker and how grateful I am for her work. – Anna Swanson

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Posted by DemarioMarks on 2018-06-12 21:59:45

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