#am I gonna stop watching esc

[sebbsa]

As a swede I’m pretty baffled that no one realized that tattoo basically was a remix of euphoria, they sound the same, Käärijä should have won, 100%

[archiisfandomstuff]

Watchting marble hornets rn (like the entries on youtube) hopefully this won't alter my brain chemistry or some shit cause I know that mh and creepypasta are somehow link (idk they seem to share a few characters like hoodie, masky, and slenderman from who I know) and we already know I haven't been able to escape that shit for the past almost four years now.

will update later

read at your own risk. this just turned into me recording all of my thoughts n shit

currently at entry #5 and does not seem to have much if anything to do with mh but rather it's creator. Entries #1 , #4 & seem to have the most horror esce (?) shit to them

Entry #6: What the ever loving fuck is going on here??? What is Mr. Clean doing, the big ol' stalker? very confused but intrigued.

Entry #11 is bothering me cause I can't find the "close encounter Alex missed" with who I am assuming is slenderman like no fucking wonder Alex missed it, I can't find this mf either

I'm guessing that this is some arg type shit. My guess as someone who takes a while to formulate proper explanations that I do not care to formulate rn and am going off of a vague idea based off of the little information I've been given is that this whole thing is an arg thingy named after the fake movie the characters are creating in where it is the origin story for the characters (Tim/Hoodie and Brain/Masky) I (we ig but I really never had much interest in them so idk much) know. Tell me if I am like astronomically off or smth.

So Tim is literally just A Guy? Dude has like no plot relevance. Why are y'all hyping him up so much????

I hope Jay realizes he is literally entering. No breaking though, some idiot left the door unlocked.

homeboy fell to the ground coughing and got up like "Nah, no time for dying, gotta unlock the door with a deadbolt." fucking idiot, dude is gonna die so bad

"I may go back eventually" DO NOT GO BACK YOU DUMBASS

ALEX WTF DON'T DO THAT JUMPSCARE SHIT TO ME I CAN DO GORE I CANNOT DO JUMPSCARES BITCH

NVM IT'S BRIAN BUT STILL DON'T DO THAT MAN

Jay's lungs are still dying good to know

Entry #19: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT MASKY YOU BITCH WTH BRIAN OMGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS SHIT IS SO COOL THOUGH NGL

Wait did I fuck up who is who? Is Tim Masky and Brian Hoodie. That sounds correct now that I think of it. Eh, fuck it, I ain't editing shit.

How the fuck is Jay not dead as hell yet? Mf has plot armor never seen before. "Ima just break into this house here, steal shit, GO BACK, get attacked, and continue pursuing this shit." BITCH YOU GON DIE

JAY STOP GOING BACK TO THE HOUSE IT IS NOT YOUR ONLY OPTION HOLY SHIT YOU DUMB FUCK

Have you even seen a character so fucking dumb they just disappoint you? That is how I currently feel about Jay. "Oh shit, I just saw the masked guy who attacked me and broke into my home. Let's fucking chase him."

"I am never going back to that house again." FUCKING FINALLY BITCH

oh shit someone is fucking with the cameras

wtf does totheark mean or stand for???

Rip Jay's apartment

Entry #26 was definitely something. So, Alex is alive, has a roommate or two, has managed to evade Slenderman for a while judging by the fact that his appearance was surprising to both Amy (idk who she is but I can tell she has no knowledge of what is going on) and Alex himself. Jay, this is clearly a trap, idiot. But, I understand falling for it ig.

Jay is the main character. He is still alive and I have no clue how but i do wanna know what happened in those seven months.

WHO IS JESSICA??????

omg poor jessica (assuming she is telling the truth)

MASKY YOU SON OF A BITCH

updates will stop for now because it's getting late and I'm pretty sure I have shit to do tomorrow (can't actually remember) gonna continue watching. I left off on Entry #34

We back

Tim "I may have had my leg broken by a paranoid film student, but I shall continue to torment his best friend" Wright.

Alex is suspicious as fuck. Calling it rn, he did or is doing something.

Still do not trust Alex like holy shit dude. Jessica, run, you want no part of this bullshit. Run, girl, run!

I am very confused as to what is going on w8th Tim, but I know that mf can run, lucky bitch.

With the rate that these mfs are falling to the ground in coughing fits, you'd think that Slenderman causes asthma not insanity. Also, wtf was Tim doing there. I originally thought this guy had no plot relevance.

TIM'S STALKING COMING IN CLUTCH OMG BEAT HIS ASS TIM

Gotta stop for a bit again cause I'm doing stuff with my family for a bit. Be back later

OMG I'M DUMB TOTHEARK IS TO THE ARK WHY DID THAT TAKE ME SO DAMN LONG I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE TO THEARK OR SOME SHIT IDK

OMG TIM NO THIS ISH'T YOUR FAULT SLENDERMAN IS JUST A RAT FACED BITCH

Why has Brian only crimes (from what I can remember) been like, so tame compared to what you would expect? This motherfucker seems to be routing for Tim and Jay, I think. "Wipe that stupid smile off your face." Alex says, referencing how, apparently, Brian was smiling at the knowledge that Alex cannot find Tim and Jay. Idk, I like hi so far even if the whole stalking thing ain't really my jam.

JESSICA MY GIRL NOOOOOOOO OMG NO

That was a shit show. BUT MY GIRL IS ALIVE I THINK AND THAT'S AWESOME.

FUCK ALEX FUCK SLENDERMAN LONG LIVE (RIP) THE HOLY TRINITY OF BRIAN TIM AND JAY IDC WHAT CRIMES THEY'VE DONE AT LEAST THOSE MFS TRIED TO FIGHT IT AND LING LIVE JESSICA THE MF WHO DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS SHIT (NONE OF THEM DID) I LOVE HER SM

I HAVE FINISHED MARBLE HORNETS NOW PREPARE TO SUFFER CAUSE I'M OBSESSED

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

back at it again with the swap au

In this version, Giovanni is a mundie! Part of the crime family, The Potages! Only containing Gio, his two moms, and his very concerned Epithet having cousins, The Roughhouses

Now for what you've all been waiting for:

The mugger shrunk back. W-what the hell was she supposed to do in a situation like this?! Her eyes darted over towards the two teens cowering next to the backpack. Desperately, she grabbed the sea urchin looking one and held him at knifepoint, he pantomimed in mute protest.

"St-stop right there!" She shouted. "Don't you care what happens to these two?!"

Giovanni's grin did not falter for a second, in fact, it had gotten wider. More gremlin esc, you could say. He flicked his arms, hiding them inside his sleeves. "You think a hostage can save your ass? HAH!" He barked. "Go 'head, don't need 'em alive to sell their stuff, best thing they can do is postpone the inevitable by a few seconds, then I'll have three more body's under my belt." He flicked his sleeves, several switchblades coming out from inside, dragging them across the alley walls, his foot steps driving into the mugger's head like a mysterious ticking noise

Tik

Tik

Tik

"Is five thousand dollars worth their lives? Is it worth yours? You gonna wake up with five thousand in your pocket after you watch two teenagers die in front of ya? Or ya gonna let yourself die? These are aaaaalll hypothetical, it don't matter to me! It's your choice 'Sides," Giovanni stopped, eyes gazing the mugger with a serious, shaded away expression, like in an anime. "I've killed for less."

Suddenly, Giovanni charged the mugger head on until she ran out of the alleyway, screaming her head off like she had just saw five horror movies all at once.

Giovanni stopped, waiting until dead silence was all that remained.

Once there was reassurance that she was fully gone, the two ex-hostages looked at their saviour.

Giovanni Potage did not have an Epithet

Giovanni Potage had never been in a real fight in all seventeen years of his life.

Giovanni Potage started to laugh out of panic

"HOOOLY SMOKES!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" He spat quickly, hiding the knives in his sleeves while he gripped the wall. "That was SO SCARY! Hah! I may be laughing but on the inside I'm dying!"

Giovanni hadn't lied to the mugger fully about his background, his side of the family were a bunch of criminals, growing up learning how to scare, cheat, and lie his way through life. He tries his best to put all that behind him, though. If he had an Epithet, like his parents, he would use all these tricks all he wanted, but, he was a Mundie. So that means he has to lay low.

He desperately wheezed, hacking up whatever was in his throat. "Oh my god what a rush! I straight up thought we were all gonna croak! I know I kept my cool, but I swear If anyone touched me I would turn to dust."

Rick wrapped his arms around Giovanni, crying big stupid tears. "GIOVANNII!!!! MY SECOND BESTEST FRIEND!!! THANK YOU!!! YOU'VE SAVED US FROM THE MONEY HUNGRY WENCH!!!!!"

Giovanni awkwardly patted his back, then Lorelai was dragged into the hug, Rick nestling his head in the middle, tears falling onto the concreate.

"You too, Lorelai! I am so sorry the woman had drenched your work! But the best thing is that.... we are ALL HERE!!"

Ah, the beloved Neo Trio. Standing near each other, all three looked like Neapolitan ice cream, Lorelai and Rick's hair even made it so some of the ice-cream got into their section, authentic!

Giovanni Potage and Rick Shades, Lorelai's best friends, she cared about them more than anything else.

Now for RICK! Our beloved Rich little Sea Urchin! In the au, he's a Mundie, much like Giovanni. Being homeschooled most of his life, Rick never really got people, and people never really got him. He later finds two new BEST FRIENDS! Giovanni and Lorelai.

The good stuff:

"Hey.."

"Oh- eh- hello!" Rick waved awkwardly like a robot, as he started to sweat from the very thought of human interaction.

"Nice lookin' bag ya got there..."

The 'bag' she was referring to was Rick's murse, it was a cute little purple purse in the shape of a sea urchin. Rick had a... strange obsession with sea creatures, sea slugs, cephalopods, isopods, shrimps, crabs, you name it? He loved it. Sometimes he would tell random strangers facts only he thinks are cool.

"Thank you!" Rick held it up "It's a sea urchin! By the way, did you know that the sea urchin uses the hydraulic pressure of water moving in and out of their tube feet to move about slowly. They can also propel themselves along with their spines. That's pretty impressive, considering sea urchins don't actually have brains!" Rick info dumped, not picking up on the fact the woman clearly did not care.

"Look's expensive..."

"Oh indeed it was! I had to personally commission it!" Rick grinned, like a glitched character in a video game. The air got too thick with awkward silence to where he had to leave. "Well! Bye!" He quickly made a break for the exit, but the woman blocked her path.

"Who'd you get to commission it for ya? Might be lookin t'get one.."

"Oh! I paid that nice man at the Baxter's crafting store! No clue what his name was, but I'm sure he'd be happy to make it for you!" The bells in his head were not going off when they really should be

"Ooooooh Baxter's? Gee, I don't think I can afford it"

"Hm! Troubling!" Rick blinked, pulling out a book about Marine Biology from his murse. "Anyways, do you want to hear about 101 Ocean Wildlife Facts?"

Rick did not wait for an answer before flipping through it, clearing his throat, he read the first fact. "Number one! Many bony fish have more than just one set of nostrils. The nostrils of fish also do not open into the back of the mouth like those of mammals, and are not, therefore, for breathing. They lead into organs of smell, which are very sensitive in order for fish to detect the presence of food in the water at considerable distances. More nostrils = more smelling! Huh! Well isn't that neat?"

Rick, once again, did not wait for a reply from the woman. "Ahem, number two-"

The woman didn't think twice before trying to snatch the murse from Rick, making him grab for it with a whine. "Heyyy! That's mine!"

"Not for long!" The woman replied, tugging it. Rick shimmied his way out of her grasp, clutching the murse closely as he shoved the book back inside it.

"You bully! You could've broken it! I know just how to deal with you!" Rick declared, inching closer to the woman before embracing her. "You are only mean because of what society has done! I will be the first to break your mind away from these patterns of violence and thievery! I... forgive you!"

The woman swiftly snatched up the boy by his aquarium back pack, causing him to flail and wail.

"NOOOOOOOO!!! VHS TAPES!!!!! YOU LIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

[depoteka]

my ranking and review of all eurovision 2023 songs

(don't expect any intellectual deep dives, i just tried articulating my feelings the best i could but it was hard bc i'm so lukewarm on so many songs. if the reviews don't make sense it's because i wrote them before i used the esc gerbear to sort the places hhh)

37. iceland: diljá - power

it definitely is a song that is competing in eurovision this year and i've listened to it. it doesn't make me feel anything so i don't know what to say. it's a fast pop song but i'm not even vibing to it :( i just don't like it

36. switzerland: remo forrer - watergun

oh switzerland, just because sad boy gjon worked in 2021 doesn't mean you need to keep sending sad boys now... a really boring attempt at an anti-war song

35. cyprus: andrew lambrou - break a broken heart

i don't think i'm really into men singing some heartbreak songs tbh i don't like those howls in the song and the rest sorta sounds imagine dragons-ish to me, the verses at least

34. greece: victor vernicos - what they say

it's cool that he's playing bass in the music video but the song isn't making me feel much. ain't gonna really talk shit about it bc the dude's just 16, i hope he has fun at eurovision

33. italy: marco mengoni - due vite

i like to think italy is my fave eurovision country and then they send a ballad….. i actually watched sanremo (tho i haven't seen any of the nights till the end bc i'm not that strong Yet) and marco wasn't my favourite at all, i was actually surprised how crazy the audience kept going whenever he was performing. of course i can see it getting some good result because it's a classic italian ballad. just not for me

32. ireland: wild youth - we are one

we've got u2 at home/the u2 at home:…. this song has the most generic love love peace peace lyrics ever and whatever unity they are singing about i don't want to be a part of it

31. poland: jann - gladiator blanka - solo

baybeh….it's kinda crazeh… allegedly it was a big radio hit before "winning" the preselections but imma be real with you, i'd never heard it before. it's a harmless pop song without any substance and if it was selected internally i'd be like meh but all the bullshit that went down at our national final makes me mad. i hope we flop hard

30. portugal: mimicat - ai coração

something about it to me feels like early 00s eurovision and i must admit, i don't really like it. though the performance in liverpool might be quite fun

29. romania: theodor andrei - d.g.t. (off and on)

the national final performance of this song is a state of mind. to be frank i feel like the esc fandom is overhating this song, it's not That bad. am i a fan of this song? no. would i like it to see it in the final with the same staging just for laughs? yes

28. israel: noa kirel - unicorn

israel i'm so sorry 0 points……. this song is a disjointed mess to my ears, i think it would've been better if they stuck to just one of the styles they used in this song. all the mentions of unicorns in this song make me cringe. not to mention the "you wanna see me dance?" bit which um, also makes me cringe. no problem with a dance break but why did she have to announce it like that out of nowhere. my favourite part of the song is probably the "u-ni-corn" chant at the very end but other than that eh. this song was written to make the staging crazy and exciting but as a song it doesn't work for me

27. azerbaijan: turalturanx - tell me more

brave of azerbaijan to send two dudes with their song that sound like it teleported itself from an early 00s shitty british movie. that rap part sounds like it's from a corporate song targeted at a young audience to idk make them stop smoking asdfadsf there's something endearing about this song tho

26. uk: mae muller - i wrote a song

i recognize that it's a step in the right direction for the uk and it's a rather fun song but tbh i just don't connect with it. i really liked sam last year and sadly in comparison mae's song seems quite weak to me. though i hope that the (de facto) host country curse doesn't work on the uk this year tho and they don't end up on the very end of the board

25. the netherlands: mia nicolai & dion cooper - burning daylight

ngl i forgot about this song after the first listen. i don't even know what to say about it really, it's just really underwhelming to me. i think i don't actively hate it but i also don't really like it

24. georgia: iru - echo

english grammar rules have left the chat. i'm baffled by the lyrics. but the song overall (along with the video) feels like something from outer space or the future. not in a crazy way tho. i think it has some potential

23. denmark: reiley - breaking my heart

bts are on hiatus so it's his time to shine. no but seriously, there's something so kpopy about this song? i defo like it more than the other "breaking heart" song this year but still. the dude gives me some uncanny valley feeling, especially considering he allegedly pretends to be 5 years younger than he actually is? i love eurovision drama

22. estonia: alika - bridges

we have very few true ballads this year but i think this one's ok!! not a ballad girl myself but i don't mind this one, i like her voice. gives me adele bond theme vibes. i've seen people say alika isn't really selling this song but i saw her national final performance and it seemed fine to me? not much you can really do when you're singing a ballad tbh

21. armenia: brunette - future lover

imma be real with you, i laughed out loud when i first listened to this song because of the lyrics. but i think the song is kinda nice anyway? not a fave but it's nice enough

20. malta: the busker - dance (our own party)

they got sax and in theory i should like it. but i'm not a fan. the whole "ooh i wanna stay at home in my sweater" shtick doesn't work for me. i can see why some people are vibing to this song but it's not doing it for me

19. sweden: loreen - tattoo

i'm a noted hater of sweden at eurovision so don't expect me to say anything nice hhhh the song is rather fine and loreen is fantastic but at the same time i feel like the entire song is just one idea repeated over and over without any sort of variation. her staging at melfest seems quite interesting but overall i don't think this has a potential to win? especially if the people watching in may remember euphoria. tattoo pales in comparison

18. san marino: piqued jacks - like an animal

hear me out………i don't hate this song. yes maybe it's cringe but somehow it keeps getting stuck in my head because it's catchy asdfasdfadsf i'm waiting for the studio version bc it's hard to properly judge it based on the shit sound mix at san marino nf

17. ukraine: tvorchi - heart of steel

was kinda surprised watching vidbir when this won! but then again ukraine keeps giving us different things constantly. i quite like this song but it's also too lowkey for me, nothing to go crazy about. still, it's a vibe

16. norway: alessandra - queen of the kings

ngl when i first heard the song i couldn't understand why people like it so much. now i enjoy it more but i wouldn't say it's a fave of mine? i can see it getting a good result though, there's something very eurovision about it

15. serbia: luke black - samo mi se spava

i feel like technically i should like this song but i….don't. i think the music itself is quite fun but…..the performance makes it seem like it was written for the netflix eurovision movie. something about this guy's voice bothers me. the nail to the coffin for me is the fact that the title of this song sounds close to "samo mi się spawa" in polish which means "it welds on its own for me" instead of "i just wanna sleep" which is what the title actually means 💀 i can't shake this association off and it doesn't help me like this song more

14. slovenia: joker out - carpe diem

at first i wasn't impressed but overall i think it's quite a fun indie/pop rock song!! and it's always nice to hear a native language instead of english

13. lithuania: monika lynkytė - stay

it's a pleasant song and the lithuanian bit is my fave part of the song. overall i don't mind it, but also i'm not crazy about it. sort of disappointed because i really loved sentimentai last year :(

12. belgium: gustaph - because of you

i haven't watched the belgian nf so i don't know what the other options were (that people are so mad about not winning) but i quite like this one!!! it's a bop, makes me wanna dance. i hope gustaph brings some voguing to liverpool

11. moldova: pasha parfeni - soarele şi luna

the only true folk influenced song we have this year, i like it!! it's a banger, it has some sort of flute going on, from what i've seen the lyrics refer to a folk legend? we love it

10. australia: voyager - promise

banger!! pleasantly surprised because i don't think i've ever really really liked any of australia's entries in the past. thought the random high note in the second verse is quite funny to me tbh asdasdfds

9. croatia: let 3 - mama ŠČ!

i think it's more of a whole package where the song doesn't really make full sense without the performance but in some strange way i enjoy the song anyway. the lyrics also are quite understandable in polish which probably also makes it easier for me (and i imagine other slavic people as well) to understand the message without feeling confused about what's going on

8. albania: albina & familja kelmendi - duje

the drama?? i love it. i saw somebody say it feels like a turkish telenovela and they've got a point. it makes me feel something (unlike some other entries) and i appreciate it. plus the instrumental absolutely fucks

7. spain: blanca paloma - eaea

when i first heard the song i didn't understand it at all. i feel like i still don't fully Get it but there's something so fascinating about it to me that i can't stop thinking about it. i'm so confused? but i think it means i enjoy it. definitely something i like more than slomo last year

6. germany: lord of the lost - blood & glitter

yell heah!! germany finally sending something worthwhile. i keep listening to this song on loop, i wanna twerk to it. love the combo of metal AND glitter <3

5. france: la zarra - évidemment

i already liked it at first listen and it keeps growing on me! not a big fan of chanson type of songs but this one is a banger + her look in the music video is gorgeous, i hope she keeps it for liverpool

4. czechia: vesna - my sister's crown

liked it before it was chosen at czechia's national final and was happy when they won but i kinda got bored of it after a month or so? i still think it's a good song (even tho i know people have some issues with it) and i love the mix of three different slavic languages. i think with the right staging they can win me back

3. latvia: sudden lights - aijā

OK OK… when i first heard it i was like ok. but then one evening i randomly found myself watching the moldovan nf and they were guests there and when they played their song in this shitty studio i was like omg it's actually really good?? obsessed with the lullaby bit at the end. i hope to god they qualify, they need to bring justice to latvia after citi zeni's nq last year

2. austria: teya & salena - who the hell is edgar?

what a surprise?? adored it at first listen. it both manages to be a bop while also trying to say something. i loved in corpore sano last year, i love who the hell is edgar this year

1. finland: käärijä - cha cha cha

what can i say......i usually don't really listen to any of the national final songs and just wait for the winner of each one but the thumbnail for cha cha cha music video on yt intrigued me so i watched it. and immediately i wanted käärijä to win eurovision weeks before he even won the finnish nf. the song is sooo addictive and his entire look/performance is hypnotizing. i know he's a favourite to win rn but if he somehow flops in may i'm gonna be really really sad. come on, it's crazy it's party. i think this finnish win would be a really fitting addition to lordi's win in 2006

[mochamoth]

I wrote. Another fanfic. Because bored.

This one is kinda out of character, I wrote it at like 3 am so cut me some slack please 😭 also CW contains violence, mentions of blood, and idk if I need to add this but mentions of anxiety.

_______________________

Scratch angrily stormed off form the back entrance of a bar, Grounder following him. "Stupid hedgehog!! How are we supposed to catch him if he keeps running all over the place!" Scratch grumbled. "I dunno, bait?" Grounder asked. Scratch blinked. "I guess so, but that's time consuming and it's already sunset!!" Scratch pointed out. "Oh yeah," Grounder nodded.

"Move it shortie," a sudden wolf mobian growled, pushing Grounder into the cement, two other canine-esc mobians following behind. They shoved Scratch slightly, aswell, but not as rough as they did to Grounder. "Um. Excuse me?!" Scratch hissed. ".. What?" The wolf turned only his head around. "Do NOT push my brother into the ground jackass!" Scratch yelled, walking towards the mobian. "Look, robot cyborg whatever, you do not want to pick a fight, ok? Be smart, taking your strange looking brother and let us do our thing," he threatened, turning back and walking away. "No!" Scratch stubbornly challenged, running infront of him and stopping him in his tracks.

".. What was that?"

"I said no dumba-"

The mobian quickly gripping Scratch on his neck, strangling him. It shut him up quick, only gurgles coming out. "I told you not to pick a fight, bird," he scolded, tossing him into a wall. Scratch made a small yelp in surprise, but forced himself back up, growling in a trilled tone. "Scratch just let it go," Grounder advised, watching from a distance.

Scratch didn't listen, instead he charged right at the mobian, scratching him up pretty bad. The wolf barked in surprise and pain, but quickly got a hold and locked his jaw on one of his legs. Scratch yelped, but didn't let go. "Get the HELL OFF BIRD," the canine yelled, releasing his grip and biting at his arm and yanking him down. Scratch got winded from the impact with the floor, unable to move. "Deal with this little shit," he growled, walking away in shame to let his buddies do the work. The two kicked at him, denting some parts of him. Grounder just watched, unsure if he should step in. He broke out of his frozen stare though, and quietly snuck up and well..

Drilled one of the canines' legs.

The dog yelped out loudly, falling limp. The other caught him, and made the wise decision of running off, blood trailing behind the two. Grounder shook the blood off his drill, turning to Scratch.

"Stupid dog," Scratch muttered, still a bit winded.

".. Scratch that was so unbelievably dumb," Grounder scolded. "You should've let it go!" "They pushed you! I'm not just gonna let them get away with that shit," Scratch argued, sitting up with a pained hiss. Grounder hesitated on what to reply with. "Well.. Thank you.. But it was still dumb!" Grounder huffed. "Would you stop nagging me and help me stand up?" Scratch groaned. ".. Can you stand up? Your leg is crushed!" Grounder pointed out. Scratch peered down to see oil oozing from deep bite wounds, his lower leg was all mangled and chewed up. "I don't.. Think so," Scratch admitted, unable to even feel his foot. His arm wasn't as bad, but oil spilt from it too. "I can carry you back, or be a crutch at least," Grounder offered. Scratch was about to nod but then realized something.

"Oh shit," he nervously clucked. "What?" Grounder asked in confusion. "Doctor Robotnik is gonna be furious," Scratch muttered, a nauseating wave of anxiety coming over him. "It should be fine I think," Grounder shrugged. "NO Grounder it WON'T be," Scratch snapped at him. "W– well we could just sneak back in," Grounder suggested. "GROUNDER." Scratch yelled, making the smaller robot flinch. "I can't keep coming back injured! Robotnik is going to just- give up on me," Scratch explained. "But he wouldn't know-" "Grounder he WOULD he always does," Scratch interrupted, looking and turning away. "Well you need to be fixed somehow," Grounder mumbled quietly, fidgeting with his drills.

..

"Can you do it?" Scratch inquired in a mutter. "M.. Me?" Grounder asked awkwardly. Scratch nodded. "Maybe? I've only ever fixed machines not robots," Grounder admitted. "Well how different could it be," Scratch turned back with a glare. "Well we require I guess a lot of flexibility and such," he nervously mumbled. "Just attempt it," Scratch sighed. "If you say so," Grounder shrugged, rolling towards Scratch. "Wait," Scratch moved away a bit. "I.. Don't want to go back, not yet." Grounder nodded, completely understanding. He just sat there with Scratch, and he caught on to his anxiety. Scratch's breathing was quick and sharp, his eyes were watery (though not quite tears), he kept stimming by twiddling his fingers, and he was oddly quiet.

"Thanks. Grounder." Scratch awkwardly thanked, looking at him for a quick second. "For what? I haven't fixed you yet," Grounder stated, confused. Scratch took a second to spit out what he wanted to say. "Just. Letting me sit here," he stammered. "Oh, you're welcome!" Grounder exclaimed.

Scratch took a few minutes to catch his breath, the sky darkened into the night. Grounder sat beside him, glancing at his wounds from time to time. Robot injuries were.. Weird. Having a leg torn or crushed was much better than rust, rust could destroy a robot if they aren't careful. So, luckily, besides being unable to walk, Scratch was somewhat safe. Definitely in some pain, but not anything lethal. Scratch looked down at Grounder, the two siblings exchanging looks. ".. I'm ready," he confirmed. Grounder nodded and helped Scratch stand, the two quietly walked back the whole way.

_______________________

I felt like writing hurt comfort cuz that's my main genre I like 🤭 anyways again sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes.

[ghostpill79]

3/19

1:02 Am

Listing to live performance of normal love by xiu xiu.

The lyrics are so good.

I wanna make something good.

I feel like shit. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t eat real food.

I want to cry right now.

Not crying.

Chewing on my comforter like I do.

Tomorrows not going to feel great. My grammar class sucks ass. Marketing is boring and dumb. I just wish I could do creative writing classes. It’s the only one I like. But if they were all like that it probably wouldn’t be good. I have to cancel or reschedule my therapist appointment. I could do it now , I’ll do it now.

2:30 AM

Still not asleep. Can’t stop thinking about music I don’t make when I’m able to. Wasn’t most of today. Well that’s harsh I got sone stuff done. But not enough for me to feel accomplished. I don’t know if I ever have or do feel that way. Maybe the closest I get is just not thinking about feeling accomplished. I’m just not thinking. I wish I had a vice to fall back on in times like this. Should I just drop out and move back home. Focus on the music. That’s not a good idea probably. I really don’t want to move back to Charlotte. Well actually I really don’t want to move back home with my mom. I should text that girl back. She seems cool. I would like being roommates with her. I guess I should look for places. And apply to them? Fuck I don’t want to do this. I want some one to just do it for me. I want it to just be done. The thought of putting effort into things that won’t for sure work out fills he with suicidal rage. I don’t want to fucking do anything. Ever.

2:39 am

Going to browse tinder because fuck what the fuck else am I gonna do!? What the fuck else is deserving of my time. It’s definitely not sleep.

2:41Am

Fuck tinder. I don’t want any of these hoes! Hahaha. I would kneel down just to lay eyes on a pussy. Just to catch a glimpse. I’d let them spit on me. I’d let them punch me. Not into the stepping on balls and dick stuff. No not my thing at all. I guess I mean do like watching humiliation stuff but I don’t think that’s something I’d want to participate in. I think the humiliation is probably much more deep seated. Well be it’s probably much more pathetic. My hand hurts from typing.

2:51 Am

Responded to girl I messaged a week ago about horror movies. She finally responded , asking me what REC is? I of course waited five minutes to respond to someone who made me wait a week. But she’s hot as fuck so fuck it. I have no shame. Like In the song I’m working on says. Even though I think I’m not going to use that line . The song is probably not going to ever be finished if I’m being honest. Must keep at it though . Must finish something.

12:14 pm

Saw that they them again. Leave me alone, you whore! She wasn’t a whore. They weren’t a whore. I don’t know. About to sit bored in marketing again. I could read to entertain myself a bit. It’s so fucking dumb - that class. Literally for baby brained retards.

12:28 pm

The Spotify algorithm loves fievel is glauque I like them too but Jesus. Every daily mix is like a quarter them.

Listening to answer by Tyler the creator now.

3:55 pm

Shitting. “ I were you I start working 80 , 90 hours a week”. I want to write about a southern guy who’s done with his life that runs over a twink. His freedom from his life comes at the cost of some one else’s. That’s the theme. I want to blow away my fiction class. I want to make a Paul Thomas Anderson esc story.

Preparing myself to go to grocery store so I don’t just eat chocolate like yesterday.

[that-one-i-think]

Okay so @hetaverseshit reblogged with me me me so I am gonna ramble out some thoughts but feel free to ask specifics and I will answer them tomorrow when I get some sleep. (Inspirations are some of my favorite alien/space media Mass Effect, Starbound, Fifth Element, Firefly and Star Trek)

I am going to get into races and plot points of some main characters (There will have to be a part 2)

Aphmau - She is an alien that was reanimated from a long dead species. Due to the reanimation process she has no memories but will soon gain more where she finds out she was some form of general. She is a rather humanoid alien but uncanny. Her markings from MCD are now eyes, her hair is more like long fur, her tan skin is almost reflective like that of a snake. Only her human eyes blink but you can't get over the feeling of being watched when near her.

Garroth - He is a straight up human, though heavily genetically modified by his father to make the perfect soldier and weapon. His dad is a wealthy buissness man who found money in fueling the publics fear of aliens. He has super soldiers and weapon bases throughout the star system. Garroth ran away leaving behind his brothers to find a way to stop his father. He managed to land on a job on a ship and made his way to becoming First Mate until his ship landed on a port and they were tasked to transport a package to one of his dads labs. The package came but his Captain never returned, and that is when he found Aphmau the stowaway and soon to be fake Captain of the S.S. Phoenix Drop

Laurance - He is a full blooded alien with humanoid features but is insectoid. He has a rather honey bee esc appearance with large solid black eyes that shine an iridescent green, fluffy hair that goes from a dirty blonde to a red-orange due to dye from the plants at home, he has 6 limbs, two pairs on arms that go from a golden peach skin tone to black with slender human like hands and legs that have a backwards knees but instead of feet, two little prongs. He comes from a planet full of mega flora and he was assigned to be an explorer but during his travels he got trapped in THE RED, a sort of destructive hive mind that has recently been awakened and infesting planets and taking over the more capable warriors to expand. Laurance was only in the early stages or the infestation and control before he was saved by the S.S. Phoenix Drop and healed by Zoey. In order to repay his self proclaimed debt, he now works as a navigator and gunner. Think fluffly space cowboy vibes.

Zoey - She is also from another mega flora planet but instead of being insectoid, she is more of a form of living plant. With her being rather similar to that of a mint plant (unkillable), she is the ships current practicioner of medicine, coming from a planet with the major export of medicinal herbs. She was once a skilled warrior from her planet but after serving as a combat medic when her planet was at war against an old version of THE RED centuries ago, she refused to fight any longer, instead choosing pacifism. She was recently hired onto the S.S. Phoenix Drop by the former Captain after their old medic, Donna, left to marry the K9-esc alien merchant Logan

Katelyn - She is a half human half alien hybrid, with her father being human and her mother coming from a race of amazonian-esc warriors. She is incredibly skilled and was a part of the galactic military before being recruited into the more private military force by Garte. While presenting rather human, she is very large in stature with almost lion esc features. She has an incredibly prominent nose and dark blue-black skin that is almost moon-like in a way and a mane of blue hair that she keeps neat. She tries to make herself as human as possible to fit in and due to resentment of her mother leaving. She joins the S.S. Phoenix Drop when on a mission by Zane to reposses the item only to get trapped in the scheme of the millenia. Her and Garroth recognize eachother but refuse to say anything.

Please remind me to make a part 2 tomorrow (Like, 10 am American Central Time)

Would anyone be interested in hearing about a SciFi MCD AU? Like I have nothing plotted out but if you ask questions I sure as hell will give you an answer.

[whatisgoingonpaul]

Lost boys backstorys

I made a post while ago on my ideas of the boys past but now I want to update it. I just want you to know I’m still a firm Prequel lover/follower however we don’t get much info on the boys Pre 1906, so that’s what this is for! However personally I would have had more Max so this is going to be both pre 1906 but also include relationship with Max a bit.

I am also including my personal ideas on Last names and age. However I am under the idea that they wouldn’t know/take their last name seriously if the did know it cause- ya know. Orphans. This is going to be lengthy and I’m going to pin it, not just because I want it seen but also to remind myself in fic writing (when I don’t follow these ideas in a fic it’s gonna be Marked as Au- as I’ll probably be messing around with a different past.)

I’ll be doing appearance but only physical as there’s some stylistic changes. For clothing? Honestly so thinking workers clothes/cowboy esc

Also! Their stories are all going to kinda intertwine so I’d there’s not enough info under one theirs a solid chance there’ll be more for them under someone else’s!

David Hardy-

Age(as of 1906): 19

Born: 1887

Appearance: Average height, his hair a dirty blond- near reddish and is around shoulder length. Bearded. (Think doc but with slightly updated clothing)

Backstory:

David Is the only of the boys to grow up with at least one of his parents, living with his mother until her death when he was around 7. They lived in a decent, though cramped little space in San Francisco, by the docks. His father worked on and off- a not so stable style ending in him getting involved in not doing saviory things - getting arrested. His mother worked as a washerwoman. David worked the streets awhile, as a young child now left alone, he learned to pickpocket and live off what he could manage. It was around this time he had found Marko- doing the same thing he was - though arguably less effectively do to his more sporadic nature. At around age 10 the two became extremely close and rather inseparable, Marko even looking up to him despite being the older of the pair. However david wasn’t one to living completely criminal like... he did NOT want to be his father, which lead him to not drinking , EVER. (Even as a vampire he still doesn’t do alcohol.) he poked towards more honest work, also forcing Marko into doing the same , which he wasn’t exactly thrilled about- but did anyway. Tried. David did a lot of work on the docks, odd jobs and stuff like that- but it never paid even half as good as nabbing a wallet or cheating at cards. He wouldn’t be his father- he’d be better- better then all the nobody’s. More level headed then Marko though  ambitious, big headed and still wildly child like- eventually Paul , Dwayne and Jasper joining the pair. Well now, David had himself a full on gang. Never robbery, not that far. The group pickpocketed , cheated at any sort of game or match, that sort of thing... they were still young after all. Smart enough not to go wild like some famous bandit (Though David will admit to his slight admiration of Billy the kid.). He’s a quick learner, and when he learns something- he learns it well- becomes a damn near expert. When he is good at something he is good at it. He is the leader out of the groups mutual respect towards him , quick thinker. Notable flaws: Huge ego, hopeless romantic.

Marko Connelly-

Age(as of 1906): 20

Born: 1886

Appearance: on the shorter side, golden - darker brown hair in this fluff of ringlets it’s long about just past his shoulder blades and typically tied back. Usually dirty somehow (Think Poli but with longer hair and updated clothing)

Backstory:

Born to a rich family , one of those who moved from east to west and actually did make it big. He was a pretty little thing, more a doll to his mother then particularly a child- only taken from Nanny to be dotted over or photos taken. However around the age of 3 or 4 things had tipped, scandal! Missing. That is what the newspapers said anyway he was found missing- was it that he was given away? Or stolen? He was never particularly a child to be quite or sit still or anything such as that... so who is to say? Marko doesn’t remember a lick of that either way as he was far far to young for it but he does remember being alone. This is how he had grown his attachment to birds, they always stuck around. He grew comfortable with being alone, having himself to depend on, getting good at grabbing what he needs- A mansion is stark contrast to dirty winding alleyways. He was always cursed with his looks- even filth covered at 6 he could make sad eyes and tend to swindle whatever he wanted... but he wasn’t completely quick. He’d get in trouble, his face memorable he could rarely pass the same trick again. At 11 David came across him, the two started working and living together (that is where they could find a place to sleep.) he sort of gained this complex. He felt he owed David , in some strange sense he became attached at the hip- a helper, a second- almost servant like the guy had saved his life and he is now the others. It didn’t help that at a young age, Marko had developed what was come to be understood as a deep crush- at times as teens this was reciprocated. As loyal and loving as he was to the other male he wasn’t nearly as cautious, as rule following... he had come to despise authority, to despise the fancy, the rich all of the crowd. He was never sure why. Even regular work got on his hate list... but he gave in and would try to do a normal amount pf work.. it never really worked as there was something, how he would sass, how he looked or smelled or spoke (neither him nor David really spoke ‘proper’ English - meaning no slang or accent). Around when Paul came things started to shift in the group, more mouths- more work and more thinking. Oh yea David and his thinking. Marko is a bit hostile right off the bat when it comes to people he doesn’t know, eventually he cracks and will be more loyal to you then to anyone you’d ever know. He opened up to Paul, a lot sooner then he would have thought the guy was funny and sweet - lil stupid too. David had this grand idea of a little gang, naturally Marko was all for it because illegal activity is fun- it was like a game to him. A liked stealing from pockets and playing distraction for David, as time grew he began to hate how young and gentle his face appeared to be. He LOATHED absolutely appalled the pity glances he would get, the hand outs the whole “oh you poor fragile little dear 🥺” he hated being babied and still does. He hated the stares he got on the opposite direction ... at first, it was funny, it was nice to be wanted in that sense rather then some baby. However... it grew creepy, it wasn’t women or a fella his age...it was more the gaze of older men. Marko detested it so much- he KNEW he’s seen what some of the guys... even younger then him ended up doing- he could see the occasional look in david’s eye. No he would never really consider....no. Paul was more his shoulder to cry on, someone to go to , to ramble to to speak with and just be with. The two were touchy, always leaning against eachother or grabbing their arms, laughing or sleeping or- eventually it became more then casual, it was serious. The two started ‘dating’ at some point- none of them were ever serious on titles but it was good to put a word to it.

Paul campbell-

Age (as of 1906) : 18

Born: 1888

Appearance: tall and lengthy, he has a mole on his left cheek, he has stubble/shadow opposed to a beard. He’s also usually dirty, dirty blond , long hair think Buffalo bill with volume and his hairline not receding

Backstory:

Grew up in a orphanage, hundreds of kids all stuffed together into a few rooms, often sharing beds and everything else. He was never a still child, he would always figit and move and shift - whenever he’s supposed to be quite or still like lessons or Mass he just couldn’t. This - got him most of the attention from the mistresses and overseers- much more quick to slap then to explain... he was docile , quick to flinch and try and stop. Never worked well. Once you get to 7-8ish you work if not adopted by a decent age. Sweeping, factory work he tried it all. He was particularly desensitized to violence at a extremely young age while working in a textile factory- he’s seen a kids arm come clean off. Terror turns to fascination eventually. At some point he’d stopped returning at night finding David and Marko at 15, he started hanging with them- it was safer in numbers that sort of thing- Paul could read a bit , David could write a bit- the three worked it out together. always so distracted- the others learned right off the bat he wasn’t built for pick pocketing no matter how hard he begged about it. Instead he’d do real jobs- sweeping , fighting, placing crooked bets that sort of thing. He always complains. A massive softie since he was young, Paul can’t quite handle being on his own- he’s used to having at least one other person around him at all times causing him to get quite hooked onto the other boys. He hovers around the same places. He is also a fan of dancing- Paul- is music obsessed the moment he heard the first noise of any sort of music he was hooked. He is one about fun- being restrained from it for so long as a child- always to sit out and watch or to think about whatever he did.. oh. Dancing, drinking, drugs, clubs, all of it is his kind of deal- he would drag the others with him when they had a bit of extra cash to deal with. Dwayne and his brother, when they joined on he was instantly accepting, unlike Marko he didn’t have the deep seeded trust issues, he was immediately touchy and happy to share a joke or a comment no matter the glares. He is the one to get Dwayne to lighten up a little bit, to smile he loves to see that smile :). He got around to dating Marko, when they finally put a label on it he was really giddy about it, making jokes and comments- he adores the little names like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘bo’ - he eventually gets around to just plain ‘sugar’ . Marko is the one who really entertains Paul’s love for dancing, the two of them trying to get the others to do something lighten up- eventually their pawing would bare fruit. Paul makes the best out of the worst situation, even if they end up sleeping on the beach more often then not- he somehow makes it seam alright. Except that one time he had gotten sand in Dwayne’s eye and all hell broke lose. He is the current youngest member of the group after Jaspers passing.

Dwayne Maher

Age (as of 1906) : 22

Born: 1884

Appearance: Tall, muscular , tanned(I will establish this now but Dwayne is Native American.) long Black hair with burnet highlights, reaches half down his back.

Backstory:

Born out more Midwest unlike the others he was not born in San Francisco, eldest son of a decent sized family of four kids. Do to conflict he and his younger brother skipped town, skipped state and fled to California.. better options you know?. He’s strong built, hard working and good with his hands though, rather playful most of the time. He looks after his younger brother closely, when there is work they work the same place, when there is not they both still do the same. Quickly took to David and the gang , having a tight knit bond with each of them. He was sort of the muscle - if there was trouble, he knew how to fight and it would likely work better then the knives the boys carried around or the gun David could barely shoot. It was Paul who got him to open up more, about himself and just to speak in general, he’s much more under his breath and jokingly commenting then he is saying something out loud- however if he dislikes something or thinks it stupid you WILL know it. Like David he carries the occasional thought of caution, however he’s not nearly as quick to worry. Maher is not his actual last name , nor does he ever mention it- he simply uses this one when it’s needed as some sort of identification or document. He’s surprisingly good at money, he ends up counting with David and is better at budgeting no matter how he may want or need something. He doesn’t speak on his past as he tries to make it seam he has little of one, he likes to make things mysterious he finds it amusing.

Jasper Maher-

Age (as of 1906) : 16

Born: 1890

Died: 1906

Appearance: shoulder length black hair, typically tied back and braided , tanned, string bean.

Backstory:

The younger brother of Dwayne who is much much more open on how he grew up, casually mentioning things he learned from his parents of his brother (he doesn’t remember his parents that much.) young hot shot sort of kid who’d much rather have action then he would some serious job, loud, energy filled and one for violence- however he’s surprisingly sweet. He often got himself and his brother into trouble. He was a quick and fast young child who grew surprisingly closest with Marko, the two having a habit for breaking every possible rule they could manage together. Their close friendship lead to Marko naming one of his birds after Jasper long after his passing.

Max-

Unknown age but he is seen as extremely old and powerful

Relationship with the boys:

After finding them he has decided to take them under his metaphorical and physical wing, acting as a sort of guardian. Food, clothing, shelter, he was everything the boys didn’t have and was surprisingly inviting in the beginning. ‘I do this for you, you on occasion do this for me’ sort of deal. He wasn’t a leader so much as he was a usual figure, the boys knew and understood him to be above them... so they followed you know? The whole new vampirism thing and the clueless kids- he had to explain and show nearly everything... especially to David, he wasn’t so much harsh to him as he was strict- more of a lead by example sort. Honestly he was father like in a strange sense- that someone is almost like a parent but very much your boss. See... with Max’s strength, there’s this almost automatic level of control- you can’t say no to him. You literally can’t not do what he asks (some supernatural level messing-). There’s something dark about him, in him that the boys still don’t understand in the 80s- but it scares them. It’s strange, it feels unlike him... he seams just like a Dorky , sweet man until...

Some random thoughts that don’t really fit anything

The boys are explicitly religious, past what you’d hear in passing or remember from growing up. Saying “oh god” and respecting religious officials are about what you’ll get

Whoopsies! This was a extremely long post lmao. Sorry for the long read but I could go on and on about them this was just a small blurb to all of it. If you ever wanna hear more do tell me. Also tell me if I should add tw for anything as I know I got a little dark at some points.

[sokumotanaka]

Name 1 time Team RWBY didn't care about or help people in the show!

Well yeah

Yang destroyed a nightclub with innocent patrons in it, no, before anyone assumes so they weren't STILL in when it crumbled but Yang walked in enticed a fight and them when the dude was gonna let it slide instigated it. Weather Jr. was a bad guy or not she brought a fight to a place with innocent civilians and didn't even glace back or feel bad once.

(yang's gonna get alot of these, be on the look out.)

And no these aren't in order nor am I gonna remember every single instant cause you idiots get uppity about technicalities like how "DUUUR Ozpin isn't their boss, he's their leader." Crap.

vv read more for mobile vv

In volume 1

- Yang calls a stranger she never met a lost cause cause she wasn't "graced" by yang's presence.

- Velvet was getting bullied and they all sat there, people sworn to protect the peace just watched racism happen (Mimics IRL too!) but only cared when jaune was involved.

- "You're discriminatory!" "I'm a victim!"

- The filthy faunus from the boat

- weiss went on a racist rant about faunus and never apologized to Blake or Sun. She then worded it as if she was doing weiss a favor for being the way she was.

- "I lieeeed" Thanks jaune you're creepy and an asshole

In volume 2

- Yang barely knows Blake and is shoving her to prove a point, even if she cares about her, shoving a stressed out and tired woman then inviting yourself for a hug is super uncomfortable.

- they drag a mech to a freeway sending cars flying and they dont even talk about it or try to see if those people are okay.

- Faunus are lied to by humans that the train they're taking that the explosives will be used to topple the government, the characters never try to explain that roman is just gonna use them as bodies and they could all try to stop him and disarm the bombs and try fixing the government together. There's never a talk.

- They seal the entrance and murder a bunch of faunus and then take a nap.

In volume 3

- Even if mercury is a villain from yang's perspective he's a fellow challenger and she punches him way after his aura breaks which was considered illegal.

- Pretty much everyone literally going "In this friendly competition, let's smack talk that we're gonna make the other bleed." (I know who says that but Yatsu literally is like "I wont hold back." like this is suppose to be FRIENDLY.

- Yang gets pissed that blake registers this thing called fear and guilt and runs away cause she blames herself for her Ex's mental stability. But later Yang admits she wanted her there physically for her benefit, fuck whatever blake wanted I guess.

In volume 4

- "Oh no we gotta hurry to haven, let's walk."

- Ren: I should probably tell them there's a powerful grimm at my old home and they're carrying an injured man but I dont wanna. (Confirmed by miles btw that he wanted to show that there's a bit of selfishness in that decision...but If you're my friend and there's a shark in the water I'll still tell you? Cause I'm not an asshole.)

- Everything to do with Qrow

- Everything to do with jaune's manpain

-Blake about to draw her weapon on a ship captain

- Weiss doesn't' even yell no or reach out as her summon is about to attack a person.

In volume 5

- Ozpin not teaching ruby to use her silver eyes or even telling her.

- Yang literally punching a dude in a bar (No I'm not saying he didnt deserve it. But Miles and kerry call it yang brushing him off in the commentary and you dont brush a person off by grabbing them so they couldn't be brushed off, that's the opposite XD)

- Them arriving in mistral and not being in a hurry to tell anyone in charge about cinder, what she plans to do and anything about beacon.

- Oscar literally projecting on ruby for no reason (honestly we didn't need a second jaune, ruby barely get's development but that's a whole other rant.)

- "Humans didn't do this WE did." Bitch they just live there don't tell them they gotta EARN equality, was this written by a brainlet? (Yes it was)

- Ruby punching oscar a kid with no battle experience square in the face during sparring and cheering after.

- Literally forgiving Ironwood, genocidal ass but instantly going "Let's just murder leo the minority. No jail time, no "why's" just end them from Ozpin.

volume 6

- TURN OFF THE TURRETS PROTECTING THE TRAIN AND KILLING GRIMM THE PEOPLE ARE SCARED XD

- Yang trying to intimidate maria for going "hey fighting in a blizzard is dangerous for two reasons, 1. it's a blizzard and 2. Grimm sense all of your guy's anger, we should find shelter." And yang tries to tell her to shut up XD

- Qrow punching a child regardless of his feelings on ozpin, he's still hosting a child's body

- Team RWBY drawing their weapons on oscar

- Oscar helping them find jinn's name and kinda holding ozpin back and then after Qrow punches him yang balls up her fist and demands he bring him back out. (No matter how stressed you are, oscar is still a child and if your uncle is gonna punch, you the more rash of the two will definitely punch.

- Them being invited into jaune's sister's house and jaune putting a hole in the wall and it never comes up with the couple.

- Jaune yelling at oscar and grabbing him by his collar and for some reason the kid looks up to him???

- Ruby's stupid "we never needed adult help" speech while she sits in an adult couple's house and got lead there by adults and learned how to use her silver eyes to save her and her friends by an elderly lady literally standing behind her. (Great, selfish)

- Salem (she isn't a hero but people for some reason sympathize with her) Literally watches people get thanos snapped and just goes "I'll bring more." She had to spend at least a week with these people to form alliances, and get to know some of them and this was all for ONE GUY! This is literally what people laugh at Obito for it's the exact same motivation of making a pile of people's bodies all of their benefit.

- Also Salem: Walking through the empty world literally going "oh no with no people....how will I get my revenge!?" This is shippuden Esc Writing.

Future volumes

(So I stopped at vol 6 thank god but a friend of mine told me what happened in the future arcs.)

- Literally NOW weiss owns up for her family and her complicit attitude only for a new faunus to go "well it doesn't involve me so I dont care."

- Ren calling out yang's rash attitude and then her stepping infront of him fist balled, because again yang thinks she's a god and getting her ideas and thoughts questioned or challenge invites PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.

And no I dont care about future volumes so dont come into my inbox preaching "Oh well jaune ran into a house and saved some kittens so that should absolve all of their heavy flaws cause I'm a smart." : )

[nyaheum]

My yearly list of Eurovision songs after the first impression (I mean, for like, half of them. I heard snippets of some songs.). Judged on music videos, because...if I only listen to the songs on Spotify, my eyes get bored. :’)

(oh, and don’t talk to me about iceland’s placement, I know this might be unpopular)

X. Belarus

Fuck Belarus, all my homies hate Belarus. Not even going to grace them with a rating.

Norway (TIX – Fallen Angel)

...no. :( And it’s not even because Keiino didn’t win, I just wholeheartetly hate this song. And I’m kinda sorry to TIX, because he seems like a cool dude and his stage outfit is absolutely hilarious, but oh my god do I hate this song with an absolute burning passion.

Poland (RAFAL – The Ride)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji – well, this is a non-qualifier if I’ve ever seen one. Can we just...skip this?

Belgium (Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place)

Nap time! This song annoys me. I cannot explain it, but it gives me a headache and my whole body is revolting against this song. I am not kidding. Objectively, I don’t even hate it, but there’s just something about it...that makes me go...hnghgng…

North Macedonia (Vasil – Here I Stand)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji ver. 2 – I am not trying to sound mean, but does North Macedonia do any music that is not dramatic power ballads? I’m serious. (And I don’t like it, sorry. :((...except for the high notes, I like them. When he can hit them live.)

Estonia (Uku Suviste – The Lucky One)

This (the music video)...is soft porn. I am slightly scared of Uku. I don’t know why. But, uh...this is better than last year’s song? Still, it wouldn’t qualify under my watch, whoops.

Georgia (Tornike Kipiani – You)

He stopped yelling angrily at the microphone. :((( Nah, but this isn’t my thing. It’s great that they are doing their own thing, it’s just not really my thing...it also reminds me of a song I know, damn.

Austria (Vincent Bueno - Amen)

He looks like a german youtuber. I don’t know hich one, but he looks like one. I also canot tell if he’s 18 or 38, lol. (For some reason he also reminds me of Alex Albon, which is even weirder.)...oh, uh, the song? Idk, I don’t care for I. It’s fine.

Spain (Blas Cantó – Voy A Querdarme)

Confession: I’m probably the only person who actually doesn’t like the sound of Spanish all that much. Whoops. Apart from that though, I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Can’t really say more about that. Meh.

The Netherlands (Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age)

Listen: I really like the tone of this voice. It’s great. I am not a fan of the song. There’s something just very off about the loud percussions (?) in the background that make me go absolutely crazy when listening to this. My sensory-overload-prone ears hate it, and I’m sorry...the part before the last chorus on the other hand I love. The whole song could have sounded like that and I would have loved it. (...and I can’t unhear “You are my broccoli – You know my broccoli!” ;-;)

Azerbaijan (Efendi – Mata Hari) Whenever I see Efendi, my brain still goes “Cleopatrrrrra!”, oof. This song sounds like a song I know. Which...is super unprecice, but I genuinely don’t know which one. I do like that they kept the weird pre-chorus thing from Cleopatra (and reference the song later on), but I must say that I liked Cleopatra more...but it’s a party song, so I think it will be fun on stage!

Romania (ROXEN - Amnesia)

I didn’t like her song last year, I don’t enjoy this all too much and I’m kinda sorry but also...I don’t want to apologize for my taste in music, lmao. I want her hair though. Give me her hair.

Denkmark (Fyr & Flamme – Ove Os Pa Hinanden)

Ring ding ding, native language bonus. This is also way more fun than I thought it would be, hah. VERY retro, but I don’t hate that? :D (this and sweden really aren’t any different in terms of how much I like them)

Portugal (The Black Mama – Love Is On My Side)

I can appreciate this. I just wish it was in Portuguese, honestly. I don’t really know if I like the English for this song. That being said, I don’t know if you can make these very specific tones (you know what I mean) in portuguese without it sounding super off, so…

Ireland (Lesley Roy – Maps)

Okay, you do you Ireland. :D

Israel (Eden Alene – Set Me Free)

This exists. :D

Cyprus (Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo)

Cyprus came to party, and I can’t be mad at that. I just don’t know why everybody in the YouTube comments loves this SO MUCH that they are sure that it will win if it gets the jury votes. I don’t think it’s as good as Fuego or She Got Me were, but maybe I just have no taste in party music. I don’t party. (Only if you got a 2000s playlist and some iced tea.)

France (Barbara Pravi – Voilà)

FRANCE sending a BALLAD? In MY Eurovision? It’s more likely than you think. It’s good, objectively. Personally, I don’t really care for it all that much and feel like I already know it.

United Kingdom (Embers – James Newman)

A good, modern song? In my british eurovision song? What happened on the Isles over quarantine? Are you guys okay? Did you find yourself? Have you taken your last breath (breath!) and looked at your past results? I’m impressed enough to put this relatively high, wow.

Serbia (Hurricane – LOCO LOCO)

*adore delano voice* party! Oh, and native language bonus...for a party song! I’m...impressed, actually. I cannot decide wheter I prefer this or Hasta La Vista, but I think it’s this one? The flows smoother, if that means literally anything.

Bulgaria (VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old)

*shrugs* I think a lot of people will like this. And I get that. I think I even understand it...yeah. I didn’t like her song last year either. It’s just personal preference, I think. I just want to have fun during Eurovision, hah.

Finland (Blind Channel – Dark Side)

Finland: FUCK YOU!!! Germany: Fuck you. <3

That’s all I’ll say, we know how the Finnish are, this is not surprising, lmao. (And I’m one of those children that grew up on Rammstein, so I legally cannot dislike this.)

Croatia (Albina - Tick-Tock)

Tick-tock, can you hear me go tick-tock? My heart is like a clock, I'm steady like a rock-...oh wait, wrong tick-tock! Still, really enjoy this song’s chorus – I actually enjoy it so much that it makes up for the utter loss of interest I experience once it’s over, chrm.

Sweden (Tusse – Voices)

I mean...let’s be honest, it’s a generic swedish pop song. It sounds like every other Swedish entry, and I think that bothers me. I know, that sounds kind of...weird, looking at my choices higher up in the list, but...meh. I think this will easily qualify for the Final and place high, and I am totally okay with that. It’s just not...what I wanted, I guess? :D (and i’m sorry but as a german-speaker I cannot get over the name “tusse”) (oh, and tusse seems to be super cool)

Albania (Anxhela Peristeri - Karma)

Oh, we’re going to war in 130 A.D.? Fine, let me just pack my spear and- oh, Albania has already sent a singer? Ah, well, might as well give up and just vibe.

Czech Republic (Benny Cristo - omaga)

This sounds fun. Not a winner or anything, but fun. I’ll probably still be on Twitter when he’s performing, whoops.

Slovenia (Ana Sklic - Amen)

Wait, there’s TWO songs called Amen? And why do I actually kinda like this? Oh well, might as well just accept it. (Her voice though...mhmmhmhm…yes please)

Iceland (Dadi og Gagnamagnid – 10 Years)

We just vibin’. I liked Think About Things more, but I’m very much biased here...because I’ve known that song for a year now. But this is still very good, and very on brand. (And I understand like...half of the lyrics, but I am okay with that.)

Australia (Montaigne - Technicolour)

not australia flexing at all of europe that they can hold big gatherings! D: oh, but I like this way more than last years song. I feel like Montaigne can show her GREAT voice way better in this song. (Even though her outfit and the sound of the song reminds me of the UK song that had...a dude run on the stage. I can’t think of the word for it right now.)

Malta (Destiny – Je Me Casse)

Destiny’s voice is just….wow. This is very different than All My Love, but it’s fun. The topic of the lyrics kinda remind me of Toy, and I like that…..I don’t really like the music video (especially the dancers in the colorful dresses? idk), but I’ll just ignore that.

Germany (I Don’t Feel Hate - Germany)

Confession time: I actually actively enjoy this song. Everybod is shitting on it, but it’s FUN and it has a good message, and Jendrik seems like the nicest dude ever and...it doesn’t deserve all the hate it’s getting? It’s completely self-produced and just fun. Stop being mean. :(

(...also someone on youtube said “pewdiepie” and I can’t unsee that now so fuck you >:((...no, no I don’t feel hate, just rethink your life choices)

Moldova (Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR)

What in the “Eis.de ist in der Kiste” is this music video? And I thought I would absolutely hate this song, but I actually don’t mind it all that much. It’s actually fun. Oh no, I’m splipping, someone catch me, aaaaaahhhhh….(and that poor cake dude. Is this song about cannibalism? Does she want to eat him?)

San Marino (Senhit – Adrenalina)

Catch me hum the chorus of this song at least once a day...but honestly, without any malicious intent: what the actual FUCK san marino? This is so much better than Freaky, and even though I do not believe for one second that this will win, the simple outragiousness of bringing Flo Rida to Eurovision deserves attention. (Bringing someone like Flo Rida to ESC sounds more like Scandinavia/Bulgaria, doesn’t it?)

Russia (Manizha – Russian Woman)

Not gonna lie, I miss Little Big, but at least they are sending something that’s at least as weird. I love that. Russian Rap is cool as fuck anyway, so I’m fully here for this...but I’m glas this song doesn’t have a music video, this just has to be a live performance. (Oh, and another strong woman!)

Ukraine (Go_A – SHUM)

I’m SO glad Go_A are back. But, let me be completely honest: I know why they had to change the lyrics, but I still liked the first version better. BUT I feel like the new one will grow and me and it will climb one or two places, because the Instrumental just slaps SO HARD. (Makes me feel like putting on a Cybergoth outfit and start dancing at a German industrial park, lmao.)

Latvia (Samanta Tina – The Moon Is Rising)

Does this count as my guilty pleasure this year? I loved her song last year, and this sounds similar, so...I like this too. It sounds modern as fuck (well, for Europe, you know) and I can definitely...”vibe” with that. I genuinely really enjoy this, and I don’t know why. (Even though I prefer last years drop.) A lot of “strong, independent women”-songs this year, and I’m not complaining.

Switzerland (Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers)

Just so we’re clear, this and Italy share the exact same spot. I just cannot compare them at all. Gjon’s voice just takes me hostage throughout this whole song and won’t let me go. And everything that isn’t english/is in the countries offical language immediately gets plus points from me. As if this song needed them anyway.

Lithuania (The Roop – Discoteque)

Aaaaaand...dance break! Good, I just love them so much, it’s not even funny anymore. And I’ve been singing this song randomly since it came out. I can’t stop. It has burned itself into my brain. Let’s dis-co-teque right at my home! *waves arms around with no sign of coordination*

(and does anyone else feel like he’s serhat, just with a different alignment? Like, they are both chaotic, but serhat is chaotic neutral and he’s either chaotic good or chaotic bad, it really depends on the way he looks at the camera)

Italy (Maneskin – Zitti E Buoni)

Italy delivers, as they do every year. Not only do I really like this song (it is very much my genre), THIS is an aesthetic I can get behind! Knowing Eurovision, I doubt it will win, but damn if it won’t be super fun! (I am so glad this won Sanremo, hah.)

[all-things-fic]

Mistletoe Jam

A/N: Merry Christmas from me to you. I don’t where this came from, all I know is I lost a lot of sleep trying to get this finished last night. Hope you all enjoy and thanks to anyone who has ever read anything I’ve posted on here.

Title comes from a Luther Vandross song purely because I like these lyrics in particular - ‘Glad I got big feet cause they're so good for dancin'. Glad you got big legs cause they're so good when we're romancin'

Shoutout to @waitingfortwilight, @harryfeatgaga and @haute-romance-quotidienne for reading this here and there.

~*~

You closed your eyes and let the back of your head hit the headrest behind you in the passenger seat.

“Swear I’m going to change my name,” you muttered under your breath as you heard your son whine Mum for the fifth time in a row.

Harry chuckled in the driver's seat next to you, fore and middle finger resting against his lips as he leaned his elbow on the drivers side door. You were sat in standstill traffic, looking to exit the car park of Cheshire Oaks.

You had a death wish coming here on Christmas Eve but unfortunately in your mad dash attempt to get out of London, you’d left an entire sack of presents behind that were sat next to your tree that had been up for all of a week.

To say you weren’t looking forward to hoovering up after it when you returned to the big smoke in the new year would be an understatement.

However, the actual shopping itself hadn’t been too bad. You’d tag teamed. Harry took your eldest boy with him, leaving you to take your daughter into the one place you knew would keep her occupied: Pets at Home. You’d deal with the constant requests of getting a rabbit over the next 48 hours, if it meant she was quiet enough to allow Harry to grab whatever toy she had suddenly requested from Father Christmas since you’d arrived back up North. 

“Mum,” came the whine again, causing you to look around in your chair and see the culprit. Hidden behind a Barbie doll that had been completely stripped naked, baring a pair of cowboy boots, you found the inquisitive blue eyes of your son.

You spoke his name, watching the way he dropped the doll to show you his cheeky smile. “Can we stay up late and look for Santa?,” he asked, his head slightly tilting as he did so. He really was pulling out all the stops today.

Staying silent, you felt Harry’s gaze look at you from the corner of his eye before he looked up at his son through the rear view mirror. “Doesn’t work like that mate,” he started, causing your little boy to turn his gaze away from yours. “Need to go to sleep, or else he doesn’t show up. Good boys and girls sleep in their own beds,” you heard Harry pause to allow the latter part of his sentence to resonate, as much as it could with a toddler, before he continued anymore.

Staying silent you thought Harry was going to continue, however instead when your gaze moved to look at him, you saw the way he appeared to be holding back an expletive at how someone cut him up to get into a parking space that had become available while you sat in idle traffic.

“Dad’s right, baby,” you agreed, watching the way his face fell into a small frown. His mouth fell slightly agape, you cutting in before he could start to whine. “Hey, you know Father Christmas is watching you right now don’t you-“

His mouth shut as his bottom lip started to protrude, his face rolling to look out the window to his right like he was some moody singer filming a pensive part of an emotive music video. 

“He’s sulking now,” you muttered, turning back in your seat.

“Am not,” he shot back, your mutter obviously not low enough to go unnoticed. You knew it was wrong given he was probably far too over stimulated as it was, but you couldn’t quite help it.

From the corner of your vision your saw that he started to go stiff in his seat, stretched out and showcasing his frustration. Still idle in traffic, you watched Harry turn in his seat to turn his gaze on his son.

“Enough,” he spoke assertively, hand pressing against the taut legs of his son. “You’ve been good all morning,” he continued, seeing no change in his son's temper. 

“One,” he started, causing you to shift slightly in your seat. “Two,” you turned to look at him, seeing the way your little boy shifted, body relaxing. “Good boy, sit back nicely for Dad-“ he manoeuvred back in his drivers seats lowering his voice as he continued, “-so he can get off this bloody car park in one piece.”

***

Anne’s house just smelled like Christmas.

Of fresh baking and spiced Christmas candles. It was cosy too. The kind of warmth that enveloped you the minute you stepped foot into the hallway from the porch. 

She smiled a knowing smile when she saw your frazzled hair once you pulled off your winter hat and quickly took your hand, dragging you in the opposite direction that Harry had taken the kids.

“I have mulled wine,” she passed comment, turning to look at your face from over her shoulder. “No? How about a glass of prosecco?” 

“Isn’t it a bit early?” You said, eyes taking in the mountain of washing up in her sink, as you messed with the waistband of your jeans and sorted out your jumper. 

“Never, not when it’s Christmas,” she smiled. “Besides I think we’ll both need to be a little bit pissed to attack the mountain of washing up.”

Regardless of receiving an actual answer, she poured the prosecco for you, glass being handed over smoothly before she took to pouring her own. As her eyes lifted from the job, she noticed Harry in the kitchen doorway, removing his gloves and shoving them into the pocket of his black coat.

“Or we could get my lovely son to do it,” she let her gaze move over your shoulder as she sipped from her own delicate glass. 

“Barely got me coat off and you’re already giving me jobs,” he spoke deeply, leaning against the doorframe. Turning to look at him you noticed the way his eyes lovingly shone over at his mother, before they scanned the kitchen like it was some sort of crime scene.

He groaned as his eyes stilled on the sink, immediately catching on as to what was being asked of him. “I’ll do it under one condition,” his eyes cut to yours before moving back to his Mum’s. “You let me wear the gloves.”

Anne laughed, hand covering her mouth as she tried not to splutter her prosecco everywhere. “I have new ones,” she said, with glittery eyes. Before you could even catch onto the gloves and the meaning behind them, your mother-in-law had hidden herself away in the pantry.

Eyes fell to Harry as he placed himself next to you. He loved the confused but oh so intrigued look that you wore. “Just wait,” he hummed, hands pressing against the kitchen surface and nudging his head back to where his mother stood, wordlessly making you move your eyes towards the same direction.

“Managed to find these in the pound shop when I popped into town with Louise, they had others but you know how I am with my sparkle-“

Harry hummed, with his lips twitching into the boyish smile. “Come on,” he moved his hand in come hither motion. “Let me ‘ave at ‘em.”

Without another word Anne tossed the pair of gloves onto the kitchen work surface. Your eyes dropped to the item that clattered thanks to the gaudy diamond that sat - from what you could tell - super glued onto the middle finger of the latex gloves. 

“Pound shop upping its game with the introduction of an old Swarovski-esc cocktail ring, I see.”

You didn’t quite know what to say, as you watched your husband marvel with humour at the monstrosities that he seemed eager to don. 

“Where’s the washing up liquid then?” Harry said shaking off his coat and quickly taking to unbuttoning the sleeves of his shirt and rolling them up to the crook of his elbow. “Dishes aren’t gonna do themselves.” 

The laughter of sheer delight that left Anne’s chest cause you to cut your eyes over to her. It was nice to see her in such a way, carefree and in awe of her baby over the silliest thing. You often wondered if the face she wore looking at both Gemma and Harry was an expression that flirted across your face over the littlest thing that your own son and daughter did. 

You eyes watched Harry as he snatched at the gloves, pulling the red latex over his hands and making them stretch against his ring-clad fingers.

“Wha’ size did you get these in,” he moaned around a husky laugh, his fingers clenching underneath the latex into a fist before expanding once more.

“Didn’t look, darling,” Anne nonchalantly replied, swiping up her phone and snapping a picture of Harry off-guard. He frowned lightly over at her, only for Anne to softly laugh. “Since I’m no longer needed here,” she continued, picking up the bottle from the middle of the kitchen island. “I have some gran-babies to cuddle and annoy since my children no longer enjoy my offers of affection.”

“No, we just enjoy your successful attempts at free labour more. Clearly,” Harry shook his soapy-sud hands out, flicking dishwater in the process.

“I’m letting you stay for free over the festive period and feeding you, ‘s the least you can do.”

He couldn’t argue with that one, his eyes falling to yours as you sipped your drink wearing a smile that was far more triumphant looking than it should be.

“Don’t know why you’ve got a face on you like tha’,” he started, grabbing at the tea towel next to him. “You’re drying.”

The very same tea towel came flying at you, your hand swiping to move your half filled glass to save a spillage and trying to defend yourself. 

You didn’t make any effort to move as Harry turned off the tap and got to making sure that all the pots, pans and plates were submerged underneath the surface.

The way his back looked underneath his shirt as he moved his hands around the sink was attractive. It sounded daft and if you weren’t coherent enough you’d blame the prosecco, but even the back of him glowed from happiness (and maybe an extra serving of dessert or two). 

Breaking the silence Harry said, “Need to up me ring game.”

You watched the way he shook out his hand, soapy suds once again flicking against the kitchen counter. “Old Mrs Claus, looking to play away.”

“What are you on about?” You said, leaning against the kitchen counter, hand reaching for the packet which had once held the washing up gloves. Eyes took in the label, flicking it over to read the product description to yourself. 

“Wearing her diamond on the incorrect finger, innit.”

“Probably got a thing for one of the elves. Husband’s let himself go a bit-“

“Santa or me?” He chuckled.

You smiled against the lip of your champagne flute, eyes moving upwards to see the profile of your husband’s face as he stopped all washing up to look at you. “All I’m saying is maybe only leave one mince pie out for Santa this year when you’re helping the kids set up the plate.”

“Look, Santa is a strapping lad,” he spoke with conviction. “He can’t help it, if Mrs Claus is a feeder.” 

“I am not a feeder, Harry,” you laughed, throwing the tea towel back at him. 

“Darling, I don’t know what kind of role play you’re into but maybe this is something we should pick up after we’ve put the kids to bed.” 

“Was just about to ask you the same thing,” you bit back, eyes once again dropping down the packaging that encased the gloves. “Glamourous red and pearly washing up gloves,” you cleared your throat, eye flickering up to see the way his face had pulled into a smile, as he added another plate to drying rack. 

“These fun and stylish gloves make even the dirtiest jobs look fabulous!”

“I can concur-“

Smiling, and hearing it lace your voice, you continued, “The pair of gloves are not only practical but they are complete with a fur lining, pearl bracelet-“

“To match my necklace-“

“-and a superbly sized diamond.”

“Superbly sized diamond, only the best for Mrs Claus.” 

“Funny Secret Santa gift for women-“

“And men-,” Harry interjected. 

“Both fun and practical for doing the dishes.”

He stayed silent at that one, you too remaining tight lipped waiting for him to say something. When you eyes slowly pulled away from the packet, you met his from across the kitchen island.

You noticed the way his forehead held a light perspiration and the front of his shirt was slightly wet from where he had been leaning a little too closely over the sink.

His hair fell against his forehead and into his eyes, that held an expression that made it so you felt like you couldn’t break your gaze. 

“You know what else rhymes with dishes? Missus.” 

The way his lips twitched as he spoke, the crinkles next to his eyes deepening. “Both fun and practical for doing the missus.”

“Harry,” you chastised him under your breath.

“Wha’,” he drawled, expression mischievous. “I’m telling Mum we’re keeping these.” 

“You do realise that Santa is watching,” you swiped your glass, downing the remainder of your prosecco.

“How’d you know he’s not into it?”

The competitive person in you wanted to counter his question with a question of your own, but instead you chose to give him something to really think about.

Slipping down from the breakfast bar stool, you turned to leave the room, stilling in the doorway.

“That makes two of us then.”

***

Somehow between 1pm and 8pm Harry had managed to remember he was a father of two rather than rampant teenager bringing his girlfriend home for their first Christmas together. 

He’d been the ever-doting Dad after he had left the kitchen, helping the kids put together and decorate the gingerbread house at Anne’s dining table, taking a danger nap with his little girl during an afternoon showing of Frozen on BBC One and cooking a Christmas Eve feast suitable for the whole family. 

Rather than fight against the family pyjamas, instead he lead the charge, helping to encourage the coercing of your son into his along the way. 

He got excited when you pulled out the hand crafted plate that said “Dear Santa” along the top and then “Love from,” followed by the names of your son and daughter along the bottom. 

There was no doubt about it, Harry was all in. 

With a carrot and mince pie now placed on the fireplace, Harry now sat with a sweaty child pressed into his side on Anne’s sofa, with Love Actually on the television going in one ear and out the other. 

Your son had put up a fight to sleep, like his earlier episode in the car let you know he would do. His little body bouncing around before creeping along the landing, only for Harry to peek up the stairs and tell him to come down.

He was a hard child to stay mad at, more so when he cuddled into your side to begin with until getting cosy next to his Dad. Part of you wondered if he was becoming under the weather, given the way his cheeks were rosy and his skin clammy.

“Probably this cheap polyester you’ve forced us into,” Harry playfully jibed, knowing just how mad you’d been when you read that the pyjamas you had bought off the internet under the illusion of being 100% cotton, were in fact only 80% cotton and 20% polyester. 

Your hand was held against his forehead as Harry stood with his limp and sleepy body in the middle of the living room. “He’s definitely coming down with something,” you worried your bottom lip.

Harry dropped his lips to his son's forehead, keeping his voice in a hushed whisper as he reassured you that he just needed to get some rest. 

Falling back into your space on the couch, you half listened as Harry left the room asking you to pause the film so he didn’t miss anything. You fought the urge to roll your eyes at how he and everyone else could by now recite Love Actually considering how it had become a classic for this time of year. 

“I’m just going to nip out and grab those presents from the boot of the car,” he said poking his head around the living room door upon his return. 

Lifting your head from the Radio Times magazine that you’d managed to swipe from Anne as she retired upstairs earlier for a bath and to get straight into bed, you nodded when you met his eyes.

“Want to crack open tha’ bottle of red when I come back?” He suggested, fiddling with the collar of his coat, car keys jingling in his hand. 

“Can’t get too pissed, still gotta wrap some presents-“

“I didn’t hear that,” he replied, shutting the door behind him before heading out to the drive to retrieve the purchases both he and you had made earlier.

In his absence, you took in the cosy living room that surrounded you and felt your body sink into the sofa as you relaxed. This was the least frantic you’d felt all day, regardless of the mountains of wrapping you still had to do.

Your children had been wiped when they finally fell asleep, which was always a win for any parent. It meant that they would probably give you the chance to sleep in a little later than usual for Christmas Day. There was nothing wrong with being hopeful that your gaze met 7am on the alarm clock rather than the usual 5am.

The presents that already sat underneath the tree, made your heart soar. Material things did not mean much at all, but there was no doubt it that every single person in this family - your family - was loved. 

Standing from your seat, you let your feet lead you along the carpet and out into the dimly lit hallway of Anne’s house. Pictures of Harry and Gemma, as children, littered the walls. Some of the frames and pictures replaced since you had first set foot in the family home, with images of your own children and Gemma’s too.

The strong sense of family always comforted you when you stayed at Anne’s. Took a gentle hold of your body and consumed you in the nicest way.

Both glasses and the bottle retrieved, you quickly shut the door of the living room to make sure that barely any of the heat from the roaring fire left the fairly sized and cosy space. 

Sitting on the edge of the couch, you quickly unscrewed the bottle of red and poured two reasonable sized glasses.

Leaving one atop of the coffee table, you plucked up the stem of your glass and sunk back into the cream couch. You knew you’d have to be extra careful as the night went on and more of the rich and acidic drink was consumed. 

The rustling of bags let you know that Harry had returned into the house from outside, with the door of the front room opening not long after. 

“Can feel the cold coming off you,” you commented as he set down the four bags he had retrieved. 

“Cars icing up,” he commented, tugging off his coat and throwing it into the spare armchair over the other side of the room. As he turned, he wore a warm smile once his eyes saw the way you were offering over a glass of wine.

Now stood from your seat, he padded his socked feet against the carpet over to you and gently peeled the stem from your grasp. Sipping the drink and keeping his eyes locked with yours, he noticed the way you dropped your stare to his lips as he licked away the lingering wine residue. 

His free hand cupped at the back of your forearm, cold fingers easy to feel through your thin pyjamas. He soothed his hand up the back of your arm, scooping you into him.

Looking down at you with his softened jawline, he hummed the first thoughts on his mind. “Not kissed you all day-“

And he hadn’t. Things had been manic and the day has mainly been about your children, and present swapping with friends. Outside of the other activities previously thought back on.

“Or night,” you mused in return.

He tutted, “Night’s’not over yet.”

Humming you tilted your head slightly when you felt his hand hit the back of your neck. You shivered from his cold touch as he mumbled his sorry’s against your lips.

With a soft shake of the head you dismissed him and welcomed his tender and gentle kiss. His lips puckered at yours and softly drew you into his every want and desire.

As he went to pull away you lured him back with a soft pull to his top lip, feeling him smile at how you didn’t want to break away. He happily obliged you, opening his mouth wider to devour you, enticed by your plusher figure against his and the warmth radiating off you.

“‘S all this,” he mumbled against your cheek, as he tried to calm his breathing and remember not to lose grip of his wine. 

“Jus’ showing you how much you mean to us-“

“Shouldn’t that be me to you,” he corrected. “Would be lost without you, Mommy.” 

Pulling back you looked at him, welcoming the soft peck he left on your lips as you stared at each other. A small laugh left him as he pressed a second and third peck to your lips in quick succession, “‘s not getting the wrapping done is it?”

“You started it,” you mumbled into your glass as he turned to stand behind you and grabbed for the bags. 

Before he got to them however he stalled all movement, looking at your profile with a gleam in his eye. “I’ll bloody well finish to an’ all, after we’ve done this wrapping.”

“Nothing sexier than a man who gets a job done and get its done proper.”

He laughed down his nose at that, before he groaned as he managed to get his body down to the floor.

“Don’t do things by halves, love. Should know that by now. Now, who’s present was the Barbie kitchen set?”

***

That’s how you spent the majority of the night, rummaging through the plastic bags and putting together two piles of presents for each of your children. 

Once it had been decided who was having what, you did your equal share of the wrapping. Harry actually better at wrapping than you were always led to believe by the man himself. You knew he often opted for the gift wrapping service at a Selfridges or a Harrod’s, but here he was slumming it like everyone else. 

“How’s it feel being like every other peasant and wrapping your own gifts?”

He chuckled, mouth closed as it held onto a piece of sticky tape that was going to be used after he’d neatened up the edges of the LOL drawing set that you’d bought for your little girl.

“Actually very rewarding,” he deadpanned, “‘s probably the wine tha’s making it less of a chore though. That and my incredibly easy on the eye wife cheering me on.”

He did find himself getting bored when he was three quarters of the way through however, finding ways to entertain himself like sticking one of the bows to his forehead to give himself to you as a present, which had you giggling over at him with bleary, wine eyes.

“You’re a daft sod,” you said pressing your outstretched foot into his thigh and enjoying the way he cupped the top of the same foot, keeping it close to him. 

You could tell he was getting restless when he started talking about all manner of different Christmas facts that he’d heard around the studio, or in meetings to break up long sessions of recording or tour logistics. 

“Did you know?” He started, “Paul McCartney earns £250,000 a year off his Christmas song, which is widely regarded as the worst song he ever recorded.”

“Obviously not by you,” you deadpanned, as you concentrated on trying to find the end of the sticky tape as it had stuck itself back together.

“I’ve probably helped up his royalties actually, d’ya think I could get a cut of that?” You laughed, looking up at him from the final present you were wrapping. “I’m serious, I’ll have a word with Sonny and see if he can mention it to his Uncle Paul.”

Rather than responding, you reached for the last of your wine and swallowed it in one gulp. Empty glass on the table, you looked over at your husband who wore a flushed face, either from the wine or the heat within the room. You did notice he had pushed the sleeves of his pyjamas top up into the crook of his elbow.

“Did you know,” he whimsically asked in a whisper.

“Probably not, Harry, but go on-“

“It’s well known that mistletoe is an aphrodisiac, a symbol of fertility,” Harry spoke with concentration as he looked down at the paper which housed the toys that he had done a mad dash to The Entertainer store for, once you daughter mentioned how she had changed her list to Father Christmas. This was his final gift to wrap. 

“You can forget it, Styles,” you bit back, watching the way he smirked around the cello tape that he was biting into, too lazy to reach across for the scissors at the end of his legs. Forever easily amused. “Already one too many in our house as it is.”

“Maybe I’ve asked Father Christmas for a new ‘un,” he patted at the present, looking up at you from under his brow.

“A new baby-“

“Yeah, that as well,” he rolled his lips into his mouth, clearly meaning a house. He frowned, “And wha’ do ya mean with this ‘one too many’? ‘S only two of them.” 

“Three.”

He shook his head, his face reminiscent of a child confused. Point proven. 

“Our two kids,” you paused, for dramatic effect. “And you. So, one too many.”

He was taken aback by your playful nature, a little bit lost for words at how brazenly you had dissed him. 

“Thought you liked ‘em young,” he retorted, hand curling around your calf and tugging you over to him. From the quickness of his movement, you squealed. The two of you shushing each other around soft laughter as your eyes faintly fell towards the television monitor that showed you your sleeping children from where you sat in his lap. 

“Dead to the world, both of ‘em,” he mumbled, breathing along your cheek as he noted the way your soft gaze lingered on your babies.

“Can’t wait to see their faces tomorrow,” you admitted, as his lips skimmed gently down your neck. 

“Need to finish off the magic,” he hummed. “Pass me the plate.”

Leaning over from in his lap, you gave Harry the ample opportunity to softly tap his hand against your pyjama-clad bottom. The sound your ears and his received was a dull thud that didn’t achieve what it intended.

Turning to look at him, his sheepish gaze made you aware that he too wasn’t satisfied from his actions. His eyes dropped down to the plate that you held tightly in your hands at the goodies he had laid out on the idea a mere four hours prior.

“You take the carrot,” he pushed it towards you, eyes meeting yours as they looked up.

“And here I was thinking you were the health conscious one-“

“I need stodge to soak up this,” he scooped up the pouring of whiskey. “‘M mixing drinks, so I’m gonna be a barrel of laughs when they jump on me at 5am as my wake up call.”

You softly laughed before you took a hefty bite out of the carrot and he out of the mince pie. With a gooey smile, you couldn’t stop your hands moving up to his lips and wiping away the crumbs from the pastry that sat on the corners of his mouth.

“Have the last bit,” he spoke once he has swallowed his food, offering the small amount of whiskey left in the tumbler glass to you. 

You sipped the drink that he gave to you and placed the empty glass down with a soft clunk to the plate. 

“Can make some magic of our own now,” he whispered in a light alcohol induced haze, satisfied. 

And under the soft lighting of the living room, who were you to refuse him.

His chuckle of disbelief at this words hit your lips with a warm breath, causing you to blush along with him. If he wasn’t kissing you in that moment, you knew that he would have said the words, “Can’t believe I’ve just said tha’.”

But you would believe it, because things like that were him to a T. 

He was that kind of person sometimes, hidden underneath the incredibly handsome features and put together looks: a geek. A loveable geek. 

A loveable geek who knew how to work his way around your body; your head falling back with the thought as he sucked at the middle of your neck. 

“No lovebites, baby,” you gasped, fingers woven into the hair at the back of his head. “We’re at your Mum’s,” you reminded him, feeling his tongue lave against the area he’d been particularly rough with. Like a cat licking at his wounds, tucking his tail between his legs at how he’d admitted defeat. 

His hands moved up the back of your shirt, raising the pyjama material as he went. Your arms lifted, helping him remove the item of clothing and enjoying the tickling feeling of your hair falling down the bare skin of your back.

Harry’s face went straight into the center of your boobs without much focus on where he’d thrown your discarded top in the living room. Mouth sucked with power on the inside of your chest, he was determined to leave a mark against your skin one way or another. 

His hands clawed at the elastic of your trousers, palming underneath them to feel your bare bum cheeks against his hands,helping to create a rocking motion of your crotch against his.

You mewled, in a breathy tone, “Take ‘em off.”

“‘S nice like this,” he coaxed, looking at your face with hooded eyes and enjoying your mirrored expression.

And he wasn’t lying. Been a while since you’d sat in his lap and found your release against him with your clothes still on. 

“It’s not enough,” you admitted, feeling your hips become slightly more frantic as you pressed back into his awaiting hands with a soft clap. 

“It’s enough for now,” he urged you to rock. “Relax on me, darling. We’ve got time.”

Languid kisses was nice. The friction of your clothes too, worked you up in a way that was way more than you would ever care to admit. Breathing growing heavier as Harry kept his lips to your chest and you fisted at his hair.

Tingles ran through you as you felt Harry growing harder through his trousers, rubbing against your center over and over. He twitched as his hand pulled you with more force against him, his hand slipping down lower to rest in-between your bum cheeks.

The way his fingers ghosted close to your center was enough to have you reaching around and pushing his hand down further. The suction sound his mouth made as it peeled away from your clammy skin, made you moan with a fallen head tilt. 

“Want my fingers that bad,” he whispered, feeling the pressure of your hand on top of his. “Tell me.”

“Please, put ‘em in,” you breathily asked. Your mouth fell agape as you felt the tips of his fingers rest against your wetness. You knew if you rocked back and he held you steady enough, they’d sink right in without any resistance.

“Gonna rub your clit for me while you take my fingers, eh?”

Your breathing was laboured as his fingers brushed at your aching, wet center. You were desperate from some kind of pressure, your center pulsing each time you felt the tips of his fingers get closer. 

“At this rate your gonna be all down your legs and mine,” he paused, enjoying the choked moan you released when he finally slipped his fingers inside your wet warmth. “Not even got started.” 

You hand was against your front and harshly rubbing at your sopping clit that had you softly swiping up and releasing enticing moans, causing Harry to throb. 

He softly shushed you as he pushed your fallen hair, slightly damp from sweat, out of your eyes. 

“No ones ever made me this wet,” you admitted in a whiny plea to him, scooping your arm around his neck to sit tighter onto his lap. 

His eyes dropped down to the way your hand moved over your center underneath your pyjamas trousers. “Hiding from me, darling,” he was obvious.

“I said take them off,” you hummed. “Thought you were a man, my man.”

Harry growled at your goad, fingers slipping without much care and wiping into the waistband of your trousers. He roughly pulled at your bottoms, his limbs and yours unattractively flaying but achieving the ultimate goal of getting naked. 

Bare bum now open to thick heat of the room, you enjoyed the way he tapped his fingers lightly against your left cheek, close to where your bum and thigh met.

“Harry,” you breathed, hips nudging forwards, enough to get his cock to press between your lips, just right. You rolled your hips over him slowly, your wetness enticing and teasing to his cock. Bliss was written across his face as he enjoyed your attentiveness to foreplay. 

“Gonna let me have you,” he stated, no question within his words. He felt the way you nodded against him, as you pressed your forehead to his. 

You gripped his shoulder as you rolled back again, feeling the way his tip slipped into your without much guidance other than the slight lift to your arse from Harry himself.

As you sank down on him, you felt the way his hand pressed to your lower back. Shaky exhales bounced against each other’s lips as you took him in, staying still and relishing in the way his cock felt inside of you.

Throbbing clit flush to his pelvis, you knew even the tiniest of motion would have you losing your mind. 

Wanting to keep him deep, you barely raised your hips more than halfway off him before you were taking him once more. He brushed against the soft spot inside you so wonderfully, that you were admitting your love for him in such a way that had him chuckling. 

“‘S my cock, not me, darling,” he teased. “I know, I know, baby.”

The pace you set was slow, languidly rolling your hips over his. He encouraged you, digging his fingers into your plush hips and throatily moaning as he watched you with lips parted and eyelids hooded. 

The wet kiss you shared with him, had you gripping at his jaw, feeling the way it expanded as he devoured you with his lips and tongue. It was dirty, a quick flick that had your chasing after him, suckling gently and wanting to be just as dirty in return.

You could hear how wet you were, your body wanting the man beneath you to know just much of mess you had made for him. How turned on he had managed to get you. 

He loved it. The sounds. The way he purposefully dragged at your wetness with his fingers over you clit. His roughs pants and throaty moans indicative of just how deeply pleasured he was.

“Hear tha’,” he rhetorically asked. “You’re all over my balls, doll. My thighs are covered.” 

“Oh god,” you gasped as your head fell back and exposed your throat to him, hips rocking and rubbing harshly against his. His hand moved from being cupped underneath your bouncing boobs and took to pressing gently against your throat. 

Somewhere in your mind you thought back to the latex, novelty washing up gloves earlier in the day and how they may feel against your skin, against your throat. It was something you knew you’d have to mention as you hips began to move with more force against him at the idea.

You knew he’d asked, he’d just time the question in the right moment. Probably say your name first to have you looking down at him glassy, fucked our vision.

As he groaned your name, your dropped you head down feeling the way your throat curved against his hand. “Wha’ you thinking ‘bout?”

His face was flushed out, hair sticking to his forehead and you were partly angry at how he’d somehow managed to keep his top on. 

“Need to try the gloves next time,” you confessed. “Want to, want to-“

He watched the way you face crumpled, slightly flushing at how you’d possibly found yourself a kink that was once before totally undiscovered to you. 

He pulled you down to him, “Would try anything wi’you in a heartbeat. So in love wi’you. Love you more when you let me feel you comin’ all over me.”

The two of your were flat against each other as you felt the way he lifted his hips upwards, the angle had him constantly stroking directly on your g spot. Your limbs felt like mush as your body began to shake of its own accord.

“Yea’ darlin’, just like that for me,” he coaxed, “All over me, giving it all to me.”

Your sweaty chest rubbed against the irritating fabric of his top, as you focused on the feel of your clit rolling against him and the feel of his cock tipping you over the edge with a satisfied moan that had you holding him deep inside.  

You fell limp against him, feeling the way his arms wrapped heavy against your clammy back. The only movement came from his hips as they lifted upwards and smacked against you.

His deep groan of your name as his orgasm overtook him, caused you to turn your face into his and leave a wet and heavy kiss to his dropped jaw. His grunts were heavy as they tapered out into soft and wet whimpers. 

Your skin was scorching against his, as you’d came down together next to the roaring fire beside you. The two of you basking the blissful aftermath. 

As you collapsed against him, Harry’s eyes looked up at the tree that he was now somehow partly under. Heaving chest and bleary eyes, he focused on the decorations above his head, as his hand ran soothingly down your clammy back.

With a scoffed chuckle, he caught your attention, enjoying the way you nosed along his neck, to being your lips up to the corner of his.

“What is it?” You asked gently against his lips. His smiled deepened. “What’s tickled you so much?”

Still wearing a blissful expression, he said deeply, “We’re under mistletoe.”

Frowning, you knocked you eyes upwards, spotting the mistletoe that sat tied to two or three baubles on the Christmas tree. 

“Gotta lay on one me, doll,” he cheekily caught your attention. “‘S the rules.”

And if it were the rules, who were you to break them.

[vldkeith]

Two things:

1. A few nights ago I had a dream where Shiro broke into my house and stole one of my cats while screaming the entire time. I have not been able to stop thinking about this.

2. The other night (cursed voltron thoughts seem to occur late at night), I was sitting in my room where the most cursed thought entered my mind, that in a few years Netflix is going to get the rights to voltron and announce a shitty riverdale esc (I have never watched riverdale) live action, where it takes place in an american high school and Zarkon is the head teacher. The palidans are students who are also in a biker gang, coincidentally called voltron. There is also a love triangle between Lance, Keith and Allura, and lance and keith fight each other to the death until the only one left alive gets to date her. I am scared that I have accidentally manifested the worst thing in existence.

you had me in the first half im not gonna lie- 

please dont put CURSED dark gritty vld thoughts in my mind i will personally kill whatever producer green lights an atrocity like that

[skogsskratti]

Thanks for tagging me @on-a-ravens-wing

Name/nickname: Simon irl, Waldschrat online

Gender: male mostly

Star sign: Pisces

Height: 168 cm

Time: 03:27 am

Birthday: Late February

Favourite bands/groups: loads in a wide range and always changing. Currently listening to a lot of Katzenjammer, She-Male Trouble, Garmarna, Vroudenspiel, White Stripes and Die Elenden

Favourite solo artists: idk. Einar Selvik? or maybe Fiona Apple

Song stuck in my head: Zitti e buoni by Måneskin (it's just been esc yesterday, it'll be stuck a few days probably)

Last movie: rewatched Ronja Rövardotter (1984) last week

Last show: I just started watching Locke and Key

When did I create this blog: this one apparently 2013, but I had another account before for which I forgot the login, that must've been around 2009

What do I post: Whatever I fancy that doesn't fit in my themed sideblogs. Fandom stuff and cute animal videos mostly.

Last thing I googled: "barrios la catedral sheet music"

Other blogs: Yes, @theyoungwaldschrat where I post and reblog nature photos and sometimes heathen, folklore and craftsy stuff; @official-schwaebisch where I mostly just reblog German stuff; @askarthurweasley was supposed to become HPRP but is now just HP fandom stuff; and also @lepidopterascientifica which is a different account, where I used to post my butterfly and moth photography (It's been dead a while, but I'm working on a revival)

Do I get asks: Usually not

Why did I choose this url: Simply used to be my nickname (from Simon, and referencing a animated webseries called sinn-los) in like 2006. People stopped calling me that, but I kept using it as a username online until the word simp became a thing. I should probably change it here too, now.

Following: 1400

Followers: 240 here, about 1500 on theyoungwaldschrat

Average hours of sleep: anything from 5 to 13 (I'm a NEET, my sleep schedule's fucked)

Lucky number: 27

Instruments: guitar (not bad) and mandolin (beginner)

What I am wearing: A nirvana shirt and green viking style linen pants

Dream job: making a living from fun crafts... probably not gonna happen

Dream trip: Sweden

Favourite food: Most things that contain a lot of cheese

Nationality: German

Favourite song: Not a clue. I'll just post this playlist I recently made to show some of the music I like: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2PQBoKE5GAG3CI9lZXj2tS?si=c942525a75224a64

Three fictional universes you’d like to live in: the Wizarding World, Middle-earth and maybe Narnia if it was less weirdly religious.

I tag @screechingcrow @darkcottagecorewitch @wingscale and @lavender-hued-melancholy if they feel like it.

[borisbubbles]

35. ALBANIA

Arilena Ara - “Fall from the sky”

Hmm, well this is awkward

There you have it, my first impression of the song formerly known as “Shaj”. Four words I’ve written down after hearing the song, while the others got at least a full paragraph. Then it won FiK, completely passing me by as it did. 

Since then, my opinion has been has been bouncing up and down between mild like and even milder dislike ever since, before finally settling "meh this is boring either way”. Imagine caring about “Fall from the sky”. I don’t. Neither should you. 

Song Analysis

Christ how do I even do this? Does brutal honesty works? Okay, then: “Fall from the sky” is a completely unremarkable song, devoid of traits. It is generic balladeering 101. It’s bechamel sauce. It’s vanilla ice cream. It is as colourful as primer paint and as fun as watching said paint dry. If the tune didn’t put you to sleep, then the lyrics would (“I’m gonna spread my wings, for I am destined to fly” - who even writes cliché tripe like this? 

Fittingly enough, the revamp did cause Arilena to “fall from the sky” at ESCUnited, by which i mean her score in the polls PLUMMETED faster than the speed of gravity <3 How was she even that high in the first place? Like, this:

isn’t that good? Arilena is a good perfomer, yes, but like... she cannot carry this blandfest by ehrself. Yet, people were unironically comparing “Shaj” to "Suus”? SUUS? S U U S????? I *hate* “Suus” but good lord no. “Suus” was shrill, diabolical and a walking nightmare, but one thing it definitely NEVER was, was boring. 

If anything, “Shaj” is a “Kruna”. A shouty midtempo bore, crippled by its datedness, somehow finding a place of reverence because the person singing it is a glame blonde in a punk gothic dress (or whatever umbrella term you’d put Arilena’s dress under - I am partial to “tarantula couture” myself), which attracts the snobs-but-not-rly-snobs-cuz-they-are-basic-shh-don’t-tell’em basics like moths to a flame, like birds to a pane of glass (okay, Laurell). God why am I still writing about “Shaj” it is DULL END OFF. 

NF Corner

Yes well, you really cannot discuss the cold Yin of “Shaj” without mentioning the warm Yang of “Me tana”. I mean what *exactly* was wrong with this song again?

Elvana Gjata - “Me tana”

Okay, before we continue, a PSA: “Me tana” is NOT a Fuego clone. Folk Dance was a thing before Fuego. Reggaeton was a thing before Fuego. Songs in the same genre as “Fuego” aren’t “Fuego Clones”. STOP SPREADING FAKE NEWS.

Anyway having said that, “Me tana” (whose closest living relatives are “Origo” and “Qele qele”), was a pretty good folk/dance/pop blend, even if its staging dabbled a bit too much into the Fuego pool (staging. not song. STAGING), but I am confident it would’ve found its own place and niche had the 2020 contest come to fruition. 

My personal pet theory: a lot of the Arilena fandom stems from her beating Elvana and not due to “Shaj” itself. I can defintitely tell because the juror that made “Me Tana” lose, Mikaela Mingle, ALSO gained a cult following after Elvana lost and well... Keep getting pressed, losers.

So am I an Elvana fan myself? Well, not really? However ,i do like “Me tana” a lot though, and  I think it was leagues ahead of “Shaj” in the pretty much every category, mostly because *Shajte* itself isn’t (and never was) a good song to begin with. 

No, my fave was *this* metalpiece  🤩

Valon Shehu - “Kutia ë Pandorës”

Lol imagine making your way through a string of dated ballads and dated rock songs and like, typical balkanic folk pop Except It’s In Albanian, and suddenly you’re smacked full in the face by an unapolegetic SYMPHONIC METAL SONG <333333 Written by SER EUGENT OF HOUSE BUSHPEPPER NO LESS!!! Kicking and punching their air in front of the camera non-stop <33333 Valon gives me LIFE and I really wish we got a dedicated metal song in this Former Contest, but alas. (Yeah, “Take Me As I Am”, but that one transcends labels)

Albania 2020 vs Albania 2021

“Shaj” was always a borderline qualifier at best, and the revamp did it no favours. “Fall from the sky” wpuld have been dead on arrival. 

However, I was pleased when Albania announced the revamp initially? See it as win/win: either Shaj would be transformed into a GREAT pop song, making the loss of, well everything that wasn’t “Shaj” in FiK, justifiable. Or, Albania would fumble it by stripping down the song even more and getting rid of all of its unique qurks, which was a MASSIVE slap in the face of any idiot who had ever claimed that “Me tana” would’ve flopped in Rotterdam (a breed of idiot that absolutely deserve to be clowned at every juncture, preferably by their own hand).

Anyway, even though “Fall from the sky” is dead and FiK will probably still be held in december anyway, I would want RTSQ to just pick Arilena again? “Shaj” was *SHAJTE* but Arilena herself was... okay? Good, even? She gave me a GLIMMER of talent during the live, which is in itself a small miracle given how thoroughly Not Good her song was. And I mean, just the ~mere principle~ of 2020 artists getting conned out of their rightful place in ESC by the EBU forces me to root for Arilena’s return in 2021*. Make it happen, RTSQ. 

* Except for De & Mon. Fuck De & Mon. 😇

FREAKY!FRIDAY!FACTOR!

Everything surrounding “Shaj” was the usual Albanian stuff (boring geriatric ballad wins, gets revamped into an even MORE boring geriatric ballad), but i’m willing to give Albania a senhead for producing an unapolegetically fun NF with some legit good modern entries (ALBANIA! Trying modern! THE CONCEPT!) and another for setting the stage for the rest of the NF season of SHOCK winners. Albania set the seasonal trend of “Audience Darling Mysteriously Bombs At The 11th Hour” and without it, the rest of the season would’ve felt a lot less freaky!. 

Score: 2 Senhits out of 5. 

[prettybillycore]

Spirits in My Head and They Won't Go: Chapter One || DBH Connor

The person who made the gif is listed below it, please check out their account!

Story Summary: Keeva Anderson is Carl Manfred's apprentice and her life falls apart around her as Markus is killed by police in front of her and her long term boyfriend Gavin Reed dumps her after finding out about her android-esc prosthetic limb. Can Connor deviate in time to help her face the demons that haunt her?

Word Count: 3,017

Warnings: Gavin being an ass, unhealthy relationship, breakup, Connor is confused, mentions of Hank’s car crash, language

Chapter 1 of 10

Read on AO3 or continue on this tumblr post!

Series Masterlist

Chapter One: Are We Really All that Different?

Keeva awoke to the sound of her alarm going off and the opposite side of the bed empty. Typical. She sighed as she banged her alarm’s off button and pulled herself out of bed for the day. She passed by the mirror above the dresser as she made her way out of the room. She grimaced at the glance of her under-eye bags and messy hair that she got. She never really stopped and looked in the mirror anymore. 

“Morning. Are you gonna brush your hair or are you going to the old man’s like that?” Her boyfriend sat relaxed, fully dressed for the day, in one of the chairs at their small dining room table. 

She rolled her eyes as she made her way past him into the kitchen. “Don’t start with me, Gavin. Not this early.”

He scoffed, “what a joy you are in the morning.” He took another large swig of his coffee as he watched her start to pour a cup of her own. Their medium-sized apartment had a mostly open floor plan, leaving only the kitchen island between her and where he was sitting. The two carried on with their morning in peaceful silence for another minute, but as Keeva made her way over to the table the familiar sound of their neighbor’s juicer started up. “Fucking android makes so much noise every morning. I wish she’d throw it away.” Gavin glared at the wall they shared with their neighbor’s kitchen like it was going to make the noise stop.

Keeva gave him a dull look. “Don’t say shit like that Gav. She would be making a smoothie every morning if her android wasn’t. It’s not his fault. You can’t blame every noise you hear from over there on him just because you don’t like androids.”

Gavin gave her a look of disgust. “Him? Keeva it’s a fucking machine.” Keeva simply continued to drink her coffee. She was sick of the same fights over and over again. She decided the best thing was to just not to engage. “What? You not going to say anything because you know I’m right?”

She held her coffee cup in both her hands. She leaned both her elbows on the table and avoided eye contact with the man sitting diagonally to her right. “No. I’m not responding because you’re a prick before you’ve had at least three cups of coffee.”

Gavin grunted in annoyance before getting up from the table. “I’m gonna head to work. Try not to make heart eyes at the neighbor’s android whenever you leave for ‘work’.” He put am emphasis on work because he didn’t believe she actually worked, which she did.  He smirked as he washed his cup out. 

She glared daggers at the back of his head. “Try not to stare at Tay’s ass if she’s working this morning.” It was her turn to smirk as she continued to drink her coffee. It was almost gone now. 

Gavin looked like he wanted to snap back with something else, but he probably couldn’t think of anything. He knew she was right. All she did was be nice to humans and androids alike, while he truly did check out other people, specifically the landlord’s daughter who ran things at the building. 

Before Keeva really even noticed, Gavin was slamming the door of their apartment shut behind him. “Good riddance fucker.”

She got up from the table and washed up her cup. She let out a long sigh. Part of her wondered how she got to this point in her life. The other part of her knows. She set the cup in the sink and made her way to the bedroom to get dressed. She settled on wearing an old pair of pain covered mom jeans, her dad’s old Knights of the Black Death band tee that she cropped, and her older pair of Doc Martins. She went to the bathroom after her clothes were on and fought with her slightly wavy hair until it was braided and the small pieces were pushed out of her face with a red bandana. She stopped for a moment and looked at herself. Her brown and blue eyes looked brighter than they did when she got a glimpse of them in the mirror earlier. A small smile formed on her face. Something about having her hair up and this outfit made her feel better about herself than she did on most days. She decided to skip makeup, she rarely wore it work anyway. After her normal hygiene routine, she grabbed her leather jacket off the coat rack, picked her round sunglasses up from the dish by the front door, and grasped her satchel from its place on the floor. 

The trip from her apartment to her car wasn’t long and she was happy to be in it. It was so much warmer inside than it was out and she never really dressed for super cold weather. She spent all her time in a warm art studio, there was no reason for her to wear heavy clothes aside from her short walks to and from the car, so she more often than not opted for nothing heavier than her leather jacket. She set her satchel down in the passenger seat and groaned when she noticed what else was there. “Damnit, dad.”

She and her dad had gotten burgers together last night after they had both finished with work. She gave him a ride and he left his badge in her car. What a day, she was going to have to see Gavin again already. “Car Call Markus.”

“Calling Markus,” The car chimed back as she set the destination as the police station instead of Carl’s house. 

“Hello, Keeva everything alright?” Markus answered almost right away. 

“I’m going to be a little late to work today. My dad left something in my car and I have to get it back to him. He needs it for work.”

“It’s nothing to worry about. All work on some things here this morning and when you get here we’ll go to Bellini Paints. You have an order as well as Carl, don’t you?”

She sighed. She had completely forgotten about that. “Yeah, I do. I don’t know what I would do without you around Markus. I would lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders.”

He chuckled. The sound brought a warm feeling to her chest. “We should still have plenty of time to make it back before it is time to wake Carl for the day. I’ll see you soon Keeva.”

“See ya shortly Markus.” The call cut after that and she was left alone with her thoughts again. She thought about calling her dad to let him know she was coming, but he probably wouldn’t be there yet. She would just walk in, place it on his desk, leave a little note, and walk back out. Hopefully without having to see Gavin. I can do this. It’s just dropping off his badge.

 The car pulled up to the DPD parking lot as she finished giving herself a pep talk. It navigated itself into a visitor’s spot and she pushed her sunglasses up to rest on top of her head. She took a last deep breath before getting out of the car and making her way into the police station. The androids there all knew who she was and granted her access without her saying anything to them. She gave them a soft smile as she passed, but her smile faded into a look of curiosity when she saw her dad telling off an android. She had never seen one like him before. He had an adorable air to him as he stared blankly at her father’s angry face. She giggled a bit at the sight and felt herself relax when Gavin seemed to be nowhere in sight. “I see you’re up to your old anti-android antics again old man,” she said as she approached.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. She held out his badge in her hand. He took it from her quickly. “I was looking for that.” “I figured.” She turned her attention to the android to her left. “Are you going to introduce me to your new partner or am I supposed to guess his name?”

“It can introduce itself. I’m going to get coffee.” 

She turned her attention to the android completely and moved to stand directly in front of him. “So what’s your name?”

“My name is Connor. I am the android sent by Cyberlife. I will be working with Detective Anderson on all Deviant related cases from now on.”

She laughed a little bit at his phrasing. “You’re a funny one aren’t you? My name’s Keeva Anderson. Don’t let my old man’s sour attitude get to you, he’s just grumpy and old fashion.”

“It’s nice to meet Keeva.”

She gave him a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you too Connor.” She placed her hand out in front of her. Connor recognized this as a friendly gesture, but he hadn’t expected anyone to offer it to him. He took her hand and he was shocked by what he saw. Both of their skins peel back, showing pristine, white synthetic arms. He gave her a confused look as his LED spun yellow. 

“It’s neat huh? I was in an accident a few years ago and they adapted Cyberlife technology to give me a fully functioning prosthetic arm. It gives me the abilty to function as if the accident never happened and I am fully adjusted to it so I hardly feel a difference, but having it opened my eyes. I am human, but my right arm looks identical to yours. If this is true are we really all that different? I mean, we can’t connect as androids can, but this has to mean something. What do you think Connor?” 

His LED still was spinning yellow. His processors had no answers to why he felt like he was overheating or the overwhelming confusion that came to the forefront of his mind. “I-”

“Don’t tell me you broke the special prototype android in the time it took me to make a cup of coffee,” Hank spat as he came back over to the pair. 

Keeva quickly pulled her hand away and both their skins showed back up like the interact never happened. She gave Connor a quick wink before turning her attention to her dad. “Of course not. He’s fine. Aren’t you Connor?”

“Yes. I am fine.”

“See? He’s peachy.”

Hank rolled his eyes. “Since there are no cases yet, why don’t you go explore the station, Connor? I’m not gonna show you around.”

Connor nodded before heading off. “Your life is about to get a lot more interesting Dad.”

“Tell me about it. Why did I get stuck with the fuckin’ android?”

“Oh come on, be nice to him. It’s not a bad thing to have another set of eyes looking over things.”

Hank shrugged and sipped his coffee. The awkward tension set in. They tried to keep civil energy, but after the accident, they had never been quite as close as they were when she was growing up. She was about to try to make polite conversation, but then she heard a familiar voice coming from the break room. “Hey, bring me a coffee dipshit.” She hoped Gavin wasn’t talking to who she thought he was. “GET A MOVE ON!”

A pit formed in her stomach. “I told him he was a prick before he had three cups of coffee.” She mumbled to herself. 

Connor replied frankly, “I'm sorry, but I only take orders from Lieutenant Anderson.”

She could tell Gavin was getting pissed. “Oh...Oh…” Gavin pushed Connor in the stomach and he clutched his stomach before falling to his knee. She started briskly walking toward the breakroom. Her dad heard what she said and kept a close eye on the situation as she made her way to approach Gavin. “When a human gives you an order, you obey. Got it? Stay outta my way... Next time, you won't get off so easy.”

“Gavin Reed!” Keeva scolded as she stepped between him and Connor. “That was beyond uncalled for.”

“What the hell are you doing here Keeva? Aren’t you supposed to be at your art thing or did you quit that and become a full-time pro-android advocate?” He snarled.

“My dad left his badge in my car after dinner last night so I came to drop it off. I was planning to leave for my job as soon as I gave it to him, but then you punched someone in the gut and I had to intervene.” She could feel a fire burning in the pit of her stomach. What was normally fear and discomfort around Gavin was coming up as anger and protectiveness.

“I didn’t punch someone, I punched a machine. Besides its none of your fucking business what I do at work anyway, so why don’t you run along to your stupid little art class and let me have a fucking moment’s peace.” 

Her teeth were clenched. “It’s not a ‘stupid little art class’ is a full-time apprenticeship Gavin Christ you really have no respect for anyone!” At that moment she decided to do something that could end her relationship, but she didn’t care. “You know what an android’s arm looks like when their skin disappears?”

“What? Yeah, of course, I know what that looks like. Why the hell does it matter?”

“Because Gavin, putting your disrespect for me and my job aside. You pretty much disrespect and berate every android you come into any sort of contact with.” She held up her right arm. She couldn’t see it, but Connor’s LED went from spinning yellow to bright red. The skin peeled off her hand, showing the pure white structure underneath. “What the hell gives you the right be so mean to them when for two years of dating me and even longer of knowing me you couldn’t tell the difference between my human arm and my prosthetic one.” Gavin stood in silent shock for a moment.

She looked him dead in the eyes as she spoke. “Connor and I really aren’t so different now, are we?”

Keeva felt like she had the upper hand in the argument until hand wrapped tightly around her prosthetic forearm. While she couldn’t feel pain there, she could feel the structure bending and moving in ways it wasn’t supposed to. “You fake bitch! You’re just as bad as the plastic prick behind you! All this time you’ve had a fake fucking arm and you didn’t tell me?!”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew this is how you would react,” her voice came out strained and Connor couldn’t just stand by any longer. He jumped forward, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and using the other to prior Gavin’s fingers off of her. As soon as she was free Connor pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms fully around her shoulders as Gavin shouted, “what the fuck?!” Keeva’s heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. She could feel Connor’s grip tighten around her in a protective manner. Was this part of his programming?

Hank arrived at the scene. “Don’t you fucking ever touch my daughter again you absolute bastard!” He yelled at Gavin. Gavin merely grimaced and glared at Connor in response. It didn’t matter that Hank was between them, Connor was the real enemy as far as he was concerned. 

His eyes shifted to Keeva. The look sent chills down her spine. “I want you completely out of my fucking apartment by the time I get off today!” He and the other officer he had been talking to before Connor came in left the room and Keeva let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. 

Connor let her go and she turned around to face him. “Are you alright Keeva? I don’t detect any physical damage to your arm, but your heart rate abnormally high and your breathing is out of rhythm.”

She blushed a little at Connor’s worry. “Yes, I’m alright. Thank you so much, Connor. I honestly don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t intervened.”

Connor’s components were whirling at the soft smile painted on her lips. “I am happy that I could help. I do not like the idea of seeing you hurt.”

^ Software Instability ^

“Are you going to be alright to move everything out?” Hank asked, pulling her attention away from Connor. 

“Oh yeah, I’ll be alright. I’ll see if Markus can help me. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. Besides, it’s not ideal to move out so suddenly, but honestly, I probably would have left him one of these days anyway. We aren’t good together anymore.”

Her dad offered her a smile. “I’m glad you finally see it kid. You two weren’t really ‘working’ after the first six months. You’ll find someone else. You know, who’s closer to younger age and not a dick.”

She laughed at the way he put it, but he was right. While this would be hard and weird for a little while, it would be better for everyone in the long run and she would eventually find a healthy relationship. Maybe Gavin would too. They’d both heal, grow, and learn from their mistakes and find new paths. Yeah, that really sounds nice. “You’re on the right track dad. I think I should be going, I’m already late as it is.”

“Okay. Let me know if you need help moving. I know Gavin’s working long hours this morning and tonight,” Hank offered. 

“I’ll let you know.” She turned her attention to Connor. “Thanks again, Connor. I really appreciate what you did for me.”

“It was no trouble at all. I hope to see you again sometime.” Connor’s expression looked kind as he spoke.

“I hope to see you again as well. It was nice to meet you.”

^ Software Instability ^

_______

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Birds and Other Supernatural Phenomenons

Okay, so this got way longer than expected, and I've re-written it like a thousand times, so I have to post it before I go completely crazy. Enjoy!

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Ch. 6: Cats and Dogs

Marinette almost died that night. It was so incredibly stupid, that if she hadn't felt so shitty in the morning, she might've had laughed at it.

She blamed Jeremy. They were sitting on the roof until five AM when he had to leave - probably to get ready for school, but Marinette didn't ask. 

He wasn't supposed to stay for so long in the first place, but she started teaching him French, and he was so hilariously incompetent, they forgot to check the time. He was pretty freaked out when he realized it was almost morning.

Okay. That sucks but no biggie, right? 

Honestly, everything would've been perfectly fine if Jeremy'd let her drink her coffee. She went down to get one around two AM when she was already on the verge of passing out - forty-two hours of not sleeping will do that to you, but as soon as she put it down on the roof, Jeremy accidentally knocked it over. She watched as the sacred liquid painted the cold concrete black, and didn't go back for a new cup.

After he left, she fell asleep. On the roof. In the cold.

Ladybugs and cold didn't go well together. By the time Tikki decided to come out of the hotel room and check on her, the Sun was already up, and Marinette's body was freezing. She was still asleep, of course, because being half-dead usually isn't enough to wake her up.

When the kwami shooked her awake, everything hurt. She couldn't feel her legs and hands, her eyes seemed to roll out of their sockets any minute, and she was so freaking cold. It took her an hour to feel her fingers again, and Tikki used the time to lecture her about her sleeping habits. She had a point, not as if she would ever tell her that.

So yes, it was definitely Jeremy's fault. 

***

After breakfast and on Marinette's side, a few hectoliters of green tea, Mrs. Bustier and Miss Alarie, a relatively new teacher who was accompanying them on their trip, decided to take them on a walk. In Gotham. Even Marinette's sleep-deprived and frozen-over brain could see the fault in that plan. Multiple faults, to be exact.

But given that there was no responsible adult on sight - or a slightly intelligent goose who could point that out, - they went on a walk.

Mrs. Bustier went out front, Miss Alarie was at the end of the line, and Marinette was walking a few steps behind her because she liked to think she wasn't a complete idiot and had no desire to see all her classmates die from a threat she didn't see coming.

At least they were pretty entertaining to watch.

Adrien was reading a book he got the day before without looking up, not falling over once, which would've been impressive if he wasn't Chat Noir for three years in the past. Nino was listening to music with his headphones on - not realizing he forgot to plug it into his phone, so everyone could hear the electronic tones blaming from his speaker. Rose pushed her face to every single shop window they walked past, and Alix was trying very hard to not fall on her face in roller skates. Meanwhile, Mylene somehow got gum in her hair, which she and Ivan have been struggling to get out for the past half hour. 

Chloe was fighting with Lila over some celebrity's personal life, while next to them, Juleka and Sabrina were watching a movie on a small smartphone, with Max lecturing them about megabytes, satellites and something else, that also ended in '-ites'. Perhaps egg whites. Or gravesites. If she looked very hard, she could even notice the way Nathaniel moved to the rhythm of Nino's music while playing a game on Max's phone.

Kim seemed to be the only one actually looking at the buildings and people around them, and Alya was... well, Alya was live-tweeting everything. She tended to be a little over-enthusiastic sometimes.

The streets kept getting more and more familiar as they got near to the Wayne Tower. Marinette was just about to disappear and get to know the city's coffee machines when turning in the corner, someone ran into her. Literally.

She grabbed the poor man by his waist just in time to save him from falling on his face, but let go as soon as he got his balance back. She didn't like touching with people, especially not strangers.

"Huh, I'm sorry," he said, panting heavily. "I wasn't paying attention."

"It's fine," muttered Marinette, giving him a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

"Sure, just..." The man stopped, leaned on his knees, and tried to even out his breathing, "Just give me a minute."

Marinette glanced at her class walking away, not noticing her departure and found herself grateful for having a reason to sneak off for a bit.

She used the time to take a better look at the man. He was around thirty, tall and muscular, so he must've run a lot to be so out of breath. He was wearing an expensive suit. A very expensive designer suit, that matched his hair's rich black color perfectly. He looked like someone who just walked off a magazine's front page, except that his tie was messy - he probably tried to loosen it while running. However, the truly upsetting thing about him was - and Marinette had to check it multiple times to be sure, - that he had only one shoe.

His left side was fine, but on his right foot, there was nothing but a wet and dirty, Superman-themed sock.

"Okay, so let's start this over," the man said, straightening up and dusting off his suit-jacket. "Hi. I'm Dick. I'm sorry for bumping into you." He held out his hand for a handshake, which Marinette simply ignored, looking at him expectantly.

He let his arm down and dug into his hair awkwardly.

"Okay, so... you didn't happen to see a dog around here, did ya'? Big, brown, might've had a shoe in his mouth..."

"No," Marinette said slowly, masking her accent, but her thoughts were already flashing rapidly. "But how about I help you get your shoe back?" she started, noting the wary look Dick gave her.

He was about to ask her why on Earth would she do that but she lifted a finger, telling him to wait.

In Gotham, everything had a price, and she was familiar with that. She saw how embarrassed he was. She could work with that.

"And in exchange, you tell me how you lost it." She gave him a confident smile to convince him of her interest.

"How do I know you can help me?" he asked seriously, but there was a playful glare in his eyes.

"You don't. You're just going to have to trust me, Superman." 

With that, she started walking to the direction her class just came from. Dick paced after her easily and frowned.

"You know you shouldn't be walking around here alone, right?"

"I'm not alone. You're with me," she grinned.

"Yeah, well you shouldn't be walking around with strangers either."

She gave him a flat look and said, "You're wearing a Superman-themed sock and you lost your shoe. I figured you won't kill me for fun."

"Hey, have you heard of the Joker? He is a freakin' clown!"

"Everyone knows clowns are creepy," Marinette told him and that was enough for her to consider the topic closed.

Dick let out a resigned sigh and for a few moments, they walked in silence.

"Now what?" he asked finally.

"Now," Marinette said, opening the door to a butcher's shop, "we get some bait."

***

"Okay," She could see the gears turning in Dick's head, "but you have to promise you won't laugh."

"That wasn't part of the deal." 

They bought a few nice bones for the dog and were now walking around seemingly aimlessly, searching. They both knew exactly where they were but they weren't about to show that to the other.

Marinette grinned as Dick let out yet another sigh and started the story.

"So. I was sitting on a bench, having breakfast, minding my own business and stuff, ya' know?" Marinette hummed in agreement and almost told Dick to speak more slowly but she decided that would be too cruel. "So I'm sitting there, and then - don't laugh, I see you're about to laugh, - and then I feel something on my shoe. I look at it, and it's a freaking kitty! Like a legit, gray kitty playing with my shoelaces!" Marinette had a hard time keeping a straight face but kept nodding. "So naturally, I take off my shoe, because a kitty wants to play with me, and I have a heart, you know - stop grinning! - And I start to play with the cat because you should've seen her, she was adorable! But then here comes this big, dark blob running towards us, it's a fuckin' dog, you get it? Like what was the chance of that? And it's running with freaking light speed, - and I told you to stop grinning! - And it scares the kitty away, and then, - of course, my shoe is on the ground at this point, - he picks it up and runs off! Like what the hell?" he finally stopped gesticulating wildly and let out a frustrated groan.

"And you ran after it," Marinette continued, trying to hold back her laughter.

"Of course! I didn't think it was gonna disappear! I thought it'll run around a little, then lie down or something."

She continued grinning but Dick pointedly ignored her until they turned around a corner. Suddenly, he grabbed her arm and whispered cautiously.

"That's him!"

"Really? I thought it's a different big, brown dog chewing formal footwear," Marinette said quietly and brushed his hand off. 

She moved slowly but surely. She didn't go towards the dog, she crossed the street and set the bag of bones off, showing it to the animal. It was looking at her with murder in its eyes. She stood up and calmly walked back to Dick's side.

"Now, wait," she told him.

A minute passed before the dog walked to the bones, sniffed them, then started tearing the bag apart. Dick was staring at its fangs as Marinette tugged him by his shirt. She picked up the chewed shoe lying abandoned.

"Here you go," she told him, holding it up with only two fingers.

"Thanks." He grimaced. "How did you know he was going to be here?"

'I noticed this place when I was looking for potential escape routes for my class while walking. The dog didn't go to our direction, so it must've come this way, and this seemed like a good place to start.'

"I'm good with animals," she said instead, winking. "And by the way, how do you know it's a 'he'?"

"I just know. Instincts," he said while jumping on one leg, trying to put on his ruined shoe.

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