#am i coherent
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going INSANE. what is he thinking. why did he say this. why does he do all of this. i am thinking so hard.
we know he's seeking arceus to recreate the world bc in his eyes the world is cruel and unjust and it needs to be destroyed and remade. he's set himself on a mission to create the better reality he's envisioned for his whole life.
but everything else he does. the way he spends his time on pasio making people smile with togepi. even if he justifies it as something purely transactional to get more customers, we know he doesn't really take his merchant job seriously. the way he loves his pokemon so much that they will pop out of their pokeball to excitedly tell whoever will listen how much they love volo back. him trying to capture these moments of happiness tangibly because they never last long and can be wiped away any second.
he still hangs onto hope so much despite what's implied to have happened to him. in spite of all the anger and bitterness that's festered in him, he doesn't really want to destroy everything as he says.
it all started with a wish for the world to be a better place, for the good in the world to outweigh all the cruelty. he's still trying to spread what happiness he can.
but at the same time his past drags behind him and reminds him that he can't afford to trust in the goodness of the world.
that self-assigned mission to usurp arceus's power and rewrite everything.. to him, it's his duty now. he has to do it for himself and, as he rationalizes to himself, for the world.
so he ignores the flaws and holes he finds in his own reasoning. he can't help but seek out the brightness and happiness and goodness that does exist in the world, yet he has to dismiss it to justify his goals.
... all this to try and explain to myself why volo's asking all these questions and making all these comments that seem to go against what we'd expect given his ulterior motive and plans. and it's like he's asking the few friends he has to remember him as the one who seeks joy, even when he does the worst to fulfill his dreams
#am i coherent#can anyone hear me#does anyone else see my vision#does- [i am dragged outside and thrown into the trenches]#pla volo#pla#pokemon#pokemas#.d#realized 10 min later that i used the word “wish” and am once again getting hit by the celestic-lake guardian trio naming themes so hard#i feel nauseous#volo meaning “wish/want” and being a twisted version of azelf's motif of willpower#next to cogita and cynthia's respective roles for uxie and mesprit#never getting over this!!!#i'm crazy i'm CRAZZY#realization even later: can't believe i almost quoted kyubey madoka magica#when the Character makes you go#*kyubey voice*#“Even though you shouldn't have wanted to know the truth you can't help but chase after it. Human curiosity is really illogical.”
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guilty as sin? -> carolina "sleep in a liar's bed." or dare i say 1989
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LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
#making memes because i cannot form coherent thoughts rn#i am a glass half full kinda guy#arcane#jayvik#caitvi#timebomb#jayce talis#viktor arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcanespoilers#isha arcane#vander arcane#loris arcane#heimerdinger
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forever thinking about D-16’s “I want to kill him.” monologue. that initial line hit so hard. it was a line that made me think There He Is. because, yeah, that’s the megatron we know. that’s the megatron that worked in the mines, and when cybertron’s government turned its back on him, his rage won out. he devoted his life to something for nothing, for a world that didn’t give a damn about him. the story may have changed, but the essence of his origin is still there.
#specifically talking about this in comparison to IDW 2005 megatron#finally a coherent thought on this film#after three days#i am still emotionally wrecked#tf one#tf one spoilers#transformers one spoilers#transformers one#transformers#maccadam#megatron#d 16#d-16
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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Hug
It's nearly impossible to have a quiet and peaceful day with the crew, like the strawhats. Nami is mostly used to the noise on Going Merry but one day she gets fed up with Zoro and Sanji arguing. Not only are they extremely loud, but they've also already broken way too many things during their fights.
She decides that If they want to act like brats, then she's going to treat them as such. So she makes them apologize and hug each other in silence for an hour. None of them are happy about this punishment, but Nami threatened to raise Zoro's debt, and Sanji couldn't say no to her. It could be worse.
It's awkward enough for them to not incite any fight for a long time and Nami is quite proud of herself. She knows it won't last forever but at least now she knows how to handle them. It inevitably happens again. And again. And again.
Much to her surprise, those fights became more and more frequent. And what's even weirder is that she could see the way both Zoro and Sanji occasionally glanced at her to make sure she was nearby. It's almost as if they wanted someone to make them hug each other. As if they needed an excuse.... these idiots.
Soon, they don't even need Nami's help. When they aren't busy training, cooking or fighting, they cuddle together. Sometimes Luffy or Chopper would join them, but most of the crew knew it was their time.
After two years spent separately, they became extremely clingy. It's no surprise when they start sleeping in the same bed. What is surprising is that despite them behaving like a lovey-dovey couple, those oblivious idiots are STILL unaware of each other's feelings.
#It's almost 3 am and I'm a little tired#I really hope that what I wrote here is somewhat coherent#It's another idea that's been stuck in my head#I wanted to make a comic about this but I never have the time#so for now all I can give you are these notes and a quick sketch#and as always if there's already a fic like that please let me know I would love to check it out#sanji x zoro#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#one piece
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#he just does whatever. in my mind.#i draw him doimg whatever#hes like my barbie doll#no#worse hes like the beanie boos i used to play with to tell my stupid stories about mermaids. or whatever.#i dont remember what i was doing in like 2016 but it was beanie boo related#whatever that was is what im doing wirh him now#its 1 am#nothing im thinking is coherent#please ignore my ramblings#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#stanford pines#ford pines
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my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟
#pan draws#pan designs#zine#risograph#i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline#i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently#anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in#but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us.#so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they#actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye#tdov#trans day of visibility#<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you#xines
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itafushi nation how r we Feeling!!!!!!!!!!!
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FOUGHT MY DYING PEN PRESSURE FR THIS#TH MEGUMI DROUGHT. OVER. CROPS WATERED with yuuji's tears#im a wreck im a gd WRECK#megumi nation itfs nation whatever happens from now on know tht tonight was a Victory#god there r more redraws i want 2 do . i need to like. calm down tho#im so emotional im shaking and my pen is on its last legs i dont think more is good for it#or for my hand#i feel her protesting GHGSD i did paint a lot of leaves today#YA SPEAKING OF . WENT FROM LA DI DA RELAXING SUMMER LIGHT ITFS IN2 THE MOST DEVASTATING/pos CH OF MY LIFE#what a day what a time to be alive#times like this make me so grateful i can draw what wld i do except scream otherwise#i have no words and i must Draw#anyway i dont have anything valuable or coherent to add just know that i am the human embodiment of a whole bunch of exclamation points#my brain is like bzzzzt my heart is like wowwww
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This has been living rent free in my head since I read it
From @keferon 's mecha au and @spector-author 's writing (this post! or on AO3)
(I think I'm supposed to tag you both? If not let me know and I'll remove it 👍)
#tf mecha universe#vortex#first aid#my art#dude this AU has been eating my brain#and I have no idea who these two are#I started getting into TF like a month or two ago and I've never heard of these two before but I am obsessed with their storyline now#and the rest of them too#I just haven't had many coherent thoughts (other than this one)#the colors look so different on my phone but we're ignoring that
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Self-knowledge as a theme in STP messes me up so bad, bros.
This all starts with how little the Princess can tell you if you ask her about herself. How little you can say about yourself, more often than not. Most of the time Quiet doesn't even know what they look like!
The Narrator makes it a point to make the Princess' cluelessness, her lack of self-knowledge, into deception, but really, both the protagonists don't know themselves. How could they?
The concepts of bounds, of something that isn't you, the distinction of "self" and "other", "you" and "I", the concept of something being not like yourself... this is the first time this deity which is now two has ever experienced it.
The Shifting Mound and the Long Quiet did not exist until the Narrator tore a whole into parts.
Now, this deity in twain has to reorient. It has only begun existing, it's not yet known itself. A toddler has to develop a self-concept, and the concepts of others.
Now imagine, for the first time in your solitary existence, that there is something that you are not. Unknowable, foreign.
What are they like, you think? Are they a friend? Should I get to know them? Are they a foe? I do not know them, I cannot trust them... Or can I?
This brings to mind, of all things, Contrapoints' video on Twilight, where she speaks about the concepts of Union and Division in relation to love. And while she speaks of it in terms of eros, it can apply here just as easily, romantically and platonically.
Love is the union of two beings. We love because something outside of us allows us to be more than ourself. In others, many seek that which they lack. We seek out people so that we may develop through our similarities and contrasts with them, to change an be changed.
We seek out people because there can be no I without a You. To exist in a void is not a fulfilling experience.
We cannot discover ourself if he have nothing that allows us to compare ourself. The mirrors elude us throughout the game, always leading to the princess - she is the only way we may know ourselves, the mirrors tease as they disappear. And at the end of the route, only then, can you see yourself, now that you have a complete knowledge of yourself in a given scenario, with a given persona.
Was the princess someone you decided to trust? Or to betray? Was she a foe? A friend? A nightmare? A victim?
You both try to find out who you are through your relationship.
The princess assumes many faces and attitudes in response to you, you assume voices and attitudes in response to her. You're two batches of clay shaping each other at the same time. It's almost like knowing someone your entire life, seeing them go through different phases as they try to find out their identity in the world, their place. The 5 routes, whatever they be, are your "adolescence".
And growing means you will hurt each other, intentionally or not. There will be fights, disagreements, there will be heartache, and comfort and love.
And everything will pass.
Shifty, before she's complete, before she discovers her godhood, makes this point so clear.
How could she not be kind to you? You are the only thing in this place that is not her. What reason could she have to hate you? To make the only friend she could have into an enemy?
That's why, at the end of every route, all hurts are forgiven. All the heartache is acknowledged, understood, and then she moves on. So that you may continue being together, so that she may see what else you do.
Even godhood can become a phase. The Shifting Mound recognises what you both were, but it need not be you unless you accept it. Because self-knowledge is unending. You are always changing, and you can always change.
You can accept being a god, and that becomes you.
You can reject being a god, and that becomes you.
You are by that point an "adult". The figure trying to dictate who both of you are is gone, and you can decide for yourself.
I think this is partially why I love the Leave with Stranger ending the best of all the endings. You begin it by avoiding knowledge of yourself and of another. The self can only exist as far as it is not like the others.
And you meet the Stranger, this being who knows so little about herself, because she too has been deprived of another. The route is quick. It really cannot amount to much, because if you don't know yourself, it's so hard to build a relationship.
But at the end, they've matured. You gave each other time to become fuller beings. You met this person again and they seem so much happier with themself than they were in youth.
I love how they say "We're just a stranger.", and the voices point out how it needn't be sad that you don't know her, unless you make it out to be. You can get to know them, the real them, and they can do that with you.
The way the Stranger speaks if the position of a God only underlines how much the heart of the Shifting Mound can understand self-knowledge.
They speak of how they feel themself be pulled towards taking the position of godhood, of being everything, yet find it confining. Restricting.
"We want more. We want whatever might be on the other side of this door. Something new, that we'll experience together. With someone who exists outside of us. Someone who can see us in a way we can never see ourself."
Self-knowledge through relationships and reflection on how you impact other people.
#stp#stp spoilers#slay the princess#stp stranger#i have so many emotions about that route...#Stranger is the best one imo#sorry if this isn't wholly coherent i am no essayist
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The struggle for sleep is super hard sometimes
#darkzyx#undertale au#undertale fandom#utmv#utmv comic#killer sans#cross sans#implied shipping#could be interpreted as sanscest#who am I kidding they are literally wearing each others clothes#sanscest#criller#kross ship#I drew this to try and help me sleep and now it’s 7 am#i am so tired#sorry if this didn’t come out at all coherently#explodes
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i thought the reason was obvious..??
but you dont seem to get the implication so i guess ill just keep talking and you can listen if you want to
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that one meme but its them :] sort of a sequel to this
#chilaios#uughhhh ughhh GUYS WHO CANT COMMUNICATE BECAUSE THE WAY THEY SHOW AFFECTION IS CONVOLUTED AND WEIRD!!!#HEEELPPP HEEEEEELP#you see. i WOULD make another meta post about them other than the one unfinished one i have. but this is the ONLY WAY i can describe it#without like. tripping over my words or being incomprehensible#UUGOHOHOHGHUUGH IMPLICATIOOONS IMPLICATIOOONSSSSSS#'mimics are cute when theyre turned over!' (i want to show how this creature you hate can be charming in its own right)#+ the implication within the story that chilchuck lets laios call him chil#+ chilchucks odd amount off knowledge on monsters#+ IDK. EVERYTHING.#ITS ALMOST 12 AM MY THOUGHTS ARENT COHERENT. I TOLD YOU THIS MEME IS THE ONLY WAY I COULD EXPRESS IT WITHOUT SOUNDING NONSENSICAL
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Imagine Astarion with ears so sensitive that he's never willingly allowed anyone to touch them except for you. Imagine laying next to him in your bed, facing him, lifting your hand up slowly for that first touch. His eyes on yours, the rapidity of the breath he doesn't need to take, but still does reflexively. Seeing that he's nervous, but that he's trusting you, feeling his shaking hand come to rest on your waist. The audible sound he makes- half a moan, half a gasp- when you finally brush your thumb over the soft skin at the tip of his ear.
You trace the long shell of his ear and watch his pretty eyes, deep red like velvet in the moonlight, flutter shut. He says your name softly, as close as you've ever heard him to prayer. You pinch his earlobe gently, and his hips roll forward involuntarily, the jut of his hipbone pressing against your thigh as he makes himself still. Heat flares low in your belly, but you tamp it down as quickly as possible- likewise, Astarion makes himself still against you. This isn't sex and won't become sex, you'd promised each other (though that's not to say that you won't explore this thoroughly during one of your hours-long lovemaking sessions. He is all about experimentation these days, after all).
You lay there, touching him in his most vulnerable place, with reverence and grace and occasionally disbelief that you could be here at all with this beautiful, horrible, ridiculous and wonderful man, that you could be trusted so completely. You take in his every shuddering breath, the flexing of his fingers in your shirt, the softness of his mouth when he presses his lips to yours and tells you he loves you. If you have your way, if he has his, if somehow your utterly insane lives hold together for a year or a decade or ten, it will always be like this.
#astarion x reader#astarion x you#bg3 x reader#astarion x gn reader#astarion x tav#astarion x gn!tav#.astarion#check me never knowing how to coherently end a thought ever in my life#i AM one of those people that advocates for astarion staying snarky and awful even after everything LMFAO#it's just that now he only acts like that with people he thinks deserve it. or when it's funny#that said: with you? snarky and biting sometimes#yes. but also#sometimes#so soft it makes you want to squeeze him to death or something#also...reminder that i take requests...if u like...
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going insane about dorym because of course i am and like. i am having so many thoughts about the confession vs the kiss and who initiated which one… because for the confession, we’ve got dorian—the bard, the wordsmith, the poet—giving this heartfelt speech to orym—shy orym who was never going to speak on his feelings and was going to continue to pine from a distance. but then we’ve got the kiss, where it’s orym initiating—orym, who’s done this all before with the first love of his life (not the only, just the first), orym who was married for four years, who we know had a very physical relationship with his husband—and kissing dorian—dorian, who was sheltered in his home up until a year ago, dorian who’s never been in a relationship before, who’s presumably never kissed anyone before either. orym who grabs dorian by the collar and pulls him in for a ten second kiss, while dorian’s response to being asked to kiss him is “ohhhhhhh shit yes” in a stammering and awkward voice. (but dorian continues to be smooth at times too… there’s no way that “oh, i want” didn’t make orym absolutely weak in the knees.)
#anyways idk if this is coherent but i am chewing glass i love them so much#critical role#critical role spoilers#dorym#eli.posts
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the tanning bed partially resurrecting the creature everytime he used it so he could be more alive for lisa. her offing herself in it so she could be with the creature for eternity. the bed shaped like a coffin symbolizing the dual nature of death. i love this movie so much you don't understand.
#lisa frankenstein#there's so much more i want to say but it's 3 am and my brain's too tired to make any more coherent thoughts
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