#am i going to look in the mirror and see nothing ?
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⠀⠀⠀ ─── 𝒜𝐫𝐞 𝒴𝐨𝐮 ℛ𝐞𝐚𝐥
✷ ─── 엔하이픈 WHICH IN . . enha blinded by your LETHAL face card . . ✷ : hyungline!enha x fem!reader . . ✷ : fluff fluffy fluff, smooches, petnames, lowercase intended, tell me if im missing anything!! . . 𝒥AZ 𝒩OTES : I'm too hyper rn, and it's 2 am, atp ima take requests, i need to burn myself out . . DRABBLE + NOT PROOF READ . . 𝒍𝒊𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒚 . .
𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆
you are currently checking yourself out in your body mirror, reapplying lip gloss, and checking to see if you forgot something from your outfit. you finally finished up some mistakes from your outfit, to turn around and see heeseung not so subtly checking you out. "hee, does this necklace go with this bag, or does this one?", you decided to test him to see if he was even listening. "huh?, mhm? yeah, I think that goes with it..", he shamelessly said. he did not care if you caught him in the act of eyeing you. "baby, yk, you're just so pretty..", heeseung got up from the bed and smoothly turned you around by the waist. "seung, not now���", you were cut off by heeseungs smooth, plump lips meeting your cherry lips. after what felt like forever, you heard a beeping sound outside and your phone dinging in your pocket. "seung— let go! I have to go now—", heeseung brought you back in, a more passionate and aggressive kiss, "they can wait."
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐀𝐘
you just had gotten out the shower and is ready to do your skincare.. that's until your boyfriend, jay, came into the bathroom. he was always the clingy type more than you, so you always dreaded (but excitedly), seeing him enter. "hey baby, I was wondering what was taking you so long," he grabbed your chin, making you look towards him, and kissed your forehead. "hii, I'm just doing my skincare!" you smiled at him, then continued what you were doing. after a couple minutes of putting your head down in the sink, you looked up and saw jay. admiring you from head to toe, and when you looked up, his eyes went immediate lovesick. "baby.. yk, do I ever tell you, you're so—" he squished your cheeks and pressed sloppy kisses all over your face. you giggled and smiled nonstop, which just made him have even more cuteness aggression. "jay! stop! let me do my skincare first!" you tried pulling away, but jay just pulled you back in stronger, "hmm.. no!"
𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄
it's currently 8 am, your alarm had just gone off, and you have found yourself stuck in jakes strong hold. you tried many things to get out. you've wiggled, stretched, tried shimmering down. yet nothing worked to get out of jakes hold. "jake.. jake.. let me go...", you tried getting up, just to be pulled back into jakes chest. "5 more minutes", he yawned, putting two arms around you. "YOU SAID THAT 10 MINUTES AGO" it was indeed 10 minutes ago, you looked at the clock and it was 8:10 am. "shhh, baby, don't look at the clock—" he had finally opened his eyes, to nonetheless, see a goddesses face. the way the sun shined against your hair, the glow you had, the magnificent aura. "woah..", seeing jake distracted by who knows what, you had rolled over onto the floor, making a loud thud sound. "OWWWW", that's when jake snapped back to reality.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍
you and sunghoon right now are currently laughing your butt's off, at the park. sunghoon thought it'd be a great idea to have a get away at the most calmest place he knew. the park. not a playground park, a nice grassy, field where kids and their parents, and dog owners came. "yk, this is the nicest place, you've tooken me so far," sunghoon was shocked by your backhanded compliment. "UH— WHAT. HAS OUR LATE NIGHT DATES MEANT NOTHING TO YOU—" that's when he shut up. seeing the sun behind you glow like a misty, cleansing aura. he just sat there on the blanket yall set up. "sunghoon?? hoon?? helloo?," you snapped your fingers at him. "earth to sunghoon?" sunghoon immediately snapped out of it and pulled you for a deep kiss. of course you were shocked but didn't think anything of it, sunghoon was always weird. "damn, you're a goddess for real.."
#⠀⠀⠀♡⠀⠀⠀𝒃𝒆𝒒𝒊𝒕𝒐𝒔⠀ׂ⠀⠀───#ㅤ︵⃨⠀⠀✿⠀ׅ⠀𝓶sg 𝓯rom !! 𝒋𝐚𝐳𝐳𝐲 𖹭︩#jaz finally writing 😦#enhypen#enhypen fanfic#kpop#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#kpop imagines#enhypen fanfiction#lee heeseung#enhypen heeseung#park jay#enhypen jay#sim jake#enhypen jaeyun#park sunghoon#enhypen sunghoon#kim sunoo#enhypen sunoo#yang jungwon#enhypen jungwon#nishimura riki#enhypen ni ki
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Vi NSFW!Alphabet
content warning:: nsfw obviously, not proofread because it’s painful, badly written maybe idk?
AN:: i’ve had 42 hours on cai last week. i am not okay
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she’s the sweetest. it’s like all of her tough girl walls are crumbling and she becomes a literal teddy bear. cuddling and talking is a must, a shower if you’re up for it.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ on herself she likes her arms the most, it’s a simple decision. it’s the strongest part of her body. she’ll stand in front of the mirror and just flex with a shit eating grin. also loves the way her muscles and veins pop out when she’s fingering you.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ on you- and i’ve already talked about this- she loves your thighs and ass. could not pick one or the other, they come as a package. she’ll kiss, bite and lick your thighs every time she goes down on you. and if you wear clothes that accentuate your curves? get ready to get your ass slapped every time she walks by you.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ i don’t think she’s a squirter. not matter how many times you try, how much water she drinks or the position- she just won’t. which is totally normal!! she does get really wet really easily though.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she would really like it if you got a tattoo specifically for her. maybe her name or a few of those cogs she has herself. not so everyone could see it and know you’re hers, nuh uh- she’d want it to be somewhere hidden, like on your ribcage or low on your hips. just for her to see and know about it.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she definitely missed out on a lot of things when she was younger, maybe had a few hookups or a prison wife along the way. she might stumble around, not really knowing what to do- but what she lacks in experience she makes up with enthusiasm.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ either something where she can see your face or see your ass, depends on what you want more in the moment. ideally though? cowgirl in front of a mirror so she can look at both of her those things.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ it all depends on the mood. you were play fighting and it turned into fucking? she’s giggling and throwing jokes left & right. you were away for some time and she finally gets to touch you? there isn’t a single word coming out of her mouth (other than praise maybe) because of how focused she is on making you feel good.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ HAPPY TRAIL.
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she’s not really the one to shave or even trim. she’s got good hygiene and it’s not like hair=dirty or disgusting. the hair is a darker than the one on her head, obviously, but it still has that fuchsia undertone.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ very, very romantic. it one of her ways to show you just how much she loves you, so she tries her best.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she doesn’t really masturbate, which is surprising with how horny she is. if she’s really desperate and you’re away or not in the mood, she’ll just rub one out- nothing else.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she’s not really that kinky… she does like to manhandle you a bit more than she would like to admit. it’s just the way she can turn you into putty (and that you trust her enough to do it) that gets her going.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ anywhere in your home. she isn’t really into the idea of getting intimate outside of her own space.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ everything and anything about you. just the idea that she���s the one making you feel this good, pulling those sounds out of you, that you trust and love her enough to do those things- it’s the best she could ask for. her goal in life is to make you happy and she will achieve it.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she hates the idea of doing something to intentionally cause you pain. she hurt enough people in her life- she’s not gonna do it to you, even if you beg.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she’s getting the ‘best carpet muncher’ award, no questions asked. she loves to give, doesn’t mind receiving. she gets messy with it- i’m talking kissing, licking and even slurping. if you’re up for it she’ll even properly fuck you with her tongue.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she’ll give you whatever you want and she’ll give it good. to her it’s all about pleasing you, so her needs and wants go to the back of her mind.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ sure, why not? if any of you feel the need but don’t exactly have the time, she’s more than fine with it. she does like to take her time though, so they’re not more usual than normal sex
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ experiment- yes. take risks- ehh, not really. she doesn’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable by accident, so usually she’ll stick to what she knows. but if you want to try something she’s more than willing.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ do i even need to say anything? she can go at it until your legs are shaking, your face is stained with tears and there are no legible thought in your head. she herself doesn’t last very long. she was deprived of that kind of touch for so long that she can cum from the simplest things.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she has a strap and she will not let you use it on her. she just doesn’t find that comfortable. maybe has a small bullet vibrator she received as a gag gift or bought out of curiosity- it’s for both you and her.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ oh my fucking god she’s such a tease. literally the book definition. loves to hear you beg and to see your hips chasing after her touch. but if you try to do the same to her? oh- she’s blushing and shying away from you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ usually she tries to hold back her noises but does a shitty job at it. and when the strap comes in? she’s whining like she’s actually fucking you with her dick
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ in my head she is not a sub i’m so sorry guys. i just can’t see it. at all. she’s a switch leaning dom at best.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ she is strapped the fuck up, you cannot convince me otherwise. but i feel like she would wait and buy the strap once she’s actually with you, just so you could pick exactly what you wanted. she chose the color though- it matches her hair.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ very high, but in a giving way, not receiving. she can do it all day, every day. not even letting you get out of bed.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
⇢ ˗ˏˋ it all depends on the day. sometimes she’ll fall asleep right after taking care of you, sometimes she’ll stay up for hours cuddling and pillow talking with you.
i’m a virgin
#lesbian#wlw#violet arcane x reader#vi arcane smut#vi arcane#arcane smut#arcane x reader#violet arcane#vi arcane x reader#vi arcane fluff#vi arcane imagine#violet x reader#vi x reader#vi x reader smut#arcane
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The Chosen One
Part 5
Writer's Note: We will have a few more parts to this series, and then it's all over for this one! Any suggestions of who, or what you would like to see next, then drop me a line! Sending all the love, as per X
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Mild Taunting/Teasing // Mild Fear // Mild indications of sleeping together (nothing overly descriptive)
Use of She/Her/Lady - Female Pronouns
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
In the days leading up to the wedding, there was little to report. Everything was a-go. Aurelia hadn’t heard anything from her family in response to her letter – she only wished that they had received it. She didn’t see Geta or his brother in recent days either. Instead, she had spent her days reading, painting and learning how to do new hairstyles. She never had thought anything about her hair, apart from scooping it away from her features when completing her laborious tasks.
It had finally arrived. The day of her wedding. She hadn’t slept all night out of fear, anxiousness, and dare she think a bit of excitement? Alba stepped into her room, “Good morning My Lady. I trust you are excited for your big day?”
“Yes Alba, but I am extremely nervous.”
“Please! You have no need to be! Excuse me for saying, but I have known Emperor Geta for a long time, and I have not seen him in such a light before. You bring out the best in him. I hope it will continue.”
Aurelia smirked and blushed into her shoulder. Alba laughed, and made her way to the bathroom to prepare the bride’s bath. A short rap at the door made Aurelia jump, and when she peeped out to see who it was, it was Decimus and Faunus along with 15 other helpers to carry in all the materials and accessories.
“Lady Aurelia, our darling blushing bride. Are you ready for the happiest day of your life?”, asked Decimus.
“Yes, Decimus – I think I am. I must go and prepare myself; I will be out as soon as I can.” Alba followed Aurelia into her bathroom and began the bathing process. The dressers continued to faff in the main hall to organise all materials and ensure everything was good to go.
Bathed in her robe, she entered the main hall where Decimus and Faunus awaited. “Come, come My Lady – we have much to do.” They ushered Aurelia into her dressing room, while Alba waited outside for the dressers and assistants to complete their job.
Some time later, the dressing room door opened and out Aurelia walked. On her feet, a beautiful small heeled gladiator-esque sandal, in gold colour. Her dress draping around her body perfectly, with a slice right up to her high thigh. The bodice tight around her waist, with a laurel leaf belt attached. The sleeves are nipped at the shoulder by gold clasps, leaving her entire arm exposed. The dress was low cut, right down to meet the skirting, with the back mirroring the front. A crimson red shall was draped around her head, fell to her arms gently, and was embroidered with a small ‘A’ and ‘G’.
Her hair was full of tiny braids, along with luscious curls which had been carefully pinned up to show off her face shape and fine décolletage. Her eyes were lightly lined, as well as a fine blush on her cheeks. She radiantly glowed. Alba welled up. She knew Aurelia was beautiful, but something about today just made her look goddess-like.
“My Lady, you are beautiful. How do you feel?”
Aurelia breathed in deeply, “Pretty?” Alba laughed, as did Decimus and Faunus. “Aurelia, let’s get you to your ceremony.”
***
The group made their way down the hall toward the event, and the sweet sound of the lyre became louder. The nerves were at an all time high. The doors were about to open. When they did, Aurelia searched for her family. First row, not there. Second, not there. She started to fret, but then she saw four faces who she adored. Four faces who never let her down in her life. Never. She burnt up, and tears welled in her eyes. They were here. Her family. She was elated.
Zoning back to the task at hand, she focused to the bottom of the hall where her to-be husband. He looked rather special today. He adorned a robe the same colour as Aurelia’s shawl, embroidered with gold detailing. When she reached him, he lifted her shawl off her head to let it rest gently along her back. He smirked down at her, a gesture to which she returned. When she looked behind Geta, she found a grimacing Caracalla seated, with his ginger hair as unruly looking as ever, and an entourage of men and women around him – a scene which was not unfamiliar with the co-Emperor. Dundus sat perched on her little cushion, wearing a little gown and hat, which Aurelia had to admit she thought was pretty cute.
The ceremony began and didn’t last particularly long. Both parties were required to make a statement. Aurelia promised to devote her life to her husband and obey his every word. Geta promised to live a long reign and provide for his wife. In an exchange, they were offered the chance to give one another a gift as a token of their appreciation. Aurelia went first, gifting the Emperor a golden chain to wear around his neck. It was fine, coiled gold and when she reached round to put it on him, she felt an electric shock from the touch of their skin. Geta removed the ring he had on his left pinky finger and placed it on Aurelia’s hand. It had a large green stone in the middle, with metal entwined around the outside – it was beautiful. The final exchange was Aurelia to be crowned. A servant brought forward a cushion with a laurel leaf golden crown lying on it. Geta lifted it off the cushion and brought it toward his new wife’s head. It lay gently upon her, with Geta smoothing her hair that was strewn around it. “Beautiful…” he muttered. Aurelia stared at him with a half-open mouth. What was it about today’s light that made him shine in a particular way? The priest broke their thoughts and announced for everyone to gather in the dining hall for the beginning of the festivities.
Once seated, Aurelia asked Geta, “Emperor, may I pay my family a visit?” He quirked an eyebrow at her, “Wife, today you can do as you wish. Go to them.” She thanked him quietly as she made her way over to her family. They all hugged in a group, sobbing. Her mother started, “Dear, sweet Aurelia. Are you okay? Are they treating you well?”
“Yes, Mater – I can’t say anything so far. It has been grand, however I miss you all terribly. I am hoping when I get to know the Emperor a bit better, I can ask for you to come around more frequent.” The family nod in agreement, knowing too well not to play the dice of the gods for both Aurelia and their own sakes. The family all had a pleasant catch up and laughed over memories from before when a glass clinking caught their attention. Caracalla stood from his seat.
“People. I have an announcement.”
Aurelia looked over at Geta in a bit of horror. What was he going to announce? Geta looked back at her, equally as confused.
“Subjects, I want to wish my brother and wife well. In a bid to celebrate, I wish to part them with a gift. A gift like no other. 100 days of games at the Colosseum! It is to be arranged. Aaaand, to make it even better – fresh blood. We are recruiting new gladiators as we speak! Ohhhh the excitement of it all!”
The room erupted into cheers and clapping. Geta looked quite pleased, he walked over to his brother, they hugged tightly with Geta thanking Caracalla. The brothers began discussing their plans for the games, where your family looked on also with a bit of excitement. “Aurelia, that will be pleasant for us all. We can go to be entertained and still see you from the Royal Balcony!” Aurelia smiled at them in return, but couldn’t help but think Caracalla had something more up his tiny sleeve.
Growing tired, she left her family and made her way back to her seat to find Geta. When he plopped down beside her on the bench, she looked at him, “Husband, I am growing quite tired.” He looked down into her pools of blue, “Okay, let’s leave.” He stood, taking her in his arm when the group erupted into loud cheers and jeers at the newlyweds.
They made their way toward Aurelia’s chambers when Geta stopped in his tracks. “Aurelia, I-” he sighed as he cut himself off. “I do not wish to pressure you. I didn’t even want to bare my lips on yours in front of the others in case it offended you.” Aurelia internally wept in happiness, where had this softness come from? He seemed to callus and cold toward you at other times, and other subjects? Treated like dirt. He began again, “What say you, wife? What do you wish?”
Looking up into his puppy dog eyes, you brought yourself slightly closer to him. “Well, I had a special garment made just for you… that’s only if you would like to see it?” He smirked, dragging Aurelia into her chambers. Stopping in the middle of the hall, he took her face in his hand, her skin was so soft. He looked at her intently, taking in her beauty. She truly was a sight to behold, especially with whatever magic the gods had sprinkled on her today. Aurelia looked to his soft pink lips, to his eyes, and back to his lips. He noticed how his wife stared at him with such intent, “May I? May I kiss you?” Aurelia didn’t answer him, but merely brought her mouth to his and joined their lips in union. The kiss was soft, dare she even say loving? There was no rush, both of them took in the moment and bathed in the beauty of it. Geta broke the kiss, resting his forehead on hers, “So, where is this garment you were so keen on showing me?” he taunted her. She smiled at him and dragged him to her chambers where she forced him down on the bed. He was taken-aback by her rash actions, but it ignited something within him.
“Sit there Sir, and all will soon be revealed…” Aurelia winked at him and turned on her heels to get changed. Once she got into her dressing room, she breathed out deeply. What had come over her? Where did this confidence come from? Taking a deep breath in, she began to change as the show must go on.
Meanwhile, Geta sat perplexed on the bed. What happened to the sheepish girl he married? Was he complaining? No, for strangely, this power dynamic was something that seemed to get Geta’s pulse racing, and the night was only beginning…
Part 6
#emperorgeta#emperor geta#joseph quinn#joseph quinn imagine#emperor geta imagine#emperor geta x reader#marcus acacius#lucius#gladiator 2#fanfic#emperor geta x female reader#gladiator ii#emperor caracalla#caracalla x reader#emperor geta fanfic#fanfiction#geta x reader#joe quinn
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my fav mcr lyrics
“Oh how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying”
“This hole you put me in wasn’t deep enough, and I’m climbing out right now”
“Can you hear me cry out to you words I thought I’d choke on”
“If I’m so wrong, how can you listen all night long?”
“I’m taking back the life you stole”
“And we’ll all dance alone to the tune of your death”
“It’s the tearing sound of love notes drowning out these grey stained windows”
“And after seeing what we saw, can we still reclaim our innocence?”
“You wanna follow something, give me a better cause to lead, just give me what I need, give me a reason to believe”
“You don’t know a thing about my sins, how the misery begins”
“The hardest part is letting go of your dreams”
"Awake and unafraid”
“You said you’d read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed”
“You’re running after something that you’ll never kill, if this is what you want then fire at will”
"You only hear the music when your heart begins to break"
"'Cause all the good times, they give you cancer"
"I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone"
"If u look in the mirror and don't like what u see, you can find out first hand what it's like to be me"
“Do you remember that day when we met, you told me this gets harder? Well it did.”
“I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene.”
“You’ll never take me alive, do what it takes to survive ‘cause I’m still here”
“Life is but a dream for the dead"
“And in the end we’ll fall apart just like the leaves change in colours”
“Don’t go if you’ve got more to say, cause the world don’t need another hopeless cause”
"When I grow up, I want to be nothing at all!"
"You can run away with me, anytime you want"
"You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son"
“I’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets”
“Can I be the only hope for you? 'Cause you're the only hope for me”
“I’m trying. Im trying. To let you know just how much you mean to me.”
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Late Nights Playing in the Dark
“I- I need to empty myself inside you, mein liebling.”
Konig X Black plus size female OC
Authors notes
And no I’m not trying to hear your opinion or views on what weight size is considered plus size to you! Keep it to yourself and enjoy the smut!
I am 5’7 rocking a 260-pound body that I was in love with. My face is bomb, my ass is fat, my bust is gorgeous, and I love my stomach and don’t get me started on thighs. Before I was in the military, I would walk around my house naked because I just enjoyed walking past every mirror in my home!
My body was heavily worshiped by my past lovers, not to mention there was much more of me to go around that my men just enjoyed. Those were good times, before I offered my service as a medic to KorTac. I got a long with pretty much everyone who came to my sick bay to be cared for…
So, you can imagine my surprise when Austrian operator Konig, had his thick muscular arms around my thighs carrying me to his barracks, like I didn’t weigh a thing.
“KONIG STOP IT! LET ME GO!” I said pounding on his heavy shoulders which did nothing to stop him. This man I have treated many times, he was built like a tank, arms covered in tattoos, yet he never removed his sniper hood. I knew he had severe anxiety, so I figured it brought him comfort. I was trying to figure out how it came to this, being brought into his large room and just placed onto his bed with a bounce.
It was late and I was checking a wound on his arm to ensure it healed properly and when I gave the “all clear”, he stood over me like a shadow, hoisted me up in his arms and just began to leave with me, without saying a word! Just like that. Konig was in a black tight shirt and his uniform pants. Konig looked down at me with heavy blue eyes.
“Naevia… I need you.” he said huskily, and I was almost confused before he began to unbuckle his pants and I gasped and covered my face, my fear rising in me. “I- I need to empty myself inside you, mein liebling.”
I squeaked at his words peeking through my fingers to see his cock standing at attention. My eyes widened. Oh, good lord he’s hung!
“Konig I-I don’t think I’m the right woman for you!” I said. For the first time, my confidence in my body was shot, mixed with fear of this giant of a man who had already removed his shirt revealing his muscular torso. He tilted his head.
“Why… would you say such a thing?” he asked as if offended. I finally lowered my hands and looked at his body and then looked at my body.
“I mean surely you’d want a woman who is smaller and well-built or something right?” I asked. I’ve personally never seen Konig around any women, but well-built men usually always wanted well-built petite women, or so I thought. He blinked down at me for a moment before leaning over and with one firm yank, he just slid my scrubs upward. I yelped as my legs were forced in the air as my pants slid right down my soft plushy thighs.
He even managed to take my Skechers off in the process!
“KONIG!” I yelped in shock. His hooded face was suddenly buried in my left thigh nuzzling it gently.
“Mein liebe, you have no idea how long I have waited to feel your soft skin against my face. Your body is perfect, you are perfect. Your thighs are so gorgeous, the way I want them to lock around my head and squeeze me so good!” He swoons, his gloved hands gently yet firmly holding my thighs in place. My eyes just watch in both horror and mild fascination at how much he was nuzzling my skin. I notice he leans into my inner thigh and press the space where his mouth is against my skin. He slowly reaches over to pull his mask up, but only enough for me to see his strong jaw as he kisses at my skin. “You smell amazing Naevia… you always do.”
I whimpered as his kisses begin to move up my body and I swallowed nervously as I felt him growl into my flesh. I shook my head snapping out of it as I try to scoot back some so, I could close my legs. I have been on my feet all day there is no way I smelled good down there!
“Konig, stop it’s dirty!” I say only for him to grab me and pull me back, burying his mask right into the center of my panties. I yelp as he inhales my scent, his eyes fluttering close for a moment.
“My darling, Naevia you could never be dirty.” he swoons, his eyes opening and looking at me with such… devotion. If eyes could show hearts in them, Konig’s would be pulsing. “Please Naevia… let me have you. Let me worship your body. I need it.”
I bit my lip looking at the top of his perfectly sculpted ass noticing he was rutting desperately into the bed right now. My heart was pounding hard in my chest, but I couldn’t deny the curiosity of how this moment would go with someone like Konig.
I’ve always heard this man was a monster on the battlefield, a killing machine who lived for the kill, and now here he is basically rubbing his cheeks against my thighs begging to have me. Fuck it.
“Okay… b-but shouldn’t I at least shower first- aaah~”
My words were cut off by his thick done moving up and down my folds through my panties. It felt weird at first, foreign almost, my body not aware of what was going on.
“No- need you… just like this.” he muttered into my pussy as he kept licking. The satin fabric of my panties mixed with his tongue had my folds tingling a bit due to the soft friction of the panties being touched. I shuddered feeling my vaginal walls starting to come to life. My chest begins to move up and down as I can hear him grumbling and growling into my pussy sending vibrations into me.
“Aah…” I moan as I feel his fingers finally pull my panties out of the way before feeling his tongue against my now wet folds. My toes began to curl as it didn’t take long for my body to respond. Konig begins to remove his gloves setting them on the ground so he can grip my thighs more, his fingers gently running along them after a moment.
“You taste amazing mein schatz.” Konig grumbles as his tongue begins to dip past my wet folds burying deeper inside, exploring my velvet walls. I can feel said walls begin to clench around the intruder. I notice his hands start to spread my thighs further apart, as he climbs further onto the bed, yet his mouth never leaves my drenched pussy.
Moans were falling from my lips as I feel his lips now move to suck on my sensitive clit. My toes curl immediately at the sensations, and I grip the bed sheets hard feeling heavy currents of pleasure beginning to move up into my body. My hips try and roll against his face, but he holds them down into the bed.
“Don’t worry, my liebe, I’ll take care of you.” he said, his dark eyes looking at me as if commanding me to keep still. My body is quivering still as he brings his attention back to my clit, flicking and teasing me now swollen pearl. My entire body was feeling warm and tingly all over. I feel two thick fingers prod at my soaked entrance before slowly pushing in, my walls automatically clenching up.
I gasped at the feel, his fingers curling lightly as he enters me. My eyes see stars as he started moving his fingers in and out, teasingly slow all the while his tongue continues to work my clit, sucking on it fast and hard. My cries grow louder, and I didn’t care about being quiet. I’ve always been told my moans sounded orgasmic, and I wanted to know if Konig would agree.
He growls out lowly as my moans continue, his fingers increasing in speed. My lower half was quivering from the stomach clenching pleasure I was feeling. I did not foresee my day going like this, but my god I didn't care. He felt so good inside me and it was making my body crave more of him.
“Ah Konig!” I moan his name. This only got his fingers moving faster and deeper inside me, hell bent to find my sweet spot, and when he does, I see white. My body bucks just a bit at the intense tingling sensations that were washing over me in waves. My walls were clenching faster and tighter, and my juices were pouring onto his fingers as his tongue continued to attack my clit.
“Keep showing me how good I make you, Naevia. I won’t stop until you cum at least four times.” Konig commands aggressively as his fingers curl inside me. Now the sparks of pleasure are attacking my pussy in heavy jolts, and I’m crying out harder and louder, desperate for him to keep going. My thighs lock around his head and he snarls happily at this response.
“Oh my god! Just like that, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” I chant as his fingers keep working me over, my hot juices are pouring out faster than I can stop it.
“Give it to me, mein Schatz!” he commands abusing that sweet spot now. I moan out hard as I feel me cum squirting out all over his fingers and face. My body shakes violently as I scream out in total bliss. My pussy gushes a bit more and I’m shuddering heavily. I’ve never done that before and it feels amazing.
“Braves mädchen…” he says lowly standing up on his knees before me. I have another clear picture of his body, his cock twitching almost angrily now, his balls tight. “Now… this is what’s going to happen next… I am going to remove the rest of your clothes and worship the rest of your body… I am going to suck those pretty nipples of yours until you cum from it- that will be your second orgasm… then I am going to eat that tight ass of yours until you come a third time… and finally… I am going to fuck you so deep in your pretty pink pussy until your womb is overflowing with my cum and then I will allow you to come a forth time.”
His tone was dark and heavy, and leaving no room for argument. This was not a suggestion this was a full-on command. There would be no democratic discussions on how this would go; this was going to be a dictatorship on my pussy that he was going to conquer and claim.
“Okay…” I said weakly and his eyes showed me that he was pleased, and he was smirking as he leaned over my body, his face closing in on mine as he raises his sniper hood just enough for his lips to hover over mine.
“Braves mädchen.” he says huskily before capturing my lips in a dominate kiss.
Taglist
@poohkie90
@patienceunique (only because you replied to my question about this yesterday lol if you want to be taken off I will do so xD)
@gremlinmodetweeker
@marley-suguru4143
@cyaniderainfall
#blackfemoc#smut#black female oc#konig call of duty#konig cod#cod konig#konig x black reader#konig x black female OC#Konig x black curvy female OC
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Temptation of the Arcane
If I were to give up my humanity to have a body without pain and a mind without emotions I would give up my heartbeat. There is nothing of my person that I wouldn’t trade, because no action fuelled by my emotions ever left a good result. I am flawed, I am broken both beyond repair. You might see my flaws as beautiful, but they cause me endless pain. I never feared losing myself, because I am not attached to who I was. But who I could be is a distant dream I reach for. It is easier to dream yourself into a god, than to accept your own reflection. And I will try to improve myself until I am whole, instead of the husk I have created out of myself.
I live in distance from myself, no longer attached to the outside. I can see a thousand faces looking back in the mirror except for my own. I can see clearly but none of what I see will matter to my memories. This puppet I am moving is still surviving, after all this time it still is. There will never be a place for me to rest, except for continued movement until I can finally reach eternity. The numbness has overtaken me and I cannot see if a face looks at me with anger or affection. All I know is that I don’t want to go back to becoming human. I know I am running, but running I shall because I have been trapped by these broken legs for too long. I don’t want to know the person I am, I want to be the person I could be. And in this solitude I find company, knowing that at least I will never be broken again.
I sometimes catch myself taking back my body, but with every tear and every laugh I open up a crack. An old wound that can be hurt again. More pain to overshadow the process of healing. And a body that falters after doing the right thing. I cannot live with myself, all I hope for is that I can improve other peoples lives. Because I seem to be an expert at making myself miserable.
#Arcane Rant#Viktor#My thoughts on Viktors temptation to the hexcore#or however you want to interpret it#braindump#writing#arcane#arcane viktor#viktor arcane#hexcore#viktor league of legends#viktor lol#corrumpted viktor#viktor hivemind#disassociating#arcane season2#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#arcane season 2 spoilers
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I see a lot of people upset about William Kaplan being dead and no one mourning him cus Billy stole his body and I just don't see it that way. The kid in Wanda Vision is Billy Maximoff, The teenager at the Bar Mitzvah is William Kaplan, the Teen that got taken to the hospital after the wreck is neither and both Billy Maximoff and William Kaplan. That Teen went home with the abilities of Billy Maximoff, to the home of William Kaplan, with memories of neither and lived there for three years. He cares about Rebecca and Jeff, he lied to the to protect them from pain, they are his parents. He wants to find Tommy, he has magical powers, he wants to know who he is. All of these things are true. I wouldn't say William Kaplan is dead he just doesn't remember, like Agatha wasn't dead when he was Agnes, she just didn't remember.
#its fully possible the witches road will give Teen both his memories back cus thats the thing he's missing. making him not William Kaplan#and not Billy Maximoff but Billy Kaplan a mix of the two.#agatha all along#agatha harkness#billy kaplan#william kaplan#billy maximoff#and to all the people pissed that he isn't finding Wanda. womp womp this is about his brother and if you looked you would have seen that.#rumor has it Tommy will be in Vision Quest right? Tommy has to be set up somewhere! he doesn't have magic. and why would they bring back#THE SCARLETT WITCH in a marvel tv show? that's a huge moment they want that sucker for a movie.#marvel#jeff kaplan#rebecca kaplan#also for people up set e6 was billy focused.... yeah mcu projects have set ups for other projects.#even Moon Knight set up Wearwolf by knight. then She Hulk and spiderman had a set up for Daredevil. wandavision set up for Agatha All Along#and the Marvels. Mrs Marvel had a set up for The Marvels. thats kinda how the mcu works its a conected story#teen agatha all along#in the show it shows he doesn't actually remember tommy if he didn't he wouldn't have had to find Ralph. he was surprised wanda had twins#named billy and tommy and that one could read mind while the other was a speedster. all he knows about tommy is that he can feel him#and hes missing.#he probably doesn't know what tommy looks like or sounds like or acts all he know is he can feel him MIA and wants him back.#.........#im back. i also see people stiching that one scene with for lack of better term Teen looking in the mirror going I am William Kaplan and#taking it as Billy adjusting to the body hes in now. one even calling him the monster inhabiting Williams body. and i dont think that it.#he doesn't remember being Billy Maximoff OR William Kaplan. again calling him Teen. Teen is looking in the mirror at a body and face that is#completely alien to him because it is! he has amnesia. he's looking in a mirror with no idea who is looking at him not because hes Billy but#because its no one at that moment hes nothing. he has no idea who he is at all. all he know is thats his body his name is William and his#parents and worried and he know that cus he can read minds. thats it nothing else
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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what a weird thing to say
#my design for neil is based off of my cat who lives in a filipino house hold im not whiteifying my cat lmfao#neil is wasian to me . filo/polish#cant stop thinking abt this though. whats wrong w people seeing him as a poc?#do you not think mixed people exist lol ?#am i going to look in the mirror and see nothing ?#im going insane#post im abt to drop in the next few minutes go out to you ❤️#will delete later like i deleted the original reply#very very weird of you. keep it to yourself next time
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I really feel like a Soulsb0rne protag is the only character I can actually be lol. Not the custom version, but the concept
- Strong sense of being guided by something / following it without question (I believe I told this story in a September, how finding star-shaped objects for me is equal to checking bonfires/cites of grace/etc)
- I am an absolute looser that was cast off the face of the world very, very long time ago and I am not supposed to be where I am right now considering everything that happened to me, I carried on because of the sense of something having 'called' me
- Everyone hostile towards me either keeps respawning or is ridiculously difficult to defeat, without help at least, but my friends tend to have the worst luck and be found broken for the reasons I have 0 control over..
- Identity difficulties; it feels like I am able to pick up literally any character as a kin or relate to every character, and yet not really be any of them for long enough. I've been trying to 'claim' a character for many years in many interests, but it feels like I am cursed with always being an OC, if not a self-insert xD (Similarly to how the protag can take armours, skills and weapons of any other NPCs but in the end they're not them)
- No matter how much experience I receive, none of this internalizes until I have a very long talk about it with a trusted friend (similarly to the level-up characters)
- I've met the person who already walked (and was broken by) the very same way I was only about to head towards.. When I've met him, I knew with my gut feeling that I was looking at my own future, even if I could not explain how it could be because of decage age and experience gap between us. And just like I felt, the very same harm that turned him That Way started to be inflicted on me. He gave me "This same thing happened to me years ago / this is why I no longer bother with [insert a demographic]" more times than I could count, and I to this day feel like there is no escape but to repeat his path and become just like him.. except my way is still not finished, and I have a chance to come out different and carry on the impossible way I guess? (Souls games tend to have a character that was on the same quest as the protag prior to game events, but it broke them. Vyke, Djura, Vеndrick....)
#personal#lol I am john soulsb0rne nooooo#the funniest fucking part THE MOST funny part is that the 'protag mirror' guy *did* kin Djura#and the whole 'I will just wait for you to finally undestand what I already understood' was the main drive of that relationship#like... I can't put into words how much it felt like I was looking at my potential future when I'll be same age as him#would explain why the urge to stick with him was almost paranormal and hypnotic#I have a very strong sense of 'it is my fate to go there or do this' when it applies#lmao though#this is the best explanation to why I can relate to every character that exists but can't 'claim' any#rom is the closest thing to it but again it is the *concept* of the person that 'sees everything and understands nothing'#it is same as identifying with aesthetic or an element of nature or stuff
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You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.
And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)
ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.
This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.
#i looked in a mirror 20 feet away as reference because im like NYAHAHA WHAT EVILS HAVE I COMMITED#and i see my own smug face in the mirror like 'yes this will get me hunted down'#sketches#i do comedy slapstick violence but ya know doing more darker jokes and adult humor feels nice like im not censoring myself#i mean i still am by not showing you guys a lot of the bloody or even H O RN Y stuff but ya cant expose everything#like for those of yall who have followed me for years id say were all legal here for more than my usual 13+ content#i just want ro be appealing to a broader audience IN CASE i ever did make it somewhere but haha its been what#8 years since i started this blog. any credit i had died off with teeny taku fhjdjsksajsk#ive got no image to uphold. i have nothing im trying to promote anymore. i do but ive lost the plot ya know#im just having fun and im glad you guys are just ...letting me? like i looked at my old stuff#with the cookies the pokemans the fehs the ocs. and yall just let me go freaking wild and thought#yeah ill give that a like. bless yalls hearts. bless ya souls. ive got thousands of posts on here and yall just let me run wild#and thank you for that. ya never pit pressure on me. kts me outting pressure on myself.#i do wish there were folks that did look forward to some actual tangible content instead of me shitposting with no cohesiveness#but thats just hard with adhd. and try as i might with medications and alarms and deadlines and what have you. its just. difficult#like even the tags here are derailing. but i hope that alongside me just having fun doing my thing. i hope i can get on course#where there is a clear line to follow in my life but i dont lose sight of it as i trail off#but for now. im just drawing experimenting and straight up goofing around. have fun you guys#i may not show you everything but just know im having fun too.
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last night i was poking around in my mouth as u do and i reached back where i had always felt this hard thing w my tongue for awhile now but was like ah maybe it's just like. my gums being inflamed in the back or smthn BUT,, no i poked that thing with my fingernail n it is a tooth that is a whole ass wisdom tooth
#NO WONDER... MY JAW IS IN PAIN ALMOST ALL THE TIME.... HUH..#i wonder if that period where i literally couldnt move my jaw from the pain for like a week was when it was emerging#otherwise the pain is like not awful. not bad enough it's noticeable u know im used to it i have so many aches n pains in my body naturally#like my entire head has a constant ache. if u touch my cheekbones ill drop my head like a cat into ur hand dude it is .#it's like the most relieving ache . like u have just lifted a massive weight off my shoulders. and it's been that way since i was a kid#i think i googled if thats what it was before n they were like no if it were your wisdom tooth youd know :) it would hurt u so bad#which i despise btw because this means nothing to me BHJAH.... like they said the same thing when i broke my foot the nurse that did intake#i was a kid & she was like dont worry if it were broken youd know and you wouldnt have walked in here on it ... fellas . it was broken#& i could never see anything when i looked in the mirror#but it's just because it's slightly covered by like swollen gums back there which i always thought was just because i chewed too hard#but.#no i guess it;s because something was erupting like an alien#i used my lil pokey tool to squish em out of the way and i can see it#it's so weird just having a tooth u know u shouldnt#like i . i want to just grab it i want to just hold it in my hand#why does it have to be so securely in place whihc is something i wouldnt never say for my other teeth HJBA#i am not going 2 have it removed any time soon im .#i have wanted to go to the dentist my whole life but i am too scared#esp w the damage from my ed and depression im so embarrassed#i honestly want to though#there is nothing that would make me feel more like an actual person then to just. get a cleaning#get my maintenance done LMAO#i do my best at home but u kno#i use an electric spinning toothbrush i floss i use mouthwash i do it all 2 try n handle what damage there already is#but it still would do wonders for my mental health and oral health#apparently partial impactions which is what i have can be really bad n get infected so . aha...h. 👍:).. ..h.
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i do acknowledge i need to watch what i say wrt gender women men cis ppl etc just augh.
#its like. im a trans man 100% i want nothing to do w being seen as a women i acknowledge that. i also acknowledge that I am putting#literally zero effort in my irl life to present as a guy at all. partially lack of resources and embarrassment etc stuff like that partiall#the autism i literally look in a mirror and see a guy#and i go to class go to work and until soemone explicitally refers to me as a woman i think of myself as a guy. so like its this weird#disconnect of what i actually do vs what i percieve as expieriencing in my daily life where i am objectively living#as a cis woman who just dresses and acts a bit masc. lol.#and like that doesnt bother me atm until i get to a setting where i am gendered frequently. then i feel nauseas etc but whatever ill deal#so i always hesitate whenever i talk abt women feminism men makeup beauty expectations etc (also i am mixed thai and white which#def plays into everyhting ofc ofc) as i dont know rly what is like. not fine idc if i say smthn uncouth just i dont want to at all#seem like im doing what these other trans guys do and latch onto my femininity and 'girlhood growing up' etc or like#its all dumb to me ofc im a feminist i consider anything i speak abt feminism free the nipple being against gender essiantialism etc etc#as in feminism (not that women arent/cant be femnists just in terms of im not trying to sound like a woman) and#ofc growing up as and my current life experiences have obvi had a large impact on myself how i veiw the world my political beliefs and all.#but like. im always scared it sounds like im idr the phrase someone else used but a i dont want to seem like im latching onto girlhood as#a failsafe or whatever. its just mm ykwim its a weird feeling. cause like im a 21 year old man and read my posts as such el oh el.#idk its all weird and idk if its a specific to me thing or whattttt it just like. i feel silly sometimes and i dont want my points to be#misconstrued :) anyways me posting this after rewatching and posting abt pearl has nothign to do genuinly lmfao just timing its been#on my mind after that dumbass trans guy posting abt the lonelyness he feels abt abandoning womanhood#after watching barbie. lol and then i saw someone in the comments of some ig quote it w like 30 replies all positive like get a lifeee#i understand it can feel isolating being trans and everyones relationship back to womanhood is diff and complecated but by god. shut up#anywayyyyyssss mmm okay im done whateverr#maybe all a fear in my head and literally none of this has every crossed anyones mind however it bothers me :(
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.
#mmm. mmmmm.#sometimes u wake up and shower and look in the mirror at your wide hips and narrow shoulders and u think#''damn this trans stuff is really delusional isn't it'' because no matter how hard you try you're never going to pass#because you can't get top surgery and can't get hormone therapy and can't safely learn to lower your voice#and you have a couple irls who know about your actual identity but you're certain they don't actually see you as male#except your sister and your best friend#you have a woman's body and a woman's voice and are living a woman's life and nothing you do seems to ever change that#it all feels so fucking pointless sometimes.#figures. one of my classmates presented her essay draft today and it was about whether or not being queer was nature or nurture#and it really hit a nerve. because people don't actually care which one it is. if it's nature then they will find this hypothetical gene#and they will purge it.#if it's nurture then they will do anything to stop the ''gay agenda'' because lgbtq+ behavior is deviant behavior and is therefore immoral#they would do anything to prevent us. we are an illness#i'm so tired. so fucking tired. i know i'm not male and i know i'll never be male and i wish i could just accept that#idk why i keep clinging to the notion that i am male . what's all this for?#i choose to carry this burden as if i'll get anything out of it. as if my time and energy wasn't needed elsewhere#my work. my final paper. my health. i'm so tired#i just wish i could stop caring.#jun.log#negative
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Looking at the weird pattern of peach-fuzz on my face and realizing that as soon as my beard starts coming in from T I'm going to look like Harry du Bois against my will
#yes i love disco elysium. yes i hate that harry du bois is just like me fr#like do you know how fucked up it was. to look in the mirror at the beginning of the game and see his face and be like#'woag. thats also my default expression i cant get rid of' anf then have the game go 'what the fuck is up with that expression'#shut upp shut UP. some of us have an unnerving permanent grin . for trauma reasons even#i am nothing like him. he looks just like me tho#at least i have an ass
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Fuck it I'm in a bad mood here's some of the things I didn't tell my psychiatrist bc every time I started to she looked really freaked out and concerned
#rant#I'm not only what you can see#there's so much more to myself than what i look like physically#i just sometimes feel like im not the person you think i am but one of the others#it sounds so fucked up but that's what i feel sometimes#sometimes I'm me but a little bit to the left#or a fish eye view of me from slightly above#sometimes people speak to my body while I'm watching from a little bit farther away#ik that that's most likely from disassociation#but yeah#i don't recognize my face in the mirror most of the times#ik that the person looking back is me bc ik what color and length my hair is and how my eyes look#but sometimes it looks so warped i get scared bc i can't understand why i look so different than before#I'm scared that someday i might hurt someone#that i won't be able to control my thoughts#when i took 3x times my medication i felt like an invisible human form was moving my body while i watched from a few feet back#i felt nothing#i wasn't concerned bc i didn't feel like my body was mine so i let it happen bc i wanted to see what was going to happen#i have nearly 2 years of my life that i almost completely don't remember#i managed to make friends and idk how bc i just can't remember#apparently i used to be really mean and bitchy#i believe in ghosts and nothing people say will make me change my mind#i know that the “paranormal experiences '' i had as a kid were just hallucinations but i can't help myself#i know that the voices were hallucinations and what i saw wes also a visual glitch#i can't stop the magical thinking#i tryed#but my life makes so much sense with it#when i sed that during a psychotic episode a thing was wearing my mother's face and skin was following me around and wanted to kill me#i think i made the part were i was holding a knife up so i can feel better about myself#i sometimes pretend that i feel sorry for my actions bc my psychiatrist looks worried if i don't and ahe continues with the convo until i
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