#am I complaining? fuck no I’m happy with their characters

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

I keep forgetting that Seth is supposed to be a human Six, you’ve written him so well he’s practically his own thing, same for lt Gabriel /gen

LITERALLY

Like. At this point you could call him a damn oc. He is NOT six at this point /lh

Like I can barely say what the similarities between them are cause. Seth is like. The opposite of who six is. As in he’s actually a good person, a good father figure, and not a gaslighting, manipulative, evil creature that looks like it eats cockroaches off the floor-

I love him I’m so happy with his character. Even though he’s literally the universes pincushion

[catherinnn]

This kinda inspired by one of your enemies to lovers stories where eddie says “you wouldn’t be able to handle me” but reader instead says “oh yeah i couldn’t handle the two-centimeter-pussy-defeater bc id because i would be too busy laughing my ass off at your angry half inch.”

Sorry i have been holding that one in for quite some time 😤

Beg for it

enemies to lovers - one bed trope - eddie munson x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT +18, piv, oral ( f & m), choking, degradation, unprotected sex (don't do this, this is fiction), porn with plot, fluffy at the end.

a/n: thank you for requesting babe, hope you love it!

5.7k words

“Game night at my place, the whole group will be there” Steve announces after greeting you. You went to visit him and Robin since you were already near the place. Also, maybe you could find a movie to watch tonight.

“Ugh, really? They all said yes already?” you ask.

“If you’re expecting me to say that Munson hasn’t, then I have bad news” he confirms.

“Fuck”

“You’re not even trying to be friends at this point” he complains.

“It’s impossible with him being so mean all the time” you tried to defend yourself but Robin was quick to refute your statement.

“You sure are mean to him as well, don’t act so innocent”

“Well, he started it! I didn’t even know him and he started with the jokes and asshole comments” you weren’t lying.

You were new in town, and new at the summer job your dad had found for you. He wanted you to already have some experience at working so you could make a better curriculum later. There was were you met Nancy and instantly became good friends. So much so that she had introduced you to her friend group she has had for years already. Steve, Nance, Jonathan, Robin and Eddie. The former four had been sweethearts to you since you first met them, easily becoming good friends as well. The problem was with the latter. The night Nancy had introduced you to everyone, he started being a little distant and cold towards you. You tried not to feel offended since he could just be shy or introverted, but then he started throwing snide comments and sarcastic mocking your way. You were not going to sit there and take that, so you equally threw cutting remarks at him.

That’s how the current war with him started. And that’s why your friends keep insisting with this forced proximity, so we could all be a happy family.

But it was useless, you and Eddie do agree on that.

The game night arrived that Friday. You were at the Harrington household with several board games awaiting on the table. Battleship, Clue, Guess Who, Monopoly, Scrabble, you name it.

“We wanted to make different groups and play all of these, then see which team is the best” Robin explains. “Steve and me will be team one” she says as she writes that in the whiteboard. They really went all out, since we could all be pretty competitive.

“Group two!” Jonathan exclaims quickly grabbing Nancy’s hand.

“Wait… no, definitely not” You start complaining after realizing that would mean you’re stuck with Eddie.

 “No way! I’m not teaming up with her, she’ll make us lose at everything” he complains as well.

“I will? I think the actual loser here it’s you”

“Oh, am I now-?” The metal-head starts responding when Steve steps in, cutting him off.

“Okay! Stop yelling, we’re not even playing yet! The teams have been chosen, try and be faster next time”

“We’ll start with Guess Who” Robin announces.

As the game progressed, the bickering continued.

"Does your person have brown hair?" Eddie asks Nancy and Jonathan, who nod.

You reach over to flip down the characters with blond or red hair "See, this is why we should’ve picked someone with a hat, it's less obvious"

Eddie rolled his eyes "Oh, please. Like your guess was any better. We’re losing here!” Eddie complains.

"Only if you keep making terrible guesses" you shoot back.

"Does your person have a hat?" you ask the other team.

"No"

"Still think the hat was a good idea?" Eddie raised an eyebrow at you.

"It was strategic" you huff, flipping down the characters with hats.

After playing most of the board games you had, you were tied with the second group, Steve and Robin had already lost.

“Last but not least, to decide the winner of this evening, I present… battleship” Robin announces once more.

"You sure you can keep up with this game? It requires more than just a pretty face" Eddie asks you.

"Don’t worry, I have enough brains to make up for your lack of them" you respond.

“Quit it, start playing” Steve orders.

"Let's just get this over with" you roll your eyes.

They set up the Battleship boards, each team carefully arranging their ships. Eddie and you hunched over the board, whispering fiercely.

"Put the battleship here" he insist, pointing to the top left corner.

"No, it’s too obvious. Let’s hide it in the middle"

"Fine, but when they hit it right away don’t blame me" he groans.

As the game progressed, your bickering intensified.

"B6" Jonathan called out.

You glance at the board and softly nod your head "Hit"

Eddie leans closer, his voice a teasing whisper, "I told you the corner was better"

"Just focus"

When it was your turn, Eddie called out "G4"

Nancy checks their board, "Miss"

You smirk "Looks like your guess wasn’t so great either"

Eddie rolls his eyes "Just wait"

A few rounds later, it was your turn again.

"E5" Eddie calls out.

"Miss" Nancy announces.

"I told you they wouldn’t put it there" you huff.

"Like you’ve done any better"

"How about C3?" you roll your eyes.

"Fine, C3" Eddie sighs.

"Hit" Jonathan says between his teeth.

"See? I told you" you smirk.

"Don’t get cocky, princess"

The tension built as the game neared its end, each team with only one ship left.

"Last shot, let's go with G3" Eddie says

You nod.

"You sunk our battleship" Jonathan confirms after a long sigh.

“YES!”

“COME ONN” both you and Eddie shout in excitement and before even thinking about it you hug tightly.

Robin and Steve watch the scene with wide eyes and smirks on their faces.

And the second your bodies touch each other you realize what you’re actually doing. The hug only lasts few seconds before you both back away awkwardly.

“See? You actually do make a pretty good team” Robin comments.

“Only because I took the last shot” Eddie says.

“Oh please, if it were up to you we’d still be guessing corners” you reply.

"And if it were up to you, we'd be stuck in the middle forever”

Your friends roll their eyes as the bickering continued. And as you act indifferent, you try not think about how you had to stand on the tip of your toes to wrap your arms around his neck, or how soft his hair had felt touching your skin.

His frizzy and chaotic hair. But so curly and soft.

--

Couple of weeks after that night had passed, you hung out with the guys almost every weekend. You favorite nights were the ones Eddie was busy and couldn’t make it. Like tonight.

“Pass the salt, please” Nancy asks Robin. You all went out to have dinner together. Not all actually, Jonathan was too busy as well, him you did miss.

“It’s like we’re having a girl’s night!” you say excitedly and both girls laugh as well.

“No, you’re not about to count me in as a girl” He complains.

“Oh please, you have better hair than me!” Robin comments and he rolls his eyes.

“I’m just teasing, jeez! Someone has their panties in a twist!” you joke.

“Are you on your period or something?” Nancy joins in sarcastically.

“Alright, not even funny” Steve interrupts. “Let's focus. I think we should keep planning the trip, even though we’re not all here tonight”

“Don’t even mention it. I miss Jonathan so much, he’s been so busy lately. I think he really needs a break” Nancy complains and Robin agrees with her.

“I know, it’s really noticeable when Eddie’s not here either”

“Oh yeah, he’s the one I miss. His irritating voice and loud comments. His annoying essence it’s what’s missing here!” you joke but they don’t find it funny.

“We’ve been through this, you’re gonna have to learn to like each other”

“Sure sure, so… the trip?” you change the topic acting foolish.

“Yeah, I liked the hiking option. We always go to the lake every summer, we should change it up” Nancy votes. You’ve never went to any lake with them since this is the first year you’re joining them. But they had told some stories about this hidden lake they usually go to in summer.

“I think so too, plus we should do something different since we have a new integrant” Steve comments smiling at you. Robin and you also agree to go with that option.

The guys make sure of telling the rest everything you have agreed on that night. You’ve settled on where to go hiking and the cabin that would be waiting for you at night.

A few weeks later you're all set to go.

The trip to get there was...

Steve and Jonathan took turns driving. "You must be a really shitty driver if no one here trusts you behind the wheel" you notice and tell Eddie.

"I'm not a bad driver, princess. Maybe we could go for a drive sometime and you could judge for yourself! We'll call it a date" Eddie teases you the way he knows will shut you up, it always worked. As soon as he started flirting with you, it was like you got shy all of the sudden. Replying with some nonsense that would make Eddie laugh harder because he knew he had won.

"I'd rather get eaten by a shark" you respond ignoring the nervousness that ran through your body.

"Alright, we still have a few hours ahead of us, and I'm not gonna make them with you two bickering the whole way there. So calm down" Steve —or actually, mom Steve— told you off.

Once you got to the cabin, you parked the car, settled everything down, ate something and got ready for today's hiking exercise.

Eddie was never a big fan of sports, so he knew that after an hour or so of hiking —no matter how slow they were walking or how much water he was drinking— he would just start to stay a little behind. Not a lot, but definitely the last on the row.

Also, he started to get bored. Eddie was chatting with Jonathan, but he started to take pictures of every little plant or flower he saw, and the higher you got, the more pictures of the view he wanted to take.

So Eddie started to walk in silence, taking notice of other little things, like the fact that you and Steve look pretty close and pretty giggly with each other since you started hiking. But not only that, obviously, it's not like he's jealous or anything. For him to be jealous he would have to like you in the first place, and there was no way Eddie wants you.

You're the obvious person to like; everyone in Hawkins is already smitten with you. Every guy has a crush on you because you're undeniably beautiful. He knew from the first moment he saw you that you'd never go for a guy like him. So, to keep himself from showing any sign that he wanted you, he did the opposite —he started to hate you.

So he is definitely not jealous. He was only noticing that like he noticed the colourful rocks that he walked by, or the clouds in the sky, or the way those shorts hug your body so nicely.

But he keeps hearing your laughter every ten seconds. Was Steve really being that funny, or you were acting all giggly for him? Did you like Steve? It certainly seems like you do.

You, however, were having so much fun. In the middle of a funny story Steve was telling you about some guy who tried to flirt with Robin at work and the look on her face not knowing how to tell him she didn’t like him —or well, any men for that matter.

The forest path was rugged, but you welcomed the challenge at first, feeling the cool morning air on your skin. However, after a while, your legs began to protest, your breath came in shorter gasps. It was hard to keep up with Steve. Swimmer and football player Steve. So you had to slow down a little, now walking alongside Eddie.

“What’s the matter, princess? Can’t keep up?” he teases with a mocking tone.

“You literally got behind sooner than me” you answer, shaking your head. “If anyone’s slow here, it’s you”

“But it looks like we're both walking together now, so who's really winning?” Eddie chuckles, unfazed by your sharp reply as his eyes twinkle with amusement.

You decide to ignore him. How foolish of you to think that he would accept that silence.

“So what’s the deal between you and Steve? You looked pretty cozy back there. You’re not very subtle, you know”

“There’s no deal with Steve, we were just talking” you roll your eyes, irritation flaring up.

"Right, just talking" he says, his tone dripping with scepticism. "You’re so obvious, it's almost painful to watch"

“Why don’t you stop jumping to conclusions and mind your own business” 

“Ohh, is the princess mad at me now? I’m so scared!” he grins, clearly pleased with himself.

“You’re impossible” you say almost to yourself.

You kept walking for a few more hours, taking occasional breaks to catch your breath and sip some water. The trail seemed endless, but the beauty of the forest made it worth the effort.

As you trudged along, you noticed the sky darkening. Grey clouds, rolling in with alarming speed. The wind picked up, rustling the leaves more aggressively.

A man in uniform hurrying down the trail called you out. "Hey, you guys need to find shelter! A big storm is coming in fast. There's no way you'll make it back down in time"

Panic start to appear in all of your eyes.

“Wait? Seriously?” Nancy asks.

“Yes! There’s a motel that’s a few minutes away, to your left” the guy informs you. “I don’t know how much room they have left, cause I’ve been sending some people there already. But you should go now”

Finally after quickening your pace, you spot the outline of a motel nestled among the trees. You hurry towards it. As you approach, you see the motel was old but resistant.

You reach the door and push it open, stumbling inside just as the storm unleashed its full fury. Inside, it was dim and musty, but at least it was dry.

“Hello, uh, we need room for six, please” Nancy is the first one to get to the register and talk to the old woman who was reading a newspaper as if she hadn’t heard you coming in.

“$70 the night” she answers without even looking up at you.

“Uhh… okay, we’ll take it” Nancy says and as you all reach for you wallets, the woman gives you three keys.

“There’s only three rooms left, two with queen beds and one with two separate single beds” she speaks again, as slowly as she can apparently.

“SEPARATE BED” Robin shouts fast.

“ME TOO” Steve is quickly to join her on calling dibs for that room. Not wanting to share a bed.

“Wait! No!” you complain. “Why would you get it just cause you screamed?”

“We called dibs, sorry sweetie” Robin explains.

“But that’s not fair, we should have discussed it!” Eddie joins in.

“Too late” Steve says handing the money to the woman and taking the key of their room.

“Come on guys, maybe they have a couch” Jonathan tries to make you feel better as he also pays and picks a key to their room.

“Are you actually making us share a bed?!” you ask them offended.

“Maybe it’ll help you become friends!” Robin tells you.

After paying and grabbing that stupid key, you all go to your rooms. As you walk in you notice that, in fact, there is no couch.

“Fuck” Eddie complains once again. “I’ll take the floor, let’s just find some blankets that I can sleep on”

And you turn that room upside down trying to find some. But the only blanket in the room is the –only– one on the bed.

“There’s nothing here!” you sit on the bed admitting defeat. “We’re both gonna have to sleep on the bed. I’m gonna freeze without a blanket and you can’t sleep on the bare floor, you’d freeze too”

“If you wanted to sleep with me, you could’ve just said so” Eddie jokes.

“Not now, Munson! Really not in the mood!”

After each getting ready for bed, you start building a wall of pillows in the middle. Separating his part of the bed from yours.

“I bet you wouldn’t make Steve have a wall of pillows” he mumbles, but you’re able to hear him nonetheless.

“Did you not listen when I said not now?!”

“See, that’s the problem with you. You think you can just walk in here acting like you own the fucking place. Newsflash, princess, not everyone is going to fall at your feet following your little orders!” Eddie gets mad for real this time, but so are you.

“I’m so sorry for trying to make this less uncomfortable! Actually, if you want I’ll even cuddle you while we sleep!”

“Shut up” Eddie rolls his eyes.

“No really, we should even make out before sleeping while we’re at it! Maybe that’ll prove to you that I don’t fucking like Steve”

“Yeah, you wish” Eddie comments.

“Actually, I think you wish. Giving that you’re always trying to flirt with me when we argue and giving how jealous you seem to be about Steve” you notice.

“I’m not fucking jealous. And you’re the one suggesting to fucking make out!”

“See, I think you do want to. You’re just too much of a pussy to even admit it” you whisper close to his face.

“Oh my God, princess!” Eddie starts laughing arrogantly. “You wouldn’t even be able to handle me”

“Oh yeah, you’re right! I could not handle your two centimetres because I would be too busy laughing my ass off at your angry half inch” you respond at his face.

But he doesn’t say anything back. He just looks at you. His jaw clenching, eyes darkening, breath heaving.

Before you can react, he closes the distance in one swift, aggressive movement. Gripping your arms tightly, he kissed you fiercely and angrily, his lips bruising against yours, as if trying to channel all the pent-up emotions into that kiss.

To say that you're shocked would be an understatement. But you did kiss him back. How could you not? With all the ardor and sentiment that he was putting into that kiss?

That fucking kiss.

After he felt your lips moving along with his in a dance, he let all the anger go. The kiss became passionate and intense instead of angry. Like you were finally letting go. Stopped overthinking and finally giving in.

You didn't need to talk. You didn't want to. Instead, you put one hand on his haw and the other on his hair, feeling it in between your fingers, bringing him even closer.

He sighs, holding a grunt as he feels you play with his hair. His hands move lower to your hips, feeling the upper part of your body in the process.

A fight for dominance is held up between you two. He bites your lip harshly, and you let out a little gasp that allows him to win. He's playing dirty. You're not surprised.

He starts to push you down slowly, so you're lying on the bed with him on top of you.

Your hands travel lower as well as you feel his back. You wonder if he has any tattoos there as well.

He dares to leave your lips alone as he lowers his kisses to your jaw and then your neck. He kisses and bites and licks all over your neck. You can bet that he is leaving marks as purple as a grape.

It turns you both on even more.

Eddie feels like he's flying. He's even touching the clouds. Marking you all up is only an image that haunts him in his fantasies. Like when he can't sleep, or is in the shower, or after fighting with you all evening and you're looking so beautiful and you're being such a brat. That's when he imagines leaving you all bruised out. But he's actually doing it right now, and he's going feral.

You start to feel like you're too dressed. His hands go under your shirt, and he starts to pull it up. You pull your arms up as well so he can take it off. His kisses keep traveling lower on your body. Your chest, your shoulders, the top of your breasts. He stops there. Making out with one of your nipples over the lace of your bra while pinching the other. You start moaning, your hips move searching friction on your core, and he lowers his hips so you can start dry humping him.

You feel his smirk against your sensitive skin as well as his hard on against your centre. Mocking your desperation. You're not surprised.

He moves up, meeting face to face once again. "So desperate for me, aren't you princess?" he whispers so closely to you face you can feel his lips moving and his evil smile too.

He watches you breath hard and your legs trying to close searching for that friction in between once more.

"Ask me nicely and I'll take care of you" he proposes and you roll your eyes.

You can't. You won't.

"Beg for it, princess" he tries again. "Let me hear you"

You shake your head. You're playing difficult, but Eddie likes a challenge.

"No? You're not gonna beg for me? Alright princess, you know what I'm gonna do?" he pauses to think. "I'm gonna make you cum so fast on my tongue you'll be embarrassed, and then you'll know how much of a desperate slut you can be for me"

You want to laugh and tell him off, but you are so intrigued by his confidence at the same time. You settle for a defiant look thrown at him, he catches it and smirks again. Something tells you you'll be seeing that smirk quite a lot tonight.

He unhooks your bra and throws it somewhere in the room, he squeezes your tits and caresses your nipples making a mental note to keep playing with them later. His hands travel down to your pants which are the next item being thrown away inside the room.

He takes a second to admire the view of you only on those white panties and he feels his cock jump. He proceeds to take your underwear off too, but this item is put inside his back pocket.

He puts your legs over his shoulders and lowers to be closer to your pussy. He bites his lip admiring how fucking pretty and perfect it looks. He wastes no more time and dives in.

He licks it and kisses it and sucks on it drunk on your taste. He fucking makes out with your clit and has you meowing and arching back like a damn cat.

His hands grab your thighs so hard he's probably leaving marks there too. He sighs and hums and laughs against your pussy hearing your pretty moans.

He looks up at you as you look down at him and you both feel like you could just cum at the sight alone. Your cheeks blushed, eyes watery, hair a mess, lips swollen and little moans are still coming out of them. He looks up at you while still sucking on your clit so fucking good. His eyes are covered by his bangs so you reach to move them to the side. His puppy eyes look straight at you, his hair is also a mess, and his hands are gripping you with so much force his skin as well as yours becomes whiter. And his rings feel cold and addictive against you.

You try to fight your orgasm but looking at him makes it impossible. It hits all throughout your body so good that you cry out his name as you pull on his hair.

As you catch your breath, he sits up and washes all your wetness off his face with the back of his hand, all that with a big smirk on so proud of himself.

"Still doubting me?"

You grunt, annoyed, and bring him closer. You pull his shirt over his head and take a second to admire his bare chest and arms covered in tattoos. You unbutton and unzip his pants. He's just watching you act so desperate for him to undress, enjoying every second of it like the cocky motherfucker he can be.

"Need help?" he whispers on your ear, and you nod with a pout. He stands up and takes his pants of slowly.

"These too?" he asks, signalling his boxers. You nod as you feel even hotter paying attention to the big tent he has on them.

He puts them down too, standing up proudly as you look at his big cock. "Half inch you said?" he teases you, and you look up at him as if telling him to shut the fuck up.

You sit up facing his dick. You grab it gently as you keep looking at it. How is it so... pretty? How the fuck does Eddie manages to be pretty everywhere. Even what you thought could not be pretty. He manages to make it look beautiful.

A mischievous thought crosses your mind. And you start leaving some kisses on the tip. Even a lick here and there.

He gasps unexpectedly. You put the tip in your mouth, moving your tongue around it. He lets out a little moan. You look up at him, he's already looking at you. And you proceed to slowly put all of it in your mouth while maintaining eye contact. His tip touches your throat, and you have to fight a gag. You still have a full fist grabbing the rest that didn't fit your mouth. He moans again at your little show. You close your eyes and start moving your head up and down. Eddie moans louder this time, and hands stop your movements.

"As much as I enjoy this, princess, and I really fucking am" he lets you know. "I want to cum once I'm inside of your perfect little pussy, can I?"

You take him out of your mouth with a 'pop' at the end and look at him defiantly once again. "Beg for it" you challenge him feeling proud of yourself.

He laughs. "Are you seriously telling me to beg for it while you're still practically on your knees for me?"

You won't let him win this one, so you lay back again resting on your elbows. "Beg for it"

He takes a big breath in ogling over all of your body on display for him and only him. He'll let you win this one because his dick is throbbing at the sight before him.

His hands travel up your legs and your hips to your waist. "Please, princess" he says once his face is closer to yours.

"Please, let me fuck you so good" he starts humping his dick against your pussy which makes you both gasp.

"Please, please, please" he kisses your cheek to sugar-coat you.

"Eddieee" you move your pelvis up and down against him. "Do it, put it in"

And he wastes no time to do so. Pushing his tip inside and you both gasp. He bites his lip and thrusts to enter you completely.

"Oh, fuck" your head is thrown back and you lay back down. He feels so big and so fucking good in you.

"Mhh, fuck princess" he lowers his body to be chest to chest with you. "You feel so good baby, so tight around me"

You have to bite your tongue to stop you from moaning his name, you can't keep inflating his ego.

"Don't get all quiet now. You're always talking and the one time I wanna hear you..." he teases you.

"Earn it" you manage to get out. It's ironic how your lips are almost bleeding from how hard you're biting on them to stop you from moaning as hard as you want to, but you still tell him to fuck you better.

Eddie knows what you're doing, but he likes playing with you too. So he accepts the challenge.

He gets up on his knees against the bed and takes your legs to pull you closer to him. You instantly wrap them around his hips. He wraps a hand around your throat and he looks like he's about to say something, but instead, he enters you again. A moan escapes from your mouth instantly, and you see his big smirk back.

He starts a hard and fast pace with his thrusts as you hear his sighs against your ear. You can't help the whines and moans that escape you now. Your hands go to his back scratching him, and pulling at his hair, but it only makes him moan harder.

He lowers his head to your breasts once again and keeps kissing them as he fucks you. You arch back again, because you can feel him everywhere. And he feels so so good.

He feels you clench around his dick and he thinks he could just cum right now. So he starts playing with your clit with his fingers.

"Eddiee... 'm so closee" you whine pulling him somehow even closer.

"Yeah? You are?" you nod desperately. "Beg for it" he whispers and smirks right after saying it.

You roll your eyes but it doesn't take much to convince you this time.

"Please, Eddie," he was about to tell you that you can do better, but beat him to it. "Please baby, you feel so good inside of me, so big. Eddie, please"

Eddie has to stop himself from cuming -which he almost does. "Cum for me, baby"

And you do. Your orgasm hits even harder than the first one. You gasp and whine without even thinking about it.

Few seconds after that, Eddie can't take it anymore. He feels you clench even harder while you cum and it becomes too much. So he lets go too while moaning your name against your skin.

You take a few seconds to catch your breaths when you feel Eddie pull out —and after admiring how his cum drips out of your pussy— he gets up, puts on his boxers and goes to the bathroom, only to come back with a wet towel to clean you up. To say he surprised you again was an understatement. Who would have thought he would be so careful?

After you go to the bathroom as well —with wobbly legs Eddie smirks about— and change into some comfy clothes, you both lay down. No wall pillow this time. And are quick to fall asleep after all the exercise you did today.

The next morning wasn’t so sweet. Loud knocking on your bedroom’s door accompanied a loud Robin telling you to get up already.  

Waking up all curled up with him was bound to happen. But if someone would have told you yesterday morning that today you would be waking up with Eddie Munson spooning you, you would have laughed at their face.

But here you are, and to be honest, it had been a while since you slept so peacefully.

You feel him groaning against the skin of your shoulder, holding you tighter.

You slowly opened your eyes to accustom to the light.

“Did you end up killing each other last night?! Answer me!” Robin shouts again from the other side of the door.

“Certainly feels like it” Eddie murmurs and laughs at his own joke.

“We’re awake! Calm down!” you let her know.

“We have to leave so then we can breakfast, so hurry up!” she lets you know.

You get up and start tiding up. Eddie is slower, he sits on the bed barely opening one eye to look at you and smiles. “Good morning, princess”

You look at him and a little smirk escapes from your lips. “Hey” you greet him shyly.

You both start changing to get down and tidy everything down. After you both brush your teeth, you go to pick up your backpack but he stops you to pull you in close to him.

“Good morning” he says again with his face close to yours while he pulls a strand of your hair behind your ear. Then he proceeds to kiss you, sweetly this time. Which warms your heart. You kiss him back playing with his hair once again.

“Hi, Munson” you say sweetly against his lips.

“You look beautiful in the morning” he admits but before you can even react, the knocking on your door is back.

“Okay! Okay! We’re coming!” Eddie stops them. “Jesus”

After getting down, you were waiting for them to explain where you would be having breakfast but as soon as they see you they start looking at you funny.

“What?” Eddie asks being as confused as you but they all start laughing.

“What is going on?” you ask again.

“Are we just gonna pretend like nothing happened?” Jonathan asks now.

“Yeah, were you gonna act like you still hate each other today?” Steve teases.

And you understand all the laughter. You and Eddie look at each other surprised and apparently this is also very funny because they start laughing again.

“Oh fuuuck” Jonathan starts mocking the way Eddie sounded last night also acting like moaning your name.

“Oh Eddie, so close!” Steve joins him acting like you.

Your face is as red as a tomato right now and you feel like you could just die, it would be better than taking whatever this is. You hide your face in Eddie’s shoulder after he just rolls his eyes fighting another smirk.

He laughs at you, put stills hugs you.

“You wanted us to like each other…” He defends you two.

“Yeah, apparently you took that very literal” Robin teases after catching her breath.

[bookshelf-dust]

relief

evan buckley x fem!reader

gif by @suledins

PSA IF YOU’RE A MINOR: GET THE FUCK OFF MY PORCH BEFORE I WHOOP YOUR ASS. THIS FIC IS STRICTLY 18+. I RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES, YOU RESPECT MINE.

word count: 6,568

warnings: nsfw 18+ only; swearing, inexperienced!reader, mentions of therapy/insecurities regarding inexperience, conversations about sex, heavy petting, fingering

synopsis: buck is a walking golden retriever. when he asks you out for the first time and begins to learn more about his arson-investigating coworker, it’s easy to say he puts that eagerness to use.

a/n: this is the very first smut fic i have EVER written (aside from some old old dirty nsfw headcanons). that being said, please bear with me, because this stuff is hard!! shoutout to all the wonderful writers who do this all the time because phew! 🤧 i am pretty happy with how this turned out, and i’m proud of myself for writing for a new character and trying something totally different from my norm! i had no plan of direction for this fic when i started it, but i hope the end result will resonate with some of you, and if it doesn’t, i still hope it gives you some good feelings and a little escape from this fuck ass world <33

————

Evan Buckley is a hellishly gorgeous man. Oftentimes, you have to remind yourself that he’s real—that he’s not some sort of mirage, a result of your constant sleep deprived state. He’s the kind of breathtaking that you find to be unfair.

You started working for the 118 as their house arson investigator three months ago. Captain Nash soothed every nerve you had going in, showing you to your quaint little office, introducing you to everyone else in the house. You’d definitely needed the comfort of that transition, but hadn’t expected your colleagues to be so welcoming. 

You were transferred as part of a greater Los Angeles initiative to create stronger communication and collaboration between the first responders and specialized investigators, as so much of their jobs go hand-in-hand. Although you’re pretty sure it’s only because the department heads get sick of answering follow-up questions about causes of fires—if people had insurance, if it was an accident or an attack, etc. 

So they split up you and the rest of your original team into varying firehouses so that there would always be an arson investigator on hand. And if there’s any foul play, then the police can be contacted quicker, as the investigator becomes a direct source to target those issues. You’d complain about all these silly loopholes if it weren’t for the fact that you’d gotten a pretty raise for your trouble. 

In truth, working with the 118 is the most useful you’ve felt in a long time. You know you’re good at your job, and you’d tell anyone who asked that you’ve done the work and you know that to be true. This opportunity has allowed you so much more field work than you could’ve imagined, which excites you. And there is the benefit of the eye-candy your coworker provides. 

Which is why, each time Buck approaches you, you have to blink a few times, press your nails into your palm, do something to ground yourself so that you might be able to carry on a conversation with him. Tonight though, he’s managed to sneak up on you, giving you no time to seem more like a sociable human being. 

“Hey, uh, you ever figure out the cause of that house fire from the other night?”

Buck is propped up against the door to your office, the air immediately responding to his presence, making everything feel lighter. 

You look up from your desk, huff out a breath to try and blow the hair away from your eyes. 

“Oh, hey, Buck. The house that the newlywed couple had just bought?”

Knowing him is enough to tell you that this particular fire would be the one to stick in his memory come week's end, the others being much too mundane for conversation.

Buck nods, a mischievous smirk appearing on his face. 

“Yeah, actually,” you say, encouraged to continue. “Turns out the couple started it without even realizing. They didn’t remember everything at first, but after going over there and questioning them some more, they finally pieced it together.”

Buck steps a little further into your office. You watch as he bends at the waist, hands coming to rest on one of the squishy chairs across from you. 

“How do you start a fire in your own house, and not notice?” he asks, that playful lilt to his voice reaching your ears. 

Your cheeks burn, a flush running through your body and turning you hot, head to toe. You tap your pen against your wrist. This isn’t usually the kind of information you’re excited to share with your coworkers—not that they wouldn’t be entertained by it. It’s that they’ll all be too entertained by it. 

“Well,” you cough, “turns out they were having a rather aggressive intimate moment and one thing led to another…” You trail off, hoping you won’t have to say it out loud. It was bad enough being in the room when they described their evening in detail, talking directly to one another like you really weren’t there.

Buck cocks his head at you, like a cat that’s just spotted a bug. “I don’t follow,” he says. His mouth quirks up the slightest bit at the corners. 

You inhale, mustering up enough courage to blurt it out before this becomes any more awkward than it has to be. 

“They were having sex in the kitchen and her ass bumped up against the stove top, turning on the burner. She’d grabbed onto a dish towel, for support or whatever, and when they moved it upstairs, she tossed the towel behind her and…”

“Neither of them noticed the fire because they were too caught up in the heat of the moment,” Buck finishes for you. 

You nod, sucking your teeth just slightly. “Yep. What’s worse is after spending an hour digging around and talking to them, the wife went ‘You know, now that you say all this, I do remember my bum feeling hotter than usual before we made it to the bed.’” You roll your eyes.

Buck drags his hands down his cheeks, straightening. There’s a smile on his face when he says, “Well, I guess they say love makes you do crazy things.”

“I suppose that’s one way to put it,” you say, laughing a little tensely. You chance a bit of eye contact with him, realizing he’d already been staring at you for who knows how long. “Was there anything else you needed? Or just curious about the local arsonists?”

Buck chuckles, turning his face away from you momentarily. 

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d want to go out for drinks tonight.” 

You glance at the clock on the upper right hand corner of your computer monitor. It reads 5:43. “Is it a special occasion or something? I feel like no one’s really done that since Chimney had a kid.”

Buck says your name. A knot forms in your throat. “I didn’t mean with everybody. I meant just the two of us.”

You blink. “Why?” You blurt out, the one syllable making you stutter.

His brows knit together. “Uh, so we can get to know each other better? I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious that I like you.”

You’re pretty sure steam might be coming out of your ears. “Um, well, I don’t like to assume. I mean, you’re a pretty flirty guy, you know?”

He says your name again as he plants his hands on your desk. Your pen falls out of your grasp. You’re mesmerized as you watch him pick it up and place it in the cup over to your left.

“This is Buck 3.0, remember? I don’t just flirt with anyone. Besides, flirting usually comes to me, what with being a sight for sore eyes and whatnot.”

You snort: this cute little laugh that comes straight from the back of your throat that Buck has grown to love. 

Buck decides not to rile you up anymore. “So, drinks or no? I definitely won’t cry myself to sleep tonight if you say no.”

You facepalm. “Yeah, alright. Filling my bloodstream with alcohol might be exactly what I need right now.”

————

Two cosmos in, and you’re feeling a lot better. You’re grateful for having kept a pair of jeans and a relatively-okay-for-going-out top in your locker, allowing you to look somewhat presentable enough to be so near Buck for an entire evening.

So far it’s been pleasant, the both of you making small talk, you showing him pictures of your cat and him listening intently to all the antics said cat gets up to during the night. 

You’re chewing on a bacon covered cheese fry when Buck speaks. “What did you mean earlier, when you said you didn’t like to assume? Like, not assuming a guy would be into you?”

You nod, pausing with your hand in front of your mouth while you swallow. “That’s exactly what I meant. This isn’t something that happens often.”

“You’re fuckin’ with me,” Buck says, taking another swig from his beer. If he’s not careful, he’s going to spill it down his shirtfront. 

Your chest thumps with self-deprecation, the voices from the sides of your head—the ones that create that pressure behind your eyes—telling you this might be a great moment to talk shit about yourself. To air out all your faults to this man you probably don’t even deserve to be sitting across from. God knows he won’t be interested when he really gets to know you. 

You inhale.

You’ve been in therapy long enough to know the power of positive thinking. You know that everyone is on a different, unique timeline—that things happen for everyone at different points in their lives. 

But being inexperienced in all aspects of the romantic world is something you’ve carried shame for practically your entire adult life. Only you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let it consume you anymore. It’s your life, and you have the ability to change the way you think. That doesn’t mean your body doesn’t still react, though, doesn’t still flush with anger at how your life has gone thus far, like your veins don’t thrum as you think of all the vile comments you could say about yourself, the ways you could punish yourself for being the odd one out. 

That’s why being approached by Buck in such a blunt, upfront way was such a shock to your system. That just doesn’t, or rather, it hasn’t ever happened to you. 

And with Buck being who he is, it felt like even more of a fever dream. You almost wanted to spin around and tell them to cut the cameras, the lenses zooming in on your face—mockumentary style. 

“I’m not though,” you say. “Guys don’t usually come up to me and ask me out on a date, or ask me anything really.”

Buck is staring at you intently, and you almost wonder if you went too far by calling this a date. 

“Are you for real?”

“Well, I wish you wouldn’t say it like that, but yeah. I guess there’s just something about me that’s not super alluring to most men? That’s why I was so surprised by you.”

He waves his hands around gently. “I didn’t mean it like a bad thing, I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around that.”

You eat a few more cheese fries. “Why?”

He stutters for a few moments. “Because you’re just so…so perfect?” You snort, an air of sarcasm to it.  “Like, for one, you’re super hot. You’ve got this whole shy but totally badass vibe about you, and you’re passionate and great at what you do. I guess I just can’t fathom there not being a line of guys wanting to jump your bones if you’ll let them.”

You laugh. It makes Buck smile. 

“I appreciate that you think those things about me. For a long time, I thought that was pretty impossible. Guess when you go twenty four years without anyone actively pursuing you, you start to wonder.”

The table falls silent, and you finish your drink, thanking the waiter when he takes your empty glass, returning with a full cup of water for you.

“So, let me get this clear,” Buck says. Normally those words would freak you the fuck out, but you’re feeling a lot less tense now, less scared of talking about your situation. It’s not what you want, but it’s how it is. “No guy has ever asked you out. So you’ve never had a boyfriend? Never had a first kiss? Never had…sex? Or anything adjacent to it?”

“That’s right,” you say. “And the orgasms I’ve given myself don’t count towards the adjacent. So yeah, you’re right. It’s embarrassing, trust me, I know.”

Buck is still reeling from you saying the word orgasm out loud to him right now, not to mention the images flashing through his mind because of it. He pulls himself together. 

“It’s not embarrassing. Are you embarrassed by it?”

You clear your throat. “I’m certainly not happy about it. Honestly, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering what it is that I’m missing that makes me so behind everyone else. And I’ve spent a lot of time being angry at myself. But it’s not like I can force those things to happen for me, you know?”

Buck gives you this look, and you know exactly what he’s going to say. A small grin makes an appearance on your face. 

“Well, I mean, you could,” Buck says. “But I can see why you haven’t. In my experience, just hooking up with someone to get off, or just say you’ve done something, kinda makes you feel like shit.”

You wrap your hands around your cool glass, running your fingers up and down through the condensation. 

“Unfortunately, I’m also a hopeless romantic. So I’ve thought about just hooking up with someone so that I’m not a virgin anymore, but that’s not what I want. I want a proper relationship and someone that cares about me and wants to be with me. Seems that’s a lot to ask for though.”

Buck reaches across the table and sets his hand on your wrist. “Hey, no, it’s not a lot to ask for. And it’s not bad to be a hopeless romantic! Honestly, I think there are more people like that than we know, but they do whatever to fit in. I am sorry that you’ve felt like this is something to be ashamed of. I can’t imagine how that feels. But I also think it means any relationship you’d have would be more successful because you’ve got your shit together already.”

That makes you laugh, just a little, and Buck is immediately thrilled, fully taking your hand in his. You don’t even have it in you to argue with him. For once, you just listen and try to see yourself through his eyes. 

“Well, I do appreciate you saying all of that, Buck. It’s only that I’ve been patient for so long, and I’m starting to think being wanted isn’t in the cards for me.”

Your gaze has dropped to the glossy table in front of you. You can see the reflections from the overhead televisions, from other patrons walking by, waiters carrying trays of drinks. Buck squeezes your hand in a way that makes you lock eyes with him. 

“So…what is it you think this is then?”

You blink. You have absolutely no response in your brain that would be the appropriate answer for this question.

“You asked me out for drinks.”

His grip on your hand moves up to your wrist, and a shiver runs down your spine when you feel his thumb press into your pulse. This is the most contact you’ve ever had with a man. Suddenly you’re hyper-aware of his skin on yours, the feeling of his calloused palms, shockingly cool and free of sweat, much to the contrary of your own. Your heart begins to race when it finally catches up. Maybe it’s better that this is coming on so unexpectedly.

“And…” Buck says. 

You cough even though absolutely nothing is tickling your throat. “You said you wanted to get to know me better.”

If it’s possible, Buck’s smile gets bigger. “Because?”

“You said you liked me?”

“Atta girl!” He teases. A shock of heat shoots straight from your throat down to your low belly. You pray he can’t see it on your face. Luckily, he continues talking. “So, now that we’re clear on me having a thing for you, what would you like to do with that information?”

You take a quick sip of water, mouth suddenly dry. “Well, my immediate thought is that I should run away and hide because in my head, a potential relationship, or whatever, sounds great but right now? Right here with you touching my hand and looking at me? It sounds kind of terrifying.”

Buck starts with the reading again, sliding his thumb further up until it’s nestled in the center of your forearm. It makes you shiver and his eyes flash. 

“Sounds like we’ve gotta get you out of that head of yours and into the present.”

————

With therapy, you’ve gotten exponentially better at learning how to breathe, how to focus on what’s happening right now, so that you don’t spiral out of control just thinking about what might be happening in a few hours, days, weeks. Being more present is something you’ve learned. That is, in your daily life. But when you’re not used to interacting with men, these feelings are so strange, uncomfortable and scary. 

Your imagination can only take you so far, and you’re accustomed to those limitations. Not knowing what a kiss feels like, not knowing the feeling of anyone else’s touch but your own, not being able to properly picture what might happen to your mind and body when in physical contact with someone you want.

It’s both exciting—sitting here, in Buck’s Jeep, as he drives you home, imagining that those feelings might finally be attainable—and nerve wracking, because how does any of this really work?

Reading about relationships, hearing about your best friend’s escapades, watching a love scene on tv—it’s all different than really experiencing it. Truthfully, it feels like there’s a part of your brain focused on dissociating so that your heart doesn’t fall out of your ass or so that you don’t go into hiding before anything can happen.

By the time Buck pulls into your driveway, you’re feeling like hiding might be your safest bet.

He stops the car, turns off the engine. “Let me walk you to your door?”

You nod, unbuckling your seatbelt with shaky hands. 

Buck follows you up the short sidewalk and up to your little front porch. You both pause under your outside lights, listening to the sound of crickets screeching from the shrubs. He puts his hands in his pockets and starts to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

“So, uh, you were kinda quiet on the way here…did I freak you out earlier? Because if I didn’t, I didn’t mean—”

“No!” you blurt. “You didn’t freak me out, you made me hopeful, actually, I think I’m just afraid of all that romantic stuff because I’ve never done it before…”

He smiles. “Well, yeah, of course it’s a little nerve wracking, but wouldn’t it make you happy to experience those things? Like say, a hug, for starters?”

“Are you trying to hug me right now?” You deadpan, though excitement is thrumming through your veins, blocking out any hesitance. 

“Well, actually, I was hoping to kiss you, but warm up to it first, you know?” Buck says, a teasing lilt to his voice, a naughty smirk playing on his lips. You wish there was another word for it, but there’s not. 

You freeze. Your face has got to be on fire. You bring your hands to your cheeks, covering yourself from his view. 

Buck chuckles. Loosely, he circles your wrists. “Hey, don’t hide. What’s wrong?”

You’ve glued your hands to your face. “You’re making me sweat, Buckley.”

If at all possible, this makes him smile bigger, laugh harder, insanely pleased with himself. You hear the rustling of his coat as he leans down, leveling his lips with the shell of your ear. “Is that such a bad thing?” he whispers. 

You pull away quickly, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Not fair!” you joke. “But, I would like a hug…”

At your consent, he’s on you immediately. If you thought he was big just looking at him, having his body pressed to yours, in the most beautiful bear hug embrace you’ve ever experienced, he seems impossibly huge. It makes it feel like you’re the only person in the world. He’s so warm, so solid. His arms are around your back. He’d helped guide yours around his neck, but you’re so dazed that you hadn’t noticed. 

God, he’s so tall. You can feel the soft of his tummy, and you’re afraid that if you stay like this for too long you won’t ever be able to get through another day without craving the contact. His hair is surprisingly smooth where you feel it against your cheek. His form practically swallows you whole. Not to mention how nice he smells. You’ve never been able to understand those lines in your romance novels, talking about spice and man and ginger whatever. But now you do. He smells like vanilla shampoo and woody body wash. 

“This is so nice,” you mumble into the side of his neck, way before you can talk yourself out of it. You can feel Buck’s laugh against your chest. It feels amazing. It’s like an out of body experience. 

He pulls back just enough so that he can look at you, but he doesn’t remove his arms, only shifts so that his hands are gently grasping your waist. You’ve never felt this way before—like all your nerves are being sent into overdrive. You’re alive with the smallest of touches. 

“I genuinely can’t fathom how any man has ever looked at you and not wanted to make you theirs on the spot. I could scoop you up and keep you all to myself right now.”

This time you manage to maintain eye contact with him. You grin, biting the inside of your lip. “Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m feeling really brave right now so if you were serious about that kissing stuff, this might be the time to act.”

Buck tosses his head back, gleeful laughter filling the small space of your front porch. Even so, his hands move up to the sides of your neck, fingers warm against your skin. “You’re sure?” he asks, his thumb caressing your pulse. He feels a kick of cockiness knowing he’s done that to you. 

“I’m sure,” you say. Nod your head one firm time.

“Maybe your cheek first? As a warm up?”

You nod again. You’ve officially steeled yourself. Buck bends to meet you, tilting your head back just slightly so that he can reach you from a better angle. His hand cups the back of your neck as he presses his lips to your cheek. He’s so sure of himself, so passionate about this small thing, that it feels sensual. It puts you in a trance. His lips remain on your cheek for just a minute, the beginnings of stubble scratching at your skin. You have the urge to giggle like a frenzied teen.

“How was that?”

You bite your lip, hating the way you’re buzzing with adrenaline, filling with excitement at all these new sensations. But more so, you feel so special. So seen. You feel fuller than you ever have before at being treated so gently, being cherished and looked at like you’re this precious being. “I really, really liked it,” you tell him.

“Well, I’m glad.” He winks. “I did too.” He relishes in your little giggle. “How about a real one before we call it a night?”

You’re nodding again. “Yes. I would like that very much. I just want you to know that I might be really bad at it and I’m probably gonna embarrass myself and it’s probably going to be the worst, most awful kiss you’ve ever had and—”

Buck’s lips are on yours, successfully shutting you up. You squeak. 

In truth, it does feel pretty awkward for the first few seconds, buck Buck takes it in stride. Doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable, just takes what you’re giving him and guides you in a better direction. He tips your head back again, slotting his lips over yours and pressing himself to you. Your brain goes completely quiet. You can’t think or feel anything that isn’t Buck. This feeling spreads throughout your body, easing the ache in your chest, making you feel light on your toes.

Relief.

You admittedly have no idea what you’re doing but try your best to follow his lead, trying to kiss him back with as much passion as you’re feeling inside, tentatively threading your fingers through his hair, setting a hand on his chest. At one point, his tongue runs over your bottom lip and you shiver. Buck’s hand flies to the small of your back, keeping you grounded. You let it happen, curious as to how it might feel. You don’t have words. He licks into your mouth, and you giggle. It makes him smile and he separates from you long enough to enquire what’s got you laughing. 

“I just realized what people mean when a couple looks like they’re eating each other's faces. It’s really nice, actually. Not as gross as people make it out to be.”

Buck snorts. “Thanks for the compliment.”

“You’re welcome,” you say, already scrambling to get his mouth back on yours. He doesn’t feel like teasing, letting you pull him down, letting you try and lead this one. You’re so gentle—trying to figure out the right way, the way that works for the both of you, to kiss him. He likes that you treat him so carefully.

When you finally end the kiss, you break the silence created by an intense few minutes of eye contact. “Was I bad? You can tell me, I know I was a little clumsy at the least.”

“Nah, not bad,” Buck says. “You’re a quick learner. I enjoyed it. Ten out of ten, would do it again.”

“Me too. Practice makes perfect, right?”

————

For the past few weeks, things with Buck have been going well. Since that first night out, he’s prioritized getting to know you better, spending time with you that doesn’t revolve around a nasty fire and the plethora of causes it may or may not have had. Time that doesn’t allow for any of your coworkers to pick and tease. 

Buck is starting to feel like one of your best friends. That was cemented the night he watched you play Resident Evil 7: Biohazard, enraptured by how quickly you were solving the puzzles and taking down those grimy basement monsters that, frankly, scared the shit out of him. You only told him that you’d played at least four times at the end of the evening. But hey, all your romance novels have told you that the best relationships are based on solid friendships. 

You’ve had the opportunity to kiss him more, some of it sweet and exploratory, you being courageous enough to ask Buck how he likes to be kissed, if he likes it when you tug his hair, if there’s anything you can change or do differently. He’ll only answer those questions if you do first, telling him what’s working and what you want more of. As useful as all of this communication is, it was tremendously embarrassing to share your intimate thoughts with him at first. 

Some of the kissing has gotten a bit heavier. The first time you sat in his lap ran through your mind constantly for days after, appearing in your dreams, day and night. You couldn’t get over the way he felt beneath you—solid, warm, so real. How he sounded when he kissed you, how his hands felt on your hips and the curve of your ass. How it had felt when he’d encouraged you to grind against him for the first time. You hadn’t meant to moan, but it was like relief had shot through you. Like your imagination was finally getting to take a break because now you were actually doing the things you imagined. You felt so alive, so powerful, feeling him get hard between your legs, hearing the strain in his voice as he encouraged you to keep moving until you finished. 

Tonight is the first night of your long weekend. Neither of you have shifts for the next few days, and you took it upon yourself to ask if he’d like to stay over, maybe get takeout and watch a movie or something. It hadn’t been meant as a request with the hope that it would turn into something more. Frankly, you’ve been feeling more shy since that moment you shared a few weeks ago. 

You hadn’t expected to watch a movie in your bed instead of on the couch, hadn’t expected to pause it halfway through because Buck’s stare was practically burning a hole through the side of your head and you had to figure out what was up. 

“You’re staring, Buck. Is something wrong?”

He’d laughed. It was unlike a laugh you’d heard from him before. It felt sensual. It felt laced with want. 

“Nah, nothing’s wrong. I just can’t get you out of my head.”

Your eyebrows had bunched together. “But…I’m right here. Shouldn’t that help?” That laugh again. 

“That’s not what I mean, sweetheart. I mean that I can’t stop thinking about fucking you with my fingers.”

And that’s how you’d ended up on your back, head pressed to your pillows, with Buck hovering over you. He’s kissing you, dragging his tongue over the sides of your neck and kissing a trail back right back up. His hand is resting on your collarbone, fingers tilting you up to him.

“How’s this feel?” he asks, voice muffled against your shoulder. 

“G-good,” you manage. “Really good.”

He pulls back, sitting back on his knees and setting his hands on your thighs. “Yeah? You’ve been squirming an awful lot.”

The heat radiating off of you, the way you cover your mouth with the back of your hand is enough of a response. Buck doesn’t say anything more, the both of you sitting in silence for a few minutes. He knows you want to say something. But he won’t force it out of you. He’ll wait until you use your words. 

“Buck?” Your voice is a whisper. He hums. You clear your throat, and he bites his lip to hide the pride racing through him at knowing he’s got you all flustered. “What you said before, about touching me? I want you to do it.”

“Yeah?” His smile is so gorgeous, so cocky, and if you weren’t so dazed with lust you might reach out and smack him. 

“Yeah,” you say. You give him your best, pleading eyes. That’s the first time you’ve ever looked at him that way, and Buck knows that he’s gonna give in any time you do from here on out. He leans back down, kissing you again. You take one of his hands and bring it between your legs, encouraging him to cup you. “You’ve been kissin’ me like that for so long…already feel pretty wound up.”

He nudges your nose with his, a smirk playing on his lips. He sets his palm down against you, over your shorts. The heel digs into your clit and he starts rubbing you, slow, but firm enough that you gasp. Your hips buck.

“Honestly,” he says, “I’d thought about teasing you, but I feel like you deserve this, after all that patient waiting you’ve done. Is that what you want?”

His middle finger presses over your hole. You’re so warm. He can feel how damp you’ve gotten, that you’ve started to soak through your panties. 

“Please,” you breathe. “Want you to touch me, so bad, Buck.” You brace your hands on his shoulders, feeling like all this pent up sexual energy is just begging to come out. You feel feral. 

“Okay, baby, okay. Let me get your shorts off, alright?” He taps your hip and you lift up, letting him slide them down your legs.

“Oh, um,” he pauses, a concerned look on his face. “I just wanted to tell you, I-I haven’t shaved or anything. I mean, I trimmed like a week ago, but, if that bothers you, I-” 

“Hey, no big deal,” Buck says. “Doesn’t matter to me. Not ever gonna stop me from making my girl feel good.”

My girl. 

That alone felt like an orgasm.

He pulls your panties down, and you feel heat rising to your face when he marvels at how they stick to you. But the second Buck lays eyes on your perfect little pussy, he’s the one feeling dazed. 

“How no one has ever touched you like this…” He licks a stripe up your inner thigh. “How no one has ever told you how much they fucking want you, never fallen on their knees for you…” He spreads your legs farther, shamelessly trying to memorize every detail of you. “Is beyond me.” 

Buck sets his middle and ring finger on the hood of your clit, starting to rub you in slow, agonizing circles. 

“Because I feel like I could devour you right now.” 

Your feet slide up the bedsheets, legs bending at the knee and allowing Buck to get more comfortable as he settles between them. Buck sets his chin on top of your knee. He’s watching his own hand and how it moves over you. His left hand is pushing up your t-shirt just a little so that he’s massaging the fat of your hip. For a moment he pictures holding onto said hips while he fucks you for the first time, imagines what sounds you might make, and he has to keep himself from letting out a moan.

Buck slides his fingers down to circle your hole, reveling in how soft your skin is, how warm and messy and perfect. He gathers some of your arousal on the tips of his fingers, dragging it up through your lips and over your clit. 

“How’s that feel?” he asks. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you.”

You swallow hard, looking up at him. “Feels good. When you do t-that—jesus—the up and down? It’s so nice, but the circles, that’s what will get me to—” 

“That’s what’ll get you to come all over my fingers?” 

You moan. It’s high pitched and whiny, a sound you didn’t know you could make. You force the words out of your throat. “Yes.”

“You wanna take a finger now?” Buck kisses your knee. You’re pretty sure he’s sucked a hickey into the skin above it while you’ve been otherwise distracted. 

“Please, please, Buck, I need to know how it feels—fuck!”

Buck’s fingers are bigger than yours. Much bigger. The sight of him hovering above you, his eyes almost black, burning with desire for you, really does you in. He starts slow: a few soft thrusts of his finger rubbing your walls, exploring the inside of you. 

Then he curls his finger upwards. Your eyes roll back in your head and at the same time your body gives away how fucking turned on you are, how desperate you are for him—and it’s loud. 

You’re so wet that your pussy squelches. Something about that sound flips a switch in Buck, and you’re crying out as he adds a second finger, curling them both, clearly enjoying the filthy sounds you’re making. 

Buck pushes your knee down and away, settling completely beside you, propped up so he can see your face properly while he’s fingering you within an inch of your life. The way he’s looking at you tells you that he’s going to make you come soon. He’s making it a mission. He wants your orgasm as much as you do. He needs it.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby. ‘M so glad you let me help out this time. I bet you’ve spent so many nights spread out on this bed, fucking yourself, doing all the work alone.”

Buck’s fingers are making you brainless. You feel blissful, so serene, so calm, so fucking good. He keeps curling his fingers, scissoring them every once in a while. You want to tell him that you can’t usually come just from this, that you need external stimulation. You grab onto his bicep. 

“Yeah, yeah, Buck—I have. You’re takin’ such good care of me.” He slows down his ministrations, letting you take a breather. Letting you gather your thoughts before he pushes you over the edge. You cup his cheek, pull him down for a kiss. He’s practically got hearts in his eyes. 

“Need you to play with my clit, B-Buckley. W-won’t come without it. I wanna come.”

You look down, suddenly entranced by the way Buck’s fingers are moving inside you. He follows your gaze, chuckling to himself. “You like to watch, pretty girl? Guess next time I’ll have to get you a mirror.”

Buck pulls his fingers out of your pussy and you whine. You shiver. You feel so empty. But all is forgotten when he puts the very same fingers that were just inside of you into his mouth. He maintains eye contact with you while he sucks them clean. You moan, despite the fact that he’s not touching you. It’s just so fucking sexy.

His hand returns to your drenched skin, fingers pressing firmly against your clit. 

“Where’s that spot, huh?” he asks. “Show me where it feels the best.” You guide him, a little to your left, that spot on the hood of your clit, not directly on it where the stimulation will be too much, but the spot that has you arching your back, quite possibly more revved up than you ever have been before. 

Buck is quick to begin soothing those precise little circles again, a look of determination on his face. For a moment, neither of you say anything. There’s only the sound of your breathing, the wet, filthy sound of him rubbing at your clit.

That telltale heat spreads its way through your low belly, through the tops of your thighs, through your pelvis, up your spine. It’s right there, you think. 

“Fuck, I’m—” The words are barely out of your mouth by the time your orgasm washes over you, making the room go fuzzy, shrouding you in pure, thoughtless bliss. He fucks you through it, rubbing you until you’re twitching, successfully overstimulated. 

You lay there, covered in a sheen of sweat, attempting to restore your breathing to a normal rhythm when he comes back with a damp cloth. You’d been able to tell him where they were, tell him you could clean yourself up, but he insisted. He wipes you off, gets you clean underwear and a fresh t-shirt. 

You sit on the edge of your bed, taking in your surroundings, taking in your own feelings about what you’ve just done. You feel so nice. So special. Confident in yourself and your body. 

You feel happy. Having this little piece of you cared for so well doesn’t make you whole. You didn’t need the experience to feel complete, or like it made you normal. But you do feel powerful. This was just the icing on top of the cake. Something of a treat. You wish you could think of another way to put it, but you feel like a badass woman. 

Buck’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. He bumps your shoulder. 

“I was gonna ask if you enjoyed yourself, but…I mean, I did kind of see that you did.”

You laugh, taking his hand in both of yours. “I did, Buck. I’m glad I got to do that with you. It was perfect for me.”

He shoots you a wink. “Good. And I did wanna preface that I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to do all the other stuff.” He watches the way your eyes crinkle up as you smile. 

“I look forward to doing all that other stuff with you. But for now…wanna have a sleepover?”

————

note: none of the gifs or images i use are mine! i get most of my images from pinterest or here, and gifs from about the same. please let me know if i ever don’t credit someone properly!

[beloveds-embrace]

Tbh I'm starting to suspect that most of my asks for you are just going to be me affectionately yelling at you.

Because you've given me so many ideas???? And now I'm faced with the constant "LEMME GIVE THIS READER A FRIEND PLEASE LET ME BE HER FRIEND"

Dukedom AU? Congrats, Reader now has a friend who's father was Riley's and Price's general and while she has no doubts about Reader's husband, they haven't seen each other since Reader's parents practically forbid it in their teens and- actually, isn't Duke Riley still friends with Duke Price? And unmarried? ... She has a letter to write. Short and simple should do it. (And maybe her and Reader resume their queerplatonic relationship- the Friend is devoted to the Reader like a cat returns to the same home that lets it chase the rats)

Shifter AU? Here, Reader's friend is a demigod (Zeus' kid who begged for Hera's forgiveness and bound herself to the goddess in blood and ink) who works nights and lets it known exactly how she feels about her friend being taken without letting her know first via lightening storm over the whole fucking city until she knows Reader is safe. (And maybe she's slowly becoming a minor deity herself. Maybe Soap gets a whiff of hair bleach when she's pissed, or tattoo ink when she's cackling, or antiseptic when she's offering comfort).

Fertility God AU? The deity of death visits sometimes, calm and quiet and peaceful- a reminder that it is dying that's painful, while death itself is nothingness. She never picks the plants herself, merely grabs the flowers Reader picked already and uses that to tap noses. Okay I might actually just take the idea of 141 serving their war god and the war god being slowly brought to his knees and going a whole other direction with it.

Just. Let me give these soft Readers Fierce Friends who'll take one look at these military men and be like "Bitch you still have an Achilles tendon, I will cut you down if you hurt them." And maybe that's a turn-on for a couple of them, idk it could happen.

So. Many. Ideas. And I'm like, buzzing with insecurity about writing them because they weren't mine to start with and tbh Tumblr is really the only way I know these characters? And also I appreciate it if you made it this far through my word vomit thank you for your time and have a good day!

As long as the yelling comes from a place of love who am I to complain? 😌💕

Also omg yes every reader needs a friend. A good, dependable friend that lessens the angst just a little.

Also omg yes?? If Friend manages to even convince Simon to marry her, with the promise that she wants nothing romantic with him just a way to be close to you again, then she’d also solve the rumors that still spread about Simon’s unmarried status even with the general fear of him. And you get your darling Friend close again! Win-win, and the 141 get to see you exceptionally happy and excited.

Friend looked away for just a short while and then returns to learn your shitty boyfriend has cheated on you with your other shitty friend she never liked, you aren’t anywhere in your home and you haven’t gone to work and you have been kidnapped by some pack of shifters- personally, anyone would be fucking pissed too ngl. Friend probably smells the loveliest when she’s with you, though, when she sees you happy at last.

Now the Fertility god au I’m gonna need more from you babes you can’t just leave me hanging here 👁���👁️ /nf

And yes. Like I said all readers deserve a fierce friend it’s not a law but it should be and yes to that too i need them to blur the lines between friends and lovers just a lil too. Life’s more that way, me thinks.

Also no please don’t worry, fandom spaces are shared and new writings are always welcome 😭🫶🏻 i haven’t laid a single finger on any of the games im just rawdogging it too dw so you should absolutely write if you want to without fear!! Thank you for this wonderful ask I loved reading it!

[hulhudhonado]

your work is fucking amazing.

hey! hi, hello, how are you? :)

may i request wanderer, (scara, whatever his goofy ahh name is rn), alhaitham, ajax and kaeya reacting to reader, who’s usually not a fan of physical affection, coming up to them and snaking an arm around their waists while resting their head into their neck?

thank you!! 🩷

CW: swearing in wanderer's part because I believe he would say fuck

HC: Reader is gender-neutral, Reader does not have a vision.

Characters: Wanderer, Al Haitham, Ajax (Childe), Kaeya [Seperately]

Note: Thank you so much! I apologise for the late upload as I am currently studying. I got some time for myself so here you go. I hope I do this justice. Please make sure to interact with the post and enjoy it!

Al Haitham

Al Haitham tends to be prepared for whatever is to come, however, the sudden feeling of an arm around his waist was not something he thought he would ever need to prepare for. 

Kaveh was finally out of the house, preferably looking for a job rather than complaining about everything Al Haitham did. This also gave Al Haitham the luxury of inviting you over without Kaveh taking your full attention. He wouldn’t say he was jealous, but Kaveh knew how to take care of company far better than he could. It was the one thing that left a sour taste in Al Haitham’s mouth, but he would never let Kaveh know about that.

You both were enjoying the quiet atmosphere of the room, nose shoved in books and lounging in your chairs. It was clear you both had chemistry which didn’t need to involve spoken words or gestures, Al Haitham liked your quiet company and you enjoyed his.

It didn’t take long but he finished his book, a little too fast it seemed because he could still see you weren’t done with yours. Not wanting to bother your reading, he closed the book and stood up to get another one. As he tried to quietly navigate the bookshelf, he didn’t realise your eyes slowly lifting off the pages to look at him.

Al Haitham, back turned, looked through the shelf thoroughly. It was clear he had pretty much read everything else on the shelf. He either had to reread another book or go out to find another one. Didn’t seem like a bad date idea to take you out book shopping with him. However before he could reach a decision, you began your attack.

An arm reached around his waist, followed by a gentle head on his shoulder. Al Haitham tried his best not to flinch but the shock of such an unexpected gesture made him shudder a bit. He turned to look down at you, who had slyly made their way to him without him realizing. You had a gentle smile on your face, happy to catch him off guard.

You both were typically not physical. It wasn’t something Al Haitham was against but it was pretty clear to him that you were not someone who indulged in that sort of affection. So seeing you make the first step was not something Al Haitham had prepared for. He looked back at the bookshelf.

“What are you looking for?” You perked up, trying to stifle a laugh. You knew what you did and you were fishing for a reaction from him. “ A book.” He answered, almost robotically.

“Hmm… I’m certain you read everything on this shelf” You could see the corner of his mouth twitch. It was small but he was reacting, you could feel your ego getting bigger. “Yes, you’re right.” Was all he could muster.

It never occurred to Al Haitham that he would enjoy such proximity to another human being. He tended to avoid any type of physical touch from most people. However, the way you held him just made him feel so warm, especially knowing you would never typically do something like this. He knew he would never recover from this, only wanting more in the future.

“Do you want to go out and get some new books then?” You ask, your head nuzzling closer to his neck. “That would be preferable.” He answered. You let out a chuckle, arm slipping off from him. But before you could pull yourself away, Al Haitham reached out his arm, forcing you to stay in your place, both of you now wrapped in each other’s embrace.

You let out a laugh. “Enjoying this much?” “Can’t say I don’t. “ His response only made you laugh more. “ Well it’s up to you, we could go get new books, or, we could just stay like this. What do you say?” Before Al Haitham could respond, a creek from the door could be heard.

“I’M BACK, OMG YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE THE THINGS I HAD TO DEAL WITH- Oh you have company.” Kaveh burst in, welcoming you the minute he saw you. Luckily for Al Haitham both of your reflexes were fast enough to pull away before he had seen you guys so close to one another.

Standing in front of the bookshelf, barely an inch apart, you both stood trying to seem as normal as possible. Al Haitham couldn’t believe he was getting embarrassed by almost getting caught by his roommate.

Al Haitham wasn’t prepared for what had happened today but he knew you planned to do more of this in the future. Hopefully, he would be prepared for the next time you did attack, and maybe he should find ways to kick Kaveh out for longer. He definitely did not want Kaveh to walk into whatever you both had planned for the future.

Childe (Ajax)

The closest that Childe has ever been able to touch you was probably during your friendly spars. You loved your distance and tended to keep a lot between the two of you. Even though you both had been together for quite a while it seemed you were not the type to get touchy with others. So Childe himself was amused when you decided to wrap an arm around his waist.

“What’s the occasion?” He asked, trying his best to focus on what was written in front of him. It was like you had calculated it. For once he was at the bank properly reading documents at his office when you decided to pop by. Now here you were slithered next to him, wrapped around him with your head on his shoulder.

He tried not to react, but he honestly wanted to throw away whatever he was reading just to return the favour. It was bold of you to do something like this so suddenly at such a random time. You never came by when he was working, even though he insisted. Paperwork was not fun for him but you were a rule-abiding citizen when you weren’t on a battlefield. He just had to know what was going through your mind for you to do this.

“No particular reason. Just felt like it.” You answered, nonchalantly. Your tone was dull and meek, escaping your throat like a whisper. Your usual fighting spirit was not there and he could sense it the minute you spoke. He finally looked at you and it was clear as day that you were not feeling well. Your hair was dishevelled and your eyebags were very noticeable.

Every single scenario flooded his mind. Was it because of work? Was someone rude to you? What happened to the person who would maniacally laugh whenever they got a scratch on him? He wanted to bombard you with questions but he stopped himself. Maybe it was because he was using his brain at this very moment rather than his instinct to fight, but he knew asking questions was not going to make you feel any better. So he reacted instead.

Shifting the documents to one of his hands, he let the other one wrap around you, engulfing into his side, closing any gaps between the two of you. You only responded by letting him do so, completely enveloping yourself in his arms and him in yours.

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”He asked, giving you one more chance to answer if you wanted to. “I’m alright. Just let me stay like this for a while.” Even if he was disappointed by your response he wouldn’t show it. Instead, he responded with a hum, not prodding you with any more questions and letting you enjoy the warmth he could provide with the embrace.

So you both stayed together, wrapped in each other's arms while he worked. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep but that didn’t stop Childe from keeping you by his side. Even in your sleep, your arm refused to let his waist go which did make him chuckle, maybe he could tease about this when you were feeling better.

Honestly, he expected the first time you held him like this to be in a more romantic setting but he was not going to complain about what he was getting. It was already a big step that you decided to come to his side for comfort. Your usual method of letting go of bad feelings was always sparing so it was a nice change of pace.

Maybe next time you do feel bad and need his comfort he will be able to get some words out of you. For now, he’s going to let you do whatever you want, even if it means catching him off guard with an arm around his waist.

Kaeya Alberich

“Cheers for a happy 6 months!” Kaeya chuckled. You both clinked your glasses, giggling tipsy from the alcohol. You both had been dating for half a year now, which was unbelievable in Kaeya’s mind. Kaeya always had a one-sided crush on you ever since you both had done academy training together. Who knew you felt the same? And now here you both were, celebrating together.

Kaeya could see Diluc roll his eyes yet he didn’t care. He knew it was considered cheesy to celebrate every month of a relationship, but you were the type to enjoy such things so he couldn’t say no. He began to love these silly celebrations with you, it felt special.

“You guys do know this isn’t the most romantic place to celebrate right?” Diluc piped up, as he organized the wine shelf behind him. Kaeya stuck out a playful tongue at him before taking a sip, which only made your tipsy self giggle some more.

“Yeah yeah, but it’s the place where we first confessed! It has special memories, you should be glad your tavern can create such happy moments.” You say, words a bit slurred but still understandable.

As you spoke you could hear the other tavern people cheer, which only made you cheer along. Kaeya could only stare at how stunning you looked at this moment. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact he was dating such a wonderful individual.

Diluc sighed, preparing you both another glass. He slid the glasses over. “Here then, for a successful 6 months.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes as you and Kaeya once again cheered.

Kaeya took the glass without hesitation, ready to down it in an instant, but he wasn’t prepared for what you had planned. An arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him and his chair closer to you. Kaeya had already begun to drink but the sudden action caused him to choke on it.

He coughed so much, that the drink spit out of his mouth. Diluc looked in disgust while you only could worry. “Are you alright?” You ask concerned, but Kaeya couldn’t hear anything. It was unbelievable, you had wrapped your arm around his waist! You both have never been this close before!

You tended to always stay in your own space and Kaeya wasn’t going to push it, especially since you guys were still freshly dating in his mind. He wasn’t going to risk ruining a relationship he dreamt of for years. Maybe it was the alcohol but it seemed that you had the confidence to pull such a sneaky trick.

“I’m fine i’m fine. It went down the wrong pipe for a second.” He tried to laugh it off, wheezing between sentences. He hoped you didn’t notice his panic, he didn’t want you taking your arms off him anytime soon. You smiled at himy placing your head on his shoulders which only made his head spin more.

Diluc looked at Kaeya in amusement. He got front-row seats to see his brother who was typically cocky completely speechless. Kaeya looked as a devilish smile crept up on Diluc’s face. “You know, it really is such a special day. Here, more drinks. On the house.” He slid you both more drinks. Kaeya could only stare in disbelief as you continued to chug them down like nothing.

“You’re being kind today Diluc! Thank you!” You gleefully exclaimed, setting the glass down and wrapping another arm around Kaeya. Your head that was on his neck pushed closer, and Kaeya could feel your hot breath on his neck, which only made him feel hotter.

The alcohol wasn’t helping, he could feel the dizziness get more intense as you pushed yourself closer to him. He was certain you were going to melt and mould him into slime with all the heat he was accumulating.

He could see Diluc prepare another drink, a sly smile still on his face. If this was how you acted tipsy he wasn’t ready to face you when you were a complete drunk. He stood up from the chair, pushing the glasses away from you which only rewarded him with a whine.

“we had enough for tonight. I’ll take you home.” You pouted but mumbled an OK, standing up yourself. However, you refused to let go of his waist, forcing him to stay close to you at all times. He tried to control his shyness but it was hard when you were so close.

“Hope you both enjoy the rest of your anniversary!” Diluc called out, a smile on his face as Kaeya glared, guiding you out of the tavern. He hoped the next time you decided to pull a stunt like this, you both weren’t as drunk anymore.

He also planned on never having anniversary celebrations at the Angel Share ever again. Or at least not on Diluc’s shift. He wasn’t ready for what other PDA you had in store, knowing Diluc would fan the flames to embarrass him. Maybe next time you guys can go drinking at each other’s houses instead. You’ll have to see on your seventh anniversary.

Wanderer

“What the fuck?” That was the first words that came out of his mouth when you decided to wrap an arm around his waist, placing your head on his shoulder. 

“Shut up I’m trying to rest here.” You mumble, closing your eyes, enjoying the icy sensation from his porcelain-like skin. The Sumeru desert was hot, unbearably hot. You didn’t want to come here but when you’re working in the Akademiya you didn’t have a choice in what you had to do to progress your research.

Lucky for you, you were accompanied by a walking ice pack. It was a shame his attitude wasn’t as cool as he was.

“No, I won’t, get off me.” He hissed, trying to push you off himself. You just rolled your eyes, gripping him a bit tighter. You knew he could easily toss you aside if he wanted to get you off. He had a vision that allowed him to blow you away in an instant, so him being so meek was an act.

“Yeah yeah, good luck with getting me off, i’m quite persistent.” You continue to mumble, pushing your head into the crevice of his neck. Wanderer had a very peculiar scent. A mixture of grass and freshly picked kalpalata lotus. It was such an odd smell but you honestly have got a bit addicted to it. It also helped his frosty exterior enhance it. Either way, the smell felt clean and cool, a refreshing scent during such hot weather.

You could hear him scoff, the sound ringing in your ears a bit since you were so close. You were close enough if you just turned your head you could peck him on the lips, you would have done so if you weren’t so tuckered out.

“Whatever, I’ll let you off this time. I won’t let you pull this shit next time.” You could only chuckle. This wasn’t the first time he tried to threaten you. To be honest he seemed to dull down a lot more compared to everything that happened before. You both weren't usually touchy, actually, you were not touchy at all, so whenever when you do shit like this it always ticked him off. You were honestly surprised he hadn’t gone into a swearing fit like when you first held his hand. It was almost as if he was slowly getting used to your touch, which you didn’t mind.

However today you were just out of it, too tired to mess around with him or worry about touch. The shade of the cave you both sat under accompanied by his cool refreshing self attached to your side made you drowsy. You could feel your brain finally go into shut-down mode.

“Hey, don’t you dare go to sleep… ” You would think he was trying to stop you from falling asleep but his intentions were clear when you could hear how softly he whispered those words to you. You could feel his arm, which was nowhere to be seen until now, finally, wrap around you from the side. 

“If you fall asleep I’m going to leave you here to fend for yourself…” He continued to whisper. It almost sounded like a lullaby but you knew the sun would be rising from the west if that was the case. “Yeah yeah, at least bury me in the sand before you do.” That was the final words you said before you finally got knocked out.

- - -

To no one’s surprise when you did wake up, he was still at your side. Both of you were unmoved from the original position from when you had fallen asleep. The only difference was that the sun had set and the stars littered the sky.

“Good morning to you.” He grumbled which you answered with a yawn. “ What happened to leaving me alone to fend for myself?” You asked, trying to let go but as he remained unmoved you could not.

You huffed, trying to push him off but he finally decided to use his given strength to make sure you couldn’t. He didn’t turn to look at you, instead focused on the sky. You sighed, giving up and following his gaze up to the sky. Was the sky always full of that many stars?

“I changed my mind.”

[bump1nthen1ght]

A Very Monstrous Kinktober: Day 30 (Free Use)

Kinks: Free Use

Pairing: Male!Shrine God x GN!Shrine Keeper!Reader

Other Kinks: Doggy Style, Cowgirl

Warnings: Slightly Dubious Consent (Reader is subservient to the god, but has fully consented to this free use relationship)

Word Count: 1087 words

Kinktober Masterlist

A/N: I personally imagined the God character in this to look similar to Gintarou from the anime Gingitsune (though he would never treat you this way)

A lighter flicks in your hand, struggling to produce any flame. You know it has enough fluid, having refilled it not two days ago, but your thumb keeps slipping across the button.

“My l-lord, please,” You pant, sweaty hands struggling to keep a grip on the lighter, “-the incense has to be lit. Please, just wait-”

You gasp, lighter falling out of your hand as you’re forced to press it down to the ground, stopping yourself from falling face first into the temple floor. Sharp hip bones press into your backside, claws digging into the fat of your ass as your lord swivels his hips.

“I do not care about some damned incense, pet.” Your lord spanks your ass hard, his calloused paw leaving a large mark on your skin. “Nor do I care for your obstinance.” Your lord grasps onto your hips, yanking them back onto his eager cock.

A shiver runs up your spine, feeling your lord’s dick twitching inside you. The head rubs deliciously against your insides, scraping along your walls with each thrust, stretching you beyond limits.

“I don't mean to-” You yelp, your lord spanking you again.

“Yet, you don't give your lord his rightful respect.” Claws scrap along your hip, enough to leave irritated stripes on your skin. “It is your duty as shrine keeper to follow my commands, my wishes.” Your lord leans forward and grabs you by the jaw, forcing to arch your back and press against him. “And my wish is to fuck you without distraction.” Your master begins thrusting faster, wrecking your insides, a gasp tearing from your lips. “Is-” slap, “-that-” slap “understood?”

“Yes, my lord!” Your cry, nails nearly clawing into the concrete as you're overstimulated. Your lord gyrates his hips once he’s balls deep, a deep growl in his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“You are forgiven.” Your lord growls directly into your ear, leaning over your pliant body. His rough tongue licks up your neck, sharp canines dangerously close to your jugular. “Only because you are usually so good for me.”

Its true. Since coming to tend to this temple 2 months ago, you have been an exemplary shrine keeper. You follow your lord’s orders to the T, always diligent and reverent to your god. Falling to your knees when he commands, opening your legs whenever he deems fit. As his subject, your body belongs to your god, an offering he could always indulge in, a hole he could fuck whenever the urge striked him.

You knew what you were signing up for. But you can’t deny your lord’s fervent appetite has made maintaining the temple quite a challenge. You could hardly bend over to scrub the floors without your lord throwing up your robes and indulging in your hole, his covetous hands fondling you at every hour, even when the temple had visitors. The common folk could’t see your god, of course, but still! The impropriety of it all.

Even so, you could hardly complain when your lord brought you to dizzying heights of pleasure. Like right now for example.

“Unggh! How do you stay so tight?!” Your lord calls like an insult, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “I’ve stretched you open so many times, yet you still milk my cock like a virgin sacrifice.”

“I am yours to use, master.” You pant, eyes sparkling with tears and reverence. “I hope to always satisfy you.”

“That you have, pet.” Your lords voice is a purr in your ear. “So obedient. I am rather lucky to have such a pleasant shrine keeper.”

The compliments have you buzzing in happiness, unintentionally clenching harder around your lord’s cock. He growls in your ear.

“C’mere.” He grabs you by the hips and sits himself backwards. Cock still inside you, you are tossed back onto your masters lap, his fluffy white tails now between your thighs. He deftly spins you around, your hands digging into his furry chest.

“Ride me, pet. Consider it a reward for your hard work.”

You nod, body aching and breathless, but immediately bidding to your lords will. Your hips grind down on his lap, ass throwing up and down onto his cock. You sigh as your nails clench into his fur, your God watching your debauched face with a proud smirk. The same claws that left marks now rub comfortably onto your hips, admiring the scars he left on his pet.

“Does that feel good?”

“Y-yes, my lord.” You pant, ignoring the way your thigh muscles scream.You had been gardening today and were already quite sore. But what your lord commands, you do. “Your cock is magnficiient.”

You can practically see the pride light up on your God’s face, so unbefitting of a deity. By now is usually when he lets you off the hook, grabbing your hips and bouncing you like a fleshlight. It can be a bit rough, but at least it’s a break for your poor quads.

But your lord is cocky, bolstered by the compliment, instead resting both paws behind his head. He likes hearing your heavy breaths, seeing the sweat begin to drip down your chest, your eyes clenching shut. He likes to see you work for it. The rush it gives him is incomparable.

He couldn’t have asked for a better shrine keeper, both in dedication and appearance.

“My l-lord, I’m close.”

You whine, a warning courtesy your master demands. You had expected your God to only chase his own pleasure, to use your body like a tool. But your lord seems to delight in your orgasms, insisting you tell him when yhey wrack your whole body, leave you milking his holy cock.

“Yes, my dear, I can feel it.” Your god licks his lips. “Lets cum together.”

You breathlessly nod, forcing your eyes to open, to watch your master as he likes. Like always his gaze is covetous, dark and almost…menacing.

If you were anyone else, you'd think he was a demon, not a god.

“Ohhh!”

You whine as your lord howls, uncaring of any potential passersby. His cock juts against the very edge of your hole, hips thrown up as his cum fills you to the brim. Your muscles tremble as you feel your own crescendo, feeling slowly returning to your extremities.

Your master is gracious, letting you rest on his warm chest, catching your breath. A soft paw rubs the back of your head.

“Rest, pet.” A claw massages the back of your neck. “The chores can be finished tomorrow.”

[bigtreefest]

Pour Clueless Babes

Pairing: Bartender! Curtis Everett x Reader

Summary: unbeknownst to you both, you and the broody bartender can’t help your want to be around each other

Word count: 1,751

Content/warnings: swears?, slight objectification and misogyny, attempts at hiding feelings, alcohol consumption, teasing from friends, a hint of idiots in love?, a small mention of Curtis’s rooftop herb garden, it’s mostly fluff and mutual pining

A/N: written for Siri’s Birthday Bonenanza!! Love you, babes, and happy birthday. @stargazingfangirl18

Comments, likes, reblogs, and asks are so appreciated. Thank you for reading!!

Prompts: Babe is in love and cranky about it + Character A is frustrated at how fucking oblivious Character B is to their advances + “I’m sure you could talk me into saying ‘yes’ to whatever you want.”

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist

“You just need to buck up and ask her out.”

Curtis rolled his eyes at his friend sitting in a lawn chair across from him in the rooftop garden, pairing it with a scoff before he took another sip of his beer.

“It’s not that easy, dude.”

Ari, Curtis’s longtime friend, co-owner and often co-bartender of the main dive in town shifted in his seat with a raised brow and tilt of the head. “Sure it is! You’re hot, and from the way you talk about her, so is she. I don’t see what could go wrong.”

Curtis grumbled and finished off his bottle, grabbing another from the bucket of ice and uncapping it. “A lot. A lot could go wrong, Ari. I don’t want a quick fuck and I sure as hell don’t have girls throwing themselves at me like you do on Friday nights.”

Ari scoffed, but had no rebuttal, it was true. Women flocked to Ari’s side of the bar, always creating a crowd where the regulars couldn’t get served. So Curtis took them, while Ari could be caught slinging dozens of fruity drinks for all the flirts who constantly mentioned how strong and attentive he was. The only reason Curtis didn’t complain was because they split tips, Ari getting several banknotes marked with phone numbers and salacious messages, and Curtis getting the peace of the calmer drinkers.

Sure, a woman here and there would come to Curtis for a drink, figuring Ari wasn’t worth the wait and the shoulder bumping, but that was few and far between. Until you.

From the moment he watched you walk through the door, he kept an eye on your searching gaze, smiling when you saw your friends, but making a beeline for him before you went and sat.

The next time you came up to him, though, Curtis made sure your drink was on the house. Anything for the pretty girl who smiled at him. Chose him. And was much more enjoyable than his grumbling regulars.

Curtis was pulled out of this thoughts by Ari’s groan.

“Listen, I don’t think women throw themselves at me…”

Curtis looked at his friend with disbelief at the blatant lie.

“…that much. Not that much, I was gonna finish, jeez. Plus, what’s it matter, it’s not like I take them home…usually. Sloppy drunk isn’t cute and too many of them just keep coming back until I cut them off. No one has chatted me up like they want a date instead of in my pants because all I get are googly eyes, but this sounds different for you. She sounds good.”

Curtis sighed and wiped a hand over his beard. Ari was right. You were good. Probably too good for him. Plus, it’s not like you even noticed any move he tried to put on you. You were probably just being nice, not flirty. You probably didn’t even notice the free drinks using special ingredients made from the garden, the rare smile he’s never given another customer. It was kind of infuriating that he was so ready to give himself over to you and you had no idea just how deep it ran. How it affected him and stayed on his mind even in the off hours. Guys had to be throwing themselves at you, and he was just another one to add on to the bottom of the list.

“Yeah, yeah, I just…I don’t wanna mess it up, ya know? Am I even ready for this? Why now? Why do I have to feel something now? And I don’t even know if she feels the same way!”

Ari only offered a shrug.

“I don’t know, man. When it’s time, it’s time.”

That’s all he gave. Curtis groaned and wiped a hand down his face, rubbing back and forth over his beard once again. “Yeah….it’s just…ugh. I can’t think of anything else. I’ve got all these plans for bar improvement. The herb garden is finally coming in nicely and I was gonna meet with those brunch people from the city to talk about expanding our offerings beyond the few ideas I’ve come up with, but I can’t focus on a goddamn thing other than her.”

Curtis was almost mad it was affecting him so much—that he looked forward to seeing you. Yearned to make you another drink, hold conversation just a second longer. Nothing had ever stuck to his mind this much.

Ari only laughed as he looked over the edge of the roof at the town where the two had grown up. Over all that time, he had never seen his buddy this torn up.

Pulling two more drinks out of the bucket, he uncapped them and handed one to his friend.

“Well, here’s hoping you get this all sorted out. And by that, I mean, get your big boy pants on, fully admit your feelings, and ask her out.”

Curtis groaned and threw a hand over his eyes while his best friend simply smirked, knowing he was right.

It was Friday night and you were hanging out with some of your friends at the bar you had been frequenting lately. Everyone around you was in deep conversation, but you were lost, zoned out, with your mind on only one thing: that gruff bartender.

You had already been up to see him three times this evening, insisting to be the one to get the next rounds for the table in hopes of garnering his attention.

You felt successful. Maybe? Every time you went up to him, his full attention was on you. And it looked like he was smiling, right? Well, no, he probably did that with everyone. Except…in the several times you had caught yourself staring at him, he never once made that same face at another customer. So it had to mean something, didn’t it?

You felt your shoulder shaking, pulling you out of your thoughts and blinked back into consciousness.

“What? What?” You shook your head and looked back at your group of friends.

Alana sitting next to you rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Your drink has been sitting empty for a minute, girl. We’re just surprised you haven’t gone back to the broody bartender, yet! Jenna said she dropped by and all she got was a scowl when she asked for green tea shots, but we see the way he looks at you. Think you could score us some good shots?”

You scoffed and leaned back in your seat, trying to deny what you felt, but didn’t necessarily see. “Oh please, I’m sure he doesn’t even notice me!”

The three girls across from you exchanged a glance before Jenna shook her head. “Um, wrong. One hundred percent wrong. I’m pretty sure you’re all he notices and he’s the same for you. Can’t believe you two are so blind to each other. You keep going up to him and you’re up to a total of what? Half a dozen free drinks over a few visits at this point?”

Everyone around you shared the same knowing glance and you were ready to concede. You couldn’t help the way your heart started beating faster with anticipation of going up to him again, but the alcohol flowing through your body, finally settling in, was enough to override any last ounce insecurity you had. You just wanted to be close to him that badly again, despite his apparent disdain for fancy shots. It was worth a try, though, so you sighed and nodded and stood up, saving your brain power so you could say something coherent to the beautifully beastly bartender.

As you steadied yourself in your shoes, the alcohol hit a little harder, but you weren’t going to stop now. As you began your steps across the wooden floor, your eyes locked with the man with the dark beard and buzz cut and watched as his deft hands slid another beer across the counter at a regular.

You waltzed up to the varnished bar and drummed your fingers on the edge as you looked up at the head between a towering pair of broad shoulders. If you’d have known better, you’d have said he was almost beaming at you.

“Hey sweet thing, what can I get you?”

A tingle went down your spine at that. You would’ve claimed it was the alcohol, if you hadn’t known that it usually numbed you instead of set your body alight. The bartender, who you’d come to know as Curtis, usually wasn’t that outright with the pet names. From what you had seen so far, he was pretty reserved. Something had changed tonight, though, and you couldn’t complain about that, so you threw it back.

“Well, handsome, I’m really sorry to ask this, but would you be willing to make me four green tea shots? I’m sorry if it’s a lot to ask…”

From your side, you heard a snicker, and your eyes found an older gentleman, likely one of the bar regulars. Curtis’s gaze had darted to him, too, except his eyes were stern. The gentleman knew that Curtis wasn’t usually one to make drinks with more than a couple steps, and especially not on more than one occasion in a night unless it was for someone pretty exceptional. And you seemed like both of those things. Curtis simply cleared his throat to regain your attention and pulled out the glasses before finding what he needed.

“Well lucky for you, I’m sure you could talk me into saying ‘yes’ to whatever you want.” He winked as he expertly tipped the bottles.

A blush crept up your cheeks along with the one the liquor had put there. You were gone enough on his behavior and your last few drinks that there wasn’t much to hold you back anymore before you blurted, “Does that include dinner with me next Thursday?”

Curtis stopped in his tracks, slamming the bottles down on the counter with a loud thud that startled you. His face was almost unreadable. Sure, before tonight, you felt like he may not have seemed interested, but in your small chats over drink orders throughout this evening, that changed. You didn’t read this wrong, did you?

You watched intently as his gaze which was fixed on the worn wooden table shifted upward to look at you through his eyelashes. Those gorgeous, long eyelashes. A true, genuine smile was on his lips. He had no idea you felt the same way as him. “Yeah. I think it does.”

Bonus A/N: bartender!Curtis will return in the second part of this, and we’ll see much more about his herb garden and secret treats for his girl. This is the first thing I’ve written in months, so cut me some slack, okay, but I’d love your feedback in all forms.

Taglist: @hawkeyes-queen @ronearoundblindly

[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Chapter 9. The Bison

Hi Everyone! Happy Friday! Enjoy a little bit of Jealous Joel today :)

Chapter Warnings: cursing, angst, alcohol consumption, negative talk about body image (not by Joel) - Minors - DNI

Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!OC Plus Size Reader

Chapter Summary: A night at the Tipsy Bison brings you closer to Joel and his family. 2.3K

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8

Chapter 9. The Tipsy Bison

You have your first patrol with Joel in the morning. It’s weird, feeling excited and nervous at the same time. You want to feel like you’re contributing but it’s scary beyond the walls and you didn’t realize how much you’ve started to familiarize with the comfort that Jackson brings. On the other hand, you feel similarly conflicting feelings about seeing your patrol partner. Joel Fucking Miller. He’s under your skin. He’s made you feel safe, made you feel alive, but he's also pulled the rug out from under you, abandoned you, and hurt you. And after last night when he came to your room, open and honest, you let him right back in. He’s so infuriating. He’s funny and warm and fucking sexy and then he’s cold, mean, detached. It’s like fucking whiplash.

As you wrestle with all these thoughts inside the dining hall, Maria notices you. “Ash, hey, you okay? She asks softly, not wanting to startle you. You meet her gaze and realize everything you’d been thinking is written all over your face. God, why am I like this? “Hi Maria, I’m fine, just nervous about patrol. Not to say that I’m not up for it, it’s fine just a little anxious that’s all.” You say this all very quickly, not wanting her to think you’re weak. Maria puts her hand on your shoulder lightly, its oddly so comforting in this moment. She’s really got that motherly instinct watching her other hand rub her belly. “Hey, listen, it’s fine to be nervous, I get nervous every time Tommy goes out. It’s incredibly brave of you to volunteer to go out there, especially so soon after arriving here. How about we go for a drink at the Bison, I’ll be your DD and make sure you get home safe,” she laughs. “Sure, that sounds good, Maria, thanks.” You smile at her, finishing up your food and clearing your table before walking with her across the street to the Bison.

Maria and You have been talking for the better part of an hour now and you’ve learned so much about her. That she used to be a District Attorney, okay – go off, that she’s been in Jackson since its beginning, and even that she lost her son in all the madness of the end of the world. You can’t believe how open and blunt she is, she doesn’t mince words, she’s tough but still loving, and she’s an instant friend, you know that now. The two of you are cackling when Tommy and Joel walk in together. Tommy with a million-watt smile starts laughing as he walks up to the two of you. “Ladies, what’s got you all in stiches’ this evenin’. You know, my wife shouldn’t be drinking right now,” he says to you, smirking. Maria trying to contain her laughter, “Honey, it’s not my fault, Ash is just that funny.” Tommy gives her a kiss and responds, “Well, I’m happy to see you two hit it off so well, right, Joel?” Joel, who is standing awkwardly and looking around the bar huffs, “Yeah, sure.” Maria says, “Well, come on, join us!”

Joel and Tommy, both join you at the table for four Tommy next to Maria and Joel next to you, as Joel speaks quietly to you, “We’ve got patrol in the morning, I don’t want to be dealing with your hangover tomorrow,” eyeing the whiskey in your glass. You scoff as you push your glasses up nose, “Oh be quiet, Dad, it’s my second glass in over an hour, I’ll be fine.” Tommy and Maria share a knowing look and try to contain their laughter as Joel glares at them. “Fine, but don’t complain to me when you’ve got a headache tomorrow.” You roll your eyes dramatically, down the rest of your drink and stand up, “I’m off to get another drink anyone want anything?” Joel stares at you and you stare at him. Tommy finally speaks up, “I’ll go with you.” Still staring at Joel like you’re daring him to say something, you begin to walk off toward the bar with Tommy in tow.

As you wait for your drinks Tommy clears his throat, great here it comes, “Listen, Ash, I know Joel can be a bit uptight,” at this you laugh through a scoff. He continues, “Look, I know he’s a lot, but he means well.” “Does he?” you start to speak but Tommy stops you, “All I’m asking is that you give him a break. It’s obvious he cares about you.” At this your eyes flick to Tommy’s in shock, he tries his best to contain the upturn of his lip. “When I told him about you volunteerin’ for patrol, he lost his shit, and not because you can’t handle yourself, we all know better than that. He was worried. I know he’s got a shit way of showin’ it, but you mean somethin’ to him. And if you give him time, I promise he’ll come around.” You nod, looking away to find Joel, but while Maria is chatting with a woman passing by the table, Joel is starring fucking daggers at someone. You follow his gaze to find, ugh, no, Brad or wait, Ryan. And Ryan, is looking right at you smiling with his table full of bro buddies.

Thankfully your drinks arrive then, and you grab them and walk back to the table. Trying to ignore Ryan and his pals as you walk past. Sitting down with your drink and Joel’s matching one you ask Joel, “Who popped your balloon?” He looks at you, confused and Tommy laughs. You’re smirking at Joel and his eyes betray him, like they always do and soften as he shakes his head, “It’s nothin’,” smiling slightly. He goes to sip his whiskey, and you watch his mouth, god his lips are beautiful. Pouty, soft, perfect. You can remember how they felt on you. Your mouth parts as you watch him, totally entranced. Then you realize Maria is talking to you. You look over at her and Tommy who are looking at you with sly little smiles, and you know you’re caught. Joel, thankfully oblivious, asks the two of them, “What is going on, why are ya’ll acting so fuckin’ weird?” You swallow and before anyone can say anything, Ryan comes over to the table with a stupid grin on his dumb face. His friends pretending not to watch whatever is about to go down.

“Ash, hey, Tommy, Maria,” he nods to both then looks at Joel, “uh, Joel.” Tommy and Maria nod back at Ryan but they look at you and Joel, noticing how you look unimpressed, and Joel looks like he might take Ryan’s head off. Tommy stiffens, bracing for impact. Ryan turns back to you, putting his hand on the table near you and leaning in, he says, “It’s good to see you, you look great,” eyes grazing up and down your form. Joel then puts his arm around the back or your chair. You notice it and look back at him but he’s looking right at Ryan. “Look, I was wondering if you’d want to get a drink with me sometime.” He looks back at his friends with a grin as if he’s got this in the bag. You start to speak, and Joel finally looks at you, seems like he’s holding his breath, you look back at Ryan. “That’s really nice of you but I’m not really interested right now. But thank you.” Ryan and Joel’s eyes both go wide but Ryan looks shocked, and Joel looks pleased. You hear a chuckle from Ryan’s table of dudes, but they’ve all looked away at this point. Ryan puts on a fake smile, but his eyes look filled with anger. “No problem, sweetheart, you have a good night.” His hand grips the table hard and then let’s go to walk back to his table, punching one of his friends in the arm that laughed at him and mumbles something to the group.

You look back to the table and Tommy and Maria are grinning at you. “What?” you say looking at them. But Joel speaks up first, “Nothin’, don’t mind them. You two,” scowling at Tommy and Maria, “mind your business.” Tommy and Maria exchange a look and small smiles as they go back to talking about something to do with the town council. And you look at Joel, a small smile on your lips, thankful that he took the attention away from you. He waits till Tommy and Maria aren’t paying attention, he looks to you and gives you a subtle wink, bringing his drink back to his lips. Your stomach flips and you hope you don’t look too flustered. For the rest of the evening, Joel never takes his arm off the back of your chair.

At the end of that third drink, you decide it’s time to go home. This being one of the nicest nights you’ve had since you arrived, spending time with your most favorite people and actually seeing Joel smile and laugh in between his eyerolls and sighs. You trot off to the bathroom before leaving and as you walk back, you catch Ryan scowling at you. It appears he’s had a bit too much to drink at this point. Loudly he speaks to his table saying, “I didn’t want the fat bitch anyway, was just curious what it would feel like, don’t even know how she keeps that weight on.” A couple of the friends at his table laugh, two others look uncomfortable, one man, a few years older than the rest, smacks Ryan on the shoulder, admonishing his behavior. Then you look around, stopped in your tracks and realize that everyone is looking at you, at your body. And you know that almost everyone heard what that asshole had to say. It’s not his words that hurt, it’s the attention they bring to you, the questioning looks from everyone else that make tears prick at your eyes.

Joel is already walking over to you, Tommy, close behind. Joel touches your arm and speaks lowly, “You good?” You nod, eyelids fluttering to try and keep your tears at bay. He looks up at Ryan, but you whisper to him, quiet but firm, “Joel, don’t. It’s not worth it.” Joel exhales out his nose, clearly fuming. But he nods and starts to walk you out the door, not before giving Tommy a look, silently asking him to handle it with Ryan. Maria comes up to your side linking her fingers with yours, Joel still has a steady arm around your shoulder. You turn your head into Maria’s shoulder as your tears start to fall. Maria says, “I got it from here Joel.” He looks like he might protest but he lets you go. Watching as Maria walks you toward your apartment.

By the time you get home, Maria makes you some sleepy time tea, insisting on talking a bit more before leaving you on your own. You’ve had this conversation before, with others. You’ve exhausted this topic over the course of your life, Before and After. But now, with Maria’s deep and beautiful eyes, your new friend, looking at you, you know she’s genuinely there for you. So, you start explaining how ever since puberty you’ve always been a larger person. Bigger than most of your friends. Plush, fat, curvy, plus size, however you want to put it. Men pointing it out to you, women much smaller than you telling you they admire you. Losing a tiny bit of weight and having a girlfriend call you skinny. You haven’t been “skinny” since you were fucking 10 years old. And now, at the end of the world, where people are starving, and you have to move your body to survive, you still have extra weight. It became something that kept people from trusting you. Thinking you stole food, or you didn’t do your part. You thought Jackson might be different. But tonight, all those feelings come back. And even though you love your body, and had lovers over the years, men and women, who showed you how much they liked your body and the effect it had on them, you still feel inadequate or that people may find you unattractive. You’re not proud that those thoughts still get to you, but they do.

When you feel you’ve gotten it all out, you take your glasses off and put your head down on the table next to your cup of tea and start laughing. Maria puts a hand on your head in it a comforting pet. And you raise back up. “Well, now you know this about me. It’s funny, I’ve survived over 20 years of a zombie apocalypse and I’m still fucking struggling with body image issues. Jesus.” Maria smiles at you now. A soft, sweet smile. She knows there’s nothing to say. There never is. This is a reality for you, and you just need to talk it out with someone you trust, and damn you really do trust Maria. She leaves you with a hug by the door and you assuring her, you’ll be fine to do patrol tomorrow, “Getting out might actually be good for me.” You finally go to bed that night thinking of Joel, the wink, his arm on your chair, that he seems to detest Ryan even more than you do. It makes you smile, and you can’t help but hope Joel doesn’t see you the same way Ryan does. You know Joel would never behave like Ryan but it’s a fact that people have their preferences. And maybe that’s why Joel pushed you away in the first place. Fuck. Well, now you’re not nervous for patrol, you just want to get through the fucking day.

Taglist: @somedayheaven @guelyury @elegantduckturtle @indiegirlunited @cheekychaos28 @ghostofzion @harriedandharassed @missladym1981 @littlemisspascal

[livelaughlovesubs]

OK

So

idk how to phrase this ask

but you’re good words, Nini!!!

Soooooo I thought of this right in the middle of my gym session when I was listening to Deja Vu by Olivia Rodrigo and I thought:

What about a scenario where reader is like reading a self insert with a sentient character and when reader was done or bored with that particular character, they moved onto a different story with a different character but the same trope!

and like, obviously, the first character is sentient and obsessive(just how we like them!!) and so obviously, they know what reader’s been cheating on them!

So obviously, character must teach reader a lesson! Character must be sure to show just how much they love reader to make sure that reader will never leave them again!!!

omg I just realized just how repetitive I am. This is why I don’t write a lot!!!

Haha, thank you for saying I’m good words :] anyway, I assume we are playing an otome game? Ngl, this kinda reminds me of Monica

Yandere!Game!character x player!reader

: ～{..I love you, y/n!}～

You read the text on the screen of your device, then scanned through the options you had.

⇒ [..I love you too!!]

⇒ [..I’m sorry…]

⇒ [..W-what…?]

Typical, the same answers you’ve seen from other otome games. Since you wanted to clear his route, you didn’t think twice before clicking the first option.

⇒ [..I love you too!!]

: ～{..really? I’m so happy! Let’s stay together forever!]～

The character then hugged the MC, about to kiss them when the screen turned black. What followed were the credits, along with an achievement. You rubbed your eyes, it was already half past eleven. There was a single route left for you to finish until you’ve completed the game completely. Why you were doing this instead of sleeping? Must be the perfectionist screaming inside you, or because there was a hidden route that unlocks after finishing all the other ones. Your friend spoiled you that the last, hidden character was totally your Typ, so you wanted to do their route.

“Alright, time to finish this.” You groaned, stretching your arms before clicking onto the last love-interest.

⇒ [Are you sure you want to leave the current stage?]

⇒ [yes]

⇒ [Are you sure you want to leave the current stage?]

⇒ [yes]

⇒ [Are you really sure you want to leave the current stage?]

“What the fuck?” You frowned, why did the developers had to ask this so often? Did players complain about it?

⇒ [Are you really sure you want to leave the current stage?]

⇒ [yes]

⇒ [Are you really sure you want to leave the current stage?]

⇒ [yes]

Loading…

Please don’t leave the game

“Finally.” You began to groan, this was annoying.

Loading complete

Please don’t leave me

“Wait, what is this smaller text?” You tried to read it when it disappeared, notifying you that the download was done. Which is why you expected to see the character you clicked on, but it was still the same one as before. “What the- ugh, is it a bug?” The clicking of the ‘back’ button echoed through the room, and soon you got fed up with it. Right before you pressed the restart button, a text from the character caught your eyes.

: ～{..Please don’t leave me}～

“Isn’t this the same text as that smaller one?” You commented, wondering why you were even talking to yourself. To have some made up company, maybe. Suddenly that one text turned into a series of begs and demands, and you read them with fascination.

: 〜{..You said you love me,}

: 〜{..we promised to stay together forever.}〜

: 〜{..Don’t love anyone else, for me, please.}〜

: 〜{..I know we are not the same, I’m serious.}〜

: 〜{..I still love you}〜

: 〜{..I still want to be with you}〜

“Breaking the fourth wall? That’s a smart move, it certainly makes the character look more real.” Right after you said that, the character bombed you with more speech bubbles.

: 〜{..Don’t ignore me, y/n.}〜

: 〜{..Was it fun toying with my feelings?}〜

: 〜{..You must think I’m not real,}

: 〜{..but I assure you I am.}〜

: 〜{..Please come back, that wasn’t a threat,}

: 〜{..I know you are still there, I can see it.}〜

Wait. See? This game had access to your camera? Fuck, did you allow them to? You couldn’t remember, but that the character is saying something like this, it was low-key giving you the chills.

: 〜{..You don’t need the others, right? You have me.}〜

They continued to pester your game, blabbering on and off about how they loved you. It was obsessive, possessive even. At this point you weren’t even interested in this Easter egg anymore, rather you were weirded out. “Dammit, gotta turn it off.” As if he could hear you as well, the text immediately changed.

: 〜{..Don’t do that, there will be consequences otherwise.}〜

The expression they had were the same as the ones you were used to, but their writing style became more unique. You scoffed to yourself, “what consequences? This is ridiculous, it’s just a game!” Then the loading screen appeared again, and the text said:

⇒ [do you really want to delete all your files?]

“What?!” You shouted, spamming the ‘no’ button, “of course not! All my progress…! It took seven hours to get here!” But to your dismay, it didn’t work, all of it was gone the moment you could access your game again. “No way, what-”

: 〜{..I told you there would be consequences.}〜

: 〜{..I’m sorry y/n, but please understand me,}

: 〜{..I’m a very jealous person.}

After reading that, you whispered under your breath, “you aren’t even a person, shut up.” Then you bawled your hands into fists and yelled, “those damn developers, this shitty bug ruined all my efforts!” You had to calm yourself before glancing at the screen again, pouting as you logged out.

: 〜{..Wait, y/n! Don’t leave- I beg you!}〜

: 〜{..I’ll do anything-}〜

“Nah, I won’t touch that fucking game again.” You snarled, then looked at the clock. It was past twelve already, a new day began. “Since I’m not sleepy yet I guess I’ll just do my dailies.” That was so strange, the way that character talked to you felt so real. At first it gave you a scare, tonight you won’t be able to sleep well. Then you closed that app, undecided about whether you should delete it or let it be.

For now you’ll just log into your other games, those aren’t that buggy at least. When you logged in, you were met with multiple red dots, telling you to do this and that. You when into the quest menu, just to see a quest you’ve never seen before. It told you to go into your character menu and talk with the character. Singular, not plural. One character only? Did you have to listen to their voicelines?

“Must be a new one.” You guessed and followed the instructions, when someone, something familiar appeared on your device. “W-what?!” It was the character from the game you just closed, the one that annoyed the shit out of you. “What the fuck are you doing here!” Shivers run down your spine, how was he in this game? This isn’t funny, did your device caught some kind of virus? And, why was he staring at you like that?

: 〜{..Hello, y/n.}〜

: 〜{..I hope you didn’t forget about me already,}

: 〜{..I begged and begged but you didn’t come back.}〜

: 〜{..I only saw black, there was nothing,

: 〜{..the world is so empty when you aren’t around.}〜

: 〜{..I promised you we’ll be together forever,}

: 〜{..now it’s your turn to keep the promise.}〜

: 〜{..I love you.}〜

“What the fuck, you…! Wait, dammit!!” Before you got to do anything at all, the game you wanted to play closed itself. On the other hand the otome game you just played opened, and once again the first character you saw was them.

: 〜{..Welcome back, y/n.}〜

[igotanidea]

Cheater : Jason Todd x fem!reader

Here's what you have been waiting for....

Warnigs: smut - MINORS DNI, cheating (duh), heavy swearing, threats, fight, hearbreak, no happy ending.

***

“Hello, baby” his silent whisper and hot breath on her face made her feel at home in his arms.

“Mmm, hello” she muttered, turning around to take him in. For someone so bruised and tired, coming straight from the patrol, Jason was surprisingly breathtaking. “Sore much?” the girl planted a chaste kiss on his lips, but he grabbed her waist and made her stay connected a bit longer, moving hands under her sleeping T-shirt in circular motions “Jason!” she scoffed when he switched positions to that she was pinned beneath him, forced to look straight into his eyes, not that she was complaining.

“Not more than usual” he smirked “And I think I still got some power in me if you are up for a bit of work.”

“Keep talking.” She titled her head, giving him more access to her skin. An opportunity he was more than willing to take.

“The things I want to do to you, baby….” He trailed kissing her skin, leaving scorching trails of his mouth alongside. “is not how a good girl should behave.”

“I am dating a vigilante, I suppose I lost the “good girl” title a long time ago and …. Ah, Jace!”

„Feel good already?” she didn’t even blink and her shirt was off, exposed nipples and breasts begging for his attention.

“More….”

“Oh, I have much more for you. Just let me work on you, baby.” He kissed both of those little rose buds eliciting another moan, back arching to get closer to him, hands tangling in his hair and guiding his head lower. He laughed at her willingness and pulled her pants down, exposing her to him fully.

“No underwear?”

“Who in their sound mind sleep in underwear?” she gritted

“I see I’ve taught you well, love. Always be prepared.”

“Shut up and just….”

“What?” he moved down and started kissing along her calf and inner thigh “do you need my tongue or fingers, sugar? You want to be a bad girl? You gotta tell me exactly how you want me to take you.”

“Oh, fuck, Jace…” he was kissing so close to where she needed him and it was getting so hot she could barely withstand it, and yet craved more “I need your dick. Now.”

“As you wish.”

It was amazing how fast he was with tearing his own clothes off, getting naked and ready as he put his weight on her. Such a sweet, sweet weight, pressing her into the mattress of the bed.

“Jason....”

“I’m going in” he panted pushing through her walls and starting pulling in and out immediately “you good there?”

“Yes, yes, yes….” She chanted like some spell, clutching onto his bicep and shoulders, running fingernails on his muscles, whining and begging ‘So good…. “

“Are you close? He asked, even if her face twisted in pleasure, slightly open lips and those whines told him everything he needed to know. The fact was, seeing her like this was definitely doing things to him and he wasn’t sure how long he could last. He grabbed her legs hooking them around his waist, changing the angle, going deeper, stretching her, hitting just the right place, everytime.  “Come on, baby.” Words followed by nibbling on the soft spot on her neck ‘you make me feel so good. Just let yourself go, let me feel you on my cock. “ his soft whispers were the exact opposite of the speed and force with which he was snapping his hips into her. “Come on, babygirl.”

“Jason!” all that overstimulation pushed her into her climax with the intensity like never before. His name falling from her lips got him mesmerized when he rocked her thought it while fighting the overwhelming urge to just cum inside her. To paint her walls with his seed, to fully make her his.

But they talked about it many times before, none of them were ready for kids. Not with their vigilante lifestyle, crazy characters and emotional instability so barely second before explosion he pulled out, messing up the sheet instead of her body.

“One day I will claim you fully, baby” he panted, capturing her lips and kissing so gently so lovingly that if she wasn’t already spend she would initiate another round. “You are just perfect.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, Jaybird.”

***

“Making me breakfast?” a few hours later, in the early morning, Y/N woke up from the little nap she had and came right into the kitchen, lured by the delicious smell. “Eggs?”

“Nah, I know you don’t like eating them 6 times a week. I made you pancakes instead.”

“Really?” she crossed the floor to kiss him “why so generous all of a sudden? What did you do, Jason?" she raised an eyebrow and smiled at him lovingly.

“What I can say? I like to spoil my girl. And if that gets me another kiss of yours ….”

“I’ll say my thanks after I taste ….”

“How about I give you a taste of something better?” he muttered moving closer to her, whispering in her ear, but she just laughed and took a step back.

“Take it easy tiger. If you think I can’t see all those bruises and cuts of yours, you are wrong. Can’t let you overexercise yourself. Besides, do you remember that we were invited by Babs and Dick for a game night?”

“Exactly. Night.” he rolled his eyes “And that means we have a whole day for ourselves and ….”

“And once we start we won’t ever stop going. So I need to halt you on getting your hands on me. At least for today. “ she smirked “Now. Give me my breakfast and go take a shower, cause baby, I hate to break it to you, but you stink.”

“Stink?” he scoffed “I smell like an alpha male. Don’t tell me it doesn’t turn you on..” he flexed his muscles, showing off.

“Oh, hell no! Now please stop showing your armpits!” she squealed and covered her nose “GO!” her happy laugh followed him on the way to the bathroom.

***

Jason todd was a skilled, careful vigilante and a perfectionist with a well-thought plan. He used to keep his walls up for so long, until on one of the patrols he met Y/N, who tear them all down. She was making him happy and loved and, however crazy that sounded, safe. He was not afraid to be open with her.

And this was about to become his undoing.

While he was absentmindedly showering, his phone left on the kitchen counter started buzzing from all the texts and notifications.

***

Y/N was the person who never stuck her nose into anyone else business, respecting boundaries and privacy. A few years spend with Jay only amplified that trait of hers since she never pushed him to do anything he would not like, be it physical or emotional vulnerability. So why did she feel the sudden urge, the tingling to sneak a peek at Jason’s phone screen? Was it an instinct? Was that just a curiosity? She wasn’t sure, but what she saw froze her to the core.

And much to her embarrassment it got her digging deeper.

***

She kept the pose for the rest of the day, acting like her normal self, hiding her feelings deep inside and giving her boyfriend an opportunity to come clean.

He didn’t.

And so they left for meeting with the other bats and co. in perfect moods.

Or at least it seemed so.

***

The atmosphere started rolling downhill the second the girls started playing that silly game with silly cards with silly questions.

"Would you ever be able to forgive your boyfriend for cheating?" Babs picked up the first card from the pile and turned towards Y/N.

"I'm sorry, what is this game about again?" the girl frowned, heat and pain forming in her chest.

"It's simple truth or dare." Stephanie grinned, patting her shoulder reassuringly "don't stress too much."

"Extreme truth or dare I see..."

"Come on, Y/n, answer it. After all it's all hypothetical, right?"

"Mhm, right, it's all hypothetical" Y/N muttered, her eyes travelling to the other side of the room, focusing on Jason, who was just casually talking to Dick, unaware of the fact that she knew. Just leaning on the doorframe, beer in hands, that characteristic smirk on his face. Normally she would smile at the view, thinking how lucky she got, but now, now she wanted to wipe that freaking expression off his face. Preferably with the bleach.

Who would have thought that a night game with friends that was supposed to be fun would turn out like this.

“Please remind me whose idea it was to play it again?” she scoffed crossing her arms defensively, body language not lying. The hell she was going to answer that question.

“It was mine!”Dick grinned from the other side of the room, approaching the girls and sting by Barbara, Jason following right after him taking a spot next to Y/N. “You ladies are having fun?”

“Not really” Stephanie pouted “Y/N is a party pooper.”

“Really?” Jason smirked, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her temple, almost making her mop it down “What did she do this time?”

“She refused to answer the question” Cass explained in her soft voice “Maybe we shouldn’t….” Orphan was the most skilled in reading body language and if anyone was to start suspecting something it was definitely her.

“What was it?” Dick reached toward the card and read the sentence out loud “Would you ever be able to forgive your boyfriend for cheating. Oh my god!” he laughed looking at his younger brother “I think someone’s in trouble here, Jaybird.”

That was the breaking point for Y/N. She simply could not take it anymore.

“If you’ll excuse me…” she stood up an without another word of explanation run towards the bathroom. Her surprised friends watched her escape and then their shocked and accusatory gazes landed on Jason.

“All right, fine, stop it! I’ll go check on her! Geez!” he scoffed getting up, becoming worried and scared for her on the inside.  

***

 “Y/N?” he came into the spacious bathroom, spotting the girl in front of the mirror with fingers clenched on the sink, head hanging low and breathing heavily. “Baby?”

“Don’t you dare calling me that!” she yelled turning around “you asshole!”

“Y/n? hey, what…” only by miracle he dodged the  hairbrush flying his direction.

“You stupid son of a bitch!”

“I don’t under….”

“You slept with her!”

“What?” his eyes grew wide. Oh, fuck.

“You slept with her and then you came back to me to make me fucking pancakes!?”

“Y/n…..”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Please let me explain….” He took a step forward, but she moved out of his reach, wriggling like a caged animal.

“Oh no, you.I swear if you take one more step towards me I will throw a razor at you!"

"You really do have to make a scene at Dickhead's place, do you?" he hissed, his eyes turning black from restrained anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my behavior is gonna make you look bad in front of our friends. Maybe I should even apologize for being the reason you cheated!"

"Stop fucking screaming at me! You could have just waited till we get home!"

"Be thankful I did not, Jason. I swear Dick, Babs, Cass and Steph presence outside is the only thing keeping me from castrating you!"

"Shut up!" he yelled and took a step forward, pushing her into a wall and covering her mouth "AUCH! Fuck, did you just bit me?!"

"I will cut your fingers off if you touch me again!"she reached for the manicure scissors and put them in front of herself in a defensive manner "and from what I get, you like when the girl is loud, don't you?Her moans on that recording she sent you are pretty much the proof of it.”

“Her what now?!”

“Ah, Jason. More, please, you feel so good” Y/n whined, trying to copy the way the other girl sounded and fuck, she was so hot at that moment with her eyes widened in fury, hair messed up becasue of the fight and lips red and swollen. It was the worst timing ever, but Jason found himself getting harder. “WHO EVEN DOES THAT? Was this some sort of your twisted sexual fantasy?! Did it turn you on?!"

"IT DID! The same way it did with you under me and ..."

"You fuck head!” she threw the scissors away and started hitting his chest with her fist, again and again and again.

“If you could just listen to me!"

"Of course, do you have any recording of yourself you send to her?! Whispering her name while you were jacking off?! Probably in our bed!? Probably with me next door or ....." she stopped, her eyes grew even wider, if that was even possible "Oh my god...." she turned away towards the sink, grabbing her stomach, trying to catch her breath like a fish out of water "I'm gonna be sick....."

"Fuck, Listen to me! It did not mean anything! ”

“It means everything for me!” she sobbed, all the anger slowly being replaced by feeling of betrayal and only now he realized how bad he fucked up “you wanted to wait till we get intimate, and fuck I gave both space and time, never pushing on your boundaries! FUCK JASON! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“You do realize that the rest can hear us, right?”

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! IN FACT, LET THEM KNOW! Let them know what their friend/brother did. How many times did that happen?”

“Don’t ….” He shook his head avoiding her eyes

“How. Many. Times. Jason. Do not make me repeat myself!”

“Just a couple.”

“JUST a couple?!” she screamed, but it was the final straw. Her brain shut down, unable to process all that revelation. All the energy left her system and he was just standing in the middle of the bathroom, completely quiet staring into the space gazeless.   

“I made a mistake. I’m sorry.” he pleaded, taking her by surprise, grabbing her hand. She did not react at first and he took the chance to kiss her on the lips, but that actually did bring her back to reality when she pushed him away, harder and stronger than ever before.

“You motherfucker! You wanted to beat your brother in the numbers or what?"

"Now you are bringing Grayson into this?! He's a dog! And you'd better not cross the line of comparing him to me!"

"You're right" she smiled wildly, mockingly "you two are nothing alike. you wanna know why? Because once he settled with Babs he let go of that manwhore attitude. Apparently it worked the other way round for you, you ....."

She did not manage to finish that sentence because of the harsh grip on her throat.

"LET GO OF ME!"

***

"Ok, that is enough." Dick spoke since obviously everyone heard that banter not sure if they should react or not. Jason and Y/N never thought before and now, with the hot-headedness they both had it was weird, disturbing and uncomfortable. "We gotta do something."

"If you value your life, you'd better stay here and ...." Steph started but was cut of by a loud thump and Y/N's muffled scream

"That's it, I'm going in!" he tried to open the door, but it turned out Jason was smart (or stupid, depending on the interpretation) enough to lock them "Y/n?" Dick knocked at the wood fervently "are you all right there?! Say something."

'I'm... I'm fine Dick. Go back to girls, we just need to settle something with Jason"

"It does not sound like ....."

"Just mind your own business, Dickhead!" Jason yelled

***

"God, Y/n, I'm sorry" Todd looked at his hands, startled. He could have chocked her. Just because of his anger. "Please, I...."

Was she better than me?” Y/N asked, massaging her throat where re marks were to start bruising soon. Tears gathering in her eyes. How many times can a broken heart break? Was million pieces not enough?

“What?”

“Was she better? Giving you an oral? Letting you fuck her in all those crazy positions I never could? Making you cum faster, harder? Making you feel like a man?”

“No. Of course not. It’s only you and …..”

“Then why, Jason?” her voice was so broken it made his heart shutter. God, what the hell was he thinking? He couldn’t even blame it on Lazarus water or the post-patrol blurry mind and adrenaline. No, it was fully his fault. His responsibility. She trusted him and he broke her into pieces he wasn’t sure he could pick up together again. But he had to try. He just had to try.

“I… I don’t know.” he looked at the floor, felling wetness in his eyes as well.

“Were you bored with me? Was I too much to handle? If you wanted a sex toy ….”

“Please, don’t say that.” He begged falling onto his knees next to her and hugging her legs, to which she surprisingly did not object. “Please, there’s gotta be something I can do to make it up to you…. I’ll do anything, just please, forgive me. Just one more chance.”

“Do you want to know what answer I would give for that question back there?” she was unimpressed by those theatrics he was pulling. Of course Y/N knew he was true in his words, that he was sorry. She only wondered whether it was because he cheated or because his secret found the way into daylight.

“No, baby, please don’t leave me. Not again, I …..” a single tear fell from his eye at the mere of thought of losing her.

“Oh, but you won’t be alone. You got your, wait what was the nickname in your phone? Oh, right, sugarbaby. God I was so stupid for trusting you! Nevermind. Now, you’ll be able to hear her scream your name and writhe underneath you without having any strings attached....

"No, baby, don't throw what we have away."

"We have nothing. Not anymore." her tone was so cold it could freeze the ocean "I despise you, Jason Todd.”

She walked right past through him, leaving him on the cold floor. Sooner or later he would have to get up and get out, dealing with judging looks and harsh words. And maybe some physical fight with Dick. But for now, he could not move a single muscle, just leaning on the bath and hiding his face in hands. She was right, he was a complete fuckup.

***

"Jason called again." Babs announced approaching the coach, Y/N was sitting on. Cass and Steph respectively on her left and right side hugging their friend. The girls jointly decided it would be better for Y/N to stay in their apartment for some time since Jason wouldn't dare invading her here.

"What did you tell him?" Y/N sighed, laying her red swollen eyes on the red head.

"The same thing as I did the previous 50 times he called. To fuck off and leave you alone. You sure you don't want Dick to...."

"No, I don't. This would turn into a bloodbath. I am heartbroken but it doesn't mean I want to have any death on my conscience."

"Dick would be more than happy to have that. He is enraged on your behalf. You know what he said to me after learning what happened?

"No. What?"

"Y/N is a genuinely nice person. She will forget at forgive after some time. But I'm her friend. I get to hold the grudge for her and protect her."

"He did say that?"

"Yes." Babs nodded "And I think I speak for all of us when I say that we second that approach." Cass and Steph nodded

“I know it does not seem like it now, but you’re gonna be fine” Steph assured, rubbing Y/N's shoulders

“I know.” the girl sobbed “it just hurts so bad.”

“Jason is a ….” Steph started but before she could find a proper word Cass interrupted her

“We’re for you, Y/n. whatever you need, you can count on us.”

“Thank you girls.”

“Ice cream, anyone?” Steph grinned

“A bucket please. And the good ones ,not those low fat, low carb shit. If I'm gonna get comfort food might as well indulge myself.

No matter what, she was going to be fine .

@cherryinsalemverse @gone-batty-fics @justafanficsreader @arfrona @parkjammys @thatweirdwitchnextdoor

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 91

Besties i’m so fucking glad i don’t have that music video looming over my head anymore, like yeah i’m writing this on day 82 so it’s not ACTUALLY off of my chest yet but still. Oh right- the topic.

“So Elegant, So Vulgar” from School Life of Mutual Loving, by MarySutcliff

So this ones special! And the reason its special is also the reason I did it first! It was a bit hard to figure out, but if looking at the date of the collection of stories is correct, and putting it and putting it against other fics of the same nature, this chapter is the FIRST Soft Junkan Fic on AO3. If i’m wrong that’s my bad but I think the time of release for this one (which I can only speculate because I don’t know the best way to check)?

So it only seemed right to make something based off of it, for the culture! Though it wasn’t easy, this fic is a bit more . . . abstract? That’s probably an awful word to describe it as but I’m not good at this. The story switches perspective between several characters, in a way that pleases my brain as we loop between them, starting from Junko and ending at Junko. Now the format and the very internal way this fic was written posed the question of how the hell I was supposed to visualize it. Eventually I just tried to mimic the way the story was formatted, every character layered on top of eachother with Junko and Mikan exclusively in the center.

It’s really hard to describe but you can probably just look at it and see what I mean?

As for the fic itself! 

It’s nice! I very unfortunately don’t have a lot to say beyond paying my respects for it’s place in Junkan History, and it’s extremely pleasing and unique format. Admittedly I do find the dialogue, both internal and external, a bit, jarring? Nothing that truly detracts from the piece, just feels off in a way that isn’t there with some of this author’s other stories. 

I won’t be complaining though! I’m a gal who struggles to really critically chip into the things she takes in, I prefer to just enjoy what I’m given despite it’s flaws. I don’t blindly enjoy everything of course, there are pieces of media i either don’t feel positively on (or anything on), and even some pieces that truly bring out the worst in me. I am a woman who holds deep burning angry and spite inside of her, I just choose to try and not make it anyones problem but my own!~ Simply put while I may air small issues here and there, the coming days of fic adaptations will be more about showing my love for the work that I’ve read dozens of times and have helped somewhat satiate my constant need for Junkan, rather than picking apart everything that may or may not be wrong with them, very sorry if ya’ll were looking for something like that!~ Hopefully my happy go lucky lifestyle will suffice in its stead!

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[shakespearean-dream]

last of the big five yall!!!!

happy late fourth of july! remember to keep boycotting, speak out and listen to palestinians, the people of congo, native americans, queer/trans people and women currently being oppressed this independence day because america fucking sucks!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥

here are a couple good places to donate! please remember to do your own research and take care of each other, it’s getting scary out here.

ohhhh nimdok, where to start with you….

i have been dreading doing him because he pisses me off so bad but i actually had some decent fun with him :D. designing him and branching out farther away from his canon self was nice, but im not touching his backstory or personality really, that stays about the same for me in my head.

speaking of whichhh! like benny, i understand how the game makers had a short amount of time to fit an entire character arc of an old man undoing his deeply internalized racism/xenophobia/ableism in a singular short scenario, but unlike benny i actually somehow like his better?? nimdok had a lot more to get over (well not saying being a dickhead murderer isn’t a lot but 😭) and i enjoyed seeing him actually help out the people he would’ve previously turned in. it still feels a little hollow/unrealistic because again, he’s been like this his whole life, but considering how much AM takes him away from the group to (most likely) psychologically torture him for his actions he’s probably had a bit of a revelation.

doing his scenario was unfortunately funny at times because of the strange way we had to go about redeeming him with the golem guy😭giving him a smooch caught me off guard but ykw? i’ll take it for being able to kill mengele like immediately afterward. also speaking of whichhhh…

i would go into more detail about nimdok and mengeles relationship to give it some depth because god i love me some queers, but that is??? a real fucking guy???? a real life monster???? im less than comfortable picturing the fucker in my mind, much less giving him depth with a character who i also don’t like. like why ship ur essentially OC with a REAL LIFE N/AZI??? just another one of the reasons harlan elision creeps me out. (if that just pissed you off google search him s/a-ing 2 people, marrying a 19 year old when he was in his 40s and defending a child r/apist i really don’t feel like arguing with you. the guy was a horrible fucking person and he makes me sick, i just like this franchise.)

i cannot cough up anymore thoughts about this fella pls forgive me; these past couple days have been rough on my 3 brain cells. AM will for sure be next and after that fully rendered/decked out full bodies are in order!! so look out for that:]]]] i may also start posting some art fight things since i was just complaining about the lag a post or so ago☺️ jk ily artfight. team seafoam lets goo

ok i love u guys!!! if u have any requests for me drop a comment or an ask, and thank you so much for the continued support on my art❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ lots of links on this post but one more quick reminder to take a look at my commission page if you’d like!!! yolanda is still in the shop because they cannot figure out what’s wrong with her :(

have a good night friends 🫶

[olympiansowl]

I need people to stop this obsession with the fucking forced marriage plot between Miriel and Pharazon. Idk guys but it doesn’t really seem okay to me that they gave women power and all, and people are there like “but the forced marriage…” as if Miriel hasn’t been through enough shit already. Technically, they cannot adapt it since it’s a Silmarillion storyline and it isn’t on the books they have the rights to. Some people are looking more haters of Miriel than fans bc what do you mean you won’t complain about the treatment her character is getting? What do you mean that you will want a forced marriage plot but refuse to say to Amazon a simple “change her fate” ? And believe me, they can change her fate. They just did it with Galadriel, Durin III, Durin IV, Sauron and Elendil…

I don’t know if it’s a Brazilian thing, but when we don’t like things on shows, soap operas or whatever, we are vocal about it. And when we like a character, we make sure the people behind it knows about it. And it usually works for us. People used to care for what the audience thinks about something, there are shows out there that have the whole right to the books and yet change every single thing. Also, I’m pretty sure they care about what the audience thinks since this season was a mix between three plots from other characters in one of the show. They changed Durin’s death, which may cause the other Durin to also die next season. Durin III was supposed to die on third age and the balrog should be in Moria, as everyone pretty much knows by now. Galadriel was supposed to be a mother and Celeborn was supposed to be at Eregion. They changed fates. They placed a character that wasn’t on middle earth at second age to be there and have a whole different plot. Believe me, they can change Miriel’s fate. But for this to happen, her fans should at least be more vocal about the treatment she’s getting. Her scenes are being cut, she is always suffering, they don’t show her making the plans or the decisions…we have to guess everything. Like I’m sorry but we have characters that literally helped bring back the devil and even they had moments of happiness this season. And yes, I see it as a disrespect towards the character because I’ve seen this film before and I’m sure you guys have too. The female characters who’s always collecting trauma but they forget those traumas as if it never impacted her or as if she’s never been through it. And the character doesn’t stop suffering and doesn’t have a single happy moment in her life. We don’t see her saying anything more about her father and guys…she’s living on his tower. Pharazon made her live on the tower that her father died days before! The tower he spent the rest of his days (years actually since he lived 220 years) in grief over the city. How did it affect her? We don’t see why she decided to say behind, Cynthia had to clarify it. She had to clarify that the civil war isn’t over, that Miriel is going to fight back and that she algo gave the Narsil to Elendil to start a sort of revolution.

That being said, I am dying to know why the fans aren’t making much noise? Sorry, but you don’t change things like that by being quiet. “Oh I want her to kiss Elendil” yeah so either she survives and/or doesn’t marry Pharazon or they’re going to kiss on her last breath.

The series has little to do with the Silmarillion and even when we consider the books they have the right to, not even the timeline is being followed when we think about Numenor or the dwarves…and, as I said before, it’s all in the appendix. It’s no big deal to let her live.

“Oh but what about Elendil? How will he become King?”

Numenor will be swallowed by the sea. Miriel was the rightful heir to the throne of Numenor, not Arnor since Arnor is something that will be built after the fall of Numenor. If they keep her alive, it wouldn’t change the narrative because they would probably get married and rule together. His heir would still be Isildur because at the time pace the series is setting, it’s possible that we won’t even see the kingdoms in exile at their prime.

“Oh but what about children if they get married?”

We’re talking about a show that forgot the existence of Celebrian, who is the daughter of Galadriel and Celeborn, future wife of Elrond and mother of his children, to fit the narrative they constructed to Galadriel. It won’t be a big deal for Miriel to not have children since she never got one in the books that talk about her marriage (mostly forced, with one version that was willingly) to Pharazon. Also, they used the “well, it wasn’t stated that Gandalf wasn’t on middle earth during this time…” excuse so they can pretty much use the “it wasn’t stated that she died” considering that:

1 - It’s not on the appendix, not in lotr or hobbit.

2 - No body, no crime.

3 - They created a whole sea creature trial for that woman. They made an eagle appear on her coronation. Those eagles are known for saving people, as we can recall. And the sea creature pretty much saved her. So all of this and that girl can’t get out of this city alive? BE SO FR

And now, to finish this, I want y’all to reflect a little bit on which characters do you really like and if you really like the shipp? I mean, I’ve been a shipper since forever and when we like a couple, we usually want them to end up together and well. Do not use the “but it’s already on the books” because, guys…they literally killed off a character that was supposed to die in third age, made a very delightful dynamic between Galadriel/Halbrand (Sauron), erased her daughter, made some characters have the plot destined to their parents (Pharazon, Miriel, Elendil…) and they also created children for characters like Pharazon, who never had children, and Elendil got a daughter that he also never had. They made the gods answer Tar Palantir, made Galadriel help Sauron and be deceived by him, made Galadriel connected to the plot of Numenor and now you guys want to tell me that they cannot change her death? Like, if you guys like her character and this couple, y’all need to really show it to them. To go on the posts and say things about how amazing she is, how you wanted them to change her fate, how it would be amazing to see them (Miriel and Elendil) rule together in Arnor since they’re fighting to change Numenor’s fate and to save the people…it’s not a very difficult task. And I’m gonna say it as someone that has been a part of a lot of fandoms: they won’t change it if they don’t see a commotion. They changed this season to more “book accurate but not really” thing because of the haters. I’m pretty sure there’s this show that they changed the main couple to another because the fans wanted them to be together. And in the books, they didn’t end up together.

So yeah, fight and say something.

[bxriles]

nesta stans are so annoying. you all complain that she was “abused” by going to the HoW but she would be dead in a ditch somewhere without feyre intervening. get over it feyre was right you just won’t admit it

I am about to be the biggest dick right now because BRUH. I need you to be so for fucking real.

“ShE wOuLd Be DeAd In A dItcH”

My brother in Christ, with all disrespect intended, please shut the fuck up. My GOD. Nesta, a character who has been HORRIFICALLY traumatized, decides to cope by drinking, gambling, and having one night stands, and that means she was going to end up dead in a ditch?? You would be SHOCKED to hear how most people deal with their trauma. You would be SHOCKED to know how uncommon it is to lock a person up because someone else doesn’t like the way that person is coping.

(Disclaimer since you people have the reading comprehension of a fucking goldfish: I know some people do get locked up when they’ve been coping poorly for too long. That is not the majority of people though and you fucking know it. If you got locked up against your will for drinking a bit too much and were happy about it, GREAT. But I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that is the minority of people. And yeah, I am downplaying Nesta’s drinking because it’s not like she was guzzling liquor every second of every day and passing out on streets out in Velaris for everyone to think she’s a homeless drug addict and it’s not like she was having physical withdrawal from lack of alcohol. It’s also not like she was drunk every single time she saw one of her sisters or at family events like Winter Solstice. She was just partying hard. Not saying it’s great behavior. It’s not, but I also don’t care because I AM NOT THE PURITY POLICE.)

Why is it so hard for you people to admit that if you hate Tamlin for locking Feyre up then that means you need to AT LEAST be critical of Feyre for locking Nesta up? And before you say Feyre had her reasons, SO DID TAMLIN. I’m not saying Tamlin was right to lock Feyre up, but he had his reasons just like Feyre did. They both fucked up. I don’t know why that is so fucking hard for you people to grasp.

ALSO. CASSIAN LITERALLY SLAUGHTERED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE AFTER HIS MOTHER DIED. BE SO FOR FUCKING REAL WITH ME WHEN YOU BITCH ABOUT NESTA’S COPING MECHANISMS WHEN CASSIAN DID THAT.

[drowninglilys]

This might be a just me thing but when I see people who think Mikasa is a poorly written female character (she is NOT and I could give you a list of reasons that would be higher than Mount Everest why she is my favorite in the show), they don’t expand on it. They say she had wasted potential and move on and it’s usually male character fans or m/m shippers.

I have nothing against the two of them. I like a lot of m/m in attack on titan but I don’t like the ones that frame Mikasa as “the mom” “the villain” or “so done with her silly boys”. I wouldn’t say I’m a canon male character fan since I hc Armin as nonbinary or transfemme but Armin is still my second favorite so in a way I am.

My problem is that if you are going to say Mikasa has wasted potential, why don’t you elaborate why? Give me five different ways her story could end and an in depth analysis of what you could do better, besides complaining, slapping a lesbian label on her and doing nothing else. I beg you to delve deeper into her character and explore all facets of it.

she is my favorite, and yes at times she is underutilized and I don’t blame her fans for getting angry that she doesn’t have more to do. But in terms of fans, I think it has to stem from a lot of internalized misogyny and subtle racism the aot fandom has towards her. Because while yes, she is complex to understand, she is perhaps one of the most frustratingly beautiful characters I have come across in media.

I have so many hcs for her, so many ideas of how to elevate her story, and yet I see people pushing the same “tired girlboss” troupe that they have for years. Let her fuck up for once! Let female characters be insane or evil like the male characters are! She isn’t a girlboss! She’s a traumatized, elite solider who never had a proper childhood and is stuck in a codependent, abusive relationship with the same man who saved her from child traffickers! Writing Mikasa Ackerman as the “mom” in your m/m really tires me out because we all know that while she is protective, she preheats Trader Joe’s microwave frozen on a good day and has ice soup on a bad day. Yes, she is pretty, yes she is my sweetie honey pie angel bear, but she deserves your time as much as Eren does. I just wish there were more Mikasa blogs dedicated to this amazing female character. And I wish for a minute that people would pay attention to her more instead of just saying she’s “under utilized”. Because while she is, I need people to also understand they need to like female characters more.

The real Mikasa fans know she has autism and bpd but sadly those aren’t explored in fics.

Altough she is a lesbian to me and in a happy polycule with historia, Annie and Armin

[yojeongin]

happy together | m.l + l.dh [FINALE]

→husband!lee haechan x reader x bff!mark lee

genre: smut, angst, hurt, marriage au, love triangle, forbidden affair, friends to secret lovers, 90s/00's au

synopsis: with you by his side, mark's convinced things are finally going his way. his mind is set on his plans but haechan has plans of his own that also include you.

warning(s): ADULTS ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! toxic marriage, mutual infidelity, morally grey characters, jealousy, distrust, possessiveness, fingering, finger sucking, unprotected sex, public sex, oral sex, mild sadomasochism, hair pulling and scratching kink, accidental voyeurism, biting kink, pet names, lots of making out, manipulation, all parties purposely hurting each other, smoking, mentions of death.

wc: 29.5k+ || soundtrack || ao3

part 1 | epilogue

© 2023 YOJEONGIN all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works on other social media’s. reblogs are HIGHLY appreciated and preferred!

disclaimer: this is purely fictional; in no way am I condoning this behavior, trying to offend anyone, nor is it meant to place such image on the idol, these are ONLY characters. read at your own discretion.

an: legend says ella y yo by don omar y romeo santos was made after hyuck confronted mark about the affair lmfao. ik I said morally grey but... they border on evil atp kinda. the epilogue will be mark centered, there's no hyuck or happy together yn but mark's actions there will be consequences of what happens to him here. don't be confused it will be mark x reader just know epilogue yn isn't the same as happy together yn lol.

The leaves had long fallen by the time you and Mark continued what started that afternoon at the lake. From early October to late December with a few days left of 1999, all that’s left is the inquiry of how the year would end. 

But right now that didn’t matter to either you or him. Not when he had you perched on the counter. The cold ceramic against your ass makes you squeal with every single one of his thrusts. His upper half was bare. Shoulders littered with red marks from your fingernails and teeth prints elicited by his every stroke.

Mark felt swollen and warm inside you. Every movement made the both of you hyper-sensitive knowing an orgasm was soon to come. Your clothed upper half absorbing all his sweat and yours. Almost rasping his chest to a burning extent but he doesn’t complain, as long as you’re close. 

His breath tickled your neck; the hairs on your nape stood whenever his lips landed on the flesh; restraining themselves from juvenile markings. Your lips parted whenever his teeth nipped the skin. His tongue eased the slight pain from his actions to repeat them until you pulled his head by his hair, bringing his mouth to yours. 

With every tug of his hair, Mark’s pace increased and your whining became louder; pulling your hips closer to his. His hands were warm against you, perspiration making his clinging easy. Soft to the touch and in need of more. 

“Fuck I’m going to—“ he halted, feeling spurts come out in strings while you held him closer to you. “Yeah?” You ask, kissing the side of his face. Your insides coil in pleasure with every thrust along the friction of his pelvic bone against your clit. 

“I’m going to cum!” He exclaimed, holding even tighter to you. Every time you two found yourself in this situation he held you like this, scared that if he didn’t you’ll feel like he didn’t need you enough. Almost as a tactic to make you crave his touch and affection. 

You caressed his hair, hand dropping its grip to let your fingers cradle his head as he thrusts within you. Pistoning at a cruel pace but anything for either of you to reach your highs. Feeling him within your walls, touching every crevice with his cock. 

In a matter of seconds with a few more thrusts from him, you felt yourself come undone. Your moans mixed with whines that he swallowed when slotting his lips with yours, ensuing in a sloppy kiss. He came second, pulling out when he felt he couldn’t hold off anymore and ropes of cum latched themselves onto your thighs. 

Even after, he didn’t pull away from you. His left arm wrapped around your shoulder and his right around your waist, grasp as tight as before. Yours was loose on him, arms trembling while trying to cool off; Breathing heavily against his bare hot skin. 

It was then that it dawned upon you two that the buzzer and the home phone were ringing maniacally. You tried pushing him off to see who was this desperate to get in touch but he didn’t budge. His fingers only dug into you. Your eyes widened at his actions. This has become quite normal in the past months that you’re starting to accept it but not too fond of it. 

The home phone that stopped ringing and his own abandoned one beside the both of you began with anger rooted in. Mark swallowed the lump that had gotten stuck in his throat when seeing the caller ID. He threw you a glance, putting his finger up to his lips as advice. 

“Hyuck? What’s up, dude?” His hand pushed you closer to him. 

“Where the fuck are you guys at? I’ve been calling, ringing the buzzer, leaving voicemails, even paging you both, and not one response. What the fuck?” 

He paced around feeling defeated by the cold; phone to his ear gripping it without a fear that the plastic would pop off. You could hear him; so much anger in his voice, exasperation from the unknown. That desperation made your insides flip, satisfied with his frustrations. 

“Oh sorry, we’re in the room working on a piece. The music was all the way up.” Mark‘s fingers began caressing your skin, hoping you’d make a noise but nothing came out of you. He wasn’t lying about the music or the piece but that was long before you two had decided to act on any carnal instincts.

“Can one of you buzz me in? it’s fucking cold and there’s no one in the lobby. I couldn’t find my keys in the morning either.” His chattering teeth product of this horrid winter in the city. His words had made you realize the bathroom window was open and along the honking of cars outside, the biting breeze entered in swirls. Piercing your exposed skin the longer Mark held you there while working to remove the smell of sex. 

“Uh, yeah— yeah, give us a few secs to wash off. It got messy, ha.” He looked at you, but your eyes were nowhere insight. “Alright, plea—“ Mark didn’t let him finish. He ends the call, tossing the phone towards the wall and letting the already chipped-off paint smear itself more. 

He didn’t move; cooling down before he was to let you go and begin to clean off. Looking into the mirror behind you. Mark didn’t want to admit it but he was beginning to hate the act of sneaking around and fucking his best friend’s wife on the time windows he wasn’t home. It didn’t help that after a month, Hyuck was coming home earlier than usual, decreasing his time with you. 

Mark knew he shouldn’t have gotten attached. Even when he used the excuse of Hyuck being a complete shit to you; on a moral scale, Mark would be in the wrong too. Especially when you’re his childhood best friend’s wife.

But with all that moral guilt, Mark wasn’t sorry for being with you. He loved the feeling he got when sneaking around. He loves when he’s buried deep in you, hearing you moaning, and whining for his touch. He loved knowing you smiled and laughed because of him and not because of Hyuck who would only cause your mood to deteriorate. 

Yet with how much he loved all that, he hated that you were still Hyuck’s despite how much Mark told himself you were his. His piercing hatred-filled glare through the mirror and towards himself said it all. 

With one last push at his chest, Mark separated himself from you. He watched you clean off his dried cum in a rush, complaining about how much of a hassle it was. Pulling out body wipes to remove the lingering smell of sex and sweat off of you; leaving no sign behind for him to see. 

Mark watched you through glaring eyes. With every passing second he stood bare before you, his chest compressed. Feeling his emotions trying to suffocate him more and more. Reality did its best to make him see the bigger picture he’s avoiding. In addition he receives your exasperated hand motions and expressions for him to get out of the way and start getting cleaned up. 

The door was left ajar on your way out. He could see from the slit your jumpy steps to spray yourself with perfume after changing shirts and the house with a spray that sat on the kitchen counter after buzzing in Hyuck. 

When he saw you coming closer to the bathroom again, a sort of relief washed over him but it was taken away when you harshly closed the door. Depriving him of what you’re doing to make the apartment comfortable for him: your husband. 

He stood motionless for a second. The surrounding noise filled his understanding of what was behind that door. A timer was ticking in his head, the tapping of your shoes replaced the ticking. Every second became louder and his chest trembled knowing the outcome. 

Mark heard his breath, shaky and unstable while his eyes widened. The scent of air freshener crept in through the bottom slit of the door. Filling his nostrils the second he heard the front door shut; that loud boom shutting off the timer. 

He sighed heavily, eyes shutting tight while simultaneously lowering his head in frustration. The muffled words of the pair pushed him further into these deep feelings he was harboring. 

“God fucking damn it.” He curses, enticed by the sound of your voice calling Hyuck ‘honey’. His head turned towards the door, jaw clenching but that’s all he could really do. At the end of the day he was living under his roof and eating his food. 

He reached for a hand towel, wetting it to pay away the staining sweat and dry cum that lay on his thighs. Pent-up frustration still lingered, enough to toss it with too much force into the hamper as he put his clothes back on.

Mark leaned over the counter again, mimicking the position the both of you were in before his best friend’s arrival. He still felt your warmth, it always lingered around. His gaze fixates on itself through the mirror. 

That noticeable damage stress causes slapped on his face, muscles visibly tense. All his thoughts were the same lately: You. That's all he thought about. Whether it was positive or negative, you’re the only one crowding his thoughts.

He takes a hold of the doorknob, a soft sound emitting that causes Hyuck to turn towards the closed room. You don’t turn to it, fixated on flipping through the channels of the television. Your hand on your hip, and some small humming slipping along. 

He was aware of the hesitance of the one behind the door. Becoming alert, he raised himself from the couch. Enough to not draw attention from you, when he saw that the knob was turning and the door was now ajar; his hands took a hold of your waist pulling you towards him. 

While Mark looked at the happenings before him with disdain, you dismissed the older male. Laughing with your husband about him startling you; complaining about the lingering pain from his grasp. He held you tightly, back to his chest, and for once in the past years, he felt comfortable. 

For the past month or so things had been going too good to be true with Hyuck. At the beginning in which you and Mark began this rendezvous, you both continued to bicker and argue with hopes of completely ruining each other. As time progressed, you stopped inciting arguments with him. You still wanted his downfall to continue but for now, ignorance was bliss.

You ignored him and kept the peace for the most part, too tired to continue the cycle he still tried to keep up. It was comfortable at this point. But when he began to feel foolish and embarrassed that you didn’t continue or follow along, he took it as a small victory, a glance that things were turning for the better. Quite honestly he felt good, not feeling neglected anymore was nice.

But Hyuck was no stupid man. With something like that, there’s always an underlying factor. Especially when it comes to your mercy. Though his inkling began the night of your anniversary dinner, he began to notice the lingering touches. And at times you still argued you’d always run off to Mark’s room, refusing to get out. Making him drag Mark towards your shared room so he wouldn’t sleep in the same room as you. 

Though he never actually caught either of you doing anything. That pang in him worsened as the days progressed. And seeing how much you preferred being around his best friend was killing him. He hated seeing how you laughed and had a conversation with Mark but not him. 

He hated seeing you smile at Mark but become cold whenever Hyuck came home. It didn’t help that you always smelled like Mark. Whenever he arrived, the smell was prominent enough that it even intoxicated him when you two slept. 

He began coming home earlier in late November. Always pretending to fumble with the keys to give you both time to become decent if he was to catch you. But every time he opened those doors you’d be in the kitchen or lounging on the couch. Alone. 

Those times he’d sigh in relief. Eyes searching for Mark just to find him on the balcony smoking with a look of angst that kept getting worse as days passed by. He felt foolish each time, angry at himself for doubting you both of ever betraying him. Only he was sick enough to ruin you, he should know better than to think of you in that light. 

But it never got easier. Jealousy is consuming him daily even when he keeps telling himself there’s nothing to worry about. His jealousy is not too different from Mark’s. While Hyuck might enjoy your affection and present love, Mark was hating how quickly you changed the roles. Now it was him you treated like worthless trash and only had around for a quickie. If anything he now felt neglected.

“Did you find your keys?” Mark asks, settling on the free couch across from you. Hyuck turns to him, his smile falters. Both men ported that subtle defiant glare with each other. He shakes his head, turning from him to you, and presents you with a smile, making one of your own form too. 

He liked this. This was comforting even if he knew nothing ever lasts between you two.

“Haven’t looked for them yet.” He answers, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. He pauses for a second to glance at Mark again. His scent strongly lingered on you even if you thought the perfume could drown it out.

Mark looks at you momentarily, hoping you’d decide to get out of Hyuck’s grasp to at least show some care but that was wishful thinking. “You should’ve rung other tenants, they probably would’ve let you up.” He remarks of his long wait, turning to the TV in hopes it would aid him in ignoring you both. 

He hated this, it was unbearable.

“I guess.” You look between both of them, repositioning your legs on Hyuck’s lap and hooking your arms around his neck. He holds you tightly, hands taking a grip of your thighs and waist. Mark tried not to see the way he caressed you. His fingers glided over the fabric of your skirt and looked at you as he teased the idea of them going under.

Getting fed up from your quiet giggles and his best friend, Mark stood up ready to head towards the rooftop but Hyuck stopped him. “Where are you going?” Mark looked between his hand and your face, seeing how you did nothing to avoid his gaze. “Smoke, why?” His foot begins to jitter the longer he remains there. 

“Let’s eat first. I have some news. ” Hyuck answers, helping you both off the couch. His hand clutches yours, pulling you towards the dinner table. Mark followed suit, sitting across you while boring daggers into your eyes as Hyuck warms up the food that had gotten cold in the trance of waiting. 

“Are they bad ones?” Mark questioned, glare not dropping trying to figure out if it was disinterest or guilt in your mirroring gaze. “You’re home earlier than recently and even brought food.” 

Haechan granted him a chuckle, the microwave’s buzzing muffling it. “You can’t let anything slide.” Shaking his head, your husband took the seat beside you. “Not bad at all actually.” 

Mark didn’t seem to enjoy the answer, opting to gather the drinks. While it went unnoticed by Hyuck, you couldn’t help but feel the hostility weighing down on your shoulders. To ease that, you decided to pry for an answer as well. 

“No but actually, why are you home earlier?” You ask, preparing his plate despite his protest. This was so different that the quick change-up still felt foreign to all of you but mainly Mark. It’s almost mimicking the life you two had while newly weds.

He turns to you with a stoic look, swallowing the piece in his mouth. “Why? You don't want me to? Was I interrupting something?” You muster a nervous laugh, kissing his cheek to deflect. “Not really. We were working on last-minute touch-ups for Mrs. Oh’s commission.” You squeeze his hand and elicit him to smile in return, dropping the hostility. 

“I know it’ll turn out great.” Oh, he was so full of shit and you knew it. He can act all he wants but his feelings towards your art will never change. “How’s the painting going, Mark?” His focus shifts to the quiet man. Mark had that same angry look plastered on his face, obvious that he wasn’t enjoying himself. 

“Good. Your wife is of great help.” He raised his beer bottle, guzzling the liquid as if his life depended on it, without a care for his liver. Hatred seemed to be the only thing that filled your husband’s body upon the sentence spilling from Mark’s mouth.

His slow chewing and persistent glare towards the older male made this tense dinner worsen. “That she is.” His voice had deepened when the words cascaded. It was ruining your night how obvious they were being. But if they weren’t going to act upon it and grant you entertainment, then you’ll have to shift that tension.

“Hyuck, you never answered my question.” You turn to him, dropping your grip from the fork and leaning back on the chair rest. “Right, well. I’ve been working with them for a while–”

“You’re quitting?!”

“Let me finish, love.”

He grins trying to hide his dissatisfaction with your interruption. His hand takes a hold of yours, squeezing it. “I’ve been overworking myself. Working overtime to the point it’s been a big reason our marriage is the way it is…” You don't meet his gaze, it drops just like your stomach knowing what he could mean. 

Not only does it cause sadness but it also irks you that he’d drop that in front of Mark. Sure he knew you guys weren’t doing good but why bring it up now that you’re both ignoring it?

Regardless he continues. “What I’m getting at is that I have some hours accumulated and I’m taking three months off.” Both you and Mark turned to him startled. Three months was a lot for a simple vacation and when you think about it, he’s not that pleasant when he has free time at hand.

“That’s a lot of time, Hyuck. What do you even plan on doing?!” He could hear the concern in your voice, you still weren’t ready to see him day and night. Mark seemed to have your sentiment at heart. He too was thinking of how awkward and uncomfortable things will be with him at home. 

Yet all Hyuck could do was laugh wholeheartedly until it turned dry and low, glaring at you both. “You two don’t seem to want me around.” His fork hits the plate with a loud thud, your eyes rolling at his attitude. Just when things were nice, he always had to sneak in his tantrums. 

“It’s not that, you just haven’t had time to yourself in so long. What do you even plan on doing?” At that second Mark felt warm. The tone in your voice reminded him of how you would talk to Hyuck months prior. It gave him hope that you two would cut the crap and go back to argument after argument. At least then you'd run to him for comfort. 

Donghyuck pouted, nodding in agreement. “Yeah... That’s why we’re going on a trip.” He pats your thigh, a smile creeps on his face. “A family friend has allowed me to use one of their homes. I thought it’d be nice to spend New Years there since we spent Christmas here.” He looked around for a reaction, a little annoyed that neither gave him one. 

“Well?” He raised an eyebrow, smile faltering. 

“When do you guys leave?” Mark questions, a dumbfounded expression on his face. Hyuck pressed his lips together with a twinge of guilt the longer he looked at his friend. Has the hostility been so bad that he's not including himself? Well… Mark’s best interest wasn’t that at heart.

“Tomorrow and you're going too.” He points his finger for visualization. In the second Hyuck’s gaze drops to search for his napkin, Mark and you both turn to each other. Mark questioned what would be of this relationship while you wondered what your husband was planning or if he truly was clueless. Nonetheless, the biggest concern was how your little game would continue with Hyuck around 24/7 now. 

Donghyuck’s plans only seemed to interfere with Mark’s. Even more now that he was thinking about all the things he planned on revealing as a surprise. Mark didn’t have three months. In fact, at the beginning of the year he had to start moving into his new apartment. Having you two help him move in was going to be the reveal but now everything was ruined. 

“Are you okay?”

Your genuine concern broke both of them out of their trances. Mark turned to you with his big round eyes, feeling his chest warm again; in awe of your simple actions. Hyuck’s chewing slowed down when he looked between you and Mark; confused and scared at the same time. 

“Mark?”

“Um… yeah it’s just–” 

Fuck he missed hearing you say his name endearingly. 

In that instance he gave you a sly smile, scratching his head in discomfort. “I actually can’t stay the whole three months.” A sort of apology settled in his eyes knowing you're both confused. 

“I already found an apartment and I wanted it to be a surprise for you guys when I start moving in… I get the keys on the second.” He chuckles nervously, avoiding your gaze but turning to his best friend.

You knew that day would come. In fact, your fear of him leaving is what led to both of you starting this affair. Yet you didn’t think it would be this soon. What was once hostility between your husband and his best friend now transferred between you and Mark. 

Maybe you didn’t care too much that he was leaving anymore but you did care that he hid something that big from you. It’s like he didn’t know you at all. Surprises were never your thing and if he had pulled that on you when the time came, you’d be absolutely furious with him.

“Did they give you hell for the working situation?” Hyuck’s voice interfered with your internal monologue, turning your gaze from Mark to him. “Kind of… I mean I’ve shown them proof of freelancing with the paintings and even if that wasn’t enough, I’ve managed to get Taeyong’s help in being a co-signer for payments. Just until I finally settle with the artist studio.”

“It’ll be sad to see you go. Right, y/n?”

“Right.”

“So does that mean you’ve gotten a job?” Hyuck excitedly questions, forgetting the remainder of his meal. Mark’s body sways at the mention, a smile forming on his lips. “Yeah…” He spoke, trying his best to not seem too excited. 

While the two seemed to be celebrating, your mood had soured. He found an apartment and chose his location but didn’t tell you any of it and then complains that you’ve changed. He truly wasn’t any better.

“What location?”

“Huh?”

Hyuck hums in confusion, seeing your expression. “I want to know what location he chose. Yasuki gave him two options. So which one?” There your husband lets out a confused chuckle, shaking his head and leaning back on the chair. “Why haven’t I heard of this?” He laughs a bit more, pushing his plate away from him.

“Because you’re never home.” Your hostility was ruining the night now. What started with them was ending with you. It was not helping Hyuck’s feelings when it came to you and his best friend. When he thought it was a simple delusion, your reaction to knowing Mark was leaving left a bitter taste in his mouth to the point he was blaming the meal.

Mark cleared his throat, sitting up straight. “I’m going to give digital work a try. So that studio— it’s an hour away.” He gulped turning to you in fear of how you’d react. It wasn’t that far from each other but you still weren’t processing that he was going to leave you. 

An awkward air surrounded the three of you. While Hyuck went back to eating and you played with your food at this point, Mark cleared his throat trying to rid of that anger that filled him earlier. As much as he despises your recent treatment, it pained him more to see you sad because of him.

“So, what time do we leave tomorrow?” 

“Not too early. There’s still some errands I have to run before we leave the apartment alone.”

Hyuck lifts his head, answering Mark before rising from his seat. “Are you done?” Your voice cuts through. You were used to him leaving the table whenever but you didn’t want to be alone with Mark right now. At most you knew he’d cling to you as a means to ask for forgiveness and you didn’t want to deal with it.

He hums, taking his plate and washing the remains himself. It’s been a while since he’s done anything to help around the house. The action alone causes some irritation with you despite knowing you should be glad. “I’m waking up early tomorrow so if you excuse me I’ll go wash up and sleep after the game.”

Making his way to the bedroom and soon after back out to the bathroom; Hyuck closed the door behind him feeling that chilly breeze from the open window. Everything seemed fine but an ominous feeling enveloped him upon looking at himself in the mirror. The light fixture above emits a green hue to compliment the dark tiles. 

He couldn’t point his finger at it but being in this space and in the position of him leaning against the counter was causing that ache in his chest again. If he remained any longer he could see himself form scenarios in which he wouldn’t be happy and he rather not disrupt the peace you all reside in. For now at least.

As soon as Hyuck turned on the shower, Mark joined him in opening the faucet to finish washing the dishes. “Just leave them there.” Your monotonous voice filled his ears. Head turned to you with a hum as he scrubbed the last remaining utensils.

“I'm already finished, don’t worry about it.” He tried smiling. “Jesus fucking christ seems like everyone can do things themselves now.” You didn’t give him time to respond, opting to walk towards the living area. Flipping through the channels to get some watch time before Hyuck either forced you to watch the match or subtly shoo you away. 

Mark looked at you dumbfounded. He knew you were upset with him, enough to make him regret ever not telling you the news when he heard them. To an extent Mark knew you didn’t like things being hidden from you (though you adored hiding things from them). But he had justified his actions by hoping you’d be ecstatic by the time the reveal came. 

In his mind, he pictured you happily helping him move into his new apartment. Happy to see him finally start his life all over again with hopes this time he wouldn’t fail. Sometimes he wished you’d end up moving in with him. Leaving Hyuck and this faux persona you’re both creating nowadays. 

But by the looks of how you’re taking in the news, he should’ve planned better. Things between you two became complicated and mostly carnal. So he’s been trying to avoid making you upset but nothing was working. He was becoming a burden to you in his eyes and he was starting to feel frightful. 

“I’m going to go smo—“

“You do that.”

Your fingers threaded through your hair like his had earlier, not granting him even a direct look. Cutting him off after deciding to just watch the remaining minutes of the match before the one Hyuck wanted to watch.  

Mark’s mouth was left ajar, speechless at how easily you blew him off without remorse. This same thing has become quite recurrent every time he upsets you and as much he tries not to, each time you leave him feeling useless to the point he’s stuck to your hip doing anything you want.

He nods in disappointment, taking his box of cigarettes and keys, making his way to the rooftop. With the door closing behind him, you sigh in annoyance with what life is bringing your way. 

By half time, Mark had come back ignoring that bubbling jealousy as you caressed an angry Haechan whose body you enveloped as comfort given his team was losing. Three hours later he had woken from his slumber to the faintest sound of the television still on in the living room. 

Curious and with a dry throat, Mark stood from the bed making his way to the living room, opening the door as quietly as he could. 

“Today through this exclusive TV offer you can get twelve fascinating issues of Zoobooks for 19.95…” 

Distracted by the advertisement, you hadn’t noticed Mark approach you in awe after realizing the shirt you’re wearing is his. Small details like this made him forget all those abrupt outbursts you’d throw his way that only made his heart ache. If only he knew how many of these Donghyuck has endured.

His arms wrapped around your waist pulling you to his chest. Lips landing tenderly on your neck and leaving playful pecks. Your low giggles made his heart swell, hands taking a grasp on his own to loosen his grip and let you turn to face him. 

“Hyuck you should be asleep…” You drag out the ‘e’ once face to face with the older male, your smile falters upon the realization. His mirrored yours; smile dropping, eyes filled with despondence, and a knot in his throat. 

“Oh… it’s you.” To an extent he could hear the pity in your voice, subtly apologizing for confusing him with your husband. 

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” His sadness had become anger, that same knot choking him to a physically painful extent. Despite that, your pity had subsided and boredom was evident. 

“What if it was him and I said your name? I don’t want either of us to die before the New Year.” 

In his entire anger, he hated that his only thought upon your words was: ‘I wouldn’t mind dying with you.’ 

With that thought alone Mark was beginning to feel frustrated with how easily his emotions ranged because of you. Nevertheless ending his turmoil of emotions, you pulled him down to the couch with you. Encasing his lips with yours once situated to give him some peace of mind.

A kiss was always enough to calm him down. Pulling you closer to his body and resting his hands on your hips as you both continued this lustful kiss. Sighing into the kiss once he felt like he needed a breath of air; one of his hands traveled to hold your face carefully. His warmth radiated to your cold cheek.  

“What are you doing up this late?” He whispers, repositioning himself to the armrest on the right and pulling you to his body. Mimicking the position you and Hyuck were in earlier. 

“Last minute cleaning before we leave tomorrow.” You took the remote control from the coffee table, disrupting the once semi-comfortable position. “I’m starting to regret it knowing he hasn’t packed anything yet. Have you?” 

“Not precisely. I had packed everything for when I started moving into the apartment—“ and he knew he fucked up right then and there. 

Your body became tense against his, hard enough that he feared you had become a statue. Shutting his eyes in regret; Mark started beating himself over not being careful with his words. He had gotten so used to speaking freely with you that he was beginning to fear he’d have to censor his vocabulary now. 

In a frenzy of panic, the words escape his mouth with fear: “Move in with me.” 

There was no denying his words had startled you. Removing his grip from your body to face him, the questions brewing in your brain engrave themselves into your face. 

While Mark worked with that nervous laugh that escaped him involuntarily, his hands reached for your face to plant short kisses onto your lips in hopes they’d ease both of your emotions. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Yeah!” 

A peppy feeling in his chest. “I mean it’s smaller than this place but I think you’ll like it.” Your eyes scanned his face, a layer of blush flushing it the longer you stared. The effects of being stared at by someone you love.

“The terrace is spacious so you can have all the plants you want. The bedroom can be your studio and we can have the bed in the living area.” He was so happy and blinded by the scenarios of having you in his home as his wife that he couldn’t see the gears turning in your head. 

How willing were you to follow through?

An amused laugh escapes your lips. Mark felt the airy comfort of acceptance to which he mirrors your laugh, kissing you now that he’s satisfied. 

“Sounds like a plan, huh? You can do whatever you want while I work for us. I mean I like you and you like me. We can start from square one, I really like you, y/n. Go with me, what else do we need?”

You knew what was needed but for now, you’ll bask in his boyish delight and kiss him like many times before; igniting his hope.

Mark took your kisses as confirmation. Hopefully a few days from now you both will find yourselves running off and leaving this stagnant life. It could be true, this may be your yearned fresh start.

He held your body closer, pillowy lips encasing yours to swiftly place them against your jawline. He created a path amongst your cold skin. A fluttering feeling brewing in your stomach the closer his lips got to your neck.

His tongue lapped at the flesh, drawing circles until he kissed it to create a tingle to run up your spine. Mark was always delicate when kissing your skin. Yes, he wanted to show Donghyuck and everyone what he did to you but for respect towards you, he restrained himself. 

“I’ll make sure you’ll get clients no matter what. You can even work remotely from the apartment or not at all if you don't want to. I'll do fine enough.” 

His warm whisper traveled up your skin to your ears, booming within your head but not much in a pleasant way.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes…” 

The word left in a groan, hands moving your hips to make you grind against his growing bulge. Quite interesting how easily he can get turned on. He was too enthralled with the way your body felt against him and his hopes to start a new life that he didn’t notice a wave of fright wash over you when hearing the slight creaking from your bedroom.

Not wanting to worry the man beneath you, you smiled, taking his face into your hands. He returned the smile wider, leaning in for one final kiss of the night. Your unexpected moves of getting off him creating a whine to slip from his lips.

“Good night, Mark. Remember to pack up before he finishes his errands.”

You didn’t give him time to return the words or feel frustrated with the mention of his best friend but it didn’t matter. All he cared for was the new life both of you were set to start together.

Fear had always plagued you upon entering this room even before Mark arrived. Whether it was because you knew an argument would brew or because you’d have to sleep in it alone. Things are different now. Now the fear stemmed from entering the room after your rendezvous to see Hyuck staring at the door until you entered, ready to lash out for these years of misery.

But in this reality he wasn’t staring at the door. He sat on the bed, back towards you while looking outside the vast window. Curtain pushed to the side that made copious amounts of neon lighting enter your shared bedroom. His figure had made your heart stop, begging for clemency at the fright he gave you.

You feared he heard you and Mark speak let alone any of the noises any of you could’ve let out from making out. While your heart banged against your ribcage to be let out, Hyuck restrained his bitter chuckle. That familiar smell swaying its way to his nostrils. At least you were in the room with him now. 

“Can’t sleep?” Your words didn’t elicit a response from him, if anything he could barely produce a sigh. With no response you approached him. Climbing on the bed, feeling the mattress sink under your knees, complaining about your abuse until you reached him. Wrapping your arms around his waist like Mark had done to you earlier, lips laying on the crook of his neck to take a whiff of his musk.

“What were you doing?” He asks, avoiding your own question. He didn’t need an answer, he knew perfectly what you were doing. Now that he had you this close, that pungent smell of Mark on you suffocated him. It didn’t help that the walls were thin and he could hear both of you murmuring. He may not have heard actual words but it was enough to know you two were together. 

His head turned to look at you upon not gaining an answer. It’s not that you took a while but he wanted to familiarize himself with your face whenever you were lying, just like you knew when he lied.

“Cleaning before we leave. I don’t want to come back to a dirty house.” You answer, kissing his cheek with a smile right after. 

Fuck. There’s no incriminating factor. Perhaps you're used to it by now.

Hyuck hums, sighing once again to rid his nostrils of Mark’s lingering scent. It was painfully intoxicating his loins. If he didn’t do anything about it, he feared not waking up tomorrow morning. Death by heartache. 

Shifting in his spot, Hyuck takes a hold of your body, laying you slowly underneath him. The image before you made your heart swell, giddy excitement filling your entire being. He didn’t do anything besides hover over you but that remorseful look in his eyes made you feel inherently nice. 

You didn’t want to feel this way. As much as you act civilized and occasionally loving towards him and in front of Mark to put up a facade, you are still angry and hurt for what he did to you nearly two years ago. You still hated him with your entire being but sometimes the nostalgia of happy moments took over you and made you miss him like crazy.

You knew you hated him. But despite how much you hated him you will always have that parasite in your system that’ll force you to remember the times he’s made you happy. And now that you found yourself with him hovering over you and looking at you lovingly, you seemed to cave.

When you thought he was leaning in for a kiss, his lips landed on your forehead. A tender and soft kiss is what he laid on your skin, taking in the scent of your hair rather than Mark’s. At least this would help ease his aching heart. 

Hyuck wondered if this feeling is what you felt when you found out about him and that girl. He never saw you cry about the situation but instead saw you tear down the house with any argument that ensued due to the subject. Perhaps he should be the one to act that recklessly. After all this was between his wife and his childhood best friend but he knew he wasn’t brave enough for that. 

In contrast to his inner turmoil, you found the action sweet. Trying your hardest to avoid that feeling of giddiness he was causing you. You two stayed like that for a few minutes, enough for his own scent to rub off on you from how close he held you. Satisfied, Hyuck pulls away, a gush of cool air getting between your bodies to remind you of that lost warmth.

“Don’t overwork yourself, you’ve done a good job keeping the house clean.” His voice still held that sleepy hoarseness, making his praise fill you even more with satisfaction. While he laid on his side again and whispered a sweet good night, you took the opportunity to turn to him and steal a kiss.

For the first time in a while, you initiated the kiss. Catching him off guard, Hyuck opens his eyes surprised before easing into it. Reminded how sweet kisses from you were and how much he had missed them all this time.

Pulling away with a smile on your lips, Hyuck returns it amused. “Good night.” You whisper, laying your head on his chest while his arm wraps around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. You two may feel hurt for the actions you’ve both taken but for tonight you’ll play along with those emotions that crave the comfort of puppy love. 

The next day came quicker than expected. All of you had different illusions created regarding your relationships and Mark seemed the most excited about the ones he’s created. Not that you wanted to ruin that hope but you needed time to think about it. On one hand it’d be a perfect way to finally ruin Donghyuck and make him pay for what he’s done to you but on the other it was such an abrupt proposition that you’re still trying to process it. 

And for the past three hours, you’ve sat calmly in the passenger seat of your car now that Haechan finally finished his errands, road trip in process. Both of you hand in hand with the radio working as the only source of sound. Even with that, Mark’s bitterness couldn’t be taken away. The image of you being so loving towards the man you fought with daily was consuming him in the worst way possible. 

Can one forget everything said that easily?

He tried distracting himself with anything he brought but even that couldn’t do anything for him. His glare shifted from you to Hyuck anytime someone talked. For the past hour both you and your husband had been passively debating on what to eat before arriving at the vacation home. Mark had given up his rights to make decisions, not caring much about what he ate. If it was for him, a good cold drink and a cigarette would be considered a meal.

“I don’t want to eat pasta again this week.” you whined, fingers squeezing his. A low grunt left your husband’s throat, rolling his eyes at how hard it’s always been to get you to choose what to eat. “Then let’s stop at a rest area and buy something from those restaurants?” His voice got louder, not enough to be considered aggravated but enough to make Mark shake his head with a grin.

“And eat in the car?! We still have two hours left, I don’t want the smell to stay!” Mark covered his face with his hands, laughing silently seeing you let go of Haechan’s hand. You pout in dissatisfaction while Hyuck ran his fingers through his hair, a huff of annoyance escaping him. 

It wasn’t long until the sun went down and due to his busy morning, he didn’t get to eat breakfast or lunch. Poor guy was on the brink of fainting from starvation. “We should’ve ate while you were putting gas.” The words escaping you had traveled to Hyuck’s ear, leaving behind a bitter tone.

Raising the hand that was in his hair, he turned to you irked. His face was red, mouth agape in disbelief since you were the one who didn’t want to eat in that area. “I told you and you didn’t want to!—” 

He was abruptly cut off when a popping sound was heard, dissipating any anger and laughter from anyone inside. Right now, you all felt confused and scared realizing it was the sound of a tire the second the rubber began flopping on the concrete and the drive was no longer smooth.

“Just what I need, Jesus fucking Christ.” Your husband mutters, opening his door angrily to get out and inspect the damage. You looked at him with the same expression he gave you before beginning his berating but now you followed behind to see what happened. With everyone gone, Mark is left alone in the car, realizing this could get much worse.

“Pop the trunk, let me get the spare out.” Donghyuck states, patting the metal and looking at you a bit tired. But your ashamed grimace was putting him out of ease. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t have a spare…”

He rubbed his face, sighing in frustration. “Are you being serious, y/n? Why don’t you have a spare?!” 

"I— we took it out to transfer the first batch of canvases to Mrs. Oh's house, we just didn't bother to put it back in..." 

He wanted to yell at you. To start an argument in which both of you would tell the other to die without saying the actual words. He wanted to walk away and leave both you and that traitor alone with the car just as long as he was far away; but he couldn’t.

Things have gone well and last night had given him hope too. Haechan knew he couldn’t ruin things this fast over a tire or being hangry. The only rational thing to do is sit down and act like he was fine, like it was all fine and under control. 

Taking a seat next to Mark, the both share a brief look before sitting in silence, defeat washing over your husband. Mark didn’t give any input and you yourself didn’t know what to do. Only thing that came to mind was comforting Hyuck.

That in mind, you push his legs together, taking a seat on his lap and making him face you after wrapping your arms around his neck. He looked beautiful in your opinion. His plump lips formed a pout, lids heavy from exhaustion. Even when dull you adored his eyes.

“Does your phone have signal? Can we try calling a mechanic?” He shakes his head, grunt sounding more like a whine while protruding his pout more. “Yours?” You mimic his response, pulling him closer by the neck.

Mark saw everything from his peripheral, knuckles turning white the tighter he held his book. His heart was screaming, aching, and threatening to explode if you kept being this blatantly affectionate in front of him. Did you have no shame? No remorse? What were you playing at to love him just last night but rub in his face that another man could have you publicly?

The nail in the coffin came when you leaned into Haechan, slotting his lips with yours and kissing him tenderly. Turning his head to an angle towards you both, his eyes squinted and lips parted with aversion. The image seemed too familiar. Was it from last night or the afternoon in this same car that started this affair but he too felt betrayed now. 

Having enough of watching you kiss away your husband’s stress, the older male made his way out of the car, slamming the door causing both you and Hyuck to separate. His gaze turned to his friend, panting to regain air but before he could question anything you kissed his swollen lips once more, holding him for dear life.

“Better?”

“Much better.” 

Hyuck smiles at you, kissing your cheek before helping you off his lap. He wouldn’t have minded staying like that for a while but his subconscious told him to go to Mark. To talk to him while he remained agitated and with swollen lips: evidence of your adoration. It may be malicious but why shouldn’t he when everything pointed to his betrayal. 

“You good?” Your husband raises his eyebrows, thumb swiping against his red swollen lips. An action Mark watches bitterly. “Just taking a smoke.” Placing the stick between his lips, the older pushes the box towards his friend as an offering. Hyuck takes it, leaning against the car waiting for Mark to pass him the lighter but the latter turns it on with his own. In the instance that their heads came together and tips of the burning cigarettes touch, a flash goes off making both of them turn startled.

Haechan blows off the smoke, ruffling his hair when realizing it was you that took a picture of both. No one said anything. You simply smiled at them, rolling the film for whatever was your next target. 

For the following half an hour you all remained silent with the exception of your camera whenever they did something you liked and occasionally the radio if anyone saw it fit to turn it on.

The sun was threatening to fall and worry finally settled; the three of you throwing worried glances to each other. When the universe had enough of you all acting useless; the presence of an older woman cleaning her hands on her worn out apron stood before you three. 

“What seems to be the problem?” Though sounding hostile, she meant well. Clearing his throat, Hyuck stood from his position on the seat he had settled on not long ago. “Hello… Our tire popped and we don’t have a spare. By any chance do you have service to call a mechanic?” His hands rub against his jeans, smiling at her in hopes that would help. 

She simply chuckles, shaking her head in disbelief. “Who doesn’t carry a spare tire driving through here? Have you seen the potholes?” Her chuckle turned into laughter, mocking the three but nevertheless she didn’t mean any harm and instead asked them to follow her.

“There’s no mechanic for another two hours and the one we have has been out for the past week but my son and husband should be here from work in around ten minutes. My son has spare tires and you can work it out with him. How does that sound?” 

There was no other choice. All of you had to be gone soon if you wanted to enjoy the remaining days of 1999 and Mark’s stay with the two of you. Nodding, Hyuck agrees, eliciting a smile on the woman’s face that invites the party to her home. 

The car was left on the side of the road but the vast windows of the home allowed all of you to view it for precaution. The walk from the vehicle to the house was a bit far with the troubles of wet dirt from past rain and some stray thorns but both men tried their best to make your path clear.

It was much colder upon entering the home. The walls were freezing and the lights dull. The house was lovely but that ominous feeling was creeping on Mark enough to hold your arm and pull you closer to him. You mustered to side eye him, confused on his actions but pulled away when Hyuck turned to you both. A subtle dissatisfied look on his face.

“Spending New Years at the beach?” The lady questioned in order to create conversation. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea so far.” Haechan smiles, looking around when taking a seat on the plastic covered couch. The older lady that soon introduced herself as Magui had gone to the kitchen to continue cooking dinner.

She had confessed that her husband and son left her alone the entire day. Most of the time only seeing them when they came back and when making them lunch. Seeing yourself in her, you searched for a sliver of sadness but who figured some people don’t mind the life you have. She spoke highly of the men in her life so maybe that was the key to her happiness. 

“Are you staying with family for the New Year, Magui?” You egg the conversation, sipping on the hot chocolate she handed all of you now that it was getting colder. “We’re spending it with my family. They live in the next state over. Today is their last day of work for the year so we leave early tomorrow.” Her smile became warmer the longer she spoke to you all, feeling more at ease herself. 

“Are you all spending it with your family?” Truth be told she wanted to know what was the deal between the three of you. She was an older woman, the more wiser and she could see the glances both men threw you. Were you with the beautifully tanned honey haired man or the brunette with gracious cheekbones? Both of them made their infatuation clear but only one of them would be presented as your partner.

Mark shrugged, giving her a shy smile. “Just us three.” Haechan answers, taking your hand into his. There her answer went. Parting her lips to let out an ‘ah’, she nods at the reveal. 

“Seems a little lonely doesn’t it?” It did but none of you would want to admit it. After all the past years you’ve spent it with Hyuck’s family so this was a change of pace. “Not necessarily. I only have them.” Mark answers, his eyes shifting from her to both of you. 

He had his family but his brother and mother were cowards that did anything his father said. He, like you, spent Christmas and New Years with Hyuck and his family, that’s the most he’d see his best friend in a busy year. 

“Yeah… well his family too but he wanted to change it up this year.” You laugh nervously, squeezing your husband’s hand who only raised his eyebrows as a response. You, like Mark, didn't have a good relationship with your own family. 

Not too long after your mother’s death, your father remarried a woman you could only describe as a geriatric cunt. Preferring her over you: his own daughter, things hadn’t been the same as they were when you were younger. Years of neglect had gotten to you and you treated him as nothing more than your creator. 

Well, that’s your version but in reality all these years you treated your father horribly for trying to move on. Yes, he loved your mother but he knew he couldn’t take care of you and your brother alone and his current wife was a delight. Even after all these years of your reproach, they still loved you dearly and tried their best to keep in touch. 

As the years progressed you ignored your father’s advances on fixing this damaged relationship but he kept trying. You couldn’t understand why your brother had forgiven him but you couldn't. Maybe because you refuse to acknowledge you were in the wrong in wanting your father to cope the same way as you did. So if you were miserable he should be too.

This year he had invited you all to his home once again for the holidays. He knew you spent it with your Husband’s family but it never hurt to try. Whenever you didn’t answer his emails, letters, or fax he’d resort to Hyuck who’d only reply with: ‘I’ll let her know.’ Knowing full well the answer will always be no.

Donghyuck never blamed you for trying to stay away from your father. He saw how Mark’s own relationship with his was and he didn’t want to push you either. All he could do was stay by your side and offer you comfort despite not agreeing with you. At least he knew his family would always produce warmth and love for his loved ones.

Soon enough screaming from outside took everyone’s focus. Magui knew it was her husband and son; greeting them ever so lovingly and kissing their cheeks as a welcome; her face lit up in joy. 

Maybe in another universe this could be you and Hyuck. Maybe.

“So?” The older male spoke with a gruff voice, hand turning to the three of you sitting on the couch as he took his spot on the recliner chair his wife sat on earlier. Presumably none of you were sitting there by the time he arrived. “Their tire popped right outside.” Words came out choppy while chewing on a piece of potato, making sure it was well cooked. 

“Chivi go change it out, get one of your spares.” Magui ordered her son who stood with no hesitation. Cocking her head towards her son while looking at your husband; he stood up to follow him, pulling you with him in the process. Not trusting to leave you alone with Mark even when there were eyes all over.

You began freezing the instant you crossed the threshold, your jacket doing nothing to warm you. You didn’t complain much. In a way you did prefer being with him for the time being, still feeling awkward around the older couple back inside.

“Ah. Yeah… Horrible burst.” The one called ‘Chivi’ speaks, raising his eyebrows while releasing a small laugh. With a flashlight he pointed at how horribly ripped the rubber was, flaps barley hanging close together. “My spares are used up and old themselves so I recommend you change it as soon as shops open again and get a new one. It’ll last you a good few weeks but it’s best to be cautious. Are you okay with that?”

Anything was okay than staying stranded in a small town nearing the middle of nowhere. All he wanted to do was get to the home, shower, and rest for the remainder of the night. He was exhausted and hungry, he wanted a break.

“Yeah, yeah that’s fine. How much would it be?” Haechan nods exasperatedly, hand reaching for his wallet but Chivi stops him. “Nothing! Actually, can you go get me a pack of tortillas and a large bottle of coke? I forgot to get them and ma’s gonna kill me if she finds out.” He laughs, finding this comedic. 

You let out a giggle yourself. After waiting a good 10-20 minutes and night had finally caught up to you, all this family asked for was the essentials to their dinner. It may be the simplest of requests but you found the family endearing perhaps because you were still fixated on the fact that in another life you too could’ve had this sweet family with Donghyuck.

“Sure, no problem.” He heard your voice for the first time this night, smiling at the confirmation. He handed Hyuck the keys to his truck, rushing you both while giving directions to the nearest grocery store that seemed to be 15 minutes away if you went straight ahead. 

When arriving the both of you got the items rapidly with barely any exchange of words, exhaustion weighing down both of you. Besides their requests both you and Hyuck opted to get them a cake. It was minimal and perhaps the most random thing to give but you wanted to show your gratitude to the family in case they didn’t take payment for their help.

On the way back, he cracked the window open letting the cold air in, making you turn to him a little peeved. “Cold?” He taunts, tongue pushing against his cheek before chuckling. “Very. Feel.” Taking his hand onto yours, Hyuck pretended to shudder at the contact of your cold skin but didn't let go. 

“We finally have some time to ourselves.” He deviates, holding your hand against your thighs which you covered with a blanket you were able to get out of the car before leaving. “Yeah, I suppose so.” At least the first night out without any argument and ill words thrown at each other besides your make up anniversary dinner. 

From time to time he’d turn to you, seeing as you watched the trees blur away but focused on how beautiful you looked. The way your lips shined from the lip balm, your nose with the faintest hint of blush from the cold, and the way your eyelashes batted against your cheeks whenever you blinked.

If it wasn’t because of the darkness, he’d think you’re glowing. You didn’t look as miserable and dull as you did months ago and before Mark’s arrival. That only made him feel guilty and incensed; being aware that his best friend has been able to liven up your life. Just Mark and not him: your husband. 

Haechan’s hand begins to smoothen out the creases of your sweatpants, his hand progressively getting higher on your thigh enough to make you feel a tingling ache between your legs. His hand became warm enough that it almost felt like you didn’t have cloth between you two and he was directly caressing your skin.

“What are you doing, Hyuckie?” your head rolled to face him, sultry eyes begging him to not stop even if your voice tried to act like it. “I never got to fully taste you that night, princess.” A smile crept on your face as his hand inside your sweatpants, pushing away the fabric of your underwear. 

There was always sweetness and comfort in the way he called you said nickname. You always surrendered under him whenever he said the word. If only he knew the effect it had on you, he’d exploit it to have you eating from his palm.

“We can’t—” You choked up, his fingers pushing through your cavern, enveloping them with your warmth. He held a smirk on his face, biting his inferior lip to repress a mischievous chuckle. “Not here…” You moan, he curled the digits once reaching as deep as he could, slowly moving them within you. 

“We can’t fuck in someone else’s car.” An airy breath left your lips, panting the while he continued to move his fingers, tips gracing your g-spot. He knew your body well, no one but him. 

“Why not?” He whines, fingers leaving your body and making you cry from emptiness. His hand reaches his plump lips, smothering them with your essence as if it was lip balm, licking it off after seconds and rejoicing from joy at the taste he longed for. 

Your eyelids fluttered at the image, feeling tears well up on your waterline. “Lay your blanket in the back, we can there.” He sucks on his ring finger, biting at the skin, teeth dancing across the flesh to leave behind a red trail before drying them off on his neck. 

In your seconds of contemplation his phone rang angrily inside his pocket; removing his attention from you. You wouldn’t deny that it bothered you, it had ruined the mood and both of you couldn’t ignore it as your pager kept buzzing when the calls went unanswered. 

It felt like Deja Vu for the one on the other end.

“Mark–” “Mark.”

Hyuck shakes his head with a chuckle, not surprised that even when gone he’d interrupt another intimate moment. “We’re taking too long apparently.” Turning to look at his disappointed face while he sped off to the house; you couldn’t help but feel his frustration. He didn’t talk after that, leaving the reminder silent. 

On arrival you took it upon yourself to break that silence, cupping his cheek into your cold hands making him look at you. “When we get home, okay?” You kiss him, easing his irritation. He nodded in agreement, his own hand on top of yours and pulling you closer to him to deepen it.

He swiped his tongue over your lower lip, you parted them to give him access and when his free hand traveled under your shirt; your pager buzzed again causing him to laugh into the kiss. This time bitterness won. 

“Let’s just go.” He sighs, unbuckling and rushing out the truck. You shared his sentiment, picking at your lips on the way inside the house; his hand holding yours tightly. 

The four inside turned to the creak of the door, desperate hunger slapped on their faces. “There was a long line, sorry.” Your husband excused, handing them the still warm tortillas and soda bottle. 

“Sit. Eat Before you all leave.” Magui offers; a warm smile on her face while serving her son first. The three of you didn’t want to burden the family any longer but they insisted until you all agreed. 

While conversation was made and you all enjoyed the meal after extensive hours of unwilling starvation, you all finally bid your goodbyes and thanked them again for their hospitality. In a matter of seconds that brief encounter was gone but the experience will always stay.

The remaining two hours were spent in complete silence considering you knocked out as soon as you got in the car and Mark held resentment for you not answering and crossing that threshold with swollen lips letting him know what you two were truly doing. Donghyuck himself was tired and didn’t have it in him to throw jabs at the older male in the passenger’s seat (both of them convincing you to just sleep in the back until you arrived).

Around midnight you all had arrived. The scenery was familiar to Mark, enough that he sat up straight to analyze every architectural detail of the house. From the geometrical protruding walls, huge clear windows, and the creaking play set that had given him many burns going down the slide as a child. 

This was Mark’s— his father’s beach house. The same house his father banned him from years ago after one of their petty arguments. One neither could recall anymore but till this day they still remained angry.

He wanted to be glad that he was staying here as a way to stick it to his dad but knowing the man gave Hyuck access when he never gave it to anyone, not even his favorite child, made his blood boil. What had he done for his friend to gain his father’s trust till this day?

“Can you get some of the bags while I take her in?” Donghyuck interrupts his thoughts. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he gets to have you and his father’s admiration. Hyuck didn’t have a bad relationship with his own father. Why was he so adamant on taking his dad too? He was already brainwashing you by the way you’ve been acting so what else could he take from him?

Mark bitterly took in the items, throwing them all against the well kept couch. While your husband tucked you in (occasionally hearing your sleepy complaints about wanting to sleep), Hyuck returned quickly to help Mark unload. Stepping foot in the living room, he watched his friend’s actions.

The older looked vexed, gripping tightly to old framed family pictures. He appeared in some, miserable as one could be and the ones he ever smiled in he was a toddler with no recollection of ever loving his father. 

“Neat, huh?” Haechan interrupted, extending his arms to signal at the house. Mark hummed, not lifting his gaze taking his own bag. “Why didn’t you tell me it was this house? That the family friend was my dad?” He questions minimizing the distance between the two. 

The younger shrugs giving no importance, “Thought we’d spend the last few days where we always had fun.” He smiles almost sincerely. It’s true that Hyuck wanted to spend the end of the year at a place full of fond memories but after what Mark has done, tormenting him a little won’t hurt. 

Mark sighs, pressing his lips tightly together while nodding; leaving his friend alone in the living room as he makes his way to his old bedroom. The only unkempt and dirty one in the entire house. 

Early morning Donghyuck had woken up with a cold spot beside him that belonged to you. His mind raced with ill thoughts and fury was consuming him. He called out for you but gained no response. That began to elicit scenarios in which if he stood and went to Mark’s room you’d be there.

Shaking his head to not get ahead of himself, he calls out your name again, putting on his sandals to roam around the house and search for you. He searched upstairs, in the kitchen, the living room, extra bedrooms, and even considered barging into Mark’s. But he didn’t want to see it with his own eyes. He didn’t want to see you two in anything compromising and ruin his sanity. 

Instead he went downstairs to continue his search, aiding his thumping heart from the ache of the ‘what if’. If there’s something Hyuck keeps in mind from all the things you’ve said it’s: ‘Who seeks, finds.’ And he didn’t want to find, at least not yet. He was glad that when stepping foot in the warm lower layer, he found you floating about in the grand indoors pool.

His heart relaxed as his face muscles did, sighing in relief to know his suspicions were wrong. How glad he was to be wrong for once. Making his way to the edge of the pool, he rolls up his sleeping pants, removing the sandals and dipping his feet in the warm water.

It took you a few seconds to realize he had arrived but seeing his face unconsciously made a smile appear on your face. “Morning,” You coo, swimming his way. He returns the smile basking in the sweetness of the moment. 

If this had happened months ago you’d glare at him before deciding to get out of his presence. You would’ve never spoken to him in this way months ago but now you were acting like everything was behind you. Whether it’s your own guilt or being tired of the cycle, he was going to appreciate the small things.

“Morning, princess.” He lets out with a groggy voice, caressing your cheek the instant you get close. “Slept well? I didn’t want to wake you, you looked really tired yesterday.” He musters a nod, yawning away his remaining sleep.

“Is it cold out? Why aren’t you at the beach instead?” You shrug, swiping away droplets from your face. “I’ll get ready and we can go if you want. There’s this secluded area Mark and I would always go. I think you’ll like it, this time it’ll be just us.” He winks, standing to shake off the water that clung to his legs. You nodded, watching him make his way out to leave you in solitude again. 

You two hadn’t been this close in the longest time and it was concerning how sweet he was. Even when you two ‘made’ peace and started to act like nothing was ever wrong he didn’t go out of his way to be this loving. The most came to occasional kisses on the cheek and holding hands but he had taken a drastic turn that night he announced his long break.

That night had shifted things for everyone and you couldn’t get past your uneasiness. You knew it was because of Mark, it was obvious in the way he spoke to his friend that Hyuck saw something and he didn’t like it. You weren’t stupid, you can see the way they look at each other compared to earlier in his stay. 

For the most part they always tried to defy or avoid each other and the times they acted like best friends, the moment would be ruined when either made a sly remark regarding you. You wanted to believe Hyuck did it for the kindness of his heart and not to brag but that doubt won’t leave your mind anytime soon, not until Mark’s final day and you decide if you’ll join him.

But in the meantime you’ll enjoy the affection Hyuck’s giving you. Despite spending the most intimate time with Mark he had dialed down on his sweetness and allowed his libido to take over. Sure occasionally he’d act like the sweet boy from earlier but he was a man nonetheless and your cute walks around the countryside turned to him taking you in the back of the car because he couldn’t hold off much longer until getting home. 

You liked Mark. You held him dear to you, he was still that sweet boy you met half a year into your relationship with Donghyuck but he barely acted like him anymore. He was animalistic and possessive, wanting to keep you near him at all times and you didn’t know how to process that. You understood his love for you to an extent but the man you first slept with that afternoon wasn’t the same one that held you roughly against a sink just two days ago.

Not to mention that aside from his libido he became a clingy cheese ball that if you spent too much time with him, you’d scream how much of a bore he became inside your head.

Minutes later, Hyuck had come out with the remaining items you needed, taking your hand in his and dragging you out the dock that led directly to the beach. With the exception that he took a detour between large boulders until you both ended up by the beach completely isolated from anyone else. 

The view was beautiful; for miles on end all you could see was the swaying dull cyan waves, clashing against the sand and whatever boulders were closest. Walking a little further up to the sand, you set the blanket as Hyuck the remaining items. Both settled beside each other waiting for the chilliness to calm down before dipping in the sea.

As the minutes of silence passed it was to be noted how estranged you two became to one another. What in past years would have been multiple conversations in by now had become subtle glances and shy giggles when caught. Almost like the beginning of your courtship. To anyone seeing you two; they ought to think it was a cute occurrence, but to you both— it was eating you alive seeing how dull things became.

“Are you cold?”

He breaks the ice, opening a container of strawberries, taking a bite of the red fruit. “A little.” You confess, looking from him to the tides that purposely spray you. He took the opportunity and came closer, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you to him; enveloping you in an embrace that in fact was warming you.

He hums, resting his head on your shoulder basking in your scent. Glad that for once in a long time he couldn’t smell his friend on you. “Are we staying here the three months?” You question, hoping that initiated a type of conversation.

“You don’t like it here?” “I do. I just want to know what plans you have.”

He lets out a sigh through his nose, fingers dancing across your arms.

“You know I don’t like saying my plans out loud. Your grandma scared me off.” He chuckles, allowing his lips to grace your skin as if it was an accident, creating goosebumps; Donghyuck can’t help but grin.

The most you could do was bring his hand up to your lips, placing a tender kiss on his soft skin. Feeling your lips on his flesh made his heart flutter, becoming warm until he saw a familiar accessory wrapped around your wrist. That beauty he felt had dwindled in a matter of seconds.

Donghyuck recalled seeing a similar one on Mark’s wrist just last month. That same shade of blue that faded with the pass of water and beads began wearing out. For someone that’s spent weeks analyzing you two, he was beginning to beat himself up over this small object.

“You’ve been getting closer to Mark, haven't you?” He takes your hand, bracelet in view. You tensed until he showed the key element. A hum ended up leaving your lips, nodding whilst nervously teasing him.

“I stole your best friend.”

“But he’s my best friend.”

His voice may be playful but his heart ached. 

“Maybe come home early and you can have him back.” You smile mockingly, turning so he could see it. His hand drops from your wrist, landing on your thigh. “I don’t think that’s a problem anymore.” 

You knew what he insinuated but you weren’t going to let that ruin this small peace you are feeling now. “You know we miss you, right?” Lies. You and him knew it was a lie but if it wasn’t for the tone that delivered such words, it would’ve consumed him.

Instead he found himself biting his lower lip, your sultry eyes scanning his face and feeling his hand inch further up the exposed skin of your thigh. “How much?” He asks, face getting closer to yours, enough to smell the pool’s bleach in your hair and the coconut lip balm.

“Hyuckie, we can’t here…” His fingers went beneath the fabric of your bikini bottoms, intruding your walls carefully just like last night. This time there was no reason for them to be interrupted. “You said we could when we got home,” He kisses the shell of your earlobe, words falling hot against your flesh.

His lips began a trail from there onto the crook of your neck, nipping lightly and leaving a warm sting. “I haven’t been able to feel you fully for so long, I’m surprised you’re not dry.” You felt yourself gulp at his words, beginning to pant from the adrenaline of both this rendezvous and the possible meaning of his words.  

He fully separated himself from you, laying you on the blanket before hovering over your body like a few nights ago. The exception being that this time he delved into a deep and animalistic kiss. His lips felt desperate against yours, both your tongues immediately waltzing with each other. Holding onto his neck and torso to keep some control.

“Won’t someone see?” “It’s private property, princess.”

Donghyuck was drunk with pent up arousal from months of no contact and the irritation of what you and his best friend have done behind his back. You were his and Mark was his best friend. Two separate things and he was not going to allow either of you to merge into one and leave him behind. 

Your nails softly clawed his skin, leaving red trails to indicate how much he was pushing. You didn’t dislike this, in fact his lascivious side has always been what you enjoy. He groans against your mouth from the sting of your actions, biting your lower lip to elicit a cry of your own.

Both your pained moans turned to pleasure giggles; he licked your lower lip before both your tongues connected and his hands untied your bikini top. Sliding from your skin and letting him feel your perked nipples against his own.

You felt sensitive under him, it wasn’t helping that his hand traveled between the both of you to undo the knots of your bottoms as well. Pushing off the fabric to let him rub circles on your clit without any restraints. Your eyelids fluttered at the contact, pulling him even closer to what he already was. 

“Not so shy now, huh?”  He laughs against your mouth, nipping your bottom lip before leaving a trail of kisses from them to your neck. The instant he penetrated you with his fingers, he bit your neck causing a pleasured yelp to leave your lips. “Oh, you dick.” You moan, moving your head to give him more access.

Haechan laughed at your words, continuing his abuse on your flesh and making sure those juvenile markings were dark and visible. He could do this to you and proudly. Only him. 

Delving in the pleasure of his long fingers moving at a gratifying pace, you urge him to add another one in which he complied, scissoring and stretching them within you to continue hearing your moans. You loved his fingers. He was the right amount of rough that made your legs shake with even the least amount of effort. 

Curling his digits; the deeper they were within you, the louder your moans became. It didn’t help that his aggressive praises made your head spin. The likes of: 

“Your cunt was made for me.” 

“No one will ever know how to fuck you this good with just their fingers.” 

and “If you’re shaking like this with my fingers, I can’t wait until you’re full of my cock and cum.” 

All of which made your eyes roll to the back of your head with the imagery of what that was like.

But you weren’t one to let him just talk without action. “Then fill me right now. Bruise me with no end.” Your eyes met his, a thin amount of tears threatening to slip. The same sultry eyes and voice defied and taunted him waiting for consequences. 

He didn’t grant you the satisfaction of a primary orgasm, instead he pulled his fingers out to leave you aching and whining from emptiness. His body separated from yours and that breeze he protected you from earlier attacks while he removed his swimming trunks. 

Sitting up to look at him, your chest felt warm seeing his hardened dick spring in fervor almost as if it had a mind of its own when in your presence. You too were glad to see it; after so long and in this state, the one thing you wanted was to have it in you no matter what entrance. 

And like a famished species, you crawl your way towards him. Holding onto the back of his thighs to pull him closer to you. The action made him stumble but he laughed at your desperation. Hand going to your hair, threading his fingers through it and holding your head firmly to look at him. 

“Want a taste?” He takes a hold of his heavy sex, taunting you by slapping it against your cheeks and watching your agape mouth chase after it. You nodded hurriedly, leaving behind any shame and pride just to taste him once more. 

Pulling your head closer and watching your mouth open more, Haechan lets his tip grace your lips before pushing your head away. Eliciting a pained whine; he crouched down to your level, his tight hold on your head not leaving and making you look directly in his eyes. 

“No. You don’t deserve this much.” His words were low and full of hatred, his eyes boring holes onto your own. If hell was real, you had just seen it through them. 

Dropping his grip from your hair, he helped you get on all fours. You could feel both of you sinking further into the sand and the blanket doing its best to not allow it to get near you two but his rugged actions weren’t helping the poor thing. 

Instead once you were positioned before him, he pushed your top half further down, enough for your head to lay on your arms and your lower half lifted to his crotch. As much as he didn’t want to grant you any more pleasure, Hyuck couldn’t hold himself back when he saw your glistening cunt under the sun, begging him to taste you. 

Your legs spread enough for him to see every crevice full of the arousal he caused. Fuck it. This was for him, not for you and he wanted to grant himself the pleasure of tasting you again.

Just when you were going to whine and beg for him to fuck you, you felt his lips attach to your cunt making you moan louder than you have in a while. He grunted at your reaction; it was music to his ears, hot enough to travel to his angry cock and twitch with precum spurting out. 

He felt your legs shake, not even his tight hold on them could make you stop. Haechan’s tongue swiped from your entrance to your clit, collecting your juices there and sucking on the bud to take them into his mouth. Proudly swallowing what you made for him. He hummed directly against your cunt, the warm vibration sending you overboard. 

“Hyuckie…” You moaned that sweet name again, his cock twitching at your cracking voice. He didn’t want to succumb to you, after all you’ve put him through the last thing he wanted to do was please you but damn that would happen regardless when fingering and eating you out was his favorite thing to do.

His nails dug into the skin of your ass cheeks, harsh grip eliciting a yelp as he continued to delve into the taste of your arousal. A delicacy if you ask him. Tongue teasing your entrance to the point just enough of the tip penetrated you.

You tried your best in touching yourself or at least rubbing him off with your feet but he always pushed you away, grunting at your disturbance. Feeling his tongue lap at your folds, circling around your clit, and sucking on it harshly then softly. Becoming a pattern that throws you into a frenzy.

Feeling your stomach coil and your legs start to give up on you, you begged him to just finish you off. To let you cum since he hadn’t done so when he was fingering you but he didn’t budge. Instead he continued his assaults on your sex; his face had pushed further in and you could feel how his soft rosy cheeks collected your cum on them. 

You wanted to see his face badly. To see how you’ve stained it and glisten in the sunlight. If he already looks beautiful, you believe your essence will make him even more so.  

“I didn't want to treat you and look where you have me. You’re so lucky I love you.” He grunts, laying his tongue flat on your cunt. You laugh at his statement but hear it become a moan at that. His warm, soft, velvety tongue licking away your own mockery. 

You feel his hand come flat on your ass, whipping your head to look at him but his cold glare didn’t allow for any words to leave your mouth, not even the moan that was product of his harsh treatment. “Are you close?” He grins, separating himself from between your legs. Fingers collecting your arousal and pushing it into his mouth.

Nodding feverishly, you bite your lower lip. Watching him thoroughly suck on his nimble fingers, not leaving a drop behind. Your breathing was labored and you could feel sweat accumulate where his hands had been holding you; you were no longer cold. Donghyuck’s actions alone elicited shaky moan after moan but what caused them to come with no end was how beautiful he looked behind you.

His caramel locks stuck to his forehead, perspiration threatening while his honey skin glowed under the sun’s rays. The same rays that made the lower half of his face glisten with the layer of your cum he was graciously licking at. The longer you looked at him, the longer you noticed how his lips were swollen red and his fingers pruning up.

He didn’t lie when he said he loved your taste.

What you intended to let out as a moan came out as a cry. Feeling your heart heavy and needy but most of all your stomach felt sick. Twisting and turning in hopes that he was to finally fill you up like you had asked. 

You were also needy and the image behind you made that worse; you felt desperate. The kind where you could throw a tantrum for not getting what you want and what you want is his cock to your hilt. Letting his frustrations out on you.

“Is my baby needy? Are you that needy?” He mocked. Pouting his lips to grip your hair again, lifting your head slightly before leaning in and pulling you to him. You nodded with a whine, chasing his lips but even that he denied until you sighed in frustration.

“Tell me how much you want it.” He pecked your lips, taunting you every time he pulled away. “Tell me how much you need and want my cock…” His grip tightened on your hair, a cry leaving your lips against his own. He swallowed it, tongues connecting instantly in a sloppy kiss. 

“Only mine.”

He growls in a low voice against your lips. Glaring directly into your eyes with the tightest grip on your hip and hair. And though he searched for any guilt from you, he was met with your own angry glares, getting fed up with his elongated foreplay.

“I do want it. I’ve wanted it for so long but I was not going to give you the satisfaction of touching me just yet. Call this your actual Christmas present.” 

Your voice filled with its own pent-up irritation, glaring at him the longer he kept you from feeling good just because of his jealousy fits. Here he could see you hadn’t put it all past you but instead ignoring it until he fucked your brains out. He didn’t know whether to laugh or continue his bitterness but what he did know was that his dick was hard and hurting from his own restraint. 

“And I beg that you release all your frustrations out right now because my abstinence better be worth it.” You let out through gritted teeth, eliciting a bitter and angry chuckle from him. “Because one of us has to be loyal.” Your pupils shake, enlarging the second he releases his grip and harshly pushes your head away. 

Your labored breath became louder every second he shuffled behind you. His tight grip on your hip pulling you towards him whilst his tip rubbed against your delicate cunt. For a moment he halted any of his actions, the background noises becoming overwhelming and your throat betraying you by releasing silent cries. At least only you could hear them.

But he took that silence away, letting strings of spit slide from his tongue to your entrance and using it as extra lubricant before penetrating you. He was different from Mark. While Mark was long, Haechan was girthy and with just the first few centimeters in, you could feel the stretch his fingers hadn’t granted you.

Those earlier cries became louder, struggling to cover your mouth the longer he pushed himself in you. It wasn’t painful but it felt foreign . It had been months since he’s been in you that your body was beginning to forget how he felt. While he hadn’t moved just yet, his pretty groans became the source of your satisfaction. 

It didn’t take him long to start moving. His strokes were slow but long, rugged if you will but they knocked pretty disgruntled noises out of you and that was enough for you both. 

While he thrusted into you, his hands moved from your hips to your waist all the way to your breast. His warm hands enveloping them, massaging and squeezing softly.

His hands were soft in comparison to Mark’s that became calloused the longer he continued with harsher techniques in his projects. They’re also warmer, was it because of the sun coming out or his body temperature; you found yourself to rejoice in his touch.

In that instance his thrust became harder, fingers toying and twisting your nipples before pinching them. First softly then hard enough to elicit a masochistic cry. “Hyuckie!” You yelp in pleasure, hair covering your pretty face. He lets one of his hands fall from your tit, reaching for your hair and pushing it away just to see how your features contorted for him.

Just like you enjoyed seeing his soiled face, he liked seeing your expressions from pleasure.

“Scream my name all you want. No one’s here but you and I!” Donghyuck laughs, kissing your sweaty skin with each of his thrusts. But it wasn’t just you two, there will always be Mark.

Having woken up minutes prior; Mark’s habit of searching for you early in the morning led him to tip-toe around the house searching for any sign of you — and your husband to avoid problems — but when he had no luck even in the pits of the basement, he knew there was only two options at hand.

One: Hyuck and you abandoned him for the grocery shopping you both had mentioned in the car ride. Or two: his dear best friend had taken you to the beach. And given the car and keys were where they had been placed last night, the clear choice was the latter. 

Not giving it much thought and only pulling the sweater he tossed on the couch the night prior, Mark groggily made his way behind the house. Dragging his feet and blocking the incoming sun rays with his hand. Struggling through branches and pesky rocks; Mark knew he’d be disappointed the second he saw you two but he didn’t expect to be heart broken.

At most Mark expected to see you two hold tightly like you had been when arriving to Magi’s house or holding hands while walking along the shoreline but here he was hiding behind a boulder, freezing from the shade and breeze, and witnessing his best friend fucking you. 

Donghyuck no longer held you from behind, instead he had helped you onto your back. With one leg up on his shoulder and another around his waist, the position made him go deeper than before. All Mark could focus on was your moans. They were so genuine and raw that it broke him when he heard you utter: “Fuck, I missed you...”

He didn’t notice when his mouth had gone agape or when his chest began feeling heavy but Mark felt sick and no one could fix that. It didn’t help that Hyuck took your lips with his, ensuing in a passionate kiss that held both of your anger and desire whilst spewing vile on how you were his and his alone. The only thing holding him up is that you didn’t confirm his statement.

Mark wanted nothing more than to stomp where you two laid and tear Hyuck apart from you. To feel his clenched fist come in contact with his perfect cheeks and not stop until that crimson liquid he’s always been scared of told him to stop. He wanted to keep his best friend away from you and tell him to never come near you again. Scream how you were his and his alone— just like Hyuck was claiming for himself.

But he couldn’t move. His feet had sunk in the wet sand and his legs felt weak. He only had the willpower to move a few more steps and it was either his impulses or head back home and slump in the comfort of his room. Yes, Mark has decided to wallow his sorrows privately.

With a knot in his throat, Mark dared not look behind and instead walked as quickly as his wobbly legs allowed him. His hope hadn’t dwindled but it had been hurt.

While Mark tried maintaining his composure, not allowing his world to come crashing around him for the second time this year, both you and your husband remained clueless. Too enthralled with the pleasure and satisfaction you both granted each other.

Holding off for months was beginning to catch up with Donghyuck and it showed with the pained cries he’d spill whenever he felt himself close. Each thrust he gave, you could feel spurts of precum shoot into you and slide against your walls, just for them to coat his cock and push it further in. 

You had lied about your abstinence but sex was sex and you had been craving his touch for a while. You just had to settle for Mark for the time being. Whimpers and moans escaped your lips, begging him to swallow them every time you’d pull him by the hair, connecting your lips in sloppy kisses. 

Amused by your reaction, Haechan laughed into the kiss, teeth nipping your lips and occasionally tongue before caressing it with his own to soothe the sting. He wouldn’t let the kiss last for too long, opting to see you whine from the separation. It’s the least suffering he could cause you in the meantime. 

“Close?” He questions, his palm holding your upper thigh close to his waist. By this angle his pelvic bone began creating friction against your clit. Fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs, mouth leaving a trail of kisses from your lips to neck and chest. 

His teeth teased your nipples, scraping them along the warm flesh to deliver a sharp bite that resulted in you crying masochistically, pushing his head further to have him do it again. Your free hand scratched his back, digging into his flesh and moaning along his pained groans. 

Even in sex you two had to hurt each other.

“Finish me off, Hyuckie. I can’t last longer and I know neither can you…” You mewl, tugging his hair to let him know you wanted his attention. He looked up at you through lashes, moisture clinging to them, perhaps in the process his eyes watered. 

Words wouldn’t leave his pretty plump lips though. Instead he nodded, leaning in to capture your lips between his, rushing his thrusts and making them rougher. You liked feeling him stretch you out more, feeling him squeeze in as the perfect fit and feel his tip kiss your walls. Coating them with his cum was your favorite part out of it all. 

A few more thrusts and heavily passionate kisses, your walls began clamping around him. Causing poor Donghyuck to feel sensitive at the pressure. It wasn’t long until he came; thus when he felt your legs shake around him and your grasp tightened, he knew his ecstasy was near. 

Crying and whimpering against his lips; your eyes shutting harshly at that tight knot in your lower stomach. Hyuck’s thrusts were getting sloppy, within seconds you felt him at your hilt and you couldn’t hold off much longer. That knot had loosened completely and sent you overboard, gushing around him with a loud moan, holding him for dear life against you; small praises and cooing leaving your lips.

“You know my body so well, I could have you like this forever…”

Your voice was the catalyst. With your heavy panting against his lips, Hyuck didn’t hold off anymore and allowed himself to come. You along with him whimpered at the feeling of being filled up with his load; a wave of pleasure washing through you both until it faded and all that was left was a tingling sensation that didn’t leave your bodies.

Opting to stay in that position for a bit longer, both your breathing had calmed down. Your nails didn’t rake harshly against him and his teeth no longer nipped at your skin sadistically. Now the kisses were soft to avoid speaking. Both knew if any words spilled, they’d leave an ache.

The minutes passed, all that was heard were waves crashing against each other and the boulders. It was warmer now and perhaps much later, enough for your friend back in the house to be awake. Hyuck was the one to take the initiative in getting off of you and cleaning you off with some of the water he packed. 

He didn’t speak and neither did you, the most you could muster was to look at him in silence, his soft touches creating a complex feeling in your heart. At that moment you too wanted to just leave and go back inside. 

“Did you eat breakfast?” “No. I went straight to the pool.”

He hums, putting his trunks back on and stuffing the towels in the beach bag. “Mark is probably awake. We can get something on the way to the market if he hasn’t made anything yet.” His voice was hoarse, with some laced pain on it. You gave him a side smile, tying back the swim suit and placing a beach dress over. 

“He’d smoke a pack before eating breakfast. Sometimes I have to force him to have a proper meal.” You giggle, shaking off the sand from the blanket you two laid upon minutes prior. Haechan forces out a laugh, his smile quickly fades.

 Right. You took care of Mark. 

Donghyuck had expected this experience to make him feel better about his marriage. He wanted to think this was meant to settle the peace between you both but instead he felt worse. His chest felt warm and heavy and his eyes threatened to spill tears. Some had during the act but he did his best to not weep. 

He fully understood the marriage turning this way was his fault, you had told him so many times even insinuated it way before he met the catering girl but that didn’t hurt as much. He was comfortable enough with how things went on between you two before Mark arrived. At least if it meant that it was him the one you’d think about. The only one you’d both love and hate.

What did make him feel this way was hearing you come into the room after 3 AM and smell like his best friend. How often you spend time with Mark and enjoy his company. And worst of all is that you hadn’t put anything behind.

 The reason you had been civil with Donghyuck was simply because Mark was there to satiate your needs. It had only gotten to this point of accepting his touch because you were starting to get bored of Mark just like you had with him not too early into the marriage. Or so he thinks, that is was your actions are making both believe at least.

There were only a few steps left to reach the top. While Hyuck was contemplating this bond, you seemed the most aloof. There was some brightness to you and a careless attitude. On one of those steps you turned to look at him, his face was getting red and you knew it wasn’t from the sun. Something was bothering him.

It’s not like you cared to know but that gloominess was interfering with your relaxation. Stopping on your tracks and pulling him along, Hyuck throws you a confused look. You didn’t say anything yet, you simply smiled at him softly and caressed his warm cheek. He eased into your touch, feeling your soft fingers dance across his taut skin.

“I love you, Donghyuck.” 

As much as he’s yearned hearing those words, this time he doesn’t know how much to believe them anymore. 

“I love you too.”

They came out in a whisper, one you swallowed upon connecting your lips one last time that moment. He didn’t want to think much about it. There was a chance you were lying or that like him, you loved him in a baneful way. 

Yes, that is most plausible.

He wasn’t the only one to hear your profession of love. Poor Mark had lounged around the back porch with a pack of cigarettes to his side. Like said before it wasn’t too long until you two reached the top and though you didn’t intend for Mark to hear or see everything he has this morning— it just happened.

Reaching the top by the time Mark let out a puff of smoke in desperation; a sigh at most. Smelling that familiar stench, you both turned to see him lying upon the white outdoors couch his father had decorated with. 

“Morning.” Hyuck breaks the ice, giving his friend a tender smile that you mimic. Mark didn’t dare look at you both for too long, nodding in return while taking a sip of his drink. “Morning; Where were you guys?” He questions with a little pep in his words, trying his best to hide any negative emotion.

“Wanted to swim for a bit but the water was cold. Hey, did you have breakfast already? We can catch something to eat on the road before we get everything.” Mark lifts his cigarette with a smile before taking another drag, both you and Hyuck looking at each other remembering your conversation.

Hyuck chuckles with a nod. “Alright, gonna shower and we can leave after everyone’s ready, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” “Sounds good.”

He let go of your hand that second, not waiting for you to follow behind as he rushed to the bedroom’s bathroom. Despite the interaction, his feelings were still a painful turmoil and if he looked at either of you for too long in the moment, he’d end up breaking in front of both. 

Locking the door, Hyuck looks into the mirror before him. The bags beneath his eyes looked darker than before and his face had started to sink in. He didn’t look ill but he did look tired and sad. His cheeks weren’t as beautifully round in the time being and he knew that wasn’t good. After all, his round jumpy cheeks are your favorite thing about him. Maybe if he gained them back your ‘i love you’s’ would have real meaning to them.

He couldn’t contain it anymore. In the instance his thin fingers touched his equally thin face and let out that cry he’s been holding in this entire time. His tears felt boiling hot against his skin, the rivers of salt water wounding his face but that ache in chest was worse.

Donghyuck knew he still loved you. Hell, if he loved you through all the times you had called him useless, the times you avoided him during periods he felt like hell, and witnessed the times you made your own father cry by the way you treated him; then why wouldn’t he love you now that he accepted you yourself had an affair with his best friend? His brother. 

He wondered how much he loved Mark too. Mark the boy he spent years of childhood with all up to college when both parted ways. The boy he’d let stay at his house every time his father reprimanded him for the smallest things even if they weren’t a mistake. 

Mark was his wedding witness, the boy who approved of you when you two started dating and told him you were the perfect match. The boy who helped him find the perfect ring and arrangements. Mark and him have experienced many things together but sharing a lover is not one he thought they ever would. Especially not one he’s tied to by law and heart. As painful as it is.

Donghyuck bit into his fist before doing so into a towel, his silent sobs absorbed by the cloth. This was the best he could do without having you two hear him.

And while your husband is breaking to pieces in the shared bathroom, you make your way to the kitchen. Upon getting a water bottle, you felt the touch of two warm hands on your hips pulling you close to his body and turning you around to face him.

Mark didn’t show much expression, instead he pressed you against the cold steel doors. Looking at each other for a few seconds, he took initiative in connecting your lips. It shouldn’t have taken you by surprise the way it did but slowly you began to ease into his touch. You could taste the mixture of his cigarette and the orange juice he had been drinking.

Holding onto his shoulders, Mark’s own hands began to caress your body. One hand rested on your waist and the other went underneath your dress. He felt the warmth between your thighs. His fingers begin to caress the skin and make a silent gasp leave your lips. He took that opportunity to snake his tongue in your mouth. 

By the time he pushed the fabric of your bikini bottoms to the side, his fingers prodded your entrance making your gasp become audible this time. When you were to moan his name, the man before you halted his movement. He separated from the kiss as well, looking at you directly the second he felt the globs of cum cling to his fingers. 

Scooping it, Mark pulled his fingers out looking at them before you. He noticed the dark marks your husband sealed onto your skin. You were panting but there was no sign of regret on your face. Instead he was received with:

“What do you expect? He’s my husband.” 

A threatening smile on your end tried to form but Mark couldn’t produce any words. He felt speechless and too hurt to even say anything. His face held a mixture of disgust, anger, and sadness. 

With the simplest of words, you always manage to hurt them.

“Mark come on,” You call out, trying to get a hold of him but he avoids your touch. You softly scoff at the action but kept trying to at least ease the tension. “Come on, don’t be like that.” 

He didn’t know what to say. Mark knew you were right, Hyuck was your husband but that didn’t stop his heart from breaking any less. All this time he hadn’t mind since you two openly hated each other but the quick change up was affecting him.

“Honey— Oh? What are you guys doing?” 

Hyuck had come out of the restroom once his eyes had depuffed and he looked fine again. By the time he reached the kitchen he saw you two stand close to each other, a tense ambiance surrounding.

Mark threw you one last glance, “Nothing. I’m going to shower.” His voice sounded deeper and with that he walked away and to his own bathroom, leaving you alone with your husband again. Rather than tense, this one was awkward.

“The shower is ready, let’s go.” Haechan’s voice was laced with irritation.

The day you had been looking forward to this entire trip had come: New Year's Eve. The weather was finally thinking about the beach resident’s and decided it would be good to have the last day of the century be sunny all throughout. It may be December but a new millennium deserves a beautiful welcome. 

Despite Mark’s gloomy demeanor, the both of you had been trying all morning to get him out of his room. Every attempt had been a failure and though neither of you showed it, Hyuck was beginning to get annoyed about the ordeal. Specifically your attention getting directed towards the older male. You may have been trying to balance your attention to both men but their selfish demands were making things harder.

“I’ll go try again and if not then I guess we can just go.” You give your husband a side smile, handing him the dishes to dry from your late lunch. He turned the instant they were in his hands, rolling his eyes at your insistence. “Just give him space, it’s the house that’s putting him in that mood. Makes him think too much about his old man.” But he knew his dad wasn’t the only reason he was this temperamental.

A low sigh escapes your lips, walking towards him and enveloping him in a back hug. “I don’t want him to end the year like this.”  Your lips fell onto his neck, warm and soft on the flesh. He hated how much he enjoyed it. He doesn’t say anything, he simply shrugs with a low groan.

Donghyuck himself hadn’t been pleasant after the beach rendezvous, if anything he had gotten distant and silent. He always did this after sex but the worst part is that it drew you towards him in hopes to get more than a few words out of him. To get more affection. His affection.

While in the past he did it out of his selfish ways of obtaining gratification, this time he did it to avoid seeing how worried you had been for Mark. After the shower, you all had lunch in town and even browsed around the area, getting groceries for tonight. But while at it, he didn’t miss your subtle glances towards his friend who trudged behind the two of you. 

If he left you two alone for just a second, he’d come back to the image of you whispering something to Mark who in return said nothing or hummed. It was no different for the remainder of the day whenever he was around but when it was just you two, it seemed like you remembered he was the one you married. 

It’s not that you wanted to comfort them. You just wanted the reassurance that they were still eating from the palm of your hand and their little hissy fits were annoying you. At least for Donghyuck, he didn’t leave your side often and even now he was doing what you wanted him to— just reluctantly. As always. 

As for Mark, he was being a nuisance. He was brooding like a teenager that didn’t get the car he wanted and was taking it out on all of you. Didn’t he understand that you were still married? You have to fill your role once in a while and if he hadn’t been so clingy for the past few months, you probably wouldn’t feel the need to try and get a breath of fresh air with Haechan.

Your worried facade fell the second you got out of Hyuck’s view and walked towards Mark’s bedroom. You didn’t knock, you had gotten used to walking in his room unannounced that he didn’t think about it either when he heard the creaky hinges. 

“Move.” His sprawled limbs unconsciously responded to your words, scooting to one side of the bed and relaxing the second your weight dipped the mattress. All this time you hadn’t crossed the threshold of his bedroom. Compared to the one you and Donghyuck slept in; Mark’s was smaller with a horrid brown carpet and green walls.

His night stands were small of a bright yellow wood that did nothing to look good in the dark room. As ugly as the layout was, there were many trinkets of his childhood. From the multiple baseball lamps, cowboys, toy soldiers, and comics stacked on a desk that complimented the nightstands. 

You’d say the most exciting part were the glowing stars stuck to the ceiling but by now they probably didn’t work anymore. His Poison Girl Friend, Depeche Mode, and Soda Stereo posters were wrinkled and on the brink of falling from the walls. 

In every corner there were noticeable traces of all the years he was able to stay up until the last time his father told him he wasn’t allowed anymore. The most notable was the CD he was listening to now; the soft melody of Sade’s voice unconsciously making him stare intently at you.

‘I gave you all my love, I gave you all that I have inside and you took my love. I keep crying, I keep trying for you. There’ s nothing like you and I, baby…’

“I thought you didn’t like sports.” You smile up at him, scooting closer and closer but he doesn’t budge. His lips don’t move and his eyes tear away from you, glancing quickly at his lamps before looking up at the ceiling. 

With no response and your patience beginning to run out, you turn to him. In a few quick moves your hands encased his face and brought your lips to his, landing a soft kiss against them. As angry as he was, he would never deny you a kiss. His mind, soul, and body took over allowing him to return it, shifting to where it was comfortable. 

His hands took a hold of your waist, holding to you for dear life. His body missed you and it showed with the way he caressed you. His large hands slowly make their way under your shirt, squeezing your sides while his teeth softly nip your lower lip eliciting a gasp granting him access to your mouth and slipping his tongue. 

“You can’t keep doing this…” He moans against your lips, deepening the kiss and bringing your body closer to him. You wanted to ask what he meant but it was quite obvious. Mark didn’t follow up, rather basking in the comfort of your body and mouth. Enjoying the sweet taste of the blueberry parfait you had for lunch, on your tongue. 

He missed this. He missed having you all for himself, having you near him. Today’s kiss felt nothing like that day and as much as the memory pains him, he’s going to enjoy these few minutes. 

His tongue caressed yours one last time before both your lungs decided they needed some relief. Panting when separating, Mark kisses the side of your mouth before admiring your features. “You’re forgetting about me now that he wants to touch you?” His voice was much harsher than he intended but that deep rooted anger seemed to be winning. 

Your smile falters, “Are you still mad at me?” The mixture of annoyance and worry interlacing in your voice. “He’s still my husband, Ma—” He cut you off with a scoff, throwing his head back and opting to lay on his back once again. “So what? Suddenly you care that he is? What about all these months you’ve been with me?” He didn’t dare look at you, he was afraid you’d have that pout that always made him cave.

“Why are you even acting this way all of a sudden? Out of nowhere you two like each other again? Do you want me to remind you how I saw you two the day I arrived at the apartment?” He tried to shut his mouth but it had a brain of its own. Mark was beyond annoyed with your actions and neglect. 

“I guess we just made peace for now.” Your meek response brewed a scowl on his face, shaking his head in response. “What about our plans, y/n? I already told you to go with me. You were so miserable before I got here, do you really want that again? I leave tomorrow. I thought you didn’t want me to leave. Isn’t that why this all started? I’m the only one here for you.”

Mark didn’t seem to hold back any longer. Envy and rage were consuming him the longer he held everything in. He was right, without him, you and Hyuck would probably live like strangers til now with only arguments as communication. 

With a heavy heart and gloom look on your face — hiding your frustration — you come closer to him. Returning that chaste kiss on the corner of his lip and wrapping your arm around him as you lay your head on his chest. “Don’t be that way, Mark. I don’t want to end the year and start a new one with you like this. I’m here now aren’t I?”

Truly you wanted to let out a scoff but your words seemed to do it for him. He was convinced worry had washed upon you. 

“I need you. You know that, right?” “You need me?”

“More than anything.”

You wanted to tell him he was an idiot but you were glad needed you. Yeah, he was now going to use that.

What made it better for him was that Hyuck had just passed by and saw the way you clung to Mark’s body. He was able to see the life drain out of his best friend’s being. His color became dull and his face dropped. You couldn’t hear it but Mark fully heard Haechan’s heart break and stomach drop at the image. 

It was his turn to rub it in his face. 

“What’s going on?” His shaky voice made you separate from Mark, sitting up in panic and a thumping heart. But God were you good at hiding your emotions. When your eyes had met with Hyuck’s you threw him a quick smile, stretching your hand out for him to take. He was hesitant, not wanting you to see how shaky he had become but he took it nonetheless. 

Mark hadn’t sat up to see what you two were doing but he could feel the movement on the side of the bed and the dip on the large mattress when you had pulled your husband onto it. Your attention was again taken away from him, as was your touch. 

How quickly his spell died within you.

“Telling Mark he should enjoy the last day. It’s either that or welcome the century a loser. His choice.” You joked. Hyuck released an airy laugh, shaking his head. “You want to get out of the house, dude? Some of the locals just dropped off an invite for a beach New Year’s party.” His soft hands reached to envelope you the way you had Mark.

“If you guys are cool with it.” It’s all he musters. “Then it’s settled. Now, I need all of you to finish cleaning around and get ready for dinner.” You playfully glare at both, in return Haechan smiles, kissing you tenderly as a response; Mark a spectator to his demise. 

While cleaning around his bedroom and the rooms you had told him to, worked to distract him in the meantime. Those same ill thoughts gushed through his brain the minute he was done getting ready. Looking at himself through the mirror. Glancing at his every detail, Mark sighs in hopes that tomorrow his plans flourish.

From times Hyuck stayed home during the weekends it was never this bad. You always avoided him and opted to spend time with Mark but things had taken a turn this time. Your husband stuck to your hip and you didn’t seem to mind. Especially not after telling him you loved him. 

Regardless if there was something Mark had, it was hope and he hoped that tomorrow by this hour you two will be putting away your items into a moving truck to place in his new apartment. This millennium is going to be a new start for you both. Together.

In the process of making his way to the living room, Mark saw no sign of either of you. Smoothening his dress shirt while picking at the side dishes. All these hours of malnourishment were finally getting to him. He just hoped you didn’t scold him for not eating or for messing up the presentation of your dish.

This was something else that seemed to make him realize how much Donghyuck was impeding what you two had. Never in the past months have you let Mark skip meals but these few days, you barely checked up on him. How can things go south so quickly? While Mark internally complained about the changes, your husband calmly sat on the same couch Mark had lounged on that awful afternoon.

Donghyuck sat pensive, a cigarette in hand and a six pack on the glass table. Worry and sadness were visible but Mark didn’t pry. His mind only cared for his problems and feelings about you. He couldn’t care less that Hyuck legally had you.

Mark’s only solace were your passionate kisses and tender words from earlier letting him know you were there for him. How you didn’t make excuses on why you held him earlier the second Haechan saw you two. Or how before this trip, you’d always run to him rather than Hyuck when in need of company. 

You wanted him, not Donghyuck. He’s sure of it.

“Invite next time.” Mark laughs, playfully slapping off his friend’s feet from the table so he can pass by. Sitting besides the younger of the two, Mark glances at him, an awkward smile following behind. Donghyuck returns it while handing him a bottle and the box of cigarettes he found on your night stand. You didn’t smoke but it seemed like you kept some for Mark.

“It’s been a long run, dude.” Mark continues. Despite holding resentment, Donghyuck will always be his savior and best friend. “It has, hasn't it? Almost thirty years together.” The honey brunette laughs, blowing smoke out and taking a swig of his drink. “It kind of sucks we didn’t get to spend the time you were with us together. Sorry about that.”

Donghyuck’s head hangs low, the cigarette between his lips dropping ashes on the floor. In a sense Mark shared that sentiment. Deep down behind the rancor and hate, he loved Donghyuck. Even if Donghyuck himself wondered how much he loved Mark.

“You leave tomorrow and all I can take away from your stay is this trip.” Despondency held tight onto his words. What he truly took away was his betrayal but sometimes he was a coward and opted to stay silent. “Really wish we did more.” He sighs, Mark’s gaze floods with apologies. 

Mark didn’t understand why his guilt was manifesting itself now. Maybe because it was just them two and your presence didn’t cloud his judgment. The possibilities are endless but when it’s just them two— Mark is aware that Donghyuck has always been there to take care of him. Kinda like you take care of him.

While in the past he was aware he slept with his best friend’s wife and was wrong in a sense. Now it was punching his chest while screaming that he was an asshole. He didn’t know whether to take responsibility or blame his father’s home for cursing his existence. Maybe if you three didn’t stay here things would’ve been different and he’d gone back to not feeling as much remorse.

“We have an entire lifetime to do things together, Hyuck.” Mark finally gets a word in, exhaling through his nose while his fingers thread through his hair. A smile tugged at his lips, turning to his friend to deliver. The other returns it, a contagious chuckle plaguing both.

“Remember when your dad bought the play set and placed it by the beach between the boulders?” The image of younger Mark and Donghyuck around the ages of seven running around the slippery sand painted itself on Donghyuck’s brain. He closes his eyes, those warm hues of the summer’s sky were memorable.

Mark laughs, taking large gulps of his now warm drink. Sticking his tongue out from the disgusting taste. “And we turned it to face the beach because we thought the slide was long enough for us to slide all the way into the water. Just for you to slip on the steps and I slid straight into a boulder—”

“And we both broke our arms!” 

The two said in unison, laughing at the memory. This is one of the things they could share. “Some stupid seaweed stuck to my foot and it made me slip. I just remember screaming on the way down and waking up in the room with the cast already on.” Donghyuck speaks through laughs.

Mark mimics the action, the smoke of both their cigarettes getting to him. “Dad was so mad when Taeyong ran screaming about what happened but he was more concerned with the fact that he dropped his bucket of crabs inside the house than us.” Mr. Lee has always cared more about the materialistic aspect than his own family, even at such an early age. Regardless, that was the only time he’s seen Mark’s father care for his friend. 

“It’s kind of surreal I’m not gonna see you guys anymore until who knows when. I’ve gotten so used to you; it’s a little different from when I used to see you all the time as kids and growing up but living with you has changed everything.” 

“How so?” Donghyuck was curious what he meant. Yes, things have changed but he wanted to hear his friend’s reasons. “For starters, I got closer to y/n.” Mark had no malice in his words but Hyuck didn’t see it that way. He was already on edge for the way he saw you two earlier and all the occurrences in the past month so the mere mention of you was throwing away that sweet moment they just shared. 

Haechan’s tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek, shoulders tensing while glaring at Mark. The older one doesn't notice just yet. As his eyes rake Mark’s figure, they spot a familiar piece wrapped tightly onto his wrist. Compared to your bracelet, Mark’s was worn out and a few threads from ripping off. The beads had lost their color and the once bright blue was now faint, almost gray. 

“I can tell.” There no longer was warmth to Hyuck’s voice. It was hoarse and deep, clogging Mark’s eardrums and forcing him to look at his younger friend. That intense and angry glare confusing him but when it comes to you, even he can’t help but get defensive. 

Mark squints, taking the last sip of his drink and tossing the bottle to the side. “I’d say she probably took your spot as best friend.” He jokes but it doesn’t translate well with Donghyuck who bitterly chuckles. “She said the same before she gave me these.” Pulling down the collar of his shirt, Hyuck points at the slowly fading markings on his neck. 

That’s when things came crashing upon Mark. His comfort and happy bubble had burst and reality flooded around him. Why would Donghyuck just blatantly hurt him like this? Rub in that he could show off your love publicly while he had to hide it.

“Looks like I have a new best friend.” Mark ignores the action, inhaling harshly against the cigarette butt not caring about the stinging warmth against his fingers. “But you’re my best friend.” Hyuck whines, his voice playfully pitched but his eyes dark and sharp.

“And if I replace you?” Mark taunts the younger, raising an eyebrow in defiance. When Hyuck was to answer, the clicking of heels distracted them. Turning to the interruption, the two gawked at your figure. The glare of your sparkling dress was brighter than the lightbulb outside. If anyone saw, they looked like moths attracted to a light source.

While fixing your hair delicately, the two admired how the fabric hugged your every crevice. How it wasn’t long enough to cover your legs, the legs they loved so much. And when looking up directly at your face, makeup only enhanced how beautiful they already found you.

“Can one of you zip up my dress? I just did my nails.” You explain walking closer to them. Naturally Hyuck was going to stand up to do so however Mark had beaten him to it. Smiling at you who in return ignored it while blowing at your hands, fanning them to quicken the process.

You didn’t care who had taken the responsibility but they did. While Mark basked in the joy of doing these small things for you, Donghyuck glared at what happened before him. He couldn’t directly see how Mark slowly pulled at the small zipper. His fingers traced patterns on your back to have a feel of you just one more time. Even if it was this simple. And when he found the metal to reach its end, disappointment wasn't too grand as he was able to enjoy your body again.

 “There.” Mark says with a smile pulling away. He hadn’t fully forgotten about the younger male but he would much rather enjoy your presence. “Thank you.” You return the gesture, throwing him a soft toothy smile. 

How he loved your smile.

“You look beautiful, honey.” An aggravating voice cut through the moment. Pulling you towards him, Donghyuck takes you into his arms after spinning you around. You giggle at his comment, patting his chest to calm the giddiness. 

“You think so?” Your eyelashes flutter trying to avoid his gaze, glad the blush from makeup could disguise the warmth rising onto your face. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know, y/n.” He confirms in a husky voice, his lips slotting with yours in a quick tender kiss to not ruin your lipstick. Not that it matters, in minutes it’ll be gone with the final dinner.

Reluctantly separating, Donghyuck chuckles when your eyes meet. Satisfied with the shy smile slapped across your face. “Right, Mark?” He looks at his friend, head lifting slightly just to see how his body will react.

It was to say that Mark had been taken aback. Worst yet, when you turned to look at him, a sheer blank expression was there in comparison to how you looked at Donghyuck just seconds prior. 

It’s fine. It’s fine, you have to put up a front — like you have with Hyuck — before you two leave tomorrow and leave this smug asshole behind.

“Yeah. Truth be told you are, y/n.” His voice had dropped an octave. Taking the box of cigarettes from the table, Mark turns on his heel towards the house. “I’ll get the wine from the basement.” Leaving you two behind and the clanking of his dress shoes following him.

The interaction had soured the mood. When minutes prior you two happily kissed, right now Donghyuck was battling with his tongue to keep itself shut. But not even biting it was going to make him avoid the following conversation. 

Once inside and placing the plates for dinner; Hyuck’s tongue had won the battle against his teeth and the brewing venom slowly slips. “Y/n?” He calls out, smoothening the cloth napkins. You don’t spare him a glance, humming in response with a scowl when noticing Mark’s traces in one of the side dishes.  

“I know you and Mark have gotten close but could the affection dial down?” Your attention was now fully on his words. While you enjoy knowing he’s growing weary, a part of you feels annoyed at his request. “What do you mean?” Your actions stopped, attentive to whatever he has to say towards the subject. 

He looks at you momentarily before placing the cutlery. His shoes try their best to distract with their squeaky sound. “There’s hugging him as a greeting and then there’s hugging him while laying in bed. Or him zipping you up. There's a limit to things y/n.” 

The cascade of silent meek words had instead furthered your irritation. Turning to fully face him, indignation smothered your face. “Why? Do you not trust me?” He refuses to look at you, resting his weight on his extended arms against the table.

“I didn’t say that.” “Sounds like it.”

He feels your persistent glare, the radiating heat burning holes into his flesh. Hell, he could see the smoke wafting towards his eyes to keep him blind. However Donghyuck musters a deep sigh, rubbing at said organs with defeat.

“I just want you to care for my concerns.” 

Mark’s presence didn’t allow for your vexatious response. For the most part you were glad; this was bound to go south with you throwing in his face what he’s done. The cycle will never end. At least for now you’ll rest assured that he’s aching like you’ve wanted him to.

Subsequently the dinner was tough to go through. While small talk made itself present, it was never long enough unlike the clinking of glasses, cutlery, and the background noise of the TV informing you all of how in hours the transition to the new year will be made. Things followed that way until you all got ready again and made your way to the beach.

While it wasn’t crossing the line to Mr. Lee’s property, it wasn’t far enough for you all to drive there. With around three glasses of wine down, two shots, and the beer bottle in each one of your hands; claiming you two were being boring, Mark had managed to tranquilize the ambiance and get you two to relax.

Through giggles or full on cackling, both men argued while recalling yet again another one of their anecdotes in this same beach. Most of them being of the torment they made Mark’s older brother Taeyong endure. 

“You guys suck. I know what it feels to see their pet be made into a meal.” You pout at the story they had just finished telling. A butterfly effect had taken place that summer when the boys broke their arms. To tease the older of the three; Mark and Donghyuck had tossed his pet crabs around the beach. Through tears and whining from Taeyong, Mr. Lee had forced them to chase after the few they could salvage. 

But their chances were slim and given the play set was already in their search area, the faith of the youngest two had been told. Mark’s and Donghyuck’s malicious actions led to a temporarily long painful period. Sadly to say that even Taeyong suffered from the happenings. Mr. Lee had already been angry at the boy’s actions regarding the crabs and when his eldest son had rushed in exasperatedly to the point he dropped the bucket of said pets inside the home— their faith had been sealed the instant Lee senior blamed them for everything. 

That afternoon arriving from the hospital, Taeyong’s pets had become a delicious meal for the Lee family. Much to Taeyong’s disapproval and hunger strike that week.

“Come on pretty girl. We were like, what? Seven?” Hyuck defends in between laughs, his arm wraps around your shoulders to leave a sloppy kiss on your cheek. You scowl at the action, a smile following suit when he leaves another one to tease you. 

While Mark wasn’t enjoying the view, he didn’t want to sour the mood. You all had finally been able to go back to what you’ve all known and he knew how much it meant to you to end and start the year well. If he has to cut off his tongue and gouge his eyes out to keep the peace, then so be it.

“I would’ve cared but those little shits always pinched me any chance they had.” Mark spews jokingly, pinching Hyuck softly to emulate the pets. Comically exclaiming his pain, Donghyuck adds a quick jump to his step. Alcohol was getting to them but you won’t complain. Behind the remorse, you wanted to see your boys happy too. At least for now.

“Yeah, well it’s not fun being excited for your meal and suddenly while you’re almost done your family drops the fact that you’re eating your pet made into a pot roast.” The memory of Lola, your cow will always live in your heart. Even if she was a cunt.

“Pot roast sounds so good right now.” Donghyuck’s jesting insensitivity made Mark almost choke on his beer, coughing through laughter while you shove Hyuck off you. “Oh come on!” He laughs, trailing behind you until he grasps your waist and pulls you close to him.

He tries to contain his laughter but it escapes regardless. You weren’t mad to say the least, you just enjoyed teasing him in a different way. Resting his chin on your exposed shoulder, the honey brunette turns to kiss the crook of your neck. The smell of alcohol embedding itself on your skin.

 “Isn’t Lola the one who kicked you? That you fell into the mud?” But no one could win against his mockery. “Well…” This time you couldn’t help but laugh along, the melody from your throat letting the other two know it was fine to laugh too. “It was a really good pot roast.” 

Through laughter, jokes, teasing, and more drinking; within minutes the three of you found yourselves by the shoreline viewing the ebullience of every partygoer. String lights amongst every pole, clumps of people drinking and dancing amongst themselves. For miles all you could see were masses with glasses reading ‘2000’ or mardi gras beads.

Greeted with sparklers and beaded necklaces around your necks, the three of you swished the wands around. The yellow sparks fly off and dwindle quickly. “In case our bank accounts get drained or locked in a few hours… Cheers!” 

It hasn’t been the easiest year or for that matter the best last years of the decade but if for just this night you’d all ignore your wrong doings then you’ll be assured that there’s something out for you. Seeing Donghyuck prance around with his best friend, the happiest smiles on their faces would have made you feel as giddy in the past but alcohol is treacherous.

While it treats them well, it’s tossing you around. Playing with your heart and brain, mocking you for what the universe will do to this friendship. You won’t deny that having Mark stay with you had brought back peace and happiness initially. But after a while of giving yourself to him, he became a bore, almost like you had drained him of any fun. 

Donghyuck had turned out that way long before his friend arrived. Maybe it was because of work and the exhaustion it piled on him. But he was more silent and avoided you, especially whenever he knew an argument would happen. It may have bothered you but you failed to see that your constant berating had made his light dwindle.

Seeing them act so freely amongst themselves, laughing as if nothing has happened stabbed your chest over and over. It wasn’t guilt or sadness. On one hand you hated seeing them this happy while you weren’t but on the other, you’re glad that at least they can enjoy their company until the older one leaves. And after so long this is the first time you’ve seen them cling to each other lovingly. Like the brothers they were before all this. 

But life will never grant you the gift of happiness. You’ve made too many mistakes to have that now.

While the hours passed in which you’d all laugh, danced, and sang about the bliss of life; Donghyuck parted momentarily from you two to get more drinks leaving you alone with Mark. The latter took this opportunity to close the gap Donghyuck had been occupying. Sliding his way to you and pressing himself against your back.

The sensation caught you off guard, exasperatedly looking around to make sure your husband wasn’t witnessing this. “Not here, he’ll get back soon.” You swallow the lump in your throat as your hands battled on whether to push him off or let the drunken lust win over.

A breathy sigh expelled from his lips, softly nipping where Donghyuck had kissed you upon arrival. “One last dance of the year, baby. You’ll kiss that asshole when the clock hits midnight let me have this at least.” The coarseness of his voice made your eyelashes flutter, the sensation of his chapped lips drawing you further into temptation. 

Maybe falling victim to your needs one last time wouldn’t hurt.

Your hips began swaying against his own, pressing your back further into his chest whilst he held you tightly. Both dancing to the sensual melody without a care of the outside world. The trail of his fingers against your exposed skin left a boiling feeling. Your blood attracted to his touch like the first time. 

You looked up at him through lashes, giggling when his own stare was glued to you. Mark himself chuckled when your eyes met, smiling while biting his inferior lip and leaning down to capture yours with his. Temptation had won against your restraints, forgetting that your husband wasn’t far away.

But a harsh tug made you stumble and the painful crack of Donghyuck’s knuckles against Mark’s cheek brought the two of you back to reality. Shock filled your body and your breathing felt short. It was all crashing down on you at the worst time. Twenty minutes till midnight, this will be your end.

“What’s your fucking deal, asshole?!” Mark angrily reproaches at his friend, holding his cheek, wincing with every touch. “What do you mean what’s my fucking deal? You’re kissing my wife, you dick.” Haechan pushes against Mark’s chest, making the latter stumble. He might be angry but a taunting chuckle leaves his lips.

“One of many times.”

“What did you say?!” Earning himself another push, this time nearly tripping over his feet. When he stabilized himself, he returned the gesture to the one assaulting him. “One of many times, dickhead! On your bed, couch, bathroom, kitchen, car, hours ago!” Definitely, Mark extends his arms in an open invitation to continue. 

“If you weren’t such an asshole she wouldn’t have looked for someone else that could treat her better.” He gnaws the inside of his mouth, wincing again when accidentally gracing his cheek. Alcohol had proven to betray Mark. Hours earlier it was his best friend and aided him in loosening up but now it was spewing all his wrong doings and rubbing it in his brother’s face.

“Hyuck, it was just a kiss. Please, don’t make a big deal.” Your attempts at calming the situation had failed, instead making him grow angrier. How can it be just a kiss when Mark just confessed about your affair? “One fucking kiss? You stink of him almost every night. But no only I’ve fucked up!”

Donghyuck clicks his tongue, shaking his head with irritation. “If anything she’s only doing it to piss me off. She only fucks you to get it out of her system. This whole time she hasn’t run to you now that she has me. Her husband.” His venom clung to Mark, etching down every single one of his words onto his mind. 

No. No, Mark knows you love him and you wouldn’t just use him. You love him. That word: husband. Husband can only mean so much when the people in the party are happy and not miserable like you all are. But why does it hurt every time it’s said without correlation to himself?

“You guys are fucking unbelievable. The year is about to end and you’re ruining it for me. You just had to be men, claiming and possessing as if we don’t have our own say. Useless as always!” Your angry words cut through their direct dialogue; turning to your figure walking away from the scene. People had started to pay attention however you’ll be damned before you’re the joke of any town.

They weren’t of any help, the two argued as they followed behind. Not too far to lose or not be associated with you. Regardless they’ll drag you down with them even if they don’t intend to.

“I’m tired of you throwing that word around as if it had any meaning to you. The same person that forgot his anniversary and left her crying and came back smelling like whores with cheap lipstick stains? Do I have to remind you how you threw the shirt away instead?” 

You had reached your wits ends. In the instance Mark’s words left regarding your husband’s second plausible affair, you stopped in your tracks to look at both. The fiery pits of hell decorating your pupils and rivers of agony pooling at your waterline. 

“But you reproach me about hugging mark? Are you fucking serious, Hyuck? Again?” A sob tried sneaking into your words, clutching onto your mouth to not let your voice betray you. You didn’t look back at them, if you knew anything about either is that Mark would smugly turn to Haechan and mock him while the latter tries to beg for more time.

Again. Donghyuck had been unfaithful to you in the past and just this night Mark was first hearing about it. Any guilt from earlier into the affair was now gone. If he could, so could you. The news might have killed him earlier but now he rejoices in knowing that no morality will stand between you and him anymore.

Donghyuck takes your hand into his. As much as you tug to get away from him, his grasp shows to have gotten stronger. “I haven't done anything! At most they threw themselves at me, you know the meetings are always at clubs, y/n. Please… I said I wouldn’t do this to you again, I promised.” The sob you failed to expel, he did instead. 

You tried avoiding his sad puppy dog eyes but his touch will always be a weakness of yours. Regardless, you won’t let him see your vulnerability. Mark had witnessed it and instead he was using it against his friend’s neglect. They were all the same.

“You haven’t done anything?” Your voice slips between your gritted teeth. He shakes his head exasperatedly trudging behind while you continue until you’re finally by the sliding doors of the porch. “Just like you didn’t do anything with your catering girl?!” 

The increase in tone of your voice catches both off guard. Confused but intrigued, Mark watches as you pull your arm from Haechan’s grasp while he’s left with trembling eyes. “I wish the cheek kisses were more than just that…” Hearing you recite the words, Donghyuck knew it was back to square one.

“Y/n, stop.” He begs, walking to reach you but you back away. “I want to hold you again and again. To wake by your side like last night. To feel your warmth and kisses until we both die.’ I want to hold you… feel your warmth until we die. You’re so full of shit.” The lump in your throat wouldn’t pass, it suffocated you with every passing second but it hurt more reminiscing the contents of those letters than dying from asphyxiation. 

While he may be part of this, Mark was out of place in this instance. He was just another spectator now like all those masses outside. 

“You can recite them all you want but I never lied to you about what happened.” His voice was apologetic with a lingering sadness after every word. “Right.” You roll your eyes, finally reaching for a glass of wine to sedate your anger. 

“Yes! I never lied to you about what went on unlike you! You said it was purely platonic between you two. Indignation all over your face when I brought it up then and today and you still want to act like I’m the only liar.” Even now you couldn’t find it in yourself to admit you were wrong. At least not anytime soon in this lifetime. 

Raising your glass with a shrug, “Okay, I fucked him. So what? You fucked her too. We’r–” “I never fucked her for fuck’s sake! Listen to me for once! I never fucked her! Kissed from time to time and slept in the same bed but we never fucked! You didn’t want to console me, so she did.” 

Mark had been the shoulder you cried on when Donghyuck’s actions broke your heart but now you’re leaving the stubbornness behind to understand he had his own shoulder to cry on. 

“You're supposed to be my best friend, my ride or die and instead you’re fucking my wife! You’re supposed to be my fucking brother!” Donghyuck screams out in a sob, turning on his heel to see a stunted Mark. The older of the three needed a long time to process what he was hearing. 

Time has run out for you all. It was too late to forgive and forget. The fireworks illuminating the dark outside and screams of glee embedding itself into all of your minds. January 1st, 2000: The end of the world to many but for you three in particular. 

All there left was disappointment and sadness. This isn’t how you wanted to start or end your year but consequences will always come to those with malicious intent. Even if it refers to revenge. 

“Always have to ruin everything.” You spit out, glaring at your husband and directing it to Mark. The words stung in Donghyuck’s fragile heart. Enduring years of your vicious words was making it harder for him.

Things went for worse when you took Mark’s wrist into your hand, dragging him towards his room. The younger’s heart began beating achingly at the image before him. His ears went hot and he felt light headed seeing his friend comply with you.

“Wh- where are you going?” His question went unanswered.

“Y/n! Where the fuck are you two going?!” Panic constrained his mind. Many scenarios played in his head and they all ended the same way. With you and Mark intertwined on the smooth sheets of the bed. Caresses and kisses over nude flesh while he could do nothing about it.

All through the transcript of dragging Mark to his bedroom and locking the both of you inside, Donghyuck hadn’t stopped his whining and crying. Begging you to not do anything stupid and for you to stop this torment. 

Truth be told, you believed that your husband hadn’t slept with the catering girl but it did hurt to know he went to someone else for comfort. While it is your fault he caused those extremities, you couldn’t help that rage within you. Bringing up the subject made you feel like that sixteen year old when your father’s way of coping with your mother’s death was by remarrying another woman. 

Why couldn’t any of them just cope your way? Why did they always have to resort to other women? If they couldn’t deal with how you wanted them to, you had to make sure they felt your pain, one way or another. 

The banging on Mark’s door kept getting louder by the minute. Donghyuck’s grueling cries begging you to get out of there brought a sense of peace while Mark felt terrified. He’s never heard Haechan beg like this for anything, not even as a child when he threw tantrums. 

Moreover, Mark’s senses began to calm down as Donghyuck’s banging did too. All that’s left was hearing the younger sob through the wall begging you to not do something stupid and to think about the marriage. Under the impression that you had dragged his friend to fuck under his nose, Donghyuck was distraught and broken. 

Once and for all, Mark felt triumph. He was the one you dragged inside with you. The one you’re laying next to even if it’s just to stare at the old glow in the dark stars stuck to his cieling. It was him you’ve chosen and that’s enough for him to know you loved him. Him, not your husband.

At what point did he go wrong? He’s always loved you even through insults and arguments that made his self esteem die. All he needed was someone to care for him in his lowest point and the person he needed most left for a three month work period. Leaving him to rot and wallow in the pain of mourning. 

While he may not have loved the seaweed girl, he liked that she was there for him. But maybe that’s where he went wrong. Using her and giving her hope led to his bad karma and here he was, begging his vengeful wife to not fuck his best friend, his brother for who knows how many times. To spare him of any more pain but it was hopeless. Hope is a dangerous thing for a man like him to have.

Haechan had lost a brother that year and now he’s lost another. 

The seasons had come to an agreement and decided to stick to what they’re known for. It was the coldest and gloomiest time to begin a millennium. In contrast to yesterday’s heat, today the prickling wind wouldn’t stop torturing your cheeks. 

Streets were empty and stores had at least a handful of people. Everyone was either rejoicing the world didn’t end or hung over from all the alcohol that coursed their bodies. You only hoped many didn’t start it the way you three did. 

“Welcome in! Order when you’re ready!” 

The diner at the train station was the most packed compared to any other store you’ve passed by. While the elderly waitresses greeted everyone that went in, Donghyuck and Mark found each other sitting silently in one of the booths. You had decided to order some coffees but the line was longer than expected.

Nothing went past subtle glances and sighs. If it wasn’t for the no smoking inside policy, Mark would’ve pulled one out by now to aid his restlessness. As the seconds passed and you didn’t come back, the older of the two sighed one last time and finally decided to open his mouth.

“We didn’t do anything last night.” Hyuck doesn’t question or care to continue. Unlike him, Mark’s conscience was corroding. If you were to leave with him in minutes, he wanted to make peace with his oldest friend. There’s a chance his father will keep him around and whenever he sees the two of you at functions, he doesn’t want things to be awkward. 

He shifts in his seat, leaning over the table. “I’m sorry things turned out this way. She’s just– I don’t know, she’s great.” He fondly chuckles yet Donghyuck’s chuckle was anything but that. If you were to follow Mark's plan, then Haechan hopes Mark can endure the hell you’ve put him through.

“I don’t care, Mark.” The eldest stops to look at his defeated friend. Hyuck had been playing with his wedding band while Mark talked and though it may cause a twinge of jealousy, it shouldn’t be long until he himself has one. RIght?

“I don’t care how things went. All I know is that you’re a fucking traitor. I could’ve expected this from anyone but not you.” Mark tries to apologize but Hyuck’s dark glare shuts him up. With all the pain he’s caused him, why is he acting like everything should be alright between the two? Maybe Mark and you did deserve each other. 

“You know you’ll always be my best friend right? My brother.” Mark’s words weren’t malicious but after everything, Hyuck can only stare at him before letting out a scoff that comes out as a chuckle, granting Mark a grin of disbelief. “Yeah. I believe you.”

Mark responds with a smile but the sour taste in his tongue can’t be scraped away. He’s aware Donghyuck is being sarcastic, he just hopes in the future that he’ll forgive him. As much as this unknown feeling pains him.

“Here, I didn’t want to prepare them and have you two annoy me if it was too sweet.” 

Nonchalantly you included yourself in their conversation as if last night’s scenario was nothing but a nightmare. Early in the morning you had woken them up, sweet talking both of them with a bright smile on your face. Things might have gone south but after a long restless night you weren’t going to let your year go to waste because of them. This is about you and you alone.

Consequently this is what Donghyuck was thinking about. How soon you were going to ignore any of your wrong doings and sweep them under the rug. You were going to force him to forget any ill word you’ve thrown at him for the sake of your peace without regard for his own.

He may be selfish now since the period of you finding out about his affair but he had learned from the best.

Regardless he couldn’t take it anymore and sought his way out towards the restroom where he could have some time alone. If he didn’t have at least five minutes he’d burst your bubble and it was best to not awaken that hurtful beast within.

Neither of you spared him a glance; raising your cup to be polite towards Mark, you take a sip of your coffee, biting your tongue after the liquid burnt it. “Do you want me to go get your ticket while he’s gone?” Mark breaks the ice again, his spoon swirling the mixture of liquids. 

“Hm?” Your confusion catches him off guard, mirroring your knitted eyebrows as you take another sip of the coffee. “Train ticket, y/n.” He nervously chuckles, the spoon in his hand clanking against the table. His words didn’t ring a bell in your mind and all it caused was for an anxious whirlwind in his chest to form.

“For what?”

“You’re leaving with me aren’t you? I mean, you stayed with me last night while he cried his heart out. That should mean something, right? It was your answer, right?”

His voice pitched increasingly the longer you gave him a blank stare. “That’s just a normal argument. Why? Did you get scared?” You giggle, throwing him a smile, acting like you didn’t just burn your tongue for a second time now. 

He tried his best to avoid the feeling of hate and sadness. In his brain you were just joking around with him. A part of him reassured him that at the last minute you’d tell Hyuck he could go to hell and you’d accompany Mark’s journey for eternity after. He was so sure of it after all he’s witnessed. But worry and doubt would never failed to fuck with him. 

“Y/n… Last night you– I love you, y/n.”

“How low can one get to sleep with his brother’s wife? I don't see that as love.”

The sentence had cut deep in him, enough that no type of medication could cure the ache in his heart.

“We had plans, y/n for fucks sake.” His voice cracked, lips trembling ready to cry. “No, you had plans.“ It slips through gritted teeth, his eyes sharp like your tongue that spewed venom into his heart. 

“If you took a second to listen to those plans, you’d realize how selfish and self centered they are.” You were beginning to get angry. Mostly for the fact that he’s bursting the bubble Hyuck was avoiding. The facade was over, Hyuck knew about you two, and Mark wasn’t being mindful of your own feelings. 

“How?” 

“How? I move out with you and start a new life in which I’ll be staying at home and you’ll work. How familiar does that sound?” The wind gushed outside, slapping the windows in order to make Mark put some effort. 

“It’ll be different…” he cleared his voice, it was meek and silent, an obvious restraint in wanting to admit it wasn’t too different from what you have right now. “How is it going to be different, Mark? Tell me how.” The whirlwind in your own chest contradicted his. While he felt anxious you grew annoyed.

“So are you leaving with me today or not?” Mark raised his head, finally looking you in the eye. There should be a part of you that preferred him regardless, no? After everything you two have experienced and the way he’s made you feel, why wouldn’t you choose him? He needs you for fuck’s sake.

Placing your cup down to look back at him, a grimace of annoyance decorated your lips. “You haven’t learnt anything have you?” You leaned over the table, feeling the lifting wood poking your ribcage. “My grandma always used to say: If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.“

“God can laugh but I still have my plans. Now it’s up to you if you slip out of his grasp and move in with me. I’ll figure out how to make it different eventually. I’ll be waiting for you.” His eyes betrayed the harsh tone in his voice but Mark wanted it to be clear that he’d do anything to cater to you. Even if it meant that you’d break his heart from time to time.

Mark looked outside the window, sand from the beach danced across the platform entrance. Like Donghyuck, he couldn’t bear being in your presence now. Accidentally bumping into the table while he stands, Mark makes way towards the door, not before throwing you one last glance. 

However you weren’t too keen on putting others over yourself.

“Donghyuck is my husband.” You spat, back angrily hitting the cold plastic booth backrest. In his desperate agony, he fumbled out the door with those same words ringing as loudly as the entrance bell. 

The mentioned man had gotten out not long after Mark had left, questioning his whereabouts but dismissed by you asking him to walk along the shoreline while you all waited for Mark’s train to arrive.

After speaking with Mark in which he took refuge in the platform benches, it allowed for both you and Hyuck to take the opportunity to bask in the presence of each other. 

What was there to say? Any argument and reproach had been screamed last night, enough to hurt everyone involved but mainly him. 

For someone that wanted to avoid a horrible start of a new age, you had failed and all that was left was the mixture of resentment and anger towards the two men in your current life. 

Hyuck similar to you, shared those sentiments with the exception he wasn’t too angry. Rather than so he was sad. Sad at the fact that his best friend, his brother, could've done that to him. To smile and laugh under his roof while fucking his wife and not feeling guilt whatsoever. In fact the bastard gloated as if you had chosen him instead.

While he had no room to judge, he still had the right to feel horrible about this now confirmed betrayal. He wondered if you felt this pain when you found out. You had expressed your anger through destroying the house and becoming cold towards him until Mark showed up but that was about it. He never had the chance to see you cry about what he had done and he believes he never will. 

You did cry of course. Despite the way you treated him and tossed him around, ignoring his cries for help, you still loved him. You loved how attentive and kind he was. You loved that he stuck by your side after your lashings and the nostalgia of how sweet he was when pursuing you. So to realize that there was a possibility of him doing all that for someone else broke you. 

Why would he confess profound love until his final breath just to go on and have a fling with the next girl that gave him attention while you’re gone? Well it was easy and while he started telling you last night, you needed more.

Stopping in your tracks, feet away from the platform and people; you turn to the ocean, watching the increased height of the crashing waves. Their splashing kisses your skin and the wind makes your hair dance across your face. 

When noticing, Hyuck turns his body to you, tucking away the strands behind your ear. His warm hand lingered for a few seconds on your cold damp cheek, staring with sorrow embedded into his pupils. It’s fascinating how often your bodies contradict each other. He didn’t say anything, all he did was look at you, eyes flickering across your stoic face. Many things crossed your mind but your face never showed it. 

Up until he dropped his hand and stood beside you to be consumed in the whirlwinds of today’s weather; your voice interrupted his silence. No thoughts in his head but now the melody of your voice swirled around in his cranium. 

“Do you think in another universe we could’ve been happy together?”

You didn’t turn but he does, the confusion on his face easing when the question washes over him. 

“Perhaps when we learn to fix our mistakes and flaws.” “What flaws? Yours?” “Right.”

He laughs exhaustedly. In this universe or any other, he didn’t believe you’ll ever be able to accept that you’ve also fucked up. It was notable that you were able to admit you and Mark had been fucking but even that you blamed on him. He wouldn’t complain, there’s no doubt that you did it out of spite but regardless he knew what he was talking about. 

You couldn’t wrap your head around last night’s information. Maybe because your affair consisted of pure carnal desire but you couldn’t understand how Donghyuck didn’t take that approach with the catering girl. 

“W-why her?..”

There was no intention for your words to come out shaky. What you feared was your walls starting to crack at this information. On his part, Hyuck didn’t want to speak much anymore. He knew if he told you more, you’d be upset and he feared you’d throw a fit again but your insistence by holding onto his arms and hesitating to pull him close was enough. 

Glancing at you with worry, he sighs. His head drops and turns to the sea hoping it could swallow him. “My brother died a week before and you left, y/n. You left me for three months when I needed you most and you barely answered any of my calls. And I know you didn’t just leave for work, I know you didn’t want to deal with me but she did.” 

Your world came crashing down on you. He was right, you did leave to not deal with his emotions to get away from him and to avoid the feeling of grief all over again. When his parents had come over to tell him the news it reminded you too much of your mother’s death. Sad part is that when you came back he too had replaced you with another woman the same way your father did with your mom. 

At the end of the day your plan had backfired on you. You didn’t know how to comfort him nor wanted to, dealing with the strong emotions of others was never your thing. But till this day you’re paying the consequences as he is. 

“She listened and comforted me. I guess I confused it with love because the second you came back all that flooded my mind was you regardless that you left me or all the times you called me useless for not doing things your way. You could add that to the reasons. She was nice, if I made a mistake she wouldn’t berate me and instead helped me with it. Why did you change, y/n? You were so sweet and suddenly you just… dropped the act.”

To hear it come from his mouth crushed your heart. To an extent you knew your actions would have led to this outcome but you always put the blame on him. 

You shrug, throwing him a quick glance. “I’ve always been like this, Hyuck.”

“No, the girl I fell in love with was sweet and playful. You became mean and cold after we got married.”

“You changed so much too. Once you started getting promotions you became such a pompous ass. Constantly staying out for meetings till 2 AM, always smelling like alcohol, and lessening the help at home. Then after the affair you gave up so fast in trying to amend anything that you became worse and that’s when the constant fighting began.”

He couldn’t forget of course. He still recalls you shredding to pieces the book of poems he wrote to you and binded. He felt his heart go when you had done that; watching his hard work and feelings just thrown away over a petty argument of who would walk the dog next. Sad to say when those poems were destroyed the dog went out next. Every fruit of your love withered little by little. 

Donghyuck took refuge in his job to stay away from you. Despite how in pain he was, he still had hope things would get better, that maybe you’d forget and try to work it out again. By the time Mark had arrived, that hope had died out and he was tired of the cycle that he just mimicked your way of treating him.

Nevertheless in the past months that you changed how you treated him, it blossomed again. Of course, good things never last and when his suspicions kept being thrown at his face, he understood what life had brought upon him. 

He hums as a response, sighing loudly in the process. “I don’t think we can be happy any time soon but at least this is making us actually talk about it now.” His deep voice adds, turning to you to get a sweet answer but he was simply met with a cheeky smile and: “So we’re even now?”

He laughs finding it unbelievable. No apology or anything of the sort. Some things won't change too fast but regardless his sentiment was similar. “Yeah. We’re even.”

A relieved smile spreads on your face, nodding in agreement. “Till death do us apart.” No matter how much you two confess your disdain for each other, you’ll always be together. Call it sadomasochism or exhausting familiarity but you and your husband are sticking together. 

All these years you were waiting for Donghyuck’s downfall and having him confess it has been happening all along had alleviated that weight on your shoulders. You had done it and he was paying for hurting you. Some sentiments never change but even with that information, you aren’t satisfied. What you two had was ruined and everyone involved ended up losing.

The locomotive was louder than expected. In addition the conductors and ticketing people were heard even from where you two stood. This was it, Mark’s time was over with you two.

Cocking his head for you to follow him; with hooked arms, the both of you make way to the bench where Mark sits nervously. His legs shake from either the cold or wondering if you’ll still leave with him. Even now that he sees how close and happy you and Hyuck look together, he’s willing to convince himself it’s another front.

“Got everything ready?” Hyuck calls out for his friend. Mark stands from his spot, nodding as he releases the smoke of his millionth cigarette. “Yeah, yeah. Just–” He lifts the stick between his fingers. “Can’t have one in there.” Mark chuckles, his vision removing itself from you two. 

“I’ll call you guys when I get to the apartment. Taeyong and mom are going to help me get the paintings out. Do you want me to do anything before I leave the key?” It was mostly directed at Donghyuck, that sliver of hope clinging tightly. You were the one to speak instead. 

“Maybe water the plants if they’re not dead yet.”

In recollection of what you two did together, Mark had remembered the plant you two helped sprout. The last time he paid attention to it, it was bright and green. Now he imagines it dull and dead. 

He nods with a tight lipped smile, inhaling from the warm cigarette butt. Silences lingered momentarily but Hyuck was the one to cut through it. “We’ll see you for your housewarming, alright?” Mark nods, standing when you two stopped clinging to each other.

“Take care, okay?” “Okay.” 

The hoarseness in his voice threatened him the longer he clung to Donghyuck. This was it for the two of them and he had thrown it out for lust. His only rock was leaving him. When it came to you, the hug wasn’t tight enough, something in his heart told him that you’ll be joining him soon.

But little by little as you and Donghyuck make way down the steps and out the platform, he wonders how much longer till you run back inside to get your ticket.

His hope had dwindled slowly back at the diner when you had cruelly crushed his expectations. Up until now that flame was left but not seeing even your locks had turned it off. All that is left is the delusional idea that you’d actually fall through with the plans he made for the both of you. Chances fell slim the closer last call came around. 

There was no trace of you or Hyuck outside the station, all there left was the cold winter with the addition of families or couples enjoying themselves oblivious to his pain dispersing through his entire body. 

His teeth shattered while he shivered, the cigarette in between his lips doing nothing for comfort or warmth; Mark was alone and cold. The only source of physicality came from the ticket staff to let him know this was the last call before the train left. He nodded, giving one last look around, feeling his face scrunch up after ridding of his cigarette. 

The cold bit him harshly, tears smeared his face holding back his sobs now that reality had settled. His cold hands wiped away the boiling streams that burnt his cheeks but it only made his skin ache more. He didn’t care if people could see his sorrow painted on his face. All he has now are memories, paintings, and pictures. 

He will never see you two again. 

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