#amd its all crumbly and stuff

[transgender-catboy]

this bench is uncomfortable, I have too fat an ass for this

[muttmoxley]

oooooooo im. im wavibg my fingers tell me about juno

ooooooo

ooohhhhhh noooooo… ive been hypnotized by your finger wibbling…. i guess i have to talk about hiiimmmm……

@ my fellow players in the d4 campaign DONT READ THIS. none of them actively use tumblr but jic

(LOTS of text under cut)

the first thing i always always always say about him is that he fucking SUCKS. hes the worst man alive i hope he dies im literally obsessed with him. juno infyris is a tiefling celestial warlock :3 his patron god is homebrew that i made myself! basically he grew up in the underdark (gracklstugh to be specific) doing odd jobs to make enough money to leave. since almost all of the underdark is under lolth, he genuinely just didnt. think gods were real. he was an atheist he just thought everyone else was in a cult on something LMFAO once he was old enough he started a little shop of his own selling fake magic items (most of which he stole). like spamton but not actually like spamton at all. now while setting up his window display for candlenights he ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONED A DEITY. shes like ohhh brave one you have summoned me….. your wish is my command… i shall aid you in your journeys…. and hes like Uh Um Uhhh Can You Help Me Out. (<- INCREDIBLY UNSPECIFIC THING TO SAY TO A LITERAL GOD.) she takes this and fuckinf runs with it hes now soulbound to this deity thats trying to make him a better person and have him do good deeds and stuff amd he HATES IT. as aforementioned he is the worst fucking guy alive hes greedy and selfish and an all around bastard who literally scams people for a living and now all of a sudden hes forced to be a good person or else god will kill him and its the funniest dynamic ive ever written. anyways he escapes his master and leaves the underdark and meets up with the party etc etc etc BUT i wanna talk more about his life before then. see the underdark is a really shitty fuckinf place to live for like 90% of the population and basically anyone that isnt a drow or duergar. SO. you can imagine his life kind of sucks. he is forever in servitude of at least one master at all times & is FOREVER trying to convince everyone he meets to let him live. he used to have wings, in fact! however when they grew in, his master used him for his wings & made him do a bunch of shady shit for him before cutting them off, not wanting juno to seem too valuable to others and have him stolen. juno currently doesn’t remember ever having wings & is convinced hes just naturally discoordinated and clumsy but in reality he’ll never fully acclimate to living without his wings. for all of the 18 years he lived in gracklstugh he spent every day trying to be good enough so that he wouldn’t be deemed useless and killed. his main tactic for this is flirting. see, he knows he’s fucking annoying, and he’s spent years trying to ‘fix it’, and he just can’t. so if he cant change his personality, he believes his only use is his looks. he’ll flash a charming smile and a kiss on the cheek to the vendor he’s currently robbing, distracting them so that he can steal just enough to get by. he’s fucking pretty, and he knows it, so he uses it to his advantage. he exists as an accessory, something to be used, and believes that’s the entirety of his worth. when he escapes the underdark by killing his master (with the help of angel, another pc in our campaign), he takes his left eye out. the scar changes everything. if he’s not pretty, not appealing enough, then he’s fucking useless. he finally got his chance to escape the underdark and now he’s going to be left to die as soon as he sees the sun for the first time. OBVIOUSLY THIS ISNT WHAT HAPPENS. throughout the campaign, one of the other pcs, rpck (no that’s not a typo his name is rpck) falls in love with him. this shit changes EVERYTHING his entire worldview begins to crumble as he learns he can finally be loved and. Yeaghf. im fucking normal about him. theres ALWAYS more i can say abt him but this is long enough already LMFAO thank u for letting me ramble jack :-)

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Someone anyone pls. My boyfriend has unfortunately had his phone broken so I haven't been talking with him, and I feel so lonely 😞 Also ALL OF MY FRIENDS LIVES ARE CRUMBLING APART?? My friend just broke up with her boyfriend, because of her mental health, but I suspect that it might be because of the boy she's been flirting with on the side. My other friends sibling is breaking up with their douche of a man, thank goodness. Two OTHER friends, who are literally bestfriend and have been for years, have been fighting eith eachother amd separating from our little group?? Also my dads been talking about death and I find myself looking at baby pictures of me and him with my grandma and great grandma, crying about thinkinf that I'm gonna be the only one alive in that picture some day. It also dawned on me that he's like the only person that I KNOW I'll have until we perish. We were watching mamma mia, and the whole time I kept thinking that I wished my mom loved me like Donna loved her daughter, and mentioned how I'd like to move into a little island or something. I guess my dad saw me holding back tears during the "slipping through my fingers" song, because he told me we could move to Alaska just he and I. (That's his dream place) PLEASE IM SOBBING THINKING ABT THE FACT HES NEVER BEEN.

Anyways, it made me think of my goal in life, and its to someday bring my dad to Alaska with me. Regardless if hes with me, just inside an urn. (I'm being so dead serious, I love my dad even if I went through some shit for most of my childhood. He's like the only person in my life who has stepped up, and made an actual change in his behavior for MY sake. It's admirable, and I've always been my fathers daughter. I'm just more proud to say it now after everything hes been through, and the changes hes gone through for my well being.)

I apologize about the rant, I fear that I've been holding that within me for so long. My friends don't really care about my personal life, and sometimes I'm glad that I keep it that way. ANYWAYS.

I realize that I haven't been in your asks, but I did follow through with that strike. Stayed off my phone unless it was to check about the updates for Palestine, and reposting. Didn't buy groceries, I even stopped going to classes for the time being. I'm sad to know that it's not getting any better, and I'm ashamed to say that my little town has very little businesses that DON'T support Israel. So I can't really avoid buying things from those places :(

Been keeping up with your writing though, for the most part. I'm very sad that it will come to an end, but I'm excited to see the ending. I'm ALSO EXCITED FOR INUMAKI 😻😻😻😻😻

Anyways, gonna go shower because I feel like a dirty corndog that was dropped at a fair. Wish me luck that I don't run out of warmish water, I always seem to do so because my hair is so hard to manage and I have like 10 different products that I have to put in it. (I'm being dramatic, I usually sit and let it do it's thing while I sing the weekend and deftones. 😞)

GOODNIGHT STAY WARM!!!!

Xoxo 👽

don’t wanna be mean but i’m glad ur bf broke his phone 😊 BUT JESUS WHY R ALL UR FRIENDS LIVES SIMULTANEOUSLY IN SHAMBLES ??? LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ???😭😭 that’s crazy… hopefully the two that have been friends for years figure their stuff out…

mamma mia will get u… it always will… (i’ve never seen it) BUT HE SAID U COULD MOVE TO ALASKA JUST U N HIM STOP IM SOBBING OH MY GOD??? that sounds like a very good life goal bae!! i’m sure he’d love that whether he’s actually with u or in an urn like u said!! and i’m super glad you have him and that he stepped out to make a change in himself for u i love that for u bae :( DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE RANT ITS OKAY I DONT MIND !!

u haven’t but it’s okay!! i know you’ll pop up eventually LMFAO and yay for following through with the strike!! i really hope a lot of other people did as well.

YAY SO GLAD YOUVE BEEN KEEPING UP WITH MY WRITING N ARE EXCITED BAE🤞🤞🤞

A DIRTY CORNDOG THAT WAS DROPPED AT A FAIR HELEOEMEME LMFOAOA ENJOY UR SHOWER!! (whats ur favorite the weekend and deftones song…)

[redchu12]

Everything important in TommyInnits life has happened because of one thing. Gunpowder.

The disk. A creeper amd other mobs kill each other. Boom (heh) a disk.

His Country. Founded by an idea given life. An idea that everyone had seed to forgotten. That love equals life, and it's not about a piece of land that means home, but the people that share said land. His country that truly started its revolution by being blown up, and its end coming from the same object, and the same person with said object. TNT, and the Dream that supplies it.

His brother, stank with the stuff. He was always mumbling about chemical ratios and how to place it to make the best area of effect. And then Tommy learned about why his big brother needed to know all of that. He learned when the ground ripped apart, when his home was destroyed, again. The musician and his unfinished symphonie, oh what a heart breaking sound.

His other brother later would do the same. He would destroy Tommy's home too. And this time there would be no rebuilding. There would only be Tommy amd his best friend holding on to each other as their world crumble again. Tommy had trusted him, and all that had lead was to more destruction and broken trust. The blood god had his blood, but yet why does he feel so broken? Why does he feel regret. Oh what a sight it is to see the blood god learn humility too late to use it.

Tommy smelled it when he was banished. He smelled it when a nightmare in human shape destroyed everything everyday. He smelled it when he woke up, and he smelled it when he fell asleep. Tommy smelt it, and felt it get into his eyes as he jumped off his tower, barely able to see the water through the smog. Maybe he would never smell fresh air again, with the way things were going.

Tommy saw the smoke before he saw the remains of the l'mantree. Something that had survived for so long was gone, just like the nation it represented. Tommy wonderes if he will ever see the two who had finally killed L'manburg again. Maybe.

Yes Tommyinnit's life has been defined by gunpowder, but maybe it won't always be. As he looked at his hotel he felt hope for the first time in a while. Maybe he could remind everyone of what home is, even if only for a little while.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Lord Voldemort

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Evil overlords are a dime a dozen, as are evil wizards. It really takes a special someone to make something so trite and overdone into an interesting character, and once upon a time, J.K. Rowling was that special someone.

Lord Voldemort was a truly terrifying look at a loveless monster, a man so hell-bent on escaping his own mortality and so devoid of anything resembling love in his life he callously killed his way through wizards and muggles alike in a desperate attempt to remain eternal and powerful, playing into racist and supremacist ideology to attract a following of like-minded individuals he could bend to his will. He was an utterly terrifying and unsympathetic monster, but a fascinatingly complex one that the story goes out of its way to explain while at the same time showing his tragedies do not make him worthy of sympathy, but rather pity that such a miserable creature could ever exist.

Then along came the movies.

The movies certainly did not skimp on portraying Voldemort as a terrifying force, but they did unfortunately cut a lot of what made him a truly interesting character, instead settling in to making him a more straightforward evil wizard. With all that said, is there enough to redeem him and make him engaging in the films?

Actor: Ralph Fiennes is no stranger to playing Nazis, as he played the monstrous Amon Goeth in Schindler’s List; really, there was no actor more perfect to play what amounts to Wizard Hitler. From Goblet of Fire onwards, Fiennes was the face of the Dark Lord, and he managed to make every minute he was onscreen engaging and intense. Fiennes took the watered down Voldemort of the movies and with his acting managed to elevate him to be something akin to a Darth Vader for a younger generation.

Motivation/Goals: In the books, Rowling meticulously showcased the progression of Voldemort from The child Tom Riddle to the monster he is in the present. His destiny was basically wired into him from conception: he was the product of magical date rape, and of course his muggle father wanted nothing to do with him when his mother revealed the truth. Born from lust amd cruelty rather than love, the young Riddle had a miserable childhood that twisted him into an utter sociopath, and when he was finally brought to Hogwarts he began asking around and found out the truth of creating horcruxes, which led him down a dark path of murder and splitting of his soul in a never ending flight from death (as the name he chose for himself literally means).

The movie version… only uses bits and pieces. A lot of this comes from the fact the adaptation of Half-Blood Prince is a mess that slices a lot of relevant information and interesting character scenes out (Which was a problem that plagued a lot of the later Potter films), leading to just about everything but the horcrux stuff being left out, as the plot literally could not function without that information. This does lead to movie Voldermort coming off as a bit more generic than he should have given his prestigious literary version, basically assuming the viewer is familiar with the source material so that you can assume the bits they leave out.

At the very least the movie version of Voldemort is still an evil sorcerous lich, who is desperately trying to kill Harry to try and avoid the fate he was dictated to befall by prophecy and to rid himself of a boy who is a constant thorn in his side. For what he is, he’s still probably good as far as evil wizards go, though it is a shame all that they left out.

Personality: Voldemort’s personality is where he truly shines. Fiennes’ plays Voldemort as the hammiest, creepiest, most sinister freakshow to ever walk the earth. He can’t help himself from being so over-the-top in anything he does, be it his movements or the casting of his favorite spell: “AVADA KEDAVRA!”

More intriguing to me are moments like his infamous hug from Draco or that incredibly bizarre laugh he does in The Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Both moments are incredibly awkward, uncomfortable, and even a bit weird and silly, but I think they actually fit the character perfectly and only serve to make Voldemort even creepier. Consider for a moment that Voldemort can hardly be considered human anymore; he has shattered his soul into seven pieces in his quest for immortality to the point where he looks more like a snake or a zombie than any living man. Also consider that Voldemort is, at this point, utterly incapable of understanding or feeling love, something made explicit even if his backstory isn’t as detailed as in the book. Is it any wonder he can’t laugh or hug the way a normal human would? What he’s doing is merely affecting what he sees as the appropriate action in the moment, and that is horribly unsettling. Voldemort is a monster who no longer knows how to act like the man he once was.

Final Fate: If there’s one thing the movie does far better than the book, it’s give a satisfying end to Voldemort. After a long, intense duel, Harry is finally able to backfire his own spell on him and cause Voldemort to crumble into ash, with Lily’s leitmotif playing as if to subtly indicate that one again the love of Harry’s mother has helped destroy the Dark Lord. It’s really beatiful and poetic, and far better than Harry casting a single Expelliarmus and ragdolling Voldemort.

Best Scene: As lackluster and messy as Goblet of Fire is, one thing Is for sure: they did not drop the ball on having Voldemort take the stage. The Dark Lord’s rebirth, taunting and tormenting of Harry, and first proper duel with The Boy Who Lived, all as Harry desperately struggles to grab the Triwizard Cup and Cedric’s corpse so he can return are some of the most fantastic moments in the franchise and certainly help Voldemort live up to all of the hype.

Best Quote: Behold! A philosophy as delusional and insane as Thanos’, and no less quotable: “There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Voldemort seems like a very mixed bag, but ultimately I do think he manages to live up to the book version in his own way. While I do bemoan the lack of complexity the movie version has, he makes up for it with sheer bombast, just the sort of hammy evil I love to see in fantasy villains. Fiennes’ performance really does wonders, what with all of the odd mannerisms, inflections, and odd vocal choices he gives him.

And it’s not like the complexity is entirely gone, either; even watered down, Voldemort is still Voldemort, and the core concept – that he is a monster made from a lack of love and who can never experience love, and thus can only be defeated by love – is still established fairly well and utilized in key areas, such as the climax of the first film, his resurrection in the fourth film, and of course his ultimate defeat in the eighth. You could also make arguments for love helping defeat him in the second movie, with Harry’s blossoming love for Ginny bursting forth to allow him to slay the basilisk and destroy the journal… though even I’ll admit that one’s a bit of a stretch.

I think that movie Voldemort gets a high 9/10, almost a perfect score but I think that leaving out bits and pieces from the book that help flesh him out holds him back just a little bit. He is otherwise a fantastically performed and utterly terrifying villain, one of the best of our time, and certainly the gold standard to which all other evil wizards ought to be held to.

[magical-agatha]

im so sick of being anxious. its just poison. all it does is hurt me why does my brain do that. i should really look into anxiety meds again. maybe i can find one that will make me drowsy too lmao. gettimg some actual sleep would probably help me cope a lot better with being alive and dealing with everything. im pretty sure my sleep schedule, like what my body wants me to do, is incompatible with the way the wprld currently is. and im pretty sure that forcing myself to sleep at 'normal' times has broken something inside me.

i always have this feeling of being broken, or like. more like ive been broken over and over and over. and in repairing myself ive become like. i work, technically, but i barely function and all my systems and stuff are kind of fucked up and not actually fixed. ive just forced myself into some vague semblance of functioning. like a machine thats been broken amd repaired too many times and now barely works and works nothing like it should, and should really just be thrown away and replaced. but i cant get a fresh body or a new undamaged brain. im stuck like this forever. thats how it feels. idk. im trying to get better.

feels like everything ive built up in my life is about to start crumbling and falling down around me. if that happens and im back to where i was in 2017. idk. i think id just give up.

[10hour11minute]

Lin’s Word Dump Masterpost

basically a compilation of all the crap I say (#lin says stuff) so I have less posts on this blog LOL

If you don't want to see... ...my random text posts, blacklist #lin says stuff ...my negative/possibly triggering/rant posts, blacklist #;negative

180611: Do you think ghost cheetahs ever try to race cars on the highway

180924: the recipe for the best 'dessert' I can make:

take a cup out of ur cupboard that’s not super tiny

crumble up a brownie to fill 2/3-1/2 cup (I like using brownies 1-2 days old bc it isn’t super soft or crusty; a nice mix between soft and cronchy)

Microwave the brownies for about 15 seconds (your preference) You can switch steps 2-3 if your brownie is too hard to crumble

Make sure your brownies are nice and crumbled (if they’re still too hard... just stab that thing with a fork)

Scoop out as much ice cream as you want into the cup (u can use any flavour but vanilla is noice)

Don’t mix the ice cream and brownies- just turn the ice cream around in the cup so the brownie covers the outside of ur scoop

BOOM ice cream brownies

181104: so I kinda just. yawned which transitioned into a whispered ���banana bread”

181118: My mom just dropped me off at our apartment and said “bye, good luck!” as if I now had to battle ferocious monsters and complete various sidequests to get home-

181126: movies always have the characters own a top locker, but like I want a movie where the main character and another character walk to their locker and the other character opens their own locker and starts talking and it cuts to a shot of the mc squatting down to open their bottom locker

190223: Y’all ya girl finally gets to play in a parade today!!!

190224: This isn’t going to make sense to any of you but I think Bryan could pull of singing Drive By by Train (just dc things...but day6 brian too)

190301:

So there are these guys I KEEP USING THIS AS A SENTENCE STARTER AKSB that are all kind of friends (they all are friends with my gay friend)

I kind of walked in on the 4 of them fooling around like "So how are my tall asian boys?" honestly me @ seventeen

So now I'm thinking of them in a band/kgroup-

we s t a n (I want to make a comic/promo art akajhs)

#also one of them was like "ahem did u just assume my gender" and like beNT DOWN TO REACH MY HEIGHT SO WAS LIKE BISH EXCUSE ME- #i'll probs make them a kpop group so i don't use their real names lmao

190318: I just choked on cereal and lost a piece of my soul

190407: just burned my tongue with cream cheese reminds me of that time i burnt my thumb with cheese and also that time i burnt my fingerprint off with hot glue

190415: y’all it’s been almost a year since I’ve touched a saxophone and i am d e p r e s s o and am having literal nightmares (im not kidding, i’m dreaming of band still) that I will never play one again asdfjklh im laughing but im crying

190425: O SHIT IM PANROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL THAT MEANS IM PAN-ACE THAT’S WHY IM ALWAYS PANICKING BC PANACING

sometime before 190126:

Since I was little, I always kind of had this headcanon that everyone has a soulmate and a ‘soulfriend’ except if you find your 2 people you won’t know which is which

And like your soulmate’s soulfriend might not be your soulfriend

Then it kind of just turned into a story where a person finds their 2 soulbuds but falls in love with the wrong person

And like how hard would that be for the actual soulmate?? Like “do I have 2 soulfriends orrr”

190516: could someone buy me a spiderman hoodie thanks

#bonus points if its a jacket that zips up all the way past my face so i can hide from my problems

190619: So in the past hour I have:

failed to boil and egg

gotten sad about failing to boil an egg

eaten bread because I was sad about failing to boil an egg

190719: I’d like to drop all my aspirations and become a pirate

190724:

sO I WAS JUST IN A HOUSE WITH 6 LESBIANS AND NO DUDES SO IN TOTAL 8 LGBTQ+ FEMALES IN THE HOUSE and we were facetiming another lgbtq+ girl I think so THE GAY WILL PREVAIL

I FORGOT TO UPDATE

BUT THE GIRL MY AGE AND THE GIRL WE WERE FACETIMING ARE NOW DATING

WHICH MEANS THERE WERE ACTUALLY 7 LESBIANS AND ONE ASEXUAL (me) IN THE HOUSE FACETIMING ANOTHER LESBIAN SO 8 LESBIANS THAT WERE ACTUALLY 4 COUPLES

190804: Ya bro just drew tiny alchemy symbols on her forearms with metallic nailpolish and it looks cool!!

190818: My life is an anime and I don’t like the genre

190819: SOMEONE JUST SAID THE “id die for you” “THEN PERISH” meme out loud in the real life and i was NOT PREPARED

190821:

Dunno if i should be flattered or concerned my friend in my geo class is texting me during geo class while im stuck at home on doctor’s orders being sick amd depressed

I just ate a fortune cookie with

“Judge one not by his charms, but by his actions.”

And now he’s sending me videos of what the teacher’s saying

Thanku panda express I’ll trust u this once

He’s sending me pictures of his notes im aksjdh

Me: Thanku youre a very valid smol child

190830: I remember that 1 post abt how tears of different emotions look different under a microscope, like hecc yeah they sure taste different too

190910: I GOT DROPPED FROM MY HOMEROOM IM DYING

191009: methinks it’s very bde of me to eat a whole mango slice like a banana (it’s more like the consistency of an apple when frozen or kinda like a watermelon when it gets to room temp but anyway)

191017: We just watched I Don’t Want to Go Back Alone and I want to cry hdjajjd It’s so sweet and the way the short film is shot does a gr8 job at telling the story

191212: Random but i iust remembered theres a guy in my health class that thinks/thought I’m a junior/older than him, but ironically he’s like 3 months older than me lmfao

200409: ik “do you think in Canadian” is a sentence that shouldn’t make sense but I 100% think in Canadian smh (this is abt humor vs humour)

[ditlyuk]

Google Cloud Next 19 - Everything You Need To Know | Highlights & Key Note

So as expected the event was very much a Google styled event with all of the fixtures and fittings looking like Google had just bought everything that was green, blue, red and yellow from IKEAs catalogue but it was really well put together and it was really interesting to walk around, there was never a dull moment.

They had candy tubes which dispensed actual jelly beans and this was used to highlight some of Google clouds USPs. They had a full life-size version of chess which was surprisingly popular. Vibrant display stands to draw you in, a pool of ducks obviously, a full arcade complete with retro-styled ssh terminals to allow you to practice your server commands. They also had a complete ‘Dev Zone’ game which was essentially a step-by-step tutorial of some of Google Clouds services. There was also a Lego board  with lego artist and a feedback board for questions which every company needs, oh and lastly, a cow, because, why not?

Keynote

So onto the serious stuff! Google opened up the event with their main stage key note opened by Alan Coad, the managing director of Google Cloud. Alan basically opened up the day and stated the purpose of the event which was basically to bring all the customers of Google Cloud together to share the new innovations that Google has been working on so that we can collectively build better technology which runs in the cloud and move away from stand alone in-house servers. Which essentially is the essence of cloud technology.

Infrastructure

As the Keynote moved on Alan invited various members of the Google cloud team onto the stage to talk about the new product and capabilities Google was bringing to Cloud. Firstly they mentioned their new N2 and N2D Processors from AMD and Intel which are purpose built processors designed for Virtual Machines. So unlike the processor in your laptop which is dedicated to your laptop these processors are designed to be able to run multiple workloads across multiple virtual machines or servers if you prefer. So they are super powerful and these latest versions included multiple performance improvements which will greatly impact the performance of virtual machines in Google’s Cloud.

Next they introduced, Bring your own IP. So in the past, for any server you spooled up in Google Cloud you would have to assign it a new IP from Google’s inventory, this isn’t great if you’re migrating an existing service and want to keep the same IP. Well now you can bring your IP address into Google Cloud which is much more seamless. 

They also released a handful of other new features such as the acquisition of CloudSimple, a cloud migration software company. Cloud SQL or SQL Server, New enhancements for SAP infrastructure, support or bare metal Oracle workloads and a Network Intelligence Centre for network troubleshooting and testing in real-time.

Data

Next Google moved the keynote to focus on big data, which is one of the buzzwords of the year. Big data is so important at this point in time and the reason behind it is due to Artificial Intelligence. We are fully ware that Artificial Intelligence is coming and it’s going to have a huge impact on technology and our lives but to make AI work you need data, lots of data.So companies right now are harvesting as much data about anything and everything that they possibly can in order to build AI systems for the future. 5 years ago, companies would often delete or cleanse data and keep only what they needed as to store and query it consumed a lot of resource. Now however, is the complete opposite as the value of data is so rich and the cost to store and query it in the cloud has reduced significantly that we are now storing huge amounts of data.

Google knows this and so it flexed it’s cloud data warehousing tool, Big Query, by supporting huge data sets of 100’s of petabytes of data and new data engines other that SQL. On their Keynote Google even quoted that one of their customers ran the largest query they have ever seen which resulted in 100 trillion rows of data, to put that into perspective there’s 7.8 billion people in the world, there’s 1,000 billions in 1 trillion and this query resulted in 100 trillion rows so there are 13 thousand rows of data for every person in that query.

Streaming Data

Google then went on to discuss the processing of live streaming data, so this is data from services such as Netflix and Spotify. This is type of data collection and storage is particularly tricky but it’s important as 30% of data generated will be real-time by 2025 according to the IDC.  For example this type of data could be tracking something such as the number of times songs have been listened to on Spotify. This is a huge task as the data is consistently changing at the rate of millions of entries per second. Spotify is actually a customer of Google Cloud and this is exactly what they use Google Clouds Data tools for. They use Google Clouds Data Flow tool to track the number of times artists songs have been listened to so that they can pay the artists the correct royalties that they are owed, they also use the exact same system to display a personalised yearly roundup for each Spotify user for the artists and songs that they have listened to the most that year. If you’re a Spotify user, you should have received an email with a link on to your personalised lookback already this year.

Lastly one of the biggest announcements for Google’s data tools was ‘Connected Sheets’ this is where you can take data for Big Query, which is a data warehousing tool capable of storing trillions of rows and data and then syncing it to a standard Google Sheet so you can apply filters, graphs, share and analyse the data in a simple and familiar platform. That, to be honest is quite amazing. Try putting over a million rows into Microsoft Excel and watch it crumble under the strain - that is if your PC will even allow you to that in the first place.

AI

So, moving on, we can’t talk about tech an not mention Artificial Intelligence or AI for short. It’s obvious it’s the future and it’s already becoming established in out everyday lives, the ship has sailed with AI and there’s no looking back. Unsurprisingly, Google is playing a large part in this. They firstly present the Contact Centre AI platform which is now readily available for any company to use and it’s even been integrated with 74% of telephony providers across the world. Contact Centre AI is essentially like having Google’s Assistant working in a call centre, it can independently talk to customers, process and relay information with alarming accuracy and it can also replicate human speech stumblings like when we say ‘erm’  when we’re thinking between sentences and also variance in pitch to sound as if you are just talking to a person.

TPU’s

Okay, so one of the biggest talking points at the whole event was Google showcasing the TPU’s. So, let's start from the top. A TPU is a Tensor Processing Unit. Tensor is the type of mathematical algorithm required to run Artificial Intelligence based queries. So a TPU is essentially a computer which has purposefully been built to process tensor algorithms and code and nothing else. Google explained that the reason they have built this is because Moores law has now come to an end. Moores law was a theory which stated that the advancement in processing power doubled every year as we were able to reduced the size of a transistor by half and therefore double the number of transistors on a silicon wafer every 2 years. However, we’ve now reaching the physical limit of transistor size and we currently can not make them any smaller. The only way to increase computing power is by multiplying the number of processors in a device or by optimising that device to carry out a very specific task, very well. And that’s exactly what Google has done with their TPU’s. They’ve engineered a processing unit which is perfectly optimised to cary out AI functions and nothing else. So these are not machines that you could run Windows 10 on for example, they have one job and you pay by the hour to use them for that specific job. Google’s latest TPU board, TPU 3 can process 420 tera flops in a super small footprint.

Google then connects 64 of these TPUs together to create what they call a Pod, which is essentially an incredibly powerful super computer than can process AI functions and incredible speeds. These TPU pods are available to use in Google’s cloud platform now and have been for some time, you can rent the usage of a pod in quarter sections, so you could request the processing power of quarter of a pod (or 16 TPU’s) and run you code on that hardware all from a laptop, connected to the internet anywhere in the world. Google claims that these TPU pods can process AI functions faster than any other cloud AI service.

G Suite

Okay so to those that know me they know that I’m a big lover of Google’s Gsuite. Which is Googles office tools for business and education. Now, I’m going to make a fairly bold statement here which most people won’t agree with but I’m going to go out on a lim and try to predict the future. So here it is, in 5 years - 8 years time, Microsoft Office won’t be a thing. I truly believe that G Suite is dominating the market and those that haven’t moved over yet are being held back significantly. Microsoft is stuck in the past and can’t bring its users up to date with G Suite. Of course, Google agrees as they stated that independent research claims that companies using G Suite save 21 work days per employee due to the efficiencies of G Suite and they also have a reduced risk of a data breach by 95%.

Google released a few update to G Suite which continue to out perform Microsoft’s Office in multiple ways. For example, they have released Smart Compose to Google docs under a Beta. Smart Compose is currently available in Gmail and it’s a helpful feature that auto suggests the next part of your email based on AI learnings of what people tend to write. With this feature now available in Docs, Google will effectively be helping you to write your documents. All powered by Google’s advanced neural networks on their TPUs and delivered to you in a fraction of a second. This is the power of fully cloud based office.

Google also released support for Google Assistant with G Suite, so now business users can use Google Assistant capabilities to write emails, book meetings, dial into calls and more, it’s like every employee who uses G Suite gets a free personal assistant with Google.

Support

Lastly, Google finished the talk with a nice hint towards improving their enterprise level support which is very much needed. Initially I think Google Cloud went with the stance of here’s the tools you need, go and build something and then whatever you build is your responsibility to maintain so we can’t offer support. And to some extent that’s still true, and the end of the day Google can not become a support team for every application and database built on Google cloud but I think it can do more to help businesses and seems to be making moves in the right direction. General support on server configuration and configuration of the cloud tools will be highly appreciated by system admins and developers across the globe so it’s really refreshing to hear them say this.

Okay so that’s my very top-level highlight summary of my day at Google Next’19, there is so much more I could talk about ad I did attend multiple other talks after the keynote which went into more detail about some of the things I have mentioned and more. However, there was so much to take in and so much going on at Next ’19 that it isn’t possible to relay it all back. If you’re interested to learn more about the event and would like to see more detail then I’ll leave a link to the Google Cloud YouTube channel playlist for Next ’19 which has hundreds of videos from the 2 days from talks, to workshops to discussion panels, there really is so much information packed into to 2 short days.

So thanks for watching, if you liked this video then please tap the like button below and leave a comment to let me know what you thought. Also if you haven’t done so already then please subscribe to my channel to see more videos like this, I try to upload a video once a week although I have been a little late recently as this was such a big video to plan and edit. A lot of time and effort does go into these videos and I publish them completely for free so if you could show your support and hit that subscribe button then I would really appreciate it.

Thanks again and I’m looking forward to next time.

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I will never understand what kept you near me aside from momentary need. I am happy you brought up all the ways you would never cherish me or protect me though. The true nadir began when you decided I was to “blame” for the state of our relationship. The true blame lied with you, it lay in the weeds you planted… I never even said it. Numerous times I tried to clarify that no one was “to blame”…. But i was wrong. It was you. Very simply it was the ways you would never cherish or protect me… Defend me when pressed… Sure… But only because you will defend anything…. You know unequivocally that I would have burned for you… Even if only to prove you were worth it… I would have never even attempt to ask 20% of that of you because I would have been simply disappointed… And even that was a stress I simply bore, not recognizing it for what it was. So when you made my two breakdowns… Yes breakdowns Under the stress of supporting and caring for someone who seems to care about anyone other than the two of us more than anything. When I get to repeatedly hear about how willing you are to help your friends get their lives moving forward… And how you sacrifice everything of yourself to a relationship and see none of that reflected on me….. Reading and writing with your one friend Listening to the music and reading the lyrics of your other friend (who you secretly love and pine for after reading the lyrics while telling everyone else in your life but not me) Constantly waiting for video and art updates from your other friend (who in public you refer to as your wife and lover but I am some unnamed shadow) And constantly going on discussions of cosplay with online friends and getting a couple “oh yah we’ll do some stuff so I can show off your body” basically…. For me. So yes. On the days you decide to be blatantly cruel due to some hidden and callous “slight” I cast your way or some offense to your astrology and drag out my punishment for an hour or two of silence, dejected refusal to acknowledge reality amd deciding my attempts to help you are really more proofs of me being hurtful or ignorant…. Or the day I was told my grandmother was entering palliative care and you decided it was a good argument to smash my property and scream almost hysterically until you had to be physically restrained and even then almost clawed out my eyes? On those days…… I finally break down. I dont know if anyone reads this or takes the time. I don’t care. You can judge me and say “what kind of man loves like this”? I do not care. I was willing to give this woman anything because that seems to be my role in meeting inescapably damaged people… It is the wound I carry and it doesnt bother me, now that i know what it is… I have been made to feel like the smallest nothing but I am intellectual and well built physically to the point that I can destroy people mentally or physically, people can be afraid of me just by being me…. When I stumble across someone female in the situation of being bent and damaged but not broken by the world I feel comfortable enough to give up my control to them because they can teach me the softness I don’t have. In the process, for the first time… They have the opportunity to hurt, the power of control… And the passed few haven’t handled that responsibility very well. You were no different. I don’t judge you for it, although it is true. You took the ability to be Poison Ivy with her Bane and gave it up because you didnt agree with the symbolism and instead wished for Superman, a few thousand miles away. I wouldn’t have cared. I am a Gemini remember (you’re with me if you want to be or you arent. Case closed)…. I could easily live with that… But you took my dedication to you and turned it into something wrong or bad You took away any chance of forgiveness for the two times i broke down and made it into that being who or what I am. You know my ability to cause violence and I never once turned it towards you even a tiny bit…. Because my tiny bits would cause incredible damage to someone as tiny as you… And yet…. When you made me out to be the problem, that hint of violence was your goto. That was why I broke down for the third and final time and why I cant speak to you until the passage of years has grown you, or until you grow into rest of the 98%‘ers and the point is moot. I would have burned for you. I gave up some of the things that men think make them men for you. You had a Lion that would give you his belly. I dont mind that you didnt love me. C'est la Vie. It hurt, not going to lie. There is no way I would have broken down the way I did and shouted you out of my house the way I did had you simply told me that. You dont have the right to say things about me in regards to love because that honour goes to your “friend”. I want to be clear. He didn’t break us up. You did. This is not about your feelings for the other people you pretend to be poly with. This is about your lack of empathy and love for me. I am sure you have people you have talked about astrology with and even if I was mentioned alongside his name… The focus turned to him and progressed with me as a side note. How many people have seen his chart? How many people have seen mine? Has nothing to do with him. It has everything to do with you. You couldn’t even see I was literally crumbling internally that last morning when I lost it… Its not that you have some different form of love than I, its that you don’t love me. A year in I never would have given two shits whether or not you loved me, but it kind of sucks to see you more in love with yourself and him than I. And you are only being disingenuous to yourself from this point if you don’t see it. When I finally broke down I was like turning in circles and I turned to you in some weird confusion to hug you (because i didn’t know what else to do) you only saw the beast and not the cub…. Remember telling me about needing to cry? Had you hugged me then amd petted my head and told me it would be alright this story would be different. That would have been the action of both a friend and a lover to seeing the one they care for in obvious distress. You put your hands out like I was unclean… And I still didnt even really know what I was doing. Do you know I actually can’t even remember at what point or what was said when I lost it…. That whole period I almost stood outside myself and watched me spin my wheels and wring my hands turning this way and that before turning to you for a hug… I want you to know if you made it this far that I dont hate you. I reserve my true indifference for those I hate. You would never get this piece of writing. I will never mail this to you though. It will remain buried here for a long as it remains a digital memory of this time. If you find it, even then you may still blind yourself. So here it will remain… I don’t need to prove anything. I never did, thats why when a fool and a wise man argue its hard to tell the difference… I dont have any of the “pride” or ego based contradictions to iron out, prove or make fundamental to my life…. I live just fine in my skin, its you my dear that has those issues to follow through on. My lesson was to truly learn my role as the Blackbird in your life and if the alignments continue to bring me more like you I will only learn to be more patient and more caring until I get it right. One day when you are willing to be honest with yourself and actually sit down and learn who you are as a concept and not as what a concept defines you as we will talk. If there is the core inside you that everyone spiritual can see and that you cannot it will grow and break itself free of you and leave this cage behind… That will require you discovering your spirituality and that is inside not in some book or forum of painters all painting with the same color. Maybe you see the things I write, maybe not. This really isnt for you although I talking to you, its for me. I can finally just let you go… It’s taken so long and I am still hurt and mad, i am happy i know though and it’s worked its way through to the separation of our energies. I was thinking about how you would feel if you pushed him numerous times to the breaking point until he had his two breakdowns in the year you spent in his presence… And i realized that it wouldn’t happen because you are trying to buy your redemption and self worth through him… Because it was only his ex that pushed him to the point where he couldn’t handle it… Not sure how self aware you were when you made the claim that you could be like her to him… You heard and felt his pain over it, and you have projected your own insecurities into that place. The damsel in distress bit probably worked with whatever guy in town you were talking to before we were done, and if it has any effect on your true love…. It was only to show him where he wouldn’t find his redemption. The round about funny thing is… And i have never considered it until now people who have the “unrequitted” love syndrome pass it on karmically to the ones that follow.... sure to subconscious projection of superiority over the same arch type that previously caused them intense pain… You dont have to get over me, I have now finalized my getting over you... Its you who has to get over him. Maybe one day when you are ready to admit some things to yourself we will talk again... and if not then maybe in our next lives we can be cats. Take care of yourself