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#am will totally talk about this more actually
whimsyfinny · 2 days
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He's a Winchester
Chapter 2
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: It's been a long time since (Y/n) and Dean's paths have crossed. Last time they saw each other it was ‘98 and they were young and living in the moment. Nine years down the Line, their paths cross again, but (Y/n)s longest kept secret is about to become Deans reality.
Slow burn (ish), mom!reader
Warnings: language, mention of toxic parenting/custody battle, angst, alcohol,
Chapter Word Count: 3471
MDNI 18+
A/N: here it is! I’m not gonna lie, this is going to be very slow burn at first, but don’t worry, you know me and you know how much juicy content I write so it’s definitely coming hahaha. I’m also trying to figure out a schedule for posting this, so hopefully I can upload two chapters a week.
A/N2: GUYS IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING but PLEEEEASE provide your age if you want to be added to the taglist and it isn’t in your blog. This story is tame now but it’s gonna get spicy, and my blog is strictly 18+. So pleeeeease save be a very long job and help a gal out. 
Photos from Pinterest
Previous Chapter: Chapter 1
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Chapter 2
I reached for the bottle of wine for the third time in the last hour and a half. I was sitting with Kat, pyjamas adorned, in the living room of mine and Levi's modest two bedroom house. For financial (and personal) reasons, our little house didn't follow current trends and looked more like something out of a popular 90s sitcom. The couch was comfy, the blankets were fuzzy, and a fresh pot of coffee was always brewing. Pictures embellished the walls of every milestone Levi had achieved; every birthday party, every new dirt bike, every new hairstyle. There were a few of Kat and I from over the years, going way back to when we first met back in ‘99 and both decided to rock platform heels on at the turn of the millennium - having tiny babies at the time didn't seem to stop us. Every single moment on these walls was a happy memory - something that I would treasure forever, yet there was something missing. There were no photos - or perhaps a scarce few - of my own parents, or of them with Levi, or of any extended family for that matter. The price I paid when I decided to have my son out of wedlock, at barely twenty years old, with a man who my family saw as a total stranger, is a price I'd pay every time in a heartbeat. Kat and Toby were our family now, and that was more than I could ever ask for. That was why the sheer possibility of Levi getting to meet his dad for the first time in, well, ever… it had my mind spinning. It was a scenario I'd dreamt of, late at night when I couldn't sleep and the burdens of life weighed me down. I conjured false memories in my minds eye of the pair of them fixing his bike on the drive or driving to school in the impala. I pictured us having breakfast together as a family and taking trips to the movies. Being together. Because no matter how many dates I went on, or how many frogs I’d kissed over the years, none of them were Levi's father.
None of them were Dean Winchester.
“Girl you have to reach out to him,” Kat walked in from the adjacent kitchen before slumping on the couch next to me, wine glass elevated to reduce spillage.
“Kat I could barely look at him today without feeling like I was going to have a heart attack - how the fuck am I supposed to talk to him?” I glanced at her with wide eyes, every nerve in my body on edge despite the wine and scented candles. Kat sighed. 
“You might never get this opportunity again, and we both know that if you don’t give Levi the opportunity to meet his father then you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.” I held my breath, urging the raging storm in my mind to quiet down before letting the air gush from my lungs.
“Yeah I know. I just…I just never thought that this would actually happen, you know? I never thought that Dean would show up here. I figured Levi would eventually track him down when he was old enough to make that decision on his own. I have no idea how to even approach this.”
“Sure you do!” Kat beamed, a wicked glint in her eye, “you sit him down and say, ‘Hey Dean! Remember when we had sex in the back of that amazing car of yours nine years ago? Well, actions have consequences, and yours in eight years old and sitting in his science class right now.’”
I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face and I cackled when the bit of popcorn I threw landed in her wine glass.
“Bitch.”
I blew her a kiss in response to her insult. It didn’t take long though for the distraction to run its course and for my mind to return to its state of panic.
“But seriously, what am I going to say to him? What if I tell him, and he rejects us too, like my family did?”
Her smile softened.
“From everything that you’ve told me about that man, I highly doubt he’s going to reject you. Sure, he might not stick around permanently, but he sounds like the kind of guy that would stay in touch,” her softened smile turned to a stern stare, “but he’s only going to do that if he knows. He deserves to know he has a son.”
I took a long gulp of my wine. 
“Yeah, I’m going to tell him…” I paused, gnawing my bottom lip as I drew my knees to my chest, “it’s Saturday tomorrow so I’m not at work and Levi has two hours at the track. I can try to do it tomorrow, but I’m not sure if I’ll even be able to track Dean down in that time - I have no idea where he could be.”
“Hey, I’ll pick up Levi from Motocross - it’s been a few days since him and Toby have spent any proper time together anyway, just them two. Tobes’ has been dying to show him those brand new boots of his.”
We shared a smile. That’s the thing about Kat; she always had my back, no matter the situation.
“Thanks babes, I owe you one.”
She shook her head.
“No way - this is me returning the favour from when Toby’s dad decided to show an interest in his own child. I’m pretty sure my kid thought you were adopting him at one point from how much he stayed here,” I laughed, remembering the camp bed I bought especially for Toby, along with all the extra duvet sets and boxes of cereal I’d had to purchase for the best part of half a year.
“He’s a good kid, and honestly he and Levi entertained themselves for most of it.”
There was another pause in the conversation as I recounted how difficult it had been for Kat when David had shown up, insisting on being a part of Tobys life despite zero contact since his son was born. They’d argued over custody, over which school he went to, the clubs he attended. Even his hobbies were on the line, with David wanting him to play football despite Toby already being involved down at the track with the bikes. The stress caused Kat to lose weight and sleep, and she nearly lost her job over it all when she kept falling asleep at her desk. I’d lost count of how many times she’d cried in my arms. Cried over a man who thought that practically owning his son was his God given right despite being an absent father, and I think that is what scared me the most. That I would feel the same wretched things that she felt, and the waves of disappointment that crashed over her time and time again when false promises were made. It took her months to settle on an agreement due to David's behaviour, and Toby finally sees his father, albeit only for one weekend a month. It's better than nothing, but certainly not worth the fight that was fought with blood, sweat and tears. 
I hope from the bottom of my heart that Dean takes the news well, and doesn't leave us in the dust like he does in my worst nightmares.
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It had taken me around thirty minutes to track down Dean. Well, to at least find the impala. It's common knowledge that if you find that car, Dean isn't far away. I’d parked my truck two spaces down, and luckily we were within walking distance of my favourite café, Jolenes’. It was my safe space. The place that I would finally tell him about Levi.
I pulled the sleeves of my soft cardigan down over my hands to stop myself from chewing nervously on my nails. Leaving the safety of my truck, I paced over to the black Chevy and stood by it, determined to speak to Dean as soon as possible. I knew that if I had stayed sitting behind my own wheel, there was a huge chance that I'd chicken out and just drive away. As I waited I checked over the car in front of me, admiring how he still kept it spotless after all these years. Unable to stop myself, I let my gaze drift over to the backseat, the events that unfurled on the soft leather racing to mind. I pulled my lip between my teeth, unable to resist the replay of memories.
“You have good taste in cars.”
I practically launched out my skin as the voice came from behind me. I could hear the amusement in his voice from a few feet away. I spun on my heel and our eyes locked, the charming grin slipping slightly from Deans’ lips when he realised it was me. The playfulness in his features quickly softened, a true, genuine smile now gracing his lips.
“Dean…” I suddenly felt breathless, but despite my nerves I returned his smile in kind.
“It's good to see you (Y/n),” he stepped forward and pulled me into his arms, enveloping me in his entirety. I closed my eyes as I hugged him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and taking a deep breath, my brain tingling at his familiar scent.
“You too, Dean. It's been too long.”
After a moment we released each other and Dean stood up straight, smiling at me again with a soft twinkle in his eye. We both flinched slightly when someone cleared their throat and he took a step back. 
“Oh, uh, (Y/n), this is Sam, my younger brother,” he patted the shoulder of the young man standing beside him, and I instantly recognised him from the dessert parlour. He was tall, taller than Dean even, which was one hell of an accomplishment, and his face held a similar boyish charm to Deans. Yet he looked softer around the edges, like he hadn't been hardened by life too much yet.
“It's a pleasure, I'm (Y/n). I've known you're brother for a while,” I smiled as I shook his hand, taking note of the rough calluses beginning to form on his palms. “He used to talk about you all the time, apparently you're the smart one of the family,” with a grin and a quick glance at Dean, I tested the waters with humour. If he laughed or took the blow like a champ, now was a good time to talk to him. Sam chuckled, squeezing my hand slightly in his before letting it go. 
“Ouch… (Y/n), sweetheart, aren't you supposed to be on my side here? Y’know, with our history and all…?” he feigned hurt with a hand on his chest before his lips twitched up and he shot me a wink.
“I mean… she's not wrong,” Sam laughed, dropping his hands lazily into his pockets.
“Hey, I'm just going on what you told me, Dean. Don't hold that against me,” I grinned at them both, unsure of what to do with my hands so I crossed them across my chest.
A small breath of silence passed between us, Deans’ gaze holding mine with an intensity that made me want to look away. I didn't. Sam cleared his throat again, clapping his hand to Deans’ shoulder before taking a step back.
“I'll, uh, give you guys a few minutes,” and with an appreciative nod from Dean, Sam gave us some space. With his younger brother gone, my heart began to flutter in my chest. The time to break the news was getting closer, and my nerves were on edge. On fire.
“So,” he started, taking a step closer with a deep breath, “how's it going? How long has it been?”
“Nine years,” I was almost too hot on the mark, my words coming out faster than I'd intended and Dean blinked slightly. I sighed, looking down. “There's been a lot going on, and honestly, I've really needed you at times. You're a hard man to find Dean Winchester.” 
“I'm sorry, sweetheart,” his brows pinched apologetically and he reached for my hand, tracing my knuckles with his thumb. I took a deep breath and met his gaze again.
“Do you… do you have some time? I need to talk to you. It's important, and if I don't do it now, I don't know if I'll get another chance.” 
He nodded slowly, giving my hand a squeeze, releasing it hesitantly with a slight wince to his features.
“Uh oh,” he said, “am I in trouble?”
I laughed, the sound light off my chest.
“Oh Dean,” I reached up to touch his face, and his instinctive reaction was to lean into my palm, “you don't know the half of it.” 
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The walk to the café had been pleasant. We chatted about what we'd been up to since we last met - Dean revealing he was still in the same line of work and had travelled around a lot, never really settling down. There was something about that nugget of information that made my stomach twist in knots. He learnt I was still a receptionist, this time at the local garage  instead of the large dealership I had scored before. He asked why I'd changed, to go to something smaller, lesser, and my silence urged him to wait until we were at our destination. He knew I was anxious, and he did his best to keep conversation light and breezy until the time was right. To an untrained eye he was unphased, yet I could tell from the lip nibbling and flitting gaze that he was nervous too.
Do you think he's already guessed it?
The bell jingled as we walked in, the two baristas looking up and instantly greeting me with a wave and a smile.
“Hey (Y/n)! Your couch is free,” the first barista, a young man around my age with soft blond curls waved to me across the counter, his brilliant grin making me smile with a comforting familiarity. “Your usual?”
“Yes please! Thanks, Jake,” I returned the friendliness, stepping around the tables until we arrived at my favourite spot.
“And for your… date?” He gestured to Dean, who was now shrugging off his leather jacket, “what can I get for you pal?” 
Dean hesitated, before just holding his hands up.
“Uhhh, I don't know, I guess I'll have what she's having.”
With our hot beverages on their way, I sat down in my usual nook in the corner whilst Dean sat down opposite, in that same plush armchair that Kat had sat in yesterday. Where Kat had been swallowed by the chair and its all-consuming cushions, Dean had the opposite effect. He made the chair look small under his broad form, like it was made for a child. There were a few moments of silence, neither of us really knowing where to start. So I bit the bullet.
“Dean… before I tell you anything, just know that I've been trying to get hold of you on and off for years. Your number always seemed to go to voicemail and I never got a call back. So please just… know I tried.” 
I looked up and he was totally engaged, already hanging off every word I said as he leant forward, his elbows on his knees. Our attention pulled away from each other briefly as our coffees arrived, hand delivered by the second barista - a woman a few years older than myself with a jet black pixie cut.
“Thanks Emily, you're an angel,” I grasped the mug before she even had a chance to put it on the table and clutched it in my lap, letting the warmth seep through my palms to help soothe my nerves. 
“No worries babes, you two have fun,” she looked between Dean and me with a playful smirk, throwing me a wink before she turned around. 
Great, the gossip starts now.
I turned back to Dean who was now sitting on the edge of his seat. I took a deep breath.
Do it now.
“Dean, I have a son.”
I watched his face twitch slightly, almost like it dropped in disappointment, however it was so fleeting across his features that it was hard to tell. He pulled a strained smile onto his lips.
“(Y/n) that's great, I'm happy for you,” he looked down at his boots briefly, choosing his next words, “I guess this is you telling me to stay away, huh? Now that you have a family and all. It's ok, I get it.”
I shook my head, placing my cup on the table so I could pull myself to sit on the edge of the couch, almost mirroring Dean.
“No, no Dean, that's not- look, what I'm saying is…” another deep breath, “you, have a son.”
I watched his eyes go wide, unsure if he heard me correctly.
“What?” His voice was breathy.
I looked down into my mug for a second, choosing my words. 
“I have a little boy; he's eight, his name is Levi…and he's yours, Dean. He's your son.”
I dared to look up at him, watching his eyes go wider and his mind empty of thoughts. Either that, or his mind is racing so fast that it's left his body on standby. I gave him a few minutes to process the news. Or at least process it the best he could as it would likely be days or weeks before this fully sunk in. Nervousness prickled at my own skin, my worst fears of rejection bubbling to the surface again at his silence. I sighed.
“It’s ok, Dean, I’m not expecting you to-”
He stood abruptly, stepped over the coffee table and pulled me to my feet, wrapping his strong arms around me in a crushing grip. His arms were so tight that it almost winded me, yet I returned his embrace. The feeling of his lips on the top of my head surprised me as he kissed my hair, the sensation warm and comforting. He placed one, two more kisses before he cupped my face in his large hands, his rough palms gentle against my cheeks as I locked eyes with him. The sight was beautiful. The annoyance and exasperation that I expected to be met with was nowhere to be seen, and I saw no shadow of negativity within those evergreen eyes. All I saw was love. Pride. Joy. Excitement. The relief washing over me felt the same as climbing into your nice, warm comfy bed when on the brink of exhaustion. 
“I’m a dad?” his voice cracked slightly whilst his eyes shimmered.
I nodded as a grin erupted across his face, followed by an airy, almost unbelieving chuckle.
“Holy fuck, (Y/n)-”
“You’re not mad?” my voice was quiet.
“What?” Dean looked at me as though I’d grown a second head, “of course not. Why would I be mad?”
“Because it’s been nine years since we last saw each other, and suddenly this woman who you’ve not spoken to in nearly a decade drops the biggest truth bomb on you. A truth bomb  that I know you definitely weren’t expecting,” I try to step back but he pulls me in for another hug, squeezing the air out of me a second time.
“(Y/n), sweetheart, this is the best bit of news I’ve had in a long, long time.”
I smiled into his chest, freeing my arms to wrap them around his neck and pull him down into a hug of my own. We stood for a moment in our embrace as the coffee shop busied around us. I knew this shop and I knew this town and people would soon start to talk, start to try and figure out Dean: like who is he? How does he know (Y/n)? Why are they acting so familiar? Is he trouble? But that was all unimportant rubbish that I would deal with later. Right now, Levis father was here, and he knew. For the first time in my adult life I felt like I wasn’t keeping some devastating secret from an incredible man, and it was like I could breathe again. 
Pulling away from Deans’ bear hug, I tucked the wisps of hair away that had come loose from my claw grip and grinned up at him, reaching for his hand. I held it in mine as I swayed slightly on the spot, like an excited schoolgirl who’d just been asked on her first date. Dean smiled down at me, the sort of smile that shone on top of the world.
“So…” I started, biting my lip slightly.
“Do you want to meet your son?”
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cityofmeliora · 2 days
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Secondo lied about being able to speak Swedish, and Terzo lied about *not* being able to speak Swedish
this is honestly one of the funniest things i've noticed in the Ghost lore 😂
when Secondo performed live in Sweden, he would speak some broken / mispronounced Swedish words and phrases on stage.
at Terzo's very first concert, he called out Secondo for lying. Secondo couldn't actually speak Swedish. he was just trolling, and Terzo thought that was a stupid prank. unlike his brother, Terzo admitted he did not speak Swedish, and he asserted he would not troll the audience by attempting to speak Swedish on stage. he re-iterated this several times at concerts in Sweden.
PAPA EMERITUS III: My imbecile brother has somehow fooled you into thinking he can speak some fucking Swedish– pidgin Swedish. No more of that! I do not speak Swedish, OK? Linköping, Sweden (June 3, 2015) via Youtube and Instagram
PAPA EMERITUS III: How are you doing? It's nice to see so many of you here. What has it been, a little over a year? My brother told me about you. And you do know that I'm not gonna trick you with any fucking pidgin Swedish, huh? I know he fooled you into believing he could talk. He sounded like a fucking asshole. Stockholm, Sweden (November 13, 2015)
... except Terzo was also totally lying because later in the same concert in Stockholm, Terzo yells at the audience in fluent Swedish.
PAPA EMERITUS III: FATTA DET HÄR FÖR HELVETE! Stockholm, Sweden (November 13, 2015)
"FATTA DET HÄR FÖR HELVETE!" translates to something like "UNDERSTAND THIS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
Terzo was so bad at maintaining this lie about not speaking Swedish. he continually insisted that he could not speak Swedish, but he also kept demonstrating that not only was he a fluent Swedish speaker, he was very familiar with the culture.
PAPA EMERITUS III: Good evening. How do you do? Alright, let me get this straight to you now: Despite the band being a Swedish band, I don’t speak Swedish, OK? But I can try. You wanna hear me try? You know, we got some awards which we are very thankful for, obviously. So I can say, “Jag är kåt, glad, och tacksam.” And I can say, “Plopp.” “Kexchoklad.” Bandit Rock Awards 2016 (January 19, 2016)
“Jag är kåt, glad, och tacksam.” means "I am horny, glad, and thankful."
"Plopp" and "Kexchoklad" are the names of two Swedish chocolate candies.
PAPA EMERITUS III: I know for a fact that here in Skåne you like your potatoes, huh? Spettekaka. How fitting, because this song we’re gonna do right now does have a culinary theme that you might like. Malmö, Sweden (February 25, 2016)
Skåne is the county of Sweden where this concert was performed.
Spettekaka is a Swedish dessert.
unless they're already very familiar with Swedish, an English speaker wouldn't know how to pronounce most of these words correctly, and Terzo does.
obviously, this is all because TF is Swedish and had trouble staying in character. but the lore implications are hilarious for Terzo HAHAHA. he loves to lie and he's so bad at it.
(BTW i actually don't speak Swedish! if you are a fluent speaker, feel free to correct my translations!)
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housecow · 2 days
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Not the same anon, but 10 years difference will mean nothing to you in a few years when you grow out of that mindset. If you're single at 50, are you really going to turn down someone if they're 60 and you connect well? That mindset is self infantilism.
LOL but that’s a completely different thing??
i’m fresh out of college and still haven’t found an actual job in what i studied for yet. there are many things i am totally out of my element with and despite all of my talk here, i don’t want to be totally dependent on someone??
it’s not the age, necessarily, but the fact i am lacking in life experience. i’m not comfortable with jumping into something without figuring out more about being an adult 🤷‍♀️
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thegamingcatmom · 2 days
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BIRB MAMA LET´S GO 🐦‍⬛
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(I can´t get over how adorable/goofy she looks here. How am I supposed to fear any of that?)
If Mother Miranda were to take an interest in you outside the whole vessel thing, it would include:
(Yall know the drill by now: Don´t like my dark and twisted stuff, don´t read my dark and twisted stuff. 🖤)
having to listen to her ranting and gossiping about her "children"
sometimes, it´s straight up just death threats
she´s scary when she gets like that
especially because she tends to breathe down your neck to calm herself (your scent is quite helpful)
having to listen to her feverish prayers when it comes to Eva
Eva is a big topic in general
helping her in her lab
which basically means cleaning up her mess (and she is rather messy, it has to be said)
we´re talking mountains of papers as well as mountains of bodies
ofc she´s gonna make sure to snuff out every last bit of life before she lets you near her failed experiments
she won´t take any risks when it comes to you
as for the papers-
...it´s a mess
and it´s very scary (and very unfair) when she gets all hissy and murderous over you trying to do your "job" and clean up her mess just because, out of the millions of papers, there´s one that she still needs
"How dare you throw that away?!"
"Well, how tf am I supposed to know?!"
...you think to yourself because there´s no way you´re gonna say that to her face (you quite like breathing, tyvm)
Eva
whenever she has one of her downright terrifying smash-things-against-the-wall "tantrums" (as you like to call them not to her face) she gets all purry and touchy-feely after
probs her way of apologizing (cause there ain´t no way she´s gonna use them words)
you hate that it´s working
despite being a mass murderer/mold monster smt who doesn´t require eating or using any stuff that humans usually would (like toilets), she does appreciate you cooking and cleaning for her
things she tasked you with ofc
she quite...enjoys the sight
(smt about that domestic view just...does things to her)
(you force-wearing an apron drives her wild)
Eva
preening
she does have feathers, after all
and those need lots of TLC 💋
makes you clean her mask too
or her rings
anything, really
in return, you may wear it
(honestly? totally worth it)
we won´t talk about the fact she´s doing it more for herself (just like pretty much everything else) because seeing you wearing what is hers just...yknow?
but also to demonstrate just how good it feels to be bad
"Hm... What do you think, little bird? Do you like it? I certainly do..."
Eva
forces you to attend meetings with her so she can show you off
and also because it almost always gives her a reason to rip into her "children" because that bunch just doesn´t know how to behave around you
especially the tall one who keeps throwing you looks that make it seem like she wants nothing more than for you to drop dead
you kinda share that sentiment
anywhere would be better than here
...she´s scary
something Miranda takes note of as well
one look is all that is needed to put the tall one in her place
in moments like this, you truly appreciate your roommate´s/abductor´s murderous side
when you´ve been especially good for a (long) while (no escape attempts, no talking back, no disobeying her whatsoever) she indulges your childish urges to see her transform into different animals
she will deny any and all accusations of smiling at that, down to her very last breath
(she could be persuaded though...)
Eva
one day, you´ll probs have to go from cleaning that mess to making it
which means actively helping MM with her experiments
cutting someone open etc.
there´s no way out of it, let´s be honest
it´s her livelihood, ofc she wants to share that with you
(isn´t she just precious?)
spying on the villagers for her
(she will find out when you´ve been lying, so don´t even think about it)
Eva
(This actually got way less dark and twisted than I anticipated. Gotta work on that, LMAO.)
Basically, my HC for Miranda includes her getting an absolute kick out of anything family/domestic life. She goes absolutely nuts when it comes to her daughter, so I imagine this would count for a significant other as well. She gets obsessed to the point of no return, and she´ll fight tooth and nail to keep them with her always.
I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and-
But, alas, it is rather late and, unlike some mold monster smt, I do need my sleep. ;3
I might do more posts like that cause I have thoughts. 😩🤌
CYA THERE! 🫶
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pinkvaquita · 18 hours
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hey u know class of 09 right? whatd you think of the flip side (came out today, jeckas pov)
Just make a post saying that it wasn't that much good-, but guess I can make a longer one because that other one was literally just those words.
Soooo... Oh god it had so much potential. It had so much wasted potential.
Going in order of routes. Spoilers Ahead
1° Jecka Suicide.
Again... Why foot fetish!?
Like I get that maybe using other options could not be possible because is 2009 and there is no only fans. But it could have been any other thing!
Like, in the last game they show us the whole myspace prostitution circle. They could have used that to make her sell swimsuit photos or questionable poses!
If they necessary wanted to use Jeffrey, maybe they could make Jecka do shitty cosplay or voice acting manga scenes!
And even if the foot fetish was totally necessary, they didn't needed the scenes to last that long! They could have done the whole "screen goes black" timeskip thing like when Nicole attempts suicide!
And now with the whole Nicole fucked her dad thing...
That was the only part I am not complaining.
Nicole is a sociopath, and as much (Wich is literally just the bare minimum) as she appreciates Jecka, this is in character for her.
She herself said in the first game she doesn't care enough for Jecka to try to see her after graduation. She was more than fine with leaving her alone with her pedophile brother. And only cared about it untill Jecka wanted to leave her.
And honestly, she only cares about Jecka when she tries to leave her. Like in the jail ending and the dating Ari ending.
And is only in those two! Like literally, we see her witness Jecka die and go to jail in the racist endings and she doesn't care!
Even when people hate her or love her, Nicole doesn't give a fuck, and would backstab for the most simple reasons.
She literally make a whole scheme to steal Megan's boyfriend and embarrass her about it In front of anyone, just because Megan was bossy.
She abused Ari, even if she didn't do anything wrong to her. Just out of fun.
Are we really that surprised she did this to Jecka? She has done worst for less!
And also, Jecka leaved a sorry message when Nicole killed herself. Nicole didn't.
And the monologue... Oh, that was depressing. Jecka's words were so sad. Although I have one problem with this. The pic.
Why is she in her bra!? Why is she in a pose like if it is a body pillow!?
Is this some weird metaphor I am not getting????? Because this thing looks to me like another weird thing going on in the developing.
2° Jeffrey dies ending.
Same situation with the foot fetish. Why????
Now going with the end... Damn that monlogu was also good. I do appreciate the showing how the different circumstances Jecka and Nicole had growling up affect their behavior. And also, Nicole voice at the end genuinely scared me. For a whole second I thought she was gonna use Jecka's abusive background against her and talk to her like an abusive parent would.
Other than that it was... Good? I guess. I mean, Jeffrey is a total creep so I don't really care if he died.
3° FYE
What the fuck was that?????????
Seriously, that was the most out of place and boring route. It felt like it was a total different game!
The dialogue, the scenes, the ENDING????
I mean, yeah I don't find that insane that maybe there is a whole warehouse filled with illegal porn and the FBI finding it and not telling anyone.
What I do find insane is a guy giving the place information I'm a riddle, two teen girls finding it, and that somehow ending in one dead and the other being victim of human trafficking.
And the dialogue of the counselor was so weird. Like, wtf?????
The only mildly good thing is that Kelly got some screen time. But that wasn't even enough because she had zero character explanation. She is the true bimbo, give her an actual exploratory arch like Emily or Ari. Or at least make her be worth to watch like with Megan! Give my girl something to be iconic about!
4° Ari dies ending.
Jecka turning emo was not on my bingo card. Honestly I like this route more than the Jeffrey one, even if involves Ari's death and Jecka still living with his dad (Wich by the way, I was also scared everytime he was on screen.)
The party scenes felt so real. Emily acting out an calling Jecka and Nicole possers was in character. The hat man scene was unnecessary but good enough to ignore it was out of place. Jecka with black hair was EVERYTHING. OMG I feel so bad for how damaged her blonde hair got.
Now story wise, I remember seeing a YouTube comment calling this a route were Jecka becomes slowly as bad as Nicole. Literally she killed someone and instead of the regret she would normally show, it was: "That was low-key funny" and "I'm so pretty when I cry"
Good route. I can live with this one. Live, laugh, love emotionally empty Jecka.
5° Jecka's version of Nicole suicide route
This was so heartbreaking.
First. I was not expecting this from Mister Kaz. He literally was the only teacher in the whole game that seemed to not be a pedophile or racist or both. I should have seen it comming.
Jecka's scene in therapy was tugging my heart so badly. Specially because of her desperately rambling and breaking down in tears. I almost forgot that Miss Ames was racist just because she was trying to help.(although I still hate her. And even more with how she acted in the foot fetish route.)
Second, seeing that scene from the first game word by word was terrifying because that was the signal of: "you know how this is gonna end"
The intervention scene was also realistic. The break trust. The attempt to get police involved. The fear. Even more when Jecka got home and was received by her dad screaming at her. I even though he was gonna kill her.
And all that tension and horror builds and builds untill we reach the scene. We know is gonna happen. And it still hurts like hell.
Seeing Jecka standing right besides Nicole's corpse (Wich again, why Nicole got such a cinematic picture for her suicide end but Jecka instead got THAT????) while reading the suicide note was so sad.
And the final dialogue was good. I feel kinda disappointed that there wasn't a final monologue. But that scene replaces it enough.
Conclusion. This was... Meh? The only memorable and well develop ending is the fifth one. The Ari one is good but is not that much good. The suicide one has too many weird things going on to be as iconic. The Jeffrey one is both things combined. And the FYE one is bad.
And even if there is some good things.the game feels so... Bland and soulless? There is no longer the social commentary or the routes were there is some sort of fucked up justice. Neither the humor. It could be because of Jecka not being as sociopathic as Nicole. But even when Nicole got bad endings, there was still some reflection about society in those.
It could have been so better. It wasn't worth the hype.
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corpses777 · 2 days
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Daddy Issues
𖤐 angst / fluff | fem!reader x late seasons daryl
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This was exactly what Daryl didn’t want to happen. Sitting the girl down in front of him to have a ‘talk’ with her in his own house in Alexandria that didn’t even feel like his in the first place. 
 
It felt too serious, adult-like; he had figured that talking with kids actually wasn’t a problem, but teenagers? He didn’t know a thing about that. 
 
The girl in question was young—way too young for her behavior. Based on looks, Daryl would say the girl was maybe 15-17ish. She would send him seductive glances with those doe eyes but still be the sweetest kid around Alexandria, but Daryl couldn’t see her like that anymore. He had had enough by now. 
 
He didn’t want to hurt the girls feelings, but it had got to stop before he wouldn’t be able to say no anymore. 
 
“Listen, kid... you’ve got to stop, okay?” He starts off easily, hoping she’d get just this hint at least. 
 
“Stop what, Mr. Dixon?” She replies, in Daryl’s mind, acting dumb. 
 
“Don’t be stupid.” He says more sternly, and she swallows. “You know exactly what I mean.” He adds. 
 
“But-“ She starts, but Daryl interrupts. “How old are you exactly?” He asks, forearms resting on the dark wooden table. 
 
“Who’s askin’?” She answers a bit smuggly. 
 
“I am??” He raises his voice a bit, getting pretty damn annoyed now. 
 
But she goes quiet, not answering.
 
“Answer me, for fucks sake!” He slams his fist into the table, and she sits up a bit straight in shock, her eyes widening. 
 
“Sixteen ..?” She mumbles quietly. 
 
“Sixt-, kiddo, you know what you’re doing is totally wrong and inappropriate, hm?” He felt like Rick right now, but this had to be done. 
 
She blinks, shrugs shyly. 
 
“No, don’t you just shrug; I know you’ve got problems, but you can’t act like that around old men, yeah?” And with that, the young girl tears up, her bottom lip trembling. 
 
Daryl cursed himself out in his head before sighing and standing up. His intentions weren’t to make an ‘innocent’ teenager cry. Even though the girl made him angry and annoyed, she worried him just as much; this wasn’t normal behavior for young girls. 
 
He walks over to the girl, kneeling down on the floor beside the chair to cup her face and wipe the already fallen tears with his broad thumbs before pulling her closer, tangling his hand in her free hair on the back of her head. 
 
“Shh.., I ain’t wantin’ to make ya cry, baby, ya know that...” he mumbles into the air beside her head, his cheek pressed against hers. 
 
She sniffles, her voice wobbly. “Im so sorry, Mr. Dixon... I didn’t mean to make you angry.” she sniffles. 
 
Some people would probably say that she was overreacting, but who knew what she had in her baggage from the past? It could be anything, and in this moment Daryl could make some pretty accurate guesses. 
 
“Don’t go apologizing.. but this is wrong, and you know that, princess.” He tries to comfort her and confront her without being too harsh. 
 
“But I really like you,” she sniffles into his shoulder. 
 
“I like you too, but not like that, okay?”
 
She nods; she promised herself to stop since Daryl asked her to. She’d always do what he said, trusting him blindly. 
this is so shitty but uhm .. me core!! 😝
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midwinterhunt · 1 month
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writer ask game 6 and 7?
6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best? my writing schedule is "One day I posted three chapters in a row and then didn't post again for a year" and such. I am horrible about writing consistently lol.
7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote Oh god buckle up.
I was 13/14 at this time, severely depressed, and about 70% of my brain was occupied with Doctor Who. And then someone gave me access to Wattpad.
I made a self insert OC named Alex, who through time loop reasons became an acquaintance, but not full on companion, of The Doctor. She would go with him on alien time travel stuff because she had an affinity for it, and it also doubled as running away from home for long periods at a time.
She thought time traveling was helping her cope, she was distracted from feeling sad, and even was brave enough to meet and starting talking with a boy (who i named Ets for some reason??) who would appear off and on several times throughout the story as she grew more attached to him. Until finally she started bringing him along (The Doctor didn't like him too much, but Alex vouched for him.)
(You can find Ets here or in my OC directory from my pinned post)
Anyway, one slow burn later, Ets turned out to be the one orchestrating all the bad events they had been dealing with. He said that he was going to kill everyone she loved, and that he was specifically trying to hurt her. She was panicked and confused and ended up killing him. I think the building may have collapsed or something? I know she also ended up dead. Uh, downside: she woke up in the body of another girl, and retained the memories of both. Really, it was hard to tell if some random girl was given her memories, or if she body snatched a random person. Because both minds were equally fused within minutes.
Anyway, she tries to go home to her family and is rejected because they think she's some stranger playing a messed up prank. Somehow she ends up with the TARDIS Ets apparently owned, and she starts traveling on her own.
At this point I just started writing her going through the plots of every show/book series that I liked and wrote it off as traveling the multiverse.
At one point her TARDIS becomes sentient, builds himself an actual body, and names himself Clyde and gradually has an identity crisis.
At one point Alex reincarnates into a guy's body (yay for baby trans me for exploring gender this way).
I later redesigned Clyde (several times actually). Eventually renamed him T-ai. And am currently updating him again to post here on tumblr.
I had 13 chapters posted on Wattpad, nearly thirty written on notebook paper, and the rest of it either outlined or just imagined in my head. I have since scrubbed the internet of all trace of this fic until today.
Oh god I wonder if I still have some of the hand written chapters lying around.
This fic was Not Good.
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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pocketgalaxies · 2 years
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What were you doing for the previous 28 years? (C3E6 || C3E39) (requested by anonymous)
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mewkwota · 6 months
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Geo Stelar and his super-cool futuristic boots that he could probably use to knock someone out with. They were keeping me up last night. :[
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gingermintpepper · 6 days
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As usual I read your tags always and so you said Apollo did not ask for resurrection of Asclepius and Hyacinthus so i just wanted to share this. About Asclepius death I read it on theoi.com, that earlier authors don't make him resurrect as a god but that's a later development mentioned only by Roman authors like Cicero, Hyginus and Ovid. But still Apollo has a role in Ovid's version
Ovid, Fasti 6. 735 ff (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) : Clymenus [Haides] and Clotho resent the threads of life respun and death's royal rights diminished. Jove [Zeus] feared the precedent and aimed his thunderbolt at the man who employed excessive art. Phoebus [Apollon], you whined. He is a god; smile at your father, who, for your sake, undoes his prohibitions [i.e. when he obtains immortality for Asklepios].
So here it is actually because of Apollo the decision was taken to resurrect him as god. And with Hyacinthus, I don't think I've read about Artemis playing the primary role. I know in Sparta there was a picture of Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite carrying Hyacinthus and his sister to heaven.
This is not on theoi.com but I saw on Tumblr it's from Dionysiaca by Nonnus
Second, my lord Oiagros wove a winding lay, as the father of Orpheus who has the Muse his boon companion. Only a couple of verses he sang, a ditty of Phoibos, clearspoken in few words after some Amyclaian style: Apollo brought to life again his longhaired Hyacinthos: Staphylos will be made to live for aye by Dionysos.
So since he is singing inspired by amyclean stories it probably means in that place it was believed Apollo was the one to bring back his lover to life.
Apollo as god of order was very important so i think it shows how special these people (and admetus too) were to him that he decided to go against the order for them 🥺
ANON!! Shakes you like a bottle of ramune!! BELOVED ANON!!!!! I'm littering your face with kisses, I'm anointing you with olive oil and honey - you absolutely made my night with this because, not only did I get the pure serotonin shot of having someone interact with my tags (yippee, wahoo!!) I also got to have that wonderful feeling of "oh wow, have I misunderstood something that was integral to my understanding of this myth/figure this whole time or is this a case of interpretational differences?" which is imo vital for my aims and interests as someone who enjoys mythological content and literature.
I'll preface my response with this: Hyacinthus is by far the hardest of these to get accounts for because his revival itself, as you very astutely point out, is generally accounted for in painting/ritual format which muddies the waters on who interceded for what. I wasn't actually familiar with that passage from the Argonautica - and certainly didn't remember it so thank you very much for bringing it to my attention!
That said, what I've come to understand, both about Hyacinthus and about Asclepius is that in the accounts of their deaths, Apollo's position is startlingly clear.
For Hyacinthus, it is established time and again that Apollo would have sacrificed everything for him - his status, his power, his very own immortality and divinity. Ovid writes that Apollo would have installed him as a god if only he had the time:
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(Ovid. Metamorphoses. Book X. trans. Johnston)
Many other writers too speak of how Apollo abandoned his lyre and his seat at Delphi to spend his days with Hyacinthus, but they also all agree that when it came to his death - he was powerless. Ovid gives that graphic account of Apollo's desperation as he tries all his healing arts to save him to no avail:
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book X. Apollo me boy, methinks him dead. trans Johnston)
Bion, in one of his fragments, writes that Apollo was "dumb" upon seeing Hyacinthus' agony:
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(Bion, The Bucolic Poets. Fragment XI. trans Edmonds)
Even Nonnus in the Dionysiaca speaks constantly of Apollo's helplessness in the face of Hyacinthus' fate where he writes that the god still shivers if a westward wind blows upon an iris:
and when Zephyros breathed through the flowery garden, Apollo turned a quick eye upon his young darling, his yearning never satisfied; if he saw the plant beaten by the breezes, he remembered the quoit, and trembled for fear the wind, so jealous once about the boy, might hate him even in a leaf...
(Nonnus, Dionysiaca, Book 3. trans Rouse)
And the point here is just that - Apollo, at least as far as I've read, cannot avert someone's death. He simply can't. Once they're already dead - once Fate has cut their string - all Apollo's power is gone and he can do nothing no matter how much he wants to. And this is, as far as I know, supported with the accounts of Asclepius as well!
Since you specifically brought up Ovid's account, I'll also stick only to Ovid's account but in Metamorphoses when we get Ovid's version of Coronis' demise, he writes that Apollo intensely and immediately regrets slaughtering Coronis. He regrets it so intensely that he, like he does with Hyacinthus, does his best to resuscitate her:
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo's regret)
And like Hyacinthus, when it becomes clear that what has happened cannot be undone, Apollo wails:
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo wept.)
Unlike his mother, Asclepius in her womb had not yet died and so, with the last of Apollo's strength, he does manage, at least, to save him.
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo puts the 'tearing out' in Asclepius.)
But it goes further than even that because Ocyrhoe, Chiron's daughter, a prophetess who unduly gained the ability to directly proclaim the secrets of the Fates, upon seeing the baby Asclepius, immediately prophesies his glory, his inevitable death and then his fated ascension:
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(Ovid. Metamorphoses, Book Two. Ocyrhoe's prophecy. trans Johnston)
Before she too succumbs to her hubris and is transformed by the Fates into a horse so she can no longer speak secrets that aren't hers to share.
These things ultimately are important because it establishes two very important things: 1) Apollo can't do anything in the face of the ultimate Fate of mortals, which is, of course, death and 2) even when Apollo is Actively Devastated, regretful, yearning, mournful, guilty or some unholy combination of all of the above, when someone is dead, he accepts that they are gone. Even if he is devastated by it, even if he'll cry all the rest of his days about it - if they're dead? Apollo lets them go. In Fasti, when Zeus brings Asclepius back, he does not say Apollo asked him to - Zeus, or well, in this case Jove, brings Asclepius back because he wants Apollo to stop being mad at him.
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(Ovid, Fasti VI. Apollo please come home your father misses you. trans. A.S Kline)
Even Boyle's translation which you used above in your findings hints that Zeus made Asclepius a god because he wanted Apollo to stop grieving. (i.e 'smile at your father', 'for your sake [he] undoes his prohibitions')
And like, Apollo was deeply upset by Asclepius' death - apart from killing the Cyclops in anger, in book 4 of the Argonautica, Apollonius writes that the Celts believe the stream of Eridanus to be the tears Apollo shed over the death of Asclepius when he left for Hyperborea after being chastised by Zeus for killing his Cyclops:
But the Celts have attached this story to them, that these are the tears of Leto's son, Apollo, that are borne along by the eddies, the countless tears that he shed aforetime when he came to the sacred race of the Hyperboreans and left shining heaven at the chiding of his father, being in wrath concerning his son whom divine Coronis bare in bright Lacereia at the mouth of Amyrus.
It all paints a very clear picture to me. Apollo did not ask for either of them to be brought back. Though bringing them back certainly pleased and delighted him, they are actions of other gods who are moved by Apollo's grief and mourning and seek to mollify him. Him not asking doesn't mean he didn't want them back which I think is a very important distinction by the by, but it simply means that Apollo knows the natural order of things and, even if it hurts, he isn't going to press his luck about it.
Which, of course, brings us to Admetus. And I'm really not going to overcomplicate this, Admetus is different because, very vitally, Admetus is not dead. Apollo can't do a thing once Fate has been carried out and Death has claimed a mortal but you know what he absolutely can do? Bargain like hell with the Fates before that point of inevitability. And that's what he does, ultimately for Admetus and Alcestis. He sought to prolong Admetus' life, not revive him from death or absolve him from death altogether and even after getting the Fates drunk, he's still only able to organise a sacrifice - a life for a life - something completely contingent on whether some other mortal would be willing to die in Admetus' place and not at all controllable by Apollo's own power.
All of these things, I think come back to that point you made - that Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore these people are very special to him if it means he's willing to go against that order but, I also wish to challenge that opinion if you'd let me. Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore, I would argue, that it is even more important that it is shown that he does not break the divine order, especially for the people that mean the most to him. The original context of my comments which started this conversation were on this lovely, lovely post by @hyacinthusmemorial which contemplated upon Asclepius from the perspective of an Emergency Medical personnel and included, in their tags, the very poignant lines "there's something about Apollo letting go when Asclepius couldn't that eats my heart away" and "you do what you can, you do your best, but you don't ever reach too far" and I think that's perfectly embodied with the Apollo-Asclepius dichotomy. Apollo grieves. He wails, he cries, he does his best each and every time to save that which is precious to him but he does not curse their nature, he does not resent that they are human and ultimately, he accepts that that which is mortal must inevitably die. There is nothing that so saliently proves that those who uphold rules are also their most staunch followers - if Apollo wants to delight in his place as Fate's mouthpiece, he cannot undo Fate. And, if even the god of healing and order himself cannot undo death, what right does Asclepius, mortal as he is, talented as he is, have to disrespect it?
The beauty of these stories isn't that Apollo loved them enough to bring them back. The beauty is that Apollo loved them enough to let them go.
#this is such a long ass post oh my god#ginger answers asks#This totally got away from me but I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS AAAA#Anon beloved anon I hope you don't take this as me shutting you down or anything because that really isn't what I'm trying to do#I'm definitely going to dig more into the exactness of 'who petitioned for Hyacinthus to be revived actually?"#I always stuck to the belief that it was Artemis because of the depictions of his revival + his procession is usually devoid of Apollo#I know some renaissance paintings have him and Apollo reuniting but that's usually In The Heavens y'know#I genuinely couldn't think of any accounts that have Apollo Asking for anyone to be revived#Apollo does intercede sometimes but that's usually for immortals like Prometheus#Or even when he's left to preside over Zagreus' revival and repair in orphic tradition#Concerning Asclepius there's like a ton to talk about tbh#There's the fact that in some writings (in quite a lot actually) the reason Asclepius was killed wasn't necessarily that he brought someone#back - it was that he accepted money for it#Pindar wrote about it and Plato talks about how if Asclepius really did accept gold for a miracle then he was never a son of Apollo#It's a whole thing really#I think it's very important that it's Asclepius in his mortal folly that tests the boundaries of life and death tbh#The romanticisation of going to any length to bring back a loved one is nice and all#But sometimes the kindest and most lovely thing you can do for someone is to accept it#Just accept that they're gone - accept that there was nothing that could be done and even if the grief is heavy - keep living#Maybe we won't all get our lost loves back#But there are definitely always more people worth loving if you just live long enough to find them#apollo#asclepius#zeus#admetus#greek mythology#ovid#oh my god so much ovid#hyacinthus#coronis
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memoriamp4 · 3 months
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I hate that we never heard Astrid tell Hiccup 'I love you'. I was fully expecting her to tell him she loved him back in rtte 6x06 after he told her he loved her... but she didn't. Like they really made an entire episode about Astrid wanting a more lovely dovey relationship but then she never even said 'I love you' in the episode?? And Astrid has so many inspiring and loving speeches to Hiccup but I wish there was an 'I love you' included in at least one of them
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sasukeless · 1 month
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only character close to naruto i can genuinely see sasuke having beef with is kurama and this is mostly because kurama takes control of naruto’s body at random times
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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longagoitwastuesday · 1 month
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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thecatspasta · 9 months
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Nobody: Me (npd haver) when I see a post specifically about NPD: OMGGG ME FR!!!!!
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