#american korean anon

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/743956303944318976/so-i-the-jm-lukewarm-anti-is-back-i-saw-that?source=share

I was asked in the comments to contribute my opinion. The other members have said themselves that Jimin is the most traditional and conservative when it comes to the hierarchy of respect. He's said to be the one who adheres to honorifics, for example. He has been seen scolding both JK and Taehyung when he thinks they step out of line in that regard. He takes a big brother, caretaker approach with Taehyung despite there being only a few months between them and despite the fact that Taehyung actually acted in a protector role himself towards Jimin when they first met, they seemed to have settled into that natural dynamic of Jimin acting somewhat like an elder towards Taehyung. This is usually a sign of someone who does subscribe to the traditional culture of respect. You can contrast this with how Taehyung treats JK much more equally, however if the assumption is that they're dating then this might not be the best comparison since their interactions will be skewered by a different kind of intimacy and closeness.

Perhaps a good example might be a pairing like Jin and Yoongi or Jin and Namjoon. You'll notice that Jin very rarely, if ever, reinforces the honorific standard on his own behalf. We saw him undermine Jimin's attempts to remind Taehyung of it during their fight and said it didn't really matter. However, he will 'pull rank' if it's to benefit one of the others, especially the younger members so this strikes me as Jin being someone who either doesn't feel a personal connection to the traditional ways and doesn't see a benefit in them or he actually enjoys rebelling against them.

How a Korean holds themselves does tie in closely with how they lean traditionally. As a conservative culture, strong displays of individuality or assertiveness are not viewed as positives or within keeping with social harmony

Taehyung and Jin, for example, who have shown a more lax approach to honorifics are also known for being the most likely to hold their ground against the company and openly take swipes at HYBE or display sarcasm and boldness and a determination to do what they want. They are more likely to openly rebel against what is expected of them but guaranteed, there are those who will use this to negatively define their personalities the same way agreeability is used to negatively define a person in others.

Jimin and Hobi, who is also said to be quite the disciplinarian with the younger members, are more likely to think carefully about how they come across because how they present themselves ties into their idea of respect and how much of themselves they feel comfortable showing. It's telling that members have pointed them out as having the 'scariest' tempers.

Neither approach is right or wrong. It's just a personal matter. Some people are more guarded than others. Some people are more stubborn than others. You'll find people who admire or condemn these differences in personalities based on their own. I admire Taehyung and Jin's assertiveness. I also think being guarded is a smart choice in their industry.

Regarding the accusations about Jimin being fake or a company man that I've seen throughout the years, that's an unfortunate consequence of carefully and wisely curating how you want to appear to the world but we also have to consider the context to see if its fair to label him as such and I don't think it is because if you take a group of 7 individuals, each with their own ambition and emotions, is it really likely that they're all going to speak so highly of a member who throws them under the bus to advance himself? The members themselves have told us that Jimin is one of their greatest supports, he is their shoulder to cry on---we've seen examples of this with our own eyes.

Does that really sound like someone who never sticks up for his friends or just leaves them floundering to suit himself? Is that the kind of person that anyone would really trust when they are at their lowest emotional point.

Jimin might appear to be the most reasonable member the same way Hobi appears to be super laid back but behind Hobi's sunshine, humor and bubbly personality is a person who can be just as focused and serious when he needs to be.

And I would guess the same applies to Jimin since there must be some reason why the others, even Namjoon, view him as so strong and sturdy that they turn to him for support. This is not the kind of man that trembles and turns his back on his members when they need him most.

Who they show us is unlikely to be who they are behind the scenes. The same way do we really believe Hobi is 24/7 smiles and laughter?

Each member decides which parts of themselves they want to show and which parts they don't but, to me, BTS has always seemed to take their group first mentality very seriously and that means even in the face of the company. I really couldn't think of a single member that I would imagine putting the company above their members or working with the company against the best interests of the group. We have heard how the members take a 7 or nothing approach when it comes to agreeing contracts and re-signing and I think the fact that they are still visibly close and comfortable with each other after so many years is a good sign that they carry it through.

So in conclusion, if Jimin was all the things people say and think he is, why would anyone else in the group trust him or have confidence in them to share their deepest feelings with him? You would think after 10 years of being screwed over by a company man, the others would have learned their lesson and kept their distance but we know that they don't so isn't it more likely that there is no weight or legitimacy to this kind of thinking? Since people tend to even instinctively veer away from people who throw them under the bus not get closer to them.

Hi again anon!!

Thanks for this! So insightful!

[tosahobi-if]

In a college!au, what would the ROs major in? And how would they meet the MC? (And begin to fall for them??) 🙏🙏🙏

jinwol would definitely be doing a double in economics and business as a foreign exchange student he's loaded two grades above the mc! i genuinely think there'd be some level of chance in your first meeting like him crashing into the mc and spilling coffee all over them. cue the two of you seeing one another on campus and him waving at you until you finally get the chance to talk again at some function and there's a Nice Mood going on (≧▽≦)

yul strikes me as a cs kid with a minor in humanities who ends up going to med school. this is a very specific vibe but ifykyk HAHAHA i think it would be cute if they were an underclassman in a club the mc was in too, and the two of you become good friends really fast. maybe a little too fast but that’s not that important. right? (someone pick up what i’m putting down)

iseul would be recruited for athletics and would be majoring in something like sports medicine? ajdjjd i don’t actually know but she’d be in one of your classes to fulfill a credit and the single interaction you’d have with her is picking up her pencil after she drops it. she’d wave at you every time she saw you after, and it’d be like “mc how do you know iseul?” “I DON’T?” i think in a college!au she’d ask the mc out for a coffee first and it’d just snowball from there (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･���

??? gives me the vibes of your grad-student coworker at whichever part time job you want to imagine. either way you’re both making minimum wage, so you’re confused as to how they’re finding the time and money to travel around the world so frequently. (you’re pretty sure they’re selling adderall on the side, but you’re too scared to ask.) i think the two of you would have one of those relationships where you haven’t put a label or actually talked about your feelings, but at one point you find yourself making plans to move in with them and go huh HAHAHA

[doodlboy]

Oc dressed as royalty for the doodle ask thing?

Specs in a traditional 곤룡포 [Kings Suit] ^^

[hippopotamusdreamer]

Period Reds

genre. [F][C]

warnings. Talks about periods; as in MENSTRUAL CYCLES. No actual mentions of blood but it does talk about tampons, pads and cramps.

additional notes. Female! Reader | You/Your pronouns, reader is aged between Hyunjin and Han, includes all members of Stray Kids in some way, Lee Know as Minho

This was a request by an Anon!

Hope you don't mind that I tweaked it a bit!

pairing. OT8 x 9th member

w.c. 1.1K

synopsis. It's that time of the month again, so how do the boys handle it?

Kpop Masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

Waking up, you knew that that day was going to be a problem.

You’d started your period yesterday. And as usual, Day 2 was always the worst for you. Everything felt twice as difficult. Lower back pain? Unbearable. Cramps? Unbearable. Overwhelming urge to not move? Unbearable in your line of work.

Not only did you have to waddle to the bathroom like some sort of deranged cowboy, but the ondol in the apartment stopped working at the beginning of month so your tootsies were cold. Your mother had always nagged that your cramps were worse because you were barefoot on the cold floor. You hated every second you were out of bed…

Not to mention your lower half needed a soak but the unfortunate thing about Korean bathrooms was that there was no tub. Just a double filtered showerhead attached to the sink.

At least the water heater worked…

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

After allowing the discomforts of this morning literally go down the drain, you found yourself holed up in one of Binnie’s pullovers. Not wanting to be confined to your room, you made your move. Fuzzy socks and house slippers on, you trudged your way to the living room, the plush couch calling your name. Everyone was out for the day besides Hyunjin since it was one of the rare days off.

Speaking of Hyunjin, the couch was where he found you not even fifteen minutes later of laying down. Half asleep and cozy with s Pochacco blanket that remained in the living room. The title song of some random Netflix show playing on the tv nearly lulling you to sleep.

As he dried his hair with a towel, he made his way to you. A pep in his step until he saw how your eyebrows remained furrowed. Kneeling by your head, he touched your forehead while calling out to you gently.

“Y/N-ah?”

“Mm?” you roused softly.

“You ok?”

“Mmhmm”

“You don’t feel warm, so you’re not sick…at least not yet.”

“’m not sick Hyunjinnie. My uterus is just mad at me for not being pregnant,” you mumbled.

“Oooh,” he says, already used to how casually you talked about your period with them. With that new information squared away, he took out his phone to message Minho.

‘We have a Code: Empty Nester’

Minho hyung: How is she?

‘Image.png sent’ Minho-hyung: Ah it’s day 2 Minho-hyung: Give me 20 minutes. I’ll be there soon. Minho-hyung: Message Felix too ‘Ok’ ‘Lix, we got a Code: Empty Nester’ Yongbokkie: Which day are we on? ‘2’ Yongbokkie: ‘2 ½ batches of extra fudge brownies coming up.’

Nodding to himself, he looked back towards you. You’d basically conked out on him, so he couldn’t ask you if you needed any of the American medicine you had. Instead he decided to do the next best thing.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Minho and Han walked into the rapper dorm; hands loaded with groceries for the soup that he was going to make for you. You’d commented once that it had settled your stomach when he’d whipped it up the first couple of times during your period. So now it was basically a staple during these times.

They were rendered motionless immediately after taking off their outside shoes. Through the opening that lead inside the apartment, they were able to see you and Hyunjin asleep on the couch. Somehow Hyunjin had managed to wiggle himself behind you and had essentially koala wrapped himself around you. They silently chuckled as they walked past, careful not to make a sound. It was common knowledge amongst them that you got terrible sleep any time you got your period.

The two of you stayed asleep until the soup was just about ready for lunch. Felix and Jeongin walked through the door, each carrying a kimchi container filled with brownies. Smiling as they watched you stir, Felix handed over his container to the maknae and made his way towards you.

“Hey sleepyhead,” he greeted softly while cupping your cheek as he crouched in front of you.

You gave him a delirious smile in return, still in the process of waking up.

“You hungry?”

“I am,” the muffled voice of Hyunjin was heard from behind you. The two of you giggle as the lanky man detangled himself from you.

“Minho-hyung made your favorite-” the Aussie began.

“Soooup,” you cut him off with a croak.

“Haha, yeah soup. And I made brownies.”

“Extra fudge?”

“Of course, I’m not a monster.”

“You guys are the best,” you said with your best half asleep smile.

“Wanna get up?”

“Yeah, just give me a sec,”

The other thing about Korea was that tampons were not widely used in comparison to pads. So getting a box of 12 was not worth the price. Instead you had to wait for your friends and family back in America to send you a mega pack to keep over time. Which meant that you were able to feel everything shifting as you moved about.

Hyunjin helped you up slowly from your laid down positions. Occasionally having to stop every now and then. Until a sudden pain in your lower stomach had you take a breath in sharply. A few seconds of worried glances from the boys had you reassuring them that you were fine and that it happened every now and then.

“I’m gonna go freshen up first then meet everyone in the kitchen, ok?”

As you made your way to your bathroom, you heard Jeongin calling after you.

“Hyung said that him, Changbinnie-hyung, and Seungminnie-hyung were at the store picking up snacks for your stash. But then Sungminnie-hyung said that they were out of your chocolate covered sunflower seeds. They said they’ll be here in like 15 minutes.”

“Aww, tell them I said that’s ok and thank you!”

Phone in hand, you sat on the toilet. You couldn’t help but reflect as the sounds of the boys getting rowdy in the kitchen intensified. You were very appreciative of them and how far your relationship with each of them had come. How grateful you were for their understanding of you and your menstrual cycle. There have been plenty of childish men in your life that had tried to make you feel bad when talking about it but they were no longer worth your time.

Your guys certainly made everything easier to deal with.

You knew you’d gotten lost on your phone doom scrolling when a timid knock sounded from the door and Chan questioned if you were alright.

‘Uh-oh…’

“…I’ll be out in a sec!”

a/n. For my sake, 9th member will never be a different age than where she's at. Just to keep everything orderly.

Tag list: @elizalabs3

This in no way reflects the actual persons involved/based in this fic, nor their actual character. This is purely fiction.

© hippopotamusdreamer, est 2024. all rights reserved.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I discovered my best friend is following ARO on Instagram. When I confronted her over this horrific betrayal, she said, “I think I like her now!” My devastation knows no bounds.

I was discussing this with my boss, a fellow royal watcher, and we decided I need to make a PowerPoint presentation, complete with citations (we are lawyers, after all), “shining a light” on MM’s numerous atrocities and proven lies over the years. I thought you would be invaluable in such a venture. Any suggestions to include would be very much appreciated!

Old ask from March 18th

Ok, so I didn't mean to sit on this one for (checks calendar) 6 MONTHS. ohhh, that's worse than I thought. Sorry, anon. Your ask got completely buried.

Anyway. I actually have been keeping a list of Meghan's lies and falsities. I don't remember when I compiled it (I feel like it might've been a 2022 thing) and I forgot I had it for a very long time. We'll probably need to crowd-source some updates to this list.

So buckle up, y'all.

Grew up an only child

Never had relationships with Sam or Tom

Grew up poor eating Sizzler buffets for splurge dinners

Didn't know who Diana was

Didn't know that Diana did Panorama interview

Lied about having a SAG card to be cast in Suits

That she was being written off Suits because she was marrying Harry

Doesn't have any family except Doria

Paid for college herself with student loans

International relations and theatre degrees from Northwestern

Merch tour of Aussie with Jess

Didn't want to serve Archie on a silver platter

Couldn't do a photo call at the hospital after Archie's birth

Wasn't in contact with Oprah

Wasn't working with UK Vogue

Lilac blazers

Couldn't wear the same color as anyone else

Could only wear neutral clothes

Wasn't dressing her child like a Victorian ghost doll

Going to get her UK citizenship

Gave up her Hollywood team

Spectacle wedding for the public

Eloped three days before with the Archbishop of Canterbury

Loves her engagement ring

Received permission from Queen to name her Lilibet

Loves Africa

Loves charity work and philanthropy

Red carpet for wedding

No tabloids in the US

All Americans have a 5am work ethic

Paparazzi chases

Plagiarism

Korean spas as a kid

Collaboration with Scobie on FF

People letter

Archewell donations and income

Family she never had

Gave up everything

IVF twins

Pregnancy announcement not at Eugenie's wedding

Loves kids

Dog too old to fly

Dog hit by car

Couldn't decorate with royal collection

Kate made Meghan cry

Warm friendly relationship with Queen

Best boss ever

She made her own banana bread

Suicidal thoughts night of Cirque du Soleil

Advised by Obamas

Children refused titles because of racism

She refuses children's titles

Pen pals with Hillary Clinton

Witnessed the LA riots

Independent grassroots journalism

Hit the ground running

5'5

worked at the embassy when she only attended a study program

Didn't know she had to curtsy to the Queen

Didn't know how to curtsy

BRF took her passport, car keys

Not allowed to go out unless just for work

Climate change/private jets

Evicted from Frogmore

Royal Family refused to help Meghan with her mental health

That Meghan was silenced

Privacy in LA

Archie was denied 24/7 protection because he wasn't a prince

Family gossip about Archie's skin color

Palace forced Meghan to take her name off Archie's birth certificate

Egg in wedding food

Not allowed to have scents in church

Meghan said the palace was locking up the birth certificate

Angela refused hair trials

Bond girl

Fire in Archie's nursery

Linked, not ranked

Archie too young to fly (summer after his birth)

Lied about her age (to work in Hollywood, narrative since corrected since marrying in)

Belly padding

Bot farms on social media

Miscarriage

Zoom calls with Cambridges during lockdown

Zoom calls with the Queen during lockdown

Flowers on Philip's casket at funeral were from Sussexes

Sussexes were invited to the Beckham wedding

Royal christening for Lili

Lili baptized

Invited to the diplomatic reception before The Queen's funeral

BFF/dog-walking buddies with Jennifer Aniston

Photoshops the children's appearances

Jimmy Fallon interview in Dec 2022

Time 100th Anniversary coverage

Bodyguard 2

she’d have 40 photographers taking pictures when she did Archie’s school run.

Sussexes declined invitation to Westminster wedding

She made the strawberry jam herself

50 jars of jam

"The Bench" was a bestseller

Visiting/staying with Oprah (Oprah was across the country at her father's bedside)

All the times she said she'd be a secret presenter at Hollywood award shows

Uvalde

Can't tailor her clothes to fit because they're from small brands/labels.

[lunarsights]

Can you do how TXT feels about a foreign poc thanks mamas :3 - 🧁 anon

𝙏𝙓𝙏 𝙤𝙣 𝘽𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙍𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙄𝙣𝙫𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙨

i asked this in terms of nationality and ethnicity based on members' backgrounds (ie. not counting white people and to an extent americans for hueningkai)

Yeonjun

𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲:

“Best Friend” by Saweetie (feat. Doja Cat)

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬:

King of Cups, Five of Wands (Rx), The Moon, The High Priestess. King of Wands, Three of Swords

Final Answer: Ten of Swords (Rx), Page of Swords (Rx), Death

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

the king of cups in tarot of the divine in connected to a chinese tale of the dragon pearl where a boy is faced with a famine in his land, but discovers a magical pearl that enables everyone to eat; in this tale, someone from the town becomes greedy and steals the pearl, and the boy eventually turns into a dragon forever in order to serve as a protector, so no one can be greedy over the land ever again. 

yeonjun could feel similar to this story when it comes to the idea of being romantic with foreigners; there could be set expectations for yeonjun when it comes to dating but especially in regards to carrying on family lineage in some way. with five of wands present he’s come to some sort of compromise with whoever is making him feel this way (maybe his parents? other older family members? even society itself could be the reason), but it’s kind of hidden with the moon being present. intuitively, it feels like a situation where maybe he’s allowed to explore with dating only, but when it comes to marrying he could be expected to only be with someone who’s korean or “heavily approved by [his] family”. yeonjun himself may be the type of person who “goes with the flow”, and he could usually (or currently) be described as the page of swords upright – someone who’s curious about those who are different from him, and he could want to interact with foreigners, but is in a state right now where that may not be possible. he could push back on this later on though because the image of a sunflower came through which can represent growth and possible happiness when everything is said and done. 

TLDR; he seems interested and might explore dating a foreigner, but not currently thinking of marriage due to restrictions

Soobin

𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲:

“Bye Bye Brianna” by Nicole C. Mullen

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬:

Eight of Cups, Seven of Wands, Four of Cups (Rx), Knight of Wands, The World

Final Answer: Two of Swords, Four of Swords (Upright and Rx)

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

one thing soobin could be opposed to is dating someone within his own industry. with eight of cups and seven of wands together, soobin could have experience approaching people who are korean and not really receiving or being in relationships he’d actually like to be in. he could feel a little bored with the dating scene there, so being romantically involved with foreigners sounds “interesting” to him. he could already be exploring this option (at least with flirting – not sure how far things have gone) and could be in the mindset of  “love can be found anywhere.. with anyone”. the song “Mrs. Right” by Mindless Behavior comes to mind, and that song basically describes the singers being willing to “travel all across the world” to meet the person they’re meant to be with; this could be soobin’s thinking.

  TLDR; maybe; currently interested

Beomgyu

𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲:

“Crew” by Goldlink (feat. Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy)

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬:

Ace of Swords, The Fool, Temperance (Rx), The Moon (Rx), Queen of Wands (Rx), The Emperor (Rx), Queen of Swords

Final Anwer: The Hermit (Rx), The Empress

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

beomgyu also seems to find foreigners intriguing; he could feel as if being around them gives him new ideas and new ways of thinking. “a whole new world” comes to mind and although this captivates him at one point in time this could’ve made him reluctant to interact with them. he might’ve wondered whether or not he’d be compatible with foreigners or if they’d feel some type of way about him being famous (possible worries of them being jealous, having bad intentions, etc.). there’s an idea present in korea that foreigners are fun for temporary “relationship” things, but not so much long-term, so these thoughts might’ve clouded his mind; it seems his view was more maybe being told foreigners wouldn’t want to settle down with someone who’s korean as opposed to he shouldn’t settle down with a foreigner (although that might’ve been present too, but didn’t bother him as much). he eventually might’ve realized this isn’t the case, but he could still be a little worried about being rejected by foreigners. 

TLDR; interested, likely yes

Taehyun

𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲:

“How Great” by Chance the Rapper (feat. Jay Electronica and Chance’s cousin Nicole)

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬:

Knight of Cups, Page of Swords, The High Priestess, Page of Wands, King of Swords, The Star (Rx)

Final Answer: Eight of Swords (Rx), Queen of Coins, The Tower

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

taehyun could be someone who wants to be like a “knight in shining armor” when it comes to romance. he could be interested in entering the talking stage with foreigners to get a true feel for them; it’s almost like he still doesn’t have total concrete thoughts on how he feels about approaching them romantically. he could find foreigners interesting to talk to and engage with on a higher level (ie. talking about education, talking in order to learn more about one another, there’s a sense of ninth house energy in relation to astrology, but the dating aspect he’s still exploring. although he’s enthused and willing, it seems he thinks at the end of the day things wouldn’t work out. there’s almost like an air of insecurity when it comes to approaching foreigners – maybe he thinks he’ll be rejected? he could be working on this mindset though and having a tower moment where he’s building up his courage in order to approach anyways

TLDR; maybe, likely to try to approach at some point

Hueningkai

𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲:

“Partition” by Beyoncé

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬:

The Hermit, Six of Swords, The Magician, Seven of Wands, Nine of Wands, Seven of Coins

Final Answer: Knight of Swords, The Sun, Two of Wands (Rx)

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠:

hueningkai might be on a break when it comes to involving himself in romance; he could be more focused on his career right now with seven of wands coming out, but in regards to who he finds attractive it seems he’s looking for “originality”. the taboo associated with being with foreigners romantically may not be a thing that he cares about. he’s attracted to people who are themselves and other personality traits not related to ethnicity, nationality, or other things like that. he could have an idea that love is something you’re willing to experience some discomfort for if you truly love the person. there’s an idea you’ll work through anything if that care is really there. above all, he wants to be happy and because of that he’s willing to withstand possible backlash in order to experience the love and ideas of partnership that he has. this could be an idea he’s developed overtime - maybe seeing his parents’s relationship and the way that was viewed or something along those lines, but he’s pretty strong in his ideas as a result. 

TLDR; likely yes

[yoongihan]

We're Friends - Jeongin/I.N

for the blossoming love event by @skzwritingcafe

pairing: jeongin x femreader

genre: angst, fluff, light smut, friends to lovers

rating: M

word count: ~11k (don't ask)

warnings: light smut (heavy making out, mention of erection, wanting to have sex, etc.), language (f word mostly), underage drinking, reader is a year and a month older than jeongin (so 'noona' is used, she calls him 'agi'), he is taller than reader, actual romantic things happen between them when he's 17 and she's 18, as well as when she's just turned 20 and he's days away from 19 (if you have any issue with that, please ignore my story and move on), school is a weird mix of American and Korean education, mentions of Seungmin & Changbin, Jisung and Hyunjin make one major appearance, this is hella self-indulgent so you've been warned.

a/n: to my jeongin anon, this is so long in coming...I'm sorry. It took ages and it's ridiculously long. i hope you like it! to @jl-micasea-fics who told me it wasn't terrible, thank you. to any reader out there, it's a bunch of vignettes chronicling when they met to when feelings are finally realized, so about five years. this occurs in the same universe as I Adore You (though timeline-wise, this is earlier than Jisung's story) and A Big Neon Sign. you do not have to have read either of those though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In truth, the only thing you and Jeongin had in common was an older, athletic brother.

His brother was on the high school baseball team and so was yours. 

While your brother, Changbin was a senior, mentoring all the younger teammates, Jeongin’s brother Seungmin was your age, a sophomore; making Jeongin a freshman when you met him.

It sucks to be the younger sibling, stuck in the same high school as your older, much more appreciated sibling. 

You had your driver’s permit, but your brother was loathed to let you ever use the car, even when you promised that you’d just run home and come to pick him back up when practice was over. It was a clear and vehement ‘no.’ 

Illegal too, but still. 

You had Seungmin in a few classes. Not only was he good at hitting a ball with a stick, but he also kicked ass at Chemistry. Which was only good for you as he had gotten stuck as your lab partner for the year. You two worked well enough together (he did the hard stuff and you just listened to his instructions because none of Chemistry made sense to you; it was your parents’ stubborn insistence that had you in Honors), but you wouldn’t say you and Seungmin were close, or even friends. 

Just amiable classmates. 

Baseball pre-season started once basketball was in playoffs, and you were relegated to attempting to study while planted on a set of bleachers in the still-chilly weather. 

Unlike last year though, this time you have company.

In the late winter sun, his dark hair has an auburn tinge as he rests his chin on his hand, making his lips purse in pout. When your footsteps are audible above the last cars leaving the school parking lot, his head turns toward you so fast, you worry about his neck. 

You give a twist of your hand to say hi.

He sits up, eyes big behind his black-rimmed glasses and you can see him swallow as he waves back.

“Hi.” 

He has braces. 

You point toward the baseball field. “You have a brother out there, too?”

He relaxes slightly in the shoulders but tenses up again when you plop down on the same bleacher. 

“Yeah. Seungmin.”

“Oh.” You vaguely remember Seungmin saying he had a brother. “I have a couple classes with him.”

The younger boy blinks at you. “Yeah?”

You introduce yourself and gesture toward the field again, naming your brother. 

“Jeongin. I mean, I’m Jeongin.”

He seems jumpy, his hands gripping his knees. It’s surprising because you don’t think you look the least bit intimidating

You stare at the outfield, the hazy silhouettes in white and red before turning to Jeongin.

“I keep telling myself I can’t wait until I can drive myself, but then I remember I have to share a car with my brother which really isn’t  the freedom I was hoping for.”

He blinks a few times as though he needs a moment or two to process your words then he smiles. 

Okay, for a little freshman with braces, he’s cute. 

“I just got my permit, but Min-hyung barely lets me practice.”

You roll your eyes in solidarity. “Older brothers are the worst.”

He nods then shakes his head. “I mean, he’s not all bad.”

You laugh. “You can’t go back now, Jeongin. Older brothers, even when they are nice, are the worst. Especially athletes.”

The smile appears again. “A little.” 

“So, you don’t play?” You gesture back to the field.

He shakes his head adamantly. “Not my thing.”

“What is your thing?”

He shrugs again.

“Still figuring it out?”

He meets your eyes and you don’t know why you’ve spoken this much to a freshman boy, but you have and you think he seems nice. But when your eyes meet, you realize that it’s more than that.

You want to be friends. It’s a weird, deep-in-your-gut feeling that honestly terrifies you a little bit. 

“Yeah,” he says softly, “still figuring it out.”

—

It continues like that. Four days a week after school. You and Jeongin stuck together while waiting for your more impressive siblings to finish their impressive voluntary physical exertion. Sometimes you wave to him at the games, when he’s stuck between his parents, looking miserable. You stopped doing that when he told you his parents wanted to know if you were his girlfriend.

“I didn’t know how to explain that we were just friends.” He’s pouting at his science textbook.

“Just saying ‘we’re friends’ seems to be plenty explanatory.”

He snorts. “You’d think.”

You smile at him before looking over at his textbook. “Need help?”

By the time you can drive without supervision and baseball season is over you (his parents and your parents’ approval given eventually) give him rides home as Seungmin transitions into travel ball and private lessons. Jeongin doesn’t seem to mind having you as a chauffeur. You still have to get the car back to Changbin as he now does Track & Field (discus throwing, of course), so sometimes you just study with Jeongin; at his house, or the closest coffeehouse or diner. 

Your classmates (kinda friends if you think that just hanging out at lunch and sharing notes in class makes a friendship) ask you the same thing his parents do.

You iterate that you and Jeongin are friends. 

No one believes you, but you can’t be bothered with the suppositions. It’s nice to have a guy friend who is unrelated to any other part of your school life. 

Changbin’s graduation is around the corner, and you wonder if perhaps that’s the end of your brief, but nice thing with Jeongin. 

So, you ask him.

“I won’t be forced to stay after school next year,” you begin.

Jeongin looks up from his history textbook, his eyes glazed over behind his glasses. 

“No older brother.”

“Exactly,” you point at him with your milkshake straw. A little drips onto the plastic table, but you ignore it. “However, you are not so lucky. And won’t have your license till February, right?”

He nods then blinks a few times as he puts it all together. “Wait…would you…I mean, do you still want to hang out?”

You don’t know how to feel about his expression. It’s more shock than anything else. Is he unaware that he’s your friend? Is this something you have to explain clearly and overtly to boys? 

Changbin did tell you once that guys were idiots (it had been a ‘don’t ever date’ kind of convo, but you suppose it still applies). 

“Yes.” You refrain from saying ‘obviously’ at the end of it.

He smiles (and you will never tell a soul how much you like his smile, braces and all). “Okay.”

“However, once you can drive too…you have to drive me around sometimes, agi”

He nods emphatically after making a face at the nickname (you’ll always call him that). “Of course, yes, absolutely.” He takes a fry from the plate of them you have in between you on the table. “Good.”

“Good?” 

You see his face turn pink, and he quickly busies himself with history again. You let it go, but that moment still lodges itself in your brain; ready to be pondered over much much later down the road. 

–

High school is a drudgery, and you get through it with little to no permanent damage. You date once during your junior year, and your time with Jeongin decreases. It’s logistics, but you find you miss him. 

When you break up with him, you even mention that.

“Huh?” Jeongin is this time indulging in a milkshake.

“I didn’t have as much time to hang out with you. Since we don’t have classes together, it’s like maybe I saw you once or twice a month. For six months of dating him.” You make a face. “Didn’t like it.”

When he doesn’t say anything, you look up from your notebook to see that ever-familiar blush warming his cheeks. 

“What?” you say.

“Missed you too, noona.”

You graduate somewhere in the middle of your class and start the ever-exciting process of prepping for dorm life in the city two hours away, Jeongin comes along to help you pick out bedding and various other items.

“No.”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “No?”

He shakes his head. “You cannot continue to only wear guys’ jeans in college.”

“And why not?”

“Just…trust me?” He drags you toward the women’s section, and starts picking out jeans, and tops; piling them into your arms. “They actually have ‘boyfriend fit’ for girls, you know.”

“That seems stupid.”

He looks at you. “Don’t you want to up your fashion game a bit?”

“Jeongin, just cause you care about it, doesn’t mean I do.”

He says your name in a very disappointed way, his bright expression turning toward pouting. 

He knows you’re a pushover.

“Fine, fine. You get free rein for now. But know I’ll just end up in pajamas for most of college anyway. That’s the brilliance of college.”

He lights up immediately. “So we can get you some cute pjs too.”

You have created a monster.

–

When you say goodbye to him the day before you leave to move into the dorms, you realize something. As you hug him (which surprises you both because he’s not real physically affectionate, and you tend to respect that), you feel his hands at your back and the brief contact of his cheek on top of your head (when did he get taller than you?). He’s grown up a lot.

Which makes you feel a little weird.

You two break apart awkwardly and you have to force yourself to look at him. He’s glancing at the ground.

“I won’t be far.”

“I know, noona.” 

You swallow, feeling dumb for feeling as much as you do. 

“Don’t get too cool as a senior to talk to me.”

He meets your eyes then, making a face. “I don’t expect to be cool, ever.”

Maybe it’s the fact that you’re a little older, or maybe because you like to observe your peers almost like a zoologist in the wilds of high school, but you think that Jeongin very easily could be cool by current standards. 

He’s pretty enough. And interesting enough though that might be why he can’t be. High schoolers don’t seem to appreciate actually interesting humans. 

What if he gets popular and doesn’t need you anymore?

“Noona…” he begins, his hands deep in his jeans pockets. “Thanks.”

You feel your forehead furrow in confusion. “For?”

There’s the blush that he wears all too often. “Just…high school was better cause we were friends.”

Oh jeez. You better get back home or you might hug him again. 

“Yeah. Same.” You nod and take a step back. “I’ll text you when I’m unpacked okay? You want to visit the school anyway, right?”

“Yeah.” He also walks backward. “I’ll see you?”

Why do you kind of want to cry, too?

“Absolutely.”

When you get into your car, you linger before driving away, watching him walk back to his house. 

– 

Freshman year in college is a lot. Not with studies because you’ve always been pretty decent at that, but everything else. There’s so much more time available and that overwhelms you a bit. Classes take only a percentage of your day and then there’s new people, living-on-your-own assimilation, and well…parties.

You never went to parties in high school. You weren’t invited (no big deal) because your brother was Changbin and he was invited, but not the little sister. Again, it wasn’t a big deal as you didn’t know that you wanted to go.

But now, you could. Changbin’s at a different university entirely and no one (well, maybe one or two former classmates) knows who you are and there’s a lot of freedom in that.

So when you get invited to one, you decide to go.

But you ask Jeongin to come with. 

You both lie to his parents (you’re pretty sure you’re going to hell for lying to the Yangs because they’ve never been anything but nice to you) that he’s doing a college visit overnight. And yes, he’s visiting, but there’s no class you’ll be going to, even if the party is a Thursday night and technically you could have class on Friday (you usually do, but your Everyday Biology professor canceled class for something he won’t reveal (you suspect a convention for other science nerds), neither you nor Jeongin will be attending.

Your roommate spends 90% of her sleeping hours at her boyfriend’s place, so you know that Jeongin can crash with you. 

Though he seems a little nervous about it. 

“I washed and changed her sheets, okay?” you say. “I even asked her if it’s fine.”

Jeongin is staring at the bed (there are a lot of pillows for one person to be sure). “And she said it was okay?”

“She hasn’t technically answered, but it’s been two days. If she had a major issue, I would have received a text.” You walk over to him, take his overnight bag, and toss it on the bed. “See, you’re good.” 

Between his arrival and party time, you guys camp out in your room, catching up on everything and nothing. His senior year and he’s taking four advanced placement classes (he’s just as smart as his brother, though far more subtle about it), a girl he’s thinking about dating, but feels a bit unsure.

“Why?” You give up on the behemoth of Paradise Lost for your literature class in favor of this discussion. You know he’s gone on dates, but he doesn’t talk about it. Occasionally he asks ‘hypothetical’ questions about girls, but Jeongin’s always been pretty private about romance. 

“She’s not…” Jeongin presses his lips together, thinking. “We don’t have much in common. Like she’s a cheerleader.”

You know not all cheerleaders are the stereotype, but it’s hard not to make a face at that reveal of information. 

“It’s not like it’s a lifetime commitment, agi.”

He lets out a sigh. “I know. And it’s our last year, so it can’t go anywhere, so should I even start it?”

You shrug. “I’m not gonna tell you yes or no, but I think seeing the potential end before even beginning is on a level of cynicism not even I have.”

He laughs. “Fair.” He’s quiet again and you look back at the stupid epic poem you have to read and understand. “I’m nervous about kissing her.”

It’s mumbled, his words, but for whatever reason, you hear it clearly.

“Wait, what? Why?” You scoot to the edge of your bed. “You’ve kissed before…?” Again, not an oft-discussed topic for you both, but still, you’re pretty sure he has. 

This is definitely new territory for your friendship.

You also realize that you’ve missed seeing his blush.

“Yeah, but not like…kissing.” He emphasizes the last word, face pink. 

“No tongue?”

“Jeez, noona.”

“You brought it up,” you say quickly so you don’t blush in embarrassment.

He covers his face with his hands. “I know. And no. I haven’t. And it’s dumb and everyone has and I should be an expert at my age and–”

“Hey…there’s not ‘should be,’ okay?” you interrupt and move to sit next to him on your roommate’s bed. You pat his knee. “Your path is your path. Whatever speed you move is fine.” 

He turns to look at you and even a month apart has changed him. His face seems so much sharper; cheekbones, nose, and jawline. Even his eyes seem more mature. 

Your cute friend has become handsome. 

“If she likes you, she’s not gonna care about whether you kiss perfectly or not.” You pause, wondering if you should share, but you decide might as well. “Less tongue is always better, especially when kissing someone new.”

“Yeah?”

You nod, knowing you didn’t avoid your face heating from the convo, but he’s your friend. He should benefit from your experiences. 

“Hey, find someone to kiss tonight at the party,” you suggest even as your stomach twists oddly. “Risk-free, you know? Unlikely you’ll ever see them again and you can get the first-time nerves out of the way.”

He stares at you for a few seconds, almost long enough for you to call him on it, but then drops his gaze to his lap. “Yeah, maybe.” 

You lose Jeongin about a half hour after showing up to the party. You don’t mean to; in fact, you worry a lot when you can’t find him immediately. You work through the crowd (you had no idea your school had this many people honestly), searching for him (he’s decently tall, you should be able to spot him). He’s not in the kitchen with the drinks, nor, on the patio with the stoners, nor in the living area with the dancers…did he go upstairs?

Your heart is thumping so hard right now as you imagine someone drugging your dearest friend and harvesting his kidneys (which you can fix because he can just have yours) when you squeeze behind some couple making out by the stairs. You grab the rail to steady yourself (you had two shots, but you are very much a lightweight) before you run right into him.

“Noona!”

You don’t hear that all that well (wow parties are loud), but you see his mouth form the word and everything in you just calms down. You grab him by the sleeve of his very nice pullover and drag him away from the stairs and main crowd, toward a mostly isolated corner. 

“Fuck sakes, Jeongin, I nearly had a heart attack when I couldn’t find you,” you begin before stopping to turn toward him. As you tilt your head up to meet his eyes, you sort of lose your train of thought. 

He’s looking at you differently. 

“Are you…are you okay?” you manage to get out. Maybe it’s the dim lighting, or the alcohol, or even the pulse of the music that seems to sound all the same, but your heart isn’t returning to normal rate despite finding him. 

His eyes are so dark. 

He moves into your personal space, which is hella unusual because the boy loves his own space, his head dropping just a touch. You back up a few steps, but there’s a wall that stops you. You watch, wide-eyed, as he rests his arm on the wall just above you, bracing himself.

Oh god, he’s leaning.

“Noona…” he says and now you can hear it, even though it’s mostly just breath. He’s a lot closer than he was a second ago. “Didn’t mean to worry you.”

You should reassure him, but you don’t think you can speak. Not when his mouth is inches away. 

He has a really nice mouth.

“So…did you find someone to kiss?” you squeak. You’d reminded him of that right before entering the fraternity house. He’d still looked nervous but had agreed.

He nods before cupping your cheek in his hand. 

“Oh yeah?” you might start babbling in a second. “Point ‘em out to me and maybe I–”

It’s quiet all of a sudden. All the noise mutes when his lips touch yours, soft and seeking. You haven’t kissed anyone since your boyfriend of six months in your junior year, and it’s like you forgot how nice that simple pressure can be. 

For a second or two, his mouth is still, but then you feel his tongue graze your lips and you let him in without a single thought (pretty sure your brain no longer works) and he sweeps in. 

He’s had a few drinks himself. You can taste the sweet and bitter, and it’s intoxicating. His hand wanders from your face down your neck. Light touches that make you shiver and reach out to pull him close. Your hands catch him by the hips and you pull until he’s pressed against you. 

You had forgotten how good this can feel. And he feels especially good when he breaks away to press kisses to the corner of your lips. 

“Okay?” he murmurs. “Not too much tongue?”

Your body tightens at the low timbre of his voice. God, you want all his weight heavy on you, to feel every slant, plane, curve, and angle of his body. 

“Noona?” he prompts, already pulling away when you don’t answer. Your eyes open in panic and you slide your hands into his hair and don’t let him get too far. You can see he looks surprised, but you barely think about it, returning his mouth to yours. This time it’s your tongue that gains entrance, stroking his. You feel his moan, his hands sliding down your torso to your hips and behind. His grip pushes you against him so both of you can feel exactly how hard he is.

You wiggle, trying to find the friction that might release some of the tension that has taken you over. He gasps, his breath short; he turns his head to get oxygen, but you continue to taste him, your mouth along his jawline to his neck. You tug at the collar of his pullover to you can nip around his collarbone. His fingers dig into your ass when you bite a little hard. 

Fuck, you actually want to fuck your friend.

He whimpers your name and that’s when your brain starts to work again.

Fuck, you want to fuck your friend. 

You jerk back so hard that your head hits the wall, but it barely affects you. You can see the mottled red of his skin, from your mouth and teeth.

He just wanted to kiss someone and you just took that to a whole other level. 

“Jeongin…” you try to speak, though your panting is a bit much and your body is not happy at all with such an unsatisfactory ending. 

You crave.

His gaze is back on you, and there’s trepidation in those sinfully dark eyes and you hate yourself so much in this moment.

“I’m sorry.” Because what else can you say?

His lips part and you want to kiss them so badly, but apparently, your self-control has returned. 

“You’re sorry?”

You nod quickly, emphatically. “You were just practicing and I just…I’m so sorry.” You drop your head, the euphoria of what just happened morphing into absolute shame and misery. “You’re a very good kisser and I just got caught up. I shouldn’t have. I’m sor–”

“I get it.”

You peer back up at him. His hands have left you cold, returning to the pockets of his pants. He smiles at you, but you can tell it’s uncomfortable. 

You’ve made your friend uncomfortable. 

“I’m–”

His hand covers your mouth immediately. “Don’t say it again. I get it.” He meets your eyes before dropping his hand. “I think I want another drink.” And he walks away as you slump against the wall, your head hazy and confused and your heart aching. 

–

You don’t talk about it. He finds you sometime later that night, hand on your shoulder before he asks if you’re ready to head back. As you’ve been worried sick most of the night, you agree. You walk back to your dorm, shivering in the early fall wind. 

You don’t know what to say, so you don’t say anything. 

He sleeps in your roommate’s bed, several feet away from you, and your body hums at knowing he’s there. Despite the alcohol (now effectively out of your system as you didn’t drink anything but water after that ‘incident’), you seem to remember everything about him in perfect detail, your senses overwhelmed. 

It takes you forever to fall asleep. 

The next day is awkward, but neither of you comments on it, going to breakfast in the student union. You laugh actually when you see how happy all the food choices make him and though he grumbles at you making fun of him (you’re not at all…you just really like his smile and his joy), it feels like maybe it’ll all be okay. 

Never mind that when he gets into his family’s car to head back home, you don’t hug and though that’s not that unusual, it feels like you should do something and what you really want to do is kiss him again. 

It’s like you’ve opened up Pandora’s box and it’s full of Jeongin.

–

You don’t see Jeongin during winter holidays. You and your family travel to see relatives, and he disappears during the second half of the break to go with friends on a ski trip.

With his girlfriend.

His kissing apparently worked because you’ve seen a few photos posted with him and her. He gets tagged in a lot more of her posts than him posting, but yeah. The cheerleader and he seem to have worked out.

Which is good.

Even if you feel weird about it. 

You two still message each other from time to time. He often contacts you with a question about his college application or one of the teachers he currently has (you had them all before), but he doesn’t say much about his social life. Or his romantic life.

The day of the party seems to have been a one-off. 

So, when you see him right before classes start, it’s for all of ten minutes as he has to head to his girlfriend’s party. 

“I’m so sorry,” he huffs out as he jogs to where you are, leaning on your car in the high school parking lot. It’s a good meeting point, about halfway between your homes and you’re feeling weirdly nostalgic about the place. “I thought I could hang out for maybe an hour or two, but there’s this list of things I have to pick up and–”

“It’s okay,” you interrupt him, smiling. It’s so good to see him in person. Even if his appearance seems to be improving (not that it needed to) each time you do. His hair is wavy right now, still with auburn hints and though he could wear a puffer jacket and look more put together than you, he’s wearing a beige overcoat and looks like he belongs in a fashion magazine. “You look good.”

The compliment stops him from speaking for a second. The tell-tale blush showing up on his cheeks, the little tug on his ear. 

“Uh. Thanks.” He moves to stand next to you, also leaning on your car. “Did you have a good holiday?”

You shrug. “Mostly stuck with relatives who can’t remember my name let alone what I actually care about. But it was fine.” You cross your arms as the winter wind bites through your scarf. “Yours?” You look over him. “Doesn’t look like skiing ended too badly.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “No, though I stuck mostly to the beginners’ slopes. I’ll leave the physical prowess to Min.” He stares ahead at the empty outdoor lunch tables. “I had fun.”

You nod. “Good. that’s good. And…I mean, I see the posts. Stuff is going good with your…girlfriend?”

He looks down at you. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Never mind that you sounded the awkwardest you’ve ever sounded. “Good.”

“You don’t tell me much about uni, noona. Just the occasional, ‘this happened to someone I know’.” He gently elbows you. “Do you do anything other than study and go to class?”

“I sleep and eat too.”

“Noona.”

You shrug. “This coming from you, who never ventured out unless I made you…”

“Times change.”

His words hit you in the gut, almost like you can’t breathe for half a second. Times do change. The fact that talking to him makes you a little nervous, that you try not to stare at him, the twist in your stomach remembering that he has a girlfriend…all of it tells you that the friendship you cherished the most has changed. 

And seems unlikely to ever go back to the way it was. 

You hear a vibrating sound, deduce that it isn’t yours but his and keep your very melancholy thoughts to yourself. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and glances at the screen. 

“You need to go.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry.”

You force a smile to your lips. “It’s okay. Go drink and be merry. I’m glad I got to see you. Even if just for a little bit.”

He turns toward you, in so doing blocking some of the wind, and cocks his head in thought. “You sound sad.”

“Aren’t you? We have to go back to school tomorrow.” 

He chuckles and tugs on your coat sleeve. “Give me a hug and I’ll see you later.”

You don’t question that he asks for a hug, you’re not going to question any semblance of physical affection from him. You just wrap your arms around his middle and hold him tight. He’s so very warm and solid. 

You feel his chin rest on top of your head for a brief second before he draws back. 

“Take care, noona.”

“You too, agi.” 

–

Spring semester seems like a whirlwind. It’s all dead and grey in January and February, then everything speeds up like a roller coaster on its way down. You are grateful you focused on getting all the gen ed classes out of the way, but it makes for a chaotic focus during those months. 

The only time you actually talk to Jeongin is right after his birthday.

“Noona.”

You answer the phone without thinking, assuming your parents’ have called because no one from your generation calls on the phone. 

You pause at his voice. “Jeongin.”

“This gift.”

You wrack your brain about the present you gave him. It’s a mere 40000 won gift card because you aren’t exactly rolling it in at your part-time job on campus. You’re hoping he uses the gift card when he starts to get stuff for dormitory life because, honestly, back-to-school shopping for university (not counting overpriced textbooks) is the best thing ever. 

“That gift.” You wonder if you should apologize because it’s so small, but you know Jeongin. He is not obsessed with money any more than any young person is: wishing to have more, but unable to make it yet, wondering if it will bring all happiness like the world tells you so. 

“Noona,” he is not impressed with your cluelessness. “The attachment.”

Oh.

So one of the few friends you’ve made at uni, who you feel pretty comfortable with, is Jisung. You met him in freshman composition, and though your majors are massively and diametrically opposed, you two keep up. He’s in computer science and you’re in the social sciences (possibly anthropology, but who knows). He is constantly working on new ideas for apps, software, games; often starting one project one day and then abandoning it for another the next. 

The only reason you know this is because you often crash at their (he and his roommate Hyunjin) off-campus apartment. It’s quieter and less…well, dorm-y. Because of that, you see and hear about the constant line of projects come and go for Jisung. One of the projects that stuck around for a bit was what you sent Jeongin.

A digital fashion book (more like an online photo album, but the appearance was pretty slick, as was the way the pages turned, annotating photo captions and linking to original sites) entitled “What I’d Get Jeongin If I Had Money…And Fashion Sense.” 

You’d done your research, looking at recent trends and articles (okay headlines because you cannot read an entire article on fashion) and perused the interwebs for clothing pieces you thought might look nice on Jeongin, inputting it into Jisung’s program (with his help - only with the computery stuff…he was about as helpless as you about fashion) to create the final product. It was both a gift and help for Jisung with an assignment as he needed some example of what he’d been working on for one of his computer classes, you just changed Jeongin’s name for him to turn in.

“So you liked it?” you ask tentatively. You had second-guessed yourself a million times since sending it. Was it too much? Did it look like you paid way too much attention? Was it stupid? Was it a really bad representation of what his friendship meant to you? Were the pieces you picked all horrible?

There is a pause on the other end of the phone call. “It’s brilliant.”

You slump in relief, your head landing on your pillow. “Yeah?”

“No, really. This is cool. I like everything you picked out.” He chuckles. “Maybe my fashion has rubbed off on you.”

“We can only hope.”

He laughs again. “Really. This is…this is nice.”

You hear beyond his words. What you sent matters to him. And maybe in knowing that, he knows that he matters to you. 

The phone call doesn’t last much longer after that. You ask about how his birthday went, and he tells you about going out with his girlfriend and friends even though he kinda wanted to stay in. But it was fun and he doesn’t feel any different being eighteen. You promise to tell Jisung that he liked his gift (you’ve mentioned Jisung and his roommates a time or two) and that you’d be at graduation to see Jeongin in cap and gown. 

“And I’ll see you on campus next year,” he says as the call wraps up. 

“I know. I had no idea the film department here was something that interested you.”

“We’ll see. I like movies…and thinking too much about movies sometimes. Maybe it’s a good idea. Maybe it’s a bad one.”

“It’s just a choice, Jeongin. You can always change it if you want to.”

He sighs. “Yeah. Choices still have to be made though.”

You wonder if he has other choices on his mind and you want to ask, but you are still a bit reticent regarding what you can and can’t talk to him about. 

You wonder if his girlfriend knows enough about him to understand that he hadn’t wanted to go out for his birthday.

“I better go…” he continues. “Talk later?”

“Yeah. Talk later.”

“Thanks again for this…both gifts.”

You hang up soon after that and though you were in the middle of reading for class, you stare at your ceiling for a few minutes, wondering if having Jeongin on campus will either get you two back to the friendship you used to have or just spiral this crush even more.

–

You survive your freshman year. No flying colors on grades or anything, but acceptable passes, even a few above averages.  There isn’t much fanfare on completing your first year of college, but there is when you graduate high school, so you make plans to slip into the high school gymnasium on that Saturday after you move home to see Jeongin walk across the stage. 

He looks so tall.

You clap as enthusiastically as you can without bringing attention to yourself, though it doesn’t matter because quite a few students cheer for him (he did get popular). The whole ceremony is a weird thing to sit through once you’re on the other side, but the nostalgia is nice. 

Almost makes you think high school was a pleasant thing (it wasn’t, anyone who says it was you will never trust). 

When it’s over, you start to head toward the parking lot thinking that you’ll message him later, but you hear your name shouted. You turn to see him, graduation robe unzipped and flying behind him a bit like a superhero cape.

He bounds up to you, all smiles and joy. 

God. Look at him.

“Hi,” you say when he stops in front of you.

“You came.”

Now you’re the one blushing and embarrassed. You drop your gaze. “Of course. You came to mine.”

He makes an unimpressed sound. “Seungmin.”

You laugh and look back up. “Okay. You came because of Seungmin, but fair is fair.”

He hugs you. No warning at all. He’s as warm as the day is, right on the verge of too hot. 

“Congrats for surviving, agi,” you mutter into his shoulder before he draws back.

“Thanks.” He beams at you, clearly on a high of finally being done. “There’s a party tonight. Wanna come?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Of graduates?”

He nods.

“I…hmmm…”

He laughs at your reluctance. “Okay, noona. But soon. We’ll hang out?”

You nod. “Yeah. Go back to your family.” You ‘shoo’ him away. He laughs again before squeezing your hand. 

“Thank you for coming.” And he disappears back into the crowd of family and students. 

You walk back to your car, shaking your head at how much damn fluttering your heart did during that five minutes of interaction. 

–

The summer post-freshman year has been…normal. You work to get some extra money, catch up with a few high school friends who are home as well. 

But you spend most of your time with Jeongin. 

“Your girlfriend…doesn’t mind?” You ask him late in June after realizing that you have seen him three days in a row (he’s also gotten a job at the mall you work at; though he’s at a clothing store and you avidly blend smoothies for people).

You’re both on break (you and he may have tried to get your shifts at similar times so you can have lunch together) and he’s scrolling through his phone after finishing a box of fried chicken. 

“Doesn’t mind what?”

You poke at your pasta with your fork. “Us hanging out so much?”

He cocks his head to the side as he looks up from his phone. “Well…it’s not really a thing.”

“What’s not a thing?”

“She and I aren’t… a thing.”

“You’re not?” You’re so confused right now.

He shrugs. “She’s traveling all this summer and wanted not to be ‘tied down’ and I guess…” He trails off. “I guess it didn’t bother me that she felt that way. Which seems like maybe I didn’t want to be tied down either.” 

“Oh.”

He smirks. “We never talk about this, noona. Why are you so interested?”

You poke at your pasta again. “I just thought it was weird that you hadn’t said anything about her. That’s a big part of your life…a significant other.” You swallow. “I am trying to be a good friend here.” You lift your chin, daring him to argue.

He laughs and steals your fork to take a bite of your food. “Don’t try so hard. It’s weird.” 

“Thanks.”

He chews slowly before speaking again. “It’s okay, you know? I liked her, but it wasn’t…we weren’t…” he shrugs again. “We just weren’t.”

He meets your gaze.

“I’m okay.”

You nod. “Okay.”

He glances at his phone. “But you’re not because you only have a minute left.”

You curse and jump out of your seat, moving to clean up, but he waves you off.

“I got it, noona.” He smiles again at you and you just want to hug him. 

–

Life at university with Jeongin is something. You’re happy to have him near again. Neither of you has a single class together, but you never did in high school, so that’s not new. Whether by happenstance or an unconscious intention on both your parts, you make sure to have lunch or coffee with each other at least once a week; though usually twice. There’s something enjoyable about hearing his new experiences with classes and classmates, and dorm life. He shares things with you via messages but it’s much more fun to see his facial expressions and hear his voice intonations when he imitates a certain professor or classmate. 

You introduce him to Jisung (and subsequently Hyunjin) and they all click like they’ve known each other forever. They baby Jeongin a little bit and you know it gets on his nerves (you’re pretty good at reading his subtle tics when he’s with others), but he also seems to enjoy having big brothers nearby (you know he misses Seungmin because you miss Changbin even if neither of you wants to admit how much you love your older brothers). Sometimes you find out later that he’s been hanging out with them, without you, and though it’s annoying for him to steal your friends, you also don’t mind much because well…it’s Jeongin.

Who you might be a little in love with.

Perhaps that isn’t a revelation to anyone if they’d been inside your mind for the last year or so, but to you, it’s kind of a smack in the face. This is Jeongin, your best friend since he was fourteen and you were fifteen. You don’t believe in stories about childhood best friends to lovers as they always seemed a bit too idealistic to be real. You know that he can smell gross when he comes in from mowing his parents’ yard. You’ve seen him when he gets out of bed in the morning (nope, never mind that’s not a bad image and you need to stop thinking immediately). 

He’s just Jeongin, your friend who can be a little quiet, a lot savage, who loves fashion and movies and often looks at you like you’ve grown another head when you start talking about how eastern culture deals with death in healthier ways than western culture. 

You deal with this epiphany like you deal with most things: acknowledge it, but don’t do anything about it.

Winter break comes and goes with little fanfare. Jeongin tells you that he’s moving in with Jisung and Hyunjin and you make a face at him because why does he get to live off campus as a freshman when you’re still stuck on campus as a sophomore. You send a message to Jisung saying basically the same thing, and both of them assure you that you can crash there any time you need to get away and that they are protecting you by not letting you move in because they’re boys and are gross.

You’re somewhat appeased.

–

“A party?” 

Jeongin is nodding as Jisung spins in his office chair for no reason other than the fact that he has an office chair that rolls and spins. You’re on Jisung’s bed with Jeongin, avoiding your research work for an hour or so by listening to Jisung ramble on about some anime that he and the rest of the apartment have gotten into. 

You make a note to consider studying why animes capture teen and 20-something boys the way they do.

“We’re having a party,” Jisung repeats, like his mentioning it wasn’t out of the blue. “A welcome party for Innie, for the new semester, for the fact that none of us ever go to parties which shows just how pathetic we are in our college lives.”

“I’ve been to college parties,” you say before the weight of those words hits you. You try to glance at Jeongin without too much obviousness. He meets your gaze and you can’t hear Jisung’s words for at least a minute.

You look away, the memory of that party flooding your brain, your senses. You’ve kissed since then, haven’t you? A kiss isn’t that big a deal…even if you have feelings…it’s just a kiss. 

Jisung stops spinning in his chair and looks at the both of you. “What?”

You clear your throat. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit.” He points at Jeongin. “Spill.”

Jeongin has never been easily intimidated by anyone, especially Jisung. He points back. “No.” 

That doesn’t stop your hyperactive friend. “Ohhhhhh.”

Which annoys the shit out of you.

“Oh god, it’s nothing, okay?” You throw up your hands, frustrated that this event still holds so much sway over you. “He came out to visit last year, and came to a party with me, we both were drunk and kissed. That’s it. Just a drunk, dumb thing.”

Jisung starts cackling at your confession, but in your peripheral, you see Jeongin focus on you. 

“It wasn’t that dumb,” he says so softly that you don’t think Jisung hears, before getting up off the bed. “I have to finish watching two more silent films for class.” He cuffs Jisung on the head as he leaves the bedroom. Jisung rubs his head before looking at you. 

“So…you coming to the party?”

–

You’re in the corner of the hallway and living area of the guys’ apartment. You’re nursing a red solo cup of some concoction that Hyunjin handed you when you walked into the kitchen. You don’t know what you expected from this party, but this many people was not it. You apparently had blocked out the idea that anyone existed outside the bubble of the four of you though you recognize a fair amount of people milling about. 

So you could go talk to them.

But you stay where you are, watching. 

Your eyes find Jeongin more often than not (the radar you have for him is hella annoying). Currently, he’s talking to two girls you don’t know…maybe freshmen like him. They’re pretty; smiling and gazing at him like they see exactly how stupidly attractive your friend is.

You begrudgingly admire them for actually making their interest known. Even if you seethe just a little.

“Talking to people is not the worst thing, you know.”

“Go away, Sung.” You reply without looking over at him. You can see him sway slightly from drink, which explains why the introvert is telling you to go talk to people. 

He bumps shoulders with you. “But you’re one of my favorites.”

You smile and glance at him. “But I rank below Jeongin?”

“Everyone ranks below Innie,” he tells you. “You’re above Hyunjin, though. If that helps.”

You laugh and lean back in your little corner, glancing back at Jeongin and his two admirers. 

You can feel Jisung watching you, then at where you’re watching. He says your name quietly and you know, you just know that he sees exactly what you hope no one sees because he can be really perceptive. 

You shake your head, wondering if maybe what you’ve been drinking has had more of an effect than you realized. 

“I think I just want to kiss someone,” you say, knowing deep down that that isn’t the damn problem, but you can be stubborn and you could use a distraction. You finish up what’s left in the cup and meet Jisung’s gaze. “Ever thought about kissing me?”

His eyebrows shoot straight up, eyes go wide. “Um…yes?”

“Really?”

He shrugs. “I mean, I kinda think that about anyone I find hot. At some point.”

“That’s reasonable.” You tilt your head up. “Want to?”

“Just cause?” 

You nod. He shrugs again and leans in to press his lips against yours. Your eyes close and you can smell that he’s been drinking tequila. His fingers settle on your waist before his mouth parts and his tongue meets yours tentatively. 

Okay, he’s pretty good at this. 

“What is going on here?”

Hyunjin’s voice breaks the two of you apart, which is both a relief and an annoyance. Jisung mumbles something, face pink with embarrassment as you glare at Hyunjin. 

“You’re not that stupid, are you?” you ask him. He smirks at you. 

“Why are you kissing Sungie?”

“I kissed her,” Jisung protests weakly. “She asked me too.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“Kinda missed kissing someone,” you say, rolling your eyes before looking back to where Jeongin still was. One less girl, but they are a lot closer to each other. “Want to?”

As different as Hyunjin and Jisung are, they have both the same surprised expression when you proposition them like this. Eyebrows up, widened eyes. 

You reach out to grab the open collar of his shirt, tugging him a little. 

“Scared?”

He scoffs and braces his arm next to your head (kudos to him for that classic move) before meeting you halfway. You hear Jisung make some sort of nonsensical exclamation when Hyunjin immediately slips his tongue in your mouth. 

It’s good. Of course it’s good. Especially when your brain is a little hazy from drink and your body more than touch-starved. Hyunjin’s hand sneaks up under the hem of your top and you shiver.

“Noona?”

You jerk back to see Jeongin approaching this weird set-up with bewilderment all over his face. 

Hyunjin glances at his roommate and gestures toward you. “Your turn.”

Jeongin shoots a look at Hyunjin, then you, then at Jisung. Then you again. 

“What is going on?”

Your heart is pounding with his eyes on you. Even in your intoxication, you know that despite the talent Jisung and Hyunjin have at kissing, if Jeongin kisses you…

You brush it off, shaking away your hyperawareness of the tiny peek of collarbone you can see because of the wide collar of Jeongin’s t-shirt. 

Your teeth ache.

“Just wanted a kiss.” 

He doesn’t look away from you or the defiant lift of your chin. He moves close as Hyunjin draws back to let him and wraps an arm around Jisung’s shoulder, utterly amused. You can’t take your eyes off Jeongin’s mouth as he gets nearer. 

He doesn’t touch you. His hands stay in his jeans pockets as his lips brush your cheek so lightly that you aren’t even sure if it’s real. 

You ball up your hands into fists in a conscious effort not to grab him and pull him to you. Because as little as it is, his touch unravels you.

When your eyes open, he’s not looking at you, but pushing away Jisung who is attempting to kiss him. 

“Come on, if you’d kissed her lips it would have been an indirect kiss…Finally, baby boy!!” Jisung reaches out for the younger as Hyunjin snickers, trying to keep Jisung from mauling Jeongin. It’s playful tussling and it’s enough of a distraction for you to slip away. 

You toss your empty cup into the kitchen trash, avoiding bumping any of the party attendees as your heart tries to return to a normal speed. 

You find another quiet corner, this time on the balcony of their apartment. It’s chilly out there, so people only come out to grab a quick smoke or get a gulp of fresh air. You’re so quiet and unobtrusive that you’re only noticed about half the time. 

Leaving the party immediately after kissing three different guys seems too obvious, so you’re going to wait until it’s nearly one am before you make your respectable departure. You had planned to stay and help clean up while crashing on their couch but you can’t do that now. 

You can’t be near him when all your feelings just want to burst out. Burst out singing and dancing on the kitchen counter like a poorly-made musical.

You let your head rest on the brick wall behind you, the railing of the balcony digging into your hip. You don’t adjust away from the slight pain. The pain feels a bit deserved for your stupidity and it keeps the fogginess at bay. 

Maybe you need some space. Maybe seeing him multiple times a week is making this worse. Maybe distance would help you move on. 

Maybe falling for your best friend is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.

The sliding glass door opens and closes. You don’t look over, not wanting whatever random person to think that you want to engage in interaction. You glance at your phone for the time, thinking that you can probably make your exit now. You don’t even have to say goodbye. The guys will be too wrapped up in socialization to worry about you. 

You know it’s him when he leans against the wall next to you. He smells like his cologne and coconut rum. 

Your heart responds accordingly.

He doesn’t say anything for several seconds. Nor do you. You haven’t processed through everything yet. You haven’t gotten back to your usual self around him and if you speak, you know he’ll know.

And he can’t know. Because if he does, everything is irreparable and you can’t handle that.

He takes a deep breath before shivering. 

“You should put on a jacket, agi,” you say quietly. 

“You should too.”

You’re in a long-sleeve thin sweater, so it’s not as ridiculous as Jeongin in a t-shirt in February weather. 

“You don’t want to get sick before your birthday.”

You can feel his eyes on you then and it takes all your self-control not to look back. Because you know, you know that if you do you’ll just want to take his mouth, let your hands explore the planes of his body, feel his hair between your fingers, hear his sighs and groans, breathe in all of him so the alcohol you’ve consumed has nothing on the mere intoxication of him. 

Seconds pass. He shivers again.

“Go in,” you say casually. “I’m gonna head back to the dorm anyway.” You force your eyes up to make eye contact. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

His thumb is at your bottom lip before you have time to register that he’s moved. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip then the top as he leaves his spot to stand facing you. 

“Jeongin…”

He’s staring at you, eyes so clear in the night, not even glassy with tipsiness. He cups your chin with his hand, long fingers grazing your cheek. His other hand takes yours, fingers lacing together as the space between your bodies lessens centimeter by centimeter. 

“Don’t go,” he whispers with his lips mere breaths away from yours. “Stay.” He gently wipes your lips again. “I am not kissing Jisung-hyung or Hyunjin-hyung.” There is a petulance in his voice that makes you half-laugh despite feeling like you can’t move. “Why did you?” His gaze slides from your mouth back to your eyes. 

“I just…” How do you explain any of this to him? How do you put into words your feelings that you know you shouldn’t share? “I thought it would help.”

His hand tightens around yours. “Help what?”

“Not wanting to kiss you.” It pours out of you, like a dam that could never be held back. 

You see the curve of the edge of his mouth, the self-satisfaction. “Did it work?”

Words are pointless. He knows; you’ve basically admitted everything. Why is he asking? You can feel your entire body lean toward him as though he’s some sort of human version of gravity, pulling you. 

So you don’t use words. You just kiss his fingertips that are still lingering near. You hear the slight catch in his breath before he removes his fingers and covers your lips with his. His arm wraps around you, pressing you against him so tightly you think you can feel his heart beat against yours. His mouth opens, his kisses wet and hot and you can only cling to his shoulders, on your toes to meet this surge of want. 

Your brain shuts down and you can’t think. You can only focus on how he feels under your fingers, how he tastes (that coconut rum), the sound of his sharp pants of breath. When he draws away to gasp, you open your eyes to stare at his swollen lips. 

He is so pretty. 

You stumble closer, lips pressing along his jawline. He turns to kiss you again, letting go of your hand to slide under your thigh, lifting so your leg is at his hip. He rocks into you, making you break the kiss, and your head falls back against the brick. It doesn’t deter him, his mouth skimming down your neck, letting his teeth graze your skin. 

You bite your lower lip to keep from making a sound, though he must hear something because he looks up at you. 

With a smirk so damn knowing, he tugs you closer against him by your leg, pressing firm enough to make you squirm and he laughs.

He laughs.

It’s breathless, but you can’t help but scowl at him for laughing. He kisses your unhappy expression; your forehead, nose, and lips. He lets go of your leg, framing your face in his hands. 

“I changed my mind,” he speaks so softly. 

Your heart freezes.

“You did?”

He nods, his eyes darting back and forth over your features. 

“Don’t stay here. Let’s leave. Your roommate isn’t there?”

You shake your head (she’s never there) but it takes several seconds for what he’s saying to actually sink in. He’s asking. He’s wanting.

Oh. Oh wow.

“You want to–”

He straightens, his hands leaving your face and you grab one, afraid for him to be too far away. 

“I thought…” He swallows. “I thought you wanted to.”

He apparently cannot perceive how your body is thrumming.

“Jeongin…” You attempt to catch your breath. “We…we’ve been drinking.”

He rolls his eyes, though he doesn’t pull away from your grasp. “I’m not drunk. You aren’t drunk. I’ve seen you drunk.” He watches you for a second. “Do you want to?”

“Yes.” You close your eyes as what feels like the second confession comes out. “Yes. So much. But you…we…”

The balcony door opens then and several party-goers fall out onto the small space. He gets closer to you, as though you need a buffer between you and them. He drops his head so he can speak in your ear. 

“Let me walk you back?”

–

He grabs a jacket before leading you out of their apartment. He even grabs an extra of his hoodies to wrap you in before you even hit the outside. 

“Jeongin, I’m fine. It’s not that far.”

He doesn’t argue but zips up the hoodie for you and you just make a face at him. His answering smile is innocent, but then he takes your hand in his and starts to walk. You nearly trip after him, thrown by the ease with which he holds your hand. Like it’s nothing and everything all at once. 

You want to say something, the cold air is making any intoxication excuse for your blatant honesty about your feelings pretty null and void, but you can’t. You don’t know what to say. 

“At that party,” he begins slowly, looking over at you once. The streetlight is behind him so you can’t see his expression which doesn’t help your low-level panic at everything that has happened this night at all. “Last year. The party.” You see him swallow. 

He didn’t seem nervous five minutes ago, his teeth on your skin. 

“Yeah?” 

“You said you were sorry.” He pauses at the intersection, looking both ways before leading you along. “I thought that you didn’t like it. That you regretted it.” He takes a deep breath. “That you didn’t want me.”

You stop immediately so he is almost jerked back by your linked hands. You can see his face better now, more streetlights to illuminate. His features look sharper with the shadows cast under his cheekbones and along his jaw and neck. 

“Noona?” he prompts you because you’ve definitely forgotten what you meant to say in your staring at his unearthly face. 

“Oh. No. Um…” Now it’s your turn to take a big breath. “Fuck, Jeongin, this is…we’re friends and I don’t want to–”

“It’s way too late for that,” he answers, the same note of frustration in his words as in yours. “I can’t pretend that didn’t happen.” He gestures back toward their apartment. “That I didn’t want that.” 

Something tight in your chest loosens just slightly at his words. Maybe, just maybe.

“I said I was sorry because I felt bad. That I took advantage. That you were just trying to get some practice or experience and I like…mauled you.” You decide to stare at the sidewalk as it seems safer. “You were drunk and I just near assaulted you.”

You hear a snort, a laugh and that makes you look up at him. He’s covered his mouth as though that will lessen the fact that he’s laughing. Again.

You try and pull your hand away from his, but he’s stronger than you and just tightens his grip.

“I had no idea you were an asshole.”

He shakes his head, the laughing dying too. He tugs you close, arm wrapping around you in a hug. 

“You didn’t assault me,” he murmurs in your hair before pressing a kiss on top of your head. “I wanted you just as much as I hope…I hope you wanted me.”

That same knot in your chest loosens even more. “Really?”

He draws back so you can actually see him. “You didn’t know? You didn’t know that I’ve had a crush on you pretty much since we met?”

“What?”

He laughs again, but it’s embarrassed now, shy. 

“This pretty, older girl just starts talking to me and becomes my friend despite having no classes together, just two brothers on the same baseball team. Of course, I liked you.”

“But…” You try and wrap your brain around this information. “Your girlfriend.”

His smile saddens. “I figured, you know,…there was no way you’d ever like me back. Should try and move on.”

“I’m sorry.” The very idea that you could and did hurt his feelings makes you want to throw bean bags at past you. “I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t tell you. How could you know? I thought it was obvious.” He stares at you for a few moments. “Jisung-hyung and Hyunjin-hyung figured it out like four months ago.”

Were you that stupid?

“Come on,” he picks up leading you back to your dorm, which is a good thing because you don’t know if you could find anything with the way your brain is currently unable to compute. 

It’s really not that far and by the time both of you enter your dorm room, your brain is running again, but this time it’s on the entire ‘no roommate…you brought a boy home’ train. 

“Do…you want…uh…I think I have coke?” You undo his hoodie from your frame and set it on the small sofa that you have set under your lofted bed. You open the mini fridge, trying to remember if you actually have coke?

“Noona, I’m okay.” You can hear him sttle on the sofa, rustling of clothes as he takes off his jacket. “You okay?”

You shut the minifridge door and look over at him. His head is tilted to the side in question. 

“I’m…processing.”

He laughs and pats the spot next to him. “Process next to me.”

You do sit next to him, though it’s tentative. He gazes at you for several seconds before leaning in to kiss you softly, his hand coming to cup your chin. 

“Why are you still processing?” he asks, his lips not far. 

“I’ve kinda spent over a year trying to not think about you like that.” You kiss him back and he manuevers you carefully so you’re sitting in his lap, facing him. “Smooth,” you comment, feeling your face heat.

He smirks at you before resting his hands at your hips, squeezing them gently. You touch his hair, watching his face as his eyes close. You card your fingers through the strands, messing up whatever style he had going on this evening. He hums contentedly before opening his eyes again. 

“So…this is a thing.”

He laughs again and sits up, hands sliding to your lower back, eyes alight with mischief. 

“Use your college vocabulary, noona.”

“I hate you.”

“No. You don’t.” There’s a hint of bafflement in his voice as he leans in to kiss you. 

Your mock-annoyance melts. “No I don’t.” You let your lips linger on his. “I guess I can’t call you ‘agi’ anymore.”

He makes a face. “I don’t mind, but it’s a little weird?” You feel his fingers slip under the top of your jeans, fire against your skin. 

“Jagiya?”

You feel him tremble just slightly. “Yeah, that’s good.” His hand slides farther down and this time you tremble. “Are you still noona?” You can feel his smug grin against your mouth.

“Um…” Never mind that you can barely concentrate to speak with his hands on your ass. “Sure? Sure.”

“Good.” He squeezes, making you yelp. With that irrepressible smile, carefully turns and lays you down on the sofa, settling on top of you. 

Your eyes flutter close at his weight. 

“Do you have a condom?”

You feel him still and you open your eyes.

“Um.”

The blush, despite the mere fact he’s on top of you, is beyond endearing. 

“No,” he replies. “You?” He glances around your dorm room.

“Nope.”

“Why not?” he asks, eyes bright despite the fact you only have your fairy lights turned on in the room. 

“I didn’t…It’s been awhile, Yang Jeongin. Don’t judge.” 

He chuckles and kisses you softly, tongue meeting yours just enough to make you want before he draws back.

“I’m sure my roommate does somewhere, but…”

He waits, one hand tracing your ear and the other bracing himself against the couch. 

“I’m not saying I don’t want to. I just…I swear an hour ago I was telling myself that I needed to get over you.”

He nods, meeting your lips again. “And I haven’t even taken you out on a proper date.”

“Jeongin…that’s beside–” He interrupts your incoherent words, kissing you deeper.

“It’s okay, noona. I like kissing you.”

You cover your face with your hands. “That’s my line.”

He kisses the back of your hands before you peer through your fingers to look at him. He’s staring at you fondly, thoughtful. 

“Can I stay with you?”

You lean up to kiss him, hands sliding through his hair. He doesn’t pull away, sliding one hand under your top and along your side. You twitch a little at the ticklishness and you can feel his smile. 

“You can stay, jagiya.”

--

© yoongihan 2023. please do not steal, translate, repost, or whatever. stray kids belong to themselves and all idols used in this piece are just the inspiration for characters and do not in any way reflect the actual humans.

[wonik1ss]

✦ LITTLE BUNNY — ❝ hong eunchae ❞

[ love is sour, love is sour grapes ]

synopsis • being the very last to join le sserafim you thought it would hard to fit in until one member takes you under her wing ( 1.3k ) fluff < song rec : sour grapes — le sserafim >

a/n : thanks so much for the request anon <3

a month ago your only worry’s were monthly evaluations, and whether your grades were good enough for your parents to not you pull you out of hybe in all. now you sat with the ceo on one side of you and a manager on the other side.

“how many days till they debut..”. you asked as you played with your fingers under the table and the manager spoke up.

“well.. it’s about a month and a few days.. but I have been watching you and I believe you’ll be able to fit in right away!”. as she tried to raise her hand to give a quick ‘fighting’ you turned to the ceo.

“haha.. we had to miss haps with other traniee’s and we believe le sserafim needs a sixth member.. I know it’s late but ru next won’t be starting for a few months and even so.. there is no promise of debuting.. so this maybe your only chance..”. nodding you took a deep breath.

“so what does it mean”. the manager smiled and tilted her head.

“what does what mean..?”

“the name”

“it me-“

“fearless it means fearless”. as the ceo finished you thought back to all your training, the struggles to keep your grades up, the stress of doing all of this but never knowing if it would amount to anything. you knew you were everything but fearless but maybe being in this group would make you fearless. so as you opened your mouth both people smiled.

now you were with the manager infront of their practice room. she rubbed your back and opened the door and you held your head down.

“girls as you know me and the ceo have been debating a final new member and here she is.. please give her a warm welcome while I get her set up..!”. you took a glance and bowed five times while the manager left. the door shut and you heard multiple feet rushing towards you.

“how old are you”

“I turned fifteen a few months ago..”

“oh ! so your younger then eunchae then !”. you turned to look were the bob headed girl was looking and saw a girl a little taller then you tilting her head at you. then you heard the door open again. an american looking girl urged you to get close to the group.

“ok gi- oh hi ! nice to meet you.. girls if you don’t mind I’ll just use this session to help y/n learn all the dances”. the girls nodded and started practicing in one part of the room. you caught up fast to the point the choreographer asked you sing as well as you danced. as you danced and sang to fearless you heard all the feet in the corner of the room but you payed them no mind.

“that was great y/n ! tomorrow we can join the group and I’ll help you after but I don’t think I’ll need to”. you heard clapping and your face started to feel hot. then as the choreographer left the girls ran to you.

“you did great y/n ! I’ll introduce us all..!”. the one with the bob said. after the introductions the girls bowed and left for their other lessons. but you stayed since it was your first day so you had nothing really to do but practice so you wouldn’t fall behind. as you stopped the music to sit down you checked the time and bit your lip. then you felt something being placed on your head.

“you did good you shouldn’t overwork yourself bunny”. you tilted your head and the bag fell to the floor. you heard a giggled but you stared at the bag. it was full of american snacks.

“is my korean that bad..”

“no they just told us a little about you last week..”. eunchae bent down and ruffled your hair and then cupped your cheeks.

“don’t work to hard.. you might not hop anymore !”. you giggled as she help you up.

“so I have bunny teeth or something..?”

“noo you just jumped a lot during blue flame..!”

“is it that bad”. eunchae hushed you as you walked to the dorms. a few weeks later and you got a little closer to the girls. when buzz started about a new group you all cheered and even more when you started to record the songs. you sat in the booth running sour grapes lines. you hated to admit it but while everything was getting set up you jumped up and down singing to warm up.

if eunchae could see you she would probably feed you a carrot.

“ok let’s try starting the song!”. you nodded and as you sung you got threw the whole song. which from your research (watching to many idol videos) you knew didn’t really happen during song recordings.

“don’t worry you did good I don’t think we need another run but let’s try a few more times!”. after you were done you picked up your bag and felt eyes on you.

“do you have anywhere to go now?”. eunchae tapped her foot as you checked your phone.

“ya I think I have to meet mrs. o so she can get my-“

“but I was thinking we should have a movie night.. you been working hard you should get a break”. you shock your head as eunchae typed something into her phone.

“she said it’s ok let’s go!”. as you opened your mouth eunchae grabbed your hand and you were racing to your dorms.

“I saw you jumping today.. I think you’re transforming”. you laughed as eunchae smiled back at you.

as you stood next to wonyoung you bit your lip. you did it. you debuted and most people loved you and the ones that didn’t Eunchae just said were jealous.

“don’t worry it’s just a couple minutes and then we’re done..!”. wonyoung whispered and patted your back you nodded and bowed and she giggled.

“hi we are jangkku..!”. wonyoung fake pouted and turned to sunghoon with her hands on her hips.

“sunghoon.. I’m feeling really fearful today what should I do?”

“ahh wonyoung don’t worry today are guest should make you fearless for sure !”. as they moved from infront of you, you all did your intro.

“oh ! I love your song guys could you show us some point choero?”. wonyoung said and she clapped and yunjin took the mic from chaewon.

“ofcourse ! but I believe our maknae y/n should do it ! she ones of the best dancers in our group”. eunchae nudged you and you began to dance. after you were done everyone clapped.

“ooh are little bunny’s like a rabbit now !”. you hid your face in kazuha neck as eunchae boosted about you. it never stopped there, after variety show after variety show eunchae babied you. so as you sat next to her on your last one it was no surprise that when they asked about being a trainee she talked about you.

“you know y/n joined a month or so before our debut !”. the mc’s looked shocked

“In her first practice she got everything down we were all so impressed ! but she seemed to push herself to her limit sometimes so I have to remind her she’s still young !”. the mc’s laughed.

“your still young eunchae !”

“ahh I know but she’s like my little sister ! I mean she’s so short and cute it would be weird not to baby her !”. you nodded as everyone laughed.

“how do you feel about this y/n?”

“mm it’s nice I don’t have any siblings and eunchae acts like a wise older sister so I’m very glad I joined this group and have her to take care of me”. eunchae gave you a big hug and everyone cooed.

“even when your twenty five you’ll still be fifteen to me !”. you whined as eunchae squished your cheeks. sometimes it felt like to much but you were always glad to have eunchae there for you, you were always to be her little bunny no matter what.

[miupow]

I'm of the opinion (as of this morning when the thought popped into my head) that Minho would only speak Korean in bed, regardless of whether you understand or not.

Because that's how he's most comfortable, because you find it hot and he knows it, and because maybe it will encourage you to learn faster and understand all his dirty talk!

-🏹

ohhhh my gosh my beloved bow and arrow anon… language kinks r so underrated in kpop fic i think you just opened my third eye

lino with an s/o who’s not fluent in korean.. maybe she’s a dumb american like me lol, or maybe she’s korean australian like felix and moved to korea to connect more with her culture! either way her korean is not very good and minho thinks it’s cute teehee <3

ouuu minho only dirty talking in kor… you don’t understand what he’s saying but he sounds so hot 😭😭😭😭 ordering you around in a language you don’t fully understand, getting rewarded for following orders even if you just guessed what he was telling you to do <3 pavlov-ing yourself into learning korean LMAOO

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/760787222147547136/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7606164166353879?source=share

Hi, Korean American anon here so I'm familiar with shipping culture in South Korea (though I don't think what I'm about to say is exclusive to South Korean culture)

I'm catching up but OP is very right about the strange contradiction and it's usually that some shippers feel safe shipping m/m relationships because at heart, they don't believe that their idols can be homosexual/bisexual. Their idols are perfect and, in their opinion, anything outside of heterosexuality is flawed and abnormal...so it's a low risk form of denial over the fact that they might have to one day deal with seeing their faves in a hetero relationship.

So shipping them with a male or group member is a safer way of exploring that fantasy romantic side of their idol, seeing how cute they can be, what they'd look like as their boyfriend etc without any of the risk of having to face their idol being in a real relationship (which according to them is a hetero one) because their homophobia (concious or subconcious) won't allow them to really consider the possibility that their fave might be gay or bi and they also know that companies and artists themselves might be less willing to expose same sex relationships.

So TLDR; it's a low risk deniability and form of mental escapism from facing the reality that they nightshade to watch their idol go through a relationship.

Now in Korea, its the same thing but with a little bit of an added element to it....because fans know that Korean entertainment companies and artists are far more indulgent than western counterparts when it comes to pleasong fans and delivering what they want and protecting them from having to acknowledge that their idols are human beings with their own lives. So with Korean idols and fans, there's also an element of control.

They know that if they ship group members or idols together, companies will often jump on it and use it to foster the parasocial element that is heightend and more greatly exploited in KPOP. That means idols and companies will go to far greater lengths to hide their real relationships and so fans won't have to be exposed to something they don't want to see or acknowledge.

They can make their faves dance to the beat of their drum by shipping them with each other because they genuinely don't believe anything will ever come of it

And the fact is that these fans would react the same way if their idol dated opposite or sex---because shipping them with the same sex is their way of essentially shipping them with nobody (if that makes sense)

Now obviously, I 'ship' Tàekook or I wouldn't be here but it's the fact that Hybe not only haven't exploited their biggest ship for fan engagement and fan interaction but seem to have gone to lengths to cover it that makes me more suspicious as to the reality of it.

But ultimately, homophobics shipping their m/m faves is really just them trying to exert whatever control they can while also holding a belief that they'll never have to face the reality of their ship coming to life.

Hi Korean-American anon!

So good to see you around! As always thanks for your input!

You're responding to this ask:

One of the reason's why I always found the explanation of less Taekook focus from BH being because Tae and Jk weren't close anymore such nonsense, is because it makes no sense from a business perspective. BH could literally make them do content together because people enjoyed it so much. Taekook is the biggest ship, has been for years.. and yet they make none to little use of it.

I've read people (the other side) say Tae and Jk are less interesting to watch... freaking bs.. which is basically proven by AYS where all Jm and Jk do is just eat and talk about how much they love to eat. Tae and Jk are also hilarious, cute, and comforting together. I grant everyone that an AYS from Jk and Tae would gather the same attention as AYS from Jk and Jm.

[jazeswhbhaven]

I don't have the means, but I would pay someone or a group good money to just rewrite ALL of WHB's dialogue to where it doesn't sound like PB stuffed it into an AI translator and called it a day.

Bug fixes? What about the fricking dialogue ffs in this game. We're encroaching on its 1 year anniversary and it's been getting worse. I never complained about English localizations, but I won't ever thanks to this game. The stories are the only things that keeping me here, but reading it is just ick.

Speaking of 1 year anniv: watch, they're going to do something big and paywall it, cause the community the blow up AGAIN. I really hope someone has saved everything they could so they can just archive it and share it in case this game blows up.

Honestly anon, if I could apply to work for PB as their writer for their H-scenes I'd do so just to help them out. I know 0 Korean and well I'm American so there's that dream out of the window lol

As for the official story, there are sentences were I scratch my head like you could have literally described that differently and I keep blaming it on the translation. I'm always certain that it sounds better or at least more coherent in other languages.

Now....I will admit when reading through the recent event I'm just like, huh pronoun issues again, some phrases and sentences seeming like they're out of place or repeated...I think they don't have a editor/proofreader on their team to help catch these mistakes since there's been so many.

I'm already expecting not too much for the anniversary because it will make me feel better if something cool does come from it. I'm working on doing my own thing for it anyway so if all else fails...

I think there's been quite a few accounts documenting everything so far, I for one have done as much as I can grabbing sprites, stories, screenshots whatever I can in case the inevitable happens. But I think PB will give us another good year before they start focusing on other things.

[moss-the-irishman]

To the Anon/Anons who bless me with AUs such as Mixed Latino/Hispanic Percy, and German American Grace family, I'll give you some ammo based on the Headcanons/ AUs I've come up with in my head:

Orthodox Christian/Russian Italian Nico Di Angelo (His name would now be Nikolai).

Natural blond Korean American Luke Castellan with complete brown/blue heterochromia.

Irish American Annabeth and Magnus Chase with Swedish and Ghanaian descent.

Mixed Black Annabeth Chase with natural blonde hair, black skin, and grey eyes.

Mixed Black Albino Magnus Chase who has light skin, hair and eyes, but also has black facial features and hair structure.

Lester Papadopoulos with an Irish accent and Irish/Vietnamese American Meg McCaffery.

I hope this give you some inspiration, Anon!

also tagging @queen-of-weird-girl-nation @ashthenerdtheythem @aki-bara, since I always tag them in these au posts.

[prpfz]

💗💗resubmitting an ask as tumblr has very kindly nuked my last two blogs (i assume someone was reporting me) but i am looking for highly smuty, highly kinky, highly taboo focused mxm rp on discord ! i am twenty-seven and prefer all my partners be over twenty-one.

at this time i will only be writing mxm ships!!!!! i mostly write non fandom things with ocs but at the end i'll list some fandom stuff i would like ! i do want to say now that i'm asian american and i tend to only use asian fcs mostly those from korean and thai media. while i do prefer writing against these fcs it's not an absolute must.

once again i wanna say these plots contain some problematic themes including incest, abusive dynamics and lots of other things i can get more into in dms !

fandom wise some things i would want to write would be ships from haikyuu, tokyo revengers, eighty-six, attack on titan, my hero academia, demon slayer and jujitsu kaisen just off the top of my head but there might be more i can think of!

again, i'm only writing on discord but i'm happy to provide examples of my writing to ensure our styles mesh well. just give this a like and i'll reach out to you!

give a like and anon will get back to you

[jeonbunnie]

love language

pairing: reader x taehyung

anon requested: “If requests are still open, can you do love language by kelahni with idol taehyung? Bonus if the reader is a American (or just a foreigner) living in Korea with okay proficiency in Korean. ”

summary: Taehyung’s willing to learn all the ways to love you.

genre: slight angst; fluff

soundtrack: love language — kehlani

content/warnings: pg 13, established relationship, boyfriend!AU, inexperienced!reader, consent talk, mutual pining

word count: 1.3k

♪ Said I wanna be fluent in your love language. Learnin' your love language ♪

Taehyung was still learning how to love you.

There’d always been a language barrier between you, and you often failed to understand each other’s language.

Most of the time, it was easy to read between the lines. To pick up on your silent cues, the way you leaned in when you were interested in what he had to say. How you lowered your gaze when you were feeling shy or bit your lip while fighting back a shy smile.

It’s the same smile you’re wearing now, draped across his couch, cheesing over a romantic drama. He loved you like this: lighthearted and carefree. But lately, it’s a side to you he’d been missing.

And he hated breaking you out of your happy bubble, but Taehyung needed to speak to you to clear up something weighing on his heart.

“Can we talk?”

There’s hesitation in your eyes now that the questions have been asked. Taehyung waits for the tension to melt, patiently observing as you look him in the eye and nod.

“Are you not attracted to me?”

You blink, frozen in time for a second. And then burst into laughter.

“What?” You said the sounded light, letting Taehyung know you’re not exactly laughing at him or being rude, but he can still feel a slight blush creep up his neck.

“I’m serious,” He said, voice a bit more taunt.

“Wait?” You said, growing serious. You turn away from the TV to face him on the couch. Your brows pulled together in a way Taehyung’s learned to read as ‘concerned’ on your face. “Really?”

By now, Taehyung basically knew how to read you down to a science.

Some things were easier to learn than others. Early on, he figured out you weren’t a morning person. He found it cute that you were always so grumpy during the early hours and that the little scrunch between your brows meant you weren’t ready to talk before having caffeine. He quickly learned you appreciated him bringing you a cup of coffee more than a good morning call.

It took a little longer for him to learn you didn’t care much for gifts. Over time, he began to understand that you valued his time over his money. You never cared about the wrapping for a gift—you’d rather be wrapped up in his arms, spending sun-soaked days together in the park

And the little things, of course. Taehyung knew your favorite color and how to make your smile. He was fairly certain your love language was quality time (acts of service a close second). There were still parts of you he was desperate to know more—soul, mind, and body.

Taehyung cared more for physical touch. You, however, never seemed all that interested in being intimate. Whenever he tried to initiate something more than a kiss, you almost always slipped from his grasp, muttering a vague excuse.

“Lately…” He started, “It seems like every time I touch you, you pull away. So I just thought?”

He knew something was wrong. It had to be him, didn’t it?

You sent him a timid smile. “Taehyung, I’m beyond attracted to you. It’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like?”

A pause. “I just—I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You feel…” Taehyung licked his lips, searching for the right words. “Distant. Like you’re holding back.”

“Do you not like me anymore? Is that why you don’t want me to touch you?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Then?”

“It’s the opposite.”

“What do you mean?”

“I-I think I like you too much, and I’m scared to be close.”

Taehyung often misunderstood the meaning behind your words. Usually, it was because you were using your own language or talking too fast.

This time the mixed message felt deeper than anything google translate could solve. Because you were speaking a language he understood, and he still couldn’t make sense of what you meant.

“I don’t understand.”

You sighed, covering your face with your hands. “Never mind. It’s stupid. Forget I said anything.”

Gently, Taehyung reached out and pulled your hands away from your face. “It’s not stupid. I just don’t understand yet. Can you explain it to me?”

It was quiet for a minute, but Taehyung didn’t rush you. He rubbed his thumbs against your hands, hoping to calm your nerves enough.

“I’m not that experienced….” You said finally, unable to look him in the eye. “So the idea of being close to someone like that…it feels..overwhelming?”

Taehyung felt his heart soften. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said softly.

“I want to! It’s not like I mean to pull away. I get nervous. There’s so much I don’t know sexually, and I get in my head about things. Wondering if I’m making the right move or what I like and what you like? I want our first time to be perfect, and I just-”

You stopped, burying your face in his chest. “This is embarrassing. I’m going to stop talking now.”

Taehyung laughed. He could tell you were mortified to reveal this information like you wanted to sink into the couch hide. But he found you to be adorable. “You’re so cute,” he said.

It all made sense now. Your shyness, the awkward pauses. The way you seemed to want more but backed off every time things got heated between you. Relief coursed through him. All this time, he was worried for nothing. It felt good knowing you wanted him the same way he wanted you.

He took your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “We can go slow…whatever pace you need. There’s no rush.”

The furrow in your brow fades, and Taehyung knows he’s said the right thing to calm your nerves. Still, there’s doubt in your eyes.

“You don’t think it’s weird that I haven’t…you know?”

He shook his head. “Of course not. But I think it’s weird that you didn’t tell me.”

You try to look away then, but Taehyung doesn’t let you, taking your chin in his hand until you make eye contact again.

“Hey. I wanna know everything about you,” said Taehyung. “Your thoughts and your feelings. Even the things that make you nervous, even the embarrassing things you think you should hide.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I don’t mind if that takes time,” Taehyung continued. “I can be patient. But I need you to be open with me moving forward. Can you do that?”

“I can do that,” you said, finally giving him a real smile. The one he loved so much that made your eyes sparkle and shine.

Taehyung scooped you up into his lap, happy to know the two of you were back on the same page. “So, is this okay? Me holding you like this?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I like it when you hold me.”

“And when I kiss you?” He asked, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead.

“I love it when you kiss me. And not just on my forehead. . .”

“Here?” He said, kissing your cheek.

“Taehyung…” you whine.

“Yeah? So you like this?” Said Taehyung, peppering you with kisses all over your face.

“Taehyung,” you giggled. “You know what I mean. Kiss me for real.”

“Mhmm,” he hummed. “Define real. You’re going to have to be more specific.” He knows what you want but can’t make it easy for you now, can he?

“You’re gonna make me ask?”

“Well, the last time I went in for a kiss, it didn’t go so well.”

You rolled your eyes, and Taehyung’s sure he would have to tease you a bit more, but then you surprised him, closing the distance with a kiss. It’s languid and sweet. Slow, saccharine goodness that has his mind running wild with possibilities. There’s still so much he wants to learn about you: how to calm your nerves, how to show you that you’re safe with him, how to love you, and how to make love to you. How to please you. What turned you on, what drove you wild…

And he knows it’ll take some time for you to be vulnerable with him. But if going slow means more perfect kisses like this, he doesn’t mind the wait.

[olderthannetfic]

What's interesting about the complaints about "no POC" in anime is that the vast majority of characters are not white. They just have different colored hair and eyes for the sake of easily differentiating characters from one another. I guess what they mean is "We want more Black and (Afro-) Latine characters in anime," which is fine, but it does speak to a kind of ethnocentrism that prioritizes the USian understanding/value of race and ethnicity without considering what diversity would look like within the context of Japan. Similarly, I think of lot of people forget that animanga is aimed first and foremost at Japanese people. Foreigners typically only learn of titles because they're already successful enough in Japan to warrant translating and selling overseas. I don't see much value in Japanese creators tailoring their stories for Americans/Westerners because they already have a lot of competition in their fields with works being cancelled constantly. It's just not a good investment.

Whenever I do see diversity within animanga, it is interesting because there are usually characters who are Ainu, Ryukyuan, Portuguese, Brazilian (not necessarily Afro-Brazilians, though some are), Chinese, Korean, and other groups from East and South East Asia. Given the history of Japan, these are depictions that are interesting and answer/address some questions of the presence of these groups in Japan. I would argue that this is actual representation within the context of animanga. The Ainu (and other non-Yamato Japanese people) are oppressed in Japan. There are still Koreans (and their descendants) living in Japan from WWII who are oppressed, as well. There are close sociocultural and historical connections between Japan and Brazil and Japan and Portugal. It makes sense that diversity in Japan would look different from diversity in the US (not addressing how a lot of USian "diversity" is just telling the same White stories with ESG-insentivized checkboxes, so not true diversity at all). The landscape of animanga is just what you get when there's media coming from a country that's over 98% homogenous. I'm a Black and Hispanic animanga fan (same anon from 718760234172170240 and 719551319937007616), so I get how disappointing it feels. But just because you like something, doesn't mean it's made for you or that you're the target audience. It's made for Japanese people first and foremost. They just decided to make money from overseas markets, too. Also, why should a nation of people who typically never encounter Black people regularly feel the responsibility to represent us? It's corny and tone deaf when non-Black people beg to be included in Black-centered stories. The reverse is true, as well. Support more indie creators who make it a point to include "more POC" in their comics and graphic novels, and support creators telling different kinds of stories, not just checkboxes. The world is much broader than American ethnocentrism regarding race and ethnicity.

--

Yuuuuup.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hello, I have finally managed to catch up on the posts. It's always lovely to see people being so obsessed with Jimin. I am unsure why that anon is so stressed about JM getting so much love if she is truly JM's fan. Lol, it's voluntary participation and people can easily opt out. In saying that, I would like to respond to her. I think the reason people are that invested in JM is because he is a likeable person to whom many people can relate. He has something that the rest of the members don't. Why do you think he stands out the most? He has got the oompf that I don't think anyone else has other than possibly Prince and Beyonce. JM is like a genre, a league of his own. I might sound rude saying this but he is in a league of his own outside of BTS. I know that online it seems like he is the most hated member but when you see them live no matter which country, he is literally the most loved member, especially in Europe and America. He gets the loudest cheers and everyone freaking knows him. Part of it is because he is a good-looking man who can possibly get anyone and everyone. But part of it is also because he is charismatic as fuck. Watch any BTS interviews whether it's in Korean or English, he literally stands out just sitting down. He doesn't even have to speak but the camera always goes after him. It's because he commands attention. Just look at their American journey in the beginning. They were having interviews where JM didn't say a single word and yet he was the one that everyone was going gaga over. That's just it, he has something and this something is always going to keep him in the public eye. It's really funny to me that he is shy because you never notice it. He is intimidating as fuck. He has so much to be arrogant about and rightfully so but he chooses to just be him whether it is by showing his vulnerability or showing his strength. He knows exactly who he is as a person and isn't afraid to call things out. He is who he is and everyone falls for that. On top of that, he has everything going for him. If he is not noticed for his performance, he is noticed for his voice, if it's not his voice, it's his looks, if it's not his looks, it's his charisma, if it's not charisma, it's dancing. Like the list is endless.

I can honestly go on forever but I will leave it at that.

By the way, all the haters pretend to hate him on the internet but deep down are scared of what he can achieve. That's always been the case hence all the other members akages go after him.