#always on the cusp of something. almost there but not quite there. that type of character

[nenekobasu]

really think like, isagi is someone who got his destined hero's call and dutifully set out on his journey and along the way it was revealed that he's actually the offspring of a demon, while kaiser is someone who got the hero's call said "fuck that shit" and tried to villain his way out of his duty

[lightbarebunnies]

Hello hello! I saw that there was one more matchup slot open and was like “hey, don’t mind if I do!”

So… about me. I’m a 19y.o. transmasc person (he/they). I’m a Pisces (cusp Aries) sun, Aquarius moon, and Capricorn rising, my MBTI type is ENTP, and my enneagram type is 8w7. I stand at 160cm (5’3”). I have shoulder length naturally wavy (I straighten it) strawberry blonde hair that I highlight with platinum blonde. I also have hazel eyes, pale skin and freckles.

Generally I dress in a mix of business casual and gothic aesthetics, combining stuff like your typical button-up shirt/dress pants combo with combat boots and long jackets/trenchcoats. Also tying bows around the neckline of collared shirts in the place of a tie, or wearing a bejeweled tie. I’m also quite the fan of blazers haha. In terms of jewelry, I usually wear cuff earrings (my favorite being a silver snake that slithers up my ear), and finger armor style rings, or ones that are designed to bend with your finger. I also do wear makeup, but usually it’s only eyeliner, and then a bit of eyeshadow and some rhinestones near my eyes in a color that matches my outfit.

I’m a sophomore in university, majoring in music with a concentration in vocal performance. I’ve been taking private vocal lessons since I was in elementary school, and music has been my passion for as long as I can remember. I’m also an amateur composer (although my teacher does say I’m a mature writer for my age, which is something I’m definitely proud of, hehe.) I’ve also been an actor since I was small, so I spent a lot of my formative years on a stage, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Although, I will definitely say, growing up in the entertainment industry and around so many people I grew to idolize made me a bit of a perfectionist in regard to my own work. I hold myself and anything that I make to a very high standard, but that’s because I want to see it be what I know it can be. I’m also a bit of a busybody since I’m almost always performing, composing, or working on college work. I do love it, though! Every day I’m always improving my craft, and working closer to finally being the musician I know I can be.

Outside of my professional life, though, I’m much less uptight, especially regarding myself, although music is still my lifeblood. I was on my debate team in high school, too, though. In terms of non-music related hobbies, I enjoy roller skating (I go every week), drawing (markers are my main medium), writing (I’m working on a gothic horror duology, but I also roleplay, literate to advanced lit), playing games (I also play Magic: The Gathering biweekly), dancing, and visiting museums (art exhibits or historical houses, there’s some preserved mansions nearby the theater where I work and perform nearly every day, and they’re my happy place, I go on my birthday nearly every year). I also read tarot, and I have a collection of crystals that grows by the day haha.

Some favorite bands/artists from outside of Ensemble Square would have to be Laufey, Frank Sinatra, Kaya, The Mechanisms, Evanescence, Dreamcatcher and Ali Project.

My love language is primarily compliments and acts of service, especially as I’m growing more comfortable around a person, since it takes me a second to be comfortable with being vulnerable without the safety of the stage lights and a role to feel safe behind. I’m more comfortable with hugs once I know someone well and we’re both clearly comfy with the idea of it. (Also, late night texts, usually driven by creative ideas.)

Hopefully this isn’t too much 😭 I did get a bit carried away, I was like “what else can I say” haha. I’m really curious to see how this goes!

Hi, hi! Your result will be under the read more to maintain the surprise surprise, while my thought process will be displayed below – it is entirely skipable <3

Initial Thoughts: Ah, ENTP… the dream partner MBTI /j I think Pisces-Aries cusps are incredibly interesting given how drastically different the individual signs typically are, but you being an 8w7 matches your sun sign perfectly? I love that for you!

Basically, 8w7 desires freedom and a feeling of self-control, while also not stomping those around them into confirming to them. You would get along best with someone slower paced, to build friendship before you move on to partnership – a sense of trust needs to be built so you can feel secure.

Initial Selection: Rei, Shu, Eichi, and Tatsumi are the four I ended up picking to examine further.

Rei: Old man no.1… He’s definitely the type who needs time to get close to someone before opening up about his true self at all. Rei is an INFJ, which may seem like an opposite to ENTP, but in reality they gel well together because their differences are so complimentary. You’d be able to give Rei new perspectives, while also keeping him from getting to deep into his own head.

Shu: INTJs tend to get along exceptionally well with ENTPs, providing deep and meaningful discussions and generally understanding each other far more than other MBTI types do. As a 1w9, he can relate to being an advocate for others to maintain their individuality and freedom (… I mean, look at how he gets frustrated with Mika for not embracing his own unique sense of creativity) but he also might nag you for not having as much ‘tact’ as he does.

Eichi: Eichi is a Capricorn, which gives him that strong ‘get things done’ work ethic as well as a general sense of passion and tenacity. Pisces-Aries cusp is unique in that it’s basically a more determined version of Pisces. You’re both able to be honest, and Eichi won’t absolutely dominate your personality with his own – while you both have your individual passions, you can appreciate the other’s.

Tatsumi: The layers of Tatsumi Kazehaya are not meant to be pealed back by just anyone, which is why I think the two of you would make a pretty good match. Like Rei and Eichi, he’s an INFJ. The biggest difference between the others is that he’s a type 7, which is your wing. You’re both more cooperative, warm people who are generally pleasant… so forming that initial bond will be easy and eventually you’ll get to a mutual sense of trust and comfort.

With all of that in mind…

I'd match you with Shu!

It’s definitely a slow burn, but once that fire starts it’s going to be impossible to put out. Even if you do something to absolutely infuriate him, he’ll be adamant on letting you know rather than ignore you or brush it off.

Music will definitely be the place your bond begins. He loves your creativity, especially in the various mediums that you enjoy, and the passion you have for music as a whole will spark that initial attraction. When hit with an idea that he can’t quite get out properly, he’s going to want to talk it out with you. Your varying perspectives will be more than enough for him to trust you with having a part in his creative process.

Given your similar need for time to develop a full relationship, things would progress slowly but surely. Museum trips for inspiration slowly start turning into dates, he’ll start to reach for to your hand when in a more populated areas, you might catch him looking at you more than the art.

Once you’re properly together and have established your romantic relationship, Shu is going to want to do more for you. He’ll offer to do your make-up, make you accessories to match a certain outfit you particularly like, and… if you’d let him, he’d certainly want to make some sort of matching attire for the two of you to wear. He’s proud of you, of being yours, and he’d like others to know that much.

[welcometomy20s]

April 2, 2023

I thought I was going to skip this month, but guess not.

#766 - (Not) A Devil (DECO*27, PinocchioP) [Hatsune Miku]

Achievement Date: 23-03-02, Upload Date: 23-01-13

Astoundingly fast achievement for the song, and probably one of my favorite songs in recent times, almost perfect collaboration between two of the biggest producers in the VOCALOID world right now. It is also an interesting note in how tuning can change the character directly, which is such a subtle point in how VOCALOIDs work.

#767 - Apricot (Iyowa) [Hatsune Miku]

Achievement Date: 23-03-05, Upload Date: 21-12-12

Iyowa has been the major rising star in the VOCALOID world, and this song has been one of the forefront. I believe this song is the title track for the second album. Very much a prototypical Iyowa song, kind of a sleek version of Kikuo’s madness, with similar type of imaginative plotlines and MVs. Oh, and the turn in the bridge, impactful.

#768 - Chimera (DECO*27) [Hatsune Miku]

Achievement Date: 23-03-07, Upload Date: 22-04-02

DECO*27 return to more of a hard rock, akin to Hibana (apparently this was originally labeled Hibana 2). I like the social media fueled lyrics and this is certainly return to form in structure to which DECO*27 is familiar. Good as always.

#U-10, 769 - heat abnormal (Iyowa) [Adachi Rei, Hatsune Miku]

Achievement Date: 23-03-10, Upload Date: 22-10-08

Another VocaCore winner on the list. Adachi Rei is fascinating because it is fully A.I. unlike others which use a human voice as the base. I think this song kind of fits the current VOCARO meta, simple almost drum-and-bass beats and instrumentation and rather fast lyrics, which I feel is a direct influence from Project Sekai and TikTok being so instrumental in powering the community forward. Still a fantastic song.

#770 - Nekomimi Archive (Kusoinaka-P) [Hatsune Miku]

Achievement Date: 23-03-18, Upload Date: 12-01-28

One of the songs that comes a lot as one of the best ‘cat’ songs in VOCALOID oeuvre, but only just made it onto this list. Very emblematic of the loud rock of the golden age, which doesn’t make this song any passe per se. It’s worth a listen.

#771 - City Lights (Shiina Mota) [Kagamine Rin]

Achievement Date: 23-03-23, Upload Date: 13-01-21

There are a lot of Shiina Mota just under the cusp, as his songs received a lot of attention due to his tragic passing became well known. This song strikes right between happy-go-lucky sounding songs and his subtle fast beat songs, and the vaguely depressing lyrics which feel more bitter after his untimely demise.

#772 - Eikou SPECTRUM (M.S.S. Project) [Hatsune Miku]

Achievement Date: 23-03-23, Upload Date: 17-02-04

A compass song from that Minecraft group, probably honestly one of the best people to design a background music for a NicoNico fighting game, and this does not disappoint. Really beautiful chord progression, honestly I think one of the best they have done.

#773 - Uninterrupted Indigo (ShiShiShiShi) [Hatsune Miku]

Achievement Date: 23-03-24, Upload Date: 19-06-25

ShiShiShiShi has been one of the unsung favorites, and they finally have their most popular song on the list. That guitar intro is such a great entrance, and the song just oozes coolness like the neon light MV of this song. Something I get from these jazz-infused songs is that Miku is quite high compared to singers. 

#774 - I am you (rerulili) [Hatsune Miku, Nightcord at 25:00]

Achievement Date: 23-03-27, Upload Date: 22-11-28

First ProSeca song which the Sekai version hit this list before the original. I will write my impression after the VOCALOID version hits this list, which will be… soon???

[dollhouseirl]

The Last World

My game jam VN is set in/led me to work out a setting I want to elaborate on called The Last World. As a writer, there is a big verse I have wanted to work on for about ten or so years based on forum RPs with my friends when I was a teenager. I've spent the entire time since elaborating on everything, thinking up characters, and trying to set everything into a kind of order. I was always on the cusp of succeeding but could never quite get there until this project. Purple Prose for Purple Hearts and the work I have done for it is a kind of screwdriver for my work. If you don't mind too much, I want to do a bit of free associative worldbuilding.

Lucia lives in the Last World. It is basically our world but stranger because it is set in a multiverse that extends far more broadly beyond our conceptions of space and the universe. There is a fourth dimension we are not privy to that is its own space where entities exist. Strangely, they are not beyond our comprehension; they are quite within it if we listen to them. They are just kind of off from our comprehension. Adjacent to it. They resemble what we comprehend but don't seem possible or realistic.

Why is it called the Last World? Well... You won't need any of this knowledge to enjoy my VN. This is a bonus post of sorts because I like the idea of talking about my work's broader purpose and having there be creator's thoughts for readers to engage with or ignore as they please. But: there are two universes in my setting - the old and the new and a single door between the two that will only allow one person to go through.

Very Homestuck, right? I swear, I hadn't even thought of it but I did read and enjoy it up to Act 6. Definitely owe it a creative debt but it isn't the same thing, I swear. Much anyway.

The Last World is existentially baffling: most worlds in the old universe have magic, superpowers, angels, elves, aliens, a patchwork of gods, devils, fantastical things taking place every day in front of people all the time. The Last World is desperately torn between being mundane and more deeply insane than any other world out there. It looks like there is nothing to it other than faith and insanity as everything heads towards a human extinction-level event that no humans are willing to stop.

But it is not normal.

It is receiving emanations from the new universe. Universes cast a type of light through the fourth dimension that holds these two universes together so it is actually deeply strange in a way that the people in it just do not see any more.

The Stanford Prison Experiment was the first step in a broad scale project to craft a sorcery intended by the powerful to label the powerless. It looked like a failure but was an unqualified success that plays out through all the mental hospitals in Last World America. Dr. Harlow captured the human soul in miniature with a clutch of infant monkeys and emotionally battered them by trapping them and us within the Pit of Despair before changing his mind and working to undo his work. Dwight David Eisenhower was lead to a sword in a stone, pulled it out, and told everyone assembled: my name is Ike; we all like Ike; I do not want anything to do with this, and then did just like Washington had done and left an America that would never come to terms with itself.

There are more things besides. I want to think and dream on an alternative magical America as I would write it. The Last World falls victim constantly to a fourth dimensional phenomenon called a Contrivance. I say phenomenon but it is really a sentient non-being. A sentient device for misery or for breaking reality. Something like that. In many worlds in the old universe, Contrivances can adopt human form; the Last World is not so lucky and they can be almost invisible. That is why they have been far more effective there and why the Last World will break for good if no one does something about it.

The Last World is under the watchful eye of a being known as the Harvester for now (he will have a proper name later). The Harvester believes the old universe is going to die and believes only the Last World has the keys necessary to save it. So he harvests and his harvests are senseless to those being harvested, brutal to those being harvested, but, in truth, clinical and highly sensible if you but understood the terms under which a being like the Harvester, a fourth-dimensional being, sees the world and operates and where he came from.

Purple Prose is the first story in the setting chronologically. It represents a woman who seems unremarkable and who isn't especially remarkable deciding that she is fed up with the Last World. She doesn't understand what the Harvester is, emanations, isn't privy to the truths I've set forth as examples about why the Last World's America isn't ours but has come to suspect a couple due to her manic episodes. The Last World is a world where magic and insanity are alternative forms of the same 'thing'; you can be magic and neurotypical and have mental illness without being magic. That said, however, the Last World has a kind of gravity where one and the other are like magnets. Lucia is a witch with bipolar I who has decided to take a course of action that will invite more of the fourth dimension into the Last World, for better or worse.

[astroaquarium]

Signs on the House Cusps series: Part 1 Aries-Virgo

Aries on the 1st: you come across as being headstrong, determined, and a go geter! you are an open book, and are unapologetically you.

Aries on the 2nd: you take your finances very seriously, and are likely very good at saving money. You are open and honest about what you value.

Aries on the 3rd: you were a leader in school in front of your peers/and siblings. Your voice might be quite brash or loud.

Aries on the 4th: in your family, you are the leader or the dominant voice. Your home life might have been aggressive in terms of living arrangements or relationship to your family in either a positive or negative way.

Aries on the 5th: you might enjoy sports as a passtime, and/or the gym and excersise. You might look at dating like its a sport or a competition. Your children might have Arian qualities.

Aries on the 6th: your routine is very fast paced and on the go. You don’t like to sit still, instead you smash through your daily to do lists. You are blessed with a good fighting immune system.

Aries on the 7th: you are attract dominat romantic partners, who take the lead in the relationship.

Aries on the 8th: your sex drive is very healthy and might have a high libido. You are most likely very dominant in the bedroom.

Aries on the 9th: you might have very strong religious or spirtiual beliefs or very strong beliefs against this. you might like to study or be interested in the human body and human movement.

Aries on the 10th: you might have a career in sports, managment/leadership, medicine, or emergency services. You like to be seen as a leader in the workplace.

Aries on the 11th: you are a very supportive and encouraging friend, you push them to be better.

Aries on the 12th: you keep hidden your feelings of anger, rage, and passion, as these feelings scare you.

Taurus on the 1st: you come across as being very calm, cool, and collected. you are traditionally beautiful.

Taurus on the 2nd: you love the finer things in life and that is what you get when you set your mind to it, although you may have a tendancy to procrastinate and indulge.

Taurus on the 3rd: you have a beautiful soothing voice. you likely have a good relationship with your siblings.

Taurus on the 4th: your family may be very nurturing and supportive, you may have found memories of your upbringing.

Taurus on the 5th: you may enjoy winning and dinning frequently, you might like to cook or bake in your spare time. Your children may have been a breeze to take care of.

Taurus on the 6th: you may procrastinate daily tasks and chores, you like taking things slow and need freqent naps.

Taurus on the 7th: you attract beautiful romantic partners, who may be slow, stubborn, and materialistic.

Taurus on the 8th: you are very sensual being, you crave touch and tantric sexual encouters. You may die a very peaceful death.

Taurs on the 9th: may be interested in or study the arts or art history or even beauty therapy.

Taurus on the 10th: seen as very beautiful and lusted over in the workplace. this is a model placement. may also have a career in the arts.

Taurus on the 11th: very caring friend, maybe a little bit lazy in checking up on them at times, but you care so deeply for them. You dream of a better world.

Taurus on the 12th: you hide your femininity and vulnerability, this scares you.

Gemini on the 1st: you come across as very chatty, socialable, and fun. People trust you easily!

Gemini on the 2nd: you may like to gamble (money, and valuables). Your values might change frequently.

Gemini on the 3rd: you are very easy to talk to, you may talk very fast and be super chatty. You are likely the most talkative out of your siblings, and have very open communication with them. Such a wordsmith!

Gemini on the 4th: may have grown up in a very intellectually focesed family. You probably keep in contact with your family regularly.

Gemini on the 5th: you might like to write in your spare time. Your kids might be chatterboxes.

Gemini on the 6th: you hate routine and prefer to do things on your own watch. You might have ups and downs with your health, but you may recover from illness quite quickly.

Gemini on the 7th: you attract chatterboxes and intellectual types. Your romantic partners often challenge you mentally.

Gemini on the 8th: you might keep your thoughts to yourself and be reluctant to share. You are quite changeable sexually, and are open to most things.

Gemini on the 9th: you might love to study, and even be an eternal student and find it hard to narrow down to just one thing, as you are always changing your mind.

Gemini on the 10th: you might be seen as a becon of knowledge by work collegues. You may have a career in journalism, the media, academia, or performing arts.

Gemini on the 11th: you are the chatty friend. You have big ideas ans dreams that are always changing.

Gemini on the 12th: you keep your voice hidden, you dont like to speak up for yourself because you might be scared of others judgement.

Cancer on the 1st: you come across as extremely sweet, shy, and affectionate. People can feel instantly protected and close to you.

Cancer on the 2nd: you hold your finances very close to your heart and may be inclined to spend and put value on centimental items over others.

Cancer on the 3rd: you have sweet, soft voice. you may have been very shy in school. you are likely the nurtuer of your siblings.

Cancer on the 4th: you had a very wholesome upbringing, maybe slightly sheltered? your relationship with your family is very warm and personable, you love your family.

Cancer on the 5th: you might like to cook, knit, or create art in your spare time. Your children may have cancerian qualities.

Cancer on the 6th: your routine is very dependant on how you feel. if you dont feel like doing something chances are you wont.

Cancer on the 7th: you attract romantic partners who are nurtueres, people who will take care of you and dote on you.

Cancer on the 8th: you are the ultimate lover and nurter. your death may be very emotionally painful.

Cnacer on the 9th: you may be interested in studying childrens studies and/or primary or early childhood care and teaching. You may also be interested in studying the culinary arts.

Cancer on the 10th: you are the mum of your workplace, your collegues come to you for emotional support. You may have a career in psychology, primary teaching, hospitality, or nursing.

Cancer on the 11th: you are the mum friend. you have dreams of being loved and nurtered by those you care about, you crave affection.

Cancer on the 12th: you hide your emotions, these are what scares you most, as you dont even understand them yourself.

Leo on the 1st: you come across as confident, loud, and bold. people gravitate towards your boldness.

Leo on the 2nd: you have over the top taste, and love luxuries of life. You value people and things that give you the most affection and praise.

Leo on the 3rd: you might have a loud, warm voice. you might have a very fun, and full relationship with your siblings.

Leo on the 4th: likely the golden child of the family, your family likely adores you and showers you with praise. alternatively you could of had a lot of pressure to perform and meet high standards of your parents and been more of a trophy than a child.

Leo on the 5th: you might enjoy the performing arts, and/or music, you might be very into performing for others in your spare time.

Leo on the 6th: your routine is very egocentric, you do things on your terms to suit yourself. you need to have fun in your day to day life. blessed with good vitality, health wise!

Leo on the 7th: you attract bold, egocentric, and life of the party type romantic partners.

Leo on the 8th: you are a lion/lioness in the bedroom, and demmand to be praised and have all attention on you!

Leo on the 9th: you might be very religious and/or spiritual! you might study performing arts, business, or legal studies.

Leo on the 10th: your work collegues see you as someone of high authority and noblbility. you may have a career as a lawyer, actor, politician, ceo, or entreprenur

Leo on the 12th: you hide yourself from others, as you aren’t really evern sure of who you are, this scares you.

Virgo on the 1st: you come across as a bit standoffish, intellegent, and practical. People come to you for real no bullshit advice.

Virgo on the 2nd: you are smart with your money and know how to budget. you value practicality and logic over everything.

Virgo on the 3rd: you might have a soft but stern voice. your relationship with your sibling might be a bit cold, or maybe just avergae.

Virgo on the 4th: your family might have been strict and/or very traditional upbringing. You may have felt a lot of pressure to stand up to perfectionistic expectations.

Virgo on the 5th: may like to write and journal in your spare time, you might also love to excersise and find healthy recipes.

Virgo on the 6th: very organised routine day to day, you love structure!! very health concious, you make good healthy choices and your body rewards you for this.

Virgo on the 7th: you attract very detail oriented, perfectionsts as romantic partners, who have a knack for picking you apart and wanting to better your life.

Virgo on the 8th: you might keep your thoughts to yourself. you are likely to be very kinky and sexually expressive.

Virgo on the 9th: you love to study!! you might go on to study journalism, media communications, history, health, or even medicine.

Virgo on the 10th: your seen as very organised and together in the workplace, your collegues can always count on you. you may have a career in naturopathy, medicine, health care, nursing, journalism, or communications.

Virgo on the 11th: a very wholesome friend, who would bend over backwards for others, you put your friends before yourself always.

Virgo on the 12th: you hide your thoughts and ideas, these are always changing and seem almost out of reach for you and this scares you.

[astrobydalia]

Feeding you more astro observations😛

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

🔍 Look at the planet that rules the DECAN!! I have noticed that this provides a lot more detail and information about a house’s rulership. If you don’t know what decans are, check this post. For example: Say you have the cusp of the 5th house landing in Sagittarius on the second decan (Aries decan in this case) Then if you were to look for the ruler of the 5th house you would look for Jupiter but you’d ALSO may wanna take a peak at mars (bc mars is the ruler of Aries) to get even more info and detail on that house’s rulership

📚 Mars in Sagittarius/9th house can be especially upset/annoyed when people teach them wrong (like wrong/confusing info) even if it’s not deliberate. That’s bc Sagittarius influence makes you have “faith” in the people you see as mentors and having those people disappoint you in their guidance can be specially upsetting

📝 I want people to understand this: Harmonious aspects are not a guarantee that the energy between those planets will manifest positively. Just like challenging aspects don’t mean you are doomed. Challenging aspects mean life long struggles and life lessons basically.  Harmonious aspects just mean that the energy between those planets flows effortlessly. How energy manifests in a person depends on overall context of the chart and how that person CHOOSES to manage/use that given energy

👀 Having Pluto conj. the ASC, in the 1st house, Scorpio ASC or even Pluto/scorpio in the 5th can make you very jealous and possessive about your own individuality/persona. Meaning that you could find a sense of empowerment in being the black sheet or being different or even intimidating in some way and you may be the type of person to low-key really dislike or even resent it when people compare you to someone else pointing out similarities. It’s like marking your territory on your individuality

🥵 Everybody is always saying how Scorpio risings are magnetic and stuff but have you ever met an Aries rising??? These people have literally everyone drooling over them. They exude a vibe of effortless empowerment that is just sexy. They will generally attract people that will confess their love to them rather than the other way around

👡 Venus in Virgo individuals really have the most insipid taste ever. (And that’s coming from someone that has a “less is more” philosophy)😭 It’s like they’re SO picky that everything that they end up giving the approval is so... basic.... But one thing is sure is that you’ll at least never see them looking like a mess

🖇 Uranus in 2nd house is an incredibly resolutive placement. They’re the type of people to come up with like super random DIY stuff.

🚲 Earth mars are really the ones that invented the “unbothered” concept. They ACTUALLY don’t give a fuck, they just don’t (specially Capricorn). This obviously doesn’t mean that they don’t take things seriously. In fact it’s quite the opposite. What I mean is that they usually don’t let things get to them. Similar to Scorpio mars, they REALLY dislike wasting their energy with just anything bc they DO take things seriously. With earth energy there’s this huge energy of investment, they don’t like to invest energy on things that aren’t worth it. You’ll be actually surprised and scared to hear an earth mars saying they are genuinely pissed or upset. Capricorn mars will put you IN YOUR PLACE. Virgo mars would be the type to pull receipts and facts. Taurus mars is a lot more chill but people really underestimate the powerful and grounded presence they can have

🔫 Capricorn and Scorpio mars are the scariest mars signs. In that order. And you can’t change my mind

🍆 Scorpio mars people like prolonged, slow but intense sex. Basically having sex with a Scorpio mars is like listening to a very good song where you just keep waiting for the beat to drop but it never does. I guess that’s why Scorpio energy can be so intoxicating bc it always leaves you at the verge of full satisfaction in a way you just keep going back for more.

👔 Venus in Capricorn/10th house or Capricorn in the 2nd house are people that prefer wearing suits or uniforms. If not, they usually make uniforms out of their outfits, they tend to pair the same shirt, with the same jacket with the same shoes, etc. It’s like they have a series of “set” looks. They can also have some clothing pieces, a hair style or something that they ALWAYS wear. This last point can apply to Capricorn risings too.

🗣 Stop the Gemini slander guys, Leo/Aries mercuries are the real professionals when it comes to interrupting and talking over people

☠️ I’ve noticed that Scorpios attract toxicity more than they are toxic

🤝 Your 9th house and your Jupiter is the core of your morals and moral values, they represent what is morally/ethically most important to you

💧 Moon in the 7th house people are known for molding themselves for their partners and that is true, but I’ve also noticed that they do mold their partners too emotionally. They WILL project their feelings into their partners and WILL make their partners feel exactly the way they feel constantly. It’s like their way of handling their own feelings is by managing them through that other person and for that they mold the other person’s feelings into their own or project their feelings into them. They won’t be interested in partners that don’t allow them to do this.

⚡️ People with Venus-Uranus aspects experience a lot of “I never thought I would fall for someone like that” or “never thought someone like that could fall for me” when it comes to lovers. And also friends: “I never thought you’d want to be my friend!” type of vibes

👥 People with the same ASC but different MC really have very different vibes between eachother. I won’t say like completely different but it’s more like they are almost two “types” of that ASC bc of this difference

🎭 People with Scorpio+Leo energy are dramatic AS FUCK. Life’s a tragedy for them. Just imagine Leo energy showcasing Scorpio’s inner intensity. They could really give Sadness from Inside Out a run for her money

Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia

[smallrainclouds]

And part b to part six.

Warning:.some spicness, like kissing and stuff.

🌙💤💤🌙

*Reader's pov*

You were bone tired but pleased with your process. You pushed your hair out your face. Lately you had taken to wearing it down, it was nice not to have to fuss with fixing a bun or the headache that came with it sometimes

You hummed a song as you began collecting the next round of scrolls. You

You heard the door open and your eyes widened, "Hypnos! Here for a second time?"

You waved him in with a smile. He gives a smile in return, "Yeah, I got done early so I decided to stop by to check in."

You noticed there was a tension in his body that you haven't seen before but you decided to hold your tongue for now.

"It's going well. Come on, I got the backroom nearly done. I'll give you a tour."

You motioned to Hypnos to follow you, eager to show off your work. You didn't notice how his eyes stayed on you the whole time.

"So I got the history area set up, and I got it broken down by the time period followed by the area…" you chatted as Hypnos floated behind you. He was mostly quiet except for a quick question here or there.

"And that is it for now." You said, fingers brushing across the wooden shelves.

You looked at Hypnos, candle light was always good to Hypnos. It has taken some time to admit to yourself that You did like the strange handsome look of your husband. Now it was something you couldn't stop thinking about.

"Impressive. Do you enjoy doing this?" He asked.

You tilted your head, not expecting that question. "I do. I like the stories and even the non fiction can help give context to what a story is about."

Hypnos smiled, and damn it, you could feel a blush forming.

"Is this what you would do if you had a choice?"

"I…" You bit your lips, not quite sure what to say. "Maybe. I think I would, but I could be happy doing something else."

"Are you unhappy with your work?" You tried to keep your tone casual. It was already unusual for Hypnos to visit twice in one day and ask questions like these. It was silly but you didn't want to scare him off. Even if he was your husband, he was more like an acquaintance right now.

"That would be putting it mildly." Hypnos shrugged. "Not exactly the type of guy you would want doing paperwork, but that's all I do."

"Why do it then?" You frowned, "I mean being the god of sleep would have to be a full time job on its own."

Hypnos didn't say anything for a few moments, and you feared you may have pushed too much.

"What exactly did your family tell you? About the war, I mean?" Hypnos asked, his voice soft.

You crossed your arms and shifted on your feet. This wasn't what you expected. You still didn't like to think about it. That war had cost so much more problems than it fixed.

"My mother told me some things but not what you did. She did say you were the only reason she didn't lose a war. Which is huge if you know what my mother is like." You locked eyes with Hypnos. You could see the guilt on his face, another thing that surprised you tonight.

"Well, Aphrodite helped some. Even if she didn't realize it." Hypnos matched your gaze.

He grinned a little, and held up two fingers."I…put Zeus to sleep. Twice. I don't think he found out the second time, I was much more careful the second time around."

You gasped at him, "How in the world did you even get close enough to do that?"

This time Hypnos laughed and you tried to ignore the warmth in your body.

"I was a determined and a very stupid child back then. I thought I needed to prove I was worthy of being called a god." Hypnos looked amused at the thought of his younger self. "I saw Zeus had a hard time saying no to a pretty face and gave your mother the idea to trick Zeus by using his own ego against him."

You shook your head with a laugh, "No wonder my mother didn't say much, she probably was mad she didn't think of it first."

"After that, my mother wasn't exactly pleased that I was getting involved with the Olympians so much. She talked Hades into keeping me here until I grew up some. So now I'm here, listing off the dead. I think Mom was trying to show me the cost of that war."

"Oh, it's been so long since that war though. Surely she must have forgiven you by now." You had been a child yourself, just on the cusp of becoming a woman. Those hazy days of youth seem so long ago.

"I suspect if it wasn't for the current war right now, I would probably be out of the house."

A moment of silence then Hypnos floated closer, "Actually, could I confess something? You're probably not going to like me much afterwards though. But I need to tell you."

"Hypnos, I doubt that very much." You watched him stop his floating and stand. You noticed that he could block you from the door, but you felt comfortable enough with Hypnos. And you were sure he wouldn't do anything. Honestly, you weren't sure if you would say no if he did try something.

His face turned serious, "I really hope so."

You frowned at him, "Hypnos, just tell me. I don't like these kinds of games." You couldn't help the nervousness in your voice. If this was some joke…

"I helped your mother for a reason. I… I did it for you." Hypnos said quietly.

You stared, not quite understanding. "But we never even met…"

"No, we have once,Y/N. I don't think you noticed me the other times." Hypnos respond desperately.

You shook your head and took a step backwards, the shelves pressed against your back.

Hypnos grabbed your shoulders, firm but not bruising. He got close enough that you could feel his body heat and you looked away from him. You hated how your heart flip flopped between wanting to push him away and pulling him closer.

"This isn't funny, Hypnos." You snapped at him.

"No, it's not." Hypnos grabbed your chin. "Hey, Y/N look at me. Hey."

You gave in the gentle pressure and allowed Hypnos to pull your face up. You realized you were trembling as you met his light golden eyes.

"You really don't remember me, do you?" He whispered. You shook your head, unable to speak.

"I remember. Each time I saw you. The first time, you didn't see me I think. It was a party, you were dancing with one of your sisters. I was there because I wanted to see what the big deal was about the Olympians."

His thumb brushed your face, a small smile on his. "The second time was when I first tricked Zeus, you were in the hallways and I had to hide so no one would see me. I almost got caught anyway since I couldn't take my eyes away from you."

You couldn't look away, you almost felt like you were in a trance, only able to listen to Hypnos' voice. "The third time… I was in your mother's living room, and I could see you in the garden. I sneaked off so I could get a closer look, and that when I found you trying to listen in. You looked like a painting to me, this beautiful little goddess hidden among flowers. I had to send you off before I could even talk to you."

Your eyes widen, an old memory rushing back.

"The red poppies." You murmured and Hypnos' face lit up.

"She tried to offer me anything. Wealth, boons or strength, anything a young god could want. But… I wanted you. My mother tried to stop it, to save you from my foolishness, but Hera had already swore to the river Styx."

"Hypnos- I - this is too much." You shook your head. You placed your hands on his chest, but you were trembling too much to push him away. Your hand just curled into his tunic, shaking in a mix of anger and stock. And hurt, you thought maybe you could trust him.

"How- I can't even talk to you. My sisters-" you pulled your face away from him. Your voice cracked, "my sisters. My home."

Hypnos used both hands to hold your face as he bent down to look at you. "I know. I shouldn't have kept it from you. I would have thought your family would have told you."

You took a deep breath, "I-i thought you were a friend. I thought you were in the same boat as me. I thought maybe you were helpful in a battle or something and my mother saw a chance for some dumb political move and that Nyx was in on it."

You glared up at him, "I didn't know you traded for me, like -like I was some dumb cattle!" You stepped away from the side, back facing Hypnos; trying to get air into your lungs. You hated the fact the only reason you were able to get away was because Hypnos allowed you.

"First of all, you will not talk about yourself like that." Hypnos' voice went hard but you just scoffed at him, too upset at him.

He got close to you again, tone a little softer "And second, it wasn't like that. I honestly didn't think she would offer her own daughter up. I-"

You whirled around to face him, finger in his face. "You didn't have to take her up on it though!"

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him. His face is a mixture of anger and desperation. He wrapped his arm around your waist and held you flushed against him. You raised your hand to his chest to push off but the fire in his eyes stopped you.

"I knew I would never get another chance to have you, Y/N. By blood and darkness,it was my only chance and I took it! I know what the almighty Olympians really think of us. I know I would never get to see you again if I didn't take up on her offer."

Hypnos lean down, almost close enough to kiss. "I would have done anything for you. I still would."

You tighten your hand on his chest, unable to move away, not wanting to move away. "You barely know me, Hypnos. Why? Why me?"

"Because I do know you, in the way that matters. I see how hard you try to please your family, how you get lost in the words of a story."

You shook your head, unable to deal with emotions that were building up in you. But Hypnos just kept talking.

"I know you have a soft spot for everybody, even the outcasts, how smart you are and how you always try to make sure to help anyone who needs it."

"I- Hypnos." You whispered.

He let go of your wrist to wrap his other arm around you. "Y/N, I don't know everything, not yet. But I would like to. Will you let me?" He asked softly, desperately.

You couldn't speak if you wanted to. You cupped his face and pulled his lips to yours in a chaste kiss.

Hypnos tighten his hold on you. Gently, he pressed a little more into the kiss. You gasped against his lips and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and just tried to hold on.

You didn't know how long or short the kiss went on when both you and Hypnos both took a breath. He pressed his forehead against yours, his golden eyes on your eyes.

"I'm still mad at you." You murmured, fingers caressing his cheek. He smiled, "If this is how good you are when mad, I can't wait to kiss you when you're happy."

"Oh, for goodness sake." You rolled your eyes, not able to hide your smile. Hypnos pressed a kiss against your cheek and then another one, slowly working his way to your neck.

You tugged him back up to face you before he could continue because if you didn't, you were to make some very foolish decisions.

"Can I kiss you again?" Hypnos asked, his hand cupped the back of your head and you nodded as you pulled him down for another one.

Suddenly the doors bang open, "Hey Y/N! I got past- oh." Zagreus' voice halted. You hid your face in Hypnos' chest, wishing for a pit to open up and swallow you whole.

"Zagreus, buddy. Ever heard of knocking?" Hypnos snarled, "Let me help, it when you use your head and-"

"You know what, I will come back later. Much later." Zagreus slammed the door shut.

Then opened it again.

"Congratulations you two!"

And slammed close again.

"I'm going to kill him." Hypnos murmured into your hair.

"Be nice, he is your best friend." You murmured into his chest.

"But he gotten used to dying." Hypnos brushed a kiss against your head. You sighed and looked up at him, "I said no, Hypnos. You said anything for me."

"I did." Hydnos agreed easily. He dipped his head down to met you in another kiss.

"Anything for you, Y/N."

[lightdash]

Now that it’s been a few days, huge spoiler warning under the cut because boy do I have some thoughts about Issue #50.

So ever since the dawn of idw’s run, I’ve had really... conflicting thoughts on how Ian decides to portray Sonic. He’s been writing hedgehog content for a long time now, and I appreciate what the guy does — but self admittedly, he’s rarely picked up and played a Sonic game, and has the most basic knowledge of the earlier titles. All of his current experience comes from three things: 

His time on the Archie comics.

SEGA’s asks and thoughts on what he creates.

Time spent on the cusp of fandom over the years.

... Which like, none of these are inherently bad, but I don’t think they’ve led him down the best path for writing Sonic as a character.

The most recent issue felt like a nail on the head for me, a kind of a-hah moment as to why I struggle to enjoy this portrayal of Sonic so much: he’s trying too hard.

A major selling point of Sonic’s character, for me, has always been his subtlety. Strip him down to the bare essentials and he should still be mostly the same, because what you see is what you get. But it’s in that simplicity that you also get to see what makes him shine — he’s all about slight expressions, doing rather than saying, living in the moment, ect ect.

But in the comics, I feel as if he loses a lot of this charm, and it’s replaced by a weird... arrogance? He’s almost ‘preachy’ at times, constantly telling those around him (not just enemies, but friends too) what the “right” thing to do is. Huge emphasis on second chances all the time, even when valid points are brought to his doorstep. Personal accountability is also a giant struggle, where it feels like he would rather blame those around him for choices he makes than admit he was wrong and... learn from it.

The fight with Surge highlights this issue really well, and it’s this one exchange in specific that does it for me:

This... isn’t Sonic to me. This feels so out of character.

He’s being so needlessly patronizing and righteous here, especially to someone he can visibly see is having a rough go. Fight her, sure — she’s threatening his friends and well.... everything, so he should raise fists. But look down on her, quite literally, with god rays shining down on him, to tell her how morally good he is? Explaining his apparent ideals to her, rather than just... living by them. Since when has Sonic ever needed to do that? (desperately ignoring the meta era, i am looking the other way)

Can you imagine if he did this to Shadow, how weird and different the tone of their interactions would’ve been? Chaos? Erazor Djinn?

Even with a closer example of Merlina: a fight where Sonic does ask what her motive is, he still listens for most of it. He’s observant and hears her out, and when he finally does talk, it’s because he has something meaningful to add. And when it’s questioned why he’s fighting? “I just gotta do what I gotta do, that’s all.”

But here, he’s not only giving a pseudo speech, but he’s practically saying he’ll be kind enough to grant her a second chance, because he’s the good guy. It feels so out of place, especially after he says that he likes to keep it simple? I just can’t see Sonic being the type of character to talk this much in the heat of the moment either... he’s always been the type to show his beliefs through action, not standing on a podium. He lives by example; again, subtlety that we’re missing.

In the name of giving Sonic ‘depth’ that he was apparently missing, I think that Ian has just made him feel... mean. I don’t think that Sonic was ever necessarily missing depth, either; a simple character doesn’t equate a bad one. This shares the same energy of the crowd that begs to see Sonic cry in the games, or any media, when he’s just not that type of character; he’s never needed to show extreme emotion to make an impact.

Also — “the doctors, too?” “Even them.”

This kills me because once again, in the games, Sonic doesn’t try and make peace with Eggman. They may ‘work together’ a few times against a common enemy, sure, but never for a second has Sonic ever stopped and been like hmm, maybe he’s just misunderstood! He understands that Eggman is the bad guy, cut and dry. 

“You and I have our own styles that we won’t change.”

It’s the whole core of their dynamic. But instead, Ian paints a picture in idw where Eggman isn’t... actually evil; it’s just hidden good deep inside that he needs to “come around” to, according to Sonic? Which feels oddly naïve for him. 

Sonic in these comics really does just try and force his so-called principals onto those around him, and it’s awkward to read. Another great example is his fight with Shadow in the earlier issues — a character who is deeply traumatized and has valid concerns about Eggman, concerns that Sonic should respect.

... But what does he do instead? Why, he manipulates Shadow into feeling bad for not trusting Mr.Tinker: “after all, if he can’t be forgiven, can you?” Like... in that moment, he doesn’t care that Shadow is trying to express his worries. Or that he’s very clearly sensitive about his past, and bringing it up so flippantly like that to prove a point is such a dick move. 

None of this is to say that I don’t want Sonic to have character flaws, because I do. I don’t mind the occasional temper, or even arrogance, and mistakes are natural! But I want to see him take accountability and actually learn. I want him to not stand around and tell everyone about his ideals, but live by them. 

This version of Sonic that would rather ignore the warnings of his friends and put more trust into his enemies, all in the name of ‘second chances’ or whatever else just... doesn’t do it for me. I hope that maybe in future issues, Ian can put a different spin on it, because as it stands now... 😓

I want to end this little thing on a positive note though: I really enjoyed how Eggman was handled in this issue. Like a lot. Love seeing him fucking punch Starling into the ground. And the exchange between Kit and Tails? That was really good, too! The art is lovely. I appreciate the time and love they put into idw, and my hedgehog thoughts are no baring on that. 

[blacksunscorpio]

Astro Musings No. 6

Libra Lilith

Makes one have a charm that can be deadly. The type to entice someone effortlessly. They are the types to appear innocent but have a bit of a Machiavellian ace up their sleeves. They can be subtly controlling and hard to resist. If in the 12th House, they can manipulate subconsciously and their prey

the object of their affections might not be able to see what’s going on. This can make this placement even harder to resist than a Lilith in Scorpio Jupiter square Lilith in natally or in synastry will make two people gluttons for sex. Or it will make a native a glutton for sex. Not a bad aspect but just make sure to practice safe sex and wear condoms. Worst that can happen is an STD, pregnancy if you’re not ready for it, or wearing yourself out. Your North Node

Falling into your 7th house makes one’s life direction and goal tied to their relationships. The key in this life is to care for others and be “other” oriented. If it hasn’t appeared in life [yet], you can be sure that it will manifest at some point or another.  This placement calls you to put others' needs before your own. If this happens, the key is to know that in this lifetime, your needs won’t be met until you give selflessly to another.

Advice?

Don’t rescue others. Don’t be a captain save-a-hoe. However, there’s no need to cut others off either. [Scorpios and Taureans with this placement, I know this might be difficult for you ;) ] Empower others. Listen. Help others/the ones you care for discover their own strength.

Asteroid Apollo

In astrology, is where you can take something for granted, and ignore it to your detriment. So if your Apollo is touching your Mercury for example, you can take your mind for granted. However, when you focus on it, you can become a master. in synastry, it can be the aspect that makes one enthralled with another. Kind of like Lilith or Pluto. Remember, Apollo is master of the Sun. The other person can see Apollo as this vibrant light. There can be a Luciferian light almost. Undeniably beautiful [remember the only thing that kept Lucifer from being God is the fact that he was created. Let that sink in.]  Obsessive energy with that planet/point. If harshly aspected there will be imbalance so there’s a constant need for harmony.

If One Half of Your Natal Chart is Empty... This indicates you most likely have a Bowl Chart Pattern. It typically manifests as an individual who is self-contained, has strong core values, and a strong streak of dependability. Most of their energy is within 180 degrees of their chart.

6th House Stelliums

Bring a strong focus on health and work. This house is ruled by Virgo. Indicated that there can be strong obsessive compulsions in the aforementioned subjects. If Mercury is here, this is particularly apparent. If the Sun lives here within a stellium they can be quite self-conscious. They’ll be forever working on how to be “their best selves” but won’t give themselves much grace. This particular configuration creates an excess of energy coming into the activities and affairs of this house. It generates obsessive energy. These people can throw their all into their work. The types to pull long hours and work overtime even if they don’t need the extra cash. If Mars is within said stellium, they’ll be types to binge eat but then work out for 4 hours just to burn off the calories. Trigger warning: I often see those who’ve suffered from Anorexia or Bulimia with this placement. They can have a hard time relaxing. Hypochondriacs live here as well. Advice? Take a break and get away from work and have private time. Mind your health but don’t leave it up to you alone. Seek a licensed professional to aid with recovery if you sense you might have issues that are hard to overcome. On a positive note, these individuals can become very good health gurus or at their best, be the types to excel at work and/or fitness.

Mercury Conjunct Lilith in Synastry

Indicates two people who will be intrigued or turned on by the other's mind. The Lilith person can act like Pluto [but remember synastry can go both ways] and kind of dig into the depths of Mercury’s mind. It may make Mercury feel quite uncomfortable if there are hard aspects. The Lilith person might make Mercury fantasize about some pretty illicit shit. They might obsess over them mentally. On the other hand, Lilith can find Mercury fascinating [especially in harmonious aspect] and will want to know everything about them. They can share very deep secrets with each other. Be careful about mind-games or mental manipulation. If this were to be a Tarot combination I’d see it as the Magician and the 5 of Swords 100%. Pisces Martians hate to fight and will usually be the first person to call for peace when in a quarrel. Libra Mars’ are actually the types to fight for justice and will be feistier than you think. Though Sagittarius and Gemini are Opposites... Their commonalities are their charm. Gemini’s and Sag’s can be among some of the friendliest in the zodiac. If you’re looking for the life of the party, look out for a Solar archer or twin. In addition, both can be rather detached emotionally. Sag’s are always looking outward. Think the 3 of wands in Tarot. They’re expansive. Looking for the next big adventure. Gemini’s are the social butterflies of the Zodiac, so what they’ll seek is a new friend, acquaintance, or new subject to occupy their time with. Both get bored VERY easily. They need massive amounts of mental stimulation to keep them happy. Sag’s mental stimulation has more to do with the higher mind [travel, languages, philosophy, spirituality], while Gemini’s have to do with the lower mind [numbers, words, basic intellect, etc.] Though Pisces and Virgo are Opposites... Their commonalities lie in the fact that both are introverted by nature. As mentioned above, Virgo rules the 6th house which governs work and routine. Virgos can retreat into themselves while they break things down and organize. The same with Pisceans when they get into reverie-mode. When they get into their creative trances. Pisces’ ancient ruler is Jupiter which rules the mind just like Virgo’s Ruler Mercury does. The mutable quality of their signs will allow them to jump from topic to topic, both of them staying interested in the flow and the outcome of their conversations. Sagittarius and Taurus Though fire and earth, both capitalize in the realm of indulgence. Jupiter can rule addictions just as much as Neptune and Pluto can. Venus can be hedonistic by nature as well. Both can have a tendency to overindulge. Both are quite blunt. Sag has 0 filter and Taurus is master of sarcasm and blunt statements. Both are unable to sugarcoat. Remember to be real but a little tact never hurt anyone, lol.  When You Have two signs in one house... It will also depend upon the degree of cusp both the signs make in the house. So, the energy of one sign diminishes slowly and the energy of the next sign rises slowly. For example with Leo and Virgo will play an equal part in the house and the Sun and Mercury will rule equally. If your Midheaven is in Aquarius You find satisfaction in the unordinary. There is a desire to stand out unusually. Ambition can be based in the intellectual realm since Uranus rules this sign. Uranians have the highest forms of analytical intelligence. They can excel in connecting with people. Their reputation can surprise. Many may have heard of the or speak about them. The quintessential individual whose “reputation precedes them”. They may try to shock others on purpose. However, though their public persona can be known for their charitable works they can be very opinionated and stark in their views. When under-developed they may be too stubborn to entertain other modes of thought. It’s the nature of fixed air to never change [fixed] their minds [air]. Traditional vs. non-traditional is a struggle in how they approach the world, others, and the success they wish to achieve.     1st House Venus will wear their heart on their sleeve. If Venus is in Capricorn, they may a bit slower to move in love. Perhaps take a more serious approach to things. If harmonious, it can bless some natives with life partners who may have well-established professions. Other times they show their love outwardly in practical ways. They’ll SHOW you how they love by making sure you feel secure and taken care of financially. They’ll want to leave a legacy for their children with their partner. They’ll want their kids to have generational wealth to past down. I often see this aspect with people who have a suffix in their name. Like John Doe the 3rd or someone who has a father or mother who is a Jr. People with this placement may name their children after a family member. Remember the 1st house is the house of self. If Venus is in Cancer, they may be shy in love or adversely they can be very clingy or possessive to their partner or their partner can depend on them too much-- there may be a “mommy” thing going on.

If you’re looking for “immediate attraction” in synastry...

It’s not Pluto. Surprised? People mistake that love at first sight thing for Plutonic influence, but Pluto is shy by nature. Hades minds his business. His obsession will grow though the longer he studies and spends time getting to know you. That's when he’ll start netting up the web.

Uranus is who hits you with that out of the blue. Uranus/Venus interaspects

Can make people feel that instant attraction from out of nowhere. Asteroid Cupido can inflict this on two people as well. In mythology, Cupid son of Venus; his job was to "wound" the unwary with his arrows of love; awaken a consuming affection directed towards a particular object of desire. In astrology, the asteroid Cupido itself is associated with initial enthrallment and acts of seduction performed in order to obtain the love object, not the sexual act itself. It’s the “look of love.” Examples of an overactive Cupido can include crushes, cultivating romance for the sake of the game, or putting the object of desire up on a pedestal. In the dark sense, romantic enthrallment can originate out of a love for the chase, only to abandon the prey once it is caught. That can happen with love at first sight if there aren’t stable and grounded aspects to lock two people together. Uranus also represents sudden breaks, so there can be on-again-off-again tendencies in relationships like this.

Common placements found in people who are surgeons and physicians are often:

Strong Virgo aspects or earth placements

Mercury rules the hands. Virgo is dissecting and analytical. The 6th house is also about health and service. They love to take things apart and put them back together.

Capricorn

as well is quite grounded so they often have steady hands- something a surgeon needs if they are to stand for 10 hours straight during an open heart procedure.

Plutonians

tend to be quite good with medical/surgeon/mortician occupations. Blood, the raw parts of humanity, death does not scare these people. They like to know how things work from the inside. I also see many Moon-Pluto

people with surgical prowess. This aspect I often see in gynecologists. Last but not least, Strong Mars is not afraid of gore or blood. Mars is often seen in surgeons. Mars is all about blood and broken bones. As a result, those with Mars in Aquarius is often seen in orthopedic surgeons. Mars in Cancer or Mars touching Chiron can be good rehabilitation or out-patient doctors. Physical therapists as well.

Your Elevated Planet at an Anaretic degree

[last degree in a sign] can make one feel like they have to rush to become successful. To reach the pinnacle of their dreams as soon as possible. They may feel like no matter how much success they have it is never enough. There may be constant transformation to this most elevated. The closer to the MC, the more it will display itself in public life. They may build and rebuild their reputation over and over again. Take Robert Downey Jr. whose most elevated planet is Neptune [like most actors]. It is at 29 degrees and we see him go from drug-addled Hollywood bad boy just for that reputation to die [29 degrees] and then be reborn into Sherlock Holmes and our beloved Tony Stark [RIP].

If you find yourself able to adapt to most kinds of music

Check to see if your Mercury [communication] or Venus [what you appreciate] is in a mutable sign, a water sign. Also check to see if your moon is mutable or in a water sign. Jupiter is also the ancient ruler of Pisces and he rules expansion and joy. Music is often considered a source of joy and higher thinking. Strong Jupiterian influence can make someone like different kinds of music. Uranian placements such as Sun/Moon or Venus too, it can also be processed very much by the subconscious, So look for  Strong Neptunian or 12th House influence. Strong Virgo placements too since music is technically a science. Why? Because it can be measured. 

Gemini Moons 

Especially in the 2nd house will feel most secure in an intellectual environment. They may also excel monetarily by using their minds to make money. Writing books or setting up podcasts to get their thoughts [mercury]  and voices [2nd house] out there.

Sugar Babies... Are usually the Venus in a Venus/Saturn situation, the Moon in a Saturn/Moon connections, or the Moon in a Moon/Pluto connection. Lilith in trine aspect to another planet in synastry brings out the best in Lilith... Yes, they can still be intense but you’ll see less of her “demonic” energy and more of her benevolent yet wild seductress aspect. With Venus, she’ll bring out the erotic side between both people. Borderline Hedonism in both people. She’ll make a more austere planet like Saturn open up. Make him comfortable with his depraved side instead of flogging himself like a penitent monk in private over it.

Dangerous Natal Placements Can Be:

Neptune in the 8th [rules drownings, suicides, death by mysterious means]

Gemini 8th House

[Can rule breathing issues]

Aries 8th House

[Rules violent deaths or those who can be prone to violence. Be it dishing it out or receiving it.]

Saturn square Pluto

Can make someone quite cruel.

3 or more malefic aspects to Jupiter is often found in psychopaths.

Jupiter in the chart is where we show the most benevolence. Forgiveness and Kindness. If Jupiter is having a hard time, a person may be emotionally stunted or out of touch with their spiritual side. 

Dominant Nessus

Can make someone an abuser.

Mercury in hard aspect to Uranus or Neptune

can cause mental imbalances or someone who has sudden breaks of the mind. The native will need to take care to make their mental health a priority.

Excessive malefic placements to Mercury

Can make someone a pathological liar or have a difficult time telling the truth. 

Algol in hard aspect to Pluto, Sado, Nessus, Saturn

Can also indicate cruelty but also someone who gets pleasure from it. Yikes.

Underdeveloped Leo placements:

Can make a native only focused on their ego and their ego alone which can make them into quite self-serving and as a result, they can suffer from megalomania. Same with Underdeveloped Arian/Martian placements. Hitler was an Aries and Benito Mussolini was a Leo/Apollonian. I’ll just leave that there.

5th house synastry

Makes two people have fun together. If the moon is there they will know what makes the other person “feel” good. What that person needs to make them laugh.

Your 12th House Planets

Are the Planets that are either hidden or expressed more in secret. The ones that have a harder time expressing or exposing themselves.

A 12th House Leo Planet

may only feel brave when they alone. These are the types to take part in drama or be thespians in school because they are easily able to express themselves when they feel they have the safety net of a mask.

A 12th House Cancerian

Planet will find it harder to express emotion or be a bit shyer.

12th House Plutonian Placements

may be extremely introverted and perhaps find themselves able to express themselves more online/ in secret. They can be good at covert ops or spying. They can even be quite psychic. 

12th House Venus/ Venusian people can find love to feel dreamy or even goes unexpressed. Dreamy romantics. They can be unconditional in love but sometimes they can get carried away with their fantasies OR they can love the fantasy of love more than the reality which may cause them to either project their fantasies on others or never fully commit because no one will ever live up to the fantasy they’ve created in their minds about someone else. Take care to love who you love because of who they are. Don’t force anyone to fit into a mold they’re not made for. Astro Musings No. 1 Astro Musings No. 2  Astro Musings No. 3 Astro Musings No. 4  Astro Musings No. 5 Astro Musings No. 7 Astro Musings No. 8  Astro Musings No. 9  Astro Musings No. 10

[plush-rabbit]

Pining For Tomura Shigaraki

Request: i really liked ur unrequited pining hcs for shigaraki! could i request the opposite where the reader is pining for shigaraki but he’s with someone else? can you make it angst to fluff where they do end up getting together at the end? thank you <3

A/N: I didn’t know how to make it fluffy so I hope this is good enough!!

-

It’s a pain to see Shigaraki with someone else. It’s a different type of hurt that makes you feel like there’s a weight on your chest, something heavy and unforgiving, all the while every breath that you take is something you have to force. You try to be happy for him, involved in the relationship and happiness that he found, but you can’t bring yourself to be around them too often; and even when you are, you catch yourself staring at them with a forlorn look in your eyes, wishing that you would know how it was like to be so close to him. You want to hold him close to you, you want to know what his hands feel like and how his hands will fit into yours. You want to be closer to him,but you can’t and with him in the arms of another, you can only hold a pillow close to you, hoping that when you wake up, your feelings for him would be gone.

Jealousy courses through you- you want him to be happy, but you also want him to be happy with you. It’s like the relationship is only there to mock you. You want to be happy for him and a part of you is, a part that’s forced to show its face whenever he walks away from you to kiss his partner. You have to smile for him and act like you aren’t bothered by the total disregard he has for you. You’ll wave a hand, a smile on your face as you turn away and find somewhere to just collapse.

You don’t hate either of them. There’s no secret hatred that you have for either, but you can’t lie that you wish that the relationship would end- that it would be some sort of facade to make you jealous or that his partner is secretly a horrible person who’s only using him or something of that fashion, but it isn’t that. He likes them, he gushed about them and came to you with an excited smile on his face telling you how he shared his first with them and during that time, you were more than happy to tell him to go back so you could cry in peace. As cliche as it sounds, it was like your heart had shattered and when it reformed, it was like a piece of it was gone, taken and only an empty space left as a painful reminder. They aren’t horrible either, they’re nice enough, smiling at you and even asking for your opinion to get him a gift. That’s the worst part- they aren’t some monster in the disguise of a pretty face.

The term friend will always be there to describe you. You’re just the spare ear that will listen to him, the shoulder to lean on when he’s gotten into an argument with them. As much as it hurts, you deal with it. You don’t want him to think you’re spiteful, you want to be happy so you wear a brave face and let him wander into your room, and rest against you. You try to give him good advice, telling him what you would like to hear if you were in the relationship. It’s almost a mockery on how he lays beside you, his head resting on your shoulder and both of your legs covered by your blanket. In the morning, he’ll leave and when you walk into the shared living place, you’ll see them beside each other, their hand cusps the side of his face, turning him gently towards them as they press their lips against his.

Shouts can be heard in the entire house- muffled but enough for the rest of the League to give nervous glances to each other. The words are harsh, bitter and barely able to be made out but no one bothers to speak over it. You all simply wince, eyes wide and lips pulled thin when a door is slammed and heavy footsteps grow close. Everyone avoids making eye contact by looking down and acting interested with a pair of cards, but curiosity gets the best of you, and you turn to look at the culprit, your eyes locking with his partner. There are tears in their eyes, their lips pulled into a deep frown and brows knitted. They only tell you two words before they close the door, walking away and leaving the door in silence. Jin whispers the words under his breath, hissing and shaking his head at the end of it. “It’s over.”

Silence feels the room, eyes meeting each other until you’re the center of attention. You aren’t close enough to chase after them and try to figure out what happened. You think you should, you know you probably should considering that they were the one who stormed off with tears in their eyes. And given their statement, you could only assume the worst. A part of you actually feels guilty for having a sprinkle of hope from their statement. Your knees feel weak and you can only mumble a half-hearted thing that can’t even be considered a sentence. Eyes are on you, disappearing as you turn a corner and disappear into the hallway. Your knuckles tap against the wooden door and nothing is said to you in response. You plead behind it, asking to be let in, practically begging.

Worry runs off of you in thick fumes, your forehead creased as you’re allowed entry. He lays on his bed, his face hidden in his hands as his hair creates a halo around him. His bed creases under your weight, your hand is held at his elbow, tugging at his elbow gently. His fingers spread, his eyes peeking between the gaps. His eyes are rimmed red, a soft frown on his lips that part as they ask you why you’re here. You bite your tongue, telling him that you heard- or at least can figure out that something bad had happened between the two of them. He groans in response, turning away from you and groaning into his hands.

You’re told the story- a fight happened, it had escalated, and now they’re over. Officially. You hate the butterflies that happen in your stomach when it’s confirmed. You don’t ask what the fight was about, rationalizing that if he wanted you to know, he would have told you. You two are close. You two should be close but in his hurt state, you know better than to push. Silence is between the two of you- one that grieves a lost relationship while the other sits hoping for something to happen. The bed lifts, your hand leaving his body, opting to give him space but his hand catches your wrist, his eyes still focused on the wall opposite of him, a silent plea that begs you to stay beside him. And who are you to leave your friend to wallow in misery by themselves? You sit beside him, his head resting on your lap and your hand petting at his head.

After the break-up, he’s grown quite attached to you. You aren’t sure if it’s because you were there after the break-up, if he’s just lonely, or if it’s a mixture of both. Even though time has passed, your feelings for him haven’t dimmed and knowing that he’s single has actually strengthened them, making you believe that you actually have a chance with him. Friendship is starting to get too painful, knowing that he’s so close, that he’s choosing to spend time with you and smiling at you like it were the times before he had gotten a partner. It makes you sick. You run your hands through your hair, brows furrowed and your stomach twisting causing you pain. It’s rude of you to assume that he would take notice of the turmoil he’s set on you but you wish he would. You wish that he would recognize the feelings that you have for him.

Confessing to Tomura is a horrible decision, one that makes your mouth dry and tears spring to your eyes. You can’t face him and you regret it but it’s been horrible on you to fester with your feelings with him acting so close to you. He stares at you with a blank face, as if he’s unable to comprehend what you just told him. You turn away from him, a frown on your lips, as you bounce in your place. His index and middle finger press under your chin, gesturing for you to look upwards. He tells you that he had felt some attraction to you before he started dating his ex-partner, but hadn’t figured that you had felt the same, and went for someone else. He confesses how afterwards, he was glad that you had been there for him and that it made him appreciate you more and had made him realize just how much he cares for you. While he isn’t one to rush into a relationship, his hand lowering and going to hold your wrist and step closer to you, he does want to be in one for you and with you, his smile tentative and lopsided.

[genshin-impacted]

liquid courage // Kaeya x Reader

Word Count: ~3k

Notes: gender-neutral reader, Kaeya/Reader; cw alcohol, established friendship; friends to lovers (real quick); tons of flirting/bantering (and kissing), PDA, third-person POV of relationship

Summary: And there it is again-- another chance to back away. You wonder how many times there have been close calls like this when the flirting feels all too real and your feelings almost bubble to the surface. Tonight, the two of you are a little tipsy, a little braver, and more reckless-- and you do not back down from Kaeya when he looks like he wants to kiss you.

.

.

Kaeya is an intelligent, well-to-do charming individual and the whole of Mondstadt knows it. As far as the citizens know, he’s the captain of utmost chivalry (especially to the elderly population), and to the Knights, he’s a thinker who, despite his status and position, keeps people at arm’s length.

Except for you.

For most of the people in Mondstadt, they take a look at you and Kaeya and there is no doubt you are the closest of friends. When you buy dinner at The Good Hunters, you always order skewers for Kaeya, and when you are late for your nightly drinking, Kaeya subtly slides his drink to the side to save a seat for you. In both daylight and nighttime, the two of you exchange words in a fast-paced banter that makes it easy for either of you to get along. Or so the common folk assume; they certainly do not converse with Kaeya the way you do, which has always, in some way or another, included some back-and-forth-- some more flirty than others.

"The bed was lonely without you," Kaeya croons when you finally get back from a week-long journey. You choke on your spit when he gives you his best sultry stare. Before, this statement would have turned heads, but the Knights and citizens of Mondstadt are far too used to hearing these snippets of your conversation-- not that it makes it any less interesting to listen to. (And if people take notes on the flirty comments for future use, that is neither here nor there.)

"The feeling is mutual," you coo, recovering quickly as you grasp your hands in prayer. "I spent every night looking at the stars and thinking how much they reminded me of your eyes."

"Oho, thinking of me before you sleep, huh?"

"Every night--"

God forbid a child hears the two of you, but for the most part, you keep it friendly. A jab here-- “I didn’t know you were such a… slacker”-- a flirty remark here-- “Kaeya, just who are you trying to show off to with that outfit”-- whatever makes the other's lips upturn and whatever comes to mind first almost like a battle of wits. However facetious your comments are to each other, the people do not question your friendship for the times you bump shoulders after coming home from an expedition in varying levels of wear and tear with a grin on your faces.

(“I’m just glad Kaeya has someone to look after him,” Jean answers when someone asks about the two of you. She pauses and sighs. “...And the other way around.”)

For whatever reason, no one has ever taken your flirty remarks to each other seriously despite how long they’ve been going for. Nothing has made them question your friendship for how long it has stood or how real the flirty remarks are (if they ever have been in the first place).

The problem with joking about something or doing something ironically is that oftentimes it ends up being quite real.

"Sir Kaeya," you say dramatically one day when Kaeya comes back from an expedition that takes twice as long. You place your hand over your heart, ignoring the way it beats rapidly at the sight of him safe and sound. "Oh, how I have missed you."

"And I, too, my dear heart," Kaeya replies back without a beat in between. And it seems you cannot hide the relief on your face because he drops his flirty grin to settle into a soft smile. "Worried about me?"

Without a flirty remark to hide behind, you can only nod.

(If not for the fact that sometimes you actually feel your face warm from Kaeya’s comments or praises-- and more so when they are actually genuine-- you would have been otherwise ignorant to your own growing feelings for a certain cavalry captain.)

Kaeya always ruffles your hair then, even if you squawk at him and jab at his non-injured side, and those feelings are placed in the back burner to brew later.

The tender moments come and go, and neither of you is the type to sit in it, for how easy it is to clear the air and go back to bantering. You don't mind either way if you were honest. You're the only one who Kaeya shamelessly flirts with and you're the only one privy to the thoughts he holds (especially when drunk). You hold a special position as his friend and he has a special place in your heart as well.

You would be lying to say that everything between the two of you was platonic, not when sometimes you catch yourself staring at Kaeya when he's not looking or wondering briefly what his hair would feel like through your fingers. (You attempt to run your hands through it once but he's much too quick and tall for you to catch him unawares, and now it has become a game that usually ends up with your hair looking like a nest gone wrong.) The thoughts come and go, and you are content with being Kaeya’s friend, for now.

"Another, please!" You wave your hand in the air as you grin, Diona huffing even as she provides two new drinks for you to bring back to your table. "Thank you," you sing, walking with a sort of sway that makes you spill some of the drink on your hands. You're buzzed, that much is certain; you lick at your hand to save what you can before you slam the drinks down in front of Kaeya.

"Bottoms up," you cheer, clinking glasses with Kaeya who laughs a little more freely now that he has a few drinks in him.

"Are you sure you can handle any more?" Kaeya asks, swirling his drink with an amused smile. "No use in pushing yourself. If you're trying to drink as much as Rosaria, you might as well stop now."

"Friends that drink together stay together-- or however that phrase is supposed to go," you say, waving your hand flippantly as Kaeya snorts in his drink. "Something, something, I can drink more. Trust."

"Stop," Kaeya laughs, putting down his drink and throwing his head back. You grin up at him when he throws his arm over your shoulder. "You didn't even give me a real reason."

"You didn't give me a reason when I caught you day drinking the other day," you retort playfully, and Kaeya snickers again, putting his hands in the air.

"What, can't a guy enjoy a Death After Noon... after noon?"

"You're terrible."

"I'm terrific."

You're warm from the drink pouring down your throat and the arm comfortably hooked around your shoulder. If Kaeya notices you lean into him more, he does not say a word, but you joke again, not straying an inch from his side as though you're addicted to his warmth. And aren't you, in a way? With how you keep coming back to the thought that your best friend is one of the most attractive men in Mondstadt, that his eyelashes are unfairly long, and that sometimes you wish you could kiss his eyepatch-- just to see if you can fluster him like he always does to you with you.

Ah, you think, feeling the heady pull of intoxication, there are those thoughts again.

You laugh lightly at something he says under his breath about one of the other customers in Cat's Tail and take the moment to push the thoughts away when Kaeya suddenly cups your face. You would complain about the way he maneuvers your face to his pleasure, turning your head this way and that, but you laugh instead, inwardly pleased by the attention.

"What is it?"

"Lipgloss," he says, and you blame the alcohol for dulling your senses when you only stare blankly at him, wondering if you accidentally missed a piece of the conversation. He snorts when he sees the evident confusion and explains, "Lipgloss-- are you wearing them right now?"

"No?" You ask back, laughing as you shyly swat his hands away to no avail, "I don't think so?" When Kaeya only hums, you reply back almost instinctively, spurred on by your thoughts and-- well, your remarks have always been on the cusp of being real. You press your lips together as your heart races. "Why, they look kissable?"

"Very," he says teasingly, and you smile widely at him as though the two of you were not in an intimate position.

There's always a way out, you realize, at every step of the way-- to deescalate, to redirect the conversation, and treat it as a joke. You could have changed the subject and talked about how dry the weather has been; Kaeya could have replied back as sultry as ever and dropped his hands from your face.

But he doesn't.

Instead, his thumb surreptitiously brushes over your bottom lip, and you look up at him and wonder what your eyes look like to him at the moment.

It would be easy to playfully push him away and call him a flirt. But you don't.

You meet his eyes and say, "Why don't you find out for yourself?"

There is a pause, then-- "Alright." And you can feel Kaeya close the distance between the two of you, his free hand wrapped around the arm you placed onto the table. Your breath hitches when Kaeya stops with his lips an inch from yours and looks at you searchingly.

And there it is again-- another chance to back away. You wonder how many times there have been close calls like this when the flirting feels all too real and your feelings almost bubble to the surface. Tonight, the two of you are a little tipsy, a little braver, and more reckless-- and you do not back down from Kaeya when he looks like he wants to kiss you.

Your eyes flutter closed, and that is the last thing Kaeya needs to close the distance completely.

It is a kiss that is all too chaste-- something that, when people think of Kaeya, is not what they would associate him with. But this is a Kaeya you're familiar with, have seen a glimpse of-- and you are warm everywhere when Kaeya gently slides his lips over yours and tilts his head to fit with you better. Everything is hazy, and you think it's the alcohol, but you're hyper-aware of the softness of his lips on yours, the way your hand reaches out to hold onto the front of his shirt, and the way he holds you so tenderly.

You think you can kiss him forever.

(Neither of you takes note, but the bar has quieted down considerably as the table next to you stares, gaping as the two of you kiss. And with their heads turned, others turn with them as the two of you inadvertently pull the rug from under all of them. The two of you are dating? Since when? Was the flirting never just a joke? What was happening?!

I need a drink, someone says, and the rest of them nod in agreement, much to Diona’s dismay.)

Kaeya is the one that pulls away first, laughing under his breath. “Are you even breathing?” He asks you teasingly, his hand still cupping your face. “I know I take your breath away, but you can’t faint on me.”

You snort, your hand raising up to cover your smile. “Sorry,” you drawl, watching as his hand falls to your thigh. “You were just so breathtaking I forgot how to do anything.”

“Well,” Kaeya says, his voice low enough to be a purr. “You sure knew how to kiss, though.”

You laugh, waving your hand flippantly. “Why, thank you,” you simper, doing a mock-bow. “Same to you. Excellent skills, Sir Kaeya; my heart skipped a few beats there.”

Kaeya lets out another laugh as you pick up your drink and smile into it. And like that, you two are where you first started-- almost.

The two of you talk about whatever comes to mind, bantering ever so often. But for the rest of the night, Kaeya’s hand stays on your wrist, his thumb rubbing over your hand absently, and you catch yourself staring down at his lips as he talks. If you end up in his space again, you stay a little longer, even as you start to sober up and feel your eyes grow heavy.

“Aw, is it your bedtime?” You hear Kaeya say from the temporary darkness you placed yourself in as you bury your face into your arms on the table.

“Shut up, Kaeya.” You snicker, swatting away his hands when they poke at your cheek. “It’s been a long day.”

“Well, I suppose I’ll just have to walk you home now, don’t I?”

This time you are the one looking up at him searchingly, watching for signs of whether he’s joking or not. Your eyes stop at his lips and you turn your head into your arms again. “...Sure,” you say. “Thanks.”

You aren’t sure if you can ever flirt with Kaeya in the same way again, with how your heart skips at the thought of him, but you will manage if that’s what you have to do. You push your stool under the table and throw Kaeya a smile when he opens the door for you to exit first. (You don’t know why Diona glares at the two of you when you wave goodbye, but judging by the cat-nipped smile on Kaeya’s face, you can probably ask him later.)

You’re surprised from your thoughts when you feel a weight on your shoulders, and when your hands reach up to touch it, you feel fur wrapped around your neck. It smells like Kaeya.

“You looked cold,” Kaeya says when you look at his cardigan wrapped around you before glancing back at him. He does not let you provide a response when he starts walking ahead of you. When you make a noise of displeasure, running to catch up to him, he laughs, quietly slowing down his pace until the two of you are walking synchronously.

For once, the two of you are silent.

Every so often your hands brush over his, and your thoughts are loud when they tell you how much you want to hold his hand. You think you will dream of that kiss you shared with him tonight, and then tomorrow the day will begin as normal, teetering on the edge of platonic and romantic. The more you think about the less fine you feel about leaving everything as it is. You don’t want to overcomplicate things but there are so many questions that you want to be answered. Did that kiss mean anything? Does Kaeya have feelings for you? Does he know you like him?

The walk to your home is much too quick this time around, and you are already shedding the cardigan Kaeya has given you as the two of you reach your doorstep. Wordlessly, Kaeya takes back his jacket and you open your mouth without anything to say.

Of all the time for you to be speechless in front of your best friend, it had to be now.

“Kaeya--”

“Good night then,” he says, a second faster than you. With the moon behind him, it’s hard to see his face, but you can imagine how his lips quirk up into a soft smile with how he speaks to you-- and your heart tightens. “Be sure to drink some more water. Can’t have you waking up with a hangover now, can we?”    

You nod, lowering your head. “Yeah,” you say. “Same to you.”

The silence is deafening.

Without another word, you hear Kaeya’s boots shift the gravel underneath his feet, and though there is no more liquid courage coursing through your veins, you tell yourself to be reckless anyways. Your relationship will survive, you tell yourself. Whatever happens, Kaeya will be important to you.

You call out his name.

When he turns around, you ask him to kiss you again.

It’s hard to imagine what sort of expression he has on his face when you’re in uncharted territory, and the slow response has you sweating bullets. But then you hear a quiet “Alright,” and Kaeya is in front of you, putting his hands onto the wall behind you.

You are ready when he dips his head down to kiss you again.

It is just as good as it was the first time.

You wrap your arms around him, a hand buried into his head (finally!) and another clasped behind his neck as he pulls you closer to him with a hand on your waist. Those with Cryo Visions run cold but Kaeya’s lips are nothing but warm as they nip at you and press onto yours over and over again. You bite back a pleasant gasp when you allow him entry, his tongue sliding across yours that has you hazy.

You break away first, and you note vaguely that you are not the only one breathing heavily.

“On a scale from one to ten,” Kaeya says, holding you close to him with a grin, “would you say that was better than what we did in the tavern?”

You roll your eyes even though your face warms at the comment. “Bold of you to assume I would kiss and tell.”

“I do well with constructive feedback, you know,” he quips, making you laugh. “What? Are you saying I don’t?”

“No,” you say, breathless from the kiss and from the elation that everything was okay. “No, I’m just thinking how I would write an evaluation for you with strengths, weaknesses, and improvements--”

Kaeya kisses you again and you forget what you wanted to say.

“...Is this all I have to do to win an argument against you?” He says teasingly, and you headbutt into his chest, much to his amusement.

“It’ll stop working eventually,” you say, settling your hands behind his back as you rest your face onto him. He hums as he holds you close, and you look up at him again and grin. “Guess you’ll have to see how many times it’ll work though.”

And Kaeya laughs into the kiss as you pull him down for another one.

[virghogh]

Guessing NCT's rising signs: Huang Renjun as a Cancer rising

Welcome to my first post where I write all about why I think this idol is X rising sign! I don't know how many of these I'll do because it heavily depends on how confident I feel in my guess of their rising lol for Renjun's rising sign, it's something I've been sitting on for a loooong time just to see if anything else comes into my head. At the end of the day we really have no way to know for sure, even if the idols gives us their birth time it still has to be taken with a grain of salt! But it’s still fun theorize and to test your skills while learning at the same time. So for now I feel pretty confident sharing my thoughts on Renjun as a cancer rising.

Let’s ✨explore✨ why:

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧long post! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✦ Before I even decided to look up his chart layout, there were 2 characteristics of Renjun that initially led me to think he’s a Cancer rising. His eyes and his physique. His eyes aren’t necessarily as big as idols we’ve seen with moon in 1st, but they’re still very notable features of his physical appearance that he’s very well known for. They’re bigger, soft and dreamy, and sometimes look like he quite literally holds stars in his eyes. The biggest physical feature though is his, well, petite frame. Next to his eyes, renjun is also really well know for his smaller build. It’s even a well known inside joke amongst NCT, they all him “big shoulders renjun” (lol) because “for a guy” his shoulders a on the smaller side. Both of these physical attributes can also be identifying characteristics of cancer risings.

✦ So, in general I think he is a Cancer rising. But if we want to be more specific; I do think he is a 3rd decan Cancer rising which is the Pisces/Neptune ruled decan. I initially chose this because his house and planet placements just make so much more sense to me when the rising is in the 3rd decan (I'll get into that below), but after reading about the 3rd decan I also think it fits his personality really well! With the Neptune and Pisces influence, he's more on the open side of Cancer rising but more notably, 3rd decans are a lot more inclined to art/creativity and sometimes, music specifically. These people also have a very dreamy attraction about them. He also has his Venus trine ASC which can further add to this kind of creative vibe he gives off, but is also drawn to! It emphasizes the importance of aesthetics, art and creativity in his life. If you've never been on Renjun stan twt then you might not know that a lot of his fans see him as this incredibly dreamy and ethereal boy (as they should) and I can see why!

*:･ﾟ✧house and planet placements *:･ﾟ✧

Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Pluto in 5th:

✦ yea... just yes. Okay but actually, if you read my NCT Dream Hexaco x Birth Chart analyses, I talked a lot about his chart already because I really like it. As someone with a Scorpio moon, I can't help but be really interested in how his plays out. And I have to say, I am quite attached to this theory because I think his scorpio moon in 5th just. makes. sense. I'm not going to go much into the descriptions of the placements, I'm mostly going to stick to the house influence. We know that Scorpio moons have really intense emotions, they internalize everything and are just highly sensitive people to their environments. Renjun has been incredibly open about his mental and emotional struggles ever since being a kid. I've honestly never heard an idol talk about their struggle like he has. He even opened up recently about how a few years ago he had an art therapist that really helped him and lowkey changed his life. I feel like a lot of this can be reflected in his 5th house. The house of creativity, expression, creation. His 5th cusp is also in Scorpio. 5th house in water tend to be really drawn to arts and music. Having a Scorpio moon, a moon sign that can be quite guarded, in a fire house can also explain his readiness/openness to share his emotions and art. Also let's not forget his chart ruler is his Scorpio moon in 5th! What I've wrote above are big themes in his life, which we've seen.

✦ As for the Pluto in 5th. Because his 5th house is in Scorpio this would mean the 5th ruler is in 5th. I know it might not make sense at first because it's pluto and pluto is misunderstood. But it makes perfect sense to me. Pluto in 5th is a deeply passionate and creative placement. It bring so much energy to this house, and can even create a borderline obsession with themes of this house. With creating and expressing. But I could also see having this and his scorpio moon in this house bringing so much energy, it just kind of adds to the confusion and intensity of a scorpio moons emotions and processing abilities, like, emotionally overwhelming. Scorpio moons always need an outlet and they usually figure that out the hard way at some point in life. The outlet can vary based off the chart, his is without a doubt connected to his art; whatever that may be to him.

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Aquarius Uranus in 8th:

✦ This part is brief because it's more of like, additional details to what's already in his chart. Something that is really well known about Renjun too is how much he is into space and aliens and stuff like that. He, once again, has been very open about it lol on variety shows I've seen him light up every time its briefly mentioned and he'll comment on how much he finds that stuff interesting. The 8th house is weird, it can manifest in a lot of different ways. The biggest point here for me is that the house is in Aquarius with Uranus here. I know someone with this placement too and, while they're open minded to astrology and tarot etc. it's a bit more focused on logic. I can't say for sure because I don't know him, but he kind of strikes me as the kind of person that would fight to death over aliens existing, but draws the line at astrology lol. I actually do think he would be open to astrology and tarot, but he'd need the right introduction to it. Anyways, yea this placement to me explains a lot of his interest in space and things we don't understand. He's expressed his curiosity in it. I think a lot of this is coming from his Scorpio moon and Pisces mercury/venus which is why I think it's just additional support.

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Pisces Mercury/Venus in 9th:

✦ THIS HOUSE right here... so much to say. Firstly, Pisces in 9th is probably one of the main culprits for his creativity, deep thinking and curiosity in the world. And more importantly: his imagination. I've mentioned this a lot when I talk about renjun but, he's very well known for his creativity, but I want to make it clear that there is a distinction between creation and imagination. His imagination is truly... on another level. Well, planet actually since it's pisces! Again, amongst fans it's really well known his imagination is just so unqiue. This is less about the 9th house and more about the fact that he has 2 pisces placements but it still affects it lol. He's very open about his imagination and speaks about it so naturally. He shared his drawing of a bird, hybrid, thing? and how it's an animal that steals your dreams in your sleep. Anyways, Pisces in 9th aren't necessarily the travelers we'd see with an air or fire sign here, but they like to travel mentally. He's also talked about how he's just in general a very curious person and you can tell his thoughts probably travel far and wide in his down time.

✦ What's really interesting to me about this house is his mercury is here and Mercury in 9th is a very specific kind of placement. It almost always guarantees an interest and talent in learning languages. I don't know if languages are necessarily a passion for him but he definitely is interested and cares about learning language and other cultures. He also did pick up on Korean and English with ease. Which also reminds me that, he actually was exposed to Korean at a young age because I'm pretty sure he went to a bilingual school (chinese and korean). This is also a big deal to me because planets in 9th, especially sun/mercury often indicate very early exposure to languages or other cultures... so yea that checks out. This can also be proved by looking at his IC in Virgo, which puts the ruler in 9th. His mercury is also sextile Jupiter. I also wanna comment that he has his Mercury in the 5th degree, I'm not great at degree theory yet but that feels significant to me. Of course we cannot forget his absolutely angelic voice. Renjun is also very well known for his stunning vocals. Not only are Pisces placements musically inclined but Pisces mercury are known for their sweet voices.

✦ As for the venus is 9th, I feel like I have more to say on his venus being in Pisces because that's where so much of his artistic creativity and imagination come from. But venus here adds to a lot of what I've written above, adding to his curiosity of the world. What I find most interesting about venus in 9th though, is it brings another inclination to art! He might really like art from different places in the world, or just exploring all types of art being very open minded to its different forms etc. Venus here also brings ease to language learning, and these people will naturally have other cultures and people from them as a big part of their life. I feel like, in general it's not surprising at all to me that as a foreign member (being from China), that he would have 9th house influence! It can often manifest as like.., travel, other languages, cultures and parts of the world etc. are just very naturally a part of their life. Some people never really contemplate life overseas or in another country. But for 9th housers, it's never not been an option. His 9th house influence can also make him a great teacher, mentor and just overall supportive person. We've seen some of this in the content he's made with NCT. Like trying to teach his members chinese with Chenle, except he was taking it way more seriously lol but was so supportive. He's also tried to get Jeno and Jisung involved in his art making, but keeping the process very open and fun.

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Aries sun, Taurus mars in 10th:

✦ This is the last part I'm going to cover because it is really just the icing on the cake to finish this up. The 10th house is considered pretty important when looking at celebrities/idols because it's very likely a lot of what we see from them is their 10th house influence. In the chart model I'm using for Renjun, it puts his MC in the very last degrees of Pisces, so there's a chance it's in Aries but either way with his sun and mars here they are still playing a big role. So for that reason, I'm opting for Pisces MC. I also think Pisces MC fits though because first it puts the ruler in his 7th house. Meaning he could really benefit and work well in something that involves a group! Because it's Pisces in Neptune, it also adds to his very ethereal vibe and how people just seem to love him wherever he goes. He's very magnetic and can come off as artistic and sensitive. He's known for being dreamy, unreal, artistic, sensitive.

✦ Again, we know he has an aries sun and taurus mars so I'm not going to explain them here, just how they affect the house, but having his these here makes so much sense to me too. Having planets in 10th also influences what kind of "vibe" people get from you, and what you're "known" for. Mars and Sun bring similar energy of being well known for for energy, drive, and even stage presence. Not being afraid to be on stage, being good with attention and spotlight. He's known for his kind of playful and childish behavior at times. He is charismatic, bold, brave, happy and upbeat. With the sun, he is again known for his creativity and creations and also self-expression.

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Thank you to anyone who read all this. I don't really expect many people to because I'm mostly writing this for my own curiosity and to finally just put this theory out there! Anyways, stan Renjun best boy <33

Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3

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[msperfectsheep-posts]

Breathe - Persona 2 Eternal Punishment

Lemme just start off by saying this was not supposed to be late, but travelling during the holiday season is an absolute bitch and delayed me by quite a bit. This is the first bit out of I think 3, maybe 4, that I’ll release over time. I hope you enjoy what’s to come, @kittyboyrobin and @maskedcirclehr 

Now, for the fic!

Despite the comfort their company provided, Tatsuya had always felt that being with his friends was some sort of rebellion against the fabric of the universe itself. 

Eikichi, formerly known as the local gang leader from Cuss High, was a friendly man who had just wanted Tatsuya to join his band, and was not anything like the rumors made him out to be at all. Lisa, one of the more popular girls from his school, claimed that she had always been naturally attracted to Tatsuya, but now couldn’t figure if it had been love or simply intrigue that kept her gaze on him. He didn’t care, really, not when she provided good company and offered good advice on emotional situations where he was all but inept. 

And then there was Jun. Jun Kashihara, a sensitive boy from Cuss High who had also had his sights set on Tatsuya for who knows how long. But unlike with Lisa, who had finally worked up the courage to speak to Tatsuya on a rather sticky spring afternoon, it was Tatsuya who came to Jun after Eikichi accidentally outed his classmate’s apparent crush. They had talked, sitting under the plum blossoms as confused and hidden feelings unraveled and reworked themselves, like knots in a string being undone. 

There was something about him, something magical, with the way his brown eyes sparkled when Tatsuya talked about the flowers and the curve of his shy smile  and the curl of his hair, that made Tatsuya’s heart beat louder than a drum, and he was shocked to learn that he was the only one who had heard it.

Still, despite the unnerving feeling Tatsuya felt whenever he was with Jun, he kept returning for more talks, more afternoon strolls through the city, and before he knew it, Eikichi and Lisa were joining along. 

It was a sweet, tight friendship, filled with petty arguments between Eikichi and Lisa that got nowhere, awkward glances whenever they were at any of their parent’s houses, and laughter that was so raucous that one time, a random bypasser yelled at them to shut up. They hadn’t, and only laughed louder. Days of knowing each other turned to weeks, which turned to months, which even eventually left them on the cusp of a full year knowing each other. They’d done nearly everything under the sun together, as graduation was coming soon, and it was a well-known fact and joke among the group that the minute school was done, Tatsuya would shoot off into the sunset on his motorcycle to who knows where.

But there was still one thing, one very big thing, that Tatsuya had yet to do before the year came to a close. 

“Tatsuya! Wake up!” 

That. 

He had already been up for ages, but laying in bed apparently didn’t count to Katsuya. Katsuya was the type of early riser who was only a morning person because they couldn’t stay up past 9 pm without enough caffeine to give a horse a heart attack, but that didn’t stop him from being a chipper bastard that set Tatsuya in a bad mood almost instantly with his humming and “Hug the Cook” apron. 

Tatsuya grumbled something so unintelligible that not even he knew what he’d been trying to say, rolled out of bed, and walked into the apartment kitchen with a loud yawn. Katsuya was already in his suit, but that damn apron was out and there was a restaurant-level rolled omelet sitting on Tatsuya’s plate, still steaming. Katsuya’s plate was already put away in the drying rack, but the asshole was sitting at the table with a half-empty mug of coffee and open newspaper like he had yet to start eating, and Tatsuya wasn’t late by his standards. 

“Good morning. Do you have any plans for today, or do you want to swing by the station and help me with some alphabetizing? Miss Uchida dropped off a lot of evidence for the incident that happened at 22nd and Maple that suggests that it wasn’t manslaughter, but first degree murder, and I need to get it organized before—”

“—I’ve got plans.” Tatsuya cut him off before Katsuya could get any further. 

If Tatsuya would let him, Katsuya would talk the whole morning about some stupid case that had absolutely no relevance to anything but work. He partially regretted asking Katsuya to help him become a detective, because these talks only became more and more common as Katsuya tried to prepare him for the future, but at least it was kinda cool hearing about this stuff that would never make it to the papers or streets. 

Katsuya nodded, like he hadn’t been interrupted, and continued on. “So be it. Then, as you know, I’ll probably be late tonight. There’s already some frozen stew in the freezer for you, so remember to just heat it up slowly over the stove and you’ll be golden. Oh, and Mr. Tamaguchi will be coming over at 7 pm to return our watering can. Make sure to offer him at least a few shortbread cookies when he does. He prefers the checkerboard ones, but swirls are also acceptable.”

“Fine.” He would do it, because Mr. Tamaguchi was a nice old man who occasionally helped Tatsuya with fixing his bike whenever it was particularly troublesome. Not because Katsuya told him to. “Why’d he even need the watering can in the first place. Actually, better question, why do we have a watering can? The only houseplant we have is your sad looking lucky bamboo.”

Katsuya finished his coffee, neatly folded his newspaper, and stood. “I bought it at a yard sale for 300 yen, and he needed it for his granddaughter. Apparently she loves it and likes to use it to pretend to pour water on his head whenever she’s here.” 

Tatsuya couldn’t think of anything to say, because that kid was cute and he’d totally lend his watering can too if he had one, but also because he would never let Katsuya have the satisfaction of knowing that he’d made the right move. 

So instead, he changed topics, and went straight for the thing he’d been procrastinating talking about for weeks. There was only so much time left before his friends came over this weekend, and experience said that it was best to give Katsuya forewarning. 

“So, uh, are we doing anything this Saturday?”

Katsuya looked over at Tatsuya, from behind his tinted glasses. “Not that I know of. Why?”

Here it was. He’d tried to find an opening a few times this week already, but always had some sort of excuse to back out. Not this time. 

“My friends would like to meet you.” He mumbled, shoving half of his omelet in his mouth immediately after speaking. It was a little cold, but still unbearably good quality for having been made in this hovel. Well, hovel was a strong word when Katsuya literally kept the place spotless, but it was an apartment on a shitty side of town that his brother had happened to spruce up. Everything Katsuya touched managed to become better than what it was, except for him.

Katsuya stared at him, and Tatsuya looked away. 

“Your friends?” He asked softly, as if he could hardly believe it. In truth, neither could Tatsuya. He had been sure that he was going to get through high school alone, but here he was.

He swallowed. “Yeah.”  

Katsuya beamed, and visibly resisted the urge to give Tatsuya a hug. He was proud, for whatever reason, because Katsuya’s smile always looked different when he was proud of Tatsuya, and definitely trying his best to not make Tatsuya feel overwhelmed, even though he definitely was. “Of course they can. Do you know when they plan to be here?” 

“We haven’t made plans yet, but uh, probably noon or something. Jun likes to sleep in, and Lisa’s got voice lessons, and Eikichi…actually Eikichi’s pretty open in the mornings, but the other two aren’t. So…yeah.” He poked the remaining omelet with his chopsticks, refusing to make eye contact, because he was sure that he would regret telling Katsuya even more if he did. 

Katsuya was silent for a moment, which meant he was probably nodding and thinking to himself, but he responded soon enough. “Noon would be good…yes, I think that would be perfect. Are there any allergies or preferences I should know?”

“No sushi. That’s it.” Tatsuya sighed. If he let Katsuya have his way, he’d be stuck here forever answering questions. “I’ll confirm the times with them today.”

He got a gentle pat on the head, which was the closest thing to physical comfort Tatsuya allowed without retaliation, and was handed his lunch, decorated with a cat caricature of Katsuya in permanent marker saying “Have a nice day!”. “Then you should get going. Don’t want to be late to school.”

“Yeah.” Tatsuya took the lunch, gave Katsuya a nod, and left, heart racing faster than ever before.

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Scream Therapy

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x gender neutral!reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: extremely vague allusions to mental illness, metaphors about wounds, angst with a relieving ending, let me know if i’ve missed something

AO3 mirror

So you know those tiktoks where people go out into the woods and scream? Just like expel all the shit that’s been holding them down into an open field and let the earth reclaim all their dark, restless energy? Reveal the burdens that have been creaking in their joints and trapped in the prison of their ribs for the trees to swallow?

I’ve been thinking about that and Shigaraki a lot. 

Like the rest of the league too, but mostly Shigs. 

Just imagine: 

It’s late, it always is when shit is going down at the hideout. The League of Villains is practically nocturnal at this point. Shigaraki’s mind is a loud place—lot’s of rabid, train tearing down the track lines of thought that clatter and roar and gush toxic coal smoke.

So as annoyed as he makes himself out to be, he doesn’t actually mind the din of the bar all that much. Twice and Toga chattering in the corner, random bits of too loud laughter and the clink of Kurogiri polishing glasses as he tells off Dabi for the umpteenth time about smoking inside—hell, even Compress rambling about the health benefits of high quality wine to nobody in particular is somewhat...comforting?

That’s not quite the right word, but their noise settles around him a bit like a thick quilt and dampens the rampage inside his head for a while.

He thinks about a lot of things.

Some good, most bad, all obsessive. He’ll get stuck in these loops sometimes, small questions evolve into bigger, more complicated webs, and suddenly it’s been four hours and he’s done nothing but stare at the same spot on the wall just left of his desktop monitor.

Sleep is a terrifying venture for much the same reason. Once he gets caught in that cycling it’s so hard to break out, and that’s when he’ll stumble down the stairs and sequester himself away at the end of the bar.

There he will sit and listen to the incessant white noise of his team—which is frustrating too but infinitely better than whatever anxiety coated sludge his brain will come up with if left to its own devices, so he bears it.

And then there’s you.

Who you are isn’t entirely important.

Maybe you’re just another member of the League, dedicated to helping your boss spread villainy across the city. Maybe you’re a morally ambiguous civilian who just stumbled in much like a stray cat into a depressed college student’s apartment and simply never left.

Whatever the circumstances, where you came from doesn’t matter.

To him, your contributions to the din are just another layer of insulation against the storm. He couldn’t really care less what you do, or where you go when you weren’t there. As long as your voice could offer a different type of grating against his ears than the silent throbbing of his head when he is alone, then your presence is justified.

Shigaraki only takes notice of you when you leave, when your voice is no longer adding to the uproar drowning out whatever new thought spiral he was trying to claw his way out of.

It’s very late then. That odd, in between time when it’s closer to the sunrise than to it’s setting but somehow also the darkest portion of the night. Of course, it’s never totally dark—not with all the light pollution laying an ever present, glowing haze across the horizon—but it’s as close as it gets out here to pitch black.

He catches the tail end of your coat, a glimpse of your shoe soles as you slip up the stairs and climb the wrought iron ladder that leads to the roof. Shigaraki often catches himself wondering how you figured out exactly how to avoid each board that creaked. He thinks sometimes it’s because you like going unnoticed, that too much attention makes you feel just as shaky as he gets when he’s been inside his head too long. Or possibly you just don’t want to wake anyone up in the rare moments that some League members are actually asleep.

Regardless, he watches you go and feels strangely...compelled to follow and because he rarely feels compelled to do anything unless it’s furthering the downfall of hero society, he does.

He takes an unsteady step, then another until the brisk, cusp-of-summer air is washing over him. It bites through his thin black top and the worn holes in his jeans, but the sting feel likes something.

And since he almost always feels nothing at all, it’s good.

You’re stood a few feet from the edge of the building, where the ledge has begun to crumble away from age and poor maintenance. The wind is strong enough that it makes your limp arms sway by your sides. Shigaraki is so thin now, he’s almost afraid for a moment it might blow him away. He’s found himself feeling so insubstantial as of late, it’s shocking when his feet don’t lift off from the roof entirely. He crosses the distance towards you slowly. 

If you hear him approaching, you don’t show it.

Normally he wouldn’t start a conversation of his own volition but he did follow you up here and the silence is getting a bit deafening, even with the breeze.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

It’s simple, but it’s all he can think to say. Funny, with how many words that run through his head, he can never find the right ones when he wants them.

You turn then, and your face is...well it’s a face. He tends not to look at people’s faces much—doesn’t want to see their expressions when they look at him, but from what he can tell you aren’t upset that he’s here at least.

“I love the city at night.”

That’s all you offer in response and he knows somehow that you’ll keep talking even if he doesn’t answer. That you know how much he hates the quiet but can’t ever fill it himself.

“When you’re up high enough, you can pretend the streetlights are stars,” you divulge, as if it’s some sort of great, long kept secret.

Maybe it is.

Maybe you have a lot of secrets. You seem to him like the type of person who would. Who keeps life changing truths tucked under your tongue to drop suddenly over convenience store dinners and cheap beer.

He thinks that maybe he’d like to know them.

“It’s always so alive during the day, the streets I mean,” you continue, eyes trained out on the buildings below, tracing constellations from block to block. “But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s rotting too like….”

You trail off and don’t finish the thought, but you don’t have to. He knows what you mean: like the city is a wound that’s festering. That all the people and the heroes that corral them like cattle are just an infection waiting to spread.

“What are you doing here?” he asks again, because he hasn’t been able to come up with anything else.

Your gaze flits over his face this time, and Shigaraki almost misses the small smile that plays at your lips. He’s close enough now that you could touch him, and you almost do, shoulders just inches away from brushing. But you don’t close the gap.

You touch the others, a lot actually, though he gets the sense you’re the type to ask first. And with his mind running on overdrive every waking second, he gets overstimulated easily. He should probably be thankful you aren’t as familiar with him. That you bother to notice the distance he keeps even when he rarely pays you any mind.

Maybe you’re thankful for that too.

“You know, scream therapy is a very effective and cheap alternative to professional intervention,” you say matter of factly in response.

He waits for you to continue and you do.

“There’s no one out this late but heroes on patrols and they won’t come to help us, so this is a perfect opportunity to give it a try.”

He can feel his brow knitting together and you raise your hand for a second as if to smooth your thumb over the wrinkled skin. Shigaraki doesn’t move, but watches your fingers pause in mid motion and drop back down.

There’s a strange charge in the air between you—a spark he distantly wishes would ignite if only so he could stop churning in his gut.

“How do you do it?”

He’s never asked so many questions of anyone in his life. But he finds he truly wants to know.

And you’re the one that can show him.

You breathe deeply beside him, letting your eyes drift shut and taking a step towards the ledge. With hands balled into righteous little fists, you bend a bit at the waist and you...scream.

Shigaraki isn’t quite sure what he’d expected, but for some reason it wasn’t that.

He’s heard shouts before, cries for help or out of fear, but nothing like this. The sound seems to bubble up from some deep, dank pit inside you and bursts forth from your mouth like a geyser spewing boiling water from the earth. It’s long and low and loudloudloud. It isn’t a sound he could ever imagine you making, but it rumbles in his chest as if it’s his own.

Just watching has a weight lifting from his shoulders.

You keep going even when he knows you should have run out of air. But you aren’t really making the noise, you’re just letting it escape. He’s not sure how he knows that but he does.

Your voice cracks and snaps and rages forth and you scream in a way he feels in his very bones. The garbled, awful sound is so clearly understandable despite the wind that carries it away.

It says: I am free and young and can feel none of it.

And then it’s words. Words that tumble from you in a torrent.

About your family, about what’s been done to you, what you’ve done to yourself.

About the lies and the injustice of it all.

You’re heaving by the end, deflated as though all the screams had left behind an empty space—an abscess drained and ready to heal over or fill back up.

“It’s your turn.”

Shigaraki stares at you, silhouetted by the dull, silver glow of the city and panting. You both look at each other for a moment, reveling in the odd connection that sometimes forms between strangers who know far too much about each other.

He doesn’t think he could top that, but the energy you’ve created is invigorating and he’s determined to ride the wave while he has it.

Taking a step, he joins you by the ledge again, and you back up as if allowing him into the spotlight. The wind will swallow whatever he says, it will eat the words like a starving behemoth and he finds himself ready to feed the beast.

He has to dig deep, scratch at old sores to make them bleed again, tear at scabs so he can let the contaminating thoughts leak out. Once he feels like he’s breached far enough, Shigaraki takes a breath.

And he screams.

His body doubles over with the strength of it, foot slamming down onto the roofing and four fingers fisted in the hem of his shirt.

It hurts coming out, rips at his vocal chords and has his throat raw to bleeding after just the first few seconds but he pushes past it.

He wonders if this is what a runner's high feels like, when you’ve pushed beyond the side stitches and knee aches and your blood finally rushes with all those elusive feel good chemicals he never has enough of.

Whatever it is, the feeling is addicting.

Shigaraki is dimly aware of you in his peripheral, encouraging the tsunami thoughts in his head to be thrust out into the uncaring arms of the city skyline.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t have to search for the words. They simply come. All his frustrations, some he wasn’t even conscious of, spill fresh and steaming like blood. Physically, his body remains but somewhere in the depths of his mind he is younger and hurt and alone and trying desperately to scream.

“I destroy everything I touch!” he roars at the apathetic, grey sidewalk below.

After the last word leaves him, he feels the same weightlessness he’d seen in the sag of your shoulders. The same snapping of the coil slack in his spine.

And suddenly, with this glorious, awful sense of revelation, Shigaraki realizes that everything in his head has gone quiet.

He’s over taken by a silence that requires no filling, a peace that he’d imagined only existed at the bottom of abandoned wells, far away from any chubby child’s hands that may toss foolish wishes down them.

He thinks about kissing you then.

And he knows now that this thought has always been there, but it was drowned like a subway rat in the aftermath of the hurricane brewing in his brainstem. He has always noticed you no matter how hard you try to blend into the background. Your voice has always been a bit better at shutting out the unending, worthless choir in his head.

He wouldn’t have followed anyone else up here—not Dabi, not Spinner, not Compress or even Kurogiri.

He can see that now. In this new enlightened state, everything is so much clearer. Though he is quickly thrust back into the present, into his body once again, as another kind of soft weight settles on his shoulders. Your coat is skin warmed and smells like you and everything he’s ever loved in his own screwy little way. He realizes then that you’ve been trying to talk to him this whole time.

“Shigs,” you call again and tuck the coat tighter around his shoulders, “you were shaking.”

Shigaraki nods, feeling relief from the cold he hadn’t quite been aware of till now. He’s not sure if you’ve ever addressed him so informally before, but he decides he likes the nickname.

It feels a bit like a gift.

“Better, yeah?”

He’s not really sure if it’s better, but it is different and it’s been impossibly long since anything has been different, so he thinks it must be good.

“Yes,” he says.

It’s a general yes, both to your question and to you, whatever that might mean. He doesn’t say anything more because he’s done enough talking and you nod like you understand.

Neither of you moves to leave the roof, but you do inch closer to him this time, closing the gap and tucking him into your side. Your arm is slung gently across his shoulders and he finds the weight of it relieving.

That seems like it shouldn’t make since but it does—a paradox of sorts, weight being a comfort.

Then the sun begins to rise and it’s as if he’s seeing you in a new light.

Your profile outlined by the stark daybreak rays, so horribly strong despite the scream he knows is forming again under the surface.

And Shigaraki wonders if you see him that way too.

[tobiosmilktea]

umpah umpah! smau

↪︎ bokuto x f!reader x iwaizumi

[032] — rain check!

masterlist | prev. | next

a/n: im finally done with exams which means im opening up requests again 🥳 ALSO there’s only the epilogue chapter left!

something that iwaizumi didn’t quite get was the idea of getting up early hours before the game even starts.

it’s almost seven in the morning and it was still dark out. the sun could barely be construed through the tall skyscrapers of tokyo as he entered the large stadium. the actual charity game wasn’t starting until 11 am and the alders weren’t going to arrive for another couple hours. and yet the white florescent lights casted shadows upon the athletic trainer and the rest of the msby team in the early morning. granted, the bright lights did strain his tired eyes a bit.

fatigue was evident upon iwaizumi’s expression. he didn’t get much sleep last night knowing what today had in store for him—rejection and heartbreak or utter joy? he liked to believe he had high hopes, but he honestly wasn’t sure anymore.

the black jackals were already warming up on the court. atsumu and sakusa were helping each other stretch while hinata was talking tomas’ ear off. everyone was doing what they supposed to be doing with iwaizumi staying on the sidelines and checking his clipboard out of habit as if any of the writing on it would change.

“hey,” a voice calls out, familiar in all the right and wrong ways that iwaizumi almost hesitated to look up. but once he did, he was greeted by a smile from bokuto. “good luck today.”

confusion seeped through iwaizumi, it was slight, yet still noticeable enough from the furrowing of his eyebrows. “shouldn’t i be the one saying that to you?”

he was the one playing a game today.

“i meant about (y/n). we’re going to be working with each other for a while, so no hard feelings to whoever she chooses, alright?” bokuto sticks his hand out for iwaizumi to shake.

a look washed over him, but rather than confusion it was simply unreadable. why was he being so nice? if anything, it was clear bokuto had the upperhand ever since iwaizumi got into that argument with you a month ago, and yet bokuto wasn’t taking any of the advantages handed to him. perhaps at that point did iwaizumi understand your dilemma.

“of course,” the athletic trainer says, clasping his hand against bokuto’s rough ones with a firm shake.

as they let go, a buzz emits from both of their phones. bokuto was glad that he still had his phone on hand as he opened up the notification, iwaizumi soon following suit.

your head thumped against your seat, the sound of the plane’s engine battered against your temples as you let out a sigh. your hands still shook from texting iwaizumi and bokuto, recalling the beat of your heart against your ribcage as you thumb hovered over the ‘send’ button.

man, you were never going to grow out of this phrase of choosing what’s easy over what’s right. it was easy to juet ignore your problems and leave it all be, but it wasn’t right. iwaizumi and bokuto didn’t deserve this type of treatment from you and you’re well aware of it.

you stared out of the plane’s window, eyes wandering the near-empty runway. sugawara noticed how quiet you’ve been this entire time. usually, you loved idea of waking up in the early mornings to drive to the airport where everything’s serenely surreal. it didn’t matter if your flight were to be delayed or if there was a small child kicking at your seat, you always looked forward to plane rides. and yet your demeanor was nowhere to be seen.

you stared out of the plane’s window, eyes wandering the near-empty runway. sugawara noticed how quiet you’ve been this entire time. usually, you loved idea of waking up in the early mornings to drive to the airport where everything’s serenely surreal. it didn’t matter if your flight were to be delayed or if there was a small child kicking at your seat, you always looked forward to plane rides. and yet your demeanor was nowhere to be seen.

his gaze flickers down to your phone clutched into your hand as if you feared it was going to disappear. every few seconds you would check if they had texted back.

an inaudible sigh left sugawara as he turns over to akaashi who sat in the seat next to him, closest to the aisle. his headphones were already muffled against his ears and his eye lids were on the cusp of dropping. sugawara supposes he couldn’t get help on this one.

“i told you to text them that last night, (y/n).”

“it was late and i didn’t want to disturb them,” you answer. it was half true and half a lie and sugawara could clearly see right through it.

“but you knew if you waited until the last minute, they wouldn’t have the chance to chase after you to the airport,” he presses.

was it that easy to read you like an open book?

you could only stay quiet as you wanted to disappear into the light layer of murmurs of the rest of the passengers on the flight. it was going to be like this for thirteen hours, huh? one long flight from tokyo to los angeles like it’s nothing.

“i figured that i’d be away for long enough that they’ll finally give up their feelings for me.” you finally say, breaking the silence that sugawara patiently waited in. “it sounds selfish, i know that, but i’d rather have iwa and bo move on knowing that i chose neither of them than hurt knowing i only chose one.”

sugawara pressed his lips into a line, thinking carefully on what to say next. “you’re still hurting them either way, don’t you think?” the words left him before he could even stop himself, yet he was would be lying if he chose not to say anything.

your gaze, all sober and tired, finally met up with his as a pitiful smile melted across your face. “it’s not like i haven’t before...”

“and what about you?” sugawara asks, “doesn’t it hurt you the same way?”

“of course it does,” but you almost wanted to scoff at your words, “we’d have to suffer the pain regardless, that’s just how it is.”

“it doesn’t have to be...”

sugawara swears he felt his heart break as your voice waivered, “i know.” it was hushed, almost like a whisper. “but i chose it to be this way–i guess i really am selfish.”

“(y/n)—” he tries to speak in attempt to comfort you, but he is interrupted by the flight attndant’s presense.

“please refrain from using technology during take off, thank you,” the lady says kindly.

you nod immediately, completely overlooking the text bubbles appearing on both iwaizumi and bokuto’s chats. before you could feel the buzz of their messages, you turn off your phone completely as you stuffed it into your bag.

fun facts! —

both bo and iwa know that y/n texted them both and they decided on whoever y/n is who she chooses

bokuto ended up being pulled from the game halfway through because he was too distracted

iwaizumi couldn’t focus on the game either as the whole time he was checking his phone if you ever responded

they stayed up all night hoping to get a text back from you (hint: it isn’t over yet)

taglist: (closed!)

@moonlightaangel @elianetsantana @k4tiepie @memorableminds @wheeshllumi @suhkusa @kitsunetea @airybby @noeminemi @truly-a-snitch @keichan @cosmicmermaid25 @bap-kingdom @saturnfarie @kwdflash @ennos-baby @dinablossom @chrisrue15 @seikamuzu @nestlevanilla @chasekudo @yammmers @pixcldust @iwaizluv @h0ngh0ngh0ng @emogrils @tiredandkindaoverworked @tsumue @underratedmage @bokutosuwus @kellesvt @unstableye @oh-tapeworm @scrappyfka @alittlebitofrain @mxngy @tpwkatsumu @atsumuwoah @macchiatoast @dicerawr @kageyamasbabygorl @some-random-stranger-007 @vhskenma @wntrmn @little-plants @stargirlara @kissungjae @je11yfishwriter @sbaepsae @apollochjld

[paunchsalazar]

hey!! i loved your hoo playlist! can you explain more or less where which book begins and ends? or just your thought process behind picking the songs?

omg hi!! this is going to be really long I’m so sorry... I vaguely broke them up by book and sorta character/event/theme, it’s not super strict or anything but that was the logic!

I kinda imagine it playing out like a movie or tv series.. and so some of these kinda play over a scene or transition to the credits in my head? some more than others! otherwise it’s like punny titles or just songs that remind of plot points!

Lost Hero

- Goodbye Stranger - for Jason, since he has no idea what’s going on lol

- Teenage Dream - for the three of them, but mostly Piper!

You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong

- Parachute - kinda Jason and Piper, I think as she realizes their relationship isn’t quite what it seems? (and just playing with his flying lol!)

- Metal Guru - Leo! 

- Pretty Girl - Piper, I was imagining this when she clashes with Drew/learns about the Aphrodite cabin

And I could be a pretty girl Shut up when you want me to And I could be a pretty girl Won't ever make you blue And I could be a pretty girl I'll lose myself in you

- The Sky’s The Limit - when the three of them take off on Festus

- Snowqueen Of Texas - this was for Khione lol

I'm on my knees, your majesty; Snowqueen, save a cold kiss for me I'm on my knees your majesty

- Sweet Talkin’ Woman - this is book-wide but it’s for Piper’s charmspeak!

- Are You Gonna Be My Girl - is sorta general but I was imagining it when Jason and Piper kinda decide to be together/give it another go

- It’s Not Unusual - I think this was sorta the entire book/wider series but I just think it’s cute and fun and a Guardians of the Galaxy type end credits song? And just them accepting their very bizarre situation 

Son of Neptune + Mark of Athena

I put these together because there wasn’t really a set bookend in my head!

- Hello Stranger - finally reuniting with Percy! (and I wanted the Percy and Jason songs to mirror each other)

Hello stranger (Ooh) It seems so good to see you back again How long has it been? (Ooh it seems like a mighty long time)

- Diamonds - Hazel 

- Don’t Go Breaking My Heart - Frank trusting Hazel with the wood, also Percy + Annabeth, everyone really

Don't go breaking my heart You take the weight off of me Oh, honey when you knock on my door Ooh, I gave you my key

- Beautiful Soul - I literally don’t know why I added this I just wanted an excuse to add a Jesse McCartney song (which feels so tonally correct to me?) but also I think it’s Frank liking Hazel in spite of her big secret and Percy loving Annabeth

- Pocketful of Rainbows - encountering Iris!

I don't worry Whenever skies are gray above Got a pocketful of rainbows Got a heart full of love

- Am I The Same Girl - Annabeth’s POV upon reunion!

Why don´t you stop And look me over Am I the same girl you used to know?

Why don´t you stop And think it over Am I the same girl who knew your soul?

- Bizarre Love Triangle - Frank, Hazel, and Leo

- Treasure - Hazel again + the literal treasure?

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl you should be smiling (you should be smiling) A girl like you should never look so blue (blue) You're everything I see in my dreams I wouldn't say that to you if it wasn't true

- The Sweet Escape - off on the Argo II

- Okay Okay - to Italy! and I just think Italian disco is so fun

- On An Evening in Roma - walking around Rome, seeing all its history

Though there's grinning and mandolining in sunny Italy The beginning has just begun when the sun goes down So please meet me in the plaza near your casa I am only one and that is one too few On an evening in Roma Don't know what the country's coming to But in Rome do as the Romans do Will you on an evening in Roma

- Stuck on the puzzle - Annabeth + the Mark of Athena

- Coca Cola - I was imagining the pirates+sacrifice to Dionysus/ his appearance

- Edge of Seventeen - I think Annabeth remarks to herself something like am I really going to die at 17? so this is for her and all the kids just on the cusp of being 17

And the days go by, like a strand in the wind In the web that is my own, I begin again Said to my friend, baby (everything stopped) Nothin' else mattered

- Landslide - when everything goes wrong and they start falling to Tartarus

Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too

House of Hades + Blood of Olympus

these are more thematic I think? but a few moments in particular

- Head Over Heels - falling down... 

I made a fire, and watching it burn Thought of your future With one foot in the past, now just how long will it last?

Something happens and I'm head over heels I never find out until I'm head over heels Something happens and I'm head over heels Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart Don't, don't, don't throw it away

- You and Me - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus

If the stars don't shine If the moon won't rise If I never see the setting sun again You won't hear me cry as I testify Please believe me boy you know I would I lie As long as there is you and me

- Don’t Worry Baby - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, on the shore of the river

Well it's been building up inside of me For oh I don't know how long I don't know why But I keep thinking Something's bound to go wrong

But she looks in my eyes And makes me realize And she says "don't worry, baby"

- It’s Only A Paper Moon - the mist and Hazel starting to understand it

You smile, the bubble has a rainbow in it Say, it's only a paper moon Sailing over a cardboard sea But it wouldn't be make-believe If you believed in me

- Money, Money, Money - Hazel + Pluto

Money, money, money Must be funny In the rich man's world

- Magic - the whole story, but particularly with the presence of Hecate 

- Summer Wind - Jason harnessing the winds!

The summer wind came blowin' in from across the sea It lingered there, to touch your hair and walk with me All summer long we sang a song and then we strolled that golden sand Two sweethearts and the summer wind

- Mala Femmina - the return of Khione

- Would You? - Leo and Calypso

Well, you know she took my hand And we walked away And I can't understand why she would stay Would you like to fall in love with me?

-  Love is Like a Fire - Leo and also Frank 

- Don’t Wanna Fight - Percy and Annabeth

Take from my hand Put in your hands The fruit of all my grief Lying down ain't easy When everyone is pleasing I can't get no relief Living ain't no fun The constant dedication Keeping the water and power on There ain't nobody left Why can't I catch my breath? I'm gonna work myself to death

- Love Really Hurts With You - Leo after leaving Calypso’s island

- What Makes the Sunset - Percy and Annabeth (and by extension Bob and Damasen)

What makes the sunset? What makes the moonrise? What makes the tide remember to hide and why does it soon rise? What makes a star fall? Where does it fall to? Why does its flight make us stop in the night and wish as we all do?

- Dedicated to the One I Love - everybody, but an ode to Bob and Damasen (their goodbye made me cry!)

While I'm far away from you my baby I know it's hard for you my baby Because it's hard for me my baby And the darkest hour is just before dawn

Each night before you go to bed my baby Whisper a little prayer for me my baby And tell all the stars above This is dedicated to the one I love

- Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, I was thinking about this post-curses and them being so done with everything

Good times for a change See, the luck I've had Can make a good man Turn bad

So please, please, please Let me, let me, let me Let me get what I want This time

- Lonely Boy - Nico 

- Fantasy - indulging all their visions... the mist, etc. 

- Stupid Cupid - Nico and Cupid (of course)

Stupid Cupid you're a real mean guy (stupid Cupid) I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly (stupid Cupid) I'm in love and it's a crying shame (stupid Cupid) And I know that you're the one to blame (stupid Cupid)

Hey hey, set me free Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

- Suzanne - still Nico, looking over at the couple (sorry... all the mopey songs)

- Dream A Little Dream of Me - dreams... also Percy’s wishes of the future

Stars shining bright above you Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you" Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream a little dream of me

- Our Day Will Come - I think Annabeth says a line almost like this? somewhere at the end of HOH, I think when they’ve just gotten out of Tartarus and are all sitting together, like haven’t they had enough? won’t their day finally come?

Our day will come If we just wait a while No tears for us Think love and wear a smile Our dreams have magic because We'll always stay In love this way

- Call Me - all of them! also Nico and Reyna, just being there for each other

Tell me and I'll be around Now don't forget me 'cause if you let me I will always stay by you You've got to trust me, that's how it must be

- Nobody - Nico... oh buddy 

Venus, planet of love Was destroyed by global warming Did its people want too much too? Did its people want too much?

And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me Guess I'm a coward I just want to feel alright

- I’m a Believer - Jason and Piper

I thought love was only true in fairy tales Meant for someone else but not for me Love was out to get me That's the way it seemed Disappointment haunted all my dreams Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer Not a trace of doubt in my mind

- Summertime - Piper singing and it being the end of summer

- Happy Trails - more singing ( I want to include the songs actually mentioned!)

- The End of the World - the big battle!!

Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world? 'Cause you don't love me any more

- Too Late To Turn Back Now - departing with Festus (I think Leo almost says this too!)

- Here Comes The Sun - day comes, the Athena Parthenos is back

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

- Walking On Sunshine - Will Solace

- Evil Woman - Gaea fight

Evil woman, how you done me wrong But now you're tryin' to wail a different song Ha, ha, funny, how you broke me up You made the wine, now you drink a cup I came runnin' every time you cried Thought I saw love smilin' in your eyes Ha, ha, very nice to know That you ain't got no place left to go

- Seven Wonders - the seven! also traveling the world... making it this far

If I live to see the seven wonders I'll make a path to the rainbow's end I'll never live to match the beauty again The rainbow's edge

- This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - to me this is just after Annabeth and Percy’s kiss, shots of everyone back to camp, wides of people running around, new cabins under construction, the sun is shining, the camera pulls out 

Loving you is some kind of wonderful Because you showed me just how much you care You've given me the thrill of a lifetime And made me believe you've got more thrills to spare, oh!

- Love Makes the World Go Round - like the end credits! last pov with Piper, love makes it all happen

Without love flowers wouldn't grow in the spring And without spring, yeah the birdies just couldnt sing Everybody needs love to watch the twinkling stars above It makes a boy and girl, Say they feel so fine, now