#alyson is so relatable
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me every time i wake up
#plsss#alyson is so relatable#especially in the third episode#i can relate to her a lot#feeling like you're gonna always be stuck in a town you truly hate?#and that you're gonna end up just like your mother?#jesus christ. give me a break i have to throw up#i have so many thoughts about this game... ughhhh#tell me why#tell me why game#gaming#video games
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take a bite out of these
just an updated list of all of my favorite creators so far! Iâm sure there will be plenty more added đ€
thank you for sharing your talent and your amazing creations!
this is a little long so all recs are below the cut !
can also follow my tag #elâs fic recs
Eddie -
crash + fall by @trashmouth-richie - an ongoing soulmate AU series about my favorite freak that Iâm already so very in love with and is written so beautifully.
she fucking hates me by @littlexdeaths - Iâm still foaming at the mouth over this bully!Eddie x reader fic. itâs so fucking hot and I donât think Iâll be over it any time soon (or ever).
after hours by @hellfire--cult - I am fairly new to the omegaverse and holy fuck what an introduction this was. I love a dominate Eddie and oh my god did Roe deliver.
sailorâs delight by @dr-aculaaa - this fic made me YEARN in a way I wasnât prepared for. Drac is an amazing writer and I just wanna live in this little world they created.
let's go, don't wait by @carolmunson - the fic that has me questioning why none of my online dates have ever been this good. I fucking love this story so much, just wanna live in a world where teacher!Eddie falls in love with.
daylight by @abibliophobiaa - while I tend to stay away from pregnancy!AUs, this one had me hooked. It's cute, sweet, hot. I need a dad!Eddie stat.
twenty-four hours / coffee shop blues by @ghost-proofbaby - ghost is hands down one of my favorite Eddie writers. She writes him in a way that makes me fall in love time and time again. as a bonus, if you're a fan of astarion, she's written the moon will sing (i love you like the sun) which is just as beautifully written as the rest of her works.
the biology tutor by @mrsjellymunson - I binged this in a day, the premise and the smut were so damn hot that I couldn't get enough.
everlong by @andvys - this was my first introduction to andy's work and it has remained a favorite ever since. has so many amazing stories but there's something about a secret relationship behind Steve's back that gets me.
the yes policy / wish you were here by @pinkrelish - the way I lost sleep reading through both of these fics. I love the worlds that Alyson created and the version of Eddie she gifted us with. I've read them over and over again.
to know youâre mine by @blueywrites - I read through this series in a day, losing sleep may I add, because I was that addicted to it. I will admit, at first, I didnât think itâd be my jam because of the swinger dynamic but holy shit does Bluey make it both tender and hot at the same time. I almost combusted. I seriously couldnât get enough. She is an amazing writer and I canât wait to read more of her work.
for your viewing pleasure / shelter from the storm by @rebelfell - the way Sarah has me absolutely on my knees for Eddie every time I read one of her ficsâŠthey genuinely leave me UNWELL (in the best way). like for your viewing pleasure? I was a little unsure at first (would I get jealous over a fictional man having relations with other fictional women?) but then I devoured it. itâs so insanely hot and she is one of the best smut writers on here. and shelter from the storm? pllleeeeasseee Eddie show up on my doorstep to check up on me in a storm. Please offer to get me there.
Steve -
we tried the world / she drives me crazy by @upsidedownwithsteve - if there is an author I equate with a character, it's Emmy with Steve. I was a diehard Eddie girl until I read her stories and fell in love with my favorite dork again and again. All her works are seriously a gift that I always return to.
all i really want is you / colors by @loveshotzz - the first author that made me even consider an older!Steve let alone fall in love with him over and over in every way she writes him. I will never be over either of these fics and re-visit them all the time.
we'll call it love by @superblysubpar - I've said before that this is part of my top ten and still is to this day. I revisit it often, falling back into this world. dreaming of this steve. story is so witty, funny and hot while also remaining tender in many moments. Also, simply the best - the title is pretty self-explanatory because the story is already thatâŠsimply the best. Itâs ongoing but I am already hooked. I love the Spider-Man!Steve AU and Taylor is an amazing writer so I know itâs only going to keep getting better.
asking for a favor by @wroteclassicaly - this struck me right in all the perfect feels and Kristen has a way of doing that. I have a long to be read list but Kristen is all over it. She's an amazing writer and I love all her angst / smut.
Jonathan -
rise and shine by @eiightysixbaby - I hadnât read a fic for Jonathan before, or really considered it, but manâŠthis fic managed to convert me. Now I need him in the biblical sense.
Billy -
no charge by @hellfire--cult - oh. my. fuck. what a fast conversion this was to a Billy fan. Jaw on the floor, wondering why I donât have a hot hot hot Billy knocking on my floor to give me the ultimate striptease plus 8 inches extra.
honey honey by @pastel-pillows - speaking of my fast train to a Billy fan, this is the fic that really started it all. He is so sweet in this, and I just ache for a soft Billy since reading this amazing fic.
@boltedfruit
@selineabanto
@xgumiho
@tubesock86
@stervrucht
@toktopus-art
@donttellunclesam
@littleststarfighter
@tellme-astory
@jemmacdraws
@obligatedart
@strangergraphics (graphics / headers / dividers)
@hugdealer (some of my favorites edited photos of Eddie)
@freckledjoes (photos / gifs)
@werewolfnat (formerly kingofscoops)
@djo
@steveharringtondaily
@batty4steddie
@emziess
most, if not all, of these are Eddie coded
you know I can eat you better than he can
getting hate fucked on your crushes bed by his best friend
post campaign pleasure with your dungeon master
your bully finds out you have a crush on him
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sorry if this is like. a stupid question but iâve been following you for the last few years and itâs gotten me interested in sexuality/gender studies, so for my first semester of college i decided to to take a WGS class (which iâm enjoying). and as a person who is biracial and nonbinary i was intrigued if you knew any reading black and nonbinary authors who write about feminist theory/gender/sexuality in relation to those things. iâve been looking at the school library a few times but havenât really seen anything :(
Of course!! heres a few :D
The Gender Binary Is a Tool of White Supremacy by Kravitz Marshall
Nonbinary Identity is a Radical Stance Against Gender Segregation by Robin Dembroff edited by Sally Davies
Gender Nihilism: An Anti-Manifesto by Alyson Escalante
Hope you enjoy these :D lmk if none of these links are accessible and i could probably give you pdf versions of these.
#Gender studies#Trans studies#Transgender studies#Non binary gender studies#Nonbinary gender studies
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Honeybloods review under the cut!
Reads Like: A snarky, bloody road-trip romance with teen nostalgia, band drama, and supernatural sugar on top.
If You Like: She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick, Jenniferâs Body, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer but you didn't like Xander.
What I Loved: cute cute cute! What if Jennifer's Body was a road trip movie about having a crush on your ex-best-friend? (Jenny's body by the Studio Killers. This joke is just for me and I know that) Honey Williams and Sadie Greer are former best friends who are thrown back together under extreme circumstances. In that Honey murders someone, kind of by accident. The novella kicks off with a bang (literally) and doesn't let up, balancing violent delights, puppy love, awkward teen-hood, and a road trip. There aren't a lot of wasted words on this one-- it's easy to read, most of the text is moving something forward.Â
The dynamic between Honey and Sadie fantastic. Honey is chirpy, energetic, and cheerful, while Sadie is snarky, melancholy, and exhausted. They have a great back and forth, intensified by their circumstances, sadness of a lost friendship tension, and unresolved feelings.
What to Know Going In: This novella is a quick, punchy read at just under 200 pages, so expect things to move fast, both in terms of plot and Honey and Sadieâs relationship. The road-trip setup is full of bloody encounters with Honeyâs newfound vampirism, and the humor helps balance out the gory scenes.Â
Imagery: Trying to finish a really bitter espresso at a coffeehouse on a roadtrip while a band tries to sound good during an open mic night.Â
Scented Candle: Coppery blood and vanilla soda.
Other (Tropes, Content Warnings):
Tropes: Ex-best-friends to lovers, forced proximity-ish, Heal It with Blood, Super-Senses Content Warnings: Graphic violence, blood, gore, discussions of death, and some dark humor related to trauma. People puke in this book so if that gets you. Watch out.
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The Raven House - Premise
This take isn't exactly a swap AU, though there are swaps. The story's elements end similarly to the plot in the main timeline.
William is drawn to the world of the Boiling Isles to find his family and escape the awful grip of his uncle. He never believed that his parents were killed and believes somewhere in this new world his parents are here. However, he finds that the entire Demon Realm is ruled by a ruthless Empress...with an anti-human policy. Using a Concealment Stone, William attends Hexside and explores the Boiling Isles. However, he finds out that the past is heavily intricated with the present of the Demon Realm and even the human realm's relation to the Realm. From encountering the Realm's Nine Barons and Baronesses to confronting the Empress herself, William "Hunter" Wittebane faces the joys and absolute horrors of this strange new world.
The tone is darker given the nature of the BI in this timeline but it still has a lot of heart for this dysfunctional misfit family.
This is just a fun project to explore something I thought of when I first got into the Owl House. It's funny to see how some of the guesses I had pre-S3 via this AU came true.
Also somewhat off-topic but related, I totally see Jonathan Case (FF16's older Joshua VA and it's just so perfect alongside Philip's Alex Lawther voice) voicing Caleb, Alyson Stoner (To name the most notable ones, PnF's Isabella, LoK's Opal, and KH's Kairi and Xion) voicing Evelyn, and Sam Vincent (Ninjago's post-S7 Lloyd, his voice is literally so perfect for an older Collector) voicing an older Collector.
#the owl house#owl house au#toh#toh au#the raven house#william wittebane#hunter toh#hunter wittebane#camila noceda#caleb wittebane#toh belos#philip wittebane#toh collector#my original post
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Hey so... Capcom hates unions, right? If this is the case... I'm kinda wondering if Stephanie even works with them any more.
See, the past couple of years she's been posting stuff on her Instagram stories about strikes and picketing. Not even just with the recent video game VA ones. The SAG-AFTRA stuff. IIRC she even stopped promoting Death Island stuff for a little while there. This is all good, don't get me wrong... all the AI bullshit needs to stop and I'm ecstatic she's being vocal about it.
As far as I've seen, other RE VAs haven't been posting anything about any of that. I could be wrong about this however.
But this could explain why she's been a little more bold with her statements about stuff lately. And when people asked if Claire was going to be in RE9 she said something like, "Oh they're making that?" Like, she maybe legitimately didn't know they were.
Isn't this the reason why they stopped using the last VA for Claire too? Or am I wrong?
Plus, even if she was replaced, we wouldn't know until the next game or movie comes out or is close to coming out since this seems to be the pattern recently.
Again, I'm probably looking too much into this but I just saw someone else talking about Capcom and unions and IDK... got me thinking.
so... this is something that's been lost to time in a game of telephone. it's something i've even been guilty of perpetuating and only just now realized that i fucked up by perpetuating it when i looked it up to refresh myself on what happened.
alyson court came out in 2017 and said that she would not be returning as claire for RE2make and said that capcom had decided to go with non-union actors instead. paul mercier then also came out and backed up her statement -- that he would not be returning as leon. alyson then made a follow-up video stating that this was NOT related to the recent voice actors strike. it was simply about contracting. basically, capcom shopped around until they found actors they liked that were willing to work at a price that capcom was willing to pay. alyson said that it was extremely disappointing that capcom wasn't willing to pay actors a working wage.
but despite alyson's clarifications, the damage had already been done. what was intended as "i was union-protected to ask for a certain amount of money, and capcom wasn't willing to pay it" morphed into "CAPCOM WILL NO LONGER WORK WITH UNION ACTORS."
but that's patently untrue.
because they kept on matt mercer for both vendetta and DI despite him having always been in the union.
capcom also pays top dollar for union actors in devil may cry. reuben langdon (dante), dan southworth (vergil), and johnny young bosch (nero) are all union actors.
hirabayashi has come out and told us that RE2make was built on a very tight budget due to capcom's lack of faith in the project, so it makes sense that they decided to cut costs where they could -- including when it came to voice acting.
so, really, capcom is willing to work with union actors... but only when they see the cost benefit for doing so.
if steph is no longer voicing claire, it won't be because she's in a union. it'll be because capcom doesn't feel she's worth the money anymore.
but her lack of knowledge of RE9 has nothing to do with her still being in capcom's good graces. as far as we know from leaks, claire isn't in RE9. and if claire isn't in RE9, why the fuck would steph know about its existence? game companies don't contact every single main cast actor in a series and update them every single time a new project is underway. only people who are working on the project know about it.
so, unfortunately, the likeliest explanation remains: stephanie panisello is just an asshole.
good question, tho. good ask.
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Braced by Alyson Gerber, 2017
As an Amazon Affiliate, I earn commission on qualifying purchases from my affiliate links.
Genre: Young Adult Novel
Treatment Type & Stage: Bracing, Beginning and Middle
Mood: Difficulty coping with treatment
Braced is a modern take on living with scoliosis, specifically in regards to treatment with a brace. I previously reviewed Deenie here and advised that some parts of the book were dated, but that is not so with Braced as it was first published in 2017. It covers the same concerns about puberty and romance, although not at the same level that Deenie addresses it. This may still need parental guidance, but it is tamer.
In Braced, Rachel Brooks is about to start middle school and is working hard to become a forward on the soccer team. Right after she achieves her goal, though, everything becomes uncertain as she now has to wear a back brace for 23 hours a day. This messes with her soccer performance as well as her image. She faces social isolation and bullying, and even her relationships with her friends become strained.
I will be honest that I cried a lot while reading this book, although it is because of my own personal experience with self image and social issues like jokes and bullying. I was never braced as my S curve was already too severe for that to be effective treatment. I actually related quite a lot to the mother, Amy, who had surgery to correct her own scoliosis and is only starting to process that emotionally now that her daughter has it. The fact that this book includes both bracing and surgery is a plus in my book (pun intended).
I highly recommend this book for children (and their parents) dealing with a scoliosis diagnosis and bracing. It touches some on surgery, so that may be good even for those facing surgery as well. However, the perspective on surgery is not well-rounded and may not be reassuring to one's anxiety, so there may be better books for those facing surgery. Even for those who do not have scoliosis, it is a relatable book about starting middle school and trying to fit in and maybe begin dating.
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The Quiet Misogyny of âBuffy the Vampire Slayerâ
When accusations that Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, abused his power on multiple sets, few fans of his work seemed surprised. According to actor Charisma Carpenter, who had a recurring lead role as Cordelia Chase on Buffy and starred in its spinoff series Angel, Whedon created a toxic work environment and repeatedly harassed her on set. In a statement posted across the actressâs social media accounts, Carpenter revealed that the traumatizing experience of working with Whedon caused her anxiety and a chronic physical condition that she still struggles with today.
Carpenterâs statement comes directly on the heels of WarnerMediaâs investigation into workplace misconduct allegations levied against Whedon after he was hired as a replacement director on Justice League (2017) following Zack Snyderâs departure. In July 2020, actor Ray Fisher, who played Cyborg and worked with Whedon during post production on the film and its subsequent reshoots, wrote on Twitter, â[Whedonâs] on set treatment of the cast and crew of Justice League was gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable.â As a show of support for Fisher, Carpenter revealed that she had participated in WarnerMediaâs investigation, stating, âDespite my fear about its impact on my future, I can no longer remain silent. This is overdue and necessary. It is time.âÂ
In December 2020, WarnerMedia shared that they had concluded the investigation and claimed they had taken âremedial action.â Prior to the investigationâs conclusion, Whedon voluntarily stepped down from his role as showrunner for the upcoming WarnerMedia-owned HBO series, The Nevers, due to the pandemic, so it remains unclear what so-called remedial action was actually taken against him.
The allegations against the director and former Hollywood sweetheartâor whatever the male nerd equivalent of that isâspan nearly the entirety of his onscreen career. While some fans of Whedon may struggle to understand how a man whose work has been lauded for its depiction of Strong Female CharactersTM and themes of empowerment could perpetuate the abuse he outwardly condemned, other fans were less shocked.Â
In addition to accusations by Whedonâs ex-wife Kai Cole, who wrote a scathing essay for the Wrap in 2017 about her ex-husbandâs faux feminism and predatory affairs, rumors have swirled for years about Carpenterâs untimely departure from Angel. However, feminists who are familiar with Whedonâs shows, including Buffy, Firefly, and Dollhouse, as well as his first two Avengers films, have long-since recognized the quiet (and not-so-quiet) misogyny directly embedded within his filmography.Â
To understand Whedonâs nerdy repackaging of entitlement toward women and their bodies, one must look no further than the subtext of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the series that initially launched him to success.
During Buffyâs seven-season run from 1997 to 2003, and even still today, comedic sidekick Xander Harris (Nicholas Brendon) became a frequent target of feminist ire. There are countless think pieces, forums, blog posts, and Reddit threads dedicated to fansâ burning hatred of the character, and the showâs insistence on framing him as morally correct when heâs quite clearly in the wrong. From the very first episode, Xander is positioned as the ânice guyâ of the friend groupâthe wisecracking, lovable nerd who reads X-Men comics and doesnât get a second glance from most women.Â
As the everyman, Xander caters to an audience of men and boys who might relate to his average looks, inability to entice women, and his literal powerlessness up against the superpowered women he fights alongside. His friends and allies have varying degrees of usefulness in the fight to protect Sunnydale, which sits on a demon hellmouth: Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Xanderâs best friend and unrequited love interest, is imbued with vampire slaying abilities, and Willow Rosenberg (Alyson Hannigan), his other best friend and briefly-requited love interest, has â90s-esque computer hacking skills and eventually becomes a powerful witch. Additionally, at any given time, he is surrounded by allies that range from friendly vampires and ex-demons to superstrong government soldiers and werewolves.
In any room heâs in, Xander is never the strongest, smartest, bravest, best looking, or even the most charmingâhe is utterly average in every way. In an early Season 1 episode, Xander sums up his character archetype perfectly when he says, âI laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.â Despite Xanderâs mediocrity and inherent powerlessness in comparison to the women he surrounds himself with, one of his key character traits is his sexual entitlement. He regularly makes references to his perpetual horniness and sexualizes almost every beautiful woman he encounters.Â
When he first meets Buffy, he immediately develops a crush on her, and despite her repeated rejections over the course of several seasons, he continues to wait for an opportunity to be with her. Xander pining over his best friend might not necessarily make him bad, but itâs concerning that he also harbors resentment toward every guy Buffy dates or shows interest in, occasionally even lashing out at her for daring to choose other men over him.
Worse, he views himself as a ânice guyâ who is entitled to sexual and romantic relationships with the beautiful women he fawns over. Except Xander isnât really a nice guy at allâhis entire self-identification as a nice guy isnât actually supported by his interpersonal relationships or behavior, and in fact, is often directly contradicted by them.Â
Interestingly, Xander doesnât simply act as a stand-in for sexually frustrated nerd boys in the audience who want to fuck women like Buffy; he is also, quite literally, Whedonâs self-insert character. Fans of the show had initially speculated about this, and Whedon confirmed it when he was interviewed by NPR in 2000, stating, âXander is obviously based on me.â This was also reconfirmed during a panel at the 2011 Emerald City Comic Con when actor James Marsters, who played the vampire Spike, said, â[Xander] is Joss. Thatâs the way he sees himself.â As Buffy fans gain a clearer picture of Whedonâs behavior behind the scenes, itâs ironic that a man with a track record of abusing his power over women and people of color on set would align himself with a character whose primary character trait is powerlessness.Â
Why does a director and showrunner who weaponizes his power over his cast members to control themâand in the case of Charisma Carpenter, attempt to literally control her body and reproductive choices by pressuring her to get an abortionâget to hide behind a fictional facade of helplessness? Because he likes comics and wasnât popular with girls in high school? Perhaps the most unlikely indictment of Whedon comes from the series itself, in a Season 6 arc that flips the concept of the harmless nerdy misogynist on its head. In the sixth season of Buffyâwhich notably featured the least involvement from Whedon, as he stepped down to an executive producing role to focus on other projectsâa new group of villains called the Trio is introduced. The Trio features three socially inept, Star Wars-loving and comic book-obsessed boys who attempt to neutralize Buffy and take over Sunnydale. The group of seemingly harmless nerds evolves into a major threat over the course of the season.
After creating a mindless sex robot and being dumped by his girlfriend Katrina (Amelinda Embry), Warren Mears (Adam Busch), the leader and most malicious member of the group, creates a device to render his ex-girlfriend into a state of submission so he can force her to be his sex slave. However, before he is able to rape her, the device malfunctions, and when she tries to escape, Warren hits her over the head with a champagne bottle and kills her. Later in the season, Warren also fatally shoots Tara, a fan favorite and one of the few queer women characters in the series.Â
Despite their inability to adhere to a traditionally idealized version of smooth-talking and muscled masculinity, the Trioâs proximity to nerd culture does not exempt them from causing harm. In fact, their self-identification as geeky underdogs is what provides them cover and their desire to acquire social power is what fuels their violence.
In an oft-cited acceptance speech for the âMen on the Front Linesâ award presented by Equality Now, Whedon recalled a common question he received from reporters: âSo, why do you write these strong female characters?â In response, he said, âBecause youâre still asking me that question.âÂ
Though the response offers an empowering sentiment and makes for a highly quotable soundbite, he betrays his real motivations for writing fictional women within the same speech. He says, âWhen I created Buffy, I wanted to create a female icon, but I also wanted to be very careful to surround her with men who not only had no problem with the idea of a female leader, but, were in fact, engaged and even attracted to the idea.â He then went on to âjokinglyâ say that he writes characters like Buffy ââcause theyâre hot.âÂ
Whedonâs acceptance speech unwittingly reveals the contradictions, and similarities, within both his work and interpersonal relationships. Though he may have spent decades fooling Hollywood and his fanbase with his performative brand of feminist allyship, Whedonâs public persona was always a ruse to disguise the fact that he never actually respected strong women. He simply wanted to fuck them.
#Buffy The Vampire Slayer#Joss Whedon#Buffy Summers#Xander Harris#Willow Rosenberg#BTVS#Misogny#Sexism#Sexist
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WIP Wednesday: The Fool and the Soldier, Ch. 9 (Cowards)
The Fool and the Soldier is now up on AO3, updated every other Friday (usually). Unfortunately, I had to bump this next update to next Friday, 12/22 because of work. Like before, I don't want to rush and get something half-assed posted.
For the new readers: This is a Mighty Nein AU exploring the plot Matt pitched in the Campaign 2 Wrap Up that -- had Molly survived the Iron Shepherds -- Lucien returned as a body-hopping spirit to hunt down his own body. This fanfic began with the events of episode 26 and has continued since then.
See the directory for other TF&TS posts.
Darktow was smaller in the daylight, once Beau could see the actual layout. The city seemed massive the night before because it was built into the cliffs, so the broad scattering of lantern light dotting the cliffside presented an imposing image. However, it only took a while to explore because of the long, winding stairs and slopes to ascend to each layer. Few buildings dug into the cliffside itself; most were simple wooden structures built along the edge, a few of the nicer looking ones with clay tile roofs. The winding road up was slightly concave, with a sturdy wooden grate over a drainage gutter in the centerâjudging by the lack of stench, probably for rain rather than sewage.
The docks were more than a third of the town, hosting all the ship-related businesses, the one tavern, and trade posts for whatever the pirates brought in. A few places of business dotted the residential area, many of them either tiny markets, bars, or restaurants with extremely limited fare. Barely any vegetation, mostly kept in pots and jars, with one snooty merchant in bright robes watering some building-high palms in front of his shop.
The actual population didnât look to be more than a few thousand. A decent place to stop over, maybe, but not the best place to live unless someone loved the sea and everything in it. Which made sense for a pirate haven. If the Nein hadnât come to Darktow because theyâd been forced to join a cultist pirate crew, Beau would have probably enjoyed exploring the place. Unfortunately, they had, and there was work to do.
The night before, Jester and Nott had snuck in and out of Avantikaâs quarters thanks to Calebâs invisibility spell and Jesterâs new dimension door teleport. Beau had coached them where to lookâafter all, the Lionett family had numerous stashes hidden throughout their home, thanks to her fatherâs paranoia about losing his fortune. Not that sheâd told anyone that part. The rest assumed Beau had experience stealing from the rich, which wasnât untrue; it just happened that they were also family. Regardless, the duo found a few potential hiding places: a fake back in a cabinet, false bottoms in the desk, and a few locked drawers. Thankfully, Jester had kept Nott from peeking, and they returned to the Bloated Cup without incident.
The plan was loose at best. First, they needed to be sure that Avantika wasnât planning to leave that day. Sheâd estimated 48 hours the night before, but there was always the chance sheâd want to leave early, and there was no guarantee she wouldnât have them tailed. As her quartermaster, Fjord was accompanying her to purchase something special, with a sending stone in hand to warn the Nein of any problems. Predictably, Vera had been so distrusting of him that she insisted on joining as well. So that was one less set of eyes that might spy on them, and most of the rest of the crew were taking rotating shifts to guard the ship or accompanying Avantika to carry her shopping or something. Apparently, Avantika didnât trust any of the Nein enough to assign them as well, but that was a blessing all the same.
Next, the Nein needed to find a scapegoat and convince them that they should take whatever proof there was of Avantikaâs treachery to the Plank King. With so little time, they had split into groups. Caduceus and Nott were looking for Alyson Paij, the human captain who seemed to have a grudge against Avantika. Jester, Molly, and Yasha were after Sabian or Cadmus, each of whom were now recognizable thanks to Fjord assuming their appearances as a demonstration. Beau and Caleb were searching for Jamedi Cosko.
Finally, assuming they got a proper scapegoat, the Nein then needed to steal whatever evidence they could find from the ship, get it to the scapegoat, and ensure they actually took it to the Plank King, all before the Squalleater left port. If Fjord did his job well, they had until the following morning. Winter had just begun, so the days were as short as they were going to get (âIt is 9:17,â Caleb had said a few minutes back), and it seemed unlikely that Avantika would try to navigate out of that reef in the dark. Just one more factor in their favor.
In a way, the lack of details wasnât much of a problem. If they couldnât get a scapegoat, they could forge a message from Vera and send that to the Plank King. If they couldnât get good evidence, they could forge some traitorous message, maybe like trying to recruit captains for mutiny. If the plan didnât work out at all, the Nein could turn on Avantika once they got the next crystal or at the next temple, and without any witnesses, there would be no repercussions at Darktow. Not that they ever planned on returning. Not having pirates after them on the open sea was one just less thing to worry about.
Despite that Caleb didnât have a spell to track people like Jester and Caduceus did, the duo did alright getting information. They both asked around The Bloated Cup in the early morning, before any of Avantikaâs crew were around, and got a mess of directions to a bar Jamedi frequented a few levels up. Beau couldnât track all of themâthe town did not have a consistent structure in the leastâbut Caleb repeated it word for word and led the way.
âSo whatâs our angle when we find him?â Beau asked as she kept her head on a swivel while they walked. They seemed to be passing through a primarily residential area, with normal townsfolk going about their day. That didnât mean there wouldnât be trouble or that they wouldnât run into someone.
Caleb didnât answer at first, but eventually spoke up, using the code names they had the night prior, âI do not think he would willingly report Tiffany to the Cat Prince. The others are better options. However, perhaps we should be honest about the apricots and Tiffanyâs plan. He could vouch for us that we were unwilling pawns, just as he was. After all, the Cat Prince would find out that he joined her on that last excursion, and he would need someone to vouch for him as well.â
Beau crossed her arms as she thought it over. If Jamedi had been willing to rat Avantika out, he would have probably done it based on what he saw at the temple, unless he felt he lacked proof. But maybe he didnât know the Plank King was looking for a reason to get rid of Avantika.
âI think itâs worth testing the waters on that, just in case,â Beau replied. âMaybe heâs biding his time before he snitches on her with what he already knows. Maybe heâd do it sooner with something juicy to prove it.â
Caleb was momentarily silent before he responded, âHe would be valuable either way, but he is a coward. I do not believe he is willing to stick his neck out. Rather, it may be better to convince him that his neck is already on the chopping block, unless he is willing to cooperate.â
âYou seem pretty sure about him,â Beau noted with a raised brow.
âWell, I am a coward, too, Beauregard. I know how they think.â Caleb tapped the side of his head.
Beau snorted, but didnât argue the point. Theyâd had their discussions about that, but the man seemed thoroughly attached to his depreciated self-image. She knew it arose from the fact that heâd killed people when ordered to, even his own parents, and then fled once he roused from a decade-long catatonia. But heâd been a stupid kid, and everyone had been a stupid kid at some point, eager to prove themselves and easily roped into horrible ways to do it. That didnât make a kid a coward for wanting to make someone proud. In addition, cowards didnât follow their friends on quests to uncover their past on the Lucidian Ocean, delve into snake-people-infested temples to betrayer gods, and go to a pirate island to find a way to backstab a pirate captain.
Theyâd also had their disagreements about whether the Nein were achieving any good out here, and at the moment, that was more concerning. Caleb thought the Nein had done just fine by stealing The Mist and massacring the pirates that held it, but they hadnât actually known they were pirates until after the fact. And sure, that crew had attacked them first, but the Nein could have run. They were only there to spy on Marius LePual. There hadnât been any plan or benefit to killing anyone and taking a ship.
Those werenât acts of cowardice. That didnât make them better.
The shitty part was that all of the Nein had done it. Beau had done it, and it wasnât until the rush of battle wore off and the ship had fled the harbor that she felt like sheâd dived head first into slime. This wasnât about keeping just Caleb in check like heâd asked. They stooped that low just because they were, what, riled up from the fight earlier that day? Riding a high of praise and gratitude from the Ruby? Felt like they had to be right because theyâd sent a corrupt jackass packing to Marquet?
It felt too much like the same shit the Empire authorities, the aristocracy, these Revelry pirates did: crush people in the way first and justify it afterwards, once anyone started to question. Even Molly had insisted it was fine to lash back even with the option to get out. Caduceus and Jester were the only ones that seemed to agree with Beau, though Yasha at least showed some discomfort when she wasnât sure.
They needed to be better than this.
As Beau walked into a bar behind Caleb, he stopped and weakly tapped her shoulder, snapping her out of her reverie. She side-eyed him, noting his slight nod to the left before he walked toward the bar, pretending he hadnât done anything. She followed his lead, waiting until she reached the counter to lean back against it and fold her arms while he ordered some drinks.
Jamedi was at a table in the corner, nursing a tankard while he wrote in a leather journal. He didnât even look up, but heâd spot them easily if he ever did. They could grab drinks, then pull up some chairs for a chat.
At the table not ten feet from him, a half-elf man with tanned skin, sun-brightened brown hair, brown eyes, and a cigarette in his mouth sat with three others, playing poker. His clothes were worn like any other sailorâs, but he wore a red scarf around his neck, loose in the front like the worldâs laziest cravat.
Sabian.
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âWe have to talk a little bit about last season and the finale and all that good stuff. Last season was unique. Still Season 5 is my ultimate favourite season but Season 6 is in some ways so special and itâs because I relate to it the most. I relate to all the ideas that were explored in this season. Yes, itâs painful and sad but it might be the realist season so far. The Big Bad this season was the Gang themselves. Everybody was their own worst enemy and everyone in the real world can relate to that. This season we got a real and unfiltered look through our charactersâ very psyche. It deepened each character to a whole new other level. All the pain, all the heartbreak, all the depression, all that darkness, all that drama. It wasnât for shock value. It was for a harsh and yet meaningful heartfelt story, and I love the show for that. So yeah, for all its sadness, I really really love this season. It showed that Buffy wasnât just a witty, happy show with some sad episodes here and there. It can go to a really dark place and keep it there constantly. It made sense making life the villain of the season because Buffy struggled just with the idea of living and itâs such a real thing. Each characterâs problems were real life situations that everyone can relate to. It felt like a carry over from âThe Bodyâ episode. Like seriously.
The darkness and depression - most shows would have solved it in an episode or two. But this show shows that realistic path that this thing can take so long. Grief, depression, addiction cannot be easily curved over night. It takes time. And it makes this show so much more than just a typical fantasy/supernatural show. The fact that this season started with Buffy crawling out of her own grave only to end with her crawling out into the light. This symbolised how she overcome her depression. I loved how the whole season didnât go with their traditional Big Bad of the season. There hasnât been a huge villain conflict since Glory and most all of the baddies of the week were either the Trios schemes or self-inflicted by the main characters. But when we finally had a proper Big Bad, it was so complicated because it was Willow. And when you look back and you see the episodes with the Trio, you can also see that they also focused on issues with Willow. Like always hidden in plain sight. What a great way to hide the real Big Bad. The very fact that one of the Gang becomes the Big Bad is so fantastic. All the build-up of the last 4 episodes, 3 of which have jaw-dropping cliffhangers - amazing stuff.
Xander rejecting Anya at the wedding; magical drug addictions; Buffy handling her depression in a destructive way; Spike dealing with the chip, his demon side, his William side and the fact of what he almost did to Buffy; Willow turning into Dark Willow; Gilesâ appearance - what the hell? What the hell? By the way, Alyson acted her entire ass off in those last 3 episodes. Only she can pull off being diabolically evil while sheâs still simultaneously being Willow. A big theme that I thought was extremely profound is the idea of consent. Willow struggled with it many times during the season. She did magical spells on Tara and all her friends without their consent. The Trio of course - Jonathan didnât even realize that having a sex slave was rape. Then Spike assaulting Buffy with the justification that she needed to feel him to be reminded of his love. Amy giving magic to Willow without her consent. They all violated someone in one way or another. And it was an interesting concept. And it was interesting that the fact that they tried to touch on that aspect, you know?
For me, I really didnât like the Trio this season. They were a bit one-dimensional. Usually Big Bads are but in this season particularly it didnât work. But I do understand why it was necessary to have them - if it makes sense. The only interesting part about them is how they started being just nerdy boys playing games, trying to be Big Bads even though they suck at that until they became men who committed evil crimes. Jonathan got it out of the 3. He was the most mature. He understood the weight of what they did. Yes, he kept quiet but he did realize that Warren was dangerous. Andrew - Andrew man is just a simp minion willing to blindly be loyal to him.
The thing that kinda bothered me a bit - Iâm not sure âbothered meâ is the right words - but I didnât like the fact that we didnât really have the time to digest Taraâs death because immediately we went to Dark Willow. I love the scene between Xander and Willow not only because he was the one to pull Willow back, but it was also a moment for the grief or pain that Willow has gone through with the loss of Tara. The impact of Taraâs death was finally dealt with when Willow collapsed with Xander on the bluff. But as I said - it really made sense that Xander was the one who pulled her back because Xander more than anyone holds a special place in Willowâs heart. Heâs her first love. Her best friend since childhood. I canât think of anyone else who couldâve penetrated her wall of grief enough to remind her of her humanity. This season Xander spent time doubting himself, letting his fears take control of himself. He doubted his ability to do good by the people he loves. And it wasnât just in a relation with Anya, it was in a relation with everyone else that is close to him. He doubted himself. He thought that he was incapable of doing anything for his loved ones. And for me in that scene, he overcome his fears. His love for Willow was strong enough that he overcome his fears even in the face of death - which was so beautiful to see. The greatest thing about seeing Anyaâs reaction to hearing Xanderâs the one to save the world this time is that realization that she spent all this time trying to hurt him that if she did he wouldnât even be able to, you know, save the world. It was so subtle that I really really loved it. I wouldâve never imagined a storyâs arc that ended with both Buffy and Giles out of commission and leaving it to Xander to save the world from Willow. I mean, who wouldâve thought? Willow always thought that she was a nobody and it was a constant thing since Season 1. But before Tara, before Oz, she always had Xander. He loves her even though she feels like sheâs a nobody. But nevertheless he loved her the way she is and the way she was back then. And Xander is that constant reminder that old Willow was worth something, you know? And itâs such a beautiful thing to see. Also the fact that Willow and Xanderâs relationship isnât romantic - it is what makes this whole thing way better. I appreciate so much this show for giving us a platonic relationship. They put friendship at center and not romance. And God, I love this show for this, like seriously. Like in this whole Buffyverse I feel like thereâs 3 characters who had the most character development of all the other characters. Willow, Cordelia and Wesley. Cordelia also did a total 180 and became a woman to be proud of in the end like Willow. And Wesley - this guy was a literal geek in every sense possible - and yet in a few years he became such a dark and bad ass character. And Willow - like from this sweet, genuine nerdy girl that lacks confidence to dark veiny Willow - like what?
Spike - they had us in the end. Like, seriously had us. Like I really thought he was talking about his chip. But it turned out to be not the case. I was played perfectly even though I noticed how it was weird that he was there looking to take his chip from out of his head to hurt Buffy when we already established that the chip doesnât work on her in the first place. So yeah, I was like what? But they really did play me. But it makes sense knowing his existential crisis, and his feelings for Buffy are a huge part of that. And he has been struggling with himself non-stop this season. And I feel like what happened with Buffy was the final tipping point that spelled him. I remember his words being like âWhat have I done? What did I do? Why did I not do it? Why do I feel this way?â But then it came to him and he sets out to get his soul back. He wants to go back to being William. A man that he thinks is worthy of Buffy. But we all know that getting your soul back after centuries of torturing, killing and mayhem doesnât mean happiness and rainbows once you get it back. But this is only going to make Spike worthy to have a redemption arc, you know, just like Angel. And itâs interesting to know that the difference between Angel and Spike is that Angel didnât choose to have a soul, Spike had. He chose on his own accord to get his soul back. So Iâm not sure how itâs going to work with him, you know? So both Willow and Spike got their souls back at the end of Season 6 - which is interesting.â
Your entire recap/review of Season 6. Wow. I had to quote the whole thing.
You are so insightful. Holy shit.
I fucking love you!
đđđđđđ
Yeah, Season 6 is very special. And youâve explained precisely why and how just like that. Iâm in awe. đź
âSo both Willow and Spike got their souls back at the end of Season 6 - which is interesting.â
I swear I thought I was the only one who picked up on this parallel. The fact Dark Willow and Spike donât interact. Of course they donât. Theyâre one in the same thematically. They are the parallel characters in Season 6 and thatâs why Spike was so wary of Willow. Because he recognized in her what he canât stand in himself. He intentionally kept away from her because he didnât want to be reminded of who he is out of a desperate need to be worthy and feel belonged. There is some striking parallels between Willow and Spike yet they barely interact. But I do believe that this season itâs very intentional that they donât.
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tell me why (2020)
#this game. this fucking game#it's been ruining my mental health for a few days now â€ïž i think I'll have to make an appointment with my psychiatrist â€ïž#i haven't even finished it yet but I'm truly in love with this game#it's so pretty and the soundtrack is so good âčïž#but the story is so sad#also i think i can relate to their mother when it comes to her mental health#playing it wants me to sit outside and smoke a hundred cigs because man.... đŹ#ngl im not into men but tyler makes me question my sexuality a lil bit because he's soooooo#but im also in love with alyson.... uggghhh#tell me why game#tyler ronan#alyson ronan#tell me why#game screencaps#gaming#video games#*mine
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Ok, no one asked, but here are my thoughts / impressions of the DWTS 32 cast, and Iâm going to be honest, I had to google more people on this cast than any other season before so đŹ:
Excited for:
Ariana Madix: I am obsessed with all things Bravo and the #Scandoval was literally my entire life for about for 4 months. She has dance and performing experience, and I think sheâs going to be really good. Plus, having Pasha as a pro, the choreography he is going to give her đ (not to be morbid, but this is actually the couple Iâm most sad that Len wonât get to see đą)
Alyson Hannigan: I was a Buffy fan and loved HIMYM (until that god awful finale đ€ź) so I am so happy (but very surprised tbh) to see her on the cast. Idk how much of a natural mover sheâll be, but I think sheâs going to have a really great attitude and just enjoy the experience. I am expecting typical Sasha soâŠyeah đ€·đ»ââïž
Jason Mraz: Iâm mostly excited for him because heâs with Daniella tbh đ she always does such great work with her partners and is able to pull the very best out of them. I can see him being a good performer and them being a very strong team. Also, yay to new mommy, Daniella! đ
Mira Sorvino: Romy! I know she has had a rough time (fuck you H*rvey W*insteinđđ») and I hope this journey brings her happiness and joy and she sees how much support she has and why, oh why did they have to partner her with Gleb đ©
Intrigued by:
Tyson Beckford: Wow. He is đ isnât he? And apparently his only dance experience is a guest performance with Chippendales (shocking đ) which will be interesting because we all know how Jenna is as a teacher đŹ. I predict a lot of shirts being taken off đ (but also đ) And again, yay to new mommy, Jenna! đ
Matt Walsh: Seen him guest star on almost every sitcom ever đ and I see his trajectory going one of two ways: heâs terrible and voted out early, or heâs the lovable guy the GP falls in love with because of his dedication and journey. Heâs either low hanging fruit or a dark horse and with Koko as his partner, I would lean towards dark horse.
Mauricio Umansky: SoâŠ(separated?) husbands of Real Housewives are stars now? Whatever đ and honestly out of all the House Husbands, I am unbelievably grateful this is the one they chose. (istg if it was any of those misogynistic animals from RHONJ, I would not have watched this season) but anyway, I think heâll work hard but not take it too seriously (not in a bad way) and heâll have fun with it. Plus, it will be a cold day in hell before I donât support Emma Slater. And arenât they both single? đ I want an entanglement in the ballroom! đ
Barry Williams: Iâm only intrigued because weâll probably get some sweet Florence Henderson mentions / memories because of him đą. And Peta is definitely the designated first out partner atp. But it probably works for her so đ€·đ»ââïž and yay to mommy x2 Peta! đ
Have heard of them, but donât know them:
Charity Lawson: I know she was the Bachelorette but other than that, I got nothing. đ€·đ»ââïž But I always root for Artem, and heâs pretty consistent with his partners and choreography. That combined with Bachelor Nation, very possible they make the Finals unless she is absolutely, undeniably terrible (which I doubt) or if shenanigans happen
Xochitl Gomez: Iâve heard her name before, but I always thought she was a singer đ„Ž my bad đ I havenât watched anything Marvel related in almost two years, so đ€·đ»ââïž sheâll probably go far especially because of the Disney / ABC connection as well as Val being the most production assisted pro in DWTS history (sorry, but yâall know how I feel about Val đ€ź đ) but I do think sheâs going to be fun to watch and actually be a good dancer, I just donât have faith her partner will give her good choreography. Weâll see how (or if) that effects things (probably not)
Had absolutely no idea who they were:
Lele Pons: Influencer? I guess? She seems nice and I love how excited she is to be on the show. I think sheâs going to be a lot of fun and maybe this can be a breakthrough season for Brandonđ€đ»
Harry Jowsey: Reality Star? Dating show? Youtuber? I have no idea tbh. And, not to go all Karen Smith, but if heâs British, why isnât he on Strictly? đ€š But very much looking forward to Rylee as a pro. I always enjoyed Lindsay as a teacher / choreographer, so letâs see if it runs in the family đ
Adrian Peterson: I WISH I STILL DIDNâT KNOW WHO HE WAS. WTF đ€Ź Poor Britt. To go from Daniel to this? The ultimate downgrade đ
Donât give one single fuck about:
Jamie Lynn Spears: I have made my feelings on this vile creature known đ€ź Apologies and best of luck to Alan (not really tho because I want her foul ass eliminated asap)
#dwts 32#dancing with the stars 32#dwts#dancing with the stars#ariana madix#alyson hannigan#jason mraz#mira sorvino#tyson beckford#matt walsh#mauricio umansky#barry williams#charity lawson#xochitl gomez#lele pons#harry jowsey#adrian peterson#jamie lynn spears
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Just saw a gifset you reblogged and the gears in my head started turning and I remembered some stuff from when I was googling timelines and the like and frok watching stuff, you get it. So here's some things that I find kinda fun
Season 1 btvs aired in March and in the same month Scream 2 was also greenlit. Scream 2 started filming in June, the month season 1 btvs finished airing. Which is fun to me because Sarah Michelle Gellar is in both btvs and Scream 2 (apparently she signed onto Scream 2 without reading the script because of the success of the first scream film but I've not seen the interview so can't confirm). She also stars in 2 live action scooby-Doo films (Scooby-Doo (2002) and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)) along with Matthew Lillard who played Stuart in the first scream film. In Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed Seth Green plays plays Patrick; Seth also played oz in btvs. And this is all very fun to me you see.
Also, only tangibly related, in Scream (2021) (AKA scream 5) and Scream 6 Jasmin Savoy Brown plays Mindy. In Yellowjackets Jasmin plays Tai and Christina Ricci plays Misty. Christina played Wednesday Adams in 2 Adams family films (The Addams Family and Addams Family Values). She was also in netflix's Wednesday where the tituler character (who is the same Wednesday that Christina played in the 2 previously mention Addams family movies) is played by Jenna Ortaga. Jenner Ortaga stars alongside Jasmin in scream 5 and 6. Again this is just very fun to me.
Also also in a previous ask you said how you kinda enjoy monster of the week and me too!!! like some times an all-consuming overarching plot is just a headach and sometimes it's nice just to have a different random dude doing a kinda different thing each week while still getting a bit of character development for the main girlys.
Also also also I've only seen a few early episodes of btvs (it's been on my 'to watch' list for like a decade now) but I couldn't remember who Xander was until I saw you calling him annoying and then I instantly remembered, which isn't great for his character in the first, and maybe quite possibly second, season I don't think...
Anyways sorry this is long as shit and may not make sense, love ya xoxođ
Heya bestie, sorry it took me a while to get to this. I loved reading your message! These sort of thought trains are exactly my kind of deal haha. Very fun to me too. I started thinking about how to tie Buffy and Glee together and the best I could come up with was through Veronica Mars because Alyson Hannigan and Charisma Carpenter were both recurring on there and Jane Lynch and Dianna Agron guest starred. Boom!
Now that I'm further along with BtVS I do think its overaching stories are done well and make for better episodes than the Monster of the Week formula but I'm glad they don't completely abandon it because it is fun. I see what people say about s1 in terms of it being different than the rest of the series but I still look back on it as entertaining and I don't find the episodes people consider to be tedious bad. I actually really liked The Pack and even the puppet one. The character development is overall strong on BtVS so as long as we have that I don't mind if a lot of episodes aren't about the given Big Bad of the season. So yeah that is to say I think Buffy is probably up your alley! It was on my to watch list for a looooong while too but I'm very glad I finally got around to it.
And yeah Xander lmao, well to be fair I think people expected me to loathe him and I kinda don't? I have a well overdue ask about him but being halfway through the series I maintain that he is annoying but have gotten better and I can appreciate aspects of his ch. If anything I think his douchebagery peaked (so far) in late s2/very early s3 and now he's rightfully taken his place as Just Some Guy. I might eat my words later on if he becomes Finn Hudson levels of annoying. I doubt it though. (Unless he outs Willow and acts as the hero afterward in which case I hope he perishes <3)
#made perfect sense and i loved it#was a joy to read the first time around and again now#so thanks!#moonlitegay#buffy asks#<3
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beef ask game. 3 9 15 23 25 26 and like maybe 20
From this ask game: Beef Tenderloin Tobin - The Great North.
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
On occasion, Beef can be shown to be slightly overbearing/overprotective of his kids. Obviously, this relates to his deep-rooted trauma of everyone he loves leaving him - his parents, his brother, now his wife - and it definitely has an impact, whether consciously or not, on his approach to parenting and his wish for his family to stay close to home.
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
I would love it of course, but I don't think he would appreciate it very much.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
Okay, well... I have two canon ships, and one crackship that I am very invested in. I'm very torn between Beef/Carissa and Beef/Alyson, but I think after season 4, Carissa may edge it out slightly due to how she's a good influence on Beef and is comforting to him and affirming of his feelings. I'd really like to see more of her interacting with his kids next season, I think it'd be really sweet.
And now the crackship: Beef x his cruise ship captain pen pal. As a wise man once said, it's #yaoilicious...
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
Either the aforementioned pen pal, Alyson if he stays with Carissa and just needs a friend to talk to, or Jerry because, well, it's Jerry.
23. Favorite picture of this character?
I already said this on twitter, but he's so soft and fluffy and about to explode with excitement here, I love it so much.
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
Then: Hot and very cute and caring.
Now: Still hot and very cute and caring. But I would also now like to put him into a woodchipper (affectionately).
26. Freebie Question: Anon, you missed out the question đ
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alyson. aly. may i call you aly? or would you prefer loml?
this chapterâŠ. holy fucking shit. holy fucking shit. every new chapter just sends me through a goddamn spiral of emotions that i never know how to express. when i say this is the fic for me, i mean it. your talent just⊠it never ceases to amaze me, yâknow? i wanna be like you when i grow up or whatever the cool kids say.
between the build up to the date, the fucking note, the giddy back and forth between them. it all just encapsulates that sweet feeling of liking someone so damn much, being alone with each other for the first time in that context. their banter never ceases to pull at my heart strings and miss mouse's internal thought process is just way too fucking relatable (when she was getting irritated that he hadn't kissed her... GOD). you put so much love and so much care into these characters and it is so obvious to us readers. this fic is so damn special because of all that effort you put into it, and i hope you know it truly isn't wasted.
let me get sentimental before i move on to rambling about the smut. because yes, i have some choice words about that smut.
this chapter is a perfect example of why you're writing is so goddamn inspiring. this right here, the attention to detail and the careful curation and the genuine flow, is exactly why you inspire me to be a better writer. above i joked about wanting to be like you when i grow up, but seriously - i can only dream to be able to write like this one day. the way you bring your readers into this world and you make us feel all this emotion. that's such a gift, and for you to share it with us all? no words will ever be able to repay you. what you've created here is so amazing and i hope you take so much pride in this for the rest of your days because it's so special, so genuine, so inspiring. this is cheesy as fuck but i just. i had to gush. thank you for sharing your writing, and for making me (and i can only assume others i cannot be the only one c'mon guys) want to better our craft. you're the blueprint for me, babe.
ALRIGHT. cheesy over. now for my choice words about the smut below the cut
thatâs all. thatâs my choice words.
no but in all seriousness that smut was so well worth the wait and just... awoke so much in me. thank you. now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go either touch some grass or further fantasize about worshiping this man's balls.
đđĄđ "đČđđŹ" đ©đšđ„đąđđČ.
singledad!mechanic!eddie x fem!reader
â¶"Can I kiss you?"â¶
NSFW â smut, blowjob, swallowing, ball worship, cock worship, grinding, dry humping, first kiss, slow burn, flirting, mutual pining, eddie is touch starved, mild angst, 18+
chapter: 10/19 [wc: 25.1k]
âł part 01 / 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 / 10
AO3
Chapter 10: The Intentional Second Date
Smoke trembled past his lips in stuttered bursts.
It was Eddieâs second cigarette of the morning. Not completely out of the ordinary for him; sometimes he needed a second one when Adrie gave him trouble before preschool, or if he had a bad nightâs sleep and relied on nicotine to help delay the impending headache, but thatâs not why he was smoking again today. Adrie woke up, got dressed, brushed her teeth, and told him she loved him in the carpool lane. She was a dream. His nightmare, on the other hand, was coming to fruition. Because of course he couldnât remember where heâd set his wallet if it werenât chained to his pants on a sober day, but drinking enough to where he shouldâve been plastered? He remembered it all. He remembered it all.
Oh, he remembered it all.
And when he heard the front employee door to the auto shop unlock, he held his breath, and counted down the routine seconds for you to pop your head out in the alleyway and greet him, and when it didnât happen.. He knew you remembered too.
The morning smile did not come. No greeting. No laughter. Just nothing. Nothing happened except for the glass door to the lobby opening, and you going inside.
He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucking fucked up.
He made things weird, and now you were avoiding him, as you had every right to after he tried to initiate phone sex without warningâ Consent? Consent. Both of you were inebriated to some degree, and heâd never felt more like a creep.
Oh, God.
His knees went weak.
Anxious bile sloshed in his seizing stomach. His face broke out in a cold sweat. Knots constricted tighter. Heart beating in his throat. Decisionsâmistakesâput stars in his vision. His world was ending, and it pounded at his temples. This was it. This was it. He fucked up.
âGood morning, handâOh?â
Eddie froze.
You leaned more than your head out the door, and stepped onto the concrete slab. All your tender attention was on him, studying his pale face, and his hunched form. Your eyebrows swooped in worry at how he was crouched to the reedy weeds instead of standing tall with his back against the gray bricks. A frown slighted your smile, insulting your beauty when you saw him bent down, knees to his chest, holding his head while his other hand shook hard enough the cigarette pinched between his fingers fell amongst the rocks.
âEddie? You donât look good. Are you okay?â
His lips parted.
Was he dreaming? Was the lift of delight in your tone when you first went to greet him, and then the drop to concern ebbing your voice deeper when he appeared ill a figment of his imagination? Were you about to call him handsome? Was this the second chance he didnât deserve?
âEddie?â
âYeah!â His exclamation helped him stand, and the twitch of your lips battled his nausea. âYeah, I just had a long night,â he lied.
Lightheaded, he concentrated on keeping balanced in his woozy lurch towards the wall.
Sharp edges of rocks slid against one another under your winter boots. âAw, Iâm sorry.â Your apology was sincere, as was your silly quirk of swinging your arms to point finger guns towards the garage. âI brought donuts this morning, and went ahead and made coffee, so theyâre both fresh if youâre the type to dunk.â You mimicked dunking a donut into a mug of coffee. âMaybe itâll make you feel better?â
Endearing. Genuinely, honestly, so fucking adorably endearing.
âYeah, that sounds great right now.â The pet names returned to their restricted status for now. He had to know for sure. âDid you, uh, like playing with us Saturday?â It was a cowardâs way to dance around the real question burning his esophagus, but it was a valiant introduction.
âI did! It was a lot of fun. Iâm glad you invited me. And, hey, uhm, I didnât say anything weird to your friends, or anything like that, did I?â
âNo, you didnât,â he responded in an even tone, stomping his curiosity from fluctuating his cadence with hopefulness when you chose that of all things to ask him.
âGood! My memory went a little fuzzy after my fourth drink, you know, when Lloyd kept trying to get us to sing along to that adventuring song he made up. I didnât know if I said anything weird, or rude, or something by accident.â
Salvation reigned upon him.
Eddieâs lungs allowed him to breathe at the kindness alcohol spared him, and finally, he could relax. Your fretting stemmed from making a good impression on his friends, and with his reassurance, you stopped fidgeting at your nails, and the color returned to his cheeks. âYou donât need to worry about that. Seriously, they loved you.â His grin struggled to blossom. âDo you not remember anything else?â
In contrast, your grin was a field of wildflowers swaying under the summer sun.
âNot really, itâs pretty spotty around the time they left, but I do remember a few things,â you said, taking another step towards him. âI remember you throwing a napkin at the back of my head. I remember falling asleep in Robinâs car. I also remember asking her to pull over on the side of the road. I remember waking up in the living room, on her dadâs recliner of all places. And boy! do I remember being hungover.â
Closing the few feet of distance remaining, your confidence was established in your ability to pinch the sleeve of his coveralls and tug at it in a playful, flirty way, coasting your frosted sigh over his embroidered name patch.
You claimed him, heart and soul, âBut I remember us dancing, too. Iâm so glad I remember us dancing.â Softer, âYouâre the sweetest person Iâve ever met, you know that?â
âIâm the sweetest?â he repeated in a mumble, complying with the tug to open his arm in a curve, which you fit into.
âOf course you are. You sure youâre not sick? You still look like youâre about to puke.â
As if your grip on his tricep wasnât enough of an anchor on reality, the backs of your fingers gliding down his cheek were, checking his temperature like he was worthy of being doted on. A fortunate thing, a blessing; having your hand guide him from the river Styx with a simple brush, thumb tracing the edge of his lip.
Yeah, his heart clenched. âIâm okay,â he rushed to whisper, wanting the words to sprint after your fingers falling from his chin. He kept the connection alive by copying the stroke along your spine, over your denim jacket.Â
The wintry redness returned to his face, he knew. His racing pulse brought it there, splotching warmth to his skin. There was not enough bravery in the world to ask how much of the dance you recalled; whether your memory ended at your head on his chest, or your wrist to his lips, or your foreheads together with your noses smashed to the otherâs cheek, but he did gleam one thing for certain.
You beamed up at him with eager eyes, as if those intimacies flashed in the sunâs reflection, and you wanted more of them.
He said, âI think Iâll feel better after a donut. Or three.â
âOr a nap, or three,â you countered.
âSweetheart,â he exhaled, a rasp present in his throat from smoking, âIâm not gonna waste my time napping when I could be eating donuts with you.â
A wry laugh played at your lips. âHow romantic.â
âIâve been known to be romantic from time to time.â
You hummed in interest, arching an eyebrow. It was a challenge. Oh, really? you asked. Show me, then, you said.
Stepping back, you dragged your hand down his arm and embraced the motion, seeing it through to his elbow, forearm, the heel of his palm. Feeling but a faint outline of his form beneath the thick sleeve of his canvas jacket and light blue coveralls, yet still clinging to him as if he were your heater. Your warmth. Another body laying next to you in a cold bed.
âCâmon, handsome.â You urged him inside by your feeble grip around the stretchy knit cuff covering the plastic bead bracelet around his wrist. âLet's see if getting some caffeine in you helps you look less like a corpse.â
He snorted, and obeyed. âWhatever you say, dear.â
By all means, it seemed you didnât remember the phone call. No doubt you were stone cold sober for the bad jokes, dorky innuendos, and inappropriate behavior that would be frowned upon at work, but you didnât bring those up, so he didnât either. He was in the clear.
Fate forgave him. And now, he could move on with the âthank youâ he owed you in good faith.
ââââ
It was days later when your stapler ran out of staples.
You clamped it shut a few more times until you realized, and opened the second drawer on the short filing cabinet beneath your desk. After a cool slide of metal on metal came a rattle. Instead of your extra sticky notes, folders, and office supplies being visible, a foreign object sat on top of them. Perplexed, you reached in and grasped the lime green box. An index card was taped to it, and removing it jolted the waxy candies inside, sliding them against the cardboard in a merry cascade.
Setting the Mike and Ikes aside, you read the thin, angular handwriting on the note, written in red.
DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME? (circle one)
              YES  or  NO
ARE YOU ONLY SAYING YES BECAUSE ITS YOUR POLICY?
              YES  or  NO
By outward appearances, your mouth was tugged downwards at the corners, but make no mistake, it was not a frown. No, no. What your expression was overcome with was so sentimental, so empathetic, you had to pout.
Besotted, you hugged the card to your chest, and reflected on the heaviness of his expectant gaze when he passed by your desk this week. The longer eye contact, the anticipatory lift of his eyebrows wrinkling his forehead when you waved at him. He mustâve put this in your drawer days ago, and you had kept him waiting by accident, poor guy.
You werenât about to keep him in suspense any longer.
(Though, maybe he shouldâve put it in the top drawer, which you opened daily for your highlighters, if he wanted a quicker response.)
Pen to paper, you selected your answers, jotted a line, and tucked the notecard inside a manila folder with two invoices he needed to fill out. You pushed your rolly chair away from the desk, and dug through your purse before going to the breakroom where Eddie sat hunched over the round table, shoveling a chicken Rice-a-Roni meal in his mouth (haphazardly) with his left hand while writing in his DND notebook with his right.
You stood at the vending machine with your hip jutted out, sinking to one side with utmost concentration on your pursed lips, perusing the rows of choices. There were just so, so many categories to choose from. Chips, candy, chocolates. How could you ever decide? You crossed your arms, and tapped your chin at the dilemma, taking your time. This was a wise use of your work hours, of course. Flirting with your coworker by passing notes, and watching the side profile of his smirk break through his curtain of curls in the glass reflection.
Finally, you settled on F4, and slotted in your quarters, punching those buttons.
The Kit Kat bar was deposited in a loud clunk.
âHey, didnât know if you saw,â you started casually, and held the manila folder out to him with an imposing grimace, âbut you forgot to fill out a couple of lines at the bottom of these invoices. Canât have you slipping up, and not finishing your paperwork before working on your little roleplaying game, now can we?â
Eddie shifted his gaze from the bulky folder failing to stay pinched closed, to your face. Fawning, he arched into an overly apologetic expression to match your performance, and placed a hand over his heart. âOh, no, sweetheart. Iâm so sorry. Did I forget to do that? Silly me.â
âBetter not let it happen again, Mr. Munson,â you warned, placing it on the table and leaving.
âNever, never,â he promised.
Back at your desk, you sat in your chair, calm and poised. And approximately two seconds later, you kicked off the floor into a fierce spin, dizzying the lobby around you. The place was a blur, your stomach swirled, and still, your goofy grin refused to wane. But, you did stop eventually. The antics had to come to an end. You did have work to do, afterall.. Which you ignored when you heard him rip into the foil wrapper in the other room, and you couldnât possibly concentrate on calling a warehouse to check on an order of headlights when your ears were tuned to the flimsy chair scraping across the tile, and his heavy work boots stomping down the hall.
âFilled out those forms for ya, sweetness,â Eddie said with a wink.
There was a weight to the manila folder when he dropped it on your desk, and tapped twice on his way out to the garage. Not a physical weight, but a gravity that wasnât there before, now concentrated in his keen eye contact. An invisible significance.
The relationship had changed, just then, in the trade off of boring invoices.
Opening the folder, the index card was deemed more important than the paperwork. Your gaze stalled on the thick circles around YES, and NO. Yes, youâd go on a date with him, and no, it wasnât because of your policy. Below them, your thick handwriting flowed together.
what did you have in mind?
I RETURNED THOSE KIDS MOVIES FOR YOU.
  YOU CAN THANK ME FOR SAVING YOU
    THE LATE FEE BY WATCHING SOME
       HORROR WITH ME AT MY PLACE
PICK YOU UP SATURDAY AT 6?
Fighting back another sickeningly stupid willowy sigh at his charm, you wrote a lovesick reply.
In usual Eddie fashion, he left the very last box on the second form blank, so you had to go out to the service area, and address the mechanic bent over a car engine. Not that you were complaining. The back of his coveralls hugged the slight curve of his ass, and his hair was not only pulled into a low bun at his nape, but he wore a bandana tied to keep his bangs off his forehead.
âHey there handsome, couldnât help but notice you left the date box on this form blank again.â
âOh, did I, pretty girl?â He spun, and rolled his eyes to mock himself. Wiping the grease from his hands on his coveralls, he took your pen. âItâs my old age, yâknow. Things always slippinâ my mind.â Mumbling to himself, he pressed his palm to the back of the folder, and sketched out a sentence into the page longer than a few numbers warranted. During the arduous process, he looked at you with sorrow, and complained, âThese dates are just so tedious to write out, it may just take me all night to complete.â
You refused to give him the satisfaction of a smirk at his (possible) insinuation.
All night? He wished.
Eddie surrendered the folder and pen, and smiled at you, stretching the streak of soot on his chin and cheek. âThere you go. All filled out. Not a âTâ uncrossed, nor an âIâ left undotted.â
âThank you,â you over-enunciated as a goodbye.
The very second the glass door came to a slow close behind you, you sat at your desk with the folder, and threw a subtle glance out the window to the garage to make sure Eddie wasnât watching you lose your mind over two short words exchanged in quick succession.
sounds perfect :)
YOURE PERFECT =)
For the second time since you moved to Hawkins, you had a date. And judging by Eddieâs sway from foot to foot with his hands laced behind his neck and his head hung back, listening to the traffic outside echo off the cement walls, he was thrilled for his second date, too. He dropped into a steady bob at music that wasnât playing. A too-large grin teased at his mouth as he paced to the motor he was repairing, and bent over it. His boyish excitement spilled like an overpoured mug of coffee into his unabashed giggle, and glance in your direction.
Eyes locked, he didnât steal your breath. You gave it to him willingly.
ââââ
Saturdayâs setting sun was just another audience member to your date night routine. Robin and her mom leaned in the doorway of the bathroom the entire time you were shaving, and due to the opacity of the shower curtain, you were unable to convey your glare to the degree it deserved.
âWell, why doesnât she wear this instead?â
There was a shock of laughter mixed with Robinâs scoff. âMom, if she wore that Eddie would pass out on the spot. What if he hit his head, and they had to call an ambulance? You know she canât drive him to the hospital. No, this bra still gives sex appeal without causing an injury. And besides, calling 9-1-1 would put a damper on themââ
âRob,â you groaned.
ââspending a wonderful evening together,â she finished.
The thunk of a walking cane neared, and her dadâs hoarse voice sounded from down the hallway, âMy! The rowdy Munson boy is getting lucky tonight, is he?â he proposed in a faux British accent after watching BBC nature documentaries all day. âDo you think heâd have dinner with us tomorrow? We havenât seen him since Robin threw that New Yearâs party years ago, and almost set the roof on fire.â
Oh dear God get me out of here.
Once you were finished with your shower, freshly scrubbed and smelling nice, you humored them by wearing the outfit they picked out. It was pretty much what you wouldâve worn anyway. A short black skirt made modest by nylon tights to stave off the chill from Eddieâs trailer, and an oversized crocheted cream cardigan with tiny pink flowers, the hem of which hit you at your waist, showing a tempting preview of your stomach when you raised your arms to fix your hair. The pale lavender bra (the reason for their debate), was covered by the aforementioned sweater, and you werenât sure if the sheerness of the lace mattered much when Eddieâs daughter may be present, or in the next room over. It didnât occur to you to ask if heâd have Adrie with him, so, such is life. The bra may stay a secret despite their efforts to doll you up. But the sudden realization he may see you in it tonight clenched your stomach with excitement..
The clock struck 5:55, and an ominous roll of thunder put everyone on edge. It electrified nerves, and stood hair on end, setting forth premonitions of bad weather and foul fortune. Doom, it was; and it came, and came, neverending. Except.. It wasnât thunder. It was Eddie Munsonâs brutal music.
His little black car came flying down the road, and swung into the driveway, screeching to a halt heralded by flung rocks spat by his tires, and a flock of songbirds splitting the sky.
And yet?
Charm bowed before Eddieâs easy strut. Pebbles dodged his stride. Clouds of hellish dust evaded the shine on his laced up boots. His tight jeans flaunted the subtle flex of his thighs, and his belt sloped on his narrow hips with each uneven stride, daring the world to stare at the extra length of stiff leather flopping outside the confines of the belt loops, attracting all the attention he desired to the places he wanted.
You were still in the living room struggling with the buckle on your Mary Janes when the intense, raw screams of his heavy metal music stopped, and the muffled guitars faded away. He showed up, shockingly, on time, and you shot out the door before the heavy slants of sun breaching the leafless trees could beat down on his trademark jacket rattling with dainty chains.
âHey there, sweetness.â
âHey!â you blurted in a huff, racing down the steps. Flustered by his punctuality, you made the first move of the night by snatching his hand and dragging him away.
Slighted by your absence of drooling over how cool he looked, Eddie grunted in objection, but let himself be steered away. He glanced over his shoulder at the three faces peering at him from the window, and spared them a tentative wave. They were nosy, but not in the unkind way he was used to, and for that, he was thankful.
You apologized at a hurried pace, âSorry, but if you step foot on the porch, theyâre gonna ask you a bazillion questions, and never let us leave.â
âAh,â he said, short of a laugh, âbut let me get the door for you. Wanna impress them.â
âImpress them?â Dregs of sleepy sunlight highlighted the twist of your lips. âYou come in here like a bat outta hell, blaring your music loud enough that Iâm surprised youâre not hard of hearing, and youâre worried about impressing Bobbieâs parents?â
Refusing to let your fingers slip from his when he felt your grip go weak, he tightened his hold, and opened the car door with his other hand, sidestepping awkwardly to avoid the wide swing, towing you around him.
âIs that so strange?â
âItâs a little strange.â
âGood.â He established the bond of your palm cupped to his until you sank into the red plush passengerâs seat. At the groan of the hinges, and a hard slap on the metal, he finished, âI like being strangeââ Punctuated by the door slamming shut. His cackle was far away. Shrieking silence filled your ears, interrupted by your elevated pulse pounding in your chest, and the tink of a pebble pinging the bumper when one was unfortunate enough to come into contact with his boot as he strode around the front of the car with his hands in his back pockets, stretching his shirt over the curve of his stomach.
What a lovely thing he was, truly. To lord the power of sheer captivation over you, and still ground you with a humble gaze and tender smile through a windshield flecked with dirt, as if stealing one of your five senses was a normal feat and returning it to you wasnât an act of benevolence.
He folded himself into the seat beside you and staggered his legs until he could relax fully into the position, and turned the key in the ignition. His music took residence in the sense he stole. You tensed in anticipation, but it wasnât offensive. The previous song was ending, and with you being boxed in with the speakers bullying your ears from every angle, you heard the animalistic screams as something more haunting, more beautiful. They were organic. Emotional. Conveying a longing which flowed into the next track; a restrained piece laced with sweltering lines, where each croaky utterance heated your cheeks fiercer and fiercer. Carnal of a different nature.
Intentionally avoiding eye contact with Eddie, you twisted enough to see the carseat behind you was empty. âNo Adrie?â you asked to confirm a suspicion.
âShe was invited to a sleepover for one of her friendâs birthday parties tonight,â he said.
You reeled at the information, but not for the reason you assumed. âWait, what? Thereâre people out there willing to have a hoard of five-year-olds running around their house? Like, with the screaming and everything?â
âCrazy, right? Some people still have their sanity, I guess.â He stamped the gas and clutch, revving the engine with an amused answer poised on his plump lips. âOr enough downers to get them through the night.â
The guitars increased in ferocity, drowning out his wistful reminiscing on such substances helping him through the day, pre-Adrie.
It was then you noticed an interesting detail about his compact car you didnât fully appreciate last time you were in it: there was no center console. You didnât need to check. The lack of separation was confirmed by the heat radiating from his heavy palm draped over the gear shift, and the blunt edge of his nails skimming your tights when he clicked the stick into a lower slot, dragging it along your leg. The armrests were raised, and they too touched at the base. It was no surprise when his long hair swept your clothed shoulder as he twisted around to look out the back window and put the car in reverse, avoiding the Buckleyâs dented mailbox, and lurching you against the seatbelt.
The lyrics peaked in sultry aggression.
So, no Adrie. âAm I meeting your uncle, then?â Oh, how your question was thin against the strong note the singer held. His wavering timbre penetrated you in waves, releasing a ripple of tingles from head to toe. Creating a change in the tension existing between you and Eddie when he answered in a deeper register.
âNo, heâs uh, heâs gone for the weekend,â he said, drumming his rings on the steering wheel, squeezing his fingers over the gear stick to shift it into drive. âOut playing poker with his friends. So, uh, itâs just you and me. Sâthat cool?â
So, no Adrie, and no uncle.
âYeahâYeah, thatâs cool,â you replied. Whereas his voice went lower, yours went higher at the acknowledgement. Fainter, wispier. Fluttery with the nerves in your stomach. Restless like butterfly wings beating on gusts at the explicit implication matching the subject matter pumping through the speakers.
Tonight was your first real date with Eddie, in his trailer, alone.
Soon, the dense thicket of rural Hawkins was replaced by houses and population; gone were the fields of deer, and approaching in a blur were stout brick buildings, and stop lights swinging in the slight breeze.
He slowed at the intersection where Family Videoâs neon sign struck red over the black pavement, and stopped. Eddie, being an opportunist, saw the boring wait for the light to turn green as fortuitous. It granted him the ability to gaze upon you as he wished, ready to take you in after your rushed greeting. You had robbed him of the movie-esque scene where heâd walk up to your door, knock three times, greet you with a stunning grin and compliment you until you were giggling and swooning in his arms. It was only fair he drank you in now, in the low liquid blue of the early night.
Beyond bewitched, he didn't register how methodically he traced his eyes over your body; devouring details the generous neckline of your cardigan allowed him, reaching the narrow channel of shadow where your bra assisted your chest, and the small gaps the tiny pink flowers woven into the yarn created in the chain loops, gifting him a charitable preview of the delicate lavender beneath. Appreciating how below that, your skirt wrapped your legs snugger than his arms had ever been privileged, and your tights graced skin heâd never felt. Perhaps he even lingered on the strap of your Mary Janes draped around your ankle, wondering if heâd be lucky enough to circle his fingers there one day, too.
Flattery raced your heart. Youâd never been the subject of someoneâs study to this degree, as if you were artwork to be admired. Not from any of the dates youâd been on, anyway. Not in a meaningful way, consumed wholly by someone you considered a close friend. And not while a man sang about vulgar acts in a gorgeous way.
Eddie remembered to breathe when green flashed in his periphery, and his gaze evened the playing field when he caught you dedicating entire prayers to the indecent crease at his hip and inner thigh where he rested his large palm.
âBaby, youâre beautiful,â he exhaled.
Not you look beautiful. You are beautiful.
Meeting him head-on, you smiled. âI donât have the lexicon to describe you.â His expression faltered to a confused pinch between his brows, and you reassured him, âHandsome isnât good enough anymore. Never was. No words are. They need to invent new ones.â
Leaning in, he scrunched his nose, and teased, âYou can just call me hot.â Which wouldâve been a decent line; imposing himself so near his words caressed the gloss on your lips, and finishing the hard plosiveâHotâwith the bite of his charismatic wolfish grin. But the aggravated honks killed the mood.
Two cars behind him laid on their horns, and he was startled into the reality of holding up traffic. You openly laughed at his change in demeanor, at how he scrambled to get the car going before they got angry again, all flustered and stomping too hard on the gas, sending you both slamming backwards in your seats.
âYeah, real hot stuff you got goinâ on,â you teased in return.
He stuck his tongue out in concentration as he checked the rearview mirror, speeding to put distance between him and the other cars. Dangerously, he slid his gaze to you once more, prioritizing you over the road. âAre you really gonna deny I'm the hottest guy youâve ever met? Even with all your city boys, actors, and freaks whoâve been on bigger stages than me? Guys who took you to fancy sit-down restaurants in a suit and tie? Men who drone on about finances because they chose a viable career not covered in grease? Are they really hotter than me?â
His tone was flat, and his face neutral, cracking a cavern of curiosity wide within you.
Your instinct was to treat the insecurity as genuine, but the moment you opened your mouth to restore his confidence, he smirked.
âJust kidding, baby,â he broke the act. âI know Iâm the favorite.â
Glowing with confidence, he took his hand off the gear shift to jab at your ribs, but he underestimated how thick the crochet was. Instead of tickling you, it was more of a soothing stroke along your side. And he didnât stop. He kept up the intimate gesture, brushing the fabric with his curled index finger three times. Giggling, himself, at nothing other than his own thoughts.
Gone was the swell of empathy clogging your throat. âMy favorite idiot,â you corrected in an exasperated mumble, yet leaning into the shy affection.
The cassette played static, then began a new song. Angsty still, but not quite as on the nose as the last. This, along with another dig at each other, eased the pressure preventing you two from relaxing into the evening. The awareness revealing itself in nervous glances and dry swallows digressed into your normal dynamic as friends with the benefit of flirty innocence without the stress of expectations. Those motives could stay locked between your clenched thighs, and aching against his jeanâs zipper. Tonight was the first foray into real time together, and if you watched movies and it ended there with no moves made, or romantic elements explored, then so be it. There wouldn't be any unnecessary impatience, or snap decisions made to cross those final platonic boundaries if one of you chickened out. This date would be perfect, regardless.
Right?
You could endure another day of him acting confident in front of others, only for him to buckle under the pressure and pussy out before kissing you, right?
..Right?
Whatever. The night was young, and oh, how Eddieâs giddiness for spending time with you emerged. The instant he arrived at the trailer, he jammed his thumb into the seat belt latch and commanded you to stay put. Naturally, this didnât go without a snort from you, but it escalated to true laughter when he stumbled out of the car, and sprinted around the front in a flustered jangle of chains beating on jeans, only to play it off as cool once he reached your side and opened your door for you. âYouâre silly,â you commented. His chest rose with a panting breath, and his lips jumped into a playful smirk at his own oddities. He stepped back, and swept his arm in a classic bow.
The friction burn from the seat belt slipping through your grip was balmed by the chilled leather beneath your fingers when he offered his elbow to you. You set your heeled shoes on the uneven ground, and wobbled on the deep tire tracks scoring the dried mud, and again, he was twisting this way and that, trying to figure out the best gentlemanly way to help you balance. Not that his brave palm on the small of your back wasnât warranted in the treacherous battle of shadows in the underripe evening, but even you couldnât stop your snicker when he, too, met you with a side-ways glance.
âNervous?â you asked, bringing attention to the situation for what it was.
âMe? Nervous?â He arched his eyebrows up, then brought them into a swift furrow. âNah, never. Iâm just making sure my girl doesnât twist her ankle before I get to cook for her on our second date,â he ended with a suggestive tone, canting his head to yours. Foreheads near.
Ah, the buzzing of springtime bees was trembling your fingers again, gripping him when the hive in your stomach fed honey to your hungry heart, pumping, pumping a sugar rush.
Acknowledgements. His girl. Cooking. Second date.
He was sweet. And you were trapped in the sticky nectar thrumming in your veins. It was a futile effort, after all, to convince yourself you two could act as normal friends do around each other. Truly, you lost that war when you inclined your head to his, and divulged in the same grin he wore.
âCook for me?â you repeated in a voice of ambrosia, which he partook.
âMhmm,â he hummed amongst the drone of television programs filtered through bug screened windows. âI wanna watch movies with you, cook you somethinâ nice, and remind you that Iâm not the guy I was at the movie theaterââ He flinched at the last part, accepting your weak slap to his chest. Pleased with himself for finally swooning you, he trained his gaze on your giggly sway, and squinched his eyes with mirth.
âEddie, Iâm well aware youâre not that guy.â
âOh?â he lilted. âBut arenât I? Still got the outdated haircut, stick in the mud attitude, and leather jacket.â
You slipped a finger beneath the jacket, and poked at the macabre skull on his tee. âGot a different shirt, though. Last time you were wearing a rattlesnake, now itâs..?â
âMetallica,â he finished. A softer expression deepend his dimple. There may have been a particular meaning behind it you were missing, but he didnât share. âGood memory, but may I also bring to your attention that itâs fucking freezing out here?â
Overcome by a shiver, you retracted your prodding, and he removed his hand from your lower back. The warmth was sorely missed. You agreed, it was fucking freezing and pantyhose were not a replacement for snow pants.
Eddie jostled the keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door for you to enter first, trailing behind you with a welcome to his humble abode, as if you hadnât been there several times before. But you supposed the circumstances were different when he showed you in, and a certain coziness defrosted your cheeks. The trailer was lit by a singular lamp in the living room and the nightlight from the bathroom. An electric radiator generated heat near the armrest where his pillow stayed, and at the other end of the couch was a messy pile of blankets in varying textures and thickness. A stack of three VHSes sat on the coffee table near a collection of never-used cork coasters. In the kitchen, a spread of groceries occupied the counter, along with a page from a magazine, but Eddie stole your attention before you could puzzle together the ingredients he laid out.
âSo, which one do you wanna start with first?â Eddie asked, drawing your gaze to the VHSes fanned in his palms, fingers stretched wide to contain the movies.
Subtly, he wiggled the one on the end. The green HORROR sticker on the cover appeared new; unblemished, without creases or dirt. You recognized the drippy blood stylized title as the same one printed in the local newspaper warning mothers of its gore and perversions. Less subtly, he darted his eyes to it, and made encouraging noises while presenting it closer to you. It's not like you cared what order you watched his surprise selection in, so you went with the new release he was most eager for, as opposed to the other schlocky B movies.
âSweet!â
Adorably, he told you to make yourself at home, and you both found yourselves bumping into each other in the entryway. You bent to unbuckle your shoes, and he shrugged off his jacket. Maybe you swung your knee into his shin, and he flopped the leather sleeve atop your head in retaliation. And when you stood, he jabbed his elbow into your arm before kneeling to untie his boots, and you picked a long, curly auburn hair off your sweater, holding it out and away from you as if it were revolting. âIs this what itâs like living with you?â you asked with an excessive amount of mock disgust.
ââFraid so,â he consoled, looking up at you as he worked the knot out of his laces. âAt leastâuntil I go bald.â
You tilted your head as you tried to picture him without his wild haircut, and after some consideration (and curious fingers kept laced tight to discipline yourself from running them through his curls to test the tamability of such rowdy layers cut without rhyme or reason), you concluded, âI think youâd still be the most attractive person Iâve ever met.â
His expression widened at your honesty. Pushing himself upright, he rocked side to side as he toed off his boots, and stepped beyond them, narrowing the distance between his ego and your lifted eyebrow. âMost attractive? Yeah?â
Before his head swelled to hot air balloon status from a compliment he pried out of you, you stopped him.
âBald or not, youâre still Eddie,â you expressed. âAnd thatâs what I like about you the most; your Eddieness. Regardless of your hair, youâre still that guy thatâs willing to trip over his own feet so he can open a door for me.. and cook for me, apparently.â
You drove your gaze to the ingredients on the counter, but he distracted you from venturing into that part of the date.
âUh-uh-uh,â he tsked. âMovie first, then dinner. Iâve been wanting to see this one, so make yourself comfortable. Get some blankets too, I know the radiator sucks.â The warmth it gave off rarely brought circulation to his toes when he was sleeping, much less kept him from shivering on the windy nights. âLemme get us something to drink, and Iâll put on the movie.â He chose to fill two bright red plastic glasses with water and bring them to the coffee table. They were the type of textured cup one would find at a pizzeria, and he set them directly on the wood, because why bother with coasters when most of the varnish had been worn away over the years.
Water itself shouldnât be a surprise, but the fact he chose it over beer stood out.
Interesting. You made yourself snuggly as instructed, and sat in the middle of the couch where two cushions met. Amongst the pile, you picked the thick blue and white striped comforter, and draped it over your not-quite-numb legs. He crouched in front of the TV, and popped open the VHS case, brushing his calluses over the frosted plastic cover, and shut the case with a satisfying snap. Lining the movie up with the VCR slot, he pushed on the flap, and it was accepted into the mouth of the machineâkuh-chunk, slide, whirring reels, a fuzzy high-pitched noiseâstaticy snow played, then the first commercial started, flickering a womanâs face mid-scream across the screen.
Eddie turned off the lamp, and in the sudden darkness, he slid his socked feet in timid steps across the carpet to avoid a pinky toe colliding with the coffee table, and he fell into place next to you.
The cushions sank with your combined weight. The seams separating you clashed. Hip, thigh, shoulder. Layers of clothing blazed from the heat of his proximity, setting fire to your cheeks. You werenât touching, not really, not yet, and you both stared at each other with lips slightly parted.
Your voice went unnaturally airy as you offered him the blanket, âWant some?â
And his voice was lost to the sensation of his bare arm making contact with your sweater.
He nodded.
Predictable for the genre, the next commercial advertised a pair of tits before the camera cut away, and the woman was assumed to be brutally stabbed by a masked serial killer.
He shifted. You shifted.
The comforter slid across your lap. He stole the warm pocket of air you were generating for yourself, and replaced it with the cold half of the blanket. It may have been an innocent movement, but him yanking it caused you to press against him more than you already were. His arm went rigid with tensed muscles the further you sloped into the crevice where the cushions met, stiffening against your soft body like a brick wall you had no choice but to lean on. You tried to help the situation by breaking the silence between the next commercial.
âDo you want to know another Eddieness I find endearing?â
During the first part of your sentence he didnât react. He watched the TV; jaw tight but not clenched; it was only on the last word did he turn his head, and set those big eyes of his on you.
You went ahead and answered, âItâs how shy you are.â
The hint of a deeper emotion eased from his gaze when he closed his eyes in a slow blink, and raised his brows, processing what you said. ââM not shy.â His smile grew at that, stretching half his mouth in shadow, making his nose appear larger, rounder.
âAnd awkward.â
âIâm not awkward,â he complained, tone soft and playful.
Lit by the soft grain of the movie starting on a scene of a young boy running inside pitch-black house, Eddieâs eyelashes clung to the remnants of light, curling longer, and longer. His lips lifted at the corners, testing a sneakier grin at the idea of you finding him both shy, and awkward. Words he hadnât heard in years. Descriptors he wouldâve called himself when he was still in high school and dipping his toe in the dating pool, but not since then. Not since he dabbled in liquid courage at parties and gained some experience from the confidence alcohol afforded him.. and lost when he discovered the consequences of acting impulsively, and his casual assuredness was ripped from him when his daughter was born.
Or, yeah, maybe he was always shy and awkward as you presumed, he just didnât care about peopleâs opinions when he wasnât invested in starting a future with them. Which was fine by him, you could call him dorky if you wanted, because here he was in the midst of a boyish rush of adrenaline when the lack of stressful music coming from the TV became ominous, and the excitement of his plan working vibrated in his chest.
âOh! And youâreââ Whatever adjective you were about to use was bitten short.
Paying more attention to him than the movie, you missed the build up of the masked killerâs reflection in a mirror, and were caught off guard by the boyâs sudden blood curdling scream trilling above the heart-racing violin screeches. It wasnât even a good jumpscareâtotally predictableâbut you still jolted from it.
Eddie lurched into a devious smirk. âMovie getcha, pretty girl?â
It was your turn to be defensive. You pouted, âNo. It just surprised me, is all.â
âAw, come on,â he implored in a gravelly urge. Under the thinning comforter, between the mountains of compacted cotton from overwashing it, there was movement, and the unmistakable contact of the back of his hand on your nylon tights. He bumped you once. âHere, if itâs that scary, you can hold my hand, okay?â
As snarky as his teeth glinted, as teasing as his words were, both of your chests rose with a mutual suspended breath.
This was the line. The barrier. The emotional boundaries were dust, only the physical ones remained. He invited you over them as gingerly as a grown adult man could when on his first true date in years, and the fresh fear of making a move on his crush spiked his rejective-sensitive nerves.
âYeah, youâre right,â you exhaled. Holding his gaze with the same fondness which existed in your heart, you found the edge of his hand after some sightless venturing. At the graze of skin on skin, you dropped your head to the side, and appealed to him, âItâs so scary.â Across the room, the TV played a calm, serene daytime scene with birds chirping in the background. âSo terribly scary,â you repeated, facetiously pitiful. âThereâs no way Iâll get through to the end all on my lonesome.â
But rather than hold hands perfectly between the both of you like the pious churchgoing teenagers youâd felt yourselves become, you went in for the kill.
Drawing back, you wedged your fingers between his arm and his ribs, and after a beat, he understood and lifted his elbow. You snaked your hand along his forearm, and down to his awaiting palm. His jeans were rough; his palm was too, torn asunder by his trade to ensure a roof over his and his familyâs head, but the spaces between were softer. Love gentled the joints digging into your bones. Your fingers had to stretch to accommodate him, and the wintery dryness pulled at your unlotioned knuckles, but the twinge was forgotten when you focused on your hand in his hand. Your hand in his hand. Your hand in his hand.
You dragged your attention away from the entanglement of your selves finding a missing half under the blanket, and searched his face. His eyes flicked from the same knot stirring under the comforter, and the wrinkles in his expression flourished. He thinned his lips into a tight smile. His cheeks were never that full, but there was a roundness there youâd give anything to discover by touch. Youâd been closer to him before, like in the kitchen when you counted his freckles after your painfully geeky dagger innuendo, but if you leaned in any further, your vision would blur.
An obvious awkwardness dwelled in the intimacy of your entwined arms, and tensed bodies.
âSo, so scary,â you promised during the exposition dialogue taking place on a sunny morning between the characters eating cornflakes at a large dining table. âIâll probably have to cling onto you the entire time with my eyes shut.â
His voice cracked high pitched, âYeah?â Feathery soft, on the verge of disappearing altogether. âGuess Iâll have to be the brave one, then.â
âSo very brave,â you said, sweet as sugar.
He snorted whereas you giggled, converging with heads together, and a laugh shared, hands held so very bravely. A breakthrough. One second at a time, you melded into his shadows, as you belonged. You angled yourself toward him and tucked your legs onto the couch, freely huddling your knees against his thigh. Your joined hands were nudged onto his leg more, and the clasp became sticky from perspiration. That was okay. There was a thrill in being the reason each other sweated. He curled in his fingers harder, nesting them between the peaks of your knuckles, and you returned the honor by hooking your fingers between his, lightly squeezing him back. One second at a time, he sought your sunshine, as he belonged. He made sure the pressure of his arm and elbow boxing yours in against his side wasnât painful, slouching a bit so the top of his leather belt wasnât digging into your forearm. He was thoughtful that way. Concerned for you and your comfort. Didnât matter if his lower back would be killing him by the end of the first movie, you were wrapping your free hand around his bicep and rubbing your thumb under the short sleeve of his shirt, back and forth. Back and forth. Then, you were resting the side of your head on his shoulder.
He heard youâfelt youâinhale deep. Why? Was it to fill your lungs with the scent of his deodorant, the cheap cologne he spritzed at his chest, the drip of Old Spice aftershave on his shirt collar? Was any of that better than oxygen?
Curious, he tilted his head as if something in the movie had him stumped, and he put his nose to the top of your hair, and took a small breath.
A different shampoo than usual hit him first, but below that, clinging to your clothes, was the smell of Robinâs home. He was struck with the thought of what his home smelled like. Was it good? Bad? Could, over time, over months, over difficult questions he couldnât bring himself to ask, could maybe by the end of summer your two homes combine to make one unique scent?
That would be the dream. And a dream, it may remain. But what a lovely reality it would be; you staying, and your scents mixing to create a new one.
So lost in his thoughts, he didnât predict the fake-out jumpscare of a murder of crows taking flight after an eerie bout of silence, and he was the one to flinch.
âAw, movie too scary for ya, big guy?â you cooed.
Eddie sealed his lips in a frown, and tucked his chin to create the maximum amount of wrinkles when he looked down at you. âMaybe a little. Good thing I have you here with me, though. Right?â
You nodded most ardently, squishing your cheek over his scorpion tattooâjust another place on his body you made your homeâand grinned up at him.
âOf course, babe.â You called him babe. He smiled so fucking hard. âIâm here if you ever need me to hold your hand.â
You squeezed.
He squeezed back.
Scenes went by on the tiny TV across the room beyond the condensation pebbling on the plastic cups threatening to fall on the coffee table where Adrieâs box of crayons spilt into her coloring book. A story unfolded in the flash of blade, a clatter of piano keys, and a quiet neighborhood who knew no better. The movie played, but neither of you paid attention.
Your gaze was keen to the way his lips stayed parted after he licked them. His gaze was invested in your expression, how you viewed him with such kindness he was seldom shown. A tenderness he was rarely given. He tried to show you the same sincerity, but your eyes were fixated on his mouth.
Self-conscious, he asked, âIs there something on myâ?â He rubbed the back of his wrist over lips.
You answered him with a belittling pat on his chest. âNo, big guy. Youâre good.â
Your tone didnât sound âgood,â but you pulled the blanket up to your chin, and laid your head on his shoulder again, wrapping your other hand around his bicep until your fingers were stuffed between his arm and side. He interpreted your change in mood as a signal the conversation was over, and put his eyes on the movie. Though, his brain was busy toiling over why you were staring at him, and wondering if the pats on his chest were still echoing beneath your ear, or if it was simply his heart threatening to strangle him from the angst of not understanding if he did something wrong already.
At least he was holding your hand like a real boyfriend would. That had to count for something.. Right?
~~~
The credits rolled, and neither of you moved until you pointed out a name scrolling by, and a laugh so akin to a man being punched in the gut wheezed out of him, it caused you to erupt into your own embarrassing goose honk laugh, causing you to both double over in a fit.
Somehow, his nose was nuzzled to your hair. His inhale was cool on your scalp, and his words were a humid huff. âBart Horsedick,â he said, âWhatta name.â
âYou should name a character after him in DND.â
âMm! You know what? I will. Heâll be a local legend with all the ladies, and tries to charm his way into the party by constantly making passes at the girls. Erica will kill him for sure.â
With a groan and a wince, he sat up straighter, and you lifted your head off his shoulder, making similar complaints about your neck. It was tough work being brave during the scary parts for each other, regardless if neither of you were paying enough attention to care about the reveals.
He asked, âHowâd you like the movie? Even that last scene kinda got me.â
âYeah, it was good,â you answered in the same tone, searching for anything to say that wasnât, If you donât kiss Iâm going to fucking scream. âI wasnât expecting the second killer to be the news reporter. That was kinda cool. And that final death was super gory, with the guts ând all, but uh, Iâm starving, and ready for something campy.â
Heeding his ladyâs request, Eddie dashed around the room, turning on a few of the eclectic lamps, and jabbed the backwards arrow button on the VCR until the movie was playing in reverse at a hilarious speed. âBe kind, rewind, yâknow.â Once it clicked, he took the tape out, and put the next one in.
You followed him into the kitchen where the groceries were laid out on the counter. Some were things he already had, like the half-empty bottle of olive oil, and two government supplied cans of vegetable stock, but from the fridge he added an unopened tub of butter, a container of mushrooms, and a wedge of parmesan cheese. He put them beside the onion, fresh sprigs of parsley, and special bag of rice. Ingredients he bought specifically for a meal he didnât know how to make, but knew it was impressive, and wanted to try cooking it for you.
You picked up the magazine clipping and raised your eyebrows at the recipe.
He fidgeted, spinning his rings. His voice was hesitant; falling back on self-deprecating humor as a crutch, âI know youâve probably been to France, or, uhh, Italy or whatever,â he guessed, âandâve learned from experts on how to make it perfectly, but I thought maybe Iâd give it an attempt and hope it turns out edible. Just forgive my shit knife skills, and if I pour too much broth, or donât stir it the exact number of rotations, or some pretentious bullshit like that,â he finished, gaze solidly on the floor, toeing at a scuff on the vinyl to occupy himself. ââM not exactly a chef outside a can of Boyardee, so..â
Some of his mumbling was lost on you as you read the bottom of the page. Narrowing your eyes at the title printed beside a number in the corner, you put your fist on your hip. âEdward Munson.â He snapped out his worrying at the use of his full name. âDid you rip this out of one of my lobby magazines at work?â
He rolled his lips inward to curb his grin. âNo, no, of course not, dear,â he promised, finding it the most opportune moment to turn away, and organize the ingredients in no practical order.
âI swear if I go to work Monday and find Better Homes and Gardens missing page 57ââ
âOkay, okayâIâll tape it back in, but give me some credit, will ya? I didnât rip it out like some animal.. I cut it out neatly with scissors.â He eyed your harmless smirk, and plucked the mushroom risotto recipe from between your fingers. âNow, if youâd like to get out of my hair, you may,â he said, gesturing at the TV with a knife. âSkedaddle. Go watch the movie.â
âYou donât want me to help? Or at least to keep you company?â
It wasnât often he was tripped up on what to say, so when his mouth hinged on a mute excuse to get you to leave, you registered what he was going on about earlier, and shook your head.
âWait, Eddie, I worked in kitchens prepping vegetables when the cooks were too drunk to come in on time because they went home with some random woman from a bar, and were too hungover to know what day it was. Thatâs why Iâm like, okay-ish with a knife. You donât really think Iâd judge you for how you chop an onion, do you?â
A few words were stammered. You shushed him from bothering.
If his confidence had trouble surfacing when everything was out in the open and not hidden under a blanket, then youâd give him another nudge; a single stroke of your knuckle along the monster tattooed on his tricep. The muscle reacted to you, flexing the wyvernâs clawed feet. You did it again. And again. Pinching his sleeve and tugging at it, doing all the cutesy, flirty things youâd learned over the years, including dropping your gaze to his pretty pink lips. Employing your best strategies, you laid it on thick; swaying your hips, and bringing in your arms to frame your chest. âYou could heat me up a can of Chef Boyardee, and itâd be the best meal Iâve ever had, as long as I got to share it with you.â
Shy, shy, shy. He brought his shoulder up and ducked his face from your view, giggling at your heavy adulation. âYou donât have to flatter me like that,â he mumbled, sounding not unlike he was wrapped in a ball of lovesick yarn. Overly smitten, ooey gooey with the warm fuzzies in his chest. So very, very adorable, sneaking a glance at you with an unbelieve amount of precious crinkles at the corners of his eyes.
How sweet.
Itâd be sweeter if he could take the hint and share those kinds of things with you, but you could be patient and wait until he was ready. Again..
Just.. keep making everything so obvious for him, and try to ignore the sting of rejection when the guy youâve liked for months finally invites you over for a date, and still wonât kiss you.
At least you were saved from the worst of your downward spiral by the bad B movie and its body melting scene.
âOoh!â Eddie pushed the cutting board away. âThat effect was really cool!â
Since he was already making his way to the TV, you trailed at his heels, and crouched beside him, sinking to your knees while he pressed the rewind button, and clicked Stop/Play twice. The lead up to the moment played again. You sat in anticipation, wholly aware youâd just watched this interaction between the college girls putting their best effort into delivering their lines, only for them to fall flat when their acting was off the charts horrendous. Eddie regarded them with the same sort of awkwardness, rotating his hand in hurried circles until one of them got obliterated into a goopy pile of human remains, and you began to dissect the undulating puddle of sludge.
âHow do you think they made that one?â he whispered, mesmerized. âThe way it pulses like that?â
âI think itâs from a balloon inflating beneath it. Watch the way the flesh cracks, and the blood oozes out. I think itâs something like that pushing it up from under.â
He hummed, and rewound the tape a few seconds. âYeah, yeah, I see what you mean,â he said, tapping his finger on the thick curved glass. âAnd look at that bone. It actually looks like a charred, brittle skeleton instead of those cheap femurs everyone gets at the party store for Halloween.â You also agreed with him in a hum. The extra touches of effort were impressive for a low budget film like this.
The movie continued inches from your eyes. You rested on your calves, flattening the plush carpet under your shins. The harsh fibers were dulled by your pantyhose, and if this was a spot Eddie had to scrub clean after Adrie spilled juice, you werenât aware of the stain; you were only aware of the hair-raising sensation of being watched.
You directed your attention to Eddieâs pointed stare on the side of your face, about to ask if there was a reason behind his adamant inspection whenâ
He dropped his gaze to your lips.
Sparks ignited behind your ribcage. Hopefulness latched onto each long second wherein he resisted flicking his eyes back to the screen. Each passing breath a choice to follow the gentle curve of your mouth, and stay there to revel in the simple pleasure of studying the unspoken language evolving between you two, sinking into his own warm grin for you to decipher. He was still crouching on the balls of his feet, and you had to wonder if he leaned over to kiss you now, would he lose his balance and cause you both to fall to the floor? Would he catch the back of your head in his palm to soften the crash? Would his hips fit perfectly between your legs? Would his jeans drag along your inner thighs? Would he whimper when you held him? Would he grind down on you at the first sign of reciprocation? Would he already be hard?
Your thigh muscles ached at the racing thoughts, clenched so tight in response to the needy throb between them.
Was the unspoken language shouting now?
Eddieâs throat bobbed on a stuttered exhale; his chest shook at fractions of his inhale, as if he was experiencing the same tightness there from the rosy desire blooming so greatly, struggling to cope with the oxygen in his lungs when there were far sweeter things theyâd rather be filled with. âIââ He stopped. âI read a review on the back of the box that said this movie was scary too,â he informed you in whisper, right when a godawful green alien appeared and shot the worst CGI laser youâd ever seen from your peripheral vision. âBetter hang out with me in the kitchen, where we can keep each other safe.â
You urged your yearning away from his mouth to the neon colors of a spaceship glancing off his cheeks, to his large nose, to the tips of his bangs skimming his eyebrows, to the bags under his eyes, and finally, you caught the last moments of him roaming your features with utmost care before your gazes locked.
The floor beneath him creaked.
Briefly, you considered closing your eyes.
The carpet flattened in a muffled rustle.
Briefly, you considered uttering his name.
The dry air in the room vanished with his humid huff coasting over your forehead.
Briefly, you considered begging him when he pushed off his knees, stumbled slightly towards you, and stood, offering you a helping hand.
He said, âGotta make this dinner for you before I starve, sweetness.â
Kissless, you fought against your inner bitterness, and accepted his fingers. To hide your wilting resilience, you put a swing of vigor in your voice, and happiness on your face. âYeah, watching hot blondes perish into goo really makes one hunger for sloppy rice with mushrooms.â
Well, at least you could always make him laugh.
~~~
Onion skin crunched under Eddieâs heavy chop. The papery layer was discarded. Laying the halves on the textured cutting board, he dragged the knife in long slices out from the root, then rotated to dice it into cubes. He blinked away fresh tears, and beside him, you scraped the sweated mushrooms into a bowl, and placed the pan back on the burner for him to sweep his prepped vegetables into. They sizzled on impact. You stirred the mixture with a wooden spoon, and made sure nothing seared to the bottom.
Steam rose from the bowl of cooked mushrooms. Slippery oil slicked their surface, adding to the smells of onion and garlic. Condensation fogged the tiny window above the sink. The rice began to toast. A burnt popcorny, yet pleasantly floral fragrance mixed with the sour note of cheap white wine bubbling down to nothing, and salty splashes of broth.
Mostly, the continuous stirring was done passively because you were both watching the movie from across the room. When it was your turn at the stove, you grasped the skillet handle and moved the spoon around in some sort of pattern, but your upper body was twisted towards the TV. When it was his turn, you took his place at the wrap around counter, bending over to rest your forearms on it, savoring his body heat baked into the surface under your palms before it faded and was replaced by your own.
The last VHS was inserted. No commercials on this older tape.
You grated the last of the cheese into the rice, and tipped in the mushrooms. Behind you, there were two metallic latch sounds followed by two loud bangs. Eddie sucked in a hiss, and apologized. You were too busy portioning out the risotto to see what in the world he was doing, but the sharp clicks of his lighter were distinct, as was the notch turns of the unnecessary lamps being turned off, casting you in dimmed ambiance.
Garnishing the meal with parsley, you scooped up the bowls and turned.
âTa-da,â he said meekly, opening up his arms with weak pizazz.
You were stunned at the effort.
The collapsable ends of the green table hung by their hinges, making the surface area impossibly intimate. On top, there were three lit candlesticks to set the mood, and underneath, the seats of the chairs almost touched. The whole thing was incredibly sweet. Thoughtful. Endearing. He had trouble meeting your eye.
Eddie glanced at the unscented candles burning bright for practicalityâs sake. The first wet drip of wax joined the others melted down the side since the last time he used them when the power went out. Not exactly romantic. âHas, uhm, anyone made you risotto before?â he asked, and tacked on, âAt home?â when the fear of not being the first smacked the words out of him.
âNo,â you stated. âNo one's ever done something so sweet for me.â
His lower lip twitched, and he ran his tongue over his teeth to quell the giddiness from exploding. And to stop himself from celebrating too soon.
As you carried the bowls towards his attempt to recreate a fine dining experience, he tried to push aside the thoughts of inadequacyâthe candles, the fact he couldnât take you to a real restaurant, the flowers he decided against because he no longer had a vase, the nagging voices in his head that told him this whole idea was stupidâand instead, he focused on anything else. Anything, anything else.
âHere, lemme help you, sweetâOw, ow, ow, owâJesus, do you have hands of steel or somethinâ?â The candles wobbled when he dropped the bowl on the table, and you both froze as they teetered back and forth, praying your second date didnât go up in literal flames.
When they came to a rest, you both sighed.
âHands of steel, huh?â you mused. âI think they feel kinda soft compared to yours.â
Quickfire, he picked up on the age-old flirt you used on him months ago (back when he was dumb, and genuinely thought he was the one flirting with you by suggesting you come back to him when you found a spider as big as his palm), and he concurred, âMaybe we need to compare them again. Yâknow, really get in there and make sure I have the toughest hands in the Midwest.â Adopting a southern drawl, he stuffed his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans, and puffed out his chest. âCanât let a lilâ lady who answers phones with âYellow?â have stronger hands than me, now can we?â
You pinged him with a wry expression twinged with cringe, and sat down, scooting your chair in, and looking up at him still standing. âYou are so pitifully dorky.â
âI sure am, sweetheart,â he said proudly, falling into the chair across from you.
Your knees collided under the table; bone on bone due to his inability to wear jeans without holes in them. They knocked painfully, and while he did remember to apologize when you winced, he was distracted by the silly notion that his bare knees were the second body part to make contact with your tights. The back of his hand during the movie didnât lend much to his senses, now he had a better feel of the texture, and how it rubbed against his skin. A strangely marvelous thing. And he was getting ahead of himself, sure, but he wondered how your tights must feel under the same rugged palm he was offering to you upturned on the table while below, his thoughts were erring away from respectful visions of circling his thumb over your knee cap while you were stretched across the couch with your legs in his lap, to something he felt unworthy to ask for.
Oh, but how he ached to be the one who was trusted to keep you warm when you were undressed..
Your chair squeaked. You changed the position to where your legs were bracketed by his wide spread. Perfect, because he brought in his stance and crossed his ankles behind yours, locking your thighs and calves between his, as if you were his possession, unable to escape. Indulging him, you giggled, and squirmed to the edge of your seat, taking his hand. His right, your left. A polite union of criss-crossed fingers. Mountainous calluses mapped against rolling hills of satin. Flickering candlelight dancing off the silver band of his ring. Kind, and sweet.
He gripped his spoon in an unnatural way, dragging it through the risotto, and bumping the ceramic.
âI can hold your other hand,â you offered, motioning at where you could link his non-dominant hand in the space between your bowls.
His voice was made of mushy tenderness, but his clipped tone left no room for argument, âNah, I like it this way.â If you didnât understand why yet, you did when you traced his gaze to his wrist. The beads had shifted from where they dug into his flesh. Squares from the blocky letters left indents in his skin, as did the corners of star beads interspersed throughout the round ones. Opposite D-A-D-D-Y, your sleeve was bunched up from cooking, baring the precious nickname M-O-U-S-E.
Your eyelids fell half-closed. The fondness on your lips wasnât a result of the risottoâas delicious as the first bite wasâno, the sentiment was much too darling. Almost as if you could hear the dormant vocabulary you awoke running hot in his veins. My girl, my girl, my girl is wearing the matching bracelet my daughter made for us, and Iâve never wanted anything more than another excuse to call you my girl out loud; I want it so bad I could cry.
âYou did such a good job on this,â you complimented the risotto after taking another bite.
Fate. âIt only tastes good because I had my girlâs help.â Under no circumstance was he about to make eye contact after saying that. In fact, he avoided sound altogether when he angled his spoon so he wouldnât scrape it along his teeth a second time, and blew on the porridge-like rice before sliding the richness over his tongue, alighting his mouth with mellowed complexities for such unassuming ingredients. As he ate, he listened to you eat too. As he glanced, you glanced too. As he embellished his grin with a secret, you snuck in one of your own through the mysterious sharpness in your eyes boring into his too. He didnât question it, didnât breathe, didnât make a sound above the panicked yelling happening in the movie in the other room; for now, he was content with holding your hand and calling you his girl.
The pressure to continue conversation waned.
He squeezed.
You squeezed back.
~~~
Dinner was finished in cherished bites. The movie was in the process of concluding, as most of the cast had been killed off by the time Eddie uncrossed his ankles and released you. He blew out the candles and stood, already regretting the act when the imprint of your body faded from his between his legs.
While he filled the sink with soapy water, you put away the forgotten ingredients, and wiped up the counter with a wet rag in absentminded circles, thoroughly invested in the slasherâs âforest chase sceneâ probably filmed in someoneâs momâs backyard.
Once the frothy bubbles sloshed to the rim with each dish put in, and the clammy air was brightened by the scent of blue Dawn liquid soap, Eddie rolled the stretchy bracelet up his forearm and began dunking the glass cup used for measuring the broth. He ran his hand around the inside to rid it of the gritty residue left behind. Dipping the thin washcloth, he submerged his hands up to his wrists in skin prickling hot water, and brought the cup out, exposing his chafed knuckles to the sting of cold air. He washed it, rinsed it under even colder water, and handed it off to you. You toweled it dry, and put it in the cupboard next to the fridge.
Over and over, he washed, you dried. He washed, you dried.
Routine, monotonous, robotic and quiet.
Outer input died away. No more movie, no more hot water, no more spoken conversation, no more meaningful glances, nor more intimate nicknames, no more inappropriate touches stolen under the guise of a drunken night. Just his thoughts, insecurities, anxieties, and hopes and the instant foreboding stress wrenching his stomach with fear of those hopes never coming true.
The air was thick with awareness.
You were in his home. The date was coming to an end, and so was his bravery. This was his chance, and he was letting it slip by him. Again.
Heâd run out of excuses. Or rather, he reasoned with the excuses, and now he was facing the real problem. All the stuff from months ago about him not knowing if you liked him, your flighty lifestyle, the dynamic of being coworkers and worrying if itâd make things weird, the conversation he never had with Adrie; forgoing divulging his hobbies, his music, or his past with you because he didnât see the point; those things he conquered. Those things no longer bothered him. Those things had answers putting them to rest.
Now, there was nothing keeping him from pursuing you except his own inhibitions..
Sad, how even when he had the courage to get this far with you, the differences in your lives served as a reminder he was just a poor boy from Indiana whose greatest aspiration was owning a trailer of his own so his uncle could have his room back. You had a drama degreeâhell, you went to college in the first place. You had real dreams, and achieved semblances of those dreams before coming to Hawkins. A star as bright as you shouldnât have to peter out in a town in the middle of nowhere. You needed the city to thrive, to perform on stage again. It was your calling, wasnât it? Munson wasnât calling you like your previous life, was it? You spoke of your accomplishments so highly. Would you ever learn to speak of him that way? Would he, one day, become one of your stories? A memory you moved on from?
Or did he deserve to ask you to give up everything you loved and earned to settle down in a dead-end shithole that hated him, and help him raise a child that wasnât yours, tying yourself to his reputation forever?
What if he asked those things of you? Would you say âyesâ?
Shit.
While the sea of doubt churned in his head, he rinsed off the ceramic bowl you used to eat from, and blinked the sting from his eyes after staring off into space for too long. He waited to hand it to you until you had put a pan away in the lower cabinet under the wrap-around counter, and accepted the bowl, drying it off and ping-ponging to the other side of the kitchen to the upper cabinet above the toaster. You didnât have to guess. You knew exactly where it went. You were familiar with the precise drawer the spatula went in, next to the cutlery one where you tossed in the spoons. There was a beautiful domesticity to it all; washing dishes with you as if it were a nightly occurrence. Like you lived here. Together. You, him, Adrie, and his uncleâpreferably not in that arrangement, and not in this trailer, but the vision.. the vision was there. You and him rejecting the bullshit small town mentality, and creating a life in Hawkins you could both be proud of, free from strife. A do-over, in a way, with you at his side, and his daughter on your hip.
The pit of self-loathing in his stomach yawned.
Those idyllic fantasies were too much to ask for. Too much to even risk speaking out loud. He could feel the rejection welling up behind his eyes as it were, wobbling at his bottom lip. The crushing reality of being a lonely single dad with nothing to offerâ
You slammed the cabinet door shut, and tossed the towel aside. âSo, are we gonna pick up where that phone call left off, or not?â
Eddie stilled under your loaded stare.
You remembered you remembered you rememberedâ
âIf you adore me so much..â you added.
Jolted into action, the last dish slipped from his fingers, splashing and bouncing sluggishly off the bottom of the sink. Adrenaline hit him in droves. Frantic stings of want pushed him forward. Chores were forgotten. Mind blank. The soft thuds of his stride thundered off the thin walls. Pace quickened. Pulse beating in his throat. Vice grip on his heart. Months, weeks, days, hours of keeping his starvation alive through longing looks and inside jokes and hands brushing hands in fragile innocence, denying the vital comfort he craved to experience with the one person who made him feel special; the yearning reached its peak.
Predatory hunger rushed color to his cheeks at the remarkable sight of his dearest dream going slack with surprise.
He secured his fate with his arm wrapped around your waist, sweeping his hand upwards and dragging your cardigan with it. Water dripped to his elbows, cooling the wicked fever igniting his skin. He poured his strength into bringing you into him at the same time he stepped into you, forcing you back, back, back until the distance keeping you apart was eliminated, caging you where you gave him his final nudge beyond the brink of composure. His hips coaxed you side to side. His legs boxed you in where he commanded. Each motion pressed his strong, needy body to yours, driving the edge of the countertop into your lower back. Sway by sway, a dance of insurmountable patience built over months met its breaking point. You went pliant for him. No fight, only a small noise when he engulfed you in his aggressive embrace.
You gathered the hem of his shirt in your weak fists. His sudden leap over the platonic line broke goosebumps across your exposed midriff, tightening your nipples against the delicate lavender lace. The tremble in your knees was juxtaposed by his steady hand tilting your face up to his.
Sudsy bubbles burst on the peach fuzz beneath your ear from where he cupped your jaw. Droplets trickled to the base of your neck, curving over your breasts, and beading on the surface of your cardigan. He swept his fingers in an untamed stroke over your cheek. He tested a deeper angle, fitting his broad grasp to your chin and compelling you to lean in with the heel of his palm guiding you, drawing you forward, supporting the pout of your bottom lip with the base of his thumb.
His nose whistled when he took a shallow breath. The wet, soapy trails left in his handâs wake went cold against his sigh coasting over your skin. Again, he tried another breath. Deeper; initiating the unadulterated intimacy of his stomach filling out and pushing against yours. More. The great expanse of his shoulders squared with confidence, and his muscles braced under your tender exploration. Your weak grip left his waist to climb up the confines of his arms, passing over his ribs and the flat plane of his pecs to place the lightest touch at the base of his neck. Closer. The serious glint in his eyes blurred as he neared.
The tip of his nose butted the apple of your cheek.
âCan I kiss you?â he spoke aloud for the first time, words breaking on the whisper.
You answered him in a faint, insatiable, âYes.â
He imposed himself more. Frame on frame. Unyielding body leaned and curved around your softness, channeling every repressed feeling heâd had since you met into pinning you against the counter. Gradually, he dropped his head into a better angle; grinding forehead on forehead, tracing his perfect nose along yours, tilting so his mouth hovered fractions above a decision.
He teased, âAre you only saying that because itâs your policy?â
You smiled against the edge of his thumb after spying his sly grin through your heavy lashes. âNo,â you stressed the single word, speaking through the mild irk of impatience building like an itch that could not be scratched in the marrow of your bones.
Anticipation clung to the prolonged gossamer blinks before they lulled into closed eyes, and slow swallows of air until lungs were poised on a held breath.
Every syllable of his next question dragged his lower lip across yours. âAre you my girl?â
âEddieââ
The whine. The beg. The genuine plea of his name.
Organically imperfect, he smashed his mouth to yours. It was a harsh collision of teeth to lips, and a startled grunt at the abrupt impact, but neither of you cared. Reservations were off. You clung desperately to his shirt, stretching the cotton around his neck and biting the ball chain necklace into his throat, striving for a needier kiss; sparking a heady rush of awareness to the oversensitive areas reacting to the animalistic push and pull of him gaining control, advocating for his own fight in the flex of his thighs driving you into the creaky doors of the cabinetry. The fervency spurred him on. You combed your fingers through the downy curls at his nape, and he did not hesitate slipping a hand under your sweater to smooth his palm to your bare waist. And fuck, how you arched your back on instinct.
Nasally grunts of pain descended to pleasant hums from the throat.
Unable to divide his attention, the kisses went sloppier. Rushed. Awkward, and clumsy. He slotted his mouth to yours with too much force, to the point of bruising your spit slicked lips, and the wet smack pulled a submissive whimper from the places heâd yet to take. The flush blotching his throat ran hot like flames, heating the Old Spice aftershave on his skin. The scent aided the dizzy lurch in your head, lost to the dull lamplight beyond your eyelids, rocking you onto your toes and falling back on your heels in the swirling give-and-take of his unstated needs reaching levels of crisis only you could solve. A pain you could cure as you crammed your nose to his cheek, spread your fingers firmly against his skull, and kissed your friend harder than he kissed you.
Hums lowered into a depraved moan.
The intensity of your reciprocation fueled his ego. Seeking, he moved his chivalrous hand from cupping your face, downwards. Grabbing, seizing, squeezing. After refraining from so much for so long, he was mesmerized by the curve of your shoulder, the sway of your lower back, the waistband of your scratchy polyester skirt. He roved until he found your ribs, and he molded his fingerprints there, branding you with the sensation of his thumb beneath your underwire bra. It was a messy exploration. His excitement had him bearing his weight down on you, and when your strained feet failed to steady him, your ankle gave. Knees bumped; he stepped on your toes. He fell into you and matched the pain of the counter prodding your tender flesh with the bulk of his leather belt scraping your stomach. No apology. Not with words. It was the safety and protection of his arm crooked between you and the laminate countertop which rescued you, and as a reward, he dropped his forearm from the cusp of your hips and feasted his thick fingers on a handful of your ass, rocking you into him.
There was no other way to react to the blunt suggestion.
Heavy, uneven breaths were panted across the otherâs sore lips as you both withdrew to gauge the next step. He scoped your features with urgency, darting from your relaxed brows, to your keen gaze. There was an etching of insecurity marring the honey in his gentle brown eyes when you were too dazed to remember to smile, jumping to conclusions in his worrisome ways.
He really did worry too much.
Bringing your hand out of his curls, you grazed the strained tendon on the side of his neck, and worked your way up. You trailed your knuckles along his cheek, swept them under his wispy bangs, and put your fingertips to his temple, triggering a shivered sigh and fluttering lashes at the new touch.
You answered him as you combed his hair away from his face, âIâm your girl.â
The instant sincerity of his red, swollen lips kicking up into an uneven grin invoked a raw tenderness to his pink nose scrunching in playfulness, and the corner of his eyes going tight with happiness.
âYeah?â he asked, voice hoarse from the exertion of kissing you senseless.
âYeah,â you promised in another caress.
For a moment, he held your gaze with the importance of someone understanding what it meant to be by his side and to be seen with him out in Hawkins public; as if he were on the verge of crying from the sheer gratitude of your policy landing you here, in his arms, on this night, wanting to be his.
Eddie peered into your eyes again. His wide pupils and dusky cheeks spoke of the nature of his body, but behind that, lurking beneath his fibrous sinew was the same innate marrow telling him this was okay. This was right. Just let go.
Just let go.
He listened.
As wild as he took you minutes before, he was ready to luxuriate in the nuances of affection. He pressed his mouth closed in a dry swallow, and raised his hand from your ribs, beckoning your cheek into the stifling heat of his palm. The throbbing pulse in his neck beat a rhythm to his chest, rising and falling in a quick cadence until he was able to discipline his attention away from the obvious snag of his zipper on your skirt.
He relaxed into another kiss. It may have been the hundredth of the night, but it was pivotal. Something changed. The frantic clashing lessened, and the cravings heightened.
Consistent as he was in taking things slow, he knew how to make you feel cherished. He took your bottom lip between his and dragged it as he broke the chain from one kiss to the other, as if the extra second he claimed a part of you was crucial to his survival. Truly indulging in the full potential of someone witnessing the many bad days of his life and still wanting to cook dinner with him. Someone enjoying the harmonized hum of your lips converging while you scratched small circles on his scalp above his ears. Someone willing to hear his shameful complaints about fatherhood, and not judge him when he took his lunch break in his car, cranking the seat back to rest his blood-shot sleepless eyes, instead of sharing a coke with them in the breakroom. Someone heâd come to rely on; a constant in his life.
He poured his coffee potâs worth of trust into you, and you answered him with the blissful endeavor of your fingers scaling his forearm, brushing through the thin hair growing like wheat and pushing the beaded bracelet up to his wrist, cupping your hand over his on your cheek. D-A-D-D-Y. M-O-U-S-E. In turn, you drank his insecurities and added your own, overflowing with the mutual truth that neither of you had been in a stable relationship lasting longer than a month, and this whole thing shouldâve been very scary.
But it wasnât scary.
It was slow and steady.
The heaviness of his body returned. Hands wandered aimlessly. Arms entwined, untangled, confused themselves on who was where. Attentive fingertips glided over woven yarn and cotton, following the dips and curves and slopes; basking in the reverence of married threads and validation. Legs shuffled, spreading and accommodating. Jaws went slack. Languid tongues merged, lazy and hot. He palmed your ass in a lax grip, easing your hips flush against his. You answered with a purposeful roll intending to earn some friction, but you couldnât reap the benefits on account of one problem..
Your skirt was stretched to the fabricâs maximum allowance, creating a taut buffer keeping him at bay. Any motion was nullified by the hindrance. Noticing this, he shifted to be better cradled by your thighs, and a delicious gift was granted with the tandem action of your bodies joining.
He flattened his hands on the countertop behind you and blessed you with a proper long drawl of his hips; pausing in an open mouthed kiss because the noise you madeâthe noise you madeâthe noise the noise the noise you madeâ
Your quick inhale faltered, flattering the hard press of his cock with a shameless gasp.
Eddie halted at the top of the motion from your involuntary praise, and locked eyes with you. Just like when he made you laugh, he wanted to witness your pleasure, soak in your reverent stare and pride himself on the way you asked for moreâby sinking back and away and rutting upwards, instigating a filthy tension on the layers separating you; panties, nylon, polyester skirt, seams on seams on seams of harsh denim, and his choice of boxers; and God, you thrived on the bulk behind his zipper caressing you for the first time where climaxes were born. Your moan hinged on his satisfaction, and in a dare, you pivoted the descent of your roll towards the right, capturing between you his stiff length tenting towards his pocket. And when you arched into a slow grind on the baseâsliding him along the curve of your clothed heatâhe released his own pretty noise.
âMmâfuck,â he groaned into your mouth.
Gravitating elsewhere, he left messy kisses on your jaw and brushed his nose over the peach fuzz on your cheek to put his love-bitten lips to your ear. Gravelly with want, he asked, âWhen did you remember what happened that night?â
A dirty throb pulsed where he buried himself between your legs, striving for the angle which had you grasping at his narrow hips as a silent plea for him to drive into you harder.
âOh,â you panted into his hair sticking to your mouth. Answering casually as you could despite your face running hot, and your voice straining light with a joke, you answered, âI never forgot. I lied when you asked me.â
âYouâ?â The word was a quick huff of air against your neck. He pulled away enough to look at you, but not divorce your stomachs from touching. Two deep creases formed between his brows, shadowing his squint with incredulity. âYou lied to me?â
A pang of doubt weeded its way into your insecure hands around his waist, forcing you to question if he was really mad at you for pretending you didnât remember the exact details of last weekend in order to bolster his confidence into asking you on a date instead of wallowing in silent guilt for thinking he did something wrong and end up pushing you away, sabotaging himself from ever acting on this.
You were about to speak your mindâthat is, until his lips crooked up, and he invaded your space with his big eyes, big nose, and even bigger grin.
âYou lied to me,â he said with a snap of wolfishness, tonguing his sharp canine after the bite of his words; hosting an overabundance of admiration in his half-lidded gaze raking over you, alighting every sinful nerve in your body.
Time to pick up where that phone call left offâ
âYeah, I did.. But you didnât.â You sank your hand between your bodies, and flattened your palm to the front of his jeans.
His breath hitched.
Skimming, teasing, playing with him, you strung his lust taut, tracking your fingertips over the hardness and sweeping them to the very end, circling an outline around his head like a Sirenâs call to his fiery blood. His biceps flexed against your arms. The laminate counter squeaked from his sweaty grip on the edge. Vinyl flooring creaked at his antsy rut into your hand, and you gave in to your own curiosity.
Wrapping your fingers as best you could through the thick denim, a spike of cold excitement washed over you at the sheer girth you struggled to handleâmuch less the long, long drag of your palm from base to tipâsending an ache to your cunt begging to be stretched by him.
Slightly over seven inches, indeed.
Lacking poise, you blurted an unintelligible word, and his smirk underscored his heavy kiss.
âTold you I didnât need to overcompensate,â he taunted.
His newfound smugness was allowed. Encouraged, even, by your firm strokes, again and again, creating a damp patch on his pants at every pass of your thumb. You were fascinated by his ability to engulf you in another tender union of lips when your senses were overwhelmed by the impressive size filling your palm. Intoxicated by the gentle glide of his considerable tongue along your bottom teeth. Dazed by his pitiful groan when you increased your pace, building and building the wicked friction burn from his jeans on your soft skin, tending to the flames of your arousal, sensitive nipples peaked and receptive to the warmth of his lean chest pressing down on you.
Needing him, you closed off the kiss and played into your appeal with a saccharine pinch to your expression, and a cloying sweetness to your tone. âYou do so much for your family,â you murmured. âYou work so hard to provide for them, always staying late at the garage, covered in grease and dirt, fixing cars until your hands are torn and your back aches. Making sacrifices without a second thought. Always putting their needs first.â
Stroking his hard cock, you asked, âWhen was the last time someone put your needs first?â
Eddie screwed his eyes shut and fit the bridge of his nose to your forehead. When he spoke, his embarrassment influenced his mumble, âSâbeen a long, long time.â
âSounds like you need me to take care of you, handsome.â
He tensed to suppress his shiver from your sultry tone, and withheld his whimper at the prospect, meeting your gaze in a nervous flick. âI donât, uhm.. have..â His assured demeanor ebbed to stuttering shyness. âI didnât, uh, buy any condoms, and all the stores are closed by now..â
Your face fell flat.
You threw your exasperated stare to the ceiling, and searched the series of events which would lead to him asking you on a date, at his home, at night, without anyone else present, and somehow not think to buy condoms. âWhy didnât you buy any?â
He shrugged, frustration evident in his tone. âI was afraid of being a dumbass and leaving them out in the open where you could see themâlike with the groceries or some shitâand give you the wrong impression, like my goal was only to invite you over for that reason, and, I donât know, think Iâm coming on too strong, or something, and make you uncomfortable.â
You gripped your beloved dumbass by the chin with your unoccupied hand, and put an end to his fretting. âOr, I would get the right impression, and weâd have that box opened within ten minutes of me walking through the door.â
He blinked dumbly.
Before he could ask if you were serious, you steered the conversation to its original topic with a gentle squeeze where the dark spot on his jeans bloomed, and said, âWeâll worry about condoms next time.â He throbbed in your palm. Next time. âAfter all the romantic stuff youâve done for me, I want to show you my appreciation.â You slid your fingers through his belt loops, and leaned up, nosing your way through his frizzy waves to whisper a fantasy in his ear. âI want you in my mouth.â
You put the power of suggestion in your aggressive tug, snapping your hips together.
Ripples of electric pleasure stood his arm hair on end. The alertness in his expression glazed over. He lazed in the feeling, hardly able to open his eyes to follow the bounce of your eyebrows and the deep cut of your smirk; matching with his own goofy smile going lopsided with enthusiasm.
Since his birth, there were few instances where he felt wanted, or loved, and for his dream girl to waltz into his life and be so brazen about her attraction to him with no hidden motives, empty sweet-talk, or ill intentionsâ
For possibly the first time in Eddieâs ostracized existence, he felt desired.
Each low tug on his jeans was another boost to his self esteem, guiding him step by step further beyond the platonic line. Deeper, and deeper into new territory. Crossing the threshold from cracked vinyl to plush carpet, and with it, entering the fear of the unknown he wasted countless hours resisting. Thereâs no going back after this. Acquaintances was a laughable notion, coworkers was a tricky dynamic left to be dealt with on Monday, and friendship was the foundation of him opening up to you.
Every decision persuading you to the edge of his bed was made in careful consideration. Choices were presented and chosen without impulse. Nothing about him was casual. Not anymore. The slow crawl towards this relationship was impeded by his past, and instead of giving up, you stayed true to him. Because you saw him as worthwhile.
Eddie sank to the couch, and before his back made contact with the cushions, he had his fingers cupped to the backside of your thighs, proposing a bend to your knees. In a fluid motion, he dragged his rough palms up your tights and coaxed your legs on either side of him, running his heavy hands over your skirt and up to your waist. He relaxed into the sitting position with an arm crooked around your ass while he treated himself to a handful, gathering you as close as possible until he was satisfied with the places he could reach. Not once did his eyes leave your face. He tipped his head back to watch you go from standing at the end of his knees, to straddling his lap. Wholly enamored.
Blue cast from the TVâs standby mode contrasted the dim glow from the old lamp on the kitchen counter, highlighting his blushy cheeks in eventide colors, and cleaving a defined shadow down his bobbing throat.
Earned muscle and bulky denim and seven inches of bliss prodded the delicate meat of your inner thighs. You sat high on his lap, releasing the tension in your body in increments, settling yourself on top of him. He kissed you. Short and sweet; a brief encounter compared to before, but with your senses amplified by the deeper connection you two fostered for one another, it was the best kiss of your life. And it served as a chaste prelude to his next devotion.
Taking the lead, Eddie moved on from your lips, working downward in a dreamy, drunken daze, reveling in skin-on-skin. Wantâmoreâplease. When he couldnât access the vulnerable underside of your chin, he urged your head up with a determined bump of his nose to your jaw, and continued to praise you in stray kisses and greedy palms. He showed you what he wanted by dragging you forward in his lap, and you didnât need to be told twice by his white-knuckled grip.
You grinded down on him, and your mouth went slack with a fragmented moan.
âYouâre so pretty when you do that,â he slurred, voice husky and low.
The bulge behind his fly parted your aching cunt. With your legs spread wide, you found your perfect middle and worked the stiff seams against your need. Each rut glided him along you, slipping over the nylon and stretching your pantyhose taut. You beared down harder, obeying the faint throbs of desperation, and turned them into inadequate stirs of pleasure, fleeting at each pass.
The first stitch of nylon broke. Then, another.
His generous kisses went wayward, favoring your jawbone as a means to end, tucking his teeth into the pocket beneath your ear and nipping at your vulnerable pulse. You swallowed under the threat, and dropped your head back, revealing the neglected expanse for him to cherish.
Cascades of euphoria flowed down your neck. Teeth grazed, his tongue tasted, the cold tip of his nose drew sentiments on your throat. For every dull sting of his untamed bite, he apologized with a softer, and softer affection. Lessening in aggression. Soothing your sweltering skin with cooling breaths on the streak of spit he left behind. You shivered despite the sudden break of sweat in the humid entanglement and embraced your urges, squirming against his jeans and circling your hips in measured thrusts, tilting into the motion for your own sake and blanketing your thigh over his achingly hard cock by chance. âChrist, sweetheart.â His muffled moan set your blood on fire. Your fingers went tight on his shoulders, digging into the muscle shifting beneath your nails, wrinkling the fabric of his favorite shirt.
More nylon stitches popped.
Too lost in your own efforts, you hadnât noticed the loss of his possessive hold on your waist until your hard nipples brushed two solid objects.
Yarn fibers tickled overtop the sheer mesh cups of your bra.
Eddie nuzzled at the base of your neck and rested the slope of his broad nose there, moving his lips on your skin when he remembered, but otherwise his attention deviated elsewhere. At his leisure, he thumbed the top button of your sweater through the loop, and drifted to the next. Another, and another, exposing the sheen of perspiration on your chest to the stagnant air in his living room. His deft fingers undressed you with undue ease. Each loosened button raced your heart, and you repaid him by widening your knees and sinking fully onto his lap, laying your plush inner thigh on top of his length in a satisfying squish, and staying there.
A weak whine tinted his pretty, âFeelsâgood.â
Feels good played off the thin walls stacked with ceramic mugs. Feels good joined the sporadic pitter patter of raindrops on the tin roof streaming to the grassless earth outside. Feels good warmed you like the oil filled radiator at the end of the couch, popping and crackling when the heat droned higher. Feels good manifested in your cardigan slipping from your shoulders and falling to the floor in a mute drop; rooted itself in his ringed fingers dipping into your waistband; was proven by his other palm molding to the curve of your hip as if it were shaped by the same artist; and confirmed by the unambiguous focus to your right side.
Feels so fucking good burst forth in his handâs unyielding snatch on your waistband and decisive jerk forward, ripping through the last of the strained seam trapped against your satin underwear.
The pantyhose split at the gusset, and your plump pussy spilled out, perfectly framed by the gaping nylon hole presenting your wet cunt to the thick denim. You draped him sweetly. Curved over the immense rise behind the creased zipper, creating a stiff peak before sloping to the soft give of his stomach. It didnât take more than a single experimental thrust for your thin panties to slide into your sticky need, working them snug to your heat and inciting the first true tug at your core. Whispers of relief roused at your center, but it wasnât until your second try, when you tilted your hips and Eddie guided you down onto him, genuine satisfaction was achieved.
The low rumble from the bottom of his chest filled you with oozy pride.
You concentrated the friction on your clit, and Eddie concentrated on anything else.
He stopped sealing his kisses, letting the envelope of his lips fall open, slack, and inarticulate, never beginning nor ending the ode to your neck. His mouth hovered wherever his head hung, and in his stupor, he could do little more than use his tongue to cut a fat line through the luster beneath the hollow of your throat, letting the salt sit in his mouth before swallowing, grateful. With each movement, the scratchy grain on his jaw from that morningâs shave buffed your sensitive skin, and he lapped at the rawness he caused in apology. The higher you rose over the swell of his cock, the lower he prized you in sloppy drags of his ample lips. He cupped his ringed fingers to the underside of the lavender lace and used his heavenly tongue to lick the top of your breast, accentuating the curve for his teeth to savor you in a lovebite. Your nipples begged for him, and your back arched for him. Your mouth fell open with a gaspââEddieââdrawing out the last set of vowels before they devolved into a whimper. Soon, his head was a heavy burden between your tits, and you wrapped him in your naked arms, cradling him there with your fingers in his hair. Spit from his sloppy kisses smeared on your cleavage, wetting the stubble on his cheeks, and he remained smitten, moaning into them with each bounce on his lap.
He was so wrecked on intimacy.Â
Loading your lungs with another sigh of his name, you rocked your hips in whichever way felt best, not paying attention to the way your inner thigh rolled over Eddieâs fat cock, again, and again. Satin on denim; faster, and faster, tensing your leg muscles and releasing them like a quick stroke down his length. You embraced him with your chin to his hair, panting over the frizz sticking to your lips. Tender, always. Committed to lauding gentle kisses to his scalp even as you chased the one thing on your mind. Grinding in quicker thrusts. Listening to his muffled praise, but not hearing him go quiet, or noticing his body go still when his thighs edged into a hard flex under your ass. You were oblivious to his hand falling from your bra, and his fingers anchoring onto your waist. You were too engrossed in the act, rutting like animals do. Lurching towards the inevitable one desperate grind at a time, quicker.. quicker.. Heeding what your body wanted. Racing, faster.. faster..Â
Abrupt pain bloomed where he shoved his palm into your thigh to stop you.
âYouâre gonna make me cum,â he panted in a ragged breath.
A new heat rushed to your cheeks. The dirty word spoken from his mouth engulfed you. It tingled and danced over your skin, firing signals of excitement in pulses. With clarity, you realized the few direct strokes during what was supposed to be foreplay had him tensing and trembling, trying to keep his release from arriving too early and making a mess of himself before getting to the real deal. Your nipples tightened at the knowledge, and your legs clenched on instinct. You almost made him cum his jeans. What a compliment.
Your puffy clit was sore from the brief friction, and you felt every centimeter of space he put between you and your reward, but it was like a switch flipped in your brain.
The sharp throbs of his fingers clamped onto the meat of your thigh and his thumb jammed into the soft muscle were forgotten when you looked down at the man who shied under your observation; his face aflame with the awareness he ruined your release as well and his, and his bashful eyes worried with remorse. He was the reason you craved the early dawn, and weekday nights. He was the reason your heart crowded your throat when you woke up and your first thought was to reach for the bracelet on your bedside dresser. He was the reason you took a liking to heavy metal and board games. He was the reason your body reacted to wafts of earthy tobacco in the air, only to be disappointed when the person behind you at the grocery store was just another smoker who hand rolled their cigarettes, as if they had the right to smell like Eddie Munson.
You looked down at the man who lived an isolated and thankless life, who found joy in the small things and loved with his whole heart, who had few outlets to express himself and receive love back, and nothing mattered to you more than giving him a reason to look at you differently come Monday morning.
You thumbed the edge of his jaw with a promise. âIâll go slow, pretty boy.â
He made a choked off noise in response.
Eddieâs eyes followed the nuances of your movement as you rose from his lap and planted your feet on the carpet. His stance widened to make room for you, chest falling with a silent exhale; peering at you with a question between his brows, as if he were contemplating his luck. When you bent over and placed your palms on his thighs, you stole his gaze from the intimate way your cleavage shifted under gravity, and honored his lips a last time for the foreseeable future, about to show him how fortunate he really was.
You sank to your knees, dropping dry kisses onto his shirt in a path to his belly as you went, and lifted the hem. The bottom of the inked sword and dragon greeted you. Sparse hair fanned as you raised the shirt above his tattooed navel, and pushed it to the crease where his sternum and belly met. His stomach wasnât as flat as when he stood, giving him a slight curve where it pushed past the edge of his beltâa roundness when he sat relaxed. You laid your elbows on his thighs, and avoided touching the large subject in your peripheral, instead shaping your hands to his hips, and bowing your head.
His muscles jumped under your lips.
Finally, you knew his ticklish spot.
He sucked in a breath, and squirmed at the scattered kisses to his sides. You applied more pressure, mashing your mouth to him with a giggly hum, and teased your wet lips through the thick curls leading downwards. The hairs grazed the sides of your mouth and nose. The warm metal from his belt buckle brushed your chin. Youâd never guessed youâd come to know these sensations when you first met him and he made it clear your enthusiasm for life was not appreciated, but here you were, stroking your thumbs up his leather belt, bordering your grin with his happy trail.
Eddie skimmed his fingers over your wrists. âIâm not gonna last long,â he warned.
âThatâs fine,â you assured him in a quick peck to the significant outline youâd become obsessed with, feeling him twitch beneath your lips. âWe have all night to work on that.â
âWhatâ? Jesus Christ, uhâokay.â
Sitting back on your calves, you held his gaze while you pulled the extra length of his belt through the loops in a smooth rush, and worked it through the handcuff buckle. You tightened the slack and loosened the pin with a nimble finger, undressing him with the ease of an expert.
Asking from a place of your own curiosity, you wondered, âHow often do you jerk off?â
His eyebrows disappeared behind his tousled bangs.
Not yet used to you being so forward with him, he stammered on his tongue, but held his composure, much to the surprise of both of you. âNot that often, I guess.. Uh, a few times a month.â
You snorted. âYou donât have to lie to me, you know that, right? You can tell me if itâs everyday, I donât care. Itâs not like Iâm gonna judge you.â
The two halves of his belt flopped to either side of his waist. With it out of the way, you pinched at the stamped button at the top of his stupidly tight jeans, but you had trouble getting a good grip on it. Here, let meâhe mumbled in a small voice, lifting his hips off the couch to undo it himself, popping it through and revealing the waistband of his forest green boxers.
It was with great determination you aimed your gaze above his obvious grandeur when he started talking.
âIâm not lying,â he said during the sturdy grind of the zipper being tugged down. âNot exactly like I have a door to lock when I need some alone time around here, sweetness. Plusâ âhe grunted at the freedom his unzipped jeans granted him, pushing them lower on his hipsâ âIâm usually too worn out after work, and just wanna crash on the couch. Not to mention taking care of everything around here is exhausting. Just donât have the energy most days.â
Reading the precious draw of sympathy between your brows, he sat on the edge of his bed, and reached into the fly at the front of his boxers. âBut, uh, there has been a recent change in my life thatâs motivated me to.. take better care of myself. More often.â A certain motivator who sat between his legs with her hands in her lap, piqued and obedient. âLot more often than a couple months ago, before she started working with me.â
He wrapped his fingers around himself and stroked upward, moving his knuckles against the fabric. Heâd been rambling to ease the anxiety from his nerves until only the adrenaline remained, and with his pretty girl biting her bottom lip at his impure thoughts, his stalling came to an end.
Out came his handâbroad palm and thick fingers stretched fullâand you stared in silent awe.
The back of his pale wrist and rosy knuckles were the first to show. Prominent blue veins led to his crooked hand, thumb and foremost fingers grasping his base while the last two struggled to collect the rest. His wet tip grazed the top of his boxers, peaking the fabric and dragging it along in a mouthwatering sweep towards the opening, and out it bobbed in flushed hues of pink and needy red. Below, he used his other hand to lower the fly, and cupped his palm to his heavy hanging fruits. They slipped out one plump roundness at a time to display their greatness against his dark jeans in a weighty sway.
Eddieâs cock leaked a bead of anticipation for you.
Starting with a lazy tug, he stroked himself. The arousing sheen smeared around his tip glistened, shining anew with the pass of his fist. As predicted, he curved to the right, and the fact he could hardly overlap his thumb to get a good hold on himself spoke of his size. All of him was beautiful, and you felt beautiful when another drip of precum swelled from his pretty head, threatening to fall before your very eyes.
He was thrilled by your shock. âWant it?â
âNeed it,â you responded in a faint exhale.
With a smirk deepening his smoky tone, he kept moving his hand up and down, and granted you permission, âItâs all yours.â
You snapped your attention to his face, and inched forward until you were snug against the couch, eager and motivated by the lustful stretch in your thighs exposing your soaked cunt to the air. Good and pleasing, you clasped your hands politely in the folds of your bunched up skirt, and framed your arms around your chest.
Dipping your head, you lolled out your tongue for his approval.
His expression was the highest compliment; revering you with crinkles at the corners of his heavy-lidded gaze, lips stretched into a genuine smile which emphasized the elusive dimple on his cheek, and defined the bags under his eyes. Strands of his finger-swept messy curls stuck out at odd angles after you had your way with his hair, grazing his high cheekbones, and thick neck.
His heart pounded louder in his chest the longer he stared at your offering.
Weight pressed down on the plush middle of your tongue. It left, then happened again, again. Again, he tapped the fat head of his cock to the sticky wetness, mixing his salty taste with your spit. Bestowing you the gift, and taking it away. Teasing you. He slapped his heaviness down in a dull throb of owning you, and lifted it off to run his fingers over his own length, jerking himself off at an easy pace he wouldnât cum from before putting his weeping tip to your tongue once more for you to admire, but not indulge. It was the cruelest, and hottest, thing heâd ever done to you.
When he next rubbed his head along the supple muscle and took it away, you tempted him into giving you mercy.
His lungs stuttered at your first demure kiss to the underside of his cock. You listened to his shallow breath on the second, released in a short ahh on the third. On the fourth, you vied for privilege to spoil him. He relented. How could he not?
To give himself a better angle to watch, he propped one of his hands behind him, and dropped his cheek to his shoulder, where his hair poured in a mass of tangles. The broad grin he wore waned to a subtler emotion as you hummed for the silky skin thrumming against your lips, feeling him shift when he lifted his thumb from taming his hard-on down.
Eddie marveled at how you balanced his cock on your pout. Amusementâand an unending amount of tendernessâgentled his features. He was sweet on you. You were sweet on him.
Treating him how he deserved, you rolled your tongue around your mouth to gather spit, and pushed it past your lips to wet his slick head, making your kisses slip against him in a smooth glide. You showered him in small pecks at first. Short kisses with the cutesy sounds pressed to the sensitive ridges which earned Eddieâs involuntary moan; low and thick, drawing from the months of pining for this moment. Venturing into more, you darted your tongue out to test his reaction when you licked the valley between the halves of his plump tip, and you winced. His cock kicked up, and fell in a smack. It was painful, probably bruising the delicate inner flesh of your lips when it smashed them against your teeth. You thanked him in an acquiescent whine.
It was addictiveâa daze. With nothing but gravity to keep him in place, you cherished your favorite mechanicâs cock openly and honestly. You flattened your tongue to him in a loving lap, and chased it with a long drag of your lips up the underside to the round head, struggling to keep your eyes open from the bliss of tasting his reward, and suckling noisily for more.
Eddie accepted defeat in a sudden, disappointed grunt, âYeah.. Iâm not gonna last long.â
He fell backwards in a dramatic flourish.
Sprawled almost flat, his shoulders hit the cushions, and his body melted into the position with his fingers laced over his eyes as a shield. A groan of despair reverberated in his throat. Poor Eddie, canât last long with his favorite receptionistâs mouth around his cock. A giggle bubbled from your chest, and you were about to repeat your promise to go slow, but the words wouldnât form.
Your mouth had other plans than wasting their time on reassurances.
In his melodramatic moping, his dick left your lips and flopped onto his bellyâwhich was a loss you felt in your soulâbut with how he slouched into the cushions, a fruitful endeavor presented itself. Swung, and bounced, actually.
You leaned in, and became acquainted with your hand around his girth; familiarizing yourself with the naked warmth in your palm, and his airy whimper when you did.
The top of his boxers brushed your knuckles as you drifted your hand up in a single stroke. One fluid glide on the cock which belonged to you. He did say it was yours, after all. And though the thought alone had you wishing it was stretching your tight cunt in a blend of pain and pleasure, you had a yearning for what else moved up and down when you pumped your fist.
âEddie?â you called. He peered at you from the shadow of his fingers. Innocently, you traced the bottom of his sack, and oh so carefully settled them into the nest of your unblemished palm. âAre these mine too?â
A croak broke his speechlessness. âY-Yeah, those are yours, too. If you want them.â
Please was written in your grateful lurch towards his cock. Thank you was expressed in your lush moan when he entered your mouth.
âBaby,â he whined in a docile sigh.
You sank his cock into the wet heat he needed, but only for the purpose of curving your tongue to his begging tip and bathing him in your spit, using your hand to work it down his shaft. Except, you got carried away. A few strokes in, and you put your lips tight around his head, and already there was a warning forming between his brows.
You backed off. His face went lax in relief.
âFeels too good, sweetheart,â he praised from the depths of his gravelly voice. âGonna make me cum like that.â
Your pussy ached to be spoken to that way.
Moving your attention away from how pitifully empty you felt, you loosened your grip and twisted your wrist to massage the base of his slick cock; not exploring upwards, just giving him enough friction to keep him on edge without spilling over. A perfect amount of pleasure, you guessed, from his red face emerging from behind his hands, raising them to comb his bangs off the fine layer of sweat beading on his forehead, and blinking himself out of his haze just in time to see you lower your face between his thighs.
You tended to him first with a kiss. An opening, or introduction, to your lips finding the spot beneath your working thumb where the hardness ended and the velvety skin began. He tensed. His legs flexed around your shoulders, bringing his knees in all shy like, like he was self conscious to have you down there. And maybe it was one thing to have his balls cupped in your palm, but it was another to have you nosing around the opening of his boxers when he hadnât gone through with his plan of trimming back the hedges.
All he could do was stare when you inhaled his scent after he spent the day cleaning his home, running errands, driving across town to pick you up, and sitting next to you during scene after scene of horrors playing on a screen directly across from the terrifying event of holding your hand while trying not to out-sweat his t-shirt.
His bewilderment was apparent, but so was your enjoyment.
You burrowed your nose at the narrow opening of his fly, and tilted his cock to the side, finding the thick thatch of curls growing around his base, and admiring his heavy musk breaking through the perfumed Dove soap. A heavy purr of pleasure rumbled in your throat, coming out as a nasally moan against the wrinkled skin you kissed. So enraptured by his body, you couldnât hold back anymore. You had to part your lips, and run your tongue along the seam of his sack. It was with a dire urge you stopped at the bottom, and flaunted how big he was by snuggling your nose to the heft and lifting.
You draped his balls over your mouth.
It was silly to him, and you didnât mind the tss of laughter, but to you, earning his baffled smile while your giggle was buried under his sack was vital to your design. Their ripe heat enveloped you. The stripe you licked was wet on the tip of your nose. His natural scent swaddled you. Both corners of your lips were encumbered by the wonderful weight hanging on either side, brushing your cheeks as you swallowed the taste of his tangy sweat. You kissed up into the excess skin stretched over your face, and they rolled to your chin when you changed the angle you were teasing his cock, disciplining him towards his stomach so you had more room to worship the pome.
Warming him to the idea, you flattened your tongue to one side and ran it along the fullness, curving up, and dragging down in a long caress. In a breath, he placed his hand on his stomach where his shirt gathered, and skimmed the other over his body until it laid on top of his jeans, in the crease between his hip and thigh. You could see his fingers work themselves into the loose denim out of the corner of your eye, and heard them relax when you traced the other side of his sack, ending with a murmur to the textured skin.
âToo much?â you askedâhe shook his head before you could finish the question, still hanging onto a suggestion of his fascinated squint at what you were doing to him.
With his approval, you indulged.
The gentle licks evolved to sloppy circles, eager to prize and polish, ensuring there was no part of his balls gone neglected. Lapping at, kissing at, making out with another spot on his body out of a necessity to fawn over every inch of him. Willing to nuzzle your way between the plumpness and have your drool drag wetly across your cheeks in his name. Fully content with messier and messier affections, cozying your nose to the base of his curls until he understood how little it bothered you to be smothered by his nature.
Unable to resist satisfying him how he deserved, you dropped an open kiss to the squish of his sack, and suckled on a small section, checking his reaction.
Not an ounce of protest glimmered behind his lashes, eyes falling almost closed at the intimate gesture between two people who were never supposed to be more than coworkers.
You parted your lips, and accepted a mouthful.Â
Eddie whimpered.
His toes curled into the carpet at the novel sensation. There was an incredible amount of trust required to fight the instinct to pull away. Even his fingers strained the denim when you drew your lips around one of his balls, and slackened your jaw. It was with great respect you brought him into your mouth, and cradled the weight on your tongue, cheeks stretched full and soft. You held him there for a long second. The rain was a steady noise of the roof, but your exhale was loud in the space between his thighs. Quiet suspense followed your hand climbing his shaft.
You wrapped your fingers around his hopeful tip, and fitted your thumb to the valley on the underside. In perfect sync, and with your eyes steady on his face, you hollowed your cheeks and squeezed each of your fingers at the same gentle pace.
âFuck, babyââ
At once, Eddieâs unabashed groan inspired you, and his balls jerked in response to the direct touch in the places he needed it. From pinky to index, you massaged his fat head in a smooth pulseâmatching the strokes of your thumbâand though your grip was light, he was already kneading his hand along his inner thigh and clamping it down close to your face. You soothed him on your tongue as best you could, and eased him into having more pressure from your lips, sucking harder on the most sensitive part of him.
Concentration stressed a shadow between his brows; chest braced on a held breath.
The telltale sign of his skin tightening in your mouth, along with his clenched stomach and abnormal silence, had you testing his limits. But it was too fun feeling his legs squirm at the effortless flow your fingers performed, coaxing him closer to coming undone and still daring to smear the swells of precum over the pleading edge of his tip, again and again, but slower. Slower. Memorizing the metallic slink of his guitar pick running along the ball chain necklace when you released him, and his chest sank with a sigh.
His voice cracked a notch higher, âJesus, youâre really into this, huh, sweetheart?â he asked, but you couldnât answer.
Before committing to his other ball, you spat into your cupped fingers, and put them to his cock, adjusting how you held him until you could look past and see the handsome glint of respect in his eyes, and he could gaze into wealth of adoration in yours.
âLove being on my knees for you,â you mumbled sweetly, kissing your way to the other side of his sack. âLove your cock, Eddie.â
His name, spoken where it was on his body, brought out a smugger twist to his already prideful grin. âYeah? You like it?â
Rushing at the chance to compliment your man, you straightened your spine, and punctuated your words along the thick vein leading up to the drips of seed. âLove it,â you promised in a syrupy yearn, swallowing the bitter salt. âLove your cock; love it so much. Itâs my favorite.â
âIs it the best?â
The question was tonally rich with confidence, but just in case there was any doubt woven into the wording itself, you regarded the man who went to work early on a day he had off for the purpose of leaving flowers on your desk, and smiled.
âYeah,â you confessed, recalling a memory from the earlier months, after your first failed date, when he shared his can of Coke with you at lunch because the vending machine was out, and two sets of chapsticked lip prints were left around the metal rim. âItâs the best.â
You hugged his cock to your cheek, and nuzzled the warmth as you would any other part of him, humming a sunshiny hum, and parted ways to return to your true calling further down.
This time, Eddie groaned in relief when you settled his other ball in your mouthââThatâs it.â
With your newly slick hand, you slipped your palm over his desperately purple tip with ease. His thighs jumped into a flex, and his stomach fluttered with tensionâalmost like he was going to lose himself right thereâbut he exhaled hard through his nose, and became better at existing in the mutual pleasure. This was as much for you as it was for him.
There was a scrunch of determination above his nose, and a strong edge to his jaw, but otherwise, his fingers were gentle on your temple.Â
âYou always know how to make me feel good,â he said, tracing his knuckles downward, lacing multitudes of meanings behind the sentence. Physical, and emotional.
He prodded his thumb into the hollow of your cheek, feeling how full you were of him; how his calloused fingerpad rocked in the same rhythm of your lips sealing around him and sucking; and you leaned into the tender gesture of his open palm, to which he cupped your jaw with a sentiment tantamount to what you were baring.
A sweet man through and through, even as he trembled in your fist.
You curved your tongue around the tight skin in your mouth, and moaned prettily for him. Frequent moans, ardent moans, moans appealing to his ego, moans youâd hear on a tape rented from the backroom of a competing video store with a black curtain separating it from the wholesome movies up front. Performing for him, finding what he liked. Which lick, which whine, which speed had his cock leaking over your fingers. Which trick made the creases between his brows mature, and his mouth fall open: the answer was two fast pumps over his throbbing head, and back down to his base for a respite, prolonging his release with a thank you on his heavy eyelids.
Prolonging, at least, until two fast pumps became a naughty blur of moreâOh, fuck, babyâand his brushes along your cheek went rare, and he licked his dry lips in the fog of his ramping high, and he hung his head back to the dense cushions, and his question escaped his throat in a hoarse huff, âYou wannaâ?â and it wasnât a question at all.
You pushed your lips in soft goodbye to his sack, and his fingers under your jaw communicated his wish, aiding your chin up with a light pressure until your mouth was tasting the result of his aching lust. Slow and steady, you lavished his head in tame licks, building into a long sweep over the top. Warming yourself up to the painful stretch your lips were about to endure while his kind fingertips coasted over your hair, and found themselves at the back of your neck. Drawing out the seconds he tucked his thumb behind your ear, and rubbed circles. Sitting in the moment of something delicate, before things changed, and the platonic line became a horizon.
You drove his tip past your lips, and channeled all your appreciation into sucking Eddieâs cock.
He whimpered in surprise. A different whimper than before; not a drowsy noise he may make when rolling over in bed, but a sputtered note expelled in bursts of heavy breaths, singing a hymn to your blood.
The pace was not shy.
You descended to meet your fingers wrapped around his shaft, and reached your temporary depth where his hardness caressed the back of your mouth, and your throat clenched. Pulling back, you focused on his head, wetting his length with the sudden drool, and busying your other hand with his balls, cupping and stroking them in gentle passes.
âRiâRight there, yeah, God, right there, sweet girl.â The syllables were mashed and dropped and disconnected on his whine.
Flicking your gaze up, you thrived on his fixated stare, bobbing your head on his tip only. Sliding your lips back and forth over the luscious ridge which had his tongue pressed against his bottom teeth. Massaging your wet heat around the center of his pleasure; encouraging a pinch in his expression as if he were in pain when he was in anything but.
Being higher on your knees meant your tits could be seen, and what a delicious sight it was for him to covet. Braced by your bra, your cleavage bounced as you pumped your fist along his cock, grazing your nipples above the opaque floral applique, cresting them beyond the sheer lace. It was enough to make his stomach squeeze, and his fingers tremble in the baby hairs at your nape.
His cock twitched twice in your mouth, conveying a message.
You welcomed him to the back of your throat, gladly this time, accepting the overfulness making it hard to breathe and the soreness surely to come, using your hand for the rest you could not take. No amount of uncomfortableness would make you shy from showing him the recognition he earned. For years he didnât see the value in himself, and knowing the person who saved a Laffy Taffy wrapper to tell you the joke on the back didnât prioritize his own happiness compelled you to take him deeper, faster. You shaped your tongue to the outline of his cock, and chased your lips with your fist, hollowing your cheeks at the top, teetering him on the cusp, rousing him until your skin buzzed from the friction and his hips pitched. Bringing him so close to the edge that when you broke away to catch your breath, his muscles shivered, and the shadows between his brows lessened as they arched higher from the mounting pleasure, where every touch on his body felt better and better and better than the last.
In the brief seconds you wrapped both your hands around his length, he made a pleading noise with the added weight of his warm palm at the back of your headâan urgency in his disheveled state, but not without the option of choice.
At once, he was at home in your throat.
In a union, your fingers wrenched his waistband into your damp palm, and he laid his hand across your knuckles. The control was yours, but the pace was his. He fucked himself into your pliant mouth in short, quick thrusts; ever attentive to keep his thumb strokes on your cheek unquestionably loving.
âGonna make meââ He found the angle to cant his hips so you could watch him unravel; eyes falling closed and face tipped to the ceiling. ââMake me cum, baby,â he finished, voice light as air.
Throat flushed bright pink, cheeks dark red. Eddie panted into a shaky moan of true relief, and your core craved to be the one to take care of his needs, but there was something special about proving your attraction to him in every way you could.
The ridges of his greedy tip found where they were best brushed, and his hips lost their tempo. His stomach sank and stuttered in pulses. A dear emotion clutched your chest, letting loose when he crashed into his climax.
His knees closed you in, crowding you to his lap. âIâm gonnaââ he gasped, rough and breathless; presented as a warning for the shot of bitter taste at the back of your throat, filling your mouth and spilling over your tongue with each throb of the thick vein pumping over your swollen bottom lip.
Something undeniable feathered the vulnerability of the position.
You swallowed.
And when more remained after it slid down your throat, you steadied his twitching cock over the offering of your tongue and jerked him off, stealing more drips to satiate you, swallowing with your lips pressed in a kiss to his overstimulated tip. âBaby,â he begged with his head thrown back, legs shifting restlessly around you. He sucked in breaths. Squirmed. Bit his tongue. Tugs of laughter played at his screwed up mouth, so desperate to resist giving in to a true grin when you rode out his high until he was beginning to soften, and the euphoria wore off to a dozy tingles, and the tingles dissipated into you giving him mercy, and mercy gave way to the aftermath.
In all the awkwardness of reality, you unceremoniously wiped your hands on his jeans, and right as he properly tucked himself back into his boxers, he beckoned you with open arms, gripping at your hips and bringing you onto the couch in a clumsy tumble; straddling his lap with his eager kisses seeking your jaw, your neck, your mouth which worked so hard for him. âFucking amazing, baby,â he mumbled at the corner of your lips. You didnât need the wordsâyouâd heard them all beforeâbut the reassurance of his arms locked tight around your middle, and the golden rays of honey shining so bright in his eyes allayed the tiny ball of worry at the pit of your stomach telling you heâd next follow it up with an excuse to send you home, as did every man before him.
ââMazing, âmazing, âmazing,â he mushed together on his way to your slack lips, bringing you out of your thoughts and into a kiss. âAnd dare I say, âamazing?ââ
His ability to make you giggle when your bare stomachs were pressed together was the sort of tenderness you sought, and he provided.
You rubbed the tip of your nose along his, so very aware of his broad grin, and sweet nature. âYouâre silly.â
âThat I am!â he stated proudly.
Dipping to complete your gentle smile with his, you sank into the acceptance of him wanting to take your bottom lip between his, and flatter himself with the knowledge of where itâs been, what parts of him it became intimate with, instead of avoiding what was only human. He noticed your cold skin beneath his hands, and ran them along your back and upper arms. There was a motive behind his fingers slipping under the hem of your skirt, and palming you forwardâwhere your heartbeats hammered together, and heat stirred in the lack of layers separating youâbut still, there was one more affection you thought he deserved before the night moved on to your own.
Shivers chased his thumb braving the roundness of your breast, edging closer to the sensation of due pleasure yearning to be released. He spoke straight to your needs by putting the suggestion in your hips, âItâs your turn now.â
You stopped yourself from toppling to the cushions, and upheld your decent balance through your grip on his shoulders. âWait,â you complained without malice, forgiving him for not reading your mind, âIâm not through with you yet.â
The word choice sparked intrigue across his face, then it cautioned to curiosity at the ominous roll of thunder rumbling through the trailer, clanking the mugs on the wall behind him.
He turned his head to the side, eyeing you. âWhat does that mean?â
~~~
âGod, that feels so good.â
âYeah, right there.. A little to the leftâOh fuck, right there.â
âSo fucking good, sweetheart, keep going.â
Perturbed, you asked him, âDo you ever shut up?â and kneaded your knuckles harder into the knot of muscle between his shoulder blades, earning a louder groan than when you had his dick in your mouth.
One of the horror movies played on the TV, volume turned high for the alienâs gargled dialogue to be heard over the storm. Eddieâs lanky body was limp with sleepiness, melting under the smooth strokes of your palms starting at the base of his neck and gliding downward over his shirt, dragging another grunt out of him when his voice was hoarse from shameless use, not tempering it for a late night where heâd employ his range outside of singing for Corroded Coffin. He mumbled another praise, but his face was smashed to his pillow, rendering what he said unintelligible. His strong back rose with a shallow breath, and you moved with it. The couch was crowded, but you insisted he get comfortable, even if you had to straddle the curve of his ass with one knee fallen to the alarm of crayons and crumbs stuck between the cushions, and your other leg hung off the edge. This worked for him, though. It gave his hand a place to hold you, fingers clasped to your calf and thumb tending to you in little sweeps of truth. I need to touch you. The room was smothered in darkness, save for the brighter scenes highlighting the glossy line of his eye fighting a losing battle one massage of your thumbs into the pockets of soreness at a time.
You worked at the tense muscles with his comforter draped around your shoulders. It slipped down to greet the chafing air, rushing goosebumps over your skin. After the fourth time adjusting it, you left it gathered at your waist. Making sure Eddie was taken care of was more important. And the college girl turning into goo occupied what was left of your attention.
Though, soon, your tendons ached from effort, and staying-up-late stole the water you yawned from your eyes, and the comfort of being with someone who appreciated you wore heavy on your bones.
You grabbed the blanket, and leaned forward.
Brushing back the mess of curls covering the side of his face, you combed through the strands of hair stuck to his stubble, and found his chubby cheek smushed to his shoulder. You kissed him. âI adore you.â
He put a weak squeeze in his palm behind your knee, and spoke through the grog, âI adore you too, baby.â
Adore. Using the endearment in place of another word, and still, the weight was understood by the both of you.
Housed in the cozy heat of his body, sheltered from the rain lashing the windows in sheets, and the howling wind whistling past the corrugated metal roof in gusts, you sighed. Thunder vibrated from the floor, to the couch, to him, to you.
âYouâre too sweet to me,â he said, sounding more awake.
âIâm exactly as sweet as you deserve.â
Instead of using his words to express he wanted to turn over, he just started rolling beneath you, forcing you to rip yourself from his divine warmth, and settle upright on his lap.
You were reminded of the reason you were cold when his eyes trailed over your naked skin, not afraid to show their appetite for your chest. The hunger in his hands returned, scaling the plush expanse of your thighs, and feasting his thumbs higher on the sensitive inner haven heâd yet to pay tribute to.
A smirk cut across his mouth. With a slow breath, he rocked his hips, grinding his half-hard cock against your neglected need, now attuned with the perfect tilt to achieve that pretty noise from your mouth which riled him like nothing else.
Oh, he was very awake.
Eddie exhaled with a pitying sound with attentive eyebrows, almost like he was mocking your moan. âYou look so good up there, sweetheart,â he admired through his teasing. âCould get used to it..â
âYeah?â you questioned. Reaching between your joined bodies, you held no qualms about circling your fingers over his cock, and honoring just under his head, ending your stroke just before he could reap the benefit.
He tipped his head back to gain his wits, finding his answer in the darkness behind his eyelids. âBut you keep forgetting this night was about you, and thanking you for everything youâve done for me. And then you go and add that on top of it.â Private fantasies took hold of him, influencing his heavy moan and thumbs climbing higher, higher. âGotta thank you for so many things, sweetheart. So many.. However many you want,â he said, alluding to his way of showing gratitude. Fresh lust rushed to your soaked heat hugging his length. âGotta get you out of these, though.â He scratched a nail over your pantyhose.
You snorted, accidentally ushering humor into what was a sexy exchange. âWhy bother? You already ripped them.â
âI what?â Plain confusion marked his face.
Treating it like an ordinary thing, you bunched your skirt up to your waist, and drew his gaze to your mismatched black panties. You gandered at them as well, second guessing if you shouldâve taken the extra time to find the lavender pair somewhere at the bottom of your drawer.
âYeah,â he groaned; as his chest fell, his cock swelled. âIâm gonna show you just how thankful I am, again, and again, and again,â he trailed off, each word fluttering the heartbeat at your coreâ
Lightning struck, and the phone rang.
Jolting, Eddie stared at it from a long moment, breath held as if that alone would will it into submission from ringing a second time. Spikes of prickly anxiety stabbed at your chest, frightened out of the moment worse than any jumpscare.
It rang a second time.
He took the initiative and sat up, consoling you with his hand on your back and a kiss on your cheek. âIâm sure itâs nothing, just stay put and make yourself comfortable, sweet girl. Iâll be right back.â
Use your pet names all he wanted, his voice didnât instill confidence when it went flat and wavered.
He got up from the couch and you were left feeling exposed, nestling into the blanket as the rain picked up, and the buzzy feeling he left imprinted on your skin faded.
âHello?â he answered, rubbing his stomach above the open fly of his jeans.
As he listened to the manâs voice on the other end, he dropped his hand, and his shoulders sagged at the information.
Turning away, he huddled the receiver to his ear, and asked, âIs she okay?â
His question didnât have the direness a parent should have if someone were hurt, so you stood up and padded softly to the kitchen, straining your ears, listening intently and discerning a few sniffles. But one little girlâs cry rang above them all. A shrill call for her Daddy to save her from her greatest fear.
Thunder rocked the trailer.
âYeah.. Yeah, Iâll come get her.â
The phone clicked into its holder on the wall, and like that, the illusion was shattered. It was no longer just you and him spending a night together, carefree. Responsibility took precedence, and when Eddie faced you, his mood was tainted by all the things he explained about being exhausted from just existing his thankless life, judged by all.
He stared into your optimistic gaze knowing this is when youâd get a dose of his reality as a single father.
Fatigue and dread haunted his expression: this date is over.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#THE FIC REC#THE FAVORITE#favorite#fic rec#TYP#i will never sexually recover from this chapter#somehow also made my yearning uncontrollable#i started properly annotating my favorite parts but the truth is the entire thing is my favorite part#the annotations got so long#got mad cheesy there for a second too#eddie munson smut#forgot the smut tag my bad#anyways iâm not touching grass iâm ball worshiping
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The Blu-Ray Project: American Pie
Because weâve unsubscribed to most streaming services this year, my wife and I are watching every disc on our shelves in alphabetical order. Itâs a journey.
Okay, for some context about my particular experience of this movie, I feel itâs helpful for people to know I was raised very conservatively Catholic (Iâm obviously far from that now). I grew up on a diet of old movies and PBS, and even though I was a teen in the 2000s, Iâve never seen any part of this series (or really even watched any of this style of movie). I was pretty nervous about it because I donât tend to find raunchy movies that fun, but honestly, it was overall tamer than I expected. I mostly felt a lot of secondhand embarrassment at all of the awkward interactions and a vague sense of surprise at how slowly the plot progressed. The pie scene was even more painful than Iâd expected, the webcam scene was just upsetting, and Alyson Hanniganâs repeated delivery of âthis one time? At band camp?â was perfect. I didnât realize Eugene Levy was in it and he couldnât have been more perfectly cast as he gave his repeated sex talks to his horny son. Seeing the movie as a full adult also adds to the feeling of not being able to relate at all to the sex-obsessed teen hijinks, not that I would have related as a teen either. But now Iâve seen another piece of (weird) American culture I missed, so thatâs something, I guess?
@dr-brittbritt owns a four disc set of this series, so the next three movie nights are going to continue the theme. I really canât wait until we reach the B section.
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