#always research first

[tirsynni]

I was just reminded of something and thought I should share, although I feel like I’m inviting wrath by doing so:

Always remember that when it comes to mental health, there’s no singular answer to anything. Also remember that, when it comes to mental health, you’re not looking for something which is going to SOLVE your mental health: you’re looking for tools which can help you deal with it. As such, those tools tend to be highly individualized, because mental health is, by nature, highly individualized.

Medication is helpful because it can have a direct impact on neurological/chemical/etc. issues. For some people, it’s a literal life saver. However, for some people, it can be tricky to use or obtain. In many instances, it can help only partially, especially if you are limited regarding what medication you can take and use and access. 

When it comes to mental health, just think of everything as tools in your toolbox. Everyone’s toolbox will look different. I remember a while ago on tumblr (and honestly, it might still be a thing, but I’ve worked hard to avoid unnecessary online stressors) that there was a furious backlash regarding people suggesting things like exercise and meditation to help with mental health issues. Part of the reason for the backlash was idiots pushing these things as a cure, like that fucking meme showing a picture of a forest as medication. There have been so many studies on how being in nature can greatly assist physical and mental health. In some cases, if the mental health issue isn’t because your brain hates you but because your life circumstances suck, changes in lifestyle and being out in nature and such can dramatically help. However, not only is it not an option for people, it is an insane simplification of an issue and ignores the diversity of neurological issues.

(For some people, they reacted so angrily about it because they wanted to minimize their participation in their own mental and physical health. Claiming that medication and medication alone was the answer is a great way to avoid actively addressing the issue. It’s a type of protective helplessness: if the problem can’t be solved or can only be solved in one singular fashion, then they are free from the responsibility of changing their actions/lifestyle/etc. You also see this in people who complain about their phones being monitored but want to keep Facebook/Instagram/Tiktok/etc. apps on their phone because it’s easier. If it’s just how it is, then they are free from personal responsibility regarding the problem.)

Medication for some people can actually solve a problem, depending on what that caused that problem. For many other people, it can be a tool. Exercise for many people, especially individuals with ADHD, can be an excellent tool. Meditation? Diet changes? Yoga? All excellent tools. When someone recommends something like exercise, don’t snap at them immediately. Find out their thought process. If they’re recommending it as a tool, cool! Maybe they’ll have more insight! If they recommend it as a cure? Try to be brave and not smack them. (Unless they have a Nazi tattoo. Then knock them the fuck out.)

As these are tools, though, they can only be helpful if you can use them. For some people with ADHD, running is fantastic. ADHD brains love it! If you have a physical impairment, though, it’s a useless tool and needs to be discarded. Find individualized tools which work for you. Find good resources which offer objective suggestions for tools. My doc recommended the book ADHD 2.0 for me and it was amazing for offering different tools and why they were helpful. Make sure the person isn’t pushing for something, though, and that the person actually knows what they’re talking about and isn’t some variant of a Titktok influencer. 

Does being surrounded by plants help you relax? Great! They’re a good tool! Knowing you need a certain amount of alone time to recharge? Excellent. Add it to the list. Exercise helps but you can only do limited kinds? Figure out what kinds. Gardening? Writing? Whatever. Know what tools work for you.

Also, know what tools, no matter how popular they are or how well they work for others, don’t work for you. Having a healthy diet is awesome! But it’s far too easy for people to make it into a noose. It should be about giving your body (and mind and mood and whatever) what it needs, not as a form of punishment or self-harm. If having a healthy diet helps but you have a history of eating disorders? Then in the end, it’s more harmful than helpful. My body hates medication, so people love suggesting things when I can’t even take Nyquil. There are also times when something is a helpful tool but you have to be careful about abusing it. You need alone time for your mental health? So do I! Having too much alone time opens you up to depression, anxiety, etc.? You need to monitor it.

If possible, try to figure out how much of your mental health problems are based on external factors. Right now, many people are struggling with depression and anxiety, among other things, due to external factors. In some cases, you might be able to address it. For example, is the problem caused by a toxic person you can cut out of your life? Good time to explore how to do so. Is it an economic issue? Might not be as easy of a fix, but at least recognizing the source is helpful. There might be solutions or helpful paths but they’re more long-term than short-term. Recognizing that something is a long-term problem and won’t be solved immediately is a helpful mental health tool: it lets you remind yourself that yes, it’s going to hurt you today and tomorrow and next week and such, but you know that and you know to prepare for it and you won’t be as badly hurt tomorrow when the problem is still there tomorrow when you really hoped that you would wake up in the morning and it would be gone. It lets you build resilience, which is one of the most important mental health tools of all.

Personalize your toolbox. What works for you might not work for others and vice versa. Keep your toolbox up-to-date, as a tool that previously worked might not help now. Be wary of when a tool becomes more harmful than helpful. It is also helpful to make sure you have back-up tools and a good understanding of your resources, just in case. Always remember that just because something is trendy, popular, etc. doesn’t mean it’s helpful. For example, the sheer amount of people who damaged their internal organs, endangered their lives, and endangered the lives of their loved ones because they were anti-vaccine but pro-horse medication.

[endusviolence]

Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

[demonslayedher]

I finished posting the unabashedly educational Sword Fic.

It includes a detailed (but hopefully beginner-friendly) explanation of all the steps of making a Nichirin blade from a sunny mountain like Mt. Youkou, a touch of swordsmith and metalworker folk lore (including demons), meta about what must make Kimetsu no Yaiba's swordsmithing methods different from real life methods, some character exploration for Haganezuka and his polishing method, vocabulary and additional resources in the chapter notes, and hopefully, an endearing, silly POV character to learn this all through.

[b0nelessdoodles]

espresso needing to weigh the moral pros and cons of the research he wants to conduct and shadow milk is just floating there like DO IT

(he's gonna do it 'cause that stupid blonde jock likes him a whole lot for reasons he cannot understand)

[i-bring-crack]

A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes their downfall !?!?!?

Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution

[mysticsublimeperson]

I want to express my frustration because... im trying to write some time travel Merthur fanfic as one does...

and I keep hitting my head against the same wall. Because just in case you didn't know England SUCKED before imperialism and colonialism.

Not that that made it better but, the English isles didn't have a variety of fruits or vegetables, the did have meat and fish and salt I think, but no sugar or way of producing it but honey if I remember correctly.

And admittedly climate change is a pain in the ass, but in medieval times the winters probably consisted in huge blizzards and freezing for 4 months.

They didn't even had tea!!!

All the good stuff its because of colonialism which is horrible for the world but whatever.

Im trying so hard to ignore this facts... to be free and write about silly angsty boys but I needed someone to know how difficult it is.

Because Merlin having lived in a 21 century would have spent since the 16th drinking bloody tea, and now he is back in time and doesn't have tea, doesn't even have sugar, it's a pain in the ass to get milk, and he can't even get his favorites foods because the fruits and vegetables aren't even evolved yet.

BECAUSE YES! All of the greens have suffered a tremendous amount of change because of selective farming!! so even if there were apples back there, they probably wasn't the same apple, probably weren't even half as sweet as they are now a days!

Same with animals, and plants. Many of the species have gone extinct but they existed back then. And im dying for a chance to bring this into the fic, to prove just how difficult the transition it's, but a the same time, it doesn't matter right? not really.

bUT I NEEDED TO VENT A LITTLE SO thank you for listening to my rant.

Also im not even a history girly, im an art babe, so all of this I know by logic and assumptions from my art history clases, and my hyper fixation, so obviously take everything with a grain of salt.

((It's just that I was cooking and I was trying to think which ingredients were available at that time to make the most simple dish but no, there was almost none, no spices, no tomato, I think the had cabbage, and like broccoli because its the same plant, but probably wasn't evolved into all of the different versions we know, they had beans, and lentils I think, the potatoes come from South America, so no potatoes, the had bread but what kind of bread??? sO YEAH, this is my head.. all the time))

[jacksprostate]

Treatise on why No, the doctor just giving the narrator of Fight Club (full name) his requested sleep medication or sending him to therapy would not have Fixed Him

Firstly, saying giving him the insomnia meds would’ve fixed him ignores the reason he has insomnia in the first place. He is so deeply upset by his place in society that he literally cannot sleep. Drugging him to sleep would not change that. That, of course, is the easy, quick response.

But with regard to therapy? The biggest flaw is that it ignores a central tenet of the book. Part of what tortures the narrator and drives him to invent Tyler is that his feelings about this collective, systemic issue are constantly reduced to a Just Him thing. His seatmates ask what his company is. He’s the only one upset at the office. He gets weird looks if he says the truth of what he does. People will do anything in their power to pretend he is the issue, as an individual, because it is far scarier to consider the full implications of the systemic issues implied by what he is saying. Everyone treats it as if the issue is him, so he goes insane. He does anything to get someone to say, holy shit, that’s fucked up, what you’re a part of is wrong. In an attempt to feel any sort of vague sympathy and catharsis, he goes to support groups to pretend to be dying, because then at least people don’t habitually blame him for his anguish. 

Saying therapy would fix him ignores that his problems are not individual. They are collective. It’s the reason the entire story resonates with people! Something deeply, unignorably wrong with society, where people would rather blame you for bringing it up than try and address it, because it feels impossible. I don’t blame people for this, really, because it IS scary. It’s terrifying to sit and feel like you’ve realized there’s something deeply, deeply wrong, but if you say something, people will get mad at you since it’s so baked into everything around you. Or, even if they agree, it’s easier to deal with the dissonance by pretending it’s individual.

And it’s not like that’s not the purpose therapy and medications largely serve, anyway. Getting into dangerous territory for this website, but ultimately, the reason the narrator was seeking medication was because it’s a bandaid. A very numbing bandaid. For these very large, dissonance causing problems, therapy does very little. Medications do what they always have, and distract you with numbness or side effects. It’s a false solution. He is seeking an individualized false solution because he has been browbeaten with the idea that this is an issue with him alone, when it's plainly clear it's not. 

Don't get me wrong. Obviously he has something wrong with him. But it's a product of his situation. It is a fictional exaggeration of a very real occurrence of mental illness provoked by deep unconscionable dissonance and anguish.  There is a clear correlation between what happens and his mental state and his job and how isolated he is. 

The thing is, even if he were chemically numbed, I do think he would’ve lost it regardless. Many people on meds find they don’t fix things. For reasons I’ll get into, but in this case because even if numbed or distracted, once you’ve learned about deep, far reaching corruption in society, it’s very hard to forget. Especially if, in his case, you literally serve as the acting hand of this particular variety. He’s crawling up the walls. 

So why do people say this?  Well, it's funny I guess. Maybe the first time or whatever. But also, often, they believe it, to a degree. Maybe they've just been told how effective therapy and meds are for mental illness, they believe wholeheartedly in The Disease Model of Mental Illness, maybe they themselves have engaged with either and have considered it successful. Maybe they or someone they know has been 'saved' by such treatments. 

But in all honesty.... What therapy can help with is mentality, it's how you approach problems. For issues on a smaller scale, not meaning they are easier to deal with my any degree, but ones that are not raw and direct from deep awareness of corruption; these are things that can be worked through if you get lucky and get an actually good therapist who helps build up your resiliency. But when your issue is concrete, something large and inescapable? It's useless. At best it can help you develop coping mechanisms, but there is a limit for that. There is a point where that fails. To develop the ability to handle something like this requires intense development of a comfort with ambiguity and dissonance and being isolated and a firm positioning of your purpose and values and and belief in wonder and all the other shit I ramble about. The things that the narrator lacks, which lead him to taking an ineffectual death knell anarchist self-destruction path. Therapy, where the narrator is, full of the knowledge of braces melted to seats and all the people that have to allow this to happen? It fails. 

And meds — meds are a fucking scam. We know the working mechanism of basically none of them, the serotonin receptor model was made up and paid its way into prominence. We have very little evidence they're any better than placebo, and they come with genuinely horrific side effects. Maybe you got lucky. I did, on some meds. On others? I don't remember 2018. The pharmaceutical industry is also known for rampant medical ghostwriting, and for creating 'off-label' uses for drugs that have gained too many protests in their original use, then creating a cult of use to then have 'grassroots' campaigns for it to be made a label use (ie, legitimize their ghostwritten articles with guided anecdotes). 

The DSM itself is basically a marketing segregation plot. It's an attempt to legitimize the disease model by isolating subgroups of symptoms to propose individualized treatments for subgroups that are not necessarily all that separate. But if the groups exist, you can prescribe more and different medications, no? Not to mention, if you use the disease model, you can propose that these diseases are permanent, or permanent until treated, considered more and more severe to offset and justify the horrific side effects of the medications. Do you know why male birth control doesn't really exist? Same reason. They can justify all the horrible side effects for women, because the other option is pregnancy. For men, it's nothing. 

And they're not bothering to invent new drugs without side effects. When they invent new drugs it's just because the last one got too bad of a name, or they can enter a new market. Modern drugs don't work any better than gen1 drugs. They still have horrific side effects. At best, the industry will shit out studies saying the old one was flawed (truth) so they can say this new gen will be better (lie). They're doing it with ssris right now. 

Fundamentally, the single proposed benefit of any of these drugs is that they numb you. To whatever is torturing you. It's harder to be depressed if you can't feel it, or if you just can't muster the same outrage. Of course, there is people who find that numbness to be helpful, or worth it. But often, it's stasis. For the people who have problems that can be worked on, it serves as a stopgap to not actually work on said problems. The natural outcome of the disease model is stagnation for those whose need is to develop skills and resiliency. It keeps them medicalized and dependent on the idea that they're diseased and incapable. Profitable. Stuck in the womb. 

I’ve been there. It’s easier, to wallow, and resist growth because it’s difficult and painful and unfair and cruel and you can think of five billion reasons to justify your languishing. But don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re just permanently damaged, no matter how nicely they word it, no identity or novel pathologization, no matter how many benefits they promise, especially if they swear up and down some lovely expensive medications with little solid backing and plentiful off-label usage and side effects that’ll kill you. Some days it feels like they want us all stuck in pods, agoraphobic and addicted to the ads they feed us to isolate the markets for the drugs they’ve trained us to beg them to pump us with. Polarization making it as easy as flashing blue light for go, red like for stop, or vice versa. I worry about the kids, for fucks sake. That’s a bit dark and intense, and I apologize. But I want you (generic) to understand, there is a profit motive. Behind everything. And they do not mean well. They do not care about your mental health or your rights or your personhood or your growth. They care about how they can profit off of you.

For those struggling with immovable, society problems, like the narrator grappling with how his job fits into and is accepted by society while his rejection and horror in the face of it does not, it can work about as well as any other drug addiction. Your mileage may vary. From what I've seen, recovering from being on prozac for a long time can be worse than alcohol. They put kids on this shit. They keep campaigning for more. Off label, again. A pharmaceutical company’s favorite thing to do has to be to spread rumors of someone who knows someone who said an off label use of this drug helps with this little understood condition. Or, in the case of mental illness, questionably defined condition. And like, damn, I know I'm posting on the 'medicalization is my identity' website so no one will like all this and has probably stopped reading by now, but yall should be exposed to at least one person who doubts this stuff. Doesn't just trust it. Because I mean, that's the thing right?

It's so big. What would it mean, for this all to be true? Yeah, everyone says pharmaceutical companies are evil and predatory and ghostwriting, but to think about what that really entails. Coming back to the book, everyone knows the car lobby is huge and puts dangerous vehicles through that kill people. What does it mean if the car companies all hire people to calculate the cost of a recall and the cost of lawsuits? No one wants to think about the scale that means for people allowing it or the systems that have to be geared towards money, not safety like they say. Hell, even Chuck misses the beat and has the narrator threaten his boss with the Department of Transportation. And shit, man, if every company is doing this, you think Transportation doesn't know? That they give a fuck? You're better off mailing all the evidence to the news outlets and hoping they only character assassinate you a little bit as they release the news in a way that says it's all the fault of little workers like you, not the whole system. Something something, David McBride, any whistleblower you feel like, etc. 

So I don't blame you, if your reaction is "but but but, that can't be right, people wouldn't do it, they wouldn't allow it" or just an overwhelming feeling of dread that pushes you to deny all of this and avoid thinking about it. Just know, that's in the book. That's all the seatmates on the flights. That's all his fellow officemates. It's easier to pretend, I know.

But think about, how the response fits in with the themes of the book. The story, as a movie too. What drives the narrator’s mental breakdown? How would you handle being in his position? How would you handle being his seatmate? It’s easy to say you’d listen. But have you? Have you had any soul wrenching betrayals of how you thought society worked? How about a betrayal by the thing that promised to be the fix of the first? Can you honestly say you wouldn’t follow that gut instinct, saying follow what everyone says, that person must just be crazy, evil, rude, cruel, whatever it is that means you can set what they said aside?

For a lot of people, they can do that, I guess. Set it aside. Reaching that aforementioned state of managing to cope with the dissonance and ambiguity and despair is very hard. The narrator made the Big Realization, but he couldn’t cope. He self-destructed. Even when people don’t make the big realization consciously, they’re already self-destructing. It’s hard to escape it when it feels easier than continuing anyway. When it feels like the only option,

Would therapy fix the narrator of Fight Club? Would meds fix the narrator of Fight Club? No. He knows too much. All meds will do, by the time he’s in the psych ward, is spiritually neuter him. A silly phrase, but really. Take the wind out of his sails. 

Is he fixed if he doesn’t try to blow up town? If he just shuts up and settles in and stops costing money? If he still can’t cope with the things he’s unearthed? Do you see how this is a commentary in a commentary in a commentary?

Fight Club is an absolutely fascinating story because of this. The fact that it addresses the fallout of knowing. The isolation. The hopelessness. The spiral that results from a lack of hope. This is, I think, what resonates most with people, even if not consciously. Going insane because you’ve discovered something you wish you could unknow. It’s a classic horror story. Should our society be lovecraftian evil? I don’t think so. 

Do I think changing it will be easy? No. Lord knows a lot exists to push people who make these sorts of Realizations towards feelings of individuality and individualized solutions and denial and other distractions and coping methods. And to prevent people who make One realization from expanding on it and considering further ramifications. Fight Club itself gets into this; the isolation of men being a strict part of the role society shapes for their sex leaves them very vulnerable to death fetishes, in a sense, and generally towards self destructive violence. It helps funnel them away from substantial change and towards ineffectual change. Many things, misogyny, racism, serve to keep people isolated from one another, individualized, angry, and impossible to work with. Market segregation; god knows even appealing on those fronts has become such a classic ploy that companies do it now, the US military frames its plundering that way, etc. 

I’ve wandered a bit but ultimately, my point is this: Fight Club is a love letter to the horrors of critical thinking, and the importance of not falling into the trap of self destruction and hopelessness in the face of it. The latter is why Tyler was an anarchoterrorist instead of anything useful. The latter is why it was a death cult. It’s important to work through the horrors of critical thinking so you can do it, and stand on the other side ready to believe in each other. It’s worth it.

[azul-marie]

luis. (sweet talk)

note: fem. reader. implied to be latina/hispanic; no physical features are mentioned. can also simply pass as a spanish speaker. spanish was kindly corrected by @angi-writes-filth ; translations are included at the end for your convenience.

“¿dime, chula, qué pasa entre usted y el oficial?”

his question has leon turning to you with a serious curiosity, no doubt hoping you’d translate something useful. unfortunately for him, and for you, it’s nothing more than what luis hopes will turn into flirtatious banter.

you shake your head at your partner, leaving him unconvinced. you hope his meager grasp of spanish keeps him from understanding too much. “¿qué con que?” you beck your head at luis, who grins upon receiving your attention. “es mi socio, nada más.”

your coy reply does not escape him. at once he slinks to your side, playful gray eyes flicking about your pretty face. “parece que le caes muy bien, ¿eh? te ha cuidado más que a la niñita.” he bumps shoulders, a teasing gesture. gets you rolling your eyes with a hint of a smile on your lips.

across the room of the safehouse, ashley looks on with girlish interest, her brows raising suggestively at the sight of you two so close. you send her a face, a code between young women, that has her fighting back a laugh.

leon, ever responsible, busies himself by placing whatever broken wooden planks he finds onto the dirty glass windows by the entrance door. you catch him glancing ever so often back at where you stand, unable to hide the wary way he eyes the man cozying up beside you. you ponder luis’s words.

“quiero pensar que somos amigos. los amigos se necesitan quererse, ¿no?” you reiterate, shifting your weight opposite of him. a thrill runs up your heart when he inches closer, intentions all too obvious.

“eso es lo que quiero saber, cariña. usted, el chaval, sólo sois amigos, ¿verdad?”

“vaya…estás muy interesando en él. ¿por qué me hablas a mi?”

“supongo que quiero saber si tengo una chance, ¿que mas?” luis chuckles, moves to prop his shoulder onto the wall behind you, one arm loosely caging you, the other resting on his hip. “y, pues, la cosa es…” he leans in, the tip of his nose brushing against the shell of your ear, “que difícil ignorar a alguien tan hermosa.”

heat rises up your face, a trained façade breaking as you laugh him off, unable to stop from smiling this time. luis hovers, incredibly pleased, watching from up close how your beauty lights up. he lingers even when you give him a lighthearted shove, stammering an excuse of having to check upstairs for supplies.

he lays back against the wall, feels the vibrations of your heels clicking up the stairs. knows you won’t find anything, anyway — if you weren’t so flustered, you’d remember he had already gone up there to check as soon as the group arrived.

a satisfied smirk refuses to leave his face, despite the severe way leon glares at him from across the room.

“i’m guessing you didn’t share any valuable input?” leon asks curtly, broad shoulders tense.

friends, my ass, luis thinks. he throws his hands up innocently, appearing clueless to leon’s envy. “no, no, it was. valuable for her to know, at least.” he winks impishly, earning himself a scowl. “c’mon, yanqui, i’m just being friendly, you know?”

though his jaw sets tight, leon says nothing in return, remembering ashley stands not too far from his place near the front door.

“everything’s clear up here.” your voice comes down the stairs before the rest of you does. you pointedly ignore both men eyeing your figure as you make your way to ashley’s side. “there’s a relatively clean bed upstairs if you’d like to rest, sweetie. i know it’s hard to relax in our situation, but i think it’s best you try.”

ashley quirks a brow. i’ll go if you tell me everything.

you offer your hand. well, duh.

“yeah, you’re probably right.” ashley agrees, voice feigning hesitation, placing her hand in yours to lead her away. she gives leon a passing look to gauge his reaction, but can’t seem to look past what she now recognizes as his “cool, calm, agent guy” persona. that, and, he’s a little too occupied watching you walk away to really react.

at least luis shows a little disappointment when you walk by without looking his way, even pouting at the lack of attention. the air sours as the two men are left alone, for plenty of reasons she’s clueless for.

she should really brush up on her spanish when she gets home.

translations below: “tell me, cutie, what’s up with you and the officer?” “what’s with what? he’s my associate, nothing more.” “it looks like he likes you quite a bit. he’s taken more care of you than of the girl.” “i like to think we’re friends. friends have to like each other, don’t they?” “that’s what i’d like to know, sweetheart. you, the guy, you’re just friends, right?” “wow…you’re seriously interested in him. why are you talking to me?” “i guess i wanna know if i have a chance, what else? and, well, the thing is…it’s difficult to ignore someone so beautiful.”

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

Thoughts about the Minecraft movie trailer?

Imagine if it had all been filmed inside of minecraft, SMP style. It would be so funny to see the most intense scene and on screen its just 🧍‍♀️🧍🏽‍♂️

The trailer is...... something. Not something good, but it definitely exists. What a timeline we live in.

Does anyone know what the like to dislike ratio looks like right now?

[synthwayve]

The grad students that destroyed the world \o/ I would punch them both

[zephyrine-gale]

i love your art so much!!! thank you for drawing kazuscara <3 they look so pretty in your style

thank you!! I hope I can do them both justice with the comic :> also bonus meme page because I put my color guides in blank spaces and this one made kazuha sound like a freak cryptid lmao

[mokeonn]

The most annoying phenomena on this website is grown adults refusing to educate themselves, despite the abundant recourses at their disposal, because their heads are still stuck in highschool.

[mossypidder]

I have more reasons but I don’t have the energy to write them right now.

But yeah, I’ve been thinking about what I’d be if I were in Faas and Enya’s universe and I thought I’d be a changeling as well for a while for many reasons, but upon further consideration I think I was wrong. So here’s the first concept art for a my avian persona.

As for the songs (which was one of the main influences on why I started thinking about avians because I realized that over the last six months the majority of songs I’ve been obsessed with have bird centric undertones at the very least) you can find them here

[cynicalmusings]

the pairing of heizou x forensic linguist!reader is rotating around my brain like it’s in a microwave.

i can totally imagine them both hyper-analysing mundane conversations between people (and each other!)—and it’s an added bonus if there’s a hint of a skulder dynamic going on where heizou’s always going on about his wacky dreams and intuition and the reader’s more down-to-earth and sticking to the hard facts.

actually, hold that thought for a moment—a linguist who likes sticking to the hard facts is interesting. it’s not necessarily a contradiction, per se, but linguistics as a science/field of study is much less materialistic than, well, the sciences, despite the research being conducted in a scientific manner. so having an brain-in-the-clouds detective, who “should” be concerned with purely the physical evidence, and a very down-to-earth linguist who “should” be more comfortable with the abstract, work together, makes a very interesting dynamic…