I want to fall in love. But not like you’re thinking; I want the kind of love that the Young Man feels for the Rockies in the song “Rocky Mountain High.” I want someone to see the divinity in me, and for our souls to know each other and recognize home in each other. I don’t think I want to kiss, but I want to cuddle and share the same level of emotional intimacy you might share with a lover. I want to be their most important person and for them to be my most important person too. I want to be the first person they think to text when something happens to them, from the silly to the serious. I want to love them like home, like I love the forest around my grandmother’s house. I want to be able to feel so comfortable and at home with them that both of us feel safe to be completely ourselves with each other. I want to fall in love with someone like you fall in love with a place. Where you feel like you’re finally home.
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I think I finally understand why Bloodweave hits me so hard and why I love it so much… them being sort of narratively paired together, aside.
Gale is just a relatively normal looking dude. Astarion is like a fantasy poster child. I love their banters, like Astarion saying he enjoys their walks together, and Gale saying “count me in! I’m enjoying chaos now!” when Astarion says he wants to get up to some good ol’ DEBAUCHERY. It’s like. The perfect balance of Astarion’s influence on Gale with Gale being the most just like. Loving kind guy that Astarion needs.
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Actually if we want to talk about the lilienne/joyce ship I would like to bring up that it plays into the bourgeois woman’s fantasy of class dynamics in a relationship (à la lady chatterley), as well as the upper/middle class idea that their identity as women supersedes said class dynamics (and therefore they believe themselves to be in no position to oppress women of the working class) in a way that lends itself to reactionary movements like TERF ideology. As someone who lives in the uk and has been heavily affected by said ideology, joyce actually put me on high alert just by her voice and appearance.
I think it’s a mistake not to acknowledge that joyce is heavily thatcherite coded (the hair, the posh accent etc) especially when compared to lilienne who plays into the working class british woman archetype: she sounds welsh (considered a ‘lower’ accent), has young children, is a widower etc. It is fairly common to see the ‘confident mum who has to single-handedly support her young family’ in soap operas and other media, and she definitely plays into that stereotype.
Anyway, the ship is on the surface level a fun one, but let’s not overlook the framing as a one-sided and rather sinister set-up.
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No hate at all, but just as someone who’s worked on smaller film production crews in a less expensive city than LA I want to tell you that 29 people on staff is NOTHING for a production company of their size. There’s so much work from project planning and plan development to animation and SFX and graphic design to actual camera operators, audio techs, and lighting crews, to social media marketing teams and then administrative staff to handle all the paperwork involved in getting permission to film in all these locations and organizing flights, hotels, and car rentals for every place they travel to. 29 people is honestly a pretty low number for a company of this caliber.
i know. i just directed a short film with a production crew of 37 and post crew of 11. i am aware of the possibility that productions can be that size. my point was more that they did not need to be “a company of [that] caliber.” they very much could have left buzzfeed, hired a camera op & sound mixer or two, or shit, learned how to do it themselves since it’s youtube and that’s the norm, and more gradually expanded into a professional operation at a sustainable rate. being a "production company of their size" was not a command performance, it was a choice, and it was a bad one.
they did not need to leave buzzfeed and maintain their status as solely talent. the show they were leaving with was not all that complicated! they do not NEED to hire a fucking social media marketing team. a location manager, sure. camera ops and audio for when they're out exploring? sure! but a crew of that size isn't really necessary, is my point.
but they (and the try guys) were used to a quality of life at buzzfeed as talent that they didn't want to let go, and even when the try guys left, i was a little disappointed that they tried to maintain the same level of almost corporate professionalism about their videos instead of like, figuring out how to use a camera or an NLE themselves. i'll admit it's a super petty gripe; like, fine, whatever, shoot for the moon! but it's also meant that they keep feeling the need to Expand and, evidently, legitimize themselves as "more" than just youtubers. they make a LOT of money--but for every one person they hire, that's another person they're obligated to pay a living wage for their skills, and so if they want to be a bigger company, they necessarily must always have Line Go Up. which then compels them to do stupid shit like they did this week
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i genuinely don't mean this in a like. condescending way. but reading people talk about how Confusing and Nonsensical and Overpacked boy and the heron is make me feel insane. every single plot point is clearly spelled out; frankly, one of my only critiques of the movie is that i wish they'd left some of it LESS clear. yes, the second half is rich in dreamlike fantasy, but the story never breaks its own rules, and before every major reveal in the fantasy world theres an extremely obvious explanation — almost too on the nose to even call it foreshadowing — from somebody. like i just don't understand how anybody finds it impossibly confusing and weird and bad to engage with
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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odd thing to bring up after i talked about how i'm finally trying to write for myself and not other people, but because i start and don't finish so many projects...i'm honestly not even sure where to go? i'm feeling a bit stumped atm, so if anyone has something in particular that they're interested in seeing from me, please lmk.
obviously i'm trying to only travel down paths that i want to, but as i look at my pinterest boards and all the projects i've started, all the styles and respective universes i'm cobbling together, i'm finding i am very interested in exploring all of them, so my stomach hurts, my head feels funny and my heart is a little confused. i'm feeling lost and as you are all my sunshines my only sunshines, the very same way i appreciate the warmth you provide me, i'd also love a guiding light.
thank you for all your support.
it is extremely precious to me.
-uncle nina
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one of the primary things about this kink for me is the simple pleasure of seeing your partner get relief. of course you want your partner to get satisfaction and relief, to get what they need and what feels good. who wouldn't? i just love the idea of your partner sneezing and being able to say to them “bless you, baby. i know you needed that. do you feel better now?”
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