#am i lying to myself?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Going to Bettchen. Having a Nickerchen. Straight up schlummering.
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone remember that drawing challenge from a while ago where you would draw your otp or OCs as the go for it nakamura cover??? Yea well I like the second Manga covers pose a lot more so I did that...also it's klapollo <3
#yes i edited that meme on the bottom myself. its how i felt while drawing this. that man makes me angry but hes so prettyyyy#i hate him (i am lying)#initially i was gonna add close ups of all the klav doodles but im a dumbass and merged the layers#so like...yall dont get that ig dhdjdjdjdj#anyways ive been playing Ace Attorney again can you tell??#ace attorney#apollo justice ace attorney#ajaa#aa4#apollo justice fanart#apollo justice#klavier gavin#ace attorney fanart#klapollo#apollo x klavier#klavier x apollo#go for it again nakamura#go for it nakamura#art challenge#?#art#my art#digital art#digital illustration#artists on tumblr#also fun fact i drew most of this while at worl over the last few days
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
i give up
#despite peoples approval it will never be enough i'll always think they're lying#they only say nice things bc they dont really know me#im the one with myself 24/7 i know the disgusting person i am#mine#traumacore#trauma#actuallymentallyill#actuallytraumatized#pink#actuallybpd#actuallyborderline#actuallyneglected#actually neglected#actually bpd#bpd#i hate myself
953 notes
·
View notes
Text
the theerapanyakul kids: how close are you with each other?
loan’s kinnporsche 2nd anniversary: favourite familial relationship: the theerapanyakul kids (insp: ½+½)
#kpanniversary2024#vegas theerapanyakul#macau theerapanyakul#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#tankhun theerapanyakul#kim theerapanyakul#kinn theerapanyakul#kp2anniversary#kpts#kp#loan.blr#loan.gif#loan.kp#yes this is also minor family focused (with a dash of kinnvegas fascination). that is thanks to who i am as a person.#in all honesty kinnvegas and vegasmacau are my fav platonic relationships of the shows. both so scrunchy!#imagine if you will that its macau recounting all the relationships. cause obviously vegas has a much more complicated relationship to him#that macau would perceive. but then again macau prolly sees some of the shit vegas has to shoulder for him.#but to macau vegas will always be his bestest friend.#this post is very deep if you think about it (i say. lying.)#im kidding ofc but i do kinda like the concept. you could argue with certain assessment of mine but generally the categories felt fitting#anyways. this is late but if im correct its allowed and im doing this thing where im being patient with myself.#also this is my second proper gifset and i dont think i get coloring. i vaguely understand what should happen but like.#i dont think i see what i should. i dont get colors. so these are just. idk. hopefully just a tad more vibrant and not too off color.#so. is this good? not really. but im practicing gif making! and i only get confused by ps like once an hour.
423 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just realized another reason I love Hozier’s music. It’s not just that the lyrics are complex, or the music itself is beautiful - it’s that Hozier is a musical liar.
Take Cherry Wine. This is a song about an abusive relationship, told from the perspective of someone very much in love with their abuser. Throughout the song, the narrator describes their lover’s cruelty. Lyrics like “I walk my days on a wire” and “open hand or closed fist would be fine” make the darker aspects of their relationship all too evident. At points, the song suggests that they are defending this relationship to someone else who cares about them (“it looks ugly but it’s clean. Oh mama, don’t fuss over me”) and even the more beautiful and seemingly romantic lines later in the song (“oh but she loves like sleep to the freezing”) have dark undertones (what else is sleep to the freezing but death?) Still, I often come across the song being used in a wholesome, romantic context. A lot of factors contribute to this, but I would argue that this song mainly gets mistaken for a romantic song because of how soft and gentle the music is - it presents as a sweet love song in every way except the lyrics. Even those lyrics are told through the lens of someone defending their broken and abusive relationship, deepening the lie. Our narrator wants to portray this relationship as something dark, yet also immensely beautiful and encompassing. The result is a song about the agony and pleasure of a broken relationship, disguised so well as a love song in every possible way that it gets mistaken for something romantic. (Even if you are aware of the meaning, there is still that deep urge to experience the song as something romantic. Just like the narrator, the listener is drawn in by beauty and the powerful idea of love, so much so that it can blind them to reality.)
Variations of this can be seen in Talk. In this song, the narrator makes their intentions very clear - they are sweet-talking someone in order to hide their own thoughts and desires (“I try to talk refined, for fear that you find out how I’m imagining you”). Despite knowing this, the sheer power of the lyrics (“I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus / when her body was found. / I'd be the choiceless hope in grief / that drove him underground. / I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee / that made him turn around, / and I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice”) overwhelms the listener. We know the speaker is putting on a show. We know they have ulterior motives, and likely don’t even believe what they are saying. But their words are so beautiful that we don’t care. The intense, almost mythic music in the background is so lovely and deep, it makes the lyrics seem genuine, because what lie could sound so astounding and true? In this case, the song about smoke and mirrors and empty talk becomes a love song because the narrator is just that skilled at lying.
Even songs like Too Sweet, sung by a narrator who refuses to be with someone unless they allow their standards to slide, become ‘romantic’ and ‘sweet’ to certain listeners - not because the lyrics are impenetrable, but because so many of Hozier’s narrators are unreliable. His songs spin sweet stories, lies so stunning that listeners are willing to deny what they know in order to experience the beauty of that untruth, the complexity of that space between what is real and what we want to believe.
And isn’t that more true to the experience of being a person, and loving other people, than the simple truths we often see in these types of songs?
#I started quoting ‘talk’ and had to forcibly stop myself from just copy-pasting the entire song#I always fall for those lyrics#I know the singer is lying but I don’t care#they’re too lovely#once more I have lost motivation halfway through an analysis#but I think I got my point across#hozier#Hozier analysis#music analysis#madbard rambles#ugh every time I tag something with ‘analysis’ I feel like such an imposter#hopefully these thoughts are worthwhile?#I have actual essays to write why am I writing analyses for tumblr?
222 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s#how he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many#compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc#Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how they’re the key to getting better rights
585 notes
·
View notes
Text
Enough general kn8 art, time to make everyone look at my weird little ship hello
#kn8#ichikawa reno#i still want to tag him leno help will i ever unlearn this#narumi gen#narureno#outing myself as a weird little freak#pls consider them they are very fun in my head KJSDHFS#Has anyone else ever even thought of them together in any way or am I more delusional than i already know i am#don't look at me I'M SHY ABOUT THEM#i just think narumi being such a little shithead and reno being polite cutie would be sooo funny#also aesthetically they are very pleasing together#which is the initial reason i started shipping them but now everything else is making sense too skdjfhs#manga spoilers ahead but like narumi respecting power and reno getting to use 6 which is the most powerful numbers weapon like??#IT MAKES SENSE#logging off and digging a hole and lying in it now out of fear goodbye
204 notes
·
View notes
Text
listening to a doctor who audio progression like :)
#i will go to 100% jamming out to older versions of the themes. and then deafen myself with things like part 3 track 23 of zagreus. or the#end of nightmare country. it's worth it.#random#this whole chart i am lying on the floor crying too
208 notes
·
View notes
Text
Get in the fucking biograft, Shuriken. (EVANGELION/PHIGHTING!)
(og screenshot’s/cover under text!) Why hello there to my tumblr followers, it’s been a awhile /silly
ANYWAYS!!! Guess who recently finished the EVA franchise minus the rebuilds and has been in a horrible chokehold over it, this anime ruined my life but hey at least its intro theme is nice……
Well, I wanted to draw some stuff for it! All together these pieces took exactly 48 hours and 20 minutes… with the cover-piece taking ~35(?) of those hours. These were… very, VERY time costly safe to say LOL,,, I am super, SUPER proud of how the cover came out though, everything on it was drawn, colored, rendered, edited, whatever, BY HAND stroke by stroke (as you can see below)
The text, the lineart, the shadows, the colors, the snowflakes on the bio and Shuri, EVERYTHING was done by hand, it was horribly time costly but it did come out very, VERY well in the end I would say (fun fact! I also didn’t originally have the textless version of the cover, and I had to trace all of the lineart for bio’s tophalf by just guessing what line when where and what the hell was going on /silly)
this was a very, very hard project to do all together, but it was also a really nice learning experience too, I’m happy i did it that’s for sure :3!
(og screenies + cover)
#its. Done#ho. ly.#FUCK#its finally done#48 hours of work later and I’m FREEEEEEEE (lie) /silly#Eva has been rotting my brain into oblivion recently#I am oh so traumatized and mentally disturbed but man this anime does hold a very special place in my heart#And so does PHIGHTING! which is why this exists /silly#So! About this#This isn’t an au- not really at least. I don’t think I could live with myself if I made this a serious au#I love Eva with all my heart but I feel like it’s just a little too mature to combine with something like phighting LMAO#I don’t want to be the reason why some poor 12 year old finds out about EVA and then is subsequently traumatized for life because an#Artist they like combined the two /j#Okay seriously though yeah! This is really just a fun little “what if” situation- bascially of what characters would be who and how would a#Small bit of the world building work#Other then that I have been trying to avoid putting much thought into it#Credits to my friend Torch for getting me into this hell-show by the way /vsilly#art#artists on tumblr#phighting#digital art#phighting roblox#phighting fanart#phighting art#roblox phighting#phighting!#evangelion fanart#neon genesis evangelion#the end of evangelion#neon genesis fanart
146 notes
·
View notes
Text
It must be hell. A hell you can never escape from. I know because I'm down there too. So if you have time to cry, make those bastards who did this burn in hell. That's the only way to survive it.
THE DEVIL JUDGE (2021) Director Choi Jung-kyu
#creations#gifs#kdrama#kdramas#the devil judge#kang yohan#kim gaon#yoon soohyun#jung sun ah#oh jinjoo#ji sung#kim min jung#jinyoung#park gyu young#kim jae kyung#i am NOT tagging all the rich bitches#these will do#i do not want to look at this any more#so i am just casting it out#otherwise i will keep fiddling and i CANNOT no more scouring through footage im over it im so over it (lying)#wanted to make sure i got my three main besties their own face gifs so shout out to them#ok im out im done im gone#once again the grain was a Choice idk why i keep doing this to myself#i like it i swear#i like thee texturree
216 notes
·
View notes
Text
omi wip
#.🌷 my art#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa#haikyuu!!#I AM SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM#ITS ALWAYS BEEN OMI#lying to myself and saying I’ll draw something new then he happens 🤡
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
We laughed about Megumi falling in love with Yuji quickly.
When it was YUJI ITADORI who tried to seduce him literally as soon as they met.
Like, dude, I know he's drop-dead gorgeous, but you don't need to imitate Rose from Titanic.
#I had this thought a few seconds before going to sleep#and I laughed to myself#my brain hasn't been the same since the 20th#but seriously#why is he lying like that on the benches????#it must be so uncomfortable#imagine how crazy it would be finding out that it was YUJI who fell in love first and is just too good at hiding it#(why am I talking like itfs is canon?)#fushiguro megumi#jjk spoilers#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuji#fushiita#itafushi#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori
851 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just had the intense realization that Alastor, aka the last person in universe that anyone would ever consider to be sentimental or the type to consider his friends family, was the first person to coin the term Found Family in CANON! Legit he was the first to bring up the idea of the Hotel being a family!
YEAH NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT??? I didn't even fully see them as a found family before he brought it up ahah, that line in the song made me think about it harder and be like "Oh wait YEAH they kinda are"
I don't think he was sincere at that moment ("I'm making Charlie believe we are a family so she doesn't feel the need to reconnect with her dad" yk) but it means the idea of them being a family was already somewhere in the back of his head 👀 Alastor is there something you would like to share with the class
#ask#answered#basically this whole song is weird because we KNOW he's not being sincere but the fact those ideas were already planted in his brains 👀#maybe he just had a thought one time like “oh that felt like an argument between siblings” while watching Angel and Charlie#and he kept that in his head for manipulation#but still 👀👀👀 my guy you are starting to see those people as your family arent you#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#am I lying to myself? maybe
199 notes
·
View notes
Text
Drew a spider lily in place of dolls heart
#so it turns out i left the cap halfway off my fav yellow marker for who knows how long#i am so fine and everything is going to be ok <- lying to myself#doll md#md doll#murder drones doll#doll murder drones#murder drones#murder drones fanart#md fanart#grims art#ok so im gonna go sit for a while cuz the marker situation is genuanely upsetting to me?#idk ill be fine i just need some water. ok see you have a lovely day thumbs up
186 notes
·
View notes
Text
the clock is here. all hail.
i forgot to turn antialiasing to the right settings with my pen so it is. the little numbers are chunky. thats life sometimes. just dont zoom in too hard. if i fix it, i wont make a new post abt it ill just edit it on to this one or something [and state that i did so in the post]
prev post with noclock version
and as promised here is also progress pics, harvested from when i sent screenshots to friends as i worked. as a bonus ive also included various layer names and the 5 different names the file went thru. the parts i [very lazily] painted over with dark blue had not been done yet, ergo anything with dark blue over it is just the picture itself so do not regard it
i will now be nice to myself and work on my fanfic and smaller drawings for a while. i will do eye posts sometimes still when i get a slow day and wanna do some peepers for 3 hours, i have collected many eyes [klinger, fr mulcahy, trapper, margaret, charles, hawkeye, bj. ive been busy stealing eyeballs to paint on. theyre all on one document its pretty funny]. i will be doing my best to force the cast into my style so i can do quick stuff.
i also WILL do more paintings of full shots again, but. fellas. ive done 3 back to back full paintings with no other digital art projects in between.
this has been NOT good planning lol
not sure if i should tag everything again so i will just. do so? idk i have not been on tumblr hardcore since like 2018 and have never regularly posted so idk proper etiquette. im gonna leave off characters for this one ig
#mash#mash 4077#mash fanart#mash art#its me im back and i will now go to the countryside for my health for 5 months#nah but really my wrist is fine#i just strained it a lot from doing Too Much Art where my pressure needed to change and then the Hair twice and yeah#now i will go to bed at a reasonable time! [lie]#i forgot how much fun i had writing. rip#also when i decide to pick a big piece again im again welcome to suggestions#i prefer big emotions in the scene or specifically artistic shots#because certain ones can be funny or something but. i gotta stare at that for 20-30 hours#god this one was the worst because the lighting was so good. like u could SEE things#so i couldnt just 'teehee its all hidden' no you can see 100% of them 100% of the time#.my art#sorry to take up the mash tags again. i feel bad esp since its not a HUGE huge huge fanbase so i am diluting the waters more or something#or! i am lying to myself. to shame myself. equally likely.#anyway shoutout to fr mulcahy for giving almost the exact same kind of energy as my grunkle from ireland#its part of the reason i love him so much as a character. reminds me of family lol
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
plot twist....the performance roll was to fake his death and he's just being dramatic!
#i am lying to myself so so hard rn#its just a scam yknow!#dungeons and daddies#dndads s2#dndads#hermie the unworthy#oakworthy#dndads spoilers
302 notes
·
View notes