#am i up to something or nah??
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was it casual when you stayed up all night researching and brewing potions, trying to find some way to bring my undead body back to life?
#minecraft story mode#mcsm#mcsm nurm#mcsm jack#nurm mcsm#jack mcsm#Zombie! Nurm#Bet you wish you paid more attention to vos's ramblings about potions huh jack?#Don't worry Ivor helps them it's fine#Also yes Nurm is still chill with jack#Even as a zombie#I would say something profound about love and trust#But jack just force feeds him mushroom soup until Nurm's zombie ass is like “nah it'd be better to keep him alive he's got the good stuff”#😭😭#Clemont_ine#What is up guys it's me the morning after drafting this#It is five am there is no such thing as too early I am thriving#Proportions are off ☹️ but NOTHING MATTERS AT 5AM GRAAAAAAA 💥💥💥💥
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the clock is here. all hail.
i forgot to turn antialiasing to the right settings with my pen so it is. the little numbers are chunky. thats life sometimes. just dont zoom in too hard. if i fix it, i wont make a new post abt it ill just edit it on to this one or something [and state that i did so in the post]
prev post with noclock version
and as promised here is also progress pics, harvested from when i sent screenshots to friends as i worked. as a bonus ive also included various layer names and the 5 different names the file went thru. the parts i [very lazily] painted over with dark blue had not been done yet, ergo anything with dark blue over it is just the picture itself so do not regard it
i will now be nice to myself and work on my fanfic and smaller drawings for a while. i will do eye posts sometimes still when i get a slow day and wanna do some peepers for 3 hours, i have collected many eyes [klinger, fr mulcahy, trapper, margaret, charles, hawkeye, bj. ive been busy stealing eyeballs to paint on. theyre all on one document its pretty funny]. i will be doing my best to force the cast into my style so i can do quick stuff.
i also WILL do more paintings of full shots again, but. fellas. ive done 3 back to back full paintings with no other digital art projects in between.
this has been NOT good planning lol
not sure if i should tag everything again so i will just. do so? idk i have not been on tumblr hardcore since like 2018 and have never regularly posted so idk proper etiquette. im gonna leave off characters for this one ig
#mash#mash 4077#mash fanart#mash art#its me im back and i will now go to the countryside for my health for 5 months#nah but really my wrist is fine#i just strained it a lot from doing Too Much Art where my pressure needed to change and then the Hair twice and yeah#now i will go to bed at a reasonable time! [lie]#i forgot how much fun i had writing. rip#also when i decide to pick a big piece again im again welcome to suggestions#i prefer big emotions in the scene or specifically artistic shots#because certain ones can be funny or something but. i gotta stare at that for 20-30 hours#god this one was the worst because the lighting was so good. like u could SEE things#so i couldnt just 'teehee its all hidden' no you can see 100% of them 100% of the time#.my art#sorry to take up the mash tags again. i feel bad esp since its not a HUGE huge huge fanbase so i am diluting the waters more or something#or! i am lying to myself. to shame myself. equally likely.#anyway shoutout to fr mulcahy for giving almost the exact same kind of energy as my grunkle from ireland#its part of the reason i love him so much as a character. reminds me of family lol
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You really didn't think that one through huh?
idk if im sobbing, wheezing, or choking on my tea <3
#in short: AKSJBDAKSJDNASKNC#no yeah this is. The Accuracy lmfaooooooo#wally: avoiding the problem always works!#wally when avoiding the problem doesnt work: ....ohhhhhhh i get it now-#bbg pulled an oopsie fucking daisy!!!#wh modern human au#offerings to the bog#yk... i think. if the crash didnt happen#i think wally would have gone back. eventually#but not without Major fucking damage being done to his and barnaby's relationship lmaoooo#could they have come back from it? technically yes. but not the same. theyve lost something#BUT LUCKILY THAT'S NOT THE TIMELINE!#the timeline is worse but ends better somehow...#lmfao im imagining wally fuckin Ubering back bc home wouldnt start#and barnaby is just. in the front yard with wally's stuff in bags like a jilted lover asknasldknasldk#he winds up in sally's basement smhhhhhh#nah jk he'd probably wind up just living entirely in his lil garage-turned-art-studio#at least its a nice garage....#WHY AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT IT THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENS#< i say as if i dont think of at (alternate timeline) after at of aus-#what would happen If what would happen If If if If AAAAAAAA
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bet people who were like "umm ian wasn't at anthony's house making the soup for him he just dropped it off and left" feel stupid rn
how does it feel to be so wrong
#SOUP DATE#once again LOVE IS STORED IN THE SOUP#ian hecox#anthony padilla#ianthony#but also.... either ian was lying or something's not adding up#cos he said he didn't make the soup at anthony's house he only brought some frozen soup#but then in this episode they talked like they MADE soup together#(anthony was a good soup boy assistant)#so like.... it happened more than once? soup date TWO???#or am i overthinking this#...nah#smosh#sorry if i keep thinking about them cooking together i'm gonna pass out#and courtney's reaction honestly speaks volumes they were so !!!!!!!!! about it
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as the powder witch lounges: yone is away . doing god knows what at this hour , he doesn't like to share . she thinks he could be making his rounds . she thinks he could be sneaking off to that magical bar to drink — though that uprightness of his , even if he does fit the bill of a man down on his luck , makes it hard to take slugging alcohol as being his vice . maybe he is with luna . she thinks , she thinks , she thinks . but more importantly — she is alone with talon . this is shockingly not the first time the gunslinger has left her alone with them , but it is the first time he has does so at night . this is bigger of a responsibility than it seems , and rell wonders if yone has said as much to talon . how would he have worded it ? — there is no way he would have told them the full story ( not only to preserve her own privacy , but because he'd go way over the allotted amount of words a day he is willing to spare on talon , she thinks wryly , and she rolls her eyes ) — but then what , a stern , ' if she sleeps and you aren't staying put , leave the light on ? ' ugh . it sounds ridiculous to even think it to herself , to imagine his voice . and it is ridiculous . she is meant to be sixteen years old , outgrown the need to be babysat — not a responsibility . or maybe it isn't like that . he has never called it so . maybe she is just insecure . maybe she is just overthinking the fact that she has not since the first time had to wake up alone in the dark , and that she cannot remember the last time the gunslinger hadn't been there . yeah . she could lie to herself like that . she could believe . yeah ! and so yone has left rell alone with talon . she would like to think that it's because he trusts the demon with at least this much . she would also like to think that he trusts talon more than any of them would guess . she believes this to be the case , but perhaps this is also a lie she likes to tell herself . maybe he just trusts her to be able to take care of herself , to make sure that talon does not get up to anything nefarious . maybe he has not let her alone with them , but them alone with her . and there is true threat in this — not just in her magic , but the way she descends upon them then , curiosity rabid ; there are sometimes questions that can only be asked when either of them is away . can i ask somethin' , she asks , though it is more of a formality at this point . she can ask questions ; whether talon's answer will satisfy them is a whole other matter . but there are always questions she wishes to ask , of talon , of yone . there are also questions that she does not want to ask . yet , or ever , she is unsure . a strange silence follows , and it's as if she's fired a blank . she is in her casual garb , laying on the bed with her bare feet towards the head of the bed , and she stares up at the ceiling . ❛ you know what ? ❜ she suddenly says , pushing herself up . ❛ how about we get outta' here and find somethin' fun to do , save the questions for later ? ol' rickety bones don't gotta' know — we can leave a note if that matters . ❜ already is she looking for something to write with , to write on — the gears in her head turning , she eyes the carpet mat and ventures that if she just lifts up a corner ... @windchaser (hi uh . touches the ground . something happened here .)
It is a hushed evening in this homely little room the gunslinger left them in, while he went out on his righteous errands. Refusing to elaborate, let alone be accompanied on his business with their kind of ilk. And as Talon has their boots kicked up on the chair turned to face them, arms sizzling like an low oil flame across their chest and musty hat upon their face, they were of two minds about it; It was a break from Yone's constant vigilance. Finally, to not be beneath the weight of his suspicious glare no matter the action or lack thereof they committed. Not so long ago he made it his job for the evening to watch the demon - unblinkingly, mind you. They had stared right on back until their eyes stung to confirm. Made their afflicted skin crawl sometimes, he did. It had been a spell since they had last known the freedom that was the dark veil shrouding the range, to finally be the scariest thing in the night again, at least in the immediate area. But then, they weren't outside in the quiet eve, the chorus of crickets and woeful birds quieting upon their arrival; even without seeing a hellspawn, the land and it's critters instinctively knew when a stranger to their mortal world approached. No, they were cooped up in this little inn room Yone had dumped both the young powder witch and them in. With little more than the orders to stay safe until his return, which only he knew the hour of. Of course.
Talon cared very little for who in fact was watching who in this situation. They would be the last to underestimate the lengths of which Rell's powers could bend and twist metal, but it wasn't as if they couldn't leave unnoticed. If Talon really wanted to. But then, Rell would be alone... Which wasn't their issue. It would be the haunted gunslinger's fault, if anyone's. His form of retribution just wasn't something they were looking forward to receiving anytime soon. So they sat as comfortable as they could, oil lantern bright enough for a human's vision to see that the corners of the room existed.
She had spoken up at some point, garnering a movement of Talon's head to now rest on an ear and face the source of her voice, their hat still covering every feature. But it had been some time since then. Enough cricket chirps has passed that they were left to wonder if the witch was stuck on what to ask first, and eyes consider closing and no longer take in the low light between strands and treated leather. Rell so did like to ask things of all sorts. Her constant questioning should be bothersome by now. Talon almost starts at the commotion, shuffling from their own lying position and lifting a hand to pull their hat away. Over it's jagged brim do they watch Rell rise from the mattress, and soon their own disgruntled boots meet the floorboards with two tired thuds. And even behind their exhausted features is there something new alight at her scheme; the clandestine plan, the potential antics, the threat of trouble if they meet it out in the night or they're caught returning late…
Fixing their hat atop their crown, Talon watches Rell look around the room and the small possessions their little entourage had stored for the night as curiosity tugs their head from side to side to follow along with her search. "What he don't know won't do no harm?" The corners of lips threaten to curl into a smile, even once she has begun to mess with the carpet. A little sign, that they were here once, but ultimately decided their time was better spent elsewhere. The thought of Yone finding it after a quick gander at the empty room, the imagined squint of his eyes and twist of his lips exposes Talon's teeth, for a breath. As long as the little witch returned unscathed... They finally stand with what effort remained unspent, the blades trailing behind them lifting and slithering daintily with a roll of their shoulders as to not get caught between chair rails. Watching as she lowered to the floor, they wait until hand has nearly met the boards to speak up again; "Go ahead if you wanna risk a scoldin' on property damage."
Humming in their throat, a hand rises to their hat again, taking hold of the brim as the top of their blond stands are revealed. "If we leave an additional alleviatin' sign, too..." With a final cant of their head in thought, Talon chucks the hat through the air, spinning and landing softly on the table where their abandoned chairs stood about. Making their way to the door, Talon reaches for the raggedy, beaten duster they insisted on keeping hold of. It came in handy to keep the suspicions of settlement inhabitants to the same level as they would be when any outsider walked their streets. Arms of brimstone and feathers respectively are tucked away into worn sleeves in turns, and their ashen eyes fix on Rell with a rare, quizzical look of their own.
"What do young witches get up to after dark for fun, these days?"
#‡ ic#‡ ask#‡ the end is comin' for us all | high noon#windchaser#you're right. something did happen here.#if rell doesnt have an idea on what they could get up to talons just gonna take her to the dunes and throw blades at monster critters HDSGJ#or teach her how to climb up buildings and hang out on a rooftop.....#or take her GAMBLING- nah im kidding. or am i.#how lucky are ya rell?#long post /
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okay but listen,,, listen,,, are you listening,,, I cannot stop thinking about how the cauldron loves elain and its just... SO interesting to me that the MOMENT she pops out from the depths she's given a mate. there were any number of people there that could have been "assigned" to her ( if ur picking up what I'm putting down lmao ) the cauldron peered into her soul and saw all of her wants and needs and gifted her with the person that embodied all of those things and then some.
I will never stop thinking about this actually.
#elucien#elain x lucien#like lmao az was right there and he could have been chosen but nah#the choice is still hers and she's gonna makes a wrong one first for Drama but the elucien build up is gonna be SO good fr#also something else I was thinking about tonight on the subject of acotar mates is that the cauldron doesnt nessicarily choose 'love' match#it chooses mates people that will shape history above all#if the poor match that was Rhys's parents didn't occur he wouldn't exist#I am fully subscribed to the high king and queen elucien theory tbh and I think that is ANOTHER reason why they were matched#if anyone is capable of ruling prythian its them#anyway that being said they're going to shape history AND elain gets the love of her life is where I was going with that#elain: I need sunshine#the cauldron rolling its proverbial sleeves up: OH?????
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Fionna and Cake 1.07 "The Star"
Romeo + Juliet (1996) dir. Baz Luhrmann
#fionna and cake#romeo + juliet#romeo & juliet#gumlee#marshall lee#gary prince#parallels#gifset#shakespeare#am i up to something or nah??
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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All jokes aside I don’t understand a lick why we now have to wrap our brains around “Sutekh has been in the TARDIS the whole time!!!” when “Sutekh clawed his way back out of the void dripping ichor and rage the moment that salt created any hint of a door and has been hiding in the TARDIS since then” would’ve been just as effective
#like seriously#am I supposed to believe the human TARDIS wasn’t about to mention him?#that Jack and Clara both could’ve clung to the outside of the TARDIS as it yote through time and space and not noticed him#yep mhm Clara did it too I’ve seen y’all jumping on the Jack joke but she did the same damn thing#the multiple times the TARDIS split or we had multiple TARDISes in the same space#Rose Tyler Doing The Thing™️ and not absorbing any of Sutekh along with the TARDIS?#that the TARDIS herself#human or nonhuman#would bitch at Clara and constantly yeet the Doctor where they don’t want to be and run off bc of the HADS#and just generally exist as a MAJOR DRAMA QUEEN#and NOT SAY SOMETHING?#not be SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF CONSTANTLY?#bro nah#like the ep was good I liked it but the all-or-nothing of it is annoying me#speaking of#why on earth does Ruby have to give up the doctor to go figure her history out#is there a particular reason she cannot do both?#why could Clara do that but not Ruby#like bro#why#it can still be high stakes#if it’s not all-or-nothing
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do you think kalina told them "ragh barkrock" because she was trying to remind them that he witnessed jace stardiamond talking to arianwen and kalina at prom
#HELP HELP THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE#kalina knows who lydia is#she could have just said her name if the only intention was for the IH to go talk to her about her gem#but she DIDN'T she said RAGH#I will concede that could have just been brennan being vague#but what if it's a CLUE#jace keeps coming up#they know NOTHING about this dude#and we KNOW yolanda went to HIM about all this sketchy stuff and then was shortly afterwards killed?#nah uh uh something is UP with that man#I don't think the IH are suspicious enough of him#Intrepid heroes do you hear me I am transmitting this to you telepathically#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#my musings#dropout
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I'm the [tumblr] person who overuses comments in tags.
[tumblr] autosaved my tags even though I used them once.
Look in the tags and have a laugh.
(Possible tag game?) @author-of-the-year @jenumarts @thonethatflies620 @iamunabletothinkofablogname @ all my mutuals
#yeah i would've done something about it but now it's too late#he is not happy to be there.#why torture me like this#why all are my favorite characters evil???#like bro why does it sound so ominous#“fedora kink” bro wtf#why is the universe so cruel#you're that mutual that i don't even know why i followed you#and i never played deltarune so idk why i am even doing this#why can't i have them#i like to imagine that humanity wasn't started by adam but by lucifer bc why not#uh is it not normal to chew on nonedible things?#damn i can't do russian or italian because those were already done#also pigeons? damn when i'm at a city i usually chase them#oh my goodness i love this#this is why i love this deer man <3#i love this deer man (aroace ically)#the autism is autisming#goddamn my femboy obsession is acting up#why is everybody i see autistic these days??? wait i think i might be neurodivergent nvm#nah cause why is he trying so hard lmao#don't ask me how i know#so i usually stay up late on my computer until i'm tired enough to finally go to sleep and not wait hours in bed doing nothing
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Still alive, writing and editing a lot and even drawing (mostly dragon sketches at work). Seasons has some new chapters now... I saw something earlier about writing being something you can hone by doing lots of reading and writing. I wonder when that will apply to me. I've read a lot of books this year. I have almost hit my goal of 90 books, and while a couple are nonfiction and half are comics, the rest are novels. I expect that to increase again, now that I'm going back to the library. (I stopped with the bed bug scare.) Then I'm setting aside time each week to write. I work on stories at work, even if it's mostly just planning. (My laptop is falling apart so I just gave up taking it to work.) Yet here I am, still the same idiot who doesn't have anything appealing enough for most people to read. I can't get 99% of my followers interested. Sales of Geckos have dropped to next-to-nothing. Nothing else I put out there matters either. The fault lies with me. I'm not good enough. After having this stupid blog for 12 years, I want to delete it. I want to delete my twitter account. I want to delete every single account and shut up for good. There is nothing I can offer. My writing is a good hobby for me. I can get pats on the head for doing a little thing for myself. Aww, look at the cute little dumbass adult doing wittle storwies!!! Isn't that silly!!! They're not good, but he's having fun during the process. Too bad he hasn't figured out that not even 39 more years of practice can save what he's handing out.
#people lied about “once you have confidence nothing can take it away”#nah that shit can get killed when you're a fucking pitiful fool like me!#until the day when I actually make something that's important to anyone this is just me being a child-brained idiot scribbling words down#I used to think I was semi-decent... I did before Rascal but figured Rascal was inferior to my usual work#Then I felt bad about my writing bc of discouragement and locked my work up#felt a surge of confidence a couple of weeks before I started Seasons tho#then had some confidence after that until 2023 (lots of bad shit happened that year)#it evaporated quickly but I tried to maintain some#and now it's just like... me trying to pretend and “fake it till you make it” has never worked for me#but let's be real: the more I showed I liked myself the more bothersome that was for some people I was close to#and it's better to tear me down than lift me up#so I guess the problem is that I just don't belong in the writing world with anyone else#I'll never be good enough and I'm frankly too mentally fucking delayed to have figured it out (like everything else)#hahahahaha people keep telling me I'm autistic and my brother is autistic and my parents refused a diagnosis for me when the Dr mentioned i#and here I am probably too autistic to have ever figured out a damn thing except that I'm pretty good at reading and liking stuff!#but not skilled at anything else#just a reader and worthless as anything else#oh and I guess crocheting but I want none of you to have that part of me ever again
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it's night time<333 (with a lil sibling bonding bonus: >;Dc)
studio au belongs to @zu-is-here fem designs are made by me
#art#illustration#my art#studio au#utmv#nightmare sans#dream sans#nightmare#dream#fem!nightmare#fem!dream#man i am sO happy with how this turned out istg#every struggle i faced with the lineart was WORTH IT for the end result >:'D man i think this is my favorite drawing of the year so far-#bless the pencil tool in sai for not making the lack of pen pressure look obvious/pixelated i am so lucky hhh xD#i really wanna make everyone's studio au design more distinguishable/unique and different from each other#so as a lil heads up their hairstyles/faces/body shape will probably go through more changes before i settle on something final!#and even then they can and will change hair (by dying and or by cutting it)- and obviously different styles of clothing#because you can't convince me these popular rich actors don't have some sort of style/sense of fashion it's just. nah xDc#also night wearing suits/classy clothing supremacy<333 dream's summer look is by far my fav but nights autumn one?? regal. perfect<3#i hope you guys liked these drawings!! i'm pretty sure i can't recreate them if i tried tho hh xD
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yk it’s kinda funny going from being chronically online to being around a bunch of 5yr olds bcz ppl on here r like: “hey so this is a fully sfw account but i sometimes allude to k*ssing so can all ppl under 18 DNI so u don’t get traumatised/srs” but when i mention my age to the small children its like “you’re so old wtfffff. are you a dad? fym no???????”
#was genuinely so funny to hear that 5yo be confused about why i wasn’t a dad yet at my old age (16)#babygirl i could still be in high school. i’m not legally allowed to drive yet. i can only vote in some elections#but nah; to them i am soso old bcz im more than 10 years older than them#one of them asked if i was older or younger than his mums (both in their 40s) so i think these guys just have a very skewed idea of age or#something 😭#ryan shut the fuck up
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yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
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I just discovered that in Roman Catholic Communion, gluten-free versions of the little crackers or bread aren't provided bc the Vatican has decided that it has to be wheat in order to be valid.
and while most people may just be able to have the wine or whatever and avoid the crackers, the priests have to have BOTH. even if they have fucking CELIAC'S.
which has resulted in the Church saying "maybe we shouldn't allow priests who can't have gluten and/or alcohol".
(which is ableist but I mean do we expect better from the Catholic Church)
I am so incredibly riled up over this and I'm not even Catholic.
#like. there are Issues with Catholic priests and I recognize that but also this is fucked up imo#as far as I'm concerned the bread or crackers aren't Jesus's flesh until something is done to them#what about wheat means only wheat counts as being Jesus's body???#also c'mon if one of the disciples had Celiac's Jesus would have given him gluten-free bread#and been like ''this is my body too here you go''#like Jesus was a considerate man#I think I'm riled up bc I am gluten-intolerant and currently on an elimination diet#so I'm just like. incredibly sensitive about dietary restriction issues rn#at least it's all right to be gluten-free in other Christian denominations#other Christian churches are like ''nah this bread is Jesus's flesh too even without the gluten''#speecher speaks
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