#am i mentally unstable because of my parents? yeah. do i want to never talk to them again? no

[straightlightyagami]

frankly not a fan of how therapyspeak and the internet pathologize any relationship (of any type) that is less than perfect. how any solution that is not “immediately break off contact without offering an explanation” (which in some cases may be valid and actually the safest decision! not saying it can’t be) is in itself treated as pathological behavior.

like you have people thinking having to put any effort or having any conflict or experiencing any hardship means it’s toxic. and if it’s toxic it means it’s abusive where one person is the Abused and one is the Abuser (and obviously the person who is asking the question is always the victim), always completely knowingly and intentionally, and all types of abuse are equally bad and equally render the responsible individual completely irredeemable.

[samgirl98]

Mending a Family 11/?

Prev | Next

Jason and Jazz bond, and Dick has a sort-of revelation.

Jason sat by the table after saying goodbye to Roy, Raven, and Lian and putting Danny to bed. After the revelation of Mar’i, the adults had sobered a little, and it had gotten awkward. Thankfully, the kids kept playing though Danny would side-eye Jason every once in a while. His knowing look reminded Jason that Danny was a sixteen-year-old trapped in the body of a five-year-old.

Jazz sat across from him with two cups of tea. She gave one to Jason and asked, “How are you feeling?”

Jason frowned; how was he feeling? A part of him was disappointed, but he understood.

“Jazz, when I came back, I killed people. I hurt Tim. It makes sense that Dick never told me he had a daughter. I’m doing the same thing now with Danny! Besides, nobody in their right mind would let a murderer around their child.”

“Just because you understand and can rationalize it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

Jason smiled softly at her, “What are you, my psychiatrist, now?”

“I don’t have to be a psychiatrist to know this affected you more than you want to let on.”

Jason sighed, “I understand; really, I do. But what pisses me off is that Roy told me that Dick is obsessively looking for me. All of them are. How can they freeze me out of the family, not at least tell me, ‘Hey Jason, you’re an uncle,’ and then call me family and use that as an excuse to hunt me down like a rabid animal?”

Jazz sipped her tea, “I think they’re probably feeling guilty now because they managed to chase you away. From what I’ve heard, they like to be in control.”

Jason snorted, “Yeah, they’re all control freaks that have no issue invading others’ privacy. Starting with Daddy Bats.”

“Do you miss them,” she asked quietly.

“I do,” he answered in the same volume, “but I burned those bridges long ago.”

They stayed in silence for a while.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, but you have become my family. I see how you act around Danny, and I am grateful that you parent and love him the way a parent loves their child. Our parents weren’t the best, so I’m glad Danny will get a second chance at childhood, and it’s all thanks to you.”

Jason smiled, “Well, at least I’m doing right by Danny.”

“You think—you think you’ll ever talk to them again?”

“Not when there’s a chance they’ll take Danny away from me. They see me as unstable, but I won’t ever hurt Danny. I don’t know if I’m a bad parent, but Danny has helped me more than I’ve helped him, and he’s keeping me sane.”

Jazz shrugged, “I’m not precisely sane myself, and as long as you don’t verbally tell Danny he’s the only reason you feel your mental stability is better, then I see no harm in it. It’s bad when a parent puts that pressure on their child. However, I have a feeling you’re saner than you think you are.”

Jazz finished her tea.

“Besides, you can’t be judged by human standards.”

Jason rolled his eyes; he stopped explaining to Danny and Jazz that he was utterly, one hundred percent human.

“Do you really think I’m a good parent?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation.

Jason sighed, “I miss my old family sometimes.”

“You want to talk about them?”

“I can’t talk much about the newer members, but Dick, he’s my oldest brother; he’s huggy, a huge jokester. There’s always a pun or quip coming out of his mouth. He didn’t; well, when I was younger, I thought he hated me. He was always yelling at Bruce, and most of the time, he ignored me, but eventually, he came around.”

“I remember one time he took me train surfing. It was so fun! I was hanging out with my older brother, my predecessor. He also stole Bruce’s car once and took me on a joyride after Bruce had grounded me.”

“There’s also Barbie. She helped me a lot with homework when I was younger. She’s—she’s also the only one that kept contact with me after all the shi—things I did. You remind me of her. She’s kind, same as you. And you both have red hair. She’s crazy smart like you are. The things she can do with computers,” Jason shook his head in disbelief.

“There’s Alfred. He’s like a grandfather to me. He taught me how to cook; he’s the one I miss the most, to be honest. I wouldn’t be surprised if he missed me, too, but he was giving me my space.”

Jason couldn’t bring himself to talk about Bruce. The man had been his father, but he had both disappointed Jason and been disappointed by Jason.

His biggest failure, Jason thought bitterly.

“Mom and dad,” Jazz started, took a deep breath, and continued, “Mom and dad, when they weren’t obsessed with their work, showed how much they cared for us in their way. Mom would make delicious fudge that got devoured quickly. Dad, he would call me his princess.”

“We’d go camping every summer until—until the portal opened. They had always been obsessed with ghosts, but they went into overdrive after the portal. They neglected us; Danny was being hurt. Eventually, it became too much, and Danny started detaching himself from everyone, including his friends, because he didn’t want anyone hurt.”

“I miss them sometimes, but I can never forgive them for what they did. They find out about Danny, and the first thing they do is attack! How could they?!”

Jazz was breathing hard, “How could they? They told us they loved us.”

Jazz started crying. Jason was stunned for a moment, and then he got up. He let Jazz cry on his shoulder.

Two broken people held on to each other. They may have lost an old family, but slowly, they would build a new one.

____

“Daddy!”

Dick opened his arms as his daughter flew into them. Kory floated right beside him and smiled softly at their three-year-old.

“Thanks for letting her stay with me for the week,” Dick said, “I needed this.”

“My pleasure. She wanted to see her daddy, anyway.”

Dick let Mar’i down and watched as she ran to her room.

“How’s the search going,” Kory asked.

Dick’s smile fell. They still hadn’t found any trace of Jason. Alfred was telling them to leave Jason alone and that he’ll contact them when he wants to. Roy stopped talking to Dick altogether, and Bruce was losing his mind.

“It’s not going well. Why, have you found anything?”

“No, sorry, but I haven’t been paying too much attention.”

“That’s okay. Wally and Superman are looking for him. We’ll find him, eventually.”

Mar’i decided to come out at that moment.

“Daddy, daddy, can we go see Grandpa Bruce,” she lisped, “and Uncles Timmy and Damian and aunties Cassie and Steph? Will Uncle Duke be there with the pretty lights?”

Dick felt a ping in his chest. His daughter hadn’t mentioned Jason. She had never met him, and Dick couldn’t help but feel guilty.  Would Jason have stayed if the family had tried to integrate him more? Was it because of them that he left?

That bothered Dick, questions. He wanted, needed to know why Jason left instead of coming to them.

Because you shut the door, his mind supplied.

It was right.

@idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon

[officalroyalsofpierreland]

Charity Gala In Honor of The Nuptials Of Prince Oliver Of Scots & Madame Hortense Of Francesim BTS

Magdalena [under her breath]: No…it can’t be… Maria Aisha [whispering]: What’s wrong Maggie? Magdalena [stammering]: I…I think that’s Magnus… Maria Aisha [looking around]: Where? Is he- Magdalena: Don’t look right at him Aisha…he’s the redhead laughing… Maria Aisha: He is from Scots no? Maybe he’s a friend of Oliver’s or a son of a friend of Uncle Alex?

Magdalena: Shit he’s looking right at us…[whispering even lower] He said he was going to his cousin’s wedding….he never told me he was royalty… Maria Aisha: Let’s be honest [looks at him, sizing him up] you never told him either- Magdalena [sighing]: Don’t look right at him…he’ll figure out we’re talking about him. Maria Aisha: I doubt it…guys are dense- Magdalena: He’s not most guys…he’s like Oliver, very perceptive aaaaaaannnnnndd looks like your parents are done talking to Oliver and Hortense. We should- Maria Aisha: Get you some air! Oli and Hortense will get it.

Maria Aisha: Gotta hand it to you Maggie…he’s hot. Magdalena: Maria Aisha. [whispering] He’s right there! Magnus [under his breath]: Magdalena? That is Magdalena! Maria Aisha[innocently]:And? Magdalena [rolls her eyes and sighs]: dear watcher….

Maria Aisha: Holy shit…so he doesn’t know- Magdalena: yep. Maria Aisha: And you didn’t know? Magdalena: yep…I royally fucked this up, didn’t I?

Maria Aisha: I mean…maybe? What do you define as a royal fuck up cause [jokes] I think there are levels? Magdalena: Watcher damnit.. Maria Aisha: I mean…you said this guy is perceptive. You probably both had your reasons. So maybe you both need to talk about it?

Magdalena: I guess so…but how do I go about it? “hey, yeah I’m a princess…didn’t want to tell you cause I’ve been used and traumatized by people for my title” Let’s just make me sound mentally unstable. Maria Aisha: I mean…you shouldn’t say it like that…but you should tell him you are scared.

Magdalena: Easier said than done. Maria Aisha: Well…are you willing to let him in? Into the messy part of your life? Magdalena: I mean…..I think so…[sighing] there’s a lot of feelings going on right now Aisha…

Maria Aisha: Well, I think you should tell him. From what you tell me, you two are close and besides, I’ve heard vulnerability is something mature guys find attractive…but what do I know! Only examples I have are from Louis and Henri and they are not successful [Magdalena busts out laughing]

Later that evening

Magnus: Well…fancy seeing you here. Magdalena: yep…a bit of a shock to the system. Magnus: You’re telling me

Magdalena: I..I won’t apologize for not telling you. I had my reasons… Magnus: Like?

Magnus: Cause…to find out this way…it makes me wonder if you were ever going to tell me? Magdalena: eventually��just…not this soon.

Magnus: We’ve known each other for almost a full year Magdalena…this is a big thing to hide… Magdalena: You never said anything either you know! [takes a deep breath] Sorry…that was rude.. Magnus:  no no no…I deserve that…I did the same thing…

Magnus: I…didn’t tell you cause, I don’t like telling people about my title…it just gets awkward…having to explain how you’re royal, who you’re related to and all that stuff…I just... I’ve felt more and more like myself with you. Because I knew you weren’t after me for a title or…trying to get close to Oliver…

Magdalena: I…I feel the same way. I feel so open with you. The freest I’ve been in a while. The reason I didn’t tell you was..[Magdalena takes a deep breath] people have used me for their own…selfish purposes and a lot of them were quite harmful…so I wanted to make sure that you weren’t going to be one of those people…that’s the whole reason I’m in Pierreland was to get away from all the…wreckage…so to find someone so caring and so honest it…it scared me because if you knew…I was worried you’d run. Magnus: I would never run Magdalena. Never. You know that is not who I am. Magdalena: I know…I’ve been…counseled to have told you earlier…I just…hope you won’t hold this against me.

Magnus: It would be very hypocritical of me if I held this against you. I just hope…this doesn’t change anything about how you feel about me. Magdalena: It doesn’t. We are still the same people. Unless

Magnus: Being a Prince doesn’t change me…it’s just another fact you know about me. Like how I love my tea with milk and a little bit of sugar. Magdalena [chuckling]: That’s fair. I think we need to reintroduce ourselves. With the titles and all that.

Magdalena: Good evening, I am Princess Magdalena of Lunaria. Magnus: Enceinte Your Royal Highness. I am Prince Magnus of Argyll. I would love to get to know you better. Magdalena: I ‘d love to as well.

@simsroyallegacy

[skyhon]

My dad is going through a psychotic break. He's schizophrenic, but in such deep denial about it that he refuses to believe he is even when he's stable and on his meds.

Apparently he NEVER TOLD his NEW WIFE that he has mental health issues, so this has been wrecking her in ways she never braced herself for. Dude called me of all people to ask to stay over at my place and I immediately knew something was wrong. I called his wife and sure enough he’s hearing voices, accused my stepsister of hitting on him (a lot of his delusions are like this), that his wife is “playing mind games”, and that he is being pickpocketed by both his wife and his stepdaughter and moving his things around.

He is not stable whatsoever and he has always gone through phases of taking his meds and being stable, to getting off them because he feels better thus he’s “actually fine without them”, then backsliding into psychosis, having his partner refuse to stay with him unless he gets help, begin taking his meds again... rinse and repeat.

It's just... Well honestly this just reminds me that there is so much I don't remember when it comes to him, when it comes to being his daughter, and that he has caused me a lot of grief and harm and trauma since I was little because of his refusal to get better. I love him, I do, but to be honest he is one of the main reasons, I think, that I have OSDD. My kid mind couldn’t take having a dad who was so unstable so it fractured.

This is both validating our experiences as a kid and formation of our system AND a horrific realization that there is so much I don’t remember. When his wife asked me about his delusions it was like being handed a note with a list from someone inside but without much memory attached to it except some from my teen years. It’s a certain kind of horror and dread to realize there is so much buried deep that I might have to face later on. Honestly, it makes me have a whole new sort of sympathy towards other systems that have a sudden flood of traumatic memories that absolutely take them out for months at a time. I haven’t experienced that yet but I am way more wary of it now.

Anyway... Yeah. I hope my dad gets the help he needs. Some of us want to try and talk to him and get him to go to the hospital, others want nothing to do with him at all. A lot of us don’t even think of him as our parent, because we went no-contact for 7 years, so those parts formed during that timeframe.

I hope be becomes lucid enough to willingly take his meds.

[stormy333]

World Domination...But for The Better

Okay second to the last of the September Blog Challenge 2K21 my loves. Just a for warning this is probably going to be a bit of a longer post and definitely outside the fall and real life senecios like the others this one is likely going to lean more towards my wine time content. Anyways let’s get into it! 

The forbidden love. We all think these things are just in books, right? At least I did. That was until I met him. He was the kind of deadly you wouldn’t expect. You’re probably curious about the forbidden part, right? I knew him sort of. Okay rewind, for reference I am the daughter of an important couple in the human world. See there's this whole counsel thing with Wolves, Vampires, Lycans, and everyone and my parents are part of that counsel. Actually my father helped launch it and believed in it's purpose (union and equality among the mortals and immortals/supernaturals) that he died for it. Sadly my mother has never forgotten that and though she supports not wanting a war she still holds a grudge. Her husband, my brother's father; Atlas is all for keeping the peace as well but to him they are just "abominations" and he just doesn't want a war. I share the same dreams and feelings as my late father, the dream that one day there wouldn't need to be borders and one day they would not have to fear for their lives and neither would we, that maybe we could make a world together. Which made me an outcast and gave me the extra edge for this path. Anyways it was my sweet sixteen which SUCKED so I took a walk through the woods, and I swear I was in our TURF!!! But I started to feel like someone was watching me, cliché, right? Yeah, someone was following me and it was to my surprise the young alpha himself. Payton. He had been given the throne early as his father had a rare onset of dementia for wolves. My parents and brothers have always found it rather disturbing I love learning everything about the others and talk to them as they are one of us and not freaks of nature. The only reason they even believe in the counsel is they don’t know the humans don’t stand a chance against the others. I on the other hand believe if we actually united then we could all live peacefully, Payton just proved it. My name is Asena Rose Dorin daughter of Lady Willow and the late Sir Alastair Dorin step daughter to  Sir Atlas aka mom and dad the greatest pains in my ass ever. Sorry a lady shouldn’t talk like that. But most call me Lady Rose. 

Back to that night though. It’s not like I've never met Payton or any of the others when they came to the meeting grounds. The meetings were on the palace grounds to give humans an advantage should anything ever go wrong which I thought was stupid, but it helped me a bit because I knew the palace like the back of my hand. Needless to say, I snuck out of my room and spied a lot. I always fancied him. Payton I mean. He had a certain edge to him. He was a few years older and by that I mean when I was fifteen he was just turning twenty-two. But still hadn’t found his mate. Like I said I spied a lot, what can I say I was bored. Back to my sixteenth birthday and the walk. 

I knew I was being followed and being the proper young woman I am I spun around dagger drawn and boldly told the creeper in the woods to show themselves or there would be grave consequences. Honestly, I probably looked ridiculous in the huge dress and the makeup that was most definitely smudged from my minor mental break while trying to loosen the corset of the dress, which the creeper in the woods had to have seen. AND they still wanted to mess with my mentally unstable self? Desperate I thought to myself and then I heard a familiar and arrogant laugh. 

“Payton?”

“Lady Asena” He stepped out of the woods and his gorgeous green eyes were illuminated by the small streak of moonlight coming through the trees. I should mention he knew everyone called me by my middle name but he didn't really care.

“What are you doing here Alpha?” I realized I should probably address him properly so I didn’t get murdered, plus it was only respectful. 

“No need for all the properness Asena. Anyways you can’t honestly believe I would miss your birthday especially your sixteenth.” 

“So, you’ve been here all night? Creepy much?” I will admit I was so happy to see him but also I didn’t even know he ever noticed me except that one time he winked at me like a month ago and I almost DIED!

“I very well couldn’t give you your gift in front of your family Luna.” He just called me Luna? And that smirk it’s his tell. What? I’m confused now.

“What?” I was so confused and now I was standing alone in the woods with a very attractive Werewolf/Man person possible love of my life and looking like a dumbass. All he did was laugh or maybe it was a scoff? Then he got closer to me and handed me a box with my name on it. “What is this?”

“Open it and find out.”  Once I opened the box I knew what he was saying and I finally understood why he had yet to find his mate...

We spent the rest of the night walking and talking and talking and that night turned into every night ritual he’d go for a run, and I would sneak past the guards and out to the lake and we would meet there and talk and just get to know each other. Until one night my brother Alarik followed me. I was the oldest and Alarik was the middle and always striving to impress his father and the counsel in hopes they would skip me and give him the internship. Yes, it was petty, but he was only twelve. I don’t hold grudges. Where was I? Oh yes, he followed me one night. Payton and I had been seeing each other secretly (mostly for my safety, he feared I would be in danger) for about three months when my brother followed me out to the lake. 

This particular night we were enjoying some wine and some snacks under the stars. Proudly and confidently baring the mark of my mate on my collar bone so fresh in fact there was still the tiniest bit of blood on the bites. Little did we know as we were lost in each other that Alarik was watching us. Sneaky little bastard learned from the best. It was only when Payton and I heard a small gasp that we realized someone was there. Naturally, Payton went to investigate, and he found my brother who was enraged.

“Your brother?”

“Al!”

“Don’t you Al ME missy! You’re going to be in so much trouble! Mom and Dad are going to Kill YOU! HIM?!? Really?!”

“You talk a lot of shit for a twelve-year-old.” He joked it off but Payton was worried. Especially now.

“Please don’t. Come on Al.” He was right it was kind of a big deal for me to directly disobey my parents If he ratted anything could happen to me or the Wolves. It could be horrible. Deadly. My heart sunk thinking of it while I pleaded my brother not to tell but he took off and I knew what was coming.

“I’m so sorry Love. I have to go after him.”

I got back to the palace and my parents were waiting for me in my quarters. 

“Mother. Sir Atlas.”  

“Your brother tells us he caught you with the young alpha.” Atlas says it like it’s burning his mouth.

“And you care why? If we want peace among everyone maybe start by not acting like that.”

“Your tone young woman. And those creatures are vile, and we forbid you from seeing him again and UH oh OH MY what is that?!?” She practically screamed as she yanked the top of my dress away from my shoulder. 

And that is when they completely forbid me from seeing my soulmate causing me complete and utter agony. They put guards at my door (Mind you my room is literally the highest room in the palace by my choice because it puts me by the library but still the guards?!? this is some Cinderella shit) if I go anywhere, I must have Fredrick with me or one of my tattle tales. I cannot even get any peace at my Father's grave! So, I devised a plan to escape the guards and finally get to see my mate. I am desperate we haven't seen each other in over a week and I feel as though my soul is dying without him. My plan is to go kiss up to the Lovely Lady and Sir. When I get the guards off my ass I am leaving for good and from there we (Payton and I) will rebuild our counsel doing whatever means needed. A revolution if you will. Maybe even the forbidden love turned world domination (but to make the world better).

[myfuckingpenexploded]

part two of this

realising that advice for how to talk to parents isn't bullshit, your parent has just conditioned you to think that the idea of having boundaries that aren't used against you in every scenario is normal!

Uh, I kind of went a bit off track down here, please proceed with caution

But also some of it is crap! Like no I'm emotionally unstable I have multiple mental illnesses, tf you mean he's having a hard time too?? that man is in his 40s! I'm a kid???? WHat???? How am I the one who isn't absolutely becoming the most mood swingy abusive 'at least I don't hit you' person even if we have the same major trauma?? yeah so horrible your wife died- my mom is dead bro how am I the one who takes care of my brother's mental health and yells at you that if you kill yourself then we'll be orphans??? How come I have to deal with you taking that as 'if you leave we won't have a slave' FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN

YOU ARE A DAD

YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF US

I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T CONSIDER THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE TO PARENT US WITHOUT MY MOM! I'M SORRY YOU HAD CHILDREN??? I'M SORRY YOU DECIDED THAT HAVING TWO MORE WAS A GOOD IDEA! I'M SO FUCKING SORRY THAT I EXIST! BUT THATS THE THING! ALLL OF THOSE THINGS? WERE A CHOICE! A CHOICE HE MADE!

I'M SORRY I DO NOTHING ALL DAY EXCEPT SIT IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN??? THAT MEAL I COOKED? NO THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! ALL HE SEES IS MY FLAWS AND ALL I CAN THINK IS WHAT THE HELL! I'M SORRY I CRY WHEN YOU TELL ME THAT EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT! I'M SORRY THAT I CANT TURN OFF MY EMOTIONS???

OH WHAT'S THAT??? "You're such a brat, you never feel anything do you?" NO SIR! I JUST PHYSICALLY CAN'T CRY UNLESS I REACH BEING STABBED LEVELS OF EMOTIONAL PAIN!

I'M SORRY I DON'T PARENT MY BROTHERS ENOUGH! I'M SORRY I PARENT MY BROTHERS! I'M SORRY I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY BROTHERS! I'M SORRY IM COMFORTiNG MY BROTHERS WHEN THEY CRY!

EVERY SINGLE TIME!

"you don't do your schoolwork"

YOU KNOW WHY??? BECAUSE I'M STUCK IN A CLASS THAT HAS NO ACCOMADATIONS AND MAKES ME DO THE SAME RIGID THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND I JUST WANT IT TO STOP!

I'm sorry I don't want to answer your boring questions! I know the answer! I just don't- nevermind I CANT just write that down! I'm just so done with this. Let me talk for half an hour and I'll tell you more about what we're learning than my teacher ever has! It's just so- I can't

sorry I sound like a brat I fucking hate myself for even posting this, it looks like such interaction bait but no one else will listen to me rant, and god forbid I tell this to my therapist, because then she'll talk to my dad, and then she'll report back saying he seems fine.

that moment when you're sitting down and suddenly realise that no, it's not just that other people's parents are more chill and kind, your dad is just emotionally abusive. Like wow! you mean it was me who was diferent all along? My friends actually have it normal being able to not live in fear of getting blamed for things you didn't even do? or get things thrown at them? this changes everything!

[circulars-reasoning]

Nobody Is Inherently Evil

While this post is tagged syscourse, that does not mean I am looking for an argument. This post can be reblogged by anyone, and is open for debate and educational discussions. It is directed at the community at large as more and more persecutor content comes into play (and as we see the term malicitor being used again).

TL;DR: There is no such thing as a malicitor. There is no such thing an an inherently evil persecutor. Persecutors are part of you, and pretending otherwise is making things worse.

TW: sui ideation, intrusive thoughts, depression, food poisoning and vomit mentions

Let’s begin with this idea of “malicitors.” Simply put, they are alters who “only exist to be hurtful, both to the body and to others.” This, frankly, is bullshit. The idea here is that they have no redeeming value, or that they are inherently just evil for the sake of being evil.

Nobody is inherently evil. That’s not a thing. There is always a reason why someone is shitty. That reason may be related to upbringing, trauma, health - a whole slew of thing could make someone a shitty person. But that doesn’t mean just labeling someone as a shitty person - particularly in the case of an alter - is the right step towards healing.

Alters are you. I’m DID/OSDD, your alters are pieces of you. If you have a seemingly “evil” alter, than the first thing you have to acknowledge is that calling them evil means calling yourself evil. Why would you be doing that? What about their actions is evil?

The claim I see the most is “my persecutors are harming those I love.” And. Yeah? That. Makes perfect sense. Let me tell you about our persecutor, Debra, to shed some light on that.

Debra started out in an odd way. I introjected this idea my friend had started me on: “personify your depression and talk to it.” At first, that’s all it was. But as my depression got worse, and I started realizing I was suicidal, Debra formed. And she was a persecutor through and through.

She told me daily how worthless I was. How useless. How I was just a sick girl pretending to be special so I could feel something, and how the world would be better without me. She purposely did things to make my abusive situation worse. She would purposely do things that would upset my parents, which made the abuse I was facing worse. She pushed away my friends, because “you don’t deserve good people in your life. You’re too worthless to deserve nice things.”

When confronted about why she did this, she always said “You made me. You wanted this. I want this, because I think it’s funny. All I want is for you to die.” And well. On the surface, that sounds like a malicitor, or an “evil persecutor,” right? She just had so much fun being a shitty person that she couldn’t stop.

She’s now reformed. Now, the process in which she became reformed is a lengthy one, involving more things that have gotten me fakeclaimed than I can count. But let’s sum it up here with: there was a lot of symbolic bullshit, she went into dormancy for a few years, ALL my alters went dormant for a few years, and then she came back in college, full force.

But once I was in college, I wasn’t alone anymore. I had a very stubborn friend who dedicated too much time to me and sacrificed her own mental health to get me in a better place. Without her, I don’t think I ever would’ve survived college, and I am eternally grateful for everything she ever did for me. One of the biggest things she did was change Debbie.

Debra continued her normal bullshit - keeping me unstable, making me want to kill myself even more, trying to damage my friendships. But now, she had someone constantly pushing back against her. And here’s the thing. This might not work for every system, but you know what worked for us?

Calling her out on her bullshit.

I am NEVER suggesting that you need to be gentle with your persecutors. Quite the opposite, in fact - sometimes, I believe getting on their level and being a bitch right back is the best method. That’s how it worked for Debra. After Debra lied to my friend specifically to try and get her to hate us, said friend cornered her in a room and forced her to sit through a conversation about respecting our system while Debbie was going through food poisoning. She had to keep running to the bathroom to vomit, before marching herself straight back to my friend for “and another thing, why are you such a bitch?”

It was sheer torture for Debra. She had never had anyone speak to her like that. She had never had anyone turn her words back on her. After all, Debra was perfect, right? But she wasn’t. She never was. Because she was just a part of me that hated myself. And if she was part of me, that just meant… she hated herself too.

After that, things started to turn around. I’m not saying it was perfect - but now, the system as a whole understood what was happening. Anytime she insulted us, we turned around and said “you really feel that way about yourself?” And she would get so mad, because CLEARLY she was talking about us. But she’s part of this system too!! Eventually, she even caused us to split a new alter due to her ramping up her abuse of us. And, well… he went immediately dormant, because she was so horrible.

That really made her realize how horrible she was being, and why. She DID hate herself - she was lashing out and pushing people away because she was scared of confronting that feeling. If she used me (Rice) as her punching bag, then she wasn’t beating up on herself. But now, she could see just how badly she was damaging the system - damaging herself.

She sees us now as a support system. All of us are supporting each other, and that’s so incredible. What she saw as my weaknesses before, she now sees are signs of my strength. The cracks in this support beam show how much work I’ve put in, and she reminds me often how “you’d be an idiot to think you’re weak, stop being an idiot and admit how strong you are.” Notice how she’s still insulting? That’s okay. That’s our dynamic now, and I’ve found that’s what helps me. And if it becomes too much, Numb (our protector) comes in and tells her to cool it. AND SHE LISTENS!

Because now, we’ve recognized she’s a part of us, just as much as she’s recognized we’re part of her. And that’s the kicker; she really changed when she was accepted. No, we didn’t accept her behavior - we just showed her that, regardless of her actions, she’s part of us, and we love ourselves, so she, too, is loved unconditionally. Once she saw that, and once we understood that ourselves, things healed in our system. We grew.

This brings me to my last point. Pretending that any part of you is inherently evil will never help you heal. It will always be damaging to your health. So why are you still doing it? More than likely, it’s because you have yet to work through your shit. And that’s valid - healing doesn’t happen immediately. It takes time. But you need to recognize that spreading the idea that “oh my alter is Just Evil and I cant change that” is not only damaging you, but others. That’s the sort of ideals that led to us hurting Debra in the past. Which led to more insys problems and trauma.

There are no inherently evil alters. Either work through your shit, or keep it private if you’re not ready to work through it yet. Either way, don’t spread this idea that persecutors can just be Evil for Evil’s Sake. Nobody is. And suggesting that they are is going to demonize them, whether you were aiming to or not.

[chaoticornot]

I am almost 2 weeks late, but here is episode 18 from s5 9-1-1. I am so excited, and my hope for something is so high. I also hope they won't get hurt again, please. 

I initially saw nothing wrong with mushrooms in the tea. Like, I thought he was allergic and then realised they were talking about the narcotic. In my defense, in my country, they are a meal if you eat them with some sauce. 

Bobby, what is going on? I am just as confused as Chim and Buck. They couldn't have moved those stones real quick? Now the thing is unstable. So it's not the rocks but the cliff, great. I knew something was going to happen the moment Bobby said he would go down. It's always the ladder truck, isn't it? It's bad, but they are not hurt, so that's good. My poor mentally unstable father-son duo. It wasn't their fault, any of it. "Kid", shut up. 

The smile and the chuckle, aw. I love how they go back and forth. I also love that we know things because they tell each other things because otherwise we would have never known. Maybe that makes no sense but whatever. Oh no, Bobby. She is going to college, yay. Chim, that panic sip was not subtle. Maddie's face, help. I am so happy for her. It also fits perfectly in the schedule. May goes, and Maddie comes back. I will miss seeing more May when she moves away. I am here for meteologist Albert. That makes me so happy. Chris would react the same as Denny, Buck would tell him all about it, and Eddie wants them to please talk about something else. What is going on with Karen? Yeah, I get that. Fair is fair. You don't need to fix it, just talk about it. They are okay, yay. I love this relationship, btw. Like, someone who has decent parents-in-law. Buck, Eddie, Chim, and Maddie can't say the same. I missed this friendship. Go, Maddie. 

The awkward silence. Buck's face and his look at Chim. God help me. I am actually crying. That is hilarious. Lucy, changing the topic, genius. Well, that didn't work. Bobby 100% knows what they are trying to do. Buck!! I was like, oh, he is going to smile because Eddie is his partner and has his back, and then "Until they stick a knife in it." Nevermind. Buck's smile. I love the team dynamic. So the team knows, okay. I love that they joke about it. Oh no, Chim. Apparently, Bobby did not know. Bobby, no, listen to your wife. 

Not Maddie that has to respond. That went better than expected. Buck looks good. Buckley siblings. I am so proud of you. This is better for both of you. Finally. I love Eddie and May's friendship, and I always need more of it. I am sorry, but Eddie's posture reminds me of a guy picking up a girl for a date and who is about to show the bouquet of flowers that he has behind his back. That is a really good speech. I think it got through to Bobby. I also love that Eddie is still 'I don't know how to be vulnerable in front of most people Eddie'. Like, he used Christopher to escape as fast as possible. I am so proud. I am crying. Omg. 

They look so good, shut up. So it's a surprise? I love how they got out of there as fast as possible, haha. Yes, Toni. That sigh of relief when Taylor walked out. Chim and Maddie hopefully getting back together. The first steps were made. I adore Christopher Diaz from the bottom of my heart. I am kind of disappointed we didn't get to hear the vows and stuff. They are also mean for not showing if Buck and Eddie were actually sitting next to each other. Also, where is Christopher in his little suit? They are going on vacation, good for them. I wanted to see the rest of the wedding. I live for details. Firefighter Eddie Diaz, shut the fuck up. I want to scream so loudly. Everyone looks so serious, and Buck is smiling. 

I am so happy, I feel like crying. We are going to have Buck and Eddie working together again. Omg. I am so excited for next season, and I cannot wait. Something is going to happen on that cruise, though.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

The Wrong Way to Put Out Fire

I wanna talk about some details about Touya, Todoroki family and the different situtions Touya and Shouto had.

Touya is introduced us as innocent, nice kid who just wants to enjoy his father.

Thats actually first difference we saw between Touya and Shouto. Sometimes children fond of one of their parents more than other one. For Touya, he was daddy’s boy. Shouto is more like mommmy’s boy. (Even their clothes are parallels. Fire, ice. Daddy, mommy.)

And let me say this;

This marriage was wrong to begin with. Quirk marriage, the fact that Endeavour decided to put his ambitions on his children is wrong.

But as a first born, for Touya, his family was normal. Children dont magically understand what is right or wrong.

He simply saw that he got his father’s attention and it made him really really happy. Training was the bond he had with his father. Touya’s thoughts probably like; I am daddy’s son, my father is really happy when i become more strong etc etc.

Even he realize his family is different from other people, he probably simply thought that it might be different but its their thing. This is why we saw Touya as happy. Touya felt special when he got his father’s all attention.

And Touya saw his mother is okay with it. He probably saw that many times even when father being disrespectfull, mom doesnt seem to mind that much. This is probably why he starts to looks down on his mother too. Its just children dont respect adults who dont respect theirselves. If child think he can get away with it, they would simply do it. Mommy allows daddy to be the boss of the house, mommy allows daddy’s to be disrespectfull to herself so its ok to disrespectfull to mommy too. Thats how children think in those situtions.

What was Shouto’s difference then?

Shouto as last born, he never think his family is normal or this sitution is okay cause when Shouto is born, everyone in family already starts to break down. Mommy wasnt okay at all.

Endeavour put his own ambitions on Touya’s shoulders, he gave him impossible expectations which is literally name of the chapter. Wrong way to put out the fire. Those impossible expectations is abuse, btw.

Everything started cause Endeavour put out fire on wrong place, his family.

And after Touya failed, he was thrown away. Touya probably felt like; his father took him to the highest hill of the building, made him feel special but then threw him down.

Touya started to get the attention he had at first place to the point he started to burn himself over and over again. Look at how terryfying he looks when his brothers were born...

At this point, he understand he is replacable which made him question why was he born at first place.

Of course, Touya wouldnt listen Endeavour when he said ‘there is a life outside of being a hero’ cause Endeavour himself doesnt live his life like that. Children arent stupid, they observe adults’s actions too. Endeavour’s words condract with his actions thats why his words didnt reach out to Touya.

Touya was in a lot of pain to the point his heigh stopped growing (Look how he is shorter than his siblings), burns himself, his hair starts to change probably cause he used his quirk too much, he even starts to pull his hair which is sign of suicide. He was literally small kid who was mentally breaking down and he expressed his pain every way he can do but he was ignored.

Fuyumi-chan didnt understand him. Natsuo-kun doesnt listen him either. (Touya thought Fuyumi-chan didnt understand her cause she is girl but the reason she and Natsuo doesnt understand is they didnt have the same expectation at first place.)

And mommy is at fault too cause she is the one who allowed daddy to raised him like this at first place. She is the one the accepted this marriage, she is responsible too.

For a child, to be understood is very important thing but they didnt get it. He realized his siblings dont understand him. Even though, Touya was so mentally unstable to the point he attack his baby brother, his parents still didnt get him help or didnt specifically take care of him, instead they constantly ignore him. They kept telling him to forget what happenned and look other way.

This is exactly why Touya couldnt hold on something else cause in deep, he knows only way to be seen is prove himself.

For Touya, his mother didnt there for him. His mother allowed this to happen too. This is why his situtions are opposite of Shouto’s.

Touya thought family is normal, his daddy loves him, this is why training was fun.

This is why he end believing everything Endeavour taught him. Even he uses same words, literally in same chapter.

‘I live in different world from others.’

Shouto realized family isnt normal and father is the one who make everyone unhappy. This is why he hated training cause he realized father is forcing him.

For Touya, mother wasnt there for him and ignored his pain.

For Shouto, his mother was there for him, this is why she became his emotional support.

This is also why Shouto tried to protect mom cause Rei at this point was really in pain and she was reaching her breaking point. Mommy is there for me, i love mommy but dad make mommy upset, dad is the bad guy here.

Meanwhile for Touya, he didnt really see his mom as sad, he saw her being okay with sitution, thats why he probably think that the way Endeavour treat her as normal cause she accepted this sitution.

All those opposite situitons made them think opposite way. Not because one is good or bad, its just they had different kind of abuse. (Also hair symbolism is nice parallel too).

Though despite opposite situtions, they were also similar too. They were so cold child soldiers who only think about getting revenge from father, just opposite way cause Shouto has.

Touya waited his father to come forest to watch him but Endeavıur didnt come until Touya was burn to death.

Touya’s death wasnt just an accident but its both also suicide and murder. Touya was suicidal, he kept burning himself but parents didnt look at him and Endeavour is the one who push him this mental state. Even Touya says himsef;

 ‘After all, the only  thing he taught me was how to turn up the heat’

Touya had to burn and reborn to get daddy’s attention again but even after his death, he was hardly mentioned by his family. I mean if Dabi never become a villain, they wouldnt even discuss this case as family.

And i honestly dislike how Todoroki handle this sitution.

Rei says everyone is responsible but Shouto, Fuyumi and Natsuo were children, its not their fault. Rei is at fault for not being there for Touya and Endeavour is the most at fault for making Touya mentally unstable. I hate how children carry the mistakes of Endeavour, it wasn their fault.

And with their talk, they made it sound like Shouto is better than Touya cause look, he became a hero and he forgave them!

I mean, Shouto didnt have much choice cause Endeavour forced him to be a hero. Even Endeavour wasnt there, Shouto had emotional support (mom) and inspiration (allmight) to be hero, he also has strong qurik so no wonder he can be hero, you know. But Touya didnt have any of it. He didnt have emotional support, inspiration to be better or strong quirk.

Not even need to mention how both Early-Shouto and Dabi obsess with revenge, cold child soldiers who dont pay attention to people around them. Just Shouto was in better environment and then he met Deku and he started to heal.

Even Shouto saw himself in Dabi, how he could be like him but he was lucky to be saved. Even their wound smbolically shows their pain. For Shouto, it was boiling water but for Touya, it was very strong fire that will burn him to dush.

Yeah, Dabi is villain but even so. To Deku, Shigaraki is completely stranger but he still thoguht that he needs to be saved. Meanwhile, Todoroki family knew what happenned to Touya. They are personally involved with him but i found it weird it how they didnt mention about ‘saving him’.

I mean maybe thats what they will try eventually but still....i think heroes are good, villains are bad sitution contnues even in this sitution cause they say Dabi is the one who needs to be stopped and Endeavour is the one who take a hand.

Shouto needs to offer that hand to Dabi, not Endeavour cause the one who needs to be saved is Dabi/Touya, not Endeavour. 

Not to mention how Best Jeanist and Hawks coldy listen sitution.

I guess, even after this, they still dont really look at Dabi’s pain cause if they saw it, at least they would talk about helping him more than stopping him...what a tragedy.

Touya, after everything he had been through is still ignored, even by his own family, remind me of Tenko’s sitution :’))).

[cosmiclatte28]

minors do not read (heavy rage, more sinful than smut) not a fanfic (please, its really me raging like the world is ending. its embarrassing but it kinda calms me down 1%)

When I decided to stand up, dust myself off, and take another step... life just directly throw a big ass lemon on my face.

WARNING : THE WORDS BELOW THIS LINE ARE STRONG, FULL OF RAGE, CURSES AND YOU NEVER SEE THIS SIDE OF ME BEFORE. SO, if you're a minor, you never read some rage message, never want to see me as a monster, pass over this post thank you so much. no one has to read this, i'm just screaming to the world

I want to cry :) but I know it's not gonna solve anything

I am tired. Why am I knocked down back to the ground just after I convince myself things will be okay

I'm so mentally confused, afraid, exhausted, and tired.

Give me something to hold on. Inject me happiness, whatever.

I'll be away again. I am so sorry why am I so unstable like this.

I want to end everything, but again it's just a "small unfortunate bad day" said people

f you universe. you won, i'm tired. I'll just sit down here and watch as I realize just how bad my decisions are to stop but I am exhausted.

I WANT TO THROW A WATERMELON TO THE GROUND

I WANT TO SQUISH A FLUFFY BALL OF CAT

I WANT TO BITE A HAND

I WANT TO BURN MYSELF :)) NO NOT ROAST, BURN

FUUUUUMMMMM i hate my unstable emotion what is this. DO I HAVE A DOUBLE PERSONALITY?

should i call the mental help line? should i start making appointments? is this my breaking point?

I still have lots to do tonight but I'm just so close to fuck everything and just well be a disappointment 🤐

THIS IS A RAGE POST. IT'S MY RAGE. MY FRUSTRATION OF TODAY AND MY REGRET OF TOMORROW

fuck me like literally and figuratively

on my way to just go make hinge tinder and find guys

i don't care anymore

don't be like me. i'm a bad example

how am i expected to survive in life if something like today just made me overwhelmed

a lot of things make me overwhelmed eew what's this

who is this weak girl. the real me? eew :) let's keep on being fake strong . keep the weak girl aside..

and tonight as you still have to sit and meet people and talk. don't break down there, don't rage there and don't get mad at innocent people.

shut the lips. distract your mind or well at least think of nothing. keep acting and don't let anyone know.

LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE AM I HEARING TONIGHT HM?

will tomorrow be different? IT BETTER BE. FFS I'LL REALLY TURN CRAZY IF TOMORROW IS EVEN WORSE THAN THIS

my keyboard could broke if i continue writing this. ITS FURIOUS ITS SCARY AND I could feel myself disgusted b y me.

i am the storm, i am the monster, i am just another regular human without a perfect life. who has flaws, a lot of rage, a lot of unstable emotions, a lot of bullshit and well a holy virginity thats all. but idk

i want to take a walk but that won't be a great idea seeing how i will doze off in the middle of the road.

my head feels like exploding and no it's not an expression

is my blood pressure rising? or is it too low?

i know my mistakes, i know my sins, i know my secrets and i hate all of that. What's the point of people seeing you as a good stable girl when in reality is you're a total opposite? PUBLIC PLAY . life is prettier with lies right?

I'm scared of what I've become

MINORS AGAIN... SKIP THIS OR WELL JUST IDK unfollow for a while if this scares you.

PLEASE THERE'S MANY TRIGGER HERE. DON'T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO PUT AS THE TW. but don't. It's scary. I don't know where else to put. I want to write it and burn it but i shouldn't play with fire not at this state of mind....

*******************************************************

A great liar. A double personality? Or just a lonely lunatic 🤷‍♀️

My lies in the web is >>>> irl lies. I didn't lie when i meet people irl, but once I am cosmic or someone else ... i'm a totally different person

Gosh i'm a good spy material except for the crybaby part hahahah fuck i keep calling myself crybaby but til now i couldn't cry. Coz my head keeps yelling to me that i shouldn't cry because "crying won't solve any problem"

Can I get all the science part of tumblr and teach me how do I inject happiness but not in form of drugs to this amazingly still clean blood vessels?

Can I get all the optimistic side of tumblr and fuckin block my head from thinking pessimistic thing even for a 1/10000000000 sec

Can I get all the doctors here in tumblr to just check me if my heart is actually still beating with life and not just oxygen and bloods.

Am I still alive or is this heart just trying its best to make me live but not feel alive

I know I shouldn't spend my time being like this. No one knows when your story ends. I've always been that annoying person who says "Life is so short. Enjoy every moment" WELL YEAH NOW I AM ENJOYING MY SUFFERING thanks?

One time i was so happy life really slap hard in the face. NOT EVEN IN THE ASS..COME ON.. IF ITS IN THE ASS I might like it and ask for more.. but well life is bitch

LIVE IS EVIL if you read it from the other direction. Yes once again perspective won

Perspective dang it. Idk i'm tired of existing. I need to stop lying, but once you lie and once you got used to it.... its so hard to stop

Like me ... you slowly become a monster. Who loathe herself for not stopping herself to become a monster

Yes i am your beauty you meet irl in web but once i'm alone and facing life. Well I might be the wicked witch but i'm not gracious or tall enough to be them.. so.. i'm a monster

The one you don't dare to look at night or day. The one who makes you sleep with one eye open..the one who makes you ask your parents to check the closet and under your bed.

I am the monster in your nightmare and I am taking over cosmic as she writes this.

This is not cosmic. She's never like this.

Reach out cosmic, ask for help and see how no one cares because they all got their problems to face. Come back here cosmic, stay with your darkest fears. Feed us with your happiness. Drown yourself in our darkness and close your eyes as you make yourself get used to the loud silence of eye stabbing darkness

The monster inside my soul

[longitudinalwaveme]

Arkham Files: Weather Wizard

Hugo Strange: From the patient files of Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. Patient: Marco “Mark” Mardon, also known as the Weather Wizard. Patient displays symptoms that suggest Borderline Personality Disorder, but I have not had the time to give him a full psychological evaluation. Session One. How are you feeling, Mr. Mardon? 

Weather Wizard: Fine. I guess. Not sure what I’m doing in an insane asylum, though. 

Hugo Strange: I am afraid that the blame for that can be laid at the feet of endless bureaucratic red tape, Mr. Mardon. No one could decide where to house you and the other ‘Rogues’ while Iron Heights Penitentiary is being rebuilt, and so someone, in their endless wisdom, decided to simply send you all to Arkham Asylum, most likely because we are perceived as the logical dumping ground for all costumed criminals. 

Weather Wizard: Oh, okay. Good. I was getting worried that I’d lost my mind without realizing it or something. 

Hugo Strange: So, Mr. Mardon, you call yourself the Weather Wizard. 

Weather Wizard: That’s right. Why? 

Hugo Strange: And you use a device called the Weather Wand in order to manipulate the weather? 

Weather Wizard: That’s also right. Why? 

Hugo Strange: It’s quite an astonishing piece of technology you wield, Mr. Mardon. Did you make it yourself?

Weather Wizard: Me? Make the Weather Wand? (Laughs) I’m not smart enough to do that.

Hugo Strange: So who did invent it, Mr. Mardon?

Weather Wizard: My older brother, Clyde. He was better at science than me. (Pause) Actually, he was better at everything than me. 

Hugo Strange: Clyde Mardon? I remember reading about him in the papers many years ago. From all appearances, he was a very promising young scientist. 

Weather Wizard: Yes, he was. My folks were really proud of him. 

Hugo Strange: What about you, Mr. Mardon? Were you not proud of him? 

Weather Wizard: Of course I was proud of him! Clyde was a genius! (Pause) And I...wasn’t. 

Hugo Strange: Your records indicate that you spent your entire childhood in your brother’s shadow, Mr. Mardon. You could never learn as quickly or jump as high or run as fast as he could, and your parents viewed you as an afterthought at best. He was their golden child, and you? You couldn’t measure up, so you became the scapegoat. Whenever things went wrong, you were the one who got the blame. It would be only natural for you to resent your older brother. 

Weather Wizard: Resent him? (Pause) Yeah, I guess I did. Sometimes I hated him so much that I wished he was dead...but at the same time, I loved him. Clyde...he was the only good thing in my life, you know? He wasn’t like Mamá and Papá. He knew what a screwup I was, but he stuck by me anyway- me, worthless, stupid, pathetic Mark Mardon. It used to make Mamá furious. Clyde was important; he was going places. He couldn’t have his worthless little brother dragging him down for the rest of his life; better just to get rid of me. But he never listened to her. Even after I became a thief, he still didn’t cut ties with me. He said he wanted to help me; that I wasn’t just the worthless waste of space that Mamá and Papá said I was. I didn’t really believe him, but it was...it was nice to know that at least one member of my family didn’t wish that I had never been born. 

Hugo Strange: Your parents told you that they wished you had never been born? 

Weather Wizard: Uh-huh. I don’t remember what exactly led up to it-I think I’d failed an important exam or something like that-but I remember their reaction to whatever it was clear as day. Mamá and I got into a shouting match over whatever it was that I’d screwed up that time, and about a minute in, Mamá looked me dead in the eyes and said “No sé qué te salió mal, pero eres un fracaso, una vergüenza para la familia. ¡Ojalá nunca hubieras nacido!” And then she burst into tears, and Papá grounded me for making her cry. 

Hugo Strange: That is terribly unfortunate, Mr. Mardon. No child should ever have to hear that from their parents. 

Weather Wizard: (Trying to play it cool) It wasn’t that bad, really. I was pretty much used to being insulted by that point. Besides, I still had Clyde. I knew he loved me. Even if he was better than me at everything. 

Hugot Strange: So your relationship with your older brother was more complicated than one might have expected. Fascinating. (Pause) You know, Mr. Mardon, there are rumors that say you killed your brother in order to get the Weather Wand. 

Weather Wizard: Killed him? 

Hugo Strange: Certainly you understand where the rumors come from, Mr. Mardon. An escaped convict, who has lived his entire life in his brother’s shadow up until this point, stumbles into his brother’s isolated lab, only to find that said brother has conveniently dropped dead, having just finished a device that will grant the convict unimaginable power? I have to say that it does sound rather suspicious. 

Weather Wizard: Are you saying that I murdered my brother to get the Weather Wand? 

Hugo Strange: Well, did you, Mr. Mardon? 

Weather Wizard: No! Clyde died of congenital heart failure. The coroner even said so. 

Hugo Strange: And your first instinct upon finding your older brother dead was to steal the Wand he had worked so hard to build? 

Weather Wizard: Well, he wasn’t going to be using it. He was dead; it couldn’t help him anymore. But it could help me. I was so tired of being stupid, lazy, worthlesss Mark Mardon-and being the Weather Wizard meant that I didn’t have to be him anymore. With the Weather Wand, I could finally be someone important! 

Hugo Strange: In other words, you stole the Wand so that you could finally be special, like your older brother had been. 

Weather Wizard: Exactly! Clyde invented the Wand...but I was the one who would use it to master the weather. Oh, Dr. Strange...you have no idea how wonderful it felt to finally be important; to wield the kind of power and know that no one...no one...would ever ignore me again. 

Hugo Strange: And you used this great power to...rob banks and jewelry stores? 

Weather Wizard: What else would I have used it for?��

Hugo Strange: Humanitarian aid comes to mind. Or, if you’re insistent on using the Wand for evil, world domination. You can control the weather, Mr. Mardon! There is virtually no limit to the things you could accomplish! 

Weather Wizard: World domination? Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not smart enough to run the world...and besides, it sounds like way too much work. No, I’m happy to stick to the small-time. Less work that way...and less chance for me to screw things up. 

Hugo Strange: For a man who can bend the weather to his whims, Mr. Mardon, you are disturbingly lacking in both self-confidence and ambition. 

Weather Wizard: You should see me when I’m fighting the Flash. I don’t lack self-confidence then. 

Hugo Strange: Ah, yes, your city’s costumed vigilante. I was wanting to talk about him, actually. What sort of relationship do you have with the Flash, Mr. Mardon? 

Weather Wizard: Adversarial, I guess? He’s always getting in the way of my robberies, and that’s pretty annoying, but I’m not obsessed with him or anything. I’m not, like, gonna go out of my way to get his attention. I happen to like being able to successfully escape with my loot. 

Hugo Strange: And he had no influence on your decision to put on a green leotard and start calling yourself the Weather Wizard? 

Weather Wizard: I don’t think so. I mean, I guess it’s possible that he had some influence on my costume design or something without me realizing it, but I didn’t put on a costume because he wears one. 

Hugo Strange: So you wouldn’t stop being the Weather Wizard if the Flash were no longer around? 

Weather Wizard: Of course not! If I’m not the Weather Wizard, I’m a nobody: stupid, pathetic, worthless, useless Mark Mardon. I’m never going back to that life. Never. (Pause) That being said, I do have to admit that there’s a part of me that hopes that the Flash won’t go away. Crime wouldn’t be half so much fun without him around. 

Hugo Strange: First you say that you would prefer to avoid the Flash if you could; then you say that crimes wouldn’t be half so much fun without him. Which is it, Mr. Mardon? Is he a nuisance, or an enjoyable challenge?  

Weather Wizard: (Long pause) I...I don’t know. 

Hugo Strange: Then allow me to offer my theory, Mr. Mardon. I think you have Borderline Personality Disorder. 

Weather Wizard: I have what? 

Hugo Strange: Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s a mental illness characterized by mood swings, impulsive behavior, feelings of boredom or emptiness, an unstable, distorted self-image, and, perhaps most relevantly to this conversation, unstable interpersonal relationships. Your relationship with your brother was like this-you claim that he was the best thing in your life and that you wished that he was dead-and so, I think, is your relationship with the Flash. When you are in a relatively good mood, he is a fun challenge; when you are more stressed, he is an inconvenience you would prefer to avoid. Either way, he exacerbates your condition. 

Weather Wizard: (Muttering) So my parents were right. I really am a lunatic. Great. 

Hugo Strange: You are not a lunatic, Mr. Mardon. You are a man who needs to learn how to properly manage life with a difficult disease. But don’t worry. I am here to help you. 

[khaleesiofalicante]

bestie do you really think it's funny to make me cry?

OK WHERE DO I START AUJHUJHDSDUJHFV

deep bre-INCOHERENT SCREAMING

That's it. that's all I have to say.

THEY PASSED THE CHILD PROTECTION BILL I'M GONNA BE CRYING IN A CORNER IF ANYONE NEEDS ME

All those shadowhunters who ran back to Idris I hope you starve to death there. have fun!

Anjali is so awesome OH MY GOD I LOVE HER ALREADY

Rafael is THAT kid I see...it suits him so well.

It had been two very long years stuck in this small office room. But every time Alec saw the way David giggled when Lexi called her father Jalapeno poppers or some other equally ridiculous name, Alec knew it was worth all the trouble.

THIS OMG I'M NOT OK

Alec wondered if that’s why so many leaders before him had been awful. It was easy to be a bad leader. But it took effort to be a good one.

This is so true...I'm so proud of him...

Dani...bestie THAT IMMORTALITY CRISIS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME. I know it's gonna happen but I was having a very good day. why do you hurt me in such ways... (I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm mentally unstable after the way I screamed reading)

“Anjali,” Diego sighed. “What have I told you about doors?”

“Knock them down?”

“I said knock on them!” Diego corrected, shaking his head. “Not knock them down!”

I'm in love.

HUHYUHKSDYKFVYUFVYU ALEC'S CONSUL VOICE I'M SCREAMING

SIMON BESTEST!! HIM SORTING THE STUDENTS INTO THESE GROUPS I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! AND ANJALI BESTIE GOOD LUCK AT BEATING THE SEELIES!! (good luck with stealing the weapons)

well, Rafael do you perhaps have a little crush? (Grammarly ik I'm writing in lowercase stfu)

ok ok I know this is pretty sad but every time someone gives Magnus or Alec the "you haven't talked to him yet?" look I start laughing-

ALEC'S SO CLUELESS ABOUT MAX AND DAVID I CANT-

“So, you are just going to leave me here and go to York then?” Max demanded now; all puppy dog eyes. “Like my mom left me at the academy?”

Yeah. He took the news a little too well.

MAX PLAYING THE ADOPTED CARD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Is it because you don’t like me?” Max pouted again. “Like my mom…Who left me all alone.”

“You can’t play the adopted card with me, you lil shit,” Rafael laughed. “I’m adopted too.”

I'M SO IN LOVE LEAVE ME ALONE

AWW MAX SEEING THE INSTITUTE AND IMMEDIATELY GOING "David would love this" ISTG THIS KID I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Weren’t you listening to a podcast on Mayan Civilization during breakfast?” Alec raised an eyebrow.

“Bapak said it’s historically accurate!” Rafe argued.

“Bapak is not that old!” Alec countered.

“Maybe he is,” Max said, analyzing the paintings on the walls. “Maybe you don’t know it.”

“Excuse me, I know how old my husband is,” Alec said indignantly.

“Then where are the receipts dad?” Max asked. “Show us the receipts!”

Where are the receipts, Alec? EXACTLY!

THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE HAS CAUGHT ON TO MAX'S VERY OBVIOUS CRUSH

“I think he likes David,” Rafe whispered.

“Of course he does,” Alec whispered back. Why were they whispering? “David is a sweet boy.”

“No. I think he ‘likes him’ likes him,” Rafael giggled.

Alec looked at his son sharply. “But-He is..Da..They are children!”

“You’ve never heard a childhood crush?” Rafe grinned.

“No, I was too busy…studying,” Alec sniffed.

“That’s not what I heard,” Rafael bit his lip. “I heard you had a thing for boys in motorcycle jackets.”

“Okay that’s it! You are not allowed to hang out at Hotel Dumort anymore,” Alec said.

Really Alec? Studying? REALLY???

MAX AND RAFE RACING TO THE TRAINING ROOM!!!

the reference to the infernal devices...I'M GONNA KILL THE ALREADY DEAD STARKWEATHERS! I'M ABOUT TO DO SOME NECROMANCY SHIT TO BRING THOSE FUCKERS BACK JUST TO KILL THEM SLOWLY

Hugs max it's gonna be ok buddy.

In that moment, Alec remembered all the talks.

He remembered how his mother had lectured Izzy about not going out alone late at night, but she hadn’t said anything to Jace or Alec.

He remembered the way Jem spoken quietly to Mina in soft Mandarin about how people might call her names, but he hadn’t said anything to Kit.

He remembered the way Julian had told Ty to be careful about kissing his boyfriend in public, but he hadn’t said anything to Dru.

I hate this so damn much. I hate it. It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here.

Sorry for that just got really heated for a second there.

NO NOT THE NIGHTMARE. BABY NO

DAVID MY CHILD!! OMG, HE'S GONNA TAKE UP ARCHERY SOMEONE HOLD ME WHILE I CRY!

“This is who you are,” David said, his voice oddly soft now. Softer than usual. “And you’re beautiful.”

Alec blinked at that.

“Blue,” David said quickly. “I meant you’re blue. Uh, yes.”

BESTIE I SAW WHAT YOU SAID THERE. WE ALL DID

Also, alec sitting outside max's room...IM GONNA-

“David is in there,” Alec whispered. “I just wanted to…check…if everything was okay.”

“Alexander, are you spying on our child?” Magnus demanded. “Without me???”

“What? No! I-”

“Move over!” Magnus sank down next to him. “What are they saying? Are they kissing?”

“WHAT? They are not kissing!” Alec said in alarm. “Wait. Are they???”

He couldn’t hear anything now. Alec panicked.

“I haven’t talk to the kids about kissing yet,” Magnus pointed out. “We can’t talk to Max without talking to Rafael first.”

“Wait. Is Rafael kissing people???”

“Rafael is not kissing people,” Rafael replied as he walked past them to the kitchen. “Also, you guys are shit at whispering.”

Alec rolled his eyes at him and turned to Magnus. “It’s stressful enough that we need to talk about racism in the shadow world. Now we need to talk about kissing??”

“And other stuff,” Magnus chuckled.

Alec groaned into Magnus’ shoulder. “By the angel. Fine. We’ll just tell them there is no kissing. Until they are 30.”

“Hypocrite,” Rafael coughed into his hand as he walked back to the table with a bag of chips.

THIS WHOLE SCENE OH MY GOD.

And srsly alec? 30? really? whips out the extract "kissed" from cassie's website According to my files here-

“And David?”

“Yes, sir?”

“The bedroom door stays open from now on.”

David blinked, his cheeks pink. “I…What?”

“Door stays open,” Alec said, lowering his voice, just a register. “Is that understood?”

AYY ALEC DAD MODE YUCDUHDFHFUHJIUHC THIS IS SO AMAZING IM GONNA SCREAM

Alec advising David with the bow is so close to my heart...IDK WHY IT JUST IS

That conversation...PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK I HOPE HUMANS GO EXTINCT BECAUSE I SURE AM READY TO DIE SO LET'S TAKE THE EARTH DOWN-

“Why don’t shadowhunters have acne?”

"What?" Alec blinked.

“Their skin is like so freaking perfect and smooth and they can just freaking go through puberty without a one freaking pimple and don’t even get me started on the freaking dimples and then-”

Magnus started laughing. Alec felt a little confused.

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS !!!!! THAT DAMN ANGEL BLOOD

That part about how we normalize these little things which are actually hurtful...I didn't realize that. I guess we really do, huh? This just made me want to be more careful with others and if I feel others do this with me, to stop them and correct them.

I loved this chapter so much. You're such a great writer.

I wanted to share something of my own now!! I FINALLY GOT MY COPY FOR RWARB!!!! I told my parents it was a thriller about how the first son and the prince forge a friendship and discover secrets about the government and the monarchy-

The place I bought it from sent me a very cute bookmark. It's a pride bookmark and it's just my first ever pride merch and I'm close to tears. Let's just say my family isn't the most accepting so this bookmark's really precious to me

Sorry, the quality isn't the best. I was in a hurry. It's almost 4 am now I'm gonna try and sleep (I'm gonna reorganize my bookshelf). See you on Tuesday!!

Thank you so much. I love reading your comments. They are so honest and full of life. You are going to LOVE rwrb. It's such a good book and it's so romantic and raw and perfect. Lmao about your parents. What they don't know can't hurt them ;) And I loooooooooove your bookmark. Be gay. Do crime.

PS -

"It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here."

THIS IS THE MAIN POINT. YOU GOT IT. SO CONGRATS <3

[michipeachiii]

SO and I have hands down had one of the worst days ever. I am going to try to explain this as clearly and calmly as I can but bear with me because this is just fucking ridiculous. 

It’s 12:20pm when SO’s dad calls. He tells us that SO’s mom isn’t feeling well and is having a hard time keeping anything down. He says he wants us on standby just in case we have to take her to the hospital. We say okay. We ask if we’re needed. SO’s dad say not right now because they’re going to call her doctors and get an opinion. 

SO and I were in the middle of cooking when we get this call but don’t feel like we have to rush because we were told not to. 

We get another call about 20 minutes later or so stating that they recommend SO’s mom go to the hospital for eval but SO’s mom is saying that she doesn’t want to go. We say that the only way that’s possible is if she makes an attempt to hydrate but if we can’t get her to keep anything down that we would be taking her to the hospital regardless of whether or not she wanted to go. SO’s parents say that they’d like our company & for us to bring ice. They tell us again that there’s no urgency for us to get there. 

We live about 10 minutes away from their parents. At this point it’s close to 1pm around the time we leave. We try to get a bag of ice but they’re out. I think we end up getting to his parents house maybe around 1:15pm or so, maybe 20-30 minutes after the last call. 

We get to SO’s parents house, go greet his parents and the very first thing SO’s dad says is something along the lines of “About time, she could have died while you got here.” I was confused so I asked if that was a joke and before I could even get an answer SO’s dad accuses SO of not caring about his mother.

It was honestly so confusing and completely out of pocket. We try to ignore it, tend to his mother but SO’s dad keeps going, accusing us of not doing enough for her. At this point I leave the room because I am so taken aback that it actually sets off a panic attack. I was hoping that somehow things would cool down and it would just blow over. 

However I was wrong and after a couple of minutes I can hear SO and his dad’s voices getting louder and I can actually make out/ clearly hear what they’re saying. So I go back into the room to try to break it up. I said something along the lines of “Can you just drop this / I don’t know where this is coming from” And SO’s dad tells me that because I left the room I had no right/no ground to speak on what was going on. 

Like when I tell you this entire situation has me baffled, I am like... baffled. 

Somehow it devolves into SO’s dad calling me sensitive in like a near mocking way. I’m trying to explain that I’m not sensitive, I’m just upset by how things are playing out. I just want them to stop doing this so we can focus on the bigger picture. I get called sensitive again, so I excuse myself again because it’s just not a productive situation, I just feel attacked. SO excuses himself as well. We try to calm down and gather ourselves and try to talk to them after 15-20 minutes. 

SO’s dad then says that SO was more interested in spending time with me than with his own mother. More accusations of us not being invested in her care, not caring about her, me being too sensitive. We tried explaining our side of things and just when it seemed like we could finally put things to rest SO’s dad gets extremely passive aggressive, saying that SO wants to abandon his mom and all this other hurtful shit. His parents tell us to go home and as we’re getting up to leave the both of them say “Yeah you go handle your business” and I just took that as mockery, like they’re implying that we made it seem like what we had to do was more important than caring for SO’s mom when in fact we had cleared our entire day just to be able to stay with them. It was just so nasty. 

So we leave. We call SO’s middle brother, tell him what happened and ask him to check up on them. 

SO and I try to have a productive day despite all this. It was around maybe 4:30pm or so, and SO’s dad calls him just to pick another argument. This time to say that this whole situation is somehow my fault. Saying that I’m trying to wedge myself between his parents, and how SO is picking me over his own family, and just rehashing how we’re not doing enough, etc. Like literally 15 minutes of SO’s dad just shit talking us, saying SO is immature, has no shame, is a disappointment. 

That call ends and we missed another call from them around 6:30 or something and we called back like 20 minutes later. SO accidentally had his phone on silent, it was a complete mistake. SO’s dad says very passive aggressively “Oh so you’re too busy” and asks us if he’s interrupting our plans, just very accusatory. SO’s parents start talking about how I need mental help, how I’m mentally unstable and too sensitive and need to be on medication, how they brought me down here and this is how I repay them, how all I want to do is cause problems, that we’re unreliable, we don’t care, etc. etc. Just stupid bullshit that is wholly untrue. Calling SO immature. Making vague and veiled threats about how “he’ll really show us” and he’s the one that gets to say if you’re family and if other people accept you. It was just really nasty and really hostile and we could never get a word in to defend ourselves. 

I still cannot see what we did that was so fucked up that merited any of this treatment? I understand that SO’s dad is probably under extreme stress, but his excuse is that he says hurtful things when he’s upset but I quite honestly do not give a single fucking shit? You can’t call us immature but say all these hurtful, uncalled for things because “you’re mad”. Like it’s immature to just spout the first thing that comes to your mind when you’re angry. 

Like I cannot explain the hurt that I feel on so many levels. SO and I have been there so many days and so many times and to so many doctors visits and helping them clean the house and do laundry and running multiple errands, all while ignoring our needs and responsibilities. Like I genuinely do not understand this situation at all, I don’t understand where we fucked up, I don’t understand how we deserve any of this. There was no warning for any of this, apparently SO’s dad didn’t like the perceived tone of SO’s voice on the phone, that’s what supposedly set him off but I fail to see what that has to do with my mental health or stability or me moving down here to begin with, or what it has to do with me being part of the family, or it being reiterated many times that I’m an outsider and a third party. 

I don’t know how you move past this. I don’t know how you forgive this. I don’t know how you mend this situation. Out of all the times to start this shit, he picks a time that’s critical and sensitive, and really not the right time for this. And SO’s dad told us that he doesn’t want our help anymore, that he’ll just have to find some random person to help them because it’s clear they can’t count on us anymore. So now we’re in a position where we want to help but they’re not letting us because they somehow think that we don’t want to? And I worry because we do so much for them and now we’re not exactly welcome. 

I’m just at a fucking loss. 

[lilmissbacon]

Why Jelsa is Ridiculously Stupid

Let me start off by saying that the idea of this ship was cute at first, I have nothing against it. In fact I have a few ships myself that have nothing to back them up. I am not making this to convince people to be anti, stop the ship itself, or spread any form of hate what so ever.

But this Jelsa fandom has gone too far. And when I say "jelsa shippers," of course I don't mean ALL of them, just about 80% of them.

In fact, I'm very appreciative of the few jelsa shippers who don't go around harassing others because "jelsa is life."

Also, allow me to correct you in saying that I'm not a jelsa hater, I'm a jelsa loather. There's a difference. Most jelsa haters, hate jelsa for the sake of hating it.

I genuinely hate it.

And don't go commenting about, "how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?" Because you see, that's where you're wrong. I did used to ship it, when I was 11. I was a child, I was new to the internet, I didn't know better. But I do now!

I am writing this so that some who may not know, will now understand why jelsa is bad and because I need to get all of this out of my system. I am slowly dieing inside.

First; I'm gonna go into how all the excuses to ship this are pointless. Next, I'll talk about just how these two would never work out as a couple. Then, will be what the toxicity has done to not just to the ship itself, but to the big four as well. And finally, I'll go into how uncreative the shippers are and just what horrible/stupid things they've done and are still doing.

1) Excuses are Pointless

Excuse #1: They have the same powers.

...Yeah, that's like saying you ship Lavagirl (Sharboy and Lavagirl) and Bolin (LoK) because they can both control lava. That's not a valid reason to ship anyone. There needs to be actual substance and I'll only say that once because that sentence applies to every excuse here.

Excuse #2: They look alike

🤦🤦🤦 First of all: that's also like saying you ship Tiana (Princess and the Frog) and Frozone (The Incredibles) because they're both black. Second of all: no they don't. It may be because I'm an artist so I notice small details, but here's how it is; Jack's hair is white, Elsa's is platinum blonde. Jack has a square chin, Elsa has a round face. Jack is much paler! THEIR EYES AREN'T EVEN THE SAME SHADE OF BLUE!!! Your excuse is null and void. Even so, if characters do look alike, then they're most likely to be related. Especially in animation.

Excuse #3: Jack can teach Elsa to have fun and Elsa can teach Jack to be serious

This clearly proves the point that jelsa shippers don't know these characters. The job of teaching Elsa how to be social and have fun is already taken by Anna. So if anything, Elsa will see Jack as a younger brother. And Jack wouldn't have been chosen to take on such a responsibility of guardianship if he didn't know when to quit. I don't know what it is about playful characters that make people think they're obnoxious. Jack is an immortal teenager with the heart of a child, that's what makes him a good guardian. But he's been alive for over 300 years, he bound to have the mind capacity of an adult and he does know better. He doesn't play when he's in battle, he's dead serious.

Excuse #4: They understand each other because they were both isolated for a long time

I don't know where you come from but people don't really "bond" over their trauma. Infact, if anything, that would make the relationship more unstable. Plus, Elsa isolated herself for 13 years because she was afraid of her powers. Jack was forced into isolation for 300 years! He has never been afraid of his powers and Elsa could still be seen throughout the day by parents and servants. They would never be able understand what the other went through.

Excuse #5: They both have a sister they love

SO WHAT?! At least half of the population have sisters. Simple as that. It's a horrible excuse.

Excuse #6: They both have an enemy in fear

Bruh, almost every fictional character has to deal with their fears, literal or mental. It's not at all unique to these two.

Excuse #7: Jack can teach Elsa to control her powers

She already has control of them by the end of the movie. And even if you mean prier to that, the reason she couldn't control them was because she feared them. I doubt that even if she could see him and if he showed her his powers, she's be irrational, believing that their powers were different.

Excuse #8: William Joyce says he ships it

Really, you're going to base the possibility of a ship because the writer of the 'books' that "inspired" rotg says he likes it. First: the books and movie are not the same worlds. Two: he most likely stated this in order for jelsa shippers to shut up to him about it. And three: his own canon with the books is a mess as it is. With him adding a bunch on random/unnecessary details on twitter that have no relevance or reference in the books. Even if he does ship it, everything that's going on with Jack's character in the books is weird enough as it is. Plus he's physically 14 in the books. I know age doesn't really matter but Elsa would definitely feel weird about dating someone who looks so young when she's currently 24 by the second movie.

Excuse #9: They could've met before the events of rotg

Not a reason to ship them but whatever 🙄 Even if their stories were based in the same world (which it isn't), Elsa never would've believed in fairy tales. Having to grow up so soon and all. She believes in magic, of course, but you need to believe in the individuals themselves in order to see them. Plus it is very clear in rotg that Jamie is Jack's first believer.

Excuse #10: Now that Frozen 2 is out, they are both spirits who followed the memories of their loved ones. They can live forever together!

Once AGAIN, how does this factor to them being a good couple? Plus the title of spirit is different in the Frozen-verse than the Guardian-verse. Guardian-verse; they are un-aging beings who keep the entire world in balance. Frozen-verse; never confirmed to be immortal (especially since 3 out of 5 spirits are inanimate objects), magical things that keep a single forest secure. The only reason the elements needed a fifth spirit was most likely because the one before Elsa died of old age. Plus the idea of Elsa outliving Anna goes against the theme of sisterly love that both movies strive on. This can be changed in fanfiction but I hate how people lie about her mortality for an excuse to ship.

Excuse #11: They're both single

So what? People ship characters who aren't single with other characters all the time. That's not a reason to ship them. Especially since your statement is false because Tooth is Jack's canon love interest.

It is true that jelsa haters will give reasons to not ship that I necessarily don't agree with.

•Like the age gap — Jack has the mental capacity of an adult, as I've said before. He's smart enough to make his own choices.

•Elsa not being immortal — that doesn't mean they can't still date, even if he outlives her. Plus you can change that in fanfiction.

•They come from different studios and will never be canon — Again, this is fanfiction, we can do whatever we want.

•Elsa is independent and shipping her with someone takes her independence away — for one: most of the world is bound to find love at some point in time. I would imagine that Elsa would want to find love like her sister. Two: Mulan, Pocahontas and Jasmine are very independent and they all still ended up with men. Three: she's not that independent to begin with. Independence isn't relationship status, it's your ability to make it on your own and Elsa is clearly, very dependant on Anna and her safety. Which is actually what pushes her to being a bad sister in Frozen 2. In fact it is because they made her more 'independant' in the sequel that Elsa clearly, no longer loves Anna as much as Anna loves her (you can check out Watso Videos' video on YouTube about how Elsa is a bad sister bc I'm not gonna go into it here).

My god that was ALL just part one. This is gonna take forever 😰

2) How they would never work out

For Elsa, she needs someone who is calm and collected. A rock for her to stand on when she's being irrational. Possibly even someone who is very stoic and straight to the point but with enough sense of humor to lighten the mood. And now that I'm thinking about it, Honeymaren fits that description to a tee. I'm not one to push LGBT+ in anyone's face, but I'm not gonna judge ships on characters assumed sexualities either. Even though Honeymaren didn't have much screen time, her personality still showed through and Elsamaren could very well work.

Jack on the other hand needs someone who would be able to keep up with his playful nature as well as be a rock for him to stand on when he's emotional. Tooth is a good suitor even though I don't really ship it myself. Hiccup, Merida and Rapunzel could also fit in this description.

They don't have the ability to be each other's rocks. They can't be stable if they both need someone to keep them so. If they were to date, the relationship would crumble before it even began.

Plus Jack has to be a guardian and there are a lot of fanfics that go into this idea of Jack being the king of Arendalle? First off: I'm fairly certain that you can't marry into royalty to become king. At least in the real world. Second: Jack wouldn't be able to handle that responsibility with him already being a guardian. And he can't just leave guardianship either, it was what he always was and was ment to be. And Elsa has the responsibility of keeping a magical forest in check, she can't leave to become a guardian.

3) The Toxicity

Oh my God! The fanfiction! As I usually say, you can do whatever you want in fanfiction. But if you have to butcher all the characters so much in EVERY fanfic in order to make the ship work, then there's clearly something wrong here! In every fanfic I've ever seen, the characters are so out of character it's insane. Not just Jack and Elsa, every character.

Olaf for example, is practically in love with Jack first meeting, in every fanfic. If he were to actually meet Jack, he would be apprehensive of him.

It's horrifying in not only that, but jelsa shippers will add Rapunzel a lot, just in spite of Jackunzel. They turn Rapunzel into a needy ex-girlfriend of Jack's when in reality, she's a very sweet and kind soul. Even if she and Jack had dated, they would've split on good terms and stayed friends after. There have also been cases where they do the same but with Tooth. Sometimes even both and it's honestly sick.

And let's talk about the sexism as well HAHA! I swear to God, they will rewrite Frozen but where Jack will save Elsa instead of Anna. They write Elsa as a hormonal teenage girl who falls in love with Jack within seconds.

This is from an actual jelsa shipper, my dude. WTF!!! They make Jack super dominant as well as a douche who cheats on Elsa half the time. Jack is not that dominant, he's a very emotional guy. And he'd be the most faithful boyfriend on the planet. He was alone for 300 years! If anything, he'd be clingy but not too clingy because he also understands personal space.

And if you like angsty fanfiction where a character cheats on the other, there are literally no fanfics where Elsa cheats on Jack. As if a woman couldn't possibly cheat. This is very sexist towards men and women and is toxic as hell.

If anything, Elsa would cheat on Jack, she's not exactly trustworthy in keeping promises or being loyal.

I swear, half of the jelsa shippers has never even seen rotg and just go by what they read in others fanfiction.

Jelsa shippers have gotten so bad about this ship that they've low-key harassed people for not shipping it, as well as start shipping wars within the big four fandom. That's the reason the fandom truly shrunk after 2013. I've seen posts about people admitting to leaving the fandom because it got so bad.

4) The Shippers

Jelsa shippers have literally threatened lives, not just to other fans but even to the creators of the movies. Literally threatening them into making the ship canon. They've made patitions to make it canon as if that would work. They've even harassed a lot of recent shippers to Elsamaren because "jelsa is canon."

Oh look at that, they're homophobic too...

...

...

...

... That's great 🙃

Isn't it a bigger sin to love a celestial being though? Therefore the fact that you –as a toxic christian– ship Elsa with a spirit it worse.

THEY'RE DELUSIONAL!!! So many of them have shipped jelsa so long that legit think it's canon!

Not only all that mess but there are literally more jelsa games on the internet then there are Merida games. I'm specifying this for personal reasons (aka Merida is my fave Disney princess)

And let's continue on with what really aggravates me as an artist. Jelsa shippers, stealing artwork, mostly from Jackunzel. This is not just a rumor, it's very much real.

And it doesn't help when all of their actual original fanart is just them taking scenes from Frozen and adding Jack. Then to add more salt on the wound is that almost all the fanfiction is the same, whether it'd be based during Frozen, rotg or in a highschool au.

There's literally nothing original about or going on with this ship, even after Frozen 2 came out, the shippers and fanfiction haven't changed. If anything it made the shippers spike up again.

The only thing that could say is original about jelsa is the frost daughter fanon. Oh boy! What we have to unpack here.

This is something that I recently heard about...

...

I am mortified.

Frost daughters is this little thing that jelsa shippers came up with, believing Jack and Elsa (if they could get pregnant) would have nothing but girls. What's scary about it is they're designs. Like they're trying to be original... But it's not really going great.

Most of them are just young!Elsa copies, some are edits of Elsa with Jack's hair color.

For example:

This is fine, this follows genetrical rules. I'm fine with this.

But what has me low-key petrified are some of the other designs.

Like... WTF IS ALL OF THIS!!! Where are this colors coming from?!! I don't understand 😭 You can see in the screen shots that these are literally titled as daughters of jelsa.

The white haired ones are fine. The ginger is understandable. Got it from Elsa's dad's genes. That's okay. A few are wearing pink? They can wear what ever they want. But wtf I'd going on with Nevada? Why is she black? Jack and Elsa the pastiest of white! And you cannot tell me that she got it from Elsa's mom because this was made BEFORE Frozen 2 and her mother is still white as an adult.

Where tf does the blue and pink hair come from? None of these make sense!

I want to kill myself, just looking at these!

That's gonna be the end of this rant

Now I'll say it again, I really have nothing against the ship itself. I too have casual ships that make no sense. But with ALL the fanfiction and fanart being so unoriginal and most jelsa shippers low-key being dangerous, it's hard for me respect people's opinions about it.

I try, trust me, I do! But it's become so murky in my brain that I can't tell the difference anymore and I'm also just not a fan of Elsa's character in general. And I like ships that actually make sense.

And being that I'm an equalist... it's really hard for me to look at this stuff and not get pissed off. I'm sorry if all of this comes off as aggressive because it kinda is.

I'm just very passionate, okay?

I hope you understand where I'm coming from. None of the pictures I used are mine. And I hope you have a good day?

[ectonurites]

My least favorite type of fic!Tim is when he’s portrayed as depressed/very mentally and emotionally unstable, but also at the same time as someone who is like lauded as being super dangerous/the most skilled or something like that?? Those fics where Tim is chugging caffeine and barely sleeping, but characters are still like “oh I wouldn’t wanna piss off Tim he is Dangerous” and that’s annoying enough but then there are fics that at the same time as that portray him as like on the edge of a breakdown. It’s very irritating even if I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why, it just really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I definitely do think Tim has some issues with depression and stuff, but in fics like those it’s treated more like a quirk sort of instead of a serious issue

LMAOO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT i’m not a fan of that either. I’m apologizing in advance if I sound mean in any of this critique i’m about to give of that fanon version of him. I want to preface this by saying that people can write whatever the hell they want, like, they’re allowed to! And I’m not referencing/calling out any specific works here. Just trends. But I’m gonna bitch about some things I’ve noticed that annoy me, personally. (so again, not saying other people can’t enjoy this stuff! just. not for me)

so like sorry if im mean but this is just me ranting and also this is my blog anyways so:

(nobody take this as an attack on them please because it’s really not)

The problem is a lot of those fics seem to interpret Tim’s behavior in Red Robin (& especially like that last whole arc of his Robin run also by FabNic) as if that’s his normal, rather than the result of a few years of CONSTANT traumatic incidents pushing him to a breaking point (because while all the shit he went through with his Dad, Steph, Kon, Bart, and then Bruce dying was spread out over several years for us as readers, it’s regarded as like within two years in canon! It all happens when he’s 16 and 17. According to the Batman comic right after War Games, Jack was murdered only days after Steph died.

(Batman #634)

That’s a LOT to process for one kid jesus christ) 

I love Red Robin honestly, I do, but it is about Tim at the lowest points in his life. It’s the grand finale of Tim’s story, and everything crumbles, that’s kinda the point! The end leaves him in a position to either rebuild himself or fall apart. It’s all about how he chooses to continue after this point!

(Red Robin #26)

The way he acts and the things he does in that comic should be regarded as such. He can’t live the way he does in Red Robin forever or he will literally burn himself out/become something unrecognizable, like, jesus it’s kinda even acknowledged in the comic when he thinks about what his potential futures would be if he keeps it up like he’s doing:

(Red Robin #25)

He sees himself as dead, as Batman (which he has countless times said he doesn’t want to be and at this point in his history almost every time he’s seen a future he became Batman in he had become a killer), or needing to retire and taking over an Oracle-esque role, likely because he exerted himself too much to continue. 

When you look at him around this same timeframe when he’s not isolating himself/too deep into the mission and is instead working with his friends back on the Titans, you can see that he is starting to heal and work in a more positive direction. He’s choosing to work on coming out of this rough period by being together with his friends who he loves.

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

Not to say that you can’t write about situations in which he doesn’t start to come out of it, but if you are doing so it’s something you should be taking seriously because that’s the idea you want to explore, not just acting like it’s perfectly okay or normal? (And again, there are a lot of works that do explore it in good ways, there’s just also a LOT that don’t)

Like, so much content I see just make any sadness and depression and tendency to over-work himself that’s rooted in his traumas (which! those do have a basis in canon!) into a quirky personality trait rather than a response to trauma. Acting as if he’s always been this way and it’s normal for him. That’s what bothers me. If people want to seriously explore the effects of all these incidents and how that plays into his ability to do his job as a hero, then hell yes do it! But when it all gets brushed off as ‘oh thats just tim, he just doesnt eat or sleep or feel any happiness but like its fine he’s just always been like that’ I feel my blood boil. 

This also often strikes me as related/tied to fanon’s seemingly never-ending quest to make Tim into this victim of so many things he really wasn’t. They make his childhood 10x worse than it actually was (yes he was lonely because he was sent to boarding schools rather than having his parents around, but he was NOT just left home alone all the time as a child. 

(Batman #441)

He snuck away during a school vacation week to follow Bruce one (1) time and to then track down Dick. This is established in his introduction story! PLEASE read Lonely Place of Dying!) and it just... going with those fanon assumptions as being true changes so much of how people characterize him! 

Some people will also (not to call out tim/kon shippers especially because I  literally am also one but) vilify the shit out of Steph and make their relationship out to be some abusive thing rather than just... a messy teen relationship between vigilantes because they had really complicated lives and baggage with one another? Which they both acknowledge they made mistakes in!

(Red Robin #10)

Or people will vilify the shit out of Dick in regards to the situation at the start of Red Robin, or literally just make anyone who Tim ever had a disagreement with out to be the bad guy despite the actual situations always being way more complex and multi-faceted than that.

And then on top of all that, aside from making him into this ‘im broken 24/7 and not doing anything to fix it also everyone around me is terrible to me’ type of character, because he’s a lot of people’s favorite, they also want him to be as cool and strong as he is at his high points. So they’re projecting all this stuff onto him that makes him what should be a barely functioning person but then also act like that’s fine and he’s able to be a dangerous badass on top of it. 

Like I’m sorry but someone who is going out and actively acting as a vigilante like that which is incredibly physically taxing is NOT surviving on coffee alone and no sleep. That’s literally not possible, he’d fucking collapse. (And like, again, if you want to explore him pushing himself to that point, that’s one thing! but acting like he can manage all of that for more than a few days at a time/maybe while working on one really tough case is nuts!) and like, even canon can be a little guilty of this type of thing particularly since the New 52 (Detective Comics 2016 had more than a few references to him barely sleeping, but at least they also made references to him eating normally/healthily and he wasn’t completely self isolating or anything) (and also that comic had him be so self sacrificial he was ready to die to save everyone and only didn’t die because of Mr.Oz’s interference, he’s definitely not in his best place there) but usually it’s still within some realm of possibility.

Also like. The fanon ‘chugging coffee to survive thing’ just annoys the shit out of me because, like, yes there’s a few moments in canon where he’s under a lot of pressure and pushing himself further than he normally would and had some coffee (one of the only times I can even remember him having it on panel is... oh... during that last Robin arc I just mentioned a little while ago shouldn’t be where you source your normal characterization of him because it’s a very difficult situation that pushes him further than he normally would go! huh!) But the thing is like, people play it off for laughs, or like it’s a normal thing he would do at any time in his life! If you want to explore him pushing himself and using coffee as a crutch, like, there’s ways you can write it that takes it seriously, but almost every time I see it come up in fics it is like a core part of his personality and just ‘oh haha silly tim always with his entire pot of coffee he must chug every morning or he’ll die :^)’ And that bothers the hell out of me. 

In general it’s just... people treat Tim so weird. They want him to be so many different things that he’s shown himself to be at different times for very specific reasons, except they want him to do all of it at the same time which just doesn’t work. A person can’t function like that, and it’s not even close to who he is in canon. 

Again, people can do what they want, and this is just my opinion obviously, but yeah. My two cents on the matter.  Read Lonely Place of Dying, read Young Justice, read his Robin run. Read his comics and get a feel for who he was before all the rest of his trauma, and see how he canonically reacts to it along the way. I know reading comics can be tough for some people but so much stuff just echo chambers and becomes barely recognizable in this fandom and it’s just... a shame when it happens with a character ya love. 

[pi-cat000]

Magnus Archives/BNHA (1)

Fandoms: Crossover between The Magnus Archives & My Hero Academia 

Characters: Jon and Martin (friendship)

Summary:  Jon and Martin are reincarnated  into the BNHA universe after failing to prevent the apocalypse. They compare their quirks to their respective Entities. 

Will probably post on ao3 at some point. 

(Part 2 here)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“They registered my quirk as Veracity you know.”

 “Veracity?”

 “Yes. Quite abstract. I suppose they thought they were being poetic…” Jon mutters, bitterness colouring his tone. He stares out at the playground, watching his age mates run about in a boundless display of youthful energy and innocent excitement.

 From his place on the bench beside him, Martin hums, halfway between sympathetic and thoughtful, “I think it’s a nice name. It softens the edges a bit.”

 “I should have expected it…to have a quirk like this… after we saw what your one did,” he curls his small child hand into a fist, “I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”

 Quirks. The strange and wondrous abilities gifted to people of their new reality. Jon had hoped, when he hadn’t presented with one at the usual age of four, that he would remain quirkless. He had suffered enough with having terrifying abilities in his previous life. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t get his wish.

 Martin reaches out, hesitates, then pats him lightly on the knee, “You’re taking it a lot better than me. At least you didn’t breakdown and spend the night in hospital.”

 “I suppose,” he frowns, glancing sideward, “Though our situations are hardly comparable.”

 Martin’s quirk put any person he touched with both hands into a fog-filed, alternate dimension/temporal pocket. Its similarity to The Lonely had been poorly received by both of them. Especially, considering Jon had been the one to suffer through its first accidental activation. While he had found himself lost and alone in a grey, fog filed, void, a hysterical Martin had been rushed to hospital. There the doctors had had to wait for him to calm down enough that a Quirk specialist could walk him through the process of reversing the effect.

 “You thought you had trapped me for good. Of course, you would take that poorly.”

 The quirk specialist had banally called it ‘Cloud Prison’ like it wasn’t the residue of a primordial fear god leaking into their new reality. Not even six years of a second life could dull the pain and terror that had been their final moments before the apocalypse. To suddenly have such a stark reminder shoved in their faces had shaken them both.

 “I would never have done that to you on purpose,” Martin murmurs, probably drawing the same connection as Jon, “It just happened so suddenly…”

 “Yes, well, I am now painfully aware of how volatile and uncontrollable a quirk can be.”

 Martin winces, “Does it activate every time you ask a question? You can’t control it at all?”

 “It seems to be automatic. If I ask anyone a question they must answer truthfully. There is also a lovely mental component,” He lets his resentment grow, “so I can feel their unease when they answer. I’ll know if the person is trying to fight or when they’re trying to leave out an important detail. It is very similar to…before.”

 He grits his teeth. There were no Entities in this word, aside for the residue that lived in their memories but sometimes that could be just as bad. The last thing his recovering mind needed was a reminder of how he had slowly lost his humanity.

 “I also feel them. The people I trap alone in the fog.” Martin adds and shivers, “It’s horrible.”

 “Yes. It is.”

 They both sit in silence as the light began to fade. 

 Their time at the park is almost done. Soon they would have to return to the foster home they both shared. Jon, being a mentally unstable adult trapped in the body of a child, had been too much for a young single mum who had never wanted children. He barely remembers her leaving him at a local shopping centre being hardly old enough to walk at the time. Martin’s parents had died in a villain attack, because, alongside fantastical powers, this reality was full of brightly coloured Heroes and Villains like they had woken up inside a comic book. Six years in and it still felt too surreal to be real.

 “Well, we don’t have to use our quirks. It’ll just never touch anyone with both hands, and I’ll ask all your questions for you so you won’t have to worry either.”

 Jon scoffs, “You can get away with wearing gloves. No need for anything dramatic.”

 “You know what I mean Jon.”

 “Reo,” he interrupts, “please remember to call me Reo. We already attact more attention than is probably good for us.”

 They weren’t Martin Blackwood and Jonathan Sims anymore. That life was behind them. Here, they were Jiro Shirakumo and Reo Tsukauchi and the sooner they acclimatised to using their new names the better. Maybe, one day, he would even start feeling like ‘Reo’ and ‘Jon’ would fade away like a bad dream.

 “You’re one to talk. We would attract less attention if you would loosen up a bit. I mean, I’m not perfect, but kids don’t talk so formally.”

 “I would rather not suffer through the indignity of dumbing myself down on top of everything, thank you very much.”

 “It’s not that bad. Why are you always so prickly?” Martin pokes him in the shoulder, grinning now, forcing Jon to shuffle away, “Normal kids smile every now and then you know.”

 “I think you enjoy being a ‘normal’ kid a bit too much.” Martin had settled into his second skin with more grace than Jon had. Not that he was trying very hard. 

 A laugh, “Well yeah, I mean, no responsibilities, no nightmare monsters, no conspiracies, no apocalypse. It’s nice.”

 “Oi Jiro!” 

A heavy-set kid, two years their senior, stomps up and glares at them, “you and the weirdo coming or what because I don’t want to miss dinner again,”

 “He has a name you know,” Martin reprimands, smile quickly turning into a stern frown, “Maybe you should try using it.”

 “Tch. Whatever. Mrs Suzuki said to be back by five and I’ll get in trouble if I leave you losers behind, so you better hurry up.” The boy storms away, back to his group of friends, who all look their way and laugh.

 “I don’t remember kids being so mean when I was young the first time around,” Martin complains, standing and brushing himself down, “You would think they’d have better things to do.”

 He shrugs. Child bullies were so far beneath him that he barely registers when they shout insults at him, shove him into walls or knock books out of his hand. Not like he didn’t deserve a little hardship after dooming his entire world. Besides, Martin took offence enough for the both of them, getting into plenty of arguments on Jon’s behalf. Of course, now they both had somewhat threatening quirks, their fellow housemates were a lot wearier when it came harassing him.

 “Come on.” He stands as well, “I for one do not want another lecture.”

 “Mrs Suzuki does like to drag them out,” Martin agrees as they trail along behind the older kids.

 Their neighbourhood is full of two-story apartment blocks and tightly packed houses which line the relatively quiet streets. It is only a short ten-minute walk from the park to the share-house and one he is intimately familiar with seeing as his carers force him to take it twice a week for ‘the exercise.’ At least the weather is pleasant here.

  In the fading light of the afternoon Martin’s wispy, cloud-like hair and blue pupilless eyes catch the glow so they are almost orange. Martin’s strange physical features had become more pronounced since his quirk’s activation. Apparently, it was genetic, something a quick glance at the few photos Martin had of his biological family confirmed. This world sported many people with odd features and he just hoped that his own plain appearance, straight black hair and dark eyes, would remain that way. All he wanted was fade into the background and live his second life as peacefully as possible.

...

(Part 2 here): Jon learns more about his truth-quirk and deals with other people learning about his truth-quirk.