#amal and his really not so great night

[aquanova99]

Haunted (Cato x Reader)

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Part 12

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Y/Ns POV

This was suddenly so uncomfortable. Not because you didn’t enjoy Cato’s company but because you had to make it seem as if this had never happened before. He begins asking questions you know he knows the answers to, you respond the way you’re supposed to. Laughing intermittently, placing your hand strategically on his arm. Him doing the same but placing his hand on your thigh, brushing a stray hair out of your face. So rehearsed. A perfect execution. Its infuriating.

Neither of you have talked about the kiss the two of you shared. You are almost certain he regrets it. Well, maybe not. But why avoid the topic, or avoid trying to kiss me again? Rationally you know you have to separate your emotions, you know it gives the capitol more to take from you. No one could know about the feelings growing for him. If they were real and not something you are clinging to simply because you need someone then everyone needs to not know. The victors were still undecided on whether snow knows of the act. Take away all of their leverage. Which would great except it wasn’t true at all. Not for you. You couldn’t even think about anyone else. Anything else.

You refocus on your lines. Everything is going perfectly, you could feel people begin to stare as you try and be ‘quiet.’ You wait for the next cue. Five…four….three…two…one…

Cato leans over to whisper something in your ear, “Are you still doing okay?”

You pretend to look surprised and lean over to whisper something back, your hand covering your mouth. “All good. You?”

He nods as if you’ve said something interesting. This is exhausting. How are we supposed to continue doing this? You think about Peeta, and how you’d hated every second of acting regardless of how much you grew to care for him. It was also very easy because no matter what his plans were, he was a great conversationalist. Must be part of deal, I guess. You eventually get ‘interrupted’ by Cashmere, who tells you both to stop isolating yourselves. You go back to the bigger group, and you wonder if Mallory has figured everything out. You hope not. You decide to make more small talk with some of the people who are also worn out from all the dancing, some peacekeepers look at their watch and Darius more or less warns you its time to go home. Everyone is worn out by the time you arrive back at the victors village, Haymitch is too drunk to even walk so Cato and Mallory half drag half carry him to your couch.

Mallory slurs a good night and heads to bed, Amal teasing him about having to carry Haymitch. Cato collapses on the couch next to you. His arm covering his eyes.

“I don’t think him getting black out drunk was part of the plan…” He grumbles

“No, I doubt it would be.” You chuckle, “I wouldn’t think anyone from district 2 would struggle so much moving one person.”

He opens his eyes just to glare at you. Cashmere and Enobaria laugh before saying goodnight. You ignore Cashmere telling the two of you to behave and pretend you don’t hear it. You didn’t want to acknowledge anything other the agreed upon relationship. Both of you depended on each other to avoid any more Capitol advances. You both chose to ignore that night. Well, you tried to ignore it but you couldn’t deny you had thought about how warm you felt upon him kissing you. It ignited a hunger unlike any other, a hunger you didn’t really understand, but you both silently seemed to agree that it was best not to entangle yourself any more than necessary. So, you both seemed to silently agree to deal with the nightmares the remainder of the week. No wonder he was tired. You wished you could just know whether this stupid plan was going to work or not already. Especially because there was no guarantee this would go farther than the two you “falling in love.” I’m sure the capitol would eat that up, two people forced to be kept apart. Best to keep hope at a minimum. Avoid any other feelings you can’t really explain. There may be no avoiding your fate, a life serving the people in the capitol…you can think of nothing worse.

Well… that’s not true. You would gladly do that if it kept your family, your friends, safe. Maybe this plan kept you safe too, that would be nice. You know winning the games painted too large a target on your back, on your family’s back. But maybe you could their attention elsewhere, focus their at you. You bite the inside of your cheek so hard it almost bleeds. The anger will be directed at you…and Cato. And the though of him being punished because of you turns your stomach to lead.

“You’re doing it again.”

His voice makes you jump, you know he knows but you ask anyway, “Doing what?”

“Getting paranoid about all of this.” He gestures with his free hand, and you get slightly irritated that he doesn’t even have to look at you to feel your anxiety rise.

“I’m just hoping Haymitch doesn’t throw up on my floor.” He chuckles and finally looks at you, you quickly stand up and cover Haymitch in a blanket. Trying to avoid any of those feelings that were desperate to complicate things further. You enjoyed his friendship first and foremost, and you weren’t willing to risk that right now by not understanding what exactly you were feeling. So you continue to find things that need to be done, you grab a bucket to put next to Haymitch, grab a wet rag to put on his forehead. You head towards the kitchen to grab him a glass of water before you can acknowledge Cato again, “You should get some sleep.”

“You too.” He starts to walk off but before you can decide whether you feel relief or frustration he stops at the foot of the stairs, “have you been able to?”

You play dumb because you both know the answer, “Able to what?”

“Sleep.”

You take a deep breath, trying to stop your shaking hand from spilling the water over Haymitch as you set it down. “Not really. You?”

“Not at all. Come with me?”

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Catos POV

You really need to know when to leave things alone. You want to tell her not worry about it, to forget about it. But you can’t. The words don’t come, you think in reality, because you wouldn’t mean them. You can only blame yourself. You shouldn’t have kissed her. You needed to prove to yourself you didn’t feel anything for her, not like that. You swore it was guilt for hurting her, or the need to repay her for not treating you the same way everyone else did. No, the only thing you did was confuse yourself further because that wasn’t what you were feeling at all, and the only thing you did was confuse yourself further. Not understanding why she pulled away so quickly, not understanding why you wanted to pull her back, not understanding when you started muddling your thoughts and feelings together.

You could she was hesitant to answer, like maybe she was confused on everything too. And why wouldn’t she be, you had all but ensured that. But for her to accept out of pity… “Sorry. Just forget about it.”

You walked as quickly as you could to your room. You barely changed out of your clothes before collapsing onto the bed, you knew full well this wouldn’t be a peaceful sleep, but may as well try. Maybe it would help you forget how stupid you felt.

It didn’t.

Your nightmares had started off as they always did. You watched yourself in getting ready to run towards the cornucopia. The usual it seemed, you never thought you would long for the usual. Because once it started changing, you felt frozen. People you knew were in your games. People you hated to admit you cared for… Enobaria, Haymitch, all of them running away in the bloodbath. And you were still hunting them all down, unable to stop. You tried to protect them maybe take the hits, but the other you, the one you were always forced to watch would always win. As the games continued you knew what was coming. But you could never quite reach yourself in the dream, as if something always prevented you from taking over and stopping the monster everyone would label as Killer Cato.

It was time for the girl, Dhara. Fuck. The only girl who once made you hesitate was hunched over, same as the games. She seemed bigger this time. She was crying, begging for you to spare her. No… Stop you scream at yourself internally. You know its useless, you’ve never been able to stop yourself. This was different… when she looked up her usual tear stained face wasn’t the one who had haunted you since you won. Oh my god. Stop please. This isn’t the girl. Y/n tear filled eyes look at you through a curtain of messy tangled hair…

“Please…”

Stop. Please. You are trying reason with a dream. Try as you might to stop it, and you do everything to try and stop. You still watch yourself brutally kill Y/n. You scream useless protests. Its supposed to be quick. Its always quick when it’s the girl. Why is the you in the dream dragging it out. Its brutal. You see yourself picking her and pushing her against the cornucopia completely stopping her airway, the worst part is Y/n is still screaming for help. She seems to see you but the you attacking her kills her the second she reaches out. You don’t follow yourself after he’s done. You look at Y/n’s lifeless eyes and you start begging her to stay with you though you know its worthless. Her eye’s still unblinking but her lips start to move. Barely managing to get a whisper out. She’s mouthing your name. This is exactly what would have happened and it makes you sick. Her body begins disappearing and you find yourself panicking trying to figure out how to help

“Cato!” Y/n whispers angrily. You start to feel her arms try and shake you. Your eyes pop up and you begin thrashing. “Stop. Its okay.”

You feel hands gripping your shoulder. You feel stuck and you can tell your pushing Y/n off. You’re surprised at how string her grip is. But your body isn’t listening, its hard to breathe... Your eyes shoot open and you shoot up freeing yourself instinctually. Your head is whipping around. Your eyes are still adjusting to the dark when she sits in front of you and grabs your face, forcing you to look at her.

“Stop.” She almost hisses at you.

You cant breathe right, you blink to focus on her face. Panting as you order your body to breathe. The lifeless eyes that you saw in your dreams don’t match the person in front of you. Before you can say anything she throws her arms around your neck and you have a brief moment of panic before you can hug her back. You realize your holding her as tightly as you can without injuring her, afraid of seeing any damage done while you were unconscious. Her hand is stroking her your head and neck. Your throat feels dry. Before you can offer a hoarse apology she pulls back to look at you.

“Are you okay?”

“Did I hurt you?” Is the only thing that comes out of your mouth

She shakes her head, “No. I’m fine. I’m worried about you.”

She should be worried about herself, you think. She tries to lift up your face to look at her, but you can’t. You used up your words. Your eyes squint as she turns on a lamp. She should just give up. No use talking to you in this state. But that’s not exactly her style.

 “Okay. Its okay. Uhm…” Her words are barely registering, “Can you move your head? Can you nod for me?”

You can slightly feel your head lift up and down twice.

“Okay. Is there anything I can get for you?”

You force your head to shake once.

“I’m going to lay you down, okay?” You finally look at her, her hair is a bit disheveled but nothing like what would haunt you if you went back to sleep. You don’t protest as she gently pushes you back down. You spot the scar on her arm, healed but a reminder of what you were capable of. That the nightmare isn’t too far off from reality. Her hands gently brush the side of your head.

“Should I go?”

You grip her other hand. You feel her place her other hand on yours and peel it off. You start beginning to hyperventilate again before realizing that she is only doing what you asked and laying down. You try and shift to give her as much space as you can. She stares at the ceiling and starts humming some kind of melody. Your eyes struggle to stay open and you try to focus on your partner, your ally alive and breathing. Alive. When it finally does register that everything is okay you fall into a dreamless slumber.

You wake to the smell of breakfast wafting through the house. You r hand reaches out and finds no one beside you. You have a brief moment of panic before realizing Y/n is likely the source of the smell. You try and hurry down, offer some help and an apology for worrying her.

“Good morning! I invited Katniss and Prim over today. Thought I would start with breakfast since everyone was sleeping in.”

“Morning…” You debate bringing it up, but its not something you think she would want to hear, “Can I help?”

“Everythings almost done, I’ll wait on the eggs since they cool down almost immediately when Katniss gets here.”

“Okay.” You decide to start washing up the dishes building up in the sink and try to make yourself useful, “Thank you by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You feel a squeeze on your shoulders as she walks by you and continues keeping busy.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Of course I did. I hope you got some better sleep.”

“I did.” Thanks to you, you think. You want to say more but people begin filtering in. Amal is quick to run and begin helping you with the dishes, cheerful as always. Mallory gets handed some food and walks out the door, probably for their parents. Amal begins talking away and you’re glad for the distraction. When Mallory comes back with Katniss and Prim, you’re asked to wake everyone else. Haymitch takes the longest but his stomach wins out. Brutus decides to stay back.

“Good morning everyone!” Cashmere floats in, “Y/n, you didn’t have to do all of this!”

“After last night I think everyone could use some food. Please, everyone grab what you would like. You try not to notice Katniss sulking. Prim and Amal immediately begin livening up the room but you’re watching Y/n. Her and Katniss go outside and you have to force yourself to not try and figure out what they’re talking about. Its clear she planned this, maybe since the outing was scheduled to debrief with her “cousin.” You wondered if she had caught on to what Y/n was doing and exactly how much did she already know. And why wouldn’t she talk to you about it? When they come back they both seem more relaxed and the younger kids get Katniss to socialize. Until Y/n brings up something you’d been unaware of.

“So, Mal…did you ever talk to Brutus?” Y/n asks

“Yeah me and Amal have been training. We’re getting better.”

You and Prim freeze. She speaks first, “You’re training?”

“Well, we’ve uhm” Mallory clears his throat, “we heard rumors sometimes family members get picked for the games. Its probably a coincidence but, you know my names in there a few times so I thought I’d train.”

“Its smart. If you guys get reaped then at least you have a chance.” Katniss murmurs.

“I wish I was strong enough to train.”

“Its not always about strength.” Cahsmere shrugs, “some kids use brains, some are fast, others hide, some just have good aim.”

“Then…could we train too?” Prim squeaks out, “My sister has her name in there a lot. And I already got called so maybe they’ll call me again.”

“Would that be okay?” Katniss asked

“That’s a lot of kids.” Haymitch grumbles, “it could draw the wrong attention?”

“Would you be able to not say anything to anyone else?” Y/n asks, she stares at Katniss and they both seem to communicate with eachother without saying a word

“Yes.” She answers back

“We’ll figure something out.” Enobaria continues eating, “to be honest Katniss, from what everyone says. You really maybe need to gain more weight. Oh, and definitely you would need to practice charming the Capitol. If you can do that you could win.”

“That’s the most important thing?” Prim asks

“You have no idea, kid.” Haymitch grabs a muffin and stomps back toward his house. Y/n stares for a moment before standing up.

“I uhm, need to step out. Hopefully I can join you guys in a training session without freaking out. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” She rushes out and you don’t need to look to know shes going to try and talk to Haymitch. The group disperses soon after. Katniss and Prim are given food to give out how they see fit, and Mallory and Amal take some as well to deliver. Its only just occurring to you that this must have taken Y/n hours. You wonder if she actually did have a good nights sleep after all.

“Stop pacing Cato, just go check on her if you’re so worried. We’ll clean up.” Cashmere smiles. You try not to be annoyed at how ridiculous you’re being. You try and prove you don’t need to need to go out, and you get frustrated that you consider listening to Cashmere’s advice. It’s a couple hours before Y/n comes back. You force yourself to stay seated when you hear the door.

She sighs and sits next to you, her head leaned back against the couch, “Its been a day let me tell you.”

“Everythings okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t tell me about…”

“I know.” She says simply

“Why?”

“I didn’t confirm it until today. We obviously aren’t ready to train anyone. I needed to focus on one thing at a time.”

You cant decide if you accept or hate this answer. “Everyone else knew.”

“Brutus must have told them, I had no idea they knew.”

“Is that what you were talking about with Katniss?”

“Yes.”

“There more.” You know theres more.

“She wanted to make sure I was fine. Which I am.”

“You mean…”

“All I mean is she wanted to make sure I’m fine.” You can tell shes refusing to say it

“She wanted to make sure you’re safe because of me…” You realize you haven’t asked anything, only confirmed all of your worries. They weren’t questions but facts. And you wanted her to say it.

“Because we both freaked out. Kind of like you’re doing right now.” She laughs, “Its fine, I promise.”

You cant, its all you seem to do lately. She reaches out and squeezes your hand. You hold onto it and sit together in silence for awhile until the door opens and her brothers come in with news.

“Everyone says thank you!” Amal beams

“They also keep asking us whats going on with you two.” Mallory sits in front of you and Y/n, you both take a quick look at each other and know they still cant know anything. Y/n laughs first.

“I enjoy his company but theres nothing going on. Just getting to know each other I guess.”

The older of the two glares at you, “I’ll be honest I do enjoy her company more than most people, but we there’s nothing going on. Right?”

The best lies have a hint of truth in them. There really isn’t any hiding that you would rather spend your time with her. Its easy. And you needed easy in your life. But, this is supposed to a drawn out act. So, hopefully she knows how to play along. She does. She holds you gaze for a little longer than you were expecting.

“Uh huh right.” He faces the younger one, “pay up.”

Amal pipes in, “Dang it. Now I have to do extra pushups tomorrow.”

“You guys bet??” Y/n exclaims and throws a pillow in their direction. And they all burst out laughing

“Too easy.” Mallory says. Y/n steers the conversation back to what they saw when they were giving out the food. Mostly its rumors about the two of you, which works in your favor. You can see Cashmere getting close and listening in. Definitely about to report to everyone else. The two hear Enobaria practicing some kind of music and curiosity gets the best of them when Cashmere tells them they can go see. Giving you both a thumbs up before leaving.

“Amal’s going to lose it when he finds out he was ‘right.’”

“He can make Mallory make it up later.” You joke

She chuckles, “Yeah…I did mean it by the way. About enjoying your company.”

You smile at her reassurance. As if she knows your worry about this only being an allyship, “I meant it too.”

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Y/N’s POV

While you’ve learned to love your stylists, they sure have a way of making a girl feel insecure. Flavius and Venia, tsk and sigh about your nails, your hair, your eyebrows… You want to start asking questions about their life in the capitol and let them talk about themselves. But you had an unexpected visitor and your mind is anywhere but here…

Earlier…

You had been taking the last two months to adventure more and more into the forest. Back to the woods you had loved for so long. It was a good way to try and get your bearings. And truthfully, you missed the comfort of the woods, of the solitude it brought. You went as early as you could, especially now that the victory tour was near. You could kind of see Cato wanting to ask to go, he never did and you were glad for it. The more outings you had the more conflicted you felt, you slept together almost every night. It was easy to rationalize you had an ally to watch your back but it was draining trying to decipher what part you were both acting out and what part was possible feelings building for each other or your feelings specifically becoming entangled. The closer you got to the victory tour the less the two of you spoke, further making things irritable and more confusing. So, you did what you always did when you were stressed. You ran to the woods.

You realistically would say yes if he wanted to go with you, but you knew he was wary of anything that might take him back to the games. You wanted to tell him what happened wasn’t his fault, but then you worried that would make it worse. What if he thought you saw him as weak? It was too confusing. So better to let him ask if he wants to go.

“Y/n! Did have a nice walk around the square?” Cashmere ran up to you and kissed your cheek.

Immediately there a chill down your spine. You blink and perk yourself up, “Yeah I just stopped by my cousin’s house.”

“Oh how nice!” Cashmere says in a still too cheery tone, “Good news, we have a visitor.”

Two peacekeepers suddenly appear to usher you into the mostly unused study. Your senses are overwhelmed with the smell of perfume. He looks at you as if you’ve spit in his rich capitol food. You’ve never felt more like running and hiding. And you hate that he’s made it so easy, all he had to do was walk in and sit down. If he’s here, its not good. You wondered where your brothers were. What about the other victors? Is this whole charade over? Did you mess everything up? Were they safe?

“I think we'll make this whole situation a lot simpler by agreeing not to lie to each other,” he says. “What do you think?”

You know if he wanted to, you’d be dead in one second and an alibi would have been planted days ago. So, you had some kind of power here. Right? So, what was it? And how do you find out what it is?

“Sounds good to me.” You smile, “What can I do for you?”

He says something about knowing you wouldn’t be difficult but all you can think is what would happen if jumped across the table and killed him, would the peacekeepers get here fast enough? Would it affect anything?

You agree to cooperate. You don’t feel like dying today, especially not for him. You won the games, couldn’t he leave you the hell alone?

“That's what I told them. I said any girl who goes to such lengths to preserve her life isn't going to be interested in throwing it away with both hands. And then there's her family to think of.” He smiles, “Her brothers, parents, and all of these new friends you’ve been making.”

Okay? Get to the point. You sit down and try to not make a face at the floral stench hitting your face.

“I have a problem, Miss Everdeen,” says President Snow. “A problem that began the moment you pulled out those poisonous berries in the arena.”

You were counting on this. But, since he has to make a whole speech. You have time to analyze what to say. Luckily, you’ve been practicing.

“If the Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane, had had any brains, he'd have blown you to dust right then. But he had an unfortunate sentimental streak. So here you are. Can you guess where he is?” he asks.

“I can guess.”

“There wasn’t much to do but let you play out your little scenario. And you were pretty good too. The people in the Capitol were quite convinced. Unfortunately, not everyone in the districts fell for it.”

Interesting.

“So, the districts have been giving you trouble.” You don’t ask. He told you as much. You’re terrified, do the districts even have the people to fight against the capitol? But you cant let him know that.

“Not yet. But they’ll follow if the course of things doesn’t change. And we wouldn’t want a revolution, would we? So many people, dead. The people left would live in terrible conditions. Whatever problems anyone may have with the Capitol, believe me when I say that if it released its grip on the districts for even a short time, the entire system would collapse.”

Worse than the conditions now? If actually cared about the citizens of Panem. He could have found a way to unite the districts and the Capitol. Right? Why so many years of the districts paying for a war that was long over? Worse still, why are the children paying a price that does not involve them. You think of little Rue, and your resolve turns to steel.

“Berries can do all that huh?”

“Unfortunately. But perhaps, not in the way you would think. You do remember our meeting after the games?”

“Of course, you were mad I allied with Rue. How should I think about this then?”

“For starters, you need to make the districts realize all victors want is to come out of the games.”

You’re thrown back to your interviews with Caesar. How Haymitch told you to either be heartless or in love. You weren’t either. Just someone who had cared for their allies a bit too much.  You could barely breathe when you finally sat in front of Ceasar.

“So, Y/n. We’re dying to know. Did Peeta win you over because I have to say I think we were all heartbroken when we found out he couldn’t come back.”

“Me too. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I loved him. I don’t know if I ever allowed myself to fall in love though?”

“Really? Why not, you two were a beautiful couple! Am I right?” He laughs

“I think at first I didn’t want to get my hopes up, and then when I realized I could keep him I did everything to try and bring us both home. But I think he knew deep down there was only going to be one victor.”

“So the berries then, was that love or strategy?”

“Of course it was love. He was the only one who understood me, the kindest person to ever be on the games and I wish it could have been me who ate the berries instead. He deserved it—” I start tearing up and while Ceasar is trying to console me, I wipe my tears from my face searching for Haymitch. You mean every word but this has to believable. I see Haymitch secretly give me a thumbs up while crossing his arms. Soon everyone around us is getting choked up. “I don’t know if I will ever figure out if I was in love with him but I know I grew to love him while I was there. Its too painful to think about anything else.”

“Of course it, of course it is.” Caesar wipes his eyes and concludes the interview. Its easier to lie when theres so much truth involved in it. The only other thing you talk about is wanting to come home.

“You want me to lie…”

“It isn’t a lie.” He insists, “Did you not want to come home?”

“Of course, but I meant what I said about Peeta. He was my priority then. I wasn’t tricking him with the berries. I meant it.” Not really, you knew it would get you both home, one way or the other. You were just hoping the way home was alive. “Effie has already instructed me what to say, Panem today, Panem tomorrow, all that good stuff.”

“And do you continue planning on being a martyr?”

“You mean for the allied districts?” He raises an eyebrow in response, “I plan on thanking them, what else can I do?”

“See to it you make no more mistakes, we wouldn’t want your new friends to be found associated closely with twelve.” He pulls out a device that displays a picture of you and Cato speaking to eachother the other night. He has no idea, you think. “These mentors are purely for show. If you care about all of your allies dying I’m assuming you wouldn’t anyone else to suffer for your mistakes.”

He hits a button and two peacekeeper come and throw Cato on the ground. You cant help yourself, you rush over to his hunched over body. He has a bruise on one of his cheeks and his mouth is dripping blood. They must have attacked him when he wasn’t ready. Protected or not these peacekeepers didn’t look as strong as him. You knew he would have taken them easily.

“Cato?” You try and talk to him but his entire body is shaking, you can tell he’s doing everything to not go back to his arena. You should give him space, but you cant peel yourself away, what kind of ally would you be then?

“District 2 wouldn’t take kindly to a victor associating with your kind. They’re as close to capitol as it gets. You wouldn’t want him to be an outcast in his own districts now would you?” He is so clam about all of this, as if hes won. He has no idea how much disdain Cato has for his district. You wonder how little he actually checks on the career districts or if its just his pride of getting his way for so long.

“I suggest you focus on the cards Miss L/N. Wouldn’t want any one else to worry, you and all those…cousins.” He offers you a rose while you’re still kneeling next to Cato, his breathing finally slowing down. You force yourself to stand to accept the flower.

“Oh its beautiful, I never see these around here.” You pick off a petal and eat it, just to make yourself seem as uncivilized as he seemed to think of you and your home. His face seems to fall for only a second before leaving as quickly as he came. You wonder where all of your fears that had built up had gone to. Regardless, the panic had settled back in and the ramifications of how you had spoken to him began to dawn on you. You would need to talk to Haymitch. Immediately but first…

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Cato’s POV

Your body ached all over. You can somewhat feel your body being led to a chair and you try to remember how you got there. Try to remember anything about this morning.

Y/n had gone out to the woods, and you had been sitting in your room looking over that damn packet you had memorized weeks ago to try and not think about her being out there alone. You knew you could have gone with her but it felt like it was something she needed to do alone, or wanted to anyway. You also knew the victory tour was stressing her out to the point it seemed she wanted almost nothing to do with you. Besides at night anyway. But even then she seemed like she was pulling away more and more each day. You had just decided to refocus on the packet when your door slammed open.

Your panic immediately set in. What were peacekeepers doing here? Did they find out your plan, and if they did where was Y/n? Was she okay?

“We need you to come with us.”

You remember trying not to jump to feeling like you needed to attack them. But before you could ask them to give you a minute, you felt a shock to your body. And then they were all on you. They hit your face first. Then you felt a foot kicking your stomach. You didn’t seem to register anything but needing to get out of there. Two of them restrained you while one more punched you again to stop you from struggling. By the time you were thrown in the room you couldn’t tell where you were. You could hear Y/n say your name but you were frozen. You were fighting to figure out where you were, fighting to not shut down, fighting to ensure you didn’t harm Y/n in another waking nightmare.

You feel something cold against your cheek. It somewhat alerts you back to your surroundings. You blink slowly, the pain in your body finally registering and spreading throughout most of your body. You wince and Y/n reflexively pulls her hand back.

“Sorry.” She whispers as she puts the cold rag back on your face.

“What happened?”

“We got a visit from the President.”

“Are you okay?” You can hear the panic in your voice

“Are you?” She tries to joke but her face is serious, “Why did they grab you?”

“I think they thought I was dangerous. They kept saying to make sure I was neutralized? I don’t know…”

“I’m so sorry Cato. This is all my fault.”

“This wasn’t your idea, remember?” You can see her eyes are still glassy from crying, “I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. Stop doing that. Your body is bruised all over. You need to go lay down. I’ll be there to check on you soon.”

“Where are you going?”

“I need to see Haymitch.”

“Im going with you.” You try and stand up but your vision gets spotty and you immediately know if you make any other move you’ll fall face first.

“Don’t be stupid.” She hisses as she gently sits you back down, “I need you to get some rest, okay? For me, please.”

“I can go, I’ll go slow.”

“No! Just—I need…” She takes a deep breath before shouting, “Cash!!”

She runs in immediately, “He’s okay?”

“As much as he can be, I need to take him to bed. Can you get Haymitch? Just Haymitch?”

“Okay, I’ll drag him over here myself if I have to, but Y/n… its almost time.”

She nods at Cashmere and refocuses back on you, “Alright, stand up. Slowly…”

You decide to listen to her. The amount of time it takes to get you up to her room feels like an eternity. How late was it? How long was her meeting with Snow. How long did it take you to snap out of it? She lays you down and sits next to you,

“What time is it?”

“Don’t worry about it. You rest, as soon as I’m done with the interview I’ll come back. I need you on that train with me, so rest.”

You only nod. You both know rest wont come. Even in this state your nightmares persist. You can sleep, not with the Y/n’s prep team talking over eachother in excitement. Enobaria comes up and enters her room.

“What happened?”

“Y/n filled me and Cashmere in on everything when he left, Cash is trying to talk to Haymitch about it now that everyone is distracted. She doesn’t want Brutus aware. He threatened her with severing you from 2. Look, I know you don’t have any connections back home, but it could make an enemy out of 2 for this place.”

“Or an alliance.”

“Not likely, but it may encourage enough people to not think of themselves as… Capitol.” She mumbles. “We probably wont be allowed to come back after the tour.”

“What??” You sit up and almost immediately regret it again.

“Things are getting tense with the districts. The more the people in the capitol root for you the better the chances are. Listen to Y/n and sleep. We’ll get you when its time to leave.”

You weren’t very good at following directions. You turn on the tv in her room, and wait for the interview to come on. Her makeup is more subtle this time around. You think she looks nice regardless, but you like it better when they don’t completely change her features. She cheerily greets Ceasar saying she never expected to live this kind of life after winning the games…that was true. Then he asked about her life, whats new, and surely she has all of the boys wanting her attention now

‘Oh I don’t know about that…’

‘Come on, surely someone has caught your eye!’

‘Well, maybe but its hard to think of anyone in love with me, especially after… well you know.’ She sniffles and wipes at her eyes, you wonder if that’s true. All you can think about is Darius, how he flirted with her, how her friend from the seam was so possessive over her.

‘I do.” Ceasar says empathetically, ‘I think he would want you to be happy first and foremost. And I bet theres someone you can open your heart to one day.’

‘Maybe one day, but my life is different from their—I mean from everyone that I don’t know if I could see that happening.’

You see Ceasar look up for just a moment, she had planted the start of your story seamlessly. You knew Ceasar would push on her “mistake” in another interview. But for now he moved on, ‘And the other victors? They’re treating you well?’

‘Of course! I’m so thankful that Capitol cares about us victors enough to help us after everything.’ After everything you put us through is what you think, and you figure most of the districts will think, but the Capitol? They would eat that up. Even Ceasar is glowing about her praise. About how thoughtful and kind they are around there. Implying everyone else could simply never be so gracious. If it was up to the districts though, you doubted we would even be in this kind of situation. You think about that for a second, no games. Being able to travel form district to district, you wondered if you would have met Y/n in that life.

‘And you’ve had no issues handling any of the victors, I heard you got a bit more than you bargained for.’

‘I did, but they’ve been very good about only having two of the victors help me adjust. I think the other two just got stuck here in my little district. I hope they don’t hate me too much for that.’ You went from hating almost every person you came in contact with to never being able to imagine hating her, and consequently her family, some of her friends, her home. Always more and more a precarious situation to be sure.

Ceasar finished the interview praising her for her new talent that kept her games alive, why baking was a good reminder that being united as Panem would prevent from any further punishments like the hunger games from happening again. As if the districts hadn’t paid over and over for their role in the war. As if they weren’t sending children who had nothing to do with the war to die for something that happened over seventy years ago. Hypocrites. All of them. Y/n seems to echo your thoughts, her body language shifts and her smile becomes almost too forced.  You find yourself wanting to tell her to ignore them, that she’s almost done.

You wait until Effie Trinket starts chattering away to turn off the television and then wait to be dragged to the train station.

“So. Did you rest or just worry the entire time?” She says as she walks back in.

“Do you want the actual answer?”

“I think I got it,” she smiles before sitting next to you, “Are you ready?”

The train ride isn’t too bad at first, though everyone becomes more visibly anxious. The victory tour is slower, not like the one day trip to the capitol. So at night, everyone tries to avoid sleep. To avoid the triggers that would make you all believe you were heading back to the games for the first time. Y/n becomes more and more silent as she anticipates facing Rue and Thresh’s families. Needless to say, you all arrive at District 11 extremely fatigued. Well, besides Y/n’s prep team anyway. Y/n’s face pales at the clear restrictions put in place to keep the people here in line. Everyone but Haymitch and Effie goes up with Y/n, with the cards she is supposed to recite. The mayor makes introductions, and you can see her frozen, staring only at the families of the fallen. When the mayor introduces her she makes no movement at first.

Her breath is shaky when she finally steps up to the podium, “Uhm…I-I’m sorry.”

She takes a deep breath and reads off Effies cards, she makes no effort to move from her place, only staring at Rue’s family, “I thought I would come up here and thank you for your children and the sacrifices they made. I wouldn’t be here without either of them. I couldn’t save them and I’m so sorry for that. I see them everywhere, take them everywhere I go. They were more than my allies, they were my friends. I wasn’t fast enough for Rue. I cant repay Thresh for saving my life. And I know I’ll owe them forever. I’ll remember them forever. There isn’t enough I can say to apologize for making it when they couldn’t and not there isn’t enough grace to thank them for all they did for me. It was more than anyone could ever know.”

Her voice is breaking the entirety of her speech. She forces herself to breath through it, not allowing pity to go anywhere but towards Thresh and Rue. You hear Brutus sigh and mumble something under his breath. An old man holds up three fingers and whistles the simple tune Rue, Thresh, and Y/n had made to signify they were safe. You think of how much a relief it would be to y/n to see the rest of District 11 acknowledge the bond the kids built out in something so terrible, but the panic in her eyes gives you pause. You look out to see peacekeepers grab the old man and drag him up the stairs, you look back to see Y/n screaming and kicking at the peacekeepers to let him go, to let her go so she can help. One might think she actually knew this person. They throw her back in the justice building and Haymitch grabs her before she can try and fight her way back out. The peacekeepers gun point at Y/n and her team as they scream for them to get back.

“Haymitch I wasn’t trying to start anything! I need to help him. Please!” Shes fighting to get back out, he moves his head telling you to take his place. You dont know why you didn’t intervene earlier. You thought her state when you first got to twelve was bad. But this…she was completely broken. You remember only seeing her get like this in the games, after Rue, after Peeta. You couldn’t help and you didn’t know what to do. You held on tight, trying to ignore her pleas to let her go. You only hold tighter.

“Y/n. Stop. Come with me.” Haymitch pulls her and begins walking away as Effie starts reprimanding the peacekeepers. You look to see Brutus still overlooking the crowds. You don’t know if you actually want to find out what happened or not. When you turn back Haymitch and Y/n are gone, and you have no idea where they went.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Taglist: @chloe-skywalker @ietss @tomihoeka @chiimiki @akinatrix @inky-sun @themedsaintworkin @tiktoks-aphrodite @fredweasleysgirl16 @callsign-haze @thestrals-and-firewiskey @dreamsarenicer @deliriousfangirl61 @thirdgf @randomgurl2326 @melancholicsthings @screeching-from-pa @acdfan2023

[bodyhate]

Yesterday was the FSU graduation for the BFAs

We drove down to watch the premiere of all the thesis films

Including the one I was in, Resonance (which when I auditioned was called Deep space)

Also when I auditioned my role was Seth, they changed to Javier after

It's funny cause I mostly saw it as the brainchild of Ryan, but Bryce was very much responsible for its creation

And last night I really got to talk to him and I learned so much

He's such a nice (and cute) guy

And his girlfriend is so cool

Everyone was so fucking nice

We got to the screenings 45 minutes late because we couldn't leave early ebough

I had to get the house ready for me being gone for a month and pack to go to Spain, and to get everything Cody needs ready, and stuff for the road and get the cats ready to be alone for a week

Driving 4.5 hours

Eating lukewarm eggplant parm leftovers in the car

Going through a very scary storm, could barely see

We missed 5 of the films (the animation ones were very short)

Mani (Ryan's dad) gave me a t-shirt with the poster (featured in the pic)

Our movie was great

I was amazed at the special effects

I had not seen any of the green screen footage

It looked so real

Then back to the hotel to check on Cody and after party, Michael stayed at the hotel with Cody

Missed Matt, tried to talk to Isabella, who looked fabulous, but she was hard to reach

Finally talked to Ryan about the film

Talked to Chris, the cute PA, who got into the program (when we were on set had just applied and wasn't sure he'd get in)

Took pics with the boys

Dance like a maniac to Kill VS Maim

Then they kicked us out way too early

There was an after party, but it was at Paolo's and most of the people I was with didn't want to go there because he defended someone that sexually abused this guy, which ended being expelled, a whole mess

So we ended up at a bar, after taking Jenicel to Ryan's place cause her high heels were killing her

Mostly hang with Bryce and his cousin, and his girlfriend, Jami

Then they kicked us out at 2am

So we ended up hanging at Isabella's and Amal's place

Talked to Andrew about jazz and following your dreams

with Imani about emotionally immature men

and just had a great time overall

And everyone was so complementary of my performance

But what are they going to say, that they hated it?

Though I did like my performance as well

It was actually very exciting to watch

Then walking back to the hotel at 4am from Isabella's

Google said 54 min, I did it in 35. I showed her what's what

Now off to St Augustine

[dulcewrites]

Ok, I felt like writing some more of Myrah’s dynamic with her parents since I’ve written stuff with her and and greens. Also show that though their relationship is healthier than whatever the greens got going on, it’s not perfect by any means. I’m using the fools rush in au with that. I do want to write something in the og modern au that involves both the greens (and blacks) and everlanes. I probably will this weekend 🫶🏽

Baby Mine

It took six positive pregnancy test, throwing up her breakfast, a panicked voicemail to Maris, and a google search for Myrah to finally come to terms with being with child.

The six pregnancy test because ‘maybe the first five were wrong’. The voicemail, which she never sends to anyone, because her best friend is apparently immune to picking up the phone before 10:30 in the morning. And the google search…

It started with searching a firm, which led her down a rabbit hole. She saw the last name Targaryen, a bunch of businesses, and a family net with a bunch of zeros.

She threw up again.

Not sure is that time was the about the revelation or the baby. Baby.

Maris eventually comes over, still in her pajamas. When Myrah showed her the google history, Maris could not help but laugh.

“Only you would manage to get yourself accidentally knocked up by millionaire.”

“He didn’t say he was one,” Myrah mumbled into her pillow.

“Considering you only spent a night with him and the outcome, I’m assuming you two were not talking much,” Maris shrugs.

“He has a Great Dane named after a god.”

“Oh, really,” Maris fakes a sarcastic gasp. “He’s totally dad material.”

Myrah throws a pillow at her for that.

“Look babe, you didn’t know this guy’s last name till you searched his job. He doesn’t even have social media. What person doesn’t have social media these days? He could be a killer for all we know,” she rubs Myrah’s back. “I’ll make an appointment at the clinic. You know, the one that Wylla went to freshman year after her… little joyride during spring break. Everything will be taken care of.”

When Myrah doesn’t answer right away, Maris’ positive resolve falters. She sighs. “But I can’t make an appointment because you are thinking about keeping it.”

Myrah rolls over on her back, turning her head to her side dresser. On sit a framed photo of her family at her university graduation. Her grad cap on Esme, her parents kissing her on each cheek. They were so proud of her.

“I think I need to tell my parents.”

She turns back to Maris who gives her a painful look.

“Amal is gonna…”

Myrah holds back a shudder at the thought of how her parents will react.

She wears a sundress, flowy and breezy. Myrah had begun to become paranoid about showing. She looks in the mirror and sees the same body she’s had almost her whole life but she feels as if her mother will be able to sniff it on her.

“Is Essie here,” she wrings her hands together nervously.

“No, Esme at a friend’s house for a school project,” her mom walks her into the living room.

Good. Only two people to disappoint.

She can’t keep eye contact with either of them for a moment. Her mom tries to give her tea which she stares at for a moment.

I don’t even know what pregnant women can drink. Is caffeine bad? God I really fucking want alcohol, not caffine.

“Umm well, I want to talk you guys about something important,” she swallows. “I think - well, I am umm…”

Myrah looks at her parents staring at her anticipation. Her sweet parents, who have done nothing but try and do right by her and her sister. She knows she could not be a quarter of how good they are, not this way. Maybe Maris was right. Thinking about keeping the baby was a bad idea.

She mumbles something softly. Gerald frowns. “What sweet pea?”

“I’m… pregnant.”

Amal is the first react, a small chuckle but with no humor behind it. Gerald just looks confused. His thick dark brows furrowing as newly formed wrinkles settle into his olive skin.

“Pregnant,” Amal repeats with a blank face. “You’ve never even mentioned seeing anyone.”

The tremble of Myrah’s lip gives it all away. Amal throws her hands up before going to leave.

“Mommy, please let me-“

Amal gives her a look, the look, and Myrah clasps her mouth shut. Amal stalks off upstairs with Myrah and Gerald watching in silence. Both flitch when they hear a door slam. Her eyes instantly go down to her hands in her lap, tears blurring her vision. Hot tears splash on her face as she feels the spot in the couch dip next to her.

It was how things always went. If one of the girls fucked up, Gerald would be there with big sad disappointed eyes. A shoulder to cry on. Amal was the problem solver. But there has never been a problem like this.

“I - I don’t know what to say,” Gerald sighs, running a hand over his face. “But you need to talk with your mother.”

Her gaze lifts up to the hallway that leads to the stairs. She feels like a being taken up to her execution. She nods curtly before getting up. Myrah’s feet a little numb as she climbs up the stairs. She thought her mom would be in her parent’s room, but she noticed their double doors being open.

But the door to her childhood room is closed.

She knocks but gets no response. Taking a deep breath, she brings herself to turn the knob in and peak her head in.

Amal is sitting on her bed, hugging a teddy bear pillow.

“Mom, can I come in?”

She looks at Myrah and shrugs her in. Myrah closes the door behind her. She gingerly climbs on the bed next to her mom. There is a painful amount of silence in the room.

“Mom I am so-“

“Do you remember your first art show appearance,” Amal interrupts her silently.

Myrah blinks surprised, but nods slowly. It was a 13 and under competition. The winner recieved a year’s supply of paint from the store that hosted it. She had painted a mural of her parents and sister. Esme had gotten into the red paint one day, said she wanted to paint her face like mom does.

“My sweet girl,” Amal sighs. Myrah’s shoulders slump.

“I’m still your sweet girl mom. I’m just…”

Myrah doesn’t know what she is right now. Her eyes drift to the various paintings and drawings around her room. The cheerleading trophies, and academic achievements. She understands why it feels like a loss of something to her mom. Maybe a quiet innocence that’s been stripped away from all of them now.

She’s either going to become a mom or make one of the hardest decisions someone can. Either way, she knows she can’t do it alone. Even if curling into a ball and hiding away is all she wants to do at this moment.

“I know you are upset, and you have every right to be but I need you and dad right now,” her voice cracks a bit as she feels tears in her eyes. “Because I really don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, my love.”

Amal moves the teddy bear away and pull Myrah into her arms. She cries in her mother’s arms; she’s never felt more like a baby herself.

Her mom just rubs her back silently.

“Are you going to tell… the father? Does he know,” it sounds painful coming out her mouth.

Myrah just frowns and sniffles. “I really don’t know.”

They back to more silence till Amal speaks again.

“Is he hot at least?”

“Mom!”

“What,” Amal exclaims back. “If you’re possibly going to make me a grandmother this young, I would at least like to know that half the dna is coming from someone attractive.”

Myrah thinks about a sweet half smile, and shy blue eyes.

“Yeah, mom. I think he’s pretty handsome.”

Amal sighs, and kisses the top of her head l.

“Well, at least that’s nice.”

Myrah wonders if she should tell her about the other thing. The worth a small fortune thing. She worries that would be implying that she would, or possible child, would be getting any of it. In the warmth of her moms, she decides to keep that part to herself.

For now….

[remembertheskittles]

Right, I've rounded up a few of my faves from the last few years, hopefully you'll find something new that appeals to you 😊 Most of them wander between fantasy/historical fiction/gothic and most of them have compelling relationships (sometimes romantic, sometimes not) between characters. Feel free to peruse at your leisure 🥰

Nettleblack by Nat Reeve

- late Victorian detective farce set in a small Sussex village. Soooo many queer characters. The narrator, Henry, is anxious as fuck (relatable) and her speaking style can be a little grating to start with, but it winds up being endearing. Told through letters/diaries/casebooks, so you get multiple character POVs. I finished reading it last weekend and I adored it.

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

- a book about a night circus, and a bet between two old men about which of their apprentices will win out which spans decades and will have consequences for many more people than just them. But the description is the thing in this book - I'm usually not big on reading really descriptive books (it took me a looooooong time to get through Lord of the Rings) but this one just does it so gorgeously, I could read descriptions about the Night Circus forever.

This is how you lose the time war by Max Gladstone and Amal al Mohtar

- I know this got really popular again recently, but it definitely deserves all the love. An enemies to lovers epic sweeping tale about two immortal beings, Red and Blue, told through their love letters to each other.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M Danforth

- A story told partly in the past, partly in the present; in the past, a boarding school seems to be cursed, and several girls die in horrific but mysterious circumstances. In the present, a movie is being made about and set at the school, and three very different girls are involved in the production and each other's lives. I adored the relationship between the three protagonists and the Gothic haunted old boarding school of it all.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

- TW suicide - a young woman tries to kill herself and finds herself in a magical library between life and death, where every book is a different version of what her life could have been. I just thought the concept was executed beautifully.

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

- Pretty much what it says on the tin. A spoiled Mexican girl goes to visit/rescue her cousin, who's just been married off to an English man who lives in a mansion up a hill through a forest. Spooky gothic vibes, criticism of colonialism, and a protagonist who is flawed without being unlikeable.

Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand

- What if Fleetwood Mac spent a summer recording an album in a creepy old English mansion, among relationship drama, band drama, and a few unsettling ghosts, and then one of them never came back? Told in interviews with the band years later, another one that executes really well on its concept, despite being under 200 pages.

The Lions of Al Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay

- Historical fantasy set in a fantasy version of Muslim Spain. Explores the relationship between a Spanish/Christian soldier, the Muslim adviser to the King (who also assassinated the last emperor) and a Jewish female doctor (obviously the religions are given different names since it's historical fantasy, but that's clearly what they are). The relationships between the characters are so beautiful and nuanced and the ending made me cry. This is one of the books on my reread every few years list, so you know it's good. Definitely a chunky one though!

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

- Henry 'Monty' Montague was raised by his abusive father to be a gentleman, but he prefers to be bisexual and have a good time, and he's hoping his Grand Tour with his bff Percy will be a great last hurrah. Life has other plans, however. Percy is mixed race and also has a disability and that's explored really interestingly in this - it's set in the late 18th century (I believe), so I tend to describe it as YA Black Sails (and mean that as a compliment!). Great friends to lovers romantic subplot. There are also two sequels about Henry's siblings plus a spin off about Henry and Percy, which are also excellent, but this first one is my personal favourite.

oooooh!! these all sound amazing!! thank you so so much! 💖💖

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Amidst the glam of the Clooney Foundation what about that all important substance? by u/Feisty_Energy_107

Amidst the glam of the Clooney Foundation, what about that all important substance? As per the emails back and forth to the school, edu. Dept and Archewell, it was important for Harry and Meghan to be seen as having a substantive trip. So look at the Clooney's last night and their Albie Awards.From the DM: https://archive.ph/kprFe"The awards are billed as being for 'courageous defenders of justice who are at great risk for what they do.''They were named for Justice Albie Sachs, an internationally famous South African jurist who was jailed and then exiled for his activism against the apartheid regime.'This year's honourees included a Ukrainian NGO, a Congolese anti-rape activist and the two Iranian journalists who broke the story of the killing of Mahsa Amini that ignited their country's Woman Life Freedom uprising.'The Albies honour 'brave individuals who, at great personal risk, have devoted their lives to justice,' in the worlds of human rights, business, entertainment, fashion and technology."------This description screams something the Sussex's would want to be seen as being a part of. (Emphasis on the seen.) We have the issues of race, Ukraine, women's freedoms/free press in Iran and an anti-rape activist, all under the banner of justice. Now either Clooney wasn't returning their calls or WME hadn't heard of the Albies (most unlikely). WME have dropped the ball on this one. Quote: Amal said, 'We hope to do it every year and it's really an honour to be able to put on a stage tonight five amazing people. Many of whom we worked with in Ukraine and Congo and Syria, and places that still, you know, sometimes seem to be forgotten." The Clooneys for all that is said about their marriage, walk the walk and talk the talk. post link: https://ift.tt/ZKMaW4T author: Feisty_Energy_107 submitted: September 29, 2023 at 03:35PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[127-mile]

Hi!! What are some of your fave books you've read recently? I'm really curious pls feel free to ramble

Hello! I got really excited when I saw the notification, so thank you.

I've read "This is how you lose the time war" by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, and let me tell you, it was a short book also a ride! A ride mostly because not a lot is explained, you are dropped in a scene, in a world you have limited informations about despite it being our world, you have technology, a war between the past and the present/future.

BUT! It's also a love story, some kind of enemies/rivals to lovers between Red and Blue, two women who belong to different timelines, different sides. And it's epistolary in between the scenes, and the ways the letters are made/found are explained and it's genius.

I become bored quite quickly when the romance is too much, but it was subtle and sweet when the feelings realization happened. It was definitely worth the read and I recommend it if you haven't read it.

---

I was in a bit of a reading slump for a few days and because it was becoming frustrating I read a book I already read a few times. It's called, "Quand vient la horde (when the horde comes)" by Aurélie Luong, book that came out last year so there is no translation (something I hope will happen because this book? 10/10)

A little backstory you didn't ask for, I had never heard of the book or the writer, but one day I went into my favorite bookstore and she was there, so curious I asked her to tell me about her book, and the passion in her voice when she did convinced me to buy it. It's also her first book being published, so I hope she goes far and gets more of her work published.

It happens in a medieval Korea with some Russian touch, as they have invaded the country years ago. The main character, Ivan, survives daily. He is poor, lives with his childhood (and only) friend, when, one night, he gets kidnapped by the white horde. The soldiers of the White Whore, a beautiful woman with white hair who has a goal, avenge her little sister and is not afraid to draw blood. Ivan is the bait. He wants to survive, he wants to get back to his friend and for that he has to play the horde's game. He doesn't have a choice. He does what he is told, get money, and plans his escape.

So it's also a enemies to lovers, but with vengeance being the main point of the book.

I think I could talk for hours about this book as I left a big part of my heart inside. The ending is heartbreaking honestly. The book is dark, touches sensitive subjects but it's nicely written.

-----

I have to talk about Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao. It was a book I wanted to read for so long. (and the author is extremely funny, I follow them on social medias and it's always very fun to see them)

The book has as inspiration for the main character Wu Zetian, the first and only female Emperor of China in the late 600s.

The book is science fiction, lgbtqia+, feminist, with pocs, disabled main character, poly and big robots and aliens, another enemies to lovers (trigger warnings to definitely check before reading)

It's hard to explain the book, so let me copy and paste the summary:

The boys of Huaxia dream of pairing up with girls to pilot Chrysalises, giant transforming robots that can battle the mecha aliens that lurk beyond the Great Wall. It doesn't matter that the girls often die from the mental strain.

When 18-year-old Zetian offers herself up as a concubine-pilot, it's to assassinate the ace male pilot responsible for her sister's death. But she gets her vengeance in a way nobody expected—she kills him through the psychic link between pilots and emerges from the cockpit unscathed. She is labeled an Iron Widow, a much-feared and much-silenced kind of female pilot who can sacrifice boys to power up Chrysalises instead.​

To tame her unnerving yet invaluable mental strength, she is paired up with Li Shimin, the strongest and most controversial male pilot in Huaxia​. But now that Zetian has had a taste of power, she will not cower so easily. She will miss no opportunity to leverage their combined might and infamy to survive attempt after attempt on her life, until she can figure out exactly why the pilot system works in its misogynist way—and stop more girls from being sacrificed.

I'm not that into science fiction, but I was curious. I do have to admit I was lost a few times with some terms used for the robots, and also had a hard time imagining things in my head, but I liked the way her relationship with Shimin changed, and there's also her complete opposite with whom she is friend, a rich man who wants to protect her.

The ending had me on my ass! The second book was supposed to come out in April but it was changed to 2024 and I can't wait.

----

Other than that.. I recently started Caraval by Stephanie Garber. The reason is funny, I saw a book at the bookstore "Once upon a brokenheart" and loved the cover, but then I saw I needed to read the Caraval series first, so here I am. I'm currently on the second book and it's pretty okay. I like the universe of Caraval.

I read "The Invisible Life of Addie Larue" by V.E. Schwab at the beginning of the year and it became one of my favorite pretty fast. It was so nicely written that I can't help but recommend it.

I usually only read horror and thrillers but I haven't been able to find much good ones so I've been trying my hands at other books.

What about you? Tell me everything!

[anaenglishcorner]

Advanced A: A travel experience email

To:

Cleo

Subject:

We’re back!

Hi Cleo,

How are you? Thanks for feeding the cat. We’re home, but

there’s no electricity, so I’m writing this on my phone. We had

a terrible vacation. Scott broke his leg!

First, bad weather delayed our flight. We arrived at the chalet

in the middle of the night, so the next morning we were

really tired. After breakfast, we went to the ski lifts, but they

were closed because it was too windy.

The following day, it wasn’t so windy and we had a great time

on the slopes in the morning. Then, we stopped for some

lunch, but when I wanted to pay I couldn’t find my wallet!

Two days later, the real disaster happened. We were skiing

down a busy slope when Scott fell over and broke his leg. We

had to fly to the local hospital in a helicopter. His leg is in a

cast for the next six weeks.

I’ll call you tomorrow.

Amal

Practice Activity for June 5th: Write a short email to a friend here in the coments by using sequencing words and phrases like the ones in bold in Amal’s email to help readers follow the order of events.

P.S. Leave a coment on a classmate's post.

[oneinterests]

it’s been three months! time for a bookshelf update :D

i got another bookshelf!! and it’s already full lmao

i finally have enough room for my tlt shrine though, and i just wanted to show that off as well :) now the other books! this is going to be so long i’m sorry in advance, i have a lot to say i guess!

from right to left!

The Book of Bill & Journal Three- Alex Hirsch: these two are difficult to rate since they aren’t really stories? i had so much fun reading them though, i love gravity falls so much and finally having journal three after years of wanting it is very nice :)

The book of bill is more of an inside to Bill Ciphers mind, and the codes inside are fun to pick apart! also very much more horror themed then the show, the psychological torment on Stanford was so interesting and horrible to read. Five stars!

The Adventure Zone series- McElroy and Pietsch: i love this series so so much. i listened to the podcast when i was moving across country and it made me cry when i finished it. i was slightly disappointed in the recent comic, certain plot points i was excited to see were dropped. understandable since it’s hard to translate a really long podcast to a comic with a certain amount of time. This story is about a dnd campaign, the characters (Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, and Taako) race to collect artifacts with destructive powers before the world ends! it’s hard to explain fully, i highly suggest listening to the podcast! it’s very comedic but develops into a really great heartwarming story :) Four 1/2 stars :)

All You Need is Kill- Hiroshi Sakurazaka, Takeshita Obata, Ryosuke Takeuchi and Yoshitoshi ABe: my favorite movie of all time (Edge of Tomorrow) is based on this manga! time loops are my favorite and the main character is trapped in one during a war with aliens trying to invade earth. the movie and manga are both completely different stories, but i love them both either way! Five stars :)

Mob Psycho 100- One: i love this anime & manga. honestly i just wanted the first one on my shelf so i could read it or look at the art whenever i wanted. this story is about a middle schooler with psychic powers, and how he slowly learns lessons about how to be a good person. Five stars :)

His Dark Materials series- Phillip Pullman: Explained already :) first two books are the best, the third one wasn’t really my thing but i still love the series either way! Five stars :)

Bluebird- Ciel Pierlot: Explained already! four 1/2 stars :)

Delicious in Dungeon- Ryoko Rui: i love this story so so much, i watched the anime when the episodes were coming out and immediately after finishing all of the episodes they have out so far, i read all of the manga. in one night. This story is about a group of adventurers navigating a dungeon, when their healer Falin gets eaten by a red dragon. They race to save her before it’s too late, but also have to stop on the way to eat new foods and get to know the other people living in the dungeon! Five stars. :)

Salt Grows Heavy- Cassandra Khaw: Explained already! i need to reread this one soon! Five stars :)

This is How You Lose the Time War- Amal El-Mothtar & Max Gladstone: Explained already! i reread this one a little bit ago! i would love a sequel or more stories of Blue and Reds missions against each other. Five stars!

Godkiller & Sunbringer- Hannah Kaner: these books. it took me a while to start godkiller, i was hesitant to really get into it. i accidentally read the back of the second book and “spoiled” myself on the ending of the first book and i was very upset haha. it worked out really well when i actually finished it though! no spoilers, please read these books! i can’t wait for book three! These books are about the Gods, and how after a great war they were outlawed and hunted by Godkillers to stop them from gaining to much power. Kissen is one of the main characters, she’s a godkiller out for revenge on the fire god who killed her whole family. Everything changes though, when she meets Inara, a child whose soul is bound to the god of white lies. Five stars :)

When Among Crows- Veronica Roth: i picked this up on a whim! i thought the art on the cover was beautiful and the synopsis was interesting. the story though. fantastic and i’m so glad i picked it up. This books is inspired by Slavic folklore, Dymitr is trying to find the legendary witch Baba Jaga and meets and befriends various monsters on his way. But he’s hiding a dangerous secret from his companions, and the reason he’s trying to find the witch isn’t as straightforward as his friends think :) Five stars. :)

The Spirit Bares its Teeth- Andrew Joesph White: Explained already! i need to reread this one, i still can’t get over how much i love this book. Five stars. :)

The Employees- Olga Ravn: how do i even explain this one. i don’t even think i can. Thousands of humans and humanoids are. (drafted? forced? raffled?) to explore different planets on a spaceship (named the Six Thousand) sent far away from their home with almost no expectation to return. this book gives statements from some employees about what they’re feeling, and what they think about the strange objects they’ve found on the newest planet they landed on. slowly, distrust and anger spreads across the crew (especially through the humanoids) and revolt is starting. i believe it was page 99 that broke me, i had to put the book down and take a breather. it’s so good and strange, i found it hopeful but so soul crushing at the same time. i read it twice back to back and i still need to reread it again. Five stars.

What Moves the Dead- T. Kingfisher: this book. This Book!!! top three favorites of all time honestly. the gore!!! the plot twist!! the main character being non-binary was a surprise but a very very good one, and the explanations for kans language and background was so so good. Alex Easton is one of my absolute favorite characters at the moment. This story is based on Edgar Allen Poes story “The fall of the house of Usher” (which i haven’t read.. yet haha) it follows Easton as kan travels to visit kas dear friend Rodrick and Madeline, after Maddy tells Easton that she’s dying. The house is falling apart, and the hares aren’t acting properly, crawling on the ground and staring without fear at whoever comes across them. I looked over my shoulder a few times reading this book, it’s perfectly creepy and tense. I do have to say without spoilers, my favorite part was That Hare Scene. you’ll know the one :) Five Stars. Ten stars. i love this one so much.

What Feasts at Night- T. Kingfisher: the sequel to what moves the dead!! follows Easton and friends back to kans country to visit kans old hunting cabin for a little vacation. But the cabin isn’t being taken care of anymore, and the townsfolk are terrified to go anywhere near it. And Easton begins having very strange dreams about a woman, and the old spring house behind the cabin. this one was very good, i do wish there was more gore? but either way it was amazing and i hope there’s a third book with all these characters soon! Five stars! :)

The Murderbot Diaries- Martha Wells: Explained already! still amazing, i need to sit down and reread the whole series again soon!! Five stars. :)

[boxboysandotherwhump]

Chapter 5 Paxton and Amal Series

Hey you guys.

Here is the next chapter of the Paxton and Amal series, in a written format this time.

@albino-whumpee amazing drawing had just inspired me so much that I couldn’t stop myself from starting the Chapter last night and finishing it up today.

So here we are. I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless.

Tag list: @albino-whumpee @orchidscript @finder-of-rings please let me know if I forgot someone

CW: boxboy universe typical stuff, modern slavery, one character fainting and vomiting in the bathroom, mentioned past abuse, character talking negatively about their body, whumpee is forced to become caretaker, one very brief abelist comment coming up in a memory,

  Night had found its way inside the small flat, where old floor boards creaked whisper silent around the curled up, young man on the orange sofa, as the old house settled unable to sleep just like him.

Paxton lay incredibly still, careful not to rustle the blankets and bother his masters, simultaneously overflowing with an all-enveloping warmth. Wrapped in softness he’d never known bevor and basking in the soft glow of the little night light his Master had plugged into one of the living room sockets.   Its golden shimmer illuminated parts of the coffee colored walls, the self-build cat tree next to the door frame with the missing door, which had relieved Paxton tremendously, and fell on the plush striped carpet he would have been grateful to sleep on.

But bevor he could even have dared ask for such a privilege, his master had thrown a heap of blankets and pillows on the couch, a nearly apologetic look on his face.

“They’re not washed and probably smell a bit like me. I hope you don’t mind. If I had known that you- well- I would have definitely washed them. And bought a proper comforter. If those fleece blankets are not enough I can make you a warm water bottle. Just tell me if- ah- forget it.”

Paxton had just looked at him, as he had rushed into the small hallway and vanished into his room, leaving him confused and not daring to sit on the couch. It hadn’t felt like a trick, but his feet had stayed rooted to the spot on the ticklish soft carpet nonetheless.

Paxton still remembers the goosebumps that had spread over his entire body at the sound of boiling water from the kitchen and how he had forced himself to remain still. Spine straight and breathing as even as he could manage. He also remembers the little delighted sound that had escaped him as his master had shoved a warm pillow like thing into his hands, with warming cheeks. A warm water bottle as he had called it, with such genuine bafflement about Paxtons lack of knowledge that he couldn’t help but feel stupid.

That, however, hardly mattered now as he lay there, on a soft couch, soft blankets draped over him, his nose filled with the sweet smell of his new master, of Amal he tried to remember, (heat prickling in his cheeks at the intimacy of using masters name), and curling around the warm water bottle as if he’d die the moment he would let go of it.

Wishing, desperately, for this moment to never end Paxton fought against the ever growing heaviness of his eyes, creeping down his limbs and nestling warm under his ribs.

The sudden scrape of a door lets his eyes fly open.

When had he closed them?

Soft footfalls stumbled through the hallway, approaching the living room from the left.

It must be his master, then.

What could he want in the middle of the night?!

Paxton pulled the blankets up over his nose, cringing at their soft rustle, wide eyes fixed on the doorless doorframe.

The only reason for his old master to seek him out at night had been - A shiver wrecked his body accompanied by memories of merciless hands around his throat and canes breaking skin.  

The scars on Paxtons hands began to itch as he pressed them closer to his trembling body, hiding them between the warm water bottle and his turning stomach. Knowing full well he would give them to his master, letting him do as he pleased. Would give his everything to him, at the first command.

He had to be good for him.

Would be good for him!

No matter how painful or scary it might be.

Ready to slip from the Couch onto the floor and kneel by master’s side, Paxtons eyes grew ever wider as Amal just staggered past the living room entrance, not even sparing him a glance.

If he craned his neck a bit, Paxton could see master fumbling with the bathroom door handle, finally prying it open and slipping inside.

Was it just him or had his master really swayed a little?

Face scrunched up in a frown?

No. It must have been the low shimmer of the night lamp playing tricks on him.

His master just needed to use the bathroom.

He wasn’t swaying. He wasn’t drunk and angry. He wouldn’t stop at Paxtons bed tonight and- No. Everything was fine. He was fine. His new master surely wouldn’t punish him without a reason. Surely. Hopefully.  Please. Please don’t. Please just go to bed again. Please, please, please.

A loud thud, stopped his spiraling panic dead in its tracks.

He lifted his head gingerly from the pillow, straining his ears, trying to listen over his thundering heartbeat.

Barely audible shuffling sounded through the flats silence, followed by a heaving that turned Paxtons stomach in sympathy and fear alike as he bolted upright, feet hitting the carpet running.

He stopped short at the bathroom door, unsure how to proceed until a little whimper followed by more gurgling pushed him to knock. A nervous tap tap tap of scarred knuckles against white wood.

“M- Master? Are, are you alright?”

“Pax…? He- help-“

Cold raced up his arms at his master’s whine and he had the door wrenched open bevor he could think better of it. Wondering faintly, how a master’s voice could even sound so small, quivering miserably.

The sight of his master let his heart drop, heavy like a stone, forcing air out of his lungs in a shuddering exhale.

His master lay doubled over on the bathroom floor, underwear hastily pulled back up over his butt in a futile attempt to preserve at least a sliver of modesty and covered in vomit. Dry-heaving at Paxtons feet, hazy eyes fixed on the bile that had splattered the wall.

“Amal!”

Paxton held a water filled toothbrush cup to his masters trembling lips, faster than any of them could comprehend, cupping Amal’s head gently with his palm. Green unruly hair tickled Paxtons fingertips as Amal shuddered, pale face pressed against his chest.

It was then that Paxton realized, just how small his master was.

“Your legs. They’re… uhm… they’re getting all… all dirty.” Amal rasped out.

“I don’t mind.” a soft smile tugged at Paxtons lips, “I kneeled in my own vomit so often, I’m used to it.”

Amal’s lips twitched, at that, brows crumpling together and Paxton feared he would be sick again but shaking hands pushed him away instead and Amal propped himself up against the toilet seat.  

“Thanks Pax. I-“, he swallowed around his burning throat. “I can handle the rest myself.”

Paxton wanted to protest at that, barely able to bite the words back that threatened to spill out but the last time he dared talk back to his master was forever etched into his face, an aching reminder to never ever do such a thing again.

So he just watched, wide eyed, as Amal pulled himself up, hands gripping the bathroom sink for dear life. Amal’s cheeks turned blotchy red as his legs shock eyes screwed shut bevor he took a tentative step and promptly slipped on the bile covered floor.

Paxton was up in an instant, catching him with a strength that surprised himself and sitting him down on the toilette seat.

“Kasi, stop fussing over me. I’m fine.” Grey irritated eyes stared up at him. Fever red face drawn into a pout.

Pain burst behind Paxtons eyes but he pushed it aside as best he could, focusing on his master instead. On the bashful smile curving master’s lips.

“That was close.”

“Please.” Paxtons voice was barely more than a shaky whisper. “Please would, would you let me help you, Sir?”

That’s what I’m for, after all.  

Amal’s eyes lingered on him and Paxton shrunk under his master gaze, heart nearly bursting out of his chest.

“I- I know you told me to- that you would ha- handle this. I- I’m sorry I misspoke. It won’t happen again I promise I- “

“Hey no. It’s fine.” Amal sat up a bit straighter, face slowly returning to a healthier color. “Thank you for being there.”

Paxtons throat began to close up at Amal’s gentle smile.

“Could you get me some iced coffee from the fridge? It helps kick my circulation back into gear, when my stupid heart decides to act up. Again.” He huffed.

“Hey don’t worry? It’s looking worse than it is. Really.”

Eyeing the soiled floor warily Paxton hurried out of the room.

 Face pressed into his hands and trying to muffle his groan, Amal allowed himself to wallow in his misery, until soft footfalls announced Paxtons return.

His face burned with humiliation as he gulped the coffee down, dizziness fading with every swig. He watched Paxton kneel on the floor, rug in hand and wiping up the mess he’d made.

Peeling himself out of his soiled night shirt, under Paxtons watchful eye, was an exercise in misery. Amal was incredibly glad his underwear had remained clean as he climbed into the shower, refusing – refusing - to take it off.

Grey disbelieving eyes wandered over Amals mastectomy scars, wincing in sympathy as he plucked the bath sponge from Paxtons hand and scrubbed over his chest, cleaning himself hastily.

A sudden self-conscious sigh escaped chapped lips. “What a night, hm?”

Paxton stopped whipping down his own leg with the cleaning rug. “What- uhm what had happened? Sir?”

Barking a little laugh, Amal leaned back against the tile wall, letting its cold seep into heated skin.

“Just my body trying to kill me again. Worthless thing.”

 “You’re really reselling him, Boss?!” “Yeah my Tattoo artist needs someone to look after her sibling. Some worthless Crip, or something.”

 Nails dug in scarred palms.

“Don’t say that.”

The unexpected volume of his own voice made Paxton flinch, letting it drop back into a whisper that didn’t lose any of its urgency. “Please don’t say something like that about yourself. You- you are an amazing person. The greatest master I ever had the privilege of meeting.”

An irritated huff escaped Amal, as he sat there half naked in his shower, washing the last bits of bile out of his hair, where he had landed face down in the testament off his own fragility, barley able to stand Paxtons adoring gaze.

Something stung in his throat, too deep for it to stem solely from vomiting all over the bathroom floor.

He felt the sudden urge to wrap himself in a towel, hide from those earnest eyes, which were trained solely on him.

Instead he turned his head studying a wandering water drop.

“How could you say that? You barley know me.”

For the first time in as long as he could remember Paxton wasn’t scared as he spoke:

“Because I know kindness when I see it.”

.

[imagines--galore]

||A Comforting Embrace||

Summary: Amal feels a little down. Luckily a friend drops by to give her some comfort.

Pairing: Leonardo x AmalOC (TMNT)

Rating || Genres || Warnings: No Rating. Hurt/Comfort. Fluff. A couple curse words.

A/N: I just had this little plot bunny in my head and just started typing. :P

It was really pouring that day. It had started out a sunny day, full of sunshine and bird singing. By the afternoon though, the sky was overcast, so much so that anyone who didn’t look at a watch would claim it was night. Or at least early evening. There were reports of a hail storm in some areas, but otherwise just rain.

It was strange how the weather matched her overall mood that day. Normally it was the opposite. She would be feeling glum and the sun would be shining at it’s fullest. She would close her curtains and cocoon herself in the darkness, before turning on a song that suited her melancholy mood. Loud enough that it would drown her more morbid thoughts, but not loud enough to disturb the neighbors.

That day though, Amal had all her curtains parted, the lights were out and her balcony door was open. It allowed the chilly air to cool her skin, and let in the scent of rain, which she had always found comforting.

And she needed all the comfort she could get.

Dressed in one of her father’s old baggy hoodies and a pair of loose shorts Amal sat cross legged on the floor, facing the open balcony and just staring listlessly at the pouring rain outside. The song she had chosen acted as white noise as she tried her best to distract herself from the conversation she had with her mother a few hours earlier.

Or rather argument.

As always her mother was not happy with her career choice. Nor was she happy with the fact that her daughter had moved so far away. It went against the views and beliefs her mother had grown up with. Family should stay together. And didn’t she love her family? Didn’t she respect her parents? What would her elders think?

“Fuck them.” She growled, rising from her spot and moving to where her cell phone had been charging.

She loved her family. There was no doubt about it. But it was all getting to be too much for her. She was just another cousin that blended into their extended family. Amal wanted to explore herself on her own terms. With no one dictating her every move and questioning every step she took. It was the reason she had moved to New York. To get a little bit of freedom.

“Just because I didn’t want to become a doctor I’m suddenly labeled the failure of the family.” The brown skinned girl spoke loudly to the empty apartment. “So what? I’m not supposed to have a say in what I want to do with my life?” She continued, angrily flicking through her playlist to look for another song to play.

“I take it the phone call went great.”

Amal shrieked, nearly dropping her phone as she twirled on her feet to face her intruder. The instant her eyes connected with the six foot something turtle standing just at the entrance of her balcony she relaxed, raising a hand to where her heart was beating wildly in her chest as she heaved a sight of relief. “Geez Leo! You know how to take a girl’s breath away don’t you?” She laughed softly, eyes dropping to her phone as she finally selected a song and placed her phone back so it would continue charging.

Seeing him about to step into her apartment she gave a small cry of protest. “No! Stay! Let me get you a towel.” She called, racing over to the small alcove above her washing machine where she kept her clean towels.

“I’m not that wet.” The blue clad ninja protested, as he wiped his head with his three fingered hand. Amal gave him a look as she threw the towel at his face. He expertly caught it, of course. Damn ninja.

“You look like you took a dip in the Hudson.” She quipped back, moving to resume her previous position on the floor. “And move out of the way, your big shell is obstructing my view.” Leo took his sweet time complying to her request, which prompted her to huff in annoyance and throw one of her many floor pillows at him. There was a long silence as the Turtle dried himself off as best as he could. Amal took up watching the rain pour outside once more, letting her thoughts wander, barely noticing as her friend dropped down to sit beside her mirroring her cross legged position.

For a few long minutes the only sound was that of the song playing softly in the background and the rain outside.

“What were you doing out in this rain anyway?”

“I was on patrol of the sewers. They started to flood with rain and your place was the closest.”

A hum followed his words as she pulled her legs towards her body, resting her chin between her knees. He reached behind him to unstrap his katanas and set them aside.

“So your mother? What did she say this time?” He inquired, turning to look at her scowl and bury her head further between her knees.

“The usual. She threw in a couple of extra ‘bring shame on the family‘ for laughs this time around. Last time I had a healthy helping of ‘I’m disappointed‘ so I figured it would be different this time.” Silence followed her words as her body tensed even more and angry tears sprang to her eyes. She blinked angrily at the stinging sensation.

“I mean I know she says what she does because shes worried about me but it still hurts to hear those words.” Her voice was small, which was how she felt in that moment. Her heart clenched in her chest at her stomach felt tight. An unpleasant sensation ran up her legs, making her shudder.

But all those feelings were there for a few seconds.

As soon as she felt the warmth of a hand, albeit a three fingered hand, being placed on her shoulder it was as if all the bad feelings disappeared in a puff of smoke. There was still sadness lingering in her heart and in her eyes but she felt calm.

Leo made sure to watch her for her reaction. When it came to being physical he was the worst out of his brothers. More out of respect then anything else. Mikey thrived on hugs, high fives, tackles. Raph preferred fist bumps and shoulder bumps. Even Donnie would give a good old pat on the back, and the occasional spontaneous hug. Him? He always kept his distance. And given how Amal sometimes made him feel with just a smile or a look, he was extra distant with her.

But she needed a little comfort right now. And he could push aside the feeling of how soft she felt against his rough skin if it meant making her feel better.

Slowly his hand slid to the other side, his arm enveloping both her shoulders in a comforting yet loose embrace. “Well, if its any consolation, we’re all really proud of how far you’ve come.” And by we, he meant April, Casey, his brothers and Master Splinter. As well as himself.

She gave a little sniffle, her body shifting to lean against him. A wave of ease washed over her as she was surrounded by the comforting aura that seemed to follow Leo around. “Even you?” There was a slight joking lilt to her tone as she spoke the two words. Leo chuckled, turning his head to look down at her, though she kept staring straight ahead. He didn’t understand the sudden rush of emotions he felt every time he saw her. But they were never unpleasant. They were, dare he say, almost addicting. He would meditate on them later. For now though, he lowered his head so that his lips barely brushed against her hair.

“Especially me.”

Heat rushed to her cheeks as he whispered the words against the top of her head, her hair tickling his lips as he did. A smile, unbidden and from her heart, pulled at her lips as she allowed her eyes to slid close, just wanting to feel him sitting next to her with his arm around her.

She would think of her sudden shyness and the urge to pull him closer later. For now she was content with a simple embrace of comfort.

[vinylroadsjunction]

Do other humans join in on the fight against gems as the story progresses just like how B2J gets more fans in NSR canon? Because there are so many NPCs in NSR that have remarkable skills and they would want to save Vinyl City too!

Yes, they do. Gigi, Zam and Auntie are the first to join in the fray, but they also have other friends ready to back them up.

To be honest tho... I don't really know which NPC is more fitting as a Gem or as a Human. Because they work very well on either sides.

Long post down below:

Barbara would be human. She's an old friend of Auntie from the old days (used to be fans of rock in the youth. The Gals of Vinyl City). She often visits the restaurant when her journalist work keeps her up late at night. Being a Journalist in Vinyl City makes you tough! She knows some self-defense and has more than enough skill and wits to back herself up in a scuffle.

Azma is also human. He's usually tired and lazy cop that hangs around Auntie's restaurant since he has the night shift. Despite his lazy and sleepy demeanor, he's actually a man of morals and can gather some courage when his city's threatened. I don't think he owns any weapon beside a taser.

Joey is likely human and he'd join the fight, but he's likely to complain all the time and critic everything. Annoys enemies. Knows how to toss a Vinyl disk like a shuriken.

Mia works both well as a gem as well as a human. A bit of a coward in the face of conflict and easily frightenedm but has a hidden screaming warrior vein that comes out only when she's at her wits end. She's terryfing in this form.

Captain Torpedo is not gonna have some extraterrestrial freebooters attack his crew and his city. Likely the one who can main an actual weapon, like an harpoon or a pirate sword, and has the skills to use it efficiently. Expect sea jargon to be thrown around a-la-Barbossa.

Human Tourists Jan and Daphne didn't plan on getting caught in an alien war when they chose Vinyl City as a tour spot, but sure that makes for a great story to tell back home. Camera flashes make for good blinding distractions.

Human!Dash isn't that different from a Gem!Dash. Fights with his window cleaning tools and can use platforms to gain the upper ground or escape. Not very strong, but quite nimble.

Amal the Unicorn guy may dress like a horse but isn't horsing around when it comes to defend Vinyl City and friends. He still get in the unicorn role. He has powerful rear kicks and that horn on the nose is actually sharp.

Retdex's dancing skills are a bit rusty (read: very rusty), but this grandpa can keep up. He can't capoeira like Gigi does but he has some moves to show, at least enough to distract and avoid attacks.

Yruk is... something. On one side, he might have the street smarts that it takes to evade enemies and can dish out some street-style fighting hooks, but on the other hand he's also a way too enthusiastic teenager that, if he just rush up to punch the closest Jasper, it earns him a broken hand first and a knockout punch second. Maybe his parachute does help as a trap.

Kayane's weaponizes boyband merch (since 1010th troop eventually become a boyband after their heel-face turn, I HC she's got plenty of their merch). Shirts? Impromptu restrains. Funko Pops? Throwing ammo. Fan bracelets? Ties them together and makes a lazo out of it.

Celine is definately human. Not a fighter at all, too classy for it, but likely a skilled dancer/model with flamboyant clothes. Dazzling others into confusion enough to slip away or skipping around and letting running gems just smash into each each other while she escapes.

Human Zed hates noise in general. Probably need some noise cancelers before jumping in the fray. When he wants quiet. He demands quiet!

Timmy... well... he really hoped he would never have to deal with this again. Oh, well, no can do. But at least he's got Robot by his side.

Mind thou... as humans, they can only keep up for so long and gems don't wear out easy. The people of Vinyl City can put up as much of a fight as they can, but in the end they're still just humans, and they're facing a bigger, stronger and numerous opponent with superpowers and also unkillable.

It woudldn't end well if it was just them alone.

[generalblizzarddreamer]

Book recommendations based on your Hogwarts house!

A/N I’ve been watching a lot of these videos on youtube and it inspired me to make this post! I hope you enjoy. I love Harry Potter and the fandom but just to be clear I don’t support J.K Rowling and her trans/homophobic statements and the fact that she is ruining the series by adding more to it.

Ravenclaw house 💙🦅(my house)

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

This book just screams Ravenclaw to me. The cults, the science, the research, the history, the small facts on the Smithsonian... literally everyting except the characters themselves and the plot is real. There is so much knowledge to be gained from reading this book and the plot is thick and exciting. 

Strange the Dreamer duology by Laini Taylor

Another book that screams Ravenclaw... Strange the Dreamer and the world and the culture is so thick and is presented in lyrical and intelligent word play that any self respecting Ravenclaw should definitely give this book a try. You will not be disappointed! I know I wasn’t! The main character (Lazlo Strange) is also a Ravenclaw so that is always a perk. 

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

This book is like a well thought out chess game. The writing styles that the two authors develop is addicting and the letters going back and forth between the two character is so intriguing. There so much strategy and wit in this book that I had to put it on this list for Ravenclaw. 

Wendy Darling by Colleen Oarkes

I love this book so much. I think it’s a book that is worthy of Ravenclaw just because of it’s creativity and the twist that Colleen Oakes put on Peter Pan. I think sometimes we forget that it isn’t just wit, wisdom, and knowledge (although this book is definitely witty and has some wise messages) that Ravenclaws value but also creativity. 

Bonus book: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. This book is the most Ravenclaw book ever. Need I say more. 

Gryffindor ❤️🦁

Lore by Alexandria Bracken

The plot is tense, most of the characers are Gryffindors, book praises bravery, cowardice is something that is punishable ad frowed upon... the list goes on and on. Lore is filled with high stakes and brave acts that Gryffindor’s will admire.  

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

It was so hard to put one of my all time favorite books in here just solely because it’s not my house (that was not a dig on Gryffindor please don’t attack me). Bree is such a Gryffindor and does so many of the things I can see the golden trio doing. High stakes, daring acts, Gryffindor cast, a Griffindor x Griffindor relationship, perfect for any Gryffindor looking for a book full of twist and turns and bravery. 

The City we Became by N.K Jemisin

This one gives me Gryffindor vibes for the same reasons the other ones do (thrills, daring acts, Gryffindor characters etc). Except for one thing. This book could have easily been placed into Slytherin since the main character uses his cunning to change his identity according to what city he is in at the moment. But I put this book here because I think it shows how Gryffindor and Slytherin are two sides of the same coin. 

Raft by S.A Bodeen

This one was a bit of stretch. Raft is a bit of a unpopular book, I’ve seen people say it was just meh, or bad. I actually really enjoyed this book though and I think how the main character (Robie) deals with being stranded and jumping out of a plane to survive gives me Gryffindor feels. I also think Gryffindors are the kind of people to enjoy a good survival book. 

Bonus: The Hunger Games

Slytherin 💚🐍

Vicious duology by V.E Schwab

Most (if not all) of the characters in this book are so cunning and ambitious and determined to meet their goal that makes it such a Slytherin book. Vicious also makes you question morality and the characters motivations that Slytherins will appreciate this book even more because of it. Bonus: V.E Schwab is a Slytherin. Just saying. 

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

I don’t know what about this book makes me think “Slytherin” but it does. Maybe it’s because it’s about using magic in a cunning way to win, the characters, the main characters mentors (although I think they are both definitely Slytherins). But this book screams Slytherin to me, just for unknown reasons. 

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

I don’t really think I need to explain why this is a Slytherin read so I’ll just put one character name: Kaz Brekker. Kaz is such a Slytherin. He uses cuning and resourcefulless to pull off crazy heists, blackmail people and get what he wants to survive a gang ridden city. And he he put up a calm face even though he may be freaking out on the inside through everything, never revealing his full plan. I feel like these are all such Slytherin things to do, not gonna lie. 

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Oh boy, I could right pages and pages on why I think this is a Slytherin book but I’ll stick to a mini paragraph. The “Ash Princess”, Theodosia, uses cunning and strategy to take back her kingdom. She manipulates to get close to certain people to achieve her goal. And even though she doesn’t necessarily think that these are good things to do, she recognizes taking her kingdom back and acheiving her goal is more important.  Sound like a certain house? 

Bonus: Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire (So many Slytherin vibes in this book)

Hufflepuff 💛🌿🦡 (I had to put a plant just as a nod to the Hufflepuff common room)

Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares by Rachel 

This. Book. Is. So. Cute. I didn’t put this in here just because it was cute though, after reading it, it gave me so many feels and Hufflepuff vibes that I had to put it here. 

Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay 

Just going to say this: Hufflepuffs are great finders. This whole book centers around a girl finding her brother. She shows loyalty because she travels around the world to find him. Does that seem extrememly Hufflepuff-y or is it just me? 

Guardians of Childhood series by William Joyce

Hear me out, every Hufflepuff has an inner child as well as a badass inside them, they aren’t all soft (Tonks is proof). The guardians are protectors of children (as the title indicates) but they also kick butt. I think Hufflepuff’s of all ages will enjoy it, and yeah it’s a kids book but to quote C.S Lewis; “someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again”. 

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Ok though, but Pride and Prejudice could fit everywhere on here. Lizzie is a Raveclaw, Mr. Darcy is a Hufflepuff, Mrs. Bennet is a Gryffindor (she gives me Mrs. Weaseley vibes. Especially in the 2005 movie), etc. But I’m putting it here because it’s such a Hufflepuff thing to ship Mr. Darcy and Lizzie (seriously though every Hufflepuff I’ve met say that this is their OTP). Just read it and watch as it become your OTP too.  

Bonus: Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson

I do not own any of the pictures used. 

[notbecauseofvictories]

Hi Sarah! My friend and I are starting a bookclub (as much as you can with two people who aren't pressed for deadlines) and I was wondering if you have any recommendations? (That is if you have time to rec anything!) We're starting off with Deathless and have Fitzgerald next in line somewhere but I def want to try to expand the genres we read and tbh from years of following you, I trust your judgement

I don’t...like giving recommendations? At least not directly, it seems like too much opportunity for getting it wrong. Everybody has their own tastes, after all, and even the best of friends don’t necessarily vibe with what you vibe with. (I’ve experienced this with multiple friends, so I know what I’m talking about.) Truly, one of the reasons that my whole “I’m going to get back into reading for pleasure!” push has been so successful is that I only bother with books that interest me, and stop reading when they fail to catch my attention.

But I’ve now read at least 60 books in 2020, which is approximately 60 more than I’ve read in the years prior, so I’m happy to share that. Below is my list of recent reads, beginning to end, along with a very short review---I keep this list in the notes app on my phone, so they have to be. Where I’ve talked about a book in a post, I’ve tried to link to it. 

Peruse, and if something catches your interest I hope you enjoy!

2020 Reading List

Crazy Rich Asians series, Kevin Kwan (here)

Blackwater, Michael McDowell (here; pulpy horror and southern gothic in one novel; come for the monster but stay for the family drama.)

Fire and Hemlock, Diane Wynne Jones (here; weird and thoughtful, in ways I’m still thinking about)

The Secret History, Donna Tartt

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn (here; loved it! I can see why people glommed onto it)

Swamplandia!, Karen Russell (unfinished, I could not get past the first paragraph; just....no.)

Rules of Scoundrels series, Sarah MacLean (an enjoyable romp through classic romancelandia, though if you read through 4 back to back you realize that MacLean really only writes 1 type of relationship and 1 type of sexual encounter, though I do appreciate insisting that the hero go down first.)

The Bear and the Nightingale, Katherine Arden (here)

Dread Nation, Justine Ireland (great, put it with Stealing Thunder in terms of fun YA fantasy that makes everything less white and Eurocentric)

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson (VERY good. haunting good.)

Tell My Horse, Zora Neale Hurston (I read an interesting critique of Hurston that said she stripped a lot of the radicalism out of black stories - these might be an example, or counterexample. I haven't decided yet.)

The Rose MacGregor Drinking and Admiration Society, T. Kingfisher (fun!)

St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves, Karen Russell (some of these short stories are wonderful; however, Swamplandia's inspiration is still unreadable, which is wild.)

17776, Jon Bois (made me cry. deeply human. A triumph of internet storytelling)

The Girl with All the Gifts, M. R. Carey (deeply enjoyable. the ending is a bittersweet kick in the teeth, and I really enjoyed the adults' relationships)

The Door in the Hedge and Other Stories, Robin McKinley (enjoyable, but never really resolved into anything.)

The Hero and the Crown, Robin McKinley (fun, but feels very early fantasy - or maybe I've just read too many of the subsequent knock-offs.)

Mrs. Caliban, Rachel Ingalls (weird little pulp novel.)

All Systems Red, Martha Wells (enjoyable, but I don't get the hype. won't be looking into the series unless opportunity arises.)

A People's History of Chicago, Kevin Coval (made me cry. bought a copy. am still thinking about it.)

The Sol Majestic, Ferrett Steinmetz (charming, a sf novel mostly about fine dining)

House in the Cerulean Sea, TJ Klune (immensely enjoyable read, for all it feels like fic with the serial numbers filed off)

The Au Pair, Emma Rous (not bad, but felt like it wanted to be more than it is)

The Night Tiger, Yangsze Choo (preferred this to Ghost Bride; I enjoy a well-crafted mystery novel and this delivered)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula Le Guin (unfinished, I cannot fucking get into Le Guin and should really stop trying)

The Ghost Bride, Yangsze Choo (enjoyable, but not nearly as fun as Ghost Bride - the romance felt very disjointed, and could have used another round of editing)

Temptation's Darling, Johanna Lindsey (pure, unadulterated id in a romance novel, complete with a girl dressing as a boy to avoid detection)

Social Creature, Tara Isabella Burton (a strange, dark psychological portrait; really made a mark even though I can't quite put my finger on why)

The Girl on the Train, Paula Hawkins (slow at first, but picks up halfway through and builds nicely; a whiff of Gone Girl with the staggered perspectives building together)

Stealing Thunder, Alina Boyden (fun Tortall vibes, but set in Mughal India)

The Traitor Baru Cormorant; The Monster Baru Commorant, The Tyrant Baru Cormorant, Seth Dickinson (LOVE this, so much misery, terrible, ecstatic; more here)

This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar, Max Gladstone (epistolary love poetry, vicious and lovely; more here)

The Elementals, Michael McDowell

Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir (didn't like this one as much as I thought I would; narrator's contemporary voice was so jarring against the stylized world and action sequences read like the novelization for a video game; more here)

Finna, Nino Cipri (a fun little romp through interdimensional Ikea, if on the lighter side)

Magic for Liars, Sarah Gailey (engrossing, even if I could see every plot twist coming from a mile away)

Desdemona and the Deep, C. S. E. Cooney (enjoyed the weirdness & the fae bits, but very light fare)

A Blink of the Screen, Terry Pratchett (admittedly just read this for the Discworld bits)

A Memory Called Empire, Arkady Martine (not as good about politics and colonialism as Baru, but still a powerful book about The Empire, and EXTREMELY cool worldbuilding that manages to be wholly alien and yet never heavily expositional)

Blackfish City, Sam J. Miller (see my post)

Last Werewolf, Glen Duncan (didn't finish, got to to first explicit sex scene and couldn't get any further)

Prosper's Demon, KJ Parker (didn't work for me...felt like a short story that wanted to be fleshed out into a novel)

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

His Majesty's Dragon, Naomi Novik (extremely fun, even for a reader who doesn't much like Napoleonic stories)

Three Parts Dead, Max Gladstone (fun romp - hard to believe that this is the same author as Time War though you can see glimmers of it in the imagery here)

A Scot in the Dark, Sarah MacLean (palette cleanser, she does write a good romance novel even it's basically the same romance novel over and over)

The Resurrectionist, E. B. Hudspeth (borrowed it on a whim one night, kept feeling like there was something I was supposed to /get/ about it, but never did - though I liked the Mutter Museum parallels)

Stories of Your Life and Others, Ted Chiang (he's a better ideas guy than a writer, though Hell Is The Absence of God made my skin prickle all over)

Gods of Jade and Shadow, Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fun, very much a throwback to my YA days of fairytale retellings, though obviously less European)

Four Roads Cross, Max Gladstone (it turns out I was a LOT more fond of Tara than I initially realized - plus this book had a good Pratchett-esque pacing and reliance on characterization)

Get in Trouble, Kelly Link (reading this after the Chiang was instructive - Link is such a better storyteller, better at prioritizing the human over the concept)

Gods Behaving Badly, Marie Phillips

Soulless; Changeless; Blameless, all by Gail Carriger (this series is basically a romance novel with some fantasy plot thrown in for fun; extremely charming and funny)

Black Leopard, Red Wolf, Marlon James (got about 1/3 of the way through and had to wave the white flag; will try again because I like the plot and the worldbuilding; the tone is just so hard to get through)

Pew, Catherine Lacey (a strange book, I'm still thinking about it; a good Southern book, though)

Nuremberg Diary, GM Gilbert (it took me two months to finish, and was worth it)

River of Teeth, Sarah Gailey (I wanted to like this one a lot more than I actually did; would have made a terrific movie but ultimately was not a great novel. Preferred Magic for Liars.)

Mexican Gothic, Silvia Moreno-Garcia (extremely fun, though more trippy than Gods and the plot didn't work as well for me - though it was very original)

The New Voices of Fantasy, Peter S. Beagle (collected anthology, with some favorites I've read before Ursula Vernon's "Jackalope Wives", "Hungry Daughters of Starving Mothers" "The Husband Stitch"; others that were great new finds "Selkie Stories are for Losers" from Sofia Satamar and "A Kiss With Teeth" from Max Gladstone and "The Philosophers" from Adam Ehrlich Sachs)

[cecilspeaks]

176 - The Autumn Specter

Lips are the toes of the face. Welcome to Night Vale.

[spooky theme song]

It’s Halloween again, Night Vale, my favorite day of the year. As a kid, my mother used to dress my sister Abby and I in homemade costumes and take us door to door, vaguely threatening our neighbors until they gave us candy. When I was a teenager, I got a little old for trick-or-treating, so I started going to haunted houses with my friends. A lot of those haunted houses were kind of predictable with all their chain saw killers and Victorian ghost children singing nursery rhymes, who would follow you home and sing by your bed for months afterwards, but they always got to me. I loved the emotional rush of being scared. I still do. Of course, I don’t go out much to haunted houses, but I still love good old fashioned scary stories. I thought today would be a great day to share some of my favorites with you. I had my new intern, James, put together a few spooky tales that are perfect for putting you into Halloween mood.

But first, let’s have a look at the Community Calendar. This Saturday night at the New Old Night Vale Opera House, is the annual costume gala. This event is the Opera House’s largest fundraiser and one of the most prestigious costume contests in the region. A panel of judges will be on hand to determine the best costume at the ball. Last year’s winners were Joel Eisenberg and his partner Danny Jimenez, who dressed in a tandem outfit of a stegosaurus. I was there, listeners, and it was impressive! The creature was so realistic-looking. The craftsmanship of the costume was top notch, but listen, I have to confess I’m always more into high concept creativity rather than realistic details when it comes to costumes. Like I remember the 2015 gala, when Amal Shamun came dressed up as the concept of ennui. She made herself 12 feet tall, dressed in a taupe long coat, and created a constant drizzling rain inside the ball room. Anyone who looked at her got super sad and wanted a hug. But Joel and Danny’s stegosaurus was fine.

Sunday afternoon is the fall craft sale in Old Town Night Vale. An inscrutable maze of stalls showcasing the finest products from our town’s artisans. There will be cultural events for children, like finger painting classes, puppet shows, and a visit from the Autumn Specter. The Autumn Specter returns. It comes to collect its crops, with its great and sharp sickle. [creepily] It will harvest every ripe soul in Night Vale, the Autumn Specter is hungryyyy! It is Octoberr and it is timme to feeeeeee-duh.

Hey James, this Community Calendar doesn’t seem right, it’s just a bunch of stuff about the Autumn Specter. Also this font size, what-what is this 32 point? That’s just much too large. And it’s printed in red ink and that is a waste of our color toner, James. Eww, eww! This red ink is still really damp. OK, plus there’s nothing about start and end times of the craft fair, or anything about the food trucks, like if the Autumn Specter is hungry, surely it wants some falafel or Korean barbeque or tacos. James, could you just redo this story? James? James? [clears throat] Well, listeners, I don’t know where James went. Um, I can hear him breathing, but I don’t see him anywhere. Yeah, it’s fine, let’s just get onto our first spooky story.

[static, old-fashioned music] One quiet moonless night, not long ago and not so far away, a teenage girl sat in a house that was not her own. It was the home of Tony and Sheila McDowell. The girl was their babysitter, and she had just put the two young McDowell children down to sleep. The girl watched TV alone in the dark living room, only the bluish flicker of a scary movie illuminating her face. The phone rang abrupt and loud, startling her. She raised the receiver to her ear. “Hello?” she said with a slight quiver. “Have you checked on the children?” came a raspy voice. The babysitter ran quickly upstairs, opening the door of the kids’ bedroom. She flicked on the light, and there they were, fast asleep. She went back to her movie, but the phone rang again. “Haave youuu checked on the childrennn?” came the same voice, only more sinister. The babysitter again hurried upstairs, opened the door, turned on the light, and saw the children still asleep. The caller called again and again and again. “Have you checked on the children?” The babysitter, so scared, barely able to move, hung up the phone before the voice could finish its repeated query. When the phone rang once again, she answered and shouted: “Stop calling me!” But this time, it was a different voice. The person on this occasion said: “Ma’am, this is the police. We’ve traced the call. The call is coming from inside the house. Get out, get out!” The babysitter panicked and started to run, but then she remembered: she never called the police! How would they know to even trace the call? So she crept fearfully upstairs to the children’s room, and the phone was ringing again, the clamoring bell igniting her fright. And she cracked open the door and she saw- She saw the young McDowell boy and his little brother hunched over a phone and giggling! They were pranking her, and she felt relieved but embarrassed. And she told them to stop fooling around and go to sleep. And they all shared a good laugh.

Let’s have a look now at traffic. [papers rustling] Um.. OK, well I don’t seem to have a traffic report from intern James. Also James isn’t here right now, because I sent him out to go pick up lunch a few m- Oh, hey James, James, James, James – wait, why are you standing in the control booth? You were supposed to go get lunch and also I’ve asked you a couple of times not to wear that burlap bag over your head. I mean yes it looks great, with the Jack o’ Lantern face drawn onto it, I mean the mouth is a bit lopsided and the eyes are a tad uneven,  you know kinda flat and emotionless, but all in all it’s a cool look, but it’s decidedly not allowed in Station Management’s dress code. Oh, you’re holing a knife, too! So did you get- did you already get that lunch then? Well if that- if that’s the case, you don’t need to cut my sandwich in half, I’ll-I’ll take it whole. And also I need that traffic report, thanks. James? What are you waiting for, the Autumn Specter to do it for you? [chuckles] Hop to it! James?

[clears throat] Well, while James is working on that, let’s get back to my favorite spooky Halloween stories. This one isn’t a story so much as a fun Halloween game. The legend of Bloody Mary.

According to the lore, if you turn off all the lights, and stare into a mirror, repeating “Bloody Mary” three times in a row, she will appear and tear your face off! I’ve never tried this because I don’t own any mirrors, but my husband Carlos conducted this very experiment in his science lab. He said he darkened the room and repeated the name and nothing happened for a long time. But then a figure of a woman appeared, silvery gray and shimmering, and she approached Carlos slowly, her hollow white eyes never blinking. She brought her face only inches from Carlos and said: “Are you for real?” And Carlos said yes, he was indeed – real. And Bloody Mary said: “OK because this time of year, I just get a bunch of giggling, screaming teenagers, and I’m really tired of ripping off their faces for no pay whatsoever!” And Carlos gave her some resources for starting a union and she thanked him and she offered to tear his face off in exchange for the consulting, but Carlos said no, he liked his face, and wisher her luck. Night Vale, pay your malevolent spirits! They’re overworked especially around Halloween. And a 20 per cent gratuity for poltergeists, phantasms, revenants, and ghosts is standard.

And now for t- what the, oh you- [papers rustling] Wait, OK. You know, I thought intern James had handed the traffic report to me, but this is just a piece of parchment with a 9-pointed star seemingly drawn by a finger dripped in blood. And then there are a series of ancient runes scrawled around the outer edges. Now I took runic in college. I mean, most of my friends took Spanish as their language, but I thought living here in the American Southwest, it would be more useful to study ancient Scandinavian and Germanic alphabets. And from what I can make out, these are a message about the return of the Autumn Specter. Ugh, alright. OK. I love that intern James loooves Halloween and whatever this the Autumn Specter is. In fact, James is still in the break room right now construction a sacred totem out of ash tree branches and twine. He’s been muttering to himself all day in a language that I don’t recognize, and the only words I can understand are “Autumn Specter”. But I still have neither my traffic report nor my lunch! Wait, do you think James is… Naah, put it out or you mind, Cecil.

Let’s tell another spooky Halloween story. There once was a beautiful young woman who wore a green ribbon around her neck. She won the affection of a handsome young man. They fell in love and one day the boy asked the girl why she always wore a green ribbon around her neck. She would not tell him. One day the man and the woman were to become husband and wife. In her white bridal dress, the woman still wore her green ribbon. The man asked her on their wedding night if he could untie the green ribbon, but even on the  most intimate of evenings, she said no, and he respected her answer. But he longed to know what she was hiding behind the ribbon. Through the years, the man asked the wife again about the ribbon, but she never removed it, nor answered his questions about it. She only warned him that he would not like what he saw if she were to remove it. He asked less and less, but his curiosity grew and grew. And they became old, very old, and they knew their time left was short. The man asked one more time: “My dearest wife, love of my life, tell me that I may remove the green ribbon from around your neck.” And the old woman said: “My adoring groom, here in our room after all these many years, yes you may. But I caution you, as I have many times before, that you shall not like what your eyes behold.” The man hesitated, but finally reached his weakened, wrinkled fingers to the green bow along her nape. And he tentatively pulled the ribbon, and suddenly it unfurled, falling from her neck, and the man gasped. Upon her neck was a series of ornate letters spelling out “GOTH LIFE”. The woman said: “I got this tattoo in high school but kind of outgrew it and it’s super embarrassing.” And the man replied: “It is for sure weird, but also pretty cool. I like it.” And she never wore the green ribbon again.

You know, listeners, I’d love to bring you that traffic report, but right now, um, I’m facing something much more urgent and more dire. My studio door has opened on its own, and as I turned around, I could see down the long faintly lit corridor of our offices. And at the end of the hallway stands a figure, and he wears a Jack o’ Lantern mask, his head crooked to one side like a dog asking a question or like a hanged man, or both. And it is intern James, and he holds a long knife and he walks, he walks slowly toward me. And he is speaking at first in a mutter, but now louder, a strange shout in an obscure tongue like a magician casting a wicked spell, and he is moving much faster toward me, like a limping run, and his blade is raised high, and James is not an intern, Night Vale, bu the Autumn Specter itself come to reap my soul!

But before he does that, Let me take you to the weather.

[“Welterweight” by Nels Andrews. https://nelsandrews.bandcamp.com/]

So. During the weather, I went to human resources and requested a file on intern James. Oh I’m fine, by the way, and James is not the Autumn Specter, but I’ll get to that. So I found a copy of James’ résumé and cover letter for the position of radio station intern. His application was originally submitted in 1845. “That’s almost two centuries ago!” I exclaimed, but according to HR, they’re pretty backlogged on the intern apps. “What are you gonna do, we get to them when we get to them,” they said from the bottom of their abandoned well. Paperclipped to James’ application was a wrinkled and yellowed news clipping from the Night Vale °Daily Journal, and the article says that James died on Halloween night in 1849 when he was hit by a train. I then went to the hall of public records and found that our radio station was built in 1950, atop the very train tracks where James met hi send. James’ soul has been wandering the halls and offices of our radio station ever since. For all James ever wanted was to be a radio intern. To serve the listening community, to lift high the voice of journalistic truth. And it was his death that led to the shutdown of those train tracks and the eventual construction of a new station home, and the building we still use now. So I was wrong about James. He was an intern, after all, and not a malevolent Halloween spirit.

But I was right that the Autumn Specter had come for me. For when I turned to see James running down the hill, I did not notice the Autumn Specter behind me, with its bony hands and scarecrow mouth, and I did not notice its soul reaping sickle, which it had raised high above its oversized head and stick thin body. And James had given his life for the building of our radio station, and in death, gave his soul for the very same cause. And James threw himself upon the Autumn Specter, and he tried to stab the Specter’s neck and chest, but it-it- it did nothing. And the Spectre pushed James aside and then turned its black coal eyes upon me. And it raised its curved blade once again and swung! I tried to duck, but was too slow. And just as the sickle’s edge reached my face, James dove in front of it and vanished in a burst of white flame, as he was struck. And the room was empty and the Autumn Specter was gone too.

To the family and friends of intern James, he was… an OK intern. Not always on  top of his writing deadlines, but he literally sacrificed his soul for our radio station. I can’t bring you a traffic report today, but I will live to bring you one tomorrow.  If we find a new intern. And HR tells me that we have hundreds of candidates, although  most of them are not yet aware that they are candidates.

Stay tuned next for our new cooking competition show, “Flay Bobby Flay”.

And as always, Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: The road to hell is paved with cobblestone. It’s super bumpy, not at all comfortable, and really bad for your car’s suspension.

[tabloidtoc]

Us, January 11

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Diets That Work -- Julianne Hough

Page 2: Red Carpet -- Stars flex their right to bare leg in high-slit dresses -- Dua Lipa, Cynthia Erivo, Kristin Cavallari, Bebe Rexha, Sydney Sweeney 

Page 3: Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez, Ariel Winter, Hailey Bieber, Shay Mitchell 

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Olivia Wilde vs. Natalie Portman, Ashley Greene vs. Rachel Zoe 

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Barack Obama joking about quarantining with his daughter Malia’s boyfriend, Pink revealing she broke her ankle and had a staph infection in addition to testing positive for coronavirus, Amal Clooney joking to husband George Clooney about the time and effort she put into her new 1000-page legal book, Miley Cyrus on feeling like she really made it after Cher slammed her 2013 VMAs performance, Anderson Cooper on being a dad to 8-month-old Wyatt 

Page 8: Contents 

Page 10: Hot Pics -- Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani stopped at the music studio together in Pasadena 

Page 11: Tiger Woods and son Charlie teamed up for the PNC Championship in Orlando, Vivica A. Fox during a tropical getaway in Tulum in Mexico, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner took a stroll around the village and did some shopping in Mammoth Lakes, California 

Page 12: Paris Hilton and Carter Reum in Sherman Oaks, Niecy Nash showed support for Regina King at a drive-in event for her film One Night in Miami in Malibu, Candice Swanepoel in a white bathing suit in Miami 

Page 13: Duchess Camilla held a virtual royal engagement in London, Dancing With the Stars couple Sasha Farber and Emma Slater were in a great mood while out and about just days after becoming American citizens in L.A. 

Page 14: Stars They’re Just Like Us -- Matt James hit the golf course in Jupiter in Florida, Renee Zellweger with an armload of packages in L.A., pregnant Emily Ratajkowski sipped on a beverage during a beach day in L.A. 

Page 15: Molly Shannon hopped on her bike after withdrawing cash from the ATM in L.A., Sandra Lee taking out the trash at her new place just days after moving out of the N.Y. home she shared with her ex Gov. Andrew Cuomo in Malibu

Page 16: Seeing Double -- mom match with their mini-me’s -- Serena Williams and daughter Alexis Olympia Jr., Sutton Foster and daughter Emily, Gabrielle Union and daughter Kaavia, Kylie Jenner and daughter Stormi, Cardi B and daughter Kulture 

Page 17: Kourtney Kardashian and daughter Penelope, Tamera Mowry-Housley and daughter Ariah, Eva Longoria and son Santiago, pregnant Kelly Rowland and son Titan 

Page 18: Lady Gaga’s hair looks great in all hues 

Page 20: Love Lives -- Lauren Burnham and Arie Luyendyk Jr. welcoming twins 

Page 21: Kevin Jonas commemorated his 11th wedding anniversary with wife Danielle by sharing a photo of the two posing at the very spot they met, Chrishell Stause is defending her new romance with Keo Motsepe against all of the conspiracy theories, Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest’s love was built to last 

Page 22: Just days after Shia LaBeouf was sued by his ex FKA Twigs for sexual battery and assault and emotional distress Shia was spotted making out with Margaret Qualley at LAX airport -- they’re very much in the honeymoon phase and Margaret’s totally smitten and she trusts he’s not the bad guy people say he is but Margaret’s loved ones are concerned about her new beau especially her mother Andie MacDowell who’s keeping an extremely close watch on the situation and if Shia so much puts a foot out of line she’ll come down on him like a ton of bricks -- Shia insists he’s a changed man and that he’ll never go back to those dark days ever again 

Page 23: Life behind bars hasn’t been easy for Mossimo Giannulli and he’s having a rough time -- he’s in Covid-19-related protective custody and spending almost all of his time in his cell has been very mentally taxing but he’s doing his best to stay positive by reading, writing letters to his family and planning future business ventures and turning to prayer when he feels weak 

* After relapsing in December John Mulaney is hoping to make 2021 a better year and he’s committed to a total change of lifestyle -- John who has been vocal about his decades-long substance abuse struggles and he had been on a really long run of bad habits that had turned his life upside down but his family and friends are standing by his side and they’re proud that he’s finally getting the help he so desperately needed for quite some time 

* Keeping Up With Us -- Maren Morris has officially cancelled her upcoming tour due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic and is in the midst of working on her third album, Rachel Zoe was scarred for life after her 9-year-old son Skyler fell 40 feet from a ski lift, TikTok star Charli D’Amerlio and her family are getting their own reality series, Wilmer Valderrama and his fiancee Amanda Pacheco are expecting their first child, six months after The Weeknd put his Hidden Hills mansion on the market for $25 million his asking price has been slashed to just under under $22 million 

Page 24: A Day in Our Life -- Sistine and Sophia Stallone 

Page 25: Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez are engaged -- she’s beyond excited and they are so in love and committed to spend the rest of their lives together and her loved ones approve of the real estate agent

Page 26: What Leah Remini Knows -- actress and Scientology critic Leah is calling out Tom Cruise for his on-set freak-out 

Page 28: Reality Bites -- these stars got their first moments in the spotlight appearing on unscripted TV shows -- Lady Gaga, Cardi B, Laverne Cox, Kesha 

Page 29: Aaron Paul, Josh Henderson, Emma Stone, Jamie Chung 

Page 31: Cover Story -- Survival of the Fittest -- how the hottest stars get and stay in shape -- Halle Berry 

Page 32: Julianne Hough, Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood 

Page 33: Weight Loss Winners -- Rebel Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, Adele 

Page 34: Jennifer Aniston, Gal Gadot 

Page 36: Kaley Cuoco, Jennifer Lopez 

Page 37: Power Couples -- Thom Evans and Nicole Scherzinger, Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade, Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa, Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes 

Page 38: My Healthy Routine -- Kristin Cavallari, Miranda Kerr 

Page 39: Reese Witherspoon, Vanessa Hudgens 

Page 40: Style -- shades of glory -- Pantone’s Color of the Year for 2021 is actually two defining hues -- wear Illuminating Yellow and Ultimate Gray in myriad ways 

Page 42: Entertainment -- Gina Torres on her role on 9-1-1: Lone Star 

Page 43: 2021 movie preview 

Page 46: Fashion Police -- Gwen Stefani, Ashley Roberts, Lily Collins 

Page 47: Saweetie, Gavin Rossdale, Bella Thorne 

Page 48: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Brian Austin Green 

[itsnaboo-blog]

Time flies, and We have survive for another year.

It’s still clear on my mind the night we heard the news about your leaving. And not only me, every soul in our family was really feeling apart with it.

In that moment, i could see a mom couldn’t hold her sadness while saying “why it should be you, i am old enough. It should be me not you” then she followed him after months feel so lonely and suffering for “normal” dementia.

In that moment, i could witnessing an oldest son couldn’t stand on his foot properly and falling several times knowing it will be his responsibility.

In that moment, i couldn’t realize a strong wife could still arrange her family for years without asking for another man and just trust her Almighty God’s help.

In that moment, i could barely witness my selfish blaming everyone except me for his leaving. Blaming the doctor who do not treat him properly, blaming the family with “give up” decision” without knowing it was heavier on their shoulders than me. I have everyone offering their shoulder instead while my brother do not want to open their own rooms.

Everything happened ofc with Allah’s help. Knowing that our one and only “income” was gone forever. Knowing that our one and only “guard” was leaving forever. Knowing that our one and only “answer” was questioning forever.

We pass another year pak. Ibuk was doing good even after 7 years being a single parent. She did great as our rolmod. I am still in the process to pursue your dream for this girl. Bros and sists also try so hard to make their lives.

I missed it to hear “terimakasih” from you. But i will try to do it for my other parents. Now i have three left in this earth. Insya Allah we will meet again hereafter, i will catch up with all amal shalih, jariyah, and the knowledge.

Ps: the video that i couldn’t hold my tears recently are fadil jaidi and pak muh, duta and aisha. Some waswisufi told me that “it will be great to hear thankyou from our parents ” thank you for something beyond their expectations