proud to say that I have never once in my life figured out the whodunit in any crime story I've read or watched. I just let the facts and clues wash over me, absorbing absolutely none of it. I am the audience they think of when they throw in red herrings, in case you've ever wondered "who would fall for this obvious false lead". it's me. I am the idiot viewer/reader. not once has an obviously framed clue revealed anything to me. my head is completely empty when I consume these stories.
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The greatest injustice ever faced is that I almost certainly started the still thriving "clown husbandry" tag on here, but any discussion about it (from a know your meme page to a youtube video with 500k views) says it's a joke of "unknown origin" or credited to this post, likely bouncing off of mine (which was actively circulating at the time with like 30k notes):
This is a tragedy for many reasons, most of all because it wasn't just an offhand joke but actually a direct response to some of the funniest online hate I ever got:
They're erasing the truest history of tumblr: its desperate need to seethe and argue over every obvious joke with more than 10 notes.
anyways here is the canonical pet clown. according to me
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Fucking CRYING IM USING THAT PHRASE FOR EVERYTHING NOW
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kaufmo funny clown moments
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AITA for lying to my dog about food being 'spicy?'
A while back I taught my dog what spicy foods are (by letting her sniff them and saying "Uh oh! Spicy!") and she figured out that it means it'll smell/taste bad and she immediately loses interest. It was initially an accident but it became really handy in getting her to leave food alone if it might hurt her.
Recently though I've started saying "Uh oh! Spicy!" about any food I don't want her to eat. If she's sitting and staring at me eating a regular non-spicy snack and I don't want to share, I'll tell her it's spicy so she'll stop begging for it. She believes me 100% of the time. She does have a 'leave it' command that she obeys as well, but she always acts so sad whenever I tell her to 'leave it' and it's something she wants.
I feel a little bad because she's an older dog (10y/o) and maybe I SHOULD be sharing my snacks with her, but sometimes a man's gotta enjoy his food in peace without a little creature gazing longingly at him the entire time and crying like the world's soggiest beast.
Included is a picture of her making her very best begging face so that everyone can accurately judge how evil I am for lying to her.
What are these acronyms?
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