#am i doing anything final fantasy-related currently? nope! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

infiniteorangethethird · 2 years ago

Note

Hellooooo hi, I'm too lazy to scroll yeah

Can you tell me a bit about your paracosm? :3

A bit? Nope, sorry, no can do, I can only tell you a metric fuck TON about my paracosm. Hope ur prepared for an infodump >:)

Sooooo uh. There’s a lot to talk abt (because I don’t know how to shut up) so let me break it up a little. Setting-wise, the story’s set in a fantasy version of Earth, where the most important difference (aside from the presence of magic) is that if someone writes a story and enough people read it, the story becomes real in a parallel dimension. I originally thought of this as a way to explain how my OCs could meet with the characters from my favorite shows/books, nowadays it’s both a mechanic that facilitates the story and (recently more frequently) the focus and source of conflict.

Because of the setting, aside from the numerous stolen characters from other media and reworked versions of said stolen characters, there’s obviously a lot of magic going around with a fuckton of places to visit and even more magical species to populate the world and wield said magic – “angels”, demons, shapeshifters, monsters, gods, you name it. Most of my paras are non-human and those who are also tend to have non-human ancestry or some kind of extra magical power (what’s the point of fantasy without fantasy, yknow?). But also, because I have a weird obsession with Organizing and Putting Things In Boxes, I have the physics of magic worked out to an absurd detail, feel free to shoot me an ask abt it if you want to be bored to death :D

Plot-wise… well. I would summarize the story, I actually HAVE a pretty decent summary, but it’s like, 100+ pages (50k+ words if I recall correctly), and I’m pretty sure tumblr would not Like That (and this version’s not even up to date), so. There used to be a lot of exploration of the world (aka me integrating my current interests into my paracosm because I can), nowadays it’s a lot more character-focused, with the plot revolving around 15-ish “main” paras and their lives. Which can be anything from “I can finally go to college and study the stuff I wanna study! Yay!” to “oh god oh fuck I’m a general in a multidimensional war and thousands are dead if I make the wrong move” so. There’s a lot of throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. (I am a sucker for big epic fights tho so that happens a lot lol)

Thematically, I like to focus on the inner worlds of my paras and how they relate to the world around them. Each of them come from different backgrounds with different perspectives so any time I wanna explore a concept I can just pick whoever falls closest to that (like, “oh THIS one was abandoned by their family but THIS one is a stable father figure, found family trope go brrr” just to name an example). There’s a lot of hurt/comfort generally speaking, heavy on the emotional angst and, because I’m a secret whump enjoyer, there also tends to be a lot of blood. Like a lot. (Dw I always balance it out with some old-fashioned “finding peace in each other’s presence” daydreams, especially soft and cuddly.) Oh yeah and also everyone’s gay but that’s pretty much expected at this point.

Sometimes I also like to wonder about the morality of certain aspects of this universe, since the setting and world is so different from ours, but ig that’s a topic for another day haha

Anyway yeah that’s as short as I could get it 😅 it’s a bit hard to talk about my paracosm as a whole because it’s so old and as a result incredibly widespread. I do have a sideblog dedicated to it but tbh I haven’t really touched it in ages so what little info it has is probably outdated. Idk what else to say, if there’s any part you’d want me to go into greater detail feel free to ask (I know ppl mostly only care about the paras which, fair, but when it comes to talking abt my paracosm practically any topic is free for the asking lol), and sorry for the long ramble haha

Bonus doodle of one of my paras (Rowena) I did like a day ago

#paraportal #the orange dimension #<- had to come up w a tag for my paracosm lol #my art #para: Rowena

10 notes · View notes

neonnoir-ao3 · 4 years ago

Text

Some Words of Comfort.

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of people (especially those who have read spoilers/are actively searching for leaked content) lament about their future reactions to the deaths of our beloved characters in-game.

We all knew this was inevitable, and that them living was not an option for the plot of the game, but the time has finally come to face it head-on.

��⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I understand that someone outside this community might be like “it’s just a game”, but I know it’s way more than that to many: the concept of a female villain that, to many, can be seen as sympathizable and even endearing, is a bit of a new concept— especially on such a large scale as this instance.

In addition, Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters have become a bit of a comfort item for some (with an emphasis on sapphics/wlw, from what I’ve seen personally) in the form of a large, protective, and caring hypothetical partner, or even just a maternal character one can appreciate simply because of her love for her children. Regardless, most of us are here due to some desire for comfort.

Take my own story with this community, for example:

(tws for death, covid, suicide, and general medical emergencies)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankly, 2020 and the beginning of 2021 have ruined me. I lost two men who were the only two positive father figures I’ve ever had. The last of the two tested positive for covid and deteriorated within days, to the point where less than a week after testing positive, my family was making the choice to pull the plug. This all occurred days before Christmas and my birthday. On the first day of the spring semester, having not had the time to properly mourn my grandfather, my mother is in the ER for multiple days with an internal infection that doctors said likely would have turned septic if she had waited to come in any longer. This led to three surgeries throughout the next few months. (Oh, and one of my relatives quite literally dropped dead on that first day of class, too). I am also estranged from one of my parents, and they have been trying to contact my family: they have multiple untreated mental illnesses (severe NPD, bipolar, and more) and they are extremely aggressive in that state of mind and they are agitated extremely easily. That only brings more stress, along with resurfacing trauma and related emotions. Every moment of every day has been a struggle. So much so that I failed half of my classes voluntarily simply because I couldn't do them anymore.

To be perfectly honest with you, I didn’t expect to be here right now. I expected that the pain of simply moving forward would have finally overridden my fears of death and that I would have already ended my suffering by now.

Then, in late January, I saw something trending on Twitter. About a new female villain in an upcoming horror game. And it went from there.

As cheesy as it sounds, this fandom and its content seriously saved my life. In the darkest of days, I’ve come to this tag for comfort. The oddest way I found said comfort was through those who were attracted to Alcina aesthetically. I have extremely long-term trauma related to being bullied and being the victim of a hybrid catfishing/'Oreo Game' on early social media by peers in middle school to the point where I do not think of myself as being able to be loved, let alone being worthy of it. Finding this community not only provided a great form of escapism (and opened a door into a fantasy world where I could imagine my own person vampire milf gf), but also gained a little bit of self-esteem (as many of you know, I share a lot of visual qualities with Alcina. -yes, I'm still kinda freaked out about it-) via seeing people where features/attributes like mine were actively praised and desired rather than insulted and pushed away like they have been until now.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

(okay sorry that kinda turned into a trauma dump but I needed to emphasize the fact that this community has seriously helped me during a really dark point in my life, and I know I can't be the only one with that sort of experience)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

What I’m trying to get across here is that, like many others, this community and its content have been comforting and therapeutic, and it really is more than just a game to us. It’s entertaining and even a form of escapism in these extremely trying times. We all have some degree of PTSD from surviving a literal mass plague— and this is something we're using as a method of coping. a distraction. a coping mechanism.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With that being said, here are some ways to hopefully assist in lessening the emotional stress:

(please note that I am not a mental health professional and these may not be healthy coping mechanisms for everyone.)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Understand that it’s just a game.

I know, this sounds completely counterintuitive, but it’s more or less about keeping your level of immersion down. Personally, I can’t do scary shit in general: I have to listen to music on low volume while watching dark ARG vids at night or when I’m alone because I get too into it, and then my paranoia kicks in. Sometimes just pausing for a moment and grounding yourself/reminding yourself that this is a video game: a jumble of code and 3D rendering that doesn’t have to affect your views/headcanons if you don’t want it to. Did your favorite character just get slaughtered? Nope, that 3D rendering of them just got un-alived, that’s all.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Ignorance is Bliss/We are the Captain Now

Simple: Capcom can’t even pronounce Dimitrescu right, or even acknowledge the way it’s correctly said in Romanian culture itself. How can you trust them to give you a perfect canon? That’s the thing: with that logic, you can’t. What they say is true means little (if anything, for that matter) to your headcanons and preexisting ideas of the Dimitrescus. In short: fuck ‘em.

I’m currently seeking a double major in pop culture, and one of the cool things I’ve learned so far is affirmational vs transformational fandom. Affirmational is where official canon is seen as the law of the land, and followed to a T. Transformational is seen as much more inviting for audiences, allowing them to bend canon as they wish to fit their own creations. This fandom is obviously transformational, so take that game canon, rip it up, and get back to whatever you were doing.

Capcom’s canon is not the end-all, be-all. Far from it, actually.

Want to still acknowledge canon? Godmod your way out of it.

Character A died? It’d be a shame if they emerged from the rubble they 'died in' a few hours later, very beaten but alive nonetheless... how awful would it be if they sulked away, nursed their wounds, and continued to live... (/s)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Ignore it completely.

Remember: give it time. Once the game drops, there w be a wave of grief, but eventually, we as a community will recover, and get back to business as usual. Think about it like the in any way. Stay with the version in your head that makes you happy.

Get Creative!

If you're into creating fanart, writing fics, or even just posting a list of headcanons, take some advice from the late Carrie Fisher: "Take your broken heart, and make it into art". Make the fluff oneshot of your dreams! Draw the fanart you've been wanting to! dump lighthearted headcanons into the tags! Not only will it cheer you up, but sharing it with the community will spread the love!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I know a lot of people are struggling with this emotionally (especially with the pandemic making entertainment like this even more important sources of escapism and coping mechanisms) and I hope that, at the very least, I was able to help comfort one person who reads this.

Remember: give it time. Once the game drops, there will be a wave of grief, but eventually, we as a community will recover, and get back to business as usual. Think about it like the flowers that bloom after major wildfires: after a period of loss, some beautiful can still come of it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

💙

#tall vampire lady #lady alcina #lady dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #castle dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #dimitrescu daughters #dimitrescu family #dimitrescu sisters #cassandra dimitrescu #countess dimitrescu #house dimitrescu #resident evil #re: village #resident evil village #resident evil: village

167 notes · View notes

leam1983 · 4 years ago

Text

It’s the end of the work week and, well...

I’m having thoughts on labor culture.

My father was born in 1958. He lived as the son of an absent father of five children who had no ability to truthfully express his love and care, and who instead chose to bury himself in work as a means to display his commitment. My paternal grandfather made and sold mattressees and died quite young of a cancer strain that today would’ve seemed benign. He was described as a hard worker, either up to his neck in his business or wanting just a scant few hours per day to himself. It made an aloof lover out of him and a distant father - who still loved his wife and children to bits but who felt emotionally castrated in a sense, as were men of the era.

The family consensus is that his work killed him.

My father is now 65 and survived a bout of Non-Hodgkinian Lymphoma. The oncologist and anyone with half a brain agreed that stress was the culprit. Early on, Dad had the family as an excuse for his tendency to overwork. He had to provide for us, after all, and garnish my mother’s meagre savings. All she has is her government-issued pension plan, while my father does have his own pension as a retiree of the City of Montreal’s Real-Estate Appraisal service. Considering, he felt obligated to pull a heavier load to bring in more, so they’d have better investment opportunities. Later on, he kept working out of a sense of fealty and attachment to his division, breaking out of retirement during the pandemic to join the work-from-home team. He wanted to help techs and city officials find ways to bring more of the traditionally snail-mail-based parts of the system online so the city’s Land Management service wouldn’t be paralyzed by COVID-19. What was supposed to be a single month turned into four, which turned into twelve.

By the end, they were begging him to stay on the team and to pull longer hours. We’re talking twenty hours per day, in some particularly grueling stretches. That means being logged in by breakfast and scarfing bagels down with Urban Design techs on Zoom instead of your own family, or having supper with your boss because she needs a play-by-play of the situation to stave off her executive anxiety.

Long story short, I didn’t see Dad much during the first wave. His reasoning was that he’d eventually stop, pool all this cash, and chuck it into his and Mom’s Registered Retirement Savings Account - with maybe an extra two thou or so in case the country reopened enough for their postponed trip to Cuba to take place.

Guess what? His zona flared up and he ended up with odd, shingly bumps along his scalp which to this day the local dermatologist grimaces at and tentatively has us dab with cortisone cream.

Mom, though? She’s a retired and registered nurse with a self-negating streak and a chronic propensity to undervalue her own physical ailments. Someone who quite literally understands the pain of busted hips on a clinical level because she was trained in Gerontology - and also someone who refuses to schedule an appointment with her GP and who inexplicably self-medicates with white wine.

As for me, I’m a 37 year-old man with a paycheck I consider massive with its meagre six bucks above the minimum-wage threshold - someone who chose to shack in with his folks until the current crisis ends and who therefore has a history of a single, willingly terminated apartment lease that originally began in the Planned Housing market. The apartment I want is basically a Barbie doll house for adults, a gleaming fantasy I’ll never have enough capital to touch unless I feel like trying my hand with criminal applications of my skills. The apartment I can get right now is a shithole, and I have the audacity to think I deserve a shithole that at least wasn’t someone’s former cockroach den.

Now here’s the kicker: I value my sanity and my health. I know my mental stamina levels and I know from experience that after working seven-point-five hours per day with the occasionally shorter Friday, I’ve found my limit. I could invest more if I worked more, yes, and I’m already in a better position than my parents, retirement-wise. I’ll never be rich, but I’m already set to be comfortable, provided I don’t spend my golden years trying to make it as an unsponsored TechTuber or anything else that’s equally ludicrous.

Where that’s a problem is in the toxicity this is generating. See, I have the gall to slide my daily schedule later so I can start at an hour that fits my biological clock and ends at an hour where I’m at my most creative. That means the folks saw me spending my pandemic mornings on Animal Crossing while Dad was trying to wrangle Excel spreadsheets for non-tech-savvy fellow Boomers while preventing the dog from eating his meeting notes. That means they guzzled vinho verde like it was Kool-Aid after seven while I made sure to find more concrete means to distance myself from work - ideally ones that didn’t involve functional alcoholism.

Naturally, what was bound to happen, happened: Dad soon spent his evenings calling me shiftless or “unwilling to commit”, while I was stuck watching him miss all the cues his stressed-out body were sending him. We already had Trump’s last desperate months and a global plague to handle, I really didn’t want my work to turn into more of a nuisance than it already is. I already love the people I work for and hate what I do (repeating the family cycle, it seems), but I’ve at least decided to give myself ample Me time every single day.

I’ve paired that with smaller, if consistent portfolio investments, along with a few new habits I wanted to get into to stay saner. Dad pulls crosswords or plays competitive chess in the wee hours, while I usually lay down to meditate around midnight and fall asleep by 1 AM at the latest. I’m half-expecting my father to pull a Tyler Durden and to sneer at me, at some point. “Self-care is masturbation,” he’d probably say.

Looking at classifieds for rentals, it’s obvious that the entire system is predicated on abuse. Work yourself down to the therapist’s office, right down to the fucking bone, and you just might earn a half-decent retirement because nobody’s taught you to invest incrementally. Nope, Society seems to say, you’re supposed to buy, buy and buy some more, until you realize you have ten years left to start from scratch!

I remember Dad’s face on my eighteenth birthday. “Why would you want a Disability Care Savings Account, Brain? You just turned into a legal adult by Canadian standards - you’re in no rush, right?”

I told him the real gift I wanted for my birthday, that day, was a ride to the family’s Financial Investments counsel. I pulled up the PDFs I’d printed out and filled and brought them over. From then on, if I dropped a penny in my nest-egg, Ottawa would drop another one. If my share grew, so did the government’s. In the twenty-odd years since, it’s expanded exponentially.

Dad thought I’d done this to have a big cushion by the time I’d retire. Mom thought I’d done this in case my disability worsened and I started requiring equipment or physical assistance. Honestly, my dumb, if slightly prescient eighteen year-old self figured I’d rather spend my time reading or playing video games than working. I knew I’d need something to help cushion my admittedly low career-related ambitions. I might throw several thousands at a new computer every seven to eight years, but that’s because I’ve saved them up for just as long, little by little. I have no vices beyond what sillicon offers and what you’d find in the pages of a book and don’t exactly need a big ‘ol, stonkin’ humidor stuffed with conoisseur stogies.

I have a shoebox with a poked-out Ziploc bag and a sponge, with a handful of joints and a few Santa Anas I got off of a buyer’s pool from work. Five of us occasional chair-bar goons pooled cash together on Cigar Chief and cushioned prices with a single, shared and massive order. I’m nowhere near rich, but assuming the housing market can catch its breath eventually, I’ll be able to live modestly - with one or two markers of occasional luxury I’ll have chosen.

I have a shittier job than my father has had and I’ve chosen to be happier than him. It’s just sad that the usual response elevates overwork as the supposedly one, true way to leave a mark in society.

No, Dad. I don’t want to die while my own cells eat me alive, I want to die blazed out of my fucking mind, happy because I’ll have had time to enjoy my friends’ company and to finally make some sense out of Kerouac’s Subterraneans or to figure out what the fuck is going on in Joyce’s Illiad. I’ll die crusty as shit and fulfilled as a Pop Culture jockey, because I’ll have either finished Persona 5: Golden in my lifetime or I’ll have watched the entirety of the MCU’s output before Disney finally manages to kill their golden goose.

I want to die decades from now, feeling like I at least owned my choices and didn’t spend my time tethered to someone else’s professional expectations of me.

#personal life #thoughts #work culture #overwork #cancer #free time #mental health

3 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 4 years ago

Text

1083.

Do you have a vlog? If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? >> I don’t have a vlog and I’ve only considered it as a humorous thought exercise, not seriously. My own mannerisms and facial tics embarrass me when I’m aware of them or can see them on video, so I’d rather not put myself through that.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? >> I don’t remember. Edit: I think at one point I was going to pre-K in the morning and kindergarten in the afternoon, because they realised I was precocious or whatever, but they didn’t want to just fully skip me to kindergarten (idfk, man, teachers are weird). So I went to both at the same time, and graduated from both at the end of the year.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? >> Wisecrack, Overly Sarcastic Productions, The Take, Philosophy Tube, ContraPoints, Ethys Asher, MTQCapture (just for FFXIV dungeon guides, but hers are the best), Final Fantasy Union, Implicitly Pretentious, NakeyJakey, Ask a Mortician... those are all the ones I can remember off the top of my head. I’m always looking for new channels, but it’s hard to find consistently interesting and well-made content that isn’t about things I just don’t particularly care about.

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? >> ---

Have you ever watched a live birth video? >> No.

Have you ever given birth? >> Heavens, no.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? >> I vaguely remember when Internet for the casual at-home user became a thing. The Internet as a whole is a bit older than me, and I was very young when things like IRC came out.

Do you remember Y2K? >> Yes!

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? >> I was 12.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? >> ---

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? >> I did think I was binary trans for a few years. Now I’m completely off the gender axis and floating in todash space somewhere. As intended.

What’s your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? >> I am the youngest of my father’s offspring.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? >> I think if there’s any stereotype I’d be liable to fit, it’d be only-child stereotypes, since that’s how I was raised (my father’s other children were decades older than me and I barely knew them).

Have you ever worn overalls? >> Yeah.

If you’re a girl, how old were you when you started your period? >> I’m not a girl, but I was 11 or so.

Do you get cramps? >> I did. Awful ones, too, the kind that would incapacitate me (sometimes in public...). Which is the primary reason why I started taking the Pill -- I didn’t dare to hope that it would get rid of periods altogether, but I was very relieved and happy when it did.

Is your mom mentally stable? >> ---

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? >> ---

Where do you want to go on vacation next? >> I would love to go on a vacation to anywhere, but that’s not feasible right now.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? >> *shrug*

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? >> I mean, I’m sure someone has, but I don’t know anything about it.

What’s your favorite type of crackers? >> Oh, god, I forgot what they’re called. But they’re long and thin and rectangular and they come in flavours like garlic and rosemary. Also, matzo. Love matzo, particularly the egg and onion kind.

What’s your favorite spice? >> I really couldn’t say.

Are you sensitive? >> Way more so than I’d thought I was. Turns out a complex system of protections and defense mechanisms was shielding a very soft core. (Thank god. As much as they can and do backfire and cause their own problems, can you imagine how much worse off I would have been without those mechanisms?)

Are you intuitive? >> I don’t know, really. How does one measure that?

Are you spiritual? >> Maybe. I don’t really know what people mean when they use that word, so I’m hesitant to say one way or the other.

Do you wish your life were easier? >> My life isn’t particularly difficult at this juncture. I just have... a very small window of tolerance and take things a lot harder as a result. I don’t wish my life was easier, I wish my brain was less on fire.

What color hair did your first crush have? >> ---

What was the name of your first crush? >> ---

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? >> No.

Do you remember your first email address? >> Yeah, it was [email protected].

Did you name your lego characters? >> I didn’t have LEGO. I had Tinker Toys and an Erector set, neither of which came with little people iirc.

What was/is your high school’s mascot? >> ---

What is/was your favorite class in high school? >> ---

Is college an adventure? >> ---

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? >> I do not.

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? >> The Pill. Not for the birth-control function, though... not having sex covers that pretty well.

Who is your favorite cousin? >> ---

Do you look your age? >> According to other people, who apparently care about that sort of thing, no.

What’s your favorite flavor of frosting? >> ---

Do you like toe socks? >> No.

Muffins or cupcakes? >> Cupcakes, but rarely. I just don’t like muffins period.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? >> Probably.

How old were you when you got your first phone? >> Seventeen.

Are you ready for summer?!?! >> I will be in a couple of months, you can guarantee that.

Is winter your favorite season? >> No.

How many people do you know who’ve said winter is their favorite season? >> Quite a few, actually. I feel like I’ve encountered far more winter people than summer people. I see people complaining about warm weather constantly. I will never understand (even as a person who runs hot, I will still never understand). Even with the side effect of getting SAD in the winter, I love being solar powered.

Are you unique in any way? >> I mean, probably.

Do you have any hidden talents? >> No.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? >> ---

Who was your best friend in high school? >> ---

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? >> None.

What song makes you cry? >> Plenty, but I can’t think of one right now.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? >> ---

How many teachers have you had crushes on? >> I was thinking about this last night. Calling the obsession I had with that one teacher a “crush” is erroneous because... the reason why I felt the way I felt about him is because he was nice to me. Literally, that was it. I was freshly traumatised (and being in and out of the hospital was just re-traumatising me), had an attachment disorder and was emotionally neglected, and was used to being treated poorly. When I told That One Teacher that I cut myself, he gave me a hug. Like... groundbreaking! No one else had responded that way! Of course I was attached to him, he actually treated me like someone who deserved kindness and care. It’s really hard not to feel crushingly sad for teenage!me (and, as an extension, current!me, who is still bearing the effects of the past) when I think about that.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? >> I don’t really remember what I did with Barbie dolls.

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? >> ^

How old were you when you had your first kiss? >> ---

Do you like church? >> Eh. Depends on the church, I guess. I’ll always have affection for Black Church(tm).

Do you have scars from self-harm? >> Yep.

Do you have cellulite? >> A little, I think.

How old were you when you started getting zits? >> I had them through my teenage years.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? >> I don’t think so.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? >> I’ve been taller than that woman since I was 12.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? >> If I was ever going to raise a child, this would be the only way it’d happen.

Who was your first roommate? >> ---

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? >> Yup.

Is your mom paranoid? >> ---

Do you trim your own hair? >> I buzz my own head, yeah.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? >> I was not read bedtime stories as a child. I made up my own in my head instead.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? >> ---

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? >> Roxie.

Did you have your own room as a child? >> I did.

What color was your nursery? >> ---

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? >> I don’t know.

What is your name (first and middle)? >> Mordred Shadow.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? >> My name isn’t related to what my parent named me, and I have no idea what he would have named me if I was born the opposite sex.

Do you like your name? >> I like the one I gave myself, yes.

What would you name your children? >> ---

Do you exercise regularly? >> I’m again trying to do the take-a-daily-walk thing. Again. I fail every time, but I keep trying. Can Calah says there’s something good about that, better than failing and giving up on ever doing it again. I don’t know, but I’ll trust him on it.

Do you have a healthy BMI? >> I don’t know.

What is your favorite season? >> Spring.

Do you look like your mom? >> ---

What is the origin of your last name? >> I have no idea. I assumed that in this world, Stephen King made it up, but maybe he didn’t. The “canonical” origin of my last name is Gilead-That-Was.

What is the meaning of your first name? >> It’s unclear.

What month were you born in? >> May.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? >> ---

Do you have a sweet tooth? >> Nope.

What photo editing software do you use? >> I either use Paint to just resize or crop an image, or Pixlr if I need extra editing tools.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? >> There is no place where I buy the majority of my clothes. They come from all over.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

1 note · View note

generalasshattery · 5 years ago

Text

Better Know an Asshat

I decided to put together a little fax of questions I get a lot, if you have any other questions you can reply and I’ll tag them on!

—————————

Can you read this story/headcanon/Drabble I’ve been working on and give me some advice?

Yes! I absolutely can and will when the time is available. I am not a mean critic, and I will never say anything cruel about your work! The fact you wrote it at all is something to be proud of, so I’m happy to offer kind critique if you want it.

I have this story idea I’m working on, but I was wondering if you can give me some headcanons on x character that can help me?

So yes with a but. If the work is yours, I don’t want you to feel like you need to use me as a crutch because you aren’t confident in your own headcanons on the topic. I would be happy to discuss what your thoughts and personal headcanons, so you have someone to bounce your ideas off of.

Can I write something based off of your headcanons/stories?

You bet your ass you can, just @ me or send me a link so I can read it when you’re done!

When are you going to open requests again?

Idk man, I spoke with the seers, and the prophesies are grim for the near future.

How old are you?

30. I’ve skipped the “Fandom Mom” stage and slammed straight into “Smut Hag”

Are you willing to write about x?

Yes. If you like my writing and want to see yourself reflected in my work, I am honored by that, and will always do my best to write about it with compassion, empathy and dignity.

Okay but what about x (taboo subject)?

DM me directly if you have a question about this, I promise I will never be unkind. I’m a nonjudgmental sort, and if you ask me a question in good faith, I won’t react negatively. Also- and I reiterate this quite often, please never hesitate to ask me to add a tag to something. I never want people to find something that will make them miserable on my blog.

What about x character? Will you write for them?

Yep! Any MK character is free game. Yes, including Kano.

I want to make a request, but it’s so cringy and I’m embarrassed about it!

Feed me. Feed me your cringiest, most self indulgent, Mary-sue ass prompts. I am 30 years old, I don’t give a FUCK anymore. I love writing overly dramatic, blatant fantasy fuel, fluffiest of the fluff, angstiest of the angst stories. Let us join together in our bullshit.

Do you write for other fandoms?

Not currently. If I do, it’d probably get its own side blog.

This isn’t your main blog?

Nope! This is literally just where I drop my smut and derpy Headcanons off. That’s why you don’t see a lot of reblogging on here unless it’s directly related to the blog or something I’ve been doing. Not that I interact much on my main blog, I’m just a shy sort.

You don’t write as much as you used to :( is that going to change?

Probs not. I’m finally back to working and on a good schedule, which hypothetically means more writing. However, I am going to use that to attempt to get working on a novel. We’ll see. Who knows?

Who’s your favorite you write for?

That changes day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute.

Your romance stuff is so cute, where do you get ideas for it?

Y’all ready to barf? Because this is so cheesy it’s gonna make you lactose intolerant. A lot of my romance writing is influenced by the way my father talks about my mother. Never settle for anyone that doesn’t treat you like you hang the moon, even 40 years later.

You slipped a few OCs in as reader inserts haven’t you?

You’re god damned right I have.

How do you come up with your headcanons and make them feel so in character?

I rely heavily on things like intro dialogues and cut scenes to pick up things about characters. Even if they aren’t canon they say a lot about how a person behaves. If I haven’t written for a character in a while, I’ll go rewatch all their intros just to get the vibe they send out back on my brain. This is why I don’t feel as confident writing for characters that don’t have as much content. When I’m faced with that dilemma, I just go back and read their histories and use what canon I have. Then I just kind of use my own empathy to reflect heavily about how someone that lived that way would be.

Of course, with a property like Mortal Kombat the characters are very much in flux from game to game. Some characters have the benefit of that being a storyline thing (Johnny Cage) and some are wildly inconsistent because NRS tends to think from a marketing first perspective and may change characters to fit into a concept or theme they’re packaging with the game (also Johnny Cage, but everyone else too). Johnny became a good dad because NRS wanted their big anniversary game to be all about next gen. Of course then they made everyone’s favorite characters to old/undead to carry a franchise... so retcons. I’m not bitter, you’re bitter. I’m digressing, the point is, sometimes with my headcanons I have to make a firm decision on the ever changing characterizations and just run with it.

Some characters were benefitted by this, imo, though. MK11 is by far my favorite Hanzo and Scorpion. Even though they did Kabal dirty, I really like the way they wrote his personality, and it confirmed a few headcanons I had about him already. And Erron picked up some major fucking swag along the way. I’m still digressing this literally has nothing to do with that question.

One more thing before I move on, because I’m already ranting anyway. They stole Cassie’s badassery because they put Frost in the game, and apparently there’s only room for one edgy-haircutted gay coded woman. I’m not saying this to shit on Frost, I really love writing for her. But! MKX Cassie Cage is the best Cassie Cage.

So anyway, that’s my most common questions answered with a bonus rant!

#asshat answers

15 notes · View notes

grimoire-of-geekery · 5 years ago

Text

Adult asks answered!

Warning: I am a curmudgeon, and some of these opinions may come across as mean, rude, or overly critical. This is intentional. Get off my lawn.

1: Exactly how long have you been in your current relationship?

15 years almost exactly with my first husband. Closer to 9 years with my second husband, 7 with my third, and 4 with my fiance. And yes, I'm still with them all, so they all count as "current relationships!" *laughs maniacally in polyamorous*

2: Most recent purchase over $500.

Phones. LOL we had to get everyone new phones, like last year. We’re still three iGenerations behind.

3: How much of the furniture you own is the kind you have to build yourself?

None. All of the furniture we have is bought from places like Rent-A-Center, from a vintage or thrift store, or we inherited it.

4: If you were to acquire a baby tomorrow what would you name it?

Uhhh... "Someone Else's Problem." Or maybe "Cauldron," last name "Fodder."

5: How often do you change your sheets...really.

Like once a month. Yeah, I know...

6: Biggest adult decision ever:

Buying a house!

7: More immature thing you do on a regular basis.

Get into stupid arguments for no reason? I dunno, I try to curb my immature impulses. I like being a geek, some people think that’s immature. I don’t think it is, though, so they can suck it.

8: Biggest bill you pay.

Mortgage, probably. It’s not a bad payment though.

9: Smallest bill you pay.

Netflix. Either that or our subscription to Final Fantasy XIV.

10: What small responsibility do you get the most excited over?

Having a house key (which I don't always carry with me), because I wasn't ever allowed to have one as a kid.

11: List your kids from most tolerable to least tolerable based on the past 24 hours.

...

Tada! That's the list! *laughs even louder in child-free*

12: Favorite year of school?

I hated school. Mostly because of the other students.

13: Have you actually thought about retirement?

Yes! We have a plan, actually. Where we want to live, what kind of house we want to have, who will have to die or "disappear" so we can live there without issues... It's a whole big thing!

14: Is sex better now than it was in high school/college?

Eh, it's good, but I'm not in as good of shape as I used to be, so I'd say probably about even. We’ve gotten better in technique, and we know each other better after all these years, but my health’s gotten slightly worse.

15: Do you own sex toys?

OF COURSE?! Who doesn’t own sex toys these days??

16: Favorite place in your home?

My living room. :D That or my ritual room. Neither is perfectly set up yet, though.

17: What's making you feel old?

There are people in this world having CHILDREN who have never existed in a world without Spongebob Squarepants. :/

18: What do you drive?

I don't drive personally. But our family car is an Escalade.

19: What adult responsibility do you loathe?

TAXES. That and the DMV and getting my stupid ID renewed. Oh, and probably voting.

20: The last time you did shots?

Not a thing I do.

21: What aggravates you about teenagers nowadays?

The same thing I've always hated about young people, ever since I was one. Casual cruelty.

22: 5 biggest pet peeves.

1) Cisgender heterosexual men, like everything about that entire social role. The smug superiority that comes with being a cisgender male with conventionally average sexuality... dude, it doesn't make you special, it makes you boring and probably dangerous. Shut. The fuck. Up. 2) People who put their damn food or soft drink on my altars! Makes me want to sit on their lap and pass gas. RUDE. 3) People who touch my hair or jewelry without asking, and people who get offended if they ask and I say no. Swear to gods, next person gets a throat punch. 4) How people use social media. People never post anything really good or important, they only ever post their inane and often-poorly-researched opinions, or lies they want people to believe about their lives. 5) People who use their mental illness, marginalized status, or other misfortunes as an excuse for abusive behavior. Being neurodivergent doesn't justify being an asshole, nor does your fibromyalgia, poverty state, sexual orientation or gender identity, or any other feature of your life. Speaking as someone who has mental and physical health issues, a marginalized religion and queer identity, and who is a person of color- THIS DOESN'T EXCUSE US FROM BEING ASSHOLES.

23: What are your shows right now?

Rewatching Once Upon a Time, which is awesome, cuz I have never related to a TV character so much as I relate to Regina Mills. I'm also a big fan of Dragon Prince, and the new Charmed, Sabrina, and She-Ra!

24: Have your political views changed since you left school?

Nope, they've just grown.

25: What's changed the most since 5 years ago?

I'm way more tired than I used to be. And fatter. And my back's fucked up.

5 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

Text

Survey #235

“the monster you made is wearing the crown; i’ll be the king and you be the clown.”

What is your favorite move franchise? The Lion King. What was the last fast food you ate? I had a hot dog from Sonic and one of those pretzel twists things. What is the saddest book you’ve ever read? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. Do you prefer heroes or villains? Villains. Duh. They're like, always more interesting. What is something you think is overrated? Uhhh coffee, for one. But like what you like. What political cause are you most passionate about? Gay rights. What country would you most like to visit? South Africa. Have you ever considered having children? Literally the only period where I wanted kids was later into Jason's and my relationship. Hell, I wanted three while he was always like "onLY TWO." Now, I don't want a single one, ever. I would be an awful mother for many reasons. If you ever took field trips as a child, which was your favorite? The zoo with Dad, my then-best friend, and her mom. One and only time I've seen meerkats. I was so excited I almost cried. Do you have any weird family traditions? It's not like, a tradition, I think, but we have a unique thing where saying "I love you mostest period" is something Mom, Dad, and my sisters have used for all my life. It's a way of saying "I love you more than you could ever love me, no arguments." Now Sara's been dragged into it lmao. Have you ever considered acting? Nope. Who was the last person you slept next to? Sara. Do you think you can be in love and still cheat on your S.O.? You can't "be in love" with a person and fucking cheat on them, no. Do you subscribe to any streaming services? We have Netflix. Idk about anything else. Have you ever been in a physical fight? No. What is the most embarrassing thing anyone has on video of you? I don't even wanna know. Did you ever get lost as a child? Yep, in a Wal-Mart lmao. This old lady helped me find my fam. What is your favorite condiment? Honey mustard. Or ketchup. Depends. Have you ever had an existential crisis? Very surprisingly, not really. Do you like country music? Begone, demon. It's still so weird to me that I loved it as a kid, but I really just grew up with it. What color are the eyes of the person you love? Brown. What is your favorite kind of flower? I looooove orchids. What town were you born in? Not the best thing to share on the Internet, eh? Do you know how to play any card games? I only vaguely understood/understand Magic: The Gathering. It's honestly really fun, but very complex in rules. It was Jason's thing so he got me into it. I miss my PS3 working because I used to have the "Duels of the Planeswalkers" on there, and doing it digitally is much easier and helpful. I loved it mostly because the art is fucking incredible. It was an old little aspiration to wind up designing the art some day and I don't think I ever saw Jason more excited. What is something about your childhood that you miss? Being more into video games than I am now alskdjf;awe. I'm more of a viewer of let's plays now than an active gamer; meanwhile, as a kid, video games were my favorite things in the world. Did you ever have MySpace? Do you miss those days? Yeah, I had one. Honestly though I can barely remember it (other than the song on my page was "Pocketful of Sunshime" lmaooooo as well meerkat-flooded), so it doesn't matter. What is the best television show you’ve ever watched? Meerkat Manor is my favorite show of all time, but as a proper show could have been better. AP made up their own shit and deviated from the KMP facts A LOT (guess what: Mozart killed a competitor's litter before; not exactly MM's her, right?), and not only was that confusing, but just annoying. Give me the real shit; don't just tweak stuff for dramatic effect. I could list a novel of lies in the series. Now, what I feel is the best show without a meerkat bias and just has an overall good plot. I kinda wanna say Supernatural, but the boys dying five million times got old. Possibly Fullmetal Alchemist. Are there any songs you can’t listen to because they bring back memories? I 110% refuse to hear "Stairway to Heaven." Have you ever saved someone’s life? Funny this is brought up after recent events. My sweetheart online bud had a cerebral aneurysm while having an extremely difficult time talking to me, and no one was home quite yet. Her final message was concerning and she didn't reply to me for a while, so I wound up messaging her again after a bit, and her boyfriend heard the b.net notification sound. Saw it was me and asked what was up. Told him, and he figured out she wasn't sleeping on the couch, she was passed out. He told me he never would have known if I hadn't said something. So does that count, even though I didn't like, physically save her? Have you ever broken any major bones? No. Are there any websites you’ve used for over 10 years? Good question? Idk. WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP, KM's 10th birthday is coming up real soon. Wow. I know YouTube has been much longer. Idr when I joined deviantART. Maybe there's more, I dunno. Do you have any siblings? If so, what are their ages? My two immediate are 22 (ew) and 26 (double ew). Anything exciting taking place today? No, today was A N X I E T Y !! ! ! !! !! What are you craving? Okay so I have been MEGA in "the mood" lately and it's frustrating especially because I don't masturbate so I have like nO OUTLET. Who did you last hit? Nobody saving for when I was a kid repeatedly slapped my sister's arm for doing something I don't remember. How do you do in school? It depends on the subject, but in anything, I am a MASSIVE procrastinator, and I need to fix that. Schoolwork, good good, homework in the library, good good, but when I'm at home, I cannot seem to convince myself to work. As Sara puts it, home is like my "safe" place, and I don't want to bring school into it. Adjusting to school life again after like... two whole years or so of doing NOTHING at all, almost every day all day, is very difficult. I'm SO glad I picked school again, it's just a lot for a person who was so isolated and void of responsibilities to get used to. What’s your biggest goal? Right now, continue to improve my mental health. Fight social anxiety and AvPD. Who have you texted today? Just Sara. Who do you aspire to be like when you grow up? In most ways, especially in kindness, wisdom, relentless determination, passion, creativity, etc. etc. etc. etc., Mark. I think it's obvious he's Role-Model #1. I would loooove to be like Jane Goddall and Steve Irwin, too, feeling with such ferocious potency for animals and how they should be respected and loved. UM AND ALSO, EUGENIA COONEY IS THE SWEETEST PERSON ON THE ENTIRE GODDAMN EARTH AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE AS FRIENDLY AND PRECIOUS AS SHE IS. Oh, and then there's Shane Dawson. I relate to him SO much. He is the most selfless angel that seems SO down-to-earth and relatable as hell. I feel like he could be like, my best friend. Ahhhhhhh there are so many more, I love talking about my inspirations, but I'll chill here. Do you know if you want to go to college or not? I'm in college right now, and I desperately want it to stay that way. I'm fucking going somewhere in my life, and the education it provides will bring me closer to that. College is far from mandatory for everyone, but I feel it is beneficial for me. Do you like grapefruits? I haven't had one in a LONG time, so I don't really remember how they taste. I just know sour. What do you think of guys who wear eyeliner? *drools in Darkiplier* the fuck do you think Do you like online games? Only World of Warcraft, really. Who’s one person you care about more than yourself? Okay, real talk, and I hope this is everybody's answer. No one. I'm putting my goddamn self and my mental peace first for the rest of my life. Are there any pets you’re wishing for? I want another ball python. When’s the last time you used hand sanitizer? Two days ago when Mom and I stopped somewhere to eat. Wearing anything that isn’t yours? No. What type of bread did you use on the last sandwich you made? White. How many doors are in your house? Uhhh six. What was the last compliment you received, that made you smile? Sara said she was really proud of me, and to me, that's one of the biggest compliments you CAN give me. Think you need to lose weight? How much? ugh When was the last time you watched a VHS movie? I don't have a clue. We kept our VHS longer than most, though. We had too many movies on it. What event would you go back in time to see, if you could? Ummmm I dunno. Do you remember the last thing you said you wanted? To hug Sara. Who was the last friend you hung out with&what’d you do together? Sara stayed for a week. We did a lot. Who is the person, other than a spouse, that you are closest to? Sara. If you watched it, who was your favorite Hey Arnold! character? Oh my god, I hated that stupid show, but one of my sisters liked it. Have any good school pictures? or do they all just suck? There is literally ONE picture from elementary school where I think I looked pretty. Do you like trying on clothes or not? & Why? NO. I try to avoid it if I can. It's just annoying to change clothes for like five seconds. What are your thoughts on marriage? It's sweet, but I've come to find it... kinda needless for the most part? Like I know it has financial pluses and the symbolism is beautiful, but it's just that: symbolism originating from fantasies (imo, don't scream at me). It only adds pressure to stay in a dying relationship and makes splitting much more complicated. BUT, even with all that said, I personally want to get married someday, but only if I am *sure* about this person. It's the symbolism I like. That and it's so ingrained into my head that that's the "end goal" of relationships, so I'm pretty much just conditioned to want it. How long have you lived in the current place you’re living? Two years. Do you plan on moving anytime soon, if so where? I want to, but I am not in the financial position or at a level of independence where I'm ready for that. Are you more of a follower, or a leader? Be honest. This may alter with the situation, but mostly, I'm definitely a follower. Are your dreams/nightmares in black&white or color? I've heard of this condition before and it really intrigues me. I dream in color. Have you ever wanted to be some sort of hero outside of video games? I mean, define "hero." Like an action superhero in a literal way, nooooo. I'd die on Day #1, lmao. As a hero/inspiration as a person, of course; who doesn't? Will you admit that you’re at least somewhat superficial? I mean, probably in some places? How often do you go to the mall closest to you? Almost never ever. Our mall sucks and has experienced too many shootings. Do you still count with your fingers, even if only every so often? Yep. Like, always. Have you ever gone on a road trip with just friends? No. Well, I went to the beach with my friend and her mom, but just for a day or two because my separation anxiety from Mom got too bad oof. Without trying, do you act differently around different friends? Depends on the friend. I don't "fake it," just how reserved I am can move around. What was the last thing you drew/wrote on your own or someone else's skin? Probably a butterfly on my wrists when I was actively part of the Butterfly Project community. The last time you spent money, what was it on & how much did you spend? $1.25 for a drink at school. What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on one piece of clothing? Idk, but definitely not a lot. In elementary school, were you more of the bully or the bullied? Thankfully, neither. Do you like when a spouse is clingy, or can you not stand that? I'm sure to a certain degree it would be annoying, but for the most part, hell, I think it's attractive. Especially since I NEED validation you like me. How much do you say you walk in a week outside of school &/or work? Just around my house if you exclude school. Is there anything you wish your parents did differently in raising you? I wish they'd given us chores. Wish Mom didn't spank us. What would you do if the last person you texted asked you out? Lol yo we JUST broke up like an hour ago. We're not ready to get back together yet, obviously. Don't worry a bit, we're both cool. Still best friends, even. To compress a long story, needed personal growth and distance have brought us to returning to just friends. For now, at least. Have you ever received a scholarship? I think so... but not like a huge one, I believe. Who was the last person who got frustrated with you? Most likely Mom. When was the last time you mopped your kitchen floor? I myself have never mopped it. Or maybe once. What is your favorite work of art? I mentioned the Denialism painting in my last survey. What was the last appointment or plan you had to cancel? Plan, my next one with my psychiatrist. What spur-of-the-moment decision that you’ve made has had the biggest impact on your life? I don't know if any have truly changed my life. The ones that did (that I remember) were pondered over. Do you know anyone who is (or has been) a refugee? I don't think so, What is your best friend’s worst habit? She doesn't have faith in herself for ANYTHING lj;ljalwie Do you like spinach and artichoke dip? alksd;fjwei no Have you ever felt like you were about to pass out, but didn’t? Yep, a couple times. What was the name of one of your childhood imaginary friends? I didn't have any. What’s your favorite phase of the moon? Full. Do you wish you were richer? I physically refuse to be anything less than stable, hopefully even above that, once I'm independent. We've been poor all my life and it is fuck-ing HARD. It's stressful as a motherfucker and I am done with it. Very. What’s a middle name you like? Quinn. Fits a lot. I planned on giving that middle name to my hypothetical daughter. Are you scared of spiders? y e a h Do you weigh the same as your mom? No. Were you a Mary-Kate and Ashley fan? Like the average 90s/early 2000s kid. Coffee mugs, teacups, or water bottles? Uh, aesthetically? Teacups, probably. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Gum. I like the taste and texture of cotton candy, it is just RIDICULOUSLY sweet. It bothers my sensitive teeth sometimes. Do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles or cups? Cans. They get the coldest. Game you were best at in P.E./gym? Idk, I didn't excel at any. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I'll typically just have a meal replacement shake or a Pop-Tart. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Sour Punch Straws (gotta be red). Favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? My flip-flops, 'cuz they're easy to just slip on. Ideal weather? Cool but not windy (a light breeze is fine) with a partly-cloudy sky. Obsession from childhood? Webkinz. Favorite crystal? Dragon's breath opal. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Swim or stay the fuck inside. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Taking pictures in the snow. Five songs to describe you? "Get Up" by Mother Mother, "That's What You Get" by Paramore, uhhh... I don't feel like thinking over this any longer. My iPod isn't near me to scan through what I have, so yeah. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's have deep philosophical talks about like the meaning of life 'n shit. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh my god, this is impossible. To name some that come to mind first, in no order: "It's Wednesday, m'dudes *insert mating call*", "I cOUld'vE dROPPED My croiSSANt," "this is why mom doesn't FUCKING LOVE YOU," that one at a club where a girl is doing smoke tricks and the dude just goes "check that out" (or "wow," idr) or something similar (I couldn't find it), and omfg I adore that Snoop Dogg one with the little boy just semi-dancing to that iconic song???? I LOVE IT??????? Man, there are so so many more. Very honorable mention: "a d a m". Ads you have stuck in your head? None, thankfully. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Uhhh maybe Happy Bunny? Idk. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite type of cheese? American. What saying or quote do you live by? There's a lot I've picked up on and cling to. #1 is perhaps "Deal with life, or life deals with you." What are you currently stressed about? Some... things I realized about myself that disgust me. Favorite fairy tale? Shrek is a goddamn fairy tale and I will fight to the death against anyone who claims otherwise. Favorite tradition? I don't really have one anymore, but I remember as a kid, I would NEVER let Mom forget to throw some "reindeer food" outside for them lol. Talent you’re proud of having? One that warrants pride, exactly? Not just random talents? Well, uhhh. I suppose writing. I mean it modestly, I really do, but as a kid, my teachers all the way through high school always thought I was cheating or a parent did my papers at home. Some were only convinced by me writing in the classroom. I don't feel as good about my writing as I did in high school, but I am sill proud of excelling in it and taking writing anywhere seriously. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? I mean, name the game and genre here. Probably like "what the fuck" at like, everything, because I already do that. If you were an anime character, what genre of anime would it be? Like, based on my current life? I dunno. A sad and repetitive one with some bright days to it. Ohhh, and the color scheme and lighting vary with my mental state. Yo that would be dope. Character you relate to? lmao THRALL from WoW for being like "can y'all bastards just chill tf out" until he goes off to an isolated land away from civilization bc he's seen enough shit. Also compelled to help. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? As far as consistent flavors go, normally cherry or grape. Left or right handed? I'm a righty. Favorite potato food? Fries, when I wish they weren't. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Literally just Mom's. Not even mine.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

10 notes · View notes

the-kitteh · 5 years ago

Note

*pokes the Kitteh* You know those writer asks? *Grins evilly* Do all of them.

I SWEAR TO ALL THAT’S UNHOLY, MEG!!!!

Also @journeythroughtherain, your questions will be answered in one heap.

1. What is your preferred place to write (notebook,laptop, cellphone, etc.)?

Laptop when I have access to one and notebook when I’m travelling.

2. When did you start writing?

When I was but a wee, 15 yo kitling.

3. What is your favorite thing to write?

Romance, though I’m pretty good with crach humor fics as well.

4. Fluff or angst?

5. How would you describe your style?

Emotional soft with a sad and/or angsty edge. Depends on the day I’mhaving.

6. Where do you usually find inspiration?

It just comes and goes, like a goddamn wave.

7. Do you listen to music to help you write?

YES ALWAYS

8. What’s the biggest “challenge” for you as a writer?

Keep shit together. It stems from the fact I can’t write linear to save mylife so putting together a million or so scenes to make one coherent story isthe biggest challenge for me.

9. Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, livingroom, etc.)?

I either steal some time at work or write in the living room.

10. Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP?

Sure! Have some mer!AU:

“Until one day, somethingchanges. it’s almost closing time at the aquarium, and he’s been in the back ofthe tank, lingering in the shadows for the better part of the day. The visitorswere especially noisy today, constantly poking and knocking at the glass, thevibrations rattling his bones.

He’s glad for the comfort the man-made structures ofhis tank provide, where the artificial lights aren’t as bright, aren’t aspainful on his eyes.

Someone stops near his house and home and he grimaces,waits for the knocking to start.

None does for the longest of time - the announcementto hurry up and leave blaring through the aquarium already - and finally, cautiously,he peeks out. There’s a boy in front of his tank, his image distorted by glassand water alike but he’s simply standing there, patient and silent andunmoving.

And so he swims out, shows himself as he is becausehe’s suddenly curious about this bubble gum-colored twig of a boy.

Once he’s up close, he sees that the boy looks likethe seashells he dreams about sometimes - he’s all cream and pink, with sharp,sharp edges he wants to test his fingers against.”

11. How many stories have you written so far?

AO3 has 27 works, but there’s a bunch over at ff.net as well and over atlivejournal, not to mention the ones I never published anywhere. Consideringhow productive I was during my JRock phase and my anime/manga years, I think itcircles between 100-150 so not overly much?

12. What’s your favorite thing that you ever wrote?

Ruins.

“and amidst the ruins, there was you” hands down. There are no words todescribe how much I love that story and how proud I am of both myself and thefic.

13. How many chapters does your longest series has?

“Anywhere” takes that particular title with 24 chapters.

14. What’s your favorite character/person to write for?

Aiveana Yumi are always a pleasure to write when it comes to OCs, and Tonyis just SO good to write for I want to die.

15. “OCs” or “Reader”inserts?

OCs!!! I love those ;.;

16. Can you tell us anything about your current WIP?

The one currently being posted? Soulmate AU where one part of the bondedpair believes he is soulmate-less and the other hates the concept of beingbonded with a passion.

17. How long was the longest fic you ever wrote?

That’s…. that’s probably the Jointverse. That one clocks in with 149 528 words and I probably shouldmentioned that it covers about half ofthe canon timeline so far….

18. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently that’s kpop and Marvel (WinterIron). Other fandoms include MassEffect and Dragon Age, Final Fantasy 7. I used to write for Bleach, Weiss Kreuzand Magic Knight Rayearth, as well as a bunch of RPFs in regards to Jrock.

19. What is/ are your favorite fandom author/authors?

…….. nope. No answering that, I wll not list half of the bloody server inhere!

20. Have you ever written an AU?

Yes and I loved it more than I thought I would.

21. What’s your favorite AU trope?

Apparently, dystopian AUs. I love all things soulmates too.

22. A fanfiction cliché you can’t help but love?

Friends to lover with a pinch of mutual pining and misunderstandings. Watchme die slow and happy.

23. For how long have you been a fandom writer?

Pretty much ever since I started writing, it was for fandoms, so 20 years?

24. Have you ever had an idea for story and forgot aboutit?

Probably? I forget so many things I can’t say with all certainity this hasnever happened to me XD

25. What do you do to motivate yourself to write?

I literally guilt trip myself into writing XD

26. How did you find out you like to write?

In all honesty, I just … started writing, I thik it was Sailor Moonrelated? And it was so much fun that it just stuck.

27. Are there any writers (fanfiction writers or not) thathave inspired you to start writing?

A polish criminal stories writer, her books accompany me tothis day and Iwanted to write just like her so I picked up a pen one day.

There are a few fandom writers that have inspired me to be better and paymore attention to my writing or who were there to support me when I wasdoubting my worth as a writer. I’ll be forever grateful for them

28. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

Currently, I love writing my WinterIron – because of the people there and becauseof how many story ideas I managed to come up with

29. Describe your style in three words.

Soft Emo vomit.

30. What would you say it’s the most “famous” fic you’veever written?

I think it’s the “Moments” series with @mistrstank cause I pitched in with akickass co-author there?

31. Blurbs or drabbles?

Blurbs.

32. Have you ever written smut?

Yup.

33. How long does it usually take for you to write?

Depeeeends? Depends on my mood, on my work load and on the story itself.Ruins took me 9 months to write, while “pain and sorrow” was written in 2 days.

34. What’s your favorite font to use when writing?

Cambria.

35. Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics?

I think shorter ones. I’m rather good within the first 10K, but lately Ican’t plan for shit really cause a story I planned to wrap up under 10Kcurrently’s reaching 41K so….

Your mileage may vary I guess.

36. How do you keep yourself inspired?

Uh. It just.. happens? I brainstorm sometimes, or see something that sparksup the urge to write something specific, or there’s a quote I particularlylike.

37. Have you ever written something you didn’t like butposted anyways?

No I don’t think I ever did something like that.

38. What is your “strong suit” as a writer?

I am very good at the emotional side of things.

39. What’s your favorite trope?

I have a hugeass soft spot for all coffeeshop AUs.

Shocking.

I know.

40. How many likes do your fics usually get?

I literally have no idea how to measure that? Not as many as I would likeXD

41. Have you ever used a prompt?

Sure, prompts are lovely!

42. What is your weakness as a writer?

I’m impatient. I sometimes want to post before being really through withthe chapter or a one-shot and I sometimes don’t catch all of the mistakes ortypos. Having a beta ( hi @eirlyssa

43. Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while readingsomething you wrote?

Yes. I wrote a death scene that sent me crying.

44. Have you ever done a collab with other writer?

JointVerse in a way is a major collab and as previously stated Moments

45. One thing you love about fanfiction.

The freedom it gives.

46. What’s your favorite emotion to cause on your readers?

If I make them happy when they finish a story or when I get a commentsaying how a reader held their breath.

47. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

The way that it calms me down and makes me happy to be doing what I love.

48. Do you post your writing in any other platforms?

AO3.

49. What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad,etc.)?

Google Docs.

50. One thing you don’t like about fanfiction.

Probably the fact that it’s downplayed as much as it is, because it’s not “original”.And that some people feel entitled to be demanding and rude about it, justbecause they get stuff for free.

51. Least favorite trope?

A/B/O settings and high school AUs.

52. Favorite words to use when writing?

I KNOW I have a pretty much a trademark phrase or two, but currently, I amunable to cite any of them????

53. Least favorite words?

a little bit NSFW here, but I really dislike the word “cum”.

54. Do you usually like what you write?

I’ve been learning to love what I write

#meg i will throttle you #gently and with love but i will #rebelmeg

10 notes · View notes

thereunionvii · 5 years ago

Text

Operation Reunion -The Fight for FFVIIR Legacy Cast FAQ

Hi there. I'm glad you're here. My name is Kelsey and I am a part of this wonderful movement known as Operation Reunion -a passionate, dedicated group of Final Fantasy 7 fans aiming to return the original English voice cast/our beloved VAs back to the remake. I’ll be more than happy to answer some of the more common questions that have come our way.

Q: Why are you doing this?

A: I'm a fan that loves Final Fantasy. Final Fantasy 7 in particular holds a special place in my heart. The original FF7 English voice cast introduced in Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, and Crisis Core are utterly PHENOMENAL. Many of these same VAs have been in other series I've grown with and they have been near and dear to me for a long time. They are talented and they clearly GET these FF7 characters to where they've always been just as irreplaceable as the original Japanese cast.

Q: Even Steve Burton?

A: YES. Absolutely. I'm not even a General Hospital fan (and that's putting it nicely) but Steve has always blown me away as Cloud. He just IS Cloud. He's played Cloud for almost 20 years, that doesn't happen if you aren't good and don't have the fan support. A lot of us here were ecstatic to have the English cast return for the remake.

Q: So, obviously they're not in the remake now. Did they just not want to do it?

A: Actually. . .no. . .it's far more complicated than that. . .The original EN and JP cast was always planned to return. In 2015 Gematsu interviews, producer Yoshinori Kitase and director Tetsuya Nomura repeated that the only voices that were left undecided at the moment were the ones that never had VAs such as Biggs, Wedge, Jessie, etc. In the 2017 trailer, Steve Burton and Beau Billingslea (Barret) are clearly still there. Steve Burton and George Newbern (Sephiroth) even returned for Dissidia NT only last year. Quinton Flynn (Reno and Axel (Kingdom Hearts) ) even returned just this year for Kingdom Hearts 3.

Despite all that, Kitase, who is not even the director and has no control over the localization made the absolutely feckless, unwarranted, and disrespectful decision to remove the entire cast-from what it seems right before the State of Play trailer. None of the actors were ever told they were being replaced and only found out along with the rest of us this was even happening. Some like Quinton Flynn and Crispin Freeman are STILL not even sure they'll be asked back for the remake. To all of them, this change was just as much as a shock, and they were all very happy, willing, and beyond excited to come back as well. . .

Q: Won't the original cast at least be back for side projects? Kitase said so. . . .

A: Yes, Kitase claims they are keeping this "legacy" cast for future side projects but even if that were the case, WHAT side projects? Kingdom Hearts and Dissidia are pretty much done. Square has no control over Smash Bros. either. . .Everybody is busy with the FF7 remake and then the eventual FF8 remaster. There are ZERO "side projects" planned at the moment. Kitase's statements are just the "polite" way of confirming an entire cast was replaced without notice, even to the VAs themselves. . .

Q: Didn't the original FF7 not have voice acting?

A: Aww.. . .you're cute. . .Let's be real though. The remake was always going to have voice acting. Voice acting is a staple of 99% of major video game releases. Square has done voice acting for FF ever since FF10. And Square has always provided an English dub along with the original Japanese cast.

Q: Shouldn't we get a fresh, new experience with new VAs? This IS a remake. . . .

A: The original Japanese voice cast has ALWAYS stayed the same. The official Japanese cast list has never changed for anything FF7-related. Japan gets to keep all their original voice cast for the remake. It was only the English cast that got the abrupt and rude dismissal. . .

Q: I don't know, is it just too late to change this? The new VAs must be too far along. . .

A: Nope. Based on all existing evidence so far, and the fact NONE of the original VAs were made aware that they were being replaced, this change just happened. Likely just before the State of Play trailer. So at most, probably a mere 2-3 months ago. . .

Q: Did Square ever say anything about this beforehand?

A: No. Aside from a deliberately veiled 2017 interview https://www.siliconera.com/2017/02/22/final-fantasy-vii-remakes-voicing-main-story-pretty-much-completed/ that could have meant just about anything (and take a note that it says the voice acting is pretty much finished at this point. . .), Square gave ZERO warning to either the fans or the cast that this was going to happen. Even after the State of Play trailer, Square refused to give any official announcement over a new cast until E3, a mere two weeks ago. . .

Q: Why haven't I heard anything about this from Kotaku/GameInformer/Gamespot/IGN/my favorite video game news publication? Didn't you try to contact them?

A: Yes. I have tried. Several times already. So have several people from Operation Reunion. We haven't heard a response from anyone and the VA announcement rarely gets a passing glance in these publications as well. . .

Q: Have you tried Youtube? What about my favorite Youtuber who LOVES Final Fantasy? Why haven't they talked about it?

A: Beats me. . .Without naming anyone, I and several other members tried to get in contact with several popular Youtubers who are clear FF7 fans. The clear answer is that most of them are simply not interested, even if it might of interest to their fans. However, we are currently working on our own Youtube channel so stay tuned for some updates and more fun on that one.

Q: Okay. . .but why don't you give the new cast a chance?

A: Believe me, neither I nor anyone from Operation Reunion hold any malice towards the new cast. For the record, I actually kind of liked some of them. . .We have NOT, do not, or will not support, encourage, or endorse ANYONE to go out of their way to attack the new cast. . .HOWEVER. . .that doesn't change the fact the original English voice cast was always going to return, they always wanted to return, and Square replaced them at the very last minute. . .And that the original English cast deserves to be a part of the remake just as much as the original Japanese cast. . .

Q: But. . . what's done is done right? I mean, Capcom keeps replacing Resident Evil voice actors? Kojima replaced David Hayter as Snake for the last true Metal Gear titles. . .

A: Just because other people have done this sort of thing before doesn't make it okay. It will never be okay. I never forgave Capcom for sacking Paul Mercier, my favorite Leon VA. Nor when they fired Sally Cahill (Ada Wong), and refused to bring back Alyson Court, the ONLY voice for Claire since the beginning, for the RE2 remake because they didn't want to pay her more money, and found an actress who would be willing to do it cheap-which is a disrespectful to both those women. . .

What Kojima did to David Hayter, who will ALWAYS be Snake and has been Snake since Day One of Metal Gear Solid, was always unforgivable as well. . .Honestly, the Metal Gear fans should have rallied harder to bring Hayter back. THAT should have been the tipping point. . . but that is another matter. . .

But what Square did to their FF7 English voice cast. .. that is simply a new level of low in my eyes. . .This is replacing an ENTIRE CAST without warning and without their knowledge in the matter. . . An entire cast that has been loved and adored by fans for over a decade now. . .

As for "what's done is done". . .NO. . .The English voice actors always should come back. And given that the remake is split into multiple installments, it is a fairly easy fix for Square to bring them back. Which is what this petition is for. . .

Q: But. . .that's unprecedented?!?!?!

A: Quite. But it never should have happened where the English cast was replaced. I will refer to this awesome comment left by the remarkable Fidgety Aura: "If Netflix can manage two or more audio options for languages I'm sure the developers can figure this out to let the new cast shine for newer fans without disrespecting the original English cast or all the English speaking fans."

The remake is slated to have a dual audio feature, it is not out of Square Enix's power to bring back the old LEGACY cast.

Q: But. . .isn't it just a "voice" after all?

A: NO. Voice actors are just as important and just as worthy of respect and recognition as any other actor. (Kotaku may not think so https://kotaku.com/why-excellent-video-game-voice-actors-cant-or-shouldnt-5821597.) English dub anime/video game VAs still don't get the credit, appreciation, and respect their deserve either. . .And that just finally needs to change. . .Replacing an entire cast is a VERY dangerous and slippery message to send to the video game industry-that any and all of our beloved VAs, any ACTORS are simply "disposable" at any given moment. . .

Q: Why don't you just stick to the sub?

A: Doesn't change anything. . .A lot of people love the original English cast as is and still want them back. Nor does that change what Square did to them. . .They always deserved to be a part of this remake. . .And they deserve to be brought back. . .

Q: But do the VAs even want to come back?

A: Yes. Both Quinton Flynn and Crispin Freeman have stated that they'd love nothing more than to come for some more Reno and Rude. Steve Blum has said he would love to come back-he "loves Vincent." George Newbern has said he's "always ready to assist if Square changes their minds." Steve Burton, Jamieson Price (Reeve), and Wally Wingert (Rufus) have all given support to this petition in some way. . .These VAs were just as excited to come back for the remake as we were. . .They still want to come back if given the opportunity. And they deserve every opportunity to come back. . .

Q: What can I do to help?

A: We have a petition to bring back the original English cast like they were always supposed to. . .If this matters as much to you as it does to us, please take a moment of your time to sign the petition. Share the petition with everyone you know. Keep tweeting Square Enix's official Twitter channels and comment on their Facebook pages that you want this to happen. . .Send the message that this is NOT OKAY and we all want our beloved voice actors back. Keep contacting your favorite Youtubers to do a video on this and keep contacting you favorite video game news publications to cover this story. We definitely have some fun things planned once we reach 777 and 1,000 signatures so stay tuned.

Q: But what can *I* really do? I'm. . .me. . .and Square is. . .Square. . .

A: A lot more than you give yourself credit for, actually. As a fan, it is your right to voice when you know something is just not right. No one can ever take that away from you. As a fan, you deserve respect, even to yourself. As for Square, they are never infallible nor impervious to criticism. If you are not happy with Square, you have the right to say, "NO. I do not like this. . .Here's why. . ." If you even just get involved for one person, do it for YOURSELF. Make Square respect you.

Q: Can I offer any ideas/suggestions that might help?

A: Oh, YES. Absolutely. Any new ideas/suggestions are always encouraged. This is a fan group made up of FANS, so there's nothing wrong with having a little fun with this along the way. . .And we're always happy to have anyone on board.

Thank you everyone for all your support, kindness, dedication, and just overall awesomeness. . .And anyone who wants to join. . .Welcome, and we're always happy to have you. . .Let's make this happen. . .

#ffviir #operationreunion #returnfinalfantasy7voiceactors #george newbern #quinton flynn #steve blum #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 advent children #final fantasy #final fantasy 7 remake #Vincent Valentine #reno of the turks #crispin freeman #square enix #dissidia nt #ign #kotaku

9 notes · View notes

oathkeeper-of-tarth · 6 years ago

Note

So after healing all corrupted gems, building accommodations for all off colours, recuperating all planets with organic life back to supporting that organic life, recovering all shattered gems which itself includes doing SOMETHING about the Cluster, what say we leave the Diamonds to live out the rest of their existences on a far off comet, never to have an opportunity to hurt another life form again?

Yeah. Okay. I’ll take that. I guess their goop is needed for how gem reproduction currently works, so that’s a snarl - but I’m sure a clever Kindergartener could devise a way around that and seize the means of gem production this could be an interesting future plot point to consider, tied into coexistence with organic life (paging @ajora). Alexa, play Want You Gone.

I’ve seen a lot of speculation about the future, about how this is only a tiny first step in fixing such an overwhelming amount of harm (and, really, how much is even fixable? Or a basic minimum of reversible? Planetary extinction sounds pretty final. What happened to the happy hugging rainbow gummy worm aliens from “the Kyanite colony”, huh? Huh, Blue?). And every tiny bit of nascent realisation on the diamonds’ part that we’ve been presented with is, yeah, baby steps, if anything.

Yeah, we’ve found a way to fix the worst of the corruption, but we have a massive intergalactic empire to consider. We still have the entirety of Homeworld society to deal with and a horrid system to dismantle, we need to get Peridot back on that whole sustainable coexistence of Gemkind and organic lifeforms project she had ideas about, the zoo, the rose quartzes, THE PEARLS, those bubbled forced fusion experiments that YD just happens to have hanging around (that was pretty easy to miss, but the implications are horrifying, and having the CGs be bubbled and awaiting punishment there was… nope). There’s still corrupted gems roaming out there, I’m sure, and the ones we have uncorrupted will doubtlessly need time and help to recover (I appreciate the traces of corruption “scars” left in their designs - things like that don’t just get erased). There is so, so much work to be done, by so many people.

I’m really interested in the future! I hope we get a lot of the aftermath and the actual meat of the Disney Musical Montage, I hope we get to see both Earth and Homeworld change and grow together in a truly new era. And there’s still so much we don’t know, and so much Pearl Content I, tumblr user oathkeeper-of-tarth, personally want to see, so clearly the show needs to get on that, stat.

(And once again, I am very, very, very tired of the diamonds. We can see all of this unfold without centering it on them and their drama. And I’m gonna stick it here, and then leave it at that because I’m tired of going on about it, too: Going all out with the “dysfunctional family” part over the past half-season or so and glossing over the “intergalactic tyrants behind a laundry list of unspeakable atrocities” part really doesn’t work for me, at all (no, Yellow! I don’t care that mom wasn’t looking when you committed your 500th perfect planetary genocide! holy shit!). Divorced from the context, I thought it was some damn powerful stuff even if WD’s concession there at the end is very hard for me to buy, but I get it, Sugar said as much, it’s an aggressively optimistic escapist fantasy where people do listen. Christine Ebersole really blew me away, the unapologetic identity-related stuff was lovely, and I can appreciate what it already means and could come to mean for people. But put together with how the diamonds got set up over the years, tonally and scale-wise and so on… it just doesn’t mesh at all, and I was and am immensely frustrated by this. There. Done.)

#[major kira voice] i'm always diplomatic #Anonymous #oathkeeper replies to things #endless words #thanks for that little heart there at the end anon i appreciate it #steven universe #su spoilers #steven universe spoilers #change your mind #ding dang diamonds #i am rather inexplicably fond of the gummy worm centipede alien friend

60 notes · View notes

katesattic · 6 years ago

Text

Creativity and Mental Illness

I can only speak for myself and in relation to my illnesses but I’ve come to find there are several levels of creativity in relation to mental illnesses. Now I’m not really talking about that level where you’re on your meds and everything’s going swell. Rather, I’m talking about those episodes. You may have them while on meds and you’ll most certainly have them off your meds. These are the levels of creaitvity I’ve noticed while experiencing a depressive or anxious episode.

I’m trying to use the term creativity rather than writing because there are several forms of creative expression and, although writing is mine, it may not be yours. So, let’s start with a bit of an introduction before I get into this.

Hi, I’m Katey (sometimes I spell that Kt), though several of my followers call me Kate (which is fine but I do prefer Katey a bit). Anyway, I was diagnosed with both anxiety and depression in 2016. I tend not to specify what type of anxiety I have because it manifests itself in many ways, but most notable are social anxiety and (existential) death anxiety. My former GP thinks that my death anxiety could be a form of OCD, but she was hesitant to classify it as such because I seemed to be managing it well. Which I think may have been true at the time, but recently it has started to consume my thoughts again. After my diagnosis, I was prescribed SSRIs, and I have been on them since (well except for those three months but we don’t talk about that). I like my meds. They make me more functional, and I’m significantly less likely to have drastic mood swings (remember those three months we don’t talk n about? Well in that time, I was easily angered and upset without provocation. My meds are good). I’m not happy all the time when I’m on my meds. I do experience anxiety (most recently the death anxiety) and bouts of depression. But these episodes are shorter and less intense than they would be if I weren’t on my medication. That being said, since I moved in 2017, I haven’t gone to therapy (and I miss that), and I’m also in the process of looking for a new family doctor. And when I get a new GP, I will ask to be referred to therapy because will the meds help, they can’t do everything.

Anyway, enough about me. I want to talk about those levels of creativity.

The first level: you’re functional. You may or may not be inspired. But creating doesn’t seem like a chore, and you actively seek out ways to be creative. Thant’s not really what I want to talk about. I want to talk about those less functional levels. You can still create great work in some of these other levels, don’t get me wrong, but you are definitely feeling mentally subpar.

The next level, let’s call it the second level since I called the previous one the first, is where you feel a bit “meh”, but you can basically muddle through. Your mental health is probably fine, you’re just not in the mood to create anything. If you had an assignment due, you’d probably be bullshitting it.

The third level is that odd burst of creativity your mental illness provides you. You aren’t at your best, but you’re nowhere near your worst. You’ll find a way to incorporate your illness in the piece. And it will probably work. The piece is better after you’ve incorporated the raw emotions you’re currently feeling from this little episode of your illness. Alternatively, you may not be experiencing any episode at all. Rather, the lingering effects of a previous episode have stuck with you so much that this piece is a product of that past event. It’s not too dark, nor too tragic. But it was definitely inspired by a time where your brain was not your friend.

The next level, less so. You’re still producing content, but it’s not the same. It’d not necessarily bad. Actually, some of it is quite good. But looking back on the work, you definitely remember fighting with your illness at that time. It’s dark -physically or metaphorically depending on your medium - and moody. Someone unaware of your illness may have thought you researched depression extensively for it to be accurately reflected in your work. Nope. You were actually experiencing a pretty intense episode when you made the thing. It could have been a short episode, or a long one but you were pretty consumed by it, and you didn’t create to create. You created to cope. Some may have seen your finished product as a masterpiece of its kind, but you know better. You know it was merely a coping mechanism. A productive coping mechanism. But a coping mechanism nonetheless.

Welcome to the final level. The worst level. You do not want to create. And you know, you’ve learned, that if you force yourself to create something ... it will be shit. So you don’t. You’re not in the mood anyway. Your head hurts. Your heart aches. Thoughts are racing in your head. You just want to lie in bed all day and watch Netflix. So that’s what you’ll do. Your illness has won this round. The other shitty thing about this level? You can skip all the others. You can go from feeling inspired to “fuck everything, let me sleep” without warning. It’s happened and it fucking sucks.

What am I trying to say? I really don’t know. Maybe I’m hoping someone else relates? Also, seek the opportunity to be creative. Whether you’re on meds or not, in therapy or not, when your mental illness is rearing its ugly head: try to be creative. Your illness can’t win all the battles. And if it wins this battle, there’s always another one. You’ll be at a different level, and creativity will strike.

Even this post. It’s something I’m writing while my anxiety and/or depression - I can’t pinpoint which yet - are weighing me down. They don’t want me writing my stories. They don’t want me in those fantasy worlds. So here I am, writing some non-fiction about how I feel. And it’s kind of making me feel better. I didn’t write this as a coping mechanism but it sort of ended up as one. Sure I’m not creating the content I want to create, but I’m creating something. I created this post. And that’s not nothing.

#long post #personal #writing #creative writing #non-fiction #creative non-fiction #mental health #mental illness #anxiety #depression #creativity #content creators #content creation #writers #artists

6 notes · View notes

webcomixwastaken · 7 years ago

Text

Fanfiction/Writing Meme

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

/eyes bear novel waiting to be edited so it can be an actual readable manuscript /hugs BotW fic closer anyway

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I’m not regretful for writing “World Wide Story”, but it did feature several problematic/lazy tropes of the fandom that I would not indulge anymore.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

I actually am fairly linear but 1) I outline very extensively 2) have an email draft saved solely to jot down paragraphs or conversations that need immediate documentation

4) favorite character you’ve written

MATVEY KOURINEV (he’s from the bear novel)

Gilly from WWS holds a dear place in my heart, as does Francis.

I’m really happy with how I was able to portray Maru and Abigail in my Stardew fic.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Francis was a big darkhorse. Likewise with Sam from Stardew Valley.

The countess from the bear novel is surprisingly hilarious.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

I still don’t like the title “Hold Your Destiny”. I wish I could change it but with a substantial amount of subscribers and beautifully loyal commenters the brand’s stuck

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Nope.... mostly.

I won’t deny I write fanfic to people IRL, but I won’t mention it off the bat in public spaces. I’m not embarrassed by it, but it’s exhausting to get into defending or explaining it. I’ve got plenty of original work to chat about anyway.

8) favorite genre to write

I actually LOVE slice of life! Mundane day to day stuff is my jelly and jam!!

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Stop writing and consume other media. Every idea is recycled anyway.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

It doesn’t really matter; works out all those ways. I do like my weekly writing crew though because of the accountability.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Character development (clearer objective/intention behind actions), consistent POV, axing out the rambling backstory/descriptive padding to focus on the action

I tend to be slightly lazier with my fanfiction though because I see it as a medium where self-indulgence ought to be allowed. It’s a strength of the genre.

12) your weaknesses as an writer

Individual narrative voices especially in alternating first person POVs, creating conflict (because I love my sweet slices of life, I’ve been told that sometimes things fall into place a little TOO perfectly for my characters even if they do have challenges up ahead)

God. Damn. Titles.

13) your strengths as an writer

Vocabulary, dialogue, and balanced description (”big vs small moments” as my teacher used to say).

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

nope

15) why did you start writing?

....because it’s fun??

And because I am good at it. It came a lot more naturally to me than music or drama despite the fact I’ve had years of practice in those fields, and I also feel more confident in my skill here than I ever did there.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Ursa and Yurie hover behind my headboard, Matvey glowers at the end of the bed and Polina is my personal poltergeist wailing from the ceiling. Because I’m supposed to be married to the bear novel but instead I’m having a torrid affair with Zelink fanfic.

Meanwhile, Gillian, Frances, and Tonia are sobbing in a corner because I shut them in a folder and avoided them for over a year (I’ll rescue you guys soon I promise)

17) if you could give your fledgling writer self any advice, what would it be?

“GO TO TUESDAY WRITING MORE GOSH DON’T BE LAZY”

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

The age when I read and devoured the most books were about 8-13 years old, so I loves me middle grade something fierce. Sharon Creech, Jerry Spinelli - faves faves faves. And actually, the Redwall series probably has had the biggest impact on how I view and write the fantasy genre. I’m serious.

And since my final year of undergrad theatre major life was basically just dramaturging the heck out of Anton Chekhov for 8 months, I’d say he’s my biggest adult literary influence. Especially in the way of character building and dialogue. Want to improve your dialogue? READ PLAYS.

(Honestly I feel like the stuff I like to read isn’t what I usually write; Ray Bradbury’s work is a treasure and I savour ALL his words, but I sure as hell don’t write the way he does.)

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I outline a lot and they’re pretty detailed. The outline can definitely change by the way. It changes extremely frequently. Honestly it’s just a comfort/fallback for me to know that I have some sort of direction for the story.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

I have a weekly session with IRL friends where we meet up at a cafe on Tuesday evenings and plunk the words out for roughly 2.5-3 hours. Technically Thursdays too but I’ve been skipping them recently (baaaaaad!) Since Mondays are my days off I sometimes escape then too.

Otherwise I will confess I just veg out at home after work.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

“This is clearly older work.”

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

My fic will rarely go above T, and if it does it’ll probably be M for violence/tragedy rather than any sexual content. There’s plenty of it out there written by folk who can pull it off way better than me anyway!

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Having studied theatre, including stage combat, particularly rapier/broadsword has been hella useful in writing Zelda fanfic. You know, the one with Link the famous swordsman with that famous sword. Oh, same with Abigail in “Beneath the Surface” too. I’m not googling when I describe their fights.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Not related to my work, but I now possess a fairly extensive knowledge of sea creatures from the creative writing workshops I teach at my job. For some reason the ages 6-8 classes are always ocean themed.

Did you know some sharks lay eggs that look like oblong sacs?? They’re like big leather tampons. That, and sea dragons can’t move independently. They just cling to seaweed and hope for the best, the poor tiny delicate things.

Not even talking about how much Zelda lore stuff I read up on now, wow

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Whyyyy don’t I just be a big fat shill and link you to my AO3

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ask meme thing #I won't tag just take it!#Breath of the Wild #Stardew Valley #Hetalia #I guess??

4 notes · View notes

nanyoky · 7 years ago

Text

Someone’s stomach still hates her, so it’s BREAD NIGHT instead of sushi night but HERE WE GO

lol cheryl. for just one tiny moment, i bet a couple kids were ready for a columbus style defamation and dressing down, but not our cheryl. nope. she’s just taking another opportunity to be the live action pacifica northwest.

“the southside kids are fine, but their parents are FURIOUS.” i’m gunna need more than that mayor mac- why? are the southside kids studying too hard now that they have real books? does sweetpea’s mum have to drive him all the way across town to his new school every morning? if the city shut down the school and absorbed these kids into the other district, the district buses would have to come to them, yes? so why would Mama Sweets driving him??? I NEED MORE DETAILS MAYOR MAC.

a neighborhood party for both north and southside. but the serpents are hired as security. do you see the problem here folks???? i mean- obviously not every single southsider is in the gang, but they are a good chunk of the people you’re trying to integrate into the community. so..... what’s really happening.... is a party of northsiders........ with southsiders as The Help. ......great plan i can’t wait.

there’s something really hilarious about the marked height difference between archie and hiram and archie is enjoying every inch of it- deep, deep down inside while he tries to figure out what the fuck is happening in his dining room.

me @ Hal: you’ve got the personality of a brillo pad go out in the garage or something

chic is chillingly cavalier, which is just how i want him, but betty brining up the “cresent moons” on her palms was ham handed and awkward come on we were doing so much better with dialogue recently

this guy can’t possibly be legit there’s no way a trained agent of anything would trust archie with a can of pringles

there is just so much in the gang checking out betty’s picture of chic. kevin thinks he looks hot and maybe familiar because kevin likes pretty, hooded eyed bad boys who probably have a switchblade in their back pocket ((me too bro it’s okay)). veronica calling him “the omen.” betty sort of expecting but not knowing how to react to her friends thinking her long lost brother is a babe. also summarizing her current home life perfectly in how alice is being awkwardly infantizing and how hal is being definitely not chic’s biological dad and pissy about it. excellent. all excellent.

betty’s “hanging out with toni? cool. that’s cool” face is just... so betty.

“oldest living serpent” SHUT UP i bet he’s adorable i can’t wait

“your dad doesn’t like me” “what? no!” veronica is suddenly a worse liar than betty and that is SAYING something

veronica references the movie “foxcatcher” which i both want to see and don’t want to see and have been waffling about for over a year. anyone care to swing me on it?

varchie is lying to one another and it is all going to blow up so terribly

hoooooolllllyyyyyyy shhhiiiiitttttt. i see. this is a topical episode. and tangentially personal. i went to school near the dakota borders. i have friends who spent weeks at the pipeline protests. but also um.... why do i get the sense that for some bizarre reason, this is going to be jughead’s narrative....... *SIGH*

i need about twelve drinks right now. but also did i nail it with that columbus reference or what?

((fun fact to lighten the mood: my city is working on getting a statue of christopher columbus replaced with one of prince because he was from here and he “represents us better”. bless this midwest))

*HEFTY SIGH* mayor mac. i genuinely want to see more of your adulterous but charming affair with papa keller but you keep fighting tooth and nail to stay on my shitlist

kevin’s porn watching has solved a mystery that shouldn’t really have been a mystery to anyone? i thought fantasy fulfillment was pretty fuckin clear. also, kev, WHY ARE YOU WATCHING PORN IN POP’S WHAT THE FUCK BRO WHO DOES THAT

Archie: *jake peralta voice* why does everyone keep touchin my butt?

IS THE SHERIFF THERE TO WATCH KEVIN’S TRYOUT HELP MY HEART DON’T YOU *DARE* BE SHADY PAPA KELLER DON’T YOU BETRAY MY BOY

KEVIN’S GOOD. KEVIN’S A GOOD WRESTLER. MY LITTLE HEART.

none of these boys better make ANY comments about kevin wrestling or i will come after them with A BAT

this is a much needed self esteem boost for kevin- being better at something traditionally masculine than archie, the all american boy and I SUPPORT HIS PRIDE I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY KEV EVEN IF YOU LOOK AT CAM BOYS AT A PUBLIC DINER YA WEIRDO

this is an A+ sweater from betty holy jeez contender #1 for outfit mvp

bets did you watch a bunch of your brother’s sexy vids? holy jeez i need to feel better so i can have a drink ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS ESSAY I KNOW YOU ARE

kevin’s writing a gossip column now? i both love and hate this. give me a sample of it and i will swing one way or the other

“this is a story we need to tell” close jughead. this is a story you need to help the right people tell. as support. not the main voice. please tell me that is on its way. (i doubt it)

also i feel like the writers came up with this history of the gang, shall we say, quite a ways after casting of the gang.... not that the gang has to be all direct descendants of the tribe but.... still.

kevin’s going to help archie practice cuz he’s the best of all of us. also it’s going to make him feel good about himself and i don’t begrudge him that in the slightest.

“you don’t really think this could be long term, do you?” chic you were living in a hostel where people get stabbed/their stuff stolen- how is that long term?

it’s a repeat but i think this is the first time this season we’ve heard a character’s original song? i miss the pussycats. i miss “we tell our own story” divas of color. i honestly kinda miss “i wanna be a musician” archie tbh. the music in general has taken a definite turn this season and i like all the retro but god the s1 soundtrack was SO damn good and atmospheric

Hiram has mastered the painfully overt backhanded compliment in a way i would have scoffed at two years ago but honestly i know people liek this now and it’s a nightmare.

lol veronica and archie turn this into the cold war of in-law relations. “i’m glad you’re not man enough to wrestle archie makes me feel like my daughter’s virtue is safe with you” “oh yeah well i think archie is hot” “yeah and we are TOTES comfortable kissing in front of you because our relationship is TOO HOT TO CONTAIN SO THERE”

*long, loud groan* oh my gggaaaaawwwwddd hal

that being said i kinda feel the same way about the narrative doing this weird displacement where Chic replaces Polly as the Problem Cooper and Sweetpea and Fangs are splitting up the threads of Joaquin’s storyline like come on writers either get your actors back or write something new- don’t just rework existing threads of character and plot for new faces.

kevin stop looking so eager we know hiram is a babe okay but that’s your friend’s dad

kevin and chuck both know enough about wrestling to know hiram is being a dick and not demonstrating for the sake of demonstrating. i mean- i don’t know shit about wrestling and i could tell that- but i have the benefit of knowing the narrative

“Get the message?” no hiram i think you’re being a tad too subtle. try farting on him.

TONI. THAT’S MY GIRL. FINALLY. THANK GOD. i was so scared this storyline was going to let jughead be this painfully white without acknowledgement but here we go. thank god. jughead has been whiter than i am recently and that is SAYING something.

okay so josie’s mad at veronica now which means we don’t get a pussycat reunion? DID THEY LOSE MELODY AND VAL TO OTHER GIGS??? JESUS RIVERDALE HOLD ON TO YOUR CAST ((i’m just assuming. i don’t know if polly and joaquin and melody and val and smithers all have other acting jobs keeping them from doing riverdale- it’s just it doesn’t make sense narrative-wise so i assume it’s a scheduling thing))

“cameras aren’t here, jackie o” that’s my girl

“the old ways die hard it seems” SOCIAL COMMENTARY

i love this wrestling plotline for many kevin reasons, but one of them is it gives and opportunity to show kevin interacting with a male friend. they’re obviously making a better effort to make him more than the “sassy gay friend” but this is one i feel a lot of people would miss. we’re used to gay men befriending women and being romantically involved with or lusting after men exclusively. but kevin and archie are friends! and we love them both! kevin jokes around about archie being hot and neither of them are uncomfortable! archie goes to kevin for help with something kevin has more knowledge/skill at! if i remember right archie was the first one to call joaquin kevin’s boyfriend! they are bros! and this is just really nice!

also how did i not notice kevin is ridiculously buff before? did he beefcake up between seasons or did those sweaters just slim him down a lot somehow? woops better go back and rewatch season one again to check. god what a chore.

chic is AGGRESSIVELY questioning betty’s intentions because we aren’t aware enough that he has TRUST ISSUES

i still don’t know how i feel about any of this and i keep swinging back and forth on “dark betty” from episode to episode depending on what they’re doing with it

“i took care of her while you were in prison” “excuse me” OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT HERE LIES ARCHIE ANDREWS DUMB BOY GOOD BOY SWEET BOY

i really need to know what veronica knows about her parents and how she is biding her time and handling it because the writers are just not throwing her a goddamn bone lately other than to occasionally call out toxic masculinity

honestly i feel like i don’t understand hiram. maybe because i’m not a blindly competitive douchenozzle. but like- surely laying things out so bullheaded and aggressive can’t be a better strategy than lying in wait and learning what you can? he could pretty easily wreck their relationship- those two keep screwing things up between them anyway. it can’t be that hard to be subtle buddy ((hiram is a gryffindor. nell is a slytherpuff. nell does not understand lion people.))

we see more hints of veronica faking the koolaid drinking with her parents. but is that truly what hermione wants? who is real? season one or two hermione?! i must know!!!!

*jughead continues to make this about him* toni: “i thought you were apologizing.” thank god for tony. give her her own narrative and stop making her only scenes be about jughead one way or another. she’s got such potential

for all that i still think the narrative is still going to find a way to keep jughead’s feelings at the forefront of this plot thread, there was some good delivery on “i had no right.” a kid realizing for the first time that just because he feels really strongly about something, does not mean he’s universally in the right on the subject. i know so many grown ass adults who don’t know this. i’m just really hoping not just jughead as a character takes a step back for a bit, but the narrative lets him and uses the room he makes well.

of course hiram invites veronica thinking archie isn’t going to make the team

slap his butt ronnie

so which chuck are we getting today god only knows because his redemption never saw any continuation or closure beyond gettin flirty with josie so i have no idea if it was genuine

Me, who knows nothing about sports of any kind beyond that i like it when Klose does the flippy: Wrestling is an aesthetically stupid sport

we’re all acknowledging how very uncomfortable and surreal this is for veronica right? watching her boyfriend grapple with the guy who publicly humiliated and harassed her a few months back? but in like- a “sportsman behavior” setting? very weird.

was that archie realizing he was being tested? is dating a lodge like converting to judaism? gotta be denied three times and persist?

alice is being so painfully stepfordy and i’m frightened and intrigued by the moment when the other shoe will drop and chic sees the alice cooper we all know and love to hate and hate to love

again- i’m really shocked that like- no one read between the lines on what chic’s livelihood came from

“he has to go and you know damn well why” *clutches pearls* oh good heavens hal what reason could that possibly be??? i haven’t the foggiest

PENELOPE IS LIKE AN AMALGAMATION OF EVERY DISNEY VILLAIN EVER IN THIS SHOT I’M DYING

OH SHIT. OH SHIT. VERONICA AND THE PUSSYCATS.

like on the one hand, that was a fucking power move and i kind of just have to give props for the sheer audacity, but on the other hand PEOPLE NEED TO STOP CUTTING JOSIE OFF FROM ANY AND ALL SUPPORT SHE’S JUST BEING MANIPULATED AND ATTACKED ON ALL SIDES AND I NEED HER TO BE OKAY BECAUSE SHE HAS FAR TOO MANY FEELINGS IN HER BIG BROWN EYES

oh god oh god this is too fucking real i need a drink but i’m still sick fuck this is real. fuck. toni’s face. cuz honestly she’s tough but you can tell she’s not used to the spotlight and it took all her courage to get up and be the voice of the protest only to be derailed and minimalized fuck let this girl have more to do than occasionally be the voice of reason to jughead and the serpents.

BAHAHAHA is hal going to sleep with penelope to get back at alice for having a kid with fp back in highschool jesus christ this show

i’m reserving judgement on the chic plotline until it progresses more but right now i’m just kinda “....huh.” about it

oh betty. oh honey. oh babe.

“That was the old me” archie has been through five “new me”s in the past month. i mean this is obviously to get on hiram’s good side, but still it’s hilarious.

oh of course. they couldn’t just let this fucking go could they. gotta frame the serpents for something else. or not! maybe it was the serpents! doesn’t actually matter. either way mayor mac, lodges and papa keller are going to be the absolute worst about it.

can we get back to being a gothic mystery show next ep? please?

Episode Scorecard:

Number of Sick Beatdrop editing sequences: none. it seems they’ve abandoned this, sadly, along with the rest of the season one soundtrack and editing style. which is a shame.

Do I Still Miss Joaquin: please just imagine wrestling matches with Joaquin dragging all the other teen serpents along with to be the loudest, rowdiest, Team Keller-est cheering section riverdale has ever seen. Kevin is equal parts pleased and mortified. cheryl and toni are dating by now, so cheryl makes them all tshirts. they all have no fucking clue how wrestling works. they love it.

Episode Hair MVP: jughead’s bangs were corkscrewing again- like mine do when my hair air dries just right. i live the curly/wavy combo life too juggie. i know it’s hard.

Episode Outfit MVP: betty’s felted floral sweater- tho i’m still perplexed by the collars on this show. someone in wardrobe has a signature and i don’t begrudge them- i’ve just never seen collars on any outfit anywhere like these ones

#riverdale spoilers #long post #nell liveblogs #unsubtle highschool suburban gothic of my dreams #riverdale season 2 #there was no fp this episode which is a crime

4 notes · View notes